#harry's vision from the past and hopefully the future

[misslilies]

"Who knows why we do the things we do. Somehow bouncing those ideas off the man with sunglasses felt calming. Like you've done it before."

[jinxthepanda]

Follow The Magic

A Eventual Draco x OC Fanfic

Might be the first chapter I am unsure about it.

Completely self-indulgent and is based off of a roleplay me and a friend did with some changes here and there just for story flow and I have some ideas involving the MC from Hogwarts: Legacy and my OC, Rose, but that may be a little farther down the line if I were to really get into writing this.

Now I am not good at summaries but long story short:

Rose(OC) comes from our world and decides she's going to try and change things hopefully for the better and will eventually come to learn new things about herself.

Rating: G

//This story will contain Eventual Draco x Rose(OC), Temporary Harry x Rose(OC) and use of headcannons in the future

Not Proofread

🐍Extra Author's notes and rp partner credit at the end🐍

The halls were dark and empty save for the moving portraits as all the students had settled in for their first night back in Hogwarts after the summer.

The sound of footsteps echoed as the known Potions Master, Professor Severus Snape made his rounds through the halls, holding his wand out with Lumos to light his way. There didn't seem to be anything out of the ordinary as he could hear the snores or grumbles from the paintings he passed until he came across an uncommon sight.

The only ones up at this time would be whatever teachers that were preparing for their first classes in the morning or were patrolling the halls for any students looking to make trouble for themselves.

A young girl was layed out on the floor down one of the corridors, she seemed to be unconscious as her chest rose and fell steadily with her breathing.

Snape made his way to this unconscious girl, the light from his wand illuminating the area as he got close to her. His mind was racing with the thoughts on which house she belonged to, why was she out past curfew and why on earth was she sleeping on the floor in a random corridor?

It was only the first night and he already has to deal with this foolishness.

"Wake up." He snarled out as he moved his wand to illuminate her face with Lumos to determine who she was as she began to sturr from the bright light.

She opened her blue eyes slightly before raising a hand to block the light that was in her face with a soft groan.

"What?..." she muttered, confused on who was waking her with such a blinding light as she moved to sit up.

Snape stood up straight as he searched his memory for who she was, moving his wand slightly away so it wasn't blinding her still.

"What are you doing out of bed?" He questioned or more like demanded. The girl rubbed the sleep from her eyes as they slowly came back into focus. When he felt she was taking to long to answer he decided to ask again. "Speak. What...are you doing out of bed?"

"Mm...what? I was just sleeping on my couch..." she muttered groggily before she glanced around. Her eyes narrowing in even more confusion. "This...isn't my living room?"

Soon the girl's eyes landed on Snape. Now that her vision wasn't blurred from sleep she could see him almost clearly. But once she recognized him, her blue eye widened in shock at who stood before her.

His own eyes narrowed in suspicion. Only recognizing that her accent sounded that of an american. "Where are you from?..." His words slow as he could see the pure look of shock on her face.

It took her a moment to find her voice again as she mentally fought through her shock. "A-america...sir.." she stuttered out as she slowly stood up. Unsure on whether or not this was real.

His own eyes widened some in confusion as he wondered who this girl even was. "And...your name?" He asked next. "Its...Rose Adams, sir..." she answered. He got the feeling that something wasn't right with this girl.

"Do you have any idea where you are?" He questioned now before she gave another glance around the area. "I...would like to guess Hogwarts?" Her answer coming out as more of a question before she muttered. "If it is....maybe I'm dreaming?.."

He nodded his head slowly. "Yes....Hogwarts....and are you a student?" He asked, already knowing the answer.

"Um..no...unfortunately I'm what you would call...a muggle.." she said as he stared down at her. He kept his eyes on her for a moment longer before he moved to walk past her. "Come with me." He all but demanded as he moved quickly, ushering her to follow.

She struggled to keep up with his long strides as she followed him and the only light source there was in these dark halls.

It didn't take to long as he lead her to the statue that would slowly turn as it made stairs leading up to the headmaster's office.

Rose was greatly confused on her whole situation until she recognized the statue that Professor Snape had led her to, feeling a slight rush of excitement as they got closer to the office door.

Snape made his way through the door with Rose following as close as she could.

Albus Dumbledore stood behind his desk, already in his night robes as he prepped for bed. He looked up at the sound of his office door opening and seeing Snape along with this strange girl entering his office.

Rose couldn't contain her excitement at seeing the great Albus Dumbledore in the flesh as she gave a small but ecstatic wave with a excited "Hello!" Leaving Dumbledore to slightly raise his brow.

"Headmaster..." Snape muttered as he came over to Dumbledore's side and whispered to him for a moment before saying. "How could this have happened?" In a slightly louder but more hushed tone as Dumbledore let out a half laugh.

"Well clearly she isn't as much as a muggle as she thinks. Thats how.." Dumbledore said calmly as he looked at the Potions Master.

"Ooh no...no. I'm pretty sure I'm all muggle.." Rose spoke up, making both men look her way. "Especially since...well...since all of this doesn't exist in my version of home.." she muttered some as she looked down, fidgeting with her hands.

"And what exactly do you mean, version?" Snape asked quickly as Dumbledore stared at her for the moment in disbelief on what he heard her say.

"Well...I'm not exactly from this universe...or even time..." she started before thinking for a moment. "After thinking about how all that works it kinda hurts my head a bit..." she said as she glanced up before her eyes immediately went back down to the floor.

"But...I know all about Hogwarts..about the both of you. About Harry..." Rose said all this honestly, knowing she could trust the only other two people in the room with this information. "And its all because of some fantasy books that I had read back home.."

Snape looked at her, stunned. "Books?" He scoffed a bit as Dumbledore stood there for a moment as he processed this new information.

"Well...do you know how you came to be here?" He finally asked, unsure on what else to say.

"N-no sir...I have no idea. All I know is that I fell asleep on my couch back home and then I was woken up by him while on the floor of one of the halls.." She gestured towards Snape as she explained what had lead up to now.

Dumbledore pondered for a moment, starting to pace as he stroked his long beard. When his back was to the other two in the room he quickly turned towards them again. "Well I am unsure on how to send you back to your home at this point in time." He said before glancing over to Snape. "We shall get her sorted to blend in until we can figure something out."

Rose's eyes widened at what she was hearing before she let out a small squeal as she jumped in excitement. Once she noticed she had the two professor's attention she quickly calmed herself. "Uhm...t-that would be perfect. And I don't think I'll pop up on the ministries radar since I'm not supposed to exist here!" She happily said before she looked down in thought.

"But I'm a muggle...I don't think I can use magic at all..and what about the other teachers? Wouldn't they get suspicious of a new student who doesn't even use magic?" She asked before Dumbledore pondered this for a moment.

"I believe I can fix that." He said before turning to open a box and bringing out a basic looking wand. "This is an enchanted wand. It should work for any basic magical skills.. You will just need to learn the proper wand movements like everyone else." He said as he handed the wand to her before looking over to Snape.

"Professor Snape will oversee your practices and make sure you are not put into any awkward situations that you cannot handle." He muttered. "The rest I will handle. Welcome, our newest transfer student." He said with a weak smile.

Rose smiled wide as she held her new wand to her chest. "Thank you, Professor! I can't wait to see which house I'll actually get into." She said, all giddy.

"Well the wait is over." Dumbledore said before he gave a quick wave of his hand and the sorting hat came off of the shelf and a stool slid across the floor to the middle of the room.

Dumbledore held the hat as he gestured for Rose to sit on the stool before she quickly made her way over.

Once she had sat down and the hat was placed upon her head it instantly came to life and began to speak. "Interesting...muggle? A MUGGLE!?" It hollered in that familiar gruff voice she remembers from the movies. "Hmmmm....where to put you..." The hat continued before giving a chuckle. "Could make you a Hufflepuff...mmm...but you're to cunning for that."

As it spoke, Rose chewed on her lip in nervous anticipation as she thought about how it would be like to be in each house but her mind would always wonder back to Slytherin. The house she got when she did that one online quiz.

Suddenly the hat yelled "Let it be SLYTHERIN!" Before Dumbledore took it off her head. "Well there you go. Its settled and even better, Professor Snape can keep a closer eye on you."

Rose happily hopped off the stool before turning to Dumbledore. "Oh wait...what about books and other supplies for the classes?" She asked.

"It is already handled. Now if you'll excuse me I am off to bed. Goodnight." Dumbledore said with a yawn before walking off without another word.

Snape looked at Rose with a huff and a slight nod. "Well come on." He said before going to leave before turning back to her when she didn't follow as she was lost in her thoughts on all the exciting things she's going to learn.

Once she noticed Professor Snape standing and looking at her she quickly snapped out of it. "Sorry.." she muttered in slight embarrassment as she moved to follow after him.

As they walked she decided to strike up some conversation. "So...are we heading down to the dungeons?" She asked as Snape continued in his long strides without looking back at her.

"Yes....to the common room." He found it so strange that she knew so much and his suspicion showed in his tone.

Rose could hear the suspicious tone in his voice and felt a bit nervous with the current situation. "I uh...can't wait for classes to start.." she muttered softly before a thought popped up in her head. "Hey...what year is Harry in now?" She asked, curious on what part of the timeline she had landed in.

He finally glanced back at her as he kept walking "Potter..." the name nearly spewed from his lips. "Is in his third year.." he answered before they came upon the door to the Slytherin common room. "Pure-blood." Snape said before the door opened and lead Rose inside.

He quickly went to showing her where the girl's dormitories. "There is and empty bed ready for you and a trunk full of the supplies you would need to classes as well as a clean uniform." He explained as she nodded along.

"Thank you, sir..." she said but he didn't acknowledge her gratitude as he turned to leave. "Good night..." he muttered before quickly closing the door and leaving her there to her own devices.

Rose had muttered a soft "Goodnight.." back that he most likely did not hear. Once alone, she made her way to her dorm room, looking around at the other girls that were fast asleep in their beds before she found her own.

Once found she had climbed in under the covers. Once she was snuggled up in the bed she found that it was a little hard to sleep from both the excitement and nervous because of the situation and just ended up tossing and turning for a bit until she finally calmed down enough to fall asleep. Hoping this all of this wasn't a dream.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hey so this is the first fanfic I really feel comfortable with posting. I'm not all that good of a writer once so ever but I hope it will be somewhat enjoyable for someone out there.

Also let me know what other tags I should add if any cause I have no idea what I am doing.

Now I have to give some credit to my roleplay friend who used to go by Lyra Black on Discord. I wish we could have continued and possibly finished the rp but I hope you're doing okay out there. 💚

[finelinevogue]

I am *respectfully* begging for a oneshot based off the song Champagne Problems by Taylor Swift🥺

okay let’s have a bit of fun with this mwhaha;

The moon was at full peak.

She was sat in the black canvas of a starry sky, shining down on the party below or at least so you thought she was. The flute glasses glowed under her brightness and bubbled with happiness. The pool was reflecting her image so beautifully. Everyone looked amazing in their gorgeous evening outfits of silk and lace, Gucci and Prada, chatting and laughing away as the night was close to striking midnight.

“Such a lovely party, Y/N.” Another guest thanked you, you not having the faintest idea of who they were.

You and Harry were hosting a dinner party in the back garden of his Malibu palace to celebrate his recent success over this past year. He’d had movie after movie, along with an album and a tour. He had done exceptionally well for himself, so he wanted to throw the most lavish party to celebrate with his friends and family that had helped him through it all. You had been in charge of organising food and a live band, Harry in charge of the guest list, Mitch in charge of decorations - bu really it had been Sarah - and Gemma in charge of the drinks; specifically champagne.

“I’m glad.” You smiled, as you poured yourself another glass of the bubbles. You felt the warmth of someones hand slide onto your exposed back, making you shiver with temptation and love.

“Have I told you just how beautiful you look this evening?” Harry spoke softly against your ear, kissing over the skin where his words had touched you.

He had been showing you off all night, always introducing you as ‘my beautiful girlfriend’ and keeping you close to him whenever he could. He would pull out his wallet and show people the picture he kept of you in there. It was one he’d taken of you laughing as you ran away from him on the beach. Even though the photo was black and white it was obvious how happy you were. He loved having you near and whenever someone said that they hadn’t seen you yet, he knew to go straight to the desserts table and find you shovelling yet another chocolate coated strawberry into your mouth not-so-gracefully.

“You have, but I won’t stop you if you want to do it again.” You replied, quite enjoying the flattering compliments. You’d dressed yourself in a silky evening gown that was in a deep red colour and Harry was having a hard time keeping his hands off of you. The front was v-cut, with the back completely open too, so it left your skin exposed for Harry to treat himself to. You turned around in his hold and pushed your body into his, making him hum in appreciation.

“I can’t stop thinking how much I want to kiss you.” He looked at your lips as he spoke, wanting to stain his own lips with the bold colour you’d painted on yours. You were so delicious and he wanted to devour every inch of you.

“Well what’s stopping you?” You reached a hand up to scrunch his curls under your fingers, the bracelets on your arm sliding down and jingling with another.

“Meet me upstairs in 5 minutes.” He replied, making you furrow your eyebrows in curiosity of what he was playing at.

“Should I ask why?”

“You shouldn’t, I don’t want to answer when my mum is standing just across the room.” He made you both chuckle, before leaning back from you to give you a quick once over. “Wow.” He breathed out, the biggest grin to his face. “5 minutes.”

And then he was gone.

You bit your lip as he rushed straight over to his mum and sister, who were both eagerly smiling at him. You couldn’t help but fall in love with him a little more at the sight. He was so innocent and full of love and happiness, you were so in awe of him and his beautiful qualities.

You did a quick scour of the room, making sure there were no unhappy faces, before heading in the direction of the bathroom to freshen up before visiting Harry. As you walked up the stairs you noticed a conversation between one of Harry’s cousins and one of his American friends, it sounded quite argumentative so you went to make sure everything was alright.

“You both okay?” You asked sweetly, your heels clicking on the floor as you approached them.

“God you’re just everywhere aren’t you?” The friend laughed, but you could tell she wasn’t laughing for a joke.

“I’m sorry?” You asked shocked at her tone, wondering what the problem was here.

“You’re so up in everyone else’s business always.”

“I don’t understand—”

“No of course you don’t. God, I understand why Harry finds you so annoying and clingy.”

“Kia—” The cousin gasped in shock of Kia’s words.

“No, you know i’m right Rachel just be quiet.” Kia shushed Rachel and brought her attention back to you.

“Harry thinks i’m clingy?” You asked, trying to understand what was really going on.

“That amongst lots of other things.”

“He would never. He loves me.” Your argued, slight tears in your eyes from letting her get to you like this. It was different than tabloids because you were actually hearing it from someone’s mouth, rather than an edited and faceless article. It stung so much more.

“And? Did you really think he would ever stick around for someone like you?” Kia laughed and then walked off, strutting her and her perfect body away from you and back to the main party area. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion, trying to understand what her words truly meant to you.

“Y/N…” Rachel tried to console you, but you didn’t want her. You wanted Harry and yet now you didn’t.

“Do you think all that too?” You asked quietly, scared to hear an answer. You got your answer though when she spoke nothing and tilted her head down in shame. You understood. “Okay, thank you.” You quietly said and tried your best to smile, but you knew it didn’t reach your eyes.

You started walking towards the stairs, thinking what this all meant. You always had a back thought that Harry was too good for you, but you just never let yourself be put in the position to think upon that thought. Now though. Now, you were thinking.

Of course you would be naive enough to think that your happily ever after would be with the one man who’s heart could be taken by every other woman on the planet. Even your university teacher had once talked about having a crush on him and he had only been 21 at the time. You never thought here, when he was 27, would you possibly be the one to hold his heart. You did, though, but it wouldn’t be forever - Kia was right, Rachel was right. Everyone knew, but you were just too blinded by his love for you right now to think that it will just wilt away in the future. You were a rose, beautiful and in it’s prime as it flourished on the love it was fed, but after time when even the smallest amounts of love are forgotten to be given the rose wilts and so dies. It’s forgotten about in turn and left to degrade itself into oblivion.

You walked the stairs slowly, completely numb to your core. How could all of 5 minutes turn your emotions 180° and permanently? Your brain ran over the thoughts and little moments that you should’ve picked up on before. Like, when Harry forgot your anniversary and blowing it off that he had been at some work-do but he’d really been at Karlie Kloss’ birthday party. Like, when Harry stopped sending you postcards when he was on tour. Like, when he did that heart-rate test and saw a picture of Camille, looking utterly stunning, on the Victoria Secret runway his heart beat was incredibly high. Is that what he wanted 30 years from now? A model? Someone who was in the same business as him and could understand. You tried to, you really did, but it was starting to feel like maybe you weren’t to be enough.

Making your way down the hallway this way, you couldn’t help but feel like it was for the last time. There was this gut feeling that whatever Harry wanted you for, was going to make sure you were both reminded why you couldn’t be together.

“Damn. You’re a vision.” Harry whistled and you then spotted him at the end of the hallway, the moon shining in through the window and lighting him up like the pure angel he was. You weren’t worthy of his heart. You could only chuckle, not having the passion to make a flirty comment back. Not anymore.

“Listen Harry—” “Okay I have to ask you—” You both talked at the same time, bringing only a nervous chuckle to your face.

“You first.” He offered.

“No, you.” You offered back and he took it.

“Okay, alright.” He breathed in heavily. “You’re so beautiful.” He started, making you blush a little but it was dim up here so you weren’t worried about him noticing. Hopefully he didn’t see the sadness in your eyes either.

“Thank you.” You replied humbly.

“And I want to be able to wake up and tell you that every single day—”

“Harry…” You cut him off, your heart having just dropped so low to the floor.

“Yes?”

“Is this…”

“If you let me continue, yes.” He laughed, thinking that you were happy for him to continue. He was about to, but you cut him off.

“Don’t.” You said, a shake in your voice that was very apparent.

“Don’t— what?” He asked confused, stepping closer to you and only for you to step back. He stopped when he noticed that he would not be able to make distance to you, furrowing his eyebrows and looking hurt. Really hurt. Pain that you and you alone were causing him.

“Don’t ask me the question I think you’re about to.” You held of your hand to both stop him coming closer and to stop him talking. “Just don’t.”

“Baby… what?” Harry asked confused, tears visible in his eyes now. He just wanted to be near you and understand.

“Harry… Don’t make me say it.” You warned him.

“Say what?”

“Harry…”

“Y/N, say what?”

“No!” You shouted, loud enough that people downstairs might’ve heard. “No, Harry. No. I won’t marry you.” You started to cry and let the tears fall freely. You deserved to feel like your heart had been ripped from your chest, the same way you deserved to cry forever. You deserved nothing but pain to repay the damage you’d caused Harry.

“Wha—” He started, but you were too selfish to stick around and watch him crumble. You shot off down the hallway and down the stairs, making your way to the front door. Luckily you didn’t have to go through the masses of people to face the disappointing faces. Luckily no one had to see your cries, except Kia. She was stood by the front door, holding out your coat already as if she were waiting for you.

“Kia what—”

“You thought this evening was for Harry? No. It was for you.” She shoved your coat to you, making you stumble back from the force.

“What?”

“This was your surprise engagement party, with the surprise being the fucking engagement. Everyone knew about it apart from you. He had this plan of asking you and then coming downstairs to everyone yelling surprise. Seems like you fucked that up though.” She sneered at you and your sobs fell from your throat harder than before, your makeup ruining the prettiness of your face as it ran from all the salty tears.

“But you…”

“I what? Said a bunch of bullshit? I was only saying things you’ve heard a million times before. I was making sure you were the right person for our Harry. Seems like you’re far from it.” She chuckled, shaking her head in disappointment at you.

“You’re cruel.”

“No, Y/N, you are. You just did the one thing that I would’ve never done; break Harry’s heart.” She looked at you in disgust before opening the door for you. You gave her one last look, hate in her eyes for you, before you walked outside with the door slamming forcefully behind you. Your heart being left besides Harry’s broken one.

[ikissedremuslupin]

I was free. So why did it feel like I wasn't..?

Wolfstar fanfic, Sirius POV, tw: mostly depressive post-Azkaban thoughts be mindful of yourself, though hopefully ending on a positive note, mention of Remadora (for those who aren´t fans)

I couldn't escape my past. It was haunting me. Constantly. I had a vision of the man I wanted to be and most of my life I managed to embody that vision. I got into Griffindor, I had the best mates and I rebelled against my family in any way I could. I was young though and full of that angry fire. I'm tired now. Burned out. Like a star that shone too bright. I spent twelve years in prison. Not any prison either, but one where you are made to go over the worst moments of your life over and over again. My best mate is dead. My friend is a traitor. The war left us with such holes in our lives that they can't be ever filled again. Most people I knew are dead. My life is in ruins. And the war is back. My family can't hurt me anymore, but the shadow of my past keeps looming over me. I am back at my family house and I'm haunted by ghosts. My upbringing has scarred me. I was trying to fight it my whole life, to put up the version of me I wanted to become over the hurt. But I'm exhausted. It's getting to me. I feel small, like a little boy again, hiding in the cellar from the punishment. I think it was the Marauders who made it all bearable. I had a place where I felt accepted, whole. They were like my family where the biological one let me down. I wasn't alone. It was us against the world. Now, all I have are fragments of what used to be. And I'm holding onto them so tightly my hands are bleeding. I wish I could be the man I used to be. So full of optimism and fire, self-confidence and purpose. I am but a shadow of that man. A shell. Without any substance. The fight has left me. There's still a fire, but it's so small, it's like it's hardly there. I think that's why I'm holding so hard onto the only things that matter. And why I get so worried I could lose them too. Even though Remus is back in my life, it's not the same. It can't be the same. We're different people. We are too hurt. Scarred by the war. Still, I'm so scared I could lose him. So scared that he doesn't feel as strongly about me as I do about him. I do not have it in me to open up to someone else anymore. That's why I'm holding on to this even though it's broken and toxic and does not work. I know Tonks loves him. And she's here and she's whole and young and full of life. He has a future with her. And I can feel myself stepping down. Maybe it's just the legacy of my family. Making me feel like I don't deserve him. Making me feel like there's something inherently wrong with me. And that's why all of these bad things keep happening to me. Like I deserve it somehow. I made them happen. It's my life anyway. I made it. It's my fault. My fault. Oh my god, James. My fault… How can I face Harry and tell him: Yes, I killed them. I did it. I made you an orphan. I can't let go of the guilt even if I wanted to. I guess that's what's weighing me down. Why it's so hard to go on. It shattered me to a thousand pieces. And you're dead and can't forgive me anymore. Maybe I could accept Harry's forgiveness. But the hardest thing is to forgive myself. Just as it was hard to forgive myself for the blame my family placed on me. Sometimes it weighed one me. Maybe it was my fault. Maybe I was indeed a bad son. Maybe I forced her hand. Maybe I was the reason for her ire. Maybe if I could be the way she wanted me to be, she'd love me. But I couldn't be who she wanted me to be, I was simply someone else. It was my friends who saved me. Who inspired me to be the man I wanted to be. But in the end I lost them too and it was my fault. And sometimes it occurs to me if all of that was just an illusion. Something I wanted to believe because it kept me afloat. And now the illusion is ruined. And it's hard to trust something else, because I'm not naive anymore. Maybe I'm just too sceptical. But I'm too scared not to be. And that's how my past keeps me from fully embracing the present. I guess I can only take a leap of faith. Remus has never betrayed me and that's one of the things that kept me going through Azkaban. He's the only one I'm willing to open my heart to and sometimes the fragility of it scares me. That's why I have the tendency to shut off and keep him away. I feel like I don't deserve his love. Because it's also his friend I've killed. I did not trust him with the truth. Maybe if I did things could be different. But maybe I don't have to bear it all on my own. Maybe we can share the guilt. He didn't see it either. Maybe we are the ones that are left. If we can't be united, we are truly lost. Maybe I can be redeemed by that love again. 

What to do with all that love? Be redeemed by it. 

Art by Chriara Bautista

[multimetaverse]

HSMTMTS 2x01 Review

New Year’s Eve was a great way to return to HSMTMTS especially after such a long gap. Let’s dig in!

Vladimir Lenin once said that, ‘’ there are decades where nothing happens; and there are weeks where decades happen". It’s been almost a year and half since S1 ended but this past week has seen revelation after revelation as the fandom has resurrected itself and promotion for S2 kicked into high gear: Joshua Bassett came out, Frankie and Joe confirmed that they are a real life couple, Larry seemingly confirmed that S2 will only have 11 eps rather than the 12 initially ordered, and perhaps most importantly Olivia revealed that she and the main cast are under contract for 4 seasons and made clear that she’s leaving the show as soon as her contract is up.

I really enjoyed this premiere, it felt like picking up right back where we left off. I’m guessing that S2 was originally supposed to premiere around Christmas or New Year’s but the holiday decorations and real Utah snow add a charming aesthetic to the ep. Tim Federle deserves credit for giving HSMTMTS more of an ensemble feel which is no easy feat with a cast as large as this show has. It likely won’t last due to covid restrictions  but at least for tonight we got to see all the characters hanging out together acting like a real group of friends.

The dialogue tonight really reminded me of Glee and I think I mean that as a compliment. Miss Jenn in particular seems to be doing her best April Rhodes impression minus the alcoholism. 

The rini scenes tonight were lovely. Perfect gift was a great song and I loved the rini duet during the music in me as the world faded around them leaving just the two of them. The Harry Styles reference is funny in light of Josh’s coming out interview. Of course, it’s hard now to separate Nini and Ricky and Olivia and Josh. Their chemistry shines through as 2x01, 2x02, and possibly parts of 2x03 were filmed pre Jolivia breakup which seems to have happened around summer 2020. Whether they can keep that same chemistry later on in S2, not to mention future seasons, remains to be seen.

A major theme tonight was communication and clearly Rini need to work on theirs. Poor Ricky had to learn that Nini’s moving to Denver the night before she leaves town which has to remind of him of his mom effectively abandoning him. Ricky saying that he’s never gonna breakup with Nini ever again sure sounds like foreshadowing for a disaster though the odds that this time Nini initiates the breakup are pretty good. 

I’m glad that the show is continuing to delve in the Bowen’s divorce story with their house being sold and Ricky and his dad having to move into an apartment. Divorce is expensive and the division of assets typically leave people less well off. Mike Bowen needs to work on his communication skills but he’s rocking that beard; it takes him from depressed divorced dad to depressed divorced daddy.

Seblos was cute and in a nice change of pace Disney doesn’t seem to be cynically teasing them then cutting their scenes. It was refreshing to see them just being a couple and to hear Carlos casually refer to himself as gay. In that regard tonight’s ep didn’t seem like it was a Disney show at all and it’s major progress that there are now two main gay characters on HSMTMTS. We learn that Carlos is rich which seems likely to be a source of conflict with Seb who comes from a large farming family.

Bet on It was really fun and I liked that Ricky apparently couldn’t stop singing it. The medley of HSM 2 songs was fun but I’ll be real with you wildcats, I never thought HSM 2 or 3 were nearly as good as the first movie so I’m not sad that they’re doing something else this year.

Wild that Big Red’s mom also calls him Big Red. Salt Lake Slices seems poised to be a big part of S2 both as hangout spot and work location for some of the characters. Redlyn are sweet together but sometimes Big Red comes off as a closeted gay guy which isn’t ideal for a het pairing that is supposedly a big part of S2.

Nice to see Gina so excited to have sleepovers with Ashlyn. We know from 2x03 that Gina contends with being single on Valentine’s day and from her glances at Ricky tonight she’s clearly not over him. Tim’s playing with fire and I can only hope he knows what he’s doing. I liked the little detail of Kourtney having AOC on her vision board, it feels true to the character (hopefully AOC gets elected president one day if the USA doesn’t collapse into a fascist dictatorship or civil war before then). EJ’s beard has got to go but I like that he seems committed to being a better version of himself; very doubtful his plan to go straight to Duke like his forefathers doesn’t change by the end of the season. 

Derek Hough did a good job of playing Zach as a subtly condescending man who managed to swiftly undermine Miss Jenn’s confidence, we’ll see what he and North High bring to the table.

Looking Ahead:

Next week are auditions for Beauty and the Beast, we know Ashlyn gets the role of Belle and EJ has conveniently removed himself from the running for Beast which presumably clears the path for Ricky to take the lead. There’s been some controversy over the casting choices and I’ll save my comments about it for the 2x02 review.

We get to see Lily who looks like a meaner version of season 1 Gina, we’ll see how much depth she actually ends up getting. Howie is introduced in 2x03 and Antoine likely shows up later on. Jack likely shows up towards the end of the season.

Howie seems to have a connection with Kourtney though the character synopsis does say he gets close to a wildcat or two which certainly leaves room to slide him into Gina’s plot. We know Antoine is into Ashlyn so that’s another love triangle to look forward to. Jack was described as having wanderlust and most of the cast seems not to have filmed with him so I think it’s likely that he plays a role in convincing EJ to take a gap year rather than head straight to Duke. 

A translation leak on TikTok reveals that in 2x03 Gina is sad that she’s only gotten a Valentine’s Day gift from her mom. A brief clip from the promo shows up her on her porch at night holding a heart shaped box of chocolates. If that’s supposed to be from a secret or semi-secret admirer than it has to be from either EJ, Ricky, or Howie. If it’s a platonic gift then it could be from anyone, we’ll see what Tim has up his sleeves.

