#harold they are lesbians i do not take any other answers for their relationship

[xinyuehui]

⸺ I only have you.

Love Game in Eastern Fantasy · 2024

[welcometothejianghu]

Welcome to another round of W2 Tells You What You Should See, where W2 (me) tries to sell you (you) on something you should be watching. Today's choice: 彩香ちゃんは弘子先輩に恋してる / Ayaka-chan wa Hiroko-senpai ni Koishiteru / Ayaka is in Love with Hiroko!

Ayaka is in Love with Hiroko! is a 2024 eight-episode Japanese comedy of errors about what happens when two adorable lesbians continually get in the way of their own relationship.

I think the poster gives a somewhat wrong impression: Hiroko (in black) is not a straight girl horrified that she is being hugged by a lesbian; she is a lesbian horrified that she is being hugged by her crush, whom she perceives to be an oblivious straight girl. But as the title of the show would suggest, Ayaka (in pink) is very much not a straight girl, and is instead a determined young woman with sapphic designs on the hot older woman at her job.

And they are both so, so stupid about it.

The whole wacky, wonderful series will take up a mere three hours and twelve minutes of your life, so here, as was the case with Otoko Meshi, is a correspondingly quick list of five reasons to watch it.

1. Clueless Lesbian 4 Clueless Lesbian

Have you ever seen someone have a crush and proceed to be normal about it? Well, you won't find that here. Ayaka is going to con this beautiful, competent woman into topping her if she has to kill everyone in this office to do it.

Hiroko refuses to believe that Ayaka might actually mean what she's saying, choosing instead to believe that Ayaka's actions are pure platonic displays of admiration, even when Ayaka outright says what she's after. Meanwhile, Ayaka simply cannot imagine why her very targeted overtures are always being rebuffed, interpreting Hiroko's continued resistance as a sign that Ayaka is simply not doing a good enough job of seducing her. She's got to up her game, dammit!

If you like the type of business where it takes multiple dates for two women to figure out they are in fact girlfriends, this is for you. Every oblivious lesbian trope in the book is on display here. It's a war of attrition between a woman who feels obligated to say no because she doesn't believe the person asking understands what she's asking for, and a woman who won't take "no" for an answer because she's certain that as soon as she figures out how to ask the question correctly, the answer will be "yes."

And will it be? Well, of course it will, because you know how this genre works. But not before some adorable wlw wackiness ensues!

2. Harold, they're (actually) lesbians

Often in both BL and GL properties, characters are presented as mostly straight with only plot-related same-sex leanings, usually having moments of going, I can't believe I'm falling for a wo|man!

The main lady-loving characters in this show have no trouble believing they're falling for women, because one's been out to herself as a lesbian since she was in middle school, one's just coming to terms with her desire for women but has acknowledged that it probably indicates she's a lesbian, and one honestly just never stopped to consider that being a woman desperately in love with another woman is pretty gosh darn lesbian behavior.

And I like that, you know? As much as I love a good Gay For You plot, I appreciate one that acknowledges that there's a whole very real community out there of people who feel the same way! You are not the only girl in the world who wants to kiss other girls! Lesbians have their own networks, hangouts, stereotypes, relationships, and even aesthetics that are distinctly lesbian. You can find them in real life, and I like it when you can find them in fiction too.

These aren't just straight relationships with incidentally matching genitals. There aren't even any strict butch/femme dynamics or demands that lesbianism equal gender-nonconformity. Sure, Hiroko is slightly more toward the masculine side of the gender slider than most of the other women in the show, but she's definitely not outright masc. While she's real into Ayaka's girly looks, as we see from flashbacks, Hiroko's not what you'd call picky about the gender presentation of her female partners.

They even go to a lesbian bar! The world's tiniest, most brightly lit lesbian bar! A magical place where you can always meet a beautiful red-clad femme, a cute little tomboy, and...

3. That hot bartender

It's like a good fairy granted a lion one wish, and the lion said it wanted to be turned into a beautiful Japanese lesbian, and the good fairy was like, wow, that's such a good wish, I'm going to make sure it turns out really great for you.

We are all the big-titty lesbian in red here.

4. Ayaka's outfits!

A major conceit of the show is that Ayaka, in response to her crush on Hiroko, has given herself a complete makeover, choosing outfits and hairstyles that (accurately) reflect Hiroko's tastes.

Even if you don't like her outfits -- and let's be real, some of them are a bit much for me -- they're still very cute and a lot of fun to see worn.

I do want to note that this isn't just a story about Girl Changes Entire Personality For Boy Girl She Likes. Ayaka's pre-transformation self is severe and almost robotic, and ... well, it doesn't seem to make her particularly happy to be like that. It seems less like her older persona is her "real" personality, and more like it's one that she'd just settled on because she'd been told it's what being an adult means.

There, that's what she used to dress like.

When she decides to change her style, she initially steers way too hard in the other direction, to the point where it feels like she went home and binge-watched fifty romcoms to learn how to be a person. (I'm just saying, if you wanted, you could choose to read Ayaka as an interesting flavor of autistic.) Over the course of the show, though, she gently settles into her new mode, which winds up suiting her so much better! So it's less about the nerdy girl having to leave her nerdy self behind to earn the attention of her crush, and more about how having a crush gives a girl the incentive to stop dressing the same way her parents dressed her in the second grade.

Also very cute: Some elements of her wardrobe get reused! She doesn't just magically wear several whole new things every episode! We see her apartment, and it's not large. She doesn't have room for a million different complete outfits, so she has to mix and match.

So yeah, if you, like Hiroko, like to see a cute girl wearing cute things, this show has just what the lesbian doctor ordered. (It's me, I'm the lesbian doctor.) (No, seriously, I am.)

5. A weirdly thoughtful take on the complexities of queer workplace relationships!

The show knows it can't keep up the absolute lesbian obliviousness the whole time, so feelings start to become clear about halfway through -- at which point the conflict that fuels the drama stops being about mistakenly thinking people are straight, and becomes more about why a lesbian office romance might not be the smartest career move for either of them.

After all, by the time you're in your mid-thirties and you've been working in the same place for over a decade, you're pretty well-established in your position -- but not so much that your job is completely safe from gossip or disapproving looks from your higher-ups. Meanwhile, when you're in your early twenties and just getting started, it won't do you any good to have everyone suspecting any future success is just a result of your sleeping with the (girl)boss.

So the goofy lesbian misunderstandings are fun and funny, but their worries about how dating will affect their jobs are real.

You find out eventually why Hiroko is particularly touchy about workplace relationships, and it's a very good reason! But at the same time the show explains this very good reason, it also points out that Japanese culture is slowly becoming more accepting of out gay people. Ten years can make a pretty big difference! Older generations might still be regressive about open queerness, but there's growing support from the youth.

Like these supportive coworkers! Aren't they precious?

I will admit, I am not the biggest fan of boss/underling romance dynamics. However, that never bothered me in this series, because Hiroko never feels quite like Ayaka's boss. She's Ayaka's sempai, sure, but she feels more like a senior colleague than an actual supervisor -- and Ayaka is 100% the one pursuing her, not the other way around. Still, if the idea of any hierarchy-crossing workplace relationship is an absolute dealbreaker for you ... well, you probably stopped reading this rec several paragraphs ago, so I'm not going to worry about it!

Anyway, don't get me wrong and assume this is something deep and serious about how perceptions of queerness can hinder professional success, because it's not. It's a goofy little comedy with cute outfits and dumb lesbians. But it's also a goofy little comedy that also occasionally makes some smart observations, and I like that about it.

bonus: Of course there's an adorable manga!

And you can read it here! It's a bit wackier and it makes some choices that wouldn't have worked in a live-action drama, but they're quite entertaining on the page. Here's the MangaDex summary:

Soft and bubbly office lady Ayaka is madly in love with her senior at work, Hiroko! Two lovestruck coworkers who both think the other is straight totally crush on each other… popular Twitter artist Sal Jiang’s latest office rom-com!

If anything, it handles Ayaka's transformation better than the show does, because it makes clearer that even after the makeover, she's still as intense and tough to crack as she was before -- around everyone but Hiroko. It even says in so many words that sometimes Ayaka's smiling demeanor is just masking.

The manga also knows a lot better what their job actually is, while the drama is more along the lines of, we work in an office! we do events! we have meetings! we create things for clients! It's basically the same Generic Company, LLC that every character in a modern AU fanfic does endless paperwork at.

Beside that, the series is a pretty darn faithful adaptation of the manga! Three volumes and eight episodes seem to be enough to carry about the same amount of story.

Want to watch the cute lesbians?

Sure you do! And the most reliable place to get them appears to be GagaOOLala, though I've found the whole series uploaded by various people on Dailymotion (here's episode 1 from one account, though you can find others).

It's a laugh-out-loud romp smart enough to know to get in there, tell a cute little bite of a story, and get out before the joke gets old. If you believe in the truth and goodness of lesbian love, treat yourself with this cheerful little romance that's only a slight exaggeration of how oblivious real-life lesbians can be.

Attagirl.

[kitausuret]

13. What’s the worst character assassination you’ve seen happen?

24. Ship(s) that makes you cringe.

47. What’s the worst blatantly untrue fanon take you thought was canon?

13. What’s the worst character assassination you’ve seen happen?

I know I've already talked about this but, uh, Kindred (Amazing Spider-Man [2018] #70-74...ish... I think...) really did a number on Harry Osborn and I'm so mad about it, and after reading literally everything about Harry before diving into THAT arc (I'm not even joking, I went down the wiki list of appearances) I'm just. I am just sitting here. Wondering what happened to my beautiful boy.

Also mad about this!!!!!! What the fuck!!!!!! Harry loves his family and would NEVER give up. Also taking psychic damage that this series forgot Stanley existed.

"But Kita, it wasn't him, the Harry we saw post-OMD was a clone-" BUUUULLSHIT!!! You're going to tell me that all the work during ASM v2 was just for nothing? That it was a clone + false memories?? And that even pre-OMD Harry, pre-SSM #200 Harry whatever I don't care, that he was capable of being a criminal mastermind???

Goblin Jr. was never meant to BE a criminal mastermind. He turned to the Goblin because he felt it gave him power and strength he felt he needed to protect his family!! He was traumatized by his father constantly telling him he wasn't good enough, literally HAUNTED by his perception of what others thought of him, do you know what killed Harold Theopolis Osborn? The Goblin Serum. The fact that his motivation would be anything but his own self-perception and desire to be what he felt everyone else expected of him is preposterous. I'm still mad. Don't talk to me.

