#have a cute kissing scene between two introverts

[alwayspining]

4 minutes (2024) l ep 4 l dir. Khom Kongpiat

[httpsryu]

b.f.s (best friend's sister) pt. 2

pairing: mo jihye x fem!reader

summary: it was always a thing, noticing your best friend's older sister. ever since you were a young girl.

category: strangers-to-friends-to-lovers au

genre: fluff, slight angst (?)

warnings: JEALOUSY, y/n is very much head over heels for jihye

a/n: thanks for the love on part 1 <3

clearing your throat and simultaneously tapping your feet, you dart your eyes between your best friend and her sister. both girls look down at their feet, avoiding your gazes at them.

"i mean if it wasn't a date, i don't get why you're so upset." maya blurts out her intrusive thoughts, earning a nudge in her stomach by her sister.

you deeply sigh, having jihye's concern pan towards you. why do you seem to care so much about that girl?

"it isn't about that." you respond with a worried expression. "you already know how introverted haerin is, you can't just randomly yell that out -- especially in a public setting."

your best friend rolls her eyes, your words going through one ear and coming out the other. "i was just genuinely excited for you."

"me?"

maya nods. "haerin is a cute and nice girl and you were complaining about how you hated being single, let alone get grossed out when boys try to court you. i just figured you'd want to try something new with a nice and cute person like her."

"i see. but maya you'd have to understand that me dating is my own personal matters, besides even though i always complain on how single i am, i still don't want to be in the dating scene yet." you explain, thankfully without blurting out that you have feelings for your best friend's sister.

a crush is a crush.

"y/n is young to date anyways." jihye backs you up, feeling a sour taste at the idea of you and haerin possibly becoming a thing.

maya groans loudly, putting her head back to be dramatic. "we're only a year younger than you!"

"still too young." jihye crosses her arms, wanting to not talk about nor think about you dating. (after all, she's just being a protective older sister.)

the younger mo rolls her eyes at how geeky and overprotective her sister is being, getting up from the ramp that she was sitting on to reach you. "y/n, let's go leave this oldie behind. she's getting on my nerves."

"HEY!"

shaking at your head at how immature the two siblings are being, you can't help but to stare over at jihye more. oh, how pretty she is in the sunlight with her natural curly hair falling perfectly right at her shoulders.

the way jihye could never stay mad at anyone ever, that's how much of a sweet and kind person mo jihye is.

"AHHH! save me!" maya runs behind you, using you as shield from her jihye unnie.

jihye huffs in frustration at maya using you for protection before picking up your backpack from the ground. "it's getting late, let's start heading back home."

slinging your backpack around her shoulders, she starts walking in front.

pretty

"hehe." your best friend giggles in victory, kissing your cheek and making sure to leave a big 'smooch' sound which grabs jihye to stop walking and bringing her attention to you two.

"we're coming! we're coming!" maya could not help but to let out another eye roll at the way her sister is acting today.

you wait for a bit, standing behind to see the other two walking. however, your sense of vision floods and linger over jihye. oh, how she looks pretty while YOUR backpack is around her back. she even walks pretty, how is one's beauty made so perfect?

mr and mrs. mo made jihye with love.

"what are you doing?" maya turns around, shielding her eyes from the sun with her hand to get a good look at you. "let's go!"

jihye turns around as well, her eyes basically smiling at you making you freeze and look off to the side of her face.

trying to play it cool, you let out a small laugh before running up to the both of them. to not over fluster yourself, you lean a bit more on maya's side.

this seems normal.

but, why does jihye want you closer to her? she can't help but to ask herself on why you seem to always draw a line between you and her? are you that uncomfortable around her? could it be because she's a year older than both you and maya?

with her hand clutching on one of the straps of your backpack, jihye distantly stares off into the streets, keeping quiet as she ponders on how to get closer to you.

it's only normal, right? you three basically grew up together, it's not weird at the fact she wants to become closer to you, right?

"isn't it strange that kyujin keeps leaving notes into someone's locker?" maya asks, wondering why one of their friends is trying to keep it a secret.

you can only hum in question, before trying to defend your friend. "i think it's honestly kind of cute."

"tch, so cheesy."

notes in a locker?

jihye patiently waits in front of your classroom, her hands gripping to the straps of her backpack while she looks down at her feet to calm her nerves down. she softly inhales and exhales, finding a steady breathing before your class ends.

"y/n." kyujin whispers to you across the classroom.

you struggle to drought down the lecture materials as you look up at your friend calling your name. "huh?"

you notice your friend making a weird jerking movement with her head, leaving you extremely confused and overstimulated due to the materials covered in class. "what?"

"look at the door." kyujin whispers back.

at your friend's words, you lazily dart your eyes to the door.

OH MY GOD??

at the sight of her, you immediately sit up in your seat, pretending to look studious in case she happens to peer inside the classroom. why could jihye possibly be here? and in front of your classroom?

and why does she look amazing in that grey sweats gym uniform? and her hair is so curly today, you can feel a sense of devotion just for her only. if only...she would see you the same way you see her.

jihye probably only saw you as a sister

all of a sudden, the urge for class to end disappears and you just want to stay seated at your desk FOREVER.

getting a quick glimpse of the clock, you internally start panicking as you curse out the clock for moving its hands too fast all of a sudden.

the second your teacher started to erase her work off of the whiteboard, the panic rises internally even more. class is ending soon and all of sudden, you want to stay here forever instead of facing your ongoing long term crush like an idiot.

everyone else in the class starts to put their workbooks away, having you start panicking even more and ultimately, you too put away your workbooks into your backpack with an anxious heartbeat racing.

you watch as everyone else disperse out the classroom, halting on purpose to still calm yourself down and figure out why jihye is out waiting here in front of your classroom.

"bye weirdo." kyujin sends you a flying kiss to which you shudder and grimace before she walks out the classroom.

jihye looks over, peering inside the classroom once the students exited out. she smiles softly at the way you're diligently taking the time to put away your workbooks and school supplies. jihye can't help but to admire a little bit of your features.

you look up from zipping up your backpack close, making direct eye contact with the older.

jihye smiles over at you, her pink rosy lips upturn with her signature lip gloss. you swore you could've felt your heartbeat stopped beating for a second at the smile. before you could even get straight back to what you were doing, jihye strides her way towards you.

OH MY GOD-calm down.

"hi unnie." you manage to say, calming down a bit while continuing to zip your backpack up.

the older lets out a soft hum. "hi y/n."

"w-what are you doing here?" you get out of your seat, asking her.

jihye pushes down the thought that you probably don't want to see her and manage a small smile at your question, grabbing your backpack and holding it. "maya is doing something for a project with her partner so i figured i would accompany you on your walk back home, if that's alright?"

alone? just the two of you? walking?

"y-yeah, that's alright." you softly smile at the older.

jihye gasps happily, nodding as she walks besides you out of the classroom, holding your backpack in her hand.

the silence is comforting yet it's killing you in the inside. only sounds of the both of you walking against the concrete ground could be heard. and strangely; you like it yet dislike it.

you only like it because walking with your crush is a blessing but you dislike it because what do you even do in this situation?

jihye admires your features a little longer, blatantly staring at you without knowing how it'd make you feel. frankly, jihye always found you perfect and adorable. (like a younger sister, right?) somehow; you look even more perfect in this sunlight.

'why is she staring at me so long like that?' you think to yourself, feeling nervous even more as the both of you continue to walk along a small trail to your neighborhood.

"so, you normally help out at the library?" jihye asks with a soft tender voice, smiling down prettily at you.

you let out a curt nod, diverting your eyes down at your feet to stop your cheeks from getting painted by a pink-hue. "haerin and i both help out at the library."

"ahh~ i see." jihye nods to herself, keeping that information stored into her brain. "so...this haerin. is she nice?"

jihye hopes she didn't sound too intruding for asking that question. why does she want to know so badly if haerin is nice to you or not?

you can only let out a shy nod in response.

jihye ignores the weird itchy feeling in the back of her throat, inhaling in deeply before speaking again. "that's...that's good."

the air falls silent again.

"y/n?"

you look up at her sweet voice calling your name, ignoring the way the soft vibrations of her voice affects your inner turmoil of emotions. "hmm, unnie?"

"umm...do you not like me?" jihye's voice is very gentle and quiet...with a sense of vulnerability seeping through.

god; if only she knows how much you like her. how much every glance she gives you make you feel overwhelmed and enthralled, giving you butterflies each time. or how much her voice calling your name out makes your heart pound in your chest.

"no...i do. why?" you compose yourself to be able to say those words.

jihye gazes down at you with a small smile, tilting her head. "you barely talk to me and when you do, only a few words are exchanged. you tend to be wary of your distance with me when i'm near you."

you sigh deeply silently, darting your eyes back to the ground, the cracks in the pavement looking more interesting than the face of the girl you've always had a crush on since you were seven.

jihye quietly observe you, waiting for your response.

"it's not that unnie..."

you sigh again, not knowing what to say to ease the older girl's mind.

"you just make me nervous..."

jihye's brows furrows at your words.

nervous?

"is it because i'm older than you?" the question comes out hesitantly from the older's lips, lingering in the air for a few seconds while the two continues walking.

you shake your head immediately. "n-no."

"is it because i'm maya's sister?"

"no."

jihye's lips changes into a small frown, her eyes full of curiosity. "then why do i make you nervous?"

before you could open your mouth to form a response to the older's question, a small bark and a scratch on your legs grab your attention. you glance down, seeing your family's beloved toy poodle. which means you've arrived home...

"ah~ looks like we've made it safely." the older smiles softly, putting distance between you two to give you space. "i'll let maya know i've taken you home safely."

you can only nod in response. "thanks unnie..."

"i'll see you around." jihye says, forcing a smile as she reluctantly turns around to start heading home.

thursday; at 5:30 pm is written down as the worse day in your entire life.

here you are, lying in maya's arms while she comforts you. her hand brushes through your hair while tears are pouring out from your eyes. it's dumb, really. to cry over someone who's probably only seen you as their little sister's best friend.

and yet; here you are...

all because you saw jihye hugging some cool girl who goes by the name of kim minji.

why does the world seems to punish JUST you?

"shh...it's alright..." maya soothes you, her tone in a hushed whisper.

she feels your tears subsiding as you sniffle softly.

"there, there...you're alright."

once you've managed to calm down and relax, maya slightly pulled back to take a look at you. her thumbs gently wiped around your tears.

"now, who made my darling cry?" maya asks in a small whisper.

how do you tell your best friend of ten years that you've had a crush on her older sister since the day you became friends?

you shake your head, worried of what maya would think if you told her.

before maya could open her mouth to respond back, the door of her room gets swing opened and there she is, jihye standing in the doorway with a concerned look.

"i...overheard on the way back to my room." jihye softly says, her eyes focus onto you. "is everything alright here?"

no. no. no.

it's as if her gentle and concerned voice makes it even worse and before you can stop yourself; a dam of tears starts to break.

oh boy, this will be a long night.

hey...hehe...sorry for the VERY late second part :( my laptop got stolen and i hate typing on my phone or ipad so i had to buy a new one...

prev

october 30, 2024; publishing date

taglist: OPEN

[minnies-duo]

DISCLAIMER!! This review was written for @k-fic-collection as this was our nsfw monthly read!!

check the undercut for my live notes and thoughts well reading<3

I love the dynamics already, the introverted gamer wonwoo, the extroverted model mingyu and I feel like we'll see reader be a good middle even though its a friday night party with gyu.

AWH JUN BEING A SWEETHEART nah i gotta kiss him :(

Yeah fuck that guy!! Also Blackpink Jennie mention?? maybe maybe hehe :P WHY IS WONWOO SO SMOOTH WITH CATCHING STUFF???? Kinda hot tf :/

I love the roommates dynamic omg. Like the teasing?? the openness?? im soft y'all this is cute :( wonwoo come pick me up at work with bubble tea after a hard shift please plaese please plase!!!

HIS FLIP UP??? why am i shy omg ><

JUSTICE FOR VERNON WHAT IS THIS??? I need the whole new years party story omg 12k enemies to lovers to enemies again who are also fwb or maybe ewb lmao

okok hyuna? what the fuck?? one job babes....ANYWAYS i love the big game big reward stakes with this double date.

I love that in the club scene for Hoshi's bday, I love love love that Wonwoo refers to reader AND Mingyu as both being taken by him. It isn't a thing of like "Oh I'm dating Y/n and Mingyu just happens to be in the same situation" No its "Y/n AND Mingyu are fake dating me, and im not gonna let some chick flirt with my loves".

also i gotta say that i appreciate the fuck outta the little chapter names that state the day and location. i feel like i struggle with keeping track of that so much so its just nice and easy for me which i appreciate :]

ok i kinda really locked in for the first sex scene so i cant remember any of my notes but DAMN THAT WAS GOOD "i can still walk y'all aren't done" i burst out laughing!! omg omg omg shower sex being held up between those two?? i can die happy ><

Not their bickering and reader having to tell them off lmao

that ending has got me so soft, giggling kicking my feet i absolutely loved it. it was a bit of a longer read but it never felt like it dragged on which i can appreciate. i really loved it and thank you for all yer hard work author<3

Anteric - Wonwoo & Mingyu

🌙 staring. Mingyu & Wonwoo x afab!Reader 

🔮 preview. when you bump into the guy that ghosted you, your model best friend and roommate, Mingyu, steps up to be your fake boyfriend for the night… and when the asshole is hired at your workplace, your other roommate, twitch gamer Wonwoo, is roped into the charade too - “polyamory exists dude, get over it.”

cw/ tw. 3some, dom/gamer/alt Wonwoo, Switch Mingyu, choking, spanking, handcuffs, slight pain kink, toys, vibrator, fingering, oral (f receiving), squirting, some overstim, nipple play, finger sucking, sex without condoms, some degradation, shower sex, multiple rounds, marking, jealousy, size kink, etc… I pet names. kitten, lazy bones, etc…

👹 rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 16.6

🍭 aus.frat au, roommates/friends to lovers, fake dating, non idol au, etc…

☀️ mlist + an. Anteric meaning: pertaining to a revenge against a former lover, a lover that betrays - this fic has been edited/updated as of dec 2022 with minor grammar changes and an optional bonus extension accessible through patreon :)

Prologue 

You collapse into the red, fold up, camping chair. Your fingers immediately go to pick at the burn mark on the right arm where Hoshi had let a marshmallow, that was lit on fire at the time, fall onto the fabric when you’d all camped out in the woods behind the frat after a semi formal last year for a reason you can’t quite remember now. “I broke up with Seungcheol.” 

“Then you need this more than we do.” Wonwoo’s smooth voice calms down your heart slightly, a reminder that although you’ve just made a huge change in your life, your friends are a constant. The frat boy holds out a bottle of Captain Morgans’ that makes you scrunch up your nose in disgust, pushing his hand back immediately.

“How can you two even drink that shit?” you groan, looking between Wonwoo and Mingyu, who’s lounging half slumped in his chair, head tilted back on the neck rest so he can look up at the stars above their frat house on the edge of campus. It’s a clear night, and when you sneak a glance up, you’re distracted by the moon.

“Chase,” Mingyu responds honestly, drawing your attention from the sky when a long arm extends the coke he’s been drinking out to you. His other hand twiddles with a lollipop he’s sucking on diligently in his mouth, and moonlight shows off the sloppiness of his tongue on the hard candy, twirling this way and that.

Keep reading

[finelinevogue]

Obsessed with your imagines you so when they have 3 kids and they’re all older! What about one where Harry has to have a sex talk with his kids OR y/n and Harry come home to find their kids throwing a party? I think both could be super funny

this has me excited cause i love the idea of them throwing a party when y/n and harry are at date night!! (does contain smut)

oli - 21, felix - 19, belle - 16

“We’re so fucking screwed.”

“Belle, for the millionth time, chill the fuck out.”

But how the fuck was anyone supposed to be chill when there was a full-on house party, close to being a rave, occurring in their house? A house that was their mum’s life work. A house party that their parents new nothing about. A night where absolutely anything and everything could go wrong.

The three siblings stood at the bottom of the stairs, in front of the door, looking around at the scenes occurring between each room. There were girls whispering to each other on the sofas, there was a group of guys playing beer pong in the kitchen and there was a large group of people hanging around by the pool and some even taking a dip. What had meant to be a low-key party had managed to turn into the whole neighbourhood plus the next town over. It was completely overboard.

“Who’s idea was this again?” Belle asked, clearly not understanding the full reasoning behind a full fledged party in their house.

“All of ours.” Oli responded, when in reality it was really just his, and a bit of Felix, idea.

“Nope. I’m not getting grounded because you two dickheads wanted to be rebels.” Belle put her hands up as if to stop this whole situation. She did not want to be a part of this and yet had somehow got screwed up with it all.

“So what are you going to do?” Felix asked.

“Anywhere where this doesn’t have my name stamped all over it.” Belle gestured around her, all of them groaning when they heard something smash from a nearby room. They were actually going to be locked up forever after this.

“Belle, mum and dad are out for the night. Dad said he booked a hotel for them to stay over at, so they won’t even be back until tomorrow morning.” Oli explained, trying to calm down his very nervous sister.

“Yeah, plus if you’re so insistent on leaving why did you get so dressed up?” Felix did have a point. Belle had gone through the effort tonight to be looking as best she could. She was sporting a little black dress with black fishnet tights and her trusty Doc Martens. It was a very colourful outfit, as she would explain. Belle had even gone to the effort of adding glue-on gems to her makeup. Whereas her brothers were just wearing sweaters and trousers and trainers. Typical teenage boys.

“I’ll bet that’s why.” Oli nodded behind Belle and smirked as he watched his little sister turn around.

Megan Dover. Belle’s high school crush and cleverest person in the year. Felix and Oli caught Belle blush when their little sister looked at Megan, waving to her cutely. Belle was a lot more introverted than Megan, but Belle didn’t mind. She admired that Megan was so outspoken and kind and smart, but too bad they didn’t truly know of Belle’s existence. At least, not really.

“Alright fine, i’ll stay, but just don’t say I didn’t warn you.” Belle rolled her eyes and then walked off in the direction of the kitchen - if she was ever going to speak to Megan she’d need at least 4 shots in her system.

“Be safe little B.” Oli waved her off and then the two brothers looked at each other knowingly. “Is Heather here?”

“Not yet no, think she’s coming with the girls in a bit.” Felix checked his phone as his brother questioned him. “What about Bea?”

“She’s upstairs.”

“Why? I thought we weren’t allowing anyone upstairs?”

“Dude she’s my girlfriend, I think she gets a pass.” Oli patted his brothers back and then saunters up the stairs two at a time to go and find his girlfriend and reintroduce her to the party.

Another smash of something glass sounding came from the kitchen, along with a turn of screams and mumbles of oops.

“Fuck, we are so screwed.” Felix muttered under his breath as he made his way to the kitchen to clean up whatever was now broken.

••••

Meanwhile, you and Harry were basking in each other’s presence at a fancy new restaurant downtown called Caste Inn.

Harry decided it was time for you to have a treat and so was taking you out for dinner and then retreating to a fancy hotel, where he would not let you rest for the whole night. He was already being really handsy this evening, but you kept swatting his prying hands away because you were in public.

“Babe, c’mon i’m dying here!” He whined as you swatted his hand away from the skirt of your dress for the fifth time since mains. You were lucky you were in a crescent shaped booth so it was hard for anyone to see what was going on underneath the table, but you still felt so exposed.

“Quit it Harry.” You sniped, returning your attention back to the desserts menu. The restaurant was that kind of place where the portions are sparrow sized and yet cost you as much as it would to donate a kidney, so there was no surprise that you were still hungry and had room for dessert.

“Just wanna love on my wife.” He pouted next to you, keeping his arm slunk around the back of the booth to continue to caress your far shoulder delicately.

“We’re in the middle of a restaurant, you’re crazy.” You snickered, trying your hardest to focus on the desserts; Tiramisu, Chocolate Orange Gateau, Pecan Pie, Creme Brulé and an endless list of more mouthwatering yumminess.

“Fucking crazy for you, yes.” He kissed your cheek once, twice and then bit it too on the third, making you moan slightly at the exposure of it all. “You used to let me do this kind of thing all the time, what happened hey?”

“I got old.” You laughed, but really you felt saddened by the thought of it. You were approaching your forties and you felt as though time wasn’t on your side anymore. Life was all flying by so fast and it was becoming so hard to stop it for a moment to see how beautiful it all is. Harry could tell you were faking your happiness in that moment and he hated that you felt this way. He loved you. He would worship the ground you walk upon. Nothing would ever be too much of an ask for him if it meant keeping your happy. Yes, you were getting older, but it didn’t mean that was a bad thing. At least you were getting older together and becoming maturer together.

“Talk to me, love.” He gently asked, knowing there was something on your mind that was bothering you.

“I just… I just feel like i’m getting older—”

“You are love, yes.” He interrupted you, which earned him a slap to the thigh. He didn’t let your hand go though, leaving it to rest on his tight thigh.

“And then suddenly that’s going to be it. No more Y/N.”

“Don’t say things like that to me, please love.” Harry shook his head, squeezing your hand a little tighter.

“And I feel like i’ll have regretted not doing so many things. Like I won’t have lived my life.”

“Things like?”

“Things like riding a motorcycle with you. Things like staying up all night with a bottle of wine and a good bit of Elvis. Reckless things, like skinny dipping or crashing a high school party. Things like, having my husband finger fuck me in a public restaurant. I remember when everything seemed so free and chaotic and I loved it. Now I feel stuck.”

“Stuck how, love?” Harry leaned in closer to you, his eyes full of love and determination because if that’s what you wanted he could give you all those things - especially the orgasm.

“I’m a mum, H. You’re a dad. We’re parents,m. Good ones at that. Aren’t we supposed to be grown up and responsible now? We don’t get to take risks anymore, because we have a family right? God, I sound so pathetic.” You sighed and put the menu down, not thinking about which pudding you wanted to fill yourself up with anymore.

“Babe. If you want to ride a motorcycle and go skinny dipping then let’s fucking do it. Why are you so afraid to hold back? Because we have kids, because darling believe me when I tell you - however much it disturbs me - our kids are out doing just as many reckless and crazy things as we used to do. Maybe we should fuck the prestigious system and show our children, all parents - including us - that adulthood, parenthood, doesn’t define the choices you make. We do.”

You couldn’t stop looking at your husband, drinking in every last drop of his beauty. His words filled your heart with rose petals and chocolates, warming you up delightfully. God, you were so lucky to have him. He helped you through the most toughest of times and continued to stick with you, not because a ring says he has to, but because he loves you. Undeniably and irrevocably loves you.

That was all it took for you to comply.

Quickly, you moved one of your legs under the table cloth so it draped over Harry’s thighs and made an opening between your legs. The cloth hid everything well, along with the dirty napkins that sat upon your laps.

“Wh- what are you doing love?” Harry asked confused, after not hearing a word back from you for his earlier speech.

“Harry I love you, I do, but will you just shut up and fuck my pussy with your fingers already.” You whispered wetly against his ear with your lips. He groaned at the words and tightened his grip around your leg, widening the gap he had to work with.

His hand slid underneath your dress slowly, squeezing the flesh of your thighs in tease, until he got to where your panties were. Or at least where they should be.

“Shit, you’re not wearing any pants?” Harry asked quizzically, pushing his fingers against your glistening pussy and feeling just how ready you were for him.

“Oh fuck!” You muffled out before Harry quickly slapped your slit because you were making too much noise, which only then made you squeal a bit more. He slapped your cunt hard enough the second time for you to get the memo that you needed to be quiet - but fuck was that a challenge. As much as you can be quiet, you just don’t like to be. You like knowing that your moans and whines turn Harry in even more, just as much as you love hearing his.

“Fucking hell, soaked already.” His fingers toyed with the folds of your cunt, feeling how puffy they were between his ringed fingers. “Gotta be quiet for me okay?” Just as he started pushing his delicious fingers inside of you, the waiter turned up at the table with a cheery face and not a bouncing clue what was happening between the two of you.

“Desserts?” He asked politely with his charming smile, but you didn’t see it for too long before having to close your eyes shut at the sudden movement of Harrys fingers. He wasn’t stopping on the waiters behalf, in fact he was more forcefully going for it. He moved his fingers in circles inside of you, thumbing over your clit in the way he knew you desired most. He was insatiable.

Reckless.

“No, just the bill please. Need to take my wife home to take care of some things.” Harry spoke for you both, not understanding why he was being so open with the amount of information he was giving away. But fucking hell you didn’t care because his fingers were providing you pleasures beyond reason.

“Yes Sir. I’ll only be two minutes.” He smiled again before he was gone, taking the menus with him.

“Here that baby?” Harry whispered into your ear, moving his fingers more freely now there was less of an audience, “you’ve got two minutes to cum.”

“Wha—”

Questioning his authority would have to wait, for Harry got to work very quickly and perfectly. His fingers slicked in and out of you so erotically and if it wasn’t for the live music and loud chatter of the room, the sounds of his fingers driving in and out of you would be heard by everyone. His fingers curled to all the right places, touching the most sensitive parts of your walls and hell did it feel blissful.

“I’d say you’ve got about a minute left baby, and I think you can cum for me before then. Can’t you? Or am I not good enough for that kind of release anymore?” Harry taunted you and pressed wet kisses to your ear. You were too lost in euphoric paradise to notice, or even care, whether anyone could see or was watching you both. You were too focused on your husband. Your Harry.

“N-no. I can cum. You’re so good - shit - so g-good.” You stammered out, breathless from the air stolen from your lungs because of this erotic moment. This was so bad behaved of you both that you were starting to get a high off of it.

“Cum for me then baby. Do it. I’ve got you.” He kissed your lips to capture the moan that trailed off your tongue as you reached your high. You felt so high and yet so safe. Harry steadied you as your legs shook and kissed you senseless, to quieten your whines. He admired that you had been so willing for this and he would be lying if he said he didn’t have a raging hard-on right now.

“I love you,” you raced out quickly, “I love you.”

“I love you, Y/N.” He kissed your lips again and withdrew his fingers from your dripping cunt. You picked up a napkin but he quite quickly took it away from you, throwing it to the other side of the table.

“What are you doing?” You whisper shouted, needing to clean yourself up.

“More like what are you doing?”

“Cleaning my mess.” You said frustratedly.

“Leave that to me.” He spoke whilst holding intense eye contact with you, bringing his fingers that were coated in your arousal to his lips and sucking them dry. Every last drop worked its way into his mouth and he salivated at the taste - the smell.

“Harry—”

“The bill Sir.” The waiter interrupted you without knowing. Harry took out his wallet and used his card on the card machine, before signing his name on the cheque as if to affirm that he has paid.

“Thank you.” Harry spoke kindly, completely different to how he was with you all but two minutes ago.

“Thank you Sir, Ma’am. Have a lovely rest of your evening.” And he wad gone again with his smile.

Harry turned to you with the largest grin on his face, “Oh we will.”

••••

“Oli stop eating the leftover lasagne it’s for mums lunch!”

Belle was rushing around trying to chill everything down. The party was so out of control that even Oli and Felix were wasted. Megan was blowing hot and cold with her too, so she had no idea where she stood with them.

People were everywhere. Too many people that it was becoming claustrophobic. Felix was currently playing beer pong with a group of his friends, Heather attached at his hip, whilst Oli was sitting on the kitchen countertop eating cold lasagne. The boy was like chuffing Garfield. Belle was doing her best to keep calm, but as the night progressed it started to become worse and worse as it got harder to control.

As Belle turned to leave the kitchen, her brother clearly not listening to her, she bumped into someone. Kyle. Fucking Kyle. The guy who had obsessed over her to the point where Harry was seriously considering getting a restraining order on him to protect his daughter. He was a straight A creep and Belle hadn’t even realised he’d been invited to this party. Then again, over half of these people had most definitely not been invited.

“Oh hey Isabelle.” He stressed her whole name, knowing how much she hated it. Well, she didn’t hate her name she just hated him saying her name.

“Go away Kyle.”

“But I just got here.”

“And now you can just leave. Party’s ending anyways.” Belle stood her ground, but her hands were shaking from being even remotely close to this guy. He was disgusting to the point where if you were stuck between having to choose between being with him or eating mouldy cheese, you’d eat the cheese on a fucking silver platter.

“Looks quite alive to me.”

“Well i’m shutting it down and you’re going to leave. Now.”

“You need to liven up Belle.” Kyle chuckled through his nose, making him look scary as he towered over Belle, “let me help you.” He leaned forwards to grab her arm but she was quick to push him away.

“No! Leave me alone!” Belle shouted, trying to dodge around him but he was quicker. He grabbed her arm tight and pulled her back to him, chest touching chest. “Get off me Kyle.” Belle squirmed in his hold, which only made Kyle happier - the creep.

“C’mon Bella, live a little.”

“My name’s not Bella and I told you to get the fuck off of me.” Belle pulled back with all her might, whilst kicking him square in the balls - probably hard enough so he’ll never be able to have children - and then drove her knee up to crack his nose - successfully. Damn, that felt good. Heavily badass, actually.

“You fucking psycho!” Kyle held his nose and his balls in pain, straightening himself up as if to launch himself with fury at Belle. Luckily for her the outburst between the pair had caught attention of people - including Oli and Felix.

Oli was quick to step in front of Kyle, Felix just behind him. “You dare lay a fucking finger on my sister and I swear to you you’ll regret it.” Oli threatened, fists curled tight at his sides.

Heather came to hug Belle, comforting as she cried through the after shock of the situation. She’d been so brave and handled herself so well though. “You okay?” She kindly asked.

“Y-yeah.” No.

Everyone was now watching. The music had been muted to the point where you could tell it was playing but you couldn’t tell which song it was. Friends of Oli and Felix were standing close by in case things got messy, which normally only happened between the two brothers and not this way. Doors could be heard opening and shutting as people came in and out from places to watch the debacle occur between the hosts of the party and the unwelcome visitor. Oli and Felix knew they had to be careful though, because one wrong video and it could badly effect their dad’s career. Belle shook in Heathers arms and wished this nightmare of an evening to be over.

“Oh the whore’s not worth it anyways.” Kyle laughed, rolling his eyes as he pointed towards Belle.

“The fuck did you just call my daughter?”

Oh fucking shit balls.

“Dad?” Belle asked warily, seeing his dad stood in the doorway of the front door, her mum standing close behind him with her hand tightly clutched to his. As much as Belle was terrified that her parents had busted them, she also felt safe in their presence.

“Oh and here comes perfect-dad-of-the-year Harry Styles to the rescue.” Kyle teased which made Felix move forward in protest of his words.

“Fix.” Harry sternly called his name, making his son stop and look towards his dad who was shaking his head with a soft smile. Harry walked over towards Belle first, you still clutched tightly to him. “You alright?” He asked sincerely, not looking cross or disappointed at all. Belle nodded quickly and kept her head pressed to Heather’s chest. Harry turned to see his boys, raising his eyebrows to wordlessly ask them the same question to which they nodded too.

Harry dropped your hand, leaving you to stand with your sons, and left your forehead with a kiss before making his way to Kyle. “You okay boys?” You asked again, even though you knew Harry just asked.

“Yeah. Are you mum?” Oli asked, coming to wrap his arm around his mums neck to comfort her. He was so kind and thoughtful, just like his dad.

“Listen up, Kyle.” Harry started, keeping a good distance between him and the boy, “If you ever come near my family again i’m ordering a restraining order. That’s not a threat, it’s a promise. If you break that order you’ll be going to jail. Big league jail too. Again not a threat, a promise. So you’re going to leave my house, this property in its’ entirety and go home to sit in your room and think about whether you would prefer to be in a prison cell instead. Do you understand?”

Okay, you’d be lying if you said his authority didn’t turn you on.

“Y-yeah.” Kyle mumbled pathetically.

“I said do you understand?” Harry repeated again, clearly not satisfied with the answer given.

“Yes Mr Styles.” Kyle said more surely, before scramming from the house, from the party and from the neighbourhood.

“Now everyone out of my house before I call the police.” Everyone knew how that was not an empty threat and dashed out of his house. Some looked at him in awe, because this was probably their once and only chance of being in the presence of the Harry Styles. He sighed as he walked to the kitchen, leaning against the kitchen counter to think.

“Should we—” Belle started to talk but you cut her off.

“No, hunny. Let me go talk to your dad. You lot,” referring to your children and girlfriends who’d kindly stayed behind in support, “can go fetch some bin liners and start cleaning this all up.” You pointed around to the mess that was your house, before walking off to the kitchen.

You looked around at the mess. A broken vase. Litter everywhere. Half-drunken drinks left on the table. Bottle openers you definitely didn’t own before tonight. Trousers? You couldn’t help but giggle at the surrounding sight.

“What’s got you laughing?” Harry asked, still in his fancy shoes and fancy coat, you still in your fancy heels and your fancy coat. Yet, you were both standing in what looks like a garbage dump site. Harry moved his hand away from his face and looked at you with a blank expression.

“You were right!” You laughed.

“Your reaction as if that’s a bloody miracle, love, which kind of an ego crush, but continue.” He rolled his eyes and you rolled yours in response. You clicked your way over to him and wrapped your arms around his waist, he kept his wrapped around his own obviously still closing himself off.

“Our kids are being reckless and crazy.” You recalled dinners earlier conversation, smiling up at him in admiration.

“I didn’t actually mean it, it was just a quick way to make you feel better.” He groaned in frustration.

“Well gee thanks babe!” You laughed at the whole irony of this situation. “Harry, babe, look at me,” you had to used your hand to turn his cheek to face you, stroking his cheek to calm him, “adulthood - parenthood - doesn’t define the choices we have to make. We do. And our children, apart from that last little bit, seemed like they had the most freeing and most brilliant night yet! Let them be reckless H. Let them make mistakes. Just because this happened doesn’t make us bad parents, and it doesn’t make us bad parents if we decide no punishment—”

“Ha like that’s going to happen!” Harry cut you off and you glared at him to just shut up.

“Just shut up, you oaf. Let the kids live while they’re young.”

“You did not just reference one of my songs.” Harry looked to the ceiling as he smiled widely, before shortly laughing at how cheesy that was. “Oh my god Y/N!”

“What? Was is that bad?”

“Yes, babe. Yeah it really was.” He looked back down at you to see you smiling and he couldn’t help but cup your cheeks and kiss you silly. His perfect lips fit yours and you tasted him until you couldn’t breathe. “I love you.”

“I love you. Now go help clean up.” You ordered him, making him look at you confused.

“What the hell have I done to deserve this?”

“You booked the hotel for next weekend instead of this weekend you div. Now go.” You smacked his backside and he strolled back over to you and pushed you into the counter. You gasped at the sudden motion.

“Do that again and let’s see what happens.” He whispered dangerously against your lips.

“Go clean up and then see what’s waiting in our bedroom.” You bit your lip and tugged Harry’s hand to under your dress, giving him only a slight feel of how wet you were before letting his hand go and walking away.

“Kids, hand me a bloody bin bag. Now!”

[clarichoupie]

I can't get my cousin to see that Ryan and Dylan are flirting together! She literally can't see the love between them.... for real. And she mostly spends her time saying that Ryan is awful. So.... here is a selection of her best comments x) :

Why doesn't this guy ever open his mouth?! His actor didn't understand how to have facial expressions or what?

*Takes her sock to make a puppet* : Hi, I'm Ryan, I'm really happy to be alive...

What do you mean he's cute?! He's clearly super creepy! Look at that psycho face! (I replied that the poor darling was just unable to communicate properly and very introverted but this argument doesn’t seem to work)

No but seriously, he'll end up doing something or what? He has as many expressions as a dead mussel!

(As a last resort I ended up showing her the scene where they were kissing but...) Where is the chemistry between these two?! He could kiss a tree trunk that it would be the same shit!

Anyway, I understood that all this was useless, and after much laughter, I gave up. x)

Conclusion: Everyone likes the characters they want; spread love around you and not hate because there's no point in arguing about each other's tastes. ♡ I love Ryan and will continue to love him... that’s all! ^^

[fruitcoops]

Could you maybe write a “73 questions with Sirius Black” Vogue one? Or something like that.

Yes! I had never seen these videos before and it was a fun challenge to write. Hope you enjoy! Sweater Weather credit goes to @lumosinlove!

The house is large, two stories tall and painted a soft gray with white trim around the windows. Holiday lights have yet to be taken down and shine in all colors of the rainbow from the eaves as the camera crew walks up the front steps. The curtains in the window tremble for a moment, then a dog pokes her head through—she is all-black and curious, and looks quite large.

Dorcas Meadowes knocks on the front door; a moment later, it swings open and reveals Sirius Black. “Hey, guys, come on in! You can leave your shoes by the door inside.”

“Thanks, Sirius.” Dorcas kicks off her flats and follows him inside as he sets a dish towel on the end table and leans against it. “How are you today?”

“I’m doing pretty well. Morning practice was productive and I’m feeling good about our upcoming game.”

“We’re here today to ask you 73 rapid-fire questions while you lead us around. Sound good?”

“Sounds good. You can all come inside instead of freezing on the porch,” he laughs, waving them closer. The door shuts with a gentle click.

“First question: on a scale of 1-10, how excited are you about life right now?”

“Hmmm. A solid seven.”

“Do you have any pets?”

“I do!” Sirius leads them into the other room, where the dog is curled up on the couch below the window; he picks her up and gives her a kiss on the head. “This is Hattie and I love her very much.”

“Cute! If you could do a dramatic love scene in a movie with anyone, who would it be?”

Sirius sets the dog down and thinks for a second. “Aside from my fiancé, I’m going to say James Potter. We would kill it and I don’t think it would be that awkward.”

“What’s the origin of your name?”

