#has given her no choice but to be permanently on retainer for them
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Davina Claire is allowed to commit mass murder if she ever so desires. As a treat.
#the things y'all have done to this girl#after everything getting her SHUNNED from the witch community was the answer? really marcel? (and vincent)#she didn't even want this shit in the first place. wanted nothing to do with the covens.#then she was convinced into it because NO ONE wanted the position#then people were pissed she was regent. DESPITE THE FACT NO ONE ELSE WANTED THE POSITION#her best chance at bringing kol back gets hijacked#she follows marcel's advice for proving power by force by instructing for ONE witch to be killed. who had already made a move on davina#ten witches are instead killed (unfortunate but not davina's plan. she feels immense guilt even)#(and this is the only thing that's like... yeah fair if the witches don't want her after that)#but she doesn't continue on this vengeful murder path. she extends an olive branch to the witches suspicious of her (fair that they don't -#- accept but she's working on repsiring shit)#the this vamoire secret society (cult) wants her. and marcel and vincent's plan to make sure she can't be used by them#is to trick her to admit what she did to the witches so that she is cut off from the ancestors and completely excommunicated#to the point where she can't even buy shit from witches in the quarter#WE LEAVE HER ALONE FOR LIKE FOUR EPISODES#she's living in that attic she wanted to escape so bad#and now she's gonna join the vampire cults personal coven because she has no other community and it's the only method she has to res kol#like good fucking job guys. your work to make sure the vamp cult couldn't potentially pressure her to do shit for them#has given her no choice but to be permanently on retainer for them#AND VINCENT GOT COERCED BY THE VAMP CULT TO DO WHAT THEY NEEDED FUCKING ANYWAY#haven't seen a witch this mistreated since bonnie bennett#and it's almost worse cause unlike vampire diaries everyone except davina is an adult#(whereas bonnie wasn't the only teenager and she aged along with the others)#so davina's age is felt way more. and the way she is used and manipulated by everyone is just that much more awful#literally only one who actually gives her supoort is josh. and he's also a teenager (and more recently vamped)#and even then#the originals#davina claire#((i'm only around halfway through s3))
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The Galaxy Cauldron
The "Galaxy Cauldron" is the most powerful star in the universe, responsible for the cycle of life and death of all things. It is located at the center of the Milky Way galaxy, at the core of Sagittarius Zero Star. It appears at the end of the manga, crystal, and select Sera Myu.
Overview
Everything is created and destroyed within the Galaxy Cauldron - it is the source of all star seeds. All stars and planets start as tiny star seeds within the Cauldron. Star seeds form the core of all life on these heavenly bodies as well with special star seeds being sent to grow alongside them to eventually become their Sailor Guardians. The star seeds which depart from the Cauldron can travel not only through space to their destinations but also through time. When their lives are over, the fragments of these dead stars return to the Galaxy Cauldron and can be witnessed as an endless procession of butterflies.
The Galaxy Cauldron is a sea of possibilities. Every star seed which has, can, and will exist is melted down and indistinguishable within it and long ago everything was once together within the Cauldron's sea. Furthermore, if the future is changed so that a certain star seed will not be born they will continue to exist within the Cauldron as it is the source of possibilities. Those who return to the Cauldron can be reborn later as they continue to exist within it. It creates both light and darkness making not just Sailor Guardians but is also responsible for Chaos and the incarnations of darkness.
In summary, the Galaxy Cauldron is the progenitor and maintainer of the Sailor Moon universe. It is the source of everything within it and it continues to produce new stars and guide dying ones which ensures the cosmos will continue to exist forever. It is responsible for all beings within it and their sources of joy and misery. Without the Cauldron, all that would be left is the void.
Living beings can go inside of the Cauldron but it is very difficult for one to retain their physical form inside and not join with everything else within it. A few have done this though including Guardian Cosmos, Queen Serenity, Usagi, her Sailor Guardians, Chibiusa, and Mamoru.
Manga
The Cauldron first appears in Usagi's dream which Sailor Galaxia uses to lure Usagi to the Cauldron where Chaos awaits. Sailor Moon proceeds to fight her way through the defences of Sagittarius Zero Star and members of Shadow Galactica to reach Galaxia. Soon after Sailor Moon reaches the Cauldron, Sailor Galaxia throws all of the Sailor Crystals she had collected into the Cauldron and Chaos fuses with the Cauldron itself. Chaos intends to usurp the Galaxy Cauldron as the most powerful star and to rule the universe in its stead.
Chibi Chibi tells Usagi the only way to permanently defeat Chaos is to destroy the Cauldron at the same time. This leaves Usagi with a choice: destroy Chaos and the Cauldron, thus ending all war but eventually the universe itself, or preserving the Cauldron but allowing Chaos and conflict to continue. Chibi Chibi tries to convince Sailor Moon that destroying it to end all suffering is the right thing to do, but instead Sailor Moon tells Chibi Chibi to not give up on her future, to always have hope, and that living life was more important even if it comes with hardship. Sailor Moon then threw herself into the Cauldron dragging Chaos down with her, dissolving the dark entity. While doing so, Sailor Moon uses the Lambda Power of the Cosmos Crystal to regenerate the Galaxy Cauldron and the galaxy.
Usagi awoke soon after within the Cauldron and was greeted by her friends. Guardian Cosmos, the guardian of the Cosmos Crystal and resident of the Galaxy Cauldron, was surprised that Usagi and her friends could retain their physical forms. She asked Usagi if she had come to the Cauldron to throw her life into it and start a new star's history, or if she wanted to live as she was. Given the choice, Usagi said that she wanted to live her life no matter how difficult it might be to build a future together. Guardian Cosmos granted their wish, and as they were being pulled away, Usagi asked about Chaos. Guardian Cosmos told them that Guardian Chaos and the Chaos Seed had been dissolved into the Cauldron, but could be born again.
#bishoujo senshi sailor moon#pretty guardian sailor moon#sailor moon#sailor moon manga#galaxy caldron#sailor heavy metal papillon#usagi tsukino#chibi chibi#sailor guardians#sailor galaxia#sailor chaos#guardian cosmos
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Hypothetically if Spider ever managed to get an avatar and maybe it even eventually becomes his actual permanent body, do you think it’d change his relationship with the Sully family? Or is he forever doomed to be seen as a stray cat they care about kind of (when it’s not inconvenient) from time to time?
Thoughts on Spider.
After Way of the Water? No.
(Also, anon, why would you come to this blog for validation of family feels and hurt comfort? May I suggest you go to any other blog on this site, you'll be much happier.)
Because it'll come out that he brought the enemy to their camp as well as saved the corporal's life. Now, the former can be excused in that he was coerced and tortured. However, there is the messy emotional business that Neteyan died solely because of Quaritch's blind obsession with Jake Sully that Spider went out of his way to aid by showing him things they would not have considered such as flying banshees.
(Note, Spider was in a bad position, and more is a boy who just wants to be loved by somebody. This was his father who was finally noticing him, praising him, and of course while conflicted he wanted to aid him and have him be proud of him. He's also young and didn't realize that no, he's not clever enough to trick Quaritch and pretend to go along with his schemes then betray him at the last minute. That plan didn't work out.
What I'm getting at is I don't blame Spider by Neyteri certainly will.)
With Quaritch alive still and out for blood, when it gets out that Spider's the one who saved him (and it will get out), it'll seem to the Sully's that he picked sides and he didn't pick the Sully's. While I'm sure we'll have a whole thing about the kids forgiving him (Kiri especially is very fond of Spider in movie 2) and Jake telling Neyteri it's cool because "Sully's stick together" there's still not going to be great feeling after this.
I imagine, after a lot of hardship, Spider would be... tolerated at best and if possible, persuaded to go to Earth when they kick the humans out for the second time.
If they give him a consolation Avatar it'll be just that, a consolation Avatar, and I imagine he'll never remove the stigma of "other" from himself or "that time he cooperated with the enemy" (when, again, he had little choice in the matter).
Before the events of the second film, though, if an Avatar crash landed on him (or the lab had somehow managed to retain the materials to make them), I imagine Neyteri would find it weird and uncomfortable. Spider is human, in her eyes Jake had to prove himself a member of the people and effectively give up his humanity. Her children are her children, born of the Nav'i. Even Kiri is very clearly Nav'i and was born of immaculate conception (or let's not think about it). Spider has no reason to be in an Avatar, he's not fighting the humans who aren't there, and would just be doing it to... pretend he's Nav'i even more than the human scientists are. I imagine she wouldn't be thrilled, especially given it's the son of her enemy.
(I'm not saying this is rational of her, Spider is a child who literally knew nothing of any of these people, but it seems to be how Neyteri generally views him, and I don't see her loving the idea of adopting the son of her warlord enemy.
Given that, from what we see, she didn't love the idea of adopting the son of her warlord enemy in canon and kind of just let the socially awkward scientists not raise him.)
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Ghost rider RE7 AU
@baselicoc HEY HI HELLO IM SOOOOO GLAD YOU SAID THAT YOU OPENED THE FLOODGATES SO YOUR GETTING @ed I HOPE THATS ALRIGHT
*zip ties you to a chair and tapes your eyes open*
Aight this is more a collection of headcannons than an actual plot but I might get that out someday if yall are interested. For now just take some of my disjointed ramblings.
For the sake of clarity, Robbie is Ethan, and Gabe is Mia.
Robbies powers are a mix between Ethan and Evelines. He has a rapid healing factor, can talk to/control the mold, and shapeshift to a certain degree. From how he behaves in his comics I think he would respond in stages. 1. Ignore it as long a humanly possible, 2. Acknowledge it but refuse to use the more freaky powers (shapeshifting and mold manipulation) 3. Eventually start to use them but only in dire situations. He carries the same denial that Ethan does throughout the game. Robbie would absolutely ignore his newfound weirdness to a ridiculous degree, but even he would start asking questions after having his fucking hand stapled back on. The way I think he ignores this for so long is that he just latches onto what Jack Baker says during the trapdoor cutscene.
(also the fact that you fucking collect your leg as inventory kills me these game devs were on another level when making this shit)
“Use this, you can heal your leg. Come on, you can do it!” I think this gives Robbie the opportunity to latch onto the idea that the medical kits / goop juice (for all my fellow markiplier fans) / Chem fluid bottles are what allows him to keep going, not his weird mold infested biology. Given what he's seen at this house I think Robbie would resolve that if he were infected, he would need to die. Turning into a monster like the Bakers, a mindless drone like the molded, or god forbid becoming like Eveline is absolutely not an option (spoiler alert that's basically what happens).
Eventually he would realize it though. Maybe he accidentally cuts himself at the BSAA provided safe-house he and Gabe are staying at and it heals way too quickly, or he catches his eyes in the mirror reflecting in ways they absolutely shouldn't. I’m thinking he would start going to the worst possible outcomes and therefore the worst possible solutions but Gabe puts a stop to that very destructive line of thinking. Not just because Robbie still needs to be around to take care of him, but because he finds out that Gabe has been permanently affected by his time with the Bakers too. Yep, I'm incredibly predictable. I’m giving Gabe a variation of Rose’s powers. I'm thinking for the vaccine choice after Jack Baker's final boss fight ( Robbie ABSOLUTELY chooses Gabe over Zoe, there is no question about it) the vaccine just gets rid of Eveline's ability to control Gabe and not the mold infection itself.
How Gabe would feel about being infected is definitely an interesting question. Robbie probably hates the fact that he's infected but that's because he hates not feeling in control of himself or the situation he's in. For Gabe it's different. Robbie being in control of the mold feels entirely different from Eveline. Where Eveline would manipulate and force people into doing what she wants, Robbie is someone who he trusts and more than that almost seems to reject the hive mind that they are both tapped into. The mold isn't inherently evil. It just relies on guidance from whoever is controlling it, and I think Gabe would be able to understand that having experienced both Eveline leading and now Robbie. And with Robbie in the lead I think Gabe would transition from scared to woah cool pretty quickly. That and I think he would definitely enjoy exploring without the need for mobility aids. In this au Gabe had physical disabilities before encountering Eveline, but she forcibly shifted his physiology into something ideal for her ‘new best friend/ brother’. He retains his mental disabilities because removing them feels kinda gross to me.
Gabe would also have a healing factor, just not as aggressive as Robbies. When Robbie is injured the mold recognizes it and immediately does what it can to fix it; forming a protective layer over it like a weird automatic scab. This rapid healing does result in scar tissue though, and holy shit are there a lot of scars. I was rewatching Mark’s RE7 lets play and in the words of Phil Swift THAT’S A LOTTA DAMAGE. Anyway, this is fine for cuts or puncture wounds, but if he breaks a bone or dislocates a joint for example, this healing can look like a marionette being yanked around as bones are aggressively pulled back into place. It is violent healing and I imagine it would be extremely unsettling to observe.
Gabe’s is more gradual and subtle. Cuts that would heal over the span of a week heal over a few days. And because this healing is more gentle he doesn't tend to scar as easily from damage. But his main powers would focus on communicating with the mold itself as well as creating the mold flowers that we see in the ‘shadows of rose’ DLC. Those flowers are used to generate walls of mold that I think he could use to defend himself. It's like giving the mold a new starting point to grow from. He can't command it without question like Robbie can, but he does talk to them and sometimes they decide to listen. Mostly he talks to them like they’re his friends. Which is only vaguely concerning when a BSAA rep comes around the house to check on them and finds Gabe mumbling into a corner. The rep asks what he's doing and Gabe just looks at him and smiles “I’m talking to my friends in the walls!”
Speaking of which I think that Robbie would subconsciously start growing mold in the walls and around the backyard of their BSAA provided safehouse. It watches everything, and it reports back (yes I am including hive mind elements into this did you really expect better from me) following his orders as a ‘new Eveline’ (which he absolutely HATES). As a side note, it's definitely conflicting to ask myself what it would take for Robbie to kill a 10 year old girl, but mind controlling his little brother into stabbing him repeatedly and cutting his hand off with a chainsaw, while also killing and turning 100+ people into mind controlled mold monsters would probably get him close.
Robbie’s overprotective nature graduates into borderline possessiveness here. It's primarily because of the mold's influence but also holy fucking trauma batman because he thought his little brother straight up died and went through a hell on earth trying to save him (im figuring gabe goes missing for a couple weeks before robbie finds him in the Bakers House. I know in the original game it's three years but frankly I don't know how Robbie would do with that so three weeks it is). The mold is an entity in and of itself here. Outside of the Megamycite, this is an independent colony that was nearly wiped out by the person it is now attached to. Protecting Robbie and Gabe is its prime directive as a point of survival, and that desire being pumped into the already paranoid and jaded teenager has palpable effects.
But essentially the reasoning I’m putting out here from Robbies pov is ‘Fuck that should not have healed instantly without that weird medical stuff I am infected maybe I should turn myself in’ to ‘Wait wait fuck Gabe is ALSO infected but he seems.. Fine? Maybe because Eveline isn’t present anymore the mold isn't affecting either of us as aggressively?” ending with ‘Gabe seems fine, so I’m probably fine. If were both infected the same way than we should both be good. Right?’
Unfortunately of course they are NOT infected in the same way. Like I said Gabes abilities were supposed to be a ‘gift’ from Eveline. She wanted someone who she could run around and play with. But Robbie straight up DIED. We know from RE8 that he got deaded on after getting curbstomped by one mind controlled Jack Baker (following the dismemberment of course jesus Ethan had a fucking inhuman pain tolerance even before getting infected) and by the end of the game itself his entire body is composed of mold. Gabe is infected, Robbie is made of infection.
Okay this is getting really fuckass long so I’m gonna continue in a second post. Also I just. Dont know? Where to put Eli in this? I have some plans for Lisa but the stinky bastard man eludes me.
#this is extremely my niche so I dont really expect it to go anywhere but fuck it#i wrote 9 pages of ideas and i am going to subject you to them ALL#ghost rider RE7 au#ghost rider#robbie reyes#resident evil 7#most of these ideas are happening post re7 to be fair#gabe reyes#all new ghost rider#my art#sketches#its MY self endulgent AU and I GET TO DECIDE TO CRANK THE BODY HORROR UP TO 11
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Immortal Shield Chapter 45: Final Acts
**DM or comment if you want to be tagged in updates on tumblr
**To read previous chapters, hit this link
Tagging: @seradyn
The rest of the summit went accordingly. More negotiations were produced as were national goals. Countries made their pacts and solidified relations. Though he was active and obliging, Ardyn had mentally checked out long after learning of his betrothal. He had a single mission in mind once everybody was dismissed from the conference hall: confront Noctis.
