#have a feeling abt who this might be based on writing style

[prettyboysmlm]

Hey there. I don’t expect this to magically change your mind and I understand if you disregard me completely. I’m on anon after all. I don’t know how to say what I’d like to say as myself. But I also can’t say nothing. I am deeply concerned about you and I know I can’t stop you from doing something once you’ve made up your mind, but I wish you would just. Think about this more I guess. There are other outlets. I’m worried about you now and I am worried about how this will effect you later on as well as you’ve already acknowledged it is traumatizing. I don’t blame you for searching for some kind of outlet it sounds like you are under a lot of stress but there have to be better options than something that will ultimately just harm you more and cause you more stress. I know that I am probably not the right person for this but I care about you and I want you to be alright, and I wish that I or anyone else could be of more help to you. I’m sorry you’re dealing with the things you’re dealing with and I know that in the end I cannot stop you but it would also be irresponsible to simply ignore it and not say anything even if you end up just deleting this. I’m not your parent, I can’t make you do anything, and I know that in hard times we don’t always make the best decisions. I’m sorry about this. Take care of yourself and have a good night if possible.

hey uh. thanks for sending this. ig a big reason why i want to do this is bc i don’t really have any other coping mechanisms for this. and i can’t really have any atm. so this is just kinda what i go for. i do appreciate the concern and i am still kinda contemplating doing it bc of a couple logistical things but yeah. thank you.

[thatdeadaquarius]

Genshin Sagau (?) Isekai Brainrot - Language

I've seen like ONE small kinda related Genshin Sagau/isekai idea for this but I wanted more of it so BAD

It’s not the most interesting thing in the world, it’s about our modern vernacular vs. Teyvat's flowery speech

Pls feel free to expand on or add to this pLEASE TAG ME IF U DO IM STARVING OUT HERE :)))

So I saw someone write like one sentence abt this (can’t remember who :( sorry I’ll update if I find them ) or like a brutally honest version??

But I also took inspo from how fucking wordy and long conversations that are in Genshin, even with ppl like Xiao (the rude boy that he is) or even Tighnari who gets to the point pretty quickly

It goes smth like:

So, all of Teyvet, (esp ppl like Zhongli 💀 u know the ones) talk,, flowery.

Like, the whole Pride and Prejudice style speaking, euphemisms, metaphors, for some characters (or Npcs) its full on POETRY. 

Lookin’ at you Kazuha.

.

And going off of any variation of you being the Creator, (or otherwise an older mythical being?), they could have this thing where the older a deity/mythical thingy is, the simpler the speech. 

Kinda makes sense to them y’know? The older beings are serious, commanding, intimidating

And nothing says "I'm ancient as fuck and powerful as fuck" like simple blunt speech.

And being closer to the literal creation of the world, language would understandably be less complex (I’m assuming it’s the same as in human cultures in our world's history)

Like literally look at our fantasy typical stories, plenty of them have a dragon or ancient god that speaks in extremes, like so flowery its a metaphor, or so bluntly its startling (ie, "Be not afraid." "I am all powerful." etc etc)

And so, ancient powerful being = direct/blunt speech

..

…

...Y'know,, almost like our modern vernacular.

Like, part of some of our modern day comedy is purely based on a sentence being delivered bluntly for impact

Hell our ads and videos and content in general we always want to get to the point, to say things simply

So with this in mind, even if you try to deny being the Creator, they might still think you are, or at least a more minor ancient deity/creature

 .

(like the Seven Sovereigns/Phanes/Shades/etc. for example would sound eerily modern or at least easy for you to understand bc of this trait lol)

(Also I'm just assuming u know Genshin lore enough to know what I meant by that ^)

____

So, I love the AU where you just,, hitch a ride with the traveler like Paimon bc u start at the "beginning of the game",

And with every person you meet, you're like, "Ok, no, I promise this is just how my country/world speaks, it's not like that, I'm not some ancient deity…" 

And They're all like 🤨🤨🤨 "Well, fine traveler and companions, why does your speech sound so simplistic and sharp? Surely, you do not expect me to truly believe you.."

You: "Please I just talk like this, I'm a regular human."

Them: "Alright, if it is as you say,, you wish to not experience being "known" yes? Fear not, I will keep your secrets close to my chest."

You: "No, for the last time, that's not-" 

.

And it just keeps happening, lol

.

(srry I tried my best at emulate Genshin language + flowery speech idk how to do it)

.

Like maybe you would just sound weird or like a foreigner speaking y’know in simpler sentences bc they don't know the language as well as native speakers, at least that could be how you sound to NPCs and ppl who don’t know abt simpler speech meaning

.

...But the Adepti? Zhongli?? Barbatos maybe??? Even the Aranara??? Those who are old enough to maybe have heard how older beings speak or at least have knowledge of how they should speak/sound??

You couldn’t have predicted how shocked their faces were the second you opened you’re mouth… 

Sumeru scholars would freak tf out i stg, as soon as you meet Haypasia, she's already losing it, first the Irminsul progress, now this ancient being/Creator?? Girlie thinks its a sign lmao

.

(I’m an Aether lover, and also bc I think Lumine looks badass as Abyss ruler, so I’m gonna go with Aether for traveler sorry Lumine mains love yall T-T)

.

You, and Aether being equally confused at first pLEASE 😭 

lets say he speaks a little more fluffy than you at least, after all I’m assuming bc of the outfit that he’s from a fantasy-like place, and his replies can be a little fluffy like Teyvat’s residents, so he kinda fits in, kinda like everybody assumes he's just from another country when he gets to a new nation (at least that’s what I think happens??)

.

Like after (maybe Diluc?) Lisa, Kaeya, Venti, and Jean (who I think would all be knowledgeable, thru diff means, about this enough to maybe recognize the simpler speech = ancient god thing)

ALL reacted shocked as hell at hearing you talk, and would probably explain (or Paimon before then?) in that infuriatingly roundabout way, that you would usually skip a couple dialogue boxes just to avoid bc yOU ALREADY GOT THE POINT or alternatively WHATS THE POINT HERE?? JUST SAY IT, WHATS THE COMMISSION/QUEST FOR/WHAT DO I DO??

(Those blue highlights be savin my impatient life, and i actually like lore stuff 💀)

.

Oh that’s also another frustration. For you.

.

It would drive me crazy if I had to wait like,, 2-3 minutes for ppl to explain what they ate for dinner or sm shit

Like, now imagine that’s everyone, about everything.

You don’t know how anything gets done in battles or wars, like you need faster communication for that right??💀

.

Anyway, you, Aether and Paimon decide you just gotta not talk when you first meet people or like,, make sure you're gonna be around that person for a while so you don’t have to possibly get someone over the shock of your speech every time you guys talk to people 😭 that'd be so miserable I can already tell,,

Like at first, every convo ya’ll have had with people who recognize that direct speech trait as a thing, would take at least 10 minutes to finish talking about it/being shocked,,

It got so old so fast.

.

(Like I already can’t communicate that good with ppl irl bc I misunderstand them, or they do me, or they just dont get what I mean, and as my friends put it, which I think would fit here for any language shenanigans we go thru in Teyvat, "A Shakespearean level of misunderstanding, hilarious but such a downward spiral to watch, it just gets more and more ridiculous as it goes on...")

.

