#have seen the film in person. Mixed reviews from some when compared to Alive. but it the vibe seems to be like a 8/10

[flags-planes-and-fire]

(Video Credit Here)

Dr. Roberto Canessa talking to Tom Holland regarding the new Netflix film - Society of the Snow.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis: Suicide Squad Team A

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS! Seriously, as soon as you click that read more, you’re gonna be smacked with SPOILERS! Don’t say I didn’t give you ample warning this time!)

The world’s in danger yet again, and Amanda Waller is in need of some expendable forces to take on some dirty jobs in the name of preserving peace. Last time she did this, it seems like she hired the wrong people. Nice guy Will Smith Deadshot? Bland, boring Killer Croc? El Diablo, who became attached to a bunch of reprobates after spending a couple hours with them? The only one who was useful in that squad was Katana. She had their backs, could cut all of them in half with one sword stroke just like mowing the lawn, and her sword traps the souls of its victims. Unfortunately, she was decidedly not expendable, so what is a girlboss like Waller to do?

Easy: Assemble a brand new squad of criminals to do the dirty work. Harley and Boomerang are the only ones she brought back, because let’s be real, they’re the only ones we give a damn about. Filling out the rest of the squad are the stoic, craggy crackshot Savant; the handsome, German spear-thrower Javelin; the alien warrior Mongal; the frothing, psychotic animal Weasel; the confident and all-powerful TDK; and Blackguard, who is literally just a guy. Together, this team gets deployed to Corto Maltese to do what no one else can do, and with skills like theirs, they are absolutely unstoppable!

They all fucking die before the opening credits.

Motivation/Goals: Considering the goal of the squad is to shave time off their prison sentences by going on the mission, it’s ostensibly the reason every single one of these goons accepted the job. Savant and Weasel are pretty well established in this regard; we get to focus on Savant for much of the opening, so we can get a sense of him, and Weasel is stated to have murdered no less than 27 children. So, yeah, they need to do this mission.

The rest, though? Who knows! Why are Mongal, Javelin, and TDK in prison? How did they even get an alien like Mongal? What did they do to land in the position they’d need to go on a suicide mission? Why doesn’t this movie have flashy, intrusive cards explaining everything to us in a throwaway gag in a montage?!

Blackguard, at least, has some other motivation. He sold out the entire squad to the military of Corto Maltese, which is why they’re ambushed. Now, there’s actually some ambiguity here: Did he do this of his own volition, and was this a complete surprise, or is it, as it is heavily implied, all part of Waller’s plan and she let this happen as a diversion for the other team to get in unnoticed?

Honestly, though, it doesn’t matter what their goals are. They’re all dead within five minutes of the movie starting, with one exception.

Performance: So, the reason these guys are even worth talking about is because, despite their minuscule screentime, all of their actors manage to cram in enough humor and characterization that they’re all pretty fun and likable. Michael Rooker is as stony and stoic as ever as Savant (until he hilariously isn’t), Flula Borg’s Javelin is really sweet and charming in his interactions with Harley, and Pete Davidson’s Blackguard is just amazingly douchey and pathetic. Special mention goes to Nathan Fillion’s TDK, who has an utterly endearing and unwavering faith in his astoundingly crappy ability to… detach his arms. It’s honestly kind of beautiful. Then there’s Weasel as portrayed by Sean Gunn, who is just a hilarious crackhead of an animal man.

Final Fate: Literally every single one of them die horribly thanks to Blackguard’s betrayal. He’s the first to go, because as soon as he walks out saying “Hey guys, it’s me, the one who contacted you!” he literally has his face blasted clean off. The rest go soon after. Mongal, in one of the most astounding moments of idiocy I’ve ever seen, leaps on a helicopter despite Rick Flag telling her specifically not to. Her weight and strength send it careening out of control, which leads to it shredding Captain Boomerang to bits before exploding, burning her alive as she painfully screams and writhes in agony. TDK gets his arms shot into Swiss cheese, leading to him bleeding out since even detached they still are part of him. Javelin is also shot, but gets a dying moment with Harley where he passes her Checkov’s Javelin. Finally, after witnessing all of this carnage, Savant completely loses his shit and tries to swim away, leading to Waller blowing his head up.

You may be wondering what happened to Weasel. He appears to drown as soon as the Squad deploys, because despite being actually smart in this movie, Waller forgot to make sure everyone on the Squad could swim. Thankfully, this lovable child-murdering crackhead rodent was just sleeping, and wakes up in the first credit scene.

Best Scene: Obviously, it’s their one and only scene. It’s a magnificent slaughter that puts the X-Force scene from Deadpool 2 to shame.

Final Thoughts & Score: I’ve gotta hand it to James Gunn. Even though these losers are only onscreen for a few minutes, they all get to cram a lot of charm and personality into that time, to the point it’s actually kind of sad seeing them all die. It’s a beautiful mix of comedy and tragedy. Since their screentime is so limited, though, I’m mostly going to be grading them on style, performance, and so on rather than on villainy like normal. They are all bad guys, as they don’t really get a chance to redeem themselves like the other Squad, so I’m still counting them as villains, which means they could potentially score above an 8 (which is the highest score I’m willing to give heel-face turn villains, because they end up being better as characters in general than as villains).

I’m also not going to talk about Boomerang (I’ll talk about him when I review the original Squad) or Harley (because she not only lives, but deserves her own solo Psycho Analysis). Now here we go, from best to worst:

TDK

If you thought anyone but TDK would get top marks, you’re sadly mistaken. Seeing Nathan Fillion proudly wield the insanely lame power to detach his arms to lightly tap soldiers on the head and gently grab their guns is a sight I never knew I needed to see until this movie. The fact he just seems so darn proud about this power that he doesn’t even bother to use in any way that would be remotely useful is honestly really endearing. Frankly, the sheer fact they adapted Arms-Fall-Off Boy in any way is enough for me to give him a 10/10.

Weasel

Weasel is just disgustingly delightful. He’s just a horrible, nasty, ugly little bastard… But he’s kind of adorable? He clearly has no idea where he is at any given time and is just so goddamn freaky that I can’t help but love him. The fact that, despite being a character who in the comics is noteworthy only for dying on his first mission with the Squad, he manages to survive the entire movie is pretty impressive. Hopefully he comes back in the future, but either way he gets an 8/10 from me.

Javelin

Honestly, aside from Boomerang, his death stung the most. He’s just so cute and charming, and he doesn’t even get to fling his javelin at anyone! Thankfully, he passes it on to Harley, and boy does she ever get to use it! He’s so cute, I have to give him an 8/10. I just wish we got more of him.

Savant

Savant is just an absolutely hilarious bait-and-switch. We follow him through the prologue, with everything seeming to point to him as our main character and the Squad leader. He’s stoic, he’s cranky, and he has impeccable aim… and then we get to the beach and he just freaks the hell out and starts screaming and crying and running away like a little bitch. Seeing Michael Rooker act like he’s shitting his pants after playing a badass like Yondu is just the sort of hilarious subversiveness that James Gunn loves to do when you let him loose. The fact that he looks like, to paraphrase the TVTropes YMMV page for the movie, a “cyberpunk Tommy Wiseau” is the icing on this 7/10 cake.

Blackguard

I was prepared to hate this guy just based on how lame Pete Davidson’s costume was, and you know what? I do hate him. But I love to hate him. He’s just an utterly pathetic scoundrel and a coward, true to his name. The fact he is the first to die, as just about everyone predicted, and is killed absolutely gruesomely makes any annoyance he could provide moot, and his freeakout over being seated next to Weasel on the plane is actually kind of funny. I was originally going to give him a 6, but you know what? He can have a low 7/10. He’s like the only member of this particular Squad to actually do anything evil, so I gotta give him props for that.

Mongal

Let me make this perfectly clear: I do not blame James Gunn or actress Mayling Ng. I’m not actually mad at either of them for what they chose to do, because it is ultimately hilarious and sad. It suited the narrative of the film, and I’m not actually, genuinely mad.

With all that out of the way, Mongal is one hell of a stupid cunt. It is one thing to cause your own death with your stupidity, it is something else entirely to cause the death of a beloved character with your poorly planned attack. The fact she didn’t take into account how her weight and strength would effect an airborne helicopter makes one wonder if she is really supposed to be based on a character who can take on Superman and live to tell about it.

Let’s compare her to two similar characters to really show how bad she is. Like Blackguard, she is directly responsible for a death on the beach, Blackguard being responsible for everyone by selling them out and leading them into an ambush (and yes, I’m including him as well), and Mongal killing Boomerang with the chopper. The difference is, Blackguard’s betrayal was deliberate, he meant to sell the team out, he was actively doing something evil there, while Mongal killed Boomerang out of sheer idiocy.

Now, let’s compare her to Zeitgeist from the similar bloody massacre that occurred during X-Force’s deployment in Deadpool 2. Like Mongal, he accidentally kills a teammate. The difference is, in the case of Zeitgeist, he only accidentally melted Peter, it was a freak accident, and ultimately it does get undone by the end. Meanwhile, Mongal made a conscious, stupid decision and ended up killing her squadmate with her own idiocy. She sucks, hardcore. I don’t do this lightly, but I’m giving her a 1/10. Villains just don’t get much stupider than her.

I will giver her this, though: the makeup work on her is good. She’s lowkey kinda hot if I’m being honest. But being hot and having good makeup does not a good villain make.

[yesterdanereviews]

Alice's Birthday (2009)

Film review #502

Director: Sergey Seryogin

SYNOPSIS: Alice Selezneva has just failed a history exam at school, but things are looking up, as a friend of her Father's Gromozeka, has arranged a trip for her birthday to the planet of Koleida with a research expedition. The planet once had a flourishing civilisation, but a space virus wiped it out centuries ago. Alice decides to use the expedition's time travel machine to go back in time (along with Professor Rrr, another member of the expedition) to save the planet's population, not knowing the virus is still alive in the present and approaching the camp of the expedition...

THOUGHTS/ANALYSIS: Alice's Birthday is a 2009 animated sci-fi film, which is a re-imagining of the popular 1987 film Lilac Ball and the original novel. The film starts out introducing Alice, an energetic and mischievous girl who fails a history exam after causing chaos in the classroom. She meets up with her Father's friend Gromozeka, who has a surprise for her upcoming birthday: to join a research expedition to the planet Koleida, where a flourishing civilisation was wiped out by a space virus centuries ago. The film, as mentioned is a re-imagining of the film Lilac Ball and it's original novel, part of a series of adventures starring the character of Alice. The series was quite popular in the Soviet Union, and so this film is riding a little on that nostalgia bandwagon. However, it certainly stands as a film in it's own right too, as the story deviates from the original film a fair amount, and being an animated film, has a lot more freedom to bring the futuristic world to life. The story itself flows pretty well, being split into a fairly typical three-act structure that has a good amount of variety, humour, action, and even some scary dark moments. The essentials of the story are things that you have probably seen before involving time travel and trying to change to change the course of the future in time, but it is still entertaining enough to watch.

Alice is a very typical lead for these types of films: adventurous, mischievous, and a typical kid which it's young audience can identify with. Her character has a wide range of emotions and relationships with other characters, so she feels like a well-rounded individual with enough spirit and energy to be her own person. One notable difference in the rest of the characters form Lilac Ball is that the animated medium gives a lot more freedom to give the aliens a more alien design; in Lilac Ball, the characters which were aliens in the novels were re-imagined as mostly human; in the animated Alice's Birthday, the aliens aboard the research expedition are all shapes and sizes, and though we don't hear from many of them, their unique appearances make the film colourful and interesting. There is some weird comments near the beginning of the film, which seem to suggest there's some discrimination against aliens on Earth, but it's not really brought up again or addressed, so that's a bit odd. The minor characters, like Professor Rrr and Gromozeka have a very specific role, and you know what to expect when they're on screen, which is comforting. On a more novel note, the commander of the expedition is voiced by Natalya Murashkevich, who played Alice in Lilac Ball and the 1984 mini series Guest from the Future, which is a nice nod to those productions, and reinforcing the idea that there is a bit of reliance on nostalgia for this film, even though the target audience is obviously a generation that will not have seen those originals.

The animation is fairly fluid, and the characters and world are colourful and animated enough so that it feels like things never really stand still. This is good in the action scenes, but it becomes a bit more choppy when the characters are moving more slowly. I'm not sure how this compares to other contemporary Russian animation, but it feels like a mix between modern productions, while also having a bit of that Soviet-era aesthetic within it too. Again, maybe that's part of the nostalgia effect the film is riding on. There's some musical numbers which are a bit generic, but again, perfectly serviceable for a children's film. Overall, Alice's Birthday creates a colourful and energetic world for it's titular character to be her adventurous self: the designs of the aliens and the futuristic setting are fun, varied and interesting. The story is a little formulaic being a very typical time travel scenario, but it is still made entertaining by having interesting, individual characters, and expressing a variety of emotions throughout the different scenes. A decent children's film, which also banks on some nostalgia for a beloved character for adults too, although they probably won't find too much appeal in the content of the film.

