#hating him is fine!! just hate him for normal reasons!!!

[writerdownbookworder]

“What’re you doing here?” I mumble over my shoulder. Although I’m not looking, I know without a doubt who it is.

Ray sighs. “Look, for what it’s worth, I’m sorry.”

“Not worth much,” I say, staring at the picture of my partner, framed and unnatural. She never would have wanted this. Her family didn’t know her anymore, why were they allowed to make these choices?

A groan behind me finally makes me turn. Ray stands there with his arms crossed, full disguise. I stare at him so long - not thinking much of anything, just numb - that I startle when he clears his throat.

“How long are you going to mope like this, Saga?”” He uses my code name, although I’m not dressed in my usual clothes. I didn’t take much care with my disguise today, just throwing on my mask and hood over dark clothes for the funeral.

I look away. “”If you came here to fight, let’s just get it over with. I’m not in the mood today.”

He sighs again. Why does he keep doing that? “I’m not here to fight. I’m here to pay my respects. I know you and Kya were close.”

“It’s my fault,” I whisper, turning back to the picture. She wasn’t just my partner, she was my best friend. I knew she was still a newbie, and I told her to go by herself. I thought she could handle it. 

By the time I got there, it was too late.

“Hey,” Ray says gently, shocking me. “It wasn’t your fault. I was there, remember? No one could have predicted that a normal everyday occurrence would turn so violent.” 

It was true. Ray had been there, for the same reason I was. Our fight had traveled several blocks and we happened to chance upon the scene. My fight with Ray had been forgotten as I rushed to Kya’s aid, and until this moment, I had forgotten he had been there at all.

I start walking toward the door, unable to stay a moment longer. 

Ray follows me. “It’s okay to be sad, Saga.”

I stubbornly ignore him.

He rolls his eyes behind me and I scoff. “You know I can see you. Why do you insist on being rude anyway?”

He grins. “It’s what I do best. I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

“Argh!” I whip around to face him, face red with anger. Ray actually takes a step back. “I am not okay! My rookie died because of something I told them to do! My best friend is gone because I wasn’t there for her! And worst of all, she never got the chance to do anything she wanted to do! She was only 19…” My voice trails off with a sob.

Ray opens his mouth, but I cut him off. “No, you know what’s worse? You, coming here, to her funeral to mock me. Follow me, fight me, yell at me to your heart's content, but don’t sit here and mock me by pretending you care about Kya or my feelings!”

“Fine!” he snaps back, finally losing his temper. “I’ll tell you the truth if you want!”

I throw my hands up in frustration. “What I really want is for you to leave me alone, but go ahead!”

Ray’s voice drops back down in volume, slightly lower than his regular speaking tone, his voice shaking slightly with anger. “I’m not pretending anything. I may not have known Kya much at all, but I do know that on the few occasions I saw her, she seemed to be a genuinely good and happy person.”

“Why do you-”

“I’m not finished!” he snaps, before continuing again. “As for you, I do know you. I knew you would blame yourself, I knew you would be upset and sad, I knew that you would be here, and I knew you would stay long after everyone else left. I know you. Your feelings haven’t been a mystery to me for years! 

“The truth is, I know who you are.” He doesn’t meet my eyes as he says it. “Inside, outside, underneath the mask and hood. You aren’t a mystery to me. I honestly thought you would recognize me long before now.”

I stare at him, unable to speak, trying to understand what he is telling me. “You-”

Ray looks up into my eyes, voice soft. “Emma.”

He slowly pulls off the mask, revealing the one face I didn’t expect to see.

The one that equal parts of me hated and loved, unable to decide between desire and defense. Part of me never wanted to see him again, had hoped he died.

Part of me was so relieved that I wanted to cry.

I chose the latter.

your a super Villian/super hero who's partner just died. When the funeral was supposed to be attended, nobody came, except for one person, your arch nemesis, who came there to comfort you through these tough times

[detta-pica]

