#have you ever heard of having fun. of making something for yourself. i dont care if you want another white character

[yusukenui]

AHH ahhh shut uP ! eats you whole. casts get away from me beam

[agirlwithglam]

How to be the “it girl” in school ✨💁‍♀️

Academic validation >> external validation (boys, girls, etc.) : academic validation should always come first if you’re in school. ALWAYS. Your grades and your knowledge will take you far in life, not the approval of some random kids who you probably wont ever even see again. You need to know your priorities.

Romanticise it!: make school fun! Romanticise it. Act like the main character because you ARE the main character and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!

Study for tests: part of being an “it girl” is actually getting good grades. And how do we get good grades? By studying!! Romanticise studying if you want. But just study. Study study study until you can’t get it wrong. Also- stop working just on motivation. Create a routine or schedule where you get in studying everyday and STICK TO IT.

Confidence: walk, talk and act with confidence and confidence only. walk as if you OWN the room. Know that you are worth a million dollars, OWN THAT. Believe in yourself and your abilities. Remember: “you can’t fit in if you were born to stand out!”

Stop caring about what others think of you. people will hate on you and THATS OKAY. Some people will literally hate on like everything. I heard once (from thewizardliz) that there will be a video of cats playing on the internet and there will be a person that figures out how to hate on it. There will be people who just have nothing to do in their lives except try to bring you down so you need to just ignore it. Be protective of your energy.

Style: it’s okay to hop onto different trends, but try to find your own style. It’s okay if your school has a uniform, you can add a ‘signature’ piece of jewellery to your outfit to make you feel a bit better about yourself. Also use a certain scent/ perfume on yourself that just makes you feel a bit more.. ✨you.✨ (also remember it’s perfectly alright to change your style if you get bored once in a while!)

Good hygiene: brush your teeth. Comb your hair. Shower. Make sure your lips aren’t crusty musty dusty. Iron your clothes. Make sure you feel fresh and clean everyday.

Be kind: dont be mean if you have no reason to. If someone comes up to you politely asking a question or talking to you about something, dont give them a side eye, dont look at them as if they’re a clown, be polite and respectful. No one, and i mean NO ONE likes someone who’s rude. You may think it’s cool, but rly.. it isn’t. It’s just icky. Give genuine compliments, smile, treat others to make them feel special. Although do remember that THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BEING kind AND BEING A people pleaser!! Have boundaries and prioritise YOURSELF FIRST.

It girl emojis to use (optional): ✨🩷💌💋🐩🪩📚🎧💗💄🌸👑🎀

Xoxo, Vanilla

[fookingmuffins]

it's time to go

James potter x reader

Summary: Angst. You love James, but it's time to go.

Warning: cheating, screaming and James being a dick.

A/n: lmao I really ran after posting like 4 fics, but I'm doing a little better and even though I'm stressed with uni I've been dying to write something, so I hope y'all enjoy. (This actually took me so long to finish and i dont lobe the ending but i needs to move on, oops)

You sighed as you prepared to open the door to the house you shared with James. Once upon a time, you would've rushed in without a second thought. But lately the war had taken a toll on the two of you. Once happy moments were now filled with fear and dread, making you feel like you were drowning. And no matter how hard you tried to hold on to the love of your life, you could feel him shutting you out. James had always been an open book anyone who ever met him knew that, but lately he had built this wall meant to keep you away, only you. At first, you tried to understand and be patient considering everything you two were going through, but after countless fights of you begging for him to talk to you, you were tired. You squeezed your eyes shut once before pushing the door open and plastering a fake smile in your face, maybe today would be different.

"Jamie, I'm home, I brought your favorite from the bakery by my work!" you shouted into the house buy were greeted with only silence. After checking the house you realized you were alone which immediately sent you into a spiral of worry since James was supposed to be here an hour ago but deciding that maybe he had gotten caught up with something you tried to ignore your panic and start getting ready for your friend's Alice’s engagement party.

You heard the door open and close while you were finishing up with your hair, causing you to get up and genuinely smile when you saw James make his way to the bedroom that the two of you shared.

"I was wondering where you were, I got you some pastries they are in the counter." you tried, but he just gave you a tight-lipped smile with a wave before passing by you to your shared bedroom. You went after him and saw he was getting ready to jump in the shower. Figuring it was going to be another quiet afternoon, you sat at your vanity staring at yourself in the mirror holding back the tears threatening to spill and ruin your makeup and just prayed that at the wedding maybe you two could have fun like you used to. You didn't even realize how long you sat there until you heard James get out of the bathroom and start getting ready, and you decided to just get dressed too and sit by the window with a book while you waited for James to be ready.

"Are you okay?" You were broken out of your train of thought by James’s question.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be. " You answered, giving him a similar smile to the one he gave you when he arrived.

"I don't know, you just keep staring into space, and it's kinda creepy." he tried to joke, but what once would've made you smile and roll your eyes instead caused a knot to form at your throat again, and you felt tears prickling your eyes once again.

"Well what am I supposed to do is not like I can talk to you anymore James you always shut me out, and I don’t know what to do anymore to get you to bring down the walls that keep shutting me out! I don't even know what I did for you to shut me out!" You couldn't help but let out everything for the millionth time, hoping that maybe today would be the last time you two were having this conversation and that he would finally open up and let you two go back to normal.

However, you soon realized that it was only wishful thinking because James immediately lowered his head and mumbled "For fuck's sake y/n not this again"

"Yes, this again, James! Please talk to me! Stop shutting me out, please!" you were a sobbing mess by this point, begging him to let you in, not caring if you ruined your makeup.

But James just shook his head and walked out, "I'll wait for you in the car while you get cleaned up, we can't do this right now, or we’ll be late." just like that, he left you alone frozen with mascara running down your cheeks. You felt numb and just quickly tried to clean up but when you were done and staring at your reflection stare back at you with puffy red eyes you just felt pathetic.

On the way neither one of you talked James kept his eyes on the road while you looked out the window too lost in your thoughts to realize your usual music that would usually be playing while the two of you drove was not playing, James realized, and he felt like he was suffocating in the empty car ride.

The wedding was beautiful and despite your problems you couldn't help but imagine that one day it would maybe be you and James standing in an altar professing your love in front of all your friends and family. You turned to look at him as Alice and Ben were sharing their vows, only to catch him staring at Lily, and she was staring right back at him. You felt something break in you as confusion overtook you. Why is he looking at her?

Was she the reason that you were slowly getting kicked to the curb? Back in Hogwarts everyone knew that James was obsessed with Lily but when she finally gave him a chance things just didn't work out. Then you caught James's attention, and the rest is history.

You tried to focus on the happy couple in the altar as the ceremony came to an end, but you felt someone was stabbing you and twisting the knife.

By some miracle during the reception James asked you to dance which shocked you, but his eyes seemed so sincere and like they were almost begging that you couldn't help but to foolishly be filled with hope once again. As you took his hand, he genuinely smiled at you again the way he used to with that same boyish grin that made you fall for him 5 years ago.

The two of you danced in the center of the dance floor spinning and laughing around, you had not been this happy in so long. After a particularly long fit of giggles, James pulled you closer and looked into your eyes with a spark that the two of you hadn't shared in months. When you two were about to lock lips, someone cleared their throat besides you two and the two of you pulled slightly away.

"James could I have a word with you please?" Lily asked looking at James who immediately pulled away from you and went with her after telling you he'd be right back. Just like that you were brought back to reality the cloud 9 that you had been in for a little bit long gone, and again the sinking feeling invaded you, feeling like you were drowning. You needed a drink.

You went to the bar and after getting your drink you decided it wasn't enough, and you needed air. You walked out of the salon where everybody was and made your way to the garden, and that's when you heard it.

"James! You said you two were over, but it sure as hell doesn't look like it! I can't beli-"

"I know, I know, but I can explain Lily please! I-I-I came here with her because she was embarrassed to come alone, so I promised this would be our last outing together." You felt your heart stop, air getting caught in your throat.

"What? That doesn't-" Lily started as you felt the glass in your hands slip and shatter on the ground.

Both of them froze and looked at where you were standing, you could feel a knot forming in your throat but glared at the pair in front of you with tears forming in your eyes.

"Y/n I can explain!"

" I think both of us want an explanation, James, but she deserves it more. Y/n/n I'm so sorry I had no idea you two were still together." Lily went to walk away and James was about to chase after her when she heard you scoff and as you turned around.

"Say goodbye to Alice and Ben for me, would you? I have to go." you rushed out before basically sprinting to the nearest exit, hearing James chase after you, which wasn't hard considering he was taller than you and an athlete. He grabbed your arm when you two had made it to the parking lot and turned you around.

"So that's why I'm getting the cold shoulder." you blurted out before whatever he was able to utter whatever shit excuse he was going to tell you. You almost wanted to laugh, which made you feel like you were insane, but you thought about all the hours you had spent over the past couple of months looking in the mirror trying to see what was wrong with you, overanalyzing every tiny detail in your face. Laying in bed staring at the ceiling, replaying everything you had done that day that might have set James off.

