#haven't touched on it for months but i still love it

[lubdubology]

Soft Edges

SYNOPSIS: Logan doesn't know how to relax. So you help him.

PAIRING: Worst!Wolverine x fem!reader (Although minus the quick blip mention about the Void, you could imagine any Logan you'd like)

WC: 2K

WARNINGS: sexually suggestive innuendos; non-explicit descriptions of nakedness; playful banter; kissing; mild swearing; feeeeeelings; honestly, just tooth rotting fluff

A/N: I haven't written anything four hundred and eighty years seven years and I'm honestly kind of nervous about this. I thought my writing muse was long dead and buried. But here it is, seemingly revived. The idea for this story kind of just fell out of my head when I should have been napping while my toddler napped. The story won out. I hope you like it! <3

You wake with a jolt to the sound of Logan’s alarm blaring from his phone. From beside you comes Logan’s low, “Ah, fuck,” before silence reclaims the room. 

It’s early, the first rays of morning light just barely peeking above the horizon. You roll over and peer over your pillow to find Logan pulling on a pair of jeans. 

“I thought you were off today,” you mumble sleepily, laying your head back down and admiring the way his muscles move as he slips a shirt over his shoulders. 

He looks back at you with a soft smile. “Didn’t mean to wake you,” he says, continuing to dress. “Picked up an extra shift at the yard.”

Since returning from the Void, Logan had picked up a smattering of odd jobs to earn money. A couple of months working at a quarry. A per diem for a local contracting company. Currently a lumber yard thirty minutes outside of town. Despite notoriety for helping save the entirety of existence, some employers still had qualms about hiring someone from another universe. Not that he cared. You think he was just happy being useful. 

You reach for him and pull him down for a kiss. You can feel the curve of his smile against your lips and it’s these soft moments about him you love the most. “Do you even know how to relax?” you ask, snuggling back down against the rumpled sheets. 

“I relax,” he replies, standing up to grab his boots at the end of the bed. 

You can’t help the snort that escapes from you. “Name one thing you to do relax,” you counter, watching through half lidded eyes as he sits back down on the bed to lace up his boots. 

Logan pretends to think about it and then smirks. “You.”

He chuckles as you whip his pillow at him, your aim off as it sails harmlessly past his head and onto the floor. You hide your smile as he looks down at you, his eyes warm but still tired. “Relaxing really ain’t my style, sweetheart.” 

“You deserve it though,” you say, stifling a yawn. 

Logan looks down at you for a moment, his smirk fading as something softer settles in his expression, but he doesn’t respond to your statement. He stands and shrugs on his jacket, straightening out the collar before leaning down to press a kiss to your forehead. 

“Go back to sleep,” he murmurs.

You watch him leave and as you settle down to steal a couple more hours of sleep, you hatch a plan to show him just how nice relaxing can be. 

+++

You hum to yourself as you cook, the aroma of roasted potatoes and chicken filling the apartment. You’re just about to start on the green beans when you hear the jingle of Logan’s keys in the lock and the door swings open with a heavy creak. 

“In here, babe!” you call from the kitchen. 

“I could smell this all the way downstairs,” he comments, tossing his keys on the counter. “What’s this for?”

Logan wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you tight against his frame, nuzzling his nose where your neck and shoulder meet. With a smile, you reach back and lightly scratch your nails through the scruff along his jaw. He smells like sawdust and smoke as you press a light kiss to his cheek. 

You savor these moments with him. When you’d first met him, he was distant and wary, years of trauma causing him to be guarded. He warmed up slowly, his touches lingering longer and his words spilling more freely. But now, moments like this—where he’s soft and affectionate—have become more frequent. Logan craves touch and you are more than willing to reciprocate. 

“I thought you could use a nice dinner,” you say, your hand still tracing the line of his jaw. “Long day?”

Logan lets out a low grunt in response, his forehead resting against your shoulder. “One of those days where every idiot with a hammer thinks he can DIY,” he mutters, his breath warm against your skin. 

You smile and give his head an affectionate pat. “Well, you’re home now and I’ve got everything handled here. Dinner will be ready in just a few minutes.”

He pulls back just enough to look down at you, his eyebrows furrowing slightly. “Sure you don’t need help?”

