#haso writing

[x-hyzenthlay-x]

Humans are fucked up/death worlders/space orcs because we invented the chainsaw to shove up a woman’s vagina during child birth. It’s barbaric to say the least and I’m sure aliens are probably MORTIFIED at all of the medical treatments we used to use or probably even still use to this day!

A lot of our medicine is dangerously close to poison and there’s a fine line between what’s helpful and what isn’t which I find to be fascinating. It’s intriguing how we went from natural remedies to artificially produced copies. It certainly helps remedy things like deforestation or the need for live animals. Like how certain types of venom from snakes and bees can destroy certain illnesses that would otherwise be a death sentence.

Imagine telling an alien “oh yeah I just got stung by a swarm of killer bees and my body used it to cure me of Lyme disease”

They’re just standing/floating/sitting there like

😃 excuse me?

It’ll be even worse if you tell them we still use electric shock therapy to this day and insane asylums were still available up until like the 1980’s (technically the last one closed in 2015 and the mass closing of them only started in the 1980’s)

(Also the vagina chainsaw was last used in the 1980’s :’) and most women did not survive. Many were displayed on stage infront of an audience while being butchered without any anesthetic. I don’t recommend looking up the survivor stories. It’s truly heart breaking how little the medical field cares about afabs even to this day to be honest.)

Master list

[whossuzy]

If i ever meet an alien i want them to draw me - imagine, someone not knowing (or having complitely different then) human biology and beauty standarts drawing a person. Maybe the limbs being too long, maybe the eyes having a predatory gaze (even if u were posing for a second hour, barely not falling asleep) maybe the hair looking different or colors matching ur body temperature

There's also that their forms of art could be different! Maybe instead of sculpting they would put on shiny gems and rocks, maybe instead of drawing with solid graphite they could draw with non drying liquid or making stuff best viewed in 5D?

idk i want to see art perceived in nonhuman way.

[callum-librrry]

Stripes

Tom was sent to greet a new temporary crew member. Riggs provided him with a brief overview of the alien. They were a Chendro, some sort of insect-like species from a few systems away.

Tom greeted the alien in the same, boring, but safe way,

“Greetings. Welcome aboard the Starship Navis. My name is Tom, I am the human navigator sent to meet you and acquaint you with the ship before we leave.”

The alien let out a series of clicks which was translated moments later.

“Thank you, human Tom. I am quite pleased to be working with you for these next few cycles.” The alien followed with an intricate bow that Tom had no way of reciprocating. He settled for a respectful nod of the head.

The two wandered around the Navis, with Tom occasionally breaking the silence to point out a few key landmarks or an odd, obscure rule.

Eventually, Tom felt the Chendro’s gaze on him. In fact, he realised, he had felt it for quite a while now. He glanced over to see they’re mantis-like eyes locked on him.

“Hey man, I don’t want to sound rude or anything but staring is kinda considered rude to us,” Tom pointed out.

“Oh!” The alien quickly averted their gaze. “My apologies, I was simply admiring your wonderful patterning.”

“My... what?”

“Your stripes,” The Chendro clarified. “I think they’re quite stunning.”

Tom looked away, surprisingly flustered by the alien’s openness. 

“Umm...Thanks...” He didn’t have the heart to ask the alien what they were talking about. Perhaps it was a human thing he wasn’t aware of. Having secret stripes wouldn’t be the weirdest thing he’d learnt about his species.

The rest of the tour went well after that. Tom noticed that the Chendro kept it’s eyes away from him; usually straight in front if them. He appreciated the alien’s willingness to adapt to what was probably to them, a weird social convention.

Later, once the tour was done and Tom was settled in his quarters he asked Constance the question that had been burning in his mind for a good portion of the cycle.

“Hey, Constance?”

“Yes Tom?”

“Do humans have stripes?”

“Humans do have what is called Blaschko's lines. They are only visible to humans in rare cases but are seen to those with vision in the ultraviolet range. Is that what you’d be referencing?”

“Huh. I guess...” Tom was surprised by the information. Why the hell had he never heard of humans having stripes? He felt like he would’ve picked up on that in biology. But yet again he could have been asleep for that particular lesson.

“Constance, are Chendro able to see UV?”

“Yes.”

“Ah, ok. That answers a lot actually. Thanks for the help.”

“It was my pleasure, Tom.”

Tom continued to sit there for a while contemplating this new information. He even found a few pictures of visible stripes. He could relate to the Chendro then. They were pretty cool. And to think that every human had patterns like that.

