#have a lovely sunday my friends!
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⋆。゚☁︎。⋆ i want a typewriter so so so badly. i have absolutely no use or space for a typewriter, but i would absolutely cry for one in baby blue ⋆。°✩
#seriously#like what do i need it for????? absolutely nothing#i just want one#maybe one day when i have a home office#anyway hello good morning#i have to go see my dad today which is 😣😣😣 no fun lol#but maaaybe one of the fyodor pieces tonight??? :o#eeee we will see!!!#have a lovely sunday my friends!#clari chatters
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bugs when you lift up a rock
#GYAAAAAH oh god the tags. help me#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#emu otori#proseka#tsukasa tenma#nene kusanagi#rui kamishiro#mmj#leoneed#wxs#more more jump#wonderlands x showtime#HAPPY BRITHDYA SAKI I FAKWKNG LOVE YOUUU#ichika hoshino#saki tenma#honami mochizuki#shiho hinomori#minori hanasato#haruka kiritani#airi momoi#shizuku hinomori#Time for my secret tags. IF YOU'LL BE AT ANIME NORTH THIS SATURDAY AND SUNDAY I WILL BE HANDING SOME OF THESE OUT ..#and i will FINISH VBS AND NIIGO GOD WILLING 🤞#um itll just be paper i dont know i dont have sticker paper. im making some into magnets for friends w what i have left of magnet paper#THERES A 30 TAG LIMIT? ok well im makign cosplayer for the next 2 weeks and im so scared ALSO MIKUEXPO TORONTO GYAAAAAH!!!!!#if youll be at mikuexpo toronto i hope to being some with me to give no promises tho. i'll be .. cosplaying tsukasa .... on public transit.#AGAIN. to get there. anyways i need to lock in goodnight love you sorry to asks i havent answered im sleepy#yhis ones dedicated to the person who said my art tastes like hard candy. little candy bobbleheads for you
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#tumblrstake#queerstake#love getting the real deets from my septa- octa- and nonagenarian friend who were there#and what their parents and maybe even grandparents had to say about it.#i have been told unpublished Joseph Smith III stories. let alone old policy and church screwups and the mildly bizzare recollections#also so many stories about encountering/being visited by the 3 Nephites from generations#that kind of lore is the best#yes. pls tell me what you learned in sunday school in 1960.#thanks for the primary book from 1947#Fred M Smith got caught with a beer by Joseph Smith III (his dad) . he hid it in his tuba but tripped#the beer rolls out of the tuba and is picked up by no one other than father JSIII#he hands it back to fred and says something along the lines of “you dropped this”#like where else are you gonna get that#rlds faction “war” where???? kerala 🤯 year?? 1990s#that one was from an ex apostle and is declassified and i used some artistic liscence in description.#community of christ prevailed. but apostle who came to prepare new ministers that had to take over after schism legally can never go back#no one died afaik#i'm just impressed by the apostle who was risking his life for the church in kerala bc theres more to it than this#good history#idk the lgbtq+ history that well other than they did have a group for them at Conference in the 70s#and no open old lgbtq+ friends
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gay people can never just say 'i love you' it's always 'i'd chase you to the end of the world just to say your name again' or some stupid shit like that
#honestly thats so real of them. its way more fun to be weird and vague about everything and never do confrontation and-#link click#lu guang#cheng xiaoshi#i started watching this show on sunday and its literally the only thing i talk about to my friends anymore#its kinda worrying#i have made so many enemies#they hate me for my good taste#ill go silent in the middle of conversations because link click comes to mind#god i hate this show#i love this show#AHIHQWIPOFHIHJOJWEH(*
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Likes are lovely, reblogs are even lovelier but you know what really makes people’s day? Commenting !! Or heck even leaving tags TTwTT specially with writing ;v; a lot of writers on tumblr get so little interaction and it feels somewhat unfair because so much work goes into their stories y’know? Idk just getting that off my chest rn 🙏💖 it makes me sad to see them getting little to no attention when they pour so much detail into everything
#pix habla#writers on tumblr#I can’t write for shit tbh#my friends put so much love into it tho#and it’s just bananas that it doesn’t get the love it deserves#but maybe that’s just meeeeeee#have a lovely Sunday yall 💖🦅
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For reasons to be expanded upon at a later date (because I love the little bits about Boothill and possible paranoia/betrayal canon gives us so very dearly HNGH) I think Boothill like... He won't let himself fall into disrepair or anything of course, but he reeeeeeeeeeally does not like letting other people poke around at his body. It's a necessary evil to him. He does whatever maintenance and repairs he can himself. He started out with a massive knowledge deficit, simply because he didn't really have any exposure to that kind of technology until he left Aeragan-Epharshal, but he's taught himself a lot since then, he worked really hard at it!