"No no baby, I swear it's not what it looks like, Lily is just bitter we didn't work out, and she's trying to sabotage us! I've just been so stressed because of it, and I am so sorry I let it out on you."

"Bullshit James! You were literally just talking shit about me before i showed up and ruined your little act." You were seething by this point, and James flinched after your outburst. You had never been one to scream, and he knew that, but right now you honestly felt like nothing was the same and you weren't the same. "A-and you wanted to chase after her and you know what? maybe you should. Maybe you have a better shot at getting her back because we are over James Potter! I-I am so tired... I-" You were crying from all the different emotions you were feeling at that moment. Finally getting some enlightenment about why your relationship was dying gave you some relief of the crushing pain you were feeling being hunted by the "what if's" and "why's" you weren't the problem.

James tried to get close and wrap his arms around you. god he felt like an idiot for hurting you. He honestly doesn't know what he was thinking. He had hoped you never found out and had planned to break up with Lily soon enough, but he just needed to explore a little what it could've been like if he had stayed with her. Plus the thrill of it was something that James had loved for the time being, but he never wanted to hurt you. His heart broke at the sight of you, he couldn't imagine what you were feeling.

"Don't even think about it! Don't ever touch me again don't ever look at me, I hate you so much Potter, I don't want to know anything about you from this day on James! We now mean nothing to me, we are strangers!" You glared at him in a way he had never seen you look at anyone, and felt his heart drop.

He tried to protest, feeling the tears leave his own eyes at the idea of losing you completely forever. But you just turned around and walked away.

[blarshwritezz]

hi if u dont mind i would love a mafia x male spy reader (gn if you ur not comfy with that) so the mafia boss pretends to be the mission partner for the reader just for fun he almist kileed the reader on multiple occasions but the reader misunderstands and thinks that the mafia boss was just helping him albeit in a weird and rather violent way and although reader has a suspicion that his partner (the mafia boss) isnt who he says he is due to skme odd similarities between him and the target of his mission (that being the Mafia boss) and the fact that his partner could easily waltz in notorious criminals manors and party and one day everything just clicks for the reader and they try to escape but the mafia boss knew thus so he kidnapped em and the live happily ever after (idk how to end this so just do what you deem fit ty!!!)

(oh yeah its fine if ur not comfortable or just don't want to make my request im not paying you so you hqbe no obligations to do so remember to take care of yourself <333 /p)

(and if i could could i become 🦀 anon)

Yes! Welcome, 🦀 anon!

Yandere Mafia Boss x Spy Reader

M yan x gn reader (sorry, I prefer to do gn for non-nsfw asks)

TW - general yandere behavior, drugging, implied kidnapping

Your mission was simple, at least on paper. Simply gain intel on a notorious mafia boss. But if it was that easy, you wouldn't have been working at it for so long.

It didn't help that your partner for this mission was...unusual. Not a bad guy, really, just strange. Sometimes you almost thought he was trying to kill you. You'd often catch him staring at you. You even felt his gaze when you swore no one was around.

Not to mention, danger was ever prevalent around him. He always managed to save you, though. But his face did often look rather annoyed...you just assumed he was one of those people with a really bad rbf.

But it was also suspicious how he was able to so easily and casually waltz into the homes or parties of very high-profile people. People you'd never be able to get near without months of careful planning. Maybe he just had good connections?

But all these coincidences were getting a bit too...convenient. If you needed to get in somewhere, he got you in the front gate. If you needed something, he miraculously had it only a day or two after at the latest.

And worst of all, you still haven't managed to track down this damn mafia boss! It didn't help that nobody knew what he looked like.

"Maybe he's right under your nose." His deep voice startled you out of your thoughts. His arm was wrapped around your shoulder, holding you close. Despite his cold exterior, he was pretty touchy and clingy. But...sort of sweet. You were glad to have met him, even if this mission was looking like a bust.

"But where? Where haven't we checked?"

"Well, our organization may be high security, but not impossible to infiltrate for a man like that." Was he implying that one of your own coworkers could be your target? Impossible!

But...now it all seemed to come together. Those coincidences...weren't just coincidences. He really has been right under your nose this whole time.

No wonder he could go wherever he wanted and get anything he desired. He had power and influence...more than you thought.

"I-Impossible! Our organization has the highest security possible! I'd know if someone like that could be...beside me..." It was a sad attempt to cover up your newest theory, but also to try and reassure yourself. If this was true, then you weren't as good of a spy as you thought...

You got up, or tried to at least. He kept his grip tight on you.

He knew.

"I can't just let you go now. You know my identity. So I'll just have to keep you as my newest little toy." In seconds his arm lowered to prevent you from moving your arms as he quickly used his other to cover your mouth and nose with a rag.

Chloroform.

"Just sleep...Be a good pet and I'll be sure to reward you very well..." Despite your struggling, sleep soon took you. No one ever heard from you again...no one but him, of course.

I'm sorry, this one feels so rushed and short, I was having a tough time getting inspired 😭

Forgive me, 🦀 anon, for I have failed

[kuni-is-daddy]

Thinking about Scara making us rub his cock with our pussy until we both cum

DOM! BOSS SCARAMOUCHE X FEMALE BODYGUARD READER.

100 followers special AHH OMFG TY.

PURE FILTH.

Juicy stuff: Grinding,Recording, at a desk :<, Yandere themes

Featuring: CHILDE, he's your bestie in the start :) had so much fun writing Childe in this KKLMK I LOVE HIM❤️❤️😩

1.2K WORDS.

amazing art credits! Scara masterlist Part 1 of Boss scara.

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT.

Stillness, Silence. The complete opposite of thunder. And that was his mother, The raiden shogun. God of thunder. Rumors spread around the elaborate 'Gakaden' company that once again her excellency has cancelled another meeting with her son. Its been 200 years since he's last seen her, heard her voice. Scaramouche was only able to rejoice in the sweet sent she left from each letter that was sent in her fluid handwriting.

"Y/n Y/n!" Childe said while tapping your shoulder. "Ah! Childe!! you scared me. Dont sneak up on me like that!" you nudged his shoulder in return. "Hah hah. sorry comrade~ anyway. Did you hear about scara?" you closed the book, bookmarking where you left off. "Yeah our Excellency is quite the busy woman. At least now i can catch up on my book" you smiled. "Why'd you ask? Is everything okay?" You gave a concerned look and the ginger then laughed at you. "Well the thing is.....IM GOING BACK HOME!!!" he took out a picture of teucer and the rest of his siblings. They we're wearing christmas sweaters while holding a 'welcome home' sign. "oh shit really!? your going back to snezhnaya? Thats great childe! how long are you going to be gone?" "hmm probably a month or two. Scara said we needed a break." Childe said "We? what do you mean by we?" You looked at him suprised. "Soo...You dont know gurly?" You gave a straight face. "No- I dont know GUrLy" "Scara is giving us a month off from work. He said something about wanting time to himself and-- I dont know the rest. To be honest, all i know is that we come back next month on the 30th." You scanned the room to see your fellow co-workers organizing their desks and holding boxes in their hands. "Seriously!? Thats great! That means i can go back home and-" Suddenly. The intercom rang with a short beep.

"If Y/N L/N Is still present in the building, Please report to Lord Scaramouche's Office Immediately!"

You tilted your head at the request. "Oooo did you get in trouble y/n??" "No? Or at least.. I hope not." You got up and placed your book back on your desk. Sighing at the sudden realization you we're gonna be by yourself without your 'best friend' for another month. "hey hey.. Cheer up okay? Its only a month and besides. WE CAN ALWAYS TEXT!!" childe waved his phone in your face, your sad expression then turning into a happy one. "HEY THERE GURLY-" "YOU LOOK WELL" "CARE TO EXCHANGE.." "NOTES?" The both of you giggled and then hugged eachother one final time. "Im gonna miss you so much ajax~" "of course, The one time you say my name its when im leaving-."

The intercom rang again. "Y/N... L/N.... REPORT TO LORD SCARAMOUCHE'S OFFICE IMMEDIATELY." now with a more nervous tone then ever. "God. Wonder whats going on over there they need me so bad." "Well..Ill be seeing you Comrade. Take care for me okay?" He gave you a kiss on the forehead, ending it off with you two doing your signature handshake as he walked out of the company.

While climbing the many floors you eventually made it to the 13th floor. Your master's office. You slowed down your stroll in the long cold dark hallway at the sound of pleads and yells. "P-PLEASE LORD SCARAMOUCHE.. I DONT KNOW WHERE SHE IS. I ASKED THROUGH THE WHOLE BUILDING TWICE, HAVE MERCY-" It sounded like the woman on the intercom. "Twice? I said bring her to my fucking office. Not call her, Not ASK around for her. Bring her. But you cant even do your goddam job." you put your hand against the doorknob, conflicting weather you should intervene or not. "Your nothing. Do you know that? Nobody special. I dont care about your family, Your kids, Or your life. Under me, Your just someone i hired for my mothers sake. Just a worker. Replaceable like the rest of the humans in here." You turned the doorknob, hoping to intervene in what sounded like the potential murder of your co-worker. She was being held by her throat, hovering over the balcony while scara held his signature katana in his other hand. "KUNI- STOP!" he turned his head immediately at the use of that name. The woman fell, gasping for air while recklessly running for her life out of the building.

