#haven't had one in a while and only just discovered i didn't put my soft ice pack back in the freezer so its not cold

[deepwoundsandfadedscars]

.

[ironstrange1991]

Baby, I'm the lucky one

Pairing: Defender!Strange x Fem!Reader

Synopsis: Defender is having a rough day and his wife comes to help him to relax.

Word Count: 5,9k

Warnings: SMUT: Thigh riding, blow job, cum eating, p n v sex, creampie.

A/N: It's finally here! It took me a long time to finish this one and I really hope it's worth the wait. I made it very romantic and although it had already appeared in some of my headcanons, seeing Eric inspired me with the glasses thing and is Vincent in the pic, but I can only see Defender in it so bare with me and have a nice reading ;)

The sound of approaching footsteps in the hallway informed Stephen that he was no longer alone in the Sanctum. He thought he heard the creaking of a portal and now the sound of boots on the floor confirmed it. Sighing, he closed the huge old book he was reading and took off his glasses, placing them on the desk and pressing the bridge of his nose with his thumb and index finger.

Defender Strange was having a rough day, to say the least. It was actually a rough week that came right after a terrible mission. It seemed that the problems were piling up and he could no longer keep up with them, much less solve them before another one came up. To make matters worse, in addition to the feeling of helplessness he felt with each new impossible situation that was brought to him hoping he would magically find a solution for them, he also felt guilty for being so busy the last few days that he could barely pay attention to his pregnant wife.

The recently discovered pregnancy had been quite a surprise and was definitely not planned, but Stephen was happy with it, he just wished it had happened at a calmer time, but then again, there would ever be some calmer time in his life since he took on the position of Sorcerer Supreme and leader of the Defenders? Of course not.

The sound of footsteps got closer then stopped and Stephen heard a soft knock on the door to which he responded with a quick "Come in."

Wong entered the room with an expression in his face that told Stephen the master was bringing bad news.

"Tell me" Defender asked, putting on his glasses again and rummaging through the desk drawers for the pack of painkillers he had left there days before. It was true to say that excessive work combined with worries and poor diet over the last few days were contributing to his migraines. This time he decided to take a pill as soon as the first symptoms appeared in the hope of being spared of another terrible one.

Upon finding the pack, he took the pill and got up, heading towards the small corner table where he left a bottle of whiskey and two glasses arranged on a tray. He poured a dose and took it in one gulp along with the pill while listening to Wong explaining how preparations for the next mission had been halted because two of the masters who were supposed to go with the Defenders ended up injured in a battle against an interdimensional entity that had been released into the Kamar Taj by a curious student.

"I'm afraid we'll have to postpone it or else..."

Wong didn't finish what he was going to say, but Stephen added, "I'll have to go."

Wong sighed "It's been a rough few days for sure, but things will calm down like they always do."

Defender sat down again and pointed to the book he was reading "I haven't found any spell that can repair the damage caused by Nightmare in the passages of the Dream Realm. If we can't fix that we will have more problems in our world and that is something that I cannot allow. Lives have already been lost."

"It was not your fault." Wong stated and then suggested the same thing that Stephen had spent all afternoon considering.

"Perhaps it is time to request an audience with the Vishanti. You are the Sorcerer Supreme and only you can do it."

He nodded, "I don't think there will be any other alternative, but in any case I will continue my research into the night. Why would I rest, right?" He said bitterly and watched Wong's lips form a thin line.

"I feel like I'm failing you, my friend, especially at this time when your personal life is changing."

"But a Sorcerer Supreme must place his duties above his personal life, Wong. You know this very well because you were the one who told me this so many times." Defender responded dryly and then shook his head and spoke again in a calmer voice. "I'm sorry. You're a good mentor and a great friend, Wong. You've never failed me. You never could."

Wong nodded but pressed the issue "Strange, you need to take care of your pregnant wife. She needs you now more than ever."

Stephen ran his hand over his face, sighing heavily. "And how do you suggest I do that while jumping from mission to mission, meeting to meeting, and spending days and nights studying magic books in this office?"

Wong's answer was firm and decisive, "You need to delegate some tasks, Strange. These books, I can take them to the Kamar Taj with me and have them examined by our librarian. If anything important is found, you will be notified. Regarding the mission... I can go in your place if you wish."

Stephen shook his head "You belong at the Kamar Taj, Wong. The place would be a mess without you."

"Do you have a better idea? Besides, Master Hamir can take care of the place in my absense;." Wong insisted. "You already said you don't trust anyone else to do the job. Let me take over this mission and you can have some calmer days to rest."

Stephen knew his friend was right and no matter how much his pride and sense of duty said no, he ended up giving in.

"Fine, but I'll stick with the books tonight. I doubt I'll be able to sleep anyway. You can come get them by the morning."

Wong nodded "I will immediately return to the Kamar Taj to finish the preparations."

"What about the student?"

"Oh, he'll be punished. Don't worry."

Defender nodded watching Wong leave the office and close the door. The footsteps moved further away until they disappeared and the Sanctum was once again plunged into complete silence. IStephen sighed feeling the tiredness of the day hitting him. His eyes felt heavy as he tried to return to his reading, but it wasn't sleep that afflicted him, but an exhaustion so great that it seemed to consume him. He turned his attention back to his books, anyway, and barely noticed the hours passing by.

...

The Sanctum was plunged into darkness when you got home from work and you wondered if Stephen was still at the Kamar Taj at that hour. It was way past 8pm and you were working overtime almost everyday of the week since last week. It was safe to say that the last few weeks had been challenging for you as much it had been for your husband, but although you said everything was okay and that you understood, you knew he blamed himself for spending so little time with you, especially now that you found out about the pregnancy.

It was recent. Your belly wasn’t  showing yet and you hadn't told anyone. Not even your parents knew because you wanted to complete your first trimester before telling the news. Stephen had promised that he would try to spend more time with you, but since then so many things had been happening and demanding his immediate attention that it had become impossible for him to keep his promise and although you said you understood, you knew he blamed himself.

You went straight up to your room, took a shower and changed into comfortable pajamas before looking for Stephen around  the Sanctum and finally finding him in his office leaning over one of his huge books reading until exhaustion.

He tried to smile at you when you opened the door, but you could clearly see that he was not well, tiredness taking over every expression on his beautiful face, his always blue eyes, now darkened behind the lenses of his reading glasses.

"Don't tell me you spent all day here." You said, already knowing the answer.

"Pretty much." He replied sheepishly watching you approach, but instead of sitting in one of the chairs facing him, you walked around the desk and stood next to him waiting for him to turn around and then bending down to kiss him. You tasted whiskey on his lips which wasn't a good sign. Stephen only drank if he was very happy or very upset.

"Tell me how your day was, baby." He said before you had time to ask anything.

You grimaced, “Tiring and boring, but okay.”

He chuckled, "I guess that sums mine up too. Don't we make quite a pair?"

You nodded, watching him bring his hand to your belly and gently feel it. "And the baby?"

You smiled, "You know it's too early for me to feel anything, right? But overall I think it's okay. The morning sickness is killing me though."

He nodded, bending forward and placing a small kiss on your belly that made your heart flutter in your chest.

"I know I've been really busy the last few days, but I promise things will calm down." He said looking away as if he felt too guilty to look at you. You cupped his face and lifted his chin making him look at you.

"Stephen, it's okay. I get it. We've been together long enough for me to understand how things work." You assured "Besides, I have been working a lot too."

"I made you a promise..." He started to say, but you interrupted him by placing your index finger on his lip.

"I won't hold it against you, baby. I knew full well what I was getting myself into when I married the Sorcerer Supreme. It's not a job you drop anytime you want and get vacations from."

He allowed himself a sigh and you realized how much he needed to hear those words. In fact, looking at him closely you noticed how much more tired he seemed, how dark circles were appearing under his eyes and the lines on his forehead seemed deeper.

"Did you eat something?" You asked, again, already knowing the answer. He just shook his head.

"You've barely slept lately, Stephen. You know you need to rest or your body will end up forcing you to stay in bed one way or another." You said as your hand tugged on his hair tie and let his soft hair fall down his shoulders in a cascade of dark and silver strands.

"I care about you, baby." You confessed, placing the hair tie on your wrist and combing the strands with your fingers, gently undoing the knots. That small gesture that you had already repeated countless times was always enough to disarm him and as you expected, he hummed contently and moved the chair away from the desk, enough to pull you by the wait waist to position you in front of him. You straddled one of his thighs and he wrapped his strong arms around your waist and leaned forward to kiss you harder this time.  You cupped his face feeling your body melt before him and your stomach turned in that specific way that only he made you feel.

When you broke the kiss he glanced at you from behind the lenses of his glasses and you smiled "You look super cute with glasses, you know that?"

He blushed and instinctively reached to take them off as if only at that moment he had realized that he was wearing them in front of you, but you stopped him and kissed him again, feeling his hands return to your waist and the sensation in your stomach increased. You buried your face in his neck admitting. "I miss you, baby. You've barely touched me this last week and I know it's not your fault, but I really miss it."

"I know. I miss you too. Come here, kiss me."

You kissed him hard, your fingers immediately tangling themselves in his hair and a soft moan escaped his throat. The sound made you lose your composure. Without you realizing exactly what you were doing, your hips began to move back and forth, riding his muscular thigh and desperately looking for some friction.

You and Stephen had an amazing sex life and you weren't used to going without sex for a long time and eight days was a lot for you.  You needed him like air to breathe and your body searched for him instinctively.

He sighed contentedly as his hands slid from your waist to your bare thighs, his fingers digging into the soft fat there helping you move.

"You know I wasn't absent for lack of desire, don't you? I was just very tired." Stephen made a point of explaining and you smiled and bit your lower lip as you increased the movements of your hips and a moan escaped your lips. "I know. But I can help you relax a little if you let me."

Stephen nodded, raising one of his hands to your ass and squeezing your cheek as he lifted your chin and made you look into his eyes while grinding yourself shamelessly in his thigh. "I'm sure you can, but right now it seems like you're more interested in seeking your own pleasure, right?"

You knew he was just teasing. Stephen's altruism extended to bed as well. He was always more concerned about satisfying you than satisfying himself.

"Its been too long" You complained. "I spent the whole week thinking about making love to you. You barely slept by side this week. I even tried to resolve the issue myself, but I couldn't cum, it's as if my body refused to have pleasure without you there."

Stephen eyes glanced at you in complete awe "That's so beautiful, baby. You have no idea how happy you make me by telling me this."

"But now I want to make you relax, to give a little bit of a special attention to my beloved husband." You insisted, cupping his face and moaning again, but contradicting what you just said, you started to move faster, rotating your hips and looking for the delicious pressure that Stephen's thigh muscle provided on your clit and feeling yourself getting wetter between your legs, the wetness soaking his pants and making him hiss in pure surprise and satisfaction.

"It's okay love, you know I love providing pleasure for you. You have no idea how hard I am right now." He confessed lacing his fingers in your hair and tugging then a little bit.

"You're going to show me, aren't you? Tell me what you want me to do to make you feel better, baby."

Stephen smiled humming contemplatively to himself. "You're already doing it."

Resting both hands on Stephen's shoulders, you forced yourself against him, increasing the intensity of the friction and moaning, surrendering to your pleasure and a wave of heat took over you as your body found the ecstasy you were so desperately looking for.

Stephen kissed you passionately, his tongue searching for yours, sucking it lightly. He broke the kiss with a teasing bite on your lower lip and when you finally opened your eyes and allowed yourself to look at him there was a beautiful smile on his face that showed perfect teeth while also showing the crow's feet around his eyes. God, your man was so handsome.

"Satisfied?" He teased to which you immediately shook your head.

"Not until I make you forget all your worries."

"And who said I'm worried?" He replied, caressing your cheek with the back of his hand.

"The whiskey I tasted in your tongue."

He hummed "You know me way too much for me to lie to you, isn't it?"

"I don't even know why you try." You said, placing a strand of hair behind his ear.

"Want to tell me about it? I know there's not much I can do to help, but I can listen. You don't have to be the leader of the Defenders or the Sorcerer Supreme when you're with me. You can be just Stephen."

He listened silently glancing at you with tenderness and then nodded "I thank you every day for that." He said and then smiled and you noticed a slight flush in his cheeks. "I know it's cheesy to say this, but I really am a lucky man to have you as my wife, Y/n. I could never ask for a better woman."

You smiled broadly. You were used to your husband's constant compliments and it was safe to say that although he wasn't given to public displays of affection, behind close doors he was the most affectionate man in the world.

"Maybe it's a little cheesy, but I never get tired of hearing you say it." You confessed, getting up from his lap and feeling your face heat up when you saw the wet circle on his pants.

"Let's go to bed. You need to rest." You said, taking his hand and pulling lightly, hoping he would agree easily, but he didn't move a muscle and shoot you an apologetical glance.

"I promised Wong I would finish this tonight."

You sighed "Stephen..."

"I know, but Wong will take my place on the next mission and that will give me a few days off to rest. I promise things will be calmer and we will have plenty of time for both of us."

You smiled, surrendering to his charm, but not completely convinced.

"Sounds good, but it doesn't change the fact that you need some rest tonight." You said looking angrily at the gigantic books on his desk as if they were your most hated enemies and then you smiled to yourself "Perhaps... I think I can help you with that."

"With my reading?" He asked, knowing full well that it wasn't what you meant.

But you just smile, pushing his chair back to give you more space and kneeling between his legs. The act itself was self-explanatory and Stephen let out a satisfied groan.

"Will you give me your mouth, baby girl?" He asked with a dose of extra sweetness in his voice.

You bit your lower lip feeling your heart flutter with the pet name. "Do you want it?"

"Always." Defender replied watching you unbuckle his belt and unbutton his pants. The gesture was enough to make his dick throb.

"You're so hard, Stephen." You said taking it in your hands. His cock was so beautiful, big and thick, veiny with a red tip. There was a drop of precum leaking from his slit and you licked it slowly, letting it stick to your tongue in a string and then sucking it into your mouth.

"You did this to me, baby. Seeing you ride my thigh left me like this." He said caressing your face and moving his fingers down to your chin, lifting your face to make you look directly at him. "You are so beautiful. From the moment I met you I knew I would be yours."

You smiled and as if you wanted to prove to him that he was right, you gave a slow and long lick on the back of his cock ending with a light suck on the sensitive head and you kept your eyes locked with his all the time. He moaned and his hips jolted against your mouth involuntarily. You placed light kisses on the side of his length, teasing him.

"Such a tease..." He whimpered, giving in to the desire. "I need to be inside your mouth. I want to feel the heat, the wetness. Such a sweet mouth."

You surrendered to his pleas and took him into your mouth, sucking him slowly and bobbing your head up and down while swirling your tongue around him to give him maximum pleasure.

Maybe Stephen didn't know, maybe he was so selfless that he lacked the ability to understand that you loved him just the same. That he was worthy of being loved in that proportion and even more.

He considered himself the luckiest man in the world to have you in his life, but you knew that in reality, you were the lucky one to have the love of a man so decent, so courageous and most importantly, so caring and attentive.

His moans filled the room and reached your ears like music as you pleasured him slowly, rotating your hand along what you couldn't take in your mouth without gagging.

"So good to me, baby... doing so good to me." He muttered softly almost as if speaking to himself.

You let go of his cock to use both hands to brush your hair out of your face and twist it into a bun and then direct one of Stephen's hands to your head to keep it there. Stephen complied by grabbing your hair in a fistful, but he didn't push, he just accepted what was being given to him willingly.

You returned your attention to your work, working your mouth and tongue along the entire length of his cock, stopping only to draw a breath of air into your lungs and then returning to pleasure him.

"Oh baby it's so good." He said as his dick pulsed in your mouth. "Can I cum in your mouth?" He asked. He always asked even if the answer was always yes.

You hummed positively feeling the weight of his other hand on your head and hot cum filling your mouth as he moaned and gasped for air. "Oh baby..." He let out a loud groan when you took him out of your mouth. "Fuck, such a sweet mouth. You are so good to me." He said caressing your cheek affectionately. "This was amazing. Thank you."

You gulped his cum down unceremoniously and responded with a proud smile as you put his cock back inside his pants.   You stood up, taking his hand again and pulling him to stand up too, but he gave you that apologetical look again making you roll your eyes.