“Pretty much my whole family has star-themed names. Sirius is the dog star from Canis Major.”

“Brightest star in the sky, too. What’s one thing people don’t know about you?”

“I’m an introvert. Lots of people assume that I’m super social because of my job, but I’m very quiet in real life.” He walks back out to the entrance and takes the towel off the table, then moves into the kitchen. It’s well-lit and painted a deep, warm red. The countertop is scattered with knickknacks and picture frames—clearly, this is a place people spend a lot of time. Hattie, who followed them in, lays down by the oven with a heavy sigh.

“What’s your wakeup ritual?”

Sirius reaches up and pulls two mugs out of the cupboard. “I wake up around seven am and make coffee while Re is in the shower, then rinse off and get dressed while he makes breakfast. It’s a good system. Want some tea?”

“Sure. What’s your bedtime ritual?”

“I don’t think I have one,” he says as he puts the kettle on and ignites a burner on the stove. “Usually we read or watch a movie, then go up to bed and talk for a while. There’s not a big routine or anything.”

“Sounds nice. What’s your favorite time of day?” Dorcas sits on the other side of the kitchen island while he takes a box of peppermint tea down.

“That’s a tough one. I like the in-between spots, like just after sunrise or dusk. Three in the afternoon is usually pretty chill as well. Does anyone else want a cup?”

There are a few murmurs behind the camera and he takes two more down. “What is one thing no one knows about you?” Dorcas asks.

He raises an eyebrow. “If I told you, everyone would know, and it wouldn’t count.”

“Fair enough. Dream country to visit?”

“Anywhere. I think I want to go to Ireland first, though.” Small wisps of steam begin curling out of the kettle, but it doesn’t whistle.

“Do you ever feel pressure to post things on social media?”

Sirius makes a face. “I used to. Eventually I just got tired of it, you know? The whole point of social media is sharing bits of your life with people and it makes me happy to show off my dog, or Re, or my friends. I post things just for fun now.”

The kettle begins to hiss and he reaches back to turn it off. “Sneakers or skates?”

“Skates.”

“Vintage or new?

“Vintage, especially for t-shirts and sweaters.”

“Who is your biggest role model?”

“Pascal Dumais.” Sirius stops pouring for a moment to look up at the camera. “If you ever get a chance to meet him, listen to what he has to say. You’ll be better for it.”

“Wise words. How do you deal with negativity? Oh, thank you.” Dorcas wraps her hands around the mug and takes a small sip while Sirius passes the other ones to the crew.

“Honestly? I don’t give a shit. It used to really bother me, but I’m happy, I have a job I love, and my family cares about me. Why should I care what people I’ve never met think of me?” He sits on the counter and rests his elbows on his knees, blowing on the hot water.

“What are three things you can’t live without?”

“My dog, Remus, and my family.” There is no hesitation in his voice.

“Not hockey?”

“I’d be devastated if I couldn’t play, sure, but it’s not the central focus of my life anymore.”

“What’s one ingredient you put in everything?”

“Does salt count?” He winces as he takes a drink. “Ugh, burned my tongue. I put salt on a lot of things because I drink so much water that it throws my balance off.”

“What is something you’re completely bored of right now?”

Sirius rolls his eyes. “Gossip columns and tabloids in general.”

Dorcas hums in agreement. “What’s your biggest fear in life?”

“Losing my loved ones.”

“Window or aisle seat?”

“Window. Anyone walking by always steps on my foot or hits my elbow if I’m in the aisle. Plus, I get a good view and an easy nap spot.”

“What’s your current TV obsession?”

“Avatar: The Last Airbender, which I’m watching for the third time already.” He shakes his head. “It’s just so good.”

“Favorite app?”

He takes a second to think. “Spotify.”

“Secret talent?”

Sirius looks at her over the rim over his cup. “This is going to shock you. Ready?”

“Ready.”

“Hockey.”

“You’re the worst.” Despite her words, Dorcas smiles. “What the most adventurous thing you’ve done in your life?”

“Uh, probably going to Europe with some of the guys last year. We had a lot of fun, but it was crazy.”

“I can imagine it was. How would you define yourself in three words?”

“Tall, dark, and handsome.”

“And apparently not humble,” Dorcas teases. “Favorite piece of clothing?”

“Hoodies.”

“Clothing item everyone should have?”

“Hoodies.”

A door opens behind them and the camera turns; Remus walks out of the basement, covered in sweat as he wipes his forehead with the hem of his shirt and holds his skates in his other hand. “Baby, have you seen…” he trails off when he sees the group of people in the kitchen. Hattie’s tail thumps on the floor. “Um. Hello.”

“Hey, Remus, how are you doing?” Dorcas asks mildly.

The camera pans out to catch both Sirius, who is laughing quietly, and Remus, who flushes pink. “I’m good. I thought you were coming at ten?”

“It’s ten-thirty, sweetheart,” Sirius says, hiding his smile in his tea.

Remus glances at the clock before giving an awkward nod and walking toward the stairs. “I guess I’ll take a shower, then. Sorry about that. Uh, carry on.”

“What’s a superpower you would want?” Dorcas asks as soon as he disappears.

Sirius shakes his head with a grin. “Uh, teleportation. That would be really cool.”

“What’s inspiring you in life right now?”

“Ah, une grande question.” He thinks, then tilts his head toward the staircase. “Moments like that. And the Stanley Cup, of course.” He reaches back and knocks on the wooden cupboard.

“What cause is closest to your heart?”

“LGBT+ rights, especially trans rights. I’m privileged enough to have a platform and I intend to be loud as hell about that.”

“Good.” Dorcas sets her almost-empty mug on the table. “What’s one thing you’d say to your teenage self?”

Sirius lets out a long breath and drums his hands on the light blue ceramic of his cup. “I would say…it gets better. It really, really does. You’re going to feel super shitty for just a little bit longer, but then I promise you will be so incredibly happy that you wake up every morning and it hits you all over again.”

Dorcas nods, and the kitchen is quiet for a moment. “What’s a book that everyone should read?”

“The Hobbit, by J.R.R Tolkien.”

“What would you like to be remembered for?”

“This is going to sound so corny, but I want to be remembered for just being a good person.”

“That’s not corny. How do you define beauty?”

“Remus Lupin.”

“That’s corny,” she laughs, making him smile. “What do you love most about your body?”

“I’m a big guy, which can be a little bit intimidating, but it means I give really great hugs. I’m sure everyone saw the video that went around a while ago.”

“Cap Cuddles?”

He snorts. “Right. You’ve got Finn O’Hara to thank for that.”

“In your opinion, what’s the best way to take a rest or decompress?”

“Being alone,” Sirius says. “There is literally nothing better than getting home and sitting down with a book or something while I can hear Re doing his own thing and Hattie’s napping. It’s one of my favorite parts of the afternoon.”

“That’s the most introverted thing you’ve ever said.” Dorcas grins and finishes her tea just as a faint beeping noise begins in another room. “What’s your favorite way to experience art?”

“Through music, for sure.” He slides off the counter and walks down the hall, leading them toward the laundry room. He gives the camera crew a look as he pulls dry clothes out of the machine and heads back to the living room. “What? Did you think I didn’t do my own laundry?”

“You lost a sock,” Dorcas informs him, picking it off the ground and laying it on top of his head.

“Thanks, D.”

“What question do people ask that you wish they wouldn’t?”

“Lots of people have asked me when I decided to be gay, which is wrong on so many levels.”

“If you could master one instrument, what would it be?”

“Guitar or piano.” He dumps the load of laundry on the couch and opens the back door, holding it for the crew as they walk out into the sunshine. Hattie weaves through their legs and disappears into the bushes along the back.

“I might have to take your dog home with me. If you had a tattoo, where would it be?”

Sirius mock-glares at her. “Let me have my girl! Um, I would love to have a tattoo somewhere on my arm.”

“This might be a hard one. Dolphins or koalas?”

“Oh, that is hard. Probably dolphins. The ocean is terrifying but those little guys are just having a blast.”

“What’s the best gift you’ve ever received?” Dorcas asks as he picks up a tennis ball and throws it across the yard. Hattie emerges from the bushes and races after it in a blur of black fur.

“An engagement ring.”

“Yeah, it was.” Remus walks into the backyard and kisses Sirius’ cheek before bending down to catch Hattie in his arms. His hair is still damp from the shower. “Hello, sweet girl!”

“Who’s your favorite musician?”

“Queen.” Sirius laughs at her surprised look. “I’m gay, what did you expect?”

“True. What’s your favorite board game?”

“Monopoly.” Remus and Hattie disappear from the frame, but the bouncing sound of the tennis ball creates some background noise and Sirius watches them for a moment with pure affection.

“Favorite color?”

“Blue.”

“Least favorite color?”

“Orange.”

“Bowties or knot ties?”

He frowns. “Don’t they all have knots?”

“Smartass.”

“Yep! Uh, regular ties.”

“Bowties are superior!” Remus calls.

“Get your own questions!” Sirius laughs.

“Going off your music answers: records or CDs?”

“I don’t own a lot of records, so I’m going to have to go with CDs. I love the way vinyl sounds, though.” His eyes widen as he looks to the side. “Are you okay?”

“Fine,” Remus wheezes. “I didn’t need those ribs anyway.”

“For the viewers, the dog just football-tackled him into the grass,” Sirius says, and Dorcas snorts.

“Your hair is famously luscious. Blow-dry or air-dry?”

“Air dry.”

“Coffee or tea?”

“Coffee, but tea is nice in the evenings.”

“What’s the weirdest word in the English language?”

Sirius laughs. “There are so many. Uh, ‘jeez’ is the one that comes to mind first.”

“What about the French language?”

“Oiseaux,” he says in a crisp accent. “It means ‘birds’, and you pronounce about three of the actual letters.”

“Good to know. Do you prefer dark chocolate or milk chocolate?”

“Dark chocolate.”

“Stairs or elevators?”

“Elevators. I don’t want to walk up three floors after playing hockey for two and a half hours.”

“Summer or winter?”

Sirius bites his lip in thought as they walk around the yard, where small flowers line the fence in beds and colorful pots. “I love summer because I have actual free time to be with my friends, but winter is hockey season. I don’t know, next question.”

“What’s a dessert you don’t like?”

“I’m not a huge fan of caramel. It’s too sticky.”

“A skill you’re working on mastering?”

“Will you ban me from more interviews if I say hockey?”

“Yes.”

“In that case, I’m working on keeping plants alive, as you can probably see.” He taps the nearest flowerpot gently with his foot; it has ‘Harry’ painted across it in sloppy blue letters. “My godson made that for my birthday.”

“What’s the best thing to happen to you today?”

“This, for sure,” he says with a smile. “I haven’t seen you and Marley in ages.”

“We missed you, too. What’s the worst thing that happened to you today?”

He pouts slightly. “Burning my tongue on tea.”

“Hugs or kisses?”

“Hugs! Though I’ll accept kisses from a few very specific people.”

“Do you have a favorite smell?”

He pauses and cranes his neck to look behind the cameras. “Re?”

“Yeah?”

“What shampoo do you use?”

“Uhhh…” There’s a moment of quiet. “It’s something with lavender, I think.”

Sirius turns back to Dorcas. “Something with lavender.”

“How specific,” she laughs. “What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?”

He smiles to himself. “There was a young woman, maybe sixteen or seventeen, that came to one of the games earlier this season. I saw her standing with a puck and went over, and while I was signing it she looks at me and says, ‘you are exactly what I wish my older brother was like’. Turns out, she was bisexual and her brother wasn’t super accepting of her. That was…” He shakes his head. “That meant the world to me. I’ll never forget it.”

“You’ve definitely made a big impact on the community,” Dorcas agrees. “What’s the last piece of content you consumed that made you cry?”

“I watched ‘Soul’ the other night and almost had to pause it at one point to pull myself together.”

“Do you prefer animated movies or live-action?”

“Animated, mostly because I wasn’t allowed to watch Disney movies as a kid, so I’ve been catching up as an adult and they rock.”

“What’s your nerdiest quality?

“I love watching documentaries.”

“Sweet or savory?” The back door creaks a bit as they walk back inside and the camera catches a few frames of Hattie and Remus running around the yard together.

“Sweet.”

“In ten years, you have a daughter. What age do you let her date?”

Sirius gives Dorcas a look. “Whenever she wants to. I’m going to impose curfews and stuff, but I’m the last person on the planet to police her love life.”

“Good answer. What’s a song you can listen to on repeat?”

“Don’t Stop Me Now by Queen. Absolute banger.”

“If you could switch lives with someone for a day, who would it be?”

“Arthur Weasley,” he says after a moment. “I would love to know what it feels like to get up in the morning and know you’re about to spend another day wrangling our team. It’s a miracle he hasn’t killed us all with his clipboard.”

“How do you know you’re in love?”

“Oh.” Sirius blinks at her in surprise at the sudden topic change. “Well, for me, I think it’s just…being comfortable around someone. Being able to spend time with them without saying anything and knowing you’re safe, no matter what. It’s the best feeling in the world.”

“What are you most excited about at this time in your life?”

A slight smile crinkles his eyes. “Getting married. That’s going to be awesome.”

“Who is your go-to for having a good laugh?”

“James Potter. He’s the best, and I love him.”

“Last question,” Dorcas says, sliding her list into her pocket. “Many LGBT+ people, especially teenagers, have spoken about how you’re an inspiration. Any words for them?”

Sirius hums in thought. “First of all, thank you for being so open and welcoming. I would never have expected the sheer force of people’s love to come through like that when so many people were saying horrible things. Second, to any kids out there who need to hear it: I’m proud of you. It takes a lot to be true to yourself and even if you’re still in the closet, you’re just as valid as the rest of us. Stay proud.”

“That’s a wrap.” Dorcas gives him a quick hug that he happily returns. “Thanks for letting us crash your morning, Cap.”

“Any time. Thanks for tuning in to Lion Pride, everyone!”

[charmingyong]

Trust the Magenta Lilacs

Lilacs symbolize spring, renewal, and first love. Magenta lilacs symbolize love and passion. Regardless of colour, lilacs have a lasting association with love and romance.

Genre: Taeyong x fem!reader, university, humour, fluff, angst, slow burn, friends with benefits, friends to lovers

Characters: Y/N, Taeyong, Joy, Johnny, Yuta, Ten, Mark, Jaehyun

Warnings: slow burn, suggestive themes, talks of sex (not explicit), emotional trauma, swear words, alcohol consumption, harassment, feelings of betrayal, trust issues

Plot: You weren’t interested in relationships. But your dear friend Joy was desperate to have you living a more thrilling university life. She introduced you to a group of boys, in which one of them shook your heart.

Word count: 26k

Disclaimer: This story was inspired by a talk between my sister and her friend about their friends' relationships. Regarding this, the main characters are completely fictional and do not fully represent these people nor the true personalities of the idols casted. If you are triggered by the warnings, I advise you to either read with caution or not read this. There's only a couple of scenes which I think can be triggering for some people.

A/N: The italicized English lyrics half-way in the story is My Everything by NCT U. 

© 2021 charmingyong.

- ❀ -

“I’ll be back shortly with your drinks.” Your server gave you and Joy a smile before leaving your table.

You took the time to look around the on-campus restaurant. It was just after two in the afternoon, meaning a lot of students were still in classes and explained the numerous empty tables. A soft music was playing in the background, creating a peaceful ambiance for anyone to come in and de-stress from their routine while enjoying a variety of comfort foods on the menu. Life wasn’t stressful just yet, as it was only the beginning of the fall semester of your senior year.

You brought your eyes to look at the girl sitting across from you, her gaze dreamily locked onto the retreating figure. “He’s so hot with that mustache,” she said. Once the server was out of her sight, she shifted her gaze to yours for a sign of agreement.

You didn’t say anything. In fact, you already forgot how he looked like the second he left your table and you didn’t give him a second glance. Because you didn’t care. Joy raised an eyebrow at you, waiting for your response and so you said the truth. “I don’t remember...”

Her eyes blew up in shock. “You sure you don’t have a short-term memory loss or something? How can you forget his super handsome face? Like you don’t have to look at boys just for relationships, you know that right? Unless you’re...” she trailed off with a sly smile.

You rolled your eyes at her. “If I was, I would have kissed you by now.” You stuck your tongue out at her playfully.

She let out a sigh. “I’d love to have that kiss. But jokes aside, you’re seriously missing out. You can literally do anything and your parents won’t know. Of course, I’m not suggesting that you do bad things, but looking at guys isn’t a bad thing. Maybe you’ll find a guy that catches your eye and something happens between you two. Like talking, flirting, crushing on him, becoming friends with him... maybe fall in love. When else is the perfect chance to meet boys than in university?” Joy ended off with an excited and hopeful expression on her face, wishing that you’d agreed with her.

You only shrugged nonchalantly. You weren’t scared for your parents to find out about what you were up to and you didn’t care. You knew how to your ‘me’ time in your upper years compared to when you were a freshman. Considering the amount of tea Joy brought to you to spill, you preferred staying single than having drama in your life.

You knew Joy was respective with your decision to stay single because she knew that made you feel comfortable. But at times like this, she would try to talk you into giving boys a chance. Joy didn’t want her friend to end up feeling lonely and unhappy. You only really had Joy as a good friend, thanks to your introverted personality. One time she asked you whether your decision to stay single had anything to do with your father, in which your reply was a prompt no. But you thought about it from time to time. What if it was?

She crossed her arms and leaned back in her chair. “You’re coming with me this weekend.”

“No.”

“I wasn’t asking.”

“I don’t want to.” You knew what Joy was referring to. There was a party happening this weekend. Whenever Joy went to attend parties, you stayed back at your shared apartment. You never liked the idea of going to parties when you weren’t ready to mingle with strangers.

“Before you say no again, actually take your time thinking about it, Y/N.” With that, both of your drinks arrived.

- ❀ -

“Are you sure you really, really, really don’t want to go to this party? It’s for your own good, Y/N, and I promise I won’t leave you alone.” Joy brought out her best puppy eyes and pouted with her bright shade of red lipstick on her lips. She looked stunning standing by the front door of the apartment, wearing a black mini dress under a black leather jacket.

You knew she wouldn’t leave you alone without a warning and you also knew it was for your own good. But you couldn’t care less about it. Go stubborn! “Even though you look super cute right now trying to talk me into coming with you, I’m super sure about not going to this party,” you said confidently.

Joy’s face fell momentarily before picking up her mood again. “Well then, I’ll be heading off. Don’t stay up for me in case... you know,” she winked at me and walked out the front door.

- ❀ -

You woke up the next morning with someone shaking you roughly, almost pushing you off your bed. “Y/N! You need to come with me now!”

“What the heck Joy? Let me sleep,” you groaned and snuggled under your cozy blanket. But Joy had other plans and ripped the blanket from your body, leaving you slightly cold. With the way Joy was determined to follow her agenda, you groaned and sat up. “Fine, what is it? Where are we going?”

She squealed in excitement with a huge smile plastered on her face. “We’re going to their house!”

“Whose?”

“To Johnny’s and his friends’!”

Who was Johnny? “Why are we going to their house, especially this early in the morning? Is their house some sort of museum?”

Joy giggled at your joke. “It is in a way. And Johnny invited you over.” Your eyebrows furrowed, confused that a boy you had never met invited you to his house. “He’s really a sweetheart and a gentleman and the other boys are really friendly too. You don’t have to be nervous about the meet. They’re curious to meet you after I talked about you at the party.”

You were used to this. Joy always talked about you to others as if she was running around and sharing your dating profile to prospective partners. Though she never actually tried to set you up with someone. She would only talk about you and your non-thrilling life and your vow to stay away from boys.

She never forced you to meet boys and so the fact that she was doing so then shocked you.

“Don’t worry. You will like them too. And find them hot. I just know it! All I’m asking is for you to give them a chance. Just trust me and let’s go, please?” Once again, she shot her signature puppy look at you, making you sigh in defeat.

- ❀ -

When you two reached the front door of their house, Joy knocked. As if on cue, the door opened immediately to reveal a tall guy with a beautiful smile adorning his face. “Good morning, ladies. You must be Y/N. I’m Johnny. Come on in and please make yourself feel comfortable.” He moved to the side to let you two in.  

Once in the living room, Joy turned her head to give you a look. You could read her face well and knew that she was asking if you found Johnny hot. You didn’t give her any sign of response, wanting to create suspense for her.

“Joy talked about you at the party and it would be a pleasure to meet you. I’m glad she loved my idea and brought you over to meet me and the others.”

“But why would u want to meet me?”

He gasped, not believing that you didn’t know the reason yourself. “You’re seriously asking me that? It would be a huge honour to hear you call me handsome. Girls always compliment me about my dashing looks that it would be interesting when a beautiful girl like you would say otherwise.”

Beautiful girl? “You’ve never seen me before. How would know if I was beautiful?”

“Because everyone is beautiful.” A voice was heard behind Johnny and a boy appeared beside him. “Hello princess, I’m Yuta. Always at ladies’ service,” Yuta said with a smile and a wink.

Your heart fluttered yet also cringed a little internally with his flirty manner. Joy had warned you in advance of a flirtatious guy named Yuta. The good thing with him was that he made sure to stay within his limits and he wouldn’t do anything to make the receiving end feel uncomfortable. You hadn’t known him for even a minute and you weren’t not sure whether you should like him or be wary of him. Though you had to give him points for saying that everyone was beautiful. “I like that you guys think everyone is beautiful.”

He chuckled. “Think? Oh no. It’s a fact, princess.”

Another boy showed up. “Wait, what’s the fact?”

“Everyone is beautiful.”

“Oh yes I agree. Everyone is, especially my Johnny. He once grew out his hair past his shoulders and I fell in love with him all over again. By the way I’m Ten, and you are Y/N, right?”  

“Yes.”

“Ah the Y/N Joy talked about last night. It’s a pleasure to meet you, princess,” Yuta gave you a smile so beautiful that made your heart heal a little. “But I have to say. Mark sleeping on such an honourable guest is quite disrespectful.  

Johnny nodded. “I agree. Mark!” he yelled. “Quit sleeping and come down! The royal highness is here!” You were starting to think whether these boys’ sanity was okay, treating you like you needed the red carpet to walk on.

A faint grumble was heard from above, followed by some light footsteps making their way down the stairs. In entered a boy you guessed was Mark. His face was scrunched up with his messy bed hair. When his eyes landed on you, his eyes blew up and looked like he was fully awake now, flustered that your first impression of him was his sleepy appearance. “Oh hi there. I’m Mark,” he greeted you with a smile.

Ten snickered. “Y/N knows since you needed a special wakeup call from hyung.”

Mark elbowed him in the ribs, making Ten let out a small cry of pain.

“Mark! We don’t condone violence in this house, especially in front of ladies,” Johnny scolded.

“But hyung-”

“No!”

Mark grumbled under his breath. “Not fair.”

Yuta heard him. “Do you want a boo-boo kiss for hyung being mean, Markie?”

“What the hell hyung? No!”

You were grateful that Joy dragged you out of bed to meet a bunch of boys you’d never seen before. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t find them attractive. They were pretty handsome. But that was it. You didn’t feel anything else inside you that would make you want to interact with them in a manner more than friends. The way the boys were polite with you and playful with each other made you want to be friends with them.  

In the midst of everything happening from the boys pulling each other’s legs (not literally thankfully) to your train of thoughts, you didn’t hear the front door open. From the corner of your eyes, you saw a figure appear that stood a few feet away from you. When you shifted your focus onto it, your breathing stopped momentarily and your blood rushed faster inside you. The boy’s gaze was locked on you, not moving a single muscle to see what his housemates were up to. His poker face intimidated you, and you felt like a deer caught in headlights, paralyzed. What shocked you the most was his big brown eyes, so large that you could see yourself in the middle of the galaxy.

- ❀ -

“Y/N, are you taking any easy courses right now?” Ten asked. “One of my classes is going to drive me crazy and I want to switch out.”

After all the boys were introduced to you and numbers were exchanged, Johnny suggested having breakfast together. You sat with Joy and your new friends at a nearby diner, talking about school while eating your meal.

“Hmm... how about Korean? I’m taking the beginner’s course so it’s all basics.”

He nodded looking satisfied. “Having the others around already has me knowing the basics. So that sounds like a good class to me.”

“I’m going to switch too,” Yuta blurted.

Mark was surprised with Yuta’s announcement out of the blue. “I thought you liked all your classes. And you’re super fluent in Korean.”

“Where’s the fun if I’m not around Y/N? Plus, they don’t have paper proof on me that I’m better at Korean than you.”

“HYUNG!”

While you were busy talking about the course syllabus and who they should contact as there was an upcoming quiz, Taeyong felt his mobile vibrate in his pocket. He pulled it out to see a message from Lez. “I’m going to see Lez today,” he informed Johnny who was sitting across from him at the end of the table.

“Weren’t you gonna hang out with someone already today?” Johnny asked.

Taeyong nodded. “Yeah, Brie. But I’m meeting Lez before the party tonight so I’ll get to the party with her.”

“Alright man.”

Joy overheard them and she wasn’t sure how to feel about Taeyong. She hadn’t been able to learn much about him at the party, considering he was absent most of the time when she talked to the others. All she heard about him was that he had many girls in his contacts.

“There’s another party tonight?” you asked from Mark’s outburst when he challenged Yuta to rap his verse that he prepared for the party.

“Of course! It’s Saturday. Parties happen until Sunday even.”

“I mean- I know that but Joy didn’t tell me...” and you figured it was her plan to have you clueless until she could strike her chance to persuade you. If you had known beforehand, you would have slammed a big fat NO on her face. You turned to Joy with suspicious eyes, but she only looked at you with innocence, batting her eyelashes.

“You are coming right?” Yuta asked you.

Ten spoke up, not willing to take any objections. “Of course she is! Now that she has us, we’re dragging her to the party. We’re not having her miss out on another party. She needs to live a little.”

Mark nodded agreeing with him. “Yes Y/N, you really should come. You can just hang around us. Please?”

With the way Mark pleaded you with his adorable cute eyes and pouted lips, you couldn’t help but agree to finally go to your first ever party in university. “Okay.”

Everyone at the table let out various noises of excitement. You could have sworn you saw Joy’s eyes tear up in happiness. Johnny, who was silently watching the commotion, smiled at you, pleased with your decision.

That was everyone except for Taeyong, who was smirking at his phone.

- ❀ -

“So how do you feel about the boys? Was I right?”

You and Joy said your goodbyes to the boys from the diner and drove back to your apartment. The boys decided to pick you and Joy up tonight and go to the party together. You slumped down onto the couch, feeling good about the interaction and making new friends. “Yes, you were. They’re friendly and funny too. Gosh that was so nerve-wracking on our way there though, not knowing what to expect.”

Joy punched the air in glory of her victory. “Yes, yes, yes! Okay but the main question is do you find them hot?” she asked eagerly. Your nod made Joy do a big happy dance and yelled out a “Finally!”

“They’re all pretty handsome. I would actually hit myself if I said they weren’t. But that’s about it. I don’t feel anything else towards them.” It was the truth. Their good looks didn’t spark anything else inside you besides warmth from their playful interactions that you witnessed. The only exception did go to-

“That’s fine! To hear you finally find a guy attractive is enough for me to die in peace.” She closed her eyes and wiped away her nonexistent tears. “But who struck you the most?”  

When your gaze was locked on the boy with deep brown eyes, you heard Johnny introduce you to Taeyong. You shifted your sight to the owner of the voice and that was when you learned that the name of the boy who made you feel uneasy was Taeyong. You felt your breathing somewhat come back once your eyes were anywhere except on him, but your stiffness was still there. His mere presence made you feel intimidated by him, which was why you tried to sit as far away as possible from him at the diner. Though out of all the boys you met, he was the most good-looking.

“Taeyong,” you answered.

Her face fell at your answer, which wasn’t the reaction you expected. “What do you feel with Taeyong?” Joy grew anxious.

“You don’t look happy.”

“I’m sorry. I just don’t know how to feel with Taeyong. I haven’t really talked to him at the party and I don’t want you to get involved with him more than just friends.”

To say you were shocked was an understatement. After all this time of Joy getting you to interact with boys, she placed a restriction with the one you found the most good-looking. It wasn’t a problem anyway as you didn’t feel anything else with Taeyong except for running away from him. “But why?”

She shook her head. “I don’t know the truth and I don’t want to sound like I’m judging him without knowing the truth. But it seems like I’m already doing that,” she chuckled to herself. “He... talks to a lot of girls.”

You were confused. What was that supposed to mean? “Does he like fuck around with them?”

“Well I don’t know about that, but he is seeing a lot of girls and he’s not officially in a relationship with anyone so it’s not like he’s two-timing or cheating, but... You know I don’t want you getting hurt, especially since I forced this whole meeting boys thing on you. I don’t want him to mislead you and have something more than friends going on but at the end breaks it off and hurts you. I just want you to be happy without getting hurt.”

You nodded, understanding her. “I know you only want the best for me, Joy.”

She laughed quietly. “Remember what I said one time if you were to ever have a boyfriend?”

You smiled, vividly reminiscing her words. “That you’ll do a background check on him to make sure he’s good.”

She nodded. “Because I don’t want you to go through what I did with my past exes. Being friends with Taeyong is fine. Anything more than that and I’m not going to sit around and do nothing.”

- ❀ -

“Y/N! Are you ready yet?”

The evening rolled in faster than you expected and you were nowhere near ready for the party. You were going to your first ever party in university so you wanted to dress up the very best. However, your wardrobe was lacking the appropriate attire for the event.  

Joy walked into your bedroom to check up on you. “What’s taking so long, girl?”  

You sighed loudly, giving up on your search for the perfect outfit and you lied down on your bed feeling disappointed. “I can’t find anything to wear.” 

Joy walked up to your open wardrobe and shuffled your clothes around. She paused and picked something up, showing you her selection. “This is so cute!” she gushed. “I���ve never seen you wear this.” 

Lifting your head up, you saw her holding a top that you had never worn before. Because you didn’t have the confidence to do so. “I’m not wearing that.”

She rolled her eyes. “You’re wearing this or I’m going to make you wear one of my dresses.”

That was all she had to say before you jumped onto your feet and snatched the top from her hand. Your friend snickered, knowing how much you hated wearing dresses.

You heard a phone ring, making Joy pull out her phone and answer the call. “Hey John!” she greeted in a sweet tone. “Okay, we’ll be there in a bit.” She shoved her phone back in her pocket. “The boys are here waiting for us.”

- ❀ -

Johnny parked the car on the road among many other cars and your group walked down the sidewalk that lead up to the extravagant exterior of the house. Once inside, you were amazed by the humongous space and even more by the number of people occupying it. Students were talking with red solo cups in their hands, dancing with the music blasting from the hi-fi stereo system, playing games and laughing at the losers. If Joy or any of your new friends left you alone, you were going to cry. You did not fit in here with your monotone studious life.

Johnny informed your group that Taeyong was going to arrive at the party on his own. You weren’t sure whether you hoped to find him or avoid crossing his path. He hadn’t talked with you at all yet, neither at their house nor at the diner. Your theory was that he was a quiet boy. But if Joy was right, then how would a quiet boy have many girls in his contacts? He had to have talked to initiate something with them. But then considering his looks, girls would have approached him first. You were close to concluding that Taeyong didn’t like you and that was a problem if you and Joy were going to hang out with the boys often. He was going to be unavoidable unless he was busy himself. As if the thought of him not liking you wasn’t enough, you on the other hand were simply intimidated with the aura he radiated when looking into his eyes.

“Y/N, follow me!” Ten grabbed your hand and led you to the other side of the house. There was some space by the wall, looking like a stage for performances to occur. You were curious what acts were going to take place.

An unknown guy showed up with a mic on the stage. “Yo whatzzup everyone?” The crowd who was there to see the stage cheered loudly. “Alright so we got the Misfit gang ready to perform. Are you ready for a rocking, roof raising performance by them?”

A collection of loud yeses and cheers had the music begin. No one was on the stage yet, leaving the performer a surprise. Right before the verse began, Mark stepped onto the stage with a mic, making your eyes blow up in shock.

“I’m a misfit manneun fit jachega eopji

Sumi teokteok makin oseul ibeun neukkim

Jigyeopji gomin eopsi geunyang rip it

Nareul kkeureonaeriryeo halsurok get lifted”

You gawked at Mark and his ability to spit fire just minutes after arriving to the party. You realized that the rap Mark was referring to over breakfast was the performance for Misfit.

And what followed next was beyond your wildest imagination. The crowd parted to let Taeyong walk to the stage while rapping his verse.

“Aesseo nal jaedanharyeoneun geon dwaesseo

Jigeum idaero ga the best never mess up

Uisimi eopji geujeo bring it to the next

Nan deunneun bangbeobeul molla I’m a def”

You were struck by how handsome he looked wearing a black button-down shirt and ripped jeans with matching hair colour that made his beautiful face stand out even more. And though you were still intimidated by him, your heart couldn’t help itself from fluttering at how handsome he looked as a performer. 

One after another, the rappers made their way to the stage at the appropriate time for their verses. Johnny was the last one to jump on and his entry made the girls in the audience squeal in delight. It seemed like Johnny was quite a catch for the ladies.

When all the rappers sang the ending chorus, you were dazed by Taeyong’s presence on stage and the power he held. And it was not just you who slightly swooned over him, but other girls and boys too. After their performance ended, you heard a guy from the crowd yell “I love you Taeyong!” that resulted in a series of confessions being thrown from the audience to the rappers on the stage.

“So did you like their performance?” Ten asked you.

You nodded slowly, still in shock with the adrenaline-rushing performance that you were blessed to see. “Yeah totally! I didn’t know they could rap like that.”

“As expected from the aces,” Yuta said.

“Totally,” Ten agreed. “Oh hyung! Wanna go grab some drinks? Y/N, do you want some too?”

You were starting to feel a bit anxious with the number of people you were surrounded with. Before entering the place, you noticed a balcony on the second floor and wished to go there so that you could breathe comfortably. “Sure but am I allowed to go on the second floor? I want some fresh air.”

Yuta nodded. “Of course. You’re allowed to go anywhere unless there’s a sign that says otherwise. I’ll come up with your drink,” he smiled at you before Ten dragged him away.

The staircase was easily spotted and right when you took a step, you forgot about Joy ever since Ten dragged you away for the stage. You tried looking around, but you couldn’t spot your friend. Pulling out your phone, you found a notification from her.

Joy: Looks like you’re in good hands ;) call me if you need me <3 have fun!

You let out a breath of relief, grateful that Joy wasn’t mad at you for forgetting about her. With that, you made your way up the stairs and down the hallway to the room you guessed had the balcony. The door was fully open, displaying a full view of the balcony. Perfect! You poked your head in to make sure no one was inside. All clear! Walking up to the balcony, you leaned on the railing and took a fresh deep breath of the chilly night, instantly relaxing.

It wasn’t long until you heard footsteps that made you turn on your heel to see who was coming in your direction.

Taeyong.

With a girl beside him.

Hands linked together.

When he saw you face him, he held your gaze for a few seconds, his face unreadable before disappearing into the room adjacent to yours.

He did it again. He made you feel anxious. And a thing you confirmed about him was that he did have something going on with girls that involved a bedroom.

You left your room as you had no interest to listen to their private activity. Halfway down the hall, Yuta showed up with a drink in each hand. “What’s up, princess?” he asked, handing you your drink.

“I’m not feeling the balcony anymore.”

He peeked over your shoulder at the vacant balcony room behind you, giving you a look like you were crazy for ditching an awesome quieter spot compared to the floor below. “Come on! It’s empty and the view looks great.” He began walking in the direction of the balcony room until…

Noises were heard behind the closed doors.

He stopped in his tracks and realized why you were against the idea. A smirk made its way onto his face and he pointed an index finger at the room Taeyong was in, silently asking you if that was your reason.

You nodded.

Yuta strolled back to where you were fixed. “So you really are a virgin?”

You felt embarrassed. It sounded like you should have lost your v-card being a senior student. “Yeah…”

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of, Y/N. I had a guess that you were when Joy talked about you.”

“It’s embarrassing.”

He shook his head, disagreeing with you. “No, it’s not. There’s nothing wrong with that. People have their reasons for doing it or not.”

That made you think about Taeyong. What was his reason? Was it just to satisfy his sexual desire? Was it something else?

“What’s your reason? Waiting for someone special?” he asked.

You did have your reason, but it wasn’t the one Yuta guessed. You were never interested in that special someone to come into your life and for that reason, you chucked the idea of ever having your first time out the window. Sure, one-night stands existed but losing your virginity to a complete stranger didn’t appeal to you. “No, I’m not waiting for anyone special. I am… like curious… but I wasn’t interested with any guy to… you know?”

He cocked his head to the side, amused. “I should have seen that coming. But are you still not into guys? Because…” he trailed off, pointing his thumb towards himself.

You raised an eyebrow. “Because…?”

He laughed. “Are you serious? Am I not handsome?”

Oh. For a brief moment, you thought he was implying you to have sex with him. You were almost positive that he was. To answer his question, “You are handsome, Yuta.” You remembered your first impression of his, debating whether to like him or not. After talking more with him, you realized he was only being nice to you and so you warmed up to him fairly quickly.

The pride he felt with your confession brought a huge smile on his face. “You do know how much it means for me to hear that from you, right? Any guy would die to hear that from you, princess.”

You frowned. “I don’t think that’s true.”

“Nonsense. Don’t sell yourself short. You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen,” he stated seriously.

It wasn’t that you thought you weren’t beautiful in your eyes. You were beautiful. But it was the thought of what if you weren’t attractive to the opposite sex that made you keep denying it, especially if they were only saying it to act polite. The way Yuta looked at you with soft sparkling eyes made your heart melt and so you believed his words.

