#have you ever heard of having fun. of making something for yourself. i dont care if you want another white character

[yusukenui]

AHH ahhh shut uP ! eats you whole. casts get away from me beam

[agirlwithglam]

How to be the “it girl” in school ✨💁‍♀️

Academic validation >> external validation (boys, girls, etc.) : academic validation should always come first if you’re in school. ALWAYS. Your grades and your knowledge will take you far in life, not the approval of some random kids who you probably wont ever even see again. You need to know your priorities.

Romanticise it!: make school fun! Romanticise it. Act like the main character because you ARE the main character and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!

Study for tests: part of being an “it girl” is actually getting good grades. And how do we get good grades? By studying!! Romanticise studying if you want. But just study. Study study study until you can’t get it wrong. Also- stop working just on motivation. Create a routine or schedule where you get in studying everyday and STICK TO IT.

Confidence: walk, talk and act with confidence and confidence only. walk as if you OWN the room. Know that you are worth a million dollars, OWN THAT. Believe in yourself and your abilities. Remember: “you can’t fit in if you were born to stand out!”

Stop caring about what others think of you. people will hate on you and THATS OKAY. Some people will literally hate on like everything. I heard once (from thewizardliz) that there will be a video of cats playing on the internet and there will be a person that figures out how to hate on it. There will be people who just have nothing to do in their lives except try to bring you down so you need to just ignore it. Be protective of your energy.

Style: it’s okay to hop onto different trends, but try to find your own style. It’s okay if your school has a uniform, you can add a ‘signature’ piece of jewellery to your outfit to make you feel a bit better about yourself. Also use a certain scent/ perfume on yourself that just makes you feel a bit more.. ✨you.✨ (also remember it’s perfectly alright to change your style if you get bored once in a while!)

Good hygiene: brush your teeth. Comb your hair. Shower. Make sure your lips aren’t crusty musty dusty. Iron your clothes. Make sure you feel fresh and clean everyday.

Be kind: dont be mean if you have no reason to. If someone comes up to you politely asking a question or talking to you about something, dont give them a side eye, dont look at them as if they’re a clown, be polite and respectful. No one, and i mean NO ONE likes someone who’s rude. You may think it’s cool, but rly.. it isn’t. It’s just icky. Give genuine compliments, smile, treat others to make them feel special. Although do remember that THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BEING kind AND BEING A people pleaser!! Have boundaries and prioritise YOURSELF FIRST.

It girl emojis to use (optional): ✨🩷💌💋🐩🪩📚🎧💗💄🌸👑🎀

Xoxo, Vanilla

[fookingmuffins]

it's time to go

James potter x reader

Summary: Angst. You love James, but it's time to go.

Warning: cheating, screaming and James being a dick.

A/n: lmao I really ran after posting like 4 fics, but I'm doing a little better and even though I'm stressed with uni I've been dying to write something, so I hope y'all enjoy. (This actually took me so long to finish and i dont lobe the ending but i needs to move on, oops)

You sighed as you prepared to open the door to the house you shared with James. Once upon a time, you would've rushed in without a second thought. But lately the war had taken a toll on the two of you. Once happy moments were now filled with fear and dread, making you feel like you were drowning. And no matter how hard you tried to hold on to the love of your life, you could feel him shutting you out. James had always been an open book anyone who ever met him knew that, but lately he had built this wall meant to keep you away, only you. At first, you tried to understand and be patient considering everything you two were going through, but after countless fights of you begging for him to talk to you, you were tired. You squeezed your eyes shut once before pushing the door open and plastering a fake smile in your face, maybe today would be different.

"Jamie, I'm home, I brought your favorite from the bakery by my work!" you shouted into the house buy were greeted with only silence. After checking the house you realized you were alone which immediately sent you into a spiral of worry since James was supposed to be here an hour ago but deciding that maybe he had gotten caught up with something you tried to ignore your panic and start getting ready for your friend's Alice’s engagement party.

You heard the door open and close while you were finishing up with your hair, causing you to get up and genuinely smile when you saw James make his way to the bedroom that the two of you shared.

"I was wondering where you were, I got you some pastries they are in the counter." you tried, but he just gave you a tight-lipped smile with a wave before passing by you to your shared bedroom. You went after him and saw he was getting ready to jump in the shower. Figuring it was going to be another quiet afternoon, you sat at your vanity staring at yourself in the mirror holding back the tears threatening to spill and ruin your makeup and just prayed that at the wedding maybe you two could have fun like you used to. You didn't even realize how long you sat there until you heard James get out of the bathroom and start getting ready, and you decided to just get dressed too and sit by the window with a book while you waited for James to be ready.

"Are you okay?" You were broken out of your train of thought by James’s question.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be. " You answered, giving him a similar smile to the one he gave you when he arrived.

"I don't know, you just keep staring into space, and it's kinda creepy." he tried to joke, but what once would've made you smile and roll your eyes instead caused a knot to form at your throat again, and you felt tears prickling your eyes once again.

"Well what am I supposed to do is not like I can talk to you anymore James you always shut me out, and I don’t know what to do anymore to get you to bring down the walls that keep shutting me out! I don't even know what I did for you to shut me out!" You couldn't help but let out everything for the millionth time, hoping that maybe today would be the last time you two were having this conversation and that he would finally open up and let you two go back to normal.

However, you soon realized that it was only wishful thinking because James immediately lowered his head and mumbled "For fuck's sake y/n not this again"

"Yes, this again, James! Please talk to me! Stop shutting me out, please!" you were a sobbing mess by this point, begging him to let you in, not caring if you ruined your makeup.

But James just shook his head and walked out, "I'll wait for you in the car while you get cleaned up, we can't do this right now, or we’ll be late." just like that, he left you alone frozen with mascara running down your cheeks. You felt numb and just quickly tried to clean up but when you were done and staring at your reflection stare back at you with puffy red eyes you just felt pathetic.

On the way neither one of you talked James kept his eyes on the road while you looked out the window too lost in your thoughts to realize your usual music that would usually be playing while the two of you drove was not playing, James realized, and he felt like he was suffocating in the empty car ride.

The wedding was beautiful and despite your problems you couldn't help but imagine that one day it would maybe be you and James standing in an altar professing your love in front of all your friends and family. You turned to look at him as Alice and Ben were sharing their vows, only to catch him staring at Lily, and she was staring right back at him. You felt something break in you as confusion overtook you. Why is he looking at her?

Was she the reason that you were slowly getting kicked to the curb? Back in Hogwarts everyone knew that James was obsessed with Lily but when she finally gave him a chance things just didn't work out. Then you caught James's attention, and the rest is history.

You tried to focus on the happy couple in the altar as the ceremony came to an end, but you felt someone was stabbing you and twisting the knife.

By some miracle during the reception James asked you to dance which shocked you, but his eyes seemed so sincere and like they were almost begging that you couldn't help but to foolishly be filled with hope once again. As you took his hand, he genuinely smiled at you again the way he used to with that same boyish grin that made you fall for him 5 years ago.

The two of you danced in the center of the dance floor spinning and laughing around, you had not been this happy in so long. After a particularly long fit of giggles, James pulled you closer and looked into your eyes with a spark that the two of you hadn't shared in months. When you two were about to lock lips, someone cleared their throat besides you two and the two of you pulled slightly away.

"James could I have a word with you please?" Lily asked looking at James who immediately pulled away from you and went with her after telling you he'd be right back. Just like that you were brought back to reality the cloud 9 that you had been in for a little bit long gone, and again the sinking feeling invaded you, feeling like you were drowning. You needed a drink.

You went to the bar and after getting your drink you decided it wasn't enough, and you needed air. You walked out of the salon where everybody was and made your way to the garden, and that's when you heard it.

"James! You said you two were over, but it sure as hell doesn't look like it! I can't beli-"

"I know, I know, but I can explain Lily please! I-I-I came here with her because she was embarrassed to come alone, so I promised this would be our last outing together." You felt your heart stop, air getting caught in your throat.

"What? That doesn't-" Lily started as you felt the glass in your hands slip and shatter on the ground.

Both of them froze and looked at where you were standing, you could feel a knot forming in your throat but glared at the pair in front of you with tears forming in your eyes.

"Y/n I can explain!"

" I think both of us want an explanation, James, but she deserves it more. Y/n/n I'm so sorry I had no idea you two were still together." Lily went to walk away and James was about to chase after her when she heard you scoff and as you turned around.

"Say goodbye to Alice and Ben for me, would you? I have to go." you rushed out before basically sprinting to the nearest exit, hearing James chase after you, which wasn't hard considering he was taller than you and an athlete. He grabbed your arm when you two had made it to the parking lot and turned you around.

"So that's why I'm getting the cold shoulder." you blurted out before whatever he was able to utter whatever shit excuse he was going to tell you. You almost wanted to laugh, which made you feel like you were insane, but you thought about all the hours you had spent over the past couple of months looking in the mirror trying to see what was wrong with you, overanalyzing every tiny detail in your face. Laying in bed staring at the ceiling, replaying everything you had done that day that might have set James off.

"No no baby, I swear it's not what it looks like, Lily is just bitter we didn't work out, and she's trying to sabotage us! I've just been so stressed because of it, and I am so sorry I let it out on you."

"Bullshit James! You were literally just talking shit about me before i showed up and ruined your little act." You were seething by this point, and James flinched after your outburst. You had never been one to scream, and he knew that, but right now you honestly felt like nothing was the same and you weren't the same. "A-and you wanted to chase after her and you know what? maybe you should. Maybe you have a better shot at getting her back because we are over James Potter! I-I am so tired... I-" You were crying from all the different emotions you were feeling at that moment. Finally getting some enlightenment about why your relationship was dying gave you some relief of the crushing pain you were feeling being hunted by the "what if's" and "why's" you weren't the problem.

James tried to get close and wrap his arms around you. god he felt like an idiot for hurting you. He honestly doesn't know what he was thinking. He had hoped you never found out and had planned to break up with Lily soon enough, but he just needed to explore a little what it could've been like if he had stayed with her. Plus the thrill of it was something that James had loved for the time being, but he never wanted to hurt you. His heart broke at the sight of you, he couldn't imagine what you were feeling.

"Don't even think about it! Don't ever touch me again don't ever look at me, I hate you so much Potter, I don't want to know anything about you from this day on James! We now mean nothing to me, we are strangers!" You glared at him in a way he had never seen you look at anyone, and felt his heart drop.

He tried to protest, feeling the tears leave his own eyes at the idea of losing you completely forever. But you just turned around and walked away.

