#has anyone else watched house of carters? it's kind of sad to watch now but i was obsessed with quoting it

[jaeducs]

saw backstreet boys in australia last night! i got a few videos but you can hear me screaming in a bunch so i might edit them together and put them on youtube with my screams cut out LOL.

[harlowhockeystick]

gotcha day party 🥺😭 more please

word. blurb unda tha cut. fem reader. all kinds of fucking fluff.

it's all set up to be perfect. the table decorations, the cupcakes with carter's favorite superhero on them, iron man, balloons in the corner, and a new play set in the living room. everything carter requested.

his actual gotcha day was the week prior. tyson even took a couple weeks off to help you prepare for it all with the paperwork and such. tyson wanted this day to perfect too, probably more than you did. his parents were there, along with yours, and it made the day even more special.

suddenly all the days where you had gotten negative pregnancy tests, all of the failed IVF treatments, and the doctors eventually telling you that for now it was unable for you to physically have children, all of those sad moments were gone. all of the tears of anger and sorrow were gone. they were now replaced with joy, unspeakable joy. because now, yourself and tyson, were parents. to the most precious boy, with tan skin, bright hazel eyes, and curly hair, whose name was now carter jost. cj for short.

he came home to the biggest bedroom he could have ever imagined. a set of bunk beds, and when he asked which one was his, tyson happily replied with the word both. the room was also decorated with anything that a five year old boy could love.

toys galore, two bins full of toy cars and toy superheroes, legos and all sorts of animal replica toys. his bed has some new stuffies on it, each of them from either tysons family, your family, or some members of the avalanche team and staff.

it was a wonderful day. hell, it was a wonderful week. the whole first seven days home was all bliss. you had decided to wait a while before you enrolled carter in school, wanting to have him adjusted to home life for a while before you threw something else new at him.

mornings were great. on saturday tyson did a donut run with the little dude, a nickname that jt gave him. on sunday everyone slept in and had breakfast in bed, carter included. on monday, tyson went back to hockey and you let carter help out with yourself getting back to work from home.

before tyson had his first game back, the gotcha day party was scheduled. both sides of the family were invited, some friends from your work were invited with their kids, anyone who could make it from the avalanche team and staff were invited along with their kids. it was important to tyson that carter felt immediate love. it was important to you that he found friends in your own little community.

and that's exactly what happened. he immediately found friendship in a few kids his age that were there. and it brought joy to both your hearts, watching carter play legos and board games with all the kids around him. when it came time for cupcakes, all the kids around the table were talking with him and having fun with him. both of your wishes came true. carter found friends.

gradually people started to leave and carter thanked each and every one of them. and tyson thanked his teammates for coming, even the ones without kids. it meant so much to carter, but even more tyson. to know that he had support for his personal life as well as his professional life.

carter's tank was on empty when nighttime came. tyson carried him upstairs to his room, helping the little dude change into his pajamas and take a quick sponge bath before bed. he picked out a book from the three shelf bookcase on the wall that had books and action figures on it, the magic tree house series, and started to read the first chapter to him.

"did you have fun today, bud?" he asked, noticing that his eyes were starting to get heavy. he put the book down on the floor and pulled the blanket up around carters shoulders, turning the nightlight on for him.

"i did, it was so much fun." tyson grinned, propping his elbow up on the bed as he sat on the carpet next to the bed. he had a grin on his face, watching as his little boy explained all that he enjoyed. "it was so fun getting to play with shawn and lucas and harley," carter went on, talking in between yawns about all the friends he spent time with today.

"well you get a goodnight sleep bud, see ya in the morning okay?" tyson put his hand on carters chest and leaned forward, pressing a light kiss on his forehead. "i love you," he mumbled before walking out the door.

"i love you too, daddy."

[vdlest]

My Works:

2am knock on my door

Posted: May 17, 2021

Characters: Bucky Barnes x Anger!Reader

Summary: After Tony's death, Cap's disappearance, and end of Thanos, everybody go on separate ways to continue their lives. You became alone. But one rainy night, you heard a knock on your door, only to find Bucky Barnes soaking wet outside your apartment. You soon realized that you're not the only person who feels that kind of sadness and loneliness. That makes the two of you.

Warning: None

His I Love You

Posted: May 17, 2021

Characters: Bucky Barnes x reader

Summary: You and Bucky are in temporary LDR due to his mission and just by hearing those three magical words, you felt okay.

Warning: None

You Saved Me

Posted: May 18, 2021

Characters: Bucky Barnes x reader

Summary: You kept him from being insane by loving him for who he was, who he is, and who will he be.

Warning: None

Costumes

Posted: May 18, 2021

Characters: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You and the avengers are having a Halloween party, and someone came with a familiar costume, making your heart skip a beat.

Warning: None

As Long As We Both Shall Live

Sequel to "2am Knock On My Door"

Posted: May 19, 2021

Characters: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Summary: Bucky didn't like the idea of you avoiding him. So during the mini-reunion party, he confronted you.

Warning: None

Turning Point

Posted: May 19, 2021

Characters: Bucky Barnes x BestFriend!Reader

Summary: You were out with your girl friends, Nat and Wanda, but when you got home, your boy best friend, Bucky, isn't so happy about you coming home late.

Warning: None

Good Morning, Husband

Posted: May 20, 2021

Characters: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You woke up and see Bucky Barnes beside you, realizing that it's your first morning as husband and wife.

Warning: None

My Lady

Posted: May 20, 2021

Characters: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: It is Tony's birthday party and everyone's required to wear their best formal attire, and when you did, you caught the attention of James Buchanan Barnes.

Warning: None

He Won't Allow It

Posted: May 22, 2021

Characters: TFATWS!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Just when Zemo is about to use you as a pawn to your next plan for your mission in Prague, Bucky decided to remind him that he won't allow anyone to use you. An unexpected confession came after.

Warning: Swearing

Dreamcatcher

Posted: May 22, 2021

Characters: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Bucky continues to have his nightmares night by night. You advised him to follow what his therapist told him to do — to have a friend. It turns out, you also needed one. Will the two of you take this chance to help each other?

Warning: None aside from swearing

You Left Something

Posted: May 23, 2021

Characters: Bucky Barnes x ExAvenger!Reader

Summary: It has been a year since you left the life of being an Avenger. But after a year, someone showed up in your house, telling you that you left something when you left your old life. What could it be?

Warning: Swearing, mention of sex/one-night stand

You Matter

Posted: May 23, 2021

Characters: Bucky Barnes x Girlfriend!Reader

Summary: You and Bucky together with the other Avengers went to Florida for a mission. When your ex-suitor was also in the same area, your boyfriend, Bucky Barnes, is triggered by your ex's words. How can you make him feel better?

Warning: Jealousy, A little bit of smut, Swearing

I'll Come Home To You

Posted: May 24, 2021

Characters: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Summary: All the men avengers are compromised in a big mission that has to do with an organization trying to revive and continue HYDRA's works. Seeing your fiance, Bucky, leave months before your wedding makes you worried.

Warning: None

His Muse

Posted: May 25, 2021

Characters: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Tony and Pepper are finally tying the knot. And your date for their wedding is none other than James Buchanan Barnes, your best friend.

Warning: None

Still His

Posted: May 25, 2021

Characters: Bucky Barnes x Reader, Winter Soldier x Reader

Summary: You lost him five years ago, but what happens when the new fist of HYDRA turns out to be the man you thought was a ghost already.

Warning: Swearing, Alternate Universe, Poorly Written

Lost & Found

Posted: May 26, 2021

Characters: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Nearly three years ago, the Avengers lost in a battle for humanity. They lost because of Thanos. Half of the planet vanished in thin air and only God knows what happened to them. Surprisingly, you received a call from Nat telling you that Tony Stark is safely back in the compound with the help of Captain Marvel. But you get another surprise when Nat tells you that Bucky did not vanish three years ago, he was with Tony this whole time. 

Warning: None

No One, But You

Posted: May 26, 2021

Characters: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You, Sam, and Bucky went to Prague for a mission that has something to do with what they call the Flash Smashers, but Bucky is not his usual "game on" mode and you found out why. He's still grieving over Steve's disappearance and for not being able to apologize to Tony.

Warning: Swearing

Onto It

Posted: May 27, 2021

Characters: TFATWS!Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Summary: Bucky and Sam are both in New York to finish their mission with the power broker, which turns out to be Sharon Carter. The latter is not just the villain in this story, but you once got jealous of her as well when she tried to seduce your man.

Warning: Swearing, Jealousy, Mention of Smut

Nice To Meet You

Posted: May 28, 2021

Characters: TFATWS!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: The restaurant where Bucky always takes Yori to eat with him is where you actually work. You've been watching and staring at him for quite some time now but didn't have the courage to introduce yourself to him. But what happens when Yori asked Bucky to take you out?

Warning: None

No Goodbyes

Posted: May 29, 2021

Characters: Bucky Barnes x Reader, CivilWar!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You fought for team Captain America during the Civil War. You were one of the people who believed that Bucky Barnes can gain his redemption. Fighting alongside Bucky, the two of you did not have a hard time getting along and eventually fell for each other. But after the fight in the airport, he decided to freeze himself again until a solution for his condition comes.

Warning: None

Always Beside You

Posted: May 30, 2021

Characters: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You and Bucky have been living together for a year now. Ever since you came into his life, he stopped having nightmares, not until Sam gave up the shield and the country have a new Captain America.

Warning: None

It's Her

Posted: May 31, 2021

Characters: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Summary: It was supposed to be a night of fun with the whole team, but your ex-boyfriend shows up and tries to ruin your night.

Warning: Swearing, AU, Mention of a little SMUT

Scarred & Bruised

Posted: June 1, 2021

Characters: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Each time you find yourself falling in love, you'd tell them about your dark past, and they'll always end up leaving you. So you tried not to fall in love with anyone since then, and it has been years since you felt love in your life. But then you met Bucky, and it's not hard to fall in love with him so you ran away from him. After a year of hiding and running from the man you thought was just like anyone else, he found you, and no chance that he'll let you go again.

Warning: Swearing, Mention of rape, Violence

You Made Me Live Again

Posted: June 2, 2021

Characters: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader, Steve Rogers x Avenger!Reader

Summary: You used to date Steve Rogers, but you knew that he has always been in love with Peggy, so you two stopped dating. Two years later, you met Bucky and slowly fell for each other, but you two decided to keep your relationship a secret since both of you doesn't want to shock everyone, especially Steve, who happens to be Bucky's best friend. But until when can both of you hold back?

Warning: Open-ended, Sappy Ending

Midnight Talks

Posted: June 7,2021

Characters: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Summary: After Bucky and Sam's mission in Brooklyn, they came back to the compound and you noticed that something is not right with Bucky. One midnight, you can't sleep and found Bucky in the mini-bar in the compound and you finally found out why he's been acting differently.

Warning: fluff, a little smut, drinking

More than anything

Posted: June 8, 2021

Characters: Bucky Barnes x BestFriend!Reader

Summary: You and Bucky have been best friends since high school. He always asked you for advice whenever he's dating someone, when you say no, he'd say no as well. But one night, you found each other in your room, having sex. Waking up the next day, he's gone. No text, no call, nothing.

Warning: mention of smut

Build a life together

Posted: June 9, 2021

Characters: Bucky Barnes x Girlfriend!Reader

Summary: You and Bucky joined Sam to help him restore their family boat. But a life-changing event took place. An event of a lifetime for you and Bucky.

Warning: none

Of all the things

Posted: June 10, 2021

Characters: Bucky Barnes x Stark!Reader

Summary: Even before the civil war took place, you sided with Captain America about his point of view of Bucky Barnes — that he could gain his redemption. Bucky has never shown you anything bad ever since you met him. The next thing you knew, he caught your heart too. You took their side up to the civil war, and you knew your brother, Tony, would be hurt by your decision.

After the civil war, Tony told you about the truth of the death of your parents, the Winter Soldier killed them. You were hurt too, for all along you knew they got into an accident but it turns out, they were murdered.

Seeing how devastated Tony is for feeling betrayed by Steve Rogers and feeling hurt upon learning what really happened to your parents, you decided to go back with him in New York, without even saying goodbye to Bucky, the man you secretly loved.

A year later, you & Tony received a call from Wakanda, you are needed in a war. But little did you know, you're about to cross paths again with the man you've always loved from afar and secretly.

Warning: none

Only yours forever

Posted: June 11, 2021

Characters: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Summary: You and the rest of the remaining avengers decided to team up with the Eternals, but seems like your boyfriend, Bucky Barnes, isn't a fan of Ikaris and the way he stares at you.

Warning: Jealousy, Fluff, Implied Smut

I'm home in your arms

Posted: June 14, 2021

Characters: Bucky Barnes x Girlfriend!Reader

Summary: Bucky always comes to visit you, but he asked you to come over to his place this time. Upon your arrival at his apartment, you found him sad and emotional.

Warning: Fluff

Definition of heaven

Posted: June 16, 2021

Characters: Boyfriend!Bucky Barnes x Girlfriend!Reader

Summary: You found out you were pregnant with Bucky's baby when the blip took place. You keep the baby and raised him by yourself and with the help of a few friends. You have always believed that Bucky will come back to you and your son, Gabriel. Five years later, the Avengers won, Bucky came home to you and Gabriel.

Warning: Fluff

Sergeant Barnes' last letter

Posted: June 18, 2021

Characters: InfinityWar!Bucky Barnes x Fiance!Reader

Summary: You woke up in your bed without Bucky by your side. The only thing you found on his trace is his letter for you, saying his temporary farewell as he leaves for Wakanda to fight with his pal, Steve against Thanos.

Warning: Fluff

Let me take care of you

Posted: June 21, 2021

Characters: TFATWS!Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Summary: Joining forces with John Walker is the last thing you, Sam, and Bucky want to consider, but after seeing the powerful force of the Flag Smashers, the three of you left with no other choice.

Warning: Jealousy, Swearing, Fluff

The Barnes & Rogers talk

Posted: June 23, 2021

Characters: Bucky Barnes x Girlfriend!Reader

Summary: Bucky can't stop talking about you to his best friend, Steve Rogers.

Warning: Fluff

Could we?

Posted: June 26, 2021

Characters: ExBF!Bucky Barnes x ExGF!Reader

Summary: A normal day turns out to be different when you bumped into your ex, Bucky Barnes.

Warning: Fluff

Get her

Posted: July 2, 2021

Characters: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Summary: When Bucky found out that you were taken by the subgroup of HYDRA called "The Atonement," he will do everything just to bring you back safely.

Warning: Fluff, Expect an open ending, Heartbreak

Convincing Mr. Barnes

Posted: July 5, 2021

Characters: Bucky Barnes x GF!Reader

Summary: Instead of going out of town with you, you convinced Bucky to help Sam in restoring their family boat.

Warning: Fluff, A little bit of SMUT

Just stay

Posted: July 7, 2021

Characters: Bucky Barnes x Neighbor!Reader

Summary: Clogged sink, carrying heavy furniture, fixing your broken headboard - these are just some of the times you called your neighbor, Bucky, for help, and he'll be happy to help you without anything in exchange. Until you finally offered something he can't resist, your body.

Warning: Mention of SMUT (18+), Fluff, Bucky being rough and soft at the same time

A little too late

Posted: July 9, 2021

Characters: ExBF!Bucky Barnes x ExGF!Reader

Summary: Bucky broke up with you and left you when he thought you were cheating on him with Steve. He left without any God damn word, and you weren't able to tell him that you never cheated on him, not even a thought of it.

3 years later, Bucky received a letter from Steve, making Bucky feel guilty for what he did to you.

Warning: Angst, Mention of miscarriage, Expect a heartbreak

Love than lose

Posted: July 11, 2021

Characters: TFAWTS!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: The day Bucky confessed to you that he likes you, you told him that you can't be with someone whose life is always in the line of death. So you two decided not to do anything. But when you saw him in the news regarding his mission to end Flag Smashers alongside the new Captain America, Sam, you rushed towards the scene to tell him that you regret your decision.

Warning: Fluff

Each other's home

Posted: July 14, 2021

Characters: Husband!Bucky Barnes x Wife!Reader

Summary: You just got home from your shopping and spa day with Wanda and Nat, and you found your loving husband cooking dinner for both of you. Just a normal sweet night with the love of your life.

Warning: Fluff

Always you

Posted: July 19, 2021

Characters: Bucky Barnes x GF!Reader

Summary: Thea team is out for a celebratory dinner, but it turns out your ex-boyfriend was also in the same restaurant. Your boyfriend, Bucky Barnes, can't help but feel a "little" jealous.

Warning: Fluff, Jealousy, Mention of SMUT

Morning star

Posted: July 23, 2021

Characters: TFATWS!Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Summary: When Zemo asked Bucky to play the role of the Winter Soldier once more for the mission in Madripoor, you can't help but feel anxious about it.

Warning: Fluff

Says who

Posted: July 29, 2021

Characters: TFAWTS!Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Summary: You think Bucky hates you because he is too professional when you two are working on a mission, he doesn't do small talks, and he doesn't talk to you about any other thing aside from the mission itself. So when you had enough of his professionalism, you decided to confront him.

Warning: Fluff

Cap's divulgence

Posted: July 31, 2021

Characters: Steve Rogers x GF!Reader

Summary: After six months of putting your relationship with Steve Rogers in much secrecy, the star-spangled man boyfriend of yours finally broke the news to everyone in a celebratory dinner.

Warning: Fluff

For a lifetime

Posted: August 2, 2021

Characters: Husband!Bucky Barnes x Wife!Reader // Groom!Bucky Barnes x Bride!Reader

Summary: You just got married to the man you love, and on the reception, you are asked to give a message to your husband.

Warning: Fluff

The only family he got

Posted: August 7, 2021

Characters: PostEndgame!Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Summary: Bucky is still haunted by sadness after his pal, Steve Rogers, decided to live the life he never had with Peggy. He's very afraid that he'll choose the family he only got left, you.

Warning: Fluff

[love-peterparker]

In Extremis || Peter Parker x Reader

Summary: After the reveal of Spider-Man’s secret identity and the release of Quentin Beck’s murder video, there isn’t a lot going right for Peter Parker. But he has you. 

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Warnings: Cursing, protests and rallies, mentions of murder, a gun that is never shot, and some hair description for Y/N for plot purposes (but it should still be generic enough).  

Word Count: 2.3k

A/N: I’m first a Captain America and Agent Carter fan, and I wanted to recreate what makes their relationship so special, but with Peter and Y/N… ‘cuz I also love Peter Parker. I really loved writing this, and I hope you enjoy it.

Also, thanks to @marvelouspeterparker, @sinisterspidey (she actually has a blurb called I’ll Follow You and it builds off of Spider-Man’s identity reveal) and @stuckonspidey for answering my anon asks for general writing tips and Peter’s character. And @spideyspeaches with her kind words after reading one of the final drafts of this fic. Lastly, a special thanks to @peterbenjiparker encouraging me with this fic and for making me so emotional with her series Invisible String (Read this!... but only if your heart can take it) that I needed to write something. This story has nothing to do with it, but it does make some small generic references to her fic, and I would like to think that Y/N and Peter are soulmates in this story.

***

This takes place in a universe where a FFH-esque identity reveal happens when Y/N and Peter are young adults.

***

This fucking city didn’t deserve him.

Peter rarely admits it, but you say it all the time. When you hit a dead end in the Avenger’s database. When checking for your gun before leaving another safehouse. When reaching for him in the dark of night.

This fucking city didn’t deserve him.

It had been over a year since Peter’s identity as Spider-Man was revealed and the dubious video of Quentin Beck’s murder was released. But it felt like a lifetime.

These two Peter problems were like ivy. They rooted, twisted, and spread. Winding into chokeholds around their victims.

