#have you ever just went one in direction and then veered so hard in the other that you snap your neck?

[thereareeyesinsidethetrees]

me: evil stan twins is kind of fun actually, it's interesting to write a couple of guys that aren't the least bit redeemable

also me, sobbing: but what if they weren't evil and they were redeemed and they lived the rest of their lives in a nice little comfy cozy cabin in a sunny oak forest filled with rabbits :'[

[dekariosclan]

Hello my friend!

So we all know how amazing and wonderful Gale is, how kind, good, caring and funny he is. He is, in so many ways, a perfect man.

He is, however, only human. I have the tendency to idealise him, and forget this.

My question to you is - what do you think his flaws are? Both generally and as a husband/life partner.

💜

Ohhh I love this question so much ❤️ I am a hopeless romantic, and I adore Gale’s charming, sweet, loving adorkableness! He is truly amazing—but I can confirm NOBODY (and no relationship) is ever 100% perfect.

The thing about a long-term committed relationship is that, while your partner’s charms make the relationship wonderful, their flaws are what make it REAL. And that’s just as important.

So let’s talk about our charming Gale’s less-than-charming aspects, shall we?

[warning: this went from a short & concise answer to a rambling dissertation, please prepare yourself accordingly! Also I know this ask/answer was supposed to make Gale a little less perfect and help lessen our obsession, but uhhhh, I seem to have veered hard in the opposite direction 😂]

———

First off: The Pomposity™️ (I’m not 100% certain that’s even a real word but you know what I mean right) So we all know that by the end of the game, (human) Gale has come to accept himself as he is, and decided to henceforth be known as ‘Gale Dekarios, a most brilliant wizard of intentionally limited reknown.’ He’s come a lonnng way in cutting down his ego, but let’s be honest: some of it will never truly go away. And that’s fair, because he IS brilliant, and he IS talented, and he IS extremely passionate about magic.

…but it’s tough to remember all that and give him a pass when that usually-oh-so-adorable-finger-in-the-air is now aimed at YOU, as he declares that ‘after all, he IS an expert on [*insert topic here*] because he WAS awarded [*insert scholarly award here*] from the one and only [*insert impressive Blackstaff Academy professor here.*]’

And all you wanted was for your opinion to be taken into consideration regarding the wine selection at dinner.

———

Second: The Disarray / Messiness. Gale has a brilliant mind, one that he applies full throttle to any and all situations: concentration on magic spells, lance board strategy, calculations, poring over ancient tomes, and even figuring out how to cook something edible out of rotting fish heads and some moldy cheese (no veggies, though!)

The problem is, while his mind is brilliant and he will keep it laser-focused on his chosen subject at that current moment, from a day-to-day perspective he is straight-up scatter brained with all the things he has his hands in. We can see this in his vision of his tower: BOOKS. BOOKS EVERYWHERE. Some stacked in piles, some shoved onto shelves, some left open on the page he was reading when he got distracted, etc.

We also get confirmation of this from Tara in the epilogue:

Tara: The way he leaves his potions in absolute disarray—I know for certain he wasn’t raised in a barn, but you’d never know it.

It’s one thing to have books & potions & scrolls scattered throughout his library and sitting room—you have no complaints against that, you HAVE moved in with/married a wizard, after all—but to find them in the kitchen, wine cellar, even occasionally stuffed into your own wardrobe? It’s a bit much.

TLDR: Our rizzard is a hot mess.

———

Which leads us into perhaps his biggest flaw: The Fussiness.

So about all those books everywhere, on everything, all at once? You didn’t try and ARRANGE them or organize them for him, did you?…You did?! Oh, gods! No, no, he had an ORDER to them, you see, and he knew that the exact spell he needed could be found in the third book down in the stack next to the piano, page 453, why did you ever decide to move it?

Well, you explain as patiently as you can, it was in the way, and frankly you could tell from the dust on it that he hadn’t touched it in several yea—

BY ELMINSTER’S ELBOW, did you ALPHABETIZE his illusion scrolls??! Oh, for the love of—!

You get the picture.

There would undoubtedly be moments when you found yourself fully exasperated by this man and his exacting, fussy nature.

———

All that being said: true fights would be rare.

The occasional huffy remark or quickly-forgotten gripe would occur now and then as in any relationship, but a real, anger-filled argument? With heightened emotions and hurt feelings? Rare indeed.

The only thing bigger than Gale’s brain is his heart. And while his mind is dedicated to a great many things as mentioned above (magic studies, lance board, etc) his heart is 100% dedicated TO YOU, and you alone. So on those rare occasions after a fight has occurred, it does not take long for him to come down from the heat of the moment and realize, oh, hells, he’s been an ass, hasn’t he?

He knows you love him. His anxiety about not being enough for you has long since disappeared, and he’s calmed his worries that you would ever leave him, but still…there’s always a lingering concern that maybe you’ll grow distant from him after an argument.

If you are in the wrong and he is certain of it, he will be stiffly polite until you offer an apology, and then he will be taking you in his arms, kissing you passionately and telling you ‘all is forgiven my love, let’s never speak of this again’ (and trying hard to hide his relief that you apologized first, because he was not sure how long he would be able to hold out and stay mad at you.)

If HE is in the wrong, though? And you are truly mad at him? And he knows he really stuck his foot in it? Oh, boy.

You’ll be treated to an apology so eloquent it would make poets weep, and it will come packaged with hand-holding, pouting, pleading, and Gale getting down on his (bad) knees.

And if you’re still mad at him after that?

Well, then you’ll have to complete a gauntlet harder than anything Shar could ever throw at you. You’ll have to try and stay angry, explain your anger, AND explain to Gale why he won’t be easily forgiven, all while looking directly at this:

And this:

AND THIS:

…

…needless to say you will be failing, and hard.

Not that you mind, because the make-up sex will be absolutely phenomenal. Gale doesn’t just want to repair your loving bond after you’ve had an argument, he wants to improve it. Which requires much study and experimentation, of course.

And for awhile afterwards, all will be bliss again.

…until you find a pile of scrolls shoved under your side of the bed, and some open books scattered across your dresser, and you decide it time to do some organizing. ———

So yes, my friend. Gale definitely does have some flaws, and at some point they WOULD drive you crazy in any sort of relationship you have with him. Gale is wonderful, Gale is loving, but Gale isn’t perfect!!

…but when he takes you in his arms after you’ve made up, and his mouth is hungrily devouring yours, and he’s murmuring words of adoration against your skin as he trails his kisses down your neck, chest, hips—

Nevermind! I take it all back. He’s perfect. 😂

[absolutebl]

10 Best BL Shows with the Hottest Sexitimes

Because this is English and word order matters, this title means the show itself has to be good AS WELL AS the scenes high heat, as opposed to the best sex scenes in BL. The two are not necessarily the same list. Anyway I tried to pick both high heat and a fun show. This was hard (pun intended).

FYI expect triggers with your high heat.

(Oh right. For me to get a 3/3 heat rating the BL has simulated sex in it or very close to it. And usually one or more other sexual acts like bjs, a-ply, etc...)

So, I went to the spreadsheet, and sorted it by high heat and then ranking, and here is what I got. I think #1 will surprise you. What will not surprise you is it's mostly Thai and Taiwanese.

10. TharnType (and follow ups)

Thai 2019 Viki

Should it still rank, all these years later? I am sorry to say, yes it should. University setting, great acting and complex characters, interesting friendship groups, enemies to lovers, seriously angsty coming out, high production values, AMAZING chemistry, multiple BL side couples with all the issues, damaging queer rep, strong seme/uke and husband/wife language, classic tropes and lots of them bad.

But it's famous for a reason.

This was KinnPorsche before KinnPorsche.

9. Addicted: Heroin

China 2016 Viki

When Chinese BL was good it was very dirty good and when it was bad it was censored. This is the model for that statement: rich kid falls madly for the genius poor kid in his class, starts an aggressive pursuit, includes kidnapping for love, obsession, stepbrother trope, plus some cheating. I love this BL because of what I could have been.

Just stop watching it after The Sex Scene. Okay?

8. Love Stage!!

Thai 2022 YouTube

This BL surprised me with its charm. The acting was good, the leads were appealing, support cast on point, and the production values high. It followed the original manga story arc relatively closely: boy falls in love with girl as a child, grows up to discover girl is actually a very pretty boy.

Although there are some quintessentially Thai changes that mellowed, softened, and extended the romance arc and heat levels.

7. HIStory 4: Close to You

Taiwan 2021 Viki

Nancy Chen directs, the side dish plot is basically a pastiche of problematic BL tropes inherited from the above. Great chemistry, high heat, stepbrothers, dubcon, obsession, stalker etc…

They sexy tho.

6. My Day

Pinoy 2020 YouTube

The set up on this one is enemies (also boss/employee) and they don’t like each other to start. But that gets resolved pretty quickly. And then they are some of the cutest, hottest, and best boyfriends ever.

This is an under-appreciated BL, IMHO.

5. Cutie Pie

Thai 2022 YouTube

Very high production (and heat) and a lot of visual references to live action yaoi gave this show a whiff of Japan but ultimately it stayed firmly in Thailand’s BL camp veering from absurd to appealing to annoying and then back to absurd again. If you can roll with the arranged marriage conceit and very lifestyle D/s relationships, the chemistry is spot on even if the plot is naff and driven by miscommunication.

Watch this one for the pretty, give it a pass on depth. (It has depth, it just depth of tongue kisses.)

Also the follow up: Naughty Babe

4. Bed Friend

Thai 2023 YouTube but for high heat you'll net to watch on iQIYI

Office frienamies transition a flaming hot one night stand into a f-buddy relationship that is built on a puppy/cat dynamic (and kinks into it at one point). Our puppy is loyal, smitten, and protective with endlessly longing eyes, while our cat is snarky, prickly, and deeply damaged (ALL THE TRIGGERS).

NetJames give lovely high-heat with excellent chemistry and tuned-in performances of surprising depth, unfortunately the story ultimately failed them. Had the show had the strength of its convictions and kept to a tighter, darker, harsher 8 eps it would have been the first high heat to earn a 10/10 from me, but once they fussed with it, it dropped to a solid 8/10. Could have been great but was overworked.

Still if high heat is your thing, this one will not let you down.

