#haso writing

[x-hyzenthlay-x]

Humans are fucked up/death worlders/space orcs because we invented the chainsaw to shove up a woman’s vagina during child birth. It’s barbaric to say the least and I’m sure aliens are probably MORTIFIED at all of the medical treatments we used to use or probably even still use to this day!

A lot of our medicine is dangerously close to poison and there’s a fine line between what’s helpful and what isn’t which I find to be fascinating. It’s intriguing how we went from natural remedies to artificially produced copies. It certainly helps remedy things like deforestation or the need for live animals. Like how certain types of venom from snakes and bees can destroy certain illnesses that would otherwise be a death sentence.

Imagine telling an alien “oh yeah I just got stung by a swarm of killer bees and my body used it to cure me of Lyme disease”

They’re just standing/floating/sitting there like

😃 excuse me?

It’ll be even worse if you tell them we still use electric shock therapy to this day and insane asylums were still available up until like the 1980’s (technically the last one closed in 2015 and the mass closing of them only started in the 1980’s)

(Also the vagina chainsaw was last used in the 1980’s :’) and most women did not survive. Many were displayed on stage infront of an audience while being butchered without any anesthetic. I don’t recommend looking up the survivor stories. It’s truly heart breaking how little the medical field cares about afabs even to this day to be honest.)

Master list

[whossuzy]

If i ever meet an alien i want them to draw me - imagine, someone not knowing (or having complitely different then) human biology and beauty standarts drawing a person. Maybe the limbs being too long, maybe the eyes having a predatory gaze (even if u were posing for a second hour, barely not falling asleep) maybe the hair looking different or colors matching ur body temperature

There's also that their forms of art could be different! Maybe instead of sculpting they would put on shiny gems and rocks, maybe instead of drawing with solid graphite they could draw with non drying liquid or making stuff best viewed in 5D?

idk i want to see art perceived in nonhuman way.

[callum-librrry]

Stripes

Tom was sent to greet a new temporary crew member. Riggs provided him with a brief overview of the alien. They were a Chendro, some sort of insect-like species from a few systems away.

Tom greeted the alien in the same, boring, but safe way,

“Greetings. Welcome aboard the Starship Navis. My name is Tom, I am the human navigator sent to meet you and acquaint you with the ship before we leave.”

The alien let out a series of clicks which was translated moments later.

“Thank you, human Tom. I am quite pleased to be working with you for these next few cycles.” The alien followed with an intricate bow that Tom had no way of reciprocating. He settled for a respectful nod of the head.

The two wandered around the Navis, with Tom occasionally breaking the silence to point out a few key landmarks or an odd, obscure rule.

Eventually, Tom felt the Chendro’s gaze on him. In fact, he realised, he had felt it for quite a while now. He glanced over to see they’re mantis-like eyes locked on him.

“Hey man, I don’t want to sound rude or anything but staring is kinda considered rude to us,” Tom pointed out.

“Oh!” The alien quickly averted their gaze. “My apologies, I was simply admiring your wonderful patterning.”

“My... what?”

“Your stripes,” The Chendro clarified. “I think they’re quite stunning.”

Tom looked away, surprisingly flustered by the alien’s openness. 

“Umm...Thanks...” He didn’t have the heart to ask the alien what they were talking about. Perhaps it was a human thing he wasn’t aware of. Having secret stripes wouldn’t be the weirdest thing he’d learnt about his species.

The rest of the tour went well after that. Tom noticed that the Chendro kept it’s eyes away from him; usually straight in front if them. He appreciated the alien’s willingness to adapt to what was probably to them, a weird social convention.

Later, once the tour was done and Tom was settled in his quarters he asked Constance the question that had been burning in his mind for a good portion of the cycle.

“Hey, Constance?”

“Yes Tom?”

“Do humans have stripes?”

“Humans do have what is called Blaschko's lines. They are only visible to humans in rare cases but are seen to those with vision in the ultraviolet range. Is that what you’d be referencing?”

“Huh. I guess...” Tom was surprised by the information. Why the hell had he never heard of humans having stripes? He felt like he would’ve picked up on that in biology. But yet again he could have been asleep for that particular lesson.

“Constance, are Chendro able to see UV?”

“Yes.”

“Ah, ok. That answers a lot actually. Thanks for the help.”