“You try and help me, and I’ll beat you with this spoon,” you tease. 

Logan laughs and raises his eyebrow. “Promise?”

You smirk, giving him a playful nudge to the ribs with your elbow. “Don’t threaten me with a good time, Logan.”

Logan’s eyes crinkle at the corners, the kind of smile that softens all his sharp edges. He gives your waist a gentle squeeze before stepping back, his fingers lingering just a beat longer. “Alright, alright,” he says holding up his hands in mock surrender. “I’ll just go wash up.” 

As Logan retreats to the bathroom, you hear the rustle of him changing out of his work clothes and the thud of his boots as he tosses them to the floor. You finish dinner, resuming your quiet humming as you set the table. You finish plating everything when Logan emerges, work clothes changed for a fresh t-shirt and jeans. 

“Come eat, Lo.”

He joins you at the table and gives you an appreciative look as he sits down. “This smells incredible.”

You sit across from, watching as he takes the first bite, a prickle of anxiety setting along your spine as you wait for his reaction. A low groan of pleasure rumbles in his throat. “Fuck, this is good.”

A grin spreads across your face as he takes several more bites like a man starved. “I experimented with the cast iron skillet,” you comment as you watch him. “Looks like it was a solid impulse purchase.”

The two of you settle into a comfortable rhythm, enjoying the meal and sharing small pieces of conversation. Logan helps himself to seconds and as he finishes, he wipes his mouth with a napkin and sets his gaze on you. “You didn’t have to do this, you know,” he says, his voice low and warm. 

“I wanted to,” you reply simply. “And, like I told you this morning, you deserve it. Let me help you relax, Logan.”

There’s a pause, his expression softening as your words settle over him. You know he’s not one to ask for much and you can tell his savoring this moment. “You’re somethin’ else, you know that?” His voice is gruff but there’s a tenderness there that makes your chest ache. 

“A good something?”

He smiles. “The best somethin’.”

You finish dinner, swatting him away when he offers to help clean up and banishing him to the living room. Dishwasher loaded and leftovers put away, you join him on the couch. “Care to indulge me once more?”

He quirks his eyebrow. “What did you have in mind?”

+++

Logan stares at you dubiously as you lead him to the bathroom and gesture towards the tub. You flash him a grin as a frown tugs at the corner of his mouth. “It’s just a bath, Logan.”

He eyes the tub as if he’s waiting for it to swallow him whole. He crosses his arms across his chest. “I don’t do baths,” he mutters. 

You roll your eyes and place your hand on his chest, gently pushing him further into the bathroom. “Yeah, and you don’t relax either. Just humor me.”

Logan gives you a look—half amused, half reluctant—as he allows you to continue to nudge him closer. He reaches up and scratches at the back of his neck and blows out a sigh. “Fine,” he grumbles, “but only if you join me.”

You laugh softly, leaning up to press a kiss to his chin. “Tough bargain, but I accept.”

You turn from him and run the faucet, letting the tap run until you find the temperature sweet spot. Satisfied, you toss in some bath salts, the scent of eucalyptus quickly filling the room. The tension in Logan’s posture eases as you finish preparing the bath, but he still eyes you like he’s not entirely sure what comes next. 

Once the tub is filled, you shut off the tap and turn back towards him. “Okay, now strip.”

Logan smirks and raises an eyebrow. “Oh, so this is what you really wanted.”

“You’re not that hard to get naked, Logan,” you say with a laugh. 

He chuckles, but follows your instruction, pulling his shirt over his head. As you join him in undressing, you can’t help but admire his physique, his muscles flexing and gliding beneath his skin. You shimmy your panties down your hips as he kicks off his pants, leaving you both bare. 

You feel his gaze heavy on your skin as you step into the tub and beckon him to join you. He steps in, sitting down so his back is against your chest and he lets out a low groan as the warm water envelopes him.  Wrapping your legs around his hips, you cradle him and feel the tension ease from his muscles. 

“See?” you say, leaning to press a kiss to his temple. “Isn’t this nice?”

Logan peeks up at you and smirks. “The naked woman helps.”

