#having a 45 dogs all barking at once

[alluringnectar]

Timeless

abby anderson x fem!reader

a/n: srry ts might b a lil short lol, kinda rushed

summary: you go on a patrol with abby

warnings: sfw, slow burn, js kinda angst, not rlly tho

pt. 1 , pt. 2, pt. 3

it’s 5:45 in the morning.

the sky is still dark, you can hear the hums of cicadas and the hoots of owls.

you’re in the back of a W.L.F. truck, holding double barreled shot gun. infront of your view is alice and abby. even though its pitch black out, her features illuminate like the moon; at that point moths would even be attracted.

you didn’t realize you were even bouncing your leg until abby held your leg.

“nervous?” she asked, chuckling. “yeah, it’s my first patrol since i ever got promoted” you shyly admitted, “i’m scared im gonna fuck things up.” abby listened to you intently, finding comfort in your pure honesty. “everyone fucks up once in every while, it doesn’t get easier, just easier to handle.” you smiled, full of teeth, thanking her.

how could this even be the same girl Mel was talking about?

the truck comes to an abrupt halt, signaling it’s time to hop off. Abby, Alice, & you jump off, thanking the W.L.F. driver. “good luck girls!”

as you walk into the abandoned ruins of what was once a beauty thriving city, abby pulls out a map. “there should be a hospital around here somewhere. orders are to clear it and get all supplies.” you nod, following her as she walks to the abandoned hospital.

as you walk in, you feel shivers. you turn to look at abby, but she has a sad look on her eyes, like a sad puppy dog.

you hear barks, that takes you out of your thoughts. both abby and you flinched.

alice is barking at this door, abby and you budge it open.

then out of no where, a stalker jumps you. before you can take out your pistol, abby grabs a shiv and stabs it in the throat.

it lays there, blood seeping out.

“are you okay?” abby asks you, “yes, im fine thank you.” abby offers her hand and you take her in.

both you and abby look around the room.

its a chapel.

“ it’s pretty, isn’t it?” you say to abby as you admire the alter, the benches that once had many families praying for patients to get better. abby hums, and she asks, “do you believe in God?” you tell her, “I believe in God, i just dont know if he believes in me.” abby looks at you, “what do you mean?” “i believe he is real when i see fawns and their mothers taking care of eachother. i believe he is real when i see the sun taking care of the plants as the sunrays reach them. i feel like God doesn’t believe me when i see the sufferings of this world, when i lose the people i love, or i see the once humans so alive, laughing, crying, and other emotions trapped in all the fungus.” abby looks at you, intently staring and picking up at every feature.

“do you?” you ask, snapping abby out of her trance. “do i what?” abby asks. “believe in God?” abby sighs , “if God was real, maybe he wouldn’t have taken away my farther.” your heart hurts for her, and you embrace her, letting her know shes not alone. she returns it, holding you tight

you feel a sharp pain the back of your shin, causing you to hiss. “whats wrong?” abby asks you worryingly. you pull up your pants and replied “glass must’ve cut me with that stalker was on me.” “i don’t know how i didn’t feel it, must’ve been the adrenaline” you joke, causing abby to laugh.

“sit down, ill get you treated” abby says.

she wraps your leg and puts anti infection cream all over as she cleaned the wound.

“how do you know how to do all this?”

“my dad was a doctor, i only learned from the best.”

“your father was blessed to have you.”

“he would’ve liked you.”

“yeah?”

“yeah.”

“let’s report back to base, we have supplies now anyways.”

you learned her farther name was Jerry.

as abby, alice, and you go back to base, alice is put into her kennel.

“see you soon alice!!” you both yell.

abby and you report your findings to other W.L.F. members then abby takes you to the infirmary because she swears it’s necessary.

and she isn’t wrong because Nora is telling you with an injury that severe you need to stay home and supervised.

abby volunteers, and now she’s next to you on the couch, with you falling asleep on her shoulder.

she could get used to this view.

[ejaydoeshisbest]

I wonder how you'd feel, seeing me now, long past the age when you built your first house, married your first love, adopted a fine dog, had your first child.

I wonder how you'd feel, seeing me now, long past the age when you built your first house, married your first love, adopted a fine dog, had your first child.

All I want is to be small again, light enough for you to scoop me up into your arms. Plump little legs climbing trees, bark scraping against my smooth skin like pencil-written memories on holiday cards.

I want your kindness. You told me once that words were meant to uplift and encourage. To bring comfort over mugs of hot creamy chocolate drinks. To be poured over like sweetened green tea.

Oh, but the world is cruel, and I have lost such words in me. Replaced by barbed-wire letters from monsters masquerading as people. They cut and wriggle like little snakes, venom poisoning the goodness you have given me before you went away. Little worms squirming in a rotting apple.

I crave laughter and rest and safety. I miss the feeling of your rough morning stubble tickling my cheek. I want to go to bed without a worry lingering in my head, confident, assured, guaranteed, that the first thing I’d see was a window welcoming the morning sun instead of an alarm ragefully rousing me from six hours of sleep.

Red digits blaring, telling me that I have 45 minutes left to get my shit together before squeezing myself between arms and legs and sweat and alcohol and perfume, choking more than the smog hovering in the daily commute. I miss wide roads and wet fields where water buffalos padded, leaving footprints in the mud next to mine.

You would hang our parol by this time, its yellows and greens a signal of sweet ham and round red cheeses about to decorate our humble table.

I’m sorry I could not save it during the last typhoon: I was stranded at work under flickering fluorescent lights. Working and continuing to live has taken so much from me. It has whisked precious memories we forged during my childhood.

I wish I could go back to the time when you saw me as your treasure, your gem, full of potential. When we all believed I could be someone who would bring so much love into this world.

I want to sit on our old carpet during blackouts and hear all the stories you reserved in a world without electricity. Stories of courage and of bravery and of strength.

Stories worth more than the daily self-affirmations and optimistic texts I scour in every social media platform to delude myself into thinking that I am fine, just fine, just peachy, #adulting #adultingfor12yearsLOLROFL #winkyface #getthatcoin

Words: Ejay Diwas

[the-space-jesus]

♪ Rehearsal 7 ♪

Oh jeez oh boy this is a long one. BUCKLE UP!

So, since this Tuesday we had a free day (this is literally as rare as an eclipse happening we never get random free days) our theatre group decided that we should do the most productive thing of all with that free day: rehearse! (Instead of practicing for the test that I have literally the next day...). So, I'm that one person of the group that lives an hour away from everyone else, and I decided that for once they should be the ones to have to bike for like 45 minutes or sit in a tram for an hour! It's also because I found this really cool amfitheater-like spot near my tram-station, and I figured it'd be the perfect place to rehearse!

I brought my totally neurotypical bag (from the 'if you see some1 w this bag wyd' post) and went in what I currently already have for my Ricky costume!

When I arrived at the tram-station, Ocean was already there (very in-character of her) and we chatted until the rest arrived too, and we went to the spot to practice. We basically did a bunch of random scenes, but for the most part it was a walkthrough of the entire musical (is that the correct English word btw??), but we didn't get very far...

By the rest, I mean Karnak 1. We were a small group, being only me (Ricky), Mischa, Karnak 1, and Ocean.

When we were rehearsing Fall Fair Suite, this random child and it's mother just decided to spawn out of nowhere and feed the ducks whilst we were rehearsing, it was so awkwardd.

At some point we decided to go to my house because why not?? But we got distracted by the playground right behind the amfitheater-space...I tried to stay in-character but the playground isn't very fun when you can't walk correctly...also we toooootally didn't jokingly try pole-dancing on one of those fireman-poles and fall to our certain deaths, and by we I mean Mischa (and I'm pretty sure Ocean tried it too at some point).

why did I just randomly get a HIT of rehearsal 1 nostalgia wtf

Anyways, after the playground (it sounds like we're all like 7 years old or some shit XD) we continued walking to my house and I discovered that Karnak 1 knows THE NEIGHBORHOOD THAT I LIVE IN better than me. So yay.

Don't ask me why, but like 70% of the time that we spent walking I had put on the Nyan Cat Theme. It was just funny idfk we probably looked like crazy people smh. Also, we were in-character at some point whilst walking and basically what happened was that we were all already at the point in the time-line where we're dead, and Ricky annoys everyone by playing Nyan Cat on loop. How he can play it with no wifi? He downloaded it. It is the only song he has every downloaded. The St. Cassian Chamber Choir will forever be hearing the Nyan Cat Theme.

Anywayzeee, then we got to my house and ate some cheese sticks (it's a Dutch thing and is NOT as disgusting as it sounds, I <3 cheese sticks!!) with some orange juice and for some reason we were all really calm and down to earth (probably just tired from rehearsal). We js talked about plans for RTC and (other) stuff.

My dog REALLY liked our new guests, also yes I have a dog she's the sweetest little DEMON named Pixel. She literally jumped on everyone and could not stop sniffing them and begging them for cheese sticks. I had to teach my friends how to say "DOWN!" in Bulgarian (Доло), because that's one of the few commands that she listens to.

Then, we decided to continue rehearsing because why not! When Mischa was performing Talia, my dog was very intrigued and worried, and she started barking REALLY loudly when Mischa started (fake-)crying at the end of the song. Apparently his performance was so good that my dog believed it haha.

Before that I also had to practice my monologue and little thingy after SABM and it was kind of chaotic and I didn't do very well because for me to do a scene properly I have to be in the mood and also rehearse in front of the mirror like 40 times...

I also gave them a room tour!! Mischa had a lot of appreciation for my RTC wall (which has grown btw, I will make another post about it soon!).

That was all!!^^

-Ricky Potts🖖

[bumblebeeappletree]

We meet a garden guru known for celebrating the diverse and unique flora of arid Alice Springs.

Geoff Miers is a garden legend who calls the heart of Australia home. He's passionate about coaching others to garden in arid conditions, and his career on ABC talkback radio has run for as long as Gardening Australia has been on the air. Over the decades, Geoff's also been growing and selling plants from his nursery and has learned a thing or two about coping with an arid climate.