Nini moving back to SLC is a question of when not if. It’s going to be very difficult to bring her back in a way that’s justified and also doesn’t leave the time she spends in Denver looking like a total waste. Frankly, I’d rather the show just bite the bullet and bring her back with as little fuss as possible.

We’re possibly around a quarter way through HSMTMTS given that the mains have 4 season contracts and presuming that the show is not cancelled earlier. At the very least the show will be radically different after S4 if they try to continue it as Olivia has made very clear that she’s going to leave asap to pursue her burgeoning music career full time (notably she’s only done the bare minimum of promo for S2). 

Looming over the remaining seasons of HSMTMTS is what the professional relationship between Olivia and Josh looks like especially since in many ways the show is built around Ricky and Nini. Off screen relationships have often caused on screen problems and dating a co-worker is rarely a good idea since even clean breakups leave lingering resentments. Obviously the Jolivia breakup was not clean, Driver’s License, Deja Vu, and Good 4 U (which is a certified bop) were clearly written from a place of hurt and in some ways were written to hurt. It’s no surprise that Joshua has dropped his duet with Sabrina Carpenter from his EP; someone on his team at least is trying to stop the damage to his reputation. There’s a decent chance that Olivia’s songs becoming such hits has irreparably damaged Joshua Bassett’s reputation among the same pool of largely young women that he’s targeting his music towards thereby cutting off his music career at the knees. If nothing else this behind the scenes drama should keep things entertaining for a while.

Until next week Wildcats 

[skitter-kitter]

Fic Masterlist

Most of my fics are listed here for the sake of organization! (Last updated 7/3/21)

MCYT 

New Beginnings

Technoblade (the streamer) is sent into the Dream SMP, and must rely on Dream to survive in this new world. (Set during Tommy’s Exile!) Lots of angst and codependency! There are currently four parts out of this series.

MimicVerse Knockoffs

A series of stories inspired by Subl1m1nals own series Mimic Verse, wherein an evil version of Technoblade takes his counterparts place. Tommy is the only one who notices Techno’s change in personality, and tries to prove to the rest of their friends that this is not their Technoblade. (Set outside of the Dream SMP!) Lots of angst and hurt/comfort from Subl1m1nal, and a ton of angst and pain from my series.

i will be changing soon

An SCP AU based on the Sleepy Bois Inc. Family Dynamic! Centered on Techno! A fair amount of angst and violence.

certain things will never go back to how they used to be

A fic based around Sam, Quackity, and Dream’s mentality during the first day of Quackity torturing Dream. Angst, with some blood and violence. 

phantom home

A character study based around Sam and his relationship with Las Nevadas and Pandora’s Vault. Lots of angst, and some pseudo-fluff.

bodies in the basement

A Sam-centric character study based around his torture of Ponk, Tommy’s death, and his relationship with Quackity. Angst, blood and violence! Read the tags!

refuge

A Quackity-centric fic about 3 times Sam helped Quackity and one time Quackity helped Sam. Lots of angst and violence, but with a happy ending!

indulging in you

A soulmate AU based around Schlatt and Quackity, and the impact that their soulmarks have had on one another. Angst and a character study! 

One Day (One Hour)

A Schlatt-centric fic about Schlatt being stuck in a time loop after his death. Lots of angst and manipulation from Schlatt!

the greatest sacrifice

A character study of Skeppy during his day trapped in the Egg, and what caused him to turn so apathetic toward everything he used to love. Angst, hurt no comfort!

A Single Orange Rose

A Fundy-centric fic based around Fundy and Dream’s marriage. Angst with a healthy dose of unhealthy relationships!

our home in hell

A fun fic based around Technoblade and Quackity both being raised in an illegal hybrid fighting ring. Lots of fluff, (because I lost motivation to write the chapter where the angst starts up) but a lot of violence and children getting hurt.

convalescence

A Tommy-centric fic based around five times Tommy got hurt, and the one time someone helped him. A lot of angst with some comfort at the end!

our patchwork family

A fic based on egare’s ( @elpalaccio ) chaos, she politely knocked, based on the mystery of where Tommy was staying while Quackity was dealing with Technoblade. This is a mix of a Tommy and Sam character study, with some angst and humor thrown in!

pawn to e8

A fic based on egare’s ( @elpalaccio ) chaos, she politely knocked, wherein Quackity is a shapeshifter and after the failed execution he is forcibly recruited by Dream. The original has a lot of angst and found family, and my fic carries the angst train by giving Quackity’s POV of his breakdown in chapter 11.

Best Friend

A Glatt-centric fic based around the idea that he’s forgotten his life before death, but unlike Ghostbur he is not remembered for the “good” he did in life. Lots of heavy angst!

evolution of the smartest

A Pokemon AU that centers around Technoblade and his journey to becoming champion! 

in my heart, in my hand

A Sapnap-centric fic wherein Quackity has been dead since Technoblade’s execution. Lots of angst and grief and major character death!

open arms

A fun cracky fic based around “what if Quackity proposed to all his enemies (and friends) and they had family reunions every few months”. Tons of fluff and fun! Oh also some Fundy angst lol

you could be happy

A Hogwarts AU that centers around Technoblade, a mis-sorted Hufflepuff, and Dream, a Slytherin, and their quest to find a spell to control others. Angst, with a character getting caught in a blizzard!

three of a kind

A fic inspired by dappledleave’s healing: achieved underground, a Quackity-centric fic based around his time in Pogtopia! Since it’s all Quackity’s POV I decided to do a character study for Schlatt, George, and Fundy from healing. Just some general angst!

your worst fears come true

A Sam-centric fic based around Wilbur’s revival, and Sam’s hesitation to kill the intruder at the time. An exploration of what would happen if Tommy died a second time in Pandora’s Vault. Lots of angst and completely canon divergent.

Love and Loss

A fic based around the theory that Sir Billiam III and Sheriff Sherman Thompson are brothers, and that John John is the Butler! Some fluff and some angst, plus some canonical major character death!

Badlands!Techno

A Techno-centric AU series where Technoblade joined the Badlands after the Red Festival! Mild angst!

heart and soul

A study of Techno’s relationship with the staff of Hypixel. Fluff and found family!

Star Wars

Domir

A fun peek into a “Maul trains Ezra” AU! Lots of angst and canon divergence!

Family Reunion

An AU wherein the Bridger’s take refuge with the Rebellion, after they believe their son has died. After fifteen years, they reunite with their son, who has become Maul’s apprentice in their absence. Lots of angst and feels!

a better version

A canon divergence of the “Visions and Voices” episode wherein Ezra manages to convince Maul to help him save Kanan and Sabine. Lots of angst and canon divergence!

our final night alive

A character study about Maul and Savage and brotherhood. Lots of angst, as is typical with these two.

nobody to love

An AU where during "Visions and Voices” Maul sees Savage’s ghost among the Nightsisters. Fairly short, but lots of angst.

fantasies of a better future

A fic inspired by @doorsclosingslowly​ ‘s fic Your death is a number but I cannot count that high which is a Savage Lived AU on angst steroids. My fic is an imagining of the reunion between Savage and Maul, before said scene was written! Lots of angst, as per usual.

acidic words

A fic about Dathomirian’s tattoos and how their meanings change in a world filled with soulmate-identifying marks. Some angst!

keep breathing

An AU wherein Ezra is found by the Inquisitors at a young age. Some fluff and angst, and a surprising amount of found family content!

legacy of kings

A fic based around the Haunted Dark Saber Theory (anyone who uses the Dark Saber can see/is possessed by the past users) wherein Maul becomes the Mand’alor, fights his former master, and loses his brother, all in a matter of hours. Mild angst.

standing on forgotten memories

An outsider POV of a Maul getting de-aged fic. Some angst and some vague mentions of Maul’s childhood.

the most honorable thing

A fic about Maul finding his way to the World Between Worlds, and saving his brother. Some angst with a happy ending!

Cardooine Chills

A sickfic with Savage taking care of Maul. Some angst and hurt/comfort.

Marble Hornets

heresy of heresies

Tim timetravels back to his childhood. Angst.

squeeze you empty

An Alex Lives AU wherein Liu Woods finds him in Rosswood Park. Blood, injury, and angst.

handfuls of dust

A sequel to squeeze you empty wherein Masky reunites with Alex. Angst.

who controls the past controls the future

Alex is stuck in a time loop based around the day Tim kills him. Angst and violence.

hold me close

A platonic soulmates AU. Lots of angst.

a smile, a hug

A fic about Masky being the Dad of Slender Manor.

flowers blooming, lungs aflame

Hanahaki Disease is a symptom of Slender Sickness. Angst.

a flare in the night

A fire starts in Slender Manor. Some mild angst.

Creepypasta

time heals no wounds

A fic about Sally and playing with the “a traitor in Slendermansion” trope. Lots of angst.

Harry Potter

just send me home

An AU wherein Harry is a seer working for Voldemort. Lots of angst and violence. Read the tags.

Warriors

Buteo Jamaicensis

A Hawkfrost character study. Heavy angst and hurt no comfort.

hand in unlovable hand

An AU of Into The Wild wherein Firepaw loses to Brokenstar, and is held captive by the Shadowclan leader. The fic is set many, many moons later and deals with the consequences of Firepaw being missing during that time. Lots of angst and major character death.

Déjà Vu

A fun Ashfur character study based around his time in Starclan and how he feels about Hollyleaf and Hawkfrost. Some angst and blood.

Pistanthrophobia

A fic about Hawkfrost being chosen for the New Prophecy quest instead of Brambleclaw. Lots of angst with a sprinkling of Riverclan loving Hawkfrost.

omitted from history

A fic about Feathertail meeting the original founders of the Clans. Some angst and fluff.

Tangled: The Series

Factory Reset

A fic about Varian getting his memory wiped during “Rapunzel’s Return”. Lots of angst.

Weeping Angels

A fic wherein Varian gets trapped in the amber instead of Quirin, and Quirin goes on a quest to the Dark Kingdom to free his son. Angst and emotional hurt no comfort.

love languages

A fic co-authored by my friend i_am_not_a_bird about the soulmarks of Rapunzel, Cassandra, Varian, Eugene, and all of the Brotherhood! Lots of angst, as per usual!

Axiom of Maria

A fic wherein I finally got Moonstone!Cassandra and Varian to team up against Rapunzel after four months of planning. Some angst, but mainly it’s a character study.

Gravity Falls

It’s Called: Freefall

A fic based around a Bill Wins AU, and a Dipper from that universe timetraveling back. Hopefully, to fix things. Lots of angst and violence, some character death.

burn you right up

A fic inspired by Child_OTKW’s Broken and Lost, a fic about Reverse Falls and how Weirdmageddon went in their universe. My fic was my own imagining of their childhood before the fic happened. Lots of angst and unhealthy relationships.

Heathers

Missing: Heather Chandler

A fic inspired by cipherdoodle’s The Ballad of Heather Chandler, my fic is set directly after Heather and JD go on the run and their resulting conversations. Lots of angst.

36 Questions

fondness is just another word for regret

A character study about Jase’s thought process during the two-year time skip. Mild angst.

Pokémon Mystery Dungeon

i’ll be by your side (even in death)

A character study about the relationship between the Player and Partner Pokémon after the Player’s “death”. Some angst and hurt/comfort and complicated relationships.

[kissinginkitchens]

You Bring Me Home—Chapter Two: Where the Heart Is

a/n: Thank you so much for all of the love you have shown to part one! I’m so glad to see that you’re enjoying YBMH so far, the story is just getting started. I hope you’ll stick around for the full thing, so without further ado, here’s chapter two! As always, my inbox is open so feel free to come chat with me when you have finished this part :) Much love, Mel <3

Pairing: Hawai'i!Harry x Original Character

Warnings: swearing, mentions of drug use

Word Count: 5.1k

read part one here

The phone screen flickers to life at the touch of Harry’s finger, flashing the exact same time that it had the last time he checked, though it feels like hours have passed since then. He sighs at the disappointing revelation and turns his phone over so that the screen meets the aged wood of the piano where it rests. In all honesty, Harry has no idea why he agreed to the interview in the first place. He had skillfully dodged the hundreds of requests for an exclusive tell-all following the untimely split of One Direction and successfully avoided the prying eyes of the general public for several months. So why had he indulged the first request from a girl he hardly knew without so much as a blink? The answer seemed a frustrating mystery to him, but to anyone else, the fluttering in his stomach when he caught a glimpse of her yellow Ford Bronco pulling up to the studio and the way he instinctively raked a hand through his hair gave the answer away.

“I know I’m late, I’m sorry!” Alani apologizes, emerging from the car with a notebook nestled under her arm and a smoothie in each hand. She closes the door with her hip before making a beeline to the studio entrance where Harry stands, his right shoulder leaning against the doorframe with the same stoic expression Alani recognizes as his signature look.

“I had to get my sister to cover for me at the café and then I got lost because Google sent me to a Napua restaurant instead of the recording studio,” she rambles in an attempted continuation of her apology. “But anyway, this is for you. A peace offering and a thank you for doing this.”

Harry gingerly takes the green smoothie from her outstretched hand and offers a curt nod in response before ushering her inside.Alani pushes her sunglasses up and settles them into her windswept waves, trailing behind Harry and taking in the space. In one corner across the room, she notices a couple of brightly colored tapestries thumbtacked to the wall with a microphone stand perched in the center, all encased behind a screen of plexiglass. The adjacent wall is lined with guitars all standing at attention and glimmering, despite the dim lighting. Harry stops at the doorway of another room with a couch and a coffee table, the floor littered with wires and pieces of crumpled paper. He motions Alani to step inside and then clears his throat, which catches the attention of two other long-haired men chatting with amused expressions on their faces.

“Sorry lads,” Harry crosses his arms with eyes glued to the floor to avoid their questioning stares. “‘Fraid I have to intrude. Can we have this room?” 

One of the men grins behind a full beard,  popping a peanut M&M into his mouth before standing. “Sure thing, boss man. Let’s bounce, Rowland.”

The other man, also bearded but smaller in stature with a thin, pointed nose nods silently. He continues twirling two drumsticks between his fingers and points one of them at Harry in passing. Alani offers polite smiles at the both of them, and a quiet “thank you” falls from her lips as they exit without another word. Harry closes the door behind them and gestures to the couch, which she takes as her cue to sit.

“I like the uniform,” Alani smiles, gesturing to her hair as a comment on the fact that the three men all share similar lengths and styles.

“Thanks,” is all Harry says, taking a seat across from hers and clearly dismissing her attempt at humor.

To pacify the urge to fill the uncomfortable silence, Alani sips her strawberry smoothie and steals a glance through her eyelashes at Harry who is doing the same. She clears her throat after a minute and sets the drink on the table in front of her; a notebook takes its place on her lap.

“Thank you again for doing this, I really appreciate it,” Alani offers while digging through her bag for her phone. “I’m gonna record this on voice notes, just for the sake of quoting you accurately.”

“Sure,” Harry replies, occupying his gaze with the condensation trickling from the cup onto his fading black jeans. 

Dry retorts from everyone else, especially customers, have little effect on the way Alani conducts herself.  But every short comment from Harry, or lack thereof, makes her feel like a bug under a microscope. She settles her phone onto the coffee table and takes a deep breath to calm the trembling that spreads from her chest into her fingers and toes.

“So first, I wanted to ask about your time in Hawai’i. Are you enjoying it so far?” Alani poses the question lightly, hoping to open him up just enough to extract the story that she’s really looking for.

“It’s nice,” Harry nods, finally meeting her expectant stare. When she doesn’t respond for a beat, he clears his throat and adds on to the statement. “Weather’s good,”

Alani musters a half-hearted smile and glances down at the questions on her page. This is going to take for-fucking-ever, she sighs.

“Is that what drew you here—vacation? Getting away?” 

“Yeah, pretty much,”

The row of guitars behind the singer catches her attention suddenly and guides the next question.

“And to write or.. record?”

Harry shifts in his seat, calculating his response carefully. “Both,”

“Solo stuff?”

Alani watches as he takes a slow sip of his smoothie and crosses his legs, an action which tells her that she’s struck a dead end. Or, at the very least, a door that she hasn’t gained his trust to open yet.

“You were with One Direction for half a decade,” She recovers. “Constantly releasing new music and touring. But now you’re here, doing neither, and haven’t done so for almost a year. What is that transition like?” Alani isn’t sure if Harry will answer when she poses the question, but to her surprise he meets her gaze and nods, as if to say that he accepts the inquiry.

“It’s different than anything I’ve ever done, for sure,” he starts slowly. It’d be a lie to say that he hasn’t given the breakup and, subsequently, his future outside of the band much thought. He thinks about it every day, especially his bandmates and their supportive fans. That much he has been able to unpack privately, but the rest of it—the sudden need to escape and write new music— is still something he can’t quite put into words, so he leans into the nostalgia and hopes it’ll suffice.

“Like you said, it’s been non-stop for the past five years, so I guess it is a bit jarring to come to a sudden halt after so much momentum. Obviously, it’s nice to have the time off, but I love putting out music and touring it. I wouldn’t trade that for anything,”

Alani is grateful to have more than a couple of words of material, despite the fact that it doesn’t really answer the question or tell her anything new about the man sitting crossed legged and closed off in front of her. Looking through her notes, Alani selects another question and embarks on a new angle.

“You were really young when all of that began,” she starts, thinking about how she could never have left her family and home at just 16. Hell, she was 22 and still figuring it out. Hopefully, if all things went well with this interview and Rolling Stone, she would finally find the opportunity to do it. “Do you ever think about where you would be if you hadn’t auditioned for X-Factor?”

Harry knows that she’s playing it safe, trying to feel him out and test the buttons she can push. He also knows that he’s being difficult, much more so than usual due to his nerves. So with an unfamiliar pang in his chest, he decides to relent the tiniest bit.

“Well, I’m starting to think maybe I could’ve been a professional surfer,” he offers matter-of-factly which makes Alani flash an amused grin. Harry’s sudden humor makes the room a bit less suffocating for the both of them and she’s grateful for it.

“Surfing, huh? This I have to see.” she  quips back, suddenly trying to picture him ditching the black skinny jeans for a wetsuit.

He nods with a faint smirk. “Maybe you will.” 

Alani meets his gaze with a shy smile of her own and her eyes fall to his lips for a brief second. The almost imperceptible action sends another foreign jolt through Harry’s chest. She opens her mouth to resume questioning when a loud bang startles them both and causes Harry to spin in his seat, looking through the glass window of the sound booth.

“Sorry!” A man with short, blonde hair and a fading tie dye shirt laughs while lifting the tipped over drum cymbals. “Don’t mind us!”

The two men from earlier straggle in behind and poorly conceal their own fits of laughter. Harry flashes his middle finger briefly, mouthing something that Alani can’t see but knows is undoubtedly rude. She suppresses a giggle and sneaks a glance at her phone, which indicates only a few minutes worth of dialogue. When she lifts her head, the door opens and the blonde man peeks his head in.

“Hello,” he greets with an extended hand before entering and taking a seat next to Alani on the couch. “Tom Hull, or Kid Harpoon...or just Tom, whatever you like best,” 

 She accepts his hand eagerly, not missing the way Harry pinches the bridge of his nose in her peripheral vision. “Mahealani Hale, or just Alani. Nice to meet you,”

“Wow, beautiful name,” Tom compliments. “Sorry to interrupt, I didn’t realize you had company, H,”

“She was just—”

“I’m writing about-” The two speak at the same time, making brief eye contact before Harry turns his attention back to Tom.

“Did you need something?” He asks. Tom’s eyes dart between Harry and Alani before he clears his throat and reclines in his seat.

“Just dropping by to see if you wanted to go for lunch...” he trails off, which Alani takes as a cue to start gathering her belongings.

“Kind of busy here,” Harry offers with a glance back at the girl seated awkwardly across from him. “Another time,”

At this, Tom turns to Alani and ignores his friend’s protests. “Alani, do you eat lunch?”

Before responding, she casts an apprehensive glimpse at Harry who has suddenly become very intrigued by the drink in his lap, purposefully avoiding her eyes.

“Uh.. well yeah, but I don’t-”

“Great! Have lunch with us,”

“Mate—” Harry speaks up.

Tom grins, shrugging. “What? You plan on starving the poor girl?”

“I really can’t, but thank you for the offer,” Alani explains with a sheepish smile, standing and slinging her bag over her shoulder. “It was really nice to meet you Tom. And thank you again, Harry, I’ll see you around.”

The musician watches her shuffle out of the sound booth quietly and turns his attention back at Tom, who sits with an incredulous look on his face.

“What the hell’s wrong with you?” He asks, standing. “Go after her, dickhead!”

“It’s not like that she’s-”

“I really don’t give a fuck about your excuses, go!”

Harry scoffs and rolls his eyes, looking out the window as Alani slips through the front door.

She fishes her keys out of her bag and sighs when a familiar voice says her name.

“Alani!” Harry calls from the doorway, shielding his eyes from the afternoon sun. He makes his way down the steps and over to the driver’s side where she  ghosts the key over the ignition. 

“Come have lunch...please?” 

“It’s okay,” she purses her lips together politely. “I don’t wanna get in the way,”

Harry catches his lower lip between his teeth and runs a hand through his hair, choosing his next words thoughtfully. 

“No, you’re not—you won’t,” he starts. “I would really like it if you joined us for lunch, especially since our time got interrupted. Please, let me make it up to you.”

Alani can’t help the way her stomach flips at the words “our time” that fall from his lips and she finds herself nodding in agreement before her mind has had a chance to intervene. 

She makes her way to the passenger seat of the Range Rover parked behind the studio, which she learns is where all of Harry’s entourage keeps their vehicles. A variety of brightly colored vintage cars are neatly parked, and it amuses her that Harry skips all of them, instead going straight for the black SUV with darkly tinted windows. At least he’s consistent,  she smirks. As Alani climbs into the car, she is met by the warmth of Harry’s scent—something woodsy and vanilla— and the fact that she recognizes it makes her heart pound.

“You can connect your phone,” Harry nods to the stereo as he buckles his seatbelt. “To the Bluetooth, I mean, if you’d like.”

 “Really?” she asks, brow raised in mild disbelief.

“Only if you play something good,” he teases with a stony expression, adjusting the sunglasses on the bridge of his nose. Alani takes that as a challenge, scrolling through various playlists as Harry peels away onto the main road. Over the speakers, the beginning of “Don’t Worry Baby” by The Beach Boys surrounds the two of them. 

“Is this to your liking, my liege?” Alani poses in an exaggerated British accent that makes Harry cringe, though the small grin on his face gives away his endearment.

“Yes, but please don’t do that accent ever again,” 

“So you admit it, you’re the one with the accent,” she wiggles her brows, eyes peeling away  from the view out her window to Harry in the driver’s seat.

“If it’ll get you to never do that one again, sure,” “Dunno, love,” she continues, watching the coast shimmer under the afternoon sun. “Think  it kinda suits me,”

Harry shakes his head and checks the rearview mirror to make sure that he hasn’t lost Tom, Mitch, and Jeff in the car trailing behind.

“What’s it like?” Alani questions, studying the perfect slope of his pointed nose and strawberry pout.

“What’s what like?”

“England,”

Harry thinks for a second, recalling his London flat, lunches with his mum and sister, the streets of Trafalgar Square, and Abbey Road. 

“Rainy,” is all he says.

Alani scoffs, which draws  his attention over to where she lounges in his passenger seat, sitting comfortably as if it was exactly where she belonged. “That’s all?”

“What?” He questions, though he knows exactly what she means and is perfectly aware of his own stubbornness.

“Just seems like... I don’t know, such a generic description for a place you consider home,”

Harry mulls her response over, the word “home” especially catching his interest. It’s a strange concept in his mind because while, yes, England is where he has spent the majority of his life and where the people he loves most reside, he has never truly felt connected to just one place. And after spending his formative years traveling the world, who could blame him?

“It’s... safe,” he tries again, attempting to verbalize what he’s feeling. “When I’m there, I mean, I feel safe. Like I don’t have to be anyone or do anything specific, I can just... be. No expectations,”

Alani lets Harry’s words sit between them for a moment, sensing that there is still more he wants to say. When she doesn’t respond after a minute,  he continues in an effort to clarify and fill the lull in the conversation.

“I used to think that London was just a starting point and that if I could make it to LA, it would mean that I had really made it, and I would feel more at home there,” he continues, slow and calculated. “But I dunno... when I’m there it still feels like an extended holiday,  like I’m just buying time until I leave for the next place. London doesn’t feel like that, feels much more constant... so yeah, I guess it is home,” 

As if she had read his mind earlier, Alani adds on. “Not to mention that’s where your family is, I’m assuming,” 

Harry nods, once again thinking of his mum and sister. The image of their beaming faces  brings the shadow of a dimple to his cheek.  “Yeah,”

“What’s your family like?” She continues, truly interested and forgetting for a moment about the article she still has to write.

“Kind of small, I guess. S’really just my sister and my mum, but they’re,” Harry pauses, searching for the right words, “They’re the best. My mum’s probably the kindest woman I’ve ever met. Feel pretty lucky with that one, considering what a pest I was as a child,” he chuckles lightly and it’s a sound that Alani hadn’t heard up to this point, but one she knows she’ll replay in her mind over and over again.

“Gem’s pretty patient too—and brilliant, always the studious one,” he adds finally, a dreamy look on his face that Alani much prefers to the stoic one he always dons. .

“Ah yes, there’s always one,” she nods, catching the quirked brow he offers in response.

“Oh yeah? Are you the one in your family?” 

“I guess so. School just seemed to come easily to me,”

“And what made you want to study journalism?” He questions, stopping to let a woman and her toddler cross.

Alani thinks about it for a moment while twirling a strand of fabric from the hem of her ripped shorts around her finger. 

“I’ve always loved to write, ever since I was really little— like short stories and stuff. And I don’t know, I guess I like the idea of traveling and seeking out a story, too.”

Harry nods understandingly, pulling up to a curb across the street from a restaurant that Alani has frequented. It’s relatively empty at Pineapples for a summer afternoon, though most tourists don’t stray too far from the beaches, so Hilo maintains a healthy local population at all times. The pair climb out of the car and Alani makes her way to the rear where the rest of the group has parked. One of the men from earlier greets her with an outstretched hand while Harry chats with the other two that emerge.

“Hi I’m Jeff, it’s nice to meet you.” He smiles warmly,  pushing his sunglasses into his hair. 

“Alani. It’s nice to meet you, Jeff,”

“Sorry about earlier. I didn’t mean to be rude by not saying hi it’s just-”

Alani dismisses his concern with a wave of her hand. “Oh don’t worry about it! I was kind of nervous then, too. I don’t know if he told you, but I’m interviewing Harry,”

“Oh, right! Yeah, he did mention that I think,” Jeff recalls, “Which magazine are you with?”

“None.” Yet, Alani thinks, her mind wandering to the Rolling Stone rejection letter. “It’s for a class, I’m a journalism major. Harry was just being nice and agreed to let me write about his music,”

Jeff nods. “Got it. You know, he’s not normally this serious. Just got a lot on his mind but he’ll loosen up,” he explains quietly just as Alani and Harry’s eyes meet. She quickly averts her gaze back to the kind, bearded man standing before her.

“Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind.” she smiles appreciatively.

“Where’s Jeffrey?” Harry speaks up, catching her attention. She looks back to Jeff, confused, before he shakes his head.

“Other Jeff, his manager.” He explains.

“Probably already inside, he said he’d meet us here.” Mitch pipes up.

With that, the rest of the crew head into the restaurant while Alani stays a few steps behind to follow their lead.

“Y’okay?” Harry asks, shuffling along beside her.

Alani startles slightly at his unexpected presence, but relaxes as their strides fall into sync.

“Yeah, thanks. And thank you for the invite, too.” She offers, the corners of her mouth upturned softly.  Harry responds with a tight-lipped smile of his own and clears his throat before holding the door open for her.

In the far corner of the restaurant near the open balcony, Harry’s manager Jeff waves the group over to the table he saved. Everyone exchanges greetings and settles into their seats, the two at the end facing each other remain open for Alani and Harry.

“Jeff, this is..Mahealani, did I get that right?” Tom gestures to Alani for approval.

She nods and waves. “Yes, but you can just call me Alani,”

“Nice to meet you,” Jeff calls from the other end of the table, glancing over to Harry in search of  an explanation for her presence.

“I’m writing a piece about Harry and his music,” Alani offers. “But I’d love to talk to all of you, if you have a chance.”

Jeff nods, still shooting Harry a knowing look. “Yeah, sure thing.” 

The two Jeffs, Tom, and Mitch engage in their own conversations, mostly inside jokes that go over Alani’s head. Harry watches, silent for most of the interaction and barely engaging the girl seated across from him, though he is overwhelmingly aware of her presence. When the server comes to take their order, warmth floods to Alani’s cheeks.

“Alani, hey!” the tall server greets, flashing a handsome, pearly-white smile. “Long time, no see. You’re looking good as always,”

“Mahalo, David. You look good, as well,” She smiles politely, catching onto the way that Harry sits a little straighter in her peripheral vision. David still pays no regard to the rest of the table, but his gaze momentarily flickers over Harry and sizes him up before returning to Alani.

“Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t realize you were on a date,” he apologizes, which makes Alani’s eyes bulge  and Mitch snicker beside her. 

