#has just been spiking anxiety constantly

[venstm]

being in the emotion pits for the last few days has had me playing g.nshin which i never thought would happen again but here we are.

[letsgofoletsgo]

welp i chose the Most Convenient Time Ever to run out of my antidepressants /s

pardon the rant at 5 in the fucking morning

[angeltism]

I don't know if I should keep reading about NPD to purrhaps get answers for my current situation or stop completely and stay blissfully ignorant for the rest of my life /hj

[gayforthesun]

It’s been two months and some change and I’m still not over how funny Moros is as a character like. He’s Doom. Every NPC is wary of him. Melinoë is constantly chastised for inviting him to the crossroads. He looks intimidating with his stance and his creepy eyes and his spiked antlers…and then the second you actually get any of his dialogue and hear his vaguely californian, soft spoken ass voice the whole illusion falls apart. Then from there it’s like oh he’s polite! and bashful. and awkward. Clearly he has no idea how to be friendly. He gives you a keepsake that’s ridiculously overpowered in the early game and then says “Princess!” in a flustered voice whenever you equip it. He’s an intense Odysseus fanboy. He has separation anxiety like a dog. He takes up witchcraft because Hecate gets tired of seeing him just stand in the same spot all night. And on top of it all his antlers aren’t even real. Character of all time to me

[merakidoll]

warnings : nerd!eren x black chubby! reader ( guess this is also because a series >_< ) intoxication, oral ( f ), eren has glasses ( CUMS )

mirah’s note : the day i write them having sex will be magical, until then foreplayforeplayforeplay ! i guess you could consider this kinktober day 1

i’ve been think of nerd eren attending a halloween party. how you begged him to come, throwing in the pouty lips, and puppy dog eyes. and maybe, just maybe, you suede him with your lips around his cock until he screamed how he would come, as he was cumming.

he would walk in awkwardly, his anxiety spiking at the large amount of people, that he had to constantly rub his sweaty palms against his pants. but as soon as he saw you the nerves quickly left. you coming up to him in a tight little red riding hood dress kissing his cheek and leaving a glossy print. you pulled him through the crowd, eren giving quick apologies to anyone he bumped into with a nervous chuckle.

“what can i get you to drink rennie”

“uh- i - punch?” you two would conversant - your whispering in his ear sensually how you loved his harry potter costume, while rubbing all over his body. as eren started to become buzzed off of the spike punch. he kissed you hard, and sloppy. his print rubbing against your stomach, while his tongue swirled around your own moaning at the taste of your saliva.

you both couldn’t even answer how you ended where you got. your legs spread wide as you sat on the bathroom counter, pushing the man’s face deeper into your cunt. his glasses where squished against his face, nose rubbing your bud, while his tongue licked and sucked all of your flowing juices. “s-shit rennie more! moreeemmm”

bucking up into him, his brown hair was held tightly by you, your pussy close and eren waited with an eager mouth to slurp on the sweet cream. which he did. moaning into your cunt, and incoherent words falling from his full mouth of just how much he was in love with you.

you two would leave the bathroom with your cum still on him, a very obvious hint at what had just taken place. and eren rocked it proudly to the line of drunk people who had to use the restroom.

[theshipden]

How would the main 6 react to finding out Mc has ptsd?

Cracks knuckles oh baby as someone with C-PTSD this is my JAM

Julien;

He listens to your explanation, never breaking eye contact. He understands, he’s a doctor, he talks you through it

When you’re having an attack, he’s quick to ground you and help you seek a good therapist

Protective asf, he will not let you do anything alone since it makes you nervous.

Learns every one of your triggers so he can prevent them, whether that’s stopping himself from doing it or someone else

Holds you and cries about what you’ve been through, promises to never let it happen again

Portia;

Post-traumatic- down-syndrome? (Tiktok reference)

Nah but she isn’t certain what that is or what it means, but she DOES read about it and teaches herself what it all entails

Asks julien for further knowledge and how to help

Asks if you need space, to talk, advice, or just her company

In the middle of your attacks, she rubs you. Whether it’s your hand, your back, carding her fingers through your hair, she’s anchoring you back to the ground again

Asks what you need from her when you’re anxious

“Reassurance? Quality time? A listening ear—a shoulder? I have two of those!”

Muriel;

He understands you more then anyone. And funny enough, your anxiety seems to go hand in hand with his own

You’re damn right people are scary!! And loud noises are overwhelming!! And you’re angry and scared and just want to feel safe!! Him too!!

He isn’t the best at staying grounded, honestly he’s still learning healthy coping mechanisms

But when he sees you struggling, he finds himself in the clearest state of mind. He listens, he’s nurturing, and very intuitive.

Smiles so soft and so warm when you calm down from an episode, never pushes you to talk

Sometimes, you panic together about the same thing. Something about seeing someone you love feel the same way as you do….feels like home. You’re not dramatic, you’re more in control then you originally thought, and you’re cared for. Just as you care for him, he cares for you

Nadia;

She’s very good at rationalizing your racing thoughts, using logic to soothe your panic when it seems to be becoming too much

Uses her hands to massage the tension out of your muscles and help you process and work through the feelings you’re having

Aromatherapy, 100%

Reserved a spa day for you, just you and her, no one else. She knows the company of the servants would make you mask

Probably offers to buy you an exotic animal just so you have someone at your side if she’s away when you spiral

Lucio;

This man probably tells you to calm down, not realizing that’s making it worse.

Blubbers an apology immediately after, stuttering wildly as he waves his arms frantically

“No! Don’t cry—-! Hey, darling, it’s alright! What’s happened? My love, can you look at me? Show me those gorgeous eyes, there you go, wonderful. Now, what’s gotten you so upset?”

Thinks someone’s responsible, fully plans on lynching them as soon as he’s figured out the culprit

If your trigger is an inanimate object, he WILL destroy it. And yell at the servants not to trigger you

Drapes his cape over you so you feel sheltered and calm, so you can hide if you don’t want to be seen but don’t want to be alone

Definitely glares at anyone who attempts to call you emotional or puts you down for a natural reaction to trauma

Showers you in compliments, covers the mirrors in little affirmations with lipstick

Asra;

He knew. He’s always known. Even before you did.

He’s very patient, extremely passive and cautious

He educates others on your behalf so you’re never in an unwanted situation or triggered on accident

Reminds you to take medicine, eat, drink water, etc

Asks the arcana to guide you and offer you wisdom and clarity

Constantly ensures you’re never in a night terror/flashback

Can immediately tell when your anxiety spikes, doesn’t even ask before he brings you into the shop in a controlled and familiar environment and asks to talk

Admires you and your courage, he tells you everyday how strong you are and how proud of you he is

[catboybiologist]

About to fall asleep ramble time, this has been kicking around in my brain for a bit and I need to get some form of this thought out

I was diagnosed with ADHD and gender dysphoria one day after the other back in August. Extremely stereotypically zillenial of me, I know. Handling both of these has dramatically improved my quality of life. yes yes insert discourse about how much you need to have dysphoria as a diagnosis, it's just a tool for the medical system that's ultimately meaningless, that's not what this is about.

There's one thing that was really, really weird about the experience of getting care for both of these.

Most treatment and public talk of transition and motivations to transition are about misery. How much despair your birth sex gives you and how gender affirming care is the only stopgap against suicide (oftentimes, used as a barrier to entry that it should only be given when it's at the suicidal point). How crushing dysphoria is.

In contrast, most of the public perception of ADHD is this cutesy, "omg look I'm so quirky" kind of thing. People talk of ADHD "superpowers" and how neat it is to have hyperfixations (I'm low key starting to dislike that word, even though it's an accurate description of many things- it's very overused).

My actual experience has been almost exactly the opposite.

I absolutely had gender dysphoria, and still do, and misery associated with being AMAB. But is that what defines my trans experience? No, and in fact, it feels like a more incidental blip in it. My trans experience has mostly been defined by joy, by feeling my mind and body slowly make me more and more content with my default existence day after day. And the exploration of it all! The social roles, the romantic dynamics, the friendship dynamics, even small aesthetics like clothes and makeup, and again, the body and mood changes. It's incredible and it brings me joy so much of the time. That, more than anything, has defined my trans experience.