[wanderchyld]

PBIO/IOTNBO theories

This is long so bear with me.

FYI, I watch the show on Netflix and while English is my first language, I know Chinese and Korean, so sometimes I ignore Netflix’s subs or (they tend to miss some nuances, not just for IOTNBO, heh) or change to Chinese subs for fun. If I quote anything, it might be a mix of Netflix’s subs and my interpretation.

There were 2 women in the Go household.

Moonyoung’s house had a group of dolls consisting 1 male doll (Go Daehwan), 2 female dolls (Do Heejae and ???) and 1 smaller female doll (Moonyoung).

There were 2 women that allegedly died: 1 in the basement, 1 in the lake.

I know there’s a "Moonyoung has a stepmom" theory going around, and a lot of fairytales have stepmoms. But I think there is a possibility that the other woman is Do Heejae’s sister. Why?

Welcome to Oz

Every episode’s theme is tied to a certain story. However, there’s one story present in the show almost every episode, yet it was never explicitly mentioned; and that is The Wizard of Oz.

The current mystery around Do Heejae, Moonyoung’s mother, must be related to her novel, which is titled Witch of the West’s Murder. There is no way the novel was named after The Wizard of Oz’s Wicked Witch of the West for no reason at all, so this story has to be the the drama’s overarching theme. (I can also confirm that it’s the basis of the books’ content after reading the few pages they flipped on camera.)

Plus, the disgusting book reviewer from ep 2 mentioned that you can tell a lot about an author from their writing. So what does Witch of the West’s Murder tell us about the mysterious Do Heejae?

This story has multiple variations but I refer mostly to the 1939 film (the most popular adaptation) and the Wicked musical.

Who are our witches?

The Wicked Witch of the West (WWOTW) and Wicked Witch of the East (WWOTE) were sisters. This may be linked to the 2 women in the Go household mentioned earlier. The 2 women may be Do Heejae and her sister, and my guess is that the Head Nurse is the sister.

WWOTE = Moonyoung’s mother, Do Heejae

Known to be beautiful => multiple mentions that Do Heejae was beautiful, portrayed as feminine (often associated with beauty)

Used sorcery to control people => obsessive control over Moonyoung

Infatuated with Tinman before he became Tinman => she married Go Daehwan, so….

Caused Tinman to be without a heart => maybe she caused Go Daehwan a mental breakdown that landed him in the psychiatric hospital

Died from a house falling on her = died under a house => died in the basement, which is where? Under a house!

WWOTW = the woman in the lake aka Do Heejae’s sister, who might be the Head Nurse

Known to be a tomboy => Head Nurse has tomboy tendencies

Saved Tinman from losing his heart => Taking care of Go Daehwan in the hospital

Melted in contact of water => died in the lake, and Do Heejae loves to sing "Oh My Darling Clementine" which is about a woman drowning in a river

Who is Dorothy?

After WWOTE died, Good Witch of the North (GWOTN) gave Dorothy WWOTE’s ruby shoes, which WWOTW coveted, and told her to follow the yellow brick road to find the Wizard of Oz. Coincidence with the red shoes Moonyoung wore and the hospital’s brick path in ep 2 despite being linked to a different fairytale? I don’t think so! By now, we would have known that IOTNBO doesn’t do coincidences.

So Moonyoung is Dorothy. Not just because of the shoes. Firstly, what did Dorothy want the most? To return home. Just as how Moonyoung wants a warm family or home, they needed a sense of belonging.

Secondly, Dorothy was pointed to as the person who killed the 2 witches. While I’m pretty sure Moonyoung didn’t kill any of these 2 women, it’s almost definite that she’s related to or perhaps the very reason of their deaths.

The murder of the Witch of the West

Then what was the sister coveting? Go Daehwan? Her sister’s newfound wealth after marrying Go Daehwan? Or Do Heejae's attention (since Do Heejae loved Moonyoung to the point of obsession, her obsession may have ruined the sisters’ relationship)? (Thank you @honeyohhon​ for this.)

GWOTN described WWOTW as "worse than the other," so if this direction is right, Do Heejae's sister wouldn’t just sit back and accept it. She would be vengeful and put up a fight with Do Heejae. This might explain why she ended up in the lake, and why the Head Nurse, who comes off as an easygoing person, barely interacts with Moonyoung and even seems a bit cold to her (though Moonyoung doesn’t like to socialise lol). And Moonyoung doesn’t recognise the Head Nurse as her aunt because Moonyoung was always kept in the house.

Therefore, my take is that Do Heejae's novel is not about murdering Kangtae’s mother like some theories I’ve seen (she did write a few volumes before she killed Kangtae’s mother). It’s about Do Heejae killing her sister aka Head Nurse. And with all the foreshadowing and the mention that the novel had not been completed, both women might be alive………....????!?!!??!!???? Idk man 🤯🤯🤯I’ve no idea where Do Heejae would be.

Anyway, The Wizard of Oz doesn’t just apply to the 2 women in mystery. In IOTNBO, we also have our own tinman, scarecrow, lion and wizard.

Go Daehwan the tinman with no heart => no soul

Sangtae the scarecrow with no brain but is just young and naive => has a developmental disorder and infantalised by almost everyone

Kangtae the lion with no courage => ’nuff said

Director Oh the middle aged wizard who is "a good man but a bad wizard" and gave Tinman, Scarecrow and Lion what they needed => helping them as the director one way or another

Park Ok Ran the messenger

She’s definitely a red herring. Likely a pawn. WWOTW did have winged monkeys to do her bidding. Being the head nurse of a psychiatric hospital, Do Heejae’s sister/Head Nurse has easy access to the mentally unstable patients and their files. She could have conditioned the patients into certain behaviours or to do things for her. Perhaps she conditioned Kang Eunja in ep 5 and 6 into mistaking Moonyoung as her daughter? And Park Ok Ran?

Park Ok Ran had just begun reading the novel’s first volume in ep 5, the day after Go Daehwan choked Moonyoung. I really don’t think that’s a coincidence. By ep 7, she was at volume 9.

While she took volume 9 from the library herself, what made her start reading the books in the first place?

It seems like she received the first few volumes with cue cards like Sangtae did, judging by the cue cards kept in her copy of volume 3 (an earlier volume). Get this: she possessed a copy of volume 3 even when she left the hospital in ep 10 but the library wasn’t missing any volume when she went to get volume 9 in ep 7. 👀👀👀  

She used to be a theatre actress, and she seems clear that she’s not Do Heejae but a fan. Perhaps she received a role to play and the director communicates with her through the cue cards?

Kangtae also found her notebook, which seems to be a study of the books. I can’t read them because the shots aren’t very clear and it doesn’t help that the handwriting is a bit inconsistent. I then tried to compare her handwriting with the cue cards Sangtae received, and it is possible that his cards were not written by Park Ok Ran. I could be wrong because cursive vs neat handwriting? Ugh, spare me.

ETA: @annerossee​ mentioned that ep 13′s preview had Kangtae showing Director Oh the cue cards and Director Oh told him not to trust anyone. Seems like he recognised the handwriting.

If I’m right, then Park Ok Ran was simply passing the message to Sangtae. She was the last person to have the library’s copy of volume 9. And the volume Sangtae received in ep 10 was NINE. 👀 

End.

Any thoughts? 

I actually have have more theories on Moonyoung, her dad and Sangtae but this post is already quite a lot of work 😅Maybe tomorrow.

[galacticbugman]

Colorado Fun! Summer 2019 Part 1: Prehistoric Adventures

Greetings from Colorado! It was sure a wild trek I took a few weeks ago. It was so cool to visit some of the old hot spots and the new places. This was a photo of me taken at one of my favorite Dinosaur Museums. This place is called the Rocky Mountain Dinosaur Resource Center. It has a lot of cool things in it. It may be a small little place but it has quite the collection. Here I am behind a model of a Megalodon’s Jaws. These suckers got huge. They wouldn’t have to bite just to swallow you whole. I am so tiny compared to this set of Shark Chompers. It was kind of freaky yet cool. I got a lot of neat photos so lets get started. Just a warning you will be hearing and reading a lot of Jurassic Park related stuff in this posting. 

Okay so you know I can’t pass up a Jurassic Park post it is one of my favorite movies of all time. This one is at the same place as the Meg jaws. This poster I am next to is an authentic original Jurassic Park (1993) Poster. I have all the movies and now the original books. Jurassic Park has had a big impact on my life and I enjoy the whole series. The movies are great and the books are even better. I have been a big fan and no trip to a Dinosaur museum is never complete without some references to classic Dinosaur films from the Sliver Screen. Did you notice my clothes? I thought you did. Yep I wore my Jurassic Park button down and my Jurassic World Raptor shirt for this trek. I went all out and even wore my fossilized Shark Tooth Necklace. I always have a theme when I got to certain places or at least I try to. 

On the other side of the theater area they have another authentic poster from my favorite JP movie in the series. This is an original poster from The Lost World: Jurassic Park which came out in 1997. This was so cool to see posters from the two best Jurassic Park films ever created. I really enjoy finding Jurassic Park based things. I just crazy about stuff like this. I really enjoy the novels that Michael Crichton wrote back in the 90s as well as the movies. I like both types of media and I know that when this movie came out many fans of the book were pretty outraged by the movie not being like the book like we saw with the first movie which did follow pretty close to the book with a few plot differences and things. Jurassic Park for me is one thing I really enjoyed growing up with I have some of the Toys, a Jurassic Park bed sheet set, all of the movies that does include the Jurassic World stuff. I have the Lego Jurassic World Video Game for the Nintendo 3DS, I have played countless Jurassic Park games including the Rampage Edition, the NES Jurassic Park game, the SNES game, I have played the demo for Jurassic Park: Operation Genesis, I have played Jurassic Park Builder for Android, Jurassic World the Game, and Jurassic World: Alive. i even have the Jurassic Park: Danger board game. I am just a huge fan of this and have several shirts and things that I wear pretty often. I wasn’t able to watch the films until I was older. I was I was about ten or eleven when I was finally able to watch the films. Ever since I was able to watch them my mind was blown and I became an instant fan. Of course I did collect  the toys way before I saw the movies I have several that I might post in post of their own in a collection of my collectibles that I have collected over the years of being a huge fan of many things. Still a pretty cool find in one of the coolest museums on the planet. 

One of the coolest things about this museum is that they have the third Largest Tyrannosaurus-Rex. It used to be the second almost topping Sue; but in recent years there is another one that has been discovered to be even taller than Sue. Still this monster is one of my favorite dinosaurs and has always been my favorite since I was kid and it is one of my favorites in the Jurassic Park franchise. Tyrannosaurus-Rex was not really an active hunter but more of a scavenger. It’s teeth are kind of dulled out and only used for ripping and swallowing whole instead of chewing. What is the deal with the tiny little stubby arms you ask? It has been up for debate for years but some thing that they played a part in the mating ritual of this species but we are not too sure about that. It is just speculation which paleontology is all about. Still a fantastic and giant creature from the last Cretaceous period. 

 One of my favorite shark fossils is this one. This is an almost complete spinal region and skull of a shark. It maybe the only one in existence so far as we know. This is kind of a really interesting rarity. As we know Shark skeletons are made of cartilage and it often breaks down and deteriorates after a while but in this is one of those rare fossils of cartilage. It is kind of neat and this shark may looks small but it is pretty large. The photos don’t really do it justice than experiencing these fossils in person. Lets look at another cool fossil shall we. 

What is this weird creature? Is it an alien? Well it is from a time very different from our own. This is the Giant Ground Sloth and my brother and I saw this guy being put together on a display stand. This is one of the weirdest creatures. You may have heard of the Horse Apple or Bois De’ Arc tree. Well the horse apple was a favorite food of this species as well as the mammoths that lived here thousands of years ago. This one was pretty young and just a little taller than me. I am about 5′ 9″ and these guys could get up to ten foot tall so this guy was not even close to being done growing. This guy is kind of a weird dumpy animal but it is quite interesting to look at. It was kind of cool to see all kinds of extinct animals other than Dinosaurs. There was a bunch of neat stuff at the Denver Museum of Nature and Science. 

As a huge Jurassic Park fan I couldn’t help but notice this skull hanging in the prehistoric wing of the museum. You may recognize it from Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom. This guy is the Stygimoloch AKA Stiggy in Jurassic Park. Sorry to bust your bubble on these guys but they can’t actually ram each other or solid brick wall. These guys would shatter their skulls if they were to do that. These guys may have used their heads to amplify noise or to show off for the ladies. These guys are still pretty cool to look at. I saw this and was instantly familiar with it. Stiggy is one of my favorite Jurassic World Dinosaurs for the chaos at the auction scene when we was running about causing panic and confusion to buy Owen Grady some time. This was one of the coolest fossils in their collection. This is the first one of these I have seen in any museum collection. 

