#hartlow speaks

[hartlow]

Rules I'm learning that are contained within the House MD universe:

You have to nearly die two or three times before you become completely able bodied afterward with no consequences just trust the process

Part of the job description of being a doctor is committing breaking and entering and everybody including patients is totally okay with it

Don't go on the MRI table unless you want to have a seizure

The blond man nine year old kisser is the sexy one. NOT the kind gentle silly well-groomed oncologist with big brown puppydog eyes.

[hartlow]

I could not even begin to describe to you what it felt like to hear the words live "Kamala Harris wants to perform transgender surgeries on illegal immigrants in prison"

[hartlow]

Just a random thought that's been on my mind for a long time, but why is it that something being sexual automatically means it isn't art anymore?? Why can't something sexual also be viewed as intelligent and good outside of how successfully it turns you on? Every day I'm annoyed because I feel like there is SO MUCH thematic potential in sex and sexual dynamics that people don't take advantage of, because they think that just because it's horny, it doesn't/can't have deeper meaning to it. Even if you're creating something just with the purpose of saying "I'm horny" or "these characters are horny" you are still CREATING something with a message; It's a craft you have to develop, and anyone who's scrolled AO3 knows there's a difference between good porn and bad porn... I think the closest I've seen to sex being treated this way is in NBC's Hannibal, but I'd like to see more of it

[hartlow]

MAJOR SPOILER WARNING FOR EP 6 OF SECRET LIFE

Getting emotional over Minecraft men again. The canary curse broke...and yet, for what? Just to be second in line for the slaughter? To be given 10 or 20 minutes of grace before dying within the same session? To be separated from your only ally, who's now left stranded and alone without you? It broke, but fate still gave him the least grace it could. If anything, the canary isn't the real curse; the game is.

[hartlow]

Also something that irritates me is that I'm attracted to Lestat, because I know he'd want me to be, which makes me EVEN ANGRIER, because HE'D WANT ME TO BE ANGRY. He would be so satisfied with that. He would LOVE that. He'd have a shit-eating grin on his face and I want to punch it in. Blond men die forever

[hartlow]

I still have not watched S2 of IWTV but I have this very particular Thing with that show where I would just randomly remember that one scene and go, "Clawdia..... You left.... Without saying googbye...... Again......." Like the cunty body language and the way he says goodbye is so fucking funny to me that it has just wired itself into my brain permanently. But the reason I bring this up at all is because I just say "googbye" now. I just said "googbye" to my notes app before I closed it. I had forgotten it's from Interview with the Vampire. It has just become one of my favorite words between me and myself.

[hartlow]

Any other transmascs like...completely oblivious of their period though? One of the reasons my cramps are bedridden-level-bad on the first day is bc I will literally have to cramp for like 45 minutes until I realize my stomach might hurt for a reason. And I feel like period cramps are a very specific kind of pain that you'd recognize immediately if you aren't an idiot like me 😭

[hartlow]

Me when I spend the entire day starting out researching the career I want to pursue just to see that I'd need a master's in order to do it and I can't GET a master's for a million different reasons so I will just have to not go to college and work minimum wage jobs I hate until I die instead like everybody else in this country

[hartlow]

Thinking about that dream I had where Jack was a bus driver and I was one of his passengers and he said that Hannibal is a fantasy series and Wolf Trap doesn't exist and I got into such a heated argument with him about it that he pulled the bus over, stormed into a gas station, stayed in there for like 30 mins, and came back out with bright blue hair. He then proceeded to drive me home saying nothing.

[hartlow]

doctor robert kisses-nine-year-olds-on-the-lips chase would think the make a wish kid gets to say the n word

[hartlow]

I don't use Tumblr or any social media anymore since my mental health has improved and my life has gotten busier, but I just wanted to say happy one year anniversary today to me watching the film As You Are, a film that's very important to me but I swore never to watch again bc it wrecked me. I woke up this morning from what felt like a months-long dream of me meeting Mark, gradually getting to know him, becoming incredibly close with him, and experiencing intense grief when he passed away. Like I was literally in the denial phase saying "no, that can't be true" and crying when I realized they were putting him in a body bag?? And now I'm just supposed to go about my life knowing that literally nothing of what I experienced was real. I feel...normal.

[hartlow]

I went to Dollywood for the first time today. My advice:

- Time passes differently there. 2 hours will pass and it'll feel like you've done nothing. Always make sure to keep track of the clock

- DO NOT LET THE "LIGHTNING ROD" BEING THE FIRST RIDE YOU SEE WHEN YOU ENTER THE PARK DECEIVE YOU. YOU DO NOT WANT TO START YOUR DAY WITH THE LIGHTNING ROD. IN FACT, YOU DON'T WANT TO SPEND TIME WITH THE LIGHTNING ROD AT ALL IF YOU WANT TO MAKE IT OUT ALIVE.

[hartlow]

Friday, I'll have to talk to my primary care about renewing my medications, for the first time since changing my name to Elliot on their database. He is known to be stupid and an asshole. Wish me luck

[hartlow]

I'm ngl, I deeply miss being 14 and watching Run BTS episodes and trying to learn dance moves and staying up all night deciphering music video lore with my sister and getting excited when the members change their hair colors bc it means there's gonna be new music. I was deeply cringe and unhinged and wasting my money on posters, but it was very freeing. I've grown too much out of caring for those types of things anymore but it does always feel so good to find something you're that utterly obsessed with; I can empathize with myself

[hartlow]

Hey. Genuine question. Why do so many hot people work at psych wards. I kid you not, I had 4 crushes while I was there.

[hartlow]

Being sooo brave rn (<- saw someone being wrong on the internet and did not engage with them)