[nerdybluephoenix]

[uncorrect-writings]

Humanity is the first ever life in the universe, in billions of years other civilazations will look back at how we are right now in awe and admiration, we are the ancients, we are like gods for the those who don't yet exist

[slytherinpride35]

More Humans Are Space Orcs :))

Humans don’t have natural camouflage, so what if we’re the only species in the universe that makes its own camo?

Kixh, the only survivor of the recon party sent to scout the area for hostiles came back shaking. When asked, he insisted that the ancients had cursed this land and its living things. “They came out of nowhere!! I swear, the foliage moved, commander- it attacked us!!”

Of course, no one believed him until they received reports and warnings from various other divisions about similar happenings all over the Lakiff Sector.

Humans everywhere have been making what they call “memes” about it, and their social platform Tumblr has claimed that some interdimensional species with shape-shifting abilities have come to this universe to steal the souls of those they kill. Panic has spread everywhere as the human government assures the intergalactic community that those on Tumblr are not to be taken completely seriously.

“What does their government mean- ‘completely’??”

“Do they not know the severity of the situation?”

“Are they hiding valuable information of this new species from us?”

In a secret broadcast on the human radio, the UN urges the population to maintain utmost secrecy about camouflage when talking to universal friends & counterparts. Of course, Tumblr didn’t care :) No one believed them anyway :))

[will-it-be-finished-who-knows]

"Friendliness Training"

Written by Ka'hop Arczon

Any human who wishes to travel the stars (legally) must first participate in and pass "Friendliness Training". We were led to believe this is not the official name of the program, but every human we interviewed refused to call it anything else.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As you may know, humans are deathworld predators, incredibly dangerous with a love of chaos, and as such possess many behaviors terrifying to other species. However, they are aware of this and how it affects their relationships with other species and seem to actively work against their societal norms and natural instincts to make others comfortable. Further proof of humans' compassion and the strength of their interspecies pack bonding, though that is not the point of this article.

To ensure that no human causes a diplomatic disaster and can work calmly and effectively with other species, the human governments agreed to have a standardized course and test that all space-faring humans must pass: the so-called "Friendliness Training". Through this training, humans learn to suppress some of their more threatening behaviors such as "smiling", the bearing of teeth that can mean anything from joy to malicious intent, and is very difficult for other species to correctly interpret. Until first contact with humans, the bearing of teeth was considered a universal sign of hostility, and this perception is not easily changed, as it is ingrained in many species' instincts.

At any rate, the universe can rest assured that humans are aware of their unintentionally threatening behaviors, and are voluntarily undergoing training to put those around them at ease.

[transman-badass]

I haven't done anything with it for a while but I still love humans are space orcs fiction. The concept appeals to me. In a lot of sci-fi fiction, aliens tend to be stronger, faster, better than humans. Sometimes it's to give the humans a challenge to overcome, sometimes it's just life. Maybe it says something about how a lot of us feel small and helpless right now, how we want a power fantasy where we're the heroes, where we save the universe, where we, in all our diversity, are changing things, for good or bad.

Anyway I woke up today to a fading dream and a burning need to write space orcs style humans vs an alien like Frieza from Dragonball Z. I know nothing about this character and DBZ other than scattered memories of watching the show on toonami and various memes I run into on my dash. I wouldn't want to write a fanfic crossover anyway. If I did this this character would be just inspired by him, I guess...

If I did this, I don't know if I will. Lordy knows how much else I have on my plate. But I'm gonna be thinking about this for a while...

[x-hyzenthlay-x]

Humans are mantis shrimp

Ok hear me out. A lot of animals on this planet are color blind in some form or fashion. Mantis shrimp don’t see extra colors in fact we likely process color better than they do from what I’ve heard. So what if a lot of aliens had very specialized forms of vision for their planets, like low light, high brightness, darkness, tons of UV type of visions, and like- our regular color vision is kind of just a little odd to them?

The amount of frustrating conversations that would come from having to describe a color to an alien would be both aggravating and humorous.

But also I enjoy the idea of maybe an alien friend not knowing just how beautiful and vibrant they are👉👈

Plus humans having stripes that are visible with uv light and our cats can see it is absolutely phenomenal.