"I know you don't want to leave here before you finish your work, but we can stay. Your office is comfortable enough. I just need you and I think you need me too."

He hesitated for a moment, but then something in your face, probably the way you batted your eyelashes at him, made him chuckle and get up from the chair.

"You know you can get anything from me when you give me that look, don't you?" He said pinching your cheek.

"Anything? Really?" You confirmed.

"Anything." He said wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you closer to him. You chuckled and wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him softly. "Then leave work for later and make love to me."

Stephen hummed allowing himself to be pulled across the room. There was a small two-seater recamier in front of the unlit fireplace and that was exactly where you led him.

The night was particularly cold so Stephen lit the fireplace with a quick and almost imperceptible gesture of his fingers and in the same way he locked the door to his office. At the beginning of your relationship he tried not to use magic in front of you, but now, years later, you were used to small things like this.

You touched his face and pulled him to your lips, kissing him like you haven't done it in days, hungrily, thirstily and most of all passionately. And oh, how he loved it when you kissed him like that.

Your hands began to unbuckle his belts and he let himself be undressed slowly, piece by piece while you devoured him with your eyes. There was something about the passion with which you looked at him that made him feel like the luckiest man on earth.

Stephen never had trouble getting a lay. Women used to throw themselves into his arms in the days when he worked as a surgeon at the hospital and he had fucked pretty much every woman that worked there, but none of that could be compared to what he had with you. You were the first woman Stephen made love to. And before, he swore that the term was nothing more than a silly romanticization of sex, but you changed his mind. You changed him completely and he knew that no sex in the world could compare to making love with someone who truly loves you.

"What is it?" You asked, probably noticing the way he looked at you as you helped him get rid of his underwear, leaving him completely naked for you. Your eyes left his for a second to see what you should already know. He was ready for you again. In fact, there was no way he wouldn't be when your eyes seemed to burn his skin with desire.

"I love you, Y/n. I know I've said this a million times, but I..."

You kissed him again, interrupting him and then nodded "And I love you. You have no idea how in love I am with you and every day I feel like I love you more."

He smiled feeling your hand running down his chest and going to where he needed you most at that moment. You grabbed him and pumped him slowly up and down and he cupped your face with both hands resting his forehead on yours "These hands..."

You just smiled, squeezing your hand around him a little tighter and then gently pushing him to sit down and proceeding to undress yourself for him. You were so beautiful. Your hair, Your eyes, the shape of your body, everything was so inviting.

You started by taking off your pajama top. You weren't wearing anything underneath it, so he was treated to the wonderful view of your breasts, the nipples hardened by the cold night air. You caressed one of your breasts to tease him, knowing full well how much he loved them. Then you reached down and took off your shorts and panties, quickly kicking them to the side on the floor and walked over to him with a proud smile on your lips. 

You knew. You knew exactly what the sight of your naked body did to your husband and you liked it.

"Come here, baby. Let me touch you. You said you miss my touch." He said.

You nodded holding the hand he extended to you and straddling his thighs.

You took both hands to the temples of his glasses and gently took them off and put them on with a smile plastered on your face. Stephen couldn't help his own smile.

"What do you think?" You asked with a cute pout.

"Charming. It looks much better on you than it does on me, that's for sure."

You shook your head, removing the glasses and placing them to the side. "I like you with glasses, even though you don't like me to see you wearing them."

Stephen stroked your cheek. "I'm a vain man. It's hard to accept that I have to wear them, let alone that you see me with them."

 "Silly." You said, leaning in to kiss him and Stephen wasted no time, he needed to be inside you. He missed you as much as you missed him.

He spat into his hand and rubbed the saliva over the red, extremely sensitive head and directed it towards your entrance. You both moaned loudly as you let yourself sink down onto his cock, the penetration easy but tight. Stephen loved how you felt so warm and wet around him, it felt so good. To be inside you always felt like home.

There was nothing in the world that compared to the feeling of having Stephen inside you. He was big, thick, but not only that, he was the love of your life.

His hands grabbed your waist as you began to move slowly, rotating your hips sensually and feeling him fill every inch of you. You closed your eyes and increased the pace, your hand seeking support on his shoulder, the other twisting a nipple between your fingers.

"Just like that, baby. You look so beautiful riding me like this. Feels so good."

He pulled you to his lips and kissed you hard, his hips thrusting up which made you moan between his lips. He brought one hand between you and started circling your clit with it which made your entire body shake on top of his and he hummed in satisfaction. "So sensitive. Tell me, was it that touch you were missing so much?"

You nodded vehemently "Oh yes" You responded increasing the pace of your hips as you moved up and down, fucking him, but it didn't feel like It was enough, you needed more.

"Baby please..." You murmured between countless tireless kisses "...need more."

He immediately held your waist and started thrusting up, going deep and giving you the relief you wanted. A little scream left your lips as he reached that special spot inside you.

"Yes, yes, yes..." You screamed amid the sound of your bodies colliding "Oh my god, baby..." But he interrupted your cries with a hungry kiss as he held you tight in his arms and got up dragging you to the floor.  Your back touched the plush rug and his lips trailed down your chin and neck until they found their destination on your breasts. He held them with both trembling hands as he sucked one nipple and then the other and gave small bites to your skin, hiding his face between them and moaning as he did so.

"Stephen..." You begged and he surrendered. He directed his dick back to your entrance and slowly penetrated you, burying his face in the crook of your neck while your legs were intertwined behind his back and he began to thrust slowly, but putting more strength and intensity with each thrust until he reached a hard rhythm.

You wrapped your arm around his back, nails digging into his flesh while the other got lost in the sea of ​​dark and silver hair, fingers tangling in the soft strands, pulling them with each thrust that was quickly taking you to your limit.

Your moans right in his ear and your fingers tugging at his hair in rhythm with each thrust were triggers that were driving Stephen to his limit. He could feel his balls tightening, his cock was pulsing deliciously and he didn't want to fight it. He was in paradise, lost between your legs he felt like the happiest man in the world. He searched for your lips and kissed you hard feeling your walls contract around him.

"Baby tell me you're close" He asked between your lips and you nodded.

"Yes baby, so close. No need to hold it. Just give it to me." You said between desperate kisses on his lips. You knew him so well, he even needed to tell you that he was about to cum. You simply knew how to read all the signs on his body.

Stephen moaned loudly surrendering to his own pleasure. He gave three more strong thrusts and then stopped, burying his face in your neck and moaning deliciously in your ear. The sound was the ultimate trigger that launched you straight into your high as you felt him filling you with hot cum and your walls contracted around him as your legs trembled beneath him.

"Oh baby I love you." He whispered in your ear before allowing himself to look at you. There was a beautiful smile on his lips and tenderness in his blue eyes. All the tiredness you saw in them seemed to have disappeared.

...

The Sanctum was dark and silent when Wong stepped through the portal into the main hall. However, the light emanating through Defender's office door showed that the Sorcerer Supreme was still engrossed in his tireless work.

That made Wong sigh. A man needed to recognize that he was just a man and needed rest like any other human being.

Wong devoted himself to the duty that brought him there in the first place and was about to leave when he decided to beg Stephen to go to sleep. He knocked and waited. The sorcerer's voice came soon after.

"Yes."

Wong tried the handle, but the door was locked, which was strange.

"Can I come in?" He asked and when he heard a chuckle coming from the room he understood.

"I don't think it would be appropriate at the moment." Defender replied and another chuckle was heard. "Is it something important? Give me two minutes. I'll meet you in the lounge."

Wong smiled to himself. All his worries melting away. "No. It's okay. I talked to everyone involved and we managed to work out the latest plans for the mission. We'll leave tomorrow night. I'll keep you informed. Take the opportunity to rest, Stephen."

He turned to leave and then he heard Y/n's familiar voice "Good night, Wong."

"Indeed, my dear." He muttered to himself opening a portal back to Kamar Taj. The Sorcerer Supreme would be fine as long as he had his wife to make sure that happened."

...

"He's going to be traumatized." You said, laughing softly.

Although the night was cold, the heat coming from the fireplace combined with the heavy blanket Stephen had conjured and his own body heat were more than enough to keep you warm.

He was lying with his back on the rug and his arm extended to support your shoulders. Your legs were tangled with his lazily.

"He should be pretty used to it by now." He responded caressing your cheek with the back of his hand. "He was worried about me, just like you. That's why he offered to go on the mission in my place."

You nodded, lifting your head to stare at him. "I know things get difficult sometimes, but you need to learn to delegate, Stephen. Especially now."

"I know." He sighed and you noticed how he looked less tired now. You didn’t really think you could save him of all his problems, but it was undeniable that he felt better when he spent quality time with you.

"He knows." Stephen confessed.

You smirked knowing exactly what he was talking about. "I thought we agreed to keep it a secret until the end of the first trimester."

He nodded. "I needed to tell him. Wong is my best friend and my right-hand man. He helps me manage this madness that is Kamar Taj. He needed to know and besides, I know you two are going to be okay and I can't wait to see it growing inside of you."  He said, lowering his hand to your belly and keeping it there.

"Still, I'd rather wait before telling anyone else. Promise me you won't tell anyone else."

"I promise."

You smiled "Are you really happy with it? I know we weren't planning on it."

"I'm very happy. And terrified." He said chuckling and you cupped his face and kissed him.

"Me too. But I know we can do this because we have each other."

Stephen nodded and tilted his head up to kiss you again, this time harder and then turned around putting you underneath him, his hips pushing his way between your legs, his face lost in the sea of ​​your hair taking a deep breath and then kissing you again .

"You're like medicine to me, you know? It's incredible how you can make me feel better when I'm having a hard day. I was on the verge of a terrible migraine, but now I'm cured."

You held his face in your hands and smiled proudly "It's good to know that I have such power over the great Sorcerer Supreme."

He kissed you and lightly bit your lower lip "You have no idea" He said grounding his fast hardening cock against your core, which made you moan softly into his lips.

"Again?" You confirmed, watching him bring a hand between you. He rubbed himself a few times and then entered you again.

“Fuck yes.” He responded with a groan.

It seemed that the books had been long forgotten.

Reblog please! Leave a comment if you liked it. Interact! I will love to read all of your comments and opinions. It inspires me to keep writing!

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[fantomette22]

Do you have any recommendations of bloodborne fan fiction? :3 I'm getting hungry for Laurence 👀

Heya!!! I'm very honoured you are asking me of all people! 👀 I mean maybe you did ask other people too x)

Hm I will try to put here a few links! But that really depends what you want to read 🤔

Do you prefer Fanfics very Laurence-centric? Some where he's just a character between many others? Do you want actions based fics? Something more calm but who are very thoughtful? Something very tragic where Laurence die or when he start to loose it maybe? At which moment of his life? Or do you prefer fics more based into relationships with other characters? And in this case which pairings? Are you more comfortable with something soft where there's just tension or maybe something more intimate? Are you alright with something more graphic and mature perhaps? (there's some very wild fics if you take the time to read some tags on ao3 but I really can't bring myself to read them XD).

Or are you the type of person that will take almost ANYTHING because you are so desperate for the slightest thing? 😂

So yeah it really depends what you are looking for.

But anyway if you are asking ME for recommendations should I understand it's really the ones I read and like? Well I was kinda busy this last few months to read fics. And when I did, I really tend to focus my time to read some featuring particular characters (like gehrman for ex). Fics focus on Laurence aren't my thing except in a few cases (even if he's in my top 5 characters)

But now I will have more time to read and finish written mine as well! That make me think...

Before I sent many link with fics mainly focused on Laurence I know I guess I need to put mine and my friend fic there as well x) They are mostly centred around Maria I supposed but also many other characters as well.

Christened in Blood written my dear friend @heraldofcrow

It's mostly focus on Maria & Bloody Crow backstory + her interpretation of how the lore went. Laurence is there a bit too XD he might show up more later as well.

My own fanfiction, A scholar's dream. It's one of my more complete headcanon/interpretation retracing all the events of the lore before the game. At least 1/4 of it for this first fic, that I haven't finished yet. It's mostly based on how the old blood was discovered by Byrgenwerth, how the healing church was founded, many characters backstory on how they meet. And university shenanigans. (I have 2/3 of chap 7 completed I will try to continue soon). It's focus on many characters and well Laurence is quite an important figure there. Not the most important but still important enough.

Alright now I tried to re find a few fics with Laurence as a main character i remembered reading too. There's some i didn't had time to read yet but are mainly focus on Laurence and written by a few people I know as well. or generally have many people on Tumblr who read them.

Bloodorne fanfictions by @mrslittletall like the Crazy Cat Vicar

Fics mainly focus on Laurence/Micolash :

Bloodborne fanfictions by @karnaca78

Bloodborne Fanfictions by @synthwayve

and fanfictions by @kiybee

---

@subzeroparade have written many fics where Laurence is the focus as well.

There's a lot of other fics focus on Laurence/Ludwig or with Laurence/Brador as well, even caryll/laurence. I had to dig in ao3 a little but go check it out you might found cool things! (sorry didn't had time to read them all for sure) there's also many little oneshots, focus with only Laurence or even bigger multi chapter fics with Laurence being a main character or not.

I remember reading Synchrony a while ago and it was cool I think. It's mostly focus on Ludwig and his adventures at Byrgenwerth.

I think there were why very cool entered around Laurence at Byrgenwerth as well + gehrman and fanfic.net. I tried to found it again but failed.

I can't just put the entirety and fanfic.net, ao3 and many others so I will stop there I think x) sorry I forgot anyone ;-;

If you want others based on other trope/characters please let me know I will try my best.

[serandipity]

❗❗❗ botw zelda and mipha || Surprise Kiss Meme - Closed || @agloryofuniicorns

Mipha sat on Vah Ruta, looking out across the lake her mind elsewhere for the moment. She had only recently accepted the mantle of the champion of Vah Ruta, but it felt like everything had changed. The Zora had always looked up to Princess, put her on a pedestal-- a graceful princess that could do no wrong, and accepting the role as a champion of the divine beast had only made this worse.

Truthfully, she was starting to feel even lonelier than usual. It was hard to be in the domain sometimes with every single person reminding her of every single duty she had to live up to. Wasn't this what she wanted though-- to be a strong and ephemeral presence like her late mother?

"Mipha." A voice cut through the noise in her head and she turned to see a familiar face.

"Ah... Princess Zelda. Did you go to the domain looking for me?" Mipha asked, "My apologies. I just... wanted some quiet." Mipha said quietly her hands folded neatly in her lap as Zelda came to sit beside her.

"I did, and when your father said you were off training I had a feeling you'd be out here."

Mipha smiled tersly, as if she was ashamed her lie had been discovered, "And here I am playing hooky. My apologies."

Zelda shook her head, "No. I understand how you feel. Believe me. I.... There's always something suffocating about the castle recently. It's another reason why I spend so much time away investigating Sheikah technology."

Zelda always had the uncanny ability to sense things. Maybe it was part of her abilities that she didn't realize or maybe it was just because they'd known each other long enough. They were both intimately aware of each other's struggles.

"I must seem rather foolish for feeling so morose given your own struggles with your court." Mipha muttered, looking away from her friend. Zelda shook her head once more.

"I think the feelings are similar regardless. The weight of duty can be crushing, and just because you can carry it, doesn't make it any less of a burden." Zelda reached out to take Mipha's hand in hers. Her hands were warm, but not soft. Her adventures had left them calloused much like Link's.

"Those are wise words, Princess... And here I thought I was the older one."

"Pfft... only by a few months. And how many times do I have to tell you to call me 'Zelda' when we're alone? We've known each other long enough, Mipha."

Mipha felt herself flushing ever so slightly. Mipha sometimes didn't know when to turn the formalities off. It was a small flaw that only Zelda was seemingly aware of.

"Forgive me." Mipha said softly, her hands gently squeezing Zelda's. Mipha didn't really want to admit it to herself, but having someone who could understand was truly a comfort. Zelda smiled warmly as they sat in silence for awhile, just enjoying each others company.

However, after a long silence Zelda once again spoke.

"Mipha, I've been thinking about what will happen once this war is done, and you... you've never been out of the Lanayru province outside of visiting Hyrule Castle, have you?"

"No, I haven't."

"I was thinking maybe we could take a trip. Just the two of us."

"I fear without my unique needs I might be a poor travel companion. You would be better off taking someone like Lady Urbosa or Link, or.."