"Hm. So you are here, Close the door." he dropped his blade in its stand and walked towards you. You closed the door, making sure it was locked and immediately turned your head. "Kuni? What the hell was that? Why did you try to KILL that woman??" He rubbed his hand along your shoulder. "Does it realllyyy matter baby? I can just hire a new one you know." he scoffed. "Kuni. Humans arent replaceable. You cant just KILL someone like that." "Mhm..Your right. Cant replace you and that sexy body of yours~" He grew closer to you, Placing your hand against his tie. "W-well..You wont have to worry about me. Or Ajax leaving..Anyway..Why did you call me in here- Master." He pulled away at your change in tone. If theirs one thing that drove kuni crazy about you, is how persistent you we're with work. Still managing to stay perfessional. He sat back behind his desk, Clicking his pen with a laid back expression. "Not in a good mood today pet, Was hoping you could change that f' me~" The balcony door was still open a bit behind him, the warm summer air breezed through the room. Making you tug at your own suit with how hot it started to feel, How intimidating he looked from across the room as you stood at the door. "O-okay..Where do you want me to go master? Do you want to go out to eat? I just have to get my case and-" he sighed and began unzipping his pants.

"Come here and ill show you~" You we're nervous at how intimate he sounded but reluctantly walked towards him. He looked you up and down, noticing how similar your outfit was to his. How your hips curved around the belt. "Want you to sit..Right here..." He rubbed his hands against his thighs, Motioning for you to sit. "B-but we shouldnt do it here- theirs people still working kuni-" He sucked his teeth at your remark. "You think i fucking care Pet? dont want to make master more mad do you?" "N..no..I dont." You closed the blinds to the balcony, remembering how you almost witnessed another womans murder infront of your eyes.. over you. You faced scara and blushed. Turning your head away while stripping each piece of clothing off of you until you wore nothing but lacey black lingerie. "God..You look so hot in those.." he groaned as you hovered over his cock. positioning your pussy right against it, "Grind on daddys cock. Fuck yes~" He threw his head back as your hands held onto the chair for stability.

"A-am i doing good for you master...?" he pressed his hands against your ass, slapping them as they made contact "AH~" "Hell yeah.. Your doing so good' want you wet for me." He shifted his hands towards your underwear, slowly making them shift down so he could see your clit. "K-kuni! what are you doing.." "Ugh~ turn your head back up- Wanna feel your clit rubbing against me" He pulled your underwear down, Repositioning you so your clit rubbed against his big length, Teasing you as your hole ached for him to be inside of you. "Master~ Your so big..hah..." "Yeah you like that pet? Like how good it feels against you?" Wet stains started to emerge on his pants as you grinded faster against him, Chasing the burning feeling he gave you. "K-kuni~ Feels so' good~ Please..fuck me.." you shifted your grip away from the chair, now tightly holding onto him instead. "Mmm dont think thats good enough love, Beg for it." Begging. Kuni always made you beg and scream for him, He loved hearing how desperate you we're for him to fill you up. To claim you as his. Watching as you cried in frustration when he'd pull out just when your about to cum. "K-KUNI~ PLEASE M' SO CLOSE" "Shit~ keep moaning like that, cum for daddy, cum for me. and ill fuck you. Fuck~ hah...bounce those tits for me. You look so fucking good~" he slowly pulled his phone out, Recording how your tongue stuck out for him and your tits bounced. How you looked like a dog in heat. "Fuck..Thats it y/n Dont stop, dont fucking stop." "AH~ K-KUNI M' GONNA CUM~ KUNI!!!!!!!!"

Your juices squirted all over kuni's pants as he came at the same time as you. You looked up to notice him recording you and covered your face in embarassment. "Mmm... is my little slut embarassed? god look at the fucking mess you made." He let his phone fall down on the floor. Roughly grabbing you and placing you against the desk. "K-Kuni! Dont be so- MMM~" he tied his tie around your mouth. Throwing his clothes onto the floor and picking up his phone once again. "Shit...Cant get enough of you y/n~ love how this pussy is all mine~ are you mine pet?" you nodded your head with no hesitation.

"Fuck yes. Im gonna break you."

[d6volution]

ASKS ARE OPEN BLESS

anyways!!

jax w a milf reader. mommy kink.

okay, i got quite a few requests for something like this, so i decided to write something small to test the waters...... ehmm i dont feel very confident in this department, but if the feedback is good, then i will write a part two. ☺️

tags: sub!jax , vibrators, overstim, mommy kink, light bondage.

"L.. Look, y/n.. I already apologized to gangle— zooble and .. kinger just.. let me out of this crap, yeah?" Jax tried to use his usual charm on you but it was becoming painstakingly clear that you didn't care. You simply hummed in response and this only made him that much more agitated.

After all, it wasn't every day he was literally tied up to the headboard of his own bed.

"Mhm, mhm.. and that's what you said last week Jax... and.. the week before that.." You smiled and straddled his lap and he grunted, shifting a little.

"Yeah, and? Ever heard of having fun toots?" He said and studied your expression.

"Oh, suure.. in fact, I think this will be lots of fun after all." You trailed a hand down his chest. Slowly removing the straps of his overalls, allowing them to fall down his shoulders. You watched him closely, but he looked to the side. Avoiding your gaze as heat crept on his cheeks.

"Y.. Yeah, but not when I'm .. tied up doll, heh— d.. don't you think this is a bit much?" Jax swallowed, trying his best to control himself, but his body was actively giving him away.

"Too much? I think it's just fine.." You rocked your hips a little and you could feel the bulge pressing against your thigh. "See?" You chuckled, "You're usually much more confident Jax.. what's going on, hmm? Mommy making you nervous?"

"You wish, babe." His hands tugged at the resitraints once again, "A—And you can't blame me for getting turned on.. tied up or not you're still hot. But, this ain't my thing doll." He said in a frustrated tone and you removed yourself from his lap, leaving his bulge out in the open no longer hidden between the valley of your thighs.

"Too bad, Jax. This is punishment you know. For causing so much chaos in the circus. My poor little gangle, do you really love making her cry that much?" You spoke while digging in your bag of 'toys'. Jax was actively trying to pull against his restraints and see what you were grabbing. "Look I already said I was sorry, what more do ya want from m—"

You were walking back towards him with something behind your back and Jax squinted. ".... whats that?"

You hummed and yanked his overalls down, slipping them from under beneath him. "You'll see."

"Just be a good boy and stay still for me," Jax shuddered at your words unconsciously, he couldn't think of any smart remark when he watched your pretty hands pull his dick from its confines, he was already semi-hard.

"Nnh.." He gasped as you attached a egg vibrator to the base of his cock right along one of the veins that protruded from his girth. You didn't waste time in turning it on the medium setting, with the little remote you held in your hands. A smirk playing on your lips.

His ears immediately shot up and his pupils got small, "W.. What the h- hell..!" He jolted, his hips bucked forward as pleasure coursed through his body without warning.

"How's that feel hmm? Nice and snug?"

"Th.. this is nothin'— ghhk..!" He tensed up again as you switched the setting to its highest, the buzzing sound got louder as it stimulated his dick, which was completely hard and standing at attention now.

"Shhh, that's it." You climbed next to him and stroked his chest. Your fingers tip toed down to his hard shaft and fingers danced around the tip which was already dripping with precum. "You can take it right? After all, I did promise Ragatha I would help mend her dress this afternoon.. so stay here and be a good boy for me okay?"

"W.. What you.. you aren't gonna— ngh.. leave me here right? C-Come on doll, hh— mmf!" You shoved your panties into his mouth. "Found these in your room too." You smiled, it was warm and gentle. Completely contradicting your actions.

"And to answer your question, yes, this is punishment remember dear?"

"Now, if you cum before I get back.. well, this will not the be the worse thing you go through.~"

You switched it down to the medium setting, just enough to keep him going but not enough to get him there completely. He groaned and pulled against the resitraints as you walked out of the door, shutting and locking it behind you.

Jax shuddered and bucked his hips against the vibrator, his eyes getting glossy from the stimulation.. all he could do was sit there and take it. His moans muffled by the underwear in his mouth.

About 45 minutes went by before you entered the room again, Jax immediately perked up, his eyes were glossy from crying and his hands were trembling beneath the restraints. The once sassy bunny was being reduced to whining and begging mess before your eyes. And it was absolutely delicious..

"Hmm? Something you wanna say?" You said and sat next to him on the bed, removing the gag gently from his mouth he began to beg before the gag was even fully out.

"Pl.. please, please... y/n.. l... let me cum.. f..fuck.." He whimpered , but still couldn't face you. It was too embarrassing but he couldn't take it, he was so close but this wasn't enough to push him over the edge.

"Oh? Now you wanna be nice? Gonna look at me, little bunny?" You said and tilted your head a little, trying to catch his gaze.

He finally looked you in the, feeling more pathetic than ever. "Mm...mommy.. please... j..just let me come.."