In contrast.... ADHD has objectively made nearly every aspect of my life more miserable. Working with my therapist and my pysch, as well as feeling what it's like to be properly medicated, have shown me extremely well how much the constant feelings of misery I always seemed to have were caused by ADHD. ADHD means being unable to receive a baseline level of dopamine to function under normal circumstances, so your brain starts looking for any way it can get new sources. And wouldn't ya know it, novel stimuli are a perfect way to do that. Keep in mind that dopamine isn't just "the pleasure molecule" it's a neurotransmitter with a broad range of functions. If you don't have ADHD, or even if you do, I want you to think about how miserable of an existence that is. Your default state is depression and inability to do things. It has been for me for most of my life. Additionally, anxieties creep into your head and distract you far more easily. You're less functional. You can't do simple things most of the time. You're distracted and have anxiety spikes easily. Continuous tasks are hard. And day in, day out... You are miserable. Almost constantly.

Oh also, you're easily addicted to extreme novel stimuli. For me, it was self harm. And when that stopped working... Well, I was in a state of mostly background depression that was only punctuated by spikes of massive, overwhelming anxiety that my brain hooked itself on. At a certain point, I just wanted it to end, by any means necessary.

It's been almost ten years since that day, and at this point I can genuinely say that I'm glad I'm still here.

But it wasn't dysphoria that did that (it contributed a bit, but still wasn't the biggest factor). Or a depressive disorder. Or bipolar. Or whatever the big, more "scary" mental illnesses or neurodivergencies are. They tried to treat me for some of them, and it ended horribly. My symptoms fit mixed presentation ADHD perfectly, including my physiological response to stimulants. They don't fit anything else. I likely don't have any strong comorbidities, unless you count the symptom-level anxiety and depression. ADHD did all of that to me. The "cute and quirky" one.

By the time I got around to a diagnosis, my pysch was astounded that I made it as far as I did with symptoms as severe as mine. Tackling ADHD has removed so much misery from my life, it's indescribable. Adderall has been the only thing that has ever actually gotten rid of my constant anxiety.

It's not fucking cute. Keeping with this being the flip side to my dysphoria, I do try to keep it light most of the time, and I join in on all of the classic "whoopsie doopsie my ADHD" trains and jokes. You don't have to stop making those, hell, they're fun. There are cute and funny parts to having ADHD, and ways it's made my personality what it is. But don't forget that this is also something that makes people genuinely suffer well beyond the "oopsie I'm such a procrastinator!!!" Type thing.

Idk where this thought is going. It's just kind of an observation that's been kicking around in my head for a bit. So uh. Hope it at least generates discussion? Feel free to add your experiences if you think it'll help you. But fuck I need to sleep lol

[honeyswriting]

Remattra and zenyatta relationship prompts!

~Gender neutral~

Relationship prompts of the brothers with a s/o!

NSFW WARNING (you can read past these :)

I tried my best lol very little proof reading

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Remattra

Remattra was never open to the idea of relationships

Realistically, he's probably never even been in one and if he has, it didn't last very long

His thoughts on humans and the unfair treatment of omnics has made it his top priority. It was the only thing he thought about.

With mondatta though, you were one of the very few humanoids that gained his respect.

You helped give a blueprint of the omnic anatomy and helped fix viruses in omnics and helped replace parts on them. Not to mention, you also persisted protesting for omnic peace.

While he was still learning about the iris he was confused why you where there. Sure, humans have said they agreed with peace for omnics, but action was more his style of work. he never bothered to listen to other humans but you spiked his curiosity.

He ended up talking with you. You explained that no matter the being we are meant to stick together and help each other. Which lead to more questions.

Sooner or later you both became comfortable with each other, leading to poking his glass and asking him questions.

He became vulnerable, and explained how he felt his existence was only meant for war and would only been seen as a war machine. He wanted to be something more then just a omnic made for war. But he wasn't afraid to utilize what humans created about him.

You comforted him, explaining that he is an example of going against the system and that he was his own being, and more then just a war machine. How his wants are admirable. You held him gently as he rested his forehead against your right shoulder and you rubbed the back of his neck.

You constantly reminded him he was okay when he experienced anxiety, you made him comfortable when he was in doubt.

This gave the omnic male conflicted feelings. He never felt affection but the fact a human as you actually exists in a world full of hate and the ability to make him feel things he didn't know existed it confused him.

It took him awhile to tell you his "weird feelings", but you explained that it's called affection and it's something even other omnics have experienced, relating to some of the protestors with similar relationships. (It didn't hit you till after you explained it all that he was admitting he had a crush on you even if he didn't outright say it was about you.)

You guys kept your relationship discrete (AT FIRST) You and him both agreed to a private relationship to explore these feelings because you both are obviously closer then friends right now.

He slowly became more open to the thought of certain people knowing about you both dating. He just wasn't entirely ready for that information being released since the public knew of his history and didn't want to seem hypocritical and to protect you from harm's way. (Sombra blackmail)

When anyone seemed to have any amount of interest in you he would do his best to passive aggressively scare them into staying away from you.

Remattra likes it when he can hold you in his lap. It makes him feel prideful that he can protect you as you rest in his arms.

He has a possession issue. He has to know you are okay at all times.

Whenever you couldnt sleep you request for him to come and lay with you, and each time he doesn't protest

He likes to hold your face by gently placing his palms on both sides of it and placing his forehead on yours. That was his way of giving you a kiss.

His love languages is acts of service and communication.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~NSFW BELOW~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When it came to becoming more intimate for the first time, ramattra was more curious and dominant to learn than seduced. He wanted to learn what made you tick, what made you moan out his name the most.

You explained how his voice flustered you at times and it gave him something to think about.

After you told him about your infatuation of his voice he would make sure you would hear anything he said suggestively.

He liked seeing your back bare towards him as he rails you. He'd press his hands on your upper back and push you down closer to the bed. It was something about the way your back was molded and shaped that really got him going, but he always made sure you where okay with any poses that involved you looking away during his love making.

Something he learned that he likes when you both are intimate is him being able to hold you up against him.

When he became more confident he was very dominant. He likes seeing you vulnerable to him and sensitive to his touch.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~END~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Zenyatta

Zenyatta never minded relationships at all! He saw how it proves omnics and people can live and love together as one.

He explained and shared with you people that don't understand something will misjudge it and it's just something that happens

He really liked your discussions on the omnics peace rallys. He could talk with you all day if he could and would patiently wait for you if you had to go somewhere.

He noticed how you would come sit with him or be by him without even saying anything. It made him proud you felt safe around him

When you both started becoming closer you both where inseparable. Both of you would lean on each other gradually getting closer and closer.

Zenyatta didn't mind people knowing his love for you. It was pretty instant what he knew he was feeling towards you and was very quick to make a plan to tell you.

He loved getting attention from you. He was pretty strong for his smaller build from his brother, but he could carry you while flying with no problem. He could hold you in his lap as long as you needed.

His love languages often consist of words of affirmation and physical touch.

He LOVES cuddling. It was much more comfortable due to him liking to wear softer and padded pants and he would wear sweatpants to bed whenever you both shared one.

In bed he doesn't sleep but if you had a bad day he would stroke your back as you slept on your stomach. And if you didn't like sleeping on your stomach would spoon you, or hold you to his chest and stroke your back from there.

Zenyatta isn't a jealous type, but if people pushed their boundaries with you he would protect you in a heartbeat. He takes pride in you so when people compliment you he's happy.

He gave great advice. Though sometimes it can become confusing sense he likes to use haikus.

He liked feeling you kiss his faceplate. His favorite thing is when you kiss the lights on his forehead though.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~NSFW BELOW~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Zenyatta was surprisingly an experienced first timer for anything like this. Whenever it comes down to it he is definitely a lot more sensitive and can feel quite alot.

He talks you through it. Tells you how beautiful you are or how good you feel against him.

His favorite thing about you is your legs. He will run your legs up and down and see how far you can stretch.

Usually he's very sweet and goes slow for you. But when he is really going he wants to serve you until you physically see stars.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~££££END££££~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[strniohoeee]

Could you write a Matt x fem y/n where she gets overwhelmed with life (or something like that) and she tries to hide it from Matt. She fails miserably and in telling him what’s wrong she has a panic attack, so he has to guide her through it. Like kind of angsty in the beginning but very fluffy in the end? If that’s okay with you?

Trapped

Pairing: Matt Sturniolo X Female Reader

Synopsis: Y/N is struggling to balance her stressful life without realizing it. Unable to figure out what’s wrong some questions from Matt make her spiral and panic takes place🗣️

Warnings⚠️: None it’s just short 😭

Song for the imagine: Silver Soul- Beach House

Trap

(Past tense) Trapped

Verb

Prevent (someone) from escaping from a place

Lately my mind has been clouded by this overwhelming feeling of stress. I’m not usually a stressed person, but when I do find myself getting overwhelmed I handle it well.

