#has Laurence come back but wrong somehow

[synthwayve]

THIS. IS. SO. COOL?! I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS I LOVE THIS Karnaca you’ve outdone yourself yet again! Amazing! Showstopping! Incredible!

After thinking about this comic again I decided I might as well have fun with a whole Frankenstein AU about the most divorced men in Yharnam.

The core idea is that Vicar Laurence died before fully turning into a beast and a funeral was held. Micolash thereafter robbed his grave and attempted to resurrect him. It worked, but he might regret it severely.

[bruh--wtf]

The Message

Thomas x Reader

The Death Cure - I am writing for all three movies I suggest reading the first two parts of the series first. I know, it's long, but I'm having fun writing these.

Summary: The gladers need to get Minho back. And they're going through with Thomas's plan to take down WCKD. Things aren't at all simple.

Part 20

Main Masterlist

Previous Next

Maze Runner Masterlist

You all tried your best to blend into the shadows. But that's hard when security is patrolling every street and half the walls are made of glass.

"They definitely upped security. I'm guessing you shanks have something to do with that," Gally suggests.

You all started running towards a shorter wall and Gally and Thomas help Newt hop it first. Then you. You grabbed Newt's hand, him helping you up. He wavered a little bit, and you looked down at his arm.

"You sure you're-"

"Yes! I'm fine!" He says. You look at him surprised by how angry he sounded. You look down to see Thomas hopping up without Gally's help. Then Gally climbs up.

Walking on the outskirts of the wall, you all eventually made it to the top of a building.

"There it is," Gally says. "If WCKD's got Minho, that's where they're keeping him." You look over at the bright blue building.

Gally pulls out something and mounts it on the pole. "Laurence has been trying to find a way in for years. Place is crawling with soldiers. Surveillance everywhere. Scanners on every floor."

You all lean on the bars, looking over at the building. Your head was going to be killing you by the time you got back to the others. But now, it wasn't that bad.

"Sounds like a fortress," you say. "I thought you said you had a way in, Gally."

"I might." You turn to look at him and so does Thomas.

"You might? The hell do you mean might?" Gally steps back.

"Take a look," Gally says. Thomas walks over and looks through the telescope. He lets out a breath. "I said I had a way in. I didn't say you were gonna like it."

Back with the others, Thomas shakes his head. "No, there's gotta be another way in."

"Like what? You've seen the building. She is our only way in," Gally says. You were standing next to Newt, thinking.

"You really think she's gonna want to help us?"

"I don't plan on asking her permission," Gally says.

"Am I missing something here? This is the same girl who betrayed us, correct?" Brenda asks, looking at you. You nod, and let out a breath.

"Yup, the one and only," you say, leaning your elbows on the table. She looks at Thomas.

"What's goin on?" Brenda asks. Thomas doesn't say anything.

"What, are you afraid your little girlfriend's gonna get hurt?" Newt asks. You look at him. He looked annoyed. "Hmm? This has never been just about rescuing Minho, has it?"

Thomas turns to Newt. "Newt, what are you talking about?"

"Teresa! She's the only reason Minho is even missing in the first place, and now we finally have the chance to get him back and what? You don't want to because of her?" Newt started getting in Thomas's face, pushing him back towards the wall. "Because deep down inside you still care about her, admit it."

"Newt, I don't-" Newt cuts him off, shoving him up against the wall.

"Don't lie to me! Dont. Lie. To me." Then he steps back. He looked at Thomas like he was surprised by what he had just done. You stared at Newt. No matter what, in the galde and out here, Newt was always the mediator. Alby and you could both let your emotions get the best of you sometimes, and he was the clear head. You'd never seen Newt that mad at someone else before. Especially a glader. Newt looks back at all of you.

"I'm sorry." He walks off. After a minute, you follow him. You go and sit on the ledge next to him.

"Are you okay? Tell me the truth, Newt," you say, looking at him. He looks over at you and lets out a breath. He glances behind you and you see Thomas coming over. He looks back at Thomas.

"Sorry about that. Back there." You continued to look at Newt. "Guess I can't hide this anymore." He rolls up his sleeve revealing a crank scratch. Your mouth falls open and you look up at him.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Thomas asks.

"Didn't think it would make any difference. All I know is that WCKD must have put me in that maze for a reason. Maybe it was just so they could tell the difference between immunes like you and people like me," Newt says to Thomas.

You lick your lips. "We can still fix it, Newt," you say. He shakes his head.

"Did I ever tell you about when I broke my leg?" He asks Thomas. "I know you know it happened, but you don't know how," he says to you. "It was way back in the maze. I'd just come up from the box. Like all the others. Didn't know where I was, didn't know who I was, you know. You know even with all my memories gone I could still feel that something was missing. You know?" You watch him and nod slightly. "I felt empty. I just... I couldn't hack that. Couldn't take it. So one morning I got up early. Snuck out into the maze. I went and I found the tallest wall I could. And I climbed up there and... I jumped off it."

You gape at Newt. You never knew that. "Of course I got completely tangled up in the ivy. Snapped my leg in three different places. Like a proper shank. Landed hard on the floor. I thought that was it." He pauses. "Then Minho found me. Somehow. Carried me back to the glade. Never told anyone what really happened. He saved me, gave me a second chance." You watch as Newt looks at Thomas. "Now he needs us, so if there is even the slightest chance that we can save him? We can get him out of there, then we have to take that. No matter what the cost."

"Okay, I hear you," Thomas says. Newt nods and looks back down at his arm. You kept looking at him, and after a moment you leaned on him, putting your head on his shoulder as you all looked up at the wall.

That night you all came up with a plan. And soon it was happening.

You watched from a distance as Thomas tricked Teresa into following him. "Thomas!" She calls. Just then he rounds the corner, and that's where you and Galy were. You all run quickly to your hiding places. You didn't know why you were there. You didn't need to be. And you kind of hated it. But Thomas asked you to. God, what is wrong with you? Where Teresa comes and looks around, Thomas comes out of his.

"Thomas."

"Hey, Teresa."

"You shouldn't be here. If Janson finds out you're here-"

"I'm not here to stay. It's just, uh, had to see you," he says, walking up to her. "I have to ask you something. Do you regret it? What you did to us?"

"Sometimes," she says. "But I did what I thought was right. I'd do it again." Thomas nods slightly.

"Got it," he says. He nods at Gally who comes out behind her and grabs her. You watch him drag her and Thomas goes over to you. He looked sad, but he nodded towards Gally. "Come on," he says. You nod following them as you all made it back.

Gally unhoods her and she stares at him. She looks at Thomas, who was sitting a little further away from her. You and Newt were sitting down next to him. Frypan standing behind you.

"Gally?" She sounded surprised. You didn't blame her.

"Here's how this is going to go. We're gonna ask you some questions, and you're gonna tell us exactly what we need to know. Start off simple," Gally says and grabs a chair. "Where's Minho?" She looks at Thomas.

"You guys don't seriously think that-" Gally slams the chair down, sitting on it backwards, so he was still facing her.

"Don't look at him. Why are you looking at him? Look at me," Gally says. "He's not gonna help you." Thomas looks up and over at her. You turned to look at Gally and Teresa again. "Now we know that you have him in the building. Where?" She pauses for a second before looking at Gally again.

"He's with the others in holding. Sub level three."

"How many others?" Newt asks. Teresa hesitates, avoiding looking at Newt.

"Twenty eight," she says shakily. Gally looks back at Brenda who nods.

"I can make that work." She was playing cards with Jorge.

"No, no you guys don't understand. The whole level's restricted. You can't get in without a thumbprint ID." You nod along with her words, drawing her attention back over to you and Thomas.

"That's why you're coming with us," you say when she's done.

"Well, I don't know. We don't necessarily need her. Right?" He stands up, walking to the table. "Not all of her." He grabs a knife. "We just need her finger."

"Gally, back off," Thomas says.

"What are you squeamish? I guarantee you she's done a lot worse to Minho," he says.

"I said, back off," Thomas says, grabbing the knife.

"Won't make a difference. Do whatever you want to me. You still won't get through the front door. The sensors will pick you up as soon-"

"We know. We're tagged. Property of WCKD," Thomas says and walks over to her. He crouches down next to her. "You're gonna help us with that too."

You sat there with Teresa behind you. The guys wanted to go first. Make sure she didn't kill them before letting you go. Gally could probably care less, but the others insisted. You watched looked over at Thomas and the others.

"Try to relax." You scoff slightly.

"You're behind me with a knife. I'll try my best," you say sarcastically. She lets out a breath, and presses the knife to your neck. You close your eyes, taking a sharp breath.

"I was hoping I'd see you again, you know," she says quietly. You chuckle slightly.

"Oh yeah? Can't say the same," you say.

"I was hoping because I wanted to tell you..." she pauses, taking the knife away and starting to try and clean it a little bit. "Jack is doing great." You quickly turn your head to face her. You wince, and hold a hand up to your neck.

"Shit." You stand up, looking at her. She sighs, sitting there.

"He's eleven now. We've been working with him. He's not being tested on. He's shaping up to be a very smart boy," she says. You continued to stare at her.

"Working with him?" Your little brother... was working with WCKD. Well, shit. Thomas comes over.

"What's going on?"

"I thought you'd be happy to hear that he's okay," Teresa says. You roll your eyes.

"Yeah, I'm enthused," you say, sarcasm still in your voice. You turn your back on her, walking away. Thomas was up after you anyways. You go over and sit next to Gally.

"What was that about?" Frypan asks. You crossed your arms, looking down. You didn't answer him. You were thinking. The little boy from your dreams... the boy who once was the reason you were alive... he was being trained by the people trying to kill you.

Not long after, Newt hands you guys clothes. You take yours, going to go change. When you get back, you see Thomas and Teresa standing and Gally walking up to them.

"Everything okay over here?" He asks. Thomas nods.

"Yeah, we're done," Thomas says and turns away. You were close enough that you saw Teresa's hand move towards the tray that had her knives on it. You grab her wrist.

"Careful there. Wouldn't want you to get hurt," you say. She looks at you. You nod at Gally. The others go to change and you were stuck with Teresa.

"Jack talks about you," she says. You don't look at her but she knew you were listening. "He always asks when he can see you. How you are. If you'll be back soon. He keeps saying that you promised that you'd-" you stand up, kicking her legs out from underneath her.

"Shut the hell up," you say. She managed to not hit her head and land pretty much okay. She looked unscathed. That was your goal. Can't have her looking damaged. She stares up at you and glances behind you. You turn and see the guys coming back.

"What the hell was that?" Gally asks. You roll your eyes.

"Doesn't matter. Lets just do this, yeah?" You say, walking past them. Not even glancing back at Teresa.

[jimmymcgools]

If you're still up for the writing ask meme: the part in chapt 13 where Kim decides to take the phone call in *another* direction (like, WHY does she decide to do that?)

(thank you for letting me ignore this for a full week as i worked on chapter 4 of slip and fall season instead ♥️)

but yes i will do this forever!!! if anyone else has scenes they’d still like to hear my thoughts on 🙏hmu

fic commentary meme and my answers 

the boring doylist answer to your question is: because considering the 1x03 call i figured if i was gonna write mailroom mcwexler i’d be letting myself & everyone else down if i didn’t include a phone sex scene!

and “hold tight to the ropes” really hooked me on the idea of jimmy calling from cicero. so huge credit to that wonderful fic, i mention it in the chapter notes because i stole (and hopefully remixed?) so much of that set up. 

A click. “Hello?” “Hey,” Jimmy says. “Happy Thanksgiving.”  this made me think of mulder and scully when i wrote it and i thought of them reading it over again now. 

“A Thanksgiving classic,” Kim says dryly. “No Way Out.” Jimmy grins. “Nice. Costner at his best.” one of those movie picks where hopefully kim’s joke works just based on the title. jimmy’s dialogue could read ironic, but i do think this is one of costner’s best roles. 

Jimmy chuckles. “We played Monopoly.” mcgill bros monopoly! writing this chapter i learned that you’re supposed to auction off properties if you don’t choose to buy them when you land on them, apparently. #research  💀that’s right i researched monopoly “10 most common arguments people have over a game of Monopoly according to Hasbro” guess i should’ve credited more in my chapter notes huh

A scrap of paper reading That Hamilton Woman rests beneath the plastic but above the original cover for The Boys from Brazil. ruth mcgill playing favourites with laurence olivier movies

“Yeah,” Kim says. “Yeah, sometimes it would snow.” i think i looked this up as well and it only snows like one in 20 thanksgivings but, uh. fanfic.  

Flat white fields dotted with fence posts, like ellipses on a page, drifting into the distance i really like using “this thing looks like writing on a page” type metaphors for kim, but also the idea of endless ellipses seemed pretty perfect for red cloud. 

A little blue dot in the endless fields of white. He exhales. “Kim?” a strange thought process for jimmy here, but he gets to white sands from it somehow. it helps that kim had made the comparison herself, too, while they were at white sands. that it reminded her of winters back home. 

“Can we go back to White Sands?” he asks. i think/hope you can tell from the convo, but jimmy’s not asking for phone sex, he’s more asking for a return to that openness/vulnerability/intimacy. they’ve had a nice conversation so far, but it’s kind of the conversation two friends might have -- “yeah, family. we fought over monopoly. how are you?” -- and he wants more. 

A beat. “What, tonight? That might be pretty tricky.” kimberly #deflection wexler

“But scared of what I might do next. Scared to get too close, maybe.” i wanted there to be this real wariness in the family around jimmy at this point in his life. i didn’t have much to work with for the acb ruth relationship, other than knowing she had nobody by her deathbed but chuck and jimmy, and that she was still up in cicero/berwyn.  i liked the idea that, as much as ruth loves jimmy, in 1992 she’s starting to close herself off from him in that way mothers can do -- she pretends everything is good, she has innocent conversations about movies, she tells him she loves him. to protect/spare him? to protect the purity of the relationship so that she has an outlet where she can pretend nothing’s wrong for a while? i’m not sure. i don’t think it’s good for them. 

It’s like he can hear the connection between them, the long strands of copper wire humming over the country. little reference to chapter 5 when they’re watching born yesterday: “But this is as precious and as fragile to him as crystal, as a string wound to its snapping point, as small human breaths down copper wire.”

“Is there anything you can do?” Kim asks finally. kim the fixer 

staring up at the vine-patterned cornice. oh great jimmy’s looking at a ceiling again 

He counts the leaves, one-two-three, but his brain keeps racing okay whew, at least i only mentioned this one because i brought it up in the white sands chapter -- “His childhood bedroom back in Cicero used to have one, too, carved with vines or flowers or something” -- because he’s staring at the cornice in the motel room while he’s wondering what else he can do with his life. 

he still feels half a step behind something, like there’s something just around the next bend, like the top of a mountain that keeps vanishing into the distance,  two road trip references for the price of one in this paragraph -- them driving up the sandias out of abq, here

And then, as if she can feel the tension and wants to break it, Kim says, “You know, we could do more than just talk.” ayyy we made it, moment of truth!! so why does kim do it, in the fun, watsonian way? 

i think it’s largely what you’ve brought up before -- like she does in breathe, and elsewhere in acb -- i think it’s kim turning to sex when the emotions get too muddy. and you put it better than me! “Kim seems to go physical instead of talking about things”. and when they’re states apart on a phone call? close enough! 

it’s also fixer kim still, right? she can tell that she hasn’t really helped at all with her responses, that jimmy’s still hurting. so here’s take 2. and maybe it’s kim following her own advice she’s just given to jimmy: “is there anything you can do?” 

and there’s that “kim and jimmy giving the other person what they think they need” thing that we’ve all talked about before. and i can’t remember the origin of it now! some interview? 

also she’s definitely hungry for it right now, too. that, like, addictive connection after she’s walled herself off for so long. and after she’s had that “i should call jimmy--oh shit i can’t. huh. hm. this is fine.” moment earlier in the day, too. 

“I’m kidding,” Kim says quietly. “Don’t leave me hanging.” and yeah, with the jimmy pov im always worried about trying to show how much kim wants jimmy, too. i hoped to give the sense that she needed the connection in this scene, too. 

“I mean, I haven’t checked the window, so Gene Hackman might be out there with an audio dish, but—yeah.”  always time for a movie reference. a bit of an ironic one -- he’s referencing the conversation, and i’m pretty sure the chuck stuff in 3x10 is inspired by the scene at the end of that movie when hackman tears up his apartment hopelessly looking for a bug.  (also jeepers, second gene hackman movie of the phone call, he’s also in no way out)

“I miss touching you.” It’s the first time he’s really spoken out loud about that physical intimacy, and something unwinds in his stomach, something that’s been coiled there a long time. oh man, spoilers for safs chapter 4 -- but interesting to reread this part of the conversation in particular when i’ve just written a chapter trying to show a really comfortable physicality between them. aw man. 

He breathes out, tipping his head back against the cold door, eyes tracing over the bare basement ceiling. there he goes there he goes again.mp3

And Kim exhales, and it sounds heavier than it did earlier. “You know, I had bruises there after last time.” starting from jimmy’s “i miss touching you” and then this from kim, i wanted to play with this shift in excitement/energy in the phone sex that comes when they both start actually opening up about the specific emotions/fallout from white sands that’s otherwise mostly gone unsaid. it drifts into more of a pure fantasy scenario after this but i always liked that honesty being a catalyst  kim: “I thought you might notice somehow.” :( 

and then it also seemed very them that they’d end up going with this HHM fantasy with discovery stakes and everything 😂they love their hypotheticals. and also i kinda got to weave in mailroom sex to the fic, almost, sneakily! 

“Thank you yourself,” she says you’re welcome seriously

i hope that wasn’t just me repeating everything we’ve already talked about back at you! 😂

[lockdownfest]

LOCKDOWN FEST MASTERPOST WEEK #2 EXTENSION

*

BLOOD AND CHOCOLATE (2007)

Stuck in the Middle with You by InsanelyWriteful (M) 6k, WIP. With the zombie pandemic in full swing, Nigel flings himself into the fray on the hunt for groceries. Don't even get him started on trying to find that most-sought-after, priceless item of all items: toilet paper. As far as the world's concerned, that doesn't exist anymore. With the world going to hell, Nigel finds himself trapped with a strange man named Aiden Galvin. But, hey, there are worse fates than being stuck with a hot piece of tail, right?

BOKU NO HERO ACADEMIA

Two Weeks In Quarantine by JedIzuku (T) 48k WIP, Midoriya Izuku/Todoroki Shouto. A virus threatens all of Japan. Everyone needs to self-quarantine for two weeks to help prevent the spread. Izuku Midoriya learns that his friend, Shoto Todoroki, would be quarantined alone because of his father’s work. And Izuku won’t stand for that.A love story.

CHARLIE COUNTRYMAN

Stuck in the Middle with You by InsanelyWriteful (M) 6k, WIP. With the zombie pandemic in full swing, Nigel flings himself into the fray on the hunt for groceries. Don't even get him started on trying to find that most-sought-after, priceless item of all items: toilet paper. As far as the world's concerned, that doesn't exist anymore. With the world going to hell, Nigel finds himself trapped with a strange man named Aiden Galvin. But, hey, there are worse fates than being stuck with a hot piece of tail, right?