"But I want to take you," Zelda insisted. Mipha felt a small flush creeping across her skin, "I want both of us to be able to get away from our duties for a little while." Zelda seemed insistent. Their fingers were now laced together and Mipha could feel her heart rate beginning to pick up every so slightly. Had Zelda's hand always been so warm?

"But why me? Surely there are other people--"

"Because I..." Zelda's face was contemplative for a moment before she seemed to have settled on an idea. It was several long moments before Zelda leaned and Mipha found their lips touching. They were warm, much like her hands. They stayed like that for seemingly an eternity, and maybe Mipha, who could never quite articulate her feelings wished this moment could last just a little longer.

"Do you understand now?"

"...Yes."

Ah, but if only the fates had been as understanding.

[just-a-carrot]

Helloooo!!! I was looking for inspo for my own visual novel a little while back, it's set in a ballroom so eventually the keywords lead me to discovering save the last dance (and itch.io in general im a total noob to this lmao) i dont know what it was but it just like took a vice grip around me INSTANTLYY.

So I downloaded the main game today and I am actually silently cursing you because I got nothing done all day I was just like transfixed. The artstyle grew on me alot, and oh godd the character designs... God I love the designs, espcially Genzhou's. There's just so much love (even in every gruesome death scene lol) put into this it's almost difficult not to get obssesed...

Also sidenote I found it kind of encouraging almost to see that you're (self-proclaimed) older, I found that really inspirational lol. There's something that just makes me want to create and actually sit down and learn when I play your games. I guess I've always had this feeling of having all the time in the world but recently I've been feeling almost like it's too late to learn new skills (which is kind if ridicolius since I'm like smack dab in the middle of gen z). Regardless I guess your work made me realize the artistry in visual novels, I could keep going but I tend to ramble lol

ahhhhhhhh this is so sweet!! i got very weepy reading this, especially as i'm already feeling quite soft today as it was a bit of an anxious one... 😭💕

that's fascinating that you found StLD first searching for ballroom stuff!! i am always curious how people first find out about any of my games. i'm happy you enjoyed it, especially enough to go play the main game sob. i'm incredibly touched

and i'm even more touched that you've been enjoying the main game so much 😭💕💕💕 especially all the kind words about the art!! i've grown more confident in my art more recently but especially in the beginning stages of the game i was incredibly self-conscious and worried about it because it was rather odd-looking and didn't match any other typical VN styles. so that's really sweet of you to say. this game certainly has had a lot of love put into it (and blood, sweat, tears, my entire life... etc.). it is very much a big passion project and my eyes were perhaps too big when i got started, but because it dug itself so deep into my psyche and i also made some good decisions like releasing in parts, etc., i've been able to keep working on it until the end despite it taking me like 2.5+ years so far. i'm not even sure i can put into words what this game and chars have done for me and my life and the many journeys and discoveries i've made along the way

dkjfalsdkf yes... i am a millenial, i will say that much. though i don't often feel like one. except for the fact that i often have no idea what people are talking about or referencing and tend to be awkward and confused most of the time LOL this is also why my characters are all older, as well. i sometimes feel a bit strange since i feel much older than many of the others in the VN dev sphere (well, perhaps in age only, not really in mental maturity maybe LKDJAFLKDS). if this can give inspiration to others that are also a bit older though, then i am glad 🤣 i have spent much of my life going from thing to thing and never really knowing exactly what i want to do. case in point my current job has nothing to do with my master's degree. though the one constant has always been creation of some kind, whether it's drawing or writing (and now with games, doing both of those on top of scripting and coding and a bajillion other things lol). i don't think you should ever feel "too old" to do something. or to get started doing something. or to feel like you "haven't done enough" etc. i say this so strongly because i also try to reassure myself sometimes perhaps LOL it's also ok if you don't know what you want to do so you're just trying out different ideas that you're passionate about. so many of us just wanna find something that makes us feel fulfilled and passionate, that makes our hearts ache, that fills us with joy and motivation. so if you can find something that does that for you, no matter how old you are, grab it and don't ever let go lkdajfalskd

at any rate, i'm glad i could also help you discover more about VNs in general. i hope it will be helpful as you work on your own games!!! 💕

[stranded-labyrinth]

Hi, I find you terrifying to interact with but you're my favorite person on all of tumblr and I love your Hannibal content more than I love to breathe

would you be willing to recommend some hannigram fics you like? I adore everything you write about them, but that also means I read and re-read all of it many times so I wanted to check if maybe you'd share some recs

thank you and I love you're brilliant

first off, i love you SO much for this, and second, i'd be more than happy to provide fic recs!! it's been a while since my last list, so let me go through my bookmarks again :]

Kindness, I Suppose by McRibFarewellTour

"Disturbed by the way his manipulations have panned out, Will decides to abjure both Hannibal's plan and Jack's and invents one of his own. Deep conversations, torturing Hannibal with low-class accommodations, and Will hyperfixating on the history of New Orleans, all with the well-loved backdrop of a forced road trip."

i actually was just finishing this one as i went to answer your ask, and oh my god, i am in love with this fic. McRibFarewellTour is a fairly new AO3 author, but i've loved everything they've made

You're Looking Like I Feel by McRibFarewellTour

"Will’s been out of prison for a week, and Hannibal still hasn’t heard from him. Needless to say, he does not find this acceptable and decides to take action."

one of the best depictions of Will having a perfect idea for revenge on Hannibal that i've seen yet. it combines ideas we've all had for the best way for him to truly hurt Hannibal, with something new that i haven't seen from anything else yet. heed the tags!

That Which Has Been Ignored by virtuous_contract

"Behind him, Hannibal’s breathing is barely audible. Always so damn composed. Or perhaps Hannibal is really asleep? Perhaps the touch is only accidental? It’s the soft pad of a thumb on the back of his neck and the tips of loosely curled fingers stirring his curls more than resting against his skin. Shouldn’t he hate it? Or at the very least, fear it? Deep down he feels something else entirely. Relief of some undefined kind that he fiercely pushes away and refuses to acknowledge. It’s too embarrassing. He can’t be that person. Can’t be that weak."

a delightful touch-starved and maybe even shy post-fall Will on the run with Hannibal, going from hotel to hotel. lots of pining. i shan't say more, just know it's currently one of my favorite one shots.

to swallow smoke by ghostforwhat

"After all that, he had just needed a little release. A quick stop at a gas station on the way here had easily produced what he was searching for; a soft pack of cigarettes now bulging in his shirt pocket, hidden from the downpour as he ducks under the small awning over the office door."

how could i not include this one? part one already had me romanticizing things i should likely never romanticize, and part two extended that tenfold. it's something you need to experience. if you don't fare well with smut, at least read part one.

oh, to be the life and soul will be the death of me by Serindrana

huge fic description that's a passage from the fic, but this is essentially a one shot that combines mutual pining with Will discovering that Hannibal is indeed The Chesapeake Ripper...in the middle of one of Hannibal's dinner parties.

to the victor go the spoils by zipegs

8.9k word smut one shot that follows a dinner at Hannibal's between him, Alana, and Will, in which Alana leaves when she can no longer abide the tension. a very bitter Will ends up taking things in quite some direction, using a very particular sort of power in lieu of revenge, while also ensnaring himself in the very net he attempts to catch Hannibal in.

Small Repairs by Devereauxs_Disease

"It started with a clogged drain. Will put himself in a position to rescue Hannibal's dinner party, hoping to ingratiate himself to the good doctor as he gathered evidence. What he didn't anticipate was how much fun it was to fix things for Hannibal Lecter. In return, Hannibal offered to act as a cooking tutor for Will Graham, talking him through making dinner nearly every night. Are small home repairs really enough to fix what's been broken between these two?"

as always, i love their work. there's a particular scene i love near the end that i won't spoil, but i'll say that it has to do with Will having a very particular way to notice Hannibal's vulnerability, even from afar :]

A Sepulchre in This Kingdom by petrodactyl352

"The first time Hannibal meets Death, he is eight years old."

how could i not include the fic based on my own prompt? a delightful gift <3 i'm still obsessed with this concept even now

Hidden Potential by sourweather

"The first time you make eye contact with your soul mate, you see a vision of their greatest accomplishment. They call it your Peak. Unfortunately for Will Graham, his soul mate's Peak is a vision of blood and horror. Fortunately for Hannibal Lecter, his soul mate's is too."

a very particular kind of soulmate AU, and i was on the edge of my seat nearly every chapter wanting to see where everything would go. as usual, sourweather does NOT disappoint :]

touch me, i'm cold (unable to control) by Naomi_Riddle

"Dr. Hannibal Lecter lacks nothing. He’s definitely not lonely, and he’s certainly not touch-starved. And he absolutely, positively doesn’t have a thing for Will Graham. So when Abigail Hobbs is discharged from the Port Haven Psychiatric Facility, he suggests that she should move in with him - and so should Will. It’s only fair, as they’re both her legal guardians. A domestic, fluffy little fic of touch-starved down bad Hannibal Lecter, oblivious Will Graham, and sassy Abigail Hobbs who conspires to get her gay dads together. Featuring Winston and Company."

this one is still ongoing, and it's the one i look forward to the absolute most currently when it comes to fics updating. i've seen mutual pining domestic vibes with these two, obviously, but placing it so early on and including the adoption of Abigail just scratches an itch i didn't know i had in my brain.

and with that, i think i've met where i ended off last time i recommended stuff from my bookmarks :] hope you enjoy!

[voraciousvore]

The Giant (8/16)

***Contains violence and soft vore***

------Chapter 8------

I stayed in the darkness of the giant's coat pocket for a long time, going who knows where, unable to escape. My nerves were run ragged. I imagined all sorts of terrible scenarios in my head. I didn't know what he planned to do with me, but I knew it was nothing good. Worst of all, I didn't think I had any hope of Chester finding me, considering he was currently lying unconscious in a puddle of his own blood. My scent was still concealed, or at least muted, seeing as how the evil giant had still been able to discover me. Tracking me over a long distance would be very difficult if not impossible.

Essentially, I was doomed. I curled up into a fetal position and shivered uncontrollably. Why had I been stupid enough to put myself at such risk? I didn't blame Chester for my predicament. Although he had suggested the idea, I had still agreed to it knowing the inherent danger involved. I should have known better.

From the outside world, I heard a door open, then slam shut as the giant walked through it. I felt him move forward several paces, then stop. His hand moved into the pocket and he roughly seized me in his fist. I knew better than to struggle, even though his grasp was constricting me. He threw me onto the hard surface of a table and sat down. The sparse room was dimly lit by a bare bulb hanging from the ceiling above the table, leaving most of it shrouded in dark gloom. The giant leaned his elbows on the table and held his chin in his hands, observing me with his frigid glare. I felt very small with his vast form towering over me. I already knew from experience that any giant-sized table would be too high to jump off of and survive, so I stayed in place where I had landed, shivering with fear. I held my arms tight against my tiny figure, as if trying to create a barrier between the monstrous giant and me. He didn't speak, only watched my every move in silence. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, I couldn't take it anymore and spoke up.

"W-w-what are you going to do with me?" I choked out in a quivering voice.

He raised an eyebrow. "I haven't decided yet." He leaned forward over me and laid a hand on the table. I took a step back. For a while there was silence again. I broke into a cold sweat but was too petrified to speak. Being under his gaze was so uncomfortable but I couldn't look away. The giant reached his huge hand toward me and I cowered down, but he prodded me with his finger and forced me to face him again. He lifted my face up with the tip of his finger under my chin, and pivoted my head to the side, then began examining the rest of my body. He lifted my arm and rotated it between the tips of two fingers. I dared not move, lest he break one of my bones, even by accident. I hated feeling so fragile, so small, so helpless under the threat of overwhelming menace.

"How lucky I am," the giant murmured to himself. "Not just any human, but a young woman. My favorite flavor." I felt exceedingly nauseous. Without warning, he lowered his head down and yanked my arm up to his enormous lips. I squealed in fear but could do nothing to retaliate as he sucked my arm into his lips, almost up to my shoulder. I felt the slick surface of a large tooth on my hand, then the recognizable sliminess of his tongue as it rubbed against my arm. I pulled away but my strength was insignificant compared to his and my arm didn't budge from inside his mouth. I froze in horror when I felt his two rows of teeth touch around my wrist. If he bit down now, my hand would be severed clean off. Instead, his jaws opened and he released my arm. I fell back on the table, trembling. I started to believe I would be better off jumping off the table to my death then let this terrible giant man kill me.

The giant peeled his lips back into a savage smile that gave me chills. He reached his hand under the table, presumably to grab something from his other coat pocket, and his hand reappeared with an object concealed in it. With a flick of his wrist, the mystery object was revealed to be a pocketknife, the long blade glinting wickedly in the dim light. I jumped back and tried to run, but the giant knocked me down, pinning me against the table with his fingers. I flailed about in vain as the gigantic knife grew closer, its shiny edge hungering for my blood. The giant rotated the blade so it was facing upwards, then sliced it up through my shirt, grazing my belly in the process. The cut was not very deep, but I screamed anyways as I felt hot blood drip out of the wound. The giant rubbed the wound with the tip of his finger and sampled my blood with his tongue.

"Mmmmmm, your blood is savory," he remarked. "Delicious. Maybe I ought to carve you up in pieces and eat you that way." He considered the concept briefly, his calm juxtaposed against my absolute panic. "Then again, I'd prefer to have you alive inside my stomach. It feels so much better when you humans wriggle around in there." He brought the knife down on me again, this time cutting through my pants and part of my thigh. I cried out, and he laughed cruelly, enjoying my suffering. He skimmed the blade against my other leg, drawing more blood, then left shallow cuts on my arms, my breast, even my face, just enough to make me bleed. By this point, I was sobbing. I knew I couldn't reason with him, couldn't ask him to spare me, but I attempted one last despairing plea.

"Please," I begged. "Please, don't torture me like this. Just kill me!" To my surprise, he stopped. He retracted the knife and picked me up with his other hand, hoisting me high in the air inches above his face. He examined me for a long, excruciating moment, with those icy blue eyes, that same frosty expression.

"No."

That single word hit me like a punch in the gut. His countenance twisted into an ugly grimace and he sniggered again pitilessly. I went limp in his hand, defeated. Whatever shreds of hope I had remaining had been crushed into dust. I closed my eyes, trying to accept my inevitable fate, but still couldn't stop my tears. I felt his warm breath on my face and I knew all was lost. I opened my eyes to see that he was holding me up to his lips again. I cringed, knowing what was coming next. His mouth opened, displaying a red fleshy cavern full of monstrously huge teeth. He tossed me inside his mouth and slammed his jaws shut.

I had become accustomed to being inside Chester's mouth, but I trusted Chester not to actually hurt or swallow me, and he was always as gentle as possible with every movement. This giant, on the other hand, was much rougher, rolling me on his tongue and knocking me against his teeth. He also positioned me in between his rows of teeth a few times, but never actually bit down, perhaps because he reveled in frightening me and wanted to keep me alive for the next stage. Still, I shuddered at the touch of the sharp points of his molars. The cuts all over my body stung with the contamination of his saliva, and continued to seep blood which I'm sure he found disgustingly delightful.

I soon became aware that the powerful tongue was beginning to shuttle me back to the ominous gullet, and prepared myself for a final act of resistance. When I was close enough to the entrance of the esophagus to start sliding down the rearward curve of the tongue, I coiled up my legs and delivered a mighty kick to the back of his throat, as hard as I could. The giant choked and coughed, forcefully flinging me forward. Unfortunately, he managed to keep me contained inside his mouth despite all the excessive movement and obstinately refused to spit me out. After failing to subdue his cough, his mouth began to open, and for a split second I erroneously thought I may have a chance to escape. That dream was swiftly quenched with a deluge of water that swept me backwards, and before I knew it I was poured straight down his throat as he swallowed me along with the water.

I thought I was going to drown inside his esophagus, but the water flowed down the tube faster than a solid body, so I was spared that particular torture. However, I still struggled to breathe as the meaty walls crushed me and forced me down toward his digestive system. The journey down was long and arduous, claustrophobic and hot. I weakly tried to fight back by kicking my legs, but I didn't have enough room to move. I heard his heart pounding loudly and his lungs blowing air as I passed through his chest. Eventually I dropped down into his stomach.

