#haven’t read on thing by you that I didn’t like

[crybabybat]

This got some really fucking annoying reblogs while I wasn’t watching it so:

“Nobody should be allowed to make irreversible health decisions while in distress (suicidal) or under the age of 25, PERIOD”

1. You didn’t read the post. You literally didn’t take a single thing in.

2. I started testosterone at 16 years old. I would have killed myself otherwise. If that sounds like proof that I shouldn’t have been allowed to start T to you, all that tells me is that you have never felt compassion for a trans person and you haven’t thought about dysphoria for more than 5 minutes.

3. Nobody bats a fucking eye when cis people make irreversible decisions under 25! Cis people are going on HRT and getting gender affirming surgeries fucking constantly!! Intersex kids are getting forced to take hormones literally every day to “correct” traits their bodies naturally produce!! You literally only give a shit when it’s trans people accessing joy!

4. Shut up. Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up

“Do therapy about it first, at very least”

I saw multiple therapists! I was in therapy pretty much constantly ages 14-18. I was legally required to see a special gender therapist for a certain amount of time before she would refer me to a doctor I had to see three times at least before he’d let my parents sign the papers to allow me to start taking testosterone.

“Okay but you can become infertile and that’s a huge and major and devastating side effect that no one could possibly want. This is a trump card”

1. Literally every single doctor prescribing hormones will tell you this first and offer solutions to preserve your eggs/sperm.

2. This might shock you. But many people will be or become infertile for reasons including, but not limited to, the ways their bodies naturally produce hormones. This does not need to be fixed unless the individual wishes for it to be, and is not inherently a defect.

3. HRT actually does a terrible job at making you infertile. Like it cannot be used as birth control because even after SEVERAL years of being on hormones, the vast majority of trans people can still reproduce if they haven’t had other procedures that affect their ability to.

4. Treating people like their ability to reproduce and give birth is more important than their happiness and right to change their bodies how they wish, is fucking insane. You sound so fucking stupid.

I said I think people should be able to access hrt more freely and generally feel more inspired to try it out for a few months if it sounds like something they might benefit from. I think everybody has the right to informed consent and autonomy, including children. 3 months of HRT is not going to make anybody infertile, it probably isn’t even long enough for your voice to drop if it’s T, and it certainly isn’t long enough for breasts to grow on E. I ALSO didn’t say that doctors should stop discussing potential side effects, such as infertility, with patients, to the same degree that they’d discuss them with any other medication. I just think it’s actually fucking fine if people want to try it out! If it works that’s awesome, if it doesn’t work you can stop! Fuck!!!

I will never understand how cis people widely continue to see HRT as a huge decision that needs years of consideration and should only be used as a last resort for minors if they’re on the edge of suicide, and other things of this nature.

Like your body already has those hormones. It’s already doing that. It’s okay. They’re just hormones, you can play around and see what you like, what feels right. It’s literally fine. Changes to our bodies and voices and genitals and things are already an inherent part of being human.

It’s the weight that’s put on the decision to go on HRT that manufactures the major concerns of regret. If you decide it’s not for you and you’re upset because your body has been altered in a way that doesn’t feel good to you, that’s the same as getting a tattoo you don’t love, or breaking a bone, or being injured in some other way, or aging, or even getting a bad haircut. It is not automatically more horrific because it has to do with the perceived presentation of your gender. Hope this helps 👍🏼

[nmakii]

must be love

— you find sae’s phone opened, and you decide to snoop.

or; sae gets exposed for being a fake idgafer. this is too sappy. 2.7k words, this is my longest fic in my whole life… what life feels like as a girl who loves too much core

tags: @narcjsistx

— for rhi. love ya, partner.

‘she seems really eager to please,

but she has quite the backbone.’

you huff out in frustration. “ah!! ugh…” you scowl. sae raises his eyebrow. “my groupmate never started on her share of the work… ugh, now i have to cram it..!” you explain your sudden outburst. sae scoffs. “then tell your teacher or something. it’s not like i can do anything about it, im not your teacher.” he, quite obviously, points out. “wh… ugh, i’m gonna… i just— needed to let out my anger.” you groan, face planting and screaming into your textbook. and he hums in response. although he didn’t show it on his face, your outburst was quite out of character for the person he had grown to know. it was… weird, to say the least. and it had caused him to make a mental note not to anger you.

‘her generosity knows no bounds.’

“sae, this is for you. merry christmas!” you hand him a wrapped box. “hm..? i don’t take christmas gifts.” he bluntly states. “i haven’t gotten any gifts since i was 10 years old.” you scoff to yourself. “maybe that’s why you’ve always got that stick in your ass.” you tease. “excuse me?” he glares daggers at you. “aaaanyway! open it!” you shove the box into his hands. he looks at the box, and then at you, and he decides to open it. “new cleats.” he acknowledges. yes, mhm. these were indeed cleats..! “i didn’t need these, i was going to buy them myself.” he states.

“i know, you could probably buy them yourself. but, i thought i’d save you the hassle, y’know?” how thoughtful of you. he eyes the cleats up and down; it’s an expensive brand, but it’s worth the price for the quality. “…thanks.” he says, at last. he didn’t expect a gift from you, he doesn’t have one prepared for you. he’ll make sure to buy you something you’ll love later. “oh! hold on, i wanted to give you some other things ♪~” you fish a keychain and envelope out of your bag and hand it to him.

“…cinnamoroll..?” he questions. “it’s cute right? i thought you’d like it.” what an odd way of thinking… never once has he mentioned anything about cinnamoroll. but then again, it is pretty cute. “…well, i won’t say i hate it. thank you.” he thanks you as he eyes the envelope. “ah, don’t read it in front of me..! i got a bit sappy, it’s pretty. embarrassing…” you awkwardly laugh. “ah, got it.”

later that day, he opened the envelope. there was a letter; it had cute doodles all over. and, he’d be lying if he said that he didn’t feel your affection radiating off the letter. it was… really sweet.

‘what a beautiful human being she is.’

itoshi sae is what you like to call a shy lover, if you were to put it kindly.

you know for a fact that he loves you, he just isn’t good at verbally expressing it. words of affection are too sappy for him. he prefers to show it through the thoughtfulness of his gifts, and the longing touches of his hands, which seem to never leave your’s.

you know he loves you. but, you can’t help but wish for him to say it more often.

it wasn’t many nights lately that the two of you would have a date night. with sae’s rigorous training schedule and endless interviews, the only thing he wants to do at night is to fall asleep beside you.

however, today was the end of the season. meaning, sae would have much more free-time for you.

with sae’s last game for the year completed in 0-4, the first thing he had to do was call you. even though you weren’t far away at all, sitting in the VIP lounge with the relatives and girlfriends of sae’s teammates.

“s/o?” he calls your attention. “mhm? congratulations on your win, babe! i knew you’d win.” you congratulate him. “they could barely keep the ball when they had it. is it really an achievement for me to have won this match?” he says, almost sassily. “pssh— alright. i get it, mr. ‘tepid.’.” you tease.

“don’t call me that.” he huffs. “stay where you are. i’ll go to you.” he commands. you hum in acknowledgment, and he hangs up.

he doesn’t keep you waiting too long before showing up. “there you are…” he sighs in relief, kissing you as his hands automatically find themselves on your body— one tangled in your hair, and the other resting on the curve of your spine.

once he finds the will in himself to finally pull away, he’s breathless.

he looks like he wants to say something, but he holds himself back, his fingers flowing through your hair. “…get ready for our date later tonight, yeah? formal wear.”

you nod, and his lips curl upward. “i’ll see you later.”

you decided to go all out, pull all the brakes. and when sae picks you up in his car, he can’t help thinking that you look like a dream. ‘are you sure you aren’t a model?’ he muses to himself. his heart twists, and the fat of his cheeks redden with affection. your hair flows like silk, and that glimmer in your eyes was once a star, handpicked from the skies, he’s sure of it.

everything about you encourages him to keep staring, but he manages to get ahold of himself. “…you…look beautiful.” is the only thing he can get himself to say. but, beautiful doesn’t seem to encapsulate it, not at all. it’s not even close. beautiful is only a fraction of what he thinks. “heh, you think so?” you ask. “yeah; beautiful.” he assures. “let’s go.” he says, barely turning his attention away from you as he turns to the road.

the drive to the restaurant is quiet, but sae’s mind is screaming at him. his eyes can’t stop moving back to take sneaky glances of you. he drinks up your beauty like a serpent, and he still hasn’t had his fill.

“…we’re here.” he pulls the shift into its’ brake. he gets out, and hands his keys to the valet boy— his words are inaudible through the car door, but he quickly finishes his conversation and moves to open your car door.

you take your first step out, and his hand immediately moves to help you out. god, you might be even prettier under the gleam of moonlight, shining like the pearl of the planet.

his arm moves and snakes around your waist, guiding you into the restaurant under the flash of paparazzi cameras. he grimaces at the loud, pitchy voices of news interviewers, begging for a comment; anything for a headline quote.

the gentle touch of his fingers tighten, as he silently encourages you to walk faster, and lose the crowd. the two of you hurry up, and dash into the restaurant, where you’re greeted with a dim candlelight, mahogany walls, and the rhythmic trumpet of jazz.

“welcome, mr. itoshi.” the receptionist greets. “your table for two is right this way.” she quickly guides the two of you into a secluded part of the restaurant, just like he’s always done as to make sure neither of you are spotted and harassed in public.

lamps hang on the walls, creating a romantic atmosphere. and the curved dark-brown leather booth couch perfectly complements the dark oak roundtable.

the date isn’t too different from the others. the two of you chat about anything that comes to mind. but, it’s actually more like it’s just you chattering on, and sae listening as he admires that excited grin on your face.

on the outside looking in, it’s obvious how he has heart eyes when he stares at you. he’s in a trance as he listens to the rich honeying sweetness of your voice; his finger traces the lines on the roundtable, wishing that it’d be the crinkles of your smile he’s tracing when he blinks and opens his eyes again.

his trance is broken though, when his phone rings. damn it, he forgot to put his phone on do not disturb… “something wrong?” you ask sae, and he takes his phone out of his pocket. “not sure. there shouldn’t be a problem, i cancelled everything for tonight. ugh… just a second, amor…” he remorsefully takes your hand in his as a silent gesture of apology. he took too long to pick up the phone, it already went out…

he opened his call app, and saw that it was from his publicist, dabadie. he groaned before picking up.

“sae! you didn’t mention that you’d be going out on a date today, your paparazzi shot is already all over social medias..!” he worriedly stammers. “i didn’t? well, whatever… it’s just a date photo anyway.” sae shrugs, speaking quietly to ensure that you don’t hear. “right— but… you know the internet… they might criticize you, and say that she’s distracting you from soccer…”

sae is about to correct him— he’s about to say that you aren’t distracting him from his career, but he holds back once he remembers that you’re right beside him, eagerly waiting for his attention to be back on you.

“i… have to speak to you for a second, im already outside the restaurant… the paparazzi didn’t censor out the location well enough either… so, the agency’s security car will follow you two home…” he adds on. sae sighs. “i have to speak to you too. i’ll meet you outside.” he hangs up. he huffs in exasperation and shallowly drops his phone, making it clatter on the table; the screen is left open on his call record. “im sorry, amor… i have to quickly take care of something, i’ll be back soon, i promise.” he kisses your hand.

“hmph, don’t worry. it’s dabadie, right? he’s always worried about something…” you laugh. of course you’d be understanding about it. you always understood. “heh, that he is.” he sasses before leaving the table.

…and you can’t help but notice that his phone is still open.

his phone is practically yelling at you, “check out what’s on me, s/o! check it out right now!”, and you simply can’t resist the temptation to!

first, you simply scroll around at his call record; nothing too interesting, it’s filled with calls from dabadie, and you. as well as occasional calls from his mom. how tepid, as sae would put it. you exit the app, and find his home screen wallpaper to be a picture he took of you; you’re looking out into the distance, the large castle of sleeping beauty in the background.

you smile to yourself at that cute photo, and move to his photos; it’s filled with photos of you, and almost none of him— not unless you were beside him. you scroll down to check out his older photos; they’re childhood pictures, only a few of them are with rin included.

…

…anyways, ‘what is in sae itoshi’s notes app?’, you ponder. you open his notes app.

‘things i want to eat: 1. omelette, 2. paella, 3. pesto pasta’

‘onitsuka tiger mexico - kill bill/grey, new balance 2002r - grey, asics gel NYC - oyster grey’

‘laundry’

‘i love you’

you laugh at the randomness of his notes, quickly scrolling through them. it’s true when they say that a boy’s notes is truly random.

but that last note catches your eye. it’s a pretty odd note that just says ‘i love you’ with no additional text. and, it makes you wonder.

sae’s an organized person, more or less. so, his notes must be filed too. and, you’re correct. there are three files; ‘lists’, ‘important documents’, and a file with your initial as its’ name.

the other two don’t seem as interesting, nor seem as mysterious. so, you click on the mysterious file.

and, the file is filled with everything about you; he’s written down your birthday (including the time…), your family members’ names, foods you like to eat when you aren’t feeling well, shows that you like to watch… everything.

and, there’s a note that catches your eye. it’s a cut-off sentence, since it was too long. you decide to feed your curiosity and click on the note.

‘she talks to everyone, even the people she doesn’t like.

it takes a lot to piss her off.

she’s always kind to me, after all.

she seems really eager to please, but she has quite the backbone.

she works really hard, but i don’t think many see it.

her generosity knows no bounds, and she always knows what kind of joke to make.

i didn’t think it was possible for a soul to be so beautiful.

nor, that someone like i would meet a soul like her’s.

but, im grateful to the stars above that i met her.

someone as kind as her deserves to receive all the love she gives.

i don’t think she knows how loved she really is though.

what a beautiful human being she is.

there simply isn’t enough words to describe the way her dimples crinkle when she’s happy.

the day she was conceived, the gods must’ve tenderly sculpted her heart out of ivory and gold.

the way she enamors everyone in the room simply by walking inside, and the way her personality shines in her rushed, yet sweet handwriting.

one day, i hope she’ll finally be perpetually happy.

so, that she can always shine that enchanting smile of her’s.

she deserves all of it.’

was this a poem..? it didn’t seem like it, it didn’t rhyme, and the stanzas didn’t have equal amounts of lines… but, the way he worded it out almost made it seem like he was a poet.

you don’t… even know what to think at such a romantic confession. it’s certainly much more than sae has ever verbally said to you. but, the fact that he had written this with you in mind makes your heart pound like crazy.

you’ve always known that sae loves you, but seeing his private thoughts all written out for you to read was… overwhelming.

“going through my texts, amor? i’m not texting any other woman besides you.” sae nonchalantly jokes. shit— time went quicker than you’d thought. “ah, nn… just got a bit curious, babe…” you hum. “what were you looking at..?” he asks, and his eyes widen the moment he sees what you were reading. out of all the things on his phone, that was the last thing he wanted you reading.

he embarrassedly closes his phone. “so… what was all that writing about..? were you trying to be a poet?” you jokingly ask; you knew that sae wasn’t mad, per say… he was probably just embarrassed. “n..no… it was, ah…” he clears his throat. “it was just… something i typed out when i realized i had many observations about you that i needed to write down. i just got sidetracked while i was typing.” he explains.

you smile, your entire body feeling like you’re on fire. the love you feel for sae itoshi feels like too much to contain in your heart. “it was really sweet, sae…” you assure him. for some reason, you have the odd incentive to just… cry right now. you love him so much.

“i know. but, it’s also too sappy.” he huffs. “aw, don’t be so shy… i know you’re just a huge softie under that tough surface…” you tease, moving closer to cuddle up to his side. “im not soft. i just love you, okay?” he groans. “don’t make me say embarrassing things.”

your smile widens, making him look at you with that lovesick look in his eyes. “aww… well, i guess i know how much you love me now anyway, so that’s good enough..!” you mentally fist pump at this small victory.

the atmosphere suddenly feels light again as you start to chatter again, teasing him slightly before going back to what you were speaking about before he had left. and still, sae’s looking at you like you’re the world cup trophy, like you’re all he’s dreamed of.

and sae thinks…

‘…you’ll know how sappy i can get when it’s our wedding day.’

but he should save that for another 5 years, or so.

[manicmanuscription]

Solstice and Sorrow

Azriel x Reader

Word Count: 17427

Warnings: Extreme angst, toxic friends, dark thoughts, fluff, happy endings.

Summary: What will happen when Selena’s (OC) toxic friends poison her mind and make her doubt her worthiness of Azriel when she’s already struggling with intense flashbacks and PTSD during this Solstice season

─── ♡ ───

Selena usually loved the holidays. That feeling of contentment that thrummed in her chest when the air started getting colder, when the spiders, ghosts and pumpkins slowly started turning to wreaths and twinkling lights and she absolutely adored winter solstice. Selena loved sitting around a fire and chatting with her friends a whiskey or hot fudge in hand, she loved giving meaningful gifts to her family. Everything about the holiday was so special.

Yet this year was different. 

Azriel had been working on the continent for four months so far, which was…fine. It was fine. It wasn’t the first time he had been gone for so long. Selena had always done her best to manage. Throwing herself into her work  until her hands bled that she didn’t have time to think about the ache in her chest. It was harder this time though, not having him  here to cozy up with by the fire as snow fell, or to make gingerbread with their nephew. 

She had shoved that bittersweet feeling far down though, occasional loving tugs on the bond and the cold weather increasing the numbr of patients she dealt with all got her through the day. 

It wasn’t until she recieved written word that he would not be able return in time for Solstice that Selena had gotten really upset, her heart sinking. She had shut off the bond as soon as she had read Azriel’s letter so he wouldn’t feel her sadness and had ignored the twinge of guilt that passed over before she did. 

It was her favorite holiday and she wouldn’t be spending it with her mate, the love of her life. Selena had burst into tears right then and there. She was so exhausted these last few months, running suspiciously close to burnout and all she wanted was him. 

So of course after a few days of wallowing she went to her childhood friends, they had been begging to see her and drinking in their favorite bar to ignore her feelings sounded like the perfect way to spend her evening and for awhile, it was. The music was just right and the drinks poured faster than Selena could blink. But when she had explained to her friends why she felt so off, they had responed so weirdly. 

“Spending every second attached to his hip isn’t enough?”

“Girl..this is good for you! You need some time for yourself.”

“No..we don’t mean it like that just… I mean come on we haven’t seen you in months, and now your complaining about the person your -and no offense honey you know we love you- literally always with.”

“You know what we mean, like you’re always all over him- give the male some room to breathe!”