Anyway, the point being, Boothill generally isn't super trusting of people.
But I think he would come to make an exception for Himeko, since he trusts Dan Heng a lot, and Himeko is one of Dan Heng's once-in-a-lifetime dearly beloved companions.
Himeko is so unflappable, I don't think she would even bat an eye about anything he throws at her, either. Like she enters the Parlor Car one morning (she's always the first one up) and Boothill is already there, waiting for her.
"Mornin', Madam Navigator."
"Good morning, Mr. Boothill."
And despite the fact that he blatantly broke into the Express (Pom-Pom is NOT happy about this JDKSAJDSKL), Boothill tips his hat, greets her politely, and is nothing but respectful when he says he has a favor to ask of her. Except it won't stay a favor long, of course- he has every intention of paying it back.
Himeko never agrees to things blindly, but she does bring up that all the knowledge Boothill contributed during the Charmony Festival was essential to preventing the universe from being pulled into Ena's Dream. And they were able to hold onto the Jade Abacus because Boothill used Tiernan's burial relic to summon the Galaxy Rangers instead. The Astral Express owes him a debt of gratitude, and besides, he's a friend of Dan Heng's. Of course she'll try to help him.
Boothill fidgets a bit, quickly brushes off the thanks, and tells Himeko he's having a problem with error codes. He keeps getting the same one, seemingly at random times, but the darn thing has no obvious cause. Dan Heng mentioned Himeko had been the one to rebuild the Astral Express. He knows it ain't the same, but it's not like he's askin' for any major repairs or nothin'. He was wonderin' if she could just take a look, maybe offer him some insight, since she seems to be somethin' of a mechanical wonder.
So Himeko walks him back to a another car, where she goes to tinker with machines without them crowding her bedroom. It's all neatly laid out and organized, and it only takes a second for Himeko to locate some specific device with a long cord. Instead of plugging it in herself, she holds the end of it out to him, like an offer rather than a demand, and Boothill visibly relaxes a bit. He still eyes it just a little warily for a second, but he accepts and plugs it into the port on his side.
Himeko pulls up the list of all recent errors, and they really are all the same. Boothill has had multiple temperature alarms over the past couple of weeks since the Charmony Festival, and they know it's not the environment, because Penacony is mostly dreamscape and kept mild year-round. The long-forgotten natural deserts are too far away.
Boothill is staring from the corner of his one good eye, so Himeko turns the hologram to let him see what she's doing easier. They don't appear to be false alarms. His internal temperature spikes and then slowly lowers again, high enough that if it lasted it would eventually cause damage.
One option is for her to start rooting through personal data, figuring out what he was doing at the time of each code, and tracing cause and correlation.
Instead, Himeko reads out the timestamps, and asks Boothill if he minds sharing what was happening around him when it occured.
Two weeks ago: He and Dan Heng went to explore Dreamflux Reef and found a bar- nice place, good atmosphere. Woman runnin’ it was a doll. Boothill left fer not even two minutes to get them drinks (Dan Heng knows like nothin’ about liquor, Madam Navigator, can you believe this guy) and when he came back, someone had already stolen his seat and was hittin’ on Dan Heng! Dan Heng didn't even care, just shooed ‘em off. Boothill laughed and said not to let him get in his way if he wanted to meet someone. Dan Heng looked at him like he'd grown a second head. Why would he want to leave with someone else, when he came here to be with Boothill?