You grab a washcloth and dip into the water to dampen it before running it over his chest. “You don’t have to admit you like it,” you say, rubbing the cloth in gentle circles along his collarbones. “You’re basically a wet noodle in my arms.”

He makes a wordless noise in the back of his throat and closes his eyes as you continue to wash him. A comfortable silence surrounds you, soft drops and splashes of water and the faint background hum of your apartment the only noises interrupting your space. You continue to wash him, gently massaging his shoulders, arms, down to the long fingers that know how to play you so well. A deep groan rumbles through his chest as you rub your fingers across the skin in between his knuckles. 

You eventually let the washcloth sink and wrap your arms Logan’s chest. He molds his arms against yours, lacing your fingers together. “I don’t deserve you,” he murmurs, his voice barely above a whisper. 

You shake your head and hold him just a little tighter. “You do, Logan. Despite your past, you’re a good man and you deserve someone to help shoulder your burdens.” Your voice is sincere as you press a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth. “Or least help you relax every once in a while.”

You soak until the water cools just enough to chill your skin. Reluctantly, you untangle yourself from him and nudge him to stand. He’s already got a towel slung low across his hips as you step out and he doesn’t even let you grab your own before pulling you close. 

A yelp dies on your lips as he cradles your face in his hands, thumbs pressing into the corners of your jaw as he tilts your mouth up to him. He inhales deeply through his nose, his lips moving expertly over yours, his tongue seeking the warmth of your kiss. 

You lean into him, your fingers trailing along his ribs and pressing into the damp of his skin. Logan kisses you once more, a gentle press to the corner of your mouth before he lets you go. 

“So,” he starts slowly, “Now that you’ve shown me how you relax, can I return the favor?”

A mischievous gleam dances in his eyes and he doesn’t give you time to answer before slinging you over this shoulder. Your giggles echo down the hallway as he carries you and he kicks open the bedroom door before setting you down on the bed. You scoot back and stare up at him with an expectant glance.

“Alright, sweetheart,” he says with a grin, “My turn.”

[stanpinesdykewife]

something really really self-indulgent because september makes me mentally ill. this is mostly just for me but figured i'd post it anyway :) enjoy

birthday month

stan/reader (enby)

pre/during/post-canon/unspecified

fluff, 1423 words

“You got me flowers?” you ask, equal parts excited and confused. It's the first thing you say when you open your front door to Stan, the sweetheart, holding a bouquet of bright, gorgeous flowers in front of his chest. You're smiling, a surprised laugh spilling out of you as red crawls up Stan's shy expression. “Stan, what's this for?”

“What, I can't give my favorite person some flowers?” The flush on his cheeks, the awkward way Stan rubs the back of his neck with one hand, betrays the gruffness of his voice. He shoves the bouquet closer to you and you take it with a careful grip, immediately bringing the flowers to your face to smell them. “They're because I like you. How's that?”

“That's a good reason,” you chuckle, stepping back and nodding towards your apartment. “Come in. I have a vase lying around, I think. Thank you, really, you just made my whole day.”

“Mission accomplished,” Stan says, like a dork, and you laugh as you lead him inside.

The next week, he's at your door again. You bark out a laugh when you open it to a familiar sight: Stan, with pink cheeks and a shy smile, holding a bouquet close to his chest. This time, he has a box of chocolates tucked under his arm.

“Another one?” you ask, accepting the flowers when he gives them to you. You give them a whiff, sighing softly at the fresh scent. “Okay, what's this one for?”

“I still like you. Congratulations,” Stan says proudly, showing off the chocolates. They're your favorite kind. You laugh again, your face warm. You step aside to let him in and he accepts the invite, touching lightly at your bicep as he passes by.

“I'm honored,” you say, and reach up just in time to grab his elbow and turn him around. You press a kiss to his chin when he does, smiling at the way he blinks at you afterward, taken aback, like you haven't been dating for as long as you have. “Thank you, Stan.”

“Don't mention it,” he says, his grin crooked, and he grabs your hand without looking to tug you into your own living room. “Come on, these sweets aren't gonna eat themselves.”

“You're sweet,” you say back, teasing, and Stan laughs loud at that, but even from behind him you can see the tips of his ears turn pink.

The next week, you're still surprised. But now you're a little suspicious.