Right at that time, you heard a door open and saw the girl with Taeyong earlier leave the room, followed by the boy himself. His skin was slightly flushed, couple of buttons on his shirt undone, and his hair a bit messier than before entering the room. He noticed you and Yuta standing afar and walked up to you both after sending a “see you later” to the girl. “Hey Yuta,” he greeted his friend first before acknowledging you. “Hi Y/N.”

And he did it again. Looking at you with his indifferent expression before turning to Yuta to exchange a few words. Your heart was beating so fast with your sight locked on his handsome yet intimidating side profile.

He looked at you for a brief moment, quietly muttering “see you later,” and made his way towards the staircase.

Your heart rate returned to normal after he left, but you were worried that it wasn’t going to be the last time seeing him that night. The untouched drink in your hand was the perfect solution to your concern and you downed it in one go, burning your throat.

- ❀ -

The next day, you and Joy went to their house after lunch. Joy had a review session with Johnny and Ten for math and while you knew Joy had put it off till her last year to finish the requirement, you were surprised that Johnny did the same. Ten being a year younger than them took the course at the same time in order to be with Johnny.

“Damn these first-year courses having huge lecture halls and being jam packed. We could have met earlier!” Ten whined.

“I know right!” Joy exclaimed.

You didn’t have anything else to do as your courses were fairly light for the first few weeks. The only thing in your agenda was your Korean quiz coming up in the middle of the week. For that, you had the word list saved on your phone to pull up easily. You tagged along with Joy hoping to hang around more with your new friends.

Johnny came back into the living room, looking nervous. “Uh guys, we have a problem. I can’t find the textbook.”

“What?! Hyung I trusted you!” It turned out that Ten didn’t purchase the textbook in order to save money. Why buy one when your friend had one?

“Oh no. I didn’t buy one thinking I can just go to the library and sign one out,” Joy said.

“We can just do that then. Go to the library,” Johnny suggested.

Ten groaned. “I hate libraries. It’s too quiet and serious. But we don’t have another choice, do we?”

Johnny only gave him a look, not saying anything.

With a sigh and an “okay,” Ten began gathering his stuff and shoving it in his backpack.

Johnny did the same and in the middle of it, he asked you, “Are you okay with library, Y/N?”

It was pointless to go there just to review off your phone. “No. Is anyone else here? Otherwise I’ll head home.”

Ten spoke up. “Mark is already at the library, the studious freshman he is. Yuta went out with his other friends. The only one left is Taeyong and he’s chilling in his room.”

Shit.

The conflict of deciding whether to stay or leave for home right at the moment was your fight-or-flight response talking. Taeyong was in the house. Alone. That thought made you want to fight and courageously talk to him and clear things up about his behaviour with you. Even though that idea had you panicky and wanting to flee, it had to be done because you wished to be on everyone’s good terms in the group.

“Okay. I’ll stay here then.”

Joy gave a you an unreadable look, which was a first. You could always read her no matter what the situation. But that moment had you guessing. Did she not like the idea of you being around Taeyong? Didn’t she say it was okay to be friends with him only? Was she worried for you? It was almost like she was warning you to be careful.

“Taeyong! We’re going to the library and Y/N will be here!” Johnny yelled up the stairs. There was no response.

“Hyung might have his headphones on.”

Nodding in agreement, Johnny said to you, “Okay Y/N. Feel free to make yourself at home. You’re welcome to have anything in the kitchen if hungry, watch or play on the TV. Anything. Understood?” He was making sure that you weren’t going to keep to yourself and feel like a stranger in the house.

“I’ll try,” you smiled at the heartfelt words.

Once ready they left, and you felt uneasy. You thought his mere presence just inches from you made your heart pump faster. But being alone in the house with him upstairs was slowly killing you.

You opted to sit on the couch and review the word list on your phone. After going through half the list, you hear a door open upstairs and soft footsteps making their way down the stairs. Your body stiffened, hands sweating, and the speed at which your blood was pumping made you feel a little lightheaded.

On his way to the kitchen, Taeyong froze in his tracks upon noticing a quiet girl on the couch.

You shifted your gaze to look at the flustered boy. He didn’t expect you to be alone.

“Hi,” you squeaked, your voice betraying you as if it had chosen the flight response and jumped out the window.

He recovered from the surprise and greeted you back. “Hi. Where are the others?”

You cleared your throat hoping your voice to come back and informed him of the situation.

He nodded in understanding. Ditching the reason for going to the kitchen in the first place, he walked to where you sat and settled down on the couch across from you. “You stayed,” he stated it in a way to indirectly question you the reason for your stay when no one else was downstairs.

You badly wanted to ask him something, but you were a little scared. Honestly, you were extremely terrified, but you didn’t want to admit it. He didn’t give any signs away whether he liked you or not. You couldn’t think of a single reason as to why he would hate you. If he liked you, as an acquaintance, then he was really good at hiding his emotions.

You cleared your throat again. “Taeyong, can I ask you something?”

He nodded.

Your heart was pounding against your chest, scared to hear his answer. “Do you not like me? I meant like... do you hate me?”

Taeyong’s eyes went big at your question. He never thought he was giving off that kind of message that made you think he hated you. He knew he wasn’t talking to you like the way others did. But it was for a reason that was opposite to not liking you. He really was into you and wanted to get to know you better. But his fear stopped him from talking to you.

He didn’t realize his silence was making you restless and made you jump to your conclusion. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what it is that made you not like me but if you let me know-”

“No! I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to act the way I did. It’s just that I like you and I don’t know what you’ve heard about me and I don’t want to mess up and I- I really don’t know what to say.” He buried his head in his hands, frustrated that he couldn’t find it in him to explain himself clearly.

You on the other hand went still by his outburst. “You like me?”

His head shot up in alarm. “No no no! I mean yes but no not like that. I mean like friends.”

You let out a breath of relief and flashed a small yet sincere smile. Both from knowing that Taeyong liked you and as friends only. You were not ready for a confession that fast from a guy that you had met recently without much interactions, especially from the one that made you feel intimidated. After hearing that him not liking you wasn’t true and seeing his softer side through his rambling, your heart rate started to return to normal and you no longer felt uneasy around him like you did before.

His fingers became fidgety, nervously wanting to ask you something. “Have you heard about me?”

You didn’t know what to say for a moment. You didn’t want him to think that you were judging him from the little information Joy told you and what you saw last night. Nodding slowly, you said, “Kind of, but I want to hear it from you. I heard you have a lot of girls in your contacts.”

Taeyong half smiled at you. “You’re right I talk to girls. But…” He was trying to come up with the right words without making him sound like a fuckboy or player even if the case sounded like that. “I make it clear with them in the beginning that I only want to be friends with them, or even taking it further to being friends with benefits if they want. No relationships so I’m not playing with anyone’s heart.”

Oh. “So the girls that you talk to are only your friends?”

He flashed a smile. “Yes. I promise I’m not a fuckboy.”

It didn’t make sense to you. What was the big issue with that?

“I know what you’re thinking.” He looked down at his hands. “I seek something from them. And if I’m not getting it, I don’t talk to them.”

Personal gain? But not sex? “They’re not your true friends, are they?”

He shook his head. “Not like the boys.”

“What is it that you need from them?”

He closed his eyes, sort of wishing he never started the conversation. It made him feel vulnerable and open to you when he had only known you, well seen you for a day. No one had ever asked him for the truth. The boys would only assume it was what he wanted and they knew Taeyong would tell them if he was in a relationship. They would observe his behaviour around the girls and he never flirted in a way to mislead them. All the girls knew what he wanted, and those more obsessive would try their ways to win his heart in hopes of a commitment from him and earn the girlfriend title. But that never happened with the boundaries set beforehand. Whenever a case arose of a girl finding her significant other, it was the time for him to end the friendship. Call it friendships or flings, he didn’t know. He could care less because at the end of the day, all he sought from the girls were…

“Affection.”

Taeyong came from a damaged household where his parents were divorced when he was in middle school. Too busy with their own lives, neither of them gave him, their only child, the love and attention every child needed growing up. Ever since, he had been searching for it without getting into relationships. He didn’t want himself or the other person to get hurt in a commitment, and this was him speaking on behalf of his trauma.

Taeyong told you everything. As the conversation went on, he realized he was bleeding his heart out to you. He didn’t know why he was sharing his deepest fear with you, the one he had never told another living soul before. Maybe it was the way you were willing to listen to him and gently ask questions that wouldn’t prick his heart.

He trusted you and that scared him.

You were speechless after he finished talking, feeling guilty for considering that he was a fuckboy. Your heart ached from listening to the trauma he experienced as a little boy. “You must have been through a lot.”

When he looked at you, you lost your breath again. But this time for a different reason.

The tears in his eyes.

“I- I’m so so sorry Taeyong.” You felt extremely guilty for letting your curiosity get the best of you.

He wiped his tears away. “Don’t be. I’ve never opened up to anyone and now that I did... it feels kind of good.”

You felt your heart flip and were grateful to be the one soul that Taeyong confided in. “Can I ask you a question?”

He chuckled softly. “You’ve been doing that all this time.”

“Can we be friends?”

He blinked. “Do you mean friends like the other girls or real?”

“Real friends. Probably like the way I’ll be with the other boys here. A real friendship... like the way I’m with Joy.”

The smile that slowly made its way onto his face was the most beautiful smile that you had ever seen in your life. It made you want to have a one-on-one talk with your heart and stop confusing the hell out of you for it to pound in your chest again.

“I’d love that.”

- ❀ -

The day of your Korean quiz arrived and you were eager to put your Korean learning skills to test. After the class ended in the evening, you got into the passenger seat of Yuta’s car and Ten took a seat in the back.

“How was the quiz, guys?” you asked.

They were able to swiftly catch up from what they missed the first class. Ten went over the word list a few times while Yuta scanned over it once and never looked back at it.

“Easy peasy lemon squeezy,” Yuta said calmly. You laughed at his choice of words.

“Same but I might have made a mistake,” Ten laughed at himself, not worrying too much of the first quiz.

“You would make a mistake if it was in English too.”

“Hyung, you’re so mean!”

“Why would Ten?” you asked Yuta.

“He can speak five languages so his brain is scattered all over the place.”

You were mind blown by the learning ability of the boy sitting behind you. “Seriously Ten?”

“Oh yeah! My mother tongue is Thai, I grew up learning English, then I learned Korean from the boys, then a little Mandarin from my other friends, and I’m learning a little bit of Japanese from Yuta.”

Damn. This guy was impressive. “I’ll be really impressed if you do better on the Korean quiz than me.”

“Wanna bet?”

“Sure. On what?” You were confident that you aced it, so you were positive that you’d win the bet.

“When we all go out to a restaurant and bar, the loser gets drunk.”

You have never gotten drunk before, only ever having one drink and called it a night. The most that you had felt from alcohol was feeling tipsy as you were more on the lightweight side. The idea of getting drunk for the first time with your friends around to keep you safe sounded like a good bet.

That was if you lost.

“Deal.”

Arriving at their house, you walked in to find Taeyong playing a game on the TV. He noticed you and paused the game. “Hey guys,” he greeted with his soft eyes landing on you, melting your heart a little.

“Hey hyung! What are you up to?” Ten asked, throwing himself on the couch beside him.

“Playing for a bit before going out.”

“Ooo~ Who are you seeing?” Ten wiggled his eyebrows.

“Mel.”

“That hot girl? How are you not dating her already?”

Taeyong looked at you with a knowing look and didn’t say anything. As if on cue, a notification chimed making Taeyong pick up his phone. He stood up immediately and began walking to the front door. “I’ll see you guys later.”

“Have fun hyung! Be safe!” Ten teased.

Taeyong rolled his eyes at him and shifted his gaze onto you, sending a genuine smile before turning on his heels.

Your heart fluttered at the smile he sent your way. You liked seeing this side of Taeyong a lot, soft and smiling, unlike his previous cold self. This was the result of your courageous encounter the other day and you were quite proud of yourself to have resolved the matter with him.

“Okay guys! Let’s study Korean!” Ten shouted.

“Say that in Korean, you coward,” Yuta said.

“Hangukmareul kongbuhapsida!” Ten stuck his tongue out at Yuta.

“You didn’t translate ‘Okay guys!’”

Ten searched for something inside his backpack, retrieving a pair of scissors and chased after Yuta.

- ❀ -

The next few weeks, you spent time hanging out with the boys even in Joy’s absence. You would play Mario Kart on the TV with them, smiling proudly at the end for coming first place after one of the rounds. The shocked face on Ten riled him up and promised himself to beat you in the next round.

You had been getting closer to Taeyong, feeling super comfortable around him to the point you’d occasionally hang out in his bedroom. Only hangouts, nothing else of that sort. He was full of surprises and so out of all the boys, you spent the most amount of time with him. His bedroom was super tidy and clean, numerous small plants sat on a multi-tier plant stand, candles of different scents and some colouring supplies on a dresser, a pair of headphones and laptop with a few books and a Febreze spray on the desk, and a series of Polaroid photos hanging off the strings on the wall. The vibe of his room was so serene that you wished you could live there.

How you had gone from staying away from boys to coolly laying beside one on his bed was beyond your brain’s ability to comprehend.

Sometimes Taeyong would cook a meal in the kitchen and the shocking part for you was that he’d take the time to decorate it like 5-star restaurants would.

You took a spoonful of bibimbap into your mouth. “Oh my goodness! This tastes so delicious, Tae!” The flavours bursting inside your mouth had you wiggling a happy dance.

Taeyong laughed his heart out. “I’m glad.” His heart was happily drinking up your animated self, devouring the food he prepared with all his heart. He didn’t realize he was staring at you longer than he should, not realizing that he was growing a deep tender affection for you.

- ❀ -

Your Korean teaching assistant had returned the graded quizzes at the end of class. You noticed two errors in your writing and your heart sank. “Dammit,” you cursed in your head. You were so confident in your Hangul writing that you expected a perfect score.

Ten nudged your elbow. “So Y/N, what did you get?”

“Two mistakes,” you said in a gloomy tone.

His eyes widen in excitement for beating you. “I got one! I won the bet! Yes!” He began throwing punches in the air.

“You didn’t beat me.”

“Shut up hyung! You weren’t even part of the bet.”

As much as you were excited to get drunk for the first time in your life, you were worried. After you told Joy about the bet, she told you a fair number of stories of how people acted when drunk. What if you said or did something wrong? “You all will take care of me right?”

Yuta snorted. “Is that even a question? Of course we will! Why? How is our princess when she’s drunk?” he teasingly asked you.

“Uh... I’ve never gotten drunk.”

They both looked at you as if you had grown a third head.

“No way!” Ten couldn’t believe you. “How can you not have by now? It’s something everyone would have done in high school or freshman year. Even Mark has.”

You shrugged. “I just never went out of my way to drink like that.”

Yuta looked genuinely concern. “Are you okay getting drunk? This is something no one should pressure you into as well.”

You nodded. “Yeah I am. I’m curious to know how it’s like to get drunk, and if it’s with you guys, I feel better.”

“Exactly hyung! Otherwise she shouldn’t have agreed to the bet. And wait, what do you mean as well?”

You knew Yuta was referring to your v-card but Ten not knowing had you confused. “You don’t know?”

“Know what?”

“I’m a virgin.”

“YOU’RE WHAT?” Talk about getting two shocking facts in a row.

“I thought Yuta would have told you.”

Yuta made a gesture of him zipping his lips. “I don’t go around spreading news about someone’s privacy. I’m a gentleman. Unlike someone.” He hinted at Ten.

“Hyung!”

“Now that Ten knows, everyone’s gonna know. Sorry Y/N.”

Ten crossed his arms. He knew it was true. It was hard to keep secrets in his stomach. “I’m not gonna go around campus and announce it.”

“I know. Even if it’s just inside the house, you’re still spreading it.”

After the talk with Yuta at the party, you weren’t feeling embarrassed like you used to. As long as it stayed within your friends. “It’s okay. Shouldn’t friends know anyway?”

- ❀ -

The news did spread, and thankfully only within the walls of their house. Johnny had seen it coming, Mark was baffled and didn’t know what to do with the information, and Taeyong was shocked.

You were laying on your stomach on Taeyong’s bed, reading through your notes for a course. Taeyong was sitting by his desk working on his laptop. Your mind kept going back to the virginity conversations. You’d be lying if your desires and curiosity weren’t growing inside you. Hanging out with handsome boys had made you feel things in your body that you had never experienced in your previously dull life.

Hesitancy was getting the best of you to ask something from Taeyong. You didn’t want to make your friend feel awkward with your inquiry. But you didn’t want to ask him after having some alcohol in order to have more courage. You wanted to be sober and fully alert.

“Tae?” you called to him quietly.

He stopped typing and turned to you. Seeing your worried facial expression, he grew concerned. “What’s wrong? Are you not feeling well?”

You grew restless and you shifted your body weight to sit upright. With a deep breath, you said something that you never thought you’d say in your life.

“I want to have sex.”

You caught him off guard so hard that he began choking on air. After recovering from the initial shock, he gathered his thoughts and quietly asked, “With who?”

You bit your lip and shrugged. To be honest, you didn’t have anyone in mind, but you wanted to make sure it was someone you could rely on and be gentle with you. “I wanted to ask you if you know any guy who’d be interested in my first time. Someone who’s not going to be rough and won’t make me feel uncomfortable. Do you know anyone?”

Taeyong could hear his heart cry for how innocent you looked asking him. He didn’t want to say any other guy’s name other than himself. He could tell by your face that it terrified you to end up in the wrong bed, and he knew he would take things easy to make you feel intimate and comfortable. “I do know someone.”

Smiling excitedly, you asked who.

A brief silence from Taeyong before he confidently answered. “Me.”

Your face fell. Of course, you’d be over the moon to have the benefits with your friend, but you weren’t sure if it was the best idea. A warning bell rang in your brain to not go for it, but your heart wanted to. Taeyong was fast becoming a dear friend like Joy, and the thought of Joy had you remembering her words.

Anything more than friends.

This was still within the friendship boundary, so you didn’t think it was going to be an issue.

He observed your fallen expression and began panicking. “I mean you don’t have to with me. I can say someone else’s name. I’m not trying to take advantage of-”

“Tae!”

He stopped rambling. He feared his friendship with you was going to become awkward and regretted suggesting himself to you. “I’m sorry,” he muttered, his head hanging low.

You on the other hand were slowly killing off the warning in your head and went to jump onto your heart’s desire. “No Tae. I’d like that.”

His head shot up to see if his ears heard you right. You smiled warmly, getting excited for your first time with a boy that you had been growing fond of.

As a friend.

“Are you sure?” Taeyong searched your face for any signs of discomfort and failed.

You nodded. “If it’s with you, I don’t think I’ll regret it.”

A fond smile grew on his face. “You won’t.”

After staring into each other’s eyes for a while, you had enough with the wait. “Can we right now?”

Taeyong chuckled at your eagerness. He got up from his chair and sat closer to you on the bed. He held your face in his gentle hands, admiring your innocence up close before placing his lips on yours.

- ❀ -

Ever since then, you and Taeyong had been spending even more time together. Whether it’d be in his bedroom, meeting up at random spots on campus, going out to different places for food and entertainment, and even going over to your apartment.

You’d both stay up and watch movies with Taeyong being a sucker for romance. You weren’t that being of a romance fan but only agreed to watch his reactions throughout the movie. He’d have a huge smile plastered on his face whenever the lead couple would have cute interactions, and tears rolled down whenever a heartbreaking scene occurred. He would seek comfort by clinging onto your arm and laying his head on your shoulder. Your heart did a flip every time he snuggled up to you. Sometimes he’d stay over for the night and when Joy noticed how intimate Taeyong had gotten with you, she thought it was time for her to do something.

The more and more Taeyong spent his time with you, the less and less he went out with his other female friends. He loved every second with you, craving to only be with you. Your friendship with him was at a level where he took every opportunity he could find to pat your head, hold your hand, give you kisses on the cheek, lay his head on your lap, and pull you into hugs when saying your hellos and goodbyes. You viewed all this in a friendly manner of course, for Taeyong to express his emotionally sensitive side to you, the love he had for you as a close friend. It was a total contrast to your first impression of him and you loved it.

After midterms were over, Taeyong suggested for the two of you to hang out at a café he discovered recently. You walked in, your jaw dropping in awe of the beauty that laid in front of you. The café was decorated from head to toe with various types of flowers. Every wall either had paintings or hanging flowers while baskets or vases of specific varieties sat on every table. Alongside the coffee and baked goods menu, there was a menu for all the types of flowers for purchase, whether as single flowers or bouquets.

Taeyong had brought you to a flower café and you loved it.

“Wow...” you whispered.

You shook out of your daze once you felt a gentle hand on your back, guiding you towards the counter.

After receiving your order for an iced americano and Taeyong for a strawberry cold drink, you both sat down by a table of magenta lilacs neatly organized in a white basket.

You took a sip of your bitter drink while adoring the flower basket. “They’re beautiful,” you said quietly to not disturb their beauty.

Taeyong agreed silently. Not as beautiful as you, he thought. You were always ready to give emotional support to your friends and offer your shoulder for someone to lean or cry on. But never once did you talk about yourself. He wanted to get to know you, not just on the surface but on the inside as well. “Tell me about yourself.”

You directed your eyes at the boy across you and laughed. “What is this? An interview?”  

He shook his head being serious. “I only know your present.”

“And that’s all you need to know.” You didn’t like where Taeyong was going with his words.

He sighed loudly and leaned forward to take your free hand gently, drawing circles with his thumb on the back of your hand. “I care about you, Y/N.”

He didn’t just care about you. He was falling for you. But he wasn’t going to confess his love for you just yet. His trauma from adolescence years still haunted him whenever he thought about commitments.

You leaned back slightly irritated. “I know but I- I... I don’t want to talk about it,” you muttered.

You wanted to forget about your past, have the memories buried so deeply inside your brain that it’d be hard to ever retrieve them. It was why you never shared it with Joy. What was done was done, and it was only better to focus on the present. You tried to live your present without using the past as a reason. But it was exactly what you did to avoid boys.

He smiled softly in understanding. He knew better as he had done the same before you came in his life. “Okay but remember I’m always here for you.”

- ❀ -

The night finally arrived when your squad went to a restaurant and bar. This meant that you were about to fulfill the bet that you had lost to Ten. Joy had you snack a little in advance to prevent you from unfavourable effects of drinking that night.  

“I can’t believe I’m going to see my cute innocent Y/N get drunk for the first time tonight!” Joy gushed, squealing and clapping her hands in excitement.

“Ten, good job for winning that bet. Though it’s a shame that I can’t see you dance on the table,” Johnny said.

Ten scoffed. “Please, I’m always ready to dance. You just have to dare me.”

“But hyung drunk and dancing is like on a whole nother level,” Mark commented.

A devilish smirk formed on Ten’s face. “Should I get drunk too?”

“Not tonight. The spotlight is supposed to be on Y/N. Plus we don’t want Ten to start stripping his clothes off in front of the ladies,” Yuta said.

Joy took a sharp intake of breath. “I want to see that.”

While the rest were debating whether or not Ten should get drunk along with you, you were beginning to feel anxious. Your legs shook under the table as stories of drunken people that Joy shared with you started haunting you. You hoped you wouldn’t do something that would make you regret it later.

Taeyong noticed your jittery disposition beside him and placed a hand on your thigh, calming you down a bit. You looked up to meet his concerned eyes. “Are you okay?”

You really were okay, especially being around friends who cared for you. You trusted them to keep you safe. “I am.” You genuinely flashed a smile, lessening his worry.

The drinks arrived for everyone, your friends going for cocktails while shots of liquor were prepared for you. Taeyong chose to not drink, volunteering to be the designated driver and making sure you were safe.

“Okay girl! It’s showtime!” Joy cheered and the rest of your friends shouted with encouragements.

After a deep breath in and out, you downed the first shot. You closed your eyes as you felt your throat burn immediately, all the anxiety leaving your body.

“Holy shit! Her neck is turning red,” Ten commented clearly amused.

After downing a few more shots consecutively, you stopped for a moment when your head was beginning to spin a little out of control, almost making you fall off your seat.

Taeyong noticed it and thought that you had enough drinks. He brought his hand closer to the remaining shots and began sliding it further from you until you stopped his hand and grabbed another shot, bottoms up.

“Y/N I think-”

“No!” You cut him off by shouting loudly. He was taken aback by your outburst, and you took this opportunity to down another shot. This time, you stood up from your seat and slammed your hands on the table. “I’ll do what I want!”

The others grew concerned, fearing that you’d drink more than your body could handle. Only Ten was having a blast watching your wasted self.

Joy decided to interfere. “Y/N, that’s enough drinks-”

Everyone was alarmed to see tears rolling down your face. You stumbled a bit backwards before regaining your stance. A few of your friends stood up on instincts to help you out, but you yelled at them. “Sit back down!”

They instantly sat back down and threw worried glances at one another, silently trying to figure out what would be the best course of action. “Y/N, are you okay?” Johnny asked you as gentle as possible, not wanting to stir you up even more.

“No!” you exclaimed before lowering your voice to a soft murmur. “No...”

Mark spoke up. “What’s wrong, noona?”

“My heart.” Thanks to the liquor, you weren’t going to stop yourself. “Why...”

“Why what, noona?”

“Why can’t I...” You grew silent again, focusing on the feeling of the alcohol running in your blood.

“What is it, Y/N?” Joy asked in a soft voice.

“Why can’t I trust my heart to fall in love?”

Taeyong and Joy took the biggest blow from your words. All this time, Joy thought you weren’t simply interested in relationships. She never knew there was a trust issue involved. Meanwhile, Taeyong felt his heart crack badly. He already had his own personal trauma to overcome for his love, and you having one as well was like trying to break through a double layered brick wall before a happy ending was possible.

You had enough with the enclosed environment and wanted to get some fresh air in your lungs. You kicked your chair back for more room, walking in a not so straight line. Your friends were about to get up again until you yelled, “No one follow me!”

They were all tensed, watching you carefully from their seats and not lose sight of you. When you left the restaurant, Joy stood up with plans to follow you. But Taeyong had beaten her and sprinted out the building, leaving Joy stunned.

Outside, Taeyong caught up to you and pulled your arm, halting your steps. He was shocked to see your crying face.

“Y/N.”

“Tae, I’m scared to fall in love.” You fell to the ground and sobbed your heart out in front of your friend.

His heart shattered into a million pieces. As much as he was dying to know what happened for you to say such a thing, he had to push his curiosity away and comfort you. He bent down to his knees and pulled you into his arms. You fully leaned into his embrace and sobbed. He held you tightly, patting your head gently and kissing the top of your head, hoping to calm you down.

“I’m scared. What if he turns out bad?”

“Shh... I’m here,” he shushed, stopping the bad thoughts from forming in your head.

“I want to fall in love... I want someone to love me,” you cried.

Taeyong hesitated. You were drunk, most likely to forget the events of the night. He wanted to confess. In any other situation, both his and your troubled pasts would have made him bit his tongue back.

But at that moment, he wished with all his heart that you would forget his words once sober.

“I’m in love with you, Y/N.”

The words were clear enough for you clinging onto him for dear life, and Joy who stood at a distance behind him.

- ❀ -

You woke up in your bed with a pounding headache. Getting out of bed really slow, you shuffled your feet in the direction of the kitchen, finding Joy by the cooktop.

“Morning!” she chirped. “Have this,” she pointed at the glass filled with cool water on the counter.

“Mmm, that smells so good,” you moaned, its delicious scent hitting your nose.

Joy smiled. “Of course it would. I’m a better cook than you,” she teased.

You didn’t have the energy to retort back and instead asked her something more important.

“What happened last night?”

Joy paused. Considering the amount of alcohol you consumed, it was no shocker that you wouldn’t remember anything. She secretly wished that you’d forget the happenings of the previous night for two things.

One: because of what you said. She wasn’t mad. She could never be with you because you were too precious for her. She thought back to when she asked you why you weren’t willing to invest yourself in boys. She trusted you that you were saying the truth when you simply weren’t into relationships. People had different outlooks on life. But there was a really small chance that made Joy think you were putting up a tough act to suppress your emotions. And she was right when the alcohol had let you speak your heart that you never did when sober.

And two: Taeyong. Joy didn’t trust him when he confessed his love for you. She didn’t know whether he ‘loved’ you like the other girls or it was a love that ran much deeper. After hearing your drunken words, if you had remembered Taeyong’s words, then you were going to feel troubled.

“Shit, did I do something bad?” you asked worriedly.

“No no. You were interesting, bossing over us,” she giggled. It was quite a contrast to see her usually quiet friend being all loud and demanding when drunk.

“Huh?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Joy laughed at your puzzled expression.

“Okay,” you chose to believe her. “But did anything else happen?” Something was eating inside you, trying to tell you that there was more to the night than what she was implying.

She shook her head, forcing a genuine smile on her face to the best of her ability. “Nothing else happened.” She felt guilty lying to you for the first time, but it was only for your best interest.

You didn’t have another choice but to accept her words. You pushed the unpleasant feeling aside and drank the prepared glass of water.

- ❀ -

When Taeyong hung out with you next time, he didn’t notice any changed behaviour from you. He formed his speculation that you did not have a recollection of your intoxicated night. He felt relieved to have the friendship not change, but it also pained him to carry his unrequited love silently.

It was a month before the exam period and you both waited in your bedroom for the exam schedule to come out any minute on your devices. You only had two finals while Taeyong had three. When the schedule appeared, you searched for your courses and went into brief shock, stunned by the great news that you had your fingers crossed for.

“Tae! Both of mine are on the first day!” You began dancing around the room full of joy.

He laughed at your happy form and searched for his courses on the list. “Awe man, mine are all near the end.”

You paused to take in his words. “Oh. So you won’t be able to come with me.”

“Come where?”

“To South Korea.”

He felt his blood run cold. “Why South Korea?”

You smiled, lost in your thoughts on the dream that was close to becoming a reality. “I wanted to go on a trip there during this winter break if I got at least three weeks of free time. I didn’t think it was actually gonna happen but now that it is, I’m so excited,” you squealed, so over the moon that you were oblivious to Taeyong’s fallen face.

“You’ll be gone for three weeks?”

You thought for a moment. “Actually, the winter term doesn’t start till the second week of January, so I’ll go for a whole month. Wow, I didn’t think this was ever gonna happen. Isn’t this so exciting Tae?” You were jumping on the spot with all sorts of ideas rushing in your mind of what you’d plan to do there. You had already made a list of things to do but with the additional time granted, you were going to perform more research and travel to other regions in the country. Travelling to South Korea in the winter was just one of the experiences you wanted before going there for the warmer season. You wanted to witness the beautiful snow covering the outskirts of the regions, see the Christmas decorations and lighting festivals, and enjoy the warm meals and beverages to battle the cold. You knew the adrenaline rush that you were feeling for your adventure wasn’t going to let you sleep that night. Or in fact many nights until the big day.

Taeyong should have been happy for you, but he felt his heart break with only one thought on continuous loop in his mind.

A month. Without you.

- ❀ -

Joy was so happy to hear your good news, knowing how much you were looking forward to this trip. But neither her nor your friends would be able to join you because of their exam schedules. This meant that it was going to be your first ever solo adventure, which made you feel both nervous and excited for.

The closer the exam period got, the more restless Taeyong’s heart became. He was so used to seeing you almost every day that it was cruel to have you ripped out of his life for a month.

You spent every day updating your trip plans to make sure you had enough free days to relax in between your full agenda. Yes, you had your finals to study for and you made sure to get your review sessions in before you treated yourself to planning.

When the day arrived for you to complete your two finals back to back, you thought you were going to die. But your papers went a lot smoother than you predicted and that added onto your happiness for the big day in less than 48 hours.

Your flight to South Korea.

- ❀ -

Your squad came to drop you off at the airport and wished you well on your big trip.

“Wow Y/N, travelling on your own requires some serious guts. I hope you have a blast,” Johnny said.

“Yeah and keep in touch whenever you get a chance,” Ten added.

“I will,” you promised with a smile.

Mark checked his watch. “It’s almost time for your flight, noona.”

You nodded. Grabbing the handle of your luggage, you were caught off guard from Yuta attacking you with a gentle hug. “Good luck princess. If you need help with anything, I know Seoul better than these boys do.”

Ten rolled his eyes. “As much as I hate to admit it, he’s right.”

“I’m always right. Even about Mark farting.”

“HYUNG!”

You giggled, “Okay.”

After Yuta let you go, Joy jumped in to give you a crushing hug. “Have lots of fun, girl. Video call me no matter what the time is, okay?”

“Okay.”

You haven’t heard the voice of one boy yet. He was silently watching you from afar as you said your goodbye to everyone. You let go of your suitcase and walked over to Taeyong. His eyes were trained on you, slightly red and puffy. You guessed his state was due to sleep deprivation for exam preparations.

You didn’t know he cried all night, not ready to face a month without you.

You encircled your arms around his neck and brought him closer to your body, resting your chin on his shoulder. “Make sure to sleep well. I’ll call you too. Eat well too. I know you’re neglecting your health right now.” You could tell he lost some weight, feeling his boney structure. Nonetheless, he still radiated the warmth you treasured from him.

Taeyong couldn’t think about eating properly or sleeping well. He was even struggling to prepare for his finals. All he wanted was to see you, touch you, be with you.

His eyes were beginning to sting and at last raised his arms to rest around your waist, pulling you closer to his chest. He was doing his very best to stop the tears from flowing down his face. This was supposed to be a very happy moment for you and he didn’t want you worrying about him.

“As much as I’d hate to split you up, Y/N is going to miss her flight if we hold her back any longer.”

Upon hearing Joy’s voice, you pulled away from him. Just as you turned away from him, you felt his hand desperately grasp yours. You turned to look back at him. “I hope you’ll be happy,” he spoke ever so softly, his words different from the plea held in his eyes.

You slid your hand out of his grasp and turned your back to him. Grabbing the handle of your suitcase, you walked in the direction of your flight’s terminal, daring yourself to not look back with the tug you felt at your heartstrings.

- ❀ -

On the road that shines exceptionally

Standing there, I am waiting for you

It’s not cold

When you are in my arms, I can feel the warmth

 It had been four days. Four long days since you left. Your friends understood the first couple were spent on the flight and at the airports. But Taeyong hoped for you to have at least messaged him when you’d reach your accommodation or when having your first meal. His mind was on overdrive, thinking of all the scary possibilities that could have happened to you.

Joy was worried too but she understood that you were trying to adjust to the new environment without stressing out about too many things. The apartment felt lonely without you and she decided to spend most of her days and nights at the boys’ house, developing feelings along the way for the first tall man she met at the party.

 You’re my everything

I want to protect your days and nights

You are a miracle to me, I wish you could see it

Spreading all over me, a gift called you

You’re my night and day

Waiting for you in this street, drawing you again

 Another two days had passed not hearing from you. With a heavy heart, Taeyong dragged his feet to the flower café that had recently become your favourite place to relax and bloom again. Your love for flowers grew every time you stepped into the café and your sparkling eyes always made his heart flutter.

Arriving at the counter, Taeyong forced himself to order a slice of cake and a drink after thinking back at your words.

Eat well too. I know you’re neglecting your health right now.

After picking up his meal, he scanned his eyes around the interior. The table with the basket of magenta lilacs was unoccupied and he made a beeline to it. He reminisced the day he brought you to the café for the first time.

They’re beautiful. Your voice echoed in his head, referring to the lilacs.

He stared long at the clustered petals, lost in his thoughts. He had always sought for tender affection from other girls, without getting too committed to them.

You were a miracle in his life. He didn’t see you like the other girls where he only received. He wanted to give you everything. His love, attention, warmth, touch, happiness. If he could give you his happiness in replacement to taking your sadness, he’d do it. He’d do anything to make you happy.

The more he stared at the magenta lilacs, the more it became clearer. He wanted to jump on his trauma and get even closer to you.

By means of a relationship.

And at that moment, he had one person to talk to.

 An unusually long day

But it’s not too bad because you’re warm

Just like that, with nothing to do

I can live just like that

 Joy finally received your video call a whole week after you left. You apologized and explained that there was a baggage delay, complicating your trip temporarily without all your belongings at hand. You were so stressed of the unexpected situation that it slipped out of your mind to keep in touch with your friends. Instead, you tried to focus on surviving those days with limited essentials in your handbag and things that you purchased from the convenience store.

Taeyong heard the news from Joy during lunch with her at a diner. He was relieved that nothing terrible happened to you apart from the baggage delay. Though it did hurt him that you couldn’t think to contact him as well.

But you going through a tough time when it was supposed to be a happy trip is more painful, he thought.

“I don’t think you wanted lunch with me just to hear about Y/N.” Joy narrowed her eyes on Taeyong.

He knew Joy didn’t trust him. When he confessed his love for you, Joy had butted in, separating your sobbing mess from him. She warned him to never utter those words unless he wanted to trouble you. Taeyong understood and had assured her that it was only because you were drunk and he wanted to comfort you by speaking the truth. Ever since then, they both wished that you’d never regained memory of that night.

He took a deep breath in, composing himself for the intention of the meeting. “I don’t want Y/N to be unhappy.”

Joy sighed. “Are you emotionally blackmailing me?”

He shook his head, feeling a thorn prick at his heart. He knew it wasn’t going to be easy getting Joy’s permission. “No I’m not.”

“What makes you think I can trust you and not have you hurt her?”

Silence.

Saying that he loved you wasn’t a satisfying reason for Joy. She needed Taeyong to prove it to her that he wasn’t going to hurt you. After a long debate in his head, he decided to tell her the truth. “I run away at the thought of commitments in the name of love. Because of my parents’ divorce.”