Twelve days ago: While laying low- er, just rustlin’ up some grub- in the Moment of Blue, Boothill passed Dan Heng with March and Caelus playin’ on the beach, buildin’ sandcastles and the like. When he passed by again almost two hours later, they were still out there, with Dan Heng pullin’ March through the water on her inner tube and Caelus hangin’ off the back of it. He swam so fast! You'd think he was part water snake or somethin’. He looked happier ‘n a cat in a sunbeam… He has a nice smile, doesn't he?
Eleven days ago: Boothill was killin’ time in Dreamflux Reef when he turned the corner down a shady alley and saw Dan Heng, surrounded by three men demandin’ “protection money.” None of ‘em stood a chance, they were all on the ground before Boothill even blinked! So cool! Boothill wants to see that spear of his closeup- Anyway, Dan Heng stepped on one of ‘em on his way out, hahaha! Boothill stepped on the same guy a second time as he hurried to catch up.
Eight days ago: Here on the Express, actually. Boothill had mentioned bein’ curious about the archives, and Dan Heng personally invited him.
(“I remember that day, I saw you in the hall.” “Was there any problem with the heating that day?” “No, none. I don't think the temperature has anything to do with these error codes. I have a different theory, keep going.” “If ya say so.”)
Boothill was fascinated by an entry on aeons, and from a single question he asked about Lan, the two of ‘em ended up talkin’ fer hours. About aeons and Paths and Emanators, Acheron and Self-Annihilators, the Sea of Nihility, Tiernan, the Nameless and the Galaxy Rangers, their burial relics and their customs. Dan Heng finally just started writin’ and editin’ the entries in real time, with Boothill pointin’ things out and tellin’ him what to add in. They were at it so late that Boothill ended up sleepin' on a couch in one of the cars.
He'd figured there had to be something to make Dan Heng chatty- he'd caught just a glimpse of it that first night they met, sittin’ at the bar in the Reverie together. He'll have to ask about the archives more often, if it gets him all revved up like that.
One week ago: After that night of energetic discussion, Dan Heng was apparently hyped up, because after he'd downed some of Himeko's coffee (“You had some too, right? What did you think of it?” “It was great, even better'n chewin’ bullets!” "Thank you! That was my newest brew, I can't wait for everyone else to try it.") he actually asked Boothill to go hunting with him. Boothill asked who their target was, and was surprised when Dan Heng pulled out photos that looked like they were from March's camera, of all things, instead of a bounty or wanted poster.
And as he sat there, studying these pictures, Dan Heng explained that he wanted to hunt down these specific memory zone memes to record them into the archives. Planets with so much memoria are a rarity, especially with the Stellaron's activity thrown into the mix, which has surely affected the local “wildlife.” He might not get another opportunity like this for a long time. And Boothill had talked last night about his extensive expertise in tracking and hunting, so he should have plenty to offer here, Dan Heng would like to learn from his experience and see how he does things!
And oh, Madam Navigator, by the time Dan Heng was done speakin', his eyes were practically sparklin'! Just lit up like the sun! Boothill could scarcely believe it! The two of them couldn't even wait another day, they set out that very morning. It had been a long, long while since Boothill had tracked someone- er, somethin’- without the intent to capture or kill. It was…actually really nice. Nostalgic, but in a good way. It might even have been his favorite day on Penacony…so…far…
Boothill trails off as a couple of realizations crash into him. All the temperature alarms he's spoken about thus far- they've all happened in the company of Dan Heng. And now that he's thinking about it, he's pretty sure even the ones he hasn't yet talked about were with him, too. Dan Heng has been responsible for all of his error codes, every. single. one.
The screen in front of Himeko suddenly refreshes to the top of the list, displaying a new notification for the current time. Alert! Core temperature above normal range.
Himeko's knowing smile is sly as a snake.
Wwwwwelp, would ya look at the time, Boothill has some errands to meet, people to run, y’know how it is, he should really get goin'-
“Oh, Mr. Boothill? About that favor.” And Boothill jolts to a stop in the doorway because fudge, he can't just leave without hearing her out. He'd given his word. He has no problem running out on someone he thinks deserves it, but Himeko really had been kind to him to try and help him out. Her voice is just as knowing as her smile, Boothill can't turn around to look at her, or else he knows he won't be able to disguise the sound of his cooling fans kicking on.
“Don't make Dan Heng wait too long, ok~?”
“Y-Yes, ma'am.”
