#haven't we suffered enough this weekend

[livetogether--diealone]

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[chaoticwriting]

THE FATHER 2

Part 1

After the last incident, Danny totally expects the public to be afraid of him or even persecute him for killing the Joker. He did kill in front of a live stream after all. What he doesn't expect is the public giving their full support to him. Almost every single news media paints him in a good light, saying he is just protecting his children and bringing up all his previous charity.

However, there is one big problem Danny doesn't foresee. Danny doesn't even know about the problem because his children are the one that are suffering from it.

-Gotham Academy-

Emma: *Slamming her phone on the table* For the love of god, stop making thirst trap of my dad. He is too old for some of you (He is 20).

Becky: I know right. This is like the sixth thirst trap video that I see of dad.

Carl: I hate this so much. My crush just accepted my confession but on the condition I will introduce her to dad.

Larry: And you agree?

Carl: What? No! Of course not.

Emma: Ugghhh, this is the worst. Maybe we should ask Uncle Tucker to remove all of Dad's thirst trap online. I'm so done with this.

Larry: I don't know. This is the first time girls decide to talk to me voluntarily. I really am enjoying this attention.

Carl: You're happy now until one of the girls decides to confess to you and just as you thought because she likes you, it is because she has a crush on dad.

Larry: I know you just experienced it but you don't need to curse me like that.

Carl: Hmph.

Larry: Hey, has anyone seen Colin? I haven't seen him since last night.

Becky: *Whispersing* Don't you hear? Colin got shot after he went to patrol the night before yesterday. Dad grounds him cause he tries to sneak out injured last night.

Carl: Oof. Colin really doesn't learn does he? Dad has super sense. He literally can't sneak out.

Larry: Yeah. I don't even know why he wants to be a vigilante so much. I guess he is just kind of something. Couldn't be me to be honest.

Emma: Of course he is not like you. You are not even capable of waking up by yourself in the morning.

*Riiiinngggg*

Becky: Well that is our break then. Let's go to class.

Larry: Eh, it's not like Miss Brown gonna scold me if I am a little late anyway. She has been trying to get Dad's number from me for a while now.

Carl: Does dad even have a girlfriend? Or boyfriend? Hell, a partner? I never saw him gone on a date once so far.

Emma: Chances are probably super low. Like to say he is dense is an understatement. A woman tried to flirt with him once but he just replied to all the flirting with the straightest face possible.

The rest: *Giggles*

-Gotham Libraries-

Contrary to what his kids have been believing in, he actually knows when someone is flirting with him. It's just that he takes note from the dense anime protagonist and uses it in daily life whenever he is not interested in a person flirting with him. Which is like daily.

But here is the problem. He can respond to a flirt very easily. He learns a lot of that from when he was dating Sam. But he never actually flirts with someone first. And he isn't sure just how to approach the problem.

Having decided that he has stayed long enough, Danny picks a random book from the space section and brings it to the checkout table.

Danny: Hey Barbara.

Barbara: Hey Danny. Borrowing another book?

Danny: Yeah. I just finished the previous one last night. It is a good book. Thanks for the recommendation.

Barbara: You're welcome. How's the kids doing? Still causing trouble for you?

Danny: It's the same shenanigans everyday. Going to lectures, doing paperwork, taking care of the kids. What about you?

Barbara: It's the same with me. Barely any people come to the library these days. Usually it's only either you or my friends.

Danny: Oh. Errmm, Barbara.

Barbara: Yes?

Danny: Would you be free this weekend?

Barbara: Are you asking me on a date?

Danny: Depends. If it is, what would you say?

Barbara: Hmmm, let me think.

Danny fidgets as Barbara taps her finger on the counter. Barbara loves to tease Danny since he is so cute when he is nervous.

Barbara: I think I am free this weekend. So I am available for a date.

Danny's face beams a smile as he hears that.

Danny: So is that a yes?

Barbara: What do you think, big guy?

Danny: Then I will come pick you up at your apartment then?

Barbara: Come pick me up at my dad's house. I will be ready at 5.

Danny: Okay. Have a good day.

Barbara: You too.

Danny then walks out of the library, skipping a little. He has been gathering courage to ask Barbara out on a date for a long time now. They first met when Danny first borrowed a book from a library. It's nothing crazy. Just interaction between two people. But after meeting up a few more times, Danny realizes that he might have a crush on her. After getting convinced by Tucker and Sam, Danny decided that today is the day he asks her out. And he succeeded.

Now, it is just to make sure that the date goes well.

-Clocktower-

Batman: That's it for tonight. Everyone returns back to the cave.

Black Bat/Spoiler/Red Robin: Roger.

Oracle: Hey, B. Can I have a day off this weekend?

Batman: Why?

Oracle: I have a date that night.

Spoiler: You are dating someone?

Oracle: It's not official yet. He only just asks me out on a date this morning.

Batman: Yes. Keep your comms up. In case a breakout happens your way.

Oracle: Okay.

Red Robin: Who are you going on a date with?

Oracle: Danny.

Spoiler: As in that Danny?

Oracle: Yes.

Spoiler: Oh wow! You work fast. How do you know him?

Oracle: He always comes to the library to borrow books. I met him long before he became famous so it is not so hard to talk with him.

Black Bat: Is he nice?

Oracle: He is very nice. It's very hard to even make him mad. The only time I remember him being in a slightly bad mood is at Christmas. He doesn't like it apparently. Wait, Hood is entering the line.

Red Hood: Oracle, you betray me!

Oracle: Tough luck loser. How do you know anyway?

Red Robin: I told him just now.

Red Hood: Yeah! You dare ask him out on a date first before me? I will remember this.

Oracle: He is the one that actually asks me out. We are going on an official date this weekend. I'll take a very nice picture of us together so that you can see from afar.

Red Hood: But your status still isn't official yet. I still have a chance.

Oracle: Over my dead body.

Red Hood: Oh, I will.

Spoiler: Errr, guys. What is happening?

Red Robin: They have a bet on who will get to date Danny first. Apparently Hood gets a massive crush on this guy after what happens in the livestream. Oracle gets the news and they quarrel a little bit. After that I propose a competition between the two.

Spoiler: But both of you don't know that Oracle is already close with Danny. Girl, that's dirty.

Oracle: All is fair in love and war.

Batman: What is his background?

Red Robin: As far as I can see, he is pretty clean. There is even what I suspect some vigilante works that he might have done because he is related to the disbandment of GIW that were supported by both his parents and his godfather. But after some digging into the old GIW files, there are traces of Danny and his friends helping the local ghost hero fighting either other ghosts or the agents themselves. There was also the unexplained money that he suddenly had early on in his career as CEO but so far, it doesn't seem like anything bad.

Robin: Hmmm.

Red Robin: What is it brat?

Robin: I feel like his face is very familiar.

Batman: Explain.

Robin: I need to confirm this with mother. But I am fairly certain that his ancestors have connections with the Al Ghul.

Red Robin: As in blood related?

Robin: No. But there is a book that mother finds about a man who has a very similar appearance to him. The book tells the tale of a kind immortal who spends his lives helping others while learning stuff from them.

Spoiler: A cult of assassins teach young children to be kind?

Robin: Shut it, Brown. I am not finished. The part of the story that interests me is the tale called The Beheader of Demon.

Spoiler: I take it back. That sounds like something a cult of assassins will teach young children.

Robin: The tale tells a story of the immortal meeting a demon who kills people just to find immortality. When the demon finds out that the immortal is well, immortal, he pursues the immortal, trying to kill him and forces the immortal to give away his immortality to him.

Red Robin: What happened next?

Robin: The Demon's head is severed and the Demon's subordinates run away bringing the Demon's body to the pool of revival.

Spoiler: So is this a true story?

Robin: Mother confirms it is a true story. I do not know whether he is a true immortal or not. However, I do know that his ancestors or maybe even him, is good enough to beat grandfather even if he has backup.

Red Hood: What about the other tales?

Robin: There is nothing of note. Some mention of the immortal's supernatural ability, like summoning the dead or the ability to move mountains and divert rivers.

Red Robin: That is not something to take note of?

Robin: No. Because in those stories, the only consistent thing about him is that he is kind. Never harm someone unless provoked.

Batman: Compile all the tales into a file. Red Robin, lists out all the possible powers of target.

Oracle: Oh wow. My date is now a target. How could this get better?

Red Hood: If he is really dangerous, I volunteer to stalk monitor them while they are on the date.

Oracle & Batman: No!

Red Hood: Tsk! Party pooper.

Batman: Red Robin and Spoiler, follow them. Priority is keeping Oracle safe.

Red Robin & Spoiler: *High five* Let's go.

Oracle: Ugghhh, you all better don't mess with my date. Or else I'll make sure you regret it.

Part 3

[reiderwriter]

Here Isn't Where I Wanna Be

Chapter Four of I Can't Help Myself

Summary: With Spencer gone, you find yourself spiralling into anger again until a new friend - and a silver lining to your entire situation - appears.

Warnings: Unplanned pregnancy, mentions of the smut in the last chapter in detail, no explicit smut.

A/N: And so we get to it - the plot!! If you're enjoying the series, let me know in the replies or in my inbox, and feedback is greatly appreciated~♡

Masterlist || Add yourself to the taglist

With Mondays back to normal, you were surprised to find yourself still under the weather the day after Spencer had left you. 

Walking into your office, your body anticipated the fight, muscles tensing, heart beating, blood pumping as you opened the door to your office. Logically, you knew he wouldn't be there. He'd practically shouted it at you the Saturday before. But seeing the vacant desk left you angry once again. 

Tense for a fight, you couldn't stop pacing back and forth in your office as the hours ticked on. A small part of you had hoped that the activities you'd indulged in during the weekend - and indulged was the word for whatever it was you'd done - had simply been your over active imagination once again. 

But even though Spencer has cleaned you up to the best of his ability, had left you in your bed in fresh clothes and tucked under the covers, he couldn't erase the traces of himself on your skin or in your apartment. 

The files you'd both thrown around on the tables were still strewn haphazardly around, the tangle of last night's clothes still discarded suggestively in a line to your couch. He'd washed you up, sure enough, and you'd found a towel and wash cloth in your laundry basket the next morning, but he'd not done a thorough job and you found yourself washing all traces of your activities away from your inner thighs still. 

So, yes. You paced in your office, and you waged a silent war against the empty desk. 

The first week, you were sure they'd come to collect it, to move it elsewhere. 

After all, his time with you - with the university - was done. 

After two weeks, you started spreading yourself out across both desks, twisting them around into an inverted L space so you could roll your chair between the two of them. You stacked books on the stupid reminder of him, you used it as a dining table on late nights and short lunch breaks, you kicked your feet up on it as you read and acted as though it were yours and had never been anyone else's. 

And then you got angry enough that you unblocked Spencer Reid's number. 

You were raging and suffering this torment alone, and why should you be? You'd made a mistake with the case files, sure, but you'd been driven to it by his cockiness, his actions. You deserved the chance to make his life hell one last time as well. 

You took yourself home that night, wrapped yourself in a blanket and pulled your laptop in front of you, and unblocked his number. 

Immediately, you put the phone down and opened your emails. 

You'd take responsibility for the messages, sure, but you had not blocked his email. Searching through the files, you looked through your department database for his work email, searched your inbox for his messages, and came up blank. 

It took you two hours of traipsing through each email - admittedly, you'd probably signed up to one to many mailing list - just to be sure. You finally turned to your spam folder, and there it was. 

“Son of a bitch,” you muttered under your breath as you looked through ten emails. Ten emails from his FBI email account. No wonder they hadn't gotten throug, it was an unauthorised email on a company server. 

You only grew angrier as you read through the messages. 

“Y/N, I have reason to believe you have a file I need as soon as possible. Please message me back as soon as you get this. Spencer.”

“Y/N. I haven't received word from you in 24 hours. If there's something wrong, please reach out. If you're being stubborn, I hope you see reason. Spencer.”

“Y/N. I have your address. If you don't reply in the next four hours, I will be paying you a visit to collect the file myself. You have blocked my number and resisted adult conversation, and I am tired of playing these games. Spencer.”

Sick of playing games? 

From the man that had been playing jenga and scrabble with your bookshelves, that was absolutely rich. You may have worked out that nights frustrations with him easily, but you found yourself angry all over again.

You hadn't even checked your phone yet either, sure that he'd blown that up too until he figured out his number was blocked. 

He'd found your address. He'd practically stalked you to get what he wanted, and then he'd just washed his hands of you the night after? 

It had been a month, and you were still frustrated. 

Your stomach flipped, bike rising in your throat as your anger burned through you.

If he could find you, you sure as hell could find him. You'd assumed he'd found your address through work, and realised it was just as easy to find his as well.  

Before you could stop yourself, you were loading yourself into a car at 8 pm. and driving across the city to Spencer Reid's apartment. 

The red blurring your vision didn't fade until you sounded against his door and were greeted with an entirely too feminine “I'm coming!” 

