#have keys and it went and hid them. no the keys exist they’re just hiding!! where? it hid them! the darkness!! the one that makes me bleed!

[edge-oftheworld]

a darkness that holds me and loves when I bleed, it locks all the doors and it hides all the keys is an excellent line let’s not forget it already!

[audreyscribes]

Ω PJO DEMIGOD HEADCANONS: 🕳 TARTARUS: PRIMORDIAL OF DEEP ABYSS 💫

Author’s note: *put head into hands* Alright, so I may or may not have went off from the usual formula (Do I even have a formula for writing these at this point?) and I think I may have made the primordial demigods here more cryptid cause they’re the literal by-product of primordial beings that are also half-mortal? I won’t be including the usual blurbs at the ending cause all of them are probably pushing the word limit Tumblr has but worry not, I made up for it by putting more storylines into the whole thing. PRIMORDIAL DEMIGODS MASTERLIST: [LINK]

You came into existence when a human woman fell into Tartarus. Her name forgotten in the depths of Tartarus, but you remember enough of her hands cradling you, her face as you felt her face. You were born out of curiosity for why the gods loved mingling with humans. While Tartarus is very arrogant and had a disdain for lower beings then the primordials themselves, he tolerates you as you are a part of himself and raised you in Tartarus where the passage of time was slow and nigh at times, yet passed all the same.

During your time in Tartarus, you became acquainted with Nyx, Nemesis, Hypnos, amongst many others.

 You thought this was how you would spend your time forever, until the Doors of Death were forcibly opened by Gaea. You looked up at her in curiosity and respect before she gently scooped you up and took you out with Tartarus bidding farewell to you. 

Gaea sheltered you as she helped you gather a proper form, nurtured you and as you learned how to speak, as you reached some semblance as a demigod. It took some time to get used to the world above, and you hid numerous times into Gaea’s patient hands from the light and the vast of it all. You were only soothed over that the Day was Hemera herself, and Nyx and Erebus would soon come. It was only after Gaea’s awakening and defeat did you walk the Earth, sustained by Gaea herself and her riches. Until the promised day when you felt the Earth shake and crack, as you felt your other kin; where you met the child of Gaea and helped care and nurture them just as Gaea did for you. 

You could feel the Gaea demigod’s anger broiling more and more as you told the tales of your journey, before telling you they wanted to take revenge against the Gods and their heroes for what they did to Gaea. You grew up in the depths of Tartarus where monsters and those unredeemable were condemned to, so you had no preference on what was truly right nor wrong. So you agreed to accompany them on their vendetta, if not anything to repay Gaea for taking you out of Tartarus and nurturing you as one of her own. Together, you helped the child of Gaea as you searched for the other primordials’ children as you were not alone. 

Being a child of Tartarus, you have the ability to instill great fear from your surroundings and darkness of the deepest darkest void. Your command of darkness is different from a child of Hades, as this powers allow you to sink into the depths of darkness, almost swallowing everything around in it, where not even light can penetrate through. You can blanket yourself and those of your own choosing as a sort of security but be careful because your power also connects itself to Tartarus. Stray too far and the monsters lurking in the darkness may try to bite you. 

Speaking of monsters, you also have the ability to command the monsters to your command to some certain extent. It’s not an autonomous command but monsters are more inclined to hear you out then anything. Some will follow your command like the Empoussai, while some will only follow if they deem you powerful and worthy enough. Once you start gathering more to follow your will, you can call upon them to your aid or let them hide in your depths, to be called upon when the time is right. 

A key feature about you being a child of Tartarus is that if someone peers into your eyes closely, they can see the endless depth in your eyes where light doesn’t seem to penetrate. If anyone asks, you just have really dark eyes. It takes a bit of effort, but when you swallow something, it’ll disappear into an empty pit that is also somewhat like Tartarus. Great if you accidentally swallow gum though.

[hoaqins-funk-house]

Springtrap

Yandere

Male Reader

You can read part 1 here 

You can read part 2 here

Part 3; Finale

Spinning your keys around your finger, you go to slip them into the backdoor's lock, finding that turning it was difficult. 

Far too difficult.

"Did someone break in?" You mutter, pulling the key out and beginning the walk around to the other entrance. "Well, if they did I doubt they'd stay long, not with William there."

Entering through the front, you look around the dark establishment, trying to spot if anything had been stolen or otherwise interacted with violently. With a sigh of relief at the sight of everything being normal, you fully step in, making your way through the building and wondering with a disgusted expression how William was able to walk through this place barefoot.

Turning the corner that allowed you to look into the window of your office, you see your golden-green companion looking at the door with his head tilted, an unrecognizable expression on his face.

"Yeah, the lock's broken for whatever reason." You say, his gaze shifting before his face does.

"Mhm." He walks towards you, stopping a few meters away. "Say, have you thought about me very much?"

Caught off guard by the question, you tilt your head. "Huh?"

"My existence. How I came to be trapped in a suit." He elaborates.

"Not really, to be honest… why?"

He looks into the office window, eyeing that tablet. "The suit, being an original model, incorporated these little devices known as springlocks."

Your brows furrow. You only knew of Springbonnie and Fredbear from random things online, so the inner workings of them was completely unknown to you. 

"The reason why they're called suits; the springlocks pushed back all the little bits of animatronic things that filled them, thus allowing them to be worn by employees. I, as you can tell, was one of them." His gaze shifts back to you. "However, I wasn't when I was subjected to my slow death."

He takes one small step towards you. "It was in a room known as the saferoom- ironic, isn't it- which was invisible to both cameras and the animatronics that walked around."

His lips twitch up. "I hid in there, waiting for them to come near me. When they did, I broke them. They all came, and all of their shells were destroyed."

Shells? Destroying the animatronics?

You watch as he takes another step forward, this one larger. 

"But, the ones inside those shells weren't so easily deterred."

Ones inside…? 

"They chased me. Forced me into hiding in the suit. They wanted revenge; wanted me dead."

He takes a few larger steps, now within arms length. You, however, grow uneasy, stepping back. His eyes stay locked with yours, a soft grin on his lips. 

You truly do look like his prey.

"I don't blame them. After all, who wouldn't want their murderer dead?" 

Your eyes widen as your suspicions are proven correct. When he takes a step forward, you do the same in reverse. If you look away for one moment, he'll catch you. You've seen his speed.

His eyes glow in the dim light, lips curling into a nightmarishly wide grin.

"Oh, it seems you've figured out my big secret. Does it change your view of me? Would you still wake up on top of me so calmly?" He laughs. "Would you still let me rest my head on your hand? Would you still so easily approach me?"

You were wrong last night. Dead wrong.

He's terrifyingly monstrous, even as a human.

"Well, I suppose my last question has already been answered." With a small chuckle, he jolts forward, you ducking to the side right before he could reach you and dashing off. He glances your way during his brief pause, expression horrifyingly giddy.

 His steps are loud behind you, and you only manage to reach cam 6 before arms cage you in against the wall, you turning to face the grinning man as you push yourself up against the wall as if trying to force yourself through it.

He lifts his hand, placing it on your chin and using his thumb to brush over your cheek. "You're too adorable. You really are like… my prey."

God, the fear in your eyes…

His grin widens a bit more, and his hand slips to the front of your chin. You clench your eyes shut, hearing a gruff laugh before his chapped lips connect with your own. You tense, feeling his other hand grip your wrist, applying more and more pressure until you let out a pained noise, him taking the chance to slip his tongue into your mouth.

Your eyes stay shut until he finally separates, where you reluctantly open them once more, finding a very satisfied-looking William and a small string of saliva temporarily connecting your tongues. "Don't worry. It's not the end of us after just that." He assures.

The hand previously on your chin shifts to your hip, where his fingers press somewhat harshly against the cloth, holding you in place further. Leaning in once more, he grins at the tiny whimper that escapes you. Redirecting himself, he instead aims for a much more sensitive area.

You let out a gasp as you feel his lips against your neck, quietly hissing as he harshly bites down, his sharp canines drawing blood. After he has his fill of that, he follows it up by sucking on the spots he had just bit, you feeling your heartrate pick up even more. 

The sound of your heavy, stuttering breaths in his ear certainly doesn’t discourage the man.

Still, he leans back, enjoying the sight of your reddened face as you reach up, covering your neck with your free hand. This, of course, wouldn’t be the end, but he needs to save the rest for later. 

He steps back.

His grip on your wrist, while looser than before, is still firm as he begins to walk you back to the hall in front of the office. "Now, I have a little game for us to play. We've done it before, so I won't explain the rules. If you make it to 6, I'll let you leave. But if you don't…" He pauses, glancing over his shoulder at your panicked face, which he responds to with a smile. "Well, I'm sure you can guess."

Standing in front of the entrance to the office, he waits for you to hesitantly enter. 

"As usual, I'll start in the back. Don't even try to escape, it's not gonna work. I broke the lock and that door isn't going to be breaking from anything but power tools."

You give a small nod, eyes shifting to the chair.

"Well, good luck. You'll most definitely need it." 

You don't react to his voice, walking towards the chair as he begins his walk back. 

You turn on your phone, checking the time and finding that fifteen minutes have already passed. 

You can't call for help, if anyone came in they'd be killed by him. If he lived through an endoskeleton being shoved into him, he'll live through pretty much anything.

Still, you text your brother quickly.

You put your phone down, not caring about the wave of notifications that came from him spamming trying to get you to respond.

Pulling the camera pad out, you switch to where he normally starts right as he walks in. He sends a chilling smile up at the camera, eyes eerily glowing within the shadows. 

"Let's begin!" He calls. 

Immediately, your eyes widen as he reaches up, ripping the camera right off of the wall.

You feel your breathing pick up again as your heart pounds out of your chest. 

You aren't going to make it. 

When he dashes into the next room, you lead him back. He snarls. Briefly, before cam 10 gets ripped off of the wall, you see him glance at the vent.

Thankfully, he ignores it, running into the next room before you hit him with the sound again, rebooting audio and cameras tight as they go out. 

"Fuck that guy for making this shit so 'authentic' it breaks down every two seconds!" You mumble to yourself. 

William tears cam 8 down, running out once more. When you manage to catch him, he's in cam 4, and you lead him back with more audio. 

"You won't keep this up, you know! You'll run out of cameras!" He laughs, the sound echoing in the building.

You frown as cam 5 goes out. You lead him back further, hearing the thumping of the vents and quickly switching your cameras to them, sealing off a vent thankfully just in time. His grin drops.

You check the time. 

It's 2. 

5 of 10 cameras have already been torn down, and you are unable to play audio from them.

He gets out of the vent surprisingly quickly, continuing his race to you. 

When he reaches another vent, you block it off before he reaches the end. He rips off a camera that you haven't even used yet upon getting out. As soon as he sees cam 3, he rips it off as well.

You see the first sparks.

You lead him back again, he charges again. 

The cameras start it.

You lead him back again, he charges again.

Soon enough the back half of the building is in flames, swallowing everything and coming for you faster than William could.

You have nowhere to lead him to but right outside your door, and he disappears. 

Completely. 

Not in any cameras, not in any vents, and not in your vision.

The smoke began to pile into your room, so you rip off a sleeve of an old jacket that was left and tie it around your nose and mouth, getting out of your chair to stay lower to the ground.

Frantically, you switch through everything again, continuing to look for him, but turning your head to the sound of a grate both thrown aside. 

He went through the break room.

There, you meet eyes with William, who seems to be doing just fine in the intense heat that fills the attraction.

You quietly gasp, grabbing your throat as smoke fills it even with the makeshift cover. You wince, ripping the cloth off, finding William about three meters from your office. Frantically, you reach towards the vent close button, but when you press it, you hear the sound of failing machinery.

It was broken. 

He broke it the first night, and now you would die because of it.

Blindly grasping for your phone, you send another message to your brother.

'Get fire help' is all you could type out before William pins you to the ground, you barely managing to send it. 

Grabbing your phone out of your hand, William carelessly throws it into the wall, you wincing at the crunching noise. 

"You know, back when I was alive, I did much research on souls. Every soul contains this little thing known as 'Remnant.' Now, Remnant is the only reason I'm alive. There's no way to destroy it, except for fire."

Your eyes widen. 

"This building won't get hot enough to completely destroy our Remnant, so don't worry about that. Still, think of it like a metal. When it gets hot enough, it melts. It can meld into other people's Remnant."

You clench your teeth.

"Of course, there's no way I am going to destroy you. So, instead, I think I'll go with another option." He smirks. 

You can feel your vision get hazy.

"Within this fire I will preserve your warmth, and we will be welded together."

Your lids droop as you feel your breaths become raspy. 

You're going to die to the smoke, not to the fire that roared outside of your office, slowly inching its way in. 

You let out a few more wheezes, feeling lips against your own before your vision goes black.

-

He gets the news less than an hour after he calls the fire department.

His brother, the only immediate family he had left, had died in the fire. 

It doesn't take much thinking to figure out who did it. 

William. 

That man, that murderer, is going to pay.

However long it takes.

-----

i did not plan this out right this part is a lot shorter than it should be but ehh whatever

whoop whoop it is done… I mean I have a sequel planned but either way, this part of the story is done

See ya later :)

[thisnoodlewritesao3]

When He Saw You | Tsukishima Kei/Reader

Okay, so this is a little cringe-y but I love it. I kinda want to know whether I should turn it into a more fulfilled story or if I should just leave it as is - let me know!

This has been cross-posted on my AO3 (for more stories, check me out, ThisNoodleWrites

Characters: Tsukishima Kei, Reader, Yamaguchi Tadashi, Haiba Lev, Kuroo Tetsuro, Bokuto Koutarou

Word Count: 2199

Warnings: none other than fluff

Summary: Kei had never been interested in someone before, let alone a girl. Until he saw you.

---------

When Kei first saw you, you were yelling thank you at Lev Haiba, he had caught you by your bag just as you came tumbling to the ground because of the weight of your bags. There was such a size difference between you that it was funny, next to him you looked like a child on your first day of school. Awe-struck and mouth agape as you looked around at everyone, stabilizing yourself by spreading your legs a little wider. When he first saw you his heart fluttered for the first time.

From what he could hear, you were from the photography club and had asked to come along and take pictures for your assignment, promising to make posters promoting every school's volleyball club. They had excitedly agreed to let you come along to the training camp.

He was busy talking to Yamaguchi when you appeared beside them, quickly snapping shots of them. They both looked at you a little shocked and you burst into an explanation, “I’m just taking ones that you can keep for memories or something! I can delete them if you want.” Throughout your whole speech you had your eyes closed.

You opened your eyes and looked at him with a gentle blush dusting your cheeks, mouth agape. He looked away from you and rubbed his face with the back of his hand, trying to hide the redness on his cheeks.

“L/N F/N.” You shot out your hand introducing yourself in a quiet voice. Were you actually nervous or was he just imagining it? He took your hand, noting the differences between them, his calloused hands relished in the softness of your skin.

“Tsukishima Kei.” He replied. The two of you stood holding your hands, pulling back as Yamaguchi cleared his throat and introduced himself.

You bit your lip as you looked around, ushering them to follow you as you positioned them in front of a cliff, the sun shining low in the sky and giving them an angelic glow. The shutters went, capturing the moment and Kei’s heart. There was an intense passion in your eyes that sparked a fire in him. Your eyes lingered on the pictures before running over to them.

Like a puppy showing off her new toy, you scrolled through the pictures, explaining your thought process to them - no, to him, you only briefly glanced at Yamaguchi, but your eyes would shoot back to Kei with such persistence.

Oh, how he would fall for you piece by piece without either of you being aware.

________________________________

The second time Kei saw you was the second day of training. As balls flew around the court, so did you, expertly dodging and dipping with ease, snapping shots of each team during intense moments of action. You were wearing a black tennis skirt, knee high socks partially covered by black knee pads so you could keep up with them without damaging yourself. A plain white t-shirt and a black jacket covered the majority of your upper half, but your sleeves were rolled up. Only a few times did you stop at the sidelines to grab a drink.

He couldn’t get enough of you, making sure to give it his all when rolled over to their side. You adjusted the settings on your camera, swerving out of the way just in time as a ball came flying at you. Every time you took a picture for a different team, you would swap the cards and swoop in just at the right moment. It was like you knew what was going to happen.

When they had to do sprints to the top of the hill, you were waiting at the top, capturing the moment once again. Cheering them on.

At some point you had disappeared leaving behind an emptiness in Kei’s heart that he didn’t know was possible.

Little did he know, you would return later in the day to capture some of the training. A sadness swelled in your heart when you couldn’t see him but you brushed it off and kept doing what you came here to do.

The whole time you knew they were putting in just a little extra effort because you were there, it was nice but you couldn’t help the small frown on your lips.

When you were walking back towards your room, you caught sight of Kei coming out of the bathroom, his hair just a little wet and making you blush. He turned and saw you staring, blushing again. You just waved before running off.

He wished he could tell what you were thinking. You didn’t act like this in front of anyone else, from what he could see, so why him of all people?

The next day when Kuroo and Bokuto stopped to ask him to help them with blocking, you were the first thought on his mind. He bit the bullet and asked Kuroo, “is L/N always so shy with new people?”

It was such a strange question that it caught Kuroo off guard, but the older man chuckled and shrugged. Lev was the one to speak up considering he was in your class, “you mean F/N?” Kei nodded. “No, she’s always super outgoing. She terrified Kenma when he first met her.” Lev laughed at the memory.

“Oh.” That was the only thing he could manage to say.

“Why? Is she acting shy with you?” Lev tilted his head.

Kei went to speak but he was stopped by a soft voice, “I don’t think I’m acting shy.” He was surprised to see you grinning behind him. “If you’re going to practice with them, can I get some shots?” You waved your camera and he quickly agreed.

The practice session was cut short when Kuroo made a comment comparing Kei and Hinata; it made him feel such shame, he had everything that Hinata and yet he could never seem to be better than the shrimp.

He stormed away from the group. Worry painted your face as you followed him out, managing to keep his pace as he stormed back towards his room. You didn’t dare speak - you weren’t scared, just worried that you might upset him more.

When he turned around, realising that he had forgotten his knee pads, you followed. He wasn’t annoyed by your presence, quite the opposite actually, but he couldn’t help the glare that formed in his eyes. You hummed to yourself, never getting more than two paces behind him before you jogged back to his side. Even when he put on his headphones you didn’t get offended, only slipped on yours and smiled.

He was thankful for your company even if he didn’t say it.

________________________________

The next time Kei saw you was different. You weren’t wearing your typical clothes that gave you the advantage of moving with them at an alarming speed, you were sitting in the common room wrapped in a blanket, stretching your back and sighing. The only source of light was your laptop; so this is why you normally looked tired, you’d stay up late editing the photos. Your head swayed with the music, full concentration.

Kei walked up to you, almost nervous at being alone with you. “You really shouldn’t stay up this late.” He lifted one of your headphones off your head and caused you to squeal. He smirked at the noise and released it, smacking against your head.

“You’re one to talk, at least I have something to do this late.” You sighed and pushed off your headphones, pausing the music that blasted out of them.

“No comment.” He retorted and pulled up a chair next to you.

You sat in silence for a moment, flicking through pictures until you reached the Karasuno team. You turned your laptop to face him, “can you spare me, like, 10 minutes of your time?”

“Obviously not, can’t you see how busy I am.” Sarcasm dripped from his tongue and you laughed.

“Oh, so sorry, I guess I’ll just keep all the embarrassing photos of you.”

He forced the laptop back in front of him, flicking through the pictures at a vicious rate. You had them all filed and labelled, it was funny considering how aloof and clumsy you were without that handy camera of yours. He cringed at the photos of himself, to him they were all terrible. He wanted to delete them all. He landed on one of him blocking a ball, something about the determination in his eyes made your heart twinge until he moved to delete it.

“Nope!” You snatched it away from him.

“How could you take good pictures of everyone else?” Kei sighed, not bothering to try and snatch it back.

“What do you mean?” You tilted your head and gently put the laptop back on the table.

“I just look so…”

“Stupid?”

“That’s bullying.”

“It would be bullying if I meant it,” you shrugged and scrolled through some of the pictures, eventually landing the one you’d taken when you first met him - before you’d posed him, before you’d even said hello, just acting on your own accord - you smiled at it, turning the laptop back to him, “this is my favourite picture.” Kei blushed. He looked neither good nor bad, there was nothing amazing about it, it was just his face along with Yamaguchi’s, so why would that be your favourite? “Everyone always gets so animated when there’s a camera around, even if they don’t know it, they’re stiff. But you knew and yet you were so calm, relaxed, it was nice. I could have not been there and the only difference would be that this picture wouldn’t exist.” You pointed out, something twinkling in your eyes that he couldn’t place.

“That’s pretty cringe-y.” He hid his excitement, laughing at your mock pain.

“You’re pretty,” you paused, trying to gauge his reaction. His eyes were wide, pupils dilated to the max, he was flushed completely red. He choked in response to the sudden compliment.

“I- uh… I better go to bed.” Kei stood up quickly, hoping you couldn’t hear how his heart pounded in his chest. “And so should you.”

You saluted him, shutting off your laptop and packing up your things, “aye aye, captain.”

He walked away, the wind knocked from his lungs.

You were a mystery to him. And, luckily for you, he loved mysteries.

________________________________

When Kei last saw you, they were getting ready to head back home on the coach. You’d pulled everyone in together for a group picture, despite some disagreements, you managed to snag the picture and cheered loudly.

You ran around, saying your goodbyes to everyone who wasn’t in Nekoma, saving Kei and Yamaguchi for last. There was a nervousness on your face as you approached the two. You greeted Yamaguchi, who started heading towards the coach, leaving you and Kei.

There was a comfortable silence until you finally met his eyes, “could I have your number and/or email?” You asked. He was taken aback by your sudden confidence.

“W-why?” He stuttered.

“Well, mostly so I can send you the photos for Karasuno, you seemed like the most reliable, but if you don’t want to I can just go ask-” you turned around and looked towards Daichi, but Kei called out to stop you.

“You can have them.” He blurted, hiding his excitement with a soft smirk.

“Oh! Thank you,” you pulled out your phone and swapped details with him.

“What did you mean by mostly?”

“Hmm?” You tilted your head in confusion.

“Don’t play dumb.” He rolled his eyes and you scratched the back of your head, laughing.

“You got me.” You shuffled your feet. “It was mostly so I could send you the picture and partly because…” you paused, meeting his eyes again, “because I want to talk to you more.”

Kei blushed again, nodding. Somehow you always made him feel like a school-boy with his first crush. He never knew the right words to say to you; over and over again he wracked his brain trying to figure out your motives. It hadn’t crossed his mind that you simply didn’t have any.

“I see.”

“With those glasses, I’m sure you do.” You laughed when he shot you a soft glare.

“I’m not very good at replying.” He admitted, although it was only a half truth, he rarely received messages from people so he had no reason to reply.

“I’m not very good at not spam messaging, so you better reply.”

“Are you always this annoying?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know.”

“I would, actually.”

Now it was your turn to blush before quickly retorting, “learn how to reply fast and you might just find out.”

His teammates calling out his name pulled him from your conversation, he sighed and waved goodbye to you. He was almost sad until you waved with such joy that his heart grew warm.

________________________________

When he first saw you, he thought he’d only get the chance to admire you from afar. And while that was almost true, you’d been admiring him too. He’d never been more happy to have his picture taken right alongside his heart. For his little photographer, he was thankful.

[miioouu]

dare or extreme dare

So i saw this on @todobakus-doll blog, and um i couldn’t help myself! 

Warning: smut, characters are 18+...

    Some nights were spent alone, others are spent together. And well tonight is the latter. The whole dekusquad and bakusquad were having a game night. It wasn't rare for the two friend groups to have nights together, despite a certain blond attitude on the matter. But in reality, he wasn't doing it for himself, or his friends, he was doing it for his boyfriend. He knew how much it meant for Shoto that he gets along with his friends, even a little bit. It always makes him happy and proud, he wasn't one to show emotions but when it's the two of them, the way his cold hand runs through untamable curly hair, Bakugou could tell, feel the love. Well in all honesty, it's not just the two of them, when he feels soft lips pressing on his cheek, smaller body curling in his side, his eyes looking down at yours, his world felt complete. But that's beside the point, tonight he came to win. Spin the bottle, cards, whatever electric boy and alien girl prepared for tonight he will win.

      Both of the boys were a bit sad that you're not a part of the game, but they knew that you had university entrance exams you need to study for, so they didn't pressure you. Anyway, the night was going great, laughs and jokes filling the room, soft music playing, not too loud to disturb the other students but just enough so they can feel it flow through their body. Intense glances being exchanged between the lovers, yet keeping it low key, no one needs to find out about them. Finally, they all agreed on a game. While the usual party game was truth and dare, not for them. Dare and extreme dare. When you either show how weak you are, or how fearless you can be. When already inappropriate dares turn to the extreme. When worrying dares turn to dangerous ones. To make the game even more interesting, they went into pairs. Iida and Kaminari, Mina and Ochako, Kirishima and Deku, Sero and Tsuyu, and unfortunately, Todoroki and Bakugou. While it's not really that big of a deal to be paired together, they knew how dirty and naughty these games always turn out, and well, they just don't want to give it away.

     Few turns already passed, and to say that the group were being extra with their dares tonight is such an understatement. Deku almost fell to his death. Sero will for sure be sick for the next few days. Iida, is still shaking from doing something so immoral. And now it's the secret couple's turn. Eyes darting from one another, the other members of the group. It really must be their unlucky day, Denki was the one to give then the dare. Every second passing, the mischief in the electric boy's eyes intensifying, making the two other boys nervous, anxious for what's coming. Hearing soft steps getting closer, it's like you can see the light bulb illuminating above Kaminari's head "Ok so dare, kiss the next person who enters the room in their cheek. Extreme, make out for them for one whole minute!" Oohs and ahs filling the room, the two antisocial boys complaining and groaning until they saw you poking out of the door. Sweet smile on your face, rosy cheeks from interrupting them, but that's not what their attention was on. Short shorts exposing your legs, smooth and so appealing. Light, thin silky shirt, if they focus really good, they can make out the outline of your nipples making their mouth water, their mind go wild and with hesitation, both of them in unison "Extreme" and they ran to you.

     Quicker, the dual boy was the first to reach you. Hands caressing up and down your bare arms, cold sending shivers down your spine. You didn't even have time to question his behavior before he pressed his lips to yours. Slow at first but when your hands gripped on his shoulder, nails digging into his flesh trying to push him away, rationalize with him, the mood around you changed. His tongue swiping at your bottom lip and when you denied him access, he didn't hesitate to loop his arm around you. Cold, freezing fingers traveling up your naked thigh, pushing up your shorts and punching at the soft skin of your ass. Gasping from the shock, from embarrassment, you didn't realize that you granted him his wish. Tongue wasting no time, diving in your mouth and exploring the wet cavern. You could feel the others staring at you. Their eyes glued on your form, burning holes into your very soul. Unease taking over you, but with his hand still massaging your behind, his wet muscle down your throat, there's other feelings you're more worried about.

     "Alright, minute's done. My turn now!" The angry blond shoving Todoroki aside only to replace him. Confused and puzzled, what are they talking about? But just like before, your mouth opened to demand answers only to be shut with chapped lips colliding with yours. The taste of alcohol traveling from his mouth to yours, making your head dizzy. Or is it the lack of oxygen? His hands roaming over your form, tracing every curve, every part that you're so insecure about, in his eyes you're nothing less than perfection. Like your body has a mind of its own, your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer, fingers locking in his untamable hair. Pulling and yanking at them, earning you a hiss, a tightening of his grip around your waist. This action made you moan, low and erotic, being swallowed by his mouth. What happened to the usual shy and quite y/n? Letting herself go in front of everyone, almost letting the secret slip. With a man devouring her and her eyes, bright, begging another.

      The rest of the group didn't even know what to do. Stop you? That didn't seem like a good option, especially not when Bakugou seemed to drag you out of the room, your hand intertwined with Shoto's pulling him with you. It's just you three fooling around, nothing to look too deeply into. Or that's what they thought.... Out of sight and in your bedroom now, air felt heavy, it's hard to breathe. Embarrassment taking over you. Cheeks red, your teeth nibbling at your already swollen bottom lip, folded over yourself trying to hide from them. If you thought that this will make the boys slow down and explain what's happening, you're wrong. It only added to the fire boiling in their blood, eager to see you burn in lust with them. Step after step, they're getting closer. Slowly, like fierce animals hunting their teeny tiny prey, you. And it's not like you can back away, you're already pressed to the wall. Two hands catching your wrist, pulling you off the wall, just enough for another body to slip in. Your chest pressed against a much harder, muscular one, your eyes staring into heterochromatic ones. Your back leaning on an also tough torso, but that was the least of your worries. Your ass, there was something hard poking it. Bakugou's bulge straining his jeans and the protrusive fabric rubbing against your technically naked skin. Shoto's mouth found yours again. Gentle but not too much. Rough but just the right amount. His kiss making you melt from love and fire up in lust. And to make you blaze even more, Katsuki's teeth sinking and indenting your shoulders, neck, every part of your skin. You were in flame and they were the gasoline, your gasoline....

       Things were getting heated. Like the shy y/n existed no more, your hands went exploring. From traveling up Todoroki's shirt, palming every bulge on his abs, flicking his nipples whenever you had the chance, brushing up his collarbones and down his shoulder, his arms, feeling every flex, every tension of muscle; to threading your fingers in Bakugou's ashy blonds, single digit caressing up and down his neck, shoulder blades, gripping at his nape and pulling infinitely closer to you, your ass grinding on his aching dick. It's really getting hot in here, why don't you take off your clothes then? And that's exactly what you did. Separating yourself from the two young men, all taking off your shirt at once, not wanting to lose any more time. Bakugou was the first to get all naked, nothing unusual, he always liked to show off his body, especially to the two of you. Sitting on the edge of your bed, hid hands on your hips, pulling you close. Palms molding your chest, only to journey south, lower and lower finding the elastic of your shorts, pulling them down your legs. Then come your panties. Your frilly white ones with a bow on the front looking so adorable and innocent, but the shining dark spot on the front proving otherwise. And the string attaching the cotton to your pussy added to the obvious sin. And before anything could happen, Bakugou didn't forget, always so worry of you even in moments like this, pulling out the lube from your lowest drawer, smearing it on his dick and two covered digits pressing against your asshole, slipping in easily it wasn't the first time after all. And when all was alright, he sat you down, his cock replacing his fingers your back arching off his chest, your eyes rolling back your skull and your moans shakily leaving your mouth.

     In the midst of it all, you didn't realize, you didn't notice, Todoroki sitting across of you, hard shaft in hand, working it up and down, until he saw you relaxing in your "seat". Approaching you, leaving a soft kiss on your forehead, your cheeks, your nose, the little giggle erupting from you like melody to his ears, and yet there's something much better he'd like to listen to, a much better song. Pushing both you and the angry blond back, he climbed on top, earning a little scoff from the boy behind you but it was left ignored. His hand gripping your hip steady as he slowly pushed past your folds, every vein grazing your inner walls. And now that both boys were starting to move inside you, the orchestra began. A cacophony of your moans and whimpers, your begs and whines, all wreathed with the clapping skin, the low dangerous growls and the soft lovable praises. State of euphoria, you lost yourself in, and therefore it wasn't long before you reached your peak. With high voice, a mess of their names escaped your parted rosy lips, your head thrown back as your lidded eyes stared into intense red ones, your nails digging, like daggers of heavenly pleasure into broad shoulders, you came. And yet the concert didn't stop; still pounding in and out of you, but by their sloppy messy thrusts you knew they were ever so close. And prove, Shoto was the first to join you in short lived bliss, white painting your insides, so so deeply shooting inside of you, making you feel all fuzzy and warm inside. And when you were still relishing in that feeling, Bakugou added to it, cumming as your back hole clenched around him, milking him for every single drop of his seed. And if you thought you're done, just when both of them pulled out, seeing their hot love dripping and oozing out of you, it was enough to get them going all over again and again and again..... Really you should thank your friends for this awesome round of dare or extreme dare....