Selena had left after that, and with the alcohol numbing her she couldn’t feel the harsh cold nipping at her bare shoulders. Her friend’s words echoing in her head until they were the only thing she could focus on. She knew she was clingy, physical touch had always been her love language. It was a reminder that they were safe, that they were here with her, not only that but she loved touching Azriel. Loved holding his hand under the table and crawling into his lap on the couch. Tears welled up in her eyes as she distantly remembered comments from Azriel’s brother’s when he introduced her a few decades ago. They had been surprised at his…willingness to her.

“Who are you and what have you done with Azriel.”

“If you’re here I guess Lena isn’t far behind.”

“And he…let’s you do that?”

Her mind was a whirlwind of memories and voices all overlapping in her head, it made her drunken head spin even faster when suddenly the thought came up so fast from the darkest part’s of her it had her pausing in the middle of the snow covered street. 

What if she was somehow forcing herself on him?

What if he had been pretending he was fine with all her advances but in reality he hated them? What if for over a hundred years she had been making her mate deeply uncomfortable? 

She let out a strangled sob at the thought. Trying to force herself to be quiet lest she wake anyone up with her misery at this ungodly hour. She had always tried to be respectful, but she had gotten too comfortable and now-

Now she was making Azriel resent her. 

Selena couldn’t stop the full on cry that fell from her lips, stumbling forward as tears blurred her vision on her walk home, she didn’t know when she tripped on the loose stone’s and cut her knee open, she didn’t know when the shadows had enough of her pity party and winnowed her home. Selena barely even remembered those same shadows tucking her in bed before slinking off to tell their master. 

———

The next morning she was woken up by the blinding intrusion of the sun. Selena groaned, her head was pounding and she turned away from the window, hoping to escape the light but hissed at the pain raidiating through her body at the movement. It took her a few moment’s to remember what happened last night and when she did, she curled up even further in the blankets as she cried once again. Everything felt heavy, like the weight of the entire world was crushing in on her slowly and she couldn’t escape it. Couldn’t escape the truth that she was a horrible mate. The shame was crushing her heart, distant traumatic memories a faint buzzing in the back of her head and Selena decided to stay in bed just a little while longer, at least until she had to get ready for tonight’s Solstice celebration.

Time moved slowly and yet too fast. She had just watched the clock on the wall tick the minutes by, falling in and out of sleep to avoid the heaviness of her thoughts, everything felt numb and yet when the sun started going down Selena felt like she needed more time to rest, to pull herself together.

With a pained sigh she forced herself out of bed, ignoring how the few shadows Azriel left behind in case of emergencies swirled around her feet to make sure she was steady. Her shoulder was throbbing and her knee hurt like a bitch and once she was looking at herself in the mirror she knew why. The fall she had taken was still fuzzy in her mind and she was almost postive that the shadows had lessened the damage. But a bruised shoulder and a scabbed knee was nothing in comparison to some of the other injuries she had faced in this lifetime. The massive hangover wasn’t going to help her healing process so Selena applied some of the ointment’s she kept in the cabinent and took a vial of foul tasting medicine for her headache and set to getting ready for dinner. 

———

Azriel knew how important Winter Solstice was to his beautiful mate. Her family celebrated loudly every year before their untimely and gruesome deaths. Whether or not his lovely wife wanted to admit it he could tell that she needed him around even more during this time, to celebrate just as loud as she had before, to cherish and hold her even tighter as a reminder that he wasn’t going anywhere. But this damned assignment was ruining everything. He had been stuck an a different continent for months with little to no communication with Selena given the severity of this situation- trying to hunt down rumours about harming the little prince of night. He wished he could shadow-step immediately into his sweetheart’s arms but with how spread thin his magic and how much it would take to do so would nearly if not assuredly kill him. So a flying and winnow combo was the only way he could make it to her and he had left days ago determined to return for her favorite holiday. 

Yet he had severly underestimated how much energy he had left for shadow-walking, it was taking more time than usual especially trying to avoid detection from other courts lest he cause a political nightmare. So Azriel regrettedly sent a letter, the words appearing on the magic paper faster than he currently was, he could feel her mates disappointment before she hide it away and the thought almost had him not wanting to return at all to avoid facing that sadness head on. But everything ached for her, every second away felt like his body was slowly shutting down. The bond in his chest anxiously awaiting to return to his other half. He was flying above the clouds nearing Pyrthian’s border when suddenly her quietness on the bend snapped in half and all of her emotions hit him like a brick he nearly fell out of the sky and into the ocean below when he luckily caught himself on a strong current. 

He could feel her shame, her drunkeness, he could feel that little ball of anxiety in her chest getting bigger and bigger with each passing second he felt like he was close to hyperventilating right along with her. Azriel had to take deep calming breaths doing everything he could to reach her and calm her down and it only made it worse his mind felt like it was burning and his heart was pumping too fast. He was starting to panic at the weight of her emotions, slowly starting to drift down. He couldn’t fucking think-

Hundreds of years of displine and training had him regaining control of the sitaution on his hand. He had to shut off the bond so he couldn’t feel her, avoiding another untimely fall as he did. Guilt ate away at him for doing so but something else spurred him to beat his wings faster. His mate was hurting and he needed to fix it now. The bond in his chest raged at the thought and the sudden adreneline boost made his siphons flare slightly with a new determination to get there as soon as possible.

——— 

Dinner went by in a rush and her entire family was sitting in around the fireplace passing around presents, soft music played from somewhere in the house but with like the rest of the noise it all buzzed faintly in the back of her head. She had slipped into this headspace so fast and now she was drowning it and she didn’t know what to do. 

A soft hand nudged her shoulder and she pulled her attention away from the window. Her High Lady was standing in front of her with a soft smile holding out a small box in her hands, wrapped up in gold with a red ribbon curling gracefully down the sides. The Inner Circle gave her a few worried glances before returning to their own conversations and Selena flushed with embarrassment at the realization Feyre had been trying to get her attention for awhile. 

“Sorry.” She breathed out, wanting to fold in an herself and disappear even further. The fae smiled gently. “Not a problem, it is quite beauitful out there.” Selena hummed in agreement silently thanking Feyre for saving her from any further embarrassment. “This is from Rhys and I.” 

She took the gift with a smile and thanked her High Lord and Lady who gave her answering grins in return, after delicately opening the expanse wrapping paper and revealed the book inside she couldn’t but feel a tang of sadness in her heart. She recognized the handwritting stamped on the leather cover. Selena quickly looked up at her friends to confirm and Feyre nodded. It was one of her mother’s medical journals, after her family’s violent death they had all been given out to muesuem’s or research groups that had needed the groundbreaking information inside. 

A tear slipped down her cheek as she thumbed the pages. Everything about it was so uniquely her. The messy handwriting, worn cover, the strong scent of her jasmine perfume still clinging to a few of the pages. “I found it in a musuem visiting Day and practically fought the curator for it. Thankfully Helion owed me a favor.” 

“Thank you…I-I have no words.” Selena breathed out and Feyre gave her another smile. “There are none needed.” 

Present’s were close to being done when the clock struck midnight. Rhys outdoing himself each year with spoiling his mate for her brithday, she was making a joke about need to add a whole wing to the house just so she had a place to put her increasingly extravagant gifts and Rhysand’s eye glinted with mischief at the thought. Soon the night wrapped up and Selena walked home, needing to feel the cold wind on her face as she processed her thoughts. 

Any other day she would’ve loved Feyre’s gift, but all it had done was twisted the swirling vortex of shame and grief in her heart. Her mind seemed to grow more weary with the weight pressing down on her. She missed her family, she missed the way her mom sung holiday song’s all year and how her brother’s always played with the colorful lights. 

She missed Azriel, and the thought hit her that she would always be missing him, it wasn’t long until he would eventually grow tired of her. She had ruined everything, needing a better escape from her thoughts Selena winnowed home. Grabbing the whiskey on the top shelf Cassian bought a few years ago as an anniversary gift and popped the bottle open, the hands moved on the clock extremely slow and also too fast, drink after drink was poured as her mood soured even more. She didn’t even notice when the door opened and that familiar scent of rain and cedar invaded her senses. Didn’t even notice the thrum of the bond humming in delight until her mate was kneeling in front of her with a soft smile on his face.

“Hi Baby.” 

Selena almost broke down in tears right then and there, every fiber in her body screaming at her to jump into his arms, tackle him to the floor and pepper his face with kisses. But her friends word’s rang in her ear like a dark bell echoing in her head tugging on that rotten piece inside her chest. She smiled at him, the sight and scent of him still soothing some of the jagged pieces of her heart. “Hi.” She breathed out softly. 

Azriel’s brow’s furrowed at her lack of reaction but he wasn’t surprised he could already make an educated guess of where his lovely mate’s head was at based on the echoed feelings in the bond and the shadows whispering information in his ear. He gently pried the whiskey from her grasp and kissed her forehead, her nose, and then her mouth. She sighed into the kiss and Azriel’s heart hummed in contentment as the bond slowly settled at finally being able to touch her after all this time. He lifted her off the couch and carried her to their shared bedroom. Placing her down gently on the bed and settled next to her. Usually Selena would automatically curl into his side laying her head against his muscled chest and entertwine their hands pressing a kiss to each of his scarred fingers. But instead she curled away from and Azriel seethed silently. 

He was usually an extrememly patient male, he had to be in his line of work but she didn’t jump into his arms when he came home, not even kissing him or saying she missed him and now she was pretending he didn’t exist in their marital bed. His patience snapped. He let out a dark growl, sitting himself against the headboard and pulled Selena onto his hips so fast she let out a gasp of surprise. 

The sound elicited something within him and his stomach churned with need. But first he needed to check on his gorgeous wife before even acknowledging the desire that had slowly been building up with their time apart. “You gonna tell me what’s wrong sweetheart or do I need to pry it out of you?” He whispered placing soft kisses on the side of her neck. Selena’s eyelids fluttered shut at the sensation, everything felt intensified after their distance. His hand’s massaging her inner thights, his lips slowly moving down to her shoulder, the shadows running along her spine. It was overwhelming and she wanted to lose herself in the feeling, in him. But the voices returned tenfold and snapped their jaws viciously clamping down on her heart and she jerked away from him and off the bed. Hurt briefly flashed across his expression but instead he let out a soft breath. 

“W-Why are you doing that.” Selena asked gasping for air. This was too all too much. You’re going to lose him, you’re going to lose him, you’re going to lose him, you’re going to-

“Selena..Baby…” Azriel said in the deceptively soft tone it skittered across her bones and her heat skipped a beat when he said her name. “You’re my mate can I not kiss you?” 

Azriel slid off the bed, walking over to her silently he was good at reading people, especially her. He had spent years figuring her out understanding how her mind worked and how her heart sang exactly for moment like these and he knew that she just needed to talk aloud or else those little voices trying to take his mate away wouldn’t go away. She just needed a little push and Azriel knew her body, knew which button’s to push to elicit certain reactions. “The faster you tell me what’s wrong the faster I can fix it sweetheart.”

“I don’t need you to fix it!” She snapped, her voice breaking. “I-I just-“ A shuddering cry escaping her throat as Azriel gently pushed the pieces of her hair back. His heart shattered at the sound, the bond hissing at her dispair and he wrapped his arms around her pulling her close as she cried her body shaking with the force of her sobs. “I don’t…want to lose you.” Selena said gasping for air in between her words. 

“You’re never going to lose me.”

She cried harder at that. “I lose everyone, it’s not long before-“

He pulled away grasping her face in his hands softly but firm, locking eyes with her so she could understand the gravity of his words. “Selena you’re not going to lose me whatever things you’re thinking it’s not true.” She let out a painful whimper, cries had subsided to small hiccups as she tried to regain control to speak. “I feel.. like-like you secretly hate me that I am too clingy and annoying and right now…I feel like you’re lying to me.” Her voice broke at the end and a pained sob escaped her lips as she finally admitted to what had beeing weighing on her heart and mind. 

Azriel felt like his heart had fucking shattered and turned to dust on the floor. 

He felt tears prick at his eyes as he realized how severe she had fallen into her trauma, she had turned away from him not able to face him as more sobs wracked her body. “Selena.” Azriel whispered his voice cracking. “Selena look at me. Please.” 

Selena’s heart broke ever further at the pain in Azriel’s voice and she slowly turned, he touched his forehead against hers and than pressing a soft kiss there as well. His hands rested on the side of her neck and the other one on his hip. “Selena I love you. I worship the ground you walk on. I would go fucking insane without you, not having you jump into my arms as soon I got home made me feel like the world was ending. I love it when you touch me, I love it when you whisper how much you love me right before I fall asleep, I love it when you come and find me while I’m working just to curl in my lap. I am so addicted to you it makes it hard to breath and If I didn’t have you I’d go mad. You’re the brightest light in this world, watching you shine is the greatest honor of my life. When you laugh my heart sings, and when you cry it breaks. I love you so much Selena. I am utterly consumed by you.” 

Azriel grabbed her hands and settled them over his heart. “Do you feel that? My heart only beats for you and nothing and no one else. Ensuring your happiness and health is something I take very seiously and great pride in.” He was pushing all his love and adoration through the bond it was overwhelming and Selena had no choice but to feel the truth in his words, it spread her entire body with this mind numbing warmth and she let out a watery laugh. More tears falling as she did so. Azriel brushed them away ever so softly with the pad of his thumbs. 

“I’m sor-“ He cut her off with a kiss. “Don’t.” He whispered quietly. “You have saved me from myself too many times to count dearest, it’s a privilege to even try do the same for you.”

“I love you.” Selena choked out, wrapping her arms around his neck and bringing him impossibly closer.

“I am your’s Selena, and you are mine.” Azriel said with finality. Selena whispered it back to him, trailing soft kisses up his neck and peppering his face with their soft lips. Azriel grinned, the dutiful shadow that had been with her that night had already told on her toxic friends, whom he’d never liked and believe it or not this isn’t the first time he comforted Selena after their misplaced words. They would be dealt with, Azriel growing tired of their bullshit affecting his love. 

But right now all he wanted was to hold her. He picked her up and she squealed happily, wrapping her legs around him as Azriel walked them back to the bed. He was leaning above her his hands still gripping her hips tightly as he pressed his lips to hers. “Do you believe me when I say that I love you?” Azriel asked, pushing his love through the bond once again and Selena nodded. Azriel smiled, “Good because you couldn’t get rid of me if you tried.” 

Selena laughed and a moment of silence passed between them as Azriel started pressing more kisses to the inside of her wrists, then her fingertips, than her forehead, her nose and finally her mouth. 

“Thank you.” Selena breathed out in the peaceful moment they had created. Azriel just hummed and pressed his lips to hers again absolutely determined to make her feel good, needing to chase away the darkness even further. His hand’s slipped under her skirt brushing against her inner thighs and Selena let herself reveal in his touch and in the all consuming warmth vibrating from his side of the bond with an intensity that thrummed under her skin. The doubt eddied from her mind and Selena sent every ounce of love right back to him as she finally pulled herself out of her dark thoughts. 

“Mine.” She whispered with a slight nibble on his lips and he growled lowly, returning the favor. “Mine.” He whispered back. 

A/N: Holy shit guys I've been writing this fic FOR WEEKSSSS! I kept deleting and restarting and getting stuck halfway through, this isn't really where I wanted to go with it but omg here we are. I'm not 100% happy with it but thank fuck its done. I might rewrite a different version later but idk. Let me know what you think!

[ewanmitchellcrumbs]

Just for the Taste

Pairing: Michael Gavey (Saltburn) x f!reader Warnings: Masturbation, smut. Word count: ~3k

Summary: Growing increasingly frustrated with the pace things are going at between her and Michael, his girlfriend takes matters into her own hands, quite literally.

Author's note: Day nine of Smuffmas - stockings and sex toys. No tag list. Follow @fics-by-ewanmitchellcrumbs and turn on post notifications.

She had met Michael in her first month at Oxford university. It was a Saturday night and, unlike the vast majority of people living in her college, she had opted to stay in instead of hitting the town to spend her student loan in one of the many pubs. She had a tutorial on Monday and was determined to impress the computer scientist who would be leading it. Her entire weekend revolved around getting ahead with the required reading in order to have a full understanding of the previous week’s lecture topics. She wanted to be able to talk about them at length, and share her ideas in a comprehensive manner.

Her stomach had dropped as she had reached into her backpack, feeling that her Discrete Mathematics textbook was missing. She cursed under her breath, realising she had left it on the table in the Bodleian Old Library. It closed at 4pm on Saturdays, so she’d have to wait until it opened tomorrow to go and fetch it back.

A lack of a textbook wasn’t enough to deter her though. On average, of students that applied to the Computer Science course at Oxford, only 17% were interviewed, and only 5% were successful. She was acutely aware of how fortunate she was, but also how hard she’d worked to get here, and wasn’t about to let that lapse.

A thorough Google search yielded nothing useful, all of the PDFs she managed to unearth were outdated editions and would have been of no use to her. She decided to go door knocking – the time will pass anyway, she figured, and there might be someone in their room that had a copy of the textbook that she could borrow. A long shot, but it was either that or lose an evening of studying, and she wasn’t prepared to do that.

Unfortunately for her, the Computer Science course wasn’t an especially sociable one – the difficulty of the subject matter and competitive nature of the field it eventually lead into wasn’t a breeding ground for fast friendships, and with only 44 people on the course who were all more than happy to keep to themselves, she had no idea where any of them were actually staying. There had to be at least one in her college though.

The first three doors she knocked on yielded no response, the fourth was answered by a flustered, barely dressed girl, who stared at her in wide eyed bewilderment as a male voice from within the room called out “tell them to go away!”

Her skin ablaze with embarrassment, she descended the stairs and was fully prepared to give up after receiving no response from another two doors, before the one in the far corner creaked open, causing her to turn to face the noise. A bespectacled pair of blue eyes peered out at her, narrowed in suspicion.

“Do you have any idea what time it is?”

She glanced at her watch – just after 9.30pm. “Yeah, it’s not late…”

“What are you doing?” he asked her. His voice was quiet, but laced with derision. “Are you pissed?”

She shook her head, slowly approaching his door as she clasped her hands in front of her. His stare was piercing and intense, yet his posture was so rigid she got the sense that he’d likely slam the door on her if she moved too quickly.

“I haven’t been drinking,” she said apologetically, “just need to borrow a textbook. You’re not on my course so I doubt you could help me anyway.”

“What are you reading?” he asked, his posture softening slightly, though he didn’t open the door any wider.

“Computer Science.”

“Hmm. I’m reading Maths, so–”

Her eyes lit up, a surge of hope making her heart soar. “I need a copy of Discrete Mathematics,” she said excitedly, “I don’t suppose you have one?”

“Not a physical copy…”

She visibly deflated, her heart sinking in disappointment as her shoulders sagged. “Nevermind then. Thanks anyway.”

“I’ve got a PDF,” he said, opening the door wider as she turned to leave.