[blarshwritezz]

hi if u dont mind i would love a mafia x male spy reader (gn if you ur not comfy with that) so the mafia boss pretends to be the mission partner for the reader just for fun he almist kileed the reader on multiple occasions but the reader misunderstands and thinks that the mafia boss was just helping him albeit in a weird and rather violent way and although reader has a suspicion that his partner (the mafia boss) isnt who he says he is due to skme odd similarities between him and the target of his mission (that being the Mafia boss) and the fact that his partner could easily waltz in notorious criminals manors and party and one day everything just clicks for the reader and they try to escape but the mafia boss knew thus so he kidnapped em and the live happily ever after (idk how to end this so just do what you deem fit ty!!!)

(oh yeah its fine if ur not comfortable or just don't want to make my request im not paying you so you hqbe no obligations to do so remember to take care of yourself <333 /p)

(and if i could could i become 🦀 anon)

Yes! Welcome, 🦀 anon!

Yandere Mafia Boss x Spy Reader

M yan x gn reader (sorry, I prefer to do gn for non-nsfw asks)

TW - general yandere behavior, drugging, implied kidnapping

Your mission was simple, at least on paper. Simply gain intel on a notorious mafia boss. But if it was that easy, you wouldn't have been working at it for so long.

It didn't help that your partner for this mission was...unusual. Not a bad guy, really, just strange. Sometimes you almost thought he was trying to kill you. You'd often catch him staring at you. You even felt his gaze when you swore no one was around.

Not to mention, danger was ever prevalent around him. He always managed to save you, though. But his face did often look rather annoyed...you just assumed he was one of those people with a really bad rbf.

But it was also suspicious how he was able to so easily and casually waltz into the homes or parties of very high-profile people. People you'd never be able to get near without months of careful planning. Maybe he just had good connections?

But all these coincidences were getting a bit too...convenient. If you needed to get in somewhere, he got you in the front gate. If you needed something, he miraculously had it only a day or two after at the latest.

And worst of all, you still haven't managed to track down this damn mafia boss! It didn't help that nobody knew what he looked like.

"Maybe he's right under your nose." His deep voice startled you out of your thoughts. His arm was wrapped around your shoulder, holding you close. Despite his cold exterior, he was pretty touchy and clingy. But...sort of sweet. You were glad to have met him, even if this mission was looking like a bust.

"But where? Where haven't we checked?"

"Well, our organization may be high security, but not impossible to infiltrate for a man like that." Was he implying that one of your own coworkers could be your target? Impossible!

But...now it all seemed to come together. Those coincidences...weren't just coincidences. He really has been right under your nose this whole time.

No wonder he could go wherever he wanted and get anything he desired. He had power and influence...more than you thought.

"I-Impossible! Our organization has the highest security possible! I'd know if someone like that could be...beside me..." It was a sad attempt to cover up your newest theory, but also to try and reassure yourself. If this was true, then you weren't as good of a spy as you thought...

You got up, or tried to at least. He kept his grip tight on you.

He knew.

"I can't just let you go now. You know my identity. So I'll just have to keep you as my newest little toy." In seconds his arm lowered to prevent you from moving your arms as he quickly used his other to cover your mouth and nose with a rag.

Chloroform.

"Just sleep...Be a good pet and I'll be sure to reward you very well..." Despite your struggling, sleep soon took you. No one ever heard from you again...no one but him, of course.

I'm sorry, this one feels so rushed and short, I was having a tough time getting inspired 😭

Forgive me, 🦀 anon, for I have failed

[kuni-is-daddy]

Thinking about Scara making us rub his cock with our pussy until we both cum

DOM! BOSS SCARAMOUCHE X FEMALE BODYGUARD READER.

100 followers special AHH OMFG TY.

PURE FILTH.

Juicy stuff: Grinding,Recording, at a desk :<, Yandere themes

Featuring: CHILDE, he's your bestie in the start :) had so much fun writing Childe in this KKLMK I LOVE HIM❤️❤️😩

1.2K WORDS.

amazing art credits! Scara masterlist Part 1 of Boss scara.

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT.

Stillness, Silence. The complete opposite of thunder. And that was his mother, The raiden shogun. God of thunder. Rumors spread around the elaborate 'Gakaden' company that once again her excellency has cancelled another meeting with her son. Its been 200 years since he's last seen her, heard her voice. Scaramouche was only able to rejoice in the sweet sent she left from each letter that was sent in her fluid handwriting.

"Y/n Y/n!" Childe said while tapping your shoulder. "Ah! Childe!! you scared me. Dont sneak up on me like that!" you nudged his shoulder in return. "Hah hah. sorry comrade~ anyway. Did you hear about scara?" you closed the book, bookmarking where you left off. "Yeah our Excellency is quite the busy woman. At least now i can catch up on my book" you smiled. "Why'd you ask? Is everything okay?" You gave a concerned look and the ginger then laughed at you. "Well the thing is.....IM GOING BACK HOME!!!" he took out a picture of teucer and the rest of his siblings. They we're wearing christmas sweaters while holding a 'welcome home' sign. "oh shit really!? your going back to snezhnaya? Thats great childe! how long are you going to be gone?" "hmm probably a month or two. Scara said we needed a break." Childe said "We? what do you mean by we?" You looked at him suprised. "Soo...You dont know gurly?" You gave a straight face. "No- I dont know GUrLy" "Scara is giving us a month off from work. He said something about wanting time to himself and-- I dont know the rest. To be honest, all i know is that we come back next month on the 30th." You scanned the room to see your fellow co-workers organizing their desks and holding boxes in their hands. "Seriously!? Thats great! That means i can go back home and-" Suddenly. The intercom rang with a short beep.

"If Y/N L/N Is still present in the building, Please report to Lord Scaramouche's Office Immediately!"

You tilted your head at the request. "Oooo did you get in trouble y/n??" "No? Or at least.. I hope not." You got up and placed your book back on your desk. Sighing at the sudden realization you we're gonna be by yourself without your 'best friend' for another month. "hey hey.. Cheer up okay? Its only a month and besides. WE CAN ALWAYS TEXT!!" childe waved his phone in your face, your sad expression then turning into a happy one. "HEY THERE GURLY-" "YOU LOOK WELL" "CARE TO EXCHANGE.." "NOTES?" The both of you giggled and then hugged eachother one final time. "Im gonna miss you so much ajax~" "of course, The one time you say my name its when im leaving-."

The intercom rang again. "Y/N... L/N.... REPORT TO LORD SCARAMOUCHE'S OFFICE IMMEDIATELY." now with a more nervous tone then ever. "God. Wonder whats going on over there they need me so bad." "Well..Ill be seeing you Comrade. Take care for me okay?" He gave you a kiss on the forehead, ending it off with you two doing your signature handshake as he walked out of the company.

While climbing the many floors you eventually made it to the 13th floor. Your master's office. You slowed down your stroll in the long cold dark hallway at the sound of pleads and yells. "P-PLEASE LORD SCARAMOUCHE.. I DONT KNOW WHERE SHE IS. I ASKED THROUGH THE WHOLE BUILDING TWICE, HAVE MERCY-" It sounded like the woman on the intercom. "Twice? I said bring her to my fucking office. Not call her, Not ASK around for her. Bring her. But you cant even do your goddam job." you put your hand against the doorknob, conflicting weather you should intervene or not. "Your nothing. Do you know that? Nobody special. I dont care about your family, Your kids, Or your life. Under me, Your just someone i hired for my mothers sake. Just a worker. Replaceable like the rest of the humans in here." You turned the doorknob, hoping to intervene in what sounded like the potential murder of your co-worker. She was being held by her throat, hovering over the balcony while scara held his signature katana in his other hand. "KUNI- STOP!" he turned his head immediately at the use of that name. The woman fell, gasping for air while recklessly running for her life out of the building.

"Hm. So you are here, Close the door." he dropped his blade in its stand and walked towards you. You closed the door, making sure it was locked and immediately turned your head. "Kuni? What the hell was that? Why did you try to KILL that woman??" He rubbed his hand along your shoulder. "Does it realllyyy matter baby? I can just hire a new one you know." he scoffed. "Kuni. Humans arent replaceable. You cant just KILL someone like that." "Mhm..Your right. Cant replace you and that sexy body of yours~" He grew closer to you, Placing your hand against his tie. "W-well..You wont have to worry about me. Or Ajax leaving..Anyway..Why did you call me in here- Master." He pulled away at your change in tone. If theirs one thing that drove kuni crazy about you, is how persistent you we're with work. Still managing to stay perfessional. He sat back behind his desk, Clicking his pen with a laid back expression. "Not in a good mood today pet, Was hoping you could change that f' me~" The balcony door was still open a bit behind him, the warm summer air breezed through the room. Making you tug at your own suit with how hot it started to feel, How intimidating he looked from across the room as you stood at the door. "O-okay..Where do you want me to go master? Do you want to go out to eat? I just have to get my case and-" he sighed and began unzipping his pants.

"Come here and ill show you~" You we're nervous at how intimate he sounded but reluctantly walked towards him. He looked you up and down, noticing how similar your outfit was to his. How your hips curved around the belt. "Want you to sit..Right here..." He rubbed his hands against his thighs, Motioning for you to sit. "B-but we shouldnt do it here- theirs people still working kuni-" He sucked his teeth at your remark. "You think i fucking care Pet? dont want to make master more mad do you?" "N..no..I dont." You closed the blinds to the balcony, remembering how you almost witnessed another womans murder infront of your eyes.. over you. You faced scara and blushed. Turning your head away while stripping each piece of clothing off of you until you wore nothing but lacey black lingerie. "God..You look so hot in those.." he groaned as you hovered over his cock. positioning your pussy right against it, "Grind on daddys cock. Fuck yes~" He threw his head back as your hands held onto the chair for stability.

"A-am i doing good for you master...?" he pressed his hands against your ass, slapping them as they made contact "AH~" "Hell yeah.. Your doing so good' want you wet for me." He shifted his hands towards your underwear, slowly making them shift down so he could see your clit. "K-kuni! what are you doing.." "Ugh~ turn your head back up- Wanna feel your clit rubbing against me" He pulled your underwear down, Repositioning you so your clit rubbed against his big length, Teasing you as your hole ached for him to be inside of you. "Master~ Your so big..hah..." "Yeah you like that pet? Like how good it feels against you?" Wet stains started to emerge on his pants as you grinded faster against him, Chasing the burning feeling he gave you. "K-kuni~ Feels so' good~ Please..fuck me.." you shifted your grip away from the chair, now tightly holding onto him instead. "Mmm dont think thats good enough love, Beg for it." Begging. Kuni always made you beg and scream for him, He loved hearing how desperate you we're for him to fill you up. To claim you as his. Watching as you cried in frustration when he'd pull out just when your about to cum. "K-KUNI~ PLEASE M' SO CLOSE" "Shit~ keep moaning like that, cum for daddy, cum for me. and ill fuck you. Fuck~ hah...bounce those tits for me. You look so fucking good~" he slowly pulled his phone out, Recording how your tongue stuck out for him and your tits bounced. How you looked like a dog in heat. "Fuck..Thats it y/n Dont stop, dont fucking stop." "AH~ K-KUNI M' GONNA CUM~ KUNI!!!!!!!!"