#honkai star rail#henghill#bootheng#Himeko KNOWS abort mission abort!!!#I really love Himeko sorta looking after Boothill the same way she does her crew even if he's not one of them haha. She's so sweet with-#-Dan Heng. She really seems to adore him and wants him to be safe and happy. I think she would be so happy he's found a new friend!#She wants to help this happen!! So get to it Boothill!!!#Was yapping about this fic to Ray and she nearly fucking oneshotted me: 'It's especially funny because we've got a Vidyadhara and a cyborg-#'-they literally have all the time in the world. SHE's the one who wants to be around to see it happen akfbbsbd''#AND JUST. GOD. Himeko knowing that she won't outlive Dan Heng. She's only human. She can't compare to a Vidyadhara lifespan. So she wants-#-to make sure Dan Heng has as many people as possible. She wants to know he'll be taken care of and not be lonely even after she's gone.#Himeko wants to see this important moment in his life happen she wants to be around for it *sobbing*#I'd been wanting to write this for a long time though because for me henghill is all about the little moments. like. they talked so much-#-back and forth in 2.2. they spent so much time together. they get along shockingly well. Dan Heng could have gone almost anywhere to wait-#-for the trailblazer to wake up after defeating Sunday. And instead of anywhere else Dan Heng returned right to Boothill's side. Was still-#-hanging out with him at the Reverie's bar. Still just chattering away. The point is that these two have a strong friendship to build a-#-romance on! They enjoy each other's company! They like spending time together! And I love that! I want to see their mundane nights!!#They'd have such fun dates uweh... They go on a coffee date and miss Himeko's coffee haha#(fun story Boothill's dialogue about Himeko's coffee was originally going to be 'it was uh...an experience. ain't nothin' else like it in-#-the world.' 'thank you!' But then I read Boothill's parlor car dialogue and? it turns out he LOVES Himeko's coffee? go figure ajfldjas)#(afaik he and Dan Heng are literally the only ones. how cute is that haha)#hsr#boothill#himeko#dan heng#hsr boothill#hsr himeko#hsr dan heng#my fics
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Me and the besties experiencing joy!!!
I did a good weekend!!! With fabulous company!!
#I did a curry for Fri night. Then spag bol for Saturday. Then the bbq for Sunday. And cinnamon rolls & French toast as breakfast food.#I feel like I scored so high in inviting my friends over!!!#Well done me#And sabine absolutely adored her aunties!!!#It's been a blast but omfg I have been ready to perish for a while.#I'd really love to go to the comedy club again though soon! I thoroughly enjoyed it#Satans knitwear#Personal
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DOODS FROM FINALS WEEK FEATURING MY FRIEND LIO (go check out their art) and some work doods of the guys
Also here’s two memes, the first one was made by my friend Megan (also go check out her work) and the second one was made by me :3
#as a Californian I think I should be allowed to determine which Pokevillains have smoked weed#Lys has never smoked weed in his life and it's so obvious#my friend Lio is also the one who's saying “Pokevillain type beat”#they also love Sunday from HSR hence all the Sunday doods#we crossover our interests for fun#Team RR bug au randomly came about after I was buzzing that tiny heart “die” picture of Lys around the aggie-o canvas and they went:#“He's like a mosquito”#and then everything spiraled from there#gotta draw them all bug-ified again it was fun#the “bienvenue power bottoms” image is so powerful#wield it with care /hj#ghetsis pokemon#cyrus pokemon#lysandre pokemon#lusamine pokemon#giovanni pokemon#professor sycamore#maxie pokemon#team rainbow rocket#pokevillains#I now have time to make actual art so hehehehe >:-]#this is just the start to go back into the chaos#rainbowpufflez art tag
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the day the earth stood still is the day i felt your presence leave it, and then every day after that.