FALL OUT BOY

Gradually and Then Suddenly by earlgreytea68 (G) 3.3k, Patrick Stump/Pete Wentz. Life in quarantine: fourth-grade science, couch concerts, blanket forts.

HANNIBAL

Point of View by house_of_lantis (M) 3.8k, Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter.  Summary: Franklyn Froideveaux gets an unexpected peek into Dr. Hannibal Lecter’s personal life during their self-isolation. 

HARRY POTTER

Locked Inside Your Temper Trap by VeelaWings (E) 4.3k, Draco Malfoy/Neville Longbottom. This was a minor problem. Not the being trapped in a humid greenhouse with a sweaty, gorgeous Draco, mind you. No, it was being trapped with a sweaty, pissed off Draco who would inevitably blame Neville.Plus the obstacle of not having the privacy to enjoy a fast and dirty wank with all this evening’s material.

Top Priority by JayGwen23 (T). 8k, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter. England is trying to stop the spread of an aggressive, new virus that is affecting both wizards and muggles. Everyone is being told to self isolate. House mates, Harry and Draco are stuck at home trying to brave it through the madness, while trying not no go mad themselves.Written for Lock Down Fest.

Bored Harry by foxymoley (G) FANART. Harry's been stuck in his room at Privet Drive and is bored out of his mind!He uses his wand in a mug as a lamp as Hedwig stretches as much as she can in her cage.

Harry Potter and the Secret in the Library by EvAEleanor, tasteofshapes (E) 11.6k, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter. Draco stands outside the library for a moment, before he turns the handle and pushes the heavy double doors open. What he expects to find is a silent library cloaked in darkness. What he gets instead is a fire crackling merrily away in the grate, the library lit only by firelight, and Potter lounging on the fur rug in front of the fireplace, clad only in a terry-cloth bathrobe, a glass of wine in one hand.“What the… Potter—!��� Draco yelps, and Potter looks up from the book open in front of him and raises an eyebrow at Draco.

The Magic of Muggle Films by sunshinedraco (E) 5.3k. Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter. Harry is happy to get home from an Auror mission in Northern Ireland, but may have been exposed to a contagious disease. Draco Malfoy, who comes with a team of Healers to inspect Harry and also happens to be the subject of Harry's long-term awkward crush, is also accidentally exposed. The two are quarantined together. You know what happens.

Sweetheart by WolfyWordWeaver (T) 3k, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter. Remus Lupin comes home after a long day working at the hospital and quickly realizes that something is wrong with Sirius. Avoiding COVID-19 doesn't mean avoiding all hurts and Sirius has to deal with a major hurdle. While Remus doesn't have all the answers he does know how to do his best.

Stuck Senses by TheUltimateUndesirable (E) 12k, Neville Longbottom/Luna Lovegood. In the mist of the 2020 pandemic the wizarding world is left with a dire and unknown future as Covid-19 makes it's way into Europe. Hogwarts ends up on quarantined leaving students, professors and a Luna stuck at the school. How long will anything last and what will anything become? No one knows.

Augmented Agony by Drarrelie (T) 365, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter. Of all days... Draco's luck was apparently just as abysmal as ever. This work is part of a series of connected weekly drabbles written during 2020. It takes place in 2001, before the rest of the currently published drabbles in this series, while the two of them are still in Auror training.

If It Takes All Night by tackytiger (M) 11k, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter. It's not the first time Harry's been the victim of a botched curse (that's one of the reasons he doesn't like crowds), but he feels bad that Malfoy had to get caught up in it too. So they're bonded. That's ok, they just have to make sure to be touching at all time. No problem. Because Malfoy smells so nice, and has such lovely shiny hair, and his skin is so very warm.But this isn't going to be a problem for their friendship at all.Is it, Harry?

I'll Tell You Mine (If You Tell Me Yours) by MarchnoGirl (E) 4.2k, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter. When a cauldron of Veritaserum explodes all over Harry and Malfoy, Harry has the chance to finally discover Malfoy’s secrets. And maybe something about himself too.

Correspondence in the Time of Quarantine by Lediona, Zigster (T) 1.5k, WIP, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter. After informing Scorpius of my plan to bring him home, he wrote back immediately to ask if he might bring a friend with him to isolate at the Manor. When I inquired about the identity of this friend, imagine my surprise to discover that it was none other than your son, Albus Potter.

Garden War by Cibee (Cibeeeee) (T) 5k, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter. Harry and Draco are quarantined in their houses, a lake across from one another. What better ways to spend this time than to annoy each other with letters and attempts to prove that their garden is better ?

LITTLE WOMEN (2019)

Chocolate Kisses by lady_needless_litany (T) 3k, WIP, Theodore Laurence/Josephine March. If Jo had to be shut in her house for the foreseeable future, at least she had Laurie to keep her company.

MARVEL CINEMATIC UNIVERSE

Strange Attractors by dance4thedead (T) 882. There's an asshole in Matt's apartment. An unworthy love letter to the fic "The Goldilocks Principle". Set in late March 2020, during the COVID-19 crisis.

I walk this lonely road by xxx_cat_xxx (T) 1.6k, Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov. Part 3 of Red in my Ledger.

MERCY STREET

We run a very tight ship by middlemarch, sagiow (t) 3k, WIP. Jedediah "Jed" Foster/Mary Phinney. "There must have been a moment, at the beginning, where we could have said -- no. But somehow we missed it.” Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead.Every single passenger on the ship would have that thought. At least once. Sometimes, on an endless loop, like the announcement about pina coladas on Deck 4. It turned out, the only way out was through. With card tricks.

OCEAN’S 8

You Shall Go To The Ball by ShadowHaloedAngel (T) 1.4k, Daphne Kluger/Rose Weil. The lockdown means the parties are all cancelled, but Rose and Daphne decide to have a little ball at home instead. After all, when else can you have a costume party for the hell of it? And with your own fairy godmother on hand, your gown is always going to make you feel like a princess.

OVERWATCH (video game)

nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody (ooh) nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody no— by faorism (M) 9k, Jesse McCree/Hanzo Shimada and other ships. Like most things now, it's more a matter of not if, but when. (Or: five times Jesse kept himself together and one time he really, really didn't.)

PITCH PERFECT

Icy Hot by Notsoawesomenerd (E), 7k. Chloe Beale/Beca Mitchell. No, this is not a story about the topical pain reliever. This is a story about the interesting things Chloe can do to Beca with ice and ice-related items.

Desperate Measures by aliciameade (M), 6k, Chloe Beale/Beca Mitchell. Chloe and Beca have everything they need to weather the mandated period of social distancing and staying home: food, water, shelter, games, entertainment, and each other's company.The one thing they don't have?Much-needed privacy.

RWBY

The Man in Your Head by goreds (G) 431, Ozpin/Salem (RWBY), Ozma/Salem (RWBY). Salem has a friend in her head. Not that she considers him a friend...

STAR TREK: ALTERNATE ORIGINAL SERIES

fourteen by sciencebluefeelings (T) 2.6k, James T. Kirk/Spock Prime. Two years ago, Spock waited for Jim. Now it's Jim's turn to wait. 

STAR TREK: ORIGINAL SERIES

Seventy Two Hours by LiraelClayr007 (G) 2.4k,  James T. Kirk/Spock Prime. Kirk lowers his voice, makes it almost too low to hear, and this time he is pleading. “Bones. You know why I can’t stay here. You know what this’ll do to me.” He closes his eyes, then says one more time, “Please.” He can’t look when he says it. He already knows the answer.“Sorry, Jim. It’s only three days. If it’s any consolation I don’t think you were actually exposed, but we have to be sure.” He looks at Kirk, then at Spock, then shrugs. He knows what he’s putting Kirk through.Or: Kirk and Spock are accidentally exposed to something on an alien planet and have to spend seventy two hours together in an isolation chamber. Easy, right? Except Kirk is going to go mad, because he's head over heels for Spock.

STAR WARS

grey and sprawling by srawratskcuf (Doreen) (E) 7k WIP, Armitage Hux/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren. Ben and Hux have had a rocky long-distance semi-relationship ever since Hux went away to college. Basically, they call each other once a week and have phone sex, and absolutely do not talk about their feelings.When Ben finally saves up enough to fly across the country to visit Hux, his ten day trip gets extended indefinitely. Sheltering in place together will make or break them.

SUPERNATURAL

some kinda something by quillquiver (E) 2k, Castiel/Dean Winchester. There are only so many places to hide shit when you’re playing with 700 square feet of totally shared living space. This is something Dean has become very aware of in a very short amount of time.

Que Sera, Sera by wigglebox (G) 4.3k, Castiel/Dean Winchester. A few months into his new human life, Cas comes down with a fever and cough. Usually, that wouldn't be a concern, but now there's a contagious, new illness spreading across the country, and the anxiety that comes along with it.

I Don’t Understand These References by CeliPuff, Winchesterlovr0508 (M). 1.5k. Castiel/Dean Winchester, Gabriel/Sam Winchester. Dean says the president extended the quarantine so Sam suggested I make a journal. I suspect it’s a ploy to keep my hands off his brother but being extremely old, I’m entitled to do what I want. And I happen to have eons of experience in multitasking.I prayed to Gabriel to run some interference. I believe this is a foolproof plan.

Apocalypse by Maleyah (Katherine_Kat) (E) 36k WIP, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Gabriel/Sam, Michael/Adam Milligan. Dean moves through Cas’ kitchen with the ease of familiarity, as he sets about re-heating the leftovers. Ironically Cas’ kitchen is better equipped than the one in his apartment. It’s just that he’s been pouring all his money into The Roadhouse. The apartment is a rental anyway.“You have got to be shitting me!”His eyebrows shoot up at the language. Cas doesn’t curse often, but given the fact that the world is slowly descending into madness, he has a good guess what is provoking it. He glances behind him, across the counter that connects the open kitchen to the living room, where Cas is staring at the television. 

THE MAGICIANS

hard rain, honey, and the sweet sun by Allegria23 (E), 7k, Quentin Coldwater/Eliot Waugh. Eliot and Quentin are staying in their apartment. They both have some ideas.

THE WITCHER

Love in the Time of Video Conferencing by Elizabeth (M), 15.6k, Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier. Pestilence is a bitch, and the entire university has had to shift to e-learning overnight. Jaskier is a systems admin being forced to pick up slack for the overwhelmed help desk. Work ended hours ago, so why is he on a support call with the most technologically-incapable history professor he's ever met? And really, what is the deal with this guy?Based on the "OMG they were Zoommates" prompt from the AO3 comment Tumblr.This is, five times Jaskier and Geralt used Zoom for tech support, and one time they used Zoom for... something else. I apologize if this upsets you; it helps me cope with the emotions, so I'm hoping to channel stress into fluff and put it out there so it can possibly help others.

YURI!!! ON ICE

Music from the Heart by Multiple_Universes (G) 6.5k, Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov. A curse falls over the land. It keeps people stuck indoors and will not let them out. The most powerful magician in the land seems unable to break the hold of the curse. But, as they say, love will always find a way.Inspired by videos of people singing from their balconies during the coronavirus quarantine.

[mrslittletall]

Prompt: Bloodstained Clothes

Fandom: Bloodborne Characters: Laurence the first Vicar/Ludwig the Holy Blade, Choir Leader Yuria (OC) Word Count: 2.893 AO3-Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18718291/chapters/62678581

Summary: Laurence has an untimely nosebleed and gets into trouble when he leaves the event he attends to hide it.

(Author's note: At first I had a comedic piece in mind, then I got stuck and I got tossed the idea to put in Ludwig, so now the story is a bit funny, a bit angsty and a shippy. Enjoy!) Written for @badthingshappenbingo​ Almost done... only one prompt remaining...

As soon as he felt the warm and stinging sensation in his nose as well as the copper taste on his tongue, Laurence knew that he had gotten one of his (in the church) infamous nosebleeds.

While they weren't pleasant of course, usually they didn't bother him too much, he would just press a handkerchief against his nose and keep working until it had gone away.

However, at this very moment, Laurence wasn't in the safety of his office. He wasn't even at the safety of the church. In fact, he was attending a noble man's party because he had to ensure that he would keep up donations to the Healing Church.

If he would get seen with a nosebleed, that wouldn't paint a good light on the Healing Church and the blood healing, which should be able to heal any injury or sickness with ease (but had failed to heal Laurence' nosebleed problem so far).

So, as soon as Laurence had noticed the signs of his nosebleed, he had hurried to the mansion's bathroom, where he sat himself down on the toilet and pressed his handkerchief against his nose, head slightly turned downwards, hoping that the nosebleed would cease soon.

After Laurence couldn't spot any new blood stains in his handkerchief, he took a few deep breathes and got up, looking at his hands. They were smeared with blood. Of course, he had put them over his nose while he had hurried to the bathroom. Laurence approached the sink and turned on the tap, to erase any traces of blood. He should check his face too, nothing would be more embarrassing that traces of crusted blood on his face.

As soon as his hands were clean, Laurence looked into the mirror, indeed seeing that a bit of blood had crusted over his lips and chin. His nosebleed had felt pretty bad... He splashed a bit of water in his face until the crusted blood was gone and dried it with a towel. Then, he took a step back from the mirror to take another look if he had gotten all the blood off his body.

He froze when he noticed the very obvious, very bloody stain right on his holy shawl and even worse, it apparently had managed to drip on his vicar robe below.

“Fuck!”, Laurence hissed. “Fuck, fuck, fuck...”, he continued. Of course he had to get blood on his shawl and his robes. Which where both very white. He had to get rid of the stains immediately!

Laurence turned on the tap again and grabbed the soap, letting it foam under the running water and then used it to scrub at the stains. Unfortunately, that didn't do much. In fact, it only seemed to increase the area of them. With a frustrated sigh, Laurence stopped scrubbing, thinking.

Hadn't Florence taught him how to get blood out of clothes because of his common nosebleeds? The problem was, it appeared that Laurence hadn't listened to her, because he couldn't remember anything she might have said. Where was Florence when he needed her the most? Oh right, back at the church, preparing everything he needed for the next day.

Maybe Laurence could try and hide the stain somehow? It would have been easy if he wouldn't have gotten blood on his shawl, then he could just have used it to cover up the stain on his robes. Maybe he could just flip the shawl? As Laurence took it off and looked if his idea would work, he had to find out with disdain, that blood had seeped to the other side of the shawl and it was as bloodstained as the front.

Now what? Should Laurence make up some kind of excuse? He could tell anyone that asked that he had ran into a door. Or maybe not, then they would just laugh at him. What if he told that he had gotten the nosebleed in a fist fight? …No, that idea wasn't good either, because then he had to find someone to blame and Laurence very much preferred to be on the good side of the nobles. For once, Laurence pitied that nobody of Cainhurst was present, he easily had been able to blame them without getting his reputation drawn into the dirt.

Before Laurence could think up any kind of solution or excuse, there was a frantic knock at the door. “Heeelloo, are you maybe done soon? Others need to use the bathroom too, you know.”

Great, now Laurence had to leave. If he would stay in, he would give the impression that he wasn't feeling well and that certainly wouldn't put him into a good light and he absolutely would be the source of rumours. With a sigh, Laurence opened the door.

“Finally.”, the voice from before said and Laurence froze as he recognized the owner of the voice as Yuria. Oh great, he had completely forgotten that the leader of the choir had been invited to the party too. She froze as much as him, then her gaze went to his robes (for once she wasn't wearing the blindfold cap, of course she wasn't) and a grin appeared on her face.

“Looks like you had another nosebleed, Laurie.”, Yuria snickered.

“Shut up, Yuria.”, Laurence said, not in the mood for her teasing. “Don't tell anyone.

“What stops me from telling something as funny as the Vicar, the inventor of the Blood Ministration, the one who can heal any sickness, still not being able to get rid of his nosebleeds?”, Yuria asked, a certain glee shining in her eyes.

“Well, maybe that I don't plan on moving away from this doorway if you do and then there will be a far funnier and more embarrassing rumour about the choir leader.”, Laurence said, a smug smile on his face. Yuria's gaze darkened.

“Fine, I won't tell anyone. Just let me use the bathroom.”, she hissed. Laurence stepped aside and before Yuria closed the door behind her, he heard her murmur: “Anyone is able to see it anyway, I don't even need to spell it out for them.”

Yuria was right. There were some very obvious blood stains on Laurence' clothes and he didn't had a clue how to hide them or explain them. He couldn't tell the truth because that would people doubt the effectiveness of the Healing Blood. Should he just leave?

Laurence already had convinced the host to keep up his donation for the Healing Church. Normally, at this point, he would find the next best willing woman (sometimes it was a man) and have some fun with them, because he didn't had the desire to talk with anybody at these parties. He also had to wait for his bodyguard that would escort him back, because at night beasts could appear. The Hunter's Workshop usually took care of them, but the Healing Church still had a curfew after sundown. Often, the party guests stayed over night, but Laurence always had a strong distaste staying longer than he needed, so he usually requested that one of the Hunters was getting him, especially when he had gotten drunk. Often it was Gehrman who came for him.

As Laurence still had been deep in thought, he heard the flush of the toilet and then Yuria stepped out, looking at him. “You should come to a decision soon, Laurie.”, she grinned and then went back into the main room for the party.

Again, Yuria was right. It might be a bit dangerous, but Laurence should be able to get back to the church on his own. He had trained with the threaded cane, a weapon that Gehrman had made for him and he hadn't even done that bad while sparring against Gehrman and Maria. Surely he would be able to hold his own in a fight by now.

Laurence went to the entrance of the mansion, found his threaded cane (luckily it didn't look like a weapon so that it never was confiscated), looked back and then shrugged. They didn't need him there anymore, it was better than for anyone to see his bloodstained clothes and get the wrong ideas. Laurence pressed on the button which transformed the cane into the whip, clutched the handle tightly in his left hand and then left the mansion.

The moon was up in the sky and cast a pale silvery light down on Yharnam. Normally Laurence liked to look at the moon, but the full moon made him uneasy. He always had the feeling that the beasts were more aggressive when the moon was full. He took a deep breath to calm down and started walking into the direction of the cathedral.

Luckily he wasn't that far away from the cathedral, most of the nobles lived in the centre of Yharnam, close to cathedral ward. Laurence probably only needed thirty minutes to reach it.

Still... in thirty minutes a lot could happen. Laurence considered if he should stop at the workshop instead, but Gehrman and the others surely were out patrolling the streets and Gehrman had refused to give Laurence a key to the workshop (probably because Gehrman wanted to have some peace and quiet and not be in danger of Laurence to barge in at any time of the day). So the workshop was out of the question. Maybe Laurence should stop at Oedon Chapel? Of course it was save in there, but there wasn't a soft bed to sleep in and he would get rather bored just waiting out the night there.