Your juices squirted all over kuni's pants as he came at the same time as you. You looked up to notice him recording you and covered your face in embarassment. "Mmm... is my little slut embarassed? god look at the fucking mess you made." He let his phone fall down on the floor. Roughly grabbing you and placing you against the desk. "K-Kuni! Dont be so- MMM~" he tied his tie around your mouth. Throwing his clothes onto the floor and picking up his phone once again. "Shit...Cant get enough of you y/n~ love how this pussy is all mine~ are you mine pet?" you nodded your head with no hesitation.

"Fuck yes. Im gonna break you."

[d6volution]

ASKS ARE OPEN BLESS

anyways!!

jax w a milf reader. mommy kink.

okay, i got quite a few requests for something like this, so i decided to write something small to test the waters...... ehmm i dont feel very confident in this department, but if the feedback is good, then i will write a part two. ☺️

tags: sub!jax , vibrators, overstim, mommy kink, light bondage.

"L.. Look, y/n.. I already apologized to gangle— zooble and .. kinger just.. let me out of this crap, yeah?" Jax tried to use his usual charm on you but it was becoming painstakingly clear that you didn't care. You simply hummed in response and this only made him that much more agitated.

After all, it wasn't every day he was literally tied up to the headboard of his own bed.

"Mhm, mhm.. and that's what you said last week Jax... and.. the week before that.." You smiled and straddled his lap and he grunted, shifting a little.

"Yeah, and? Ever heard of having fun toots?" He said and studied your expression.

"Oh, suure.. in fact, I think this will be lots of fun after all." You trailed a hand down his chest. Slowly removing the straps of his overalls, allowing them to fall down his shoulders. You watched him closely, but he looked to the side. Avoiding your gaze as heat crept on his cheeks.

"Y.. Yeah, but not when I'm .. tied up doll, heh— d.. don't you think this is a bit much?" Jax swallowed, trying his best to control himself, but his body was actively giving him away.

"Too much? I think it's just fine.." You rocked your hips a little and you could feel the bulge pressing against your thigh. "See?" You chuckled, "You're usually much more confident Jax.. what's going on, hmm? Mommy making you nervous?"

"You wish, babe." His hands tugged at the resitraints once again, "A—And you can't blame me for getting turned on.. tied up or not you're still hot. But, this ain't my thing doll." He said in a frustrated tone and you removed yourself from his lap, leaving his bulge out in the open no longer hidden between the valley of your thighs.

"Too bad, Jax. This is punishment you know. For causing so much chaos in the circus. My poor little gangle, do you really love making her cry that much?" You spoke while digging in your bag of 'toys'. Jax was actively trying to pull against his restraints and see what you were grabbing. "Look I already said I was sorry, what more do ya want from m—"

You were walking back towards him with something behind your back and Jax squinted. ".... whats that?"

You hummed and yanked his overalls down, slipping them from under beneath him. "You'll see."

"Just be a good boy and stay still for me," Jax shuddered at your words unconsciously, he couldn't think of any smart remark when he watched your pretty hands pull his dick from its confines, he was already semi-hard.

"Nnh.." He gasped as you attached a egg vibrator to the base of his cock right along one of the veins that protruded from his girth. You didn't waste time in turning it on the medium setting, with the little remote you held in your hands. A smirk playing on your lips.

His ears immediately shot up and his pupils got small, "W.. What the h- hell..!" He jolted, his hips bucked forward as pleasure coursed through his body without warning.

"How's that feel hmm? Nice and snug?"

"Th.. this is nothin'— ghhk..!" He tensed up again as you switched the setting to its highest, the buzzing sound got louder as it stimulated his dick, which was completely hard and standing at attention now.

"Shhh, that's it." You climbed next to him and stroked his chest. Your fingers tip toed down to his hard shaft and fingers danced around the tip which was already dripping with precum. "You can take it right? After all, I did promise Ragatha I would help mend her dress this afternoon.. so stay here and be a good boy for me okay?"

"W.. What you.. you aren't gonna— ngh.. leave me here right? C-Come on doll, hh— mmf!" You shoved your panties into his mouth. "Found these in your room too." You smiled, it was warm and gentle. Completely contradicting your actions.

"And to answer your question, yes, this is punishment remember dear?"

"Now, if you cum before I get back.. well, this will not the be the worse thing you go through.~"

You switched it down to the medium setting, just enough to keep him going but not enough to get him there completely. He groaned and pulled against the resitraints as you walked out of the door, shutting and locking it behind you.

Jax shuddered and bucked his hips against the vibrator, his eyes getting glossy from the stimulation.. all he could do was sit there and take it. His moans muffled by the underwear in his mouth.

About 45 minutes went by before you entered the room again, Jax immediately perked up, his eyes were glossy from crying and his hands were trembling beneath the restraints. The once sassy bunny was being reduced to whining and begging mess before your eyes. And it was absolutely delicious..

"Hmm? Something you wanna say?" You said and sat next to him on the bed, removing the gag gently from his mouth he began to beg before the gag was even fully out.

"Pl.. please, please... y/n.. l... let me cum.. f..fuck.." He whimpered , but still couldn't face you. It was too embarrassing but he couldn't take it, he was so close but this wasn't enough to push him over the edge.

"Oh? Now you wanna be nice? Gonna look at me, little bunny?" You said and tilted your head a little, trying to catch his gaze.

He finally looked you in the, feeling more pathetic than ever. "Mm...mommy.. please... j..just let me come.."

Now you were a little taken aback, either he was extremely easy to break or... he was actually more into this then he was letting on. You felt your stomach do flips , being called mommy by the one person in the circus who seemed the most against it was invigorating.

"Hmm.. I'm not convinced. Beg some more and I'll let you come baby." You leaned in and placed a kiss on his jaw, trying your hardest to keep your hands off of him. This was for punishment , he didn't deserve that yet.

He looked frustrated by your demands but that was quickly wiped away by the pleasure that washed over him again as he got closer to his climax once more. Unfortunately it he didn't comply it'd probably fizzle out again.

"Nnhg.. please, please.. mommy... need to cum.. please.. i.. ill be a good boy.. pr-promise.." Suddenly the vibrator was turned up to high and he immediately came like clockwork, ropes of cum shot from his angry tip and all over his chest. He groaned and panted, his body trembling from the release.

"Mmn.. there you go, not so hard was it..?" You smiled and turned the vibrator off, giving him a chance to finally relax his body. "Such a good boy for me.. think you can take some more, hmm..?"

"Mmn.. w-won't tell anyone..?" He said, still strung out from his high.

"It'll be our little secret.~" You purred.

[anyonewannasteponme]

Summary: Your Uncle Aegon enjoys sneaking into your room at night and making you his. Especially after you’ve misbehaved. (Also Helaena and Aemond are married because I say so)

Warnings: Incest, Explicit Sexual Content, Impact Play, Slight Non-Con

Authors Note: I want to preface by saying that I haven’t watched House of The Dragon yet so if I write Aegon a little out of character take that into consideration please this is far from perfect I just wanted to write something for fun. I just want a horrible man to ruin me <3

Your stomach was in knots, an acute feeling of dread had been plaguing you ever since you had stormed off from the disastrous family dinner. You felt awful, your Grandsire had only been trying to achieve one thing between your Mother and Brothers and Alicent Hightower and her boys. Unity. And it had been going well, until conversation had been shifted to Luke and Jaces legitimacy due to your Uncle Aemond’s unfathomable pride. Strong boys, he had called them knowing exactly what open wound to poke and prod.

Sure enough after Aemond slipped in the strong comment he and Jace were fighting. Helaena had let out a gasp as her husband got a punch to the jaw, one he rightfully deserved in the moment. You’d left shortly after, stormed out you supposed, you were furious. Unlike your brothers you had Targaryen features, like your brothers you were very much a bastard. It was just easier for everyone to pretend that you werent. You could pass as a true born Targaryen with your gleaming violet eyes and silver hair. Luke and Jace had a much harder time than yourself and you wished with all your heart that you could save them from the cruelties of the court. What had really wound you up was Aegon. The way he had slammed your brother down against the table unflinchingly had you fuming. How he could share your bed, yet insult your whole identity was a mystery.

A sharp rap on your door signalled his arrival. You knew from the brief few second pause between the previous violent knocks before a string of more followed more aggressive than the last that Aegon was at the door. “I do not wish to see you right now Uncle.” You whisper shouted, aware that if someone heard you refuse his entrance they’d likely try and send you to the dungeons. “I dont give two shits.” Aegon slurred, slamming on the door frame, the wooden piece rattling in its hinges. You muttered a variety of unladylike words in your head when you observed your sheer nightgown. Nipples slightly pebbling through the fabric. You were in no way ready to receive visitors. Especially not when you knew Aegon was already in a foul mood.

You opened the door wearily. Aegon barged in, his blond hair was ruffled, signalling his feverishness. “I saw you staring at him.” He barked suddenly, you jolted backwards, surprised but not shocked at his incapability to process your own feelings of anger and humiliation instead jumping to what was bothering himself. “What do you mean?” You said softly, careful with your words. “Dont play the fool.” He scoffed running a hand through his silvery blonde hair. Scrutinising you, as if he could see the cogs in your little brain whirring, desperately trying to process his accusations. Whilst you thought Aegon stared. Taking in your skantily clad figure, the sheer nightgown he had bought for you.

Wearing it still evoked a pang of guilt in your chest, knowing you were betraying your immediate family by having such relations with Aegon. Your mother would not know what to say if or rather when she figured out her sweet girl, her only daughter was involved with her younger brother, the epitome of unruliness and cruelty. Naturally it was futile to wish for approval you would never get from her, yet you knew the conversation at some point must occur. Especially since it had been many moons since Aegon had started visiting your bedchambers with a promise to make you a mother, a wife and a queen. A queen. The title promised to your mother.

You didnt bother mentioning that you had no interest in your other Uncle. You were devoted to Aegon and Aegon alone, but you knew he would not hear it. You had been looking at Aemond, an atrocity he would not let go unpunished. Even if you had only been staring because the conversation of your Brothers legitimacy had you on edge. You were waiting for him to target you next, worried for what would happen if Aegon was in the room if Aemond ridiculed you. Would he even defend your honour? Or would he leave you to wallow in the shame of your mothers infidelity.