A cool battle scene between an Allosaurus and a Stegosaurus. You might think of a Stegosaurus to have a pretty good defense due to those big thick bony plates; however this is simply not the case. The plates are actually very thin and were possibly only used for mating purposes. This made the plates more like a blood filled cookie. Still they did have their famous weapon the Thagomizer which was used as a weapon and could really do some damage. I will never forget the scene in The Lost World: Jurassic Park when Sarah Harding gets attacked by the family heard after her camera messes up when she is photographing the baby causing it to sent of an alarm call. Stegosaurus is a huge dinosaur and will always be one of my favorites. Fun Fact: In the first Jurassic Park novel by Michael Crichton instead of using a sick triceratops like they did in the film it was actually a sick Stegosaurus that Dr. Harding was caring for when the Toyota Land Cruisers came up to that point on the tour. That was one of the biggest differences in media but the same thing was going on with both animals in both forms of media.   

A close up of a Stegosaurus Thagomizer. 

A cool Hadrosaur fossil that was also at the Denver Museum. They had a lot of cool fossils but I didn’t get a chance to photograph them all. There was just too much and so little time to see the whole museum but heck it was really cool to see some of the Jurassic Park superstars in this museum. Hardrosaurus was not in Jurassic Park but this was one of the first dinosaurs I ever learned about. These guys are also known as Duck-bills for their goofy looking mouths. Dinosaurs had some of the coolest features from weird headgear, to weird mouth shapes, to their wild arsenal of weapons. Even in the time of the dinosaurs biological warfare was very weird. 

A rather cool replica I got on the trip was this cast of a Raptor claw. I am a huge Raptor fan and adding one of these to my collection was really cool. My collection is now in a nice display cabinet with some of my Jurassic Park toys in the mix just to make it more interesting. Fossils are just one of my favorite things to collect and even though this is a fake it is still a nice edition to my educational collections and too I got it reminded me of Alan Grant’s Raptor Claw from Jurassic Park (1993) and I am a huge JP Raptor fan. I will be doing a top ten Jurassic Park Dinosaurs post soon to show you what my top 10 pics are after the trip photos. So stay tuned more animals and stuff to show you from Colorado as my Colorado trip review continues. 

[anamedblog]

The Rise of the Ottomans in Istanbul

By Mark Huggins, ANAMED PhD Fellow (2019–2020)

My entry on the ANAMED blog takes a look at the new Netflix docudrama: Rise of Empires—Ottoman, a second effort following on its last docudrama on czar Nicholas II Romanov of Russia (reviews of that series were mixed; the Guardian wasn’t kind (https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2019/jul/11/the-last-czars-netflix-historical-drama-that-the-whole-of-russia-is-laughing-at), but the Daily Beast raved (https://www.thedailybeast.com/the-last-czars-inside-netflixs-stunning-russian-answer-to-the-crown).

All 6 episodes of Ottoman were made available for streaming on Netflix this past Friday, 24 January. The reviews I’ve found published so far have been positive ( https://www.thereviewgeek.com/riseofempires-ottoman-s1review/, https://www.hitc.com/en-gb/2020/01/24/rise-of-empires-ottoman-netflix-narrator-charles-dance-actor/, https://www.thecinemaholic.com/rise-of-empires-ottoman-netflix/, https://readysteadycut.com/2020/01/24/rise-of-empires-ottoman-netflix-review/) and at least one ANAMED fellow was watching the series yesterday and seemed to be thoroughly entertained. Having watched the episodes myself, and being an enthusiast of period pieces generally, my opinion of the series is also positive overall. Each 45-minute episode addresses a particular theme/step in the process of Sultan Mehmed II’s (Fatih Sultan Mehmed) eventual capture of the capital of the Byzantine Empire, Constantinople. The series draws on both modern accounts and ancient, both Byzantine and Ottoman. The format is further supplemented by breaks in the historical dramatization to receive background information and explanations from scholars on the period.

Being a fellow at ANAMED this year has decisively influenced the way I viewed this series because over the last few months I have had the opportunity to explore this living treasure chest of past civilizations, and to the series’ credit, it is filmed on site here in Istanbul (though, of course, special effects and constructed sets are also employed). Generally, I’ve been fortunate; since I have studied in nearby Thessaloniki, I managed to visit Istanbul a few times before coming to ANAMED. Nevertheless, I never even scratched the surface compared to what I’ve experienced and learned now (and I certainly haven’t even scratched the surface this time, either, in relation to what the city has to offer). That being said, my time here has afforded me the opportunity to visit some of the monuments and sites mentioned in the series—of course, with the knowledgeable and pleasant company of other fellows! For example, episode 1 takes a look at Mehmed II’s bold construction (in 4 months!) of Rumelihisarı. I visited the site last October, currently located just north of the scenic Bebek neighborhood on the European side of the Bosphorus. Mehmed II’s construction of the fortress sent a message to Constantinople that he was coming.

image credits: Stavroula Valtadorou 

This by itself wasn’t enough to necessarily unnerve either Constantine XI, the reigning Byzantine emperor at the time (and the last one, of course), or any of his predecessors. As the series repeatedly notes, many armies had come and gone, falling either dead or else impotent at the impenetrable fifth-century Theodosian Walls. It had been common knowledge among Byzantine rulers for centuries that, when all else failed, Constantinople would withstand any possible attack. Hold the city and you’re emperor. This was what Mehmed II’s father, Murad II, had learned the hard way back in 1421. The Byzantines didn’t need superior forces (which was good because they hadn’t had any for a long time); their diplomacy was enough as long as the walls held, and a well-timed revolt or challenge to the throne was usually enough to make massive armies disappear. Murad II had better luck in Thessaloniki, which he captured in 1430. He immediately proceeded to convert the Panagia Acheiropoietos Church (built in late 5th century) into a mosque, and his seal commemorating his victory and thanking Allah can still be seen in the now functioning church to this day.

image credit: https://gr.pinterest.com/pin/510947520199763166/?d=t&mt=login 

The series does a good job of explaining Mehmed II’s motivation in taking Constantinople, as well as the factions within his own Court that sought to undermine him. Since his father, Murad II had failed, Mehmed II was determined to succeed. In order to do so, though, he needed superior technology, and this is precisely what he procured in the form of the legendary “basilica” canons, which did eventually manage to breach Constantinople’s famed defenses. In Edirne, capital of the Ottoman Empire at the time, a monument commemorates Mehmed II’s victory, complete with a replica of some of his cannon.

image credits: ANAMED PhD fellows Jeffrey Haines and Athanasios Sotiriou

The story that Rise of Empires—Ottoman tells is full of detail and vivid imagery, making it accessible to anyone (even Byzantinists (!), who are usually trained to stop thinking of anything past 1453…) All in all, this mini-series is enjoyable, engaging and, if you’re an ANAMED fellow, yet another reminder to get out there and explore this incredible city and country that is full to the brim with historical treasures everywhere you look. My stay at ANAMED has made this experience come alive for me like never before, interacting with both the place and the people, especially benefiting from the extensive knowledge of other fellows. The series by no means replaces the in-person, hands-on experience of the city, but for anyone not yet fortunate enough to have been here, perhaps it will provide the impetus you need to make the effort to visit and explore. I highly recommend the series, because, if for nothing else, it reminds us fellows of what we enjoy every day throughout these 9 months and may serve as an initiation for others to come and experience the same one day.

I am grateful to all the fellows who helped with this post by providing pictures and/or background information to supplement my (embarrassingly almost non-existent) knowledge of the Ottoman Empire: Betül Kaya, Ibrahim Mansour, Jeffrey Haines, Athanasios Sotiriou, and Stavroula Valtadorou (my fellow!).

[timeagainreviews]

An Unearthly Comparison

Before we begin, I would like to start by saying- I know that "An Unearthly Child," is considered part of the Cave of Skulls serial. I've chosen to treat it as it's own separate story, due to the fact that it has very little to do with the other three episodes. As far as I am concerned, you could have put any story at the end of An Unearthly Child, and the results would have been the same.

In the last two days since "The Woman Who Fell to Earth," aired, I've had discussions as to why the Doctor lost her TARDIS, and what that might mean. A worry I had was that the TARDIS had rejected Jodie, and was making her prove she was still the Doctor, which would suck for obvious reasons. But my friend suggested something else- it's just a plot device. And it makes sense. Why would Yasmine leave behind her job to travel with the Doctor? What better way is there to keep Graham and Ryan together as a family? The Doctor can't just kidnap people can she?

Watching "An Unearthly Child" can be really jolting for a lot of modern Doctor Who fans. The Doctor is cantankerous, aloof, unhelpful, and contumacious. Sure, we've seen these traits in all of our modern Doctors, but with William Hartnell, it's so prevalent. Which is why it's hard to believe there was a version of him that was even more unpleasant! So naturally, I had to find out for myself.

For those of you not in the know, when "An Unearthly Child" (or AUC) was originally filmed, BBC's Head of Drama, Sydney Newman, was unhappy with the results. He told producer Verity Lambert to reshoot the episode in its entirety with a few changes to the characters and script. Ironically, with all of the official episodes of Doctor Who that were destroyed, this unaired pilot still exists! The episode lived another sort of double life, as it was aired two weeks in a row, due to the Kennedy Assassination the day before the premiere. Or as Terry Pratchett put it- "because of public demand and that pesky business with the grassy knoll."

The beginnings of the two different versions of aren't all that different. There is an audible "bang," sound in the opening music that I had never noticed before. And oddly enough, the picture quality in the unaired version is a bit crisper. You can actually read the I.M. Forman written on the gate of the scrapyard on Totter's Lane. Though I will say the camera work in the aired version is much snappier. I'm not sure if it's just the version I have, or if it has anything to do with the 16 mm telerecording. Who knows?

Try to imagine, if you will, what it was like to watch Doctor Who back then. Science fiction was still a thing of ire. Spaceships were stupid looking, and the stories were hacky. But this was something different. Something like C.S. Lewis (who also died the day before the episode aired). No matter what programs Doctor Who has inspired since, there's still nothing quite like it. Nothing that gets so borderline surreal. Nothing that has so much staying power.

We're introduced to Ian and Barbara. Two teachers at Coal Hill School in London. Barbara is concerned about a mutual student who perplexes her. In rewatching these episodes, I was reminded of the scene in Donnie Darko when Drew Barrymore and Noah Wyle discuss the titular character, a student of theirs that seems to stand out from the rest. In comparing the two versions of AUC, the biggest difference is that Ian and Barbara are sitting down in the aired version, which seems like a good choice. There's a more intimate, less rushed feeling. They feel more familiar with one another. Evidently, the original script had indicated a romance between them but was later toned down. I don't know why. I ship it.

It's through this interaction that we meet Susan. I've always had some rather conflicted feelings about Susan. On one hand, she's kind of endearing, and in other ways, she's downright annoying. When we meet her through the lens of Ian and Barbara's perspective, she's brilliant, enigmatic, and strange. Possessing knowledge no person her age should actually know.

The Susan we meet moments later is a bit more of a kid you'd expect in the 1960's. She listens to surfer music by the fictional "John Smith and the Common Men," while sort of strumming along with the music. This marks the first appearance of the name John Smith in Doctor Who, by the way. The impression I get is that Susan was supposed to be kind of "hip." Even her hairstyle was designed by Vidal Sassoon, which is actually still pretty cool.

After surreptitiously trying to learn more about Susan's home situation by offering her a ride home, we're left alone with the young girl. One of the things I'm kind of sad they scrapped in the aired version, is Susan's little inkblot Rorschach test she reads like tea leaves. It was a very "I Ching," moment, that I thought made her seem almost mystical. Instead, the scene ends with Susan looking through a book on the French Revolution (all white with big black letters like it was produced in the Repo Man universe), and exclaiming- "That's not right!"

Ian and Barbara follow Susan to the address in her school file, 76 Trotter's Lane, the same scrapyard from the beginning of the episode. They follow her in to find nothing but a bunch of junk and a large blue police box. Upon touching it, Ian describes the box as "alive." It is at this point, that the two versions of the episode begin to diverge the most.

William Hartnell's initial portrayal of the Doctor is almost villainous. Where he's supposed to come off as mysterious, he comes off as scheming and methodical. Instead of thinking he has some great secret he's worried about getting out, he appears more to have some horrible secret he's hiding. You almost side with Ian and Barbara, that Susan is in danger. It's easy to see how this is wrong for the character. You want the Doctor to be independent, and at times, contrarian, but never to the point that he seems like the antagonist. Dr Smith in Lost in Space comes to mind. His initial portrayal was one of a villain, but over time, his strength was found in being a sort of anti-hero, and friend to Will Robinson.

The way they solved this? Well, he appears more curious. More aloof. Less direct and confrontational. There's a bit more twinkle in his eye the second time around. Vague threats turn into goading and daring. As Ian interrogates the Doctor, the Doctor takes interest in some of the random junk around him. His curiosity, mixed with his blasé attitude toward their concern gives him the right mix of intrigue and mischief. You can tell he's hiding something, but it feels less to evade justice, but rather to protect himself, Susan, and even the two interlopers.