"It's a desert environment; the climatic extremes are colossal," says Geoff with winter temperatures dropping below -8°C for weeks at a time and summer temperatures reaching 45°C in the shade. "We can have no rain for two months, three months, six months and then the Todd (River) will flow. You never know what's around the corner," says Geoff. "That's the exciting part; it's challenging. But if you understand and respect the environment, and work with the climate, you will have a fantastic garden." The NT has the highest population turnover in Australia and Geoff says, "constantly people are exposed to the new environment, and they need coaching, and that's where I try to play an important role."

In his nursery, Geoff sells citrus and other plants suitable for arid zones. He shows us plants with fine needle-like leaves that don't lose a lot of water through evaporation. One example, Acacia peuce or Waddywood, is a rare tree. Geoff says, "they'll grow for 500 years and once they are old you can't even put a nail in them, they're that tough. They have adapted to the most extreme environment anywhere in the world," says Geoff. The red mulga, Acacia cyperophylla is another one that's similar. Geoff says, "it's a hardy tree and it has this flaking, minni ritchi bark. It's just stunningly red and it's the most outstanding feature." Eremophilas are increasingly popular with many varieties of colour and fantastic blooms. Geoff says, "they are such a fantastic plant for diverse conditions, they are just stunning in terms of the floral display… and they'll grow in sand, they'll grow in even heavy clay." Geoff says his favourite is Eremophila macdonnellii 'Simpson Desert Form' because it has "flowers through spring, summer and autumn, is tolerant of a diverse range of soil conditions."

Geoff propagates thousands of plants each year at home, including 3,000 native lemongrass, 1,500 kangaroo grass or Themeda triandra, and several groundcovers. "They're bird attracting, bush tucker foods, suitable for this environment and the demand for them is endless," says Geoff. His propagation house has over 5,000 cuttings, "all starting to develop roots… before long all these plants will be in tubes and pots, and by next autumn and they'll be out in people's gardens," says Geoff. His own home garden is filled with central Australian plants with a towering ghost gum as the centrepiece. He says this tree "epitomises to me everything about central Australia, it's glorious." When the dog chewed through the irrigation lines 18 years ago, he turned the water off. "I now only water this garden in the first or second week of January and that's it. I give it five inches of water and that recharges the plants," says Geoff, "I try to demonstrate what I preach in my front yard; it's designed to suit this environment."

Appropriate gardens and water conservation is something Geoff has preached and written about for over 30 years. Geoff says, "that's been my message all along. With climate change, it was predicted that we would have greater droughts, greater floods, greater extremes of temperature. We're already experiencing that in central Australia, so you've got to be prepared for that. The best way to do that, is to create a garden that's best suited for the climatic extremes."

[wyrddogs]

Training update:

ZAKU

Taking him for walks on the harness. He's allowed to pull as hard as he wants (and by god does he pull hard), but it must be calmly and in a forward direction. No lunging, backflips, barking, etc. and no yanking me to the side. He's able to calmly pass people on the sidewalk as long as they ignore him. We're doing a wide berth of dogs and children so he practices calmly passing them. He's doing reallywell.

Working on LLW separately, after he's tired from a walk. He's doing pretty good yielding to collar pressure. He has a great natural check-in.

Relatedly, we are working on attention around distractions like squirrels and birds. He is very birdy. The nice thing about raising a dachshund first is it really taught me to be patient when waiting the dog out.

Went through a week of scream-barking at me from the crate because he no longer wanted to nap in the crate. Absolute hell. Once time I clocked him at screaming for 45 minutes without stopping. We are back to quietly napping in the crate.

We are back to testing our ability to ignore recalls, now with added walking away. The magical dragline continues to enforce recalls. This is normal for a puppy his age, but aggravating. I miss my beautiful auto-response. XD Just going to keep practicing around any and all distractions.

Uhhh what else. Still going to baby agility class, where he is doing great. Still coming to Kermit's agility class, where he works on playing tug while dogs run a course. Still going to confo class, where he is a wiggleworm, but good.

He has earned a lot more freedom than Kermit had at his age. He gets quite a lot of loose room and yard time because he can be trusted to make good choices under supervision. He's a smart, curious puppy but very much wants to please and is happy to be redirected when needed.

KERMIT

Agility class is focusing on having him run enthusiastically. With the increase in temperature he's sloooowed way down. So basically our only goal at the moment is enthusiasm. XD

He is zooming through my aboveground earthdog tunnel with enthusiasm. I added a short curve at the end and he was fine. Now I need to build a rat box.

Hoping to take him ratting next week.

BOTH

Retrieve is coming along. Zaku is generally retrieving a tossed planter from a distance of three feet. The "issue" I'm having is in his enthusiasm he sometimes kicks it out much further and then it becomes a game of chase the planter. XD Kermit has picked the planter up and taken a single step toward me before tossing it, which is a good improvement.

[ryujiinxx]

CONTENT WARNING FOR ROACH CANNIBALISM/ANIMAL DEATH

this morning while misting their travel tank one had fallen onto its back from the cork bark when i took it out and was unable to get up, and was struggling to move - i noticed it was trying to molt, but having difficulty so after misting i set it down on one side of the tank with some apple right next to it so it wouldnt go hungry.

after around 45 minutes of monitoring, i see another roach comes by and starts curling itself on top of the first roach. i had NO clue what it was doing because it was taking way too long to be trying to get to the piece of apple. after a good while, i took a flashlight and my stomach dropped; i saw the first roach partially hollowed out as the new one was eating it.

once this roach had its share megatron came along and ate literally EVERY PART of the remains except the last two or three abdominal segments. im incredibly disappointed, but i found out that failed molts like that often result in death anyways. im glad that such a circumstance as this was how i realize that the roaches need more protein, but still disheartened that i had to lose a roach at all. under the cut are some pictures of the whole ordeal, but heavy content warning for roach gore and cannibalism.

the first image was how i found the roach trying to molt, legs hardly working. the rest is pure chaos from megatron and another unnamed roach eating away lol

ive already ordered some flukers cricket diet and tetramin tropical flakes for them, but for now i scooped a few kernels of kibble from my dog food bin and scattered them in there to try and prevent another mishap. hopefully once they return to school in their larger tank the space will also prevent them from doing anything like this.

[blueboyluca]

OK here are my thoughts on chapters 7-9. Chapter 7 is a real doozy. It details Stella starting to use the buttons independently. Why this is incredible to Hunger is beyond me, as the outcome of teaching a dog something is – get this – the dog can now do the thing.

When I saw these gestures, I would sometimes say a verbal prompt, like “What do you want?” Then I stayed silent for at least fifteen seconds to give Stella a chance to respond. Research shows that when communication partners pause for ten to forty-five seconds, AAC users are more likely to respond using their devices. Giving a longer wait time cues the learner that it is their turn to talk. It also gives them more time to process what is happening then choose what to do next.

Research with humans shows this, not research with dogs. The dog doesn’t know what “What do you want?” means. Pausing for ten to 45 seconds will not have the same results between a dog and a human because dog communication doesn’t include speech, so cues for turns to speak don’t mean anything. Humans and dogs share developmental similarities because we are both mammals and we co-evolved, but that doesn't mean our developmental milestones are the same.

“Water,” Stella said.

Stella didn’t say "water”. She pressed a button with a recording that played “water”. The punctuation is deliberate.

This was the most powerful cue we could give Stella to use one of her words now, simply waiting long enough to give her a real chance to say it. It is so natural for adults to want to jump in and help immediately, or to take over to accomplish something quickly. We have to become comfortable with silence and patience before we can expect to see real, significant progress.

More problematic anthropomorphism. The use of the word adult. This isn’t about adults and children, this is about humans and dogs. Once again, Hunger is directly equating disabled children and dogs.

This was the first time Stella had ever said a word totally by herself, without any cues or modeling right beforehand. It was a huge milestone to celebrate.

It’s crazy to me that this is so celebrated by Hunger. In chapter two she described exactly the same situation, just with a different dog and a bell rather than a button. Functionally it is the same. A dog in a room without a human communicated with a device. How is the button any more significant than the bell?

This is completely common and natural for all kids, whether they are learning to talk with a communication device or verbal speech. Children need support before they can do something new entirely on their own. It’s like when babies are learning to walk. They need to hold on to furniture or their parents before they can take several steps freely.

And then directly referencing child development again. Stella is not a human child! Her developmental milestones are not the same as humans!

It was helpful for both Stella and me that I could be upstairs and know exactly what she wanted right when she wanted it. If she had barked, and come up to find me, I would not have known why. If she were standing quietly by the door, I would not have been able to see her from upstairs or even know that she was wanting something. Stella could have her needs attended to much more quickly if she could tell us exactly what she wanted.

This is a great point, the button has communicated something more specific than a bark or a look. But that same specificity could be achieved with a dozen other means! The button with the recording on it is not the important part here!! Also, if Stella had barked and come upstairs to find Hunger, there could have been some basic attempt to figure it out on Hunger's part. Hunger has already described multiple instances of this happening and yet still feels the need to add a button layer into the existing communication.

This time, she left after I finished watering the first plant. About five seconds later, I heard, “water.” I chuckled to myself. I bet seeing the water reminded her that she was thirsty. I started walking down the hall to see Stella walking back toward me. "Do you need water, girl?" As I saw moments later, her water dish was full, and she did not take a drink. Stella returned to the sunroom with me, continuing to watch me give the plants a good soak. She was talking about what was happening, not about something she wanted. This was the first time Stella said a word without requesting an object or an action from one of us. She walked out of the sunroom, down the hall, and into the dining room all simply to tell me what she observed in the world around her.

This is Hunger’s interpretation of what happened. We do not actually know that Stella was using the “water” button to identify the watering can as water for the sake of it. If I take this anecdote at face value – which I admit is difficult – perhaps Stella was communicating that she wanted water, perhaps she wanted to drink the water in the watering can. But I am skeptical that Stella did indeed press the water button at this moment, and if she did that it was directly related to Hunger's actions with the watering can.