Almost two years ago, when the king made his proposition to Ardyn to ensure Caelan would be safe, it was a guarantee that no matter the strife they’d come out together in the end. He felt foolish believing in such a fallacy. Ardyn had been deluded yet again by someone he shared blood with. The treachery of his late brother Somnus held no bounds. It followed his own descendants to their poor choices.
Gods, he hadn’t felt this much anger toward Noctis in ages. Ardyn understood how years ago, it was idiotic for him to take out his grievances on a person who played no role in his sad affairs, but now the current king of Insomnia made it personal. He wouldn’t show mercy to the boy just because they had settled old scores and aided the other. That much Ardyn was sure of.
Out in the grand hall, Ardyn went through the motions with his counsel. He verified meeting times and what was to be expected when they’d travel back to Niflheim. He was quick to update his phone schedule with new work orders and people he intended to meet. Every so often, he’d glance over to the king and his posse. Ardyn felt disgusted, watching everyone pat themselves on the back for a job well done throwing him under a bus. Caelan might as well have joined him too in that gruesome fate. They both had been through so much together, only to be permanently dangled at one another like carrots to a horse to keep the beast in line.
“I believe everything is in order,” Ardyn interrupted the conversation among the Niflheim council, no longer having patience. “There is a personal matter I must discuss with the king in private. If you don't mind, I’d appreciate it if half of you could seek an audience with the representatives of Tenebrae. Please get them to clarify the new trade deals they are seeking from us. For the other half, I’d like you to report everything from the summit back to Gralea. Make sure we have our own set of documentation about what has transpired, so we can verify it with the official accounts.”
“Right away,” A councilwoman bowed her head. She wasted no time in gathering up three of the council members and ventured deep into the citadel to find the Tenebrae reps. The others that remained were somewhat beside themselves but went along with Ardyn’s requests. They could sense an uneasy vibe coming off of their leader.
“Are you sure you don’t want us to accompany you, excellency?” The head council member asked. “Given the tension we all felt today, do you think it would be wise to leave you alone with the king?”
“I’m positive nothing unbecoming will happen to yours truly,” Ardyn shook his head, all the while reassuring his supporters. “I can handle this on my own. This won’t take long. I’ll be sure to report for departure.”
The last of the council members bowed their heads respectfully and took their leave. As soon as the Niflheim council was out of sight and mind, Ardyn wasted no time marching up to Noctis and his retainers.
“Excuse me,” Ardyn smiled. Doing his part to keep up with formality. “Would it trouble the king to have a private discussion?”
“Perfect timing! I was just getting ready to seek you out.” Noctis smiled. He handed off documents to Ignis, then addressed his retainers one by one. “Ignis, make sure these are processed ASAP. We don’t need Accordo getting on our case again for late paperwork. Prompto, please check in with Luna and see if she needs help with the kids. Gladio, head for the ward district.”
“Right away!” The three men said in unison. None of them wasted time to venture off to complete their tasks.
Prompto stopped in his tracks to quickly address Ardyn with a proper bow. Gladio sighed and begrudgingly performed the same mannerism. He hated how Prompto was like a boy scout when it came to formalities. Gladio didn’t stick around to talk, immediately heading off to where he was assigned by Noctis.
“Congrats on the election! We’ll have to catch up later!” Prompto sheepishly exclaimed then took his leave. As much as he wanted to stay and chat, Prompto was well aware that Luna had her hands full. The son of the king and queen had just turned two and was quite a firecracker. Nevertheless, Prompto enjoyed being able to help with his best friend's children.
“I’ll ensure these documents are situated with care, your majesty.” Ignis said with confidence. He turned his head to face where he assumed Ardyn was and gave another bow.
“Niflheim will be in good hands under your leadership. Despite our past, I wish you well with your endeavors. You should be proud, excellency.”
Neither Noctis nor Ardyn had the heart to correct Ignis for looking the opposite way. The two men had an unspoken understanding as they side-eyed each other. Ardyn quietly tip toed to where Ignis was staring, clearing his throat.
“You have my gratitude,” Ardyn replied. He watched Ignis give a final bow and then departed from the grand hall, leaving Noctis and Ardyn by themselves. As soon as Ignis was not in his peripheral, Ardyn’s gaze fell upon the Lucian king. He made a fist, feeling his anger slowly starting to return as Noctis sighed.
“I don’t know about you, but today was taxing,” Noctis said tiredly. He rubbed the back of his head, scratching at a spot on his scalp that had been irritating him for a while. “I never thought the Tenebrae Ambassador was going to get to the point regarding chocobo’s being a nuisance to farmers.”
“I couldn’t agree more.” It was hard hiding his bitterness, but Ardyn managed to keep it at bay for the time being. “Whoever chose the old fool to be a spokesperson should be shot.”
Noctis snorted, trying to suppress a laugh. “That might be a bit much, but I don’t doubt everybody in that room has thought of it at least once.”
Ardyn let out an amused huff. As much as he found Noctis’s quips humorous, he wasn’t going to fall prey to comedy.
“May we cut to the chase?” Ardyn offered. “You said you were going to seek me out. What for?”
“I wanted to check in, regarding the betrothal. I know that was--upsetting, to put it mildly.”
“Oh, you don’t know the half of it!” Before Noctis could register what had occurred, Ardyn had punched the king square in the face. His knuckles met the middle of Noctis’s nose. The king stumbled back, his hand gripped the side his face while he hissed under his breath.
“Damn!” Noctis exclaimed. “What the hell was that for!?”
“That won’t be the only thing you scream out when I’m through with you!” Ardyn wasted no time in grabbing Noctis by the collar of his attire. He hoisted the king up off his feet, lifting Noctis into the air.
“You know my history! You know what I’ve been through, and how much I lost, and now you expect me to throw away Cahl for some--some stranger?! You fed me to the wolves to save your own hide for some ridiculous policy! I should’ve known you were a scheming two-faced traitor like your forefathers!”
“Ardyn, let me explain!” Noctis pleaded.
“N-no!” Ardyn growled. “I gave you one too many chances! I put my trust in you with that godforsaken plan! I haven’t seen or spoken to Cahl in almost two years because of you! Do you have any idea how long I’ve suffered!? None of you idiots would relay my messages to her, and none of you kept me informed about her well-being! I had to learn through random channels! For all I know, she’s withering away in some cell! I’ve waited long enough! Now you’re going to tell me where I can find Cahl or so help me I’ll--!”
“I made arrangements for both of you to see each other today!” Noctis interrupted as he yelled aloud. He glared straight down at Ardyn, gritting his teeth from the pressure being put upon his neck from Ardyn’s grasp. He could see there was hesitation in Ardyn’s cold stare, a reluctance to pursue any further.
“What are you talking about?” Ardyn hissed. His voice was still raised. “Don’t play games with me, boy!”
“If you put me down, I’ll explain myself.” Noctis swallowed, he could taste blood in the back of his throat. He didn’t believe Ardyn broke his nose, but he had damaged it quite extensively.
“I know you’re angry with me. I can’t blame you. I haven’t been forthcoming, but I’m asking you to give me grace. C’mon, neither of us can afford to cause a scene! I know this wouldn’t put you in a good light with the public. I don’t want your image tainted because we had an altercation. What do you say?”
Ardyn hated to admit it, but Noctis had him second guessing his own righteous anger. His eyes searched those of his grand nephews, face tensing before Ardyn relented. He carefully placed Noctis down, not before giving the king a shove for the sake of distance. Ardyn looked away, hearing Noctis’s heavy breathing while the king composed himself.
“Let’s take this outside,” Noctis sniffled. He rubbed the outer part of his nose with the sleeve of his shirt, then gestured with his head. “We can walk the top grounds while we have our discussion. The air would do well clearing both our heads.”
“Just shut up and lead, highness.” Ardyn muttered.
The spring air of Lucis carried a sweet aroma that traveled through the gentle winds. The change in atmosphere from the grand hall to the outside world settled the nerves of both Ardyn and Noctis. They were silent as they made their way across the bridge and to the citadel’s right tower. Along the way, a few palace workers made their curtseys. Some were visibly shaken at the state of Noctis’s face but no one commented for it was none of their business.
When Ardyn and Noctis reached the top grounds, the former was impressed with the scenery. A terrace garden graced his eyes, filled with different red and orange flowers. Some Ardyn didn’t recognize at first glance. A few fountains were strategically placed among saplings growing in large containers. If he didn’t know better, Ardyn would’ve thought they were in the gardens, and not at the top of the citadel where the king and queens personal housing was located.
“I’m not sure much of the greenery can endure at this elevation for long.” Ardyn quipped. He couldn’t help himself.
Noctis scoffed, shaking his head. “I didn’t take you for a gardener.”
“I was a healer. Gardening and maintaining the sick isn’t much different.” Ardyn shrugged. “The old masters from my youth told me, that if I couldn’t keep the most basic of plants alive, I stood no chance curing people.”
“I think that’s a concept that should be brought back to the medical field.” Noctis said as a matter of fact. He motioned with his right hand for Ardyn to follow him towards a pergola. The shaded walkway led to a path that encircled the entirety of the citadel’s right tower. They walked side by side, keeping distance but remaining close. There was an unspoken agreement between the two to keep things civil that could be read in their body language. This being his home, Noctis began to feel more at ease.
“Luna has the green thumb between the two of us,” Noctis began. There was still much tension between Ardyn and himself. He decided some light conversation would open the floor. “She came up with an initiative to bring life back into this place. Both my father and grandfather were minimalists. They didn’t do much with the gardens nor decorum. I’m far too busy, so Luna took the mantle of maintenance.”
“How noble of her.” Ardyn mused. He didn’t say it aloud, but Ardyn appreciated the little glimpse into Noctis’s personal life. It helped him reconcile with the bitterness he had felt not long ago. “How has your queen been of late?
“Luna’s doing well. She’s going to be making a pilgrimage soon, in honor of her ancestors. Tenebrae will be hosting her. It’ll just be me and the kids for a few weeks. I’m looking forward to spending time with them.” Noctis smiled. His gaze drifted on to the purple flowers that were drifting off the cross beams above them. He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck.
“The betrothal was Luna’s idea, by the way.” Noctis admitted. He looked over, seeing Ardyn’s shock. “I’m not supposed to tell you, but I have the results for who you will be marrying.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me…” Ardyn sighed, rubbing his neck in the same fashion as Noctis did prior. The king couldn’t help but see the similarity and made a face, feeling a chill go down his spine at the mannerism in which they had in common. It was spot on.
“So, who is it then?” Ardyn said aloud. “What poor soul did you all decide to bind to me?”
Noctis raised a brow. “I thought it was obvious?”
“I’m afraid I get rather dense when I’m frustrated to no end. You’re going to have to spell it out for me.” Ardyn sighed. He pinched the bridge of his nose. When they came to the end of the pergola path, Noctis guided Ardyn over to a gazebo that overlooked the city. Both the men went for a pair of seats to rest, sitting across from each other.
“Well,” Noctis breathed out. “She comes from a long line of family that served as crownsguard to Lucis. Her father stained the family’s reputation, but she more than makes up for it. She’s something of a champion among imperials, which will continue to help you score points with your constituents. Recently, she was absolved of some rather nasty accusations. I’m sure you can look past it, and see that she’s a good match. Of course there’s the part where you two traveled together for months. Plus last I checked, she was your shield.”
Ardyn’s face slowly started to change. Going from confused and bewildered, to suddenly feeling as if a train had ran him over without a second thought. He felt his heart beating thunderously in his chest. A cold sweat began to trickle down his neck. His breathing became irregular, stirring a bit of a panic within himself. Then came the elation. The wave of euphoria that couldn’t be matched by the rush of blood he felt to his chest.
“Cahl?” Ardyn’s voice was meek. Probably the softest any living person had ever heard. Noctis couldn’t help but stifle a laugh, unprepared for the reaction. Nonetheless, the king nodded. His smile grew into a grin.
“This isn’t a cruel joke, right?” Ardyn was quick to assume the worst.
“No, no it’s not.” Noctis reassured. “Caelan Zamfir is your betrothed. You both are to be wed a week before your coronation as emperor, in five months time. Lucis will be footing the bill for the wedding as a courtesy.”
Ardyn blinked several times. His hands rummaged over his face, carding through his hair and drifting to the back of his neck. He repeated these motions several times in vain to calm himself. He felt a plethora of emotions hit him at once. Anxiousness, exhilaration, and fear were the primary three. He was thankful Noctis stopped talking for a time, giving him plenty of room to breathe and calm his racing thoughts.
“I don’t understand,” Ardyn shook his head. He turned his neck, looking toward the cityscape. Insomnia’s endless towers offered him something to fixate on while he continued to ease his mind. “How did this all come to pass?”
“Are you upset with the outcome?” Noctis couldn’t help but ask.
“No!” Ardyn exclaimed. He observed Noctis jump, and quickly motioned with his hands he didn’t mean anything threatening. Ardyn then settled his hands onto the arms of his chair, his fingertips gently tapped on the surface.
“Can you enlighten me as to what happened behind the scenes?”
Noctis leaned forward some in his chair and let out a deep breath. Unfolding everything was not an easy task for him, considering how hard he had to work to make sure things aligned. Nevertheless, Noctis knew he owed Ardyn an explanation. Not just for the outcome, but why certain conditions had to be met for Caelan to come out on top.
“Let me preface by saying, this wasn’t the original plan the guys and I had in mind.” Noctis clarified before he continued.
“I didn’t anticipate Cae’s trial would take long. Two months at most from what I gathered. When the guard began to uncover Julian Zamfir’s slaughter--and the gravesites began to pile up--I had no choice but to keep her in custody, and extend the trial period. Given the sensitivity of what came to light, I couldn’t afford to let Cae interact with you. Not just for her protection, but yours. There were a number of people that wanted the Homicida to perish without seeing the evidence.” Noctis paused for a moment and got up from his seat. He ventured to a cooler that was nearby that Ardyn didn’t realize had been there the whole time. The king opened the top, and brought out a few drinks, passing one to Ardyn before sitting back down.
“Around that time, Camelia had a heart to heart with me about my crownsguard failing to contain you in Altissa. She didn’t outright say it, but she deduced your stunt was theatrics. That you intended to set Cae free and not kill her. She tried to get me to admit we played a role, but I held my ground. Said you went rogue. She backed off after that.” Noctis furrowed his brows, recalling unpleasant memories from that conversation. He didn’t like lying to Camelia, but he went to the grind on that one to keep the reputation of his friends and country intact.
“What gave me away?” Ardyn’s concern was present in his tone. He watched Noctis shrug then make a face.
“Apparently, you looked at Cae in a certain light. Camelia said she knew everything you said about not having relations with your shield was a farce after that.”
“Can’t say I didn’t try.” Ardyn let out of a puff of air and rolled his eyes.
“You’re not exactly subtle with your affections.” Noctis pointed out. He uncapped his soda, and took a swig.
“Anyway, to keep up appearances that you intended to kill Caelan, I decided to keep you both in the dark. That meant limiting my own contact with you as well. Camelia launched her own private investigation into what happened. I didn’t want to risk her finding out the true nature of our interference. Gladio caught some of her troopers intercepting messages sent to Cae--which we put an end too--but if they happened to be yours, well--I’m sure you could imagine what would’ve occurred. If Camelia didn't push things, and the threats to Cae weren't severe, I thought the guys would be able to smuggle her over to Niflheim. Once both your trials passed.”
Ardyn hummed in thought. His neutral gaze went to the bottle cap of his drink before he unscrewed it and tossed the metal piece elsewhere. Not catching the brief glare Noctis gave for the act.
“I must admit that was wise of you,” Ardyn admitted. He took a sip, finding the taste too sweet for his liking then plopped the bottle beside the left chair leg. “I’ve wanted to snap your neck for it all, but I understand now that your hands were tied. I apologize for my earlier indiscretion.”
Noctis made a face. “I’m gonna ignore you just said that.”
“By all means. Whatever helps you sleep at night, highness.” Ardyn teased. His brows knitted into a worried look, focusing back to the overall conversation. “So…this doesn’t explain the betrothal piece. How did you get me scooped up into that?”
“I’m getting there,” Noctis motioned with his right hand for Ardyn not to jump several steps ahead. The king collected his thoughts, then proceeded after taking another drink of his beverage. “Tenebrae sprung the betrothal during a private meet while the elections at Niflheim were taking place. I didn’t think much of it, until I was informed you were involved in the elections. I honestly didn’t believe you’d get chosen, so it was of no consequence to me until lo and behold, here you are.”
Ardyn smirked briefly at the final remark. There was much he wanted to comment on, but held back. He could tell there was more to the story, and allowed Noctis to continue on with it.