[autisticshadowthehedgehog]

The Babylon Rogues are Dimension Hoppers and I can prove it

[ID: The Babylon Garden flying through space, as seen at the end of Sonic Riders: Zero Gravity. End ID.]

I have several points to make in this theory, so I’ll make this intro brief. Here is what I will be attempting to prove in this fun little essay:

The Babylonians are not native to Mobius 

They are, in fact, native to Blaze’s dimension 

They used to be dimension hoppers, but after the fall of the Babylon Garden they had to cease activity 

The dimension-hopping can be proven by looking at Blaze’s world, Sonic Boom, possibly Black Knight, and finally and most damningly, the Arabian Nights of Sonic and the Secret Rings.

Let’s continue. 

Babylonians are (canonically?) not native to Mobius

Very quickly, let’s go over some important lore for this theory. This might seem a bit “boring” for the moment, but please give it a read for context. 

[ID: Ancient ruins showing the legendary Divine Wings, as seen in Sonic Riders: Zero Gravity. The Divine Wings looks similar to a spaceship, with two orbs atop and four “wings.” End ID.]

A bit of detail is given in Sonic Riders as to the Ancient Babylonians, such as that they are believed to have been genies. (Remember that specifically for later.) Their incredibly advanced technology marked them as separate from the other ancient cultures. 

As revealed in Sonic Riders: Zero Gravity, the Ancient Babylonians believed in a legendary bird known as the Divine Wings. From what we can gather from what Tails is aware of and Knuckles reads from ancient inscriptions, the legends say that the Divine Wings rode the gods through the heavens, but lost their plumes to the dark and fell to the ground. The plumes became “stars,” returning to the land- these “plumes” (the Arks of the Cosmos) being the power sources that were sought after throughout the game. 

Tails eventually concludes that the Divine Wings was a spaceship, and that this “lightless black” that attacked the Divine Wings turns out to have been an actual Black Hole; while Tails believes it may have been programmed into the Arks as a warning “for people to step away from power beyond control,” what actually seems to have happened, though, may have been less of an intentional precautionary measure and more of a malfunction. It’s just as likely that the Arks went out of control either by themselves (as technology is want to do) or due to something in the planet’s atmosphere, threatening to turn their ship’s engine into the black hole. 

Unable to control the Black Hole, the Babylonians then lost their ability for space travel; they disconnected the Arks from their ship, sending them into the planet’s orbit. Their ship, the Babylon Garden, crashed onto the planet; while it still floated, they were unable to leave the atmosphere, and thus wished for every “falling star” to be their Arks to help them return home. They only managed to recover two over time, both of which were sealed away separately until it was safe to relaunch their ship. 

[ID: The Arks scattering throughout space, from Sonic Riders: Zero Gravity. End ID.]

The Babylon Garden remained floating and the Babylonians resided there, eventually becoming notorious thieves, though they are also famous for their technology, including their magic carpet (again, note for later) and “angel wings” they gave a boy that gave him a bit too much power. 

This “too much power” seems to have “incurred the wrath of the gods;” the Babylon Garden was buried beneath the Sand Ruins, while the Babylonians scattered, though the Key to the Garden was passed along. Their history, though, turned into legend. 

[ID: Art showing an angel-like creature striking lightning down onto the Babylon Garden. End ID.] 

So, here is the “proposed” timeline:

Babylonians are aliens 

Crash land on Mobius 

Become thieves 

Gods get pissed and “tower of babel” them

sidenote, but considering the known gods of the Sonicverse are Chaos, Illumina, Light/Dark Gaia and Solaris... I’m literally losing my mind imagining this unlikely group banding together and saying “yeah. yeah these birds need to go” 

But here’s a question... what if it wasn’t a spaceship at all? 

What if the ship could hop not across different planets, but through different worlds?

The Babylonians were not aliens from another planet, but from another dimension.

And the first of my evidence is that Babylon has actually been seen in another canonical dimension. 

Babylon Exists (but is abandoned) in Blaze’s World

Who here remembers Sonic Rush Adventure? 

[ID: A stage logo from Sonic Rush Adventure. It reads “Sky Babylon” and features a purple jewel among leaves. End ID.]

Very clearly, a certain “Babylon” does appear in Blaze’s dimension (which we’ll call the Sol Dimension for clarity’s sake). And this isn’t just speculation; the pirates and Blaze refer to the ruins as “Sky Babylon” within the game. 

From what Blaze says, Sky Babylon was inhabited by an ancient civilization, and was a continent in the sky. However, one day “it fell from the sky and crashed into the ocean.” Quite similar to the Babylon Garden, huh? After the continent fell, the people had to live among the land-dwellers, but longed one day to return to the sky, leaving keys to point the way. 

Sidenote: Blaze later finds ancient writings discussing the ruins- eerily similar to how Tails and Knuckles found out about the Divine Wings in Zero Gravity. And the writing says “To reach our homeland, head north along the shallows.” 

[ID: Screenshot from Sonic Rush Adventure, of the Sky Babylon stage. Sonic is swinging on a rope beside pillars. End ID.]

So, let’s review similarities between Blaze’s Babylon and Sonic’s Babylon:

Ancient Civilizations living in floating cities 

The continent later fell from the sky and crashed, becoming lost overtime

The people had to live on the planet but longed to return to the sky 

Keys were left; the word “key” refers in Blaze’s world to the signs explaining how to reach Sky Babylon, while in Sonic’s world the key is the ability to open the Babylon Garden, left to Jet. 

Ancient Writings were left explaining the lore. 

Now I’m sure you’re all thinking, “Gee, Connie, it’s probably just the other dimension’s versions of the Babylonians, just as Blaze is another dimension counterpart to Sonic and Marine is the counterpart to Tails.” 

But something interesting- almost nothing in Blaze’s world shares the same name as Sonic’s world. Even ones with similar names have notable differences- Eggman is Eggman Nega, the Chaos Emeralds are the Sol Emeralds, etc. And that’s literally the only two things with similar names, unless you count the South Island/Southern Island thing. (Which are. very common names.) Babylon is exactly the same in both dimensions. 

“But it’s Sky Babylon and the Babylon Garden, that’s different-” No, actually. The Babylon Garden were the spaceship, and only became a homeland after crashing. Sky Babylon is referred to exclusively as the Babylon Homeland. So what if Sky Babylon was their home base, and the Garden was their ship? 

This also isn’t the only dimension with hints of Babylonians. 

Babylonian Hints in Other Dimensions

Now these two may be reaches, but they’re just setup to when we hit the big guns, so strap in. 

In a canonically different dimension to the main games, the Sonic Boom games have several floating cities with very little backstory. 

[ID: The Sky Citadel in Sonic Boom: Rise of Lyric. Though abandoned, it is in good condition, and features several stone pillars and hanging plants. The citadel is among the sky and vaguely foggy, as it stands above the clouds. End ID.]

In Sonic Boom: Rise of Lyric, Team Sonic finds their final chaos crystal in the Sky Citadel, an enormous city located within the clouds; however, it has been long since abandoned, with only ruins remaining. In Sonic Boom: Shattered Crystal, Lyric imprisons Amy in Cloud Sanctuary, which are several floating islands joined by roads and hidden by the clouds. Once again, in the sanctuary are ancient ruins; there are no remaining people, only remnants of a lost civilization, with zero explanation as to what this city is or was. 

It is assumed that both of those worlds are remnants from the Ancients like Lyric the Snake; however, unless I’m mistaken, there is no confirmation of this, only the news that the Ancients hid the Sky Crystal in the Sky Citadel in order to keep it from Lyric; there’s no word that they lived there. In fact, wouldn’t hiding a chaos crystal from Lyric in a place that he lived be a really bad idea? Not a great hiding spot, guys. 

Another sidenote, but speculation: should, as I’m sure you’re inferring I’m implying, these lands have belonged to the Babylonians of the Boom!Universe, who is to say that they didn’t find the hidden Sky Crystal and steal it? They’re notorious thieves after all. 

The Sonic Boomniverse also has ancients with insanely powerful tech... hmm. 

Secondly, let’s bring in Sonic and the Black Knight. You see, on the modern Babylonians’ ship, a painting of a pirate hawk is hanging above Jet’s desk. It has been speculated to be Jet’s father, or at least an ancestor. In this portrait, this captain holds a sword. 

Now, let’s, um. Compare that sword to Caliburn, one of the sacred swords of Camelot. 

I’m gonna be honest; at least to my untrained eye, I believe that the Babylon Sword pictured here is very similar in color and shape to Caliburn. The connector to the blade may be a bit more rounded like Laevatin, however that may just be the blurriness of the portrait. Now how would a Babylonian locked in Sonic’s dimension get access to Caliburn? 

Well, you say, Sonic was transported to another dimension in Black Knight, wasn’t he? So they could have been summoned at some point, that’s not evidence they purposefully hopped dimensions. 

But let’s go back to that. Sonic was transported to another dimension in Black Knight... and also in that other Sonic Storybook. 

Which one was that again? 

The Big Guns: Sonic and the Secret Rings

[ID: Concept art from Sonic and the Secret Rings. End ID.]

Let’s talk about the source of the name Babylon for a moment. 

Babylon was also a city on Earth; it was in ancient Mesopotamia, which is now Iraq. The name at the time derived from the Akkadian bav-il or bav-ilim, meaning “Gate of the Gods.” The city was featured in several stories within Abrahamic culture- the Tower of Babel (which I referenced earlier!), the enslavement of Jerusalem resulting in the famous stories of Daniel, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. In at least Jewish and Christian tradition, Babylon symbolizes oppressors and worldliness. The city is even personified in the Christian book of Revolutation as the Whore of Babylon. 

But outside of this reputation, the city is known as an archeological marvel; very impressive architecture, an interesting code of law, and one of the seven wonders of the world, the Hanging Gardens of Babylon, a tiered garden. 

Sources: Mark, Joshua J. J. “Babylon.” Ancient History Encyclopedia, Ancient History Encyclopedia, 23 Oct. 2020, www.ancient.eu/babylon/, also the fact I am and was raised Christian so I Know This Christian Stuff™ just trust me 

There’s more I could get into, but I’m sure you’re already bored- yeah, yeah, Sonic Team named their cool ancient civilization after another cool ancient civilization, who cares? Here’s why I mentioned this, though: Babylon was in what is now Iraq. Iraq, as anyone with a georgraphy education would know, is in the Middle East of the planet. Know what else is in the middle east? 

The Arabian Nights. 

Know what the Arabian Nights influenced heavily, almost exclusively? 

The first Sonic Storybook, Sonic and the Secret Rings. 

[ID: A screenshot from Sonic and the Secret Rings, showing Shahra the Genie and Sonic having a discussion. End ID.] 

Remember all the way back in the beginning when I mentioned genies and magic carpets being a staple of SonicWorld Babylon? Well, genies are definitely canon to the Arabian Nights World, with Shahra and Erazor Djinn, and the idea of a magic carpet, while not appearing in Secret Rings, is very much a middle eastern staple, which most modern people connect to Aladdin, which Shahra references first and constantly throughout the game. 

Now, two very interesting dimensional instances are featured within Secret Rings. First off- the titular seven rings. 

[ID: Three screenshots of a scene from Sonic and the Secret Rings; Sonic and Shahra are attempting to grab a blue water ring. Sonic says, “Looks like I’m the only one that can touch [the rings]. I betcha it’s because I’m not from this world. Does that mean these rings aren’t from this world, either?” End ID.]

The rings, though insanely powerful, cannot be touched by anyone but Sonic. While it’s never confirmed, Sonic theorizes that the reason for this is that the rings are also from another dimension, possibly even his own. Now how would rings from another dimension end up in the Arabian Nights? 

The second dimensional fun thing is one of the bosses in this game- the Ifrit. 

[ID: Screenshot from Sonic and the Secret Rings. The Ifrit Golem rises from a fire pit. Sonic is shocked, and Shahra exclaims, “It’s a djinn that controls fire... it’s called an Ifrit!” End ID.]

Now, I could go a lot into certain theories about the Ifrit, but my sister covered that topic pretty well with her kickass Infinite/Solaris theory. So instead let’s just cover the basics. 

Ifrit’s name also has sources in Abrahamic mythology, though this one is specifically from Islam. It is a powerful demon, usually identified with spirits of the dead. The whole “death” thing isn’t really brought into this but, you know. Interesting. 

In Secret Rings, the Ifrit Golem is summoned by Erazor Djinn in order to burn pages of the Arabian Nights. It seems to be vaguely robotic, but considering it was summoned and seems to be alive I assume it’s just possessing some kind of robotic form, but most importantly it is mostly brown and red and is able to control fire. When Erazor summons it, he claims it is condemned by Iblis (a powerful djinn in Islamic mythology, former angel cast out of heaven, but also literally half of a god in Sonic 06, which was in production around the same time as Secret Rings) and also says he summoned it from Jahannam, basically hell. 

[ID: A loading screen from Sonic Rivals 2, showing the Ifrit there, breathing fire. End ID.]

Ifrit also appears, however, in another game released the same year; Sonic Rivals 2. And it is mentioned to, again, be from another dimension. It is summoned by Eggman Nega to destroy the world, but is defeated by the Sonic Squads™ and eventually left trapped in its own dimension. It is, once again, incredibly fire-based, colored red and brown, and actually has mind control powers now, so that’s cool for it I guess. 

So in two games, released the same year, Ifrit is connected to different dimensions; Arabian Nights, Jahannam, its own hell-dimension (possibly Jahannam?), and also a bit of Mobius, as Gerald Robotnik was noted to have studied the Ifrit’s legendary power. 

So Secret Rings has rings from another dimension, and a fire demon from another dimension. Also a blue hedgehog shows up and does some stuff there idk. Which means that Secret Rings is no stranger to other dimensions popping in and out. 

What this whole tangent is leading to- Arabian Nights is clearly connected to dimension-hopping. And Babylon is connected to the Arabian Nights by several things- specifically, the name and history, the magic carpet, and the genies.

(Does that make Jet and Shahra distant cousins?)

Also another interesting thing: the Levitated Ruins. 

[ID: A screenshot from Sonic and the Secret Rings. Sonic is running through the sky, and we see several manta-ray like creatures, called the rukh, with cities built upon their backs. End ID.]

The towns there are built on the back of flying rukh flying through the atmosphere. 

Flying ruins again? Interesting. 

Very fucking interesting. 

Conclusion

[ID: Screenshot from Sonic Riders: Zero Gravity. The Babylon Rogues look up at the sky, where the Babylon Garden is flying into orbit. End ID.]

So, let’s get down the facts: 

Despite almost everything in Sol having a different name than in Mobius, the Babylonians have the same name. 

Sky Babylon in Sol was considered the Babylon Homeland, but abandoned after it fell into the sea. 

The Babylon Garden was some kind of ship, but it crashed on Earth. 

The Babylonians in both dimensions longed to return to the sky and left keys for their descendants to make that possible. 

The Babylonians are connected by visual cues to Sonic Boom abandoned cities (with no word on who lived there or where they went), and possibly even Black Knight. 

Due to their name, similar technology, and the legends of genies, the Babylonians are also connected to the Arabian Nights. 

Arabian Nights itself has a lot of dimensional shenanigans going on. 

The Babylonians are connected to Sol, Mobius, Sonic Boom, Black Knight and/or Arabian Nights.

So. What conclusions did I draw from this?

Some thousand or so years ago, the Babylonians, originating in Sol, had the technology to hop between dimensions. 

Considering they later became notorious Mobian thieves, we can assume that thievery was also in the picture during these ancient times. How easy would it be to be a thief with dimensional powers? You steal something, hop dimensions, and then hop back when the cops are gone. 

Either the first dimension they went to or their main hangout was the Arabian Nights; they picked up a lot of the culture/tech, such as magic carpets and genie myths. Possibly due to this, the Arabian Nights has an open connection to other worlds.

Perhaps the Seven Rings actually came from Babylon, stashing these cool new gems into their inbetween world and forgetting to pick them up. 

They set up some cities on flying manta rays, nbd. 

They also hopped into the Sonic Boom dimension, where they made some sky cities to rest in inbetween dimension hops. Upon their ship’s failure, the sky cities were left abandoned. 

They also may have visited the Black Knight dimension. 

During one of their dimension hops, their ship, the Babylon Garden, goes to the Mobius dimension; however, something in their tech fucks up within this dimension’s boundaries/atmosphere.

This one’s just a wild speculation, but if they came from Sol, Sol and Mobius have different emeralds, so I think they may have different power sources. 

In order to prevent a Black Hole from destroying them and this other dimension, the Babylonian travelers split their power and fall into Mobius. There, they live on their Garden until it falls. 

Back in Sol, Sky Babylon also ends up falling; perhaps whatever caused the Garden to fall hit Sky Babylon, or perhaps some other disaster occurred before Babylon Prime could figure out what happened to their Garden. 

The Sol Babylonians settle among the land. 

Eventually they all either forget the dimension hopping or it becomes secret as fuck. 

So what’s the full conclusion? 

It’d be really funny if the Babylonians learned the Arabian Nights prophecy about a blue hedgehog saving their world and passed that story along forever but it just went completely over Jet’s head because the second he saw Sonic his gay kill bill sirens went off and he was like “I have to race him” and it takes him years to remember. 

[bnha-free-writing]

Uncertain

Hi guys! I hope you enjoy this fluff piece! Special thanks to @shoutodoki​ and @burnedbyshoto​ for allowing me to tag them in this piece! I hope you guys enjoy this as much as I enjoy your works!

Pairing: Shoto x Reader

Warnings: Fluff ahead! (Some angst too...)

Word Count:  5.3k

Rated: E for Everyone (Like Shouto's hands)

-----------------

Key:

(Y/N) - Reader’s name

(L/N) - Reader’s last name

(s/t) - Skin tone

(h/l) - Hair length

(h/t) - Hair texture/type

(h/c) - Hair color

(e/c) - Eye color

(Y/H/N) - Reader’s Hero Name

-----------------

When Shoto Todoroki first began his education at U.A., he never thought that he would make any friends. His goal had been simply to become the best hero. There was absolutely no plan of making friends. And he definitely wasn’t looking to find love.

But apparently, fate had other things in mind. In his three years at U.A., he met so many people, made some close friends, but none closer than (Y/N) (L/N). The girl that kept him anchored to the ground when things got rough. When his father was involved in a tough battle on TV, (Y/N) had held him in a reassuring hug until the fight ended. When training led to injury, she was the first to help him to Recovery Girl. 

It hadn’t been an immediate friendship. She had started out their first year by making friends with Ochako Uraraka and Tsuyu Asui. He was so wrapped up in his goals that it took over a week before he finally noticed her. But then, one day in class, he got a paper cut. He had winced and out of the corner of his hetero-chromatic eyes, he watched as a bandage was slid onto the edge of his desk. He looked over at the (h/c) girl in confusion. She had been sitting right beside him and all she did was offer a soft smile before returning to taking notes.

After that, she would occasionally sit across from him at lunch. He was sitting alone at the time, curious as to why she would abandon her friends twice a week to start up small talk with him. But she was persistent and eventually, he had gotten used to her presence. 

“Why are you here,” he had finally asked aloud. 

“I want to be a hero, silly,” she had replied, confusion clear on her features.

“No, I mean why are you sitting here with me.”

“You looked lonely and I think you need a friend. It’s that simple,” she beamed.

After that, their lunch for that day fell into silence. He didn’t understand. 

At the Sports Festival, she put up a hell of a fight. Her quirk might not have been the strongest, but she fought hard to earn her place. With that, she had earned his respect.

After that, their conversations became more frequent. Then, it was him joining her at Uraraka and Midoriya’s table. No longer was she abandoning her friend group, because slowly but surely he became a part of it.

By second year, there were frequent movie nights, the girl showing him her favorite movies, a kind of enjoyment his father never would have allowed. They would sit on the edge of her bed sharing laughter and (though he would never admit it) occasional tears. She introduced him to kinds of joy that he never thought possible. 

Some days, it was enough to just sit on opposite sides of the room in comfortable silence. She would be curled up on her bean bag chair, sketching, while he would sit on her bed, working his way through her personal library. Other days it was laughter and talking as she taught him how to cook. She would joke that it was ironic because, despite having a fire quirk, he was a bit clueless in the kitchen. 

She was a relaxing figure in his life, one of the kindest people he had ever met. Despite the fact that he could be rather cold and socially oblivious, she understood him. She was his best friend. But about halfway through their third year at U.A., something changed. It was a slow change, but it wasn’t necessarily a bad one. 

It started with a moment, just a moment, where he saw her sitting at the foot of the stairs outside of Heights Alliance, waiting for him to come back from shopping for the supplies for the dorm. She was reading a book, the sun shining on her (s/t) skin, the wind blowing through her (h/l), (h/t) (h/c) locks, her soft, (e/c) orbs focused on the page in front of her. He found himself stopping, admiring the way she bit her bottom lip and her eyebrows knitted together as she focused. For that one moment, he found his mind going blank. 

The only thought his mind could process was, ‘She’s beautiful.’

And as suddenly as it started, it drifted away the second she noticed his arrival and called his name.

After that, it was downhill from there. When she would grab his wrist to drag him to lunch like she did every day, his heart would race and his cheeks would warm. She was suddenly in his dreams, her radiant smile filling his thoughts. He found himself getting lost in thought every time their eyes would meet.

No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t wrap his head around why he felt this way. They had been friends long enough that he couldn’t think of why he was feeling this way. He tried to Google these feelings, but heart racing and sweaty palms only brought up the results of ‘cancer.’

He was pretty sure that he was not dying, yet he was still unsure of what was wrong. For weeks, these feelings had been taunting him, her smile invading his thoughts, his dreams, everything. At one point, he had a dream about her that made his quirk activate in his sleep. He wound up waking up in the middle of the night to the sprinklers going off, aggravating his classmates. While the rest were angry, she had been hell-bent on ensuring that he was okay. 

 It wasn’t until they were watching a movie with the rest of the class (even Bakugo) in the common area that he finally got a clue. She was squished between himself and Bakugo, when about halfway through the movie he felt a sudden weight on his left shoulder. He looked down to see her head resting on his shoulder, her breathing even as she slept peacefully. He smiled softly, resting his own head against hers.

“Awww,” he heard the soft coo of Uraraka, followed by soft whispers.

He attempted to drown out their voices when he heard Ashido whisper, “They’re so cute together. When are Todoroki and (L/N) gonna finally admit that they’re in loooove?”

His hetero-chromatic eyes shot open as Ashido’s words processed in his brain. The pinkette had never been very good at being quiet, but for once he was grateful. 

He thought, ‘Is that what this is?’ as his heart beat became nearly deafening in his ears. 

Shortly after the movie finished, Todoroki lifted (Y/N) into his arms, taking her to her dorm room. Her eyes fluttered as she slept peacefully in his arms. Once he got her to her dorm, he laid her on the bed, carefully covering her with a blanket. It took all of his self control to leave, rather than holding her in his arms through the night.

The next day was no better. Now that he knew what this feeling was, her very existence made him flustered, though he hid it quite well. He was constantly fighting to keep his eyes off of her. 

The more time that went by, the more Todoroki was terrified that it would get to the point that he would miss out on any chance he had with her. As a third year student, she had plenty of exposure as a hero in training. She already had several fan sites, seeing as she worked under the Pro Hero, Edgeshot. He wasn’t oblivious to her popularity and unlike himself, she was very good with her fans.

-----------------

It was a rare event to have Endeavor and Edgeshot’s agencies team up, yet Todoroki found himself fighting back to back with (Y/N) against a large group of thugs. Their mentors had delegated the two of them to the low level goons while the two of them raced ahead to take on the main boss, Terminator. While their opponents’ fighting was erratic, the two of them fought nearly completely synchronized. Within minutes, they were down to a few opponents. 

Once they were done with the low level thugs, the two of them were quick to join their mentors against the big boss. The man had a powerful quirk, and had four higher ranking members of his crew to play guard. It wasn’t an easy fight, but the second (Y/N) had taken down two of the higher ranking members, the boss had slightly nodded his head in her direction.

Nobody saw it coming, as a fifth underling had been hiding in the rafters, awaiting for when she was signaled for. As (Y/N) turned to help Todoroki, the fifth underling dropped down behind her, undetected until she slammed (Y/N) into a wall, knocking her unconscious as her head smacked against the scarlet brick wall. 

The vibrations of the impact drew the attention of Todoroki and the two Pro Heroes. Todoroki’s hetero-chromatic orbs widened, and before either of his opponents could register what was going on, he had them frozen solid from the neck down. 

He immediately turned his focus solely upon the woman that had caused (Y/N)’s injury. The woman had a quirk that allowed her to be as strong as five men, and she was fast on her own. The woman charged at Todoroki, but he was quick to use his ice to slip away, simultaneously knocking the woman off balance. As she slipped around on the ice, struggling to regain her footing, he used this time to his advantage, freezing her much like he had done with her cohorts. 

As soon as he was done with her, he turned his attention to Endeavor and Edgeshot, who were restraining the boss. 

“Shoto! Go check on (Y/H/N),” Edgeshot shouted.

Todoroki quickly moved to (Y/N)’s side, her body still as he checked her pulse. It was faint and he knew he couldn’t move her without the possibility of causing more damage. Blood was dripping from the back of her head, her body looked paler, and all he could do was stare in shock.

He could barely process a thing as the paramedics arrived, moving her onto a gurney. Edgeshot rode along in the ambulance while Todoroki and Endeavor stayed behind and answered questions for the police. 

Once they were cleared, Todoroki made his way to the hospital, immediately finding himself in the waiting room. 

“She’s in surgery. I’ll let you know as soon as I hear anything,” Edgeshot promised. 

“Thank you, sir.”

The two of them sat for hours, their eyes completely trained on the operating room door. There were no words between them. Simply (Y/N)’s mentor and best friend, each sitting with a heavy feeling in the air between them.

With each passing hour without word on her condition, Todoroki steadily grew more anxious. Eventually, he even found himself pacing and that’s when Edgeshot stepped in, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“Shoto, she is going to be alright. She’s a tough kid. I know she’s your friend. You’re all she talks about when we get the chance to talk. You guys are close. You of all people should know that she’s tougher than this. She’ll get through it, kid.”

“I know. I just… I don’t know what I can do.”

“You can’t change it. All you can do is be there for her.”

It was then that the doctor walked up to them, pulling Edgeshot aside. Once he returned to Todoroki’s side, he was quick to fill Todoroki in.

“So, there was mild head injury, which is what knocked her unconscious. They put her in surgery because one of her ribs broke and they needed to set it properly before they could call in Recovery Girl to speed up the healing process. However she wasn’t able to heal her completely. She’s going to stay here under observation for the rest of the week.”

“When can we see her,” Todoroki asked.

“She’s still asleep. Between the surgery and Recovery Girl’s treatment, she’s exhausted. They said one of us could sit with her, so long as we don’t disturb her rest. I’ll let you sit with her first.”

Todoroki simply nodded before heading over to the nurse so he could be escorted to her room. Once he arrived at her room, he quietly pulled up a chair to her bedside.

Her eyelids fluttered as she slept and he found himself letting out a breath he hadn’t known he was holding. He laid his head on the edge of her bed, allowing himself to truly relax for the first time in hours. His eyelids grew heavy as he drifted off to sleep, having found solace by her side. 

Todoroki woke to the morning sunlight peeking through the window. His eyes opened and he found himself looking up at (Y/N)’s resting face. Her eyelids fluttered as she slept, still in the same state she had been when he had drifted off. 

Why the doctors hadn’t woken him was beyond him, but he certainly wasn’t going to complain. It almost felt wrong to be sitting there, watching her sleep. Yet that was the least of his concerns. He wondered if she had woken yet at any point.

“You’re awake,” he heard from a voice behind him. He turned to see Edgeshot leaning against the door frame. “She hasn’t woken up yet. But I told them to let you stay.” 

“Have the doctors said anything?”

“Apparently her heart monitor has been steady, no complications.”

“That’s good,” Todoroki replied, letting out a sigh of relief.

The two of them sat in silence for a few moments before a light groan broke through the air.

“(Y/N),” Todoroki called softly, hoping to hear her sweet voice reply.

“I feel like I’ve been hit by a bus,” (Y/N)’s voice croaks out.

The second he heard her voice, Todoroki whipped around, his hetero-chromatic orbs meeting her (e/c) ones. 

He had never thought he would be that happy to hear someone’s voice, yet there he was. To his ears, her voice was that of an angel calling him to heaven. There was nothing short of amazement in his eyes as he looked at her as though her body was made of gold and her (e/c) orbs were made of the rarest gems. This woman was his everything. 

His thoughts were broken as her scratchy voice pierced the air once more. “Sh-Shoto… Is there any way I could get a glass of water?”

“Of course, give me just a moment,” he replied before turning to the sink in her room and quickly pouring her a glass, his hands shaking. 

“Good to see you’re awake, kid. I’ll let Todoroki here talk you through what happened. I’ll call your parents to let them know you’re awake,” Edgeshot replied before leaving the room. 

Todoroki watched as (Y/N) carefully drank her water and he waited for her to finish drinking before he began to speak. “So what’s the last thing you remember?”

Her voice was soft as she replied, “I remember we were going into the main compound building and we got caught up fighting some higher level goons. I beat the two I was dealing with and then… I turned to help you. But I don’t remember anything after that.”

“Well, that’s good. You aren’t missing much time. Basically, there was another high level goon up in the rafters. She'd been hiding there, waiting for a signal. Detectives figured out that she was Terminator’s right hand. He must have given her a signal because she jumped down and tossed you into a wall… Apparently you were knocked unconscious on impact.”

“Your injuries weren’t too bad. Recovery Girl came in and healed you after they did surgery to set your broken rib. They just want to keep you under observation until Friday night to make sure that you are okay.”

(Y/N) simply nodded before she spoke, “Are you okay, Shoto?”

“You’re the one in a hospital bed and you’re asking me if I’m okay,” Todoroki replied, confusion clear on his features. 

“Todoroki… You look like you haven’t slept.”

He sat down in the chair beside her bed, looking down at his hands as a blush grew on his cheeks. “I… I actually slept right here. I never left here last night.”

Todoroki glanced up as he felt a light pressure applied to his head. (Y/N) had softly placed her hand on his head, lightly ruffling his hair. Their eyes met for only a second before she pulled her hand away and they both darted their eyes to their laps. 

“Hey guys, I figured you’d be hungry, so I brought some breakfast… And… Why do you two look like tomatoes,” Edgeshot spoke as he entered the room once more. 

Neither of the teens dared to speak a word as the Pro Hero rolled his eyes. 

Todoroki thought that spending the week without (Y/N) being in class would be difficult. But if anything, her absence made concentrating easier. He was writing down notes non-stop, making sure to cover every lesson in as much detail as possible, even comparing notes with Midoriya and Yaoyorozu during lunch to ensure that he hadn’t missed anything. 

“Why do you need to take such detailed notes all of a sudden,” Midoriya asked that Monday after school. 

His friends all looked at him expectantly as he admitted, “I don’t want (Y/N) to fall behind. So I’m going back to the hospital after school to help her with what she’s missing during class.”