“Oh no, we’re not—“

“He’s just—” Alani and Harry speak at the same time, eyes darting to one another before she explains.

“I’m... working on something—an article,” she says, and David nods understandingly.

“Oh...right. Big-shot reporter, I almost forgot,” David teases in a snide way that makes Harry’s blood boil with annoyance. “Anyways, what can I get you all? The usual for you, right Alani?”

She nods curtly while the rest of the group take turns ordering. After the server has gone,  Harry notices a shift in her easy-going demeanor and decides that it’s his turn to break the ice.

“Come here often then?” He poses gently, taking a sip of his lemonade.

Her lips press into a tight line as her eyes wander to the other patrons. “Yeah, kinda,”

“Asshole ex-boyfriend ruined that, I’m guessing?”

Alani lets out an amused breath and shakes her head.

“He’s not my ex. I mean we went out, like, once in high school... and maybe a handful of times in college but that’s it, really,” 

Harry studies the uneasiness in her expression trying, and failing, to understand what she’s holding back.

“Seems like you dodged a bullet,” he confides, leaning in. Alani’s eyes meet his and her pursed lips ease into a small grin, which Harry mirrors with a simper of his own. As he rests his smooth chin in his palm, she notices a large, healing scab along the underside of his forearm, and her brows furrow.

“How’d that happen?” Alani asks.

“He jumped out a window,” Mitch intervenes. “Though to be fair, he was high,”

Harry shoots a deathly glare at Mitch and turns back to Alani. “It was a one-time thing.”

“It was shrooms,” Mitch replies with an amused smirk.

“Hardcore,” Alani giggles lightly. 

Mitch swirls the straw in his mimosa with his index finger while extending a pinky at Alani. “You do drugs?”

She shrugs, taking a sip of her Mai Tai. “Smoked weed a few times, though not enough to consider myself a pothead, I guess,”

Mitch snorts and steals a glance at Harry. “Pot makes our boy sleepy, and hungry. Alcohol makes him giggly. Shrooms get him buzzed just right,”

Harry’s cheeks flush and he averts his gaze past Alani where families and visitors roam the streets outside. 

“Jumping out a window’s  ‘just right’? I’d hate to see what going overboard looks like.” she teases, watching the blush of embarrassment creep across the bridge of Harry’s nose and cheeks.

“Keeps things interesting.” Mitch shrugs, turning back to Jeff to join his previous conversation.

 Alani feels a strange sense of endearment wash over her at the thought of a giggly Harry, dimples replacing a deeply furrowed brow. In the short time she’d known and served him at the café, she’d only ever seen him reserved—polite, at best. Alani had hoped that interviewing Harry would provide some insight into his mysterious background, but she didn’t imagine that she would want to know more than what could be penned in her article. In the few minutes spent mingling with him and his friends, she began to think that maybe there was something worth getting to know, not just professionally, but before she can give it a second thought, David returns with their food.

“Thanks, Derek.” Harry says, flashing a facetious grin at David who stands confused for a second before sauntering back to the kitchen. Alani laughs, quickly clasping a hand over her mouth, and Harry’s stomach flips at the sound. He immediately wishes he knew what else he could do to hear it again.

Alani scrapes the last bits of potato off her plate and leans back in her seat, patting her growing food baby. 

“I’m thinking of naming mine Oliver, you?” She sighs contentedly. 

“Anne, after my mum,” he quips back, pulling out his wallet.

Alani reaches into her bag for her own, but Harry shakes his head and speaks up. “Don’t worry about it, ‘s on me,”

“Oh, no Harry you really don’t have to—”

“I don’t mind,” he shrugs, slipping his card onto the small clipboard attached to their receipts.

“Thank you,” Alani smiles, feeling warmth spread through her limbs, but she assumes that it’s mostly due to the rum in her system.

Harry pushes a lock of hair behind his ear and returns the wallet to his back pocket without another word. While there is no alcohol coursing through his blood, he refuses to believe that the burning in his cheeks has anything to do with the girl seated before him.

Alani climbs back into the passenger’s seat of the SUV while Harry settles behind the wheel. He braces his right hand behind the headrest of her seat and skillfully reverses, only becoming aware of their proximity when he turns back to switch gears. Alani peels her eyes from his and focuses on finding a playlist for their journey back to the studio, her mind racing as she clicks shuffle. Harry’s arm retreats, much to Alani’s disappointment, and his ears perk up when he hears the familiar chimes at the beginning of Fleetwood Mac’s “Everywhere”.

“‘S a good one,” Harry breaks the silence, tapping on the steering wheel. “Christine always says it’s her favorite,”

“Christine...McVie?” Alani questions with an eyebrow quirked. “You know Christine McVie?”

“Kind of,” he shrugs, the corners of his lips twitching into a smirk.

“Do you know Stevie Nicks?”

“Yeah. She lives in London,”

“Holy shit!” Alani marvels, covering her mouth in excitement.

Harry chuckles lightly, stealing a glance over at Alani still processing the news. “Big fan?” 

She whips her head away from the window and scoffs. “Massive. Named my car Stevie, actually,”

“Hardcore,” Harry teases, echoing her own comment about his psychedelic escapades.

“Yes, Mr. Spider-Man. In my own right, I suppose it is hardcore,” Alani retorts.

“I thought  Spider-Man climbed buildings. Don’t think he jumped out of them.”

“I’m sure he’s done his fair share of both.”

The two drive down the coast for a while without a word, Harry drumming against the steering wheel as the song dies out while Alani soaks in the view outside her window. Suddenly, she reaches over and taps him on the arm, drawing him out of his reverie. 

“Turn right up there!”

“Why?” Harry asks, already putting his blinker on. 

Alani doesn’t say anything, but she doesn’t need to. Harry saw it just seconds after turning into the lookout and it left him breathless. The car comes to a stop and Alani wastes no time unbuckling her seatbelt and stepping into the humid air, Harry close behind. Before them, the biggest rainbow either of them had ever seen shimmers in the high afternoon sun like a wall of unbelievable vibrant hues. Harry had never seen one this close, he felt as though he could reach out and feel each color slip through his fingers. 

“Are you making a wish?” Alani asks reverently, as if raising her voice too loud will spook it away. 

“I thought that was for shooting stars,”

“We’re literally staring face to face with a rainbow and you’re gonna argue with me about the logistics of a wish?”

“Okay, okay,” he relents, grinning to himself as his eyes flutter close. 

Harry takes a deep breath and searches his brain for something, anything, but there is only one word pounding in his mind. He doesn’t know why it stood out to him when Alani first said it, but it struck a chord within him that hasn’t stopped reverberating, so it must mean something. Harry swallows the lump forming at the back of his throat and releases the breath he didn’t realize he had been holding. When his eyes flutter open again, he steals a peek through the corner of his eye at the girl beside him and then fixes his gaze back on the rainbow. 

“S’quite big, innit?” He remarks, breaking the reverent silence. 

Alani snorts and shakes her head, turning on her heel back to the car. 

“You’re so eloquent. Can’t wait to hear what lyrical gems are hiding in your new album,”

“Heyyy,” Harry pouts, climbing behind the wheel. “Who said anything about an album?” 

As they peel away from the lookout, Harry can sense something has shifted in the atmosphere, though he can’t quite put his finger on it. He opts to ignore it and poses a lighthearted question instead. 

“What’d you wish for?”

Alani narrows her eyes playfully. “You’re not supposed to tell. It won’t come true.”

Harry hums, trying to imagine what she could possibly wish for that would require such secrecy, but his thoughts wander back to the singular word that has haunted his mind since it left her lips. 

Home.

Next Chapter

[bellamioneotp]

Bellamione Fic Master List

Making a list of Bellamione fics to guide the poor innocent souls into temptation organize stories based on AU type. 

DARK AU’s

Bellatrix isn’t a bright ball of sunshine, but rather than have a story where she becomes a better person, Hermione becomes like her, or even joins her side. This AU type isn’t limited to only that, but also to general dark themes in the story such as violence, war and ‘wtf this is so wrong but yet I can’t stop reading’. 

Reign Down Like wow. A whole world built around what if Voldemort survived and used Hermione in his evil schemes and had Bellatrix engaged to her. Very detailed and the author doesn’t hold back on aspects of the new world that can be somewhat unsettling. 25/10 this will leave you wondering just how sexy dark magic can truly feel. 

The Dark Corners of the Earth This one is dark in an entirely different sense. Bellatrix and Snape are pitted in an ancient war against one another and Hermione is caught in the middle. The romance moves a bit too fast paced for me but the lore and detail in this will have you really thinking this story over the next few days, trying to figure out just wtf is going on. 45/10 will have you hoping your nightlight can keep Cthulhu away. 

Haunted This story won’t leave you haunted, but it is pretty good even with it’s short chapters and all. It tells the story of Hermione sort of losing her marbles but I won’t get into too much detail. Just read it for yourself; it’s a quick easy read. 10/10 is poetic as fuck. 

I Dream of Sin Takes place in a sort of canon world in which Hermione is an American teen being bullied. You can imagine how well that goes for the bullies especially when she learns she has magic and is taught by Bellatrix herself on how to use it. It gets progressively darker each chapter. 16/10 don’t want to mess with magical nerds ever. 

For whom the Bell Tolls is an interesting look into how Hermione’s actually a death eater and Bellatrix is not. While Hermione is not bat shit insane, she is a murderer and Bellatrix is the sane one. Nice to see things switched up. This story is not necessarily as dark as the others but it gets brownie points for making the usually good Hermione evil right off the bat. 9/10 come to the dark side, we have cookies. 

Staring at Nothing is just...wow.  A very powerful one shot about Hermione’s descent into darkness as told by Harry’s perspective. 10/10 for who needs friends anyways, when you’ve got black leather. 

Visions of You in which Hermione is a depressed youth after the war and has to deal with hallucinations of Bellatrix. Hermione isn’t dark here so much as she is gray type, and the story has a permeating tinge of sadness to it, given the circumstances. 8/10 for maybe Bellatrix isn’t a hallucination? 

Deep Below what’s more awful than being accused of Harry’s death? Being falsely accused of it, and having to deal with trying to prove your innocent. This is a situation Hermione ends up in. But will she get out of it? 8/10 for this gets deep. 

How to Love Bellatrix captures Hermione and sort of indoctrinates her into the world of darkness. Hermione is mad at first, but then she realizes how sexy Bellatrix is and is like, ‘alright fam, sign me up’ and boom Bellamione. 8/10 you love this story but not it’s update schedule. 

TIME TRAVELER AU’s

Basically, what it says on the tin. Someway or another, Hermione goes back into time to stop Bellatrix from ever becoming evil. Drama and romance ensue. 

Future Shocks A good time turner fic with a more modern take on war. It’s pretty long and it is the slowburn of all slowburns. But it’s a very interesting story and the ending will have you definitely shook. 8/10 will shock you awake from that boring lecture you’re reading fanfic in. 

Time Heals all Wounds Hermione gets sent back in time to ‘redeem’ Bellatrix but not in the gift card way, more like saving the future type way. They end up, you guessed it, falling in love and changing the future somewhat. 6/10 is a young teen romance that will have you reliving your adventures as a young sapphic witch. 

Mirror, Mirror Not exactly a time turner fic, more like a parallel world, I suppose. Hard to explain but has good amounts of mystery and trying to understand what is happening. Focuses more on Bellatrix’s POV which is a nice change of pace. 8/10 will have you looking in the mirror and summoning Bellatrix like she was Bloody Mary. 

Let the Light Come and Take me A time turner fic that ends up with Bellatrix time traveling but to the future and the chaos her arrival there causes for those who are acquainted with her devious ways. Looks at the growth of our two ladies relationship into something more. 5/10 if it’s not slowburn romance is it really Bellamione?

The One Within the Other this story is about, you guessed it, time travel! Hermione goes back on purpose to stop Bellatrix from achieving her evil potential and in the process love blossoms. 7/10 for never enough time to read Bellamione in peace!

Caught in the Time series this is a series of three full length stories about Bellamione stuck in different times and universes. So much happens in them it’s kind of hard to summarize so the best thing to do is read them. 8, 8.5, 7/10 I’ll let you figure out which score goes for which series.

Just say When started off as a time turner story but then it ended up becoming something more of an espionage tale. It’s a good read and interesting to see how Bellatrix aims to save Hermione from a dementor’s kiss (spoilers!) in order to save their future together. A good mix of romance and action. 8/10 The name’s Black. Bellatrix, Black. 

The Broken Wand It all starts with a wand and then before you know it, boom, time travel happens. Featuring Loki and adventure all around, this fic has interesting plot points to keep you engaged despite the slower update times. 7/10, will break your wand too. 

Hourglass basically, a young Bellatrix is brought into the future and consequences abound from that mishap. The plot is a bit wonky and there are some logic mistakes, but if you can get over it, it’s a decent time travel story. 5/10 for it must be canon that Bellatrix has a lovely hourglass figure. 

Times they are a Changing where Bellatrix travels back in time to save her wife, Hermione. Nice to see a story where Hermione isn’t the one doing all the saving. Unfortunately there’s only six chapters to this story and it’s unlikely it’ll ever get finished but it’s a nice fresh concept. 6/10 for that’s how many chapters there are. 

Destined in this one, Hermione experiences some wonky times after the battle at the department of mysteries. Hermione has to find a way back home, but perhaps she might find love along the way? 10/10 for this is destined to be an interesting read. 

HEALER AU’s 

Let’s be real, Bellatrix has got a lot of problems and these authors try to solve them, with sex. And you know, medical help. But sex definitely helps a lot. 

Portrait of a Tragic Woman Not a typical healer type au, because Hermione is a therapist whose helping Bellatrix with her mental disorders. Focuses a lot on the relationship between the two and really makes you try to figure out what exactly is up with Bellatrix and what is her past, etc. The ending chapters will leave you shooketh and wondering what even is real anymore. 50/10 because it feels like an acid trip, man. 

The Healer is only one chapter but still worth a read. Hopefully the author will have some time to get back to it because it has a huge potential. 6/10 because I need some healing. 

1k is a one shot, featuring Hermione as a therapist and Bellatrix as her patient. Can’t say too much without spoiling it, but despite it’s short length, the author paints a vivid look into Bellatrix’s mind if she was just an insane muggle. 1k/10 because that’s one patient I would never like to meet.

Darkness Underneath I mean, Hermione runs a team of healers, so technically it’s kinda a healer au fic, right? This story looks more in depth at the Death Eaters and dark magic surrounding them. 9/10 is that a dark mark or are you just happy to see me?

TEACHER AU

We all know this is the holy grail au of this fandom and yet there’s only a couple of long stories for this. Someone, write some more!

Fractures A long fic, that has a sequel. Basically, Bellatrix is Hermione’s teacher during a very trying time for Hermione when a competition goes very wrong and dark truths are revealed. Lot’s of action, Bellamione interactions, and overall interesting plot. 8/10 will leave your heart in fractures when you find out the sequel is unfinished. 

In the Dead of Night Hermione asks Bellatrix if she can teach her some.....magic and things end up becoming very magical indeed. Bellatrix is the teacher in this story (because who wouldn’t want her as a teacher). It’s a WIP with only a couple of chapters out. 7/10 time to learn some real lessons, Granger ;)

Just a Brand features not only Bellatrix as a professor, but a magical soul mate bond between Bellatrix and Hermione that leads to much deliciousness. There’s a lot of chapters to this story but they’re pretty short. An updated and revised version can be found on a03 for those who like longer chapters. 7/10 Bellamione is branded on my soul. 

It Just Felt Right is another fic with Bellatrix as the professor. Hermione starts off hating her and then it evolves into liking Bellatrix. The fic leaves off before any real progress can be made so if anyone is up for reading an unfinished fic from 2012 then go for it. 6/10 for this story feels right but not write because it’s abandoned :(

CRIME AU 

Because there is never enough crime involved even with Bellatrix, these authors amp up the trouble and make it double. And gay. So very gay. 

Two Sides of the Same Coin where Bellatrix is basically an auror. It’s only five chapters and it hasn’t been updated in a long time but it’s an interesting concept worth checking out. 9/10 wish there were more sides to the coin. 

Murder Most Horrid A crime story, where Bellatrix is a magical cop and Hermione is a murder suspect. Bellatrix interrogates Hermione by banging her and then the two of them proceed to basically get married the day after. A bit ooc for Bellatrix but very in character if you consider this world not from the canon. -89/10 for how badly your vision will deteriorate if you try to read this all in one night. 

The Mysterious Department Technically Bellatrix and Hermione are both magical detectives and they go and solve crimes and shit while also possibly trying to prevent the world from ending. You know, just casual stuff. 10/10 for the perfect crime, would commit again. 

Darkness is Falling A story that has Hermione as an auror who replaces Bellatrix’s old partner. They butt heads, they solve cases, and naturally, begin to fall in love. 7/10 for this case is closed. 

Some Things Aren’t Seen Hermione investigates Bellatrix’s crimes and past and ends up over her head. There are two follow ups to this finished work, all in the same vein. It’s all a good bit of fun watching Hermione try to take on the criminal Lestrange. 7/10, no, this has no relation to the musical Wicked. 

SOUL MATE BOND 

In one way or another Bellatrix and Hermione have a special bond in between them that destines them to be together. Angst, love, friendship, all abound in this au type. Features a combination of other factors thrown in, but the stories put in here are largely advertised in the blurb as more focused on the bond. 

Lotus Flower Hermione finds out after Bellatrix’s death that they are bound together and that because Bellatrix is dead, Hermione is dying as a result too. This begs the question, will Hermione go back in time and save Bellatrix, or will she willingly submit to the bond’s curse? 8/10 I think we all know what Hermione chooses.

Our Mercurial Selves ever wonder what it would be like to have a murderer share your mind? In this one, Hermione and Bellatrix can communicate telepathically with each other, creating a bond that draws them together. Features evil schemes by Voldemort, a flying horse, and Narcissa beating the ever loving shit out of Bellatrix for even daring to breathe in Hermione’s direction. 9/10 will leave you with warm fuzzies for the Malfoy family before the ending crushes you. 

The House Ring Bellatrix sends Hermione a magical ring that engages them and basically makes them wives. Prophecies abound about how Bellamione is meant to be the one and only true pairing. 7/10 for that ring better come with diamonds.

Demons AU

As if Voldemort isn’t scary enough, there are demons and scary things in this au type that will leave you and Voldemort both calling for mommy. 

Unsteady Precipice technically also a time traveling fic, except Hermione ends up in an alternative universe. where she tries to change things from happening in the canon world like they did. But will it work? Who knows! Only a few chapters are out so it’s hard to tell where this story will go, but one things for sure, it’ll be good. 9/10 if you don’t pray after reading this the demons will get you. 

A Demon in the Mist is also about, gasp, demons! Dangerous things are afoot in this story and Hermione is caught in the middle of it all. It takes part in the same universe as the caught in time series by the same author, but with slight alterations. Unsure if the story will be finished as the author has contemplated leaving fanfic writing. 7/10 can you find the demon in the mist?

MAGICAL CREATURES AU

Technically a category, right? Let’s pretend it is, because there are some stories out there that pit our two ladies as other than human and it’s fun to read about it. 

As we Chase the Sun Very Black family centric and features Bellatrix as a big fluffy wolf. What’s not to love? Cuddles, and hair balls, and good times all around. 9/10 would tame that wolf. 

Sing to me Your Insanity in which Hermione and Bellatrix are both sirens and will basically die if they don’t do the ol’ frickity frack. This is a long story and the slowburn feels like hellburn but it’s worth the read. 56/10 but you will need earplugs so those sirens don’t seduce you too. 

Metamorphosis in which Bellatrix is also a wolf and doesn’t like being stuck with Hermione but gets used to it and basically they’re house wives of London and don’t know it. 8/10 for your mind with undergo metamorphosis from slightly obsessed with Bellamione to even more obsessed. 

This Poisoned Blood of Ours vampires, vampires everywhere! Two parts to this series and features a confused Bellatrix and a changing Hermione. 7/10 do you think vampires like steak rare?

Cursed Doll Pretty self explanatory title. Someone ends up as a doll and shenanigans ensue. Won’t say more because it’s only two chapters, but it’s well written and worth a read. 10/10 Chucky? Is that your sister? 

Liquid Measure these chapters are thicc boy. Only two chapters but such a good set up and everything. I hope the author is able to update at some point. 10/10 makes me thirsty for more!

My Demons in the Dark Hermione is a ghost. That’s it, that’s the plot. Boo/10 for this not so spooky spirit. 

[1dffchallenges]

Growing Pains

Written By: @rosegoldsweetpea​

Characters: (Daniella/Harry)

Summary: When a wish on a sixteenth birthday candle goes wrong, Daniella finds herself ten years into the future. Navigating a new boyfriend, her best friend who is no longer her best friend, and her crumbling relationship with her family, Daniella finds out that adulthood is not everything she ever imagined.

A “13 Going on 30″ AU

Warnings: Language

I had boobs.

I should preface this by saying that I’ve technically always had boobs. They existed before this moment. But they had always been tiny. They were what my mother affectionately called “mosquito bites.” As I held my new boobs in my hands, however, I could tell these were not mosquito bites. These were actual boobs that I saw on models in magazines. I wasn’t wearing a bra— which I hadn’t needed to wear anyway because the size of my boobs had always left something to be desired. Lifting my silk sleep shirt away from my boobs, I examined every inch of them. Sure enough, there was a small scar underneath, like someone had cut my boob open with a knife. 

“I got a boob job?” I whispered to myself.

“What did you say, babe?”

Along with suddenly having boobs, apparently there was someone in my house.

I screamed at the top of my lungs, the one thing my father taught me to do whenever there was a stranger around me. The man standing behind me had floppy brunette hair and tattoos covering his arms. Definitely not someone who would ever be allowed in my house, per my father’s rules. In fact, I think my father would have an aneurysm if I ever brought home a boy that had tattoos. This mystery boy’s eyes widened when I screamed in his face. “Babe, are you okay?” He moved like he was going to rush over to me and I took an immediate leap back.

“Who are you? Why are you in my house?” My voice screeched out, reaching an octave I knew was probably unpleasant to his ears. 

His eyebrows furrowed. “What do you mean?” He moved again, but I was quick to mirror his movements, scooting backwards. I nearly fell on my ass because there was a couch in the way of my step, but I managed to right myself before I did any real damage. “Daniella, are you okay?”

“How do you know my name?” I asked, grabbing the nearest object to use as a weapon. It happened to be a pillow, so it wasn’t very effective, but it made me feel better. I could throw it at him and block his vision while I found the kitchen in this place and got a knife. “Who are you?” I asked again.

“Liam. Your boyfriend of three and a half years.”

“I don’t know a Liam!” I argued, throwing the pillow in his direction. I didn’t stick around to see if he caught it or not before I was tumbling through the house. I wasn’t familiar with the layout of this house, like I had been with the floorplan of my childhood home, which I was fairly certain I had fallen asleep in last night. This was some kind of apartment, decorated with too many neutrals for my taste. There was a giant mirror I passed by, decorated around its edge with swirling cream wood and gold accents. I managed only a glance in its reflection as I moved, but what I saw made me stop in my tracks. 

In the reflection was me, only it wasn’t me. Last I remembered, I did not have a boob job, my hair was short, and my eyebrows had looked horrendous because I had accidentally plucked them too much. This Daniella had long hair that fell to her lower back and her eyebrows looked like they had been recently waxed. And then there was, obviously, the boob job. “What the hell is going on?” I exclaimed, sure that this mirror was some fancy one that only Bill Gates owned. It showed you what you wanted to look like. Or, if it was a real mirror and not a billionaire one, it was obviously broken or something. 

“Daniella, sit down,” Liam said placatingly, his voice soft and soothing. He didn’t touch me, which I appreciated, but he kept his arms out in the likely case that I would fall to my knees as I dragged myself to the tan couch in the middle of the living room of the random apartment. “Do you need water? Did you have a bad dream?”

“I don’t know what’s happening,” I stuttered out, my breathing coming quickly. I hadn’t had a panic attack since I was thirteen, when I had thought my best friend Harry was going to move away. “Where am I?”

“You’re in your apartment.” Liam gently sat on the couch next to me. “I woke up and you were gone. Then I came out here and you’re just standing in the living room. Do you think you had a sleepwalking episode?”

I didn’t sleepwalk. At least, I didn’t think I did. But this Liam guy was insinuating that I did, in fact, sleepwalk often enough for him to be concerned about it. “You’re really my boyfriend?” I asked hesitantly, my breathing still shallow. “You didn’t try to drug me and kidnap me, right?”

“What?” The word left his mouth in such a surprised and offended tone that I knew it wasn’t true. “No.”

“Tell me facts about myself, so I know you aren’t just lying,” I demanded, trying to keep my tears at bay and my breath from coming in and out shallowly.

He didn’t even take a second to think. “Your name is Daniella Araceli Rodriguez. Your birthday is February first. Your mother’s name is Alejandra. You once threw up on a cast member at Disneyland. When you were younger, you wanted to be a veterinarian, but then found out that they were the ones who euthanized animals and you started crying. You broke your arm in the seventh grade because your old best friend Harry dared you to flip over some monkey bars and you fell.” 

Okay, so obviously this boy knew me. Either that, or he was a fantastic stalker. 

“Liam, I think I’m going crazy,” I whispered, assured at least a little that this Liam guy actually knew me. “The last thing I remember is my sixteenth birthday. My friend Harry was there, and some girls from my school. Gianna’s brother was bringing beer...” I trailed off.

“How about I call Gianna? I’m sure she’d be able to help you. I want you to stay on the couch until she gets here, okay? I don’t think it’s a good thing you can’t remember anything.”

“I’m still friends with Gianna?” I asked breathlessly.

Liam’s brows furrowed again. “Babe, Gianna is your best friend. I’m gonna go call her, okay? Maybe she can call into work for the two of you.”

I could do nothing but nod as Liam stood from the couch and made his way over to the kitchen counter. I could see his phone resting there and a little tiny key rack with two sets of keys in it. Obviously, this Liam guy and I were very close. Close enough, I noticed, for us to live together. Upon my survey of the apartment, I realized there were pictures of us plastered everywhere, as well as a pretty cocoa-skinned girl with wild curls. Her face was familiar to me, albeit a little bit older. So Liam hadn’t been lying. I was really still friends with Gianna.

Harry was nowhere in the pictures.

This was weird to me for two reasons. First of all, Harry loved being in photos. Though we had both been pretty nerdy in high school, he was the life of the party. So I found it hard to believe he would have stayed out of the pictures that were now decorating my living room. The second reason I found it weird was because Harry was my best friend in the entire world. 

The circumstances of my friendship with Harry went as follows: we met in kindergarten when a nasty first grader had stolen my lunch in the cafeteria and Harry had stood up to him. The first grader ended up punching him in the nose. I had felt so bad that I had burst into tears and held up the end of my shirt for Harry to use as a tissue to block the blood as we awkwardly stumbled to the nurse’s office. Our mothers had arrived there at the same time, Anne Styles freaking out because her son’s nose was bleeding and my own mother Alejandra freaking out because the bottom of my shirt was bloody.

The next day, I asked my mother to make another sandwich and pack extra oreos. I sat next to Harry at lunch and thanked him for being so nice. And thus, our friendship had begun. 

It only grew stronger when I realized that he lived down my street, just a short walk and even shorter bike ride away. There wasn’t a day that went by where I wasn’t begging my parents to ride down to Harry’s house. Their answer was usually different renditions of “if Anne is okay with it, then we are too” and since Anne Styles was an angel on Earth, she was usually okay with it. 

“Babe,” I heard Liam say from the kitchen. He seemed to be off the phone, if him holding it in his hand was anything to go by. “Gianna called the both of you out of work and is on her way here.”

“Okay,” I mumbled, “are you gonna be here too?”

A guilty look crossed his face. “I...can be if you need me.”

“What do you do?”

He looked concerned again. As he should be. If he was telling the truth and we had been dating for the past three and a half years, shouldn’t I know what he did for work? “I’m a foster care recruiter.”

My mouth fell open. I was sure I looked like a fish. I was apparently dating someone who was incredibly good-looking, seemed nice, and worked as a foster care recruiter? “That sounds like a pretty important job. You should go.”

“You’re pretty important to me, too,” he argued.

“I’ll be fine. Really. I...remember Gianna and I’ll probably be more comfortable with her around anyway.” He still looked hesitant, so I reached out and grabbed his hand in my own. His fingers dwarfed mine. “Go. I’m fine. Hopefully Gianna can help me sort this out.”

He looked like he wanted to kiss me, but thought better of it. Instead, he pressed a hesitant kiss to my knuckles. “Alright. I’ll be back around six, okay? If you need me at all, call me. I’m serious, babe. My boss will understand.”

“I will.” Releasing his hand, I gave him a wobbly smile. I wondered if he could tell I was about to burst into tears. “I promise.”

Liam seemed as if he’d rather be shot in the foot than leave my side when I was so obviously going through something neither of us knew how to deal with, but he nodded and stood from the couch. He grabbed one set of the keys on the little rack and put his phone in the pocket, grabbing a blazer from a fancy and antique looking coat rack near the front door. “I’ll see you later, okay?”

“Okay,” I whispered pathetically.

And then the door closed behind him.

