#havent eaten enough
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Non-request stuff! Its difficult for me to articulate when im struggling/spell out my issue so i thought emojis might help! Feel free to request similar
#emoji#discord emoji#word emoji#wordmoji#color: purple#wont eat#cant eat#havent eaten#havent eaten enough#havent eaten yet#need motivation#convince me please#need convincing
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custom slingshot avatar i made for myselff, :3
#phighting#phighting!#phighting roblox#roblox phighting#slingshot phighting#slingshot fanart#slingshot#:3#lowkey want to make catshot...#wholly depends if i am motivated enough#for now default slingshot will suffice!!!#i love this So much . i havent eaten my chips yet coz i was busy drawing this LOL#personal use for me only!!! im not sure if im okay with sharing These types of drawings yet!!#me when i make horns the most detailed
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fanfiction does wonderful things for my mental health and awful awful things for my physical health
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🎶 they tried to make me go to rehab and i said PLEASE PLEASE HOLY FUCK I FEEL SO BAD WILL NOBODY HELP ME I CANT STOP WHY DOESNT ANYBODY NOTICE HOW BAD IT IS PLEASE HELP
#IM SUCH A LIGHTWEIGJT NOW AND I FEEL SO STUPID I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE IM FINE I CAN HANDLE IT WHAT'S ONE BEER YOU CAN DO IT YOU LIKE BEER#AND I HAVENT HAD WATER OR EATEN ALL DAY AND IM LIKE WHEEEE I KEPT MY TAB OPEN (DUMBASS) ORDER A SECONS#even a second is too much#i cant stop#like actually i dont know what to do bc i know even if i went to rehab WHICH I CANT AFFORD AND NONE OF MY FAMILY WILL HELP i just would#return to the same shit bc no matter how sober i get i cant stop bc that's how fucking addiction works#and im too scared to tell anyone i actually need help#the people who know i need help are just judging me and watching me fall into this fucking pit#i dont know what to do#im just gonna pass out drunk now#i hate feeling like this it's so fucking humiliating#i dont even like it#and im admitting defeat to WHAT? A LITTLE GLASS OF JUICE? YOURE KIDDING ME#prolific linguistics researcher and author cant stop.. why do we always treat academics like we're the pinnacle of society#im fucking awful man im a schizophrenic with an addiction problem#but im so much more than that! anyone who knows me knows that! but i cant stop#i want to stop#and im trying and then every few months I think ive tried enough and i expect it to go away but that's how the cravings trick you#fuck this man#drugs tw#sobriety update#lessons of the hand and the mouth
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Really feeling that post abt how yearning and loneliness is great until you're curled up on your bed whimpering at the ache in your chest like a wounded dog. are we cooked chat.
#in the words of dad rock icons shinedown: ITS 4AM AND I CANT SLEEP#why am i haunted by things. things of the past and of the present#is it missing people who stopped thinking about me long before i stopped thinking about them?#who in the daylight hours i can disdain and scoff at but at night i can admit i miss the ease with which we once existed?#i wonder how they're doing now. i see their updates from a distance things i would have once celebrated alongside them#im happy for them. it shadows me. im happy i know theyre well. i wish i never heard of it#or is it the overthinking of the now? is it because of the past?#is everyone doomed to be ghosts. is there beauty in that#is it anxiety to feel so out of place in places and people that felt. feel. like home#do i know what home is meant to feel like? to miss? i suppose ill find out soon.#is it just because of the fact its 4am? is this just the fact i havent eaten much recently. am i not exercising enough or drinking enough.#how can i stop the loneliness that never seems to go away before i become a ghost haunting my own life#OR is it all just bc i read a really bittersweet and haunting fanfic that ruined me#haha gotcha im actually big chillin and sad abt fictional lil guys (said very unconvincingly)
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you stupid bitchYOU STAYED UP AN ENTIRE NIGHT AND BUILT AN ENTIRE HOUSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
#jazzrejuv#havent eaten anything in two days#fought like 12 guys#i can not emphasize ENOUGH how much this guy built an entire HOUSE#like brooooooooooooooooo#hes soooo. whatever#straight up just like aelita
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queue running low. so is motivation. but i love you and i hope we all eat well i made patty melts and animal style fries while the pink sauce makes it look veryr upsetting it does taste very good and this was my first time caramelizing onions without cheating so if u think about it that way it's been a very big day. i forgot to take pics bc my brother started shovelling things in his mouth at a very fast pace and i had to keep up. american food is good. i used cheddar instead of american cheese bc we dont have any near me but next time im willing to inch closer to a heart attack via patty melt i will source some. also im making cheong (strobbry :))) today or tomorrow whenever the kitchen frees up basically. sorry to everyone i owe letters to. also i swim again tomorrow hopefully i can do a """normal""" amount of laps but ive been constantly in pain the past week so we'll see. if you've made it this long i love you more than the rest shh dont tell them. anyways how was your day
#been feeling extra paranoid and like a bad person and guilty and ashamed and angry angry angry. it will pass soon i just need to settle i#think. i miss oreo. ive eaten too much cereal and not enough vegetables and the patty melts havent helped although i did horf down a fuckton#of french beans and carrots today. i hope my first ever cheong doesnt mold or anything. i wanna try fermentation but it seems scary and i#havent ever even made sourdough so we're starting with nonfermented syrups and working our way up. i hope to make my mom a gingerbug#goodnight mwah
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eating only 3 chocolate chip cookies a day for a week is good and healthy actually ^-^ <- coping with not being able to afford food
#ive eaten a little more a few daya#days#but im so. so. tired. of being hungry to the point of tears CONSTANTLY#and no matter how many times i explain what foods i can and cant eat my mom ONLY buys stuff i cant eat#so i either eat. and get sick. or dont eat. and stay hungry.#but i only make $400 a month and once my bills and stuff are payed...im left with~50 a month. for the whole month. to buy food.#and i dont like. have my own fridge in my room so i cant buy anything refrigerated/frozen#so i have started a stash of rice and canned fish in my room#but im down to only one can of fish left...#wait no i guess i have like. $100 a month. but thats not just for food like i also have to buy like...toothbrush and deoderabt and shit#and i also am still trying to get to where i can buy some clothes so i have more than 3 pairs of underwear#and one pair of jeans#and i still havent been able to save up enough to replace my headset in like. a year and a half.