On another note, making fun of someone would be so fucking funny,

I’d like to give myself the benefit of the doubt that many characters, after getting used to your speech, would generally understand you (even if they always notice it, like an accent) and would actually rlly love hearing insults or even just generally how you would put things

(like maybe treating this almost like those vids of ppl with non-native english speaknig relatives/parents and its the most hilarious thing to watch them, usually get pissed 😭, at their kid, if u dont know what I mean look up on tiktok or smth)

And You just come off like those insults where you dont even use cuss words, you just like, drag queen read them into never showing their face again, and you did it in so few words!! 

They're amazed and oh, 

you've become the John Mulaney of Teyvat 

(Bad examples include:

Fontaine inventor: "...And I shall call my invention, crocks!"

You: "I wouldn't even be cremated in those." ) 

*Aether crying laughing in the background bc he never knows what you’re gonna say next, and Paimon's jaw dropped so hard

JFC this post is so long sorry, I probably will spam with a Part 2 but let me know if you’re interested in hearing more anyway!!

Thanks for reading this rambling!!

Or send in asks abt this 👀

Cheers,

🌒🌊🌧Aquarius♒️🌌🌘

[formula-fun]

my love. today I read your venom au finally (idk why I was putting it off, probs bc I wanted to enjoy as much of it as possible before I go into venom!max brain rot). RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ABSOLUTELY AMAZING FIC!!!!!!! DETHRONED YOUR OWN ABO FIC FROM MY LIST OF ALL TIME FAVESSSSSSSSS

in all seriousness tho, I loved it so much, max is so silly there:] he's just a big goopy lad who's obsessed with his human and I have to respect it (me too, mate, me too).

now my love, I have a question that burns me which I'm afraid I have to ask: how upset is max that he can't get his human pregnant? and does he make his indignation with charles' biology known? alternatively: mpreg? 🤲🏻? venom style mpreg? 🤲🏻🤲🏻? for me? 🤲🏻🤲🏻🤲🏻? lestappen with a lil goop baby that wrecks havoc and who lives in charles' pockets? 🤲🏻🤲🏻🤲🏻🤲🏻?

thank u for the fic mwah mwah kissing you loving you all that shabam

my LOVE! thank you sm i'm glad you liked it!! <3333 dethroning if i had words is CRAZY my evil little goo fic has come so far hashasahsah no i have so much fun writing them being silly and bullying each other in charles' brain, it's a good time!!

and im gonna write under the cut because i love this question, i have many many many thoughts. this is also gonna show how little regard i have for the source material unfortunately. but im having FUN

so i wrote a snippet a little while ago abt max's reproductive cycle because apparently this au wasnt weird enough, and basically long story short HE can get pregnant and has in the past, but symbiote babies are very vicious and hungry and their first act in life is usually either to eat their parent or be eaten. so max's parenting instincts are pretty nonexistent. they also reproduce asexually, so his mating instincts are similarly nonexistent. sort of. for a while

max is in love with everything about earth though. he loves that so many creatures instinctively care for the young of even other species, he loves that reproduction is a decision between two parties, he loves that humans devote so much of themselves to raising their young. he finds it all kind of sweet, but the weight of it didnt really click until charles found out max could have babies but was disappointed to learn they couldnt raise them and love them like humans do. its like he hadnt really considered that could even be possible for them, but once he learns there might be a way he goes all warm and soft and max is like ??

cause then max realizes all at once, like. he wants to make something with me. he wants to do the things that humans do when they raise their young, he wants to be with me forever and ever, he wants me because his oldest most ancient instinct thinks i would make a good mate and i would take good care of his babies. he wants to have sex because it feels good and he wants it to be me because he loves me, but maybe also he wants it to be me because he wants me to help him make something thats a little bit of both of us?? and welcome 2 earth alien blob max w a breeding kink

and i dont know, i would like to say they find a way around the problem eventually. maybe there's some way it works out? maybe it's some sort of nature vs nurture situation where max's babies end up being super chill because they were raised in a loving environment, or maybe symbiotes arent driven by a base urge to consume, it's just a product of their hive mind which has been silent since the civil war started. maybe any babies max has end up taking on a lot of charles' characteristics simply because charles was hosting him when they were created. it's possible they find a way around it and get a lil goo ball to call their own. maybe max almost does eat it until he feels how anguished charles is abt it, and then he looks down and registers that their baby is the same soft pink as charles' palms and eyelids and the tips of his ears, and all at once he just can't do it

but yeah definitely a lot of room here for exploration and discovery to say the least dfjskfjsdf

[cottoncandyloverrrr]

My first piece of writing will be based off of one of @bountycancelled ‘s posts. It will be a multi part series bcuz 1. I hate one shots 2. I can’t write long fan fictions yet. Idk how many parts but prob 3 parts at most. I only like to write 1k words max.

Word count: 347

Warnings: none, Sanji simping but that’s nothing to be warned abt. Blood. Spoilers for anyone who isn’t at or past ep. 48(I think)

Pairing: none really, Sanji x y/n, Sanji x reader i guess.

You were wearing slightly more revealing clothes compared to your usual coverage in outfits. You have quite a cutesy style of clothing. Sanji is giving you many compliments as you shop from the multiple stores. After some time Sanji is carrying several bags, which leaves you feeling guilty.

“Sanji, I can carry some of the bags” you offer as you both continue walking down the streets.

“I can carry these bags just fine love” he slightly flirts while reassuring that he doesn’t need your help. You both continue walking until a man tries hitting on you. You politely decline his date offer. When he doesn’t leave you alone both you and Sanji grow more annoyed at this man. You were preparing yourself to fight him. Before Sanji could even think about lifting his leg to kick the man, you had the man on the floor with a broken nose and blood everywhere. Sanji was shocked but it only made him fall deeper in love. You were complaining about how hard it was going to be to remove the blood stains you’d gotten

“My shirt! This will be so difficult to remove blood from!” You complain, your pastel blue shirt is covered in blood splatters. You readjust the bow in your hair.

“I can clean your shirt for you!” Sanji offers, you want to decline but he won’t take no for an answer.

You both begin heading back to The Going Merry. Sanji carefully sets your shopping bags down in the girls cabin. He asks for your shirt so he can clean it “I can clean your shirt now y/n!” He won’t em accept ‘no’ as answer. So after he leaves the cabin you change your shirt and give the stained one to Sanji “Thank you y/n! I’ll have your shirt super clean!”

The end? (Maybe)

Sorry I don’t know what else to add. I might make another part if I can figure out what to add.

[omegaversetheory]

I have read some omegaverse stories and saw some of those infamous ABO gacha heat cringe videos throught the years, and something abt those types of stories that seems quite creepy to me is the fact that omegas almost always look like children, act like children and are TREATED like children while their alpha counterpart is always potrayed as a normal adult

So idk, even thought i know that every omegaverse is different depending on the creator i Wonder what headcannons would you have about that topic, like for example:

-Do omegas age like any other people or they have some genetic factor that makes them look younger and/or age slower?

-would that "child treatment" have its roots from the discrimination omegas would have faced in the most conservative countries?

-In those same conservative spaces, would omegas get pressured to appear as childish as possible because they will be cuter and get a mate more easily?

-Would that kind of judgement perpetuate a kinda pedo-ish mentality on those inhabitants of said places? Would parents of omegas use puberty blockers on them so they still look young? Would omegas be encouraged to have a mate at a dangerously low age?

