#havent been washed in two weeks
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just havin fun with outfit stuff
[id: some digital drawings of shadow the hedgehog, amy rose, and rouge the bat. shadow is wearing a red sweater vest with a black star on the middle, a gray t-shirt, dark blue jeans with the cuffs rolled up around his ankles, and brown converse shoes. he's standing there with his fists awkwardly clenched, glancing away with a mildly resigned look on his face. a there's a sketch of rouge in the background behind him, grinning and giving him a thumbs up.
amy is wearing a pastel yellow blouse under orange overalls, which are baggy at the legs. the overalls have a few red, orange, and white flower patterns; ferns and leaves patterns; and white dotted lines and speckles. the chest pocket has a big white flower design on it. she's also wearing simple brown shoes. amy is skipping merrily along, her arms bent up at her sides as she grins a big smile over her shoulder.
finally, rouge is wearing a black croptop with a pink heart-shaped chest, a studded choker, elbow-length black fingerless gloves, a studded black belt, ripped light blue denim shorts, leggings, and her usual white high-heeled boots with the pink heart at the toe. she also has some golden ear piercings and gray-and-pink earrings. she's standing with her fist on one hip and the other held up, doing that thing where your pointer finger and thumb are held together. she has a gentle yet knowing smile. end id]
#monotoneart#sonic the hedgehog#sonic#shadow the hedgehog#amy rose#rouge the bat#shadow is Depressed(tm) he'd be wearing the same thing every single day if it was up to him#but rouge (and also sometimes amy) will get him different stuff for him to try on#not anything that requires a whole lot of effort. glances at rouge. but also not his usual jacket and pants that#havent been washed in two weeks
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your days are officially numbered you little bitch
#stupid rant is stupid#ganglion cyst#MRI#potentially#tw body horror#just in case#it’s benign its just stupid big#so yeah this is the main reason why i havent been motovated to draw#*motivated#its literally In The Way and doesnt feel comfortable at all#in the way of writing drawing throwing pots and just trying to press my hand flat and push up#if i use my hands for a period of time it feels pressurized or tight#which is weird#it doesnt hurt but its definitely uncomfortable#i’ll be in a splint for two weeks afterwards and cant move it or wash it#but if i do everything right i should heal up quickly and its a 1% chance of returning#so#now just to get sammy to her dental this next wednesday and get my car tax and state inspection done and ill be poor for the rest of 2025#but hey my deductible will be met early again lmfao#anyways#this is also partly why i havent been as active in fandom#on top of struggling to get back to normal with my surgery december 2023#body stuff takes up a lot of bandwidth
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i want mac and cheese but i dont want to have to get up and walk over to the house and make it. sigh... suffering....
#also idk if we have water for me to boil my noodles.#because weve had no water for like 2 weeks now so itd have to be from the drinking water and idk if thats empty rn too#but i want my noodles !!! sigh..................................#on the topic of not having water. were supposed to get a water delivery tomorrow and im soo fuckin excited because i havent had an actual s#actual shower or done laundry in about two weeks. ive been washing my hair in my sink#since the cabin has a separate water tank from the house so i do have some water out here#and doing wash cloth sink baths#but i have like. no clean clothes. ive washed a couple shirts and binders in the sink but like. it can only do so much lmao#ghost.txt
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I hate this time of the month like fuck this shit fuck it all
#I think either my antidepressants working for my severe moodwings... Bc ive just been crying a little bit easier than usual#Instead of 'ok a small inconvenience now i am seconds away from cuttn myself or worse'#But something i cant escape from is the pains... And nausea. My back is hurting and my stomach is doing an uproar.#And as usual theres the period puups... Why do i have to do that like at least 3 times per day? Normally its once but then this happens#And foe two days its like naw... You take 1000 steps? We need to empty the whole system /:#People who feel somewhat normal during this week and can do everything normally are super humans. I just feel disgusting and in discomfort#And or pain. And thus im so freaking tired like... I havent done anything special today... I washed a machine of clothes ... But im exhaus#The fact periods are so shitty makes me so angry like f off. I don't need to emulate how bad I'd feel if i was pregnant i am not stop#Miranda talking shit#tmi tag
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"You're not depressed, you're just lazy". As if what you call "laziness" isn't actually making my life ten times harder.
#can we talk about the cost impact of depression#or just mental illness in general#having to spend a fortune to get your clothes cleaned because you havent been able to do washing in two months#throwing away stuff that you would have been able to use if youd just tidied up two weeks ago#delivery cost#life on hardmode#depression
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my hair are fckn yellow what the hell
#i havent really looked at myself in the mirror for about two weeks now or more idek#and obviously i havent been taking care of my hair at all lately. like its a miracle if i get myself to wash them.#this fucking sucks man i hate this colour sm but ive ran out of my purple shampoo and i cant get myself to Go Out And Get It i hate it here#i look ridiculous jfc im this close to just cutting it all off leave me alone
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Could I request Alpha!Rhaenyra x omega!handmaiden!reader where they’re drawn to each other from the moment they meet and bond over their mutual trust issues regarding losing loved ones while slowly falling in love on Dragonstone? Like Nyra is cold and distant with everyone else, hesitant to let anyone in, but she just clicks with reader and whenever they’re alone, Nyra just melts and goes all soft, all affectionate touches and sweet nicknames and tender looks? (Two of my fav nicknames she’d call reader are: my little one, and Perzītsos (little flame) Maybe even some soft smut? It doesn’t have to be omegaverse if you’re not comfortable with writing it
Rhaenyra Targaryen*Perzītsos
Pairings: Rhaenyra x handmaiden!f!reader
Warnings: mentions of loss, family death, grieving, smut, fingering, f!recieiving oral, nipple play, pet names, soft smut 18+
Word count: 3110
A/N: trying to pick between emma and millie for a Rhaenyra gif is a near impossible decision
also i wouldve done the omega and alpha things but i havent really read much like that so i didnt wanna accidentally butcher it so i hope this was okay!