“I didn’t know what to do. It was a few weeks before Cae’s trial, and I was at a loss. Luna in her hour of wisdom, brought to my attention the ward law. She suggested I select Cae to be betrothed to you through that. While I negotiated with the jury to remove the death penalty, I planted the idea among them. They didn’t have to take my advice, but I succeeded.”
“I seem to be missing something,” Ardyn interrupted. “How does Cahl being a ward help with this?”
“I forgot, you didn’t have such things back in your time.” Noctis cleared his throat. He felt a bit foolish for the assumption. “A ward under Lucis means someone who has been convicted of a high crime, but they are not worthy of imprisonment due to a series of special circumstances. Cae hit most of the checkmarks. As a ward, if I the king summon her to perform duties on behalf of the kingdom, she’s legally bound to my command. Some tasks I can give to a ward include being conscripted for war, to act as backup crownsguard, and I can marry them off for political alliances.”
Ardyn was quiet for a long while after Noctis finished. Mixed feelings dwelled in his heart. He didn’t appreciate how Caelan was essentially reduced to a political tool, an end to justify the means. Logically he understood Noctis played the best hand he had available. Though Ardyn wasn’t comfortable having someone be forced into an arrangement such as marriage, he considered himself and Caelan both lucky. At least if she still harbored feelings for him. He didn’t feel ready for that conversation.
“What about the tension surrounding Accordo?” Ardyn piped up, deciding to distract himself from his contemplations. “I doubt Madam Secretary was fond of the idea given mine and Cahl’s transgressions.”
“Don’t even worry about it,” Noctis shrugged nonchalantly. “The prime courts of Tenebrae, Lucis and Accordo voted on the matter since it’s part of the peace treaty terms. You’ll come to find everyone is meticulous with global policies than before. Everything is combed through and everything gets a vote where needed. It was a landslide win Caelan be betrothed to you. Even if Camelia convinced her courts to vote against it, Tenebrae and Lucis have the numbers.”
Ardyn tilted his head, raising a brow suspiciously at Noctis’s remarks. “I fail to see how people voted in favor of this union given that I allegedly tried to kill Cahl.”
“Well, you don’t exactly have a stellar reputation among most,” Noctis said honestly. He finished off the rest of his soda, tossing the empty bottle into a bin nearby from his seat. “Many think forcing you into marrying someone you ‘despise’ is a reasonable punishment for your past, considering they can’t lay a finger on you. Everyone assumes both you and Cae are going into this blind.”
“Oh woe is me,” Ardyn said sarcastically. He and Noctis both chuckled from the remark. Ardyn deeply sighed, letting everything fall into place before he asked what was considered the most important question.
“Does Cahl know what’s to be done with her?”
Noctis shook his head. “No, I thought it would be best if you broke it to her.”
“That’s rather cruel of you, highness.” Ardyn said bluntly. “To place a burden like that on myself. You’ve already thrown so much upon me.”
“Consider it payback for when you played a hand in arranging Luna and I to get hitched.” Noctis snorted. The mockery in his tone he could tell struck a nerve in Ardyn, and he watched while his ancestor looked puzzled by the statement.
“I thought you were ecstatic with your betrothal?”
“Oh, don’t get me wrong I'm thankful.” Noctis nodded. “But initially, you can only imagine how scared I was. And stressed. So it’s only fair you eat shit too.”
Ardyn laughed, shaking his head in disbelief. “I guess I do deserve it…”
“I think we covered all our bases. I won’t keep you waiting anymore.” Noctis said as he got up from his seat, watching as Ardyn followed suit. He motioned with his hand to the bridge where they had come from, then pulled out his phone to check if he had received a text from Gladio.
“I sent for Cae to meet you here at the palace gardens,” Noctis said as he texted back to his retainer. “Gladio picked her up. She hasn’t been notified of your arrival, so I hope it’s a good surprise. You’ll both have privacy. No one will be going in or out of the garden for the next few hours.”
“I owe you a great deal, Noct.” Ardyn murmured. There was a sincere gratitude in his eyes that Ardyn himself didn’t think he was capable of expressing. Ardyn didn’t like being in debt to others, but in this case he made an exception. He was happy to have been wrong about Noctis. The boy did have a heart after all.
“You saved my family and me,” Noctis said earnestly. “It’s only fair you get a loved one back.”
Noctis gave a nod in acknowledgement to Ardyn. There was still much trauma both he and his ancestor needed to unpack from years ago, but the king was beginning to see light at the end of a dark tunnel. This circumstance provided an opportunity to mend the last of their grievances with each other. If anything, Noctis looked forward to the future more than ever. The potential of working alongside his former adversary may signal a new age. One where his descendants would never have to face the Astrals and their endless tribulations.
"Safe travels back home." Noctis bowed.
“Until the next meet then,” Ardyn bowed, finishing up his pleasantries. He wasted no time sprinting off, not wanting to keep Caelan waiting any longer. It didn’t matter if he had his fears and doubts, Ardyn needed to see her again.
“Ardyn!”
He stopped in his tracks, turning around to face Noctis as the king smiled and hollered.
“Walk tall, you got this!”
Ardyn rolled his eyes, shaking his head and shouted back.
“You just had to say it!” He could hear Noctis laugh, then watched as the king motioned for him to get a move on. Ardyn went back to running. He smiled genuinely for the first time in almost two years.
Caelan was sitting by a fountain, situated underneath a large tree. The parterre of the palace gardens was lush. The gentle sound of plants carding their leaves against one another could be heard accompanied by whistling tunes of birds. There were flowers and greenery as far as the eye could see. Most of the flowers were shades of white and blue, matching the king and queens representative colors.
Caelan hadn’t seen anything quite like this. She was so taken that she forgot to ask Gladio why she had been brought to such a place. Then again, Caelan had her doubts she would’ve been able to ask anything given how quickly he departed. She assumed he was busy, and didn’t have time to linger. All Caelan knew was that she was waiting to meet a representative. Whatever that entailed, Caelan hoped it wasn’t anything too serious. She braced herself for the possibility that the king would ask her to go back to being a crownsguard. That was the only logical explanation she came up with.
While listening to the water and admiring more of the scenery, a figure began to take shape in Caelan’s peripheral. She did a double take before settling her eyes on a familiar face. Caelan froze. Her heart leapt into the back of her throat while her eyes widened. She slowly began to rise from her seat, never once taking her sight off the man that drew closer. Her chest began to rise and fall with haste.
Ardyn came to a halt when he stood about ten feet from Caelan. He felt time for the briefest of seconds pause. Every nerve in his body fired off, wanting to rush and embrace Caelan with all the might he could conjure. Alas, Ardyn allowed himself to admire her. His eyes traveled over her body, remembering what it was like to lay beside her while they camped. How it felt getting to know every curve and crevice when they made love. How enrapturing it was to hold her hand and talk to her. He was overwhelmed in the best of ways.
“Time hasn’t cast its spell on you.” Ardyn said quietly. He watched as Caelan chuckled, shaking her head in doubt. Her eyes were watering up.
“You have a beard now!” Caelan pointed out, watching Ardyn grin as he shyly looked down at his feet.
“Yes, your doing I’m afraid.” Ardyn said as he looked up at her. He bit the inside of his bottom lip. “You told me long ago I should change things up so people didn’t get spooked at recognizing the Adagium. I dare admit you’re right. It’s worked in my favor.”
Caelan laughed. She couldn’t believe he remembered that conversation when the two went to help Florens. She took a few steps forward, pointing out his hair.
“The small braids and the half up ponytail my doing as well?”
“Guilty as charged.” Ardyn smirked.
“And…glasses?” Caelan raised a brow, not expecting to see those on his person.
“Oh, these!” Ardyn had the item hanging from the collar of his overshirt. He gently plucked them off, glancing over the black frame before tucking them into the pocket of his large black coat.
“They’re my reading glasses. I can’t see text well up close.”
“The perks of being mortal and flawed.” Caelan said sarcastically, giving a sigh. She smiled while Ardyn laughed at her comment.
“I assure you, I’ve been enjoying my mortality and all it's wonders.” Ardyn said as a matter of fact. Once their chuckles died down, he rubbed the side of his neck. There were a million different ways he could approach Caelan, and indecision was nipping at the back of his mind. He could tell it was the same case for her, both unsure where they stood with the other.
“You look so official,” Caelan broke the silence, wiping away at her eyes. She sniffled then cleared her throat. “I take it you’ve built a nice life for yourself?”
Ardyn let out a nervous laugh, scratching some of the scruff of his beard. “You can say that. I’m--well, I’m the emperor of Niflheim.”
“What?!” Caelan exclaimed.
“Hmm hmm.” Ardyn nodded. There was a playful glimmer in his eyes while he watched Caelan’s jaw drop. She was near speechless.
“How?”
“Well,” Ardyn sighed while he adjusted the collar of his shirt. “After the imperials voted not to behead me, I was sentenced to serving the empire. I started off as a consultant. I’ll spare you the politics. From there I made some gambles that paid off that ended up putting me on the ballot. So here I am!”
Caelan was surprised at how well Ardyn was able to condense something so profound into a few sentences or less. It was a talent most couldn’t come by, even with practice. She had missed that about him. He could either be straightforward or longwinded, and no one would know what they'd get.
“How long do you serve for?”
“Five years as emperor. Another, if I’m re-elected. Once I step down as emperor, I’ll serve the rest of my life as Niflheim’s chief adviser. The weight of responsibility and being mortal seemed a just punishment for my wrongdoings. I can’t outlive everyone I don’t tolerate in politics so unfortunately, I can’t weasel my way out into a different career.”
Ardyn chuckled as did Caelan. He felt goosebumps travel up his spine. Hearing her laugh again at his less than humorous remarks felt like breathing for the first time. That first gasp of breath powerful enough to solidify his place in the world.
“I’m afraid I don’t know much about your predicament for I was kept blind.” Ardyn said as he furrowed his brows. “We’re you treated well during my absence?”
Caelan nodded. She felt some relief come over her, hearing Ardyn was kept in the dark much like herself. She wondered if Ardyn knew the reason for why they couldn’t keep in touch during the separation, and why of all times they were allowed to finally reunite.
“I stayed in a decent part of the keep,” Caelan began. By now, Ardyn and her were walking side by side through the garden. Both still minded each other’s space. “I didn’t get to go outside a lot, but Prompto and the guys made sure I was comfortable. I’m a ward now. I live in a small district not far from the palace with others like me. It’s nice. Not exactly a dream come true, but I’ve been managing.”
“Cahl,” Ardyn cleared his throat.
“Hm?”
“I don’t mean to be too forward but,” Ardyn stopped walking as did Caelan. He faced her, staring deeply into her eyes. “I need to hold you. May I do so?”
Caelan didn’t say a word and initiated the contact. Her arms quickly snaked around his shoulders, hands clasping into place while she felt Ardyn hug her by the waist. Neither of them cared how tight their grips were, nor the fact they were losing breath. Sighs of relief left them as their bodies swayed against the other. Old and new scents began to familiarize themselves as did touch.
Caelan felt a few stray tears cascade down her eyes while she lifted her head up. Her face having been buried in Ardyn’s neck for a time. She blinked while looking around the gardens, trying to keep herself from flying away though she was tethered to him.
“Why,” Caelan whispered. Her fingers gently carded through Ardyn’s red locks. “Why are you here?”
As soon as she said the words, Ardyn adjusted. He swallowed while his cerulean eyes trailed over Caelan’s face.
“I’ve come to take you home with me,” Ardyn murmured. “To Niflheim.”
“What do you mean?” Caelan was confused, watching as Ardyn’s confidence began to wane.
“Well, it’s up to you…I mean, in a manner of speaking.”
“You’re being cryptic.” Caelan teased.
“My apologies,” Ardyn chuckled. “I’m a little nervous. I haven’t done this in a long, long time.”
“Talking to me?” Caelan quipped.
“Well, there’s that.”
They both laughed. Once their antics died down, Caelan’s hands remained on Ardyn’s shoulders. Ardyn’s hands rested at the small of Caelan’s back, his fingers trembled against her clothes.
“You’re a ward of Lucis,” Ardyn cleared his throat. “I’m sure you’re aware of where you stand in the grand scheme of things.”
Caelan nodded. “I’m basically a glorified servant with a title.”
“You’re no such thing in my eyes,” Ardyn’s tone held a warning. He made it clear he wasn’t going to tolerate hearing such proclamations. The dominance of it made Caelan let out a breath she wasn’t aware of holding back.
“Myself and the world leaders wrapped up a summit today. We discussed peace terms between Niflheim and Lucis. Cahl, they--well everyone voted the best path to peace is marriage. I’m to be engaged.”
“Oh,” Caelan bit the inside of her cheek and slowly parted her body away from Ardyn’s.
Ardyn could feel his own life leaving from his eyes while Caelan began to retreat. His body inclined forward, trying in vain to get back what was lost.
“Cahl--”
“If you’re here to tell me goodbye for good, please make it quick. I can’t--”
“Cahl, let me finish.” Ardyn reached out and gently grabbed Caelan’s right hand. His fingers squeezed around hers. “I’m to be engaged as are you.”
For Caelan, the importance of Ardyn’s words didn’t register right away. They repeated in mind as she settled her breathing. It felt scary in ways, reacting to basic impulses without a second thought. That was something she loved about Ardyn. How he easily pulled the devil out of her. While she calmed down, feeling his thumb tread against her flesh delicately, Caelan’s eyes widened. The epiphany hit her and she was paralyzed.
“Wait,” Caelan breathed out, turning her head to look at Ardyn. “Us?”
Ardyn slowly nodded, offering a small smile as consolation.
“How in--”
“You’re a ward. The king can do whatever he pleases with them. Including marry them off for political alliances. So…you’ve been selected to marry me. For a peace treaty.”
Whatever grit Caelan had left in her dissipated. The dam had broke, and she was crying heavily. Barely a noise left her shaking form while Ardyn let go of her hand, and rubbed his eyes. To Caelan, he looked as if he had shot her and was just now registering the impact of his actions.
“Every step I’ve taken to get me here, was so I could have enough power to free you.” Ardyn pleaded, trying to alleviate the sudden responsibility he had thrown onto her.
“I wish there could’ve been an alternative. I don’t like how this is forced, and I’m sorry this burden falls to you. Just because you and I have been betrothed, doesn’t mean we have to adhere to marriage. I know a lot can happen in a year. I hold no expectation that you to still love me as you once did. And if you harbor feelings for someone else--I can find a way to ensure your happiness.”
Ardyn watched on helplessly while Caelan quietly sobbed into her palms. He wanted to bundle her up into his arms and comfort her. It conflicted with his desire to give Caelan space and the possibility she might not yearn for his touch ever again.
“You’re an idiot,” Caelan murmured. She looked up from her hands, seeing the inquisitive and mildly offended look Ardyn gave and laughed. “What the hell would I do as empress?”
Ardyn tried to suppress a smile, but it couldn’t be helped. He understood then why Caelan had rightfully called him a fool.
“Whatever you want!” Ardyn motioned his arms out for emphasis before they fell to his sides. “Rule at my side. Remain my shield. Go to school like you wanted. Explore Niflheim on your own. Stay at home and do nothing. I don’t care what you do.”
Feeling alright with approaching Caelan again, Ardyn ventured to her side. He carefully cupped the right of her cheek. His thumb wiped away at Caelan's tears while he smiled at her warmly.
“What matters is that you and I are together. I’ll take whatever amount of yourself you’ll allow me to have. I’m yours.”
Caelan took in a deep breath, exhaling slowly while she nodded against his palm. Her head leaned more into Ardyn's touch.
“Are you fine with this arrangement?”
“Ask me.” Caelan teased. Her smile grew so big she could feel her cheeks burning.
Ardyn chuckled. He gulped without meaning to, and stared in between her lips and eyes. Not wanting to miss a single micro expression.
“Will you marry me, Cahl?”
“Yes. Yiisu isa tamdents nyemi.”
“Good,” He sighed. “Casuuway aMdents tanteel ot maatsua ji a aakeyuth tome.”
Ardyn’s words drifted away, taken back by Caelan’s insistent kissing to his mouth. His lips shuddered against hers, shocked at the intensity and warmth that overcame his senses. Tremors fired off in his arms. He felt as if his body had been swept into a tide, and the waves kept crashing against him; never once letting him savor air. He was in utter bliss as was she. Her fingers carded through his hair, remembering where Ardyn liked to be tugged. His hands clasped on either side of Caelan’s neck while his fingertips slinked up to her face, holding her still while he ravaged her. This kiss had a little bit of everything that made up the sum of their relationship: passion, admiration and, reverence. All was known and ever would be.