“Were you waiting for Aemond?” Aegon whispered his voice husky and deep with rage. “Maybe he’s on his way now, ready to spill himself deep into the womb of his spoiled whore of a niece.” You flinched at his degradation. “Aemond is a devoted husband to Helaena.” You whimpered voice meeker than you wished it to be. The blood of the dragon ran through your veins, yet your own fire was stifled by the terrifying glint in Aegon’s eyes. He stalked towards you, expression stony and serious. More serious than you ever saw him.

“He called my brothers bastards.” You snapped, trying desperately to change the conversation and avoid his wrath. “Strong boys he called them and you sat there drank your wine and laughed.”

“Him or me.” He said simply, ignoring you trying to shift his attention, his tone sent shivers down your spine.

If you were a smart girl and Aemond was unmarried you would have chosen him. He was infinitely kinder compared to Aegon even if he couldn’t keep his mouth shut. But you weren’t a smart girl, and Aegon was not a smart man. He should have bed and married his sister, Heleana regardless of his own wants and needs.

“You.” is what you would have said, had Aegon’s hand not whipped upwards to tighten around your neck, warm and strong and unrelenting. “Him or me.” He repeated his eyes the deepest purple, bordering on black, with lust or anger you could not say. He leant in, mouth pressed agaisnt your ear. “You are not his to take.” He growled. “You are mine to fuck, to seed, to marry, do you understand my darling niece? For as long as I am alive you will remain mine.” He released you when you began to claw at his wrists with desperation for air. Your vision was blurring, tiny pinpricks of black surrounded your Uncle. Tears welled in your eyes, a stinging sensation building in your nose. Aegon released his grip. “Get on the bed.”

You wanted to claw your hair out, to scream, to cry, to beg for him not to punish you for something he had invented of his own accord. But you didn’t. You got on the bed as Aegon began to unbuckle his belt. He gave you a stern look and begrudgingly you moved into the position he wanted you in, arse up ready for his punishment. Maybe he’d fuck your arsehole until it bled, make it impossible for you to leave your room the next day, or would he spank you red raw until you couldn’t sit down because of the pressure on the blue-black bruises he’d given you. You knew he was thinking about which way he wanted to take his anger out on you.

The bed dipped with Aegon’s weight. He grabbed your hips roughly pulling you against his clothed stomach, you were arched like a stretching cat, the way he loved to take you. He administered one searing slap against your left arse cheek with his belt, you convulsed in his arms at the impact wanting to cry alloud at the pain of one strike. “I know it hurts.” He whispered directly into your ear, his warm breath tickling your earlobe and sending a flush of addictive pleasure between your legs. “But when you behave like a whore you get treated like one.” You couldn’t stop the growl that escaped your lips. Aegon let out a burst of laughter, delighted at your anger, sorrow and neediness.

“Do you not like that name my sweet?” He condescended. “No I think you like it very much.” He ran a hand down your raised thigh, the further down he traced the closer he got to your aching centre. You closed your legs, trying to hide your wetness from him. In response Aegon grabbed a fistful of your hair and wrenched your head back so far you were sure your scalp would be bleeding. “Listen to me.” He pried your legs open with the hand opposite to the one abusing your hair. “I am going to ruin your cunt. I am going to use you to make myself cum and then when your so swollen and desperate from all the orgasms I deny you I will shove my cock back in and push my cum deep inside you.” He leaned in closer. “You come before I tell you its alright then you will be punished, you fail to satisfy me and you will be punished.” With that you felt his blunt head push against your hole. Aegon was collecting your slick before slamming his hips into yours.

“Your pulsing.” He grunted. “Your pussy is trying to push me out.” You didn’t doubt him one bit, the lack of preparation had you engulfed in an excruciating stretch as Aegon pounded you with no restraint all you could do was grasp desperately at the furs on your bed and gurgle as Aegon had his way with you. He clapped a hand over your mouth as a means to quiet you down. But you couldn’t help the sounds escaping your mouth when he changed positions, pounding the spot inside you that always made you crumble around him. “Do not cum.” He growled, you mewled. It wasn’t possible. “I can’t hold it Aegon.” You gasped. “You must.” He replied curtly. He continued to brutally thrust into you. You could feel him pulsing as well, his cock twitching inside you as he continued to fuck you desperately. He was close, but so were you.

You tried to think of anything but the approach of your orgasm, wiggling in your gut like an unwanted worm. You thought of how Aegon demanded respect when he fucked you. You wondered when you saw how he interacted with Alicent if when he was with you that was the only time he was ever in control of his life. You thought about how your mother would be queen. How no matter how often Aegon said he’d make you his queen he didn’t wish to be king even a little bit.

It distracted you for a bit before Aegon began to vocalise his pleasure, grunting and groaning in your ear as if he knew how much it would turn you on. “Dont cum inside please.” You whispered. Aegon flipped you over, legs over his shoulders. “Oh I’m coming inside.” He smirked at whatever expression of horror you must have plastered on your face. “Lets hope it takes and my babe grows in your pretty girl womb.” You let out a gasp of irritation as he slowed his thrusts, the burst of pleasure you had been feeling in the moment dissipating with the loss of his deep thrusting. “You want to come for me?” Aegon asked. You nodded your head vigorously. “Then say that you belong to me. That no one fucks your cunt as well as I do. That you want no one other than Aegon Targaryen.”

“I belong to you.” Aegon resumed his thrusting, growing more frantic and sloppy as he neared his release, you keened. “No one fucks my cunt as well as you do.” If anyone walked past usually you would be mortified, sounding like a commonplace whore. Yet you could care less, having gone dumb on his cock the minute his tip met your entrance. “I want no one other than Aegon Targaryen.” You gasped as your orgasm overtook you the minute you finished saying what he had asked of you. It hit you hard and intense from Aegon’s edging. He growled as he felt you tighten impossibly around him.

Aegon cursed as he came, spilling himself deep into you regardless of what you asked. Terror spiked in your gut. “What if I have a child Aegon.” For a second you were expecting him to shut you down. To say something along the lines of “I already father a dozen bastards whats one more going to do.” Instead he pressed a kiss to your temple, “I dont think anyone would bat an eye if you and I were to wed.” You gasped, stiffening beneath him. “Are you asking me to marry you?” You whispered, barely believing what you were hearing. “I would like nothing more. If you will have me.” You felt tears prick in your eyes, guiding him back to your entrance as you pressed a deep kiss against his lips.

You always forgave him too quickly.

“If you want it to take you’ll need to cum more than once.” You whispered, tucking his hair behind his ear. Aegon grinned, pulling out and angling his hips as he prepared to fuck you again.

[romanarose]

Puzzle Pieces Drabbles: part 2

Ben Miller x Fem!Reader

Fic Summary: You're dating Tom, a whirlwind romance that came at a low point in your life. Within months, you live with him and he's not as nice as he was in the begining. Tom does things that upset you, Benny finds a way to make it better.

Chapter Summary: Tom won't come look at your tomatoes. Based on a tumblr post I cant find.

Warnings: IDK what to call this but it's def shitty behavior throughout. Will progressively get worse during the series but let's start with this. Drinking. Someone not appriciating your excitment.

A/N: This will be a short series of comfort drabbles where Tom does something shitty and Ben makes it better. No smut. I'm at a low point rn and just want softness.

This is my submission for Triple Frontier Write-a-Thon !!! come join in the fun and follow @triplefrontier-anniversary to find more fics!!!

************************

“TOM!!!!!” You scramble up from your garden patch to where you were tending to your plants, standing to see Tom and Ben drinking on the porch.

Tom turns, looking worried. “What? What happened?!”

“My tomato’s bloomed!!!” You say with a wide grin, giddy with excitement.

He relaxes. “Oh my god. Is that it? Woman, you scared the shit out of me.” He went back to his grilling.

Your shoulder slump a little. “Sorry… I was just excited…” You point to your garden. “It’s just… the tomatoes!!!” Ben is watching curiously, but he doesn’t say anything.

Tom flips a burger. “Uh huh. That’s nice honey.”

Ben asks a question now. “The tomatoes?”

Muttering, Tom explains with a wave of his hand. “She was trying to get the tomatoes to grow forever.”

“So will you please come see them?” You try to get him to come over, but he just looks over the railing.

“Uh-huh, they look great.” 

Your hands drop to your side. “Tom, you can’t even see them.”

“They look… so cool” Is he… laughing? He’s laughing at you. You don’t turn to look at Ben, you couldn’t bear to see him laughing at you too. So, you simply go back to your garden, tending to the weeds, trying to immerse yourself in the classical music you heard helps plants grow. You don’t even hear him walk up to you at the garden bed.

“Oh!” Your startle when Benny kneels down next to you, getting in the dirt with you.

“Shit, sorry.” Ben chuckles, his floppy dirty blonde hair falling in his eyes. You wonder if he ever had an emo phase. “I wanted to see the tomatoes”

You roll your eyes but laugh. “You don’t want to see my tiny green tomatoes.”

He is completely sincere, blue eyes shining in the summer sun as he smiles. He has a pretty smile. “I do, actually.” You ignore the flutter in your chest.

So, you show them to him, Benny sounding very impressed as he looks. He tells you how his therapist wanted him to try getting plants to have something to take care of, briefly mentioning that he feels like he was always the one being cared for. He chuckles when he says ‘guess I’m not responsible enough to keep a succulent alive’, but you can feel the truth behind his words. You offer to help him if he wants to try again. Benny lights up at that.

You want to know what he’s in therapy for, why he feels like he’s not responsible enough for a plant, you want to know so much more about him… but you don’t ask. Ben isn’t your boyfriend, Tom is. You loved Tom, you were going to marry Tom. Ben… Ben was just a nice bonus, right?

***************

Remember, if they dont care about the things you care about, they arent the one!!! someon will care <3

follow @romana-updates for more!!

@my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction@itspdameronthings @miraclesabound @missdictatorme @rubyfruitjungle @axshadows @pimosworld @casa-boiardi

[piqtescue]

If your watching "Under The Bridge" or planning to, here's a PSA from someone born & raised in that city. Oh, and Kelly's personal info and location bc she deserves absolutely no peace✨😊

((if you dont know this series, or who im talking about, I swear to god I do not do reveal personal information lightly and take revealing someone else's very seriously- but Kelly is a cold blooded psychopath and I urge you to google what she did))

I couldn't believe it when I heard the worst crime that has ever happened in my city was going to be made into a fucking hulu drama... I used to be so intrigued by true crime renditions, but this has made me rethink it all. The murder of Reena is something that makes us as locals sick to our stomachs, is still a very open wound to our city and her family and every day so many of us are forced to drive over the Craigflower Bridge, the place where she was brutally murdered. She was 14.