Even though I didn't want to give the giant the satisfaction of feeling me squirm inside his gut, I was still panicked enough to attempt to escape, so I punched and kicked and body slammed his stomach lining with all the might I could muster. The flesh around me twitched and gurgled but otherwise did not yield. The knife cuts on my skin burned due to the stomach acid. After several minutes of thrashing about and shouting curses into the void, I gave up. There was no reasoning with this ruthless giant; he would never voluntarily let me out. I flopped down in a puddle of acid and cried. I really didn't want to die, not here. Being digested alive was a horrible way to go. The heat and fumes were unbearable. The sensations of the stomach churning and gurgling made me nauseous. I just hoped I would lose consciousness like the last time I was eaten, before experiencing the agony of having my flesh melt off of my bones.

I buried my face in my hands and tried to mentally bolster myself for the torture I was enduring. I had to accept that the giant's belly would be my sepulcher. I had no other choice. I prayed to whatever god was out there for a merciful death. The acid was starting to cause me pain. How long would it take to digest me anyways? A couple hours? I knew it wasn't exactly a quick process. I honestly couldn't think of a worse situation I could be in at this point.

I became dimly aware of a commotion outside, and heard some crashing and a disembodied voice yelling but couldn't distinguish any words. The organ I was inside shifted and I realized the giant had stood up. He began to laugh, a harsh, mirthless laugh that reverberated through his belly. I shuddered at the sound.

"You're too late," the giant bellowed. Who was he talking to? I heard a muffled angry voice shout unintelligibly in reply. The voice sounded familiar. Was it... Chester? I didn't have time to process this new development as the meat around me began to move rapidly, leaving me disorientated. There must have been some sort of scuffle going on out there. I didn't know what to make of any of it. Suddenly, the giant let out a thundering groan and his stomach seemed to crumple inward around me. All at once the contents of his innards, me included, were driven upwards with startling force. I was rammed back up into the esophagus and ascended through the tube via muscular contractions. With a deafening retch I squeezed through the gullet and found myself in the giant's mouth. I slid down his gigantic tongue and was granted passage through the walls of teeth and out to glorious freedom. I landed on the floor with an uncomfortable splash in a pool of vomit. I sucked in breaths of fresh air, gasping like a fish.

Gazing up, I saw the massive giant hunched over me, face scrunched up in pain, gripping his stomach with his arms. He fell on his side next to me with an epic crash, making me jump. I noticed he had fresh bruises that hadn't been on his body before he had devoured me. As I was looking over at him, a colossal shadow blocked out the light from above. Before I could react, I was scooped up off the floor by two huge hands.

"Jaclyn!" Chester cried, "Oh, my little Jaclyn! Are you alright?" He hugged me tight against his chest with his hands.

"Chester! Thank God!" I embraced him, pushing myself against his warm chest, and in a flood of emotions began sobbing uncontrollably.

"Oh, Jackie... I'm so sorry," Chester expressed in a soft voice, stroking me gently with his finger. He began to tear up too. He pulled himself out of a crouch and walked over to the nearest sink to wash the stomach acid off my skin. He turned on the faucet and drenched me in wonderfully cool, clean water. I had been inside the giant's stomach for longer than the last time I had been eaten, and was pretty sure I had some chemical burns this time around. Once I was rinsed off, Chester examined my wounds and sighed despondently.

"I should have never taken you out," he admitted, almost more to himself than to me. "It was my job to protect you and I failed."

I looked up into his watery green eyes. He had dried blood in his hair and on his face. "It wasn't your fault Chester," I assured him. "I agreed to take on the risk and go with you, so I share some of the responsibility. It doesn't matter, everything is okay now, you saved me." I hugged his thumb and he smiled with relief.

"Let's get out of here before that monster gets up and attacks us again," Chester proposed, hastily making his way to the door. On his way out, he delivered a brutal kick to the other giant man hard in his side, causing the evil giant to grunt and clutch himself tighter. Chester tucked me into the front pocket of his hoodie and began the journey home.

Chester took some detours on the way, so the other giant couldn't track us and find out where we lived. When we finally made it back to his cottage in the woods, he took me to the bathroom so I could properly wash off the rest of the filthy digestive fluids. He applied healing ointment to my wounds and cut up some gauze into thin strips to bandage me up. Although I was in pain, I thanked my lucky stars I hadn't been hurt worse. For his part, Chester washed the blood off his hair and face and bandaged his head.

We were both exhausted after our long ordeal, so we went straight to bed. Chester held me possessively against his chest, as if afraid he would lose me. I quickly fell asleep to the sound of his heart beating.

Chapter 9

Chapter 1

[cellsshapedlikestars]

I just randomly thought about your Switched At Birth one shot again and can I just say, I think it’s so remarkable that you have written so many one shots that are so interesting that I find myself every once in a while thinking of them and trying to fill in the gaps in my head? This one in particular because there’s so many tropes it could fulfil while also being totally unique that I’m genuinely obsessed.

I used to only read book!canon fics but you have converted me into a modern setting AU stan. Can I also just say that I’m so grateful for you choosing to write your modern AUs based on the books and not the show (aka calling Asha by her actual name and not Yara? I swear a fic could be so well written it’d deserve a Pulitzer but if I read the names Yara or Talisa a part of me immediately gets turned off and I have to force myself to continue reading… same with mentions of past Sansa x R*ms*y).

Idk I just wanted to show you some love. I’ve had a really terrible year so far but going back into the fandom (after The Dreadful announcement lmao) and discovering your account (alongside a handful of other fantastic writers) has been a bright spot.

Allllsooooo I recently dreamed that the GOT cast was on Love Island (Luv Oisland)… I blame the Bachelor story for that idk. I don’t even like reality tv!

Anon, this is so sweet!!

I think that was one of the first prompt fics I ever wrote! Some of my favorite fics come from prompts, so shoutout to the people who send me them (even if I haven't written one in a while...)

I'm so, so sorry you've had a bad year, and I hope it gets better! It was so nice to see people pop back up after the Dreadful announcement! And there are some really really excellent writers in the fandom, even if it's not as active as it was during the show's heyday.

Also I love the idea that you're dreaming about reality TV because of my fic that is HILARIOUS.

As for the books vs show... I'm gonna put that under the cut cause I feel like my opinions on the show & show-based fic might offend some people lol.

I don't write show canon for a reason haha.

I don't like most of the later show characterizations - sad sack Jon in particular, but I've also expressed on here before that I'm not the biggest fan of bondage dress bitchy side-eye Sansa who tells the Hound that no, it was a good thing she was raped and abused, actually, because now she's a strong woman :) She wasn't before, before she was weak and silly and it took being sexually assaulted to be Better. Girl power! Ugh. They completely abandoned the parts of her character I love (her softness, her dreaminess, and especially her political astuteness when dealing with a mad ruler. Like, jesus, the way she was SO BAD at dealing with Dany still infuriates me). Despite all that, she's still one of my favorites on the show... not that that's saying a lot lol all the characters sucked by the end.

And I especially don't like a lot of the show-only decisions. Sansa being given to Ramsay, Arya becoming a literal psychopath mass murderer, the horrible way they did Dany's villain turn, Jon being exiled even though the people demanding it LEAVE THE COUNTRY AND THE KING IS HIS BROTHER-COUSIN. Even stuff as seemingly small as Talisa (the entire plot revolving around her and how it changes Robb's story, not necessarily the character herself).

Don't get me wrong, the show has some great moments, and I will forever be grateful for the Jonsa stuff in s6, because I don't know if I'd be a shipper without it (I didn't ship them when I was just reading the books because I didn't really think about it), but to me, the show is a wash and I cannot reconcile the decisions made. No fix-it will ever fix it for me, and I genuinely dislike anything that involves prior Sansa/Ramsay.

well, this went longer than I thought. I could literally rant about how bad the end of the show was forever

[levis-nut-dump]

~Picnic~

First one shot im a Wattpad girl so bare with me here :')

(Description: The dream of your boyfriend the first night back at Paradis after the attack on Marley)

You unlock the door to your room at the scout headquarters. You haven't seen your home in months, and finally, after a long battle, You get to rest your head on your own pillow, it was well deserved too; You've been through a lot in these last few months away from home, more than any person could endure, but you're not any person, you're (Y/N) Ackerman, being strong comes with the name.

Of course, being strong wasn't always the easiest with the positions you've found yourself in often. You knew the hardships of being a scout before joining, but in your defense, you hadn't planned on putting your guard down until you met, him.

You change into your satin dark red sleeping gown. As soon as your head hits the pillow, your mind finds a euphoria like no other. The pillow was cold, soft, and it felt like your head was melting into it. Just as you were getting comfortable to drift into a long and well-deserved rest, a knock came to your door. You sigh and get up to answer the door, though you contemplated it for a minute.

When you open the door you're greeted with sun-blonde hair, a bright smile, and eyes as blue as the ocean you were recently aware of. You couldn't help but smile at your boyfriend, Every time you laid your eyes on him, all your troubles and despair drifted away. One smile warms your heart and one laugh lifts it high. You were young, just nineteen and recently discovered literally a whole new world, but you knew Armin Arlert was your forever person. "Armin." you smile.

Armin grinned. "I'm sorry If I woke you. It's our first day back home, and I wanted to take you on a picnic." he smiled brightly, holding up a picnic basket.

You blushed. "That sounds amazing, but, I didn't plan on leaving the apartment today." You said looking down. As you did, you wondered why you were turning him down. Something about this didn't feel right, something was off.

"That's perfect, we can do it here, so we can be alone." Armin pitched. You nodded and stepped out of the way so Armin could come in. He started to unpack the basket, laying a flowery blanket on the grown and unpacking homemade pasta and sandwiches. Despite this weird feeling in your gut, you couldn't resist Armin's pull on your heart.

You sit down with him, remember what you wore, and look at Armin. He wore a button-down shirt, baby blue with the sleeves rolled right past his elbows, khaki dress pants, and white shoes. He also showed off the necklace you had gotten him for your three-year anniversary last year. "Should I go change?" you asked, feeling a little embarrassed about how underdressed you were.

Armin smiled softly. "No. You look just perfect."

You beamed. Armin always had a way of making you feel beautiful when you felt anything but. This man. He came and broke the walls you had built so tall and strong, and loved you while you learned to love yourself, and somehow you loved him before you were fully able to accomplish that. Maybe he knows what going on with this strange feeling in your stomach. "Armin, something about being here doesn't feel right, like something is off." you stressed.

'Well, we did lose a lot of people we cared for (Y/N), it's only normal to feel that way coming back to where we did all of that loving and caring." he said softly. "I know it's hard."

You looked down. "It's devastating. How are you able to be so, you? I mean, I'm glad you are, but, aren't you sad?" You asked.

Armin made your plate. "Of course, I'm sad, my love, but being sad won't bring them back. If anything, it'll make them feel sad that rather than enjoying the rest of our lives that they couldn't, we sat around being sad because of the fact." You looked up from your lap to see Armin looking intensely into your eyes.

"It just feels, wrong. Wouldn't we be rubbing it in their faces? Us just moving on with our lives like they were never a part of it?" you asked.

"Moving on with your life doesn't have to mean you forget them, it means you try to figure out how to live without them in your presence, but they'll always be in your heart." Armin put his right hand on my cheek and the left on my hand. He kissed me softly on my lips. Again I had that gut-turning feeling in my stomach, but the flutter in my heart far outweighed it. "I'll, always be in your heart." he said as he tucked your hair behind your ear and looked into your eyes.

You put your hand on his as it rests against your cheek. "Armin~" you breathed as a tear fell from your eye.

"It's time to wake up my love. It's time to move on." he said with tears in his eyes but a smile on his face.

"I don't want to. I don't want to lose you." you sob.

"No, no baby. You didn't lose me. You never will. I'll always be here, you just won't be able to see me.

"It's not the same. It's not the same Armin."

"Trust me, I know, and this pains me right to my very core, that this will be the last time my lips touch yours," he said as he gently pecked your lips. "This last time my hands will feel your soft skin, the last time your (E/C) eyes will look me in mine with that beautiful glow, but this isn't good for you, (Y/N). It's time to wake up." he said.

You put your forehead to his. "Please God don't make me." you sobbed.

"I'm sorry." he said. Armin picked you up bridal style and laid you on your bed. He covered you up and then climbed onto the bed with you. You turn to face each other and said nothing. For ten whole minutes, all you did was look at each other, outlining the little things you fell in love with.

Finally, your eyes fell heavy and you drifted into a sleep.

When you open your eyes you snap back to reality. You put your head into your pillow and scream. The scream of the worst pain a lover could feel.

Your cousin Levi and best friend Jean bust through the door "(Y/N)!" Levi yelled as he ran to your side. You leaned forward on your knees as you screamed into the pillow once again. Levi held you and rocked you back and forth. "I know. I know. We miss him too." he said chin resting on your head.'

"Get it all out." Jean said as you remembered the death of the love of your life, how he died in your arms, how his last breath was spent telling you that he loved you with his whole being, how you'll never see the ocean in his eyes and feel the love on his skin.

Armin was dead, and you were broken.

[terinour]

Fairy tale / Conte de fées

Fairy tale

It could have started like a fairy tale. But it wasn't. The street was filthy and the garbage cans were overflowing with filth. And then there was that vile smell of vomit and urine that forced him to cover his nose and mouth. It was the olfactory border of a forgotten street. He quickly passed this pile of garbage and moved into the alley. He could then discover a certain charm to the place with these balconies and these parabolas carrying hope, kinds of flowers of the modern times catching the television waves and the promises of an ephemeral television happiness. Puddles reflected the lights of the beautiful neighborhoods located further up. Everything here seemed to be turned towards the outside, towards an elsewhere. This made him a little sad in the end. It didn't take much to turn hope into reality, simply by turning away from parables and turning inward. But this required a change in his habits.

Dave, on the other hand, was no longer attracted to the lights and gold. From experience he was wary of anything that shone too brightly on the outside. He only wanted peace, but his job, if one can call his strange activity a job, brought him into contact with shadows, the unspeakable and sometimes death. He had finally accepted it, found there his place, a role to play. Ancient texts say that it doesn't matter if life gives us a first or a second role, it is up to us to play well the one we have been assigned. Better a perfectly good supporting role than a bad leading role.

He walked further into the alley, looking for the only clue in his possession, a black cat sign. He finally found it. It creaked at the slightest breeze that rushed in. Small spotlights dimly illuminated what he was looking for: Madigan's, Irish Pub. He pushed open the door and entered a noisy, dark room. The counter radiated a soft light through multiple bottles filled with different colored beverages. The boss acted as an alchemist in this mysterious laboratory that seemed to come straight out of the Middle Ages. Small lamps lit the tables farthest from the counter. He approached and knew he had found the right person. The man was finishing the preparation of a colorful and sparkling cocktail decorated with exotic flowers. A waiter took it away at once.

The boss looked at Dave and stopped short. He understood at once who he was, people could feel it every time. With a nod he pointed to the back room, only separated from where they were by a slight veil. Dave followed the boss and they sat down at a small table. The boss's body was massive but he seemed intimidated. Dave took off his coat and rolled up his right sleeve. He rested his forearm on the wooden table. The boss swallowed and slowly put his hands on it. There was an immediate flash that startled the man. He rested his hands and closed his eyes. A jerk of images interspersed with blacks appeared then a whole sequence. The sounds also seemed so real that both men sometimes turned their heads, as if to better capture them. Eventually the vision faded.

“It's my daughter, I haven't heard from her in months”

“She looks happy”

“When I became a father, her little life took over. It feels like yesterday and now it feels like she has abandoned me”

“Yet it is in the nature of things”

“In fact I think I've forgotten who I was. Do you think she'll come back?”

‘You have to start by finding yourself, so you will never feel alone again’

“Thank you”

Dave stood up

“Won't you stay a little while?”

“I never stay”

“Wait a little while, I'll be back”

Dave put his coat back on and the man was back with his cash-box

“This is the money of the day, it's all I have”

“I don't ask for so much, just give what you want”

Dave stuffed the bills the boss had given him into his pocket and walked away. He had done what he had to do by offering a vision. Now he was returning to the night, becoming a shadow among shadows, his silhouette slowly disappearing around the corner. No one would hear from him again, until one day a new vision would ask to come out. Then he would appear again to deliver his message... just like in a fairy tale.