But right now in this moment I wasn’t sure what was wrong and why I couldn’t control these feelings. I suppose it’s true that stress is a silent killer.

I couldn’t really pinpoint why my mind was racing and I felt this impending doom waiting for me. Like I was on the brink of snapping?

To make matters worse I’ve been distancing myself from Matt and his brothers because I didn’t want to seem like a buzz kill. Constantly plagued by the “what’s wrong” was making me annoyed. Because I simply couldn’t say what was wrong because I didn’t even know.

Matt had come over to my apartment to spend the night with me. I felt horrible because he was so excited and I just wanted peace and quiet, and to go to sleep.

I was being such a bitch, and I tried not to be but it was becoming very hard. My mind was constantly racing and for what? I had no idea….

“Baby are you okay?” Matt asked me, snapping me out of my trance

“Huh what?” I said looking at him

“Well I’ve been talking to you and you haven’t said a thing” he said furrowing his brows at me

“I’m- I’m sorry” I said shaking my head

“Are you sure you’re okay? You seem off” he replied rubbing my arm

“Yes Matt I’m fine” I said sternly kind of brushing his arm off of me

“Oh uhh I’m sorry” he said snatching his hand back

“Listen I’m sorry I’m just not feeling the best today” I said rubbing my forehead

“Would you like to talk about it?” He asked repositioning himself on the couch

“What is there to talk about when I don’t even know what’s going on in my brain” I said frustrated

“I’m not trying to make you upset so we don’t have to talk about” he said looking at me

“I’m sorry, okay, it’s not you I promise. I’m just stressed” I said back to him

“Well baby what are you stressed about?” He asked reading my face for an answer

“Matt I don’t know okay” I said feeling my heart beat quicken

“It’s okay” he said rubbing my knee which caused my anxiety to spike even more

His over analyzing of the situation made my brain go haywire. Anxious thoughts infiltrating my mind.

“I’m just stressed about a lot…..my content, and then my part time job and then also juggling school, and then my mom called me the other day to say that my dog is probably dying, and I have tons of bills and so much stuff to do and such little time” I said my chest rising and falling

“It’s okay to feel that way. You’re young and you’re doing a lot and living on your own isn’t easy” he said tucking my hair behind my ear

“And the warranty is up for my car so I have to call and purchase it again, and my manager has been trying to get a meeting in with me, and I have to fly back home in two weeks”

“and….and…..why does my chest feel like it’s tightening?” I suddenly blurted out the last part

“Y/N, you have to calm down okay. You’re freaking yourself out just breathe” Matt said sitting up

“I can’t breathe and my hearing is going out, my vision seems blurry? Am I going to pass out?? Why can’t I breathe Matt?” I said breathing quickly and erratically

“Listen to me, okay listen to my voice. You’re having a panic attack. You need to focus on your breathing and calm down” he said grabbing my hands and sitting in front of me

“I can’t” I said staring blankly as tears ran down my face

“Yes you can baby” he said

“Why am I crying?” I asked trying to breathe

“You’re having a breakdown, you’re going to be okay just do as I say” he replied back

“Remember when I took you to the cape and we went to that river?” He asked me

“Yes” I said shakily

“Okay now breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth” he said wiping my tears

“Well remember how beautiful it looked, and how vibrant the tree were….we sat down on a rock and you put your feet in the water” he said to me

“Yes I remember” I replied blinking my tears away

“And you tried to count the rocks in the water but you couldn’t” he said

“Yeah there were too many I kept messing up” I said laughing a bit

“And then you just focused on the water running through your feet, and you said that-“ I cut him off

“I said that it felt like silk running along my skin” I replied smiling at him

“Exactly, and you said the wind blowing through your hair made you feel like a main character in a movie” he replied laughing

“Yes I remember” I said laughing

“And do you remember who was there with you?” He asked and to this I furrowed my eyebrows

“Of course Matt, it was you” I said looking at him

“Exactly, I will be with you no matter what. I will always be by your side” he said kissing my knuckles

I had calmed down and my mind had cleared. Finally coming to my senses at what just happened. My body and mind feeling exhausted

“Thank you Matt” I said smiling at him

“Always my love. I’ll always be here for you. You should never let yourself get this way. If you ever feel any amount of stress just tell me I can help you” he said rubbing my cheek with his thumb

“I’m sorry I just don’t want to seem like a burden” I replied looking down

“You’re never a burden. Because when I’m stressed you’re always there to help me and I want you to do the same” he told me

“Okay Matt I will. I promise” I said leaning into his chest after he sat back on the couch

“Listen, you're doing well enough to quit your part time job, and if you ever need any money for anything just let me know okay. I want to help you! I’ll fly with you back home, and I'll go to the dealership to get the warranty package for your car again. Let’s look at your calendar together and schedule the meeting with your manager. And I can help be your study buddy for your courses” he replied rubbing my shoulders

“Thank you Matt I really appreciate it” I said melting into his touch

“This is what I’m here for! To be there for you always” he replied kissing my shoulder

“I love you” I said

“I love you too” he replied back

I looked over my shoulder and he placed a kiss on my lips. A kiss that let me know how loved I was….

The End

Hiiiii I hope you enjoyed this one! I have two stories similar to this on my page, so I tried my best to make it different😭😭 I love yall and I hope you enjoyed this one🥹🖤🖤

-J💅🏽

[emotionallyattachednerd]

Seeker Allure Part 2 ❙ ES Starscream x Skywarp x Nova Storm x f!robot reader ❙ NSFW 18+

Word count: 3400+

Warnings: Smut ( spike in valve, threesome and spark merging ) some angst, postnatal anxiety and sparking cuteness. NSFW 18+.

Notes: I'm really glad I did this! For a while I was considering doing a part 2 but never really put much thought into it until I got the request. Once again, I got carried away with this, no self control. Thanks anon for sending through. Sorry for the delay. Enjoy. 🥰

☕ Coffee

Those bastards! No, Starscream, damn him!

This wasn't part of the plan, and it was not the best time either. After your last encounter you felt a nagging tug close to your spark chamber, and discovered that you were carrying a sparkling, a seeklet, Starscream's sparkling.

You're terrified and you don't want anyone else knowing about your condition, so you stay in hiding at an abandoned observatory where you make it home for a bit at least, and also a place to help gather your thoughts.

Bumblebee had found out though by accident when coming to check up on her, worried, but promised to keep your secret, wanting to help however possible and also wanting to let you do your own thing with your thoughts. Honestly, you're glad, because he's been helpful and provided you with enough energon.

At first you're terrified, not fully prepared for this, but that fear changes when your sparkling has finished developing within your gestation chamber, and opening your chassis you allow the little one to come out, and you're holding them for the first time.

A femme seeklet. She's beautiful, a striking imagine of Starscream, but still perfect. You're a creator now and your mother instinct kick in finally for you to care and protect your creation.

Despite just having a sparkling, you were still overthinking about everything, what dangers might come, what the seekers might do, or if humans gain interest and will want to take her away from you.

What if Starscream takes her away from you?

No, you won't let that happen.

Things didn't really get better for you though, emotion and mood wise, fearing every possible outcome for your sparkling and struggling to recharge, as each cry from your seeklet dangles you right over the ledge into the abyss. It's not good for you, and you know this, but being on your own did have its impact sadly.

While you're staring out into the city lights from your view, lost in your thoughts, you're -- brought back by the sound of your sparkling and hurried to the crafted nest you made and checked on your little one, spark racing rapidly and clenching anxiously.

"Sweetie, are you alright? What happened?" You carefully scoop her up into your servos and hold them close against your chassis. They whimper as warm lubricant tears stream down their small face before it slowly ceases, sniffling and nuzzling into their creator. "Did you have a nightmare?"

You don't expect answers of course, but she is really the only one you get to speak with. She responds though, looking up at you and lets out a bundle of chirps, reaching her tiny arms up to touch your cheek plating. She's so sweet!

Smiling you nuzzle into her servos and let out a gentle hum. "I love you, sweetling, my universe, my greatest treasure. I won't let anything happen to you, I promise."

For a time you hold her, humming a gentle lullaby from cybertron while rocking her into recharge again. It's been too long since you last saw home, you missed it, and it was making you severely homesick.