“It was my pleasure, Tom.”

Tom continued to sit there for a while contemplating this new information. He even found a few pictures of visible stripes. He could relate to the Chendro then. They were pretty cool. And to think that every human had patterns like that.

[nerdybluephoenix]

[uncorrect-writings]

Humanity is the first ever life in the universe, in billions of years other civilazations will look back at how we are right now in awe and admiration, we are the ancients, we are like gods for the those who don't yet exist

[transman-badass]

I haven't done anything with it for a while but I still love humans are space orcs fiction. The concept appeals to me. In a lot of sci-fi fiction, aliens tend to be stronger, faster, better than humans. Sometimes it's to give the humans a challenge to overcome, sometimes it's just life. Maybe it says something about how a lot of us feel small and helpless right now, how we want a power fantasy where we're the heroes, where we save the universe, where we, in all our diversity, are changing things, for good or bad.

Anyway I woke up today to a fading dream and a burning need to write space orcs style humans vs an alien like Frieza from Dragonball Z. I know nothing about this character and DBZ other than scattered memories of watching the show on toonami and various memes I run into on my dash. I wouldn't want to write a fanfic crossover anyway. If I did this this character would be just inspired by him, I guess...

If I did this, I don't know if I will. Lordy knows how much else I have on my plate. But I'm gonna be thinking about this for a while...

[leonieweird]

Sweater Weather

Human Jo’an was weird.

I couldn’t determine whether it was human weird or just Human Jo’an weird. She was rushing around, tripping over her own feet, and having more injuries than normal.

“Human Jo’an, what is that in your hand?” I asked. The human did that thing where they freeze like a little ickchay. I couldn’t help that my wings bristled in amusement.

She looked over her shoulder, short hair covering of of her eyes as her arms shielded something behind her. My “feet” clicked against the floor of our spaceship, my wings folding in on each other. “Really?” She nodded, her lips pursing to the side to try and make an innocent expression.

It only made her look more guilty.

“Human Jo’an, I have known you since I hatched out of my egg. We have been together through a lot. I can tell when you are hiding something.” For good measure, I opened up my wings. A tactic usually for making predators intimidated, but Human Jo’an always said it made me look, and I quote, “devious”.

“Arth.” My name that Human Jo’an gave me since she could not pronounce my real name. “Would I ever lie to you? Or-“ I cut her off. “That time on the Planet Nerthimplf, you said you couldn’t speak the language of the predators there, yet you are now hailed as their surrogate queen.

“I just mimicked their sounds. The translator didn’t pick up their language correctly. So, technically, I did not lie to you.” Human Jo’an straightened up, keeping the item behind her back. Though from this angle, I could see cloth.

“My point is I would never lie to you in a way that would put you in danger. This behind my back? It’s nothing.” She tried to shrug her shoulders to show that it was in fact nothing, but from the way I could hear her heart speed up was different. My head cocked to the side, wings spreading more in amusement.

“If it is not a big issue, why can’t you show me?” Human Jo’an coughed, eyes looking to the side. “Human Jo’an.” She sighed, and then rolled her eyes, and then groaned. Her face changed into many different emotions, all ones I have seen before. Human Jo’an was embarrassed.

My wings closed in on themselves, the feathers puffing up in what Human Jo’an described as wing laughter. I felt like laughing. “I will not judge you on what you have. I am not that kind of species.” Human Jo’an nodded and then brought her hands to the front.

My foot tapped against the floor, wings flapping in uncontrollably excitement. It was what the humans called a sweater, however this one was a little ragged and had tiny holes in them. The words were in a messy text of my homeland language translating to “Yeah I survived a predator, so what?” I assume it was to reference many of our adventures where I had almost died to a predator.

Human Jo’an observed my expression, a smile making its way onto her face as I expressed with my body language rather than my words. I was elated and so was Human Jo’an.

I was now 13 earth years old, and received my first sweater crafted by the hands of my caretaker. I was elated.

[do-not-burn]

All Tomorrows: A Brief Fixation

Today I indulged myself by exploring the bottomless pit of my YouTube watchlist. Lo and behold, Alt Shift X’s 40 something minute video on All Tomorrows. I never began to watch it and I never heard much about “All Tomorrows” before this morning. Needless to say, it scratched the haso + worldbuilding + author + creature design + theorizing bits of my brains maybe a bit too well. So why are you here peeking into my blog? Because I’m gonna do it again. “It” being writing short space fics until I burnout or no longer receive praise.