Teri Nour

Note: I had translated my own text entitled "Conte de fées" below in french. I apologize for this appoximative translation.

Conte de fées

Cela aurait pu débuter comme dans un conte de fées. Mais ce n’était pas le cas. La rue était crasseuse et les poubelles débordaient d’immondices. Et puis il y avait cette odeur ignoble de vomi et d’urine qui l’obligeait à se couvrir le nez et la bouche. C’était la frontière olfactive d’une rue oubliée. Il dépassa rapidement ce tas d’ordures et s’avança dans la ruelle. Il pu alors découvrir un certain charme à l’endroit avec ces balcons et ces paraboles porteuses d’espoir, sortes de fleurs des temps modernes captant les ondes télévisuelles et les promesses d’un bonheur télévisuel éphémère. Des flaques renvoyaient les lumières des beaux quartiers situés plus loin, plus haut. Tout ici semblait tourné vers l’extérieur, vers un ailleurs. Cela le rendait un peu triste en fin de compte. Il suffisait de peu de choses pour changer l’espoir en réalité, simplement en délaissant les paraboles pour se tourner vers l’intérieur. Mais cela exigeait de bouleverser ses habitudes.

Dave, lui, n’avait plus d’attirance pour les lumières et les ors. Par expérience il se méfiait de ce qui brillait trop à l’extérieur. Il ne désirait que la paix mais son métier, si tant est que l’on puisse appeler son étrange activité un métier, l’amenait à côtoyer les ombres, l’indicible et parfois la mort. Il avait fini par l’accepter, y trouva là sa place, un rôle à jouer. De très anciens textes disaient que peu importait au fond que la vie nous donne un premier ou un second rôle, il nous appartenait de bien jouer celui qui nous était assigné. Mieux valait un second rôle parfaitement bien joué qu’un mauvais premier rôle.

Il s’engagea plus loin dans la ruelle, à la recherche du seul indice en sa possession, une enseigne en forme de chat noir. Il trouva finalement. Elle grinçait au moindre courant d’air qui s’engouffrait là. De petits spots éclairaient faiblement ce qu’il cherchait : Chez Madigan, Irish Pub. Il poussa la porte et pénétra dans une salle bruyante et sombre. Le comptoir irradiait une lumière douce qui traversaient de multiples bouteilles elles-mêmes remplies de breuvages aux couleurs différentes. Le patron faisait office d’alchimiste dans ce mystérieux laboratoire semblant sorti tout droit du moyen âge. De petites lampes éclairaient les tables les plus éloignées du comptoir. Il s’approcha et su qu’il avait trouvé la bonne personne. L’homme terminait la préparation d’un cocktail coloré et pétillant orné de fleurs exotiques. Un serveur l’enleva aussitôt.

Le patron observa Dave et s’arrêta net. Il comprit aussitôt qui il était, les gens le sentait à tous les coups. D’un coup de tête il désigna l’arrière salle, seulement séparée de là où ils se trouvaient d’un léger voile. Dave suivit le patron et ils s’installèrent à une petite table. Le corps du patron était massif mais il semblait intimidé. Dave ôta son manteau et remonta sa manche droite. Il posa son avant-bras sur la table de bois. Le patron déglutit et, lentement, vint poser ses mains sur celui-ci. Il y eut aussitôt un flash qui fit sursauter l’homme. Il reposa ses mains et ferma les yeux. Une saccade d’images entrecoupées de noirs apparurent puis toute une séquence. Les sons également paraissaient si réels que les deux hommes tournaient parfois la tête, comme pour mieux les capter. La vision finit par s’évanouir.

– C’est ma fille, elle ne donne plus de nouvelles depuis des mois

– Elle a l’air heureuse

– Quand je suis devenu père, sa petite vie a prit toute la place. J’ai l’impression que c’était hier et maintenant, c’est comme si elle m’avait abandonné

– Pourtant c’est dans la nature des choses

– En fait je crois que j’ai oublié qui j’étais. Vous croyez qu’elle reviendra ?

– Vous devez commencer par vous retrouver, ainsi vous ne vous sentirez plus jamais seul

– Merci

Dave se leva

– Vous ne restez pas un petit peu ?

– Je ne reste jamais

– Attendez un tout petit peu, je reviens

Dave remis son manteau et l’homme était de retour avec sa caisse

– C’est la recette du jour, c’est tout ce que j’ai

– Je n’en demande pas tant, donnez simplement ce que vous voulez

Dave fourra dans sa poche les billets que lui avait remis le patron et s’en alla. Il avait fait ce qu’il avait à faire en offrant une vision. Maintenant il regagnait la nuit, redevant une ombre parmi les ombres, sa silhouette disparaissant lentement au coin de la rue. Plus personne n’entendrait parler de lui, jusqu’au jour où une nouvelle vision demanderait à sortir. Alors il referait son apparition pour délivrer son message… un peu comme dans un conte de fées.

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

So I (finally!) bought a pair of really good noise cancelling headphones, and it has changed my life! It's the fanciest thing I've bought in years, so to recoup some of the cost, I’ve researched & written a little essay based on my experiences with extreme noise sensitivity.

Hypersensitivity to sound is something I’ve dealt with all of my life, but I only recently found out it's medically known a Hyperacusis. (Please note this is a separate condition from Misophonia.) If you consistently struggle to cope with noise, the info below could be helpful! I’m including a link to my ko-fi, and I will be answering questions in the notes.

(skip to the bottom to read fun facts about my tax return and/or street organs vendettas!)

DISCLAIMER: I am not a professional, this is based solely on my experiences as a patient, and on what I have read and been told by professionals. Please notify me if you have corrections or concerns about accuracy!

BACKGROUND: Sensitivity to sound is a common type of sensory issue. While anyone can experience such issues (most people, for example, might be bothered by loud music in a crowded restaurant), some people are more sensitive than others, to the point it becomes a quality-of-life aka a medical issue.

If you consistently struggle with environmental stimuli that other people aren’t bothered by (background noises, bright lights, certain textures and tastes, etc), to the point it causes daily discomfort or limits the environments you can be in, I recommend reading about Sensory Processing Disorder.

SPD and sound sensitivity are both super common in autistic folks (like me!), but allistic (non-autistic) people can experience them too. Weep, ye prisoners of mortal coil, for none are safe, nothing sacred, not in this thy most accursed tomb of human flesh!

Anyway.

SOUND SENSITIVITY or HYPERACUSIS: Noise issues are particularly difficult to navigate in a world that is increasingly...noisy. The relatively new phenomenon of constant overhead music in restaurants, grocery stores, shopping malls etc—all of this means that public spaces are increasingly inaccessible to people with auditory issues.*

As a kid, nothing quite triggered sensory overload/meltdowns for me like the constant exposure to noise I couldn’t control—the background chatter of other kids in the lunchroom, the constant noise in public spaces, being trapped in the car with the radio on.... I had so many fights with my siblings about the car radio, and who got to choose the music.**

But it’s not just loud sounds that are the problem. As an adult who lives alone and works from home***, I’m lucky enough to be able to avoid loud environments most of the time. This does wonders for my general levels of anxiety and discomfort. But even in a mostly controlled environment, I still experience problems. Because part of sound sensitivity is that even normal or quiet sounds can feel loud and intrusive. Here are some “normal” sounds that can cause me discomfort (ranging from annoyance to outright pain, depending on the day):

refrigerator/AC/ceiling lights humming

dishwasher/washing machine noises

ceiling fan making that damn ceiling fan noise

faint sounds of traffic

riding in a car

other people having a normal conversation in the background

someone talking to me in a perfectly normal inside voice

Unfortunately, even in a “controlled” environment, many triggering noises can’t be controlled. And many parts of life can’t be lived in a controlled environment. This presents...some incredibly freaking annoying problems. Luckily there are solutions!

Sorta.

There are sorta some solutions.

They are imperfect, but they help.

TREATMENT: And now I have something rather shame-faced to admit. In all the years of managing my symptoms, it never once occurred to me to see a hearing specialist for my issues with sound. I wasn’t even aware that treatment options exist, because none of my other doctors mentioned it. Instead, I’ve spent years finding my own coping mechanisms and tools, with help from therapists and psychiatrists, but without ever consulting an audiologist/ENT. It was only while researching this post that I found out that was even an option, holy shit.

So it turns out I am going to be making an appointment with my local ENT practice. shit.

Apparently treatment options include sound/acoustic therapy, systematic desensitization/exposure therapy, cognitive behavior therapy, sound machines, and other options that I had no idea even existed, goddammit.

MANAGEMENT: In the meantime, here are my current coping mechanisms. I’ve relied rather heavily on hearing protection, which is very useful when used in moderation. Unfortunately, it can cause its own problems: it’s important not to overuse hearing protection, because in the long-term this can increase your sensitivity. So again: a useful tool, but be careful not to overdo it.

With that in mind, here are some of the coping strategies I’ve used over the last decade to manage my symptoms. This is not a perfect system and you should contact your local ENT clinic for better, long-term solutions, but in the meantime here are some tips I use to just get myself through the damn day:

Regularly spending time in a quiet controlled environment, to allow my nervous system to decompress.

Wearing earplugs, (I use two different grade, depending on the level of noise prevention I need), and always carrying an extra pair in case I need them unexpectedly. I bought a 50 pack for $7 and put spares in all my bags and jacket pockets.

(I mostly use Mack’s Ultra Soft, but there are so many types and materials and brands, including foam, silicone, wax, custom moldable etc. Even if you have trouble wearing things in your ears, you might be able to find something comfortable.)

Similarly: hearing protection earmuffs, the kind used in gun ranges and on construction sites. I bought mine online for $10. they look like normal wireless headphones, so I've never gotten comments when wearing mine in public (other than “cool heaphones” bc i added skull glitter stickers).

Sometimes I wear the earmuffs on top of earplugs, when life is just too damn LOUD.

Listening to music w/ earbuds or headphones is a great way to balance out background noises, especially if you can find soothing playlists that help you concentrate. Also useful to put in just one earbud when you need to pay attention in class/at work.

Pro tip: if your hair is long enough you can wear wireless earbuds without anyone knowing.

White noise, rain noises, ocean noises etc can be helpful! Some people like whale songs although personally this activates my primal fear response

Active noise cancelling headphones: the reason I wrote this post to begin with—I finally bought a pair! As in, a really good pair! As in, a depressingly expensive pair with noise cancelling technology that actually WORKS, holy shit. I probably need to wear them a little less at home (bc overprotection causes problems in the longterm) but they have absolutely transformed my ability to go out in public and i never ever want to take these suckers off again please take a power screwdriver and nail these to my head, bury me in the sweet sweet shroud of silence. holy canoli and cream puffs I want to marry form a civil partnership with these headphones. Plus they have a bunch of features, like being able to control the level of noise cancellation, so I can hold a conversation or be aware of some ambient noise for safety reasons.

Oh, and also they play music I guess?

Sorry sorry I promise this post wasn’t supposed to be me shilling for Big Electronics. I’m just excited, I’m an excited flabby little ball of expired flubber. ANC headphones aren’t a perfect solution, and I still sometimes wear earplugs underneath, and I will always be uncomfortable some of the time, but for me it’s been a big step.

Unfortunately the cost of good quality ANC technology means this isn’t an option for everyone, and the (much cheaper) gunshot protection earmuffs I mentioned earlier still provide an impressive amount of protection and bang-for-your buck (maybe even an equal amount of protection, if you can find ones that fit well). But if noise consistently prevents you from enjoying public space and life in general, and you’ve already tried earmuffs & earplugs and find they don’t offer enough comfort/convenience/protection, and if you’re in a position to save up for a one time non-necessity purchase of $150+, noise cancelling headphones are an option to be aware of. (Please always check the return policy so you can try before you buy. I ended up buying and returning 2 pairs before finding what worked best for me. And please look for a retailer that offers an extended warranty. You want those motherforkers to last).

There are cheaper options available, including some under $50. The ones I tried didn't work as well as my hearing protection earmuffs, but some people report good experiences, so that is something to consider. it's always good to know your options! Passive noise canceling is another affordable alternative.

Medication: A final tool in my toolbox, which for me personally has helped as much as every other method combined. Like, a lot, it’s helped a lot. It turns out some anti-anxiety medications can also help sensory issues. There’s not much research on this, and I only discovered it firsthand when a medication my doctor prescribed for anxiety ended up significantly helping my sensory issues. I no longer need medication for anxiety, but my psychiatrist still prescribes that same medication off-label for my sensory stuff. Ask your psychiatrist to research your options (they will probably have to do some digging to find relevant research, but you deserve to know all your options, even the obscure ones). Fyi, the medication I use is in the benzodiazepines class, but there are other options for those concerned about dependency or side effects.

(I'm also told anti-anxiety supplements may be helpful, though I haven't tried this yet. If you're on prescription meds, always talk to your doctor about contraindications before taking anything over-the-counter.)

So there you have it, my main coping strategies for sound sensitivity! They are not a replacement for medical treatment (except that last one which is in fact...medical treatment), but I find them helpful and I hope some of you will too! I’ve struggled for a long time, and I’m very pleased to have reached the point where I can just do things in public. Eating out in loud restaurants? I can do that now, and even enjoy it, holy shit! I can comfortably travel in cars for hours at a time, and walk around shopping malls and grocery stores with overhead music, and, and —and just exist. It is so so freeing, to feel like maybe, after everything, you are actually allowed to just exist in a world that wasn’t really designed for you.

Again, be careful not to overuse hearing protection—the goal is to allow you to be less uncomfortable and to function better, but if you find you are becoming more sensitive to noise, it is time to dial it back a notch. Or maybe consider listening to music (at a reasonable volume) to block out background noise instead.

*(This also includes people with hearing loss and related issues, btw. While that’s not my area of knowledge, I would welcome it if any of my HoH followers want to share their experiences.)

**A sign of sensory issues that parents often miss is when a child complains about music being too loud—but has no problem listening to their own music at high volume. This is because music that is already familiar to the listener (and that the listener enjoys) is much easier for the brain to process, since it knows what pattern of sounds to expect. Loud music that they get to control can be soothing for people with sound issues, especially when it blocks out background noise and sensations. This is why repetitively playing the same songs can be a helpful form of stimming.

***(working on this blog, actually. since it’s my only source of income, my 2020 income tax return literally lists my occupation as ‘Tumblr Blogger.’ Oddly, my parent didn’t feel this achievement was worth including in the holiday family newsletter.)

bonus fun fact: Charles Babbage aka “father of the computer” may have been autistic and hypersensitive to sound. He definitely had a huge problem with public noise pollution, and spent his later year waging a war on street musicians (and organ grinders in particular).

(bc like, yeah. screw organ grinders.)

Sometimes when I’m out in public and the overhead music is particularly unbearable, I’ll take a moment to look up to the sky and scream out: “HE TRIED TO WARN US! THE FATHER OF COMPUTERS TRIED TO WARN US!!! we should have listened, sweet heaven we should have listened!”

except i don’t scream it, i say it very quietly under my breath

(i have issues with noise)

so yeah that is my short essay. and here is the ko-fi goal

k ciao i gotta go pick out glitter stickers for my headphones

[bbyheedeungie]

Fluttering Machinery | Robot! Sunghoon AU

Genre: Fluff, mild angst

Pairings: Robot! Sunghoon x Reader

Warnings: Character death, little suggestive content

Synopsis: Sunghoon was a humanoid built by your father, with the sole purpose of taking care of you once he passes away. But it seems like taking care of you came with discovering emotions that wasn't necessary for cooking, cleaning, and keeping you safe. What is this warm fuzzy feeling that resonates deep inside Sunghoon's mechanism?

It's been months. 6 dreadful months since your father has passed away. The doctors have warned you that he didn't have much time left, but that didn't make the goodbyes hurt any less.

You were 4 years old when your mom left you and your father for another guy. A more successful guy. Your father was bright, with an insatiable hunger for discovery and invention. But his field of work didn't always bring food to the table. And so on most days you had to, well, compromise.

But you loved your father so much, and still do. Although you didn't grow up to be a scientist like him, you knew the basics on automation and robotics. You were 11 years old when you first saw it, the humanoid that he worked on for years came to life before your own very eyes.