But heroes knew how to play with fire.

Peter’s identity was dealt with in a straightforward fashion. Plenty villains who would do anything to exact revenge on Spider-Man, but they would have to find Peter Parker and identify his loved ones first. And for someone like Peter? Well, it was going to take some time.

To you, Peter was lifegiving. A shining ray of golden hope. You fell to sleep and rose to press kisses into his face. To cherish and hold. To share tears. But to the world, or even New York City? He was a nobody, one who couldn’t even hold a steady job.

You all worked fast while the wicked played catch-up. The Avengers searched and wiped all, but ultimately little personal information Peter had on the internet, as well anything that might connect him to your shared inner circle. Everyone was given an Avenger’s signal watch. And both you and May opted to move as a precaution. May to Brooklyn. You to Avenger’s Tower.

The case of Quentin Beck’s murder was a much more grinding process. Through polished superhero reputations, the lawyers secured an Avenger’s Tower house arrest during court proceedings. An overwhelming amount of evidence in Peter’s favor was gathered. Press conferences were held. Speeches were given. And when it all seemed like it was too much for too long, you and Peter would lie in bed, arms and legs entangled, whispering that everything would turn out all right. Good will win. You just had to keep going.

It was taxing, but not impossible. And just when you all thought you were pulling at the end of the thread with the jury in your favor, the ground beneath you crumbles into nothingness. You spiral and crash into a labyrinth, lush and high-walled. Maybe this was the way out- oh wait, you’ve been here- or have you? You all turn and turn only to face a new dead end. A new set of incriminating videos were released. Spider-Man’s videos took the spotlight, but videos of Wanda and Bucky were also revealed. The streets of New York bustled in whispers.

Can we really trust these heroes? What if these videos are the truth?

And what happens when these powerful people think they are right when they are wrong?

When public protests against Earth’s heroes sprouted and jury members started to disappear, it was clear that the whoever or whatever was behind this had greater motives and powerful allies. It was time to buy time.

Everyone had tried to convince Peter to go into hiding somewhere else. Anywhere else. He had enough super-friends where anywhere was possible. Lay low while everyone else above ground scrambled to unweave this massive web of lies. But Peter was infuriatingly adamant that New York, regardless of her wavering loyalties, was his to protect.

So two months ago, he started bouncing around New York City, investigating when he could, and making polarizing headlines with every swing he took.

You tried to continue as if Peter was still by your side. After being terminated from your junior journalist job for “suspect ties to Spider-Man,” Spider-Man became your mission. You originally attended press conferences and rallies as moral support, but after Peter’s first awkward mumbles of a speech, it was painfully clear that he needed a new voice. The public herself needed a normal person who interacted with superheroes. Who better than Spider-Man’s girlfriend? But after the last kidnapping attempt and the Avengers’ numbers shrinking, it was clear that this wouldn’t last. The world now knew who you were too.

The thick ivy had caught up, and you were on fire.

But to hell with it because there was no universe where you would be leaving this nightmare without him. So the next time you looked in the mirror, you donned short red hair and heavy eyeliner.  

Days were spent questioning possible witnesses. Nights were spent in the light of a computer. And when you could barely drag yourself to continue, moments were spent staring at your beautiful boy’s picture. He needed you.  

You had only heard from him twice since he went into hiding, though there were a few times answered unknown number calls would lead to abstract rustling and distinct web shooter noises. To those, you always whispered “I love you,” before hanging up.

That was until last night, when you noticed small slip of paper in the crack of the window of the safehouse you had been staying at. Only a time and an address were written, in messy, but undeniably Parker script.

You spent the next day visiting arbitrary places in the Bronx, trying to determine if anyone was following you and collecting items in an unsuspecting backpack.

It was a balancing act between comfort and practicalities. An extra stealth suit. A waterproof jacket you both shared. Protein bars. Extra web fluid and a first-aid kit. A hefty wad of cash, just in case. And in the smallest pocket, things to help him in the darkest days to come. Letters from you, May, Ned, and your other friends. A few packs of gummy bears. And a picture of you and him, laughing in Central Park on one of your many dates. Sunlight casting halos on your heads. Bright. Carefree. Brimming with love.

Your heart cried and cried and cried, begging for those days.

But they were gone. And as much as you didn’t want to admit it, so were the people in that picture.

You travelled to the building location and made your way to the rooftop. Rows and rows of white sheets were hung, all whipping in the wind to dry.

A small smile graced your lips. You had to hand it to him. He was smart.

You folded yourself into one of the corners of the rooftop, gun in hand and waited. Eerie silence slowly lulling you to…

You woke up to the soft footsteps, sleepy eyes registering a shadowy figure behind one of the bedsheets.

“Hans?” you whispered, pointing your gun with a finger on the trigger.

“Leia,” the figured replied, equally hushed. The shadow lifted the curtain. It took a second to register, but it was really him. You raced towards each other, quick hold each other, beaming. Today, you existed in the same place at the same time.

“That was so stupid. I can’t believe you got me to do that,” you laughed, pressing your face into him, holding him tightly as if he could disappear at any moment.

“Oh, come on, you loved it!” he quipped. You hummed in appreciation.

“True, but I love you more.” His eyes brightened at your confession, pink dusting his cheeks.

“I know.” You shook your head, smiling at his response before turning your head and taking in who he had become. Gone were the luxurious curls, replaced with a buzzcut. A pair of fake glasses perched on his nose in further attempts to conceal his identity. Hallowed eyes. His skin tinted gray from the stress. You ran your fingers through the fuzz on his head, massaging his scalp. A sigh escaped his lips, eyes fluttering shut, with hands reaching to caress yours.

“You cut your hair.”

“You did too.” His fingers danced in the ends of your own tresses. A sad smile furnished your face.

“It had to be done,” you replied, before pressing your lips to his cheek and gently removing yourself from his embrace to get your laptop. “We need to get started. We’ve found a lot since you left.”

With his head on your shoulder, fingers laced with yours, and your laptop on your lap, you recounted the on-going investigation to him. The deep web that just kept going and going. Your theories and suspects. And when that was done, you kept talking. How Aunt May and his friends were fine but missing him. How the remaining Avengers were fairing. Peter was oddly quiet, sharing only a few thoughts here and there, but you attributed it to his weariness.

As the sun continued to dip, the silences between sentences stretched, but you mustered more words. As if your sentences were the delicate string that grounded him to you.

“Y/N,” he interrupted. You looked at him and hummed in reply. He began playing with your fingers, eyes never meeting your own. “I love you more than I ever I thought I could, and I’m really thankful for everything you’ve done. And you’ve done so much. Like, I don’t know if I would have even made it this far without you, but here you are, and well, you can’t keep doing this.” You cocked your head, before shaking your head, hair rustling.

“What? Peter, we are getting somewhere! I just need to visit the-“ He lets go of your hand, fingers clenching into trembling fists.

“No, no more visits. No more investigating. This can’t be your life. When this started, we thought there was a way out. But it’s been over a year. Clearly whoever or whatever is doing this won’t stop until we’re all gone. This may never stop. I can’t have you throwing away your life for me. Hell, I don’t even know when I’ll see you aga-“

“Peter,” you cut him off, your voice pitched lower in concern, “Where is this coming from? We’re gonna make it. It is just a matter of-”

“I can’t give you what you deserve! I’m Spider-Man, so we don’t get to have a house and two kids! We get this-, this fucking disaster! I live like this because I have to. I don’t get a choice. And you shouldn’t be stupid enough where you are doing the same thing!”  

Your mouth fell open, ready to spit back poison when he looked at you. It was in his eyes. Behind the falling tears and redness was the glint of insecurity that Peter had always carried. This was the child whose parents died. The teenager who didn’t stop his Uncle Ben from getting killed. Who held Tony Stark in his last moments. The man who was on the run.  

The hero who would never stop giving to a world who would never stop taking.

Your thoughts frenzied. If you held on to him too tightly, he would resist. The more he would thrash, determined to save you while slowly sacrificing himself until there was nothing left. Your brain was frozen, so your heart gave you the words-

“Marry me.”  

Peter’s eyes widen before retracting into a tight furrow, scrunching his nose.

“What?! No! Did you not hear anything I just said-“

“I’m not leaving you. I will never leave you. The one thing you never get to doubt in the world is us. So, I’m gonna ask you again; will you,” you took his hand, went to one knee, and let your voice soften as you held his gaze, “Peter Parker, marry me?”  

You both bathed in silence. His chocolate doe eyes boring straight into yours, searching for truth. The thought that maybe you had gone about this the wrong way started to crawl into your mind, but then a smile slowly creeped onto his face, bright red with blush. More salt-water pooled in his eyes. He pulled you into a near lung-constricting embrace, smothering wet kisses into every inch of your face. Mine. Mine. Mine. You could practically hear his thoughts as you basked in each kiss. I missed you. I love you. And oh my god, you’re here to stay.

“What did I ever-, I have no idea know what I ever did to ever deserve you.” A smirked formed on your lips.

“Is that a yes?” The gold stars in his eyes shined at your playfulness. There was the man you always loved.

“Yes, yes, oh god yes. I do, Mrs. Parker,” he said pulling you in for a passionate kiss. And you both stayed there, melting into the ground beneath you. Breathing each other in as moments passed. Tender “I love you’s” flowing generously from both of your lips. As if the world had vanished and all that existed was you and him, and him and you, and this understanding that this, this was a love until death do you part.

Peter was the one to break the string of kisses, leaving you to chase his lips before touching his forehead with your own. His breath hot on your face. “I- , if you go to my lab there is a secret compartment. In my desk. The code is your birthday. I was going to ask you myself, but then, well… this.” You chuckled as he stumbled on his words.

“I’ll get it as soon as I can.” You both leaned in to close the gap again when a cacophony of sirens and lights echoed in the streets below.

Frustration filled Peter’s eyes as he sat up. “Shit. I-, I gotta go. Are you gonna be okay?” You let out a shallow breath, but quickly forced a smile.

“Go get’em.” And with the whip of his webs, he was gone.

You sat there for a moment, taking in the new quiet. Your fingers graced your lips, still warm with the memory of his. A lightness had settled in your chest, and with every breathe you could feel it pulse stronger.

Because no matter what it took, no matter how long the wait, there was two things for certain.

He was going to protect the city. And you were going to save your husband.

[honeymooneyy]

you kissed remus!

okay so this takes place before a dog in your past life and is when remus came out to the others, context: fifth year, remus came back from summer and is like “ayo when did sirius get so attractive??”, peter knows remus is gay bc he caught Remus and Cas kissing once, and if you haven’t read the other one - Cas is this guy Remus “dated” for a lil bit

The boys had found the “perfect” way to kick off their fifth year at Hogwarts. The train had arrived on a Friday this year, so after getting all the first years settled on their first day, the marauders had all of Saturday to themselves before they had to get in the “school mode”.

James had snuck a bottle of firewhiskey from his parent’s liquor cabinet and had just revealed it to the others.

“James,” Remus groaned, knowing exactly where this was going to end up. “How did you manage to sneak a whole bottle away?”

“Oh shush, Remus, you know you wanna try it.” James waggled his eyebrows as he settled on the floor, right in front of the foot of his bed. He motioned for the others to gather around, patting the ground.

“I’ve never tried firewhiskey,” Sirius admitted, sounding a tad bit too excited in Remus’ opinion. “Gimme gimme.”

Despite Remus’ reluctance, he sat down between Peter and Sirius, leaning back on his hands and watching the other settle down. He forced himself to keep his eyes away from Sirius, instead watching as Peter finished writing his letter to his mom. He had been writing his mom letters since first year, a tradition that had yet to die off.

Yet as James and Sirius argued over what game they should play with it, or if they should just chug it, Remus couldn’t help but glance at Sirius. His hair had been pulled back in a sloppy bun, seeing as he had been getting ready for bed when James pulled out the bottle, but a couple strands had slipped out, framing his face. If anything, it seemed to bring out his jawline, was it always this defined? And then when Sirius stretched out, much like a cat would, his shirt hitched up to reveal dark ink on his hip.

“Sirius, is that a tattoo?” Remus exclaimed and immediately leaned over to inspect it. If he hadn’t been so busy staring at the other boy’s new tattoo, he would’ve noticed the pink hue that had crawled onto Sirius’ cheeks.

“Er, yeah, I got it when I was at James’ house. It’s Canis Major, because it has-”

“Your star,” Remus breathes, reaching out to push Sirius’ shirt up higher. He was too busy looking at the splatter of ink on his stark white skin to realize just exactly what he was doing. “That’s wicked. Did it hurt?”

Sirius gingerly pulled his shirt out of Remus’ grasp and yanked it back down to cover up the tattoo that was the new center of attention. “I guess. Not the worst pain I’ve felt.”

The boys grew quiet at the thought of Sirius’ rough childhood, and Remus leaned back into his previous sitting spot. What was he thinking, just pulling Sirius’ shirt up like that?? Usually, they were all pretty affectionate with each other, but for some reason this just felt off.

Thankfully, the silence didn’t last long as James uncorked the bottle with a pop. He held the bottle up with a grin, “To fifth year!”

The other echoed him, smiles crawling onto their faces. Sirius had called being the first to try it and grabbed the bottle from James, tipping it back to take a sip. The others watched, wide-eyed, waiting for his reaction. He immediately began to cough, wiping his lips with the back of his hand, “Oh god, it’s hot.”

The boys burst into giggles at his reaction, holding their hands out for a turn. Once everyone had been acquainted with the drink, they had settled into a game of Never Have I Ever.

This game wasn’t the best to play when you’re trying to hide the fact that you’re gay, something that Remus didn’t consider until Peter’s turn came around, quite a few drinks in. He had decided to fully milk the fact that he had yet to get a girlfriend.

“Never have I ever kissed anyone,” he decided, grinning at the way Sirius groans, and in doing so, missing the daggers Remus glared at Peter.

“Not fair, you’re targeting me,” Sirius grumbles, sipping from his glass. It was no surprise that he drank, as the others had heard quite enough about his “relationship” with Mary last year. He set his cup back down, the alcohol quickly diminishing with the way he drank for almost everyone’s turn. They had ended up divvying up the bottle to see who finished their glass first.

“I’m saving myself for Lilly,” James declares proudly, shaking his head to get the dark hair out of his eyes before grinning lopsidedly. “I’m loyal.”

“Is it even being loyal if you’re not dating?” Remus snorts. It seemed the alcohol had rid him of his filter because he then sipped his drink, seeing as he had kissed Cas quite a few times.

Sirius didn’t miss it, turning to Remus with wide eyes, “You’ve kissed someone??”

“Moony!! You’ve kissed someone?? Why didn’t you tell us?” James exclaims, turning to Remus with his mouth agape and holding a hand to his heart in mock-betrayal. “I thought we’re best friends! When was it? Who was it?”

Peter jumped in, hurrying to fix the mess he caused, “Maybe he was just thirsty, I don’t think it wasn’t for the actual question.”

“S’okay, Peter, I’ll tell them,” Remus sighs, thankful that Peter tried, at least. He’s gotta tell them at some point... “It was last year.”

James didn’t miss the way he dodged the question of who, “Okay, but who was it? What’s her name, do we know her?”

“James,” Remus began softly, raising his eyes to James’ inquiring ones. He could feel his throat closing up so he spit the words out, as quick as he could, “I never said it was a girl.”

James’ mouth fell agape, “Blimey! I didn’t even know, what kind of friend am I?”

Remus couldn’t help but stare at him, “That’s it? You don’t care that I’m gay?”

He just shrugged and Remus wasn’t sure if it was because of the alcohol or if it was just James being James. “Don’t really care who you snog. I can’t believe I didn’t even know, we’ve been friends for five years.”

“I didn’t know until last year,” Remus admits with a small laugh. He pulled his legs closer so he could rest his chin on them, and watched James’ reaction. An hour or so had passed since they first started their games and the alcohol had taken a hold of all of them. The world seemed a bit more hazy than usual, but despite that he could feel Sirius’ gaze boring into his side profile. He decided to ignore it for now.

“Wait a minute.” James whirled around to point at Peter, “You knew! How did you know?”

Peter barely got a chance to open his mouth when James let out a sound of surprise.

“It was you, wasn’t it! You kissed Remus!” James exclaimed, seeming proud of himself for having figured it out. Remus couldn’t but fall into a fit of giggles at the thought of Peter and him.

“It was that boy, wasn’t it?” Sirius finally spoke up, leveling his steely gaze with Remus. His bun was falling apart completely at this point, and Remus itched to move the hair that hung in front of his eyes. “Carter, or something? The one you always hung around last year.”

“Cas,” Remus corrected, internally slapping himself for the way he had been staring at Sirius’ hair. “But yeah, we were together for a bit. He doesn’t go here anymore.”

James began on another tangent about how he should’ve known and that he had to admit Cas was a bit attractive, but Remus wasn’t interested. Sirius was uncharacteristically quiet. His dark brows were knitted together as he thought something over. Was he upset?

“Sirius?” Remus’ voice cracked as he whispered his best friend’s name. He needed him to say something more, tell him that it’s okay, that he doesn’t care.

Sirius was glaring now and Remus thought he might be sick, what if Sirius didn’t support him? He couldn’t bear the thought of losing his best friend. His worries only heightened when Sirius finally spoke, his voice unusually calm,“You didn’t tell us for months. Did you think we’d be mad?”

Remus wasn’t quite sure why he was so upset. “I wasn’t sure. It’s kind of controversial.”

“But we’re your best mates. You should be able to tell us stuff like this,” Sirius sighed, finally brushing his hair off his face. When he glanced up, Remus was surprised to see sadness swirling in his eyes. “And we scared you off. What kind of friends are we?”

So he wasn’t mad at Remus? But at himself?? Remus was thoroughly confused, why was Sirius so fixated on the fact that he didn’t tell them right away?

“I dunno,” Remus shrugged, wishing his sweater could swallow him whole. Why did Sirius need to question him like this, especially now?? “I didn’t want to take the chance and lose you guys. I don’t have anyone else.”

It was weird seeing Sirius so serious. He was usually as bouncy as James, cracking jokes and grinning 24/7. Remus decided that he preferred carefree Sirius, this one reminded him too much of the time Sirius returned from winter break with scars marring his back.

“You’re still my best friend, Sirius. I would’ve told you guys eventually.” Remus shifts over to sit a bit closer to Sirius and bumps their knees together. If he hadn’t drunk so much firewhiskey, he might’ve been more cautious about touching Sirius so casually, especially after confessing he liked guys. The last thing he needed was for his friends to think he was a creep. “It wasn’t that long ago.”

“You didn’t have to tell us, I’m not upset about that. I’m sorry you couldn’t come to us about it, I’m sure it had been kinda scary. We could’ve helped you figure it out, that’s what best friends are for.” Sirius bumps his knees back into Remus’, before giving him a sad smile. “I reckon not everyone reacts so nicely, do they?”

“I don’t think everyone’s so open to it,” Remus decided to say. Sirius already looked so sad for him, he didn’t want to add to it by bringing up how the kids in his neighborhood felt about gay people. Or even the way his parents spoke about it when seeing stories in the daily prophet. He hated the pity tainting Sirius’ voice.

Sirius’ eyes brightened as his gaze found Remus’, “So will you tell us about it, then? Cas? And everything? You didn’t get to tell us last year, tell us now!”

That caught James’ and Peter’s attention as they turned to Remus, eager to hear about his romantica adventures. Remus rarely brought it up, seeing as he never had much interest in their conversations about girls.

Remus could feel his cheeks heating up as he ducked his head, bashfully. “It was okay, nothing abnormal.”

“C’mon, Remus, you listen to us when we talk about girls. I talk about Lilly every day, tell us about who you like!” James prods, scooting closer.