“Awwww, that’s really sweet,” Uraraka cooed. “Can I ask you something, Todoroki?”

“Sure.”

“Todoroki, do you… Do you like (Y/N)? Whatever your answer, it’ll stay between the three of us. I just had to ask seeing as this is the only time I can really ask you without risking her popping up.”

Todoroki looked at Midoriya and Uraraka for a single moment, taking a deep breath before shakily replying, “I… I guess.”

“Todoroki, it’s nothing to be ashamed of! She makes you happy!”

“You should tell her, Todoroki,” Midoriya advises.

“Yes,” Uraraka cheers. 

“Well, right now, I have to leave to get these notes to her,” he spoke as he looked at his watch. “I don’t want to miss the train.”

“Bye Todoroki,” Uraraka and Midoriya chorus.

He found himself practically racing to the hospital. When he finally got there, he was surprised to find her sitting on the edge of the bed, looking out the window. 

“Hey, (Y/N),” Todoroki spoke slowly, hoping to not startle her.

She turned around slowly, a grin on her face as she spoke, “Shoto! You came! I’m glad. I was worried you wouldn’t have time.”

Though he wouldn’t say it aloud, he knew if it meant seeing her, he would have blown off any assignment. “I told you I’d be here,” he retorted, as he sat down beside her.

“I know,” she replied as she wrapped her arms around him.

As soon as she pulled away from the hug, he pulled out the notes he had worked so hard on all day.

-----------------

After a particularly long training session on Friday afternoon, the only thing Todoroki wanted was a shower. He wasn’t to go visit (Y/N) that day because she was to be released and picked up by Edgeshot that evening. So he had spent his few free hours after school training hard with Midoriya, Bakugo, and Iida. 

But when the doors to Heights Alliance opened up, his eyes immediately fell on a figure with (h/c) locks surrounded by her friends. She was dressed in her favorite sweatpants and an All Might T-shirt, looking as stunning as ever. Her (e/c) eyes shined with joy as Uraraka filled her in on what she’s missed throughout the week.

“I missed being here so much,” (Y/N confessed, a pout on her lips. 

“Ribbit. We missed you too,” Asui croaked. “Hey, it’s Todoroki.”

(Y/N) looked up from her group of friends and gave him a beaming grin before greeting, “Hey Shoto! Surprise! I got out a couple of hours early! I told Edgeshot if I didn’t get out soon, I’d lose it! So he talked it over with the doctor and they let me out like an hour before classes let out!”

Todoroki couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle at her antics. 

“Hey, I got tickets for a movie and I got permission for eight of us to go,” Yaoyorozu offered as she approached, a skip in her step.

“That’s great,” Todoroki commented. 

“So, I was thinking Todoroki, (Y/N), Uraraka, Midoriya, Tsu, Iida, Kyoka, and myself. We can go tomorrow night, assuming you’re all willing to go! Iida, Midoriya, and Kyoka have already agreed, so...”

“I’ll definitely go,” Uraraka chimed.

“I’d love to! Thanks, Momo,” (Y/N) added, nodding exuberantly.

“Sounds like fun,” Tsu croaks, a smile on her features.

Todoroki found the rest of them looking at him expectantly, waiting for his response. He finally nodded, a small smile on his features. 

The next night came quickly and he found himself in awe as Uraraka practically pushed a nearly shy (Y/N) out of the elevator. Her soft, (h/c) locks were pinned back out of her face, her big (e/c) eyes were framed with light makeup and her lips lightly glossed. Her frame was covered by a plain, light blue sundress, a pair of simple flats on her feet. 

Uraraka led (Y/N) to his side, practically skipping as she cheered out, “Todoroki! (Y/N) looks super cute, right?”

Todoroki’s eyes widened, not expecting the sudden question. He had literally just been stuck on thinking about how beautiful she looked, yet when it comes down to vocalizing, he finds himself at a loss.

“Ochako, leave him alone,” (Y/N) whispers, her eyes glued to her shoes.

Todoroki felt his heart drop at the sight of the crestfallen expression on her face. He felt as though he was choking on his words, despite a part of him wanting to scream from the rooftops, announcing her beauty to the world. Yet there he stood, his mouth opening and closing in a fish-like fashion, feeling like a fool.

Finally after what felt like hours, he managed to mutter out, “You… You look cute, (Y/N).”

Her head shot up, her (e/c) orbs wide with surprise, a flush on her cheeks, and a small smile on her face. 

Finally, Iida comes speeding in, “The movie starts in twenty-five minutes! We should leave immediately to ensure that we are not tardy! It would be unbecoming of esteemed U.A. students to be late!”

Soon enough, the group arrived at the theater, each of them having time to grab their drinks and popcorn. Yaoyorozu was the first to be seated, followed by Jiro, Midoriya, Uraraka, Iida, Tsu, (Y/N), and finally Todoroki at the end. 

The title screen seemed innocent enough until the blood started dripping from the words on the screen. It was a horror movie and with every jump-scare, Todoroki watched as (Y/N) jumped and shook more and more. Her hands were tightly clutching the sides of the seat, the white of her knuckles showing through. 

Finally, as tears started to prick at her eyes, Todoroki couldn’t watch her like that anymore. He carefully placed one of his hands on her own, immediately gaining her attention as she jerked her head to face him. In that moment, her eyes widened and she threw herself into his arms, crying. At first he was surprised, but as soon as she clutched his shirt, he pulled her into his lap, lightly stroking her (h/c) locks as she shook in his arms. He rested his head atop her own and the hand that wasn’t stroking her hair began to rub slow, calming circles on her back until she fell asleep in his arms.

Once the movie was over, he found himself stirring (Y/N) from her sleep. As he led her sleepy form out of the theater, his arm sling around her protectively, she stayed groggily clung to his shirt. Even on the loud, crowded subway, she didn’t move out from under his arm. 

Once the group made their way to the dorms, they were met by the few members of their class that were still awake. Shoto looked down at her, to see her eyes still half open. 

Mina was the first to address the pair, “Awww she looks so tired!”

“I forgot to tell everyone that it was a horror movie. (Y/N) didn’t take it well,” Yaoyorozu admitted, nervously twiddling her thumbs. Turning to (Y/N) she pleads, “I really hope you’re not upset with me.”

“I’ll be fine. I just need some sleep,” (Y/N) sleepily mumbles, before attempting to take a step on her own. When the girl practically fell over, Todoroki was quick to catch her and resume their previous stance. 

“I’m going to take her up,” he muttered, carefully leading her towards the elevator. 

The rest of their class bode them good night as the two disappeared into the elevator, the (h/c) girl still nuzzled into Todoroki’s side. 

“Sh-Shoto,” her voice stuttered out, so faintly that he almost missed it. 

Luckily he hadn’t, because the second he looked down at her, his heart skipped a beat. She had the cutest expression on her face, her lips slightly parted, her tired eyes looking up at him through her lashes, and a faint pink to her cheeks.

He didn’t know what to expect as she hesitantly raised her hand to cup his face. He was too shocked to move, allowing her to lightly run her thumb over his cheek, just below his scar. Her other hand was still clutched to the back of his shirt, her cheeks darkening as their eyes refused to break contact. 

She was too close. He could smell her skin, he could see flecks in her (e/c) orbs, he could practically count her eyelashes. His heart was pounding in his ears, his body unable to move in fear of losing control of himself.

She was exhausted. He shouldn’t be letting this happen, he thought. But a small, selfish part of him wanted to stay like this forever. Her body pressed against him, their eyes locked on one another, and the soft touch of her hand on his face.

She was the first to break eye contact, a sad smile taking its place on her features as the elevator opened.

His eyes widened as she removed her hand from his face and they walked to her room in silence, as though nothing had happened. She unlocked the door and he walked her to her bed.

It was then that he got a good look at her face. The moonlight shone through her window, highlighting the silent tears that were streaming down her cheeks. 

“Why are you crying,” he whispered.

“I shouldn’t have done that… In the elevator… I’m sorry, Shoto,” she spoke softly, her sentence broken up by soft sobs. “I don’t want you to hate me… I… I just…”

Her voice broke into nothing but soft sobs. 

He took a seat on the edge of her bed, sitting beside her as he pulled her into his arms. 

“I… I could never hate you,” he whispered.

For the second time that night, he held her as she cried herself to sleep in his arms. 

He didn’t know what to do. He had never been good at expressing his emotions, but, damn, this was a new low for him. He didn’t know why she was sorry for what was just about the best moment of his life. He was just glad that it was a Saturday night, because at this rate he wasn’t sleeping. 

He wasn’t sure of anything. 

Was she sorry because he froze and she thought he didn’t like it?

Or was she sorry because she knew how he felt and she used that moment to decide that she didn’t feel the same?

But for right now, he was holding her in his arms and, even if this would be the last time it happened, it was enough for him. With his arms still wrapped tightly around her, he laid back, resting his head on the pillow behind them.

When Todoroki woke in the morning, he found himself looking down at (Y/N)’s sleeping form once more. Her eyes were red and puffy from her tears she had shed the night before but what surprised him most was that it appeared that at some point, she had gotten up and changed into pajamas, yet climbed back into bed beside him. 

As she laid there, snuggled into his chest, he brushed a lock of hair from her face. It was another one of those moments where all he desired was to freeze time. 

But as the light filtered through the window, her eyes scrunched together and she began to stir. 

Her eyes fluttered open, looking up at him almost immediately. She smiled softly for a moment, before her eyes widened.

“Shoto, what are you doing here,” she asked slowly, as though she wasn’t sure if she wanted the answer.

“You had a rough night last night. I got you safely to your room and you started crying. So I guess I fell asleep comforting you.”

“I was really hoping that the part that made me cry was a bad dream,” she whispered. “I’m sorry. You don’t have to stay, Shoto.”

“Why are you sorry,” he inquired, not moving from his spot.

“I… I tried to make a move on you? You didn’t like it,” she admitted, looking down at her hands.

“(Y/N), look at me please,” he requested.

When she peeked up at him through her eyelashes, he took her chin gently between his thumb and forefinger bringing her up to face him properly. His other hand gently brushed over her cheek, much like she had done to him the night before. 

“I tried to tell you last night. I could never hate you. I liked it... I was surprised. And you weren’t in the right condition for me to give in, even if I was sure that you’d meant it,” he admitted softly.

There was a moment of silence between them before she let out a giggle.

“I was so scared. I was terrified that you didn’t like me back,” she confessed. “I’m an idiot!”

“We were both scared,” he corrected, feeling his cheeks grow warmer. “I thought that when you got injured… I��d never get the chance to tell you.”

“Shoto,” she whispered as she placed her hand over the one that was still absentmindedly stroking the side of her face. “Please, just kiss me.”

His heart jumped into his throat as he carefully moved closer, half expecting to wake up, finding this to be yet another dream. Yet, she closed the small space between them for a soft, hesitant kiss. 

His heart was pounding, every cell of his body felt like it was on fire, yet his mind had never been so at ease. When they finally pulled apart, their faces were flushed, a small, dopey grin on each of their faces.

He leaned down to give her a chaste kiss before pulling her into his chest, muttering, “I’m not ready to get out of bed yet.”

With a small yawn, she nuzzled into his chest, pulling a blanket over the two of them as she replied with a light giggle, “You read my mind.”

[jamiedc-they-them]

Sell and Repurchase

Requested Imagine: While trying to look for an old friend, you find her in the most unexpected of places. Even if, for her, it had been a long time coming.

You typed on your keyboard, getting the pop-up from your newest contact. This one is just asking for the contents that you had stolen from a company. Not the biggest one, but one that would have serious repercussions should you have been caught. 

You hadn’t been, as you had been taught by (who, to you) was one of the best; Skye. 

Saying that name always had a pang in your chest; she was your best friend, one that had helped you learn how to hack and how to do the Rising Tide podcast you had been working on for a few years before…

Well, before it all fell apart. 

Now, the Tide was almost over and done with. Or, rather, you were.

You sold the secrets for money, for a chance to run. You didn’t sell it to some big corpo, just some enemies of the Tide and wanted to see it come crashing down. 

With that, you went dark. You started anew, here in Denver, not really intent on making friends. 

Not when your only one was fuck knows where. 

You knew that those who you sold the info to and who you worked for had other intents with the information. You knew that, despite what everyone said, there was always something else going on in the background, something bad they hid in the shadows. 

“You really think I do, kid?” Your local checkout guy asked you as you paid for your things, “You think I’m just gonna sell you out like that?” 

“Just a matter of time. Plus, I’m helping you out, you help me.” 

“Maybe. But, even if you weren’t, I wouldn’t of anyway.” You looked around as he packed your bag, seeing a customer with a hat on picking out a drink. He seemed to always be there, but so did a lot of other customers.

“Sure.” You brushed it off, going back to your van.

Again, you typed, sending the information off. Now, you waited. Waited for the pingback that would get you one step closer to finding out whether or not your best friend was still alive. 

However, as the ping went off, the door to your van opened, with a man who wore shades and a smirk greeted you. 

“Y/N?” He asked.

“Whose it to?” You replied with, despite already having an idea. 

“SHIELD.” With that, a bag went over your head. 

Your cuffs kept you to the chair, again, as you tried to pull on it, “Fuck.” You cursed. It wasn’t budging. 

The door opened, with that same man walking in, this time without shades, “I’m Phil Coulson, and I’m sure this is really weird right now. But, I have reason to believe you’ve just sold some valuable data to a client that has ties to a very evil corporation.” The man, Coulson, told you as he sat down opposite you. 

“I just get it for them. I knew going in it wasn’t exactly going to be nice.” You confessed. 

Coulson nodded, “Anything else you want to tell me?” He prompted. 

“Nope. I’m sure you SHIELD guys have got a state of the art equipment to find them though, right? I mean, if I can do that from my van….you might need an upgrade.” 

Coulson smiled, “Yeah, maybe we do. But, we’ve got one of our best working on that. She’s been eager to talk to you.” 

“Despite not being interested, I always had a way with women.” You smirked, trying to hide the small amount of fear you had. 

“Yeah, she told us you’d be like that. Managed to make a short file for you.” Ok, now he had your interest. She? There was only one --

The door opened, with the woman you have been trying to find all this time. 

“Thanks, AC. Sorry for taking so long, Y/N’s always been good with this type of stuff.” She apologised. She sounded more mature, not the goofy friend you hand known. 

“Nothing to apologise for, agent Skye.” Agent? He looked back to you, “Don’t worry, we aren’t going to punish you or anything. You didn’t know. As Skye tells us, you’re a good guy. Just, tell her what we need, then we’ll be on our way.” He vowed, before leaving. 

Now it was just the two of you.

She sat down. You could see, in her eyes, that this reunion seemed to carry the same weight as it had to you.

Two best friends. Two siblings by bond coming back together. 

“Hi, Y/N.” Her voice was light. She had lost the professionalism to it the moment she spoke to you.

Now, you just had to find out how the fuck she ended up here. Why she had stayed. That was a big one; you had never stayed in more than one location for this long before. Why change now?

“You ready?” She asked, opening a very small file. Inside was your photo. Ah, so she was looking through what SHIELD had on you. 

You leaned forward, “Oh yeah, I’m ready.” You answered. 

Time to get some answers of your own.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There was a man Skye had met, just before Miles. The one who came before. Miles and him were friends, but himself and Skye didn’t become a thing until after. His name was Peter. 

“Y/N, born in --”

“You don’t need to read from that, Skye. You know me, just like I know you.” You interrupted with. 

Skye looked at you, eyes hiding the emotion that laid behind them, “Or, I want to know how you ended up here. You wanna catch me up?” 

She fully closed the file, pushing it to one side, “You wanna tell me who you were working for?” She fired back.

“Share for share. I go, you go.” You ‘offered’. 

“You first.” She was waiting. 

“No idea who they were. They just offered me something.”

“Money?” She guessed. 

“Nah, got gigs for that.” You answered. 

“Then what? Give me something, Y/N. Something I can use to help you get out of this.” That’s ironic. 

“You. They said they had information on you. Besides, you not give them enough for me to get out this cleanly anyway.” Something happened in her eyes. They widened, for sure, but there seemed to be a bit of fear in them too. 

However, she was quick to cover it up, “Tried to hack SHIELD to find anything out on my parents. Tried to find some things on yours, too.” She said, voice delicate. 

You looked to the table, before up to her, “Told you, didn’t want to know ‘em --”

“I know...I’m sorry,” You shook your head, telling her to not worry about it, “Anyways, they found me, dragged me into a different room to this. But, same flavour, really: drab colours.” You let out a chuckle at her words. She smiled. 

“Guy said it was a shell company. Just wanted some files. I went and got ‘em.” You said, holding up your end of the deal. 

Peter was good; he was a kind, gentle, soul. Despite everything he had gone through, he had never lost the gentleness he had that his foster father had deemed as weak. 

There was a time when you had a nightmare, and Skye was driving. Peter was there, waking you up and helping you calm down. 

“Are they ok?” Skye asked, looking back at you both through the mirror. 

You nodded, “Yeah. Yeah, they’re good. They’re good.” He assured his (then) girlfriend. 

“I helped them out. I helped them get what they wanted. They wanted Mike, I helped them get him.” She continued to tell you.

“So, you gave him up?” Skye gave you a head tilt and silent glare. 

“No, I didn’t. He had powers, and needed to be brought in.” She defended. 

“I have powers. And you guys didn’t run at me with guns Or you tell them that from the get go, and that’s why you didn’t come running in with guns?” 

“You do. And my intel played a part. Along with other pieces.” Now you looked a bit confused, “Guy who worked in the shop you went to --”

“The cashier?” 

“No, a customer.” Shit. 

“Fuck.” You cursed, leaning back in your chair. 

“I’m sorry, Y/N --” You stopped her.

“Did the cashier know?” She shook her head. 

“Guy with the hat that was always there. That was the agent.” You just nodded.

“We stopped Mike, I was made an offer; I was given the chance to be apart of something, Y/N. Be a part of a team. That, and I got the Tide an in.” 

“Alright, you ready, little sibling?” Skye asked you as you both set up the mics. You nodded. 

She started the broadcast to the rest of the world, telling them what you had found on SHIELD and other organisations like it; the ones who covered things up. 

Peter sat in the driver’s seat, playing look out to see if anyone looked suspicious. He looked at you both through the mirror with a soft smile. His phone went off, it was Miles calling. 

“Used the same backdoor to the place you showed me how to open.” You said. 

“Wait, there was already a back door?” She questioned. 

“Yeah, it’s what I used to get into to get the data.” 

“You remember the company's name?” You shook your head. 

“No, shell company. What for? I do not know. Just know that it existed as a front for something else.” 

“I got my in. Started out not really sure of what to make of them. But, as it went on, we actually worked together well. It was -- It was like we were pieces to a puzzle.” At the pause, she seemed to almost have to catch herself.

“What happened there?” You pushed. This might’ve been it, this might be the key. 

“There was just… this guy. There was...something about him. A pull, in a way. He was like Peter, at first, then more like Miles. His name was -- his name was Grant Ward. He was -- uh….he wasn’t a good guy. I thought he was...but...” 

“I’m sorry.” You were genuine. 

Skye shook her head, “Don’t be, my friends got me out. They had my back, even when they found out why I joined.” 

She then put a pad on a table, “I’ve been using this to talk to Coulson about hte info you’ve been giving me. It’s notes, don’t worry. Just things for the mission. But...I think you’d be good at this.” 

“At what?” 

“At being an agent. Working alongside me, helping me. Just like old times.” 

Now it was your eyes that widened. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Them? You want me -- you want me to join SHIELD?” You asked, still shocked at the very thought of the offer. 

Skye scrunched her eyebrows together, “Yeah. I mean, these people you’re working for aren’t good people, Y/N.” 

“Oh, and SHIELD is?” 

“SHIELD has done some shitty things, I’ll admit. It’s not perfect. Nothing is. But, it’s trying to do good. We’re actually trying to help people. We’re making a difference.” Skye argued. 

“And I’m not?” 

“You helped people affiliated with fucking Nazi’s!” 

“When?!” You were both getting angry. 

She slammed the file down, opening it pointing at the name of one of your clients, “This. It’s a front for a Nazi organisation called HYDRA. You gave them valuable information.” 

“What information?” 

“On SHIELD agents and their locations. That thing you hacked? That thing with the back door already open? That’s a SHIELD server. You hacked a SHIELD server!” 

“I had to find you --”

“You had Peter.” 

“Had. Had is the keyword there.” That stopped her.

Miles and Skye darted dating. Nothing bad happened with her and Peter, they just realised they didn’t love each other in that way anymore. He was still a good friend to you both. 

“Skye.” Miles said as she stopped the van, “We need to get this new broadcast out.” He said. 

“I’m not leaving Y/N behind. I’m not leaving Peter behind. I’m not leaving our friends.” She said, firm toned. 

“Look, babe,” he took her hands in his own, “Just think about it, ok? You can, you know.” He was keeping it intentionally vague.

“Meanwhile, you two, you got the blowout job, right?” The ‘blowout’ job was one that had a big paycheck to it. 

Part of you should’ve known with the look Miles gave you compared to the one Skye gave you; her’s being one of concern, his being faux-concern. 

“Oh my god.” She breathed out, voice shaking, “He...he’s dead?” 

You only nodded, “I tried to find you both after, but you had both just...gone. It’s why I took off. I wanted to find you, and Miles wouldn’t take any calls or messages.” 

“He ran. He didn’t mention you when I found him, at all.” She said it all coming together for her. 

“How long is it until these guys do it to you, too?” That one stopped her cold. 

“They won’t.” She said, firm. 

“You and I both know they will. We both sold out, just in different directions. At least I’m not fooling myself.” You hated to be harsh, you hated the look of hurt on your best friend’s face. But, you had to be if she was going to see the ‘truth’. 

“I gave you up to protect you! What we did was dangerous!” She argued. 

“You don’t think I don’t know that, Skye? Now, here we you, with me in handcuffs and you playing in the very role we tried to take down. Except, this time, when it crashes and burns, it’ll be you whose left in the dirt as everyone else runs!”

“Y/N...they aren’t like that.” 

“Coulson seems the type. I mean, Miles did it, he has that same look to him.” 

“Stop --” She pleaded. 

“Did they brainwash you or something? Is that why you’re staying? Skye, I just want to know why. I wanna help you get out.” You were desperate for her to see that it was the whole reason for this. 

She leant forward, meeting you in your own movement forward, she had tears in her eyes, “They aren’t like Miles, they aren’t like the nun’s at the orphanage. These are good people, Y/N. They said they’d stay and they stayed. I betrayed them by joining with the intention of taking them down, and they let me stay. I get the hate we used to have for --”

“We? No, just me, Skye. You gave that anarchistic side when you sided with them. Skye, I’m trying to help you out here --”

“And I’m trying to make sure you get out of this without anything bad happening to you.” 

“And you think working with a bunch of suits will fix it?” 

“You think helping a bunch of Nazi’s kill a bunch of people that want to help is good?” 

“Better than selling your soul and your friends, Skye.” 

She stood up, not giving a response. If anything, the slamming off the door was the response.

You may have just lost your best friend. Your best friend in the whole world; someone who was akin to a sister figure for you. Someone who was loyal, and was. Someone like Peter. 

Someone like --

“I’m gonna unlock your cuffs. We’ve gotten the info we needed. Thank you for that.” Coulson said over the comm in the cell, his voice echoing all around it. 

“Sure. Anything for the greater good, right?” There was a sarcastic bite to your words. 

“For once? That’s true. We’ll take it and go after the funders. Any intel we can get is useful on them. I’m just sorry that this one came at a cost.” He sounded like he meant it. 

Then again, Miles also managed to fool you with that one. 

“Skye ever tell you about Peter?” You asked, out loud. 

“No.” Was the response from Coulson.

“That was our last gig together; going in for that one last big gig before we’d all run off together. Plan was to start again, buy ourselves a good home and live there, doing what we could for people in need. Then again, some of those people are the same as those at the top, just money hungry. Miles was one of them. And I -- I didn’t see it sooner.”  You had no idea why you were confessing to this man who you had only seen once. 

Maybe it was the fact that Skye trusted him, looked up to him. 

“I get it,” He said, “I get why you’re cautious. I get why you’re defensive of yourself and her. This worlds a scary place, filled with scary people --”

“I’m not six. Plus, Skye can take care of herself. Guess it’s just....” You paused. Coulson didn’t interrupt the whole time, “It was the way we worked, you know? Just us. Just us and the rising tide, doing the podcast and letting the world know about the truth.” 

“SHIELD has skeletons in it’s past, I won’t deny that. We’ve done things; covered up things and done even worse things. We aren’t clean. But, that was old SHIELD, this is the new SHIELD.” 

“Miles set us up” You admitted, “He sold Peter and me out, then Skye went into SHIELD. I don’t think he planned for her to go in as early, but there were always talks of it. Jesus, that fucker.” 

“How long were you on your own for?” Coulson asked. 

“Three years. Spent it finding any scrap I could on Skye. Then it led me here, with some dead agents on my hands.” 

“They made it out. We managed to warn them just in time. None of them know it’s you. Skye didn’t want you caught in the crossfire. She cares about you.” 

“Like you do with her.” You admitted. A DING! Occurred, and your cuffs unlocked. You scoffed as you rubbed your hands, “Might not have the deepest sympathies for you guys, but you do care about her, that means something. You’ve kept her alive so far.” 

“You did good yourself. Hard to track down. If only you hadn’t gone into that SHIELD server.” There was a hint of humour in his voice. 

You looked at the file she had made on you. Taking it, you opened it up. It was like a biography, with everyone she had known about you. She also had been able to find out some of the jobs you did. 

“You know I’m still pissed she sold me out, right?” You asked.

“That’s understandable.” Coulson said.

“Call her back in, think I’ve got something for her.” 

The door opened, with Skye walking back in. She took a seat at the table. You sat with your arms in front of you, “You ready, little sibling?” She asked, this time with what - almost - sounded like hope in her voice. 

“Ready.” 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You were taken out of your cell, looking around at the area. What you saw was people at work, some mainly in a lab. Skye just kept her eyes forward, leading you into a living area. 

In it, was Coulson and a woman around his age, “Y/N, this is May. She’s like the second in command here, just like you were for when we were in the tide.” Skye nudged you. 

You looked at her and scoffed, “I’m not fully a part of this ragtag group yet, Skye.” 

“Are you trying to do the right thing for the right reasons?” May asked you. 

“Depends on your definition of it.” You challenged. 

“Fight for the innocent.” She boiled it down to. 

You looked at your best friend before back to the others, “Yeah.” 

May nodded, sliding a laptop to the end of the table, “Use that, find us something, we’ll get geared up.” She said, walking passed you. However, as Coulson did, he gave your shoulder a pat in both a ‘thanks’, but also a ‘welcome to the team’. 

You looked at your sister figure, she shrugged, “Welcome to SHIELD.” 

You both went to the laptops, you went back to the message that got you into this in the first place. You traced it, finding a place that was abandoned. You zoomed in, giving the location to them. 

They flew there, with Skye leaving. However, before she did, she gave you a hug before she left. 

“Ok, Y/N, we’re here.” She said over the comms. You had live footage of the area. 

“Ok, the signal goes here. Just...be careful.” Was all you asked of her. 

“Of course.” She assured you, before going in. 

You had two newcomers enter the room, two british people; a man and a woman. 

“Oh, you must be Y/N. Nice to meet you, even if not under the best of circumstances. I’m Jemma.” She said, holding her hand. 

You shook it, before holding it out for the other guy, “Fitz.” He answered the silent question. 

“Is that them?” Jemma asked, taking a seat on one side of you, Fitz the other, both staring at the screen. 

“Should be.” 

“Y/N, we have a problem, it’s empty. The signal just leads to a laptop.” Skye, unfortunately, had to tell you.

“...Shit.” You fell back in your chair, face in hands. 

“Pull up the original message again?” Fitz asked. You did just so, “Look at the end,” You, again, did so, “It’s an anagram. Look, if you -- Jemma, help me.” He asked of his friend. 

“Oh, I see what you mean, Fitz. Yes, if you rearrange it, you get --” She stopped, looking at you for permission. You nodded. 

She typed in the new name you had, getting a ping, “There. They’re there.” She said, pointing to the new place. 

“Guys, we got them.” You said into the comms, giving them the new location. You shared a smile with Simmons. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You sat with Skye in Coulson’s office. He sat on the opposite side to the table, “Today was a success. And, I want to thank you for it, Y/N. Without that intel, we wouldn’t have found them.” He said with a smile. 

“I’m sure you would’ve.” 

“They’re just being modest. We appreciate it, Y/N. Really, you came through in the end.” Skye said, putting you on the shoulder. 

“Y/N, we’d like to offer you a place here. I understand you don’t agree with everything, and that’s fine. To be honest, I think we need that, now more than ever. It’ll be safer here, you’ll have company and you can do some good as you’ve always wanted to.” Coulson offered. 

“Plus, we can work together again. I mean, I’ll be out there sometimes. But...I missed my best friend.” Skye said, sincerely. 

You thought about it, the two just waiting for the answer. 

You finally looked up;

“Ok.” 

[hazbinhotelcanon]

Voxtagram posts - 16 June 2020 to 30 June 2020

These are all the “in character” posts & comments from the Helluva/Hazbin accounts that have recently been popping up on Instagram. Comments from other people aren’t included unless characters interact with them. Since Instagram doesn’t have a chronological feed & timestamps show only the date on posts older than 24 hours, I’ve listed the posts as close to chronologically as I can reconstruct.

I’ve seen tons of fans expressing annoyance/frustration at trying to keep up with these in character Instagram accounts and their new lore and plots. That’s the top reason I started this blog. If you want to see my ongoing logs of the in character Instagram posts, follow @hazbinhotelcanon​!

I’m gonna call these “Voxtagram posts” instead of “Instagram posts” because Hazbin/Helluva Hell's equivalents to our social media sites were apparently named for Vox—Voxtagram, Voogle, VoxTube, Voxcarto—so I’ll use that for the in-universe posts.

Since this is the first “Voxtagram” post, I’ve got a big disclaimer on how “canon” this material is; I’ll put it at the bottom of this post. First, the actual art!

Canon accounts featured in this post: just Blitzo (blitzorodeo) and Stolas (daddy_hoothoot).

16 June 2020

blitzorodeo Here at the stable!!! #horsethings #itwasonly5$$$$$$$$ #selfie❤️ #😈😈😈😈

17 June 2020

blitzorodeo I just cant choose what name to give my horse!! They’re just so good! Which is your favorite 🥺😈😛 #namesrhard #icantwaittowriteitdownagain

19 June 2020

blitzorodeo My horse and I went to the living world. How do you people deal with all this blue

janegumball Blitz, show us your horse blitzorodeo @janegumball 😮👏😢🙌😔 janegumball @blitzorodeo so no horse? Damn... 😔 blitzorodeo @janegumball Push pin (my horse) and i have a special relationship, you cant just ask for pictures of my horse

20 June 2020

blitzorodeo I got new riding boots!! My horse coupon 2.0 picked them out for me! :0) BT dubs, i changed my horses’ name to coupon 2.0

megan25gothiqueimmortel Youre awesome like always Blitzy blitzorodeo @megan25gothiqueimmortel 😍😍😍 yes i am good thanks 😋💖💕❤️

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Blitzō (@blitzorodeo) on Jun 20, 2020 at 1:40am PDT

blitzorodeo

Watching my favorite movie with my horse!!