#tw grief#sigh sigh sigh.#apologies in advance as this is not the happiest yap ! i would just like to write out some of my feelings on this day#the heaviest heart weighs under an insurmountable amount of grief — the ghost of love#days like today are a twisted reminder that has every emotion flooding through your soul#longing . guilt . anger . an indescribable melancholy that could only be consoled through the sands of time#a year ago i lost my best guy friend and it’s never really gotten easier . but ive heard it never does#all i can do is bundle up the love i have for him and search for him in the clouds that take up the sky#the circumstances around his passing will never not haunt me and rather than go into it all i’d like to say is this#if you have a loved one or a relationship or a friendship you cherish .. then never ever stop fighting for it - for them.#as time never really seems to be on our side#each day i’ll live as he intended . to greet the world with kindness and a smile and passion for positivity#in his wisest words (or rather after every phone call we’d have hehe) i’ll try my best to stay awesome & encourage you all to do so as well#if you’ve read this then i’m taking your hand and thanking you#it didn’t feel right not acknowledging him at all on this blog . he’s the one that introduced me to anime + more importantly : one piece#i wish i could talk to him about it all so he could see how far down this rabbit hole i fell just as he had done#will be spending the day enjoying his favorite episodes and being gentle with the world that surrounds us#this is not like my usual yaps & i feel vulnerable posting it but i wanted to carve out a space for him on this blog#forever missing the connie to my sasha . maybe in another universe we’ll get it right#have a wonderful sunday my sweet friendz and if you can — hug your loved ones & blow a kiss up to the sky 🤍💫#thank you for being here & helping me make this a safe place .#₊˚⊹ ᰔ xoxo aims
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hey, what's something positive that happened today? no matter how small. i read Which Super Little Dead Girl™ Are You? by Nino Cipri for class today and adored it
#positivity#i read a fun story i saw i teacher i really liked#i'm going to a show on sunday#and planning to see a movie with my partner maybe saturday#arcane's coming out this saturday too#spoke with more friends in a single day than I have maybe ever#they told me they loved me for the first time#my dad's got a book to give me#and my teacher loved my last creative writing piece. she left zero notes. that NEVER happens she's ruthless (in a good way)#and i'd thought she wasn't gonna get it#i complimented a stranger's outfit today and she smiled and told me where she'd got in on sale#my strict instructor said i had really meta awareness and contributed good feedback and questions to the discussion#one of my other teachers had a dragon mini squishmallow with her today
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Reasons Why I Need a Sexy JoongDunk BL
If you know me, then you’ll know that it’s actually kind of funny that I’m asking for this. Me. A sex-repulsed leaning asexual who, for the most part, tends to stay away from (overly) sexy and/or horny series. And yet I really want a sexy JoongDunk series. A messy, Only Friends-type of series even, perhaps.
Make no mistake, though. I don’t actually want it for me, oh no. No, I want a sexy JoongDunk series for them, for their sake. Because I feel like they’d have a whole lot of fun with it.
And here’s why I think so:
Reason #1: Dum Dum
Definitely the most obvious reason, but the LOL Fanfest Dum Dum performance: the fact that the choreography was like That. And the fact that it was their idea to switch up who bites who for day 2:
Not to mention the fact that Dunk actually bit Joong for real:
I'm just saying, they wanted “hot and sexy”, they chose this:
Reason #2: “We’ve never done this before”
The way they kept bringing up how Hidden Agenda is more mature than Star in My Mind and how there were scenes that they’d never done before*, it seemed to have been a big deal for them.
*see here for some eng subs (this video is unfortunately heavily edited)
Reason #3: “Favorite episode of Hidden Agenda? Episode 8!!”
The way Joong immediately said episode 8 was his favorite, smiling expectantly at Dunk...
...and then was very adamant when Dunk couldn’t decide between episodes 7 and 8:
Considering their comments of how “episode 8 is special” because they’ve “never done anything like this before”... Well, dare I bet it’s their favorite episode because of the ending specifically. Unless maybe they were particularly excited about the stalker story line. I don’t think they’d done that before either.
Reason #4: Ep8 watch party live on Instagram
The way they actually sat down and went live on Instagram in order to watch, react to, and comment on the entirety of episode 8.
And considering Dunk’s comment at the beginning of this live about how it’s “something we've never done before” I’m absolutely convinced they chose ep8 to react to specifically because of the ending lmao. Unless, of course, they were extremely hyped about the stalker plot. There were no creepy stalker plots in Star in My Mind, nor do I remember any significant stalking in Joong’s other works. Or maybe the two of them were referring to the scene where Zo bites Joke’s arm. I don’t remember any biting from Star in My Mind, so who knows, it might be that. What else was special in ep8? Oh right, Joke punched the stalker. That can’t have been the “we’ve never done this before” thing, though, considering Joong was literally in a Mafia series before. Also, he punched Pepper in Star in My Mind. My theory still stands.