Remus makes a point to keep his eyes on the ground at the topic of who he likes. He hated the way his mind immediately wandered to Sirius. He didn’t like Sirius, he was simply admiring his looks and he knew he couldn’t let those thoughts go anywhere. With a sigh, he started, “Okay, I guess I can tell you guys a bit about it. You know that I was friends with Cas for a bit, last year…”

Remus never thought he’d ever talk to his friends about boys, but here he was - describing his first kiss in detail.

[nellie-elizabeth]

The Falcon and the Winter Soldier: One World, One People (1x06)

Oof, okay, so I obviously enjoyed watching this, but I do have some things I would like to discuss.

Cons:

The biggest one is honestly about Isaiah. I understand that this is a superhero show, and there's some cheesiness baked into the very concept of it. I like the idea of a triumphant ending for our heroes, where amends are made and everyone is brought some measure of peace. BUT, I feel like a more nuanced, more true to reality ending here with Isaiah might have been different. Maybe he gives a tip of the hat to Sam, says he's happy he's found his peace, but he still doesn't agree with his choices. See, the thing is, some people who have been hurt by systems want that system to acknowledge its mistake, to apologize, to make amends. That's what Sam is pushing for. He believes we can do better, and all that. And that's a wonderful perspective. But other people who have been hurt by systems might not want anything to do with that system ever again. At the end, when Sam sets up the part of the museum for Isaiah, he says "now everyone will know what you did for this country," and Isaiah seemed pleased and touched by this. But I couldn't help but think... he was forced into doing those things, and then punished for doing them. If he'd decided he didn't want acknowledgment, didn't want to be linked to the idea of American heroism... I couldn't blame him for that. It might have added more nuance to the ending. Sam could have even said that it's okay if he and Isaiah don't agree on the best way forward, they still have mutual respect, or whatever.

As a white lady, maybe I'm off base. I'm just really curious at what the reaction is going to be. All through watching this show I kept saying to myself that an ending where Sam takes up the shield and becomes Captain America can't stand on its own. There's got to be nuance. There's got to be some good justification for it. And as I'll talk about in a moment, I think they've done an okay job... but I also wouldn't be surprised to find some people enormously dissatisfied with this conclusion. Steve Rogers handed the shield to Sam, yes. But should we forget what he did before handing it over? Well, he walked away from the government and was on the run because he didn't respect their choices. Just some food for thought.

I also just want to say: ????? to that ending for John Walker? It was so bizarre to see the light banter moment between him and Bucky after Walker had quoted Lincoln. Like... that felt so out of place. And now he's being made into an American agent? I don't understand that random lady's role in events. I don't know if I'm supposed to think it's sinister and creepy as fuck that John still has a uniform, and even the suggestion of authority (I do think it's creepy as fuck, for the record), or if I'm supposed to be... pleased that he got a new job? Just, tonally, the stuff with Walker in this finale was all over the place. He didn't seem to really matter, and yet he was still there, and the episode didn't seem able to reckon with his presence.

Oh, also, I can totally respect a bit of ham-fisted politic in a show like this. It's really the only way to do it. But Karli saying that Lamar didn't matter, and John saying "you think Lemar's life didn't matter?" was, perhaps, a little on the nose. I'm not sure I like the BLM mouthpiece being blond haired blue eyed John Walker, especially when Lemar's death, at least as a narrative function, only happened to allow John to get sad and angry about it. Where's his wing in the museum, huh?

Also Sharon Carter, she's my girl or whatever, but I gotta admit she was kind of boring to me in this whole series. I wanted more from her. The reveal that she was the Power Broker had me shrugging. I wanted to be more shocked, but she was so clearly telegraphed as being fishy from minute one. The fact is, we haven't had enough time with this character to figure out who she actually is as a person, yet. I don't understand her, and that's a shame.

Pros:

That was a long "cons" section, especially for an episode that kept me riveted the whole way through!

First off, the action was exciting and different and had so many classic "superhero moments" while not totally abandoning a more grounded feel. Sam holding the car up was such a Moment. Also the "that's Black Falcon!" "No, that's Captain America" moment was so cheesy but exactly the right kind of cheesy, you know? We got to see everyone being a bad-ass, crowds applauding, Sam's fantastic entrance with the new suit, the wings, the shield... damn. It was all cool in the way the best Marvel products need to be.

So, Sam taking the shield. I think it works because of his speech to the politicians. Specifically calling out the power they have, and the people they have in the room with them when they make the decisions that will affect so many people. There's this wonderful moment when one of the politicians asks a legitimate question: what about people who came back after the snap to find someone else living in their house? It's so complicated. And as the show ends, we're not given a simple answer. Sam merely points out the miracle of having everyone fighting the same fight for once. These rich and powerful people have had no idea how impossible it can be, and now they're getting a taste of that. There might just be the power of equalizing in all of this.

And most important to me? The government didn't hand Sam the shield. Sam took it and took ownership of it on his own terms. Think back to the legacy of Steve and the shield, honestly. Yes, he was given it by the government, but then he stole it when he ran away, then he gave it up, then Tony gave it back to him... it's a lot more complicated than it might first appear. Nobody's going to argue that the shield was Steve's to give, and he gave it to Sam, and Sam took it for his own. That made it work for me, as a direct contrast to the way in which John Walker got his hands on it.

Karli's death was inevitable and tragic. While I never cared all that much for her character as an individual, she worked quite well as a symbol. Sam points this out in his speech as well. Hasn't anyone stopped to wonder why people believed in this cause so much they were willing to die for it? That matters. It means something. And more will follow. I appreciate that the show ends on an ambiguous note. The people in power are still the people in power. And yes, their decision has been postponed. They've decided not to relocate people and replace the borders immediately. But what is the long-term solution? How does the world begin to heal? Well, we don't know. We don't get to see that.

If anyone got short shrift in this finale it was Bucky, but I'm honestly okay with that for a couple of reasons. One, this is Sam's show and I'm happy that it stayed that way. And two, we saw Bucky's emotional arc come to a head in last week's episode. The work isn't done, but he knows what the work is that he has to do, and we see him start to do that. He gives the journal up to his therapist. A way of letting go of his guilt, but also of saying goodbye to Steve in a way that can give him some actual closure. He confesses to his friend Yuri what really happened to his son.

And more than all of that, he shows up to hang out with Sam and his family. He brings cake. He goofs off with the kids. He hugs his friend, his partner, Sam Wilson. I can see Bucky coming to peace with some things. Coming into his own. It breaks my heart that we don't get to see more of that play out on screen. The show had to make a choice about whose story to prioritize, and in my opinion it made the right choice. This was a show about Sam's journey and Sam's decision here at the end was the capstone of that.

That scene at the end, though... the kids hanging off of Bucky's metal arm was such a poignant image for me, because this man is a killing machine, was designed to be so, but has remade himself into something else, and this moment really showcased that. Also, that gay-ass ending of Sam and Bucky looking out over the water together and then strolling away, Sam's arm around Bucky? Thank you for my life, Disney, I guess. And we got Bucky calling Sam "Cap," and his obvious admiration and pride in him for his speech... I just love them, y'all. I really do.

I wouldn't say anything about this show broke the mold or made me really excited about Marvel again. I enjoyed it, because I already liked Sam and Bucky, and I got to spend more time with them. I was nervous about how they were going to navigate certain political stickiness, and honestly I think they did... an okayish job. I could have wished for them to go even further, but they didn't take the easy way out, in my opinion.

I hope they make more of this someday. Regardless, I'm not ready to say goodbye to Sam Wilson or Bucky Barnes, so I hope we get to see Captain America and the White Wolf grace our screens again in some project or other!

8.5/10

[jbbarnesnnoble]

When We Were Young and Naive

Summary:  A death brings you back to the town you’d left behind after high school, reminders of a love past surrounding you. 

Features/Warnings: Angst. Sadness. Major Character Death; Mentions of Real People in a Fictitious capacity (several Pittsburgh Penguins players; Modern!AU

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff/Reader

Notes: This is just pure sad. I really need to write some happy!Nat because almost all of my Natasha stories involve angst or character death. 

Based on ‘Amelia’ by Tonight Alive

Word Count: 2386

You never thought you’d be back in the small one stop sign town you’d grown up in. Getting out had been your only goal when you were a kid. College was your freedom. Most people stayed local. Tony Stark was the only other one who went away, but even he returned home. His family had an attachment to the small town, no matter how wealthy they were. 

You were one of the few who had gotten out and planned to stay out. But then your mother called. It had been years since you spoke to Natasha, to any of your friends. You’d been best friends growing up, until you said you were moving across the country. There had been a big blowup at the Rogers’. You had kept your college decision to yourself until graduation. 

“Weird to think we’ll be at college in the fall,” Natasha said as the two of you laid on the hammock in the Rogers’ back yard. Steve was cozied up with Sharon Carter, Bucky was trying and failing to impress Wanda Maximoff while Sam watched and laughed. Clint was sitting on the side of the swimming pool, watching a game of chicken going on. Maria Hill on the shoulders of Carol Danvers, facing off against Pepper Potts and Tony Stark. 

“Yeah,” you said, your voice quiet. You still hadn’t told her you didn’t commit to the local university. It was a good school, but it wasn’t your dream school. You’d applied to a few other places and got in. Pittsburgh was calling your name. 

“Did you put in your roommate request yet? I got mine today,” she said. You sat up and Nat looked at you with concern.

“I’m not going,” you said. She frowned.

“You’re not going to college? Bug, you always said you were going to go to college,” she said. Bug, short of Lightning Bug, born of your love of the summertime insect. 

“I didn’t say I’m not going. I’m not going to the U,” you said. 

“When were you going to tell me? Where are you going?” she asked. You sighed.

“I didn’t know how. You were so excited when I got my letter. I’m going to Pittsburgh, Natasha,” you said. She nodded.

“We can work with that. It’s not that far, it’s six hours by car, an hour flight. You’ll be home for vacations. Nothing has to change,” she said. You and Natasha were more than friends. You were high school sweethearts. And here you were, about to break her heart. 

“Natasha,” you said softly.

“Oh my god. You’re breaking up with me, aren’t you?” she asked, her voice cracking.

“I...Tasha...it’s not fair to you. I love you. But sometimes, you have to let the people you love go,” you said, standing up. 

“You’re such a bitch, you know that? We’ve been together for four years and you’re just what? Throwing it away because we’re going to be long distance? You hid this from me. What else are you hiding?” she yelled. You felt tears stinging your eyes. Natasha looked at you with an anger and hurt you’d never seen on her face. Your shoulders slumped. 

“I should go,” you said, looking away from her. Everyone was staring. You grabbed your bag and headed to your car. No one stopped you. 

You spent the rest of that summer with your cousin, a distant relation, out by Pittsburgh, after packing up your things for college sooner than you expected. Your parents drove out to move you in. 

You hadn’t been back since then, not even for holidays. You were effectively cast out. It wasn’t so much that you’d gone to Pittsburgh, it was that you’d hurt Natasha. You’d lied to them all. Your friends couldn’t understand your decision making. You glanced at the person in the driver’s seat. 

You had started out working for the Penguins as an intern, working your way to a permanent position by the time you graduated. The organization really was like family, and like family, they weren’t letting you face this alone. Sidney had volunteered to go with you. Geno and Tanger had all but talked you into letting him. 

“You good?” Sid asked. You nodded.

“I haven’t been here since...the last time anyone saw me, Natasha and I broke up. And I ran. That was...like six years ago...and now,” you said your voice trailing off.

“You’re here for her funeral,” he said.

“I’m not ready for this, Sid,” you said.

“No one ever is, kiddo. Come on, your mom’s been staring at the car out the window for ten minutes now. It’s now or never,” he said. You sighed and undid your seatbelt. Sid had insisted on driving. You were grateful for that. The Barton’s house next door seemed to have an endless stream of people. They’d adopted Nat when you were children. You could feel the stares as you got out of the car, hear the whispers.

“She’s got nerve coming here and bringing a guy with her,” you heard Sam say. You sighed. You knew forgiveness wouldn’t be found.

It had been an accident. You weren’t fully aware of the details, you knew enough to know it had been bad. 

“How are you holding up, sweetie?” your mom asked, pulling you into a hug when you got inside.

“Fine, mom. Just...shocked,” you said. 

“Bucky was asking if you’d be coming home,” she said. You snorted.

“Sure he did. Just like the rest of them are looking to welcome me with open arms,” you said. 

“Sweetheart...they’re hurting too. They lost a friend, a sister,” she said. 

“Yeah. I know,” you said, sitting down on the couch. You couldn’t bring yourself to go to the Barton’s, not yet. 

“I know you don’t like talking about it, but you’re going to have to eventually. Natasha would come here daily that summer, asking if you were coming home. You stopped answering texts from your friends. I don’t understand,” she said.

“They chose sides, mom. They made their choice when they didn’t have to,” you said. 

“Did they? Or did you shut everyone out? Steve said he tried calling you right after the accident to tell you Natasha was in the hospital but you blocked his number. Clint said after you left town you weren’t answering anyone,” she said. You shook your head. You didn’t think she’d ever understand. 

“I should go over,” you said, standing up. Sidney was your ever present shadow. You felt the stares as you entered the Barton’s house, the door open. Clint sat on the couch, a blank stare, his parents talking to Mrs. Barnes. 

“You came,” was all Clint said before standing up and pulling you into a hug. After hearing Sam’s comment outside, you weren’t sure what kind of reception you’d get. 

“Of course I did,” you said, hugging him tighter. You felt him shake with the force of his sob. For the first time since you got the news, you let yourself cry too. The two of you sunk to the floor, holding on to one another. 

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” you said. You weren’t sure if you were saying sorry for his loss or for the years that had passed since you’d set foot in town. You lost track of time as the two of you sat there, holding on to one another. Clint knew. He knew the one thing no one else did.

“Tash, we’re gonna get caught if you come on another trip so soon,” you said, a giggle threatening to erupt as you spoke to Natasha over video chat. It had been two years since you left town, a year since you reconciled. You both agreed to keep it quiet. At first it was because your friends were still angry with you for how you’d walked away. Then it became nice having something that was just for the two of you. She knew you had blocked their numbers. You weren’t ready to mend those fences. Not when the immediate aftermath had been so bad. 

“Would it be so bad if we did?” she asked. You sighed.

“You think they’re ready for the truth? That their Bug wants to steal you away to the big city?” you teased.

“I love you, you know that?” she asked.

“Nat? Who are you talking to?” you heard Clint ask in the background. You fumbled with your phone as he came into frame. You were so busted when he saw you.

“Since when are you two talk...you two are back together aren’t you? Since when? I have to go tell everyone,” Clint said. Natasha set her phone down before going to jump on her brother’s back. You laughed as you heard their antics. 

“Clint said he’ll keep our secret,” she said with a laugh. 

You knew the hometown crew knew Nat had been seeing someone for some time. She’d been cagey when it came to spilling the details. At this point, it was down to you being ready to come back into their lives, ready to reconcile with your past and make amends. Five years of keeping secrets. A box was heavy in your pocket. One you’d been carrying for weeks. You knew Clint felt it.

“You brought it,” he said. You nodded.

“It’s hers. It will always be hers,” you said, your voice raw from crying. 

You knew the others had come in. Bucky was the first to piece things together. Clint had left a photo album open on the coffee table, one Natasha had put together of photos of the two of you from the past five years.

“How long?” Bucky asked.

“We made up by the end of summer. Took a break for the year,” you said. 

“Why didn’t you tell us?” he asked. 

“It was a funny game at first. Seeing if any of you would figure it out. I was still mad at how you all reacted. And then it just became a matter of enjoying having it be us, just us. I wish I had a better explanation but I don’t,” you explained. You weren’t expecting the hug from him once you and Clint stood. 

You weren’t sure you were ready when it came time for the funeral a few days later. You had slipped the ring box in the casket when you were given a moment to privately say your goodbyes to her. You weren’t ready to say goodbye. You were lost in a memory, the last time she’d made the trek to Pittsburgh. The two of you had finally settled on a house you liked and put in an offer. It had only been a few weeks before. You were lucky to be in a place where you could get a house, thanks to your job and hers. 

“It’s perfect,” Natasha said as the two of you did one last walk through before finalizing your offer on the house. 

“I can’t wait. Maybe it’s time to finally come clean,” you said.

“They’re going to be so mad...but I think they’ll get over it,” she said with a laugh. 

“They can consider it payback for the last prank they pulled. We just...played the long con,” you joked. She pulled you into a kiss before spinning you around, dancing with no music playing in what would be your living room. 

“My wife, becoming a PR boss in the sports world,” she teased.

“We’ll need to get married first, Tasha,” you said. 

“And we will,” she said with a wink. You pulled her close, feeling her relax into your embrace. This was the dream. Life, you thought, would never get better than holding Natasha Romanoff in your arms. She was your forever, of that much you were sure.

“This seat taken?” Bucky asked. You were alone in the funeral home. It was still early. The Bartons had taken their time earlier, giving you yours. 

“No,” you said.

“We knew, you know. Tasha was good at keeping secrets, but Clint’s shit at keeping them,” he said. You laughed.

“Then why did Sam make a snarky comment about me bringing Sid?” you asked. Bucky gave you a look.

“It’s Sam. I think he’s hurt that neither of you trusted him enough to tell him. But you told Clint,” he said. You laughed.

“In all fairness, Clint found out accidentally,” you said. 

“We missed you, Bug. I hate that it took this to bring you home,” he said. 

“We were planning...I was coming to town in a couple weeks. We bought a house. Out in Pittsburgh. I know she mentioned she had found a job in a new city, that she’d be able to spend summers out here. That she and her mystery partner were taking that step. I bought a ring. I was going to propose down by the creek, you know the spot,” you told him. He nodded, a fond smile on his face. The creek was a spot your group had spent many summer days and nights at. As children playing hide and seek in the day, manhunt at night. As teenagers, stealing beer from your parents and spending nights by the fire, hanging out. The creek was your spot on the edge of the Barnes’ property. 

“Bet you had a whole plan, Bug,” he said. You nodded.

“I did,” you said. 

“So, why did you bring that guy?” he asked. You laughed a little.

“The team is like a family. They played rock, paper, scissors. Sid won. They...they didn’t want me to travel alone,” you explained. The rest of the day was a blur, from the services at the funeral home, to the burial at the cemetery on the edge of town. Saying goodbye wasn’t easy. 

But in saying goodbye, you found yourself at home again, surrounded by old friends, family. The light in the dark. It had rained most of the day until the procession made it to the cemetery. The sun broke through long enough to shine on the plot, to shine on you, wrapping you in a warm embrace. You swore you could smell her perfume faintly in the wind as the sun was once more hidden behind the clouds as you laid a flower on the casket. You knew things would be okay, eventually. 

[mistymazzello]

Cruel Summer | part iv

summary-they used to be best friends, but now that y/n has a boyfriend (that everyone hates), joe and y/n can’t seem to come to terms with their feelings, but it’s no secret to anyone how they truly feel.

warnings- cussing & angst

word count- 1.6k (it’s short ik ik)

a/n-If you’re from another country, the order of grades in highschool goes freshman, sophomore, junior, senior. also, i hate the way i wrote this chapter but here u go🥺this is really just a set up for the drama that’s gonna happen next chapter

based off of cruel summer by taylor swift

Joe hadn’t said much about the girl he was bringing. All you knew was that she was coming that night. You thought about not showing up, but you needed to talk to Joe, and you kind of really wanted to see the girl he was bringing, so as you put on your makeup and got ready, you tried to keep some dignity. It was embarrassing that you just broke up with your boyfriend for someone who doesn’t want you anymore, and it was even more embarrassing that Rami and Lucy knew.

Walking into Rami’s house was a death march. You could feel your heartbeat in your ears as you walked through his front door, Lucy grabbing your hand and giving it a light squeeze. 