No, it would be fine. He would make it to the cathedral and then could change out of bhis loodstained clothes, hand them to Florence the next day and this time listen when she explained him how to get rid of blood stains out of white clothes. For now Laurence just hoped that nobody would see him, but outside of the hunters nobody should roam the city streets anyway.

Even though Laurence tried to calm himself down, he got more and more uneasy as he was walking down the streets. Every shadow, every movement, made him nervous and he often twirled around, threaded cane at the ready, only to relax when he realized that it had been no beast.

“Relax, Laurence, relax.”, he murmured to himself. “You trained. You can take down a beast yourself should the need arise.” Still, having trained was a different thing than a real battle. Maybe he should ask Gehrman and Maria to go along on their patrol one day, to see if he really could handle himself. For now, he just had to hope that no beast would cross his way.

After Laurence had travelled around the half of the way, he heard a snarl. Laurence' head jerked around and he took a step back when he saw it... one of the lycanthrope like beasts, hunching over, eyes glowing in the dark.

“You.. you don't scare me...”, Laurence murmured, preparing his threaded cane, noticing how much his arm was jittering. Laurence asked himself how the beast had found him... after all, they were more interested in blood and therefore would often go after the hunters who were covered in blood.

Laurence' gaze went downwards to his bloodstained clothes and he groaned internally. What had he done? Like this, he was a living target for the beasts! There was no choice but to either run or fight. Laurence doubted that he would be able to outrun the beast, so he had to fight. He stroke at the same time as the beast lunged forwards.

Laurence' hit seemed to have almost no effect when it brushed against the left front leg of the beast. Laurence could see a bit of blood flying, but the beast didn't slow down or collapsed, in fact, it soon had Laurence buried under its claws. Laurence' whole body was shaking as the beast sniffed at his clothes and started to lick over the blood. It would soon have enough of licking his clothes and bite through Laurence' throat instead. He had to act quick. Laurence transformed the threaded cane back and while the beast was distracted, stabbed the blade right into its eye.

The beast howled in pain and let go of Laurence. He tried to scramble back onto his feet, his knees feeling like pudding, when the beasts paw hit him and he got hurled back to the ground, hissing when the impact send a ripple of pain through his body. When Laurence opened his eyes again, he saw the foaming mouth of the beast above him and he clenched his whole body, closing his eyes again, awaiting the bite that would end his life, sweat dropping down his forehead.

“Begone, vile beast!”

Laurence opened his eyes as he felt the pressure of the beast's weights being lifted from his body and stared at the hunter who had just saved his life. He had seen him already, sometimes in the workshop. He was tall, handsome, with straight black hair and he wielded a weapon that was so unique that not even Gehrman could recreate it.

The sword was as bright as the full moon itself and easily cut the head off the neck of the beast, hot blood pouring down on the cobblestone.

“Are you alright? Are you hurt?”, the hunter came hurried to Laurence which still sat there dumbfounded, clothes uncomfortably damp and Laurence very much hoped that it was just sweat he felt in his pants. The hunter gasped as he saw just who was sitting on the floor: “Vicar?! What are you doing here?”

“I, um..., wanted to go home...”, Laurence said. “Back to the cathedral...”

“On your own? With clothes like that?”, the hunter gestured at Laurence' bloodied shawl and robes. What had been his name again? Something with L, that much Laurence remembered, but not the rest. Would it be awkward to ask?

“...not my smartest move, I admit...”, Laurence murmured.

“Well, whatever.”, the hunter said. “The important thing is, that you haven't gotten hurt. I would like to escort you back to the church before another beast sniffs out the scent of blood on your clothes.”

The hunter offered a hand to Laurence, helping him up. Laurence had the feeling he turned a bit red in the face. That hunter sure was handsome and despite his situation, he could feel the attraction rising inside of him.

That's so inappropriate., Laurence thought to himself.

“In case you haven't gotten my name yet, it's Ludwig.”, the hunter said and finally Laurence had a name to the face and that even without asking. Had Ludwig sensed that Laurence might have forgotten his name? Or maybe he just assumed that Laurence had trouble remembering the names of all the hunters in the workshop, especially the ones he wasn't close too.

“Thank you for saving me, Ludwig.”, Laurence said. “I will make sure that you get a proper reward once I am back at the cathedral. However... are you alone? Isn't it common for hunters to hunt in pairs?”

It was one of Gehrman's rules. Every hunter should have a partner, like Maria and Gehrman always hunted together.

“Because of my weapon and fighting style, Gehrman told me that it would better if I hunt on my own.”, Ludwig said. “A partner would just be in my way and be in danger of getting into the crossfire. Besides, I have Midnight.”

“Midnight?”, Laurence asked and Ludwig put his fingers into his mouth to whistle. A short while later, a horse came running, with silvery fur. It remembered Laurence of the colour of the moonlight.

“My horse and partner.”, Ludwig said. “I prefer to hunt on horseback, a lot of the larger beast are easier to take down like this. But for now, she will be glad to take you back to the cathedral.”

“I shall get up there?”, Laurence asked. He had never learned how to ride a horse. He always had taken carriages when he needed to be somewhere that was farther away.

“Yes. Don't worry, I will take her reins and guide her, you don't need to know how to ride.”, Ludwig said.

Laurence winced. Had Ludwig looked through him a second time or was it just a mere coincidence?

“I don't know how to get up there, though...”, Laurence said, looking up at the horse. He felt very small and helpless against the giant animal.

“Allow me to help you.”, Ludwig said and Laurence could feel how he was lifted in air without any effort and landed in the saddle. He turned red in the face again, being handled so easily had turned him incredibly on.

Inappropriate., Laurence thought to himself again. I am so inappropriate.

“Tell me if you need anything, if you are in pain, if you feel sick, just say one word and we'll stop right away.

Laurence nodded.

“Then let's get going.”, Ludwig took the reins of the horse and they got moving, Laurence holding himself on the saddle, staring at Ludwig the whole time until they were at the cathedral.

He knew what he would be doing once he was behind the safety of his room. (Author's note: It had just been sweat in Laurence' pants, don't worry, however I can't guarantee what will happen to them later...)

[snowbreeze64]

i call this one: proof i’m going insane

anyways here’s a list of all times webs/and or spiders have been mentioned in 167 episodes of the magnus archives bc i haven’t listened to 168 yet.

spoilers through tma episode 167 because, yeah

UP TO DATE THROUGH EPISODE 167

CONFIRMED WEBISODES (Rusty Quill Youtube Playlist)

#8 Burned Out *

#16 Arachnophobia

#56 Children of the Night

#59 Recluse *

#67 Burning Desire *

#69 (nice) Thought for the Day

#81 A Guest For Mr. Spider

#100 I Guess You Had To Be There

#110 Creature Feature

#114 Cracked Foundation *

#123 Web Development

#136 The Puppeteer

#147 The Weaver

#167 Curiosity

* = Hill Top Road Related

And now, to channel my S2 Jon energy, which is also just BDG

ALL MENTIONS OF SPIDERS AND/OR WEBS IN NON-WEBISODES

#3 Across the Street - the Table is introduced

#9 A Father’s Love - “As far as I was concerned, the sturdy wooden structure was just the home of spiders’ nests and the rusted garden tools my parents would use once a year to attack the overgrown wilderness that was our back garden.” (Julia Montauk about their shed)

#11 Dreamer - “Looking down I could see a web of dark tendrils criss-crossing the streets and crawling up the buildings.” (Oliver Banks about the death tendril things)

#12 First Aid - Hill Top Road relation (Diego Molina)

#19 Confession/#20 Desecrated Host - Hill Top Road related

#22 Colony - Martin investigates Carlos Vittery’s house, finds lots of spiderwebs.

#32 Hive - “Was it the spiders? There were webs in the corners, around the entryway into the attic. I would watch them scurry and disappear in between the wooden boards. ‘Where are you going, little spiders?’ I would think. ‘What are you seeing in the dark? Is it food? Prey? Predators?’ I wondered if it was the spiders that made the gentle buzzing song. It was not. Webs have a song as well, of course, but it is not the song of the hive.” (Jane Prentiss)

#35 Old Passages - “I have the vaguest memories: flashes of a pile of paper, completely covered in cobweb…” (Harold Silvana about the tunnels)

#36 Taken Ill - “Just a sort of spider web design on the front.” (Jon about his lighter)

#37 Burnt Offering - Hill Top Road related

#38 Lost and Found - Jon attacks a spider and somehow makes a hole in the wall, and now there are worms

#39 Infestation - “No, no… it’s just that whatever web these statements have caught you in, well, I’m there too. We all are, I think.” (Martin)

#40 Human Remains - “Yes. She was sat in a wooden chair in the middle of the room. No worms. No cobwebs. Just… an old corpse.” (Martin about Gertrude’s corpse) (Does the sudden absence of spiders count as spiders?)

#43 Section 31 - “The most I could get out of her was that she was originally sectioned for something she referred to as “spider husks”.” (Basira about Daisy getting sectioned)

#44 Tightrope - “Why did she begin recording them? And why stop? If she’d been doing so right up until her death, she would’ve likely gotten through much of the archive, and… moreover I wouldn’t have had to find this tape player tucked away in the storage room, covered in dust and cobwebs.” (Jon about the tape player) (it’s covered in cobwebs! Suspicious! What do you mean old things get covered in cobwebs naturally?)

#46 Literary Heights - “I did go down there to see if I could find anything, but it seems much as it did last time. The only difference now is… all the spiderwebs. They seem to have spread down there. I think I saw some of the larger specimens actually eating the remains of the worms.” (Jon about the tunnels under the archives)

#51 High Pressure - “No… No, it isn’t. I’ve always seen it more like a web?” (Not!Sasha about the Table)

#63 The End of the Tunnel - “We’ve had something of a spectrum from him and his ilk: cobwebs entombing, difficulty in navigation, and now a violent, murderous dark.” (Jon about Robert Smirke)

#65 Binary - “Statement of Tessa Winters, regarding a strange computer program she downloaded from the Deep Web three months ago.” (What? It’s a web!)

#67 Burning Desire - “I looked up and noticed within the corner of the room, where there had been a spider’s web this morning, there was just a faint wisp of smoke.” and “Another held a bag that seemed to be full of candles, while a third had a clear plastic container filled with hundreds of tiny spiders.” (Jack Barnabas about his date with Agnes and the people in front of her flat) (this was already listed in webisodes but i just thought it was interesting)

#68 The Tale of a Field Hospital - “There were a couple of spiders, so I changed routes and found, I think it’s a gas main.” (Jon about exploring the tunnels) (also that gas main *eyes eyes eyes*)

#78 Distant Cousin - “Wrapped around it were thick strands of what I think was spider’s web, stretching back into the table, which I now saw pulsed along its carved channels with a sickly light.” (Laurence Moore about Adelard Dekker trapping the Not!Them in the table) and “Hollow. Just cobwebs and dust.” (Jon, breaking the table)

#79 Hide and Seek - “Of course the table was binding it. The table is webs and spiders. Spiders are something else. They don’t help each other, they oppose, they… they weaken. It was caught in a web, and I…” (Jon about the table...and perhaps Beholding something about the entities?)

#87 The Uncanny Valley - Jude Perry working with the Stranger, so Hill Top Road related?

#89 Twice as Bright - Statement of Jude Perry, Hill Top Road related

#90 Body Builder - “As you’d expect, most of the listings just pointed me towards the their websites, but I spotted a small, square ad box in the lower left corner.” (Ross Davenport, about finding his new gym) (yes i KNOW this is a stretch but the word website has the word web in it so…)

#91 The Coming Storm - “One lighter, gold, spiderweb design.” (Daisy going through Jon’s stuff)

#111 Family Business - Jon and Gerry discuss the entities, including the Web

#112 Thrill of the Chase - “We all met through one of those meetup websites, I-I forget which one.” (Lisa Carmel, about Murder Club) (listen it’s a WEBSITE so it has the word WEB in it and besides THE SPIDERS CONTROL THE WORLD WIDE WEB)

#114 Cracked Foundation - “It was warmer down there, warmer every step, and I found myself brushing cobwebs from my face as I got further down, until at last there I was - stood in the cellar of Hill Top Road.” (Anya Villette about Hill Top Road)

#117 Testament - “I know, I know it’s not exactly intricate, but it felt good leaving my own little web. Oh, oh, Christ, I hope John doesn’t actually listen to these. “Good lord, is Martin becoming some sort of spider person?” No, John, it’s an expression, chill out!” (Martin about his plan.) (also, I’ve been called out by Martin.)

#118 The Masquerade - “DAISY: Shut. Up. It’s just cobwebs. ARCHIVIST: There’s no such thing as just cobwebs.” (Jon walking into some cobwebs while planting C4) (also he’s RIGHT, DAISY)

#121 Far Away - “Just a second of them webbed over the face of a drunk old man stumbling into his car.” (Oliver about seeing the death tendrils in the waking world) and “Honestly, I’m still not exactly sure why I’m here. But you know better than anyone how the spiders can get into your head. Easier to just do what she asks.” (Oliver about why he’s visiting Jon)

#135 Civilian Casualties - “In the last week I’ve seen two different people wearing symbols for the People’s Church of the Divine Host, and it’s rare I go anywhere without cobwebs, anymore.” (Jon about the Institute being watched)

#128 Heavy Goods - “We had some luggage, once, a thrumming silk-wrapped thing of the spider, hiding away in an old steamer trunk.” and “The Spider’s always an easy job, no fuss, no complications, everything planned and prepared. It knows too much to truly be a stranger, but hides its knowing well enough to endure.” (Breekon about his and Hope’s deliveries)

#130 Meat - “I found this tape tucked in a corner of my desk drawer (sigh) covered in cobwebs. I suppose subtlety has gone out the window a bit, and the question is now simply… how much I trust the Spider to have my best interests at heart.” (Jon about the statement he just played. Also the Spider giving him the idea to use a flesh-anchor???)

#134 Time of Revelation - “There are two powers that, to my knowledge, have never attempted to fully manifest. Never had followers set them up for a ritual. Mother of Puppets, and Terminus. The Web and the End. The Web, I’ve never really been sure about. If I were to guess, I would say it actually prefers the world as is: playing everyone against each other. And so on.” (Peter Lukas about the entities)

#137 Nemesis - “Still, the anticlimax is fascinating. I can only assume they were supposed to be bombed at the height of the ritual - maybe by Japanese aircraft, maybe Allied, maybe both. I wonder what stopped it. A Japanese radar filled with spiderwebs, a US destroyer finding itself suddenly alone in the open ocean? Heh. We’ll probably never know.” (Gertrude about the Slaughter’s failed dance party)

#139 Chosen - Statement about Agnes, Hill Top Road related

#145 Infectious Doubts - “Ah. That’s a fair enough question. It was the Web. I didn’t know it at the time, of course, and I would call it an accident, but it never is, with them. It’s only after the fact that you can see all the subtle manipulations.” (Gertrude about the ritual binding her and Agnes)

#146 Threshold - “There is something wrong with Hill Top Road. You know it as well as I do. Some strange scar on reality at the center of - whatever it is that the Spider is spinning.” (Helen about Hill Top Road) and “What a delightful thought. (short pause) I don’t believe so, no. But the Spider’s strings are subtle, so I suppose it’s not impossible. Why?” (Helen about being controlled by the web to eat Marcus McKenzie (door guy)) Also throughout this episode Jon is wondering whether Annabelle is controlling him

#148 Extended Surveillance - “Or that we were being stalked by some freaky spider woman? Don’t tell me you didn’t know about that.” (Basira while beating up Elias) “Look, look - I’ve been doing this a long time now, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned about the Web, it’s that it plays its own game. All you can really do is hope it doesn’t get in the way of whatever your plan is. Because the Spider usually wins.” (Elias about the Web)

#150 Cul-de-Sac - “The Lonely is possibly the most insidious of the powers, I believe. Certainly it is the one that most delights and having you do its work for it, even the spiders seem to have a hard time matching it for sheer seductiveness.” (Jon about the Lonely). Also during this episode he and Melanie argue about whether her therapist is Web.

#157 Rotten Core - “Or Annabelle Cane is trying to manipulate me into thinking it’s one of the other scenarios. Previously, the spiders have made their presence clear when they’ve sent me… hints… but I can’t take that for granted.” (Jon about the Adelard statement left on his desk) (hey wait a minute if the statements refuse to record digitally how did Adelard send his on an e-mail-)

#160 The Eye Opens - “I’ll admit, my options were somewhat limited, but My God, when you came to me already marked by the Web, I knew it had to be you. I even held out some small hope you had been sent by the Spider as some sort of implicit blessing on the whole project, and, do you know what, I think it was.” (Douchard about Jon)

#163 In the Trenches - Annabelle calls Martin, Martin doesn’t pick up

#164 The Sick Village - “That’s - weird; I - I know the Web was wrapped around that phone, but, but I can’t - see her. A, At all.” (Jon about Annabelle)

#166 The Worms - Annabelle calls Martin to neg him over the phone.

Why did I spend over an hour doing this? Hell if I know. Am I any closer to finding out what the spiders want? Nope. So they’ve been helping Jon figure stuff out and got him appointed to the Institute in the first place, presumably so Elias would carry out his ritual, but why if they’ve never attempted a ritual before? They can’t be happy being ruled over by the Eye. What does Annabelle want with Martin? What the hell is going on at Hill Top Road?? WHAT IS UP WITH JON’S LIGHTER?????

[d2kvirus]

Dickheads of the Month: September 2020

As it seems that there are people who say or do things that are remarkably dickheaded yet somehow people try to make excuses for them or pretend it never happened, here is a collection of some of the dickheaded actions we saw in the month of September 2020 to make sure that they are never forgotten.

Remember how proven liar Boris Johnson said he had a world-beating oven-ready Britait deal, which was also the basis of his election slogan campaign of “Get Britait done” and the lack of support for the deal is the reason he sacked 21 of his own MPs?  Just asking, because he tore the whole thing up and said it was unworkable - which also led to Brandon Lewis saying in Parliament, so it is now forever enshrined in the Hansard, that De Pfeffel merely broke international law “in a very specific and limited way” - you know, sort of like how the Manson Family broke the law in a very specific and limited way

The bold vision of a new BBC shared by Tim Davie was revealed when he threatened comedy shows with the axe if they kept making jokes about Britait, the Tory Party or Donald Trump on his first day on the job, because as we all know the best form of comedy comes from punching down rather than up, which is why Little Britain definitely hasn’t aged appallingly

Master of decorum Donald Trump couldn’t even wait a few short hours after Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s death before he started rallying the foot soldiers about cramming somebody more fitting with what he wanted into the Supreme Court

Mayor of Amity Island governor of Florida Ron DeSantis continued his bid to be recognised for having the worst response to the Covid pandemic in the congress of having the worst possible response to the Covid pandemic by deciding that, actually, the state of Florida needs to lessen its Covid restrictions at a time when cases of Covid have begun to rise alarmingly in the state

It’s no surprise that proven liar Boris Johnson lied in Parliament by referring to Serco’s failing test & trace app as “NHS Test & Trace” - however the biggest issue is that the BBC had been using the exact same phrase for at least two weeks before that

Nobody was surprised to hear smirking cretin Priti Patel personally using the term “activist lawyers” that the Home Office (headed by P. Patel) had previously used to dehumanise and demean people upholding those pesky immigration laws that the Tory Party really don’t like getting in the way

Tax dodging orange goblin Donald Trump was asked a simple question: Do you think that white supremacists are a problem?  We are still waiting for an answer to that question...