Once settling her again you end up watching her recharge for a long while, you weren't even sure how long, but you couldn't take your optics off her peacefully recharging. When you are finally able to leave it's only because you needed to refuel, and slowly exit yourself from the crafted nest you made.

Your anxiety won't settle, you fear, your spark constantly clenching and beating rapidly. It's not a good feeling and you hate it, but you don't know how to stop it. You kept telling yourself it'll pass, that it was only for now, but the longer it went on the more you less believe this.

Again, you find yourself staring out into the open view you had, and as peaceful as it was, you don't feel at peace. It's a never ending silent torment that has corrupted you. Constant fear.

"You're a hard one to find." The voice of Starscream suddenly hits your audios like a stinging buzz that stabs right through your spark, spiking your fear as you turn to see him within the observatory, Skywarp and Nova Storm trailing behind him casually.

"H-how did you find me?" You stutter while trying to keep a distance from them.

"We noticed the yellow bug made regular trips out here, and so we followed him, leading us to you. Is there...something going on between you two?" Starscream hints, annoyed if that small bug ever tried to steal what was rightfully theirs.

"Of course not, I mean how can she when she's got us." Nova Storm giggles. Her giggles used to make you quiver in delight, but not this time.

You continue to try to keep away, moving yourself while your optics are fastened on them, fear consuming every inch in you. Every other time you've encountered them it's always been annoyance and uncontrollable lust, but not now, and the seekers soon realised this, much to their confusion.

"What's wrong? Why are you afraid?" Starscream narrows his optics at you.

"Come on darling, we've never hurt you before." Skywarp tries to come closer. "Why would you think that now?"

That's not why you're afraid.

"Please...you need to leave."

It's Starscream that steps closer bluntly. "And why would we leave? What is it you're hiding?" He can tell, you're hiding something and it's causing your fear to spike up. He's never seen you like this before.

"Nothing! Go! Now! Get out!" You suddenly shove at Starscream chassis, causing him to stumble back, stunned by your actions.

However, your outburst is loud and high up in the nest you've created is where your sparkling once again stirred awake again, crying out, irritated that her recharge was interrupted.

The seekers all look up, now noticing the nest and you see the bewildered expressions consuming their faces. You act, and fly up towards the nest where you hastily gather your sparkling into your arms and hold her close, hiding from the world.

Turning around you're suddenly faced with seekers who had followed you, but kept a distance as they all continue to watch on as if they're in a trance. You sparkling continues to cry into your chassis, confused by what's happening as you hold them protectively, using your arms to shield her from the seekers.

"Please..." You can only whimper, fearing they will take her away from you.

"You have a sparkling." Skywarp says in a gentle tone. "Is this why you've been hiding?" You can only nod weakly.

"My sparkling." Starscream declares. He's thrilled, but also annoyed. "Why didn't you tell me?" He goes to step closer, making you step back before Starscream was stopped by Nova Storm.

"What are you afraid of?" Skywarp is the only one who steps closer slowly, knowing you're terrified.

"Please...don't take her away from me." You can only continue to whisper through your shaky voice.

"She? A femme?" Starscream's wings flicker in excitement. He wants to see her, hold her, but Nova Storm stops him. It seems the femmes were the only two understanding your fear and don't want to make it worse.

"Why would we take her away from you?" Skywarp is confused.

Indeed, why would they? You couldn't even explain, it was just the horrible nagging dread that consumes your mind. Your sparkling is all you have, and you don't want that ripped away from you.

You don't answer her, and when you look up you notice Skywarp is much closer now causing you to shrink back in fear, only to hear her giving gentle hushes before slowly reaching out to touch your shoulder, causing you to flinch from the contact. Your spark feels like it's going to erupt from its chamber, throbbing repeatedly, it's horrible.

"No one is taking her away from you." Skywarp assures. "And if anyone did try, I'd scrap them, we all would."

Meeting her optics you don't see the lustful blazing gaze you've always seen on other occasions, and instead you're greeted with gentle kindness. "Promise?"

"A thousand times over, I promise." Skywarp is now standing right beside you as she rubs your shoulders to help try and relax you. She looks down at the sparkling in your arms and smiles. "She's a striking image of you, Starscream."

"Can I see her?" He vents, still annoyed, but anxious to see his creation.

With Skywarp at your side, Starscream and Nova Storm come closer finally. You're still scared, clinging onto your sparkling as she whimpers into your chassis, tiny servos digging into your plating. Their shadows cover you but the feel of Skywarp's gentle servos over your shoulders is what helps you calm your racing spark just a little.

They're all so close, huddling closely, but Skywarp and Nova Storm are stroking your frame and gently rubbing your wings, making you quiver lightly under their touches, but it helps.

Meeting Starscream's gaze, you see the silent plea lingering in those baby blue optics, desperately wanting to touch his creation. Then finally, you move, gently holding your sparkling and allowing Starscream to take her to hold.

"Watch her helm." You whisper while helping him support her.

Starscream is in a trance as he holds his beautiful sparkling in his servos, feeling himself smile as she onlines her teary optics, curiously looking up at the new seekers. She's not use to them, never before seeing any of them, but she feels an odd connection towards Starscream. This is her sire.

You've never seen Starscream like this before, a gentleness, cradling his sparkling closely as she curiously touches his face plating. Skywarp leans her helm against your shoulder and you lean into her, holding onto both femmes as you feel your emotions flood through you, a relief but also guilt.

Afterwards, it was Skywarp and Nova Storm's turn to babysit. Both femmes eagerly cared for your sparkling while making her giggle and chirp away at them. This is the time for you and Starscream to talk to one another.

Outside, on the ramp attached to the observatory, you and Starscream sit together, a long and dreaded silence floats in the air, each of you waiting for who just might break that silence. It's Starscream.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Of course, the top question. Why didn't you?

"I...I was scared." There's a hanging strain in your voice.

"But you told the yellow bug." Starscream is blunt and you feel you deserve that.

"He found out by accident, but I made him promise to not tell anyone. He's just been bringing me enough energon. He's a good friend." You look up seeing the jealousy hanging on his face. "There's nothing going on between us."

"Good." Starscream doesn't want you to be touched by anyone else other than him or his trine. "What were you scared of? I would've been there for you and helped."

You realise this now, that perhaps you should've told him. "I was scared my sparkling was going to be taken away from me."

Starscream narrows his optics. "Why would you think I would take her away from you?"

"Not just you, everyone. The humans, Optimus, Megatron, I...I'm still scared someone is going to take her away. I can't explain it, its all I've been worrying about." You lean yourself against the solid wall behind you.

It's quiet for a moment, a stinging silence, before you feel his arms wrapping around your frame and bringing you closer against his chassis, hugging you, while you lean into the tender comfort.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you." You whisper, feeling guilty you've kept this from him. Starscream lets out a low grunt. He's hurt, and you don't blame him for being angry with you.

"I'm staying." His words get you to look up at him, confused. "I'm not leaving you or our sparkling. Skywarp and Nova Storm will probably stick around, but I'm not going anywhere." His servos touch your face and he traces his digits under your optics tenderly.

"So I'm stuck with you?" You can't help but pout, teasing him, and he answers through a soft chuckle.

"Don't sound too disappointed, but yes, you're stuck with me. Tough luck." He feels just how much you're heating up simply by his touches. "Getting warm are we?" He leans closer and lets out a purr into your neck, glossa running against your sensitive cables.

"Your fault." You moan faintly, tilting your helm to give him better access. "You're like a parasight I can't get rid of."

"A parasight you crave." His words murmur out against your neck before feeling his servos moving over your waist, tugging you closer against him that you welcome.

"Shut up and kiss me." You grab his helm and kiss him firmly, pushing your glossa between his lips and devouring him, dominating his glossa with your own with greed.

Starscream smirks against your lips as he kisses back just as hard, servos gripping into your soft armour and moving up around your sensitive wings causing you to shiver under his skillful touches.

For the first time in a while, you don't feel afraid, and that's a beautiful relief. He breaks the kiss and holds your servos, leading you towards the berth, one that was never used since you've been recharging in the nest with your sparkling.

"I've had my trine for a long time. Skywarp and Nova Storm became conjunx's and I became their amica, and its always been the three of us together. I want you to become part of our bond, and we'll become four. So, let's skip traditions, become my conjunx tonight, join me, join our bonds."

He's serious.

You're quiet in thought for a moment, causing him to speak. "Do you see yourself with anyone else?"