The woman who opened the door was blonde and cute and sweet, and she had a wonderful smile. You were going to rip Spencer Reid's throat from his chest. 

“I-I’m sorry, I was told this is Spencer Reid's apartment,” you said, trying your best to disappear into the night.

“Oh, yes. Can I help you?” 

“No. No, I'm sorry, I- I don't need help.” 

You must've looked uneasy in that second because before you knew it, the woman was inviting you inside for a hot drink, taking your few seconds of hesitancy to push down your guards completely. 

“Spencer doesn't keep much here in terms of food, but I know there has to be some…aha! Coffee!” 

“No, thank you, really I'm alright, I should leave-” 

In another two minutes, she'd talked you into sitting down and had put a mug in your hands. In a miracle turn of events, you'd actually relaxed enough to take in your surroundings. 

It was like you'd stepped back into your work office. Spencer's apartment, or at least the main living space, was filled with books. There were stacks everywhere, the shelves alphabetised - obviously - and looking neatly chaotic. 

You wanted to examine everything, every picture, every trinket on the shelf, every weakness he had that you could exploit. You wanted to know him. 

“S-So,” you started, turning back to the woman who'd sat herself down in a chair opposite you, staring at you excitedly. “How long have you and Spencer been dating?” 

The woman spluttered her coffee before sending up a howl of laughter that had your cheeks heating. 

Okay. Misunderstanding. You were less pissed at Spencer, but only a fraction.

“Oh, god, the idea of me and the good doctor is incredibly ridiculous. No, it feels incestuous, actually. Really, like shivers down my spine type stuff.”

“So you're his sister?” You asked, even though you knew the answer. Spencer was an only child. You had spent three months with him, you knew at least that much about him. 

“I'm Penelope, I work with Spencer. He's on a case right now, and I came to find him a book.” 

“A book?” You asked again, taking another sip of your drink. Mistake aside, you felt comfortable sitting with her. The couch was comfy, the entire apartment was damn cosy, and it smelt….

Your spine straightened when you realised it smelt like he did, when you realised that thought was somehow a comfort to you. Your stomach had settled for the first time in a week, and the nausea leaving your body after four weeks of anger had made you sick. 

“Yeah, we've been working back to back cases, so he didn't have time to come back and pick up materials, so here I am as his little fairy godfriend to send him a care package.” 

You laughed gently and pulled your feet underneath you on the couch, curling up again. 

“He doesn't deserve you.” 

“What makes you say that?” Her face was open. Her tone was light  but you felt that you'd just walked into a trap. Even though Penelope had described her role on the team to you (not a profiler, not a big risk), you couldn't help but feel as though you were walking into a trap. 

“Well, he's… he's… You know the man better than I do, right? He's infuriating.”

She raised an eyebrow and gave you a smile but didn't say a word. 

“He's domineering. He thinks his way is the best way, he- he- he rearranged my bookshelves!” 

And my guts, you thought to yourself, holding your tongue just quick enough to not let that slip out. You still weren't sure where you stood on the sex. It was good. It was great. It was more than great, and yet you'd hated him until the very second he put his lips on yours, and you hated him again when you'd woken the next morning. Surely that meant that you'd still hated him while fucking him, that you'd just been temporarily blinded by lust? 

“Your bookshelves?” 

“At the university. Sorry, I- I didn't introduce myself, did I?” You told her your name, how you'd met Spencer and regaled her with tales of your office antics. 

“Penelope you, you should've seen the look on his face. It was priceless! Like a deer in headlights, his eyes were so wide, it was adorable,” you said, recounting the run-in with the student. 

“And then, infuriating man, he said he'd spent all day looking at me, but like, with the books-” 

You realised after five minutes of talking that Penelope had gone completely quiet, just grinning. Uncharacteristically quiet. You'd known her less than an hour, and you knew it was uncharacteristic for her to be so quiet. 

“So you hate him?” She asked, noticing your abrupt stop. 

“I- yes. Yes, I did. I do."

“It doesn't sound like you-” 

“We- we parted on really bad terms. I think. I took one of your files accidentally, and he was very angry, we both said some things-” And did some other things, you thought. 

“Things that I'm sure we both regret.” 

“Oh my god-” the other woman said, suddenly going wide-eyed and jumping up from the couch. 

“You're the- you're the reason he was late! He's never been late, never, apart from - well anyway he's never late but he was late and… oh Miss Y/N, you're not telling me everything!” 

“What? N-No, I don't know what you're-” 

“Luke owes me $20. This is wonderful. Look at me, I'm not even a fancy shmancy profiler or anything!” 

“Penelope please-” 

She heard the plea in your tone and sat down again, zipping her lips up and throwing away a non-existent key. 

“While we were…arguing, he accused me of having blocked his email, ignoring him on purpose. I found out today that he emailed from his FBI account and not his university email-” 

“So it was sent to your spam folder? Yeah, it happens all the time.” 

You shot her a tired look, and she repeated her action. Lips zipped, key thrown.

“I came here to….” To what? Fight with him again? See him again? To one up him? To kiss him again, feel his hands on you, feel his fingers inside of you, his tongue on your clit as you rode his face again, his hands around your throat as you came on his dick, as he blew his load inside you, filling you with his cum- 

“Shit.” 

“Shit? What's… what is shit, Y/N? Please enlighten me, because everything seems very not shit to me right now, other than the fact that I'm due a video call from our boy wonder soon and I haven't located this book yet.

You counted in your head and then recounted again as all the blood drained from your body. You didn't even want to acknowledge the fact that you'd come here just to see him again  using whatever old excuse you could find to get back into his arms (or more accurately, his bed). 

You counted, and you counted again until your brain fogged, and you couldn't even hear Penelope asking you if you were alright anymore. 

“Penelope, I- I think… Penelope, can you keep a secret?” 

“Yes, I can absolutely keep a secret. I'm a great secret keeper. Everyone says if you want a secret keeping, Penelope is your girl-” 

“Okay, that's- that's enough. I need to- shit, I need to go and get…” 

For the thousandth time since Spencer left, you stood up and started pacing. 

“Okay, now you're worrying me, friend I just made. Please don't freak out on me.” 

“I'm sorry, I'm going to freak out, I think I'm pregnant. Very much freaking out.”

All of a sudden, Penelope was up and pacing beside you. 

“Pregnant! With a baby? You think you're pregnant with a baby?”

“I don't see how I could be pregnant with anything else?” 

“You're sure?”

“No! I need a test or a sign from God or something.” 

The woman took a deep breath herself and then grabbed your shoulders, hauling you to her side. 

“Okay, breathe. You sit here, I’ll go pick up a test. Don't go anywhere and don't spiral. Rearrange the bookshelves of you must but don't. Leave. Okay?” 

You nodded, and she rushed out of the door in a whirlwind.

For at least ten minutes, you stayed completely still. It had been roughly seven weeks since your last period and 26 days since you and Spencer had sex. He hadn't pulled out. He hadn't worn a condom. He hadn't asked if you were on birth control. As much as you wanted to be angry, though, you hadn't told him to pull out. You hadn't stopped him and asked him to put on a condom, and if you were telling the truth, you enjoyed it all the more when he'd finished inside you. You'd forgotten that you'd gone off your birth control when you'd started your job, knowing that tenure came with health insurance and wanting to get the implant cheaper or included in your premium. 

What a brilliant plan.

Still, you weren't expecting this, and you were in a haze. 

Seven weeks. You'd missed a period, and you hadn't even noticed. 

You stopped spiralling when you paced into the bookshelves and started actually looking at the things laid about on his shelves. 

There were chess pieces, small rooks placed here and there, as if dropped and forgotten. Paper stuck out of the books at all different angles, and you noticed his looping scrawl on a few of them, his notes brief and indecipherable, but still bringing a faint smile to your lips. 

Then there were the pictures. There were a lot with an older woman you instantly recognised as his mother, and your heart softened as how they looked very protective of one another. Others showed him with his team, with Penelope, and a stern looking middle-aged man, two women, a happy looking, well-built man. There were weddings, faces that popped up here and there. There was a very young, very vulnerable looking Spencer playing chess with an older man. 

The room was filled with family, and you couldn't stop the tears from welling up in your eyes as you took in how much Spencer could love. 

He cared, and he cared deeply, and there were all these people in his life that enjoyed being around him. And he hated you. 

Your heart sank, and you were about to leave when Penelope appeared again, test in hand and gently pushed you into the bathroom. 

You took the test and waited. Penelope waited beside you, clutching your (clean) hands in hers as she talked you through her day, distracting you in the only way she could.

But your brain resisted everything, focused only on how you were about to grow a family with a man you knew didn't enjoy your company. 

“What am I going to do, Penelope?” You whispered, suddenly afraid of what your future looked like. 

“I can't - I can't raise a baby with a man that doesn't love me the way-” 

You ran a hand through your hair, biting your tongue quickly. 

“You don't have to answer me, but is it… is there a chance it could be Spencer's?” 

You nodded before you could even think of lying, too wrapped up in your mental to-do list building up and up and up. 

“It could be negative? This could just be panic and stress and-” 

You heard the alarm you'd set for the test go off and jumped up, sprinting into the bathroom. 

Two lines. What did two lines mean? Two lines meant baby. 

Baby. You were having a baby. 

“Y/N, what does it say?” Penelope asked from behind you. 

“It's… I'm…shit.” 

She came up behind you and looked herself, cursing the same way you did as she watched you for your reaction. 

There was a baby. You were going to have a baby. 

Okay. You could have a baby. You could bring a baby into this world. You just had to figure out how, and write a to-do list, and avoid telling your boss until you got tenure, and tell your parents, and tell Spencer. 

Spencer. 

You had to Spencer. You collapsed to the ground, mumbling to yourself as Penelope fanned you with her hands, squeaking at your unresponsiveness. 

“Spencer…” you mumbled. “I have to tell Spencer.”

You blinked the fog out of your eyes and stood quickly, absent mindedly making a note to check if sudden movements were good for the baby or not. 

���Penelope, I need some help,” you said, moving to the living room and pulling our your phone. She trailed behind you, sending you a worrying look, and you thanked the heavens that you'd managed to run into the most forgiving angel of a woman on quite possible the best/worst day of your life. The jury waa still undecided. 

You snapped a picture of the shelves, and then, throwing your phone down, you started tearing each stack apart. 

Once you'd made a large enough gap in the stacks, you turned back to Penelope. 

“We're going to tell Spencer. Like this.” 

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[studiogrimm810]

Hello Grimm, how are you? :)

What are your thoughts on Dean or Sam with a reader who gets cranky or moody when they get woken up when they haven't gotten enough sleep. Cause let's be honest how are they not with how little sleep they be getting.

(I dont know about you, but me personally, I can get so moody when someone just wakes me up when I have had little sleep)

hello, anon, im sleepy but still obsessed w spn heheh :)

i am SUCH a drama queen when it comes to sleep fr, if i get less than 9 hours i feel like hell (got 5 last night and want to die /j) if i was on the road constantly like sam and dean i think i would actually loose my mind. not to delve much but i’ve recently squeezed a trip to my home state in a weekend and still worked full weeks before and after. the drive was long and we woke up too early to make it to places and im so desperate for like 3 days of sleep. okay,, too much personal rambling- to the winchesters now!!

dean- i think most of the time, dean finds it endearing and even a little fun to mess with you. he loves riling you up and getting under your skin. he knows what its like to go on little sleep and he considers himself lucky that he doesn’t get a short fuse like you do, but he still can’t pocket the matches and kerosene he’s got when you wake up unceremoniously

however, he can tell when you’re really not in the mood for his comments and bitchiness. he knows you, he spends most of his free time studying you so that that statement stays true, so he knows when to pick and choose his battles

the rude awakenings that lead you to not only anger but dreadful aches of any given negative emotion can really ruin the day for you but dean is quick to handle anything he needs to to give you your space. he takes control of the situation so that all you have to do is be present and use your two legs to follow him. he trusts you, and knows you’re a damn good hunter even if your lack of sleep eats at you. but he still worries as he notices bags under your eyes when you’re taking down a vamp or pumping iron through a ghost

after the necessary tasks are completed, he leads you back to the Impala where he will play his music quietly and tuck you under the comforter he leaves in the back seat just for you. he even dips down his rearview to keep a close eye on you as you sleep… and maybe to make sure he can go back to bugging you when you wake back up

sam- if anyone understands crippling insomnia, its him. even if you don’t specifically suffer from such, he still understands the toll lack of sleep can do to a person. it’s quite unfortunate too that, as a hunter, you need so much sleep. and he knows him and his brother are lucky to be so functional on lack of shut-eye so he never comments on your excessive slumber

he knows your coffee or tea orders by heart, and also knows how they change depending on the weather and how much you may or may not have drank last night. he knows what breakfast foods you can stomach first thing and he knows how to approach you each time you’re woken up by something other than your internal clock

he likes to brush your hair back, running his nails from your temple back to your crown- but he’s careful to not get tangled in knots- or he’ll tickle his fingers down your back, using his nails here and there or lightly massaging the kinks in your shoulders

after draining hunts, he lies in the back seat with you, letting you lay in his lap or sometimes he’ll position himself so that you can be flush with his chest. he hates seeing you so zombie-like when you’ve gotten just a handful of hours to span over days of work, so he does whatever he can to coax you back into a peaceful sleep

despite his best efforts, you’re still grumpy and still have an attitude, but he considers that if you’re comfortable enough to sass him and bicker like you do in the first half hour of being awake, then he’s done his job in making himself a safe space for you

[alexbkrieger13]

Harder: "Underrated? I get enough recognition"

According to her coach, Bayern's Pernille Harder (31) is still underrated. She sees it differently, talks about her role, her goals - and the duel with her former club Wolfsburg.