Neither could remain in the ocean of their fervor. They both came up to the surface, gasping for air while sharing breath. With a mischievous smile, Ardyn gestured with his head to Caelan. Before she could ask what he was alluding to, he had grabbed her by the hand and escorted her quickly out of the gardens.
“Ardyn, where are we going?” Caelan made a face, suppressing a bout of laughter while he stopped briefly upon reaching the exit. She watched Ardyn use a free hand to text on his phone, quickly shoving the device back into his pocket after the message had been relayed.
“I’m taking you to Niflheim! I said you were coming home with me. I messaged for the airship to be ready for our arrival.”
“Wait,” Caelan grabbed a hold of Ardyn’s shoulder, stopping him from pursuing yet again. “I’m not permitted to leave Insomnia. In our case, probably not until the king gives me away when we are married.”
“So?” Ardyn raised a brow. He smirked, watching Caelan avert her gaze. She couldn’t withstand grinning even if the Astrals blessed her with resilience.
“Since when do you and I follow the rules?” Ardyn brought Caelan’s hand to his mouth, gently kissing the top of her knuckles. His eyes swam with devotion as he murmured.
“We make our own rules. We’ve done our time and played our parts. You’re coming home with me. Today.”
“What about the king--”
“Fuck the king!” Ardyn waved off her fears. Their laughter intermingled and their feet carried them to the airship awaiting them outside the palace gates. Nothing could touch either of them, for they finally had everything that had been taken.
All was well for the immortal and the shield.
Notes:
Yiisu isa tamdents nyemi= Yes is my answer
Casuuway aMdents tanteel ot maatsua ji a aakeyuth tome=Because I've wanted to marry you for a long time now
**THE STORY ISN'T OVER, THE EPILOGUE WILL BE UPLOADED SOON**
#ardyn lucis caelum#ardyn izunia#ffxv fanfic#ffxv ardyn#original characters#plot heavy#kind of the last chapter but not#idgaf if its sappy as shit#or cliche at the end#have at it bitches#immortal shield
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Random crack TUA au: The siblings, when growing up are numbered based on their powers. Number One has strength, Number Two can control trajectories, etc. HOWEVER: none of the siblings have a set power. The powers that they have bounce around from one sibling to the next and who has what power at any given moment is entirely random.
This also means that their numbers constantly fluctuate.
Luther is Number One the most, but sometimes is Number Six, or Number Two. Sometimes Luther has super strength, sometimes he can see ghosts... Likewise, Diego is sometimes Number Two, sometimes Number Seven, can sometimes teleport, or create energy waves from sound, etc...
This changes things.
For one, Vanya is never isolated growing up.
Secondly, growing up is twice as chaotic and the number rankings mean less overall to the siblings’ self-worth.
Thirdly, Five’s name constantly changes. Or it did.
Vanya never gets drugged and isolated by Reginald because it is her powers that are dangerous, not her. And Reginald cannot control who has her powers, since they aren’t actually hers. Whoever retains the ability to contort and control soundwaves varies on a day to day basis, sometimes even on an hour to hour basis.
When Vanya cracks Reginald’s lens, instead of drugging Vanya, Reginald produces the soundproof chamber for any sibling who should use that ability against him.
He creates his plans. But he does not drug Vanya.
Reginald very quickly learns how the siblings’ powers function, and is sure to train all of them in how to use each power. They all end up going through a wider variety of training to master each individual power. Through this, a lot of siblings go through the same, or very similar, training sessions.
The siblings develop closer bonds sometimes because they understand each others training a bit better. Klaus is there to talk to Ben when he happens to be the next unwitting beholder of the ability to see the dead. Luther and Diego convene over being pushed to teleport too much. Five and Allison bond over having to lift too many weights.
But they can also be just as distant with one another. While there isn’t the fissure of their number status to hold them back as much, they are encouraged to be just as competitive with one another over who can master specific powers better. And this particular competition can be vicious, especially since some of them struggle with some of the powers more than others.
(Vanya and Five both struggle with seeing the dead. In fact, all of them struggle with this ability. Diego seems to have the best grip on it sometimes, but then he entirely fails with this ability other times, so it’s a mix. Klaus struggles with super-strength. Diego struggles with rumours. (Diego hates this, since he is the one who struggles with rumours the most. Luther struggles with them too, but not as noticeably, since Luther struggles more on word choice.) Five struggles with controlling soundwaves.)
Some of the siblings have more of an affinity to particular powers. This can mean either that they are better at using these powers, or for whatever reason, they receive certain powers more often then they receive others.
Luther tends to be better at using strength, despite breaking things a lot. He tends to have strength more often, too. Five has an affinity for using teleportation, but only because he has mastered the calculations much more easily than his siblings. Klaus has the ability to see the dead more often than the others, despite his dislike of the ability.
How each of the siblings grow up drastically changes.
Klaus gets a lot of breaks from the ghosts, Ben isn’t the only one who has to learn to control the Horror, Vanya isn’t the only one who can use sound based powers.
When they hit 13, things change even more. Five permanently becomes Number Five, rather than whatever number is assigned at any given moment. Because when they hit 13, Five leaves, taking the ability to teleport (and time travel) along with him.
(Five makes the same reckless decision to use his powers to time travel to the future. He grows up in the apocalypse and his powers never change, because there is no one for him to switch powers with. He’s alone.)
The rest of the siblings grow up and leave. Their powers still fluctuate, but as they get older, the power switches come less often. Klaus holds onto the ability to see the dead for weeks. Luther can rumour people for months. They still switch powers with one another. But not as often.
This changes so much. Allison can’t rely on rumours as often growing up, and her career as an actress is vastly different. When Luther is injected with the serum, he doesn’t have his super strength to support how his body mass has changed, and this drastically impacts his physical health.
This time, in this au, Vanya doesn’t cause the apocalypse. This time, something else does.
(And when Five arrives back to stop the apocalypse, when he stands up and sees his siblings for the first time in decades, he clenches his hands. But the familiar ripples of blue don’t appear. For the first time in decades he can no longer teleport. A fact that is both relieving and utterly jarring.)
#this is a complete crack concept#pulling from other ideas I've seen around#particularly from the idea of 'what if the siblings Numbers constantly changed?' that I saw somewhere#as well as the 'what if the siblings shared powers' that I saw somewhere else#but yeah#I kind of like it#I have so many crack AUs sitting around it's not funny#tua au#my tua au#crack au#tua crack au#tua#the umbrella academy#this isn't fully fleshed out either#does Klaus still do drugs?#probably but I don't know if it would be to the same extent or by the same causes#does Ben still die? If so what power does he die with?#Whatever power he dies with probably gets removed from the switching system#for continuity purposes we can say that he died with the Horror#but what if he died with the soundwave power? or with the ability to rumour people?#some thoughts I suppose
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History of Witchcraft Part 1
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What are some common misconceptions with witchcraft?
witches do not sell their souls to the devil
you don’t have to subscribe to any particular belief system or set of rules to be a witch
Not all witches are wiccan
wiccan isnt your only choice when becoming a witch
Christians can be witches
Jewish can be witches
Muslim can be witches
pagan, wiccan, atheist, anyone can be a witch
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MAGIC VS. RELIGION
What separates magic from religion is the lack of a deity. this doesnt mean the lack of believing in a god or goddes, just the choice to not work with one. There is nothing wrong with choosing against working with a deity. The most important part of witchcraft is working with nature and energies to better yourself or your area.
However, the religion and witchcraft often go hand in hand as many witches are pagan or wiccan (or any other religion) where they work with one or more deities.
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MAGIC AND WRITING
As most religions, witchcraft also has holy books or books that are used as outlines in your personal craft (or coven craft). Most people know it as a grimoire. Going back to the religion part of magic, many deities and aspects are closely related to writing or studying, which makes keeping a grimoire or book of shadows very important to a lot of people, as it honors their deities or themselves.
Throughout all of witch history, keeping a book of your practices was very common, up until the 14th century, which is when it became illegal to have possession of a magic book. This lead to the persecution and death of many witches. One person who was punished was Bernard Delicieux, who owned a book on necromancy and was sent to prison for it.
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MAGIC VS. SCIENCE
During the 17th and 18th centuries, occult magic was quickly being replaced with stage magic, in the name of “rationalism”. It was making a mockery of actual witches, mocking the struggles they were going through, the persecution and death they faced for following their own paths.
However, the concept of “science” changed throughout history. Ancient civilizations believed that spells and offerings to deities could cure the illness of loved ones, so magic was already science to them. Later on, Aleister Crowley (who is not a great person, but I digress) stated that magic was “the science of understanding one’s self and one’s condition.”
Continuing on, during the early 1940′s, Sigmund Freud and Carl Gustave Jung began to observe the origins of magic, leading to Jung publishing a book called “Psychology and Alchemy” which would relate the symbols from both subjects. Freud, in the 1920s, claims “words and magic were in the beginning one and the same thing, and even today words retain much of their power.”
Currently, it is hard to say and undecided whether magic is scientifically proven, or if it is just a placebo effect in the brain to simply convince the witch or practitioner that magic is leading to their successes or failures, but it is proven that the two subjects have been intertwined with each other since the beginning of time. It is possible that magic is just unexplained science.
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Earliest forms of Magic
According to cave paintings, the earliest signs of magical thinking can be found in sites like Lascaux in the south-west region of France. The found cave paintings were in hard to get to areas, which could have been to protect ones practice or spells. In the Trois Freres cave, there seems to be another early “Shamanistic” painting, depicting a sorcerer.
Though French caves have the earliest pictures of magic, the first spells and incantations were found in the site of ancient Sumer, around the 4th - 1st millennia BC. Around 1900 BC, Akkadian, Babylonian, and Assyrian cultures had permanently taken over Sumer, leaving Babylonia to produce clearer spells that were taken from the Sumer civilization.
Ancient Babylonia itself was filled with depictions of spirits and demons, said to be terrorizing the civilians daily. These include Lamashtu, who targeted pregnant ladies, and Lilith. (Lilith has since been adopted into the Jewish religion, making her closed. Read my post on cultural appropriation to learn more.) To protect the people of these demons, amulets were created to provide protection.
Not only this, but astrology is said to have first originated in the Mesopotamian area.
Later on, the knowledge of the spells and magic were passed onto the Egyptians, who started to practice divination and had the belief that the life force, named Heka, was present in everything around them. This was the earliest sign of animism to date. Priests were said to be gaining knowledge from Throth, and provided magic to all who needed it. The teachings of Throth were written in a book, “Book of Throth”, and is said to have been buried under the Nile River and protected by a spell that was given to it by the priests.
But, as most things, Ancient Egypt fell due to Alexander the Great. Because of this, the religions of Hellenism and Egyptian merged, creating a new-ish religion in about the 2nd to 4th century AD.
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This is just the beginning of the history, and I will certainly be making more posts about this as I go along.
Remember that I love you all, and you are worthy of love. Be kind to yourself.
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CHAPTER EIGHT FINALE
When: March 19, 2022. Where: South Beach.
Once again, rain returns to Meridium. As thunder rumbles on the horizon and the sky begins to turn dark, some of you recognize your salvation before it comes to the island. But your begging for it doesn’t drive it off: raindrops begin to spatter on the sand slowly, then faster, until it’s a downpour.
The drumming noise of rain is nearly drowned out by the horrible screeching and chattering that fills the air. There is a new darkness in the sky above some of your heads as the creature panics. Its shadow darts around above your head, frantic, before its many shadowy shapes flee toward the shelter of the Heart Tree. And then it is gone. For now.
Not all were saved. Some unfortunate souls, like Flight, Bolt, and Jetsetter, were simply too entranced by its spell. They wandered into the flames without so much as a glance back. You will not be seeing them again.
Some things were saved, though. None of you will retain permanent memory damage from this. Some memories will come back slower than others, but bit by bit, you will all recall who you are. Furthermore, you will remember what you did and said during your interactions with the beast.
In the hours following the beast’s disappearance, some retreat to their homes. Others take stock.
And one emerges from the lagoon.
One man whose coughs cut through the pattering sound of the rain as he hoists himself up over the edge of the expansive pool of water. Those who have been huddled around since the discovery of the camera freeze. As does the man, once he’s taken to his feet and taken in the sight of the many wide-eyed faces staring at him.
He raises his hands slowly. “I mean no harm,” he says in a level voice. “My name is Thulani Kaba. And that...” One of his hands drops to point, a new light sparking in his dark gaze as he catches sight of something familiar. The thing that has made his face familiar to many of you, given it was so heavily featured in the footage. “Is my camera. I dove into the water after dropping it. And somehow... I’m here.”
It’s Seamus who steps forward with the camera in hand. “You came from the North Beach, then? Through the lagoon?”
The strange man squints. “I... don’t think so. Where we were wasn’t any sort of beach. If I had to guess...” He turns his head, gaze raising in spite of the rain that lashes down on all of you. “I’d say that we came from in there.” A sure hand points again toward the high mountains that severed North Beach from South.
“‘We?’” Esther echoes and Thulani turns back with a nod.
“Not many. But there are more. A small group of us that survived the –” He begins to explain the creature but is cut off when a child’s shrill shriek fills the air. Flora Hardy, held in her adoptive mother’s embrace, flails her arms toward the familiar figure and he breaks into a relieved smile. “Baby! My God – we were taking care of her after her parents – well – anyway, she fell into the water and we thought...” He doesn’t conclude that sentence. Instead, Thulani clears his throat and gets back to the topic at hand, now with a chubby toddler hand wrapped around a few of his fingers.
A new fact arises: there are three lagoons. One on the North Beach, one on the South Beach, and one within the mountains. All connected. The passing shadows you saw many months ago were the presumably the figures of those inhabiting South Beach. They were there all along. Now, it would seem that the more recent shadows have been the shapes of those who took to the interior caves of the mountain to hide from the beast. Or of course... there could always be other lagoons.
Whatever the case, you’ve learned something new about the island now. It is your choice what you will do with this knowledge. Now is a time to regroup. Or perhaps a time to prepare.
After all, who knows when the beast might strike again?
To the muns…
This concludes Chapter Eight: The Beast! You’ve unlocked some new lore with this one – can’t wait to see what you explore with what you learn.
In the wake of this event, the skeletons of Flight, Jetsetter, and Bolt will be retired. They’ll be making room for new South Beach skeletons who you’ll learn more about soon!
You may take as long as you need to wrap event threads.
During this interlude between chapters, keep your eyes peeled for some plot drops and tasks – including our second AU event, coming soon on our Discord server!
Thank you for joining in on yet another exciting event!
#chapter eight: the beast#stranded event 8#stranded event#spn rp#supernatural rp#magic rp#island rp#supernatural town rp#apocalypse rp#mature rp#original rp#established rp#lsrp#lsrpg#literate rp#rp#rpg#roleplay
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Yoruichi’s Soul
What if I told you that perhaps Yoruichi has a unique soul?
With the release of the latest chapter, we learn some interesting things about Shinigami. My intention isn’t really to write about Hell and its implications, but it’s pertinent to the point I want to make, so it’s a fine place to begin and I’ll address some asides along the way. Here is what Shunsui says in a fanlation:
There is a word, “reii” (spiritual authority). It’s a unit of measurement that used to be utilized by the nobles, and is said to represent the concentration of reiatsu that resides in reishi. The average division member has a reii of grade 20. Vice-Captains vary between grade 5 and grade 4. And Captains consist of grade 3 and higher. A Soul Reaper’s body is made up of reishi, and when they die their body turns into reishi and returns to the earth of Soul Society. But people classified as grade 3 and higher can't do that because their reiatsu concentration is too high. What allows them to return is this ritual, “Soul Funeral Festival”. This is what’s taught at the Soul Reaper Academy.
What I am about to say is the “superstition”. “Actually, reishi of grade 3 and higher cannot return to the earth of Soul Society no matter what.” So what should we do? We can’t allow reishi that’s too powerful to remain in Soul Society. The Soul Funeral Festival’s real purpose is something else. With this ritual, the deceased Captains are—[Sent down to Hell!]
And here is the translation by Shueisha themselves:
There is something called... spirit class. In the past, it was a scale used among aristocrats. It indicated the density of the spiritual pressure within reishi. A normal company member has 20th-class reishi. An Assistant Captain has fifth or fourth class. And those greater than third class are Captains. A Soul Reaper's body is composed of reishi. When they pass on, their body turns into reishi and is reclaimed by the soil of the Soul Society. But anyone above third class has spiritual pressure too dense to be reabsorbed without intervention. The Konso Reisai is a ceremony to allow that reishi to be returned. That is as much as we learned at the Shinoreijutsuin.