Hunger then launches into this anecdote about how they let Stella off lead for the first time ever at a lake house and were shocked – shocked! – that she didn’t run off and instead stopped ahead of them and waited for them to catch up. Hunger attributes all of this to Stella understanding the word “wait” because she apparently now has this kind of language capability, rather than any other possible reason this could have happened. Hunger writes, “It actually mattered to Stella and made sense why she should wait.” This is a really basic interpretation of dog behaviour and fails to consider any other motivations beyond language comprehension. Like, this is the kind of dog owner who says "I told her no, but she kept doing it anyway!" about a dog they haven't trained at all.

In the middle of our meal we heard “outside” come from the back-door area. Everyone quieted down and looked around the table, taking a quick mental head count. We were all there together. That meant the only one who could have said “outside” was Stella.

Multiple times in these anecdotes Hunger has stated that humans have had to consider what mysterious voice spoke. As if the sound of the button is not instantly recognisable. As if the voice coming out of it isn’t just Hunger’s voice. I do not understand why these anecdotes are written this way. It’s not like you wouldn’t be able to recognise a recording and it's weird that she's kind of pretending otherwise.

At four months old, Stella was using three words independently, in multiple environments, with several different people. This was incredibly impressive to me. I could not believe how fast she learned. During the process, it seemed like it took so long, but now, looking back, we only had Stella for two months and she was already saying three different words.

I’m also extremely skeptical about the button pressing instances that haven’t made it into this book. What about all the times that Stella used the buttons and it wasn’t clear that she was communicating the exact meanings of the words “outside”, “play” and “water”? It’s as if Hunger is suggesting that beyond the first month, Stella only ever used the buttons meaningfully and deliberately, every time.

But I taught Stella in all the same ways that I teach children. I didn’t train her to push a button on my command. I didn’t reward her with treats for saying a word. I didn’t use my hand to grab her paw and make her say a word. I didn’t train the behavior of pushing the button first before I attached meaning to it.

Again we see no interest in dog behaviour or existing knowledge of dog training. Hunger did, actually, train Stella to push a button. She did it through operant conditioning. She didn’t reinforce with food, but she did reinforce with opening the door, water, play and praise. This is basic dog training, something Hunger has shown no interest in learning about.

In chapter 8 Hunger decides to add six more buttons all at once. Eat, love you, walk, help, come and no.

It was fascinating to see such a clear difference in her reactions between all her other vocabulary words and “walk.” Stella did not push any of the other words right away, not even “eat.” She stood near me while I modeled them, but they did not capture her attention like “walk” had. Seeing her so excited to push it made me wonder if she had ever wished for the ability to say “walk” before I programmed it for her.

We already know Stella now has button pushing in her behavioural repertoire. The fact that she pushed a button right away does not mean that Stella intrinsically understood the meaning of “walk”. The use of the button immediately preceded the same behaviours that cue a walk, so it’s no wonder that Stella immediately responded to them. She was excited about the cues she observed from Hunger that indicated a walk was imminent. The word “walk” is only one cue out of a whole sequence of predictable behaviours!

She finishes the chapter by using a few paragraphs to wax poetical about abstaining from social media. Amusingly she writes, “Since my brain was not filled with other people’s thoughts, I could really listen to my own.” In this instance I would recommend immediately reading other people’s thoughts, specifically in regards to dog behaviour.

Stella started using her sixth word, help, multiple times a day when she would drop her toy behind the couch or when it rolled under the TV stand. Initially, she said “help” on its own, without pairing gestures with it. Even though we knew she needed help, if Jake or I had not been watching, we would not know where her toy disappeared. Stella would watch us look around, under the couch or under the entertainment center. Then, her tail started wagging and she came to stand right next to us when we were close to it. Soon, Stella started independently combining “help” with a gesture, normally standing where she wanted us to look. She learned that we needed more information to most effectively find her toy.

So far this is the most interesting anecdote about Stella using a button. If this is true, Stella has generalised the meaning of the “help” button to her toys being stuck in different places. This is fascinating! I’d love for this to be expanded upon, for this to be the focus. This has far more potential than any other example.

This chapter also has another weird divergence about minimalism. It’s that annoying thing that some people do where they try to frame social media usage and owning possessions as a kind of moral stance, and shedding themselves of these things makes them more morally pure. Anyway the point of the minimalism thing is to explain why they got rid of all their furniture (even though them moving is enough of an explanation), and that made Stella stressed.

Stella left the room, turned the corner, and said, “no.” She looked up to me with the saddest eyes before she curled up in a ball on top of an empty grocery bag lying on the ground. This was the first time Stella had ever said “no.” She was either commenting on how there was “no” couch there anymore, upset that the couch she grew up snuggling on was suddenly gone, or protesting what we did. Maybe Stella had more awareness and attachment to the items in our home than I had realized.

I’m sorry but I just… don’t believe Hunger. This is too narratively and anthropomorphically convenient. I just don’t trust Hunger. This paragraph is storytelling. This is what Bunny’s owner does in every video, she creates a narrative to explain what’s happening. The key point here being that it’s narrative and does not actually equate to the truth.

Again, how many times is Stella using the buttons “incorrectly”? We have no idea because Hunger never talks about that. She is only giving us anecdotes that fit her narrative. Remember that Hunger has added six new words all at once.

After she heard the words and saw what happened when she said each of them a few times, she started using them more confidently.

I’m just going to say it again: operant conditioning.

Stella watched me zip up the suitcase, said “help,” and curled up in a ball on my lap.

I’m just going to say it again: I have difficulty believing these anecdotes. I have difficulty accepting them exactly as presented, with all the insinuations and implications left unwritten.

This book is a memoir, and a questionable one at that. There is nothing scientific about it, and the "tips" it provides for budding dog button users are extremely dubious. So far she has backed up her actions with examples from her education in child development. This is not appropriate for discussing dog behaviour. It's useful to consider the way we teach human children language, and how it may be adapted for dogs, but Hunger is not doing that. She is copying and pasting the same principles to her dog with no adjustments, no species-appropriate changes.

A few months ago a fellow trainer brought this book to a trial and took it around to tell people how wonderful it was. I did not really engage because I didn't want to be a hater on someone for absolutely no reason. But reading it now, it alarms me that people without much knowledge about dogs would find this a useful or interesting book, and it especially alarms me that experienced dog people would. Nine chapters in, there is no value here. There is nothing groundbreaking, nothing interesting. I stand by what I wrote the first time I wrote about my disdain for dog buttons: instead of focusing on how to correctly interpret dog communication and behaviour and how to use training to augment our relationship with dogs, this talking dog thing comes in and just crushes all that beneath the weight of a wooden board covered in plastic buttons.

[twenty-words-or-less]

The Zone of Interest

Summary: Rudolph and Hedwig Höss (Christian Freidel and Susanna Hüller) and their five children attempt to build a perfect life in their new home... directly attached to Auschwitz.

This is not a review. At least, not in the usual TWOL style.

I saw this with my partner last night at a one-off screening. I presume that this screening was in part because the director, Jonathan Glazer, is something of a darling in the British film industry, someone who has been working for over twenty years and has dropped four films during that time, all of which have received acclaim. This is no different.

The Zone of Interest marked a first in my adult filmgoing life: I walked out after 45 minutes. Not because it was terrible in quality, but in subject matter. The film focuses on the Höss family, their comings and goings, their friends. You see nothing about what's happening in the camp. You hear gunshots, people screaming, industrial chimneys smoking, dogs barking. Plans for the cremation centres are drawn up and discussed as casually as if they were for a new community centre. The older teenage son studies the teeth taken from Jewish prisoners, gold fillings glinting in the light. Hedwig asks her husband for "chocolate. And any other goodies you can get", and takes great delight in looking at and trying on confiscated clothes. Human remains pour into the river the family are playing and fishing in on a beautiful day, along with what looked like a small skull.

I felt sick and angry at the film's proceedings, and started weeping quietly. It was another five or ten minutes before I left. My partner very kindly offered to come home with me even though they were happy to stay to the end. Even once away from the cinema and watching a couple of films that were significantly lighter in every way, I couldn't shake the film. I could believe that this was Glazer's intention. If it was, it worked.

This isn't - formally - a review. It would be unfair to classify it as such, due to its subject matter and my not watching the whole thing. But it is something I wanted to say.

~ Mikey

[optimisticinternetsoul]

It’s Thursday, Nov 7, 2024

I got frustrated at work, vented to my boss, and he responded by getting the team together so we could all blow off steam for 45 minutes at the end of the day. I think we all needed it more than we realized. I’m so thankful for my coworkers and team.

I found peppermint bark chocolate covered pretzels today. I’ve eaten so many. They are so good. I love them.

I enjoyed the drive listening to music to go pick up groceries. Kiwi came with.

Kiwi was SO excited to see the people at the grocery store. No pets but lots of “good dog!” and cooing so she was pleased.

The moments feel fewer today but I’m calm. It’s nice.

Pulled a tarot card. Asked “what do I need to reflect on?” Deck is Tarot of the Divine.

Five of wands, The Magician, and Ten of Cups all upright jumped at once

Five of wands: I see camaraderie, joy in the hard times, leaning on friends for support, guidance, and learning. There is competition and ego but it doesn’t have to mean the end of relationships.

The Magician: she’s bright, she’s powerful, she’s sure of herself, and she can grant your every wish even if it’s as crazy as turning a pumpkin into a carriage and mice into horses. May not be the star of the show but things can’t move without her support.

Ten of cups: harmony, joining, an understanding that the past doesn’t need to be separate from you to embrace and enjoy and be happy in the future. We can stand on dry land without fully rejecting the deep oceans we come from. But also don’t block the joy you have, that’s yours.

If you practice a lot of tarot and read this, you may disagree with my interpretation and that is okay. I use the images as a guide for what message I need along with the base knowledge of what cards typically represent. I’m also very new to reading which is why it’s just for me. I’m always happy to hear a new interpretation though.