3. HIStory 3: Trapped

Taiwan 2019 Viki

Basically the definition of enemies to lovers from Lin Pei Yu. This is a cop + the mafia man he is chasing but WAIT, they fall in love. Added bonus side couple: assassin and nerd cop ALSO falling in love. It’s great. All the leads are stellar. Its high heat, fun action, and a bit of a mystery drama but pretty about all of it.

My only warning is that the main couple doesn’t entirely end up together, it’s implied, but… amorphous ending.

2. Why R U?

Thai 2020 Viki

No one knows what’s going on, not even the characters, but absolutely no one cares 'cause it's so thirsty. The plot seems to be "great chemistry and make sure Zee's shirts are NEVER BUTTONED PROPERLY." We, the collective, have a pro Hawaiian shirt anti-button stance, so rah rah rah! (Still the most confusing thing about this show is: why they didn't just title it YRU?)

The FighterTuror sex scenes still stand as some of the best ever fielded in a Thai BL. I will not be entertaining opposition on this matter.

1. Be Loved In House: I Do

Taiwan 2021 Viki

A cute classy office set BL with a few plot raised eyebrows, but no other concerns. ALL THE TROPES plus a general sweet softness that’s pretty rare from Taiwan, who usually prefer to go hard, but all their signature domesticity.

There is one high heat sex scene and it's great. But it's the whole package of classic sappy Taiwanese BL that puts this at the very top for me.

Generally just v high heat?

Hottest sex scenes in BL is frankly gonna be largely a matter of your personal taste.

But if the ones mentioned above don't work try:

KinnPorsche

Love in the Air

Big Dragon

HIStory 3; MODC (the BL that shall not be named)

Be Mine Super Star

Manner of Death (and anything else with MaxTul)

Oh My Sunshine Night (sides)

Secret Crush on You

Wedding Plan

Most dark JBL has very good high heat, but... ya know.

For @samara44 by request.

Dated Nov 2023, not responsible for amazing high head that came after.

(source)

[kpop---scenarios]

Linked (2)

Pairing: Byun Baekhyun x Y/N

Warnings: Sexual Content, Mean BBH, ETC

Word Count: 3.1k

A/N: Please forgive me for taking so long to do this. I hope you enjoy! ♡

Chapter One

Your mouth dropped open ever so slightly as you replayed Jennie’s words over in your head again and again. 

Fiancee. 

That word was baffling you. How could he have a fiancee when the connection the two of you had was so fucking strong? You looked back at Baekhyun who looked uncomfortable with Jennie’s arm caressing him. You didn’t want to be in the same room as the two of them any longer. You could feel a large lump in your throat as anger burned inside you, the redness spreading across your face. You needed to get away and you needed to do that now.

 “If there is nothing else you need from me, Mr. Byun, I'll be getting back to work. Nice to meet you Jamie.” you half smile, avoiding any eye contact. You knew what you did, but you didn't care. 

“Uh, it’s Jennie.” she yells out, but you're already out of his office and halfway back to your own by the time she gets the words out.

You had no right to be upset with him - or her. You knew you didn't in your head, but your heart was another story. You two weren't together, you'd never been together. What right did you have? Nothing even happened, but you could feel the fact that you and Baekhyun were meant for each other. You knew that he knew it too.  And all this time he had someone waiting for him at home. While your heart fluttered for him, her’s did too. 

You went home that night and felt like your heart was breaking all over again. You didn’t want to want Baekhyun, your brain knew that but clearly your heart did not get the same memo. And now you were faced with a hard decision and you didn’t know what to do about it. On one hand, you just knew that you weren’t going to be able to fight the connection that pulled you and Baekhyun together but did you really want to be that girl? The one who broke up a seemingly happy home. You could sense the love Jennie had for him, and you could see that he loved her, but you could physically feel the pure love and lust that he had for you. He didn't have that for her, at least not anymore. 

That night, you decided you weren’t going to be that girl. You were going to do your best to avoid him at all costs, avoid eye contact, and avoid being alone in any sort of space with him. Although you wanted to forget he even existed, that didn’t stop you from dreaming of him, again that night. The feeling of his breath on your skin, his hands gliding over your body, his mouth kissing every part of your skin. 

When you woke up in the morning, you were absolutely dreading going to work. You didn’t even want to be in the same vicinity as him but you knew it was unavoidable. As long as you did not end up alone with him. 

**

You had been in your office almost all day and had successfully veered off in the opposite direction of Baekhyun whenever he had tried to approach you. Glancing at the clock, you sigh with relief, you only have an hour and a half left of work for the day, and then you could enjoy the sweet relief of the weekend and could come up with a game plan for the next week. Maybe you could work remotely for the rest of your life? Move somewhere else.. Again. No, you couldn’t run away again. You hated moving, you hated starting over and you sure as hell were not going to let a guy ruin shit for you again. 

The second your clock hit 5 o’clock, you gathered up your things, muttered goodbyes as you walked towards the elevator doors with your head down, making sure not to make any eye contact with anyone. You jammed the down button a few times, hoping it made it come faster, but you knew that it didn’t do shit. As soon as the doors opened, you walked on and pressed the first floor. You watched the doors close, with you being the only one in there and only then realized that you had been holding your breath. You let out a large sigh as you listened to the elevator music, dreaming of crawling into your bed and falling asleep while eating a pizza and binge watching your favorite True Crime show. 

The next morning, you woke up refreshed, covered in pizza sauce and ready to take on the day. You cleaned yourself up quickly before putting on your favorite workout clothes. Lisa had told you good things about a trail that was down near the ocean and you wanted to take in the sights while getting a semi good workout in. You hopped in your car and made your way to the gas station that was halfway between your place to the trail and began pumping some gas before you ran inside to grab water, and some snacks just in case. Walking back out to your car, you stop in your tracks, feeling your face heating up as you see Baekhyun - who was not wearing a suit, pumping gas in his luxurious car. Your entire body was heating up in ways you could not describe as you watched his muscles flex. His shorts hung off his body just right, while the sleeves of his t-shirt clung to his muscles. You moved your hair over your face, clutching your snacks and water as you tried to rush to your car. You wanted to get in your car and peel off, and you almost did but then you remembered the fact that the pump nozzle was still in your car. As quietly as you could, you put the pump back where it belonged and got into your car and took off. That just pissed you right off. What the hell were the chances that Baekhyun would show up at the same god damn gas station at the same fucking time as you. 

You tried to do some deep breaths to calm yourself down but damn that pissed you off. You were trying your hardest to stay away from that man and here he is appearing out of thin goddamn air. 

As soon as you got to the trail you did your best to shake off the anger that was flowing through your body. You took a few more deep breaths, had some water and got out of your car and breathed in the fresh ocean air. You loved the smell of the air around the ocean, there was something different about it compared to the air of the city. You started walking as you plugged in your headphones, listening to your favorite pump up songs. You continued taking deep breaths as your pace picked up, walking along the path on the beach, the waves coming in. You stopped for a moment, watching the surfers, the people laying on the beach. This is what you loved. You smiled as you continued on the path, looking down at your phone while you walked, trying to find a different song, when you bump into someone. You looked up to apologize, but your entire body was on complete fire. Your eyes locked in on Baekhyun's, and you so badly wanted to press your lips against his. 

“Sorry.” You murmur as you move to the side to keep going. You couldn't do this with him, you couldn't even talk to him. It was too hard and you wanted him too much. 

“Y/N.” He called out as you began to walk away. You didn't want to do this. “Y/N stop.” He yells. You keep walking, pushing your headphones in deeper to pretend that you hadn't heard him calling out for you. You could feel the anger and lust building up from your toes, quickly pushing up your legs to your torso before it hit your head. How is he everywhere? You keep walking until you feel something grab your hand. The spark was electric and you knew exactly who it was. He pulled you to a stop, spinning you around at the same time to face him.

“Stop running from me, Y/N.” Baekhyun pleaded. He's desperate, you can see it in his face. 

“I can't do this with you.” You tell him. He can see the desperation in your face as well. The desperate need for him, as well as the desperate need for him to leave you alone. “You're engaged. Whatever you think you want from me, you don't. Go back to your fiance.” You spit. 

You pull your arm away from him, but he grabs it again with his quick reflexes. He spins you towards him, your chest pressing against his. You can feel his heart beating fast, your eyes lock. You can't fight this. You know you're meant to be. “We can't.” You whisper as he leans into you.n His head tilts to the side as he slowly moves in, his lips just hovering over yours. Your eyes close, you can feel his breath, you fucking want this so bad. 

But it never comes. You open your eyes and you're alone. Your lips parted, you were waiting for that kiss. You knew it was wrong but you wanted it. You needed it. You walk back the way you came, you were done with your walk. Your heart hurts. Your whole body hurts. It feels like forever to get to your car, but once you do you slowly start your car and make your way home. The hurt in your body only gets worse as the day goes on. You lay in your bed, withering in pain, before your nose starts to bleed. 

You've never in your life felt worse. Not even when all that shit happened to you before you moved. That feels like nothing compared to this. Eventually you manage to get your nose to settle down, and fall asleep. It was the worst night you'd ever had. You spent the entirety of the next day curled in a ball in your bed, not eating or drinking, strictly sleeping and weeping. 

Monday morning, you dreaded. You got into your office and shut all the blinds. You were an absolute mess. Your hair was slicked back into a bun, you wore whatever office clothes you pulled out of your closet. You're not even sure if they match, and you don't care. Your anxiety was through the roof the entire day, dreading the fact that you might see Baekhyun. 

Fuck you wanted him so badly. 

Tuesday, he wasn't there. Wednesday Or Thursday either. You still took the utility elevator everyday just in case you were to run into him. You really wanted to see him, but you wouldn't let yourself. 

Friday evening, finally the weekend. You were walking towards the elevator in the back, casually glancing over your shoulder to make sure no one else was there, when you saw a figure begin to approach you. Your heart starts to race, but not in the usual way when Baekhyun is around. You calmed down quickly, seeing a coworker you've had quite a few brief interactions with - Shownu. 

He was handsome. Very handsome. He had a good head on his shoulders, a nice smile, good job and just a gorgeous face. 

“Hey, Y/N.” He smiles at you. “Can I ask why you're taking the service elevator?” 

You blush. “I just prefer it.” You smile. “It's faster than the main ones.” You tell him. There's no way you were going to admit you were actively trying to avoid the boss because of an intense sexual attraction you had to him. 