I mean, i know that this question can be really triggering or sensitive, but the fact that a lot of omegaverse stories and stuff i have read have this pedo-fetish creeps me out a lot and i Wonder if that kind of issue rooting from conservative judgement would happen in your AU

I, too, find that part funky and uncomfortable - but who cares. It makes readers and writers happy and gives me an opportunity to get creative. For example, I like to think that like romance tropes in romance novels pale in comparison to real romance and love - people living in omegaverse au's would feel the same way about those tropes and stereotypes. It's just another romance trope - the infantilization of omegas.

But let's answer your lovely questions!

Yes. Everyone ages the same. I've never seen a headcanon suggesting otherwise, and I don't write it differently in my own au. But in an omegaverse au that does use this idea, perhaps looking youthful is part of the beauty standards for omegas. It could include - a round baby face, the kind of soft body that evokes baby fat, bouncy and smooth skin.

I would argue that no, it's not based in conservative treatment, but in the traditions of generations since past. Sure, more conservative cultures are also ones that adhere to tradition more strongly. For example, omegas would be "debuted" to society around age 18, the prettiest/most valuable ones would be bonded and mated that same year, others may have to wait. Having a young omega as your mate would signify some level of wealth or power - as it was these alphas to whom the omega's parents would be overjoyed to let their omega bond with. This leads to a preference for the kind of youth that lasts - leading to a cultural beauty standard many generations after that courtship practice fell out of style.

Act childish? No. Appear youthful? Yes. Childish would be throwing nonsensical tantrums, wining, having some level of ignorance/overly innocent to the world. What would be fashionable instead would be having a fresh/light personality, wearing clothes that echo the same fashion of young children (ex if it's in style for babies to wear ruffles, ruffles may start to be popular for omegas to wear), wonder and a thirst for knowing things would be attractive in omegas as well.

Absolutely not. Children having children is not ever a good headcanon. Pedophiles would be treated the same way, if not even harsher in this world. Puberty blockers wouldn't help, as that would keep a child a child longer. I don't think it's something parents would worry about - their omega child looking too young, but it would give them some anxiety if they presented early. Heats/Ruts do not have a sexual element for children - that develops slowly as after their human puberty ends - so imagine around 17-19 they might start getting that instinct - but that's when they would be debuted to find a mate. So yes, if you consider 18 dangerously young. But in modern times the average bonding age gets older and older, just like in real life.

I'm sure you and I aren't the only ones who aren't fans of that omegaverse trope, but it's just that. A trope, and a place for people to explore the taboo. To me, just see it as a a/b/o twist on the daddy/little trope that so many readers enjoy, and that could be pushed further the right (safe and consensual) contexts - one of which being the fics they consume and create.

Take the headcanons you like, leave the ones you hate or refashion them. My favorite part about omegaverse is that it is entirely fluid and never concrete. We agree on much, and on nothing. No two aus are the same.

[applejuiceyjuice-art]

PARASOCIALITE MANIFESTO

⚠️massive infodump ahead⚠️

i wrote all that forever ago when i was trying to figure out the dynamic (and after rewatching a stream of the beginner’s guide, feeling incredibly inspired to create a drawing of twitch as a parasocial figure and thought i needed someone on the “other end” so to speak). after writing vol 3, it just sorta fell into place. i was trying not to post too many drawings before it came out 🤭

my original idea was basically the clashing of “someone who doesn’t care about anything” and “someone who cares too much about everything,” which is still true but i really love the added parasocial aspect of it 😁😁😁 and i like opposites attract type of shit i guess

kik wouldn’t even think of twitch as anything more than a basic influencer type until after watching for a good while. at the start, he was only curious, and still held disdain for twitch’s streaming personality. but he likes it when twitch gets mad, so somehow he found himself continuing to watch old streams and new ones.

there’s also a sense of relatability all streamers have, and so for someone like kik, who doesn’t find most people relatable (or tries), it felt even more intense. the fact that twitch is genderfluid, has overlap in their sense of humor, and those random moments where you and the streamer are just… thinking the same thing in the moment, feels like a red strings of fate to kik. donating to get twitch to read her message gives her a major shot of dopamine lol.

things that kik originally disliked in twitch are now reasons why she’s soooooo amazing: workaholic -> talented, trying too hard -> cute. she agonizes over being so attached to someone she once pinned as a normie and over the possibility that she’s being creepy.

deep down kik is a social person, and used to talk to people all the time, only thru the window while rarely meeting anyone “irl.” since amino is the only other person kik cares abt now and they go periods of time isolating itself, welllllll ig kik gets a bit lonely.

from twitch’s perspective, she has been working hard and trying to fit in with the bigger sites as her platform basically became a major trend in recent years. she adores the sleekness and style of celebrity type sites (which is why she thinks yt and insta are attractive) and wants the attention too. just in her own, gamer way.

twitch gets easily swept up in the streamer/audience feedback loop, and hasn’t quite figured out how to create clear boundaries. she could tell right away that kik was a fan by the time they met again. it makes her uncomfortable and annoyed when people idolize her, but at the same time she kinda likes being showered with praise and attention and stuff like that. though she really hates it when kik makes assumptions about her based on their limited perspective, and whenever they say anything self deprecating, so she also uses this as an opportunity to be mean to someone/boss someone around without repercussion.

i specified that this happened during their burnout era because it would be when they make the most irrational decisions and more prone to being mean. before then, they probably didn’t even remember kik’s existence or rejected him. it would take a while for twitch to actually see anything in kik, partially cuz he never talks about himself or his interests, and also cuz he’s just not their type (or so it seems??)

i think that twitch might like kik if she approached her normally, like being bold but not overly obsessive. but then it wouldn’t be very parasocial-ite would it? that would only happen at the very beginning since kik wouldn’t care as much, or the very end after they get past the parasocial aspect of it n are just talking normally.

after the dust is settled, their true dynamic is kik still being mushy/touchy-feely and twitch being awkward about it bc normally she’s kinda adverse to that stuff and would rather it be a joke. especially around other people. kik would bother the fuck out of him in public and likes embarrassing him. this also compounds with kik being the antithesis to the image twitch likes/wants to achieve.

of course at the end of the day they’re just dolls im playing with and i dont necessarily have to stick to any strict timeline or anything lol

dont get me started with the eddsworld polycule thing. theyd all kill each other

[espresso-ships]

Can you tell us more abt Laura pretty please

- @laloverboyy

AHSHSHHS YESS OFC <33

So basically!!

Her full name is Laura Bernardi.

She kinda started out as an OC and I wanted to have her as a character in my book - but who knows? She might still be in my stories one day HEHEH >:3 So therefore I've made her a background story already, but she's very based on me - with personality, dreams and goals, and family/friends dynamics etc.

When I started watching Better Call Saul I got this though of "LAURA AND NACHO WOULD BE PERFECT TOGETHER-" ...But I was also like: "ME AND NACHO SHOULD BE TOGETHER 👹" So I combined the two and turned Laura into a self-insert LMAO

Now for the story I have for Laura:

She's from Europe and spent her first years in Italy, before she moved to the US together with her dad and big brother Sergio.

They moved in with her grandparents, and she was very close with her grandpa - Valentino. He taught her to read and write and eventually she developed a passion for writing, just like Valentino had. He was basically her best friend, since she hated school and got bullied.