I’m hearing I need to focus less on the drama and trauma of the past and instead focus in more on my own power and the things that are serving me. I don’t need to fight or go back into the waters, so to speak, but the rejection of them may be part of what is holding me back from being truly happy on solid ground.

My dog is practically in my lap while trying to write this. I adore her presence.

[kilosch]

Journal Entry: 10/23/24

Early Morning Struggles: Same routine as yesterday—woke up at 5:30 AM, but this time it felt way worse. I barely got any sleep because my sibling wouldn’t stop blasting music the whole night. I begged my sister to turn it off, but she ignored me. I even abused melatonin, trying to force myself to sleep, but it didn’t work. The night felt like torture, just tossing and turning, fighting for even a little rest.

Drive to the Academy – Overthinking Everything: I pushed through the exhaustion, grabbed my coffee, and drove the 35 minutes to Huntington Beach. On the way, my mind was flooded with anxiety about the PC 832 test on Friday. The pressure to pass is really starting to get to me—I can’t stop overthinking every detail. What if I mess up? What if I fail? These thoughts lingered all the way to the academy.

Morning at the Academy – Meeting Captain Smith: I arrived at the Academy around 6:30 AM, and several classmates were already there, chit-chatting about the course and what to expect for the day. I joined them briefly before heading to the classroom. Inside, I met Ronald Smith, an old, skinny retired captain from Huntington Beach PD. He’d be our instructor for the next two days, covering LD 15 (Laws of Arrest) and LD 16 (Search and Seizure).

Smith started with a quick introduction, explaining his background. Apparently, in addition to his police career, he’s been a Criminology professor for a while. I tried to listen closely, but I could barely hear him since I forgot my hearing aids at home. I found myself relying on reading his lips, which worked okay, but it made the lecture feel more exhausting.

LD 15 and LD 16 – Theoretical Overload: As Smith dove into LD 15 and LD 16, it became clear that theories and concepts were his thing. He was passionate about it, explaining the philosophy behind the laws and how they shape police work. While it was interesting, his lecture didn’t feel practical enough for the upcoming PC 832 exam. The theories were valuable in the long run, but I couldn’t help but feel frustrated—I need to pass this test, not just learn philosophy.

Smith reassured us that these theories wouldn’t appear on the exam but said they’d help us better understand the legal system. I tried to absorb what I could, but it wasn’t clicking the way I hoped.

Afternoon Release – Drive Home & Decompressing: We finished earlier than usual, around 3:45 PM, and I was grateful to leave. The hour-long drive home felt brighter than usual—the sun was obnoxiously bright, making it an annoying trip. Once I got home, I decompressed with a simple lunch of longanisa and rice.

Preparing for My Parents’ Arrival: After eating, I got a text from my brother asking if anyone wanted to carpool with him to LAX to pick up our parents. For a moment, I almost forgot that they were arriving tonight. I declined the offer because I needed time to study. My brother ended up carpooling anyway to use the carpool lane and beat the traffic to LAX.

Meanwhile, I returned to my computer, searching for more study guides to prepare for the next day. I wanted to feel more confident going into Day 3, especially since the test anxiety has been eating at me nonstop.

Evening Thoughts – Missing Work and Coworkers: I found myself missing work and my coworkers—more than I expected. I think the structure of my job gave me something to hold onto mentally, and being away from it feels strange. I’ve grown so attached to that chaotic routine that being without it makes me feel... off.

Hoping for Sleep: As I write this, I’m hoping for decent sleep tonight, though that might be too much to ask. If my sister doesn’t blast music again and the dog doesn’t bark all night, maybe I’ll have a chance to finally rest.

One step at a time—I just need to get through tomorrow, stay focused, and pass PC 832.

[chocmoon-latte]

All of these OC ideas are GOLD. Think you can come up with some stories and or voicelines for them? Especially the fic writer and super mutant comedian, if possible.

You're in luck, because I had actually already started writing down some descriptions for them. They were extremely brief initially, but since you asked, I decided to extend on them and add some quotes, just to get a better feel of the characters.

Ryder Warren - Eccentric raider

Ryder always knew he was destined for great, whatever the definition of it may be. A happy-go-lucky and seemingly sweet guy, it's hard to imagine that he was ever a raider. He initially joined up a local group after coming across a poorly written flyer headlining "raiders wanted" and mistook the word "raider" as a misspelling of his own name. Ryder saw this as a sign of his destiny, thus furthering his own perceived greatness, and he joined immediately.

Ryder is agile, great with close combat weapons, and a skilled technician. There's just one little quirk of his that sets him apart from the rest though - he talks to animals. Not in the "aww, aren't you cute" kinda way either. No. He full on converses with them. You see, Ryder has a very special ability - or so he claims to. He believes he's like an animal psychic of the sorts and that he can translate even the smallest noise from a creature into intelligible language.

Although humorous at first, the schtick got old quickly with the raider gang, who have recently decided to send him out on a "great and epic quest" alone through the wastes.

Quotes:

"People think I take too many chems, but I ain't even seen a chem before! Do you have ANY IDEA what Mr. Mittens would say if such a thing were true?!"

"Hold up! I'm getting an incoming message from this deathclaw. He's saying… oh my god! Why would you say that? That's HORRIBLE!"

"Did you know if a dog jumps up and down three times, spins around and then barks, it's a sign of distress. What do you mean I made that up? That's completely factual!"

"Yeah, I'm on a quest of epic proportions. That's what you get when you're a super cool guy like me."

Ghastly - Edgy ghoul

Ghastly is younger than most ghouls but has still progressed past the average human lifespan. He mostly keeps to himself but can often be found purposefully throwing himself into extreme and dangerous situations in an attempt to get his kicks. More often than not, he's unsatisfied with life. Not because he hates it, but because he's "already seen it all", and according to him "a ghoul gets bored at some point".

So what's a ghoul to do? Ghastly's current interests are set on doing the wildest, most thrilling thing a ghoul can do - go feral. Regardless of what those around him say. In his mind, it's the next step towards killing dullness and the occasional seasonal depression. However, some people have speculated that he's just wanting an excuse to be violent without fully taking the blame for his actions.

Quotes:

"Ryder tried to set me up on a date with a mole rat once. Took me about 45 minutes before I could explain to him why that was a bad idea."

"There's a certain kinda joy you get outta drinking a rat poison, snake venom cocktail that a human just wouldn't understand."

"Every few years, I like to switch up my moral code to keep things interesting. Spice things up, if you will."

"If god's real, then why'd he remove all my sick tattoos in the ghoulfication process?"

Mr. Shady - Suspicious robot

Mr. Shady is a unique Mr. Handy unit that was designed with the task of espionage in mind. His personality is a combination of hundreds of hours of being trained on spy movies, as well as his modified core programming. He spends a lot of his time quite literally hiding amongst the shadows and handing out weird notes to people in secret.

Mr. Shady has a bad habit of giving out veiled threats towards people, regardless of if they're good, bad, young or old. Even if you're on his side and he's on yours, expect regular disturbing messages from him.

Quotes:

"The names Mr. Shady, but my friends call me Shades. Too bad they all died under mysterious circumstances…"

"If you ever feel lonely, just know I'm always watching… with all three eyes."

"No matter how far away you are, I'm always thinking about you and all the unfortunate things that could potentially happen to you in a less than hundred-meter radius while your back is turned."

Humor Bone - Super mutant stand-up comedian

There's two things Humor Bone loves more than anything else in the world - funny jokes and humans dying. So he combined the two in his life long pursuit of happiness, laughter and death. If there is a stage, he is on it every chance he gets.

Humor Bone believes it's his overwhelming charisma and sense of humor that makes him so likable and compels whatever bar or restaurant that is open to let him perform. Reality is though, people are just too afraid of him to say no. Especially when the punchline of the jokes are always about some guy brutally dying. Everyone's too scared to tell him to get off the stage or move him from the premises, so people around him are always stuck listening in horror at whatever kind of joke he comes up with next.

Quotes:

"Why the long face? Just think about humans exploding in the sun! That always makes Humor Bone feel better!"

"Why did the human cross the road..? HE DIDN'T! HE WAS SMASHED BY CAR!!! HAHAHAHA!"

"Humor Bone needs new material, but killing would be bad publicity stunt. Unless…"

Addie Jaxon - Anxious author

Born and raised in NCR territory, Addie left to pursue her lifelong dream of being an author, though she refuses to ever show anyone what she writes unless it's selling material. Rumour has it she went AWOL after a couple of her close friends in the republic came across one of the stories she wrote about a forbidden love between a human and a ghoul and it's haunted her ever since, so much so that she's cut ties from everyone altogether.

She goes by the pen name "AJ" and sells personalized poems and short stories to people on her travels, each of which are beautifully written, but her real passions lie within the sappy love stories she hides in her book underneath her pillow every night.

Quotes:

"Does no one care about art anymore? Or the little things in life? Because I do! Like... a lot."

"Hey, don't touch my books! They're full of REALLY boring stuff. Like uh… science and math homework and… Oh. Right. I'm an adult and I never went to school."

"I wish MY life was like a forbidden, tragic love story! Ok, that's a lie. But hey, in theory I do."

"I really need to put myself out there if I wanna make a living out of what I do, but I'm worried about how many people would be able to trace me back to... that time."

The Codney Brothers - Creepy cowboy duo

Rodney and Todd Codney are identical twin brothers who insist on being together at all times and often speak in riddles, sometimes finishing each other's sentences. A lot of what they say is nonsensical and often has little to no relation to the conversation at hand. What's worse that is their constant unnatural smiles on their faces. What do they know? Do they have something sinister planned? A dark past? Or are they just like that for shits and giggles?

Quotes:

"We're Rod and Todd. The Codney brothers. Just like the cod fish. And a knee. What a peculiar sight."

"What has hands but can't clap?"

"A cowboy rode into town on Friday. Two days later he left on Friday. How odd indeed."

EDIT: Forgot to add in the last pair! I'm so tired today.