I spent the next twenty minutes trying to think about the last thing I remembered. We were having a sixteenth birthday party for me in the basement of my childhood home, and I had invited Gianna and a couple of her friends over. Obviously, Harry was there. We were setting up beer pong because Gianna insisted her brother would get us actual beer to play with. Harry had given me a beautiful mini-model of the house he was working on for his theatre tech class. It was pretty much his dream to become a set designer for theatre and cinema. He had produced a small strawberry cupcake from the fridge we had in the basement, which was my absolute favorite flavor in the world. 

What the hell had I wished for when I had blown out the candle? I couldn’t remember.

A knock on the door cleared the fog of my memory, and it was like I couldn’t stand up fast enough. It also felt like my legs were like jelly. By the time I made it to the door, I wouldn’t have been surprised if two minutes had passed even though the walk was only about twenty feet. Yanking it open, I was met with the familiar face of my friend from high school, holding two iced coffees and a little bakery bag. The second she saw me, she smiled.

“Hi, sweetie. You remember me, right? Liam said you were fuzzy on some things.”

I didn’t answer. I just threw myself into her arms.

“Oh thank God,” she cried out, wrapping her arms around me and squeezing me as tightly as she could manage. “I would have burst into tears if you said you didn’t remember me.” We stood there clinging to each other, forgetting that the iced coffee was melting and dripping condensation down my back. “I brought you an orange cranberry scone, your favorite. Hopefully this helps.”

I didn’t remember orange cranberry being my favorite. But this was Gianna, and I trusted her a hell of a lot more than I trusted myself right now.

“What is the last thing you remember?” she asked me when we settled onto my couch, the coffee and scone putting something in my empty stomach and making me feel a little better. “And don’t even worry about Nick being upset. I told him that you were having a family emergency.” I didn’t know exactly who Nick was, but using context clues, I was able to guess he was my boss.

“The last thing I remember is my sixteenth birthday party.”

She wrinkled her nose. “Funny. I would have thought you wouldn’t remember that. We got absolutely plastered.”

I didn’t even remember that. Harry gave me his mini-model house, I blew out the candle on my cupcake, my mother and I got into an argument about something…

“I wished my mom would start treating me like an adult,” I said to myself, the words finally clicking into my head. Harry’s fingers, wrapped around the bottom of the cupcake wrapper, grinning as I closed my eyes and blew out through my mouth. Harry complained because I spit on him, but had gotten his revenge when he smashed the cupcake into my face.

“What?” Gianna asked.

“Nothing. Sorry.” My head was spinning. “What do we do?”

“We’re designers for Nicholas Jennings. We’re currently working on some pieces for his summer showcase.”

“Nicholas Jennings?” I breathed out. Nicholas Jennings had just been starting out his career when I was sixteen, but he had already been predicted to be one of the top designers by the end of the decade. He was known for his avant-garde looks that were still wearable for the workplace. “We work for Nicholas Jennings?”

“Work for him? Sweetie, you’re basically his muse,” Gianna stated excitedly. “His entire winter collection was based on that movie you recommended to him. The Iron Giant?”

Another thing that was familiar. Harry and I would sit on the couch in my basement and watch Iron Giant at least twice a week. He always made fun of me for crying, but I knew it made him tear up too. I could only imagine what Nicholas Jennings had come up with if he were using the film as a concept for an entire clothing collection. However, I doubted Nicholas Jennings had fattened himself up with oversalted and greasy, buttered popcorn when watching the movie like Harry and I had.

“And…” I leaned forward, as if it were a secret, whispering even though it was only the two of us in the apartment. “And I got a boob job?”

“And they look fantastic. I know you’re insecure about the scarring it left, but Liam doesn’t mind and your tits look great.”

My hands went up to cup them again, sure I was still imagining this whole thing. Gianna just laughed. 

“Listen, we are going to take today and research what’s going on, yeah? I was reading something about Kleine Levin Syndrome last week, which could be it, but Liam said you weren’t sleepwalking…”

Gianna’s voice trailed off as a lightbulb went off in my head. Research. Research like contacting the only person who could talk me through what the hell was going on at this moment in time. I ignored Gianna’s surprise when I abruptly stood from the couch and walked to the kitchen counter, where my phone was resting. I had an iPhone when I was sixteen, but this was some fancy one that didn’t have a home button. It took me at least six tries to get it open, but when it finally did, I didn’t hesitate to click the phone button.

Gianna stared at me as the other line rang, the little intervals between obnoxious dial tones spent biting my thumb nail. 

“Hey, it’s Harry. Sorry I can’t get to the phone, but leave a message and I’ll get back to you later.”

“Harry!” I shouted, surprised that he still had the same phone number and excited that this meant I could talk to one person who knew me better than anyone else. “It’s Daniella. I really need to talk to you, so call me back when you can. I have the same number. Er, if you don’t remember the number, it’s 205-1340.” I awkwardly pressed the end call button and tossed my phone back onto the counter.

“Harry Styles? That’s a name I haven’t heard in a long time.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

Gianna stared at me with sympathetic eyes. “Sweetie, we haven’t talked to Harry since high school.”

I think she was expecting me to gasp or something, but instead I snorted. Yeah, right. Harry and I not talking? There was a higher chance I would spontaneously combust. Maybe we weren’t as close as we used to be when I was sixteen, but even that was highly unlikely. Harry was the one person I told everything to. “Okay,” I said, just to placate her, but I was still chuckling a little bit in disbelief.

She gave me a look. “Okay, but...don’t be surprised if he doesn’t call back, okay?”

“He’ll call,” I promised, more certain about this fact than anything else in my life. The most serious fight Harry and I had ever gotten into was when I had accidentally killed his goldfish. He hadn’t spoken to me for three weeks, and the only reason he finally did was because I went to go apologize and burst into tears. Harry was awful when someone was crying. 

“Which reminds me,” Gianna said after several moments, pulling out her phone, “I need to call Nick and say that we’re not going to make it to the party tonight.”

“Party?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah. We were invited to the launch of Christian Siriano’s new collection. But Nick will completely understand if you aren’t feeling well.”

I was invited to a collection launch party? I felt the smile on the face widen. At least in the midst of waking up ten years older, I had a pretty decent life. “We don’t have to cancel. As long as you stick by my side, it should be okay.”

“I don’t want to overwhelm you.”

“I want to go,” I promised. “Maybe it’ll help me remember something.”

Gianna looked uncertain, but also was biting her lip like she was considering my idea. After a few moments of considering me, she groaned. “Fine. But Liam will want to come to make sure that you’re alright. I’ll call Nick and Rachael.”

“Rachael?”

“Your assistant.”

“Right.” I had an assistant. Sixteen-year-old Daniella was snorting at me right now. “I can call Rachael, if you want to call Nick. What time is the party?”

“Not until eight.” She looked at her watch and sighed. “I’ve got to head out. I’m meeting a potential new employee for lunch. You’ll be okay here by yourself, right?” She looked so worried that I sent her a small grin. 

“I’m doing better. Seeing a familiar face helped. And I know Harry will call back and he’ll help.”

Her face fell. “Right. Harry will call.” She didn’t sound convinced. “Well, if you’re sure you’ll be okay, then I’m off. Call me if you need anything, okay? Or Liam.”

“I will, Gianna. I promise.” I couldn’t stop myself from reaching forward and giving her a giant hug. I honestly didn’t know what I would have done if she hadn’t been here to calm me down. “Thank you.”

“I’m always here for you, sweetie,” she whispered, squeezing me back before releasing. “I’ll see you tonight. I’ll have my driver pick you up at around seven forty-five so you don’t have to worry about getting an Uber or anything.”

Gianna left, shutting the door behind her quietly. I could do nothing but stand in the middle of my apartment, staring at the home I’d somehow managed to create for myself, despite my not remembering it. I tried searching through the pictures on my wall to see if I had any with my mother and father, but before I could I remembered Gianna’s words about calling Rachael and took my phone out.

She answered on the second ring. “Hello Miss Rodriguez. How can I help you?”

It was then I realized I had absolutely nothing to say to her. “What are you doing tonight?” was the only thing that blurted out of my mouth.

“Um...staying here to work on that collection concept you asked me to?”

“Oh. Why aren’t you going to the party?” I questioned. If Rachael worked there as my assistant, then wouldn’t she have gotten an invite? Why would she willingly choose to stay and work when there was a freaking Christian Siriano launch party?

“I wasn’t invited, Miss Rodriguez.”

“Well that’s stupid,” I claimed. “I am officially inviting you.”

“You’re...you’re inviting me to a launch party?” She sounded confused, like I’d never interacted with her before. Which was insane. Had Gianna been wrong when she said Rachael was my assistant? “You’ve never done that before.”

“Sure I have!” I did not, in fact, know if I ever had. Then, I had the best idea ever. “Oh! Can you do me a huge favor please?”

“Yes ma’am. What do you need?”

“Could you find out where Harry Styles lives?” Surely Harry wouldn’t mind if I dropped by. I was getting a little anxious as the minutes ticked by without a reply, as Harry usually had his phone glued to him. Since we were both apparently twenty-six now, it was entirely possible he was at work, but I would still feel comfortable knowing I could see him in person rather than texting over the phone. 

“Of course. I’ll email you his address. Is there anything else you need, Miss Rodriguez?”

“Nope, that’s it, Rachael. Thank you! I’ll see you tonight!”

“Right…see you tonight, Miss Rodriguez.”

When I hung up the phone, I had no clue what to do. Being in a body I didn’t really know, in an apartment I wasn’t familiar with, was terrifying. So I decided to take the time to snoop around my own place, starting in the kitchen. I opened up cupboards and drawers, finding fancy chrome silverware and glass plates that were neatly stacked in the cupboard above my kitchen sink. The entire kitchen was decorated with black paint and dark wood, something I never thought my own kitchen would look like. It was sleek and modern and so far from my colorful blue-cabinet and white tile kitchen at my childhood home that it was almost shocking.

Opening up the fridge, I examined its contents. Inside was nothing but vegetables and almond milk. I was pretty sure I had never once had almond milk and there were purple vegetables in one of the drawers. Did purple vegetables even exist? I closed it, suddenly frightened of what Liam and I seemed to eat on a day-to-day basis. Moving out from my kitchen, I examined the living room with passing interest. The one thing I was really concerned about was my bedroom.

This room was nearly as dark as the kitchen, with canned lights dimmed when I flicked the light switch on. It was attached to a bathroom which had a heavenly looking tub. Deciding to start in the bathroom, I rummaged through some of the drawers, finding an expensive Tom Ford cologne that I assumed belonged to Liam. in my own drawers there was a variety of face creams and serums that I had only ever dreamed about purchasing when I was sixteen. 

Before I could examine my bedroom too closely, my phone chirped. I had honestly forgotten I was holding it, so the sound made me jump before I realized it was probably Rachael with Harry’s information. I tried to hurriedly unlock my phone again, still struggling a little with the technology, but managed to get Rachael’s new email opened.

Harry Styles, 515 W 52nd Street. Avalon Clinton apartment complex.

Grinning, I managed to quickly strip my silk sleepwear off and change into the first outfit I found, not bothering to even zip up my boots all the way as I exited my building.

~

Harry’s apartment complex was an incredible building. My jaw dropped when I saw it, figuring that to live somewhere like this, he must have been doing pretty well at whatever he was doing. 

I found the intercom well enough, pressing the button that had H. Styles written on it in cursive script. It crackled to life underneath my touch, and just like drinking a cool sip of water after being dehydrated for thirty days, hearing the deep baritone of Harry’s voice instantly soothed me. “Hello? Who is it?”

“It’s me!” I screamed, nearly sinking in the relief that this was the Harry that I was looking for. “Daniella!” 

“Shit, the fucking thing’s broken again. I can’t hear you, but ring twice if you’re from Amazon. I’ve been waiting on that package for days.”

I didn’t know what he had bought on Amazon and it was most likely important, but I didn’t care. I hit the button twice and the door immediately opened up. Once I checked to make sure I was headed towards the right floor, I scurried inside and into the lobby.

There was a front desk, and the concierge smiled at me when I walked in, but I was on a mission. I hastily made my way to the elevators, pressing the fifth floor button and willing the doors to close faster than they were. Sure I resembled a drunk cheetah with the rush in which I was moving, I almost crashed into Harry’s door when the elevator finally stopped and let me off on his floor.

“Harry!” I demanded, pounding on the door in a series of succinct knocks that portrayed my urgency.

The door swung open and I immediately took a step back. There, standing on the other side of the door, was my best friend in the entire world. Long gone were the shoulder-length strands of curly brown hair that I had grown up with, instead cut short. He had some glasses perched on his nose and something that looked like paint on his hand. He was wearing comfortable looking jogger pants and a white shirt, no shoes or socks on his feet.

In my pleasure to see him, it took me a couple of moments to realize that he did not look equally as pleased to see me.

“Daniella,” he said stiffly, opening the door a little wider and leaning on the threshold. “I can honestly say I wasn’t expecting this.”

I launched myself at him.

He let out a “oof” when our bodies collided, but I was holding onto Harry and suddenly everything seemed okay in the world. My arms wrapped around his neck in a vice-like grip, holding him to me like he might disappear if I loosened my hold even a little. He robotically moved his arms around my shoulders to hug me back, but his stiff posture turned soothing when he realized that on top of squeezing him with all my might, I was also sobbing. 

I prided myself on not being a weepy person, but this entire morning had warranted a good cry, in my personal opinion.

“C’mon inside,” he said softly, gently prying my hands off him. Once we were both inside his apartment, he shut the door and moved to his kitchen. I wondered if I should follow him. Just when I had mustered up enough nerve to take a step, however, he had returned with a tissue in his fingers. “Want to sit?”

I nodded and let him lead me to the colorful orange couch he had in the middle of his living room. Well...living room was a little bit of an overstatement. He lived in a studio apartment, so everything was an open floor plan, save for the small door I saw that led to a bathroom. His place had much more color than mine did, and I found myself jealous at the styling choices. This place was much more me.

“Feeling better?” Harry asked, sitting on the opposite end of the couch. This in itself was weird, considering sitting on a couch with Harry almost always ended up with us sitting as close as we physically could. This was because we were both blanket-hoggers and being close meant neither one of us was trying to jip the other out of their respective half of the blanket. 

“I don’t know what’s going on, H,” I told him, my voice cracking as the emotions of this morning hit me all at once. “I...I think I’ve got amnesia or something. I don’t remember anything past my sixteenth birthday. And then I’ve got Gianna telling me that you and I don’t talk anymore?” I looked over at him and let out a crazed laugh. “How crazy is that?”

“We don’t talk anymore, Daniella,” he replied. “We stopped being friends shortly after your sixteenth birthday.”

Tears gathered in my eyes again. “No, I refuse to believe that. We’re Harry and Daniella. You’re my best friend in the entire world.”

He looked genuinely sorry to be telling me this, but shook his head. “No, Daniella. Not anymore.”

This time, I let the tears fall. My fingers curled in on themselves, balling into fists as I tried to stop myself from biting them or ripping my hair out. We sat in silence for several moments, my heart racing in anxiety because here was Harry, the person I knew most in the world and who knew me in return, and he was saying that we weren’t friends anymore. The bike rides, the late nights watching movies, the careful and soothing hugs he gave me...they were all gone. This Harry didn’t know me, not like I knew him. And who was to say I even knew him anymore?

“Why?” It was the only question I could seem to let escape.

Harry sighed, rubbing his hands over the thighs of his jeans. “I don’t know, Daniella. We just grew apart.” 

“People like us don’t just grow apart, H.”

“We did.”

“There’s got to be a reason!” I exclaimed, and I could hear that my breathing was labored. My chest felt like it was constricting, like someone had taken hold of my lungs and was crushing them between their hands.

He sensed the anxious change in my breathing and his eyes widened. “Hey, hey, Daniella. Take deep breaths for me, okay?” His body shifted off the couch and suddenly he was on his knees in front of me, holding my arms in his hands. He was tall enough to nearly be at eye-level with me. “C’mon, Dani. Breathe. Can you tell me five things you see?”

I was sure I looked a mess, with tears streaming down my cheeks and on the verge of a mental breakdown. “What?” 

“Tell me five things you see, Dani. Count them for me.”

I still couldn’t breathe properly, so his words sounded muffled like we were underwater. But I managed to get the point of his demand. My eyes shifted from his impossibly green ones to find something to latch onto. “You’ve got yellow and red throw pillows on your bed.”

“Good. Count four more for me.”

It was impossible to ignore the soft cadence of his voice. “You’ve got granite countertops. You’ve got playbills on your bookshelf.” It made me wonder if his dreams of designing sets had really worked out. “You’ve got clay on the counter. And there are sculpting tools next to it.”

“There she is,” he said softly, a hand hesitantly raising to brush my hair back from my face, where it was sticking because of the tears. “Now count five things you can feel.”

“The couch. My nail polish. Your shirt.” I brushed my finger against the shoulder of it. “My hair. The paint on your hands.”

He looked down at them, as if remembering. “I scrubbed, but it wouldn’t come off.”

“Typical,” I choked out, giving him a tight smile. My breathing was beginning to even out and return to normal, but I still felt like someone had placed the weight of the world on my shoulders. “What happened, H? Tell me.” I had to know. I had to know why we suddenly weren’t friends, like we had been for our entire lives.

I heard a sigh escape him, but luckily his fingers didn’t retreat. I think if he pulled away, I might have started up on the attack again. “I don’t know, Daniella. We just grew apart. I guess it was you hanging out with Gianna in high school. You just stopped bothering with me. Or maybe it was the funeral—”

“What funeral?” I interrupted.

“C’mon Dani,” he whispered brokenly, “you know what funeral. Don’t make me say it.”

“I don’t remember anything, Harry. I swear to you. I woke up this morning and my...my boyfriend of three and a half years that I don’t remember at all was trying to get me to calm down because I didn’t know who I was. I look like me and feel like me, but at the same time...I don’t? For Christ’s sake, Harry, I’ve gone and gotten myself a boob job!”

He cleared his throat, his cheeks turning pink. “Obviously I hadn’t noticed, Dani. I’m not looking there.”

“It’s hard to miss them!” I was glad this seemed to get a laugh out of him, but he turned serious once again.

“You really don’t remember anything?”

“Not a thing past the night of my sixteenth birthday. The last thing I remember is you giving me my cupcake and then blowing out the candle and you trying to smash it in my face and then...nothing.”

His thumbs on my shoulders began to rub across the fabric of my jacket. It was cold in his apartment, but it was a comfortable kind of cool. To be honest, I hadn’t felt as comfortable this morning as I was sitting here now, with my best friend looking at me like I was something fragile that was about to shatter. At this moment, I didn’t care if he thought I was weak. If it meant that he would explain what the hell was going on and tell me that we could be friends again, I would cry a thousand more tears.

“Dani,” he whispered in a tiny voice, “I’m so sorry.”

“What funeral?” I asked again.

He flinched, like he was avoiding the question. Then, his arms moved to caress my face, anticipating my reaction to his next words. He cradled my cheeks like I was going to fall apart. “Your dad’s.”

I couldn’t speak. I just stared at him, processing his words. That couldn’t be right. I had just spoken to my father less than twelve hours ago, when he had helped me set up a board game table in our basement as asked if we had a couple minutes for a quick round of Operation. My father was always a sore winner. He had purposely jostled the table so I would hit the metal and lose my turn. 

“No, you’re lying,” I mumbled, but I knew deep down that Harry would never lie to me. He was honest to a fault.

“You...you weren’t at the funeral. You and he were in an argument of some kind and you didn’t show up.”

I shook my head, his hands moving with me as he cupped my cheeks. He anticipated the tears, catching them with his thumb the second they started to fall. “No, H,” I groaned out, the feeling of panic twelve times worse with the new news. “No, no, no.” I was a blubbering mess. He didn’t move from his spot, slotted between my thighs and holding my face tightly in his hands. “No, there’s got to be some mistake. I would have gone. I would have.”

“Maybe you did,” he said in a soothing voice, brushing my tears away. “I left pretty early. Maybe you just showed up late.” But we both knew his words were empty. He didn’t truly mean them. “Let’s get you a glass of water, yeah?”

“No!” I clutched onto his fingers, gripping them tight enough to leave bruises. He didn’t pull away or wince in pain. 

“Alright,” he said soothingly, “I won’t go anywhere.”

He allowed me to sit on his couch, crying my eyes out until there were no more tears that could possibly come. Last night, I went to bed with everyone I ever loved in the world content and safe. Now, I had lost my friendship with Harry, I didn’t remember this insanely nice boyfriend I apparently had, and my father was dead. I hadn’t gone to his funeral because of some stupid argument. What argument could have been enough to keep me from attending his funeral?

“What have I done to ruin everything?” I questioned in a teary voice, shaking my head at myself. What the fuck had I done in my life to deserve this? There had to be a reason.

“Don’t think like that, Dani. It wasn’t your fault.”

But obviously it was. Obviously there was something I had done to piss off the universe so much that they took the most important people away from my life. I stood up quickly, suddenly feeling like Harry’s apartment was suffocating me. He let me go without question, but his eyes were trained on me like he was afraid I was going to have another panic attack. “I have to go,” I stuttered out, my body moving towards the door before the sentence fully left my mouth. 

“I think you should stay here until you feel better,” Harry said, kind enough to worry about me even though apparently we weren’t friends anymore.

“I’m sorry for showing up unexpectedly.” They were the only sentiments I managed to get out before I was out of his apartment, rushing towards the elevator. I didn’t know why I was running away from Harry. All I knew was that it was imperative that I get out of his apartment and away from the life I’d apparently fucked up.

The elevator doors were closing when I heard him call my name. 

I let the tears fall once again.

~

Since I was a little girl, I had dreamed of getting invited to a party as fancy as a Christian Siriano launch party. Now, here I was, waiting for Gianna to pick me up for said party, and I felt like shit.

I had reluctantly gotten ready for the party, pulling out a fancy dress and one of my many pairs of heels that I already wanted to rip off my feet. I was already missing the Vans my mother had gotten me for my birthday that I had been wearing when whatever this weird dream had happened to me. Due to my low mood, I hadn’t felt like doing much to my hair, so it was just up in a high ponytail that would have to do. This weird twenty-six-year-old skin of mine didn’t need foundation, but I made sure to coat my eyelashes in waterproof mascara in case I started sobbing again, which I had in spurts since leaving Harry’s apartment.

My father was dead. The only reason I was even going to this stupid party and not on the soonest train ride back to my mother was because maybe something at this party would shake my memory loose and I would remember something. In reality, I wanted to curl up in a corner and cry some more. Still, when Gianna’s limo pulled up in front of my building, I plastered a smile on my face and opened the door with mock enthusiasm.

“You look amazing, sweetie!” Gianna said excitedly when I opened the door. She was wearing a bright yellow dress that set off the dark color of her skin perfectly, along with gold accessories. “Love that color on you!”

The first dress I had picked was a bright fire-engine red high-necked dress with tulle puffed sleeves. The shoes were a satin material in the same color as the dress. If I had been in a better headspace, I would have screamed because the label on the dress said Versace, but right now it didn’t matter who the hell had made the dress. I plastered on a smile. “Thanks. You look fantastic.”

“Get your ass in the car! Nick is so happy you decided to come tonight. Christian is looking forward to it, too!” She slid over in the seat as I situated myself inside the car. The second the door shut behind me, her driver was taking off to the destination of the launch party. “Liam is coming tonight, too. He texted me and said he wanted to surprise you, but I figured that with everything going on, a surprise is the last thing you needed.”

This was smart of her. If Liam showed up and started being as incredibly kind and sweet as he had been this morning, I might have thrown up. Did he know about my father? Had I talked to him about the mysterious argument that had estranged us? I felt the tears welling in my eyes again at the thought of it, so I choked them back and tried to focus on Gianna, who was talking a mile a minute about who would be at the launch.

“Rachael is coming too. She said that you invited her this morning,” Gianna said, looking at me to confirm. When I nodded, I was surprised to see a frown grace her features. “Sweetie, that’s fine and all, I’ve got no problem with Rachael. But she hasn’t exactly been to one of these before. And she’s a bit meek. They might eat her alive.”

I frowned. “Rachael is nice. I wanted to invite her.” I had no clue if Rachael was actually nice, but I knew she shouldn’t be excluded from the party even if she was meek and hadn’t been to one before. “Besides, she did a big favor for me this morning. She found Harry’s address.”

Gianna’s eyes widened. “No shit. Did you go and see him?”

“Yeah. You were right. We aren’t friends anymore.” The words hurt even saying them out loud. “When he answered the door and saw me...he looked annoyed, like I was something from his past he couldn’t shake off.” I guess that’s what I was, now. And even though he had been so sweet, trying to comfort me and holding me tightly, it didn’t change the fact that he hadn’t wanted to see me when I knocked at his door.

“Oh, sweetie. Things will work out, I’m sure of it.”

I wondered if Gianna calling me “sweetie” was a normal thing. I hated it.

We pulled up to the party, smiling fakely at photographers that were loitering outside as we walked into the building, clearing the security easily. The inside was decorated in bright avant garde styles, bleeding color into every corner of the venue. It was a beautiful setup that I would have been dying to explore if I hadn’t been so muddled emotionally. I was so wrapped up in the decorating that I jumped when arms wrapped around my waist from behind, pulling me close to a hard body.

“I’m glad you’re feeling better, babe,” I heard Liam say in my ear. “You look absolutely beautiful.” I turned in his arms, immediately throwing them around his neck. I didn’t know anything about this man, but he had offered me kindness and hadn’t given up on me this morning, despite how hard I knew it must have been. He looked extremely pleased at my reception towards him, pressing a delicate kiss on the top of my head. “You need a drink?”

“Sure.” 

As soon as he had appeared, he was gone, Gianna headed over to the bar with him. And then I was alone, standing in the middle of the launch party twiddling my thumbs and feeling like I belonged anywhere but there at that moment. I saw someone moving towards me, a timid looking blonde with giant glasses taking up half her face. Still, she looked wonderful in her pale blue dress. 

“Hi, Miss Rodriguez. Thanks for inviting me,” she said softly when she made her way over towards me. Ah, so this was Rachael. She looked every bit as nice as her voice sounded, and I sent her a genuine smile.

“It’s nothing at all, Rachael. You look great.”

Her eyes lit up, and I wondered how terrible I had to usually be to have her look so terrified of me. “Oh, thank you Miss Rodriguez!”

“You can call me Daniella, Rachael. We’re co-workers, aren’t we?”

“Oh.” She looked surprised. “You told me to never call you Daniella.”

As if my night couldn’t get any worse. “Right. I wasn’t feeling myself that day. I apologize. Feel free to call me Daniella.” Suddenly uncomfortable with the revered way she was looking at me, like I was some kind of fashion god giving her access into the world I lived in, I gestured towards the bar. “Want a drink?”

“Sure!” she said quickly, smiling brightly. “Mind if I go with you? I don’t really know anyone here.”

Me neither, I wanted to say, but refrained. “Of course. C’mon.” Following in the direction Liam and Gianna had disappeared to, we made it to the bar with ease. “What do you want?”

“I’ll take a strawberry martini.”

I had no idea what cocktail I wanted. My alcohol experience consisted of sneaking shitty beer into my basement and champagne at my cousin’s wedding. “Make that two,” I told the bartender, smiling softly as he got to work. “Hey, Rachael, can I ask you something?”

“Of course, Miss Ro—Daniella,” she corrected herself. The bartender handed our drinks over and she immediately took a sip. I didn’t bother with mine yet, on a mission.

“Do you know why I wasn’t talking to my father when he died?”

She flinched. “Ah...no. I just remember reminding you about the funeral and...um...you weren’t too happy.”

How selfish was I in this new life that the idea of my father’s funeral made me angry? “Right. If you’ll excuse me, I’m just...going to go powder my nose.”

I left Rachael nodding after me as I walked through the venue. I saw my boss (I still couldn’t believe I worked for Nicholas Jennings) and tried my best to stay out of his sight, lest he greet me and ask me questions I didn’t know the answer to. Walking into different hallways and still not able to find the bathroom, I decided to just lean up against a pillar on the second floor of the building, looking down at the launch with a sense of bittersweetness.

I had seemingly gotten everything I wanted. At what cost?

The second I heard whispers, I ducked behind the pillar, not willing to join in conversation with people. However, I recognized the voices almost immediately as Liam and Gianna.

“I still don’t know what happened to her, Gianna. It worries me.”

“I know. It worries me too. But...we’re still going to tell her, right?”

I peeked out from the pillar and saw them standing at the entrance of the hallway, Liam’s hands wrapped around Gianna’s wrists. The lights were reflecting brilliantly off her dress.

“You want to tell her that we’ve been having an affair for eleven months when just this morning she didn’t recognize either of us?” Liam asked incredulously.

“I know the timing is shit. I know it, Liam. But I can’t hold my feelings in any longer. Besides, you know she was seeing Rachael’s boyfriend for that little three-month period a couple years back.”

“And we discussed that. I forgave her. Sleeping with your assistant’s boyfriend twice isn’t really the same as sleeping with your best friend’s boyfriend of almost four years.”

I couldn’t take it anymore. I pushed off the pillar, walking in the opposite direction on my tiptoes so I didn’t draw attention to myself. The hallway swung back around in a circle to the staircase, so I quickly rushed down them when I was in the clear and made my way out of the building, letting the New York air cool my skin.

I hadn’t thought going to this party would make me feel worse, but I had been proven wrong.

Without thinking, I pulled out my phone and called Harry.