Masterlist Here
Translations
Perzītsos (little flame) ñuha dōna (my sweet)
All the servants had lined up, backs pressed against the stone walls of the corridor, waiting for the princess arrival. Heads bowed, hands whipping sweat on their skirts, hushed whispers to see if anyone had caught a glimpse of her yet. The sound of dragon wings batting through the skies alerted you all to her arrival.
Rhaenyra barely looked at anyone, let alone the servants as she walked the halls of her new home. As she spoke to the lords of Dragonstone at the entrance you took the moment to take her in. Her long silver hair was windswept from the fight, cascading down her back, yet somehow not tangled from the flight. She didn’t wear what you would expect of a princess, instead clad in leather and bright red cloth for ease of riding. Her eyes were the softest of lilacs, staring at you like flowers.
Oh fuck! You thought as your eyes snapped to the ground. She had caught your stares and you could only hope from this distance she did not see your embarrassment. What you hadn’t saw was the slight smirk on her face or the way her eyes lingered on you as she passed you by. Your new boss had told you yesterday you would be one of her many handmaidens and not to expect any great things out of washing the princess delicates so to keep your head down. You’d only arrived last week, and you had already made the first mistake.
You had hoped to spend the rest of your life with your family in Old Town even if only as a servant, but a fire had made that impossible. You escaped with your life but had lost it at the same time. One of the lords of the manor you worked in took pity on you and had you sent here so to not have to suffer the memories. Yet Dragonstone was cold, its walls empty and dark, and its people sombre even when greeting their princess.
The princess had been practically locked in her chamber for the past week, barely saying two words to her servants at a time. her eyes would always watch your every move as you cleaned her room. She never even let you do half your tasks and wouldn’t allow anyone to touch her. she was cold but you could not blame her since you too missed home, even if home was so different for you both. “Take these to the princess for her bath,” the head maid shoved a small chest into your hands before stacking towels on top. “She’s in a right grouchy mood for someone who has everything,” the woman muttered as she stomped off.
You couldn’t help but roll your eyes as you set off to the princess’s chambers. they had made you walk this path till your feet felt like they were going to crack to make sure you never got lost however as you stood in front of the door you kind of wish you had got lost. Taking a deep breath, you steadied the chest on your hip and knocked on the heavy wooden door. a moment passed before someone called out, “Come in,”
When your hand took the handle, you hadn’t expected the door to be so heavy. You shuffled forward, shoving the door open by your shoulder as you struggled to move the wood while balancing the chest. When you finally got in the room you were met again with those violet eyes. Rhaenyra smirked as she watched your head drop in embarrassment as you quickly shuffled in the room.
“Need a hand?” she asked as she stood from the bed she had been sitting on.
“It’s alright my princess I’ve got it- “you started to say as you placed the towels on the table beside the steaming hot bath when crash. The chest slipped from your hip and hit the ground, the wooden corner splintering and the top breaking over. “No,” you gasped as you knelt down to try put all the bath salts and fragrances back into the chest.
You heard footsteps but didn’t look up till Rhaenyra’s hand shot out to pick up one of the bottles, “Let me help you,” she said softly, ignoring the way you gaped at her. up close those eyes seemed even more magical, “Are you okay?” she asked, her eyes meeting you.
You realised she had picked up all the pieces and quickly went to stand, “Yes princess, thank you princess, princess I- “
“Rhaenyra,” she cut you off.
Pausing for a moment, eyes scrunched in confusion, before you nodded, “Princess Rhaynera I- “your sentence was cut off by her soft giggles.
“No please just call me Rhaenyra. In my chambers at least. Id like some form of normalcy at least,” Rhaenyra said as she stood up, but she did not move back as you began to lay out the bath supplies on the table. It seemed almost that she stepped closer. “What is your name?” she asked, her breath brushing the back of your neck.
You turned around, trying to stand tall, as you told her. “A beautiful name,” she said, her lips finally curved into a smile. It suited her face far better than her usual melancholy. “Are you here to ready the bath?”
“Yes pri- “you said, stopping suddenly with an awkward smile, “Rhaenyra. It will only be a few moments longer,”
“Thank you,” Rhaenyra said, a slight laugh in her voice as she stepped away to begin taking her jewellery off.
As you poured the salts in you decided to try actually speaking to her, perhaps she just missed conversation you thought. “I can help you with that,” you said causing her to spin round, “if you give me a moment of course,” you said as you stirred the salts in before picking up the bottle of fragrance the king had sent in spades for her.
“I know how to take my own jewellery off,” she said, turning away again.
“I did not mean to offend you,” you said quietly as the sweet smell filled the room, “I just like to be of help,”
Rhaenyra chuckled as she sat her jewels down, small things that cost more than your life, “I don’t think anyone could help me truly,” she said as she began to tie her hair up.
“Maybe,” you said as you laid out the towels, “but you never know till you ask. My mother always told me that,” you said, pausing for a moment in the sweet memory. She had always been so positive.
Rhaenyra paused briefly before finishing her hair. “Mothers always seem so wise,” she said as she looked out the window, “Till they die that is,” she muttered as her hands moved to try unstringing the laces behind her back.
“You don’t miss the fire till it’s gone cold,” you said as you checked the waters temperature, deciding the bath was in fact ready. Rhaenyra turned round with a questioning look, abandoning her futile attempts to undress herself, “That’s what my lord told me when I lost mine. Would you like me to get the laces princess?” you asked, somehow managing to stay calm as you spoke.
Rhaenyra nodded and you moved to stand behind her, gently loosening the dress, “Do you miss her?” Rhaenyra asked as the dress was loose enough for her to slip off her shoulders.