Just in time for the start of the Champions League against Arsenal this Wednesday (6.45 p.m.) and the Bundesliga top match against Wolfsburg (Saturday, 5.45 p.m., both LIVE! on kicker), Germany's Footballer of the Year 2020 is back in top form. So a visit to the Oktoberfest was a perfect fit for the Dane Pernille Harder and her Bayern teammates.

According to her coach, Bayern's Pernille Harder (31) is still underestimated. She sees it differently, and talks about her role, her goals - and the duel with her former club Wolfsburg.

Pernille Harder recently scored three times against TSG Hoffenheim.

Pernille Harder recently scored three times against TSG Hoffenheim.IMAGO/DiZ-PiX

Just in time for the start of the Champions League against Arsenal this Wednesday (6.45 p.m.) and the Bundesliga top match against Wolfsburg (Saturday, 5.45 p.m., both LIVE! on kicker), Germany's 2020 footballer of the year is back in top form. So a visit to the Oktoberfest was a perfect fit for the Dane Pernille Harder and her Bayern teammates.

Ms. Harder, how was the trip to Oktoberfest with the team?

A good experience. It's always interesting to experience German culture, especially here in Bavaria. Last year I was there for the first time, now for the second time.

Do you like the hustle and bustle there?

It's always a nice experience and fun, but I don't have to go to Oktoberfest every weekend (laughs). I generally prefer quieter places.

You seem to have a very good atmosphere in the team. That's probably not least due to the results this year.

Yes, we're really well positioned, a close-knit group. That's also because we don't have a huge squad - everyone has an important role in the team. That contributes to the atmosphere. We win, we score a lot of goals.

Apart from the DFB Cup final against Wolfsburg, you haven't lost a single game this year.

There is a lot of self-confidence in the team. This is based on the many victories and the experience we have gained there. Even if we are behind, we have the confidence to come back. And we trust our style of play. The way we are now, the way we are playing, we have developed a lot as a team compared to a year ago.

You previously played for VfL Wolfsburg and FC Chelsea and won a series of titles there. Can you get used to winning?

I don't know if I'm used to it… you shouldn't take it for granted. I like it anyway (smiles). And sometimes you lose too. We don't want to sit back and rest on our laurels, we want to develop and get better.

Wolfsburg suffered a surprise 0-3 defeat to Frankfurt a week ago. Do you watch this or other Bundesliga games in your free time?

I watch the Bundesliga, our Bundesliga, whenever I can. We were still eating after our own game against Bremen when Frankfurt played Wolfsburg, so I could only watch on my phone.

Is Eintracht now the number one pursuer? Or, despite the mixed start to the season, is Wolfsburg still your next league opponent?

We definitely have an exciting league. Frankfurt and Wolfsburg will both fight for the top spots. It's all the more interesting, all the more fun, when there's more competition.

Between 2017 and 2020 you played for VfL - your first stop at a top European club.

I have good memories of it, it was a great time. For me, that was the point in my career where I went from being a relatively unknown player to an established player in Europe. I am grateful to VfL for putting their trust in me as a young player. I still have some good contacts there.

Let's move on to the Champions League. Your coach Alexander Straus says that FC Bayern "got the toughest possible opponents from some of the pots". Do you agree?

I think there are two difficult groups. We are in one of them. And yes, Juventus is probably the strongest team in pot 3. We have to concentrate on each game individually. If we are fully there in these games, we have a good chance of progressing.

In January, your teammate and partner Magdalena Eriksson said in a kicker interview that FC Barcelona and Olympique Lyon were the top favorites for the 2023/24 title. Has anything changed since then?

Barcelona will always be the top favorite at the moment. But we now have so much competition in women's football that not just one or two teams can win. I estimate that apart from Barca there are about eight that have the opportunity to get very far in this tournament.

Which ones are they?

We also have Lyon, Manchester City, Arsenal, Chelsea. And Juventus, AS Roma, Bayern and Wolfsburg.

So do you see yourself as being on a par with the other seven behind Barcelona?

It's all about the little things. When you're in the quarter-finals, it often depends on your form on the day.

But your coach thinks Arsenal are the top favourites in Group C.

Yes, difficult to say… It's been a while since we played against them. Arsenal are a great team with a lot of great players.

Who come to mind first?

Kim Little is important for them. Mariona Caldentey came from Barcelona, ​​a great player. For me she is already a key player, even though she is new to the team. Stina Blackstenius and Alessia Russo are worth mentioning, Frida Maanum has performed well this season. They have a lot of good players.

With Chelsea, they have won five of their eight games against Arsenal, and drawn two. So they know how to beat Arsenal.

We have to defend compactly. Arsenal want to play the game, they are good at finding gaps and spaces. We will have some good moments of transition, but we can also play our game with the ball. Maybe we have to defend a little more against them than we are used to. Without becoming passive, but being aggressive.

Then we play against Juventus. In the pre-season, you played 0-0 against the Italians. What do you remember from that?

Juventus played man-to-man, one-on-one, all over the field. That made the game very different to what we are used to. But this experience can also be an advantage for us.

Do you like this man-oriented defense of opposing teams?

I like it better when it is possible to find space. We don't come up against so many teams that play man-marking all over the field. Maybe some teams do that up front or in midfield - but not everywhere. We will prepare well for that.

Valerenga Oslo is the absolute underdog in your group. Or?

They are from pot 4, so on paper they are an underdog team, yes. I know a few players from there, including a Danish player (captain Janni Thomsen, editor's note), she is a really good player. It applies to all teams in the group stage: if you are not fully there on the day, any team can hurt you. Even Valerenga.

Why is FC Bayern better than in the previous season? Why is the season not ending in the group phase this time?

We are almost the same team as last season. But we have developed our game since then. We are more attuned to the way we want to play, both offensively and defensively. And our transition behavior has improved.

What do you think of the new Champions League mode from next season?

That will be interesting. The men are already gaining their first experiences with it. It's always fun to try something new.

Before the Bundesliga game against Hoffenheim (5:1) at the end of September, your coach said that you hadn't yet broken the deadlock. Then you scored three times in that very game. Did you also feel like you had broken the deadlock?

Of course, as an offensive player you always want to score your first goal of the season to get going. But I also try to concentrate on other things that I do on the pitch: creating chances and providing assists. For me, that's just as important as the goals. Even though I know that the media and the people around me like the goals more. But the goals come by themselves if the rest is right.

Straus also said that you were underestimated and didn't get the recognition you deserve.

(laughs) I think I get enough recognition, that's fine. I don't know if I'm underestimated. But I'm glad that the coach thinks I'm important to the team. That's the most important thing for me: that my team trusts that I'll deliver and that I get recognition from them.

Before you left the Bundesliga for England in the summer of 2020, it sometimes seemed as if you could score and set up goals at will. In the meantime, your opponents have gotten better.

We played differently with Wolfsburg than we do now at Bayern. That's why it's difficult for me to compare.

But you can compare the opponents.

That's right. The level in the Bundesliga has increased since then, no question about it. There has been a big development. Also that there are now more teams that are good with the ball. And almost all of them want to build up from the back through the goalkeeper.

Your coach sometimes uses you as a striker, sometimes as a ten, sometimes on the wing. Which position suits you best?

I prefer to move in the "space in between" (Harder uses the German term here for once; ed.), where I can pick up the ball and then turn. Thanks to our style of play, I can stay in the space in between, regardless of whether I'm a nine, ten or winger. So the exact position is actually not that important.

[lycomorpha]

Fun thing I've been doing this bank holiday weekend; starting work on the next Journal of Video Game Botany I'm making with my partner in botanical SciArt-crime, Dr. Maria Christodoulou. We've finally made up our minds to head to ancient Greece. I've been putting off doing an Assassin's Creed Odyssey zine because Maria 1) is Greek, and 2) has a botanical PhD. So... I have some anxiety that my part of this better be good, or she might not forgive me and her mum might never send me food again. Yikes! I think we finally have a plan, though.

AC Odyssey is one of my all-time favourite games, and I will never not love Kassandra. But working out how to botanise the world of this game was trickier than expected. Partly because we want to make each issue of JVGB different to the last, instead of just making it into a series of field guides. And partly because of our expectations of what we'd see, based on Greece IRL and what we know about its history....

Initially we thought about looking for plants in the friezes at in-game locations that have real-life equivalents with ancient wall art featuring plants. For example some of the Knossos friezes - one shows a blue bird on rocks surrounded by wild roses, lilies, vetch, and other flowers. But that didn't fly - most locations depicted in AC Odyssey have just 2 or 3 repeating murals throughout.

Wall art from Agamemnon's palace and tomb in AC Odyssey - based on art from real historical sites, but only a small number of the designs are repeated throughout the location.

The Cup-Bearer frieze - Reconstruction of frescos from the South Propylaeum of the Palace of Knossos

The same frieze in AC Odyssey is repeated across walls and rooms.

It's understandable that the complete body of known wall art for somewhere like Knossos wasn't replicated in its entirety! The game isn't intended as an ancient art tour, after all. Temple artwork was another source of botanical imagery in game, but suffered the same problem. Still, that's fair enough for a game not centered around botany. So we considered plants left as tributes in temples. But again, the items left in different locations were often generic and repeating. Although there are differences between temples to different deities in the game, the fruits and flowers we find in them didn't vary much. We needed a different kind of plan.

This temple from the Heraion of Argos in AC Odyssey has pomegranates and flower petals in the offerings... But so do many other temples in game.

The spring biome

Finally, we turned to the structure of the in-game world for inspiration. The landscape of ACO is designed as various 'biomes'. Some of the biomes are habitats, some are seasons. Think of them more as themes than biomes in a strict technical sense. Each region in the game had been designed to fit one biome/theme; spring, summer, deciduous forest, arid, volcanic, paradise islands, and underwater.

Unidentified seaweeds in the underwater biome.

So for each biome, we're going to choose a plant that exists both in-game and IRL, and explore its links to Greek mythology and culture. The drawings for each will be in the style of a particular type of ancient greek art - red and black figure potteries, mosaics, fresco, sculpture, etc.

Red figure pottery - Wedding of Thetis and Peleus. Attic red-figure pyxis, ca. 470–460 BC. From Athens, South side of Mouseion Hill.

~

That's the plan, and for this project I'm gonna write some posts and take you along with us. We haven't done that since looking into Medicinal valley's blush for HZD!

Choosing the plants is our first challenge. Some in-game flora are easy to line up with real species. Others... Not so much. Stay tuned.

[cursedwithcaution]

Okay so I posted my idea for a TOH human realm AU a few days ago and it is time for further elaboration [original post here]. I'm working on some art for it but it'll take some time for me to finish anything.

[CW: religious trauma and fundamentalist cult stuff]

[ty @my-geek-page-ill-rename-later and @pickledoesthetumbling for the questions]

Working title: Preacher's Kids Basic premise: Rev. Philip Wittebane is the pastor of First Church in Gravesfield, a small/historic church that is definitely not a cult (it's a cult); he raised Hunter from a young age (and Hunter is his actual nephew). Odalia Blight is a megachurch pastor/televangelist at Blessed Light Church and is raising Amity to follow in her footsteps. The teen characters go to GHS (and are slightly older).

Re: Gravesfield: In this AU, Gravesfield is somewhat different + larger than how it is in canon. The town as we know it does exist and is known colloquially as "Old Gravesfield," and First Church is located in the oldest part of town. "New Gravesfield" is, well, newer and has had a population boom in recent years. Blessed Light has about ~4,000 in-person attendants on a good weekend (a megachurch is typically defined as having at least 2,000 on a weekly basis), but is also nationally televised on Sundays and throughout the week. Gravesfield isn't a major city, but it's close enough to other towns + cities for people to commute to it for church.

Re: the Clawthornes: They are some of those who see that First Church is a cult, due to some personal history with the church. Dell and Gwendolyn have always lived in Gravesfield and are well-known and generally well-liked in the community. They're either non-religious or, like Pickle said in the comments, Christians who do not attend any church. Eda left town years ago and no one knows exactly why, though there have been plenty of salacious rumors over the years. Lilith is probably a librarian at the Gravesfield Public Library but I haven't officially decided yet.