“I can see that.” He says, nervously. His hand rubs the back of his neck as he glances at the floor. “Listen,” he begins. “I was wondering, well hoping that you'd maybe like to go for dinner with me tomorrow night?” 

You're slightly taken aback. That's not what you were expecting, but why not? One date couldn't hurt. 

“Sure.” You grin. “That would be great.” You agree. A large smile spreads across his face in excitement at your acceptance. “Great!” He exclaims. “Should I pick you up? Around 7pm?” He asks. 

You happily nod your head as he says goodbye before walking away. You were excited, and for a little bit your mind was finally off Baekhyun.

** 

Saturday night, 6:58pm, you were ready and waiting for Shownu. You picked out your favorite little black dress, your hair was done exactly how you liked it. You did your makeup as a natural look but you felt absolutely beautiful. You were waiting for a car horn, or a text from Shownu to let you know that he had arrived. You definitely didn't expect to hear a knock at the door. You opened it wide to see a smiley, dressed up Shownu at your door, flowers in hand. 

“Wow.” He exclaimed. “You look stunning.” He finishes, handing you the beautiful bouquet. 

“You look so handsome, thank you.” You reply back. You're nervous but you can't quite pinpoint the reason why. 

“Shall we?” He asks, holding his hand out for you to grab. You do and he leads you to his car, opening the passenger door for you, and shutting it before making his way to the driver's seat. 

The entire drive to the restaurant was spent talking about anything and everything. The conversation flowed so well between the two of you and there was never a pause, never an awkward silence. Even walking into the restaurant, the two of you carried on talking. 

“Right this way to your table.” the hostess smiles, leading you to the middle of the room, to a romantic table for two. As you sit down you can feel the extreme lust filling up your body. You're hot, you can feel your cheeks are flushed but you're hiding behind the menu, so Shownu doesn't notice.

It can't be. He can't be here. Of all the restaurants, he cannot be here right now. “Are you okay?” Shownu asks. 

You lower the menu, looking him in the eyes. “I'm fine, just got very flushed.” You half chuckle, taking a sip of water. You look just past Shownu's shoulder and that's when you see him. Baekhyun sitting with Jennie, his eyes trained on you. It felt like he was going to burn a hole through you with how hard he was staring. You really didn't want to deal with this right now. 

“If you'll excuse me, I'm just going to go to the ladies room.” You say to Shownu, your eyes shifting from Shownu to Baekhyun. 

“Can I order you a drink?” Shownu asks as you stand up. 

“Some wine would be great, thank you.” You smile, walking away to the bathroom. Why was this happening to you tonight?

You push open the door to the bathroom, placing your hands on the sink as your head hangs down. You hear the door open, turning your head to look, and there stands Baekhyun. His eyes are dark as he stares at you. 

“Shownu?” He asks. You can hear the anger in his voice. “Why are you out with him?” 

“He asked me on a date.” You say, facing Baekhyun. “I'm single, I'm allowed to date whoever I want.” You say, turning back towards the mirror. 

“Date? You're dating him?” Baekhyun snaps. 

“Who cares if I am? You're engaged. What are you even doing in here?” You ask him. 

“I don't know.” He mutters. 

“Then I'm leaving.” You sigh, pushing your way past him, reaching for the handle on the door. 

“No.” He says in a husky voice. His hand pushes the door closed. You turn around to face him, he's looking down at you. Neither of you say anything, you're both breathing heavily. 

“Fuck it.” He groans, both of his hands grab your face, pulling you towards him as he presses his lips to yours. You melt into the kiss, his tongue slides into your mouth as the kiss deepens. You can feel his bulge pressing against you and you want it so fucking bad. You move your hand down to rub him, he quickly grabs your hand, pinning it against the door. His lips leave yours, moving to your neck as he takes his free hand, moving it between the two of you. His fingers sneak up the bottom of your dress, slowly making their way between your legs. He gently rubs between your lips, making your legs weak and your knees give out. He moves his fingers into your underwear, and between your lips, pressing onto your clit. You cry out, he lets go of your wrist, and covers your mouth as he starts rubbing you faster. Your eyes roll back as you spread your legs, allowing Baekhyun more room. He moves from your clit, pushing his fingers deep inside of you. He pulls his fingers out, spreading your wetness to your clit, before sliding, twisting back in. His head leans down, his hot breath hits your neck as he rams his fingers inside you. He slowly pulls his fingers out, placing them back on your clit, your cum covering his fingers. He moves his mouth back to yours as you wrap your arms around him, he grinds his clothed cock against you, as he fingers you. You weren't going to last long, you'd been waiting for this for too long. You break away from the kiss, you're both panting as you cry out. 

“Fuck, I'm gonna cum.” You say before your orgasm takes over, making your eyes roll back again and your knees weak as pure ecstasy fills your body. “Oh my god.” You breathe, looking up at Baekhyun who is beginning to back away from you. 

He looks defeated. Guilt suddenly fills you. You didn't mean to do that, but how are you supposed to say no when you know the two of you are so right for each other? 

“Baek..” you start to say his name before he cuts you off. 

“That was a mistake. I love my fiance.” he says. 

Ouch. That hurt. 

“But listen.” You begin. 

“No. You listen. Address me as Mr. Byun from now on, don't look at me or talk to me unless it has to do with work.” He spits. “Tha..that was a mistake. You are a mistake. I love Jennie, and I want her. Not you.” He spits.  

“I'm sure you do love her, Mr Byun.” You snap, beginning to pull open the bathroom door. “But at some point you'll have to admit you want me more.” You finish. You walk out back towards your date, you adjust your dress, your legs still shaking from what happened in the bathroom as you walk back to your date. As you approach the table, Shownu looks up and grins widely at you. “Everything okay?” He asks. 

“Just fine.” You reply. “Now where were we?”

[traincat]

Hey, so quick question: which version of Spider-Man you consider canon? I mean, the writers SAY a lot about the character and while he’s relatively relatable, he’s ALSO a wish fullfiliment kind of person so you can imagine yourself as him.

For example: he’s POOR, so WHY the heck is he still in New York since that's a EXPENSIVE City to live on? He hadn't suffered NEARLY as many tragedies as some other characters like Hulk or Jessica Jones.

Or, he's a loser, but... that's not true at all?? I like Peter, but I can't deny that he isn't necessarily THAT much of a woobie or an overall asshole on occasion (he ain't this saint people tend to claim, if anything he occasionaly behaves like a kid??). To be honest, he kinda has it... easy? Like, he can't have relationships, he's almost NEVER not in one, yet... they claim otherwise.

So yeah, I DO like the little asshole, but Marvel's tendency to retcon and don't show, but tell is... really confusing.

(The only thing that DOES help over that is their admitance it's on purpose, that it's not supposed to be realistic, still... is annoying.)

So I have a direct answer to "which version of Spider-Man do I consider canon" and then I have a lot of more nebulous thoughts about "versions" of characters, reader interpretation, and canon.

My Peter Parker is always going to be 616 Peter, from 1962 through to ugh. Probably about 2014, that's when I personally think the steady downhill slide in characterization that started around Brand New Day entered into irrevocable character damage territory. And I've talked before about how I think, despite what various creators may have said and despite different movie interpretations and the kind of fanon that shows up when you have an extremely large fandom with various levels of interest in actually reading the original-original source material, 616 Peter has traditionally remained a remarkably consistent character. Like yes you have to allow for different writers having slightly different takes, and no superhero who has been written by different creators over decades and decades is ever going to be 100% consistent, but given those factors, and given the character's growth -- like, these are all things that just apply to superhero comics by their very nature, but Peter Parker went five decades where he was a character who just made sense. When I call him fully realized, I really mean it. He feels real and completely fleshed out.

Which is why I kind of feel like the rest of your inquiries veer into more of a discussion on reader interpretation vs actual hard canon fact. And when I say reader interpretation I'm talking about the people who write the comics, too, because again we're working with a medium where fans often become creators, and bring all their own previous interpretations and related baggage with them into the story. Which has pros and cons! I don't mean to make it sound all negative.

I've talked about the relatable trap a lot and that I think there's been a troubling cultural shift from "this character is relatable because he relates to the basic human condition" to "this character is supposed to be relatable so he has to be exactly like me and have all of my exact problems" which feeds back into what you're saying re: "IS Peter a loser? Does he have troubles with girls?" Because it's like, if he's supposed to be a reflection of the Average Comic Book Reader (which I don't think he is) and if the Average Comic Book Reader is a Stereotypical Nerd (insulting implication) then obviously he has to be a loser who has problems with women. But like you said, that's not actually what's reflected in the comics. So what we're up against is this conglomeration of various reader interpretations all kind of tossed together and competing for attention and drowning out the actual comic character. Which is also the problem with calling him wish fulfillment -- whose wishes are we fulfilling? (My wish is to just read good Spider-Man comics currently, so obviously not mine.)

I also think it's a trap to go "well he's poor so obviously he shouldn't live in New York City" when the comics themselves go into this. His aunt and uncle lived in that house for a long time; most likely it's paid off. When he's lived in trendy Manhattan neighborhoods, it's often been in apartments owned by Harry Osborn. Mary Jane pays their bills a lot of the time! We have canon explanations for these things, we don't need to be having arguments about how they're not realistic because at the end of the day, Peter Parker is a fictional character -- writers have the ability to make these things make sense. He's in New York because he is New York; I don't see people jumping at the bit for him to move to Boise, Idaho, or for him to move back to Portland.

I think it's easy to say Peter hasn't had as many tragedies, or has suffered comparatively less than other major comic book figures, but that's opinion. His parents died! His uncle died! His aunt being in ill health in his youth meant an incredible about of responsibility was foisted on him much younger than his peers, leading to a sense of isolation! His girlfriend died! His best friend tried to kill him! Repeatedly! His best friend died! He was cloned! He was convinced that he was a clone and that his whole life was a lie and that he wasn't the real him! His clone, who he viewed as his brother, died! His baby died! On the same night! He thought that his aunt died but actually she'd been replaced by an actress and so he suffered through that grief and loss and tried to move on and then it turned out she wasn't dead! The world assumed his wife was dead for months and his friend group tried to force him to move on! The entirety of One More Day hinges on his inability to move on from the fact that when he instinctively saved his wife from gunfire, he left his aunt in the path of it! Like it's ALL tragedy, it's tragedy all the way down. Spider-Man is a tragedy. But because Peter Parker has earned this false title of being like, a funny little guy who is perpetually in high school and only ever cracks jokes and never engages in Serious Violence or whatever, that gets lost in translation. But for me, that's not a "version" of Peter Parker. That's just misinformation that's unfortunately become popular on a cultural scale and now it's impossible to get away from it. It's not an honest reflection of the source material.