I never plan to watch "Under The Bridge" on Hulu as I really don't need it replayed back to me in a miniseries, but just need to give some PSA's here + gonna give you some recent photos of Kelly/Kerry and her location because she doesn't deserve the luxury of people forgetting what she fucking did:

To start, I'm not throwing shade to anyone watching the show- I know this doesn't affect everyone the same. Just want to make sure this bitch's face & the real story is plastered in your mind so you can publicly shame her if you wish, and realize this isn't just a miniseries- this actually happened.

Though the author who wrote the book this was based on was in search for their "humanity"- there is zilch in that sector for Kelly Ellard. None. See, Kelly was a teen when she lead the brutal murder of Reena and you might be pointing "upbringing and trauma/mental health" to blame- but don't even go there for a second. Warren is 100% holding the same sin for what they did but displayed actual guilt and talked to her parents. He knows what he did wrong and will live for it the rest of his life.

Kelly, a privileged psychopath from birth, is a disgusting, soulless slime who deserves nothing but to suffer for the rest of her days. Go read up on her parole hearings and realize in no way is she remorseful and in no way does she deserve to walk free or be a mother. She doesn't deserve to fucking breathe. Though if you read her most recent parole hearing, you will hear her speak of this series being "disrespectful to Reena's family": I want you to know she has finally learned to say what they want her to say after all these years; she doesn't give any fucks about Reena's family, all she cares about is leaving the past behind her but jokes on her- she will never get that luxury because we as residents won't let her.

✨Here's her new name/photos/insta account/location, ect✨

-She goes by Kerry Marie Sim now

✨Photos of what she looks like presently: here, and here and here.

✨Instagram: kehrisima007

Fun fact! In the second link I provided, she uses the hashtag "legally kidnapping our children" in relation to the Ministry of Child and Family Development's (canadian version of DCFS) involvement in her life. That was posted in 2021. Her day parole was then continued in 2022 & 2024, and it's unknown if she still lives with her children, but lets hope to god not.

✨Location:

Going by this article, she might be serving her sentence in the Fraser Valley Institution for Women, or might just have had her parole hearings there. But apart from the prison she's in, she is most definitely doing her day parole in the lower mainland of BC, from the looks of her instagram she hangs around Surrey and Langley.

----------

To end this PSA, if you ever do visit our city and are intrigued by this case as a true crime story enthusiast, I urge you to not come to the Gorge where Reena lost her life at in interest/excitement, but come with the intention of paying your respects and give a thought on just how far teen bullying can go, and how you yourself can advocate for it not to get to that point. Whether it be awareness, talking to your kids about speaking up or advocating for public discussion.

And if Kerry ever sees this: we will never let you have peace. You get no peace for your acts, and we will never. fucking. forget.

[paingoes]

Destroyer is afk

(Masterlist)

another sherbet colored update. i really love simulating internet speech in writing i think its so fun

(Content: death mention, past trauma, self loathing, comfort??)

=======================

no posts in a month its over

they got him omg </3

Did indy fucking die?

RIP INDY

ndhakdvsnnd: can you guys stop saying that im dead  ndhakdvsnnd: also no more leaks until further notice. stop asking.

sunspot: Hey you don’t have to talk to us if you don’t want to but can you please give us some indication you’re still alive? 

sunspot: We’re really worried.

katkittykat: omg look at this video :3

katkittykat: have u ever seen a shark move like that in all ur life that shit is so crazy

katkittykat: hey where have u been lololol

katkittykat: are u mad at me :c

katkittykat: if its somethin i did can we talk abt it ??? 

katkittykat: okk ur making me nervous 

katkittykat: OH SHIT UR BACK

katkittykat: WTF

ndhakdvsnnd: hey sorry 

katkittykat: bro where did u go!!!! D:

ndhakdvsnnd: had to travel somewhere i couldnt bring my laptop

katkittykat: im rlly glad ur ok! 

ndhakdvsnnd: do you want me to send you the next batch

katkittykat: uhh yea only if ur up to it. whenever ur ready :3c

ndhakdvsnnd: i can do it now

katkittykat: ty sweetness

katkittykat: sunny wants u to answer him lol hes having an aneurysm xD

ndhakdvsnnd: okay

ndhakdvsnnd: hi

sunspot: Hey! 

ndhakdvsnnd: kitty said you wanted to talk to me

sunspot: Yes I wanted to know if you were okay because we hadn’t heard from you in a while

ndhakdvsnnd: obviously

sunspot: ?

sunspot: Why is that obvious?

ndhakdvsnnd: how would i be typing if i wasnt okay

sunspot: That doesn’t even make sense ?

sunspot: I assumed if you were offline for a month it was because you were either upset or in danger

ndhakdvsnnd: maybe i just have a day job to worry about

sunspot: In that case it would’ve been nice to receive some kind of warning so we wouldnt think you were hurt 

ndhakdvsnnd: i didnt have time

sunspot: You didn’t have time to type one sentence?

ndhakdvsnnd: okay im sorry

sunspot: Look I’m not trying to lecture you Im just saying we were concerned and I wanted to make sure you were alright.

ndhakdvsnnd: okay

sunspot: Everything’s really okay then? Nothing happened?

ndhakdvsnnd: i dont want to talk about it

sunspot: Alright.

sunspot: You know we care about you right?

ndhakdvsnnd: i didnt send a warning because i didnt know i was leaving until the last minute i didnt go by choice

ndhakdvsnnd: thanks for attacking me over it as soon as i got back though 

sunspot: Does it seem like I’m attacking you? 

ndhakdvsnnd: yes kind of

sunspot: I’m sorry then. I didn’t mean to.

ndhakdvsnnd: okay

sunspot: Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it?

ndhakdvsnnd: i am just sad okay i am already getting yelled at all the time  i dont need to get it from you too 

ndhakdvsnnd: sorry this is stupid ill shut up

sunspot: No it’s okay! If you’re upset you can tell me that’s what I was messaging you about in the first place I had the feeling something was wrong

ndhakdvsnnd: are you sure

sunspot: Yes positive

ndhakdvsnnd: i just dont like feeling like everyone is disappointed or mad at me all the time i dont know 

ndhakdvsnnd: it would be one thing if i deserved it but i dont know i have been really really trying lately and it doesnt work and it makes me feel bad

ndhakdvsnnd: but i kind of deserve to feel bad so i dont know 

ndhakdvsnnd: im tired

sunspot: Why do you think you deserve to feel bad?

ndhakdvsnnd: a lot of reasons 

sunspot: I don’t think you deserve it.

ndhakdvsnnd: you dont know me though

ndhakdvsnnd: you wouldnt like me if you knew me 

sunspot: Well what I do know about you now is that you are risking your life and sanity to provide us information to help people.

sunspot: Just based on that I don’t think you deserve to feel so bad about yourself.

sunspot: I think the people you’re around are probably really hard on you and its affecting the way you see yourself.

ndhakdvsnnd: im sorry

sunspot: Why are you saying that?

ndhakdvsnnd: i dont know

ndhakdvsnnd: is it okay if i go to bed now 

sunspot: Goodnight! We can talk later if you’re up for it?

ndhakdvsnnd: okay gn

[yagamisdiary]

hey girl let me just vent about how sexy you are ok. So the year is 2021 I'm in bed scrolling through Tiktok and keep on seeing girls crying over Eren fanfiction and I thought who are these dumb bitches crying about Eren fanfiction let me tell you I'm the eren yeager fanfiction library I know the ins and outs of every eren yeager fanfictions its in my blood yk anyways, I enjoyed them but I never cried over them and stuff at the TIME. so I'm like the girls never lie, so I got on my little reading app I don't know if you've heard of it, but it's called w-w-wattpad anyways type up parasite first thing to come up mind you! and I see it 20hrs+ and I thought HELL NO these 13-year-old girls r on some mad shit rn I'm not doing all that. So I sat on it for a few days and videos on my fyp kept on coming up and I was in lockdown so I didn't have anything better to do SO FUCK IT. I started reading I'm a hater bro I was trying too hard to be different anyways I get to the bonfire chapter and when y/n goes to Eren and gives him that snore OH SOMETHING HIT ME my feet were in the air giggling like a little kid let me tell you and I was addicted since that day, even dragging y/n feet down in the lake, THE STARGAZING AND THE DONT KISS ME HAUNTING MEEEEE,eren being a stoner and an emo boy is forever in my soul and sorry guys unpopular opinion but the disabled toilet scene was lowkey good like forgot about that goatee hehe…. but when she got SHOT LIKE TWIN I FELT THAT TOO, MY HEART WAS BEATING OUT OF MY CHEST, BREATHING WAS GETTING SHORTER like its real emotions let we tell you. Dont get me started on the way Eren was so caring afterward my man my man knows how to treat a girl right and then the Halloween chapter and which was the latest chapter at the time and this was the one everyone was crying about so I got my tissues knowing I won't be needing them so I'm reading 3 am mind you, boneing sesh, hot, in love, Eren outfit slays, when that door opened to yk I was ready to fight a bitch, like my blood was boiling it was sizzling and I thought my baby going to stick up for this fine ass NO LETs BREAK UP ITS NOT FUN ANYMORE EVERYONE KNOWS YOU JUST LIKE EVERY OTHER GIRL YOU CRY ALL THE TIME HAVE PANIC ATTACKS AND YOU RELY TO MUCH ON ME, the way I'm crying is real THAT SHIT hit so hard it's not even funny like these "dumb bitches" were right THIS IS A REAL BREAKUP like I can't even say how I was feeling cause it was so much, like sleeping that night wasn't an option. But then I managed to get some sleep and I woke up to the most sexy notification of the ages parasite update chapter called Eren's Halloween I WAS SHITTING BRICKS. Anyways what I'm trying to say is that this book has been such a big help to me over the years this is my escape and a place where I can find something different and I just wanted to tell you cause I have been holding this in for three years buddy like I'm in the shadows liking your stories following you on everything but has always been too scared to say anything so here I am saying something and over the last few weeks its been really hard on me, mentally and physically and ik parasite is construction you could say BUT BITCH TAKE YOUR TIME CAUSE, TIMELESS WORK TAKE TIME MWAH back to my point I have been thinking in my head about different scenarios and points in the book to make me feel better and its so weird but I start smiling like its not just the book but the community around it too. So I'm going to wrap this up cause my fingers really hard but please take care of yourself and I hope you r eating good tonight xoxo Your stalker from 2021

this is the funniest thing i’ve ever read & a canon experience i fear

[emmacreatures]

A SUDDEN FLIGHT

A fun inbetween story of Ter'ran and Lyle Wainfleet. This story is one before they bond or get any serious behavior to each other. But tension though👁👄👁 Enjoy!