She stopped in her tracks, her gaze drifting to where his fingers clutched the USB drive that was clasped to the belt loop of his tan coloured cargo trousers with a carabiner clip. “From what year?” she asked quietly, as her eyes lifted back up to his.

“2005.”

She grinned. That was exactly the year she needed. “You’re an absolute lifesaver,” she told him, her voice breathy with relief.

“I think the file might be too big for me to send over email though,” he admitted.

“Could you not just lend me the flash drive? I can give it straight back tomorrow morning.”

He pursed his lips, eyeing her from head to toe. “How do I know you will? This is a one gigabyte USB drive, it’s valuable. You might steal it.”

She grinned, until she realised he was being serious. “I live in the room directly above yours,” she told him, gesturing upwards towards the ceiling, “so you’ll know where to find me.” She gave him her name, as she fiddled with the clasp of her watch, removing it from her wrist and holding it out to him. “Here, insurance, so you know I’m not trying to steal from you.”

The faintest hint of a smile ghosted across his lips as his eyes crinkled in amusement. “Alright, fine,” he relented, taking her watch from her and slipping it into his pocket. He unclipped the USB drive and handed it to her. “I’m Michael, by the way.”

“Thanks, Michael,” she said with a coy smile, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

She made her way back upstairs to her room and spent the rest of the night studying then, true to her word, on her way to the library the following morning, she knocked on Michael’s door to give him back his USB drive.

“I’m glad to see you’re a woman of your word,” Michael said playfully, as she clipped the drive back onto his carabiner, his cheeks flushing at her close proximity.

She held out her wrist and, silently, he clasped her watch back around it. Her skin tingled as his fingers brushed across it, their eyes meeting as their breaths simultaneously caught in their throats.

From that moment on, her and Michael were inseparable. The attraction was instantaneous, deepened by a shared love of mathematics and a refusal to toe the line when it came to the unspoken social hierarchy in place at the university.

Michael was a virgin, and so they took things slowly. She had had a long term boyfriend before going away to university, so she had had sex, but wasn’t overwhelmingly experienced. The split between her and her ex had been amicable; both going away to study in entirely different cities, they had wanted to give each other the opportunity to focus on their respective courses, rather than the pressures of maintaining a long distance relationship.

Things often turned hot and heavy between her and Michael. As their kisses grew feverish, his hips grinding of their own accord against hers, she could feel he was hard, knew that he wanted her, but was often left disappointed when he would hurry to the bathroom for a cold shower before anything truly interesting could happen between them. She cared for him, so she was happy to wait, though the sexual frustration was beginning to take its toll on her.

She had never been more grateful for the bullet vibrator she had brought with her to university, though it was costing her a small fortune in batteries – it had never had so much use before.

Three months into their relationship, she was beginning to get desperate. They had arranged to watch a film in Michael’s room that evening, so she decided to make it more than obvious that she was eager to take things a step further.

She pulled on lace topped hold up stockings and a black, lacy lingerie set, covering it with the red woolen jumper that Michael had left in her room the last time he was there. It fell to her mid thigh, so it wasn't immediately obvious that she had no other clothing on underneath.

They had fallen into the comfortable habit of leaving their doors unlocked when they were expecting each other to come over, so that they wouldn’t have to knock. She let herself straight into his room, finding Michael hunched over at his desk, fiddling with a Blockbuster DVD case to open it, so he could insert the disc into the CD drive of his laptop.

“What we watching then?” she asked, letting her rucksack drop from her shoulder onto the floor as she perched on the edge of his bed.

“Revenge of the Sith,” he answered, turning in his seat to look at her, “it’s a Star Wars film. I thought, erm…”

He trailed off, his lips parting slightly as he pushed his glasses up his nose. She followed his line of sight, seeing that the hem of his jumper had ridden up as she’d sat on the bed, revealing the lacy tops of her stockings. She smiled, knowing her outfit was having the desired effect, before looking back at him.

“You thought what?” she asked innocently, settling back properly on the bed as she moved a pillow behind her to lean against. She didn’t bother to pull the jumper back down, wanting to leave no room for doubt as to what her intentions were.

Michael swallowed thickly, before shaking his head. “Doesn’t matter, let’s just watch the film.”

As the film played, she could hardly concentrate, the closeness of Michael next to her, the heat of his body so close to hers was a distraction. Their fingers were entwined upon the sheets between them, a gesture of closeness and intimacy, but it wasn’t enough. She needed more.

Slowly, she moved his hand onto her thigh, leaving their fingers interwoven there for a few moments while she gauged his reaction. His eyes flitted to hers and he offered her a tight smile before he returned his attention back to his laptop screen. He made no attempt to move his hand away, so she left it there.

Gradually, she disentangled her fingers from his, pulling her hand away until only his remained on top of her thigh. His thumb absentmindedly began to stroke at the lace of her stocking, tracing the swirling pattern of the material as he continued to watch the film.

She had no idea what was occurring on the screen; the light sabers, the red and black face of Darth Maul, it was all just a blur of colour to her as her pulse raced beneath Michael’s touch. His hand moved higher, fingertips brushing against the soft skin of her inner thigh. It took all of her restraint not to just grab his hand and place it where she needed him most, knowing that she shouldn’t rush him. At a maddeningly slow pace his fingers inched their way up, her core throbbing with desire and the crotch of her knickers growing damp with arousal the closer he got. As his fingertips reached the hem of her underwear, so close to pushing underneath, the credits of the film began to roll and Michael moved his hand away, climbing off of the bed towards the desk where the laptop sat.

She wanted to scream in frustration, every nerve ending in her body felt ablaze, desperate to feel something, anything and he was painfully oblivious to all of it.

Not in the mood to answer his questions about what she had thought about what they had just watched – she hadn’t been paying attention anyway – she stood up, tugging the jumper down and slipping the shoes back on.

“Night then,” she called over her shoulder, not giving him a chance to respond as she hurried out of his room and back up the stairs towards her own.

She knew she was being rude and incredibly unfair to Michael, and that they would likely have to discuss at some point how his apprehension towards physical intimacy was affecting her, but right now she was a pent up mess of hormones and arousal and she needed release.

Slamming the door closed the moment she stepped into her room, she flopped down onto the bed, roughly tugging her underwear down her legs and tossing it to one side. She reached into the bedside table drawer, feeling around until her fingers wrapped around the familiar shape of her bullet vibrator.

Thank god, she thought, switching it on and bringing it between her legs, sighing in relief as she pressed it against her swollen clit and her eyes fluttered closed. Her breaths grew heavier as she moved the toy in tight circles to aid the gentle rumble against her sensitive bundle of nerves.

She froze as the door swung to, her eyes snapping open to see Michael standing there.

“Hey, you left your bag, so I– oh, shit, sorry!”

“Wait!” she pleaded, turning the toy off and chucking it down onto the bed as she moved into a sitting position. “Don’t go.”

He let her rucksack drop to the floor beside his feet, closing the door behind him and resting his back against it. His eyes were glued to the floor, his cheeks ablaze as he struggled to find the words. “Were you…were you…um…”

“Yeah, yeah, I was,” she admitted shamefully, feeling her skin grow warm with humiliation.

“Is that why you left so quickly? Because you wanted to…”

He looked so dejected, so sad, so hurt, it made her want to burst into tears. She’d have done anything to take away the furrow of his brow, the disappointed look in his eyes. “Yes,” she whispered, hating herself for the answer.

“Do you not want to with me then?” he asked, his voice so soft she had to strain to hear it.

“Of course I do,” she insisted, “that’s why I was doing…what I was doing.”

“I don’t understand,” he admitted, finally looking up to meet her eye, his back still pressed against the door as she sat on the bed.

She sighed, raking a hand through her hair, unable to keep the frustration from her voice as she tried to explain. “I want you, Michael, but I appreciate that you’re a virgin and I don’t want to push you before you’re ready. I have needs though, I’m sorry…”

“You shouldn’t have to apologise for that,” he reassured her, pushing away from the door and slowly approaching the bed, “I am ready, I just never realised you wanted to, you never said.”

“I’ve been dropping hints left and right, did you not see what I was wearing tonight?”

“Yeah, my jumper,” he answered, rubbing the back of his neck, “just assumed you hadn’t done any washing for a while.”

She groaned, fighting the urge to laugh – for an intelligent guy, he could be so incredibly dense. “I want to fuck you! Is that clear enough?”

Michael nodded, his gaze falling upon the toy that lay discarded beside her. “I don’t know what I’m doing though. I’ve always just been able to do maths in my head, never needed a calculator before, but I know they help people. Maybe that–” he pointed towards the vibrator, “could be my calculator, could help me.”

“What do you mean?”

“Show me how to fuck you.”

The bluntness took her breath away, but the intensity of his stare left no room for argument. “Alright,” she nodded, picking the toy up once more.

Michael stepped clumsily out of his shoes, then moved to the foot of the bed, kneeling upon it. “Go on then, show me.”

She could feel nervous excitement fluttering in her belly as she laid back, allowing her legs to fall open, giving him an unobstructed view of her most intimate area, before she pressed the bullet back against herself and switched it on.

Michael inhaled sharply, his hands coming to rest upon the knees of her bent legs, holding them open as he watched her intently. “What does it feel like?”

“It…it feels good,” she whispered breathlessly, slowly circling the toy against her bud, “there’s pressure, but it feels nice.” 

She gazed up at him as she panted and moaned softly, seeing the way his pupils dilated subtly. His hands moved to his belt, tugging it open, causing her to bite her lip, a mixture of arousal, curiosity and disbelief all fought for dominance in her pleasure-addled mind as she watched him unzip his trousers and free his hardened length. It was long, thick and slightly curved, the tip weeping with arousal.

“Can I?” he asked, gently grasping her wrist to coax her hand away from herself. 

She nodded, allowing him to move her arm to her side, the toy still buzzing in her hand. She gasped as he replaced the toy with the flushed head of his cock, rubbing it in circular motions, allowing it to notch against her clitoral hood.

“Like this?” he asked, his voice strained, and she simply nodded, desperately fighting the urge to buck her hips from the exquisite pressure he was applying.

“Shouldn’t…shouldn’t your first time be special?” she uttered, voice thick with desire.

“We’re not fucking, we’re learning,” he said softly, his gaze never moving from between her thighs as he continued to stroke himself through her slick folds, “and besides, it being with you automatically makes it special.”

Her heart fluttered at his words, they would have been romantic were it not for the lewdness of what they were doing.

“Now,” he said, pulling back slightly and grabbing her wrist again, “show me what else you do with this toy.”

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More Michael fics

[transgender-mothman]

If you read my response, you’ll see I have played and run other systems. I have a large collection of ttrpgs, and have played quite a few. Many of them are small or indie, and I also have friends who are indie game designers (shout out to @strangeharpy !). I think my actual second longest campaign was a powered by the apocalypse one, and I have designed a d6 magical girl game system from scratch because I couldn’t find what I wanted in a pre-existing system. And it worked great and was very fun, if difficult, to do! I am a staunch supporter of indie games.

Now. That said. My current group does double back to 5e. That is very true. I’ve been playing 5e off and on for a long time, but I wouldn’t go so far as to say we are necessarily constantly “supporting a monopoly” in that … we already own the books, either physically or digital copies, and there’s no buying of every single thing wotc releases. We don’t use d&d beyond. We don’t run modules or whatever it is that wotc calls the prefab campaigns these days. I haven’t bought a new 5e book in YEARS, because there’s no need to and tbh I don’t care to give WotC more money particularly with the direction they’ve been going. My group play very home brew, very tweaked, very RP heavy games using the 5e system as a base, and it works for us. And that’s our prerogative and that’s totally fine to do! My initial statement stands—- play whatever, however, and with whoever is best for the experience YOU want to have.

As for why we go back to 5e, just because there are things we drop or leave out, doesn’t mean there aren’t aspects of it we love. The races, classes, feats, spells, and combat system work for us and you can really have such a different experience from campaign to campaign by mixing up what you play and how, and there are tons of (free) resources by players for players online to assist or add to your game. There’s a ton of actual play content, which is accessible and fun to engage with, that gets newbies a solid idea on how a ttrpg flows or works, and this is such a help for people who are apprehensive about starting. And for older players who have started with previous editions, there’s at least some commonality between versions (I started playing 3.5 myself). Not everyone who plays or continues to play 5e is actively harming the indie community by using resources they already have or games they are comfortable/familiar with.

I very much believe everyone should try other games if they’re able. There’s such a wealth of cool, unique games out by smaller companies and indie developers. But I do understand why 5e has a lot of pull to it— yes, it’s THE mainstream system, which unfortunately comes with all the other trappings of capitalism. But the game isn’t bad in and of itself and I don’t believe playing it, any way you want to, is a moral or ethical failing.

5e is a gateway game now more than ever. I am a very nerdy horror film guy, but I didn’t start with indie arthouse movies… like most people, I started with major Hollywood franchises, because of mass accessibility. Everyone starts somewhere! And not everyone will branch out from mainstream d&d to games that are more off the beaten track, same as not all horror fans will go from the Saw franchise to weird experimental horror that no one outside of Letterboxd has ever heard of. But you know what? Some will. And that’s great.

I think an important part of the "D&D is easy to learn" argument is that a lot of those people don't actually know how to play D&D. They know they need to roll a d20 and add some numbers and sometimes they need to roll another type of die for damage. A part of it is the culture of basically fucking around and letting the GM sort it out. Players don't actually feel the need to learn the rules.

Now I don't think the above actually counts as knowing the rules. D&D is a relatively crunchy game that actually rewards system mastery and actually learning how to play D&D well, as in to make mechanically informed tactical decisions and utilizing the mechanics to your advantage, is actually a skill that needs to be learned and cultivated. None of that is to say that you need to be a perfectly tuned CharOp machine to know how to play D&D. But to actually start to make the sorts of decisions D&D as a game rewards you kind of need to know the rules.

And like, a lot of people don't seem to know the rules. They know how to play D&D in the most abstract sense of knowing that they need to say things and sometimes the person scowling at them from behind the screen will ask them to roll a die. But that's hardly engaging with the mechanics of the game, like the actual game part.

And to paraphrase @prokopetz this also contributes to the impression that other games are hard to learn: because a lot of other games don't have the same culture of play of D&D so like instead of letting new players coast by with a shallow understanding of the rules and letting the GM do all the work, they ask players to start making mechanically informed decisions right away. Sure, it can suck for onboarding, but learning from your mistakes can often be a great way to learn.

[atenea585]

A Car For Christmas

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female Reader

Summary: Dean doesn't seem to want to be there for Christmas, but it seems that it was quite the opposite

Word Count: 984

A/N: Merry Christmas and Merry Holydays, everyone! This is my @spnfanficpond Secret Santa gift for @spnbabe67! I hope you like it and let me know!

Tags/Warnings: 18+, smut, angst, sex in a car, Christmas is here, established relationship

“I just don’t understand why you don’t want to celebrate Christmas. You’ve always wanted to.”

“We have a hunt, I’ve told you.” He said as he packed his things into his bag.

“I know, but… Dean,” You held his arm. “It’s Christmas…”

He sighed and turned to look at you.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart.”

You shook your head.

“No, you’re not.”

He frowned and turned his body towards you.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“What you heard. It seems like you’d rather hunt a creature that any other lone hunter could than spend Christmas with your brother and me.”

He stared at you and you noticed his jaw tense.

“That’s not true.” He murmured.

“Then prove it.” You looked at him pleadingly in the eyes. “Stay.”

He sighed and shook his head. He wasn’t going to stay.

“I’m sorry, really.”

He walked past you, leaving a kiss on your head before leaving.

A week had already passed, today was Christmas, and you were alone in the bunker. The tree you had decorated with the boys seemed dull, lifeless from the absence of the place.

You had been stirring the coffee in front of you for about twenty minutes. The energy you had been saving for this day was nowhere to be found. But a noise made you raise your head.

Maybe it had just been a normal noise in a bunker that was years old, but you got up anyway and followed the noise.

“Damn… Thing...” You heard a growl coming from the room you shared with Dean.

You peeked through the door and looked in confusion at the back of a man as he fixed something on the bed.

“Dean?”

He turned around in surprise and ran a hand through his hair.

“Hey, sweetheart.”

You raised an eyebrow and tried to look behind him.

“What are you doing here? And the hunt?” You asked as you walked towards him.

But he stood in your way, his hands on your arms.

“Well, you said it yourself, sweetheart. It’s Christmas.”

“What’s that back there?” You tried to look behind his shoulder again.

“Hey, hey.” He laughed nervously. “It’s nothing. Why don’t you go to the library for a while?”

“What’s that back there?” You repeated.

“Nothing, nothing.”

Dean tried to move you back, but you managed to get out of his grip and walk past him, seeing what was behind him.

It was a half wrapped box.

You heard him sigh behind you.

“It was supposed to be your Christmas present. But I realized I’m really bad at wrapping these things.”

You turned to look at him slowly, a smile making its way onto your face. Suddenly, you jumped on him, Dean immediately holding you up as you placed kisses all over his face.

“Whoa, hey, hey!” He looked surprised. “You haven’t even opened your present yet.”

You got off of him as you laughed.

“Okay, okay.” You said as you turned around and began to open the box.

When you opened it, you noticed a video tape. You took it and read what was written on it. The Best Lana Del Rey Songs.

You shook your head in amusement.

“Now I can listen to Lana del Rey in your car.”

“Or yours.”

You turned to look at him and he was holding up car keys.

“No… You didn’t.”

“Oh, yes, I did.” He nodded. “I built you a car.”

“Oh, my God…” You slowly placed the tape on the bed. “I can’t believe it.”

“I can show you, doll.”

He took your hand and grabbed the tape before leaving the room. He led you through the bunker until you reached the garage.

You let out a gasp of amazement as you saw a red car next to his Impala.

“Oh, my God, Dean.” You jumped up and down in joy as you walked over to your new car. “You did it? By yourself?”

“Of course I did.” He walked over to stand beside you. “You like it?”

“Do I? It’s the best Christmas present anyone’s ever given me.”

Dean obviously liked that comment. A smile appeared on his face. He really had tried hard to give you a good present.

“You know?” You bit your bottom lip, running a finger down your car before looking at Dean. “I think we should get it new.”

Dean’s mind was working in such a way that he understood your double meaning.

“Oh, I think so too, sweetheart.” He said as he left the tape on top of the car.

He didn’t even wait two seconds as he held you. You wrapped your legs around his hips and he opened the back door of the car, climbing in with you and leaving you on the seat face up. Your clothes quickly came off of your bodies.

“Baby, we'll get this car dirty before you even drive it.”

He entered you and you moaned loudly, your nails digging into his back and earning a growl from him as he started a steady pace, gaining satisfaction from checking out your expressions of pleasure. He buried his head in your neck and began nibbling on your skin.