Reason #5: “It was more intense than this”
In that instagram live they also dropped that a lot was cut from that scene and that it was supposed to be more intense than this. Uh, boys...? What kind of choreography did y’all on set come up with for this scene exactly??
(I can’t stop laughing at Dunk's face when he agrees with Joong saying that a lot was cut. He looks like he suddenly bit into a very sour lemon lmao)
In conclusion:
Clearly they had a lot of fun with the Dum Dum performance and it seems that they were very excited about getting to do something more mature with Hidden Agenda, and also getting the the chance to do something that they’ve “never done before” in ep8 specifically. So my point stands: I think they’d have a blast playing a sexy series together. I want it for them.
Bonus: Vampire BL
Bonus points if this sexy JoongDunk BL that I’m asking for is a vampire BL!! Here’s why:
You can find a more extensive list of vampire mentions in my JoongDunk Vampire Mentions Masterpost here.
#actually i think they'd have a blast on only friends ngl#i think they would totally have been up for it#airenyah plappert#joongdunk#adrm#sexy joongdunk vampire bl#i actually meant to upload this on sunday but then i ended up much longer than expected with my uni assignments rip#at least i've managed to get this done BEFORE gmmtv2024 tho so that's something i guess#also it doesn't actually need to be in 2024 tbh#i'll take one 2025 too#i'd also be excited to see them work apart from one another in separate projects#but. i need this at some point in the next 3ish years#@gmmtv do you hear me? ได้ยินไหมคะ#justice for joongdunk#edit: i made this post BEFORE gmmtv 2024 part 1#so waaaaay before part 2 dropped the announcement for the heart killers#and can i just say...#you know how i'm using only friends out of all shows as an example here in this post?#i mean... did i speak jd being in a jojo show into existence with this post?? did actually i manifest it???? LOVE that for me ngl dkfjdjfjf#i hope they get to have some fun during the shoot <3333#i mean we DO know that august 22nd 2024 was an unforgettable day for them and dunk did drop they were filming sth spicy that day so!! djjdjf
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I was a dreamer before you went and let me down, season five 😭😭😭😭😭
#like - here are some of the greatest hits from season four#moments that actually happened outside of my imagination or fics#TK told Owen he was his best friend and he’s always need Owen in his life#TK went to Owen for advice on a problem with Carlos- multiple times#the first time he said out loud in a canonical episode - that he wanted to be a dad because of his and Owen’s relationship#and that Carlos was intimidated because TK knew what it was like to know his father loved supported and was proud of him#whereas Carlos did not#and TK goes to his father AGAIN after Carlos losss his father-#and Owen offers to take care of canceling the wedding and saves Carlos’s life#but come season five-#Owen and TK-#despite there being a clear moment where they could in every episode-#not only are they not talking but Owen will ruin his birthday and the progress he made in therapy to beat up Enzo#like- season five could’ve been so much better than this#any fic writer on here could have written a better season#911 lone star#tk strand#seven sentence sunday#owen strand
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she's beauty she's grace she's Miss Eevee Cosplay 3.0
#personal#pls don't ask me why i'm up at 2am i don't wanna talk about it#anyway i think she's mostly done maybe#i did some more work on the bangs on the wig after i took these pictures so they look better#and i might try to find some flowery earrings when i go to the store for some other stuff tomorrow#but all the major things are done. i think.#honestly i'm all over the place rn so i could be forgetting something#i keep bouncing back and forth between the one million things i have to do (con and not con-related)#anyway i usually try to do a different cosplay every day of con but idk i think i'll just wear flower eevee both saturday and sunday#bc i've put so much work into it and tbh i don't think i can handle trying to get another cosplay ready rn#the only exception would be maybe doing eevee 1.0 or 2.0 bc have everything except the wigs for those ready bc of eevee 3.0#totoro is friday bc my friends and i are doing a ghibli group!!#i wish i had a different ghibli cosplay just bc i've done totoro so much but i do love totoro and she's easy and comfy so that'll be nice#sorry shutting up now i need to go to bed i have WORK TOMORROW#cries#i should start taking off the whole week of convention lol#(no i shouldn't i should just get back in the habit of getting my cosplays done early and not con crunching -.-)