“Everyday,” you said as you picked up the heavy fabric and attempted to fold it.
“Me too,” she sighed as she moved to help you fold the dress, “Does it get easier?”
“No,” you said honestly as you bundled the gown into a drawer, “but it hurts less, in time,”
Rhaenyra didn’t say anything as she walked towards the bath. You silently helped her slip into the hot water, her shift going see through in the water, but you quickly averted your eyes. “Goodnight Rhaenyra,” you said as you bowed your head and went to leave.
“Wait,” she called out as your hand rested on the door handle, “Could you stay?” she said, her voice going quiet as she averted her gaze, “You could brush my hair?” she asked with a hopeful smile.
“Of course,” you smiled back at her, “It would be my pleasure princess- “
“Rhae,” she said cutting you off. “Call me Rhae,” she said as she settled back in the water.
“Okay Rhae,” you said as you moved a stool to sit behind her bath and took a brush in your hand, “Lean back,” you said as you took down her hair and began to brush.
Rhaenyra began requesting you daily for certain tasks. You would be the one to brush her hair, help her dress, arrange her bath. At first Rhaenyra would listen to your stories as you did your chores. She was nearly always silent when you did so, asking maybe one or two questions the whole time but always insisting you continued when you stopped.
Then she began to tell you, her stories. About her first time on a dragon, about her father’s new wife, and her mother’s death. Slowly she opened up more and more. You began to see her outside of chores. She’d have you sneak out to join her dinners or even a few times let you meet her dragon with the promise of a ride on it one day. Your meetings got longer and her words sweeter. Her hand began to linger when she would pass you the brush or your hands rested a moment too long on her shoulders until the day you kissed her without even thinking.
You had been helping her dress and had moved to her front to adjust the material. “All done,” you said, suddenly looking up from where your head had been tilted down to fix the bodice when your nose brushed against hers. Her lips brushed yours as your head moved up, her eyes gazing into yours and without a thought or a word you leaned forward closing the gap. It was a short but soft kiss, and you pulled back, wide eyed and almost teary as you expected to be scolded when Rhaenyra stepped forward.
Her lips crashed onto yours, her hands moving to hold your back and press you into her tighter. Your hands had been trapped between your bodies and snaked up her front to rest on her shoulders. This kiss was desperate, hungry, and so needy that you didn’t part for air till your head grew dizzy. “You shall dine with me tonight,” she whispered, her forehead resting on yours, “and I will count down the minutes till I return to find you in these chambers,”
That had been weeks ago. Now you lay in a bed of fine silks and furs, a silver haired girl laying with her head on your chest as you stroked her soft strands. “Rhae?” you asked quietly, “Are you awake?”
“Yes,” she whispered back. You couldn’t help but smile at her voice, “I’m just enjoying your company Perzītsos,” little flame, she whispered still in the quiet room only lit by a few candles. She had given you one of her shifts to wear as you settled into the bed with her, and it felt like clouds on your skin. “Is that wrong of me?” she asked as she brought your hand to her mouth to kiss.
“Not at all zaldrīzes,” you said, kissing the top of her head.
“Your Valyrian is improving,” you could hear the smile in her voice as she spoke.
You smiled down at the girl curled in your lap, “Only because of my teacher,” you said.
Rhaenyra shuffled and moved to sit up, her legs draped over your lap as she curled into you, her head resting on your shoulder, “It is easy to teach such a willing student,” she praised, kissing your check.
You turned your head, resting your forehead on hers before capturing her kiss. Her hand moved to hold your cheeks while yours softly squeezed her hip. Without a word Rhaenyra moved to straddle your legs before crashing her lips back to yours, holding your face gently. The kiss was comfortable, the type of kiss you melt into. Your hands moved from her hips to her back, pressing her chest into yours as she led the kiss.
Rhaenyra’s hands slipped down from your face between your bodies, resting over the thin fabric covering your chest. “Patience little one,” she giggled as she pushed back, “Good things come to those who wait,”
“I’ve been waiting for someone like you for a long time Nyra,” you panted before rejoining your lips, your hands slipping down to squeeze her ass over her shift.
Rhaenyra’s hands slipped off your body but only for a moment to pull off the thin fabric covering her body. “That’s better,” she said as she as she placed your hands back on the soft flesh of her ass as her hands began to gently squeeze your chest.
Her lips became more feverous, but Rhaenyra was careful not to burn you, always going softer on her favourite hand maiden. Rhaenyra’s hips began to grind down, signalling to you without words. One of your hands slipped from her back to her front, moving between your bodies to run a finger up her cunt, “So wet for me,” you praised with a slight smirk.
“Shut up and kiss me,” she giggled as she pulled you back in.
Your fingers trailed up and down her wet folds for only a few moments before slowly pushing into her entrance. Rhaenyra moaned into the kiss as your fingers slipped in, your thumb positioned to rub slow circles into her clit which you had worked over so many times now. Rhaenyra began to slowly buck her hips on your fingers, fucking herself slowly as your fingers curled.
Her moans were soft and mixed with gasps as you began to kiss down her jaw and neck. The soft skin was like a drug as your lips moved down to nip at her collarbones. Your spare hand moved from her ass to her chest as you began to kiss her chest before taking one of her hardened nipples into your mouth, sucking on it gently, “Yes,” Rhaenyra moaned softly as your fingers began to trace her hardened bud, “Don’t stop,”
“Whatever you want,” you whispered before lightly biting the bud with your teeth.
“You,” she gasped, “I want you,” she moaned as your fingers curled into that all too familiar spot. The way her hips began to buck was a familiar sight. your hand moved from her chest to her hips to hold them in place as you helped her moan out in ecstasy, curling your fingers still as she rode out her orgasm before collapsing into your arms.