Show, don't tell is the basis of a lot of writing -- whether or not you think that's good advice -- and I think a lot of these issues come down to people looking at small slices of a very large story and thinking that because it doesn't tell them everything in a huge Star Wars credits info dump at the very beginning of the each individual installment of the story that the whole thing doesn't make sense and that they need to "fix" it by declaring that if Peter is poor, he can't live in New York. If he's ever joked about having women troubles, he must be a total loser, so it's not realistic because he's actually always dating someone. Because a bomb didn't go off in his face, he's suffered less than other heroes. But that's not how long running superhero stories work, and sometimes it is necessary to look at the big picture to grasp the smaller details about a character.

[winepresswrath]

I do gotta say tho, even tho I’m mad at aziraphale because he’s being a terrible boyfriend like what you said about the “I forgive you like” because WHAT. But also I really like the way the show really demonstrates the underlying cruelty of heaven and it’s angels. Really shows the hypocrisy of a group of beings who are supposed to do good, especially aziraphale who really buys into the heaven propaganda, who hurts people, particularly the person who means the most to him. Because like you said he fully just takes advantage of that devotion Crowley has for him. Insane, this shwo makes me INSANE

I missed this anon and yeah! The angels were one of my favourite parts of the season, and I think the strongest element aside from Neil Gaiman deciding he's just a simple man who wants to put his otp in situations. They are deeply awful and I kind of love them. They are the exact kind of moralizing hypocrites who are callous and cruel precisely because they think being on team good means everything they do is justified and it's actually impossible for them to be in the wrong (they're angels! is it even possible for them to do the wrong thing?).

but!! To me, they also seem like they're basically kids? Obviously they're not literally children, but there is this very consistent reoccurring joke about how childish/sheltered/immature they are. Muriel is the most obvious example, but the archangels come off like bratty twelve year olds to her sweet little kid.

Gabriel is basically teenager in love flipping off his family as he runs away with his backstreet guy. Uriel is constantly picking at Michael, Michael is playing at being in charge like it's a game, and it's ridiculously easy for both Aziraphale and Crowely to trick them obvious half assed lies. They're not allowed to ask questions! The Metatron treats them like badly behaved kids out past their curfew. At any point an old man with a beard may pop up to scold them and send them home, and they're all scared of doing something wrong by his standards and getting in trouble with this guy who is pointedly not God but who lines up exactly with the pop-culture idea of god the father, and who offers Aziraphale, among other things, a respite from the hard work of figuring out what the right thing to do is for himself. It's fine! You don't have to question the belief system you were born into or make a painful break with everything you've ever known! Aziraphale has had six thousand years on earth to grow up, but the other angels have been sitting in a sterile white box playing "i'm not touching you" games with each other and filing paperwork.

And I think that's extra interesting because this season also really emphasizes:

Heaven has Institutional Problems

Aziraphale isn't the only angel who's unhappy in heaven. Gabriel and Muriel were both completely miserable. They just didn't understand that they were unhappy because they'd never experienced anything else.

Angels who aren't Aziraphale can change and grow! There's very explicitly Gabriel being changed by love and Muriel growing up a bit on earth, and from a more fan-theory angle there's also Jimbriel, who I think is probably basically Gabriel minus the war and six thousand years of playing referee for Michael and Uriel while unleashing an assortment of plague and calamities on earth because that's God's will! Buck up champ.

We also get Gabriel and Beezelebub talking about how their underlings basically live for Armageddon, "if you can call that living." This is so bleak. They've all been on a six thousand year time out just dreaming of the day they get to beat the shit out of each other until they feel better, but it won't work because eternity is just more of the box.

Anyway I think it's going in a distinctly eden adjacent direction. Aziraphale is going to tempt those angels with knowledge and the capacity for change. I have veered so far from your ask anon i'm sorry you're right heaven really went all out on sucking this season & while Crowley and Aziraphale are both fucking it up Crowley refrains from being spectacularly cruel to Aziraphale about it and Aziraphale should learn to return the favour. I forgive you!! I forGIVE you. I forgive YOU. "you can be an angel again" is actually a worse thing to say than "you're a demon. i don't even like you." when he finally picks crowley over heaven i'm going to lose my mind.

[hexusproductions]

Flatline in: Toxicity

Summary: A selection of scenes from the TFP episode “Toxicity”, rewritten to include Flatline, my OC.

Author’s Note: Originally posted 3/2/2024. I quite enjoyed doing this snippet format, focusing on the scenes that would include Flatline rather than writing out the entire episode.

The ground bridge opened, swirling with green and blue light. Three Insecticons barreled through, wings humming as they touched down onto the volcanic rock beneath their pedes. Gathered around the ground bridge, the three watched Hardshell stalk out after them, with Flatline close behind. The Insecticons regarded Hardshell for a moment, waiting for his command as the bridge closed. Flatline’s right servo flexed, the syringe digit primed and ready, as Hardshell growled.

“Divide, and do not hesitate to conquer.” Hardshell raised his fists towards the sky in a gesture of strength. Wordlessly, the three Insecticons flew off in three different dimensions. Hardshell and Flatline transformed into their own respective flight modes. Hardshell travelled forward, in the yet-untaken direction; Ill-suited to travelling alone if things went awry, Flatline followed after him.

————————————————————-

Hardshell came back online with a groan. Slowly, he pulled himself to his pedes, shaking off the pain in his circuitry. The beating of chitinous wings filled the air, and the other three Insecticons circled overhead, grim expressions set on their beetle-like faces as they gathered around Hardshell. Flatline’s pink helm peered out from behind one of the rocks bordering the flat expanse, which had just been Bulkhead and Hardshell’s makeshift arena, and he strode across the space to rejoin the group.

“Do you still think you don’t need me?” A smirk crept into Flatline’s voice as he looked at the twitching nub on Hardshell’s face, which had formerly been his other mandible. Hardshell was sourly looking down, at where the severed end of the mandible lay, stuck into the ground at his pedes. Without moving his visor from the spot, he snarled at Flatline. The medic flinched, taking a quick step back.

“The Wrecker left me alive.” Hardshell paused, and a hiss escaped his maw. “The last mistake he will ever make.” With an inhuman leap upwards, Hardshell quickly transformed. He and the other Insecticons veered around, charging through the air on the trail of the relic. Flatline’s helicopter form flew alongside the sole straggler, rotor blades beating hard.

————————————————————-

As the Insecticon reached inside, muffled beeping emitted from inside of the container.

“No, wait-!” Hardshell exclaimed. The grenade hidden inside went off, exploding in a great burst of flame and force that shunted two of the curious Insecticons backwards. The third one, who had reached inside the container to begin with, wasn’t so lucky - he was blasted off his pedes, landing on his back. Jagged shrapnel of green rock had pierced through the Insecticon’s throat, and he writhed and let out a shriek before falling still, dead within seconds.

The whole thing had happened in less than a moment, too quick for anyone but Hardshell to do anything. But instead of being horrified by the gruesome state of the corpse lying before them all, Flatline perked up in visible interest.

“Oooh…” Flatline’s breathing mask slid over his faceplate, cooing as he hopped forward and crouched beside the fallen warrior. His bright blue optics glimmered with intrigue, and he reached towards the fuming shrapnel. Only for a massive clawed servo to wrap around his shoulder pauldron and yank him back. Flatline stumbled, and he glared at the back of Hardshell’s helm, as the leader stepped forward and leaned down himself. He just as quickly reared back when he recognised the substance, an arm held protectively across his faceplate.

“Tox-En.” Hardshell sneered, slowly backing away.

————————————————————-

The Insecticon corpse trembled and wailed, apparently not as dead as it might have initially seemed. Although, that might have been because of Flatline’s prodding, probing the foul injury with a pair of forceps. He could feel the Insecticons’ optics on his back, and he heard Hardshell’s grunt of irritation, but all of Flatline’s attention was focused on their dying compatriot.

“Lord Megatron. The object we seek, it is…Tox-En.”

The Insecticon whined weakly, and Flatline smiled behind his mask as he used the forceps to tilt its chin up, further exposing the wound and allowing him to record a proper reading of the Tox-En’s toxicity. It’d been a long time since Flatline had bared witness to the substance, and he wasn’t about to waste this wonderful opportunity.

He was vaguely aware that Hardshell and Megatron were still talking over the comm-link. Flatline couldn’t hear Megatron’s side of the brief exchange, but based on Hardshell’s growling tone, he assumed the conversation wasn’t going well.

————————————————————-

“Wrecker!”

Hardshell’s call echoed across the volcano’s solidified summit. Bulkhead looked up as Hardshell swooped down above, circling and landing across from the Autobot. He transformed, and ordered, “Put down the rock, and allow us to put you out of your misery.”

The rest of the Insecticons climbed over the lip of the volcano, claws and fangs bared. The ch-ch-ch of a t-cog joined the thrum of inhuman growling as Flatline touched down alongside them; his right servo hung by his hip, digits curled and blade primed.

Bulkhead’s optics narrowed, looking around at the group of Decepticons that currently had him surrounded.

“Gotta swat some flies…” His balance felt uneasy when he shifted his weight to his other pede, but his expression was set, determined.

Bulkhead took another grenade from his belt, flicking off the pin and throwing it at the feet of the nearest Insecticon. It peered at the grenade for the split-second before the grenade exploded, throwing it back against the rock wall. Hardshell snarled and unsheathed his second pair of arms, the taloned ends razor-sharp and ready to tear through green Autobot plating. The snarl deepened to a roar as Hardshell charged forward. Bulkhead planted his pedes, tightened his grip around the chunk of Tox-En, and thrust it upwards into Hardshell’s throat. Hardshell screamed, clawed pedes struggling for purchase on the molten rocky floor. He was held aloft by the Tox-En, spasming as the false energon’s touch dissolved through his neck cabling.

“Fair warning…” Bulkhead growled through gritted teeth while Hardshell struggled, “I’m contagious.”