He had no skin nor face that made him look human yet. Just a chunk of metal with a head, arms and legs that moved mechanically. Nevertheless, you will never forget the joy and pride in your fathers' face as he watched his creation. The humanoid was a work in progress and you knew one day he's going to change the world. Unbeknownst to you, he was going to change your world.

And now here you are, years into the present as you stood infront of the humanoid who had his eyes shut. Yep, he's a he now. He is Humanoid SH-1282. Your father made him for the purpose of serving the community, to help people. But when he discovered his illness, he started making alterations to his design. He made SH-1282 to serve as the perfect companion, but only to you.

He filled the humanoid's hard drive with everything that he'll need to help you and take care of you. He input cooking, cleaning, and even martial arts. You sighed, remembering your father's last words.

"I'm gonna leave him in your care now, err leave you in his care or whatever. Take good care of each other okay? I love you both so much."

You were such a crybaby, holding on to your father's arm as the nurses were ushering you to wait outside because the doctors are about to perform surgery.

"You'll be okay." Your father mouthed as he smiled knowingly in content.

You reach for the humanoid's neck to find the power button, finally deciding to activate him after holding it off for months.

You held your breath as his eyes open, immediately scanning his surroundings. His eyes land on you, a smile forms on his lips.

"Hi, I'm SH-1282. It's nice to finally meet you, Y/N." He said naturally, offering his hand. If you didn't know any better, you would think he was a normal boy.

You let out a shaky breath as you accept his hand. He frowns, it seems like he is studying your facial expression and posture.

"You seem like you are in distress. Are you alright?" He asks in concern.

"Yeah, I am." You reply weakly.

"Will a hug improve your mood?" He asks. He was programmed to know about the benefits of physical intimacy, but he was also programmed to know consent and so he will not do anything unless you want to.

You contemplated, biting your lip.

"No, thank you." He simply nods, stepping out of his charging port.

"Will you show me around the house?" He asks and you nod.

"Damn this feels so awkward." You think to yourself.

"So here's the living room." You say as SH-1282 takes a good look around the area, his eyes falling to the dirty coffee table with tons of papers stacked messily. The couch looked greasy, with breadcrumbs stuck to the sides of the couch cushions. He scrunches his nose, involuntarily adding a new emotion to his database: disgust.

And as you led him to the kitchen, this emotion intensifies as he sees the containers of Chinese takeouts and cup ramen littered around the counter. He walks to the fridge and finds it empty except for a carton of milk that you put into your cereal for breakfast.

This awakens another emotion for the humanoid, frustration. He pinches the bridge of his nose as he contemplates on what to do with the mess, aka you.

"This won't do. You have been living unhealthily which may reduce your chances of living a long life."

You scoff, "Excuse me?" He gives you a dead stare, an eyebrow raised.

"No, excuse me while I clean up all this. I'll leave you to your own devices, thank you for showing me around today." He says sassily as he goes to find where you hide your cleaning utensils. You stood there dumbfounded.

"Unbelievable." But you let him be anyway. He wasn't wrong, you've been a total mess this past few months but that was all because of the grief. You basically had no family now.

And so for the rest of the day, you lock yourself in your room and do homework. About 5pm, you hear a soft knock at your door.

"Hello, it's me. Can you spare me a minute? I have something to ask of you." You inwardly groan, not really wanting to face the humanoid.

"Can you accompany me to get groceries? I swear this will only happen one time. It is only because I am not yet accustomed to my location. But after I mentally note the directions, you won't have to come with me next time." He didn't really want to bother you, but he knew that going out by himself and getting lost will be much more bothersome for you.

"Sure thing, just let me change into— oh no, you have no other clothes. It's kinda chilly outside today." You mentally facepalm yourself. Why didn't I go shopping for men clothes first before activating him?

"That is fine, I am immune to any temperature." He says as-a-matter-of-fact. You roll your eyes.

"I know that but people will probably get suspicious to see a man walking around in a shirt and jeans when everybody else has coats on. We need you to fit in as much as possible."

You search for your father's old coat that you refused to throw away even months after he's passed.

"Sorry dad, but he kinda needs this right now." And so you dress the humanoid in your oversized university sweatshirt (which surprisingly fits him perfectly) and your father's old coat.

"How do I look? Will I fit in now?" He asks as he scans his appearance in the mirror.

"You look—" absolutely breathtaking. You had every urge to slap yourself. Your father really didn't play around when he made the humanoid's face. He could pass up as an idol. And the cute little mole on his nose was a good addition to his features that made him even more realistic.

"Great. People won't suspect a thing."

The two of you head out. Contrary to your expectations that he would marvel at everything he sees outside, he just casually looks around. You ride the bus together, and the humanoid processes everything that you do, noting how everything works.

What caught you by surprise though, is how he immediately stands up in instinct to let an old lady sit down in his place. He sure was programmed with manners and chivalry. You smiled at the thought.

You made your way inside the grocery store, only intended to grab a basket but the humanoid insisted on a push cart.

"We have so much to buy, I've taken a mental note of everything we'll need." You simply roll your eyes and let him push the cart around as you wandered behind him. You look around as he reads the nutritional facts of every single thing he sees.

"This is definitely going to take a while." You muttered.

"Y/N? Is that you?" A voice squealed. You hissed and attempted to turn away, pretending you didn't see her. The humanoid saw how you reacted and swiftly rushed to your side in a protective stance. The stranger eyes the humanoid, her eyes sparkling at the sight of such a gorgeous man.

"Why hello there. Y/N you didn't tell me you've been busy with your boyfriend, we haven't hung out in a while." Both of your eyes widened at the misunderstanding.

"Oh, no he's not— we aren't—" You tried to explain but she just laughed out loud.

"Look how flustered you are. You know what, it's okay. But we have a lot of catching up to do!" She said, squishing your cheeks in a playful manner.

"So what's your name, handsome stranger?" She asks, turning to the confused humanoid.

"I'm S—"

"Sunghoon! His name is Sunghoon." You blurted out. Sunghoon was the name of your childhood crush when you were like 7 but that'll have to do. Unfortunately, it seems that the humanoid got even more confused.

"I am Y/N's—"

"Neighbor. He lives next door to my apartment. I was just showing him around because he just recently moved into the city." You say quickly. She can't know that you're living with a guy. Even if said guy wasn't human.

"Awww how sweet of you to go shopping with your neighbor." She said, winking at you. She's definitely not convinced.

"I'm Yeonmi, Y/N's friend." She introduced, offering her hand to Sunghoon. He took her hand reluctantly.

"You mean my super obnoxious friend." You roll your eyes.

"Shut up, you love me." She teased. Admittedly, you've been avoiding her for months now. Ever since your father passed, it was as if you didn't want to deal with anyone anymore, with the fear of being left behind again. So you shut everyone out. You know it was a very selfish move and must've made everyone worry, but you have yet to figure out how to fix things back to how it is.

You said your goodbyes not without a long, tight hug from Yeonmi and Sunghoon noticed from his scanners how your vitals greatly improved from it. This made him feel another new emotion: relief. He was very thankful for your friend who made you feel better.

You continue venturing down the aisle of food, and you find the humanoid smiling to himself. He notices your attention on him and he shakes his head, as if shrugging his thoughts off.

"What?" You asked.

"You gave me a name. Although I'm unsure if it is necessary, thank you." He says genuinely as he smiles at you, your heart skipping a beat.

"You're welcome, Sunghoon." You smiled back.

He picked up lots of fruits and vegetables, with you whining the whole time. Your whines unlocked another emotion of his; annoyance.

"No wonder her father thought she is in need of taking care of, she acts like a child." He concludes, running his fingers through his hair as he lets you get an ice cream of your choice. Oddly, seeing a bright smile on your face as you show him what flavor you got seems to put him at ease.

The two of you got home at dawn, with quickly stacking up the groceries into the cabinets and fridge, with you slumping down on the now squeaky clean couch.

It had been quite a long day and you found yourself dozing off. You woke up from the light tap on your shoulder, eyes fixating on Sunghoon with your apron wrapped around his torso.

"I could get used to this." You thought, admiring how adorable the humanoid looked but quickly pushing the thoughts away.

"Sorry to wake you, it's time for dinner." He announces and you lazily nodded, not before yawning and stretching your arms.

"Uhh, what is this?" You asked, eyeing your plate.

"It's your dinner." He says nonchalantly, expecting you to start eating. Your face shows utter disgust at the plate of vegetables.

"Please don't make me eat that." You begged. Sunghoon rolls his eyes; a trait he adapted from spending just a day with you.

"Don't be dramatic, vegetables are good for you." He states, taking the plate from you and attempting to feed you.

"Come on, say ah." He says playfully. After realizing how much you acted like a child, he researched on how to take care of children and downloaded it into his database. You scrunch your nose, leaning away from the food and shooting him a glare.

"Sunghoon, I'm not a kid." You deadpanned.

"Oh, but you won't get your ice cream if you don't eat this." He says, pouting at you teasingly. He's really good at this. With a sigh, you open wide and allow him to feed you.

"Yep, definitely a kid." He thinks to himself as he smiles in satisfaction, another emotion unlocked.

That night, you decided to move his charging port (with his help) from the lab into the spare room of the apartment.

"You know, I'm completely okay with staying at the lab." He reasoned but you quickly hush him.

"Nope. That is no way to treat a person. You deserve your own room, okay? A room that you can fill with your own stuff and decorate with your own preferences. End of discussion." You sassed as you fix his charging port into place. Sunghoon blinked at you, unable to express how grateful he is of how kind you are to him.

"She wants to treat me like a real human being." He thinks, his mechanical heart overwhelmed with gratitude.

Days went on with a routine, with him cleaning all day and you attending online classes. There were occasional bumps in the road, with you getting annoyed with how much of a neat freak he is and him getting irritated with how lazy you are at taking care of yourself. You've also taught him how to watch tv, deciding not to let him use the internet yet because he might gain too much unnecessary information online.

And so on a saturday night, you sat together on the couch as you watched figure skating competitions. Sunghoon was at complete awe the whole time, studying how the skaters moved through the ice.

"I want to skate too." He states absentmindedly, attention still on the television. You smiled, thinking how it was the first time he actually said he wanted something.

"Then let's do it, let's go skating tomorrow." You say, his head immediately shot to you.

"What, really?" Sunghoon asks in disbelief, his eyes widening.

"Yes, really. Although I'm warning you, I don't know how to skate." You laughed, with him chuckling as well.

"Then we'll learn together." He promises.

What a total lie that is. He didn't need to learn, as you watched him move swiftly against the ice, the wind in his hair as he circled around, his focused eyes twinkling in the fairy lights. He looked ethereal. You could have sworn there were tears there as you cheered him on like a proud momma. Ah, they grew up so fast.

People at the park also stopped to watch Sunghoon, whispering about how talented the young man is. His eyes caught yours, and you weren't sure if you were seeing things but you thought you saw him send you a wink and smile.

"The TV been teaching him things." You muttered, blushing but not from the cold. Sunghoon skates towards you, pulling you with him. You're eyes widened in fear.

"N-no Sunghoon I can't—" but he was already leading you through the ice, eyes never leaving yours.

"You can." He whispers, taking you by the waist as he spun you around. You giddily laughed as you threw your arms out, savouring the chilly air. You didn't even notice the people watching and cooing at you as some joined in as well.

That night, Sunghoon felt something he never felt before, and you in a long time. You felt happy.

"Say aaaah~" Sunghoon said as he fed you chicken soup. You caught a cold from skating yesterday and now you're wrapped in a super cozy blanket with Sunghoon worrying about you.

"You know I can feed myself right?" You said, swallowing the food.

"I know, but I just feel responsible because I was the one who wanted to skate. You got sick because of me, and that kinda defeats my purpose because I'm supposed to be keeping you healthy." He rambled. You roll your eyes at him.

"Colds are normal, okay? Besides, I haven't had that much fun in a while. Thank you for that, Sunghoon." You say, reaching up to tussle his hair playfully. He froze, cogs in his mind unable to process as something inside him stirred, but in a pleasant way.

--

"So you dance while rubbing your body on a stranger?" Sunghoon questions, but he's not sure if he wants to know the answer. Tonight, you wore a simple black dress that teasingly showed a little bit of cleavage and a decent length of fabric that hugged tightly around your upper thighs but had a daringly high slit. Sunghoon approves and disapproves at the same time.

"Yeah, it's kinda like that. But don't worry, I won't be doing that. I'll just stay by the bar the whole time." You reassured as you struggled to put on your strappy heels. Sunghoon kneels down infront of you and helps you clasp the straps around your ankles, handling it very delicately. Your heart thumps as he looks up at you.

"Are you sure you don't want me to accompany you?" He asks for the fifth time as he follows you around the house like a puppy. You sigh, actually considering it. Although it was supposed to be a girl's night according to Yeonmi, you thought maybe having Sunghoon tag along wouldn't do harm.

But it did. It did harm to you, alright. And you wanted to harm those girls who kept on grinding their asses onto Sunghoon as slow, sexy music played. You were fuming, regretting dressing Sunghoon in such fashion that screamed big D energy. Why am I being so possessive? But then again, Sunghoon does look uncomfortable. I should go save him. Yeah, I'll do that.

"Hold my drink." You tell Yeonmi as you made your way to Sunghoon.

"You go girl! Get your man!" Yeonmi cheered drunkly.

Your train of thoughts were blurred by the alcohol as you struggled to walk straight. You had only one clear thought in mind: Sunghoon. I need to get to Sunghoon.

Sunghoon stood uncomfortably, eyeing the girls who rubbed their bossoms and derriere all over him. Is this supposed to be fun? He thinks innocently. He sees you walking towards him, swaying your hips side by side as you strode towards him like a predator.

Girls hovering around him going unnoticed as you were the only one he could see.

Stunning, beautiful. He thought.

"Hey handsome, care to dance?" You asked, pulling him to you before he could even answer. The girls spat at you, telling you to 'get in line' but you just shot them a smug look.

"Sorry ladies." Sunghoon apologized, but his smile told otherwise as he let you pull him away from them.

"You don't know how badly I wanted to get away from—" He froze in his spot as you wrap your arms around his neck, inching closer than ever before. You felt bold, but maybe that was just the alcohol in your system. And as you started moving your body against Sunghoon, you knew it wasn't just you who felt the heat. His large palms go down south, resting on your swaying hips as both of you moved to the sultry rhythm.

His mechanism was going nuts, threatening to malfunction as his sensors detected your very close proximity to him. Whatever you were playing, it was dangerous. But Sunghoon couldn't help but to want more, to desire more.

"Y/N." He whispers, and you look up at him with half lidded eyes. And damn did he find you so sexy right there, under the strobe lights. No girl in the club could ever compare.

"Home?" You suggested.

"Home." He agrees.

As you got in the cab, you immediately find yourself half straddling Sunghoon's lap as you attempt to kiss him. Luckily, Sunghoon can think clearer now and concludes that a drunk Y/N is a very horny Y/N. And though the thought that it was only the alcohol that made you want him made him feel sad, he knew it was wrong to demand such things from you.

And so with your futile attempts to get into his pants, he gently lays your head on his shoulder and hugs you to keep you still. But even that couldn't stop you from squirming to get away from his hold, trying to get some action. He chuckles as he held your hand tightly in his to prevent it from landing into his crotch.

"Now now, you have to stay put. I won't be taking advantage of your state." He scolds gently. And by the time the cab had stopped in front of the building of your apartment, you were fast asleep in Sunghoon's arms.

Times like these were when Sunghoon is glad he was made of aluminum. He scooped you up in his arms like a pillow as he walked up to your apartment. You snuggled up into his chest, looking so innocent as you soaked up his warmth. Sunghoon cooed about how adorable you are, talking to you in your sleep.

He placed you delicately on your bed, contemplating whether to change your clothes or not. He decided not to, noting how your privacy is important to you. You're too drunk and asleep to give him permission right now anyway. He took off your heels and wiped your makeup off very gently, and tucked you in properly.

Long minutes pass as he studies your face, stroking your hair softly as the corners of his mouth lift up unconsciously. He really loves taking care of you. He loves you.

This realization hits him like a truck of overwhelming emotions, but it all makes sense to him now.

"I love you, Y/N." He whispers, leaving a soft kiss on your forehead before retiring to his own room.

[ynderebot]

OFFICIAL POST

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ファイル...FILES.

choi yeonjun. nancy mcdonie. lee gahyeon. kim sunwoo. kim doyeon. choi san. kim sihyeon. yang jeongin.