The news threw Joy off. Then why are you after my Y/N, she thought.

“Y/N knows everything and asked to be friends with me for real and not like with the other girls. We spent a lot of hanging out, both outside and inside the house. We’d hang out in the living room, the kitchen when I’d cook for us, in my bedroom. We spent so much time together that I didn’t know I started falling for her,” he admitted.

Taeyong was met with her silence as she collected her thoughts, making one thing stand out to her. “Did you have sex with her?”

His eyes enlarged from the unexpected inquiry. “Yes.”

Joy raised an eyebrow, questioning if his feelings really were real for you. “The confession happened after you two had sex?”

“Ye-” He realized his mistake without thinking beforehand and began panicking. “No! It’s not what you think. Please!”

She laughed bitterly at him. “You had sex with her and you claim that you’re in love because it was probably the best sex of your life. Your past is sad Taeyong. You have problems and I feel bad for you. I really do. But don’t drag Y/N into your mess.” Joy was ready to leave and be done with the conversation until she heard his next words.

“You’re wrong. It’s not because of sex.”

She chuckled darkly. “Oh really? Please enlighten me,” she said, flashing a fake smile at him and crossed her arms.

He gulped. He was close to drawing the last straw that would make Joy turn her back on him and never give him another chance. “The sex did bring us even closer together. We became more intimate with each other. But even then I was still scared to confess to her because my fear was still there.”

Joy wanted to believe Taeyong. Without forming much biased thoughts, she continued listening.

“After Y/N left for her trip, I lost all appetite to eat. I can’t sleep at night with my heart longing for her. I’m trying to focus on my final preps but I can’t stop thinking about her. I even stopped talking to other girls because I only love her. I got myself to eat only after reminding myself that Y/N wanted me to eat well. And that was especially at the café Y/N loved to go.”

It was at this moment when Joy started to believe his feelings for you.

“What if... what if I tried to get myself to cope with my trauma so that I can be in a relationship with her instead of forever living my life in fear? I know that Y/N has a trust issue that I don’t know about. But what if I can help her get over her fear too? What if my efforts to bring us together officially can make her finally... happy?”

No noise was heard from Joy. Her brain was raking through all the mentioned possibilities. If Taeyong could break through the walls of your heart, the fruitful outcome would be an epitome of love.

“Okay Taeyong. You have my support, but I won’t forgive you if you hurt her.”

 It seemed to be nevеr-ending

At the end of thе long wait

You’re the one

 One month had passed, meaning it was time for your friends to pick you up at the airport’s arrival department. Taeyong could feel his heart beating erratically when it was time for the passengers from your flight to collect their baggages and exit. When his eyes found you, he didn’t prepare his heart for an unexpected shock.

You walked out, searching for your friends with your suitcase at hand. You spotted them, waving eagerly, and walked over to them. But you weren’t alone. Beside you was a young handsome man that almost made Joy swoon if it wasn’t for her feelings for another man. More than the boy having breathtaking looks, she was shocked to see you interact with him.

“Woah... is that guy...” Mark trailed off, unbelieving his sight.

You, a girl who had never befriended a guy on your own, were talking to one in close proximity.

“Wow, he’s so hot.” Ten practically had heart eyes.

“He is,” Johnny agreed.

Yuta loved to brag about his handsome looks but he was stunned by the stranger beside you. “Yeah, and Y/N that close to him means there’s something going on between them.”

Taeyong didn’t want to agree with the others but they were right. The stranger was very handsome, and there could be something going on. That latter thought made his heart break. After what felt like a never-ending wait for you to come back, he was excited to take things slow with you and win your trust for a relationship. However, all his plans had jumped out the window and he felt his eyes sting.

Especially when you linked your arm with the fair-skinned boy.

“Welcome back girl!” Joy attacked you for a bear hug when you neared them.

You laughed hugging her back. You greeted everyone, leaving the boy you had been dying to see again for last. You faced Taeyong and hugged him like you did before your departure. “Hi Tae. I hope you’re doing well,” you whispered in his ear, rubbing his back in a soothing manner.

He closed his eyes in efforts to keep his tears at bay and returned the hug, muttering a soft hello.

You pulled back, smiling at him before grabbing the arm of your new friend for introduction. “Guys, this is Jaehyun. I met him during the trip and he’s here for the study abroad program at our university this term.”

You introduced Jaehyun to everyone one by one. When Jaehyun was officially introduced to Taeyong, he noticed Taeyong fidget with his fingers tensely and a small smirk formed on Jaehyun’s face.

“We can drop you off Jaehyun. Where are you living?” Johnny asked.

Jaehyun hadn’t found an off-campus accommodation yet, thanks to the fact that it was the middle of the middle of the school year. He didn’t want to be stuck in the dorms on campus and his initial plan was to stay at a hotel as he had the money for that.

But why hotel when he could live with you?

“I was gonna ask Joy if it’s okay for Jaehyun to stay at our place until he finds one. I’ll give my room to him and sleep with you,” you suggested to her.

“Oh yeah that’s great with me! I get to cuddle with my Y/N,” Joy giggled.

Taeyong didn’t like the idea one bit. “Why should a guy live with the girls?”

Johnny agreed with him. “You’re right. Jaehyun live with us. And I mean for the term.”

A pang at Taeyong’s heart. He was not looking forward to seeing Jaehyun’s face every day. But it’s better than him being close to Y/N, he thought.

“But hyung, we don’t have a spare room,” Mark said.

“You’re shifting to Yuta’s room. He has a bigger bed.”

“Wow great idea! Mark can be my cuddle buddy!”

Mark groaned at the thought of Yuta clinging to him all night.

- ❀ -

“You what?” Joy couldn’t believe what she was hearing from you.

“I remember that night.”

The boys dropped you and Joy off at your apartment before heading for their house. You dragged Joy to the couch and told her the news.

You weren’t mad at Joy. In fact you were thankful. If you had known before your trip, you would have felt awkward to see Taeyong and avoided him, which would have made you sad. You loved and always looked forward to spending time with him. And so after remembering the words you blurted out that night, you understood Joy jumped in to protect you from getting hurt.

You felt blessed to have a friend like Joy.

“Thank you Joy,” you smiled genuinely at her.

She was relieved that you weren’t mad at her. “When did you remember?”

“Right before I met Jaehyun. And he knows.”

“He knows?”

“I told him about Taeyong.”

During your trip, you couldn’t stop thinking about Taeyong, especially after your regained memory. You were so confused as to whether you should be happy or not that you decided to not contact him altogether. Though the more you ignored him, the more the tightness in your chest grew. Jaehyun noticed your behaviour and asked you what was wrong. For some reason, you trusted Jaehyun in your secrets and told him everything about you and Taeyong.

She lifted her hand to stop you from talking further. “Okay hold up. How are you so chill around Jaehyun?”

Yes, that was a question that you had asked yourself when you had acquainted him upon first meeting. “He helped me get through my tough time there and it was just a coincidence that he was going to be coming here for the term. I guess thanks to you, I was more comfortable becoming friends with him. Plus, brownie points for being handsome,” you joked.

Joy felt her heart blossom for her close friend to finally interact with a boy without her help this time. “Wow Y/N, I never thought I’d see this day come.”

“Me neither.”

A question lingered inside her. “What now with Taeyong? Are you going to feel awkward with him?” Joy wasn’t necessarily worried for Taeyong because her priority was you.

The trip bought you time to think about what you were going to do with his confession floating around your heart. Over the course of your trip, your heart slowly accepted your feelings for him. It was all thanks to your time apart from him to realize how much you missed him and loved him. You craved for Taeyong’s warmth, both physically and emotionally, and that was enough for you to stop running away from your true feelings and give Taeyong a chance. You still remembered Taeyong’s trauma and you guessed it was the reason why he only confessed to you when drunk, so that you would forget about it and move on like nothing happened.

“No I won’t be awkward with him. I love him too Joy.”

She gaped at you. “Seriously? Like in love with him?”

You nodded. “Yes, I’m in love with him.”

Her eyes became wet with tears almost spilling out. This was the best news she had heard from you till this date. You... in love. “Y/N do you have any idea how that makes me feel? After all this time I’ve been worried about you. After that night you got drunk... and I just... it hurt that you were...”

You laughed quietly. “You’re literally the bestest friend I’ve ever had. Seriously Joy, if I had said this to someone else, they would be so happy. And then there’s you, crying,” you teased.

She wiped her tears with the back of her hand. “Well as much as I missed you, something good happened while you were gone.”

She told you of her talk with Taeyong, telling you how much of an effect your absence had on him. Your heart bloomed when you heard that he missed you a lot and had listened to you to eat his meals, even going to your favourite café because he missed you so much.

“Then it’s final. Once I find the right time, I’m going to ask him out.”

- ❀ -

“Why can’t Ten move to your room? Your bed is bigger too!”

“Joy stays over in my room sometimes. I’m not having a threesome with Ten,” Johnny stated with a serious face.

Mark scowled, not liking the idea of Yuta clinging to him and kissing his cheeks at every opportunity he could find.

“Hurry off now. Don’t leave our new housemate waiting in the living room all day. Go clean up and shift to Yuta’s room.”

With a grumble, he stomped his way to fulfill his older brother’s command.

Well at least there was one other person in the house who didn’t like the idea of Jaehyun living there.

While waiting for Mark to empty his room out, the rest of the boys sat on the couches to get to know their new housemate with Taeyong sitting the furthest away.

“So Jaehyun, do you get girls falling for your looks?” Ten excitedly asked, finally getting the chance to ask him that.

Why was that the first thing he got asked out of everything? But it really was a big question. “Yes, and not just girls but guys too. Too many to count.” Back in high school, he’d receive gifts on his desk in the form of food from his secret admirers, usually his favourite bread and milk. He would also have the exterior of his locker be taped with numerous heart shaped notes.

“Wow...” Yuta breathed out. “It kind of sounds like Taeyong but with his girl friends.”

Taeyong didn’t want the wrong impression from the boys and so he revealed the news. “I cut ties with them.”

The air stilled in the living room, with Johnny being the first one to cut it. “What do you mean cut ties?”

“I don’t talk to them anymore.”

“All of them?”

“Yes.”

Ever since he realized his feelings for you, he deleted all the numbers of the girls in his contacts. He lost interest with all of them when he only craved for your tender affection. For your love. He didn’t know what was up between you and Jaehyun, and while that made him jealous, he wasn’t going to go back to his old ‘friends’ because of that.

“Woah... but why?” Yuta asked.

Taeyong eyed Jaehyun, shooting him a glare. He wasn’t going to say your name out loud in front of him. What if Jaehyun’s plan wasn’t only to study there? What if he had something up his sleeve? What if he was going to win your heart?

Jaehyun noticed Taeyong’s hard gaze on him and smirked.

To answer his friend’s question, Taeyong merely said, “Because of someone.”

- ❀ -

The winter term began and much to your delight, you had a class with Jaehyun. You both would have an hour to spare before that class and so you became his personal tour guide as you showed him around your campus, pointing at the different buildings and mentioning the services he could find there. Along the way, you noticed a few students stop in their tracks to look in Jaehyun’s way, their jaws dropping.

When the two of you walked into your almost full class, numerous eyes widened in shock, more jaws dropped, and hushed whispers were heard when laying their eyes on the boy beside you. Some of them had looks of jealously on their faces for you having the privilege to stand beside such a divine being. If your eyes weren’t playing a trick on you, you thought you saw a girl’s head spin almost as if she was going to faint from the unbelievable beauty of the young man. Talk about having a face of a first love.

When you first met Jaehyun, yes you did think he was very handsome. But that was all. No big reactions like your classmates in front of you had.

Why didn’t you crumble like the others?

Because of Taeyong.

Taeyong on the other hand grew restless with the amount of time you spent with Jaehyun. The influx of messages on his phone from unsaved numbers were mostly talks of the newest heartthrob on campus. He knew they were from the girls he had stopped talking to, and he couldn’t care less of the ones texting him that they missed him.

His main concern was if you were going to fall in love with Jaehyun.

The night of the term’s first grand party arrived and your whole squad, now including Jaehyun, attended. A permanent scowl was fixed on Taeyong the entire time as he witnessed Jaehyun being super close to you. A few of his old friends came up to him, asking how he was doing and if he wanted anything, but he simply ignored them. Taeyong glanced at the rest of the crowd around Jaehyun and he had to admit that the messages on his phone were true. Having enough of the stabbing pain in his chest, he downed the alcohol in his hand.

The next night of the weekend meant another party. The boys were getting themselves ready to leave the house once you’d arrive. Joy had to go back to her hometown for a personal matter and you insisted to meet them at their house instead of them coming to pick you up.

Because you had a different plan for that night.

“Noona! Are you ready for tonight?” Mark greeted you when you arrived at the house. Taeyong was sitting on the couch, silently watching you.

“Umm, well I’m not going to the party.”

“What? Why wouldn’t you come princess?” Yuta asked.

Jaehyun answered on your behalf. “She’s going to show me around uptown. I want to see other things than just parties.”

Johnny nodded. “Yes there are other things to see here. Should we come along with you guys?”

Taeyong’s heart inflated, hoping you’d say yes.

“No, we’ll be fine.”

His heart deflated.

Yuta whistled. “Wow sounds like a date to me,” he smirked.

His heart stung.

You laughed. “No, we’re just hanging out,” you clarified.

Hearing that somewhat eased Taeyong’s heart but it wasn’t enough to calm it down. “I’m coming,” he announced.

Everyone turned their heads at Taeyong. His friends were surprised. Jaehyun wasn’t afraid to let a smirk spill onto his face, and you were trying your hardest to hold back your amused smile.

This was what you were hoping.

You knew you hung out with Jaehyun a lot and if Taeyong really was in love with you, he would have been extremely jealous. You weren’t intentionally avoiding Taeyong. With your new friend who was new around here, you wanted to help Jaehyun out as much as you could to make his temporary stay as smooth as possible and that resulted in you not spending time with Taeyong. The Taeyong you craved to have quality time with.

And you were going to make it up to him soon.

The three of you walked over to Taeyong’s car, with Taeyong running off to open the passenger door for you. He wanted you to sit beside him while he drove. You giggled at his puppy look, his desperate attempt to win your heart a little. He didn’t know he had your entire heart.

Right before you got inside the car, you gave Taeyong a quick peck on the cheek, causing a blush to spread over his cheeks under the moonlight. It had been a while since you two shared some intimate moments. And though it was merely a peck, fire had ignited throughout Taeyong’s soul.

Jaehyun silently witnessed the short intimacy between you and Taeyong and hopped into the back seat with dimples on his face.

The streetlights and shops in uptown were decked with winter decorations. It was a shame you missed the Christmas decorations as you loved seeing the streets be ornamented for the holy season. But then Christmas in South Korea was a thrilling experience and you were glad to have experienced it with Jaehyun as your guide.

The three of you walked along the illuminated road. Many of the shops were lit up from the inside indicating that they were open for business. The flower café sat a few shops down from where you three stood.

“Should we go to the flower café first?” you suggested. The chilly winter night had your body craving for a hot caramel drink.

Taeyong was in a bind. He didn’t want to say no to your suggestion, knowing how much you loved to go there. But he didn’t want Jaehyun to learn about it. It was supposed to be your and his sanctuary.

“That sounds cool,” Jaehyun said.

“It is! I love that place so much! Let’s go Tae!” you clung onto Taeyong’s arm to get a vocal approval from him.

Taeyong’s heart somersaulted at your touch and pleading eyes. He accepted his defeat and nodded, letting you drag him to the establishment.

“Okay guys, this is my treat,” you said taking your card out.

Taeyong stopped your hand. “No I’ll pay.”

“No Tae, I suggested this place.”

“I’m not letting you pay on my watch.”

In the midst of you and Taeyong arguing who should pay, Jaehyun slid a $20 bill to the cashier, giving them a look that he was paying for the collective order. “I’m paying guys,” he leaned against the counter smiling.

You pouted. “Jae why? You’re new here. I should be treating you,” you whined.

Taeyong’s heart was going to break a record at this rate with the number of times his heart shattered ever since you came back, which hadn’t even been two full weeks. It was the first time he heard you call Jaehyun in short form. The only other person you did that to was him. Not even with Johnny did you do that and his real name was John.

When you began your search for an empty table, you were a little disappointed to see the table with lilacs taken. In turn, an empty table with a small clear vase holding creamy white gardenias was spotted.

“Wow those flowers are pretty. Let’s sit there,” you said and pulled Taeyong along with you. Even though he was a little, scratch that, very insecure that you hung out with Jaehyun a lot and called him in short form, his heart soared at your unexpected touches that night. After being so deprived of you, every single attention he received from you was enough to set his heart alight.

Jaehyun watched from afar, your complete attention on the boy you loved while Taeyong’s cheeks were kissed with a rosy hue. With a smile, he took a sip of his banana milk and followed you.

- ❀ -

“Bad news!” Joy yelled with a crying face.

She furiously knocked on the door panting. Johnny frantically opened and ushered her inside, trying to calm her down as she continued crying. “What is it?” Johnny asked softly.

The rest of the boys gathered shortly, not getting too close so that she could get some air.

“Y/N’s missing.”

Taeyong’s eyes went wide as his heart dropped to the floor. Ever since the hangout with Jaehyun, you went back to normal of not talking to him. “What do you mean missing?” Taeyong asked.

She shook her head. “I don’t know where she is. I haven’t seen her all day today and she hasn’t been answering my calls or texts.”

It was almost midnight and for you to not have replied back to Joy for a whole day meant something really was wrong.

“Calm down Joy. Have you checked some places Y/N would go to often?” Yuta questioned.

She nodded. “Yeah I did. She’s nowhere.” And Joy began choking on her sobs.

Taeyong didn’t waste another second and ran up to his room, grabbing his keys and jacket. Running back down, he said, “I’m going to go look for her.”

“I’m coming with you hyung,” Mark said.

Joy gave Jaehyun a look, making Jaehyun speak up. “Mark you have a test tomorrow don’t you? You should stay back.”

“What no! I wanna search for noona too!”

“Yeah I agree with Jaehyun. I’ll stay back with Mark so he can sleep while I wait to see if Y/N comes here,” Yuta suggested.

“Yeah I’ll go with Taeyong. And Johnny and Ten can go in another car and cover another area,” Jaehyun suggested.

“Okay sounds like a plan with me,” Ten agreed.

Johnny nodded. “Joy you should stay here and calm down.”

“You think I can calm down by sitting around? I’m coming with you!” she yelled.

Taeyong didn’t like the idea of Jaehyun coming with him. He’d rather search for you alone. But finding you was more important than who his search buddy was.

It was pin drop silent in Taeyong’s car. Jaehyun knew Taeyong wasn’t a big fan of him and found it quite amusing. He was not a single ounce of threat between you and Taeyong.

Taeyong decided to keep his mouth shut, not interested to have small talk with the boy beside him as he drove down the street to where your favourite café sat. He hoped so bad that you’d be there. From the corner of his eyes, he noticed Jaehyun typing something on his phone.

Pulling up to the dimmed lighting of the café, Taeyong was dejected to see the closed sign on the window. You wouldn’t be inside a closed building.

However, Jaehyun unbuckled his seat belt and opened his door.

“Where are you going?” Taeyong asked him puzzled. There were barely any shops along the street that were open considering it was past midnight of a weekday.

“I texted the others to pick me up from here. You’ll find Y/N at the conservation park.” With that Jaehyun left the car and shut the door behind him.

Taeyong was overwhelmed with shock and relief that you weren’t exactly missing. But he was so confused with what all the commotion was about earlier. He pulled down the window. “What’s going on? Why would she do that?” Why would you be in the midst of wildlife, with trails pathed through the forests at night?

Jaehyun held his hands up. “I can’t say anything more. This is Y/N’s order. Now hurry. You don’t want her waiting for you, do you?”

Taeyong didn’t need to be told twice and he pressed on the accelerator of his car, his heart racing along.

When he got closer to the entrance of the conservation area, he was in a dilemma. It was dark with no artificial lights and if it weren’t for the bright moonlight, he wouldn’t know where to drive.

Why would you be here all alone? Who knew what could happen at night here? Wild animal attack? Serial killer on a hunt? He grew super nervous if he was going to find you in time before something bad would happen to you. He stopped the car and thought about calling you.

Only to realize that he didn’t bring his phone.

Fuck.

He cursed himself that he didn’t ask Jaehyun for pointers and he was going to try his very best to find you.

Staying inside his vehicle wasn’t helping with the limited view. He stepped out and tried to focus his eyes onto something that could aid him to get closer to you.

Glow in the dark stickers were stuck on a map in the parking lot. Taeyong thought it was bizarre for the map to have such stickers and his heart leaped, hoping it was your doing.

He parked his car and observed the map, scrutinizing to make out the colours and paths on the board. He found a sticker with TY initials on it, the spot not too far from where he stood. Taeyong knew it was you.

Sprinting towards the marked spot, he noticed a bit of light spilling from the trees that were blocking his view from you. When he walked through them, he abruptly came to a stop and lost his breath.

In front of him stood you, happily smiling that Taeyong had found you on his own. Your hands were clasping something behind your back but he didn’t pay any mind to that at that moment. Instead his eyes were glued to the setting behind you.

Red, pink and white heart shaped balloons were tied to the trees along with some outdoor hanging string lights to illuminate the small area. Letter balloons were tied to the weights and spelled out ‘I LOVE YOU’ as they floated in the air behind a white clothed table. Baskets of different types of flowers sat on the table. He recognized that all of the flowers were those that you and Taeyong had sat by at the flower café. Roses, gardenias, tulips, hyacinths, lilies, and lastly lilacs. Surrounded by the baskets, in the middle of the table sat a medium-sized white teddy bear holding a red heart.

Taeyong’s eyes lingered on the flower varieties and the words ‘I LOVE YOU’ for a while before shifting his gaze back on you.

“Y/N...” His voice failed him from the shock.

You brought your hands in front of you, a red velvety box sitting on the palms of your hands. “Are you just going to stand there?” you teased.

He shook himself, knocking some sense to his feet and walked closer to you. “What’s- Why- all this...” Taeyong’s throat was closing on him. He couldn’t believe all that he was seeing.

You giggled. “What else do you think silly?” You attempted to lighten up the situation when he looked like he was going to bawl his eyes out. You stopped laughing at his lack of response and turned serious.

“I’m in love with you Tae.” You opened up the velvet box displaying the couple rings you purchased. “I got this for us.”

Emotions poured out of his system and he gently grabbed onto your arm, pulling you into his tight embrace. His chin rested on the top of your head and you felt his chest rumble as your ear was pressed to his pounding heart. It felt like the world stopped spinning, you in his arms, his tears speeding down his face and falling on your hair that you didn’t mind the slightest bit. What mattered was the warmth that Taeyong emitted.

If you could spend an eternity in Taeyong’s arms, you would.

- ❀ -

You and Taeyong were on your way back to his house after packing everything in his car. He hadn’t let go of your hand ever since he pulled away from the hug, even when driving with his one hand. You joked that he had to at least let you go for you to sit in the passenger seat unless he wanted you to sit on his lap. And while he loved that idea, your safety came first.

“I can’t believe you remembered Y/N.” He was relieved to hear that you remembered his first confession now that the feeling was mutual. “And how did you even wait for me all alone? Weren’t you scared?”

“I wasn’t scared. But my heart was going crazy for you to find me. Joy was with me first and when we were done setting everything up, she almost like teleported to your place.”

“Wow... so that was all Joy acting. She’s such a great actress.”

You laughed. “Yup.”

A small frown appeared on his face. “Jaehyun knew too.”

“Yeah why?”

He grew silent, opting to not voice his concern and instead gave your hand a gentle squeeze.

“You’re jealous of Jaehyun, aren’t you?” you narrowed your eyes on him while his eyes were glued on the road.

Taeyong contemplated before nodding slightly.

You brought your other hand to lay on top of his. “You have nothing to be jealous about. We literally have like a sibling bond. He helped me get through so much in South Korea. I only wanted to do the same while he’s here for the study abroad program.”

His heart stilled. “Did you just say sibling?”

“Yes Tae. He’s like a brother figure to me.”

“But wouldn’t he...”

“What? Like me in that way? Of course not. He may have a pretty face of a heart stealer but he’s super loyal when it comes to friendships. He would never do anything bad to ruin relationships. In fact, he loves playing cupid because his birthday falls on Valentine’s day. That’s why he was a part of my plan tonight. He wanted us to be official so bad after hearing me talk so much about you.”

Taeyong felt a million weights lifted off his soul. Now that he heard about Jaehyun’s true personality, he felt bad for thinking Jaehyun was the devil. He was grateful that Jaehyun wasn’t the bad guy who was going to steal you away from him.

“You talked about me?” he asked flustered that you would mention him in your conversations with Jaehyun.

“Of course I would. I love you so much, like seriously crazy, Tae,” you said with a wide grin.

His heart was ready to rocket into space. He lifted your hand to his lips, placing a kiss on your palm. “I really love you too, Y/N.”

- ❀ -

You and Taeyong walked into the house, hands interlocked and being welcomed by all your friends for your safe return.

“You had us worried Y/N!” Yuta began. “What happened?”

“Yeah Joy and Jaehyun said it’s a surprise. What’s the surprise?” Ten asked with his face scrunched up.

You gave Taeyong a glance and held the intertwined hands up, showing the crew the couple rings. “We’re dating.”

Joy and Jaehyun had seen it coming and a huge smile was plastered on their faces. Meanwhile shocked expressions were registered on Johnny’s, Ten’s and Yuta’s faces. Johnny was the most surprised, followed by Yuta gaping. Ten was very amused that his friend stopped talking to other girls because of you. “Wow hyung, congrats! And you too Y/N!” The rest of your friends sent their warm regards to you and Taeyong.

“Wait till Mark hears this tomorrow morning,” Yuta said. “He’ll be thinking about it all day.”

“Watch him accidentally write it on his test,” Johnny laughed.

- ❀ -

If you were over the moon when you first thought about your trip to South Korea, you couldn’t even put into words of how you felt with Taeyong. You looked forward to seeing him, getting all giddy by his texts. He’d come to wait outside your classes, giving you a peck on the cheek as you ran into his arms. He’d give you back hugs when you would be trying to search for a book on the shelf in the library, resting his chin on your shoulder and kissing your neck. You pretty much lived at the boys’ house now more than you did before, specifically his bedroom, because you couldn’t separate yourself from him. Why should you even? Taeyong was your boyfriend. And he wanted the same thing. So what if his bed was twin sized? It was the perfect size for lovebirds like you two. He loved holding you in his arms and placing petal-like kisses on the top of your head during cuddle sessions. Every touch of his love sent your entire body blazing and you wished it’d never come to an end.

You hung out less with Jaehyun and you felt bad about it. In turn, your other friends hung out with him, especially Johnny taking him out for coffee runs. Joy did feel a bit jealous with Johnny’s new mate and could relate to how Taeyong felt with you and Jaehyun.

The month of midterms was coming up. You were looking forward to a particular boy’s special day that was going to give everyone a relief from the stress of assignments and examinations. Johnny, Joy and Ten took up the mission to organize a grand party for Jaehyun, with Johnny vowing to plan the best birthday and Valentine’s party for a student on an abroad program.

Your squad, minus Jaehyun who was meeting with an academic advisor, headed inside the library and searched for empty seats for the seven of you.

“Over there guys!” Mark spoke a bit too loudly for the librarian’s liking, earning a shush.

Ten snickered. “Mark seriously? Weren’t you supposed to be the goody two shoes?”

“Give him a break Ten. He got a little too excited seeing a huge empty table for the first time,” Yuta commented.

The poor young boy only groaned in response, wishing he could murder his hyungs in their sleep.

Johnny led the way, placing his bag on the opposite side of where you and Taeyong sat down shortly. Joy and Ten joined him as the trio were going to study for the second part of the math course. Mark had beaten Yuta to take the empty seat beside you, with the older one taking a seat at the end of the table.

“Okay guys. Do you have any idea how this integral shit works?” Johnny asked.

“Oh hyung I know!” Mark beamed at the topic mentioned. “Can I help?”

“No. Like our prof said. We should figure it out ourselves ‘cause no one’s gonna help us during the exams,” Ten recited.

“Yeah okay so what’s the first step to solve this shitshow?” Johnny pointed at the complicated question that their professor provided in class.

“Guys my head hurts,” Joy complained.

“It’s okay Joy. We got this. I’m going to find an integral calculator on Google.” Johnny pulled up his laptop and began clicking away.

“Okay hyung. I’ll see if this lazy man just stole it from the textbook. If he did, we’ll easily find the solutions online.”

“I don’t get why you can’t just ask me for help if you’re just gonna look up the answers,” Mark grumbled but the trio only ignored him.

Yuta heard Mark. “Awe does my baby tiger want to help?”

Mark stayed silent, afraid of where Yuta was going with this.

“Under the table-”

“HYUNG!”

The librarian grew furious and sent a glare at Mark, holding up a yellow card that had Yuta laughing hard. Mark took this chance to shove the older one off his seat, causing Yuta to fall flat on his butt.

Taeyong was searching for a book in his bag, his shoulders sinking at the thought that he forgot it in his bedroom. “Love, I’ll be back. I’m going to look for the book I need to write this paper on.”

You sent him a smile. “Okay.”

He smiled at you and got up from his seat, beginning his quest for the novel.

Taeyong hadn’t walked too far until he bumped into a girl, realizing who it was after a few seconds.

“Oh sorry Bella.”

She smiled. “That’s alright. I haven’t heard from you in a while.” Bella was a friend who gave him the love he needed months ago before he started loving you.

“Yeah.” He didn’t know what else to say to her, not interested in small talks.

“I missed you,” she spoke ever so softly.

He didn’t miss her because he had made it clear to everyone what his intentions were ahead of time.

“I need to talk to you,” Bella said and grabbed his hand, not giving Taeyong a chance to refuse and pulled him through the tall bookshelves, going deeper and deeper until it was impossible to find them within seconds.

You had seen the encounter from your seat. Taeyong talking to an unknown girl didn’t bother you. But the second that girl pulled Taeyong out of your sight, something didn’t quite sit well in your stomach. You wanted to go after them and see what it was about. Everyone at your table was occupied, the trio still scratching their heads at the math problem, and Yuta messing around with Mark.

You stood up and headed in the direction of where the duo disappeared, stunned that you didn’t see them immediately behind the bookshelves.

Where did you go Taeyong?

You walked around, turning your head in all directions at every opening until you bumped into a tall boy.

Lucas.

You recognized the boy in one of your classes. He was always loud, disturbing nearby classmates who were trying to focus on the lecture content. Quite a flirt towards girls as well, excluding you thankfully. You always ignored him and he did the same in a respectful manner, even when the two of you ended up sitting beside one another.

You muttered an apology and tried to walk around him, but he blocked your way.

That was a first. He had never bothered you before. You let out a deep breath, pushing the task of finding Taeyong aside for the moment. “What is it?”

- ❀ -

“You should believe me Taeyong. I only want the best for you.”

Taeyong couldn’t believe her. “No Bella, Y/N would never do that to me. And it’s better if you leave my sight now before I raise my voice at you.”

She shook her head not backing down. “I won’t. What makes you think Y/N will stay loyal to you? She’s never looked another guy before you.”

“Exactly my point. Y/N wouldn’t ever betray me.”

“No Tae. Now that she gave you a chance, she’ll be more comfortable looking at other guys. Maybe even behind your back. Don’t you think that can happen?”

Her words stirred something inside him, thinking about Jaehyun. Yes, he knew Jaehyun wasn’t a threat but the thought of how you made friends with him abroad without telling anyone had him momentarily think that you could possibly-

Taeyong shook his head, trying to shake Bella’s words out of his mind. “You’re just trying to make me doubt her, aren’t you? I’m not gonna-” he stopped suddenly biting his tongue. It was better to just leave instead of fighting with a wall. He turned his back on her to leave before she could brainwash him more.

But Bella wasn’t done with him just yet. She grabbed his shoulder forcefully turning him around and placed her lips on top of his in a blink. When Taeyong realized what Bella was doing, he pushed her away, not even in the gentlest manner and looked at her incredulously. “What the fuck Bella?!” He turned not glancing back at her and failed to notice the sinister smile on her face.

It didn’t feel like a good day for him to write his paper. He just wanted to take you home and cuddle with you all day.

He walked through the endless bookcases, attempting to figure out where on earth he was. Bella had caught him off guard when she dragged him away that he couldn’t think about anything else other than what the girl wanted to discuss with him. When Taeyong passed by one of the passageways without much thought, he froze in his steps, his heart getting caught in his throat. Backing up slowly, he looked at a guy. Super close to you. He couldn’t see your face clearly as your hair blocked your side profile.

Your back was pressed flat against the bookshelf as Lucas caged you in his arms. You threatened him to leave you alone but he only laughed at your face. You were afraid of him because he was really tall, and his smirk made him look a lot more intimidating. If you tried to get physical on him, you were terrified what he’d do in return. You frantically looked around to see if anyone was nearby to cry for help. Your heart leaped to see Taeyong but then it did a free fall when your eyes lingered on his face.

A bright red lipstick stain on his lips.

You never wore lipstick and you knew it had something to do with that girl from earlier.

Taeyong stormed his way towards you two, briefly glancing at Lucas in disgust, and when his eyes landed on you, you felt all the colour drain from your face.

“What are you doing with him?” Taeyong asked and at that moment you didn’t know if you were more afraid of Lucas...

Or Taeyong’s furious eyes.

You were speechless. First, he went off to kiss a girl behind your back. And second, instead of saving you, he turned the entire situation on you. You never thought Taeyong would ever doubt you for cheating behind his back, and you never thought he would cheat on you.

Lucas took this chance to kiss your cheek. You were startled by his bold move and pushed him off with all the anger you had for both him and your boyfriend. “What the fuck Lucas?! And you,” turning to Taeyong, “Why the fuck is there lipstick on your lips?”

Taeyong laughed bitterly with his breaking heart, not caring about the lipstick stain and was amused by you dodging his question. “I asked first. You literally avoided answering me when you-”

“Because you’re turning this all on me after you smooched off that girl!” You face was red, beyond furious at the accusation. “Don’t you dare talk to me!” you yelled, not caring that you were in a library. Without giving Taeyong a chance to retort back, you turned on your heel and hurriedly jogged back to the table with hot tears descending down your face.

You wiped the tears off with the back of your hands angrily and began throwing your stuff in your bag carelessly. Your three friends looked at you in alarm to see your crying face. You didn’t care where your other two friends were. All you wanted to do was get away from everyone, especially him.

“Y/N? What-”

Before Joy could ask, you ran out the library.

Joy quickly packed her belongings. “I’m gonna go,” she informed and rushed after you.

Johnny and Ten looked at one another in worry and later saw Taeyong walk back to the table with a scowl. He had already wiped the lipstick off his face.

“What happened Taeyong?” Johnny asked.

“Nothing,” he tried to brush it off, not in the mood to talk about it.

“It was definitely something!” Johnny’s voice boomed with such resonance that it made the librarian draw the last straw and kicked the boys out.

That wasn’t even a problem when they had a bigger problem at hand.

On the way down the steps of the library, Yuta and Mark had caught up to them, asking what happened that made everyone leave the library suddenly. Taeyong hadn’t said a word yet, the scowl permanent on his face.

Johnny wasn’t content with the silence. “I’m not letting you into the house if you don’t speak up, young man.”

Right at that time, Lucas exited the library, passing by the boys casually. Taeyong noticed him and saw Lucas shoot him an evil smirk, shaking his head in disappointment and left.

Dropping his scowl, Taeyong lifted his arm to stare long at the smudged lipstick on the back of the hand.

His heart stung badly, the feeling of regret slowly creeping into his heart.

- ❀ -

You had gotten back to your apartment with Joy hot on your trails. You threw your bag angrily on the couch and walked to your bedroom, slamming the door shut on Joy. You wanted to be alone when crying. Crying for the boy that you thought wouldn’t hurt you. Crying because he betrayed you. Crying because Taeyong witnessed another man harass you in front of his eyes and didn’t do anything about it.

Your legs gave up, sliding down onto the floor as you cried.

“Y/N?” Joy didn’t want to barge into your room. Curiosity was eating her up to learn what happened, but she knew you well enough that you needed your space.

When she didn’t hear a response from you and only your cries, she decided to message him.

- ❀ -

“There’s no way Y/N would cheat on you! Do you even hear yourself?”

“But it’s true. I saw it, Johnny.”

“Nonsense! I don’t believe it. Seriously use your brain Taeyong!”

None of his friends believed him. They’d known you for almost half a year now. They had a feeling that you wouldn’t do anything to break the trust of your friends, especially your boyfriend. Jaehyun was something they all assumed at first before Jaehyun cleared it up.

“Isn’t it a coincidence that at the same time Bella talked to you, that guy was with Y/N too?” Ten voiced out. “What if it was a setup?”

Now that Taeyong had thought through the entire situation at the library, he was getting more afraid that he had gotten into Bella’s words and wrongly mistrusted you. Even worse, he felt like killing himself for not saving you and beating Lucas up for what he did to you.

You needed help and Taeyong, literally a few steps away, overlooked that and turned the table on you.

He gripped his hair in anger and hung his head low in disappointment.

Johnny’s phone began ringing and excused himself out the living room. “Hey Joy,” he greeted not sounding as cheerful as he usually would.

“What happened? Y/N is bawling her eyes out and I have no idea how to calm her down.”

He explained the case to her and at the end of it, Joy was gripping her phone so tightly that she was close to throwing it at the wall. “I’m going to kill Taeyong!” she screamed, her face going all red. “Where is he?”

“As much as we want to knock sense in him, we need to think of a way to clear the misunderstanding.”