24. Ship(s) that makes you cringe.

I'm running out of examples for this question, but it's still fun to answer, so: post-OMD Liz/Harry. Why. That is a full lesbian and a gay man. Please stop.

@softgrungeprophet said it best as they were witnessing my read of all things Harry Osborn:

also no offense that is the least sexy ear bite i've ever seen in my life

Thanks, Nadia. But yeah, for real though, I would love for them to be friends! They can be happily divorced parents who love their kids.

47. What’s the worst blatantly untrue fanon take you thought was canon?

I consider myself quite fortunate that I don't often wade into fandom circles where I don't already have a really clear understanding of the source material. So it's been more like, "lied to by adaptations" for most of this kind of thing. That and really out-of-context comic panels.

So, with that, and not to be mean, I will say I don't think Spider-Man and Deadpool have very good chemistry in any sense of the word. Not from what I've seen written. Not compared to either of their respective usual supporting casts.

I'll also say that I was briefly convinced that Tony Stark and Peter Parker had ever had a good relationship. After reading the events around Civil War and later appearances, I've decided it's much better when they're antagonistic. (Amazing Spider-Man #13... I think)

And LASTLYYY the adaptations gaslit me into thinking Peter and Harry were friends first but that's NOT TRUE!! Guess who was friends first!!! Harry and Flash. And Peter was mad about it. 😂 ASM Family #4 you are everything to me.

Shoutout also to Webspinners #3. JMD gets it. Also Harry was nursing a crush on Flash since they met in college and nobody can take this headcanon from me DIE MAD ABOUT IT.

[kisses-for-cas]

Summary: When a witch hunt forces the Winchesters to go undercover in a suburban neighborhood, Dean finds himself fighting with his upcoming feelings for a certain angel. To be more precise: the angel, who currently pretends to be married to his brother Sam.

Ships: Dean/Castiel

Word Count: 8,200

Read on AO3

Tammy has lived in this neighborhood for almost 30 years – she raised her kids around here and now is enjoying her well-deserved retirement with her husband Harold. And if she knows one thing for certain, then it’s this: there’s something wrong with the new neighbors. It’s not because they are gay, Tammy tells herself. She believes herself to be quite open-minded, one of her nieces is actually a lesbian. It’s something else, but she can’t quite put her finger on it yet.

The men moved in today, only a few days after the last tenants died in a horrible and tragic accident involving the lawnmower and a malfunctioning electric wire. Tammy doesn’t like to admit it, but she always knew those two didn’t fit the neighborhood. Sarah brought it up several times at Sunday Brunch, and as it turned out, the entire neighborhood held a grudge against the deceased couple. At least the house still looked well enough to get sold almost immediately again.

It’s hard to catch glimpses of the movers, but she catches a few sights as she stretches out of her bedroom window. One of them has dark hair and is wearing a tan trenchcoat, the other one seems to be taller and is coated in a flannel shirt. Not really the type to be moving into this street, but they might turn out to be nice. She tries to keep an open mind, she tells herself, even though she doesn’t understand how somebody could possibly move while wearing a trenchcoat.

Shortly after dinner, the doorbell rings, and Tammy almost jumps forward to get it. Sarah told her she’d call once she had a proper talk with the new neighbors, but the phone’s been quiet so far. But to her surprise, it’s not her friend in front of the door, but two handsome men holding a basket with muffins.

“Hello, you must be Mrs. Philipps. We’re the Winchesters,” the taller of both says, as he holds his hand out. Tammy shakes them politely, as she smiles at them.

“Tammy is fine, and my husband Harold is probably already asleep in his lounge seat,” she jokes as she shakes their hands. The man in the trenchcoat seems a bit more reserved, but he still gives her a small smile when she looks at him.

“Nice to meet you, Tammy,” the other man says again. “I’m Sam, and this is my husband Cas.”

5 days earlier

“Lawnmower accident?” Dean laughs, as he re-reads the headline again. “Well, if this isn’t our kind of thing, I really don’t know what is.”

“Exactly what I thought,” Sam replies, turning his laptop back to himself. “Apparently there were several deaths within the last 10 years in this neighborhood, and all of them were classified as accidents.”

“All over the area? So less likely a spirit, and more like –“

“Witches?” Sam finishes his brother’s sentence. “Probably, the victims weren’t exactly popular in the area. One of them had a kid, but the couple wasn’t married. Another person wanted to move in with her wife, but she died before she could. Seems like they are most likely targeting people, who don’t fit the community.”

Witches and conservative suburbs sure aren’t Dean’s favorite things in the world, that much is sure. But if people are in danger, there’s no way he’d let them down. Especially, if he might get to kill some fundamentalist witch.

“Huh, so what we’re thinking? I’d say go undercover, but brothers usually don’t go buying some white picket fence house in a conservative neighborhood,” the older Winchester proposes, while settling back in his seat. He remembers how they tried to infiltrate that neighborhood so many years ago and how the salespeople kept mistaking them for a couple.

“I thought Eileen and I could maybe do it, but her leg isn’t healing as we hoped,” Sam thinks out loud, wincing at the thought of his injured girlfriend. The recent werewolf hunt was tougher than expected and left Eileen’s leg badly hurt. Cas tried his best to heal her, but she was still struggling.

“Maybe one of us could team up with Mom?” Dean suggests but cringes once the words leave his mouth. “Urgh, never mind. I’m not very strong on the Oedipus thing.”

“What about me?” Cas chimes in, all eyes turning to him. Dean didn’t even realize the angel entered the room. “Since we are not related, it might be less awkward to pretend a relationship.”

Dean is left more or less speechless, as he babbles incoherent words. He likes Cas very much; they are best friends for a reason. But pretending to be in a relationship? Heaven and Hell have been teasing them for years about their “profound bond”, so they might even get away with it. But Dean’s stomach twists uncomfortably at the mere thought of calling Cas a pet name or holding his hand in public.

“Uh-Uh, no way I’m getting fake-married to Cas!” Dean protests once he finds the ability to speak again. His reaction was apparently a bit harsh, judging by the looks both Cas and Sam give him.

“Okay…,” Sam sighs, drawing the word out in a long breath. It sounds like he wants to say more but instead turns to face the angel. “Castiel, would you like to pretend-marry me?”

Dean can feel a blush creep up his neck, as he stares at his brother. It’s the reasonable thing to do, but it just feels wrong. Nobody ever questioned their status as friends, and Dean can’t even picture the both of them acting in love. When he thought his stomach felt bad before, he’s now actually feeling sick.

He’s close to suggesting a fake relationship with their mom again when Cas simply nods to answer Sam’s question. “Of course, Sam. I mean, I do.”

The two share a hinted smile as if they are both part of a joke Dean doesn’t get. The sick feeling still doesn’t leave him, as he stands up from his seat. He must have eaten something wrong today, that’s the only logical explanation.

“Well, Mazel Tov to you guys then,” Dean mutters, more to himself than to the other men. They don’t even look at him when he leaves the room behind.

———————————————————————————————–

“I still think this is a stupid idea,” Dean protests, as he puts the meatloaf in the oven. Somewhere behind him, he knows Cas is preparing the salad and Sam is busy fluffing some pillows on the couch.

“We need to connect with all the neighbors, and a housewarming party is the easiest way to do so,” Sam replies annoyed. He and Cas introduced themselves to everyone in the neighborhood, but nobody seemed guilty so far. Cas tried his best to “sniff the witch out” but only found some kitchen herbs in the local gardens and a loud laugh from Dean, when he explained his plan to search for witch-like smells. So far, they had no clue who the responsible party could be.

“Dearest, could you make space in the hallway closet for the coats?” Sam calls out to Cas, and Dean almost burns his hand at the stove. He had a few days to adjust to the idea of Sam and Cas pretending a relationship, but the term of endearment still surprises the hunter.  

“What’s next? You’re gonna kiss goodbye on the porch when Cas drives to work?” Dean snaps at his brother, who seems confused by the sudden anger.

“If the situation needs it, sure…,” Sam replies, but Dean interrupts him before he can continue.

“What the hell, Sammy? Dearest? What kind of weird pet name is that even supposed to be?”

“The one Sam and I agreed to,” Cas replies drily. The look in his blue eyes leaves no space for any further discussion. “This act is completely planned out, and we can’t risk our standing because you are having trouble adjusting, Dean.”

Just as Dean wants to argue again, they are interrupted by the sound of the doorbell. They can only hope nobody heard their yelling, the last thing they need is unnecessary gossip from the neighbors. Cas and Sam waltz towards the front door, while Dean stays a few steps behind them.

“Hello Tammy, Harold. Welcome to our humble home,” Sam greets the guests, as the couple enters their hallway. Cas takes their jackets from them, hanging them in the biggest coat closet Dean’s ever seen. Well, at least the house got some perks. Before he can think more about the architectural features of the house, his brother calls for him.

“This is my brother Dean,” Sam introduces him, and Dean tries his best to give a fake smile and nod politely at the boring stories the neighbors tell him. This is going to be a long evening…

—————————————————————————————-

“Well Ladies, let’s begin Sunday Brunch,” Irene happily pronounces, as she raises her mimosa in the air. The other women do the same, cheering each other. It’s the first Sunday Brunch after the Winchesters moved to the area, leaving more than enough gossip material for the group.

“They seem nice enough, but I heard Sam is unemployed. He just sits around all day at home and waits for his Cassiel to come back home!” Jennifer complains with a deep sigh. It’s no secret she isn’t the biggest fan of the new couple, but even she can’t deny the quality of the served meatloaf at the housewarming.

“His name is Cassiel, dear,” Beth replies, eying the salmon pieces hungrily. “They said Sam’s working in IT and can do it from home. Clearly, an excuse, if you ask me.”

The gossip continues happily: Tammy found out they only have one toothbrush. Irene asked about Cas’s job, and apparently, he’s working in a nearby library. And all of them agree, their marriage is weird. Whenever Sam touched his husband, it felt unnatural, and they didn’t kiss once the whole evening.

“We need to address the elephant in the room,” Sarah sighs, and the group’s attention draws over to her. She’s been quiet so far, which means her news are far bigger than everyone else’s: “The brother.”

“If I were only twenty years younger…,” Beth starts, earning a peal of laughter from the women around her. “He’s very handsome, that’s true.”