He picked up on the second ring. “Dani? Thank god. I was worried when you left earlier. That wasn’t exactly the best news to hear.”

“Do you want to get dinner with me?” I asked bluntly, ignoring his concerns. “I just...I need to get away from reality for a while.”

The other line was silent, and I was terrified he was going to reject me. He would remind me that we weren’t friends, that he hated me and thought I was selfish, and then tell me that he never wanted to see me again. The longer I heard nothing but his breathing, the more certain I was that these events were about to unfold. So I was surprised when I heard him say, “Sure. Meet me at Blue Elephant. It’s the Thai place a couple of blocks down from my apartment.”

For the first time that night, I felt a genuine smile spread across my features.

~

I tried not to laugh when the noodle from Harry’s pad thai dangled from his mouth, but the snort escaped me before I could stop it.

He had gotten to the restaurant much quicker than I had. He wasn’t lying when he had told me it was just down a couple blocks. He had raised a brow at my fancy attire, since he was just in jeans and a black shirt splattered with tiny little paint flecks. His fingernails had clay under them, which would have been gross if I hadn’t known it was because Harry spent nearly all his free time sculpting. The comfort of this sight nearly had me in tears again, but I shrugged it off in favor of ordering what Harry suggested from the menu. I had ended up with what the restaurant called “glass noodles,” which was their low-carb options that had lots of vegetables mixed in. Harry had gone for the classic pad thai, which if the way he was slurping was any indication, he enjoyed.

“How are you doing?” Harry asked hesitantly, like he was unsure how to ask the question.

I shrugged. “I woke up this morning not knowing anything about my life, not being friends with you, finding out my father is dead, and seeing Liam and Gianna discuss how they were going to tell me that they’re having an affair.”

“Shit. That’s terrible, Dani.”

The wry laugh left my lips before I could stop it. “The thing that kills me is that I deserve it. I let a stupid, petty argument that I can’t even remember keep me from the funeral. Apparently I slept with someone in a relationship. It was my assistant’s boyfriend, by the way. And I don’t know what I did to ruin our friendship, but obviously it was my fault.” I twirled some of my pasta around my fork. “I work for Nicholas Jennings as a designer. I just came from a Christian Siriano launch party. I managed to get everything I’ve ever wanted, but it feels terrible.”

“You didn’t ruin our friendship single handedly,” Harry assured. “It was the both of us.”

“I can’t even argue with you, because I don’t remember.”

He sighed, pushing his plate away from him. “It was your party. Everyone had left to go get beer with Gianna’s brother.” I sat up eagerly in my chair, ready to hear his version of events so I could decipher when it all went wrong. “I had just given you the mini-model for my theatre class and then I let you blow out the cupcake and smashed it in your face.”

“And?” I asked impatiently. “And then what? That’s the last thing I remember.”

His hand reached up to rub the back of his neck. “And then I kissed you.”

My mouth had been open, ready to comment on whatever he had said, but no sound came out. I stared at my best friend, who suddenly looked so embarrassed and small, and my heart ached in my chest. “You kissed me?” I whispered, food completely forgotten in front of me.

“I kissed you,” he repeated. “You had strawberry frosting on your face and you just...looked so beautiful. I’ve always thought you were. And there was a moment when you were trying to wipe it off that I thought I might have seen something in your eyes...but I was wrong. I kissed you and you pulled away. You looked so regretful, like you were running through a thousand ways to let me down easy in your head because you were always too kind to me. I tried to tell you to forget it, that it didn’t mean anything, but you were determined to talk about it.”

“Did we?” I asked.

“I wouldn’t let you. I knew the second I pulled away I had made a mistake. But you kept...pushing. And I got angry, said some things I didn’t mean. You got angry back, and said some other things. Then you shoved the mini-model in my hands and told me to leave. The glue was shit, so it crumbled a little. I’m sure it was an accident, but...after the rejection, it felt like it was on purpose.”

“Harry, I would have never—”

“I know,” he interrupted, giving me a hesitant smile. “I know, Dani. It was just me being pathetically in love with you.”

The words made me wish the ground would swallow me whole. “In love with me?” My voice was so quiet, I was surprised he heard it.

“Yeah, Dani. In love with you.”

The Harry from my memories suddenly shifted, as if with his confession I was seeing him in a new life. My quinceañera, when I had asked him to be my escort and he had to help me zip the back of my dress up. The first day of high school, when he had ridden his bike to my house and looked at me like he was seeing someone new. That moment he had just told me about, looking at him with strawberry frosting on his chin because I had managed to swipe some there.

Was there some other emotion hiding in those eyes every time he looked at me?

“I’m sorry,” I said, unable to say anything else.

“You don’t have to be sorry for not loving me, Dani. It wasn’t your responsibility.”

“But I should have fought harder for your forgiveness.” The tears did come then. I felt like that was all I had done today, just sob and sob. “I should have fought for us. I don’t want to be the person that doesn’t fight.”

I stood from my chair, slapping down a twenty dollar bill to cover the price of my meal. He watched me with clouded eyes, part-betrayed that I was leaving him once again and part-understanding that being in that restaurant was going to suffocate me with the weight of what had happened today. As I made my way towards the exit, he let me go.

I wondered if he would have before the night of my sixteenth birthday.

My lip wobbled as I hailed a cab, pulling out my phone to see all of the missed text messages from both Gianna and Liam. There was even one from Rachael, who had seen me leave in a hurry and asked if I was alright. My heart clenched in my chest when I saw her name across the screen. I wondered if she had any clue that I had apparently slept with her boyfriend. Assuming that she would have quit if she had known, I was going to guess she didn’t know. The texts from Liam were all variations of him asking me where I was. 

I couldn’t even be angry with him for cheating on me with Gianna. Who knew what kind of person I was now? What if I had pushed him away, like I had with Harry, like I had with my father? If he found comfort and love in Gianna, who was I to tell him he was wrong? 

My feet were carrying me somewhere I didn’t know, walking in the direction of my apartment that wasn’t home. When the first drop of rain splattered on my nose, I didn’t even feel it. 

I just felt numb.

~

The house before me was very non-threatening. It was a small thing, brick on the outside and a bright red door. When I was younger, the kids at school used to tease me and call it the “Three Little Pig” house, the one left standing at the end of the story that the wolf couldn’t blow down. I hated it when I was little, but I found it comforting now. Even with all that had changed in my life, this seemed to still be the same.

Knocking on the door shouldn’t have been terrifying, but it was suddenly the most scary thing I’d ever done. Before my fist could meet it for a third time, the red door swung open to reveal my mother, looking at me with a softness in her eyes that I was sure I didn’t deserve.

“Harry called me earlier. Said you might be coming here.” Her words were matter-of-fact, like there was no arguing. And there wasn’t. I wasn’t entirely sure how Harry had guessed that I was going to visit my mother, but I supposed he still knew me like the back of my hand. “Said you’ve got amnesia?”

I couldn’t stop the laugh that came from my throat. Amnesia was a weird way of putting it, but it was the only explanation I could give. I was sure “I’m really sixteen and just woke up in twenty-six-year-old Dani’s body” wouldn’t work with my mother. And then I was flinging myself into her arms and sobbing, like I constantly did now. “He said I didn’t come to Dad’s funeral,” I cried out.

“You didn’t,” she replied simply, but she held me in her arms and squeezed my shoulders like she had when I was younger. I hadn’t felt more like myself than in that moment, except maybe talking with Harry. 

“But why? That doesn’t make sense.” I clutched her to me, wanting nothing more than to melt into her skin and disappear forever. 

She sighed, rubbing my shoulders. “Come inside. We’ll talk.”

Minutes later I was sitting at the familiar circular dark wooden table from my childhood. My mother had poured us iced tea, a drink I had forgotten I loved until I took a cautious sip of it. We sat in silence for a few moments, just drinking as she stared at the wall across from me. Just as I was about to open my mouth and ask again what had happened, she began to speak.

“You really don’t remember anything?”

“No,” I promised. “The last thing I remember is Harry shoving a cupcake into my face at my sixteenth birthday party after I made a wish.”

She nodded thoughtfully. “What’d you wish for?”

I smiled grimly. “For you to treat me like an adult.” Awkwardly picking at a loose thread on my sweater, I looked away from my mother. I didn’t want to see the disappointment or hurt on her face when my words registered. “I...I didn’t mean it.”

“Yeah, you did. And you were right. Maybe if I had treated you like an adult, you would have...you would have come to the funeral.” She took a long sip of the tea, steadying herself. “You’ve got to know that we always planned on telling you. But we just never did. And that was on us. And you’d always struggled so much with your identity. Remember when you used to come home from school and cry just because you felt like you didn’t know yourself?”

I remembered those days well. The last one I could remember had been two days before my birthday. Harry seemed to fit in so well with everyone he met, and I just didn’t have that skill. I had come home crying to my mom, asking why Harry could manage to fit in everywhere but I couldn’t. 

“Two Christmases ago you were looking in the attic to help find some tree topper I had bought. You came down from the attic with that piece of paper in your hand and my heart stopped. I knew right then and there that you’d never forgive us.”

“Mom, it can’t be that bad.”

“Believe me, it is.” There were tears in her eyes now as she set her glass down. Her hands shook. “You...found adoption papers and letters from your birth mother. She had written to you every year on your birthday. Your father and I never showed them to you. And obviously...we never told you about the adoption.”

If there was one thing I did not expect for my mother to say, it was that.

“What?” I managed to stutter out, blinking at her in disbelief.

Her tears fell now, streaking the mascara on her bottom lashes and leaving horrible black lines down her face. “We always meant to tell you, you...you have to believe that. And you got so, so angry with us. You said you never wanted to talk to us again. You marched out and went back to New York to stay with Liam. And then your father got sick and I...I just thought we would have so much more time to make things right with you before he died. I called you to tell you about the funeral and you just didn’t care. And the shitty part was that I couldn’t blame you.”

My tears had stopped, simply because I was trying hard to process what she had just told me. My mother, the one who braided my hair when I was younger and kissed my knee when I skinned it, wasn’t my actual mother. And my father, who read me bedtime stories with funny voices and made me pancakes when I was feeling sad, he wasn’t my actual father. I had never felt less like I knew myself.

I laughed.

It was a short, stark sound in the silence between us. My mother had been staring at the ground and she looked up at me in surprise when she heard it. I couldn’t help it. I laughed again. I laughed until there were angry and frustrated tears falling out of my eyes. 

“Do you know what kind of person I am?” I didn’t give her the chance to answer before I started speaking again. “I’ve spoken more to Harry in the past two days than I have in the last ten years. I let him feel like I hated him. I slept with my assistant’s boyfriend and apparently haven’t told her about it. But I did tell my boyfriend, who is currently having sex with my best friend because of something I did, I guess. And now I find out I didn’t go to my father’s funeral because I was being an absolute bitch?”

“You had every right to be upset—”

“No! I didn’t have the right to not go to the funeral!” My lower lip quivered. The reality of the words set in with me then. I had missed my father’s funeral because of something as stupid as me being adopted. That didn’t change the fact that he had gone to all the little father-daughter dances my school held when I was young. That he had taught me how to swim and clapped when I could jump into the pool with no problems. That he had held me when the boy I liked called me ugly. “I didn’t go to the funeral,” I whispered brokenly.

My mother’s arms were around me before I had time to blink. She flung herself across the table and wrapped me in her embrace. I felt her tears on my shoulder, the tears the both of us had apparently needed to cry since two Christmases ago. When the pain got too uncomfortable, I moved out of my chair so I could be closer to her, on my knees on the kitchen floor. She slid out of her own seat, grabbing onto my shoulders and kissing my head.

“I’m sorry,” she kept saying, over and over again. “I’m so sorry.”

“I missed the funeral,” I repeated, my fingers digging painfully into her shoulder blades. If she was in pain, she didn’t show it. She just held me harder as we both kneeled on the kitchen floor.

~

New York was having a good weather day. 

I was sitting outside a little cafe, munching on an ice cream cone. It had been only hours since I’d left my mother’s house. We had talked, cried, drank wine that she had stashed in a cupboard, and cried some more. Even before the freak accident in which I had aged ten years overnight, it was the most I’d really talked to her in a long while. There was a dull ache in my heart because I wanted my father to be there, but my mother had kissed my forehead in the way he used to when I was headed out the door. 

“I love you, Dani,” she had said, with so much conviction that it had nearly brought me to my knees.

“I love you too, Mom,” I had replied. She smiled that big grin of hers, the one I used to tell her could light up the world. 

Now I was waiting for Liam and Gianna to arrive. I had called them both the second I got into a taxi from my mom’s house and was waiting to meet them. The cafe was the first one I had found (though it wasn’t as if they were lacking in New York), so I didn’t know if it was any good or not. If the ice cream was any indicator, it was fantastic.

“Thank god you’re okay,” Liam said from somewhere behind me, and then I was forced out of my sesat and engulfed in a huge bear hug. Liam’s hugs were nice, I decided. Maybe if I had met him when this weird thing hadn’t happened, I would have loved him. “Why didn’t you return any of my calls?”

“I was visiting my mom. Sorry,” I mumbled into his shoulder.

He pulled away immediately. “Your mom? Is everything okay? You haven’t spoken in—”

“Two years,” I interrupted, nodding my head. “Everything’s fine, just needed to talk some stuff out with her.”

“Well, I’m glad you’re okay.” He pulled me back into another hug, rubbing his hand on my back. “Do you want to sit? Have you ordered anything?”

“Not yet. I was waiting for you and Gianna to get here.”

“You don’t have to wait much longer.” Gianna appeared, seemingly out of nowhere, and gave me a small hug. “I’m glad you’re feeling better, sweetie. Did you ever figure out what the hell was going on yesterday? Memory all back?”

“Not at all.” And that was still the frustrating part. I gestured to the little bistro table and watched the two of them as they moved towards their seats. I had never really had to examine how two people moved together before, but they moved like they were magnets. Liam hesitantly reached out his hand for me to hold and I saw the quick glimpse of something akin to heartbreak on Gianna’s face.

At least I knew the two really loved each other.

“So, what did you and your mom talk about?” Liam asked, his thumb making circles on the back of my hand. 

“Life. How things didn’t really work out the way I wanted them to.”

Gianna’s brow raised. “What do you mean, sweetie? You work for Nicholas Jennings. That’s like your dream job.”

“Yeah.” And look where that dream had gotten me. “But I mean in my personal life, not really my professional life.”

It was quiet for a few seconds. Liam awkwardly smiled. “We don’t really know what you mean, babe.”

“I know.” I composed my thoughts for a moment before hesitantly reaching out my other hand to stretch it across the table. Gianna was quick to grab it, but I could tell she still looked a little confused. “I’m not a good person. I see that. I don’t know how you two put up with me. But I like to think I deserve better than my boyfriend and best friend lying to me.” The color drained out of Liam’s face and Gianna was gaping like a fish, opening and closing her mouth as if she’d find something to say. “And you deserve better than the way I’ve obviously treated you.”

“Dani,” Liam said brokenly, but I shook my head.

“It’s okay. We’ve all got things we need to work on, I guess.”

And that was the truth. If there was anything I’d learned from the last two days, it was that I had to work to not be the bitch I had so obviously become in the ten years I’d missed. I pat Liam’s hand comfortingly before standing from the little table, allowing Gianna and Liam to digest what I’d just sprung on them as I walked away. 

I was in a city I genuinely loved. The sky was pretty and blue and I felt a little bit of the ice cream cone in my hand dripping on my fingers. Things were okay with my mom and I. I would never get back the memories I’d lost with my father, but I’d use him as an example on how to be better. I wished for nothing more than to go back in time to my sixteen year-old self to tell her what she was missing when she wished on that stupid candle. 

But maybe it wasn’t all bad, I decided, when I stopped at a hot dog stand to ask for some napkins and saw Harry ordering on the other side.

“Dani,” he said, his eyebrows shooting up in surprise. “Hey. What are you doing?”

“Walking,” I replied, gesturing to his hot dog. “Looks good.”

“I’d ask you if you wanted a bite, but I know you don’t like mustard.”

The fact that he’d remembered something so insignificant made me smile. “Right.”

He finished up his hot dog and took one of the napkins I offered. “What’re you doing today?”

“Nothing much. Why?”

“Mind if I join you on your walk?”

I pretended to think about it for a moment, but it truly was just pretending. My mind was made up the second the question had left his mouth. “Only if you tell me what you’re doing for work. Don’t think I missed all the clay and stuff in your apartment.”

He flushed, the apples of his cheeks turning a cute pink color. I wanted to poke them, like I used to when we were kids, but didn’t know if it would be welcome or not. “You don’t want to hear about my job,” he said, like he had already decided it was going to be a boring topic.

“Harry, I always want to hear about what you’re doing.”

It was a statement he must not have heard from me in ten years, because he gave me a soft and hesitant smile, the kind of smile I imagined he had given me as kids through the lens of someone in love with me. It made my stomach warm to see it.

“Really?” At my enthusiastic nod, his smile widened a little bit and he rubbed the back of his neck. “Okay. Well, shortly after high school I was just working for the theater department at the community college. It didn’t pay much, but it was a good experience for the resume. I worked there for about three years and then got into sculpting.”

“Which explains the clay,” I joked, reaching for his hand. I lifted it between us and gestured to the clay caked underneath his nails. He laughed, nodding his head at my observation.

His laughter came up short when he realized that we were skin-to-skin, my fingers dancing across his knuckles to get a view of the clay. It turned his skin a light gray color, somewhat matching the color of the shirt he wore. “Yeah,” he said, and his voice sounded a little breathless. “Yeah, that explains the clay.”

I was hesitant to release his fingers, but I did. He didn’t move his hand away, however, just stared at me with those impossibly green eyes of his. I had always been jealous of them when we were younger. “Harry?”

“Yes?”

“If I were to hold your hand, would you hate me?”

His smile was quick and soft, and I realized there was a tiny little speck of mustard on his top lip. “If you had asked me at sixteen, I would have jumped at the opportunity. And maybe faint.”

I laughed. “I’m not asking sixteen year-old Harry, though. I’m asking twenty-six year-old Harry.”

“Right. Semantics. I suppose he’s fine with it too, if it means you’ll go out to dinner with him.”

Our fingers threaded together, still awkwardly hanging in front of us. His hand was warm and callused, and I could feel the texture of the clay. “I would love to go to dinner tonight. You can regale me with stories about how you fell in love with me when we were kids.”

He laughed, and our hands dropped to fit more comfortably between us. “It’s not very hard to fall in love with you, Dani.”

~

I was used to getting ready for a friend hang-out with Harry. For those, I knew what I would wear. It would be some variation of comfy jeans or leggings, a graphic tee of one of my favorite bands, and some Vans. I was familiar with that ensemble.

It was a little different getting ready for a date with Harry.

He had followed me back to my apartment, where I saw some of Liam’s stuff was already gone. It seems he wasted no time in seeking shelter with Gianna. I was honestly happy for him, if he was happier with Gianna. Harry sat on my couch and laughed while I tried on different outfits, seeing which one would fit his surprise restaurant better since he wouldn’t tell me where we were going. In each dress, he twirled his finger to signal he wanted me to turn in the dress before he disagreed and sent me back.

“Could you at least give me a hint on what to wear?”

“Do you have jeans at all?”

I poked my head out of the door to my bedroom, giving him a look. “I would never wear jeans on a date.”

“It’s a date with me. You know I don’t care what you look like.”

That made the butterflies in my stomach set off. Apparently, however, twenty-six year-old Daniella didn’t own a pair of jeans, so I settled on a casual sundress and slipped it on. It was a pretty orange color that looked good with my skin, and had little yellow flowers printed at the bottom. When I walked out into the living room, Harry grinned.

“Perfect,” he said, standing from my couch. “You look beautiful.”

If I were still sixteen and Harry was just a friend, the words wouldn’t have such an effect on me. But the truth of the matter was, my skin was warming, butterflies were flying, and my eyes were looking at Harry in a new light. “Thank you.”

“I have always wanted to say that to you and not have you punch me in the shoulder.”

“I wouldn’t have punched you in the shoulder!”

“Yeah...but you wouldn’t have looked at me like that, either.”

I wondered what expression was on my face to make his eyes go slightly dark and hazy. Letting out a short, breathless laugh, I grabbed his hand and led him out of my apartment. “Lead the way, since I have no idea where we’re going.”

The walk to the restaurant was spent talking about old memories from the past, Harry’s fingers intertwined with mine. There were several points where we had to stop walking so the two of us could laugh, bending over at the waist as we remembered when Gemma had put makeup on Harry or I had fallen into a puddle of mud at one of our family get-togethers. When we got to our destination, I stared at the theatre in front of us with a look of awe on my face.

“C’mon, I told the guys that I needed this place to myself tonight. I’ll give you a grand tour.”

He took the keys out of his pocket and opened the door. The lights were automatic, turning on when they sensed movement. We were in the lobby of the theatre, with programs from all the productions hung on every inch of the walls. Harry laughed when I took in the colors of all of them as he opened the door to the main stage.

“You’re a giant softie,” I breathed out when I saw that there was a picnic set up on the stage. “I’m telling Gemma.”

“She’ll never let me live it down.”

“That’s the point, Harry.” But I squeezed his fingers even tighter in mine. “It’s perfect.”

The theatre itself was beautiful. Unlike the harsh white lights of the lobby, the stage was lit with warm stage lighting that gave the place a pretty yellow glow. I took the stairs up to the main stage and sat down on a pillow Harry had placed there beforehand, unwilling to let our grip break when he moved to sit down on his own pillow. It was only when he started moving towards the picnic basket that I relinquished my hold on his hand. 

“Okay, I’ve got some pasta, a little cucumber salad, and wine. Because we all need wine.” He made a plate for me and then himself before reaching back into the picnic basket. “And for dessert…”

I wanted to laugh at the little cupcake, nearly identical to the one he had given me on my sixteenth birthday. I could tell it was what he was expecting. But I just stared at it, my throat going dry. Eventually, the smile slipped off his face and he set the cupcake on the stage. “I didn’t mean to make you sad.”

“I know you didn’t,” I whispered, shaking my head. “I just...you deserve so much better, Harry.”

“Maybe. But who are we to decide that?”

“You deserve someone who hasn’t treated you like shit. Which is what I treated you like. I shouldn’t have let our friendship go just because I was scared that loving you would ruin things for us.”

“Dani,” he said softly, reaching out to take my hand in his. “It’s all in the past.”

“But it’s not. Not for me. For me, it was two days ago. And I know that it sounds crazy and you don’t believe me, but I...I’ve obviously made some choices that have hurt a lot of people and I don’t remember making any of them. I hurt you.”

“Yeah, you did. Look at where we are now, though. Look at where you are.”

“I just don’t want you to wake up and regret this tomorrow because you’re holding onto a sixteen year-old version of me.”

And that was the point of all of this. I couldn’t just forget that this weird time blip had happened, and I couldn’t forget that apparently I had made shitty choices for the past ten years of my life. I wished more than anything that I could go back to the night of my sixteenth birthday and just tell Harry that while I didn’t love him at that exact moment, I would be willing to give us a shot because really, it was Harry. I knew that I could fall in love with him if I just had the time. Maybe I already had been, secretly, and was just scared.

“We’re just...we’re not sixteen anymore, Harry.”

He nodded, his mouth tight-lipped and his eyes sad. I think it was because he knew what I was saying was true. We couldn’t change the past. “I know,” he whispered. “I just...having you back in my life was like this out of reach dream.”

“I don’t want to go the next ten years not talking to you, Harry. But I think you’ll be so much happier with someone else. Someone who doesn’t run away when you tell them you love them.”

The wry smile on his face made my heart break. He gently slid towards the end of the stage and jumped off, his feet hitting the ground with a thudding sound that echoed in my ears. He made it to the back of the theatre before he turned around, tears in his eyes and a small smile on his face. “Maybe in a parallel universe, then. I’ll see you around, Dani.”

The tears were already on my cheeks when the door shut behind him.

I didn’t feel like eating anything after Harry’s departure, but I picked up the cupcake gently, willing it to bring me back to the night of my sixteenth birthday, before I had royally screwed myself over. Setting it down with a sigh, I started to pick up the food items so Harry wouldn’t get in trouble for leaving food on the stage. It was only then that I saw the candle and lighter in the basket.

I cried as I stuck the candle into the cupcake and lit it with the lighter.

“I wish I could go back and do this all over,” I mumbled to myself. Shutting my eyes, I softly blew out the flame of the candle.

I kept them shut as I leaned back and lay on the stage, letting myself fall asleep.

~

“Dani?” I heard, and I opened my eyes slowly. The theatre was gone, the soft yellow light something harsh and white again. I took in my surroundings, noting the Jonas Brothers poster on the wall and the ugly pink color of them. I sat up quickly, looking around the room before I gasped and looked down at my chest.

No boobs. 

“Dani, you awake?” I heard someone say from the other side of the door. Immediately I was up, shooting like a bottle rocket as I flung my door open. Harry stood there, sixteen year-old Harry with his head of floppy curls and the spot of acne on his chin. He was holding something wrapped in a pretty pink box.

“Harry?”

His eyebrows furrowed as he stepped into my room, setting the pink box on my bed as I shut the door behind him. “You okay?” he asked. “You seem off.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” I said, still looking around my room to reassure myself that I was actually here. “I...I think I had a really weird dream.”

“What was it about?”

“It was terrible, H. We weren’t friends anymore.” He sat on my bed and I moved to sit next to him, careful of the pink box that I somehow knew contained a little theatre set he had made me.

“Well, that’ll never happen,” he snorted. “But, let’s focus on something happy. Open up.” He handed me the box. I pulled apart the purple ribbon and opened it up. It was in an Amazon box, but sure enough, it was a beautiful stage designing set. “It’s Wicked, since I know that’s your favorite musical.”

“Harry,” I whispered, “it’s gorgeous.”

“You like it?” When I nodded enthusiastically, he relaxed. “Oh good. I was worried. Also, I got you something else.”

From behind his back he produced a pretty pink strawberry cupcake, complete with a candle. He took a lighter out of his pocket and held it up to me. “Make a wish, Dani.”

When the flame was lit, I closed my eyes. I didn’t bother to make one. There wasn’t anything more that I needed.

I was expecting the smash, and the cool feeling that followed. I was expecting Harry to double over in laughter as pink goop fell from my face. I was even expecting my own laugh as I wiped it from my eyes so it wouldn’t burn them. What I wasn’t expecting was for Harry to suddenly take my face in his hands and kiss me, the minty taste of his breath mingling with the strawberry of the frosting coating my mouth. The kiss was over before it had begun, and Harry stared at me in fear, like I was going to reject him.

Instead, I smiled.

“Harry,” I said softly, reaching out my hand to him. His own hands shook when he placed his fingers in mine. “Do you want to go on a date?”

When his shoulders sagged in relief and he nodded, I knew.

“Oh, and I really need to go talk to my dad.”

[lupins-sweater]

I’m Sorry

(Percy Weasley x Reader)

Summary: Percy wants to have a second chance after the war. Do you?

Warnings: verrrry angsty, first time writing angst, so it kinda sucks

I’m going to try something a little different and do some angst

You weren’t quite sure when he changed, but one day you looked up, and he was a completely different person. Sure he could be a little intense. But he wasn’t a prick. Once he finished prefect duty, he would bring you treats from the kitchen and a kiss goodnight. Sometimes you could even talk the avid rule follower to bend some rules because he wanted to make you happy. As simple as that. If you were caught out past curfew or skipping a class, Percy would let it slide (although you would get the “I love you, but there’s going to be a time when I can’t cover for you.”

You enjoyed gifting him the fanciest quills and the biggest pumpkin pasties every time he accomplished something. You were so proud of him; calling Percy Weasley your boyfriend gave you joy. Under that hard exterior was someone who was very loving and gentle. Or at least you thought.

After you had graduated Hogwarts, you and Percy moved into a small flat in Diagon Alley. Even though it was rather small, it was home to you. You quickly decorated the shared abode with squishy arm chairs and a couch. The flat was fairly clean and a wonderful home to transition from school.

Percy proposed not too long after the announcement of receiving the position at the Ministry. He claimed the money would help significantly with the wedding cost and maybe with starting a family. But you both weren’t expecting to bring children into your life for another couple of years; you agreed you were too young, and you wanted to focus on your careers first. You were training to become a healer, and Percy wanted a stable job that wasn’t an assistant.

At first you thought he was just tired or stressed from working with Crouch. I mean who wouldn’t, right? He would come home and not be in the mood to talk. Even on his days off, he was working on assignments and didn’t want to be disturbed. It was like he didn’t have time for cuddle night anymore. You hoped this was just a rough spot in your relationship; every couple goes through them. But as the bad days turned into bad weeks and into bad months, you grew out of sync with your partner. Every time you tried to discuss his sudden change of behavior, it was always, “ Not now, Y/N. I’m busy,” or “Maybe tomorrow.”

You turned to his family for guidance after a month and a half of being ignored. The twins said it was just normal Percy behavior. He probably was upset about cauldron thickness again. But Molly and Arthur could tell something was wrong. You briefly explained the situation, and they knew just as much as you did. Percy apparated to his childhood home after he noticed you weren’t at the flat, a scowl on his face. Anger brewed at the surface.

So here you were. At the burrow watching the fight between you fiancé and his father unfold. You stood behind the doorframe leading into the living room.