Okay, so now the Conservative Party are cracking down on people breaking lockdown, with threats of a £10,000 fine - rather than circling the wagons around them and throwing out one cock and bull excuse after another like they did when Dominic Cummings broke lockdown to nip off to Durham after testing positive for Covid on what just so happened to be his wife’s birthday

You know that Matt Hancock is good at his job when, having been sent out in front of the cameras to defend The Tory Party appointing ex-Australian PM and all-around arsehole Tony Abbott as a trade advisor in spite his history of misogynistic, homophobic and “Let’s kill the elderly so we can survive Covid” comments the best he could do was say he was a good negotiator...which promptly led to all manner of comments about Harold Shipman being a good GP and Fred West laying one hell of a patio 

According to Jacob Rees Mogg the public having a legitimate complaint about it being damn near impossible to have a Covid test is nothing more than “endless carping” and not, say, legitimate criticism of a woefully underprepared government trying to coast by on the bare minimum who have the gall to try and blame the public for their long list of catestrophic fuckups

It was no surprise to hear proven liar Boris Johnson hand-wringing about “the freedom of the press” after Extinction Rebellion finally realised that being annoying idiots is far more likely to gain support if you’re being annoying idiots with a purpose - just as it was no surprise to hear that proven liar Boris Johnson had no opinion whatsoever of Tim Davie telling BBC newsreaders to fall in line with the corporation (read: Tory) line or they’d be sacked

Once again there was a chance for Keir Starmer to show that his talk of being “true Opposition” is more than a soundbite and, once again, he wimped out on it when ordering Labour MPs to abstain from voting on the Overseas Operations (Service Personnel and Veterans) Bill for fear of being accused of being “anti-British” by voting for a bill created to stop prosecution of British troops for using torture instead of voting against it - and then sacking Nadia Whittome, Beth Winter, and Olivia Blake from their junior ministerial positions when they were three of the 18 Labour MPs who voted against it

It clearly never occurred to Marsha Blackburn when she was browbeating people about the Constitution of the US never being rewritten that the Constitution of the US has been rewritten several times already.  There’s a reason they’re called “Amendments” and not “Footnotes” you know...

Smirking cretin Priti Patel proudly stated that, if she saw her neighbours, she’d gladly call the police due to them breaking the law.  This was around 14 hours after she’d voted to break international law in the Commons, or a few short years after she broke ministerial code by nipping over to Israel to have undisclosed meetings with israeli officials, which begs the question about whether her neighbours are just as willing, doesn’t it?

Judging by Alan Sugar tweeting out conspiracy theories about Covid being created in a Wuhan lab, I think it's safe to say that no Apprentice game show host is capable of not acting like a complete arse on Twitter.  Luckily for the UK, Sugar isn’t Prime Minister - he’s merely a member of the House of Lords...

It’s been a while since WWE acted like totalitarian dicks to the wrestlers employed independently contracted to them but they managed to find one by telling every single one of their employees independent contractors that they could no longer use Twitch or Cameo as it was decided this was being “detrimental” to the company...you know, the bunch of carnies who sign billion dollar deals with our journalist-murdering, woman-oppressing, Yemeni-slaughtering, 9/11-planning “allies” Saudi Arabia, don’t have any for of healthcare for their employees independent contractors, continued a pay per view even though one of their employees independent contractors died due to a stunt going wrong that was linked to the company cheaping out on a safety harness, and apparently not knowing that the term “independent contractor” doesn’t mean the company can sign them to five year deals but sack them at any point - and then prevent them from working anywhere else for 90 days

We had confirmation of Alison Pearson possessing a terrifying combination of pig ignorance and outright sociopathy when she began a Telegraph article with the following: “My son has Covid-19.  Good.”

Sour grapes from Lisa Nandy over people forgetting she was in the Labour leadership race judging by how she apparently didn’t listen to a party pledge to tax corporations and instead spout off a bunch of nonsensical gibberish that sounded uncannily like Britain First rhetoric under the belief that sounding like Britain First is guaranteed to win back working class Northern voters

Litigious TERF JK Rowling revealed her latest book is about a man who murders people while dressed as a woman, which definitely hasn’t drawn any form of comment whatsoever...

You would like to believe that reports of Limestone Games not only effectively stealing the game Aeon Must Die! from the actual dev team who were forced out of the company by a culture of abuse and harassment by a shady cabal who took over the studio would have eld to the game’s release being postponed, especially after it emerged that assets used in the game’s trailer were infringing on various copyrights - but instead Focus Home Entertainment responded by twiddling their thumbs and doing nothing

I’m sure there’s no connection between Alan Sugar demanding people go back to work as if the number of Covid cases has been rising to an alarming degree and how Alan Sugar is bemoaning that his commercial property portfolio is not making him “enough” money due to people staying at home.  None whatsoever...

The fact that those moron parents in California started a wildfire after setting off fireworks for their baby’s gender reveal party that led to over 20,000 people having to evacuate their homes is dickheaded enough - but the fact that it’s not the first case of this happening, as a similar incident happened in Arizona back in 2018, makes them look even more dickheaded

If you want to say you put Britain before anything else, like Andrea Jenkyns did in her latest Twitter tsunami of childishness and spite, it doesn't look good when you say you're pro-Trump before pre-De Pfeffel as it defeats your own argument almost as fast as being Andrea Jenkyns - or, you know, failing to spell the word “British” correctly when accusing people of being anti-British

It would have been wise if West Ham announced that manager David Moyes and two players had tested positive for Covid before their match with Hull - not after the match had kicked off, leading to Moyes legging it out of the stadium

Whatever it is in the mind of DeAnna Lorraine that snapped and had her babbling insane nonsense that The Masked Singer is part of a covert plot to have people wearing masks probably can’t be repaired, and appears to have also caused her to accuse anyone who thinks she does sound insane of being acolytes of George Soros

Professional victim Laurence Fox somehow believed that posting a chat log of a conversation between himself and Rebecca Front and then howling about being “cancelled” - and then a few hours later had to very publicly backtrack, no doubt because his agent had several dozen words with him

I have no idea why David Cameron convinced himself that showing himself helping out in the Chipping Norton food bank was a good idea, considering he’s the reason why food banks exist in the first place

How nice of Manchester Metropolitan University to tell the students who were confined to accomodation so unable to go out and buy food, who were paying £9000 tuition fees for face-to-face tutoring that was done via Zoom that makes such good value of the hundreds of pounds of rent they have to pay per month when they could have had those same lectures from home, that they’re not allowed to protest about this situation and had to take any signs posted on their windows critical of the government down immediately

In normal circumstances Mason Greenwood and Phil Foden sneaking girls into the England team hotel would look pretty stupid, especially in Foden’s case considering the odds of his live-in girlfriend not finding out about this are practically nil, but during a global pandemic it looked so incredibly boneheaded it’s lucky they play for the Manchester clubs otherwise the front pages would be calling them ignorant traitors or some such bullshit

Nothing sums up Premier League referees quite like them clearly not understanding the current definition of the handball rule, but rather than actually look it up they make it up as they go alone leading to more penalties being awarded for handball in the first four rounds of Premier League fixtures than in entire seasons - not helped by Premier League referees also operating VAR, where they seem to have a policy of “If you ignore my cock up, I’ll ignore yours”

And finally, inventing yet another terror atrocity, is Donald Trump and his batshit insane proclamations about cans of soup being a much bigger threat to American lives than, say, and AR-15.  But then again, it’s not like his support base has a habit of throwing cans of soup at crowds of people

[horny-for-evil]

Spoilers this is gonna be long I'm sorry (part 1 Predators)

If you enjoy Predators (2010) and The Predator (2018) I'm very glad you could get enjoyment out of them. I however think they are absolutely terrible.

In Predators they're obviously in a "Most dangerous game" situation but nobody even brings it up. They don't realize they're being hunted until the weird predator dogs attack them. What the obelisk covered in human skulls and the fact that you're stuck in the jungle with guns with no memory of how you got there wasn't enough to tip you off that something was obviously wrong?? No they do the smart thing and assume they're all dead like on fucking Lost. Idiots. Then that idiotic twist where the "doctor" is a psycho. Nobody, not a single person, thought it was weird that this so called doctor is just carrying around one scalpel. And the whole thing where he steals the photo of that other guys children to use as leverage later because he's apparently so "cold and calculated". You took his photo right in front of him. You didn't even wait until later when he (obviously) gets killed off or while he was sleeping. Like what the shit. AND I thought predators only hunt worthy game. So they consider some little psycho worthy when the only weapon he used the entire movie was the POISON he got from a plant in the beginning of the movie. They wasted Laurence Fishburne by having him only be alive for a few minutes. Like what you can't get trapped and do stupid shit on your own? No you have to drag good actors into it. And don't even get me started on the predator that is strung up by the hunting party. Imagine if you will a scenario where they release that predator as soon as they find him. Get him gear and have him help the humans seeing as how he would have no reason not to help them. The part with Laurence Fishburne would have been even more useless because the predator could have torn off that heavy door that had them trapped to be *sigh* slowly suffocated by a tiny fire Laurence Fishburne set outside the room. Unfortunately they didn't do that so they escape and go through a pointless sequence of maybe we aren't so different from the predators. That leads to psycho boy using his poison ,that he somehow still had on his scalpel, to paralyze the girl. Which then leads to by far my least favorite part of the movie, psycho boy does his cliche villain speech of "oh back home im a freak but here I'm at home with the monsters. I want to stay here". Ok you little shit so all of this buildup to you being super smart has just made me think you're even more of an idiot then I already thought you were. They will kill you. You are nothing more than a trophy for their wall. You are not the same. And you deserved to get blown up by those grenades. Best and simultaneously worst trap ever by the way. The fact that the predators always fall for such stupid shit is beyond me. Oh! And i forgot to mention the strung up predator gets killed. While psycho boy is being psycho the main character goes to help that predator and use his ship to get home. That leads to him getting killed by the leader of the hunting party and the ship getting blown up. So after the MC of course wasn't on the ship he saves the girl from psycho boy, uses his dumbass for that grenade trap i mentioned earlier and kills the predator. I will say though I am so SO fucking glad they didn't kiss at the end. But they are still stuck on an alien planet with no means of getting home except for killing the next batch of predators who come and stealing their ship.

I will admit I may have been harsh on this movie but I just really don't like it.

@detectivepanda55561

[iicewitch]

☕ real boy

a playlist for @stevenrcgers​ link to playlist: here tracklist and favorite lyrics below

1. blood, sweat and tears - bts   Peaches and cream, sweeter than sweet Chocolate cheeks and chocolate wings But your wings are wings of the devil In front of your sweet is bitter bitter 2. brainchild - everything everything A good thing Now you think about it, don't you make it real? The bad thing, maybe it's a feeling I don't want to feel But love is all you need to know But love is all you need to know

3. dumb dumb - red velvet

Like a mannequin Everything is so awkward I should just act like I do normally But whenever I see you, I act so stupid Like my little brother’s robot Everything is so awkward What do I do? I think I’m broken I forgot even how to breathe 4. the zombie song - stephanie mabey And I'd try not to bite and infect you because I'd respect you too much And that's why I'd wait until we got married Oh, and our happiest days would be spent Picking off all your friends and they'd see A love this deep won't stay buried

5. real boy -  lola blanc Every time we touch your hands are colder, colder There's no beating coming from your wooden chest Frozen grin, a mannequin When I get closer I can see the strings there underneath your vest 6. who do you want to be ? - oingo boingo Who do you want to be today? Who do you want to be? I think I'll be a teddy boy, I think I'll be a hunk I think I'll be a tough guy and I think I'll be a punk I might just be a fashion star all dressed in frilly rags Or perhaps, I'll cross the other side and walk around in drag! 7. under my skin - jukebox the ghost I can fit two people under my skin Yeah, I can fit two people under my skin And I will prove it if you will listen You crawled up in there, you joined me within I can feel your heart beating under my skin And the beating of your heart is making me bleed from within 8. mr. capgras encounters a secondhand vanity: tulpamancer's prosopagnosia - will wood and the tapeworms Damn, I thought you’re not your imposter. You’re so sure you’re not gonna get caught! Dead in your own skin, but you didn’t choose what you were born in! And another man in your repertoire, ready in your head and fed upon your memoirs Still the same rules apply from the birthday to the mourning What you feel and what you do; are those things really you? And if not, then what is?  9. breaking out - the protomen If you can hear my voice outside these walls (If you can hear me) If you can hear me sending out this message tonight Then break the silence, send a signal back (If you can hear me) I'm coming, all I need is a little guiding light...

10. roaring 20s - panic at the disco Maybe I'm overjoyed, maybe I'm paranoid Designer me up in straight jackets My tell-tale heart's a hammer in my chest Cut me a silk-tied tourniquet This is my roaring, roaring 20's 11. evelyn evelyn - evelyn evelyn We grew up closer than most Closer than anything, closer than anything Shared our bed and wore the same clothes Talked about everything, spoke about so many things 12. looking glass - the birthday massacre A boyish notion of false emotion These words are spoken despite my love A fool's devotion was set in motion My eyes are open now

13. play dead - the birthday massacre Thinking hurts and thoughts don't rhyme To those of us who've never tried To find a face behind our lipstick smiles And as our pretty faces die Our broken hearts will wonder why The makeup just won't hide the scars of time 14. lets fall in love - mother mother There's a game in the world A little bit of cat and mouse With the boys and the girls And if I had to ante up I'd bet on the birds 'Cause they don't have to walk around With the boys and the girls 15. o my heart - mother mother And I pour my heart a new foundation But it don't set hard it just stays shaking And I scratch my name I scratch my name in But it don't set hard it gets mixed back in Oh my heart, it's a fish out of water  16. body - mother mother Take my teeth, tear through my cheeks And take the nose go and dispose Oh would you go dispose, just go dispose 'Cause I've grown tired of this body A cumbersome and heavy body 

17. touch up - mother mother I am a makeover queen A swan out of duckling Ugly duckling you're drowning In makeup (in makeup) My makeup (my makeup) Has washed off 18. roman holiday - nicki minaj Take your medication, Roman Take a short vacation, Roman, you'll be okay You need to know your station, Roman Some alterations on your clothes and your brain

19. replicant - they might be giants You've got his eyes Same exact smile All that he has All this will be yours  20. happy days - GHOST Oh, it’s painful My heart is quite a mouthful I’ll tear it out for you I’ll be the sacrifice for you Y’know, things could go exactly how you want it I’d be exactly how you want me Use what’s left of my soiled personality I’m all yours, I’ll do anything 21. girls on film - duran duran 'Cause the crowd all love pulling dolly by the hair By the hair And she wonders how she ever got here As she goes under again Girls on film (two minutes later) Girls on film Girls on film (got your picture) Girls on film  22. nobody - mitski And I know no one will save me I'm just asking for a kiss Give me one good movie kiss And I'll be alright Nobody, nobody, nobody 

23. TT - twice I feel like crying, I don’t feel like myself This isn’t like me at all I love you so much Think I’m all grown up now I’m free to make my own choices, but why Why can’t I have it my way The more I try to push you away The more I’m drawn and attracted to you baby 24. in every dream home a heartache - roxy music Your skin is like vinyl The perfect companion You float my new pool De luxe and delightful Inflatable doll My role is to serve you Disposable darling Can't throw you away now 25. the moss - cosmo sheldrake But have you heard the story of the rabbit in the moon? Or the cow that hopped the planets while straddling a spoon Or she, who leapt up mountains, while whistling up a tune And swapped her songs with swallows while riding on a broom 26. green - todrick hall Green! Is a way of life And the millions would kill to see their name up in the lights For the green is okay tonight But be careful what you wish Because you might get what you like 27. guy.exe - superfruit Oh I, wish I could synthesize a picture perfect guy Oh I, oh I Six feet tall and super strong, we'd always get along Alright, alright Oh, he'd pick me up at eight and not a minute late Cause I don't like to wait, no Kind and ain't afraid to cry or treat his momma right 28. the dismemberment song - blue da kid  Well once upon a time that's where the clock begins And right after the end Well, that's right where the plot thins And I've got no angel to keep me in line! So I'm taking your narrative and I'm making it mine! 29. me!me!me! - teddyloid I’ve worked hard for myself - What have you done for yourself? When you notice the scattered pieces of the mirror You’ll realize I wanted you to notice Is this still going on? Is this still happening? Even though I’d been waiting for you Even though I loved you 30. alone together - fall out boy My heart is like a stallion, they love it more when it's broken Do you wanna feel beautiful, do you wanna, yeah I'm outside the door, invite me in So we can go back and play pretend 31. get busy living or get busy dying - fall out boy This has been said so many times that I'm not sure if it matters But we never stood a chance And I'm not sure if it matters If you are the shores, I am the waves begging for big moons I'm mailing letters to addresses in a ghost town  32. hi it’s me - ashnikko When I'm with you I have amnesia, I'm weaker than before My stupid brain thinks that I need you, I'm eager to hurt more My best friend thinks that I'm a dumbass My dumbass should be a little more cautious I slip up, I text you, I forget That you were so so disrespectful 33. i’m poppy - poppy Welcome to the new world, I'm your internet girl Open up and you'll see, everyone is happy I like your technology, can you put it on me? The future is so pretty, we're living in harmony 34. idola no circus - neru Come, let’s dance all night in our naked bodies We know, we know your true nature Again putting on a fake face, You’re just like a pierrot ! It’s time to put a mask, a mask On your unsociable faced 35. shine - casey lee williams But baby, it's time to make up your mind I think that tonight is when our stars align Honey, it's time to leave the doubt behind Take my hand 'cause you and I are gonna shine 36. one thing - casey lee williams I was nowhere, I had no one, I felt nothing Lost without a voice and on my own Then a candle's flame brought a brand new name But now you've stolen everything And I'm all alone 37. sweetest cure - hugo What the hell am I s'posed to be Choose a world over me Sitting pretty in my mess On the phone I can't confess Word's out somehow You're the sweetest cure I never got to tell you 38. bang bang bang bang - sohodolls Teacher says that I've been naughty I must learn to concentrate But the girls they pull my hair And with the boys I can't relate Daddy says I'm good for nothing Mama says that it's from him Manic sister thinks I'm cracking Brother says it's in my genes 39. helpless - phillipa soo One week later I'm writin' a letter nightly Now my life gets better Every letter that you write me I'm helpless! He's mine, that boy is mine! Look into your eyes And the sky's the limit, I'm Helpless! Helpless! Down for the count, and I'm drownin' in 'em 40. lifeboat - laurence o’ keefe Everyone's pushing Everyone's fighting Storms are approaching There's nowhere to hide If I say the wrong thing Or I wear the wrong outfit They'll throw me right over the side 41. chase the morning - sarah brightman In you is a world of promise We have both been kept in bondage But you can learn from all my failures Let your life be your dream Integrity, honesty, its too late for me Don't look back till your free to chase the morning 42. no reason - leslie kritzer Everything, everything happens for a reason Be a beacon of light in the world Put a little "alright" in the world There are spiritual guides above Look up and see 'em Perception is reality Just listen to the melody the universe sings 'Cause everything, everything happens for a reason 43. i love play rehearsal - stephanie hsu I love play rehearsal 'Cause you are equiped with directions and text Life is easy in rehearsal You follow a script so you know what comes next Anywho, the point that I'm getting to Is sometimes life can't work out in the way It works out in the play 44. your song - elton john And you can tell everybody this is your song It may be quite simple but now that it's done I hope you don't mind I hope you don't mind That I put down in words How wonderful life is while you're in the world 45. the party goes with you - lindsay mendez And when we're dancing nose to nose Darling do you suppose, darling do you suppose This party could be just us two, and I your wife? Oh, oh, the gayest party, sad but true It's true The party goes with you The party goes with you 46. half jack - dresden dolls It's half biology and half corrective surgery gone wrong You'll notice something funny if you hang around here for too Long ago in some black hole before they had these pills to take it back I'm half Jill and half Jack 47. the secret - pierces Got a secret Can you keep it? Swear, this one you'll save Better lock it in your pocket Takin' this one to the grave If I show you, then I know you Won't tell what I said 'Cause two can keep a secret If one of them is dead 48.  connect - claris My heart awakes in order to depict the future Even if I come to a halt on a tough road The beautiful blue sky always waits for me Therefore I'm not afraid I won't be disheartened anymore no matter what happens 49. simple and clean - hikaru utada Hold me, whatever lies beyond this morning Is a little later on Regardless of warnings, the future doesn't scare me at all Nothing's like before 50. mountains - message to bears  And we could run away Before the light of day You know we always could The mountains say, the mountains say And we could run away Before the light of day You know we always could The mountains say, the mountains say