“Yes, and I think Castiel would agree with you there,” Sarah speaks, before taking a long sip from her teacup. The reaction is immediate, as all the women start talking at once. The Winchester barely lived a week in the neighborhood, but they already produced the best gossip they had in a while.

“Do you think they are having an affair?” Tammy asks shocked. Of course, she had felt the tension between the family members, but she blamed it on the stress of moving. But now that Sarah suggested it, it seems like a possible explanation.

“We can’t be sure yet, but I bet something is going on. Dean surely looked rather unhappy every time he saw Sam touching his hubby. And Cas got some serious heart-eyes for his brother-in-law.”

“Besides,” Irene steps in “their marriage just seems – off? There’s more sex happening in the way Cas looks at Dean than in his marriage bed with Sam”

“Irene!” The shocked gasp from the elder women makes the other guests laugh, as they refill their mimosas.

“Oh, poor Sam,” Tammy sighs, fiddling with her wedding ring. Being cheated on must be awful on its own, but having your husband fool around with your own brother? That’s a new level of tastelessness.“

“Anyways, have you seen Mrs. Ericson’s new haircut? Just awful…”

——————————————————————————————

Dean excuses himself early from the housewarming party, not knowing how much more of the charade he could have handled. He expected to get some blackmailing material for his brother, it was supposed to be a funny sight after all. What he didn’t expect was the burning sensation on his inside, as he regarded the play right in front of him.

He’s still mad about the whole thing, and how caught up both of them were. It’s one thing to hold hands and present in the couple in front of others. But Sam calling Cas by a pet name in private? That’s just unprofessional, even Dean knows that. And then Sam told him, he would even kiss Cas if the situation needs it…What the hell was that even supposed to mean? Nobody is going to force them to kiss, the party guests are all far too old to play “spin the bottle” anymore.

Would Cas even kiss back, if Sam initiated a kiss? The angel doesn’t seem the type for physical affection; hell, he only lost his virginity a few years ago! The image of Cas pressing Meg against the wall, kissing her passionately, popped back up in Dean’s mind. And then the image changed to Cas and Sam in the same manner…God, Dean’s gonna have to swallow some holy water to get rid of that mental image.

Carefully, he watched the way his brother and his friend interacted, and the sight made him feel uneasy. He thought it was a stupid idea for them to fake a relationship because it would just be weird. But now that he was watching the way Cas’s hand rested on Sam’s lower back, Dean realized it’s something entirely else: he’s jealous. It’s not a feeling he knows very well; after all, none of his relationships ever lasted long. But as he watched Cas laugh at one of Sam’s stories, their sides pressed together – it’s setting something inside of Dean loose.

If he hadn’t acted like a child, he might have been the one standing beside Cas at that moment. He would have been the one holding his hand, laughing at his jokes, and maybe even pressing soft kisses on Castiel’s cheek. Nobody would even question their act, he’s sure of that. And then his mind kept wandering, back to the memory of Cas showing off his kissing skills. Except now it wasn’t Meg, but himself getting pinned against the wall.

Dean’s not stupid; he knows he likes men the same way he likes women. It’s been a long journey to finally find self-acceptance, but he’s finally contempt with it. That doesn’t mean he’s going to buy pride stickers and tell everyone around him he’s bi. No, it’s his secret and he’s the only one who needs to know about it.

He also knows Cas’s vessel is very attractive. But those two things – his attraction to men and his profound bond with Cas – were never something he considered might be related. But thinking about Cas kissing him – it’s something Dean never knew he wanted that much. When the sight of the happy couple got too much for him to bear, Dean excused himself to get a drink. Only then he remembered they are actually on a job, and he’s supposed to be on the watch out for possible bad guys.

And he’s totally going to do that.

Once he had a proper drink.

——————————————————————————————

“Please tell me your stupid charade is at least getting you somewhere,” Dean groans, once Cas is settled in his seat across from him. They decided to meet up in a close diner to discuss their next steps, while Sam is hacking the public security cameras from their house. Dean refuses to call it their “home”, hating the implication it’s setting.

“There are a few people we can surely rule out,” Cas replies, stirring some sugar into the coffee mug Dean pressed into his hands. “On my drive yesterday, the energetic waves were much stronger at the end of the street.”

“Great, so what’s next? You and Sammy going to play house for some more weeks, until we finally got our suspect?”

Dean can only hope the hunt will be over rather sooner than later. He barely slept the night after the housewarming party, his mind racing with thoughts. Not even liquor helped to drown them out and the night left him feeling not only exhausted but more upset than ever.

Castiel releases an annoyed groan. “Can you just…you’re undermining this plan at every given opportunity, and Sam and I are getting worried you might risk the entire thing.”

“I just want,” Dean starts, the words twisting in his throat. He knows exactly what he wants, ever since seeing Cas and Sam casually holding hands and snuggling on the couch. But at the same time, he knows it’s something he can’t have. Angels aren’t supposed to have emotions, he knows that. But when he catches Castiel’s blue eyes carefully watching him, Dean can’t help but feel a spark of hope.

“Do you ever think things could be, you know, different between you and me? Maybe we could be…more…or…”

“Dean,” Cas replies, his name sounding almost like a prayer from his lips. “Are you saying…”

“Well, hello you handsome fellas,” a sudden voice snaps them back to reality and when they look at its owner, Beth is smiling at them. “I thought it was you, so I just had to pop in and say hello.”

“Hello then,” Dean grumpily answers, his eyes focused on the table before him. Of all possible times, Beth had to disrupt them just now. He remembers the way those nosy neighbors had eyed him at the housewarming party, and how it made him uneasy. But then again, he only had eyes for Cas that evening.

“Aren’t you supposed to be at work, Cas?” Beth asks, an obnoxious tone hidden under her sweetly sick smile. Right, Dean remembers, they told everyone Cas works at the library. Good enough of an excuse to spend their time there.

“Uhhh – Lunch break,” Castiel answers stiffly, his eyes shortly glancing over to Dean. The hunter seems to have grown smaller by the second, as he fiddles with the menu.

“Well, tell Sam I said hi,” she comments cheerfully, as she finally leaves them alone again. Silence falls over the table, only disturbed by the noise of the diner around them. Dean can feel Castiel’s watchful eyes on him, but he’s not ready to face them yet. He might not believe in fate or destiny, but the disturbance came just at the right time. A few seconds more and he might have destroyed the best friendship he had his entire life.

“Dean…,” Cas finally breaks the silence, but Dean interrupts him before he can speak more.

“Just forget it, Cas…Let’s focus back on the case.”

They don’t pay any attention to Beth, who silently snaps a picture of them from the outside. It feels like the ultimate proof those two are actually having an affair; why else would they meet up in a diner during Castiel’s work hours? She can’t help but grin, as she sends the picture to her friends.

TO: BRUNCH LADIES

“Look who’s having dinner instead of working….”

——————————————————————————————

“It’s Jennifer,” Cas says, once the image of Dean flashes over the laptop screen. After several neighbors pointed out how attached Dean seems to be to his brother, they decided to stick to virtual conversations for the moment.

“You sure?” Dean asks as he watches his brother and his best friend sit on their couch. He should be glad to once have an entire motel room for himself, but for some strange reason, he misses his family. Okay, he knows exactly why: he hates not knowing what’s happening between his brother and Cas. Sammy isn’t interested in Cas that way, he knows that. But the thought of them holding hands is enough to get Dean bothered.

“Absolutely,” Sam replies. “She was already one of our suspects due to some lucky incidents in the last few years, but when I was at her house, I clearly saw some witch supplies.”

“Her magic doesn’t seem too powerful, destroying her supplies and her altar should be enough to stop her,” Cas adds up, and Dean nods along.

“She’s working from home, right?” Dean asks while trying to remember everything about the suspect. Jennifer didn’t talk to him a lot; she was more of a loner. Apparently, her husband died a few years ago and left her enough money to start her own jewelry company. “How are we going to get her out of the house long enough to take care of the situation?”

“We could throw another party. Maybe celebrate a birthday or a wedding anniversary. And you and Mom could handle the house in the meantime,” Sam suggests.

“She didn’t stay long at the housewarming,” Cas throws in. “We need some more time, there might be warding at her house – maybe we could try a distraction, so she stays longer?”

“You could fake-break-up your fake marriage,” Dean huffs under his breath, knowing already they won’t agree to it. If their plan fails, the entire cover-up story would be blown up. There’s a bottle of beer in Dean’s hands and he takes a deep gulp from it. It may not be noon yet, but he stopped caring about that years ago.

Cas answers once Dean finished drinking. “No, that’s hardly enough to draw her attention.”

“We could call Jack, maybe he can help out. He could be your unknown son from a secret affair,” Dean jokes next. It sounds almost like a cheap plotline from Dr. Sexy – except Dr. Sexy’s secret son actually appeared in season 3 and needed an organ transplant, which could only be donated by his father. While Dean tries to remember how the episode ended, Sam and Cas nod in agreement.

“I’ll call Jack right away,” Cas speaks, his phone already halfway pressed to his ear. A second later, the angel disappears from the couch, leaving only Sam in his view. The younger Winchester seems to wait for Castiel to leave the room before he addresses his brother again.

“Dean, promise me you won’t act up,” Sam tries to reason. “We can’t risk the entire thing because you are getting jealous.”

“Jealous? Don’t be ridiculous, Sammy,” the older Winchester mumbles, trying his best to not sound petty. “Scout’s honor, I’ll be on my best behavior.”

——————————————————————————————-

Dean’s promise lasts around 20 minutes, which is already longer than he honestly would have expected. He and Mary will enter Jennifer’s house at 1800 sharp, leaving them with just enough time to trash her little altar and the supplies. Jack is going to start with his distraction around 10 minutes earlier, giving Dean enough time to slip out quietly. It’s all planned to the minute, which of course means, it’s destined to fall apart.

They invited their neighbors under the premise of Castiel’s birthday, even though the angel technically doesn’t even have a birthday. It doesn’t matter anyway, since Sam promised some BBQ and apparently that’s enough to motivate everyone to show up. Dean watches the spectacle from a distance, occasionally sipping his cold beer. He planned to handle the grill, but some bored husband hushed him away to deal with it instead.

Cas looks beautiful, Dean notices as he watches his best friend talking to his guests. He’s wearing a light blue dress shirt and a pair of dark jeans, and Dean makes a mental note to thank his brother for finally getting Cas out of his usual outfit. Then he remembers it means Sam took Cas shopping at some point, and Dean’s gratitude turns sour in his mouth.