This next part is the old wives’ tale. In actuality... reishi that is third-class and above can never return to the soil of soul society. So what are we to do? It’s not as though we could allow overly powerful reishi to linger loose in Soul Society indefinitely. And therein lies the other reason behind Konso Reisai. With the ceremony, the deceased Captains are... [... Cast into Hell!]
I think you’ll find these both strongly agree in content, despite some slightly different word choices. To recap:
reii is a graded measurement of (the ratio of) reiatsu per unit of reishi
reishi with reii above grade 3 / third class (i.e., that of Taichō) does not decompose and retains its reiatsu indefinitely
this is a problem that must be dealt with
the solution is to cast such reishi into Hell
There’s a lot of discussion floating around regarding what all this means. Does this mean that all Taichō-class individuals go to Hell? Well... yes, actually. What Shunsui says here is unambiguous: any Taichō-class individual presents a problem. This means that say, Gin, Kaname, Kiganjō, and Kuruyashiki were issues that had to be dealt with. Now, it does seem like maybe Jūshirō, Retsu, and Yamamoto have been turned into wardens of Hell rather than merely incarcerated there, given what we see of Jūshirō’s zanpakutō. So perhaps it’s the case that loyal Taichō become wardens (truly, one never retires from the Gotei 13, even in death) and disloyal ones become incarcerated. (After all, why put traitors in charge of security?) But it’s unambiguous that all Taichō-class individuals must be dealt with this way—and indeed, so must any entity with sufficient reii.
(An example: this means Ulquiorra is merely dead, not gone. He should be essentially haunting Las Noches.)
I’ve always wondered what Ganju meant in chapter 83 when he said that Kaien’s powers were “sixth class” and now we know; Kaien, as a former Fukutaichō, is likely not in Hell, as his reii grade was initially sixth class and probably had not risen higher than fifth or fourth by the time of his death.
(There is probably also something to be said about Retsu’s remarks to Ichigo in the Dangai on the way to Fake Karakura regarding the possible “inherent crudeness” of his reiatsu, which suggests there is some kind of reiatsu quality.)
Okay, cool, but what does any of this have to do with Yoruichi? Well, I’m getting there.
Take note that the Konso Reisai / Soul Funeral Festival is happening 12 years after TYBW (in 2015) and is apparently reconstituting individuals in Hell with their personalities and memories at least partially intact (as Jūshirō still has his zanpakutō). This tells us that reiatsu represents a kind of spin on the concept of genetic memory... you might call it energetic memory. Everything that an individual is in Bleach is seemingly encoded within their reiatsu, and they can seemingly be reconstituted from it. (I am also told that Spirits Are Forever With You makes this explicitly true.)
Here’s the rub: this isn’t actually the first time we’ve seen this sort of thing.
It’s become evident that various tie-in media to Bleach have become quasi-canonical to the manga. The movie Bleach: Memories of Nobody was made quasi-canonical by Ichigo saying in TYBW that he’d been to the Valley of Screams once before, along with panels depicting its appearance in that movie and a note at the end of the chapter to see it for more information. The Zanpakutō Rebellion arc was made quasi-canonical through the novel Can’t Fear Your Own World. This latest chapter appears to make quasi-canonical some elements of Hell from the movie Bleach: Hell Verse.
Well, what happens in this chapter with reiatsu persisting and functioning as a record of a Shinigami’s essence, to include their personality and memories... is exactly how Kagerōza created the mod-souls he used to run his reigai army in the Gotei 13 Invading Army arc.
Everyone of Fukutaichō rank and above, except for Yamamoto, Sasakibe, and Yachiru, was copied as a mod-soul and put in reigai, to include Kisuke. We also know that this done by using traces of the reiatsu of the originals. Ichigo and Yoruichi were not subject to this.
Kagerōza eventually “reveals he is unable to make a reigai of Ichigo because he is not a pure Shinigami.” We can assume that because Yachiru is a zanpakutō herself, she can’t be copied. Yamamoto and Sasakibe present an interesting case, probably to do with some kind of warding. Another odd exception exists with Kagerōza’s refusal to copy Aizen, Gin, and Kaname; presumably he thought that once a traitor, always a traitor.
But what about Yoruichi?
Did she perhaps kill her reigai copy off-screen? In Episode 319 of that arc, she “fought three Shinigami captains and four lieutenant-level and above opponents at the same time with Hakuda without receiving any notable damage.” I’ve noted this before as an example of her martial prowess, but think about it tactically from Kagerōza’s perspective. Yoruichi is able to easily resist his forces, and he can make multiple reigai copies of an individual as he demonstrates with Momo. If Yoruichi was such a pain for his reigai to deal with, and he’d already copied her, why wouldn’t he just make another? Or several more?
The simplest answer is that he couldn’t. In say, the Zanpakutō Rebellion arc, the easiest (metatextual) answer as to why Yoruichi’s zanpakutō didn’t rebel wasn’t that she had some unusual mastery over it, but rather that there was no desire to come up with her zanpakutō. However, there was no reason for a reigai copy of her not to appear if it was at all possible... meaning it was likely impossible.
The fact that her zanpakutō didn’t rebel in that other arc (and that metatextual reasons do not make sense in-universe) does put her in yet another very small club, even if its membership is different (to include Kisuke this time). The only other really consistent member of the clubs she finds herself in is Ichigo; this suggests that Yoruichi’s soul is unique like Ichigo’s, if not in the same fashion or to the same extent.
Why might that be? Well, here are some possible options:
it’s all a coincidence, and there is nothing more significant to it
Yoruichi’s cat form makes her soul novel (A. perhaps her cat form is an expression of her zanpakutō and she’s permanently bonded with it; or B. perhaps her cat form is hereditary, as she seems to share phenotypic expression with Yūshirō and it is unlikely to be merely her heritage alone)
Yoruichi’s status as Tenshiheisōban makes her soul novel somehow, if one subscribes to the theory that the Shihōin are themselves the actual Tenshiheisō
Here, for this roleplay blog, I subscribe to a combination of (2b) and (3). Yoruichi has a unique heritage (which also accounts for the strange phenotypical expression) and her family (the Shihōin) have a sort of unusual “contract” with... well, the fundamental nature of reality itself. Regardless of whether one agrees with those choices in general, I think two things are clear:
the expansion of reiatsu put forward in this chapter was both presaged in the early manga and accords well enough with the previously anime-only Gotei 13 Invading Army arc that said arc may be considered pseudo-canonical as others have become
if that arc is taken as pseudo-canonical and complexed with other pseudo-canonical material, it suggests that there is something strange about Yoruichi.
#Out Of Character#Bleach#Meta#Headcanons#[ I'm sure it's easy ]#[ to go 'DUCKY IS HYPING YORU AGAIN' ]#[ but look ]#[ she has ]#[ observationally ]#[ consistently ]#[ the most weird stuff surrounding her ]#[ besides Ichigo ]#[ so like ]#[ take it up with Kubo / Shueisha / SP ]
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Chapter 39
of the wwx emperor au I’m thinking of calling Fuck the Canon: Happy Endings For Everyone
Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 Part 1 | Chapter 8 Part 2 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 Part 1 | Chapter 15 Part 2 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Chapter 18 | Chapter 19 | Chapter 20 | Chapter 21 | Chapter 22 Part 1 | Chapter 22 Part 2 | Chapter 23 | Chapter 24 | Chapter 25 | Chapter 26 | Chapter 27 | Chapter 28 | Chapter 29 | Chapter 30 | Chapter 31 | Chapter 32 | Chapter 33 | Chapter 34 | Chapter 35 | Chapter 36 | Chapter 37 | Chapter 38
The meeting concludes in a way that is more than satisfactory to the Emperor, if not so satisfactory to the rest of the Council.
Jiang FengMian is to retain his title of High Councilor, but only to soften the blow of the abrupt transition of power. A period of five years has been determined as sufficient for this task. Uncle Jiang will use those years to guide his replacement in the court intricacies and details of his responsibilities, which will ensure full transparency in this particular shift of power.
The choice of the next High Councilor had been the bloodiest battle of the day, one that had drawn the meeting to a standstill for hours. Wei Ying would not budge from his choice however, and once fully aware of his intentions, uncle Jiang had given his firm and unquestionable support. With uncle XingChen’s help, they had wrangled the Council into submission, skillfully enough where Wei Ying had felt guilty, all over again, for nearly causing uncle Jiang to qi deviate that very morning.
Shijie will make an excellent High Councilor. Behind her gentle voice and agreeable manner, there is strength of conviction that the Sect Leaders will find as unyielding as a rocky mountain side. Wei Ying cannot wait to see her turn all that sweet charm and strength of will against Sect Leader Yao, or any of the other men long accustomed to Jiang FengMian’s flexibility. Wei Ying may actually start attending Sect Leader meetings regularly, just for entertainment’s sake.
With the High Councilor being forced into retirement within five years, and the Council itself on the verge of dissolving, the question of the Emperor’s marriage to a Second Young Master of a disgraced Sect is no longer as grave as it would have appeared under less serious circumstances. It was immediately apparent which Sect Leaders had spent their morning in close talks with the Royal Companion. These men, fidgeting and nervous, had voiced their support for the marriage before Wei Ying could even fully voice his intentions.
He had never felt the need to ask A-Sang what particular leverage he has over certain sect leaders, or how he had come to obtain it. A-Sang has always been eerily skilled at ferreting out their secrets and honing in on their weaknesses. The information A-Sang has on them must be significant, because they would not be influenced to withdraw their support, regardless of the pressure from the other Council members.
Wei Ying is allowed to marry anyone he chooses, Lan Zhan included.
It is a good day, and he feels immeasurably happy leaving the council hall, watching the Sect Leaders drift away in a daze, as if physically beaten into submission. He had promised Lan Zhan that he would give him time to speak with his uncle, to speak with his brother, to consult with the Lan Sect Elders. He had promised as much time as Lan Zhan wants or needs. Still, it is a struggle not to immediately seek him out and make the proposal again, properly this time, with all the pomp and ceremony.
He will not. He will be patient. But.
Someone should inform Lan Zhan that the Council has reached a favorable decision. This is not information that Lan Zhan should obtain second-hand, through gossip and idle chatter. Wei Ying will not pressure him, but informing him that the Council had given its unanimous approval would be the proper, respectful thing to do. It is nowhere near the thing Wei Ying actually wants to do, which is to fall to his knees and latch on to Lan Zhan’s ankles and beg him to agree to the marriage now.
Perhaps if he only strolled by the Imperial guest chambers. Casually. And happened to catch the sight of Lan Zhan, perhaps he could--
“Wei WuXian!”
The shout echoes against the high ceiling, rebounding down the hallway with force.
There is only one person who would dare shout his name in the Jade Sword Palace, and that person is currently waiting for him at the South Lakes Pavilion. Also, A-Cheng rarely disrespects him in public, unless Wei Ying has done something truly obnoxious.
He turns to find Jin ZiXuan striding down the hallway, his sword drawn, his face red and furious.
Uh-oh Wei Ying thinks.
He had forgotten all about him.
“Wei WuXian!! How dare you!?”
His voice is nearly obliterated by the sound of blades being drawn all around them, both Imperial Guards and the Jiang Sect forming a wall in front of Wei Ying. Jin GuangShan, who is not the member of the Council, and yet, is always somehow found hovering in the vicinity of every Council meeting, throws himself in front of Jin ZiXuan.
Wei Ying has never before seen Jin GuangShan look visibly terrified; it is not nearly as amusing as he had expected it to be.
“What are you standing there for?” he snaps at the four disciples following behind Jin ZiXuan, all four clearly distraught, “Grab him.”
Jin ZiXuan wheels on the four disciples, sword at the ready, as if daring them to try.
“Please forgive my son, Your Majesty,” Jin GuangShan exclaims, “He has been ill lately, and speaking nonsense. We have had him confined for his own safety. I will take him back immediately. ZiXuan, your mother must be worried to death! Let us go back.”
Jin ZiXuan is practically vibrating. Wei Ying has never seen the Young Master of the Jin Sect this overwrought; he would not have thought it possible.
The dignified, puffed-up peacock is acting like an absolute madman. It is fascinating to watch. Wei Ying wishes A-Sang was here to see it for himself.
“I demand an account of the Emperor!” the youth shouts, “I demand to know why my betrothal was dissolved! I have the right to know!”
“You have a right to nothing!” Jin GuangShan shouts in his face, his beard quivering in agitation, “It is not on you to question the Emperor! Your Majesty,” he turns to Wei Ying, his smile sickly, “As you can see, he is not well. Please do not listen to anything he says. This illness is a personal matter, one that will be resolved quickly.”
“I am not ill!” Jin ZiXuan shakes off his father’s insistent grip to point his sword at Wei Ying, as if unaware of the three dozen swords that point at him in turn, “I demand an answer!”
Wei Ying does not have an answer, at least not an answer that would satisfy Jin ZiXuan. The dissolution of the engagement was nothing more than a power move in a game he had intended to win at any cost.
Shijie knows that Wei Ying will eventually allow the marriage to take place. He would never deny her happiness for his own gain, even if he cannot possibly comprehend what happiness can be gained from marrying into the Jin Sect.
But Jin ZiXuan does not know that the dissolution of his betrothal is not a permanent measure. And apparently, he feels quite strongly about this, a revelation that is somehow both satisfactory and annoying.
“Your Majesty,” Jiang FengMian says, “I do believe that Jin ZiXuan must be seriously ill. Otherwise, he would never act like this. Please allow Sect Leader Jin to take his son back. We will summon the Head Healer immediately.”
Jin ZiXuan looks as if he may stab the next person who suggests that he is ill.
“Nonsense,” Sect Leader Yao exclaims, just when his opinion is least wanted or needed, “No illness excuses such disrespect. Any man who speaks to the Emperor in this way should be accused of inciting rebellion, and his life be made forfeit.”
Jin GuangShan looks horrified. Jiang FengMain grimaces into his beard.
Wei Ying does not want to laugh, but it is incredibly difficult to keep a straight face. Sect Leader Yao, who would slander his own mother if it gained him favor, accusing someone else of disrespect. A-Sang will be furious he has missed this performance.
“Put him in the dungeons for now,” Wei Ying says, “Let us see if his head cools. Do not hurt him!” he adds quickly, as the Imperial guard advances to seize Jin ZiXuan’s sword.
Predictably, Jin ZiXuan fights them, and predictably, he loses, although Wei Ying has to admit that the boy’s skills are fairly decent.
“Your Majesty,” uncle Jiang begins, his voice concerned, “the Young Master’s illness--“
“He is not ill,” Wei Ying snorts quietly, so his voice would not carry to Sect Leader Yao, “He is young, stupid, and angry. I identify, but cannot condone such behavior in public.”
“Your Majesty,” Jin GuangShan is kneeling, his face as gray as the stone arch behind him, “I beg leniency for my son. He is truly not well--“
“Sect Leader,” Wei Ying interrupts coldly, “Do not invite me to speak words we may both regret in the future. Your son had drawn his sword with the intent to cause harm to the Emperor. What possible leniency can you seek that I have not already shown?”
Jin GuangShan says nothing else, and his silence is somehow more unsettling than all the falsehoods that so frequently spill out of his mouth. He remains kneeling even as Wei Ying gathers his escort, and continues down the hallway as if nothing of significance had occurred.
“This will cause problems, Your Majesty,” uncle Jiang says softly.
“Then do your job, and ensure that it does not.”
#the untamed#cql#mdzs#ficlet#m#wwx emperor au#jin zixuan makes an ass of himself#wei ying is not amused#well#maybe he's a little amused#we're getting to the#it's my story and i'll do what i want#part of this au#😂😂😂#the next chapter will be sad and miserable#fingers crossed another 5-6 chapters to go#and probably an epilogue in multiple arts#ily chickens
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HEY REDWALL FANDOM
It’s 4AM and I can’t sleep so I’m going to rant for a little bit about something my brain won’t shut up about.
There’s this fic I read some years ago that aggravates me to no end. Not because it wasn’t well written, oh no. Quite the opposite in fact. It was a more mature story than the books with the main themes being that what creature you are born as doesn’t affect your “goodness” or “evilness” and that everyone has the rights and freedoms to make choices for themselves.
The main player in this story was a badger lord seer (whom we will refer to Seer from here on) who had seen a prophecy of a great evil/era of upheaval and uncertainty (which he implies will be caused by the corsair sea-rats) and set about gathering a force to combat it. He however didn’t really care what species you were and accepted even groups of vermin bandits into his army so long as they vowed to adhere to his code of conduct. Which was really simple in “do no harm and let no harm come to the innocent” type of stuff.
So while Seer himself seemed grim and unapproachable, his army revered him for he had given them a sense of purpose, brotherhood, and honor. He united many races that were once enemies and trained them all into fierce yet honorable warriors. So while we as an audience may find him unnerving, he’s set up as the protagonist whom we are meant to support.