She is very close to her brother Sergio - who's three years older. He is very overprotective of his little sister and is the stereotypical "annoying brother" LOL He is currently living in Denver, where he's opened his own restaurant.

Laura is an artistic person. She enjoys poetry, music and art. It has been so since her childhood. Her interest in writing developed and eventually she started working as a journalist, after studying at university.

In her spare time, she hangs out with friends and family - they're all very important to her. And she makes her own books and poems too. She also likes reading and being outdoors, for example taking photos, going shopping or jogging/hiking.

She sometimes enjoy going to parties too.

Her fasion style is classy and simple. She also likes dark academia and grunge clothings (...but also adores pastel colors LOL)

As for her personality: She's both extroverted and introverted, it depends on who she's talking to! She is kind and caring, and good at reading people. Although she's a good person, she's very impulsive and sometimes says/does things without thinking twice. She was diagnosed with ADHD as a teen and also struggles with mental health.

She also loved animals! She has a cat and knows alot about cats and other animals. A bit of a nerd when it comes to cat facts :')

Relationship with Nacho 👀

Nacho and Sergio was best friends in school, so Nacho spent a lot of time in the Bernardi house. He got to know Laura's family, and Sergio got to know Nacho's family. The two families became friends and even had dinners together.

But Sergio and Nacho grew apart during the years. One main reason was Nacho joining the cartelm which he did not approve off. They stopped hanging out around the time Sergio moved to Denver.

After this, Nacho and Laura grew close. They had known each other for quite some years and knew each other well. They supported each other during difficult times and shared happy moments etc.

Laura even worked at A-Z Fine Upholstery (Nacho's dads store) before becoming an journalist! She was a troubled teen and Manuel Varga fixed her a job, and then she became colleagues.

They liked each other, but both were too scared to admit it. So they let each other go, and dated other people, breaking each others hearts over and over without knowing so...

After a bad breakup, Laura realized she still liked Nacho, and he developed feelings for her. They finally confessed to each other, and since then their love has bloomed.

Now, they live together in a house in Albuquerque, but plan on moving to Italy and start over, and live a life away from dangers and drama.

Laura is also planning on proposing to Nacho soon... 🤭

Random pictures

Laura S/I aestethic 💅

First drawing: The first drawing I made of Laura! Her design has changed a lot since LOL Second drawing: Latest drawing of her (and my fav art hahah) Third drawing: Sims 4 version of Laura :3

ALSOOO - This is what Sergio Bernardi looks like!! Had to make one for him too ahshshs (yep, he's an OC now and he's iconic)

That sums it up, I think ahhshss

THANK YOU SM FOR ASKING! <33 And sorry for making this reply so long LOL 😭

My English broke now and it's very late - so I hope this all made sense ahshshhs

[aprofessionalwithoutstandards]

I love demo so fuckin much but i wish there was more both canon and fanon content for him that isnt just "haha funni alcoholism " like. Idk it super fucking bothers me as a kid of an alcoholic (now recovering and about 2 years sober!!!) like. I would love to rec the game to my dad bc i know he would loce the style and humor but hes also really proud of being scottish and i khow that the main characterization pf demo would probably bother him.

Anyway demo beating alcoholism arc when.

I actually have a ton of posts abt this (u can probably dig thru "#demoman tf2" asks to find them lol) but yeah I rlly think abt this a lot. I'm also the kid of an alcoholic (actually a pretty long line of them, I'm actually pretty predisposed to it myself because I also inherited all the same anxiety/neurodivergency/etc. problems) and I'm also aware of a lot of politics surrounding addiction and am invested in harm reduction n stuff like that, so my feelings abt it are actually kinda complicated. I don't like the idea that Demo being an alcoholic is, like, a "mistake" made on Valve's end that needs to be "fixed" in fan content - it's not inherently wrong to have a character who is an alcoholic or even really a comedic character who is one. I think there's a big trend in fans (especially white people lol) totally overstepping and "fixing him" by just, never mentioning it even in places it would actually be appropriate and just pretending he was never written to have an addiction. I think that's just another way of showing that you think someone can't be a Good Person(tm) and an addict. The other side of the coin, of course, is the INSANE prevalence of people who make it his one defining personality trait and often completely mischaracterize him by giving him traits they associate with alcoholism but that he doesn't have (laziness, aggression, stupidity etc.). I actually find the way he's written in canon to be. pretty okay? There's definitely times where it's Bad but most of the time I think it's alright. Even the "short, violent temper" thing (a trait he's apparently supposed to have? But tbh he doesn't really have in any of the supplemental material lmao) feels less like a stereotype of alcoholism (as fans will make it) and more like an ethnic/nationality-based stereotype (which everyone in tf2 is, so it doesn't feel specifically targeted) (although you can also argue that him being an alcoholic is also a nationality stereotype which like. yeah). Smth I think a lot of people forget but is actually pretty present in most iterations of his lore and also in a lot of his game/intro video dialogue is that he has some kinda trauma and his self-esteem is completely in the toilet. This, in my opinion, adds another layer to his addiction that while maybe not really explored in canon (because it's not that kind of media, no one really gets their serious backstories explored they're just established and then dropped for more jokes) can definitely be expanded upon in fan stuff. I know yall like angst! Stop fucking writing "angst" where you conflate alcoholism with domestic violence and stupidity and start treating him like a human being lol. Write about Demo dealing with or beating alcoholism, but don't write it like it's his entire personality or pretend it doesn't exist. It's a part of him, but not all there is to him. Sorry for the SUPER long response anon omg I love talking and this is a topic I specifically have a ton of thoughts on. Sorry if this isn't rlly coherent, like I said I have a lot of posts abt this topic. I might go rb some now just to clarify my opinions

[wolfiemcwolferson]

i wrote u a message some time ago abt it but it seems that it was not delivered or something like that (might be my own fault cause I ~may or may not~ have had 3 glasses of wine before so absolutely no fuckin idea if I actually sent it or just wrote it and went to sleep)

ANYWAYS….

I have written u before telling how I ABSOLUTELY ADORE the way you write piarles (ultimate otp), and then the last fantasy fest fic…. I MEAN…. I’ve read it 4 or 5 times already and I absolutely love omfg how can u write something like thisssssss. I think by the time the winter e can he fic comes I’ll probably have memorized if, and then I’ll just memorize the winter exchange fic also because I KNOW it will be perfection as always.

(whenever u can, please feed me with your piarles fics, thoughts, 5 sentences prompts. I take everything u want to give)

Hi friend!

Your message from a few weeks ago did send, but sometimes I'm so overwhelmed with the nice things people are saying that I hoard them up like little nuggets and re-read them at 3 AM when my brain is telling me to delete everything in my current google doc and start over.

BUT, I appreciate your kind words so so much it's unbelievable that other people love my little brain drabbles as much as I love coming up with them.

I have a little one that I have had in my notes app forever and ever that isn't full fic worthy, but would make an interesting little ficlet so here you go:

Piarles AU- based off the song Cherry by Harry Styles, but with a Happy Ending

Charles makes a burner Instagram account - which is really really stupid considering he did it when he was drunk with Carlos and the username is absolutely something Pierre would recognize, but...maybe he'll see it and feel guilty. Maybe one day he'll be checking to see if someone has watched one of his dumb stories on Instagram and he'll see it and he'll know. Charles is still waiting. Maybe he'll feel guilty then.