“How long have you two been married?” one of the ladies asks Cas, and Dean tries his best to hide a snickering laugh.

“Too damn long,” Dean jokes under his breath, but loud enough for several heads to turn in his direction. Maybe he had a beer too much, but watching Sam and Cas acting in love isn’t a thing he can handle sober.

“Two years,” Cas replies shortly, shooting angry glances at Dean. A second later, he mumbles to his guests again. “May you excuse me for a moment?”

Dean steps back, ready to hide from Castiel’s anger, but it doesn’t work. Barely a moment later, Cas is already in front of him. His hand closes tightly around Dean’s arm, keeping him from turning away.

“What’s the matter with you, Dean? You’re acting like a child,” Cas hisses when he catches him in the hallway. It’s enough to make Dean angry again, as he pulls his arm away from Castiel’s tight grip.

“The matter with me?” he shoots back. “This is honestly so ridiculous, you’re acting so…”

A middle-aged man bumps into them, and Dean stops talking immediately. There are far too many people around and if he says anything about the case, it could ruin their entire plan. The guests are spread all over the house, leaving no place to talk in private. Well, almost no place…

“We need to talk,” Dean whispers, before dragging the angel into the coat closet. Some curious eyes seem to follow them, but Dean shuts the door before anyone else can spot them. The closet is surprisingly spacious, but the walls seem to suffocate him. There’s a bit of light coming in through the shutters, and he can see the concern written all over Cas’s face.  

“What’s going on? Ever since Sam and I began working this case, you’ve been acting weird,” Cas presses on and Dean knows it’s finally time to come clean about his feelings. He doesn’t want to lose Castiel’s friendship, but he can’t keep lying anymore.

“I wish it were me,” Dean rushes before he can chicken out again. “Instead of Sam. I wish it were me you’re married to. And I know it’s all fake, and you’re just pretending, but it’s driving me insane. Watching him hold you and call you those cheesy pet names. Because - because it’s something I want to do with you…not pretending, but for real.”

Once Dean starts speaking, the words don’t seem to stop rushing from his mouth. Cas just regards him with those hauntingly blue eyes, his head tilted in a way that always makes Dean’s heart melt. When all is said, Dean feels like the air was punched out of his lungs, as he awaits his friend’s answer.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

“Because I was too stupid to realize it for the longest time. And then I just didn’t know how to say it,” Dean admits. He came close to confessing in the diner, but Beth interrupted them and afterward, Dean felt ashamed and stupid.

“Dean,” Cas whispers. “I want those things too.”

There’s the beginning of a bright smile on Castiel’s face, and Dean swears his heart skips a beat when the words finally dawn on him. Before Dean can overthink the situation, he presses closer to the angel and is relieved when Cas is doing the same. And then their faces meet in the middle. Kissing Cas is the easiest thing in the world, it turns out. Whatever Dean was so afraid of, is right forgotten once their lips slot together.

It starts out innocent and gentle, just like the way relationships start. But then Cas opens his mouth a little bit, letting Dean lick inside and,  oh  – now things are getting heated. Dean presses even closer to Cas, their chests flushing together and their arms holding each other close. Somewhere, Cas’s back hits a wall and Dean pins him against it. The moan that falls from Cas’s lips is almost obscene while motivating Dean only further.

It’s perfect, and amazing, and breathtaking – until the closet door opens and they stumble onto the floor. Tammy’s surprised gasp draws everyone’s attention over to the couple, still entangled on top of each other on the floor. Everyone’s, even Sam’s.

“What the hell do you two think you are doing?” he yells loud enough to attract the entire house to the hallway, where they are watching them closely. Dean and Cas are still on the floor, slowly stumbling back to their feet.

“Sammy, I can explain…,” Dean starts, but now Sam turns his attention to Cas. He steps closer to them, his pointed finger slapping against Castiel’s chest.

“You’ve been screwing my brother?!” he yells, before locking eyes with Dean. “And you! Is this why Fernando broke up with me?”

Dean is taken aback for a second. Who the hell is Fernando? It’s only then when Dean remembers their lesser-used codewords. He can still recall how he wrote it down in his own leatherbound journal:  Fernando – just play along.

“This got nothing to do with Fernando, this is about me and Cas!” Dean replies with an angry voice, before taking Castiel’s palm into his own hands. Cas gives him a quick squeeze, and Dean decides to have at least a little fun with the situation.

“I finally understand now, why I was so against your marriage. Because you two don’t belong together! Your whole marriage is a scam! You act all perfectly happy when in reality, you’re not even sleeping in the same bed anymore.”

Dean can hear the people around them gasp a little. He wouldn’t be surprised if one of the elder people would end up with a heart attack due to all the fake drama being uncovered right now. Besides him, Cas draws in a deep breath, before speaking to his (fake) husband.  

“It’s true, Sam. I’ve been having feelings for your brother for a while now, but I never knew how to address them.”

Sam just looks at them with the biggest puppy eyes Dean’s ever seen. His time in drama club surely played out. “Are you two in love?”

Dean takes a deep breath, looking over to the familiar blue eyes, and the truth slips easily over his tongue.

“I think I love Cas more than I’ve ever loved myself.”

The look on Castiel’s face is everything and without even words, Dean knows he feels the exact same about him. The room is quiet around them, and from the corner of his eye, Dean spots Jennifer amongst the watchers. At least their little distraction worked well enough for her to stay.

“As your brother, I wish you all the happiness in the world,” Sam speaks, his eyes fixed in the distance. When Dean turns his head, he spots their mother coming in through the entrance door, breathing heavily but otherwise seems okay. She gives them both a small nod, signaling them she took care of the altar.

The crowd seems satisfied for the moment, and Dean is about to lead Cas out of the house when a voice stops them midway. It’s Jack, who is shouting loud enough for everyone to hear: “Sam, I am your secret son!”

The drama is enough to make at least one elder lady faint.

——————————————————————————————-

Dean and Cas depart soon enough, leaving Sam to deal with the rest of the concerned neighbors. Everybody seems to be too caught up in the drama to notice their quiet leave. They end up back in the diner, this time holding hands on the table. Surprisingly, everything feels the same and yet, completely different than before. Dean can’t put it in words, but for the first time in years, he knows he’s truly happy.

It takes a bit of time for Sam to finally text him, saying his guests finally left them alone and they can come back to talk about their next steps. When the Impala roars down the road, Dean can feel the eyes of every household staring at them. They are probably wondering why he would be back so soon enough, but Dean doesn’t care. He just holds Cas’ hand on the way to the house, fully knowing he won the grand prize.

Jack and Mary greet them happily, and even Sam can’t hide his grin as he approaches his brother. “Well, if it isn’t the homewrecker himself.”

“Come on, I bet several of your neighbors would have consoled you all night long, if you had asked them,” Dean shoots back, throwing a wink at Sam. He remembers the way one of the ladies had clung to Sam’s arm, trying her best to cheer him up about his failed marriage.

They all settle in the living room: Cas and Dean on the couch, Mary and Sam seated in each of the armchairs, and Jack sitting cross-legged on the floor. It may not be much, but it’s their own little screwed-up family. While Sam gets them beers from the fridge, Dean considers putting his arm around Cas. They haven’t had time to label their relationship yet, but they’re both too old to play games. So, Dean decides to go with his gut and wraps his arm around Castiel’s shoulder. The returned smile lets him know it was a good decision.

“Sorry for the way I acted earlier, it was just for show,” Sam says when he passes the beer over to the couple. “I’m actually glad you two finally figured things out.”

“Me too,” Mary chimes in with a laugh. “Even though I was patiently waiting for your back-up at the house.”

“Bet you still did an amazing job without me,” Dean returns, an honest smile on his lips. He holds his beer towards her, and she clinks it with her own.

Sam fills them in with the details of the last hours, and how he watched Jennifer leave her home in a panicked state. She packed a few bags, before driving away with screeching tires. Well, another case successfully solved. They talk for hours while laughing about stories and eating the leftovers from the party.

“Damn, I could really use some sleep now,” Dean yawns, stretching his arms. A short glance at the clock lets him know it’s almost 2 am and they gotta hit the road early the next day.

“How about you two head to the motel, and Jack and Mom stay here?” Sam proposes. When Dean checks on Jack, the kid is curled up in his seat, snoring quietly. No way they’re going to move him somewhere else, so this plan might be for the best.

“You just want me to stay, so your neighbors see this pretty lady leave your house tomorrow,” Mary jokes, earning some quiet hollering from her elder son and a laugh from Castiel.

“Guess we’re heading back to the motel,” Dean finally decides, before clumsily standing up from the couch. If it weren’t for the awful neighbors, this place might actually be nice. The furniture for one thing is comfortable enough. And the closet sure gave him a few ideas what to do with Cas in the future. He takes a few steps towards the door until he notices something is missing. “Cas, you coming?”

“You want me to come along?” Cas asks, and Dean just nods.

“Of course, would be weird to stay with your husband now that you scored the hotter brother,” Dean replies, pressing a gentle kiss on Castiel’s cheek. He never knew angels could blush, but it’s a sight he will never get enough of.

“We’ll pick you up tomorrow at nine, better be dressed!” Sam shouts after them when Dean is already halfway out of the door.

“You’re such a buzzkill, Sammy. No wonder your husband left you”

“I’m just glad you’re finally out of the closet,” Sam shoots back with a grin. Dean already knows it’s a joke he’ll hear a thousand times in the upcoming years, but when he looks over at Cas, it sure is a price worth paying.

The drive to the motel is rather short, and soon enough, Dean unlocks the door to his room. Luckily, he had booked a room with a king-size bed. He rarely had a room for himself during hunts, so he had decided to enjoy that. Cas closes the door behind them, while Dean strips out of his flannel and his jeans. He’s still wearing a shirt and his boxers, but compared to a fully dressed Castiel, he almost looks naked.

When Dean comes near him, the angel wraps his arms around his torso and pulls him even closer. Once again, their lips meet in a kiss, growing more heated by the second. It’s with a sigh that Dean slowly pulls away again.

“Maybe we should take it slow, honey. How about we just cuddle tonight?” Dean murmurs, pressing gentle kisses along his jaw. The exhaustion of the day lies heavily on Dean’s bones, and all he wants to do is cuddle into bed, his lover beside him.

“Honey?” Cas asks with a raised eyebrow, and Dean feels himself blushing yet again.