“God, Dean, harder.”

He picked up speed, the car windows thickening as it swayed in rhythm with Dean’s thrusts.

“Merry fucking Christmas to me.” He mumbled as he pushed you deeper into the seat.

The car seats were starting to get damp beneath you in a mix of sweat and cum.

“You feel so good, Dean.” You sighed.

“Yeah? You like my cock in your pussy, baby?”

“Yes, I do.” You whimpered.

Your eyes rolled and you clenched around him as you came, sending him straight into his own orgasm and leaving his seed inside you, which slowly began to leak out and spread across the seats.

“God…” He huffed. “Merry Christmas, baby.” Dean whispered in your ear before placing a kiss there.

“Merry Christmas…”

Dean Winchester One Shots

Dean Winchester Masterlist

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[scary-grace]

(secret) santa, baby - part 9 of a shigaraki x f!reader fic

Shigaraki doesn't want to participate in the office's Secret Santa exchange, but when Toga promises to make it easy on him, he gives in. But making it easy for him makes it a lot harder for you -- you're the one who got his list. Office AU, no quirks. A fic in 12 parts. Divider by @ wcnderlnds

part i part ii part iii part iv part v part vi part vii part viii

part ix (snowed in)

When Tomura gets back to his desk, there’s a present waiting for him. Tomura’s Secret Santa doesn’t need REMEDIAL GIFT-WRAPPING, which means he can rule out anyone who was there as a suspect. Tomura peels open the wrapping paper and finds a pair of gloves – and a note. With the gifts, there’s always a note, and the notes have been getting longer. Whoever his Secret Santa is, they have more to say to him than they used to. Tomura’s weird enough that he likes the notes almost as much as he likes the gifts.

Dear Tomura, this one reads. I know I’m off-list again, but I saw these and they reminded me of you. A lot of the things I see remind me of you, but I think you’d be freaked out if I bought you most of them. I kind of want to ask Toga to ask you what you think of what you’ve gotten. If I’ve missed something obvious. Or if you’ve thought of other things you’d like since you made your list.

Tomura’s thought of other things, yeah. The problem is, he’s usually only thought of them after he’s opened a gift from his Secret Santa that has one of those things in it. Whoever his Secret Santa is, they’re good at this. Better than him, even if he knows how to wrap presents now. He keeps reading the note. I’d like to say I got the gloves in advance, but if I’m being honest, they’re extra. I saw the storm in the forecast and I thought about how cold it already gets down in the basement. I can think of better ways to keep your hands warm, but this is probably the most practical. Merry almost Christmas! Yours, your Secret Santa.

The gloves are lightweight when Tomura puts them on, but warm and soft on the inside – and they’re touchscreen gloves, so Tomura won’t have to take them off to use his tablet or his phone. They’re exactly right, just like all the other gifts Tomura’s Secret Santa has gotten him, but even as he folds the note and tucks it away in the same place he’s kept the others, he keeps getting stuck on the idea of other ways to warm his hands.

It’s fucking freezing in the basement, and it’s empty, even though it’s technically still work hours. Did everybody else just bail after the gift-wrapping thing?  If nobody else is here, Tomura’s not sticking around, either. He packs up his stuff and heads upstairs. Maybe he can get home before this storm or whatever it is kicks up in earnest. But when Tomura gets to the lobby, he finds out that he’s missed his window. The sky’s already darkened, and the parking lot is already covered in a layer of snow.

Tomura waited too long. If he hadn’t stuck around to wrap gifts with you – but even as he has the thought, he realizes that he doesn’t regret it even a little bit. It’s worth it, even if it means that he has to trudge through snow to the train station. You take the train home from work, too, don’t you? Tomura knows you had more work to do after the two of you finished the gifts. You told him so. What if you’re still here?

Your part of the office doesn’t have windows. Maybe you haven’t seen what the weather’s like. Tomura turns away from the front doors and heads back into the building to give you a heads-up.

You look surprised to see him, when he gets to your desk – but you aren’t unhappy. “Hey. Did you find, um – what are those?”

“The gloves? Secret Santa gift.” Tomura looks around your desk, trying to see if the gift he left you is anywhere. “Did you open yours?”

“Do you like them?”

“I’m wearing them.” If Tomura didn’t like them, he’d have put them in his desk and forgotten about them. He spots the stapled-shut paper bag he left for you this morning sticking out of your backpack. “Do you not like opening yours in front of people?”

“I was saving it so I’d have something to open tomorrow,” you say. “I heard somebody say that the office might be closed because of the storm.”

The snow. Right. There was a reason Tomura came up here, and it wasn’t just so he could see you again. “It’s already snowing. We should go now if we don’t want the trains to stop running on us.”

You look surprised. “You came to get me?”

“You take the train, too,” Tomura says. He doesn’t get why you’re looking at him like that. “We can walk together.”

“Okay,” you say. You smile at him, and Tomura’s face flushes badly enough that he actually considers covering it with his hands. “I’ll get my stuff.”

The weather looked bad when Tomura was just watching it through the doors, but once the two of you actually get out in it, Tomura realizes that it’s even worse than he thought. It’s the stupid wind. It keeps changing direction, blasting snow and ice crystals into his face no matter which way he looks, and the hood of his coat won’t stay up. His ears are freezing, even though his hair is covering them. It’s not a long walk to the train station, but Tomura knows he’ll have a splitting headache by the time he gets there.

“Here.” You’re wearing a hat and a scarf, and you take off the hat and offer it to Tomura. Tomura tries to say no, but you put it on him anyway, tugging it down over his ears. “I’m not the one who hates the cold.”

You’re right, but something about it strikes Tomura as weird. “How’d you know I hate the cold?”

“Everybody knows that.”

Tomura’s pretty sure everybody doesn’t. If they did, he’d get a lot more ironic let-it-snow shit from his friends around Christmas. There’s only one place you could have heard that, which means that you either know who his Secret Santa is – or it’s you. “Where did you hear that?”

“Sorry?” You’re rewrapping your scarf, pulling it up over your face. “Couldn’t hear you. The wind is really loud.”

The wind is loud and it’s getting worse. Tomura can ask you again once you’re at the train station and out of the weather. “Never mind. Let’s go.”

You and Tomura started out walking side by side. By the time you approach the train station, you’re walking pressed close together, your hand grasping Tomura’s arm, Tomura leaning into you as much as he can without falling over. Part of him feels stupid about it. You’re not fighting your way through a blizzard or something. The rest of him is too happy with it to care. His ears are warm and he’s wearing warm gloves that he got from his Secret Santa who might be you, and you decided you wanted to hold his arm without him doing anything. In spite of the weather, Tomura can’t count this as anything but a win.

The station platform is empty when you get there, and Tomura feels a hit of foreboding even before he sees that every arrival screen is flashing the same message. “Out of service?”

You fumble your phone out of your pocket, almost dropping it. “They just shut down. We missed it by five minutes.”

Fuck. “We can’t stay out here,” Tomura says, and you nod. You don’t have gloves. Your hands are shaking. “We should go back to the office.”

“They have to keep the heat on so the pipes don’t freeze,” you say. “And we can probably get the lights back on even if Maintenance turned them off.”

Tomura’s pretty sure Maintenance left before the two of you did. You were the last ones still in the building. Everybody else left because of the storm, and if Tomura had just left instead of going back to tell you, he’d have been on the last train home – and you’d have been stuck at the office in bad weather, by yourself. Tomura doesn’t like thinking about it. He doesn’t like thinking about it so much that even if he’d known for a fact that going back to get you would have meant he’d be snowed in with you, he’s sure he’d have gone anyway.

He waits for you to put your phone away, then grabs your hands in his gloved ones. “Do you want your hat back?”

“It looks better on you,” you say. There’s nothing on the planet that would look better on Tomura than on you, and Tomura almost says so, except the way you’re looking at him is enough of a distraction that he can’t get the words out in the right order. “Come on. Let’s get back before it gets worse.”

It’s already worse on the way back. There’s more snow on the ground and more ice crystals whipping around in the air, and Tomura’s shivering on every step. You aren’t walking with your hand on his arm anymore. This time you’ve got your arm wrapped around him, even though you’re shorter than he is, holding on tight as the two of you shuffle along. Tomura wants to get inside and out of the wind more than he’s ever wanted anything in his life. And at the same time, he’s dreading the second when you’ll let him go.

<- part viii part x ->

[theunsinkableship1]

DENIAL IS NOT A RIVER IN LUKOLALAND

⚠️DISCLAIMER: This is Lukolaland only. Skip if you don't believe.

Denial is a river in LUKOLALAND?

This has to be a joke, right? Some responses that I have received on my latest posts on TT and Tumblr leave me perplexed. Let me make something clear: I’m not here to convince anyone of anything. You have the right to believe whatever you want, that’s your prerogative. However, this is a Lukola space. It’s a space that exists to celebrate their connection, to nurture it from afar, because it shines brightly and is uniquely beautiful.

I don’t know them personally. I can only judge from what I’ve seen and heard, and I fully acknowledge that my perception is biased. My interpretations come from the way I read into their actions, their words, and their patterns. What I share here isn’t fact, it’s speculation based on observation. The only thing I know for sure is that I don’t know what’s really going on.

First and foremost, they are colleagues and FRIENDS. They’ve said that multiple times, and I believe them. For those who doubt their friendship, I don’t know what to tell you. That’s the foundation here. If you don’t even believe in their bond as friends, this probably isn’t the space for you.

But here’s where it gets complicated: they’re not just platonic friends. You may have missed it, but the signs are there, publicly available. You just need to pay attention. I’m not talking about outlandish theories; I’m talking about what’s right there if you’re willing to see it.

I believe they’re in love with each other. As for their current situation? I’m not certain. But the level of plausible deniability in their story doesn’t make sense to me. Maybe it does to you, but for someone who thinks in layers, patterns, double entendres, and undertones, someone who loves words and has studied communication and PR, this whole narrative is anything but straightforward.

Leaving this much space for misinterpretation is a choice. If they wanted to shut this down entirely, they could’ve done so with clarity and finality. It’s not that they can’t make themselves understood without being misconstrued, they absolutely can. But they haven’t.

It’s wise to keep a level of doubt, it maintains objectivity and prevents overreach. However, when coincidences stack up and patterns emerge, it becomes increasingly unlikely that they’re all mere misunderstandings or products of plausible deniability.

The more coincidences there are, the less likely they are to be unrelated.

On their own, one or two could easily be explained away, “just friends,” “PR,” or “fans reading too much into it.”

When similar themes arise repeatedly over months or years (e.g., their timing, shared themes, subtle nods to one another), the likelihood of them being mere coincidence diminishes.

The concept of plausible deniability hinges on actions that could be explained in multiple ways. However, the more layers of ambiguity and deniability built into their interactions, the more intentional it feels.

The subtleties of their public dynamic suggest a shared awareness of fan interpretations. They know how their actions are perceived. To repeatedly engage in behaviors that could be "misunderstood" suggests either: a) Intentional messaging within safe boundaries. b) A significant lack of care, which doesn’t align with how thoughtful and calculated they seem to be.

Take Nicola’s recent Times interview as an example. She could have ended all speculation right there,

“A lot of people really want me to marry Luke,” she says with a laugh. “We have this gorgeous friendship. We have such a love for one another and this experience that I’ll never have with someone else again. Isn’t it gorgeous that a man and woman can have that sort of relationship with one another?”

but she didn’t. Why? There must be a reason. And no, it’s not just PR. PR campaigns don’t operate on layers of plausible deniability that stretch across years, interweave with personal moments, and rely on such specific timing.

Isn’t it strange that for two people who have been so close, their social interactions have significantly decreased compared to before? Over the past two years, especially after the world tour, they appeared to have solidified a deep friendship. If the intent is to disengage fans from the idea that they might be secretly in love, wouldn’t it be wiser to interact more naturally and perhaps even acknowledge each other’s perceived partners?

From a strategic perspective, a like, a follow, or a simple interaction on social media could have gone a long way in dismantling the Lukola narrative. Such actions would feel natural for close friends, especially ones under public scrutiny. Their reluctance to adopt this approach only adds to the curiosity. Why not lean into a strategy that would be less detrimental and more effective at quelling speculation?

Perhaps they are more active on private social media accounts, but publicly, the absence of these gestures stands out. If the goal truly is to clarify their relationship and put fan theories to rest, this perceived distance feels counterproductive. The choice to refrain from such actions, at least for now, is, at the very least, curious. Could it be that there’s a reason they haven’t done so yet?

Both Luke and Nicola have had ample opportunities to firmly address and deny the Lukola narrative. While they’ve made passing comments about being friends, these have lacked the clarity and directness that would fully quash the speculation. Why leave the door ajar if they truly wanted to shut it?

Their reduced interactions seem to have coincided with the conclusion of the promotional period for Bridgerton. During promotions, they were actively engaging with each other and the fandom, fostering the image of a close bond. The sudden change afterward could indicate a deliberate decision to recalibrate public perceptions of their relationship.

The decrease in public interactions after the “papgate” could be their way of managing fallout from the incident, yet it raises questions: Why would two close friends need to distance themselves so noticeably? It suggests a calculated retreat to reduce speculation. However, this strategy seems counterproductive, as the abruptness of the change has drawn more attention. A gradual shift, paired with natural acknowledgments of their respective supposed personal lives, might have been more effective.

It’s possible they’re still VERY close privately but have chosen to limit their public interactions to avoid misinterpretation, or for privacy reasons. If so, this deliberate choice to create distance publicly could point to a deeper connection they’re trying to shield.

This brings us back to patterns. If you observe their public interactions, their timing, their word choices, the double meanings, they’re not random. These coincidences pile up to the point where it’s hard to believe they’re all meaningless. Their bond transcends the boundaries of PR, platonic friendship, or even ordinary relationships.

If you reason in layers, you’ll see it too. The amount of room they leave for interpretation is extraordinary. It’s not just about what they say, it’s about what they don’t say. It’s about the undertones, the pauses, the way they navigate questions, and even the things they choose to share (or not share) on social media. All of this seems to be deliberate. The picture is larger and more intricate than it seems on the surface.

For example: Am I truly supposed to believe that Nicola, who has a higher degree in English and a major grasp of language, would post a Scrabble board with so many elements that could be interpreted through a Lukola lens purely by coincidence? Yes, she’s an avid player of word games, but let’s examine the board itself. It reflects competent but not advanced gameplay, logical and adhering to Scrabble rules, yes, but lacking the level of complexity, strategy, and nuanced word choice you’d expect from someone of her linguistic caliber or from a player displaying their skill.

For me, this was never just about showing off her love of Scrabble. It felt intentional, like an intended message rather than a casual post. If the goal was simply to share her hobbies or an aesthetic moment, she could’ve easily posted a picture of herself playing Scrabble, perhaps with a pint of Guinness in hand. Or she could’ve showcased a more advanced board to reflect her skills or creativity. Instead, she chose this specific board with these specific words, words that align so conveniently with a narrative many of us have come to associate with Lukola.

And let’s not forget her self-awareness. Why would someone who knows how deeply her posts are analyzed by fans continue to share things that are repeatedly misconstrued? If she didn’t want the association, why add layers of ambiguity, such as the now infamous “the very demure, very mindful” quote? What was the reason?

Just two days ago, she posted a photo in her best of 2024 the phrase "if you know, you know." Let’s be honest, how many Lukola edits have we seen that riff of "when you know, you know"? If this wasn’t related to that, what exactly was the point of the “random” quote?  Is it public knowledge or is it something only some know? Nicola is anything but random on social media. She’s chronically online, she’s clever, and she’s incredibly aware of the narratives circulating around her.

These patterns, Scrabble boards, cryptic quotes, wordplay, and selective ambiguity, don’t feel accidental. They feel curated. For someone so skilled with words and communication, there’s intention behind these choices. If it were just for fun, she could have chosen countless other ways to express herself that wouldn’t leave so much room for interpretation. But she didn’t. And for me, that’s speaks volumes.

I’m mainly talking about Nicola here because there’s simply more material to analyze, her posts, interviews, and public interactions offer more clues and layers to unpack. However, Luke’s activity, or rather, his noticeable lack of activity, is equally intriguing and worth examining.

Luke has always been more reserved on social media compared to Nicola, but his recent silence or carefully curated posts stand out. He’s not just absent; he’s selectively absent. There’s a difference between being inactive and deliberately staying under the radar. For someone who previously shared glimpses of his personal life and participated more openly in fandom engagement, his current approach feels intentional.

When he does post, the content often seems neutral, leaning into professional promotion or generic life updates. Yet, the timing or lack of acknowledgment of certain things, whether related to Nicola or even his supposed personal relationships, leaves room for speculation. It’s almost as if he’s consciously avoiding feeding into narratives while simultaneously not shutting them down.

For instance, why hasn’t he addressed certain rumors head-on, as he has done in the past with other relationships? Luke has historically been upfront about his. It’s a choice.

Considering that Luke has been involved in other projects and worked with other co-stars since the end of the Bridgerton world tour, the ratio of content related to Nicola remains strikingly high. Among the limited glimpses he does share, Nicola accounts for the largest percentage of reposts and interactions. What’s even more telling is that the majority of this content is Lukola-focused, centered on his dynamic with Nicola as individuals, rather than strictly Polin-related, which would be tied to their characters and professional pairing. Yes, she is his MAIN co-star within the Bridgerton universe, but this level of engagement is noteworthy.

This isn’t to say he doesn’t appreciate or acknowledge his other co-stars; it’s just that the weight of attention, however subtle, consistently gravitates toward Nicola. Whether it’s the choice of what he reposts or the absence of comparable attention toward other colleagues, the pattern emerges loud and clear.

If we analyze this through a lens of probability and statistics, the numbers paint an even more intriguing picture. Let’s say Luke has worked with five to seven notable co-stars in other projects and in Bridgerton, if he has been tagged in or had the opportunity to engage with 100 pieces of social media content since the world tour. If Nicola accounts for, say, 60% of the interactions and reposts, despite being one of many co-stars, it defies the expectation of a more even distribution.

For context, if he were equally invested in all professional relationships, the engagement with Nicola might hover closer to 15-20%, proportional to the size of his broader network. The fact that this number is so much higher, let’s conservatively estimate at least three to four times greater raises questions. Is this simply because of their shared Bridgerton fame? Perhaps. But then why focus on individual Lukola moments, bypassing more neutral or inclusive Polin or broader cast content?

From a mathematical standpoint, the odds of this being purely coincidental diminish significantly when you layer in the context:

Nicola has the highest percentage of reposts across Luke's social media activity.

The type of content intimate, personal, or Lukola-specific reflects a curated choice, not random selection.

Even in a professional context, where Polin content would be the obvious promotional focus, the Lukola-centric moments shine through.