Rhaenyra’s head rested on your shoulder for a moment as she caught her breath. Your hands moved to rub soft circles into her back, holding her close. After a few moments Rhaenyra lifted her head to leave a soft kiss onto your lips, “Your turn,” she whispered.
“It’s okay princess- “
“Let me take care of you,” she interrupted, brushing your hair out of your face, “Lay down little one. I want to hear you,” she said as she moved to let you lay on the soft sheets.
Her eyes raked over you body, the shift doing little to cover your modesty. Rhaenyra sat next to you, reaching out to trace your hardened nipples over your clothes, “So pretty,” she muttered before she moved lean over your body. She kissed your lips before trailing down your body, leaving kisses down your skin till she reached your thighs.
Rhaenyra left several kisses up the sensitive skin while you shivered from her touch. Her soft breath fanned over your wet cunt, already making your body tense. You breathed in sharply when she placed a sudden kiss to your clit, your hands gripping the fine sheets. “Relax,” she whispered with a teasing tone, “Trust me little one,” she said as she moved your thighs over her shoulders, “Let me hear your sweet sounds,” she said before licking a soft stripe up your folds.
Your hands tightened around the sheets as Rhaenyra began to lap up your juices, softly at first but with growing hunger. She moved her head till her nose brushed your clit, making your body jerk. Rhaynera hands wrapped around your legs, squeezing the soft flesh of your thighs as she began to fuck you with her tongue.
You could feel the knot growing in your stomach and you did your best to stay quiet, but Rhaenyra was not making it easy. One of her hands released your thigh only for her to begin teasing your hole with her fingers. Rhaenyra slowly eased two fingers into you, curling them slowly inside you as her mouth moved up to place open mouth kisses to your clit. Her tongue massaged your bundle of nerves while her fingers began to brush over that one particular spot.
Your soft moans filled the chambers and the fear of someone entering didn’t even faze you as your body tightened. When you felt her begin to lightly suck on your clit you could feel your peak ready to tip so when her teeth grazed the bundle of nerves you began to crash on her tongue, your knuckles turning white as you gripped the sheets.
Rhaenyra didn’t stop even as your thighs tightened around her head. You felt your body might break in half as her mouth seemed to get more determined to milk another out of you. it didn’t take long till your body was jerking as you tried to almost fight off the second orgasm, but it was futile once her fingers curled to hit your sweet spot and you came again on her face.
This time Rhaenyra came up for air as you lay in bed, half dazed as you stared at the ceiling. “You were so good for me,” Rhaenyra praised as she lay beside you, brushing the hair out of your face, “Can I hold you little one?” she asked, raising your hand to her lips and to kiss your knuckles.
You nodded, shuffling slightly so that Rhaenyra could lay behind you, her arms wrapped around your front while her head buried into the crook of your neck. “Get some sleep darling,” Rhaenyra said, kissing your shoulder, “I’ll be here in the morning,”
“Okay,” you whispered as you felt Rhaenyra shuffle and suddenly a thick blanket fell over you both, “Gnight Rhae,” you said, already half asleep,”
“Goodnight Perzītsos,”
Taglist @clairacassidy @starkleila @valeskafics
#house of the dragon preference#house of the dragon headcannons#house of the dragon imagine#house of the dragon#house of the dragon smut#house of the dragon x reader#game of thrones smut#game of thrones imagine#game of thrones x reader#game of thrones#hotd#hotd smut#hotd imagine#hotd x reader#hotd rhaenyra#rhaenyra x reader#rhaenyra targaryen#rhaenyra targeryan#rhaenyra targeryan x reader#rhaenyra targeryan smut#rhaenyra targeryan imagine#rhaenyra targeryan x f!reader#rhaenyra targeryan x you#request
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hi! could i request a hawks x male/depressed reader? reader struggles to eat/get out of bed, mostly non verbal + struggles with executive dysfunction:) been having a rough time lately being stuck in a depressive episode and keigo really keeps me going LMAO
pls don’t feel pressured to write this if you don’t feel comfortable/able! <3
I hope you feel better! And of course, I’ll do it! I get it completely lol
╭₊˚๑Keigo Takami(Hawks) X Depressive reader﹕☁️₊˚
TW: eating struggles, Depressive habits
Anyone feeling like this just know it gets better and I hope this helps!
Word Count; 1.1k words
ִֶָ 𓂃⊹
For the past two weeks, maybe more—honestly, who is counting—you have been lying in bed. You've barely gotten up to go to the bathroom and eat. It’s not like you are sleeping. No, you are quite literally just lying in bed doing nothing. The energy it takes to grab your phone or even charge it is a lot, and the last time you checked, it was five percent. You know what caused this yet being in bed is causing more stress but you just can’t get up. Work, training, and studying. You are so behind on both yet you refuse to sit up and at least open a book.
“Baby?” You don’t know when this man went here, but he’s kneeling down in front of you. You glance at him, and he looks worried. God, you hate when he’s worried, especially when it involves you. “It’s been four weeks, You gotta get up.” So he’s keeping count, great. You use the energy you have to turn and face away from him but he quickly stops you. “Come on, talk to me at least what’s going on?” You just stare at him. He sighs and walks out of the bedroom. You bring the blankets over your head and let out a little sigh. He just walked out, he’s so over this and over you, you think. You don’t know how long you were under the blanket for overthinking but the heat is getting to much so you kick the blanket off you and you smell… food? It smells good but also nauseating, Your stomach growls and you realize you havent ate in a while. Keigo waddles back into the room, holding a try with pasta and water, he walks to the side of the bed you arent rotting on and slowly places the try on his lap. “Come on baby, sit up and eat.” You slowly sit up and rest your back on the headboard. He grabs the bowel and hands it to you, You take it and stare at it. “What’s wrong? Isnt this your comfort food?” You nod but still just stare at it. “You gotta speak to me baby, I can only know so much… are you nauseous?” You nod. “It’s because you havent ate, take a bite a promise youll feel better.” Keigo debates in his head a bit before grabbing the fork and bringing it up to your mouth. You take a bite and slowly chew, you let out a satisfied sigh and grab the fork from him and start eating. “Slow down!” he laughs.