#movienight🥺 #spiritismyfavmovie

blitzorodeo Maxipad and i can’t get enough of these lil iced bitches 🥰😛😋 BTdubs i renamed my horse to maxipad dont flame me 🔥🔥🔥 #icedcofee #mmmmiloveicedcoffee #donttslktomebeforeihavemycoffree

markzillow655 I feel like Blitz put some drugs in that drink blitzorodeo @markzillow655 its just iced coffee 😬

janegumball What name is on your horse’s birth certificate? blitzorodeo @janegumball 😳 thats a secret 😗❤️

watsurdamage dont tslk to me before i have my coffree probablyfakeblonde @watsurdamage leave him alone, he just wants to enjoy time with his horse watsurdamage @probablyfakeblonde what horse blitzorodeo @probablyfakeblonde 😔

21 June 2020

blitzorodeo WENT TO THE MOOOOVVVIIIEEESSSS!! 🥴 it was lame, no horses in this movie 😑👎 it suuuuxxxxxxx!!! Anyways my horses new name is nail polish #moxxiehasstinyPP #iatrtheirpopcorm #illreviewthrmovielater

lordskelecat Pics of the horse or it doesn’t exist blitzorodeo @lordskelecat YOU CANT JUST ASK FOR PICS OF MY HORSE!!! DONT FLAME ME!!! 🔥🔥🔥

blitzorodeo Throw back to last years halloween costume!!! My horse Latex glove said i should post it :0) Oh yea my horses new name is latex glove #iusedlotsofmakeuponmyhorns #andotherplaces;) #donthugmeillloosemymakeuponyou

akira282006 Isn't it in those clothes that blitzo appears in a Hazbin hotel scene?. By the way great costume👌 blitzorodeo @akira282006 i had to look fancy at the stufio 😎

markzillow655 That is awesome looking ngl blitzorodeo @markzillow655 😎🔥

22 June 2020

blitzorodeo My horse and i found this in Moxxies closet! LOOOL!!! Im pretty sure moxxie cant pull it off like Tupperware can. My horses new name is tupperware BTW🥺😎👍❤️ #bigdickenergyproblemslol #myjorsesnsmeistupperware #stolaseatmyass

radio_demon_husk He wouldn’t know about virginity after all he did sleep with stolas blitzorodeo @radio_demon_husk who the fuck is stolas

yaelgilbert He low-key kinda hot tho. blitzorodeo @yaelgilbert 😎😎😎😎😎😎😎

blitzorodeo GOD DAMN IT!! They gave me fucking HOT COFFEE!! 👿🔥 this is bullshit im about to to full karen on their asses!! BTdubs, my horses name is ICED COFFEE WHICH IS WHAT I WANTED!!! #bullshitbullshitbullshitbullshitbullshitbullshit!!!!

hellishgirly34 Do you like Moxxie xD? Spit the tea! blitzorodeo @licoholics nah he’s stinky.

23 June 2020

blitzorodeo Having my hotdog that my horse recommended. This guy wont stop talking to me. I changed my horses name to keystroke #thightuesday❤️😈 #hotdogtimeisagoodtime

yaelgilbert You gonna slurp that mustered off your lap or can I? blitzorodeo @yaelgilbert I want a happy meal first

blitzorodeo In a meeting rn, i love these filters LOL! My horse chose this filter :0) Their name is now snimmer~ #moxxieisatotalbabe #thattaghas100+onit #proovesmoxxieisbaby #:)😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈

janegumball Snimmer is a dumb name 👎 blitzorodeo @janegumball 🔥👿👎🔥

blitzorodeo Feeling cute today, calling my horse on an old clamshell phone! 😈❤️🌟#foundthisoldshotinaboxlol #missusingmyclalmshells

daddy_hoothoot My eyes have been blessed to see my dear Blitzy like this! You’re always so adorable.

bryan_fedrix what's the horse's name now? blitzorodeo @bryan_fedrix THANK YOU FOR ASKING, the name is shrinkwrap

25 June 2020

daddy_hoothoot Octavia said I needed an instagram account and surprised me this morning. Am I doing this right? #nofilter #wokeuplikethis

blitzorodeo 👎 daddy_hoothoot @blitzorodeo Oh, Blitzy, you know you love seeing this in the morning❤️❤️❤️ blitzorodeo @daddy_hoothoot 😔 not a horse

blitzorodeo 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

edwar_17_art Birb father daddy_hoothoot @edwar_17_art I’m not quite sure what a “birb” is but I am indeed a father. And a very proud one at that.

boiled_trash Daddy hoot hoot? Can you be my daddy~? daddy_hoothoot @boiled_trash I’m sorry, I already have a daughter

blitzorodeo Stolas came over and asked for my horse cook but snowcone (my horse) isn’t interested. 🥴👿😑

blitzorodeo BTW my horse is a master chef 🔥

daddy_hoothoot My, what a lovely pair of legs those are!

blitzorodeo At the pool with my horse! We both have pool floaties we stole from some kid together 🥺🔥😈

daddy_hoothoot Oh! You’re in the pool? blitzorodeo @daddy_hoothoot ................................. no........................... boiled_trash @karlaanimatesyt stolas is bout to join him karlaanimatesyt @boiled_trash Not it I get there first and stop him! 🤠 It’s our job to protect blitzo >:0!! blitzorodeo @karlaanimatesyt finally i have a human shield jaquiialeworld @daddy_hoothoot Stolas, I know how to make blitzo surrender to you, give him a horse blitzorodeo @jaquiialeworld i already have a horse 👎

wolf.nerd.geek Also Blitzo is so cute that face he is making can you send me a link to this pic please blitzorodeo @wolf.nerd.geek this is my selfie 😑🔥

thorns521 How do you feel about Stolas’s new account Blitzø? blitzorodeo @thorns521 I can never post a thigh pic again... daddy_hoothoot @blitzorodeo Don’t let me get in the way of you showing the world those hot thighs 😉

vinfer8 Who took the picture? 🤔 blitzorodeo @vinfer8 obviously my horse

boiled_trash What does your horse’s pool float look like? blitzorodeo @boiled_trash looks like a dragon 🐉

karlaanimatesyt Wow.... :0 What’s your horses name today? :D I’m interested!! blitzorodeo @karlaanimatesyt pool noodle 😎

nightmurr 🥺💕 you have such a cute little smile i- blitzorodeo @nightmurr 😎

princess_.ee Whats your horses name? blitzorodeo @princess_.ee FINALLY SOMEONE ASSKKED. Its Noodle, pool noodle

26 June 2020

daddy_hoothoot I spy a cutie 😈🥰 @blitzorodeo

pipunpkin i spy a SIMP daddy_hoothoot @pipunpkin If a “SIMP” means Sexy Imp then yes

watsurdamage Suspiciously with no horse... 👀 blitzorodeo @watsurdamage he went to use the bathroom obviously watsurdamage @blitzorodeo obviously boiled_trash @blitzorodeo where’s his pool float then??? watsurdamage @boiled_trash @blitzorodeo I think they’ve got you there blitz daddy_hoothoot @watsurdamage no one needs to pick on my Blitzy. If he says there was a horse there, there was a horse there.

blitzorodeo New icon fr da newme (My horse, typo, wrote that for me)

daddy_hoothoot 😘

maro.drawings blitzo your photos are always beautiful 👌💖 but I need to ask you something .... how much does a domicile murder cost? blitzorodeo @maro.drawings you have to get a consultation if you want a priiicceeeee 🔥

blitzorodeo So.. Remember, bushes are great places to hide... my horse, dixxie cup, hid in the bush next to me #hidingforgoodreasonslol #itskindafunnybutalsonotbecauseimstuckinabush #updatelateronthebushsituation

daddy_hoothoot Oh dear

janegumball Dixie Cup is a dumb dumb name 👎 horse name 0/10 blitzorodeo @janegumball DONT FLAME MEEEEE!!!!!! 🔥🔥🔥🔥

sirnasteryg87 is your horse okay? (´；д；`) blitzorodeo @sirnasteryg87 dixie cup is doin just fine, were both hiding in the

27 June 2020

blitzorodeo ok update, I was able to escape the bushes and I got an iced coffee, I'm fine looooool. My horse (named latex glove) also got one too. I think we'll come here more often to get coffeeeee #tastyasfuckman #iloveicedcoffeeitstasty

daddy_hoothoot Hope you’re enjoying the living world, Blitzy! Can’t wait to see you when you get back! blitzorodeo @daddy_hoothoot yea yea....

maichyartnoodles You look like you are doing an Ahegao, wtf?! blitzorodeo @maichyartnoodles weeb

thesydinator Just add some beta blockers with that iced coffee, and bam: you’re completely hammered blitzorodeo @thesydinator now THAT sounds like an idea 😎😎😍😍

ant_arts_entertainment I love horses blitzorodeo @ant_arts_entertainment this guy gets me

king_leb72 Damn why were you in the bushes blitzorodeo @king_leb72 i have my motives, im a pro

blitzorodeo This is the piñata that reminded me of moxxie LOL. Tortilla chip (my horse) said to give it to mills, I think she’d love it 🤣😈

daddy_hoothoot It’s cute but not quite as cute as a certain imp I know 😏 😈 angelmadefromhell @daddy_hoothoot Moxxie? daddy_hoothoot @angelmadefromhell Which one of the little ones are they? blitzorodeo @daddy_hoothoot Just remember our agreement and you can call me whatever you want... ill see you at 8 daddy_hoothoot @blitzorodeo Can’t wait! 😘

janegumball You took my name suggestion. If you change it again I’m afraid I’m gonna have to report your account. blitzorodeo @janegumball wtffff!!!!!

daddy_hoothoot Had myself a bit of a spook. Still not quite used to this phone. #dadprobs 🦉

blitzorodeo Use a filter daddy_hoothoot @blitzorodeo I’ll keep that in mind for next time

hellishgirly34 Stolas, why Blitzo was hiding in a bush? daddy_hoothoot @bluepatata I’m not quite sure. I tried to call him but he didn’t pick up.

daddy_hoothoot Got to spend the day with Octavia. 💖🖤#prouddad #saturdaysaremadefordads

ballora_x Wait, I have a good question, how can you're daughter hear everything in the Headsets wale she doesn't have ears? daddy_hoothoot @ballora_x we’re in Hell, dear. Living world logic doesn’t apply.

ricardo_silis_garcia_ I came to ask for your daughter's hand daddy_hoothoot @ricardo_silis_garcia_ not my hand to give. Besides she’s far too young for matrimony.

28 June 2020

blitzorodeo I drew a picture of msyulef as a horse :) im such a a creative guy!! my given horse name from my horse (Renamed to flavor dust) is blitzo2. if you translate it it's whIIIINNENEEE nay bRRRRRR HEEERRGH. #whatsyourhorsiename #stolasdontotinteract

blitzorodeo Im such a good artist boiled_trash @blitzorodeo you’re not a good artist, you’re an amazing one! blitzorodeo @boiled_trash 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍YOURE 👏 RIGHT👏👏👏

daddy_hoothoot You’re always so talented with your hands, Blitzy!

sugar.weaver My horse name is Tiny Whore - or Horse... I'm not fluent yet and they're pretty similar sounds... In horse that's PBBBF.. NNNEEHHHHHEH BPFF! BPFF! (The exclamation points are important to the translation) blitzorodeo @sugar.weaver i liked this 3 times. Your horse name is perfect PBBBF NNNNNEEEHHHEH BPPFF BPFFF, fucking amazing sugar.weaver @blitzorodeo Thank you so much, whIIIIINNENEEE nay bRRRRRR HEEERRGH, but you forgot my exclamation points and called me Clammy Ankles 😔😔😔 blitzorodeo @sugar.weaver i was being informal but ill remember next time 😔

momgimmeoreo How did you learn how to draw, Blitz? blitzorodeo @momgimmeoreo im just talented

beetle.ghosts omg you're so talented blitzorodeo @beetle.ghosts ❤️❤️❤️😍❤️😍❤️❤️❤️😍😍❤️❤️😍😍

andonijean Oh wow! This is a piece of art! I'll give you one hundred of apples for it~ blitzorodeo @andonijean WOW GIMMUE APPLE

aateabee Gosh, I wish my art was as good as yours, Blitzo. I feel unworthy when I look at your art. blitzorodeo @aateabee ❤️😎❤️😎❤️😎❤️😎❤️😎😎😎

aitesound666 I Love you art，will you draw moxxie as a horse? blitzorodeo @aitesound666 i should....!!!!!

karlaanimatesyt Blitzo! >:0 I LOVE YOUR ART, YOU ARE SUCH A GODDESS! Will you ever do more art? :D I would love to see some more! blitzorodeo @karlaanimatesyt wow.... yes... ill post more art 😍😍❤️😍❤️

boiled_trash Love your art, Blitzo! Have you considered doing commissions? blitzorodeo @boiled_trash im thinjing of opening them soon :)

kaldraws8280 Oh you should hang it on moxxies fridge! I bet hed love it! blitzorodeo @kaldraws8280 hed better....

leoleochleoleo you draw yourself as a horse because you like to lay on your fours for the old owl 7u7? blitzorodeo @leoleochleoleo FIRST OF ALL. Im a top, and second, i draw myself as a horse because its my SPIRIT animal >:(

blitzorodeo Some requests!! You guys really like my art 😋 i worked really hard on moxxies horsiebdrawing. He doesnt HAVE a horse name. Its just moxxie. My red crayon ran out i only had blue dont flame me preps

daddy_hoothoot 💖💖💖💖💖💖🥺!!! blitzorodeo @daddy_hoothoot its from that time you choked on a rat bone 🦴 daddy_hoothoot @blitzorodeo I still absolutely adore it! daddy_hoothoot @blitzorodeo There’s only one bone I enjoy choking on 😏 blitzorodeo @daddy_hoothoot STOLAS

megadoomed Do you take constructive criticism blitzorodeo @megadoomed no

nightmurr AN ART GOD 😳😳 blitzorodeo @nightmurr 😎🔥 i am really good at art

aitesound666 I think you deserve this 🙌🙌👏👏👏 blitzorodeo @aitesound666 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

useful.crew.too Your drawings and pictures bring me such joy!! blitzorodeo @useful.crew.too 😍❤️

mr_unknown15632 Your art work is amazing not gonna lie, the second drawing looks exactly like moxxie blitzorodeo @mr_unknown15632 doesnt it??????? 🙌🙌🙌

whereareallmyenchiladas honestly at this point put “artist” in ur bio🥺 ur art is way too good to not be recognized blitzorodeo @whereareallmyenchiladas so right

29 June 2020

blitzorodeo My horse, who i renamed to smart phone, said I should wear sunglasses. I trust my horses opinion :} #sunglassesonfunsout #ifuckinglovewearingsunglassesyoucantseewhatimthinking #galaxybrainzriseup

bootyprince damn u single bb? blitzorodeo @bootyprince always up for a good time 😎

aateabee Where’d you get the glasses from? I’d really like a pair like that! blitzorodeo @aateabee at my local sunglasses hut

blitzorodeo stolas sent me this picture earlier... not sure what he was trying to do but i think the camera went off after he posed.

daddy_hoothoot Oh! This is embarrassing. blitzorodeo @daddy_hoothoot 🤧

bootyprince send him one back blitzorodeo @bootyprince maybe i will....... blitzorodeo @blitzorodeo NOT daddy_hoothoot @blitzorodeo 🥺

blitzorodeo just saw Antz... Z reminds me WAAYYY too much of Moxxie... #pleaseshutuppleaseshutup

daddy_hoothoot I always feel amazing after a good preening 🦉❤️ #fluffyisthebest

blitzorodeo I came back for my left glove thats all 🔥🔥 daddy_hoothoot @blitzorodeo If you want to come by for the other one, we can watch one of those horse movies you enjoy 🐴

blitzorodeo @daddy_hoothoot ............... spirit........ ill bring my VHS but NOTHING FUNNY daddy_hoothoot @blitzorodeo I’ll get popcorn!

30 June 2020

daddy_hoothoot Movie night with Blitzy! 😈🦉🍿

blitzorodeo SPIRIT IS A VERY EMOTIONAL MOVIE

deparkjimin COUPLE GOALS.! They should get married now.❤️❤️❤️ blitzorodeo @deparkjimin we are NOT A couple! saquesealchingada @blitzorodeo That's what everyone says, what do you say Stolas? daddy_hoothoot @saquesealchingada I... It’s complicated

leoleochleoleo I thought that old man didn't know how to use netflix 0: daddy_hoothoot @leoleochleoleo Blitzy brought a VHS

mistress_of_insanity Are ya watchin' porn or somethin'? 👀🔥 blitzorodeo @mistress_of_insanity 👎👎👎👎👎 NO ITS SPIRIT

natycolrange OhHH we can Finaly see the Horse!! 🌟🌟 blitzorodeo @natycolrange its just a horse figurine, my horse went to the shitter

blitzorodeo I went to Mcdonalds and Mccucked this human womans wife lol. My horse said it was my charms and my daddy fingers. too bad I'm wild and free babybeeee #ihadamcflurryandlarrrggeeefries #cantfuckintamemeimfree #likespiritthehorse

daddy_hoothoot Oh...

trysteropup Need an imp with daddy fingers in my life blitzorodeo @trysteropup this is my absolute favorite comment

mr_unknown15632 My main question is, what’s your horses name? blitzorodeo @mr_unknown15632 THANK YIU FOR ASKINGGGG!!! Thr name is flame proof, cuz nobody can burn this biatch

hat_flap Hey Daddy Finger blitzorodeo @hat_flap hey baby maker

yaelgilbert At least return her horse frame to her. blitzorodeo @yaelgilbert NO.

probablyfakeblonde STOP STEALING MY SHIT!!! YOULL NEVER BE LIKE SPIRIT blitzorodeo @probablyfakeblonde DONT FLAME ME JUST CUZ I HAVE DADDY FINGERS AND YOU DONT! watsurdamage @blitzorodeo @probablyfakeblonde I mean he’s right blitzorodeo @watsurdamage @probablyfakeblonde cucked again probablyfakeblonde @watsurdamage @blitzorodeo honey please don’t do this, he’s already stolen my beautiful framed horse picture, I can’t lose you too 🥺 blitzorodeo @probablyfakeblonde its mine now, and im wild and free, cant tame me watsurdamage @blitzorodeo @probablyfakeblonde you heard him, like Miley he can’t be tamed

daddy_hoothoot A pleasant afternoon tea with my wife 😢

daddy_hoothoot Sorry, I meant to put 😌

aitesound666 Ok，a question。Who took the picture?😮 daddy_hoothoot @aitesound666 Butler

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Blitzō (@blitzorodeo) on Jun 30, 2020 at 1:46am PDT

blitzorodeo I tried animating and it’s sucks

janegumball Everyone in the comments is trying to spare your feelings, and you know it blitzorodeo @janegumball i think ur just jealous thet im amazing

blitzorodeo Loonie and I went out to the city! my horse Dominator got us there! :) #horseinthecityha #betterthanataxiiii #itfuckinfreeeee

daddy_hoothoot How cute, Blitzy! Perhaps someday we can arrange a little play date. I think our daughters would very much enjoy it. blitzorodeo @daddy_hoothoot Loona might be a little too old to do play dates.. daddy_hoothoot @blitzorodeo it’s more of an expression than an actual play date, Blitzy. I simply think they may get along.

bootyprince she looks just like u blitzorodeo @bootyprince the resemblance is uncanine

And that’s all the June posts!!

So! Since this is the first Voxtagram post, lemme include the big ol’ disclaimer that’s going to apply to all of these posts: we don’t yet know how canon these accounts are.

This is why they’re broadly accepted as canon: as far as I have been able to track back (correct me if you know better & have a source!), the first of these accounts, Blitzo’s, was found by fans because Vivzie followed it when it was brand new. Since then, new accounts have been discovered as they follow/interact with each other. Some official artists have interacted “in character” with the accounts. The accounts accurately announced when the “Addict” music video was going to come out, and some art posted before “Addict” used imagery that was also used in the music video. So either the accounts are definitely made by the canon creators or else being made by somebody who’s got inside access to the creators.

But, as far as I have seen, nobody on the Hazbin crew has taken credit for running them. More importantly, nobody has said how canon the blogs are. Maybe every image/word posted by these accounts is 100% accurate/canonical; or maybe the art is canon but the roleplaying in the comments is noncanon goofy fanservice; etc. We don’t know yet. It appears safest to say these accounts are probably mostly canon—but take it with a grain of salt.

So until we’re directly informed how canon the Voxtagram accounts are, Voxtagram posts are going to be tagged “#semi canon” (the same tag I’ll be using for stream transcripts) to indicate that it appears to be info coming from the creators, but it may or may not still be canon/accurate by the time the full shows and comics are released.

[vorish-musing]

Risky Business (IT Chapter Two)

Summary: Eddie is a monster hunter, he’s called back to his hometown, there's another man eating monster, he just never realized how fucked this job could be.

Warnings: this story contains soft, safe, G/t vore. if you do not like this, I suggest not reading. this is also not a story for the faint of heart, there is (not super graphic) moments of fatal/hard vore, digestion mention (does not occur), fearplay, and the usual cussing warning.  

Hi guys! its been so long! I’ll be honest, i was not planning on posting this, since this was a WIP discarded back in march, but while watching the movie again, I realized I needed to finish this, I really hope y’all like it!

NSFW DO NOT INTERACT

Risk analysis? Was that Job invented before fun?

Well, it Depends on what you call ‘fun’

For Eddie Kaspbrak, risk analysis is fun.

He couldn’t remember much of his past, all that he knew was that monsters existed, the ones that hid under your bed, the ones that prey in the night, he didn’t know how he discovered this for the longest time, he just... knew.

He knew he had to have encountered a monster at one point, but he just couldn't remember when.

His first instinct was to kill these monsters, though after further consideration of how the ethics of that worked, plus the morality of him being the judge, jury and executioner was pretty skewed. He decided to analyze these creatures, at least the ones he found. Witches, Vampires, werewolves, ghosts.

So yeah, he was a Risk Analysis, he analyzed creatures that we’re a risk to human kind.

And yes, it was Fun.

Being a part of a small group of people who knew these monster movie critters existed was something he wished he could brag about.

Though everything changed when he got that call from Mike Hanlon, Begging him to come back to Derry to fight that clown. That damned clown.

His memories flooded back, the childhood trauma of that summer, 1989, when everyone they knew started turning up missing, really they were dead, nothing more than food to the demon living in the sewers

It was then, fighting that demon, when he realized that analyzing these monsters wasn’t enough anymore.

They were not a risk, they were a threat.

Once he got back to his home in new york, he began his own business, he tried finding his way into different circles, ones he never thought existed, multiple people with stories of slaying beasts of all shapes and sizes, and he was now one of them.

He got a second phone, one he could use for his side job, he went under an alias, Richie Marsh. Not creative, a little embarrassing,  but it worked.

He would get calls almost daily, he made pretty good money, but he had one rule, only kill if it had harmed first. He always turned the monsters who had done no wrong away, allowed him to get some sleep at night, knowing that he was saving others lives while doing this.

Hell, the first time he met a vampire, the dude just chilled alone in a cabin in the woods. Not bothering anybody.

He began making a name for himself in the business and it had only been a year, it was impressive to all about his knowledge, how much he knew about these creatures, how fearless he could be.

Up to this day, he scribbled down notes about the varying creatures he saw and met. Sitting in his living room, the constant scritch of his pencil was interrupted by a ringing from his pocket.

He took his ‘work’ phone out of his jeans, putting the device to his ear.

“Hello?”

“Is this Richie Marsh?” A familiar voice was heard on the other end, but he couldn’t quite place it.

Eddie ran a hand through his hair, thankful his phone had a voice modifier, just in case he actually knew the person on the other line.. Even though chances of that were slim to none. “Depends who’s asking”

with one hand, he took a sip of water in a glass, while with the other he opened a new page in his notebook, ready to write down this stranger's name.

“My name is Mike Hanlon, I was given this number by a friend, he told me you could help me”

Slim to none huh?

Eddie coughed up the drink back into his cup,“M-Mike Hanlon?”

“Uh...yes, I...I need your help”

Eddie scribbled down the name very quickly, though nothing in the world could make him forget it. “with what? What's going on?” he felt his heart racing, he didn’t want any of his friends to know what kind of danger he was putting himself into, he didn’t want them to know, or even try it themselves.

“Well… I live in Derry, Maine. There was a curse in this town...right? A monster, it killed a lot of people, but me and my friends… we stopped it.” Mike's voice sounded nervous.

“I...see…” Eddie’s voice wavered, hoping that this wouldn’t be another call back to defeat a killer clown “if you stopped it, why are you calling?”

“Because people are going missing again, but I know it's not what we fought, it's something else, nothing is being left behind, they’re just...vanishing.”

Eddie scribbled a few words down, his throat getting dry as he began to sweat nervously “okay...what's the age range of the missing persons?”

Please don't be kids….please don’t be kids.

“All adults, the other creature went for children, and those killings lasted for a year at least. This happens every few weeks, from my calculations, it's once every 3 weeks, and if I'm right, they're supposed to be here by Friday, they start hunting at night.”

Eddie couldn’t help but let out a sigh of relief as he wrote what mike was saying down, opening his laptop and began booking a flight for Friday afternoon “okay, got it. have you seen this creature.”

There was an awkward pause, before Mike answered, almost embarrassed, “No.”

“Then how do you know all of this?” He wanted to believe Mike was reading too much into things, that Derry wasn’t being terrorized with another monster.

“Because one of the missing people has come back, and she came to me-- I’m somewhat of a Private eye in this town” Eddie smiled--good for him, making a name for himself in Derry.

“I talked with this one lady, she told me that she didn’t remember much, but whatever was out there, her two friends were killed, she didn’t tell me how they died, or even how she escaped...she just woke up..”

Eddie scribbled some more “do you know how many there are?”

“No. but I believe there's more than one, if you come in the next few days we can meet up and-”

Eddie shot up out of his seat “NO!” he heard mike go silent, before adding “uh...no...i’d rather uh...keep my face a secret”

Mike let out a laugh “of course, of course. We will have to talk more though, I have many notes and things that I’ve observed-”

‘Text me them, I have to go”

“But-”

Eddie hung up before he could hear the rest of that sentence, falling back into his seat. He put both hands on his face and sighed loudly.

He had to go back to Derry, and he had to avoid seeing Mike there too. He let out a groan, sitting up and finishing the booking process, it was only two days away, but that gave him enough time to pack everything he needed.

Those two days went by very fast. Mike tried to pay, but Eddie insisted it be free, not wanting to take money from his friend. Next thing he knew, he was on a plane to Derry, a rental car waiting for him and another traumatic nostalgia trip was in his future.

Once the plane landed, he quickly made his way through the airport, wearing a baseball cap in a poor attempt to hide his face. He got into his rental car, driving as fast as he (legally) could on the roads to his hotel room, texting Mike that he had landed, and was going to scope out the locations where Mike had claimed the creatures were.

As he drove through the streets, he began noticing the missing persons signs, it reminded him of when he was young, and there were people he knew going missing. He shook his head. Whatever those creatures were, He was sure he would stop it.

He parked his car in front of the hotel, getting a room key and making his way up with his bags. He used to be very particular where he stayed, but as the months went on with this job, he would just take what he could get.

As he settled in, he got another call from Mike.

“If you need any help, I’m no stranger to killing monsters, just give me a call” Mike sounded worried, but it also sounded like he wanted Eddie to say yes to him coming along, but the man couldn’t bring himself to ask.

“I’m fine Mr. Hanlon. Thank you.”

“Okay, most of the missing persons were last seen around the woods, be careful, the trees go on and on, outside of the town and basically into the next, which is an hour away when Driving” Mike explained a few more things about the town, which of course, Eddie already knew about.

After speaking for a few more minutes about the plan, Eddie hung up the phone, it felt so awkward to be speaking to him under his alias, it was the most disconnected he had ever felt while on the job.

Once he gets all of his hunting gear in order, he puts it under the bed, just in case housekeeping decides to come in, and promptly leaves the room.

If he had to be here for the next day or so, he could at least go out and get some food.

As he walked down the streets of Derry, he made sure wherever he would go, nobody was following, and that nobody who knew him could recognize him.

He soon settled on a cafe near the hotel, walking into the establishment and ordering coffee with a BUNCH of espresso shots inside, after all, he needed all the energy he could get. He was usually much more healthy, but on jobs, he needed as much caffeine as humanly possible.

Sitting at an empty booth in the cafe, he took his journal out, scribbling a few notes down, his plan, he never really needed a plan, but it was nice to have one. He was sure this was a simple case that would be solved in less than an hour, so he didn’t pay much mind to it.

The barista comes to his table, setting his cup of pure caffeine down. Before she could leave, Eddie pulled out a $20 bill out of his wallet, giving it to her

“Save up every cent, get out of this town, it’ll be good for you” she gave him a confused look, like she was expecting him to pull it away as a joke, but with a look in his eyes, she took the money.

The barista smiled, her eyes bright and much more charismatic than his, “thank you sir.” she pocketed the money in her apron “ and that's the plan, as soon as I have enough money, I’m leaving this hell hole--just me and my shitty van. all the way to broadway”

He nodded as she walked away. He took a sip of his bitter drink, going over his notes a few more times--now should I ambush or wait--

“Eddie?”

His heart stopped dead as he snapped his head up, hearing his name, slamming the book closed.

His eyes met Richie's, who seemed equally as shocked to see him there. They stared at each other for a few moments.

W...why is he here?! He...he can’t be here now...what the fuck?

There was something off in Richie's overall appearance, he looked very sick, malnourished, hunched over and wearing clothes that looked like they hadn’t been washed in weeks, his eyes looked like he was coming straight from the morgue.

Though his face was one of shock and confusion as to why Eddie was in Derry that night, Eddie was almost disappointed Richie was not happy to see him there.

“Holy shit trashmouth” Eddie sat up straight “What the hell are you doing here?” He motioned for Richie to sit down, which the man obliged to very quickly.

“Just passing through, I have to get down to uh… Ludlow, Maine.” to this, Eddie was confused, it sounded like Richie was making things up on the spot “I uh...got a show down there, w-what are you doing in Derry?”

He knew when Richie was lying, he always knew, he never told Richie this, but since they grew up together, he watched the mannerisms he had when lying, and could always tell ever since.

But that's because he didn’t want to look stupid, believing what Richie said. Definitely not because he liked to watch the man, and DEFINITELY not because he admired him for lying with so much ease.

Definitely not.

Eddie nodded, taking a sip of coffee “Just uh…” he quickly thought of a lie, “Visiting Mike, I wanted to surprise him, plus, wanted to get away from New York for a while”

“Interesting.” Richie’s eyes fell to the journal Eddie was desperately trying to keep hidden “Aw, does Eddie have a diary?”

Eddie let his face falter a bit, showing off his worry, pulling his journal “its it’s for work, asshat” he narrowed his eyes.

Richie, one who usually would keep poking at Eddie, slumped back a bit “Well, I gotta get going, Nice seeing you around.” he stood up, ready to walk away.

“Wait, come on.” Eddie looked up at the man, extremely confused “are you okay, man? If I'm honest, you look like shit.”

“Yeah i'm...fine.I just gotta get some...thing to eat” Richie eyed him up and down slowly, before exiting the building without another word.

Eddie just stared at the door as Richie walked away, well, not really walking, he was pretty much stumbling away.

Though as he left, the two men from before waved at Richie, like they knew him...probably just fans, Eddie couldn’t afford to read too much into things.

He shook his head, taking another sip of his coffee and reopening his book once again, Richie was probably drunk, and there was no surprise there. Eddie noticed how much Richie would drink last time they met, and this behavior didn’t surprise him.

But it was strange.