Given the numbers and probabilities, it seems less likely that this pattern is accidental or merely reflective of professional obligations. Instead, it suggests an intentionality that aligns with the depth and uniqueness of their connection.

Promotion for Bridgerton Season 3 has come to a halt, creating a quiet period where we can observe and compare how Luke approaches the promotion of his other projects.it could highlight how unique his dynamic with Nicola truly is.

The nature of the content he shares for other projects will be equally telling

By comparing these promotional efforts both in terms of frequency and tone to the patterns established during the Bridgerton promotional cycle, we could gain insight into whether his approach to Nicola was truly unique or simply part of his broader professional routine.

When coincidences pile up, their probability of being just coincidences shrinks dramatically. A single instance might be random, but repeated instances with similar themes, timing, and emotional undertones suggest a deeper meaning. While maintaining doubt is reasonable, the sheer volume of these moments suggests that there’s more at play than mere misunderstanding. It’s not about overreaching, it’s about acknowledging that where there’s consistent smoke, there’s likely some fire. What type of fire is there currently? I’m not sure. Are you? Probably an Eternal flame.

[devildomwriter]

You Go To See A Christmas Carol Part III

The show is about to begin and things might be settled, or they might be slowly getting worse.

Belphegor: “That was fun.”

MC: “I’m tired…”

Belphegor: “Me too.”

MC: “You’re always tired.”

Beelzebub: “Want some?”

MC: “That’s very sweet of you Beel but I don’t really feel like eating right now… anyway let’s just ask someone where the box we’re in is.”

Staff: “Your seats are right up those stairs there to your left.”

MC: “Thank you.”

Staff: “Anytime. Oh, by the way, do you happen to know the red-haired man in that area?”

MC: “Yes.”

Staff: “Please thank him again for me for his generous tip. I can finally pay off my student loans.”

MC: “Okay?”

Belphegor: “How much do you think he tipped her?”

MC: “I think he probably heard about her Student loans while he was here for three hours and looked up the average amount and gave it to her. Or he doesn’t know how tips work in America.”

Beelzebub: “I’m out of popcorn.”

MC: “Dammit not again.”

MC: “Belphegor, this is the spare card for house expenses, do not lose it. Go get your brother some popcorn or something.”

Belphegor: “Okay. Can you find the seats on your own?”

MC: “I’ll survive.”

Belphegor: “Not what I asked but okay.”

Diavolo: “Do you think everything is alright downstairs?”

Barbatos: “I’m sure we would have heard if anything were amiss.”

Lucifer: “….”

Diavolo: “Lucifer you’re looking awfully pale, can I get you anything?”

Lucifer: “Do you suppose that summoning a human across realms counts as human trafficking?”

Diavolo: “I beg pardon?”

Solomon: “Hahahaha! This sounds like a fun debate!”

Lucifer: “Just what I needed…”

Solomon: “It’s good to see you too Lucifer!”

Diavolo: “Barbatos did I kidnap MC?”

Barbatos: “There is a very big difference between an international crime and a surprise summoning.”

Diavolo: “Good. I was worried for a minute there.”

Leviathan: “Why did you suddenly bring that up anyway?”

Lucifer: “I just happened to overhear it when I called Asmo.”

Satan: “You overheard it? Is something bad happening downstairs?”

Lucifer: “I think…for once…this is MC’s fault…”

Mammon: “Why ya gotta blame MC?”

Lucifer: “MC made a joke that Diavolo kidnapped them.”

Diavolo: “Oh dear.”

Solomon: “That sounds like MC.”

Lucifer: “…”

Lucifer: “Solomon…what is that you’re holding?”

Solomon: “Oh this?”

Diavolo: “Oh no.”

Solomon: “There’s a bar around the corner downstairs.”

Lucifer: “I’ll be right back.”

Diavolo: “Ah, please wait.”

Leviathan: “He’s gone.”

Satan: “We tried.”

Simeon: “I bought some extra popcorn, does anyone want some?”

Diavolo: “Simeon! It’s good to see you here! Luke too!”

Diavolo: “I apologize for not extending the invitation to you three, I heard you had prior obligations.”

Simeon: “Yes, they fell through so Solomon looked into what you were doing and bought tickets.”

Solomon: “Oh I didn’t buy them.”

Simeon: “What?”

Solomon: “I know a few people.”

Simeon: “…How did you get these tickets Solomon.”

Solomon: “No one was hurt.”

Simeon: “Solomon…who’s tickets are these? Is this why we had to use fake names?”

Mammon: “You used fake names too? I got stuck with Matthew what’d you guys get?”

Simeon: “Arthur Carbunckle.”

Mammon: “Ahahahahahaha!”

Lucifer: “The sorcerer from Yorkshire?”

Solomon: “You know of him?”

Simeon: “I don’t like where this conversation is going. Where is MC? I thought they’d be here by now?”

MC: “You called?”

Everyone: “MC!”

Diavolo: “I kidnapped you?”

MC: “So you admit it.”

Diavolo: “What?”

MC: “I’m only teasing. Where did Lucifer go?”

Solomon: “The bar.”

MC: “Ugh who let him find out.”

Solomon: “Was it a secret?”

Simeon: “Well I think he needs it…it should all be fine.”

Solomon: “So has anyone seen this play before?”

Mammon: “Nope.”

Leviathan: “Never heard of it.”

Barbatos: “A few times.”

Satan: “I’ve read about it. I’m not sure how well they can adapt it to a live-action stage performance though.”

Diavolo: “I haven’t seen this rendition but I believe it will go excellently. This is supposed to be the best one there is.”

Luke: “Really! I had no idea it was so popular!”

Lucifer: “I’m back.”

Satan: “Is that beer?”

Lucifer: “And?”

Satan: “Nothing…”

MC: “Can I have some of that?”

Lucifer: “Later tonight.”

MC: “Never mind.”

MC: “Sooo…Diavolo… am I still allowed to sit next to you even though I made a stupid joke that got the cops called?”

Diavolo: “Hahahaha! We all make mistakes MC. Of course, you can sit by me.”

Mammon: “I call the other side—“

Lucifer: “Sit down, we already agreed on the seating.”

Mammon: “Come on, I took a beating earlier at least let me sit next to MC.”

MC: “Mammon sweetie are you okay?”

Mammon: “Wh-Huh? Y-yeah…”

Leviathan: “You were crying.”

Mammon: “Shut up.”

MC: “May the lingering traces of pain vanish from the demon before me, I am the sorcerer MC, obey me.”

Mammon: “…shit…I feel all better! That worked like magic MC!”

Solomon: “It is magic.”

Mammon: “I didn’t ask you.”

Luke: “Ooh the lights are flickering again!”

Simeon: “That means it’s time for us to be very quiet, okay Luke?”

Luke: “Ok. Can I have the popcorn now?”

Simeon: “Yes, I snuck in some juice too if you want it.”

Leviathan: “Ooo, the angel broke the rules. Did you hear that Lucifer?”

Lucifer: “Simeon can do what he wants.”

Simeon: “Thank you, Luci.”

Lucifer: “Do not call me that.”

Simeon: “I thought I could do what I want.”

Lucifer: “I’m getting a migraine.”

MC: “Okay guys, I love messing with the old man as much as anyone but I think we should all be quiet now, okay?”

Satan: “Fine.”

Mammon: “Got it.”

Leviathan: “Okay.”

Simeon: “Hehe.”

Solomon: “…one last question…where are Beelzebub, Belphegor, and Asmodeus?”

MC: “…umm…Belphegor has the house’s spare credit card.”

Lucifer: “What?”

MC: “He’s getting some snacks with Beel.”

Lucifer: “…and Asmo?”

MC: “Man is living his best life.”

Lucifer: “What does that mean exactly?”

MC: “I can’t tell you within earshot of Luke.”

Lucifer: “What? With who!? How did he even find the time to—“

Barbatos: “Calm down Lucifer, everything will be fine, won’t it MC?”

MC: “Yeah, he got rid of the cops he’s doing us a favor.”

Luke: “The police?”

Lucifer: “He’s….with the police….”

Diavolo: “…”

Mammon: “Ahahahahaha! That’s one way to handle it!”

Satan: “The lights are dimming everyone shut up and eat your popcorn.”

Belphegor: “Hey guys, did we miss anything?”

MC: “Shhh.”

Belphegor: “Okay. Beel sit over there.”

Beelzebub: “Okay.”

Belphegor: “Oh hey it’s the Chihuahua.”

The theatre is completely silent, not even murmurs in the crowd. The only thing that echoed off the walls before the play began was the loud protests of a child, “I’m not a Chihuahua.”

Luke blushed as the audience laughed and then the director walked on stage.

Director: “Ladies…gentlemen…chihuahuas…”

Mammon: “BAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!”

Leviathan: “Pft! Lolololol Luke, you’re a legend!”

Luke: “Grrrrrrr.”

The crowd laughed and quickly silenced as he raised his hands and gave credit to everyone involved in the production, prop art, acting, and orchestra.

Mammon: “Man, lotta people went into this, huh?”

Lucifer: “Yes, so don’t mess it up.”

Mammon: “Why me?”

Lucifer: “This play is practically about you.”

Mammon: “Huh?”

Belphegor: “Pft!”

Satan: “He’s…right actually.”

Mammon: “Huh? Ain’t this about a grumpy old man or somethin’ sounds more like Lucifer!”

Lucifer: “Shut up or I’ll punch you.”

Mammon: “Ow! Give me the chance to stop first!”

MC: “Everyone shut up, that’s an order.”

Mammon: “Eep!”

Lucifer: “Gh!”

Barbatos: “Thank you MC.”

[The play begins with an old man standing over a coffin. He steals the coins from the dead man’s eyes.]

Mammon: “Why the fuck would ya bury money, that just makes sense.”

Satan: “I can never see Scrooge the same way again…”

[In the next scene, he counts money in his office while his assistant freezes from the lack of coals for a fire as they are a needless expense.]

Mammon: “Counting money, this guy gets it.”

Luke: “Simeon I’m a little worried about Mammon…”

Simeon: “Well, maybe this play will set him straight.”

Solomon: “If it doesn’t, I know a few ghosts willing to help out.”

Mammon: “What are you guys whispering about back there.”

Solomon: “Oh nothin’.”

Mammon: “Really, ‘cause your smile is freaking me out?”

[The man’s nephew comes to visit, wishing his uncle a merry Christmas but the man rejects the sentiment.]

Mammon: “What the hell, ain’t that his nephew?”

Luke: “I think it’s working.”

Simeon: “Don’t jinx it.”

Luke: *nods*

[The man returns home alone when suddenly things move about around him flying across the stage.]

Mammon: “How the hell are they doin’ that?”

Satan: “Wires and magnets probably.”

Mammon: “Better not be a real ghost.”

Solomon: “Don’t tempt me.”

Mammon: “What does that mean?”

[The ghost of the man’s dead friend and former business partner, Marley appears and warns the man that because of his greed, he is doomed to wander the earth weighed down by chains. ]

Mammon: “Pft, ghosts can’t get chained up. …Right?”

[Marley warns the man that three ghosts will be coming to visit him and he leaves. The man faints but awakens just before the first ghost arrives.]

Luke: “Wow it’s glowing.”

Mammon: “That thing gives me the creeps.”

Belphegor: *sneaking up on Mammon*

Belphegor: “Boo.”

A shrill scream sounds in the theatre making many audience members jump. As professionals, the actors do not acknowledge the disturbance or the thud that followed it.

Mammon: “That hurt. That wasn’t even my fault.”

MC: “Belphie, quiet.”

Belphegor: “Fine.”

Diavolo: “Thank you, MC.”

MC: “Don’t mention it.”

[The ghost brings the man to his childhood days, and then to his apprenticeship with a man named Fezziwig. Finally to when he met his beloved, Belle, and when she broke their engagement because his lust for money was too much.]

Mammon: “…”

MC: “…”

Lucifer: “…”

Luke: “It’s working…”

Solomon: “Shh.”

[Scrooge is returned to bed at last, after shedding remorseful tears. Finally, the next ghost arrives, a gentle giant representing the Christmas of the present.]

The curtains draw for intermission.

Previous • Next

[writteninthebinds]

Teach Me

A Jayvik fic - part two

Word-count: 2256

Summary: Jayce teaches Viktor how to dance. Things get a little heated.

Warnings: This is pretty tame. A little nsfw dialogue at the end that alludes to part three.

Notes: I really love this. This is technically part two but you can read it on its own. You can find and read part one on my page. I didn’t put near the same amount of effort into part one, so I might even go back and update it sometime soon. I’ll create a list where you can find them all together too. It’s currently 5am, haven’t slept and I won’t be able to sleep if I don’t post this now, so I apologize if there’s mistakes lol. I’ll edit them when I wake up again. 🫶🏼 you guys.

“Oh, but there is no music,” Viktor musters with pause, like a last-minute thought. Like he didn’t fully think through asking Jayce to teach him how to dance. Here, alone, in his room for the night. Viktor stands towards the end of the large king-sized bed, navy-colored sheets with gold stitching. His cane is tucked into his side, eyes on Jayce, who’s still standing in front of the double doors leading to the balcony.

Jayce is luminated from behind. The glow of the party lanterns below casting warm shadows into the night sky and their -  Viktor’s room.

“We shouldn’t need any,” Jayce promises as he steps further in. He’s still taking in the room, the colors and warm ambient lighting, when he focuses back on Viktor. For a split second, he stands there looking unsure, doubtful or perhaps even regretful for asking Jayce.

Something akin to dedication and reverence rakes its way across Jayce’s bones. Deep in his marrow. He wants to erase any trace of unease from Viktor’s body and mind.

Taking a few long strides, Jayce moves to a small coffee table in the room. Sly smirk painted across his lips, hands already deep within his pockets, searching, he says, “You get the steps right, I give you more of these.”

Confusion clouds Viktor’s face. Eyebrow quirked, nose slightly scrunched, until he looks down. Jayce litters the tabletop with sweets. The same candy he stole earlier. Viktor’s favorite. A laugh is shoved from Viktor’s chest as handfuls are dropped. He watches in awe, in surprise. Jayce can’t tell which, though he decides right then and there that he’ll do anything to keep that look of wonder and mischief on Vik’s face.

“Jayce.”

Viktor laces his name with muted laughter and accusation, really failing to look upset in the slightest. 

“Don't. Don’t give me that. You’re lucky I didn’t grab the crystal dish they were sitting in. Would’ve been easier to carry all night. Been weighing down my pockets,” Jayce rambles.

Set ablaze from the joy on Viktor’s face, he’s moving faster again, not overthinking every move. He gets excited. Jayce knows this. His words and actions speed up, excitement bubbling in his chest. Enhanced by Viktor.

He's still going, Jayce. Still talking, still moving, until a slight breeze pours cool air down his back. It’s then Jayce pauses. His suit jacket is already halfway down his arms, resting in the crooks of his elbows. He wasn’t thinking. Why would he take off his jacket just to dance? Is it weird? Does Viktor think so?

No.

Jayce watches as Viktor stands there rolling up his own sleeves so causally. He doesn’t stop, still folding the fabric. He only looks up at Jayce when he’s been quite for a little too long. And Viktor just smiles. Easy and cool. Like a lazy creek. It soothes Jayce, like the most expensive balm one could buy.

“Alright,” Jayce explains as he shucks off his jacket the rest of the way, “the Waltz. It’s a simple box step.”

He closes the distance between them. His nerves are only settled for so long, until he comes to stand in front of Viktor. Until he realizes, they both can’t lead.

A smug smile tugs at the corner of Viktor’s mouth. He doesn’t wait for Jayce to voice what he can clearly read written on his face. Confident as always, he grabs Jayce’s hands. Hosting their right and left into the air, clasped together, and guiding Jayce’s right to his back. Viktor whispers, “You lead. I will follow.”

That stirs something within Jayce. Deep in his gut. A pit buried and nestled behind his belly button, and Viktor’s dipping his fucking fingers in.

He feels the back brace beneath Viktor’s black shirt, firm under his open palm. Jayce wants more. To feel more. He looks good in black. Fuck.

The feeling of Viktor’s hand coming to a rest on his shoulder shakes Jayce from his thoughts.

“We’re essentially mirroring one another’s steps, in the shape of a box. Each step is a corner,” Jayce describes. His hands are still on Viktor when he realizes he probably should’ve shown him the steps first, with more space between them. He steps away to demonstrate.

They walk through it slowly. One step at a time. Apart and then together again. Jayce gets lost. It might look like he’s letting Viktor work through the stumbling steps on his own, but no, he’s just lost. In Viktor.

Jayce in time relaxes. His right hand splays broader on Viktor’s back, covering so much space. His thumb trailing the line of his spine through the brace. He wants to feel skin. Their palms are slick with sweat, Viktor’s fingers tightening against his hand and shoulder with each misstep.

“Viktor,” Jayce speaks, “eyes on me.”

Instantly Viktor is there, grip still tight and honey amber eyes fixed on his face with determination. A bit of annoyance. Jayce smiles softly. He finds it endearing. Viktor’s intent to learn. Though now Viktor doesn’t respond, doesn’t return to the steps either.

A beat of silence. Then –

“How do you suppose I learn if I am not looking?” Viktor sputters, frustration etched into his features like Jayce asked him for something impossible. It only fuels Jayce’s adoration. Laughing, he pulls away gently, fingertips lingering, and walks over to the small table.

“You’ve done exceptional,” Jayce says as he swipes two pieces of chocolate. He walks back over to Viktor, unwrapping the fudge himself and holding the foil flat for Viktor to pick off of. Even more melted than before, fudge and peanut butter coat the foil, smudging their skin.

“The only exceptional thing I’ve achieved is not breaking any of your toes,” Viktor muses. Joking, but still frustrated. Viktor finishes eating, slipping his thumb into his mouth, ridding it of any left-over fudge.

Jayce finishes his own, tucking the trash into his pocket to deal with later. Busying himself, Jayce stares at Viktor’s feet, partly thinking and partly looking anywhere else that is not Viktor’s mouth. He replays the steps in his mind, imagines Viktor’s brace. Even though he can’t see it now he remembers its design, the mechanics.

While he didn’t lie to Viktor at all, he can understand the hiccups due to the brace. The small steps forward aren’t so much the issue as the side steps and going backwards. Viktor’s leg brace was built for stability. Rigid and sturdy, not for flowing movements. Counterbalancing his weight without his cane is also new.

“Take off your shoes,” Jayce declares. It stops Viktor mid sentence, going on again about Ms. Ellis and when she’ll notice the missing bowl of sweets. He stands there frozen and perplexed. Jayce doesn’t give him a chance to question.

He kicks off his own, and then drops to his knees. Jayce slips the ties of Viktor’s dress shoes loose easily, letting him hold onto his shoulder as his heels slide out.