A lot of the beauty in capturing this balance is in the name of the show. Who is this Doctor? Why is he in a scrapyard? What is the deal with that police box? These are the right questions that the audience should be asking. You should wonder about his intentions, but not be able to say outrightly- this man is a criminal. But Ian and Barbara are still unconvinced, as they push forward into the big box, and like a C.S. Lewis novel, into a whole new world.

Some of the best moments in Doctor Who are the big reveal of the TARDIS. It will never not be cool. But the unique element to this reveal is it's the first one that was a big reveal to the audience as well. That's actually rather unique when you give it some thought. Usually, we're all in on the joke, waiting for it. We know about the wide-eyed expressions, mouths agape. "It's bigger on the inside!" they'll say. You know something is weird about the police box. They've framed it in the middle of the shot. The episode begins around it. We've been beckoned toward it since the beginning of the story. Even with the red herring of seeing a policeman walking past it at the beginning, the low hum it emits betrays any sense that it is merely common.

Ian and Barbara, have at this point, seen too much. It's still early, days and our Doctor doesn't like showing off his special ship. We learn it's name, given by Susan as an acronym for "Time and Relative Dimension in Space," (later to be changed to "Dimensions," for no apparent reason). One of my favourite aspects of this scene is the Doctor explaining the TARDIS's dimensional capabilities by comparing it to television's ability to shrink a large object down onto a screen. It's sci-fi mumbo-jumbo, but I love it.

Another big difference we see here is that in the first version, Susan explains that she was born in the 49th century. It's a little too on the nose. Explains a little bit of the "Who" in the title too much. Another thing is the hum of the TARDIS is much more abrasive in the original version. In reviewing it just a moment ago, my cat gave me a rather cross look from the shrill noise. Like Ian said, “I have... a very sensitive ear.” Though this is not the last time the Radiophonic Workshop will pierce your eardrums.

It's in this scene that we see the greatest disparity in William Hartnell's performance. He's angry, confrontational, and even calls Susan a stupid child at one point. His temper is evident and not at all endearing. It makes his decision to kidnap Ian and Barbara less one of survival, and more of one of control. While it has never made a whole lot of sense what danger two school teachers knowing his secrets could present, the Doctor chooses to kidnap his new guests. We never know why he was in the scrapyard (though we do find out in later episodes) or why Susan wanted to attend school. Susan's "why," may be self-evident, in that she's a child who wants to be around other children, but the Doctor's reasons are less evident. Either way, the scene fares far better in the aired version.

What comes next is one of my favourite shots in the history of the show. There's something exhilarating about the TARDIS among a rocky terrain, and the approaching shadow that cuts a long menacing shape against the horizon. It's pure science fiction and yet another big reveal. The Doctor wasn't lying. This ship of his really can move through space in an instant. It's a beautiful beginning to one of television's greatest sagas.

Thanks for reading! I won't be writing the Cave of Skulls retrospective until maybe next week. I have a convention to attend this weekend, so I probably won't have the time. You should probably expect more series 11 coverage around then too!

[graemereviewsdisneymovies]

Fantasia (1940)

I thought this review would be short and then I just sort of kept writing. Sorry about that.

The third film in the Disney Animated Canon is the first anthology film, and to this day the longest feature film Disney has ever released. Early Disney films hang around hour, Renaissance films hang around 90 minutes, and Revival/modern era films generally around 100 minutes. The original and restored cuts of Fantasia are 126 minutes (just over 2 hours), and it was originally released with a 15 minute intermission. Similar to Snow White, this one seems like just as much an experiment as a feature film, as it’s essentially a series of music videos for classical music. It began life as The Sorcerer’s Apprentice, which was meant to be a Silly Symphonies short that would be a comeback for Mickey Mouse. Then the budget went past what Disney would make back from a short, so Disney animated 6 more sequences, all set to classical music, and threw in live action scenes of music critic Deems Taylor as a Master of Ceremonies and the Philadelphia Orchestra (who recorded all the music except The Sorcerer’s Apprentice). It works out to be significantly longer than either of the preceding films in the canon, at 2 hours.

This is the first Disney Animated Canon film I’d seen at all as a child - I saw the Night On Bald Mountain short at school once, although I had very faint memories of it and I have no idea why we were watching it. And my teacher called it Night On Bare Mountain, for some reason, I specifically remember that. Also my childhood association with a few pieces of classical music may have affected my opinions on a few of the recordings.

After Taylor explains the idea behind the film, the first piece of music beings. He shows back up between every segment of the movie to introduce each piece of music and what the animation will do.

Bach’s Toccata and Fugue in D Minor (the generic creepy castle pipe organ song) opens on footage of the orchestra, mostly in silhouette, against brightly lit coloured backgrounds. A few minutes in, it turns to strange abstract animation, which continues to the end of the song. At the end of the song, it returns to the orchestra. There’s not really much to say about this part. The music is good, the visuals are nice, but it’s not particularly memorable.

Taylor introduces the next piece with a comment that’s become hilarious in hindsight. I thought it was dry sarcasm while I was watching the movie. While explaining the history of the suite, he says that “the ballet it’s from isn’t very popular, but the suite is”. He’s talking about Tchaikovsky’s Nutcracker. Apparently the ballet was a huge flop on initial release, and didn’t become the Christmas classic it is today until the late 60’s, which also explains why the animation has absolutely nothing to do with the story. It follows fairies, dancing plants, fish, and the changing seasons as brought on by the fairies, who show up again at the end. The dancing flowers were particularly memorable and fun to watch.

Dukas’ The Sorcerer’s Apprentice is the most iconic short, starring Mickey Mouse as the titular apprentice, who enchants a broom to carry water for him, despite a lack of control over his magic. He marches around with the broom a few times, falls asleep, conducts the music while pointing at the starts and causing them to twinkle brighter in his dream, and wakes up to find the room flooded. He murders the broom with an axe, but the broom reforms and every splinter or broom forms a whole new one and each one carries more water. The sorcerer, who is not named on screen, but is officially named Yen Sid (real creative name, Disney) wakes up, comes downstairs, fixes the problem, and swats Mickey with the broom. This one feels most like a Silly Symphonies short, because that’s what it was originally meant to be. Probably the most memorable overall, compared to the other shorts which mostly have a few memorable shots or scenes. The music is good, the animation is good, and it introduced a redesign of Mickey that’s still in use today.

Before Stravinsky’s Rite Of Spring, Mickey walks up to the conductor, tugs on his coat tail, says hi, and leaves. The lighting allows Mickey to appear entirely in silhouette, hiding the fact that animation was decades away from Roger Rabbit style integration with live action. Then someone knocks over the chimes, which is meant to be some kind of comic relief, I guess.

The Rite Of Spring opens on the Earth forming, and has a spectacular sequence with lava and volcanoes followed by what was probably at the time a believed to be scientifically accurate depiction of the rise and fall of the Dinosaurs. A T-Rex fights a Stegosaurus, while the other dinosaurs watch as if they’re about to film the fight and put it on youtube or something, and then all leave when the Stegosaurus loses. They look almost comically disappointed by the ending, as if they’d lost a small bet over the winner instead of just watched a death. Then all the vegetation dies, they try to migrate, they all die, and the Earth floods. Stravinsky was the only composer alive to see his music put to animation in Fantasia, and he hated the sequence. I didn’t. The lava and the dinosaur fight are both great, and I’m not familiar with The Rite Of Spring so the rearrangement of the piece doesn’t annoy me.

After this, Deems Taylor announces an intermission. In some cut’s, anyway. I’ll get into that later. Following the intermission, there’s a short jam session, and then we’re introduced to The Soundtrack, a stylized representation of the soundtrack on a reel of film.

Beethoven's Pastoral Symphony follows a group of mythological creatures holding a festival for Bacchus, which is interrupted when Zeus (looking an awful lot like his later appearance in Hercules, but blue) decides to throw lightning at everyone for no discernable reason other than being a dick. The animation is nice, but this short is better known because of the censorship of one of the centaurs, who has been cut from the film though a combination of pan and scan zoom ins, re-editing, and being completely erased from one scene, on the grounds that it was… racist. Really racist. Starting with the 1969 re-release, Fantasia has been completely blackface donkey centaur free, which is nice. This segment was good. The music is nice, but the animation wasn’t a huge standout to me.

Ponchielli’s Dance of the Hours was, to be completely honest, my least favorite short. It’s about dancing animals, focusing for most of the short on Hippos and Alligators. There’s nothing wrong with it, it just didn’t stick out to me the way some of them did. The music was good, the animation was good, there’s nothing actually wrong with it, it was just not as good as the rest of the shorts.

The final short, and my personal favorite, is the only one that consists of more than one piece of classical music. Mussorgsky’s Night On Bald Mountain and Schubert’s Ave Maria share a short, which contains some stellar animation and great creepy imagery. Chernabog the demon (heavily implied to be Satan himself by Deems Taylor in his introduction for the short, but he’s since been identified as an obscure Slavic deity, because… reasons) is suitably macabre and creepy, and most of the short consists of him being worshipped by ghosts and skeletons, before the church bells ring, the spooky scary followers go back to the graveyards, and Chernabog is forced back into the mountain by the bells and the sunlight. A procession of people walking through the forest carrying candles sings Ave Maria, signalling the coming of the morning. The music is great, the animation is great, and I’m probably biased because I love horror movies but I just really like this part of the movie.

Fantasia has been re-edited several times. Besides the removal of that one racist centaur, there’s been re-releases that remove or trim the live action sections, resulting in Deems Taylor being dubbed due to lost audio in some of his restored scenes in some cuts of the movie.

On the subject of audio, it was the first commercial film released in Stereo Sound. The original release boasted the “Fantasound” speaker system. Given that the movie relies so much on visuals and sound, I feel like I haven’t been able to truly appreciate it, given that I watched it on a fairly small screen, wearing headphones. It deserves to be watched in at least 5.1 Surround (or if you have the setup for it, there was a blu-ray release with 7.2 Surround). I, as a broke college student, do not have a large screen tv, or a surround sound system, but I imagine that they would add a lot to the film. However, it’s currently in the Disney Vault with the exception of Netflix.

The animation also improves dramatically overall compared to Snow White and Pinocchio. Rite Of Spring and Night On Bald Mountain in particular have scenes that are vast improvements on the previous films. I would love to see a theatrical re-release of this.

It was meant to be updated and changed every year, with segments being taken out and replaced with new ones, but this idea was scrapped when it didn’t do well at the box office - World War II cutting off distribution to Europe didn’t help it’s chances - despite being mostly critically acclaimed on release. Later re-releases helped it to gain its current acclaim, though it’s still considered somewhat of a mixed bag, and it’s aimed more at adults or teenagers than the rest of the canon. The usual target age group of Disney is likely to just get bored for most of the runtime, then terrified by Night On Bald Mountain. It eventually received a sequel, Fantasia 2000, in 1999, 54 years later. If we’re all lucky I’ll get around to reviewing the sequel faster than Disney got around to making it. So worth a watch if you haven’t seen it, I guess, although I can’t say I’ll be rewatching it any time soon unless I’m given the chance to see it with a really good audio setup.

Also, apparently the 2010 Nick Cage movie The Sorcerer’s Apprentice is supposed to be an expansion of the scene of the same name from Fantasia so I guess this is the only disney movie that can claim have a remake starring Nick Cage. And, I guess, the first to get a live action remake?

[ramblesandmumblesofanerd]

Rambling Reviews: Netflix’s Death Note

Welp, the day has come. As you can see, the Netflix version of the popular anime Death Note has just been released. And, as I said I would, I saw it. What are my initial opinions on the subject? Well, through the filter of professionalism I have put upon myself for this blog, I can certainly say that the film is dull, boring, ignores all of the rules of the source material and leaves you questioning as to why this film exists. If I were to remove this filter, all you could hear would be the incoherent screaming of a nerd who has been thoroughly wronged by whoever thought making this movie would be a good idea. For a better understanding of why this is the case, allow me to both make a few comparisons between the film and the anime/manga and also briefly talk about the film as a whole.

So, what is the plot of this particular version of Death Note? Well, one day at high school, Light Turner (ugh, that feels so wrong) comes across an old notebook which can kill people according to the onslaught of rules held within and the Death God Ryuk who practically forces the young man to try it out on a two-dimensional school bully. After he discovers the power he holds, Light and his high school sweetheart Mia Sutton decide to take it upon themselves to become KIRA, a God who will “never disappoint” and kill as many criminals as they possibly can. Eventually, the detective known as L gets involved and declares that he will capture and execute KIRA. And thus the story focuses on the struggle between Light being KIRA and also being a high school student all while trying not to be caught by L.

Firstly, things in this film just happen. The film never takes a moment to take a breath and calm down, every moment just races by at the speed of sound and smacks you in the face. Not even a full minute and thirty seconds pass until Light gets the notebook. No build up, no establishing characters, just: BOOM, Death Note. Also, the Death Note’s appearance comes with a lot of horror movie fanfare, as it comes on the breeze of a storm and causes all of the lights to flicker whenever it is being used. The same goes for Ryuk, especially in his initial appearance when he just messes around and scares the excrement out of Light. You expect big things to happen in this film, dramatic reenactments of iconic scenes lifted from the source material, but they fly by so fast that you're left wondering “...was that it?”. You wouldn’t have even known this was Death Note at the beginning of the film until you saw the title sequence.