“I’m sorry you have to do this. I know it sucks, and if you ever want to leave, just tell me and we can go.” She said quietly to you.

“Lucy,” you laughed “I’m fine. I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about me.” You lied.

“Alright.” she sighed.

You walked down the steps into Rami’s basement and you felt like your throat had closed up when you saw Joe. He was sitting on the couch, a girl with dark curls clung to his side, holding onto his arm as if she was scared. You almost wanted to laugh. 

Lucy said hi to everyone, causing Joe and the girl to turn and look at both of you. Immediately, you locked eyes with Joe, who adjusted his grip on the girl who was practically wrapped around his side. You finally got a good look at her, and she seemed familiar, and you were pretty sure she went to your school. She was pretty, too. You started to wonder if she knew that Joe had tongued you down less than 24 hours ago. You wanted to laugh again.

“Joe, who’s this?” Lucy said, sitting in a chair next to the couch, scooting over to allow you to sit next to her. Gwil and Rami were playing pool while Ben sat in a chair across from the two of you.

“This is Vera.” He smiled. 

“Hi” She smiled. “Thanks for letting me come so last minute”

You smiled and looked at Joe. “I guess it is kind of last minute, isn’t it.”

He glared at you.

“Well, I’m Lucy, and this is Y/N.”

“You look really familiar, Vera, do you go to our school?” You asked,

“Oh, yeah. I’m a Junior.” She said, her smile never breaking. 

Lucy proceeded to talk to her, but you couldn’t. You silently prayed she would do something wrong so that you could hate her, but she continued to be lovely. You watched Joe intently for a while. You watched how he held onto her, how he would whisper things to her, how he treated her the way you had only dreamed of being treated by him. You realized this is what Joe felt the entire time you dated Carter. You tried to convince yourself that Joe only brought her because he likes her, not because he wanted to make you mad. You knew how conceited you sounded thinking that, but you couldn’t help it. It made sense.

You felt your phone buzz and you pulled it out. Ben had made a groupchat with everyone except Joe and Vera.

Ben-Does this seem a little weird to anyone else?

Gwilym-YES!!! There’s no way Joe was that close with someone and he didn’t tell us, right?

Ben-That’s what I thought too

Gwilym-Should I ask?

Rami-DO NOT ASK

Lucy-Maybe she’s just a clingy person by nature? Like it doesn’t have to be anything serious for them to act like that

Gwilym-They’re literally ON TOP of eachother

You sighed in relief. So you weren’t crazy.

Ben-If we all left they would 100% be fucking in ur basement rami

Rami-STOP

Lucy-I want to hate her so fucking bad but I CANT!!! WHY IS SHE SO NICE!!!!

You put your phone away and looked back at Joe and Vera. It felt like your heart had dropped to your stomach at this point, and it had only been 20 minutes.

You felt like a time bomb. You needed to tell Joe that you had broken up with Carter, and you needed to tell him how you felt.

“I’m gonna go get some water, do you guys want anything?” Joe said, standing up.

A beat passed and you stood up. “I think I’m gonna come with you.” You said casually.

He looked at you, his lips slightly parted. He knew he couldn’t protest, so he just followed you out the door and up the steps.

Your phone began buzzing as you walked into the kitchen but you were too invested in what you were about to say to look at it.

Gwilym-ASK HIM ABOUT IT

Lucy-^^^

Ben-Ask how long they’ve been a thing

Gwilym-WE WANT ANSWERS

You put your hands on the counter and watched him as he walked over to the fridge. “Joe, can we please talk.”

“I came up here to get water, not to have you mess with my emotions.”

“Please.” You begged softly.

He looked at you and sighed, then sat down at the counter. 

You sat down next to him and took a deep breath. “She’s really pretty.”

He nodded.

“It’s really hard for me to sit down there and watch you with her, when less than 24 hours ago me and you-”

“You can’t get mad, Y/N. You have a fucking boyfriend! You have Carter, I’m allowed to have Vera!” He said. 

“What, so you’re just gonna use Vera to make me mad until I make up my mind?” You shouted back.

“I’m not using her.” He defended.

“Yes you are, Joe!”

“Make up you’re fucking mind, then!” 

“I already did.” You looked at him for a few moments. “I broke up with Carter this morning.”

He immediately looked shocked, his mouth opened then closed.

“For you, Joe. I broke up with him for you.”

“Why?” he asked.

You shook your head and stood up, walking away.

“Y/N, I’m serious, why’d you break up with Carter for me?” 

You kept walking straight towards the front door, not even bothering to go back into the basement.

He grabbed your arm. “Y/N-”

“Because I love you!” You snapped. “And if you want to be with Vera that’s fine, and I know I can’t get mad because I did the exact same thing to you!”

He let go of your arm. “Why didn’t you tell me?” He asked softly.

“I don’t know.” you replied.

A beat passed.

“I love you, Joe. I have for a while. Isn’t that the worst thing you’ve ever heard?”

You both stood there for a few moments and for a second, you thought he might kiss you.

He didn’t.

You didn’t see Vera at all the last week of school. You would think that since it was finals week you and Joe would have been on edge, but there was hardly any exchange between the two of you. It was awkward, and it’s not how you wanted your senior year to end. You didn’t understand how Joe was the one who kissed you first, but now you’re the only one who’s said I love you.

The day of graduation was going by quickly. You were all sitting in the gym, waiting for the ceremony to start. Lucy was crying like she had been all day, everyone was extremely emotional, but you seemed to be in denial. You hadn’t really accepted the fact that your time with your friends was coming to an end, and you didn’t want to. You were standing against the wall, your cap in your hand as you watched all of the people you had grown up with that you would never see in this setting ever again.

Joe slowly walked over to you and stood by you silently.

“It’s weird, isn’t it?” He broke the silence.

“What is?”

“Just like, graduating. It feels like we just started high school and now it’s over.” He stated.

You nodded your head, trying not to think about the fact that the last time you talked to him you told him that you loved him.

“Remember how me and you were like, each other's only friends freshman year?”

You smiled. “Yeah.”

You both stood there for a while, both of you probably thinking about the same thing.

“Haven’t seen Vera all week.” you said.

He shifted. “I don’t like Vera.”

You heard teachers start calling everyone to get in order.

“Why not?”

“I just don’t.”

You looked at Joe expectantly, silently begging him to say something, anything. You wanted him to tell you that he loved you so you didn’t feel so stupid.

“I’ll see you later.” He said. Not what you wanted to hear.

You nodded.

He began to walk away but he stopped himself, then turned around. “By the way, it’s not the worst thing I’ve ever heard.”

You wanted to ask what he meant, but he walked away. You did ask him if you saying that you loved him was the worst thing he’d ever heard, but this isn’t the kind of answer you wanted. Now you were just confused.

Gwilym was the valedictorian, so he had to give a speech. It was very professional with a few jokes, in perfect Gwilym style. You cried, Lucy cried, Joe cried (hard), even Ben cried. And that’s why, after the ceremony, you felt that it was ok that Joe hugged you. You were both sad, and you tried to convince yourself that it didn’t mean anything, but by the way he set his chin on top of your head and stroked your hair, you couldn’t help but convince yourself that it had to mean something.

You tried to make yourself forget the fact that you were in love with Joe that night. You tried to accept the fact that he wasn’t going to love you back and you needed to stop thinking he was, but everytime he said anything to you, you were convinced the next thing he would say is that he loves you.

He was convinced too, but he couldn’t do it.

-

taglist- @seven-seas-of-ham-on-rhye @briarrose26 @mrsmazzello @im-an-adult-ish @iamthebeth @cobaincreates @almightygwil @timmvrphy

[silvcrlining]

elaine, self-para: after new year’s

The pounding in Elaine’s head awakens with her the morning after the masquerade ball, persists through her attempt to water it down, and follows her on the bus ride to Zuzu City.

She fidgets with one of the bows poking out of the bag in her lap, and watches as the view outside her window slowly and then all at once shifts from tree lines and mountainsides to concrete buildings that stretch out towards the sky. At some point, she begins confusing the pounding in her head with the one against her chest. Every time she visits, she feels like she should’ve done it sooner, or for longer, or more often. It never feels like enough, and something about that makes her palms sweat. She grips her bag tighter as the bus rolls to a stop.

The walk to her old house is oddly quaint; the streets are mostly barren, the strings of lights strung across buildings and the trash cans overflowing with confetti and red solo cups the only evidence that it had been filled to the brim with celebration the night prior. When she reaches the front door, she barely gets two knocks in before it flies open and she’s being pulled down to her mother’s height, engulfed in her embrace.

“Hi, Mama.” mumbles Elaine, feeling her headache subside for a moment. Amelia Carter hugs like she’s savoring every bit of warmth a person has to offer; Elaine hugs like she’s afraid they’ll disappear under her touch if she’s not careful. Her mother fuzzes over her, hands reaching up to her face and resting on her cheeks, “Oh, my baby-- how are you? Is the shop doing good? Are you doing good?” Her thumbs sweep under Elaine’s eyes knowingly, “Are you sleeping well?”

“Yes, I’m fine.” Her answer is automatic, as she’s too preoccupied with leaning into her mother’s touch. She spends so much time by herself back in the valley; she forgets how nice it feels to be held.

“Ma, give her a second. She just got here.” Elias says behind them with a chuckle. Amelia steps to the side so Elias can greet his sister. He reaches up to brush away snowflakes that had yet to melt from her hair, giving her a silent smile. He just barely towers over her, and she watches his eyes briefly shine with concern, like they always do. “You good, Ellie?”

“I’m good.” Elaine returns the smile, though she wears it a bit tightly on her face. She ignores the look that he gives her, like he doesn’t entirely believe her. With a clear of her throat, she raises her bag. Even with her family, she doesn’t like having the attention on her. “I brought gifts.”

The family dinner is small, but Elaine doesn’t mind. After yesterday, she feels like she’s wasted her social battery for the entire week. She’s just happy to be with her family. Amelia pours champagne to celebrate the new year, insisting they toast using the mugs Elaine made for the two of them. Her heart feels warm; warmer than it has in months, warmer than she’s let it be in a long time. A part of her brain tugs at her, reminds her that the warmth is temporary, that it will leave the moment she returns to the valley and hides in her little home in the mountains. She forces herself to ignore it for today.

_____

Hours later, Elaine curls up beside Elias on the living room couch, blankets draped over their shoulders as they warm up by the fireplace. For a moment, she feels like they’re kids again, and the feeling is almost comforting. Aunt Nora stopped by-- Elaine learns she visits Amelia every weekend-- and her and Amelia’s laughter filters in from the kitchen.

“How’s everything in the Valley?” Elias asks, taking a sip from his beer.

“Good.” she answers, and adds when she feels her brother’s gaze on her, awaiting more, “The, uh, the shop is doing good. The house is fine. There was a, um-- there was this masquerade ball the town hosted yesterday. It was…” Chaotic. “... interesting. It was... nice, though.”

Elias hums, nods. “What about the people, your friends-- Malia still there?”

“Yeah. She’s doing good… or, well, as good as she can be.” she shrugs, “Winter can be tough for some people. I stop by her house every now and then.”

“Okay.” He nods again. Elias always asks a lot of questions. Sometimes too many. She can’t blame him, even though she wants to. He’s always been the open book of the family, while she locks herself away behind countless doors. “What about, uh-- Henry was his name, right? You two seemed to be getting along.”

Elaine bristles at that, coughs out a forced laugh and tries to veer past the subject. “God, Elias, I’m thirty-three. I feel like you’re asking me how my day at school was.”

“Sorry, sorry.” He chuckles, taking another swig of his beer and setting it down on the floor. He leans back on the couch and glances at her. “I just worry about you, you know.”

“You don’t have to. I’m--”

“-- fine. I know. You’re always fine.” There’s something cold behind his words. Not necessarily biting, but like he’s talking around what he actually wants to say.

Elaine runs a hand through her hair and sighs. The tension that hangs in the air isn’t new, but it never gets less uncomfortable. It’s been like this for a while, especially with Elias. They love each other, that much is obvious, but there are always things left unsaid, invisible lines that they need to tread carefully around-- or that he feels like he needs to tread carefully around.

She just wants to change the subject.

“What about you? How are you and Diana doing?” Diana is Elias’ wife. They dated for five years before he mustered up the courage to propose; they’ve been married for three.

“Oh, we’re good. We actually just finished redecorating the house; she wants you to stop by and see it one of these days. You know, give your stamp of approval.”

Elaine smiles faintly, “I will.”

Elias opens his mouth like he’s going to say something else, then clamps it shut. Elaine notices, and her brows furrow, “What?”

“I, uh… I’ve been meaning to tell you…” He pauses, clears his throat. He glances at her, his words cautious. “Diana’s pregnant.”

“... Oh. Oh.” Elaine looks at him, then at the fireplace, then back at him. She stays like that for a few seconds, feeling something heavy settle in her chest-- it feels briefly like jealousy--  before realizing she should probably act a little happier. She presses a smile onto her lips. “I, uh-- that’s-- Elias, congratulations.” She wraps him up in a hug, and he returns it gently. “How far along?”

“... Three months.”

She pulls back then, the smile still stretched along her mouth. “... Oh.” Her smile lessens. “Why didn’t you… Does Mom know?”

He still regards her carefully, “Yeah.”

“Since when?”

“... October.”

“Oh.” She pulls back further now, hands settling in her lap. “... Why am I finding out about this now, then?” 

“Mom thought I shouldn’t tell you yet.”

She stiffens, “Why?”

“You know that’s a stupid question.”

A small bit of frustration flares within her, and she huffs out a small chuckle. “I’m not some… some fragile thing, Elias. I can handle your wife being pregnant.”

“That’s not what I’m saying, but…” He leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “... you still have wounds, Ellie. And that’s okay, and it’s understandable, but we just didn’t want to make them worse.”

“I’m not-- I’m fine.” She’s lost track of how many times she’s said that today. She moves away from him, focusing her narrowed gaze on the fireplace. “I know how to take care of myself. I don’t need you or Mom tip-toeing around my feelings or my-- my ‘wounds’.”

“You’re not fine.” Elias responds gently, running a hand down his face. “You and Mom always say the same thing, but both of you still have that same look in your eyes since Dad died.”

She clenches her jaw. They’ve barely ever talked about their father since it happened. Hell, they’ve barely ever talked about death or grief even though they all still feel it deep within them, some more than others. “What are you talking about?”

“You look at people like you’re scared they’re going to disappear the moment you look away.”

Her eyes flicker towards him, her knee bouncing repeatedly, hands wringing in her lap. He gives a faint, sad smile. “See? There it is.”

“Oh, fuck off.” The blanket around her shoulders falls gracelessly on the couch as she gets up. “I don’t get what this has to do with anything.”

“Because it’s impossible to have any kind of relationship with you when you’re so afraid of losing people all the time.” 

There’s a silence that follows his word, where she’s facing away from him, and her mind is racing, and tears are pricking at the back of her eyes. She wants to change the subject.

“I’m not afraid.” She tries in vain, and she hates how she sounds. Like a little kid swearing they’re not scared of the monster under their bed.

“Mom told me you spend most of your time in your house. That you never really mention seeing or talking or being around other people. Not even a pet or anything. It sounded like she was talking about Grandpa.”

That hits her. It’s like salt on an open wound, and she presses her lips together to not cry out from the pain. Her grandfather was a lonely man by choice. She knew that more than anyone. He pushed people away until they stopped seeing the point in trying. Her mother didn’t push people away, but she isolated herself most of the time, forgetting about the world until it came knocking on her door. Elias is probably the most well-off, but even he has his bouts of sadness, when Diana can barely get a word or two out of him. Elaine just thinks loneliness runs in the family like a disease. She doesn’t try to fight it that much anymore.

When she doesn’t say anything in response, Elias presses harder, pushes another button, “Have you cleaned out the baby room yet?”

There’s a room in Elaine’s house, half of the walls painted yellow, a crib she had begun building but never finished probably picking up dust and mold in the corner. She had gotten overly excited, begun working on it even though she was only four months along. She keeps that door locked now.

With an inhale through closed teeth, Elaine turns to Elias, her eyes still shining with un-shed tears. “I have to go.”

He realizes he’s stepped too far. “Elaine--”

“It’s getting late, and I wanna catch the last bus before it leaves.” She smiles tightly. “I missed you. It was nice seeing you.” 

“Elaine, I--”

“Tell Diana I said congratulations, by the way.” She adds, looking down for a moment as she blinks back the shine in her eyes. “I’m really happy for you guys. I hope she has a good pregnancy. I’ll try to visit your house soon, okay?”

“... Okay.”

She walks closer, pulls him into a hug that’s more like their mother’s: too tight, desperate. “I love you.”

He hugs back just as tightly, “I love you too. Take care of yourself.” 

She walks into the kitchen, says goodbye to her mother and aunt Nora, hugs them too tight. She has to actively focus on her breathing on the way to the bus stop, and most of the trip back to the Valley becomes a blur.

_____

Three days later, Elaine goes to Gabe’s shop and buys a small bouquet of forget-me-nots. Three days after that, it’s January 7th, the anniversary of her grandfather’s passing. She gets up early to make the trek down to the graveyard. The sun is just beginning to peak over the horizon by the time she gets there. She stands in front of his gravestone long enough that the snow around her feet begins to melt faintly. With a clear of her throat, she places the flowers on the ground, bringing her hands up to her mouth to warm them up. 

She always feels like she should say something, but she never does. She’s never been good with words. That was never a problem with him, though. They were both quiet, so they learned to communicate with each other through the silence. She stands there for a few more minutes, breath shuddering and forming in small clouds in front of her. The sound of bells chiming--the general store door opening-- breaks her out of her empty thoughts. Tucking her hands into the pockets of her coat, she nods at his gravestone and walks back up the hill to her house, tracing the path she had left earlier in the snow.

Ella Fitzgerald’s smooth voice echoes through the halls and rooms of her home, the music sounding through the record player in the workshop. Elaine sits on one of the stools, cheeks damp as she sips her morning coffee and hums along.

“Stars shining bright above you; night breezes seem to whisper ‘I love you.’” Her grandfather would dance around the workshop with her sometimes, singing the words under his breath and denying ever doing so if she complimented his voice. “Birds singing in the sycamore tree-- dream a little dream of me.”

Then, a sudden smack against one of the workshop windows almost makes her drop her mug. Elaine stills, eyes widened, heart thumping in her chest. Trumpets tut in the background all the while, Ella singing, unbothered. Elaine stumbles to the record player and removes the needle, letting silence wash over the cool morning.

She waits a second, then two, then three. Seven seconds later, she finally hears it.

A weak chirping. 

She hurriedly slips on her boots and puts her coat back on, taking a wooden board that had been tossed into a corner (just in case-- she’s not paranoid!), and rushes outside. She finds it nestled in the snow just beneath the window: a small blue-feathered parakeet with the feathers on its left wing partially ruffled. It visibly shivers from the cold. 

The weight in Elaine’s heart is momentarily forgotten. She kneels down, settling the wooden board on the snow, and slowly moves her hands closer to the bird, careful not to spook it.

“Oh, my baby, what happened?” She coos softly. The bird initially cowers away from her, though once it feels the heat from her hand, it eventually nudges its head against her fingers. “Did you get lost?”

She manages to pick it up, cradling it in her hands and taking slow steps towards the entrance. The bird looks like it could be injured, though its wing doesn’t look broken. It chirps weakly at her, and her chest warms at the sound. “It’s okay, it’s okay-- I’ll take care of you.”

She doesn’t do Ella’s voice justice, but she continues humming the song gently as she nudges the door closed behind her, attempting to make the bird feel safe.

“When I’m alone and blue as can be, dream a little dream of me...”