[harrison-abbott]

Families ...

His Dad worked for the government and when folks asked him, by the by, here and there, what his family did for a living, he often lied about his father’s profession because he knew that lots of people disliked that particular Party.

His sister earned more than he did and so he often evaded that query, too, since she was younger than he was.

His mother was retired and he had never forgiven her for several times saying to him, “When are you going to get a real job?”

His cousin was a semi famous athlete and when people noticed that he had the same surname they asked him if there was a relationship between them and some times he said yes and others no.

He had a grandmother that had had been a major academic at a ‘top’ university; but he never really knew how to feel about that because he’d only met her once, when he was two: and he’d never gone to college himself so he wasn’t too fussed.

There was a half-brother who had committed suicide (jumped out of a seven storey window one night) of whom nobody in the family spoke about anymore. [The step-mother had never been able to cope with this death and she had left the circles altogether and eventually developed cancer and died at the age of 45.]

And an aunt who had flown off to another country when she was eighteen and had never come back and none even knew if she was still alive.

A second-cousin who had spent a little time in jail. The crime was arson. Of all things. Some of the family spoke about him these days because he was doing better and had apparently reformed his ways.

Oh, and he had a nephew (his sister’s kid) who was determined to become a soccer player and he had gone to watch him play for the school team on Saturdays a few times and the scenes were grim and pitches in atrocious conditions and he really couldn’t see much faith in the boy’s ability at all.

And his brother in law had once insulted him at a party once and nobody else in the room had noticed how much it had offended him and he often wished he could go back in time and slight that man back, and had thought up all of these comebacks he could have said, then, which now only revolved uselessly in his mind.

He’d thought about whether he would ever have his own kids one day and it seemed increasingly likely and he wasn’t sure whether he’d be a good father. Because he remembered his nephew, as a baby, and hadn’t been as stunned and impressed, with the cooing voices and so on, like most folks are with infants. He did not think he had the ability to raise a kid properly. Perhaps most folks aren’t also capable of that, and only think they are. Considering how many murders and atrocities happen across the planet each day: it might be a farce that the majority of people have nurtured their offspring well …

He had a dog who was just a terrific loyal friend and barely ever barked apart from when there was something spooky in the garden.

[littlefirefly42]

Vent

My dog is my best friend. No human can compare. She understands me better than anybody else could. She protects me, comforts me, she sits with me in the backyard on nights when I need to talk to the moon. She knows my soul like it's her own. She's a beautiful dog, with a short tan coat and a sweet black muzzle and the cutest floppy ears and the kindest, happiest eyes. I have never, EVER been afraid of my good girl, even though she's huge and wily. She's not a reactive dog. She has had issues in the past with trying to break through the fence to fight the neighbor's dogs, but it's never been on a whim or for no reason. She's just not that type of girl. She's gentle and kind and playful and she's my best goddamn friend so I don't know what to do right now. Yesterday the neighbor's reactive dogs agitated her to a concerning level. They were tearing a hole in the bottom of the fence and snapping at her. she was growling and snapping back, and I was worried she'd get bit. I kept pulling her away and sending her to her dog house, but it doesn't have a closing door and she kept going back to that same spot, which was unusual for her. She's well trained and usually stays in her house when told too. I have a feeling her agitation contributed to her aggression today. One of my little dogs was sitting on the blankets in front of her house and wouldn't move. My good girl kept barking and growling at her, occasionally jumping around a little and mock-biting, so I took it as playful behavior. Before you come for me, these two play aggressively ALL THE TIME. More than any of my other dogs do, and they growl and bite and bark and it's all in good fun. I was inside, watching them through the sliding glass door, and my good girl noticed. She barked at me, ran to my little dog, mock-bit her scruff, and then barked at me again. She repeated this a few more times, and I took it to mean she wanted me to join their game. That's kind of where it went to shit. I opened the door and my little dog darted towards it. My good girl grabbed her by her scruff (thankfully not hard) and pulled my little dog underneath her. By this point she wasn't just growling, she was full-on snarling, they way she does with the neighbor's dogs. She was crouching over my little dog and shaking her around. I have never seen her so aggressive, it was like something snapped in her. I was genuinely afraid she would kill my little dog and I was unable to do a goddamn thing. My dad was able to deescalate the situation and my little dog was a little shaken but otherwise completely fine, but I was terrified. At first for my little dog and myself, but then for my good girl. I can't keep a dog that's going to attack my other dogs, but shit, she's not a bad dog. My good girl is territorial of her dog house, and my little dog agitated her by getting in front of it and refusing to move. She was already agitated from yesterday. I am not trying to excuse her behavior but she's really the sweetest girl. She scared me half way to hell and not five minutes later, once I was inside, she watched me through the glass door and gave me the look she always gives me when I'm scared, that 45 degree "what's wrong?" head tilt followed by her signature "I'll keep you safe" promising look, with her big warm eyes. I doubt she even knows what she did, all she cares about is protecting me. How can I even begin to conceptualize what we have to do now? I don't even know what we have to do now, I just know that we can't own a big aggressive dog and I can't say goodbye to my best friend.

[againstacecilia]

Before my update, I want to thank everyone who sent me love and support. This has been the hardest two weeks of my life so I'm here to update and just get this all out of my head.

In the original post, I mentioned his appointment being on a Tuesday (April 4th or something like that, time has stopped existing properly). Friday the 31st, we had our normal DnD session and asked everyone to bring Sherm's favorite treats and apologized in advance for any anxiety or barking he might have. I barely remember what happened that night because the sun went down and he was inconsolable. Barking, whining, howling, you name it. He was on every anti-anxiety medication the vet felt comfortable putting him on (they literally called one of them "the good stuff" when I went to pick it up) and he still couldn't calm down. After only a couple of hours we had to ask people to leave early because it was just getting worse.

My husband and I maybe got 45 minutes of sleep that night. Sherman lost all use of his back legs and we were taking him out every half an hour to hold him up while he tried to go to the bathroom. In the span of a few hours, Sherman had gone from mid-level quality of life to the worst I've ever seen in a living creature. We decided that we would need to move the appointment up and end his suffering.

Our vet opened at 8:00am Saturday (April 1st) and my husband was standing outside at 7:58am exhausted and begging for help. The folks at our vet (Palouse Animal Wellness and Surgery Center in Moscow, Idaho) are incredible and helped us out every step of the way. Our normal vet was out for the weekend but the main doctor was there and we scheduled our appointment for 10:00am. Colton (husband) came home and we settled into bed with Sherman for the remaining hours we had.

For the rest of the story to make sense y'all are going to need some context. My college best friend and her boyfriend live in the same duplex as we do and they also loved Sherman. Heather (best friend) was Auntie Heather from day one and Sherman loved her. She was the most important person in any room. At 9:00am, I texted her and told her about the change in plans and invited her and her boyfriend to come to our apartment and spend some time with Sherman. They came over immediately. They asked if we wanted them to come with us to the vet and Colton and I immediately said yes, not realizing how much we were going to need their support. Heather casually mentioned that her parents (who live in the area) were also at the vet with their dog who had been a little sick the day before, so it was another relief to know that our adopted college parents were going to be there.

We live within walking distance of the vet so, when it was time to go, we grabbed Sherman's favorite bed and walked down to the vet. The weather was a strange mix of rain and snow, with some hail thrown in every once in a while, so the walk itself was extra gloomy. But, I held Sherman as tight as I could as we walked into the lobby and were lead to our exam room.

I'll obviously leave the details of what happened out since it was probably the worst day of my life, but, for such a shitty day, the process was peaceful and full of love from the staff. So many tech and staff members came in to give Sherman love and to hug us, tears in their eyes as they told us how much they've enjoyed being able to take care of him over the years. The vet was gentle and compassionate. We got to feed him chocolate right before they administered the medication. He had gotten carrots and peanut butter and ham chunks the night before at our DnD session. And, in the end, he laid his head down as we told him how much we loved him, and went to sleep.

Two moments of this day I'll never forget. One, Sherman was always had a smile on his face but it had been weeks since I had seen him genuinely smile. As the pain meds took over his body, he looked at me and gave me the BIGGEST smile I'd seen in so long. Two, we finally said goodbye and walked out of the exam room into the lobby. Remember how I said the weather was throwing everything it could at us when we were walking there? The moment we stepped into the lobby it filled with bright, warm sun. He used to push his flat little face into the door to get out on the porch when it was sunny out. Our little Sun Pug gave us a little wave on his way to the rainbow bridge.

To be honest, the rest of the day did dip again before it evened out. Heather's parents ended up having to also let their pup go an hour after we said goodbye to Sherman so we sprinted back to the vet to be with them like they were there for us. As we all left the vet they invited us all to their house for dinner, drinks, and much needed community that night.

Whew, holy shit if you've read this far I love you and don't deserve you. It's been over a week now and I still get hit with waves of grief. Grief, anger, confusion, you name it. I still every once in a while think I see him curled up in our blankets or start to plan what I need to go for him when I come home for lunch. Sometimes I'm a little more at peace with it and then I feel guilty for already beginning to heal. I'm trying to be gentle with myself and work through the emotions as they come rather than defaulting to pushing them away. I'm so grateful for the many years we got with him, and I'm beyond thankful for my husband as we've been each other's rocks through this process.

Again, please hug your pets tight. I hope you never have to go through this with your pets but, if you do, please reach out if you have any questions. I've learned a lot from this experience and I'm happy to be a resource or a shoulder to cry on.

Have some of my favorite pictures of my little guy. 💖

EDIT: Mobile isn't letting me add multiple photos, so here's my top favorite photo. 💖

Run free, Sun Pug ☀️

Hey everyone. Back to explain my hiatus again. I'll put it under the cut with a tw for pet loss.

Anyone who has a pet knows that you end up loving them more than it feels possible to love something. 13 years ago, my grandma's dog had a litter of puppies and we kept one for my sister and another one that just ended up bonding with our family and we couldn't let him go. In 2015, I took that little dude to college after I moved off campus and he's been with me and my husband ever since. His name is Sherman.