Because Charles misses him. Every single time his phone dings and he gets a dumb notification on that stupid burner account that Pierre has posted a story, dread fills him up. Is he finally going to post the probably boyfriend? Is he finally going to do more than soft launch him?

Soft launch - stupid stupid word that Lando had used to describe whatever Pierre was doing with that man. Posting pictures of two plates out at a fairly romantic dinner. An artsy shot of a flat that definitely didn't belong to Pierre. A balcony that leads out to a ridiculous view of a French vineyard.

Stupid French boys with stupid money and parents with rare art collections that steal soulmates and - it would hurt less if Pierre had looked miserable for at least a day. One single day of him looking miserable.

But, the day - the day - after he told Charles that Pierre 'needed time to figure out if he was doing the right thing', he was back to his normal self. Smiling in pictures. Hiking. Going out clubbing with Yuki.

Charles wanted to scream at him a little bit. How dare you doubt this? You know who I am just as I know who you are. I've known who you are since I met you. You are the person who knows me best. You are the person who helps me buy clothes so I do not wear one color. (Charles doesn't like to think too much about the fact that he has been broken of that habit completely and it is thanks to Pierre's years and years of work.)

Pierre didn't need to figure out if he was doing the right thing. Because the wrong thing was what he was doing now. (But it's hard for Charles to find fault in him. All Pierre has ever known is Charles and Pierre...well, Pierre thinks things to death.) ((But, what is there to think about when you and your best friend admit that the feelings you have for each other go well past platonic? What is there to think about?)) (((Charles is being a dick. There is plenty to think about. Pierre is so hesitant to give his heart away. That's fine. Charles will wait.)))

Yuki comes to see him when he's on this side of the city - bringing him absolutely zero scraps of Pierre, but plenty of gossip about their other friends - who Charles does miss, but all their conversations are stilted and odd. No one wants to bring it up. Charles doesn't know if he's thankful for it or he hates it. Probably a bit of both.

Charles is laying on the couch, thinking about calling Carlos to come over and drag him out of his flat so he doesn't have another night of...this, when his phone buzzes on the table. It's Instagram and he huffs before swiping it open and Instagram switches his account, pulling up Pierre's newest Instagram story.

It's a short video of footage from a train window. Going home.

Charles lets his phone drop to the floor, scrubbing his hands over his face a few times before he picks it back up and pulls up Carlos' contact. He can go out. He will go out and he'll - he'll dance with his friends and he will...not think about Pierre.

.

Post shower, Charles is arranging his hair in a way that says...well, something. Lando will rearrange it when he gets here so he's not sure why he's bothering, but his door is buzzing and he gives up. Going to swing it open and beg Lando to help him, please.

It's not Lando.

"I was hoping," Pierre says, eyes on the floor, hands in the pocket of his coat, voice small and scared, "that you still meant what you said at Halloween."

Charles is frozen in the spot. "That I love you?"

Pierre's eyes flick up to his, quick, and then immediately back down. Like he's afraid.

"I do. I still love you."

Pierre takes one step towards the door, eyes still on the floor. "I know now." He shrugs, voice smaller. "I am sorry, Charlito. I should have -"

Charles reaches for him. Tucks him into his arms. "You know now." He whispers, feeling Pierre cling to him. "You know now."

"I love you too." Pierre sobs into Charles' chest.

He came home.

[wjsns]

and u know what im ready to make my full statement on MENG MEI QI too. the situation is so crazy to me, basically now in 2023 some ujung wont even type out her name because 1. cheating scandal (WHERE SHE WAS THE 3RD PARTY, WASNT EVEN THE PERSON TO CHEAT ON SOMEONE) and 2. doesnt mention wjsn ever and to me that is literally HILARIOUS like, god its just soooo funny to watch everyone pile in with the loudest most popular opinion and not do personal critical thinking, or hey, maybe they did and what mmq did really WAS too much for them to still support her but in that case i raise an eyebrow because idk… a lottt of yall are the same people who will get online and write about loving evil women and letting girls be shitty etc etc and she literally gives you what you asked for on a silver PLATTER, like doing nothing cancellable just giving us a good wholesome woman being evil and selfish and obsessed w herself and everyone turns on her!!!! sorry shes not fucking chuu lmao!? (ilu chuu no hate but there is space for good AND evil girls in my heart😇) im sorry im SO unbothered by her being the other woman in a cheating scandal like i cant imagine something mattering less to me and it actually made me super happy to confirm she fucks even tho the guy was ugly😇 but i said kinda most of this already so SECOND OF ALL about her not mentioning wjsn and shit… another thing i literally have NO problem with?? again, like…… no one was more distraught than me at what happened to ot13 but these are REAL PEOOLEEEEEEEEEE?!????!??? i’ve said this before too but i think its worth mentioning, i think my perspective on WJSN has always been a certain way because i grew up playing soccer on a team of the same ~18 girls for over 8 years and im very familiar with, idk, “team dynamics” in groups of girls growing up together? so i understand what its like to be in a larger group dedicated towards this ultimate, performance based goal together and while not everyone out of those 18 girls is one-to-one best friends and lots of people have pretty significant differences, none of that matters “on the field” or when you’re “working”, and its actually lowkey beautiful hiw such different people can unite together to make their dream happen AND develop really long lasting strong relationships w each other when they would otherwise might not have. so ive never had illusions that wjsn as a group has this monolithic motivator or reason for being in wjsn or being an idol, they are all super different personalities and have different interest areas like acting, musicals, song production, MCing etc! so its really impossible for me to feel upset or bothered in any way when i hear complaints about mmq’s behavior in this area because im like ? she obviously has/had this solo career (that i have to believe she had way more control and stylistic direction over than with wjsn) in her home country where she gets to embrace her personal style and concepts instead of matching wjsns, shes clearly separating from that past image and going in a different direction w her career! it does make me bummed that shes not getting 13 stars tattooed like xiao did but again what am i gonna do, be mad that this artist who i really care abt as a person is going off on their own path and direction? cujung is a ROCK of this fanbase its not like a mmq wjsn mention is going to create millions more ujung and album sales? just never added up to me, IM not gonna feel some type of way about it because stan twit fucking tells me to, like how it feels a lot of ujungs react to everything! that one thing going around that was like “wjsn are coworkers not friends” was sooooo funny for me to watch ujung actually get mad about because like,,, they ARE coworkers? AND FRIENDS?! there are 13 of them? each person has a unique individual and complex relationship with each other person? ah idk why i even bother with these essays the avg kpop stans iq is literally 65 yall love being spoonfed parasocial relationships simulated for ur consumption so much u completely block out ​the fact they are real people

[emailsquid]

ok spiderman p5 au thing that infests my brain is coming out

mostly based on ultimate spiderman and spiderverse since those are the 2 im super familiar with.

akira is spider-man obviously. after getting sent to tokyo because of the normal p5 reasons he gets bitten by a radioactive spider and gets the normal spider powers (proportional strength, spider sense, heightened agility), with the addition of being able to get a better read on people's thought process (i dont think spiders can actually do this but i wanted to reference the personas in some way) and induce a low level of delusion in other people, making them more likely to tell the truth with a spider toxin thing. you know the deal i can make shit up. hes initially unwilling to be spider-man until stuff really gets bad with kamoshida, and then is only willing to do it whilst disguised to avoid fucking up his criminal record even more. loves actually being spiderman tho.

sojiro is almost unchanged except stuff with wakaba is different but hes still gruff but comes to love akira in more or less the same way as in p5. hates when theres supervillain fights outside his cafe (oops)

ryuji learn's akira's secret immediately and encourages him to be a hero, partly bc he thinks its cool, partly because he thinks he has a responsibility to use his powers for justice of some kind, partly to get back at kamoshida for being a massive piece of shit. he stays akira's best friend throughout his time in tokyo and almost has his side.

ann is 2nd to learn akira's secret and also encourages him to fight kamoshida (im getting to him btw). She designs the suit as well and makes it with akira. she also wants akira to be a hero but is much more cautious and worried about things than ryuji

i have no idea what to do with morgana but im thinking hes gonna be another superhero, idk what tho. probably like a shapeshifter or something? more thought is required.