𓂃⊹
After you ate Keigo had walked out to go clean up and wash the dishes, he had left the cup of water you without knowing avoided. You were just staring at it. Slowly but surly you grab it and start drinking it, the coldness felt nice and you ended up chugging it until there was only ice left. Keigo walked back in and quickly noticed the glass empty, he smiled looking at you and you smile back. He goes to the side of the bed you are on and picks you up, surprised you gasp and wrap your arms around his neck. “It’s alright baby.”
He brings you into the bathroom and the smell of the room hits you admittedly. Keigo had lit a Vanillia candle and it rest right near the sink. Next you notice the bath he set up, filled with bubbles and your hair products, face products and soup all set up. Keigo sets you down slowly and you look at him, “Hands up.” you listen and he takes off your shirt. You blush and cover yourself quickly. “It’s okay baby, youre beautiful.” slowly you put your arms down. “Do you want help with your shorts?” You shake your head ‘no’ and take them off yourself. “Alright baby hop in.” He takes off his shirt and you get into the tub, sitting down. Keigo runs out of the bathroom quickly and runs back in holding a cup? “Almost forgot!” You smile.
Keigo kneels down besides the tub and fills the cup full of water, “alright tilt your head back and close your eyes.” You listen and he wets your hair. When he thinks he got it wet enough, he grabs your shampoo and massages it into your hair. “Don’t fall asleep on me.” You giggle as he washes the shampoo out of your hair. He repeates and does the same thing with the conditioner, you fight back the sleep. “All done, now turns and face me.” you listen and he grabs your face cleanser, you watch as he puts some in his hands and rubs it on our face slowly, “what is I give you a soap mustache?” You shake your head no and he laughs, he wets a face cloth and gets all the soap off your face. With the same facecloth he rinceses it and puts your body soup on it, he slowly washes your body and you can’t help but avoid looking at him. “Oh don’t do that.” he whines and you look at him. Smiling he gives you a quick kiss.
𓂃⊹
You stand there shivering in a towel as Keigo runs back into the bathroom with a fresh new pair of clothes for you. “Do you want me to do it?” You shake your head ‘no’ and get yourself dressed, Keigo takes this as a win. He knows you have the energy and strength to walk back into the bed but he picks you up and beings you into the bedroom and softly puts you on the bed. He goes and grabs your brush and sits behind you, he carefully brushes your hair making sure not to hurt you.
“M’sorry…”
“Shh don’t apologize baby.” he kisses the top of your head. “I know everything is a lot right now, and I should have stepped away from work sooner and helped you.”
“It’s okay.”
“It’s not, I thought you just needed time but I ignored you for to long. Just know i’m here baby and I’ll aways be here.” He puts down your hair brush and pulls you onto him, he combs his fingers through your hair.
“You don’t hate me right..?”
“Of course not baby! Don’t make me laugh! Stuff get’s stressful I understand. I Love you and this won’t change that.”
“I love you so much.” You turn and hug him tightly.
#bnha hawks#bnha x reader#bnha#mha hawks#hawks x reader#takami keigo#keigo takami#mha takami keigo#keigo x reader#bnha keigo
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Request for John b: reader finds out she is pregnant and is scared to tell John b because they are still teenagers.
tides of change
thank you for the request! i hope this was okay!
tears welled up in your eyes as you stared at the pregnancy test resting on the bathroom counter.
positive.
the word seemed to echo in your mind. you had been feeling unusually tired, battling waves of morning sickness for the past week. so, you took the test just in case, never truly expecting it to confirm your worst fears.
this changes everything.
you collapsed onto the cold tile floor, consumed by a whirlwind of emotions. fear, uncertainty, and a sense of overwhelming responsibility washed over you. you and john b were just teenagers, you havent even graduated high school, and now this unexpected change is going to alter your lives completely.
sobs racked your body as you realised what this would mean.
how were you going to tell john b? how would he react? would he even want to be a part of this?
but amidst the chaos of your thoughts, a small voice whispered a glimmer of hope. maybe, just maybe, this could be the start of something beautiful, the start of a family and a life with the boy you loved most.
with a shaky breath, you pulled yourself up from the bathroom floor, wiping away the tears that stained your cheeks. you had plans to meet john b at the chateau later today, as he wanted to go on a beach day. despite the turmoil raging within you, you knew you had to face him, to share this together.
summoning every ounce of strength you had left, you gathered yourself and began to get dressed, preparing yourself for the difficult conversation that awaited you at john b's house.
when you reached john b's house, he was already sat in the driving seat of the pogue, waiting for you.
"what took you so long babe?"
"just slept in sorry baby"
you felt bad about lying to him, but you just werent ready to break the news, it wasnt the right time.
once you reached the beach, john b took your hand and pulled you onto the shore as you both undressed, a light blue bikini top paired with beach shorts adorning your body, while he was shirtless with board shorts on.
as you stepped out into the sunlight, uncertainty loomed on the horizon, but deep down, you knew that whatever the future held, you and john b would face it together.
the salty breeze carried whispers of change as john b and you stood on the windswept beach, your laughter mingling with the crash of the waves. summer stretched out before you, a canvas of endless possibilities.
you fidgeted with the hem of your shirt, your gaze fixed on the horizon. your stomach tied in knots with a secret you couldn't bear to keep any longer. with a deep breath, you turned to face john b, the words heavy on your tongue.