Now you were a little taken aback, either he was extremely easy to break or... he was actually more into this then he was letting on. You felt your stomach do flips , being called mommy by the one person in the circus who seemed the most against it was invigorating.

"Hmm.. I'm not convinced. Beg some more and I'll let you come baby." You leaned in and placed a kiss on his jaw, trying your hardest to keep your hands off of him. This was for punishment , he didn't deserve that yet.

He looked frustrated by your demands but that was quickly wiped away by the pleasure that washed over him again as he got closer to his climax once more. Unfortunately it he didn't comply it'd probably fizzle out again.

"Nnhg.. please, please.. mommy... need to cum.. please.. i.. ill be a good boy.. pr-promise.." Suddenly the vibrator was turned up to high and he immediately came like clockwork, ropes of cum shot from his angry tip and all over his chest. He groaned and panted, his body trembling from the release.

"Mmn.. there you go, not so hard was it..?" You smiled and turned the vibrator off, giving him a chance to finally relax his body. "Such a good boy for me.. think you can take some more, hmm..?"

"Mmn.. w-won't tell anyone..?" He said, still strung out from his high.

"It'll be our little secret.~" You purred.

[paingoes]

Destroyer is afk

(Masterlist)

another sherbet colored update. i really love simulating internet speech in writing i think its so fun

(Content: death mention, past trauma, self loathing, comfort??)

=======================

no posts in a month its over

they got him omg </3

Did indy fucking die?

RIP INDY

ndhakdvsnnd: can you guys stop saying that im dead  ndhakdvsnnd: also no more leaks until further notice. stop asking.

sunspot: Hey you don’t have to talk to us if you don’t want to but can you please give us some indication you’re still alive? 

sunspot: We’re really worried.

katkittykat: omg look at this video :3

katkittykat: have u ever seen a shark move like that in all ur life that shit is so crazy

katkittykat: hey where have u been lololol

katkittykat: are u mad at me :c

katkittykat: if its somethin i did can we talk abt it ??? 

katkittykat: okk ur making me nervous 

katkittykat: OH SHIT UR BACK

katkittykat: WTF

ndhakdvsnnd: hey sorry 

katkittykat: bro where did u go!!!! D:

ndhakdvsnnd: had to travel somewhere i couldnt bring my laptop

katkittykat: im rlly glad ur ok! 

ndhakdvsnnd: do you want me to send you the next batch

katkittykat: uhh yea only if ur up to it. whenever ur ready :3c

ndhakdvsnnd: i can do it now

katkittykat: ty sweetness

katkittykat: sunny wants u to answer him lol hes having an aneurysm xD

ndhakdvsnnd: okay

ndhakdvsnnd: hi

sunspot: Hey! 

ndhakdvsnnd: kitty said you wanted to talk to me

sunspot: Yes I wanted to know if you were okay because we hadn’t heard from you in a while

ndhakdvsnnd: obviously

sunspot: ?

sunspot: Why is that obvious?

ndhakdvsnnd: how would i be typing if i wasnt okay

sunspot: That doesn’t even make sense ?

sunspot: I assumed if you were offline for a month it was because you were either upset or in danger

ndhakdvsnnd: maybe i just have a day job to worry about

sunspot: In that case it would’ve been nice to receive some kind of warning so we wouldnt think you were hurt 

ndhakdvsnnd: i didnt have time

sunspot: You didn’t have time to type one sentence?

ndhakdvsnnd: okay im sorry

sunspot: Look I’m not trying to lecture you Im just saying we were concerned and I wanted to make sure you were alright.

ndhakdvsnnd: okay

sunspot: Everything’s really okay then? Nothing happened?

ndhakdvsnnd: i dont want to talk about it

sunspot: Alright.

sunspot: You know we care about you right?

ndhakdvsnnd: i didnt send a warning because i didnt know i was leaving until the last minute i didnt go by choice

ndhakdvsnnd: thanks for attacking me over it as soon as i got back though 

sunspot: Does it seem like I’m attacking you? 

ndhakdvsnnd: yes kind of

sunspot: I’m sorry then. I didn’t mean to.

ndhakdvsnnd: okay

sunspot: Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it?

ndhakdvsnnd: i am just sad okay i am already getting yelled at all the time  i dont need to get it from you too 

ndhakdvsnnd: sorry this is stupid ill shut up

sunspot: No it’s okay! If you’re upset you can tell me that’s what I was messaging you about in the first place I had the feeling something was wrong

ndhakdvsnnd: are you sure

sunspot: Yes positive

ndhakdvsnnd: i just dont like feeling like everyone is disappointed or mad at me all the time i dont know 

ndhakdvsnnd: it would be one thing if i deserved it but i dont know i have been really really trying lately and it doesnt work and it makes me feel bad

ndhakdvsnnd: but i kind of deserve to feel bad so i dont know 

ndhakdvsnnd: im tired

sunspot: Why do you think you deserve to feel bad?

ndhakdvsnnd: a lot of reasons 

sunspot: I don’t think you deserve it.

ndhakdvsnnd: you dont know me though

ndhakdvsnnd: you wouldnt like me if you knew me 

sunspot: Well what I do know about you now is that you are risking your life and sanity to provide us information to help people.

sunspot: Just based on that I don’t think you deserve to feel so bad about yourself.

sunspot: I think the people you’re around are probably really hard on you and its affecting the way you see yourself.

ndhakdvsnnd: im sorry

sunspot: Why are you saying that?

ndhakdvsnnd: i dont know

ndhakdvsnnd: is it okay if i go to bed now 

sunspot: Goodnight! We can talk later if you’re up for it?

ndhakdvsnnd: okay gn

[romanarose]

Puzzle Pieces Drabbles: part 2

Ben Miller x Fem!Reader

Fic Summary: You're dating Tom, a whirlwind romance that came at a low point in your life. Within months, you live with him and he's not as nice as he was in the begining. Tom does things that upset you, Benny finds a way to make it better.

Chapter Summary: Tom won't come look at your tomatoes. Based on a tumblr post I cant find.

Warnings: IDK what to call this but it's def shitty behavior throughout. Will progressively get worse during the series but let's start with this. Drinking. Someone not appriciating your excitment.

A/N: This will be a short series of comfort drabbles where Tom does something shitty and Ben makes it better. No smut. I'm at a low point rn and just want softness.

This is my submission for Triple Frontier Write-a-Thon !!! come join in the fun and follow @triplefrontier-anniversary to find more fics!!!

************************

“TOM!!!!!” You scramble up from your garden patch to where you were tending to your plants, standing to see Tom and Ben drinking on the porch.

Tom turns, looking worried. “What? What happened?!”

“My tomato’s bloomed!!!” You say with a wide grin, giddy with excitement.

He relaxes. “Oh my god. Is that it? Woman, you scared the shit out of me.” He went back to his grilling.

Your shoulder slump a little. “Sorry… I was just excited…” You point to your garden. “It’s just… the tomatoes!!!” Ben is watching curiously, but he doesn’t say anything.

Tom flips a burger. “Uh huh. That’s nice honey.”

Ben asks a question now. “The tomatoes?”

Muttering, Tom explains with a wave of his hand. “She was trying to get the tomatoes to grow forever.”

“So will you please come see them?” You try to get him to come over, but he just looks over the railing.

“Uh-huh, they look great.” 

Your hands drop to your side. “Tom, you can’t even see them.”

“They look… so cool” Is he… laughing? He’s laughing at you. You don’t turn to look at Ben, you couldn’t bear to see him laughing at you too. So, you simply go back to your garden, tending to the weeds, trying to immerse yourself in the classical music you heard helps plants grow. You don’t even hear him walk up to you at the garden bed.

“Oh!” Your startle when Benny kneels down next to you, getting in the dirt with you.

“Shit, sorry.” Ben chuckles, his floppy dirty blonde hair falling in his eyes. You wonder if he ever had an emo phase. “I wanted to see the tomatoes”

You roll your eyes but laugh. “You don’t want to see my tiny green tomatoes.”

He is completely sincere, blue eyes shining in the summer sun as he smiles. He has a pretty smile. “I do, actually.” You ignore the flutter in your chest.

So, you show them to him, Benny sounding very impressed as he looks. He tells you how his therapist wanted him to try getting plants to have something to take care of, briefly mentioning that he feels like he was always the one being cared for. He chuckles when he says ‘guess I’m not responsible enough to keep a succulent alive’, but you can feel the truth behind his words. You offer to help him if he wants to try again. Benny lights up at that.

You want to know what he’s in therapy for, why he feels like he’s not responsible enough for a plant, you want to know so much more about him… but you don’t ask. Ben isn’t your boyfriend, Tom is. You loved Tom, you were going to marry Tom. Ben… Ben was just a nice bonus, right?

***************

Remember, if they dont care about the things you care about, they arent the one!!! someon will care <3

follow @romana-updates for more!!