“Okay,” you say slowly, hesitant in accepting Stan's third bouquet. He has a six-pack of your favorite beer in his other hand, and your tone makes him tense. He shifts awkwardly in place. “Now I'm starting to think you’re pulling a long con. What did you do?”

“Nothing!” Stan says, a little too quick to be believable, and you raise a brow in doubt. But you smell the flowers, and a smile crawls onto your face despite yourself. Stan continues, more casual this time, “Just thought I would spoil you. Is it wrong for a man to spoil the love of his life?”

You know the sentiment is strategic, meant to lower your guard and get you gushing over him instead of prying for an answer. But you chuckle anyway, effectively wooed, your heart fluttering in your chest.

“Seriously. This isn't gonna be a long-term thing, is it? Bouquets like this are expensive, I know that much. I really appreciate it, but…” You trail off. Stan rubs the back of his neck, avoiding eye contact.

“Uh… well, it was supposed to be a secret. On the low, y’know,” he admits. You perk up—You love knowing secrets.

“Okay, now you have to tell me,” you say, smiling. But Stan doesn't smile with you. He stares at a spot on your doorframe, his mouth screwing up in thought. When he doesn't answer, you laugh nervously. “Stan?”

“Listen, I, uh… I know it's your birthday month,” he starts, and your smile falls. Stan notices and immediately holds his hands out in front of him, placating. “But, but! I also know you don’t celebrate. I wouldn't spring a surprise on you even if I knew the date, which I don't, but… I dunno. I wanted to do somethin’ nice for you anyway. To show you I care about you, or whatever. You know.”

You do know. Stan's brown eyes are earnest and open, almost pleading, hoping you'll understand. You stare at him for a few moments, mouth parted, your grip tight on the bouquet and crinkling the nice wrapping paper holding it together. Your birthday month isn't exactly top-secret, but you didn't expect Stan to… You can't believe he…

“That's… really nice of you,” you say quietly, something tightening in your chest, something raw and emotional rearing its head behind your sternum. You're a little mortified, and you hate celebrating your birthday for a reason, and the intense, all-encompassing, fluttery feeling in your chest isn't funny at all. But it forces a giggle out of you, more flustered than anything else. Stan perks up at the sound. You think for another moment, but the look on Stan's face makes you come to a quick decision. Hesitantly, you assure him, “I'm not upset. This was a really sweet idea. Thank you.”

“Really?” he asks, and he looks so earnest and kind and warm that you can't help yourself from stepping forward and hugging him, pressing the side of your face into his broad chest. You're definitely crushing the bouquet against his spine, but evidently, neither of you care too much. Stan's arms come around you immediately, the six-pack digging into your lower back. He chuckles, leaning his cheek on the top of your head. “Heh. Glad it turned out okay.”

“Only because I like you so much,” you say, squeezing him tighter for another moment before pulling away. Stan lets up on the hug, but only enough to see your face. You don't know when you started smiling again, but you are. Stan registers it for less than a second before beaming at you, self-assured and affectionate, and that feeling in your chest only gets stronger. You don't know how to put it into words, but you try. With your hand not holding the flowers, you cup his face, keeping his gaze. You try by saying, “Thank you. Really. This… You mean a lot to me.”

If there's one thing Stan can't take, it's a genuine compliment. He laughs awkwardly, breaking eye contact, looking above your head somewhere. You let him, grinning as he shrugs and waves his free hand around as if to dispel the heat coming off his face.

“Yeah, yeah, well—It’s nothin’, really, it's not a big deal,” Stan rambles as your hand drops from his face to rest on his chest. “It took zero effort. Negative effort, in fact. Actually, I paid a guy to come up with the idea for me.” You laugh at the excuse, and suddenly all seriousness has left the air around you two.

“Oh yeah? Maybe I should be thanking him,” you tease, leaning up, closer to his face. Stan finally looks back at you, his eyes flickering to your mouth. “How much?”

“For you? Forty bucks,” Stan says, a smile tugging at his lips. You laugh again, right in his face, and he acquiesces, “Okay, okay! Twenty.”

“I'll give you a kiss and a beer, on me,” you say, reaching behind yourself to grab the six-pack from his hand. Stan's grin is wide and toothy, and with both hands free, he places them on your waist.