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“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” (1 Corinthians 13:13) ♡
#<3#bible verse#bible scripture#bible study#happy sunday my friends ! <3#i do not know what kind of week you’ve had - but i wanted to share something encouraging anyway ! c:#i think the world can be a pretty sad place but there will always be goodness c:#& God’s love & beautiful things - even if it doesn’t feel like it !#so i hope you have a beautiful & cheerful day !#& that you feel safe happy & cared for ! <3#sending hugs & much love !#xoxo ! <3#🌸 ໒꒱ ˚⁎⁺˳ . 🤍
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the amount to which I am furious on Normal's behalf is perhaps too much but also this that this kid is going through with no emotional catharsis or support from the people around him is awful. perhaps there's my "odd one out of the friend group" experience bleeding in here but like. hhhhrrrrrraaaaaaggggggggggggggggGGGGGGGGGGG if he doesn't keep throwing hands or start throwing words at everyone (except probably Scary right now) next ep I might start doing it for him
#I get that all the other characters are also going through a lot and that's why i dont wanna get into specifics of whats driving me nuts#but every other teen is an only child and it SHOWS#if I write even a bit more specific than that it's gonna make it look like I dont love the other teens when I DO#I love them SO MUCH that's why I'm INVESTED in them#i want the best for ALL of them#but when you dont have something nice to say dont say anything at all#BUT my close venting friends are BEHIND and stuff is starting to BOTTLE#might write out a rant to send once my buddies catch up#if i get to meet Will on sunday and im brave i'll be like#pop off king#do it for all of us#youre not henry anymore#get mad#don't apologize#when Normal went feral this ep I wanted to CHEER#dndads#dndads 2#dndads spoilers#normal oak
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Thinking tonight about Caelus, and the nature of his loss and his grief after the Everything that went down in Penacony during 2.0.
Because Acheron, Black Swan, and Misha kind of knew of Firefly, they at least met her, but they didn't like really know her, and Caelus never even got the chance to introduce her to the rest of the Astral Express Crew. The only person who would have talked to her much was Sparkle, who is. Probably not really someone Caelus is interested in grieving with skznmsks
Anyway, all this to say, I like thinking about how alone poor Caelus is in his grief, because he was the only one who knew Firefly. He's the only one really mourning her. There's no one to talk about her with. There's no stories to trade or memories to reminisce with anyone over. It's not as though he knew her for long, but still. No one else knew her at all.
And I love the thought of all of this coming bubbling up, hot and acidic and bitter, during a conversation with Sampo, who Caelus just so happens to run into in the Golden Hour. Poor Sampo is kinda blindsided, he knew shit was going down in Penacony, but yeesh. And he just. Isn't quite sure what to say about it all, because he's never really encountered this before. His feelings about the Masked Fools are...a mixed bag, but he's been a part of them for a very long time, and when you're with a close organization like that, it's hard to feel alone, in grief or otherwise.
So Sampo sits there on their little bench that the two of them have occupied, and he thinks of his old friend April, how she'd died in his arms cackling and spitting her own blood after a heist gone wrong, and how after he'd dragged himself back to the World's End Tavern they'd all held a Fool's Funeral- which is basically just a big party where everyone gets really really drunk and reminisces and toasts the dead and celebrates their life.
He still thinks about her a lot, and he remembers how the time he'd most keenly felt her absence was on Jarilo-VI, the one place where he couldn't talk about her because he couldn't say anything to give himself away as an alien. The Fools still tell stories about her every time he goes back to the Tavern. His first toast of the night is always in her name. Even now, all these years after she'd died, Sampo is still learning new things about her. He's never had to grieve her alone.
Caelus doesn't have any of that.
He might never have that. As they speak, Caelus has no proof that Firefly was even her real name, or if she dreamt with her true appearance. He might not ever find out who she even was.
And just imagining that kind of loneliness hollows out a strange little pit, right behind his sternum, deep between his ribs.