Joy sat down on the couch, counting numbers in her head to calm herself down. “Okay, but I’m never forgiving him for this.”

The doorbell rang and Joy got up to answer it. She swung the door open revealing a worried Jaehyun.

- ❀ -

“Who the hell was that guy? We need to talk to him.” Mark said.

“More like we need to beat him to pulp for doing that to Y/N!” Yuta corrected. “The exact thing someone should have done at that time,” he said throwing shade at Taeyong.

Taeyong wanted to dig his own grave the more the boys talked about it.

The front door slammed open, the person not bothering to close it. Jaehyun looked around for the boy at fault, making eye contact with him and stormed over. Standing right in front of the sitting boy, he demanded for Taeyong to stand up. Taeyong did without hesitation and was ready to accept a blow as he deserved it. The rest of the boys gathered around closely, ready to hold back Jaehyun if a fight broke out.

“Listen to me carefully Taeyong. As much as I want to punch you in the face, I’m not a man of violence. And Y/N would never want that either.”

Upon hearing your name, Taeyong’s heart broke even more.

“Y/N gave you a chance. She could have easily moved on with her life without you. Heck she could have lived her life without confessing to you. There was literally no need for a relationship seeing how you two have problems! The reason why she gave you a chance is because she loves you.”

A tear slipped down Taeyong’s face. Everything that came out of Jaehyun’s mouth was true and hit him right in the center of his heart. You and him couldn’t have happened if it weren’t for you two gathering the courage to get over the personal issues. What you had with him was fragile and a slight sever in the relationship would mean an end to the trust.

“What do I do now?” Taeyong whispered more to himself.

Jaehyun heard him. “You’re going to beg for her forgiveness. And you’re not giving up.”

- ❀ -

The night fell, and you laid your head on your beloved friend’s lap. Your eyes were closed due to the fatigue that added up when you cried, and Joy gently stroked your hair in efforts to soothe your aching heart.

Your phone was on silent, not in the mood to communicate with anyone. It sat beside Joy so she could check to see if you’d get any urgent notifications.

You hadn’t spoken a word when you left your room. Joy was immensely relieved for you to have finally come out of your room that she didn’t mind your silence. Baby steps, she thought. You’d talk in due time when you were ready.

The phone lit up beside her, her eyes landing on it right in time. She didn’t want to ask you in fear that you’d start crying again and so on your behalf, Joy declined Taeyong’s incoming call.

Taeyong knew it wasn’t going to be easy for you to forgive him. But like Jaehyun said, he wasn’t going to give up.

- ❀ -

The next few days, you had been avoiding Taeyong. He would call and message so often that you had enough of the painful sensations in your heart every time you saw a notification from him and blocked him altogether.

When his attempts to get through you with his phone failed, he decided to make a trip to your apartment. You had seen it coming and told Joy to handle him while you hid in your room.

Joy wasn’t going to risk opening the door in case Taeyong invited himself in without permission. When she heard a series of doorbell ringing, she unlocked her phone to call him.

“Taeyong leave.”

“No! Please let me see her,” he pleaded. She could hear the hoarseness in his voice.

“Y/N doesn’t want to. And I’m not opening the door so instead of wasting your time and giving her stress because she’s clearly trying to avoid you, leave.” There was not a single ounce of warmth in Joy’s tone. She had given Taeyong a chance to not let her down, and he did the exact thing she feared.

Taeyong heaved a sigh of defeat, giving up until he thought of a better way to get closer to you.

Joy breathed out in relief, thankful that he left without making much of a commotion. She cautiously walked over to your closed room and put her ear against the door. Instead of your cries, she was met with your silence. Opening your door, she found you sitting on your bed, your arms hugging your legs and your chin rested on top. Your eyes void of any emotions as you tried to numb the agony in your heart.

Joy carefully sat down beside you as if you were a bubble that would burst any second. “Can I ask you something?”

You inhaled deeply and nodded.

“Are you going to break up with him?”

Break up... with Taeyong.

The thought of ending your relationship with Taeyong sent a million pins and needles at your heart. Regardless of everything that happened, that was one thing you wished never happened. He made you happy, feel so alive with a love that you had never experienced in your life.

But flashbacks to the what happened in the library killed you.

“No,” you croaked out. “But he-”

“I know everything Y/N. Johnny told me. I’m not trying to take his side after what he did to you. But nothing like what you think actually happened between him and that girl.”

A pinch of pain lifted from your heart, hoping your boyfriend was as innocent as your friend claimed. “What? But he had-”

“That girl apparently jumped on him. The others think this was a set up to break you and Taeyong up.”

- ❀ -

The next time you had a class with Jaehyun, he didn’t dare to speak about Taeyong to you and opted to talk about other things. You were starting to feel better with the impression that Lucas personally didn’t want to inflict any harm on you. And you had confirmed this the next time you saw him on campus with Jaehyun thankfully beside you.

You took cover behind Jaehyun when Lucas approached holding his hands up to show that he meant no harm.

“Look I’m really sorry. I only did as I was told and I didn’t actually mean to scare you like that,” he said to your eyes as you peeked over Jaehyun’s shoulder.

“Why did you do it?” Jaehyun asked coldly.

“She was giving me money for it. It was a dick move but don’t we need money as broke students? And I was going to tell you the truth after I got the money. Seriously.”

Jaehyun looked over his shoulder at you, wordlessly asking you for the next move. Your heart rate slowed down when you decided to believe in Lucas. “But why would that girl do that?” you asked.

Lucas shook his head, not knowing the exact reason. “I think she’s jealous. As a lot of girls would be. Taeyong is really popular. For them to hear that he’s in a relationship would… you know?”

You nodded slowly and came out from behind Jaehyun, feeling a lot braver.

“Once again Y/N, I’m really sorry for scaring you.” When you stayed silent, he took your silence as a sign to leave.

Jaehyun let out a sigh and turned to you, observing your silence.

You were still hurt by Taeyong’s lack of trust in you, led astray by someone else’s words. The girls were going to be an issue. You figured that they weren’t going to stop, which meant that if you and Taeyong wanted to keep the relationship alive, an unbreakable trust had to be formed.

But you didn’t know if you could trust Taeyong just yet. He did it once. He could do it again. Taeyong was going to have to win your heart if he was serious about you.

For that, only time could tell.

- ❀ -

Jaehyun informed Taeyong of your encounter with Lucas. When Taeyong learned that it was all Bella’s plan, his blood boiled in anger. Not at Bella. Not at Lucas.

At himself.

He was almost about to give up on you as you deserved someone so much better than what he was. Pathetic. But Jaehyun knocked some sense in him to not give into his frustration and instead think of a way for you to forgive him.

Taeyong got into contact with Joy, asking her when you would be at your place and assured her that he wasn’t going to see you.

The first time he came by, Joy trusted Taeyong to not barge in and opened the door. He quietly stood there, unmoving, holding some things.

Your ear was pressed against the bedroom door in attempt to eavesdrop their conversation. You couldn’t make out the inaudible mumbles until-

“Y/N come out!”

Your heart rate picked up. Was Joy calling you out while Taeyong was there? You opened the door enough for one eye to check on the situation, but it didn’t give you much of a view.

Seeing that you were taking awhile, she added, “He’s not here. Don’t worry.”

You opened the door fully and walked out, heading to the direction of the voice. In the kitchen, you saw Joy lay a bouquet of lilacs on the counter along with a tray holding two drinks and a small bag of baked goods fitted in one of the empty cup spots.

“What’s this?” you asked surprised.

“He gave you, well us these treats so we can have energy to study. And these flowers... he didn’t say anything.”

The dull pain inside you converted into a blossoming feeling. Your heart warmed at the thought that Taeyong was taking care of you when you weren’t talking to him and refused to see him.

Joy noticed a white note tucked in between the stems of the bunch. “Oh there’s something here. I think you should read it.” She handed you the note.

Slowly you unfolded it and read his handwriting.

- I’m sorry. I don’t deserve you. I’m not worthy for you to forgive me. But please take care of yourself. Don’t fall sick. Don’t stress too much. Eat well, sleep well too. I love you.

- ❀ -

Everyday Taeyong came to drop off some food and beverages, whether it’d be from a coffee shop, your favourite takeout or even his homemade foods that you loved so much. Joy would see the forced smile and the gloomy look in his eyes during the delivery. He wouldn’t say anything to Joy and before she could ask about himself, Taeyong would already be walking away.

One day, Joy had to meet Johnny and Ten for a review session. You were home alone and Taeyong wanted to give you food.

But how was he going to do it without you seeing him?

You got a message from Joy.

Joy: Taeyong is going to doorbell and drop some food by the door. He’ll leave right away so you won’t see him

Your heart accelerated. Every time you saw Joy place food on the counter that Taeyong brought for you, your heart melted. The note he had given you on the first day was tucked safely in your notebook, seeing it right away upon opening it. The lilacs were sitting in the living room in a white vase. Every time you walked out of your bedroom, your eyes would land on them, thinking about the first time you saw them with him.

The doorbell rang.

Taeyong.

You tried to calm down your quickened breathing, debating whether you should catch him or wait for his departure. Ultimately, you decided against waiting for him to leave, a small flicker in you wanted to see him.

You opened the door and saw a cloth bag on the floor with clear glass containers of the foods he cooked. You turned your head right in time to catch a glimpse of his figure, walking into the elevator and not glancing back at you.

- ❀ -

After you finished writing your first midterm, you pulled out your phone and dialed a number.

“Y/N! Oh my God! How are you?”

You smiled at hearing Ten’s cheerful voice. “I’m okay thanks. How are things with you?”

He groaned. “Ugh, what can I possibly say about math? Why did I do this to myself? Anyways what’s up?”

“Is Taeyong near you?”

“No I’m alone.”

“Do you know what he’s doing today? Like is stressed for anything right now?”

He was silent for a bit. “I don’t know what he’s doing today. He’s pretty unpredictable these days. Why- Wait a minute! Don’t tell me you want to see Taeyong!”

Ten took your stunned silence as a yes and you heard him scream a series of yeses, cuing you to cut the call. The entirety of your midterm exam, you couldn’t stop the gnawing at your heart, couldn’t stop thinking about Taeyong.

Going to the blocked contacts list, you found Taeyong’s number and unblocked him. On the messages app, your fingers hovered over the keyboard, afraid of what he felt towards you. Would he be mad at you for not talking to him this long? Your fear was irrational because he wouldn’t have dropped by every day to deliver food if he was. Maybe he did it every day because he became used to it.

You took a deep breath in and typed a message, sending it right away.

Taeyong felt his phone vibrate beside him. He was currently working on the written assignment that was supposed to happen at the library before the unfortunate event. He pried his burning eyes away from the laptop screen and onto his phone, his heart stopping.

A message from you.

At the speed of light, he picked his phone up, wishing his eyes weren’t playing a trick on him.

It really was you.

Love: Are you busy?

He wanted to call you. He was desperate to hear your voice. But he didn’t want to push his luck.

Taeyong: No

Love: Where are you?

Taeyong: At home

Love: Can you meet me?

Taeyong: Of course, where?

Love: Parking lot of the campus. We’ll go somewhere from there.

He wasted no time, grabbing the essentials including his phone this time, and hurried out the door.

You waited at the spot, trying to think of where to go. For what you wanted to talk about, you wanted it to be a secluded area where no one else would likely be at that time. Lost in your thoughts of where to go, you didn’t hear a car pull up beside you.

Taeyong’s car.

He stepped out and rounded his car, walking closer to where you stood on the curb. “Y/N,” he called you quietly, scared that he was going to make a wrong move and have you run away from him.

When you locked your gaze with his, you felt the time slow down. You missed him so much. You longed to feel the warmth in his arms, like he would be shielding you from the world. You missed the feeling of his lips on you. You missed spending time with him, cuddling with him, kissing him. Everything.

You missed him because you loved him, but you didn’t know if you could trust your heart to him just yet.

“Tae,” you whispered and a tear slip down your face, instantly drying from the chilly weather.

Taeyong smiled genuinely for the first time after a while, and it made you feel a bit better that he wasn’t mad at you. “Thank you. And I’m really sorry. I’ll spend the rest of my life saying sorry-”

“Don’t,” you cut him off. “I wanted to talk to you.”

He nodded frantically. “I’ll listen to anything you say.”

You asked Taeyong to drive you both to the conservation park, the same one where you confessed to him. The drive there was silent. You weren’t going to make small talk with him just yet. Meanwhile, Taeyong’s hand were getting sweaty as he gripped the steering wheel tightly, nervous about what you were going to say. He didn’t know if you were breaking up with him or not, and the thought of you doing so devastated him.

After he parked the car, you wasted no time and got out of the car with Taeyong following. You thought hard contemplating whether to do it or not, and at the end let your heart give in. When he jogged up to you, you laced your fingers with his. The small action made Taeyong’s heart explode, sending an immense amount of hope that things might become okay between you two.

You led him along the trails in the forest, walking in the familiar direction when you and Joy came here for the first time.

Taeyong recognized the path that once led him to the big surprise and thought you were taking him there. To reminisce that night. But he was wrong when you passed the spot. You were taking him somewhere else.

You stopped at the end of the trail, leaving Taeyong speechless. In front of his eyes was a sparkling blue lake with trees decorated along the other inaccessible side. The water sat still, unmoving in the chilly weather, creating a perfect mirror on its surface. Only a few ripples in the presence of gentle wind broke it fleetingly before regaining the seamless reflection.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” you asked.

Taeyong agreed but stayed mute. He was waiting for you to talk. The main reason why you wanted to see him.

“I wanted to tell you something no one knows. Something Joy doesn’t know... about my past,” you continued.

He felt his heart stop beating. You never brought it up to him and so he didn’t you were ever going to talk about it.

You squeezed his hand a little tighter out of anxiety. You didn’t ever want to talk about it, thinking that it wasn’t going to really mean anything now. It was your pain that you grew up witnessing. It was supposed to be something left in the past and never brought up again. For that reason, you were never ready to talk about it.

But if you and Taeyong wanted to form an unbreakable trust, you had to open up to him, even if it was just a little, and have him understand why you were the way you were.

“Joy asked me once a while back whether it was because of my dad. For not being interested in relationships. I guess it is.”

“Why?” he asked gently.

“Because he emotionally abused my mom.”

You heard him gasp and it felt as if time had stopped around you, memories of your past flooding back to you.

Speaking ill about your significant other, belittling them, asserting dominance. That wasn’t love. Invalidating their feelings, making them cry, having no respect for them. That wasn’t love. It was emotional torture. Not just to your mom but to you witnessing it all as well. You were in a way grateful to be an only child so your unborn siblings wouldn’t have to see it and mature the way you did.

With a gentle squeeze of your hand, Taeyong brought you back to the present moment. “Y/N, I’m so sorry,” he spoke so softly.  

You shook your head. “No, I’m sorry. I don’t think I can say anything more. It’s too hard for me. It’s something I try to forget. But I guess it’s scarred in my heart.”

“And you don’t have to say more. I understand.” He rubbed his thumb in circles on the back of your hand, hoping to soothe you.

“I became aware of it in middle school that it wasn’t supposed to be normal. It was too much for me to see my own dad do it to my mom. That’s why I guess I never bothered myself with boys and relationships.”

“Oh my God, I’m really-”

“Don’t you dare say sorry again.”

He bit his tongue before that word slipped out. “But... can I ask you something... about them?”

“Yeah.”

“Are they still together?”

“Yes.”

“Why didn’t your mother leave him?”

You thought that too. You desperately wished for them to divorce or just live separately. It killed you to see your mom be tormented and broken-hearted every single day. “She never left him because she was dependent on him. And she would claim that it wasn’t the real him and it was his way of showing love.” You thought it was absurd. You knew she was lying. But as a child, you didn’t know what else to do other than to accept it.

“Are they still the same?”

You shook your head. “I don’t know when or why things changed after I left for uni. Whenever I’d go back to see them, it looks like my dad is putting an effort to not hurt my mom. Something must have happened after I left that knocked some sense in him, I guess,” you chuckled to yourself. Even though your dad was getting better at respecting your mom, the pain of seeing of your mom cry to herself every day remained in your heart.

Taeyong was quiet for a moment. The scar from your past was still there and he wanted to be careful and not prick it by saying the wrong thing. After some thought, he asked, “Can I ask you something?”

You laughed quietly, remembering the day when this exact thing happened with the roles reversed. “Yeah.”

“Can you trust me?” He made his mind up. Knowing about you and your past, he was never going to doubt you again. He wasn’t going to jump to conclusions like the way he did with Jaehyun and Lucas.

“I can. But not if you-”

“I won’t ever make assumptions or doubt you again. Like the way I did with Jaehyun and Lucas. I’ll always trust you with my whole heart. I mean it.” He gave your hand a gentle squeeze.

You sent him a weak smile. “Okay. I’m trusting you.”

He smiled at you in a loving manner to which you reciprocated.

You reminded yourself of one more thing to say. “Also Tae, I’m sorry.”

He was puzzled by your apology. Why are you when I’m the one at fault, he thought. “For what?”

“For doubting you, for kissing that girl.”

He shook his head frantically. “You shouldn’t be the one to say sorry. It’s all my fault. It wouldn’t have gotten bad if I didn’t... I’m really-”

“Tae,” you narrowed your eyes on him.

He gave you an awkward smile and cleared his throat. “So... you won’t break up with me?”

You laughed. “As serious as everything I said sounds, and for something that you realized your mistake after, I can give you another chance. You’re lucky I love you so much.”

Taeyong let out a deep breath, feeling his shoulders lighten incredibly. “Thank goodness. I thought the talk was going to be about us breaking up.”

You tenderly smiled at him. “How can I break up with you when you sent food every day? Especially when you sent me your delicious home-cooked meals. That’s literally so sweet of you,” you cooed.

Though the cold air coloured his cheeks rosy, your compliment made his cheeks turn beet red. He giggled it off and showcased his beautiful heart-stopping smile. “I love you too, Y/N.”

- ❀ -

Ten had spread the news of you getting into touch with Taeyong at the speed of light. When Taeyong brought you to his place, everyone was waiting to see the good news. Mark jumped repeatedly on the spot in excitement, squealing and slapping Yuta’s arm in the process. “Ow Mark!” Johnny gave Joy a side hug, and observed a faint pink colour her cheeks, smiling at her. Joy finally forgave Taeyong after you had done so. As long as you were happy with him and everything got sorted out, she was happy. And last but not least, Jaehyun. He was very delighted to see his roommate win your heart again that his dimples were permanent on his face the entire day.

The big day arrived. Valentine’s day. Jaehyun had once told you that it was a blessing to have his birthday fall on a special day. He would receive double the gifts from his admirers. He recalled his high school days where gifts were piled on top of his desk and the locker would be filled with both birthday wishes and love letters. He was beyond excited to see his new friends prepared for his birthday slash Valentine’s day party.

Joy, Johnny and Ten had already gone to the venue to set up everything, while Mark and Yuta were in charge of taking Jaehyun around the city before bringing him there.

In the meantime, you were granted to have some quality time, as said by Ten, with your boyfriend before the party.

Boyfriend.

Taeyong.

The thought of him made you squeal in happiness, feeling warm and fuzzy in your heart.

Your heart leaped when you heard the doorbell ring to your apartment, signaling your loveable boyfriend’s arrival. When you opened the door, you found him affectionately smiling at you with crinkling eyes, holding a bouquet of red roses.

You grabbed his arm, pulled him inside and closed the door. When his gaze landed on your outfit, his eyes blew up. “Are you wearing a dress?”

Your heart was beating super fast, excited to show off the rose print dress. “Yeah! Do you like it?” You did a little twirl to make the dress flow. “I know it’s cold outside but as long as I’m with you, I’ll be warm,” you said, grinning widely.

Taeyong was close to fainting from your cuteness. “It’s really beautiful. I’ve never seen you wear a dress before.”

You nodded. “Yeah I don’t really like wearing one. But I saw this and thought it’d be perfect to wear it on a special occasion. Like today for Valentine’s day. Plus you love red roses.”

He did love red roses, the ones that resembled the scar beside his right eye. And you remembering it made his heart beat erratically in his chest. He pulled you into a crushing hug, holding you close to him as he placed a kiss on your forehead that ignited your entire soul.

“Okay as much as I love your hugs, the flowers are poking me, Tae,” you laughed.

“Oh.” He let you go, holding up the bouquet for you. “It’s Valentine’s Day so I wanted to give you these.”

You took hold of the red flowers, admiring their beauty. “Thank you. They’re really beautiful. Like you.”

He coughed, getting all shy from your compliment attack. “Only because it’s Valentine’s day. If it wasn’t, do you know what I’d get you?”

You frowned and shook your head. “No. What?” Your heart soared upon seeing the sweetest smile broke onto his face.  

“Magenta lilacs.”

[vidavalor]

A ‘why Bucky stopped responding to Sam’s texts’ analysis...

This turned into a whole thing about not just the texts but the evolution of SamBucky in TFATWS so yeah, make a hot drink and get cozy if you want to read this as it’s a little on the wordy side...

So, what we know is that Bucky stopped responding to Sam’s texts ahead of TFATWS but *before* Sam decided to retire the shield. I’ve seen speculation on what event could have caused this and I think the fact that we aren’t entirely told it in so many words, plus some other clues from the show might lead us to one conclusion. Obviously, this is just what I see here and there are other ways to interpret it but some thoughts for anyone who feels like reading them... :)

The answer to why Bucky stopped responding to Sam’s texts is actually the shield, just not in the way that we think it is. Go back to Endgame and the scenes between Sam and Bucky. The amount of *feeling* there is already present and plentiful-- Bucky looks at Sam with naked love, right at him, and Sam touches Bucky so tenderly that it’s a bit heartbreaking. That little thumb swish on his shoulder at the funeral? That’s familiar and sweet and comes with intimacy born of the knowledge that Bucky is okay with him in his space. Between Sam knowing he has permission that others really don’t to touch Bucky (also add in how he’s a little jealous when Steve hugs Bucky) and between Bucky not hiding how he feels when he looks at Sam, we could speculate that there’s at least a working understanding between them happening by Endgame that they have feelings for one another. Now, hop back in time a little to see maybe what kind of understanding or what level of it they could potentially be at by Endgame...

If you go along with the idea that Sam found Bucky after The Winter Soldier and kept that a secret while he helped him to hide and that they built their whole banter-y rapport beginning then, then you also have to think that this is kind of a real slow burn romance happening. Sam is a sensitive, (semi-secretly) introverted guy who has been mourning the loss of a man who meant the world to him for years, mostly alone, atop trying to deal with his own trauma from witnessing that violent death and everything else he saw at war. He doesn’t open up easily and comes from a place of needing to seem in control of his emotions, even if he’s the first person to be there for someone else when they are struggling and is highly empathetic. Meanwhile, Bucky? 

Bucky’s a mess. His memories are coming back in fragments. He’s plagued by nightmares and PTSD from the decades he’s spent as an assassin and is still on the earlier end of his healing process. Not to mention that he can’t have much in the way of normalcy because he’s on the run and in hiding. Sam is a decent man who is also experienced, both personally and professionally, when it comes to trauma recovery and he is the last man on earth who would try to take advantage of Bucky so this relationship is a friendship at the early stages. It’s one that’s complicated by their mutual attraction that won’t stop growing but they aren’t really discussing it. They’re getting to know one another and discovering that they actually like one another, as much as they try to hide it (and joke that they don’t at all.) The mutual respect grows. 

This all continues until the plot results in Bucky not having to hide anymore and being able to get some help in gaining an edge over the Winter Soldier in Wakanda. This is especially true for Bucky because he might have been wildly attracted to Sam before this-- and a frustrating kind of attracted, a not-wanting-casual kind of attracted-- but he didn’t have any real hope in even thinking there could be a chance at this until Wakanda. He’d been afraid of not having enough control over his mind and somehow hurting Sam, even if he didn’t mean to. He’d been on the run, so not really a great life to offer the man you want to be with. By the time he gets to Wakanda, though, Bucky’s cautiously optimistic that even though everything always ends with a fight that maybe he could have some good things before the last one comes for him. Steve and Sam think they can get him a pardon and the Wakandans think they can help rid of him of being controlled by the trigger words and all of that does happen over the next few months for Bucky. For the first time in decades, he’s more fully his own person and can trust himself a bit more. He has gained more headspace and freedom and options and some calm. 

Meanwhile, Sam? The 5-6 months when Bucky was in cryofreeze in Wakanda while Shuri figured out how to help him? He doesn’t want to go there when it comes to how much he missed Bucky. He and Steve are on the run but T’Challa is an ally so they can get into Wakanda. Sam comes to visit Bucky and is overwhelmed by how grateful he is that the deprogramming worked and Bucky is finding some peace. He watches him smile and tend goats and farm and play games with the local kids when he visits and it’s odd, in a way-- kind of like their lives have flipped around. Bucky’s the one who has a place that grounds him and Sam’s the one on the run. But more unmooring for both of them now is that there isn’t the excuse of staying away from someone who might be too in the throes of mental health problems to adequately consent because Bucky is in a place where his personal agency keeps growing and he’s more edging away from victim and into survivor mode. He’s not “fine” but no one ever is, including Sam-- but the idea of the two of them is no longer as prohibitive as it was when they first met. Sam, for his part, is healing more over Riley through his developing relationship with Bucky than he wants to admit, even if it’s obviously still traumatic and painful. They’re good for one another and grow more affectionate around the snarky banter, becoming more comfortable with letting how they feel show more. 

They might get to a point of admitting that there is something between them and wanting to try for more but they’re like really, really cute about it in that they both keep trying to give one another almost too much space. Bucky knows that Sam has been through a lot and lost someone. He understands that it’s hard for him to trust and that he’s not great with casual and that, for reasons Bucky barely agrees with or understands, Sam sees him as someone he’d like to try being not casual with. Sam knows that Bucky has been through decades of trauma and that there is a really wide gap for trauma survivors between having sexual desire for someone and really feeling comfortable with the idea of having sex, let alone actually attempting that. He’s fine with going slow. Their touchiness with one another is an affirmation of all of this-- a way of saying that they’re there for each other without pressuring the other for more than they feel ready for but, at the same time, saying that they are very interested. As a result, they kind of run on this for awhile and probably don’t get much further than that because then a series of things start to get in the way of this potential romance on the cusp of these poor bastards finally getting to shag...

The first is that they reunite with Steve in Wakanda and fight Thanos for the first time which is all great but then they both get dusted right afterwards and disappear for the next five years. In a way, they’re lucky here with this because they both secretly think it’d be worse if only *one* of them had been Blipped. Would the other have found someone else? Would they still feel the same way after all that time? They’re afraid of those things and it’s another thing that shows them both how much they feel for one another. Instead, they went through the same thing and can go through the aftermath of that together as well. It’s more impactful for Sam because he’s the one with living family. He’s missed some of the early years of his nephews and he’s left Sarah on her own for five years. He leans on Bucky with the guilt of that and the two of them, in general, are starting to make some plans. Plans that involve one another. 

For the first time since they met, they’re both in a place to try their hand at a relationship with one another for real. Neither of them are in hiding or on the run. Bucky is pardoned and further along in his healing process. Sam has decided he feels safe enough and ready enough for this. They’re in love and it’s basically understood between them, even if they haven’t really said the words. They’re also in a place that is different from where we see them at the start of TFATWS and that’s because the shield hasn’t entered into their plans yet. 

In the post-battle/pre-Old Steve parts of Endgame, Sam and Bucky basically think they’re going to have different options when it comes to what they’re doing all day. They’re thinking of being together in terms of how they’re thinking they’ll both be Steve’s backup team in the field when Steve needs it. There’s vague talk of a garden because Bucky likes working outside and Sam wants Bucky to have all that calm like he had in Wakanda that he can handle. They’re talking about going to Delacroix at some point soon so Sam can visit with the family he’s been missing. Ya know, making plans like a married couple when they’re lucky if they’ve kissed yet, like the shy, snarky boys they are. Then, Steve... sorry but there’s no other way to put it this but Steve kind of f---s it all up. 

Steve tells Bucky that he’s planning to go back to the ‘40s to find Peggy and live a normal life. Bucky, drunk on hope of the secret of his own potential normal life for the first time in basically a century, turns down Steve’s offer to join him back in their past. Steve is surprised because Steve hearts the ‘40s and thinks Bucky must want a do-over of his life but Bucky reminds him quietly that he never was much of a man of his time and he always had an eye to the future. He’s interested in the prospect of living a life here in the modern world. Bucky might have also at least hinted at the idea (or just said) that maybe he also wants to stay because his own chance at love is here in 2023, not back in the 1940s. (If Steve hadn’t already picked up on this by this point.) Steve tells Bucky that he has to pass on the shield and he wants to give it to Sam. This is a massive crisis for Bucky because there’s suddenly no way that this can work out, in Bucky’s mind-- no way for him and Sam to work out, that is. So, why then does Bucky support this plan? 

Because he believes Sam is the right man to be Captain America. Because he believes in *Sam*, full-stop. He thinks Sam is the best man he’s met and the strongest. He feels this but it’s also reinforced by the fact that Steve-- Bucky’s best friend, who helped him even when he couldn’t help himself, and is a guy so good that Bucky tends to measure all men against him-- also feels this way about Sam. It’s validation for Bucky on his own feelings towards Sam and Bucky is a believer in the greater good-- and one who feels guilty for the pain he’s caused as The Winter Soldier atop that. He’s all in when it comes to supporting the idea that Sam should be the one to pick up the mantle to save the world because the world deserves Sam’s awesome goodness and will be a better place for it. As Bucky will later tell Sam in TFATWS, he and Steve weren’t thinking in terms of how Sam might feel about being handed this responsibility and Bucky acknowledges that they really didn’t think this through from all the angles necessary but it’s obvious their hearts were in a good place with it. Their intention was to honor Sam as a man worthy of something they both see as a mantle that can only be carried by men who are, well, the anti-John Walkers of the universe, and they were trying to tell Sam that they saw him as the best of men, even if they didn’t exactly win at considering it from Sam’s point of view. 

What happens to Sam and Bucky’s relationship as a result of Sam getting the shield, though, happens when Bucky considers the fact that Sam having it means that he can’t see a way that their relationship will work. It was one thing when he and Sam were making quiet plans, planning to have some calm and privacy with one another, but now Sam is going to be *Captain America*. He’s going to go from lower level celebrity that a lot of people don’t even know exists to the guy who gets coverage on Good Morning, America. Bucky isn’t completely blind to race issues, either, as he knows that Sam would be the first publicly-known Black Captain America and that would come with a different kind of scrutiny. He knows how private Sam is as a person and how hard this will be, if Sam chooses to take on the shield. Bucky thinks the world might barely-- barely-- be ready to deal with a Black Captain America but he’s not naive to the world of the media. He was by Steve’s side for most of WW2 and saw how the role of Captain America is symbolic as much as mission-based. It’s about the image of the role. Bucky thinks there is no way on earth that Sam can be Captain America *and* in a relationship with Bucky. 

The other side of the catch-22 is that if Sam decides *not* to take up the shield-- and he’s hinted to Bucky that he might not, he hasn’t decided yet-- then suddenly, Bucky is wondering if maybe he misjudged Sam. He sees Sam as a man who doesn’t back down from a fight, someone strong who defends others and stands up for what is right and to Bucky, that is what Captain America does and what the allies of Captain America do. He’s no stranger to feeling conflicted over how it is supporting a country that doesn’t value everyone equally-- Bucky is not straight and fought for an Army and a country that would have thrown him in prison for being caught being himself and still believes in trying to make that military and that country live up to the higher ideals it espouses. (Undoubtedly, something Sam values about Bucky is Bucky’s ability to comprehend feeling like an outsider. It’s a major difference from Steve, who might have not felt like he fit the ideal man of the WW2 era but whose response to that was to get himself pumped up with experimental drugs so he *could*... as opposed to Bucky, who for sure has conflict over it, probably a lot more when he was younger, but is someone who sees that the rules of society aren’t always something to try to live up to. Steve was in allies to try to prove he was as tough as guys who fit a type more valued by society. Bucky was in allies to protect Steve from himself sometimes... and other times, to get some in a flagrant f--- you to the same societal values. Sam has empathy for Steve but is partial to Bucky’s attitude towards things.) 

The ironic thing about Bucky’s take on the shield and Sam is that for *Sam*, one of the many, many reasons why he was reluctant to take up the shield was probably Bucky himself. Sam obviously has a lot of very valid reasons for not being sure about taking up the shield stemming from being a Black man in America and one who has also seen his share of darkness during war, which are looked at during TFATWS. Additionally, I think there are other reasons he hesitated-- one is that he is a very private person who doesn’t have a lot of tolerance for the more b.s. parts of what the mantle would entail and the other is that he has been steadily falling in love with another person who deserves privacy and freedoms that he’s been denied and he’s not sure he wants to try this thing with Bucky under a spotlight. They weren’t completely at a stage of having actual, involved conversations about this at that point but I definitely think it was (and still is) a concern for Sam. 

So, the point is that once Steve gives Sam the shield, Bucky begins to no longer see a path forward for him and Sam. He sees them being friends-- Steve’s mutual friends who look in on one another and who care. If Sam wants him there to back him up when he’s Captain America, Bucky would do that. He wants to keep Sam safe but Sam also has Torres and the Air Force and Bucky really... is not looking forward to the rest of his life going from this hopeful place of potential mutual love and adventures in the modern world to... the rest of his life mooning after another Captain America whose role in the world keeps him from loving him. Bucky, whose experience with close relationships with men and with Captain America is Steve Rogers, thinks that this is going to end just like that and it’s the lesser explored aspect of trauma for him. Everyone is all over his Winter Soldier issues in his world, fewer people notice that he’s also a man with a lot of love to give who has not really ever had someone look at him like they really notice that... ya know, until Sam. Until the man he’s just lost to the shield which, coincidentally, is the closest thing Bucky still has left that feels like family and home. Because yeesh, the world is pretty cruel to this guy sometimes...

So, they’ve split up for a bit under the guise of working out their different things to get their new lives as non-fugitives going. Bucky has to go to government-dated therapy and heads to Brooklyn in an effort to feel like he’s got some ground under his feet by going to a place he once called home. Sam goes to Delacroix to see Sarah and the boys. They’re both floundering around a bit without the other, making progress in some ways and not at all in others. Sam is in love and wants to give Bucky whatever space he needs to feel in control of himself and get the help he needs and he’s happy that he is-- they’re friends before anything else-- so he still messages him but the messages begin to change a little, due to both of them. Maybe calling a lot turns into texts and maybe the texts get a little less frequent as Bucky responds a little less. 

All of this is self-fulfilling prophecy: Bucky is trying to push Sam away because he doesn’t think he can have Sam and he’s got enough suffering going on to deal with, as far as he’s concerned. He’s still strong enough that he’s trying to live a life even without Sam or to figure out what that would look like-- what he needs to do to get to that point, even if he’s running in place with it a little. He even tries to get over Sam a bit, dips his toes into the online dating pool. (He never says to Leah that he actually went out on any dates, just that he seemed to get caught up at the browsing stage. He could have but it’s pretty clear that he didn’t get anywhere of any real note with them.) He can’t help but compare all of them to Sam and he really doesn’t want (even if he thinks he might want for a bit) something casual and ultimately meaningless. He’s probably considering the idea of sleeping with someone just to sleep with someone, which is a fairly common thing for a lot of people who have been victims of sexual violence-- and the show basically says this in the Shelby scene-- to try. Ultimately, though, Bucky seems to have bailed at the idea because what he really wants is the trust and intimacy he has built with Sam. 

Bucky eventually stops responding to Sam’s texts entirely because he doesn’t know how to handle them. Sam is consistently kind towards him and respectful of the fact that he needs space and it’s driving Bucky mad-- all this sweetness from this man he can’t have and isn’t sure he deserves anyway. Then, he sees Sam retire the shield and it feels like an ending, maybe one that Bucky pushed into being unwillingly by not responding to the texts and so not knowing where Sam was with his decisions and not being there to help him. Bucky isn’t meaning to be self-involved so much as he’s so caught up in his trauma and trying to get through it that he sometimes can’t see past the pain he’s in enough to see Sam’s own. Sam, for his part, sometimes fails to consider just how afraid Bucky is of letting himself trust someone again and at the idea of being happy and just assumes space and time will be enough but they aren’t. 

This is also why they fall back into a rhythm pretty easily when they meet up again in Episode 2. While it probably hurt that Bucky stopped responding to his texts, Sam isn’t seeing it as a deal breaker. He’s back flirting with Bucky from the get-go and Bucky is following him to protect him. John Walker is an excuse that they have now-- a Captain America mutual problem to solve that can replace the ‘who are we now without Steve here and with this shield issue’ problems between them. The way they touch one another and seek to protect one another-- and show off for one another a bit-- is reassurance. Bucky wants to prove he’ll be there for Sam after not answering the texts so he jumps out of a plane to show he’s committed to the mission-- and to Sam-- by showing he’s working on getting over his fears and *can* get over some of them or at least deal with them. Sam is more important than his fear of heights. Bucky is more important to Sam than Sam’s fear of another Riley moment and as Riley moment of losing a partner mixes with Bucky’s trauma of the train car, Sam then steps up and saves Bucky from the side of the truck-- proving he can try to get over his own trauma and also be there for Bucky in return. 