@my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction@itspdameronthings @miraclesabound @missdictatorme @rubyfruitjungle @axshadows @pimosworld @casa-boiardi

[piqtescue]

If your watching "Under The Bridge" or planning to, here's a PSA from someone born & raised in that city. Oh, and Kelly's personal info and location bc she deserves absolutely no peace✨😊

((if you dont know this series, or who im talking about, I swear to god I do not do reveal personal information lightly and take revealing someone else's very seriously- but Kelly is a cold blooded psychopath and I urge you to google what she did))

I couldn't believe it when I heard the worst crime that has ever happened in my city was going to be made into a fucking hulu drama... I used to be so intrigued by true crime renditions, but this has made me rethink it all. The murder of Reena is something that makes us as locals sick to our stomachs, is still a very open wound to our city and her family and every day so many of us are forced to drive over the Craigflower Bridge, the place where she was brutally murdered. She was 14.

I never plan to watch "Under The Bridge" on Hulu as I really don't need it replayed back to me in a miniseries, but just need to give some PSA's here + gonna give you some recent photos of Kelly/Kerry and her location because she doesn't deserve the luxury of people forgetting what she fucking did:

To start, I'm not throwing shade to anyone watching the show- I know this doesn't affect everyone the same. Just want to make sure this bitch's face & the real story is plastered in your mind so you can publicly shame her if you wish, and realize this isn't just a miniseries- this actually happened.

Though the author who wrote the book this was based on was in search for their "humanity"- there is zilch in that sector for Kelly Ellard. None. See, Kelly was a teen when she lead the brutal murder of Reena and you might be pointing "upbringing and trauma/mental health" to blame- but don't even go there for a second. Warren is 100% holding the same sin for what they did but displayed actual guilt and talked to her parents. He knows what he did wrong and will live for it the rest of his life.

Kelly, a privileged psychopath from birth, is a disgusting, soulless slime who deserves nothing but to suffer for the rest of her days. Go read up on her parole hearings and realize in no way is she remorseful and in no way does she deserve to walk free or be a mother. She doesn't deserve to fucking breathe. Though if you read her most recent parole hearing, you will hear her speak of this series being "disrespectful to Reena's family": I want you to know she has finally learned to say what they want her to say after all these years; she doesn't give any fucks about Reena's family, all she cares about is leaving the past behind her but jokes on her- she will never get that luxury because we as residents won't let her.

✨Here's her new name/photos/insta account/location, ect✨

-She goes by Kerry Marie Sim now

✨Photos of what she looks like presently: here, and here and here.

✨Instagram: kehrisima007

Fun fact! In the second link I provided, she uses the hashtag "legally kidnapping our children" in relation to the Ministry of Child and Family Development's (canadian version of DCFS) involvement in her life. That was posted in 2021. Her day parole was then continued in 2022 & 2024, and it's unknown if she still lives with her children, but lets hope to god not.

✨Location:

Going by this article, she might be serving her sentence in the Fraser Valley Institution for Women, or might just have had her parole hearings there. But apart from the prison she's in, she is most definitely doing her day parole in the lower mainland of BC, from the looks of her instagram she hangs around Surrey and Langley.

----------

To end this PSA, if you ever do visit our city and are intrigued by this case as a true crime story enthusiast, I urge you to not come to the Gorge where Reena lost her life at in interest/excitement, but come with the intention of paying your respects and give a thought on just how far teen bullying can go, and how you yourself can advocate for it not to get to that point. Whether it be awareness, talking to your kids about speaking up or advocating for public discussion.

And if Kerry ever sees this: we will never let you have peace. You get no peace for your acts, and we will never. fucking. forget.

[mbat]

ok i always hesitate to compare varian and cassandra because i know varian is the fandoms baby but i am always comparing them when it comes to the fandoms reactions to the characters

and theres definitely several factors at play as to why people react differently to them, but the main one im thinking of is the things that made the characters break the way they did

moreso how varians is a very external and fairly universal thing. his father was basically taken from him (by varians own creation no less), and he was begging for help that he sadly would not get for reasons that we understand, but hes a teenage boy and was going through the worst thing he ever couldve, so of course he wasnt understanding, he was begging for help from someone that shouldve been able to help, but because of the circumstances, that just wasnt possible. you really cant argue with the motivation there.

but cassandras pain was always more of an internal thing, something that isnt laid out so clearly for the viewers to grasp, especially if they dont care to pay her enough attention. her motivation is there from the beginning, even. in the first few episodes we saw her trying to be someone, be something, by trying to win that one competition and such. i think its even in the beginning of that episode that we see her do something really cool and some kids start cheering and shes proud for a second, before its revealed the kids were simply only cheering because rapunzel was arriving, which sets up the episode in general.

this theme of her trying to be more but never getting to, and being outshined by rapunzel, or not seen/heard by anyone including rapunzel, it lasts through the entire show. but her breaking point comes when this theme is brought to its strongest, with gothel.

shes shown that her own mother was gothel, and gothel abandoned her to take care of rapunzel instead.

personally i think that that alone is pretty damn understandable of a motivation even without the further context, but seeing as this theme has been going through the entire run of the show, its just even worse. rapunzel never means to make cassandra 2nd place, but she has been before she even had memories or thoughts. of course cassandra would break about that.

but if you dont care about cassandra... it just looks like shes throwing a little tantrum about it.

but spending your whole life in the shadow of others, and then several years in this one specific shadow, its not fun. its not great. you grow resentful, you wonder why its like this, you blame others for not bothering to ever truly look your way. at some point you fully blame everyone else and not yourself because youve been doing everything you can and it still isnt enough for them.

im gonna go even more off track here but i also think about that one episode where its a flashback and its an episode that i think bothers some people when it comes to this, i know it bothered athena p (good youtuber but her opinions on my favorite shows hurts me inside). when cassandra had the chance to live her dreams, go to the kingdom of women warriors, but she chose to stay home and be rapunzels friend.

and i guess my best summary of it is... wouldnt you rather stay home and have your first friend ever, whos offering themself up on a platter to you? instead of going somewhere far away that youve never been to before, surrounded by strangers? she could likely always try going to that place later (i headcanon that she does after the show after all), but i cant really blame her for wanting to stay home if she could.

so of course it has to suck that the whole reason you gave up on getting your dream sooner only hurts you more. that she put her dream on pause to make her first friend right there at home, and that friend only (unintentionally) hurt her.

and idk like i said i definitely think theres more factors at play as to why people like one more than the other (for example theres way less time for varian to do fucked up things even though he does do a few lol, but cass has a lot more time)

(also i didnt even MENTION that she was being manipulated the entire time she was using the moonstone but whatever. i can absolutely see people being like 'wtf just dont listen to zhan tiri lol ez' and that would just scream that they dont understand manipulation but whatever whatever whatever)

but yeah i just think a big thing is that. not everyone has experienced what cass experienced, not everyone paid enough attention to her to even care about what her whole deal was, not everyone even sees the big deal with the things she went through. but varian has this very understandable reason that you dont need to think too deeply to see why he does what he does.

this isnt a hate post to varian btw i dont dislike or hate him lol, i just think about cassandra so much its unreal

[yagamisdiary]

hey girl let me just vent about how sexy you are ok. So the year is 2021 I'm in bed scrolling through Tiktok and keep on seeing girls crying over Eren fanfiction and I thought who are these dumb bitches crying about Eren fanfiction let me tell you I'm the eren yeager fanfiction library I know the ins and outs of every eren yeager fanfictions its in my blood yk anyways, I enjoyed them but I never cried over them and stuff at the TIME. so I'm like the girls never lie, so I got on my little reading app I don't know if you've heard of it, but it's called w-w-wattpad anyways type up parasite first thing to come up mind you! and I see it 20hrs+ and I thought HELL NO these 13-year-old girls r on some mad shit rn I'm not doing all that. So I sat on it for a few days and videos on my fyp kept on coming up and I was in lockdown so I didn't have anything better to do SO FUCK IT. I started reading I'm a hater bro I was trying too hard to be different anyways I get to the bonfire chapter and when y/n goes to Eren and gives him that snore OH SOMETHING HIT ME my feet were in the air giggling like a little kid let me tell you and I was addicted since that day, even dragging y/n feet down in the lake, THE STARGAZING AND THE DONT KISS ME HAUNTING MEEEEE,eren being a stoner and an emo boy is forever in my soul and sorry guys unpopular opinion but the disabled toilet scene was lowkey good like forgot about that goatee hehe…. but when she got SHOT LIKE TWIN I FELT THAT TOO, MY HEART WAS BEATING OUT OF MY CHEST, BREATHING WAS GETTING SHORTER like its real emotions let we tell you. Dont get me started on the way Eren was so caring afterward my man my man knows how to treat a girl right and then the Halloween chapter and which was the latest chapter at the time and this was the one everyone was crying about so I got my tissues knowing I won't be needing them so I'm reading 3 am mind you, boneing sesh, hot, in love, Eren outfit slays, when that door opened to yk I was ready to fight a bitch, like my blood was boiling it was sizzling and I thought my baby going to stick up for this fine ass NO LETs BREAK UP ITS NOT FUN ANYMORE EVERYONE KNOWS YOU JUST LIKE EVERY OTHER GIRL YOU CRY ALL THE TIME HAVE PANIC ATTACKS AND YOU RELY TO MUCH ON ME, the way I'm crying is real THAT SHIT hit so hard it's not even funny like these "dumb bitches" were right THIS IS A REAL BREAKUP like I can't even say how I was feeling cause it was so much, like sleeping that night wasn't an option. But then I managed to get some sleep and I woke up to the most sexy notification of the ages parasite update chapter called Eren's Halloween I WAS SHITTING BRICKS. Anyways what I'm trying to say is that this book has been such a big help to me over the years this is my escape and a place where I can find something different and I just wanted to tell you cause I have been holding this in for three years buddy like I'm in the shadows liking your stories following you on everything but has always been too scared to say anything so here I am saying something and over the last few weeks its been really hard on me, mentally and physically and ik parasite is construction you could say BUT BITCH TAKE YOUR TIME CAUSE, TIMELESS WORK TAKE TIME MWAH back to my point I have been thinking in my head about different scenarios and points in the book to make me feel better and its so weird but I start smiling like its not just the book but the community around it too. So I'm going to wrap this up cause my fingers really hard but please take care of yourself and I hope you r eating good tonight xoxo Your stalker from 2021

this is the funniest thing i’ve ever read & a canon experience i fear

[svankmajerbaby]

✨️🎀🎈💞💝🕯🎙🤲💌

!! thank u so much for the ask. i love talking about writing......