Now is where things start to go off the rails a bit.
His younger brother, whom we’ll call Rage, apparently doesn’t like the fact that Seer is allowing “vermin” into his army. Specifically because Rage hates rats because of the corsair. Rage, unfortunately was cursed with an extra hard dose of the typical badger lord berserk rage and isn’t as good with tactics as Seer is. But because Seer needs Salamandastron for some reason, he tricks Rage and the Long Patrol out of the mountain and takes it for himself.
Okay so it’s just a spat between two brothers, one of which is obviously a bigot so we root for Seer here right?
Well when Rage returns he notices that Seer has given sacred armor crafted by previous badger lords to his troops of rats who also happen to be right at the front of the army. Not his squirrels, not his foxes, only the rats. Rage, obviously, goes into a rage and decimates the rat soldiers and is eventually killed due to his blindness. The Long Patrol is permanently ousted and retreat to Redwall. When questioned by the Abbot later, Seer absolutely avoids the question of “did you intentionally bait your brother instead of trying to talk to him”.
Here’s where my suspension of disbelief starts to fail.
Earlier in the story it’s made clear that any creature in Seer’s army may leave at any point due to the fact that every beast is free and can exercise that freedom (so long as they don’t harm others). We actually see this happen when his force of otters and shrews leave after he uses MUSTARD GAS on a fort of villains, brutally killing them in what the otters believed was an dishonorable way. (Oh did I mention Seer is super intelligent and understands science and math that allows him to create amazing things like submarines and a tower near Redwall with a giant mirror that lets them get messages to Salamandastron quickly?) Anyway, Seer tries to refuse their resignation which the otters throw back in his face due to the aforementioned policy of freedom of choice.
This is where I get angry.
After winning the mountain, Seer parlays with the corsair king. You know, the leader of the slaver pirates that Seer hinted might be the cause of the great approaching upheaval? So what does Seer offer him? If Corsair will give up all the woodland slaves (mice, otters, shrews, squirrels, moles, ect.) Seer will replace them with all of the rats of Mossflower and beyond. All of his rat troops who served him loyally as well as any free rats in the country, evil or not, were just sold into slavery without their say in the matter. Because it is very much known by everyone that the rats replacing the slaves will not be treated like new crew members but as slaves themselves.
What absolutely infuriates me is that Seer’s army just goes with it. They don’t put up a fight, even if the rats are confused and a little hurt by this choice, they go along with it because Seer hasn’t steered them wrong yet. Which makes absolutely no sense when you think about how Seer has been preaching freedom up to this point. Heck, when Redwall begins offering sanctuary to any rat that can make it into their walls, (because absolutely screw any and all forms of slavery), Seer sends his squirrels to patrol the woods and capture any that try to make it to the Abbey.
Why would Seer’s army, who have been proven to be smart, kind, and honorable by this point, ever agree to this? Many of them most likely have at least one friend in the rats. Even if they accepted their comrades willingly chaining themselves to the oar benches, they would most certainly not agree to kidnapping free beasts who never joined Seer’s army. I just does not make any sense and is literally the only problem I had with this story.
Finally we get to the twist that shakes everything and cements this fic as one of the best pieces of Redwall fiction I’ve read.
We have a scene towards the end with Seer in the Prophecy Room of Salamandastron. He gazes upon the original prophecy of evil and upheaval, and then moves on to the next one which he never mentioned. One that states that the badger lord seer could only be defeated by another seer. A rat seer.
Everything he’s done; creating an army of mixed races, building a huge tower in the fields near Redwall, killing his brother to take the mountain; ALL OF IT, was for the single purpose of eliminating rats from the land. Seer was the antagonist all along.
It almost worked too.
In the Redwall world, it’s well established seers can have visions of almost everything, except other seers.
The rat seer, we learn, foresaw that she would need to go to Redwall to retain her freedom, but not why. So she and her family got to Redwall before Seer sent his squirrels to patrol the woods and he can’t do anything because if he attacked the Abbey he would lose any remaining support he had.
So all of this change he made, this era upheaval and uncertainty he caused, was for nothing.
I can’t remember if the story continued on after this point and had the rest of his men realize they’re following a mad prophet but I was tossing and turning all night at their blind faith in following him into becoming genocidal slavers.
So anyway if anyone can find this story I HIGHLY recommend it but be prepared to get irritated towards the end.
UPDATE!!!
The fic in question is The Crimson Badger by Highwing and the more I remember about it the less appealing it is. Lots of grimdark deaths, out of place sexism, and strange prudishness concerning premarital sex abound in this so I change my stance from “highly recommend” to “read at your own risk”.
#Redwall#The Crimson Badger#Salamandastron#Badger Lord#Redwall Abbey#seer#seers#badger#rat#there were also these two cool characters#a mouse chained to a stoat#they were friends and the mouse wanted to help the stoat with his drinking problem#edit!#yeeesh this is a lot worse than i remember
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Why did you stop shipping Gabela? I ship unpopular ships and I don’t care if I’m the only one shipping it. It’s annoying sometimes that what I write doesn’t get a lot of attention but being a content creator means making stuff I like even if it doesn’t get notice at all
The simple answer: Because, Dear Anon, no one cares about the ship and, by proxy, my content.
The long answer: I get what you're saying. I do. But, unfortunately, it doesn't work that way for me. Writing the content may be fun for a time, but once I post and have to wait and wait and wait for comments that never come, it stops being fun. I have said it before and will keep saying it: I expect feedback for my work, especially when I worked so hard to let the fandom know who I am. It honestly hurt (past tense) that they would eat up my canon content and analysis but not touch my creative content with a ten-foot pole simply because I picked an underrated ship.
A hard truth of fanfiction is that a well-written fic is worth NOTHING if you don't use the right characters/ships/tropes. And honestly? I hate that.
Rounding back to Gabela, it's this need for validation that eventually led me to give it up. I tried hard to keep it up. I really did. And I had a few people here and there with me until... THE EPISODE happened. "Norberg Peace Prize" confirmed Gabaomi as a thing and the entire fandom dynamic shifted for the worse. And I honestly felt like the biggest idiot in the world for not SCREEEEEEEAAAAAMING over it when the episode premiered. Its premiere is also the reason I wrote "True Love." And do not tell me that romance was NOT the show-runners' intent. It totally was and they just can't say so publicly. Following that episode, every ship for Gabe and Naomi was abandoned except that one. And with mine already teetering, that was the final thing. The Gabela ship busted in half and sunk, leaving me alone with nothing but a piece of driftwood.
Now, Elenaomi retains a decent following, but for Gabe, Naomi is the top choice. At least in the spaces I frequent. And you know what? The shippers are right. They're meant to be and Carla would be stupid to think she ever had a chance given how incompatible with Gabe she is. I've read so many posts that make wonderful arguments in favour of Gabaomi and, because I'm not a multishipper, I eventually had to concede.
Then, as time went on and we saw more hints in later episodes that everyone kept screaming about, I felt like the universe was telling me that my time was done. That no one cared and there was no point in my posting to an empty room. Plus, considering that there's been NOTHING posted in the ship channel (which I now believe was a mistake) for them in over a year, I think it's obvious there's no interest in the ship.
Also, the later shift in the fandom that brought in a group of canon purists who turned down every ship that "wasn't canon" and all listed Gabela as their NOTP didn't help.
Anyway, in the end, I overhauled the entire Mirror World Timeline post-graduation. And, in case you're wondering what happens to Carla in that timeline now, she remains permanently single. After her crush is crushed, her love life just never pans out. She's a bridesmaid 13 times over by the time she's 26 and stops believing in love and romance and has to learn to be happy with just herself.
So... Yeah. I stopped shipping them because I couldn't take the silence anymore.
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Reset Eda?
So @kprapture brought up the idea of Eda being de-aged back to her pre-curse self, the typical antics she’d get into with Luz… And how Lilith might consider the idea of making this reversal, this reset, permanent- So Eda could live the curse-free life she properly deserved, with a support network of a wiser Lilith, Luz and King, a Hexside that would let her study multiple tracks, etc. And this idea is just messing me up, because…
There are two ways to approach this. Option A, Reset Eda has no memories of her original life growing up, getting old from the curse, meeting Luz, etc. Option B, Reset Eda DOES retain those memories;
Option A would be messed-up, because it wouldn’t just kill the Eda we know… It’d effectively wipe her out of existence. If there’s an afterlife for the Boiling Isles, which there probably is since the Oracle Coven exists, and we’ve already seen at least one ghost in this show… Then, I don’t see Eda choosing this option on her deathbed, because then she’d never move on to the afterlife, maybe never get to see her parents, and then catch up with her loved ones when THEY inevitably die…
The thing about Eda, is- I think she doesn’t regret her life. She doesn’t regret the decisions she’s made, and ultimately she’s content where she’s ended up, especially since Luz and King are there. Having written about her in the past, I see Eda as someone who if given the chance to change it all, would have it remain the same; Yeah, her life isn’t ideal, but still. Eda owns what happened to her, she makes it her own, and I don’t think she’d want to let go of that, alongside her sense of identity…
Now, there ARE better ways to learn the things that Eda, ways that are less painful and torturous. Whatever Eda learned from the curse, she could’ve easily learned without it- It’s why she’s so adamant as a teacher towards protecting Luz from the traumas that Eda herself endured… Because Eda knows that Luz can learn just the same things she did, without having to go through that pointless pain. And maybe some lessons just aren’t worth it, but what’s done is done so you may as well make the most of the knowledge you got. That trauma isn’t going away… Except in this scenario, it could.
It’s kind of an ethical dilemma, and I could potentially imagine Eda maybe, just maybe, considering ‘sacrificing’ her entire existence up until this point, to pave the way for a better, happier Reset Eda… I’ve talked a lot about Eda being used to loss and trying to weaponize and make the most of it by turning into a sacrifice for the greater good, for someone else to benefit from her tragedies. Maybe Eda might see it this way- Giving up her life so some other kid, as this Reset Eda would be considered ‘different’ from her, can have a happy and better life…
But the thing is; Eda’s life is saving, she knows this, an entire crowd knows this and protested against Belos over this indisputable reality. She doesn’t have to die, just to ‘save’ a life that neither exists, nor is meant to… Eda can invest that energy into other kids who already exist, or are intended to be by their would-be parents, and she certainly doesn’t have to DIE just to make life better for them! Eda can even invest that energy into making herselfhappier, her own life better… Yes, her time on this world has unfortunately been shortened thanks to the curse, but it’s still there and remaining, and Eda DID have plenty of time with it that she ultimately made the most of.
I’ve written about it before, but I think that Eda would ultimately decide not to change a thing, she made it clear to Lilith that living as a wild witch would’ve happened even without the curse, and that was Eda’s intention as a child before she learned of the curse no less. And, I can see Reset Eda agreeing… Because if Reset Eda is presented with this reality, with Luz and King and Lilith explaining how she grows up with a curse, and the kind of life she lives… Well, we see how young Eda casually tosses aside the Coven System to her sister. She’s very much Go Big or Go Home, the kind of person who fully commits to her own actions and owns them, fully accepting what happens. I think Reset Eda would at least appreciate the perspective she’d get from her cursed life, and how it can be helpful towards vouching for that kind of thing to never exist for anyone else…
Now, Reset Eda might hesitate about getting cursed- But if it’s to save and retain herself in a sense, her own actions and accomplishments, a life she made for herself and was proud of? I think Reset Eda would shrug, and ask Lilith and the others to bring it on, to bring her back to the present- Because she’s impatient to get to that point, I imagine Reset Eda would ‘miss’ her life as Eda the Owl Lady, sister to Lilith, surrogate mother to Luz and King, creator of Owlbert, begrudging acquaintance of Hooty, etc.
Her cursed life wasn’t ideal, but there’s something good and irreplaceable to it, just as each and every person is unique in their own special way; And Reset Eda wouldn’t want to lose something that had existed and is at stake here, just for a life that never actually did. Even if her life was garbage, well- Eda is always someone who finds meaning and value from garbage, and even creates it when none is there, or disagrees with the purpose others originally intended anyway! She says how she feels about what she has in life, not others!
Reset Eda might agree with her older self about getting that better life for other kids, like Luz, because that’s what Eda DID work on doing, and she made some decent success at this no less! Of course, I can imagine some initial angst and dilemma, as Reset Eda isn’t as wise as our Eda- So it might take her longer to reach this conclusion, or she’d be a bit more hesitant. But then again, Young/Reset Eda openly defied the Coven System to the Emperor’s Coven own face, publically… So she seems both proud and unapologetic about her choices, to the point of fully owning the consequences and trouble that come with them- Just like our Eda. We don’t know the exact differences between Young Eda and our Eda, but we know that there are a lot of fundamental similarities in ideals.
Plus, I imagine that if Reset Eda were to be undone, and returned to the Eda we know… Well, she’d retain her memories of having been ‘reset’, as a young Eda who suddenly woke up surrounded by Luz and King and a much older Lilith, and got to know them and her own future before making the decision to keep it. It’d be sweet for Eda to reflect on what just happened and what she missed, to look at Luz and the others… And then smile and nod, remarking that she’s really missed this and definitely wouldn’t have given it up for anything. Besides, it’s not like she’d deprive Luz and the others of the Eda they know and love, she’s not going to do away with that Owl Lady, any time soon! Reset Eda would still ‘remain’, she just wouldn’t have lived out THAT life… In exchange for retaining her cursed one. Harsh, but she’s not losing anything that was ever actually, already there.
And Reset Eda, the one we meet after the initial reversal, she’d still exist, she’d still live on in our Eda… The only thing she’d have lost was the potential of that new life, but would she really give up her past one for that? Young Eda couldn’t bear being at the top of a system that hurt and oppressed others… And while she may be apprehensive about getting cursed, it’s not like she has to relive it, just bring back the effects, and restore her old self. Like I said, Young Eda already planned to be a wild witch; I think she’d be fine with a curse, if it meant saving her old life and self in the process, VS sacrificing it entirely just to have no curse…
…But, this gets us onto Option B; The idea of Reset Eda retaining her memories, in which case… She’s literally just OUR Eda, just with a heavy dosage of Youth Elixir and no curse. In which case, I can definitely see her being a lot more open to the idea… Maybe a bit hesitant, because she doesn’t want to outlive her sister, Lilith- But Lilith would definitely reassure Eda that the two will catch up in the afterlife anyway, when Eda herself has to inevitably kick the bucket, curse or no curse. I could see Eda having concerns about the logistics of being much younger, but in the end… I can legitimately imagine Eda accepting this option alongside the others. It’d be weird having the body of a very young kid with the mind of a fully-grown adult, and no doubt very awkward… It’d definitely make most romantic relationships a very touchy subject that’s probably to be avoided; But in the end, I think Eda’s already content with the familial bonds she has with the others.
Eda would hate to have her youth restored, and be cured of the curse while watching Lilith bear it on her own… But I could see Lilith reassuring her that she already lived plenty of years without the curse, anyway. And she still has a support network, her worst guilt and sins would be alleviated almost entirely… I think Lilith would be very much fine, because she’s going to grow old and die either way. This way, however, she has Eda the whole way through- Because if we’re being brutally honest, regular Eda is probably going to die of old age before Lilith. So to Lilith, having her little sister, happy and living a new and better life, while still retaining her old one… Having THAT Eda by her deathbed, that’s much better than being without Edalyn entirely.
Plus, maybe a youth-restored Eda could just… Douse an aging potion to match her biological age with her chronological one, if she really had reservations- Doing so would still leave out the curse, depending on how this reset works. And, who’s to say Eda won’t try to apply this spell to Lilith as well? Have them BOTH have their bodies reset but their memories and life retained… Of course, this option sounds extremely ideal, so I can see it not happening for this exact reason; As well as any other variation of Option B, for that matter.
Lilith, however… This is Lilith we’re talking about here. I’ve talked about how she may have already learned some lessons, and is likely bound to do so before this Reset option occurs. If it were Option B, it’d probably go on without too much of a hitch… But Option A? In a scenario where Reset Eda decides that she wants to go back to her old, cursed life? I can see Lilith not only disagreeing, but… Maybe becoming SO adamant, that she refuses to undo the reversal, at any cost! Because to her, Eda’s lost potential, the life she deserved but never got; It’s her worst sin by far. It’s her worst guilt that killed and ate her up from the inside for decades, and it’d be SO easy, so relieving to just let it go, to just undo it… While STILL making things right, right?