The syringe-blade glanced off of Bulkhead’s armour, narrowly missing its intended target of the gap between the metal. Bulkhead winced and glanced back over his shoulder, in time to see the blade’s attached length of cable retract back into Flatline’s arm. Flatline’s optics were narrowed, and looked just as bloodthirsty as the Insecticons’ did.

“Then allow me to administer the cure.” Flatline’s arm snapped forward, the blade shooting forward at the speed of a bullet. It struck into Bulkhead’s back, and Bulkhead bellowed as he felt the weaponised syringe administering something foreign into his body. Flatline rolled his arm with one wide, quick motion. The syringe’s cable hooked up and around Bulkhead’s neck, and yanked. Bulkhead wrenched his helm against it - still forcing the Tox-En forward, not allowing Hardshell any reprieve - but a wave of nausea and weakness wracked his frame, Flatline’s poison adding to the Tox-En’s already overwhelming effects, and he hadn’t noticed the mad doctor rush towards him until Flatline’s other servo suddenly dug into his faceplate, ripping him downwards the rest of the way.

The ground rumbled as Bulkhead fell on his back. Freed from the Tox-En’s burn, Hardshell gasped and stumbled back, falling to all fours.

“You don’t look well, Autobot.” Flatline leered over Bulkhead’s fallen form, the cable still pulling taut against Bulkhead’s neck. Bulkhead blinked wearily, forced to watch Flatline’s lips curl with satisfaction. The rock was still within his grasp, and he tightened his hold around it - nothing else mattered except ensuring he still had hold of it.

Flatline slipped the syringe free of Bulkhead’s back, brandishing it like a knife while the cable was being used to strangle. Beads of energon dripped from the edge.

“Don’t worry,” Flatline pressed the syringe to the gap between Bulkhead’s neck and his chestplate. Flatline’s pseudo-soothing tone was ruined by a building laugh, “I’ll put you out of your misery.” He went to thrust, but Bulkhead’s free servo seized him by the arm. Bulkhead heaved, flipping Flatline over and slamming him into the ground in the same movement. Flatline cried out, plating groaning from the impact, and the syringe had slipped from his grasp. Bulkhead untangled the cable from around his neck and sucked air into his ventilation systems, doing his best to clear his aching processor.

Hardshell hadn’t strayed from the battle; he circled Bulkhead and Flatline, still low on all fours like a predator stalking its prey. The growl however was from Flatline, who rose to a half-crouch, the syringe-blade lashing at the air as it winched back into his servo with a soft snick. Bulkhead dragged himself to his pedes, eyeing them both. Flatline lunged forward, attempting to inject him again. Bulkhead pitched himself out of the way and punched Flatline in the back. The medibot wasn’t built for fighting, and the impact pounded him back down onto the ground with enough force to make his processor spin. Bulkhead did himself, Hardshell, and maybe even Flatline a favour by grabbing the Decepti-Doc by the rotor blades and tossing him across the expanse of the summit. Flatline slammed into the rock with a pained shout.

On Bulkhead’s flank, another Insecticon took the opportunity to transform and charge. Bulkhead was ready for it, and swung around the chunk of Tox-En, knocking the bug out of the air. Dazed on its back, it couldn’t do anything to stop Bulkhead walking up to it, and slamming the Tox-En down against its stomach.

“Hold this.” Bulkhead ordered, as if it had a choice. The Insecticon groaned, horned head falling in defeat. With it out of the way, Bulkhead turned and placed all of his attention back onto his main adversary: Hardshell. The two circled each other, optics locked, and hackles raised.

————————————————————-

Bulkhead’s servo retracted, deploying his giant mace. He wound back, and hit Hardshell with everything he had.

Hardshell toppled, stumbling back until his heels reached the edge of a hole in the volcano’s otherwise sealed peak. Barely managing to catch himself, Hardshell glanced down at the smouldering crater, and then back towards Bulkhead. His mouth fell open in a warbling cry as he saw Bulkhead heave the piece of Tox-En towards him.

“Catch!” Bulkhead called. The rock slammed into Hardshell’s empty servos. The force pushed the Insecticon over the last of the distance, and he fell into the crater with a shocked scream.

The air felt clearer, apart from one last presence on the volcano alongside Bulkhead. He turned, locking optics with the last Decepticon left on the mountain. Flatline stared back at him. Bulkhead’s ventilation systems heaved, his shoulders hunched. His gaze bore into Flatline, and his mace was still held at his side, ready to bludgeon whatever threat remained.

Flatline glared at Bulkhead. He looked to the smouldering crater, where the last of his muscle had vanished into, and then back to the Wrecker. Bulkhead’s helm lowered, increasing the furrow in his brow. Wordlessly, Flatline took a step back, and then transformed. He knew his chances were abysmal in a one-on-one fight, so he chose to take off, retreating from the volcano.

————————————————————-

The mission had failed. Megatron was going to be…unhappy, to put it mildly. Flatline doubted he’d be able to avoid being reprimanded for his failure, not when he’d been assigned to assist the platoon of Insecticons. Maybe, hopefully, the Insecticons would receive the greater share of Megatron’s wrath. On the bright side, at least Flatline had escaped in better shape than Hardshell or Bulkhead.

And besides, there were other prizes more valuable than a simple victory.

Flatline chuckled, and increased his speed through the open sky. Safely nestled within his cabin, a sealed beaker rattled from the movement of its contents within. Through the flask’s thick glass, the murky glow of Tox-En shards, which Flatline had stolen from the fallen Insecticon’s throat, swirled with silent promise.

[highlifeboat]

Ayyy, you too? I started with the third game (found a playthrough online, got interested, very awkward discussion with a cashier in front of my mom upon buying it) and then played the other two when I found them later. I think at the very least Shaundi carried a torch for Gat, personally - be it romantic or just some obscure hero worship, since he apparently looked out for her. Sometimes it seems to veer towards sibling vibes, imo, but it's hard to say. He was pretty solidly in love with Aisha. Also Kinzie was amazing and an absolute *freak* (said with love, respect, and a healthy dose of intimidation - girl did not apologize for her interests/vibe and I respect that)

BRUUH, I got exposed to this game, I think through a play through of 4 actually, and then went back and watched a play through of 3. Then I found 3 at a discount store so I grabbed it. And I've never been the same.

The more I've played this series the more I've decided they have a friend/sibling thing. Like a weird younger sister admires older brother who keeps her safe type relationship. Arguably, Shaundi liked Gat, but I don't think he ever liked her. I mean, in one of the SR3 DLC you chase a giant mutant clone of him and lure him out with Pierce dressed as Aisha. And even clone Gat is still head over heels for her. He gives the vibes of a one-woman man.

Kinzie is fucking wild, and I love it. She's so blunt and unapologetic and mater of fact. Plus her beef with Matt Miller is so funny to me. That man breaths in her direction and she wants him dead. (To be fair he did get her kicked out of the FBI I think, but still. They bicker like teenagers in two separate cliques). We love a nerdy dominatrix queen.

[warpfive]

okay, second try. b'elanna + being protective of reader on an away mission !

b'elanna torres x reader

CW: gn!reader, creepy alien

she absolutely doesn’t hide her emotions very well. you’ve always had an easier time than most when it comes to looking past b’elanna’s hot temper and knowing how she’s really feeling. her anger doesn’t always come out because she’s pissed off - it’s also when she’s scared, frustrated, confused, sleep-deprived, hungry…

so when you accompany her down to some backwater planet full of thugs and she loses sight of you for a few minutes and finally spots you after thinking the worst, her mood instantly flips.

b’elanna demands to know where you went. you tell her you weren’t very far, just inspecting a compound being sold in one of the vendors - that was the whole point of the mission, wasn’t it? potentially finding another source of fuel for voyager? not having to rely solely on a single energy source?

you’re right, of course. b’elanna just doesn’t want to admit how worried she got when you disappeared, even if it was for a few short minutes. but she knows what happens in these kinds of places if you aren’t careful - and to be quite honest, if it comes down to you or some magical power source for the ship, b’elanna is going to choose you.

so she’s careful. always has one eye on her tricorder and the other on you (she’s good at multitasking - every engineer has to be.) none of these aliens have ever seen a klingon before but they seem smart enough to veer away whenever one is glaring at them from across the market if they stray too close to you, innocently trying to do your job.

but one man was foolish enough to try. b’elanna wasn’t sure if it was you he wanted, or your technology, or both. his grip on your arm was too tight to be friendly. the sneering look on his face causing a frightened one on yours, and you didn’t even have enough time to try and reach for your phaser before b’elanna was on him. a clean, hard punch against his jaw while yelling out obscenities managed to scare him off. b’elanna wanted to do more. she hung back because you touched her shoulder.

“thanks,” you tell her. “i told you to stay close,” she answers. “i know. you’re right.”

she thinks you’re placating her. the reflex to keep arguing surged, but she pushed it down. if she caused a fight, you might want to drift away again and this call was much too close. b’elanna tempted to have voyager beam you back up, and just as her hand came up to tap her badge, you gasped at the tricorder, grabbed her arm, and pulled her in the direction of the energy signature. 

of course, as luck would have it, the material you found was compatible with voyager, but wasn’t a great long term solution. b’elanna gets a little annoyed, feeling like the away mission (and the danger it put you in) was all for nothing. next time they come across some shady place, she’ll have to ask the captain to keep you onboard.

but you didn’t see it that way! later that day, when you two were tired and discouraged, you talked about how nice it was to get away from the ship, just the two of you. b’elanna scoffed, not believing that you actually had fun in that hovel and being grabbed at by dangerous creeps.

you simply replied that you knew b’elanna wouldn’t let anything bad happen to you. and if that wasn’t enough to surprise her, you continued in saying that spending time with her, even in an awful place like that, was enough for you.

and b’elanna decided to scrap her idea of talking to the captain.

[7grandmel]

Todays rip: 05/05/2024

Hangin With Shaq

Season 3 Featured on: Inspector Gunner 2 With Critic

Ripped by Sharmin8r

Requested by fezaki! (Request Form)

Doki Doki Literature Club, huh...yeah, like, I've covered a rip or two from this game already - Your Silent Reality was one I chose to cover on my birthday as its one of my all-time favorites the channel has ever made - but even there, I don't believe I went too deep into covering the game's presence on SiIva. Then again, I'm not sure if that's something I could succinctly write about on here either, the game and Monika in particular have ebbed in and out of relevancy to SiIva for so long, and at this point I don't really know what to make of it all. She exists like a presence lurking in the back of it all, a secret underlying piece of channel lore that we're yet to really know what to make of, lurking underneath the rips' cheery silliness, mirroring the very game they're all from perfectly. And to be clear, Hangin With Shaq has very little to do with said lore - but it works so well as a rip for that very same contrast, that of an ominous underbelly contrasted with SiIvaGunner's patented silliness.