“Percy, what’s going on? Y/N came over here and told us you’ve been distant,” Arthur inquired, concerned for his son’s future marriage.

“Our relationship is none of your business!” Percy shouted.

Molly rushed into the room furious. “Don’t talk to your father like that! He’s trying to help you!”

“Well it doesn’t help he’s not the best role model.”

You entered the room with watery eyes. “Percy, please stop. I just want to know what’s bothering you.”

He looks at you and struggles to find the right words. “You know what’s wrong? The fact that I have to deal with a lousy reputation at the Ministry because my father’s strange obsession with muggles! I’m being poked fun at all the time! I’m told I’m just going to end up like you,” he pointed to Arthur. “A person with little to no ambition. You want to stay in your low paying job dealing with muggles. That’s the reason why we’re so poor! Don’t you feel feel awful that your children can’t afford robes for school?” Percy’s voice crescendoed into a scream. His words could be heard throughout the house.

You and your future parent in-laws stood there in shock. This wasn’t like Percy at all.

“How long? How long have you been feeling like this?” you asked barely above a whisper.

“I’ve been made fun of because I’m a Weasley in school, but I thought I would prove myself once I got out. But once I started working at the Ministry, I was met with the same comments I heard before I graduated. I don’t want my future family to have the same experience.”

“I- I’m sorry my job has affected you like that,” Arthur apologized, “I had no idea.”

Molly put a hand on her husband’s arm. “Percival Ignatius Weasley. You do NOT talk to your father that way. He has been working hard your entire life and longer to provide for this family! And he’s doing what he loves despite all the jeers he gets from his coworkers. I would say he’s ambitious.”

“It’s not just that, Mum. Crouch and others high up have been telling me Dumbledore is making up You-Know-Who is back to make the Ministry look bad. And you’ve been helping him spread this rumor! They’re starting to question my loyalty!” Percy was upset again.

“But they should listen to Dumbledore. Harry is warning us, and if we don’t do anything now, it will be too late. We can’t wait for the Ministry to sound the alarm after the death eaters start terrorizing again,” his father defended himself.

“We can’t ‘sound the alarms’ just because he believes every word Potter says! His claim is rubbish. There’s no evidence!”

“Why would they not believe Harry? He can hear Voldemort talking to him; he has visions, Perce,” you interjected.

He stormed over to you and grabbed your hand. Before he apparated you back to the flat, he turned to his parents and his face softened. “Please stop associating with Dumbledore. I can’t be around people who are against the Ministry.”

“You know we can’t do that,” Arthur said in an apologetic tone. He crosses his arms and shook his head.

“Fine.”

You made it home, Percy still holding your hand. The floorboards were more interesting than your teary eyes. You finally cleared your throat and tried to find a place to start. “I think...you were a little harsh on your father.” you said choosing your words carefully.

“But he’s put me through so much. I can’t take the way people judge me based on my father’s choices.”

“Perce, he hasn’t done anything wrong. It’s just the way people view muggles. They’re obsessed with how pure their blood is, and condemn Arthur for being passionate about non magical people just because he’s “pure blood.””

“But he could have chosen any other job! He could have been in a higher office, but he chose this!”

“I mean this in the beat way possible, so you can hopefully change your mindset. You’re being disgusting and selfish. It’s not like you to be concerned with someone’s blood status,” you put your hands on his arms and shook him lightly.

He scoffed and tore himself from your grasp. “Disgusting? Selfish? In the best way possible? If I didn’t know any better, I’d assume you’ve been spending too much time with my parents. Oh. And why did you go to them and talk about our relationship?”

You flinched at the harshness in his voice. “I’m sorry. I should have used better words, but I hate thinking you dislike your father because some of your coworkers think they’re better than them. And I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have told your parents about our problems, but I didn’t know who else to go to?”

Percy took off into the bedroom and paced in front of the bed. “Maybe your fiancé?”

You threw your arms up in frustration. “Percy, I tried! Every time I wanted to talk about what’s bothering you, you always brushed me off. If you won’t talk about it, who will?”

“Do you really believe in what Dumbledore is saying? About You-Know-Who?” He asks, changing the subject.

“Of course. Why would he try to make the Ministry look bad?”

Percy pulled a trunk out from the closet and started to fill it with clothes. “Percy! Wh-what are doing?”

“I can’t let anyone know my fiancée supports Dumbledore. I think we need a break.”

A sob escaped your lips as you realised he was leaving you. “Please. Can I do anything to make you stay? I don’t want you to leave,” you begged.

He locked the trunk and walked toward the door. Percy stopped in front of you with a pained look on his face. His voice sounded like he was trying not to cry, “Come find me when you’ve stopped being around Dumbledore’s supporters. They’re bad influences.” And he left.

——

You couldn’t afford the rent of the small flat, so you sent a letter to the Weasleys asking for a place to stay. They kindly let you take Percy’s old room where you spent most of your nights crying. Wondering why your fiancé left you. Wasn’t he the guy all those years ago who helped carry your books to class? Didn’t he get down on one knee and promise he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you? It didn’t make sense why he would sever his ties with his family.

Molly tried to go talk some sense into him and tell him you missed him, but he shut the door as soon as she opened her mouth to speak. Not long after that his Christmas sweaters arrived by owl without a letter explaining why he sent them back.

Everyone was upset by his actions. You constantly had to reassure his parents it wasn’t their fault. Arthur’s job isn’t something he should be ashamed of; pure blood families are obsessed with their status, and will bully everyone who doesn’t share the same values and beliefs. Molly didn’t do anything wrong; she was standing up for her husband which she’s done hundreds of times. The red head family also helped you process your break in the relationship. They were always there to distract yourself or give you much needed advice.

The days blurred together as you started to work long shifts at St. Mungo’s as a healer, finally completing your training. A lot happened in the following months: Hogwarts was back in session, Arthur was injured, the war was about to start, and you and Ron received letters from Percy. Nothing good came from the neat scrawl on the fancy parchment. Ron was told to stop hanging out with Harry as “he’s a bad influence,” and your engagement was called off since it’s been months since you’ve talked.

You agreed with him on that point. What’s the use of being engaged to a man that doesn’t want to be associated with your views? You distracted yourself from the pain by preparing for the battle at Hogwarts with The Order. You taught everyone basic healing spells and what to do in certain medical emergencies.

——

The night before the battle you were sitting on your bed, knees pulled into your chest, as you contemplated the danger of what’s to come. You couldn’t sleep, too anxious for tomorrow. Everyone went to their rooms for the night no doubt in the same position you were in. A knock at the window startled you. You whipped your head to see a large owl holding a letter addressed to you in its claws.

You got up from you bed and open the window. You recognised the neat, loopy writing immediately. Percy. You didn’t exactly want to read what was inside; he already said he didn’t want to marry you anymore. What else does he want to tell you?

You reluctantly tore the letter open and began to read.

Y/N,

I am so sorry. You didn’t deserve the way I treated you. I shouldn’t have left you because those at the Ministry wouldn’t approve of your views. It was wrong of me to let my coworkers cloud my views of my family, the love of my life, and my father. Although it’s not an excuse for my behavior, I snapped after hearing people talk poorly of my loved ones constantly at school and work. I can’t believe I let it get the better of me. I plan to talk to my family tomorrow before the war. I want to talk to them before anything happens. I don’t know what I’ll do if I won’t get to fight by their side. Merlin, Y/N, I still love you. I miss you so much, and I know I’ve hurt you. If you’d like, here’s the address to come see me. It’s understandable if you don’t want to.

Sincerely and with love, Percy

You read the letter over and over not quite sure if you were happy or not. He’s said some awful things to you and his family, and you weren’t sure if you were ready to forget that. And he still loved you. Gosh you loved him too, but you didn’t want to become engaged again. You still had a lot to think about.

You decided you were going to see him after all. Who knows, this could be your last night alive. You wrote a quick note to the Weasleys explaining where you were going and left the letter there for them to read.

——

The flat in London was fairly nice. It no doubt cost a pretty galleon. You walked up the steps to the brass knocker on the door that read “112 A” and knocked. The door opened less than a minute later, and a shocked red head stood before you.

“Y/N. You actually showed up,” he breathed and motioned for you to enter the flat. 

You stepped through the doorway to find a well lit apartment; beautiful yet simple furniture was placed throughout the room. 

“Looks nice in here,” you complimented, not sure where to start.  

“Thanks. It’s not the homely as our home on Diagon Alley.” He cleared his throat. “I heard you’re living with the rest of my family. At the Burrow I mean.”

“Yeah. I couldn’t keep up with the rent.”

Percy looked at you with a look that showed he felt awful for letting that happen. 

“I understand why you felt like you had to prove you were loyal to the Ministry, but cutting off your family? Calling off your engagement?! Percy I loved you!” You were now sobbing in front of the man who was your fiance. He really wants to pull you in for a hug, but he knew you were furious. 

“I loved you, too. It was wrong and disgusting of me to disown my family. I still love you. If you don’t want to be with me anymore, that’s fine.”

You wiped your tears and waited until you could speak again without sobbing again. “I want to be with you again, too. But I’m not sure if that’s the best idea, Perce. It’s been months since we’ve spoken. And you said some pretty awful things.”

Percy looked away and tried not to cry. He messed up big time, and there’s nothing he can do to reverse the damage. 

“I know,” he whispered. 

“I’m going to need time to rethink everything.”

He nodded as a response, looking down at his feet. You walked up to him and hugged him tightly. He wrapped his arms around you and buried his face in your hair. 

“Can you please stay the night? I just need someone to hold before tomorrow.”

You nodded a yes as you wished for the same thing. You needed comfort, and this took you back to a time where all you had to worry about was a potions test. Who knew what tomorrow could bring?

[swtorramblings]

The Many in the One

For Day 3 of Mace Windu Appreciation Week.

Crossover: There are plenty of interesting works of fiction and fictional characters out there, let’s see Mace interacting with one, or more! Is it someone from another sci-fi series? Or another Samuel L. Jackson character? The sky’s the limit for who he might meet.

Sorry, but romance? Ships? I’d need a much longer run up for anything like that, if I could make it work at all. I should have started earlier in the month, I guess. Well, unless it was set to Disney music. Hmm… So, I went with the alternative. As such, it is quite a bit more far-fetched than the previous stories. Hopefully still all right, though. It’s also longer.

“Unlimited power!” As the last words Mace was ever going to hear, those were especially stupid. And horribly frustrating. He’d protected the Republic all his life. Dying now to this tyrant that had installed himself as its ruler, with the approval of so many, crushed his hopes long before it was going to crush his body. It was almost a relief when he was flung out the broken window. He fell, his final thoughts devoted to trying to find a solution, something that could have been done differently, tormenting him with answers that no one could have known until it was much too late. Then, he had a vision. Wolves, racing in a circle. A way to make another chance, a portal opened in the past, but reaching out to him now, and echoing into the future and the past. He reached for it with his remaining hand, closed his eyes, and pulled. He landed on a path, floating strangely in space. He had expected to be crushed by the fall, still, but looking around, his survival in this strange place was probably the least surprising thing about it. He could sense them out there, all of those that had ever been able to access this place, this world between worlds. In this place, there was only this one moment, so they were all here. Thousands of them, perhaps. Along with several other Mace Windus. He tended to his injury first. The wrist was cauterized, so he was in no danger of bleeding to death, but he wanted to be sure it wouldn’t cause him any further issues, other than having to adjust his fighting techniques. Then he remembered that he had lost his lightsaber along with the hand. He realized also that he was still in shock, from the fight, from the failure. No point in dwelling on it. He set off, exploring this strange place. He found several portals back to the galaxy, but recognized them for the past. He was tempted, to go through one, to warn them, perhaps even to warn himself. As he explored, though, he realized that he would unravel reality if he did so. What had happened was tragic, but he couldn’t risk making it even worse. Then, strangely, he found himself, but not as he had ever been. It wasn’t his past, and he had no future, so who was this? He was certain that it wasn’t just a random resemblance, but truly himself, and yet not. This portal, he could feel, was safe. More, it was necessary. He stepped through. The other him was startled, of coursed, but calmed himself quickly and echoed Mace’s own thoughts from earlier. “Well, you’re not the strangest thing I’ve seen lately.” “No, neither are you. Where am I? Who are you?” “It’s hard to explain. We’re inside a vessel from the far future, where a horrible accident flung it here. I’m Dr. Harry Adams.” “Ah, that does make sense. Mace Windu.” “That’s an odd name.” “I could say the same. Anyway, I’m dealing with time travel right now myself.” “Because of course you are. The problem is, this machine is twisting our own thoughts against us. I’m trying to be dispassionate, but my own fears will add to the others eventually if we can’t get them under control.” He felt it, pulling at him as well. Power to make his thoughts real, if he let it, if he could remain focused, but horribly destructive if he lost control. He smiled at his latest apprentice. “That, at least, I think I can help you with.”

The training took some time, but their unique situation made it possible, still. He didn’t have to train Harry in all the nuances of the Force, or lightsaber combat, strategy, or any of the myriad things a Jedi might need. Only the technique of self-control, awareness, and letting go. Still, it probably took years. Harry was normally too old to have accepted this teaching, but they had the time. Eventually, he shook hands with his teacher, and left the sphere. Mace knew he would eventually have to return to the path. He also realized that he had already done what he was about to do. He was beginning to hate time travel. He returned to the world between worlds, allowing himself to be drawn back. He looked at his new hand, a robotic one similar to the one Skywalker sported, created with the Sphere’s power. It made him uncomfortable, but something had told him that he would need it soon. The other item he’d created while in the Sphere he drew from his belt. As he pressed the switch, the purple light made him smile.

He came to another portal, seeing himself once again, an older man who had endured a great deal, and was using that experience to save others, to force them to act together to save themselves. Moments later, he died, horribly. Mace waited for the scene to start over again. He could appreciate irony, and knew he probably shouldn’t interfere, but this went too far. He was speaking his last words now. “But first, we’re going to seal off this…” Mace jumped through the portal and struck just as the massive aquatic beast emerged from the water, slashing through it with his lightsaber, driving it, badly wounded, back into the water. Then he raised his hand, strained for a moment, and brought down the heavy steel door slamming down to seal this entryway. His counterpart backed away, gaping at him in fear. He tried to smile reassuringly for a moment, but it wasn’t working, so he turned to the others. “All of you, are you going to listen to this man?” They just stared. “I said…” Uncharacteristically, he raised his voice. He preferred calm persuasion, but it seemed like what they would respond to. “ARE YOU GOING TO LISTEN TO THIS MAN?” They all started nodding vigorously. One of them said, “Yes, anything he says.” “Good. Maybe you’ll get out of here alive.” Two journeys, both underwater. He wondered if Master Fisto should have been on this journey, but the job had fallen to him. Still, he liked the idea that he was honoring his old friend here. He hoped he would approve, even if he had to hurt the sea creature. He nodded to himself, who nodded back, and stepped back onto the path.

He saved a brutal man, a version of himself that was a paid killer, with a simple telekinetic trick to divert the projectiles that would have killed him. This also saved this version’s friend, but only for the moment. The other him, though, decided to do better. As a small reward, Mace got a glimpse of something in a case his other self carried, and was comforted for a moment by its golden light. Really, the snakes were no trouble at all. His fragile but brilliant self Mace attempted to persuade from his path, but he was too enamored of his own theories about the way the world worked to be changed. A shame. The leader, the manipulator, the organizer, he also couldn’t save, gunned down in his apartment. Mace eventually replaced him, knowing that his work wasn’t done, learning enough of this strange world to be able to explain how he had lived through the attack that his allies found plausible. It was a good life for a time, though the eyepatch sometimes itched. Eventually, though, after having seen himself in many lives and many circumstances, his own hair grown and gray, he knew his time was nearly over. Through one last portal, before he returned to that moment on Coruscant, he heard his own voice, impossibly helping a young woman, a young Jedi, long after his own death. He knew he had to return to be there when she would need them all, so he went back to that first portal, finally, and fulfilled his fate and his duty with no regrets. Mace Windu became one with the Force, like all before and after him, but had touched the multiverse. How could he have regrets?

[halothenthehorns]

TLTNL- FIGHT AND FLIGHT

Remus wasn't fooled, he'd been watching over Harry's shoulder for just this. His eyes burned with every word that wasn't the fatal blow of Sirius' death, and still was just as much relieved they had another few moments to cling to that hope. He snapped forward and pried the book away from Harry, even as he tried to cling to it in protest.

"No, you guys shouldn't-"

"And you think you should?" Remus demanded as he matched Harry's glare. It felt like they were playing a real life version of Snape's task from so many days ago. Which was the deadly part of this? Who would it be, forced to say the words of what truly did their family in? Letting Harry get through it all by himself though would not be tolerated by a single one, and now surrounded on all sides as they all were, it would be the only chance they had to live through it.

Harry very reluctantly handed it over, and at once began pressing a trembling hand to his scar. Now he had nothing to occupy his hands, but knew their torturous pain of only having to listen as at any moment, the vision could overtake Harry again...

Harry had no clue if Hermione even had a plan as he followed just behind her and in front of Umbridge's wand. He didn't even dare ask her, for Umbridge was literally breathing on their necks.

Sirius still wished someone would offer speculation, a joke, anything! He kept hoping that somehow, any moment now, he'd drop in front of Harry with the magical story of his escape, he'd been the one to put Voldemort back in his place.

Hermione led them down past the Great Hall where the din of voices were chatting over dinner,

James made a little squeak noise. He could feel the time pressing into them in here, turning them more petrified by the second as they were forced to listen to this, and it had been even longer in Harry's time, how much longer did Sirius have!?

  it seemed incredible to him there were people twenty feet away just laughing about the exams being over without a real care in the world.

Lily had been shaking nonstop for quite some time, but that caused yet another tremor for a wholly other reason. If only her sacrifice had meant something more. She felt as if she'd only bought her son a spare few years, but he just kept suffering a life that no one should ever have to live through.

Hermione was walking swiftly out onto the grounds. Umbridge asked if it was in Hagrid's place?

Hermione scathingly said he'd have accidentally set it off.

"Play to her own idiocies," Remus muttered absently, his mind really not at all on this as he felt they were only getting further away from the help Sirius so needed. Hermione should have led her down to Snape's office, maybe he'd have done something useful for once in his life and stunned this troll bogie for them and then explained the plan of how to help Sirius!

Umbridge agreed at once, the half-breed oaf, then she laughed.

Harry had the urge to turn around and seize her by the throat, but resisted.

"I don't know how," Sirius said honestly.

His scar was still paining him through all this, but it did not yet burn white-hot as he knew it would for a kill.

Sirius wanted to shake off their concern again, but it was getting harder by the moment as his own chest restricted painfully. What he would give for Harry to never have known that pain, but he didn't seem able to find that hope as easily as his friends Harry would find some way out of this for him. After all, when Voldemort wanted you dead...and even James hadn't been able to fight him off...

Umbridge impatiently asked where it was, a touch of uncertainty in her for the first time as Hermione kept walking right towards the Forbidden Forest.

"Does she only just now wonder if she's being played?" Sirius tried desperately for that chipper tone at her idiocy, but it still came out more chilling as Harry shivered, he could still hear Sirius' screams of pain.

Hermione gestured in here of course, where students couldn't come across it. Umbridge was clearly more apprehensive now, but insisted they stay ahead of her.

Harry asked could they at least have her wand if they were going first.

"If she were that stupid, killing her would hold almost no fun," James said deadpan.

Umbridge said no at once, the Ministry put a higher value on her life than his.

"Which really goes to show the Ministry's priorities, oh, no wait, we already knew they respected dung more than anything," Lily muttered.

Harry tried to catch Hermione's eye again, trying to convey waltzing into the Forest unarmed may be the stupidest thing they'd done yet.

Remus suddenly had their attention far more than anything yet. The Marauders couldn't help it, if they'd been concocting some kind of plan, they'd have initiated it somewhere in here too, an area they honestly claimed to know better than even the castle. The intrigue finally brought them off of Sirius for even a second, what was Hermione up to?

She however took no notice of him, ploughing through the thickest bushes without care, and Umbridge's shorter legs were having trouble keeping pace.

Lily honestly wondered if that could be the plan, Umbridge certainly didn't know her way well enough, she could get lost.

After ripping her robes in bramble she demanded how far in it was.

Hermione said very, with confidence that Harry didn't have. Hermione wasn't on the path leading them to Grawp,

James lost any train of thought he might have cobbled together. If Hermione did have any idea in mind, it may well have been just that, in hopes Grawp would take care of their splinter and they could get back the real problem. Either she was lost or- he couldn't think past anything but wishing more than ever this future would never come.

but the one he followed three years ago to the lair of Aragog.

"Uhoh," Remus muttered, now convinced whatever plan she may have was now nonexistent and she was scrambling as desperately as them for a way out of this.

Harry tried to warn her of this, asking if she was sure they were going the right way, but she gave him the same steely answer and ignored him as she stepped with wholly unnecessary amounts of noise while Umbridge tripped right over a tree and fell. Neither of them paused to help her up.

"There's no way I'd consider you a person if you did," James stated.

Harry instead took her moment of distraction to hiss at Hermione to keep it down, but Hermione said she wanted to be heard.

That caught them all off guard, Harry blinking slowly as he tried to get his eyes to adjust to this. He still felt more than anything that feeling for what Sirius was going through, it was impossible to erase, but he could distantly recognize something new trying to trump that, some new fear coupled with something long overdue...

They kept going until the canopy overhead took away all light, and Harry had that feeling he was being watched by unseen eyes.

The boys had felt that way many times in the forest, and though it wasn't always a bad thing, it certainly wasn't something they wanted Harry to be experiencing right now! It was only another delay, another few lines they'd have to hear of Sirius not being safe.

The next time Umbridge demanded how much farther, she was cut off by an arrow thudding into a tree just above her head.

Lily startled so bad her wand was pointed at Remus before she'd even recognized the motion. Between Sirius a breath away from not having a future in that thing and now Harry being drug around the most dangerous place for him to be wandless, she was far past her wits end with anything else to do but curse the next thing that came too close.

Remus only paused for a moment to watch her before going back to reading, unable to concentrate long enough to even check if she stowed it away. Normally the sight would have terrified him from someone so genuinely formidable, especially her in this situation, but if she wanted to take this from him when he didn't have his answer for Sirius yet she'd have to try harder than that.

They were not alone, out of nowhere the sound of hooves surrounded them on all sides, and Umbridge kept Harry in front of her as if a human shield.

Sirius' face twisted in disgust, his hands still itching to crack her head in. His godson was trying to risk his life for him, and that soiled cat litter was using him to cover her own disgusting flesh!

Harry watched the binding in Remus' hands crack dangerously, they all flashed with murder again and he worried it would be far too long before they passed off of that. As pent up and stressed as they were for Sirius and now him, it seemed a miracle if Umbridge didn't enact another break away from this place more every line. Yet that same detached part of him pleasantly informed, while giving him another sock to his temple he had no need for with the rest of his pain, that hopefully something was going to come of this. Not good, that emotion was impossible to grasp right now, but something not bad.

He got himself free of her grasp just as the fifty centaurs came into view, bows drawn and all pointed at the three of them.

James made that noise again, and Sirius desperately put his arm around his best mate. It was the only thing holding him together now, realizing that Harry and Sirius truly were both in life threatening situations, and he couldn't do anything for either of them! This all somehow grew successively worse every single day, he was literally being torn in two for his family. There was no sign of his ghost coming back this time to offer anyone anything!

They remained very still as they were surrounded, Harry ignoring Umbridge's little whimpers of terror and instead spotting Hermione's triumphant smile.

"This was her plan!" Lily shrieked, and Remus actually did recoil in fear from her now, from this life somehow Harry survived and honestly none of them had a clue how at this point. "To make the centaurs angry!"

"I, can actually see this one, a bit," Sirius whispered, his eyes still too wide but certainly there was something in his voice now holding to that. "She knows exactly how Umbridge is going to treat these guys, and they're going to go ballistic, maybe kill her if we're lucky. Yet those two are still young, innocent the centaurs have said themselves, so if they play this right, they'll walk right back out of there without her."

"I, well yes but she-" Lily still failed to truly put her heart into this even if she could see the logic. She was sick with worry for one of her boys already, but in all fairness it's not like she'd come up with an alternative, she was still reeling from what was going on with Sirius. Hermione's level headedness may be their saving grace as she tried to wave Remus on without full blown panicking.

Magorian stepped forward, and Umbridge pointed her trembling wand at him.

Remus scoffed low in his throat in disgust, easily imagining such a pathetic response from something able to fight back against her. A braver person than her would have cowed in front of a herd of angry centaurs, but after all she'd done to Harry and too many innocent children, whatever happened to her next because of this would be so sweetly deserved even Umbridge's voice couldn't manage it.

Umbridge declared herself as Senior Undersecretary to the Minister of Magic, Headmistress, and High Inquisitor of Hogwarts.

"She is no such thing!" Sirius vowed, he'd never view her as anything more than a lower life form than the mice Mrs. Norris spat out for not being edible enough.

Magorian was not impressed by her Ministry status.

Umbridge was though, trying to steady her voice as she recited their laws that under the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, an attack by half-breeds such as them on a human-

"Now she's done it," James said distantly, though he'd never been less invested in Umbridge in his life. If this had been going on any other time than when Sirius needed him...

Hermione told her not to call them that, but it went unheard as many centaurs around them roared in outrage for the slur.

"Trying to distance herself, a very good idea right now," Remus muttered, his fingers tapping restlessly against the book as he still recognized how dangerous this was for Harry. Just being a human in her presence right now was a danger, no matter their age.

Umbridge cared nothing, still going on loudly that they fell under the category of near- human intelligence-

"That's right, keep insulting them," Sirius never thought he would be encouraging Umbridge to do anything, but this was a better distraction from his own problem than he ever would have hoped to ask for. "I've always wanted to hear of dismemberment by centaurs."

but even her voice failed as Magorian shouted they considered that a great insult, their intelligence far outsripped hers!

A grey centaur demanded what she was doing in their Forest?

Umbridge was now shaking with as much fright as indignation.

"I never would have thought she could really be this dense," Lily hissed. As foul as they'd all found her, they never would have thought she'd be this stupid. Even the lowest life form must realize by now who was the dominant one in this environment.

She reminded them they only lived here because the Ministry permitted it.

"Dead." James said flatly, every single part of him praying that was the only death of this one.

An arrow flew so close to her it caught a few strands of her hair before again leveling out in a tree, now with a wild neigh echoing from all sides that left Harry unnerved.

"Now I know where your mind still is if unnerving is all you're getting from this," Remus shifted uneasily, still all to fearful Harry and Hermione would be caught in the crossfire any second, and yet hardly wanting to flip back any moment and hear of what Voldemort was doing to Sirius. This was a true torture in itself.

Umbridge shrieked at them, then shot the spell Incarcerous at the nearest one.

"Oh no, I was wrong," James conceded. "Now she's dead."

"And here we are, not even able to enjoy it," Remus muttered, his hand always on the next page, never wanting to keep going until the precious words arrived Sirius had escaped.

Ropes flew from her wand and encircled him, she'd gone too far. The centaurs rushed her in a rage, Harry recognizing Bane to be the one to lift her right off the ground with one arm and lear at her. Umbridge's wand fell, and Harry's heart gave a tiny leap of hope as he reached for it, but a hoof smashed it in half.

"Honestly I don't think it was worth it," Sirius grumbled in disgust. Harry would get his wand back, no need to degrade himself into using that tarnished wood once used by a frog thicker than any pondscum.

She was dragged away kicking and screaming, her pleas meaning nothing as she vanished into the distant forest.

Remus vaguely recalled a few myths he'd heard of what centaurus did when they really wanted you dead, and honestly if even a portion of them were true he'd have felt genuine fear under any other circumstances, but now he was just wishing this had all been done in the beginning to her.

Harry rubbed at his scar, not on his forehead, but the back of his hand, his eyes actually burning hatefully for someone other than Voldemort or himself for just a moment. Umbridge's screams and pleas for help had meant nothing to him then or now.

"Was she really begging you to actually help her?" James honestly couldn't believe that one, even the Dursley's wouldn't really be so stupid!

"Yes," Harry said, his right hand clenched into a hard fist, "but I didn't bother of course, after all, I must not tell lies."*

Sirius grinned crazily at Harry, patting his knee with far too much enthusiasm for this. It all fit together rather well in his mind, he'd take on Voldemort all over again if he could get these set of circumstances to happen to Umbridge any day, they couldn't have set up a better revenge if they'd tried!

The others did not agree, but none could deny either they weren't just a bit grimly pleased something had been worth it in all this mayhem and heartbreak, though it would mean nothing if the one most important to them didn't make it through.

Screaming non-stop, her voice grew fainter and fainter until it could no longer be heard over the trampling of hooves still surrounding them.

"Not good," Lily hissed, chanting that under her breath now as she removed her nails from James and let them dig into her own palm instead, the fear twisting her innards relieving nothing. She couldn't erase the idea Harry was still in the middle of all this.

James reached over and put her hands right back inside his, the only thing stilling the shaking, he didn't care the little pinpricks of her fear pushing into him instead, it was yet another reminder, a way to distance himself from seeing this happening to Harry on one level and still seeing Sirius just beyond that in a position he'd die before allowing himself to stay in at Voldemort's feet.

Harry was yanked by another centaur grabbing the back of his neck, the centaurs now demanding what should be done with them.