By the time they’ve arrived, they are both drenched in sweat. The humid heat clings like an evil, suffocating wet blanket. Suguru is still distracted with the case files, so Satoru manages to slip into the bathroom first for a quick shower. When he emerges, in boxers and a thin t-shirt, Suguru’s heart lodges in his throat. Normally, he’d be mesmerised by the glistening skin and droplets of water trickling from Satoru’s white hair. Now, Suguru can’t tear his eyes away from the scars marring Satoru’s right thigh, the side of his throat. Satoru, of course, catches him staring. “Hey--” “Sorry.” Suguru looks away. Horrifyingly, his eyes prickle with gathering tears. “Sorry. I’ll be right out.” He goes to brush past Satoru and into the bathroom. “No.” Satoru grabs him by the arm, jerks him back a step. “You don’t get to look at me like I’m fucking--I don’t know. Broken. Then run away! Stop being a coward and just--” “I’m sorry.” Suguru can’t make himself meet his gaze. It’s enough that he can taste Satoru’s too-hot caramel discomfort and burning pineapple hurt. “I’m trying. I know you’re--” He waves his free hand restlessly. “Okay. I know that.” “Great! So act like it.” “I don’t--it’s not as easy as just deciding to do that. For the longest two hours of my life, I thought you were dead, so--” “So you’re gonna treat me like I’m weak just because--” “No!” Suguru faces him, finally, sees the reddened skin around his eyes. He wants to shake Satoru until he sees reason, and he wants to kiss him until he forgets what it means to be hurt. Suguru gives into the urge to touch, curling his fingers in Satoru’s collar, knuckles brushing against scar tissue. “No. You’re the strongest person I know.” As if to prove Suguru’s point, Satoru bridges the gap between them for real, wrapping his hand around Suguru’s wrist, skin to skin. “It’s easier to be strong when you’re here to back me up.” Suguru almost gives in. Almost lets himself drown in those blue eyes, almost leans in to see whether Satoru’s aura tastes different right at its source. Suguru wants to cradle Satoru close and explain to him that Suguru’s trauma has nothing to do with who Satoru is as a person, and everything to do with the shit they’ve both gone through. That Suguru would love him weak, but hopes, for Satoru’s sake, to never know what that’s like. “I am here,” Suguru says instead. “Maybe I’m the one that’s weak, you ever thought of that? Since I haven’t been able to shake this like you have.” Satoru recoils a little, eyes round and wet. He doesn’t let go. “That’s stupid. It’s like you said--no one’s helping us with this shit. We’re on our own. But that’s fine, right? Who else would we need?” His hope is always so ephemeral, spun sugar melting into nothing on Suguru’s tongue in seconds. Suguru hates the world so much in this moment, he feels like it’s going to spill out of him and stain anyone who touches him. It’s a struggle to transfer the ugly feelings to his familiar, Dragon, and keep his aura free of whatever incriminating colours and shapes Satoru would be able to see. “Yeah,” Suguru says, meaning it. “We’ll handle it.”

A snippet from a prequel fic in the stsg witchcraft AU. I'm a little unsure about the characterisation here, but the AU is a softer one, without all the violence of canon, so hopefully it makes sense that Satoru and Suguru can't hide their feelings from each other/pretend their feelings away as easily as in the manga.

[sporkberries]

Why do twitter people act like you have to either be a tim fan or a stephcass fan? I love stephcass and i love cass’s annoying little brother don’t see how that contradicts

[ancha-aus]

Perfectly reasonable! Crying yourself to sleep. that is a normal and healthy response :)

Nightmare HATES himself for hating his life. He has everything anyone would and could wish for. He knows. he sees it. Cross needs to work a very dangeruos job to get his money. Killer needs to steal just to eat. Horror needs to hunt his own food. and Dust is also working fulltime and clearly barely has enough to get by. nightmare doens't have any of these struggles. Not even close to it. But he hates his life. the only thing he doens't hate is Dream. but he feels bad because Dream always has to deal with his bullshit and him dodging the wedding stuff.

(dream knows already, or at least bits). he knows that nightmare doesn't want to marry. but each time he brings it up nightmare just mentions it is about his duties. not what he wants. which is BULLSHIT because nightmare is fine with Dream doing whatever he wants! Dream is READY to be a menace. Just give him the word. Dream is a menace and he BITES)

the fact hsi self hatred takes the form of his mother says enough. says everything you need. but eventually. as he relaxes that voice gets softer. it doesn't disappear. but when he is near the others it goes quiet for a little while (same as when he is with dream) and nightmare loves them all the more for it. be may not lvoe himself but he hates himself less when he is with them.

and the guys love the real nightmare. the one who is sassy and a nerd and sometime smug adn bossy in what he wants from them. they love him so much and those nobels are idiots for not liking him. becuase he is AMAZING

Time Travelers AU - The Night Sky Is Filled With Gay Thoughts

This one is shorter than the other chapters but I really felt like Nightmare's gay panic deserved its own chapter lmao

First

Prev

Next

@ancha-aus your seat is reserved

We entering Nightmare's bitch arc ya'll

Tw: some slightly suggestive talk but nothing serious happens, self hatred of course as I am physically unable to write about Nightmare without adding angst

The moon was so high in the sky, everyone was sleeping. Everyone one except Nightmare, he had been unwell all day, since Horror came back from his hunt, he had found himself spacing out, not responding to either Killer nor Dust when they tried talking to him, having trouble concentrating enough to translate, and totally unable to look at Horror in the eyesockets. Now he was laying on his back, on the couch, staring at the ceiling.