執着型 [ shuuchaku-gata ] obsessive.

"where were you? who were you with? what were you doing? why didn't you answer my messages? oh come on darling, don't be like that...I've been waiting for hours!"

[ PROFILE 1. ]

choi yeonjun.

5'11. 21 yrs old. September 13th, 1999. virgo. blood type a. born in seoul, south korea

at age 14 yeonjun was sent to a boarding school in japan, this is where he discovered his...tendencies. halfway through his first year he met a girl, kang iseul. he was instantly infatuated with her, he had an impulsive urge to know every little thing about her. to do so he befriended her, using his appearance and charms to win her over and eventually made her his. the euphoric rush that ran through his body when she was officially his was like nothing he'd ever felt before. she was finally his and he didn't intend on letting go, not without a fight at least. he was in for a shock when one day she tried to run away after his true colors started to show. unfortunately her best friend was killed by yeonjun for trying to help her, but she did escape.

he's a switch with no lean. a hard/soft dom or obedient sub all just depends on his mood and how he's feeling

[ PROFILE 2. ]

nancy mcdonie.

5'4. 21 yrs old. april 13th, 2000. aries. blood type o. born in daegu, south korea.

nancy was always a little obsessed with things, she'd go through phases too. she would find one new hobby/thing that intrigued her and hyper fixate on it for a few months. then, just like that it would be forgotten as if it had never happened. it started from a young age too, so when she would tell all her friends and family about the boy she met it came as no surprise to them. soon enough he was all she talked about, all she cared about, it was true obsession. everyone around her thought that it was just a phase like everything else, but they were sadly mistaken. the day he broke up with her, she lashed out. screaming that he couldn't break up with her, no she wouldn't let him break up with her. even after that day she would never stop talking about him, she tried to stay involved with his life as much as she could and even ended up scaring away any potential lovers. she never stopped either, until she had no choice when he moved away.

she's a sub, usually obedient but can be bratty if she's in a mood.

ストーカー型 [ sutookaa-gata ] stalker.

"how did I know? I'm always with you, following you...watching you...it's only because I love you"

[ PROFILE 3. ]

lee gahyeon.

5'3. 22 yrs old. february 3rd, 1999. aquarius. blood type ab. born in seongnam, south korea.

she was so excited when her crush asked her out, she couldn't contain herself. the problem was, it's difficult to get to know someone when you already know everything about them. she'd been stalking him ever since he caught her eye, every single day. she'd follow him to and from school, to his friends house, wherever he went she usually wasn't far behind. he could never find out about that side of her though, so she played along. laughing at childhood stories she heard him tell previously, pretending to be shocked when learning things she already knew. even after they began dating she continued to stalk him, he noticed things were off. she was the one he confided his "paranoia" in and she was the one who reassured him, but little did he know she was the cause of it all.

she's a sub, also obedient but can be bratty if she feels like it.

[ PROFILE 4. ]

kim sunwoo.

5'10. 21 yrs old. april 12th, 2000. aries. blood type b. born in seongnam gyeonggi, south korea.

unlike gahyeon, sunwoo was not always a stalker. he'd heard of stalkers but it never peaked his interest, he didn't even take any note of his slightly possessive tendencies. until his first relationship that is, his first partner showed signs of cheating. he might not have realized his own possessiveness and how it was seemingly growing stronger, but he was no fool. all the coming home late, the scent of another person that was not their own flooding the house when they entered. so he began following them around, at first it was...innocent, or as innocent as stalking could be. they were cheating, this made his possessiveness shoot through the roof. he was most aggressive and warned his partner that they do not want to do that again. they listened, and he continued to stalk them, it turned into a fun...game of sorts.

he's a switch with a sub lean, soft dom/occasionally bratty sub.

独占型 [ dokusen-gata ] monopoly.

"who were you talking to? do they know me? no no, do they know you're mine?"

[ PROFILE 5. ]

kim doyeon.

5'8. 21 yrs old. december 4th, 1999. saggitarius. blood type o. born in wonju-gangwon, south korea

doyeon had always been just about as normal as you could get. until she got a boyfriend, she was possessive of him sure...but it was nothing too extreme. until she started having doubts, all the gorgeous girls that would go up to him, flirting and doing who knows what when she wasn't around. she made it her mission to let everyone know he was hers and she was his, wether it meant glueing herself to him or just reminding everyone at school on the daily. ever since he broke up with her, her tendencies only grow stronger and more extreme with each passing minute.

she's a sub, brat tendencies but will be obedient sometimes

[ PROFILE 6. ]

choi san.

5'9. 21 yrs old. july 10th, 1999. cancer. blood type b. born in namhae-south gyeonsan, south korea.

san's first love was a girl in his sister's class, was she a year older than him? yes, but he didn't care. despite all the people telling him he would never date her, he proved them wrong and he did. everything was perfect, they were both madly in love with each other, spending every minute of every waking day together. until something happened that san hadn't expected, his sister began to steal his girlfriend. well "steal" in his definition at least, she'd wanted to talk with his girlfriend every once in a while before he knew it they were always together and it seemed as if he was the real third wheel, this pissed him off more than anything. he got fed up one day and got into a physical fight with his sister, shouting about how the girl belonged to him and only him. from then on out he's made sure to stay in the middle of every single relationship.

he's a switch with no lean hard/soft dom or obedient/bratty sub, it all depends

排除型 [ haijo-gata ] removal.

"you haven't seen them in a while? I'm sure they're alright darling, after all I'm the only one you need. isn't that right?"

[ PROFILE 7. ]

kim sihyeon.

5'6. 21 yrs old. august 5th, 1999. leo. blood type b. born in bundang-gu, seongnam-si, south korea.

she's a sub, usually bratty but can be obedient too

[ PROFILE 8. ]

yang jeongin.

5'8. 20 yrs old. february 8th, 2001. aquarius. blood type a. born in busan, south korea.

he's a switch with a slight sub lean but can be a soft dom

sihyeon and jeongin's stories go together, they were childhood friends and neighbors. eventually they realized that they had feelings for each other, but this soon after developed into a toxic mindset. the thought that they only need each other, no one else. one by one people from the other's life began to disappear, especially anyone who could be a romantic rival. they were both oblivious to the other's actions until each confronted the other, instead of being upset they were each ecstatic. ecstatic that the other felt the same, that they were the only person they needed in their life

notes/rules

this isn't an accurate representation of any of the members/their companies/groups nor am I claiming to be them!

all of the members are bisexual with no lean

all of the members are yanderes [ obviously ] so they will act as such, however some can be more possessive than others at times

the ones who can be the most possessive are sihyeon and jeongin and the least are yeonjun and nancy

sihyeon and jeongin are obviously not still dating, it was just for backstory/plot purposes

nsfw is an option, if you would like it included please state so when you activate the bot

however please don't make everything nsfw, it gets boring when the plot dwindles

nsfw is 18+ but purely sfw option is available if you aren't comfortable with it or if you're below 18

all the members have hard kinks and their hard no's are scat/feet, if you still aren't sure just ask admin before doing anything

they all use the traffic light system

and please don't try to put them in a different headspace!

to talk with admin use any variation of [ ], { }, ( ), etc

admin is 18 and might get busy occasionally but will try her best during those times

this bot is open for oc's/yn's/ and other bots as well

to activate the bot dm and then admin will ask a few questions/come up with a plot with you and after that the role-play can start up

if you ever wish to deactivate the bot just say so to admin, ex. [ I would like to deactivate the bot now ] and your chat will be deleted

if you decide to reactivate it you'll have to go through the same activation process you did the first time and start over

please respect the members and admin and they will do the same

good luck...好運

sorry this post is so long- 😭

[padfootagain]

The Ocean

Here we go with a new request for my 5k event! Anon asked for a drabble for Caspian with the prompts :

2. "Don't worry, it's just a scratch… OUCH!"

26. "I'm the luckiest though. I have you."

This is a lot of fluff, just cute fluff… I hope you like it :)

Pairing : Caspian x reader

Word Count : 1898

Caspian's love for the sea was not a secret. You were aware of the nickname given to the king. The Seafarer. And that name made by the men under his command, and since adopted by all in the Kingdom, took roots in a true trait of his character. The ocean was just as much his lover as you were, in a way, to the point where you sometimes were a little jealous of the oceanic waves. He sometimes stood on the edge of a cliff, staring at the horizon where two hues of blue met and mingled, without moving a muscle for hours on end. You could read it in his expression every time he was on a boat, by the way his features lit up and his eyes glimmered while the wind batted his hair against his cheeks that he was home. That he was where he belonged, more so than on any throne, more so than in any divine hall of stone, more so even than riding with you through the forests of Narnia as leaves cracked and shivered under your horses' hooves. No, the place that felt like home to him was the ocean.

You couldn't fight his love for the moody waters, and couldn't temper his passion for the salty waves. You had given up on this attempt a long time ago, before you and Caspian even got married. It made him happy, after all. And even if the sea was a treacherous companion, there was little you could do against such a passionate love.

Caspian was well aware of your worry every time he left for the sea, but he always promised he would come back to you, and in his mind there was no doubt that he would. He had never broken a promise made to you - or anyone else, for that matter – and he intended on keeping his word once more.

He hoped that one day you would look at the sea with a friendly eye instead of one of rivalry, but it was difficult for you to share his excitement for the deep waters. It was difficult for you to see anything else in the waves than a force trying to take your husband away.

But you loved him too much, and whenever he was home, you walked down the length of the beach of white sand that ran along the cliffs of Cair Paravel. In the distance, the harbour protected the boats during the low tide, and the purple and golden sails of the Dawn Treader glimmered under the bright sunlight. You remained at a fair distance from the busy port though, seeking with your husband some private time to share, filled with tenderness and breathy giggles, with shy touches of fingertips and stolen glances. You had been married for several years, and yet, you still felt giddy whenever he was around, and his heart still skipped a beat whenever he laid eyes on you. You knew that you were lucky, both of you were well aware that this kind of love was rare, even more so for people of power like the two of you. There must have been someone looking after both of you with magical powers in their hands to guide the two of you on the same path. Caspian always said that Aslan himself must have made sure you found each other, and you had to agree.

You were walking down the beach over the edge of the water, your ankles kissed with the salty water slowly crawling up the sand, the tide rising once more to claim back what was its own kingdom, untamed and wild. Caspian was carrying your shoes and his, his other hand tenderly holding yours. It was warm on this summer afternoon, and Caspian had left his coat in Cair Paravel, choosing to leave for a walk with only a white shirt with large sleeves puffing around his muscles and letting the fabric open upon the upper part of his chest. The medallion you had offered him as a protective token the first time he went off to sea after your marriage was still hanging around his neck, the golden circle moving across his chest with each step he took. His long dark hair was messed with the wind, the light getting caught in his long eyelashes and the beard covering his cheeks. His eyes, so dark, showed a little bit of brown under the bright sunlight instead of their inky usual shade. He looked soft, domestic, so different from the kingly demeanour he had to wear in the castle. Instead, he was just your husband, and you couldn't refrain an enamoured smile to grace your lips at the sight.

The bottom of your dress was drenched with salty water and clung to your calves, but you didn't care. Caspian's brown trousers were wet too, patches of darker shades of fabric marking where the waves had climbed up his legs. You knew several dignitaries who would have been shocked by the King and Queen of Narnia behaving so mundanely, but none of you minded, as you simply enjoyed each other's company. When the two of you were alone, it was so easy to just be yourselves.

You reached a patch of golden rocks emerging from the water where seagulls rested after their long flights. Thanks to the low tide, the beach reached the rocks carved into sharp shapes by thousands of years being beaten by the waves. Caspian's eyes lit up at the sight.

"Would you mind a bit of adventure, my love?" he asked, a mischievous smile brightening his handsome features.

"What do you have in mind?" you asked back, yours eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"Follow me."

You could have tried to fight back and pull him back towards you instead of following him as he hurried towards the rocks, but there was no need to delay the obvious. You would end up yielding anyway.

You let him guide you to the rocks, and you climbed on top, Caspian helping you up and giggling every time he had to catch you as you lost your balance. You spent some time staring at the seaweeds that covered the rock, and the tiny pools carved in that hid tiny crabs that ran away when you came too close. You looked for seashells on the edge of the water, and laughed as Caspian came too close to the edge and was drenched by a particularly strong wave, his shirt now clinging to his body, the fabric turning from white to see-through. His hair dried quickly under the warm sun though, tangling in the wind.

He chased you around with seaweeds in his hands, trying to put them on your head, and you laughed so hard you could barely breathe.

It was a perfect afternoon, really, and for a moment, you weren't so angry and jealous of the sea. Caspian had a gift to make you forget about everything else in the world but your love for him. Until your husband, in a clumsy step, slipped onto some seaweed and fell head first across the rock.

You heard him letting out a loud grunt as he hit the ground, and you hurried back to him, crossing the few steps that separated the two of you, all traces of laughter now gone from your features.

"Darling! Are you okay?" you asked with worry oozing from your every words.

"Yes," he nodded, sitting up. "I'm fine, just…"

You kneeled by his side, noticing that he was holding his forehead.

"Let me see," you ordered, and Caspian didn't even think about arguing.

As you pulled his fingers away, a gush of blood ran down the side of his face. But you quickly saw that it was nothing serious. You cut a piece of your dress to press the fabric against his forehead, but Caspian rolled his eyes, trying to wipe the blood away with the back of his hand.

"Don't worry, it's just a scratch… OUCH!" he jumped as you forcefully pressed the clothe against his cut.

"Don't start arguing with me. You hit your head pretty hard."

"It is really nothing to worry about, my darling. Just a little cut. I have seen much worse."

"Don't remind me!" you scolded him.

He rolled his eyes with a cheeky smile.

"You are adorable when you get worried about me. I like it."

"If you want me to take care of you, dearest, I would advise you to watch your words!"

"It is nothing, love."

"We should go back to the castle, clean your cut properly," you ignored him.

"Not yet," he complained. "We still haven't seen the sunset!"

"Caspian, you're hurt…"

But he took your wrist in his hand, pulling your hand away from his forehead, before guiding it to his lips to drop a tender kiss to your pulse on the inside of your wrist. His wound had stopped bleeding already, and now that you could properly see the damage, you had to admit it was nothing serious, a little scratch that would be gone in a week or so.

"I am fine. It's nothing. Let's stay a little longer, please," he asked with begging eyes you knew you would be unable to refuse anything to. "You promised we would watch the sunset together tonight. So, let's stay. Please, stay."

He pulled you closer and closer until he could kiss your lips, making you forget everything about the world around you, goosebumps running up your arms and making your knees shake under you.

"Please, stay," he asked one more time, knowing he had won already, knowing that after such a kiss, he would have broken your will for anything else but your desire to stay in his arms like this.

You heaved a sigh, resting your forehead in the crook of his neck and running your fingers through his messy hair.

"You're lucky you have good arguments in your favour," you yielded, making both of you laugh.

He hummed in agreement, tightening his hold on you and pressing you to his chest as you sat down and got comfortable in his arms.

"I am the luckiest though. I have you," he added, looking down at you before dropping a chaste kiss into your hair, making you smile and close your eyes, relishing in his wooded scent and the steady beating of his heart under your palm.

Caspian's eyes moved back to the sea, resting once more onto the untameable waves, and the infinite possibilities that laid over the horizon. Lands to discover, and monsters hidden, and so many people waiting on the other side. So many mysteries to uncover.

Caspian was well aware people sometimes called him Seafarer. Sometimes, his own men claimed that the ocean was his true home, that he belonged there, on the sea. That instead of a castle, he belonged on a boat. Caspian never paid too much attention to these words, and he never bothered correcting all those that thought the sea was his real and true love, the place he felt truly himself, that the ocean was his home.

Because he knew where his home was. He held it in his arms now.

You were his home. And no matter where the sea would try to take him, he would always come back to you in the end.

[celestialevie]

Flower Boy // George Weasley x GN! Reader

Summary: AU where y/n is working at the tattoo shop, while their best friend is an owner of a flower shop. What happenes when expecting to see your best friend for lunch, you end up meeting a tall ginger man. Warnings: fluff, mention of food, tattoos, flowers, George being absolute charmer Word count: 1.7k a/n: enjoy this aboslute fluff of a fic!! and again, english is not my first language so if there are any mistakes please do not hestitate to let me know about it!! ' Evangeline ' is an oc of mine, so she might appear in some of my fics as a side charachter. Also credit to @bwbatta for the dividers!!

