#have we ever gotten Yujing's last name? lmao

[trashlie]

kousuke.exe not only stopped working but was unable to process the input and was glitching and malfunctioning the entire night lmaooo sigh. i want to remain hopeful that this night will spark at least some kind of change in him despite yui doing yui things… but we'll see.

speaking of yu jing, do you think rand has assured her some kind of protection from yui once the article comes out? yu jing must be aware of how risky all this is. is she prepared for when yui seeks her revenge? idk maybe i'm overthinking this because i'm from a country where journalists get killed all the time, but i still wonder what makes yu jing so brave. what is, to her, worth making an enemy of yui? is it really just righteousness? i'm lowkey really scared for her tbh but ahh i can't wait til we get to the article.

aahhh i'm glad the romance is giving you everything you want!!! it may not be my personal focus but i do enjoy the romance in ily a lot. slowly learning about all the ways shinae and nol are delicately interwoven has been a delight. it adds so much to the story and i can see their romance blooming into something very beautiful! and please, i'm looking forward to you talking about them in more detail when/if you have the time <3

…..actually, thinking about it, maybe "devotion" wasn't the word i was looking for 😅 sorry, i'm not a native speaker so i wasn't aware the religious connotations were so strong. but i really like your interpretation, and it was very kind of you to not dismiss it! i guess i was looking for something stronger and more emotional than "loyalty". because to me, shinae's actions read not only as "you were a good friend to me so i'll be a good friend to you", but also as "you mean a lot to me and i don't want to lose you". idk if there is even a word that captures this?

and not to get too analytical but i find it interesting to compare nol to minhyuk in that aspect. maybe you will disagree but imo shinae's actions aren't necessarily romantic. i believe she'd be just as affected and do the same things if it was minhyuk, who is similarly meaningful to her. except with nol, there is a different layer to it. there is the soulmateism she isn't aware of (yet), but she IS aware of her heart thumping and not being able to hold his gaze, there's also the change in his behavior, and her attraction to rand which she still has to unpack (it's not just for comedic effect it's obvious she's projecting lol) and i cannot wait for her to do the math and realize what's happening lmao it will likely take her some time but that's fine. she'll get there 👍 and yes yes yes after everything these two (and kousuke too) have been through all i want is a happy ending whatever that may look like 🥺 and therapy for all of them. maybe they can get a group discount /j

-lil anon 😼

That is a REALLY good point about Yujing. It's partly why I do believe this piece she's working on started with her friend at the root - it HAS to be worth risking her career and potentially life. Yujing surely knows the risks she's taking. I remember at the beginning of 151 she tells her friend that what she's working on might take several years, but that it's something her friend would be very interested in. If Manli is the friend Yujing has that was sa'd, then it would give her a reason to chase the story, I think. Once she finds out Nol pled guilty, though, she calls her mysterious contact and the story that once was seemed like it would take years suddenly has only the amount of time as Nol's sentencing.

Isn't that interesting? I still am not entirely sure what to make of it. Clearly everyone expected Nol to plead not guilty, for the trial proceedings to take place, for Shinae to give her testimony. Also something that stands out to me - Meg was told her testimony wasn't needed, that it wouldn't matter if she testified anyway because it'd get thrown out and before Nol could get much more out of her, Yui appeared. Not so subtle, right?

That's a small tangent lol but the point is: yes, I think that this is an important story to Yujing, not just for her journalistic integrity, but for something more personal. Vindication for a friend? For multiple friends? Because while I don't know if Yujing is aware of the full extent of how Yui has raised Kousuke, I think she knows enough to sense otherwise. She was disappointed to find that Kousuke hadn't changed, much like Nol is disappointed he hasn't changed - in a way, they've been rooting for him to come to the conclusion we have, right? They've been waiting for him to really comprehend the full scope of his life the who his mother is.

Another interesting thing is that Yui absolutely tries to play her tricks with Yujing, to put on that maternal mask, but Yujing doesn't even bother entertaining her. Also, that day that she was interviewing Nol, Yujing wrapped up with Yui's entrance. She definitely has an inkling that Yui's presence would compromise Nol's responses and make him uncomfortable, and she could probably deduce that was exactly what Yui was hoping for, to meddle more than she already had.