Perhaps the chocolate has gone to Jayce’s head.

“Now what?” Viktor ask once their both standing again, facing each other, amusement and sarcasm replacing his confusion. They’re both in their socks. Feet sinking into the plush carpet, Jayce takes a step forward, and another.

“Wanted to try something. You’re gonna have to be closer this time though,” Jayce explains. He crowds into Viktor’s space. His right hand reaching forward with confidence, with the excuse that it’s for the dance. Viktor doesn’t hesitate, slipping back into the familiar stance. Until -

“Now, place your feet onto mine,” Jayce explains.

Now Viktor hesitates.

Looking up from the floor, amber eyes on hazel, Viktor says nothing. He just looks at Jayce intently. A moment passes, thick with tension. And in another moment, Viktor drops their clasped hands, grabbing Jayce’s other shoulder.

It shouldn’t be as intimate as it feels. The soft arch of his feet. A shutter shouldn’t rack its way down Jayce’s body as Viktor’s sock covered feet slide onto his.

It’s closer than Jayce thought. Both of Viktor’s hands now rest higher up Jayce’s shoulders. Instinctively, his left found Viktor’s waist, holding him steady as he found his balance and a comfortable position. Just as he settles, looking back to Jayce directly, soft music drifts in from the balcony. The party outside.

Jayce nearly forgot. The sea of people outside, mingling and some dancing themselves. Though Jayce would never trade spots with any of them. Money, power, spotlight. He’s content here. Alone with Viktor, in the sanctity of this room. A new song begins downstairs. Jayce’s cue to start moving.

He moves with a little more effort, the weight of Viktor comforting more than anything though. Gliding across the carpet Jayce starts with a formal Waltz. Poised and perfect. Long strides. He even adds in the turns. He wants Viktor to feel it, the grace of a Waltz you’d perform in front of the eyes of those downstairs.

But here, with Viktor, he shortens his steps soon. Because that is not them. He doesn’t feel the pressure to be perfect in Viktor’s arms. They’re more than fancy parties and the “right way” to dance. He wants Viktor to know he can have it all, that Jayce will show him everything, but that most of all, any way is perfect as long as it’s them. Together.

Before long, they’re simply turning softly, swaying. Moves Viktor could easily do and yet his feet never leave Jayce’s.

“Thank you,” Viktor breathes. The words are spoken lowly enough between them that Jayce barely registers it. Lost again. Jayce hums in response. He can’t do words at the moment.

Viktor’s body has drifted even closer. Jayce thinks if he takes a deep enough breath, their chests might brush together. But right now, it’s Viktor’s hands. Venturing from his shoulders to the nape of his neck, Viktor’s fingers graze against the longer strands of Jayce’s grown out hair. It sends goosebumps erupting, racing across his skin.

“What may I do for you in return? For all of this, tonight?” Viktor ask, his voice different now. Still sweet, still rich, but lower. Jayce understands right then that Viktor reminds him of syrup. His voice specifically. Aged and pure. Sticky sweet and slow. Thick and consuming.

Jayce smiles, responds, “The fudge, remember?”

“No,” Viktor muses, “something else.”

“Teach me something.”

Jayce can’t even regret it, once it’s past his lips and out of his mouth. Words thrown out like a curveball in slow motion. He meant it sincerely. Jayce taught him something, why not offer the same in return?

It came out heavy though. Flirty. Loaded with innuendo due to the slight draw of Jayce’s voice now.

“Like what?” Viktor inquires. It’s this moment Viktor’s fingers, warm and soft, fully slide into Jayce’s hair at the base of his skull. Jayce bites his tongue, and everything he wants to say back.

How to touch you. How to kiss you. How to ask for that from you. Fuck.

Jayce says nothing. He knows though. Viktor knows. Has always been able to read Jayce’s thoughts. Can read it all over his face too, and in the steel look in his eyes.

There is only a beat, soft, before Viktor’s grip tightens in his hair, ripping a gasp from Jayce.

Before he can breathe in again, Viktor’s mouth finds his. Warm. Soft. Their chest fully pressed together now. Jayce’s lungs burn for a full breath, but he doesn’t relent. Neither of them do. He only needs Viktor. To breathe him in.

His arms wrap fully around Viktor’s waist, pulling him in tighter, hands roaming his back now. Their tongues meet and that pit in Jayce’s belly turns molten. A sound Jayce doesn’t want to admit to escapes as Viktor brings a hand around to his face, nails scrapping through his bread. They break apart.

“Jayce,” Viktor rasp.

Jayce doesn’t give him a chance. Driven by need and Viktor’s wrecked tone. Knowing he made him sound like that, he dives back in, erasing the smile from Viktor’s face. Jayce licks behind his teeth, tasting champagne and chocolate, and just - Viktor.

Viktor’s nails scratch his jaw again, venturing lower. His other hand still drags through Jayce’s hair. Things become slower. Hands still roaming, squeezing, pulling. They stand still though. No longer swaying, Jayce’s feet are going numb and tingly beneath them, and he couldn’t care less.

Languid strokes of their tongues draw out more and more sounds. Jayce is distracted. Drowning and loving it. Drinking Viktor in by the lungful. It’s why he doesn’t see it coming.

Another tight grip in his hair, accompanied this time by Viktor’s other hand wrapped around his throat too, squeezing as Viktor sinks his teeth into Jayce’s bottom lip.

“I – unnf.”

Jayce groans, best he can with the way Viktor has his neck cranked back, fingers tightening around his throat.

“Tell me, Jayce. Tell me what you want to learn,” Viktor all but purrs.

He leans in, not going back to fully kissing him but licking across and into Jayce’s open mouth. Like he can’t stop himself either. Like Viktor, too, is fueled by desire, too hungry to wait for a response.

Jayce is weak. Weak when it comes to Viktor. Viktor’s wet mouth and hard touch. He sticks his own tongue out, meeting anywhere Viktor will allow him a taste. He only answers when Viktor pulls back once again.

He pants like a dog. Whines, only a little.

“Teach me how to suck cock.”

[apomaro-mellow]

Previous part

Read on AO3

The first month, Jason didn’t notice much of a change. There was something…off about his wife’s scent, but he tried not to smell his wife too much. Since their last coupling proved successful and Steve was finally with child, he was set to see the doctor once a week. Jason had no need to attend these appointments. Steve was able to come and go as he pleased, his stomach had yet to grow to be an obstacle. And every time he returned, he came with good news.

Jason didn’t think weekly doctor visits were entirely necessary, but he was not a man of medicine. And if there was one thing he appreciated, it was how happy and satisfied Steve seemed now. He no longer whined after him like a bitch in heat, for one thing. He seemed content in his hobbies now and rarely bothered Jason at all. It was such a shame then, that they had to take a trip that kept them away from Dr. Munson for two whole months. 

But it couldn’t be helped. They had to go and visit with his parents and they lived in the country. And his mother wouldn’t let them go until she was certain the city wouldn’t be harmful to the baby. 

Steve was fretting the entire way back home and the moment they returned, he went to his room. Jason left him to it, settling in the sitting room with a drink and only got curious when he saw that Steve seemed preparing to leave again.

“Where are you going? Sun’s nearly down”, Jason said.

“I haven’t seen a doctor in weeks”, Steve said. He had changed from his traveling dress to something more fresh.

Jason frowned. “Are you unwell?”

“Not that I can feel, but this is a delicate process, husband. I might feel fine, but the pup could be affected by the trip.”

“Will the doctor even still be in at this hour?”

“He’ll be tending to me in his home. He has the proper tools there as well.”

Jason took a sip of his drink and leaned against the railing of the stairs. “He is a good doctor, isn’t he?”

“Indeed”, Steve smiled.

“Madame, the carriage is ready.”

“Thank you, George.”

“What time shall I expect you home?”, Jason asked.

“I shall return for dinner, though I may be a bit late. If I straggle, don’t wait on me dear”, Steve urged. He gave Jason a parting kiss on the cheek, then donned his hat before leaving.

The sun was already behind the trees. And Eddie had already told him that if he needed him at a late hour, to go straight to his abode. Steve had never been to the Munson residence before. It was quite quaint and modest. He was well equipped with house staff and one opened the door for him, telling him that the doctor would be home soon.

When Eddie returned home, he could smell traces of the lovely Mrs. Carver the moment he entered. Peaches dominated the omega’s scent, but now there was a creamy element to it. The sweetness of being pupped up. He came upon Steve, fluffing and re-fluffing pillows on the couch.

“You haven’t made your nursery nest yet”, he surmised.

Steve turned, dropped the pillow back onto the couch and rushed into Eddie’s arms. His true mate and the real sire of his pup. He scented him without abandon and Eddie let him. His staff knew how to make themselves scarce and how to keep secrets.

“Are you still wearing a corset?”, Eddie asked, looking down at his torso.

Steve blushed. It was a bold question, whether from a lover or a physician. But he nodded. Pregnancy was no reason to get sloppy with his appearance.

“It’s not good for the babe, love. Let’s get you into something more comfortable.”

That something more comfortable ended up being a maternity dress, colored in a soft purple. When Steve reappeared in it, Eddie sank to his knees and nuzzled his growing belly, releasing a gentle rumble. 

The months passed and when Steve wasn’t going to the clinic, he was visiting the doctor in the evening. Jason couldn’t argue with the results. Steve grew each day and was already fond of their unborn seed. But he was beginning to grow suspicious. It was true that having a child was supposed to ease hysteria. And Steve no longer held any traces of it. But he seemed to have become completely disinterested in Jason.

Before, Steve trailed after him, asking about his day, his workings, his family, all but kneeling at his feet for attention, emotionally and physically. Now, Steve awakened with him, kissed him on the cheek and then went off to…well to do something, Jason wasn’t entirely sure what he got up to in the house when we went off to work. They still had dinner most nights but where Steve had once gazed at him, hungry for his eyes and the news of the day, he now kept himself occupied with his food.

Sometimes he even brought reading material to the table and wasn’t that just an insult! Jason cleared his throat and felt his blood heat when Steve didn’t look up from the book he was reading. Jason cleared his throat again, louder this time.

“Yes dear?”, Steve replied, eyes meeting his.

“What did Dr. Munson say about the baby?”

Steve smiled. “Healthy and well. And due in spring. Isn’t that wonderful?”

“Yes. Quite wonderful. You’ve become quite familiar with him.”

“The pup?”

“The doctor”, Jason deadpanned. “How long have you been on a first name basis?”

“Since your commendation, I suppose. All of his clients call him by first name eventually, he can be very informal.”

“I’ve been getting that impression.”

Steve went back to his reading, taking bites between pages. Jason spent time after that, watching him closely. His wife had changed into a completely different person and it had all begun with that doctor. Jason would decide whether he liked it or not once he figured out why it had happened. And of course, he shared these worries with someone he had confided in long before Steve.

Hortense charged a pretty penny, but she was good at what she did. Which was doing the jobs that were too much for a wife to complete. Using her body in ways that were improper for a woman of reputation. She was not just a bedwarmer, but an ear to the problems of her clients.

“You’re an omega”, Jason said one night after a coupling. “Is such a switch possible?”

“You said yourself that your wife was suffering from hysteria. Are you not happy that the suffering has ended?”

“But why? Is can a child make someone change so quickly?”

“In my experience, such a switch typically comes because their needs are being met elsewhere.”

“Steve wouldn’t. He hungers only for my knot.”

“Only yours?”, Hortense urged. She had no horse in this race. If Mrs. Carver was unfaithful, it was of no matter to her. Mr. Carver would come to her so long as he had the money to. If he left an unsatisfied wife at home, it was none of her business.

That got Jason to thinking. Was Steve no longer chasing after him because he was trailing after another?

----------------------

Steve could tell something was on Jason’s mind, but he didn’t care. He was having a pup with an alpha who cared for him. No, not just that, loved him. It was clear in the moments outside their passionate nights. It wasn’t just that Steve went to his house to roll in his bed. They talked. More in the months that they’d known each other than the years he and Jason had been married.

He learned that outside of medicine, Edgar had a love of literature, something he had passed on to Steve. Steve told him how he’d longed for children. He yearned for it so much, he’d readily accepted the Carver’s proposal because Jason was a well known tomcat. Steve had thought with marriage, his visits to the brothel would stop and his attentions would turn to his wife. 

But Jason continued to go out at least twice a week, leaving Steve alone. He didn’t have to care about that anymore though. Not when he had Eddie. He was coming over today in fact.

Jason was at work and Eddie had the day off. Steve was six months into his pregnancy and he felt it as he came down the stairs.

“Mrs. Carver, you should be in bed”, Eddie said as he entered the house, removing his coat and hat.

“I had to greet you at the door, Doctor, it’s only polite.” He was wearing another maternity dress, this one in red.

“Disregarding your physician in the name of propriety? Now what would your husband think if I allowed you to keel over under my watch?” Eddie met Steve at the bottom of the stairs. He turned him right around and started back up while ordering a maid to bring refreshments to the nursery. It would be his first time seeing the accommodations made for his future pup in the Carver residence.

When Steve showed it to him, he wasn’t surprised at the lack of warmth. The crib was very lavish. And the rocking chair in the corner looking very comfortable, cushioned pillow already in place. But it missed the mark. Eddie’s arm was around Steve’s waist as he took it in.

“In my professional opinion, this pup will want for very little.” 

And he knew this because Steve had already built a true nursery nest in his home. The maid came up with a tray and left it there. Eddie closed the door behind her and only once they were completely alone did he fully embrace Steve. He nuzzled his neck, covered by his collar but right where Jason had bitten him on their wedding night. Eddie always gave special attention to his bite. It was a clear challenge to the one who had left the mark and it made Steve’s heart thump every time. 

Eddie kissed him soundly on the lips and then led him over to the rocking chair.

Somehow, having Eddie buried underneath his skirts made his ministrations all the more mind melting. 

When Jason entered his home, he was none the wiser to the fact that Dr. Munson’s head was deep between his wife’s legs. He thought he heard something and went upstairs to investigate. He opened the door in time to see the doctor kneeling before his wife, hem pulled up to Steve’s knees.

“Jason!”, Steve gasped, scandalized.

“My apologies!”, Jason slammed the door shut with himself on the other side. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen Steve’s upper calf before bedtime. 

When the door opened again, it was by Dr. Munson, who smiled warmly. Jason didn’t return his smile.

“You’re home early dear”, Steve said, still sitting in the chair.

“So I am. I didn’t realize the good doctor would be visiting.”

“Mrs. Carver wanted me to see the nursery”, Eddie said. “He values my opinion very much.”

“You deal in nurseries now as well”, Jason looked him up and down.

“I deal in many a thing, Mr. Carver. And I am always available for my best patient”, Eddie turned to smile at Steve.

Again, Jason felt like he was being mocked. “A jack of trades. You know what they say about that.”

“I assure you, I’m a master of one or two things.” Eddie winked before excusing himself. Only then did Steve jolt up to escort him to the door. “Don’t strain yourself, Mrs. Carver. As a matter of fact, you should be in bed as often as possible.”

---------------------

Steve realized he had been distancing himself from Jason because for the first time in a long while, his husband reached out for him. Steve was seven months pregnant. He spent as much time as possible horizontal. He was lying on a chaise, a pamphlet in his hand. Debates were going on about the rights of omegas and it had piqued his interest. That was where Jason found him.

“We should go on a trip. Just the two of us.”

Steve looked up at him. That was one thing that was different between Edgar and Jason. His Eddie was always kneeling before him, either to be on the same level or at his feet. Jason was always looking down on him.

“A trip? In this condition?” Steve couldn’t believe he had two months left of this. To travel when he felt full to bursting, what was his husband thinking?

“My mother was right about the city, it’s not the best air for you. And the pup”, he said, almost like an afterthought. “We’re going to the sea.”

“The sea?” Steve almost raised his voice then. They were in the thick of a frigid February and he wanted to go to the coastline?

It wasn’t until they arrived at their destination (a house that Steve’s family kept at the coast), that Steve realized this was an isolation tactic. He’d barely had time to tell Eddie and when he did, Eddie slipped a small vial to him.

“Just in case, my love. If it is between yourself and that man, please, choose yourself.”

Steve didn’t ask what it was. The less he knew, the better. It was on their third night that Jason showed his true colors. They were both reading, sitting across the room from each other. Thunder roared outside.

“I think it’s time we talked about our marriage.”

Steve looked up. Lightning flashed by the window. “What do you mean?”

“Do you know why I married you?”

“...Because…our sires both wished it. You were to inherit the Harrington land and assure its upkeep. I was to provide the Carvers with an heir. Which I have.”

“Is the pup mine?”

Steve heard either thunder or his heart. He swallowed. “Who else could it possibly be?”

“You’re not the type to run around. But you could be led astray-”

“You’re talking about me? You go out every other night to the harlots of-”

“At least Hortense is loyal to me. She has been a confidant and a friend and I know if I were to marry her-”

Steve cut him off with a bark of laughter. Not only was it loud, it was the most uncouth bout of laughter that he’d ever shown his husband. Eddie made him laugh like a child in private. This was more biting.

“Hortense?” Steve, like the other wives, knew where their husbands went in the night. Knew who they spent these nights with. It was an unspoken agreement. The streets took care of their husbands’ needs but they always came home to lay their seed with their wives and carry on the line. Steve knew Hortense was too smart to give up her business, her independence, just to become Jason’s wife.

“You sound like you know her”, Jason leaned back in his chair.

“I know her work. Jason, my dear, I know she takes care of you. But what will people say if you marry a woman like that?”

“They will say it’s an improvement. From an amateur whore to a professional.”

Steve snapped his book closed and did his best to stand with some grace. His belly made it less easy than it would have normally been. “I’m going to bed. Perhaps your sense will return to you in the morning.”

Jason followed Steve as he stormed out, grabbing his wrist just as he began to ascend the stairs. For a terrifying second, Steve thought he might pull him down, make him crash onto his front. His free hand went to his pup and he cried out. Where was his alpha? His true mate? The one who would protect him?

“Do not forget yourself. The only reason I’ve yet to slit your unfaithful throat is that baby. The moment it is born, I am returning you to your parents.” Then Jason all but threw Steve’s arm from him. “Disgraceful.”

Jason stomped back to the other room and Steve rushed upstairs. He went to his luggage and pulled out the vial. He held it to his chest. He thought about his child. A little, innocent babe, growing up either in a loveless home, never knowing the truth of their father. Or worse, never knowing their mother because Steve was either trapped in his childhood home or deep under ocean waves.

For the first time, he dreaded Jason coming to bed. He stayed up all night, waiting for it. When the sun rose on another dreary day, Steve felt just a little bit of relief. But his resolve had only strengthened as the hours went on. He hadn’t let go of Eddie’s gift all night. He got out of bed, dressed for the day and made tea for himself and his husband.