✨ What's a fic you've posted you wish you could breathe life into again and have people talking about it? (or simply a fic you wish got more credit)

-hmm theres a point in which i have to tell myself not to worry about likes or comments bc what really matters is me getting the practise and exercising my writing muscles and having fun with it... But. i do wish i could get more ppl into my toy story fic. its got a whole bunch of wonderful comments and kudos and stuff, i just feel so proud of it and writing it came so easy and i poured so much of my love into it, i really really wish anyone who loves these characters would read it too.

🎀 give yourself a compliment about your own writing

-english is not my first language so grammar isnt often The Best, but i take a lot of care with using words and expressions as correctly as possible, and I try to always spell words right (i dont think ive ever confused loose and lose, for example, which ive seen confused a few times). some descriptions of spaces are particularly well done, at least to my own criteria, and the song choices are fun (or at least fun to write and picture in my head).

🎈 describe your style as a writer; is it fixed? does it change?

- honestly, ive no idea. i think i get verbose, and i write long dialogue scenes. i overuse the — to lead into another thought, because thats kind of like how my mind works. i try to be "cinematic" in my writing and always start a scene with a description of a place, its lighting and its sounds, like im used to when writing scripts. and i got the sense that usually the characters often ramble and go on long discussions about stuff that maybe normal people wouldnt just start out discussing so strongly. but honestly id much rather someone else outside my own perspective told me what my writing is like, i would trust them more than my own opinion.

💞 what's the most important part of a story for you? the plot, the characters, the worldbuilding, the technical stuff (grammar etc), the figurative language

-the characters!! everything is important, and stuff like grammar often jumps out first for me... but i need to enjoy how the characters are written, and feel like theyre real people with genuine motivations and interactions. i dont mind too much if theyre not super alike to canon, as long as they feel true to the core of their personality and values.

💝 what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

-i was surprised to even get comments on my barbie frankenstein one. i loved writing it and it came through so easily and comfortably, but even though i had used that moderately popular meme of reimagining barbie as a gothic protagonist as inspiration i didnt really think it would be anything but something i liked to picture existing. i was so happy to see people enjoyed it too.

🕯️(there are two questions with this candle emoji symbol? i chose the first one, idk why theres two) was there a fic that was really hard on you to write, or took you to a place you didn't think it would take you?

-the tiff fic :'^) ive always liked writing sorta dark stuff, ever since i was little, but this was on another level. sometimes i felt (and still do) feel a bit awkward bc i really do push myself to write stuff i feel a bit embarrassed or shocked by, but i do think that if i want to be a better writer it does me good to make an effort to depict stuff that makes me uncomfortable and seek to write it in a sense of finding a way to both make if effective and relatively tasteful (or at the very least in-character).

🎙️which one of your fics would you like someone to make a pod-fic of?

- i have never heard about pod-fic before, but i guess i can imagine what it is (wonder if its like an audiobook, or if it has sound effects and the like??). i would love to listen to an audiobook of the barbie frankenstein fic mostly bc i would love so so much to hear the dramatic literary dialogue ive written in kelly sheridans barbie voice. also now that i think about it i have no idea what the creature would even sound like... that would be an interesting challenge.

🤲 what do YOU get out of writing?

-practise writing in english, a sense of accomplishment (when i get to finish something!!) and every once in a while some strong validation in the form of ppl liking what i write... all of it is super valuable to me, especially practise and the push and drive to finish stuff to upload, but the validation in particular just really hits that dopamine in my brain i guess

💌 share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

-its from the glen and glenda fic im halfway planning! i got a few dialogues written and some scenes sketched out, but its still a long way to go. im very excited about it tho! ive grown to really love the versions of the twins ive made in my head. hopefully theyre faithful to their screen depictions while also adding a bit more depth and character building ive wanted to take them through.

[fungalwarp]

this is a mix of an old post that never made it here and some new stuff bc atp this is just kinda funny to me, then imma drop it bc it's also just so boringggg

but im gonna put this here bc ik this loser is still stalking my acct and whatnot, so my final piece or w/e

-"Dont even think abt my sister/talking shit abt my family😡😡" couldnt care less abt ur fuckass sister or family. i cared when they were sticking their noses in shit by sending messages or checking our accounts because?? get a life??? i dont choose to think abt any of u, ever, and would celebrate the day i completely forget abt u

-"YoU wEnT tO mY mOmMy" yeah because we were fed up. because there is a message where you admit you sent at least one thing, along with a vile message from a burner account that mentioned the exact same shit u did in dms, and a whole tumblr with my bf's full name that only families and you knew him by. at least three seperate instances that can be directly tied to you and only you. whether that was you or someone in your system doesnt change that it isnt okay in any degree. it being from a disorder doesnt create a free pass and if you cant keep it in check yourself, someone else needs to be involved. also the screenshot i sent your mother of your dm didnt meantion 'headmates' anywhere, as far as i was ever informed everyone mentioned there was a real person. nothing on there explicity point to DID, i didnt out that

-"he's 27 he should be able to deal with some anon hate" this isnt anon hate. this is repeated harrassment. this is someone implying my mental health is someone's responsibility, and then getting mad when I buy cats that I begged him to let us get and when he's gifted a pc. and i only bring those up bc those are two things you mentioned directly to me along with those being in a vile message from a burner that also implies his father's passing was his fault in any way. that is deranged and subhuman to do and i stand by it. because absolutely nothing justifies a reaction like that. along with an entire tumblr containing his first name and legal last name. something only a small amount of ppl know both of. that account was a recent one too, we have pictures that are time stamped!! so once again, yes, i did send those to ur mother! she should know what vile shit is being sent and that you need serious help

-"Id never go to ur mom!!!" i dont care. if it reached a point of genuine concern when it comes to mental stability, i would hope someone would. ive had people contact my mother over things ive done and i hold 0 resentment bc it helped me in the long run

-"you told someone to kill themselves online😡😡" yeah... i do it a lot... youve heard me do it.... if someone is gonna come into my space and get triggered abt a joke i make w my consenting partner, i will tell them to end it. bc they rlly should. i genuinely believe if ur life is that sad it probably would be better off just ended. what abt it. i dont say it to random ppl for no reason. i say it to people who think i care abt their opinions when it comes to a harmless aspect of my life. oh no, sue me

-"I probably have bpd and i dont run around saying i for sure do" do u have a formal diagnosis for DID? if not then that shouldnt have any standing either. but if we suddenly dont care abt that, yeah i talked to two professionals, both of which agreed i was very likely borderline and one of which is qualified to diagnose but-like my autism-said while i do match criteria it isnt going on my record bc of the walls it can put up in life and they gave me resources before i moved to help w my disorder. and as someone who claims to probably have it, u dont seem to understand how easily it alters ur mood and view on ppl 🤨

-this is a repeated thing and a couple things at once but ur obsession with 'real' names for both humans and animals is just weird and you should probably talk to someone about that. god forbid we have fun with the name we give two cats and ourselves bc we dont live with a stick in our ass? and then ur need to go after his art is wild as if 1) art isnt subjective 2) u have any room to talk abt art skills

[pwblogarchive]

July 2004

July 5, 2004

“Its Such A Joke How Every Song I Ever Write Is”

we’re getting close. i think we might do one more video for TTTYG. the song is gonna be one thats gonna suprise you, because its our favorite one off the record. if it happens, the band is gonna write the video and act in it- cross your fingers and we’ll see what goes down.

has anybody noticed how cliche, selfserving and overdamatic this journal has become? me too.

peter wentz- president of the FOB drama club

love never wanted me but i took it anyway. and there aint a pill that can keep you from my mind- there aint a siren that can keep me from your window. didn’t you hear the word on the streets? i’m getting by on obsession, baby.

p.s. my hair is now black, im here for your heart.