"No, not really."

"Good. So?"

Waiting for the granted permission, that's all he was waiting for. Over the years you've always had your lustful encounters with the trine, and it just carried on as if it was normal. Now, you're being offered to break that trine and become their fourth trine member. There is nothing to lose, so of course you answer what you feel is right, no matter how crazy it was.

"Alright."

Almost immediately, you find yourself laid back against the berth, lost in a intense and passionate kiss with Starscream as he presses himself between your legs, smoothly grinding himself against you panel and causing you to moan out in soft bliss, glossas tangling together while your servo move behind to tease his wings tips lightly, earning you a shiver from him along with a satisfied hum.

Breaking the kiss he lets out a giggle at our pouting, but this changes when he starts descending down your body and you feel his lips against your inner thighs making you arch your back under his heated vents.

Without even asking or being told, you retract your panel, revealing your moist valve for him to feast upon. He lets out purrs of delight before moving closer and gliding his glossa against your outer lips and across your ceiling node, earning him a joyful mewl from you. He loves the sounds you make, always like a beautiful melody.

Feeling his glossa wiggle its way into your valve you let out a number of sorts of sounds, moaning loudly while venting and biting your lips, servos clenching his helm as your optics shutter close.

"Such pretty sounds." You hear Nova Storm whisper at your side, joined by Skywarp on your other. As aroused as you are, you can't help but ask.

"W-where's-"

"She's recharging." Skywarp answers. "She's safe, I promise. Let us take care of you, darling." You relax as you feel them touching you in your most sensitive places, becoming a moaning mess as you embrace the pleasure boiling through your frame.

Starscream lifts your waist up as he buries his face against your valve more, letting out a lingering moan that vibrates through your perfectly, glossa rolling back and forth, drawing out more beautiful sounds from you.

Skywarp tilts your helm and shares a kiss with you, one you welcome very eagerly. It's a lot to take in but you crave every touch and kiss from them. This is what you want, seekers always stick together.

"Can we see?" Nova Storm whispers into your audio as her digits trace over your chassis, right above where your spark was. You respond through a murmur before shifting your plating and relieving your pulsing and glowing spark.

"So beautiful." Nova Storm whispers, before leaning across your chassis, servos carefully touching your chamber, before you feel her glossa lick against your spark.

Never have you felt something so sensational. Soft mewls of bliss erupt from you, greedy for it all, treated like a princess. Your sounds are swallowed by Skywarp again as she twirls her digit against your wing. All three of them, it's quite a lot to deal with.

Being lost in the moment you don't realise right away that they had stopped, Starscream coming up to lean over your frame, his spike already hard and running up against the outside of your valve. When you do realise this, Starscream kisses you, his lips and glossa soaking with your juices while Skywarp and Nova Storm both embrace in a passionate kiss, their own sparks open and touching one another, vocals erupting in chaotic orgy.

Your attention is on Starscream then, and you feel his pulsing spike enter your valve, every ridge pressing in and filling you completely. Arching your back you let out a low mewl as your servos grip onto his arms, legs wrapping around his waist as you clench around him.

Every throb pulses through your channel, sending electric buzzes through you repeatedly, before feeling him move. He's got a firm grip around your waist as he thrusts into you, tugging you back against him at a shallow and firm rhythm.

Starscream leans down towards your neck, thrusts slow and short, causing you to let out a grunt as you try to move your hips quicker against him, and this causes him to giggle into your neck.

"Stop your giggling." You tap his shoulder as a warning.

"Make me." He continues to giggle like a brat, and you roll your optics.

"I could, or you can frag me harder and join our sparks together?"

"You're so demanding."

"You love it." His silence is your answer. He does love it. He smiles, and it's his mischief kind. Damn that smile.

You watch as his cockpit and chassis shift their platings, relieving his pulsing spark and leaning closer again. There's one more kiss, one more thrust, before both your sparks collide together.

His movements grew intense, shallow firm thrusts rocking you into the berth as you wrap yourself tightly against him, sparks joined and pulsing rapidly together while all your blissful sounds fill the air.

You feel either Skywarp or Nova Storm holding her servo and you hold back. You're not sure who it is, though it doesn't matter, and the overpowering pleasure briskly boils even more. You moan, you cry, you fall apart feeling his spike thrust into you over again and his spark wrapping around your own, feeling the bond grow and complete itself, right before Starscream gives a sharp thrust and stills, hissing out as he overloads.

He fills your channel with his warm fluids, your own overload suddenly crashing through as well as you hold onto him and you mewl out in delight. It's so alluring, the moment, everything you're feeling, so perfect.

Your systems start to shut down due to your lack of recharge already, and you feel yourself being wrapped up by the seekers bodies before going into a blissful recharge.

The next morning, you are online, to find yourself back in the nest, tangled up with Skywarp and Nova Storm warmly that makes you smile softly. You can feel the seeker bond between you all, the bond with Starscream, it's a blissful feeling.

Gently, you remove yourself from the tangled embrace, smiling softly as the femmes embrace one another before hovering your way down only to find Starscream outside standing on the ramp with your sparkling in his arms, speaking to her.

Quietly, you come up behind, listening.

"One day you'll see Cybertron, my little seeklet. It's beautiful, and soon it'll thrive, hope for our world and species. You're going to love it." He speaks fondly to her as she chirps in response.

Coming up behind, you wrap an arm around his waist and lean into his side. "One day, we'll go home."

Starscream gives a rare tender smile, a softness he hasn't expressed in a long time. He feels he can finally find peace with his new family, a chance to become something different, something better. He tenderly leans back into your frame, servos holding and stroking your sparkling affectionately.

Home indeed.

[jennay]

Love Shouldn’t Hurt

Request: Hi! Since you're really good with sensitive topics, I'd like to ask you a ff with reader x noah. Noah is the first guy reader dated after a toxic relationship (I let you choose of what kind) and she has some trust issues and personal insecurities after being gaslighted and mistreated.

Noah Sebastian x Reader

Noah Master List

Warning: Struggles with past abuse?

An: sorry this is a little short! Hope you enjoy it and thank you for this request. I loved it. Let me know if you want to be added to the tag list 💜🖤

You wished you could turn back the clock and meet Noah when you were still whole and unbroken.

You dreamed of the days when you had a pure heart and an open mind, trusted without fear, and loved without hesitation.

You felt like you were offering Noah a shattered version of yourself, which was unfair to him.

It almost cost you your relationship initially when you doubted his sincerity and expected him to leave.

Noah never gave you any reason to feel insecure. Still, you were haunted by the ghosts of your past, telling you that you were unworthy and unlovable.

Sometimes, you felt like you didn't deserve to be happy. You wondered what he saw in you because you couldn't see anything special in yourself.

You thought you were too clingy, anxious, or too much. You felt like a burden or a challenge, constantly struggling with self-esteem.

Noah had a different perspective. He would shower you with compliments and affection every day, telling you how much he admired your strength and resilience and how much he adored your quirks and habits that someone else had criticized or dismissed. He would make you feel beautiful and valued, even when you felt ugly and worthless.

Those negative thoughts still lingered in your mind, even though you had gone through therapy and moved on, and it had been two years since then. They still tried to sneak in and destroy the new confidence that Noah nurtured in you.

When Noah looked at you, he saw his soulmate. He loved holding you in his embrace at night, feeling your body relax against his chest when you were scared or uneasy, knowing he could provide comfort and peace.

He melted every time you reached for his hand in a new situation or when there was a crowd of people around, and your anxiety spiked. You made him feel special without even trying.

"Baby," Noah whispers, caressing your leg with his gentle fingers. "You ok?" His voice is full of concern and love, making your heart flutter.

You shake off the fog in your mind and look at him. You realize where you are. The lake, he brought you to the lake, y/n—your favorite place in the world. The place where you first met him, where you shared your first kiss, where you told him you loved him.

"Yeah." You smile at Noah and move closer to him on the cozy blanket that shields you from the dirt. You rest your head on his shoulder and admire the scenery.

The lake is serene and beautiful, reflecting the light of the sun like a mirror. You watch the small ripples created by the wind, making the water sparkle. The trees surround you with their long limbs covered in green leaves, creating a natural shelter and a sense of privacy.

You breathe in the fresh air, feeling relaxed and peaceful.

"Where were you?" Noah leans back on his hands, eyeing you with curiosity and worry. He can tell when you're lost in your thoughts when something bothers you.

