#have i mentioned lately how much joy your fic have brought me?

[thetarttfuldickhead]

🌹 :)

Greetings dear heart, and lots of love for indulging me!

“All right, come on.” Jamie doesn’t get up. “What now?” Plaintantive. “You’re getting your hug, then you can take a shower while I make us some fucking dinner.” “I was joking about that. Just being a dick.” “Yes, you were but no, you weren’t. Come here.”

[chuluoyi]

𝐃𝐀𝐖𝐍'𝐒 𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓 𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓

- zayne x reader

as dawn breaks, a new chapter begins. now husband and wife in the truest sense, both of you embark on the path of happiness together. yet, bittersweet loose ends remain still. will they eventually stay in the past for good, or cast a permanent shadow over your lives?

genre/warnings: 18+ suggestive content—minors do not interact!—fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, pregnancy & sex, mentions of complications related to pregnancy, brief description of childbirth (c-section), hunter!reader (not l&ds mc -> l&ds mc is zayne's late ex-girlfriend here)

note: part 2 to nocturne of twilight. my god, i honestly didn't expect it'd turn out into another 8k fic but here we go :')

Lately, Zayne has come to realize just how much joy you bring to home when you’re happy.

Your smile and giggles simply light up the place.

And moreover, you get happy at the simplest of things—head pats, his snowmen... Even when he responds with jabs just to get a rise out of you, there's always a part of his heart that softens.

Today began just like one of those joyful days. He dropped you off at the Hunter Association base before heading to the hospital, and later, he planned to pick you up and perhaps stop for macarons on the way home—

Or so he thought, until...

"Hello, Dr. Zayne! Sorry for startling you. Can you come to my office? Your wife just collapsed and she is brought here."

. . .

Zayne raced to Dr. Munson's office on the third floor, panic gradually overtook his every step. His mind whirled with all the possible reasons you might end up at—

Ob-gyn office. Wait, what?

The realization struck him just as he flung open the door to his colleague’s office.

"Ah, the man of the hour has arrived!" Dr. Munson greeted him with an ear-to-ear grin.

Zayne gave a quick nod but bypassed him to head straight to the bed where you were.

You looked pale and sluggish, your eyes squeezed shut. He immediately took your hand in his, interlacing your fingers, and you opened your eyes in surprise to see him there.

"Zayne..." you murmured, giving his hand a gentle squeeze and offering a faint smile.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, his voice filled with concern as he gently touched your cool cheek.

"A bit dizzy..."

Seeing you so meek made something inside him lurch. Just this morning, you had been full of life, pouting and playfully teasing him, and now you looked so exhausted.

"Well, maybe you already know this, Dr. Zayne, but still, congratulations!" Dr. Munson clapped his hands merrily. "Your wife is pregnant!"

Pregnant. Zayne stood frozen for a moment. In truth, while the very thought flitted in his mind from the moment he walked in, it didn't make it less surprising all the same. "I see..."

Then he turned to look at you, and to his surprise, you looked away, a shy smile played at your lips, as if you were trying to make yourself as small as possible.

A child. You were with child. His child.

"How far along?"

"Almost ten weeks, give or take. Well, aren't you the one who knows the most?"

"Is she alright? Anything I need to watch out for?"

"Ooh! How sweet!" Dr. Munson laughed crisply. "The cool-headed Dr. Zayne is worrying about his wife! The nurses are going to have a field day when they know this~"

Zayne shot him a look, but didn’t miss a beat as he retorted, "Of course I am."

You looked up at him silently, your heart fluttering at his earnest response. Zayne had always been resilient, but now he seemed more dashing than usual as he fired questions after questions at Dr. Munson about you and the baby.

Baby... both of you were going to become parents. It still felt surreal, but with Zayne’s warm grip on your hand, it began to feel real. You were almost giddy.

But then, it struck you— the baby was around ten weeks.

Then it meant the day of the conception was that night.

. . .

“Here, hold onto me.”

Zayne opened the door to his car and supported you as you carefully stepped out. You were still unsteady on your feet, so he returned you back home to rest rather than heading back to the Hunter Association’s base.

“Have you been feeling unwell these past few days?” he wrapped an arm around your shoulder as you made your way inside. “Usually, the symptoms have been noticeable for a while.”

“Hmmm,” you pursed your lips, feigning coyness. “I... don’t think so?”

Zayne quirked an eyebrow, sending you a withering stare as he realized your ruse. “So you have.”

“Hehe...” you flashed him a sheepish grin, causing him to shake his head in exasperation and pinch your cheek. “Ow!” you squeaked, quickly bringing your hand to your face.

Zayne stifled a smile, then gently guided you to the sofa. He crouched down in front of you, meeting your gaze as he took both of your hands in his.

"You need to tell me these things from now on, alright?" he said, and his steadfast gaze made butterflies flutter in your stomach.

"We..." you started, steeling yourself, "are going to have a baby," you gulped, feeling heat spreading to your cheeks.

He was unfazed. "Mm, we are."

You shifted uneasily, avoiding his gaze. "Are you... happy?"

Your voice wavered at the end, and your hand felt clammy. Suddenly, your stomach too twisted with nausea. Who would've thought that you would conceive a baby from a night that he called a mistake?

However, Zayne tilted his head, seemingly taken aback. "I am."

"Huh?"

"I am happy," he repeated, blinking back at you. "Are you?"

You gaped, caught off guard by his candid response—but then again, when had your husband ever been anything but straightforward?

"But you don’t seem happy!" you accused, pursing your lips. "You’ve been frowning the whole way home."

He shot you a flat look, his expression unchanged. "This is just my face."

You continued to pout, and Zayne sighed. His frown softened as he gently cupped your face, making you look up at him.

"You silly girl, what husband won't be thrilled when they hear that his wife is expecting?" he caressed your face, before poking it. "I'm just worried about you, you still look pale."

"You..." your eyes found his uneasily, at a loss of words. "But this baby is…" Your gaze dropped, anxiety swelling. "From… the night of—"

Your response stunned him, and you didn't dare to look him in the eye. It was still something that gnawed at you inside, because what if—

What if he thought this baby is a mistake?

In that moment, understanding dawned on him. His ashen eyes widened in surprise. You braced yourself for his reaction, but then—

His hand rested on your head, patting you gently. "You carrying our baby..." he faltered, gazed fixed on your averted eyes and then lips. His voice came almost in a whisper:

"This... is the best thing that has happened to me."

Thump! Your heart soared, warmth flooding through you in that very instant as you met his gaze. On the contrary, Zayne felt a crushing weight seeing the tears shining in your eyes. How deeply had he hurt you before that you’d doubt his feelings?

"I promised you that I’ll treasure you better," he said, pulling strands of your hair behind your ears. "This time, let me prove it to you."

Somehow you felt like crying at the sheer sincerity in his words. "You... like the baby?"

A gentle smile touched his lips as he took your hand and pressed a kiss to it. "I do. Truly."

"I... am so happy too," you finally choked up, the first tear slipping down your cheek. You quickly brushed it away, feeling a bit silly for tearing up. "I... have always wanted us to be a family..."

Zayne pulled you into his arms, letting out an exasperated but fond sigh. "A certain someone really does like to cry... And now with a baby on the way, am I going to lose my mind worrying about both of you?"

"Hmph," you wrinkled your nose. "A certain dad-to-be better work on his skills to express himself better, then."

"I'm going to focus my energy on more important things, such as thinking of all ways I should do to keep you from getting into trouble."

"...? I don't get into trouble!"

"You stumble even on empty air, I've seen it myself."

Two years ago, you had envisioned your happily ever after with him, and then you weren't sure if you would get it at all. And now, as you walked towards a new beginning together, you were wholly certain.

At least, that was what you thought.

The days following the reveal of your pregnancy were filled with bliss.

Only that, sometimes... you ask for tall order—

"Zayne... I want that plushie..."

"We have tried it three times already. That machine is rigged."

"B-but! Look, that couple won some!"

Some weeks later, the two of you were at an arcade, and your eyes were literally shining as soon as you saw the Happy Snowman plushie in the claw machine.

And ever since, you had been tugging at his sleeve and dragging him to catch it for you... only to no avail so far.

Zayne pinched the bridge of his nose. "With the way you’re acting, no one would believe you’re about to become a mom."

"Isn't that the whole point?" you fired back, puckering your lips, before mustering your best puppy eyes and bringing your hands together. "Please? Baby wants it so much."

He knew you were using the baby card just to get your way, but you looked so adorable doing it that it often worked—evident from how he lined up once more for the long queue at the claw machine.

"This is the last time," he decided, giving you a flat stare when you two reached your turn. "If we lose, we're buying the one in the souvenir shop."

"Teehee~" you giggled in delight. You'd get your plushie either way. Zayne was always listening to you even with his grumbles, and it made you inwardly kick your feet in joy.

Despite being cross, Zayne was better at this than you. He almost snagged some plushies several times, and this time, he skillfully maneuvered the claw, pressing the button with precision—

“Oh!” Your eyes sparkled as the claw secured your prized Happy Snowman. “Zayne! Just a little more!”

"Yeah, yeah..."

Just like that, the claw released the snowman into the hole. As soon Zayne handed it to you, you practically squealed. "Ahh! Finally I got you!"

You were so full of childlike excitement, even though you were just months away from bringing a child into the world yourself. Zayne watched you silently, and despite himself, a soft smile tugged at his lips.

"Do you want more?" he asked. "We still have three chances left."

"Yes!" You beamed at him. "I want the penguin and crow!"

Apparently, he was weak to your wishes. He then took the machine again, and maybe luck blessed him this time because soon enough, he got you two of them right after the chances ran out.

“Hehe! We’re bringing them home!” You patted each plushie with delight, your giggles drawing the attention of nearby kids.

"Mom, look! That uncle gets many plushies!"

Zayne felt his eyes twitch. Uncle...?

You tried and utterly failed to hold back your laugh.

And you heard another couple bickering nearby as they threw glances at you and your husband—

"I want that crow plushie..." the woman lamented, despondently eyeing the claw machine and the three plushies Zayne had managed to win for you.

Her boyfriend, a scary-looking tall man with red eyes and rider garbs, turned to her with a snort. "Why would you even need that ugly crow for? We have crow at home."

"...Mephisto doesn't count! You're just saying that because your luck and skill are trash!"

"Tch. I can open a whole arcade just so you can tear those plushies into shreds, sweetie... just so you know, there’s a price when dealing with a devil, hmm?"

Opening an arcade only to satisfy his girlfriend's wants? You thought in a passing. Crazy.

. . .

And then your emotions are practically a whirlwind of roller coaster...

“You’re mean!” you sniffled, pointing a righteous finger at your husband and the kitty cards on the table. “You always reduce my kitties whenever you get the chance!”

Zayne exhaled, trying to explain himself. “I just make do with the cards I’m dealt with.”

“But you’re trying to take out my cats all the time!”

“That’s the gameplay. If I let you win, you’d say I’m underestimating you.”

“So, are you saying I’m bad at this?” You looked at the cards with heartbreak etched on your face, your lips quivering. “Am I?”

Uh-oh, he knew what it was. You were a stone throw away from bursting into tears and one wrong word could set you off altogether.

“No, you’re not bad...” he began, carefully choosing his words. “The kitties... they’re just not cooperating with you, that’s all.”

“So, they’re cooperating with you,” you pouted, cross. “Is that what you’re trying to say?!”

Sigh... this is going to take a while...

But ultimately... you’re also incredibly precious.

“I’m going to make an amigurumi for our baby,” you announced, smiling brightly as you settled between his legs with a crochet kit and a snowman pattern in hand. “I just know they’ll like it.”

“You know how to crochet?” Zayne asked, resting his chin on your shoulder and slipping an arm around your waist, gently touching your growing bump.

“Hmph!” You tilted your chin up with a smirk, turning to face him. “Of course, I can!”

“Oh…?”

“It’s a little side hobby,” you explained with a giggle. “I can’t resist having and making cute things~”

Zayne thought he’d laugh, but instead, it was a wave of bittersweetness that washed over him. Because apparently, even after being married to you for two years, there were some things about you he didn’t know.

He was fond of you. He knew you liked a fair amount of sweets, what your favorite food and color were, and that you couldn't sleep without turning off the lights. But then he realized...

"Does it have to be a snowman?" he asked, his eyes fixed on how skillfully you handled the hooks.

"Mm-hmm! It does."

"Why do you like it so much anyway?"

"Ah..." Your movements paused slightly, and you suddenly looked down, a hint of sheepishness in your expression. "Well..."

This way, you looked adorable somehow. Zayne squeezed you gently. "Hmm?"

"You might not remember it... but the first time we met..." you felt heat creeping up to your face but pressed on nonetheless. "I asked you to demonstrate your Evol and you showed me by creating a snowman out of thin air."

Right at that moment, Zayne could've sworn that his heart skipped a beat. That meeting... how many years ago was it? Five? Six?

He could barely remember it until you mentioned it, and yet you held that memory dear.

"Maybe it sounds stupid to you," you puffed out your cheeks. "But I think you’re similar to a snowman. You look cold on the outside, but you bring happiness to so many people. You save lives…"

The way you described him so highly made him flutter inside. Suddenly he felt soft. Soft for you. You were utterly precious, genuine and all this time, he hadn't even truly realized it.

"And to me, you..." you gulped, suddenly self-conscious. "You are... warm, just like the sun..."

The sincerity in your words touched him so deeply that it left him speechless. You had loved him and it was evident in all your actions.

Now the question is, has he done the same for you?

You brightened his life just by being yourself. Most of the time cheery, sometimes snarky, and often times decidedly spoiled... all those sides of you—

He adores them all. And he knows he'll treasure you until the end of time. And now, he's going to show you that.

Before he realized it, he had planted a kiss on the nape of your neck, and you sucked in a breath as you dropped the crochet hooks. "Zayne...?"

And then his lips pressed harder, trailing kisses along your neck, while his hands slipped inside your pajama top, caressing your skin ever so gently. The unexpected touch made you unwittingly moan.

"Can you... finish crocheting another day?" he breathed in your ear, cupping your breasts tenderly, and you almost jolted. "I'll be gentle, I promise."

It felt as if your face had caught fire, your whole body flushing with sudden excitement. Your heart raced wildly at his husky voice, and the very thought that your husband desired you was deeply thrilling.

"But you..." your voice hitched, trying not focus on his fingers. "...are never gentle."

Zayne blinked at you in surprise. "Am... I? That's not true."

"Should I jog your memory?" You pursed your lips. "One time, you threw me on the bed—"

"Well—"

"And that time you had me on all fours—"

"That's—"

"And the night we conceived this baby too—"

"Right. Alright." Zayne’s cheeks flushed with warmth as he released his grip on your mounds. "You might have a point, but this time, I assure you…"

He turned you to face him, and before you could even react, he leaned in close, his breath tickling your collarbone as he whispered:

"I will take good care of you tonight."

He made good on his promise.

This time, his hands moved with a gentleness that took your breath away. Zayne started with peppering your skin in soft, lingering kisses—starting at your jaw, then trailing down your neck, collarbone, and chest.

And when his lips finally reached the slightly visible but firm swell of your belly, he paused, pressing a kiss there that seemed to hold all the love he had for your baby.

The sight pulled at your heartstrings. The very fact that Zayne cherished this little life growing inside you filled you with a happiness so profound, it nearly overwhelmed you.

And soon...

"Ahh... aah!" you writhed, arching your back, your lower body laid bare as his tongue lapped eagerly at your folds. It was, by far, the most erotic thing your husband had done to you— he usually didn’t spend this much time for your pleasure.

But as always, he was not much of a talker during sex. Only dangerous gleam in his eyes as he glanced up from between your trembling thighs that let you know he had no plans of stopping anytime soon.

"Ngh!" You gasped when the tight ball of nerves inside you finally burst, mewling helplessly as you yanked on his hair, and he ate you out even more greedily in response. You had always known it, but moments like this made it undeniable—

Zayne turns completely into a different man while bedding you. Who would have guessed that the stoic, straight-laced head of cardiac surgery could be reduced to a man consumed by lust at the sight of his wife's body?

. . .

He had always liked having you on top. This time, Zayne made sure to prepare you exceptionally well before easing himself inside you, yet, just like every other time, you still felt impossibly tight around him.

“Ah, ah... I-I’m—!” you whimpered tearfully, your walls clenching around his girth, face overtaken by sheer pleasure. “’s full...”

It didn't take him long to bust, really. With a beautiful wife sitting on top of him, eliciting sounds like that... how could he resist?

But maybe he pushed you too hard. Lust won against all his senses as he relentlessly slammed his hips against yours, and he distinctly felt the moment you stifled a scream and came hard around him.

"Are you... alright?" Zayne asked in a groan as he reached his orgasm, his release flooding inside your womb in a rush as you clung into him tightly, shuddering and spasming.

You nodded and collapsed against him, savoring the feeling of how filled up you were. In return, he cradled you close as he slowly pulled out of you. "I-I... am..."

You curled into him, and he pressed a tender kiss on your head. In that moment, you truly felt that there were only two of you in this vast world.

Gently, he lifted you—one arm supporting your legs, the other around your back—and carried you to the bathroom to clean you up.

. . .

“Drink.” Zayne held the cool glass of water to your lips, and you obediently took a sip, your gaze lingering on the gap in his bathrobe where his chest peeked out.

He was so, so considerate. He carefully handled you as he washed your body and wrapped you in the bathrobe earlier, soothing you each time you let out a whine.

It was the most comforting aftercare you had experienced. After making sure you weren’t parched, he tucked you under the comforters, joining you soon after and pulling you close.

“Are you comfortable now?” he asked quietly, straightening your hair.

“Mm-hmm.” You snuggled closer with a smile, tracing a finger along his chest.

Somehow the way he cared for you now made you remember how your relationship was back then. He didn’t dote on you this much, he was good to you but you knew deep in your hearts that he wasn’t really there. But now…

He is yours. In every sense.

“You’re tickling me,” Zayne tutted gruffly, catching your hand and pressing it to his chest.

“So? What will you do?” you teased with a playful grin. “Will you eat me up again?”

“…” His narrowed eyes made you giggle, and you pressed yourself even closer, relishing the afterglow.

You had promised yourself not to bring it up again, but feeling vulnerable in this moment, you couldn’t help but whisper:

“You… have changed,” you muttered under your breath. “Thank you… for thinking of me.”

You couldn’t see his expression, but his arms tightened around you suddenly. Warmth spread through you, feeling as though he were shielding you from the world itself.

Weeks passed by, and soon enough, you reached the middle of your second trimester.

“We’re going to find out the gender today!” you excitedly noted in the passenger’s seat. Zayne glanced at you with a smile, silently looking forward to it too.

He was relieved that your first trimester had passed smoothly, with only a few bouts of sickness. Now, before he knew it, you were already halfway through the journey.

“If it’s a girl, I hope she won’t be a troublemaker like her mom,” he slyly retorted.

You shot him a glare. “And if it’s a boy, I’ll make sure he doesn’t spend all his time studying and turn into a robot like you.”

The journey to fatherhood still didn’t feel entirely real to him with your chirpy self, but as your belly swelled and rounded with each passing week, he began to realize that the day was quickly approaching.

It made him feel warm, and he wished he could show it to you better just how much happiness you brought to him now.

You rummaged through your bag and exclaimed, "Oh, I forgot the appointment card!"

Zayne sighed, turning the steering wheel with a small shake of his head. "See? The little mom can be so scatterbrained at times."

You slouched in your seat, crestfallen. "Sorry..."

"It’s alright," he gave your hand a gentle squeeze as he noticed your expression drop. "I’ll get it. Where did you leave it?"

"In the first drawer of my vanity desk, I think…"

After arriving back at home, Zayne headed straight to your shared bedroom and searched through your drawers. The first drawer only had your perfumes, so he moved on to the second drawer, which apparently only had more makeup supplies.

And so, he pulled the third drawer, and there were a stack of envelopes there. Curious, he pulled one out, thinking it was the card he was looking for—

—but then, suddenly, he was in a state of shock. Never would have he expected to find what he had on his hand then.

For a moment, everything around him seemed to blur, his entire world reduced to those three stark words on the page. His mind struggled to process what he was seeing, a heavy weight settling in his stomach as the realization hit him.

Petition of Divorce — and your signature... was there.

Something seemed a bit off about Zayne, you noticed later that day.

You were really looking forward to finding out the baby's gender, and you thought he was too. He stood by your side all the while, holding your hand as the ultrasound probe pressed against your skin and you waited with bated breath for Dr. Munson to announce—

“Well, it’s a girl!” he declared with a wide grin. “Whoa, Dr. Zayne is going to be a girl dad, huh?”

“Oh my…” Your eyes sparkled with joy at the news. You were fine with either, but you knew Zayne had secretly been hoping for a girl, and you turned to him with pure elation. However...

“That’s… good.” His response was brief, and although he was smiling, something felt off. You had been observing him for too long not to notice—you knew when your husband was distracted.

What is he thinking? Despite yourself, you began to worry.

“Zayne?” you asked later, holding his arm as you both exited Dr. Munson’s office. “Are you thinking about work?”

He turned to you almost immediately. “No.”

“Then why are you frowning?” you asked innocently, trying to lighten the mood by touching his face. He swiftly caught your hand.

“This is a public place,” he said in a strained voice, causing you to stiffen at his tone. “I’ll take you home first.”

Something was not right. Now you were convinced and it started to bother you.

“Actually… I need to go to the Hunter Association's base first to finish my deskwork,” you said.

His brows furrowed even deeper. “Can’t you just submit your leave?”

“Ah... I’m on half-day leave today. I need to wrap up as much as I can before I go on maternity leave later.”

“Next time,” he snapped, his gray eyes locked on you, “Whenever you have appointments, take a full-day leave. You’re in no condition to be working, especially as you get further along.”

"Zayne, are you... upset with me?" you fired the question then, because it seemed like he really did, and suddenly you felt a bit sick at the very thought.

He was certainly not expecting you to ask that, and for a moment, Zayne froze, before he exhaled and his frown softened a bit.

“…no,” he finally said, his tone gentler. “I just don’t want you to push yourself too hard.”

But ever since that day, you knew something had happened to him that he suddenly he became a little distant towards you.

. . .

Zayne hadn’t meant to snap at you. If anything, knowing you were carrying a baby girl filled him with unbridled happiness.

But still, there was still a part of him that wanted to demand answers from you—that part of him that was deeply hurt by what he discovered.

In hindsight, maybe he shouldn’t take it too hard. No matter how much he reflected on it, he knew he hadn’t been the husband you deserved. He knew his faults and understood how much he had hurt you. From the very beginning, you deserved someone who would see only you and no one else—and he hadn't been that person before.