Re: trying to beat the death cult allegations: People who don't go to First Church assume it's just a regular old stodgy church that smells kind of weird. The average Sunday sermon is just that: average. Regular fundamentalist stuff (i.e. homophobia, misogyny, purity culture). Calvinism (the basis of Puritanism) is what most evangelicals subscribe to, at least to some extent (most won't say this outright though), and so things that seem extreme to people who weren't raised around fundamentalism are relatively normal to people who were.

In terms of how Philip specifically deflects cult allegations: the illusion of choice. Basically, First Church puts on a front of community generosity, helping struggling families, providing meals for people living below the poverty line, things like that. However, all these things come with a heaping side of ~evangelism~ so you show up for free food or a 12-step support group and then BAM you're being told you're going to hell for cheating on a math test and that going to church and following Christ will save you. Not from suffering, just from hell.

Meanwhile, Blessed Light says going to church (or watching Odalia preach on TV) and following Christ and giving the church all your money will save you from suffering and from hell. Which is soooo much better (/sarc)

Cults do their best to not look like cults because people don't usually want to join A Cult. They do want community, spiritual fulfillment, certainty, routine, safety. There are differing levels of involvement--someone who just shows up and then leaves for Sunday service isn't going to think the church is a cult. Someone who shows up on Sundays and then stays for the potluck and then volunteers in the kids' ministry and then gets noticed by the pastor and gets let in on special sacred information and then only spends time with other people in the church and dedicates times and resources into the church and then scorns family members who don't believe and believe that this church's theology is the only valid theology and everyone else is going to hell and if they leave then they're going to hell too and also losing their community and routine and safety and certainty-- It doesn't usually happen all at once. They bring you in gradually, and by the time you realize what's happening, it may be too late.

I'll get into the specific inner workings of First Church in Gravesfield in a separate post at some point. It may seem like your average historical church with a slightly off-putting preacher, but strange things are happening behind the pulpit.

Taking any and all questions about this! I'm having a lot of fun brainstorming this idea :3

[charles-leclerc-official]

2024 China Grand Prix Race Analysis

Here is my full analysis of the 2024 Chinese Grand prix. I already covered the sprint in a separate post here.

The important thing to keep in mind about this weekend is that the Chinese track was a very unique surface. It caused a lot of unusual grip problems for many of the top teams. I think as a whole that this race saw some outlier results as far as car behavior goes.

Table of Contents Stake - Zhou - Valtteri Ferrari - Start - Charles: his race, vs Lando - Carlos - Data Analysis Mclaren - Lando - Oscar - Data Analysis Penalties - Logan - Kevin - Daniel - Lance VCARB Aston Martin Red Bull - Checo Final Thoughts

Stake

Zhou

I usually start these with Ferrari. However this is a special occasion. So we are starting the analysis by celebrating Zhou and his performance this weekend.

This was the first Chinese Grand Prix in Formula 1 history with a Chinese driver racing on track. Zhou Guanyu made history and considering the car he's in he gave a good performance for the home crowd. Between qualifying 10th in the sprint, making some pretty good overtakes during the race, and carrying his team after Valtteri's DNF it was a pretty good weekend all around.

It was so nice to see all of the home support for Zhou. He was given an honorary spot at parc fermé after the race, and I am so glad they did something special to highlight this moment for him and the country he is representing in F1.

Zhou driving this weekend really was the highlight. This was only ever going to happen once in F1. Glad I was here to see it.

Valtteri unfortunately suffered a power unit failure and had to retire from the race. No damage to the car. This did bring out the yellow flag and a VSC. And when the marshals were unable to roll the car off the track quickly enough it upgraded to a full safety car(don’t worry we will be coming back to this)

He was looking pretty good in the car until that point, actually getting close to the points. I think we might see Stake in the points this year if they ever get their pit stops under control.

Ferrari

Ferrari's race was probably the weakest for the team so far this season. It wasn't really a surprise though. The cooler temperatures and inconsistent track surface were not ideal for the SF24.

Charles started in P6 and finished P4, Carlos started P7 and finished P5.

I do consider this not to be indicative of any downward trend for Ferrari. It was pretty predictable and it did not reveal any issues in the SF-24 we weren't already aware of (tyre warming)

Ferrari did say that they sacrificed more in qualifying in favor of a better race setup. And I don't think this was necessarily a bad idea. It's impossible to say if a different setup might have put them higher and if they have been able to defend with that setup. Going for a more race focused setup and relying on the better tyre deg to be able to allow for overtaking is a pretty good plan, especially if they didn't think they could get much more out of qualifying.

This did mean that we got to see some proper overtakes in the SF-24 from Charles and that is something we just haven't seen a lot of this season so far. So seeing how it handles in that regard was good.

So the big question is, why did Ferrari suddenly end up behind a Mclaren when Ferrari have been easily beating them all season?

Well there are a few factors:

- Ferrari struggled this weekend with grip and failed to find the best balance in the car to maximize top speeds. They did sacrifice some downforce in favor of speed during the race but I don't think it was enough. It didn't do enough to help the top speeds and it sacrificed grip so we ended up a weird middle ground that didn't optimize either problem. This track surface really made it so hard to figure out the right direction for setup.

- Mclaren(Lando) were stronger than expected. Lando was really the one pulling performance out of that car.

I will point out some key areas on this in the data analysis section as well.

Race Start

The most notable thing about Ferrari’s race was the start, when Carlos compromised his and Charles’ start by attacking right into turn 1. This forced Charles to have to defend(something he should not have to do right off the race start from his own teammate who started behind) and this resulted in them both immediately losing a place to Russell. This was a place they both had to fight to make up.

Again, this kind of thing isn’t good when compromising the results for the whole team is the result.

Footage Analysis

Just so we are clear about who is responsible for the loss of placement I want to show the footage from this start. This is from Carlos' driver cam footage as it most clearly shows what happened.

Charles starts P6 with Carlos behind him in P7. George is behind them in P8.

Into turn 1 Charles has the inside line, very clearly. Carlos has the outside line into the turn, this is fine. Charles is also clearly ahead.

Carlos pushes inside more, putting pressure on Charles. Notice how much closer Carlos got and how much space he left on the outside(another vulnerability he left open)

Charles pushes Carlos back(to defend which he has to do if attacked especially into a crowded corner like that a the race start)

Charles then took full position in front of Carlos, and this allowed George to slip past both of them on the inside line.

Because Carlos forced Charles to defend George was able to take that inside line that Charles had and passed both of them, dropping Charles and Carlos down a place.

Charles cannot defend both the outside and inside line on his own. He defended against the car that put pressure on him first. His teammate should not be the main one he has to defend team track position against.

Carlos compromised Charles' ability to defend position against George(which is the priority, he's on a rival team that is more important than racing between teammates)

Again if he is attacked Charles has to defend, why would he give up the place to the teammate he was faster than? Nothing would have happened if Carlos hadn’t pulled this move. Charles would have kept George behind and they might have been able to overtake earlier in the race and gain one more position, because they lost a full position to George this early they had to take that back before they could make progress climbing further up the field.

Carlos

This was Carlos' weakest performance so far this year. He compromised the race start for himself and Ferrari causing them both to lose placement immediately. Then he was unable to overtake. The only real overtakes he's pulled off were on cars with seriously compromised brakes.

He struggled with grip and tyres more than Charles. They both had issues in this area but it was more noticeable in his performance.

Charles finished 10.36 seconds ahead of his teammate who was directly behind him in the final 13 laps this race. And that gap can be explained by the fact Carlos was stuck behind Fernando for more laps(as well as a pit stop), however once he got into clean air he did not make up any time at all, his pace didn’t gain on Charles at all with the clean air. A gap in pace that big between teammates is concerning(at least for Carlos) It may be due to his personal choice of setup, or tyre management, or grip in the track. Given that he had more issues with grip on this track I am thinking that was a factor. He lost most of his time on turns 1, 5, 7, 8, and 10.

Edit: also Carlos did pit under normal conditions while Charles pitted under the safety car, this saved Charles some time(aprox 7-8 seconds), however the main point stands that Carlos did not make any progress closing the gap between them.

Charles

Charles' overtakes climbing up the field really saved Ferrari's race. Starting off by losing a position he climbed up places pulling some really clean overtakes and also helping his teammate through.

It was great to see him doing some overtaking in this car, he hasn't been in the position to do much of that due to track position etc in previous races. SF-24 looked good on that front in his hands.

Charles mentioned the lack of speed on straights, and this is due to the fact he wasn't able to gain on Lando in those sections(when he should have) this is due to the less than optimal downforce balance Ferrari went with this weekend(again I don't this is anything terribly concerning, this was a hard track to get that right on)

Overall Charles ran a really good race, obviously not the results he wanted but he extremely optimistic about the upgrades and that they will address some of the current limitations of the SF-24.

Data Analysis

I want to compare Charles and Lando's pace to highlight where Mclaren had the edge on Ferrari in this race. Charles was the fastest Ferrari this weekend and Lando was the fastest Mclaren.

First here is a breakdown of the fastest lap both driver's set.

Lando's straight line speed was really a big factor in keeping him ahead. That plus the fact he was consistently strong in sector 2.

And here is a look at the overall race pace between the two.

Ignore the mess in the middle, that curve is just correcting a slope for the outlier laps due to yellow flag and safety car conditions. It's not important here.

Lando had the edge on Charles almost the entire race. Until the end on the old hards.

What is important is that Lando had the pace on the new hards. Charles didn’t have the time to catch Lando once he managed to gain the places. He probably would have without the yellow flags and if track placement was better. The point being that Ferrari’s pace was off this weekend but it wasn’t as bad as it looked on track, there were other factors at play.

I think this result was a combination of a sub-optimal setup for this track on Ferrari's part on top of the fact this wasn't Ferrari’s strongest track, and Mclaren getting things right for Lando. Also some fairly solid driving from Lando.

Now I want to compare Charles' and Carlos' fastest laps and pace. This was the biggest gap in performance we've seen so far this year between the two Ferraris. Some of that I will attribute to the fact this track was weird as far as track surface goes, but such a big difference between teammates like this means it wasn't just the car or the track surface. While both were not great with grip or setup this weekend one outperformed the other by a decent margin.

Here is a look at Charles' and Carlos' fastest laps.

Charles having better straight line speed consistently and putting in a strong sector three is what put him ahead of Carlos and kept him there for the entire race.

Now here is the full race pace.

Again remember to ignore the weird lines in the middle that is just the graphing tool not able to create a good slope for all the safety car laps.

But you can see that Charles' pace was better the entire race, on both the medium and the hard tyres.

I don't think there was a lot more to get out of this weekend for Ferrari. It's possible managing the pits a little differently would have gotten Charles up to third but with the yellow flag chaos It was really difficult to gauge in real time when the best time to pit was. I think the pit management was good. We can look back and go "oh we could have gained a place here" So I have no issues there.

Hopefully that clears up some questions about Ferrari's overall race and car performance this weekend.

Overall this was still decent points for the constructors’ and we saw some good racing from Charles. I do fully believe we will be seeing Ferrari come back stronger in Miami.

Mclaren

Why was Mclaren, specifically Lando, so strong this weekend?

Well it's unclear.

They have had the clear #3 car so far this season. So I think that it's a combination of this not being a strong track for Ferrari and some conditions that favored their car that put them ahead.

No one, not even Mclaren expected this so I really think it seems like it comes down to this track being better for them than expected and Lando specifically being tuned into the track. Like after practice Lando was not feeling confident(his words) and the team were also not making any promises. I don’t think they were sandbagging, I think this genuinely all came together for them. 

Now it’s clear that Lando would have finished P3 behind Checo if it were not for the luck/strategy(a little of both they timed that well, but also had to get lucky with Red Bull timing) with the pits. Red Bull lost track position to Lando when they pitted Checo and they were unable to take it back. If Red Bull had timed their stop better Lando would have been P3 because his pace was not going to catch Checo if he was ahead.

So the P2 is due to some good driving on Lando’s part and Red Bull giving up track position and failing to recover it.

Oscar struggled more on this track. However he wasn't far outside where we've seen him in other races and for Mclaren in general. So he wasn’t under-performing, Lando was over performing. I also want to note that Oscar was slightly damaged during the crash between Lance and Dani, Dani's front wing tapped the rear of his car and there may have been a small amount of damage, important to note as he may have been compromised on pace due to this.

Data Analysis

Comparison of Lando and Checo’s pace

The first half of the race isn’t as important, the graph is very odd in the middle due to all of the outlier laps caused by the yellow flags, so that is not important. What I want to point out is that Lando was on the same pace as Checo(or slightly better) for those first 6 laps after the race started again when all the yellow flags were done, but after that Checo was faster until the end of the race. Not enough to catch Lando, but enough that Lando would not have been able to pass him if he hadn’t had track position.

Now here is a quick look at Lando and Oscar's pace.