So, I guess I should start talking about the characters at some point, shouldn’t I?

Well, Light was absolutely boring and was the complete antithesis to his predecessor. Light TURNER is just a punk high school student who helps other kids cheat on their tests for cash because his mom was killed. Oh, yeah, they go that route. One of Light’s first targets of the notebook was his mom’s killer, but I just couldn’t give a care. At all. Light Yagami was never driven by revenge (at least not until L started messing with his vision, and even then not by much), he just saw injustice in the world and his seventeen year old mind decided that if he uses  his Death Note to eliminate all of the evils of the world, he will assume the mantle of a godlike being. He does not care about anything else so long as it doesn’t benefit his vision. Granted, Light Turner eventually came to the same conclusion, but only after he got revenge and his girlfriend told him to keep going from there.

Meanwhile, there is Mia Sutton. “Who?” You may be asking? Well, she is Netflix’s version of Misa Amane, the Second Kira from the source material. She was a Japanese Pop Star who wanted to personally thank Kira after he killed the man who murdered her parents. By sheer coincidence, she came to possess her own Death Note and even more power than Light, thus how she was able to find him and become his girlfriend. Many people complain how she was not entirely necessary for most of the story, and I am willing to agree. Her character in the source material never seemed to go beyond “Love me, Senpai” and thus her intelligence in the later seasons suffered greatly. In the film, ironically, Mia is more like Light Yagami than Light Turner was for most of the film. She was the Id to Light’s Ego, as she constantly strived to eliminate all opposing forces, going so far as to plan ahead for certain scenarios. She was manipulative towards Light and vindictive to all who opposed KIRA. This would have made for an interesting twist, but by the time the climax was happening and everyone was going all in, I just couldn’t bother to care anymore.

Speaking of not caring, that is exactly how I believe the writers felt about the original, true version of L; they didn’t care, so they just made their own version. L in the source material was an orphan with a brilliant mind, one very similar to Sherlock Holmes. His soon to be butler and father figure Watari raised him at an orphanage where other children would soon be raised to succeed him should the need ever arise. This was due to the fact that L soon became a detective of then unparalleled genius and determination, solving all sorts of previously difficult or unsolved cases left and right until the day when KIRA became a looming threat. He is seen as secretive, emotionless, analytical, and deceptive in spite of his disheveled appearance. He is the perfect man to take on a mysterious psychopath like KIRA, be it from the shadows to keep his identity a secret, or face to face under a slew of fake names and aliases. Now, take all of that, and completely ignore it in this film. Netflix L is an overemotional child who openly mocks and taunts KIRA in the open without any form of protection other than a mask. He just comes out and says “HI, I will be your L for the evening!” And don’t get me started on him emotionally freaking out about losing control over the case to the point of actually holding a gun to Light’s head.

But what about Ryuk, the one character I was actually looking forward to seeing on the screen? Well, he is a mixed bag for me. On the one hand, I do actually like the way he looks, the effects are mostly practical and you do believe he is in the room...from the neck down. From the neck up, in spite of some moments, you can tell that the CGI isn’t registering as realistic to your eyes, so all you’re thinking is that Ryuk is just a man with either a green face mask or motion capture dots on his head. As for his character, Ryuk has apparently been a traitorous backstabber who has been passing down the Death Note for generations who constantly taunts Light for not just simply killing everyone who opposes him. All he’s really meant to do in this version is exposit rules about the notebook (most of which don’t even exist in the source material), laugh a bit and look scary. And yes, while the original Ryuk did that, he never came off as a threat rather than an interested bystander. Ryuk was a shinigami who just got bored in his world one day, as all you can really do in a world full of immortal death gods is gamble and sleep so long as you write enough names in your notebook to keep yourself alive. He sees how Light uses the Death Note and basically hangs around to watch the show and laugh at the funny humans until Light either gives up the notebook or dies. That’s what I like about the original Ryuk, he’s just a spectator and is thus an odd reflection of the audience.Netflix Ryuk is just a spiteful spirit who is more interested in Mia than Light.

So, you have failure across the board for all of the iconic characters, Not even the secondary characters like Light’s Dad or Watari get a pass, as they either have no character at all or the character we are given is so poorly written or overdone that we just do not care about them. Every character just felt so two-dimensional that I felt like I was watching a film starring a cast of cardboard cutouts. The only one who gave somewhat of a good performance was the tag team of Willem Dafoe as Ryuk’s voice and the poor shlub who had to physically be Ryuk.

And the effects...lordy the effects. When it comes to the deaths in this film, they are somewhat gruesome if not ridiculous. The first two deaths are reminiscent of Final Destination, as they are executed through what I can only describe as a Rube Goldberg Machine of Coincidence, and when the payoff comes watch out! There’s so much blood and gore, I’m surprised the town wasn’t painted red by the end of the movie. While death is kind of a big deal in this franchise, the way the film executed it was quite silly if not sickening.

So, in the end, Netflix’s Death Note was not a good film. It’s not even good in the “so bad, it’s good kind of way.” Fans will hate it because of how much it gets wrong and casual observers will just be bored and confused by it. I understand that when it comes to making an adaptation, some things need to be changed or erased, but when die hard fans of the source material leave your film feeling so much agitation that they want to make an entry in their sub-par blog(s) to talk about why it doesn’t work by repeatedly comparing it to the source material, perhaps it would have been better not to make your film in the first place. So, unless you like torture, avoid this film.

In the meantime, never stop rambling, TM

[captainjacksparrowpotc]

Dead Men Tell No Tales - Review (sort of)

Okay first of all, I wrote an entire review and because tumblr is a fucking piece of shit it glitched or whatever and I lost it all. Fuck you tumblr. Anyway, here is another version. I’ve probably forgotten to cover some stuff. My original covered like everything. Ugh. I’m so pissed right now.

So, I watched Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales, and as I promised, I’m going to tell you guys what I think of it.

Before I get into it, I’d like to start off with some important notes. First of all, this is going to be long as it’s an in detail review of the whole film (keeping in mind I’ve only seen it once), mixed with some of my thoughts on the franchise as a whole, and some headcanons. It’s kind of a combination of review, general thoughts, and slight rant over things I disliked about the film. Secondly, I’ve only seen it once, so this is all going off memory. I might have gotten some details wrong here or there. I’m doing this off a one time watch and memory of that. My opinions might change when I rewatch the film a second, third, or fourth time. I’ll let you know if they do. Thirdly, I’m warning everyone about language and negativity. Fourthly, this might contain some unpopular opinions and I’m not apologizing for that. That brings me to my fifth, and most important, note that this is my personal opinion. I am, as you are as well, entitled to my own opinion. I also would like to say as this is my blog, I’ll post whatever I damn well please. If you wish to discuss something with me, you may. Key word here being discuss. If you are planning on starting a fight, or coming to me to spew hateful words because you disagree with me, kindly fuck off. With that being said, on with the review! Oh, and spoiler alerts (duh).

To put it simply, it wasn’t good but it wasn’t terrible.

Quick overview? About 2 and a half hours of cheap jokes for a quick laugh. They weren’t bad (and often dirty) jokes. Got a bit repetitive in parts, and they weren’t all that great, but they did make me giggle more than a few times. Plot was, uh, lacking. It was there, but it wasn’t that good. Characterization was rather shit (for those we already knew, especially and in particularly for Jack). I do not like Kaya Scodelario. More on all of this below the cut:

(I wonder how many followers I’m going to lose because of this?)

I got to the cinema early. Almost ten minutes early, in fact. I still somehow managed to miss the very beginning of the film. I don’t know how much, but I think it was just starting? Henry was rowing. I got to my seat just as he arrived on the Dutchman. So, I’m not sure how much of the beginning I missed. I was kind of irritated because I was early, which meant they started the film WAY earlier than they were supposed to (I checked the ticket, to make sure I had the time right and I had).

So let’s go in order of what I put in the quick overview above. Then anything extra will be added after that.

First up: cheap jokes.

These aren’t new in the potc films. In fact, these witty little play on words moments, dirty jokes, and banter-like moments are often favorite scenes within the films. The problem is, it felt like they knew this, and as such over used them. It was as if they were like “okay so they like these moments so let’s shove as many as we can into the film and then double it.” Someone should have pointed out what a horrible idea that was. Too late now.

I mean I’m not saying those moments were bad. Most of them were funny. One of the things this franchise does really well is those types of jokes. But the problem was there were these great little funny moments within the film, as with the other films, that seemed to happen way too often. Noticeably too often. It felt like they paused the film to get them in.

I liked the jokes (most of them, the that’s-my-stern-not-my-port joke was drawn out for too long and died). They just relied on them too much, I think is the problem.

Second up, and boy is it a doozy, the plot.

(This might sound like characterization at first, but bare with me.)

Little Henry was cute. I can’t remember if it says his exact age, but I want to say around 10 or 12? They actually gave us a time frame with the “10 years later” or “5 years earlier” or whatever they were, but since I don’t remember the exact time line I can’t say for sure. Anyway, little Henry was cute. He loves his dad, and he reminded me of Will in the way he vowed to free him.

Will. Now THAT is something I’m a little miffed about. There’s been a debate within the fandom over whether or not Will was cursed to remain the Captain of the Flying Dutchman for all of eternity or just for the 10 years and if Elizabeth was there waiting for him he’d be set free. Personally, I thought it was the latter, and it made more sense that way. Turns out that’s not the case. I thinks it’s a bit BS, and kind of ruins the ending and story line of the second and third films. I mean, when I saw that he was still the captain and he was cursed to be like that forever, I felt really sad. And not the oh-now-I-hope-Henry-will-free-him sad, but the wow-the-ending-of-his-and-Elizabeths-story-is-now-kind-of-ruined-and-my-perception-of-it-has-just-changed-dramatically-for-the-worst sad.

It was also completely unnecessary??? I mean I was even talking with my brother about it after the film. I said that if you took Will out of the film, and just got rid of that entire plot line, it would still be the same film. He was completely pointless. For the record I love Will. He’s ridiculous and adorable. But if you’d have cut Henry and him out of the story and just had Carina in realize she needs Jack? Yeah, same story. It felt like they included Will because everyone loves Will and Orlando Bloom, so they were like “GIVE THE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT! BRING BACK WILL TURNER!” But if I had been there during that decision I’d have piped in with a “yes, we all love will, but we don’t want him brought back like this.”

Seriously, Henry could have been anyone else and the story would have been the same. The plot just needed someone to find Jack and pass on the message from Salazar. At this point you might be going “but what about the trident then? if Henry didn’t need the trident to free his father then he wouldn’t need to tell Jack to get it. So Jack would have just ran and there’d be no more plot!” Yeah but here is the thing, Jack wanted the trident to stop Salazar from coming after him. All Henry did was convince him to go after it. Could have easily done that another way. I’ve got nothing against Henry, I just think it’s a badly thought out and very thin/lame plot to hold it together.  

I don’t have an issue with Salazar leaving one person alive to tell the tale and having him get Jack. It makes sense, but Henry and the Will plot point is, as I’ve said, unnecessary.

Now I was about to go onto more plot issues, when I realized that the rest of the issues I have are characterization gone wrong more than bad plot.

So, third up is characterization.

Let’s start with Henry. Already established that I think he was a cute kid. Very devoted. Very brave. I think it was a little funny how when Will told him to stay away from the sea (to which side note, wtf Will he’s your son do you really think that’ll work. look at your own story), and then Will spent his entire life on the sea. Sailor Henry was cute. Overall, I have no problem with him, mostly because I’ve got nothing to compare him to. I do have an issue with his interactions with Jack. First he wants to find him, almost seems to look up to him as this super amazing adventurer after the stories he’s heard. Then when he meets him, he borderline hates him? I mean he doesn’t, but strong dislike. I get he’s disappointed, but he does a complete 180 on his opinion on him. Then just as fast as that happens, he suddenly likes him. By the end of the film he AND Carina care about him.

See the thing here is I think they were trying to re-do Will and Elizabeth. Henry was Will and Carina was Elizabeth. Only, that didn’t work. I mean, first of all it was way too obvious and as an audience member it was kind of offence that they were basically like ‘oooh, look! it’s just like the other films. you liked those. now like this one, too. see? just the same!’ Except it was not, and you audience is not a baby that you’re trying to trick into thinking the other toy is the same one as their favorite but you couldn’t find that one so you’re trying to convince it that the toy you are presenting is just as good if not the same. It didn’t work. Henry and Carina are NOT Will and Elizabeth. No matter how many bloody parallels they draw. I wouldn’t have a problem with it if they weren’t so blatantly trying to force us to take them as the same. So since they so obviously want us to take Henry and Carina as the new Will and Elizabeth, then I’ll be comparing them. They did this to themselves.