The thing about Lilith is that she’s willing to go lengths for Eda- Even go as far as threatening Eda’s own kid, Luz, just to cure her curse. Sure, she’d have made some character development by then and already has… But on the chance of actually curing Eda’s curse, AND saving her from all of that trauma and pain, getting her that life she never got- Something not even Belos could provide? That’s going to really complicate things, and I can see Lilith conveniently ignoring the reality that this option would kill our Eda, because… She really doesn’t want to dwell on the ethical dilemma of it all, she just wants an easy out and it’s so easy to relapse into this mistake, especially since it’s a much more understandable scenario for her.
But, again- Lilith has learned to respect Eda’s decisions, and if she really retains and applies her lessons, then she’ll do so, even in this case where it seems like she could have it all… Because she DOES love our Eda, the one who grew up cursed, she does do so unconditionally- So it WOULD hurt her to sacrifice that Eda for a new, reset one… And that’s something Lilith is going to have to acknowledge. That this isn’t just her own loss she has to factor in, it’s Luz and King’s and the others’… On top of Eda herself being deleted and not exactly wanting that. Could Lilith bear to kill her own sister? Obviously not… And it’d be a painful and begrudging realization, a frustrating one that Lilith would so badly want to ignore, to set aside…
But, she can’t- She knows it deep down, in her heart, and once it’s there, it’s there to stay, just like the curse… Once again, Lilith is going to have to be mature, because the LAST time she did something harmful to Eda, believing it was for her own good- It didn’t pan out. And the last time she harmed Eda just for her own selfish desires –the curse- that REALLY didn’t play out well… Lilith is no doubt going to be grappling with misguidance, a genuine desire to help Eda, her own selfish desire to alleviate her guilt, etc. She’s going to confuse how much of herself is doing this for Eda, or just for her own conscience… But when it becomes clear that Reset Eda wants to go back, Lilith is going to have to admit that once again, she’s being selfish and making Eda’s decisions for her.
Especially with Luz and King to serve as pretty harsh reminders of what Lilith did, and force her to reflect on what she’s done in the past, to always remember that. Lilith is going to hate it, she’s going to hate herself the entire process through, and maybe feel even worse for letting this opportunity slip through her fingers… Having hope built up, only to be brought crashing down, harder than ever- But I imagine that once Lilith reunites with HER Eda, the one who grew old and cursed… She’s going to realize how much she missed her, and be glad she got her sister back. She might mourn the potential of Reset Eda, but that life never existed and wasn’t going to- And again, like Eda, Lilith can invest her energy and efforts into making lives better for other people… And Eda REALLY wants Luz to have it good, so…!
Still- Imagine Lilith being so desperate, so drawn to the idea of erasing and relieving her past mistakes, believing that she’s helping Eda that she… Legit has to fight Luz and Reset Eda over bringing back OUR Eda- And maybe during the fight, we get to see Reset Eda’s prowess as a child, leading to Lilith reminding her that doesn’t it feel good to have full, unrestricted access to magic? Isn’t Eda glad she has it now, surely doesn’t want to LOSE this, does she…? Kind of a callback to Agony of a Witch, how Lilith goads and taunts Eda about the curse, as if to smugly remind Eda why she should join the Emperor’s Coven to be cured.
Surely Eda has to see her point by now, obviously Eda can’t be in so much denial when the proof is right there in her face, because this fight makes it so obvious. In Agony of a Witch, the duel made it clear how much magic Eda has lost and is losing and it’s why she needs a cure- And now this time, the duel makes it clear to Reset Eda how much she has to lose, and what’s at stake for her. Either way, attention is drawn to Eda’s magical ability in that fight and how it’s doing, what she WILL lose should she not listen to Lilith, and how it must be preserved…
And that’ll make Reset Eda hesitate, because she knows that she’ll lose that magic if she goes down the cursed path… And that might cause the most reservations about her choice- Up until she sees Luz fighting alongside her, sees how proficient Luz is with Glyphs… And then Reset Eda realizes she still learned bile-magic as an adult, and got the chance to start with glyphs as well! She’s even got Owlbert, so Eda won’t be entirely bile-less… Reset Eda would realize she’d lose magic, but Luz would show her that she doesn’t have to completely give up magic, just one form of it. And, yeah- Ideally, Reset Eda could grow up with access to bile magic AND glyphs. But again, considering who’s at stake here… Reset Eda would see it as simply not worth it, especially when her own self seemed pretty pleased about the outcome- And our Eda is a lot older, wiser, and more experienced… Our Eda managed to live her own life, help people and inspire them in a lot of ways, and taught Luz!
Our Eda made Owlbert, established the Owl House, became reputed as an unstoppable criminal and one of the hottest witches around… I think Reset Eda would consider our Eda as someone worth looking up to, and emulating. It’s kind of funny- The idea of her looking to herself, the best version of herself, as a role model… Which I guess just echoes what the Oracle Sphere told Gus- That he’s always the best version of himself. Sometimes who you are and are bound to become is great enough as-is, and I think that’s a realization that Eda figured without any divination artifact… If Eda really is so sure of herself, then she can trust the decisions she’s made in the future- Especially since Reset Eda is already leaning heavily towards those beliefs herself!
And Lilith… if Lilith realized that she needed to listen to Eda and trust her, back when they were kids AND when they were older… Then she’s going to have to stop. Because Our Eda and Reset Eda are making it obvious what she’s choosing, and Lilith needs to recognize that while she shouldn’t avoid helping others- Disregarding what people choose for themselves because she thinks it’s best for them, is something that has only caused others and herself pain in the past… It’s something Lilith deliberately tried to avoid for years, even, when she insisted on protecting Eda from the Emperor’s Coven, until the allure of Belos’ cure and his threats got to her. Does Lilith want to erase her progress, her lessons? Obviously there were better ways to learn such wisdom than from cursing her own sister…
But in the end, what’s done is done. If her lessons and development truly stick, then she’ll finally learn to let go when she has every reason and desire, both selfish and altruistic, in the world not to. Because when she realizes she’s fighting her own sister again- Lilith is going to remember how Eda lost her magic because of this. She’s going to remember how much it breaks her heart to be at odds, that Reset Eda WILL hold this against her… And Lilith can’t just be content with losing her sister’s love under the hopes that Eda herself will fare better without her. Just like that fateful ‘duel’ when they were kids, Lilith will realize that she’s really only doing this for herself- And she’ll stop what she’s doing in remorse, because she can’t let history repeat itself in her attempts to undo it.
This would just leave an even stronger impact on Reset/Our Eda when it’s all over… And this kind of respect towards Eda’s autonomy, this final concession of her choices, will really show to Eda that Lilith now truly understands her after all this time, and I think Lilith will have a new future to look forward to with her sister because of this. Eda DOES want to be with her sister, just on her own proper terms… So maybe Lilith can properly provide this happiness for once, and continue to do so! Don’t take it away like last time… Because Eda also cares for Lilith as well and knows she’ll be happier this way, and THAT makes Eda happy in her own way! It’s not hopeless, either- Lilith is sharing the curse, and they’ll do it together as always… Lilith may have hurt Eda in her attempts to be together, but that doesn’t mean separating the two will make them any better or happier- Not when years of loneliness has indicated otherwise.
And I can just imagine Lilith and Luz having a heartfelt, teary goodbye to Reset Eda… Before she casually explains that she’ll still be around when she goes back to normal, she’s just giving up a life that never came back to be, to return to the one she always had! And as I said before… Reset Eda returns to normal, she opens her eyes, and proves that she remembered everything that happened then; And she appreciates how she can affirm her decisions in life, because when given the choice to undo them… Eda decided to keep going through with it, even knowing exactly what laid ahead of her- Maybe even precisely because of this, because look around her! That’s what she’s getting… Eda knows for sure that she wouldn’t change a thing, and it’ll just make her so much more proud and confident of who she is and what she does because of this!
#the owl house#toh#the owl house eda#edalyn clawthorne#toh eda#the owl house lilith#lilith clawthorne#au#speculation#meta
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Do you think the Numenoreans are sympathetic in their resentment of the Gift of Men?
I’m really sorry this has taken so long - I wrote about three-quarters of it really quickly, and then sat on it for a few weeks because I wasn’t sure how to organize all my different thoughts.
I would say my answer is both “No” and “Yes”.
I have little or no sympathy for what Númenor becomes. Even well before they start listening to Sauron, they turn themselves into a deliberate empire, colonizing and exploiting the rest of the world. They do this despite the fact that every single person in Númenor has everything they materially need - the empire is for the purposes of pride and prestige alone. They have everything, an earthly paradise without sickness or want, and they’re diverting themselves by exacting tribute from people who have far less than they do. And it’s all the worse because everything that the Númenoreans do have - everything that they’re using to wage war on the world - is a freely-given gift from the Valar and the Eldar.
And then it becomes infinitely worse under Ar-Phârazon, where they turn to human sacrifice and worshipping Morgoth. They’re not acting in ignorance - they know exactly who and what Sauron is, and they know exactly who and what Melkor is, and they’re making a choice. The attempt to conquer Valinor is patently idiotic as well as evil. And again, they are attacking the people who are directly responsible for the very existence of Númenor and all of the good things they have had.
It’s the reason why I’m inclined to laugh at comments about Elves being bigger screw-ups than Men. The great rebellion of the Elves was associated with the desire to leave Valinor and fight Morgoth - their means and attitudes were wrong, but they were at least, broadly speaking, on the right side. The great rebellion of Men is the choice to invade Valinor in service to Morgoth - they have deliberately chosen the side of evil. The screw-ups of Men are infinitely worse than the screw-ups of Elves. (Name a 600-year period of human history that contained only 3-4 battles [not wars, battles]. I’ll wait. And that’s the worst the Elves ever get.)
Númenor fully earns its end.
But in the earlier days of Númenor, I have some sympathy with their unahappiness about the Gift of Men. The creation of Númenor in the first place, though understandable and entirely well-meaning, is arguably the same mistake as the initial invitation of the Elves to Valinor - it separates them from Middle-earth and from their kindred, and tries to protect them from the world rather than to help them to live in it, to share its problems and sufferings and work to heal and improve it. (Ulmo knows this - it’s why he takes no part in the creation of Númenor).
And moreover, all of the ways the Númenoreans differ from other Men are ways that make them more like Elves. They live in an island paradise to the West; they have greater strength and skill; they do not get sick; they live much longer than other Men; they even speak Elven languages. So if being more Elvish is a reward, it is very easy for the one way in which they are still Mannish - mortality - to appear as a curse.
And this strange liminal position they’re in, as Elf-like Men, plays a role in their later corruption. @thearrogantemu had some excellent commentary on this that gave me a better sense of elements that play into the Fall of Númenor:
Poor Númenor; they were set up for such spectacular metaphysical failure. We’re going to set you within sight of the bliss and immortality you can never reach, but that’s okay, because what you have is of equal value though different nature! You will become the foremost of the powers in Middle-earth, but you will definitely know where to draw the line, right?
They’re given the power that later enables them to become an Empire, but not the power that would give them the one last thing they really want, the last thing that, it seems, would make them as good as their friends in Eressëa. And their power and safety and bliss at the same time separates them from the Men of Middle-earth in a way that prevents them from being able to genuinely sympathize with them or interact with them as fellows and equals.
And on top of this, there’s a certain failure to communicate, and perhaps a failure of imagination, on the part of the deathless when they speak of the Gift of Men. The Lay of Leithian, speaking of Lúthien’s fate, says that “being immortal she shared in [Beren’s] mortality, and being free recieved his chain, and her anguish was greater than any other of the Eldalië has known”. So when death happens to mortals it’s not something that should bother them, but when it happens to an elf it’s a great tragedy? (Though the word Leithian translates as “release from bondage” which is the opposite idea - leaving the Circles of the World as freedom - so I gather that there are a variety of different perspectives among the Elves regarding Lúthien’s death.) And Arwen also recgonizes the hardship of death when she faces it: “I say to you, King of the Númenoreans, not till now have I understood the tale of your people and their fall. As wicked fools I scorned them, but I pity them at last. For if this is indeed, as the Eldar say, the gift of the One to Men, it is bitter to recieve.” So when the Elves tell the Númenorians not to be troubled about death, there’s a certain amount of well-intentioned Elfsplaining going on; they are speaking about something they neither know nor experience, and the few times that they do experience it - either as something that affects them or their loved ones - they don’t like it.
I think a better case for why Men cannot be immortal in the way that Elves are immortal is to imagine what it would be like in the hypothetical situation where Men did become immortal, if they did become like Elves, but retained the personalities and desires of Men. They would, ultimately, have one of two fates: to live in Middle-earth and ultimately to fade to a spirit, unable to influence or interact with the world; or to depart permanently to Valinor. In either case, they would be desperately unhappy.
Living in Valinor as immortals, Men would be bored out of their minds and deeply restless. It would be the same situation as Fëanor except many times worse. (I’ve written before about how Fëanor is the most Mannish of elves.) Elves, for the most part, desire stability and the preservation of things as they are; Men thrive on change and stimulus. And Elves, for the most part, do not get tired of things that they like, whereas Men do: as Andreth says, “We find that [the Eldar] do not understand the saying that goes among Men: Too often seen is seen no longer. And they wonder much that in the tongues of Men the same word may mean both ‘long-known’ and ‘stale’.” Change and ambition are at the heart of the nature of Men - to live in an unchanging world that has no need or outlet for their ambition would in the end become a torment. Likewise, to remain in Middle-earth and to fade, and have no way to interact with the world, to be only an observer for the rest of eternity, would be a misery to them.
The Gift of Men, though distorted and turned to suffering by the Fall, is still something fundamentally in tune with their nature - Arda is not their permanent home. They must always explore, always go beyond what they know.
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Her choice
Pairing: Johnny & female V
Rating: T for swearing
Dreams are a reflection of our subconscious, and nightmares are our subconscious way to deal with trauma, as Johnny learnt the hard way early on in his life
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Catch me traumatizing myself with my own headcannon
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On ao3; https://archiveofourown.org/works/30339804
Or press “Keep reading”
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”I… I can’t believe it… everythin’. A-all we did… pointless.” V glitches away, leaving Johnny alone at the glitchy diner-booth for a moment before he follows the path of her code, already as familiar to him as her mind. She’s sitting in the vast empty space of the net, knees pulled up towards her chest and arms resting atop them, staring out into nothing with an empty look in her eyes. “I’m sick of this…” she growls just as he materializes, pulling a chair out of cyberspace to straddle, arms resting on the backrest. Even without access to her mind he can feel the rage building up in her. “Of everythin’.” She continues as she glares up at him from under her brows. “You most of all.”
He ignores what feels like a stab or a glitch in his code, and instead levels her with a stern gaze. “Perfect, ‘cause we’re stickin’ to the plan. You’re goin’ back to your body, and I’m goin’ with Alt.”
“Where she even gonna take you?” she bites out.
He glances off to the side, to a beam of bright light that appears to be both extremely far away and dangerously close at the same time. “Beyond the Blackwall, to become part of her-“ he looks back, glancing at the glitchy outline of V’s boots. “Whatever the hell that means.” He finishes, voice trailing of a little at the end.
“… What’s it like, beyond the Blackwall?” he looks up at the slight tremor in her voice, finding an air of anxiousness about her, making him huff.
“Assumin’ I don’t loose my fuckin’ mind-least no one’s gonna ride my ass there.” She chuckles, a little, face softening. “Can’t read you mind anymore, V.” he reminds her, wondering what’s so funny.
“Didn’t seemed to mind having you ass ridden – on occasion.” Her mouth curls into a toothy half grin, her signature look of mischief.
He blinks at her for a moment before realizing what she’s hinting at. “Dirt girl…” he huffs, shaking his head in amusement. “Gone pokin’ ‘round in my memories for the juicy stuff, huh?”
She chuckles briefly, shaking her head and looking down at her hands as she begins to wring them together, a display of anxiousness he’s never seen her partake in before. “… you go beyond the Blackwall, you ain’t comin’ back…” she mumbles, voice hoarse. “What about hanging around as a construct?” she glances up at him. “Just… till we find another way?”
“Know you ain’t that naïve.” Johnny shakes his head, looking away from her. “Findin’ another way means makin’ a deal with ‘saka. I’ll pass.”
There’s a stretch of silence only interrupted by the hum and buzz of cyberspace, neither of them jumping in to fill the void for a long while until- “I don’t wanna die, Johnny…” V whispers, making him look back at her, finding her eyes staring down into nothing with a hopeless expression. He furrows his brows in concern, wondering what thought are racing through her mind as she tries to come up with a plan for how to tackle her current predicament. “Never thought life was worth clingin’ to. Not at any price, anyway…” Her eyes focus and she looks up and to the side, to the beam of light, eying it in a mournful way that has Johnny’s code buzzing in alarm.