Because like, if you've played DDLC, or if you had it spoiled for you all the way back when - you KNOW the context in which Sayo-nara plays in. It is the very moment that DDLC's tonal shift hits you square in the jaw, the once cheerful tune of the game's title theme is twisted into something eerie and unsettling...and keep in mind, Hangin With Shaq was uploaded during the very end of the Nostalgia Critic Takeover, when the channel's avatar and theming was very explicitly in reference to Monika DDLC, you'd be ready for ANYTHING at that point...and then the joke kicks in. You've been played like a fiddle - now watch as we turn this theme of grief and introspection into a trap remix.

Like, okay, it is the same key trait of juxtaposition that I've talked about with The Great Weed and My Dr. Eggman Can't Be This Evil! and many times before - but something about DDLC's prior prominence on SiIva, that feeling that Monika is going to pop up at any moment to start shit, just adds to the absurdity of Hangin With Shaq. An eerie tune that I was initially half-expecting to spiral completely out of control along the lines of Become As Gadget instead hard-veered in the opposite direction - and right as THAT has settled in, the titular Big Shaq joins in. Yeah, Big Shaq, remember him, the "Two plus two is four, minus one that's three, quick maffs" guy? With the trap beat and remix already established, his vocals added atop is just like the cherry on top, the perfect way to round out Hangin With Shaq as a fantastic bait-and-switch. Its as if Sharmin8r looked at the audience and said aloud: "You thought it couldn't get stupider? watch this!!", yet the absurdity of the mashup only helps it bang all the more, to where you almost forget the ominous, heartbreaking context from which Sayo-nara originally plays.

I'm sure my lore and atmosphere-bias has sort of angled this post in a strange light for a lot of you, but the essentials remain the same - Hangin With Shaq is just a really funny bit. The Nostalgia Critic event, beyond its eerie lore connotations, was all about channeling the old Season 1 feel of the channel, and complete 180s like this were what that season was all about. There are tons of these simple little nuggets strewn about the channel's life, and I'm really glad that people are requesting rips like these to me, giving me a chance to re-experience so many forgotten little side shoots of SiIvaGunner's history. Who can say what Monika is up to nowadays? - but that hardly matters when her presence gave way for silly shit just like Hangin With Shaq.

[oldcoyote]

aflockofravens replied to your post:

I started writing a fic in Sept that is well over 70K now and nowhere close to being finished and the sheer volume of what was done vs what needed to be done was so overwhelming to me that I just…closed out of the doc and haven’t revisited it in months. I started a *second* fic that is now nearing that length and again I am experiencing creative burn out and writing fatigue. I went from writing thousands of words daily to barely touching the doc in weeks. 1/? It’s so easy to get overwhelmed about stuff when you’re in the thick of it. I have to keep reminding myself that I’m doing my best and that people will like it (or not) regardless of how long it takes me to publish my next chapter. I remember reading your stuff back in the neaf days and I loved your work, and I honestly can say I would not mind delays for things I’m excited to read. There was a fic I read waaaay back in the day that was not finished until 2021. 2/? I myself had a fic on hiatus for 5 years, went back and finished it and still got comments from readers who had been excited to finish it. The right people will appreciate whatever effort you put in and will understand that life happens and sometimes updates take a bit. Don’t worry about the rest. Sorry if that got a little rambly, I just wanted you to know you aren’t alone in this 3/3

i think because i have such an aversion to WIPs myself, i originally decided to write the full story and then edit it and then post it chapter by chapter, week by week. but that's only because of my own anguish over some of the most incredible stories i've started reading never being finished, and not wanting to do the same

it makes it fucking HARD though, not having that feedback and support throughout the process. sometimes i wonder if posting chapter by chapter as i finish them - if getting kudos and comments regularly coming in - would help me write better, or more, through the longer process

i'm so torn about it. i see the benefits to both but can't decide. one of the worst neaf fics i ever wrote was posted as i wrote it, and it caused me to veer off in a less than stellar direction with the story. i don't want to repeat that, either.

OOF it's so damn hard. thank you so much love, it's a huge relief to know i'm not alone!

[thescions]

salvia && rose - thancred

Botanical Headcanons | Accepting

salvia : is your muse possessive over people or things that matter a lot to them ? how do they express that possessiveness , or lack thereof ?

While Thancred treasures those he considers close to him, he has certain deep-seeded issues that make him want to fling the things he wants most as far as possible away from him, as he feels he does not deserve such people in his life.

Thancred has been exceedingly hard on himself since the death of Minfilia's father, which he to this day still blames himself for. As an orphan himself, he struggled to forgive himself for taking Warburton away from her. He since then worked to be whatever necessary to make it up to her: to be her spy, her protector, her brother.

Of course, he could only ever stand to do so from a distance. He went on missions and only stuck around long enough to report in and get another. Then when Thancred was entrusted with the one-day-WOL's safety in investigating the Amalj'aa, the only reason they survive is because of some supernatural ability they have.

Again, his mistake could have gotten someone killed. Again, only proof of his being not good enough. Proof of his failure.

No one is perfect, and so when Thancred inevitably makes a mistake, all it ever does is reinforce his belief that he is not good enough. Although the events of Shadowbringers helps to soften this low opinion of himself, he still cannot quite pull himself out of it. It is a lifelong habit that will take a lot of active, self-directed growth to occur. And so, he is still far more comfortable playing the persona of an elusive playboy spy with few strings attached -- even if that in and of itself, too, is merely one of his many masks.

Rose : how much does your muse value other people ? do they wish to have many friends , lovers , and/or associates ? are they an easy person to love ?

Despite his extensive skillset and personal expertise, Thancred recognizes he is absolutely useless without his people. This extends to fellow agents in the field in addition to the Scions themselves. He has many, many contacts -- and most of those don't even know he's associated with the Scions. A spy is nothing without a network. That was one of the first things his mentor in Sharlayan taught him.

That being said, having to constantly function under a pretense is exhausting. It is work. He's come to view the process of getting to know new people and forming new bonds as a chore. At best, he avoids it. At worst, he'll shift into one of his appropriate personas (usually the charming one) in order to satisfy the present need.

Once you have proven yourself a recurring presence in his life, however, Thancred's professionalism may eventually veer into genuine curiosity. Prove yourself worthy of his respect or experience a traumatic event together, and he may just invite you out for a drink or two. It isn't that he dislikes people; he simply prefers to keep his social circle small. It lessens the distress if one of them dies, too.

As for being easy to love? No. He is not. One cannot be easily loved when one does not love themself. Thancred knows this and yet will not take any steps to change or fix that. Why? Because he hates himself. Go figure.

[bluegoblinzz]

Venting to Father Moon

I felt tired after the ritual was over. It was exhausting, constantly having to remember where to put each exact demonic symbol on the circle, based on what stars were in the sky, having to chant for hours and hours, putting every ounce of energy into the spell… We ended up failing yet again. But nonetheless, I needed to cheer myself up. Even if we had failed, we worked hard and I had to recognize that. 

My first stop that evening was a coffee shop. The shop was mostly empty at this hour, but a hydra-woman in front of me argued with herself about what to buy. One head wanted a chocolate chip muffin, one head wanted an ambrosia latte, and one head wanted a slice of moon-flower cake. The ogre behind the counter’s eyes were half closed, his unibrow scrunched downward, and his tusks reaching above his upper lip in a pout. He looked so tired I thought he needed a hug, but I couldn’t tell if I actually thought that, or if I just wanted a hug. As the hydra heads argued some more I looked outside at the setting sun, eager for the moon to show itself. 

Soon, it was my turn to go up to the counter. 

“One hot chocolate please!” I chirped. The ogre raised his unibrow, and looked to my ears and at my tail. 

“Oh, I can have chocolate,” I explained, “it’s just a myth that werewolves can’t eat it. Adlets though, they can’t eat any.” The ogre sighed. 

“Name?” 

“Nico, sir.” 

I spaced out while he made my drink, and I looked out the window at each person who passed. Tiny blue pixies zipped by in a hurry. A dragon man in a suit and tie was yelling into his phone, and shouting something about stocks. A tall burly minotaur stomped by, holding a tablet close to his snout with one hand, scrolling with the other. There was the occasional werewolf who passed by, each one looking more wolfish than the rest as the sun kept setting, going from just having black noses and pointed ears, to fully having a wolf’s head. Conversations each of them had slowly went from words to barks and growls.

“Here ya go, man,” the ogre said. His words made me flinch and shook me back to reality, to remembering I was a person, and not just a people-watcher. 

“Thank you, sir!” I said. I tipped him two obsidian, and ended up tipping him an extra two when I tasted how magically delicious he made the hot chocolate. It was thick and it wasn’t too sweet or too bitter.

When I stepped out into the moonlight, I pulled my hoodie over my head, and kept my head down. I felt the moon reaching out for me, but I had to tell the moon:  “not yet.” I followed the sidewalk away from the center of town. My ears perked up to the river next to me, with its rushing water, and splashing of paddles and rafts nearby. The ever-raging whirlpools in the middle of each stream, which caused the two lanes to flow in opposite directions, roared like white noise. I tried to get out of town unseen, but I was unsuccessful, as a werewolf in a maroon hoodie pulled his boat over, and looked up at me.

“Yo! Are you the dark prince!?” He spoke in a series of rapid barks, but I could understand him. My heart sank. I was not in the headspace to speak at the moment, feeling as if there was a weight in my stomach, but I didn’t want to be a jerk, so I didn’t ignore him. 

“Yep! That’s me!” I chirped.

He pulled out a plastic bone and a pen and handed it to me. 

“You’re awesome, dude! Can you sign my bone?!” 

I signed his bone but then I stupidly thought the interaction was over. I took a step to walk away, but then he asked to take a picture. I took a selfie with the werewolf; he took it with the bone in his mouth, pointing one of his claws at me, and I just managed a sheepish smile. I never understood why I got attention, my father was the one to look at. 