[oingo233]

By The Lake* Part One

Summary:  A family friend offers you a place to stay to get away from an abusive past.  Her home is a place that you are familiar with, an old town with a large lake you spent many days in. You went there years ago for one full summer, where you became close friends with a very young Daryl Dixon.  You two were inseparable until you had to leave.  But now you’re back, escaping from a past much like his.  You will need to weave your way through the town's problematic people, your own problems, and above all the confusing Dixon.  Will you two find your way back to each other again?  Or will he push you further away?  And above all, will your past cease to haunt you?

Part Two * Part Three * Part Four * Part Five

Pairing: Young Daryl Dixon x Reader

Warnings: Mentions of abuse and violence(potential triggers), cussing, more mature themes(not smut or anything tho), slow burn romance

Authors Note: Daryl Dixon is a character from the amazing show The Walking Dead, but this story is modern AU so not with all the walkers and everything.  I don’t own and I didn’t create his character.  Also this story is in no means meant to romanticize abuse, that stuff isn’t romantic. It is such a terrible, terrible thing, but it is sadly a very common thing as well.  Throughout this series I only hope that I can spread awareness about the matter, and let people know that they aren’t alone, things will get better, and that no one is deserving of any kind of abuse. Ever. Anyways, I’m done with my rant, I hope y’all like it, and if not please send in some constructive criticisms I’m always looking to improve.

Word Count: 1.7k

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 I can’t help the dumb smile that spreads across my face, and I can’t help but think of all that is changing.  It felt like I could breathe again, that maybe everything will turn out alright. It has been weeks with nothing bad happening, weeks of trying to stop the burning question of “but for how long?” from ruining my mood.

“What are you smiling so big for?”  Cherry, my moms best friend and my god mom, stared at me from the drivers side.  Before I could answer she cut me off.  “Excited to see Daryl again?”  She sent me a large wink, and her smile almost matched mine.  I shake my head with a loud laugh, and turn to look out the window again. Hopefully she won’t see me blushing.

“God Cherry, we were 13.”I say. She laughs too, her shoulders lazily move up into a shrug.  

“Whatever you say.”  I glare at her jokingly, and she pokes my side, the car moving dangerously close to the right.  She laughs nervously and a small “oops” slips from her lips, before she continues on torturing me. “Well, he is real cute now.  A bit quite though, but then again, he always kind of was huh?”  You nod silently, watching the tall trees pass in a blur.

  Daryl always was so quite, it took you nearly the whole summer to get him to string together a whole sentence.  But once you did, nothing could stop him from being with you.  Sure, he’d never rant to you or anything, but he’d hold good conversations and what he didn’t tell you, you found easy to pick up on how he acted around you.  But this was years ago.  You wonder how much has changed, and if you’ll ever be that close with him again?

“Mark ask’s him over sometimes, to work on this old car he bought, ya know just for some help.  He’d always ask about you.”  We share a look and I stare at my lap soon after, a blanket wrapped around me for the long drive.  She must have noticed my behavior because she quickly kept going, enjoying making me blush.  “Cute lil thing he is, he’d always work up a blush.  ‘How’s (Y/N) doing?’ or ‘(Y/N), she alright?’”  She shook her head with a wide smile, but I stare at her with something like horror on my face.  I try to calm myself before asking.

“What did you tell him?”  He smile drops, her grip on the wheel tighter than before.  

“Not the truth.  Said you were doing good.”  It was silent, her knuckles turned white. “He’d ask about you and Carter...”  Her voice trailed off venomously, before giving me a comforting look. “We tell him it’s nothing he has to worry about.” I nod my head.  It felt weird for me to thank her for lying for me, but I do anyway.  Daryl knowing bout everything, when we haven’t seen or been close to each other in years seems weird, like it would be a burden.

I’m 18 now, Daryl would’ve just turned 19.  You blush of thinking of how good looking he must be now. You always found him cute, but 13 was too young to do anything bout it.  Although you’d never admit it out loud, you always liked him.  He was good to you.  Better than your actual boyfriend...

“You okay, honey?”  Cherry’s voice breaks the silence, and thankfully your thoughts.  You run a hand down your face with a tight smile.

“Just tired, that’s all.”  Her smile faded faster than you would have liked it too.  You looked into her eyes just in time to catch the glistening pity in them before she faced the road again.  She knew your situation, everything you’ve been through.  

“I’ll tell the kids not to bug ya then.  Let ‘cha rest up first, yeah?”  I thank her but decline and face the window once again.  I hated sleeping in the car, always preferred watching out the window and thinking bout things instead. But maybe I should try, I wouldn’t want to make the kids sad.  I loved those two boogers.  Cherry had two little kids with her husband Mark.  One little boy named Monty, and a little girl they named Rosie.  I don’t even know how old they are now.  When I was there for the summer with my family so many years ago, Rosie was just born.  

“How old are they now?” I blush, almost ashamed of not knowing.  But I can hardly keep track of my life, let alone everyone elses.  She puts a hand on my knee, and squeezes it.  Instantly, I feel better, and talking about her kids obviously made her feel better too.

“Monty is 8, and Rosie is 5!  Monty just got super into dinosaurs, and we can’t keep Rosie out the lake.  She just learned how to swim, she got so big...”I listen to her drawl on about her kids with a sweet, unbothered feeling.  My excitement grows as she continues to tell me about them, and we are getting closer to their house.  Finally we pull into the familiar town, only about 15 minutes from her house now, which would mean we are only 26 minutes from Daryl’s.  I try not to think of him, or how nervous I am to see my old close friend, or what goes down in that house.  

I knew about what his father did to him, or I think I did.  He never told me about it but sometimes he’d stop by the old cabin on Cherry’s property where my mom and I stayed, and he’d be crying.  We’d sit by the lake in silence, sometimes I’d be hugging him and tracing the lumps and scars under his clothes, other times I’d catch a glimpse of a bruise on his face in the moonlight.  But whenever I’d ask, he’d push me away and I wouldn’t see him for a few days after, or until he seemed alright and I was dumb enough to believe that.  At my age and time in my life I never knew how bad it was.  Not until the same thing happened to me.  I never should have left Daryl there, knowing all that I did.  How can I face him again with all this guilt?  I was a terrible friend...

I feel an unwelcome burn in the back of my eyes and throat right as we pass the ice cream parlor, the car pulled into the parking lot and I smiled brightly.  Wiping at my eyes for a brief second before looking at Cherry with raised eyebrows. 

“Thought I’d treat ya.”  She chuckles at my expression.

“Giving me a place to live isn’t enough?”  I laugh out, she laughs too and we climb out of the car.  I leave the blanket in the seat, I’d rather die than have anyone here see me with a baby blue fuzzy thing wrapped around my waist.  

We step inside and Cherry says a few quick hello’s, and introduces me to some of her friends in there.  We grab our ice cream but I recognize an older couple from that blissful summer.

“Mr.Henderson right?”  I stop a older looking man from walking out the door, I put my hand out and he takes it with a hint of uncertainty.  His eyes scan me for any familiarity.  They land on my hair, and then deep in my eyes, his face lights up, before I could tell him who I am he beats me to it.

“(Y/N) (Y/L/N)!”  He pulls me into a hug, careful not to get chocolate ice cream in my hair.  “I don’t believe it!  Look at how grown you are!  Sharron get over here.”  He waves his wife over joyfully from the car, she gives him a loving smile before shaking her head at me.

“I’m sorry dear, I don’t reco-” She gasped mid-sentence and pulled me into a hug.  She looked back at Mr.Henderson.  “This is (Y/N) honey!”  He nods at her and she looks back at me grabbing at my hair and twirling it around her finger.  I flinch when her fingers first reached for me but she didn’t seem to notice, I’m glad.  “Look how beautiful...”  She hugs me again.  

Mr. and Mrs. Henderson are Cherry’s neighbors, about half a mile out.  I used to drag Daryl over there with me so we could grab some of their infamous lemonade every afternoon.  We’d stay there for hours and hang out in their tire swing, and their side of the lake has a huge flat rock by the shore.  Daryl and I used to lay on it in the hot sun.  Mrs.Henderson used to joke that if we weren’t careful we’d cook like eggs.  I haven’t seen them since that last summer day, when I went looking for Daryl to say goodbye.

Cherry politely pulled her off me, and gave them a stern look.

“(Y/N)’s a bit tired, I was just about to take her home.”She said.  Mrs.Henderson looked at the empty ice cream cup in my hand and frowned. 

“Well she can’t sleep with a tum full of ice cream.  See Cherry, this is why your kids never sleep on time.  You ain’t feedin’ em right.”  Cherry raised an eyebrow and looked at her wordlessly, lips pulled tight.  

“Well, it was so nice to see you again.  But we really should be going, and Mrs.Henderson, this ice cream never gave me any problems before.”  I wink and pull Cherry away from them before they start brawling.  Mom always got along better with the Henderson's than Cherry did, and they weren’t even our neighbors.  I guess that could be why.  

Mrs.Henderson grabs my elbow making me tense up.  “oh but don’t go.  Daryl just got here...look.”  Her hand left my elbow and she pointed down the street to a young man that I don’t recognize, walking stiffly towards us.  He’s tall, with broad shoulders and arms that looked good in his sleeveless shirt.    

As if sensing our eyes on him, he looks up.  My mouth slacks as I stare back into his startling blue eyes, the same ones that belong to Daryl Dixon.  Daryl stops walking and stares at me, his eyes trail slowly down my body, and back up to my eyes. His face wide with shock, quickly morphs into a scowl.  He shakes his head bitterly, brown hair falling on his forehead, and turns around, walking away from us in quick strides.  

Out of all the ways I imagined us meeting again, that was not one of them.  I can’t help myself from wondering what the hell that was all about?

[doof-doofblog]

"You Might Aswell Just Come Out!"

Thursday 10th September

Good evening again everyone! Hope your day has been a good one - whether you've been relaxing at home or whether you've been out and working, hope it's been a good day for you all! We are back again with another episode tonight, we know Tuesday's episode ended with Chantelle dropping the bombshell on Kheerat that she is planning on leaving Gray the very next day!! Clearly something is going to stop Chantelle in her tracks, but what?!

Let's delve right into it! The episode starts with Ian waking up in the Vic, Sharon has only gone and made him a full English Breakfast!! The absolute works! I can still sense the flicker of guilt from him - he doesn't really deserve the Vic or the appreciation that Sharon is giving him. She thanks him for looking after both her and her baby boy, saying how she feels like a princess each time he's ran out to get groceries for her! He's there giving her a smile, even though it looks a bit forced! It's as if everything with Dotty has been forgotten about, Sharon hasn't even begun to even suspect for once that Dotty could be telling the truth. It's only going to hit her harder when she realises.

Across the Square, it looks as if Gray is finally heading back to work. Chantelle is stood behind the counter looking nervous and scared to even talk or move. It's the day she's planning on leaving her husband for good! Before he leaves he asks her whether she has her phone, he demands her to keep it with her, oh you know, just in case! She asks him softly on what time he'll return, she tells him she'll have dinner ready. Is this so she can time it right for her to get away before he gets back? So if what I'm thinking is right - she has until 1 o'clock to get away! As he leaves the house she grabs her phone and makes a call, it sounds as if she's making an enquiry about an apartment or house of some kind that she can stay in? During the phone conversation she looks down at her ring, is she going to pawn her jewellery just so she'll be able to afford it?!

In the Market, Mick bumps into Tina - I'm sure they probably haven't seen each other since lock-down. I'm unsure where Mick and Linda are staying right now but it sounds as if they're all settled in their new home. Linda is doing well to stay sober also, the only downside is that Mick is struggling to find a job, with him being Landlord of the Queen Vic for a good few years, it's probably been hard for him to find something he's qualified for - as he explains to Tina, he's had 4 interviews but not got the job in any of them because he's overqualified! Luckily, Tina decides to give him a permanent position at The Albert. I don't know about you guys but it feels so weird seeing both Mick and Linda looking for jobs in the Square now, they've been a part of the Queen Vic for so long, it's weird not seeing them behind that bar! It's true they're already popular within their neighbourhood and community, I'm sure they'll have plenty of people rallying round them if they needed any help.

In the Mitchell household, Ben still has his little package in his pocket ready to give to Callum. Oh bless! He's all excited and ready to go the seaside to listen to the seagulls with his partner, only Callum refuses to go. I feel sorry for Ben at this moment in time, as he has no idea what Callum has found. He's been struggling to come to terms with the fact that he could potentially lose all his hearing, until yesterday when he had the implant and it was the first time in weeks that he heard Callum's voice! He explains to his boyfriend that that was one of the biggest days of his life and he's disappointed that Callum doesn't seem to care. Only we know, that Callum knows that Ben has been lying to him. It's kinda sad to watch because all Ben is wanting to hear, is Callum tell him that he loves him. Of course Callum wouldn't deny that he doesn't love Ben, but knowing that he's plainly lying to his face is just getting him more and more angry. Why won't Ben tell him the truth? To save him the upset possibly? To not come between him and his job? Who knows? But when Callum decides to bring Danny Hardcastle up, once again Ben lies to his boyfriend and says he's not seen him since that incident at Ruby's. Callum scoffs in disbelief that once again his boyfriend has lied to him, he leaves the conversation before anything else can be said.

The next time we see Chantelle it looks as if she's leaving the pawn shop, Karen approaches her excitedly saying how much she has missed her and the kids. Did any one else notice that Chantelle was fidgeting with her sleeves? Like she was trying to cover up her hands so her Mum wouldn't see that she's not wearing her ring?! Chantelle tries to dash as she uses the excuse she needs to take the children to the dentist. As Karen begins to leave, Chantelle then calls to her Mum that she'll bring the kids round to see her, as she's missed them so much. Plus with Chantelle's plan on leaving, she'll know she'll never forgive herself if her Mum and Dad didn't get the chance to say goodbye to their grandchildren. Only will this cause her to run late and corrupt her plan to get away?!

Ha! Sorry I just need to applaud Dotty for messing with Ian's head! She is brilliant! She actually made him believe that Sharon loves him! Did you see that little smile appear on his face after she walked away?! He actually believed her! Sharon has always said from the beginning that she and Ian are just close friends. Ian has only been "her rock" the past few months out of guilt. She fell apart after Dennis died, he took her in and looked after her and her baby son, and also as a massive gesture - bought her the Queen Vic! And since lock-down he has been living with her and Albie, as Dotty says - in the hopes of things actually getting more romantic and intimate between them. I think it's no secret that Ian has always held a bit of torch for Sharon, they've been close friends for years but I think deep down he has always truly loved her. As for Sharon, she's never seen Ian as anything else other than a close friend, she's never had any romantic feeling towards him - ever! So why the hell should she start now?! I love that Dotty has used this information to her advantage, Ian is only going to make another fool of himself!

Meanwhile, at the Taylor's, Chantelle is visiting her parents. As she sits down and listens to Karen talking about much she is missing Chatham and Riley, also Keegan and Tiffany now they've moved out, Chantelle is looking round and looking at all the family photos. I think she feels this will be the last time in a while that she'll get to see her Mum and Dad, so she's taking everything in. She turns to her Mum and tells her how much she loves her, and how much she loves her family and her parents. I'm sure deep down inside it is killing her knowing she'll be fleeing in a few hours. I just hope she would tell her parents exactly what was happening and why she has to leave. Just for a split moment when Mitch was going to hand her some money, I thought she might've said something then ... she slightly hesitated, did anyone else notice?  She decides to decline her Dad's offer of the money and says to him that Keegan would need it more, she takes one last look at her parents and softly says goodbye to them, not a thought in their mind aware of what she's about to do!

Ooooh look! Frankie's back! It's nice to see her making more of an appearance on the Square! It looks as if Kathy has given her a job at The Albert! Ooops - only to find that Tina has also hired Mick! #Awkward! ... In the recent new trailer that was released, it showed Frankie taking pictures of little Ollie. Does she have some kind of connection to the Carter's? Why would she be taking pictures of Ollie?! I'm looking forward to seeing more of Frankie and what could be her story-line involving the Carter's. I know Frankie was meant to have a story-line with Ben, I kinda have a feeling we haven't seen that yet? Only she was introduced to him by Callum, are we going to see something more from that side of things? Is Frankie going to show Ben the deaf community and how it all works, even though he's slowly getting his hearing back, it would enlighten Ben I think. Poor Mick, he decides to let Frankie have the job at The Albert, but as he leaves you can see the look of disappointment on his face, another job he's potentially lost? Will he be able to find something?

Back at Vic, Linda is having a lovely catch up with her best friend, Sharon. To be honest, it's lovely to see these two having a nice catch up and a chat the way they are. Obviously the roles have reversed with now Sharon behind the bar and Linda sat as a punter - but I watch them and I can't help but think it's so real how they've done it. With the whole social-distancing aspect in place, Sharon is behind the bar and Linda is sat at her table ... I think that whole scene was brilliant and it just felt very realistic. I loved how Ian was eavesdropping on their conversation, Sharon complimenting him on how amazing he's been to her though-out lock-down. He is going to high jump to conclusions! I love how they both laugh at the thought of both herself and Ian being an item, little does the poor man know how humiliated he's going to be!

Does anyone else seem to understand what Vinny and Ruby are up to? I kinda didn't understand that moment, to my understanding Ruby doesn't have insurance for the club? Am I right in thinking that? So Vinny is going to help her in some way - saying she's needs cash or something? I am so confused with this one! Vinny is seen loitering, waiting - for what looks like - Ruby to come out the club, she previously told him the club would be empty with cash in the safe! Is going to try and get that money for something or someone?

Awww and Chantelle looks as if she's ready to flee, she waiting for children, calling for them to hurry. Kheerat approaches her and pleads for her to tell him where she's going. Little does Chantelle that from across the road, Gray is watching her from his car. Watching as Kheerat and Chantelle have their little quick discussion, the look on Chantelle's face is utter fear as Gray makes himself known, Kheerat backs away and Gray reminds her that he didn't want Kheerat talking to her. I really feel for Chantelle right now, she almost got away. She was almost out of his grasp, as they walk into the house - Kheerat watches from a distance, catching Chantelle's eyes and Gray's. I am so sure that Kheerat's going to suss Gray out, he's going to find out exactly what's been happening! The BIG question is - will it be too late before he does?!

Back at The Albert, Ben finally catches up with Callum. He joins him at the table and apologises. He seems to think that Callum is upset because of Danny, but to what extent and why. It's only when Callum reveals that he'd figured out that he'd been lied to for months! He questions him why and what it means for their relationship. Ben claims it's literally because he's joined the police force and nothing else, but then again - it shouldn't matter what Callum's job was, he still should've told him the truth. He claims he was trying to protect him, protect him from what though? Protect his job? Protect his safety? The seriousness of the situation really hits home for Ben when he realises that he's been seen on CCTV! What does this mean for Ben and the Mitchell's? How is Callum going to be able to ignore it?

The following scene, Chantelle is back in her bathroom trying to find a hiding place for the money. She decides to put it in a make-up bag and hide it in the toilet, Gray shouts out for her as she makes herself look busy in the bathroom. Of course the first thing Gray notices, he engagement ring is missing! Oh shit! How is she going to be able to explain that one?! Perhaps say it's gone down the drain something?

Oh gosh this is really cringe-worthy isn't it! Ian trying to find the words to say to Sharon how he feels about her. How many women has he claimed to love on this soap?! Sharon seems to think there's something wrong with Albie, but he decides to jump right in the deep end and pour his heart out to her. Oh and I can see how awkward this is making Sharon feel, an awkward smile on her face, a nervous giggle, twiddling her fingers ... he tells her he loves her and even claims to know that she feels exactly the same way about him ... only when she explains to him that she doesn't, you can see his face drop in dismay. He's clearly realised he's made a huge mistake and has made himself look a fool. What's going to happen now between them? I don't think they'd be able to live together now things have been made to feel awkward between them. Will Ian move out and back in with his Mum while Sharon stays at The Vic?! Will Ian realise that it was Dotty who was playing with his mind?