[aubrey-plaza]

Staubrey theater au? :)

there are SO MANY iterations of this- Aubrey and Stacie as actors who hate each other- tyrannical director Aubrey and diva actor Stacie- diva actor Aubrey and annoyed techie Stacie- major fan Stacie and diva actor Aubreyand that’s not even counting musical theatre and all those dynamics

but let’s go with:

Stacie Conrad is one of the best new costume designers on the east coast and it’s something she’s worked very hard to achieve. She might still be considered ‘up-and-coming’ to some but nobody can do what she does and she knows it. This gives her the freedom of picking her projects so when Cynthia Rose Adams, a brash and sharp stage director, approaches her and tells her she’s doing an all-female production of Glengarry Glen Ross and has David Mamet on as a consultant, Stacie instantly says yes

Cynthia Rose has a clear and crisp vision and her production manager Flo is a dream to work with and Stacie’s looking forward to this project

She sits in the far-back of the theatre, hidden, during callbacks and starts sketching outfit ideas for each of the women as they read lines

They cast Levene (Cynthia Rose takes a chance on a new girl called Jessica Smith from Wisconsin), Aaronow (Emily Junk, theatre legacy who’s been in the business since a child on account of her mother), Moss (Ashley Jones who’s trying to make the jump from musical theatre to plays), Williamson (assertive Australian Amy Hobart who Stacie is quite honestly pretty excited about seeing on an American stage) and even the detective (Denise Walmsley, an unexpectedly stellar actress who’s only done off off Broadway plays)

There’s some backlash from some men’s rights groups so Cynthia Rose reluctantly casts Jesse Swanson as the sole male in their production and Stacie sniggers when Cynthia Rose ends up giving him the role of the weakest man (Lingk)

They still don’t have a Roma because Cynthia Rose has someone very specific in mind. Flo assembles her crew and Stacie’s excited to meet the people she’s going to be working with but Cynthia Rose still won’t tell her who’s going to be Roma and Stacie is starting to get impatient because she wants to finalise her looks to present to Cynthia Rose who apologises and says it’s all under wraps

When they do find out who’s playing Roma, Stacie has to reluctantly agree that Cynthia Rose had been right not to tell her because there is no way she could have kept that secret

Aubrey Posen hasn’t been in the business long, but the work she’s done has been phenomenal. Stacie hadn’t even known that Posen was up for grabs because of her residency as Blanche in A Streetcar Named Desire in London that’s earned her a Laurence Olivier award and okay, so maybe Stacie has a small crush

“Aubrey, this is Stacie Conrad, our costumier,” Cynthia Rose introduces them

“Nice to meet you, Stacie, I look forward to meeting the woman in charge of making me look good.”

“I can only make you look better than you already do,” Stacie says awkwardly and Cynthia Rose grins with surprise over Aubrey’s shoulder at Stacie but Aubrey just laughs softly and Cynthia Rose leads her over to the other crew members

“What was that?” Chloe teases and Stacie is mortified

“Nothing! Go back to ogling the set designer,” Stacie snaps at Chloe who laughs before walking away to talk to Beca

And, okay, Stacie is hot as hell and Aubrey has eyes but she also has a pretty strict rule about dating within a production and no matter how incredibly inviting Stacie’s boobs might be, Aubrey’s a professional. She knows Stacie has a crush on her so she’s a little mean on purpose just for the brunette to stop tempting her

Once they actually start working together, Stacie realises how absolutely Difficult™ Aubrey Posen can be and somehow, she ends up liking Aubrey even more (and has several “jesus christ Stacie what is wrong with you?” moments along the way)

“Measuring time, Posen,” Stacie calls out while Lilly plays with the measuring tape next to her

“I already sent in my measurements,” Aubrey says back, returns to her script

“I don’t care,” Stacie says but Aubrey completely ignores her so she gets up and walks over to Aubrey, ripping the pages from her hands.

“Hey!”

“We take fresh measurements, Posen, get over there,” Stacie says and the blonde is glaring at her but she does follow Stacie’s instructions and lets Lilly measure her as Stacie notes down the numbers

Lilly whispers something to Stacie who shakes her head. “No, just looking at her I can tell that she’s clearly not a 32, do it again please,” Stacie says to Lilly who measures Aubrey again and mumbles something to Stacie. “That’s more like it,” Stacie says with a nod, very aware of the glare being levelled at her by Aubrey

(okay, so maybe she’s being purposefully difficult as well because the measurements Aubrey had given them was correct, but Stacie really likes pushing Aubrey’s buttons)

Aubrey comes into the theater one day early for rehearsals and finds Stacie on the stage, fabric draped over her shoulder and singing some Adele song. She’s standing on a step to reach the curtain rods while she sings, and Aubrey doesn’t mean to sneak, but she stays as quiet as possible as she watches Stacie work and sing. Stacie finishes the song with a flourish as she hops off the step stool and Aubrey forgets that she’s trying to be sneaky and claps her hands and Stacie whirls around at the voice, a loud “AAH Fuck!” falling from her lips.

Aubrey laughs softly and walks closer, drops her bag on a chair in the first row. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“I thought I was alone.”

“You have a gorgeous voice.”

Stacie shrugs. “Thanks.”

“Why aren’t you on Broadway?” Aubrey asks and Stacie rolls her eyes

“We’re not all cut out for the stage,” Stacie says but Aubrey cocks her head inquisitively, arches an eyebrow and Stacie melts. “I’m a terrible actress.”

“Shame,” Aubrey says with a coy smile. “You certainly have the looks for it.”

“You been checking me out, Posen?”

“Hard not to when you always have enough fabric for our costumes but never for your legs,” Aubrey says offhandedly, referring to the short shorts that Stacie likes wearing, flipping through her script even though Stacie knows she’s known all her lines since the first rehearsal and it’s one of the first signs Stacie gets that Aubrey might actually like her back

The second happens during one of their fittings. Aubrey’s in a tight pencil skirt but there’s something off about the inside lining so Stacie’s frowning and staring at the skirt as she says, “I’m gonna put my hand under the skirt now, okay?” and Aubrey nods but when Stacie reaches up under the fabric, her fingers brush up between Aubrey’s thighs to tug down the loosened inside lining and Aubrey gasps loudly and Stacie’s gaze flicks up in surprise at the sound, finds Aubrey blushing bright red. “You okay?” Stacie says and Aubrey just nods, clears her throat and says “Fine.”

The third time, Stacie’s standing in her underwear in the dressing rooms when Aubrey comes in. “Oh, I’m sorry,” she says immediately, but she’s staring at Stacie’s body and Stacie doesn’t even have to suppress a smile because Aubrey is staring nowhere near her face. “It’s okay,” Stacie says but Aubrey’s breathing is stunted as her eyes trail down Stacie’s stomach and hips, linger on her underwear before looking further down at Stacie’s legs. Lilly urges Stacie to turn, so she does, grateful for the mirrors when she can keep watching Aubrey, sees as the blonde melts, biting her lower lip as she stares at Stacie’s butt. Lilly holds out a dress and Stacie steps into it and that’s what finally snaps Aubrey out of her staring and she’s blushing fiercely as Stacie turns to her while Lilly zips up her dress.

“You look nice,” Aubrey says and Stacie laughs because that’s an understatement coming from someone who just spent a good minute ogling her. “What’s that for?” Aubrey asks, moving further into the room and closing the dressing room door behind her as she puts her bag down on one of the tables

“Opening night,” Stacie says. “Do you like it?” Stacie twirls even though she hears Lilly grumble behind her and Aubrey’s caught in a daze again as she nods, watching Stacie

They’re two weeks away from previews and the flirting dies down considerably. Stacie has a million tiny things to do and Aubrey is super focused. There are still small moments, like when they do their first run-through in full costume and Stacie calls out “Roma!” and holds out the hanger with her outfit and Aubrey brushes her fingers against Stacie’s as she takes the hanger and softly says “Thanks for making me look good”

They go through two weeks of previews and lock down the final performance. Critics aren’t allowed to watch the previews but somebody leaks that the production is very good and suddenly they’re sold out for the first 3 weeks of the show. The opening night performance goes off without a hitch and the crew are all backstage celebrating with a few bottles of champagne afterwards when the actors come backstage. Before any of them can even reach for a glass, Stacie loudly says, “Costumes, please!” and everybody slinks towards their dressing rooms because the past two weeks have shown them just how relentless Stacie is with keeping the clothes in perfect form.

Aubrey comes off stage and Stacie knows how wired she gets, how intense she can be so she doesn’t take it personally when Aubrey sharply says, “Stacie, come with me,” and just follows the blonde to her dressing room. She takes it very, very personally when Aubrey pushes her up against the closed door and kisses her, unleashing all her pent-up adrenaline on Stacie. Stacie kisses her back, but then her hands brush against Aubrey’s hips and the fabric there and she pushes the blonde away from her

“Stop,” Stacie says but it comes out so breathless

“What?” Aubrey asks, face falling, suddenly regretting making a move because shit is going to get really awkward now, all because she’s grossly misinterpreted Stacie’s behaviour. She bites back tears as she pulls away, her adrenaline rush crashing fast as she says, “Stacie, I’m so sorry, I—”

“Take off your clothes,” Stacie interrupts and Aubrey’s getting whiplash from the sharp turns this conversation is taking

“What?”

“Strip.”

“Huh?”

“Aubrey, please take off your clothes before I rip them off you and ruin all my months of work,” Stacie says darkly and—

“Oh.”

Aubrey moves away from her as she untucks her blouse from her skirt and starts unbuttoning it, and Stacie stays pressed against the door as she watches Aubrey unzip her skirt and step out of it, hanging it up and then shrugging out of her blouse and draping it over the skirt. Aubrey drops down onto the couch and bends down to roll her thigh high stockings down her legs slowly. Once she’s done she stands up again and gestures to the garments draped over the chair. “Happy?”

“Clip,” Stacie says, points to Aubrey’s hair and the blonde smiles, bending down to look at herself in the mirror as she takes out the bobby pins and clip holding up her hair. Stacie’s eyes are drawn away from Aubrey’s legs when blonde hair tumbles down Aubrey’s back as she stands up straight. Stacie pushes off from the door and strides over to Aubrey, and the blonde barely has enough time to turn around before Stacie’s hands slide around her middle and pull her closer as she leans in to kiss Aubrey

And okay, Aubrey knows she has a rule about dating within a production, but it’s unfair how good Stacie looks in a black turtleneck and leggings and now that she knows how soft Stacie’s hair is all she wants to do is tug it free from the tight ponytail Stacie keeps it in during shows and run her fingers through the strands

When Aubrey tells Stacie that’s why she’d been so standoffish in the beginning, Stacie laughs and just kisses her harder

send me a Staubrey AU and i’ll tell you 5 of my headcanons for it

[werewolves-are-real]

Tentative first chapter of a modern-Temeraire AU, which is, naturally, Napoleon/Laurence

Present - 2005

French aircraft, like French warfare, has clearly made remarkable improvements in the brief reign of Emperor Bonaparte. Clouds slip under the plane's wings as the Dassault Falcon 60X ascends into the troposphere and levels out without a shiver.

Normally Laurence does not doubt that the dubious honor of escorting the French Emperor to these long-awaited peace talks would have fallen to a more senior officer, but he doesn't question his placement here today. One easy but prestigious milkrun before the Generals will have to hint – or outright tell him – that he won't ever fly in warzones again. Won't fly in any active actions. He will not regret the actions that have caused his new disrepute – the same actions that saved Temeraire's life, along with many others – but if he will be stripped of all use he may as well retire.

Laurence is only serving as co-pilot – an honor and social politeness of some sort that he does not fully understand – but the French pilot has been very curt with him. Not that this is unexpected; France has become very insular in recent years.

Laurence is pulled from his thoughts as the plane jerks and creaks alarmingly. He frowns; it's the first noticeable sound the thing has made all night after more than 1200 miles of flight from Moscow, where the Emperor has just finished another set of talks. All the gauges read normal, but the plane shudders and groans.

He glances at the pilot. “Is this normal for the model, Sir?” he asks. But the officer does not acknowledge him, and his eyes are hidden behind black glasses.

In a complete breach of protocol the cockpit door slides open. It takes Laurence a moment to comprehend the irritated French scold: “What are you doing up here?”

Laurence glances up and tries to recall his briefing. “Nothing at all, Minister Fouche,” he tells the foreign Minister of Intelligence.

“Then damn well fly the plane!”

Laurence curbs his reply as the craft trembles. “I believe something is wrong,” he says instead, and the man shifts at once from furious to alarmed.

Again Laurence glances at the pilot. “...Sir?” he prompts, and when there is no reply he wonders if the man has somehow fallen asleep. He reaches out and taps the pilot's shoulder.

The French pilot falls over.

Fouche swears, yanking the pilot from the seat and tearing off his glasses. Open, dead eyes stare up at them. “What did you do?” the minister hisses.

“Nothing, Sir - !”

The plane shivers again. Fouche glances rapidly between Laurence and the controls, then comes to a decision. “Well, fly this plane, then!” He drags the pilot away to make room; this is unfortunately impossible to hide, and from the passenger area a riot of muffled questions break through.

Laurence ignores them and switches seats. “Yes, Sir,” he acknowledges grimly.

Fouche hovers ominously and with increasing impatience as Laurence runs through the standard diagnostic checks. “Call Paris,” Fouche snaps finally. “My security team - “ and when he rattles off a frequency Laurence has to admit,

“All communications seem to be down.”

Fouche vanishes into the back of the plane. Laurence checks the board once more, grimly, and then finding no choice angles down the plane's nose.

The rattling begins in earnest, easily accompanying the sickening dip of an artless descent. The door opens again. “What now?” someone demands.

“We are landing.”

“We are in the middle of the North Sea, Captain Laurence!”

“We are equipped for a water landing, Sir, and I do not trust this trip to fly to England – unless you have a better proposal. I would also advise - “ Laurence finally glances at the other speaker and stiffens.

Napoleon Bonaparte glares back impatiently. He is not as short as the papers say, Laurence thinks distantly. “Well?” Bonaparte snaps.

“...I would advise,” Laurence says, “That Your Majesty use parachutes to evacuate the plane; if there has been subterfuge at all it is not unlikely the plane has been rigged to explode, especially as this would be the most convenient time since leaving Russia. If I am correct we may have little or no warning.”

“Parachutes. And I suppose there are enough for all my staff? No?” Bonaparte sees the answer on Laurence's face. “I will not be made a coward by some terrorist. You think you can land this plane?”

“I shall certainly try, Sir.”

“Do it; and we, meanwhile, will search for answers elsewhere.”

If asked, Laurence would say that the use of cell-phones on a plane – especially one as advanced as the Dassault Falcon 60X - is not likely to do much harm; warnings against phone-use are mostly a precautionary measure these days, and primarily used to limit radio interference anyway, which Laurence for whatever reason cannot access. Still, under the circumstances it is exasperating as it is understandable to slide open the door, glance back, and hear the entire French convoy shouting into their phones.

Fouche seems to be insulting his subordinates; a man Laurence might recognize as the Emperor's brother-in-law us speaks wincingly in a pidgin French and Italian, apologetic and consoling, while Napoleon's head of household, Duroc, speaks rapidly and lowly into two different devices.

The Emperor himself is the picture of grim efficiency, splaying out half a dozen folders and holding a monitor close to his mouth as the plane rattles to pieces around them. “No, no, what did we do to Madame du Maurier? I – well, that is true. But she forgave us, and anyway she does not have the heart for killing. Of course it was a damn French assassin, do not waste my time, that is why we brought one of our own planes! To avoid assassins! - No – No, shut up if you have no good ideas. Limit your search to people in Paris; it does not help us if you question some culprit half the world away in a month when we are dead – Yes, what?”

Laurence clears his throat. “I beg your pardon; you should all sit down and secure yourselves. We are about to land.”

The next few minutes are likely fraught with tension for Laurence's passengers, but he can spare them no thoughts. The plane seizes in protest of the changing atmosphere as they descend through a cloud-bank and come into view of the glittering sea.

The Royal Air Force makes stringent preparations for every contingency – her officers, too, are expected to be well-versed in all intricacies of flight. This being said, Laurence has never personally overseen a water-landing before, mostly because they are typically avoided at every cost.

The problem is that planes are, first and foremost, designed to land one way; if an aquatic landing even occurs something has already gone very, very wrong. The Dassault Falcon 60X, like most passenger aircraft, has a series of small wheels that can jut from the base of the plane's body when landing begins. The plane doesn't put its full force on these at once; for a few minutes it will touch down and essentially fly parallel to the ground, slowly skipping over the earth and letting the wheels absorb speed and traction.