He quickly finished up his cup of coffee, placing his cup at the edge of the table, another waitress quickly coming to pick it up as he left the coffee shop, holding onto his journal tightly as he walked through Derry.

He checked his phone, a few missed messages from Mike, sharing a few more of his findings, but Eddie couldn’t bother to read them, his mind was only on Richie.

Why was he lying? What was he doing here? Questions whizzed around his head. Did Richie know something? Did Mike call him too?

Eddie sighed, he better get back to his hotel room, no use thinking about it now. He had a task at hand, and he had to get ready in the next few hours.

And that he did.

He was prepared for everything, he had a few guesses to what the monster was, a werewolf, a demon? but nothing really fit perfectly. demons kill people, but it's not like they would let people escape. Werewolves fit better, you could escape one, but they were not very...cleanly with their kills.

Whatever it was, it was going to be killed, no matter how many there were.

An alarm went off in his phone, letting the man know it was time to leave, get to the woods and start investigating.

He grabbed his bag, filled to the brim with gear, and headed out the door, texting Mike that he was headed out, and that the man needed to refrain from further messages, until Eddie had texted first of course.

He placed his phone back into his pocket, swiftly leaving the building. It was only a twenty minute walk to the forest, but if it felt like forever, his body felt shaky, like he should just turn around.

He never felt like this before, he chalked it up to nerves, with being back in Derry. Something in him still believed it could be IT, but he knew that wasn’t the case. If it was, ‘Richie Marsh’ wouldn’t be out, it would be the losers.

Before he even knew it, he was in the woods, walking down a manmade concrete pathway, exactly where Mike told him to go, trees making it seem like he was walking through a hedge maze.

As he walked down the path, it seemed to get more and more confusing, like he couldn’t even remember where he was going, but thinking it was nerves, he kept going.

His heart stopped as he heard a woman's scream break the cold silence of the night, the sound of heels clicking on the concrete coming closer and closer.

As quick as he could, he bolted towards the sound of the woman, following her voice. He carefully took out a  gun from his bag as he ran down the pathway, his finger on the trigger.

Soon enough, a woman came into his field of vision, she was wearing a black apron, a dirty white shirt caked in blood, and a tattered pair of shorts.

it was the Barista from the coffee shop, She waved her arms wildly as she ran towards him, stumbling around like an animal.

“Please! Please help me! He’s gonna kill me!”

Eddie placed the gun back into his bag, putting it on his back and grabbing onto her as she ran into him.

Her makeup was running down her face, blood all over her skin, her hair was a mess, what once was a perfect simple bun, was now tangled with branches and all kinds of dirt in it.

“Ma’am calm down its okay we just-”

“No you don't understand! We can’t stay here we have to run!” She whisper-yelled at him, grabbing his arm and pulling him into the trees, straying from the pathway. “If they find us they’ll kill us!” she pulled him into a ditch, her breath shaky and tears flooding down her face.

“Okay… Okay take a deep breath, what the hell happened?” Eddie reached into his bag, grabbing his first-aid kit, ready to seal up any wound on her.

She took deep breaths, holding onto her arms as she shivered “these two guys, he… came into the cafe I work in, He was so nice” she let out a laugh, sniffling a sob. “I was so stupid, he asked me and my coworker out, and we said yes, it was supposed to be a walk in the woods, a nice walk… “

“Where’s your coworker now?” Eddie pulled out a cloth to wipe her off with, before he could give it to her, she began sobbing.

“The man…the thing! It ate her!” she said through her sobs. “While we were walking, they… they began saying weird things, like ‘dinner is ready' we didnt know what they meant! They meant us! This man came out of the woods, i called out to him, he just looked away, I think he was one of them.”

As she spoke, he watered down the cloth, giving it to her. “he...ate her?”

She sighed, wiping her face with the cloth, “this is going to sound crazy…”  she hesitated, sniffling again as she looked at him.

“I deal with crazy almost 3 times a week, this is why I’m here, you’re gonna be okay, this is my job.”

She nodded nervously “there was another man there, he was in the trees, before we could even say anything, all three of them...grew..into giants...and… my coworkers date...he picked her up and…”

She suddenly fell into a crying fit once more, falling into eddies lap, he rubbed her back, trying to console her.

“He… he bit her in half!” she screamed through sobs. “I got away, the one in the trees just watched me, who knows how close he is.”

He felt sick as she cried, and Eddie looked away from her… this wasn’t what he expected, no wonder nothing was making sense, there was nobody, because they would eat it.

He was about to say something, as they heard the sound of leaves crunching and branches breaking. “It's not my fault you lost the bitch”

The girl froze, her cries stopping out of fear, she covered her mouth. She shared a terrified look with Eddie, who shared the same look.

“Well it's not mine either, I was in the middle of eating!” the man sounded so nonchalant when talking about murder, but then again, most monsters weren’t remorseful.

“Will both of you shut the fuck up and just get on with it?” the voice sounded eerily familiar, but he couldn’t concentrate on it now.

The three men kept bickering, and the barista nodded to eddie, pointing to the other side of the ditch, mouthing the word “run”

He shook his head wildly, mouthing the word “no” over and over, if she did this, she would be dead.

Either she thought it would work, or she didn’t care if she died, but she ran up the side of the ditch, then began dashing through the woods once again, ignoring Eddie's silent pleas not to.

Instantly two out of the three men yelled, and began running as well, though their footsteps began getting louder and louder, Eddie shrunk back, trying to hide as best as he could.

He watched in horror as one of the giants walked over the ditch, which took them only one step, right above him, then another, then another, it was too dark to get a good look at any of them from his disadvantaged point.

But luckily, with all the noise they were making, he was able to run to the other side of the ditch, running up and hiding behind a large tree, digging through his bag, the best luck he would’ve had with killing these things, was his machete, thanking god that he actually brought it.

Eddie held it tightly to his chest, slowly turning to see what was happening.

“Let me go!” the Barista screamed as she was picked up by the giant, flailing around in his grip.

“Oh I’ll let you go alright,”

She gave him a strange look, before returning to her screams as he lifted her up over his head, his mouth agape.

“I’ll let you go now”

Eddie turned back behind the tree, hearing her screams as she was dropped into the giant's mouth, he wasn’t looking, but his mind pictured it. He felt sick to his stomach, anger bubbling up inside of him

He heard the screams of the woman suddenly stop, and a silence filled the air. Eddie knew what this meant, he felt like he was ready to vomit, his stomach twisting in knots

“Y’know you don't have to drag it out.”

“What? You’re just mad because you got jack shit, maybe you shouldn’t be so picky”

Eddie listened to the three bickers, waiting for the right time to move from tree to tree, making sure they couldn’t see him as he got closer.

In his head he knew this was a bad idea, that he was going to get caught, but this was the first time he had ever actually met a victim, he talked with her, even if it was brief, it pushed him more than anything else did, this wasn’t about money, for the sake of the town, no…

It was for Her.

He took a deep breath as he prepared to move to another tree, planning to climb it and attack in a much better position.

“Ah! I thought I heard something!” Eddie froze, hearing a booming voice behind him.

He. was. Fucked.

He instantly spun around, waving the machete up, he heard the giant let out a yell as the blade bit into its hand, which was about to grab eddie.

shitshitshit

Eddie backed up a bit, before taking off in a run, but it didn’t help, another came barreling in.. barrelling in Eddie's eyes, it was pretty much just a few steps for the giant, the last one just hung out in the back, basically ignoring the interaction.

Eddie prepared to swing again, but the giant in front of him didn’t move, just smirked, catching Eddie off guard, allowing the one behind him to snatch him up.

“Shit!” Eddie yelled as the sneak attack made him drop the machete on the ground.

“You little fucker…” the giant lifted him off the ground at a speed that made Eddie sick, never in his life had he wanted to be on the ground more than he was now, the cold wind made him cringe as he was face to face with the Giant.

Surprisingly, the man looked fairly normal, he wore a plain blue shirt with some black jeans, nothing like any fairy tale would describe it.

His eyes were damn near murderous, he held up his other hand ‘look what you fucking did.” Eddie struggled in the giant's grip, which only made the man laugh, “what? Little hunter doesn’t know what to say?”

Eddie sputtered a bit, how did they know he was a hunter?

“Looks like you got dinner after all, huh Rich?”

“Don’t fucking call me that.”

Rich...Rich...that voice...is that...NO….NONONO

Eddie's head whipped around as the third giant came closer to the other two...those glasses, those clothes...those eyes.

When those eyes met him, they shared the same look, the exact same look that they shared at the coffee shop. Eddie wanted to yell, but it seemed all the sound had left his body.

That's why Richie was in Derry...

“What's the matter?” the giant holding him pulled him closer, “don’t like knowing that you’re dinner?” he chuckled devilishly, Eddie didn’t respond, too horrified at richie to even register what the giant was saying “hey fucko! You listening?”

The giant shook Eddie a bit, still nothing, he gave a look to the other stranger, who just nodded, the same devilish smile pasted onto his face.

Without another word, he let Eddie go, plummeting towards the earth.

Eddie let out a loud yelp, it was almost in slow motion for him, falling through the air, hitting the cold, hard ground, he was sure a rib or two were fractured just by the pain he felt in his chest, but the pounding in his head was much...much worse. He couldn’t move, he could only listen to what they had to say.

“Why the fuck did you do that?” Richie pushed the giant who was holding Eddie, not even caring to remember his name “you could’ve just given him to me.”

Richie's heart sank as he saw the hunter in the giant hand, Eddie, he knew Eddie was lying about why he was in Derry, Eddie was just simply, a bad liar. But he had never expected something like this, he never wanted any of the losers to find out about this. It was bad enough he was hunting in Derry, only a mere half hour from Mike.

“Why not? The little fucker wouldn’t listen, so I gave it what it deserved.”

He felt anger overflow him as the giant talked about Eddie in this way, but he stayed silent, bending down, and picking up Eddie by the collar of his jacket, his body dangling at it rose up.

Eddie could barely move, everything hurt, he knew he was being lifted up once again, but he couldn’t do anything about it, what was he to do, his ribs were broken, he was winded and he was basically a doll to these guys.

He could hear Richie talking to the two, but he couldn’t really understand it, until one sentence was asked.

“So, You gonna chew ‘im?”

This sent Eddie back into his fit of panic, adrenaline coursing through his veins, he began cursing, kicking, wildly flailing. The two giants just laughed.

“Come on richie, you can chew this once, trust me, so much better experience.” Eddie couldn’t tell which of the two giants spoke, but he begged to whatever was out there, that Richie wouldn’t go through with it.

“I’m not a fan of blood, you should know that by now.” Richie rolled his eyes, his gaze back to Eddie, his heart breaking as he watched the man flail around, knowing he was in pain by the look on his face.

“The bitch thought he was going to kill us, he cut my fucking finger! Let him have it!” the giant pushed richie slightly, Richie giving him a glare.

“He's going to die anyways, why can’t I let myself enjoy him squirm?” Richie spoke, monotone. “I like how it feels when they go down.”

It was enough to make Eddie sick.

“It's your last hunt with us, go out with a bang! You got a fucking hunter after all…treat it like it treats our kind!”

“Fuck off, let me do it.'' His tone seemed almost protective, but with Eddie hearing a low gurgle of the man's stomach, Eddie knew it was like an animal protective of its prey.

The two just sighed, watching Richie...just...waiting.

Eddie paused as the giants fell into silence, staring up at Richie with tears in his eyes, his vision was blurry, and his head kept feeling worse and worse. “Please...don’t do this…” he found his voice, only to say that.

What else was he supposed to say? It was rich! The man he grew up with, the man he fought a killer clown demon with….the man...who was about to eat him.

Richie just sighed, lifting Eddie up carefully, much more carefully than the others would even dare, tilting his head up and placing Eddie right on his tongue. Letting go of the man and shutting his mouth.

Eddie's heart dropped at the quick action, Richie not even hesitating before putting Eddie into his mouth.

The heat inside richies mouth was enough to make Eddie let out a yell, going from chilly weather and a biting wind to a human sauna was not the best transition. The sensation of the wet, squishy muscle underneath him giving him a dose of reality-- He pushed against the roof of the mouth, hoping to re-open the mouth, but from the angle he was at, the throat was just becoming him.

He attempted to climb up the tongue, but no matter how close he would get to almost getting out, the saliva around him beckoned him down the tight, hot throat.

“Let me out!” Eddie yelled, but he knew it was no use, that Richie wouldn’t let him go, not after this. “Let me out you...fucking bastard!”

This was it? This is how he would go, he fought almost every dangerous creature in the book and won but he HAD to be eaten by someone he called a friend?

He felt himself getting weaker and weaker, his breath becoming more and more shortened with each breath. He found himself almost allowing his body to be pulled and squished around by the tongue, which happily licked at him.

He yelled as richie rolled him around, coating him in thick saliva in the process, but he really couldn’t do anything about it, the fear and fatigue getting to his head.

As the throat beckoned him down, he clawed at the tongue to keep himself out of the hot, wet esophagus “don’t do this!”

His words were met with no answer, but with a swallow.

Eddie yelled as his lower half was pulled into richies throat, he couldn’t move, which made him flail around even more, this was met with another swallow, thick muscles pulling the rest of him into the hungry throat and down the man's gullet, it was almost second nature to the man.

It must’ve been only a few seconds, but it felt like hours as he slid down the esophagus, unable to move and his Eddies head spinning with anxiety.

The one word spilling into Eddie's mind was only ....”Why?”

He pushed against the esophagus in an attempt to stop himself from sliding down any further, but all the saliva clinging to him and his clothes wouldn’t let him.

Suddenly, Eddie felt his legs slip into the stomach below him, gurgles and growls heard below him. As the rest of him slipped inside the belly, the whole experience became very...very real.

His head was dizzy from the lack of oxygen in the throat, and he couldn’t stop shaking at the thought of this being the final place he would be alive, nobody would know Richie had done it.

And that's the last thing Eddie Kaspbrack remembered, before passing out completely.

----------------------

Richie paused as he felt eddie go limp on his tongue for a few moments, he was scared this was too much for the little guy and his heart gave out, but the small man began to thrash around once more, which in a dark way, got him relieved, so he could continue.

This was a disaster, he hated how he had to eat people already, but the fact that it was Eddie made everything so much worse.

Richie should’ve known something was up when he saw Eddie in that cafe, he just couldn’t focus with the hunger eating him up inside.

Now it wasn’t only hunger eating him up...it was guilt.

He rolled Eddie around on his tongue a few more times, capturing the taste of the man.

he hated to admit it, but people tasted so good. It was almost like a drug for him, nothing really could sustain him for long, except for this. The longest he could go without eating a person was three weeks, he would move town to town with his tour, every few weeks swallowing a person to keep his energy up.

He carefully swallowed a few times, his Adam's apple bobbing as he brought his head back down, he could feel Eddie sliding slowly down his gullet, esophagus stretching as he did so it felt so...normal for him, like it was second nature.

One thing he was grateful for, was that he was the only guy that night who didn’t have a meal already lined up.

The past few weeks, meeting up with these guys got worse and worse, they were cruel, but for some reason they liked him, and would not leave him alone no matter how much he demanded them to, but tonight they agreed that tonight could be their last night

They always wanted it to be Derry, maybe because they lived there, maybe because the people tasted better. Richie didn't know, all he did was agree, since he didn't want one of their victims to become someone that he cared about. .

He felt guilty knowing the fates of the other two girls, but he knew he couldn’t stop it, they chose to kill those girls, they could’ve safely eaten them, but they chose to kill, which they thought he chose as well. He couldn’t change this, and it made him sick just to think about it.

As the two other giants shrank back down to their normal height, RIchie didn’t even bother to remember the jackasses names, they looked up at him.

“Sad to see ya go! Maybe we’ll meet up again!” one of them spoke, the other just nodded, before they both walked away.

sickos...

Richie stayed silent and still until they got out of sight, before letting out a deep breath, holding onto his stomach as he felt eddies body slip inside of it, it felt so...good to have someone in there again

But all according to plan,  he felt Eddie pass out, feeling his shallow breaths as he lay unconscious in his belly.

He was going to be okay...

----

It's too hot, It feels like I’m melting...I can’t move...I have to get out of here...I have to…

Eddie's eyes snapped open at the sound of a car horn, and a familiar yell, his head throbbing and he almost jumped out of his seat, he would’ve if he didn’t have his seatbelt on…

Seatbelt?!

Eddie's head snapped in every direction as he looked around, he was in a car, a blanket covering him...not where he thought he was...did...did he actually...no...he wasn’t...he couldn’t be… he wasn’t inside of a...

Richie let out a yell as Eddie popped up, making him swerve the car violently into the left lane, then back into the right lane, causing a chorus of more car horns to indicate that what he just did was an asshole move.

“Jesus fucking christ Eddie!” Richie yelled, “you scared the shit out of me!” he kept his eyes on the road, but the shock poured off of him like sweat.

Eddie just stared at richie as he drove, he could feel his body shaking at the sight of the man… he stammered for a moment, but he was only able to get out one word.

“Y-you…” his voice cracked a bit.

He didn’t want to believe it was true, but his clothes and hair being damp pointed out that might be the case, he felt his eyes sting with the threat of tears, never before had he felt this much Terror.

“I what eddie? I saved your life, what the fuck were you doing there?! If I wasn’t there you’d be fucking dead!” Richie turned to Eddie, giving him an angry look.

Richie was angry… at him?!

As Eddie got a good glypse at Richie, he noticed the man's face was red, his eyes a bit puffy, and he was shaking profusely, not to mention the cracks in his voice and the tears rolling down his face.

Richie was crying...Richie never cries…

“You actually...you fucking ate me?!’” Eddie finally worked up the courage to yell “What the fuck man?! I thought we were friends?!” his hand fell to his side, instinctively grabbing his knife holster, though only grabbing nothing, his knife lost in the fight earlier.

Richie didn’t respond, he just kept staring at the road. This just made Eddie angrier.

“You fucking piece of shit!” Eddie pulled the blanket off of him, shivering as his damp clothes absorbed the cold air around him. “You didn’t even tell any of us, you are a fucking m-monster!”

Again, silence, but he could see richie white knuckling the steering wheel.

Eddie could feel hot tears coming down from his eyes, “what's your plan now?” he couldn’t see himself leaving this vehicle alive, unless he hopped out the car door right now, even then he had a higher chance of ending up dead. “you should’ve made it quick like those other two fuckers did” he mumbled quietly.

Suddenly, Richie swerved across a few lanes, making Eddie slam into the car door instantly, which caused another abundance of yelling and anger from the man.

Richie didn’t say a word as he moved off of the highway, onto a local road, close to the treeline of the woods, slamming on the breaks at the closest place he could pull over at.

Eddie couldn’t help but be afraid of Richies silence, his slight shakiness as he held the wheel and the fact that Richie refused to make eye contact as he cried.

“I could’ve killed you.”  Richies voice cracked a slight bit.

Eddies heart sunk hearing those words, he could feel every bit of fear he had felt before hit him once again “R-Richie...I-I-”

“I could have done everything I said I would out there, and you could imagine what they would do if I wasn’t there…”

“Richie...p-please-”

“But I wouldn’t...I...I can’t Ed’s!” Richie lost all of his composure, and began yelling “I couldn’t let anything happen to you! What the hell were you thinking going after us? You could’ve died, Killing IT was one thing, but you’re alone!”

Eddie stared at him with a shocked expression, he felt his face flush, even if he was angry and scared, he was almost embarrassed, he felt like a child being berated by a parent, he frowned.

“You. ate. Me.”  Eddie spoke, emphasizing each word. “You ate me and you’re giving me shit?”

“But you’re still alive, hm?” Richie gestured up and down to Eddie, “nothing Hurt huh? You’re welcome.”

Those words actually got through to Eddie, “how am I...not dead…”

Richie sighed, hearing Eddie's tone, not angry, just...scared. “I’m not like them, Eddie. It's safe, because I’m safe…” Richie pinched the bridge of his nose “fuck that didn’t make sense, I..Its just something I can do.”

Eddie got a good look at Richie at this point, the man was no longer disheveled, he looked like he was good as new, no bags under his eyes, he didn’t look like he was going to pass out anymore...he looked healthy.

Eddie, felt tired, nauseous, and felt like he was about to pass out, they practically switched places. t

“What did you do to me…?” Eddie asked, which richie let out a small chuckle.

“Unlike Them”  he spoke of the two like it was bad luck to even think of them “I can’t digest living things, i uh… do have to eat living creatures though” he looked at Eddie, answering before the man could ask the question “I take energy, that's why you passed out, you came on the right day honestly, i usually wait a while before eating.”

“That's why there were survivors, that's how Mike knew--”

“Mike knows?” it sounded like a stupid question, but it had never crossed his mind. “How much does Mike know?” his voice was desperate, almost terrified.

“Not much… one girl that you...let go...talked to him about what she remembered…”

Richie shook his head “Fuck!” he yelled, slamming his hands on the wheels. “I left her on the pathway, watched her wake up, she shouldn’t have known about what happened.”

Eddie jumped at the slam “She didn’t remember anything, she thought escaped on her own, Mike has no idea what's going on, he...doesn’t even know he sent me here.”

“How the fuck doesnt he know?”

This is where Eddie began to feel nervous again-- what to say?

“A simple alias and a voice modifier did the trick.” Eddie rolled his eyes “and this isn’t my first time doing this.”

The shifter's heart sank.

Richie began piecing it all together, “You’re actually a hunter…?” he asked, “Tell me your joking Ed’s, you’re fucking with me…”

The thought of Eddie being an actual hunter was almost as absurd as knowing richie was a giant. Eddie was pretty fearless, but he didn’t act like the other hunters he’d met, if Eddie was actually a hunter, Richie was most likely a dead man.

“I uh… did tell you that I’m a Risk analyzer, I just didn’t tell you what kind of risks I worked with…” Eddie looked away, almost embarrassed. “I didn’t think I’d even run into you...or any of the losers on the job… Especially if the job is on one of you.”

Richie just stayed silent, Eddie. Eddie fucking Kaspbrack, kills monsters, just like him...all the time? He just silently turned on the car, driving back onto the main road. He felt this...intimidation now, and Richie did not like it at all.

“Richie?” Eddie asked, staring at the man, who just kept his eyes on the road. “Richie what's going on…?”

“I’m going to drop you off at your hotel, and guessing that there’s only one hotel that's not a total shithole, I’m guessing that's where you’re staying.” he spoke fast, like he didn’t want to talk to Eddie, which made the other man frown.

“You’re right...but...you seem...off.”

“Finding out my best friend is a killer isn’t something I really enjoy knowing.”

Holy shit…”Richie, are you...scared of me?” Eddie asked, utterly confused. He got no answer except for Richies face turning a slight red colour.

Eddie turned a bit red, but quickly changed the subject when Richie pulled into the driveway of the hotel, parking. “Are you going to answer me, dickwad” he only added the last part to get a reaction out of the man.

Richie snapped his head over to Eddie,  “we’ll finish this talk in the hotel room, I’m not staying in this car the entire night.”

“In the hotel room? What makes you think I’m letting you up there?”

“Because you can’t fucking walk.” Richie snapped once more, pointing to Eddie's legs, “Just try.”

Eddie just nodded, giving Richie a snarky look, then getting out of the vehicle.

“See!” Eddie spoke as Richie started, just waiting.  “What was that about---!”

Eddie couldn’t finish the sentence of glory as his legs wobbled. Making him fall to the concrete of the parking lot with a painful groan.

Richie got out of the car, a smug look on his face “what was what about?” He stood, hands in his hoodie pockets, holding back a bit of laughter.

Eddie just looked up, about to yell once more, but his own fear silenced him as he had to look up at Richie again, towering over him as he was on the pavement.

Richie frowned, seeing the fear in the hunters eyes, sighing

“Fuck--Here” Richie bent down, grabbing onto eddie, pulling the mans arm over his shoulder as to stablize him and help him move.

At first Eddie pushed back, not wanting Richie to even touch him at the moment, but something made him turn red as he got so close to him.

‘Do. not. Even. think. About. It.’

The walk up to the hotel room was silent, only minor grunts or breaths from either of the men.

Richie was practically going nuts with Eddie so close again--He would never admit it, but having eddie so close to his nose, he couldn’t help but smell him once again, and he smelled so...delicious, and the fact that he was able to taste him once meant that he knew that eddie was delicious.

‘Stop it….fucking stop.’

As they reached Eddie's door, the man tried to get the keys out of his pocket, only for Richie to just grab it out of his pocket himself, unlocking the door.

“T...thanks”

“Get in.”

Eddie sighed as they both walked in, the door shutting behind them. Eddie turned red as his luggage bag was sprawled on the bed, knives visible.

Richie groaned, seeing the blades, setting Eddie onto the bed, “Have enough fucking Knives man?”

“What? Scared?”

Richie said nothing, but looked away.

“The man who Eats people alive, is afraid of me?” Eddie couldn’t help but laugh, dry and sarcastic, “and I’m not a killer…”

Richie gave him a disbelieving look, eddies laugh faded

“Well I am a killer, but it's not like that...I researched creatures like you for a while, I made like four journals just observing you guys…”

“Wow, a nerd in literally everything. Even murder” richie rolled his eyes, but it was very noticeable when his shoulders relaxed slightly, though still seemed on guard as Eddie spoke, his eyes narrow and hesitant.

“After IT,” Eddie turned away. “I realized that some of these creatures, they just want to Hurt people… and...I just can’t let that happen. So I became a hunter… it was tough at first, but i’ve gotten better.” Eddie rubbed the back of his neck nervously “B-but I don’t kill people who are just trying to live their lives, only the ones who are killing people...which doesn’t make me that popular.”

Richie gave Eddie a look, not disproving, but just...intrigued, “Damn, a hunter with a moral backbone? Where have you been all my life”

Eddie paused, “I’ve been in your fucking life” He almost felt offended “suddenly I haven’t been with you because of my fucking career choice? Newsflash fuckface, I’m still fucking eddie kaspbrack”

Richie’s eyes widened “I didn't mean it--”

“You fucking EAT people. And I still see you as my...friend” Eddies voice lowered, looking away, “trust me, if I didn’t you’d be dead.”

Richie fell silent, somehow the word ‘friend’ still hurt him. Eddie could see the hurt on his face, looking away as well.

“All the other hunters i’ve known never gave me a chance to explain” Richie finally spoke after a few minutes, “They just see me as a monster.”

“i-I’m sorry.” Eddie responded “I didn’t mean--”

“Oh shut up.” Richie flashed a smile “You get a pass, I fucking ate you. I didn’t get a chance with any others.”

Eddie couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle at the comment, something so absurd about the situation allowed him to. He was a hunter, who had been eaten, and is now talking to the person who had eaten him.

“So...the other losers?” Eddie fake coughed, trying to change the subject “Do any of them know”

“FUCK no.” Richie shook his head loudly, “If they knew that I’ve wanted--” Richie paused mid sentence, sputtering, clearly not wanting that to come out.

Eddie's eyes widened, “No no no, you don't get to say that shit and NOT finish the sentence, dickweed.”

“I-I..er--” Richie couldn’t form a coherent sentence, too busy turning redder than a tomato.

“Richie...Have you thought about...Eating us...like all of us? The losers?”

At first, Richie resisted, sputtering out a shaky ‘no!’, but Eddie just stared at the man, his expression not changing, it was a trick he would use when they were kids, Richie would always break.

“Fuck you Kaspbrak!” Richie finally broke, throwing his hands in the air “what do you want me to say? There's not one goddamn day that goes by since the reunion where i don’t think about it! There! Judge me all you fucking want! It's not gonna change the fact that I wanted to Eat you!”

Richie turned red again as eddie just stared “forget it”

“Did you ever try?”

It was richie's turn to look offended “you think im fucking stupid? If I tried anything on that trip, you’d think i was IT, I wasn’t about to be killed by my friends!”

Eddie put his hands up defensively “Okay okay! Don’t get your panties in a twist! It was a fucking question!”

Richie slumped back, defeated “I’ve thought about it sure---I never planned to though!” Richie almost sounded like he was trying to promise Eddie this, rather than convince him “I never planned on telling you guys, not that you’d believe me if I did.”

“Well you didn’t exactly tell me...so you kept your plan?”

Richie gave him a ‘are you kidding me’ expression

“I will eat you again”

“Don’t make me pull out the Knives, Tozier.”

Before Richie could even say another word, a loud ringing came from the luggage bag. It was his backup phone, Eddie reached for it, Richie first shook his head not to answer, but Eddie did anyway.

“Mr Marsh? Oh thank god you answered, it's been so long I thought the worst? What happened?” Richie tensed up, hearing Mike's voice on the other end of the phone, Eddie looked at the frightened predator and shook his head, mouthing the words ‘voice modifier’ which made Richie calm down slightly, still uncomfortable to hear Mike's voice.

Though on the other hand, Richie couldn’t help but laugh at the ‘Mr. Marsh’ mouthing to Eddie ‘are you fucking serious?’

Eddie shook his head, trying to wave the man off “Sorry Mr Hanlon, I understand your concern, everything is--”

“Ed’s?”

Eddie's sentence came to a full stop as Mike said his name, and so did his heart “w-what?”

“i-I” Mike stammered on the phone for a second “Eddie is that you?”

Richie, in an act of pure instinct, snatched the phone away from Eddie, who yelled out a quick “wait!” Before Richie hung up, turning the phone off.

There were a few moments of silence, you could practically hear the two’s hearts pumping loudly and full of anxiety.

“Shit.” they both said in unison.

---------

its good to be back...again!

[strangertheory]

I’ll admit I’ve been very skeptical about the DID theory, but your most recent post discussing the “layers” was mind blowing to me. I’m still standing back to see how things play out, since it is a theory, but reading the first “layer”, I 100% can see that being part of the plot. The rest is a little more abstract and I’m curious to see how they would write it in if this theory is true. Thanks to you and Kaypeace for your posts on this theory, they’re interesting!

[This is a follow-up Ask referring to this earlier post.]

Thanks for Asking! I have a lot of thoughts on the possible “layers” going on in the story, but I find it challenging to put into words what my ideas are sometimes because I don’t consider myself a very good writer. I can’t promise that anything I write in this reply will make a lot of sense, but I will do my best! I’ve avoided trying to explain certain thoughts I have on the layers of the scenes because they’re complicated and I hadn’t been sure how many fans would have an interest in them since there’s already such a small number of fans interested in the interpretation that the story is about a DID System in the first place. This is yet a sub-theory of that theory! But I’m really excited that you asked. I will try to explain as best I can.

Please keep in mind that although kaypeace21 and I both theorize that Stranger Things is about a DID System (her blogpost about which characters are alters is excellent and I highly recommend it if you haven’t read it yet), we each have our own interpretations of the DID theory that are sometimes very different from each other’s. Her analyses are based on the theory that the alters, internal worlds, and traumas in Will’s mind have escaped his subconsciousness through supernatural means and have become real. I see her interpretation as one possible explanation for the events in the series and I do like that interpretation a lot. I think it’s a very compelling theory and interpretation of the events so far. But what I’m going to describe in the rest of this blogpost is not currently representative of what kaypeace21 theorizes is going on in the series. This “second layer” interpretation that I’ve considered is based on the idea that there are no real superpowers in the story at all and that they exist strictly within internal worlds or in the imagination of the storyteller.

▪️ ▫️ ▪️ ▫️ ▪️ ▫️ ▪️ ▫️

To explain my “second layer” theory which I also like referring to as my “story within a story” theory: I believe that some scenes (but not all scenes) that we see in Stranger Things might be metaphorical and not meant to be taken literally as they are shown, but rather seen as an artistic interpretation of certain concepts and scenarios.