Okay, so the last scene of tonight's episode, Vinny is seen sneaking out of Ruby's club, carrying a hefty looking bag ... Martin clicks on as to where he came from and begins to give chase. Has Vinny nicked all the money that was in the club's safe?!  Vinny heads to the back entrance of the Minute Mart, Martin slowly closing in ... he calls for him and slowly enters the shop, looking in all the nooks and cranny's. Only Vinny appears from behind and bashes him over the head with a fire extinguisher. Martin is left lying unconscious! What the hell has he done?! and why did he attack Martin in such a way?! Why does Vinny need the money? Was he getting the money for Kheerat as a favour?! Will Martin be okay?!

Once again folks, i'm deeply sorry for this post being posted late! Unfortunately it may take me a few days to write up about tomorrow's episode as i'm going to be away from my laptop/computer for about 3/4 days. But I promise I will be up to date as soon as I can. I hope you all have a fantastic weekend! Thank you all so much for taking your time to read my blog, I know the posts can be long but I just want you to know I appreciate it immensely! Thanks again folks! xXx

[tigerlilyhasablog]

Life During the Apocalypse

Hello darlings! Hope everyone is doing well… Hope you all are safe, healthy and not going too crazy if you are in self isolation. Since I’m stuck in the house with quite a bit of extra time, I’d like to try to blog a bit more than usual. I thought it would be kind of fun to share with you what I have been up to at home, so enjoy: The Day in the Life of a Quarantined Teen.🙃

Remote school

First for the dull stuff. My university moved to remote learning the week of March 6th, and while they originally said it would be “until further notice”, they have since announced that it will be like this for the rest of the semester. It’s definitely more boring than going to class, and I miss going to school and seeing people, but I don’t mind it that much. It’s kinda funny, ’cause I was homeschooled for most of my life, up until college, so doing this is like going back to the old days of being homeschooled. 🙂 Right now I’m actually on Spring Break, so this week I’m mainly just chillin’.

What I’ve been watching

I’ve been meaning to get Disney+ for eons now, but never got around to it. My sister and I decided that hey, what better time than now? The very first thing that we watched was High School Musical… Don’t judge me.😂 Somehow I had gone through life never having watched this iconic piece of pop culture, but I decided it was time to amend that. What can I say: it is equal amounts completely terrible and utterly amazing.

Finally watched The Mandalorian as well, which is really, genuinely good. I feel so-so about most Star Wars stuff – I don’t dislike it, but I don’t love it – but damn, I got into this show immediately. The way that they’ve made it like a Western? So good. The characters, the visuals, the storyline… 👌🏻 And yes, I would die for Baby Yoda.

Once we finished that season, we began on Agent Carter, and we just finished the first season last night. I felt so-so about it for like, the first two episodes, but after that I got really into it and like, damn, it’s really good! Two thumbs up from me.

Other than Disney, the only other thing that I’ve watched recently is The Miseducation of Cameron Post. It’s been on my want-to-watch list for a while now, and the other day my school gave me access to a site with a bunch of free films on it, one of which was this movie, which I was really excited about. Fuck, it was good. Really hit hard, Chloe Grace Moretz was incredible, as was the rest of the cast, just a really powerful story of course. I liked the indie feel of the whole thing… Sometimes you can just tell, you know? The 90s aesthetic was also great.

What I’ve been listening to

Being stuck in the house has giving me lots of opportunity to listen to music basically all of the time, so let me share some of the stuff I have been loving right now:

Conan Gray’s Kid Krow – I am really loving this album. It is packed with bops, as well as some fantastic sad-boi songs. I’ve liked Conan’s stuff for a bit now, but in a rather passive way… Now I would say that my fan-ness (not a word, I know) has been solidified.

Ed Sheeran – let me introduce you to the little underground indie artist I’ve recently discovered. Haha. It’s kinda funny that I’ve gotten so into Ed lately, cuz I mean, of course I’ve listened to his stuff for a while now. But like, I guess I’ve never delved very deep into his discography? But lately I’ve been listening to the entirety of each of his albums, and I’m a little obsessed. Guess I should have believed the hype sooner, huh?

Alec Benjamin – someone else who I’ve been into for quite a while, but who I’ve been listening to even more lately. His songs have made their way onto “Music of the Month” a couple times already, and I’ll tell you right now that he’s on there this month, too. 🙂 I don’t think he has a single bad song. I have tickets to see him in May, provided corona doesn’t fuck that up, and I’m really excited!

Lauv’s Modern Loneliness – bops. bops. bops. What else can I say? Bops.

Foster the People – ok, this band has such nostalgia for me. Torches was like, all that I listened to in like 2012/13. I hadn’t really listened to them lately, and hadn’t really explored their more recent stuff. But the other day I put on their Spotify playlist and had a dance party to them all afternoon and it made me so fucking happy.

What else I’ve been up to

Spending way too much time on the internet – gotta go ahead and get this one out of the way. I’d love to say that I’ve been super productive and learned a ton of new things and been really creative, but if I’m entirely honest, what I’ve really done is wasted a ton of time on YouTube/Tumblr/TikTok.😬

Drawing – I have gotten some stuff done though! I haven’t used this time for art as much as I’d like, but I’ve been sketching some, and also been playing around with a drawing app… I’ve always been a pencil-and-paper person, but doing it digitally is kinda fun!

My latest project? A vine compilation, of course.😂 Here is the beginnings of it:

Making music – again, not as much as I should be, but I’ve been playing the guitar and singing quite a bit. I’ve been doing it in a very relaxed, just-singing-what-i-want-to kind of way, which is nice. I guess I’ll use this opportunity to plug my Soundcloud (which I rarely post on, oops.)

Working out – I always exercise pretty regularly, but I’ve decided that this is the perfect opportunity to ramp it up a bit. My family and I have been going on walks every day, since that’s the only way we can get out, and I’ve been doing the Chloe Ting 2 Week Shred Challenge. It’s fucking tough, but I’m very excited about getting in shape.

Texting for the Bernie Sanders team – this has been fun! It’s a super-easy way to get involved in a campaign… I’d love to say I could make calls, and I hope to eventually, but it makes me really nervous. But texting is something anyone can do! Basically all campaigns have moved online, so if you have some extra time on your hands, get involved from home, either in a political campaign or something on the activism side of things! You can text, call, do stuff with social media… do it!

Catching up with friends – this one is smaller in terms of how much I’ve been doing it, but I’d just like to remind you that this is a great time to text or call someone you haven’t spoken to in a while. I know I often feel weird about just contacting someone out of the blue, but in a strange time such as this I think it is the perfect opportunity to check in with someone and see how they are holding up. Even though we can’t see each other in person, we’ve got to stick together in this tough time and keep up our relationships in a long-distance fashion.

Final thoughts

Okay, that’s all for now! It’s looking like this whole situation is gonna last for a while, so maybe I’ll make another one of these in a few weeks and let you know what else I’ve been up to! I’d just like to end with a little thought:  if you are stuck at home and bored and going a little stir-crazy, please remember that we are privileged to be in this situation. There are some people for whom this means that they are out of work, desperate, scared. There are others who are older or immunocompromised who know that getting the virus could be a matter of life or death. Others are not able to work from home and have no choice but to go out every day and risk getting infected. And others have been forced to go home and be quarantined with abusive family members. Even though this is tough for everyone, if your main problem is that you are bored, make sure you put it into perspective and be grateful that that is your biggest worry.

I hope that didn’t sound preachy, but I just think we have to remember that it could be a lot worse. Now, stay safe, stay healthy, and for fuck sake, don’t go out unless you have to. ❤️

[lovelyirony]

I just came here to say, can you imagine after endgame Sharon finds Nat's white suit in her belongings and decides to wear it and make it her own as a reminder of what she lost and what is left to fight for?

When Sharon Carter first came to SHIELD, she wanted to be just like the other agents. 

And yet that was hard for her. It was hard to act like every other agent because she wasn’t like the other agents and they knew it. 

She had someone in the organization before her. That’s why she was Agent 13. There were always members of family, but it was usually only the agents that either posed an individual danger or a family danger that got the number. 

In the first two weeks, the rookies had figured out that Sharon and Peggy shared the same harsh gaze when they were frustrated. 

They scorned her, leaving her to fend for herself. 

“You got in because of Carter,” they sneer. “I’d rather have someone who actually earned their spot.” 

“Even if that did happen, do you think my aunt would’ve let me into this profession if I wasn’t as skilled as you?” Sharon fires back. “I can finish this mission in twenty minutes on my own if I really wanted to.” 

“Then do it,” Agent Riker bites, smirking. “Go ahead and prove yourself, Thirteen.” 

Nineteen minutes and twenty-two seconds. 

And she does it all in a white t-shirt and jeans, the worst outfit that could’ve been. 

“So what, you’ve proved yourself,” they shrug. “Doesn’t make a difference to us.” 

So Sharon scraps the idea of having people who are friends at work, friends that she can talk to and go to the bar with after work. 

And then she does perhaps the ballsiest move. 

She orders a custom white jumpsuit. 

The SHIELD tailor laughs. He’s an old man who goes by the name Joe. 

“You’re crazy,” he tells her, sweeping a measuring tape across her shoulders. “Maybe they need a little crazy.” 

Sharon nods, looking at herself in the mirror. 

She shows up to work in white, ponytail out of the way. 

Fury gives her a look. 

“Really, Thirteen?” 

“Everyone’s already criticizing,” Sharon answers. “Why not get some for the suit as well?” 

White really is her color. It’s what she’s known for, and a lot of agents still criticize her for it. 

“You trying to show off even more?” one sneers. 

“Why would I have to after your last mission?” Sharon answers sweetly. “It’s clear to me that you obviously need more tips on how to be inconspicuous.” 

It’s bitchy. She knows that. But she also can’t be bothered to give a shit if they’re judging her by family and not by skill. 

And then Black Widow. 

Natasha Romanoff takes one look her and scoffs. 

“Got something to say?” Sharon asks. 

“I don’t get the white suit.” 

“You will,” Sharon responds. “Just wait.” 

Romanoff hears the rumors. Sharon Carter only got into the organization because of her connection to her great-aunt. 

“You really think SHIELD would be that stupid?” She asks Agent Riker. “To hire an agent off a basis of family? I thought they hired people smarter than you.” 

Sharon’s surprised. 

She also makes her first friend. 

Natasha Romanoff is deadly, has horrible humor, and wears fun socks after Sharon takes her to get some color in her wardrobe. 

“You cannot tell anyone,” Nat makes her swear. 

“Who is there to tell?” Sharon asks, grinning. “Besides Clint.” 

“Clint doesn’t count, I’m not even sure if he’s human. He ate a paper plate because he was too tired to differentiate it from the pizza in the fridge.” 

“I love that man,” Sharon deadpans. “I think if I ever dated men, he would be my type.” 

Natasha laughs. 

They’re friends. Sharon’s there with coffee in the rough mornings and Natasha is there with words that have lost their edge as she sheds her reputation at the door. 

- 

The Avengers is a new thing for Natasha. She loves it because she tells Sharon that it makes her feel like she finally has a family and she’s doing something that’s worthy. 

Sharon ignores the jealousy and envy and sadness burning in her gut as she takes a sip of her wine glass and asks Natasha how it is working with Captain America. 

(She knows who he is. She’s always known. But that kind of connection is one that she’s not sure she’ll ever flaunt because Steve does not know that she knows Steve.) 

Natasha gets more involved with the Avengers and still texts Sharon, but she knows. This friendship is fading and Sharon turns back to a white jumpsuit lying on the couch when she gets home and gets out of her shower. 

Natasha can’t make it to lunch. Or dinner. And their shopping trip gets cancelled by an Avengers mission. 

Then Sharon loses SHIELD, which in some cases was everything to her. It’s the last connection to family, to a place where Sharon did what she did best: her job. 

And now it’s razed to the ground and the Avengers are still there and Natasha--

She has her hands full. 

Sharon bitterly looks up at the sky to see the Iron Man armor and for a brief moment, hates the team that has taken her friend from her. 

But Sharon has shit to do. She has to decide if she wants to work for the FBI or CIA, and which one can offer her more security. 

CIA agents don’t give a singular shit if she came from SHIELD or what her last name means. They’re mostly concerned with making sure that the Congress and the Senate don’t fuck everything up and that they catch whoever the hell is eating all of the leftovers on the third floor fridge. 

Sharon gets paid for this. Real, actual money. 

And they know that she’s good and they send her on protection missions and she misses Natasha’s calls and she doesn’t feel quite bad about it. 

It’s when she’s assigned to survey Germany because some idiot used facial recognition software and Steve’s making boneheaded decisions that she reconnects with Natasha. 

“Your hair got longer,” Natasha says. 

“Nice of you to notice,” Sharon says tersely. “Do you have any idea how much trouble you’re about to be in? You won’t be able to go anywhere.” 

“Anywhere, really?” Natasha asks, amused. “I’m sure I can think of someone who would welcome me back with open arms.” 

“Clint doesn’t count,” Sharon fires back. 

“Not who I meant.” 

“I know exactly what you meant,” Sharon says. “No calling, no plans, all of it cancelled. You’re a family kind of girl, Nat.” 

“You’re part of it.” 

Sharon turns, incredulous. “Really. You’re doing this now?” 

Sharon knows Natasha like she knows her apartment. She could walk it with her eyes closed. And she knows that Natasha is never this open, not in public. 

“Either you’ve changed how you approach your emotions or you’ve gotten sloppy in how you manipulate people,” Sharon says, casual as can be. “I know that you want to go against this. I understand that because chances are later on down the road this will blow up in your face.” 

“And now you’re going to pretend like you didn’t slip that file to Steve?” Natasha accuses. 

“I slipped it to Steve because as much as I don’t like this, I don’t want an innocent man to die,” Sharon hisses. 

She has her white jumpsuit. But she hangs it up in her closet because for something like what they’re planning, she can’t afford to be in white. This isn’t like the twenty minute missions. 

And then it gets more serious and she’s fighting like hell against Thanos and his aliens and the fact that everyone is gone. 

But not Natasha. Not she’s still on this earth and Sharon knows it kills her because she’s never thought she was enough for that. 

They make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and sit on the floor in a sunroom. It’s a beautiful day, probably one too beautiful for how many memories they both hold. 

“I don’t know if it’ll be okay,” Natasha says. Her voice is thick with unsaid and unheard emotion, and Sharon pulls her into a hug. 

“It might not be,” Sharon says quietly. “But we’ll have to keep going anyway.” 

So Sharon is introduced to Steve, the guy with a beard who still keeps fighting and looks at Sharon as if he’s expecting someone else. (She pretends like she doesn’t know what he’s doing.) 

She starts looking at sightings and patterns and helps people who she’s never met help keep the world safe. 

Natasha and Sharon tell stories to each other of people they’ve known. Sharon listens as she grieves and Natasha finds out that Sharon’s own family has been gone. 

They spend Christmas together and Christmas kind of sucks right now because everyone is crying and the only thing that’s sold out at stores are tissues. 

Sharon wonders if Tony got dusted. No one knows. He was up in space and they haven’t found him yet and she can’t say it doesn’t hurt. 

But then. He comes down in his spaceship, Carol Danvers finding him on the verge of death. 

He can’t stand the sight of Steve, and Sharon can’t say he blames him. She’s in charge of getting him to in-house care and making sure he doesn’t stray off the nutrition goal. 

Pepper and Rhodey sit by his side all the time and they give Sharon looks because she’s Tony’s cousin but not really, not in the sense of a traditional cousin. 

She met him that one time when he was probably a little bit buzzed, definitely over having small children look up to him and ask if they can have him play, and probably brushed her off. 

Or something. 

He’s angry with Steve and tells Sharon right off the bat that he refuses to have anything to do with what’s going on. 

“This is my second chance and as shitty as it is for all of you, I’m keeping it,” Tony says firmly. 

Sharon says okay because she really can’t blame him. 

(Not when six months after he gets back and gets himself better, Pepper announces that she’s expecting.) 

Sharon visits often. She brings Pepper her first supply of diapers and formula and Pepper smiles and says she’s welcome for lunch if she’d like. 

Natasha doesn’t talk to Tony. Sharon thinks she kind of resents her own position in this whole thing, but Tony nods to her and they understand each other on a level that’s changed. 

“Do you think you’ll ever want a family?” Natasha asks one night. They watch the stars and come up with new names for them and sometimes talk about emotions. Like tonight. 

“I’m not made for that,” Sharon says. “Work and all.” 

“Me either.” 

Sharon looks at her. 

“No, you are. Because you care so much. You just learned it a little bit differently. You’ll get your family, Nat.” 

Natasha gives her that pained smile, the one that holds so much wisdom and hurt in it, and they drink their beers in silence as Sharon contemplates the next mode of questioning that doesn’t have to do with loss or the future. (Possibility: cats.) 

And then Scott Lang makes a fucking appearance. They’re not sure how, but he gets out and starts rambling about time travel and they take it to Tony who says “no thank you and goodbye” and Steve tries to get him to help but he won’t. 

(It’s bitter in Sharon’s mouth, but it’s the kind of bitter you understand that you can’t spit out.) 

Natasha thinks about all the people that are lost. 

Sharon asks Scott how well he can do math. 

Tony passes along a note, and it seems that Scott gets it, because they’re going to time-travel. 

Clint and Natasha leave together, because they’re like two peas in a pod. 

“I’ll see you soon,” Natasha says, grinning. Her smile is so nice. 

“You better,” Sharon teases. “We still need Margarita Mondays.” 

And then Sharon is also gone on a mission to go see her aunt and see Steve witness what he’s lost. Sharon looks at a young picture of her great-uncle. 

“She had a good life, didn’t she?” Sharon murmurs. “She got to have somebody she loved and she got to have kids.” 

“Yes, yes she did,” Steve says quietly. 

It’s heavy for him but he relaxes and they run into Howard Stark, who doesn’t quite understand why Sharon’s there but doesn’t really push it because he’s excited for a new baby. 

“There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for that baby,” he says with a gentle smile that’s so fake Sharon can’t believe it. 

So she says something. Because she can’t keep her mouth shut. 

“You practice that every night in front of the mirror?” 

Steve scolds her, but she thinks it’s worth it. She can’t wait to tell Natasha. 

- 

Natasha doesn’t come back. She died for a fucking rock and Sharon breaks because that was her friend. That was someone that she would’ve given the world for, and now she won’t get to tell her about her sick one-liner or about how time travel kind of feels like you’re going on a loopy roller coaster. 

She’s gone. 

But then Sharon can’t focus on it because she has to fight against Thanos who apparently is from a different time zone and has come to destroy everything again, and Sharon really can’t let Tony do his whole “self-sacrifice” shtick he pulls. (Jesus, if he couldn’t have just pulled a Dean Martin maybe they would’ve had televised roasts instead of a universal fight...) 

Tony doesn’t die. She doesn’t think he deserves that. But he falls to his knees, the stones fading, and she’s holding him to stabilize him as he falls and his family comes and he gets rushed to the nearest medical facility Dr. Cho can find. 

And Sharon is alone. 

She doesn’t particularly like being alone in this instance but sometimes you have to be because those are the cards out of the deck. 

So she helps relocate families, tells those who were gone the news, and buys herself a pint of ice cream. The news is talking about all these new accommodations and what it’ll do to the price market. She finds that she doesn’t much care and she thinks that all those conversations will be a thing of the past. 