"john b, we need to talk," you said, your voice barely above a whisper.
john b's easy grin faltered as he sensed the gravity of your tone. "what's up?"
"i... i don't know how to say this," you began, your heart pounding in your chest.
"i- ive been feeling tired and ive had morning sickness for the last 5 days so.."
john b softly took your shaking hand in his in an attempt to calm your nerves.
"i took a test this morning, and... and i found out that i'm pregnant."
silence stretched between the two of you, the crash of the waves echoing in the stillness. john b's expression shifted from confusion to shock, then to a whirlwind of emotions you couldn't decipher.
"pregnant?" he repeated, his voice barely a whisper.
you nodded, tears welling in your eyes. "i'm scared, john b. we're just teenagers, and... and i don't know what to do."
without a word, john b closed the distance between the two of you, his arms enveloping you in a tender embrace. he held you close, his touch a comforting anchor amidst the storm raging within you.
"hey, hey, it's gonna be okay," he murmured, his breath warm against your ear. "i'm here for you baby. we'll figure this out together, i promise."
you shifted your head to look up at him, desperately trying to read his facial expression.
was he sad? did he regret it?
instead, you saw a smile beginning to form on his face.
"im going to be a dad" he stated
"i love you so much baby, im so lucky that you will be the mother of my kids- if you choose to keep the baby i mean, its all up to you my love"
he looked down at you with a wide smile plastered on his face
"plus you'll look hot as fuck in maternity clothes"
you giggle and lean into him, catching his lips in yours.
feeling the steady beat of his heart against your chest, you leaned into his embrace, your fears momentarily forgotten in the safety of his arms.
as the sun dipped below the horizon, casting a golden glow over the beach, john b pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead, his lips lingering against your skin with a tenderness that spoke volumes. amidst the uncertainty of your future, you found comfort in the unspoken promise of a love strong enough to weather any storm.
#john b routledge#john b x reader#outer banks#obx fic#obx fanfiction#obx x reader#rafe obx#obx#jj maybank#jj maybank fanfiction#rafe outer banks#rafe cameron#rafe x reader#rafe imagine#fanfic#rafe smut
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— empty promises
» ex!jeonghan x reader
» angst 🌩️
» warning: breakup (though not explicitly mentioned)
» w.c: 0.5k
» a/n: mmm idk how i feel abt this LOL anyways FIRST ANGST!!!!!!!!! a little bit of personal experience added to this one - i still havent received that video of that song yet.
yoon jeonghan was never good at promises.
in the 11th grade, he asked to borrow an eraser and promised that he’d give it back.
he didn’t.
but you were just petty since it was an expensive eraser, it was only an eraser.
—
“jeonghan?”
he gives you slight hum in response.
“did you forget about that thing i invited you to on friday night?”
“what thing?” he says, kicking the white sand underneath you two while sitting on the swings at your local park.
“it was a little event thingy, you said you would come. you promised.”
“oh, did i?”
“you could’ve just told me that you didn’t want to go… i would’ve been fine with it you know.” you say with a chuckle.
“but i did want to go.”
“then why didn’t you come?”
“i had something else… don’t worry, i’ll make it up to you, i promise. how ‘bout a song? i’ll record a song for you.”
“you promise?”
“i promise.”
yoon jeonghan couldn’t keep that promise.
—
“hannie, what happened to that song you promised to send me?” you said light-heartedly while walking down the city street, arms interlocked with jeonghan’s.
“oh that? i honestly thought you would’ve forgotten by now.” he says with a chuckle, making your eyebrows furrow.
“oh, well… did you at least record it already?”
“well… no. i didn’t think you took it seriously.”
“but you asked for the specifics and everything... you asked me if i wanted a video or a recording, a sad song or happy song. you literally told me last week you were finishing editing it.” you say as unhook your arm from his. “jeonghan… you promised.”
he shakes his head, still chuckling, “it’s honestly not that deep. i’ll make it up to you. i promise.” he leans down and presses a kiss on your head.
he didn’t make it up to you.
yoon jeonghan couldn’t keep that promise.
—
“would you love me even if i was a frog?”
he laughs in response, “why would you turn into a frog though?”
“now... that doesn’t matter. what matters is that if you would still love me even then.”
“i would.”
“how bout… a worm!?”
“babe, where’s this even going?” he chuckles and turns his body towards yours as you lay on your back, staring at the blue sky.
“mm, just curious. now answer.”
“yes babe, i’d love you even if you suddenly turned into a worm overnight. i’d carry you to your classes and feed you and wash you… wait, do worms even need to be washed-”
“hannie, will you love me forever?”
jeonghan quickly sits up and looks at you with eyes filled with worry, “babe, seriously are you ok?” you give him a nod in response and your eyes meet his. “of course i'll love you forever, i promise.”
yoon jeonghan couldn’t keep that promise either.
thank you for reading until the end!!
» want to read more? » m.list
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tags:
@aaniag @dkswife @kokoiinuts
#jeonghan#yoon jeonghan#jeonghan angst#jeonghan x reader#svt#seventeen x reader#svt angst#mina's fics ୨୧#svt jeonghan
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life update 2 !!
hello hello i kinda forgot about tumblr for a little bit im sorry mooties honestly not a lot has been happening ive kinda js been doing nothing but its the holidays so yippee
im going back to school in 3 days so thats fun (its not) i have a coding assessment (last coding assessment yes !!) thats due ON MY BIRTHDAY which is in 2 weeks and i havent started so thats fun
i also had a science report and 6 math tasks i forgot about so i dont think my academic comeback is happening anytime soon. im doing romeo and juliet in english and decided to try and finish a 35 page booklet (ive done 11 pages and my hand hurts) because starting coding felt like too big of a task
i cleaned my room today !! and washed my hair
oh guys i cut myself bangs the other day... theyre a bit long and theyre in my eyes but hey id rather too long than too short
i bought a bunch of clothes !!!! and i got false lashes for an early birthday present and i also bought a few books which are so unsimilar to what i normally read but they are
becoming supernatural by dr. joe dispenza
different not less by chloe hayden who also plays quinni in heartbreak high !!