Master list

I’d love to see a cat themed alien forming a crush on a human because of their stripes and little clawless hands and stuff like idk that’s just adorable to me. I might make this a comic actually

[jpitha]

Worldbuilding stuff: Communication. Okay, you have some cool aliens, some cool humans, some planets, some ships, a way to move around; you've got a world bubbling! Now, how do they talk to each other? Do they? Remember, even if you have FTL or jump drives or hyperspace or whatever, the planets are still lightyears apart. You could extrapolate out your FTL transportation into an Ansible that uses the same tech or go like me, where the energy needed to keep a wormhole link open that long is prohibitive so everyone uses beacons for emergency or priority communication and couriers for everything else.

Life aboard the communication relay station Audible Warning is busy, but not difficult. The Audible and her human colleagues aboard stay at specific coordinates around the Parvati system, waiting to hear from beacons and couriers. All registered couriers are required to link in near the relay station, report their business, and once they receive approval they can link out to their final destination. Beacons link in, report to the station and the stations powerful message laser relays the message where it needs to go in-system.

Séan sits at his workstation, sipping some too-hot coffee and chatting with Audible.

"I'm telling you Séan, the Reactors are going to go all the way to the playoffs this year." Audible says

"No way Audible, they lost their best striker last year to the Overwatch. They won't even make it past the second round!"

While they argue sports, Séan's workstation chimes. A new beacon just linked in. Immediately warnings flash on his console.

"Audible, something is wrong with that latest beacon, it's not responding to our hails."

"Confirmed Séan, it's also larger than a normal beacon and..." alarms sound across the room "It's got its own message laser!"

As Séan and Audible watched, the large black beacon unfurled a laser emitter and swung around to an unknown location, held position for a few seconds, and then silently detonated in the darkness.

"Uh, so where was it pointed?" Séan asks, shaken.

"I don't know Séan, just pointed at the planet somewhere. I can't nail down any more accurately than that"

"Why would they link in to a relay station if they were just going to send their own message anyway?" Séan asks.

"I don't know. Maybe they wanted to send a message."

"Of course they did, they used a message laser." Séan couldn't help himself.

"No, not like that Séan, now's not the time." Audible said testily. "They wanted us to know they can and will message people privately."

[callum-librrry]

New Earth

“You’re actually joking,” Laughed Tom, looking at the news article from Earth that Yongrae pulled up. “There is no way we’re naming it ‘New Earth’! That’s the most colonial thing they could do!”

“I know, it’s almost like their trying to sound like the British Empire! Peaceful control my ass!” Yongrae joined Tom in laughing.

“It’s just the easy way out at this point. I mean, you could at least anglicise the native word for it or something! Jeez, no creativity these days.”

“What’s going on here?” Hazai squeezed her head between the two humans. “What’s ‘New Earth’? I thought the one you had was fine, why do you need another one?“

Yongrae smiled, “Have you ever heard of consumerism?”

“It’s not that old Earth isn’t fine, it’s just that it’s a really common way for us to name stuff over there. You gain control of something and you name it ‘New-whatever town you’re from. It’s what those bad colonisers do. We’re making fun of how uncreative it is.” Tom explained. He stroked Hazai’s head and took out a few pin feathers.

“Oh.” 

“Yeah, it’s strange how Earth’s all for universal peace while still doing the same shit that made the World Wars world wars,” Yongrae pointed out as he got rid of the article. “But I suppose that’s enough of that. Need to go do something for Riggs now, I’ll see you two lovebirds later.”

Yongrae chuckled as he sauntered away from Tom’s flustered protests. Sometimes it was nice to be off world.

[leonieweird]

Sweater Weather

Human Jo’an was weird.

I couldn’t determine whether it was human weird or just Human Jo’an weird. She was rushing around, tripping over her own feet, and having more injuries than normal.

“Human Jo’an, what is that in your hand?” I asked. The human did that thing where they freeze like a little ickchay. I couldn’t help that my wings bristled in amusement.

She looked over her shoulder, short hair covering of of her eyes as her arms shielded something behind her. My “feet” clicked against the floor of our spaceship, my wings folding in on each other. “Really?” She nodded, her lips pursing to the side to try and make an innocent expression.

It only made her look more guilty.

“Human Jo’an, I have known you since I hatched out of my egg. We have been together through a lot. I can tell when you are hiding something.” For good measure, I opened up my wings. A tactic usually for making predators intimidated, but Human Jo’an always said it made me look, and I quote, “devious”.

“Arth.” My name that Human Jo’an gave me since she could not pronounce my real name. “Would I ever lie to you? Or-“ I cut her off. “That time on the Planet Nerthimplf, you said you couldn’t speak the language of the predators there, yet you are now hailed as their surrogate queen.