July 7, 2004

“And I Dont Care If Im Just Like The Boys I Trash In All These Songs…”

heard a bunch of the new academy record- you are gonna be suprised. dont sleep. this thing is good and not just in a “my friends are in this band” kind of good, i’d like it even if i didn’t know those geeks. they are like my little brothers. sorry i cut out of the show fast tonight. im not feeling so great about some friends lately. i don’t get “it” but i get it.

if you have any crazy home footage (like the time you and your brother glued yourselves together or whatever) send it to us. we are gonna include a section for it on the release the bats dvd- send it and a release (a piece of paper saying you release the footage and your image to be used by clandestine industries) to: Release the bats DVD at 900 forest. wilmette, il 60091- we need it this month. expect it to drop this fall around the TBS tour.

peter

we joked about the kids who used to be just like us- sick inside of their own skin.

i dropped an “i love you” thankgod it got caught in the wind.

you shouldnt have come back here alone. i’m a shark, baby. and theres blood in the water.

July 8, 2004

“Clip My Wings, I Don’t Deserve The Sky”

I must confess how much I love touring here and seeing old friends. Please come say hi.

I also must confess my serious ashlee simpson crush.

Peterabbit

July 12, 2004

“I Would Forgive You But You Could Never Forgive Yourself”

sooo. this half of tour has been hot. hot and fun. there has been lots of drama in my life. i apologize for being out of it. so st. louis- i got hot. i got delirious. i made some weird decisions. i smashed a bass. said weird stuff. left the stage. threw up. asked bill from the academy to get me some FOB booty shorts and tell the crowd i quit fall out boy. then i yelled into a megaphone. got into skimpy shorts and ran around on stage playing.

Oh yeah all these ideas seemed really funny at the time, now not so funny.

i apologize for anyone who had to see my legs in shorts.

that was the hottest i have ever been in my entire life.

peter

texas is the reason.

July 14, 2004

“Which One Is It Gonna Be The Smile Or The Voice Cause You Can’t Have Both”

For some reason texas air feels right on my lungs. I can’t wait to hit the coast. The stars out here are playing jokes on me. These shows have felt pretty good too. Me and patrick wrote a new one today, it gonna make you dance.

July 15, 2004

its been awhile. i apologize. i can't say i haven't missed you. i need to write more. i think i start to lose it otherwise.

sometimes it all just feels so fucking on. if you don't get that, i'm sorry i cant explain it. 

seeing this country in the summer in a van leaves me breathless. get off the computer and go out and fall in love with someone or something.

you gotta know you have my heart.

- petey

July 15, 2004

“Its Like Chris Said”

New mexico was great for never having been there before. People were so welcoming. I got electrocuted. That was not so great. I’ve got to stop reading the internet, it bums me out a lot. Okay I’m through with (me) all the complaining. I feel like I am holding my breath all the time. A nervous stuttering wreck, and then you don’t like me anyway. I’ve got it figured out, none of it matters. Either: you love to hate me or you hate to love me. But for the record you are my favorites anyway.

Love peter Oh yeah. Hey j.m. Remember that boy I was always nervous about you hanging out with, the one I hated? When did I become him? I dunno, but I did. I’m sorry. For the record I hope you’re doing alright.

July 16, 2004

There’s a part of me that thinks that things might turn out alright. But there’s another part that hopes you didn’t leave your hotel key between pages of the bible iin the drawer.

- petey

July 16, 2004

“Nobody Puts Pete The Baby In The Corner”

Sometimes I just write when I am in a bad mood. And often what comes out is trite and depressing. I am sorry. As I sit here with my posture clearly indicating hours on a glowing screen filled with meaningless words, my middle finger calloused and crooked from writing for hours a day in a notebook that seems filled as soon as a new one it bought. With this keyboard I take AIM on nothing and don’t really care. My wrists feel like they’d slit themselves if I let them, they want out (so do I). Then I remind myself I am out with my bestfriends and having the time of my life. My hotel room was next to a palm tree,

I slept well and dream free.

That was me beng a baby. It happens. You have all always been so nice so don’t even sweat it. Just deal with me getting “emo” sometimes.

P

July 18, 2004

A lot of people have been asking for this. Here’s a bit from our new song- we don’t take hits, we write them….

Find myself on the street out in front of your house so you can kiss safe thoughts good bye. I’m coming up to break your heart. You’re sleeping with the light on like you’re dying to be found out.

I need to take a break from the internet for awhile. I think you’re getting to me love.

- petey

July 18, 2004

“This Place Is A Prison And These People Aren’t Your Friends”

I heard somebody once say “if you love something set it free”

But we’re doomed to crash with these clipped wings

July 25, 2004

“I Aint Dropping No Sympathy… On You Cause Youre Living Lives Way Too Complete For Me…”

its only always been about dropping tears and names. its just a song. so forget all the questions. the stories getting old - but we’ll always be the homewreckers with the hearts of gold.

dont believe in someone who never believed in anything.

July 25, 2004

“No Time For Love, Dr. Jones, We Got Trouble”

I’m gonna miss california. This trip to the west coast was what I needed.

Peter

July 27, 2004

“Status Report”

Lots going on. We’re gonna miss the west coast…. Also. Were gonna have some new merch for warped tour: a shirt that has 8 of our early shirts on it for the collectors, a fob drama club shirt, scene point pins and more. So come by and check it out. Secondly, we aren’t/didn’t play warped in your town because they didn’t ask us to not because we didn’t want to so don’t believe the hype.

Also, our friends in gym class heroes will be playing the bnd tour with us on august 1 in davenport, iowa and then I am setting up a show again for them in chicago on august 3, so come check them out. They are the next big thing, better than atmosphere.

Lastly, I guess some people have told the guys in new found glory we were shittalking them in our dvd. That is the farthest thing from the truth. I knew chad when he was in shai hulud and have always looked up to nfg. That is a band that did it right and I have more respect for than any other band in our genre. We goofed around on a video three years ago to try and trick some girl. That’s it. No drama. So if you are going to warped before we get on it, stop by nfg and tell them fall out boy loves them for us.

There’s no other band out there that did it like them.

Didn’t we tell you the fob drama club was in full effect.

Pete

July 30, 2004

after awhile when you bounce back and forth between different hearts nothing gets old. you never really have to mean anything to anyone. i have intimacy problems with the world. her eyes are blackened around the edges so much that she looks like a racoon. they look like permenant black eyes- the consumate victim. everybody loves the victim. he can’t put his finger on what it reminds him of but the closest he can come are old zombie movies. she’s made-up to look half dead- which still beats most of them who are just half-alive anyway. her hair looked like rows of shark teeth dyed over dye jobs like she was running away from her natural color. noone wants to be what they are. she looks independent in a very vulnerable way. the safest kind of dangerous. we drove around the city so she could alternate between cigarettes and coffee. we talk about the kids we hate just so we have something to agree about. they used to be just like us. we’re sitting on the edge of her bed. every single inch on your body is filled with millions of nerves. somewhere inside your brain neurons have fired to synapses and put them on alert. when your hands brush hers it feels electric. every movement has a meaning, either yes or no. its getting later and later. the conversation and the possibilities are running out. last call. this is a war. everytime she moves her hand to her hair she is sending you signals. stay or leave. why can’t you figure them out. don’t strike first. wait until you are tired enough to make a move. lean in to kiss her bringing an awkward break in conversation. as you pull back she keeps talking about writers and bands she thinks will make her look cooler. but your fooled if only because you are worried she has found you out. push your tongue into her mouth too keep the right words from spilling out. her sheets smell like stale cigarettes smoked by boys who were me on nights before. she has a body that is built for sex. the kind a kid like me wouldn’t know what to do with if we had half the chance. imagine the chemistry of swallowed DNA. she has a scar that runs down her back right along the spine, like somebody tried to steal it. i joked her like this: “someone must have ignored the blue prints, look at all the structural damage”. but i stuttered and trailed off. the smoke curled off of her lips. for a second i was dying to be it. dying to be as clever and kissable as her. there she was sitting in front of me, knee pulled up to to her chin. smoking a cigarrette thinking of something or someone else. and thats how she will be stuck in my mind forever. two explorers in the dark, mapless and hopeless. alone together. its funny how easy it is to sleep with someone, but how hard it is to sleep next to someone. it’s too intimate. it makes my heartbeat race and pound inside my head. it is deafening. i slide my arm from behind her head and slip out the door. the pavement on the sidewalk is watching me go over every moment in my head. it’s watching me remember you. mistake by mistake. frame by frame. we’re not just taking trips down memory lane, we are broken down on it.

- petey

July 30, 2004

“Gbet Down With A Sickness”

i am sick. colorado was insane. sorry the show sold out so quickly, we had no idea. somebody bring me some fireworks to the iowa shows so i can shoot them at people and feel better. this is a part of this other book i have been working on: www.fueledbyramen.com/journal its a bit different than the boy with the thorn in his side.

you have no idea.

peter

[tandytoaster]

I have so much to complain about all the time lately I'm so sorry I'm just like [ head in hands ]

Last year I had 2 friends lie to me repeatedly for months in cahoots (""dating""🤡 each other). 1 I don't care for because he's lied and been sneaky before but the other has like fucking devasted me. Like the last person I would assume to pull one over on me, but about a month into the whole thing I gathered my suspicions and was Right‼️ much to my dismay.