You sit up straight, pulling your knees to your chest like a child caught doing something wrong. You feel guilty for ruining the moment, for not being fully present with him.

He slides his sunglasses to the top of his head, showing you his sincere puppy brown eyes. He doesn't want you to feel like he's angry or judging you. He just wants to understand you, to help you. "You know you can talk to me, right?" He asks softly, reaching out to touch your arm.

You shake your head, "It's nothing," You say, hoping he'll drop it. You don't want to burden him with your problems or insecurities. You want to enjoy this day with him, this perfect day he planned for you. "Do you want to go for a walk?"

You change the subject, looking at the path around the lake.

"Of course." He agrees, getting up and offering his hand to you. He doesn't push you further, respecting your choice. But he also doesn't let go of your hand, letting you know he's there for you whenever you're ready to open up. "My legs could use some stretching." He says lightly, trying to make you smile.

You smile gratefully, feeling the comfort of his hand in yours. You squeeze it gently, thanking him silently for being patient and understanding. You know he loves you more than anything, and you love him too. You just wish you could love yourself as much as he does.

"Did I tell you how fucking cute you look today? Cause if I didn't, I'm probably the worst boyfriend." He smiles widely, showing the perfect smile that you love so much. You swear you can hear angels singing when he does that.

You bite your lip, trying to contain your happiness; you look down at your summer dress, happy you chose what you did. Compliments from Noah felt so genuine like he was seeing something in you that no one else could.

"You didn't, but I don't think that labels you as the worst boyfriend." You giggle. "I think you're a pretty good boyfriend."

"Oh, stop it." Noah blushes. "You make it easy to be good to you." He says, sounding like a cheesy Hallmark card. But you don't mind, because he means it.

You intertwine your fingers with his and hug his arm close to your body, resting your head on his muscular bicep as you stroll along the path. You feel like you're in a romantic movie, except without the drama and the bad acting.

The sun shines brightly, reflecting on the pond where the ducks swim peacefully. "Do you wanna try to catch one of the ducks?" He jokes, his voice full of mischief. "We can give it a nice bathtub home." He says, making a quacking sound with his mouth.

You roll your eyes playfully, "Neither one of us needs that responsibility, and I'm pretty sure it's illegal." You say, shaking your head. "Besides, what would we name it?"

Noah thinks for a moment, then grins. "How about Duck Norris?" He suggests, cracking himself up. "Or Quack Sparrow? Or Daffy Duck?"

You laugh out loud, loving his silly sense of humor. "No ducks babe."

Noah scoffs, pretending to be offended. "I still want one." He says, kicking a small rock with his boot. "You're no fun."

You know it was a joke, and you know he didn't mean it, but the voice in your mind is screaming at you, telling you this was it. He was finally getting bored of you. You have insecurity and anxiety in your chest, making breathing hard. You wish you could silence the voice, but it's too loud and persistent.

He notices almost immediately what happened. He stops walking and untangles his arm from yours, wrapping you in a tight hug and gently rubbing your back.

"I was teasing you." He kisses the side of your face, his lips warm and soft. "I have so much fun when I'm with you." He says, trying to reassure you. He hates seeing you upset and wants to make you happy.

"I'm sorry." You mutter against his chest. You feel tears pricking at your eyes, smearing against Noah's black sweater. You pull away, wiping your eyes. You feel embarrassed and guilty for overreacting. "I don't know why I'm crying." You weakly smile, adding a quiet, small laugh.

You try to act like it's nothing like you're fine. But he can see through your facade. As Noah sees the tears aren't stopping, he pulls you back into his arms and holds you tight.

He gently wipes the wetness from your cheeks with his thumb, looking into your eyes sweetly. "It's ok. I've got you." He whispers, planting a soft kiss on your forehead. Noah makes you feel safe and secure like nothing can hurt you when he's around.

"Promise?" You ask in a small voice, needing his reassurance. You need to hear him say it to confirm he loves you and he won't leave you. You need to believe him, to trust him. He smiles and caresses your cheek, making you feel loved and cherished. He leans in and presses his lips to yours, kissing you with passion and care.

He shows you how much he loves you, how much he wants you. He breaks the kiss and rests his forehead against yours, gazing into your eyes. "I promise. You can't get rid of me that easy."

Tags: @thisbicc @yumikitten @lma1986 @chemicallady

[blindmagdalena]

Any hcs for homie with a very affectionate s/o, but who still tells him bluntly when they disagree with him? Like when deciding on the slogan, "saving the world" vs "saving America" maybe they openly say saving the world is the better choice

There are a great many things Homelander loves about you.

For instance, the way you hug him for no reason at all. In his prior experiences, hugs have only ever been an uncomfortable formality, or a transaction. The first time you put your arms around him without prompt, he was baffled enough to ask, "What's going on?" To which you simply answered, "I just wanted a hug. Is that okay?" He still smiles when he thinks about the way you looked at him when you said that. He answered, "Yeah. Yeah, sure. 'Course it's okay."

He loves the casualty of your intimacy. There's no thought or hesitation in the way you touch him. He loves that he can make you laugh so hard, there are tears rolling down your cheeks. He loves that you love him without reservation.

Something he doesn't particularly love is the ease and nonchalance with which you are constantly engaging him in full on verbal combat.

"It's not better, it's just your preference," he says, jaw tight.

You have the audacity to laugh. You're not supposed to laugh during a fight. "Okay, fine, I prefer 'saving the world,'" you say, but just as he eases at your acquiescence, you add "Because it's better."

He bristles all over again. "Why are you so intent on fighting with me?"

"Are we fighting?" You ask, brows furrowing. You look genuinely confused at that. Your posture shifts with the change in his tone. "I was under the impression we were having a conversation."

Homelander lifts his hands in an incredulous gesture. "Conversations are pleasant. You know, about the weather, or what you had for lunch, or, I don't know, complimentary! Nice! Not this-this continual dissention!"

"Dissention?" You echo, flabbergasted. "What am I, your crew aboard the Enterprise? I'm not one of your underlings," you say, frowning. He hates that look on your face. "I know that," he scoffs. He tries not to hear the petulance in his own voice. "It'd just be nice if you could be supportive once in awhile." "That's not fair," you say. Christ, it's getting worse. You're not angry with him, you sound disappointed. He'd prefer your anger. "I don't have to agree with you all the time to support you. Do you want me to lie to you? Mindlessly agree with everything you say like some kind of sycophant?" Homelander purses his lips, tapping his fingers rapidly on the armrest of his chair. Of course he doesn't want that. He despises being lied to. "No," he says eventually, realizing you aren't going to give him an out from this.

"Okay. Good," you say, which he feels a modicum of relief at. However, as he watches you get up, he's hit with a spike of anxiety; are you leaving? He's ready to snap, to tell you to sit back down and sort this out, to talk until he feels better, but he has to choke it all back when you make your way right to him and drop sideways into his lap.

Your expression is stern, focused, but there's a gentle curve to your lips. He feels the churning in his stomach ease with the weight of you, but despite the comfort your touch brings, he's grumpy enough that he doesn't immediately put his arm around you the way he normally would.

"I love you," you say. It's an immediate balm to his scorched ego. "I love you when we agree. I love you when we disagree. And for the record, I do agree with you plenty. Remember those awful Preparation H2O sticks they were pitching for The Deep? The ones shaped like dolphins?" Homelander can't maintain his sour attitude at that, he huffs a laugh. "Christ, as if they needed to associate him with the image of sticking one of those up his ass." You laugh, too. The sound is music to his ears. "Mmmhm, you and I rebranded the whole deal. We're a team. It doesn't mean we always have to agree, but we do have to respect each other. We have to love each other. Okay?"

"Okay," he echoes, less sullen and more just a touch pouty. He slides both of his arms around your waist, nuzzling into the crook of your neck. You kiss the top of his head, carding your fingers through his hair. "Love you, too."

"Good," you say, smiling. "So... Save the world?"

"No," he growls through his own little grin, nipping at your throat until you squirm and break into ticklish peals of laughter, trying to push out of his iron grasp to no avail. "Clearly I need to put a little more American appreciation into you, if you catch my drift."

You groan loudly, fighting back the giggles. "Oh my god, why do I even like you?"

"I'll remind you," he purrs, hands slinking across your body as he catches you in a kiss.

Homelander tells himself that maybe the occasional disagreement isn't so bad, especially if it always results in these kind of assurance and make out up sessions.