Let’s look back at season 1. Imagine that a character (I’m going to say Mike because I do suspect he’s the one writing the story) is explaining the story of “what happened in 1983″ in a journal, and then a film crew had found what Mike had written down and adapted it into a series but the film crew did not know the original context of Mike’s story, and so the film crew was unaware that it was a story about Mike’s friend who has DID and that many of the characters in the story are actually alters.

“One day Will went missing and then a girl who said her name was Eleven showed up. She was scared and said that she knew Will but that he was ‘hiding’ and that she could help us find him in the ‘Upside Down.’ She told us that we absolutely couldn’t go tell any adults because it wasn’t safe and that ‘bad men’ were after her. I hid El in my closet upstairs when my mom came home unexpectedly. Mom told me that she wants me to feel like I can talk to her. (“All this that’s been going on with Will. I want you to feel like you can talk to me. I’m here for you!”) Later, Dustin and Lucas and I helped find clothes and a blonde wig for El. We made sure that my mom didn’t see El while she was at my house. We snuck into the school with El and tried to get to the radio in the AV Club Room, but Mr. Clarke found us and reminded us that we should be attending Will’s memorial assembly. Oops. (Thankfully Mr. Clarke didn’t ask too many questions about El and he believed our story that she’s a cousin from Sweden!) Attending Will’s funeral was a funny experience since we knew that he was actually alive after El channeled him on the walkie talkie (”Like Professor X!”) Eventually Nancy found out about El (”Is that my dress?”) and so did Joyce and Hopper and we worked together to put together a sensory deprivation tank because El remembered that she could enhance her ability to reach into the ‘Upside Down’ that way. We set up a sensory deprivation pool in the school gym. Joyce thanked El for everything that she was doing for Will and told her that if she ever got scared that she should let her know and that she’d be with her the whole time. El was able to reach out with her mind and find Will in the Upside Down. She found him in the Upside Down in Castle Byers, barely conscious. She told Will that his mom was coming to get him, and Will whispered back ‘hurry.’ Then El became upset as Will faded away into the darkness and her connection to him weakened. She took her goggles off and sat up in the water, panicking. Joyce held her close and told her that everything was ok. Joyce and Hopper went into the Upside Down to find Will and Hopper gave Will CPR until he regained consciousness. Then the Party got to visit Will at the hospital once he was feeling a bit better, and we told him all about the adventures that we’d had and that we’d “made a new friend” named “Eleven.” (”Like the number?”) Dustin said that El was “basically a wizard” but I insisted that she’s much more like a Yoda.”

So. I recognize that I skipped many scenes in the above example summary of how author Mike Wheeler might retell the story of “what happened in 1983,” but I skipped scenes because I want to primarily focus on the connection between El and Will that is represented in season 1 and set aside what is going on with the other characters for a moment. But if you re-read the summary that I wrote above you might realize that the way in which I described season 1 could be interpreted (at its core) as the non-fiction story of a bunch of kids finding their friend who went missing in the woods, realizing that the person they’re interacting with is no longer Will but a new individual (an alter, a distinctly separate state of consciousness and separate self), and then going on an adventure as they try to sort out the best way to “find Will” and bring him back while also becoming friends with El and protecting her from the “bad men” that she says are after her. The ‘Upside Down’ is a space in the DID System’s subconsciousness that is an internal world. The innocent creativity of Mike, Dustin, and Lucas as they try to find an outfit and a wig for El to wear to school is very sweet. The scene in which they accidentally run into Mr. Clarke when they are trying to break into the AV Club room becomes even more charming when you realize that Mr. Clarke does not appear to recognize El (but Mike, Dustin, and Lucas appear very nervous that he might realize something strange is going on!) Attending Will’s memorial service with El at their side gains an amusing layer of narrative irony, and Joyce’s protective parental affection for El gains new layers of significance. Every moment in the story changes if we imagine that the story we are seeing on screen is like a creative theater performance telling the story of “what happened” and each alter in the series is represented by their own individual actor on screen.

Are there moments in season 1 that break this “second layer” theory that I’ve considered? Arguably there are. I consider this a theory-in-progress. But the key concept of this “second layer” theory is that the story is perhaps not meant literally but is meant as a story that is artistically representative of the experiences that alters in a DID System might have. Many films and tv shows that portray fictional characters with DID approach telling their stories as an outside observer might and without taking into account the individuality of each alter, alters’ experiences in internal worlds, or the way that alters might have different understandings of our reality when they’re very new to the outside world and are fronting (controlling the body) for the first time. Perhaps Stranger Things is taking a new approach.

You’re probably wondering how I carry this “second layer” theory into season 2 and especially season 3 in which we finally see Will and El in more scenes together. I might write a longer blogpost about it at some point. But I believe that, if I were to assume that my “second layer” theory is correct (it’s just one of a few very different theories I’ve considered), that it is possible that significant portions of season 3 take place in an internal world or a dream in which characters that exist in Will’s life are now NPCs or alters. This would make Will’s statement “What if we locked him out here with us?” incorrect. What if Will should have technically said “What if we locked him in here with us?” What if “the Gate” is specifically the doorway through which alters need to pass in order to front in the body in the external world? As I’ve mentioned in a few other posts: I theorize that El is a gatekeeper alter. I suspect that Hopper is also a gatekeeper and that he has been mentoring El. In summary: I often wonder if Will is not always entirely “awake” and if many scenes are taking place in a liminal space between his conscious and subconscious, between reality and his dreamlike experiences in an internal world.

You might be interested in reading a summary of my observations regarding how Will and El do not interact with each other in any scenes in season 1 or season 2 directly in this older blogpost that I made about the parallels between El and Will. I think it might interest you a lot and provide more context to my “second layer” theory if you haven’t read this older post before. I am infinitely fascinated by how Will and El parallel each other so closely and yet rarely interact. I think that this is an intentional consequence of whatever secrets the writers have in store for us in future seasons and I cannot wait to find out what those secrets are. I hope that the connection between El and Will is going to be explored more in season 4.

How might we expect the layers to be peeled back in the series itself if the writers decided to reveal this “second layer” existed beneath the current story? I think that they could reveal things to us a few ways if this “second layer” does exist. Perhaps we could see a character meeting with a therapist and a medical professional would openly name the condition and describe what the characters have been dealing with in a way that provides very new “second layer” context to earlier events in the series. (Sidenote: Back in the 80s it was called “multiple personality disorder” and we might have characters in the series refer to it that way since it takes place in the 1980s, but that term is outdated and it should be referred to as “dissociative identity disorder” or “DID” today.) Perhaps we might see them artistically or literally represent concepts like co-consciousness (two alters being conscious and aware in the body at the same time) or have characters transform back and forth into each other while sitting in a chair in order to represent them taking turns fronting in the same body.

Or perhaps this “second layer” theory that I’ve described is insisting on too much artistry and metaphor and the real “second layer” is that the vast majority of the story so far has taken place in internal worlds and Hawkins itself is an internal world. (I have wondered if this might be why Hawkins doesn’t exist in the real world even though other locations referenced in Stranger Things do exist: Chicago, Indianapolis, etc.) If that were the case maybe we’ll see the shared body of the DID System for the first time in a future season which may (or may not) resemble any of the actors we’ve seen portray characters so far. But from everything that we have seen so far I theorize that the host is most often known by the name Will in the external world. (We've had both Will Byers and William "Billy" Hargrove canonically referred to as hosts. And we have "Will the Wise" who I suspect is also an alter.)

Thank you for your Ask! I hope that I was able to explain some my thoughts in a vaguely coherent way. I really should do a larger post breaking down every single scene between seasons 1 and 3 and how this “second layer” interpretation of the story could apply, but I haven’t had the time and I’ve been wary of doing it since I’m not sure how it would be received. But maybe I’ll do that sometime soon if enough people have an interest in it.

[if-found-return-to-gusu]

Smoke and Soot

Things were tense. I made them tense. After the fire it was just…. 

I guess I’m just shit at handling stress? I used to think I was pretty good at dealing with stress but I’m starting to realize that I only thought that because I… wasn’t dealing with it.

My biggest problem… Well… One of my biggest problems… I don’t know… That is.

Urgh.

Okay

So my greatest goal in life is to be as small of an inconvenience as possible, apparently. I’ve been thinking about it this past couple weeks and it… informs like 90% of what I do. Especially when I’m stressed I guess. Or… indebted…. And compounding on that, I view every kindness as a debt I should repay. Everything is owed and nothing is free. And while I pay it back I will try not to incur more debt. Don’t be an inconvenience. Don’t take up space. 

I… I don’t think it’s all because of how I was raised with the Jiangs because I was like that from the beginning… I don’t know what happened to me before then. As I mentioned before, I don’t remember. But I think sometimes I kinda… remember the feelings?

I mean it’s obvious that there are conditions from before that still affect me now. I have some scars on my leg and my arm - old and faded now. The one on my leg is clearer. Bite marks. At some point an animal attacked me. Dogs. I don’t remember the event but I still have the results. I’m terrified of them. Dogs. I can’t… I freeze and tremble. So I know the bites are from dogs. Even if I can’t remember the attack. But I have the scars. Both mental and physical. 

And I wonder how many other scars, ones that I can’t see, really inform why I am the way I am. 

Anyway. Not the point. I’m still opening the doors. The doors to my own problems that I kept sealed shut. I’ve had to dig up some keys. Forage through the brush to find them. Some keys have to be re-made. But I’m trying. 

Not the point. 

But anyway. I don’t know the why but I know the result. And the result is I don’t want to take up space. 

And when I started living with Lan Zhan, that instinct kicked into overdrive. Like insane overdrive. 

I think part of it was that I didn’t want to be a bother. I wanted it to be as life as usual for Lan Zhan. So I wouldn’t disrupt his life. He was doing so much for me by taking me in. By taking care of me. It felt like the least I could do to pay that back.  

I know the flaw in that thinking. You have told me. Lan Zhan has told me. Wen Qing has told me. Everyone has told me. I get it. I get that the way of thinking is wrong. But I can’t help it. It’s how I think.

And I’ve gotten better. Especially where Lan Zhan is concerned. 

BUt this was different. It was too much for me to really understand that there is no cost attached to it.

And I did NOT want that cost to be Lan Zhan. I didn’t want to lose him. I DON’T want to lose him. I…

Anyway.

The way this came out was with cleaning. Cleaning everything. I’ve mentioned before that Lan Zhan’s home is spotless. And I know that he prefers cleanliness. On my own I was… not clean. I mean not a pig sty but like my apartment was definitely lived in. There always seemed to be a couple dishes in the sink and some clothes strewn about waiting to be put away. Or art supplies or what have you. 

But Lan Zhan… Lan Zhan is clean. He’s tidy. He puts things away when he’s done with them. He has a cleaning schedule. Like dusting and sweeping and mopping and like all that. And… I don’t know… I didn’t want to disrupt that. I didn’t want to make him clean up after me or like ruin his flow or whatever. 

That was part of it. 

A large part. 

But the other part…. Sometimes even now….

I can smell the smoke on my skin. I can smell it on the things I’ve touched. Left behind like a stain. And… And I know it’s in my head. But it… doesn’t make it any less real to me.

I couldn’t stand the smell of the smoke. And I was afraid that… I don’t know that it’d tainted the things I’d touched. That Lan Zhan could smell it. That he’d resent me for it. That he’d want me to leave. To get away. To stop contaminating his home with my smoke.

……

Thinking about it now…. Maybe I’ve felt that way from before the fire… I’m a contaminant. A stain. Tarnish that needs to be buffed and polished away. 

Huh….

Well…. Well anyway. Where was I. yeah. Okay.

So the reasons were there. The reasons were complicated. The reasons are STILL there and Still complicated. But the result was simple.

If I didn’t want to spoil things or stain them I just had to clean. 

Everything.

Constantly. 

I needed to scrub away the smoke. Especially… Especially in that spot.  

If I think about it even now I can feel it. Smell it. Taste it. It burns my nose. Burns my eyes. Everywhere. The smoke was worse than the heat even. It was just… I couldn’t breathe. Truly couldn’t breathe. Even as I drew breath. 

I… really never want to experience that again. 

But I think…. Also the smoke might be a good thing? Because the fact that I can still smell it means I have to face it. I maybe am not dealing with it in the BEST way but at least I’m dealing with it. I’m not hiding from it and running anymore. 

Which is new for me. 

But… okay enough of my psychoanalyzing myself. That doesn’t really have to do with… the story? I guess?

What happened.

So I was cleaning. You know this. I know this. Lan Zhan DEFINITELY knows this. 

At first it was just that spot. But as the smell spread so did my cleaning. 

Like… I never left Lan Zhan’s place a mess, but like on our Saturdates I wouldn’t clean up immediately either. Like at the end of the day we’d pick up together. It was like a joint thing.

And when it was just a day or two for a few hours or whatever. Idk… it was fine. It was different. But now that I’m living here, always, 24/7 this is where I legit reside, I don’t know it was just not the same. He was doing me such a huge favor and I KNOW it had to inconvenience him. And it was temporary, but I didn���t want him to hate me at the end of it. 

I didn’t want to derail his life. So I just… cleaned everything… right away. Always. 

I think I went through a full bottle and a half of cleaner the first few weeks I was there. And soon that smell of smoke was replaced by chemicals. 

Not. Better.

But I didn’t know what to do. I tried changing cleaners but that just made it worse.

But like I couldn’t stop. And I guess I didn’t realize how bad it was until Christmas Eve. And that was because Lan Zhan literally told me to stop. 

I was home alone. Lan Zhan had gone out to get some supplies for SangSang’s party. And the smell came back. The smoke. From that spot. 

It was… Normally it came back at night and it had lessened since I started sleeping in Lan Zhan’s room again. It’s hard to smell smoke when the sandalwood scent of his skin is just right there.

But the smoke always gets worse when I’m alone. Or it did…. Does? Less so now.

Ugh. I’m sorry it’s hard to get my thoughts in order on this. But anyway

The smell came back. Almost as bad as the first time. From the place I’d hid when I arrived after the fire. And so I started to clean it again. My hands were raw and it burned so bad but I couldn’t stop scrubbing. And scrubbing. And scrubbing. And scrubbing. And scrubbing. And---

 Okay enough you get the point. 

I’d meant to just clean it and move on but… I don’t know. I couldn’t stop or lost track of time or both I guess. But all of a sudden Lan Zhan was there. 

I don’t think I’ve felt shame flood through my body quite so quickly as that before. I don’t even know why I was ashamed really. Like I guess on some level I knew I was being ridiculous. That it wasn’t necessary. That I was going too far in an unneeded extreme. I didn’t want Lan Zhan to know, but of course he knew. I’d seen him lighting more incense around the house to cover up the smell I’d left in my wake. 

In trying to avoid the problem I had caused the problem I’d been trying to avoid.

Par for the course. Good Job Wei Ying. :/

I didn’t even hear him come home. I didn’t see  him approach me. I didn’t realize he was there at all until I heard him call out to me and ask what I was doing.

I panicked then, which of course meant I gave him a big ol’ grin. (these grins never seem to work on him anymore. He knows me too well. Still, can’t help it.)

“Nothing!” I said, sounding WAY too cheerful even to my own ears. “Just cleaning!”

He pointed out that we had both already cleaned the night before. Or like the previous night? I don’t remember. Anyway we had just cleaned. Like normal cleaning. His routine. I helped. 

But what could I do? I couldn’t admit I’d been cleaning religiously for weeks. I couldn’t admit that my hands were burned and cracked and not healing from the fire because of the scrubbing and the chemicals and just… everything. I couldn’t say that I felt so ashamed of being a soot mark against his life that I was trying desperately with everything I had to rub it clean. To rub myself clean.

I couldn’t admit even to myself what that really meant. I wasn’t something with soot on it. I was the soot. And if you rub out the soot, there is no more soot. I wanted to rub myself out. I wanted to erase myself. 

I’ve wanted to erase myself for a long time, I think. 

Not that I wanted to die. I just wanted… 

I don’t know what I wanted. To not exist to begin with? Or just not as I am. Do… I want to be someone else? Or do I just want to be a better version of myself.

Because not all of me is bad. Sometimes I’m so arrogant. And cocky. And other times I just want to beat the shit out of myself.

But not all of me is bad. 

Ugh…. self-identity and shit is just too complicated. Can we please just become ferrets? Ferrets seem cool. Let’s just be ferrets. When’s the last time a ferret had an identity crisis? Never! Because they’re ferrets.

Anyway.

I been caught. Lan Zhan could see where I was and what I was doing. He’s not stupid. 

He took the cleaning stuff out of my hands and asked me what was really going on. Because obviously? Right? 

So what could I do but admit to everything I just rambled on about not being able to admit to. Because when push comes to shove I can’t hide anything from this man. Not really. 

So I told him… maybe not in so many words. But I told him that I know he cares about being clean. And that I didn’t want him to be upset to not living to that standard. That I didn’t want to inconvenience him. 

He told me that he could never be upset with me. (Which isn’t true because he was upset with me trying not to make him upset but that’s dangerously close to a paradox so I’ll let it slide.)

He told me.

He said…..

He told me that he LIKES who I am. 

And I could feel the weight of those words. It’s just…. I really believe that he meant to like… like the CORE of me. He LIKES who I am. He likes ME. 

He has seen me. He’s seen me at my best and my worst. He’s dealt with it. My family drama. My fire. He’s been dragged into it all. And he has seen to the very depth of my soul. 

And he’s decided that he likes it. That me. That core. He still likes me. 

I don’t.. I can’t imagine why… but he does. And I believe him. 

He took my hands (I had to try VERY hard not to wince because fuck they hurt.) and he pulled me so carefully to the couch. 

And he sat down next to me.

And we talked. Well…. He talked. For once I was quiet (mostly) and just listened. 

He told me about his uncle and how he was brought up in such a strict way. He told me that while he can’t change his own habits it’s just that- habits. Not expectations. And he very pointedly does NOT want house rules. After growing up with so many strict rules and punishments for breaking them. That isn’t what home should mean, he said.  And so in his own home there were no such rules. 

And then he said…

He said

That he wants to see the evidence that I was there. That he wants to come home and see traces of me. 

And… I mean… Okay so I’d spent so long trying so hard to not leave a trace of myself, that I had never CONSIDERED that maybe he wanted to see those traces. 

He mentioned that it was proof that… that the worst hadn’t happened.  He… Apparently I really scared him. Or rather the thought of what COULD have happened scared him. 

“This is your home too,” he said. “As long as you want it, it will be yours.”

I avoided jokes this time, though the urge was there. I was afraid of what he’d say if I said “Well then I guess you’re stuck with me forever then.”

But I don’t think I could have spoken anyway with the lump that had formed in my throat. So instead I threw myself at him. And he accepted me. He held me so close. 

After a moment I managed to swallow that lump to tell him he was too good to me. Because he is. But he said that I deserve all the good. 

Which made me laugh… but somehow.. It wasn’t that I didn’t believe him. I just… Hearing those words. From him. It was a release I hadn’t known I needed. So I laughed and just… held on to him. 

He let me. He’s so patient. Always waiting for me. 

So, I decided to share a bit more. It took a minute. With the words came the smoke. And once I said them he’d have to breathe it in. 

But I did. Because… Lan Zhan wanted to share the burden with me. And I’m… I’m starting to be willing to let him. 

I told him that I didn’t want to be a burden. 

He shook his head, and I think he was going to say something else, but I kept going. 

I breathed in deep. Smoke. I breathed out. Smoke. But he let me talk. 

I told him about it. THe smoke. The smell. How it follows me. Everywhere I go. Everything I touch. Contaminated by smoke. I told him how it was especially strong in the corner where he’d found me. 

And then this jackass absolute angel fucking specimine of a man just said that we should rearrange the room then. 

Break away the association. 

I tried to tell him that we couldn’t do that! The living room was how he wanted it and rearranging his life was specifically the thing I’d been trying to AVOID. 

And so he JUST DEADLIFTED THE END OF THE COUCH WITH ME ON IT AND JUST STARTED MOVING IT!

WHAT THE HELL……..???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

FUCK.

I mean I was too devastated at the time to be horny but now??

Okay anyway. 

So since it clearly didn’t matter what I had to say about it at that point, I decided I could at least help. 

So we moved the room around. It didn’t take that long actually and the end result is actually rather nice. It ended up opening the living room up a bit more. And… 

The selfish part of my heart….

It’s ours. Our living room. It’s arranged how WE want it. Because he asked for my input. And we’d try it. And if WE didn’t like it WE moved it again. Until it was how WE liked it. 

And oh…. Oh…. We. 

I like we.

And… I think we… WE might…. There’s a real chance…

We…

He asked me how it was after we finished. I breathed in deep. And smelled only Sandalwood. 

“Better.”

He smiled at me and… The taste of smoke was replaced by the memory of the taste of him. That kiss that never should have happened. I just… I wanted nothing more than to repeat what had happened. I wanted him to press me into that couch and not let me up. I wanted…. 

You don’t need to hear my sick fantasies. You get the point. 

I really really wanted to kiss him. And kiss him. And KISS him. 

And… uh… well… turns out that my wish didn’t take TOO long to be granted actually…. 

Mmm…. maybe I should say this in order though. Because it happened at the party. And it was…. Well….. It wasn’t a KISS really. Like a KISS KISS. but it was still a kiss. And just… The longing hadn’t gone away. It hadn’t even dimmed since that first kiss that never should have happened. But this… this just made it 1000 times stronger. (I’m writing about Christmas now but it’s getting late. So I’ll just post this for now and finish the rest later)

[duhragonball]

‘21

Amidst all the popular hype for seeing the end of 2020, it didn’t hit me until about lunchtime what the real highlight is that I’ve been waiting for: For the first time since 1999, the year finally ends in “numberty-number” again.    It low-key irritated me that we had to call it “two thousand three” and I was relieved when “twenty-thirteen” caught on, but it still wasn’t right because it was too short, and now we’re back in the sweet spot, and I should be safely dead by 2100, so that’s one less thing I gotta deal with.

Really, even “numberty hundred” rings true to me.    “Nineteen hundred” sounds like a year.    “Twenty-one-oh-six” sounds like a futur-y year, which is even cooler.   So did “Two thousand five”, until I was actually living in it, and it sounds even worse now that it was a long time ago and adults will talk about their childhood happening in that year.    Daniel Witwicky would be old enough to get married and grow a fancier beard than me.    That’s nuts.    My point is that, honestly, it’s the year 3000-3019 that I have to worry about, so if I ever decide to go vampire, those will be the years I hide in the ocean or force society to reset the calendar, whichever’s easier.  

I spent New Year’s Eve finishing Superliminal, which I bought on Steam after I watched Vegeta play it on YouTube.  It has a similar look and feel to the Stanley Parable, so if you liked one you’d probably enjoy the other, although Superliminal has a different theme.  I kept hoping I’d find some secret passage that I wasn’t supposed to take, and a narrator would scold me for finding the “Chickenbutt Ending”, but it doesn’t work that way.    Superliminal’s all about puzzles and awesome visuals, but it does have the same soothing design aesthetics as TSP.   Honestly, I enjoyed just wandering around in Stanley’s office, and Superliminal does the same thing with a hotel and several other settings.   It’s nice.

This got me thinking about how I kind of did everything there was to do in The Stanley Parable, and I sort of wished they would add new stuff to the game, but I’m not sure there would be much point to that.    I could play the older version, but it presents the same message, just with different assets.   The Boss’s Office would look different, but it’d be the same game.   And this got me thinking about various “secret chapters” in pop culture.  Secrets behind the cut.

I first heard about this idea in the 2000′s, when fans invented this notion that there was a secret chapter of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.    I read a website that tried to explain the concept, and of course it lauded J.K. Rowling with all this gushing praise for working an Easter egg into the book, a literary work of “well, magic.”  

That pretty well sums up my distaste for Harry Potter, by the way.    These days, JKR has thoroughly crapped all over her reputation and legacy, but in the 2000′s it felt like half the planet was in a mad rush to canonize her as a writing goddess, to the point where fans were congratulating her for writing secret chapters that didn’t actually exist.   The idea was based on lore from the books about Neville Longbottom’s parents.    They were patients in a mental hospital, and he’d go to visit them, and they would give him bubble gum wrappers, intended to demonstrate how far remove they’ve become from reality.   The secret chapter lies in those wrappers, which all read “Droobles Best Blowing Gum” or some such.    What if Neville’s parents were only pretending to be mentally ill, so as to throw off their enemies?   Naturally, they would want to stay in contact with their son, so the bubble gum wrappers would have to contain coded messages.    Said code involves unscrambling the letters on the wrappers to make new words, like “goblin” or “sword” or “Muggle” or “Dumbledore”.    The problem is that you can also use it to make other words like “booger” or “drool” or “booobbiess.”   Play with it enough, and you can make the code say anything you want it to say, which means it’s no code at all.   

But the idea was that the not-yet-published sixth HP book would reveal all of this gum wrapper nonsense, and Neville would decode the messages and discover all of his parents’ super-cool adventures.   I’m not sure why we needed a secret chapter if Book 6 was going to explain all of this anyway in several not-secret chapters, but that was the whole point.   Fans didn’t have Book 6 yet, and they were so desperate to read it that they started trying to extrapolate what would happen next based on “clues” from the previous five.    That’s like trying to figure out what Majin Buu looks like by watching the Androids Saga.   I guess some wiseguy would have guessed that he’d resemble #19, but that’d just be blind luck.  

And when you get down to it, this whole secret chapter business is really just a conspiracy.   This is literally how Qanon works.   Some anonymous jackass posted vague “hints” on an imageboard, and people went goofy trying to interpret them and figure out what would happen in the future.   They call it “research” because they spend a ton of time on this, but there’s no basis to any of it.    It took me a few minutes to figure out that you can spell “Muggle” with the words in “Drooble’s Best Blowing Gum”, but that’s not research and it doesn’t prove anything.   But all these guys keep looking for “Hilary Clinton goes to jail next week” and lo and behold that’s all they ever find.   

In the same vein, the gum wrapper thing was really a complaint disguised as a conspiracy, disguised as a “magical secret chapter”.   At least a few fans wanted to see more Neville in their Harry Potter books, they wanted Neville’s parents, or someone like them, to have cool spy adventures or whatever else.   The point is, they clearly weren’t getting what they wanted out of the printed works, but they didn’t want to turn against their Dear Beloved Author, so they started casting about for an alternative reality, one where J.K. Rowling wrote a cooler story and hid it in the pages of the one that actually went to press.    So instead of just saying “Hey, Order of the Phoenix was kind of a letdown, I hope there’s more ninjas in the next book,” they said “Rowling is a genius because I wanted ninjas and she’s definitely going to give them to me, I have the gum wrappers to prove it.”

The same thing happened all over again when the BBC Sherlock show took a turn for the nonsensical.    I don’t know from BBC Sherlock, but I watched the fascinating video critique by Hbomberguy, and it sounds like the show did tons of plot twists until it stopped making sense altogether in the fourth season.    If you skip to 1:09:00 in the video, you’ll hear about fan theories that suggested that season four was supposed to be crappy, as part of a secret meta-narrative plan that would be paid off in a secret, unannounced episode that would not only explain everything, but retroactively justify the crappy episodes that came before.    But it’s been a few years and it never came to pass, so I think we can call this myth busted. 

Most recently, I think we’ve all seen a lot of talk about the final season of Supernatural, where I guess Destiel sort of became canon but only one guy does the love confession and the other doesn’t respond.   But I guess he does say “I love you too”  in the Spanish dub, which means the English language version was edited for whatever reason.    It’s not exactly a secret episode, but the implication is that there’s more to this than what made it to the screen.    So the questions turn to what the screenplay said, what the writers and actors wanted to do, etc. etc.    My general impression is that SPN fans are a bit more used to crushing disappointment, so they’re not quite as delusional about this show being unquestionable genius, like Sherlock and Harry Potter.     Maybe this is an Anglophile thing?   Like, if you suck at something with a British accent, people will accept it more unconditionally?   

I had seen something on Twitter about how there should have been a secret Seinfeld episode in the 90′s.    Someone suggested it at the time, they tape a whole episode, then wait until 2020 to air it, because by then it would be worth a fortune.    But they didn’t do it, because it costs a lot of money to make a TV episode, and if you don’t air the show right away, you aren’t making that money back any time soon.    Yeah, you might recoup a fortune someday, but Seinfeld was making a ton of money then.    It exposes the fannish nature of the idea.    A fan would love to discover a cool secret chapter, but a content creator isn’t necessarily keen on making a cool thing and then hiding it where few people would find it.  

I thought about doing this myself recently.   Maybe Supernatural gave me the bug, but I thought “I’m writing this big-ass story, so what if I wrote me a secret chapter for it?   Wouldn’t that be cool?”     But no, it wouldn’t be cool, because it’d be the same work as writing a regular chapter, and the same stress I feel when I hold off on publishing it.    Except I’d just never publish it, I’d put it in some secret hole on the internet and hope that some superfan who might not even exist can decode whatever clues I leave.  

I mean, it’d be awesome if it got discovered and everyone loved it.    “Hey, I found this hidden chapter!   Mike’s done it again!”   And I could bask in the glory.   But what if no one finds it?  Then I just wasted my time, right?   I want people to read my work.   My monkey brain needs the sweet, sweet validation of those kudos and comments, folks.   Once I realized that, I understood why no one else would want to do a secret chapter either.    Easter eggs are one thing, but the bigger bonus features they put on DVDs were pretty easy to find, and with good reason.

I think that’s what made the Stanley Parable so appealing to play, because it teases you with the idea that you can “break” the game and find some extra content that you weren’t supposed to see, but as you go exploring all those hidden areas, it gradually becomes clear that this is just part of the game; you were meant to find all these things, and that’s why they were put here.      It’s hidden, but he secret aspect of it is just pretend.   

I suppose that what I like about games like TSP and Superliminal is the illusion of secrets more than the secrets themselves.    I like roaming through the hallways, having no idea what I might find ahead.    I kind of wish I could open all the doors, and not just the ones the game designers put stuff behind, but the reality is that there’s nothing on the other side.    I used a cheat code once  to explore the unused doors in TSP and it’s just a bright white field on the other side.   Interesting to look at, but not much of a reveal.   Honestly, the doors themselves are more appealing than anything that could lay behind them.  

And that’s probably what makes secrets so fun.   They could be almost anything, but once you open the present, the number of possibilities drops to one.   If they had ever made that Secret BBC Sherlock Episode, I doubt it would have lived up to expectations, but fans could amuse themselves by imagining what could have been in it.    In the end, though, things usually don’t justify the hype.  For every Undertaker debut at Survivor Series 1990, there’s a Gobbledygooker debut at Survivor Series 1990.   It’s impossible to manufacture a secret with a guaranteed payoff.   

[grayseekerswritinglife]

Tricks & Treats 3/5

Chapter Three: Pocket Valley

“They’re gonna kill him,” Thundercracker said, not for the first time.

“They can’t,” Starscream pointed out, also not for the first time. “If they kill him, they’ll lose all the gold that’s in his subspace.”

“Why would Autobots care about that?”

“Because the humans do, and Autobots always put humans ahead of anything else.” It was a baffling, if occasionally useful tendency. If one wished for the Autobots to see things a certain way, one had only to threaten a human. Sadly, Starscream and Thundercracker had left human settlements behind a while ago. They were flying above a mountain range, and the only visible sign that humans even existed on this planet was a haze of brown smog, indicating a city just beyond the horizon.

“I don’t think he’s here,” Thundercracker said at length.