I know I'm regressing here venting online in detail about the dramas of my life but shits getting to me.

Let me paint the picture for you. My 2 irl best friends are who I'm talking about. My ex boyfriend and my best friend of 17 years.

Last year my ex started working at where I'm currently working at, and my best friend just so happened to work there as well. They both put in a good word for me and now I work there and they've since quit ( unrelated ).

I was excited about this because I've never ( and I never will 🤡 ) had an irl friend group of people I know Really well so in the beginning I was really optimistic. My ex was like, "[best friend] is really pretty but I'm not gonna try to date her" and I'm like, "ok I trust u!" I did not trust him but that's a fight that didn't need to happen so I didn't let it.

We all went out 1 night with 2 other friends and it was very fun and I liked it a lot and then like 2 days later me, my ex, and my best friend made plans to go out and do stuff around town But Then I Got Covid so obviously I couldn't go out. They still went out which makes sense but it still like. Hurt because those were Our plans and now I've been excluded from Our plans.

This is when the bullshit started because allegedly when my best friend tried dropping my ex off at his place he held her hostage in her own car (???) saying shit like, "ohhh i wanna kiss u but i shouldnt" for like 2 hours. Ever since then they contiously complained about each other and I've never ever heard a positive thing from either of them about the other.

Not even a month later thats when I'm like, "okay something is up" because my ex sent me a fuckin. Pokemon go gift from the pokestop beside my best friend's house. When, weeks prior she was like, "I DONT WANT HIM TO KNOW WHERE I LIVE I DONT TRUST HIS ASS".

I keep trying to make plans with my best friend but its always, "oh, no I'm too busy with school. I'm too tired to go out" she was at his house the entire time apparently. She confessed to me like 2 months in, I had her come over and she was like, "you're going to hate me you're going to hate me. [ Your ex ] broke up with me. I loved him and he did this to me" SHE DIDNT EVEN TELL ME THEY WERE DATING SHE TOLD ME BY TELLING ME HE BROKE UP WITH HER? And then tried to say she loved him when I know damn well she didn't

I'm pissed at the overall lack of integrity here. Like yes I think it's fucking weird that she decided she wanted to date my ex boyfriend when she knew everything that happened with us from all the good and nice things to why we broke up. This is an individual I have been extremely sentimental about ever since I met him 10 years ago, someone who has been nothing but nice and passive with me (for the most part). And you got in the way of that. You inserted yourself in between my nice sentiments

The other big part of this I fucking hate is, she told me, "I knew there was a chance you would hate me for this and never talk to me again but I still did it I'm so sorry I'm such a bad friend". But You Still Did It! You ran that chance because I am beneath dirt to you, I am WORTHLESS in your eyes. I am not worth keeping. 17 years all for what. I really should have told her to get out of my apartment right then and there but noooo I'm too good at peace keeping and staying rational, to a detrimental amount !!! "I did this thing I assumed you would never talk to me again over" then why did you do it. Why am I worth throwing away. Unforgivable.

And I know what you're thinking, "why are you just mad at her, he was a part of it too" because I expect it from him. He's uncommitted and indecisive with a need for attention and I can handle it and put him in his place so to speak (uphold boundaries) when need be. It's just another day with him, with my best friend this isn't something I ever wanted to be suspicious of ( especially when she would tell me every day how much she hated him when they were 'dating' )

My best friend is the person who introduced me to "girl code". One of the many rules being, "don't go after your friend's ex" FUNNY!!!!!! How funny. She actually introduced this to me many months prior, before her and my ex ever actually met.

See, she was telling me about girl code because another girl in her group was interested in her ex bf. And she didn't like that. Its the hypocrisy, its the double standard. 'Don't do it to me but i can do it to you'. And then later on, some cable guy came into her then-place of employment and one of her coworkers was flirting with him because they thought he was her ex. When she told me this she told me she didn't appreciate her coworker doing that to her. 😇 I wanted to bring up the hypocrisy then and there but I didn't. Because she can't handle conflict. Any and all anger I have with this situation is unproductive and talking about it with her serves no purpose since the situation has ended and what has been done cannot be undone. But it festers inside me. If I get mad at her, she will come back swinging at me because thats what she does with everyone. Someone starts a fight and she digs her knife in and twists.

Thats all just one issue thats been pissing me off since forever and I'll die mad about it I will be so honest. She's ran my ex's name through the mud and has called him a gaslighter ( this i believe hes tried with me when backed into a corner but i dont fall for it ), a narcissist (she calls everyone she hates a narc btw), a woman beater, an abuser. And like. Because I'm her friend, her best friend (supposedly), I want to believe her. But shes also a self confessed chronic liar. And like, I know my ex, I've known him for 10 years and she knew him for 4 months. We saw each other for a little under 2 years and the worst he ever did to me was avoid me, which did hurt, and then ultimately chose to date someone else, which also hurt.

I realize how shitty this all sounds on my end, like, "oh my friend said this dude abused her but i dont believe it", but its because i know him and i know her and i know she lies about everything

She complains constantly about her other friends, has nothing nice to say about them, they're all toxic narcs too in her words. SO THEN I WONDER!!!!! Wtf is she saying about me. I really do wonder. She's very supportive to my face but it wouldn't surprise me if she talks badly about me to her other friends who she complains about to me.

I can only guess what she would complain about regarding me, my guesses are that she thinks I'm annoying [ gestures to my whole self ] and that I'm dirty.

My apartment is a whole mess and I hate it so so so so so much but I don't have the energy to get it clean. I use my energy doing the dishes over and over and over and over and then everything else falls to shit.

And!!!!!! I have a Filthy Disgusting Unhygienic cat 😁

I've had cats my whole life and she knows DAMNNNNNNNN well they are my favourite things in the entire world. So tell me why does she say to my face with such confidence she thinks they're gross and dirty. I think the men you date are ugly as fuck but you don't hear me saying that to you!!!! She's done it twice, first time was the post just below this and the other was 2 days ago where she said if she's going to move in with this other friend he can't have a cat because she thinks they're dirty.

I've also had a suspicion that she's never eaten anything I've baked. I like to bake. Baking is my talent, art is my skill. I like to give treats to my friends. I don't think my best friend has ever eaten anything I've given her. Probably because she thinks I'm dirty. I've never seen her eat anything I've given her, and anything I Have given her she doesn't acknowledge unless if I ask how it was. I Could give her the benefit of the doubt that she doesn't like eating in front of people and just forgets to say anything. But given everything else, again, I'm not that stupid.

I have no plans on stopping being her friend because she's nice to my face i can just play stupid. But idk if she keeps bringing up the cat thing i might have to be like, "hey man. I get it. You think I'm dirty. You don't have to hang out with me if you don't want to"

I love her but she kinda sucks

[salaciousslut]

"nothing too special" nuh-uh! Very special, amazing even<3 you dont gotta pretend you arent a big deal around me, sweetheart. I already know you are<3

You can take your time with lowering your walls with me thats ok! Esp since uhhm i got an aries moon🫣 i'm a super passionate person, so i worry im over doing it sometimes bc its so easy for me to over do it. So if i ever come off too strong, dont be afraid to let me know. I wanna make sure im respecting your boundaries<33

I know youre fun to be around when yall go out, like its not fair i cant invite you out to places and hang out, like i love love love going out for the sake of doing something with the people you care about!

The artist is kid cudi 🫣 ive been real into his music for idk like 13?? years now if im thinking about it bc i got into his music around 2011 like everyone else who heard Day n Nite on the radio. It would be fun to have you there though!

School's a lot of work so i dont blame you for being stressed, i just wish i could help take away some of that stress. And good! Pretty things like you should be taken care of, so its a shame you gotta take care of yourself.

Wait thats so funny 🤭 also same i feel like if i ever wake up and take a shot i should pack it up and quit drinking. Like ive seen that be what fucked over some of the people in my life so im strict about how much i drink when i drink. I'll probably (hopefully) stay a light weight for a while with how i drink too. And i hope you have fun when you do!! Take a shot in my honor tomorrow night?🤭 and you get it!! Like the thing i want to do/consume can be literally right there 1ft away from me and i'll just be like "wow that would be fun to do" and then just sit there in front of it for the rest of the night like??? Just do the thing! 🙄 its soooo unfair 😔

stopppp you flatter me!!

of course!! communication is the biggest thing for me because i know people cant read minds so i try my best to communicate how i feel with others!! ill always tell you how i feel and you have to promise that you will too okay?? especially bc sometimes i gently bully the people i care about so i never want to cross any boundaries

oooh ive listened to a few of his songs too hehe!! i hope you have fun and drink in his honor!! i had no clue he was 40 tho thats crazy

youre doing a p good job at taking the stress away! i come on and i see you in my inbox and im a lil less stressed hehe!! but also i very used to taking care of myself so itll be an adjustment to have someone care for me

yes of course ill take a few shots in your honor hehehe!!! maybe a few margs, we will see where im going tomorrow!!