[underqualified-human]

Pets I think the Punch Out Characters would have:

Glass Joe:

Hear me out: a very violent cat that hates everyone except him

It hisses at anyone who enter his house and has peed on someone before

Totally chill if it’s just him

Von Kaiser:

He owns two absolutely massive Great Danes and named them something like ‘Daisy/Fifi’

He goes on runs with them daily

Disco Kid:

He’s the type of guy to have rabbits, me thinks

Also a bit of a pet collector.

Has probably had most types of house pets at some point in his life

King Hippo:

Owns a parrot and that’s the only thing anybody knows about it

Piston Hondo:

He has multiple rats (all named after days of the week) with ample enrichment in their cage

Yes, he gets depressed every time one of them dies. No, he will not stop getting more. 

(Not so fun fact: Pet rats are very likely to get cancer, or my friends have very bad luck)

Bear Hugger:

The squirrel is enough.

Great Tiger:

This is going to sound very random but: starfish

He has five of them in a tank and can easily tell the difference between all of them

Don Flamenco: 

He has two Yorkies with separation anxiety. 

His neighbours hate him

Aran Ryan: 

He has one(1) very calm Husky and one(1) very hyperactive cat that enjoys attempting to ‘fight’ the Husky (both are rescues)

He used to have a lot of fish in a massive tank when he was younger but after an … incident he no longer has that fish tank (or the fish)

Soda Popinski:

Honestly? Pomeranian.

There is nothing to elaborate on.

He has a Pomeranian and he gave it a spiked collar.

Bald Bull:

He has a snake and takes its care very seriously

Constantly monitors its behaviour and adjusts things in the enclosure if he sees something is up

Super Macho Man:

This mf has a poodle and or/ a tiny purse chihuahua

It’s  purebred and, at the very least, has been properly house (/purse?) trained

Mr. Sandman:

He has three tiny budgies that love him dearly

He gave them People Names so whenever he talks about them people can’t tell if the conversation is about pets or children

Honestly, just seems like a bird guy in general

[catbatart]

Personal rant below involving mental and emotional health and cutting out unhealthy people.

I recently went no contact with someone who I highly suspect has uBPD (See ADDENDUM) After 8ish years of being constantly guilt-tripped, lashed out at, and having my boundaries constantly crossed, I really needed to do it for my mental health and emotional wellbeing. Since then, my anxiety over all social interactions has improved a LOT. I had developed this fear of hanging out with friends in general, but especially if there was even a chance that this person could be there. That's almost completely gone now. I definitely feel much freer and happier overall. While I have a lot of sympathy for them, I have no doubt that it was the right decision for me. However, it still feels like they are boundary pushing. In some of the public servers we're in, even though I have them blocked, they will still jump into conversations I specifically was having with other people. They are signing up for events I'm going to despite having, in years prior, furiously said they were never going to do the event again. Etc. These are public spaces and they have a right to be there, but it feels very much like they are trying to assert social dominance and sometimes it even feels like they're still trying to mirror me. It causes these very uncomfortable spikes in anxiety, and definitely stirs up irritation (which I will fully admit might be "bitch eating crackers" on my end- they caused so much friction in my life that maybe these are completely innocent things I'm reading too much into... but even mutual friends seem sus of it.) Anyway, there is no solution to this necessarily. It's just something frustrating I've been dealing with (the point of no-contact feels neutered when discord is like "HEY LOOK A BLOCKED MESSAGE! REMEMBER THAT PERSON YOU BLOCKED? THEY JUST STARTED BEING ACTIVE IN THAT CONVERSATION YOU WERE HAVING! :) :) :)" )

If folks have similar experiences, I'd love to hear them. It makes me feel like maybe I'm not losing my mind. Anyway, rant done.

ADDENDUM: It was pointed out that including this information was perhaps not necessary. Deleting it felt disingenuous as it went on to be discussed in the comments/replies. My intention was to provide context as to the intensity of the situation, not to demonize them, but it was still likely unnecessary as the BPD is entirely suspicion and observation on my part, not in any way confirmed. While this person was highly toxic to my life, I do not think they are a bad person. Cluster B personality disorders are highly stigmatized and they are not inherently abusive people. I know by the nature of the disorder, they have difficulty controlling/regulating their emotions. However, people are still responsible for their own actions. It is this person in particular's consistent actions that made me go no-contact. Not the disorder.

[ivy-loves-chocolate]

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ N o t e ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆ Merry Christmas! I know I'm a bit late, but i hope you'll enjoy this nonetheless. Comments and reblogs are not necessary, but they are highly appreciated ♡;

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ P a i r ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆ Leon Kennedy x F!Reader;

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ P l o t ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆ One night, when Leon can't handle the loneliness, he decides to visit you at your office;

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ T a g s ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆ smut, cheating, unprotected sex;

Check my Patreon for early content ♡

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ W o r d c o u n t ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆ 2.1k

Weeks passed since Leon felt the touch of your skin. Staring at the ceiling in his dull bedroom, he tried to ignore the burning need that spiked throughout his body. You were the only person who could ease his pain, but because of the circumstances, you weren’t available for him.

He was constantly checking his phone, hoping for a sign from you, but he'd toss the device in bed every single time.

“What to do..." He kept asking himself, trying to find a way to climb up from the pit that he was slowly falling into.

The reason for this situation was your relationship with Wesker. You two were together long before you met Leon. You loved Wesker, you really did, and you didn’t want to cheat on him, but he was so busy with his work, and that made you feel like you two were falling apart. You started to work with Leon; your missions would synch frequently, and because of that, you started to get to know each other better. Whenever you felt alone, Leon was there for you, and he instantly cheered you up with his jokes and positive attitude. He fulfilled your need over and over, and soon you two would spend the nights together, not just to fill up paperwork.

Because Wesker would figure it out really quickly if something was off, you were the one to call Leon whenever your boyfriend was away from work. However, it’s been weeks since he last saw you, and he was losing his mind.

Being driven by loneliness and desire, he picked up the phone again and called your secretary to ask if you were at the office. It was a risky move, one that will probably infuriate you, but he couldn’t care less about your tantrums.

"Yes, she is there, working on some reports.” She said. A faint sound of typing was heard during the call. She probably worked on something.

The building was almost empty since it was Saturday night. He crossed the hallway in a hurry, waving and smiling to the few who were there.

“I need to take some papers.” He said smiling.

Arriving in front of your office, he hesitated for a few seconds, but hearing your voice made him almost break the door.

His eyes searched for you relentlessly in the poor, illuminated room. When he found you, hunched at your desk looking at the laptop while talking on a phone, a dumb smile appeared on your face. In the dim light of the laptop, he could see the frown on your face as you saw him.

You took a short pause, then continued your conversation as normal as you could without giving the other person the impression that something was wrong, but your tone became rapid and your voice a little pitched.

He quickly entered and shut the door behind him.

By the look of his face, you knew he didn’t come to discuss work. He looked like a lost, sad puppy, looking to be loved.

You hung up quickly and rose from your desk, heading to Leon.

“What the fuck are you doing here? Are you insane?” You gestured with your hands, anxiety taking over. “What if Wesker walks in?”

“I asked your secretary before coming here; I’m not an idiot.” He said it in the most innocent and needy voice possible, making you ease up a bit.

“Still, you know how dangerous it can be. Please leave.” You said, turning your back at him and heading to your desk, pretending to organise some files. It hurt; you wanted to jump into his big arms and entangle with his body. It took an incredible amount of self-control to turn and ignore him, to ignore your throbbing heart and the heat that was rising.

You wanted to call him; you wanted to see him, but it was too risky since Wesker has spent more time with you lately. You waited for him to leave on his own, hoping he’d go soon.

Leon let out a loud sigh and looked at you with big, sad eyes. His heart throbbed again, bearing the same draining loneliness that pushed him to commit such a risky act.

Both of you sat in complete silence for a few minutes. Your phone rang two times, but you ignored it. Against your better judgement, you wanted him to do something that contradicted your arrangement. You wanted him to jump on you, to ignore this facade you were putting up, and it seemed like he read your mind.

His eyes began to study your beautiful figure, which was highlighted thanks to the tight clothes you were wearing. The tight shirt accentuated your waist, and that black mini skirt you wore left nothing to the imagination. Oh, how much he missed your curves! How much he missed touching you…

He began to move in your direction slowly, as if he were afraid that you would run away. He gently placed his hands over your shoulders and rubbed them down over your arms, feeling your tensed muscles relax under his touch.