Anyway, onto the point I was making. There was not enough development between Carina and Henry and Jack. In any combination. Henry and Carina’s romance was bullshit, I’m sorry I have to call it. Will and Elizabeth’s love story stretched back to when they were children. They’d known each other and been in love for years. They then spent THREE FILMS getting to where they were. You may argue about the end of the first film as they get together, and the second opens with what should be their engagement. But here is the thing, THEY WERE IN LOVE FOR YEARS. Henry and Carina were not. Their relationship was absolutely terribly built. I did not believe it at all.

I’d like to take a moment to give a side note that, I actually did WANT to like all parts of this. I even tried to FORCE myself to like all these things I’m pointing out and tried to convince myself otherwise. So when I say this, please understand this is me admitting it, and not me just bitching about it because I didn’t want to like it from the start. I did. I really did want to like it. I went in with it wanting to like it. Convincing myself to like it.

So Carina and Henry’s relationship progressing that fast was dumb. If they wanted to move it that fast they needed SO MUCH MORE build up. I think the problem was that this film should have spanned two films. But they didn’t have the possibility because Johnny Depp could easily have refused (maybe they wanted to do that and he did refuse, I don’t know). But they pushed a two film plot into one film. At least it feels like that. So they cut things, rushed things, and cocked a lot of it up. A real shame.

Henry and Jack I’ve already touched upon. Carina and Jack was practically nonexistent. So why she cared about him at all makes no sense. Both Henry and Carina should not have cared as much about Jack as they did at the end. I mean, sure you can argue the whole ‘they are decent people and they know him and decent people care about other’s lives and especially if they know them.’ True. But given what we know about them all, and the lack of interactions, and the fact this is the 1700s and Jack was a pirate, I’m not buying it. They’d be concerned and care on a basic human level, sure. But risk their lives to save him? No.

Before we go to Carina’s characterization, let’s get to Will’s characterization. May I please be the one to say WHAT THE FUCKITY-FUCK WAS THAT. Okay sure, I could see Will turning a bit bitter towards Jack as time went on. He starts blaming Jack for making him the Captain of the Dutchman. He’s angry. Whatever. BUT THIS IS WILLIAM TURNER WE ARE TALKING ABOUT HERE. Will is like a fucking puppy. A cute little golden Labrador. He would have gotten over it. He’d have realized he can’t blame Jack. He’d know that Jack had to do it. That Jack did it for him. He did it for Elizabeth. He did it for himself, because Jack and Will are friends. He could not blame Jack for that. He wouldn’t blame Jack for that. At least not for long. So to have Will tell his son to stay away from Jack, to act as if he hates Jack, pissed me off. And it was not Will pretending so his son would not get involved in a crazy adventure with Jack. Will isn’t that good an actor. That was genuine hate. And it was totally out of character. WILL AND JACK ARE FRIENDS. I will scream this from the rooftops if I have to. Will risked EVERYTHING for Jack. In the first fucking film no less!!! He literally gave up (because if things hadn’t gone the way they had, that’s what he was doing) Elizabeth ELIZABETH for Jack. TO SAVE JACK. After everything, Will (and Elizabeth) cared about Jack. They’d been through enough by the end of At World’s End, that’s for bloody sure. Will, Elizabeth, and Jack are friends. I have no doubts that if one of them was in trouble, and someone came to get the other one to help, they would. If Elizabeth was in trouble and Will went to Jack for help, he’d help. If Will was in trouble and Elizabeth went to Jack for help, he’d help. If Jack was in trouble and - well you get the idea. They were friends. They cared about each other. Will’s reaction to Jack is bullshit. The way Will should have reacted was, sure, to tell Henry to not try anything because it would be too dangerous for a child. Yeah. He shouldn’t have told him to forget about him, because that’s ridiculous and Will of all people should know that you don’t forget about your father trapped by a curse to forever be on the Dutchman. But when Jack came up, Will should have told Henry not to go to him because he could see Jack becoming Uncle Jack, and dangerous adventures and bad influences on his innocent little son. He should not have been filled with hate.

Elizabeth’s characterization is kind of hard to comment on because she wasn’t there much. Like only a the end. From what I saw, I’m, uh, confused to say the least. This is 1700s. She’s a woman. You’re telling me her husband was cursed to forever be on a ship and only to come to land once every ten years, and no one batted an eye at her being by herself all that time? Why the fuck was Henry even OUT THERE to find Will? Where was Elizabeth? That in itself is a plot. That’s like Moana-esque. Henry wants to go to see (unlike Moana he knows why and it’s to get his dad). Elizabeth won’t let him go to see. Henry goes anyway. It ends badly the first time. But like, getting back to the point, Elizabeth wouldn’t have let her son do that. It means she didn’t know where he was because he’d sneaked off. So where was Elizabeth? She’s a woman in 1700s. She might be rich after inheriting her father’s money and estate after the events of the previous films, but she’d have to do something all day. Working? What? Where? How did she get away with being, what in essence, was a single mother all those years in that society, at that level class? Why did she let Henry go into the navy? Elizabeth’s characterization in this film, due to it being lacking, just raised a whole lot of questions about the implications of her whole situation.

Let’s go to Barbossa before we get to Carina. He wasn’t actually that badly characterized. I mean, they sort of went back and forth a bit. They portrayed him a bit like he was in the first film, then mixed in some of the fourth film. He was sometimes a blend of both. Which, while it’s problematic a bit because even in the fourth film when he was basking in the luxury of the upper class, when it came down to it he was still the pirate Captain Barbossa. The one in the first film. But sure. Let’s go with this mixing making sense. The thing was, he’d, at times, be absolutely one or the other. It was like you never knew which Barbossa you were going to get. Tame upper class Barbossa? Or pirate Barbossa? Or both? Who knew. It was like a really irritating game of Guess Who. Also his interactions with Jack are annoying. They’re like friends but then not. I mean, part of it makes sense for them. But after all the events of the previous films, it just doesn’t make sense for them to be... how they were. Not nearly as bad a characterization as it could have been, but parts just felt a bit odd. It kind of felt like that for the whole film though. Like they were simultaneously ignoring and not ignoring the previous four films. It was weird.

Now, I will say that I’d like to strangle the person who came up with the idea for THAT ending. I’ll say this once: Hector Barbossa does not die. We’ve already done this. Film One. Dead, then back to life at the end of film 2. I’d also like to add that we don’t see him die. Just the implication of it. So... make of that what you will. If they keep him dead then that’s stupid. If they bring him back that’s stupid too, because they’re now repeating himself, but at least it makes more sense. If he really is dead, then it is just extra stupid. His death was completely unnecessary. Salazar would have been washed off the anchor with the force of the sea and the others being forced down the chain above him. Barbossa’s death was a cheap way for them to show that he loved his daughter.

Speaking of his daughter, Carina was irritating. Since I’ve already said that I don’t like Kaya Scodelario already, let me make it clear I am doing this part without the bias of my dislike of her. In fact, I tried to make myself like Carina way more than anything because I knew I didn’t like the actress, so I wanted to make sure I wasn’t writing off a character due to my own opinion of the woman portraying her. So I’m rather annoyed to say I dislike Carina. I wanted to like her very badly. But Carina was irritating. She wasn’t charming. She was smart, which was nice, and she was supposed to be one of those ‘ahead of her time’ women. Actually, that bit was almost like the writers banging us on the head and yelling ‘HEY SHE’S AHEAD OF HER TIME.’ Like I get it. Chill. She’s one of the often seen, now almost cliche female characters in period pieces. It seems like female protagonists (or even just women that are supposed to be more important than super background characters) in period pieces have to be ‘ahead of their time’ to exist. It’s annoying, but let’s not go onto a feminism rant. The reason I don’t like Carina isn’t because she’s a cliche (which she is), but because she’s irritating. Most of the time. Not all the time, but enough of the time that it’s a problem. She’s just so narrow minded. And she is narrow minded, you can’t argue that. You can be smart and narrow minded. She has set beliefs and won’t listen, and openly mocks, others if they disagree. She thinks she’s better than everyone else. It’s irritating. Also the whole daughter things was painfully obvious. I mean right from the start it became a ‘ugh, great who are they going to make be her dad’ thing. I almost wondered if Poseidon or Salazar would be. I could go on and describe all the way Carina irritated me and why she wasn’t a good character, but I’d rather say the one thing that made me like her a little. Her one moment that makes me not say I hate her. Her one moment that is the reason I’m giving her a pass and not completely writing her off. When Barbossa realizes she’s his daughter. She was... real in that moment. Her character managed to become more human and less an arrogant, narrow minded, irritation. She had a history. Doesn’t excuse her for the previous mentioned traits, but that bit of characterization saved her for me. Oh, and I love Barbossa’s reaction to that. I think that entire scene may have been one of, if not the, best one in the film. Including the Jack bit at the end.

Now I do not like Kaya Scodelario. It’s nothing personal. I’m sure she’s a nice person. I don’t like her as an actress. Not sure why. I just don’t like her. I get that this might upset some people. I’d appreciate it if we could show some maturity and not come to my inbox to yell at me about it. You’re not going to change my mind. I don’t like her. Maybe it’s that I don’t think she’s a competent actress, or maybe it’s just her face. I truthfully don’t know what it is. There are very few celebrities that I actually truly dislike. She’s one of the few. I seriously have no idea why. I just kind of ignore her though, because whatever. I don’t like her, move on. I’m saying this because if in the future they make a potc 6 with her as a main character again, don’t expect me to be thrilled. As I said, I judged Carina completely separate from my dislike of her. Ms. Scodelario got a not that great character, and she did as much as she could with what she got. I dislike the actress separately from my dislike for the character. I’ve tagged this as “Kaya Scodelario hate” because I’ve been asked to do so before when posting something about me not being her biggest fan before. Again, please don’t come at me for this. I’m just putting it out there so it is clear that if it comes up again, my opinion is known. Don’t expect to see much of her on my blog.

Pintel and Ragetti. Yeah they weren’t in it. Kind of pissed about that. I actually liked them. They were funny. I mean the two that replaced them were Murtogg and Mullroy. Yeah, they were in the other films, but this felt like they are being stretched and converted into acting as Pintel and Ragetti. I mean I like Murtogg and Mullroy, but I liked them as them. You know? I also missed Pintel and Ragetti in this one. They could have been interesting in it. I understand that might have been a personal thing with the actors, but like that doesn’t mean Murtogg and Mullroy had to be... whatever they were. Plus, they weren’t that important in this film. Almost like it was decided that they were important enough to include because people like them but not enough to actually... do much more than exist and have some lines.

Gibbs. I don’t have a problem with his characterization. Might be a bit irritated that he was so willing to let Jack be executed considering their history and, oh, I don’t know, THE FACT IN THE PREVIOUS FILM JACK WENT TO LONDON AND OUT OF HIS WAY TO SAVE HIM FROM EXECUTION. Look, I get it. Gibbs could have been all too happy to agree to save Jack anyway, and just claimed it was only the money that did it. But? Just kind of seems lame to me. After all they’ve been through and such. I like him. I like his friendship with Jack. I think they could have done him a better justice in parts, but I don’t have too much of a problem with it. I’m choosing to believe he readily agreed to saving Jack and the money was a thin reasoning to do so. They’re pirates but they’re not heartless.

Everyone else: don’t really have a problem with it, or nothing to base one off of. I also can’t remember everyone. So, if you want a specific opinion on someone let me know. Send me an ask and I’ll be happy to answer.

Jack. OH. MY. GOD. I saved him for last because OHMYGOD. Buckle up fellas, we’ve got a lot to get through and I’ve got a lot of anger to explain.

I literally do not even know where to begin with this. I have an issue with every aspect of Jack’s characterization in this film. EVERY ASPECT. From his costume to his personality. By the way, let me first start off by saying that was not Captain Jack Sparrow that we saw. That was some impostor that sucks at being Captain Jack Sparrow. The only time we saw Jack was in the flashback (which can we please take a moment because HAHAHAHAHA what was that?! It felt like 20 minutes of back story. It was like a bad fanfic explaining an OC’s reasoning to be in the fic. (Salazar being the OC.) And as someone who has written a block of backstory in a fic like that [it was my first fic don’t judge, i’m better now] I just want to say what was that???). Flashback Jack was the highlight of the fucking film. I am telling you, if you’ve chosen to read this without seeing the film, then go see it just for young Jack. I mean, I’m pretty sure Jack was in his late teens or early twenties in that flashback. I totally understand how he got his reputation now. Like completely get it. That scene was the single greatest thing in the entire film. I loved it. It’s also so.. Jack. From how he talks, to how he acts, to explaining so many things about him. That moment, that scene is why I love these films. These films can be so good. Scenes like that are what remind me of that. In a few minutes (if that) we learn so much about Jack. I mean SO MUCH. If you want, I’ll make a separate post about that scene to explain it’s importance. But WOW. That scene is phenomenal. Well okay, I’m not a fan of the whole Salazar giving his is name ‘Sparrow’ because that’s... not accurate? I can’t remember exactly at the moment, but I read somewhere that if someone has sailed all the seas or something like that that they are a ‘sparrow’ or something. I can’t remember exactly, but like his last name had an explanation before. It might have been in the books. Not sure. Anyway, it’s just so tragic that flashback Jack is the only time Jack is Jack.