Starscream groaned. “What do you mean, he isn’t here? You said you could sense him through your bond!”

“Yeah, but it was just a blip,” Thundercracker replied. “He might have teleported here, then vopped away again. Somewhere else, I mean.”

“And you’re not picking anything up?”

“Nah. Either he’s blocking me, or…” Thundercracker let the thought hang.

Starscream was just as glad. This was already bringing up enough memories. Memories of flying above this wretched planet, searching endlessly for someone who couldn’t be found. It was getting to be a pattern; one he’d just as soon break.

“Um. Starscream?”

“What?”

“There’s something else I was thinkin' about.”

“Yes?” Starscream could already tell he wouldn’t like it.

“When he teleported, did it sound… weird to you?”

“Weird?”

“Yeah. Like… not the usual ‘vop’ sound. More like… I dunno. Something breaking.”

So it hadn’t been Starscream’s imagination. Frag.

“Um. Scream?”

“Yes—what?”

“D’you think it’s possible he didn’t make it? Like… could he be stuck in the middle of teleporting?”

Starscream stopped flying and transformed. Thundercracker did too. They stared at each other.

“Are you serious?” The thought of Skywarp stuck in some kind of limbo between two teleportation coordinates was appalling.

“Look, I dunno,” Thundercracker said with an anxious shrug. “You’re the gee… scientist. Tell me it isn’t possible, and I’ll believe you.”

“It’s… not,” Starscream said, though with more conviction than he felt. He didn’t want it to be possible. There were too many other horrifying potentialities crowding his mind. Images of Skywarp re-materializing inside solid rock, for example. He didn’t need more nightmare fuel. “We’ll find him,” he said determinedly, transforming back into his jet form. Thundercracker followed suit, resuming his standard ‘perch’ position above Starscream’s left wing.

“If you say so,” Thundercracker muttered, and for once, Starscream regretted being Trineleader. Thundercracker already thought this was Starscream’s fault. What if it was? And what if they couldn’t find Skywarp?

“They’re gonna kill him,” Thundercracker muttered, bringing the conversation full circle. Starscream stifled a growl, and was about to shut off his comm when Thundercracker suddenly exclaimed, “Hey! Down there!”

“Down where?”

Thundercracker transformed and pointed at a mountainside. “There. Something yellow. D'you see it?”

Starscream transformed and flew to hover beside Thundercracker, squinting in the direction indicated. Sure enough, something was glinting against the backdrop of a mountain meadow. Something gold. Starscream dove toward it and scooped it from the tall grass. It was a gold brick. Starscream did a scan of the mountainside, his sensors tuned to detect gold, and spotted a second brick further up the mountain. “Well, what do you know?” he said, levitating toward it. “There really is a yellow brick road!”

"A what?”

“Never mind.”

Near the mountain’s summit, they discovered a third brick. It had dropped from above, shearing a branch from a sturdy mountain shrub on its way down. The broken branch was pointing over the lip of what appeared to be a hole in the mountaintop. It wasn’t a volcano, as far as Starscream could tell. It looked more like a pocket valley, formed by the collapse of an underground cavern in the far distant past. Its nearly vertical sides were covered in a thick growth of shrubbery and wildflowers. A thicket of trees hid the floor of the depression from view, but not from Starscream’s scanners. He was picking up gold; a lot of it. Starscream raised a finger to his lips, motioning for silence as he stepped from the edge. Thundercracker followed without a word. They descended as quietly as their antigravs would allow and landed among the trees.

::Seems like a good hiding spot,:: Thundercracker remarked over comms.

::If you enjoy coffins,:: Starscream replied, glaring upward at the small, roughly circular patch of sky above them. That was the only way out, and it would be all too easy to block it off. He could only hope they’d lost the Aerialbots, because if not, they were as good as dead.

::Hey,:: Thundercracker said, interrupting Starscream’s morbid train of thought. ::Do you hear something?::

Starscream listened. At first all he heard was the trill of birdsong, the rustle of leaves, and a distant, musical sound that might have been water. But a shift of the wind brought another sound to his attention, and he realized this must have been what Thundercracker meant. It was a low, gravelly voice, singing off-key.

“Skywarp!”

Starscream forgot all about stealth. He broke into a run, smashing through a stand of poplars to reach the source of the voice. If he’d heard right—if Skywarp was singing—he must be okay. Mustn’t he? The last of the poplars gave way under his assault, and he found himself at the edge of a clear, sparkling pool of water. A spring. Beyond that, sprawled on the grassy shore, was Skywarp. He’d picked the worst possible spot, at least from a strategic perspective. The sun, just past its zenith, was shining directly on him. It was also shining directly on the gold. And there was rather a lot of gold. It was heaped all around him, and he was lying on a carpet of the stuff, his dark wings draped limply over the pile as if to hide it. He’d clasped his hands over his belly, which looked suspiciously distended, and he gave no sign of having noticed either Starscream or Thundercracker.

“I want somethin' sticky an' sweet,” he intoned, grinning up at the sky. “Don’t want a trick, want somethin' to eat. Wish Halloween wasn’t just one night; then we’d have candy all the time. I want cannndy! I want cannndy! I want can—”

“Warp!” Thundercracker leaped over the pool and made a grab for Skywarp, who sat up, optics wide.

“Yikes!” Skywarp's form went transparent, his outlines rippling like heat-shimmers on a hot day, and Thundercracker’s hand slipped through his arm. Skywarp re-solidified. He glanced down at himself with a look of surprise, as if wondering why he hadn’t teleported, and then vanished in a puff of thick dark smoke. “Trick or treat!” he shouted, his footsteps pounding as he attempted to run away.

Starscream lunged into his path. He couldn’t see Skywarp through all the smoke—those smoke-bombs were highly effective, a detached part of his mind noted—but he could track his movements easily with all the noise he was making. He made a grab for Skywarp. His hand connected with something solid, but it slipped away with another blast of that awful, hinge-wrenching sound he’d heard earlier. He swore.

“Skywarp, you idiot! If you dare teleport again, I'm going to personally—”

He never got to finish the threat because something big and solid smashed into him just then, flinging him backwards. He landed on a hard surface with something almost unimaginably heavy pinning him down. Something that felt a lot like…

“Oh, frag—Skywarp?”

As the smoke cleared, he found he was lying underneath his Trinemate, who was flailing about in an apparently futile attempt to rise. Starscream flailed too, because Skywarp weighed at least twice as much as Starscream thought he should, and with every movement, he was grinding Starscream further down into the muddy soil. Thundercracker came to both their rescue, capturing Skywarp around his waist.

“Nice try, moron,” he said, hauling Skywarp up. He paused with a grunt. “Whoa. How many of those bricks did you eat?”

If Skywarp had an answer for that question, it was lost in the tinny whine of laserfire. A beam zipped past Thundercracker’s shoulder and bit into the mud beside Starscream’s head. “Surrender, Decepticons!” someone shouted from above. With a groan of resignation, Starscream craned his neck to look up, past his struggling Trinemates, to the rim of the pocket valley. There, as he might have predicted, were all five of the Aerialbots, along with the unwelcome bonus presence of Skylynx. This would not go well.