--

All Tomorrows seems to pose that all humans left Earth for Mars. However, knowing human nature, that simply wouldn’t happen. There would surely be a group of people either unwilling to leave or unable to leave - perhaps because of personal philosophies, religion, health, or finances. Regardless the reason, there will be humans left on Earth and - to deter the ones leaving from regretting their decision and to encourage their descendants to stay on Mars, misinformation was spread. “Those who stayed on Earth were racist and xenophobic cowards. They were terrified of what people Mars might be the home of. They were afraid of leaving the familiar.” They were so dubbed the Anti-Martianists or Terrapurists. The so-called Terrapurists never learned of these names and, as such, continued to call themselves Humans. 

So then there was only the poor, the sick, the scared (because it was a frightening prospect to leave a planet for one no human had set foot on in known history), the close-minded, the ignorant, the eager, the hungry, and those who had been overlooked by society. They could rebuild the world for themselves. Some geniuses had chosen to stay on Earth, that they might preserve and restore the planet before it could finish dying. To save you the tension and angst, yes. They were successful. But communications with the red planet were not - for reasons then unknown. Or so they said. It is argued that the “Overlooked” had interfered with comms, so they may enjoy the world that was made for them. That their utopia, their paradise would not be corrupted by those who had forgotten them and their ancestors (for this took a century - only a century - and as such the original pain still burned hot in the descendants). 

Unfortunately, as is a trend with Human successes, the good times did not last too long - though it did last longer than some periods - only about three centuries before what was once known as the Yellowstone volcano erupted. The aforementioned geniuses were well aware of the threat it posed and set forth to prevent it. Again, they were mostly successful, which is more than what could have been said of their distant human ancestors who would have seen fit to pray to and feed the volcano instead. The technology they conjured had slowed down the movement of the magma and the tectonic plates to a speed so slow that even their computers were unable to detect the virtually molecular levels of movement. The process to slow down and “stop” the pre-eruptive activity was a sensitive and chronologically costly matter and, once all came to a stand still, the treatment was concluded - because it would have been a waste to continue when they achieved their goal (effectively freezing the tectonic plates and magma in place). The eruption elicited a reaction not dissimilar to that of those in “Pompeii”. Volcanic eruptions were a disaster of the past and, as such, there were no measures in place to protect against them. The land and people that were not destroyed by the Yellowstone “overflow” were not yet in the clear and were, instead, met with a different fate. 

--

[ @edhelwen1 ] [ @faeriereader ] I feel like you might enjoy this

[yourneighborhoodneighbor]

fanfic rec whateverday #4

today's rec is @aquastardark's amazing humans are space orcs story Deathworlders to the extreme! it just finished today, but a sequel is in the works, and the series has a fic with scenes and chapters that didn't make the final cut, which i also recommend reading!

fandom: my hero academia

status: complete

word count: 200k

summary:

You would think that life had already done enough to Shinsou Hitoshi; having two criminal parents that abandoned you the first chance they got can make you think that, anyway. Turns out that's not the case when he gets abducted by aliens and finds himself stuck on another planet with an injured alien.

comments: super duper amazing read, lots of fun, lots of feels, for most of it shinso and aizawa cant communicate very efficiently bc they don't have a shared language and the miscommunications and fumbles along the waz are sometimes hilarious, sometmes heartwrenching, always awesome. lots of cat alien dadzawa, and general "humans are deathworlders" shenanigans!

it was one of the fics i most eagerly awaited updates from, seriously such a good read :D

[x-hyzenthlay-x]

Humans are mantis shrimp

Ok hear me out. A lot of animals on this planet are color blind in some form or fashion. Mantis shrimp don’t see extra colors in fact we likely process color better than they do from what I’ve heard. So what if a lot of aliens had very specialized forms of vision for their planets, like low light, high brightness, darkness, tons of UV type of visions, and like- our regular color vision is kind of just a little odd to them?

The amount of frustrating conversations that would come from having to describe a color to an alien would be both aggravating and humorous.