“’cause it ain’t.” he huffs.
“Wrong.” She shakes her head a little. “That light beyond the Blackwall-“ she nods her head towards it, inviting him to look at it, though his gaze is pinned on her. “-that’s hope.” He shakes his head as he prepares to jump in and interrupt, but she continues. “Could be the flames of Hell or Heaven’s grace -who cares?”
Cyberspace buzzes and both constructs look to the side where Alt’s form glitches into being. “We’ve learned to turn into pure data-” She begins, voice soft and booming at the same time, echoing through cyberspace. “-but an animal still prowls inside us, and its instinct to survive almost can’t be extinguished.”
Johnny narrows his eyes at the AI. “Yeah, that instinct’s part of bein’ human – but so is denyin’ it.” He looks back to the nomad. “V, you’re talkin’ crazy – there’s nothin’ for you beyond the Blackwall.” He stresses sternly.
“‘least it’s not the big fat nothing I’m goin’ to in six months’ time anyway…” she murmurs before looking away from Alt and pinning him with a stare. “I am going to die, Johnny.” Each syllable of every word of that sentence is thoroughly pronounced, the difference is startling compared to her usual drawl; It’s not a guess or a fear anymore – it’s a statement of fact... Don’t mean he can’t open his mouth to argue- “Save your breath-“ she shakes her head and looks away from him. “-really think I alone could find some way to save my life in the following six month’s when we haven’t already?”
“You won’t be alone.” He reminds her. “You’ve got some great chooms backing you, V.”
She ignores him, instead looking up at Alt. “What now?”
“As I said; You can return to the body, where you will perish within six months. Alternatively, Johnny can retain the body, remain there, whilst you come with me beyond the Blackwall.”
“Guess it was naïve of me to think there’d be a happier ending for all involved…” she chokes out, voice thick with grief.
“Wrong city, wrong people…” Johnny agrees mournfully.
Alt’s body splits into copies, showing up along a path leading towards the beam of light. “This path leads deeper into cyberspace. Take it, and permanently sever the connection to the body to go beyond the Blackwall.” More copies, this time leading in the opposite direction and towards what appears to be a well of some sort. “The path to the body passes through the mortal well. Whichever of you goes through it will retain the body.”
V’s eyes linger on the well, and Johnny feels a wave of relief washing over him that she’s considering going back. “What I told you at the Pistis Sophia-” the relief drains from him and is replaced by dread as she speaks. “-we stick to that. I’ll go with Alt. You stay in our body.” She rises to her feet slowly, not even sparing him a glance.
It pisses him off…
“Turning your back on your problems, again?” he grits out, glitching off the chair when she turns towards the beam, grabbing her arm to stop her and yank her back. “What? Just gonna roll over and decomish? Give up?” he growls at her.
“It’s my decision, Johnny.” She yanks her arm away from his grip, clutching her hands into tight fists and bracing for a fight. “This bullet is comin’ my way, I just need to make sure it don’t take you down with me.”
“You’re loyal, I’ll grant you that. But damnit are you dense! Haven’t changed a bit since we met.”
Her construct shakes, edges glitching as she seems so be winding up, and he fully expects her to start throwing punches. Instead –
“I’m so damn tired, Johnny…” she breathes, eyes fluttering closed, face scrunching up in despair as she fully deflates. “I just want this all to end…” she sobs, making him deflate too.
“I know, princess…” His voice comes out soft, the nickname he’s been using to tease her now an honest term of endearment. “But let’s not make any rash decisions, ok?” He grabs her forearm again, just below the Johnny + V tattoo, and softly pulls at her, signaling for her to follow him as he turns around towards the well. He pulls his hand back, but hers shoots out to grab his in a weak grip. Given that it’s his chrome hand and they are both two constructs in cyberspace with no physical form, he really shouldn’t be able to feel the soft warmth of her hand, but he does. He squeezes her hand lightly and holds it as he leads her to the well, sitting her down on the edge before taking a step back from her, her weak grip allowing him to slip his hand free. Her face is an open book now that she’s admitted to her exhaustion and allowed it to set in, looking at him mournfully.
“I don’t want to die alone again…” she admits quietly.
“You won’t.” He insists. “Really think Vic’s gonna just sit back for six months and let you die? Fuck – tell Kerry what’s happening, he’ll throw a fortune Rouge’s way so she can-“
“You know I don’t trust Rogue.” V interrupts coldly, shaking her head weakly.
“Then go to the Aldecaldos;” he insists, voice rising as he begins to go on a rant. “you know better than anyone that a Nomad clan large as that is bound to know someone who knows someone who can help, and you’ll have six months to dig ‘em out. Or fuck – call Judy. Girl’s smart, maybe she and Vic can figure somethin’ out if they work together for six months? Or maybe that PI of yours can sniff out a lead better than he can a fuckin’ clitoris!”
V breathes out a small chuckle, shaking her head in amusement. “River did fine, you’re just mad I made you fuck a cop.” She protests, smiling softly at him for a moment before patting the edge of the well beside her. “Sit with me?” she asks quietly. Johnny’s wound up tight, and he almost snaps at her, but the small hint of a hopeful smile tugging at her lips deflates him, so he ambles his way to sit down next to her, leaning forward to rest his forearms against his legs, glancing up towards the beam of light beyond the Blackwall, where he’ll go after they’ve said their goodbye. “I still want you to have my body…” she admits quietly, and he shakes his head briskly.
“Stop already.” He snaps. “You’re a fighter, V… It’s as that doll back at Clouds said; You’ve never backed down from anythin’ in your life, so don’t go backin’ down from the fight for your life.” He sits back up a little so he can look at her, her eyes starting to gain some focus, hanging on to every word he says. “You’re stubborn as all hell. You see a wall blocking your path, you’ll either find some way ‘round it or bash that thick head of yours against it until you bring it down.” He reaches out and knocks on her forehead, making her huff out a sound of amusement and swat his hand away softly. “You’ll find a way to cheat death again, and when you do; Gonna take Night City by storm. Ain’t nothin’ gonna stand in your way.”
She shakes her head a little, a faint smile tugging at her lips as she looks at him with such open adoration it’s startling. “… Goodbye, Johnny.” her voice is hoarse again, filled with unshed tears that he doesn’t deserve.
“Goodbye, V... And never stop fighting.” He moves to stand up and help her into the well, but before he can she glitches away to stand before him, forcing him to look up at her in alarm. Her face, set in burning determination, is the last thing he sees as he feels her hands on his shoulders pushing hard until he tumbles backwards, over the edge of the well and into a freefall.
Nightmares are nothing new to Johnny, he’s had them since his gonk ass enlisted as a child soldier and went to fight in Mexico, but it’s been a long time since he’s had a nightmare so vivid it causes a physical reaction.
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He wakes with a start, throwing the cover off his body – drenched in cold sweat – as he shoots up from the bed and stumbles out of it, catching himself on the floor with a grunt of pain before franticly pulling himself back up and stumbling out of the bedroom and into the bathroom, throwing himself at the toilet as he dry heaves a couple of times before emptying the contents of his stomach into the bowl in several drawn out heaves that leaves his entire body trembling. His fingers weakly curls against the cold ceramic as he hurls and hurls until there’s nothing left for his body to expel, and then he dry heaves a couple of more times, tears and snot running down his face once he manages to gulp down large breaths of air, the occasional sob or groan of pain interrupting his efforts to try and catch his breath.
He wipes his face with his arm, leaving a disgusting mess of tears, snot, and vomit as he slowly rises, looking down at the tattoo on said arm as he drags his feet along the cold floor and to the sink, hands shooting out to grab the edge of it before he looks up at his reflection. Gasping sharply, he pulls his fist back, a primal roar of rage and loss rips from his chest as he punches the mirror, shattering V’s reflection.
#cyberpunk 2077#johnny silverhand#v (cyberpunk 2077)#valerie valentine#silverv#hurt/comfort#hurt no comfort#a bit of both#wrong city wrong people#cyberpunk 2077 fic
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Fic: Cinnamon Rolls
Summary: Rushbelle. Belle is missing Earth. Rush manages to put his foot in it until he learns the deeper reason for Belle’s distress. This acts as a prequel to my previous fic Whispers, but it can stand alone as well.
Written for the @a-monthly-rumbelling October moodboard prompt, available here.
Rated: T
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Cinnamon Rolls
“I miss cinnamon rolls.”
Rush paused in his contemplation of what had affectionately become known as ‘Rush’s Wall of Mathematical Madness’ and looked over at Belle. She was staring into the middle distance, playing with the chalk between her fingers and very obviously several million miles away from Destiny.
“Pardon?”
“I miss cinnamon rolls. I miss all proper food. Roast lamb with all the trimmings, lobster, chocolate fondant, steak sandwiches… But most of all, I miss cinnamon rolls. I’m beginning to think that I might never eat them again. I know I’ve gone back to earth and eaten them via the stones, but it’s not the same when it’s not your own taste buds, and inevitably I have to come back here to this body, whose taste buds only remember protein gloop and the odd things we’ve managed to grow in hydroponics.” She sighed, finally looking over at Rush. “I miss Earth,” she said simply. “I want to go home. I know that what we’re doing out here is important, discovering the key to life, the universe and everything, and I understand why you feel the need to keep chasing that until the end. But I want to go home, Nick. I’m tired of this. I can’t cope with it anymore.”
It was the longest speech that Belle had made to him for days. She had been subdued and withdrawn for a long time, and now he knew why. Rush gave an inward sigh. He was not a good boyfriend. A good boyfriend would have noticed that Belle’s behaviour was off and would have asked about it, instead of just shrugging it off as one of those inexplicable quirks of human interaction that he didn’t currently have time for, then going about his day.
In Rush’s defence, though, he had never claimed to be a good boyfriend when he and Belle had first got together. In fact, he had explicitly stated that he was probably going to be a very bad one. Belle knew what she was getting into and she’d stuck by him for almost a year and a half. All the same, it did make him feel a bit guilty. He turned back to the wall, trying to distract himself from the unwelcome feeling.
“Do you miss anything about Earth?” Belle asked. There was something hard and accusatory in her tone, and Rush didn’t like it. He bristled.
“Of course I do.”
“Apart from a whiteboard and a limitless supply of dry-erase markers, and anything else that would make your job here easier?”
That stung, and Rush turned to her.
“Of course I miss Earth. I miss normal food and normal showers with running water like everyone else, but unlike everyone else, I can put that aside in order to get on with the task at hand!” He indicated the wall, annoyed that he’d lost his train of thought.
“Jesus, Nick, are you even listening to yourself? Are you even human?” Belle got up from her position cross-legged on the floor. Rush knew he’d said the wrong thing, but since he had no idea what the right thing was, he opted to keep his mouth shut.
Belle threw her hands up in defeat. “We had a life, before all this happened! We had a nice, normal, happy life, and we may never have that life again, and I miss that life! I miss coming to your house and sitting in front of your fireplace and talking about things that were in no way, shape or form related to astrophysics! I miss dating! I miss having you all to myself and not having to share you with a spaceship that’s falling apart at the seams! I miss that life, and you have the audacity to stand there and infer that the life I miss is just a distraction! That it was never as important to you as this new life is!”
There was a long pause, and Belle shook her head. “I deserve more respect than that, Nick.”
She left the corridor then, no doubt going back to the cool and calm of the hydroponics lab where she spent most of her time, caring for her little seedlings and helping build their new life here on Destiny even as she longed for her old one back home. Her footsteps echoed eerily along the metal corridors, and Rush turned back to his wall again. At the end of the day they would both calm down and everything would be just about ok again, although this did seem to be a hurdle that they were destined to come back to.
It must have gone deeper than just missing Earth. Belle had expressed how much she missed Earth before, but it had always been in a more wistful tone, like she expected never to see it again and was nostalgic for the time they’d had there. Rush had thought that she’d made her peace with Destiny becoming their permanent home just as much as he had. This longing was something very different, and it perturbed him more than their argument had.
He did value Belle, of course he did, and he had loved the time they’d spent together on Icarus and on Earth. He loved her, and he could never think that she, or their relationship, was a distraction. He just wasn’t very good at expressing that, especially not when there were so many other things pressing in at the edges of his mind.
Perhaps he did take her for granted in a way, a kind of comfortable reassurance that she would always be there and would always forgive him no matter what else might come their way. He thought that they had done very well to be able to keep their relationship going amid all the stresses of their stranding - perhaps the fact that no-one else on Destiny seemed to have realised that they were even in a relationship at all helped - but now, things looked like they were falling apart and he knew that he could not rely on having Belle there in the background like she had always been.
It was not a happy thought.
X
Belle came back to the corridor later in the day, leaning carefully against the wall so as not to smudge the chalk marks there.
“We need to talk,” she said. There was a quiet sadness in her voice, and Rush wondered, with a gnawing little feeling of ice in the pit of his stomach, if this was the moment when they fell apart; not explosively, not with hard words and shouting like there had been earlier, but with sadness and disappointment, like so many things fell apart. “We needed to talk earlier, and I was segueing into it but then I flew off the handle.”
“I know you miss Earth,” Rush began. “And honestly, I do miss it too.”
Belle shook her head. “It’s not that. Well, it’s not just that. It’s the terror of feeling like we may never get back there. It’s not so much the things on Earth that I miss as Earth itself. And I’ve always felt that way, and I’ve always managed to push it down and make the best of it, because what other choice did I have? But I can’t do it any longer.” She sighed, and her eyes were melancholy when they finally met his. She’d been crying, it was obvious. “I’m pregnant, Nick.”
For a long time, silence reigned supreme in the corridor. It was a heavy, all-encompassing silence that was screaming with the need to be filled. Although Rush had perfectly understood the three words that had just come out of Belle’s mouth, he was having a lot of trouble actually processing them and having them sink in and their full repercussions become known.
“What?” He wished that he didn’t sound so shocked, his voice choked in the back of his throat, but he knew that at least it sounded better than something flat and emotionless would have done. He had no idea how to react to the news. It was… Well, if he was being brutally honest with himself then he couldn’t say that it was entirely unexpected given their lack of resources on Destiny, but it had come so far out of the left field, so out of the blue that he simply hadn’t given any thought to it at all.
“I’m pregnant.” Belle gave a soft sigh, raising her hands as if to use them to illustrate her point - Belle was good at talking with her hands when she got excited, but she was far from excited now - and then just wrapping them around her chest like she was trying to hold herself together. “I mean, we’re still having sex even though I ran out of my Pill three months ago. It’s not exactly like this wasn’t a risk.”
Rush gave a slow nod. “No, no I can see that.” He paused. “Are you sure? Are you sure it’s not just stress and bad diet making you skip a period?”
Belle nodded. “I’m sure. TJ has tests in the medical stock. She knows, but no one else does.”
Rush let them fall into silence again. His most primal instinct was telling him to swear and smack his fist against the wall, but he knew that would not help matters in the slightest. Belle was already standing on a knife edge, close to breaking point, and their relationship had already started to strain beneath the massive consequences of this news even before he’d been aware of it. Rush was not a social person by any manner or means and he was not a good boyfriend, but he retained enough interpersonal awareness to know that showing anger would be the worst reaction he could make.
This was not what he needed right now. It was not what he needed at any point in time if he was being honest. He’d never had any desire to be a father; it had never been on the cards with Gloria and he’d never spoken about it with Belle, but he’d assumed that she felt the same way as he did. He had never wondered if she might want to start a family.
All the same, even if she did want to, here on Destiny, stranded in the middle of nowhere on a quest to discover the origins of life and time itself, well, it was hardly the place to start one.
“So what happens now?” he asked. Whatever decision was going to be made, neither of them could make it alone. This was on both of them, this baby was a part of both of them.
Belle wiped her eyes.
“Now I need you to put me first, instead of this ship,” she said quietly. “We have so much to decide, so much to talk about. I want to be a mother, Nick. I want to have a baby, and God knows I want to have one with you. But at the same time, can we really justify bringing a child into this world?” She gestured around the corridor. “This would be so much easier if we were on Earth. But we might never get back there. I may never have a better world to bring a child into. So we are going to have to think long and hard about what we do next, and I need to know that no matter what happens, you’re with me, and no matter what happens, you think it will be worth it. I don’t want to feel like this is just a distraction from what you’re working towards. This is so much bigger than missing cinnamon rolls, Nick. This is missing opportunities. This is missing life.”
Rush came across and put his arms around her, welcoming her slight frame leaning against him. This was unexpected and unprecedented, and he still didn’t know how he was going to deal with it all in the long term, but even he could tell that it was time to put Destiny aside and focus on Belle.
There was a long and difficult road ahead for their relationship, no matter what the future might bring.
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