The river eventually veered away and I was left alone walking in the field. I sat down in the grass, took my hood off,  and looked up at the moon. In the moonlight I felt more comfortable and more at ease. I let the weight of today fully hit me, fully acknowledging how tired I was, how lost I felt. I was afraid, afraid of what could come next, wondering how many more rituals would go wrong, and how much worse they could get. I was worried my friends would either stop being my friends or they would stop being… Anything could happen… 

“Hi dad,” I said, looking up at the moon above, “today was very tiresome. I’m really happy to see you.” I allowed the changes to overcome me, my feet scrunching into paws, and my nose turning black, as it and my mouth pulled forward into a muzzle. I leaned my head back, shut my eyes tightly, and sang… 

“Aawrooooo!” 

I called out into the night and paused,  hearing my voice echo into silence, I took in a deep breath and sang once more, feeling my father’s embrace as his silver rays brushed across my dark fur. I called out for him, pouring my longing and my fear into my song, and the more I sang, the closer I felt drawn to him, the closer I felt his presence in the silver rays themselves, my song went from a cry of pain and fear, to a cry of joy that he was here. 

But when I opened my eyes again, I saw and felt how far away he was. I looked up at him, the moon, and tilted my head, curling my ears backward. He spoke without words, and I watched him, listened to him, and awaited his guidance, and when I no longer heard him, I would sing to him once again. 

[loopspoop]

……….

Without speaking, Jigen and Goemon ran in two directions, each hoping it would help them to find their missing friend. Goemon chose to veer to the right of the door. He was beginning to worry. What if they had just lost Lupin for good? It was possible. 

In this snow, it was going to be significantly harder to track him down. Then again, they had already found him once already. So there was some hope.

……….

It had been over thirty minutes since they had lost track of Lupin. Jigen was beginning to go numb from the cold and he desperately needed a cigarette. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could continue trudging endlessly through the snow before going mad. He wasn’t even sure if he was still within the confines of the town, or if he had managed to leave it altogether. Though it did seem as if the snow was beginning to let up. That would certainly help in the search. That was if Lupin was still outside somewhere instead of hiding. If he had resorted to hiding, there was no chance of tracking him down for a while. He cursed himself. He should have stopped Lupin before he escaped. Or not allowed things to get so bad so fast. How had he not noticed that things were as bad as they were? Lupin was his partner. He should have noticed all of the strange clues before anyone else had. So why hadn’t he?

……….

Goemon was growing tired. He began to accept the idea that they would not be able to find Lupin, at least for now. But then, a sound ripped him from his thoughts. It had come from his far right, in an alleyway. He went towards the sound, and upon entering the alleyway, he noticed a small green shape on the other side. He heard the sound again. It was several hard coughs one right after another. They were almost reverberating within themselves, and it made Goemon feel sick. It sounded painful. And that thought wasn’t helped by the sight before him. Lupin was doubled over, shaking, and seemed to be gasping for air.

He gently placed Zantetsuken against a wall, and approached Lupin slowly and quietly. 

“Hello?” 

Lupin turned around, clearly spooked. He then attempted to stand up, likely to attempt to run away again, but he only managed to get about halfway up.

Goemon showed his hands, displaying the missing Zantetsuken, “I will not harm you.”

Lupin sat back down, though still on alert. Goemon began to think of a way to get Lupin to somewhere safe. At least safe enough for a short time, while they attempted to gain his trust. If he could get Lupin to the car then they could at least stay there for a time, assuming Zenigata and his cohort had already moved on. And perhaps, given the situation, he might look the other way. But first he needed to convince Lupin.

“I know of a place where…” 

Just as he was going to offer a place to rest, Lupin slumped against the wall in another coughing fit before going limp. It surprised Goemon, and he hoped that it was from exhaustion rather than a concussion or some other cause. But it would certainly make his job easier. He considered himself lucky for that. He did not look forward to tracking down the car while carrying an unconscious man though. 

He picked Lupin up, retrieved Zantetsuken from the entrance of the alleyway, and went in search of the Fiat or Jigen.

……….

The snow had nearly completely stopped and the fog had lifted. Jigen was at his wits end. How had this all gone so wrong? Where had he been that night that had been so important that he hadn’t been able to go back in to find Lupin? To make sure he was okay? It was supposed to be an easy job to make a quick million or so each. Nothing big at all. And yet here they were, stuck in this tiny village searching endlessly for Lupin with no hope of ever finding him again. He wasn’t even sure where he was anymore. He was in town. He had confirmed that a few minutes ago when the buildings had become visible again. But beyond that, he was completely lost.

……….

Zenigata had gathered his men into a small craft store to wait out the storm, and it finally seemed like they would be able to return to their manhunt. He had gotten his confirmation that the gang was still in town. So, he knew he was on the right track, as long as they hadn’t left in the blizzard. He doubted it. The Fiat was surely buried in snow and it would take some time to retrieve it from the several inches that had appeared.

He rose and turned to his men. It was time to give the order to return to their search. He decided it would be best to split into three groups so that they could cover the entire town in less than in an hour. It wouldn’t take too long for the other two groups to join if anyone was found. He usually didn’t like the method when dealing with Lupin, but he needed to find him as quickly as possible.

……….

Lupin was getting heavier on Goemon’s back. And the heat emanating from him worried Goemon more and more. Though, at the same time, it was comforting with how cold it was outside. He was growing tired. He wanted to rest, but he knew that if he stopped now, he wouldn’t be able to continue at all.

He started to vaguely recognize the buildings around them. He was finally making progress towards the car. That was good. He could rest soon and figure out what to do with Lupin.

He heard several weak coughs directly behind him. Lupin was waking up.

……….

>:3 limp noodle ass Lupin. Also Zenigata and his boys in the craft store just made me imagine them all chillin’ doing some crafts, so thanks for that image that will live rent free in my head forever anon 😌

[stillachildatheart]

Thirty and Thriving

An update for the blog.

Hey there. It's been literally years since I came back to this blog again. My life has grown and veered off in so many different directions, it somehow made reading through all my previous posts feel like I was a vapid, air-headed teenager that didn't know enough about life. Haha.. I guess at some point, we all look back at our teen years and cringe. I am thirty this year. Can you believe it? I can't! I have so many white hairs on my head now, I've almost given up trying to color it back. My joints ache on and off. I'm taking supplements to help maintain some vitality (or at least give me the placebo effect that I'm doing something about my vitality). 18 year old me would have been horrified to see how she had grown up. =P

But you know what? I am proud of where I am. I struggled through depression and plenty of mental abuse from my parents to be where I am today. They still do abuse me every now and then but somehow, being 30 gave me the freedom to ignore it and move on with my life. Not to say that the things they say doesn't bug me, but I think I've gained the capacity to move past it and not let it bother me for too long. That fuck it attitude may rub others the wrong way... but fuck it. I worked too hard to gain it, if you don't like it then it's not my problem. As always, paiya was and has been a constant rock and an inspiration for me. Yes, we're still together. We've been married for over a year now, in fact. LDR success story, huh? <3 Over 12 years of being in a relationship (and a long-distance one at that) and just over 6 months of living with each other.. even I cannot fathom where all that time went. After reading through some of my earliest posts about him yesterday, I told him one thing when we were in bed last night. After all these years, I'm living the way I dreamed of. Taking care of our home together, cooking and eating together, exploring the world together.. these were things that the 17 year old me would have been wildly hoping for but would have not believed would eventually happen.

I am happy. For someone who went through clinical depression ever since I set foot into medical school, this statement is like feeling the sun on your face for the first time after a long and hard winter. I am genuinely happy. Of course we have our issues and disagreements. We end up hurting each other at times and also irritating each other. But the love is always there, and we always work our way back to it together. The love we have feels like it has grown and matured into something beautiful and solid. It fills my heart with so much of strength and courage to face the world, as long as he is by my side. It's awesome.. that feeling.

If only my relationship with my parents was that easy. Being in a healthy relationship with my husband made me realize how toxic my own family was to me. I knew they were the main reason I ended up depressed, but I'm still identifying all the trauma responses in me due to the way I was treated when I was young. Trying to unlearn my defense mechanisms and relearn healthier ones has been a major challenge for me since I started living together with paiya. Because my defense mechanisms protect my emotions but are in turn toxic and hurtful to him. I ended up unintentionally straining our relationship a few times all because I didn't know how to regulate my emotions safely. And yes, I blame my upbringing for that. Don't get me wrong. They did their responsibility as parents well. They go above and beyond, in fact. But that comes with a massive pile of expectations that is masked as love and wanting the best for me. If I choose not to conform to those expectations, I am a disappointment and failed them as their daughter. For a long time, the emotional burden of trying to fulfil their expectations drained the life and soul out of me. I worked hard to shed that, but I'm still a work in progress.

To them, the fact that I decided not to specialize is the biggest disappointment. They feel that I'm squandering my education and I'm being very complacent in my position. They hate the fact that I'm not working in a hospital anymore, because apparently doctor's working in a Klinik Kesihatan are not doctors. -_- I survived through housemanship, I survived working as an MO in medical for a year and ETD for almost 2 years. I've never felt at home as much as working in a KK has felt. Not only am I using my medical knowledge more, there is the unbeatable fact that I am working office hours now. I have weekends... after 5 years of working, I am finally experiencing weekends like everyone else. So they can say all they want, but I've come to a point where my sole focus is to keep myself happy.

If I'm not happy, there's no way I can keep anyone else around me happy. So that is my main priority. I struggled to do a degree I didn't like for their sakes. I'm not about to repeat the same thing again for a master's degree, just because they want to see me become a specialist. If I choose to do it, it will be because I genuinely want to put in the effort for it. Not because they want it.

So yeah... as you can guess, a lot has happened in the last 10 years. At the end of the day, I am content with where I am right now and I guess that's all that matters. :)

[silverskye13]

So @theminecraftbee wrote a really cool Scar vex fic and I’ve been a Scar and Cub as vex’s kick lately so I uh,,, wrote something up really quick? I dunno, it was just a really cool premise. It’s a lotta words though so response fic under the cut!

Cub should’ve seen this coming - which is to say he had no reason to see this coming, but the signs were there, so he shouldn’t have been surprised. He was surprised anyway, but you know, hindsight and all that jazz. Hindsight, and maybe wishful thinking? And willful ignorance could be thrown in there for good measure as well.