"Alright, we're gonna need to go. Ka'am, you come with me. Ter'ran, Mansk and Wainfleet, you go east, search the place in case jake and his bat shit crazy wife leave any tracks" Quaritch said demanding, as everyone got ready to go.. Ter'ran was ready to get his direhorse, but all the sudden realized.. East was towards the waters. Lyle got ready as he grabbed his guns and nessesities, seeing Ter'ran be slow as heck. "Come on Ter'ran. We dont want to be the slowest group thanks to your ass" Lyle mocked him as he smirked, seeing Ter'ran actually somewhat struggle hiddenly. "Shut up Lyle, you're by far worse" he said as he didnt even have a good comeback on the man's sentences this time. It didnt take long before Lyle, even with his only two braincells realized something was off with him. "Whats the matter? You seem very held back" Lyle said as he actually could be caring, but it was a rare sight. He'd been 'baby-sitting' Ter'ran for he at first was one of their prisoners, but he seemed to become casual sooner than they expected.. The two so happened to match on a lot of levels.. They fought all the time, luring each other out, but the rest could swear they saw they became each other's weaknesses.. And therefor, Lyle cared a bit when he saw the man struggle which was a first today.

"why are you like that? You dont travel by ikran?" Lyle asked with a huge frown for Ter'ran almost hissed of annoyance, he felt vulnerable and hated it to death. "Wh?? What are you scared or something. Isnt this part of like a na'vi life?" Lyle said as he saw a glare from Ter'ran come up to him. "Feeling cocky are we Wainfleet?" before he sighed. "i'm called ter'ran for a reason. Family predicted it." "And you mean by that?" "You fucking Skxaung" Ter'ran said before crossing his arms. "Ter'ran pretty much means ground. i like the ground. I find my flow and comfort in any animal to ride on the damn ground. Ikran's never worked for me.." "What.. Are you afraid of heights? You cant be actually serious. I've only been a na'vi for a few months now-" "If you start bragging about yourself again I'll make sure your nose will shape into a different way" Ter'ran said as he felt threatened. It never came to it that he was needed to fly.. Not only that, but since ikran's never worked out for him, he didnt even have one. "LYLE. Hurry up, we have to go" Mansk said who barely ever said a word, making Lyle who wanted to mock Ter'ran until he couldnt breathe anymore, sigh as he rolled his eyes.

"Listen. It might not sit right with you, but thats bull that we can't use right now. it would be best to move fast by ikran" Lyle said as he noticed Ter'ran flatten his ears. "Just go." "Oh not so easy buttercup." The man said as he walked right up to Ter'ran. holding his own sides as he looked at the man, confident but almost dangerous. "you heard Quaritch. It was me, mansk AND YOU. You're coming with us." Lyle said as he grabbed the man's arm, pulling him outside as his ikran sat ready. Mansk was ready as well.. For they had to hurry. "Didnt that stupid brain of yours realize that in order for me to join you guys on this, I NEED an ikran. I cant catch up with the direhorse" Ter'ran said as he pulled himself loose, glaring. "You dont scare me. Try harder. And look. guess its your lucky day, you're coming with me" Lyle said as he finally got the hint to Ter'ran. "No fucking way. Forget it" Ter'ran said as he tried to stand his ground, but Lyle wasnt having it. "Too bad. I aint taking no for an answer and we got our orders. Might as well try to make yourself useful for once" he said mocking but pulling Ter'ran firmly along.. Eventually having managed to convince him to get on the ikran. Even the ikran itself at first hissed at him angrily.. Making Ter'ran just be so done with it. "Cant you even SEE he's disagreeing" Ter'ran said as Lyle had already gotten onto the ikran.. "you're such a little bitch, Common." Lyle said for Ter'ran swallowed but glared at the way he was called, which made him eventually try to seem powerful, getting on with help of Lyle who reached out to him to pull him on there.. "I hate you so much right now" Ter'ran said, as manly as he may seemed, the slight submissive energy finally showed with his fears.

"oh.. So normally you dont?" Lyle smirked before telling the Ikran to start flying as they almost already fell behind on schedule.. For Lyle noticed Ter'ran was absolutely uneasy.. "You'll hate me more because of this I'm sure, but for now.. Try and calm the hell down" Lyle said as he controlled the ikran perfectly, but noticed the scared shitless na'vi infront of him, holding onto the ikran for dear life. "You're almost making the ikran uneasy buttercup." He said with a mocking way, but decided to wrap his arm from behind around Ter'ran, giving him a steady hold.. Lyle almost felt the man shiver despite he didnt say anything.. Pulling him more to himself to show he really wouldnt let him fall or feel frightened.. Despite Ter'ran wouldnt like to admit it. "Just hold onto me" Lyle eventually said quite serious, feeling Ter'ran immediately just held onto the arm that was wrapped around his waist from behind, holding him strong. "You absolute asshole" Ter'ran said after a while, almost hearing the man smirk widely while laughing, for Lyle smirked more confidently indeed. The strong hands of Ter'ran holding his arm almost gave him a boost.. Some confidence boost. Something he couldnt place yet, for all the two usually did was be in each other's business, slam each other's faces in, and get daily bruises from just fighting each other all the time..

For once this was a somewhat gentle approach, maybe because Ter'ran was out of it today due his fear.. Which made Lyle feel a lot more stronger today.. Since he was ontop of this, the 'leader' for a bit.. The winning one of the day. It gave his dumb ego an even bigger boost.. Liking to play with it alot.. For messing with Ter'ran turned out to be a tradition he liked to keep up. But this sudden closure, almost seemed like it was normal for them. Making Lyle play with it a bit. "Not so big in words are we now blue monkey?" Lyle mocked for Ter'ran glared "If I could hit you right now I would" "I mean you technically can, but we dont really have much ground beneath us.." Lyle just kept on mocking, feeling the grip on Lyle's arm tightened.. For Ter'ran really hated the air. Ter'ran couldnt really focus on even mocking him back.. For he tried to stop looking down, for they were high up in the air. Lyle sensed the man's tense energy, just deciding to have a conversation with him after a bit, without too much mocking.

"You know, after this.. how about we get you your ikran. That way I wont have to always carry you along like a baby" Lyle said for Ter'ran glared over his shoulder. "Next time I'll dissapear into the damn woods and you will NOT be able to find me" Ter'ran said as he sounded angry, for Lyle just went in on it "Have you seen me? Of course I'll find you, and I'll get your ass back to the RDA. You wont be able to get rid of us so soon" Lyle said as Ter'ran grunted. "did you even listen to a word I said.." The man said, coming back on the ikran part, shaking his head. "Literally. why do you think I dont have one. Your two braincells dont seem to register. This shit isnt for me" Ter'ran said slightly mocking, just holding on lyle's arm for dear life. "You do realize you're talking to a man who knows how to handle a sniper." Lyle said rather braggy, but in a way that might make Ter'ran think about stuff. "By all means, I can trenqualize the animal if it would be too much for you".

"Since when do you even want to help?? You just dont want to share the ikran with me huh.. and besides that. That's full against eywa. Thats cheating" Ter'ran said as he looked over his shoulder, seeing Lyle frown at Ter'ran. "and that would bother you? You've been dodging rules the second I met you and this would stop you?" Lyle said challenging, seeing Ter'ran looked him angry in the face, but he noticed this doubt. "You're not getting the whole deal. Its not just getting the thing, I need to ride it, control it. I'm telling you this is just NOT it, stop goddamn bothering me about it" Ter'ran said for Lyle hummed. "You just have to tell the bitch what to do. It aint science. If I, a recent 'born' navi can do it, you can too" The man said almost kind, making Ter'ran make use of it. "so you're admitting you're an absolute idiot" Ter'ran smirked once, before he noticed Lyle moving the Ikran more firm. "dont make me turn loops with this thing" he said as he noticed Ter'ran kept his mouth shut. Lyle just watched the man's posture, seeing he still was nervous despite the reassurance of Lyle. It seemed to be a big fear. It was a surprise for lyle too. Ter'ran was like one of the manliest people he had met so far, and seemed to fit along the RDA group more them well.. So this was a surprise.

"You know what, Fine.. Sucks for you then, you'll just have to stick with me when we're gonna fly" the man said, holding Ter'ran better before having to turn to go more east.. Ter'ran swallowed as he felt nervous feeling the ikran turn so to the side, and yet he somehow felt more secure with the man holding him. It was an odd stupid feeling, since they always pestered each other.. and now, somehow Lyle was almost protecting him.

[nightmarist]

For the artist questions, 6, 21 and 30 if you dont mind

6. What’s your least favorite thing to draw?

Ironically what people tell me to draw.

It's my love-hate with commissions, where I can need the money but dread what people are going to pay me to draw. However, I do like requests, there's a semantic difference in my brain for a request bc usually requests are framed in ways that people want me to draw something they think would match my art or think I the artist would enjoy drawing vs commissions where people want something I just couldnt care less about but Have to do it.

Since I've gotten more established professionally IRL I get to be more choosy about what I take on as commission, so I might just endup doing a whole "I'll only do commissions if I actually like your idea" since I do want to be paid for my work and I do think people have really cool ideas I would love to pry out of their tangled brains and put to paper or canvas or whatever. But even then, If I do really love someone's idea, I mean. Fuck it. I'd love to do it. I love making things for people and giving them away. The fleeting aspects of art can be art too.

21. Do you like to challenge yourself?

Yes !!! I constantly do shitty little sketches and go to drawing tutorials, ask my art instructor and professor friends for tips, tricks, ideas etc. I do a lot of exercises and recently I've become much less afraid of creating backgrounds now that I have a better grasp how to make them. Similarly I'm trying to figure out painting more, which is both fun and challenging.

I don't want to do Just realism, I would love to experiment with other styles. Now that I have actual income, I can "waste" resources (paint, canvases, etc) practicing. Usually the issue is, if I make something, I can't buy back the things I used to make it, and therefore can't continue making. One of the big reasons I've been doing so much more art lately than the past decade.

30. What inspires you to not just make art, but to be a better artist?

How do you define it? Is it what's the most realistic? I can do realism. I have. Ive been doing it since I was a young teenager, I had galleries and awards and was paid hundreds to nearly a thousand dollars for pieces. My parents kept all the money. Now that I'm an adult, no one gives a shit that some thirty year old man can paint a realistic portrait of a celebrity. It only mattered when I was 13 and 14 using a program no one ever heard of (paint tool sai) or didnt think photoshop could be anything but a photo editor. Realism isnt fun, anyway, at least not anymore for me.