About 6 months ago, we had to take him to the emergency vet after he temporarily lost use of his back legs. He was diagnosed with something called intervertebral disc disease, fairly common in older dogs. We started him on a medication and a supplement and it worked really well for a while. Then, mid-January, he had his first seizure. It was horrible and fairly traumatic, but he was seizure-free for 2 months after and we hoped it was a one-off thing. Unfortunately, a couple weeks ago he had another one and then a third before we could get him into his vet. We've had him on anti-seizure medications since then. Earlier this year, he also started showing signs of canine cognitive dysfunction (or doggy dementia) and we started a new medication for that as well. We think the last two seizures pushed the doggy dementia further along than it was and, with the seizures under control, his mental struggles have increased exponentially. He's constantly pacing, whining, and barking, and showing a lot of other signs of just being confused and scared. The anti-seizure medication makes it even harder for him to use his back legs which means he's having problems accomplishing daily tasks. His dementia also culminates in something called sundowner syndrome, which means that his nights and days are getting a little flipped and he's constantly stressed and scared at night.

After an extensive talk with his vet, and a lot of tears and soul searching between my husband and me, we've set an appointment to help him over the rainbow bridge this coming Tuesday.

I'm not sure I've ever known grief this strong. For the last 8 years, he's been my constant companion. Without needing to be trained he also stepped into the role of my emotional support animal. Laying on my chest during panic attacks, waking me up out of nightmares, and being a soothing presence while I worked through whatever traumas I was ready to face, he also kept me company during the summers that my husband was across the country coaching at a summer camp in Maine. I keep trying to rationalize that there are still some bright spots and worrying that we're doing this too early. But I look into his eyes and there's none of the life there that you used to be. He's still existing, yes, he's still eating and drinking and every once in awhile will cuddle with me on the couch after work, but he isn't living. He can't go on walks anymore, we can't take him on trips to his favorite places or to see his favorite people because his body can't handle long stretches in the car.

I'm beyond heartbroken. I haven't known an adult life without this little guy and I'm terrified of the first day I get home from work and the house is silent. I'm dreading the moment he closes his eyes and I know they'll never open again. And I don't think, even in my most hormonal teenage years, that I've cried so much so many days in a row. I know we're doing the best for him. I know this is the biggest act of love we could provide for him and he deserves to not be scared or in pain anymore. I just wish we had a couple more years with him. Even just a couple more days of the happy pup that he used to be. But, young or old, I'll love him forever and I want to make sure that he doesn't suffer any longer than he already has.

I'll be back. I know I've been gone for so long at this point already but I will be back. If you have pets, please hug them so close for me. Please love them with everything you have because whether you have them for a year or 13 years, it's never enough. I'm so lucky to have had this perfect dog and to have been unconditionally loved by something- someone- so loving and pure. If you pray, or believe in some sort of vibes, please send them to me and to Sherman. Please wish him safe journeys over the rainbow bridge.

Love y'all. 💖

[littlegodzilla]

Her stories are incredible and I know that only you could do justice to that request: In season 11, The Reader is Rick's foster daughter and Daryl decides to take her to the Commowealth (as he did with her brothers Judith and RJ), but he realizes he's in love with her and a smut with dirty talk ensues. (Perhaps the reader may be in their 20s).

Hi Anon! Thanks for your words they mean a lot to me!

Thanks for your request! I hope you like it!

All ends here.

Anon request.

Daryl Dixon(45) x DaughterRickReader(29).

Warning: Fighting. Confessions. Smut. Dirty talk.

Words: 5300.

Taglist: @phoenixblack89 @browneyes528 @pncnsc @lilythemadqueen @darylsgarden @srhxpci @xxtinasxxblog @hail-yourselves @autocon23

Daryl once again checks the convoy that will carry the new materials and supplies to Alexandria the next morning, he doesn't want anything to be missing, an oversight no matter how small could be crucial. He chews his lip repeatedly as his fingers drum on the car's sheet metal before closing the load and nodding, satisfied with his review.

It's all correct.

Since the Commonwealth arrived in Alexandria that day guided by Eugene the doubts and nervousness with the new community has continued in the minds of the group, they aren't bad people, not at least as far as they have found out, but their method of proceeding is somewhat primitive and classist, as in the previous world, nevertheless they are behaving very well with Alexandria and Daryl is grateful for that.

In the end it is temporary, when they get the community back to what it was, they will leave that place to return to their true home.

He opens the door of the house carefully while he loads the dinner for that day, he is not yet good at cooking in the small apartment and his tenants have already made him understand that his culinary skills are not as good as he thinks. He closes it so as not to make too much noise, but immediately Dog barks upon detecting his presence and two small heads peek out of the hallway.

"Uncle Daryl!" Judith and RJ shout at the same time making the man smile.

He walks over to them showing them what he's bringing and they immediately set about preparing the table for dinner. It's not something Daryl taught them, that's what their parents really took care of. They may not have known the world before and the things they have seen in this community may surprise them, but they are good kids who know what to do, day to day life has taught them how to defend themselves and survive and Daryl I think they haven't done too bad.

"Was a little late and there wasn't much to choose from." He says dishing out what he has brought on several plates and leaves some for Dog placing it on the floor.

"It's okay, you worked late today." Judith comments and he nods.

"I was checking tomorrow's supplies, I ain't wanna there to be any shortages."

"Are you going to Alexandria tomorrow?" asks RJ with his mouth full and Judith shoots him a warning look making him swallow his food. "Sorry..." He whispers and Daryl smiles warmly.

"Yeah, we're leavin' tomorrow, I'll be gone for a few days, so I wanna you two listen to Carol 'bout everythin' she tells ya, okay?"

"Yes, Uncle Daryl." They say at the same time and the archer feels the words don't sound very sincere.

"Are you going to see her?" Judith then asks and at the sound of your name Daryl feels like he's choking on his dinner.

Daryl met you at the Atlanta camp, always with Lori, Shane and Carl, they were your family although to him you always seemed too old to be Carl's sister, but he never said anything, it wasn't something he really cared about, he was more busy trying to survive and take care that Merle didn't get into stupid trouble to waste time with a girl. After a while Rick would tell him that you were his adopted daughter, that he took you out of a house full of abuse and violence, that Lori had raised you as her own daughter and you took care of Carl along with Lori. Knowing that got his attention and mentally he was glad that someone had been able to run away from that life, sometimes he wondered what would have happened if someone had done the same with Merle and him.

It wasn't until all the group got to the prison that he realized you were different, you weren't a child to protect, Rick had kept you under his wing all that time, but Shane had taught you to stand up for yourself when Lori wasn't looking. When you escaped the farm, you ran after cars until Daryl came back for you on his bike after getting Carol to safety. You were scared to death and hugged Daryl's waist so tightly that the man feared he was running out of air. But that panic changed when Lori left you and Rick lost his mind from the pain. Daryl took over to help Judith, you stayed behind to watch his back inside the prison, while Hershel recovered you had to make sure the baby was okay, that the dead were still behind the fence and Carl had to be taken care of. Despite the pain you had a role to play.

"Ya take care of Carl and Judith, we'll take care of the rest." Daryl told you one day and you shook your head.

"No, I know how to shoot, I know how to fight, I'm going to defend this place too."

You refused to follow his orders and proved you knew how to use a rifle. Daryl remembers when he left with Merle, his decision to go back to his brother because he was his family, because it was the logical thing to do. Of course he regretted it, he still remembers your relieved face when he went back to the prison with Merle.

In fact you always had that look of relief when he came back, no matter when it was, at the Greene farm, at the prison, when you met again at Terminus or in Alexandria, whenever he let his head out the front door, you always seemed to sigh and smile between relieved and happy.

"She likes you, Daryl." Carol told you once and the hunter tensed like a string. "She admires you, she respects you, it's obvious she's fond of you."

"She sees me as a friend, or as a substitute to Rick, nothin' more."

"You think so?"

That conversation with Carol always comes back to his mind when he thinks of you. On whether it will be true or she just thinks that so she doesn't have to think about the possibility of her friend. He doubts very much that you have those kinds of feelings for him, as much as he liked you you think you did. You weren't a girl anymore, you were grown up, you were a woman and even though Daryl knew that Rick could kill him if it was known what he thought about when he saw you, Daryl had realized for a while now that he had feelings for you. Something deeper than friendship or seeing you as his best friend's daughter.

"Daryl?" Judith's voice brings him back to reality again. He shakes his head and looks at her seeing the girl smiling mischievously. "You've been gawking at her." She laughs softly. "Daryl likes...!"

"Hey stop it." He stops her as she starts to hum feeling her cheeks burn. "Since when did ya become such a gossip?"

"Aunt Carol told me." She confesses innocently and Daryl snorts.

"Carol has a very long tongue..."

The two kids laugh, they love to get on Daryl's nerves, they don't mean it maliciously and the man never really gets mad because they're kids.

The next day Daryl returns to secure the supply crates before leaving, it's not yet dawn, the road is long and it's best to leave as soon as possible. Mercer gestures to him, Daryl nods closing the last load.

"Uncle Daryl!" He hears Judith's voice and he turns, the girl runs to him with an envelope in her hand. "Can you give this to my sister when you see her?"

"Sure, don't worry." He smiles taking the envelope to put it away.

"And this too." She reaches over and kisses the soldier's cheek.

"Okay..." He whispers biting his lip and ruffles her hair affectionately. "Be good and don't make Aunt Carol mad, promise?"

Judith nods her head making a cross on her chest. Daryl smiles amused and walks away returning to the position with the rest of the soldiers to head towards Alexadria. The road is long, along the way they encounter several Walkers that they get rid of easily, Daryl and Rosita are the ones who take care of them while the rest of the platoon defend the vans. They arrive in Alexandria in the afternoon, the sun is lower but there are still a few hours of daylight left. The community gates open, Aaron and Jerry are already waiting for them and hug their friends as soon as they walk through the gates.