Steve returned to the city alone.

-------------------------

People held great sympathy for the Widow Carver. To be so young and to lose a husband so suddenly. And with a child on the way. It was a miracle he didn’t lose the pup in his grief. Thankfully, he had his trusted physician, who moved to stay with Mrs. Carver full time. He was there, morning, noon, and night, to care for Steve.

And just as predicted, come spring, he welcomed a beautiful baby girl. Louise was the apple of Steve’s eye. Of course, Steve was still wearing the color of mourning, even when giving birth. When it was over and the small, secret family was alone, Eddie pressed a kiss to both of their foreheads.

“You’re a vision in all black, my love.”

“Please, I know I’m a mess”, Steve protested weakly.

“From the exertion of bringing a new soul into this world. Like a goddess of life and death.”

Those that visited observed that Steve stayed true to his mourning. He kept wearing all black (which happened to be Eddie’s favorite color) and rarely left his home (why would he with a new pup to tend to?). All the time that Dr. Munson spent, looking after the widow, it surprised very few people when he officially asked for Steve’s hand in marriage.

Some even praised him, saying how charitable he was to offer such a thing and take in a widow and an orphan. Eddie was more than happy to do it. Some would even say eager. Steve wore black at their wedding as well. It was just barely a year after Jason’s untimely passing, after all. 

“Will you ever go back to work?”, Steve asked one day. Louise scuttled on the floor between them.

“Well, I’m set to inherit both the Carver and Harrington fortunes. I dare say I won’t have to work another day in my life.”

Louise babbled and Eddie got on the floor to be on the same level as her. “I could spend the rest of my days just watching you, little fig.”

Steve didn’t know happiness like this was possible. A husband who both loved and desired him, a pup to dote on. And all thanks to one fateful trip to the doctor’s.

Hortense only noticed a slight dip in her earnings for about a week before she found someone to fill in Jason’s spot.

[bubbipond]

Bison had no intention (in the beginning) of being with Kant just as much as Kant/Style had/have no intentions of being with Fadel/Bison. Now this is just my opinion, and in no way, am I trying to be condescending (since I’ve gotten that before when I have made analysis posts). In a general sense, if you are easily defensive, maybe reading people’s opinions is not for you. But if you want to read because you like to read other people’s thoughts, enjoy. ❤️

I am going to use *10 Things as my reference because I think it leans more towards that adaption than it does *Taming. If you haven’t read Taming or watched 10 Things, this may help you understand what a lot of the fandom talks about. For those who have watched or read either of the references for THK we know that the story is that Kat (Fadel) is the impossible sister who will never marry, and that Bianca (Bison) is the sister that everybody wants. In order to get both of his daughter’s married, their father decides to make it a rule that the only way Bianca can get married is if Kat gets married. This leads to the plot of manipulating Kat into being “Tamed” by her love interest in the original text (the movie moves away from this and instead has Patrick love her for who she is).

Going back to Bison, his character reflects that of Bianca; the very popular, beautiful, and wanted little sister (brother). The thing that I think some people are getting wrong about Bison is that he is more of a loverboy than he actually is. In the movie adaption, Bianca has no intention of ever being with Cameron. I’d say she’s not even that into Joey either, just wants the popularity dating him brings. She uses him as a ruse to get Kat to finally date so she can date. In the beginning, she kind of sees Cameron as a cute puppy. Almost like this person that she can manipulate just because she knows they want something from her. She eventually does start to like Cameron, but there are trials that she has to go through to see that. That being said, I don’t think Bison initially wanted to be with Kant. I think much like Bianca he was trying to free himself from what he sees as a lack of freedom and free will.

It’s not that I’m saying he doesn’t want revenge for his parents (he obviously does, but that is seemingly a ruse by “mom” to keep them around). But it is more so that just like Bianca, his brother is an obstacle within itself. The issue here is that he loves his brother (just like Bianca loves Kat) but neither set of siblings truly knows the other. They fight to protect each other, but can’t even do that because how do you protect someone you don’t truly understand? The only person in the reference material who is truly a victim of the plot is Kat (Fadel) as they are the only people in their stories who have genuine feelings for Patrick (Style). At no point is any of it a joke or a game or even a ploy to get what they want. In general, neither Kat nor Fadel are that savvy and both are far too levelheaded to do anything that the other characters do. So when you look at the motivation behind Bison’s attempt at freedom, he has to be far more savvy than anyone around him.

This is because you have to keep in mind that both Bianca and Bison’s goals aren’t to trick or hurt their sibling. They are looking for someone who would love their “difficult” sibling while also getting something in return. Bison didn’t mean for Kant to hire someone to fake like his brother. Just as much as Bianca didn’t ask Cameron to hire someone to fake date her sister. They are both fiercely protective of their older sibling and that is why we constantly see Bison five steps ahead or paying attention to things that even Fadel isn’t. I think what adds to the story is that the stakes are much higher. In 10 Things you have a bunch of high schoolers dealing with pretty high school issues. But in this sense, you have people’s livelihood at stake. So I think it feels like so much more pain is being brought up than in the original media. It’s easier to find fault in Kant, Style, and Bison because we’re watching a bunch of people do pretty terrible things. But I think for this type of story, you have to kind of remove morals because all four are pretty morally gray. None of them are perfect people or, like in the movie, kids.

Anyway, that’s all for me! Bye!

*Taming = Taming of the Shrew by William Shakespeare (play) *10 Things=10 Things I Hate About You (movie adaption of said play).

[hwa-stars]

Passenger Princess

Genre: fluff

Pairing: idol Choi Jongho x fem named reader

Summary: Since your boyfriend has his own car, why don't he help you drive?

Word count: 1.5k

Jongho sat sprawled out on the couch, flipping through channels on the TV, while Minseo paced back and forth in front of him. Her arms were crossed, eyes narrowing as they landed on him.

She had been trying to convince him to give her driving lessons weeks ago, and now, she was determined to break him down.

"Jongho." She said, her tone edging on a whine. "You’ve had that car for months now, and you still haven’t let me drive or teach me more. What’s the deal?"

He glanced up at her, already knowing where this conversation was headed. “I told you. It’s brand new, and I want to keep it that way.”

"It’s a car, not a museum exhibit! Cars are meant to be driven, you know?" Minseo threw her hands up hands up in frustration.

Jongho sighed, shifting uncomfortably. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust her—he trusted her with pretty much everything.

But his car? The one he had saved for and just recently purchased? The thought of something happening to it, even a tiny scratch, made his stomach churn.

“I trust you, but anything could happen." He said cautiously, trying not to provoke her further.

Minseo rolled her eyes, clearly unimpressed with his reasoning. "You’re being dramatic. You've seen how much effort I have made. What’s the worst that could happen? You don’t trust me to drive?"

“No, it’s not that—”

“Then what?” She interrupted, her hands on her hips. "Come on baby, how am I supposed to get better at driving if you never let me practice? You can sit right next to me and guide me when you think I'm doing something wrong but I’ll be careful, I promise."

She had a point, and Jongho knew it. For weeks, she’d been bringing it up, and for weeks, he had been putting her off, giving her the same excuses.

Minseo wasn’t the type to give up easily, and the way she was standing now, staring him down with a determined gleam in her eyes, made it clear that he was running out of time. He either had to give in or face her endless pestering.

"Although, if you don't want, I can't force you." She sighed, looking at him. "I can ask Wooyoung, Yunho, or Hongjoong if they can teach me in their cars. If you don't feel comfortable, you don't have to worry."

Jongho rubbed the back of his neck, knowing he was about to lose this battle. "Alright, that's enough." He sighed, defeated. "Fine. I’ll teach you how to drive thats what boyfriends are.”

Minseo’s face lit up instantly, her lips curving into a wide smile. “Really?”

“Yes." He muttered, standing up from the couch. “But if anything happens to my car, I’m holding you responsible.” Minseo laughed, already grabbing her jacket.

“Don’t worry, nothing’s going to happen. I’ll be extra careful, you’ll see.”

Jongho grabbed the keys with a sigh, his heart already racing at the thought of Minseo behind the wheel of his beloved car. But the excitement in her eyes softened his worries just a bit. After all, he had promised to her girlfriend.

☆☆☆☆☆

The sun was low in the sky when they arrived at an empty parking lot, casting a warm, golden glow over the space. Minseo stood by the driver’s side door, bouncing slightly on the balls of her feet as Jongho handed her the keys. His fingers lingered for a moment, and he cleared his throat, letting go reluctantly.

“Alright, first things first,” Jongho said, sliding into the passenger seat and buckling his seatbelt with a firm click. “Adjust your seat and mirrors. Make sure you’re comfortable and can reach everything easily.”

Minseo’s hands shook slightly as she adjusted the seat and mirrors. She glanced over at him, searching for reassurance.

“You’re doing great." He said softly. “Take your time.”

With a deep breath, Minseo placed her hands on the steering wheel, positioning them just as she had read in the manual.

“Like this?” She asked, glancing at Jongho.

“Exactly.” He said, his voice even and calm. “Now, remember to press the brake before you shift into drive.”

She did as instructed, and the car purred softly as it shifted into gear. The silence hung between them, and for a moment, Jongho’s grip on the edge of his seat tightened. Minseo noticed and smirked.

“Relax.” Minseo said with a grin as she chuckled at her boyfriend's face. “You look like you’re about to have a heart attack.”

“Maybe a little.” He admitted with a chuckle. “But I trust you. Just take it slow.”

Minseo nodded, focusing as she gently pressed the gas pedal. The car rolled forward smoothly, and her eyes lit up with excitement. They made slow laps around the lot, with Jongho giving pointers here and there—“Check your mirrors,” “Ease into the turn,” “Brake a little earlier next time.”

At one point, she miscalculated a turn and the car jolted slightly.

“Oh!” She gasped, her face immediately going red as she lifted her foot off the pedal. “I’m so sorry.” Jongho reached out, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

“Hey, it’s okay. Mistakes happen. Just breathe and try again.” His tone was steady, warmth evident in his eyes.

Minseo took a shaky breath, her nerves calming as she felt the gentle weight of his hand.

“Thanks.” She whispered, regaining her composure. She took the turn again, this time more smoothly, and Jongho’s smile widened.

“See? You’re already improving.” He said, pride lacing his voice.

They spent the next hour driving around the lot, practicing turns, braking, and even a few parking attempts. Each small mistake was met with encouragement, and Jongho never once raised his voice or showed impatience.

If anything, he seemed to grow more relaxed as Minseo gained confidence, and by the end, he was sitting back with a content smile.

“Alright." He finally said as she parked the car and turned off the engine. “I think you’re ready for more than just parking lots.”

☆☆☆☆☆

The lessons continued over the next few weeks, moving to quiet neighborhood streets and eventually to more bustling areas. Jongho guided her through parallel parking, three-point turns, and navigating intersections.

There were moments of doubt, like when she stopped too suddenly at a light or hesitated before making a turn, but Jongho was always there to reassure her.

“Remember." He said say low and soothing. “You’ve got this. Trust yourself as much as I trust you.”

And slowly, Minseo did.

One afternoon, Jongho turned to her with a proud smile after she executed a flawless turn.

“You’re ready for your driving test.” Minseo’s eyes widened, her mouth falling open.

“Do you really think so?”

“I know so.” He replied, squeezing her hand.

The day of the test came, and Minseo was fidgeting as they waited for her turn. Jongho sat beside her, calm and confident, and gave her a playful nudge.

“Nervous?”

“A little." She admitted, eyes darting to the door where the instructor would appear any minute.

“Don’t be." He said, his voice a quiet anchor. “You’re ready.”

The test itself felt like an eternity, but when she returned with the instructor and a beaming smile, Jongho’s heart swelled with pride.

“I passed!” She shouted, running to him.

He laughed, catching her as she threw her arms around him.

“I knew you would,” he whispered, pressing a quick kiss to her lips.

☆☆☆☆☆

Months later, Jongho tossed his car keys to Minseo without a second thought. They were heading out to the KQ building, and he didn’t even blink as she caught the keys and slid into the driver’s seat.

“You’re letting me drive again?” Minseo asked with a smirk, starting the car. “You’ve really changed, Jongho.” He shrugged, getting comfortable in the passenger seat.

“You’re licensed now, aren’t you? Besides, you’re a better driver than I am.”

“I think that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.” Minseo grinned as she pulled out of the driveway. “I’m putting that on record.”

Whenever the other members of Ateez found out, they couldn’t help but tease Jongho.

“Minseo drives your car now?” Wooyoung had said one day, eyes wide with mock disbelief. “You don’t even let me drive it!”

“Looks like someone’s the passenger princess now.” San added, winking.

Minseo never let him live that down. Each time they set off, she’d grin and say. “Ready, passenger princess?”

Jongho would roll his eyes, but the playful banter made him smile. Sitting in the passenger seat and watching her laugh, with the wind blowing through her hair and that familiar look of confidence on her face, Jongho felt something deeper than pride.

It was happiness, pure and simple, seeing Minseo shine, feeling her joy, made every teasing comment worth it.

As they drove through the city that evening, with the glow of streetlights casting a warm hue over everything and quite music in the background.

“I like having you as my passenger.” She reached over and squeezed his hand as Jongho chuckled.

“As long as you’re happy, I’m happy.” He take his hand and kissed the back of it and laced with his.

And he really mean it.

[yall-batman-fanfic]

The Crossroads | Damian Wayne/Robin & Batmom 

Synopsis: Inspired by Batman & Robin #16, and I really want this possible ending for Damian Wayne in the Continuity.

It was the sound of the soft and barely heard knock on his door that pulled Damian from his reverie. Getting up from his bed, he opened the door, knowing it was the youngest member of their family, and he was right. A smile crept on his face as he saw two-year-old Valerie standing there with her infectious smile.

“Dami!” She held her hands out to him.

“Hi, Val,” He picked her up and let her play with his face.

But Valerie wasn’t the only one at the other side of the door. Damian saw Vivian leaning against the wall across his bedroom with her arms crossed over her chest and a smile on her face. With the way she was looking at him, he knew she wanted to talk to him. He had a feeling it was because she got a call from his school or maybe his father already told her about their last argument.

“Come in,” Damian told her. “And you don’t have to use Val as a conversation starter too. I’d gladly open the door for you, as long as Father isn’t with you.”

Vivian sighed and followed her youngest son inside. Closing the door after her, she removed her shoes to sit on his bed, cross legged, and had Valerie crawl towards her.

“What did Father tell you now?” Damian asked.

“A lot, but we can get to that later,” Vivian had Valerie standing and helped her walk to Damian. “I’ve been getting calls from your teachers at school, and the Headmaster too.”

Damian did not look fazed by it. So, he was right about it.

Vivian continued. “They said you’ve been skipping school.”

“Let me explain,” Damian started.

Vivian reached out to hold his hand, calming him down. “And then your father told me that you and him had a spat the other night and since then you both haven’t been talking. He said you were skipping patrols.”

Damian frowned. “He didn’t tell you why I wanted to skip one night of patrol?”

“He said you forged his signature so you can volunteer at the hospital,” Vivian broke any idea in his mind that Bruce was giving half-truths. “I know that you and him didn’t really talk about it, but this time. I just want to understand – I need to know, Damian. What’s wrong? What’s going on?”

Damian sighed. He pulled Valerie to him to sit on his lap and play with his hands as he thought about what to say. “I’ve been reading Thomas Wayne’s journals. He writes about sacred heart in there, and I went there. To check on Emma. The girl who was hurt. Dr. Bashar asked if I wanted to volunteer, and I… like you said, I forged Father’s signature on a form.”

Vivian adjusted herself to sit beside Damian and they both leaned back on the pillows, and had Valerie settle between them. But she still had an arm around Damian to keep him close to her. 

“They scheduled me for that night I told Father that I’d be skipping patrol. It was by mistake. I was not planning to go, but… when he found out, I thought… instead of Arkham I could go there instead. He exaggerated – as usual – thinking that skipping one night of patrol would mean I was skipping all the same… or that I was quitting — but I’m not quitting… I don’t think.”

Vivian had Valerie move to her other side so she was beside Damian, the girl noticed and got on her feet to climb on her mother, but Damian saw her and took the toddler so she could sit on his lap again. 

“Has the thought of quitting cross your mind?” Vivian asked.

He was silent for a time. “When Father was my age, he walked across the Earth to find himself, and you said that when you were my age, you gone through this stage where you had to find yourself. That’s where the occult thing started right?”

“Actually,” Vivian took a breath. “The occult thing was more of me grieving for my mother. She was a huge part of my life and when she died, she left a huge hole in me. It was like all this time, I had this warmth hugging me, keeping me safe, and then when she was gone, so did that warmth and I was left in a cold place. Alone, scared, vulnerable. I did all of that to find her, to make sense of this pain I was feeling. To numb myself.”

“I see.” Damian held her hand and rest his temple on her shoulder. Is that what it would feel like when she’s gone too? Damian thought. Will he feel empty when she finally passes? He wouldn’t admit it but Vivian has brought a warmth in his life, one that he never got from his own Mother or his Father – even when Bruce is trying to be an okay father.

“But I can say that my decision to go to Gotham University was my version to walk across the earth. Like a cheap version… one that needed a scholarship, a loan, and part-time jobs.” She laughed but Damian didn’t. It only pissed him off how his father would overlook the privilege he had growing up — to run away to travel and find himself, while people like Vivian (those not born in riches) had to make do with what they have and what opportunities present themselves.

Vivian continued, “My time in Gotham University gave me clarity. It was one of the times I was at my lowest point and the time I struggled to get back on my feet and get my life back together. It was also then I realized I love teaching… your father doesn’t know this but I also volunteered in some charities to teach kids how to read while I was studying. Not exactly the Wayne Foundation, but some other charities who needed an extra hand.”

“And that’s how you found your calling?” Damian asked.

“I guess. Sweetheart, I know it’s hard to figure out who you are, with you also have to be Robin, and then at this stage of your life… this is the time where you are supposed to find out who you want to be or who you’re meant to be. I told Dick that it’s okay to try something new and make a lot of mistakes… and I know that you never want to make mistakes, but it’s okay.

“And people your age are going around trying things, quitting on some, and trying another so they know what it was they want to do.”

Damian scoffed. “Like Father would ever let Robin do that.”

Vivian frowned. “I know… it’s either you’re in or you’re out in this business.”

“I want to keep helping people,” Damian stated, determined with that. “But I’m just not sure if I want to keep helping them this way. Having to wear a mask, patrols, the fighting… I know it’s crazy because I was created to be the ultimate weapon – created by Talia al Ghul with her and Batman’s DNA, raised and train by the League of Assassins and Ras al Ghul, trained by Batman to be Robin. I’m a weapon, my purpose is to keep fighting.”