And, in the midst of it, is all the sexual tension between these two guys who have wanted to go to bed together for years now but stupid battles and trauma and Captain Americas kept getting in the way. Sam admits he likes Bucky’s stealthy cat moves and is floored and encouraged when Bucky flirts back. They’re all over one another in the grass-- Bucky sure to land so that he’s between Sam’s legs and Sam just grabbing his jacket lapels to keep him close. It’s a blatant invitation for Bucky to top him anytime, a little tongue-in-cheek, barely hidden under their whole begrudging one another’s presence vibe as even when Bucky grumbles and Sam tosses him off (after having pulled him closer by his jacket), they both know the truth under it. Sam reaches over to touch Bucky’s shoulder and Bucky is dazed from the pleasure of being so close to Sam, who not only just saved him and pulled him to him without a thought but who did so *at the expense of the mission*. Sam continuously proves throughout TFATWS that Bucky is of a higher priority to him than the actual mission is. He almost blows their undercover operation in Madripoor by coming close to breaking his cover to make sure that Bucky was okay and he lets the Flag Smashers escape when he saves Bucky from the truck. He very much wants Bucky to notice that this is how he feels-- that whether or not he winds up trying to take the shield back from Walker, whether or not he winds up Captain America, how he feels about Bucky isn’t dependent upon their roles as Steve’s mutual friends-- that they themselves have something independent of that and Sam wants as much of it as Bucky wants to take. 

The whole cyborg wheels turning scene on the walk after the field is Sam wanting to talk more about it, even in the midst of the mission. Bucky’s quiet response of “it’s processing” when asked by a (nervous so teasing) Sam what his mind is thinking is about them, about what Sam confessed without words by saving Bucky from the truck. Bucky is telling Sam he understands what Sam is saying and is overwhelmed and Sam is already starting to let him mull it over when Walker and Lemar pull up in the truck and it has to be tabled discussion for awhile.

What is holding Bucky back, even if he is still flirting, still protective of Sam, is that he’s still never had to fully test himself in terms of getting over his trauma enough to really pursue something new in his life. He was about to in Endgame-- he felt ready to try to take this shot with Sam-- but that was before the shield and Steve’s plan entered the picture. Alone in New York to do nothing but try to deal with his past, he was having trouble seeing a future that looked appealing and regressed pretty badly in his trauma recovery to a point of lots of nightmares and not really great self-care. When he reconnects with Sam in Ep 2 and sees that he hasn’t really been successful in pushing Sam away-- that Sam cares that much, is interested that much-- it gives Bucky a boost to try to see if maybe he can find a way forward. Madripoor is the big test he gives himself.

In Madripoor, Bucky gets something very important for his recovery, which is a situation that allows him to own his own experiences. This is actually along the same lines of his attempts at online dating earlier in the series, even though it looks to be totally different-- the idea is that Bucky needs to prove to himself, in essence, that he’s in control of himself and have experiences where he’s in control of what happens. When Bucky is forced to play The Winter Soldier it’s not particularly fun for him and he’s bothered by it a lot-- but he emerges from it because he was able to do it. He was in control of himself throughout it. Sam being there absolutely helped, even if part of Bucky doesn’t want him to be because there’s a part of him that’s still ashamed of who he had become, even if he’s slowly accepting that it wasn’t really entirely his fault. (The amends thing shows he still thinks it is but not entirely & how he ultimately handles it shows he’s getting better at accepting he’s not to blame.) 

Madripoor also brings about another challenge in the Selby scene, when Zemo makes it clear that The Winter Soldier was used for more than missions in the past and this happens in front of Sam. I actually don’t think that this was the first time Sam had this thought-- I saw him looking away from Bucky playing that role undercover as not just because he was pained at the reminder of this but because he wanted to try to give Bucky some space with it, some privacy, because this was another violation and Sam didn’t want to make it worse. Sam absolutely knows that Bucky faced different kinds of violence when he was tortured, even if it could go either way as to whether or not they’ve ever really talked much about it. Sam though continually keeps trying to show Bucky that underscoring their sexual tension there is Sam trying to convey that not only does he want to take things slow, he has no qualms with the idea of Bucky having whatever sense of control he needs to feel comfortable. 

Telling Bucky he likes the whole “White Panther” vibe is a way of telling Bucky that he can see *him* there, even when he’s doing things that Sam had previously seen him do as The Winter Soldier-- it’s showing he knows the difference and he thinks Bucky looks plenty hot being all stealthy as himself. Later, in the grass, Sam just as easily could have used his momentum to roll them just a little more and landed on top of Bucky in the grass but he didn’t-- he let Bucky wind up on top and just pulled him closer, saying without saying that he’s not only fine with this in bed because he gets that Bucky needs this but because he just straight up *likes* this. He wants the White Wolf to come at him a bit and he’s showing Bucky that in the same moments that he’s also just scooped Bucky up from a flashback to one of the worst moments of his life and took him safely to a peaceful field of flowers like... he’s offering up some romance here, ya know? It’s heart eyes as a series of actions.

Then, there’s the therapy scene. Both of them are breaking a little with patience, snapping a bit, feeling brittle and like the other one isn’t totally seeing them. *Even in the midst of that*, they’re also still sending out the same messages. The way they look at one another before they let the soul gazing de-evolve into a staring contest to cover up the real emotion there. The way that they both scoot closer in the chairs without any real direction and then Bucky thinks he’s already gotten a bit scandalously close with the bumping knees, is nervous about pushing it any further and especially in front of the therapist he’s not entirely honest about anything with and who works for the government and there’s Sam again with his ‘you know what? I don’t even care about any of this except for you’ attitude. It’s Sam who takes Bucky’s chair and pulls him over closer and slips his thigh between Bucky’s legs and when Bucky splutters in surprise that it’s “a little close”, Sam’s patience is a little thin and he does snap “well, that’s what you wanted, isn’t it?” because he’s been trying. really. hard. to tell Bucky. that he just wants to be with him. regardless of all the other captain america or battling big threes or whatever nonsense the world is throwing at them now. Maybe the most telling part here is how he lets his fingers run lightly over Bucky’s thigh during this. It’s both very tender/sweet and very sexy at once-- a message that says okay, hey, maybe you didn’t totally go for the field or maybe it’s not all you want. Maybe sometimes you want me to be the one more in control and you’re terrified of that, understandably. Well, here’s how it’d be: see this whole thigh thing? It’s a nod towards basically mutually-controlled sex. It’s a way of saying what I also like, what I also want, if you want it, too, is to just be with you as we are-- a couple of pretty equally matched guys just having fun, no real power games, no need to define who’s topping or bottoming or any of this. That brush of Bucky’s thigh? It’s a reminder. It’s saying whatever you want, however you want it, this is how you’re going to get treated by me: not like you’re fragile but like you’re *precious*. It’s saying I don’t want to hurt you, I want to love you but you have to trust me enough to let me and I don’t know what else to do to prove that to you. 

Maybe the sweetest part is outside after the session, when Sam goes back to their default barbing and quips that he feels better when he clearly does not and Bucky, devastated that he is making this hard for Sam and didn’t see how much he was hurting him, just says “I feel awful”. It’s basically an apology and it’s also saying that he’s getting the messages that Sam has been putting out. 

So, it’s something that by the time Bucky gets through a series of challenges to himself in Madripoor-- playing the Winter Soldier and having his history of being raped brought up in front of Sam-- he gets through the biggest one yet, courtesy of John Walker, when he is electrocuted. Bucky had been programmed to respond and echoes of that would have still been happening to him when he woke up. We can see actually the flashbacks almost happening in front of his eyes when he gives Sam the shield at the end of the scene. He fought it all, every step of the way, for Sam. When he woke up, he pushed through memories of every painful moment of it from before and the pain of the electrocution he was really feeling in that moment to get up and remember where he was, to stay in the moment and present through a PTSD flashback and save Sam’s life in the process. He leaves the shield with Sam and goes outside without a word but Sam sees it all on his face-- he knows just how much that took out of Bucky and that Bucky forced himself to get through it not just for his own healing process but to protect Sam. It’s an answer, one Bucky has been giving all along, to Sam’s silent questions. Every time Bucky protects him, he is saying to Sam that he wants to be with him and wants to work towards figuring that out. 

Bucky still isn’t over the flashback by the time he gets to the scene with Sam and Torres and Torres-- a nice, normal, sweet guy with a crush on Sam whom Bucky privately thinks would be a better match for Sam and so is jealous of him-- triggers some annoyance just with his presence there. He can’t talk to Sam alone with Torres there. There’s still work to be done. He’s got to clean up the Zemo mess. By the time he is not killing Zemo in Slovakia-- exhibiting control over himself, making decisions about how he will react that he can be proud of, all in the face of a past torturer and abuser of his-- Bucky is at a new stage of free. He feels ready or almost ready, anyway. He wants to show Sam that he wants to try. Maybe this isn’t all over yet after all, no matter what Sam decides to do about the shield, even if Bucky thinks he ultimately will decide to take it up. 

It’s clear that by this point, Bucky is going to support whatever Sam chooses to do about it but what’s also equally clear is that Bucky is hearing Sam when Sam has been sending messages that he wants to be with Bucky no matter what happens with the shield. He sees them before anything else and no one has ever loved Bucky this much and for once, he’s in love with someone who can love him back and does love him back. He’s free from the worst of his trauma, free from the trigger words, free from the sense that his past-- hydra, steve, any and all of it-- have to define him going forward. He’s free and ready and in love and decides to go to Delacroix and show Sam that he has noticed a thing or two about what *Sam* might need as well. 

Maybe Sam needs a man who is strong, as strong as Bucky is-- physically and emotionally-- who can be there to listen or even just be silently companionable with him. Maybe Sam’s been alone for a long time and isn’t used to having someone close enough to notice or care about or be able to help with his problems. Maybe Sam is the kind who gets overwhelmed trying to help everyone around him and gets anxious about failing or when he fails and needs someone there to help get him over the last steps of it. Maybe he’s a good surrogate dad but it overwhelms him at times and he needs someone else to support him and help care for the boys. Maybe he doesn’t always hear what Sarah is trying to tell him or put her in the driver’s seat with decisions so it helps that Bucky can and does. 

Maybe it’s been a long time since someone romanced Sam Wilson and maybe they never got it right or as right as it could be and maybe it just so happens that Bucky Barnes knows a thing or two about romancing. Maybe no one’s ever charmed his friends and family to win him over or showed up unannounced with an extravagant and intimate gift (and note that it’s really a leap from the Bucky that can’t bear to look at a shirtless Sam because he’s so attracted to him in Madripoor to showing up with a custom-made super suit)... especially not one he needed right in the moment, that showed how he was seen by someone who loved him, just when Sam needed to see himself that way, too. Maybe no one’s ever liked Sam’s hometown as much as he has, maybe Sam has never felt more at home than when Bucky is now there, too, saying with every action and look that he loves him-- something else that maybe Sam’s never had like this before. Bucky knows he’s not the only one who can get nervous. He sends out some messages of his own. His hands keep going to Sam’s waist. It’s flirty with the broken pipe but it’s also intimate inside the boat in the morning scene-- Bucky almost does it automatically and Sam sees it, sees his hands move as he’s looking down at the moment when Bucky pulls back and moves out of Sam’s space. He lets Sam see that, even if he doesn’t actually do it as they aren’t quite there yet. He is intentionally showing Sam that Sam isn’t the only one who notices needs and that Bucky sees in Sam a want for that quiet intimacy. He sees how badly Sam needs to be held close and just loved into oblivion and Bucky is happy to oblige. It makes Sam nervous, being that seen, but he also really likes it. He has his own fears the way that Bucky does but they dance towards one another. There’s a dance to these things, as Bucky says, and he and Sam have been engaged in that dance their whole story and especially in TFATWS. 

By the time we get to melting ice cream cake and a stage of public hugging, we’re seeing them having finally gotten to a place where they can allow themselves to be with one another and that’s really the implications of the end scene. It could go either way as to whether or not they actually have sex after Sam’s first night as Captain America in New York or whether it’s after the last scene in the finale but the way they look at one another on the docks before they walk off together is with an indication that they’re on the same page now and they’re becoming physically more intimate. Bucky taps Sam’s shoulder when he approaches and Sam is there, still with the party lingering in the background, needing a moment of quiet but Bucky is welcome in that quiet and knows it. Sam likes him checking up on him. The shoulder tap is a nod towards their multitude of shoulder touches before and Sam turns, their expressions acknowledge their history of doing that to show affection and when they pull away to leave, Sam’s returning touch moves from Bucky’s shoulder-- further up to start with and then over more-- to the back of his neck, a traditionally much more intimate touch and more overtly in line with people who are sleeping together (or interested in doing so) than not. It’s not the first time, either, as Bucky seems comfortable with it and they walk off together as the sun sets, indicating that they’re going to spend the night together. Sam’s expression when they leave the dock is a happy kind of smug, like he knows he’s about to have some serious fun and not from playing penuckle. Bucky’s smile when there with him at the docks is happy and relaxed and comfortable. Put together, they’ve either started sleeping together or are about to and feel good about it. The nervousness they had around one another has evaporated. Consider Sam on the boat when Bucky gets close to holding his hips to Sam on the docks at the end of Episode 6-- it’s a higher degree of confidence in his ability to handle being this close to someone he cares so much about. The same is true for Bucky. 

But, yeah, 800 paragraphs later... Bucky stopped answering Sam’s texts for, among other reasons, out of pain over what he felt was the shield-induced reasons they couldn’t try any longer to be together and couldn’t stand not being able to be around him so he cut off communication to try to move on. Also? For what it’s worth? Had there been a specific incident that triggered Bucky to stop texting Sam, they could have shown us that flashback if it wasn’t gayer than gay. We got a Wakanda flashback. They could have shown us the moment Sam and Bucky stopped talking. They didn’t. So it was for romance-related reasons. 

[ifeelallwrite]

Let’s talk about Hospital Playlist. (KDRAMA REVIEW)

note: does contain spoilers

When people ask me what is my favorite Korean drama of all time, with no doubt, IT’S HOSPITAL PLAYLIST. This drama has the comic relief, the emotional scenes, realistic characters-just to name a few. No toxic relationships and petty revenge fights. Nothing else will stop me for saying that this is the ultimate feel good drama.

SYNOPSIS: The drama shows insights into the daily lives of doctors and nurses working at Yulje Medical Hospital. It focuses on 5 doctors who have been friends since medical school, who also play together as a band.

This drama encompasses so many elements and characters so bear with me yo this might be real long 

Hospital Playlist is produced/written by the Shin-Lee PD and writer pairing, whose previous works were the renowned Reply trilogy and Prison Playbook (which are *chef’s kiss*) I really like that all their dramas really highlight humanism, and puts emphasis on creating a heartwarming and realistic series. There isn’t always a major conflict to be resolved, but instead it showcases how different people-in this case mostly those in the medical field-go on about their daily lives.  I also liked their reasoning to produce a medical drama which was that hospitals were where the most dramatic moments occurred, for example during births, deaths or sickness. And since we are still in the Covid-19 pandemic, it ties in greatly to be paying homage to all the medical personnel saving lives. Hence, props to those who were involved in this meaningful masterpiece <3

The drama is not the usual 16 episodes, but has 12 episodes for each season (SEASON 2 IS COMING SOON YAAS) Good thing is I felt that they were still able to weave a dynamic storyline in the first season even with lesser episodes. The writing was just top-notch with the witty humor bits. Additionally, the music is AMAZING. I love the concept of the main characters being a band and playing different songs every episode too.

Okay, now onto the characters. I thought that every character in this drama was well rounded. Starting of with the main five characters, also known as The 99ers, whose distinctive personalities and natural chemistry make all of them extremely likeable. All main characters are professors of different specialties, and I find the male OB-GYN (Seokhyeong) and female neurosurgeon (Songhwa) very refreshing. Also, I like Shin-Lee dramas always have characters that might be realistic yet hardly seen in other dramas or films. For example, Professor Ahn Jeongwon. Despite being a chaebol (inheritor/heir), he isn’t depicted as a spoilt brat or a cold character, instead as a warm Pediatric doctor who uses his wealth to secretly support patients in need. However it makes him stingy to his friends LOL

To be honest, I really thought I was gonna dislike Junwan due to his cold and tsundere nature. I pretty much believed that he was going to be the party pooper type of the bunch, but with the writer being a master of character development, he turned out to be really sincere and hilarious at times. Same for Ikjun, who apart from his enthusiastic and happy go lucky exterior, cares the most about the people around him. Although Seokhyeong seemed detached and introverted, he shows a emotional side to his friends as well as his mother. Songhwa is literally a girlboss though haha she’s smart, capable and gets along with everyone well. And she’s the most sane out of the bunch. 

With all the main characters, we have the relationships. Junwan is the first to date seriously with Iksun (the dog or Micky? jkjk) who is Ikjun’s sister. When it first happened I was like not again Jung Kyung Ho (bc he dated his best friend’s sis in prison playbook too LMAO) I think their relationship was realistic and open. It also showed a more sensitive side to Junwan who would do anything for her. I especially liked how he said he didn’t need access to her phone because he trusted her. Yet as all couples do, they have their fair share of ups and downs. Like conflicts on getting married and a long distance relationship as Iksun moves overseas for graduate studies. I don’t really know how to take the ambiguous ending for these two, as Junwan receives the returned box (that has the ring he sent) I really hope nothing bad happens to these two though.

I’m sure we all love Wintergarden couple though, tbh they’re kinda my OTP at the moment 🤣 It was pretty much a ‘will they won’t they’ relationship with a relatively slow build. I think Gyeoul turned out to be one of my favourite characters. Shin Hyun Been did a good job at portraying her as a straightforward but innocent Resident, who is pretty much openly crushing on Jeongwon. The scenes they had together were adorably awkward (and the scene where he gives her chocopies omg) And when Jeongwon battles his inner conflict to become a priest, the final decision where they kiss was beautifully shot, with the actors both showcasing their emotions extremely well. 

Then we have Chihong who pursues Songhwa, his professor. Midway through the drama, it is also shown that Ikjun and Songhwa might have had romantic feelings for each other. Songhwa ends up rejecting Chihong’s confession. In my opinion, Chihong was quite a interesting character but I didn’t really like him at the end. (I like the actor though) He did a real jerk move during drinking games, insisting on Ikjun to confess his feelings towards her even though he is already trying not to put Songhwa in an awkward spot. Although his character did end up making a cool exit and when I thought about his incredible story of soldier to doctor, I kinda regret disliking him that much. As for IkSong, In the final episode Ikjun confesses to her one last time, and we are left waiting for Songhwa’s reply. As much as I love this pairing, I don’t think that the ship will sail or maybe not as quickly as we think. I believe Songhwa would meticulously consider the sacrifices to their friendship or other aspects and might not be able to bring herself to it, but I hope it’s otherwise. 

Lastly not forgetting Seokhyeong and Minha, another Professor+resident pairing. This one’s a bit ambiguous though, mainly because there hasn’t been much romantic development. To me, the most impactful scene came from Minha who had been irritated by continuous night shifts and was on the verge of a breakdown. She ended up remarkably saving a patient, starting off surgery on her own for the first time. Oh man Minha was such a lovable character, I remember feeling so bad for her but extremely proud of her for her accomplishment. Although Seokhyeong seemed a bit aloof and distant (which was intentional bc he’s an introvert) I think the backstory and all the hardships he faced with his family really made me feel for him. I hate to break it to you, but I’m not so sure if the ship will sail because of the phone call from his ex-wife and Minha’s somewhat rejected confession. But who knows, they might pull off a twist 👀

Apart from all these characters, there are more characters HHAHAH However, I think this is the killing point of ShinLee dramas. Unlike typical dramas which usually focuses on a main character and 2-3 side characters, they like to cast a diverse range of actors (especially those from theatre/musicals and lesser known drama/movie actors) while actually give their characters personality or a reason to be there. I’ve seen many dramas where extras or side characters were kind of irrelevant thus making me feel that they weren’t needed to build the storyline, yet ShinLee dramas hit different y’all. Every role, no matter how small, holds significance to the drama. It really seemed like a collaborative work that shows off every actors skills (and not forgetting staffs) and teamwork.

Anyways because there are way too many characters and too many scenes for me to mention them all, I’ll just talk about some honourable mentions heheh

1. Sunbin and Seokmin confession scene (ahh so cute)

I kinda sensed that they liked each other at the start but I didn’t know Seokmin would ask her out on a date at the end. Even though it’s kinda awkward that they are dating and working with each other though (both are in the same department) but hey the confession was cute and awkward and just warm and fuzzy 🥰

2. MAMA ROSA IS THE QUEENN

I think we all (would) love Mama Rosa because she’s a real one ☝️ (probably the coolest mother ever) She’s feisty, hilarious and kind to others. Plus her friendship with Ju Jong Su was just adorable and super wholesome. The scenes where they were supporting one another through tough times and hanging out with each other when they felt lonely always put a smile on my face. Oh and how Mama Rosa treated Gyeoul was extremely sweet. (as well as Seokhyeong’s mother) Despite her tough exterior, she’s a likeable character for being a strong but caring woman.

3. Just Do Jae Hak

I seriously love this guy so muchhh omg he’s so funny

Do Jae Hak has a funny amd clumsy personality, though it’s clear he’s been through a lot and is strong willed person. From admitting his indecisiveness to counselling Jun Wan on his love issues, there’s literally nothing to hate about him.

4. Uju and his dadd

The father and son chemistry between these two is so good omg. The scenes with these two are so adorable and heartwarming (not to mention hilarious) It’s amazing to see how Ikjun cares so much for Uju despite his hectic workdays while going through infidelity issues with his ex-wife. Uju is matured for his age and shows his love and appreciation for his dad too, making their interaction a great portrayal of a healthy family relationship💞

5. the food stealing the show🥘

Who doesn’t love food and when a show has great food scenes? Some of the best scenes are definitely when the 99s gather to eat. It really showcases each character’s personality with the tiniest details as well as highlight warm delicious meals. Just don’t watch this when you’re hungry at 2am in the morning guys you’ll be drooling all over your screens HAHAHA

Of course there are way more aspects, like Hongdo and Yoonbok, Ikjun and Iksun’s pigeon jokes and raps, or Jeongwon drunk crying in the chicken shop with his brother (who was his coach in Reply 1994 when he played Chilbong LOL)

Most importantly, I think it is the themes and messages that you get from the drama that really create such a lasting impression. Not only does it hit you in the feels with the hardships of hospital patients, or the hardworking doctors+nurses who are working long shifts saving lives, it also tackles topics of friendships through the possibilities of platonic and friends-to-lovers relationships. However I think the biggest lesson for me came from Seokhyeong, who learns to live his life doing what he want, with the people he treasures. Although the drama might seem slow at times (mainly because there isn’t really a main plot line/conflict occurring), but this drama would still bring you on a journey where you would laugh, cry and finish the series, begging for season 2 ✌🏻

[leviackermanscleaningbuddy]

BTS DRABBLE-Jeon Jungkook

You never expected to see him again-let alone date him-but here you are, five years after first meeting him, and now you’re pretty sure you’re in love with Jeon Jungkook. He’s always been sweet, and clever, and somewhat quiet, and he’s definitely always been this good looking, however, there’s something different about him now-and it’s not that he’s really into Tiktok challenges and speaks all the millennial slang fluently. No, it’s something you can’t quite put your finger on. Something that makes you more intrigued in Jeon Jungkook than ever before. The same something that seems to have him staring at you intently whenever he thinks you’re not looking, as if he’s just waiting to kiss you- or more accurately, to taste you. 

Tags: BTS, Bangtan Boys, Bangtan Seonyendan, Bulletproof Boy Scouts, Beyond the Scene, BTS Drabble, Fluff, Jeon Jungkook, BTS!Vampires, Bangtan!Vampires, Vampire AU, Vampire Jungkook, Jungkook, Jungkook x you, Jungkook x reader, 

Genre: Fluff

Title: Theories of a Vampire

“Do you want a sip of this? It’s really good.” You ask your boyfriend as you take another sip of your iced mocha latte, tilting your head in his direction, offering him a mischievous smile as you shove the drink toward him. 

“Ah, no. I’m good.” Jungkook hurries to say, and his tongue slides out to wet his lips, as he glances away from you and stuffs his hands into his hoodie pocket. “I’m not thirsty.” 

“Suit yourself.” You shrug and take another gulp of the drink, sliding your hand into his-icy fingers cold against his own which are long and warm in your grasp-as you continue to walk through the park. 

It’s a pretty day. Warm, the air losing a bit of its chill, and you’re glad you had agreed to skip the last half of work to spend it with Jungkook. 

Speaking of.

Glancing over at your boyfriend once more, his brow furrowed as if he’s lost in deep thought, you nudge his side, and when he finally focuses back on you, you raise a brow at him curiously. “You okay? What are you thinking so hard about?” 

“Nothing.” He shrugs off your question and reaches up to scratch at the back of his neck with his free hand, a nervous tic he always did, and had done since you had first met him in your biology class freshman year of college. 

You pull him to a stop, and shoot him a stern look, as you toss your now empty cup into a nearby trash can. “Jeon Jungkook. You’re worried about something. Tell me what.” 

“I’m not worried per say-” Jungkook starts to protest, and at your fierce expression, backtracks slightly, letting out a defeated sigh as he glances up at the filtered sunlight streaming down on the two of you. “Okay, fine. It’s a big deal for the hyungs to invite you to eat with us, and I’m just nervous okay?” 

You arch a brow at him, and reach out for his free hand, taking both in your own, as you pull him toward you, and lean up to press a quick kiss to the end of his nose. “Why? You think they won’t like me? Come on, Kookie, what’s not to like?” You tease gently, fingers stroking across the skin that covers the backs of his knuckles as you wait for his reply. 

“Of course they’ll like you.” Jungkook blurts out, and he screws his eyes shut momentarily, wrinkling his nose in the adorable way he does when he’s agitated, the way that makes him look like a bunny. He opens his eyes once more, and looks down at you, before he sighs and admits quietly, “I’m not worried about you. I’m worried about me.” 

His statement is odd, but you don’t question it. At least not out loud. 

Because Jungkook has changed a bit since you first met him-changed a lot actually. 

When the two of you had met that fateful day in biology class, becoming lab partners first, and then friends later, Jungkook had been introverted, but polite and sweet and someone you wanted to befriend. He had stuttered his words when he was nervous or excited and had had the biggest, brown, doe eyes you had ever seen. 

And now-years later-after losing contact and reconnecting and discovering that there might be some sort of truth to the bullshit that is best friends to lovers tropes-Jungkook was not the same. 

He was still sweet and quiet and thought before he spoke, and he still stuttered when he got excited, but he wasn’t the same boy you had met all those years ago. 

No, something was different about Jeon Jungkook-he was heavier, a little more serious, and definitely more responsible than before-and you attributed most of those changed personality traits to simply maturity and growth. 

However. 

There was something about Jungkook-the new Jungkook-that had you constantly fighting the urge to be with him constantly-like a moth drawn to a flame. The way he looked at you when he thought you weren’t watching-those big, doe brown eyes large and dark with blown pupils and some sort of emotion that made your stomach warm pleasantly with desire-it was dangerous. 

And you were helpless in the face of whatever it was. Whoever he was. 

You pull yourself back to the present, only to find said subject of your deep thoughts watching you in the way you had just been imagining, and you have to look away, look at something else, before those endless eyes swallow you whole and you lose yourself completely. 

You clear your throat, and tug at his hand, resuming your walk through the park. “Kookie, you live with them. They’re your roommates. I’m sure they won’t judge you if you act a little stupid around your girlfriend.” 

“Wait. I act stupid around you?” Jungkook jogs to match your pace, and you hear the offense in his voice, as you tuck your emerging smile back behind the barrier of your lips and turn to face him, walking backwards, as you force down a giggle at the affronted look he gives you. 

Damn. He’s so cute. 

“Only sometimes.” You quip back, and as he opens his mouth to protest once more, you reach out and tap the end of his nose with your fingertip, effectively shutting him up, as you let out a laugh and continue walking, swinging your joined hands between you.

*******

The first thing you think as Jungkook pulls you up the sidewalk toward his apartment later that night is-Holy shit, what do these guys do for work? 

Because this is not a typical, six guys living together out of college, run down, bad neighborhood housing unit. 

No, this is a penthouse, in a gated community, and you’re fairly certain there’s the shimmer of a pool out back beneath the moonlight. 

The second coherent thought you have-as Jungkook leads you inside, and you’re greeted by his six male roommates is-Holy shit, how are they all so hot?

And you’re pretty sure your mouth is gaping open as each of them greet you and introduce themselves in turn, before escorting you both to the dining room-an actual old timey dining room-where dinner waits. 

And now, here you are, sitting at the long table with Jungkook on your right and one of the boys on your left-the one who seems to be just the right mix of extremely handsome and mischievous, Taehyung?-raising a bite of the opening course of soup to your lips. 

Damn. It’s delicious. 

Your eyes go wide, and the man across from you-the blonde one, tall and looking like a movie star, Seokjin?-offers you the hint of a smile, as he arches a brow in your direction and asks, “Enjoying the food, (Y/N)?” 

“Immensely.” You say, and you can’t stop yourself from taking another bite. 

Seokjin chuckles, the sound pleasant and soothing, and then bows his head slightly in your direction, and you can’t help but notice how small the spoon looks in his large fingers. “That’s a compliment then, so I should thank you.” 

“You made this?” You blurt out before you can stop yourself, and a few of the other boys stop mid quiet conversations to glance over at you with amused expressions on their beautiful faces. 

You blush, but luckily, Jungkook comes to your rescue, his hand finding yours beneath the table, as he leans over and says proudly, “Jin-hyung is one of the best cooks around. He can make anything taste great.” 

“I believe that.” You nod, already hungrily diving back into the delicious bowl of soup before you without a second thought, missing the look of fond amusement that crosses Jungkook’s dark eyes as he watches you. 

Also missing to note-perhaps more important-that your bowl of soup is the only one that seems to be lessening in contents. 

*****

Later, you are sitting beside Jungkook on one of the couches in the den, legs crossed beneath you, as you sip some sweet, candied cocktail Seokjin had made you all, and as the alcohol warms your veins, and the men around you chatter and laugh quietly amongst themselves, you feel slightly more comfortable than you had at the beginning of the night. 

“So.” You glance over at your boyfriend, as his arm comes to rest on the couch behind you, and he eyes you over the cocktail glass still held to your lips. “What do you think?” 

“What do I think?” You repeat back, lowering the glass, and your voice, as you scoot into his side, and lean your head on his shoulder, surveying the room for a moment before answering. Dammit. They’re all still too handsome for your liking. You’d thought a few drinks would tone down their good looks just a little. “What do I think?” You parrot once more, and jab Jungkook in the side, as he yelps and winces beside you. “I think you should have warned me that all your roommates are just as smoking as you, Jeon Jungkook.” 

You grin at him, ready to make a teasing jab about how they may be even more handsome than him, when the two of you are interrupted by Taehyung plopping down on the couch beside Jungkook, jostling you both. 

“Come on, Kookie.” The older man practically whines, throwing his own arm around the younger boy’s shoulders, as he leans around his broad form and flashes you a charming smile. “You can’t hog all of (Y/N)’s time. You get to bask in her beauty all day every day. Let some of us have a turn.” 

You bite back a grin, because you’ve met men like Kim Taehyung before. They are irresistibly charming, and smooth, and all together too incredibly hot to exist, yet you know they mean no harm with their slick words and damning good looks. 

“Ask away, Hyung.” Jungkook sighs between the two of you, and leans his head back on the couch in a gesture of defeat as he motions to Taehyung. “I know you’re going to question her anyway. Get it over with.” 

“Yah. That’s a good boy.” Taehyung slaps Jungkook’s shoulder, and the sound is solid, and you don’t miss the way Jungkook winces under the powerful looking show of brotherhood as Taehyung leans out once more to make eye contact with you. “So, (Y/N).” 

“Yes, Taehyung?” You shoot back, not intimidated by his presence or confidence now that you’ve had a few drinks in your system. 

Taehyung grins, and you note a slight hint of approval in his dark eyes, before he curbs his expression and steeples long fingers before plush lips. “How’d you and Kookie here meet?” 

“College.” You say simply, shrugging, as you set your empty cocktail glass to the side, and glance at Jungkook, whose dark eyes are full of dread, as if he’s waiting for his hyung to ask something ridiculous and embarrass both of you. “Freshman year.” 

“And you’re just now together?” Taehyung asks with shock in his deep tone, eyes widening slightly as he glances between the two of you, as if he can’t believe it took you so long to realize you were interested in each other. 

“Well, yeah.” Jungkook shrugs now, a blush darkening his cheeks, and he bites his lip in that way you love, though right now, it’s less cute and more worried, as he chews his bottom lip between his teeth. “We lost touch for awhile.” 

One of the other men-the smaller, petite one, who looks too pretty to be real, Jimin?-appears behind Taehyung and perches himself on the arm of the couch, listening in on your conversation with a cute, delicate tilt of his head that sends his dangling silver earrings tinkling in a fairylike way. 

Taehyung snorts in amusement at Jungkook’s words. “So what you mean to say is you were too much of a dense idiot to notice her sooner.” 

Jungkook straightens beside you and glares at the older man, and suddenly, you’re slightly worried he might deck him, but luckily, Jimin jumps into the conversation just in time. 

“Tae.” He slaps the man’s shoulder, and Taehyung glances back at him, as Jimin’s features contort into a look of disapproval. “Don’t tease Kookie.” 

“Fine.” Taehyung sighs, and you are surprised how easy it was for Jimin to put him in his place, considering Taehyung is probably three inches taller and at least ten pounds heavier than the fairyesque man sitting on the arm of the couch. 

Jimin offers you a smile, and you don’t miss the way his eyes crease with the expression, as he says in a soft, lilting tone, “It’s nice to meet you, (Y/N). We’ve heard a lot.” 

Jungkook blushes once more beside you, and you laugh at his obvious discomfort, reaching out for his hand which is still balled in his lap. 

“What we haven’t heard though-” Taehyung leans forward again, once more on the attack, and offers the two of you a raise of his brow and the slight hint of smirk on his full lips. “Is if you guys have done it yet.” 

“Taehyung.” Jimin sighs in exasperation and rolls his eyes. 

“Hyung!” Jungkook almost shouts out, drawing the attention of the older men, conversing with each other about something in the other corner of the room. His face reddens, and he lowers his voice, hissing out, “You can’t ask stuff like that.” 

“So that’s a no?” Taehyung quips, settling back into the couch, his legs crossed, as he regards you both with an air of amusement and aloofness. He holds your gaze, and you don’t back down, as his eyes move over your face, before he states suggestively, “Well, be careful when you do, (Y/N). Jungkookie’s really into biting.” 

And then he has the audacity to raise his brows at you in a gloating smirk, and send you a wink from across the couch. 

“HYUNG!” Jungkook is practically fire red now, and you are trying to hold back a laugh, knowing he’s legitimately embarrassed now under his roommate’s constant teasing. 

However. There it is again-buried deep within the black of his pupils-the look of absolute guttural want that sometimes washes over Jungkook’s features when he thinks you’re not looking, flashing across his irises at his roommate’s words.

“Do you always ask all of your roommates girlfriends these types of questions?” You retort, suddenly desperate to ignore the flaming feeling Jungkook’s brief express had lit in your belly, raising a curious eyebrow in the now lounging Taehyung’s direction. 

He flashes you another wink and a boxy smile. “Only the hot ones.” 

“Taehyung.” 

A deep voice sounds behind you, booming in the small space, and you jump slightly, whirling around to see Namjoon standing, arms crossed over his chest, shooting a serious look at the younger man. 

“That’s enough.” 

Taehyung pouts, but ducks his head to the older man and grumbles out, “Yes, hyung.” 

You had been right about the aura you got from Namjoon from the beginning after all. He’s beautiful, and tall, and has the prettiest eyes you’ve ever seen, but his features are set in a serious, mature way, and now-seeing how Taehyung reacts to his commands-you know that he’s the one in charge, at least in this house. 

“I hope they haven’t pestered you too much, (Y/N).” Namjoon motions toward Taehyung and Jimin, and offers you the hint of what you think is a smile, revealing a hollow dimple in his upper cheek, which catches you off guard. 

“Not at all.” You stumble over your words in your hurry to answer him, because the man standing before you makes you feel small and obedient and it’s almost as if your brain is begging to do whatever will please him. “It was all in good fun.” 

Namjoon nods, and then glances over your head, addressing your boyfriend. “Jungkook. It’s getting late. You should probably see (Y/N) home.” 

Jungkook rises without argument. “Right.” 

You are shocked, you have never seen Jungkook so quick to do what someone asks, and as you pull on your coat and say goodbye to each of the six men with who you have spent the evening, there is a part of you that wonders if roommates are not the only thing these men are to each other. 

*******

It is several days later, sitting in your own lackluster apartment, that you find out the truth to your questions from the night spent with Jungkook and his six mysterious, all too good looking, roommates. 

“(Y/N), come here for a sec!” 

You hear Jungkook calling to you from down the hallway, and pushing your reading glasses atop your head, and setting aside the work you are plugging away at, you follow his voice to your bedroom, where he is laying on the bed, staring at his phone. 

“What?” You ask, leaning against the door frame, letting yourself admire for a moment the swath of tan skin that peeks from beneath his hoodie, stretched across his muscular abdomen. 

“Do this TikTok trend with me.” Jungkook replies without looking at you, swiping through something you can’t see on his phone. 

“Kookie, no.” You complain, crossing the room to plop down on the bed beside him, as you glance at what he’s looking at. Some sort of new TikTok video with fang filters and gold eyes.”You know I don’t like being in your videos. I don’t want to.” 

“Come on.” Jungkook looks at you then, wide doe eyes dark with pleading, lips pulled into his teeth in a pout expression that makes you weak at the knees. “Just this once. Please?” 

You try to resist. You really do. But dammit, you can’t say no to those large eyes, rimmed with dark lashes, staring at you in such a way. 