"It's good to see you." Aaron whispers giving him a few gentle taps on the back.

"Me too, how is everythin' here?" he asks separating from his friend and Aaron smiles.

"All good, we've had some unwanted guest but since the soldiers are here everything is easier."

"I'm glad." He nods and taps him on the shoulder. "Can ya give me a hand? We've brought more things for the people and to help repair what's missing."

"Leave it to us, go for a walk or show this to the soldiers."

"Fine, I'll take some boxes with fruit and leave them at the main house."

"Great, by the way Maggie and the girls are here too."

Dixon looks at his friend curiously, but the man with the iron hand doesn't add anything else heading to the convoys to get the stuff out and help the soldiers, Jerry gives him a friendly slap on the back and Daryl snorts leaving to find you all.

On the way many people greet him and ask him what the Commonwealth is like, some are still hesitant and others are starting to get curious. Daryl knows that if everyone saw the commonwealth many would stay forever, and he wouldn't object, the Commonwealth is a safe and well stocked place, but Alexandria is their home and to leave it forever, some people just can't conceive of it.

You are one of them.

In the distance, raising one of the walls with the help of the soldiers and Lydia, Daryl spots you, he's convinced that the Commonwealth men must have asked you to step aside to let them work alone, but you're stubborn as a mule and there you are, helping with the repairs. Lydia sees him first and gives you a gentle touch, a barely imperceptible gesture, but Daryl sees it and frowns at her. You lift your head like a spring looking in his direction, Daryl smiles very softly, almost sheepishly and you respond with a wide grin, the soldier gives you the order that you can let go of the piece and you walk away to go to the archer. You open your arms as you walk towards him at a light, eager trot. At that moment he realizes you are carrying the crossbow on your back and something stirs inside him.

When Eugene arrived with all the Commonwealth people Daryl decided to go with them to find out what was so special about them, if they could trust them, he also did it for Judith and RJ they deserved to know something better, they deserved to be able to live without the anguish of not knowing if they were going to eat or if they were going to be eaten.

"I'm staying here." You told him in a secluded area. "Not everyone is leaving and I'm not going to leave them alone in our house." You tell him as you squeeze his hands tightly. "Besides Maggie is staying and she isn't going to accept their help, we both know that, so I'll stay with her..."

"That's fine, but your brothers need you too."

"Those kids are made for this world, Daryl, and you know it, plus they have you, they'll never be safer than being with you." You smile and you can see the hunter blush a little.

"'Kay..." He breaks off and removes the crossbow from his back. "Take good care of her."

"D-Daryl, I don't..." You stammer, not daring to actually take it, but he relinquishes it to you.

"It ain't much different than a bow and Shane taught ya how to shoot, so ya'll be able to defend yerself with it. We already know what happens every time we come to a community and I'm ain't gonna let them take it away from me again. She'll be better off with ya."

"I'll take care of her until you get back." You promise him and Daryl nods his head.

Daryl feels his chest tighten, but he reaches out his arms as you reach his position and wraps you in a nice hug, your face hiding against his chest and you hug him tightly feeling Daryl stroke your hair lovingly as he pulls you tightly against him. He missed you, he'd hate to admit it, but it's how he feels.

"You're back." You say and pull away a little though without letting go of him completely.

"Y'know I was comin' back, how did it go around here?"

"Quiet, some Walkers, but the wall is holding up better and better and in here things are looking up too. People are in high spirits."

Daryl nods in relief and hugs Lydia, the gesture is full of affection too, but it's softer, more lax and lasts less. Lydia returns to the Convoys to help with the crates as you and Daryl walk around the community seeing the progress that has been made.

"What's the Commonwealth like?" You ask, looking sideways at him.

"Nice, sometimes maybe too much, it doesn't seem real, but we're adjustin', y'know, ain't lettin' our guard down."

"Yeah... Judith and RJ?"

"They like it, they'd like to stay, they're meeting a lot of kids and they even seem to like the school." Daryl laughs in amusement at the look of horror on your face. "It's different than anything they've ever known."

"I know, I'm so happy for them."

"They miss ya." Daryl pauses and you avert your gaze, it's obvious you're hurting to be away from your family too. Daryl digs in his pocket to hand you Judith's letter. "It was given to me by yer sister for ya."

"Have you read it?" You look at him curiously, but without opening the envelope.

"Of course not." He snorts in offense. "Ya could come see them, a few days...it'll be good for them and ya get to know the community..."

"I can't leave, Daryl, I'm helping Maggie at Hilltop, Aaron needs help here too..."

"It'll only be a few days, they can manage without ya, y'know that." He insists a bit and bites his lip several times. "They're gonna... have a Halloween party... I think it would be fun..." He stammers and looks sideways at you, your eyes widen.

"Are you asking me out on a date?" you joke and Daryl opens his mouth to defend himself.

"Dixon." You hear, Mercer walks up to you. "They're raising the mill, give me a hand."

"Sure, I'll be right there." He gives you one last look, but eventually walks away.

Your smile doesn't diminish, however, because you notice that his cheeks and ears have taken on a reddish color as he ran away from you. You absentmindedly open your letter and read the lines your sister has written, you can't help yourself and let out a long laugh before putting it away and getting to work again.

It's been a couple of days since Daryl and the soldiers have arrived in Alexandria, they've been hard at work repairing some houses, putting in new solar panels and making sure the garden is getting good water from the mill now that you've got it working. Mercer approaches Daryl getting his attention.

"Soldier, it's time to go home Commonwealth."

"Okay, I'll be right there, I'm gonna say goodbye." He says seeing the platoon captain nod his head.

Daryl says goodbye to Aaron, Jerry, Lydia, he has a few words with Maggie to make sure everything is in order, he knows his friend has other plans than the Commonwealth, but Daryl trusts her, he knows she's doing it for her people, for the calm and quiet they need, so he just asks her to be careful and not do anything crazy. Maggie smiles warmly and they hug.

"Hey, don't forget about me." Daryl hears you and turns around, you're carrying a small pouch with you on your back and several weapons on your belt. "I'm coming with you."

Daryl smiles complacently, he walks over to help you with the bag leaving it on one of the convoys.

"Yer brothers are gonna be glad to see ya."

"Get in one of the vans." Mercer offers. "You'll be more comfortable."

"No, I'll walk with Daryl, if you don't mind, Captain." You joke but at the same time you're serious.

Mercer looks at you one and then the other, Daryl doesn't say anything, just shrugs as you adjust your belt with your weapons. The man nods and returns to the head of the formation, you give Daryl a gentle punch on the arm and follow the others back to the Commonwealth. Daryl fills you in on the dynamics of the community as you go along, there are some rules and regulations to keep in mind, which you understand as with so many people it could turn into real chaos if there wasn't some enforced order.

Along the way you prove to the Commonwealth men that you are not a damsel in distress by being one of the group of soldiers. When you arrive at the community you realize that the place is huge, it surprises you, but at the same time it excites you, you are sure that the people there are happy. You go through what looks like an interview, they want to know how things are going in Alexandria and what your role is there. They want to get to know you better to give you a position in the community, but of course you have no intention of staying, you don't say so, you don't want to cause problems for Daryl.

When the soldier takes you to his new house where he lives with your siblings, Judith and RJ run after you with open arms, Carol appears soon after behind her and you hug her with all your strength. That woman has been like your second mother and you miss her very much. You tell them how things are going, the repairs in Alexandria and Hilltop, you tell them about Maggie and Hershel. You eat at Dixon's house some things Carol has prepared even with your little brothers bombarding you with questions.

"Carol." You call out to the woman who stops before leaving Daryl's house. "Can I ask you something? Tomorrow is the Halloween party and I'd like to buy myself something..." You look sideways at her, she seems to hesitate for a second, but then smiles understanding what you are asking and nods giving you a gentle squeeze on the arm.

"I'll take care of it and take the kids home."

"Thank you..." You smile feeling yourself blush.

The next day you spend it again with Daryl and your brothers, he shows you the whole fair, everything they have set up for the kids and the not so kids to have fun. The house of terror scares RJ a little bit, but you have to admit that they have made an effort to make a very good recreation. The kids have dressed up in costumes, they play apple picking, they get candy, the atmosphere is nice and it almost feels like the world hasn't gone to shit. You really understand why they prefer to stay there, but still, Alexandria is your home, you can't leave it.

It is evening, your brothers have gone to Carol's house, you have gone with Daryl to the party that has been prepared. Carol has found you a nice dress that you wear with pride, some classmates work at the party, but you don't like to see them being less appreciated by the people who are there, you still hate class differences, they are stupid and unnecessary and even more in this new world.

You can't deny that despite everything you had fun, you talked to people you didn't know at all, you got to see other of your classmates and you met new people, like Princess, you danced with Daryl. With Daryl. Your heart beats violently in your chest still remembering the archer's hands on your waist as the music played soft and pleasant. Daryl has been very kind and even though he is a "don't dance" man he has agreed to make the effort, the two of you have danced awkwardly, but you don't care, it has been important to you and it has meant a lot. You feel brave, you think things have changed with Daryl and you feel you can take the next step.

You're walking home, it's the first time you've gone to bed so late without coming back from a watch, Daryl walks beside you and you have to admit he looks very handsome in that all black suit, you're not sure where he left his vest and dirty pants, but you like that look too. You bite your lip and move a little closer daring to take his hand, intertwining your fingers. Daryl looks at you, but doesn't say anything, he tightens your grip a little and your heart beats that much faster.

Maybe you have a chance.

You are in the building where the soldier now lives with your brothers, you walk silently down the long hallway, your hands still clasped together, but neither of you has said anything yet. In your ears you keep hearing the strong beating of your heart and you feel that with every step you get closer to the house, your chances of confessing at last, disappear. Then you stop, Daryl imitates you almost at the same time looking at you curiously, you let go of his hand and move completely closer to him, you stand on tiptoe and let your lips rest on his.