“Deal,” he says, and before he goes in for the kiss, you take a mental snapshot: Stan, smiling, a fading flush on his face, framed by beer and flowers. Emotion wells up deep inside you, too-warm and overwhelming. You imagine your heartstrings knotted together, tangled tightly in an overheated mess of affection in your chest. You don't know how else to describe it.

Stan kisses you then, and you melt into him, hooking an arm around his neck as his hands slide around your waist. The bouquet is held tightly in your hand, the wrapper crinkling further behind Stan's head. You're sure some flower petals have fallen off, landing gently on his big broad shoulders, getting caught in the soft gray of his hair. You don't pull away to check. Instead, you sigh, content, into the plush of Stan's lips, under the slow glide of his wandering hands.

The feeling doesn’t go away. Whatever it is, it's good.

[ducktracy]

Hey, I just wanted to say that The Bear That Wasn't was one of my favorite picture books as a child, but since I wasn't aware of Tashlin back then I only learned it was his work after seeing you tweet it a while back. Revisiting it, it's still joyous and funny, but there's a deep poignant truth in the story that's very relevant to both myself and the world at large. And while Tashlin had an amazing career, The Bear That Wasn't is the work of his that I cherish the most.

I'M SOOOO HONORED AND TOUCHED BY THIS ASK!!!! thank you for sending this in!! i'm so happy to hear you have such a special connection with this book!! i really wish i had known about it sooner--one of my many artistic aspirations as a kid was to be a children's book illustrator, and that's a book that i know i would have been utterly fixated by and used as inspiration had i had it. so this makes me so happy to hear!!

and YES, I AAAABSOLUTELY recommend everyone reading this ask to read the book! you can! right here! for free! treat your eyeballs not only to these gorgeous Tashlin drawings, but a very touching and as you said POIGNANT story!! it's so fantastic. Frank Tashlin is seriously one of my biggest and most omnipresent inspirations, i swear he just about influences every facet of my life that i could possibly regard with any sort of artistic influence. he was an amazing cartoonist, an amazing cartoon director, an amazing live action director and now an amazing author!!

another book i'd love to get my hands on is another one of his, The Possum That Didn't. images are a bit hard to come by online, but the illustrations still have that same charm and it's just!! UGH! the level of talent on display!!

while images may be hard to find, there is an animated version! i'll have to give it a watch since i haven't seen it myself! i also need to reacquaint myself with Chuck Jones' adaptation of The Bear That Wasn't. i'm glad that Tash's books were regarded enough to get animated adaptations... and by his old coworkers, no less! though if memory serves, i don't think Tash was very impressed with Jones' take lol

i wasn't very happy with how it was coming out so i (hopefully momentarily) abandoned it, but a few months ago i tried doing some screenshot redraws mimicking the style of Tashlin's book illustrations in hope of creating a mock-up storybook adaptation of Nasty Quacks as a sort of "prep project" for another project i do have in mind and do want to commit to.. maybe someday i'll pick it back up. but, needless to say, his books are as big of an influence on me as his cartoons and his movies and his comics!! i'm so glad to hear this

[yellowvixen]

week 18: still... you?

[divvy-div-art]

fortnite duos can really give you whiplash

[artelynns]

Kokomiiiii

[ohmytiredheart]

Thinking about that part in my crossover fic where Michael and s4 Jon meet and Jon is like I don't trust you and Michael is like you literally aren't supposed to and Jon goes ok fair enough

[bednbunfast]

I should...finish this but,,,

my brain aint braining,, so just..?

Wyenne my dear my beloved i missed you sobs cries rolls around the dirt of once populated roads left to the forest to be reclaimed and as my once pristine dress gets caked with mud and dust i remember my life back as a creature of the woods but alas my body is no longer part of something so grand so the memory leaves me in tears—

[jessamine-rose]

/obey me! vent/

[ame-to-ame]

there are things that you don't do for a year or more and pick up just right where you left off and these days i fear loving you might be one of them

[zecoritheweirdone]

you know. i have so, so many dsmp aus/fics that i just. never post about, ever.

like. look at these. pretty much the only one i've actually talked about on here(disregarding ask games) is mixed nuts, which is where the murder makeover(working title) fic is from. and even then, only barely.

none of them are really finished, nor have i actually touched any of them recently(writers block + adhd orz),, but like. damn i think there's like. nearly 20k words worth of stuff, just between the three actual fics (the first three). the stars align is an outline with 7k words(bc i am very bad at being concise). i have so much art for most of them that i just. never share outside of discord. i have a whole album on my phone dedicated to mixed nuts.