“It’s just – every time I see a bee or something, I have to think about you,” he admits. “Remember how you collected honey yourself? Or when you showed up covered in bees?”

Cas smiles at the memory. “Of course, I remember, but why would you bring that up now?”

“It’s just a term of endearment, a pet name. I can stop if you want”

Dean was never a big fan of pet names. He usually called his partners by their names, not some silly phrase. But then again, he was the one who turned  Castiel  to  Cas,  so maybe the angel has always been the exception for him.

“No, I like it,” Cas decides, before pressing another quick peck onto Dean’s lips. “And I am fully contempt with cuddling you.”

After some discussion about clothing choices, Cas also strips down to his underwear. Cuddling in jeans and a dress shirt would have been awful, and Dean luckily managed to convince the angel of it. The bed is more than big enough for the both of them, as they lie facing each other in the dark.

“We should make you a proper Winchester someday,” Dean mutters, gently kissing Cas’s knuckles. He isn’t thinking about marriage, not yet at least. Most marriages he’s seen over the years ended in death: his parents, Bobby and his wife Karen, Ellen and her husband…The list goes on and on, including those couples they couldn’t save during their hunts. When he saw his own father stricken with grief for his lost wife, part of Dean swore he’d never marry. But then again, Dean never would have believed he’d ever live past the age of 30. It’s with a smile upon his lips that he finally falls asleep.

All his life, he expected monsters in every dark corner, and more than enough times Dean was proven right. He’s been long enough in the business to smell danger from miles away, Dean believes. Which is why he’s surprised to wake up to the sound of Castiel shouting his name.

When he opens his eyes, all he sees is purple. The room seems to be painted in the color, reflecting on every surface possible. And in the middle of it all stands Jessica, glaring at them with violet and angry eyes.

“You! You really thought destroying my altar was enough to stop me?”

Dean’s hand finds its way under his pillow but returns empty-handed. He must have forgotten to place it there, too caught up with his lover. And when he looks around, he can spot his faithful gun sitting on top of a dresser, which is inconveniently placed behind the wrathful witch in the room. Cas is already standing beside the bed, and the sight of a half-dressed angel ready to fight would be hilarious if it weren’t for the mortal danger they’re in.

“You’re an abomination,” Jessica yells again. “Dirty and sinful, and…”

The angel blade hits her right in the chest. Her purple eyes glance downwards, where the blood comes rushing out of her body. Apparently, she was so caught up in looking dangerous, she actually forgot to ward herself. And with Castiel’s heavenly aim, that could only end deadly for her. Jessica sinks to her knees; the purple flashes of lightning slowly disappearing from the room. It’s only then when Dean decides to approach her. Blood is running down her mouth, but she’s still alive, watching the hunter carefully as he kneels down in front of her.

“I’ve had a voice like you in my head my entire life, whispering awful things about myself,” Dean tells her, keeping eye contact as he pulls the angel blade out of her bleeding chest. “But now, that I’m finally happy, do you know what happens to this voice?”

Jessica doesn’t answer, and he doesn’t need her to.

He would have slit her throat either way. 

———————————————————————————————

“Welcome to Sunday Brunch, Agnes,” Sarah announces, as the women settle down at her dinner table. It’s been a while since they had another brunch, but it was long-awaited. Today, a new face sits at the table with them.

“So sad Jennifer decided to move away, but we are glad we got you in the neighborhood now.”

“Thanks for having me,” Agnes replies with a shy smile, as she glances around at the other women. “It’s wonderful to have such nice and caring neighbors, my old neighborhood was so scandalous…”

“Scandalous?” Irene laughs, shaking her head in disbelief. “Oh dear, you ain’t seen nothing yet!”

“Are you referring to the Winchester?” Tammy replies while stirring her tea. It’s been weeks since those men came and went, but it’s still everyone’s favorite topic of discussion.

“Don’t be silly, of course I mean the Winchesters!”

Beth releases a deep sigh. “I’ve heard they did it right in Dean’s fancy car after the party.”

“No, they threw Sam out of the house and then had sex in the bed Sam used to sleep in. How tasteless of them,” Sarah corrects her immediately.

“That can’t be.” It’s Tammy’s turn to speak now. “I saw him the next day with a blonde woman in front of the house”

“Guess he got over it quickly then,” some other woman giggles. “Have you seen the kid too? Sam can’t have been older than maybe 25 when he was born”

Agnes just smiles quietly, as she listens to the stories. She may not know the Winchesters, but they sure are entertaining as heck.

———————————————————————————————

Castiel becomes a Winchester on a sunny day in July.

It’s been months since the case that started their relationship, and they never spared another thought to those nosy neighbors. Dean suspects the rumors they started that night, but he couldn’t care less. Once the town disappeared from the Impala’s rearview mirror, none of them ever spared another thought to the neighborhood. Dean and Castiel couldn’t be happier, and that’s all that matters to them.

Jody invited all of them to her cabin at Lake Alvin, just outside of Sioux Falls. They are celebrating Claire’s graduation from college, and Dean couldn’t be prouder of the kid. He talks Cas into buying her the cheesiest greeting card they can find, paired with the most beautiful gun in the entire bunker. It’s got engravings all over and Dean even finds somebody who puts “C.N.” onto the side of it. He would rather have Claire live a normal life, but he knows it’s not going to happen.

It appears like everybody in the hunter community got the invitation: Sam and Eileen, Mary, Donna, the Banes twins, even Garth and Bess together with their kids. It’s not often hunters get to celebrate something, so everybody immediately jumped the opportunity. It’s a beautiful day, and at some point, Dean finds himself standing next to Claire.

“So, when you gonna put a ring on it?” she asks, nodding over to Castiel, who is chasing his little namesake all over the lawn in a playful game. Dean’s heart swells at the thought of this man being his husband. They hunt less and less these days, especially since Sam decided to move in with Eileen. It’s still a secret, but he and Cas recently bought a house in the same street as them. It might finally be time to leave the hunting life behind.

“There’s no rush,” Dean simply answers, trying his best not to settle on the thought. If he’d ever marry someone, it probably would be Cas. His eyes are still fixed on the laughing figure when Claire continues speaking.

“Whatever, old man. But if you ever want to tie the knot, just call me,” she says, shrugging with her shoulder. When Dean looks at her with a raised eyebrow, she continues. “I’m actually a licensed officiant, not that it would matter for you two anyways. Could marry you just like that –“

She snaps her fingers, before taking a gulp of her soda. Dean looks over to Cas again, his thoughts running in his head. What if…? The idea seems insane to him, but Claire seems to catch his thoughts. A smile breaks over her face: “Go ahead, dude. Just ask him.”

“Don’t want to steal your thunder, kid.”

“There would be no thunder without you,” she confesses, and Dean can’t help but pull her into a tight hug. He never expected to have kids, but he loves Claire just like his own blood. Her first weeks in college were rough, he remembers. But every time she came close to quitting, she’d call Dean. At this point, she’s just as much his kid as Jack, and he couldn’t be prouder of the people they’ve become.

When they step apart, Claire pulls a necklace from her neck. Two golden rings are connected on it, and Dean immediately knows who they belonged to.

“Here, this one should fit,” she says and presses the larger ring into his shaking hands. Dean mutters an honest thanks, smacking a gentle kiss on her forehead, before sprinting over the lawn.

“Hey Cas, can we talk for a moment?”

“You’re not dragging me into a closet again, are you?” Castiel laughs, but willingly follows his boyfriend a few feet away from the crowd.

“If I remember correctly, you rather enjoyed that…,” Dean counters with a grin, before kissing the angel gently. Cas is still smiling against his lips, and Dean pulls away with a deep breath.

“I have an idea…well, actually Claire had the idea, but I think it’s kinda awesome. And since everyone we love is already here, it would just be such a good opportunity and…”

“Dean,” Cas simply says, putting a stop to Dean’s blabbering.

“Will you marry me? Tonight? I know, you actually deserve a much better proposal and a wedding that doesn’t take place in flannel, but I love you so very very much”

Dean’s stammered words are silenced by a loving kiss. When they pull apart, Cas is smiling brighter than the sun.

“I’ve adored you ever since the moment I touched your soul in hell, of course, I’ll marry you”

The biggest smile flashes over Dean’s face, and Cas returns it just as much. A moment later, a loud shout draws their attention over to the cabin, where Claire is cheering in a way, that reminds them far too much of Dean. And when they tell everyone else, the mood just keeps going up.

It’s not a traditional wedding, but then again, their whole lives aren’t exactly normal. Jack insists on being the flower girl, even though Dean and Sam try their best to correct it to “flower-boy”. The music comes from a beaten-up boombox, which plays “November Rain” on repeat and the couple agrees not to exchange vows, deciding to wait with them until they can talk privately.

Dean’s hands shake when he slips the ring onto Castiel’s finger. It’s only now that he realizes they only got one ring, but before Dean can freak out, the angel pulls another golden band from his pocket.

“Where did you get that ring from?” Dean asks, and Cas casts a glance over to Jody, who is currently trying to stop crying. They barely knew her husband, and sometimes Dean still feels a pinch of guilt they couldn’t save him. The ring, he knows, is not only a final peace offering but an official invitation to the family. Dean shoots her a thankful smile, and she just nods in return.

“Speak now, or forever hold your peace,” Claire announces from the front, but the crowd remains luckily silent.

“We’ve been waiting for ages, no way we’re going to object now,” Sam shoots from the side, making everybody laugh. If Dean wasn’t close to bawling his eyes out, he’d probably throw a witty remark at his brother.

“Well then,” Claire says, clearly holding tears back herself. “I shall pronounce you officially hitched!”

Everyone cheers when Cas pulls Dean in a kiss, marking the beginning of a new chapter. The rest of the evening passes in a blur: they dance, they sing, Sam proposes to Eileen, Claire and Kaia finally get together, and Dean and Cas once again find themselves fooling around in a closet. But it’s perfect in every way.

Not every family contains of two parents and a bunch of kids. For them, family contains of two washed-up hunters, their time-traveling mom, a badass Irish huntress, a fallen angel, the devil’s son, and dozens of other people they got to know over the years. Bobby once told Dean, family don’t end in blood, but it doesn’t start there either.

And as Dean watches his happy and fucked-up family, his hand tightly holding onto his husband, he just knows truer words were never spoken.