Now, present Jack is the issue here, so I’ll stop gushing over young Jack and focus on Why Present Jack Sucks So Very Much. Please note all this is disregarding Johnny Depp’s life events during the filming. Johnny Depp is a wonderful actor. He was still a wonderful actor in this film. He was Jack. He was just the Jack they told him to be. He got a wrong Jack. He made him come to life and it was, undoubtedly, a good performance. I never once did not believe he wasn’t his character. He was believable. This was not an acting thing. This was a character thing. A writing thing. A director thing. A producer thing. Whatever.

Let’s talk appearance first. He looked aged, but like it’s been some years and I’m pretty sure Jack is like in his 40s at the very least in canon at this point. So, sure aging is appropriate. I mean, if they wanted to they could have made him look younger, but then that would have been weird because he should have aged. If he hadn’t then we’d be like “did he get some kind of youth thing we don’t know about???” But the problem I had was, for the most part, Jack still looked like Jack, except for his hair. Which, if you didn’t notice, WAS BLONDE IN SOME AREAS. I have dark hair. No matter how much I’m in the sun, it does not go blonde. No matter how much I’m in the sea and sun, it does not go blonde. Jack’s hair might have turned grey, sure. But blonde? No. Unless Jack secretly makes sure to stop by a salon and have his hair done. I don’t think so, though. So there was that. I’ve made a post (read: rant) about his hair before, so I won’t go into it. The point is, Jack’s hair kind of ruined his physical Jack-ness.

Personality? Oh my god not even the same man. It’s cute how they were trying to go with ‘Jack loses his luck’ to show how desperate and lost Jack was that he traded his compass for rum. I mean they needed a reason for him to do that. Problem is, Jack doesn’t loose his luck. It just isn’t done. Also, for the record, Jack is equally luck and brains. It’s visible in the other films. He pays attention to things. He is aware of the layout of the room, of possibilities. Jack is a quick thinker. That’s like one of his main and strongest assets. His luck isn’t actually that much. It’s quick thinking. If his luck truly left him, he’d still be Jack. He’d still be fine. So this whole thing where he becomes this shell of himself, a desperate pathetic shadow of who he is, is utter bullshit.

Also, I’m mad how they portrayed him and rum. Jack is not an alcoholic. Does he drink? Yes. Does he drink a lot? Yes. Does he have self control and priorities? Yes. The last one is key. Also, Jack is used to rum. He can function perfectly well with some rum in him. He doesn’t need rum to survive, though. The thing with this film is they took the joking of Jack and his rum to unhealthy level. To Jack ruining his own plan to rob a bank. (also robbing banks? lame.) To Jack actually giving away THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO HIM (beside the Pearl) for RUM. Rum is so common. For Jack being so needing of rum that after that crazy and obviously magic curse induced ominous earthquake due to his compass that Jack would just... watch? No. Jack would have thrown the bottle of rum back at the bloke and grabbed his compass and ran out of there. He’s not an idiot. Jack likes rum. He loves rum. But his relationship with it in this film was out of character.

His compass just makes me so mad and I’m not even going to get into it. He wouldn’t have traded it. He wouldn’t have. I don’t care how low he was. He would not have traded it. That flashback showed us that for fucks sake.

Jack’s so out of character in this film it’s ridiculous. His reactions and interactions with everyone is absolutely not how they would have went. The only time he was correctly responding in character to something, that wasn’t in the flashback, was with Barbossa when his former first mate realized Carina was his daughter. Even that was sloppily done if I’m honest. I mean, it’ll pass. But that was about as in character as Jack was in present day.

Jack’s reactions to Elizabeth were SO INFURIATING I COULD HAVE SCREAMED. Actually I made this weird strangled noise in the back of my throat at one point. Jack and Elizabeth had this back and forth flirting thing that wasn’t serious. Elizabeth wasn’t ever going to go with Jack. Sure, in the beginning Jack would have slept with her if he’d had the chance, but even that could be argued as questionable by the end. After the events of the first three films, their relationship was more like harmless flirting. I don’t think, after At World’s End, Jack would have slept with Elizabeth. I mean, maybe after a few months or a year or so he would, but if at the end of the film Elizabeth had 100% seriously offered, I think Jack would have said no because it would have been weird. At that point Elizabeth was more like a friend, and dare I say little sister, to him. Jack and her had this silly flirty thing between them that meant nothing and both of them knew it. It’s why they kept doing it. Why Will and everyone else never batted an eye at it. It never would have gone anywhere. So to have Jack seriously act that way towards Elizabeth and Will and Elizabeth’s relationship is not realistic. I mean I get a joke or two. “Does Mommy ever ask about me” or whatever he said to Henry is cute and funny. One time. A single joke, because come on he had to. Sure. But he goes too far. He keeps on. He starts making it way too sexual. Jack wouldn’t do that. Let me clarify. Jack wouldn’t start saying those things to her fucking son. He just wouldn’t. AND HENRY DOESN’T REACT?! That’s his mother Jack is talking about. This just shows how this was a cheap joke. It was just a joke moment for Jack but it wasn’t funny. They took it too far. The thing is, that moment acted as characterization for Jack. And it was out of character. Jack would of course make a joke, but just one or two. A quick little quip. He wouldn’t make it so... sexual. That’s the problem. Jack turned it dirty. Far passed a silly joke. He wouldn’t do that. Jack doesn’t do that. This might sound weird to the casual view who doesn’t think much about the films or Jack. But think about it. Jack’s behavior isn’t saintly. It’s nowhere near it. But Jack isn’t a fucking monster either. Even how Jack reacts to Elizabeth in other times in the film is out of character. His reaction to seeing her at the end with Will? When he sees her it’s so sexual again. Sure, Jack would give her an appreciative once over, and he might roll his eyes and her and Will together, but he wouldn’t react to them, or her, like that. Throughout the whole film his behavior to Elizabeth is appalling because when it comes to Elizabeth especially, Jack is almost gentleman-like. No seriously. Rewatch the films. Not once did he treat Elizabeth like how this film had him do or imply the actions he’d take if he bumped into her again. Even when Jack was very drunk, alone on an island with her, and had reason to believe Elizabeth would be up for a tumble in a bit because she hadn’t had enough to drink yet but possibly would be up for it, Jack still treated her with, well, respect. He flirted. He pushed it a bit with what was really proper in the 1700s. But Jack NEVER touched her or acted like he does to her. Jack doesn’t even treat WHORES badly. I mean he’s not particularly gentleman-like with them, but he’s never actually abused a woman. He’s never done something (to our knowledge) without their permission. So to have him talk like that? It’s not Jack. They made Jack seriously act like that, and it was not Jack. I’d personally like to believe the reason Jack is so, for lack of a better word, gentleman-like with Elizabeth and generally decent to all woman, is that his upbringing. I feel like his dad had a lot to do with it. I can kind of imagine Jack having a very clear lesson and reiteration in how you do not treat a woman, why, and the consequences if his dad finds out he has (of course now that Jack’s an adult he doesn’t need the consequences as a threat, though it’s totally still valid). But whatever the reason of Jack’s treatment of women, it’s lacking in this film. 

Overall Jack is not Jack and it’s so obvious. It’s terrible that they did that to him. I know this is called Pirates of the Caribbean, and not Captain Jack Sparrow, but let’s be honest here. This is about Jack. So to change Jack so much? It’s ridiculous. I don’t know who that was, but it wasn’t our Jack.

Now, one character I didn’t mention before but would like to touch upon and provide some comments/thoughts because he’s kind of great? Uncle Jack. The entire thing with him was hilarious. I mean at the end it wasn’t. The ending of that bit sort of killed it. You know when there’s a running joke going on and one person says something to add to it or whatever and it ends up killing the joke? Yeah, Jack’s little note that got them back to the plot of him going to his execution did that. But before that the bit was hilarious. I also loved that we got confirmation that Jack’s dad can sing. I mean we all figured but we weren’t 100% sure, so it was great that we got that confirmation. Also, that Uncle Jack can sing. It’s like a low key family trait. Which is great. Can Jack sing? I mean we’ve only heard him sing when drunk or lightly murmuring. We’ve never heard him try. I bet he can. That just makes my day. Imagine it. Their entire family low key being known around the world as great singers. It’s just great. Also Uncle Jack’s existence is just great. Can you image the reunions? Imagine little Jack and him? Uncle Jack, probably his name sake, visiting him. I’m talking four year old Jack. Jack who looked at his dad in awe. Jack who wanted to be just like his dad. He loves when Uncle Jack visits. He gets to hear about the adventures he and his dad went on. Of the adventures (read: trouble) Uncle Jack got into. Eyes wide in awe. Little Jack vowing to be just as cool as his dad and Uncle Jack. It’s so cute. Jack’s family seems so close. Like sure they aren’t physically close, like they don’t see each other much. They sort of just run into each other. If one of them dies they’ll probably find out through the grapevine, but like they stick out for each other. 

So yeah. Overall it wasn’t a bad film. I mean I know this might not seem like it, but honestly it wasn’t terrible. If you’ve chosen to read this before watching the film, I’m telling you that you shouldn’t take this as a reason not to go see it. It wasn’t bad. It just wasn’t particularly good. Mostly I just pointed out the issues as to why it wasn’t good but not terrible. To a casual viewer I’d imagine it was decent to borderline good. It was kind of what I expected but also not. Like I didn’t think it would be very good, but hoped it would be good. I didn’t think the problems there would be were what they were, and the disappointment was in those problems. I think I could have dealt with the plot weakness if even Jack’s characterization was the only thing that was the right one. But overall, it wasn’t awful. 

So... I think that’s it? I had way more on the other version. Thanks, Tumblr. If I’ve not covered something on here that you want to know about, just send me an ask. I’m happy to give my opinion on anything if anyone so wishes for it (for some unfathomable reason). No hate please. I’m open to discussing (again, discussing. no hate) or explaining something I’ve said further if you want. I’m pretty sure there is a load more I should have covered and did in my original post but I’ve been writing this for like over five hours now. My brain’s a little fried at this point. 

To the person who asked me specifically to share my opinion of Dead Men Tell No Tales, I hope this is sort of what you were looking for? Again, don’t hesitate to send me an ask if you’ve got a specific question. I’m sure I meant to or did have it on here originally, and am sorry I didn’t include it in this. As I said, I’m more than happy to discuss this more and/or answer more questions!

What did you think of Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales?

[weekendwarriorblog]

ED’s Very Important Thoughts Regarding Wonder Woman

Not that you need more people to tell you what they thought of the latest collaboration between Warner Bros. and DC Entertainment, but I feel like I’m coming at this movie from at least a slightly different place from otehrs, as someone who a.) Actually reads comics yet b.) Can still watch a comic book movie semi-critically.

You see, many of the comic-reading fanboys out there will NEVER admit to being Wonder Woman fans before this movie was announced. Heck, many of them will never have picked up or read a Wonder Woman comic book, although some of the older ones might have watched the old television show. Me, I fall somewhere closer to the other side of comic readers where I have read Wonder Woman quite a bit over the years, particularly during the runs of George Perez, John Byrne and more recently, Greg Rucka, but she was never one of my favorite characters. Even the most recent run of the Wonder Woman comic as part of DC’s “Rebirth” I didn’t get around to reading them until it was many months into the run. (It’s fantastic, by the way!) Same can be said for the Lynda Carter television show; it was fine but I honestly remember very little about it, and therefore have very little sentimental connection.

But one of the things that really struck me about the character and stuck with me were my many friends who were HUGE Wonder Woman fans. One of them was Joanna Sandsmark—that last name might sound familiar if you’re a long time DC Comics reader—and another was the late Marc Wilkofsky—two people who truly loved Wonder Woman to the point where it played a prominent part in their personalities and lives and where I honestly can’t read or think of Wonder Woman without wondering what they might think of it. (There’s also some of the Wonder Women I’ve met since joining internet fandom in the nineties, including Elayne Riggs, Heidi McDonald and Patricia Mulvihill--an actual WW artist!)

But enough about me and my friends. Let’s talk about the actual movie..

You probably already know quite a bit about it, like the fact she’s played by Gal Gadot, and how she first appeared in last year’s Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, and how much everyone was really disappointed in that movie, other than her appaerance, and you probably were, as well. Wonder Woman is a chance to finally prove that the character has long deserved her own movie and that Gal Gadot is the right person to play her, just as director Patty Jenkins was born to make this movie.

Let me backtrack here, because I know literally nothing about Patty Jenkins other than the fact that she directed Charlize Theron to an Oscar for her earlier movie, Monster. I have no idea if she was a fan of the show or the comics or anything. All I know is that she hasn’t made a movie in over 13 years, so she has a lot to prove, not even taking into account the popularity of the character she’s taclking.