“Damn you, Jeon.” You grumble out, and Jungkook grins triumphantly, because at those words and the sullen expression on your face, he knows he has won. 

You lie down flat on your back beside him on the small bed and squint your eyes as you glance up at his phone, your own face suddenly reflected back at you in garish light. 

“What do we have to do?” You ask reluctantly, careful not to stare at your reflection too long, instead, choosing to glance at Jungkook’s face shown back to you on the camera, the way his dark, long hair shadows his eyes, the way his pink lips are pursed as he gets the angle just right. 

“It’s really simple.” Jungkook shifts beside you, and his long finger taps the phone screen, placing the filter over the video, before he glances to the side and shoots you a grin-a grin so soft and excited that you can’t help but melt into the idea of the video just a little bit. “Vampires are really in right now. And basically, this filter shows you what you’d look like as one. See?” 

He shifts the phone-still held above your heads-and you glance at the two of you, now with gleaming golden irises and long sharp fangs that poke past your overly red lips. 

“I hate this.” You sigh out, and Jungkook chuckles from beside you, shifting the phone so that the filter falls away from you both for a moment, as he rises to his elbow beside you on the bed. 

He smells good-like cologne and fresh, clean linens, and the shampoo he uses in the shower. 

“C’mon, jagi. Just one video. For me.” Jungkook’s lips twitch, as if he wants to smile a the pout that comes across your features. He leans down and surprises you by kissing you briefly on the lips. “I promise if you do this with me, and be a good sport-” He adds, giving you a pointed look, as you sight once more. “I’ll make it worth it.” 

“How?” You quip back, though your stomach is fluttering at how close he is, and the buzzing hasn’t left your lips from when his mouth covered yours for the briefest of moments. You swallow, and try to look anywhere but those eyes-eyes that make you want to fall in and never come back out. “You’ll buy me boba?” 

“Yes.” Jungkook nods, agreeing too quickly, and reaches out to tap the end of your nose with his index finger, an odd look coming across his face. “Among other things.” 

Before you can ask him what he means, and why his words have suddenly sent your heart racing, he is lying back down beside you, and holding up the phone once more. “Okay, let’s go.” 

The video clicks to life, the filter turning you both into sad replicas of the vampires from Twilight, and Jungkook grins in his reflection on the screen, as he tilts his head toward you and asks, “What do you know about vampires, (Y/N)?” 

“Yah.” You scoff and roll your eyes, but remembering his promise, force yourself to look into the camera and continue with the video. “You didn’t tell me this was a pop quiz, Jeon Jungkook.” 

“It’s not.” Jungkook shrugs beside you, and you have to admit, his white teeth flashing behind pink lips look oddly enticing with the sharp points of the fangs pricking the plush skin. “It’s just for fun. Vampires. Go.” 

You sigh, but do as he asks. “Fine. Vampires.” You hold up your hand for the camera to see, and begin ticking down fingers as you list in a slightly flat, bored tone. “Vampires are allergic to garlic.” 

“Wrong.” Jungkook pipes up beside you, and you are startled, so much so, that you lose concentration and flick your eyes to him, forgetting about the video momentarily. 

He raises a brow at you and motions with his head toward the phone, as if telling you silently to go on. 

You try to refocus, stuttering slightly over your words. “Okay, um, vampires can’t enter a house uninvited.” 

“That’s not true either.” Jungkook interjects, and you flash him a glare, warning him to stop interrupting you, and wondering how he knows all of this enough to argue with you. 

“Fine.” You hiss out, and your eyes flash beneath the gold of the filter, as you turn back to the camera, starting to rapid fire off the rest of your list so your boyfriend can’t stop you to tell you how wrong you are again. “They can’t tolerate holy water, crosses burn them, sunlight hurts their skin, they can morph into bats, and they have no reflections.” 

You catch your breath, confident that you’ve beat him. 

“Inaccurate, false, entirely a myth, purely laughable-” Jungkook starts to list point blank from beside you, and you can feel the daggers you throw in his direction, as he pointedly ignores you and finishes up his smug commentary. “And last but not least, stupid as hell.” 

He turns to you, and meets your gaze, dodging the daggers completely before he shoots you a shit eating grin. 

“Fu-” You start to swear in frustration, and then you hear the video sound signal that the camera has been turned off. 

“You can’t swear in my TikTok video, babe. What will my followers think?” Jungkook, who has come to a sitting position beside you, looks over at you with dramatically horrified eyes and a berating smirk on his face, a look that you’d like to wipe right off his lips. 

“You asked me what I knew about vampires!” You protest hotly, coming to a cross legged position beside him, as you run a hand through your hair with jerky agitation. “And then you basically told me it was all bullshit!” You take in a deep breath, feeling yourself calm slightly. “Which is true, I guess, because vampires aren’t real, but still.” 

“I mean-” Jungkook finishes up doing something with the video and then locks his phone, tossing it onto the nightstand, as he meets your gaze once more, with a suddenly thoughtful look crossing his features. “Technically, not all of it is bullshit.” 

“Oh really?” You let out a humorless bark of laughter, and cross your arms over your chest as you glare at him. “Please. Tell me what’s true then.” 

“Vampires can’t cross running water.” Suddenly, Jungkook looks sheepish, and though the expression is cute, and softens your ire toward him, you’re not sure why. “That’s true.” 

“What?” You ask, slightly dumbfounded, staring at him. “That’s a thing?” 

“Yeah?” Jungkook asks, a slight question, confusion crossing his pretty features once more at your look of surprise. “You didn’t know that?” 

“I mean-” You shrug, and suddenly you’re on the verge of laughing. “No? I guess I never got around to studying vampire theory when we were in college.” You quirk an eyebrow at him, sitting silently across from you on the bed. “But apparently you did. How do you know all of this? Is my boyfriend secretly a closet nerd?” 

“I-” Jungkook starts to say, and then his words falter to a stop, and as you watch, his eyes get that look again-dark and slightly wild and hungry-and his gaze falls down your face to your lips in a way that has your heart pounding against your rib cage like a trapped bird. “(Y/N), there’s something you need to know.” 

“Okay-” You say, suddenly nervous, but unable to think or even wonder what he’s going to drop on you when he’s still staring at you as if he’s starving and you’re the last meal in the world. 

“I-” He starts again, and your eyes follow the movement as his tongue darts out to wet his lips, leaving them red and shining, and your heart more breathless than ever. He reaches up to rake a hand through his dark, thick hair, and his movements are agitated, which doesn’t seem to fit the mood that fills the air between the two of you. 

“Just don’t-” He tries again, and huffs out a frustrated sigh, meeting your gaze once more, and suddenly the tension between you is gone, his wide eyes back to normal. “Just don’t freak out, okay?” 

You swallow, and your fingers start to fiddle with the blanket between the two of you, your heartbeat loud in your ears. “Okay.” You say, for the second time, in as many minutes. 

You watch as Jungkook takes in a deep, steadying breath, and you prepare yourself for the words, ready to hear the words, ready to feel the cut. 

He’s cheated on you. He’s breaking up with you. He’s found someone else. He’s in love with Taehyung, or Jimin, and hell, who would blame him? 

“I’m a vampire.” 

Your eyes, screwed shut and waiting for the bomb, come open so fast that you feel dizzy for a moment, and you’re pretty sure your jaw drops to the floor. 

And then, you’re laughing, because you’re sure he’s joking. 

“No, seriously, Kookie, funny joke, but what is it?” You reach out, shoving him playfully in the shoulder, relieved laughter still trickling from between your lips. 

“I am serious.” Jungkook watches you laugh, confusion on his face at your reaction. 

“Vampires aren’t real, babe.” You manage to straighten your face and turn to him once more, eyebrows arched curiously as you stare at him. “What are you talking about? You’re joking. Right?” 

The silence grows between you after your question, and suddenly, your heart drops into your stomach. 

“Wait-” You begin to say, inching away from him to the other side of the bed, because suddenly, you’re very worried that Jungkook isn’t right in the head. “You really think you’re a vampire?” 

“I am a vampire.” Jungkook sighs out impatiently, reaching up to pinch his nose briefly between his thumb and forefinger, as he closes his eyes and takes in another deep breath. “(Y/N), that’s what I’m telling you. When we lost touch-” 

“No.” You stand up, suddenly shaking your head, your heart still pounding, but for a different reason now. “This is crazy talk, Jungkook. You can’t be serious.” 

“I am.” He stands and you square off across from each other in your small bedroom, the late afternoon sun shining onto the carpet and creating patterns in the space between you. Space that feels too far to overcome. “I’m not making this up, jagi. After college, I got into an accident and Namjoon found me and-” 

“Namjoon?” You scoff out, not believing your ears, as you stare at your boyfriend incredulously. “Now you’re trying to tell me your roommates are in on this crazy bullshit too?” 

“They’re not my roommates.” Jungkook replies seriously, eyes holding yours, pupils large and black. “They’re my coven. They took me in after saving my life by turning me.” 

“Nope.” You pop the word past your lips and push past him toward the open door. “I’m out. You’re crazy, man.” 

You hear Jungkook follow you down the hallway toward the bathroom. 

“(Y/N), will you please just listen to me-” 

“Get out of my apartment, Jungkook.” You shout back, reaching the safety of the bathroom,, already moving to slam the door shut on his face, but managing to get out through the shrinking crack, “Don’t come back until you’re ready to stop being insane.” 

You wait to hear the door crash into the lock, the sound of the clicking doorknob sealing you into the room, the final thump of Jungkook’s feet as he walks away and leave. 

But none of that happens. 

Because Jungkook has blocked the door from closing with his hand, and holy shit, is he strong. 

“Jungkook-” You warn, pushing against the door, as he manages to push himself inside the small bathroom with you. “Get. Out.” 

“No.” 

You look up at him in surprise-you’ve never heard him this serious, this firm before-and his eyes are dark, and his lips are set into a thin line, hand still holding open the partially closed door, wide shoulders filling the frame. 

“What?” You gasp out, anger starting to bubble its way into your chest. 

“I said no.” Jungkook repeats and takes a step toward you, backing you toward the bathtub that takes up one side of the room. “I need you to listen to me.” 

“I am listening to you!” You shriek, almost hysterical, as you feel your back hit the dingy, thin fabric of the shower curtain you and Jungkook had bought together at a local secondhand store. “You’re not listening to yourself, Jungkook. Because all this talk is batshit crazy.” Your knees hit the edge of the hidden tub. “Vampires?” You stare hard at him, and he’s so close, you can smell the hint of his soap. “Accidents? Covens??” 

“It’s true! All of it.” Jungkook blurts out, and his voice is frantic now, and pleading, as his eyes rove the space of the shower behind you, as if searching for a way to show you. “I’ll prove it to you!” 

“How?” You exclaim sharply, tired of this game. 

His doe eyes scan the room, and then he points to the shower, which you have almost entirely wedged yourself into with his forward advance, and his face brightens. “The shower.” 

“What about it?” You ask, and the situation would be comical, the two of you breathing hard and jammed into your tiny bathroom, if it were any other situation. Anything but this. Still, a little bit of the humor sneaks into your next words as the start of a hysterical laugh. “Are you going to 

Jungkook ignores you, reaching over your head for the handheld shower head, simultaneously using his other hand to turn on the hot water. 

He holds the now running head out to you expectantly, and states quietly, firmly, as if his words should mean something to you, “Vampires can’t cross running water.” 

You scoff, arms still held at your sides, and when you don’t move, your boyfriend closes the distance between you, and shoves the shower head into your hands. 

“What are you-” You start to protest, already feeling the water soaking your socks and puddling on the cheap tile of the bathroom floor, but before you can finish your sentence, Jungkook is stepping toward you once more. 

He reaches out a hand, and you note his fingers are trembling, which seems odd, but before you can think about it too much, his hand flattens against an invisible barrier, fingers splayed now for you to see, as he meets your gaze once more. 

“That doesn’t prove anything, you could be faking.” You snap out, although suddenly, your heart has sped up in your chest, and your own hand is shaking, making the water from the shower trail crazy patterns on the floor at your feet. 

You shove your own hand out toward Jungkook-a little too hard-and he winces slightly as you jab him in the face. 

“Sorry.” You apologize, pulling your hand back, and study him for a moment. “Do it again.” 

“Look.” Jungkook sighs, and stepping toward you once more, holds out his hand, pressing it up against the invisible glass pane, before he shifts his whole body up against the barrier. “I’m not faking, (Y/N).” 

And suddenly, your breath is catching in your throat, because even through the steamy bathroom, you can see. You can see that the way his clothes fold, and the way his fingers splay, the way his hair flattens against his forehead, as if pushed against a window, is not fake. 

And that means-

“Holy shit.” You breathe out, lowering the shower wand, as you stare at your boyfriend, water puddled around your feet, mouth open in shock. “You’re a vampire.” 

He offers you the hint of a crooked, humorless smile. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.” 

*******

Jungkok sighs from beside you, and turns his head to look at you, for what feels like the fifteenth time in as many minutes. “Will you stop staring at me?” 

“Sorry.” You shrug, propping yourself up on your elbow, as you reach out to poke first his cheek, and then his lips. “It’s just so fascinating. Like. You’re a whole ass vampire. My boyfriend. The vampire.” 

“Stop saying it like that.” Jungkook groans, throwing a hand over his eyes as you giggle in amusement. “Stop saying it like it’s my superhero name or something.” 

“Fine.” You grin, reaching out to push his hand away from his eyes, before you let your fingers fall to his mouth, flipping back his lip slightly, so the start of his white teeth show, as sudden childish excitement fills your tone. “Can I see your fangs?” 

“Really?” Jungkook asks with exasperation, propping himself up beside you, as he shoots you a look of slight frustration. 

“Yeah!” You nod, bouncing beside him slightly on the bed. “That’s like, the biggest thing to being a vampire right? I wanna see them!” 

“I mean, not the biggest thing-”Jungkook starts to grumble beneath his breath, but you’re on top of him, straddling him so your knees hug his hips, and your hands sink into the pillow beneath his head. He looks up at you, eyes wide, as if startled, and when he speaks, his voice is slightly choked. “What are you doing?” 

“Do you wanna bite me, Kook?” You ask, mostly teasing, staring down at him with as mischievous look as you can muster. You don’t allow yourself to focus on how his firm body feels beneath your own. Or the fact that you’re both crammed into the space of your tiny bed, so close that you can see the flecks of gold in his dark eyes. 

“No!” He blurts out, almost panicked, and you feel something like disappointment drop into your chest at his reaction, and you make a move to release him from beneath you. 

But then, his fingers are encircling your wrist, stopping you from pulling away, and you’re caught off guard, as he reaches up with his free hand to caress the side of your face. 

“I mean-” Jungkook speaks again, his voice barely above a murmur, and you’re pretty sure you’re having a harder time hearing him over the sound of your blood suddenly rushing in your ears. He bites his lip, teeth stark against the soft pink flesh. “I didn’t mean that. That was a lie.” 

You try to force a lightness back into yoru voice, a lightness you don’t feel, with the air practically crackling with electricity between the two of you. “You’re telling me that was bullshit, Jeon?” 

He nods, and you see the way his throat bobs as he swallows. “Yeah, that was bullshit.” 

“Why?” You breathe out, every last inch of teasing leaving your body as that look-the look that makes you feel weak and dizzy and hot all at once-floods fully into the caramel irises of Jungkook’s eyes, turning them dark and dangerous and entirely too tempting. 

“Because-” He matches your tone, words barely audible above the pounding of your heart, as his hungry eyes fall once more to your lips, and then down your throat. “I want nothing more than to taste you, (Y/N).” His chest, steady beneath your body, heaves as if he’s trying to catch his breath. “I’ve wanted nothing more since I saw you again-that day in the park. The way you smell, the way your pulse flutters beneath my touch, the way your heartbeat sounds-too loud in my ears-it all drives me insane, and I swear, I’d kill for a chance to bite you. Just once. But I-” 

Jungkook shakes his head as his words trail off, and his pupils constrict a bit, enough to show a ring of color around his eyes once more. 

“But what?” You ask, and your mouth feels dry, because you’re scared of what he’s going to say. You try lightness again, because you’re both struggling. “And don’t give me some Twilight bullshit, Kook, because I swear to God I’ll kill you. And then break up with you.” 

He huffs out a strained laugh, mouth tight, and worried wrinkles around his eyes, and his fingers loosen slightly on your wrist, as he reaches up once more to brush some stray hairs back from your face. “Nah, like I said, most cliche vampire myths aren’t true, and definitely not the ones perpetuated by Twilight.” He sighs, and sucks his bottom lip in between his teeth. “I can control myself, I won’t hurt you, I won’t turn into an animal. One taste won’t give me an insatiable thirst for human blood. It’s nothing like that.” 

“So what is it?” You ask, suddenly curious, trying to focus through the feeling of his fingers now dancing patterns on the bare skin of your side beneath your shirt. 

“I-” His mouth drops open, allowing the word to start, but not finish, and he rolls his eyes, suddenly self deprecating. “It’s stupid actually.” 

You stare at him, and when you don’t say anything, waiting for him to continue, he lets out another long sigh and then reaches up to rub at the back of his neck, avoiding your gaze. 

“It’s just that-” He swallows again, and you find your gaze drawn to his lips, the way they move to form his words, the way they would fit perfectly around a pair of long white fangs, the way they would feel against your skin, and you’re so distracted, that you almost miss what he says next. “You’re my first.” 

“What?” You ask, pure confusion lacing your tone, as you force yourself to meet his gaze once more, a gaze now awash in worry and embarrassment. “Your first what?” 

“Oh god, don’t make me say it, jagi, please.” Jungkook groans out, reaching up to swipe at his eyes with his hand, as a blush paints the tan skin of his cheeks. “You’re my first......bite.” 

“Really?” The word of astonishment pops out before you can stop it, and the pink on your boyfriend’s cheeks darkens beneath the cover of his hand. You clear your throat, composing yourself, and reaching out to remove his hand, try a different angle. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to sound so surprised. It’s just-” You think hard about your words for a moment before continuing. “Haven’t you been hungry?” 

“Can we not talk about details?” Jungkook pleads, putting a palm over your mouth, as if he physically doesn’t want you to ask questions. “The hyungs kept me fed. I’m fine.” 

“Okay.” You drawl out from behind his hand, and he must feel the smile starting against his skin, because he pulls away from you, but you stop him by pinning him beneath your body, as you hold his gaze. “Fine. So let’s not talk then.” 

Your eyes follow the bob of Jungkook’s throat as he takes in the full meaning of your words, and behind the slight uncertainty that flashes across his eyes, you see something else. 

The desire. 

You lean down, and your lips are almost brushing when you speak again, and the heat in Jungkook’s eyes, alighting the gold specks, is causing coils of anticipation in your core. 

“Do you want to bite me, Kook?” You ask once more, completely serious this time. 

His tongue licks across his lips, and the warmth of his breath washes across your face, as his eyes fall to your mouth, barely centimetres from his own. 

He nods. “Yes.” 

“So stop thinking-” You let your fingers run up the skin beneath his shirt, and he tenses beneath you as your lips find his between each of your words. “And just do what comes naturally.” 

You run your lips across the corner of his mouth, and arch your body into his, angling the juncture of your throat beneath your jaw so that it brushes across his lips and the tip of his nose. 

Jungkook lets a groan slip from between his parted lips, and his fingers find purchase at your hips, breath hot on your skin, teeth grazing your throat as he murmurs against you, “Shit, your heartbeat is so loud.” A hint of teasing seeps into his next words, though he’s slightly breathless. “Is that for me?” 

“I mean-” You pant out, having to choke back a moan, your words stuttering to a stop for a slight moment, as Jungkook sucks open mouthed kisses down the column of your throat. “If you want it.” 

“I do.” Jungkook’s voice is low now, a growl, and you start slightly as you feel a sharp prick against the flesh of your throat, at the juncture of your jawline. 

“Are those-” You start to ask, and move as if to pull away, the sudden heat of the moment suddenly taking a backseat to your burning curiosity. 

Jungkook groans, and not in pleasure this time, as he stops you from moving away from him and when he speaks, his voice is full of exasperation, lips still brushing the skin of your neck, and though you can’t see his expressions, you can practically imagine him rolling his eyes. “Please don’t tell me you’re tying to see them. Not right now.” 

You hide a grin. “Okay. Sorry.” 

“Now.” Jungkook’s fingers curl around your chin, and he makes you meet his gaze, irises almost completely swallowed up in the black of his pupils, as he tilts your head slightly to the side, fingers stroking over the fluttering pulse point beneath your jaw. “I believe you said this was for me?” 

You feel breathless, and lightheaded, and the way he’s looking at you is making it hard for you to think again and all you manage to get out is a dumb sounding, half affirmation in response, “Mmmhmm.” 

He smirks at you, and his fingers play along the crease of your collarbone, tracing the outline of the hollow at the base of your throat. “Remember, this is my first time, so be patient with me, yeah?” 

“This is my first time.” You quip back, though you don’t sound fierce, you sound breathless. “So be gentle.” 

“You know what they say.” Jungkook grins now, and you finally, finally get a look at the coveted fangs as they flash blindingly white in his mouth, and dammit all, if they don’t make him even more sexy. “Practice makes perfect.” 

Damn Jeon Jungkook. Damn Vampire Jeon Jungkook

*****

“Hey, it’s Kookie!” 

Taehyung crows the greeting as soon as the two of you walk through the door of the penthouse, and flinging his arms around the two of you, envelopes you both in a bear hug. 

“Glad you guys could make it. Life has been so boring since you moved out.” Taehyung continues on, dragging the two of you behind him toward the dining room as he talks incessantly over his shoulder, as if he’s been starved for conversation. “You guys down for dinner and drinks and games?” 

You glance at Jungkook, and he shrugs in response. “Yeah, hyung, sounds fund We don’t have plans.” 

“Wait.” 

Taehyung stops dead in the entrance to the dining room and whirls to face the two of you, eyes narrowed, as he looks you both over suspiciously. “something’s different here.” 

Jungkook instantly stiffens beside you, and you feel his fingers curl nervously against your palm. “I don’t know what you’re talking about hyung-” 

“WAIT.” Taehyung leaps toward you, making you step back nervously, as his fingers find your chin and wrench your head to the side. “Aha! I knew it!” 

You know exactly what he’s looking at. 

The almost healed puncture wounds that dot the side of your throat. 

Courtesy of one Jeon Jungkook. 

“Hyung.” Jungkook whines, as if begging his older friend to remain quiet in the matter, a blush already darkening his cheek at what’s coming. 

“I KNEW YOU TWO DID IT.” Taehyung pats your cheek a little bit too hard in his excitement, before crushing Jungkook to him with a few hearty slaps on the back. “Congrats!” 

Jungkook rolls his eyes at you over his friend’s shoulder, and you stifle a laugh, because no matter how much Taehyung embarrasses him, you know he means well. 

Taehyung releases Jungkook and turns back to you. “Told you he was into biting.” He winks at you slyly, a smirk lighting up his handsome features. 

“Hyung.” Jungkook’s voice has risen an octave, and his cheeks are on fire. 

“You know-” Taehyung motions over his shoulder at Jimin, who has now joined you in the doorway, come to see what the hold up is. “We’re into biting too.” He shoots you a completely wicked grin. “Let us know if you ever wanna join us.” 

“Taehyung. That’s enough.” 

Namjoon’s voice thunders from the dining room beyond, and Taehyung, barely phased, rolls his eyes at you, before he turns and slings an arm around Jimin’s shoulders to enter the dining room. 

But not before giving you one last conspiratorial wink. 

“You’re not really considering that, are you?” Jungkook hisses beneath his breath as you start to enter the dining room behind the other men. 

You shrug, hiding your smile. “Who knows?” At the look of panic that crosses his face, you laugh, reaching out to tap the end of his nose with your finger, before leaning in to kiss him. “Just kidding. But I am into biting too, you know.” You shoot him a suggestive grin. 

Jungkook rolls his eyes and pinches the back of your hand where it rests in his, making you laugh once more as you take your seats at the table. 

“Just promise me two things-you’ll only ever be into biting with me." He points to himself, a slight smile starting to lift the corners of his lips. “Because another vampire myth that I forgot to mention that isn’t bullshit is that we’re insanely jealous.” He ticks another finger at you, and now he’s grinning in that way you love, with his nose scrunched and his eyes turning into half moons. “And, number two, you’ll never use the shower head as a weapon when I’ve done something to upset you.” 

You squeeze his hand where it rests under the table. “Promise.” 

[copias-thrall]

I really liked the Papa III x F! S/o where the s/o was a typical shy and cute introvert, but this huge dork with those closer to her. Would it be alright if I requested the same with our dear Papa Copia (god I’m so happy to call him papa now :) )

Of course, nonny! Let’s get some sweet Papa IV up in here.

(Reference Prompt here. 😊)

Copia notices you because of your quiet nature. There are lots of Siblings that are vying for his attention and favors…and then there you are: sitting quietly during mass and reading the hymn book.

(He doesn’t have to know that you’ve been reading the same page the whole time while you admire him from out of the corner of your eyes.)

Every time he looks out, all he sees is your quiet dignity, and it speaks to him on such a personal level. While he’s grown to enjoy and embrace the showmanship of the Ghost project, he’s not a natural extrovert. So, when he sees you existing in your subdued state, he can’t help but yearn to be right there with you.

He sees you reading your book in the quad on a nice day, and he immediately pictures himself with his head in your lap as you read to him. When he spies you daydreaming in the library, he imagines what it would be like to play footsie with you under the table. As he comes across you sweeping the halls with your headphones on, he pictures giving you a homemade mixtape to listen to while you work.

Really, he wants to worm his way into the rich inner life he knows you must have.

He never does anything about it, though—in his mind you’ve been perfectly clear about your indifference to him. And he’d rather not stammer through an invitation that you’re only going to reject.

The mess hall is always a sticking point for Copia. He loves the attention—he does; it amuses him to watch the Siblings fight over who acquires his meal and who gets sits next to him. He’s still a man with an ego, and he likes it to be stroked.

But.

Some days, the whole scene just gives him a headache. On days just after an important sermon, or when he’s just back from tour, or when he’s spent the morning on a stack of paper Imperator has given him, “ASAP now, please, Papa”—it’s simply too much for him to have to be On for his admirers.

On those days, he has his Ghouls create a distraction (and Dew is always more than happy to set a fire) so that he can get in and get out with no one noticing. Then, he tries to find a quiet, out of the way place to eat his food in peace.

And that’s how he encounters you cavorting about with your friends.

You're out on the grounds because it's a fine spring day, and he can't believe that his this reserved, demure Sister is running about and chasing her fellow sister with a worm! You're laughing—not a coy titter, but a full belly laugh after you make a ribald joke about Imperator and a Brother!

Copia gapes.

You have a secret side that only your intimates know about? Well! It’s a circle he desperately wants to be a part of! (Even if he’s contractually not allowed to jest about the Seestor.) 

He imagines your laugh ringing out in his quarters as you let his babies crawl all over you (someone who doesn’t mind worms surely wouldn’t mind rats, yes?), and how you'd make him laugh with your uncouth humor. He can almost taste the domesticity.

But…he decides to stay out of sight—he doesn't want to ruin the party (which he’s sadly come to realize that, as Papa, he does quite often just by virtue of his presence)—and that’s when he realizes he actually has a hope.

You’re lying back in the grass, watching the clouds roll by, and you say,

“Hey, that one looks like a rat,” to which your friend responds, “That’s just cuz you have Popia on the brain.”

“I do not!”

“You think he’s gOrGeOUs, you want to KisS him, you want hUG him,” he singsongs.

“Shut it!” you screech as your face flushes and you throw a balled up napkin at him. 

He blocks it easily, and you lie back down with a huff.

“Whatever. He doesn’t even know I’m alive.”

Embarrassingly, the conversation shifts to how you’ve done it to yourself and if you’d just look at Copia instead of doing your best impression of a church mouse, that would be a good start.

Your face burns the whole time. I mean, having his intense focus just on you? 

You shudder. 

Surely you’d combust.

Copia bites his fist.

He could…? Have you??

***

Perhaps any of the other Papas would have been on you like white on rice…but research has always been more Copia’s thing.

Which means he spends the next few weeks slinking about like a bad spy (seriously—he might as well have on Groucho Marx glasses) trying to figure out what all your favs and interests are. 

And the Siblings are beginning to talk about it.

“He was behind a column, and I thought he was a statue,” hisses one. “He moved, and it scared the crap out of me!”

“I saw him petting the potted plants in the west corridor like a weirdo,” whispers another. “I hope Primo doesn’t hear about it!”

“I went into the broom closet to get cleaning supplies, and when I pulled the light on, he was just…standing there!” laughs someone else. “I was too surprised to be startled. He just coughed and excused himself!”

The only weird thing to you is that you seem to be the only Sibling who hasn’t witnessed Copia being adorable odd.

You often sit by that pillar to read when it’s chilly outside, and that area in the west corridor is where you sweep. Heaven!—that broom closet is next to the wash station you use! How haven’t you seen him even once?

Dew thinks this is great fun. He’s been suggesting even more ridiculous schemes (that Swiss and he giggle about back in the Ghoul dorms) for Copia to “overhear” you and your party—which Copia is taking down in earnest.

Aether thinks Copia’s being a dumbass and guesses he and the girls will have to fix this mess. Cirrus thinks Copia just needs to learn the hard way (“He’s taking advice from Dew—how does he not know better?!”), but Cumulus agrees. The two of them coral Copia into the practice space where they firmly, but gently, tell him to stop pussyfooting around and just kiss the girl already!

Copia stutters out a series of awkward rat noises before simply nodding.

“I have been procrastinating, eh?”

“You can do it, Boss.”

“Who’s the best Papa!”

Copia straightens his posture. “I am.”

***

You’re staring out the window in the classroom—woolgathering instead of dusting—when you hear a quiet throat clear behind you. You nearly jump out of your skin and hurriedly turn to make your excuses.

What you’re expecting is Sister Imperator on one of her shadow runs—but what you see is a one (1) Papa in his casual blacks (that still seem vacuum-sealed onto him) looking at you with eyes full of mirth.

It’s with great effort that you yank your eyes from his thighs up to his face.

“Oh! Your Dark Excellency, sir! I-I-I…” you stutter before composing yourself. “If you need the room…?”

A smirk turns up one side of his lips as his white eye twinkles at you.

“It is you I wish to be seeing.”

You toss the duster to the side and smooth down your habit.

“M-me?”

“Sí.”

Did you do something wrong??

You worry nervously at the sides of your habit.

“I—” Copia starts, then suddenly looks unsure. He runs his hands over his head, smoothing his thick hair back into place.

He starts again, his speech clipped and formal.

“Would you do me the honor, Sister, of joining me for dinner?”

 “I—dinner?” Like a staff dinner? Or...?

Copia blinks at you.

“I am asking you on a date.”

You blink right back.

Just you and him? Alone… 

His face turns into lines of apprehension.

“Mi scusi—perhaps I am mistaken.”

He starts to back away, and you finally find your voice.

“Wait!”

When he stops, you gulp and take a deep breath.

“I would like that, Your Dark Excellency.”

A look of relief smooths his worried expression right before he smiles at you.

“Ah…‘Papa’ is fine, Sister.”

He takes his leave of you, closing the door behind him.

You manage to hold yourself together for another moment before you let out a loud whoop and jump up and down (and unbeknownst to you, Copia is standing just outside the door, beaming).

***

Dinner went over smashingly (literally—between the nervous energy of two of you, a plate, a goblet, and a wine bottle all ended up in pieces). Copia was the perfect mix between awkward rat man and smooth Papa, and you felt comfortable enough to engage easily in conversation with him. 

You’d been a little trepidatious about after dinner (Copia certainly had not absented himself from the pleasures afforded to a Papa), but the only thing you’d done in his quarters was to meet his rats.

He’d walked you back to your room, then asked if he could kiss you. It was just a press of his lips to yours as he’d cupped your cheek, but it had felt like a promise.

The two of you end up making a perfect couple, actually. Copia, of course, respects your quiet demeanor, but it’s more than that—he understands it. The only time he singles you out is when you need to be his date to a clergy function or Abbey party—and he always gives you forewarnings for those!

On the flipside, you and he have the high capacity to be total dorks. The two of you feed off each other's humor, often being the only two in the room cracking up as you wheeze half-uttered statements at each other while the rest of the gathered looks on with pained expressions.

But neither of you care. 

You finally have your Papa, and he’s made all of his imaginings with you a reality. 

[dalekofchaos]

Why do you ship max and warren.... she clearly is disgusted by the fact that he likes her 😭

Um here’s my explanation for Grahamfield.

Also, no she isn’t.

She’s never shown any sign of disgust for Warren. Max has shown nothing but fondness, appreciation and love for Warren. It is your choice as the player to choose either Warren or Chloe

Lets look at every example of Max and Warren’s relationship to see if Max is “clearly disgusted” by Warren’s feelings for him

Granted, Warren does send many texts to Max, but Max is a anxious and introverted person. Not a sign of disgust, Max herself said in episode 1 she lives in her own little cocoon. Also if you met someone who you had similar interests with, wouldn’t you want to be more closer?  Warren can be persistent and he knows it can be a bother, and doesn’t want to be but Max doesn’t mind. And honestly, being persistent isn’t always a bad thing. If I wasn’t always persistent, I would not have the connections I do today. And it really isn’t bad in Warren’s case.

Max retrieves the flash drive for Warren

Max wants to talk to Warren about her crazy day and about her powers

Max thanks Warren for saving her from Nathan

You have the opportunity to accept or reject the “Going Ape” 

Warren comes to check on Max in Jeffershit’s class, Max is receptive towards Warren and they both express worry for Kate

The first person Max sought comfort with whether you save Kate or unable to save Kate, is Warren. Warren will either praise Max for saving Kate or there to tell her it is not her fault for being unable to save Kate and Warren will hug Max at the end of episode 2 but leaving enough space for Max’s personal space, it was sweet and nice of him. 

Warren will send a message saying how proud he is that Max saved her or if Kate died, Warren is there for Max saying that they can cancel on their “Going Ape” date but leaves the option open if she needs something to help her take her mind off things.

Warren is the first person Max calls on how to get in the principal’s office

He even asks to make sure she’s okay

In the alternate universe, Max looks genuinely distraught that Warren hooked up with Stella.

Warren reacts to whether or not you kissed Chloe and is willing to step down if Max is more interested in Chloe, but Max says she still wants to go ape with him. If you declined the offer and you kissed Chloe, Warren will back down and understands why Max likes Chloe

Max’s cute little message for Warren’s dorm. Also worth noting while writing the message, Max will say “sometimes you have to take a chance and see what happens”

Max can either stop or let Warren beat up Nathan

She might’ve sighed when Chloe said “that dude’s so in love with you” but a lot of romances in fiction either sighs or groans when their potential partner shows feelings for them. Perfect example is Han and Leia. Leia spent the majority of ESB sighing at Han being Han. Still not a sign of disgust

Max takes the time to chill with Warren and even take a selfie with him

You as the player has the choice to kiss or hug Warren. 

If you examine Warren after kissing him, Max will say this

After kissing Warren, Max’s journal will say this

If you are referring to Max’s reaction in the nightmare world. EVERYONE WAS ACTING THAT WAY, IT WAS THE FUCKING NIGHTMARE WORLD! Warren, Chloe, Kate, Nathan, Frank, David and even fucking Samuel. They could be interpreted as Max’s secret fears for everyone. Including Warren, Kate and Chloe.  People point out that Warren said and acted that way because Max was secretly disturbed by his attention (which yes, while I ship Grahamfield I could see that). They also say Chloe acted the way she did in it because Max was insecure about their relationship (again, yeah, I ship Pricefield but I could see it playing out that way). But what about when Max was talking to herself? And as Max put it "Chloe does a better job at guilt tripping me than you do." The Nightmare-Max points out that Chloe bullies her, saying it’s like “Stockholm syndrome” and Max herself says that Chloe guilt trips her. Nightmare-Max also says she’s more worried about Chloe killing them than Jefferson also asking Max if Chloe even respects them in any way. This doesn’t say healthy relationship to me. In fact it seems quite the opposite. If all those other scenes were Max’s secret feelings towards them, then what is this scene where she is actually discussing with herself how she feels about Chloe?

If you choose Save Arcadia Bay. At Chloe’s funeral, Max stands next to him, and for a moment, it shows how she gets a little closer to him.

Max has never shown any signs of disgust for Warren. If anything, Max shows fondness, appreciation and love for Warren They can either be platonic or romantic. It is our choice as the players. 

The game is tailor made to be focused on Max and Chloe and didn’t really give Max and Warren to flesh out, but still it is clear throughout Max’s interactions with Warren and Max’s journal entries that she does love him and Warren through example has shown that he loves her.

Honestly I just wish they gave us the choice on who we have Max focus on. Chloe, Warren, Kate, Victoria or Nathan. We should be given a choice instead of having it be just Chloe. Though if we are only allowed to choose between Chloe and Warren, we should have been given two choice routes for Max to play through. Chloe and Warren.

I’m honestly quite sick of the unfair hate Warren gets and the Grahamfield ship and shippers get. 

[fanfictiondreamscape]

First Kisses (Haikyuu - pt. 1)

Title: First Kisses (Haikyuu - pt. 1)

Genre: fluff, tons of it

Pairing: Sugawara/Tsukishima/Yaku/Akaashi/Kunimi x reader (all separate)

Notes: Nothing too unusual, but I thought that I’d start the posting to get something on the page. Whether it gets read, we’ll find out, but I couldn’t help myself. Onto the cliche headcanons. (I may do more of these, but for the time being, this will only consist of my top five characters in the anime). Quick note: some of these may be longer than others. 