And there things to go through. Things from the dead. Clint has his family to focus on, and so it is up to Sharon to get Natasha’s things. 

Then she finds it. 

A white jumpsuit. 

Natasha had called Sharon’s “stupid” for years, with no real explanation to why except for the fact that she would get caught easier. 

(“Maybe that’s my intention,” Sharon says, body leaning in too close. “Maybe I want to get noticed so that I can get it done quicker.” 

Natasha gives her a dim smile. 

“Doesn’t always mean you get the job done as quickly and efficiently as possible.” 

And then Sharon didn’t ask her about that. Figured it wasn’t her place.) 

A white jumpsuit is something she didn’t know connected them. And she remembers having her own, but this one...this one has to be used. Has to be reinstated because someone needs to carry on who Black Widow is. Or rather, who Natasha Romanoff was. 

It’s a slow start. But Sharon starts wearing the white jumpsuit that’s a little bit loose around the shoulders and looks for criminals, because god knows there will be a plethora of those. 

Bucky and Sam join her in this. They were both gone and still look stupidly gorgeous, although Sam has the shield because Steve has decided it would be utterly convenient to go on a little time travel trip. 

(Sharon’s not sure what’s up with that, but so long as she doesn’t start remembering a Great-Uncle Steve, she’s fine with it.) 

It’s hard, definitely. Because sometimes she pulls out her phone to send something to Natasha, and she’s...well. She’s not there. 

Sharon will sometimes wear her old jackets with outfits and cry, but she still has the memories. 

A cute white jumpsuit can’t hurt either. 

[purplesurveys]

1031

Do you usually take blame or blame others? Depends on the context, I guess? When things go wrong on a very deep and personal level between me and people I deeply care for, I usually try to find reasons to blame myself. But if it’s something superficial, like if someone messes up at work through no fault of my own, then I’m able to point my finger to whoever fucked up.

Have you ever been to a McDonald’s in another state? I’ve been to McDonald’s in different provinces and also  in different countries. The McDonald’s we went to in Baguio was so surreal because we discovered that they were still using styrofoam containers that they had already phased out years ago everywhere else, and they also never changed the original spaghetti and chicken recipes I grew up with. It was such a blast from the past. As for other countries, I’ve tried out the McDonald’s in Malaysia, Indonesia, and China and made sure to order items that we didn’t have back home.

Have you ever seen 50 First Dates? Yeah, it’s one of my semi-guilty pleasures. It’s such a cheesy movie, but idk the concept is unique and the supporting characters made the whole movie enjoyable for me.

Do you like or hate the smell of fish? The fishy smell at the market can be pretty strong and bleck, but generally I don’t mind the smell of fish. I live in an archipelago, man. We live and breathe seafood. Idk anyone in real life who doesn’t like fish.

Have you ever been to Sea World? No.

Do you know someone who suffers from short term memory loss? I don’t think so, no.

Have you ever read any of John Green’s books? Yeah, but the only one I’ve gotten to read in full was The Fault In Our Stars. I also got to start on The Abundance of Katherines and Paper Towns, but because I only borrowed those copies from friends I never got to read either until the end. All were okay, but I don’t find John Green’s writing to be as great as it was once hyped up to be.

If so, which one is your favorite? I guess TFIOS, since that’s the only one I got to read through to the end.

Are you a protective person? With my loved ones and pets, yes.

Have you ever experienced an earthquake? Yeah I’ve felt a lot but fortunately it’s never been a severe one. Just super brief earthquakes where the most that happened to me was a little swaying.

Would you rather go to a beach or city for a vacation? I love beaches, but a change in scenery would also be nice because I already go to beaches for vacations fairly often. City.

Does your license plate number contain the number 8? I never actually memorized my plate number LOOOOOOL I think so? It’s either a 6 or 8.

Were you ever a ghost on Halloween? Nope.

Has someone ever held the door open for you? Yeah, security guards tend to do that for customers/guests. Sometimes, nice strangers that I enter a place with will do it for me too.

Are you a fan of penguins? I think fan is pushing it far lol. I like penguins, but I’m not obsessed.

Have you ever stayed up all night on a school night? Just a handful of times, and it was always as part of a groupwork. I’d never willingly go through an all-nighter for myself.

What’s your favorite brand of chips? Doritos or Pringles. We also have a local brand that makes these deeeeeelicious salted egg chips, but I’ve never actually taken note of what the brand is.

Has anyone ever sang to you? Not to me. But a lot of people have sung around me.

Are you a good painter? No. That’s why I opt for paint-by-number kits, because those come with a guide haha. I can’t actually craft images by myself – that skill belongs to my sister who has an insane talent for painting.

Before buying a car, do you usually test drive it? I’ve never bought a car by myself; my dad takes care of the car purchases. I know he test-drove the Vitara, but idk about the other cars we have.

Have you ever written a poem and then read it aloud? Hmm, I don’t write poems. I don’t find the vast majority of them appealing, and only once in a while will there be a poem that is able to speak to me.

Do you like pineapple? Nope.

Have you ever met your favorite author? I don’t have a favorite.

Do you look more like your mom or dad? Most comments point to my mom, but I’ll get the occasional remark that half of my face is my dad’s as well. I’m a good mix of both.

Have you and your best friend ever liked the same person? This hasn’t happened before.

When was the last time someone called you babe or baby? Maybe August? I’m not too sure. It’s been a few months.

Do you have an older brother? No. But I’m super close with my eldest cousin on my mom’s side and we grew up together and all that, and I pretty much consider him my older brother. He’s definitely more a brother than a cousin to me, and it has always felt and been that way.

Are you a fan of art? Yes, especially paintings and dioramas.

Did you get your mom or dad’s eyes? My mom’s, I think? I really don’t know, I’m bad at recognizing this kind of stuff. You’d have to ask people who actually see me on a daily basis.

Have you ever seen the movie My Girl? Is this the one with the really sad scene of a boy’s funeral and the girl’s like, “He can’t see without his glasses”? I haven’t seen the movie, but I’ve heard about that scene a million times.

Do you watch Teen Wolf on MTV? Ugh, MTV’s teen shows are such a cringefest to me. I never followed it, but I’ve had to watch a few eps back in high school when my friends would watch it while we were at someone’s place. Not my cup of tea.

When it was on, did you watch Cory In The House on Disney? I watched a few episodes, especially when it was still new. But we were also in the process of moving then and we didn’t have cable for a few years in our new house, so I had to miss out most of it.

Do you have any blackheads? I don’t.

Do you have any freckles? Nope.

Do you have a movie that you have to watch during the summer every year? No, but I have something similar. I like watching Love Actually at least once every year, during the Christmas season. I like watching Two for The Road once a year as well, regardless of the time of year.

Do you think that life isn’t fair sometimes? I mean yeah. It doesn’t revolve around me, so I know it won’t always be fair.

When was the last time someone bought you flowers? Valentine’s Day last year.

What was the last book you read? Midnight Sun. Haven’t touched it since September, though.

How many books do you plan to read this summer? It’s past summer, and I haven’t been doing a lot of reading in general.

Does your house have a dishwasher? No, not a common appliance here.

Do you know anyone who has a flower tattoo? I probably do. But I haven’t seen people outside of family for so long that I can barely remember who has which tattoos. I’m pretty sure I know someone who has flowers.

Do you like the name Carter? It just reminds me of the underwear brand honestly, so not a fan.

Have you ever had a secret admirer? No. Should there be one, they shouldn’t be having high hopes; I wouldn’t be interested in the least.

How many different languages can you say goodbye in? There’s English, Filipino, Korean, Spanish, German, French, Japanese – 7.

Agree or disagree: You like Adam Sandler movies. Disagree for the most part, but 50 First Dates is cute.

--

Did the last type of shoes you wore have laces? Yups. I wore sneakers when I went out to get Starbucks last Friday evening.

How much money did you spend yesterday? The charging cable that I ordered arrived yesterday, so I had to shell out ₱140 for that.

What genre is your favorite movie? It’s a romcom/drama. My other favorite is a drama.

Are you texting anybody right now? Nope. I’m all alone today, which is the way I want to be for this weekend.

Who was the last person you were in a car with? My parents.

Do you like the picture on your license/I.D. card? I really do, hahaha. I don’t know why the people at the LTO gave me a pass, but I had been allowed to smile with my teeth. That helped make my license photo turn out super well and I no longer feel embarrassed whenever I have to take it out and present it somewhere.

What’s your favorite thing to snack on while watching a movie? Potato Corner fries. Can’t be any other type of fries.

When was the last time somebody hit on you? July or August when this random guy slid into my PMs. I had never had so much fun blocking somebody so fast.

Was the last person you met a male or female? The last new person I met was male.

Which one of your friends do you feel most comfortable around? Angela or Andi.

Do you own a map of the world? I mean, I guess. I have a collection of the World Almanac for Kids books, and it had always included a world map in its Countries chapter every year.

What’s your favorite Thanksgiving food? We don’t celebrate Thanksgiving.

Is the light on in the room you’re in? No, doesn’t have to be as it’s bright out and I can see the sun from my window.

Who did you last spoon with? Gabie.

Are you currently watching TV? No.

Have you ever had surgery or stitches? Never. Hope I’ll never be needing one.

Do you own any clothing that has animal print? I have a tank top with cheetah print that I sometimes wear at home.

Does your family eat dinner together? Yes, every evening. We don’t eat together when my dad is working abroad, but since he has stayed home for all of 2020 because of Covid, we’ve gotten to eat together as a family all year.

Where do you work? Somewhere in Metro Manila; I’m not giving the city away.

Are you in high school? I got out of there nearly five years ago.

Do you have a TV in your room? I used to, but not anymore.

Are any of your electronics charging right now? My phone and laptop both are.

What was the last video game you played? Mario Kart 8.

--

Are you hungry?: I can def go for a snack, or maybe even a full meal. It’s taking everything in me not to order Popeye’s or Army Navy from Grab rn.

What color is the chair you’re sitting on?: I’m sitting up in bed; my sheets are blue with gold/yellow prints.

What did you buy last time you went to the store?: I got bottled coffee when I went to 7-Eleven a week ago.

Do you like salsa that has fruit in it?: ...Don’t all types of salsa have fruit in them though? It would be brand-new knowledge to me if I was told not all salsas have fruit.

Have you ever opened up your computer to clean the fan on the inside?: No. I’d rather have professionals do that.

Can you count in binary?: No, and I never even understood how it works.

Do you think stained glass windows are pretty?: No. Mostly because it reminds me of cathedrals.

Are you a chocoholic?: Nah. I like chocolate, but I can live without it.

Are you scared of snakes?: I mean if they were venomous or obviously wanted to eat me whole, of course. But I’ve also already held a couple of snakes before.

Have you had your wisdom teeth removed?: No.

Do you like hard or soft pretzels better?: Soft all the way. I find the hard ones too salty.

What was the last magazine or catalog you looked through?: I don’t even remember. Maybe Tatler? My grandma has loads of those at her house.

When was the last time you wore a raincoat?: I don’t think I have ever worn a raincoat.

Have you ever been carded when buying something?: Idk what that is but nothing out of the ordinary has ever happened to me whenever I’ve made a purchase, so I’m gonna go ahead and say no.

Do you eat meat?: Yep.

Corn and mashed potatoes, or beans and rice?: Both pairings aren’t really a part of our cuisine, so neither sound appealing to be honest. As someone who thrives on rice, I hate the idea of eating beans with it; so I would go with corn and mashed potatoes even though I’m having a hard time imagining how it would work.

Can you sleep with the light on?: I probably can, but it would take me a lot longer to fall asleep.

What’s your operating system of choice?: Mac/iOS.

Have you ever broken a bone?: Never.

Do you have a favorite highlighter color?: I don’t have a favorite color to use, but I prefer pastel shades in general over neon.

Do you have a flashlight?: My phone has a built-in flashlight, but we also keep a couple of emergency flashlights at home in case of blackouts.

Do you like watermelon?: I like some watermelon-flavored stuff like candies, but I’m not fond of the fruit.

…Honeydew?: Hahahahahaha. BoJack Horseman, anyone? Anyway, I’ve never had honeydew and probably wouldn’t like it considering my established opinion on fruits.

Can you shoot a gun?: I’ve never tried, so I’ll say no. I’ve always been meaning to go to a shooting range though; I feel like it’ll be such a cool experience.

Do you like salad?: Not for the most part. The only kind I enjoy is spicy tuna salad, which only has lettuce in it alongside tuna sashimi and spicy mayonnaise.

When was the last time you smashed your finger?: I don’t know if I ever have? This doesn’t ring a bell to me.

What color is your computer?: Silver/gray.

Have you ever made ice cream in chemistry class?: No, my chemistry classes in high school and college were never that fun.

Has anyone ever walked in on you while you were on the toilet?: Sure.

What color hair do you have?: Black.

Do you use the microwave often?: I wouldn’t say so; just a couple of times a month.

Are you good at spelling?: Sure, I’d claim that. Thank the movie Akeelah and the Bee; that movie made me super passionate about spelling and dictionaries for a time. I can still feel its effects today because I’m still very much particular about spelling more so than any other kind of writing/language mechanic.

Have you ever petted a donkey?: I’ve never even seen one before :o but I’d love to have the chance to pet one, heh. It would make me so happy.

When was the last time you went to the doctor’s for a physical?: 2016.

Do you like a lot of ice in your drinks?: Sure.

Have you ever painted a room? Never have, but would like to give it a try.

[aellafm]

           hello  !  i’m  cc  &  i  simply  have  no  brain  !  currently  stuck  in  a  head  empty  ,  no  thoughts  mood  –  idk  how  i  always  have  muse  for  new  muses  ,  but  here  i  am  anyway  with  aella  ,  who  –  basic  rundown  ,  cause  this  is  so  fucking  long  ,  is  the  only  daughter  of  the  duke  &  duchess  of  sutherland  (  i  ?  am  not  english  but  i  am  reaching  ,  call  me  out  )  &  as  the  sole  heir  ,  has  adopted  the  title  of  marchioness  of  stafford  but  has  decided  to  just  spend  her  days  as  a  conniving  socialite  until  she’s  ultimately  married  off  .  but  ,  if  you’d  like  to  plot  ,  please  like  this  &  i’ll  be  on  my  zippity  way  over  .

 stats  .

there’s     aella     huntington     -     keene   !     though     on    their     socials     they     go     by     @365aella     .     i     heard     she     is     originally     from     london     ,     england     ,     but     made     the     big     move     to     los     angeles     to     join     TWENTIES     .     you     haven’t     heard     about     it     ?     well     ,     apparently     their     dream     is     to     marry     someone     that     pisses     off     her     parents    &    enjoy     a     life     as     a     trophy     wife   ,     but     they     have     no     chance     unless     they     quit     being     so     avaricious     &     devious     .     that     said     ,     those     behind     the     scenes     have     said     they     can     be     loquacious     &     spellbinding     too.     guess     we’ll     have     to     watch     and     find     out     !   ━     &     overflowing     glasses     of     bubbly     champagne     to     hide     welled     up     tears     in     solemn     eyes     ,     toes     digging     into     the     sand     whilst     angry     tears     fall     into     the     earth     ,     hiding     behind     an     air     of     ditz     to     pretend     she     isn’t     calculating     someone’s     downfall     &     exchanging     secrets     as     a     form     of     payment     ;     learning     that     enigmas     are     worth     much     more     than     gold     .  (     park     chaewon     ,     cis     female     ,     she     /     her     )  

𝓲.     𝕒𝕓𝕣𝕚𝕕𝕘𝕖𝕞𝕖𝕟𝕥   .

birth   name   :   bomi  kim current   name   :   aella  huntington  -  keene nickname(s) :   bomi  –  to  close  loved  ones  only  ,  marchioness  ,   age   :  twenty gender   /   pronouns :  cis  gendered   female   /   she  /  her  /  hers orientation   :  bisexual   /   biromantic hometown   :   london  ,  england faceclaim :  park  chaewon  (  gowon  of  loona  )

fun facts  :   genuinely  has  a  collection  of  crowns  –  just  like  –  a  closet  full  of  crowns  ,  just  genuinely  feels  like  a  Beacon  of  Death  but  she  doesn’t  even  talk  about  it  ,  swears  up  &  down  she  was  almost  casted  in  riverdale  (  for  what  ?  that’s  not  impressive  ,  aella  )  ,  is  an  oxford  graduate  actually  but  also  ?  just  doesn’t  mention  it  ,  fully  believed  in  mermaids  until  like  two  years  ago  ,  aella  just  smells  like  the  sea  &  that’s  just  how  it  be  ,  really  good  at  knitting  &  knits  those  huge  blankets  when  stressed  but  doesn’t  give  them  away  so  just  has  a  closet  full  of  blankets  ?  –  &  speaking  of  closets  ,  aella  just  has  like  fifteen  closets  .

aesthetic  :  overflowing  glasses  of  bubbly  champagne  to  hide  welled  up  tears  in  solemn  eyes  ,  toes  digging  into  the  sand  whilst  angry  tears  fall  into  the  earth  ,  hiding  behind  an  air  of  ditz  to  pretend  she  isn’t  calculating  someone’s  downfall  ,  exchanging  secrets  as  a  form  of  payment  ;  learning  that  enigmas  are  worth  much  more  than  gold  ,  her  own  personal  graveyard  with  everyone  she’s  ever  loved  who’s  left  her  too  early  ,  searching  for  the  love  she’s  never  been  shown  only  to  force  it  out  when  she  finds  it  &  baby  blue  tulle  covering  a  silk  dress  worth  hundreds  of  thousands  of  dollars  .

playlist  :  she  says  by  eve  owen  ,  to  die  for  by  sam  smith  ,  kings  &  queens  by  ava  max  ,  wicked  game  by  grace  carter  .