So Sampo claps Caelus' shoulder and offers him a deal. Come find him outside of the dream. He knows a guy who can get them a lot of beer for really cheap-
("Is that guy you and your five finger discounts?" "Whatever do you mean, dear friend, I don't even know the meaning of the phrase, hehee.")
-and they can hole up in a bar or a hotel room or something, and get completely shitcanned. Tell him all about Firefly, tell him everything, and he'll tell Caelus about April and everyone else he's ever lost. Sampo will carry Caelus' memories of Firefly with him, and at least this way, Caelus will be a little less alone in remembering her. And the next time they cross paths, Sampo will be the one to bring her up, and to tell her stories, and Caelus can get to be the one listening. He won't have to be the only person to talk about her anymore.
Caelus rolls his eyes when Sampo avoids another remark about sticky fingers, but...ok, yeah. That sounds good. Nice, even. Thank you. Caelus bumps his shoulder against Sampo's. Sampo bumps back.
(They find each other again the next day, and true to their word, get themselves completely and utterly shitcanned. Caelus talks more than Sampo has ever heard him; every minute detail, every word choice, Firefly's every odd little mannerism and habit. Because Caelus wants to make sure this will outlive him, that even if the Stellaron dwelling within him finally burns him to a crisp and he really does up and kick the bucket, or even, godforbid, if he forgets, he wants to make sure someone remembers her. She deserved that.)
((And it takes quite a while, after that. Caelus doesn't see Sampo again until after everything has settled down. On his last day in Penacony, he finds the guy slinking out of a seedy back alley and all but runs right into him. Sampo happily leads him to some dive bar in an even seedier back alley that Caelus has never even heard of, and Sampo raises his glass. "To Firefly! Who sounds like she probably would have hated me at first, but I would have liked to have met her anyway."
And Caelus stares at him, almost looking startled, long enough that Sampo worries that he's read him wrong and brought this up too soon. He's halfway into planning how to talk himself out of this situation when Caelus finally throws back his head back and laughs, tells him that yeah, Firefly would have politely called him out on every lie he told, and all their conversations would take twice as long with the way Sampo is so full of shit.
And he can see it, the same way he watches and sees through everyone, that Caelus' eyes have a tightness to them, his knuckles are nearly white around the handle of his mug. But he smiles. He hits his glass against Sampo's far too hard and throws it back and gets foam everywhere like he does every time they drink because the guy's about as elegant as a raging bull, but those things don't lessen the genuineness of his smile.
The grief is there, but so is the elation, and those emotions aren't a sliding scale between one or the other. It is all of both and both at once, and that's what contents Sampo enough to throw his own mug back when Caelus makes a toast of his own, "to April!!".))
#caelus#sampo koski#hsr caelus#hsr sampo#sampo & caelus#honkai star rail#hsr#my fics#me a few days ago: my favorite silly little guys uwu#me today: ANGST#honestly I feel like this isn't even a super strong angst though#it's more just. bittersweet? melancholic? something.#I JUST. REALLY LOVE STORIES ABOUT THE NATURE OF GRIEF#and 2.0 laid the groundwork for that beautifully woohoo#I just remembered this probably isn't common knowledge oops but April is the cute red haired girl in Funny Bone#her name was revealed by the creators on twitter. she's named April like April Fools!#anyway I ship it hardcore now thanks bucket boi & studio#but anyway yes I love and adore the loneliness of the trailblazer's loss and grief after 2.0#because we know from Sunday that Firefly is “spiritually dead” but the trailblazer wouldn't have that knowledge#and they wouldn't know her identity or about any of her connections to other people#and I love that juxtaposed against Sampo and the possible strange nature of his own grief-#-given how the Masked Fools operate and how they see Elation in everything and everywhere#Sampo is no saint- like at all lol- but I do like him and Caelus getting along and being bros#and I don't think it would be terribly ooc for him to care about someone he sees as a genuine friend#he maybe rarely considers someone a genuine friend. but still dmxjjdjdk#listening to Sam's boss theme as I tag this... have been listening to it a lot ever since I finished 2.0 tbh#it's probably what inspired a lot of this haha#because it does sound strong and intimidating and imposing#but you can hear it#the heartbreak
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