Water does not absorb because it pulls. On water, the plane does not skip or help the plane gradually pull down. There is only one chance to skate the plane across the water, perfectly at angle, so it doesn't crash and topple – at least not until everyone has had a chance to evacuate. In normal conditions this arrangement shouldn't be horribly difficult; in ideal conditions, it shouldn't be required.

Laurence methodically closes the air-vents and all other openings to the plane, hoping to keep it buoyant. He tilts the plan at a slight angle, so the nose will remain high, and keeps the wings carefully level.

Blotches of foam and roiling blue water pound over the viewscreen as they slam into the sea, jerking, rising; the plane skids like a ten-ton pebble before plunging down and bobbing, for one long heart-beat, above the water.

Laurence holds his breath.

____________________________

1989

“What do the poor sods think they'll accomplish,” is what John wants to know. He gestures at the television with a grimace, shaking his head. On-screen the bottom text reads, Rioters barricade house of the French minister!

“They'll be arrested by tomorrow,” dismisses Augustine. “Political protest means nothing these days; peaceful tactics are useless, and violence like this - “Augustine gestures with disgust, “Only causes trouble. And then people criticize that you should try a nice boycott, instead...”

Laurence must admit that this sounds correct. But he says, “It is certainly a statement.”

“I can make statements too,” Granby says. “All kinds of statements. I prefer the kind that don't get people arrested or beaten up by jumpy cops.”

A loud wail comes from the other room; Augustine excuses himself after sharing a brief, despairing glance with John. “Iskierka has to stop crying eventually,” John says, half to himself. “She's just a baby. She will stop crying eventually.”

Laurence smiles faintly. “I have no doubt,” he lies. Glancing one more at the bloody scene on-screen, he says, “I am afraid it is late; give my best to Augustine.”

By the time Laurence leaves the house no one in France has been arrested; the live broadcast just shows continuous rioting, continuous tales of tragedy. The next morning dawns too early. He wakens and starts to pack, fully intending to head out to the bus station, ride in to base, and ready himself for briefing and deployment. The Royal Air Force has been deployed in Bosnia and his number is up.

But the bus won't be arriving for half an hour; he's already packed, so Laurence circles his small sitting room for awhile, plucking his satchel, then flicks on the television while he waits.

He stares for a moment at the revealed screen, and then sits down.

BBC news continues to broadcast in Paris. Row after row of dismembered corpses run across the screen.

A close-up. Louis Bourbon, the caption reads under one bloody head. Late Minister of France.

_____________________________

Present

If someone has tampered with the plane there's a new danger in every action Laurence performs – he's already instructed the convoy to touch nothing, and for once he appreciates the value in having politicians with military experience. A few of the aides look a bit wild-eyed, but everyone does precisely as he says. Even the Emperor.

(Laurence reminds himself that very, very few people have been executed since Napoleon's reign began. It's not particularly reassuring.)

The Emperor's brother-in-law is head of the Armee de l'Air; he comes forward and watches Laurence suspiciously for a few minutes before seeming satisfied. At last the risk must be taken. Laurence powers down the craft entirely. Suddenly the engine's ominous stuttering whirs to a halt; the only sounds which remain are the slow, empty crash of waves and the echoing ocean as they bob over a barren sea.

______________________________

1989

“And now the new Directory of the Republic of France will read the Declaration of the Rights of Man and of the Citizen - “

“They're turning into communists,” mutters Riley with disgust.

Laurence isn't sure. Some of the phrasing and rhetoric he has heard is a little disturbing (the French politicians over the radio keep calling each other 'citizen' and 'citizenyet' in a move eerily reminiscent of Stalinist Russia), but most of the Declaration sounds reasonable.

Of course, this Revolution started with a massacre; that isn't exactly a point in favor of the new French 'Directory'.

“I am afraid we are not in the best circumstances to judge,” Laurence says, and this his navy friend must concede.

The radio broadcast has monopolized attention throughout the compound, of course. There have already been mutters about a war in France, a war that would be much closer to home if the UK decided to intervene. Riley, Laurence and a few other naval and Air-Force officers have gathered outside the commissary to listen.

The reading of the Declaration is interspersed with cheers and shouts. Evidently the broadcast comes live from Paris. The reading does not last long, but after a pause, the broadcaster announces, “Eight people in hoods are now being led into the square, under guard – they're wheeling out a guillotine - “

Everyone waits, frozen.

“ - Oh. They're being put in the guillotines.” The broadcaster sounds a bit blank; in the background cheers rise, rise, blurring into static. “Their hoods are off – they - “

The broadcaster is drowned out by an explosion of shouting and screams.

And then her voice fades in, saying distantly, “Oh no. Oh no.”

______________________________

Present

“Completely helpless,” a man now identified as King Murat says to Laurence. Clinging to the sinking plane, and shivering in the water with everyone else, he does not look very regal in his borrowed life-jacket. “I do not like it, no; lost at sea, in this day and age! Good France will weep for our mysterious fates - “

“This is no fucking mystery,” Bonaparte says flatly. He throws his drenched phone at Murat, and it falls uselessly into the sea. “Fouche tells me a ship is coming from France; you will forgive me, Captain Laurence, if I do not care to journey the rest of the way by plane.”

_______________________________

1990-1998

France seems to exist in its own sphere outside time; no one inside appears bothered that the U.N. and NATO have both been called to investigate the conditions of post-Revolutionary France. As talks linger it surprises everyone when Italy unilaterally declares war.

It's an even greater surprise when France emerges victorious.

“Napoleon Bonaparte,” says Admiral Roland when the squadron sits down to talk about it, what it means. “Papers have been calling him the Little Gunner of Toulon, because apparently he shot down some of their own Frenchies during the Revolution. Ha! Now he's a symbol of France, and he's Corsican-born to boot.”

The little gunner – as though those guns weren't fully lethal, as though the empty bodies of dead civilians which lined up Paris' tiled streets don't still find their way across the covers of newspapers. Caricatures of the Corsican general depict him screaming 'Liberte!' while hulking troops shoot at rag-clothed women and children. The pictures don't do justice to the vividness of pictures and tapes smuggled across the channel, videos carefully posted in hidden corners of the emerging internet by defiant French loyalists. But despite this evidence it is not until the war of Italy that Bonaparte's name first makes international headlines.

When the war begins Bonaparte is not even a senior general, but somehow it's his name, again and again, that makes the news. And it's his voice the people hear when Italy cedes to France, in his name that peace is called; Bonaparte is a name that the common Frenchman knows, and loves.

And the Directory is stumbling.

______________________________

Present - 2005

Bonaparte's men put Laurence under watch as soon as they're aboard the Fraternite, which he can well understand. What shocks him is that the ship still proceeds to England.

“Sir,” he says when the Emperor visits him in his small berth; he has, at least, been spared the indignity of a cell, which is promising “Do you still intend to continue with the peace-talks?”

“Until I know if an Englishman tried to kill me? Yes. You will forgive this treatment, Captain, but precautions are necessary.”

Bonaparte does not sound apologetic at all.

“Of course,” Laurence agrees. “But if I may – ought I not report these events to my commanders?”

“No. We would prefer to arrive and take events as they occur.”

“England will already know that something has happened to the plane, your Majesty.”

“Yes – but of the whole world, only those on this ship know everything. For the moment.”

Well, everyone does say that Bonaparte likes to attack by surprise.

______________________________

1999

France's finances deteriorate; crime rises; trade and insularity hurt the economy while widespread hunger, nearly as severe as the poverty that struck under the old Ministerial regime, begins to take hold. “At least we have freedom,” say French citizens, desperately, when bold foreign reporters dare to sneak into the country for interviews. But the world expects another change, another tipping point; what is freedom with an empty belly?

Napoleon Bonaparte decides to address the Council of 500.

How curious, news stations proclaim – its only a vague note of interest, made slightly more interesting because Napoleon's brother, Lucien Bonaparte, is president of France's new legislative body. But half of Europe sits up when Bonaparte is ejected from the council - as General Murat's troops storm the building, eject the democratically-selected legislators, and leave behind a bare committee who dissolve the reigning Directory under Lucien's direction.

Every television station in France shows one clip on repeat – a man inside the House brandishing a dagger through the air, hand jolting toward Napoleon's heart amidst a yelling mob of politicians. The shot is blown up from every angle.

Outside France, they show the now-defunct legislators being run down by mobs on the streets of Paris. The mobs are frenzied in defense of the new Consul. “Good god,” says an English news anchor, taken so aback that his professionalism falters. “Will they kill anyone for that madman – why do they love him so much?”

_____________________________

Present - 2005

“Well,” sighs Admiral Roland. “There is no saving you now – I cannot imagine a better scapegoat, nor a more willing one. What was that report, Laurence? Possibly due to negligence in checking equipment - “

“It is a possibility that must be considered,” Laurence says.

“It is entirely inaccurate. The French made the plane, the French checked the equipment - you were just accompanying them over as some ridiculous diplomatic courtesy and still you manage to take the blame. And despite rumors, my power is not unlimited. I can't save you when you're so damnably determined to hang yourself.”

“I would like no such thing. But we both know,” Laurence says, “That my career in the Royal Air Force is over.”

Roland scowls. “Not by any fault of your own,” she says at last. It's the first time she has openly supported his decision; Laurence appreciates, also, that she will not lie to him with false denials. “But you do not have to make it so easy to blame you, Laurence. You do not deserve this.”

“I do,” he says, and means it. “That is enough, Admiral, I promise you.”

_____________________________

2001

Within a week of his reign First Consul Bonaparte makes overtures to half a dozen major world powers, including the UK and Russia. There are no similar appeasements for the broken remnants of Italy, a handful of scattered papal states left under loose French control.

Bonaparte is painted as a military genius, a tyrant, a madman. But the image won't quite stick: he's accomplishing too much, and Britain dithers over a reply to his offer even as the Russians begin negotiating for a firmer peace treaty.

The franc has stabilized the French currency, and despite disparate beliefs members of every political party in France applaud Napoleon's educational reforms, his modernization of the financial system, the newer and simplistic bureaucracy that has already been a relief to average citizens. Religious minorities praise the protection of his Organics Act even as he somehow makes successful overtures to the Pope – an especially impressive feat considering that Marie Antoinette, famed socialite and late wife of France's previous minister, was sister to the previous Holy.

Despite ongoing tensions over the Revolution, Napoleon himself is a figure of contradictions and debate. He becomes hard to criticize. Then in 2004 a news black-out, which is nothing strange for this new France, blocks information about the reborn country for a full six days. Finally the drama leaks that there's been an assassination attempt on Napoleon himself.

And, suspecting old supporters of the Bourbons were responsible, Napoleon responds like this: he arranges to have Minister Louis' cousin, the Duke of Enghien, kidnapped in the dead of night, brought to Paris, and shot before anyone notices his absence.

______________________________

“What do you mean he is to blame,” Bonaparte asks.

Laurence sighs a little. This farce will be terrible enough, but he did not realize he would be personally interrogated by the French Emperor. “Plainly Mr. Laurence did not sufficiently check his plane,” says Admiral Croft. “In light of that negligence - “

“Someone tried to kill me and you fib like a child,” Bonaparte accuses. “You are not even in the Air Force, Admiral. Captain Laurence. Do you personally check your plane before each flight?”

Laurence is forced to admit, “I run the systems through the computer, and conduct basic safety tests, but engineers on-base are responsible for general maintenance.”

“Yes. So. What did you do?”

“I beg your pardon?”

“What did you do that your superiors are so quick to see you destroyed?”

_______________________________

2005 – Two Months Previous

“You'd think someone would know,” John complains. He gestures at the television, currently broadcasting yet another rundown of the situation in France. “'More information as it is uncovered' – that means they don't know anything... Iskierka, no.”

Iskierka looks entirely unfazed but leaps back when Temeraire eyes her suspiciously. She drops her paintbrush on the carpet (Laurence sighs) and begins tearing apart her paper instead.

He needs a bigger sitting room. One with a divider, perhaps, so when Iskierka visits she and Temeraire don't need to look at one another.

They were somewhat kinder to each other when Temeraire was still sick.

“I can't imagine that anyone will know when Napoleon is arriving until he's already in the country,” Augustine says. “I mean, he has his supporters even here, but he's just as likely to be shot as anything else.”

“Or his plane could get mysteriously lost,” John says darkly. “Save everyone some trouble.”

Laurence shifts uncomfortably. This hits a little too close to home.

He hasn't told anyone about his next assignment – his last assignment - for obvious reasons. In six weeks he'll be heading to Moscow to be drilled in security protocols, briefed by the French ambassador there, and instructed about the Dassault Falcon 60X to help transport the French diplomatic party, including Napoleon himself, back to Britain. The concession of a British co-pilot was meant to be a symbolic gesture; to Laurence it feels not only useless but potentially disastrous. He's been studying his French furiously since being given the assignment.

“You've been quiet,” says John suddenly. “What do you think of this nonsense, Will? You usually won't stop talking about politics.”

Laurence clears his throat. “We had peace three years ago,” he says. “I see no reason we cannot have it again; I hope only that this new resolution can be more lasting.”

“That treaty didn't last a year,” John complains. “And then Napoleon got himself crowned Emperor; an Emperor in Europe, like this is the Middle Ages. Anyway, that's not what you usually say.”

“I will always support the prospect of peace,” Laurence protests.

“You're usually a bit more cynical about actually getting it, though.”

“He is a soldier,” says Augustine dryly.

“I think we are quite due for a peace; there has been very little fighting on land between our two countries, and neither nation should wish for that. France and England are close enough to do great damage to one another in this day and age.”

“Piss poor time to be in the navy,” John agrees. “But you know Napoleon would attack us by land; he's done it to Spain and Italy. I'm more surprised he hasn't tried, really.”

“We have not yet provoked him sufficiently – that is the only, the sole reason for his restraint. If we are to prevent such war we must find peace; I do believe we could win such a war, but the costs would be too great.”

“I can agree with that,” Augustine says. “And even aside from the risks of war, peace would be wonderful; all this fear is awful. And I'm tired of seeing planes patrolling overhead, like we're going to get attacked any second – I'm sure this isn't what you imagined when you joined the RAF, Laurence.”

“That matters little enough. I will be finding something else soon.”

“Damn you will,” John snaps. “They're idiots if they fire you - “

“I will not be fired,” says Laurence wryly. “ - I am lucky not to be court-martialed, rather; it has been considered. It is still being considered. I had best resign now while I still can. This is all for the best, John, I promise you.”

“At least you'll have more time with Temeraire,” Augustine says when John looks mutinous. “Gong Su is a good man, but Temeraire will be thrilled to have you in England permanently, Laurence. You only have one more trip, do you not?”

“Yes,” Laurence agrees.

And what he'll do after that, he has not the least idea.

______________________________

Present

“I see,” says Bonaparte when Croft continues to sputter. Laurence looks away. “Very well; be assured I shall find out. If you want him cast away so badly that is all well and good. I will hire Mr. Laurence, then, and he will not be your concern any longer.”

“What?” asks Admiral Croft.

“What?” demands Laurence.

[whichoneisme]

A journal entry of ramblings

Monday Aug 13 2018 The day started as usual, with teleworking. Rolling out of bed at 5:45 am and trudging upstairs in a haze of sleep. It was a day like most, except I had computer issues. And that’s fine. It didn’t bother me much. This evening, is it down with music and vomit words. Anything. Everything, to get some understanding of what is going on in my head. The book I am reading “ Healing from Developmental Trauma” by Laurence Heller, is a phenomenal resource. My mind rests on each word as though it will somehow be my savior. Hope floods my heart when I open the book, and then as I read, my brain kicks in. Will this even help? I have already had years of therapy, what am I actually grasping for? Am I broken? What does “fixed” look like? I sit down with the book. I tap into my body, my mind, and then, my feelings. Like a long lost friend who only brings huge surges of emotion, overwhelming me with the simple idea of them. The thoughts kick in again. This is hopeless. I need coffee. I should be doing ( name anything else)

My minds capacity to avoid that which could prove it wrong,protecting  the defense mechanism I have created, as no longer needed.The false world of identification I have created. The lies I have told myself. Lies to keep me down. I was my own oppressor and I could see  it now. I was finally seeing my mind, my thoughts , my reactions as they were. A child lost in trying to make things that hurt feel good. Twisting things to take control.

Because……. The truth was so much more frightening. But it wasn’t anymore. Now there was compassion. I have all the resources I need in me. I was overflowing with power and all I had to do was get out of the way.

Turn my heart from bitter to smooth and sweet. More like, find the honey by simply stirring.  

So here I am. Writing. Flayed open and looking at the wounds with love, compassion and understanding.

The shift is subtle and overwhelming at the same time.

But it is so worth it.

Looking back on the way I used to respond to things, and how I am starting to come at the same issues with a different perspective is so refreshing, and is what I start to think about when I start looking down the hole of depression.

Lately, I have started listening to hypnosis to increase my self esteem, and the impact for me has been really big. I feel more relaxed, and creative, like the positive perspective is more of a default state and not something I have to fight tooth and nail to get to( let alone keep)

And maybe, maybe, that is my fundamental issue is I do not know who I am and ultimately…..what I am capable of.

Next month I will be going to a city by myself overnight to do just that. Find myself. Find my strength, my needs, my wants……..being around others, as an Empath, I suck myself into them. I yearn to help them be happy, to be useful to them, to ease their pain. Because it hurts me too. I vacillate between shutting myself off from people and throwing myself into their lives uninvited. And then getting no nourishment from what they give me( as I fight the belief that I am not worthy of the love they give or that someday they will come asking for something I cannot give them back) But, I have learned, love isn’t tit for tat and giving without receiving isn’t pride, or martyrdom. It’s stupid. And disprespectful of the love people offer. It hinders the balance of flow.

I digress. The city.

I try not to think too hard about it. My mind wants something to focus , no , ruminate unnecessarily on. There is nothing to prepare for. Nothing to control. I will let the trip lead me to where I need to go. I trust myself to get me where I want to be. I trust myself. Another lesson of mental health. I never felt secure or safe. And it wasn’t because of the environment was in, but because of the thoughts in my head that I kept listening to. I eventually started to tell myself I was safe, but only started to believe it when I started to take care of my own needs ( which also means listening and identifying what those needs are) and then taking care of them without asking for permission. Trusting . Trusting that I could and would take care of myself. Trusting that I would say no when I wanted to, say yes when I wanted to and walk away when I felt the need.

No more concern about what someone else might think about me.  

[gwenore]

College Days. Chapter 5.

Chapter 5: Strickler and Jim has a talk, Strickler having started to worry about the young teenager. 

Summary; Barbara often thinks back to the last day she saw her college friend Walter. About how they went to a party together… and what happened after, something she still is not sure was real. But she is not prepared when she sees him again at the parent/teacher conference all these years later.

Jim’s  flinched as once again the thunder of the canons rang out from the school speakers in history class. Why on all days would Mr. Strickler chose this one to go though advancements in warfare in from the French revolution to today? It didn’t even really follow from last weeks lesson.