“I just mimicked their sounds. The translator didn’t pick up their language correctly. So, technically, I did not lie to you.” Human Jo’an straightened up, keeping the item behind her back. Though from this angle, I could see cloth.

“My point is I would never lie to you in a way that would put you in danger. This behind my back? It’s nothing.” She tried to shrug her shoulders to show that it was in fact nothing, but from the way I could hear her heart speed up was different. My head cocked to the side, wings spreading more in amusement.

“If it is not a big issue, why can’t you show me?” Human Jo’an coughed, eyes looking to the side. “Human Jo’an.” She sighed, and then rolled her eyes, and then groaned. Her face changed into many different emotions, all ones I have seen before. Human Jo’an was embarrassed.

My wings closed in on themselves, the feathers puffing up in what Human Jo’an described as wing laughter. I felt like laughing. “I will not judge you on what you have. I am not that kind of species.” Human Jo’an nodded and then brought her hands to the front.

My foot tapped against the floor, wings flapping in uncontrollably excitement. It was what the humans called a sweater, however this one was a little ragged and had tiny holes in them. The words were in a messy text of my homeland language translating to “Yeah I survived a predator, so what?” I assume it was to reference many of our adventures where I had almost died to a predator.

Human Jo’an observed my expression, a smile making its way onto her face as I expressed with my body language rather than my words. I was elated and so was Human Jo’an.

I was now 13 earth years old, and received my first sweater crafted by the hands of my caretaker. I was elated.

[do-not-burn]

All Tomorrows: A Brief Fixation

Today I indulged myself by exploring the bottomless pit of my YouTube watchlist. Lo and behold, Alt Shift X’s 40 something minute video on All Tomorrows. I never began to watch it and I never heard much about “All Tomorrows” before this morning. Needless to say, it scratched the haso + worldbuilding + author + creature design + theorizing bits of my brains maybe a bit too well. So why are you here peeking into my blog? Because I’m gonna do it again. “It” being writing short space fics until I burnout or no longer receive praise.

--

All Tomorrows seems to pose that all humans left Earth for Mars. However, knowing human nature, that simply wouldn’t happen. There would surely be a group of people either unwilling to leave or unable to leave - perhaps because of personal philosophies, religion, health, or finances. Regardless the reason, there will be humans left on Earth and - to deter the ones leaving from regretting their decision and to encourage their descendants to stay on Mars, misinformation was spread. “Those who stayed on Earth were racist and xenophobic cowards. They were terrified of what people Mars might be the home of. They were afraid of leaving the familiar.” They were so dubbed the Anti-Martianists or Terrapurists. The so-called Terrapurists never learned of these names and, as such, continued to call themselves Humans. 

So then there was only the poor, the sick, the scared (because it was a frightening prospect to leave a planet for one no human had set foot on in known history), the close-minded, the ignorant, the eager, the hungry, and those who had been overlooked by society. They could rebuild the world for themselves. Some geniuses had chosen to stay on Earth, that they might preserve and restore the planet before it could finish dying. To save you the tension and angst, yes. They were successful. But communications with the red planet were not - for reasons then unknown. Or so they said. It is argued that the “Overlooked” had interfered with comms, so they may enjoy the world that was made for them. That their utopia, their paradise would not be corrupted by those who had forgotten them and their ancestors (for this took a century - only a century - and as such the original pain still burned hot in the descendants). 

Unfortunately, as is a trend with Human successes, the good times did not last too long - though it did last longer than some periods - only about three centuries before what was once known as the Yellowstone volcano erupted. The aforementioned geniuses were well aware of the threat it posed and set forth to prevent it. Again, they were mostly successful, which is more than what could have been said of their distant human ancestors who would have seen fit to pray to and feed the volcano instead. The technology they conjured had slowed down the movement of the magma and the tectonic plates to a speed so slow that even their computers were unable to detect the virtually molecular levels of movement. The process to slow down and “stop” the pre-eruptive activity was a sensitive and chronologically costly matter and, once all came to a stand still, the treatment was concluded - because it would have been a waste to continue when they achieved their goal (effectively freezing the tectonic plates and magma in place). The eruption elicited a reaction not dissimilar to that of those in “Pompeii”. Volcanic eruptions were a disaster of the past and, as such, there were no measures in place to protect against them. The land and people that were not destroyed by the Yellowstone “overflow” were not yet in the clear and were, instead, met with a different fate. 