For the most part, her Wonder Woman starts out as a fairly straight-ahead superhero origin story, as we watch the younger Diana growing up on Themyscira surrounded solely by intelligent and skilled women with no men to ruin their peace or anything else.  We soon learn the origin of her people, the Amazons, as a fail-safe against the God of War, Ares, as Zeus keeps them hidden from him (and the outside world) on their island. That plan is going well until Diana has turned into a well-trained 20-something warrior woman, now played by Gal Gadot. A plane crashes in the sea off the shore of the island, carrying American spy Steve Trevor (Chris Pine), who is quickly followed by German forces, who immediately go to war with the Amazons, being the first men that most of them have ever seen. (If you’re wondering, how did all these men find this secret island of women so easily? Well, just think of the fact there weren’t many planes before then, nor were there sea vessels that could handle a rigorous and long trip at sea as they did during WWI.)

Once Diana goes with Steve with the intention of killing Aries, who is responsible for starting the war, there’s a danger of the movie turning into the world’s most expensive meet-cute rom-com with a bit of fish-out-of-water humor thrown in. Fortunately, Pine and Gadot are just so enjoyable to watch together, and they exude true chemistry in their scenes. Once the duo get back to England—odd that no one notices the giant Viking ship they take there—they immediately try to help the war efforts by revealing the master plot by German General Ludendorff (Danny Huston) and his disfigured genius scientist Dr. Maru (Elena Anaya).

The first act on Themyscira is probably the closest the movie gets to the “grrl power’ some might be expecting, but honestly, I’m not going to get into the “importance” of this movie, which is a load of hogwash. This is smart commerce, plain and simple. As far as Themyscira section goes, I was impressed by what Connie Nielsen and Robin Wright brought to the mix as Diana’s biggest influences, her mother Hippolyta and General Antiope. They immediately push Gadot to up her game leading into the rest of the film, in which she’s surrounded mostly by men. (I know some people/women love this section, but Themyscira is the least interesting part of the comics for me.)

The second part of the movie introduces a lot of great characters including the ever-present Etta Candy, played by Lucy Davis, as well as a trio of Trevor’s cohorts he convinces to go to the front lines, as Diana wants to take the fight directly to Ares, who she believes has taken over Ludendorff’s body 

For the most part, it’s a solid story (co-plotted by Zack Snyder, no less) and script by Allan Heinberg, who comes from the world of popular TV favorites like Gilmore Girls, Grey’s Anatomy and The O.C. More than any previous DCE movie, you can really feel the presence and influence of Geoff Johns in terms of the storytelling and writing, even though he’s not credited as a writer.

At first, I was a little dubious of the “man’s world’ portion being set during World War I, guaranteeing that few of the characters will be alive for any Wonder Woman movies set in the present day, including Justice League and potential sequels. Maybe setting that part of the movie in present day might make it even more like Captain America, too, but it actually works because World War I was considered the “war to end all wars,” being so massive compared to others, so it makes some sense for that being the first time Ares’ presence in the outside world would reach the Amazons.

Jenkins proves herself to be a highly skilled filmmaker, not just in the sense of superhero movies, but filmmaking in general, as she brings a similar sense of empathy and caring to the characters, as some of the better directors often do.  (And really, that’s what makes this Wonder Woman so different from the recent incarnations of Superman and Batman, she seems to seriously care about justice and helping those who need it.) But Jenkins (and Gadot) particularly excel in the action scenes, because when Wonder Woman first runs across the battlefields in her costume, you are immediately won over. (I have to give a LOT of credit to composer Rupert Gregson-Williams as well, who helps pull every emotion out of the more dramatic scenes, and yeah, I got teary-eyed more than once.)

For the most part, Wonder Woman is essentially a cross between Captain America: The First Avenger and Thor in terms of plot between the two-pronged nature of the intro and fish-out-of-water humor of the latter and the noble, heroic adventure of the former, as well as the romance angle   that worked so well in both.

That’s not to say it’s a movie without problems, because there is a somewhat schizophrenic tone in terms of trying to keep the humor going once it gets into the serious nature of war, but Jenkins is able to pull that off, as well. As far as the villains—which to me, is often the make or break on ANY superhero movie--they’ are, for the most part, the stock hand-wringing German villains ala Red Skull, at least until the last act, which I won’t spoil. (It gets very big, and I’m not sure it’s able to avoid some of the problems of other superhero movies that go too big after creating such an intimacy earlier, but the actor playing the film’s main villain Ares does his best to avoid that by being better at “going big.” That’s all I’ll say.)

I haven’t read any other reviews, especially none by women critics (can’t wait for Stephanie Zacharek’s!), but one issue that I’ll be surprised if it’s not addressed eventually  is the fact that the first woman superhero to get her own movie (Catwoman don’t count!) has to have a love interest and a romantic subplot to her story. Granted, that the whole Diana/Steve Trevor thing is a big part to the Wonder Woman mythos, but also, it sort of adds another crutch in terms of keeping women interested (not to mention the Chris Pine nudity, which women will love and won’t say a peep about how pandering it is.) Again, it’s not a huge deal, but anyone thinking of this movie as a show of “true female empowerment” will ignore those basic facts amidst the amazing and heroic things that Wonder Woman does otherwise.

Ultimately, the movie does work in terms of delivering enough of the action and excitement we expect from our favorite superhero movies, especially during the summer. It’s even more successful in terms of creating a definitive version of the Wonder Woman character for the big screen.

And yeah, while watching the movie, I was more than a little bummed my friend Marc Wilkofsky wasn’t around to finally see this movie come to fruition. He would have loved it.

Rating; 8 but veering towards 8.5 out of 10.

[elliewillicms]

Major Characters Review

I did minor characters in another post I  feel like only a small percentage will be agreeing with me on what I say in this one tbh

MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD

Poe Damnson

I don’t think you understand how much I love Poe I knew he was going to be an amazing character in the beggining of tfa  and when he was messing with hux. I Never stanned a man as great as that

He made a ur mom joke get u a freak like that 

Is it just me but I never got the idea in epsiode 7 Poe was a complete hothead who just shot shit and didn’t 100% listen like the idea of him being reckless is there and seen with being captured and escaping the first order and in 8 with him stalling and hoping not to get shot down but I never saw that was his entire personality and they focused a lot of time on it

Biggest m o o d is the okay relief he had when he realized finn and rose were alive and than when he saw bb8 it’s like they’ve been separated for months that’s q u a l i t y  c o n t e n t

and how every owner acts when they their see pet tbh

And listen Poe Dameron would never not listen to Leia Organa he respects her too much idk what they were thinking smh

But Oscar Isaac was amazing in every scene as he worked well with what he had so my complaints are few

@ JJ Abraham’s don’t be a coward and make Poe gay for fucks sake

In a world like this is it such a strange concept for someone to not be straight smh

Leia “men are her majority of problems”” Organa

I’m glad we got to see her use the force at least once but I felt due to the effects on the scene it looked sort of weird seeing her just floating back but i’ll take what I can get 

My heart literally stopped for a second when they destroyed the ship with her in it and I never felt happier knowing that she was okay tbh 

I’m really sad knowing we will never see the og on screen together I know their moving on to the new characters and stuff but I just find it disrespectful to fans in general

We all already knew Leia was an icon but she keeps besting with herself by getting out of a coma to shoot poe to knock some sense into him 

IT MAKES ME SO BITTER WE ONLY GOT ONE SCENE WITH LUKE AND LEIA

Like I wish we could have seen more development in their relationship as siblings seeing as it went to them finding out their related and than to episode 8

In this house we don’t say Han and Leia were bad parents they weren’t perfect but you know they care/cared for their son.Read the book bloodline I can’t say exactly but Leia was worried about Ben a lot when the truth of Darth Vader being her father came out to the galaxy.(Which she kept hidden for understandable reasons)

In loving memory of our princess,Carrie Fisher I wanted to cry

I’m honestly terrified they won’t do carrie and leia justice in epsiode 9 seeing as it will be her last time.But Carrie as did all the actors did amazing in their scenes

Finn sweetie I’m so sorry an ugly bitch like that would do that oh my god

FINN the main reason I was excited to see this movie and they disrespected the character and John so bad

Like he was a large part and a MAIN CHARACTER in episode 7 and than suddenly he’s a side character tf

They baited us with diversity and than sidelined the black main because they weren’t sure how to write the story that included him in the right way

Honestly I’ll say it there’s racism underline in all this because if Finn was a white guy he wouldn’t have been sideline at all like this in the movie or in promos/merch

If JJ Abram’s was the writer/director for this film he wouldn’t have put finn and John in an unimportant side plot as he was the one who advocated for John to have this role because what a surprise K*thleen Kennedy wanted to cast another white guy and kept refusing at first 

They gave the poc a plot that didn’t even help forward the narrative or really accomplish anything.Finn as a person didn’t develop at all which sucks with what he received compared to tfa who was amazing 

And we all know who Rian Johnson’s fave is and gave the most development....

Anyway I enjoyed what he had of him I suppose I hoped there would be more to his character I felt he developed the least out of all which is horrible and I hate the fact the friendship of Rey & Finn got really sidelined

He deserved beating phasma as she was trash to him

If you think about it him being at the casino was probably the first time he was ever anywhere that nice due to the fact it hasn’t been long since he escaped the first order

 it makes me sad we never see finn and luke interaction 

Luke “dramatic af “Skywalker

First thing he does is throw the lightsaber what a  m o o d

To be fair nothing good has ever come from that lightsaber so what an understandable reaction

I’m so bitter we barley had any reaction of him finding out about Han being dead and not really talking to Leia about it smh

The only time I saw I really saw og luke was when he saw r2 which was so pure

Listen I heard about the milking thing beforehand but I really wasn’t prepared for that shit like 99.9% sure he did that to fuck with Rey he was enjoying that too much

Honestly Rian mistreated his character so bad I can’t even comprehend it into words first of tell me why would Luke try and kill his nephew after his father was on the dark side and fought to bring him back even though the chances were low he still tried and succeed.Killing Ben would not have been his first reaction to solving the problem as he didn’t even turn completely yet.

Yoda was unnesscary to the plot and only used him because he was cheaper than anakin or obi wan who would have showed up to solve the bs

Luke getting shot at repeatedly as the smoke clears he just dust himself up as he we see Kylo get even more pissed at him poetic cinema 

But than it was ruined with the unnecessary death I’m sure but somewhat hoping we will see a force ghost but seriously it was stupid and lazy writing and we barley got anything of this older and more experienced Luke and it’s sad knowing with the inevitable ending of Leia the Skywalker family the building of this franchise is gone

Kylo “he may have been manipulated at first but he’s a grown ass man who can make his own bad decisons” Ren

I’m very iffy on this character I wouldn’t say I like him but hate is too strong of a word but I do like how Adam portrays him so...

I felt sympathy at small moments but than it’s ruined when he goes on muderous rampages... 

Mainly due to how Adam plays conflicted good and it’s sad how Leia and Han two people who fought for the galaxy their kid turned out like this 

What I like about this character which isn’t a lot is that they stick with the fact he isn’t a hero and a somewhat interesting villain and that will be ruined if they redeem him because it doesn’t fit his past actions.

The character snoke was wasted like who tf was he and why was he so powerful and important

Only good thing Kylo did was kill him tbh

Listen I’m not a reylo shipper but their scenes were not super bad I actually like the idea of them falling into the middle of agreement as they couldn’t be on the same side but sort of neutral terms but kylo fucked  that up and Rey is possibly back to hating him which to me is the god tier ending and the later just okay.

At this point Kylo is blaming everything on everyone else in reality he’s the one causing damage to his self and everyone else (like he cares)

And I really don’t understand how people ship reylo ship what you want whatever but they literally disagree on everything,torture,fought etc. and kylo told her she was nothing and Rey called him a monster a shit ton of times so... idk it doesn’t fit with how they responded to each other

I have a lot of thoughts right now and mixed feelings on this character but listen I like him as a conflicted villain that could become a complete villain not a conflicted hero because it doesn’t work well that way I guess I could accept a Darth Vader yeah I fucked up a lot which led to my death but I can accept that  but no the he just joins the hero’s bs 

Rey that’s pretty disappointing tbh

One of the problems people had with Rey in 7 she was pretty well off in using the force with no experience

And we literally got nothing they built that up and we got no answers for why she does.

I somewhat like the idea of her parents just being nobodies it’s sad but at the same time it doesn’t fit with what was expected to get

Maybe one of her parents actually had some force abilities idk I doubt they will ever get into that

Also the possibility kylo is lying as he wouldn’t be the most truthworthy person to be making that revelation

The scene where Rey thinks she’s touching the force I love her so much

I thought we would get more Jedi training

Rey and Finn friendship erasure is gross

Her smile when she met poe was n i c e and can’t wait to see more interaction with them

I am confusion how she went to calling kylo a monster to calling him Ben so quick

Y i k e s to the unnesscary shirtless scene and Rey commenting on it

Enjoyed her more as a character in this one idk why but she certainly had character growth