One pointed out they did not hurt foals, but another reminded they'd been the ones to bring her here.

"Shit!" Lily yelped, startling in place all over again. The centaurs had been watching the whole time, they knew Hermione's hadn't been a complete ruse!

"This could still work in their favor," Remus tried desperately to placate. "She had them at wand point this whole time, if they play this right they could pin it all on Umbridge forcing them to go in there."

The one holding Harry even pointed out they weren't so young, this one was nearing manhood with a hard shake to Harry.

"There's a compliment somewhere in there," James managed softly as he watched his son, his own age, that sting always present in the back of his mind he'd never truly seen him grow up, that these centaurs had seen his son at more stages of his life than he had.

Hermione pleaded they were nothing like her, they didn't care for the Ministry, they'd only come in here so they could drive her off.

"Gah, she was doing so good for a moment!" Remus found a new shade of pale all his own in fear for that line.

"How did she manage to say the worst possible thing," Sirius groaned miserably, now realizing their earlier fears had been preemptive, Hermione may have earned herself a death sentence along with Umbridge for that one alone.

Harry at once knew she'd said the wrong thing, as the one holding her stamped his feet in fury, telling Ronan they were no better than the rest of their kind with their arrogance!

"Don't ever let them meet Sirius or they'll know that's true." Lily tried to say that in her normal voice she always spoke to him with, it was easier on her heart for just a second to look him in the eyes and as always give a poke at him.

Sirius responded as always, flashing her a grin, but it was still lost on the others, as Lily only managed to remind them they'd give anything for Sirius to be in this with Harry rather than where he was.

Demanding of her she just expected them to do their work like obedient ponies?

Hermione pleaded she'd only been hoping they'd help, but she was going from bad to worse.

"I fear we've reached past the point where words help," James managed to get out, no longer able to support his own weight and would have long since fallen over if he wasn't already down. He could feel he was about to be reduced to tears any moment now, because even looking at Harry and knowing he made it out alive, he still hadn't stopped rubbing his scar this whole time. This still wasn't the biggest fear of his night, and there was only one thing worse than fearing for Hermione's life right now.

The centaur holding Harry reared up in outrage, actually taking Harry's feet off the ground for a moment as he shouted in anger they would not permit these ones to leave, boasting about the centaurs doing their bidding!

Sirius hadn't thought it possible to be more frightened for Harry than he was moments ago, still knowing his pup could slip back into Voldemort's mind any moment when this fight between them ended, but somehow he'd certainly found a way to go past that into another level of fear. What did those centaurs do to him before someone came along to the rescue!

It seemed decided they'd join the woman!

Lily retched, one hand finally leaving her husbands now to tangle with Harry's as well, fingers twisted so tight nothing could have pulled them from her.

Centaurs were an ancient race who would not let this stand, they were superior, they-

Whatever else they were went unheard.

James spluttered something that might have been relief for this finally being cut off, though this only meant his worry for Sirius went right back up to the top now that Harry was free. 

Suddenly the two were dropped, all hands back on weapons as a new rumbling shook the forest.

"A proper warrior," Remus muttered without surprise, the centaurs were clearly trained to recognize threat over arrogance, something Umbridge was now being taught.

Harry hurried so he was crouched over Hermione protectively as Grawp poked his face in.

"You said what now?" Sirius squeaked.

"I-" Remus' voice failed as he couldn't repeat that one. According to Harry they hadn't been anywhere near where Grawp was tied up, so how was he, why...

Harry grew impatient with their surprise even as he felt his own pitiful relief for the save he didn't feel he deserved. He was almost angry for the rescue, like he knew he'd deserved to stay in that forest and the centaurs punishment would still be better than the rest of this memory. He couldn't just let himself sit around with that or he'd explode, but Harry's trying to keep going only spurred Remus back into fully grasping this. He certainly hadn't forgotten as his knee stayed tight pressed to Sirius, that stupid annoying voice of his always near the back of his ear, and he filed whatever emotions he had for anything else away for later.

He gazed down, unimpressed at the herd as his dull eyes traveled over them as if searching for something he'd dropped, there were broken ropes trailing his ankles.

Sirius was still making some noise with his throat like he was trying to attempt speech. They'd hardly forgotten about Grawp, but this never would have crossed anyone's mind! How had he even gotten loose? A giant was actually walking freely around their forest! He could no longer decide if it was fear, or indignation keeping him listening.

Clearly not finding what he was looking for, he said Hagger.

Remus couldn't help but falter from surprise again. He didn't know any words in Giant, but he honestly didn't feel that's what Grawp wanted either, that didn't exactly sound like he was asking for directions back to his mountain now he'd gotten himself free.

The centaurs remained tight in their fighting stance as Grawp repeated this with insistence.

Lily covered her mouth in surprise, wondering at that all of a sudden, and how he hadn't been able to say Hermione's name quite right either, but surely he wouldn't...

Grawp stooped, looking more closely than ever, still saying Hagger.

Hermione gasped as she whispered to Harry he was trying to say Hagrid.

"But, why would he?" James demanded, feeling woozy from too many things going on, and now he could add his son being crushed by a giant again to that list even if it was by accident.

"I think he actually grew to care for Hagrid," Lily hummed, so constantly near tears of late from her eyes constantly flickering to Sirius this almost set her off again.

"I, wow, I did not see that coming," Remus muttered, though admittedly touched for Hagrid, imagining the big guys face if he'd seen his brother now.

Grawp spotted them among the sea of colors, and rumbled Hermy in recognition.

"Now we know Hermione was right," Sirius blinked spastically, though a laugh was still too far gone for him.

"Bless Hagrid," Lily said with a hard catch in her throat, she couldn't imagine what would have happened to her Hare Bear if their game keeper wasn't the way he was.

Hermione shook in surprise as Grawp demanded where Hagger was.

"We all want Hagrid back," Harry muttered, he'd actually stopped rubbing at his head for a moment to gaze at the book with longing before turning wretched eyes to Sirius. There were a lot of things in his life he wished he'd had back, Grawp should consider himself lucky Hagrid really was just, inconvenienced right now.

Unsatisfied with her lack of answer, Grawp's hand reached out for Hermione, and Harry tensed ready for a fight, prepared to bite, kick or do anything he could to keep him off of her.

They all twitched with unease, that fight or flight instinct wanting to kick in here more every moment, none were crazy enough to think they could fight off a giant. Even with the confidence now Grawp wouldn't really do them harm, it was not a pleasant thing to be thinking of Harry so casually tossed over Group's shoulders when he realized he'd caught the wrong person.

He didn't get that far, he'd shoved a centaur right off it's feet and batted him away trying to reach for her, and this was what they'd been waiting on, as fifty arrows were shot right into Grawps face.

Lily gasped, the urge to vomit becoming more every moment. Now she could easily imagine this horrific scene, and both sides so furious, and their son still caught in the middle of it all.

Grawp roared, bringing his hands up to take the shafts out, but only digging the points in deeper. He began thundering around chasing the centaurs, who all scattered and fled.

Harry and Hermione were left, shaking with fright as Hermione whispered if he'd kill them all.

Harry said he wouldn't be too fussed if so.

"I, can not, believe that just happened," Sirius shook his head slowly. How did Harry's life keep getting crazier by the hour!? They still hadn't even gotten to the part where Harry was going to go kamikaze up to the Ministry for him!

He was not paying attention to anything around him anymore, as his scar gave another twinge of pain and a thrill of terror possessed him as he realized how much time they'd wasted.

James wasn't sure how many times his heart could stop beating before he keeled over, but he was sure he was close by now. He could feel that time too, like Sirius' heartbeats were even now being numbered!

They were even further than before from rescuing Sirius, and Harry turned with fury on Hermione for this, demanding what now?

"Ah Harry, don't take it out on her," Sirius said. He felt so faint, getting a first hand account of his own death, not able to tell Harry for one moment what he was doing was wrong for trying to stop it, but at the same time there was almost a relief, a calmness in him Harry had never put himself in danger for his sake, again.

"Thought that was my line," Harry muttered, his eyes still holding a dead look that continued to horrify them more than anything, as if nothing he'd yet done had even made a difference, Sirius' fate was already sealed. They couldn't believe that though, they wouldn't!

Hermione reminded they'd go back to the castle, and Harry shouted at her by the time they managed that Sirius would already be dead, kicking at a tree in temper.

Remus felt a hollow laugh, watching that reaction alone, afraid to look at Harry and see his eyes again. If that was the worst reaction Harry had, this whole ordeal really could be bearable, please let that be the worst thing Harry do!

Hermione insisted it was the only thing, they couldn't do anything without their wands and they still didn't have a way to get to the Ministry.

A voice behind them agreed they'd just been wondering that. They turned to find their friends they'd left in Umbridge's office coming towards them, all looking worse for wear as if having been in a fight, but also looking quite pleased with themselves.

"Well, at least someone's been productive," Harry seethed hatefully, never having felt more useless in his life than he did in this moment, still wishing he'd chased Grawp down or those centaurs. He couldn't understand where his mind was coming from with this, it just couldn't be true there really was no out for Sirius, he must be misunderstanding something!

Harry asked how they'd gotten away, and Ron explained they'd all let off some stunners at once, a disarming charm on one, and Neville did quite the Impedimenta jinx. Ginny's was the best, she did a Bat Bogey Hex on Malfoy, he was still covered with the things when they'd left.

There was some long lost part of James he couldn't find right now where he and his friends should have been laughing at that, congratulating little Ginny and how far she'd come.

"I think Harry more meant how'd they got their wands back," Sirius said, clearly finding this the most interesting thing to think about right now no matter how much anyone else disagreed.

"I'm wondering if it was Luna," Lily offered, still fighting off the urge to keep screaming now that the kids were back to just trying to figure out what to do, at least before they'd felt the movement! "Her complacency, could have caused a sneak attack, got their wands away to start this."

"Prongs, I really can see why you fell for such a devious woman, concocting that idea. I'm sorry I didn't appreciate that more in school." Sirius told him pleasantly.

James shook his head from side to side with that tight feeling still restricting his heart from truly smiling back, but Sirius could always drag him back to this world no matter how lost in thought he'd get. "Guess I should be rather glad, don't need you pining after her as well, she had enough blokes doing that."

Lily swatted them both good naturedly while Sirius rolled his eyes.

Ron concluded they'd seen them heading into the Forest from the office so they'd followed.

"And they just managed to find them in that great big-"

"Shh," Lily shushed Sirius before he could interrupt again, she was going to go ballistic if she didn't hear of Harry on the move soon, they could feel now more than ever Sirius was running out of whatever time he had.

Ron asked what they'd done with Umbridge, and Harry briefly explained the centaurs and Grawp. Luna asked who Grawp was, and Ron informed Hagrid's little brother.

"Great, now we're all caught up!" James said through gritted teeth, this had been the longest hour of his life, and he never would have thought anything could trump the moment Peter had betrayed him, and he'd never hoped something else would!

Harry testily cut in Sirius was still alive for now, but they had to come up with a solution before that changed. They all fell silent, all clearly growing scared of this insurmountable problem.

"Go back to the school!" Remus seemed aghast that wasn't Harry's first thought. "Make damn sure Snape got the message! Hell, Umbridge's fireplace is open now! Go back and use that!" He stopped quickly though, as his practically shouting these things was doing nothing but making Harry more miserable by the second. They could all feel how much he was blaming himself for this, and Remus would never want to feel as if he were making that worse. He honestly believed he wouldn't have been any more clear headed in the moment, more than likely standing around and panicking just like Harry in trying to understand what he could do to help, so he just kept himself going, any answer would be better than watching the poor kid beat himself up over this.

Luna said they'd fly as if that were the most obvious thing in the world.

'Oh yes, running off to get brooms is the most logical thing,' Remus couldn't help that mocking thought which he firmly kept to himself as it was no more helpful than last time, he just wanted to be on the move already even with his Padfoot right here by his side.

Harry irritably said that was no help, Ron was the only one who had a broom that wasn't being guarded. Ginny pointed out she had one-

Harry corrected that wasn't the point, she was too-

Ginny said fiercely she was three years older than him when he'd first faced Voldemort.

"She's got you there though," Sirius managed a real chuckle.

"She's going to get herself killed!" Harry hissed, somehow his panic climbing even worse than before and he hadn't thought that was possible, but now the reality his friends were in danger  really was pushing him farther than ever. His temple gave an extra hard throb, he could feel that pain and panic climbing every second, soon he wouldn't be able to tell past from present and he'd go darting out of this place himself to go rescue a Sirius right next to him.

Neville jumped in to remind they'd been in the DA to fight Voldemort, or had that all been some game?

"I think Neville really deserves something there," Lily said softly as she watched Harry bury his face in his hands with resignation. "He has the least understanding of what's going on, he doesn't even know who Sirius is. Even if he has put the name to the one in the papers, that makes this all the more unbelievable of the lad."

"Yeah, great, he's a bloody saint," Harry got out around a tight throat, pushing his glasses off his face for a moment to rub at bloodshot eyes, but quickly fixing that so he would never have to stop looking at Sirius for a moment longer than he had to. His mother was right, they all were, he was more grateful and longing in his life for the worst moment in his life just for those friends he no longer had at his side even with his family he had now.

Harry exchanged a look with Ron, both thinking the same. If they'd been able to pick members from the DA, it would not have been these three.

"Who would you have picked?" Sirius scrutinized that one oddly. "Cho? Zacharia? Collin? I never heard better options than the ones you've got."

"They're the ones asking to be there," James agreed, blinking fast to try and push that cursed vision from Harry's mind out of his for just one moment, it wasn't working.

Harry was still trembling worse than ever, wanting to go and save Sirius already, but now feeling as if he understood that anger at himself, if any of his friends got hurt because they'd gone with him...

Harry said through gritted teeth none of this mattered as they still didn't have a way to get there, though Luna cut in to simply again remind they were going to fly.

"She can keep saying that all she likes, it doesn't mean an Occarumpent is going to appear!" Remus ground out.

He hardly noticed the odd looks he was being given and jerked his head back up to glare at Sirius as he interrupted to ask what that even was.

"An occamy and an erumpent, keep up Sirius."

Sirius raised his hands in surrender, he hadn't been expecting Moony to be mocking Luna's weird creature ideas right now.

Ron said it must be nice if she could sprout wings at will, but none of them did!

Luna reminded there were other ways to fly, and Ron demanded if she was going to summon a Kacky Snorgle to her?

Luna corrected Crumple-Horned Snorkacks couldn't fly,

"Yes, because that was the part she caught on," Remus rolled his eyes heavily, feeling the pressure more than anyone he'd wasted all of his breath on things that weren't getting Sirius away from danger.

but they could, and Hagrid had said they were very good at finding places.

Harry turned to see Luna gesturing at two Thestrals looking on at them curiously from the shadows.

"Oh," they all muttered in genuine surprise. Only one of their members had been able to see those things in their day, and for the first time they wondered how often he'd seen those in the Forest without even mentioning it to them. This still held nothing to their honest thought this was the most ridiculous and long winded way Harry could use to get there! Yet berating him over it would do nothing but make them all feel even worse, they just wished someone other than Luna had offered up an idea, which was more than likely where Moony's ire with her currently was.

Harry went towards them at once with glee, and he watched them toss their reptilian heads wondering how he'd ever found them ugly.

"You can still find things ugly and useful," Lily said primly with a sideways look at Sirius, who openly ignored that one, there were some things even he wouldn't joke about, and now wasn't the time for those kinds of jokes on her part.

Ron was looking slightly to the left of where the Thestral now was, confirming it was those mad horse things you couldn't see unless you'd seen someone snuff it.

"Lest Ron's as lovely as ever," Lily muttered, more for herself that time as Sirius' eyes did brighten with humor at that one.

Hermione asked how many there were, and when he said two, she said they needed at least three.

"She could just ride on the back of one of the boys, they're tough things," James grumped, if this was how they were going to travel, he wanted this to be done with!

Luna corrected six, and Harry snapped fine, but unless they found more Thestrals this was still-

Ginny pointed out more would come, squinting more above where the Thestral was,

"Credit for trying?" Remus said snippily, well aware he was clutching the last page of his chapter and only more problems had been added to this already paralyzing situation!

as Harry and Hermione were still covered in droplets of Grawp's blood from when he'd been shot in the face, the two reeked of it and that's probably what had drawn these here in the first place.

"Why does Ginny know that?" Sirius muttered in surprise, she wouldn't have had this lesson yet.

"Luna clearly knows a lot about them, maybe she's had a chat with Hagrid about them and told Ginny about them," James forced himself to look Sirius in the face as the two sat around and just discussed something for a moment, even though both faces were more sickly pale than any full moon had ever done to them. They should have had the most practice worrying about their friends, and yet nothing could prepare them for what this all felt like.

Harry tried to seize the idea he and Ron would go ahead then, and Hermione could stay back to attract more- but Hermione protested this at once, and Luna said it wasn't necessary as she spotted six more arriving, noting they must really stink.

"No more picking on her either Moony, I like her," Sirius muttered, an actual smile trying to twist away his grimace for his situation for the girls bluntness.

"Well that seems to leave only you, I'm sure I'll have plenty more to complain of," Remus huffed.

Harry snapped fine, time to get on then.

Remus gave a tense sigh, somehow his hands fisting harder than ever as he eyed Lily who was now watching him expectantly. Another one down, and it hadn't happened yet. Maybe, if they just kept getting through more of these, it wouldn't at all...

HPHPHPHP

*No one should deny movie Harry's zinger really was brilliant and I regret nothing putting it in here.

[gameofdrarry]

Wizards Hearts Recs: Odd Jobs

Wizards Hearts was a four-month-long Drarry reading fest. Players were given a playing deck of 52 tropes, and were asked to find 52 different fics to read and comment on to fill their decks. To prevent the same few fics from being read, fics were restricted to only being used for the game three times before being considered ineligible for further points. The tropes and submissions list can be found here.

Check out the masterlist of fics for this trope below the cut!

📜 Azoth by zeitgeistic Rated:  Explicit Words:  88,722 Tags:  Eighth Year, Alchemy, Animagus, Snark, Banter, Pining, Graphic Sex Summary:  Now that Harry is back at Hogwarts with Hermione for eighth year, he realises that something’s missing from his life, and it either has to do with Ron, his boggart, Snape, or Malfoy. Furthermore, what, exactly, does it mean when one’s life is defined by the desire to simultaneously impress and annoy a portrait? Harry has no idea; he’s too busy trying not to be in love with Malfoy to care. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 On Your Shore by xanthippe74 Rated:  Mature Words:  35113 Tags: Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Post-Hogwarts, Mystery, Scotland, Dark Magic, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Pining, Sharing a Bed, First Time, Non-Explicit Sex, Demisexual Harry Potter, Bisexual Harry Potter, Gay Draco Malfoy, Closeted Draco Malfoy, Curse Breaker Harry Potter, Antiques Appraiser Draco Malfoy, Redeemed Draco Malfoy, Good Parent Draco Malfoy, Past Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley, Married Astoria Greengrass/Draco Malfoy, H/D Sex Fair 2020 Summary:  Clearing out a remote house full of cursed collectibles in the Outer Hebrides? Not a problem for an experienced curse breaker like Harry Potter. Spending a week with the straight, happily-married man that he’s starting to have feelings for? And sharing a bed with him at night? Surely Harry can handle that, too. But both the house and Draco Malfoy have secrets to uncover, and Harry might be in deeper water than he thought. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Of Matchmaking Owls & Second Chances by xErised Rated:  Teen and Up Words:  11219 Tags: Owls, Paris (City), Dancing in the Rain, Humor, Mutual Pining, Getting Together, Post-Hogwarts, H/D Career Fair 2017, Rekindled Relationships, Adorable Summary:  It's just Draco's luck to own an owl that's in love with Potter's owl treats. When Potter invites Draco's owl to be a taste-tester, Draco accepts. For the sake of his beloved owl, of course, not to rekindle that spark of attraction during their eighth year. Or because of how bloody fit Potter is. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Aural Gratification by author Rated:  Explicit Words:  10988 Tags: Aural Kink, Masturbation, Closet Sex, Coming Out, Dildos, Humor, Smut Summary:  Harry's not gay – he just likes listening to exciting stories about Aurors. It's not his fault that the narrator's voice is so smooth, so expressive... and really rather hot. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Draco Malfoy: Toilet Supremo by who_la_hoop Rated:  Teen and Up Words:  26189 Tags: Romance, Humor, flangst, HP: EWE, Career: toilet salesman Summary:  It must be a vision brought on by eating cheese sarnies too close to bedtime, Harry thinks. There's no way that Draco Malfoy can really be standing on his doorstep, calling himself a Toilet Supremo, and expecting Harry to buy not only this unlikeliest of scenarios, but also a new loo. But no: Harry's eyes do not deceive him. Malfoy, Lord of Toilets, is really there. Which begs a very important question: what the hell is he up to, and what evil scheme is he about to unleash? Because there must be an evil scheme . . . mustn't there? ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 When Hippogriffs and Pygmy Puffs Collide by oldenuf2nb Rated:  Mature Words:  32755 Tags: Playboy Harry Potter, Tattoo Artist Draco Malfoy, Baker Harry Potter, Divorced Harry Potter & Ginny Weasley, Divorced Astoria Greengrass & Draco Malfoy, Bisexual Harry Potter, Magical Tattoos, Hand Jobs Summary:  Harry Potter bakes cakes, brilliantly. Draco Malfoy inks tattoos, brilliantly. Owls deliver post, including messages from clients, with an occasional lack of brilliance. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 It's Not Like Christmas At All by ProfessorDrarry Rated:  Mature Words:  29411 Tags: Christmas Fluff, Advent Calendar, Christmas Eve, New Year's Eve, Past Relationship(s), Mentions of Past Homelessness, References to Illness, estranged family, Poverty, POV Alternating, happy ending guaranteed Summary:  Draco knew his life wouldn't have been appealing in the eyes of his past-self; Muggle job that would make his parents shudder. Muggle flat with an inconvenient living situation. Muggle hairdresser and coffee shop and charity work. But it was perfect. Well. Almost perfect. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 (We'll Call This Fixer-Upper) Home by phdmama Rated:  Explicit Words:  52520 Tags: Rock Star Draco Malfoy, Artist Harry Potter, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Post Traumatic Growth, mental health, Original Character(s), Original Character Death(s), (all those are in the past), Recreational Drug Use, Anal Sex, Oral Sex, Hooking up, Dating, Semi-Public Sex, Growth and Healing, Mention of Suicidal Ideation, Getting Together, Boys Kissing, Falling In Love Summary:  Draco Malfoy hasn’t set foot on English soil in ten years. After the war, he fled to America, where he found himself in a community, and healed himself through following his heart into music. He’s now the lead singer and songwriter for an internationally known band, who have come back to headline the Wiltshire Music Festival. But as Draco is about to learn, his past isn’t as far away as he might have believed, and his future may hold more than he ever could have dreamed. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 All Roads by korlaena, Saulaie Rated:  Mature Words:  36636 Tags: Minor Luna Lovegood/Ginny Weasley, Journalist Draco Malfoy, Animagus Draco Malfoy, Magizoologist Harry Potter, Desi Harry Potter, Bearded Harry Potter, Background Femslash, Horseback Riding, Italy, Cabins, Mountains, Walks In The Woods, Drinking, Hangover, Masturbation, Implied/Referenced Blow Jobs, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Self-Hatred, Lucius Malfoy Being an Asshole, Friends to Lovers, Angst with a Happy Ending Summary:  Draco hates his job at the Prophet. He hates it even more when he’s assigned to write an article on Harry Potter, who left the country three years ago after their falling out. Draco doesn’t want to face the truth about himself, but he’s stuck between Harry and his duty, and he’s out of options. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 kiss me in the doorway by primaveracerezos Rated:  Explicit Words:  7787 Tags: Getting Together, Post-War, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Fluff Summary:  "At Draco’s trial, Potter testified that Draco had acted only in fear of his life, for his parents’ lives. When the Wizengamot announced his pardon, hundreds of eyes were on him, but he only felt one gaze. He found Potter’s green eyes in the crowd, where he was insulated by layers of loyal friends. The expression on Potter’s face was painfully open, studying, curious. Draco returned it. He had questions too." ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Quibbler Unsolved by leontina (Leontina) Rated:  Teen and Up Words:  17377 Tags: Post-Hogwarts, Post-Second War with Voldemort, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Minor Luna Lovegood/Dudley Dursley, Minor Astoria Greengrass/Pansy Parkinson, Buzzfeed Unsolved References, Alternate Universe - Buzzfeed Unsolved Fusion, Smitten Draco Malfoy, Oblivious Harry Potter, Oblivious Draco Malfoy, Matchmaking, World Travel, Redeemed Dudley Dursley, Explicit Language, Light Angst, Drinking, Getting Fired, Eviction, Masturbation, POV Draco Malfoy, Down and Out Draco Malfoy, Journalist Draco, Journalist Harry, The Quibbler, Sharing a Bed, Goats, The X-Files References, Ouija, Implied Sexual Content, Implied Switching, H/D Erised 2019 Summary:  Draco is down on his luck without a home or a job, and so he has no choice but to accept an offer to work at The Quibbler. He just didn’t expect to be searching for make-believe creatures in the Muggle world with Harry Potter. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Come A Little Closer by maraudersaffair Rated:  Explicit Words:  37787 Tags: First Time, Pining, Coming Out, slight angst, redeemed!Draco, gay!draco, unusual careers, Grimmauld Place, magical museums, Kayaking, Draco in the Muggle World, Snogging, Frottage, Oral Sex, Anal Sex, Homophobic Language, Internalized Homophobia, Drinking, Injury, Dirty Talk, Kid Fic, Sex Toys, Bisexual Harry Potter, Gay Draco Malfoy, Kings Cross, Virginity Summary:  A few years after the war, Draco Malfoy works the service desk at King’s Cross and does his best to avoid his parents. He is also desperate to lose his virginity. Enter Harry Potter. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 The Critiquer by dysonrules Rated:  Explicit Words:  24260 Tags: Humor, Romance, HP: EWE, Post-Hogwarts, Photography, Secret Identity Summary:  When Harry submits his cock photo to a renowned Cock Critiquer and gets a terrible review, he decides to take a photography class to hopefully improve his skills. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Pathless Woods by onereader Rated:  Explicit Words:  30267 Tags: Wandmaker Harry Potter, Wand Wood Grower Draco Malfoy, POV Harry Potter, Found Family, Violet Wand, Magical Theory, Redeemed Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Slow Build Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Happy Ending, Dating, Puns & Word Play, Wandlore (Harry Potter), H/D Fan Fair 2019, Secondary Theme: Pottermore Fair, Handsome Draco Malfoy Summary:  “There is a pleasure in the pathless woods” Lord Byron. Harry finds himself unexpectedly reacquainted with Draco Malfoy when his work as an apprentice wandmaker takes him to Wiltshire. Amongst the trees Harry finds magic, growth, and a man who might finally be proving he’s worthy of the wand that chose him. Hawthorn, Unicorn hair, 10 inches, reasonably pliant. A story of found family, trees with feelings, belief in the power of growth, wandlore, and gratuitous description of Handsome Estate Owner™ Draco Malfoy swanning around in white shirts and leather boots. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Leaky Sinks and Proffered Services by parseltonquinq Rated:  Explicit Words:  4129 Tags: Top Harry, Bottom Draco, repairman!harry, draco needs to get a grip, harry needs to buy another shirt, i need to get some sleep Summary:  "It had only been a week and a half since Harry had fixed the bathroom sink. Draco knew he had a problem. The sink hadn’t even been broken. The thing was, he couldn’t stop thinking about Harry’s eyes or that smile or the way he filled out that plain white t-shirt. It was almost obsessive. So he did what any sane man would do and loosened some of the compression nuts with a wrench (he’d had to watch a couple of videos to learn how). He then proceeded to check out Harry’s ass while he worked, his mouth dry and his conscience taking the day off. " Draco breaks things. Harry is a hot repairman. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Scurrilous by Saras_Girl Rated:  Teen and Up Words:  25142 Tags: N/A Summary:  When Potter starts behaving more oddly than usual, Draco has no choice but to take an interest. After all, it’s his job. Sort of. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Walk in the sun by FreddieFoxBaxter Rated:  Explicit Words:  18239 Tags: Getting Together, Smut, Only One Bed, One Shot, Awkward Flirting, Drunken Confessions, Social Anxiety, Nude Photos, Dating, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Harry Potter is Obsessed with Draco Malfoy, Top Draco Malfoy, Bottom Harry Potter, Harry Potter in Panties, Model Draco Malfoy, Minor Neville Longbottom/Blaise Zabini, Minor Pansy Parkinson/Ginny Weasley, Minor Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Draco Malfoy in the Muggle World, H/D Sex Fair 2020 Summary:  Harry is perfectly content with the life he built for himself; simple and private, it helps him heal the wounds from the war. He then accepts to go out with one of Neville’s acquaintances, never expecting that decision would bring him back to his obsession for Draco Malfoy. “That was his cue. Had Harry stopped to think about his situation, he could have left. Malfoy was nibbling at his neck, he had his hand down his pants. All things considered, a disaster incoming. And yet, his feet still refused to move. After all, he was not the stop-to-think-of-consequences kind of guy.” ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Salty Sweet by Aelys_Althea Rated:  Mature Words:  59795 Tags: Post-War, Not Epilogue Compliant, Baking, Pâtisserie, Sugar and Salt, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Apprenticeship, Bake-Off, Competition, change, Master and Apprentice, Character Development, French Influences, Muggles and Magic, Harry Potter Leaves the Wizarding World, Isolation, Patronus, Finding Peace, glamours, Workplace Relationship, Apprentice Harry Potter, Pastry Chef Draco Malfoy, H/D Career Fair 2017 Summary:  Draco was a Master. He'd always been one, but having a town of Muggles consider him as close to God's gift as they would ever receive was certainly validating. Except it wasn't enough. After years of settling, of conjuring masterpieces with his fingers and his prowess, Draco realised he needed a change. How hard could it be to find an apprentice pâtissier that did what they were told? As it happened, doing 'what was told' was about the last thing on his inevitable prospect's mind. Trust Harry Potter to be the one to turn Draco's life upside down. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 The Printed Press by Soupy George Rated:  Mature Words:  124993 Tags: Language, Themes, Sexual Content Summary:  Draco Malfoy was still slightly awed to be standing on the doorstep of Number Twelve Grimmauld Place. He never would have thought that Harry Potter's very public and very ... sweary, emotional explosion would have led to him offering Draco, of all people, a job. ❤️ Read on FFN