Kamoshidas like. a superhero who double times as a teacher, still an abusive shitbag but now hes like publically worshipped. hes akiras first big fight after akira spreads the truth about him with calling cards and gets him to admit to his crimes publically, at which point he has to run away in shame. partly i based him on kamoshidaman (although i dont actually know anything abt pq2 im just assuming) and also mysterio in far from home.

shiho is basically the same except ill bring her back into the story later for something. havent planned that far ahead. she will date ann tho.

most other characters i only have vague ideas for, such as makoto having an alive father (nothing bad could happen to a police captain father in a spider man story surely) and futaba developing tech for akira. its the only way i can think to get him webslingers tbh. for akechi i have something cooking as well but im writing a fic for this so i kinda dont wanna spoil that bc i think its cool. im trying my best to be accurate to the characters personalities ut akira will probably be more quippy than usual bc it just feels wrong for any spider man not to quip. so yeah. other than that i think he maps onto spider man pretty well tbh, hes got the public hate campaign, the saviour complex, the sense of justice, hes stylish and hes got a social life going on to manage at the same time. haru also has some specific stuff i wanna do with her.

also this is a marvel like au so other superheros exist but its an americacentric phenomenon however the phoenix ranger feathermen are real. idk what ill do with them but they are bc it felt wrong to only have like 2 superheros. there might be others too. idk. maybe its more of ust a superhero au with specific marvel ideas. wahtever.

if i had the time and skill to do art for this id love to do it in the style of the original p5 intro with limited colours other than red and black to white spectrum. it would look cool and set it apart visually. also it would look a bit like the guy she was intereted in which i love visually so yeah.

anyway yea this is a pretty specific crossover so cant wait for no-one to care but yea ill update this with more later

[amiharana]

something i LOVE abt your writing is your creativity, like you fr come up with prompts that I've never thought about or never seen other ppl apply to revalink, and it's just so refreshing to see them in unique scenarios bc it gives me new things to brainrot about 🫶 I always love seeing your new au ideas because they're just so !! much fun to read !!!! not to give spoilers abt your wips but the one you showed me for the upcoming revalink week has been living in my head RENT FREE like how do you come up with such great ideas 😫✋

also I guess this isn't your Writing but I love the way you text AJSBAJDB the way you say everything is just so funny and I aspire to text like you 😞

(ask game from here)

hi oomfie 🤍🤍 thank you for blowing up my ask box like always /gen

but yeah i make connections to media i feel is so obscure on tumblr dot com like barely anyone interacted with the post i made about revalink au based off of the k-drama 'goblin' because probably no one in these spheres really watches k-drama 😭😭 i think one oomf rb'd knowing exactly what i was talking about but it's like COME ON GUYS IMAGINE THIS SCENE WITH REVALI AS THE GUY AND LINK AS THE GIRL AND LINK PULLING OUT THE SWORD AND [redacted because spoilers if you haven't watched the drama ㅠㅠ]

just the other day i was thinking about an orpheus!revali x eurydice!link au because i was listening to 'wait for me' from the musical 'hadestown'. what about a percy jackson au with revali as a son of apollo who resents link because he gets claimed by a powerful god that no one would have ever guessed would have children. i have part of a scene drafted in my informal-concepting style of a fucking writer!link x editor!revali au. i cannot stress to you enough how insane and Not Normal i am about these two, i will stretch so far to make every connection to revalink i can, i might just get a little taller!

BUT TEEHEE i'm hoping i can get That™ Revalink fic out on time for revalink week ���� i stopped writing it for a bit because i got some writer's block and i felt like i was putting too much Plot for a oneshot, but we'll see how it goes! i planned some other stuff based on the prompts, but with the way this semester is going, i doubt i'll be able to write full-fledged oneshots on time for each of them so i may end up just uploading them later on after the semester is over (late may, june, etc)

LOL to that last bit, idk....... i've spent so much time on stan twitter and the internet in general i've developed a very particular way of talking. i'm someone who, if you say a certain word or phrase around me enough, i'll start adding it to my vocabulary without really thinking. like the reason why i type 'not' and 'sorry' as 'nawt' and 'sawry' sometimes? my stan twitter bestie lele (i'm not gonna tag her but she's on here as well i know ur seeing this bff i love u sm). how sometimes my emoji usages are random? also partly lele and other stan twitter mutuals who liked to use random emojis that had nothing to do with the topic because it was funny. i feel like the way i type things online expresses exactly the tone and flow i would use irl too 🤞😽

[amarriageoftrueminds]

i don't get how some ppl have such short memories for the creative decisions marvel makes

people saying that james gunn(??) should write Bucky bc of rocket's arc in gotg3... did they forget that we already know what gunn's thoughts on Bucky and his autonomy are? none of them were remotely good, and it also involved rocket and his ableist running joke of wanting to dismember amputees replacement limbs off. marvel would rather humanize a raccoon than a human who was tortured and enslaved by nazis.

or how people will rightfully criticize all the available info feige puts out re: Thunderbolts for calling Bucky a villain... but then turn around and preeptively praise that he might have "long" hair (the WS cut) so out wondering why marvel keeps putting Bucky in winter soldier style designs whenever they villainize him again. it happens in both comics and mcu consistently. obviously those in charge want to keep him as the WS villain role and not progress his character and don't care why people liked the WS story (the development it set up)

or how some complain that Sam was unkind and victimblamey towards Bucky in tfatws, I feel like those got too into fanon!Sam that made him a therapist bc of his veteran work, but Sam re: Bucky started out wanting him to be put down like a dog, and consistently complained about Steve treating Bucky with kindness and empathy. fatws Sam wasn't OOC, he was always a military man whose empathy never extended towards the POW captured by Nazis and always regarded him as a potential threat that he has to tolerate, that was in character. the actual fault is the mcu not exploring the dynamic a super patriotic US military man not extending empathy towards a a ww2 vet for fought nazis only for said nazis to be hired by the US a lá Project Paperclip, but LBR the disney-owned and USDoD-funded marvel studios is not financially incentivized to delve into those topics in any way that doesn't ultimately end with "woo, Captain Amurrica, red white and blue stars and stripes, stand for the flag wooo! ignore anything close to critical in this project and embrace patriotic centrism!"