the body keeps the score by bessel van der kolk
ive read through a little of the second two !!
i also am in the process of making one of those tiktok cardboard sharks. im stuck on the paper mache bit where they glue napkin or whatever down. i let it dry last night and some of its coming off so i have to go redo that
life has been okay? not really but its ok im gettin through it?? i think me and someone im very very very close to are drifting apart
also is it just me or does anyone else feel like they drift away from their friends if they dont hang out with them during the holidays? because all my friends are overseas so :(
oh also i went to a really cool fair that happened like a week ago and went on 2 of the scariest rides ive ever been on in my life !! like i went upside down about 50m in the air and it was scaryyy but i love rollercoasters and other rides like that
me and my friends (looking at u @quackethh) made a satire magazine with for an english task last year are doing the second one !!! so im really excited for that cos it was funny as shit
WAIT I JUST GOT REALLY SCARED BECAUSE I HAD A DANCE REFLECTION AND ANALYSIS TASK THAT I HAD TO SUBMIT AT THE END OF THE TERM AND I THOUGHT I DIDN'T SUBMIT IT but i did so its okay
i finished one of my shifting scripts !!! im really happy about that i js need to tweak it but yeah
sorry for the long post gang :( ilya have an amazing day muah muah
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i was all like eugh i smell gross today and then immediately remembered im wearing shirt that ive worn every day for the last like two weeks without washing, a jacket that gets sweat on it regularly and has never been cleaned, and also i havent showered in almost a week. so im sure i have you all swooning by now
#my jeans are safe at least#and my boxers#count your blessings okay#im just as bad as basement gerard istg
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get to know you game!
tagged by @zannolin thanks zanna haiii :]
-> last song you listened to? washing machine heart…. mitski….. it was my I Will Survive This Shift loop choice yesterday. other than that i’ve been listening to the stardew valley soundtrack a whole bunch lately! distant banjo my beloved
-> currently reading? ‘cosmic horror? i hardly know ‘er!’ which is a karlnapity horror fic inspired by one of my old dsmp oneshots :] it’s very fun im enjoying. as far as books uhhh ive been working on finishing six of crows for SOO long but im making painstaking progress nonetheless 💪
-> currently watching? between shows, currently; finished legend of korra and haven’t settled on a new one yet. maybe rewatching the good place to show my housemates! i am about to go catch up on the last two weeks of hermitcraft that i missed, though. the sunday routine 🙏
-> currently obsessed with… this minecraft village renovation i’m working on in my siblings’ minecraft server. it’s a cute riverside plains village and i’m turning it into the tangled village :D havent gotten any screenies yet but here’s the inspo moodboard i put together
low stakes tagging @spaceacealyx @metfell and @lepidopteragirl + anybody who wants to jump in and say they were tagged by me - consider yourself tagged! :]
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i have had the most hilarious day
i dropped off my holter monitor and tried to wash off the goop in the bathroom, did not work at all. left with grunge and a weird hickey looking bruise. too obese to button my flannel up. awesome, whatever. i decided to pick up some prescriptions while i was out and about. while i was there i saw my shitty IRL that im tentatively being polite to and her kiddo ran up to me and hugged me <33 oh but anyway she was all like "omg hiii, sorry i havent been in contact ive just been sooo busy. im not mad at you! are you mad at me?" and i just laughed and was like whatever, shit happens dude. like totally not answering her question but willing to just move on. idk i just always laugh when someone genuinely asks "are you mad at me?" or "do you hate me?" it just feels so middle school. i explained my bruise and we had a good laugh, apparently she pulled her shoulder but that's not why she was at the med center, it was for the kiddo. i gave her a couple of muscle relaxers since i JUST got it refilled so fuck it. i wish she would go to an actual doctor though. instead of the ER last week i guess? for a pulled shoulder??? ok .
so me and my MIL finally leave the med center, i bought a preroll at the dispo, i went to gordon food service and bought mochi. boomer MIL went to mcdonalds and decided we need to eat in because she wanted to "make sure they brew a fresh decaf and cook my food to order" (it sounds reasonable but she isnt reasonable about how she asks) and it was insane, the manager was verbally abusing one of his employees. said employee walked out. two customers on two separate occasions started cussing out some of the remaining workers.
finally we go to leave and her car wont start.
MIL is absolutely, and i dont say this lightly, fucking retarded, when it comes to vehicles. She has never changed her oil on any vehicle she has had in the time ive known her. She constantly buys like fucking Temu windshield wipers and then is like "these wipers are fucky sucky" yes Meems its cause you bought it from fuckysucky dot com. Jesus! Ok so
She sat there just trying to start her car over and over again. For like half an hour. No lights would come on, not even flicker. I tried to tell her like hey let's try something else. Do you think she listened to me? No. She is having like 86 panic attacks and listing off every biblical character she can think of while she's trying to start the car over and over. She finally called a family friend and they brought jumper cables.
The battery is in the trunk. The trunk can't be opened because the battery is dead. Could not open the access panel bc it was so awkward to maneuver trying to reach it from the back seat. Family friend googled it and found out theres some battery access nodes under the front hood. and it straight up didnt work. like at all. dashboard lights would flicker on but then right back off. random guy in the parking lot offered 'help' by walking family friend through the steps of what she'd already been doing.