And that comes to another point about Yui. She notes that what she's doing with Nol is below her paygrade and she's doing it as a favor to Rand, but I have to wonder if it wasn't rather self-serving. Nol's drug-related charges link right back to Yui, and we have enough to deduce that this isn't the first time Yui has provided such drugs. If you haven't read this post yet, please do! It poses an interesting link between Kousuke's college incident and Yui providing drugs.

All this to say: I think the story must be very important to Yujing for her to tackle it, knowing who Yui Hirahara is and what she's capable of. But it also leaves us wondering what kind of protection can Rand even provide? He couldn't protect Nol. He couldn't protect Kousuke, though perhaps he was just too late. He can't even really do much to protect himself. And the way the judge managing Nol's case just so happened to retire? We know she pulled some kind of strings, intimidated someone, something. She has so much power and we don't even know the extent of it all. So. What kind of protection can Rand even afford her?

But yes, I do worry about the outcome of this story, even though I also look forward to it. It feels like it will end up being a bombshell in a lot of ways. I also wonder about how the setting of ILY plays into this. In the past, quimchee has referred to it as the United States of Korea - not quite Korea, definitely not America, but as the story has unfolded and characters have gone to and from America, England, Ireland, Japan, does that mean we definitively are set in Korea - and if yes are we following Korean laws? Libel and slander in Korea are a big deal - you could sue someone for running a story defaming you, even if they reported the truth! And again, with the contacts Yui seems to have, I have to wonder what her reach is.

I guess that's what makes Yujing seem like such a cool and formidable character. I want to know what she knows lol i want to know what her angle is. Also while I'm talking about her, here's something interesting I just noticed. Yujing spoke of Kousuke and Nol with familiarity when she interrupted their fancy meal. She said that it was a surprise to see them getting along enough to eat because the atmosphere would be hostile whenever they were in the same room together. There's also that history between her and Nol and her dog Senator. It raises some questions - when has Yujing been around them together? Especially because of the way Yui played dumb about her; it could be an act altogether, asking if they went to university together full well knowing it's so.

Also one other thing while I'm on this subject lol. The morning that Yujing saw on the news Nol pleaded guilty, she was going through a news story about an altercation between Nol and Kousuke. Without knowing the angle of her story, I wasn't sure what this had to do with what she's working on - sure the framing of Nol as a bad person plays into it, but also - during his interview with Yujing, before it got cut off, he says to her "It's not the first time the truth has been twisted in the media to fit a narrative". Is he speaking about that article, the one that frames him as the aggressor? Is that the one Kousuke has that fabricated memory of? Ahhhhhhh the more I think about what Yujing is working on the more desperate I become to read it!

and please, i'm looking forward to you talking about them in more detail when/if you have the time <3

This will definitely be coming hopefully soon! It's just something that's been on my mind as I reread lol. Like you said, it's very delicately woven! For me, there's something about watching two characters really come to matter to each other; it's not something I feel like I'm good at writing myself, but it's something that just really gets to me. I'm definitely ILY for the story and learning about their pasts, and seeing what will come of everyone, but the possibility of romance is just the icing on the cake, tbh! I really enjoy scenes where we get to see Shinae be honest, and we tend to get those when Nol is involved lol. (But also while looking at some earlier chapters I got weirdly emotional re-reading Yujing and Shinae's first meeting at the mall, when she helped pick out clothes that flatter her and Shinae asked if it was weird or wrong to favor comfort over style and Yujing reassured her it's not. idk it was a nice little moment, Shinae deserves all the reassurance!)

But I definitely get what you mean! I think devotion DOES work - frankly I'm not a particularly religious person I think of devotion as lol one of those foundations for a lasting marriage/partnership lmao. And I don't think it necessarily needs to be seen as a romantic thing, either! I just enjoy the religious imagery of it because it makes it feel somehow... idk, transcendent? Since right, it's a stronger word that loyalty is! And I do agree that her devotion, her dedication, her insistence on being there itself is not inherently romantic, which is what I love about it!

Idk how to explain this so please bare with me lol. It's like... to me romance isn't a raging forest fire, because eventually that kind of fire will just. Burn up and one day all that will be left is ash. It burns hot and strong and it's passionate, until there's nothing left. But a steady burning flame? Something that isn't so extreme, isn't so magnificent? But it's steady and constant, it's reassuring. You can trust it to continue. Sure a candle will eventually burn itself out but it's not like that wildfire that just burns and consumes until there's nothing left.