But also I enjoy the idea of maybe an alien friend not knowing just how beautiful and vibrant they are👉👈

Plus humans having stripes that are visible with uv light and our cats can see it is absolutely phenomenal.

Master list

I’d love to see a cat themed alien forming a crush on a human because of their stripes and little clawless hands and stuff like idk that’s just adorable to me. I might make this a comic actually

[x-candy-guts-x]

Gonna make this a haso plot with no proof reading or proper thought process what so ever

The ship has been set to cruise in the vastness of space. Aboard it a fight for life is taking place.

Sir the human is.. actually winning..

What?! The king of the current zargon tribe raced from his seat and smushed his face against the glass. Down below a human captain of his own fleet has currently defeated eight zargon warriors with nothing but a wooden sword.

“That’s it, we need to do something about this.. I hear this plant kills people in earth. We can just grind it up and dust the whole arena with it. It should stop his heart.”

“But that’s cheating!”

“He has been sentenced to death!”

The king goes to his garden on the ship and demands they use this plant to create a powder that can be spread over the arena. He receives a strange look but there was no argument. Once he receives it he loads it into the canons and aims them all to point directly over the ships arena.

“Wait- sir is that powder made from their their coco plant?”

“Yeah why?” He pulls the lever and in an explosive blast the powder falls.

“I think you just gave him what their people call cocaine sir.”

He will fall.. probably, but not before taking every last zargon with him.

I’ll never not be in love with these big dorky lizard people lmao

SORRY THIS WAS LITERALLY AWFUL but it gave me such space pirate vibes like Jack sparrow on cocaine type of picture lmao

A noble sentenced to die is allowed to choose their execution method. They ask to die in honourable combat against the king’s knights, armed with a wooden sword while the knights have real weapons. It’s been 24 hours since the execution started and the king is running out of knights.

[callum-librrry]

New Earth

“You’re actually joking,” Laughed Tom, looking at the news article from Earth that Yongrae pulled up. “There is no way we’re naming it ‘New Earth’! That’s the most colonial thing they could do!”

“I know, it’s almost like their trying to sound like the British Empire! Peaceful control my ass!” Yongrae joined Tom in laughing.

“It’s just the easy way out at this point. I mean, you could at least anglicise the native word for it or something! Jeez, no creativity these days.”

“What’s going on here?” Hazai squeezed her head between the two humans. “What’s ‘New Earth’? I thought the one you had was fine, why do you need another one?“

Yongrae smiled, “Have you ever heard of consumerism?”

“It’s not that old Earth isn’t fine, it’s just that it’s a really common way for us to name stuff over there. You gain control of something and you name it ‘New-whatever town you’re from. It’s what those bad colonisers do. We’re making fun of how uncreative it is.” Tom explained. He stroked Hazai’s head and took out a few pin feathers.

“Oh.” 

“Yeah, it’s strange how Earth’s all for universal peace while still doing the same shit that made the World Wars world wars,” Yongrae pointed out as he got rid of the article. “But I suppose that’s enough of that. Need to go do something for Riggs now, I’ll see you two lovebirds later.”

Yongrae chuckled as he sauntered away from Tom’s flustered protests. Sometimes it was nice to be off world.

[taro-pdf]

Humans are Space Orcs: Disability in Aliens and Humans

All language is Universal Interplanetary Language unless otherwise specified. Written like a play.

[Kell, human, in the staff break room of a planet-sized spacecraft where they work as a technician. An alien walks in and jumps. Kell doesn't notice.]

Alien, under their breath: what the fuck since when did we have a human on board?? I thought we employed fynta as security…

[Kell turns around and sees them. They wave. The alien stares. Kell puts down their cup and types something on their watch.]

Kell (text to speech, aka TTS): hey, what's up? can I help you?

Alien, under breath: jfdklas;jdjdfls what am I supposed to say to a human???

Kell (TTS): Kell, human, they/them, I've been on board three orbits and I haven't hurt anyone yet. I you can relax.

Alien: Um, Neka, sateen, he/him. And you relax can as well. Human voices aren't harmful to my species.

Kell (TTS): kind of you to offer, but I don't speak, and I can't hear either. My glasses are transcribing your words for me.

Neka aka alien: Oh neat!

[Kell looks at him in suprise.]