What happened ? He had felt weird all afternoon, starting when Horror came back. He should have been horrified, the Viking came back covered in blood, holding a dead body on his shoulder, his stained weapon still in his hand. It has truly been an unsettling sight to see. He had put his axe, his blood stained axe, right next to Nightmare, and he had looked at him, planting his gaze in his, and Nightmare couldn't look anywhere else. Had he been scared ? Of course he had been scared, what kind of brute brought back his pray like that ? Still dripping with blood and without washing at least his hands ? But, he felt something new when his gaze met Horror's gaze...

He saw this brute, this man, holding a full corpse on his shoulder like it was a feather, covered in sweat and blood that wasn't his, his large hands holding an axe that looked no less heavy but that he manipulated with ease. And he felt his soul burn. He didn't know if his cheeks blushed, but he felt his whole body become hotter. When Horror left to cook he didn't know what to do, and Killer's staring at him with his grin didn't help him sort out his thoughts.

He couldn't think at all for the whole day, not participating in conversations during meals, he did his best not to look at the Viking, not to think about his hands, damaged by a hard life, about his muscular arms that could brobaly break him in half if he wanted to, hold him down and he wouldn't be able to move.

Nightmare shifted on the couch, turning his back to the living room, thinking about Horror above him and holding him down surprisingly didn't help calm his already racing soul.

Why did he feel so hot when thinking about the giant ? He shouldn't feel that way, Horror was a Viking, a brute who's only passtime was pillaging villages, killing men and kidnapping women for their own pleasure, there was nothing admirable in that. Really, thinking about Horror entering his home, breaking his belongings and take him away to keep him as a prize, a trophy, was truly terrifying. And yet he felt his face burn at the thought of being taken by him, preciously kept away as a fancy war prize for only Horror to touch and see.

That wasn't right. Horror could kill him, or worse, he could do unspeakable horrors to him, make him uffer, torture him mentally and physically, then tend to his wounds to ensure he wouldn't die, keep him safe from other pillagers, dress him with riches to show off to the other Vikings, tell him he is his and his alone, that no one else would ever put their filthy hands on him...

Nightmare got up. He needed water. He went to the bathroom, feeling like he would faint at any moment with the heat in his body. He watched the water flow for a few seconds before taking some in his hands to splash on his face until he felt cooler. He stayed bent over the sink for a while before standing straight and looking at himself in the mirror. His brother would probably laugh if he was there. Seriously, how pathetic could he be ? Losing his composure like that like he was some young lady fresh out of the coven discovering what temptation was ? He shouldn't feel that way ! He was a noble man ! He went back to lay on the couch.

He had a future planned for him, he couldn't allow himself to be distracted like that, he had to marry a noble woman, a lady with the same rank as him, and give her kids to ensure the continuity of his prestigious bloodline. That was what every noble did, that was what his mother did, what she had told him to do before passing away. He had to marry someone rich and full of virtue, love wasn't even on the table, you didn't marry out of love. His mother didn't marry out of love, there had never been any love in anything she had done, from marrying to having children, she had done everything because it was her purpose as a noble woman, not once had she felt any love for them, for her husband for whom she didn't cry at his funeral and for her two children whom she always let her servants take care of. That was just how things were supposed to work. That was what Nightmare, and Dream, were supposed to do, their glorious future.

And yet he found himself dreaming for more, dreaming of love, passion, of someone to hold tight and to be held tight by, someone to tell him he would be okay, that he didn't have to marry anyone he didn't want to, that he could let his heart chose. He tried so hard to make the wedding happen as late as possible, finding excuses to refuse the many proposals he received. He was so scarred of marriage. He didn't know why it scarred him so much, he knew he would still be free, that it was only for business purposes, that he wouldn't have to pretend to love his wife and she wouldn't have to pretend to love him either, but he would still have obligations that came with marriage. Children were a big part of this. He didn't dislike children, but he knew he would have to be intimate, he wasn't stupid, he knew how that worked, but he couldn't imagine himself doing.... that, with a woman... It was right but it felt wrong, it was the natural order of things but it didn't feel natural to him. Sure he could lie and say either him or his wife was infertile and that was why they couldn't have children, but lying about that wouldn't bring any good to their reputation, and reputation was important. No, he couldn't lie, but he couldn't do that either. It just didn't feel right...

And when he saw Horror bent over him, when he imagined him holding him, taking him away from everything he knew and making him his... everything had felt so right, so natural. He wanted him, he wanted him so bad. He didn't want to marry a woman, but he wanted to be Horror's prize, he wanted to be his precious thing, he wanted him to rock his world and softly kiss him, to tell him he could have hundreds just like him but he was the only one for him. He wanted this wicked romance. He wanted the harsh and he wanted the soft. Horror was soft. Soft and patient. He was careful around them, respected boundaries, brought back food, didn't have any vile intentions, he was only looking to care for them, for Dust particularly, as he was their unfortunate host with not enough means to provide for everyone. He was a gentle giant. A gentle giant with great strenght. Nightmare wanted that.