[ohhpersephone]

I know it’s almost March and I probably should have done this sooner, but I didn’t think about it so I’m doing it now! Here’s a mostly complete list of things that I wrote in 2019! I’ll put it below the cut so I don’t spam anyone, but if you’re interested in any of the following, click the cut :)

My Hero Academia - Bakugo/Midoriya

Harry Potter - Draco/Harry

Good Omens - Aziraphale/Crowley

Person of Interest - Finch/Reese

Poetry!

Personal Essays touching on humor! lesbians! mental illness! An argument for rereading books! Why fic is important!

POETRY

Poetry Tumblr Poetry Instagram

FIC

Good Omens

you had your soul with you Rating: General Audiences Wordcount: 3,339 Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens) Characters: Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley (Good Omens) Additional Tags: Fluff, with a little demonic angst

After the world is supposed to end but doesn't, Crowley and Aziraphale have a conversation about a certain book of prophecy.

back in your body Chapters: 1/1 Rating: Not Rated Wordcount: 2,336 Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens) Additional Tags: Light Angst, Coda

Looking at the bookshop and drinking scene from Crowley's POV.

I’ll be your rabbit in the headlights Rating: Mature Wordcount: 7,185 Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens) Additional Tags: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Praise Kink

"The demon absentmindedly ran his hand through his hair, the fifth such time he’d done so in the past half hour. A low thrum of anxiety had taken residence in his stomach after Armaged-Not and refused to leave, even after the complete radio silence from the respective offices of Heaven and Hell that had followed the trials. Part of Crowley reveled in the newfound freedom, but another whispering part thought this can’t be over." Crowley has some fears and Aziraphale tracks him down, looking for answers.

My Hero Academia

SERIES: you’re always on my mind whisper in your ear Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Wordcount: 6,628 Relationships: Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku Additional Tags: Getting Together, Aged-Up Character(s), Post-Canon, Light Angst, Bakugou Katsuki is Bad at Feelings, Mild Language, Pro Hero Midoriya Izuku, Pro Hero Bakugou Katsuki, Pining Bakugou Katsuki, pining like a motherfucker "Katsuki Bakugou has never been accused of emotional intelligence. A hardworking student, of course. An overpowered little shit with the quirk control of a seasoned pro? Absolutely, emphasis on the little shit. But understanding emotions beyond anger and annoyance? That is not Bakugou’s wheelhouse." After graduation Bakugou heads to America. A nudge from Kirishima leads him to look back towards home.

I think about you and wonder if you are awake Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Wordcount: 9,526 Relationships: Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku Additional Tags: Pro Hero Midoriya Izuku, Pro Hero Bakugou Katsuki, Aged-Up Character(s), Getting Together, Bakugou Katsuki Swears A Lot, Bakugou Katsuki is Bad at Feelings, Midoriya Izuku is Bad at Feelings, Light Angst, Post-Canon, Pining, so much pining, Mutual Pining, Mentions of Sex "So Izuku lies in bed and stares at the ceiling, trying to avoid thinking and thinking entirely too much. As often happens when he has too much time and not enough distractions, his mind flashes images in front of his eyes of blond hair, a snarling grin, controlled but wild red eyes. He wonders where Kacchan is now, wonders what he’s doing, misses him with a ferocity that threatens to drown him." whisper in your ear from Izuku's point of view.

a letter a day keeps the heartache away Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Wordcount: 2,627 Relationships: Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku Additional Tags: Epistolary, Light Angst, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Bakugou Katsuki Needs a Hug, Insecurity, Happy Ending "There is a shoebox in the back of the closet. Katsuki doesn't think much of it the first time he sees it, he's looking for his nice shoes and they're in a hurry. It’s not labeled or marked as special in any way, but he knows how much of an emotional hoarder Izuku is. The man would save anything and everything given to him, small pieces that remind him of people and times that are important to him." When Katsuki finds something in the closet, a necessary conversation happens.

ONESHOTS here comes a thought Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Wordcount: 4,007 Relationships: Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Fusion, Aged-Up Character(s), Pro Hero Midoriya Izuku, Pro Hero Uraraka Ochako, Pro Hero Bakugou Katsuki, Getting Together, Naked making out, Quirk Accident (My Hero Academia)

It should have been an easy day. Izuku woke before his alarm and the sun is shining, he’d even snagged the last spicy pork bun at the stall he usually stops at for breakfast. There had been no major events while he’d slept and his desk is—by rare chance—empty of reports when he gets in. He spends the morning with a smile on his face, relaxed.Of course it doesn’t last. When Bakugou and Midoriya get hit with an unexpected quirk, a new world opens before him.

an end, once and for all Rating: Explicit Wordcount: 7,531 Relationships: Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku Additional Tags: Major Character Injury, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Pro Hero Midoriya Izuku, Pro Hero Bakugou Katsuki, Future Fic, Near Death Experiences, Final Battle, Getting Together, Anal Sex, First Time, Protective Midoriya Izuku, Protective Bakugou Katsuki, mentions of death of all might

Izuku is so tired. He’s overused his quirk and he’s separated from the other heroes. He knows he’s so far past his limits, but there’s a whisper in his heart that knows this has to be it. This is his chance to end everything, to finally bring the villain down. There is no other option. The final fight with All For One ensues and Izuku is hard pressed when Bakugo arrives. Then there's the aftermath.

how close am I to losing you Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Wordcount: 3,341 Relationships: Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku Additional Tags: Established Relationship, Quirk Accident (My Hero Academia), Minor Injuries, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Pro Hero Midoriya Izuku, Pro Hero Bakugou Katsuki, Pro Hero Kirishima Eijirou, Future Fic, Aged-Up Character(s)

It’s a simple enough plan: they’ve been tracking the source of several riots that have occurred in the recent weeks and came to the conclusion it had to be a quirk. The lack of memory from the riot victims, no traces of chemicals or any environmental causes found, and the spontaneous explosion of violence that preceded each event narrowed possible inciting incident quite a bit. Then in reviewing security footage of the events, a single, fire-red head was spotted floating in and out of the chaos at each location. In trying to take down a villain with a rage-inducing quirk, Katsuki gets hit and Izuku has to protect him from himself.

Other Fandom Oneshots

what hides in the past Fandom: Harry Potter Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Wordcount: 3,541 Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Additional Tags: Established Relationship, Past Child Abuse, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Auror Harry Potter, Unspeakable Draco Malfoy

Draco is doing some unpacking while Harry's at work and stumbles across something that makes him question what he really knows about Harry's childhood.

live with me Fandom: Person of Interest Rating: Mature Wordcount: 6,207 Relationships: Harold Finch/John Reese Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Torture, Truth Serum, Angst with a Happy Ending, BAMF Harold Finch, Protective Harold Finch, Hurt John Reese, Getting Together, Kidnapping

"The summer heat had settled over New York weeks ago, and while crimes of passion had spiked with the temperature, premeditated attacks had dropped off while people took shelter and tried to conserve energy. There hadn’t been a number in days, something that caused Reese both to pace restlessly while trying to encourage Finch to take a break." It's supposed to be an easy day. No one counts on Reese being taken by a previous number's enemies.

Personal Essays

On the Importance of Bailing In a world that idolizes individual strength, bailing is not a positive thing. But it’s something we need, and we need to talk about it.

Why We Should Be Teaching Fanfiction Fanfiction is not a lesser form of writing. It can teach us so much about what it means to be human, if we’re willing to listen.

If the night is too dark, read this. It’s so hard to find reasons to keep going sometimes. This isn’t a reason, but it is a message from someone who’s been there and still is.

How I Came Out Twice Coming out can be a stressful experience full of unknowns. Here’s the story of why I did it twice.

An Argument for Rereading Books Many things in our society are very “one and done”, not necessary to revisit once done. But should we reread books? Here’s why I say yeah.

When Your Eating Disorder Isn’t About Food At All I love food, but this was never about the food, was it?

the dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had You know the song Mad World by Gary Jules? Funnily enough, for me it’s the truth.

My Level Up Moment Becoming an adult is not a continuous process, it comes in fits and spurts. Here’s a moment where I felt myself grow up.

[sage-nebula]

Anyone asked Alain yet for the meme? If not, Alain, Manon, Steven, and Sycamore~!

Alan:

sexual orientation headcanon

Aromantic asexual! And if I can finish it (it’s at thirteen pages right now, and I’m near the end, I just—!), I should have a fic exploring him discovering this posted for Pride Month. (Yes, we’re two days out from the end of Pride Month, and I have another fic due on the 30th, and I’m still struggling to finish this, orz.)

But essentially, Alan is as aroace as it is possible to get. He does not feel romantic nor sexual attraction for anyone, period. As I’ve mentioned before, he never once shows any kind of attraction toward anyone during his time on the show, which is notable for the Kalos saga due to how many characters openly and blatantly expressed romantic attraction to others (including Alan’s own papa, what with the way Sycamore blatantly hit on Meyer like that). Alan is aware that romantic and sexual attraction are things that exist for other people—that other people get into relationships and the like—but it’s not something that he ever experiences himself, and usually it’s so far from his mind that he doesn’t even realize when others are hitting on him / when others take the things he says as flirtations (such as, I headcanon that Ayaka thought he was flirting with her in TSME 1 when he said that it was an honor to be complimented by her, but he wasn’t—he just genuinely meant that in a respectful way, because he’s a nice person).

Additionally, while he’s not romance repulsed (he’s not interested, but it also doesn’t skeeve him out), he is sex-repulsed to an extent. Like, it doesn’t bother him that other people have sex, and he doesn’t mind if they talk about it in front of him / doesn’t mind discussions about it, particularly since it’s something that occurs in nature with pokémon and whatnot. It’s a thing that happens. But the idea of having sex or being involved in a sexual act himself is one that does skeeve him out and make him uncomfortable. He’s not only not sexually attracted to others, and is not only not at all interested in participating, but the idea of participating makes him uncomfortable to the point of wanting to up and leave. It’s not a huge, drastic thing, but it still is a thing nonetheless. It’s a part of who he is.

mental illness / neurodivergent headcanon

Right off the bat, he absolutely has complex post-traumatic stress disorder, otherwise known as C-PTSD, as a result of being an abuse survivor. Based on canon alone, he definitely has it as a result of being emotionally abused by Lysandre over a period of years (two in my headcanon, but the exact time frame is unspecified in canon; all we can tell is that it was quite a long time). If we add the backstory I created for him to that, then he had C-PTSD even prior to that as a result of his abusive early childhood in Isolé Village. Living with Sycamore helped mitigate his symptoms and helped him heal considerably (particularly since Sycamore rescued him from Isolé Village when he was so little, and raised him for the seven years following), but when he was recruited into Lysandre’s service, the emotional abuse that Lysandre doled out on him reawakened and exacerbated the symptoms that, while latent, were already there. (Keep in mind, too, that C-PTSD can often strongly resemble a personality disorder when it occurs in childhood / adolescence—it shapes the way one grows and develops, and affects how they come to see and interact with the world. So this isn’t something that can ever be healed completely, nor is it something that will just “go away”. While Alan can and certainly will recover from his trauma, his C-PTSD is something he is going to be living with for the rest of his life, and something that has shaped him as a person.)