His head was thumping and aching like it had never done before. Fair enough his mom’s cooking tended to be bad... even awful... but how on earth did she manage to screw up jello? And to this degree?

It was sort of impressive in its own right. They had tasted perfectly fine... which was what made him continue to eat them. All the sudden he was feeling weird, light headed and... relaxed. Like... nothing really mattered.

Jim could not remember how long it had been since he had felt so relaxed. With everything that had been going on at home... with school... not to mention...

He cast a glance down at his bag where he could see a faint shimmer.

He remember wanting to feel even better he just continued eating them. All the sudden he felt sick and rushed for the toilet. Or... that was what he seemed to remember... after everything was a blur... or perhaps a dream. His mom came home and... Mr. Strickler? That was rather confusing. He had meant about asking his mom about it, but she had a very early shift at the clinic and wasn’t there when he woke up. But there was a note on the table which said that he could stay home if he wasn’t feeling well... which was rather odd...

However when the sound of a loud air horn rang out the youth’s thoughts were rather painfully disrupted.

Mr. Strickler then mercifully shut off the video and switched on the lights... which was... less merciful...

“Alright... class dismissed, and keep in mind the assignment I handed out last week is due next Wednesday. Now you cannot say that I have not given you a notice,” he said as he waved his hand, classroom filling with sounds about students packing their things and moving out from the room... Strickler already knowing that he would get several complains about him not reminding them about the assignment.

Sometimes human stupidity could really astonish the changeling. Even in all the years he had dealt with them... he thought he would no way he was able to surprise him... they somehow managed to. It was enough to give him a headache.

Slowly he turned to see Jim lagging behind, rubbing his head.

“Mr. Lake, how about you come with me to my office,” he sad as he started to wander out. Jim simply sigh but followed him down the hall to his office where he pulled out a plastic cup filling it with some water, and handed him some painkillers.

“I am impressed you would even show up to school tonight after the night you had...” he said as he offered the teenager a seat. Jim furrowed his brows in confusion, before the realization hit him.

“You were there last night!” he exclaimed.

“Ah, I wondered if you would remember, but yes indeed I was there. Me and your mother... we were catching up on the old college days, only to come back to find someone having eaten all the jello-shots,” Strickler said as he sat himself in his chair.

“Jello-shots?” the teen question.

“Jello, but with vodka instead of water. A very... deceptive concoction,” Strickler made a slight wave of his hand. “Take your medicine, young Atlas, you will feel better.”

Jim did, the water honestly doing him a world of good on its own, Strickler filling it up for him right away, encouraging him to keep drinking.

“Seems like you are a bit hung over... you really did not realize?” he had to ask.

“I just thought it was mom’s attempt to make something and it went horribly wrong somewhere,” Jim admitted, rubbing his head.

“It was jello... why would you believe you would get this sick from jello?” the changeling had to ask.

“Mr. Strickler... when you knew my mom in college... did you ever try any of her cooking?” Jim slumped back in his chair.

“Cannot say that I did, no,” Strickler furrowed his brows slightly.

“Well... if you ever did... you wouldn’t be that surprised that she could screw up jello... which she technically did by putting vodka in it...” Jim grumbled as he looked towards the clock. “Oh no... I have PE...”

“Stay here, I will inform coach Laurence about you feeling a bit under the weather,” the history teacher informed the student.

“So... now you are helping me skip class?” Jim asked with a raised brow.

“Well... I do feel at least partially responsible for your state this morning... it is the least I could do,” the teacher informed him.

“Wait... since you know about... was that the reason for that... particular lesson?” Jim asked with a slight accusation towards the older man.

“Well... I thought there needed to be some kind of consequence. Those jello-shots were made for me after all,” he chuckled softly towards him. Jim rolled his eyes, even if he was very grateful to not have to do any form of exercise. He was certain that his breakfast would make an reappearance if he had to move any faster than a brisk walk.

“I am not really certain if I should thank you or not...” he murmured slightly.

“Hm... well, I suppose that is fair,” Strickler let out a soft chuckle.

“So... how long have you known my mother?” Jim asked curiously. It was still a great surprise to him to that his teacher and his mom knew each other. He had never met someone from his mother’s past before moving to Arcadia.

“Well... we simply met in college. I however had to return to England within the first semester of us being at the same college. I left rather abruptly, not having the time to say goodbye,” Strickler explained.

“So... wasn’t phones invented when you were in college?” Jim asked, causing his teacher to raise an brow at him.

“Either you have no clue when the phone was invented or believe me to be centuries old. As your history teacher I am not what would be more offensive,” Strickler rolled his eyes... not mentioning to the boy that he was in fact hundreds of years old. “Though... I did not know her last name, so finding her phone number... which I did not have... would be near impossible. Unlike you and your peers, we did not carry means of communication everywhere we went, and even access to such information was not as easy as typing words into a search engine.”

Jim shrugged his shoulders slightly.

“So... you and my mom did not date... did you?” the mere thought seemed to weird out the teenager.

“No... we did not get that far,” Strickler muttered.

“Good...” Jim said as he let out a sigh. The fact that his mom had dated his history teacher was not something that the teenager needed in his life. Not like it was not complicated enough. The changeling let out a soft laugh, however he noted how exhausted the teenager was. Sure... most of it could be blamed on the teenager being hung over, but... there had been several days now that he had seen the young man having been distracted in class... falling asleep more than once.

While mostly it was a sign of someone staying up to late playing games or being out... Strickler had a feeling this was not the case here. He had already nicknamed the teenager young Atlas... not without reason.

It seemed like he really had the whole world on his shoulders. A burden which was more than any adult could handle, and though Strickler suspected that the teenager would show quite the bit of ire upon hearing this... Jim was still just a child.

“Is something bothering you, young Atlas?” now the teacher’s voice had become more serious, rather than the jovial one not long ago.

“No... I am fine... just a bit hung over apparently...” the teen murmured.

“It was not what I was referring too. You have seemed rather distracted... far more than usual in fact. I hope you are not taking on too much,” he spoke softly. “Taking a break is fine.”

“But what if you can’t?” Jim asked.

“Is this about your mother? I am certain that she will be able to manage herself she is a grown woman after all,” Strickler leaned forward, putting his elbows on his desk. Jim shook his head.

“No... it isn’t her. She is a bit busy at the hospital, but she has been trying to cut down her hours... it can still be busy, but...” Jim hesitated.

“That is something you are used to now isn’t it?” Strickler paused as Jim nodded his head.

“So... there is something new that is weighing down on your shoulders? You know you can always speak to me,” Strickler attempted to assure the youth. Again he could see hesitation in those blue eyes. In truth Strickler had trouble imagining what it could be. Jim was a good boy... far better than most adults, and used to handle a lot of pressure. Of course everyone had a breaking point, but Jim seemed rather happy for the most part with his busy life. He wasn’t the most popular, but he had close friends and seemed to be doing alright. His grades were decent and he did not get into trouble.

But it was clear that it was something going on.

“Um... it is just... something has happened recently...” Jim started. Strickler remained silent, waiting for him to continue.

“I just... I cannot really tell you... it just...” Jim continued slightly. “I just feel... a bit overwhelmed lately...”

Strickler let out a sigh, before he nodded.

“Just know this young Atlas... at times... we need to be selfish. You need too look after yourself, because if you do not, you are not good to anyone,” Strickler attempted to give him some advice. “Even if others may not like it, you at times need to make the choice that is best for you.”

Jim thought for a while before he nodded, giving the older man a slight smile.

“Thank you Mr. Strickler.”

“No worries. Now just head home, I will make a note that you were sick after my class, so you do not need to worry. Go home and get some sleep,” Strickler said as he stood up from his chair. “Are you certain you can get home safe? I could drive you.”

Jim shook his head.

“I am alright... I made it to school after all, the way home should be no problem,” he assured his teacher as he stood up. Strickler nodded his head.

“As you wish young Atlas, take care of yourself now, and I will see you tomorrow,” he said as he stood up, opening the door for his student.

“Tomorrow Mr. Strickler...” Jim smiled as he walked out the door and towards home.

[outinthewastes]

Diary Part 2

A sequel to Part One, which I put up earlier this morning

April 18th

Working with Krow is... challenging. He's whiny and petulant but also overeager to please. He constantly needs to be told he's doing a good job. I've been tempted to hit him just to get him to shut up when he repeatedly asks how he's doing.

He is doing an okay job, but good god man. Good god, shut up. I am not your father figure or friend or lover or whatever it is he wants from me. Get your validation elsewhere.

It's especially hard to not become violent when he gets on the topic of women. I wouldn't call myself a feminist, but jesus lord, just listening to him is really swaying me to the cause. Disgusting little wretched man. He's in here for good reason.

He thinks I'm going to help him escape, too.

I don't know what I'm going to do when the time comes, but there's no way I could, in good conscience, allow him to escape with me. I may have to do something drastic.

Somehow I don't think Jacob will disagree.

Well, I've got time to consider this. It's going to take us a while more to collect enough stuff for this. I am not, by nature, a patient man, but I will have to just deal with it.

June 20th

It has taken, seemingly, a lifetime to finally assemble enough packages for this operation. An agonizing process slowed by the fact that we only get a few hours of free time a day, and the guards are constantly flipping random cells for contraband. I almost got caught a few times.

Someone carved this scary looking face into the wall behind my pillow long before I got here. So, I slowly chipped away at it myself until the drywall came loose. Behind that I carved another small hole. Not very big, but big enough to hide things. And the little mouth shaped drywall I could place back and no one could hardly tell what I'd done. Not without really looking it over. And the guards aren't THAT thorough.

Almost ready.

July 5th

We've planted the packages at key points throughout the facility. Well. the parts we have access to.

Tonight's the night.

July 7th

A lot went down yesterday. Where to even start.

Jacob betrayed me. Sold me out. Good thing I never fully let him in on the plans, so he didn't know where all the bombs were. Never fully trusted him, anyway. Still, hate to have that distrust validated.

I didn't expect Phineas to come through at all. I hate the idea of owing him anything. I hope I never see him again.

Krow's dead. Big loss. Was still a bit traumatizing to see. He probably deserved it, but... I don't know. I think the thing that bothered me the most about Krow was how similar we were. We both had the same fucked up childhood. Isolated, domineering mothers, unpopular in school. Maybe he was just born broken or something, though. It would never have occurred to me to hurt anyone. Not like that. I guess I should stop thinking about it. If only I could...

The man who rescued us. I knew him. He was that agent that hassled me in my lab. before. Before... That thing I did. I thought he was a government agent. But apparently not.

We've flown out to Virginia. I would like to crawl into a nice bed and sleep for a week. but first I would like to have a shower that lasts about two days.

July 14th

Met with intimidating smoke man's boss. Smoke man's name is Abel. Boss's name is Thanatos. No, really.

My grandfather. They didn't want me, they want my grandfather. Like I fucking know anything about the dude. But they want to sneak me into Chicago to see him. I guess they think he'll see me and do as they say out of familial nostalgia? Heh, wrong family for that, man. If he gave a shit about me at all he wouldn't have left me alone all those years with Gloria. Wouldn't have ruined the family name by being a big psycho. Well, whatever, they're paying me enough. It's just one night out of my life. He's probably not even alive anymore. How could he possibly be?

Oh!

Most importantly. I can't believe it. I saw Laurence. He was sitting outside the building when I finished up my meeting.  Was he just there by coincidence or was he waiting for me? It was interesting talking to him again. We fell back into the same kinda... roles. the same brotherly bond. Joking and teasing. Talking about movies and music. We didn't really talk at all about what we'd been doing these past decades. It was like we didn't need to. We're just in tune with each other.

This is the best I've felt in a very long time.

We went to a close by diner. He had some big nasty sandwich and I had a big plate of fries and he made fun of how I eat and it was just so nice. I really missed him. I knew I did, but I didn't realize how much. It was like there was a part of me missing for a long time. I think things are looking up! Surprisingly enough! He works for Thanatos. Maybe all this shit was almost worth it... heh. Nah. That's crazy.

We exchanged numbers. I'll have to call him when I get back in town.

July 19th

I don't know.

I don't know what to think.

August 22nd

I mean where do I even...

Opa was alive. Sort of. I think he did something to himself so he wouldn't die in that place. I don't think he's human anymore. That city was awful. Caked with fungus. Moist and slimy, shit floating in the air. Hard to breathe through that mask.

And Orville. The things he did. He made me do.

I don't even know what to write about any of it. I don't know who to talk to. No one would understand. Those kids. They were just kids. Why would he make me do that? Every time I think about them I'm just flooded with all these intense memories. They aren't mine. And I can't make sense of them. They're just rattling around in my head contradicting each other and I really shouldn't know what it's like to have a period or learn to drive stick or grow up black or have sex with a man... or all these things. And I still don't because I can't process these memories!! It's like a movie I'm watching but I can't look away and also I'm IN IT but NOT IN IT, and the more I try to think about it the more I feel horrible and wrong and if I don't stop I'm going to throw up some more and I've been doing that enough today. And APPARENTLY I'm not real, I mean, like, everything in my life is just weird fake bullshit, grown in a lab, my entire destiny guided by a madman. I don't know!!

I wish I could still drink. Would it really be so bad? I could just... one time. Or perhaps some weed would be the better choice. It might make it worse, though... Aghfffk

Thanatos and Abel can go to hell. I don't care how much they paid me. It wasn't worth it. One last meeting and they can fuck off forever.

I feel ruined.

August 24th

Got the meeting over with. Got the rest of my payment. Look who's a millionaire now, it's this boy. Well. I was already one. But. Now I'm double one. ha ha. Whatever.

I don't feel as bad today as I did yesterday, but I'm still pretty pissed off about his whole rotten year. Met an interesting girl. More on that later.

In lieu of my grandfather they're now targeting some guy I don't know at all, so I'm off the hook. Although...

Opa said something about that man being responsible for my father's death. Which is intriguing. I'd always assumed my mother drove him to kill himself. She almost drove me there a few times, so, you know, it fit. But.

So now I can't stop thinking about this guy. I'm obsessing. I know, it's stupid. I should let it go. But I can't.

Oh.

Laurence screamed at me. I forgot how mad he gets... Can't say I didn't deserve it...

We were at his house. We did actually do the catching up thing this time. Everything about this time felt weirder, awkward. He seemed testy at me from the start. Now I know why. He found out about Janet and me. His sister. He thinks I abandoned my kid, Janet abandoned ME. But I don't want to argue with him about it... But she's the one who left...

Now I'm definitely feeling that decade long gulf between us. Sucks.

[gracewithducks]

Our Holy Little Lives (Faith at the Movies: Little Women) - preached 1/19/2020

Movie Summary (spoilers – but if you don’t know the basics of Little Women 150 years after the story was published, I think it’s a bit late for spoiler warnings!): Little Women is based on Louisa May Alcott’s novel of the same name, and tells the story of four sisters coming of age in the 1860s. Their father is serving as a chaplain in the Civil War, so their wise and patient mother heads the household. The four sisters each have unique personalities: from oldest to youngest, they are Meg, who’s beautiful and traditional; Jo, who rejects tradition, longing to be independent and a writer; Beth, the peacemaker of the family; and Amy, the youngest, who loves art and longs to be rich. The family starts a friendship with their rich neighbor and his grandson, Theodore Laurence, whom they call “Laurie.” Meg falls in love with and marries Laurie’s tutor; Jo refuses Laurie’s marriage proposal and instead goes to New York City in search of adventure. Amy travels to Europe with the girls’ wealthy maiden aunt, while Beth’s health fails back at home. Before her death, Beth begs Jo to keep writing stories for her. Jo realizes she longs to love and be loved, and second guesses her refusal to marry Laurie – only to discover that Laurie has married her youngest sister, Amy. Jo ends up falling in love with a professor she met in New York City, who encouraged Jo to push herself beyond writing fantastical stories and instead capture the beauty of real life.

  As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha��opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said.  But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” (Luke 10:38-40)

   I always hated Amy March.

 Maybe it’s because I was the youngest in my family, too, so I saw a little too much of myself in Amy, the youngest sister, desperate to stand out, longing for attention and a chance to outperform her older siblings.

 But I always detested Amy March. The four sisters are each unique: there’s Meg, the oldest, smart and sensible; there’s Jo, fearless and bold – often to the point of foolishness; there’s Beth, the shy sister who sits quietly in the background and asks why everyone can’t just get along – and then there’s little Amy, whiny selfish Amy, fiercely and relentlessly ambitious Amy.

 The March family is far from wealthy; though they do get glimpses of neighbors who are much worse off, they also live in the shadow of their rich neighbor’s estate, and more often than not, the family goes without. And so Amy is bound and determined that she won’t be poor forever; she is going to be a rich woman, no matter who she has to marry to get there.

 Amy is vain, perhaps because she knows her beauty is her one greatest asset in capturing a rich husband; she yearns to be popular in school, and she hates being left behind. So when her older sisters leave her behind to go out for an evening of fun, Amy yells, “You’ll be sorry!” – and then with anger and intention, she takes her older sister Jo’s masterpiece, her handwritten manuscript, the novel into which she’s poured her heart and soul over many sleepless nights – Amy takes Jo’s one precious labor of creative love, and she burns each page away.

 The sisters get in an actual rolling-on-the-floor, fists-flying and hair-pulling fight that night. And when Mike and I watched that scene – both sisters sobbing with anger, both sisters certain she was the one who’d been done wrong – when we watched those sisters yelling and rolling and fighting, I looked at my husband and said, “Isn’t it nice to know that sisters are the same in every generation? Some things just never change!”

 No matter what age we live in, we fight most passionately – and hurt most deeply – the people whom we love most dearly. Maybe it’s a simple matter of proximity. Maybe it’s because we reserve our civility for those people we can keep at an arm’s length. Or maybe it’s because deep down we believe that love will persevere – they say that’s why children will behave beautifully for teachers and neighbors and strangers, but as soon as their parent shows up, everything goes off the rails… the experts say it’s because our children know they’re safe with us; they can let their guard down, and let their sadness or anger or exhaustion show, and they know we’ll still love them, no matter what.

 Maybe. But – when we’re honest – there are plenty of days when we make it hard to love each other. And that’s what happened for the March sisters the night Amy threw Jo’s masterpiece in the fire. Even when she repents and apologizes, weeping, the damage is done, and Jo proclaims, “She doesn’t deserve my forgiveness. I hate her. I’ll never forgive her. Never.”

 It’s only later – only after Amy chases after her older sister, begging for forgiveness, her cries falling on deaf ears until the splash, until Amy falls through the ice and nearly drowns in a frozen lake – it’s only later that Jo relents, rushing to her sister, pulling her to dry land, wrapping her in Jo’s own warm dry clothes, and forgiving her at last. Jo realizes, in that moment, just how quickly things can change; she realizes that even more important than irreplaceable manuscripts are irreplaceable people. Jo realizes what matters most – and, as she later says to a grown-up Amy, “Life’s too short to stay mad at your sister.”