There isn't a ton to dissect here, Lando was faster the entire race, by a pretty big margin on the hards especially. Given that a lot of drivers this race had issues managing deg on the hards I think that second stint gap really came down to tyre management, an area where Oscar is still improving.

Here is a look at their fastest laps to really see where Lando was making those bigger gains and where Oscar was struggling.

One thing that I find interesting is that Oscar's fastest lap had a section of DRS, Lando's didn't and Lando was still a full second faster. Just a really solid lap from Lando all around. His strength in sector 2 is what really gave him an edge all race.

Overall this was Mclaren’s best finish, but their strongest weekend overall so far this season is still Australia(because both drivers had a strong finish not just one)

Penalties and Incidents

Welcome to the “everyone gets a penalty!” section of the analysis. This was a mess to unravel. After reviewing the footage and reading the stewards judgements as well as the driver and teams statements I have come to a lot of the same conclusions as the stewards. 

The middle of this race was a mess. One yellow flag had just ended before another had to be brought out again. 

There were two yellow flags this race, the first after Valtteri DNF'ed and the second due to multiple incidents right after the end of the first yellow flag. 

My biggest critique is that the VSC was deployed weirdly late. They seemed about 10 to 20 seconds off in calling for one, and that is concerning. A driver on the side of the track is at risk, so it’s important to make sure a race is slowed immediately.

Logan: overtook under safety car conditions after the VSC was enacted when Valtteri’s power unit failed. Nico was coming out of the pitlane as Logan was coming down the straight, Nico managed to barely exit in front of Logan, but Logan’s faster momentum into turn 1 put him ahead of Nico, and thus he overtook under a yellow flag. Time penalty and license points is an appropriate penalty. I have no idea why his team didn’t get him to slow down more. They said they missed Nico, which I really don't know how. Lack of track observation. This was a failure of the team as much as it was sloppy on Logan's part. I think he would have slowed more had the team actually noticed this sooner.

Kevin: Kevin made contact with Yuki going out of turn 6 right after the race restart. He broke late and made contact with Yuki’s rear wheel and this led to a tyre puncture. Yuki had to retire from the race. Kevin was clearly at fault here, he failed to brake when catching Yuki.

Daniel: Dani was penalized for overtaking under a yellow flag and a safety car. He did this deliberately because Nico took a place from him and he thought it was okay to take that spot back. However he should have waited for the race to resume under green light conditions before doing that. He knows better. What happened with Nico is a little murky as far as why he took a position and why he did not get penalized. I think it's because it was right before the safety car but the FIA reporting on that isn't clear.

Lance: At turn 14 Lance rear ended Daniel after the first safety car had ended they were waiting on Max to restart the race. Max was leading the race and setting the pace until proper racing speeds could resume. Lance is at fault here, it’s that simple. This was seriously negligent driving on his part. I really have no idea what he was doing but no competent driver does this. I will agree with Oscar in the sentiment that everyone was crowded together, only one person crashed into another car in that scenario. 

“Yes, but not everyone decided to crash into each other.” - Oscar 

Lance argued that it was the concertina effect, and said the stewards should account for that. This is a weak argument at best. The concertina effect is to describe car behavior on track, it isn’t an excuse. Going into a corner a driver who is supposedly one of the best in the world should know how to account for that effect. The fact is that he was going too fast into that corner and not paying attention to the car in front of him.  

Furthermore his lack of accountability and attempts to blame everyone but himself for the incident is not a good look. He is very clearly in the wrong here. I think that the penalty he received might be on the gentle side of things as well. Personally I would have liked to see a 20 second time penalty for that, or a grid penalty. 

I agree with Dani’s statement that Lance should have only been paying attention to the car in front of him. He clearly wasn’t doing that, or at least not well enough. He appears to be looking at Max and Oscar waiting for Max to restart the race. But that is not where he should have been looking. Additionally Dani pointed out that Lance’s speed there was too much, he put half his car under Dani, that’s not the concertina effect, that is going too fast. 

Dani of course is heated, and I feel that for him, he DNF'ed because of the carelessness of another driver through no real fault of his own. I don’t think continuing to argue is good on either side, but he has every right to be mad, especially when the offending driver refuses to admit his fault. Two DNFs in a row is hard for any driver. Lance really cost him a lot. 

This isn’t just sloppy driving on Lance’s part, it's outright negligent.

VCARB

Quick note about VCARB. Dani was on track for his best performance all year this weekend. Which makes the DNF all the more upsetting. Yuki struggled with this track all weekend, seems he was not feeling this track or that car. I will say his performance seems like an anomaly compared with the rest of his season so far so I don’t think it’s cause for concern for future races. 

VCARB as a team were obviously the worst off this weekend with both driver’s DNF'ing at no fault of their own.

Aston Martin

I already covered Lance, so I want to just quickly mention that Fernando was on fire this weekend. He was defending, and had that car in places it really had no business being. His recovery from the close spin, the defending, the overtakes. He really is just continuing to show his skill and experience, and he overall had one of the best drives of the entire race.

Red Bull

Max won the race, and it was a pretty clean race for him, which is amusing due to the utter chaos happening behind him. First time he has won at this track, so that is another track conquered by Max. Well done Max!

Sergio

Checo’s race wasn’t actually that bad. He was comfortably in P2 until Red Bull gave up track position and he wasn’t able to recover the place from Lando. I already compared the pace between those two. But I think it’s pretty clear that he would have been P2 were it not for the pits. If he has position he has the pace to keep the spot. However he does not have the same pace Max has in the RB20 to take lost positions back if the car ahead has similar pace. 

I also want to note here that there were a few corners where it was pointed out that Alpine and Williams were outperforming Ferrari on. However taking a look at the data it wasn’t just Ferrari. Pierre was literally faster than Max in that corner consistently. What this tells me is that something about the unusual grip of this track was not suited to any of the fastest cars. So it’s not a Ferrari problem, or a Red Bull problem, it’s just highlighting an unusual quirk of the track that no one really figured out this weekend.

Here is a fastest lap comparison of Pierre and Max. Obviously Max is the best driver in the best car, so I think this just highlights my point about certain corners especially turns 1, 2, and 3. There was something off there that gave the edge to some midfield cars are far as grip goes. All top cars struggled for speed on those turns and I think it was due to weird track surface conditions.

Final Thoughts

This was the most chaotic race of the season. Hopefully we have a penalty free race next time.

See you when I return with Miami GP analysis!

[cakeisnotpie]

Cake's Review of Thunderbolts*

As usual, only non-spoilers above the break -- to read the full review, click on read more.

Saw Thunderbolts* last weekend and I really liked it. It's a tightly plotted three acts that make sense and builds to NOT a big bombastic fight scene ending, but a different kind of showdown with the "villain" (and I use that term loosely). Very happy with the fact it feels like a coherent story and not that ugly plotting by committee we've seen in the last few MCU films. The writers do a great job making me like even the most unlikeable of characters *cough* John Walker *cough*. Florence Pugh fucking walks away with the movie; she's the linch pin and does an amazing job of deepening Yelena's character.

Overall, I'd give it an A. Is it perfect? Nope. But it's a fun movie with the attempt to deal with some darker issues like mental health, depression, and self-worth, and I give it all sorts of prop for trying.

The Good

Florence Pugh's Yelena -- seriously this woman can fucking act. She imbues hopelessness right down to her eyes and her walk. The opening vignette does more than just tell us Yelena's mindset, it SHOWS us how lost she is. And she maintains it throughout. Even when she's fighting Sentry, we can see how much she doesn't want to do this. She anchors the whole movie and makes it more than just a perherobig flick.

A plot that makes sense and good character development -- the movie is tightly scripted in a way more recent MCU flicks haven't been. There's really only three segments -- the trap to kill them all, the realization of Val's ultimate plan for Bob, and the final "saving" of Bob -- and they're easily connected. I mean, it's sad that this simple concept of basic scriptwriting 101 is a plus, but for once it didn't feel like a committee of studio and publicity and other non-creatives stuck their fingers into the pie. And, oh my God, the writers actually made John Walker likeable? Gave the team a real sense of why they worked together?

Real fight scenes and less CGI -- from Florence stepping off the top of that building to Stan's stunt double on the motorcycle, more of the action was done with real people and in real locations on the movie and it shows. Yes, there's definitely some CGI -- no way would they put people in a real elevator shaft that far up -- but the movie feels more grounded because they went old-fashioned on so many of the stunts.

The post-credit appearance of the Fantastic Four -- yes. Finally. A post-credit scene the forecasts a movie that's actually coming out and gets us excited for what's next.

The Middling

Mental Health Issues -- I applaud the director and writers for addressing the elephants in the room, i.e. PTSD, depression, anxiety, self-doubt, and other mental health issues. I mean, Fat Thor was the butt of "eat a salad" jokes back in Endgame, so we've come a long way to Bob/Sentry/Void. Yes, the MCU did deal with grief (WandaVision and Hawkeye) and other issues before, but in the movie they tried for a more nuanced approach -- and they mostly succeeded. As someone who suffers from depression and anxiety, I am so happy they didn't go with "Bob beats the Void into submission" or "It's part of you! Become one!" solutions that we see so often in pop psychology. I'm putting this in the middling category, tho, because I'm not sure "the power of friendship" is enough, but I'm giving them props for trying.

Shame Rooms -- speaking of the ending of the movie, I wish we'd gotten a shame room for everyone. Walker's being his failed marriage/fatherhood fits and Yelena has lots of fodder from the Red Room. But what about Ghost? There was a lot to mine there from Antman and Wasp. And Bucky? So many choices. And you can't tell me that Alexei's wouldn't have been the saddest of them all what with the tears of the clown. It would have made the final moment of them all hugging and pulling Bob back so much stronger if we'd gotten moments of everyone's self-doubt.

Bucky's crisis -- I feel like something got cut out somewhere and we're missing a few scenes where Bucky realizes he really doesn't want to read the packet or wait for the committee. He goes from talking to the Senator to riding on the motorcycle without any inbetween. Not that I'm complaining about the motorcycle. Not at all.

The Worst

Time and distance mean nothing -- where exactly was the facility they had Bob at? Close enough that Alexei could drive there from D.C. after hearing Val's plans, but far enough that nobody noticed the explosion and it was in the desert???? They jump around from place to place so fast, some in cars, some in helicopters, and it doesn't make any sense.

Are Sam and Bucky on the outs? I get the joke about copyright/trademark infringement, but Sam and Bucky were last seen being buddies in Brave New World, so what the fuck happened? Are we sacrificing their friendship to push the MCU narrative like we've done so many times before? *cough* Steve going back to Peggy and leaving Bucky *cough* (never giving that one up)

Valentina -- this woman is running around blowing up facilities, hiring massive armies of muscle, buying Avengers Tower, killing people right and left out in the open, and they can't find any evidence of wrong doing? I mean most CIA directors stay under the radar and hide their fucked up shit behind shadowy conspiracies. She's just in their face, holding press conferences, and smarting off to Congress. Tony Stark can get away with it because he's a private businessman. She feels like she's in a big campy superhero movie, not the more grounded Thunderbolts*

[jazlynriddle-legacy]

Welcome to your life - Pt 3:

It's My Own Design Ch 1:

Summary:

Ominis fought to control his expression, to keep his hands from trembling. Five years. Five years since he'd seen his parents, and this. This was the reason they'd given him the honour of their time? This was the reason they'd sought him out at Hogwarts?

The bitterness welling up within him was thick enough to gag on.

New year, new allies, new responsibilities, new avenues of revenue, and new aspects of their own Ancient Magic to explore. As the Keeper and their partners enter their last year at Hogwarts, it remains to be seen if the new school year will bring with it new problems or adversaries, but they are confident in the strength of their relationship with Sebastian and Ominis. The three of them would endure, no matter what befell them.

And if they were wrong?

What a joke, they would suffer no alternative.

Warnings: Sebastian x MC x Ominis! Drug Addiction! Spoilers! Slow-burn corruption! Dark content! Fucked up 1800s orphanages! MC has no love for Anne or Solomon! Dubious happy ending (it's happy for MC, Seb and Ominis at least).

You can also read on AO3! (chapter specific warnings below)

Notes:

Whoo! Part Three here we go! This prologuey chapter is a, pretty short but hopefully good, opening into the third major arc, and our kids’ last year at Hogwarts! Part One and Two were mostly character building and establishing dynamics. This part Three, is where I'll begin setting up more plot-heavy things for the intense fourth and final major arc. That last arc is gonna be crazy =D (Also, first smut scene is Chapter 4 and it's rather BDSM flavoured)

I will, however, be changing my upload schedule to once every two weeks, because as much as I love writing this, once a week is starting to chafe, especially since I've been writing longer and longer chapters x’)

I've literally been spending every free moment writing, and I miss actually playing games, I haven't even had time to play Tears of the Kingdom despite having it since it launched- TvT

Plus, my beta and beloved boyfriend has been running himself ragged trying to keep up with my pace and I feel really bad about that, so I wanna give him more breathing room-

So, the next upload will be the same day, same time, every second Sat noon PST, just like, skipping one weekend upload. Basically alternating my upload day, hope you don't mind! ><

Now, without further ado, let the curtains rise on our Third Act!