𝓲𝓲.     𝕔𝕙𝕣𝕠𝕟𝕚𝕔𝕝𝕖   .

trigger  warning  :  death  .

            happiness  is  worth  more  than  riches  ,  the  kims  have  unlocked  that  simple  secret  in  their  lifetimes  .  butler  to  a  family  of  nobility  ,  jason  kim  met  mary  hwang  while  working  for  the  huntington  -  keenes  &  got  married  within  months  of  meeting  each  other  .  ‘  when  you  know  ,  you  know  ’  they  said  &  in  a  year  ,  they  had  bomi  .  the  huntington  -  keenes  were  ecstatic  for  the  kims  ,  loving  bomi  as  their  own  –  the  kims  are  family  ,  an  arm  away  from  nobility  .  when  tragedy  strikes  one  month  after  bomi’s  birth  &  the  huntington  -  keene  estate  is  burned  to  the  ground  with  her  parents  inside  ,  bomi  is  taken  in  by  the  duke  &  duchess  .  their  youngest  child  ,  she’s  renamed  aella  &  welcomed  in  by  a  family  of  nobility  .  she’s  not  nobility  by  blood  ,  but  they  raise  her  as  one  ,  her  siblings  (  twins  ,  the  sole  children  of  the  duke  &  duchess  )  treat  her  as  their  own  blood  .  she  gets  a  crown  &  gets  the  opportunity  to  rub  shoulders  with  royal  blood  ;  even  if  some  don’t  look  at  her  as  true  nobility  .  the  huntington  -  keenes  are  always  the  first  to  stand  up  for  her  if  she’s  looked  down  upon  ,  reminding  the  world  that  aella  is  nobility  &  she  is  one  of  them  .  as  the  youngest  ,  nearly  a  decade  younger  than  the  twins  –  edmund  &  augusta  –  aella  is  ,  babied  .  stuffed  in  courtesy  classes  &  given  passes  every  time  she  turns  into  trouble  ,  it  takes  a  while  for  her  to  fully  grasp  that  she  is  royalty  ;  nobility  while  running  in  the  halls  of  buckingham  palace  ,  but  one  day  spent  with  augusta  ,  she  learns  from  lady  augusta  huntington  -  keene  that  women  have  a  crucial  role  in  court  .  while  edmund  will  assume  the  title  of  duke  ,  she  &  augusta  will  marry  up  ,  become  duchesses  in  their  own  right  &  sent  to  fight  dirty  .  secrets  are  worth  more  than  gold  ,  women  are  the  deadliest  soldiers  .  aella  will  always  wonder  what  augusta  uncovered  after  her  marriage  ,  because  while  on  her  way  to  a  gala  with  edmund  ,  the  twins  of  sutherland  were  killed  in  a  horrific  accident  .

            the  funeral  is  closed  casket  ,  aella  stands  with  her  parents  with  a  stone  cold  face  as  the  cameras  take  photos  .  the  twins  are  buried  together  (  ‘  at  least  they  died  together  ’  one  tabloid  says  –  the  reporter  is  fired  in  seconds  )  while  aella  ,  at  fourteen  is  gifted  a  courtesy  title  of  marchioness  .  marquess  edmund  of  stafford  has  died  &  now  she  is  the  sole  heir  .  it’s  a  title  aella  never  wanted  ,  now  thrust  into  the  place  of  her  brother  as  her  parents  teach  her  twenty  -  five  years  worth  of  information  to  catch  her  up  to  his  pace  .  gone  are  the  gentle  souls  who’ve  always  crooned  in  her  ear  &  held  her  in  their  arms  before  nighttime  .  the  horrific  ,  terrifying  deaths  of  their  children  are  enough  to  transform  the  duke  &  duchess  into  empty  shells  of  who  they  used  to  be  .  the  palace  transforms  from  day  to  night  ,  curtains  closed  as  monsters  roam  the  halls  ,  leaving  aella  to  twist  from  sweet  ,  adopted  -  into  -  nobility  lady  of  the  house  ,  into  lethal  marchioness  .  augusta  teaches  her  even  from  beyond  the  grave  ,  diary  locked  words  reminding  aella  of  her  role  as  a  woman  of  nobility  .  play  the  role  ,  laugh  at  the  jokes  ,  gain  their  secrets  ,  report  back  to  the  duke  .  there’s  a  shift  when  aella  turns  sixteen  ,  hardened  by  the  deaths  in  her  life  –  parents  ,  siblings  –  she  gains  a  quick  reputation  that’s  quite  the  opposite  of  her  .  ditzy  ,  bubble  brained  ,  a  bit  lost  ,  in  over  her  head  in  the  world  of  royalty  .  but  underneath  the  duke  ,  they’ve  taken  down  enemies  &  corporations  ,  simply  because  of  a  misunderstanding  or  a  misconstrued  look  .  aella  is  deadly  ,  but  so  is  the  duke  &  at  nineteen  after  a  slight  mishap  in  the  ruining  of  someone’s  career  ,  she  is  threatened  by  him  –  reminded  that  she  is  not  nobility  by  blood  .

            &  aella  is  pissed  off  ,  understandably  .  her  biggest  insecurity  brought  to  light  by  her  own  father  ,  the  one  who  she  always  thought  was  on  her  side  .  aella  finds  solace  in  her  handmaiden  –  the  girl  gifted  to  her  as  a  child  ,  her  only  real  friend  &  she  loses  her  two  days  before  her  graduation  from  oxford  .   she’s  found  dead  from  a  freak  health  accident  &  aella  is  left  with  the  duke  who  refuses  to  see  her  as  she  is  (  though  ,  her  lockscreen  is  still  of  her  &  her  best  friend  )  .  turned  from  a  loving  father  who  used  to  braid  her  hair  &  buy  her  any  jeweled  crown  she  wanted  ,  into  a  ruthless  duke  who  sits  in  an  empty  estate  with  nobody  but  an  un  loyal  butler  by  his  side  .  so  aella  graduates  ,  ignores  the  wilting  duchess  as  she  takes  off  for  the  united  states  .  all  of  her  friends  are  doing  it  ,  noble  women  who’ve  accepted  their  lives  as  just  women  ,  living  as  influencers  &  modern  day  title  holders  before  their  betrothals  are  announced  .  it  takes  barely  months  to  gain  traction  ,  to  hold  a  sizable  following  on  social  media  because  aella  is  likable  –  ditzy  ,  fun  loving  ,  nobility  that’s  infiltrated  england’s  hierarchy  with  her  bubbly  attitude  .  friends  with  celebrities  &  other  socialites  ,  aella  is  at  the  heart  of  every  scandalous  drama  that  comes  out  –  she’s  the  common  factor  that  connects  all  the  tea  ,  but  people  just  don’t  see  it  ,  enamored  by  the  crown  ,  the  title  ,  the  baby  face  .  the  producers  know  ,  a  sixth  sense  for  shit  stirrers  &  dangerous  secret  holders  ,  they  contact  her  &  aella  knows  it  will  piss  off  her  parents  –  nobility  sleazing  it  on  a  reality  show  ?  producers  make  her  promise  drama  ,  so  she  takes  it  ,  unaware  of  how  dangerous  it  is  to  bare  her  soul  to  the  world  .

𝓲𝓲𝓲.     𝕕𝕚𝕤𝕡𝕠𝕤𝕚𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟   .

            exterior  .  marked  by  tragedy  ,  aella  refuses  to  be  seen  by  the  publicness  of  her  life  .  a  public  figure  ,  her  story  is  known  by  many  –  a  sweet  girl  with  dead  parents  ,  adopted  into  nobility  only  to  lose  her  siblings  ,  only  to  lose  her  best  friend  .  she  refuses  to  let  them  see  her  as  sad  &  aella  puts  forth  an  image  of  kindness  .  a  giver  to  charity  ,  a  lover  of  children  ,  a  sweet  girl  who’s  a  little  slow  in  the  head  but  always  means  well  .  aella  is  likable  ,  she’s  sweet  &  people  think  her  authentic  .

a  social  butterfly  ,  one  of  her  most  well  -  known  features  is  that  aella  seems  to  know  everybody  .  they  all  know  her  ,  she’s  mutuals  with  all  the  big  names  as  well  as  the  small  influencers  &  she’s  at  the  center  of  everything  .  the  life  of  the  party  ,  the  marchioness  sheds  her  title  even  if  her  mannerisms  are  still  noble  .  it’s  obvious  she’s  nobility  from  her  speech  ,  her  accent  ,  how  she  sits  at  the  dinner  table  –  but  aella’s  the  fun  one  ,  the  trustworthy  one  because  she’s  never  told  you  someone  else’s  secret  ,  so  why  would  she  tell  anyone  yours  ?

            interior  .  sly  ,  conniving  &  morally  gray  .  her  lips  are  sealed  until  they’re  not  .  good  at  gaining  trust  from  her  charm  &  friendliness  ,  aella  is  quick  to  garner  secrets  as  payment  for  –  anything  .  she  lets  go  of  them  very  rarely  ,  holding  them  close  to  her  in  case  anything  just  happens  to  go  wrong  &  she  needs  ammunition  –  but  behind  the  ditz  &  the  kindness  &  the  likability  is  who  aella  really  is  .  incredibly  angry  ,  so  fucking  hurt  ,  stuck  in  the  process  of  grief  .  she’s  incredibly  smart  ,  extraordinarily  observant  &  a  master  of  manipulation  ,  but  very  few  people  know  the  real  aella  .

she  holds  anger  in  her  palm  like  seawater  &  she’s  an  invincible  liar  .  always  caught  in  some  sort  of  drama  nowadays  ,  though  the  spotlight’s  never  quite  on  her  (  in  other  words  ,  she’s  not  cancelled  yet  –  in  fact  ,  they  praise  aella  for  being  “scandal  free”  )  .  for  example  ,  she’s  the  friend  who  was  told  by  another  friend  to  stop  seeing  the  first  friend  –  or  ,  she’s  the  girl  who  saw  her  friend’s  boyfriend’s  hand  on  someone  else’s  ass  .  aella  is  connected  ,  a  finger  dipped  into  everybody’s  life  even  if  aella  happens  to  be  one  of  the  loneliest  people  she  knows  .

𝓲𝓿.     𝕔𝕠𝕟𝕟𝕖𝕔𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟𝕤   .

these  are  all  most  wanted !  

            skinny  love  ,  someone  who  knows  aella  as  she  truly  is  –  angry  &  sad  &  just  a  fucking  mess  .  we  can  plot  this  out  &  all  the  knitty  gritty  ,  but  just  some  good  ol’  angst  where  their  hearts  are  together  but  they’re  physically  not  &  there’s  a  lot  of  pining  &  hurt  uwu  .  think  carla  &  samu  from  elite  ,  percabeth  in  tlo  ,  u  know  :  spicy  angst  .

           rich  kid  trio  (  0  /  2  )  ,  the  one  percent  of  the  one  percent  ,  they  knew  each  other  before  this  simply  because  of  wealth  .  where  aella’s  nobility  ,  these  muses  either  also  are  ,  or  they’re  simply  super  fuckin’  rich  enough  to  interact  with  nobility  &  they’ve  been  friends  for  ever  –  they’ve  had  their  ups  &  downs  &  they  argue  &  fight  but  they  always  end  up  having  each  other’s  backs  .

          drama  /  scandal  partners  ,  aka  the  ones  that  have  been  involved  in  drama  before  –  probably  because  of  her  –  but  they’ve  made  it  out  with  her  still  on  their  side  &  they  laugh  at  it  now  like  “  haha  remember  when  that  drama  channel  on  youtube  cancelled  you  ?  haha  bitch  !  ”

           current  s  /  o  &  exes  ,  the  one  that  aella’s  currently  dating  –  probably  to  make  her  parents  mad  ,  probably  to  up  views  &  gain  followers  ,  or  maybe  it’s  real  –  &  the  exes  that  she’s  had  rumored  flings  w  (  confirmed  or  not  hehe  )  .  just  give  me  all  the  angst  please  so  we  can  hurt  together  &  hurt  each  other  !  love  this  for  us  !

           everything  else  ,  another  londoner  where  they  hang  out  &  her  accent  just  unleashes  ,  party  buddies  who  get  fucked  up  together  ,  confidant  who  she  goes  to  the  beach  w  &  cries  with  ,  hangover  buds  who  just  lay  in  bed  together  all  day  ,  will  they  -  wont  they  where  they  tease  viewers  &  fans  ,  ex  friends  ,  current  friends  ,  anything  &  everything  !

𝓿.     𝕔𝕠𝕟𝕔𝕝𝕦𝕤𝕚𝕠𝕟   .

i’d  love  to  get  all  these  plots  filled  up  ,  or  any  ones  that  you  might  have  bc  ,  lmk  !   but  if  you’ve  read  this  whole  thing  jesus  ,  you’re  amazing  &  i  love  u  sm  .  please  like  this  &  i’ll  come  to  u  or  lmk  if  u  prefer  disc  & we  can  go  there  !

[fanficsrusz]

My Obligation Part Two- Keanu Reeves Mini Series

A/n: part two of the request by @ringa-starr and i love this. The drama is too much 😂😂 just like last time, it is a personalised fic so feel free to read it as a general story or just replace the name with your own. 😊

_________

The next morning came and y/n was still sat up in bed, her back was pressed to the wall. She couldn’t sleep, how could she? She knew what she saw, she knew that someone was in the house, she couldn't rest and so she waited. She didn't know what she was waiting for actually. Maybe a small noise? the sound of someone walking around? Someone to peer around the corner of the bedroom door? But nothing came. 

It had been hours since the police left and they reassured her numerous times saying they had found no evidence of anyone ever being there, but Deidra couldn't budge the feeling that they were wrong. 

Once Keanu had climbed back into bed after the ordeal, he fell right back to sleep the second his head hit the pillow. Deidra envied him for his ability to sleep anywhere at anytime.

She looked at the clock that read 5:55am and sighed, relaxing a little bit. 'maybe i'm just so stressed about the pregnancy, im imagining things' she thought to herself and smiled as she came up with the logical explanation. 

She laid down the best she could without having the baby kick in protest and closed her eyes, Mr Sandman was kind to her in the early hours of that morning, allowing her to fall into a deep sleep. The sleep was so deep that she had failed to notice the deafening noise of Keanu's alarm that sounded half hour later, signalling that it was time for him to get up and go to work. 

When keanu awoke, he was greeted by the soft snores of Deidra who laid next to him. It was unusual for him to be awake before her since the baby had gotten into a routine of kicking at about 5am and she would just get up then unable to deal with it, choosing to go about getting ready for the day rather than sleeping.

Keanu smiled to himself and leaned down to place a small kiss on her forehead, watching as she smiled and moved closer to him. He hated that he had to leave her especially after what happened last night. He shook the image of Deidra looking so scared out of his head and moved to kiss her stomach. "please look after your mummy today" he whispered to the bump before slowly sliding out of bed and making his way to the bathroom. 

______

Deidra stretched her arms out, yawning as she did. She shot up when she didn't feel keanu next to her. She was spread out in the middle of the queen sized bed, wrapped in soft white blankets but there was no Keanu. She pouted as she looked at the clock once again. 11:24 am. It was the longest sleep she had had in a while but she was sad that she had missed the chance to give keanu a goodbye kiss but she would survive. 

She sat up and brushed her hair up into a loose ponytail as she looked at her growing stomach. "come on baba, let's get you something to eat" she climbed out of the bed and made her way to the kitchen.

She began to pour herself a cup of coffee into her favourite mug needing as much energy as she could get. Walking over to the fridge to get the milk, she stopped when she noticed a small note stuck onto the door. She smiled instantly recognising the hand writing. 

She picked it up and read the words carefully. 

"my beautiful Deidra, please relax today. I don't want you to stress yourself and the baby out. I'll be back at 7pm and I called your sister to come and keep you company at about 3. All my love ~ Keanu" 

Deidra smiled at the small note, somehow he still made her heart skip a beat. She placed the note back onto the fridge and continued on with making her coffee. 

She moved to the pantry and reached for the cereal, but her hand drew back slowly as she noticed it wasn't in its usual place. She stepped back and looked at the shelves in front of her. It was weird, everything was in the wrong place. She knew to someone else it would have looked fine but it was odd because she kept everything in certain places. She decided to just shrug it off. "nope. I'm just going insane. I don't care" she calmed herself down, not wanting to harm the baby by stressing about something so minuscule as the cereal being in the wrong place. 

She grabbed the box she needed and poured it into the bowl before making her way to the dinner table. 

Sitting down she pulled out her phone and went through social media. For the most part, she just looked at cats and smiled at their cuteness. She then moved on to look at baby pictures and her heart swelled as the baby fever hit her hard. She wanted the baby now more than ever before. 

She was about to put her phone down and go get dressed but then her phone vibrated, letting her know that she had received a new text. She smiled thinking it was keanu or her mum and opened it without hesitation.

Her smile faulted as a picture appeared on the screen.

 She looked at the id and it was an unknown number. The picture was of a house and it seemed familiar and after several seconds of staring at the picture, it hit her like a brick wall.

 It was a picture of the outside of her house. She stood up suddenly as her heartbeat quickened, worry setting in. 

How could anyone have gotten that picture? The two lived in a secluded area with a gate around the house. 

Deidra thought for a few seconds about what to do before she began to call the police.

She was about to press the call button when another vibration stopped her from doing so. 

"DO NOT CALL THE POLICE. We don't want to scare the baby now do we? " she read the text and had to grip onto the counter to hold herself up. Someone was watching her every move but from where. She turned to look around and saw nothing. She stopped as another text came in. she looked at a second picture that accompanied the text. 

This time the picture was of the nursery. They were in the house, the house that Deidra was currently in all alone. How could anyone have gotten in? How did the police not find them? Where were they? Thousands of questions rushed through her mind. 

She panicked and dropped the phone, a loud smash indicating she had smashed the screen. She reached down to pick it up when another message came through. 

There was no picture, no text, instead a video. She held the phone with shaky hands and pressed play. 

The video was distorted due to the cracks that were now on the screen but she could still make out exactly what was going on in the video:

A hand pushed open the bedroom door of Deidra and keanu shared room and walked over to the bed. A sleeping keanu came into view and glanced over his face. Heavy breathing came from behind the camera as the video moved to the other side of the bed. Deidra's sleeping body came into shot and wondered down her body, stopping when her stomach came into view. A gloved hand stroked over stomach and the video ended.

Deidra felt sick, she was right. She saw someone in the house and they were in her bedroom AFTER the police did a full search of the house. She didn't know what to do. Tears fell down her face and she began to dial keanus number. 

Deidra ran towards the bathroom, hoping she could lock herself in and wait for keanu to come and save the day. The ringing echoed through her ears and it felt like the ringing was going on forever.

~

Keanu walked down the street to his car, the meetings he was supposed to do had finished early and he was on his way home. He wanted to surprise Deidra and if on cue his phone rang. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, her name displayed across the screen along with a picture of the two cuddling. He answered the call and brought it to his ear. "hey babe i was just thinking about-" he was cut off by the heavy pants of his wife. He stopped in his tracks not caring about the annoyed grunts of other pedestrians. "Deidra what's wrong? Are you ok? Is the baby ok?"  he panicked as he ran to the car fearing the worst. "I was right. Someone was in the house. They still are. They sent me pictures of the nursery and a video of us sleeping in bed" she said through tears. Keanu pulled out of his parking space and sped down the streets towards his house. "ok listen. I want you to go-" keanu was cut off as the screams of Deidra echoed through the phone, causing his heart to drop to his stomach. His wife and unborn child were being harmed and he could do nothing "DEIDRA" he yelled as he sped up, swerving through cars. He could still hear the faint screams of his wife through the phone. Knowing he couldn't do much he hung up and called the police, hoping that they could get their faster than he could.

~

"ok listen. I want you to go-" Deidra listen to what keanu was telling her but was cut off when someone slapped the phone from her hand. She turned and saw a masked figure stood in front of her. She screamed and tried to run but the person grabbed onto her arm, pulling her back." please no don't do this" she cried pleading for her life. Despite the fact that whoever this was wore a mask, she could see the sarcastic frown on their face just by looking at their eyes. They pretended to cry, mocking the actions of Deidra. She could hear keanu screaming for her through the discarded phone on the floor. She closed her eyes tight, hoping that the nightmare would be other if she did so but it wasn't. Once she opened her eyes, the person sprayed an unknown substance in her face, causing her to cough.

  Darkness soon clouded her vision and she felt her legs go numb as she lost all control over her body, falling into the arms of the unknown assailant. 

______

Keanu leaped from the car, barely putting it in park before he rushed into the house.

 The police were already there as he pushed his way through the door. "DEIDRA" he yelled drawing the attention of a man in a suit who began to walk over to him. "Mr reeves. I'm detective Carter, I'm sorry to inform you of this but your wife is not here. Who ever was here has taken her. We are doing everything we can to find her" the man placed a sympathetic hand onto his shoulder and keanu shook his head as the man offered him his condolences. "no you're wrong" keanu said, tears pooling in his eyes. "I'm afraid it's true. All we know is whoever took her left a note. Does this mean anything to you?" the detective handed the note and keanu took it, his hands shaking. 

The note was simple and it sent a chill down his spine. "It is my Obligation to make you happy. It should have been me".

He nodded his head and the detective pulled out a notepad and pen. "what does the note mean Mr Reeves?" keanu sighed and turned away. "it's from a stalker. An obsessive fan if you like. I took out a restraining order against her but i guess it's done nothing" he held his head in his hands as he sat down and the detective approached once again. "thank you Mr. Reeves. I will look into this personally. ''

 The detective left, leaving him in the house. His heart broke at the thought that he could lose Deidra and he cried not knowing that fate of his beloved wife and child.

Tbc

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