MIL is having a panic attack because the tow truck is going to be $112 and she wants to call "these other cheapy guys in my phone but i cant find it OH OKAY I found it should I call and cancel the other one?" and im like "Meems they are already on the way dont fuckign do that to these people." tow truck pulls up after i finished that sentence. kids stopped playing in the playplace to watch the tow truck lmao.
i finally got home and i was so tired and dehydrated and hungry and my mochi was totally liquid on the inside. god. all i wanted to do was drop off my monitor and go home and play neopets what the fawwwwk
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hands are always cold fingers are cracked and bleeding from constant washing multiple papers and presentations due in the next seven days behind on grading havent done sequencing said I was going to do last month always tired breaking out in debt traffic havent been to the gym in two weeks working twelve hours a day still getting nothing done and not seeing nearly enough of my partner that i live with
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haiii ... like a week short of a month since i left everything.... i just wanted to use as Journal and catch up before i do Fully return to social media, gettin rid of the app after this post yet again:
has . been . rough. grief has been consistent the last month from my best friend and now ex leaving me, losing that new job due to being physically sick from grief and being unemployed an additional month, my best best friend my dog, sage, passed away last friday and although i left to drive to kansas i just didn't make it in time. She has wind chimes over her grave and passed listening to the sound of the wind chime my great grandma left for me. two days after her passing marked the First Full Year since my grandpa passed away, i had a dream the night before where we drove around looking at christmas lights with people no longer in my life and he just looked so so sad. i am consistently physically alone; i facetime a couple friends but i go outside alone, sleep/wake up alone, eat alone, this has been going on since i left arizona in november Most of my time is spent completely alone.
ive tried new habits. i meditate and stretch in the morning and night. i read a page a day of a stoicism book my dad got me last year with a propeller hat. i see a therapist weekly, wake up earlier, even floss now. The complete back to back to back grief has left me no choice but to just Do Something. while i would Love to share something with someone its best i reserve it to myself, yet here i am vacantly sharing my last month to who knows who...
my friend invited me to see stop making sense last night in a farther town, showed the original film not the remastered and general admission was all standing and everyone acted as if it was a real concert dancing and singing. this was my 6th time seeing it in a theater. did not cry once yet celebrated the experience i have had and although i will never have anything quite like i did with someone quite like them, at least i had it for a good portion of my life. had to devote this must be the place to myself, foreign. to be completely transparent, i do miss them every day. i do not cry like i used to, i dont let myself get consumed by thought and feeling, ive grown more desensitized as time has passed, but i still miss them of course. i consistently see things that remind me of them even when theyre not on my mind and when sage died i wanted to reach out so terribly; reminisce of the fort we built where she slept with us and i had no one to talk to but my mom who was with her til the end. i didnt. i havent reached out. it is not my place given they were the one to leave i just will not keep reaching out and chasing someone who sounded so blatantly apathetic on our last phone call. i tell myself it was just a form of self preservation to them but yknow. like. that's it, i have no choice but to experience grief with self compassion and continue on, wherever that goes.
i may be starting TMS treatment , having magnets zap my brain 5 days a week, 6 weeks. i see a cardiologist on the 30th since my chest frequently hurts and both ekgs have concerns in the pause between beats. my pulse at resting is consistently around 120 yet my blood pressure is fine; who knows. well i guess ill know actually in 10 days. im finishing a vape, got a full pack of cigarettes ive yet to touch yet plan to quit smoking here soon in hopes it helps. maybe after my pack to eliminate temptation yet not waste my money... i bought it an hour before sage passed. i barely drink coffee and dont use energy drinks anymore i do what i can for my heart now.
atticus still sleeps with me, most nights. sometimes he wanders the living room when i cant sleep. im almost halfway through galapagos. i washed my sheets for the first time since buying them in august. im very much alone and this is all fine i tell myself. the stoicism has encouraged me to alter my perspective on things more rationally as opposed to the wired self deprecating and depression-based "take everything personally" thought processes ive had for 18 years. im on my phone significantly less and i even wrote a piece on piano i may share after this post. ive been transposing it to cello, my grandma requested.
i have no interest in perusing anyone anytime soon still, whether its still too early or what i think i do just Need to do these things alone for a while. ive never found sole stability in others, i learned this at 6 with my dad, yet while outside aid would help, it is not a requirement to live however. forgive me for how long this is and for leaving once again there are a few of you i used to talk to daily and now ive just got a few contacts in my phone.
despite chronic mental illness, mourning, loneliness, you name it, ive never taken this approach before. i will typically have a suicide attempt yet here i am doing a pancake stretch and ommm-ing every morning. i keep as busy as i can, today i went through every single thing i own to sort donations and the day before i deep cleaned. there is a box wrapped in a blanket of some of the things that remind me of them. i went through it today and brought out some things like the books theyve given me, it doesnt hurt as much anymore to remember. im donating the mugs i never gave them and the one theyd use at my house when theyd come over. all their letters havent been reread yet sit in between the photo of us in the cave. it was nice to see. i am so honored they let me, of all people, share these experiences with them. i am more thankful it happened then miserable itll never happen again; at least i had it for a while. i say this yet if a year passes and i hear from them, i would love to reconnect: hear how their life has been, what they've been doing, how their family is and if they are doing better. if this has helped. while for 6 years i believed they were really it for me, whether we ever dated or not ive always considered them the only one who Really Knew who i was, how i worked, you name it. although im "moving on" by taking care of myself more, it is upsetting to admit if i ever have a chance again, id take it in a heartbeat. i say this yet still believe Even if i do never get a chance, that's okay too. While i would, i dont anticipate it, rely on it, sit in denial "theyll surely come back," its alright if they never do. i live each day as if they never will yet to my core do know that i would try again
a knee ways .. i hope you, whoever reads, is doing okay, that you feel alright and what not. you dont have to feel good every day, but at the least alright i hope ... not sure if/when ill come back maybe just once a month im unsure yet .was just in a solid enough state to do this for a moment . wish you all well ,
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