I already hate how long the last one got but another thing:

the way that Steve's mother and his Irish heritage (during the early 1900s which makes it more significant in that point in history) are given to shine, we don't even know her maiden name, even the story of Steve's father and how it's supposed to parallel Steve going to fight European fascism in both world wars, none of that gets any attention bc marvel as a franchise cares more abt the generic patriotism to dive into the characters

There's never enough talk about how post-CATWS mcu demoted Bucky from titular character and arguable secondary protagonist as a foil and parallel for Steve, be his alternate supersoldier/superhero journey based on who the world chose to lionized and who to exploit in the seedy underbelly and shady deals w nazis, but post-CATWS mcu (specifically CACW) robbed Steve of the chance to have Steve's (not Cap's, Steve's) character be explored.

Becayse why tf does that terrorizing billionaire have more screentime on what is (nominally) a sequel to Steve and Bucky's movie? We learn more about tony's annoying ass billionaire parents in a desperate attempt for pity than we do about either Bucky or Steve's families… the most we get is a name drop of Steve and Bucky reunion scenes that were clearly cut short if you compare them to the trailers of the movie.

the russos are branded as hacks (and maybe this is me still being bitter as an OG cacw-hater) but after they revealed in interviews that they kept re-editing and re-shooting civil war until half of test audiences sided with tony, that should've been where they were forever banned from filmmaking. that's not making a movie, that's making a product to sell action figures (unfortunately true for most of marvel if we're honest)

"Captain America: the Winter Soldier" nay have listed them by their titles, but that movie is pretty much the only time we see Bucky and Steve as characters most of the time, it's literally the only own with flashbacks to their relationship before the war, before "Captain America" even existed, to where it was just Bucky and Steve.

the vast majority of the marvel franchise treats them as only "Cap" and "Winter Soldier" their actual characters get lost by "creatives" who only have a superficial understanding of them as just two types of action figures to collect, they don't know Steve or Bucky, so we get sequels constantly about "Bucky's a killer robot who must be browbeat at every turn" and "Steve's most important thing in his life is the cap shield and legacy" as if their stories weren't centered around how Bucky was NOT the killer robot and in fact Steve's damn-near guardian angel character before the war and even during (literally killing nazis before they could touch Steve) and as if Steve didn't throw away the shield and Captain America title in each of his movies in favor of what's actually important to him: his oldest protector and the one he wants to protect in return, Bucky.

marvel doesn't even understand Bucky and Steve, they treat them as WS & CA, even though their core canon never showed them caring about the "legacy" and patriotism, it was always incidental at best or an obstacle that gets in the way. the most patriotism was in catfa, but it was always a mantle forced into Steve and his hero team (Howling Commandos) were purposefully diverse and non-American majority recommended by Bucky when Steve joined Bucky in the war to fight nazis. But now marvel wants to retcon in this stuff with lines like Bucky calling Hydra "my people" instead of his oppressors and torturers like they actually were, and storylines about how the patriotic legacy and shield are Steve's whole identity instead of Bucky speaking up and pointing out that none of the other characters actually knew Steve, they only knew "Cap" and "Mr. America" and that Steve literally abandoned the shield as his last public choice with it, so none of it even is his legacy at all.

the sheer gall of (in defense of infinitywar/endgame's BS) people claimed that Bucky would finally get focus again in tfatws, but in the end, only catws gave us flashback scenes of Bucky (and Steve!) before the war before the superhero stuff, meanwhile the d+ show didn't even acknowledge that Bucky's direct family's kids are 1000% alive (he had a big family!) and heard of the real uncle Bucky, and instead the show claimed that Bucky is closest to HYDRA… the ones who tortured him into a mindslave… and he said it to a government mandated therapist (institutionalization by the state) who works for the same government who had the hydra-nazis on payroll and funded Bucky's torture…

no one at marvel even gave a thought about Bucky's family or the direct fault the gov has in his abuse.. no one on screen points out that the state that's institutionalizing him as a felon literally owes him reparations. they could've done a storyline relating to other IRL groups and family descendants who are owed reparations for the USA's domestic and international crimes and how Bucky is a similar case, but instead it's about how Bucky has no family that he was violently imprisoned from and how he's the one at fault and how the government mandated oversight says Bucky should be apologizing for what they funded

Bucky has so many blatant similarities with victims and descendants of IRL state human rights abuses that those states refuse to recognize, but marvel isn't willing to frame in a way that makes the US look bad because they're too busy being patriotic and "respecting the shield" and flag symbols and "legacy" and pretending like the shield is so so so important to Bucky or Steve and retcon out the parts where the shield and the captain america stuff was discarded easily at the emotional climax of each of the first 3 movies in favor of protecting what actually mattered more: each other….

but patriotism tho, the new Cap & WS who replaced Bucky & Steve are too patriotic to point out that the government literally owes their (cuz both ssr/shield & hydra were agencies by them) their two most famous supersoldier experimental test subjects a lot of money and apologies for a long laundry list of reasons

[kyoghurts]

🗝️— idk how to start with this so i might ramble every now and then.

it started around this june when i was on a vacation trip to my father’s hometown, when i posted a stupid note on ig about my sister turning into an alpha wolf and she replied to it, saying she was confused and found the note funny. so i sent her the video with my sister while the filter turned her into some wolf (i still laugh at it to this day). that was how we met. i didn’t know her at that time and only realised we’ve been mutuals since may-june 2023, i think i just accepted her friend req without much thought, and so i stalked her a bit and found that we had a lot of mutual friends as well. one of them, was her best friend, we’ll call her (j), and another was my close friend (a), coincidentally, i asked (a) who she was before we took flight for vaca. i was fixing her yachi wig for this goth!cosplay collab for hq and we were chatting at my living room and randomly asked her about that girl — i was slightly intrigued to see her on my feed, when she covered enter sandman by metallica — and (a) told me she’s this nerdy (VERY nerdy) androgynous girl with a talent for singing & playing guitar.

they’ve been friends since elementary, but aren’t close anymore due to some drama between their friend group. i forgot abt the whole convo until she suddenly replied to the note, and the memory came back flooding my mind. and so everyday, while i was on vaca, we got to know each other and ended up being close too, and take note the province has shitty wifi service/bad reception + i don’t touch my phone as often as i would have, but i still tried to reply whenever i can. she was always enthusiastic & flirty on chat 😭 our banters had this flirty undertone i couldn’t ignore but i also didn’t take any of it seriously.

i. did. not. take. any of it. seriously. and i was still on the healing journey from that one cosplayer guy who two-timed me with another girl, i was also infatuated on a classmate of mine whom i wasn’t even sure if i liked him or not. my feelings were just a total mess at that point, but after the vaca, i realised i might have started growing soft for her ever since we shared something personal about ourselves.

which still led to me thinking that oh, maybe she’s lonely? just wants to have a little company? i can do that. IF YOU’RE THINKING I HAVE AN AVOIDANT ATTACHMENT STYLE YOU ARE SO RIGHT but istg she makes me feel uncomfortably vulnerable???? like she would ask questions about me that deeply unsettles me with how … genuine she sounds, almost as if she mirrors me. i felt inspired by her too, i started going back to writing poetry (i had stopped bc of my trauma for the cosplayer dude), i became so disgusted of my 🚩🚩 tendencies e.g., ghosting, self-sabotage, avoiding people/shutting down that i just had to confront myself. she was so smart & talented & so infuriatingly funny i felt like i was backed into a corner with no way to escape, if that makes sense? she would pull me with just one message, kept checking my notifs every now and then, and even if i felt like not talking, somehow she makes me want to ramble about everything and anything.

her compliments, her flirting, her genuine and unfiltered thoughts, it was all too much for me. she nearly confessed too, which shook me to my core, yk i even ended up crying of overwhelming emotions i just told her to stop. i didnt want to acknowledge what was happening, or what’s going on between the both of us. it was my fault in the first place, when i sent a long sappy (sapphic) message thanking her for being real with me, that i respect her and admired her for who she is, i wanted to show my gratitude to her, and thinking abt it now, i feel like i was confessing to her. MY FAULT !!! it got awkward for a bit until it wasn’t and we just forgot about it after some time.