A soft pop echoed through the Elves’ Quarters, as Tibsy appeared in the doorway, just a few metres away from the small wooden desk that Tynx was seated at, logging the resources spent for the day in his report journal.

“Tibsy, how's Master's guests?” Tynx greeted without turning around as the young elf made her way through the room's lower floor, dwarfed by the two large trays of empty cutlery in her arms.

Her small shoes tapped softly against the brown brick floor of the lower half of the room, shuffling past the ladder that led up to the upper portion where their small beds were placed, with curtains that they could draw around the beds for a semblance of privacy. She carefully weaved her way through the space between two small, comfortable beige armchairs and a quaint wooden tea-table, past two cabinets placed against the wall, also made from wood, as well as Tynx's desk, and into the elves’ small sized kitchen.

She then bypassed the short cast iron wood stove, that was placed against the wall and used for cooking as well as warming, along with a long stone counter in the middle of the room that was used both for preparing ingredients as well as serving as their dining table. Before passing another three wood cabinets, one containing kitchen tools, another for storing seasonings, herbs, and spices, and the third for raw ingredients, as well as several wooden barrels of grains and such.

Finally, she stopped by the sink and set down the two trays in the sink with a sigh.

“Tibsy is seeing Brown-hair still coughing blood.” Tibsy replied after a moment, snapping her fingers, and making the soapy sponge begin scrubbing the dirty dishes. “But he is eating the foods Tibsy is bringing him.”

“That's good, Sir Ominis did say he'd continue coughing for a while because he isn't healing the boy regularly.” Tynx nodded absently, rifling through his desk drawer, and withdrawing a sheet of parchment.

He'd been recording the boy's recovery progress over the last month, for the Master's partner, and he quickly jotted down Tibsy's report as she shuffled over to his desk.

“What is it, Tibsy?” Tynx asked after a moment, seeing her shift nervously as she stood silently beside him. “Did one of them try to hurt you again?”

“...no, Tibsy is-” She wrung her hands anxiously. “Tibsy is... being not sure how to feel.”

Tynx set down his quill and turned to sit sideways in his chair, facing her. “About what?”

“Master's guests... lady guest was hurt a lot, and Tibsy knows Black-hair's fingers was being cut for trying to hurt Tibsy... but..." Tibsy trailed off, pausing for a few moments, before continuing. “Is it really okay for Master to be hurting peoples?”

Tynx sighed, now that he thought about it, he supposed it should have been expected. Tibsy's old master was a kindly old lady, she wasn't used to seeing injured humans.

“Tibsy.” Tynx began, raising his hands. “My old master cut off three of my fingers with his carving knife. One for leaving a crease in his shirt, another because his tea was too hot and the third for giving his daughter food while he was punishing her.”

Tynx lowered his hands to his lap solemnly. “Our master is not a nice person, but they are nice to us, they take care of us, and they defend us. They don't hurt us, and they don't make us hurt others. Anything else Master does is not for us to judge.”

Tibsy stared at the gaps between his remaining fingers with wide eyes for a few moments, before nodding silently.

“If it helps, I think these people are Master's guests because they all hurt Master before.” Tynx added and Tibsy's eyes widened. “I don't know if it will always be like that, but we should just be glad it's not us in there.”

“Our master gave us an actual space in their home to live in, rather than something temporary, like an expansion charmed barrel. They gave us the money and freedom to design and decorate our living space to our size and comfort, even before building their own.” Tynx smiled wryly and Tibsy's eyes skimmed over their warm and comfortable home.

He placed a hand on her shoulder. “Our life here is good, better than with most masters, try to focus on that.”

“...okay.” Tibsy nodded firmly.

Tynx smiled, relieved that she understood, it would hurt if their Master killed her for doing something stupid like trying to free a guest. Their Master was a good master, but not a nice or kind person and he knew from their eyes that they wouldn't hesitate to execute their servants for disloyalty or betrayal.

“Good.” Tynx glanced at the clock on his desk. “Now, you should probably go feed Master's snakes, we'll need to welcome them back from school in a few hours.”

“Oh, yes! Tibsy will go catch small fishys for snakeys!” Tibsy's expression brightened and Tynx nodded approvingly as she bounced to the side, grabbed a bucket from under the sink and popped away.

The young elf did seem to like the job of caring for their Master's pets. Perhaps he'd take over duties directly involving the Master's guests to make things easier for her. Tynx thought to himself as he returned to writing his report, he would need to finish logging everything before their master returned to Feldcroft in the evening.

At least he could report that the foundations were ready to be built upon as they'd hoped. Anything that kept their Master happy and satisfied with them was good.

“Gotcha!” Tibsy exclaimed, snapping her fingers, and levitating a small flopping fish from the clear lake water.

With a swish of her fingers, the fish floated through the air, and was dropped into her water filled bucket. Or, at least that was supposed to happen, but as the fish flailed and thrashed violently, its tail hit the rim of the bucket and the fish propelled itself to the side, landing on the floor outside the bucket instead.

“Oh no, fishy! You're supposed to go into the bucket!” Tibsy shuffled over quickly, trying to scoop the fish from the floor with her hands.

The fish, however, was having none of that, and struggled relentlessly to flop to freedom. Tibsy pursued the slippery thing for a few minutes, grabbing for it repeatedly, until finally she managed to catch the small fish securely in her hands.

“There!” Tibsy gave an exasperated sigh, eyeing the fish critically. “Why'd fishy have to struggle so much?”

As she heard her own words, Tibsy paused. Of course, because the fishy didn't want to die. She stared at the thrashing fish. After all, she was about to feed it to Master's pets. The weight of her own actions, the weekly chore that she hadn't put much thought into before, was suddenly feeling uncomfortable in her hands.

“But... if fishy doesn’t die, Master's snakeys will die.” Tibsy bit her lip, thinking of the cute two-headed snake that she had been taking care of for the last few months.

The funny way they wiggled around and the greeting hisses they'd give her when she visited them in her free time. Sir Ominis was very nice and helped her talk with them a few times and she thought the twins were really sweet, she couldn't imagine making them starve for a fish she didn't know.

If Tibsy could speak with this fishy, maybe Tibsy might choose the fishy over the snakeys.

But that wasn't the case now, was it?

It was the snakes that she cared about more. And so, she would sacrifice the fish for the snakes, consigning the fish to a painful death.

Tibsy dropped the fish into the bucket solemnly. Such a simple yet heavy action, now that she was thinking about it.

As Tibsy collected the bucket and apparated back to the castle's greenhouses, she wondered if her master faced similar decisions.

She wondered if their guests were fishes.

“Welcome home, Master.”

Tibsy followed Tynx's bow, as the Keeper and their partners entered the Feldcroft cottage.

“Tynx, Tibsy.” The Master's voice was even as always, their expression stoic as ever, and Tibsy found herself scrutinising their face as she and Tynx straightened from their bow. “Your report?”

Tibsy stood silently behind Tynx as he began to give his usual report, watching the Keeper curiously, while their partners began to unpack their luggage. The Keeper's expression didn't change as Tynx spoke, summarising the elves’ progress with the castle and the condition of their guests, before handing the Keeper several pages from his journal, which they tucked away in their pocket.

“The two of you can begin preparations for building the castle. Sebastian and I will join you tomorrow to begin work on it if the weather is favourable.” The Keeper instructed, before surprising Tibsy with a small smile. “Well done, both of you.”

“Thank you, Master.” Tynx replied smoothly, bowing once again and Tibsy hastened to follow.

“T- thank yous, Master!” She squeaked, dropping into a bow as well, the Master's words making her feel warm inside.

She was a little surprised that the Keeper had praised her as well, considering that they normally spent more time instructing and discussing with Tynx, since Tynx was more capable, and did all the planning while she just did her best to follow instructions and not break something again. It did mean that she sometimes felt a little lost though.

“Oh, and Tynx, about the bulbs, how much did we get for those?" The Keeper's attention quickly returned to him.

Tynx checked his notes for a moment before replying. “Just enough to cover the cost of the list of tools you specified. The owner of Slug and Jigger's Apothecary paid a total of..."

“Tibsy.” She blinked as the master's blind partner approached her from the side.

“Yes, Sir Ominis?” Tibsy asked, turning to him at attention.

Ominis gave her a kind smile. “I wanted to ask how the girls are doing.”

“Oh, Sir Ominis’ snakeys are doing good! Tibsy fed them a small fishy before coming to greet masters!” She nodded eagerly. “Snakeys have a little bump of food inside now!”

“Thank you, Tibsy.” Ominis smiled, and Tibsy was surprised when he reached a hand forward and petted her softly on the head. “For taking care of them for us.”

His hand was big, warm, and gentle, and Tibsy felt that warmth inside again. Tynx was right, life was good here, with masters that were nice to her and made her feel happy.

All she had to do was follow instructions.

Notes:

The elves in Hogwarts apparently live in barrels with expansion charms on them, I think it's kinda cool and also kinda oof. House elves are apparently preserved food. I feel like Tynx who was disposable with his last master, would value having a real physical space that says “hey, I don't plan on getting rid of you in a disposable expanded garbage bag”.

I also wanted to touch on how, despite me pushing for the whole “hey, Ominis, if you want to change something and have the power to, but tell yourself that you're helpless so you don’t feel guilty for not taking the risk, that's just being wilfully ignorant. I understand that you were genuinely helpless when younger so it's very very understandable to have this issue but you gotta at least try, now that you're not helpless and alone anymore”, which he has been doing, even in the original game, going after Sebastian in the catacombs, even though he gave up halfway, and I love him for trying even though it was hard.

Despite that stance, I also think that, if a person is (or was) genuinely helpless and powerless to change something, if they can’t escape their circumstances, they shouldn't feel shame or guilt, they should just focus on being as happy as possible, recovering and coping.

I hate victim blaming and often people underestimate the sheer amount of strength required to cling to some semblance of sanity under abuse. Victims of abuse are victims because of that strength. Sick freaks target these strong people because the fuckers know these victims won't break under their fist.

So, in Tibsy's situation, where she physically cannot disobey orders due to binding magic, where she can potentially be killed for disloyalty, I believe that she should not feel bad for what the Keeper is doing.

[champselysees]

📔 <- couldn't find the right emoji but I would very much like to hear about what's cooking in ye olde writer's brain!

Put "📓" or some other version of a book emoji into my inbox and I'll explain the plot of a fanfiction that I haven't written but daydream about. (I am slowly getting through these adfsg <3, just last minute Christmas shopping and writing out each takes a decent amount of time)

Hello and let me introduce you to an entire AU, for which the latest instalment that I opened a doc for started cause of a livery so I think it fits with you being the unofficial home of livery watch.

Anyway, the premise is a rather simple magic AU, very close to how our real world functions except small magic can occur here and there. People can cast mostly harmless spells, curses are abound, but otherwise the magic has very little impact on day to day life. Tho mildly important that some people have more affinity for magic than others, with kids especially being sensitive to magic more and becoming less sensitive as they grow up.

Got two fics set in this universe that keep rotating in my head, both under the cut adsfghj. Ships are Galex and Pierresteban for those who wanna know if they wanna invest in reading my rambling, once again I have never been brief about anything

The first time this came to me was way back in Jeddah weekend where every single Williams driver, junior or actually Alex and Logan, had the most ass weekend imaginable. The premise was that Lia asked an offhand question if Jeddah is the worst track on her calendar when they were recording for Team Torque, Alex said yes, but because she is young and does not have the proper control over her magic, she accidentally placed a curse on the team. And because Alex is the one who responded to that comment, the curse decided to curse the entire team, from the most junior (Lia) to the most senior (Alex).

Enter a series of hijinks where Alex is very aware that something is wrong, but too bad at magic to actually figure it out, Logan and the juniors are in misery, and the entire weekend is shit. Oh and George is just vibing in Mercedes. He is actually the guy who figures out that there is a curse on Williams, he is not part of Williams anymore so the curse missed him, but he is still close enough to the Williams team to immediately figure out somethings up and he is less dense at magic than Alex is and puts two and two together rather quickly.

They never actually manage to undo the curse until after the weekend, though it disappears after the race. Only then Alex actually realizes what happened even though he has been racking his brain about it since George caught onto the curse on Thursday or Friday.

This would've been a rather silly series of unfortunate events at heart, with a little bit of light hearted Alex torture. Nothing too serious just a deep sigh why are we here just to suffer sort of torture. A comedy of errors, this is the only tangible bit that I have written. one day I might return to this, tho idk since this feels like a fic that should be written and posted closer to the race than almost a year later yk? Asdfgh

This would be roughly the tone of the entire fic. Just silly hijinks all around :3c

The second fic set in the same universe, or at least one with the same vague magic going on would be a Pierresteban vaguely Brazil exorcism but actually much more than that!! Sparked by the all pink livery Alpine ran for the last few races.