“Is that so?” Vivian smiled. “You once said to Jon that he has no choice in the matter when the time comes he needs to be Superman, and the same goes for you when it’s time for Batman to pass the cowl… but that was a long time ago.”

Damian frowned at the memory. How he wanted the cowl for so long and now… he wasn’t sure about it.

Does he still want to be Batman?

“Damian,” Vivian sat up and had him follow her so they could talk face to face. She had him look at her and she said, “You are now at the crossroads of your life, and right now what I can see is you’re battling in the inside between the clear path that the people around you have forged for you to follow and the path that is unknown, filled with uncertainty, bumps, and an adventure you’d never know until you try. 

“I won’t lie, this is going to be a hard choice for you to choose, and sometimes you’ll go back to the start and decide to take the other path, or the other, or the other. But know this, son, I will be here to help, to guide you, and support you,” she wiped the tears falling from his eyes. “And I will be there with you, at your side hold your hand until you see this through.

“There are no right or wrong answers to this, Damian. And I promise no one will ever be disappointed in whatever path you take. Okay? I am so proud of you, my boy. And though we started a little rough, I would go through all that again if it means having you here with me and you calling me ‘Mom’.”

Unable to hide his tears any more, Damian hugged Vivian and hid his face on her shoulder. “Thank you, Mom,” he sobbed.

“You are now at the crossroads, my boy. It’s going to be a hard journey, but I’ll be there for you. It would mean questioning a lot of things — there will be doubt, but always remember your family is here for you. Okay?” Vivian kissed the top of his head.

Damian nodded and kept holding his mother tight. 

Valerie, who could see her brother was upset, got up and patted his cheek. “Dami,” she whimpered, tears building up. “No cry,” her voice cracked.

Damian turned to her, wiping his tears and bringing her to an embrace. “It’s okay, Val. I’m alright.”

“Hurt?” Valerie asked, tapping on his chest.

“No… not hurt,” he turned to his mother, smiling. “Relieved. I feel so much lighter now. Much lighter that I was before.”

Vivian wiped his tears that stained his cheek and pressed her forehead on his. “I love you, sweetheart. And so does your Father, okay?”

Damian chuckled. “I guess.”

“Abuu!” Valerie told him. It was I love you in her own way of saying. 

“Come on, let’s get something from the kitchen. How does ice cream sound?” Vivian got up.

“I want chocolate,” said Damian, following her with Valerie in his arms.

“Okay,” Vivian had an arm around him as they walked down the hall. “Don’t worry about your father, I’ll talk to him. And give me the schedules you have in the hospital so we can talk about when Robin gets a break too.”

“Thanks, Mom.”

~ Far into the Future ~

Terry wouldn’t be surprised that everyone of Bruce Wayne’s children are skilled in martial arts, and knows a thing or two on stitching wounds. But who would have thought Bruce Wayne’s most bloodthirsty works at Sacred Heart Convalescent Home. 

Normally it would be Valerie who stitches up his wounds, but for this one, she had to call for help to get this injury patched up. He knew it would be one of the Batkids, but he didn’t expect Damian Wayne to appear with a medical bag and a scowl on his face that was pointed at his father, who was standing there at Valerie’s side, watching them. 

“There, all done,” Damian finished the stitch. “Normally, our mother would do some magic to finish the job completely, but with her dealing with things with the Endless at the moment, this would do,” he handed Terry some pain medication – two tablets – “Once a day,” he said firmly. “And knowing you won’t sit down and rest because you’re just as stubborn as the old man, make sure your movements are marginal so you don’t pop a stitch. If you do, call me — she’s still not that good at stitching. In fact, don't give her a scalpel. I remember her frog dissection project and it was horrifying.”

Valerie huffed at her brother and crossed her arms over her chest. 

Seeing his sister’s reaction, Damian messed with her hair and said, “But I’d trust her to have your back on the field.”

“Val doesn’t go on the field,” Bruce said, sternly.

Damian sighed and said to his sister, “I better get going, I got surgery in a couple of hours.”

“Okay, need me to drive you there?” Valerie asked.

“No, I got it. Stay here and look after those two and tell Mom that I came by,” Damian hugged his sister and kissed her on the forehead. “I’ll see you around, Penny.”

Valerie smiled and hugged him back. “You too, Robin,” she whispered. “Love you!”

With Damian gone, Valerie had Terry move to the manor and settled him in one of the rooms up there. She left him for a moment to see her father, who she helped to his bed and his medication – since her mom wasn’t there at the moment – before coming back to him with a hot soup and bread.

“Damian said that you need to build up your strength,” she placed the tray beside him.

“Thanks, Val,” Terry was trembling when he tried to get the spoon, and he was having a hard time leaning down to get a sip, so Valerie took the tray and the spoon from him and shoved the spoonful of soup into his mouth. “Thanks,” he muttered at the violent way she did it. “So, Doctor Damian Wayne?”

“Yeah,” Valerie held out the spoon for him.

“He’s the youngest of the Robins, right?” 

“Yup. The blood son of the Batman,” she chuckled at the memory on how her older brothers would tease Damian. “And the bloodthirsty.”

He knew it.

“So, how did he…”

“Suddenly become a doctor dedicated to saving lives?”

“Yeah.”

“He went through a lot… a lot of thinking, self-doubt, eventually he was at that time of his life where he needed to decide what he wants to do. How he wants to help people, and then he suddenly hung up the cape and the mask and went to Med School. Everyone was in shock when he said that he was quitting and that he wanted to study medicine.”

“How did Bruce take it?”

Valerie took a breath. “Hard but Mom was there to soften the blow. We’re proud of him, for what he’s doing. And though he’s a doctor, Damian Wayne still knows how to kick ass but not in a lethal way. But he’ll still dangle you over the building if you mess with him, his patients and his family.”

“Speaking from experience?” Terry joked.

“Let’s just say, he and the Robins and Batman hunted down a man who kidnapped me and he dangled someone over the railways to get information. And he was in Medical School at that time too.”

“Oh. And him and Bruce? Did something happen to them?” Terry asked, sensing the tension between he father and son earlier.

“Since he became a doctor, he didn’t like it when Batman recruits minors to do crime fighting.”

“Kind of hypocritical, don’t you think?”

Valerie shoved a spoon into his mouth. Terry made a mental note to not hire Valerie Pryor-Wayne as a personal nurse.

“He grew up and had a few realizations,” Val shrugged. “Nothing hypocritical about that. Finish this so I can head back and study the case, I also gotta look at some things we found at Midnite’s club too.”

Terry chuckled, “Yes, Ma’am.”

~*~

Sitting in his office, Damian prepared himself for his surgery by studying the charts of his patient over and over again. Trying to find the best way to do this efficiently and without complications. 

The sudden presence in the room did not pull him from his concentration, but when she had a hand on his shoulder did he finally turn away from the charts and looked at the woman standing there.

“Mom,” He squeezed her hand and smiled at her. “Family dinner’s done?”

Vivian Pryro-Wayne has aged, just like her husband, her red hair now had streaks of white t. She had wrinkles on her face and neck, but was still as beautiful as she was when she was younger. And the look in her eyes and the smile on her face never changed whenever she is with her husband and her children.

“Yeah, it’s done,” Vivian sighed. “We had to settle some things with the stewards of Hell. And the case that Val and Terry are doing are a bit connected with the one we’re dealing with.”

“You and John?” Damian got up poured a glass of scotch for his mother.

“Yup.”

Damian sighed. “You gotta stop this, Mom. You’re not as young as you used to.”

“I know, I know, but unlike Batman, I don’t get to retire from this. As long as this power is with me, I have responsibilities to keep the balance of the cosmos… balanced.”

“Very articulate,” he teased.

Vivian laughed, then brought her son to an embrace. 

“You should head home and rest, Mom.”

“I know, but I just want to see how you are.”

“I got surgery in a couple of hours… but I’m doing fine.”

Vivian smiled and kissed his cheek. “I know you are. I’m proud of you, Damian. Always remember that.”

Damian smiled and held his mother tight. “I know. Thank you, Mom.”

[homestuckreplay]

JOHN EGBERT’S GIFT UNBOXING VIDEO LIVE UNEDITED

(page 1052-1069)

‘So much sweet loot. You'd almost think it was simultaneously your birthday, AND Christmas or something. Of course you know that is ridiculous and could never conceivably happen.’ (p.1069)

Today’s update – which was posted on December 21-22, near Christmas, but is set on April 13, John’s birthday – is John blatantly ignoring Rose’s orders and making himself a bunch of sweet loot. The story has laid the groundwork for John alchemizing further, so I think this could still work for someone who’s reading the archive and/or who doesn’t celebrate Christmas – but it’s clearly set up as a real time, shared culture experience.

The things John makes apparently came from an 80 item (!!) MSPA forums poll, with other readers voting on potential alchemy combinations. That’s cute because it’s like we’re collectively deciding what Christmas gifts to give him. Unfortunately I can’t find the poll to see the other options.

I’m going to list off everything John makes for completonism, and then drill down on a couple specific items and discuss the alchemy process generally.

John’s Christmas Loot <3

Hammerhead Pogo Ride (Hammer || Pogo) (5 build 20 shale)

Green Slime Ghost Suit (Suit && John Shirt) (3 build 1 shale)

Wise Guy Slime Suit (Green Slime Ghost Suit || Wise Guy Book) (1 build 5 shale 10 tar) (Contains Secret Trickster Gimmicks)

Serious Business Goggles (PDA && Glasses) (6 build 3 tar 6 mercury)

Telescopic Sassacrusher (Sledgehammer || Colonel Sassacre’s && Telescope) (250 shale 10 tar 50 mercury) (MUCH bigger than John)

Hellacious Blue Phlegm Aneurysm Gushers (Gushers && Nannasprite’s Ectoplasm) (24 build 30 shale 18 mercury) (has healing properties, but still made by Betty Crocker)

Remote Ghost Gauntlet (Fake Arm && Nannasprite’s Ectoplasm || PDA) (32 build 128 tar)

Left Handed Remote Ghost Gauntlet (Remote Ghost Gauntlet && Bathroom Mirror) (32 build 128 tar)

Barber’s Best Friend (Umbrella && Razor) (2 shale 8 mercury) (I support john branching out weapons wise)

Betty Crocker Barbasol Bomb (Gushers && Shaving Cream) (1 build 1 shale) (terrible, but the || combination is likely even worse)

Cosbytop (Ghost Dad Poster && Computer Tower) (30 build 10 shale)

Fedora + Candy Corn (Fedora && Problem Sleuth Game) (5 build)

?????? (Problem Sleuth Game && Hammer) (30,000 build 90,000 ? 6,000 mercury 180,000 ? 1 ?) [NOT MADE]

Wrinklefucker (Pogo Hammer || Iron) (55 build 44 shale 66 tar)

John thinks that his Serious Business Goggles make him ‘look way cooler, like one of the kids from SPY KIDS or something.’ He then quotes the tagline ‘REAL SPIES… only smaller’ which I thought was a classic Homestuck incorrect quote, but a quick search reveals that this was the actual tagline for Spy Kids 1 (2001). I haven’t seen that movie but I HAVE seen Spy Kids 3: Game Over (2003), which is a very Homestuck relevant movie. So I’m planning to rewatch that in the next couple days and see how the game in that movie compared to John’s experiences playing Sburb.

John wearing a bland business suit didn’t feel right to me. It felt like he was playing a part, either dressing up like a movie character or dressing up like his dad because the house feels empty without him, and John feels like he has to step into the ‘man of the house’ role. Now that he’s customizing the suit with the green slime ghost and the possibility of playing 52-card pickup at any moment, this feels like a John outfit. Any suit is still a type of clothing that has a lot of cultural associations, but John showing some identity through his clothes is still meaningful, and the teal looks good on him.

The Cosbytop is a very unfortunate reference and I don’t support Bill Cosby in any way, but the connotations are accidental. From John’s perspective, this person plays a movie character he looks up to. John loves the movie Ghost Dad, but has defaced its poster with ‘IDIOT [R SLUR] DEAD FATHER’. It seems like something John’s dad should have noticed and maybe discussed with John, but instead he apparently ignored it and kept on watching movies with John. I am starting to think that a lot of John’s problems come from his dad’s complete unwillingness to address things openly, which is a common, culturally ingrained trait of quite a few fathers.

And now John has made a computer themed after someone he sees as a good dad, literally creating his own new father figure to guide him through important activities, alchemizing a dad replacement. So there’s a huge difference between John’s conscious and unconscious opinions of Elliot Hopper (the protagonist of Ghost Dad), and he’s unwilling to think through that – he takes a moment to think ‘lousy goddamn stupid subsconscious!’ but immediately moves on. I think John is less able to compartmentalize his feelings towards his actual dad, but they’re just as conflicted.

In and around the SWEET LOOT, we actually learn more about alchemy (although it’s easy to miss in the excitement). John is now using overlapping card && combinations, leading to punched cards with only a few holes, and double punched || combinations, leading to punched cards with a lot of holes. The hammer/pogo combination is the only one where we’ve seen both options. I think this is a missed opportunity – John should have tried Problem Sleuth Game || Hammer and seen if it also cost a ridiculous amount of grist.

The pogo hammer cost 10 build grist and 16 shale, while the hammerhead pogo cost 5 build and 20 shale – the same types of grist for both, but the numbers are different. I’m not sure how an item’s grist cost and types are calculated, or if it’s possible to predict that – but most items John has tried to make, he’s had the right types of grist for. So maybe the items in a player’s house are linked to the grist they collect in the early game, while other items John might discover on his journey (or perhaps on Prospit??) will use grist that doesn’t appear until the late game. The cost could relate to the number of combined items, except the butchered rocket pack (4 combined items) only cost 4 build and 8 shale.

On page 1064, John figures out how to ‘subtract’ one item from another, making a simpler item instead of a more complex one. This is super smart of him, as he accounts for all possible ways the subtraction could work, tries them in turn, and finds which one is right. I want to give John big props for being so smart, but also highlight how different the items from the other combinations are – punch cards with a single hole difference can yield a potted plant, a painting of a horse attacking a football player, and a Ghost Dad movie poster. So it’s not possible to change a single hole to make a similar but different item; there’s a randomization process preventing that.

I also wonder if there’s a maximum number of items that can be combined – John says that by alternating && and || combinations, the total number of holes will stay relatively consistent, but surely there’s a point where combining enough complex items loops back around to making something really simple. Just due to the limited number of hole combinations available, there’s a theoretical limit to how weird this can get, and I think it’d be funny if John combined the Wise Guy Slime Suit with the Hellacious Blue Phlegm Aneurysm Gushers and ended up with a simple kitchen spoon, because he’s hit the limit.

I understand why Rose wants to save the grist for building John’s house, but most of the items he’s made are genuinely useful – the new weapons are essential, the healing gushers are really smart for if Nannasprite isn’t around, and the serious business goggles will make it WAY easier to keep in touch with Rose without the PDA getting lost in John’s sylladex. Sburb/Skaia is a somewhat malevolent entity, so while this is a fun happy update, I can’t help but wonder if Sburb is trying to sow discord between friends by giving the server and client player two different goals, but a singular resource. Even if it’s not malicious, it’s a trial by fire for this friendship.

> John: Combine playing cards and candy corn.

[isavulpix]

Jason Todd Headcanons 2

Teacher!Reader x Jason Todd

I want to say thank you to all of y’all for liking and rebloging 🥺 y’all are so lovely. I hope y’all like this night thoughts.

Warnings: My first language isn’t English so there will be errors, I haven’t read a comic beside the webtoon one so Jason may be a bit OOC sorry.

• After y’all meet, Jason can’t have a normal day. You and your damn smile pop on his mind at random times. Which makes him have a small curve on the edge of his mouth, confusing Bruce. Why is he smiling as he talks about the obligatory attendance to the gala this week?

• He hates this because come on…he can’t be thinking about the pretty teacher…is too cliche. This isn’t a love story from Christina Luren. Plus he has better things to do than thinking about the pretty teacher who smile made his heart tremble…

• So he starts to do more things to distract himself of thinking about you, and maybe it did work a little too well. Now he is in Roy and Lian apartment along Dick and a room full of little gremlins.

• Roy asked him to help him in Lian birthday party. it was Bluey theme and Roy bought her the cutest Bingo outfit 🥺

• Jason didn’t have a problem helping him, plus he can’t wait for the gift opening time to come. He bought Lian the loudest and flashiest toy he could find just to annoy Roy.

• What he didn’t expect was that Lian beside inviting her classmates, she also invited you. Her teacher…the one that he totally isn’t thinking about night and day…He is also not thinking about how gorgeous you look at the moment. The outfit, the hair, accessories, all of it helps amplify your beauty, but Jason favorite aspect is the smile you wear.

• He isn’t nervous…he just has eaten like five cupcakes, three cookies and four juices that were for the kids while trying to avoid looking at you. He is lucky Dick and Roy are too occupied with Lian and the kids to read his behavior.

• But you do, like who wouldn’t notice the hot tall man? He was just your type, but you do raise an eyebrow confused, why is he sweating as he eats? Is not even hot in here. Plus isn’t supposed to be all over his daughter?

• Yeah, you read right, daughter. You think Roy and Jason are a couple. Why? Easy, Lian always talks about her dad, uncle Dick and “Jason”. All her drawings have one or two of them, tells stories about them.

• Dick somehow bribed Lian to call uncle Jay “Jason”, he hates it and is trying to bribe her into calling him uncle Jay again. Lian loves it since she is getting more sugar than what Roy let’s her.

• You don’t know anything about her mother and since she doesn’t look like Roy you think they adopted her or something. You aren’t to stuck your nose into what doesn’t concern you, plus you did heard some moms gossip that…but it doesn’t stop you from subtly ogling Jason. Why are the hot men always unavailable?

• So imagine Jason confused face when you offer to take a photo of the dads with Lian. Like dads? Like…multiple? And why do you say it while looking at him and Roy? Oh…OH NO WAIT….

• The hamster in Jason brain has stop working and Roy realize it, so why not have fun? Roy smile and pulls Jason into the family photo. A little payback for picking up Lian late and bribing her, y’all really think Lian who is a daddy’s girl, plus a 5 year old is capable of holding a secret?

• Jason hates the photo, he has his eyes slight wide in it, while Lian smiles and Roy has an arm around his shoulder. Roy also got that photo framed in Jason apartment knowing Jason can’t take it down without dealing with a pouting Lian. Because how he dares to take down a photo of them?

• Anyways, when he comes back to reality the small celebration is done and kids are being picked up by there parents and you where long gone. Roy and Dick laugh about what just happened and tease him. He mentally curses when he realizes he didn’t had the time to tell you he isn’t with Roy…