“We… surrender!” Starscream choked, as loudly as the weight on his chest would allow. He dropped his head back to the mud and stared at the sky, dimly aware of a throbbing, pulsating ache behind his optics.

~~~~~~~

This was written for @darkstarofchaos​ for the @transform-or-treat​ Halloween gift exchange. There are five chapters of it in all, and I will be posting a chapter a day until Halloween! Many, many thanks to @justawayninja or being my awesome beta. Your suggestions helped me get the story to the next level.

[honeyctzen]

scarred leash [2] - m.l

words: 9.7k

warnings: suggestive content, mentions of self harm, bdsm

part 1: scarred leash [1] - m.l

I had never felt pain quite like a hangover before, the dizziness of it, the hazy filter that lingered over my vision. It was completely awful, bad enough to put me off drinking for months to come. Though still, I felt thankful that Rose had taken me along, let me experience the night life in London. I had drunk alcohol, danced, kiss a stranger and then, cut myself. The ending perhaps wasn’t the high point, but the rest of the night had been incredible, and I needed to focus on that, the good. Particularly because work continued on as normal the following day. So, aside my throbbing head and pulsating arm, I was forced from the safety of my house and into work.

The entire world was dialled up to ten, the sky too bright, noise far too loud and each person that spoke to me or even nudged past my body seemed to annoy me beyond limit. I should have called in sick, I should have made up an excuse to stay home but instead, I pushed on. My arm was still bleeding the following day, leaking small droplets of blood onto my sheets. I tried my best to stop the bleeding but even through the doors on my workplace, I could feel the dampness attach itself to my shirt. Thankfully I had worn something red, so no one would notice, my stiff smile successfully convincing everyone that nothing was the matter. And the day went on as if everything was the same, as though my mind weren’t completely clouded over with sensual worry. Though I covered my anxiety with the mounds of work that stacked up on my desk, the thoughts were always lingering, attached to me like a mite. My entire knowledge of my own sexuality had dissolved and now, I worried I might never feel that relief ever again. That I would forever remain displeased, teetering on the edge.

As hours passed in the office, I had resolved to chewing my nails down to the nub and tapping my feet on my chair to help calm my nerves. I couldn’t think to eat or drink anything, nor could I think my work through entirely. The worst part was being aware that I wasn’t working to my own standards, merely because I was worried about my already non-existent sex life. The entire thing felt pathetic, a worry that changed my life not the slightest but simultaneously, changed everything. Ignoring the subject didn’t seem to help and so I spent much of my day allowing myself to fester over it. Letting my thoughts on the matter crawl in my stomach and turn over until I felt entirely too sick.

I thought of going into the bathroom, locking myself in a stall and crying for the rest of the day. Sobbing until my eyes were puffy and my throat was raw but that wasn’t possible. More paper was pushed onto my desk, the stack piling up until it seemed to threaten its topple. I watched it helplessly, trying to glance at the numbers and type them up as I did every day. My computer slowed to a near halt, the old models they used in the office weren’t particularly reliable, but they never froze like this. I felt a stiff groan bubble up my throat and explode into the air, my back arching from my chair as I desperately wiggled the mouse, willing it to work. My hopes were useless, the unfinished chart sprawled out across the screen, almost mocking my anguish. I could feel a growing need to bawl in my chest, lungs aching as they tried to control my breathing. Another round of muffled huffs coming from my mouth as I pushed myself away from my desk. The mouse clattered against the wood and fell to the ground, the thud roaming the room as heads perked up from the stalls surrounding me. I wished no one to come over and through the hope and my annoyed glare, people seemed to understand.

A moment passed before I even dared to glance upward, to pull myself back into the distressing reality of the scene I’d created. As I slowly returned myself to it, I watched a figure wander toward me, standing in the same place it had before. Mark held a tender expression, kind eyes sullen as he watched me pull myself back to the desk. Part of me wanted him to leave me be, to go back to his own stall and forget that this had ever happened, though, I could have used help with the computer. My eyes caught his, the umber warmth of them soothing the nausea in my tummy. A subdued smile bit at the corners of my mouth as I watched him lean over and inspect my frozen computer. My body careened to the side in order to give the boy beside me more room, his figure awkwardly close to me all of a sudden.

The warmth radiating from his skin expelled onto mine, making my cheeks flush maroon as I admired his tense expression. His fingers outstretched over the mouse he had picked from the floor, his hand tensing as he clicked. Small groans left his mouth as he furiously tried to make the device work but just as I had experienced, it wasn’t complying whatsoever. Mark began viciously wiggling the mouse as I had, the groans becoming louder as he reached over to press on the keyboard. I tried to move my body away though by the time he had leant over, his arm had already stretched over my chest. I pushed backward, my skin burning where his suit shirt had brushed against me, chest aching from the tension. As I watched him attentively, Mark pushed on random keys, mumbling away to himself in the deepness of his accent. The smile poking at my lips grew a little wider, my shaky fingers keeping to their place on the desk as they began wanting to run over the digits of his hand. Wanting to feel the glow of his tanned skin, the supple shape of his fingers, the curvature of his hand.

His groans continued as he pressed more keys, my eyes flitting back to the screen every so often. While he pressed a few, the computer began working a little, the screen changing. The uncompleted graph disappearing from it as suddenly things began popping up. At first it was merely the internet homepage, or my work email, as things that were easily mistakenly opened, though as he pressed more buttons, it became more personal. Mark clicked down on a page accidentally, my web browser history appearing on the screen, my stomach immediately tightening to a painful degree.

Unfortunately, there was no computer in my flat and the one at work was easily accessible. I hadn’t looked up anything explicit, nor had I gone looking for anything that would warrant a scolding. However, in the past few weeks I had been researching different things under incognito tabs, areas that I had maybe had interest in but had never understood. My internet history boasted no scandalous films but instead mere questions such as “what is masochism?” and “how to know if you are a masochist?” I hadn’t quite understood it still but at least my curiosity was satisfied although now, my curiosity was open to Mark. I could see him reading through the search history, sounding out words that brushed against his lips. Through the tense expression scrawled into his face, I could see him working it all out in his head. The cogs twisting until his lips hung open slightly, eyes still stuck to the screen not moving. By the time I reacted about five seconds after the page had popped up, it was far too late.

In a flurry of panic, I lifted my still bleeding arm and swiped it across the desk. My fingers knocking over Mark’s hand as I reached to close the page and in turn, hide my dwindling curiosity into sex. I tried my best to close the tab quickly but as I did so, I failed to notice my sleeve riling up, revealing another thing I wished Mark to not know. I raised up until half of my forearm was showing, slashes marking the skin, the blood and collection of scars coating the newer cuts all visible to the man leaning over me. My stomach twisted so uncomfortably I felt vomit rise in my throat, my entire body clenching while I pulled my arm back and hid the cuts once more.

I waited, expecting Mark to begin spewing out profanities and accusations that I was completely insane. Which may have been true but still, I didn’t want such things screamed out into the office. I waited a moment more, expecting it to come at any minute now but as time withered on, it never did. Mark merely stared down at the table top for a while, his eyes still just as soft and tender as they had been toward me before. And as he eventually glanced up, his expression was sympathetic, not at all disgusted or even the slightest bit confused. In fact, I felt like I was the one who was perplexed, my pulse oddly regular for the situation, though my mind was still hazy and spinning. I merely glanced back up at Mark, his almond eyes stuck on mine as though I would shatter if he looked away even for a second. My other hand came up to cradle my injured arm, hiding it from Mark.

‘Ellie,’ He mumbled suddenly, his voice quiet.

‘It’s okay, I’m fine.’

‘Did you, did you do these?’ He asked softly, fingers moving slightly closer toward almost as though he wanted to reach out and help. I couldn’t bring myself to let him, I couldn’t even bring myself to give him an honest answer.

‘I don’t wanna talk about it.’ I let myself whisper.

‘They look pretty serious.’

‘They’re fine.’ I answered quickly, gaping up at him with cold eyes trying my best to remain completely composed. Though I knew tears were poking at my orbs, my cheeks hot with embarrassment.

‘Okay.’ Mark mumbled sadly, his voice rough as if it were nearly breaking. In part, I was still glad he hadn’t mentioned the search history though I was sure self-harming was a little more serious that some searches. His voice closed off altogether, and his body began drifting from my desk. Hands lifting from the surface as his eyes disconnecting from mine. It should have been a relief but instead, it only made me feel worse.

As Mark continued to tread away from me, I felt a nauseating thought that he might tell someone overwhelm me. My chest burning as I blurted out his name into the office, his head turning and feet stepping nearer me, so I could keep my voice quiet.

‘Please don’t tell anyone.’

‘Of course.’ He muttered back to me, nodding as he spoke trying his best to force a smile over his lips. I mirrored his expression faux security coming over my mouth as I watched him return to wander from me. A tear spat down my cheek as Mark turned the corner to sit back at his own desk, his form disappearing altogether. I felt so entirely awful, for impending that on him, someone who likely wanted nothing to do with me, or my own looming thoughts about pain and masochism. Someone who likely wanted to work alongside with me with no hassle, and now he knew so much more than I’d ever intended. I felt I had ruined it, ruined whatever chance I had at a friendship with someone nearer my own age, with someone as polite and witty as Mark. I’d ruined it, and I felt now as though my communications with him were entirely over, that the conversation would be our last.

I tried to not talk about work too much with Rose and tried not to discuss personal things with any one of my co-workers. I kept the two entirely separate and merely peddled through life aimlessly, allowing a sense of emptiness to come over me. Routine bevelled down into me so strongly that I couldn’t envision myself ever straying from it, and that, upset me. I returned home again, an entire week since I had spoken to Mark, since he had seen two sides of myself that I kept locked up. I tried not to think about it much and Mark had continued to smile at me as we passed one another in the hallway but it still felt like a nagging scab.

My body pulled itself from the chilly atmosphere on the street into the familiar warmth of my home. Feet pacing up the stairs until I stepped into the living room and spotted Rose sprawled out across the sofa. A throw away television show was chattering away in the background, though Rose quickly forgot about it as she heard my entry. Her head poking up from its place on the couch, her beaming grin greeting me as I strode further into the room, my dull expression a juxtaposition to hers. I wandered over and slumped my body beside her on the sofa, limbs a jangled mess as they stretched my work clothes. I grumbled beneath my breath, Rose sitting up, allowing me more room as she chuckled at my obvious displeasure. Her hand cradled my shoulder, careened around me on the back of the sofa while I melted into her hold, thankful to be home. I huffed out a relieved sigh, my eyes scrunching as Rose again, merely chuckled.

‘You alright, pumpkin?’ Rose asked, my eyes opening to look at her as I nodded in response.

‘Just knackered.’

‘The harsh reality of the working world.’ My roommate exclaimed dramatically, throwing her free arm out into the air as she threw her head back. I felt a supple grin nudge the corners of my lips but still, I couldn’t make myself smile, not even for Rose.

I groaned from below, head slumped on the pillows surrounding my motionless form. ‘Says you! You go on dates for a living.’ I felt a chuckle leave my lips, looking up to find Rose grinning back at me. We didn’t often discuss her profession, she had only briefly mentioned her multitude of perverted sugar daddies and the snippets I heard made me feel sick. Though it didn’t make me think any less of her, in fact, it only gained her more of my respect.

‘Hey, you know how hard it is to keep a customer satisfied? Especially when that customer is an old, white, closeted gay man.’

‘And you’re very talented at it.’ I added, lifting myself so I could sit up and maintain eye contact without my neck snapping. Rose beamed and shrugged as she often did when receiving compliments.

‘I know, I’m brilliant.’ I giggled as she spoke, leaning my head on the soft muscle of her bicep. My forced laughter filled the room so wholly that I almost missed the question that then fell from Rose’s mouth.

‘So, any girls or guys you like?’

My head perked up from her arm, eyes squinting for a moment before I pieced together what she had asked. I immediately understood that she was referring to Mark, who I had mentioned in passing once or twice. Though the only information I had let out was that he was sweet, attractive and close to my age. If Rose had asked me the same question the week prior, I may have been inclined to grin entirely smitten and mumble away about the crescent shape Mark’s hair naturally fell in. Or the way his bottom lip would dip between his teeth in concentration, or how he mumbled cute profanities when the coffee machine wouldn’t work. But now, I just felt upset, knowing that I couldn’t rant away about him like an infatuated schoolgirl. Instead, as Rose waited for an answer, I pulled my knees up to my chest and huffed.

‘No, not really.’

‘What about that skinny Asian kid from work?’ Rose interrogated, a slight smile coming to my mouth at how she referred to Mark. Out of all the physical qualities, she had picked that he was skinny and Asian as the defining ones though I supposed, to anyone that only knew him in passing, that’s all he was.

‘Mark?’

‘Yeah, yeah, the guy from work.’

‘You mean, the skinny Asian kid from work?’ I quipped, eyebrows furrowed as Rose rolled her dark orbs.

‘I couldn’t remember his name, I’m sorry.’

‘It’s cool.’ I mumbled, hoping we could forget the topic of Mark altogether.

‘So?’ Rose nudged me with the tip of her elbow, prodding the bone into the pulpy flesh of my upper arm.

‘So?’

‘You like him, right?’

‘Uh, yeah, he’s cute.’ I said, trying to stay nonchalant, as though it were a surface level sort of thing, like most crushes were supposed to be.

‘And he’s nice?’

‘Yeah.’ I mumbled staring down at my feet, feeling the words Mark had said to me last roll back like patient waves on a shore.

‘So, ask him out.’ Rose near commanded, her voice higher in pitch as she muttered the suggestion. My eyes snapped upward to glare at her, head shaking adamantly while she merely smiled at me. As though she knew something I was completely hidden from. I continued shaking my head, face tensing.

‘Why not?’

‘I just, I don’t know.’ I exclaimed, my voice raising in volume as I began to feel more strongly about the topic. ‘There’s so many things that could go wrong with dating, and relationships and besides, I have no idea what I’m doing with, any of it.’

‘Ask him to teach you.’ Rose uttered, wiggling her eyebrows furiously. My palm came up to lightly tap her arm, though it didn’t stop the giggles from filling the entirety of the room.

‘No! Oh my god!’

Rose continued to laugh as the idea of my virtue, of the concepts that roamed the depths of her mind while mine sank to a different place. Recalling how, if even I wanted to try something with Mark, I couldn’t. My laughs stopped completely, mind replaying out last conversation as though it were one of the macabre erotic films I watched when I was younger.

‘He, saw my cuts last week,’ I whispered, barely audible but still, Rose caught it. Her laughter stopping and head raising as she listened intently. ‘At work.’

‘Saw them, saw them?’

‘Yeah, he, uh, yeah.’ I stifled, my voice cracking.

‘Did he say anything?’ Rose asked. I was unsure how to answer that question for I was unsure what a normal person would say if they saw a co-worker self-harming. If it would be more rational to throw a fit like I had expected, or merely go on with life like you’d never known, like Mark had.

‘Not really. It, um, it kinda seemed like he was, but then he didn’t. I asked him not to, not to tell anyone or anything like that, so he didn’t. He did exactly what I told him to.’ I explained miserably.

‘He’s nice.’

‘Yeah…’ I mumbled, trying to shake the sombre from my bones, ‘can we talk about something else, um, what about Andy?’

‘Andy?’ Rose repeated as though she had never heard that name in her life which caused me to sigh.

‘Yeah, how is he? I haven’t seen him since we went out, and you haven’t talked about him.’

‘Oh, he’s okay.’ Rose stated, as if I should have known. ‘We’re just, not seeing each much at the moment, he works,’ she rolled her eyes, ‘beside, we’re in an open relationship, it’s not like I’m lonely. Guys flock to me, because,’ she waited for me to answer.

‘Because you’re gorgeous, and sexually insatiable, as I have heard on numerous occasions.’

‘And,’

‘And?’

‘I’m hung.’ Rose said triumphantly, smiling ear to ear fraudulently. ‘The body of a twink and the feminine mind of a lady.’

‘And soon, you’ll have the mind of a woman and the body of one, right? I mean, they’re starting you on hormone at some point?’ Rose had mentioned hormone a couple times and often obsessed over her doctor’s appointment, I understood why. It was imperative that she transition soon, she had waited for so long already.

‘Sure, next month apparently,’ she shrugged, ‘but I’m not done saving up money and I need a lot of it, for top surgery.’ I hadn’t heard the term before and I couldn’t put my finger on what it meant.

‘Top surgery?’ I enquired like a bewildered child.

‘Boobs.’

‘Oh,’ I felt stupid for not getting it though Rose seemed to take pity on that fact, ‘well, you’ll get them soon. And besides, boobs are overrated anyway.’ I consoled her. I knew the pain of lugging around the lumps of fat on my chest and often wished my breasts to shrink down until they were pretty and perky. But for Rose, it was incredibly important that she experience every facet of being a woman, because she was one.

‘Not for me, I’ve wanted them since I was eight, I want them so bad.’ She groaned, pushing her hands against the stuffed bra she always wore.

‘I’ll donate, you can have mine.’ I smiled, falling into her once more as she held my form in her arms.

‘Aw, thank you chick pea.’ I giggled at the return of her nicknames and listened as she laughed in harmony with me. Our chuckles poured out into the room, dancing through the air until they were burrowed beneath a louder, harsher sound. The sound of our telephone ringing out into the flat, deafening us with its powerful spray of noise. I was taken aback, shocked by the sound though I was the one to jump up. Lifting myself from beside Rose and running across the room to grab the device, doing anything to stop the sound. My thumb hit answer and my fingers pressed the phone to my ear as the loud ringing abruptly stopped.

I waited for a voice.

‘Hello?’ I called out into the phone.

‘Is this Ellie, uh, Ellie Brewer?’ The accent, the accent. It danced to me through the phone line, I knew, merely from the accent alone.

‘Yes, sorry, who’s speaking?’ I questioned although my mind had already latched onto the answer.

‘Oh, shit, sorry. It’s Mark, hi.’ He audibly worried, his voice spewing out short words as though his mind were too cloudy to process anything more.

‘Hi.’ I mewled back to him.

‘Sorry for calling out the blue.’

‘No, no, it’s cool, I just, didn’t expect it.’ It was me who was flapping, my speech awkward and all too breathy for my natural tone. My stomach was in knots, chest barely able to breathe without feeling the relief of burn that riled over it. Mark had called me, he had called me with no prompt, merely because he wished to do so. It felt fake, as though my vision were coated with a dreamlike sensation that tingled in my fingertips.

‘What’s up?’ I called out to him once more, this time stifling my nerves until he wouldn’t be able to hear them.

‘Do you, wanna go for a drink with me?’ Mark asked softly, the deepness of his accent pouring out to me over the phone line. An ache dulled in my loin, fingers shaking as they struggled to hold the phone to my ear.

‘Uh sure,’ I coughed out through thick nerves, ‘when?’

‘Now?’ He asks, my chest aching ten times over. I began to panic, now? I felt awful, full of snot and slumber from long hours of work though the idea of seeing Mark invigorated me like nothing else ever had.

‘Right,’

‘Is it bad timing?’ He began worrying aloud again.

‘No, no, I’d love to.’ I cut him off.

‘Cool,’ I listened to him sigh on the other side of the line, his transfixing groan fluttering toward me yet again, making my stomach turn. ‘If you tell me your address, I could come pick you up?’

‘Yeah, yeah,’ I glanced back at Rose who was merely sat staring at me, her eyes wild and smile crazed. Though giddy curiosity smirked over her face, I knew she could already guess who was on the phone. I grinned back at her before turning all my attention once again, to Mark. ‘It’s 56 Gresham Road, near Brixton Station.’

‘Oh right, cool.’

‘Is that close to you?’

‘About twenty minutes away, it’s not too far. So, when should I come round?’ He enquired rather innocently.

‘Couple hours?’

‘Yeah, yeah, cool, cool. I’ll see you then.’

‘See you in a bit.’ I mumbled back to him before putting the phone back down on the stand, allowing the call to come to an end. My hands gripped the side of the bookshelf for stability, my skin feverishly sweaty. Mark called.

As I turned back around and trail back to the sofa, Rose stared at me in awe, clearly concerned about my expression. One of panic, dazed, excited, but panic, nonetheless. She waited for me to sit beside her before the sudden tsunami of questions hits me, her hand holding onto my covered forearm as I gazed up at her.

‘Was that?’

‘Mark.’ I nodded slowly, a smile beginning to crack at my lips, mouth outstretched until I looked sufficiently crazy. Though by the time I said his name, Rose seemed as dizzily happy as I was, her giggles roaming the room. She jumped in her spot on the sofa, tugging on my arm.

‘Really! Oh my god, did you give him your number?’

‘No, I think he got it from Marge, another co-worker, office mum, wants me to get out there.’ I chuckled, still bewildered by the call. I sat back on the couch, allowing it to sink in, that he would be here in two hours.

‘So? What did he say?’

‘He invited me out for drinks.’ I grinned up at Rose, my body leaning into her as I chuckled.

‘Yes! When?’

‘In two hours.’

‘Holy shit, holy shit.’ Rose continued to mumble the two words underneath her breath, eyes skipping across the room in more panic than I had.

‘I know.’

‘Right,’ she said calmly, standing up before me and reaching out her hands. I placed my fingers in her palms, allowing her to haul me up from the comfort and safety of the sofa. ‘We have to make you look fuckable.’

‘Rose!’ I exclaimed, partially offended that she didn’t think I looked fuckable in that moment, or always. But also beginning to panic that that was why Mark had invited me out. My thighs pursed together in worry yet supple, slightly too innocent curiosity.

‘More fuckable.’ Rose corrects herself.

‘Thanks.’ I roll my eyes, my hands sweaty as Rose guides me from the living room and toward her room. A room filled with glitters and showy clothes, things that were gorgeous, beautiful like Rose. My stomach tightened at the idea of wearing anything but a pencil skirt in the presence of Mark.

‘C’mon, I’ll help you get ready.’ My friend insisted, leading me to her makeshift salon as I mentally prepared myself for all that was to come that night. A thick belt of nerves gulping down my throat all at once.

The knock finally came after twenty minutes of sitting around, after Rose had finished her renovation job on me. I felt sick, and shy all of a sudden. Rose had to nudge my arm to pry me from my seat, watching proudly as I waved her goodbye and disappeared down the stairs. My feet shook as I wandered the steps, my trainers more comfortable than the stilettos Rose had suggested. I hadn’t the strength to walk in them all night and besides, if I had worn them, I would likely tower over Mark.

Mark.

He would be stood behind the door, not in a silver suit that was slightly too large for him. He would be wearing normal clothes, his tired eyes a little sleepy this late into the night, his hair messy. My thighs tensed, pushing myself to the door and pulling the barrier back with nervous fingers. As the separation disappeared, I was finally able to see the boy stood on my doorstep. I felt myself smile at the mere sight of him, his eyes glancing over my figure as his bottom lip tucked between his teeth. I was definitely out of my comfort zone, but there was no doubt that Rose had improved upon me. Styling me almost methodically to show off every good feature, my breasts, bright eyes, long legs. And somehow still minimizing my boyish hips and waist and my fat that loomed over my tummy and legs. I didn’t mind the way I looked when Rose styled me, I felt good, almost bordering on confident. Though I was nothing compared to how Mark appeared in the darkening light of the street.

The relaxed atmosphere only seemed to highlight how beautiful he was. Hair tousled and messy, exposing his forehead only slightly, it fell naturally, like the branches of a tree. Scattered onto his skin that shone underneath the streetlight, dotted moles appearing like stars in the consolation of his complexion. I wished to kiss him then and there, and let this immense longing be done with. Though instead, I smiled politely and stepped down off my doorstep to wander with him. Watching as he pulled the sleeves of his brown jumper up to show his forearms, his hands almost begging to be held. I found the courage to step away from the safety of my home and begin the journey to whichever bar Mark was to choose.

‘You look really nice.’ I mumbled toward him, his eyes lighting up as he grinned. His fingers began to fumble around themselves, his posture still tense.

‘Thanks, you look, really pretty.’ I merely smiled in response, the wideness of the grin far too toothy but still, I hoped he would find it endearing anyhow.

We only spoke fleetingly to one another as we ambled through the streets, though his eyes were stuck to me like pins, looking as I admired each building. I liked being watched by him, I liked being underneath the scrutiny of his care, I enjoyed his gaze attached to me. My fingers fumbled with the ends of my own sleeves, tugging them down instinctively all the way to the bar. I could tell Mark had selected it before coming to pick me up, that it wasn’t a spur of the moment choice. Instead, it seemed he had deliberately picked a bar that was warm, full of energy and bright lights, everything that would peak my interest. My eyes widened up at him as we wandered into the building, the silence between us comfortable, natural. I inspected each detail of the bar, the neon signs attached to the walls, the pretty pastel colour palette, the selection of alcohol lining the bar wall. A wash of shock came over me when I saw how empty the bar was though I knew most people favoured louder clubs. In this building however, the music was quiet, peaceful as was the atmosphere. I stood, merely gawping up at it all as Mark chuckled, the angelic sound bringing my attention back down upon him.

He sat at the bar first, tapping the seat beside him with his slender fingers. I watched intently and followed his motion, placing myself next to his figure and staring up at him for the next order.

‘What would you like to drink?’

‘Are we,’ I leant in slightly, ‘drinking alcohol?’

Mark chuckled, ‘If you like.’

‘I’ll just have a coke.’ I smiled at him, feeling slightly clueless without the guidance of Rose with me. I watched as Mark ordered the drinks, his voice calm and smooth as he did so. It was odd seeing him out of the office like this, where he and everyone else were equals instead of him being surrounded by older people. In here, Mark seemed entirely in control of himself and the atmosphere entirely.

‘This is awkward?’ He half asked.

‘No,’ I shook my head immediately, ‘I don’t feel awkward, I’m just, a little bit nervous.’

‘You’re nervous?’ Mark chuckled, raising his eyebrows and shaking his head a little. I smiled at his adorable actions.

‘Yeah.’

‘I was nervous to ask,’ he confessed, pressing a finger to his chest, ‘I’ve been trying to rile up the courage to do it all week.’ I felt my chest tighten as he spoke, his words sweet like honey. I began to let my mind drift to our previous, brief conversation, how that would have added to his nerves, or even caused them.

‘Is that the only reason you didn’t ask sooner?’ I enquired softly, my voice just above a whisper. Mark pulled himself closer to my stool, his knee skimming against the thigh high socks Rose had put me in. I pressed my thighs tighter together, afraid if I opened them any amount that I would show much more than I expected.

‘Well, that and, I needed to think, I guess.’ Mark sighed as he spoke, lifting a hand and sprawling his digits out in his hair. As he dropped the hand back to his jeans with a soothing slap, he spoke again. ‘Does that sound like an excuse, it isn’t, I just.’

‘No, not at all.’ I interrupted.

‘Cool.’ He smiled to himself and looked up as the bartender returned with two glasses. The tall man placed them down onto the table top.

‘Here you are, one coke and one Ribena, enjoy.’ He smiled politely, exchanging the drinks with Mark’s money before leaving us once more. Mark cupped his face in his palm, sighing as he let his features drop against the shield. I merely giggled.

‘Well, that’s embarrassing.’ Mark groaned, peering up and looking over his childish drink.  

‘No, no, it’s cute.’ I assured him, watching as he immediately pulled the drink toward himself.

‘In that case.’ He mumbled and began taking sips from the glass and I followed his actions, allowing the benign fluid to fill my tummy. We sat for a moment and let our drinks settle, before Mark began fidgeting again, shuffling in his seat.

‘So,’

‘So?’ I giggled.

‘Tell me all about yourself.’

‘Myself.’ I whispered beneath my breath.

‘Yeah.’ Mark chuckled as I began thinking to myself about how much I should tell him. I wondered if I should lie and create an elaborate and entertaining back story for myself, although I decided against it. I wanted to be honest with Mark and so, I let myself speak candidly.

‘Well, I’m from a tiny village just outside of Sheffield, I moved here a couple weeks before I started work, and I’ve been doing that ever since. I’ve had it planned out for a long time.’ I explain and though it wasn’t much, it is the most information I had told anyone in London all at once, in one long breath.

‘That’s it? No family, no heart wrenching stories about your first love, no scandalous secrets?’ I chuckled as Mark complained, watching him list the things that I didn’t have.

‘I have family.’

‘That’s a start, go on.’

‘My dad and older brother left when I was a baby, so, I don’t know them whatsoever. I was left with my mum and grandma, who were both pretty overprotective, so its just me now, well and Rose.’ I mumbled out coldly, speaking on such things as though they weren’t members of my family. I didn’t feel they were anyone, I felt everything from before London was merely fragments of a past life.

‘Rose?’ Mark enquired gently, and he sipped more juice from his glass.

‘My roommate, she dressed me.’ I shrugged, pulling at the loose material of my skirt and the much tighter material of my shirt. The stiffness of the silk garment sticking to my curves like leeches, the cleavage much lower than anything my work clothes showed.

‘I need to buy Rose a thank you present.’

‘Shut up!’ I groaned at him, bringing a single hand down upon his thigh. He mumbled beneath his breath and chuckled at my feeble actions, merely staring at me as I took another gulp of my drink and grew more comfortable in his presence.

‘So, what about you?’

‘Me?’ He quipped, pointing to himself dramatically as I rolled my eyes.

‘Yes!’

‘So, obviously, I’m not from here.’

‘Evidently.’ I said, trailing off in my own accent which was a million times less attractive as his.

‘I can’t tell if that was an accent joke, or an Asian joke?’ Mark squinted his eyes as me as I giggled, slightly taken aback by how warm his sense of humour was. I slowly forgot about my modesty as my figure melted into him, my nerves dissipating almost entirely. My thighs parted enough to let one of Mark’s knees sit between them, the contact kind and not alerting whatsoever.

‘Accent.’ I confirmed through giggles.

‘No, yeah, I’m originally from Vancouver.’ He said, sipping his drink as his accent grew thick and almost as palpable as a third person. Canada, that explained quite a lot, the awkward politeness for a start.

‘Oh, cool.’

‘Yeah, Vancouver until I was eight, and then Queens, in New York from eight until thirteen and then Ontario, Canada until I was eighteen and then, I moved here on my lonesome.’ He listed the places on his fingers, losing eye contact with me to recall all the places he had lived.

‘So, your family is still in Canada?’

‘Yeah, my parents and older brother all live over there, rest of my family is mostly in Korea, I think.’ Mark explained away as a larger picture of his life began to form in my mind. It brought a fuzzy feeling to my stomach, to think about what his childhood had been like. If he was a creative kid who sat indoors scrawling childish drawings over the walls or if he played soccer outside with his dad and brother. The more I thought about it, the wider my smile became and the more I wanted to know.

‘But you’re close?’

‘Oh yeah, don’t see them as much as I would like to but we’re close, we’ve always been really close.’

‘That’s nice.’ I smiled, thinking back to my own parents, the brother I knew nothing about. In a way, I was a bit jealous of Mark, but I also knew that I knew very little about his childhood, certainly not enough to decide whether it warranted jealousy.

‘It is.’ He smiled warmly.

‘What made you decide London?’ I enquired further, wishing to pull all the information I could.

‘Oh, well, I’ve always wanted to live in England, and London is, you know,’ he chuckled, ‘massive. I decided to go to college here after high school, so I studied music for a year and then switched to business. And then, boom, here I am working in stocks.’ Mark chuckled once more, this time dryer.

‘Just like that.’ I repeated, my fingers skimming the top of my glass. Allowing each of his words to sink in deeply.

‘Just like that. What, what about you, why London?’

‘It’s big,’ I laughed at myself, pushing fallen strands of hair from my face as my eyes kept to Mark. Watching him smile at me, his round orbs still as tender as ever. ‘Pretty much the opposite of where I grew up.’

‘You didn’t like it?’ He enquired rather curiously, his expression growing slightly more serious.

‘No, not really.’

‘Why?’

‘I just, grew up very sheltered. I hardly ever left the village,’ I explained, downplaying its actuality, ‘I had very little experience with anything, so, I kind of needed to go out on my own.’

Mark merely nodded along to my words, though eventually his eyes began to wander. Dancing from my features, down my figure until they became entranced on my forearms. Watching how the material of my jacket twisted as I leant to sip from my glass, his eyes unravelling the thing, so he could see what lingered below, if anything were still lingering

‘Mark?’ I called out to him, gazing as his head perked up and eyes returned to mine.

‘Yeah.’

‘Did you, I mean, tell anyone about the,’ I couldn’t quite bring myself to say it. Bring myself to reminisce as though it were a real thing that had happened, still I couldn’t do it. Not even as I sat with Mark at the bar, where I had been laughing and bonding with him.

‘No, no, no one.’ He assured me immediately though I could still see his eyes drawing back to my arms, wheels spinning in his head.

‘You want to ask.’ I stated plainly.

‘No,’ Mark tried to keep his eyes merely upon my face, but I could tell even when he weren’t looking down that he wanted to know, almost needed to. ‘I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.’ He insisted.

‘But you’re curious.’

‘A little.’ He said quickly, as though I would scold him for saying such a thing. Instead, I felt myself grow calmer, better about the situation now Mark seemed oddly interested in it.

‘I’ve never really spoken to anyone about it.’ I admitted, chuckling as I did so, as if to lessen the blow.

‘You don’t have to,’ Mark told me quickly, his voice a little louder, hand itching to cradle my arm. I sighed as he spoke, staring down as I placed both my hands in the centre of my lap. ‘I just,’ he sighed, ‘I want to know why? Its been picking at me all week.’

My eyes closed, another sigh bubbling in my throat as he mumbled the words into the air. I wondered if that was the only reason he had asked me out, if I had become but a side show attraction to entertain him. I hoped better of him, I didn’t want him to merely think of me as a broken toy, I wanted him to see me whole, as an equal.

‘Are you here just because of that?’ I mumbled, my question coming out frail and almost inaudible. Head facing the ground before I pushed myself to gently peer up at Mark, my eyes big and longing.

‘What? No,’ Mark answered immediately, voice angrier though it didn’t seem to be directed at me but merely my question. I felt a spur of comfortability lean back into my stomach, my eyes finding it easier to keep contact with him. ‘You intrigue me.’ He blurted.

‘What,’

‘You intrigue me.’ Mark repeated. ‘I sit at my desk and I wonder what’s going on in your head, what you’re thinking about, who you’re thinking about,’

‘Mark,’ I groaned, almost interrupting him although he hurried out the words, seemingly afraid if he stopped speaking that he wouldn’t be able to begin again.

‘I wonder about you all the time, I think about you all the time. I’ve just been too nervous to ask anything, I’m, trying to take that leap.’ He said honestly, looking down as finally he stopped speaking. As my chest pounded from the speeding rate of my heartbeat, I waited for the moment to settle. A thousand thoughts spiralling through my head as I desperately tried to catch the flying words in order to make a coherent sentence. All I could think of that made sense was that he had earned the right to know, as much as I did about why I hurt myself.

I gulped, stomach tensing as I rushed out one singular sentence. ‘I used to cut myself as a punishment.’

‘For what?’ Mark enquired calmly, leaning into me a little more. His denim covered knees prodding my inner thigh.

‘For being me,’ I shrugged, shuffling against his touch, ‘for thinking the way I did, for feeling the things I felt, for looking the way I looked. I punished myself for anything I possibly could.’

‘But?’ Mark added, eyebrows raised. I pondered over how he knew that there was more, that my reasoning had changed over the years. I questioned my features, if my expression had given it away or if Mark was now able to read my mind.

‘It stopped being that when I was about sixteen,’ I continued confessing, the words pouring from me like water seeping into a broken boat. ‘Since then, I, I don’t really know why I do it.’

‘Can I ask something? And you don’t have to answer,’ Mark told me, placing the tips of his fingers on the edge of my knee as he spoke. Nodding at me as though he were a parent warning me against danger, and watching patiently as I in turn, nodded back. ‘If it makes you uncomfortable, throw the Ribena in my face and I will leave, I’ll leave you alone.’ I wanted to beg him never to leave me alone, never.

‘Okay.’ I merely replied, giggling at I spoke.

Mark inhaled deeply, as if he were about to place devastating news upon me. Though instead, he merely asked one, fairly simple question. ‘Do you cut yourself because you get off on it?’

I couldn’t breathe, suddenly it felt like I was floating, my body adrift in the air watching the scene play out from above. I couldn’t speak, my throat was clenched and burning from the immediate thoughts that rolled through my brain. Mark was right in his assumption. I did get off on feeling the pain that harming myself brought. I’d never had anyone else to confide in, any other way to express it. Cutting myself worked, it was swift relief, and I didn’t have to tell anyone about it then. I merely convinced myself I was being punished instead of being gifted the pain I received. Mark was right, and I had no clue how he was right. For the first time since arriving in London, I felt entirely outsmarted, confused about feelings I thought I had figured out years ago. I now understood, I knew nothing about my own sexuality, my own being. I hadn’t known it had been the pain I got off on, I hadn’t known there was any other way to receive pain sexually if you weren’t inflicting on yourself. And now, someone who seemed to know that perfectly sat in front of me, and I couldn’t find my voice.

‘Let me, let me reword that,’ Mark continued after a few moments of silence, ‘do you, cut yourself because you get off on pain? Is it, that, doing that is the only way you’ve ever known to deal with it?’ Right again.

I simply nodded, still too nervous to speak although I rutted up the courage to give him a sort of response. Mark began to nod along with me as he mumbled an okay beneath his breath.

‘How did you?’ I stifled out, my curiosity getting the better of me.

‘The search history, the, well, you seemed confused about it. I tried to put two and two together.’

‘You’re not confused?’ I questioned, trying to relieve my nerves with a stiff, awkward chuckle. It bellowed into the air dry as I waited for Mark to respond, sipping my drink to soothe my throat.

‘A little, but not as much as you.’ He smiled innocently, calming my anxiousness more than my drink seemed to.

‘Thanks,’ I muttered through more chuckles, another question pouring out on the end of my laughter, ‘so, do you, as well?’ I couldn’t bare to make myself say it. Hey, do you also get off on being hurt? It sounded ridiculous and I could understand why it had taken Mark so long to ask. Though if he felt similarly, it would make sense for him to be so knowledgeable about the topic.

‘No, I,’ Mark cut himself off, though his eyes still held the glimmer of something he wanted to say. I wondered what could be so bad, worse than what I had just admitted to him. My stomach tightened as he fell to silence before beginning once more, ‘I’m normal.’

‘Normal.’ I repeated, slightly offended.

‘I didn’t mean, like that.’

‘I know,’ I said whilst smiling, ‘you’re just a wimp, what do people say? Um, vanilla, that’s it.’

Mark laughed at my words, his eyes closing as he leant his head back. When he returned to glance at me, his eyes seemed darker, pupils dilated. His head careening upward, almost cocking to the side. ‘That’s probably it.’

‘Well, as long as it’s not pee.’ I mumbled.

‘No, no,’ Mark laughed harder, more genuine this time, his voice cracking as he giggled. ‘Nothing like that.’

I merely watched him giggle until my eyes latched upon the dark sky outside, and the completely empty bar, my nerves returning. ‘It’s getting pretty late.’

‘Okay, c’mon,’ Mark pulled away from his stool suddenly, the heat from his covered legs disappearing from underneath my skirt. A groan threatened to pass my lips as Mark stood tall above my seated figure. I waited for a moment and then followed him, expecting a goodbye to slip through his mouth, instead, he added on to what he had previously said, ‘I’ll walk you home.’

We wandered through the same streets we had walked upon when Mark had first picked me up. Although now, they were completely barren of any people, and the street lights seemed dim in comparison to the brightness of the moon. The two of us giggled along to awful jokes, and fleeting recollections of childhood memories, as I tried my best to think of good occasions from my childhood. I puzzled if he would bring up the topic of masochism again, since he now knew that was what I was as now, I did too. But it seemed he wouldn’t and the closer we walked to my flat, the more disappointed I felt that he hadn’t questioned me on it further. A boil of tension unravelled in my loin, a tension that seemed it was going to stay a long while.

I stood on my doorstep once more, facing outward as Mark slowly stopped chuckling from a joke he himself had muttered five minutes prior.

‘Thank you for tonight, I had a really good time, a really, really nice time.’ I muttered through a wide smile, and rosy, aching cheeks. My cold fingers unhooking my hair from my mouth as Mark finally stopped giggling.

‘Me too.’ He grinned. ‘We should, we should do this again some time.’ I felt my chest burst at his words.

‘Definitely.’

‘I’ll see you at work on Monday?’ Mark asked uselessly, as if he were merely saying things, so he had an excuse to stay for a moment longer. My hands knotted together through jumbled fingers, my smile beaming out into the darkness of my street.  

‘Of course.’ I giggled girlishly.

‘Okay, um, goodnight.’ He finally said, standing motionless but turning a fragment from me. I figured he was likely waiting until I had gone in safely but realising I had to be the one to walk away was aggravatingly painful.

‘Night.’ I mewled before turning to walk back into my flat, before saying goodbye to Mark properly. It felt like something was missing in my stomach, something that was hooked upon him like an anchor. As I unlocked my house and heard the slow footsteps of Mark wandering away, I spun on my heels and headed back toward him.

As I stood on my tip toes, I pursed my lips and pressed them to the supple complexion of Mark’s cheek. My kiss soothing out against his skin, lingering for a brief moment before I stepped back and smiled at him. Mark seemed slightly taken aback, his mouth hanging open a little, merely watching me as I began to wander from him again. Though I only got two steps before I felt a grip tense over my wounded forearm, tight enough to make me wince with pain. I stared back at Mark, allowing him to pull me closer, my chest nearly colliding with his.

We were closer than we had ever been, so close I could feel every breath he took, every hair on my body standing to attention. I knew when he looked at me that we would kiss; I may have been naïve, but I wasn’t that naïve. I wanted to grin, giddy about it but my mind clouded over with intense want for him, deep, carnal want. Mark waited until I melted into him and then lifted his hand from his own side, pressing it to my jaw. His fingertips cold from the weather, but slickly warm in their own way, as if they were dancing over my skin while remaining stationary. This close, I could see every detail of his features, the way both his eyes were hooded and covered by double eyelids but still somehow shined brighter than any star I’d ever seen. The way his shoulders seemed broader up close, the way his Adam’s apple bobbed when he gulped. The way his nose had a slight bump in the bridge, his lips shining when his tongue dipped out to moisten them. I felt as though I would explode if he didn’t kiss me, and so I leant in a fragment, and waited for him to pull me the rest of the way.

Our noses touched first, his head tilting so he could consume my lips with his kiss. I not only felt it on my mouth, but on my whole body. In my thighs, in my fingertips, in the depths of my heat. My hands reached out and clasped a hold of his waist to steady myself, while Mark moved his face with his grip on my jaw. His kiss was sickeningly sweet, the tastes of Ribena and what seemed to be watermelon dancing around his mouth and subsequently mine as he dipped his tongue inward. The muscle tenderly brushing over mine, as Mark brought his other hand up to the opposite side of my face, fingertips spreading out against the flushed skin. It was when his left hand came up to hold my face that his right hand disappeared from it, the weight of his touch removing itself. Though by then, I was so entirely entranced in his kiss that all my senses had rushed to where he touched and seemingly nowhere else.

His fingers reappeared lower, skimming across the tender flesh of my outer thigh, his digits running upward. The cool air of the London street grew to feel like a sauna, my body pressed into Mark as his touch on my thigh grew to be too much. My chest bucked up into his, the tense muscles beneath his jumper flush against my breasts. All the while, his left hand continued to soothe my cheek as though he were telling me to stay calm. I couldn’t stay calm when his fingers were almost touching my underwear, my skirt riled up in the street as I kissed the most beautiful man. As my chest rose up and down violently, I felt something cold press to my ass. At first I considered it could have been merely his fingers, but it was painfully obvious after a moment that they were his keys. He had them gripped so the tip of one was pressed to my flesh, and suddenly, he was pushing down. My mouth opened against Mark, his lips pulled into a smirk that I could feel upon my chin. As a moan fluttered from my mouth, Mark continued dotting kisses over the skin of pink cheeks and a low jaw, while slowly, he pushed his keys deeper into my skin.

I felt the skin tear as the metal broke it, my flesh burning as Mark placed his mouth over mine once more. Swallowing the pathetic mewl that trailed up my throat and down his. I could still feel his smile on me, caused by the relief he was also feeling at the rush of pain I was experiencing. As I breathed deeply, Mark removed his hand from my cheek and placed it on my hip. Moving my waist into the pressure he applied over the skin on my ass, and then back into his own hips. He repeated the actions numerous times, amid his lips smothering mine, the wet flesh of his mouth like the most intoxicating of alcohols. The pain began to throb and the mix of warmth I felt from his lips on me, and our noses brushing one another made a beating begin in my loin. Moving downward until I could feel it throb in my core, moans harbouring in my throat as Mark slid the key across my skin once more. This was what I had done to myself, only now, I received warmth and comfort from it too. I felt a rush of affection stir with the pain until it concocted a mellow of euphoria, the tension in my stomach unravelling all at once.

After Mark made his fifth cut with the key, he removed it from my skin. Lips pulling back from my mouth as well, leaving me desperately untouched. He pulled my skirt back into place, both hands moving back up to my cheeks. I could feel drops of blood dashing down the backs of my thighs, staining the yellow socks that clad my legs. The sensation made me smile, watching as Mark mirrored my expression. His mouth pressing to mine one more time, a brief, genial peck that made butterflies float to my stomach. I giggled as Mark released my cheeks and pulled back from me entirely.

‘I’ll see you on Monday.’ He whispered as he had a few minutes ago only this time, it felt completely different, definite, threatening almost. His words only widened my grin as I watched him wander from my street and disappear around the corner, leaving me alone with all the sensations I had just experienced. All the things I was now assuming. That even if he didn’t know it, Mark happened to be just like me and somehow simultaneously the opposite. A sadist.

[daretosnoop]

Lessons I learned from the Games

Most of this is just silly, some are actual lessons.

SCK/SCK2:

If you’re going to get murdered, get revenge by leaving clues to the blackmail you have on potential suspects and hope to god someone figures it out

If you’re investigating a crime, being a random transfer student at the end of the year is probably not the way to go, but no one cares because they’re too busy with college applications.

If your niece is coming to your place to investigate a murder and you’re not there, the least you can do is set up a cage to trap any possible break-ins.

Nothing beats being able to hold a gun to the murderer #whySCKremastered???

Teens dealing with pressures to meet college and parental demands

Teens resorting to drugs

Teens dealing with sexism that’s found in abundance in college and work environments

Teachers not giving a shit about what students are going through.

STFD:

If you’re getting death threats, play it cool. Keeps the perps unhinged

Toxicity of fan culture

Throw all CEOs into the closet

Nothing beats Jazz

If you’re going to commit crime in an actor’s community, you must do it with flare

MHM:

If you’re going to buy a Victorian mansion, the least you can do is check for ghosts. And also hire a carpenter beforehand

Never invest your life’s savings into anything

Treat those who help you with basic decency (my god Rose!)

If you’re snooping on someone, don’t give them any indication that you’re onto them

If someone slips a threatening message under your door, open the door.

Victorian houses have all sorts of booby traps, FIND THEM.

TRT:

Don’t trust anyone who’s eager to be your friend

Trust the weirdos and grumpy people

Learn French

Don’t leave incriminating evidence that reveals your lies

There is no such thing as too much food

Women in history have been badly treated by (male) historians.

It’s called the past for a reason

Turn a bad situation into an opportunity to learn

If you’re going to do crime, at least ensure you have an escape route that’s not blocked by the snow

Don’t date people who pressure you to marry them/ask you to prove your love for them

 FIN:

As a woman, if you want anyone to take you seriously and help, you have to be adamant, sassy, and everything men don’t like to see in women.

If you’re a POC, the chances of the police helping you decreases

Capitalism sucks

Police suck

Misogyny in capitalism

Old theaters are amazing

Don’t trust the person who’s trying to be your friend!!!!!!

Don’t talk to suspects about your case

Have confidence in yourself

 SSH:

Colonialism still exists in the form of capitalism

The art industry is completely profit driven

Mexico and America tensions

The Mayans

They never talked about what happened to the Mayans…..

Don’t deal with shady salesmen

Sometimes saving money contributes to a bad system

If you accepted a position, take your work seriously

Don’t trust the guy trying to be your friend!!!!

Master the art of amnesia should you ever need to use it

Even if you disband a group of art thieves, it’s best to be humble

No one in life is going to help you, even if you get pushed into a monolith

 DOG:

This game is why it’s important to put your dog(s) on a leash! (insert that dog vine: “it don’t bite. Yes it do!”)

If we didn’t have uptight rangers, the parks would be burnt to smithereens

Misogyny exists in the woods

People who are just trying to do their job always get a bad rap even though it’s because of them the park still exists!

Gangsters are bad, but also low-key cool

Get back at your enemies by making a fake grave of them

Old people have interesting stories

Gold can release arsenic into water

Always check well water before using

Wood mice are bad for health

If you’re going to get tied up and tossed into your tool shed, keep a scythe on hand

Go birdwatching at night

Torque is a fancy word for screw driver

If you’re a POC, people are most likely to suspect you.

CAR:

There is no job security if you end up in hospital

Sometimes you really need a 2000 calorie sundae

If you went to jail, people are most likely to suspect you first

Don’t spy on your co-workers

Don’t trust the person who’s trying to be your friend!

Don’t procrastinate on a job

If you’re miserable in life, maybe it’s time to sign up for some therapy

If you have a sad backstory, you’re automatically entitled to everyone’s sad backstory

Mental illness: depression

Health awareness: niacin, don’t eat junk food like a 2000 calorie sundae

Don’t dump someone just because they’re not able to give you a lavish lifestyle

DDI:

If you’re going to trash someone’s boat, don’t leave your business card behind

If you’re tired of small mindedness, it’s best to just leave

It’s always handy in life to know boating skills

If you’re trying to report suspicious activity, communicating by bottles is not the way to go

Don’t feed wild animals!

Capitalism sucks

Look carefully at your environment, you never know what clues are left behind

Always make a plan B in case plan A doesn’t work

Don’t be afraid to explore

SHA:

Never trust the guy who’s trying to be your friend!!!

Always trust the grumpy guy

Horses die easily

There is no such thing as over ripe vegetables

Sunflowers should be planted near gardens so that bees come

Respect chickens

Falling in love with a criminal is difficult when your dad’s a cop

It’s handy to know how to ride a horse

Ghost towns are terrifying

Farmers work hard and should be respected

CUR:

Don’t trust the person who’s trying to be your friend!!!!!!!!!!

Don’t be a negligent parent

Before getting married, make sure your partner has a good relationship with your child

Don’t trust creepy people

America and British will always oppose each other

Talking parrots are always handy

British aristocracy was supported through colonialism #got Loulou on his Travels, uh huh

If you’re a spinster, you’re going to be the mom of something

If you’re afraid of becoming a monster, best be dramatic about it

It’s really important to have good communication between partners

Don’t stick your new wife in a room that still has pictures of your old wife and where all the furniture has covers on them

If you have a manor, you better explore it before some 12-year-old gets hurt exploring it

don’t go to great lengths to protect a rock

calling something that skips every generation a “family tradition” is just rude and exclusive

don’t leave your child alone for so long. Don’t keep them away from people their age

don’t write memories, no one wants to hear your life story

CLK:

if you’re going to presume someone’s identity, you better nail the part down hard

don’t blow up the kitchen when there’s only three people in the house and you were the closest and last one in the kitchen

emotional manipulation

gas lighting

if someone mentions stolen jewellery, putting back what you stole just incriminates you

even if you have psychic abilities, don’t be an ass bout it

no one ever tips because no one like the system. Pay your employees what they deserve!

Even though the depression’s going on, people are still dumping money in psychic lessons and dress making

No one ever gives anything away for free

Even if you’re promised money, don’t put too much trust in the promises of others

Don’t be rude to the person who’s trying to help you

If your partner is demanding to be spoiled during an economic depression, find a better partner

People aren’t as smart as you, tell them straight where you left your will.

 TRN:

The dumb blonde joke is not funny

Cops are useless and unhelpful

People are more willing to listen to adults then teens/young adults

Celebrities are much different in real life then in their celebrity world.

Don’t steal someone else’s ideaà artist theft

Old trains are super cool

People aren’t as smart as you, tell them straight where you hid your treasure

Don’t dump someone just because people think they’re dumb

 DAN:

Capitalism sucks

The fashion industry is brutal

normal size representation

Boss’s can be crappy people

Don’t blackmail people

If you promised to do work, you better dedicate yourself to it

Having a healthy fear of giving away personal information is not a bad thing

Don’t aid stalkers

Covid-precaution: cover face with mask. Act erratic to keep people away from you

Concept of older men dating younger women is actually frowned upon

Love is mysterious

Flashlight on the many women who helped decode during WW2 but largely remain unrecognized by countries today

Forgery is okay sometimes

 CRE:

Indigenous cultures continue to be badly and negatively portrayed in media

Capitalism sucks

Environmentalism

Academia is not as research oriented as one wishes it was

Daddy-issues

Native Hawaiians forced to “work with” big corps in order to survive.

Tourism industry and its affects on the environment and native population

Sometimes an upgrade is not a good thing

ICE:

Animal conservatism

Capitalism sucks

International competitions suck

Running away from humans to hide in a cabin and bonding with a wolf is not a bad thing

Never enter a sauna alone

It’s bad business to kick customers out

If your customers are falling asleep everyday in a common room, it’s probably not a good sign of booming business

Don’t be chill over bombs exploding near your hotel

Always handy to know how to drive a snow mobile

Don’t volunteer to be a maid, ever

Cops are useless

CRY:

Don’t dump your job on your girlfriend

There’s nothing wrong with being emo

Men being emotional and desiring love and affection

Men being abused in relationships

Even if your relative leaves you a ton of money, it’s no excuse for not being a good guardian/parent

Don’t trust strangers. Don’t eat food from random people

Customer service is awful. Even when the customer is trying to instigate a horrible reaction in you, you got to put on a smile

Always trust the eccentric lady

Nancy’s sad backstory allows her to hear everyone else’s sad backstory, unless you’re a guy, I guess.

A date in the cemetery is not a bad idea

If your partner demands you to spoil them, get a new partner

People aren’t as smart as you, tell them where you hid your treasure

VEN:

Anyone can help out on an international mafia case

The mafia is very creative and artistic

Capitalism sucks

Assert your independence as a young woman by dancing in a cat suit on stage? I guess?

Money can be found anywhere

Eat the rich

Don’t trust the person trying to be friends with you

Possessive relationships are red flags

Don’t steal a cheap neckless if you’re a notorious thief

Cops kind of useful for once.

HAU

Don’t pull a prank on your partner before your wedding

Don’t invite someone who used to date your partner and still has feelings for them

If your partner is missing, actually look for them instead of sitting around

Crows are amazing

Fiona might have lost her parents at a young age and her life as a hermit definitely had its side affects, but she also saved herself from the misogyny women endured

RAN:

If your friend gets kidnapped, please, at least fake some concern

Don’t waste time with monkeys

The only other person on the island is probably the culprit

WAV:

Girl bullying can be worse than boy bullying

Don’t trust the person who’s trying to be your friend!!!!!!

  TOT:

Nancy’s sad backstory allows her to hear everyone else’s sad backstory, unless you’re a guy, I guess.

Academic institutions are struggling to fund research

Capitalism sucks

Even if you hate your lead, don’t sabotage the team

Communication is important

Even if you hate your job, don’t sabotage your team

 SAW:

People who resist to change just become boulders in the way of progress

Boomer mentality is soul destroying

Emotional manipulation

Gas lighting

Depression

Sometimes you have to cut away from those you love in order to maintain your sanity

Nancy’s sad backstory allows her to hear everyone else’s sad backstory.

If you have to give your partner a gift every time you fight, you might have relationship problems

Don’t be in a relationship just because you’re used to it

Don’t force someone to adhere to your expectations in life

If you’re unable to talk to your partner and so resort to haunting her inn, you probably have relationship issues