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Funniest thing about lifelong ARFID is having no idea how foods are eaten or prepared. Today I learned people don't just bite into tomatoes like they do with apples for some reason
#personal#arfid#avoidant restrictive food intake disorder#like i genuinely have no clue how ppl eat things#aside from foods u often see in fiction like pizza or apples. outside that i am completely clueless#why cant u just bite into cheese like u do w apples?? is it just a social thing or is there some difference in their#textures or tastes?? fuck if i know!#i also dont understand what sour or sweet or such means bc i havent eaten enough diverse foods#to know the differences#for all i know pineapple and mangoes could taste the same!
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it is so pathetic and sad but very funny if u ignore the patheticity, but I'm like. so tired. body is exhausted from the cleaning. but i desperately want to draw. so i'd like to thank the inventor of neck pillows for giving me something that will allow me to sit up just enough to draw while still mostly resting 🙏
#it is probably not very good for me but. i want to draw DBFJDKL#idk why im so weak and shaky today. wait. wait. wait. i hope its not the a.dhd med. uhm. hmmm#I'll. do some searching. uh oh LOL#i have r.italin from last year and the c.oncerta hasnt been working so i decided to skip the latter and just take the former#just to try it again#and it worked so well for focus but like. ermmm.... i MIGHT just be rly tired though#this will require more experimenting....#and some research LOL#i have until friday afternoon at which point I'll have my psych appt and will need to know what to ask for djdjkdl#pippen needs 2nd breakfast#OKAY RETURNING TO SAY I THINK IM GOOD IM PROBABLY JUST TIRED TODAY LOL PHEW#i think i just havent eaten enough today and i havent slept well in a while fjdkdl and all the cleaning is catching up to me finally
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Bruh eating disorders are so insidious
#caught myself thinking 'wow i really gotta stay vigilant about getting fat'#bro shut u p#who ARe you#also really sucks that ive never been 'bad enough' so no one knows so you just have to pretend to be normal about food when people go#'oh yeah i havent eaten all day haha' or talk a lot about calories or macros and whatnot :' ))#;; blue talks#tbd#ed cw
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i washed my face and i feel less evil
#my hair is long enough now i can put it up in a high ponytail#i havent been able to do that since highschool#GOD i miss playing basketball so fucking bad#i need to work out and do sports somehow this summer or im gonna lose it#i just hate working out by myself. i wish sports were more easily available once you get out of grade school#anyway#why did washing my face give me a sudden burst of energy#like now i wanna work out and clean my room and run#but also my body is exhausted bc i like havent eaten today bc my brain wouldnt let me#nvm i just remembered everything i have to do and i feel insane again#i have the urge to go on a run. i hate running. girl what.#im forcing myself to go to bed bc idk what the fuck is going on#mangoes thoughts
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FucksSAKE we're desperate and I'm fucking sick of begging for money so does anyone want some emergency art commissions. Like. Say a fiver for a quick sketch, maybe 10 to 15 for something with flat colour?
#spent several hours this morning doing those paid online surrveys and it fried my brain so much i had to take a nap#and didnt even earn enough to actually withdraw any money from it#like... f u c k theres gotta be something i can do?? we need electricity and bills and. i mean technically we need food but#i basically havent eaten in 3 days anyway and dont feel hungry so thats honestly the lowest priority atm#its. supposed to be getting easier. why is it getting *harder*#alao please please dont take this as me sounding ungrateful to people who help. you all mean the world to me and i would give yall anything#we're just. we're both really struggling. Alfie's in constant pain bc we're out of 'painkillers' till payday next week#mental healths in the toilet lol#but hey at least in 2 days my holidays are up and i get to go back to being beaten up by a child#exhausting myself with masking and hypervigilance to the point where i cant feel as much
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#lee’s bullshit#i hate to be an asshole but. if the only two things i requested today were museum and lunch#and the museum was closed .#could we please have gotten lunch. would it rlly have been that hard.#ignore this im a bitch when im tired and havent eaten enough etc etc. however .#and like also not for nothing. I can’t eat most places !!! I like actively have to search out stuff that won’t make me sick#like god forbid I get smth I can actually eat. idk im j annoyed#we walked for so long to go to this store for my sister and it was deadass j regular clothes. girl WHY.#’they only ship to the us a few times a year’ is this not the same as other things in the us ??#<— again being rude and mean bc im hungry. disregard
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already being on the corner of kms and explode the world and spilling a bunch of water everywhere is so. ok. alright.
#going on a walk would make me feel better. but i havent eaten enough today for that really. and the thought of going outside is killer.#but it would help. but i need to have enough energy to cook dinner. but im going bare insane. hm.
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excuses that work forever I-
SNICKER.
#SORRY. SORRY!#context: luz also tells belos 'i havent eaten enough today' over crying '''irrationally'''#replies#princess luz au#toh
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