Neka: I mean, a lot of my species is deaf. Our world's pretty loud, and hearing is a recessive gene. My parents sent me up for adoption when they realized I wouldn't be able to do anything on-planet because the noise literally hurts, but at least they did't operate to "fix" me.

Kell (TTS): My parents tried to "fix" my hearing but it didn't work out. I can speak with my hands though. [signs in ASL, then types] like that. It's one of the human sign languages.

Neka: WHAT I speak a sign too! [signs in Sateen] You probably don't know that one, but I can do a bit of Universal Traders' Sign as well. it cool I have something in common with one of the scariest species in galaxy!

Kell (traders' sign): Nice to meet you. I promise not all humans are the fighting machines we are said to be.

Neka (traders'): It's been to long since I spoke anything close to my first language. um... you're the first human i've see off a security team and not holding weapons... can you tell me about like everything about humans? I've heard so much.

Kell (traders'): Of course! A lot of it is exaggerated, but there's always some humans who live up to the stories. Let me tell you about them.

[not-an-alien-scientist]

Human: Dude I'm not so sure about this whole pack bonding thing you've been talking about humans don't even like each other

Alien: Well is it not true that your species collectively grieved over a non-sentient robot on the planet I believe you designate as "'Mars"?

Human: Okay look, that's different, Opportunity's last words just broke our hearts okay

Alien: But... it did not send a last message of words. It was merely the last data recorded by the non-sentient robot. The data showed scientists low power and also indicated the skies on the planet were dark to the point where no sunlight was visible at the time of the last data transfer, nothing more. x

Human: Exactly

Alien: So why does your species grieve over basic data?

Human: Well you just said it "My battery is low and its getting dark"

Alien: That is a poetic translation of basic data

Human: Are you trying to dishonor Opportunity's work?

Alien: N-no I jus- - -

Human: Opportunity was a good boy who did his best. End of story *huffs out and goes to grab some soda*

Alien: *watches human walk away without any farewell words* ?!?!? *jots down in notes* [ Humans can be very protective of their own even when challenged with basic facts, proceed with caution when discussing pack mates of any type, including all non-sentient pack mates. ]

[marlynnofmany]

The Many Uses for Earth Fruits

“Right,” said Paint, placing her scaly hands on the cafe table as if bracing herself for something unpleasant. “How do you eat these?”

I told her, “Well, you take the peel off first,” and picked up a banana.

“Okay, good to know. Glad I asked.” She lifted another gingerly, testing its softness with a claw and watching to see what I did. “So it just pops open?”

“If you do it quickly, yes,” I said. “And if it’s ripe. Moving too slowly will just squish it. Helps if you dig a fingernail in a little first. A claw.”

She followed my instructions while the sounds of the space station food court echoed around us. It wasn’t too crowded, but we’d picked a table next to the ramp down into the area, which felt more out of the way. Paint didn’t want to get her tail stepped on, and I didn’t want an elbow to the head while eating. Some of the people here were big.

“I got it!” Paint exclaimed, her lizardy face lit up with delight. “So you just eat this part?”

“Yep!” I said, demonstrating by taking a bite of my own banana. It was a little too green for my taste, but not bad.

Paint bit off a chunk, leaving sharp toothmarks behind. She chewed a couple times, then stopped and wrinkled her lizardy face in a fascinating way.

I said, “You can spit it out if you don’t like it.”

She spat the banana mush onto her plate, making disgusted noises while she tongued it out of her teeth. I pushed the bowl of grape-sized waterspheres closer. She tossed a couple into her mouth and bit down, swishing the water around dramatically.

“No good, huh?” I asked.

Paint shook her head. “No thank you. That texture is unpleasant, and the flavor isn’t better.”

“They’re not my favorite either,” I said, setting my banana down and picking up a strawberry. “Want to try one of these? I think they’re probably closer to the fruit you’re used to, at least in texture.”

She regarded it with suspicion. “Do you have to pick all those seeds off?”

“No, you can eat the whole thing, except for the leafy part. The seeds are small enough to ignore unless they get stuck in your teeth.” I bit into it and showed her what the inside looked like.

“I’ll try it,” she said. “Though that big one smells the most intriguing.” She pointed at the orange.

“Oh yeah, that’s got a nice strong citrus scent for sure,” I said. “People use orange oil for cleaning sometimes, and as a decorative smell. It’s flammable, though.”