--

[ @edhelwen1 ] [ @faeriereader ] I feel like you might enjoy this

[yourneighborhoodneighbor]

fanfic rec whateverday #4

today's rec is AquaStarDark's amazing humans are space orcs story Deathworlders to the extreme! it just finished today, but a sequel is in the works, and the series has a fic with scenes and chapters that didn't make the final cut, which i also recommend reading!

fandom: my hero academia

status: complete

word count: 200k

summary:

You would think that life had already done enough to Shinsou Hitoshi; having two criminal parents that abandoned you the first chance they got can make you think that, anyway. Turns out that's not the case when he gets abducted by aliens and finds himself stuck on another planet with an injured alien.

comments: super duper amazing read, lots of fun, lots of feels, for most of it shinso and aizawa cant communicate very efficiently bc they don't have a shared language and the miscommunications and fumbles along the waz are sometimes hilarious, sometmes heartwrenching, always awesome. lots of cat alien dadzawa, and general "humans are deathworlders" shenanigans!

it was one of the fics i most eagerly awaited updates from, seriously such a good read :D

[x-candy-guts-x]

Gonna make this a haso plot with no proof reading or proper thought process what so ever

The ship has been set to cruise in the vastness of space. Aboard it a fight for life is taking place.

Sir the human is.. actually winning..

What?! The king of the current zargon tribe raced from his seat and smushed his face against the glass. Down below a human captain of his own fleet has currently defeated eight zargon warriors with nothing but a wooden sword.

“That’s it, we need to do something about this.. I hear this plant kills people in earth. We can just grind it up and dust the whole arena with it. It should stop his heart.”

“But that’s cheating!”

“He has been sentenced to death!”

The king goes to his garden on the ship and demands they use this plant to create a powder that can be spread over the arena. He receives a strange look but there was no argument. Once he receives it he loads it into the canons and aims them all to point directly over the ships arena.

“Wait- sir is that powder made from their their coco plant?”

“Yeah why?” He pulls the lever and in an explosive blast the powder falls.

“I think you just gave him what their people call cocaine sir.”

He will fall.. probably, but not before taking every last zargon with him.

I’ll never not be in love with these big dorky lizard people lmao

SORRY THIS WAS LITERALLY AWFUL but it gave me such space pirate vibes like Jack sparrow on cocaine type of picture lmao

A noble sentenced to die is allowed to choose their execution method. They ask to die in honourable combat against the king’s knights, armed with a wooden sword while the knights have real weapons. It’s been 24 hours since the execution started and the king is running out of knights.

[taro-pdf]

Humans are Space Orcs: Disability in Aliens and Humans

All language is Universal Interplanetary Language unless otherwise specified. Written like a play.

[Kell, human, in the staff break room of a planet-sized spacecraft where they work as a technician. An alien walks in and jumps. Kell doesn't notice.]

Alien, under their breath: what the fuck since when did we have a human on board?? I thought we employed fynta as security…

[Kell turns around and sees them. They wave. The alien stares. Kell puts down their cup and types something on their watch.]

Kell (text to speech, aka TTS): hey, what's up? can I help you?

Alien, under breath: jfdklas;jdjdfls what am I supposed to say to a human???

Kell (TTS): Kell, human, they/them, I've been on board three orbits and I haven't hurt anyone yet. I you can relax.

Alien: Um, Neka, sateen, he/him. And you relax can as well. Human voices aren't harmful to my species.

Kell (TTS): kind of you to offer, but I don't speak, and I can't hear either. My glasses are transcribing your words for me.

Neka aka alien: Oh neat!

[Kell looks at him in suprise.]

Neka: I mean, a lot of my species is deaf. Our world's pretty loud, and hearing is a recessive gene. My parents sent me up for adoption when they realized I wouldn't be able to do anything on-planet because the noise literally hurts, but at least they did't operate to "fix" me.

Kell (TTS): My parents tried to "fix" my hearing but it didn't work out. I can speak with my hands though. [signs in ASL, then types] like that. It's one of the human sign languages.

Neka: WHAT I speak a sign too! [signs in Sateen] You probably don't know that one, but I can do a bit of Universal Traders' Sign as well. it cool I have something in common with one of the scariest species in galaxy!

Kell (traders' sign): Nice to meet you. I promise not all humans are the fighting machines we are said to be.

Neka (traders'): It's been to long since I spoke anything close to my first language. um... you're the first human i've see off a security team and not holding weapons... can you tell me about like everything about humans? I've heard so much.

Kell (traders'): Of course! A lot of it is exaggerated, but there's always some humans who live up to the stories. Let me tell you about them.