Even with that understanding, he was left with an unresolved hollowness. You had doubted him enough that you were ready to file for a divorce once. It didn't mean that the same thing wouldn't happen in the future.

Does he have it in him to make you happy? He had promised you he would. While he wasn't the most affectionate, he tried his best, and he intended to keep trying.

But now, after learning this, he found that not only you, but even he too was able to doubt himself.

"Zayne...?"

You peeked your head inside his study one night, several weeks later, a hand resting on your bump. You really didn't want to bother him when he just arrived, but you figured you had to tell him.

For the past week, you’d been throwing up, and it didn’t feel right. He had been at a symposium in another city since the start of the week, and you tried to wait it out. But today, you almost blacked out, and now you were genuinely afraid.

"Y/N?" he turned to you just as he laid his briefcase and the moment he saw you, he frowned at how pale you looked.

Zayne immediately stalked towards you and pulled you closer, feeling your neck to check your body temperature. His eyes widened in realization. "You have a fever."

"I-I... feel lightheaded today," you sputtered, clutching his arm. "And... I’ve been vomiting too..."

"I'll get you checked in at Akso," he decided, grabbing the car keys and led you out of the room by the shoulder. "Why didn't you tell me in your calls?"

Very lame excuse, but you tried to defend yourself nonetheless. "It wasn't this severe before—"

"You should have told me." His response was curt, but his fury was evident. You almost shrank at his tone, but Zayne didn't reprimand you further as he helped you into the passenger seat.

The drive was tense and uncomfortable, making you feel even worse. The silence only amplified your anxiety, and it didn't help that you had noticed how distant he was lately.

"I'm sorry—" you blurted but then suddenly, you sucked in a breath, wincing and fisting your dress when you felt the start of a cramp just below your ribs. "Ahh..."

Zayne’s panic surged at your pained gasp. He gripped your hand reassuringly, all trace of anger vanishing instantly. "We’ll arrive soon. I promise you’ll be alright."

At that moment, despite all fears you had—for your baby, of his sudden shift of behavior—you held back your sob and squeezed his hand in return.

. . .

You would be staying at the hospital until all the test results came in.

Zayne sat on the chair beside you, gaze fixed on you as you lay connected to an IV drip in the private room. Though he tried to mask it, he was still shaken. He knew better than anyone that fever and cramps at more than 20 weeks often signaled something was wrong with either the mother or the baby.

The thought of ailments beyond his control affecting either of you made his chest tighten. He loosened his tie and let out a sigh, trying to ease the constriction. "How do you feel now?"

You looked at him, managing a smile as you replied, "I’m fine now."

Seeing you bedridden like this was something he hadn’t realized he dreaded until that moment, and yet, there you were, smiling. You... smiled.

He couldn’t understand why the sight he usually adored suddenly stirred this swirling anger in him.

Your answer seemed to hit a nerve in him as his expression darkened, and anxiety struck you again, twisting something in your gut. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you before..."

His lack of response only deepened your unease. "Before today, I didn’t feel faint at all, so I think it’s just something I ate."

He still didn't deign you with any answer. Zayne’s apparent disregard for your words frustrated you, bringing you close to tears. "Say something..." you urged, feeling the tears burn behind your eyes. "I know you're upset, but now I'm scared too."

You really wanted him to comfort you. You knew the Zayne from several weeks ago would do just that, but now you had a feeling that the man before you now wasn't that same man any longer.

"We’ll see when the results are ready," he said then, facing you with a stoic, matter-of-fact tone, as if he were delivering a diagnosis to a patient rather than speaking to his wife. "Don’t fret too much. Have some rest."

Is that... all he has to say to you? A part of your heart withered at his detached response, the tears frozen in your eyes. What happened to him?

You were about to confront him for an answer when his phone suddenly vibrated in his pocket. He pulled it out and answered.

"Hello? Yes, it's Zayne. Who is this?" he questioned flatly, eyes narrowed into a dissatisfied frown, before suddenly his expression lit up with understanding when the person on the other line introduced themselves.

You could hear the faint sound of a man's voice from his phone. And when Zayne addressed him, a sudden chill spread throughout your body.

"Caleb? It's... been a while."

You felt cold. Caleb. You never really knew him but you had certainly seen him. Once at a funeral, and once at your wedding. He too is Zayne's childhood friend, and more than that, he is the brother of—

Why? Why did all emotional suffering you had to go through, somehow or another, always come down to a dead woman who was once your husband's lover?

When he ended this call, you didn't even pretend to be considerate anymore. "What does he want from you?"

Zayne looked taken aback by your sudden hostility but answered calmly, "He’s in Linkon now and asked if we could meet."

"Must you really see him?"

"What are you getting at?"

"I don’t like it," you spat, venom clear in your voice, turning to him. "I don’t like it at all when you have to be involved with people related to her!"

Finally, you said it. You had never made it clear before, but this time, you felt like you were entitled enough to. You were having his daughter, and if he was still entangled in an illusion of his past girlfriend with you, then—

Zayne responded to your outburst with a suppressed sigh, visibly keeping his frustration in check. "He is an old friend, Y/N. You're too emotional right now that you jump into conclusions and stress yourself out."

He was right, your emotions were spiraling, but right now you were too heartbroken to care for it.

"Do you know what I fear the most?" you asked, tears shining in your eyes. At last, you voiced the dark, unspoken curse that had haunted you since the very beginning of it all:

"I’m afraid that one day, you’ll wake up and realize that either me or our baby is a mistake."

Zayne barely got any rest that night.

In the end, faced with your tears, he didn't respond because he didn't want to prolong the argument. More strain for you could put both you and the baby at risk.

Later, he told himself. No matter how much he berated himself for not noticing the signs of your illness sooner, or wanted show you that you and his unborn child meant everything to him now— later. He wouldn't risk you, and it would be better if you talk later with cooler heads.

Little did he know, that "later" would never come.

Numerous missed phone calls from the nurses station after he stepped out of the operating room sealed your fate. And when Greyson burst into his office, out of breath and panic-stricken, it was like being doused in scalding water.

"Dr. Zayne! Miss Y/N! Sh-she has just been rushed to ER for severe bleeding!"

Just like that, his world crashed and shattered beyond return.

. . .

"Dr. Zayne, I'm not sure how I should break this news to you... As a medical professional, you already know how serious this condition is..."

Everything was his greatest nightmare realized. Dr. Munson’s diagnosis struck him with a searing force, paralyzing him on the spot.

"Your wife has preeclampsia."

The nurses said you had been screaming and bleeding heavily. He too had seen it himself—the blood splattered across the pristine floor when he arrived, just moments after you were rushed to the emergency room—and the sight made a chill run through his spine in horror.

"She just experienced a partial placental abruption because of it. This causes bleeding in the mother, and also increases the risk of premature labor."

Dr. Munson’s explanation was crystal clear, yet it sent Zayne into a daze. It felt as if his chest had been ripped open, leaving him hollow as he stared numbly at your figure, peacefully asleep after the emergency treatment you had been put through.

Zayne clasped your hand in his, feeling the invincible knife lodged in his heart twist painfully.

You aren't supposed to be this cold. He gently griped your hand, his face contorted with agony. How terrified must you have been? How much did it hurt? Despite trying to push the memories away, seeing you like this brought back the nightmare from three years ago.

Only that this time, it was you. And not just you, but his unborn child as well. Both of you... there was a chance that both of you wouldn't survive.

The sheer thought made him stagger, because no, if it was the devil’s way to punish him, then it was beyond cruel. He had failed you once already, and he knew what happiness was by being with you, and to lose all of that in one blow—

"Zayne! Can you make me one more snowman?" you pleaded, your eyes sparkling as you pointed to the little gap between snowmen already perched on the window. "Just one more! It’ll make the line perfect!"

"I’m afraid that one day, you’ll wake up and realize that either me or our baby is a mistake."

It was so, so painful. His chest constricted at the contrasting memories and it took everything he had not to give in to his spiraling fears.

With everything I have, I love you. None of it mattered anymore. The divorce papers, whether he could make you happy— what was important was that It was unthinkable to lose you now. He would trade his life if it meant sparing you, because the pain of losing you would destroy him.

You had always loved that little thing he made on a whim. He opened your palm and shaped the ice through his manipulation, placing the palm-sized snowman in your grasp, hoping it would protect you throughout the night.

You remembered the excruciating pain, the primal dread of losing your baby, and the horrifying sight of crimson streaming endlessly between your legs, also how you screamed for anyone for help.

When you regained consciousness, the scent of fresh linen and alcohol was the first thing that greeted you. Dawn had already arrived, but the sky outside remained dark.

Your right palm felt cold, and that’s when you realized you were holding something. At the same time, you noticed the weight in your other hand—

Zayne. Your husband slept on the edge of your bed in such an uncomfortable position while holding your hand, his brows taut into a frown, only with a coat to cover himself.

He is here. You quietly watched him, and despite everything, you realized once again how much you loved him—even more that he was here for you.

Snowman… you stared at the little toy in your other hand, and overwhelming warmth washed over you at the thought of him creating it for you just before he slept.

The baby… what did you go through? Is she fine? You really couldn’t shake the feeling that something grave had happened to you.

You had to know. You pulled your left hand out of his grasp and caressed his face. He has to shave soon, you noted, feeling the stubble that had started to grow there. Still, you couldn't help but marvel at how handsome he was.

Your gentle touch soon caused his eyes to flutter open, and Zayne jerked awake, instinctively catching your hand. "You're awake..." he rasped, his voice rough with exhaustion.

He looked at you as if he was in disbelief, and immediately rose and squeezed your hand. You looked up to him, feebly asking, "What... happened to me?"

His face fell right that moment but you pressed on, "Tell me. I have to know..."

Zayne's reluctance was obvious, but the plea in your voice made him waver. Finally, he sighed and sat down on the edge of your bed.

"The test results have come back," he began, his voice adopting the clinical tone you recognized from when he spoke to his patients. "Your blood pressure is abnormally high, and there was protein found in your urine sample... These are signs of a condition called preeclampsia."

Shock marred your features in that moment, because you had heard what it was and what it meant for your baby.

"The only cure for preeclampsia is delivery. And at the same time the placenta has detached from the wall of your womb. This way, our baby—"

You had watched Zayne deliver devastating diagnoses to his patients before, and he was always steadfast. But this time, even his voice wavered.

His gray eyes seemed to glisten under the light as they held your gaze. "She's being deprived of oxygen and nutrients because the placenta can no longer supply them. You may also experience heavier bleeding, more cramps, and fetal distress. The best course of action now is to deliver the baby as soon as possible."

It felt like receiving death sentence. No matter how you looked at it, the conclusion was the same. "B-but..." you stammered, your whole body trembling, shaken by the enormity of it all. "S-she's just... barely twenty-six weeks..."

The way devastation bled in your voice pierced him. Without a word, Zayne pulled you into his arms, letting out a long, drawn-out breath as he held you close.

"I'm here," he assured, trying to console you. "You don't have to be scared. We'll monitor you closely until it's possible for you to give birth to the baby in around thirty weeks. I'll make sure of that."

The first of your sobs began. "...i-is it me?" you clutched at his coat mournfully. "Did I… p-put the baby into distress somehow— that it causes the placenta to fall away?"

"No," he firmly shushed you. "It's a condition that can flare up anytime. Don't blame yourself for it."

Still, how could you not? More than yourself, you feared for your unborn child. You sobbed harder, and Zayne held you even as his coat had started to dampen from your tears.

Your predicament broke his heart too, but at the same time, he found the perfect moment to finally show you the entirety of his heart.

"You told me you were afraid I'd come to see both of you as a mistake," he murmured, gently running his hand through your hair in an attempt to soothe you. "But how can our daughter be a mistake when—" his voice caught, choking on the words, "—when I've loved her so much already?"

The strain in his voice made you look up, and you were taken aback by the intensity of his gray eyes that bored into you.

“Both of you... are so precious to me.” Zayne locked his eyes with yours, sincerely meaning everything he said as he cradled the side of your face. “The thought that anything might happen to either of you... is unbearable.”

He pressed his forehead against yours, his voice hoarse, “What if… you continue to bleed and it leads to seizures? What if— you and the baby won’t make it? These are so unbearable for me.”

His words went straight into you, and for a moment, your tears receded as they sank in.

"I can’t give you my past." His voice tinged with melancholy, the expression on his face was torn. "But I promise you, at least in this lifetime..."

He gazed at you with the unwavering look you had fallen in love with, the same gaze you once admired from afar, long ago.

And then, his next declaration took your breath away and made your heart soar like never before. A wave of love surged within you, almost overwhelming you—

"Right this moment and my future—it's for you. For both of you, always."

From that moment on, you knew you would trust him completely. From that moment on, you finally let go of your doubts, knowing that you had nothing to fear with him by your side.

Zayne was by your side whenever he was able to.

You were on bedrest at the hospital ever since, but he always stayed the night here to accompany you, barely going back to home for a change of clothes.

"You’re really making a snowman..." he remarked, observing your fingers and the crochet hooks he’d brought from home so you could keep yourself entertained. "I think you need to add a bit more fluff there..."

Your face brightened with a grin as you cut the yarn. "Don’t worry, I’ll make it extra round."

The weeks in the hospital dragged on, but they also gave you more time to work on your amigurumi. When you finished putting the final touches on it, you proudly presented it to Zayne—the snowman with a blue shawl and black hat, two little round eyes, and a beaming line of smile. "Ta-da! Look, it’s even cuter than the ones you made!"

A happy you was always the sight he loved to see above all. "Yeah..."

"Do you think she'll love it?" you suddenly asked, poking the snowman doll you just made, feeling warm at the thought that your cherished baby will soon play with it too.

You looked so endearing that Zayne felt an overwhelming urge to pull you closer. “She will,” he chuckled, giving you a reassuring pat on the head. “Didn’t you say before she will?”

And soon, you reached the thirtieth-week mark. The time had come to finally deliver your baby.

. . .

"I can't feel anything..." Your voice came out as a soft whine while you lay on the operating table, your lower body numb and obscured by the surgical curtain shielding you from view.

Zayne, standing beside you in a mask and headcap, grasped your hand, his fingers intertwined with yours. "If you could feel it, you’d be screaming."

The C-section was the only way to ensure both you and your daughter would survive. It felt surreal to know they were basically cutting you open, yet you were unable to feel anything.

"Will... she come out healthy?" you asked your husband hesitantly, worried about your soon-to-be born baby. "I'm worried..."

Zayne glanced at you and gave your hand a light squeeze. "Don’t worry too much. You should be more concerned about yourself. Think of all the food you want to have when you get home, and I’ll get it for you."

You shot him a glare. "You make me sound like a foodie."

"You are a foodie."

Despite the ongoing surgery, Zayne’s lighthearted jabs were his way of easing your anxiety. Even though they irked you, you appreciated his attempts to lift your spirits.

And soon—

You heard a feeble cry, though quickly drowned out by the cheers of the surgical team beyond the curtain. You gasped and turned to Zayne, who was fixated on the tiny baby in Dr. Munson's hands.

He didn't even blink. It was almost as if he was spellbound by the sight. Nothing mattered because his daughter was here. Really here.

"Zayne…" your voice then broke the spell. He turned to you, who weakly smiled at him with tears in your eyes.

For the first time in your life, you saw tears of happiness glistening in his eyes as he stared at you— the woman who had just given him a daughter to love and dote on.

He immediately leaned in to press a kiss on your forehead. Your heart felt so full, even though he wasn’t able to fully express it in words. In that moment, you could feel his profound love for you and the new life you would embark on together.

"She is so small..."

You pressed yourself as close as you could to the see-through glass of the neonatal unit, straining to get a glimpse of your baby daughter. Though you weren't well enough to walk three days after the surgery, you insisted on Zayne wheeling you over in a wheelchair just so you could have a peek.

"She’ll grow big soon," Zayne said, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder when he noticed your sadness. "She’ll stay there for a few more weeks, and then we can bring her home."

However, your expression twisted into a worried frown as you watched the gentle rise and fall of your baby’s tiny chest inside the incubator. Even when he had reassured you that it was by all means just an unfortunate condition, you couldn't help feeling that it was your fault somehow that she ended up there.

She had his tufts of black hair, but you weren’t able to get close enough to remember her face clearly. The fact that you hadn’t held her in your arms yet made your heart ache.

"Mommy is sorry that she can't carry you to full-term..." you croaked out, lips wobbling, a hand tracing the glass separating you from your new baby, and Zayne inhaled sharply at the sight.

It hadn’t been easy, but you had made it through. Both of you had. And to him, that was more than enough. So, you needed to hear it too.

He crouched down in front of you, catching your attention instantly. You tilted your head as his hands rested gently on your shoulders.

“Thank you for delivering our daughter safely,” he said with the softest of smiles, ever so genuine just as you were in all times of the two of you together.

Your eyes widened a bit at his sudden gratitude, and when he took both of your hands together in his, gazed at you with such earnestness in his clear ash-grey eyes, and traced his thumbs over your knuckles, your heart skipped a beat.

“And most of all, thank you... for being safe too.”

Those words brought immense warmth to you, and the prettiest of smile lit up your face then at the way he looked at you as if you were his most prized treasure. Just like that, once again, he cast all your fears and doubts aside.

And deep down, you knew that with him by your side, everything was going to be alright.

taglist

@sillyfreakfanparty @rjreins @enterrandomusername @castellandiangelo @admirablefangirl @luna4mnoon @prettytemis @onliafaze @aviesnapkindoodles @jinniebby2 @mnemeosyne @elliesndg @haichii @pearlymel @kissingtruth @mccutelittlesheep @certainduckanchor @itsbabyabby @thdcre @aerithsthingss

[yourmidnightlover]

the sun

pairing: bucky barnes x fem!reader

summary: after the events of the snap, you find out news that's both heart wrenching and warming. what happens five years later when bucky's back?

warnings: death, mourning, pregnancy, childbirth, canon-typical violence (not much but just adding to cover all the bases), loosely based on end game and infinity war (as in ignore my mistakes lmaooo), if i failed to mention any warnings PLEASE LET ME KNOW!

wc: 2.6k

a/n: dude idk why i've had an urge to write such heart wrenching angst lately. i'm actually in a decent place rn. i tried to cut this fic down bc originally it was SOOOO long i felt like a lot of it was just filler and i feel like shorter fics of mine tend to do better... ANYWHO! this does have a happy/hopeful ending so no worries! also picturing this beefcake for this story is AGHHHHHHH!

you never thought two lines on a stick could ever break your heart the way they did.

tears clouded your vision as you gripped the counter, trying not to crumble or succumb to your grief.

6 weeks ago, the avengers lost. everything.

half of the world, gone in a moment.

in one moment, your world collapsed. seeing bucky fade to dust right in front of you...

sobs wracked through your body as you crumbled to the ground.

this was supposed to be a happy moment. there should be tears of joy, not sobs of sorrow. your heart should feel full of love, not like there's a super-soldier sized hole in it.

"y/n," nat's voice rang outside the door, giving you a moment to yourself.

"just-," you tried to level your breathing before she opened the door, knowing but not understanding the grief you were feeling.

she wrapped her arms around your body, tucking your head into her neck as she gently rubbed your back soothingly. steve leaned against the bathroom door, glancing on the counter to see what they had all expected.

a positive pregnancy test.

you were having bucky's baby.

without bucky.

you gripped his dog tags that you had been wearing since the funeral. they were the only thing that could truly ground you.

they brought back happy memories of cuddling in bed, the cool metal shocking your skin for only a moment before realizing that it was only bucky and smiling at the memory.

god, it hadn't even been two months.

how were you supposed to do this alone?

"we're here for you," steve's voice called from the doorway, as if he could hear your thoughts. "you'll never be alone. not in this... not ever." he shook his head, his brows furrowed in a serious, straight line.

eventually, your sobs subsided. you stood with nat from your seat on the ground, wiping your own eyes mustering up a pathetic smile before she left you and steve to work out your grief together.

"we didn't even know it was possible," you shrugged. "it's like he sent me them..." you placed your hand on an invisible bump before facing steve, his teary eyes reminding you that he had lost his best friend, too. "he sent us this baby."

you reached your hand out for steve to hold. he took it gratefully and pulled you into his arms, hugging you tight and letting only a few tears slip his waterline before pulling back.

"if you'll let me, i want to be there for you for everything," his chin wobbled. "buck would kick my ass if i let you go through this alone." a genuine laugh left your lips for the first time in nearly two months.

"i would be so grateful for that," you nodded as you let go of his arms. "part of me still can't believe that it's real. it's like part of me still expects him to walk into the compound from a long mission or something..." you shook your head. "i know that sounds so stupid."

"it's not," he shook his head with a smile. "it's what i wish was true, maybe it's your subconscious trying to preserve your mind?"

"maybe," you shrugged before continuing, "i should probably talk to tony and bruce, huh?"

-

you knew you were around eight weeks along.

according to the doctors' tony had enlisted, however, you were already 12 weeks along, which was impossible.

bucky had been gone on a mission at that time... but it's whatever. you got to hear the heartbeat. steve went with you, too. you both bawled together. you kept three copies of the ultrasound and he kept two.

banner had already offered to do some testing on the dna of the baby, noting that the serum would likely affect the pregnancy (as it probably already has).

you had talked to tony about retiring from the whole superhero gig for the time being. you needed to mourn and prepare for a new life simultaneously. tony had promised to provide anything you needed at the drop of a hat, and he sure as hell delivered.

within no time, your pregnancy was being measured at 20 weeks while only being pregnant for 12. banner was concerned for your body's ability to keep up with the rapid rate of growth of the baby. he had you on a strict, hefty diet with two different prenatal vitamins in attempt to help your nutrition.

in spite of your best efforts, you were always exhausted and in pain. but you wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. this was bucky's baby. you didn't care how much pain you went through when you had half of him growing inside of you.

you couldn't walk for long without feeling like passing out, which banner chalked up to low iron. steve had grown progressively more worried for you and the baby the longer the pregnancy went on.

as a result, he had moved into the spare room that was in your and bucky's house. truly, it just made it easier for him to help you finish up the nursery anyway.

he was very handy about it all, painting, building furniture from scratch, the whole deal.

"i've been thinking... and if it's a girl, i want to name her evangeline james barnes," you informed steve as you ate the steak he had been making for the past few weeks of your pregnancy, as ordered by dr. banner. that with carrots, broccoli, potatoes, and for dessert strawberries, blueberries and raspberries over ice cream. "and if it's a boy, cyrus james barnes. evangeline means good news, and cyrus means sun."

steve placed his hand over yours, "i think buck would've loved them." he smiled warmly as you downed the food in a few minutes.

you had begun showing soon after you found out you were pregnant, but now, it felt like it was impossible to hide. nat had been wonderful about helping you keep up with the changes your body was going through, getting you new maternity clothes every week.

she even made sure to get you every single craving that wasn't in accordance to banner's hefty diet. not that he didn't want you to eat more, he thought it was best you did! but he also wanted to make sure that with all that you did eat, your body got as many nutrients as possible.

just to be safe, he kept you on other vitamin supplements anyway.

you couldn't help but imagine what bucky would say or do about everything now.

he would hold your body closely, pressing firm kisses to your bump every chance he could get while whispering some sickly sweet sayings to your unborn child, words that would melt the winter soldier's cold exterior.

he would whisper words of encouragement any moment you felt worried about your abilities to be a mom. he would say how beautiful you were, in spite of being bloated in places you didn't know could bloat.

he would be wonderful, and in your mind, he was still alive and vibrant. well, as vibrant as bucky ever was, at least.

truthfully, that's the only way you were able to keep going on like this. steve was wonderful, but you couldn't help but want the love of your life by your side as you tried to navigate this new chapter.

in a couple more weeks, you were projected to be at 32 weeks. bruce and tony were talking with your doctors about the safety of inducing so early, both for you and the baby.

oh, and you wanted the gender to be a surprise.

and within the week, you were having your baby.

steve and nat were by your side during the birth, whispering encouraging words and compliments of your strength.

"i need him!" you screamed in pain as you held one of each of their hands, sobbing in agony. "i need james! i need my bucky! i can't do this alone, i can't-i can't!"

"you can," nat reminded you. "this baby needs you," she held your face to look at hers. "bucky is a part of this baby." you swore you could see tears in her eyes before turning to face steve.

"remember what you told me when you found out you were pregnant?" he didn't bother wiping the tears from his face. "bucky sent you-sent us this baby. he knows you can do it." you sniffled before nodding at your two best friends, pushing with one last scream and a second later, you had...

"cyrus james barnes," the nurse called to you. "it's a boy, congratulations mom."

-

the next few years went by quicker than you could've ever imagined.

crawling, first words, first steps...

you missed bucky. not a day passed where you didn't miss him.

but, having cy helped a lot. he looked just like his father. dark brown hair, icy blue eyes, a cute little nose... not to mention his father's stubbornness.

you made sure he knew who his father was. you took him to the museum often, showing him the statue of his father and his background in the world war, him saving the world so much. you told him how you fell in love with him.

how you fell for the quiet man before ever really talking to him. how you were partners on a long-term, undercover mission and that's where your love ignited from the sparks.

not that cy understood any of what you told him. you just felt it was important to know that his parents loved him, and each other dearly.

you never took off his dog tags, either.

steve was a huge help the whole time. he kept working for the avengers, so he was gone often, but he provided a good male role model for cyrus. after all, he was his uncle steve. he already taught him how to throw a ball, albeit a little softball, but it counts!

you made sure to document everything that went on in yours and cyrus's life.

banner had said that cyrus was growing at an exceeding rate, but nothing to be concerned about. in fact, cyrus was turning five in almost half a year, meaning the anniversary of bucky's death, or disappearance or whatever you called it, was coming up.

then, you got a call from tony and banner.

it all happened so quickly, from testing to planning to the execution. pepper watched cyrus for you while you went back with steve, scott, and tony to get the tesseract.

of course, the men being men had to come upon a few hiccups, but eventually, after going as far back as the 70s, you brought back the tesseract.

the only thing is that nat never came back...

next thing you know, bruce is snapping his fingers and clint is getting a call from his supposedly deceased wife. your eyes fill with tears, hands searching in your pockets for your phone to see if you've gotten anything yet.

is it possible he wasn't brought back? he was the first to... disintegrate. die. maybe that meant something in the eyes of the stones?

then, you felt a buzz in your hand.

although, you didn't have any time to try to grasp what that meant, because more aliens came to earth.

shocker.

after yet another war, one that you weren't even prepared for, after losing more people, again. after losing tony...

but amidst the chaos of the aftermath of the fight, with screams of joy and shock and grief surrounding you, tears streaming down your face, your eyes met the blue ones you only saw in your son.

he slowly walked towards you as the tears sped up. you didn't even realize when your feet began running towards him.

when his arms wrapped around your waist, you finally felt the home you thought you had come to terms with never feeling again. your arms wrapped around his neck, your face buried in his shoulder as you breathed in the scent of gunmetal that had overtaken him in the battle.

"oh my god," you cried into the leather of his jacket. he lifted you off the ground, your legs wrapping around his waist as you felt his smile on your cheek. "i can't believe you're really here."

"i'm here, doll," his hands cradled your head so tenderly. "i'm not ever leaving again. never."

you pulled back before your eyes widened in realization. "you've gotta meet someone, jamie."

his brows furrowed in confusion, just smiling and nodding along with whatever you said.

within the next few hours, simply being held by bucky before steve stole him away with a hug, you finally brought him home.

"so, steve moved in," you started as you pulled your car into the driveway, turning to see bucky looking at you with an incredulous look. "you'll see why." you reached to hold his hand before he brought yours to his lips, pressing a kiss there.

you told him to wait in the car as you went inside to relieve the babysitter for cyrus. after giving him some cash, he went outside, knocking on your car window to let bucky know he should make his way inside.

upon entering, he saw you sitting on the floor with a little boy with striking blue eyes that seemed so familiar to him. his nose, too. his lips though, they were all yours. he had a slight grin plastered on his lips, one that matched yours to a t.

"daddy?" suddenly, it all clicked.

his heart, his mind, his fucking soul, everything made sense now. the pain, hydra, the mind washing, the torture.

meeting you. falling in love. dying?

his son.

he started walking closer to bucky before the steady walk turned into a run. bucky knelt down, wrapping the boy in his arms, cradling his tiny frame in his arms protectively. his son.

"cyrus james barnes," you said with a teary smile on your face. bucky, without breaking the hug with his son, looked up at you with a smile that matched yours. "cyrus means 'sun', and i thought it was fitting. he brought me so much light and hope after you..." you choked up before he stood up with cy in his arms, walking towards you before wrapping you in the big, family hug.

"i love you so much, both of you."

[writingduhh]

Hii, i was wondering if you were able to write something for hansumfella (tyler) ? I was thinking he talks about him having a girlfriend but no body believes him until he finally brings her into a stream and everyone is amazed because they thought he was joking !! but anything works haven’t rlly seen hansumfella content !! 😅😅

YES!!!!!! Hope this is alright! It’s my first hansumfella fic so I’m super new at this….

Hansumfella || Stream Surprise

You and Tyler had been openly dating for several months, thoroughly enjoying the simplicity and joy your relationship brought into your lives. However, as Tyler's online alter ego, HansumFella, began to skyrocket in popularity, it became clear that managing your private and public lives would need some recalibration. Out of mutual concern for privacy and the unpredictable nature of internet fame, you both agreed it would be best to keep your relationship out of the public eye for the time being.

During one of his lively Roblox streams—a session filled with laughter and playful banter—Tyler unexpectedly let a secret slip, a revelation that even surprised him.

“And yeah, for those wondering why I’ve been a bit off-schedule lately, I’ve been spending some time with my amazing girlfriend,” he mentioned casually, taking a sip of water as the chat erupted into a frenzy.

“You what now, Tyler?!” one viewer exclaimed, their message quickly engulfed by a wave of shocked and curious reactions.

“HE HAS A GF?!”

“NOOOO 😭”

“GIRLFRIEND REVEAL”

“I knew it Ong”

“Proof or it didn’t happen.”

Despite the disbelief, Tyler merely chuckled and steered the conversation back to his gaming strategy, his relaxed demeanor doing little to stop the onslaught of comments.

“Alright chat, calm down I didn’t even say anything! You’re just imagining it! You’re gaslighting yourself. Let’s focus back to absolutely destroying children in best dressed” He jests in his usual dry sense of humor.

In the weeks that followed, each stream dedicated a few minutes to viewers probing for more details about you. Tyler kept his answers vague, strategically revealing just enough to maintain interest without confirming anything definitive.

“What does she look like?”

“Favorite thing about her?”

“I still think he’s lying.”

“Well she looks absolutely gorgeous. Absolute smoke show.” He playfully remarks before continuing.

“Favorite thing about her? Oo that’s a hard one, there’s so much to love. I’ll say sense of humor.”

The curiosity and incessant questioning from his fanbase eventually led Tyler to plan a significant reveal. On a crisp summer evening, his usual streaming time, Tyler adjusted his webcam to capture more than just his usual gaming setup.

“Alright, everyone,” Tyler announced as he started his stream, “tonight is a special night. You've all been incredibly patient—or incredibly nosy,” he joked with a wink at the camera. “I think it's time you meet someone very special to me.”

He reached out and extended a hand off-camera. After a brief moment, another hand appeared, and you stepped into view, your smile bright yet slightly shy as you waved to the camera.

“Hello stream! Is that what I call them?” You ask, a little overwhelmed with the situation

“You can call them whatever you like, babe.” He chuckles, pulling you to sit down beside him.

The chat paused for a split second before erupting.

“OMHH SHES REAL?!”

“She’s so beautiful!!”

“HE WASN’T LYING 💀”

“Literally how did he land her?”

“She’s ours now”

Tyler’s grin widened as he read the comments aloud, his arm comfortably encircling you as you sat comfortably on his lap.

“Everyone, this is Y/N. She’s the reason I’ve been so distracted, so you can blame her for the lack of content.” He jests, earning a playful eye roll from you.

The stream proceeded exceptionally well. You were a natural, laughing and engaging with the chat as if you’d had been a part of the community for years. Tyler felt a mix of pride and relief; not only did his audience adore you, but him as well.

A few weeks after your debut on his stream, Tyler decided it was time to make your relationship Instagram official. He chose a candid photo of you two together, taken during a sunset hike. Both laughing, bathed in the golden hour light, capturing a beautiful moment.

Tyler uploaded the photo with the caption that simply read, “Mine ;)” and tagged you.

The post received thousands of likes and comments in no time. Fans and friends filled the comments section with hearts, congratulatory messages, and more than a few playful jabs at having doubted him in the first place.

Tyler leaned back, watching the notifications pop up one after another, you sitting beside him, head resting on his shoulder.

“Was it worth the wait?” Tyler asked, his voice a soft murmur.

“Definitely worth it,” you replied, squeezing his hand.

[hoedamn-eron]

baby, please - father's day

Santi celebrates his first Father's Day.

Warnings: Just SICKLY SWEET. Mentions of breastfeeding (but as I've always said, a fed baby is a happy baby, whether bottle or breast!). Small mention of body insecurity. Hints of a parent who has passed. Allusions to unsupportive parents (as mentioned in the original fic). Not even remotely proofread so there will be mistakes 😊😊 Word count: 2,800 F!Reader, no use of Y/N.

I know this is over a week late, I apologise. A part of my Baby, Please universe; this can be read as a stand alone but all the history is in the series.

“So, I’ll come over on Sunday with the girls?” you ask him down the phone.

Santi frowns in confusion at your words. “Did we make plans?”

You go quiet, and Santi momentarily wonders if he’d forgotten something important. Was he supposed to have the girls for the day? Had he just fucked up? It – obviously – wouldn’t be the first time he’d done that with you, and he’d truly tried his hardest to never wrong you again. He could have the girls, it wasn’t a problem, he didn’t have any plans anyways –

“It’s Father’s Day, Santi,” you tell him gently. “Your first one.”

Oh.

He hadn’t celebrated Father’s Day in years, not since before his own father had passed away. And he never thought he’d celebrate it for himself. And the girls were barely five months old, was it…really worth doing anything until they were older?

“We don’t have to do anything, I was just assuming…” you say, taking his silence as a bad thing.

“No, sorry,” Santi says immediately, trying to calm your anxieties. “You just took me by surprise. I didn’t realise that it was Father’s Day.”

You chuckle softly on the other end of the line. “Well…I was thinking we could go to the beach. It’ll be the girls’ first time, and I thought we could spend it together.”

Santi is quiet. Too quiet, and for too long, because your unsure voice comes through. “Santi?”

“Sorry, sorry.” He swallows, running a hand down his face. This was going to be his first Father's Day; a milestone he never imagined he'd ever experience in his life. The reality of it all was almost overwhelming. He couldn’t believe how much his life had changed in just over a year, meeting you and having kids; the joy and responsibility of being a father to these two beautiful girls was immense. Santi couldn't shake the feeling that he was living in a dream, and the weight of it pressed on him, a mixture of awe and gratitude so intense it nearly brought tears to his eyes. “The beach sounds great. Really. I would love that.”

“Okay,” you say, and you sound relieved. “I'll bring a picnic, and…and the girls can play in the sand, and the ocean. I bought them some cute shorts the other day, they could wear them. It'll be fun, I promise.”

Santi feels his heart skip a beat at the way you try and reassure him that it’ll be fun, like he wouldn’t want to spend the day with you and the girls. Of course he would, he would drop everything if it meant he could see you and the kids. He smiles despite himself. He can almost picture it now: the bright sun, the endless stretch of sand, the sound of the waves, and his girls' faces as they experience the ocean for the first time. It's a perfect plan. A perfect day.

“So…should I pick you up, 10am?” you ask, that nervousness still in your voice. Santi can just picture you now, biting your lip as you wait for his answer.

“Yeah, see you Sunday.”

“Okay,” you breathe, and he can hear the smile in your voice. “See you then.”

You both hang up after saying your goodbyes, and Santi stands there for a moment, staring at his phone, still processing everything. His first Father's Day.

A year ago, Santi would have laughed if he was told he would be spending the day at the beach with the woman he knocked up on a first date, and his twin daughters. Yet here he was, planning his first Father’s Day together, marvelling at how life had taken such an unexpected turn for him, after the shit show that was their last mission with Lorea, and losing Tom. Santi couldn't help but feel some anxiety, which left a heavy and sick feeling in his stomach, but also excitement for what Sunday would bring, a figurative step forward in yours and his ‘unconventional’ journey.

“Think this is a good spot?” you ask, but you dump your bags down anyway before he could answer.

Santi gave a small laugh as he watched you arrange your set up for Isabela and Jasmine; some inflatable supports so they could sit up, some toys from home that were beach friendly, and some towels to sit on with extras in your bag (just in case, you never know!), and an umbrella to give the girls shade. You had contemplated bringing some buckets and spades but decided that they were too young for that just yet.

You looked cute when you came to pick him up, in some shorts and a flowy shirt. You’d been having a few insecurities about your body as of late, as there was just a little but extra of you that wasn’t there before, and you were unsure of wearing something a little less exposed. Santi had told you that you grew and birthed two – two! – children, your body was bound to go through some changes. And you continued to nurture those two – two! – children with your body, so your body was amazing. It warmed your heart (and your cheeks) to hear that from him, and you said no more on the matter.

The sky was so blue it looked painted. The beach is perfect – not too crowded, with soft, warm sand and gentle waves. The girls are dressed in loose t-shirts and shorts, matching sun hats on their heads. You had already lathered them in sunscreen before leaving your house, but you were already preparing to add more on them as Santi popped them in their inflatable supports. Santi laughed as the girls kicked their legs in the sand, their eyes wide as they took in the feel of it on their legs and feet.

After placing more sunscreen on the girls, you sat back and relaxed, smiling at Santi. “This is nice.”

Santi nodded, looking around as he takes a seat with the twins, quickly stopping Isabela from eating a handful of sand. “I don’t remember the last time I went to the beach and just relaxed.”

You gave a breathy laugh. “As relaxed as you can be with two five-month-olds.”

Santi gives a shrug with a small laugh before he stops Isabela eating the sand again. He takes his shirt off, tossing it over with the rest of your stuff, and you try hard not to stare at him. He wasn’t as active as he used to be, but still kept in shape and had a nice little chub that suited him well.

After applying sunscreen to yourself (and making Santi put some on too, which he does – with an eye roll), you change the girls into some swim diapers and swim onesies. Santi carries them both to the ocean with you, one girl in each arm, and you take as many photos as you can before sending them to your friends and Santi’s. You beam so much your cheeks start to hurt (it puts the meltdown over your own father you had that morning to the back of your mind).

Santi steps into the ocean, just up to his knees. You take Jasmine from him, and the two of you crouch to give your girls their first experience of the sea. The first touch of the cool ocean on their feet makes them pause for a moment, and after a moment, Isabela starts crying. Jasmine looked over at the noise, almost startled, before she splashed a little in the water, giggling. Santi brought Isabela back out, soothing her a little until her tears subsided, before trying again. He laughed when she started screaming again, her legs lifting before hitting the water.

“Okay, okay, I get it,” said Santi, lifting her back up. “You don’t like it. I won’t do it again.”

“I’ll take her if you want,” you say, straightening up with Jasmine.

You swap babies, Isabela calming in your arms, unshed tears on her waterline as she watches Jasmine and Santi play in the ocean.

“See, it’s not so scary,” you coo to her, but she merely clings to you as she watches. You take some selfies before getting some photos of Santi and Jasmine. She kicks her legs, splashing water everywhere, and you and Santi both laugh, caught up in her pure, unfiltered joy.

For a moment, everything else fades away. It’s just you, Santi, and your daughters, the sun warming your skin and the waves gently lapping at your feet. Santi feels a swell of emotion, a deep, steadfast love for his new family that nearly overwhelms him.

“She loves it,” you say with a laugh, your voice filled with happiness as you lightly bounce Isabela and look at Jasmine. “Look at her!”

“I know,” Santi replies, his voice thick with the sudden emotions. “I know.”

You try again with Isabela, dipping her toes in the water. She seemed happier with that, and she kicked her legs a little before you submerge her feet in the water. Her matching giggles with Jasmine fill the space around you.

The day passes in a blur of laughter and play. You both take turns holding the girls as they splash in the water, then retreat back to your towels where you sit with your daughters. You nurse them for a moment and Santi offers to get some ice cream for you both from the hut down the beach. You nod, and the girls soon nod off in your arms. You lay them on the towels in the shade. They look like little angels, their sunhats crooked on their heads as they sleep.

Santi comes back, handing you an ice cream before he sits back down with you. You eat together silently, and Santi watches Isabela and Jasmine. His heart feels full. He glances at you, catching you watching him with a soft smile.

“You’re a good dad, Santi,” you say quietly.

“Thank you,” he replies, his voice barely a whisper as his cheeks warm. “That means a lot.”

Santi turns back to the girls again with a sense of awe, his heart swelling with pride. “I still can’t believe they’re ours,” he murmurs, his voice melting into a chuckle at the end.

“Me neither,” you admit, quickly licking at the dripping ice cream. “But I’m glad they are.”

The girls sleep for another hour, and you watch over them as Santi goes for a dip in the ocean. He offers to swap ‘shifts’ with you, but you’ve never been fond of the ocean, and you’re happy to keep an eye on the girls as they nap. And you don’t admit it, but you get to ogle Santi as he comes out of the ocean, golden skin glistening from the water and the sun…you noticed you weren’t the only one admiring him, and you couldn’t help but feel slightly smug when the other women – and some men – on the beach send jealous looks over to you when he joins you.

The morning turns into afternoon, and Jasmine wakes from her nap, where Santi offers to change her as you set out the picnic between you both. Jasmine babbles away as Santi places her back in her support, and you hand her a few toys in reach to keep her entertained as you eat. You’d brought Santi’s favourite sandwiches and some fruits, and his favourite cake from that bakery you frequently go to when you go on one of your walks together (“It’s Father’s Day, why wouldn’t I bring your favourite foods?”).

There was that warm feeling again. This was Santi’s first Father's Day. Every giggle, every tiny hand grasping his finger, every sleepy sigh as they drifted off to sleep, it all felt so surreal. Santi couldn't shake the feeling that he was living in a dream, one where he was finally building the family he had longed for, and the weight of it pressed on him, a mixture of awe and gratitude. He doesn’t know how you always know how he feels, but as you reach other to give his hand a squeeze, he doesn’t hesitate to squeeze right back.

Isabela wakes up soon after you both finish eating, and you change her, and reapply sunscreen to everyone (“You too, dada!”) before you and Santi take them in the water again. Isabela, again, has a little fright before she embraces the water, and she lets you take her in deeper. Soon, Santi is holding both girls in his arms, the water up to his chest as he holds them both in the water, cheering that both of them have taken to it so well.

“Wait, wait, let me get a photo!” you call before you get as close as you’re comfortable with, getting a photo of Santi smiling widely, sunglasses on his face. You take as many as you can, even some where he’s just cooing to them both.

The day passes in a blur of baby giggles, diaper changes, and feedings. Santi marvels at how much the girls have grown, their personalities starting to shine through even at such a young age. He can already tell that Isabela is more adventurous, always wriggling and reaching for things, while Jasmine is quieter, content to snuggle in his arms. His finds his mind drifting back to memories of his own father, the way they all used to spend the day fishing or grilling in the backyard, and the way his mother used to try and take over the cooking, but his father always used to tell her it was his day and he will cook the meat however he damn well pleases (but eventually, his mother would always end up by the grill with his father, her arms around his waist as he followed her instructions). He smiles at the thought of making new traditions with his Isabela and Jasmine, even if they were too young to remember them now.

Santi would like to think his parents would be proud of him, and of the girls.

The sun lowers, and there’s a slight chill coming in from the breeze and you both call it a day. You feed the girls one last time before packing up, and hauling everything back to the car, where you strap them into their car seats, giving them toys to play with. You close the trunk of the car, before turning to Santi.

“So,” you say, crossing your arms and leaning against the car. “How was your first Father’s Day?”

Santi gives you that crooked smile that always makes your knees weak. But you’ll never tell him that. “I admit, it scared me a little. But…it was a good day. A perfect day, actually.”

You smile, proud of yourself, and of him. “Good. I’m glad.”

Sanit offers to drive you home, and you take the opportunity. The drive back is quiet, and the girls fast asleep in the backseats, their faces peaceful. The sun and the excitement of the day wearing them out more than usual. You doze in the passenger seat, and Santi sends over a fond smile as he pulls up outside his house. He gently shakes you away.

“Hey…” he mutters. “We’re home.”

You blink up at him and yawn before stretching. You sit up and unbuckle your belt. “Thanks for driving home.”

“No problem.” He smiles at you before you both go quiet, just taking each other in. After a moment, he says, “Thanks for today. It was…perfect.”

“It was,” you agree, smiling at his sincere tone. “We should do it again sometime, not just for Father’s Day.”

“I’d like that,” Santi replies, a warmth spreading through him at the thought. “We could invite Fish and Sarah, and they could bring Sofía.”

You nod. “That would be nice.”

After you swap places in the car, and Santi gives his daughters a kiss goodbye, giving them soft smiles as they stir awake, he comes to the driver’s window. “So I’ll have them Tuesday and Wednesday, right?”

You nod. “Yeah. Oh! Actually, can you have them Saturday evening, too. I uh…I have plans.”

He pauses for a moment and ignores the sudden tightness in his chest before he smirked at the warmth of your cheeks. “What plans?”

“None of your business,” you say with a teasing grin as you roll your eyes.

“You got a date?” Santi teases back.

“Maybe…I’ll let you know,” you say. There’s a small quiet moment between you both before you clear your throat. “So…see you on Tuesday? I’ll text you.”

“See you on Tuesday,” he says, and you give him a goodbye as you pull away. Santi watches as you drive away, a sense of contentment settling over him. His first Father’s Day. It had been more than he ever could have hoped for.

Tagged - @khonsulockley, @superficialfeelings, @othersideoftheparadise, @beezusvreeland, @itsmytimetoodream

[loveesiren]

𝖲𝗇𝗈𝗐𝖿𝖺𝗅𝗅 - 𝖢.𝖲.

DISCLAIMER: This is my first Sturniolo fic and I have taken a longggg break from writing so I am very rusty. Sorry in advance that this most likely sucks. I'm also not great with fluff but I thought this was cute so I hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think <3

Synopsis: In which Y/n finds the one person who brings joy to her life.

Warnings: Language, broken family (deceased father, alcoholic mother, troubled youth), fluff, cigarettes, very brief mention of drugs

Word Count: 2.4k+

“I WISH I WASN’T EITHER!” You screamed at your mother before slamming the door and walking out into the cold winter night. You grabbed a cigarette from your coat pocket and placed it between your teeth as you searched for your lighter. You brought it to the tip of your cigarette, flicking it a few times until it finally lit. 

I wish you weren’t my daughter. The words echoed in your head as you made your way down the dimly lit street. Light snow fell from the sky and your neighborhood was silent, the fluffy white powder absorbing all sound. The space around you was liminal. It was nights like these that were perfect for clearing your head. 

Chris’s POV

I heard Y/n yelling and I immediately turned my attention to the window. I slipped my headphones off, completely ignoring Matt and Nick and abandoning the game. I watched as Y/n clicked her lighter to light up her cigarette before walking off down the street. She looked sad. That wasn’t unusual. Especially this time of year.

I’d grown up next to Y/n my whole life. I’d dare to even say she is my friend. Although maybe she doesn’t feel the same about me? She was confusing at times. She was often quiet and kept to herself at school. She was really kind. But I’d also seen her lay someone out before for disrespecting her. She was smart as hell but always managed to end up in detention and for some reason I found myself getting into situations to get detention just so I could hang out with her. 

Obviously, my parents didn’t love that but she was so intriguing. The whole neighborhood knew of her situation. Her mom definitely wasn’t the most pleasant neighbor. Y/n tried to escape that as much as she could but she was still viewed as the “troubled kid” growing up. Now we are 18 and on the verge of graduating. I was beginning to fear that she’d be gone soon. She’d told me before how she couldn’t wait to get out of this town, that there was nothing keeping her here. 

Where would you go? I texted her.

Idk. Maybe the Outer Banks? Learn to surf, search for treasure, live like a Pogue. Lol. She responded.

We didn’t always stay up late texting but when we did our conversations were always interesting. I was always excited to see my phone screen light up with her name. It wasn’t constant, but often enough that Matt and Nick began to notice.

“Who are you texting?” Nick asked one day.

“Yeah, you smile like a goof every time you look at your phone.” Matt added.

“No one,” I responded quickly. 

“That’s a fucking lie. Who is it?” Nick asked again. Matt quickly snatched my phone from my hands and ran away with it.

“Matt, what the fuck!” I yelled as I attempted to chase him. Matt tossed it over my head and Nick caught it at the perfect time for Y/n to text me back. My phone lit up with her name and photo and Nick's jaw dropped.

“Y/n?!”

“Ew, the weird bitch?” Matt added.

“She’s not fucking weird!” I snapped, grabbing my phone back. “Don’t fucking worry about it.” I stormed off to my room and since then they haven’t brought it up. Which was fine by me. They didn’t take the time to get to know her, no one did. She was actually cool as fuck.

I thought about texting her as I watched her walk further down the street. But it just didn’t feel right. I wanted to talk to her in person. 

“Dude! What are you doing?” Matt burst through my door. “You totally fucked me and Nick in the game!”

“I’m done playing for now.” I told him as I went to my closet to grab my coat and snow boots.

“Where are you going?”

“I’ll be back in a bit, okay?”

“Chris!”

I hated keeping things from my brothers but this was something I didn’t feel like discussing with them further. They made it clear they didn’t care about Y/n. The only time they ever made comments is when they noticed her and her mom fighting. They knew she was my friend and that’s all they needed to know. All I cared about was catching up with Y/n and making sure she was okay. It was absolutely freezing outside. 

I left out the backdoor without responding to Matt and made my way down the street.

Y/n’s POV

You let the tears fall freely from your eyes as you dragged your cigarette. One more semester until you graduate and then you could leave this god awful suburb for the rest of your life. After your dad died when you were just thirteen, your mom took all her anger out on you. The last five years had been miserable. You missed your dad. You missed when your mom didn’t drink. You missed when you were a regular family. Now you were just the girl everyone felt sorry for. The troubled one.

You made your way to the small pond near the end of your neighborhood. You were ready to sit and let the stillness of the water distract you until you heard footsteps behind you. Your body tensed, nervous for who would be out here at this hour. You reached in your pocket and grabbed your knife, quickly pulling it and turning it on the person walking your way.

“Whoa, whoa!” The dark figure said, stopping in his tracks with his hands up. “It’s me! Chris!”

“Chris?” You asked softly, lowering your knife. He stepped forward. It was indeed Chris Sturniolo. You took a deep breath at the sight of him. “You scared the fuck out of me!” You scolded.

“I’m sorry…” He said. Unsure if he should walk closer or not.

“It’s fine,” You chuckled. “What are you doing out here?”

“Oh, you know, just enjoying the freezing weather.” He said, smiling and stepping closer to you. 

“It’s lovely, isn’t it?” You joke as your teeth chattered. 

“What are you doing out here, Y/n?” Chris asks, his voice more serious now.

“Just needed some air.” You told him. “I like this pond in the summer. There are lots of frogs. I wonder where they all go in the winter…” Your face fell as you pondered the thought.

“Y/n..”

You sniffled as you looked down at the pond. Chris always knew. “What.” You responded. It wasn’t a question.

“You have mascara running down your cheeks.”

Christopher Sturniolo might have been the only person to ever see you cry. He always knew and he was always there. It was a rare occasion but as you thought back on it, he always seemed to appear when you were sad and find a way to cheer you up. Whether it be walking home with you, trying to make you laugh, or even just sitting next to you silently so you wouldn’t be alone.

“She said she wishes I wasn’t her daughter.” You confessed, allowing your head to fall. Chris wasted no time in wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into him. Normally you hated being touched but you felt so comfortable with him. He wrapped one hand around your lower back and the other made its way to your hair as he towered just above you. 

“I’m sorry, Y/n. You deserve so much more.” He said softly.

You cried more at his words. In what world did you deserve more? In what world did you deserve Chris?

“Y/n, you’re freezing.” 

“Yeah, I know. I’ll call Billy-”

“No. Come to my house.” He cut you off.

You were taken aback for a moment. You hadn’t been to the Sturniolo’s since their 13th birthday party. The only reason you were invited was because your father died. You couldn’t imagine his parents or brothers actually liked you. 

“Chris, I can’t just intrude like that-”

“You’re not intruding. And I don’t want you at Billy’s.” He stated. You’d never heard the sweet Chris Sturniolo sound so serious about something. Billy definitely wasn’t the best guy but he always gave you a place to stay when you needed it. “I don’t trust him.”

Chris had no reason to trust him. Billy was a dick and often fucked people over. But having him as a connect meant a place to stay and drugs to do as long as you put out or helped him out. But to be invited to Chris’s house made you nervous. His parents were sweet. His brothers were protective. Chris bringing you home would be like bringing home a stray raccoon. 

“Chris, I can’t.” You sigh.

“Why not?”

“Because it’s not a good look sneaking some degenerate into your home at midnight,”

“I will walk you through the front door proudly,” He says. “Besides, my parents are asleep and my brothers are too invested in their game. Just come over for a bit to warm up? We can listen to music in my room.”

You thought about it for a moment.

“If you hate it, you live right across the street,” He smiled hopefully at you, 

You couldn’t help but smile back at him. “Fine.” You say. “But just for a little bit! Once my mom is asleep I’m going home.”

“Deal.” Chris agreed, throwing his arm over your shoulder and guiding you back towards the street.

The two of you walked back to his house with minimal conversation. 

“Wanna catch snowflakes?” Chris asked before sticking his tongue out and letting the snow fall on it.

You giggled at him but followed his lead. The crisp flakes on your tongue felt nice. You were having fun jumping around in the snow with Chris. You even stopped at the park to make stupid snow angels and throw snowballs at each other. Before you knew it, the snow was getting heavier, almost blizzarding. 

“C’mon!” Chris yelled, grabbing your hand and running towards his house. 

You made it to his porch and he opened the door slowly. The kitchen was mostly dark aside from the microwave light being on and the light that shined underneath Nick’s door. You could hear him still awake, obviously yelling at a video game he was playing. 

Chris put a finger to his lips, gesturing for you to be quiet as you both slipped out of your boots. He grabbed your hand and you both tiptoed through the dimly lit house and up to his room. You made your way down the hall and followed Chris into his bedroom. 

“Make yourself at home,” He said with a smile. He went to his computer and logged into his Spotify. You scanned his room, noticing all the posters of his favorite artists on his walls. You could tell he was passionate about music. 

“Who’s your favorite?” You ask. He looks at you and you gestured to all the posters.

“Skies, for sure!” He says. “What about you?”

You unzip your coat to reveal the shirt you got at Grey Day last year. “$uicideboy$”

Chris smiles at you. “I’ve never really listened to them. What’s a good song?”

“A Death In The Ocean Would Be Beautiful,” You say as you slip off your coat and sit on his bed. 

Chris turns on his galaxy projector so that wave-like colors flow across his ceiling before he presses play and joins you on his bed. You both lay back and listen intently as you watch the lights. 

“They’re kind of depressing…” Chris admits after the song is over. 

You chuckle slightly. “Yeah, they can be. But they can be helpful. They get it, you know? What I’m going through.”

Chris turns on his side and you mirror his movements as if you were his natural reflection. “I hate hearing it every night.” He admits.

Your body curls into itself, you pull your sleeves further over your hands. “I’m sorry…”

“No, not like that,” He says, propping himself up on one arm and placing his other on your shoulder, gently tangling his fingers through the ends of your hair. “I just hate hearing you guys fight and seeing you walk out in the cold every night. You don’t deserve that.”

“Trust me, Chris. I’m no saint.” You say with a sad laugh. 

“Don’t have to be a saint to deserve basic respect, especially from your own family.” 

“I only have to deal with it for a few more months. When I graduate, I’m out of here.” You smiled at the thought. 

“You know…I’m really going to miss you…” Chris says softly. 

You look up to see his eyes already on you. You wanted to tell him you’d miss him too. You wanted to tell him to come with you, although you knew he’d never leave his brothers. You wanted to tell him he was the only good thing in your life and every time you were near him you felt happy and warm and like everything was going to be okay for once in your miserable fucking life. But with every single thought your brain contained about Chris Sturniolo, your mouth could only mutter three little words. 

“I love you…”

Chris’s lips parted slightly with shock as his eyes quickly scanned your features.

“Fuck! I’m sor-”

You were quickly cut off when he pressed his lips to yours. You were taken aback for a moment but quickly leaned in to deepen the kiss. He brought his hand up to cup your jaw and your fingers found their way to his hair. His lips were soft and sweet and you felt that fluttering feeling in the pit of your stomach that you hadn’t felt in a long, long time. 

He pulled away slightly and you frowned at the loss of contact. “I’ve wanted to do that for a long fucking time…” He said, his voice almost a whisper. 

“I-I didn’t know you liked me…” You said. “Why?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” You’re smart, you’re sweet, you know what you want, and pretty as hell.” He smiled. “Not to mention you’re like the strongest person I know. You deserve so much better than the cards you’ve been dealt.”

You felt tears welling in your eyes again but you couldn’t help but smile. You don’t know what you did to deserve the pretty boy who had his arms wrapped around you, but you hoped you never had to let him go. 

“Can I stay?” You asked shyly.

Chris smiled and pulled his comforter over both of you. “Please,” He said. 

You snuggled into him, resting your head on his chest while he played with your hair. 

“And Y/n?” He said, placing a kiss on your forehead.

“Mmm?”

“I love you, too.”

Tagging a few mutuals! Let me know if you want to be added/removed from tag list :)

Tags: @strniohoeee @flowerxbunnie @christinarowie332 @kenzieiskoolaid @bluesturniolo333 @chrattnick @recklesssturniolo @soursturniolo @byechristopher @justangelheree @sturnimovies

[milfmuses]

Sleepy Showers

A/N: Hi hornies! I wrote this fic randomly and thought I should serve the sapphics more delicious Larissa content. Please make sure to read the warnings, and as always, feel free to leave comments and suggestions! Many thanks to the wonderful @weemssapphic​ for yet another beta read. Your kindness is overwhelmingly appreciated.

Larissa Weems x femreader

Summary: A morning shower turns into a steamy session when Larissa decides to shapeshift her most intimate parts...

Warnings: fluff, smut, g!p Larissa, Reader receiving, handjob, penetration, creampie

As you wake, the comforting weight of your lover’s arm over your torso almost lulls you back to sleep. However, you need to begin the day and get ready for work. You are a teacher at Nevermore, one that Larissa found herself infatuated with. You obviously returned her feelings. Things blossomed quickly after she gained the courage to ask you out on a date. Over time, your love for each other grew and now you both have a shared studio living area in the staff wing of the school. Your relationship can only be described as sweet, romantic, and loving. You find joy in the little things, always bringing Larissa flowers to brighten up her office, and buying her favorite lipstick when you notice it running low. She enjoys sneaking into your room between classes to bring food and sometimes you’ll return to your apartment, immediately noticing the envelope that you know contains a love letter she writes with passion. You even set aside time each week to have a special dinner or date night, usually opting for a nice restaurant, spending time afterward in the comfort of your bed watching movies, and then making love. Life is wonderful, and Larissa has brought you happiness beyond anything you’ve felt before.

Rolling over slowly, you face the woman of your dreams. Her blonde curls are tousled from sleep, her pale skin glowing in the morning light, and her plump lips stained a faint red hue from her daily choice of lipstick. The steady rising and falling of her chest accompanied by soft breaths brings you peace as you gaze upon your partner with nothing but awe and adoration.

Not wanting to interrupt her slumber, you place a gentle kiss on her forehead and begin lifting her arm away from your waist. Before you can roll back over and rise from the bed, a deep inhale sounds from beside you. You watch as Larissa’s eyes open and she groggily blinks away her exhaustion. Bright blue eyes peer into your own, the corners crinkling as a smile overtakes her face seeing your state of sleepiness.

“Good morning my love, are you heading to the shower?”

“Good morning angel, yes I’ve gotta get ready earlier today since I have a meeting with a student about a project before my first class.”

Larissa pouts when you mention having to leave bed early, wanting you to stay in the warmth of her arms for a while longer.

“I know you are being grumpy but you look so cute! Here, let me check my phone in case to confirm with the student.”

You roll over and pick up your phone from the nightstand, opening your emails and finding a new message sent just before midnight.

Hi Ms. L/N,

I started feeling sick tonight and will have to miss the meeting tomorrow morning. Maybe I can find a time to meet with you tomorrow if I feel better. Sorry for the late notice, I will keep you updated and let you know my availability for a rescheduled meeting time.

Thank you

Your face lights up knowing that you now have a free morning with the goddess of a woman next to you.

“Good news Riss! Well, I mean not technically good news since my student is out sick, but we have the morning to ourselves!”

Instantly, Larissa’s face brightens and she yanks you back over to her in a messy hug. 

“Thank goodness, how could I ever be deprived of my darling girl?”

You laugh and pull away, an idea forming in your head for a fun morning plan.

“Would you want to take a shower with me? You know how much I love holding you in the water especially now that you had a second shower head installed to keep us both warm.”

That stunning grin you absolutely adore beams back at you and she kisses your cheek affectionately.

“Of course I would, sleepy showers are the best with you, my dear.”

Both of you roll over to your respective sides of the bed, standing hesitantly on tired legs from just having woken up. Larissa winks at you and sways her hips teasingly as she makes her way over to the bathroom. You shake your head playfully at her antics, but don’t pass up the chance to ogle her round ass sitting perfectly in her pajama pants. Following her in a trance, you wince as your feet hit the cold bathroom tile. She gingerly opens the shower door and turns on the water, steam beginning to fog up the frosted glass as it heats up.

“My sleepy girl, let’s get you undressed for me. You know how much I love taking off your clothes…”

With a smirk, your girlfriend lifts the hem of your shirt, your stomach immediately reacting with goosebumps to the temperature. Your breasts fall into place, nipples standing hard against the chilly air. Larissa takes a second to bite her lip in arousal but pulls the shirt completely off your body.

“My my, someone appears a bit cold. Don’t worry, I’ll get you warmed up and take care of those gorgeous breasts.”

You blush at her flirtatious words and bring your arms over your bare chest, trying to heat up your freezing skin.

“Well, it’s only fair that you take care of what’s yours…”

She chuckles at your response, loving how you put up with her mischief and always play along. As to not keep you in the cold for too long, she lowers the waistband of your pants and lets the loose pajamas fall to the floor. You swear you felt a hand brush against your mound when she lifted her arms back up as she stood straight but you ignore it for now, impatient to get in the hot water.

“May I undress you too Rissa? Or should I get in now and wait for you there?”

“Why don’t you go ahead and step in love? I see you shivering, my poor angel. I’ll be quick, I want to spend every second I have giving you affection.”

With a pink hue gracing your cheeks, you shuffle over to the shower and step through the door. Marble walls stretch upwards, and white warm flooring is now comfortable against your feet compared to the harsh tile on the other side of the blurred glass that faces the rest of the bathroom. A bench attached to the wall has an assortment of soaps and gels neatly arranged in the corner. An instant sigh of relaxation and ease leaves your mouth, your body melting under the steady stream. 

Through the clouded glass, you make out the distinct shape of your lover removing her clothes. Her head tilts back as her shirt falls to the floor and the silhouette of her perky breasts makes your breath catch in your throat. She bends down and takes off her pants, revealing the supple swell of her ass that compliments her long silken thighs. 

Closing your eyes and bringing your hands to smooth back your now-soaked hair, you hear the door open and shut. You open your eyes and take in the sight of your naked girlfriend which freezes your body entirely. 

“Like what you see?”

“You know I do. Now come here before I eat you alive, you sexy woman.”

With a chuckle, Larissa steps forward and takes you in her arms. Her chest presses against yours, the squish making your cheeks deepen to a scarlet color. Her tall frame causes your face to rest against her shoulder, tender lips finding the top of your head.

Standing there silently, her arms wrapped around you in safety and comfort, with her soft skin against yours and nothing but love swirling around your brain is heaven. After staying still, savoring the beautiful moment, you feel her hand inch lower until it finds your butt. She gives it a squeeze, not missing how your breath hitches and you push your hips back into her hand. 

“Darling, how are you so incredibly divine? You have no idea how badly I want to engrave the image of you in my mind to keep forever. Luckily, I have you all to myself for however long you’ll allow me.”

Leaning back you stare up at her with adoring eyes, capturing those blue orbs that always have you mesmerized.

“My love, you have me forever. My heart belongs to you and I will cherish yours until the end of time. I love you Larissa.”

Her eyes observe you with total fondness, sincerity in her voice as she speaks.

“I love you too darling, you will be treated like a princess because that is what you are to me. If you want a kiss? You’ll have one. Maybe cuddles? Of course, my arms are open and eager. If you want me to worship you? Well, I will already be doing that as usual.”

You giggle and bring your hand to the back of her head, gently pushing her down towards your lips for a sweet kiss. Her mouth moves in tandem with your own, passion entangled in the way she pulls your bottom lip between her teeth and tugs, emitting a moan and then releasing it to use her tongue to explore. Your body tingles and your core throbs, the sloppy sounds of the kiss and how she hungrily devours your mouth turning you on severely. Pulling away to gasp for air, Larissa pouts with a whine.

“Rissa love, you’re making me squirm. Would you want to…?”

With a proud grin, Larissa seductively peers down at you, causing chills to run up your spine.

“Normally I would make you use your words, but I really want to try something this morning and I want to make sure you are comfortable with it.”

Your eyebrow raises in question, not knowing what she could possibly be thinking of.

“My love, I was hoping to use my shapeshifting abilities to… change my lower half. Would you be okay with letting me fuck you with a real cock? It’s just an idea and as always, we will never do anything you aren’t comfortable with.”

The idea intrigues you and in your mind, the picture of Larissa fucking you with reddened cheeks from how you feel around her drives you wild. Not to mention, being filled by not only her cock, but her cum as well is something you’ve been fantasizing about. 

“Yes! I mean- yes, Rissa, I would really love that. I love you and I want you to feel every part of me, including the deepest parts that will bring you pleasure.”

Releasing a breath she didn’t know she was holding in, your girlfriend excitedly hugs you and whispers in your ear.

“Good thing I know exactly which strap you love the most. I’ll just shift my cock to match exactly how you like it.”

She takes a deep breath and closes her eyes, you continue resting in her embrace as she shifts. You gasp as something rubs at your lower belly and you turn beet-red knowing what it is. Larissa groans when her cock grows against your body, the length squeezing between your smooth stomachs. Tilting your head back to watch her reactions, you hear a whimper and widen your eyes at how adorable yet sexy she is. Larissa pants as her hips softly rock to rub herself against you. Her eyes are shut tightly and rosy cheeks flush as small whimpers continuously exit her open mouth.

“Does that feel good baby? You look so pretty rubbing yourself against me. I feel how hard you are oh god- let me help you, sweet girl.”

Her eyes meet yours and she yelps as your hand grasps her hardness. 

“Are you sensitive, my love? Poor baby, I promise I’ll be gentle.”

Speechless in both exhilaration and overwhelming emotion, she intently focuses on your face. Your hand starts moving up and down, jerking her off with delicate strokes. Her breaths stutter and it takes an immense amount of effort for her hips to not fuck up into your hand.

“L-Love, yes god- feels… so good. Darling- I- I love you-”

With a sensual smile, you lean forward and capture her lips with your own. She whimpers into your mouth as your hand rubs her cock lovingly. Your pussy throbs and drips uncontrollably, her angelic sounds fueling the fire in your lower belly. 

“I love you too Rissa, are you ready to fuck me? Is that what you want baby?”

“Ye-yes please Y/N, please I need you-”

Her begging spurs on your dominance. Larissa typically takes on the dominant role but these moments when she is submissive and needy melt your heart.

“Okay love, I’ve got you. I’ve got you pretty baby.”

She shudders when you remove your hand. Turning around, you press your ass back into her, making her groan with her cock now pushed between your cheeks. You smirk to yourself and bend forward, presenting your backside to her. You lift a foot up and place it on the bench. Your cunt is soaked and Larissa is hypnotized, her cock throbbing and twitching, completely aroused by your bare ass and dripping arousal.

“Go ahead Riss, I know you can’t resist…”

Not hesitating and more than ready to enter you, she lines herself up with your sopping hole and pushes in.

“Oh fuck!”

She moans obscenely and grips your hips hard, the way your walls take her in and tightly clench around her length makes it hard to hold back. If she wasn’t so determined to fuck you as you deserve, she would have come as soon as she bottomed out. The stretch feels delicious, her warm cock filling you entirely. It feels similar to your favorite strapon, but there are obvious differences like the soft warmth of her skin and the way you can feel each subtle twitch and throb inside of you.

“Larissa- oh my god- please fuck me.”

Your lover immediately pulls out, leaving about an inch inside, and then thrusts back in. Her hips pound into you hungrily and she grunts with exertion and effort holding back her approaching climax. 

“Yes! Fuck me- god yes!”

“Yeah? You like that- darling? Take- ngh- take it baby-”

Wet slaps of her hips against your backside sound throughout the steamy shower and you brace yourself against the wall with your hands. Your breasts swing back and forth, matching the rhythm of her thrusts. She leans forward and kisses your back, nipping and sucking marks onto your skin while still gripping your hip with one hand and groping your tits with the other. Her hips lose rhythm and you recognize how her breathing gets shallow and her moans increase in pitch. She is getting close and so are you. Nearing the edge, you need a push to reach your orgasm. Luckily, your girlfriend knows your body well enough.

“Darling- I’m gonna- I’m close, please- I want you to cum with me- mmm ngh-”

She reaches the hand clinging onto your breasts down and parts your lips to find your swollen clit. Two fingers circle the sensitive nub expertly.

“Baby- fuck! Rissa gonna- cumming-”

Intense waves of pleasure overtake your body as your orgasm washes over you. Your walls flutter and tighten, causing Larissa to thrust once more and release herself. A strangled moan departs her mouth, and her pulsing cock shoots hot cum deep inside of you. Her entire body feels rapturous as she quietly mutters “I love you” over and over. Coming down from your highs, you both pant heavily and she rests her weight on top of you. She stays inside, loving how she keeps you full of her cum with throbs of post-orgasm bliss. Once you come back down from paradise and catch your breath, Larissa speaks softly.

“I’m going to pull out, darling- I’ll go slow and you let me know if anything hurts or is uncomfortable.”

Her cock carefully inches out, you wince at the emptiness but love how cum leaks out of you. Larissa watches in awe as white juices plop onto the shower floor, your cunt looks beyond alluring. 

“Good job my love, you did so well! I’m so proud of you. Thank you for letting me do that, I cannot even begin to describe how much I loved it.”

Surprisingly, she becomes shy and you turn your head to see her looking down trying to hide the obvious blush on her gorgeous face. 

“Thank you for fucking me like that Riss, I definitely want to do it again sometime. I enjoyed it more than you know.”

You set your foot down and straighten your back at the same time, rotating around to face the love of your life. Larissa studies your exhaustion and sexily disheveled post-orgasm state. Your chest rises and falls steadily. Cum now slides down your thighs and red marks adorn your hips from where she gripped you. You are the most beautiful woman she has ever seen, and at this moment, she can barely function seeing you like this. 

“You are so beautiful, I love you. Let me hold you for a bit before we have to clean up and get ready for work. First, I’m going to shift back.”

She closes her eyes once more and concentrates, morphing back to the stunning lower intimacy that you worship endlessly whenever possible. 

“I love you too Rissa. Although I loved you fucking me like that, I have to say I missed this dearly.”

You cup her center and move to kiss her with so much love. You both smile into it and then settle into a comfortable embrace. Your head rests against her chest, listening to the strong heartbeat of the blonde angel that you are lucky to call yours. She holds you protectively, placing her cheek on the top of your head and passing her body heat to you. Intimacy like this between you and Larissa, standing in the middle of the shower as warm water soothes your bodies, is something you will cherish until time stops.

[stedefxckingbonnet]

If you're doing izzy x reader requests I'd love to see something along the lines of reader killing someone for the first time either to keep Izzy safe or because someone threatened to kill him. With izzy just being shocked/honored that someone would do that for him and it makes him a little bit starry-eyed. Obviously if you're not vibing with this feel free to just use parts or ignore it all together 🖤 thanks for keeping the izzy x reader fics alive

Firstly, thank you so much for that last sentence—words like those motivate me so much more, and bring me so much joy! Thank you to all of you who have welcomed me with open arms, as I sorta feel like I arrived here out of nowhere!! I hope this one does your request justice; how could I ignore it, it's absolutely amazing! Enjoy the rest of your day or night, lovely stranger, and I hope you enjoy this as well! it brought me joy to write and I hope it brings you even more joy to read ♡

P.S. More longer fics coming soon, I promise! I'm still just dipping my toes back in to writing these, and I hope the lengths have been okay thus far! I may even revisit some of these first ones I'm writing down the line and elaborate upon them, if that's something you'd all be interested in.

Eternity | Izzy Hands x Reader

Warnings: death (not of a major character or reader!), mentions of blood, mentions of choking, brief violence beginning and escalating quickly, some language, kissing

Word count: 2755

There was one thing you absolutely dreaded that just seemed to come with the price of being a pirate, almost like a rite of passage—murder. You were lucky enough to have crew mates beside you with the exact opposite opinion to do your biddings for you because, let's face it, even if you didn't want the blood directly upon your hands, there were still people you thought deserved to die, for the safety of yourself and the crew. But the thought of seeing the life escape a person at your own discretion was a thought that absolutely haunted you. Even while sailing with Blackbeard on the Queen Anne you had managed to avoid such a situation. Still, you had always promised yourself that if it were absolutely necessary, you wouldn't hold it against yourself too much. You sighed at that thought, your face slumping into the palm of your hand as you finished your breakfast. Certain mornings, you preferred to rise earlier in order to avoid eating with the crew as much as you absolutely loved them, and Roach understood this, thankfully. Every night before you retreated to your quarters after Stede wove his bedtime tales, he would always discreetly pull you aside and ask whether you would be joining them in the morning and he was always prepared for either response, setting your meal at your usual spot at the table. This had been going on for quite awhile, and you always worried the crew would find out and then take it personally. But, no one ever had.

Though, you were confused as to why there was a second meal beside yours. You tried to eat as quickly as you possibly could in order to avoid whoever it was that might be joining you but of course, you were a smidge too late. Luckily for you, it was none other than Izzy Hands—for others, this would be an unlucky thing, but not for you. Never for you. You almost allowed yourself to smile at his appearance.

"What are you doing awake at this hour?"

"I could ask you the same thing," you shrugged as he sat beside you.

"Just haven't been liking starting my day with twats," he shrugged back, which earned a laugh from you.

"Am I included in that lot?" You couldn't help but tease him. He always acted annoyed when you did, but you saw right through his act.

"Fuck off," Izzy laughed quietly.

"Aww, I don't get the special treatment?"

"Why should you?" Anyone else would have thought Izzy was pissed off, but you knew better than that. He knew he was teasing you back, or at least, you hoped so. But you knew for a fact he wasn't really annoyed with you.

"Well, we go way back—don't we, Israel?"

Izzy chuckled. It seemed half-hearted, but you knew it was actually genuine, which warmed your heart that you could bring such sweet melodies out of him. "I suppose we do, yes."

"And I do all my chores before you even ask me to, and I get them done fast and still do a good job," you added, only sort of faux smugly.

"You want a sticker for that?" Izzy retorted.

"Wouldn't mind it," you laughed, sighing of relief as you did so. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw a smile almost spread across Izzy's usually stone-cold visage, like one of a marble statue. You couldn't help but smile yourself. "Sorry if I kind of rained on your desirably lonesome parade this morning."

"You didn't," Izzy replied nonchalantly, but you knew this was his way of saying he enjoyed your company. You knew him long enough to know that. "I'm glad it's you and not Stede fucking Bonnet."

You chuckled, your eyes rolling in addition. "Yeah. Could've been a lot worse. But, a word of advice—if you don't want to be stampeded by a starving group of "twats", we'd better get going in the next minute or so."

Izzy's eyes widened and he quickly downed the rest of his meal before disposing properly of whatever leftovers you both had. You protested for a moment, claiming you could toss your own remains away, but he insisted, only on behalf that it would make escaping a lot quicker. Once again you saw right through this. You had always found Izzy's funny ways of showing you that he cared about you endearing. You wouldn't trade any of it for the world, as ecstatic as you would be to really hear or see him express appreciation for you. You giggled as the two of you rushed out onto the deck—the sun had just risen, painting the sky a sort of orange and pink hue and birds could be heard singing from a distance, if you listened hard enough. It was breathtaking. it made waking up this early in the morning worthwhile. You looked over at Izzy, who seemed to be somewhat taken by such a sight, until his lips curled into an intentional frown.

"Izzy?" you asked, trying to snap him out of his thoughts. "What is it?"

"Oh," Izzy laughed breathlessly. "Nothing. Don't worry about it."

You didn't buy that for a second, but you also knew it wasn't worth your time or energy to press him. You knew how stubborn Izzy could be, and how because of this, he never wanted anyone else's help in any capacity. But he was more pensive than usual; something seemed to be plaguing him, and it plagued you knowing you would most likely never know what it could have been. Without another word, Izzy was out of your sight before you even noticed he left your side. You sighed, almost slumping against the railing. Cheering could be heard from the dining room, but you knew you would catch wind of whatever the excitement was in just moments. Before you could wonder any further, Olu and Black Pete rushed onto the deck to announce the day would be spent on land. You smiled to yourself, thinking perhaps you could get Izzy to join you on an endeavor or two. You rushed over to him with a hopeful glint in your eyes.

"Did you hear? We get a day off!"

"Oh, joy," Izzy mumbled sarcastically. "I should stay behind, watch the ship. Someone has to do it."

"But you did that last time," you pouted. "Come on, Iz. It could be—

"—What? Fun? I doubt it."

You sighed for what felt like a millionth time. You were almost out of breath, but you weren't going to give up this easily. If only you could show Izzy that the world held more wonders to behold, despite all that he had claimed to already have seen in all his years. Or maybe, just maybe, if he saw how much it would mean to you.

"Today is too beautiful a day to waste," you claimed, hoping so much that he would take the hint.

Izzy paused to ponder it. He craned his neck over to meet your eyes. "I suppose I could spare an hour or two."

You almost jumped for joy right there and then, but you only nodded in his line of sight, then allowing for a grin to dominate your expression as you walked away, ready to get off of the ship. Izzy followed behind, and the crew knew better than to follow just yet. Once the two of you stepped onto the dock, then everyone followed suit.

"Don't tell me we're going into some trashy tavern," Izzy grumbled quietly. This sort of surprised you—all these years, did Izzy fake enjoying all of the drinks he would get for himself, talking with others for hours at these establishments? You didn't necessarily adore it either, but Izzy never complained about it.

"I was thinking the pawnshop first, if that's alright with you?" you proposed. "I have a few things I want to get off my hands but don't want in the hands of just anyone."

"Better than what everyone else has going on," he shrugged. You led the way, seeming to know this place like the back of your hand even though to Izzy's knowledge, you had never been here before. But, what did he know of your life before the Queen Anne? He wished he knew more, but he didn't even know where to begin. Flat out asking you didn't seem like it was on the table, as happy as you would be to reveal anything he asked of you, and even happier to hear of his own life that existed prior. Without another thought of this, you led Izzy down a few winding paths until finally, you reached your first stop, not knowing it would actually be the last for the day. You rushed up to the door to hold it open for Izzy, a grin making its way onto your face once again, unknowingly.

"What do ya know, chivalry isn't dead," Izzy muttered but you saw the corners of his mouth rise. With this, you followed behind him, making sure to gently shut the door behind you. You reached into your pocket, revealing a small red velvet sachet. You waltzed right over to the oak countertop, revealing a few shining silver and gold rings and chains, the same smile still existing upon you.

"I can offer you quite a bit for these," the shopkeeper started. "But something your friend over there has interests me far more."

He pointed at Izzy's neck, which only made him self consciously clutch his cravat.

"I'm only offering you what's in front of you," you told the shopkeeper.

"And he isn't right in front of me?" he retaliated.

"You're saying you don't want any of this?"

"No," he sounded as if he were about to snap. "I want all this, and your friend's necktie."

"Well, you aren't getting it, I'm sorry," you spoke sincerely. "But I am happy to offer you any and all of this."

Before you knew it, the shop owner barged out from behind the countertop and planted himself right in front of Izzy's face. He began to undo Izzy's cravat himself while Izzy tried to swat him away, but you weren't going to allow this to happen. You made your way over and tried to pry him off of Izzy, to which you were slapped for trying to do so. You clutched your cheek, almost shouting in pain. Izzy and the owner's struggle was beginning to grow more violent and much more personal than it should have been, and you had never felt more helpless in your entire life. The shop owner had Izzy on the ground and began to choke him, and before you could think it through, you were on the floor, viciously grabbing this stranger by the collar, turning him to face you. You already had your dagger in your other hand and stabbed him right in the heart, wincing as you did so, as the blood spilled out onto his white shirt, and bits of it splattered across your own face. As soon as you were sure he was a goner, you released his body onto the ground. Your dagger slipped out of your hands as you rushed over to your Izzy to help him up. He wasn't ready to stand, you quickly realized, so you sat beside him and rubbed his back as he coughed and tried to regain oxygen.

"You're okay," you cooed, attempting to soothe the man before you. He couldn't muster a word, but he immediately locked eyes with you and his breath seemed to return to him. "You're okay," you repeated for the sake of no one but yourself this time, tears welling in your eyes and streaming down your cheeks.

Izzy looked at you with such a disbelief written all over his face. You, who used to shrivel into yourself at the mere mention of blood. You, who declared to never take someone's life unless absolutely necessary—oh yes, he recalled such a proclamation, loud and clear in the early days of the Queen Anne, and he remembered thinking it absolutely ridiculous. He remembered thinking you wouldn't survive a day bearing that mindset. Yet, you still persisted, and sailed the seas beside him for what felt like an eternity. Normally, Izzy would describe an eternity in such a way that it felt dreary and undesirable, but with you, an eternity was nowhere near enough. If he could, he would spend multiple eternities with you and it still wouldn't be enough. He looked at you as if you were the only other person in the world. Sometimes, he wished you were. Sometimes, he wished it could just be the two of you. Death had never been this close to meeting him, but now that it had, his mortality felt far too real, and his feelings towards you felt far too hidden. Even before this moment, every time the two of you were in close proximity to one another, his heart felt heavy with all of the tenderness he held onto for you, barely being able to contain it and his heart being warm almost felt concerning to him if it hadn't been such a pleasant experience. And it was a bit concerning to him that it felt nice. Especially in this moment, he knew he couldn't conceal himself much longer, not after you had been so willing to sacrifice someone else's life for his. He was honored that you went against your own word for him, of all people.

"Izzy, are you alri—"

Before you could finish your question, and perhaps say anything else in addition, Izzy's lips were on yours. He tried to wipe the blood off of you with his gloved hand the best he could as you kissed him back with such fervor, such longing. You had wanted this for what felt like an eternity. This was what you thought of every time Izzy walked into a room, and even anytime he wasn't close by. There were some moments you couldn't even be around him in fear that you would embarrass yourself and accidentally pour out your heart to him. You never thought this would be happening, you never thought Izzy would even fathom half of what you possibly felt for him, nor even feel any of the same ways. But with all the discreetly exchanged glances, the "accidental" brushes against one another, the excessive lingering while you did your tasks some days, the following your lead whenever you had those scarce days on land, even finding out from Roach the night before that you would be eating your breakfast alone the following morning, there was simply no way Izzy didn't return your sentiments, even if he wasn't quick to show it. Eventually, Izzy had to disconnect his lips from yours, almost gasping for air again. A giggle escaped your lips as he gently tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear, and he showed a smile that you had never before seen. You could have sworn your heart somehow gained a mind of its own and began doing backflips—how did it learn to do such a trick?

"I can't believe you did that for me," Izzy beamed, reminiscent of some sort of beacon or lighthouse.

You smiled sheepishly. "Are you mad?"

"The opposite, actually. I know your feelings about killing, and yet—"

"—It was worth it," you assured him, tracing patterns along the small of his back. "You are worth it."

Without another word as you both stood up, your fingers intertwined with his, the ungloved hand, and you slowly made your way back to the ship together, knowing no one else would be there to entice you into any antics. For a moment, it could and it would feel like you and your Izzy were the only two people in the world. You knew this moment wouldn't last forever, but it would already be one to cherish for the rest of eternity, and you hoped that now, you and Izzy could spend the rest of whatever that looked like together, thought it felt like you already have been. Only now, you could look over at him like he was your world, because he is, and not worry about what he would think. Now, he could hold you close to him and whisper everything he's dreamed of ever sharing with you since knowing you. Now, the two of you could truly share your love for one another beyond the end of time.

[deepdarkdelights]

Milliseconds (2) | 10 Series Drabbles

Fic Type: Drabble

Word Count: ~3k

Series: 10 Seconds 

Takes place almost directly after the end of the series (part 5). 

Summary: The MC has a sudden snap to clarity after hearing about the miraculous escape of another woman who was in a similar position as herself. 

Warnings: 18+, Yandere, Kidnapping, Stalking, Anxiety Symptoms, Fear, Mentions of Drugging, Jungkook has baby fever, MC rationalizing toxic and harmful behavior

A/N: Hello! So the votes spoke very loud and clear that you all wanted a 10 Series Drabble! I have been thinking about writing a scenario like this one and I am pretty happy with it so I hope that you guys are too. I believe an anon did give me this idea (updated credit below 12/8) The Jin fic is taking me such a long time and I really wanted to post something as a treat for all of you before finals week - I hope this delivers on that! I love you all and I can’t wait to see your reactions in the comments and my inbox 💜💜💜

Prompt Credit: @mochi13

Drabble (1) 

It felt like you had been living in a dream state for the longest time now. 

Every thought, every memory was cloudy with a dreamy haze and tinted in shades of rose. The best way to explain it was that you were operating almost entirely on autopilot, especially when Jungkook wasn’t home.

But even in those moments when you were together, you never felt total clarity. Your relationship felt like a dream as well - the stuff of cheap romance novels and teen movies. The very thing that women, and some men alike, craved and dreamt of. No one’s life was meant to be this perfect and that should have been a clue. But the red flags that once waved proudly in front of your face were steeped in shades of gray - you had gone colorblind to his faults. 

And honestly, you could understand how that happened. Ever since the two of you had returned to the city and you had slowly introduced your family back into your life a sense of normalcy had unknowingly descended upon your fragile mind. Those unbearable months of isolation in the woods have become lost, buried in the trenches of your mind. And the way he acted now, how he held you, cherished you, loved you, it was easy to become blinded. 

You had succumbed to your worst fear and you didn’t even know it. 

Even now you melted into his touch. His strong hands settled on your waist as he pulled you back into his chest, his chin coming down to rest upon the slope of your shoulder - notching together like two perfect puzzle pieces. 

“Good morning, baby,” He whispered, his voice low and laden with sleep as he nuzzled further into your skin. 

“Morning,” You mumbled back with a wisp of a smile on your lips, your hands busy with finishing up breakfast. 

Jungkook never asked you to do that for him, in fact, oftentimes he was the one offering to care for you. But months of training from his mother had adhered stronger than you had anticipated. You rose earlier than you used to, your body doing the work for you without your input. It was hard to say if you derived joy from the task, but you knew joy when his pleased smile would spark warmth in your chest. 

Jungkook was far too hesitant to admit he did enjoy it when you did these things, domestic things. He didn’t want to make you think he needed a mother - after all he wanted you, a wife. If he wanted a caretaker he would have stayed with his mother. But god, did he fantasize about you being the mother of his children. He dreamt of those sleepless nights with a newborn baby, the first day of kindergarten, and a home filled with laughter and the quintessential pitter-patter of tiny feet. But he knew he had to wait. After all, you had brought it up first, you were not ready.

He delivered a firm squeeze to your hip, his nose brushing at the column of your throat as he let out a pleased hum. 

“Down boy,” You giggled, halfheartedly slapping his hands away, “You have work, do you really want to piss Yoongi off by being late again?” 

“He’ll be late anyways, you know he doesn’t get much sleep anymore.” He whined before acquiescing and backing off, leaning back against the island counter. 

The subtle hints again. Jungkook came home every day from work gushing about Yoongi’s baby. About how she was already saying words despite you knowing she was definitely just babbling and not comprehending whether she was saying meaningful words or not. He was absolutely enamored by his goddaughter. 

“She has the cutest little shoes,” and “She sat on Yoongi’s lap during the meeting and drooled all over his documents,” and “I got to hold her for an entire hour and she didn’t cry once, I must be a natural.” 

While it was true that Jungkook was a natural at almost anything he tried, you still weren’t giving in to the bait. But when you tried to think about why you didn’t want a child your mind wandered elsewhere and you couldn’t think of a good reason not to. There was some block, some important answer hidden right around the corner but every time you tried to reach out to it, it darted away and stayed just out of reach.

“The quicker you get going the sooner you’ll be home,” You reminded him as you turned the burners on the stove off. 

“I could just take the day off again,” He said with a pout. 

“No, you just took a week off. You’re the CFO Jungkook you know better,” You chided him. 

Jungkook had just taken the week off, declaring the two of you were having a staycation. Said staycation had really just been the two of you redecorating your shared living space, binging dramas, and fucking like rabbits - which had not been your idea but you hadn’t exactly been against it. In fact, you were laid against a few things that week. 

You probably should have made the assumption that he had baby fever sooner. 

But if you needed anything it was for him to go to work, you needed the break, all of you needed the break.  Some parts of you more than others. 

“Fine,” He groaned, “But I deserve a reward.”

“Really and what kind of reward are you thinking of?”

“You.”

“Mhm?”

“On my face.” 

“...Get out of my house Jeon Jungkook!”

“I didn’t hear a no!” He impishly called over his shoulder as he headed for your bedroom, retrieving and dressing in the clothes you had laid out for him the night before. 

You buried your face in your hands as your skin heated up with shame and another feeling you refused to recognize. Jeon Jungkook was going to be the death of you if he didn’t leave that very minute. 

Luckily for you, the rest of your shared morning went by without further incident. The sanctity of your kitchen was unsullied by his frankly ravenous sex drive that certainly had come out of the blue. 

Unlike last week. 

“Baby, where’s my kiss goodbye?” He called from the door after slipping on his shoes. 

And like the good wife that you were, you met him at the door, smoothed down the collar of his shirt and the front of his jacket, and popped up onto your toes to give him a kiss. Jungkook has many traits, but his most prominent one was that he never did anything halfway. But even with this knowledge you were still startled by the touch of his fingers to your jaw and the way he tilted your head, deepening the kiss in a way that was far too much this early in the morning. 

And then he gave you that smirk of his, that mischievous smile with a quirk of one of his dark eyebrows after leaving you absolutely breathless. 

“I love you, I’ll be thinking of you all day. And, don’t forget about my reward,” He said with a playful wiggle of his eyebrows before you were shoving him out the door and slammed it shut behind him. 

By all means, your morning had gone normally, just the way it had for the past few weeks since you had officially moved into the apartment as Jungkook’s wife. You had no inkling or hint of an idea that today would be any different. 

But it was the little things that you hadn’t even thought of that pushed you over the edge. 

Your throat had been a little sore that morning so you decided that you wanted some tea to soothe the ache. So you decided to put the kettle on and in the meantime, you put the TV on for background noise to fill the silence of a too-big apartment without Jungkook. 

You had no way of knowing that a major news story had broken that same morning. 

“After she went missing ten years ago, Cho Minji has finally been found,” The reporter’s voice echoed out from the flat screen. 

“While the story is still progressing we have learned of what happened in her ten years of captivity. Miss Cho had been stalked by an ex-boyfriend for four years after they had broken up and in those four years, he had made extensive plans as to how he was going to hold Miss Cho captive for the rest of their lives. 

Deranged notes expressing his undying love for her were recovered from the home alongside pictures and videos that he collected during their relationship and during Miss Cho’s captivity. Miss Cho claimed that she was held against her will while her captor vehemently disagreed claiming that she came willingly. Evidence suggests that Miss Cho was indeed kidnapped from her childhood home and drugged repeatedly over the duration of her captivity to keep her sedated and agreeable. During this time she planned to gain her captor’s trust and in a ten-year plan, she finally succeeded and escaped - flagging down a passing car and making her way to the authorities. More on this incredible story will come as the case continues to unfold.” 

A horrible, nauseating feeling was churning deep in your gut, one that had you leaning against the back of the couch for support. But the final push was the kettle, a sharp whistle from the kitchen striking you harder than any hit you had ever taken. In seconds you were transported back to that night and in a moment the rose-tinted glass was shattered. 

This wasn’t you. You weren’t some housewife, you and Jungkook weren’t really married, and you weren’t in love. You had fallen for his trap. You and Cho Minji were one and the same, the only difference was that she had much more mental fortitude than you did. She was successful. 

Your body was back to moving on its own, but this time you were running on adrenaline as your brain took the back seat. You were tearing the place apart, grabbing clothes and cash and whatever you could grab and stuffing it all into the first bag you could get your hands on. 

“Hurry, faster, you need to run as far as you can before Jungkook get’s back. Oh god, what would he do if he found you?” Your brain was practically screaming at you, a whirlwind of anxiety and fear sweeping you up as you stumbled out of the door alone for the first time since you had been taken by Jungkook. 

You had no plan as to where you were going to go, only the thought that you needed to flee and you needed to do it now or you would never see another opportunity like this one arise. It was now or never. 

You felt like you were doing something wrong, something that was forbidden or perverted as you rushed through the busy city sidewalks. It was a horrible cocktail of emotions, to be so frightened and confused at the same time. You had become accustomed to life with Jungkook, leaving felt wrong and right at the same time.

But the more you pushed on the more you realized you had nowhere to go. You couldn’t go to your parent's house, that would be the first place that he would check. And your friends, well you didn’t really have friends anymore and even if you did you wouldn’t want to put them in harm's way either. You knew what Jungkook was capable of, hell you had witnessed it firsthand. 

But it was also so unbelievable that hands that could squeeze someone’s life out of them could be so kind, gentle, and caring towards you. This clarity you had been thrust into was so confusing and startling that you felt like a crazed person wandering the streets. 

You were at a loss as to what to do, especially as the adrenaline began to slowly wear off, your body crashing from the sudden influx of hormones.

At the end of the day, you really had nowhere to go, nowhere to go but to him. 

You weren’t sure how far you had made it from the apartment, your feet leading you to a park bench which you collapsed against, dropping your bag to the concrete pathway. 

What was wrong with you? Why weren’t you running for the hills? What the fuck were you doing? 

You sat there, dazed and utterly confused as you anxiously bounced your knee. There were so many thoughts rushing through your head that you were struggling to focus on the task at hand. You needed to make a plan, you needed to figure out what your next move was. The longer you stayed there contemplating the more time you lost to escape. 

Jungkook was very quiet about his friends and his life outside of you, but he had dropped hints before that his “friends” weren’t the greatest people. Of course you had met Taehyung and Jimin and they had no problem revealing their twisted nature to you. And you had met Yoongi on several occasions enough to know that he was just as obsessive as Jungkook was. But there were others, other that both Yoongi and Jungkook were reluctant to talk about, their eyes always shifting to you when the topic would come up - a promise that they would talk later when you weren’t present. 

Even if you decided to leave now, hopped on the nearest bus and rode it to the end of its route, you had no doubt that they would come for you. Taehyung and Jimin would be there without question and you very clearly remembered Jimin’s gleeful threats to you months ago. But the others, the ones that were far more dangerous would certainly join as well and that was a thought that shook you to your very core. 

Your panicked thoughts only became worse as time stretched on, your brain reminding you when Jungkook leaves work and how much time you had left to either leave or go back before he found out you were gone. 

You couldn’t believe you would even think about going back but you were. Jungkook had been good to you hadn’t he? He let you have a relationship with your family again, he had pulled the two of you out of the isolation of the woods, you didn’t have to see his family anymore, and he showered you with unrestricted affection and praise. He loved you didn’t he? He said it every day and never let you forget it. He wasn’t a good person but he wasn’t a bad person either - he too was irrevocably changed and damaged by his horrible family, you couldn’t blame him for that you don’t get to choose what family you’re born into. 

You were wrenched out of your spiraling thoughts but the sudden vibration of your phone. Despite your fear you checked the caller ID anyways and your stomach lurched as his name lit up the screen: Jungkook. 

He had gotten off of work early. 

You watched in fright as the call went to voicemail before he tried again, and again, and again, and again. The calls never stopped, one after the other they rolled in like a stubborn storm. 

You were really screwed now, he was home and he knew that you were gone. The frantic mess you had left behind had to have told him enough - that you had grabbed what you could and fled. So now you had to make a choice - run with nowhere to go, or return back to the eyes of the hurricane. You knew what Jungkook was like when he was angry - it was a deadly type of calm that was a precursor to unbridled rage. 

Your hands shook as you tapped your voicemail, whatever was there would help you make your decision. 

There was static for a moment, and then his voice. 

“Baby? Where are you? Call me back right away, okay?” He was surprisingly calm but there was a touch of fear to his words. 

“This isn’t funny, please just answer your phone, I need to know that you’re safe or I’m going to go crazy, please just call me.” 

Each message became more and more desperate until you got to the most recent one. This one was by far the worst. You could hear him crying and struggling to breathe and even dry heaving like he was so distraught he was going to empty his stomach. 

“Please tell me where you are, please baby I’m begging you, I can’t live without you I need you,” He was sobbing hysterically into the phone, “Please come home, please don’t leave me here alone,” 

In your time with Jungkook you had come to learn something about yourself, you couldn’t stand to hear or see him cry. It broke you down in a way that was indescribable. It always took you back to those days where he was broken and despondent after his father had died. Those days where he needed you to care for him because no one else could. You understood what crushing loneliness felt like and you were empathetic to him to a fault. 

Before you realized you were doing it, you were back at the front door - the skin of your cheeks tight from dried tears you had shed when you realized several uncomfortable truths. 

You had nowhere to run to

You didn’t have the strength to leave him

You were in love with him, your kidnapper

Just like Jungkook couldn’t live without you, you could no longer live without him. He had infected you with love, the roots of his carnal desire burrowing deep under your skin and penetrating your heart. 

You had delivered a single knock to the door before it was ripped open - he had been waiting there that entire time. He had given you the chance to return on your own before he had sent them out to find you. 

A choked sob parted his pretty lips before he pulled you into a crushing embrace, collapsing onto the floor with you in his lap. The skin around his eyes and nose were pink, his cheeks glistening with tears as he pressed desperate kisses to your forehead and cheeks, his hand running over your hair like you were his long lost lover returned. 

“Why did you leave me?” He whimpered, sniffling as he attempted to stop his tears. 

You knew you couldn’t tell him the truth so you did what you had learned to do best, you lied. 

“I’m so sorry, Kook. My mother called and said it was an emergency, I didn’t even think I just grabbed what I could and left but I was coming back.” You calmly explained, cupping his cheeks tenderly and wiping away his tears. 

“I thought you were gone, I thought you weren’t coming back. I don’t want to be alone, I can’t be alone,” His words rushed out, like he couldn’t hold himself together and needed to say everything he could before he collapsed. 

“I’m not leaving you, Kook. I love you.” 

“Promise me you’ll never leave me, please I need to hear you say it,” He begged, pressing his forehead against your own. 

There was a beat of silence before you spoke, your mind trying to warn you one last time not to make a stupid decision. But in the end, the heart tends to triumph. 

“I promise, I’ll never leave you.”

You weren’t Cho Minji, you had no incredible story to tell and nowhere to escape to. 

You weren’t Cho Minji, you were in love. 

Want to read the main series? Click here to read part one!

[booasaur]

Pinned post - F/F Fic Recs

  Anonymous asked:

Hi, I've see you saying that you're reading a lot of fic lately and I was wondering if you could rec some? I so trust your taste and I think we have so many fandons in common...

Hiya! So first, what I was reading over the summer were some new fandoms that I'm still mulling over. Those ships and fics, I'm not ready to recommend anything for, I'll come back to them later.

As you know, I find it hard to pick out faves and recommend things but coincidentally, some time back, when I hadn't read fics for years, I decided to see which I could easily remember. It’s not close to being an exhaustive list, I just noted down whatever came to me over a few hours, and almost all are pretty old, often from my first go-around in each fandom, but it’s a fair number. I've read other great ones that might not be as easily remembered for any number of reasons, like if I was in a particular frame of mind or if I read too many good ones at once so none really stood out, if I read them in between other things going on in life, etc. These ones slotted into the ole memory bank but that doesn't say anything about those left off.

I'm not sure how many of these are fandoms you're into, but when I'm in a real fic-reading mood I'll often try fandoms I don't know, so hopefully you can still give some of them a shot. I tried to organize by fandom though they're mostly in the order I remembered them, so it's not alphabetical or fave first--though it did end up being pretty chronologically backwards. I was literally going back through the years and I don't think I've read some of the anime ones in like, more than a decade? And while for my own list, I often was like oh, all of that author's fics for this ship and would know what I meant, here I tried to narrow it down to one fic per author, since it can be hard to know where to start, but definitely give their other fics a try if you liked that one.

Added a cut for length. All stories are f/f and complete unless specified. As I go through some of these, let me come back here to add that it’s worth keeping in mind as you read these that they are products of their time, some more than a decade ago. 

Gilmore Girls - Paris/Rory

The Best Of It - by dollsome - 74k words » Canon, fake dating, set after the original series (so ignoring A Year in the Life). To win a point on a talk show, Paris announces she's dating Rory. It's incredibly in voice and matches the show vibe so it's just so funny and sweet and just a plain delight. It's what actually made me create this list, I was idly wondering what else I'd read that brought me this much joy.  

Boston Marriage - by Jae - 5k words » Canon, college years, Paris has a proposal. The first fic for this ship I read, I think? Where I was like, oh, so it’s possible to be that in voice and replicate everything about a show even as distinct as this one. One of the ship’s classics (and being from 2005, just a f/f classic overall?).    

The Unbearable Weirdness of Being - by klynkey - 3k words » Canon, assumed high school years, Rory and Paris get into a debate. After having read the one above, I found this soon after and was like, okay, is everyone able to easily replicate that Gilmore Girls patter? (No.) Another ship classic.

Agents of Shield - Bobbi/Jemma

To Keep My Wolves From Your Door - by pirateygoodness - 41k words » Werewolf AU, so elaborate and for a ship so relatively rare, I’m not sure how this exists but I’m glad it does. It’s got some plot, a sweet romance, smut with feelings, just a rewarding read every time I go back to it, which is pretty often. Given my main audience, I’ll mention there are some flashbacks to Bobbi and her ex husband but that didn’t affect my enjoyment at all.  

Soulmate AUs (just chapter 2) - by alittleunstable - 3k words » Canon, cute little soulmate AU, which I’m always a sucker for. 

Star Trek Voyager - Janeway/Seven of Nine

Where the Dream Takes You - by nejvit - 27k words » Canon, one of the tamer getting together Trek setups, more introspective rather than caused by some alien tomfoolery, but I really like how it handles the very commonly featured J/7 conflict of Janeway dating someone in her crew. It is a bit dense but I found the character and dynamic exploration so insightful and interesting. When I first read J/7 fics years ago (in the late ‘00s), this author’s fics didn’t particularly stand out but when I came back to the fandom more recently, they were among my very favorite.  

The Rod and the Staff - by Trek in Tandem - 13k words » Canon, deals with the aftermath of an existing ep where Janeway went on a mission and ran into trouble. The religious stuff comes across as more the writer playing with the episode’s actual religious references than anything heavy-handed so I found it easily ignorable. Really great, clean prose, one of the writers who always stuck out to me for that.    

Not Just Strip Poker - by Pink Rabbit Productions - 15k words » Canon, a funny, lighter piece that definitely starts out as full comedy, after a misunderstanding, but there’s some deceptively interesting discussion later on in this one too.

Stargate SG-1 - Janet/Sam

Bits and Pieces series - by Pink Rabbit Productions - 278k words, WIP » Canon, this series integrates Sam/Janet into the first season of the show and I don't think it was ever finished, and the last one especially was left on a cliffhanger, but the rest of the “episodes” are worth the read. Also, when I put this down for my own list, I just said "Pink Rabbit's Sam/Janet stuff", because I remember going through all of them at some point, the stuff outside this series was fun too, and if this full incomplete series is too daunting, definitely some of the one-shots might be more fun.

The Devil Wears Prada - Andy/Miranda

Truth and Measure - by Telanu - 272k words » Canon, diverges from the end of the movie as Andy decides to stay with Miranda. What even is there to say about this one? A true f/f classic, has been in the top three of my general f/f recs for more than a decade and still holds up. Just a perfect continuation of the movie, same world, same characters, continuing growth and development of characters and dynamics, a true believable slow burn romance. And the author’s published it without taking down the fic. :)

Facts of Life - Jo/Blair

Ribbon - by Della Street - 15k words » Canon, diverging in the college years. This is the first of her fics I read for this pair and I fell in love with her writing. Back in an era when a lot of authors started off with lots of exposition and setting up the scenario, I was so impressed by how quickly and easily she did her worldbuilding and character development, and how in-voice and and close to the show everyone was. Definitely recommend going through the rest of her Jo/Blair fics.

Birds of Prey (2002) - Barbara/Helena

And Another Thing - by fembuck - 12k words » Canon, a straightforward getting together fic, things come to a head after Helena starts pulling away. After seeing which of the fics I remember best and like most here, I think I really just favor a great execution of a simple premise. And because this is fembuck, whose fic was a load bearing pillar of f/f fandom, there’s a nice balance of humor and angst with the romance.    

An Empirical Question - by harper_m - 30k words » Canon, an accidental fake dating situation spins out into something much more. In a funny coincidence, the same things I said about fembuck apply to harper_m, such a significant contributor to f/f fic over the years (see also this older archive account). This fic is again mostly a well done exploration of the characters and their dynamic if suddenly an explicitly romantic layer was added to canon.

Skins - Effy/Katie

An Imperfection in an Otherwise Perfect Plan - by harper_m - 21k words » WW1 AU, they’re nurses in the army. As with the Mockingnerd werewolf AU above, I’m surprised that for such a rare ship, there’s such a specific (and good) AU, but definitely not complaining. It feels that much nicer to find a true gem in such a tiny collection.    

fate is overgrown - by thememoriesfire - 53k words » Post-series, years later, Katie’s in a rut and stumbles into Effy again. I do find it funny that I have no Glee rec from TMF and instead went for the Skins fic that isn’t even transatlanticism but I really love this one, to the point where there were a couple of months where I just reread it constantly, even downloading my own version to fix formatting and typos. It’s almost slice of life, as Katie and Effy find themselves surprisingly healing together, after their fraught history. 

The Sarah Connor Chronicles - Sarah/Cameron

Resistance - by Anklebones - 120k words, WIP » Canon, diverges from season 2 as Cameron continues to glitch. Like a lot of the good Sarah/Cameron fics, this is a great dissection of AI and sentience and what it means to be human and have free will. I mean, within a great story, not just characters debating. It’s not finished but I really like what’s been written so far.   The author also has a three-part complete fic where Sarah and Cameron are already in a messy thing and then have to confront some things when there’s an attack at school: Just Another day in Paradise… 1 2 3 (19k words).    

No Rest for the Wicked - by InspectorBoxer - 172k words, WIP » Firefly AU, River Tam takes the place of Cameron while Sarah’s a new character to the universe. This is such a fun blend of the two universes and the romance is such a good slow build. As with most of the WIPs I’m linking, there’s enough to really enjoy even if not complete yet.

Once Upon a Time - Emma/Regina

The Secret's in the Telling - by pyrophoric - 250k words » Canon, set pretty early on but where Emma and Regina are at least nominally getting along. Things are set into motion when a mysterious thief shows up and keeps bullying Emma. This is one of my favorite iterations of their dynamic, with long-suffering secretly fond Regina and hapless too-earnest Emma.    

You do not have to walk on your knees - by dollsome - 10k words » Canon, mid-season 2, Regina and Emma learning to get along. As is dollsome’s specialty, a lot of character work and humor. Also would recommend Teenage ... Dream? (12k words), where Regina gets like...kind of emotionally aged down? You’ll see. The premise sounds cracky but again, the character exploration and humor and sweetness. :)

Once Upon a Time - Aurora/Mulan

a story, a tale - by maleficently - 27k words » AU where it’s Maleficent who casts the original curse on Aurora and her true love, not Regina on Snow and Charming. This is so fun because you can see all the similarities and differences in how the story unfolds compared to the show, including flashbacks to the fairy tale world before the curse is cast.    

Object Permanence - by badlance - 18k words » Canon, after Aurora and Phillip have made it to Storybrooke. Aurora’s still furious at Mulan for leaving them to go off with Robin Hood, but suddenly something happens to Mulan and Aurora can’t stop thinking about her. It starts off an interesting look at Aurora and how someone acclimatizes to the real world after Fairy Tale Land so like, therapy, jobs, but it’s quite romantic and sweet in the end.   Also Could Have Been A Year (5k words) and its sequel Bear It Out Even to the Edge (17k words), where Mulan learns the price of staying away from Aurora and gives up everything to make sure Aurora’s okay.

Wicked - Elphie/Glinda

Gelphie Trilogy: 1. Easier Said Than Done 2. Inevitabilities & Eventualities 3. Possibilities and Certainties - by mecelphie - 3.8m words » Rape trigger warning for the very first chapter: Elphie suffers a violent attack and much of the first story is her healing from that, though the other two stories also occasionally bring up the lingering effects on Elphie.     Back when I read it, the first story had some typos, missing punctuation and the like, that might also make it hard for some to get into it, but the world really unfolds into something incredibly rich and rewarding. Note that full series word count, it IS that detailed and extensive a story, almost slice of life, except for the precipitating event and things like homophobia and when Elphie's background is tackled. I haven't actually finished it yet, I pause every once in a while till I have a large chunk of chapters and then reread from the start and get sucked in anew each time.    

The Thrill, Basis Determined - by Ridiculous Mavis - 24k words » Bookverse, just delightful, beautifully written fluff. Everything this writer writes is beautiful. The further down I go on this list the less restraint I feel in linking multiple stories by the same author, so of her other Gelphie fics, I'll also specifically rec The Way Out of Myself (22k words), bookverse bodyswap with Avaric and Elphie where they both learn something about the other and Invitations Under False Pretences (27k words, WIP), bookverse fake dating, it's not marked as complete but it doesn't leave you hanging, if you know what I mean.    

The Week of Ill Repute - by Chudley Cannon - 37k words, WIP » Bookverse again, which, I don't prefer them over musicalverse, it's just worked out that I've remembered (liked?) these fics best. This one I remember from my very first Gelphie fic-reading tour and thinking, wow, this is so good. It never updated after that and I believe it actually does leave you hanging, but I mean, you specifically remember a fic more than 10 years later, it's gotta be on the list, right?

The Bletchley Circle - Millie/Susan

In the Blackout - by RidiculousMavis - 11k words » Canon, set during the Bletchley years, Susan’s just arrived and meets Millie, her flighty and irreverent roommate. A wonderful look at how they start to get along after their personalities and keen minds first clash.    

Clerical Work - by Kivrin - 3k words » Canon, also set during Bletchley, Susan tries to figure out her feelings the way she would a code and then things fall into place in a surprising way. Relatively short but I loved the sharp little characterizations of the main four, including Jean.

Legend of the Seeker - Cara/Kahlan

All the Days - by tcbg77 - 67k words » Post-series, some years after, everything seems to be going well until Richard and Kahlan’s child is kidnapped. Cara, now Richard’s general, sets off with Kahlan to rescue the child. I love the pacing of this one, the length allowing for a full quest and a slow burn, and combined with the well-written action makes it seem like a fantasy story with romance on its own. I basically treat it as exactly that and reread every few years.    

Within My Heart There Is Another Heart - by badlance and pirateygoodness - 26k words » Post-series as well, magic pregnancy. This is pretty in a way that makes my heart ache. i was surprised to see it was 26k words, since it feels so much longer and shorter than that at the same time.

The 100 - Clarke/Lexa

Within Me An Invincible Summer - by badlance - 62k words » Canon post-s2, Clarke gets over her anger at Lexa. One of the many great fics written during the hiatus, I’d put off reading it when I first got into the ship, during the start of s3, wanting to focus on what was canon at the time. And then of course 307 happened and I moved even farther away from canon, but this fic, its two-line summary, it showed up again and again in rec lists and bookmarks and was so haunting at the time, you know, seasons and people not changing, but finally I caved, and it was as wonderful as it had promised to be.    

Love on the Ground - by hedaswolf - 19k words » Also canon post-s2, taking the s3 knife scene from the trailer and again spinning it into eventual forgiveness. There’s a bit in it that is one of my favorite moments in fic ever.     

they take their shots but we're bulletproof - by nightshifted - 10k words » Again, canon post-s2, it’s like a whole genre of amazing fics just within one fandom, all the more precious for how that all turned out in canon. Like Within Me An Invincible Summer above, I couldn’t bear to read it for a long time but I knew it was one of the classics, I’d seen it pass by my dash very early on because of our shared Glee past. And yeah, it was very good, like all these post-s2 fics, allowed to be a little rougher and harsher because they didn’t yet know how much comforting the ship and fandom would need.    

More Women than Warriors - by steklir - 172k words » Boarding school AU, new American student Clarke arrives at a British boarding school where Lexa’s the Head Girl. I don’t know what was going through the author’s mind when they were writing this but given the timing and content, it felt like an extremely low stakes and ultimately fluffy take on these two kids. There’s a lot of the show’s language and customs worked into this school, so that only adds to the impression, but in the end I’ll remember this for being a rewarding sloooowwww burn and really flowery, pretty writing.    

Stud: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, Pride - by coeurdastronaute - 61k words » Modern AU, Clarke’s a teacher and Lexa’s a CEO. Really plays into the effortlessly cool Stud!Lexa thing that was going around at the time, but tbh, she was confident but nice, so I liked it. coeurdastronaute tends to write most chapters as self-contained, so it’s more like a string of connected stories than one long narrative. They’re super prolific and have a lot of stories I liked, I picked Stud as the one I remembered first, and then grabbed a few of the other more memorable ones, all modern AUs: Strip:  1, 2, 3 (10k words) -  Lexa gets a lapdance HSAU (37k words) - College AU, I’m kidding, high school AU Heart: 1, 2, 3, Thanksgiving (30k words) -  Lexa’s a heart transplant patient at the hospital where Clarke works    

Aftermath - by MaraudingTurkey - 8k words » Canon, diverging from the middle of s2, Clarke accidentally courting Lexa. It’s super charming and cute (and because of how early it was written, avoids a lot of the angst to come).    

Prompts Collection: Clexa - by nutalexfanfic - 114k words (as of 2022-12-30) » Lots of various short stories with all kinds of premises, canon and AUs. The author has several popular longer stories going as well, but they’re at various levels of completion and I actually remember really liking of the one-shots here. If interested in the longer ones, the firefighter AU Polis 433 (131k words, WIP) is quite popular, and I think the first one I read was the Olympic AU Individual Medley (95k words, WIP).    

Abby Doesn't Ask - by onlyasdark - 3k words » Canon, some vague point past 307 where Lexa doesn’t die, short vignettes in Abby’s POV. A great example of an external perspective on a ship, because you get deliberately limited glimpses, and in this case especially colored by Abby’s not exactly positive feelings about Lexa, but despite all that, the relationship shines through.    

The Library - by ethiobird - 55k words » College AU, they work at a bar (called The Library). I think what drew me to this one is that the Lexa characterization is more stoic than you often see in modern AUs, especially high school or college. I’ve ended up liking a lot of different takes on her but as much as it’s obviously nigh impossible to recreate the circumstances that created canon Lexa, I do have a particular fondness for that version so I like any fic that approaches it.    

although i'm not making plans (i hope you understand there's a reason why) - by brokendevil - 6k words » Modern AU, friends with benefits but secretly in love. The kind of second person fic that really lets you wallow in the angst before the rewarding payoff. The author has several other popular works, especially a year of sundays (98k words), a small town AU, but this one just stuck in my mind.   

To the Victor Go the Spoils - by exfactor - 11k words » College AU, Clarke and Lexa’s sororities are locked in a fierce competition. The author has some other very popular (and angstier) works but this one’s cute and fun as hell.    

the business of caring - by coldmackerel - 72k words » College AU, pretty much a workplace comedy set at campus police. Someone’s painting graffiti masterpieces all over the place and as the head of campus police it’s Lexa’s job (she thinks) to catch the culprit. This author is so good at humor, and also can be really poignant at times, like in it's called contraband for a reason (54k words), a jumbled up timeline of the two in prison. I’m told the canon amnesia fic is quite good but I’ve not yet felt emotionally up to it.    

The 300 - by Bucklethorpe - 66k words » Modern AU, Clarke accidentally burns down 300 of Lexa’s trees. This starts off as a bit of a joking take on canon, and is laugh out loud funny the whole way through, but also quite sweet. Definitely a frequent reread.    

sworn under an oath - by faithtastic - 14k words » Canon, diverges from 307, smut with feelings but the feelings are so good. This authors probably far more famous work is don't wanna be your girl (105k words), with one-shot extras and even AUs, in which Clarke is a porn star, and that is funny and hot, but this fix-it so soon after ep 307 will always be a particular balm.    

beat the devil's tattoo - by isawet - 53k words » Modern AU, they’re in college but Lexa’s secretly actually planning to take back the leadership of her small country. They fall in love anyway and it’s funny, hot, sweet, romantic, just a great well-written story with excellent reread value.    

Your Heart On My Sleeve - by aredpen - 58k words, WIP » Soulmate-marking AU set in canon, if that makes sense. Starts when Clarke’s still up in the Ark and it’s just an interesting exploration of how it all would work in those circumstances. I love the little details and insight into what would change and how.     

AGAINST THE MULTIVERSE - orphaned - 13k words » Modern AU, art student Clarke reads an article Lexa wrote and fires off an angry response, starting a correspondence. Despite not being particularly long or having a unique premise, I remember this one because the writing’s so confident and sure of what it wants to be. It feels like a lot of fics--most writing in general, really, tends to flatten itself to not stand out and it was nice to read something so strong.  

To Wear it Like a Crown - by Laney_builds_cathedrals - 42k words, WIP » Teacher/student, kinda, and definitely an age gap, so don’t read if that’s not your thing. Clarke’s the new art therapist at a school for troubled kids and realizes things aren’t quite right. It hasn’t been updated in years but the writing is just gorgeous and I couldn’t leave it off, it’ll always have a place in my lists.    

Remember Me. - by C_AND_B - 11k words » Amnesia AU, they were in a relationship and then Clarke gets in an accident. God, the perfect mix of angst and fluff. This writer has a bunch of adorable one-shots, so check the rest out too.     

tear down the walls - by wariangle - 5k words » Modern AU, Lexa’s an MMA fighter but it’s not really about that, just Clarke falling for her. Extremely hot in a very matter of fact way, but also plenty of feelings involved.    

five times clarke and lexa aren’t sure if they're a couple or not - by nutmeg101 - 8k words » College AU, everyone keeps on thinking Clarke and Lexa are together. They’re not so sure they aren’t. It’s cute! I mean, it’s exactly what a fic like this should be.    

Help, I Need Somebody (Not Just Anybody) - by thesummerofrain - 92k words, WIP » College AU, Clarke volunteers at the college helpline, Lexa writes in. It’s an anonymous line, so no worries about weird tracking or anything like that, things just organically progress so that they meet and slowly become friends. It’s mellow in general and includes lots of slice of life moments with other people as well, and of course the romance is slow burn as heck.

Maleficent - Aurora/Maleficent

The Queen of Sunshine and Bright Things - by alittlelesspain (oprhaned) - 31k words » Canon, after the first movie, Aurora has to learn how to rule while Maleficient has to learn what her place in Aurora’s life is now. Through time skips, distance, and political crises, they relearn how much they still mean to each other. It’s beautiful and romantic and a great fic for those who wanted their connection from the movie to go further.

Glee - Quinn/Rachel

This Kiss - by poetzproblem - 141k words » Canon, set in s2, starting from a game of spin the bottle. Rachel and Quinn are shaken by their kiss and Quinn especially doubles down on her mean girl persona. Faberry’s had a lot of great fics and I’ve loved so many but I remember thinking while reading this one that this is probably how it would go, if it ever happened. It’s patient and takes its time and is one of my definitive fics for them.     Also the Don’t Blink series (788k words as of 2023-01-13) is this expansive, ever-growing universe set after graduation. I haven’t read it all, but I’ve reread some of the earlier parts many times, for the super rewarding payoff to them realizing their feelings are mutual, and others finding out about them.    

A Family of Trees - by powergrapes - 8k words » Canon, diverging after s1, Quinn keeps Beth. Rachel’s somehow the only one the baby will calm down for and Quinn is reluctantly forced to call on her for help. It’s sweet and funny, my favorite from this writer but they’ve written several great fics, most popular being Head Full of Doubt, Road Full of Promise ( 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 - 60k words), a real Faberry classic, where to cheer up Quinn up after giving up Beth, the club goes on a road trip.     

Summer Mornings (oldest chapters at bottom) - by freshtilapia - 35k words » Canon, post-s1, we follow Rachel every morning of her summer vacation as she sees Quinn pass by on her daily run. Slowly they begin to hang out and bond. I think this was one of my first Faberry fics? I was a late bloomer, it took me a while to see their potential, but I really loved how authors saw their post-s1 dynamic and this was a super cute, endearing version of it.    

Boats in the Sky - by WaveGoodbye - 39k words » Canon, diverging after s3, now both in college, Rachel and Quinn are actually friends. Such good friends that Quinn’s roommate thinks maybe there’s something more. As with Clexa above, it’s so interesting how much character dynamics and fandom attitudes change depending on when a fic is written, because unlike the tension in s1 or s2 fics or Quinn being strung so tight with internalized homophobia, now she’s chill, they’re getting along. I love seeing a fic starting with them as friends, plus, a good chunk of it is external POV, which is a fave.    

Our Brilliantly Tangled Thanksgiving - by Elly-Bells - 4k words » Canon, diverging from s1, Quinn has kept Beth--actually, kind of AU too, because her parents are super nice here as well. But it’s just a super fluffy, super cute funny little fic. The author has a fair number of other fluffy fics of varying length to check out as well.    

Crazy on You -  by roxystyle011 - 82k words » Canon, futurefic written early on, Rachel’s a big celebrity now but gets into trouble and is court ordered to see a therapist, who turns out to be Quinn. This is written so early on I’m not sure if people would consider it the most in-character fic out there, though what is in-character when it comes to Glee, but it’s bold and fun and, as with the Clexa multiverse fic above, I just like when people take big swings with characters. There’s a moment near the end of the fic, when a certain page is turned, that still remains one of my favorite, most memorable reveals in fic to this day.

Dune - Chani/Irulan

Serendipity - by Tamoline - 26k words » Canon divergent, Duke Leto survives and Irulan ends up living in the Atreides household as a guest, while Paul is openly with Chani. When Irulan is called off world to testify, Paul sends Chani as her bodyguard. I’m always so grateful that I picked that year to randomly go through the f/f Yuletide entries because this is such a good fic and I could so easily have missed it completely. It’s got politics, action, enemies to lovers, just this great little novella that happens to be set in the world of Dune. It’s fics like this that have me going through the lesser kudosed out there because it’s a genuine fave.

Marvel - Carol Danvers/Jessica Drew

Smell Like I Sound - by Sineala - 7k words » Comicsverse, Carol meets Jess who’s great except Carol can’t shake an unpleasant feeling whenever she’s around. Mostly fluff surrounding the concept of pheromones.    

He Picked the Wrong One - by beckydawolf - 34k words » Comicsverse, Carol and Jess are knocked out in a battle and wake up in an alternate universe where most things are similar, except that Carol is dead and there’s no Jess. They have to figure out what happened and why they were brought there and certain feelings come to light. It’s plotty and fun and the reveal of why they were brought to the alt universe is actually pretty great.    

put them back in poetry (if only I knew how) - by singalellaby - 31k words » Coffee shop AU, Carol and Steve Rogers are best friends and come back from the army to open a bakery together. It’s a lot of slice of life stuff, making friends in the neighborhood, developing crushes on the regulars like one Jessica Drew, grad student, that kind of thing.

Teen Wolf - Allison/Lydia

Untitled - by elvesarebad - 13k words » Canon, post-s2, after recent reveals they’re no longer friends but Lydia asks Allison to help kill Peter. It’s angsty, a lot of raw edges and slow thawing of their frosty relationship in the middle of difficult circumstances, but the canon characters and friendship are so interesting and the writer captures that.

Bleach - Soi Fan/Yoruichi

The Art of Transformation - by siyentista - 30k words  » Mangaverse, mostly, Soi Fan is injured during a big battle and Yoruichi realizes how much Soi Fan means to her. Despite an action-filled start, it settles into more of a slower character-centric fic, lighter and often comical. Given their canon relationship, it’s refreshing to see the dynamic be more mutual and balanced, and despite the relatively short length, the story feels satisfyingly built up (perhaps because of how much history they already have in canon?).

Brooklyn Nine-Nine - Amy/Rosa

Farm-to-Table, Non-GMO, Responsibly Sourced - by impertinence - 6k words » Canon, going undercover as a couple to bust a maple syrup heist ring. I mean, what more is there to say, except that it’s appropriately funny and cute.     

Margin of Error - by idiopathicsmile - 8k words » Canon, Amy needs a place to stay and Rosa offers. The humor matches the show so well, and it’s great to see Rosa’s POV since she’s so deadpan.

Les Misérables - Cosette/Eponine

Any More Obvious - by idiopathicsmile - 2k words » High school AU, Cosette decides to befriend the school goth. It’s just sweet and cute.    

This Longing I Inherit - by myrmidryad - 44k words » College AU, Marius starts dating Cosette and brings her into the friend group. Cosette’s so shy and sheltered, she’s thrilled to meet new people, including the cool and intimidating Eponine. As they all become closer, Eponine realizes maybe she’s crushing on her friend’s gf. It’s much more gentle and sweet and friendship-focused than how soapy and angsty this description makes it sound, and the length allows it a slower burn. A frequent reread, especially to get to the payoff.     

she knows her way around - by lavendersgreen - 18k words » College AU, Marius is too nervous to talk to Cosette so Eponine, pining after him, volunteers to be their go-between. Cosette turns out to be surprisingly fun and as they become friends, Eponine starts to question some things about herself. The premise is already cute with even a but the characterizations and dialogue are so snappy and flow so easily, it’s a great execution of this trope.    

to be loved and to be in love - by missandrogyny - 7k words  » Soulmate-marking AU, they’re musical artists who meet at a concert and immediately get along. They start challenging each other to try songs outside their main genres, much to their fans’ excitement. The soulmate reveal is pretty satisfying as it’s seeded early, and the whole fic is sweet and cute.

The Lizzie Bennet Diaries - Gigi/Lydia

get loved, make more - by allthingsholy - 10k words » Post-series, Lydia feels uncomfortable around Gigi, given what they share in common and that everyone knows. In a series of vignettes over time, for each of the family events they meet up at, she slowly gets over it, given they have so many other things in common, including a love of gossip, fashion, and teasing their siblings. It’s a great character exploration and the writing’s so sharp and pretty.     

Searching For a Sound We Hadn't Heard Before - by Care - 13k words » Post-series, again things are uneasy at first but they thaw and the two end up taking a road trip. That’s a trope with a lot of potential, now that I’m thinking about it, the way people get to know each other under those very specific circumstances, and this is a great execution of it.    

from the dark with you above - by cairophoenix - 22k words » Post-series, again, an awkward meetup to slow friendship and in this case some prime pining afforded by the longer length. The strangers to friends to lovers pipeline just applies really well to these two, what can I say.    

Improvising - by krakens - 3k words » Post-series, some years after, Gigi decides to surprise Lizzy and Darcy with an epilogue posted on Lizzie’s vlog. She enlists Lydia’s help and things escalate. It’s cute and perfect for this particular series, it would have to be that vlog as the catalyst again.    

Candid - by rhymeswithblue - 5k words » Post-series, by simply hanging out with their famous siblings, Gigi and Lydia face some of the same online scrutiny. Again, I kind of love this aspect of a fic set in this world, because of course part it is that there’s a whole audience watching them and it influences them just as much they influence it.

She's the Man - Olivia/Viola

Loose Ends series - by fraidy_bat - 38k words » Post-movie, Olivia comes to terms with the fact that Sebastian isn’t Viola. By the time I was branching out and reading popular f/f fics many years ago, this was already a classic, both as a general f/f fic and in this particular fandom. One of those ships that makes so much sense, and this is an angsty but ultimately very rewarding take on what should have happened after the movie.

Tomb Raider (2013) - Lara/Sam

she traces your scars and rebuilds your world - by lescousinsdangereux - 18k words » Post-2013 game, Lara and Sam are still traumatized by what transpired on the island and lean heavily on each other, even as Lara heads off on another research mission. It’s a great character study at their PTSD but also building on the relationship from canon and sweet and romantic and funny. This was my definitive version of post-game canon, not the other games or the movie or the comics.

Game of Thrones - Margaery/Sansa

Keep the Bouquets series - by Netgirl_y2k - 7k words » Canon diverging...earlyish on, I don’t know the series, but most characters are still alive. Not thinking either’s worthy of Joffrey, the Lannisters arrange a marriage between Sansa and Margaery and they...make it work. Despite being relatively so short, each individual part under 3k words, they’re so effective, these two finding something in that brutal world.

St. Trinian's (2007) - Annabelle/Kelly

This Town We're Painting - by Fahye - 8k words » Post-movies, they’re an established couple, going about the not so normal lives of St. Trinian’s graduates. Funny and in the vein of the movies, bringing in many of the other former students, and solidifying the Annabelle/Kelly dynamic that seemed so full of potential.

Mai Hime - Natsuki/Shizuru

Inter Nos - by ethnewinter - 1.2m words, WIP » Ancient Rome AU, this very detailed, intricate story with all the Mai Hime characters, Shizuru’s a general and Natsuki’s assigned as her bodyguard during a visit to an allied kingdom. I’m gonna be honest, I haven’t read this in many, many years and definitely haven’t caught up, but even back then when it was a fraction of the size, it was already considered a classic. At this length, I feel like just reading what’s there is a reward in itself.

Kim Possible - Kim/Shego

Alone, Together - by Failte200 - 108k words » Canon, Kim and Shego accidentally get sent to an alternate dimension, same Earth, but no human. They have to get along to survive. Another f/f classic, I remember being much younger and the scale of the fic, the years they lived alone and grew older together, took my breath away.   

BSP01: Best Sidekick Possible - by Sobriety - 62k words » Canon, there's a King of Thieves competition and Shego wants the best sidekick possible, i.e., Kim. I think I ended up really liking the romance in this one.

Phoenix Wright - Adrian/Franziska

Follow the Fool - by CantFaketheFunk - 53k words » Canon, post-Phoenix Wright 2, Franziska feels guilty about advising Adrian to perjure herself so when Adrian asks to see her, she invites her to Germany to stay with her. The setting can be a bit goofy, as it is in the game, but the characters and relationship are taken seriously.

Sailor Moon - Haruka/Michiru

FwB - by harukaze - 321k words » AU, no powers, they meet as adults and decide to become friends with benefits. I remember this one Greyhound trip I took from NYC to Toronto, I was riveted to this fic and just read for most of the trip, wanting to see how it'd end. Soapy and angsty and very addicting.

Annnd then these two het fics:

The Big Bang Theory - Penny/Sheldon

The Paladin Protocol - by SpaceAnJL - 88k words » Canon, the guys take Penny LARPing and she ends up enjoying it, and bonding with Sheldon while Leonard feels left out. Very character driven slow burn romance while being funny and presumably true to the characters, I've not actually ever watched the show, but I've seen a few clips on Youtube. Just a great fic and one of the few m/f fics I've read more than once.

Star Trek (2009) - Spock/Uhura

The Place Between - by PsiCygni - 309k words » Canon, set before the movie, Uhura needs an advisor for her project and Commander Spock needs a partner while negotiating with a particular alien species. The only answer? Fake dating! Slowwww burn and since I like both the characters in all their forms, an enjoyable fic.

And ya know, however old some of these might be, if you liked them, think about leaving a nice review. I had a saved fic from a site that’d gone down and like, more than 10 years after it was written I sent an email to the address provided and actually got a reply! 

[utilitycaster]

you getting push back on that post is crazy to me isn't it enough to watch and get invested in something for what it is currently rather than what it will be? I have so many unfinished projects in my own life it'd be crazy to demand polished completion from everything I watch/read. my unfinished sketches and embroidery and abandoned dnd campaigns still brought joy and growth without having a polished thing to present at the end

So what's funny to me is like. I have referenced this before here and elsewhere but like, as a child, I was SO bad at ambiguous and sad endings and my mother was like, not unkind about this, but neither did she coddle it, and I think that laid a groundwork that was really necessary.

My tags, which got lost bc I did NOT expect that post to break containment, do actually touch on how Netflix and other streaming services canceling things to avoid paying people a fair wage fucking suck but yeah here's a list of creative endeavors I participated in or watched/listened to/read that do not as of this posting have endings and I still liked, and many of them aren't even directly attributable to capitalism because this is just a fact of life and art.

As mentioned, both A Song of Ice and Fire and the Kingkiller Chronicles.

Multiple D&D campaigns for sure (I actually don't make D&D characters without a game in mind and find it weird that people do and so I'm like why am I the one arguing for the beauty of the incomplete).

Multiple fics, both mine and others.

King Falls AM, a podcast I binged in like 2018-2019 and despite being a mystery never actually completed bc the creators couldn't agree.

I think Battlestar Galactica 2003 is one of the most brilliant shows of its era and also the finale, which happened when the creators intended it to, is really dumb, and that doesn't undo the fact that I loved everything else.

How I Met Your Mother ends really poorly in a way that arguably undercuts the whole series, but like, I still liked that too.

Ditto for Chuck, which also struggles in that it was on the chopping block most seasons so they kept ending in ways that probably weren't true to whatever the original vision may have been.

I saw Firefly on DVD after it had already been canceled, I think Serenity is good but I don't love all the choices, and Joss Whedon has since been revealed to be a dick but like, I enjoyed myself greatly while watching it.

As mentioned, Heroes. I didn't watch much TV until my teens anyway because we didn't have cable and our reception sucked and we were very much a book household, and this was one of the first series I recall watching from season 1 and it's also the first TV series where I was like yeah I don't care anymore, and it went on for 4 seasons and I think I gave up either late S2 or early S3.

I didn't watch Supernatural, Game of Thrones, nor Grey's Anatomy but all of those are famous for outstaying their welcome, sometimes it's better to burn out than fade away, etc.

I had already long outgrown Harry Potter and started to see its limitations by the time Rowling's transphobia became public but like, now it's not something I would ever recommend to my friends' kids or anything, and that doesn't undo the fact that I did greatly enjoy it as a child and teenager; it was indirectly the reason why I was introduced to the superior fantasy of Diana Wynne Jones, which I do still reread from time to time. (I think the "well I never liked it" mentality about works from artists who end up being terrible people is tied into the "I can't get invested in anything that might end in an unsatisfying manner." Tumblr University's media studies grads are not the brightest stars in the firmament, that's for sure.)

Like, cancellation (let alone cancellation specifically because of the unique shittiness of streaming services) is just one of the many reason things might end in a way you dislike or become difficult for you to enjoy at a later date, and that's just talking about television. Are you really going to deny yourself the joy of anticipation and watching a story unfold in real-time because the thought of something not satisfying you at every single turn is so unfathomable?

(oh, and because this is, as we know, a CR blog much of the time, I should add that this mentality is really pervasive which is wild because your average 3-season canceled Netflix show is probably the equivalent of maybe 9-10 CR episodes; thinking about how many people who now claim C2 is terrible watched 141 episodes and also the person who is iconic to me who unironically asked me what the point was in getting invested in characters who will die re: Chetney)

[trulybetty]

Sunday Week in Review IV

It has been a really weird week this week. One of those weeks where you don’t feel right but you’re not unwell, but you know you’re not yourself. That’s been me the entire week. As a result, I didn’t read or really do much - but I’m hoping this long weekend will get me out of my funk and back to some sense of normality - whatever that is these days lol 🙃

Truly Betty Updates This Week…

Sick Day (Marcus Pike x f!Reader)

Plans for Gold Rush: I recently had a re-read and got to have a really good conversation with @gnpwdrnwhiskey about Charlotte and Joel this week, and it really made me realize how much I miss them. So, my plan is to go back and have a good edit of what’s posted - (both my writing and editing style have changed and Gold Rush is wordy in places it has no business being). Going to take the next week or so to do that and get back to the story that brought me to this community and even if it’s me and three other people reading it, I don’t mind - because I love these characters and want to see it through ❤️ 

Fics I Enjoyed This Week…

Shared Breaths by @frenchiereading I think I’m up to chapter six on this now, as of this week, complete fanfic! It’s a cute read of Frankie enrolling his daughter into Readers school and two having a magnetic back and forth that they can’t act upon until Frankie’s daughter is no longer in Readers class (boo school rules) and I can’t wait to see what happens when they’re finally able to be together! 

The Layover by @goodwithcheese How are we all doing? Have we all recovered from this chapter? Are we prepared for the epilogue that’s coming? This story has been a joy to read and I will honestly be revisiting this one with a permanent place on my fanfics to recommend list! 🙌

Talk Tonight  by @darkroastjoel Joel Miller. Delayed flight. One night in Paris. Did I mention Joel Miller and one night in Paris? This was a delight to get stuck into the opening chapter this week and I’m a suck for an OC. I’m really excited to see how the night plays out for Camila and Joel on the backdrop of Paris.

Late Night Texts by @mvtthewmurdvck Another series that had its last chapter this week and an epilogue on the way. This has all the hallmarks of a good rom-com and another that will be a re-read in the near future. I had an inkling of how this last chapter would play out, but rather than be predictable it keeps you on your toes to a very toe-curlingly sweet ending that will make you want to hug the screen.

Hungry Hearts | Independence Day by @atinylittlepain This is another that will always be on my permanent fanfic recommendation list. Things are reaching a peak between Cherry and Joel and I can't wait to see how things are going to come to heads between the two in the present day.

Delta Landscaping | Chapter 4 by @rhoorl Just realized I keep thinking this is chapter three and it’s chapter 4 (told you it’s one of those weeks 🤦🏻‍♀️) - anyway, another delight of a chapter from Jess and there’s so much to unpack here with the residents of Mulefall Court - so do yourself a favour and go take a read… or two! 

Supply & Demand by @wildemaven Between this fanfic, @rhoorl’s portrayal of Benny and the influx of Garrett Hedlund posts on my feed this week - I think I’m slowly being converted to the Benny side! This is a truly sweet one-shot that I don’t want to get too into here as it deserves a read to find out yourself how it plays out and how endearing Heidi’s Benny really is. Because even if you’re not a fan, you’re going to want to read more of him! Trust me 🥰

20/20 by @ladamedusoif This popped up on my feed this week and it’s always an instant re-read when it does as it has a place on my favourites list! Joel needs to get his eyes tested and the man needs glasses. However, he really doesn’t want them.

Fics I’m Looking Forward to Reading... My TBR List is still a work in progress, will share it when it’s done 💕

These two I was hoping to get stuck into this week, but mental headspace got away with me and wanted to make sure I gave them the attention they deserve because peep the premises for both! 🙌

Tempered in the Fire by @ladamedusoif Okay, so it’s a Blacksmith Din AU set some time after the Irish Rebellion of 1798 - the creativity in this synopsis alone is enough to have me mentally carving out some time this weekend to devour the first chapter.

Let’s Call this a Win Win by @jomiddlemarch Joel. OFC. No Outbreak AU. Sarah and Ellie at summer camp. Sign me up! Joel is dropping Sarah off at summer camp where he meets camp nurse Meghan. Did I mention that Joel is going to be working maintenance there too? I cannot wait to give this one the attention it deserves and find out what happens! 

Posts I Enjoyed This Week…

Pedro living his best life at a Beyoncé concert this week and everyone living for the pure joy of it. 

Things I’ve Enjoyed This Week…

Marry Me - I am a sucker for a rom-com, and I’m a sucker for a JLo rom-com. Throw in Owen Wilson with a batshit plot line that is absolutely unbelievable and you can just shut up and take my money (which Apple did because I bought it)

Something from Tiffany’s - this was on paper a ‘meh’ kinda concept, but I’m glad I gave it a chance as I adored every second of it and now have all the feels and ideas for seasonal one-shots and mini-series that are way above my ability to pull off lol

Discussing WIP’s and OC’s - got to indulge with both this week with some awesome mutuals about not only my own, but theirs too! It's always oo much fun hearing other people’s thought processes and bouncing ideas around. Highly recommend it!

This Week’s Song…

What's a rom-com without a good pop song? This was the bop of the week as I made my way through the week.

Hope everyone had a great week! Let me know if you have any good fanfic recs or your own lists to share! 💕 xx

[roslynwrites]

Hi there!

I found you from your beautiful, stunning, nothing short of perfect fic, Incendiary! Apologies if you don’t want new fans/ commenters (feel free to ignore this message if it’s a lot!)

But because reviews were turned off I just had to let you know how amazing the fic was - somehow! This is not an attempt to ask you about your next chapter status or anything like that but to really applaud you for the work you’ve given us for FREE. I think zutara fans in general have felt alienated by the community (esp when creators of the show have openly mocked us) so finding like minded people & quality fics are seriously one of the things that make me so happy.

My brain rot with Zutara died a few years again & then I started watching the live action … saw the infamous scarf scene and well spiraled right back in. Last time I was obsessed with the pairing, was before your fic. So when I stumbled over it this round I ate it up within 2 days … despite having to be up early haha. It was such a master piece even as I write this comment I’m in awe. I wanted to leave detailed reviews on each chapter but honestly the way you built the story, woven canon elements into it & structured the dialogue was breath taking. You brought back so many details and even though it’s canon divergent - everything made sense. It’s not one of those ‘it’s outrageous but for the sake of the fic whatever’, it actually worked WELL.

The characters would do those things had it been a more mature show, aged up, different circumstances. I love that. I also appreciated the lack of focus on kataang and having Katara be more than just a trophy - she felt so true to her essence. I’m not sure what I was even looking for scrolling absentmindedly thought Ao3 but finding your masterpiece was really not something I’d dream of. I did think loosely of a forced proximity, marriage trope for them and you executed in such a satisfying way. I can say that I am so so happy for coming across this. I think I’ve learned alot from the way you write as well. You did such a good job with some of the sequencing and ahhh just a true delight and joy to read.

All this to say I’m so very thankful for your contribution to zutara nation!! You gave the fandom such a priceless gift I know incendiary will be a fic I come back to often to reread and marvel. I hope everything is well with you🫶🏼

This ask made me tear up a little with happy tears; thank you so much for coming here to send this to me, you wonderful person <3

It's interesting you mention the alienation of the zutara fandom in relation to other parts of the fandom, it's actually something I ponder a lot. Fandom dynamics are so interesting in general to me, and every fandom is a little different. I am not a Zutara veteran by any means, I sauntered in quite late to the party and I don't really interact much with other parts of the fandom nor in any discourse, but even to reclusive old me I think it's fairly obvious that the creators deciding it was a great idea to essentially declare open season on personally insulting a large portion of the fandom based on fictional shipping tastes had a pretty large impact on how the atla fandom interacts lol.

Which is, of course, a shame, but cultivating fun, relaxing spaces is still thankfully possible, and I do think that the loud troublemakers (regardless of ship) are a small percentage of fandom; the chill people are usually just quieter and have to be actively found. I am sooo glad my fic could deliver some joy and feeling of like-mindedness for you :)

[neewtmas]

24 days of Appreciation

DAY 22

Hello! It's the 22nd of 24 days of appreciation this month, where we shine a spotlight each day on those we appreciate in this fandom!

If you want to submit someone or something (for more info read here), you can do so here or just message me! If you wanna stay anonymous, either tell me or submit on anon.

Appreciation by me:

Appreciation by others (submissions):

Today my appreciation goes towards @lovesick-all-over-my-bed /@lewkwoodnco ! Honestly, I wanted to mention you much earlier but I thought it would be nice if you received this on your birthday. So first of all, Happy Birthday🩷🫂🎂! I hope you have the chance to properly celebrate your 18th😌. Besides that, I wanted to tell you how much I love being your mutual because you are literally the sweetest, you bring all the taylor swift content I need onto my dash and also let's not forget about your writing!!! Honestly everyone who hasn't read it yet has really really missed out. It's just a genius idea to base your fics on taylor swift songs👀 keep doing what you're doing, love you🫶🏻🫶🏻🩷!!

by anon: Hello! I just wanted to thank you for doing this! I hope I'm not too late and you still have the space to put this in. I wanted to appreciate @waitingforthesunrise. She has been mentioned here but I feel like not enough for the big presence she is in this fandom and for how much joy she has brought everyone. So Ari thank you so much for being the beautiful human that you are <333

Show your appreciation and submit someone or something here :)

[pastriibunz]

heres your letter! i'd rather you private answer this if you do im embarrassed by how gay it is

happy birthday, princess. i know you’ve had a couple rough weeks recently, and im sorry i haven’t been able to do very much for you. i’m sorry last night even happened.

but i can do this. by the time you read this, sotbaw will be done and hopefully fully posted or queued it least. i hope every fic i've written for you this month brought you just a sliver of joy, even if they were all late lol.

this is the only letter i'm writing. i scrapped the other ones because of burnout, but this one was so easy to finish, it barely affected me at all. i’m still not the best letter writer, but i do my best.

you’re incredible. i don't want to talk about kai this whole time, but i think she deserves a mention or two at least. nothing goes unanswered (forever) or unturned when you write, and that shines when you write kai. she’s saved you, i know, but she’s saved me, too, and seeing the way she’s developed over the years (although i've missed almost all of them) is so genuinely amazing. both your drawings and writing come to life around her, no matter the tone. sotbaw would’ve been nothing if not for the little bits you helped out on, and really would’ve been nothing if you hadn’t started it, and boosted me along those first few days, not to mention the fact that you created this.

everything you touch, you improve. from our other friends, to the hatchetfield community, to me, my life, and my writing. nothing i’ve ever seen you do has been less than wonderful, and most things have exceeded even that. 

you’re kind, creative, hilarious and gorgeous. somehow you’ve wormed your way into my heart, and my daily routine in just a few months, and if i have any say, you’ll stay there. from the way you connect to other people, to hearing you sing and read while we’re on call, every moment from you is worth keeping in a locket.

and yes, i mean every single moment. the more time i get with you, the more i believe that there may be a god, and he’s gifted me with the most incredible person in the world.

you’re everything to me. i hope, somehow, i make you even a fraction of how happy you make.

i can’t wait to marry you someday. to see you dancing with your friends, singing at the top of your lungs, dressed in what i’m sure will be the prettiest dress in the world, just for the fact it’ll be yours.

i’ll see you in seattle, with our book on the shelf in our living room.

happy 16th birthday. i hope you enjoy your present. you’re the best friend, and best qpp i could ever have dreamed of, and ever have asked for. here is fic 21 and 22, 

surprise! and finale.

yours, 

          raspy <2

im. im literally gonna cry

listen. im not the best with words. not when im not talking about kai. but. i really do love you. i think youre the best thing thats ever happened to me. youve made me better. thank you for everything you do. i love you more than anything.

i cant wait to see you. youll be the most gorgeous woman ive ever seen. not that you arent already are. i just feel itll be better in person.

i love you, raspberrysmoon. thank you for loving me.

[oliverreedmasterass]

Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Interlude | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Second Interlude | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Epilogue

Chapter Summary: The finale of The Frozen Light!

Words: 2k

Warnings: language, mentions of cancer/chemotherapy

Notes: Thanks for sticking around for this series (and Happy Halloween!) And an especially GIGANTIC thank you to the brilliant @infinisonicosm for the fic idea and @writingcold for your support throughout - your reblogs on each chapter fill me with so much joy :)

-----------------------------------------------------

The next day, Rae slept in late. In fact, she slept in so late that her parents decided she could stay home from school. Morgan’s white lie that she had gone into the woods to find him worked in her favor since her parents acknowledged that she must have had a long day and needed her rest. 

Rae woke up past noon and groggily realized that she had missed Morgan’s chemo appointment. She knew Morgan would understand, but she was still filled with guilt. She rubbed at her eyes and crawled out of bed as fast as her sore body could take her and started to head downstairs to see if anyone was home to share updates. She was about to pass through her doorway when she saw a vision. Jake. Rae smiled giddily to herself and walked back to her window and looked outside. Standing awkwardly out on the front lawn was Jake, tossing a lemon from hand to hand. 

“Wherefore art thou, Romeo?” Rae jokingly called out the window. Jake’s head snapped up in surprise and he grinned when he spotted her. 

“Hello!” he called up in his gruff voice. He was cleaned up significantly from the last time she saw him: he no longer had a black eye dragging half of his face down, and his destroyed clothes were traded out for a simple white t-shirt and a pair of light blue jeans. “Are you trapped up there or something?” he asked. 

“Kinda,” Rae admitted, feeling embarrassed. “My parents grounded me. I doubt they’d be thrilled to know that I’m talking to you.” 

“I think they’d understand that I just swung by to bring you a lemon,” Jake said, holding the lemon up. Rae let out a genuine laugh. 

“I wish you could come up here without my parents knowing.” 

“Me too,” Jake replied, his smile fading. He seemed to be thinking hard, but then called out in surprise when he started to float through the air, closer to Rae’s window. 

“What are you doing?” Rae gasped out in shock. Jake was squirming around as he moved upwards, but then stopped when Danny yelled behind him. 

“Quit it, you’re making this extra hard for me!” Jake swirled around in the air to see that Danny was the one behind his sudden flying, and let out another loud laugh. 

“Danny the wing man!” 

“It’s the least I can do,” Danny laughed back. His hand raised in a way that mirrored Jake’s movements, and he carefully lowered Jake onto the roof of Rae’s house, right beside her window. Jake stumbled a bit while trying to catch his footing, and Rae grabbed his arm to tug him inside her room. They both stuck their heads back out the window to wave at Danny. 

“Thanks!” they called down to him. 

“No problem,” Danny gave them a big thumbs up. “Hey, Rae, do you know if Morgan is home? I wanted to check on him.” 

“I have no clue,” Rae admitted. “I haven’t seen him yet today.” 

“I would look downtown,” Jake told Danny. “Sam had mentioned treating him to some ice cream down there to celebrate.” 

“Celebrate?” Rae struggled to put the pieces together. 

Jake waved Danny goodbye and then brought his head back inside Rae’s room and grabbed her hand. Rae was caught off guard but decided to go with it as Jake led her to her unmade bed where they both sat on top of the tussled covers. 

“Josh, Sam, and my mom met up with Morgan this morning before his appointment,” Jake told Rae. “They were able to get rid of the leukemia.” 

“What? How?” Rae couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

“I don’t know the technicalities of it, but Morgan was doing really well afterwards and, when your parents brought him to the hospital, they ran some quick tests and found nothing wrong. He didn’t have to go in for chemo at all; they’re saying he’s in remission now.” 

“Oh my god,” Rae’s hands clasped over her mouth in joy. Jake gave her a wide and toothy grin in return. 

“One thing about vampires is they always stick to their word. I know Josh was really concerned about your brother and wanted to make sure he did everything he could to get him better.” 

“I owe Josh my life,” Rae realized. 

“I think you’re good there,” Jake shook his head with a laugh. “You know, intercepting that stake yesterday before it hit him and all. God, that was incredible on your part.” 

“I still have no clue what happened there,” Rae told him. She hoped that he could maybe shed some light on who she was and what she was capable of, but Jake met her with silence. She watched him play with the sticker on the lemon. 

“Do you know what I might be?” 

“Is that what you wanted to talk to me about?” 

Rae suddenly felt guilty, like Jake had been hoping she wanted to discuss something else. But she couldn’t help that her powers were consuming her mind, to the point where she was starting to feel like she was splitting into two separate people: normal Rae and superhuman Rae. As bad as she felt for Jake, she nodded. Jake grunted in acknowledgment and stroked his chin. 

“My parents think you’re a psychic. That would mean you’re still human, which doesn’t explain how you can kick monster’s and hunter’s asses so easily, but psychics do get struck with accurate visions of the future.” 

“What do you think though?” Rae pressed. Jake’s face twisted. 

“I really don’t know,” he admitted. “I think you’re just Rae, with some really sick skills that come in handy during combat.”

Rae released a relieved laugh that felt like the weight of the universe was being lifted from her shoulders. Jake had told her the exact same thing she said to Morgan the night before: even though things felt different, she was still herself at her core. That was what mattered. 

Rae didn’t know what to do to express her gratitude to Jake, so she opted to snatch the lemon from his hands and toss it in the air, catching it without looking. Jake watched on, impressed. 

“How is everyone else doing?” Rae decided to change the subject before Jake said too many nice things and made her uncomfortable. Jake looked thrown off guard by the conversation shift, but answered with ease. 

“Sammy is doing really good. Helping Morgan this morning put him in really high spirits. He’s getting better at shifting too, of course, in the safety of our own home. My parents are talking about us all moving in together sometime soon which is a little crazy to think about, but it will be nice to finally be together as a family.” 

“That’ll be so nice for you to get to know your mom,” Rae agreed. Jake nodded. 

“Yeah, especially since I grew up thinking she was dead. I can tell that my dad is a lot happier too. I think I understand him better now. He told me to say hi for him, by the way.” 

“You can tell him I said hi back,” Rae chuckled. “And that I said thank you for not killing me.” 

Jake shook his head in disbelief. “I can’t tell you how relieved I am that we’re amending that part of our pack laws.”

“So, you’re not going to kill the humans who see you as werewolves?” 

“Nope,” Jake confirmed. “In fact, my parents are working on finding a new candidate for the mayor’s position who is in favor of all humans and non-humans coexisting. There’s an argument there, especially considering basically all of the town saw vampires, werewolves, and hunters running around yesterday. I think it’s about time that the town acknowledges we exist, and we won’t harm anyone.” 

“It is time,” Rae nodded with enthusiasm. Being with Jake and his family had proved to her that she didn’t need to fear vampires or werewolves. In fact, in the end, even the monster they had fought against was an innocent man. 

“We have all the missing families back and accounted for, so it seems like the perfect opportunity to move things in the right direction,” Jake continued to share. “And my parents claimed that they ‘recovered’ Tom’s body so it could be returned to the family for a proper burial. My dad delivered that news to his family earlier today. I wanted to go with him, but he told me that this was something that he needed to do on his own, since it wasn’t my doing. You know, he never told me that before we went into the woods? I'm sure he knew Tom’s passing affected me, but it must have never clicked in his head what I was going through until he saw it with his own two eyes.” 

“Thank goodness he’s starting to understand,” Rae said. 

“Yeah,” Jake agreed. His attention moved to Rae’s floral comforter, which he started petting. 

“How are you doing?” Rae leaned forward to catch his eye. Jake let out a nervous laugh and grabbed the corner of the comforter so he could run the fabric between his fingers. 

“Better than yesterday,” he finally answered. “Josh helped me out a lot. He actually wound up spending the night at my house and we stayed up pretty late talking. I mean, I’m still upset about how I let my family down yesterday, but I’m trying to move past it.” 

“I wouldn’t say you let your family down,” Rae countered. “You showed more bravery than I knew was possible.” 

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” Jake added to his thought, not acknowledging Rae’s praise. Rae thought over his concerns and threw herself back into her bed. 

“I don’t know what I’m doing either,” she told him. “No fucking clue.” 

“Maybe this is what it means to be a teenager,” Jake thought aloud. “Just a huge ball of confusion with no escape.” 

“I don’t know what I’m capable of,” Rae said up to the ceiling. “What if I find out that I can blow people up with my mind or see, like, a hundred years into the future?” 

“Then I’d ask you to give me a list of all the Super Bowl champions,” Jake joked as he leaned back to join her in her bed. Rae jabbed her elbow into his side. 

“Not funny,” she told him, even though she let out a laugh. “This is a serious thing that’s stressing me out.” 

“When I first learned that I was a werewolf, my dad was terrified of me,” Jake shared. “I didn’t understand it at the time, but now I know that he was waiting to see if I had any hybrid qualities, like Sam. I’m sure if I had known what I was capable of, I would feel similar to how you’re feeling now.” 

“I don’t want to hurt anyone,” Rae said under her breath. “Or see anything bad.” 

“That’s not going great for you, considering you killed the scariest hunter in the country.” 

Rae smirked. “I don’t want to hurt anyone, with the exception of those who are threatening people that mean a lot to me.” 

“What was that?” Jake teased her. “Am I hearing that right? I mean a lot to you?” 

“We’ve been through a lot,” Rae got defensive. “Hell, you were the first friend I made in this town. You made me a little bit less afraid of change. I didn’t feel as lost that first day you showed me around town.” 

“Well I’m glad my tour helped you get a lay of the land,” Jake kidded. “But seriously, I feel lucky that I got to be the one to make the first impression on you in this weird town. Who knew that something as silly as a lemon could bring us together?” 

“It seems like fate to me,” Rae joked. She tossed the lemon up in the air and Jake caught it with one hand. 

“How about we make some lemonade with this?” he proposed. 

Rae pushed herself upright and helped Jake up as well. 

“I love that idea.” 

****

Taglist:@lvnterninthenight, @writingcold, @myownparadise96, @i-choose-the-road, @psychedelicsprinkles, @mama-likes72, @ascendingtothestarssasone