In addition to C-PTSD, I do think that he’s prone to clinical depression, as well as an anxiety disorder. His depression, while chronic, tends to not be severe unless it’s working in conjunction with his C-PTSD (in the sense that, his depression is acting up again while he’s also suffering a guilt / shame spiral as a result of his trauma, hence everything is exacerbated and the depression is a lot worse than it would be if it was just the depression acting up on its own). His anxiety, on the other hand, does tend to be more severe, particularly because Alan has the type of brain that never shuts up. Once he gets started thinking about something that stresses him out, he has a difficult time distracting himself from it. He’ll keep thinking about it, and think about it some more, and think about it even more, and this leads him on anxiety spiral that can spiral right down into a panic attack. (Of course, the problem is that Alan also tends to stifle his reactions to things and shut down / close in on himself, so it can be hard to spot. Yes, he’s having a panic attack, but since he shuts down and just goes silent, it can be damn near impossible for others to tell. That said, sometimes his panic attacks get so bad that he actually vomits, so … that’s a little more noticeable, even if he’ll usually try to get somewhere private (or at least with just Lizardon) before it gets to that point.)

So yes, he has C-PTSD, depression, and a major anxiety disorder. Fun times!

3 random headcanons

Only three? Heheh. I’ll try to share three new ones.

At some point in the Immortality AU he gets a massive sycamore tree tattoo on his back. It’s purely in black ink, and is rather stylized, but he got it as a tribute to his father, as well as … well … a reminder of his roots. ;)(… I’ll see myself out.)

He knows how to pick locks. Specifically, he knows how to pick locks with a paperclip. Even more specifically, he knows how to pick handcuff locks with a paperclip, and had to do this once when he was ten (which is also the time he discovered he could figure out how to do this). Yes, there is a story there, and yes, it will be written eventually. But the point is, he can pick other locks, too, if you give him a paperclip and enough time to work it. (And it doesn’t necessarily have to be a paperclip—a bobby pin could work too—but it’s just that a paperclip was what he had on him at the time, when he was ten. He was a lab assistant, what do you expect?)

Alan has various social media accounts, but he hardly uses any of them. Like, he has a Tripter, but he hasn’t updated it in months and probably doesn’t even remember it exists on the regular. He has a FateBook (and has had one for years), but he rarely posts things himself and changes his profile picture once in a blue moon. He does comment on other people’s statuses and the like, but again, his activity there is still pretty minimal, even then. (He’s also very selective about who he adds on FB. He has a very small Friends List, and even though the Friend Requests start piling up (much to his alarm) after he becomes Champion (and tbh he even had quite a few after winning the League), he just kind of … lets them sit.) Manon pestered him until he created a blog on Shakr, and so he does have one there, but … it still has the default theme. He has never posted anything. He never reblogs anything, either. No one even knows it’s his. He’s just not interested.That said, the one social media account that he does update at least semi-regularly? Immedigram. While he rarely adds captions to his photos, he takes a decent amount of pictures with his PokéNav Plus (or whatever the newest model is—Steven makes sure he stays current), and he uploads them to IG whenever he does. He has quite a few followers because, in all honesty, some of the pictures he takes while flying with Lizardon are downright beautiful. (And there are a lot of sky / dawn / dusk / star pictures. He … really likes the sky. It calms him.) So there is that, at least, even if Manon still thinks that his social media participation could use a lot more work. (Steven agrees. Alan just rolls his eyes and ignores them.)

Manon:

sexual orientation headcanon

She’s a lesbian, Harold.

Manon likes girls. She likes pretty girls! And this is something that’s always been a part of her, even before she consciously realized that she had pretty strong crushes on pretty girls right out of the gate. But once she hits her teen years it doesn’t take her long to realize that she really, really likes pretty girls, and from there to realize that she really only likes pretty girls. Like, guys are okay, she guesses—but they just don’t make her heart flutter the way girls do. Moreover, Manon being Manon, once she realizes this about herself she’s pretty okay with it. And by “pretty okay”, I mean that once Manon has a crush on someone, she goes after that person. She is not afraid to outright flirt with someone she is interested in, or outright ask them on a date, or outright tell Alan about how she found her future wife and they are going to get married and adopt three children and he better be her best man at her wedding.

“What’s her last name?” Alan asks.

“I’m—it’s—” Manon waves a hand dismissively. “I’ll get to that part. I’ll find out. It won’t matter ‘cause she’ll take mine, anyway.”

“Uh-huh.”

“What do you mean, ‘uh-huh’? What’s that tone for? Why do you always sound so disbelieving whenever I tell you I’m getting married?!”

“I think you just answered your own question.”

“Hmph! Keep this up, and I won’t let you be my best man!!”

(For the record, he’s not her best man when she gets married. He is the one, given the absence of a father in her life, to walk her down the aisle, though.)

mental illness / neurodivergent headcanon

While I’m by no means an expert on it, I can absolutely see Manon with ADD, as well as dyslexia. She tends to talk fast and jumps from idea to idea, and some of her most common questions have to do with words or vocabulary, which could stem from a difficulty with reading (like, if she has dyslexia + has difficulties focusing on the page, then learning new words could be a challenge). These two things tend to frustrate her and make her feel stupid at times, because if she was smarter she wouldn’t have such problems—but of course she’s not stupid at all. She just has a learning disability / neurodivergence, and that’s okay because she learns in different ways, particularly once she learns how to work around her learning disability / neurodivergence to find the learning styles that work for her.

(Bonus: She had no idea that she had either of those, but Alan noticed her mixing up words / letters when reading or writing, thought it might be dyslexia, and talked to Sycamore about it the next time they talked. The three of them sat down and discussed things, did some research, one thing led to another and that’s how Manon had some pretty big questions answered for her. Who knew.)

3 random headcanons

Manon loves flowers and plants of all types, which is a big part of the reason why she ends up specializing in grass-types (to the point of becoming the grass-type specialist of the Kalosean Elite Four). When she’s older she’s almost always wearing a (fresh) flower crown in her hair, along with hair clips that are shaped like leaves. She also gets flower tattoos along her arms, with each flower representing a different important person in her life. Also, while I always imagined that she would evolve Hari-san into a chesnaught someday, lately I’ve been toying with the idea that maybe he stays a chespin forever, similarly to how Pikachu will forever be Pikachu. People can laugh, but Hari-san can be the most dependable pokémon in Kalos even if he never evolves—he could be strong regardless. I’m not sold on that yet, but I’ve been toying with it lately anyway. (Besides, it’s not like he can mega evolve—that’s for Fushi-kun the venusaur—so there’s no reason why he has to evolve all the way …)

Yvonne ends up becoming her rival. She is high-key outraged when she learns that Alan helped Yvonne pick her starter pokémon / gave her advice. (“Alan, don’t help her, she’s my rival!!”) They end up becoming friends (girlfriends??) later on in life, but it’s a hot rivalry there for a while, particularly since Yvonne picked fennekin, which has a type advantage over … well, Hari-san, but also the rest of Manon’s team.

She gets her ears pierced when she gets older. Let me be more specific: She gets her ears really pierced when she gets older. Not only the standard piercings, but also piercings all the way down her cartilage, on both sides. She doesn’t get gauges, though; those are gross, even to her.

Steven:

sexual orientation headcanon

I’m … not actually sure, to be honest. I really don’t have a firm grasp on Steven; sometimes I feel demiromantic demisexual, but then I also think that he recognized that Sycamore was damn fine when they first met and was only half-joking when he asked Alan if Sycamore was seeing anyone. (And even then, the half-joke just came from the fact that Steven is actually in a happy relationship with Wallace, and wouldn’t pursue Sycamore anyway; he was just curious because, damn, Sycamore might be ten years his senior, but he is still attractive in basically every way.) He obviously doesn’t have a bond with Sycamore at the time, which would suggest that he’s not demisexual, but … I don’t have a clear read on his orientation, still.

That said, it’s entirely possible that he’s still demiromantic, and maybe … pansexual? Homosexual? Allosexual without a clear boundary even though he’s never been attracted to women? Something else?? Like I said, I don’t really have a firm idea here, haha. Maybe I’ll just cheat and say that Steven has never felt the need to identify with anything specific because his feelings are what they are, he’s in a happy relationship for now, that’s all that really matters. He is Not Straight™, and that’s all he knows, and that is all he cares to know, and if anyone wants to have a problem with him not being more specific, they are free to take it up with his metagross.

(No one ever takes it up with Metagross.)

mental illness / neurodivergent headcanon

I don’t really see anything here either, haha. ;; Nothing about his behavior really stands out to me, personally, as reminiscent of a mental illness or neurodivergence. 

(Though that said, now I’m laughing a bit, because when Alan sends out Lizardon to fight the Primal Legendaries in TSME 3, Steven expresses exasperation at how Alan went and just did that without giving any warning, because it’s reckless and dangerous and why can’t Alan at least communicate these plans or ask for help instead of just doing everything by himself, and I just—okay, well, we can’t all be neurotypical, Steven. =P)

3 random headcanons

His relationship with Wallace is straight up childhood best friends to lovers. Wallace was pretty much the only friend he had growing up (because Wallace only ever treated him like Steven, versus treating him like the heir to Devon Corporation), and as such they have a level of emotional intimacy that is nigh unparalleled. That said, they also have a level of comfort with each other that can lead to things like—well, like this. (They really do love each other, but sometimes Steven drives Wallace a little nuts and Wallace is not afraid to let him know.)