I do think that things like "the basics" - anatomy and realism, still life, color theory, perspective, all should be learned to learn how to make compelling art. But they dont have to be used in polished, aesthetically pleasing ways. Once you learn how and why "oh these colors clash and make people turn away from how jarring they are" you can use that. "These perspective lines are weird" can be just as compelling when you have the knowledge to fuck around with it.

I think the thing for me is, after having collaborated with so many other artists IRL and seeing their work, art is so much more than being "good" or "better" or "best" — it's expression. What you express, how you express it, those are each personal things.

Art isn't just painting. Or embroidery. Or convention. Its this lady in town who makes full body puppet costumes out of scrap blankets and broken ceramics. Is this old woman in the country side who makes masks out of paper and crayons. Its a local punk who learned to silk screen their own T shirts with weird shit.

I guess more or less being a "better" artist for me is coming to understand that there's no actual such thing. You can have your own personal goals, set them, and make them.

In addition, "every artwork is practice for the next"

It's a perpetual cultivated skill that, when you look back, there will always be something you could have done "better"

[svankmajerbaby]

✨️🎀🎈💞💝🕯🎙🤲💌

!! thank u so much for the ask. i love talking about writing......

✨ What's a fic you've posted you wish you could breathe life into again and have people talking about it? (or simply a fic you wish got more credit)

-hmm theres a point in which i have to tell myself not to worry about likes or comments bc what really matters is me getting the practise and exercising my writing muscles and having fun with it... But. i do wish i could get more ppl into my toy story fic. its got a whole bunch of wonderful comments and kudos and stuff, i just feel so proud of it and writing it came so easy and i poured so much of my love into it, i really really wish anyone who loves these characters would read it too.

🎀 give yourself a compliment about your own writing

-english is not my first language so grammar isnt often The Best, but i take a lot of care with using words and expressions as correctly as possible, and I try to always spell words right (i dont think ive ever confused loose and lose, for example, which ive seen confused a few times). some descriptions of spaces are particularly well done, at least to my own criteria, and the song choices are fun (or at least fun to write and picture in my head).

🎈 describe your style as a writer; is it fixed? does it change?

- honestly, ive no idea. i think i get verbose, and i write long dialogue scenes. i overuse the — to lead into another thought, because thats kind of like how my mind works. i try to be "cinematic" in my writing and always start a scene with a description of a place, its lighting and its sounds, like im used to when writing scripts. and i got the sense that usually the characters often ramble and go on long discussions about stuff that maybe normal people wouldnt just start out discussing so strongly. but honestly id much rather someone else outside my own perspective told me what my writing is like, i would trust them more than my own opinion.

💞 what's the most important part of a story for you? the plot, the characters, the worldbuilding, the technical stuff (grammar etc), the figurative language

-the characters!! everything is important, and stuff like grammar often jumps out first for me... but i need to enjoy how the characters are written, and feel like theyre real people with genuine motivations and interactions. i dont mind too much if theyre not super alike to canon, as long as they feel true to the core of their personality and values.

💝 what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

-i was surprised to even get comments on my barbie frankenstein one. i loved writing it and it came through so easily and comfortably, but even though i had used that moderately popular meme of reimagining barbie as a gothic protagonist as inspiration i didnt really think it would be anything but something i liked to picture existing. i was so happy to see people enjoyed it too.

🕯️(there are two questions with this candle emoji symbol? i chose the first one, idk why theres two) was there a fic that was really hard on you to write, or took you to a place you didn't think it would take you?

-the tiff fic :'^) ive always liked writing sorta dark stuff, ever since i was little, but this was on another level. sometimes i felt (and still do) feel a bit awkward bc i really do push myself to write stuff i feel a bit embarrassed or shocked by, but i do think that if i want to be a better writer it does me good to make an effort to depict stuff that makes me uncomfortable and seek to write it in a sense of finding a way to both make if effective and relatively tasteful (or at the very least in-character).

🎙️which one of your fics would you like someone to make a pod-fic of?

- i have never heard about pod-fic before, but i guess i can imagine what it is (wonder if its like an audiobook, or if it has sound effects and the like??). i would love to listen to an audiobook of the barbie frankenstein fic mostly bc i would love so so much to hear the dramatic literary dialogue ive written in kelly sheridans barbie voice. also now that i think about it i have no idea what the creature would even sound like... that would be an interesting challenge.

🤲 what do YOU get out of writing?

-practise writing in english, a sense of accomplishment (when i get to finish something!!) and every once in a while some strong validation in the form of ppl liking what i write... all of it is super valuable to me, especially practise and the push and drive to finish stuff to upload, but the validation in particular just really hits that dopamine in my brain i guess

💌 share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

-its from the glen and glenda fic im halfway planning! i got a few dialogues written and some scenes sketched out, but its still a long way to go. im very excited about it tho! ive grown to really love the versions of the twins ive made in my head. hopefully theyre faithful to their screen depictions while also adding a bit more depth and character building ive wanted to take them through.

[mooifyourecows]

moo i need advice. i’m gonna talk to my therapist n some other people ab it too but i’m taking all the help i can get.

there is a Situation at my work. i am a female presenting human at work and i have this coworker (we’ll call him A for simplicity’s sake) my age who was hired last month or the month before. he used to work at this coffee place in the same parking lot and spent his lunch breaks in my store sometimes so i knew him and we talked a bit before he was hired. i considered him an acquaintance bordering friend when he was hired. but some of my closer coworker friends told me last week that he said something like “i only applied here because i thought she was interested in me.”

i have been literally nothing but nice to him. i have never ever ever flirted with him or have done anything on my end other than just general customer service and coworker banter and conversation. i have had a serious long distance partner for over a year, best friends for 7 years before we even started dating. so when i heard he said that, after i clocked out and was waiting for my ride, i made it GLARINGLY obvious that i was taken in front of him (showed a pic of my partner to a coworker nearby him and did all my fun little gay jokes). it wasn’t directly at him but it was enough that he got the message. he knew i had a partner before this, but i just figured this would drive it home yk?

then after i left one of my coworkers texted me and said A was saying some MORE shit along the lines of “i dont care that she has a partner because they’re long distance and i want to take things slow anyway.” after i heard this i immediately went to my store manager to let her know and tell her that A makes me extremely uncomfortable and if it didn’t stop i was going to go to HR about it. none of this was said directly TO me, to my face, so that’s why i went in that direction. also this way there was a record of it and if my SM needed someone to vouch, she could ask the coworkers who he said this in front of. the night shift manager is now keeping him busy away from me when i work register whenever our schedules have an overlap which is good and the SM said she would talk to him and that if she heard (or heard about) anything else come out of his mouth like that, he’d be fired. i asked her to leave my name out of it, to not let him know that i said anything (ie, word it so it sounds like someone ELSE made the complaint because i don’t feel safe) and she agreed.

but last night he sent me a text saying that he wasn’t sure what he did wrong but he was told he did something to make me uncomfortable and apologized, explicitly telling me i didn’t need to respond to it because it was late and he had made me uncomfortable anyway (i blocked his number after that, i only had it for work related reasons in the first place but i realized i could use the store phone to call him if needed so it didn’t really matter).

now i have a couple options im juggling atm. one, show my SM the text and ask her what exactly she said to him to make him believe sending an “apology” text was okay. two, skip showing my SM and go directly to HR (which i really dont know how to do, id need help with that for sure). or three, talk to A directly (likely through text or in person with a witness) and see if i can get it figured out that way (only problem with this is that he got fired from his last job for yelling at THEIR store manager, so i’m a little spooked about what he would do if i confronted him at all about this).

again, im asking a bunch of people their opinions, especially my therapist about what to do because im totally fuckin clueless on the steps i need to take about anything. but u seem knowledgeable in dealing w assholery so it’s worth a shot to get your opinion too. idk. shit freaks me out and i would like to kick him very hard in the shins

Sounds like quite the predicament! First of all, I'm proud of you for standing up for yourself and taking precautions to ensure your safety. It sounds to me like you've made all the right choices so far, especially letting your managers know your feelings so that they can have it on record and also take steps to protect you.

I know its difficult understanding what is right in situations like this. Maybe your coworker doesn't have any bad intentions and just genuinely has a crush on you. We can't fault people for their feelings but we CAN establish our boundaries and recognize when actions overstep those boundaries.

The fact that he took your politeness for interest is not your responsibility. It's his and his alone. The fact that feminine presenting individuals have to literally put on a cold and distant facade to protect themselves from unwanted advances from men who can't tell the difference between friendliness and flirting is tiresome and unfair. And it's not your fault that he's decided to misinterpret your actions and words.

Again, MAYBE his intentions hold no malice but the things he's said and done make you uncomfortable and that's completely understandable. Specifically getting a job in order to pursue you based off his misconceptions is predatory behavior! Maintaining his intentions to pursue you after you made it clear you are not single and not interested is predatory behavior. Him not realizing that it is doesn't make it any less exactly that.

Good job reaching out to your bosses! Seeing as this is a workplace problem, it SHOULD be on their radar. It is up to them to protect you in these situations. I would advise against confronting him on your own because your safety is the most important thing and its not your responsibility to explain to him what hes done wrong. Even if he wouldn't try to cause you harm and this IS all a misunderstanding on his part, he needs to understand that his actions are inappropriate. No hand holding. Leniency leaves room for hope. He cannot think that it's all just a little "oopsies, better luck next time" type of situation rather than the literal workplace violation it is. If he thinks that this is a problem only because you dont like him back, he could possibly move on from you to try doing the same thing to someone new in the future.

He needs to understand that he CANNOT act this way with his coworkers. It's not just disrespectful and inappropriate, but it's literally against the rules, and to some degree, against the law. Sexual harassment comes in all shapes and sizes and the sooner he understands that, the better! Letting men get away with stuff like this breeds more and more audacity which results in more and more uncomfortable and unsafe women. It could even advance to literal assault.

My advice is to inform your managers about the text and see what they think about it. If you feel like they are too lenient with their response, then absolutely go to HR. in fact, it might be good to fill HR in on the situation anyway, just in case. I'm not super well versed in workplace rules but I think just letting them know what is happening now before it escalates could be beneficial. They might even take the time to reach out to A and educate him on the rules and explain to him how his actions are inappropriate. I understand if you're worried about him getting fired or getting angry at you, but I dont think they'd outright punish or fire him on this one offense unless he did something much more extreme.