 And I know that Jo is right – I spend my whole life talking about grace after all. But I’m not sure I’d be so quick to forgive. I never really liked Amy to begin with, and this whole scene especially reveals just how selfish and ungrateful she can be. And I know, in my rational mind, that people are always more important than things. But still, the heart struggles to forgive sometimes.

 I never could stand Amy. Then again – and this may be close to blasphemy – but I never really liked any of the March sisters. I loved their story; I loved to visit their chaotic little household, but the sisters themselves had a way of getting on my nerves. There’s Meg, who gives in to peer pressure when the rich girls adopt her as their pet… and who rather enjoys playing the part, until she gives into pressure from the neighbor-boy to put her airs away. And Meg is always just a little bit too earnest, too good; she gives up her own dreams for the sake of love.

 Then there’s Beth, who never really has many dreams or much of a voice, just meekly letting the story pass her by – Beth, the one whose own sisters even think she’s just a bit too good to be true.

 And even Jo, the plucky heroine who bucks tradition, clinging to her independence, determined to keep her voice and make her own way – even Jo ends up compromising, giving up her freedom to marry in the end. Jo made me furious growing up: she is so determined not to marry that she breaks the heart of the neighbor-boy, turning down his proposal, even though he would have been such a perfect match… but then all of the sudden she changes her mind and marries anyway, marrying somebody else whom we, the audience, hardly get to know or have any chance to approve. Sure, I could make an argument that the whole arc of Jo’s story, the essence of her character, is that she doesn’t give in to other people’s opinions of what her life should be – she won’t be pressured into compromising her choices just to meet someone else’s expectations, so perhaps it only makes sense that she doesn’t care whether I approve of her decisions, either.

 Maybe. But my goodness, it was always just so annoying to watch this fiercely independent woman throw her whole personality away.

 So that’s the family: four irritatingly flawed sisters, and their mother – Marmee, who’s more than just a little bit too good, Marmee who bravely heads the family while father is away, Marmee who believes in educating her daughters to be independent women, who teaches them not just ambition but compassion for their neighbors, Marmee who is infinitely patient with her wild girls and somehow always knows the very right and perfect thing to say.

 It’s altogether a bit too much – which is, I think, why I appreciated this newest telling of the March family story. This film humanizes the March family and, in many ways, redeems them. Instead of saccharine perfection, wise words and quick forgiveness, we see more of the conflict and chaos. We catch glimpses of the struggle that patient Marmee faces when she confesses that she is angry every single day. We see that Meg, who achieves the perfect domestic little life, who pledged that she’d rather marry a poor man for love than anyone else – Meg marries her poor man for love, but still is the young woman who loves fine things, and struggles at times to be content. Beth the wallflower becomes a bit bolder, more of an actor in her own story, and in many ways the thread that holds the others together, even after her death. And we see a Jo who doesn’t forget herself for a man, but who instead clarifies her own priorities – and chooses to live, in her own ambiguous way, happily ever after.

 But most of all, we get to meet a kindler, gentler Amy. We see Amy not as a spoiled brat but Amy who’s lonely and longing to be loved. We meet an Amy who has grown up in the shadow of hardship and war, of poverty and death, and who is desperately afraid she will die unimportant, unnoticed, that she will die without ever really getting a chance to live. And we meet an Amy whose marriage, in the end, is not so much a greedy manipulation but is an extension of her love for her family, and her grief, and her longing to be loved for herself, and the pressure she’s always felt to be the one who finds a way to provide for all the rest .

 In this modern Little Women, each of the women are doing their best to make their way in the world – each choosing a different path, and each stumbling along the way to figuring out what love and happiness means. We find that none of the sisters is the caricature we’ve reduced her to; we find that none is so flawed nor so perfect as they’ve seemed – this new incarnation of the March family is not quite so pure, and for that reason, it’s so much more real.

 Because that’s what Incarnation means: it means in-the-flesh, in the real world of flesh and blood and sweat and tears. And that’s where the Incarnate Word, who put on flesh and lives among us, that’s where God meets us – not in some patient, perfect, harmonious universe, but in this one where we really live.

 It’s a bit peculiar, watching a movie knowing you’re going to preach on it in a few days. I’m always trying to take notes, jotting down the best lines and the things that really make you think – but this time, I found that my favorite scenes were the ones I couldn’t capture in my notes, because they were the moments when the whole brood of sisters are talking over each other – in joy, or excitement, murmuring words of comfort or exclamations of praise – and in those amazingly chaotic moments, there is just so much warmth and so much love.

 And when the March family ultimately loses one of their members, when quiet Beth really and truly fades right away, that’s when the sisters realize just how not-invisible Beth really was – how much her very presence meant – and more than that, they realize just how precious all those ordinary little moments of their ordinarily little lives always have been.

 Meg always longed for her own household, and Amy wanted riches, and Jo yearned for grand adventures – but when they lose Beth, they realize that what matters most, the grandest and richest adventures, came in quietly, in ordinary moments: in family newspapers and attic dramas, in family breakfasts and hair disasters, in missing gloves and burnt dresses and secret mailboxes and singing around the piano by candlelight… they learn to find the beauty and value in all that ordinary stuff.

 I imagine that’s why Jesus sought the company of sisters like Martha and Mary, whom we visited again today, on what was undoubtedly not one of their finest days. But Jesus the wandering rabbi was a man without a home, looking for a place to let down his guard and rest – and in his presence, even sisterly squabbles take on the air of something holy. Have you ever considered how remarkable it is that we know this story at all? That the story of two sisters fighting over housework was considered so important that it actually becomes part of the gospel – the story of salvation, the story of heaven come to earth, the story which was preserved and passed down through the generations? It’s not just crowds and miracles and sermons and speeches, but we find that the chaos of our daily lives is holy, too. Even when we’re not at our best, even when we get on each other’s nerves, love is there, and God is, too.

 Little Women is of course a story about a family of remarkable women, but there is an honorary brother in this family, the rich and lonely boy next door. And when that boy first encounters the chaotic bustle of noise and affection inside the March household, his face reflects his longing – a longing to belong to a crazy and boisterous and loving family like theirs. The arguments and embraces are holy, because they are bound together with a thread of love – and having everything means nothing if you have no one to share it with.

 Jo spends the whole novel trying to write great stories; she writes about kings and princesses, about murderers and star-crossed lovers and great and mighty battlefields. Jo writes stories about scandal and passion and gore – but what she realizes in the end is that the best story, the greatest and most important story, is her own.

 Beth begs her sister to keep writing, even after Beth herself is gone. And in the writing, Jo finds that the stories are holy – in the writing, she finds that her sister lives on. Love doesn’t end with death: we know it, we proclaim it, and Jo learns it – not by facing down a dragon on a battlefield, but by discovering the love that has been with her all her life through.

 That’s the beauty and the genius of Louisa May Alcott’s book – she who identified with Jo, who searched for a great story and found her story very close to home. Alcott’s characters reveal to us that every day is a holy day, and ordinary moments can be the holiest of all.

 And this is a message which is very personal for our family. Many of you know that we lost our son to leukemia when he was just one year old. Shortly after our son passed away, we sat with a friend of ours sharing photos and watching videos and telling stories through our tears, and our friend asked us, “Is there one memory, one moment, that you really treasure most of all?”

 And we said, “Honestly? It’s the stupid ordinary everyday family stuff: the stuff that we used to take for granted.” It’s the afternoon when our kids drummed together on the bottom of a garbage can, or the nights we actually all sat around the same dinner table, or we shared snuggles and had a tickle-fight at bedtime – it’s the seemingly ordinary moments that matter most. Carl’s big sister trying to “read” him a book. Going for a walk around the neighborhood. Playing with my parents’ dog. Crying in the carseat. Laughing as he spins around and around in an office chair. Holding him while he naps. Stupid, ordinary, everyday family stuff.

That’s what matters. That’s why the March family story endures: not just because each sister, in her own way, learns that the most important thing in life is love – but because, for all their grand dreams and ambitions, they discover the real adventure and the best story is our own. One of the sisters muses, “Do you really think anyone would care about our little domestic struggles and triumphs?” The answer throughout the years has, of course, been yes – because we are reminded that the real stuff of our daily lives matters, too.

 Friends, what is your story? Who shares it? Where has God been revealed in your life? What do you want to remember forever - not just the best days, but the ordinary ones? What legacy are we going to leave behind?

 Our little lives matter. This day, this day right now, is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. And may we find that this day is a holy day – flaws and squabbles and all.

  God of our greatest adventures, God of our ordinary every-days, we thank you for the gift of this day. Help us to see the beauty in the chaos of our lives: in moments we take for granted, in laughter and in tears, in all those things we don’t know enough to treasure until they’re gone. Teach us to value people above everything else; teach us to forgive, and help us especially to remember that what matters most is love. May we not just long to be loved, but to love, with courage and with grace. In the name of Jesus, who joins us in our messy world and turns all the ground we walk into holy ground, we pray; amen.

[mrslittletall]

Title: Frenzy (Chapter 3) Fandom: Bloodborne Characters: Laurence the first Vicar/Ludwig the Holy Blade Word Count: 1.882 AO3-Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19858519/chapters/47128024 Previous chapter: https://mrslittletall.tumblr.com/post/186426405936/mrslittletall-title-frenzy-chapter-2

Summary: Ludwig takes care of Laurence.

Ludwig didn't knew how long he had sitting at Laurence bed, stroking his hair, when his stomach loudly grumbled.

Right, he hadn't eaten anything yet. Although Ludwig didn't had much of an appetite, he knew that not eating would be even worse for his health. His gaze fell on Laurence, who still sat on the same position in his bed, his blank eyes staring at nothing in particular.

Would he be able to eat? Would he accept any food that would be put into his mouth and chew and swallow it? Or was he in danger to choke?

Whatever the answer was, Ludwig just couldn't let Laurence starve.

“Don't go anywhere, I will be back right away.”, Ludwig said when he stood up, noticing how stupid that must have sounded.

Where should Laurence go when he was literally unable to move on his own?

Ludwig glanced one last time at Laurence before he left the room, hastening to the mess hall.

Shortly after he left, Ludwig entered Laurence' room again. Like expected, Laurence hadn't moved at all. Ludwig put the brought food onto the night stand and went to close the door.

“I don't know if you can eat solid food, so I brought some oatmeal.”, he explained to Laurence, who, of course, didn't react.

“Come, let's get some food into you.”, Ludwig said farther, sitting down next to Laurence. Ludwig had brought some food for his own, but had eaten the first half on his way back to Laurence' room and intended to eat the rest later. He could wait.

Ludwig picked up the bowl with oatmeal, he had made care that it wouldn't be too hot, he didn't want for Laurence to burn himself, and a spoon and carefully instilled the puree into Laurence mouth, keeping his head slightly turned upwards. He seemed to be lucky, because Laurence' swallowing reflex seemed to take over and put the oat meal in the right place.

Of course, feeding Laurence like this took a long time. With each new spoon, Ludwig feared that he would accidentally choke Laurence. Would he even notice if he choked or only when it was too late? Laurence wasn't exactly in the right state to call for help or gesture when something was wrong. Maybe he should have left this procedure to the medicinal stuff at the infirmary.

Maybe that would have been the wiser decision..., but for now, everything seemed to work out. The bowl of oatmeal was empty and successfully transported into Laurence' digestive system. Right, that reminded Ludwig of the problem, that Laurence surely wouldn't be able to use the bathroom on his own like this. He probably needed to accompany to him. At least in this state Laurence wouldn't mind.

Which almost made Ludwig's heart break. He was so... lifeless. Laurence didn't felt like a human, but some obscure life sized doll which somehow breathed. Ludwig briefly was reminded of the life size doll of Lady Maria, that Gehrman had made. With the difference, that this doll was truly not alive, but Laurence was. Only that at the moment, they hardly could be distinguished.

“You should drink something too.”, Ludwig said and led a glass with water to Laurence' lips. This turned out to be more difficult than feeding him. Ludwig was extra careful with the water, so that he wouldn't choke Laurence, but in return half of it leaked out of Laurence' mouth and dripped on his pyjama and blankets instead. That was less than optimal. Should Ludwig give Laurence' drinks in a bottle like a baby would get? At least like this nothing would leak out, but he hadn't actually seen them in adult size.

Besides, this felt so wrong. Little children needed the help of their parents because they were still weak and developing and couldn't do it on their own, but Laurence was a grown adult. He just had... some weird sickness. Or injury? The church doctor could only name the symptom, but not the cause.

“Just what was it that has you left in this state?”, Ludwig asked as he wiped Laurence' mouth.

In the meantime, the old blood in the blood bag hooked up to Laurence had completely entered his blood stream. And no improvement so far.

Ludwig searched for some gauze and found it in Laurence' night stand. He carefully pulled the needled that had been stung into Laurence' right hand and quickly pressed the gauze on the tiny wound to avoid bruising.

There was no sound, no wince, nothing. Laurence just kept sitting in the same position staring blankly at nothing.

As Ludwig bandaged Laurence hand, it probably was completely redundant, but he wanted to get sure, the gravity of the situation hit him and tears finally started to stream down his face, as he hugged his motionless boyfriend.

Guilt bubbled up in Ludwig's chest, if he just could have avoided this somehow... but he didn't even knew what actually happened to Laurence. The only clue was Odeon Chapel. And how afraid Laurence had acted around it the day prior.

But even though Laurence had been afraid, that had been far better than the emotionless, motionless state he was in right now.

Ludwig finally released Laurence from his tearful hug, considering. When Laurence would stay in the same position all the time, wouldn't he get sore? He probably should shift him around. At least with the blood ministration needle out, this wouldn't be much of a problem.

Ludwig shifted Laurence into another position and stepped away from the bed, his gaze on the food he had brought for himself.

He hadn't much of an appetite, but he would force it down nonetheless. Because not eating anything at all would make his situation only worse.

Ludwig was halfway through his first slice of bread, when it occurred to him that he completely had neglected his own duties in favour of taking care of Laurence today. At the same time, it occurred to him, that nobody actually had come asking for him. And that was when he heard a knock on the door.

“Who is it?”, he asked, gaze at Laurence. He didn't knew if anyone in the church besides Florence and the church doctor knew about Laurence' condition. It probably was the best thing to not make public for now.

“It's me, Florence.”, Florence' voice sounded. “Can I come in?”

Ludwig relaxed. Florence was safe. She surely wouldn't have told the whole church of Laurence' condition. She also knew about the relationship of the two, once accidentally having them busted when they had been locked into a passionate kiss. Florence had just cleared her throat and apologized for the disturbance, but Ludwig was sure she never had told a single soul about what she had seen.

Laurence and Ludwig both had agreed that it was better when their relationship was not public and having someone who knew this secret had always been a great relieve.

“Of course, come in.”, Ludwig said and the door opened, Florence quietly slipping in.

“How is he?”, she asked, but one gaze at him gave her the answer. “No improvement so far?”

Ludwig nodded, sighing: “Yes, sadly. Say, what have you told the others when you cancelled his appointments?”

“I said that he wasn't feeling well, but of course didn't say his exact condition. Only the doctors know it, because I heard them discussing how they were going to treat him.”, Florence answered. “And please don't worry about your duties, Ludwig, I have found a substitute for today. I said that you also weren't feeling to well. Half the church now thinks that there is some virus spreading, but that is better than them panicking.”

“Yes, indeed.”, Ludwig agreed. “Though I fear we can't keep this a secret for long, should he...” Ludwig hardly dared to finish this sentence. “...should he stay this way.”

“For now, all we can do is wait.”, Florence sighed. “Just stay with him, Ludwig, I am sure he appreciates it.... Anyway, I should go now. There is still a lot to do. And I apologize for having interrupted your meal.”

With that, Florence turned around and left the room as quietly as she had slipped in. Ludwig quietly finished his meal. When he looked out of the window, he noticed that in the meantime, it already was around noon.

At this time, the church would be pretty empty, with most of the people being at their lunch break. It was the right opportunity to lead Laurence to the bathroom without anyone seeing them.

After all, it would be better for both Ludwig and Laurence that he didn't need to change and clean him up every time he needed to go.

A short while later Ludwig had learned, that accompanying Laurence to any bathroom breaks was indeed the right way, his body seemed to understand what it should do once placed at the right location, but he still needed to remember to actually do this regularly. After all, Laurence wasn't in a state to ask Ludwig for a bathroom break. If he would have been in a state to ask for it, he probably would be able to go on his own.

Ludwig brought Laurence back to his bed and carefully placed him in it. “In this state, you require a lot of care taking.”, he murmured. “Florence won't be able to cover for me forever. I probably need to deliver you to the infirmary tomorrow.”, he said. No reaction from Laurence of course.

Maybe... maybe there was something he could do? Maybe Laurence would get out of it when he just found the right stimuli? It was worth a try.

Ludwig's gaze fell on a book with poetry in it, placed next to Laurence' bed. He probably had read this before..., well, before the unknown incident happened.

Ludwig picked the book up and began reciting the poetries in it to Laurence.

Once he was done reciting the whole book, the evening had already come. No reaction. Ludwig noticed that he was not only very thirsty from talking aloud so much, but also that he was hungry again.

Sighing, he put the book down.

“I'll get us some dinner and then I'll wash you up before bed.”, he said.

After Ludwig had taken care of Laurence for the evening and put him back into his bed after he had cleaned him up, he decided to sleep with him in the same bed.

He didn't even knew if Laurence would be able to sleep in that state. He very much felt like sleeping with open eyes. Worse even, because a sleeping person would at least move around.

Ludwig put on his own pyjama and carefully slipped under the blankets next to Laurence, carefully laying him down. His blank eyes stared at him, no, seemed like they stared at him, but he wasn't staring at Ludwig in particular.

“Let's sleep now, shall we?”, Ludwig said and carefully closed the lids of Laurence' eyes before lying down and closing his own eyes.

After a short while, Ludwig felt something tug at his arm.

When he opened his eyes, he noticed that Laurence had clung to his arm. (Author's note: So, uh, a few things I want to address. First, it is a real big pet peeve of mine when it isn't explained in a fic or book how a character in a state like Laurence is right now takes care of their bathroom breaks. I mean, in modern society we just use catheters, but we are in a victorian era and so I decided to explain this shortly. Second, it occurred to me that Laurence has Ebrietas in his basement, so why should he be afraid of the Amygdala? But, yeah, Ebrietas is completely docile and only attacks when you are mean to her. Also, I headcanon that she once was found in the Chalice Dungeons, where Laurence assumes the Great Ones mostly reside. The Amydgala's on the other hand, they sit all around Yharnam like they own the place and have a very obvious connection to the nightmare, with the one on Odeon Chapel even bringing you to the Hunter's Nightmare, which is Laurence' eternal hell. So yeah, it makes sense for Laurence to be a lot more terrified of the Amydgala than he would be of Ebrietas.) Next chapter: https://mrslittletall.tumblr.com/post/186517574184/title-frenzy-chapter-4-fandom-bloodborne