“Of course it is. It’s from your planet. Does the whole fruit explode if exposed to flame?”

“No, nothing like that!” I hurried to explain. “If you squeeze the peel next to a candle, it makes the flame spurt. Nothing big.”

Paint shook her head. “Somehow that’s still not a surprise. I take it you only eat the inside of this one as well?”

“Yes, it—” The rest of my sentence was overshadowed by loud guffaws from the top of the ramp. I craned my neck to see a trio of Armorlites strolling casually into the food court. There were already a couple others here and there, but these three clearly liked being the center of attention. I was reminded of school bullies entering a cafeteria. Big dinosaurian bullies.

“Look at all the little plant eaters, with their plant shop! Does any of it run away or fight back? No? What weaklings.” The one in front laughed more, backed up by the others.

Yep, definite school bully vibes. I tried to turn back to my conversation in hopes that they’d just move on, but another human had made the mistake of trying to walk up the ramp while they were coming down, and they’d turned their sneering toward him.

The unlucky guy tried to stick close to the railing and give them plenty of room. They just stepped closer, and one of them smashed the banana he was carrying into his face. He reacted by yelling at them, which just made the big muscley guys laugh all the louder.

“What are you going to do? Hit me with your squishy plants? That’s worse than your squishy muscles.”

While the guy threatened to go get a pineapple and club them with it, I pulled the peel off my banana and quietly stood from my chair. The ramp was right at head level, and they were close. When the lead bully turned to continue downward, still laughing, I stuck an arm through the railing and placed the banana peel directly under his foot.

It was a thing of cartoonish beauty. He stepped heavily and his foot flew out in front of him, leaving him to crash onto the floor and take out one of his friends at the knees. The other stared in shock while the human pointed and laughed.

“That’s one thing bananas are good for!” the guy crowed. “And don’t you forget it! Nice one!” That last part was directed at me, and I gave him a thumbs up.

The first two Armorlites got groaning to their feet.

The one who was still standing decided that this was hilarious, and it was time to make fun of his friends. “Oh, the little weaklings got you there! Taken out by plants, and not even the spiky kind! I’m going to tell everybody.”

“Don’t you dare.”

“I’m gonna!” That one led the way down through the food court, with the one who had fallen first grumbling after him and the third trying to pretend he hadn’t just taken a pratfall too. In moments they were gone, and the impending fight was averted.

“Thanks for that,” the other human said. He grabbed a handful of napkins from the station next to the trash can, then trotted back down and gave some to me, wiping his face with the rest.

“My pleasure!” I said, reaching under the bars again to wipe up the smear. The banana peel was much flatter and a bit torn, but easy enough to clean away. Background conversation around us went from agitated levels back to regular volume.

When the guy headed off on his own business, I waved goodbye then found my chair and sat back down.

Paint gave me an incredulous look. “How did you know it was that slippery? Is that a thing those are used for on Earth?”

I thought for a moment, setting aside the pile of banana mess, then just said, “Yes.”

She shook her head. “I really would have expected a projectile of some sort, but not that.”

“Well, I could have thrown an apple or something at him,” I said. There was a nice red one on the sample tray, and I picked it up. “But that would have just started a real fight. This was undignified, and more likely to make them leave.”

Paint leaned an elbow on the table. “Is that fruit the best projectile, then? Is it the same as the one he was talking about?” She waved her hand after the other human.

“You’d think so, but no,” I said, turning the apple in my hands. “A pineapple isn’t related to an apple, or to a pine tree. Names are complicated. And there is that old saying,” I added with a grin. “An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but it’ll keep anyone away if you throw it hard enough.”

After that, I had to do some explaining of Earth idioms before we got back to sampling the fruit. Paint insisted on telling Eggskin about it as soon as we returned to the ship, because that seemed like the kind of thing our medic-and-cook should know.

~~~

These are the ongoing backstory adventures of the main character from this book.

Shared early on Patreon! There’s even a free tier to get them on the same day as the rest of the world.

The sequel novel is in progress (and will include characters from these stories. I hadn’t thought all of them up when I wrote the first book, but they’re too much fun to leave out of the second).

[injuries-in-dust]

Earth receives a message from outer space, welcoming them to the greater galactic community in the name of peace and friendship.

24 hours later they receive a second message, "Sorry, wrong number."