He hated himself for wanting that. His mother would have hated him too if she was still alive. She had always hated him anyways. He shouldn't feel that. It wasn't proper for a noble. He was such a disgrace, a pathetic excuse of a noble, no wonder he always felt out of place among his pairs, he couldn't do things right, he couldn't even feel right.

He grabbed a pillow to press it against his chest, laying down facing the back of the couch. He wanted to dissapear, to go back home and never see any of them ever again, to talk to his brother, Dream always knew what to do, he was always right, never out of place, he was everything Nightmare wasn't. But he wasn't there, and Nightmare was alone to face these atrocious feelings.

He hated it. He hated Horror for making him feel so good and so bad at the same time and he hated himself for allowing these feelings to take roots in his soul and for feeding them with his overthinking.

He just hated himself so much right now. He hated how he felt and he hated that he was crying again. It was the only thing he was good at sometimes. Crying.

He was pathetic.

[skrunksthatwunk]

thinking about when guts sent a bunch of his men directly into zodd's meat grinder without even knowing demons like him existed. and that moment after the fight where casca runs to griffith unconscious on the floor and tells guts it's all his fault. and the time gambino tells him he's bad luck and should have died instead. and about how he tells griffith he cares about his men, and how casca doesn't seem to see it. and the time guts is thinking about casca telling him it's all his fault (after he got griffith hurt) and then griffith comes to him and says (like it's nothing) do i need to give a reason every time i come to save you? or whatever. like he's worth it. like he's worth dying for, and like it can be a choice people make because they value you. like he's a good luck charm, like griffith needs him to reach his goals, his full potential. like griffith is not enough to make it without him. like griffith finds out when guts leaves. fuckin.g gnawing someone else's legs off because i still need mine to run into traffic

[bandzboy]

it’s so insane how some of the ot6 fans are reacting to the news of seunghan coming back because i think for a while, they really thought they won. they thought he was gonna be another idol who was gonna get kicked out for doing normal human shit that for some reason, bothers them to the core. things he did PRE DEBUT were bothersome to this people.

but then, he came back. if it wasn’t for the members constantly supporting him behind the scenes and the fans who were constantly reminding sm that they cared about him and wanted him back then maybe this wouldn’t happen and it’s truly sad to think how these crazy fans who have no life almost controlled the narrative yet again.

i am glad seunghan was not another victim of this. it must have taken a lot of courage and self determination to continue despite being slandered by the media and the ot6 fans and also other kpop stans. all of this to say, that i hope another situation like this doesn’t happen again. it’s too normal in this industry to punish idols for being human but i hope this starts a shift in the right direction

[kkujo]

something i don't see people talking about is the way hyperfixations come in like stages and cycles like it's not just "i'm obsessed with this thing" it's like. euphoria from finding something new and it brings you so much joy and then as that initial dopamine rush wears off you start to get more and more down and feel isolated as you start to realise that no one else cares about it as much as you do and you feel silly for being so into it and the thoughts become repetitive and boring so you get more and more depressed and lonely and then you inevitably lose the hyperfix which leaves you drifting feeling miserable and hopeless until you start the cycle again. idk if i explained this well or if other people will understand but it brings genuine phases of euphoria and straight up depression and this is why i get annoyed when neurotypicals use words like hyperfixation to describe like, an interest. bc it's not. just an interest it becomes who you are and when you lose it it's like losing yourself and you spend so much energy thinking about it that it interrupts your daily life and it's so fucking draining 👍

[vampyroteuthid]

came home to snow!! also at least half a dozen piles of cat vomit on the rug and various bovine parts growing botulism in the fridge. really cool

[wizardnuke]

yalls tags on the caleb astrid post are all SO spot on thank you for understanding the uh. canon that was given to us. not saying that anyone doesnt. but i am.

[hydrodragons]

sparkle making my dan heng hit almost 300k in moc of all places that's NUTS

[shalvis]

Xenoblade 1 is the best game like ever fucking made and it has two of the most dogshit sequels ever fucking made

[running-in-the-dark]

oh, I see. it's one of those nights.

[livvyofthelake]

men will call your cell phone at 8:30pm instead of texting you apparently

[dashiellqvverty]

everyone always wants to talk about jenny nicholsons video essays and i’m like does ANYONE want to talk about the art of the mattress aka the sleep song. bc it plays in my head every time i see anything about her.

[aahsoka]

solidified my dislike of a*i ast*r fans seeing a commenter say he is better than ‘those hacks’ jordan peele and james wan……….

[the-somwthing]

oh god I reached tag limit. Dear god. Should I make my own post or are my takes in the tags god awful and I should’ve kept them to myself 😭

(also I mistakenly said clethubs instead of cledubs cuz it flows better, ignore me Etho has nothing to do with any of this)

ok now that im watching scotts pov i can finally make the poll i want