[noxtivagus]

SO HYPE FOR THE NIER AUTOMATA ANIME

[stigmasochist]

i need to be held

[coinflict]

Haven't logged onto hsr in like a month genuinely life changing decision to stop playing gacha games

[whateveriwant]

I just read your pregnant wife with 141 but that got me thinking. What about horny pregnant wife with 141

Feel free to ignore this if you feel uncomfortable writing it 

-🍱 (if it’s not taken)

I haven't written smut in ages so forgive me if I'm a little rusty. 18+ only pls and thx (vaginal sex, cunnilingus)

Soap

Hooo boy! Alrighty, here we go

So for starters, that man is PENT UP. Like seriously, he's so backed up, he thinks he can feel it all the way to his esophagus

Since you first got pregnant, it's been nothing but morning sickness, aches and pains, and a total and utter lack of desire on your part

Trust him, he's tried taking care of himself in the meantime, but it's never really gotten the job done since it wasn't with you

But once you enter your second trimester and the desire has come back, it takes everything in him not to ravage you the moment you give him the green light

Why? Well, truth be told, he's scared about potentially hurting you or the baby

You know how he can get in the sack. What if he dents the wee bairn’s poor head? He's knocking (more like pounding) right on the little one’s door after all

You have to assure him that he's not going to hurt you or the baby (and please, never refer to your cervix as a door again)

So he'll start slow and gentle at first, not wanting to be too harsh, but it won't take much to get him back to fucking you hard and rough like you're used to

He's got your knees up by your chest (or, as close as they can get) while he’s drilling into you from above, snarling like an animal

When he finally finishes, it's loudddd, slamming the headboard against the wall, and he pushes his hips as far forward as they'll go while he empties four months worth of cum inside you

Ghost

I'm so sorry to have to be the one to inform you, but you're not getting that man's cock while you're pregnant

It's not because he's overly rough when you make love normally; it's just that he's not willing to take any chances when you're in such a delicate state

However, the man is inherently a giver, so with just enough whining and begging and pleading from you, he'll oblige you to some degree

He'll stick mostly to his fingers or his mouth, maybe a toy or two if you're really needy, but he's generally going to rely solely on his own skill to get you where you want to be

He'll have you recline against a mountain of pillows while he settles himself between your legs, his arms looping around your hips to hold you still for him while he works

But he doesn't just dive right in, oh no siree. The man loves to tease you – kissing your thighs, the inside of your knee, the bottom of your belly first

He'll turn you into a pathetic little thing squirming desperately for his touch, before finally granting you mercy by giving you his tongue

He'll make you cum so hard with just his mouth alone that you'll temporarily lose all thought of that gorgeous dick of his

But afterwards, if you want to return the favor, you certainly won't hear him complaining about it

Oh but trust that the moment the doctor gives the okay after you’ve given birth, he's gonna be all over you, making sure you walk funny the next morning (and the following week after that)

Gaz

Like the other two, Gaz is concerned with potentially putting you and the baby in a dangerous position

But the man is a sucker for your puppy dog eyes, so it doesn't take much convincing to get him to take you to bed

But he still wants to be safe about it, so he researches the best positions for couples to have sex while pregnant

That's how you find yourself in his lap, naked back to his chest, as he sits in one of the chairs he dragged in from the dining room

You're bouncing on his dick, hands braced on his thighs, ass smacking off the hard plane of his lower stomach as you lift up and down

His hands on your hips are more of a placeholder than a guide as he lets you set the pace, just sitting back while you take what you need from him

It doesn't even matter if he cums or not, that's honestly the farthest thing from his mind. All he cares about is making sure you're satisfied in the end

Need him to snake his hand forward, tracing the curve of your belly down, until he's circling your clit in fast, tight motions? Gladly, love.