See, yesterday, he’d been laying down some sand in his desert, and he’d felt something. It was a hard-to-describe something, but if he had to place it, he’d say it was a bit like being missed by the arrow that should’ve killed him. Something grazed past his heart - where it had surely been heading - and nicked his ribs over his left lung. If it were a real arrow, that was close enough to still kill him, which was honestly pretty unsettling. It wasn’t a real arrow though, the arrow thing was just a convenient metaphor. What it actually was, was magic, so it didn’t matter if it’d missed him by fathoms or a frog’s hair, it still missed. Well, maybe if they’d been aiming for his lungs it would’ve mattered, but most spells went for the center if they didn’t just strike out wildly in every direction, so outside of recognizing it’d happened with a shiver, Cub felt pretty confident in ignoring whatever-it-was that had missed him. He was pretty sure he already knew anyway, these things happened by accident sometimes. Stopped clocks twice a day, and all that.

Cub was a vex. Cub is a vex? Depending on the day you ask him, and the time, and the circumstances, Cub may or may not be a vex. Outside of the occasional prank, and some (mostly) friendly PvP, he hadn’t been too terribly vex-y in a long time, but being a vex doesn’t leave someone quite as easily as being human might. At least, Mumbo sure had trouble holding onto his humanity, so Cub figured being human was an easy thing to lose. He wouldn’t know; he wasn’t human. He liked to think he put on a good human face though, as much as a vex could. He and Scar both did, really. They’d taken great pains to sever their ties to evokers and mages, purposefully unwrote their true names from a lot of ledgers. And summoning books. And memories. Cub had even ended a few lives over it, he’d been that dedicated to the whole “I’m totally human now” bit. It was a fact he didn’t regret. Sure, he craved that indescribable high of evoker magic sometimes, and killing mobs didn’t give him the same innervated rush that killing players for an evoker did - but that was mostly the magic talking anyway, and he had learned to live without it.

The magic that missed him yesterday felt a lot like evoker magic though. The summoning kind, specifically. Stopped clocks twice a day - sometimes that happened. Vex and their True Names were a lot more straightforward than people thought they were. There were only so many words in so many tongues that could be used to describe so many things, so sometimes an evoker would summon a vex, and their name would share a few syllables with Cub’s, and Cub would feel it. The magic would reach its hands for him, ready to yank him towards whoever was speaking, and then correct itself when someone else was finally specified. The only troubling thing about this particular brush with a summon, was how close to his center it hit. Most grazes were something he felt in the air, whizzing by his head as they veered off sharply to someone else in the universe. The closest one he’d ever felt before this had hit him in the shoulder, and that had been shortly after they’d cut their ties with the illigers and their ilk, so he was reasonably sure it was someone testing their luck with the scary ex-vexes who were tearing up the place. 

Having someone get summoned so close to his center was, well, troubling. He shivered, thought about how close that’d been, decided it wasn’t worth his time and kept placing sand -- and then he’d found himself thinking about it again. Should he check on Scar? Scar would’ve felt that too, wouldn’t he? Their names were pretty similar. That was kind of a side effect of being close friends with someone, your True Names changed the more habits you took on of each other. True Names were more straightforward than most people thought they were - but they still had their nuance. Cub had finally sated his worry on the fact that, if it had been Scar, surely their names were so similar by now that Cub would’ve been summoned with him, so Scar was probably fine. He’d gone back to placing sand, and pretending he wasn’t worried. He’d been pretending he was human remarkably well for several years now - pretending enough that most people who didn’t know him well thought it was true - so surely if he pretended really hard he wasn’t worried, well, he wouldn’t be.

That was yesterday.

This was today.

Today, Cub was worried, and he definitely should’ve seen this coming.

 Grian and Scar landed in his desert, Grian looking incredibly nervous, and Scar looking, well... He looked remarkably Scar in ways that Scar hadn’t looked in a very long time. He looked vex, and Grian had the magnetic aura of a summoner, so intense and cloying Cub took a few steps away from him when he landed. The air was a livewire of illager magic that was, honestly, threatening just by proximity. He felt like if he reached out a hand he could touch it, and if he could touch it, he would get bit by it, and the summon that had missed him yesterday would find some way to turn around and stick itself right through his chest and bind him. It probably wouldn’t - magic didn’t really work like that - but it felt like it.

“Uh, hey guys. What can I help you with?” Cub asked with - well, he wanted to smile, but Scar had started grinning in a very unnerving vex-like way when they made eye contact, so instead of smiling Cub’s expression settled somewhere closer to baring his teeth and grimacing. 

“Well, I feel like I should start by saying this was a complete accident,” Grian laughed, too loud to be anything but scared, “It was a joke, you know, and also I kind of panicked.”

“Since when did you know illager magic?” Cub asked.

“You know! I wondered the exact same thing,” Scar interrupted brightly, and Cub winced at the stilted magical echo in his voice, “Great minds think alike, huh Cubby?”

“I don’t think we’re thinking alike right now, man,” Cub took one more step back away for good measure, like the extra distance would help him if -- if what? “So why are you guys here?”

“Well! I can’t figure out how to break the spell,” Grian snapped, looking at Scar worriedly - Scar, who had taken to standing with his arms crossed behind his back and a mischievous smirk screwed onto his face, watching Cub with an unsettling sort of knowingness, “Illagers don’t really write this stuff down, and Scar kills every evoker I get close to-”

“You summoned me to protect you,” Scar hummed calmly.

“But I want you to stop!” Grian shouted, and Scar just smiled down at him for a moment, before sliding his gaze back in Cub’s direction. 

“Anyway,” Grain huffed out a sigh, “I went to Xisuma to see if he knew something? But he and Evil X are being weird, and finally Xisuma told me to talk to you, so…”

Grian splayed out his hands in front of him, “How do I undo this?”

Cub mustered his most nonchalant shrug, “You don’t.”

“I don’t?” 

“Yeah, summons are for a lifetime of the creature kind of deal.”

“You’re joking, Cub.”

“Lucky for you, you own a sword,” Cub continued, finding it harder to make eye-contact with Grian when he looked so horrified, but bravely managing it regardless, “Dealer’s choice if you want to kill him or if you want to fall on it. Make sure you both set your spawn somewhere convenient though.”

“Cub.”

“Well isn’t this grim talk,” Scar grinned, crossing his arms and leaning them on Grian’s shoulder, “Sure you could kill me and end all the fun, but that would be kinda boring, wouldn’t it?”

“Don’t let him talk you out of it,” Cub said warningly, “That’s the vex talking.”

“Honestly, I don’t know a better person this could’ve happened to,” Scar hummed close to Grian’s ear, “You’re all the time playing pranks on people Grian! Sure this is a little more intense than you’re normally up to but, you know-”

“Scar, you don’t want to be like this man,” Cub interrupted him, and Grian chose that moment to squirm out from underneath Scar’s lean, “Come on, you remember how hard it was to break all this stuff the first time? How hard we had to work to make sure no one remembered our names? I’ve got no idea why you gave yours to Grian but--”

Scar snapped his fingers, his grin turning into something wicked, “Oh that would be fun.”

“Scar--”

“Hey Grian~?” Scar’s voice was sing-song as he rounded on Grian, mischief playing in his expression, “D’you want to know Cub’s name?”

Cub felt like he’d just fallen through thin ice, and it must have shown in his expression, because Scar laughed, tinny and ressonent, a sound that began like chiming bells and ended like nails on sheet metal. Grian looked between the two of them, well and truly at a loss.

“Come on Grian, think about it. Two vex at your beck and call? And Cub, you remember what evoker magic feels like? This feels amazing. You can’t tell me you’ve never wanted to taste just a little bit of it again?”

As he spoke, blue played around his fingertips, a dance of sparks, power waiting to bloom into something directed.

“Grian’s a friend, Cub,” Scar was saying, advancing on Cub in lithe strides, “He wouldn’t hurt us, or use us like the evokers did. All that power, all that fun, none of the downsides! It’s pretty neat! And you said so yourself, the fix is easy. Just a sword and some will.”

Scar circled Cub, trailing with him the intoxicating pull of the magic tethering he and Grian together. It was the sort of thing that should have had a smell - probably something sweet and nostalgic, with a magnetic draw that was deeply personal. It didn’t, but the effect was the same. Cub found himself enticed by it, dizzied up between it and Scar’s words. There really weren’t a lot of downsides, were there? Evoker magic was very powerful in the right hands, power he hadn’t had the chance to play with in a long time. It would trivialize his enchanted desert, for a start. He could use it to turn his silly little server pranks into something truly intense and deadly, if he wanted.

Scar was talking again, and Cub was so inside his own head for a moment that he didn’t catch the first part of what he was saying. He registered that Scar was circling back to Grian, his voice stilted with chiming bells, and it occurred to Cub that this was magic. Scar had always been good at the magic of speech and suggestion, of pulling people in to get what he wanted. It had carried with him even after he’d cut himself off from all things illager and evoker and mage. He was using it on Grian now, and Grian had that distant, sort of fuzzy look of someone being convinced by magic the thoughts being put in their head were their own. Scar had probably fallen prey to the same thing, really. That was illager magic, at its heart. It was tricky and devious, and it brought out the chaos in people. It liked to be used, to be feared. It wasn’t a kind magic. 

“See, I knew you two would come around,” Scar flashed a smug sort of grin and clapped his hands together, “This is going to be amazing! So, Grian, Cub’s name is-”

Scar was cut off abruptly when an arrow whizzed past his ear. Cub hadn’t even realized he’d shot it until Scar was looking at him, the ever-present vex smile finally absent from his features. There were a few seconds where all three of them were still. The magic fizzled out of the air. Everything froze. Then, Scar had a sword in his hands, and his skin cast itself from the neutral vex gray to an eye-stinging blue. Cub thought maybe randomly attacking the guy who kept killing evokers whenever Grian got too close to them might not have been his brightest idea.

“Scar,” Grian seemed to be getting his bearings again, and he took a step like he was about to get between the two of them, “Scar don’t--”

Scar and Cub both took to the sky at the same time - Cub with elytra and rockets in hand, and Scar lifted on vex wings and magic. Cub thought he was better at fighting than Scar was, but Scar was much, much better at magic. And then Scar was casting lightning in his direction, and Cub didn’t think much of anything. He just swooped through his desert and prayed he didn’t hit any dripstone on the way through.