( also, not to promote my work, but this ? the title was based off on our conversation, she asked me why i liked the macabre & psychological horror games/visual novel and she just said “you’re weird girl. i like you” it was one of our first few times of interaction too jaksksjaksk )

( i also think i inspired her by encouraging her to make more guitar / song covers, and even posted another cover after enter sandman and literally tagged me AGHHHH SAYING ‘dedicated to: [redacted] UARGGGGG yk what the song is??? its mundo by iv of spades )

and then at the third week of july, august peeking around the corner, i was in the slumps for quite some time, shutting myself off from everyone including her. i felt tired & numb for some reason that even taking a glimpse of my phone felt like a tedious chore. and so i took the time to be offline and not tell everyone. when i felt a little better again, and checked my messages, it was full of her ☠️ she told me a bit about how she doesn’t like it when i go quiet, how she was confused and upset bc i wouldn’t let her in, she was directly confessing to me about her feelings and as to how i interpret it, she might have probably been thinking abt the near-confession as much as i was unsettled by it. she was just as confused as i was 🙁 and she doesn’t like this push and pull game we were having

she was actually very serious about me.

all the compliments and flirts and thoughts were all real. THE GUITAR COVER OF MUNDO DEDICATED TO ME WAS REAL AND SO AFTER THAT CONFESSION I KEPT REWATCHING IT AND BLUSHING EVERYTIME. and oh, i opened up to her abt what was happening on my part , got a little awkward AGAIN bc she didn’t mean to snap at me, didn’t know i was going through it, but she wanted to cheer me up with another song cover + sent a bunch of voice mails reassuring/comforting me (albeit awkward, which was funny)

after that, things felt different, direct and open but also … quite sudden. i can’t tell if we went slow but honestly, we made so much progress in just a span of a week, everyday i always learned something abt her, her learning something abt me, and at the end of the week — i asked her to go on a little cafe date with me <3 yk, just to make it more formal, since she clearly stated she wasn’t in for casual stuff. the cafe date was a BLISS but sooo short 🫠 it was my first time experiencing a date, an actual date, and oh my goodness we basically had unexpected gifts for each other too 😭 so we were exchanging gifts.

i went home screaming bc when i opened the bag it was a portrait of me which she drew it herself. her jewelry rings were all in my fingers, AND WE HUGGED BEFORE SHE WALKED ME TO MY GATE OAHKFJSJAKDJXJDJSHSJSJAHAH WE WERE BOTH GUSHING ABOUT IT ON CHAT IWHDHDJW and also i forgot to mention but she is so gorgeous???? SHE DOESNT POST ANY OF HER PHOTOS AND I CAN ONLY SEE HER FACE ON HER PROFILE, but my GOD she’s absolutely STUNNING irl.

she’s literally MY type and i only admitted that after the date. sassy, straightforward, reserved and stoic but only soft for me RGGDHDHXJSKAJSHSHS loves math/science/techy but is also so fucking talented & artistic — also a yearner…like me :)

drop the lore with your girl so we can be sad in wlw font style!!!

nonie i just woke up

[chisatowo]

Building just oh so elaborate glitter*green hcs in my head they may be near nonexistent at this point in canon but they're important in my heart ok

[grxcisxhy-wp]

𝖼.𝗁. | 𝗁𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖼𝖺𝗇𝗇𝗈𝗇

back to masterlist

pairing ; calum hood x bi!5sos!reader (MAIN), mention of previous harry styles x bi!5sos!reader, mention of unrequited/pining ashton irwin x bi!5sos!reader

summary ; Prequel ish headcannon of bi!5sos!reader based on this blurb

warnings ! my humor (so bad)

word count ; ~700

a/n ; guys, this is probably so bad, but bare with me. also, so sorry to anyone who is straight, but being bi is going to be part of the story later

I’m forcing you to be Australian, deal with it

When you were younger (about 11 years old) you moved into Calum’s neighborhood right across the street from him

And you know, puberty be hitting hard, so this man instantly gets a crush (cause you’re beautiful duh) and befriends you

But of course, he doesn’t say anything (for another few years)

You guys are each other’s closest friends, and you end up being each other’s first kiss (a classic)

The two of you will just play music together on the weekends or after Cal’s soccer practice

You play piano and guitar (and sing but we’ll get into that later)

The two of you meet Luke and Michael when you go into high school and you guys form the beginnings of 5sos

Luke and Michael quickly begin to feel like brothers to you

Then Michael Facebook messages Ashton

When you meet Ashton, you are a complete MESS

Like stuttering like an idiot because his humor just tugs at your heart strings and you’re crushing HARD

You tell Calum about it, obliviously hurting his feelings

poor fetus Calum :’(

but he still supports you

eventually your puppy love with ash goes away and you meet someone

someone that’s a GiRl (yes, you’re bi curious and we’re living for it)

you’re all confused that you feel this way about a girl and questioning your sexuality (as most do in high school)

nothing happens with the girl (nothing ever does… I’m not crying you are)

but you do confide in Calum that you find girls attractive

poor Calum is thinking you're gay, but you reassure him that you do still in fact find guys attractive too

Calum is super supportive and eventually convinces you to tell the rest of your band mates

they’re all supportive too

someone definitely makes a joke like “I don’t blame you. Girls are hot”

would probably be ash or Mikey

we love a good coming out story

anywayyyyy

you and the boys are making youtube covers and becoming quite popular

then the one direction tours

you practically melt when you meet Zayn and Harry (at least I would)

during the tours your management and 1d’s management decide to do a pr stunt with you and harry of a will they won’t they situation

ngl you and harry did hook up a few times after you turned 18 (sorry to those of you who do not like harry styles, which should be none of you)

calum is pretty much over his crush on you by the time the first album comes out (at least that’s what he says)

fans of the band kind of speculate that you might be bi when you sing lyrics like “you’re like the perfect mixture of megan fox and katy p” (greenlight underrated bop imo)

ofc the question comes up in interviews but you and the boys dodge ‘em like ninjas

you came out to the world on your terms during sounds live feels live tour

and this is frat 5sos era so just like them you’re pulling the ladies AND the gentlemen

you’re more discreet abt it tho cause we know how the media be about women who have multiple partners (the media is disgusting)

then there’s the hiatus

during this time, you get back to writing pieces with piano aka you’re the genius behind ghost of you and lie to me’s piano melody

during the writing process of youngblood is also when you and calum start becoming more than friends

you write why won’t you love me about him cause you’re oblivious that he likes you too

you show a demo of wwylm to luke (who is almost as close to you as calum now) and he convinces you to play it for the rest of band and put it on the album

this leads to feelings being confessed and you and calum end up together

you and calum date for about a year and a half before the unfortunate when will you be back blurb comes into play

and then you’re a mess, which is where I’ll be starting this series(??)

so yeah, lmk what moments you want to see like interviews and just relationship things and I’ll do my best to write them well