The premise is that Australia 2023 when they totalled the pink cars something got messed up and cursed. Magic is finnicky like that. Initially, it was not too bad, Baku 2023 happened but then Esteban podiumed in Monaco so maybe its fine and Baku was just bad luck and stupidity.

Then Pierre gets his Spa sprint P3, nice, good work, but during summer break Charles starts ringing the alarm bells that something is fishy. But then even tho Charles has kept his touch on magic since he was a little kid unlike most people, Charles has been a bit of a doomposter about Alpine since the very beginning and the only reason he likes them is cause its better than AlphaTauri.

Anyway after summer break '23 is when it starts crumbling. Pierre gets his Zandvoort P3, but also they're running an interim TP yeah okay maybe something is off. Not like he will reconvene with Esteban though about it, nu uh. The rest of the season is as usual and it goes downhill from there, Pierre has to admit that Charles was right okay fine yeah he had a point.

Over the winter break Alpine reconvenes and they all conclude that the car is cursed. Their camo pink teasing and then the ass livery? An attempt to lift the curse. The two different but very similar liveries? A second backup attempt. Hiring Flavio? Sure as hell an attempt to break the curse oh no nevermind backpedal guys backpedal Flavio was a bad idea. Bringing in Oakes as a TP? You guessed it, also an attempt at fixing it. So are all their special liveries and suits and everything else they did over the '24 season.

The crux of the issue is that no one realizes that the curse is as old as Australia '23, most pinpoint it to somewhere around summer '23 cause thats when it was really starting to become tangible. But no one including Pierre and Esteban actually realize it that what created the curse was the totalling the two pink cars.

Anyway Brazil lifts the curse, at least seemingly temporarily, and somewhere along the lines someone realizes that the only correct way to fully banish the curse for good is to run a pink car for the rest of the season. Totalled the pink cars at the end of race 3 of the '23 season and DNFed, double podiumed the fourth to last race of the '24 season and ran the rest of the season with pink cars. Parallels yk.

Also somewhere along the lines Pierre and Esteban slowly start fixing their friendship. My personal interpretation of the beef if that Pierre perpetuates it, probably started it, thinks about it more, so that it also has to be him to make the first step to fixing it, thats why he is always the POV character in my Pierresteban lmao. So yeah, vague mostly pre-relationship Pierresteban that over the course of the fic slowly fix their relationship cause of the curse they accidentally created and placed on the car together.

I would actually like to write this one and hopefully I will because to me this is also my attempt at yet another Pierresteban exorcism. I just need to figure them out and then the floodgates will open trust.

Oh and, post credits scene is Alpine fucking it up again because they fired Esteban before Abu Dhabi. Oh you stupid ass team why do I support you...

So thats my little magic AU I rotate in my head in my spare time. Curses and shenanigans abound, mostly silly comedy of errors and bad teammate relationships, everyone gets a little curse if you're not careful enough. Except Charles. Charles has somehow managed to do the opposite. Lucky guy.

Also George can in this AU absolutely manifest the most randomass shit. Every time the dash jokes about his manifestation powers such as Austria '24 or Baku '24? Or even the whole teammates with his hero bit? Good old manifestation powers in this AU. Like I said, very silly but so much fun to me

[hardtofindeggs]

Cease and Desist Pt.1

❀ pairing: professor!levi ackerman x chancellor!f!reader

❀ genre: enemies(ish) to lovers, slow burn

❀ cw: light swearing, high tension situations (???), alcohol consumption, slight angst, fluff, jealousy, mutual pining (but levi is hopeless)

❀ summary: levi ackerman has been a professor at acadia hills university™ for almost 6 years now. levi ackerman has also had his eyes on you - the chancellor of this university - for 6 years now. he hasn't allowed himself to get too close to you, despite it being hard since your social circles are nearly identical. what'll happen now that he can't avoid you as much as he'd like? now that he's too close to you?

❀ parts: pt.1 -> pt.2 -> pt.3 -> pt.4 -> pt.5

"We create our own thorns, and never stop to count the cost. All we can do is suffer the pain, and tell ourselves it was well worth it. Belief doesn't rest on proof or existence... it rests on faith... without faith there is nothing," Levi slams the book shut, observing as the students in his classroom scribble down notes and take pictures of the large boards behind him (most twirl their stationery between their fingers), before he takes in a shallow breath then resumes speaking: "Alright, ladies and gentlemen. Over the course of your long awaited weekend, I want you all to revise the past 2 chapters thoroughly. I expect no less than an A on all of your papers next week."

He shoots a warning glare in the direction of two of his more troublesome pupils: Connie Springer and Sasha Braus. "Am I understood?" he watches as his classroom scrambles to snap their attention back to their strict teacher.

"Yes, professor," his students drawl out. Levi gives his classroom one last once over before giving them a satisfactory nod. "Good. Now, have a great weekend, the lot of you."

Small whoops and relaxed sighs are heard among the chatter of friends arranging outings, study groups and figuring out dinner plans. Levi smiles to himself shortly before he continues to watch them all leave, nodding goodbye to the kind freshmen that wish their professor a good weekend.

As the last of his students leave the lecture hall, Levi takes a seat behind his desk and starts grading the last four homework assignments he has. The time is 5:37 pm. By the time he finishes, the time is 6:56 pm. Taking off his glasses and rubbing the bridge of his nose, Levi breathes out a breath he wasn't aware he had been holding. Bad habit. Levi gets up, pushes his chair back and stretches, twisting to the left and then the right - cracking his back.

Levi starts piling supplies into his worn pencil case, listing all the things he should have as he goes along: both pens, correction tape. His train of thought is rudely cut off by the sound of rapid knocking on his door. He's all too familiar with this routine.

"Hange. Leave. Me. Alone," he says in a stern and loud voice. Loud enough for the eccentric Dean of Science to hear. Ignoring him, she bursts in with arms wide, already attempting to get into Levi's good graces.

"Oh come onnn, Leviiiii!", she drawls out while smiling cheesily, an arm slung around him while she pokes incessantly at Levi's cheek, already making the man roll his eyes dramatically. He pushes Hange's hand away and begins to lead her out of the door.

"No, Hange," he refuses to hear her out.

"Jeez, I haven't even spoken yet!" she turns to face him, "21 Bounce Street. That's the bar we're headed to if, God forbid, you change your stubborn old mind." Her sarcasm was the thin rope that kept their friendship together. Mind, it was a rope that continued to wear.

Unfazed, Levi retorts, "Hilarious. But I have better things to do with my time." He checks his watch in a conspicuous gesture of irritation.

"Like what? Practise being sad and lonely?" Hange continues to taunt him. Levi decided silence is the best medicine for a case of Hange. Eventually, she sighs and swats him away. "Whatever, princess. We'll be there if you change your mind."

Levi walks down the halls and turns left to exit the building. The slightly open door to the Chancellor's office catches his eye, and he subconsciously slows down. What was he doing? Surely it would be absurd to knock? To disturb you and your work would be absurd, right? What did he even want anyway? Truly, nothing came to mind. You two barely talk, for goodness' sake! He doesn't even know why he's debating this right now. This is stupid. He should just walk away and get into his car. He has no reason to -

"Excuse me, Chancellor Y/L/N. May I come in?" Levi waits outside the door for your reply. What am I doing? "Yes, you may," your voice calls out from inside. Levi continues to stand outside for a short few seconds before he steps foot into your office. Clean, ebony desk. Folders stored away in numerous cabinets behind you. This was certainly your office.

"Ah, Professor Ackerman! I thought it was going to be you. I still struggle to recognise voices through that unnecessarily thick door," you attempt to joke, a polite smile spread on your face, yet all Levi can manage to give back is a curt nod, if that. He stares at you, a neutral expression on his face as he awaits your permission to continue speaking. You clear your throat and begin organising papers, throwing them into your drawer and ask, "Excuse me. Tell me, how may I be of assistance, Professor?" You look up from the papers in your hands to lock eyes with the stoic man before you.

"I, just - nothing. Sorry, your door was open a touch and I was curious to know whether or not you were in or simply forgetful. As per, of course," his eyes flit around the room before meeting yours. You can't tell if he's being snide or sincere.

"You forget yourself, Professor Ackerman," you scoff before continuing, "I didn't plan on staying too long, which is why I kept the door open. A reminder to leave, if you will," you hint at your desire for him to leave, jerking no reaction from the professor.

"The time is 7:31 pm, Chancellor," he comments.

"And?" you quirk your brow, amused at his arrogance.

"I heard your friends would be at the bar is all. Thought you'd be entertained by simple activities as such." You searched his face, but nothing. Not a single clue to what he was feeling.

"Professor, if there is nothing more I can answer for you, ..." you pointed your open palm towards the door.

"I asked if you will be at the bar, Chancellor."

"For your information, you didn't. You made some incoherent statements about my friends' plans and expected me to give a response. Why are you even here, Professor Ackerman?"

He stands dumbfounded, pondering the question as he stares at the frame on your desk: an old photograph of you and Hange, arms slung around one another, cracking up laughing. Of course, Levi knows this photograph. An exact copy sits in the living room of your eccentric friend's house, with all the other pictures she's gathered over the years. Finally breaking the silence, Levi speaks, "You ought to close your door, Chancellor. Somebody could steal that frame of yours," he adjusts the strap on his bag and takes out his car keys before he turns around to walk out of your creaked door.

A soft exhale exits your nose as you shake your head, "Goodnight, Professor. Do close the door on your way out. I wouldn't want to get ransacked, now, would I?" you comment sarcastically.

Out of the door, he turns to face the side of it. He swiftly wipes his finger along its edge, collecting dust. Much to your disbelief, he pulls out a white handkerchief and cleans a small patch. "Certainly, Chancellor," the click of your closing door echoes throughout the hall. You listen to the paced sound of his frustrated footsteps getting further and further away. He was gone for tonight.

[starkraivennemad]

What's Said And What's Heard

They didn't know it yet - it was their last minutes being alone…

First came the hurt…

"Mummy! What in heavens name could possibly have given you thought of such a connection?" Mycroft Holmes scoffed at the very thought. "He and I? That's utterly preposterous!" "Excuse me?"  It was not so much the words spoken, but how they were delivered that caused Greg to lash out. "Oh yes, completely ludicrous. What a pauper can't look at a prince? I can help with that.  Maman? Let's go!" Greg glad they had arrived at the booth but had not sat. He grabbed his mother's hand. "Gregory!" "Lestrade." "Greg, wait." Mycroft, Sherlock and his mother called out. Greg ignored the latter two to face a stricken looking Mycroft about to speak. "Don't bother, Holmes." Greg had hidden his feelings from the intimidating man for over a year because of this very fear. I’m not good enough. Hearing it confirmed in words stung. They stung deeply. He’ll never be mine… "Greg!" His mother tried. "Mère, no." Were he not upset and already turned away, he would have noticed her surprised face at being addressed formally, something he only does when he is very upset, as he gently, but decidedly pulled her at her hand. We’re leaving.

Followed by the embarrassment…

"Gregory Michael Lestrade, that is ENOUGH! Unhand me now, young man!" Giselle Lestrade thundered once they were out of the restaurant and in the car park.  He had parked near the divider wall between self-parking from one entrance and valet parking from the other side. Whoa! Haven't heard THAT tone since… Academy? He immediately released his hold on her. He had not realized how tight was his grip until she shook her hand. Shite! What are you doing, Greg! "Maman, I… I am so sorry!" He tried to reach for her hand, but she snatched it away. "I don't want to hear it, Gregory. You are lucky we were such a nice place, and I did not want there to be cause of a bigger scene than what was already happening. What is going on in that thick gob of yours?" Fuck it all! This weekend had gone so great, now it's ruined! Head down in shame, Greg ran a rough had through his silver hair, setting it awry. "I can't." "The way you just manhandled me? Boy, you better try!" Greg winced at her words and shook his head. Giselle Lestrade raised her son to fear no one. Then again, his mother had not come against the likes of one Mycroft Holmes. How could he explain someone like Mycroft Holmes? He was an uber intelligent man who suffered no fools. Mycroft will claim he occupied a minor office in the British government and had the documentation to prove it, but after nearly a decade of knowing - Greg certainly knew better. There was nothing minor about Mycroft's true occupation as a global political player of such immense power the world is better in not knowing existed. Mycroft can bring monarchs and presidents to heel with raised brow. Calculating and ruthless, Mycroft was a man willing to make the hard decisions no one else could and execute them for the sake of Crown and Country. He was also a man of droll, yet cutting wit who loved his parents who did not always seem to understand him. Adores his not-exactly-a-baby brother who lives to give him grief at every turn as only a little brother can. The man who publicly scorned sentiment and romantic entangles with a motto of caring is not an advantage. The man whose plentiful condemnations were as cutting as his rare compliments  Tall, posh with legs for eons in his three-piece bespoke, pocket watch wearing suit of a man he was madly, but secretly in love with. The man who emphasized the preposterousness of that love ever being reciprocated moments ago. The man I just walked away from. "You wouldn't understand, Mère." Greg sighed as he leaned against his car. "Would it have anything to do with how deeply paupers love princes?" she asked softly. Greg knew by the question his mother had gleaned the answer. Of course, she knows. She the only person who can read me better than Mycroft. And she heard what he said… She leaned beside him against the car. “When did my brave copper of a son become a coward of the heart, hmm?” She was about to say more when voices were heard on the other side of the wall.