📜 you made your mark on me (a golden tattoo) by tigerlilycorinne Rated:  Teen and Up Words:  6078 Tags: Fluff, Post-War, Post-Hogwarts, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Tattoo Parlor, Pining Draco, Tattoo artist Harry, Draco Malfoy in the Muggle World, sorta - Freeform, Getting Together, Sort-of Confessions, Kind Harry Potter, Humor Summary:  Draco wants to get a tattoo, but he can hardly do that when it turns out the artist of the shop he chooses is none other than Harry Potter. Draco would much rather leave, really, he would, because the last thing he needs is to be anywhere near Potter and his wild hair and green eyes, his shoulders and that bloody voice… what was he saying? Oh yes– Harry Potter is the last person he wants to be around. But it’s kinda hard to leave when he’s being so bloody distracting… ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 the potential of broken things by icarusinflight Rated:  Explicit Words:  10727 Tags: Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Post-Hogwarts, Auror Harry Potter, Ex-Auror Draco Malfoy, Bisexual Harry Potter, Drinking, Kneazles (Harry Potter), Explicit Sexual Content, Intercrural Sex, H/D Erised 2020 Summary:  "Can you feel that? Some things want to be what they once were. The original spell is still there, and it wants to work again. All it takes is a little push and then"—Draco clicks his fingers of his free hand—"snap, everything will go back into place." Harry's feeling lost, but he finds Draco in a shop full of (not broken, just waiting to be repaired) items. He stays a while. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Touch by bixgirl1 Rated:  Explicit Words:  44791 Tags: Flirting, Friends to Lovers, Oral Sex, Anal Sex, Rimming, Switching, H/D Career Fair 2017, Sharing a Bed, Post-Hogwarts, Humor, Hallucinations, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sleep Deprivation, Falling In Love, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Cuddling & Snuggling, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Resolved Sexual Tension Summary:  When Harry is referred to a professional cuddler for the soothing power of touch, he’s dubious — even more so when the Cuddler who shows up turns out to be Malfoy. But in the years since the war, Malfoy’s changed, and over the next several days Harry is confronted by how much he still doesn’t know about this new version of his old enemy — and by how much he wants to learn. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Special Delivery (previously Amende Honorable) by alittlebitAlexie Rated:  Mature Words:  11628 Tags: Post-Second War with Voldemort, Apologies, Misunderstandings, Accidents, Owl Post (Harry Potter), Bartender Draco Malfoy, Bartender Pansy Parkinson, Draco Malfoy & Pansy Parkinson Friendship, POV Draco Malfoy, Unrequited Crush, Diagon Alley, Death Eater Trials mentioned, Letters, Love Letters, Gay Draco Malfoy, Flatmates Draco and Pansy, panic attack (mentioned), Nightclub, Confrontations, Running Away, Outing, Veritaserum, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Kissing, Snogging, Undressing, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Secret Crush, Not Beta Read, Not Canon Compliant Summary:  After his trial, Draco writes apology letters to everyone he has hurt. Not so special. But he writes two to Harry. One to actually send, and one (that was never meant to see the light of day) to pour his heart out and admit things like thinking Harry has a fit arse and was his sexual awakening. What could go wrong? Well, Pansy could accidentally mail the wrong letter. That's what. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Sunseeker by shiftylinguini Rated:  Explicit Words:  15199 Tags: Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Post-Hogwarts, Writer Harry Potter, Single Parent Draco Malfoy, Magical House Fixer-Upper Draco, Texting, Friends to Lovers, Banter, Past Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley, Divorced Astoria Greengrass & Draco Malfoy, Muggle Technology, Flirting, Long-Distance Relationship, Getting Together, Crushes, Pining, Drinking, Drunk Texting, Frottage, Grinding, First Time, Humor, H/D Erised 2020 Summary:  Harry is a struggling writer. Namely, he is struggling with: writing his next book, dealing with his agent, finding a decent tea strainer, fielding his friend's concern over the aforementioned book, and figuring out who the cat loitering in his garden belongs to. He also has a slight liking-Malfoy problem. Okay, he has a massive liking-Malfoy problem. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Charmed Confections by Alisanne Rated:  Explicit Words:  35967 Tags: Anal Sex, Oral Sex, Light Bondage, flangst, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Mild Angst, Character death (offscreen not Harry or Draco), Community: hd_erised Summary:  There’s a new bakery in town, and Harry is obsessed with the luscious lemon fairy cakes. And with discovering the identity of the mystery chef. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Open Up, Potter by heyitsamorette (AmoretteHD) Rated:  Explicit Words:  3276 Tags: odd jobs, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, Blow Jobs, Dirty Talk, Bisexuality Summary:  Harry has never had gay sex; not surprising when he’s only recently admitted that he likes blokes. But he has to start somewhere, and Malfoy is more than happy to help. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 I bloom (just for you) by Ladderofyears Rated:  Teen and Up Words:  3910 Tags: Alternate Universe - Flower Shop, Enchanted Flower Business, Amortentia, Flower Shop Owner Harry Potter, Professor of Viking Magic Draco Malfoy, Misunderstandings, Oblivious Harry, Generous Draco, Falling In Love, Wealthy Draco, No Magical Florists Hurt In The Writing Of This Fic, Promise Summary:  Harry Potter is the proud new owner of Potter’s Blooms and Bouquets, the very first enchanted flower business on Diagon Alley. Harry has been tasked with designing and making the bouquets for the upcoming wedding of Draco Malfoy and his mysterious fiancée. There is one small problem though: Harry finds himself falling deeply in love with Draco himself. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Pensées d'Attirance by orpheous87 Rated:  General Words:  2256 Tags: Getting Together, Pre-Slash, Pre-Relationship, Alternate Universe - Flower Shop, Fluff, Oblivious Harry Summary:  Draco is working in his mother's flower shop when Harry wanders in searching for a plant for his office. ❤️ Read on AO3

[chuchiotaku]

Ok, first of all

HOW DARE YOU MAKING ME THINK I HAD TO WAIT UNTIL JANUARY FOR THE NEW CHAPTER!? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA OF THE HEART ATTACK I HAD THIS MORNING WHEN I SAW THE UPDATE!?!?

Ok, now that, ehm... I'm calmed down, let me gush on your art piece once again.

I loved everything. I said last time that I wanted some shocking dose of angst, but I didn't knew how heart clenching would have been seeing Ron saying goodbye to... his friends, again, and for the last time. How many things not said, how many plans that will never see the light, how many... apologies, never to be make...

I'm happy that the mirror made him see (and hear) what his loved one truly thought of him, but I'm still bitter for the fact that he had to DIE before he actually got some vocal recognition.

But moving on from depressing topics, I loved seeing the sibling so tight with each other and Harry! I felt almost as if you anticipated Harry's second year summer, and now they get to see Sirius too? Original Harry would be terribly proud of his Ron and terribly jealous of that little Harry...

I really liked Pettigrew's breakdown at the end of the process. And I loved (and hated too, of course) his threats: making 'regret to be born' the same guy that fought and gained the upper hand on Bellatrix? Twice!? Ok buddy, whatever makes you feel better... But if in order to hurt Ron you target one of his brothers or Ginny... well, it has never been a pleasure meet you.

And it's also good seeing Pandora alive! Another Truespartan's Fateverse character added in the rooster, I can't wait to see her in action!

And at least this time Albus is actually ackwnoledging Ron, wonder if he's already planning a role for him in his chessplay againts Tom. I hope he will grow to love him as he'll love Harry.

And I know tastes are subjective but... I think the anon was just short sighted, Ron is totally the person that for his loved ones is ready to move mountains and seas (Buckbeak's trial proved it. How he started searching for past trials in his free time is proof how much is ready to invest himself if it means to help his friend) and I don't expect that everything is going to be all fine and dandy the whole time. Peter's threats scream 'FORESHADOWING' for an ipotetical plot in the third year (way less traumatazing regarding what happened with him in Fate... brrr). Ron is just... trying to sow the best he can, and only at the reaping time we'll see what he did right or wrong.

Keep it going! You are an increadible writer! See you next time, and happy new year!

(And give me some Daphne showtime damn it!!)

First off, anon, happy New Year! 🎉🎉🎉

Ahaha, sorry about the mini-heart attack.  I was aiming to post chapters 14 and 15 relatively close together because they’re initially planned to be one chapter but I hit some snags so yeah, chapter 15 got delayed.  But at least it’s up now, right?  :)

[Warning: Long response ahead. ]

I said last time that I wanted some shocking dose of angst, but I didn't knew how heart clenching would have been seeing Ron saying goodbye to... his friends, again, and for the last time. 

That part at the mirror was very relatable, I think.  There are things we will always want, but deep down, we know they can never be.  In order for Ron to move forward, he had to acknowledge that and let go, something he learned he had to do after that Owlery scene with Harry.  

Not that he entirely has, mind you.  But it’s a good step forward.

I'm happy that the mirror made him see (and hear) what his loved one truly thought of him

It’s a comforting interpretation, but I feel the need to remind my readers that the Mirror of Erised shows only the deepest desires of its viewer. The scene where the new life versions of Ron’s loved ones take over the older ones, telling Ron that they accept and love him, is Ron’s true deepest desire now that he time travelled. Not that it is what’s real.  That’s why Ron broke down, because he knows deep down it’s just a fantasy.  Weell, we know that’s not entirely true, but to him it is.  

(The Deluminator souvenir from Death and its visions, on the other hand...)

but I'm still bitter for the fact that he had to DIE before he actually got some vocal recognition.

You know what they say: you don’t know what you have until it’s gone.  :shrugs: Honestly, Ron is such a taken-for-granted character both in the books and in the fandom, it’s so frustrating...

Anyway, getting off the angst train!

I loved seeing the sibling so tight with each other and Harry! I felt almost as if you anticipated Harry's second year summer, and now they get to see Sirius too? 

I wanted to show the tight knit Weasley dynamic JK claims they have but never really showed because we are limited to Harry’s narrative (which is understandable).  And as what I have planned for second year summer: safe to say, it will start off like what happened in the books before it veers off canon course.  Because Sirius and Remus are there, and Ron knows it. :)

Original Harry would be terribly proud of his Ron and terribly jealous of that little Harry... 

But of course!  I’d like to think that Ron is one of the, if not THE, characters in his age group that Harry holds such high regard for.  

And who’s to say jealous Harry won’t make an appearance? When Ron’s making more friends outside the Gryffindor house, and a certain someone may get close enough to threaten the best friend position?  😉😉😉

I really liked Pettigrew's breakdown at the end of the process. And I loved (and hated too, of course) his threats: making 'regret to be born' the same guy that fought and gained the upper hand on Bellatrix? Twice!? Ok buddy, whatever makes you feel better... 

Pettigrew doesn’t know who he’s messing with, but Ron too is underestimating the rat a little too much.  Good thing that won’t cause him any problems in the future. 😒

But if in order to hurt Ron you target one of his brothers or Ginny... well, it has never been a pleasure meet you. 

Now that would make Pettigrew wish he was never born.  Haha!

And it's also good seeing Pandora alive! Another Truespartan's Fateverse character added in the rooster, I can't wait to see her in action!

Pandora is Luna’s mother’s canon name, but yes I did get the inspiration from Fate, as well as The Red Knight.  But she won’t be around until Book 2.  Don’t worry, it will come.  I hope.  :sweatdrop:

And at least this time Albus is actually ackwnoledging Ron, wonder if he's already planning a role for him in his chessplay againts Tom. 

Of course Albus will notice a smart and wise beyond his years eleven year old who became best friends with Harry Potter, managed to take on a troll then get involved in the reveal and arrest of a mass murderer who may have something more in common with him than he originally thought (coughmirroroferisedcough).  How Ron will benefit from this attention (if he ever will) or how he’ll deal with this new complication will be part of the story’s fun.  And we’re just getting started.

I hope he will grow to love him as he'll love Harry.

I think many can already tell where I’m planning to go with Albus and Ron’s relationship.  The specifics, however, are the ones I can leave you guys guessing.  It will be good!  Hopefully! 🤞

And I know tastes are subjective but... I think the anon was just short sighted, Ron is totally the person that for his loved ones is ready to move mountains and seas (Buckbeak's trial proved it. How he started searching for past trials in his free time is proof how much is ready to invest himself if it means to help his friend)

I saw it as Guest being too fixated at what happened in the books that they didn’t take into account that the second I changed something in the fic, the butterfly effect is bound to occur.  In fact, Ron’s very presence in a world that isn’t what he left behind is already creating many ripples.  I honestly also saw it as them underestimating Ron a bit.  He’s a typical boy during most of the books: lazy with his studies because he is unmotivated.  Give him purpose and you’ll get to see him really shine, exactly like what you said about the Buckbeak thing.

It’s canon that Ron is smarter than he appears.  I mean, can a normal eleven year old remember the exact names of the laws on dragons, even if their brother is a dragon tamer?  

(It’s also another good basis on how much Ron admires Charlie that he can remember that much! Sorry, Solstice Muse turned me into a Charlie/Ron bro fluff fangirl after Ickle Ronniekins)

I don't expect that everything is going to be all fine and dandy the whole time. Peter's threats scream 'FORESHADOWING' for an ipotetical plot in the third year (way less traumatazing regarding what happened with him in Fate... brrr). 

Fate is a very heavy read, combining some of my favorite Ron-centric tropes while taking their fic to a newer, darker spin.  Truespartan has done a wonderful with it so far (I haven’t finished it yet,).  But as most of you can already tell, my story will be fart different from theirs.

That doesn’t mean there won’t be some dark moments in TBA.  And I’m so thrilled that you got the idea behind Pettigrew’s threats.  They ARE foreshadowing what is to come starting Year 3.  But what exactly?  Care to take a guess?  

Ron is just... trying to sow the best he can, and only at the reaping time we'll see what he did right or wrong.

Very true.  Although to me, it’s not a matter of whether it’s just “right or wrong”, and more of “can Ron deal with the consequences of the changes he made, and whether those consequences are worth the changes?”

Example: from a strictly moral standpoint, revealing Pettigrew and clearing Sirius’ name is the best good and what Ron should do from that thematic perspective.  However, these actions will cause some events to change from what he knew, and even cause entirely new ones (i.e. the plot of Year 3).  Is it worth the possibility of rendering Ron’s future knowledge almost useless?  Who knows? 

Keep it going! You are an increadible writer! See you next time, and happy new year!

Thank you so much for your kind words!  You guys are the reason TBA is still running even after all these years and me taking long breaks.  I hope to finish TBA Year 1 within 2021 so please be patient with me.  I’ll do my best!

(And give me some Daphne showtime damn it!!)

Oh, trust me, I have big plans for Daphne and Astoria.  Might get flak for it in the future, but for this, I’ll have to stick with my guns.  Oh dear...

💖 Happy New Year to you too, anon! And thanks for the ask. 💖

[krashlynandthekids]

USWNT stars Ashlyn Harris, Ali Krieger grateful for chance to inspire others

The couple speak out about their coming out journey, facing bullying and learning to be role models for the LGBT community.

by Julia Poe, Pro Soccer USA

Jan 11, 2020

“To all the fans — you’re welcome,” Orlando Pride and U.S. women’s national team defender Ali Krieger said with a laugh.

It’s been two weeks since Krieger married teammate Ashlyn Harris in a Miami event warmly heralded as the “Royal Wedding” by their family and fans alike. Already, they’re back to business, trading a honeymoon for two-a-days at the national team’s camp in Tampa.

Life doesn’t feel too different for the couple, Harris said. They first met at a national team camp and have played on the same team for years. At this point, almost a decade into their relationship, they see their relationship as a constant.

But in the last year, plenty has changed around them — a World Cup victory, a surging women’s equality movement, a wedding that made the pages of Vogue.

For the couple and their teammates, there hasn’t been much time to stop and take it all in. The World Cup high wore off two months after the win, Harris said, and she and Krieger are focused on the future — Olympic qualifiers in February and the upcoming NWSL season with the Pride.

But two weeks ago, their wedding served as a pause, a time to celebrate what they’ve become after 10 years of coming out together — authentic, honest and, most important, happy.

“I think for so long we were so worried about all the consequences and it took a lot of energy from us,” Harris said. “I think for so long, I had to make sure I was professional and this and that. I just felt I wasn’t doing myself justice or my relationship justice by hiding. It feels freeing and liberating just to be able to show up and truly be yourself. I feel like I finally can give my staff and my coaches and the players next to me all of me and not just a part of me.”

When Krieger and Harris tied the knot, they shared the moment not just with their family and friends, but with the LGBT community as a whole. The couple released an 18-minute video of the day and plentiful Instagram posts that dominated social media for days afterward.

For Krieger, openly sharing her relationship wasn’t always natural. Looking back, she’s not even sure she could have envisioned her current self — happily married and playing on the same team as her wife — a few years ago.

But even in the smallest ways — the wedding band glistening on her hand, the rainbow strap fastened to her Apple watch — Krieger is learning to embrace the impact of her vulnerability.

Even when they number in the thousands, Krieger reads the Instagram comments and tweets from fans. In the weeks following their wedding, she said that she received a surprising amount of comments and messages from older LGBT fans — people in their 40s and 50s who said that the wedding made them finally feel they could accept themselves.

That ability to impact is shifting the way that Krieger views herself.

“I really have opened myself up more,” Krieger said. “I feel more vulnerable than I used to — in a good way. I’m more of a private person. I like to keep a few things to myself and I like to share that just with Ash and our family at home. I’m surprised at how vulnerable I’ve become, but I think it’s healthy because people can relate more to you that way. I feel like I’m becoming my more true self.”

Coming out hasn’t come without its risks. Despite the widespread support of their identities and relationship, both Harris and Krieger have faced backlash, especially on social media.

For years, Krieger has weathered cyberbullying and homophobic abuse online. She tries to ignore it, but she admits that it affected her, shaking her confidence.

As she enters a new year, she’s hoping to use that experience to create outlets to support LGBT youth who suffer from bullying themselves.

“It’s been continuous in the past five years,” Krieger said. “There’s people online that say some pretty negative things, but I know they’re really going through something, and some of them just might be sick. I feel sorry for them and I hope they can get the help that they need. Hopefully I can help speak up for others and for younger kids who are getting bullied just as bad, if not worse, in person and online. I hope that through me experiencing this, I can help in that way.”

The challenge now for Krieger and Harris is continuing to learn how to navigate their roles as LGBT role models. For anyone who identifies as LGBT, coming out isn’t a one-time occurrence. Each morning, an LGBT person must choose to live out and proud. Every day is an act of coming out.

For LGBT celebrities, this is even more complicated. Each piece of their public lives can have an impact on a vulnerable community. Each time Krieger and Harris chose to share a part of their identity, it provided strength and hope to a community that has craved representation for most of its existence.

Krieger and Harris said they try to be precise and thoughtful about their public presence, knowing their affection has a resounding ripple effect. Their wedding reflected that vision, becoming a celebration of the LGBT community as well as a celebration of their relationship.

Their cake cut open to reveal eight layers of rainbow; their tables were named for LGBT pioneers such as Marsha P. Johnson. Even when it came to selecting Harris’ suit — created by Thom Browne, a gay designer who specializes in gender non-conforming styles — every aspect of the wedding celebrated and uplifted the LGBT community.

For Harris and Krieger, this ability to openly support their community is as important as anything they accomplish on the field.

“You don’t know that you have that much of an impact on someone’s life,” Krieger said. “It makes me kind of emotional because I’m just being myself and I’m trying to just live and figure out this life of ours. I never felt that we were going to be those people that would have this platform, but I’m so grateful that we are those people now. We can show people that we can have an incredible love story as well and that we deserve that and that there are happy endings.”

https://www.prosoccerusa.com/author/juliapoe/

[class-wom]

[This story contains spoilers for the series finale of FX's Legion.]

Noah Hawley's Legion is officially over, and the FX superhero series (which is based on the Marvel Comics X-Men character of the same name) ended in the most Legion way possible: not with a knock-down drag-out battle, but with music, beers, intellectual and emotional discourse, and more than a few changed hearts and minds — not to mention a changed timeline.

Entering the Legion series finale, the stakes were high: David Haller (Dan Stevens) stood at the precipice of changing the past and therefore preventing his own monstrous future. Of course, his ambitions involved some truly monstrous means, including outright killing the Shadow King Amahl Farouk (Navid Negahban), twice over, with an assist from his all-powerful (and world-famous) father Charles Xavier (Harry Lloyd). But instead of slugging it out on the astral plane, Xavier chugs beers with the Farouk who spent decades inhabiting David's body. Given that experience, Farouk is fully aware of the damage done by his time with David, and he genuinely wants to stop it from ever happening.

For his part, David spends most of the finale beating up on the young version of Farouk and subsequently singing Pink Floyd's "Mother" opposite his actual mother Gabrielle (Stephanie Corneliussen). When it comes to actually changing his own future for the better, however, David does very little. Instead, he allows his father to step in and broker a peace deal to change the future with his once sworn enemy. The Shadow King convinces his younger self to avoid battling Xavier, therefore preventing the ensuing decades of pain and suffering for so many people, not the least of whom is David. In the final scene, David and ex-girlfriend Syd Barrett (Rachel Keller) both fade away from existence, as the infant version of David earns a new shot at a better life.

It's a fairly peaceful ending for Legion, which reliably zigs where most series would zag. (See: the final season's sixth episode, which contains a rap battle between two opponents where a fist fight would have normally done the trick.) It's little wonder Hawley's finale didn't break from the series' own past, even as it paved the way for altered futures for surviving cast members such as the Loudermilk siblings Cary (Bill Irwin) and Kerry (Amber Midthunder). Ahead, The Hollywood Reporter speaks about the Legion series finale with Hawley, who ends his Marvel drama with mere months left before FX's Fargo begins production on a fourth season.

How much does the Legion finale fit your original vision of the series' eventual ending?

On a literal basis, the Switch (Lauren Tsai) character didn't really come into being until we sat down to talk about season three, so, a lot of it [changed]. The emphasis on time, and of course time being what gives stories meaning and what gives people regrets, all of that was discovered along the way. But the idea that the story of David and Syd would reach this point, and that David would be on this precipice of is he going to be good or is he going to be bad, and that would have to resolve itself — I think that that was always there in the makeup of it. And obviously the conversation that started about Charles and Gabrielle, and about his parents, and about childhood and raising kids and all that, I think that was really unraveled as I went through, as I realized while I was writing it what the story was really about.

With the finale now out in the wild, what can you say about what you imagined for the totality of Legion, now that you can speak freely about the ending?

I think the original idea was let's take the genre out of it and think about it as a story. And if it works as a great drama, then when you add the genre back into it, it'll only be more exciting because you'll be able to play with all those tools that you don't have in a traditional dramatic story. And as I explored it in those opening weeks of figuring out what the show wanted to be, I was very adamant that if we were going to tell a mental illness story, we were going to tell it. We weren't going to use it as a launching pad into like, "Oh, he's not crazy. It's a superhero show." But the layers of that are what was really interesting. David says it at the end of the first season. He tells Syd that the most dangerous thing about having a mental illness is that your mental illness convinces you that you don't have it, and that if you relax, and you accept it, and you go, "I have these abilities, and this girl loves me, and everything's great," how do you know that that's not just because you've gone off your meds, and you're feeling great about things? It's the insidious nature of the disease: it convinces you you don't have it.

But again, he did accept that he didn't have it, and then, of course, was confronted with the fact that in the end of season two, he both had these abilities and there was something profoundly disturbed about him, and yet he couldn't really face that head on. And so season three became this narcissistic battle against reality for David saying, "No, no, this is my time. These time eaters who are coming to destroy the universe, they can't come because this is my time." The level of "I'm the most important being in the universe" was ... I mean his mother says "If you can go back in time, then stop the Holocaust." And he was like, "No, I was talking about me." It shows you the kind of self involvement that he was working under. The question [from there] becomes, A, how do you keep the audience from turning on him so much that they now are hate-watching the show, and they don't want any kind of resolution for him that's positive; and, B, how do you get any kind of resolution for him that is positive, but not just for him, for everybody?

Where do you feel we land on David in the end, after he gets the reset and gets to live his life again starting as a baby?

We live in a world where this nature versus nurture question is yet to be resolved. And it's probably both. But my sense of the timeline is that Xavier and Gabrielle are going to remember what happened, and so they'll be able to raise David quite deliberately knowing the path that he ended up on, and wanting to avoid that for him. And that may involve for his mother getting some help for herself in order to be a better role model for him, et cetera. So the great thing about it ending on that kind of loop is that [idea of] "press the button and watch again, maybe something different will happen."

There's a powerful moment when Charles tells David: "I wasn't here for you before, let me be your father now." What does that say about the themes and importance of parenting in this story?

Parenting is such a critical part of who people turn out to be and that so much of the damage of not just David but Syd and some of the other characters can be traced directly back to how they grew up, and the fact that so many of them were ostracized or treated as different. It was really rewarding for me in that sixth hour to be able to explore in a sort of allegorical fairy tale way this idea of a second childhood for Syd, and [explore the idea of] what if you grew up differently? What if you grew up with parents who really taught you the right things at the right time, and they taught you what was healthy and what wasn't healthy, and how to make good choices, and who you could help and who you can't help? And all those things that we all struggle with, then hopefully we would grow up and be people who make better choices. I think to see that allegory in this story allows one to look at the end of the story and go, "Well, maybe next time it'll be more like that."

We know David will get a more attentive second chance, but what about the rest? Syd? The Loudermilks? Are Melanie (Jean Smart) and Oliver (Jemaine Clement) still on the Astral Plane together? How much changes based on David's reset?

There's definitely a rabbit hole you can go down, looking at the timeline and what year this was and how old people were. If Oliver was in the astral plane for 21 years, and David is 32 years old? One could go down that road. I'm not going down that road. (Laughs.) I think a lot changes, and then there are things that probably wouldn't change at all, because people are who they are.

In the finale, Charles prepares to do battle against the "present day" Farouk. But this version of the Shadow King surprises him and us with an alternate offer: a truce, conducted over a couple of beers. It's not the all-out telepathic battle you might expect to find in a superhero series finale.

Well, here's the thing about war, which is what the end of this story was set up to be, the kind of epic final battle that we see in all of these stories: defeat is never change. Only change is change, right? So I suppose there's a scenario in which David and Charles were to defeat Farouk, and change the past. But that Farouk, if he survived, we know that he would just be waiting to get his revenge. And the reality is that the only way to change the future is to change people's minds and their hearts. And that's what was more interesting dramatically, and, for some reason, rarer with that diplomacy ultimately is the only way to solve the problem. Unless I'm going to annihilate you, we're going to wake up tomorrow and have the same problems that we had yesterday.

The finale features another Legion hallmark: a music number, this time featuring Dan Stevens as David singing Pink Floyd's "Mother" with, well, his mother. Why that song, and why place it here in the finale?

What I liked about making it a duet with his mother is that the mother in the song, as performed by Pink Floyd, is a sort of very dark and controlling character, and you never sort of think about [that]. But she's also a human being with a point of view, and the reason that she is the way that she is is because she is who she is. And by making it a duet, I felt like you could see how much love there was behind that. That she wasn't this cold and calculating person. She loved him. She was going to check out all his girlfriends for him and make sure no one dirtied him through. At the same time, it allowed us to really think about the hereditary nature of this mental illness that David has, and to go, "Oh, right. Well, yeah, she is a product of her own mentally ill mother, and grandmother, and her Holocaust experience." And it's going to be hard to raise a child with that.

As you walk away from Legion and move onto Fargo season four and other projects, what do you hope to carry with you from this series?

That it's important to play with this material, and to be open to what the show wants to be. And, obviously, you have to use your skills as a storyteller to make sure you're always telling a dramatic and character driven story. But I wouldn't have made any other story the way that I made Legion, and yet that was exactly the right way to make Legion, which was whimsically, and playfully, and exploring the subjective nature of storytelling, and being able to play with the genre. And you can solve a character through genre filmmaking in a way that you just can't do in a traditional drama. And so I always want to approach every story like no one has ever told a story like this before, and go, "Well, what's the best way to tell it?" Not just asking, "What is the story," but asking, "What's the way to tell the story?