So when it comes to romance and things that seem otherwise mundane, I love it SO MUCH. Because I think it really plays into that narrative of how do you even define platonic vs romantic love? Shinae could very well have the most platonic feelings about Nol and still want to sit by his bed and keep watch over him, to make sure he's okay, to make sure he doesn't go out of her sight again. She absolutely would do the same thing for Minhyuk, someone we know is one of the most important people to her outside of her family. She did it as much as she could for her father when he was in that same position, too.

there is the soulmateism she isn't aware of (yet), but she IS aware of her heart thumping and not being able to hold his gaze, there's also the change in his behavior, and her attraction to rand which she still has to unpack (it's not just for comedic effect it's obvious she's projecting lol) and i cannot wait for her to do the math and realize what's happening lmao

THE BIG DUMB SMILE THAT GREW ON MY FACE WHILE READING IT because that's it THAT'S EXACTLY IT lol that's why it just GETS to me! Because she WOULD do this for any other person she loves, anyone else who is important to her, but this isn't any other person, it's him, and it's the way she can't hold his gaze, it's their tendency to lean towards each other (metaphorically or literally), it's the way he's let his defenses down a little more than she's used to, it's the way he's acting on something she once upon a time thought he was and told him not to but now she's not so concerned about crossing that line. In fact, that's BEEN going on! She went from telling him not to be too familiar with her lest he make his girlfriend mad at him waaaaaaay back before the formal to LMAO holding his dumb hands because it brings her comfort so she assumes it will do the same for him. It's all those little things!!!!!!!!

I, too, am waiting for her to have that realization that this version of Nol, this side of him he's shown her, that intensity, is SO much like Rand LMAO. I fully agree - that was not simply for comedic affect LMAO that was a little seed planted (although, hands down, the conversation Nol and Kousuke have following that is one of my FAVORITE scenes. There's something about the way Nol is just. Talking to Kousuke like maybe they don't hate each other and maybe they aren't at each others' throats all the time, casually noting that sure he finds Dieter's mom hot but is he going to SAY so and Kousuke just like PLEASE SHUT UP THIS IS SO UNCOMFORTABLE such a FUNNY scene lmao).

BUT ANYWAY YEAH IT'S EXACTLY THAT!!!!!!! I love love that isn't grand and overstated. Like, that's fine and I definitely can enjoy a really grand gesture, they're fun to read! But I love the kind of love that blooms from a seed that was planted long ago and maybe you didn't even realize you were nurturing it but eventually it grows and will bloom and that bud has grown and it may not have completely unfurled itself but. In time!!! Soon!!!!! It's the "calling insistently to check up on you and worrying even when i'm told you're okay because i want to hear it for myself". It's the "defending you even when you aren't around to see it because it's not an act i put on you are special and i don't like it when people mistreat you." It's the way!!! Her acts of care!!!! Linger even after she's gone!!!!! It's the way he always seems to reel from whatever mark she's left - her hands bunching up his coat, the earbud she returns to him, the stupid chicken nugget hand holding. AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH all these little moments that could just as easily remain platonic, except they're stirring something up!!!!!

That they are each people who aren't good at receiving care from others but end up doing exactly that for each other! And how they receive that concern and care! Nol always seems SO affected by the times she pays attention to him, when she notices things. The medicine she bought him!!!!!!! Because he is a person who deserves to be taken care of!!!! When no one else but Nana does that. ;A; Like alfkjakfjkjaf lmao see I'm accidentally going on the tangent already but that's! Exactly what I love about them. That, as you put it, they are so delicately woven, it's been happening all along but NOW we can see that tapestry they've been weaving. We can see exactly how they've affected each other in a way that's led to these flirty little fingers dancing, to this additional layer atop something that could be otherwise so platonic. It could be Minhyuk and she'd still be asleep at the side of his bed, but it's not, it's Nol, and that makes all the difference.

;A;!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GROUP DISCOUNT THERAPY FOR ALL!!!!!!!!! lmao I really do look forward to the end even though I HATE things ending and I tend to hold off finishing them as long as I can lmao because I get sad but ILY is special because I DO hope as many characters can get the happy endings they deserve, can find the comforting peace they need. I think everyone will always carry some kind of baggage, but bagage isn't as heavy if you can share it with someone, if someone can lighten the load. I mean that very platonically, too - I just want to see these characters find some kind of peace and have someone who understands, who gives them that space.

But I definitely want them all to get therapy LMAO PLS