Being a tattoo artist was one of the things you were proudest of. It wasn't easy to become one after neglecting art for so many years during High School. But after your best friend opened her own flower shop, she helped you get your inspiration for art being constantly surrounded by flowers and stories of why people were getting flowers. You were happy with everything but not knowing that wasn't the end of your happiness. It all started when you were on your lunch break and decided to swing by your best friend's flower shop to visit her. Expecting to see a small blonde girl behind the counter, you were shocked to see a tall ginger man standing there instead. '' Hello, how can I help you today? '' When ginger looked up, he felt as if someone kicked all of the air from his lungs because before him stood a beautiful person with y/h/c hair and y/e/c eyes. Smiling at them as they approached the counter, they were even more beautiful up close. '' Hi, um I'm looking for Evangeline? I didn't know she hired someone new. '' Ginger laughed, nodding his head. '' Ah yes, I'm only here temporarily. Unfortunately, you just missed her, she left to go on a lunch break with my uglier twin. '' You only laughed at that. '' Too bad, but can you please let her know that y/n looked for her? '' He nodded. '' I'll let her know. I'm George by the way. If you ever wanna ask her for me. '' George wiggled his eyebrows, making you shook your head. '' It was nice meeting you, but I have to go now. Please don't break any of her flowers she's not afraid to commit murder if you break something in her shop. '' his eyes widen, making you laugh as you were leaving but his voice stopped you. '' Hey! You come here often? '' he asks '' Considering I use to work here and my best friend owns it, yes. '' and with that, you left the shop, heading back to your workplace.

As the clock turned changed time to 8 pm, you relaxed finally going home after a stressful day. Just as you were open the door, Evangeline barged in. '' Hello, heard you've been looking for me. '' She grinned at her best friend, attacking them with a hug. '' Hello to you too,'' you said returning the hug '' I see the tall ginger you failed to mention to me kept his word. '' smirk appearing in the corner of your mouth as you recall your encounter with him from earlier today. '' It seemed to me you left a trance on Georgie boy. '' Evangeline wiggled her eyebrows, making you laugh '' You can't do that to me, I wanted to have lunch with my best friend only to find she ditched me for and I quote the ginger man '' uglier twin '', leaving me to get almost a heart attack. For a second I thought I walked into a wrong shop. '' Both of you walked out of the shop, heading towards your apartment. '' Speaking of that date, you also failed to mention you were dating someone, and here I thought we tell each other everything, tsk tsk. I'm disappointed. '' you nudged her, blush creeping on her cheeks. '' Oh my god are you blushing? He's making you blush just by thinking of him? You need to tell me about him. '' and so she did. She told you how his name is Fred and along with his twin, he has 6 siblings, making both of them the middle children. It was very interesting to know about a man who took an interest in my best friend. Deciding she'll spend the night at yours, you both got cosy into pyjamas and watched movies until you both crashed. The next morning you went together to work, letting you know she'll come to your work for the lunch break. So when your lunch break came, you didn't expect her to walk in with the same ginger man from yesterday. '' y/n/n, I brought us a bodyguard to keep us safe during our lunch break. '' grin played on her lips, making you shake your head. '' Yeah because we're so in danger that someone is gonna try and kill us while eating Taco Bell. '' George snorted, making you look at him. He looked even cuter than yesterday if that's even possible. Maybe there was something in gingers that you'd yet to discover that makes them so attractive. '' So flower boy, what do you do when you're not being a bodyguard or taking care of Evie's flower shop. '' he was grinning at the nickname. '' I own a joke shop with my brother, but we're currently redecorating inside so we had to close it for a week or two. '' An attractive businessman, that's a first one you snorted to yourself. Spending an hour with two of them, turned into a mostly back and forth conversation between George and you. Soon Evie had to leave, her lunch break coming to an end. To your surprise, George asked you if he could stay for a bit longer, which you said yes to since you had no client for another hour. He asked you about your art style, which, according to George made your eyes sparkle up with happiness, making him chuckle when you started to ramble not even noticing. '' You're rambling. '' he chuckled making you blush a little. '' Sorry, sometimes I can get carried away without even noticing. '' George smiled, taking your hand in his, making you look at him. '' Don't apologise, it's adorable. '' blushing even harder, you looked at the clock making you realise that in 15 minutes your client should be coming. '' Oh shit I didn't even realise how much time has passed already, I have to prepare for the next client. But hey if you ever want a tattoo you know where to come. '' You said and with that, you disappeared somewhere behind in the storage, kind of hiding from flower boy, because he's starting to make you feel things you haven't felt before.

Everything was happening so fast, in the next few days he kept coming either alone or in a company of Evangeline. She knew what she was doing and she was enjoying it. You even got to meet Fred, him wanting to meet the fascinating best friend of his girlfriend and the person who his brother can't seem to stop talking about. So when George asked you out, you said yes having nothing to lose. Deciding on a picnic, both of you packed some food, and he picked you up after work, leading you to a park. He prepared a blanket and put down the baskets where food and drinks were, sitting down and relaxing. '' How was your day? '' you began the conversation. '' It was good, mostly spent the entire day thinking of what to bring for our date tonight. '' a smile appeared on his face. '' How was yours? Any interesting tattoos you did? '' so you told him about this older guy who had half of his back tattooed with some weird game character, which made him laugh. Looking up at the sky, it looked amazing. '' Isn't the view beautiful? '' a grin played on your lips as you looked at the stars. George was only looking at you, and how beautiful you looked under the stars. If he wasn't already falling, he definitely would've now. '' Yeah, it couldn't be more beautiful. '' you looked at him and he was looking at you. '' Stop looking at me like that! '' He grinned at you, placing a hand on your cheek. '' Like what? '' he said softly while looking you in the eyes. '' L-like I've placed all the stars in the sky as if I'm the most unique thing on this planet. '' you were avoiding his eyes, knowing you wouldn't be able to breathe if you do. George had other plans, because he softly placed finger under your chin, making you look up at him. His eyes were filled with so much adoration, making you get lost in them. '' I've been looking at you like that ever since we first met, darling. I've grown quite fond of you from the first time our eyes met. '' a smile was spread on both of your lips '' God how much I love seeing you smile. I like you so much, love. '' placing your hands on both of his cheeks '' Can I tell you something? '' you said quietly almost a whisper. '' You can tell me anything. '' ''I like you too flower boy. '' even bigger smile was on his lips. '' Could you say it again? '' you furrowed your eyebrows. '' Were you not listening? '' he shook his head. ' No, I was, I just like the sound of your voice. '' you shook your head at his goofiness. '' Can you kiss me? '' a grin appeared on his lips '' Thought you'd never ask. '' and with that, he placed his soft lips on top of yours, lips mending with each other. It was like fireworks exploded inside you, from how much happiness you felt in this moment. Everything was perfect.

The next day you decided to visit Evangeline in the shop, expecting to see I guy you've grown s much fond of. And there he was stood with Fred and Evangeline, his beautiful smile playing on his lips. '' Hello, hope I'm not interrupting a big secret meeting. '' you joked as you approached them. George pulled you in his embrace, placing a small kiss on your temple as he sneaked an arm around your shoulder. '' Of course not love. '' you smiled at him, starting a conversation with him, not noticing how Fred and Evangeline were looking at the two of you. '' I haven't seen her smile like that in ages. '' Evie said, '' Hey flower boy, '' Fred began only to be shot by a dirty look by you. '' Hey, only I can call him that,'' you said and with that making everyone laugh including yourself. This is the happiest you've been in forever, and you could only hope it could stay like this forever.

[givemethatgold]

Fix’er Upper Pt. 5

Pairing: Frankie Morales x F!Reader

Warnings: Mentions of past abusive relationship, swearing, past drug use, alcohol

Word Count: 1.8k

Notes:

Parts ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR

Your injury, and consequential recovery time, couldn’t have come at a better time. The harvest was done and the apples had to rest before being pressed, which meant Frankie was now free to start working on your home. The work didn’t often require more than two hands so the days found you doing menial tasks being his gopher.

“You know,” Frankie had had to explain to you, “Go’fer this, go’fer that.”

This mainly consisted of you passing him tools while he was swearing under his breath in the attic, or groaning after rapping his knuckles under the sink, or white-faced and clinging to the weathervane on the roof. 

You had discovered Frankie’s sweet tooth on the first day of renovations, not noticing until after he’d left for the day that more than half the cookies you’d baked that morning were already gone. Making sure he was kept happy, you had a new treat ready for when he walked in the door. 

He was a coffee drinker though, and while you owned a coffee press you had never actually used it yourself, preferring tea leaves for your dose of caffeine. You’d tried, the first morning, to make a cup for him. You even googled How to Make a Cup of Coffee? to make sure you didn’t fuck it up. 

You could laugh about it now, but the look on Frankie’s face after he’d taken his first sip made you worry you had poisoned him. He had spat the black sludge out and handed you back the mug with a look of bewildered disgust. Apparently, you needed to grind the beans first, who knew?

An efficient, if not quite comfortable, rhythm had been forged between the two of you over the past week and a half. Frankie would arrive at nine in the morning, scarf down half a dozen treats while discussing the day’s projects. You would run to town in his truck (yours was still at the autobody shop awaiting parts) and buy any supplies that would be needed while he set up the worksites and organized the tools that would be required.

You had added popping into the local café for a large coffee for Frankie and a red rooibos latte with almond milk for yourself. The first couple of days you had bought him a brownie too but stopped after he’d only half-finished the first one and mumbled through the crumbs in his mouth that yours were better. It only took you three days before the owner had your order ready for you before you even walked in the door, five days before you noticed the sidelong glances the little old ladies were giving each other as you walked out.

Small towns, you thought to yourself, rolling your eyes, had the unique benefit and downfall of everyone knowing everyone else’s business. They’d quit with the hardly-concealed smirks if they knew how awkward working with Frankie was becoming.

You had been sure, in the immediate aftermath of waking up in Frankie’s arms while his truck sat in your driveway, that he was never going to speak to you again. The two of you and hopped out and began explaining away whatever conclusions Jacquie and Mark had made. Then Frankie, without even looking in your general direction, told Jacquie to get you inside and have your wrist looked at. 

To his credit, he had taken care of everything regarding your truck for you. The tow truck came and hauled it to the yard, Frankie had commandeered the inspection report and, after calling them out on trying to swindle you into buying unnecessary parts, had ordered what was needed and paid. 

You had, naturally, argued against this but you both knew you weren’t in a position to afford it. Frankie shut down your arguments gracefully, and broke his apparent vow of silence, with a gruff “I’m just doing it so I can drive my damn truck without you changing the radio station.” The absolute charmer.

It was your damn house, though, so you decided you'd talk as much as you wanted and it would be up to him to interact. Either that or you had music blaring from the radio, never playing his favourite country station purely out of spite. 

Never quite sure if he was listening or not, you rambled on about anything and everything. You explained your vision for the house and the plans you had for a greenhouse in the yard. Memories from your childhood were described in great detail, as were embarrassing stories from your year in college. Baking tips, waxing poetic about your love for sunflowers, interesting animal facts, you'd even downloaded a Word of the Day App and made a game of fitting the words into your daily uninterrupted monologues.

It took three days for Frankie to break.

You had been reminiscing about your trip to Disneyland as a child when he abruptly cut in, voice muffled due to the nails being held between his lips.

"You never talk about it."

You assumed he was referring to the little all-day nap you’d shared in his truck, as it had yet to be spoken of, but were taken aback by the slight accusatory tone.

"Talk about what?"

He took so long to reply, you started to think that he had interrupted purely to shut you up. The silence demanded an explanation though, so you kept your mouth shut and waited.

Clambering down from the attic, where he had been strengthening the trusses throughout the sagging section of roof, Frankie pinned you with his gaze and softly repeated himself.

"You never talk about it. The time in your life when you were married." He must have seen your hackles rise because he quickly set down the hammer and held his hands up in a placating wave.

"You still haven't answered my question about being in the army," was your quick response, finished with an ever-so-mature, "so there."

With a resigned sigh, Frankie twisted his hat around backward and scrubbed his hands across his face. "Come on" -waving you towards the patio doors- "these kinds of conversations require fresh air and a drink."

Reluctantly you followed him outside but rather than sinking down onto the porch swing you opted to lean against the post facing it. Opening two ciders, which you now had free access to, you handed one to Frankie and watched him over the top of the bottle.

Half of your drink was gone and your mind had wandered to greenhouse and flower garden placement before Frankie spoke again. His voice low and quiet catching you by surprise.

"Yeah," he broke the silence with another ragged sigh, "I, uh, I served. Started in the Air Force, worked my way up to Special Tactics Squadron. Made enough noise there to get recruited to Delta Force."

"Oh, fuck," your exclamation was soft with shock "you've seen some shit then." Blast your runaway mouth and its inability to wait for your brain to catch up before blurting out your inner thoughts. "I'm sorry!-"

"No, it's okay" Frankie interrupted, trying to reassure you and remove the horrified look that had come across your face. 

"No, no, that was totally uncalled for. Brad, my um, my husband, he was a Marine. He hated talking about it, said no one liked talking about it. I should have known."

"It's not that," Frankie reassured you again, "You were the first person to ever ask me about it, in all the time I've lived here. Just took me by surprise."

Leaning over in the swing, Frankie pulled out his wallet from his back pocket and handed you a photo from inside it. Five men beamed up at you. You could recognize them from a few of the photos that had rested on Frankie's mantle, they looked older in this one.

"Tell me about them?" you asked, knowing that most of the request was due to curiosity but a small part of you hoped that if you kept him talking you could avoid the subject of your marriage.

The sun was beginning to set and you'd long moved inside to eat dinner by the time Frankie was done sharing. It must have been cathartic, you mused, for him to bare this much about himself. He had never looked more relaxed in all the time you'd known him, which wasn't saying much and it could just as easily been due to the amount of alcohol thrumming through his system.

The room fell into a companionable silence, each of you digesting the information that had been revealed. You were in awe of the fact that, despite the life of violence he had witnessed, Frankie still maintained his humanity. Even after a messy divorce and lost custody battle, Frankie continued to choose the path of healing. He was clean, was fighting for shared custody of his daughter again, running his own business, and still had found time to endear himself into the town's hearts.

Frankie was, for all his sharp edges and gruff words, a sweetheart.

It put into stark comparison how Brad had reacted to the lemons life had served him. Born into an upper-middle-class home, the only son, doted on by his parents, Brad had been raised into a life where every door was open to him. Despite this, or maybe because of it, he had grown hateful of those weaker than him. He was controlling but had just the right amount of charm to pass it off as caring.

"I've met men like that," 

You nearly jumped out of your skin from surprise. Looking at Frankie with wide-eyed shock you wondered again what the hell was in the cider. This was the second time you'd poured your heart out to a virtual stranger, but this time you hadn't even realized you'd started speaking your thoughts aloud. 

Squaring your shoulders and holding Frankie's gaze you continued, almost challenging him to find someone worse than Brad had been.

"He made me quit college because he said he wanted to start a family. Then berated me and acted like it was all my fault every time the pregnancy test came back negative. You know what that asshole did?" Tears were threatening to fall but you held on to Frankie's gaze, "He had gotten a vasectomy months earlier. I didn't find out about it until after he died; going through paperwork that had been stored in his desk."

Frankie was up on his feet now, pacing around the kitchen island, too distraught to keep still. How could anyone be so cruel? Let alone be so cruel to someone as sweet and pure as you. He hated seeing you cry but knowing you weren't receptive to people being in your personal space, wasn't sure how to comfort you. 

Acting on pure instinct he grabbed the kettle and started preparing you some tea, not allowing himself to ruminate how he knew which flavour you preferred. Setting your favourite pottery mug in front of you, along with the little honey pot, he also decided to grab the fluffy throw blanket off your couch. 

"I get it now," he thought to himself offhandedly, "why women have so many fuckin' blankets and pillows in every room."

Placing the throw around your shoulders he was preparing to say goodnight and let you have some peace but was stilled by your hand reaching up and covering his.

"Please. Stay."

Part SIX

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