Your thighs may burn and your eyes may water, but there's something about this position that makes him hit so deep that it leaves you gasping for more

Ultimately, your orgasm will trigger his own (nothing gets him there faster than the sound of you cumming), and afterwards he'll help you into the bath where he'll clean and massage your aching muscles better

Price

Unlike the other three men, Price is eager to fuck you the moment you show even the smallest inkling of want

What's that? His poor baby needs him to fuck her right now? Say no more, sweetheart. Hubby's come to the rescue

That man is dicking you down anytime, anywhere he can

Just got done shopping? He'll find a deserted road to pull over on. Just stepped into the shower? Might as well kills two birds with one stone

Really, it becomes a challenge to find where in your house he hasn't had you in these last few months. The kitchen, the garage, the back porch. You name it, he's done it (multiple times, in fact)

But his favorite – oh boy, his favorite without a shadow of a doubt – is when he takes you in front of your bedroom’s full length mirror

He'll hold you up from behind, standing you both on your feet, and just watch as he fucks you nice and slow

Seeing it in profile is fun when he wants to watch his dick slide in and out of you, but he's especially fond of having you directly face the mirror

There's just something about getting to watch you – that pretty face, those juicy tits, that fucking delectable rounded belly – that makes him blow his load faster than a damn rocket launch

With the number of times he's had you like this, you swear, that man of yours is trying to knock you up a second time (But shhhh. Quiet now. Don't go giving him any bright ideas, sweetheart.)

[ozlices]

another super insulting part of the watcher situation i haven't rly seen ppl addressing much

ryan deadass saying smth like "nobody else on youtube has made tv quality content"

like... i really feel like it's important to highlight that bc not only do they obviously have no respect for their audience, but that statement shows they have no respect for their peers in the industry, either.

not to mention it is a shining example of bleeding arrogance to such a high degree, you will straight up fucking lie bc you're truly convinced you're that special when you're anything but.

there's been NUMEROUS online creators who were recognized by entertainment industry workers BECAUSE they made tv quality content & even full stop blockbuster quality content.

bo burnham started on youtube & is now one of the most wellknown & loved standup comedians of our generation, with numerous netflix specials & even a movie he wrote & directed under his belt.

the try guys, fellow ex-buzzfeed employees, had their own tv specials on food network (based off their youtube shows, btw) & a documentary made about them as well

rosanna pansino has also been on numerous food network shows both as a host & a judge

quinta brunsun, another fellow ex-buzzfeed employee, went on to create her own whole ass sitcom that has been highly praised

matpat cameo'd in the fnaf movie because of his theories & multiple other fnaf creators had small cameos through the employee of the month board easter egg

markiplier made multiple high-quality shows on youtube & is now working on a highly anticipated movie (he was also planned to cameo in the fnaf movie but couldn't due to conflicting schedules with his own movie)

hot ones got their own tv gameshow due to their popularity & they are still one of the most wellknown, beloved & respected internet shows

many short films made on youtube went on to premiere at film festivals & even in theaters

the hit horror film "talk to me" was created by youtubers rackaracka

webseries of actual fucking tv shows have also existed for literal decades

the list goes on.

to seriously think that overproduced bullshit is all you need to make "tv quality content" is not only tone-deaf, but shows they do not even know what they're talking about. many tv shows & huge blockbuster movies are made with absolutely microscopic budgets & small teams, & they still get praised & awarded for the passion, dedication, & creativity that shined brightly under those restrictions.

the blair witch project is probably the most wellknown & highly praised example of this, but it is far from the Only example

it is a whole other slap in the face, again ESPECIALLY when puppet history is one of their most popular shows, to spit in the face of internet history. to see the success of their predecessors, even ppl they fucking worked with at buzzfeed, & deny them of all their success & efforts to get where they ended up.

no, y'all are not the first people to make "tv quality content" on the internet. FAR from it. because your crap isn't even genuine "tv quality".

but you are the first ones to ever disrespect not only your audience, but your own fucking industry & your peers on this level.

& you are the first & i sorely hope the only fuckwads dumb enough to pull a stunt this fucking stupid, out of touch & utterly tone deaf.