Only a forewarning, but inspiration hit harder in certain areas, y’know. 

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Masterlist

Sugawara Koushi

ok so

hear me out here, but I think that - for this to happen - it’d be with someone very shy.

someone that’s very shy and reserved while also remaining very aloof and observant

(maybe even a little sarcastic?)

like...he’d be attracted to their air, y’know? 

as for the kiss...

the kiss itself would be done somewhere fairly private. and a little covered in shadow

someplace like the back row of a movie theater or the hidden corner of a cafe or restaurant. maybe even out in public when nobody’s outside (read: late night walk in the park) 

like seriously, just imagine that, i swear-

ANYWAYS

the two of you would be holding hands, he’d be admiring you while you’re doing whatever you do

he thinks everything you do is adorable, and he can’t help but admire you

it’s only when you notice his googly eyes that you let him know that you know he was staring

he’d blush a little, but remain generally composed. 

the quiet would be broken very suddenly by suga

“your so cute when you’re focused.” 

little did you know, you were pouting. 

he found that the most adorable.

he continued to watch you as you turned your eyes to the floor

oH BOY DID HIS HEART FLUTTER-

he couldn’t help himself. 

time seemed to slow down as you looked up and he leaned in closer. 

eventually, the two of you were staring into each others eyes

and once he peeked down for a millisecond, he kissed you

the kiss itself was very sweet, very gentle, but also had a slight bite to it? 

(how am I supposed to explain this? does this even make any sense?) 

as it got more passionate, he cupped your cheek with his hand as you gripped his shoulder lightly 

as the two of you pulled away from each other, everything around you was a little blurry 

even through the shadows, he could see that you were blushing a firetruck red

(little did he know, he was blushing the same color)

overall, the first kiss between you two would be very romantic and very sweet. 

considering it’s suga, though, prepare for a little teasing and a tight hug afterwards.

Tsukishima Kei

OK

THIS BOI I SWEAR- 

it’s a well known fact that this beanpole is very obnoxious and snarky

so his s/o would be very much the same

maybe not as introverted, but very much sarcastic and witty

in order to last with this smartass, you’d have to be intelligent and have thick skin

good luck

otherwise, the kiss would most likely happen somewhere very private.

like his s/o’s room or his room, or when they’re home alone. 

just somewhere very private and comfy

now here’s the thing- 

i think the kiss itself would happen in the midst of a debate

something to throw the other off, y’know?

sooo...

the TV is playing in the background, probably some movie with a huge plot hole

it annoys both of you, but the two of you have two different opinions of how the plot hole could be fixed. 

like...

you’re claiming that the timeline could be fixed had they found a certain item before a different one

and he’s claiming that the timeline could be fixed without the inclusion of either item

a whole back-and-forth ensues

the kiss itself though

that happens when you are starting to hesitate with comebacks and reasoning

like-

you know you’re right, but he’s pressing your buttons so much

the timeline is heavily dependent on the items that you stand by, so

(though he won’t admit it, he knows that the items are beneficial to the plot, and he’s only doing this to see you get flustered and red)

since tsukki’s not backing down, you decide that you have to do something drastic

something that’ll make the smart mouth speechless

so you decide that the time is now

when he’s looking at you with that smug look on his face, his mouth just slightly opened and about to make some baseless remark

you lean in and kiss him

it’s very short, very light

but now that he is shocked, you’re happy. 

except...

he regains his composure and tilts your head to meet him

he kisses you this time

this time, its very passionate, a little rough, and a little messy

but the both of you enjoy it very much

the two of you act like nothing happened, but it’s the little moments like that that make the two of you happy

and you two tend to kiss and get a little more clingy in private-

overall, very short and kind of sneaky. 

there’s still love behind it, of course

but there’s no real ‘pause’ or slowing of time until the second kiss

Yaku Morisuke

now-

i believe that this guy would be drawn to someone that’s very bubbly and energetic

not like yamamoto or lev, but very high-energy and outgoing

which also leads to the setting

A VOLLEYBALL GAME!

who tf would’ve guessed, oh my-

so like, the team is going up against a really powerful and notoriously defensive team

and while Nekoma is going HARD

they’re still behind

the sets were even and the odds did not seem to be in their favor

you’re in the stands, next to the mini yamamoto and lev’s sister 

cheering loudly, helping lev’s sister understand the game a little better

anyway...

things are getting tough, and they call a time out

when Nekoma goes to their spot to discuss

you make eye contact with yaku 

and you send him a thumbs up while mouthing ‘you got this!’

he sends you a big smile

and his upbeat mood almost completely lifts the slowly dengenerating one of the team

so when they are done elaborating a game plan following the slight loss of a flow

the members in play go onto the court rejuvenated. 

with the new energy, they’re able to snag the lead 

and, with a three-point difference, they win 25-22

a close call, but they’re excited nonetheless.

so are you and the girls that you were cheering with

as soon as they are finished lining up and people start to leave

you immediately run out of the gym and wait by the doors for your boyfriend and the team to come out 

when they do, yaku comes out a little after the other team members

it’s your squeal that shocks him

the kiss happens when you jump onto him

(think something like the falling kiss between victor and yuuri from YOI)

kind of rough, slight teeth, but very romantic and passionate.

nothing bordering on lustful, but most definitely NOT shy 

it would eventually mellow out to be more gentle and tame

the scene would lead to mixed reactions from the team, but

you can be sure that kuroo would have some smart remark, lev would have a dumb remark, and yamamoto would be fussing that he doesn’t have a girl

overall, while the kiss would be surprising and rough at first, it would calm down a lot

very romantic, very shocking, but also very memorable

ok but on another note, can something like this happen to me please-

Akaashi Keiji

ok now

this guy would probably be drawn to someone very laidback

kind of chaotic (think quiet chaos)

and very outgoing 

like, someone like beck from victorious?

oh god, it’s all coming back to me now-

not so flirty and borderline flighty, but they’d carry the same air that beck does

otherwise, the kiss would probably happen when the two of you are in a private area of something

like a friendly outing or something, and bokuto would be acting like a fool with kuroo or another team member

so like- 

the two of you would be cuddled up next to each other silently

maybe like in a less-obvious area

someplace hidden

and you’d just be doing your own thing

playing on your phone, reading, maybe even studying with the pretty setter

either way, you’re absorbed in your work 

just as much as he is

though he has been taking slight peeks at you while you were doing whatever

it was distracting him

and he was trying to read

just imagine him thinking 

‘they’re so pretty when they’re focused’

you don’t realize that he’s staring at you, but you do eventually are made aware of someone looking at you 

with this guy being how he is, he’d probably just keep looking if you made eye contact with him

you’d laugh, he’d turn a little red

ultimately, though, he’d lean forward despite the flustered reaction.

he’d pause in front of you, just watching your lips twitch up into a small smile

a little nod would be the unspoken allowance that he was asking for.

now.

THE KISS

HOO BOY

i imagine that this would be magical

like- 

the sparks never leave even after a couple hours.

even then, the remaining sparks are like little fairies that won’t leave your side.

it’s slow, it’s soft, it’s romantic

it’s also not the most gentle, not the most experienced, not the most clean (for lack of a better word) 

but it’s everything that either of you could’ve asked for

when the two of you pull away, you giggle a little

akaashi smiles a little

(you know the one!) 

anyway, after the kiss

you two would be made aware of the people around you 

like bokuto 

who is screaming “YEAH! FINALLY!” 

you full on bust out laughing and akaashi rolls his eyes

(he may appear bothered, but he finds it endearing)

he does keep a slightly tighter grip on you after that though

overall, his kiss, in my opinion would be the best

if not THE best, then ONE of the best (next to yaku’s oop-)

very smooth, but very inexperienced

while also remaining so unabashedly him, y’know?

Kunimi Akira 

now, i haven’t seen as much love for this guy 

while i may be missing it or not looking in the right place, i thought i’d contribute to the kunimi train

ANYWAYY

i think he’d go for a bookworm 

not necessarily quiet or loud, but very much to themselves.

someone whose shell would have to break 

kunimi would probably be best friends with his s/o before he even thought of wanting to date them

and much like suga, i think that the first kiss would happen somewhere slightly private

by slightly private, i mean an area that couples would be plentiful

amusement parks, regular parks, you get it

either way, the area wouldn’t change the kind of kiss

since he is so quiet, i feel like he’d find a way to just relax with you

in a place that is ironically romantic (considering he doesn’t care too much)

that being said, i imagine that this would happen on the ferris wheel 

cliche, i know, but just let me elaborate

it’d be getting dark, the two of you would have been at the amusement park with your friends

or maybe even upperclassmen

either way, you two have finally gotten a break from the personalities

and you just want time with each other

no talking, just calm and quiet 

anyway, on your search to find something quiet to do

kunimi sees the ferris wheel and notices that the line isn’t very long

(perfect for him, seeing as his laziness is a factor written in the wiki-)

he directs your attention to it in a way that involves little words, and you agree to his suggestion

after a few minutes of waiting, you two get seated and just sit in silence

throughout the whole ride (up to this point), kunimi was looking at you 

observing how the sunset makes you glow in the light 

how the carnival lights reflect in your eyes 

and he melts

you wouldn’t notice it since you are so absorbed in the view of the event

and he is absorbed in the view of you 

now, here’s where things get odd

he wouldn’t know how to approach the thought of your first kiss when it crosses his mind 

all he knew is that he refused to plan it, the idea struck him, and the timing was perfect.

so.

he just reaches for you hand, and when you turn to look at him

he quickly leans in and pecks your lips

short, sweet, but full of love

definitely leaves the both of you flustered, but

you two do end up scooting a little closer to you after it 

and spend the rest of the night at each other’s hip

overall, the kiss is very quick

don’t let that fool you, though, especially with kunimi

the kiss is perfect coming from him, and wouldn’t be the slightest bit overwhelming

it’d leave for more calm atmosphere between the two of you 

[allthemarrowoflife]

my headcanons for harry and neville, a rarepair i just found out about but already think is the softest

this got Long but bear with me here, they're two of my golden era favourites and I'm a sucker for some peaceful and cute fluffy love

they become really close friends once both go back to hogwarts for eighth year. in the nights harry wakes up sweating from nightmares and neville just can't sleep, they sit in the common room together

sometimes they talk about the deep stuff neither ever had a chance to, knowing the other can relate to at least some of it. (it also helps that hermione has put everyone she knows in contact with some wizarding mental health clinics cause we all know she would). sometimes neville will ramble about random facts or interesting books about herbology and harry just sits there and watches the way his eyes shine when he's allowed to be passionate. sometimes harry will ramble about quidditch or DADA and neville will sit there and listen to the excitement in his voice. and sometimes they just sit in silence and enjoy the company

harry gives up on the ideia of becoming an auror (that boy has had enough action and danger in his life, let him have some peace and quiet), so minnie mcg and the current DADA professor write him a recommendation letter for the DADA course in the Advanced Studies Academy (I don't really care if that really exists in the wizarding world, to me it does and it's kinda like uni) and he's accepted. neville is recommended by professor sprout and minnie for the herbology course in the same Academy

instead of looking for flats separately in the same city, they talk and decide it would be simpler if they just shared. the summer after graduation is spent looking for flats. except they don't find any that actually feels like them and the city is so big and there's so much noise and crowds

so one afternoon, harry shows up at madam longbottom's doorstep and takes neville to see a place, all the way saying "look, it's not exactly a flat and it's not in the neighbourhood we were aiming for BUT trust me, you'll understand when you see it"

and that's how two 19-year-old boys end up moving to an old but charming cottage on the outskirts of a forest near a small lake. the main reasons they discarted all other options upon seeing it include but are not limited to: a big bright kitchen for harry to have fun in, a small greenhouse that needs some loving, lots of space for teddy to play in when he grows a bit and the half an hour distance to the city, which does wonders to both their introverted and anxious natures

they stock the house with plants, books and old vinils. the walls are filled with photos of their friends, families and professors. by the front door, there's the moving photo minnie gave them, the graduation photo of the class of 1978, with both their sets of parents, surrounded by friends, smiling. hanging in the living room there's a gryffindor-themed banner that dean painted as a housewarming gift. jumpers and flannel shirts are tossed over chairs to be picked up later. there's a warm blanket permanently kept on the couch for movie nights on the muggle telly. neville starts growing vegetables and spices so harry can cook without driving all the way to town every week. there's a weird pendant hanging over the back door that they don't even what is the purpose of but leave there anyway cause it's colorful and was a gift from luna

neither of them had good childhoods and neither were offered much affection and support growing up, so they manage to find that in each other. be it through physical affection, bringing home little things they think the other will like or simply saying nice stuff

they genuinely make each other better. they talk about the bad stuff and laugh about the good. neville is the soft voice and the hand on harry's arm that calm his temper, while harry is the hug and warm presence that ease neville's constant worry

their first kiss happens on the exact 0:00 minute between their birthdays while they're stargazing on the grass behind the cottage. teddy, who is staying with them for a few days, is peacefully sleeping in his brightly-painted room. the summer air is fresh around them. fireflies are loose. the kiss is soft and sweet. there's nothing of the fear of ruining their friendship, it just feels like a natural turn that doesn't really change much of their dynamic except for the fact that they can now openly stare at each others eyes and say sappy things

neville is panromantic and asexual and harry just knows he's bi but doesn't really care about all the sex stuff, so their relationship (which is official now) never really gets past kisses and caressing touches, but that's exactly how they want it

now let's please take a moment for the domestic scene: 185cm tall harry potter, saviour of the wizarding world and defense against the dark arts academic, drying cloth hanging from his shoulder, dancing around in their kitchen with 170cm tall neville longbottom, hero of the wizarding world and herbology academic, who has a spot of dirt on the tip of his nose and freckles from the spring sun lighting up the front garden. you're welcome.

a random afternoon right after they graduate (with honours) from the Advanced Studies Academy, minnie shows up for tea and casually drops the information that the DADA and herbology positions at hogwarts are now vacant

welcome to the hogwarts staff, professor potter and professor longbottom, it's not as if the other professors had been planning on this all along, of course, nothing of the sort

they still go back to the cottage for the weekends, summer and winter holidays, and take time to travel around the world, sometimes for research on their areas of expertise, sometimes just for fun. during the school year, they drop by the three broomsticks to catch up with hannah or do pub nights with their friends

one summer night, they're watching a muggle movie cuddled on the couch and neville blurts out "haz, do you ever think about getting married?". that's how they got engaged. the ceremony and party are small and both held on their own backyard. teddy carries the rings and luna is the flower girl. they don't choose best-men and instead just divide their friends in two groups and call all of them the "grooms-maids"

they never get any pets, since they're basically only home like three months of the year. harry splits teddy's custody with andromeda cause she's old and definitely can use some help. ginny marries luna, dean marries seamus, lavender (who is alive and proud of her scar and eventual wolfish inclination) marries parvati, ron marries hermione. they're all happy, healthy and constantly meeting up

they have teddy every weekend and holidays

they go for family lunch at the burrow every sunday

they manage to be vastly different and absurdly alike at the same time, as seamus once put out

they're soft and happy and comfortable and ridiculously in love

the fan base for this pair is so small and I don't even know their shipp name (I've read "pottbottom" somewhere but I don'tthink there's one single name for them ) however I am totally converted, give me all the harry x neville soft content

also, I obviously made a playlist cause nothing in my head functions without a soundtrack so here

[redworld96]

Nakaba Suzuki's interview from “Pair Sin: King & Diane Guidebook” talking about King, Diane and Howzer. (November 2018).

1. How did King and Diane come to be a couple?

Nakaba: Unlike Meliodas and Ban, I came up with King and Diane without planning to make them a couple from the beginning. The same Diane, for example, was at first unrequitedly in love with Meliodas. Then King appeared, and I decided that let him be unrequitedly in love with Diane, because it is interesting to look at the development of the relationship between the couple "fairy and giant". Well, that's what we came up with in the end. As you can see, these two are slightly different from the couples of previous guidebooks.

2. King is the king of the fairies, but compared to Meliodas and Ban, he acts cowardly and looks rather childish.

Nakaba: In a good way, he "didn't come out of childhood." Something like the lead of the seventh-eighth class: he seems to be responsible, and strives for leadership, but still a child inside.

3.He often suffers from doubts, I must say.

Nakaba: Of all the Seven Deadly Sins, he has perhaps the finest mental organization. Take, for example, the same Meliodas: his attitude towards his beloved and the strength of his feelings for her far exceed all reasonable limits. Well, maybe the point is that the rest of the "Sins" are just too arrogant, ha-ha!

4.Why is King showed as a fat man on the wanted list?

Nakaba: Apparently he was very nervous at first when he was in the Seven Deadly Sins. (King turns into a fat man when he's nervous)

5.These transitions from the appearance of an old man to a sweet boy are also not devoid of their charm.

Nakaba: Actually, my original idea was to make the "Sins" posters completely different from their real faces. During a discussion with the editor, there was a proposal to make his second look younger, but still settled on a fat man, because the contrast was stronger.

6.What about Diane? When I first saw her, I wondered if she was too big?

Nakaba: I decided to make her so big that she looked absolutely fantastic and unreal.

7.Her size is very noticeable when there are other characters nearby. What difficulties do you have to face while drawing her?

Nakaba: Usually, the camera angles are when Diane is looking at someone from above or when someone is looking at her from below, but there is no particular difficulty. Although it happens that another character is in the frame as a whole, and only a face from Diane, ha ha! But the same angles quickly become boring, so I introduced the shrinking pills into history. Well, a serious calm giantess would look intimidating, so I purposely gave her girly features and details in the costumes.

8.She hides her mouth with her hair very cute when she is embarrassed.

Nakaba: I remember that at school girls did the same when they were embarrassed. Perhaps, somehow unconsciously, I drew Diane with such habit.

9.Initially, Diane was unrequitedly in love with Meliodas, but were you going to make her a rival for Elizabeth?

Nakaba: The rivalry would have been if Meliodas reacted (or didn't) the same to both Elizabeth and Diane. Therefore, from the very beginning, I was not going to force Diane to get in between them - this is not a love comedy. But the unrequited love Diane turned out to be so touching and really liked the readers.

10.But Meliodas is still dear to Diane, right?

Nakaba: Yes, because he was the first person to treat her like a girl, and unfeminine girls like Diane are especially happy about that. Plus, he saved her.

11.Now tell us how Howzer came to be.

Nakaba: His best friend Gilthunder is exemplary handsome, so I wanted to do his complete opposite and gave Howzer a pompadour hairstyle and a bully personality.

12. Howzer is quite closely related to Diane, but he does not seem to show such obvious romantic sympathies ...

Nakaba: Right. Some people misinterpret his attitude. Howzer finds Diane very sweet, but even in his thoughts he has no intention of meeting her. Sometimes, looking at the merciful King and Diane, he will think something in the spirit of “Oh, lovebirds, eh!”. But his case is not at all the same as, for example, Jericho's towards Ban.

13. Recently, Howzer's pompadour has become more pronounced, it seems to me.

Nakaba: At first I drew him a pompadour-like hairstyle, but then there was a moment when Howzer appeared after a long break, and it was clearly in my memory that he had a full-fledged pompadour, and that's how it happened. But now it has become easier to draw it.

14. Howzer is surprisingly judicious in emergencies.

Nakaba: This is also in contrast to Gilthunder, who is usually reserved, but is noticeably aroused in battle. As you can see, this trait was appreciated by Howzer, since he was promoted right up to the Great Holy Knight.

15.Which of the three is easiest for you to draw, and who is more difficult?

Nakaba: Not that difficult, but I'm especially careful when painting King because he chooses who to talk to. Even in the group of The Seven Deadly Sins, he hardly interacts with anyone other than Diane. He's quite secretive and introverted, so I make sure these traits persist.

16.And in terms of drawing?

Nakaba: King is the most difficult. It all falls on the shoulders of my wife, ha ha!

17.What do you think is the beauty of King and Diane as a couple?

Nakaba: I think it’s their inexperience in this regard. There is no feeling of "family" among fairies and giants, which makes their relationship special; and many people like it, as far as I can tell.

18.And the proof is the number of scenes with an embarrassed and blushing King!

Nakaba: Well, yes, Meliodas harasses like some kind of pervert old man, and Ban cannot be embarrassed at all. But King has a pure and innocent heart, like the hero of a love comedy. His kiss’ scenes in general would be more suitable for any schoolboy, ha ha!

19. Diane sometimes puts King in her cleavage, without even thinking, and this makes him embarrassed even more often ...

Nakaba: Diane just doesn't think about men's opinions. I drew her keeping in mind the image of a sort of athletic elementary school girl. And for King I chose an eighth-grader boy, because it is in high school that they begin to have an active interest in the opposite sex. I think this difference creates the desired effect.

20.And Diane, meanwhile, had to endure twice the loss of memory.

Nakaba: After the battle in the capital, Diane began to slowly regain her memories of the past. At this rate, she would remember her feelings for King, and they would become a happy couple. But with their school-level love story, they would have stood out unfavorably against the background of Meliodas and Ban, and I didn't want that. Fortunately, I was just thinking of using Gowther in the plot, so I made him erase Diane's memory.

21.Gowther's act surprised many then!

Nakaba: Gowther's moves on Diane are the most effective. If he tried to use them on Meliodas, not only would he break off, but he would also get change in addition, haha! Well, then, when original Gowther returned her memory, it was Diane who best suited the role of the character who said the right words to him. In spite of everything, I think after the events of Volume 27, Diane, King and Gowther have developed a strong bond.

22.So, then everything will be smooth for them?

Nakaba: Somehow it’s not very satisfying to mock them even more, so I don’t think you should worry.

23.Which chapters with King and Diane do you like the most?

Nakaba: Probably the scene from Volume 27 when their feelings became mutual. I was finally able to breathe easy and stop worrying about this couple, which I have been drawing for so long.

24.The scenes where King rescues Diane are also pretty good.

Nakaba: In such scenes, he is always late, and someone already becomes a victim ... I myself, while drawing him, I think "Yes, hurry up, nice!"

25.Fukuyama Jun-san and Yuki Aoi-san (voice of King and Diane) noted in their interviews that they liked how Diane made one of her golems look like King during the Grand Tournament.

Nakaba: I think it was a manifestation of her love for King, which still remained in her despite her lost memory. Diane is honest, therefore she expresses her sympathy directly and openly. And King, on the contrary, monitors the reaction of the interlocutor and behaves accordingly. There is a little humanly ugly side on him, hehe. But that's what I like about him. Meliodas and Ban don't have that, so it's pretty interesting to draw.

26.If King and Diane get married, what kind of family life will they have?

Nakaba: I think they will always be that way and will be the same innocent and homely warm. Nobody will try to take a leading position. King is the king of the fairies, so he won't become henpecked either and at the right time he will be able to take matters into his own hands. But both will respect and take into account each other's opinions. Well, King will sometimes show off in front of Diane.

27.I can't wait to find out what kind of children they will have!

Nakaba: Well, you'll have to wait a little longer here ...

28.Any future wishes for King, Diane and Howzer?

Nakaba: My advice to King is not to be late anymore and protect Diane properly. To Diane, she can safely rely on King in everything. Well, good luck to Howzer as Great Holy Knight, ha ha! He is popular among readers, but in the story itself he does not have much success with girls. Hopefully he can find his lover. Personally, I think Guila would be good for him ... but I don't even know. Let him take his time in this search.

29.And finally, a few words to the readers!

Nakaba: The ending is approaching, the relationship is finally stabilizing. Well, you don't have to worry about King and Diane, they will be fine!

Sources: thesevendeadlysins-boarhat .com & Nanatsu no Taizai | Семь Смертных Грехов

[mediocre--writing]

The Only Aussie I’d Fuck

Luke Hemmings x Reader

Word Count: 3K

Summary: Luke’s girlfriend, Y/n, is a famous actress she’s been begging him to watch her show and he’s finally caving, watching with his band mates, but how will Luke feel at her and her co-star’s on-screen relationship?

Warnings: Despite the title, this isn’t smut, a few mentions of making out but no smut. 

All the boys sat crowded around the television as the screen was being switched from Cable to a streaming service.

It was unlikely that the boys would just sit around a TV when they weren’t touring, since they usually wanted to do things they weren’t allowed to on tour, like spend time with loved ones or, the least likely thing they would actually get to do on tour, have a good night's sleep. But this was a special occasion, Luke’s girlfriend, Y/n, had been practically begging him to watch her show for the past few months, and he wasn't ignoring his girlfriend, he just never really had the time to. 

She had wanted to watch it with him, something that she had expressed multiple times to him on the phone, but she was busy filming the next season of the show somewhere in the mid-western US, Nebraska, he thinks. It was some sort of horror/comedy/teen coming of age thing that she never really explained other than she was in it and alluded to him a time or two. 

Luke was immensely proud of her and all that she had accomplished, when they met in 2014, he never thought that they’d both become who they were today and they never imagined the relationship that grew between them, especially a healthy relationship, given their current occupations that set certain restrictions on their capabilities on getting together in person. 

They fit together well, where he was introverted to an extent, she would push him out of his comfort zone, and vice-versa depending on the situation. They both understood each other on different levels, they both had a really creative and artistic side, yet they also enjoyed the quiet peace of being home just laying in the quiet; sans Petunia’s toenails tapping on the hardwood floors as she roamed about the house aimlessly. 

All the boys settled in to watch, given they were all close to Y/n as well, for she had gone on the american leg of the Sounds Live, Feels Live and Meet You There tours with them and bonded with the boys, gaining three more friends, real friends, not some snobby stuck up bitches that she worked with regularly. These were normal, down to earth boys who understood more than money and fame and could take a joke. 

Luke snapped a picture of the screen and the boys and their load of snacks and sent it to Y/n, proof that he was actually, finally, watching it, something she’d been begging him to do for far too long. 

As the show loaded and began to play, Michael nudged Luke’s shoulder a few times as Y/n’s face came into view, showing her sitting in a classroom gnawing on the eraser part of her pencil. 

“Look at our girl” Ashton said as they all watched the screen with more attention than they ever gave at a business meeting.

The show was set in a private-school like setting, all the kids wearing white and navy blue uniforms. The whole scene had a white noise, disturbed only by the slamming of a book, which made Y/n’s head shoot up to look at the teacher. She had a kind of glare to her eyes as she stared at the older man, who looked very displeased at her attention focused on her daydreams rather than school. 

“Ms. Carter, what was I talking about a moment ago?” 

“Dinosaurs!” She said with confidence. 

“This is a calculus class, Ms. Carter, detention,” 

“Aye, Aye captain,” She saluted him, causing him to shoot her another glare as she smirked and high fived a few people around her. 

The scene changed as she was now walking through the hallways, towards a crowd around the bathrooms, “What’s up, Maggie, we watching people piss or something?” 

A girl, who Luke distantly remembers Y/n complaining about at some point, begins to speak, “There’s a new hot guy in the bathroom and some girl said that he’s from a different country.” 

“We live in fucking Nebraska, who the hell would move here? People move away from here, not to here.” 

“Just wait, I swear he had a weird voice!” Another girl said from the group. 

“Was it anything like yours? Because if so we may need to fumigate the place” Y/n snapped at her. “What’s his name? Or do you know nothing other than his ‘weird voice?’” 

After her statement, the boy came out to see the small group of seven-ish girls standing near the boys bathroom. 

“Hey you! What’s your deal?” Maggie yelled at the boy.

He turned, showing his TV-perfect face scrunched in confusion, “What'd ya mean?” 

“Where you from, why are you here, what's your deal?” Maggie spat at the poor boy who was blushing redder than a firetruck. 

“I’m Oliver Hunnington and I’m from Sydney, my dad got a job somewhere here and so I’m here too.” He shrugged, looking far too uncomfortable with the situation

“Sydney like as in Australia?” Maggie asked with a raised eyebrow, to which he nodded and ducked his head in embarrassment at the herd of girls staring at him like raw meat. 

Y/n’s character stepped up with a hand held out to him, “I’m Savannah Carter, and you look like you’re about to shit your pants so do you need help finding your classes or are you just generally terrified of women?” 

The boys chuckled at the statement, thinking of how Y/n had said something similar to Luke the first time they met, the boy was blushing so bad he looked ready to pass out.

“Little bit of both, not gonna lie,” He chuckled, to which she grabbed his hand, looked him in the eyes with a smirk, and led him down the hallway, the girls hooting after them, Y/n turning to playfully glare at them.

The first episode just established the basic plot, it ending with a threatening scene of some gloved hands cleaning a bloody hammer as screaming is heard in the background, the end credits rolling as the next episode begins to load. 

The show was good, it wasn’t like the cringy ones that have creepy staring contests that were meant to be intimate, and the comedy wasn’t forced, it was just generally sarcastic, and it was actually enticing to watch, not just another boring Riverdale-type knockoff. 

Y/n’s character had made a few flirty remarks at Oliver, mostly jokes about eating him alive if he’d let her and asking him if he’d ever done...things with girls, which were awkward scenes but funny nonetheless.

She had teasingly trailed her fingers down his neck and shoulders a few times. There have been a few make-out scenes between her and a few other characters, most of them being guys though there was a point when she kissed Maggie, but those scenes only caused mild discomfort for the boys, three of which had been eyewitnesses to her and Luke’s make-out sessions every once and awhile. 

Her character was so different from the Y/n they knew, Y/n was kind and soft and would bake them cookies when she felt like it and she would never force anyone to do anything. Her character, Savannah, however, was sexual and not at all the socially anxious Y/n they all knew too well, Savannah had an air about her that couldn’t be ignored and practically begged for attention. 

They were on the seventh episode, they were gonna end on the fifth but they got intrigued by the plot and decided “just one more” which was really just an excuse, though they knew none of them wanted to actually stop the next episode from playing. 

The show is all about a person who is going around and hurting people, but never killing them, just slow torture, but you don’t know who they are and nobody can figure it out, and one of the characters involved with the main characters in the first episode was attacked by the masked person, so they all get involved; Savannah, Maggie, Oliver, and the other, more minor, characters in the show. 

Another character, Jess, an innocent girl who was a class below them and looked up to Savannah to guide her, so she became like a little sister and helped them all figure things out because she was really smart. 

Oliver and Savannah got really close too. She would always make sexual jokes at him and make him uncomfortable just so she could see him blush and have his hair fall over his face as he looked down in embarrassment. 

The scene the boys were at now consisted of them being at a party, Y/n’s character and Jess being in a bedroom looking for anything suspicious, while they talked idly. 

“Do you ever worry what this all could mean for your future?” Jess asked.

“What do you mean?” Savannah asked, stopping her searching and leaning on the bed.

“Like what if something happens and things go wrong and… i don't know what if someone thinks we are the ones doing… all this?” 

“Listen honey, I hate to tell you this, but my only goal in life is to get that cute little Aussie downstairs to pin me down by my neck and fuck me so hard that I can taste it, so if you’re asking me for advice about the future and shit, I’m really no help at all, kid,” Y/n’s character said with a smirk as she returned to looking for whatever she was looking for before. 

Calum, who had just been taking a sip of water, choked on it as all the boys looked up to Luke, who was staring wide eyed at the TV with a prominent blush across his cheeks. 

Michael and Ashton, who had moved to the floor in front of Luke and Cal on the couch somewhere between the third and fourth episode, were wiggling their eyebrows while Calum turned around and rubbed his hands over his back as if he were making out with someone, making Luke flush even more than before. 

A weak “Stop,” could be heard but the boys just laughed at Luke as they returned to the show. 

They ended up finishing the series that night, since there were only 11 episodes and they had to finish it then or else they would never be able to find the time to sit and actually finish it. 

It ended with Y/n’s character being attacked by the masked killer guy, but surviving and finding out that it was Jess’ dad who was behind the attacks, and he was manipulating Jess to get information on people going against him.

Savannah and Oliver ended up having their little moment, which gave the boys another reason to make jokes at Luke. 

The scene consisted of her grabbing his silky looking shirt and pulling his face to hers, whispering, “Is that a telephone pole in your pants or are you just happy to see me?” 

“Well maybe I was promised a chance at something and now I finally have the perfect moment to get it.” 

“Then come get it, we don’t have all day,”

He shoved her into the wall by her hips and reached a hand up to her neck, “We have as long as we want,” 

She smirked and the scene was moved to an overview of the city, turning into a map, then a big, red X was placed over the house that it had zoomed away from, then the credits rolled. 

The boys decided that, since it was roughly 4 am anyways, that they’d all just stay the night, especially since they were gonna meet at Luke’s and have brunch together the next day anyway. 

Ashton and Michael ended up knocking out on the floor, Calum curled up in a chair and Luke took the couch. 

--

The sun rose only a few hours after they had fallen asleep, which didn’t disturb their sleep in the slightest, but the knocking on the door sure did. 

KayKay and Crystal had been knocking on the door for at least ten minutes before Crystal tried to call Michael, who didn’t answer, so she called Luke, then Ashton, but neither of them answered either. 

Calum was woken up by the buzzing of their phones, so when his phone rang, he answered with a groggy voice, and had to pull the phone away from his ear at the sound of excited squeals, “Thank God!” Crystal said, “Let us in, we've been here for half an hour and it's COLD!” 

Calum chuckled as he walked to answer the door, kicking Michael and Ashton’s backs as he walked by, causing them to stir in their sleep. 

Cal let the girls in and the other boys woke up soon after, getting semi-ready for their brunch, which was looking to be more of a lunch as they took forever to wake up and get ready-- the boys claimed it was payback because the girls always took far to long to get ready.

The boys told KayKay and Crystal about how they finally watched Y/n’s show, to which they made a few remarks of “What took you so long?” and “Isn’t it great?!” and “Damn, I wanted to watch Luke’s face when she made the Aussie jokes at Oliver!” 

When they finally were about ready to leave, there was a knocking on the door, each of them looking around in question since their whole group was already here. 

Given it was Luke’s place, and he was still getting ready, they had a silent debate on who would get the door before Crystal’s eyes widened almost comically and she shot up to go to the door. 

Michael made a face at her as if asking “What the fuck?” but made no verbal response to her actions until there was loud squealing heard from the door. 

Luke came down the stairs as the guys rounded the corner to see the door when they saw Crystal jumping and hugging someone--Y/n.

Luke came the rest of the way down the stairs and shoved through his friends, towards his girlfriend, and picked her up just moments after she had escaped Crystal’s death grip. 

“Hi Bubs,” She whispered into his curly hair, which made him hold her even tighter than he was before, Crystal had taken a secret picture of the couple hugging (which would soon become Luke’s phone wallpaper). 

The hug lasted a bit longer than it should have, but they hadn’t seen each other in person for over four months, so the rest of the group ignored it for now, especially since they were just hugging and not having a fun little make out-sesh in front of them like they had a tendency to do every now and then. 

Luke set her down and looked into her eyes, which were filled with happy tears that had yet to fall, “When did you get back?” 

“I took the weekend off to come see you because I don’t have to work until Tuesday next week and I really wanted to see you and then you sent me the text last night and I wanted to watch the show with you even if it was cringy for me. Then I realized that I really, really needed to see you and so I booked a plane ticket and it left at like four this morning and I’m really tired but I'm here and I’m with you.”  Y/n barely breathed as she explained herself, but Luke just fell more and more in love with her, if that was possible.

Luke put his hands against her jaw as if he was going to kiss her but he just looked into her eyes and smiled, a big toothy grin that took up his whole face and made her smile too, tears dripping down her cheeks freely now as they hugged again. 

After their hug, he invited her to come to brunch with them unless she was too tired, in which he would stay at home with her, but she agreed to go to brunch because she hasn’t eaten in almost 12 hours and “might drop dead of hunger soon” if she didn’t eat soon. 

They went to a smaller cafe for a lunch/brunch thing where half of them got waffles and the others got hamburgers or pasta. 

They joked and laughed for a few hours, basking in being together as a group for the first time in forever. The boys recounted tales of touring that the girls may have missed and also complimented Y/n on the show they finally watched, to which she shoved her head into Luke’s shoulder in embarrassment, but thanked them nonetheless. 

They all hugged Y/n, as it would likely be the last time they’d see her that weekend, then they all drove to their respective homes. 

--

When Luke and Y/n got inside, Luke grabbed her waist from behind as she squealed, “Put me down, Bubs!” 

He ignored her and just walked up the stairs to his room and threw her onto the bed, causing her to squeal again. 

“So are you saying that you don’t want me, a hot Aussie, to pin you down by the throat and fuck you?” She groaned, not an erotic groan but one of annoyance as she looked up at Luke who was also giggling at her reaction. 

“I hate you! I really do! I really, really hate you! I swear to god, Hemmings, I can not stand you!” Her cheeks became hot as she shoved her head into the pillows.

Luke just giggled as he laid down next to her and pulled her in by the waist and cuddled into her like a koala, “I love you, you know that?” 

“Matter of fact I do know that, and I love you too,” She said, “but I don’t love you when you use my character’s dialogue against me, hurts my heart a little bit, not gonna lie,”

He pushed his bottom lip out in a pout, “Well I’m sorry, how bout we cuddle then we can just watch something on TV or nap, because I’m not gonna lie, I didn’t fall asleep til after 5 and you had an early flight, so I feel like i’m gonna crash soon.” 

“Fine by me, bubs,” She took a deep breath, inhaling the way he smelled as if it were the last time she would be with him and she snuggled her face into his chest a bit more, electing a giggle from him, “Fine by me.”

“I’m still the only hot Aussie you want to fuck though, right?” Luke asked quietly, looking down at her.

“Of course you are, you’re the only Aussie I’d want to fuck, you big baby,” 

They both giggled for another moment and Y/n drifted to sleep, soft snores coming from her parted lips as Luke could almost see the small velvet box sitting in his underwear drawer that he couldn’t wait to give her soon, really soon.