But then the surprise…

"Idiot boy! I'm not asking why you haven't told him. I'm sure you've concocted a hundred reasons why not. I'm asking how you, you who sees everyone and everything, have not seen it for yourself?!" Violet Holmes fussed. "Believe me, Mummy. He has excelled at hiding his feelings - even from himself." Sherlock drawled. Oh, HE’s one to talk! "Oh, don't you dare! Pot/Kettle, little brother, Pot/Kettle." "Oh, don't you dare try to change the focus, Mikey." Violet chastised. "And Liam hush! I'll get back to you your doctor fellow another time, don't speak out of hand again." "Yes, Mummy." Sherlock demurred. So, I'm not the only son to completely ruin Mother's Day brunch. Nice to know the Holmes Boys get taken to task by their mum too. “This is about Mikey being intimidated by Greg.” Violet continued. What? Greg looked at his mother and knew by her look of surprise he had not misheard. Mycroft intimidated by me? I am the one who is intimidated! “Oh, I am sure my brother has unconsciously tried his best to intimidate Greg.” Sherlock scoffed. “Are you aware, Mummy, that Lestrade and John are the only people outside the immediate family not cowed by his Iceman glare? I’m sure he’s tried to ward him off with his trademark Caring Is Not an Advantage lark – Ow! You kicked me!” Only because Greg had to stop himself from laughing out loud did it occur to him; he was listening in on their conversation. And I definitely should not be. Best to go before my feeling are hurt even more. “I did say stop speaking out of turn.” Violet huffed, “Besides, Mikey is correct, caring is NOT an advantage…” “Thank you, Mummy.” Mycroft said smugly. “Don’t thank me. I raised you to be wary of the pitfalls of love, yes, but not to disdain it altogether. Since when are you such a coward?” Without even looking at her, Greg saw the smug look on his mother’s face. He was not really cognizant of having moved until he had turned the corner.

Succeeded by the confession…

“Disadvantage or not - didn’t stop you from falling in love with me or I you, did it?” “Gregory!” Mycroft spun around at the sound of Greg’s voice behind him. Greg will treasure the day he caused surprised looks on not one, not two, but all three of the Holmes geniuses. “Maman was giving me the well-deserved what for too.”  Hands in his trouser pockets and blushing profusely, Greg tilted his head towards Giselle who joined him. “Sherlock, I know you can charm when you want to. Do it now and please take our mother’s back inside for brunch. Your brother and I will be in shortly.” “I will…” Whatever nonsense was about to fall from Sherlock’s lips evaporated as four sets of eyes glared at him. “I will do my best.” “You better.” Greg gave him no quarter, blithely ignoring the scowl from Sherlock, and the raised eyebrows from the mothers and the three returned to the restaurant.  “Sorry for listening in… I…”. “No, before you say another word let me speak, please.” Mycroft approached Greg. “You walked off before I could explain. The preposterousness of out being together was because I never imagined some like you would ever have interest in someone like me. It was NEVER that I have not sincerely wished for such between us. Mummy saw how much it devastated me to realize I had accidentally hurt you and why.” “And I thought someone like you would never be interested in someone like me. Your words, the way I took them sealed it. Maman saw how much I was hurt by you and why.” Greg smiled at his mother, then at Violet. “Nice to know you can’t hide from your Mum any more than I from mine.” “I’m beginning to see neither mother raised cowards, just two blind idiots.” Greg smiled gently. “But I think we’re both seeing clearly now – yes?” “Quite so.” Mycroft returned the smile.

Adding in the touch…

Eyes locked on each other; Greg realized it took Mycroft a moment for it register his hand was being gently tugged. Mycroft looked down to see Greg’s strong fingers slowly grasping to hold his. He and Mycroft have shaken hands countless of times.  This was the first time ever they have touched. “You…. You are the first person in YEARS, outside of family or physicians, to touch me…” Mycroft exhaled in wonder. “And to be blunt – you’re… oh sod this!”

With the kiss…

Greg is not sure what surprised him more. Mycroft using such a phrase as Sod this(!) or the kiss suddenly planted on his lips. Okay, he lied – the kiss absolutely was the bigger surprise. Oh, but a much, MUCH more welcome one! “Hello…” Mycroft was quite pink about the ears when they came up for air. “Hey yourself” Greg could not have wiped the smile from his face had his life depended on it. “I feel behooved to inform you that was seen not only by the valet, but at least two security cameras and…” Mycroft pulled out his buzzing phone without looking. “Oh?” Greg grinned was plastered in place as he spied the nearest camera and waved. “Tell Anthea she can give me The Talk on Tuesday.” “Why Tuesday?” Mycroft asked surprised. “Today IS Mothers’ Day and I don’t know about you, but I’m damn sure not telling Maman to fend for herself until she heads back tomorrow .” Greg headed back inside the restaurant. ”So, Anthea will have to wait until Tuesday.” “I do not say this often, Gregory, but I’m not following.” Greg turned around in time to appreciate Mycroft’s sardonic eyeroll in acknowledgement that he was in fact currently following Greg into the restaurant.

Concluding with, the promise…

“You want to tell your mother you abandoned her on Mother’s Day to get railed by your VERY soon-to-be lover? Because once I get your in bed tomorrow, Mycroft Holmes, we’re not getting out of it before Tuesday.” Greg winked. Greg grinned as Mycroft stumbled nearly going offline again. Whoa! Got Mycroft to short-circuit twice in one day! “Follow me now, love?” “Yes, I follow, love.”

…Before the rest of their lives together.

-----------------------------

Comment on AO3

@calaisreno @MayPrompts2024

#MayPrompts2024 - Prompt 9: Intimidate, Prompt 14: Eavesdrop

[lonely-north-star]

sorry for being inactive af and only coming onto here to scream or cry

that being said (this got really heavy im fine pls don't worry lmfao)

ending myself jesus fuck im UAHDHRHEHW

im chopping half my hair off tomorrow im doing it and im mourning right now and crying like a little baby about it SO WHAT !! kinda hysterical whatever not like i haven't cut it since 2018? maybe? not like it's the only thing that makes me look even slightly fem

and even then that's not enough bc i still get mistaken for a man and every time it happens i die inside and it makes me want to throw up

abd yes hair is hair !! it doesn't have to define you !! but it does for me !! it's such a big part of me and I've had it long for so long and it's my Thing it's what makes me Me and im not good with change and i dont want short hair but i need to i have to

and waht if it doesn't grow back. Ive been avoiding trimming it bc I'm scared im scared it wont grow back and ill be stuck with short hair forever. and it'll still be past my shoulders i think. im chopping off the dyed bits. which is basically half and my hair is like three feet long. i keep sitting on it. IM MAD !!

i look too masculine im not a man i dont want to be a man i want to be known as pretty and i wont feel pretty with short hair. i wont feel like myself snd this is gonna take such a big toll on me and ive already been dealing with so much shit im so tired im so exhausted whatever we persist

its not fair inwant a break inwant this to just end ive already suffered enough why do i have to do it all again

im scared i need like help and i think tomorrow the weekend wjatever is gonna really show that to my parents and i dont want that. i dont want to confront how bad my depression is and how low ive been. they know they suspect they're worried but we all just keep going and going bc there is no solution

egen work people are worried and suspecting snd im so on edge that they know they know i want to quit. and i need a break i need a break so bad but im not full time so i dotj get vacation days. it's not fair. i cant leave. im gonna lose out on money but i think im gonna beg for sunday off. i need it i jeed to get a grip i need to just start over. i need support but the shame of asking and confronting everything ive been avoiding is so daunting and scary and evil

its all bad i know its bad im just so tired. even if i ask for sunday off who knows if ill actually use it wisely. i dont want the judging looks. i dont think i can handle that

[mudhamster]

CHWHWN: 11. December " ? "

It was shortly before eight. Nothing had happened all day. No message, no peep from Kacchan. The weekend was over, school went on… but today… for the first time there was a sudden stop in communication, all progress, everything.

Was today the day where it ends? The thought felt bad. Izuku had had bad feelings often and long enough, his tolerance was practically non-existent. He didn't want to feel bad. He would rather pull the splinter out now than suffer for a long time. So he goes upstairs. And … knocks. On Kacchan's door. To his surprise, the door opens shortly after he knocks, and he almost misses his cue to grin. "What - Deku?" "H-hey." "You okay?" You …. what …. ? Badum badum. What a question!? In the silence of the hallway, surrounded by nothing but darkness, aside from the light flooding out of Kacchan's room from behind him, this question echoed inside him. "I… I was worried," he got right to the point, clenching his fingers. "Not unusual." Would Kacchan invite him in? Would he let himself be invited in? He had not prepared any topics to talk about! And today, there would be talk, right? Could he- "Is that what this is about?" Before he could reply, Kacchan had reached deep into his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper. Izukuh blinked open-mouthed at the note, then up into neutral red eyes. Kacchan watched him. "Yes." "I read it." "OH, o-okay," his sweaty fingers found their way into his sweater pocket and began to wrestle with each other, "But you don't want to get what it says." Otherwise, he would have told him what it said sometime today. Kacchan had read it, but hat ultimately decided, to not pursue this calendar stunt any longer. In the next room, Kaminari roared, then something banged against the door. He and Kirishima were probably playing Gamecube. Kacchan still looked at him, but the hallway was too dark for him to focus on anything else. Instead, he lowered his eyes and took a small step back. "It's okay - it… I wasn't really thinking about all that when I gave it to you. Somehow, in some small part, I even expected you to reject it. The whole calendar," he shrugged, "But the week was fun." Out of the corner of his eye, he watched Kacchan's hand, the one holding the note, slipping back into a deep, soft pocket, then Katsuki leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed, waiting. When Izuku realized that Kacchan was waiting - WAITING - for him to finish his thoughts, he began to spiral miserably. Why would he wait for Izuku do start his ramble? WHY didn't he just go in? Why so modest? Why so nice - why not throw the door shut and leave Izuku standing there like always? His tongue moved, producing speech, words, although he couldn't even say what he was thinking! "And um, it was fun, wasn't it?" he stammered, not knowing what else to say, "I don't mean the joke, but… us? That we can chat so much? And - and, uh, how are your hands? I haven't even asked if you liked it? The massa-" "If I hadn't liked it, I would have thrown you off the balcony," was the simple answer and Izuku fell more in love than ever with the soft scratching of Kacchan's voice in the silence of the hallway, "before you could have fled like a hen in roosterseason." His heart acted as if he had loaded it with too much Black Whip and now had to suffer the consequences. His mouth did what it wanted, his feet stayed still even though he was screaming at himself to get back. And his hands? A moist clump in his sweater. He resembled the incarnation of a teenager who had spent weeks working up the courage to confess. Damn it. Izuku had to leave. Right now. "Sorry." His back arched out of sheer habit and he bowed to his childhood friend before he knew what he was doing. What the flip. He had probably reached the top of the creepy&awkward scale. "Deku what the fuck," the words were accompanied by a breezy laugh, and he jerked his head up to see what Kacchan looked like. (Apart from gorgeous)

He watched him with a shake of his head and uncrossed his arms to tap his pocket with the note. "I didn't say I didn't want it." Omgomgomgomg- "But I don't need it right now." "What is it?" Izuku blurted out, holding his breath as if his life depended on this answer. Partly, it did. "My secret for now." Izuku couldn't breathe. Katsuki was so … so soft. So normal and human and neutral plus borderline amused…! "Okay," he choked, remembering that it was okay to breathe, "Does that mean," he gestured stupidly with his hand knot in his pocket towards Kacchan's room, "that you'll - we will continue tomorrow?" "Sure."' "Wha- o-okay!!?" If emotions were visible, a monstrous wave of relief would have risen up the stairs, washed over Izuku and maybe dragged him down again if he was lucky. But that wasn't the case and he had to walk alone. Upright, with dignity. "Okay," he repeated, taking a breath, and then a much too wide, probably much too ugly grin crept onto his face. But he was able to free his hands, so he covered his mouth with one and waved goodbye with the other before turning on his heel and making no secret of the fact that he was fleeing again. He was terribly excited, but damn it, he had just made a fool of himself! He peeked back over his shoulder and found Kacchan still standing in the doorway, casually waving back at him. His heart stopped at the same time as one of his feet, and Kacchan was the last thing he saw before he crashed loudly down the dorm stairs.