Of course, Daryl panics, as soon as he feels your lips against his he feels something clench and explode in his stomach. Nervousness overcomes him and perhaps he is more abrupt than he intends to be when he pulls away from you. He isn't angry, not upset that you kissed him. He is afraid. Because his feelings for you make more sense now. You reciprocate even though he hasn't confessed, but... What if he doesn't deserve you? What if he only succeeds in hurting you? What would Rick think of him? He's immersed in his thoughts and doesn't see how your face changes from surprise to anger, how your fists clench in fury. He only raises his head when he hears you snap in exasperation.

"You know what? I'm done." You say angrily.

"What?"

"I've gotten tired of waiting, Daryl...I've been patiently waiting for many years for you to realize how I feel about you." Your voice sounds strangled, your eyes fill with tears that frustrate you even more. You don't want to cry. You had accepted this a long time ago. But you can't help that it hurts all the same. "I always thought you didn't approach me because of my age, out of respect for Rick, but you know...I'm not a child anymore. I stopped being one a long time ago, but you keep pushing me aside."

"I ain't..."

"You've never been able to look at me as a woman, I've always been just another soldier, just another target to protect, because that's your duty." You roughly wipe a tear from your cheek and Daryl's breathing becomes heavy, he doesn't want to see you cry. "So I give up, you don't have to worry about me anymore. Stay in the Commonwealth, take care of Judith and RJ they really need you, I'll come see them, they are my family, but Alexandria is my home and they need me too." You sniffle hard through your nose and smile sadly. "It all ends here, Dixon, next time we meet, we'll just be buddies, neighbors between communities. Be happy." You tell him and you're ready to leave, you don't care about going in that dress yet, but you can't go into that house now, you'll go back to Alexandria and get on with your life.

"No..."

You barely hear him, you feel his hand close tightly on your wrist before he slams your body against the hallway wall and kisses you intensely. For a second you struggle, you're angry and heartbroken, now you don't give a shit about his kisses, the only thing you want now is to get the hell out of there and forget him. Or at least try to. Daryl holds your cheeks and his kiss intensifies, his tongue making its way into your mouth makes you weak and your knees tremble. His hands move down to your waist, his fingers caressing your body above the fabric of your dress, your skin crawls with goose bumps. You gasp against his mouth and when he senses you're not going to fight anymore, he pulls away.

His gaze is intense, his pupils dilated, the blue of his eyes has turned electric dark, for a second you're scared, but your anger hasn't completely evaporated so if he's going to argue with you, you're ready to hit back. Your heart is already broken, you don't mind shattering it into a thousand more little pieces.

"Yer wrong." He speaks up at last. "You've never been a target. You've always been a woman to me, that was the fucking problem." He growls, but doesn't pull away. "At first we all took care of our asses, we were partners, but then..." He licks his lips because he knows it's going to bring back painful memories. "When Lori died... you changed and that made me realize that... you were different..." It's a confession, in his own way, in his words, but it is. He's screaming for you to stay, to not hate him, but he doesn't know how to do any better.

"You walked away... for five years... you left me and..." Tears return to your eyes, Daryl hugs you and rocks you in his arms.

"I felt like I had failed you...that we had lost Rick because of me...I needed...I don't know." He whispers because he doesn't really know how to excuse himself, he always felt he needed to get Rick's body back, to bring him home, but who was he really doing it for? For you? Or to feel better about himself?

"Daryl..." You look up at him and he caresses your cheeks as your gazes connect again.

"I need ya..." He confesses at last. "Not just for Judith and RJ, I need ya with me..."

Your heart beats with extreme violence and the little pieces begin to come together again.

Your bodies meet naked on Daryl's bed, his lips run down your neck as his hands roam all over your body, you gasp and wrap your arms around him, your nails dig into his shoulders, you caress his chest slowly moving down to his cock that stands hard and waiting. You can't help but stare and your cheeks redden as your fingers close around his length and you begin to pump slowly listening to him hissing, his mouth seeks yours again kissing you more intensely, more desperately. You let go of his cock to rest on his shoulders and push him down to lie on the bed and position yourself on top of him. Daryl takes a deep breath in as he licks his lips, before him is the sight of your pussy, wet, glistening, craving attention. The archer's hands rest on your thighs, massaging your skin slowly moving up, he caresses your ass and moves them back down to your core, his thumb touches your folds feeling his finger moisten with your juice, he spreads your lips apart watching your entrance contract against nothing. A grunt escapes his mouth as he feels your lips close over his cock and you begin to lick and suck his length encompassing inside your mouth as much as possible. Daryl lifts his hips slightly moving in time with your mouth, his thumb continues to spread your lower lips apart and he brings one hand to his mouth sucking his own fingers before stroking your clit making you moan around his cock getting the vibration of your voice to travel all the way to his balls exciting him even more. His fingers enter your cunt and he starts to move them in and out. You suck and lick his cock faster as his fingers also take on a faster rhythm inside you, both of you feeling everything intensify. But Daryl feels on edge, he pulls his fingers out and stops you, he pulls you away from his crotch and sits up laying you down next to him, Daryl lies on top of you, his cock rubbing between your buttocks and you bite your lip lifting your ass up.

"Since when did ya get so dirty?" He speaks in your ear while still moving his hips against you.

"It's your fault... For making me wait so long..." You protest and he snorts in amusement, biting your ear.

"Turn around, I wanna watch ya while I fuck ya, I ain't wanna miss anything."

You move under his body desperately, Daryl pulls away just enough to let you turn around. He grabs your legs and places them over his shoulders, his gaze fixed on you, his cock moving between your thighs, rubbing against your skin watching you bite your lip desperately wanting him to finally fuck you.

"Who's the dirty one now?" you purr and bring one of your hands to your clit touching yourself, teasing him.

Daryl feels his mouth go dry at the image, moving your fingers making circles over your clit at the same time with your other hand squeezing one of your nipples to intensify your own pleasure. He watches you intently as you enjoy your own attentions. He spreads your legs a little further apart and his cock presses against your entrance in one thrust. A long moan escapes your mouth, your hands leave your body to brace yourself against the sheets feeling him slowly pull back out and thrust hard inside you again. Daryl likes to watch his cock thrust in and out of you, he could enjoy that sight all the time, but there is urgency and need on your face and he can't deny you. He places your legs around his waist and lies down on top of you, your mouths meet once more before Daryl starts moving again, faster, deeper.

"Oh fuck, Daryl!" you moan hugging his body.

"Yes, girl, fuck." He grunts without stopping moving.

Everything becomes more intense, deeper and more pleasurable, both of you moving at the same pace, the orgasm reaching you faster and faster. You throw your head back moaning loudly his name, your nails scratch his back and Daryl curses one last time before spilling inside you with a choking moan. Your legs tremble as Daryl falls on top of you, trying not to take his full weight on you, hiding his face in the crook of your neck.

You both need a moment to recover, lying next to each other, your gazes glued to the ceiling of the room. You are nervous, you really meant what you yelled at him, Alexandria was your home, you wanted to go back, but you don't want to leave him there, you don't want to get away from your brothers, you want to go back all together.

"We ain't stayin' here, it's temporary." You hear Daryl's voice next to you. "Yer brothers need safety and to live in peace, I'm ain't gonna expose them until Alexandria is safe..."

"I understand... and I know they are happy here..."

"I wanna ya to stay." He says again and catches your attention, your eyes meet and you see him tug at his beard hair with his teeth. "I wanna ya stay with me, here, until Alexandria is safe again. Not for them, for us... I ain't wanna leave ya again..." His voice sounds soft and shy and you can't help but smile with emotion, you know those words are hard for him to say. You nod your head moving closer to him, kissing him slowly, caressing his cheek.

"I'll stay with you... and we'll go back to Alexandria together."

The End...

I hope you liked it!

Ser you in the next stories!!

[see-arcane]

Barking Harker Cast Snapshot 7: A Vile Thing

“But I am in hopes that I shall see more of you at Castle Dracula." 

The last I saw of Count Dracula was his kissing his hand to me; with a red light of triumph in his eyes, and with a smile that Judas in hell might be proud of. –Dracula, Jonathan Harker, Dracula

He has died before. He could not be what he is otherwise.

Supposedly he died in winter. December? January? No one can say. He was 45. Perhaps.

He died from an attack by his own men, mistaking him for a Turk while he was in disguise. Or else he was assassinated outright.

He was buried whole. Or he was divvied into pieces for the sake of his enemies’ trophy. Or his body was never recovered.

If it was, the corpse was five and a half feet high. One with a close enough face to count. There were no sightings of the Son of the Dragon after that winter. It must have been him. Near enough to him.

The most important moments in history are not always put to record. Certainly not the records he would demand be made. That great bloody swill of half-truths and lies and myths truer than death. He was a horror. He was a hero. He was a madman. He was a monster. All this will be recorded.

No one will ever write that he was not present at the time and place of his death in the eyes of living men.

No. No, no, no.

He died underground—the price and parting gift of a hard lesson from inhuman tutors.

He has died more than once since. Heart pierced, head lopped. Sacred silver and holy water and prayer and poison all have had their turns with him in more than one land in his wandering time before he made a cage of his castle. Why not? There is an infinity of time to burn and power to spare.

Why not let them see the rot and elemental dust of him fly away, so serene at losing the chore of his walking corpse, so patient? All those wan sheep’s faces staring down at him. Relieved. So convinced they were not sheep, but shepherd dogs. Years would pass. Dust would harden back into cold flesh and colder hunger. Again, again.

It would have been such fun to have the Englishmen follow their Wafer-slinging Pied Piper, all falling on him to slay the monster and save the maiden. He would die. He would wait. As he was always happy to wait. For years and lives and wives and children to happen. Happiness at its peak. Then…

But no. Something timelier is necessary. It would be such a pain to herd his good friend back into place again. He is already in such fine shape. Neither sheep nor shepherd, but a far more precious breed. Better not to waste time on letting him grow soft.

Ah, well.

It seems unlife must go on. As must the work before them. He will just have to savor every moment. This he will do in fine company.

Won’t he, friend?

Barking Harker details here: