#have also been thinking abt my contradicting identity so here.

[god-mouths]

Find who I am Remind me who I am

[themauvesoul]

Post incoming. Anyways I know nobody here has read ancillary justice and I would LOVE to keep it that way. However I have thoughts vis a vis sapience and angels and whatnot. So. Here are the four things you need to know abt spaceships in ancillary justice for this post to make sense:

All of the larger military spaceships are, functionally, incredibly complex AIs. The physical body of the spaceship is the AI’s main body. The trueform, you might say.

These AIs also have something called ancillaries. The ancillaries are humans who have been kidnapped from a conquered planet, put into stasis, and implanted with a device that allows the AI to fully control their body. This process is irreversible. Functionally, the ancillary becomes one small part of the larger ship’s AI. However, while the human body is controlled by the same “brain” as the rest of the ship, it’s possible for these separate parts to develop slightly different identities. These separate identities are (very rarely) capable of splitting off from the main AI entirely.

The ships are designed for war. They pilot their own bodies, plot their own courses, and their ancillaries are oftentimes the first troops on the ground during an annexation. So, the AI needs to be able to make a lot of decisions really quickly. Because of this, the AIs are DESIGNED to have emotions.

These emotions are somewhat controlled by their creator. The ships have loyalty to the empire they serve built into their brains. But, the extent that these emotions are controlled is LIMITED. ships can and often do have favorite people, and if they’re given an order to HARM their favorite person, the contradiction does very interesting things to the ship’s psyche, as it tries to reconcile an irreconcilable contradiction. The ships “brains” are ALSO programmable. Certain people are able to program orders into the AI, provided they have the right accesses and the right tools for the job.

Ok so basically. What I am saying is that I think angels in spn can should and perhaps even MUST function similarly to how ships function in ancillary justice. Angels are beings created to perform a variety of complex tasks (after all, looking after all of creation is a very complex job) so. I think that emotions in angels are NOT an accident. They’re there on purpose, as part of the angel’s decision-making capabilities. Why does heaven suppress them?? Idk. That’s for another post.

Also. Personally. I think that a falling angel can and should be more like an ancillary splitting off from the rest of the ship. ESPECIALLY if they fall like cas. Would it not be way more interesting if the cas we knew was one small part of a much larger brain, and he splintered off of that consciousness and slowly grew his own??? It’s SEXY. It also would make cas losing his grace make a lot more sense (if he’s disconnecting from his larger consciousness (like if an ancillary disconnects from the rest of the ship) he is slowly but surely losing access to the rest of his body, where the grace is). And I also think that cas getting his grace back should be like. The other angels HATE him for it. Because angels have fallen all the time. Some of them have killed their wayward, envesseled pieces themselves. But instead of doing that, cas let himself become corrupted. Which is disgusting to all his brothers and sisters.

Also in my head I think that angel trueforms are like. Big containers built to house human souls. So. The ship metaphor really does tickle the worms.

[geekgirles]

Hi, so this may be very personal and I’ll understand if you don’t wanna answer this. But recently I have figured out I’m aroace, but.. I have questions like... am I “worthy” enough? Can I rlly identify as those? I like a boy and like how we’re kinda dating rn, but I don’t LOVE love him- am I still an aro? I don’t rlly despise sex and I actually like to read it- am I still an ace?

I’m a cis straight woman (which is why the “worthy” enough) and idk how it works and I’m so sorry for sending you this but you’re one of the few I’ve ever seen to speak abt aroace and I feel very insecure and high anxiety abt this. Again, I know it’s kinda unfair to you to just ask these, so I totally understand if you dont answer this. Thank you though!

Hope you’re having a nice day/ night! ☺️

Hi there!

First of all, don't worry. I think it's actually more personal to you than it is for me. So I don't mind at all.

You should know that I perfectly understand how you're feeling. I, too, sometimes wonder if I'm worthy enough of being ace. As a matter of fact, that's something I've wanted to talk about for a long time but never really had the chance. Thank you for providing it.

I personally associate my own feelings of unworthiness to the stigma (?) surrounding phases. Like, "what if I'm really just going through a phase? Isn't that disrespectful of true asexuals or other LGBTQIA+?"

That's how I've been feeling for a while.

I always say I've been identifying as asexual since I was 14, because it's true! But my lack of experience in romantic or sexual relationships makes me wonder if I truly am ace or if I'm just lacking enough facts to form a proper opinion.

I mean, I might not really react to "hot" people (I mostly just have the aesthetic appreciation), but I don't even know my romantic orientation. I've never even had a crush in my live, and the sole idea scares the shit outta me, but deep down I would like to experience a relationship. Because of that I don't really identify as aro; I don't know, it just doesn't feel right, you know? Not like calling myself asexual feels right for me.

That being said, despite my doubts, I also understand that things aren't black or white. Life is an unpredictable, never-ending journey of selfdiscovery. It's full of nuance and contradictions. And that's not necessarily bad!

If you want my honest opinion, I do believe you're both ace and aro.

Inside each sexual orientation there's a whole world of possibilities!!

For example, you say you like a boy and you're sort of dating him, right? Well, that's perfectly possible. I don't think I can find it right now, but there's this comic detailing different aspects of being aro, and one of these experiences say, "I really like you platonically. Can we date?"

It seems to me that's what you're going through.

Just because you're aro, it doesn't mean you can't date! Hell, there's this thing you might know about called "queerplatonic partners."

Basically, that's what happens when friends decide to do things that you'd normally expect from couples (especially MARRIED ones) together. Such as living together or having kids. But you are still just friends.

Also, you can be cishet and still be queer, you know that, right? I mean, nothing is set in stone! There's lots of people who, for example, identify as asexual lesbians/gays, etc. There's more than one way of doing things, if you know what I mean.

Now, you said you like reading about sex?

Sugar, so do I. And, again, proud asexual since I was 14 here!

FYI, I like reading about sex, but I hate watching sex scenes. No matter the gender of the characters, I just can't. It makes me incredibly uncomfortable. And actually listening to moaning?!? Dude, just kill me now.

That's a good part of the reason why I prefer watching cartoons or comedies over live-action and dramas. As a hopeless romantic (see? Another contradiction), I get my much needed dose of heartwarming interactions without having to watch people intertwining limbs and panting.

Also...reading allows me to...control the intensity, so to speak. As in, I decide what I want to picture in my brain. Sex on TV forces me to watch exactly what the directors want me to. And, no thanks.

Oh, and just so you know, being asexual doesn't necessarily mean you despise sex. True, there are asexuals who are sex-repulsed, but many others are okay with sex, it's just...not a top priority, you know? And both ways of being are perfectly valid.

Now, tell me. After everything I've said, do you think I'm unworthy of calling myself an asexual? Because I personally don't think you're unworthy of calling yourself aroace.

Your life, your identity, is a journey only you can find the answers to. Experiences aren't universal, and there isn't one more valid than the rest. You do you.

[spneveryseason]

So I talked abt this in the tags of this post by @sambrosia and I want to expand on this idea a bit:

Basically, I believe that Sam exists at the intersection of vessel + demon blood connection + powers, and while they may interact with each other, as identities they are totally separate. Sam is unique in that he occupies all of these spaces, while many others only have two at maximum. I’m making this claim bc we have multiple examples of these categories separately, proving they don’t necessarily rely on each other.

The first is the easiest: vessels. There have been a plethora of examples of demon and angel vessels (along with some others), and practically none of them needed to consume blood nor did they need powers in order to house whatever entity had possessed them. Even when narrowing the vessel type down to archangel, multiple possessed vessels (like Nick) hadn’t expressed any abilities and didn’t seem to need to drink demon blood. Making it even more specific (intended vessels for archangels), Dean exists as a counter to the idea that intended vessels need to have any of that at all. He never consumed any blood, demon or otherwise, and never expressed any powers or abilities. Despite this, he held Michael just fine in s14. So, Sam’s powers and his demon blood connection were not necessarily reliant on his status as a vessel. I’ve seen people claim that this is because of Lucifer as a possessed specifically, but I don’t see him as being different enough from Michael to need these extra preparations to be honest.

Next: powers. Right off the bat, we have here a group of people that meet two of the three categories: the special children. They have both the powers and the demon blood connection. However, they do not have the vessel connection, as Sam and Dean had apparently been fated for this from day 1. So, the powers are not necessarily connected to being a vessel from that standpoint. Dean is the vessel with no powers or demon blood, while the special children have the demon blood and powers without being vessels. So it seems that the powers and vessel ability do not rely on each other. Expanding a bit, there are multiple examples of characters with powers (Missouri, Patience, Pamela, Magda, etc) who have powers but did not acquire them by ingesting demon blood. This shows that it is very possible for people to have abilities that they are born with, indicating that the demon blood is not a necessary a factor for these powers to exist.

Finally: the demon blood. This actually has the least evidence of all three of these categories, and is the weakest justification for this argument. This is partly because Sam is actually the only person we ever see consuming demon blood (although the special children are implied to have been fed it as well, and I always thought Ava was fed some during her time in Cold Oak). So we just don’t actually have much to work with here to explore. I also think that this is the point that may actually work against me the most, because there is an argument to be had that the demon blood caused the powers specifically as seen in the special children, as it seems to connect them to each other and to Azazel. However, I personally believe this is not the case, and that they were born with the powers and the blood was simply a tool to tie the powers to Azazel. My evidence for this is mostly due to the fact that Ruby straight up told Sam that his powers didn’t need the demon blood to exist in 4x22. Also, his psychic visions seemed to vanish when he started drinking the blood again in s4, which kind of contradicts the fact that they gave him them in the first place. On top of all that, nobody actually tried to drink demon blood to gain any powers, implying that the powers already needed to be there for the blood to be effective. So all this to say: I think the demon blood is separate from Sam’s powers, and they just so happen to exist within him at the same time and work off each other.

TLDR: Sam is a special little snowflake who is the only one who is vessel AND demon connected AND has powers all separately of each other.

[hisirdovx]

help i have owl house brainrot after the new episode and i cant stop thinking abt this so i’ll just jot down my thoughts here: tldr, i think that belos, phillip and “creepy luz” are all directly connected. spoilers for “eclipse lake” under the cut.

So, we got a Belos face reveal this ep which was... really unexpected. It was the first thing we saw, and there was no fanfare about it at all, dude was just straight up working on the portal with his mask off. Which seems... kinda odd for a villain who has been faceless for the entire time we’ve known him, and whose appearance probably holds a lot of weight. You wouldn’t expecat such a nonchalant reveal like that.

Furthermore, he looks a lot like Hunter. 

There are many little things that indicate that Hunter and Belos are not related by blood: Hunter’s use of the words “took me in” implying that Belos had found him somewhere, and now, this particular book that also seems to imply hunter was specifically found and potentially even kidnapped by Belos: 

I definitely do not want to discredit these, because I think they’re important, but I also think that the striking visual resemblance between the two as well as Hunter calling Belos “Uncle” are important as well. They might not even necessary contradict each other, if Hunter is actually the son of Belos’s sibling, for example.

This leads me to the relation theories that have circulated as of late, mainly about Belos and Phillip Whittebane. The two most prominent theories I’ve seen so far are the following:

Belos himself is Phillip

Hunter is a descendant of Phillip

Belos’s obsession with the portal and returning to the human world lines up interestingly with Phillip as a human lost in the Boiling Isles, and Phillip’s side profile bears a striking resemblance to that of Hunter’s. If we take in the new information regarding Belos’s own appearance into account, we can see that both he and Hunter share strong similarities as well, mainly through their hair and the distinct gaps in their left ears.

Additionally, this episode also gave us some information regarding Belos and his fascination with the human world: he’s been there before.

“You know, I’ve been there before, did I tell you that? The trees there are green, nights are quiet. I look forward to seeing it again.”

I think all of these things coupled together lend a lot of credence to the “Belos is Phillip” theory. However, the way Belos talks about the human world, as well as the discussion of how Titan’s Blood works has made me think about a different idea. What if Belos is to Phillip Whittebane what “Creepy Luz” is to Luz?

The “Phillip is Belos” theory hold a lot of water, but there are a few things about it that just never made sense to me. Such as:

Why would Belos willingly donate his old diary to the library, even if it was kept in the Forbidden Stacks?

How could Phillip have stayed alive for so long (especially now that we have his official appearance, and he hardly looks older than a strung out 30 year old?)

If Belos were Phillip, how could he do magic without the use of a staff like Hunter’s, as human don’t have bile sacs?

If Phillip made Eda’s portal, as the diary entries imply, then why did he not use it to return, and how did it get left lost in her backyard?

The last one has always been the biggest sticking point for me. The portal clearly was working and functional when Eda found it, and for long after, too. Why would Phillip willingly throw that portal back home away, and why only now would he suddenly be so interested in it as Belos?

But what if Belos wasn’t actually Phillip, but rather someone who just... looks a lot like him? Someone identical to him, who could take his place in the human world and leave that realm none the wiser to his disappearance? What if Belos was someone from the Demon Realm who, like Phillip to the Boiling Isles, became fascinated with the world of humans?

Think of it like the concept of changelings, human babies swapped at birth for monters that look identical to them. If something from the human realm gets lost, and slips out of that realm through a “leak” of Titan’s Blood.... shouldn’t something go in to that realm as well to balance it out? That’s what happened with Luz, it seems.

Basically, I believe that, much like how “Creepy Luz” is a stand-in for the real Luz back on Earth, Belos was a stand-in for Phillip when Phillip was lost in the Boiling Isles. Once Phillip returned, Belos had to go back to the Boiling Isles as well, leaving him fascinated with the human realm and desperate to go back--but with none of Phillip’s actual direct knowledge of how to do so.

Additionally, as this twitter user pointed out, we still have the scenes of Camilla in the police department and Luz floating in the black liquid to come in next week’s episode. I honestly think both these scenes will tie directly into the Creepy Luz conundrum as well as the use of Titan’s Blood. 

(As for the Hunter relations to both Belos and Phillip--I’m not too sure either way. I believe this changeling-esque theory could stand true regardless of Hunter’s origins; I simply wanted to bring them up to tie into the connections between Belos and Phillip.)

edit: ok after scrolling twitter for a bit, it seems like the book indicates moreso that hunter may be a clone as opposed to a literal descendent of either belos or phillip... either way i am 👀

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket, Se03. ep 6.(Part 1)

The main female protagonist who, has been the “mother /psychiatrist/ fixer/curse-breaker” for 57 eps & 2 seasons, has finally had her own “I’m a real person with my own issues” ep !!!! YESS! So happy!!! also, so underwhelmed. Tohru has been painted to be this utterly selfless & altruistic character for long, that when she’s finally a balanced character it’s presented in half an episode? Don’t get me wrong, I like the ep, but there’s also the same feeling of bullet train that I felt in momiji’s ep! ugh!! I hated that feeling! Go away~ oh well.. I’ll quickly state what I didn’t like, before jumping into what I liked, in order to end with a happier note~

What I didn’t like:

Tohru’s monologue after leaving shigure & Isuzu felt more like a background exposition more than a true character’s thoughts. The reason is that It is quickly narrated with quick flashbacks from the past with intentional pieces missing from the flashback. Pieces like” how did Kyoko hurt tohru? She said to kyo, in se02, ep “ I feel like I’ve only caused her sadness” &  tohru’s flashbacks in se02 of her mother leaving/ closing a door. All these things not included in tohru’s 1st ever personal monologue made it seem like quick fill in for the audience more than tohru’s main struggle. Compare it to Yuki’s 3 ep monologue in se02, filled with all his own background info, hence, we as audience sit back & just feel. With tohru a little brain work is needed of putting things together in the puzzle is needed because NOTHING abt her trauma has ever been explained to us prior to her monologue . Also, compare this kyo. A character who ONLY have 2 eps dedicated to him in 57 eps, yet even without monologues & with hidden secrets for climax purposes, his emotions are clear cuz his background was explained early in se01, ep24 & se02, ep9. Compared to them both, her monologue felt a bit lacking.

What’s up with the following scene? Her crying & kyo comforting her mid-street. He saw her crying, asked what’s wrong & she couldn’t say & he gave her a comforting advice. All good. Kyo always give the most needed advice for tohru to be herself & feel comforted. Se01, “complain more, be selfish” Se02, somen table scene & asking her abt her future plans & the hiro incident. Kyo has tried to guess whats wrong first. Here he saw her cry in the middle of the street & just gave her an advice? couldn’t he at least guess wrongly if it is her granpa? school? anything? This scene is AMAZING but it feels off a little.

Kyo’s “ now I remember” EXCUSE ME?????? se01, ep14, valentine ep, he got a nightmare, then when shigure talked to him, we saw a quick flashback that we didn’t now what it is but now it IS kyoko. se02, the entirety of ep9 & the “ I won’t forgive you” & the flashback of young him with kyoko talking abt tohru. se02, ep 22 his fight with yuki & the clear face of kyoko telling him abt something regarding the hat. His entire shutdown of tohru IS abt kyoko NOT abt him being a monster cuz tohru accepted monster kyo in se01 ep 24! so.. REMEMBER WHAT????? the accident?? I feel like being hit with a rock. I mean, it makes sense that kyo will get PTSD after seeing the hat, cuz he remembers the bloody accident vividly. But it is the dialogue that IS weird. “ I remember” ?? it makes no sense? unless it is another hidden secret & will be revealed later. If so, then forget this point.

Kagura (more on her below). Now, let’s talk abt what I liked!

-Grief (the most difficult theme to express in literature): Excellent writing!

Grief is one of the most diverse human emotions. ppl who grief a loved one either erase everything abt them in order to cope with the pain of loss & live on, or drastically engrave everything, not want any memory to slip away, or hold the deceased on a pedestal, or hate them irrationally in order to forget abt them, some deny that the loved one is gone, others talk to them daily, some act & live normally for years & suddenly it hits them that this loved person is truly gone & they breakdown. Others, direct their disbelief of losing a precious one into the envy that other bad ppl are still living, why my precious one is dead?. Thats why, it is a difficulty emotion to understand by others. Ppl watching you will always think that comforting you is enough & that the longer you take, the more impatient they are with you. Tell me, watching tohru this ep, didn’t you feel that:

Come on. tohru, you can love your mom & kyo! who says only ONE person can be your precious?

Umm, why she cries for her mom NOW? 2 years after her death? Is she over it already?

Tohru~~ your mom aint going no where cuz you loved a guy? she’s in your heart, girl. Ugh!

Compared to yuki who was abused by his parents & kyo whose mom commit suicide in front of him, tohru’s trauma is meh~

Feeling this way abt tohru is exactly how many feel abt ppl struggling with grief. You are NOT a bad person if you felt this way. It means that thankfully you weren’t struck by grief to tohru’s extent or that your grief went about differently than tohru. Grief is a crippling feeling. It is valid, strong, overwhelming, paralyzing & above all very unique to the person themselves. Tohru feeling that her mom is slipping away from her memory is so realistic & utterly heartbreaking. Grief hurts & moving on from grief hurts more!!!! The more you go on & live your life, the more you feel like you betray your loved one.

Tohru’s entire existence is for her mother & so her mother LIVES inside her:

Finishing high school cuz it’s her mother’s request.

Getting a job to sustain herself cuz she has no one to support her financially.

Giving her mom’s wisdom & teachings abt life to others.

imitating her dad’s speaking style to prevent her mom from “leaving”.

Being the perfect girl in order to portray that her mom, who is a gangster & is hinted by the ugly relatives to be unfaithful to her husband due to tohru not taking after her dad, actually raised a respectful girl!

Talking to a dead cold lifeless picture as if it is a living human being & going into panic attacks when she looses such pictures.

Suppressing all her true “ ugly, negative” emotions & only giving the fake smiles & positive attitude.

She fears that ppl will leave her if she isn’t “comforting, happy”, hence, the whole facade of “ i’m okay, I’m okay”.

Immersing her self in ppl’s issues so she won’t face her own feelings of utter loneliness, fear of the future, & being left behind when everybody moves on with their lives.

Thinking that having selfish desires contradicts the “ hopeful, kind” girl images, hence, the fear to actually wants sth for herself. Everything HAS TO BE for the sake of the others.

Tohru is deeply traumatized & her complex, unhealthy but extremely realistic attachment to her mom must be broken. Tohru must learn to LET GO.

-Kagura’s character’s assassination. aka (violence heals y’all!)

The show wanted to express the emotion that kagura is still in love with kyo, but is learning to let go & accepting kyo/tohru love. I love that. Her speech with kazuma abt not being able to face tohru cuz her face will show her emotions is so relatable & it hit ME personally. Loved that. Then, she learns that tohru truly loves kyo & should confess to him not talk to Isuzu & I get that, it make sense that she lashes on thru & teach her the value of being open abt your feelings & dont loose him. all cool & understandable. BUT:

How dare you slap tohru like that? you don’t know what she’s going through? tohru is wearing funeral clothes for God’s sake! she just visited her dead mom, you insensitive woman! How dare you assume that all tohru is struggling with is love love, romance romance yay~ confess, kiss, be happy?

Tohru & kyo’s issues are deeper than typical, normal, shallow shojo love. It is related to child trauma & abuse. To their own individual identity & self-image! Their romantic love is meant to guide them towards better choices for the future, not magically heal everything. Their mutual love is NOT the answer to their issues.

How dare you slap someone to make them go back to their senses? this is such an anime move! ugh!~ it cheapens the emotional weight of character’s emotions.

“ I’m not apologizing to tohru. We communicate thro fists” excuse me?  you arent even communicating with kyo thro fists! he sees you & run! the only time he thanked you for, was when you didn’t “ communicate thro fists” & played with him as a child! Not only make her hit tohru but not apologize??

No one told her off? are you foreal?? Isuzu pouting lips is no match for Isuzu powerful emotions when she’s embarrassed, & kazuma! where you at? Happy at the “ open confrontation”? Why do you kill kagura’s character like that?

Side Notes:

I hate how this went by in half an ep like they did with machi!! tohru is THE main character for God’s sake! But it looks like the show is not so fond of the true tohru who wants stuff & screams & talks to herself, alas she isn’t the angelic, innocent girl that is saturating the heck out of all shojo amines. Oh well~ perhaps tohru’s issues will be visited again in the finale?

Kyo gets PTSD reaction in front of tohru. great. Now what’s next? I won’t ever forgive the anime if next ep, kyo & tohru are all normal or worse the episodic theme prevents the continuation & jumps elsewhere. Nearly all the eps that didn’t end with a happy note, started the next ep somewhere & totally forgot the cliff hanger. such as, Isuzu’s ep in se02, it ended with tohru’s nightmare & next ep started yuki’s issues with tohru all smiley & bright. Another example, the Cinderella play ended with kyo/tohru torn symbolism where each is awkward with the other, next ep machi !!!!!! & kyo/ tohru all normal in kazuma’s house. But this time, it will be an epic mistake to do the same. Kyo going full traumatic in front of tohru to the point of her screaming is not sth you skip & start over erasing. Don’t disappoint me show! you can’t screw that, can you?

I love the symbolism of kyoko disappearing from the picture & the crack of her framed pic at the end with it still continued in he ED. Good job.

They are building for a hug clashing scene between kyo & tohtu. it must hurt. It is designed to hurt. I wanted it to hurt. It is not abt romance. It is abt mental & emotional trauma. I’m excited. But I’m scared. After today’s ep, I can confidently say I don’t trust the director. I’m an anime-only, but tohru’s part in the story is the least touched upon, the quickest to get over with & has the wackiest animation. They just don’t know how to depict an emotional tohru~ sigh~

Tohru is written to be a unique protagonist in the sea of innocent, selfless & always happy shojo heroine & opposed to the badass, physically strong female protag in shonen. She is the most realistic, but so much of her potential is wasted so far~~

“ saving the sohma’s. breaking the curse for others is a lie, in reality I wanted to do it for kyo” This line is supposed to be liberating for tohru cuz for once she is putting herself FIRST! It is not abt kyo. It is abt herself! it is cuz SHE wants him. See the difference? See how this line gives tohru the biggest character development!! but still sth is missing. I duno..

I have lots to say abt tohru, kyo, shigure, the grandpa, kyoko, Isuzu & even kazuma! I’ll do that in part 2.

I still liked the ep tho. It is solid. I”ll like it MORE if they continued from here & didn’t cut it cold.

[narcopharmacist]

Happy anniversary babes

It’s April 11, and today marks one year since I discovered Fugou Keiji Balance Unlimited on Twitter 😌

“Daisuke” was trending and I thought it was another Kpop thing (LOL cuz in my country the only things that always trend are Kpop-related), until I clicked on it and saw that it was a new anime. They were all thirst tweets like damn, and they were all so hilarious, and it wasn’t until I saw Daisuke’s edit with Cardi B’s Money that I got sucked into watching the anime, the first episode of which was just released the night before.

When I watched the edit I was like “Wow this man’s grace... this man’s beauty...” My issues got even worse when I learned that the reason why the title says “unlimited” is that his fvcking bank account is unlimited 😭😭

And mind you I have not watched anime for years now bc of ✨college✨

I went to YouTube to watch the opening song cuz ppl were going crazy for it, and bc ppl were saying stuff like he has a fiancé, and yeah damn the OP was lit, and then I saw it.. The sofa with ML carrying this “mysterious” girl. LMAO I was like “Ok nice we have this FL, he’s taken thank gohd” bc tbh I really wanted him to be taken already, better yet, with that gorgeous girl. I commented on the video saying “I hope his fiancé or whateva is rich... I also hope she’s badass, so she doesn’t have a bad ending.” LMAOO

That was the very first time in my life I dedicated my life into a certain anime, like frfr all I could think about the whole week after the first episode was that, and every morning after I wake up from my 3-hour nap I’d open my iPad, go to YT and watch the OP. 😌😂

Episode 2 came about and the girl has finally been revealed. Now this.. this was the time things started to get difficult, firstly because the studio decided to postpone further episode release, secondly, the debate about the girl being a fiancé, sibling, cousin, adopted, sweet home Alabama started and ppl were getting more and more... aggressive with it, bc on Twitter a lot of ppl really shipped the 2 ML together, while there were a very few ppl contradicting the idea that the girl is merely “family,” and that she could be smth else.

Every time I’d open Twitter all I’d see are these ppl bashing her and wanting the 2 ML together etc... Meanwhile here I was, part of the very few who wasn’t convinced that they’d downplay her into becoming “family” or “relative” and whatnot, most especially bc we knew her place in the novel (thank gohd I saw tweets abt her and the novel), and I was looking for some support, which I unfortunately did not find bc the aggressive ppl would bash on whoever opposed them.

Even on fvcking Instagram there were still bashers. The only time they won’t bash is if the content is purely abt Suzue herself. Even then there would still be ppl questioning her real identity, but they’d be overshadowed by the fujos/fudans.

Fortunately someone on Instagram snitched, saying there were “worse” ppl in tumblr shipping FL and ML tgt. And then I knew it was a sign to download the app and revive my account 😂

I’m so glad to have met the first 2 ppl ( @innovativestruggles @kannra21 ✨✨😍)with their dissertation, and damn those were the best times I ever had. I read every post made, and the one that really stuck with me until now was the facial feature comparison between Daisuke and Suzue, and SHEEEESSSHH she really pointed out the good- the BEST stuff. They also covered the OP, bc it had a lot of Suzue in it, and the speculations were *chefs kiss* 😊

During the hiatus I had no FKBUL food from the official source, but y’all on tumblr sustained me. Idek what happened to the person who tried translating the novel anymore.

I remember when the anime came back with episode 3, and every after episode we’d talk and giggle abt it, post abt it, heck get mad, and even though they were whack in the end, well, we had together.

I’m so glad to have met y’all. 💕💕

@cow-goes-oof @daisuzuship @ieatcrumbs @innovativestruggles @kakooshi @kannra21 @levi-is-heicho @marialenikiforov @maximorningstar @milcyuw @owishi @riva2mika @sweet12ran @unholysoggytea @willowea

We cried tgt, we laughed tgt, we tagged each other whenever we thought of smth and posted it, and istg the journey was super rough, but we made it through all the circumstances.❤️

Happy one year!! 💕💕

[tyrannuspitch]

been reading abt this one genetic study and it is rlly interesting but also bc using modern genetics to infer stuff abt history is something i'm Aware you have to be Cautious of it does kind of result in me having Knowledge that i don't feel entirely comfortable thinking of as Knowledge. which is a v weird state of mind. esp when some of the original phrasing was already really cautiously vague.

(cut to ramble abt boring things i am in no way qualified to teach)

like okay time to ramble: i found it bc as part of a long slowburn identity crisis i got rlly frustrated with what little i know of history & not having a clue where to place myself in it - like, england has had so many different waves of migration and changes of regime, and also aristocracy-focused history isn't always good at even distinguishing between those, and if we don't even know which of those groups we're descended from... do we know anything??? (eg: fucking druids wld be talking abt The Old Ways and i'd be sitting here like. okay even if you weren't glorified wiccans, are they "the Old Ways"? are they??? is that our history or someone else's entirely? like, literally, i don't have any particular interest in doing this, but if i theoretically WERE to try and return to the religion of my prechristian ancestors, should i reconstruct druidry or heathenry or smthn else entirely?)

SO i basically wanted to ask how much, if at all, are the modern english descended from the various groups who have lived here. Who The Fuck Actually Are We

and i did basically get a cautious answer! (after finding better scicomm than the fucking guardian, which didn't even take enough care to clearly separate "english and cornish" from "british". fuck the guardian.) the actual conclusions we can pretty safely draw re: this question are:

1. the modern english have a v high level of similarity with other peoples of the uk (the study said "british isles" but roi was not counted), much of which appears to be v ancient dna, which means the genetic evidence directly contradicts the old theory that the anglo-saxons completely displaced/wiped out the britons of england. which is nice. love when my ancestors do not commit genocide on my other ancestors

2. the genetic "clusters" in england and cornwall showed a significant minority of dna (less as you travel north) theorised to be anglo-saxon - "between 10% and 40%". which, like i was saying, is both Information and Non Information. "congratulations participants, you're helping our understanding of history evolve bc you're def partly descended from the ancient britons but you also appear to have some anglo-saxon ancestry!" "oh cool. how much?" "oh you know... some". i know it doesn't matter in the real world but sjfkflshlk damn historic population geneticists u live like this? (they weren't even saying "25% +/- 15%". didn't even give us an average. just like. somewhere in this range lol)

(okay actually i am in Explaining Mode so here goes. afaict part of the problem is they're not even sure which common ancestry to be counting. only clusters in england/cornwall have any northern german common ancestry, but everyone in the uk has danish common ancestry - BUT the danish dna is significantly higher than average in groups w n.german dna. so the problem is: what's ancient, what's anglo-saxon, could any of it be viking? we just don't know.)

(they might have been able to tell by dating it but idk if they tried. and also some of their other dating was coming out Wonky - eg iirc the n.german dna is mostly dated to abt 300 years after anglo-saxon migration ended. so what's going on? did the two communities just take a v long time to integrate, or is something afoot?)

(also, of course - england is pretty genetically homogenous but there is still Some variety by region in this genetic component so making a sweeping statement abt "the english" is hard.)

3. there is a Mystery ComponentTM that makes up a larger segment than the alleged anglo-saxon dna, is found in england, scotland and northern ireland BUT not wales (so it's not just Basic British Ingredients), and matches northern france? i think they're guessing prehistoric migration for that. idk if they dated it. Hmmmm. ~Mystery DNA~

4. methodological info if you're concerned: they used participants from rural areas whose grandparents had all been born in the 50mile radius from them, so region-specific info should be p trustworthy, and the sample size was over 2000. they also found their "clusters" algorithmically and then plotted them back onto the map, so there shouldn't be confirmation bias there.)

(if i *were* to complain, looking at their map... scotland and wales have some gaps in them. some significant gaps.)

5. smthn we might genuinely be concerned abt in the analysis of these results - are we taking the results from places we know to have a historical migration as more meaningful than those we don't? looking at the results shows me every single cluster has a small but significant portion of common ancestry with modern belgium, maybe 1/12. (i'm looking at blurry pie charts, that's my best guess lol.) no analysis i've read has mentioned it.

on the other hand - idk anything abt the history of belgium but i wld not be at all surprised if their genetics were basically somewhere between germany and france, and we've already discussed both those places.

plus, possibly more relevantly - they DID scan for similarities with various other countries in europe and didn't find them. eg, no signficant/detectable common ancestry with the finnish. so if it's showing up at all, let alone as 10% or more, it's more than just random noise.

so it's knowledge but it's not knowledge but it's /more/ knowledge than not knowledge? yeah. i'm having a great time

6. assorted fun(?) facts for those who made it this far:

-the most unique place genetically they found was orkney (note: there were no participants from shetland), who showed ~25% norwegian ancestry, followed by wales, who as we remember have no Mystery DNA.

-the differences between cornwall and devon were minor, but they were definitely there and they followed modern county line p much perfectly!

-there were two different clusters in northern ireland and the west of scotland, but they DIDN'T break down into ireland vs scotland. it looked more like it might be a highland/lowland gael/gall thing. i don't know if they checked if the n.irish respondents were catholic or protestant but uhh probably better not to all things considered

-no matter how minutely you break down genetic differences, there is a large group covering much of england that is basically homogenous. you can tell genetically which island in orkney someone's from, but you can't tell the difference between people from north yorkshire and people from kent.

okay this has been a poorly explained ramble if you'd like to read the damn thing yourself it's this: https://peopleofthebritishisles.web.ox.ac.uk/population-genetics

nb that is their website for laypeople, i've looked at a few different interpetations of this but i haven't looked at the actual paper (yet? dk if i can be bothered going deeper. we'll see)