“Leon…” you said, trying to push him away once more with the little reasoning you had left. In fact, you were starting to become intoxicated by his mere presence.

“I missed you so much…” he whispered as he leaned over you, pressing his body over yours. His head rubbed against yours, inhaling the sweet perfume that used to make him mad. He pressed his lips over your forehead, drowning in your scent, and allowed his body to react purely on instinct.

“I know… I missed you too…but this is not the time or place...please leave…”

He didn’t say a word; instead, he let his actions speak for him. His lips went lower, kissing your cheek until he boldly placed a lingering kiss on your neck. Feeling his warm breath on your neck, you let out a long sigh as you tiled your head to give him more space.

“Persistent bitch…” you whispered, and his little chuckle blessed your hearing.

With half-lidded eyes, his hands went to explore the curves of your body, small grunts escaping from his lips as he felt drowsy from pleasure.

He kept puffing and groaning in your ear with every move. His lips would occasionally kiss your neck as he indulged with you. Feeling yourself getting weaker, you placed your hands on the wooden desk as this touch intoxicated you. Doing so, you rubbed your ass over his crotch.

“Leon…” you said, no longer denying the fact that you needed him.

“I don’t care if Wesker catches us.”

He said while one hand reached your hips.

“And I don’t care if your secretary tells him I was here.”

“Leon…” you said as you felt his hand lift your skirt, exposing your ass to him.

“He can watch for what I care.”

His fingers gently tapped over the warmth of your core, thought your panties, feeling the soaked fabric with his fingertips.

Every rub and every motion sends waves of pleasure throughout your body. You kept pushing your core over his fingers, synchronising your hips with his movements. You were so desperate for his touch that even the slightest motion made you moan.

“I missed you so much…” he muffled with his head buried in your neck, inhaling the sweet scent of the perfume that was starting to wear off, being replaced with the natural scent of your skin.

You could feel a hand making its way up to your chest. His fingers struggled to push the fabric apart, and when they successfully exposed your breast, they began to play with it in a rough, desperate manner.

“Fuck…” His teeth sank into your flesh, and his grip on your breast tightened, causing you to flinch.

“Sorry babe….” He whispered in your ear. “I’ll try to be more gentle.”

Before you could remind him that it wasn’t wise for you to return to your boyfriend with hickeys and bruises on your body, he pushed your panties aside and began to search for your clit. Your pussy was so wet that his fingers were shortly coated in your juices.

His hand moved from your breast to your neck, his grip tightening as he pushed two fingers inside.

“So wet for me…” he said as he twisted and curled his fingers so slowly, as he was enjoying your squirms and moans.

Even if it’s been so long since you two were intimate, his touch didn’t become foreign. It felt refreshing, as if you were reunited with a long-lost lover.

His hand remained on your neck as he kept thrusting. He was so deep now, and it felt like he was exploring you for the first time.

The more he’d thrust, the less you’d try to control yourself. Gripping the desk and pushing your ass back, you began to synch your hips with him, chasing your own pleasure. You didn’t care how loud you’d become; you just wanted to let him know how good he made you feel.

“Fuck yes…” you said, feeling a third finger entering you.

“Not so stressed anymore, huh?”

“Shut up.”

His fingers went in and out of your puffy, slick cunt with ease, and they would be engulfed with each move. You didn’t realise until now how much you missed him.

“Leon…” you called out his name as you eagerly brought a hand to your back and searched for his pants. You wanted something much bigger to fill you.

With the hand he used to pleasure you, he quickly unzipped his pants and pulled out his erect cock. Its head was swollen and already leaking, and when your warm hand wrapped around him, he let out a much louder whimper than he had expected.

You guided him to your entrance, and when he pushed the first few inches, you collapsed back on the wooden surface as you began to feel full already. Oh, how much you missed him—his touch, his presence. He was simply intoxicating.

“That’s right, you’re so good for me.” He grabbed your hips as he began to pump into you like a madman. With his head thrown back, he kept calling your name as he got lost in pleasure. You took him so well, so easily. Your cunt alone made him push all the reasoning aside and return to primal instincts.

“Babe…” he said between moans.

The room was filled with filthy, sinful noises of slapping sounds and whines.

Leon made the mistake of looking down at you. He saw that ass jiggling with every thrust and his cock sliding in and out of you, which made his knees tremble.

“You’re perfect; you knew that?” He said it between grunts as he quickly slapped your ass.

“Uh..uhh” you tried to say an “yes” but instead you let out inaudible sounds.

He picked up the pace, going so deep until your pussy would engulf his dick completely.

“Fuck…I think imma…”

It didn’t help that you were approaching your orgasm too, as your walls contracted around him, driving him to the edge.

His pace got more erratic, and soon you felt hot, thick spurts inside you.

The room was suddenly silent, with only your heavy breaths being heard. Leon still had his hands on your hips, but the grip was lighter.

He pulled out, his cum oozing from your tired cunt down your thighs.

He spent a few seconds admiring his work until reality hit him. It was late, so late, and your boyfriend could appear soon. He didn’t regret his actions, tho.

Leon searched for some tissues to clean up some of his mess. His fingers tried to clean as much as he could his soft cock. Seeing that you needed some time to regain your composure, he quickly tried to help. You flinched when you felt the tissue between your exhausted, sensitive folds.

“Easy now.” He said as he rubbed your lower back. After that, he helped you fix your appearance; he pushed down your skirt and fixed your shirt.

“That was…bold.” You said it after your mind was getting clear.

“I know…I’m sorry��” he said in a soft tone as he wrapped his arms around your body. You rested your head on his chest and closed your eyes. You didn’t want him to go. All of this was so wrong, and yet it seemed like neither of you could stop. You enjoyed the thrill and the risk of getting caught.

You let out a long exhale.

“I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“Really?” He asked in a surprised voice.

You didn’t want to put an end to it, at least not yet. You would consume him over and over until one of you grew tired of the other or until Wesker figured it out. It felt too good to let go.

“If you don’t want it, I won’t call you.”

“No, no, it’s not that. I’m just surprised, that’s all.”

Tomorrow was good; he is out of town. This affair leaves a bitten taste in your mouth sometimes, but Leon’s touch is just too good.

[queen-mabs-revenge]

there is something so exceptional about the audio form and the kind of...meta-narrative (?) of horror it creates that really leapt out at the end of this re: dracula episode (25 Sept).

seeing the runtime of each episode sets the scene - 27:06? ok, i'm in for something here -- we have a few, uhhhhh, long-winded characters in rotation so it might not be an eventful something, but at this point in the story, we've already been gutted by episodes with longer runtimes so just glimpsing the runtime already sets the scene for heightened dread. you might set aside time to experience the dread instead of maybe quickly listening to a minute long episode wherever/whenever you are.

i luckily got to listen through without interruption and so i was only vaguely aware of the passing time in that approximate way one's body clock ever is. so as this episode came to a close, and mina asks van helsing to not reply if he agrees to meet for breakfast, the dread spiked

i didn't know how long was left in the episode -- the music was still lingering. how much time has it been? 27 minutes? it feels like it could be 27 minutes, but it also feels much shorter? can't be sure. and even if the runtime is nearly elapsed, we know from previous episodes that a telegram can take mere seconds, a journal entry just a few words. is van helsing going to be called away? is he going to cancel the meeting? is mina going to be left alone again with no answers and no friends? with the count and the 'bloofer lady' closing in? how long has the music been playing? holding my breath for the morse code. holding my breath for van helsing's voice. holding my breath for 'letter by hand'. holding my breath for 'letter unopened'...

"this episode featured..."

relief

when reading, you have the unread pages in your hand constantly telling you the story of the progress of the narrative's shape. unless every piece of ephemera of an epistolary story is set on its own separate page, you can see the next item in your eyesight. sure, even if they are on separate new pages, you can see through the printed page the shadows of the text on the next, giving you a subconscious hint of expectation.

with a film, you lose the tangibility of the physical object informing the narrative, but you have other sensory cues - something like a fade to black over the lingering music can manipulate your expectations of narrative completion (and either follow through or subvert them). if you're watching on a device, an accidental activation of the screen or cursor might give you a glimpse of the progression bar, again changing your narrative perception.

with an audio drama you're left with just the one sense as your guide. unless you're actively watching the progression bar as you're listening or actively watching a clock, you just don't know beyond your own imperfect perception of time what you're in for and fuck me the added anxiety because of that is just

whew