If you're scared to contact HR on your own, you can ask your managers to do it for you. I'm sure they would be willing to do so. It'd be beneficial for them too, honestly, to inform HR of the situation before it progresses because them knowing and not taking the necessary steps to protect you could make them look bad.

Overall, don't worry about this guy's feelings. If he really intended no malice, then yeah it might be embarrassing for him, but your safety and the safety of potential future victims is more important than his male fragility! It's best for him to learn now when he still has time to correct his mistakes than later when he's already deemed his behavior to be normal and acceptable!

Keep your friends and coworkers updated so they can keep their eye on the situation and take necessary steps to protect you. Don't let A pressure you into speaking to him, especially without other people around. If he wants to apologize, he can do so with multiple witnesses, and then move on and do his work without pestering you again.

I hope that he learns from this experience and doesn't try it again with you or anybody else! He needs to pursue romance in acceptable environments, not at work.

Good luck and stay safe! 🖤 I'm hoping it all goes smoothly and you can put your concerns to rest soon 🌈

[pwblogarchive]

July 2004

July 5, 2004

“Its Such A Joke How Every Song I Ever Write Is”

we’re getting close. i think we might do one more video for TTTYG. the song is gonna be one thats gonna suprise you, because its our favorite one off the record. if it happens, the band is gonna write the video and act in it- cross your fingers and we’ll see what goes down.

has anybody noticed how cliche, selfserving and overdamatic this journal has become? me too.

peter wentz- president of the FOB drama club

love never wanted me but i took it anyway. and there aint a pill that can keep you from my mind- there aint a siren that can keep me from your window. didn’t you hear the word on the streets? i’m getting by on obsession, baby.

p.s. my hair is now black, im here for your heart.

July 7, 2004

“And I Dont Care If Im Just Like The Boys I Trash In All These Songs…”

heard a bunch of the new academy record- you are gonna be suprised. dont sleep. this thing is good and not just in a “my friends are in this band” kind of good, i’d like it even if i didn’t know those geeks. they are like my little brothers. sorry i cut out of the show fast tonight. im not feeling so great about some friends lately. i don’t get “it” but i get it.

if you have any crazy home footage (like the time you and your brother glued yourselves together or whatever) send it to us. we are gonna include a section for it on the release the bats dvd- send it and a release (a piece of paper saying you release the footage and your image to be used by clandestine industries) to: Release the bats DVD at 900 forest. wilmette, il 60091- we need it this month. expect it to drop this fall around the TBS tour.

peter

we joked about the kids who used to be just like us- sick inside of their own skin.

i dropped an “i love you” thankgod it got caught in the wind.

you shouldnt have come back here alone. i’m a shark, baby. and theres blood in the water.

July 8, 2004

“Clip My Wings, I Don’t Deserve The Sky”

I must confess how much I love touring here and seeing old friends. Please come say hi.

I also must confess my serious ashlee simpson crush.

Peterabbit

July 12, 2004

“I Would Forgive You But You Could Never Forgive Yourself”

sooo. this half of tour has been hot. hot and fun. there has been lots of drama in my life. i apologize for being out of it. so st. louis- i got hot. i got delirious. i made some weird decisions. i smashed a bass. said weird stuff. left the stage. threw up. asked bill from the academy to get me some FOB booty shorts and tell the crowd i quit fall out boy. then i yelled into a megaphone. got into skimpy shorts and ran around on stage playing.

Oh yeah all these ideas seemed really funny at the time, now not so funny.

i apologize for anyone who had to see my legs in shorts.

that was the hottest i have ever been in my entire life.

peter

texas is the reason.

July 14, 2004

“Which One Is It Gonna Be The Smile Or The Voice Cause You Can’t Have Both”

For some reason texas air feels right on my lungs. I can’t wait to hit the coast. The stars out here are playing jokes on me. These shows have felt pretty good too. Me and patrick wrote a new one today, it gonna make you dance.

July 15, 2004

its been awhile. i apologize. i can't say i haven't missed you. i need to write more. i think i start to lose it otherwise.

sometimes it all just feels so fucking on. if you don't get that, i'm sorry i cant explain it. 

seeing this country in the summer in a van leaves me breathless. get off the computer and go out and fall in love with someone or something.

you gotta know you have my heart.

- petey

July 15, 2004

“Its Like Chris Said”

New mexico was great for never having been there before. People were so welcoming. I got electrocuted. That was not so great. I’ve got to stop reading the internet, it bums me out a lot. Okay I’m through with (me) all the complaining. I feel like I am holding my breath all the time. A nervous stuttering wreck, and then you don’t like me anyway. I’ve got it figured out, none of it matters. Either: you love to hate me or you hate to love me. But for the record you are my favorites anyway.

Love peter Oh yeah. Hey j.m. Remember that boy I was always nervous about you hanging out with, the one I hated? When did I become him? I dunno, but I did. I’m sorry. For the record I hope you’re doing alright.

July 16, 2004

There’s a part of me that thinks that things might turn out alright. But there’s another part that hopes you didn’t leave your hotel key between pages of the bible iin the drawer.

- petey

July 16, 2004

“Nobody Puts Pete The Baby In The Corner”

Sometimes I just write when I am in a bad mood. And often what comes out is trite and depressing. I am sorry. As I sit here with my posture clearly indicating hours on a glowing screen filled with meaningless words, my middle finger calloused and crooked from writing for hours a day in a notebook that seems filled as soon as a new one it bought. With this keyboard I take AIM on nothing and don’t really care. My wrists feel like they’d slit themselves if I let them, they want out (so do I). Then I remind myself I am out with my bestfriends and having the time of my life. My hotel room was next to a palm tree,

I slept well and dream free.

That was me beng a baby. It happens. You have all always been so nice so don’t even sweat it. Just deal with me getting “emo” sometimes.

P

July 18, 2004

A lot of people have been asking for this. Here’s a bit from our new song- we don’t take hits, we write them….

Find myself on the street out in front of your house so you can kiss safe thoughts good bye. I’m coming up to break your heart. You’re sleeping with the light on like you’re dying to be found out.

I need to take a break from the internet for awhile. I think you’re getting to me love.

- petey

July 18, 2004

“This Place Is A Prison And These People Aren’t Your Friends”

I heard somebody once say “if you love something set it free”

But we’re doomed to crash with these clipped wings

July 25, 2004

“I Aint Dropping No Sympathy… On You Cause Youre Living Lives Way Too Complete For Me…”

its only always been about dropping tears and names. its just a song. so forget all the questions. the stories getting old - but we’ll always be the homewreckers with the hearts of gold.

dont believe in someone who never believed in anything.

July 25, 2004

“No Time For Love, Dr. Jones, We Got Trouble”

I’m gonna miss california. This trip to the west coast was what I needed.

Peter

July 27, 2004

“Status Report”

Lots going on. We’re gonna miss the west coast…. Also. Were gonna have some new merch for warped tour: a shirt that has 8 of our early shirts on it for the collectors, a fob drama club shirt, scene point pins and more. So come by and check it out. Secondly, we aren’t/didn’t play warped in your town because they didn’t ask us to not because we didn’t want to so don’t believe the hype.

Also, our friends in gym class heroes will be playing the bnd tour with us on august 1 in davenport, iowa and then I am setting up a show again for them in chicago on august 3, so come check them out. They are the next big thing, better than atmosphere.

Lastly, I guess some people have told the guys in new found glory we were shittalking them in our dvd. That is the farthest thing from the truth. I knew chad when he was in shai hulud and have always looked up to nfg. That is a band that did it right and I have more respect for than any other band in our genre. We goofed around on a video three years ago to try and trick some girl. That’s it. No drama. So if you are going to warped before we get on it, stop by nfg and tell them fall out boy loves them for us.

There’s no other band out there that did it like them.

Didn’t we tell you the fob drama club was in full effect.

Pete

July 30, 2004

after awhile when you bounce back and forth between different hearts nothing gets old. you never really have to mean anything to anyone. i have intimacy problems with the world. her eyes are blackened around the edges so much that she looks like a racoon. they look like permenant black eyes- the consumate victim. everybody loves the victim. he can’t put his finger on what it reminds him of but the closest he can come are old zombie movies. she’s made-up to look half dead- which still beats most of them who are just half-alive anyway. her hair looked like rows of shark teeth dyed over dye jobs like she was running away from her natural color. noone wants to be what they are. she looks independent in a very vulnerable way. the safest kind of dangerous. we drove around the city so she could alternate between cigarettes and coffee. we talk about the kids we hate just so we have something to agree about. they used to be just like us. we’re sitting on the edge of her bed. every single inch on your body is filled with millions of nerves. somewhere inside your brain neurons have fired to synapses and put them on alert. when your hands brush hers it feels electric. every movement has a meaning, either yes or no. its getting later and later. the conversation and the possibilities are running out. last call. this is a war. everytime she moves her hand to her hair she is sending you signals. stay or leave. why can’t you figure them out. don’t strike first. wait until you are tired enough to make a move. lean in to kiss her bringing an awkward break in conversation. as you pull back she keeps talking about writers and bands she thinks will make her look cooler. but your fooled if only because you are worried she has found you out. push your tongue into her mouth too keep the right words from spilling out. her sheets smell like stale cigarettes smoked by boys who were me on nights before. she has a body that is built for sex. the kind a kid like me wouldn’t know what to do with if we had half the chance. imagine the chemistry of swallowed DNA. she has a scar that runs down her back right along the spine, like somebody tried to steal it. i joked her like this: “someone must have ignored the blue prints, look at all the structural damage”. but i stuttered and trailed off. the smoke curled off of her lips. for a second i was dying to be it. dying to be as clever and kissable as her. there she was sitting in front of me, knee pulled up to to her chin. smoking a cigarrette thinking of something or someone else. and thats how she will be stuck in my mind forever. two explorers in the dark, mapless and hopeless. alone together. its funny how easy it is to sleep with someone, but how hard it is to sleep next to someone. it’s too intimate. it makes my heartbeat race and pound inside my head. it is deafening. i slide my arm from behind her head and slip out the door. the pavement on the sidewalk is watching me go over every moment in my head. it’s watching me remember you. mistake by mistake. frame by frame. we’re not just taking trips down memory lane, we are broken down on it.

- petey

July 30, 2004

“Gbet Down With A Sickness”

i am sick. colorado was insane. sorry the show sold out so quickly, we had no idea. somebody bring me some fireworks to the iowa shows so i can shoot them at people and feel better. this is a part of this other book i have been working on: www.fueledbyramen.com/journal its a bit different than the boy with the thorn in his side.

you have no idea.

peter