 Although he does genuinely love steel-types (and rock-types as well) due to his fondness for precious stones and rocks and the like, part of the reason why he chose to specialize in those types as a child is because he has an allergy to various pokémon dander. The severity of the allergy depends on the pokémon, and to be honest he’s not even entirely sure he knows all of the pokémon he’s allergic to, but when it comes to pokémon with fur, there is a definite risk that if he spends time around them / comes in contact with their dander, he will start to get hives, and might even have some trouble breathing. (This is also part of why he very often wears long sleeves; it creates less risk for him to come in contact with pokémon dander while out and about, and therefore less risk for his allergy to trigger, just in case.) Such an allergy can be treated, of course, but it can also make training difficult (not to mention emotionally painful, if he couldn’t even pet his own pokémon without hives breaking out), so he sticks to pokémon without fur, which thankfully, steel-types and rock-types have plenty of.

He is gorgeous, and he is a fantastic dancer, but he cannot sing for anything. It is said that children have been moved to tears by his singing, and trust me, those are not tears of joy. Never invite him to karaoke night. There will be much regret.

Sycamore:

sexual orientation headcanon

He’s gay. Like, 100% into men only. Although he has always been a rather charming person and finds it easy to charm women (something he often does unintentionally—he can’t help it, he’s just charming by nature!), when it comes to romantic or sexual interest he has only ever been attracted in men. He realized this about himself in his early teen years, and has readily embraced it ever since.

mental illness / neurodivergent headcanon

Sycamore has struggled with chronic depression for pretty much his entire life, the severity of which varies depending on where he is in his life at the time (so like, it was really bad in university, but it’s not nearly as powerful and is much more easily fought in adulthood, when he has his dream job and a happy family). He also has experience with an anxiety disorder, as well as that fun cycle of “I’m too depressed to get up and go to class, but now I’m anxious about failing my classes, and the potential for failure worsens my depression, and my worsened depression increases my chances of failing, which then heightens my anxiety, and …” And so on and so forth. That was a monster to deal with in university, let me tell you. (Fortunately, he wasn’t alone. As much as Fulbert might have grumbled, he did help Sycamore where he could. There’s a reason they remained friends after university, and the fact that Fulbert not only used tough love such as flipping Sycamore’s mattress to get him out of bed in dire circumstances, but also helped Sycamore complete some of his coursework on top of the work Fulbert had to do for his own program, is part of it.)

3 random headcanons

He doesn’t drink very often, but he is the lightest of lightweights when he does. He really only ever drinks wine when he does drink alcohol, but it only takes about two glasses (if that) before he is slap-happy drunk. One time he and Meyer had some wine with dinner (while at home), and that was the first time Meyer had ever seen Sycamore drink, and it was not very long before Sycamore decided that it was time to enact some Risky Business. It was a good night.

He really likes cereal. Like, a lot. Not even just a specific kind of cereal, but all kinds of cereal (well, all kinds of cereal that you eat with milk and a spoon in a baseball helmet bowl, anyway—oatmeal is not really his thing). He will eat it for any meal or snack of the day, and sometimes all of them if he can get away with it and doesn’t have a small child he needs to set an example for. He just … really enjoys cereal, okay.

As notorious as he is for bad fashion, one of his favorite parts of taking Alan in when Alan was five was buying him all kinds of cute little kid clothes and merchandise and things. (I mean, he loves pretty much every aspect of (unofficially) adopting that boy, but you know.) In his eyes, pretty much every article of clothing and accessory available for purchase was absolutely adorable, to the point where he could hardly stand it at times. Like, for instance, one of the shirts Sycamore bought him had a rockruff rolling around on the front, with the words “Rock ‘n’ Roll!” Another one had a cubchoo on it and said “Chill Out!” He bought Alan light-up shoes, and also a plush komala backpack where the actual backpack part of it was the log, which unzipped at the top (the komala was purely a plush). For the orange theme day of Alan’s first Festival de la Vie (when he was still five) he got him a charizard hoodie that had wings on the back, spikes on the head to resemble charizard, and sleeves that ended in clawed gloves (with little holes on the bottoms of the sleeves so Alan could stick his hands through). It also had a detachable flame tail. Alan wore it for weeks and Sycamore probably has about a hundred pictures. But really, though, Sycamore just found all the little kid fashion to be so cute and would spontaneously buy shirts or what have you for Alan for the sole reason that he thought they were cute, and it was honestly one of his favorite things to do. He frickin’ loved it.(Also, I haven’t decided if Kalos has a Halloween equivalent yet, but if they do, imagine that when Alan was five or six, Sycamore decided on a werewolf costume for him, based on rockruff. And because it’s always fun for the parents to dress up to take the kids trick-or-treating too, he dressed up as a werewolf based on lycanroc. PAPA (WERE)WOLF WITH LITTLE (WERE)WOLF PUPPER. ADORABLE. Fulbert threatened to call CPS but Sycamore felt it was #WORTH IT.)

[the-yunhaneul]

OOC WEEK: DAY FIVE

Favourite band(s): SHINee, Blackpink, Red Velvet (kpop trash tbh like don’t judge me), Hurts, Seafret, Sleeping at Last, Head and the Heart etc.

Favourite song(s): Jonghyun - White T-Shirt (literally omg my boy I canny deal with it), SHINee - Married to the Music (never forget how great this song is like yes boys slaayyy), Blackpink - Whistle, Hurts - Some Kind of Heaven, Head and the Heart - Another Story etc.

Favourite book(s): Oh boy, this is gonna be a long one. Prince of Shadows - Rachel Cain (an awesome retelling of Romeo and Juliet through the eyes of Benvolio, it gives such great insight into the Montagues and Capulets and really fleshes out the characters, it made me love Mercutio about a billion times more, my sweet babe). The Night Circus - Erin Morgenstern (just a really beautifully written book with such detail and imagination, set in a circus where two real magic users battle against each other by creating attractions). The Forbidden Game - L.J.Smith (I love a lot of L.J.Smith’s work but this one in particular was immense tbh, I can’t really explain much without huge spoilers but if you get the chance to read it you should, it’s three stories in one but all about the same people and it’s just a great read). The Grimm Legacy - Polly Shulman (an awesome story about a girl who ends up working at a library that lends out objects rather than books, and there’s basically a secret department where objects from fairy tales said to be myths are kept and as you can imagine that comes with a great deal of trouble). Splintered - A.G.Howard (based on Alice in Wonderland it’s a much darker story about one of Alice’s ancestors in the modern world, it’s really awesome and tbh I’m in love with the new Mad Hatter, he’s like... beaut, real book crush for sure). Seraphina - Rachel Hartman (omg so this is just such a great book, first in the series and I haven’t read the other’s yet, basically set in a world where dragons can shift to look like humans and live among them and there’s this sort of treaty stopping the two rival species from hurting each other but it’s all very fragile and it’s just such a great book and all the dragon canons are SO GREAT). Wildthorn - Jane Eagland (it’s about a girl who basically ends up in a mental institute in Victorian England despite the fact that she’s not mental, there’s awesome flashbacks into her childhood as she tries to figure out why she’s actually there and *spoiler* there’s a wonderful lesbian romance). The God of Small Things - Arundhati Roy (it’s got some pretty intense themes in this book so I’d be cautious reading it, some parts literally made me feel a bit sick but that’s sort of the idea, it’s still really beautifully written and it’s sort of about a girl returning to India and her old family home and reflecting back on things that happened in her past that she didn’t understand at the time? The really interesting thing is the flashbacks when you see things through her and her twin’s eyes as children and it’s sort of this horrible thing where as a reader you know what’s going on and you understand situations that they so clearly don’t... but it’s a lot about her realising that too, that things happened when she was a child that she didn’t understand until later and sort of the consequences of not understanding things?? Basically it’s really intense but great). Jackson Pearce’s Fairy Tale Re-Tellings (e.g. Sisters Red, Sweetly, Fathomless. Basically really cool books that take old fairy tales and switch them up, plus also really awesome there’s subtle connections between all of them which I got mainly through Sweetly & Fathomless. I read them in the order I listed though cause that’s the order they were written, and Sisters Red is a great book to start with anyway, it’s basically a re-telling of Little Red Riding Hood about two sisters- it’s also written a chapter at a time in their POV- who fight/hunt werewolves).

Favourite quote: “Harold, you have forced me to do something I really didn’t want to do... My diet is ruined and I hope you’re happy.” - Fairy Godmother, Shrek 2. (Ok but for real I can’t think of just one favourite quote but the Shrek films always crack me up)

Favourite movie(s): Oh boy, another long one. LOTR series, extended editions, of course, because they’re just generally great movies and I love them so much, won’t even lie I reckon LOTR holds a higher priority in my heart than HP, I just literally can’t fault them. I love Disney films, literally so much. the animated ones in particular and tbh I could probably say that either Mulan or Pocahontas are my faves. Bleach: Fade to Black, cause the whole movie is basically an honour to my OTP of the series and it’s all I ever needed/wanted out of the series but never really got... canonly, at least. Honestly, I could go on forever but to be quick one of my favourite movies of all time is Cloud Atlas. If you haven’t seen/read Cloud Atlas then it’s a story broken down into multiple smaller narrations and time periods, though the great thing about it is all these seemingly random people and places are all connected and you realise that as you go along. It’s got a really great narration, rather than telling one story middle to end and then starting the next it switches between all of them, giving it a really nice pace and also allowing clues and connections to build up more steadily. I won’t lie, at times it’s tragically sad but I think the message of the whole film is sort of beautiful, the whole idea really is that people are all connected to each other through time and over distance so you should live your life with that in mind, trying to make the differences you can for all the people you may help in the future. It’s basically a beautiful film with an amazing cast (Ben Whishaw is the sweetest, prettiest bean in it tbh I canny deal) and I would recommend anyone to watch it.

Favourite tv shows: Doctor Who, Teen Wolf, The 100, The Magicians, Great British Bake Off, Shadowhunters, Sense8, Stranger Things, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Game of Thrones etc. etc. (I could go on forever tbh).

Are you active in any fandoms right now?: Yes and no? It depends what you mean by active, if you mean do I actively freak out and stan all my fandoms then the answer is yes, always, never stop.

What fandoms were you active in?: The Sherlock Holmes fandom, and I saw ‘were’ because I’m still a fan but I actually, and don’t hate me, really hate the TV series. I just think there are so many faults with it, so many things not quite right about the characters, and to be perfectly honest I think the whole thing about Sherlock Holmes, what made him so damn impressive, was his ability to solve these crimes in a time where they didn’t have all this modern equipment to help him out. He was a genius because he just used his mind, raw talent, in a time where solving crimes was a hell of a lot more difficult. I think setting the series in modern day London takes some of the thrill out of it, he’s still smart but he has all this extra help and all this fancy science to back up and check everything for him. Took the magic out of Sherlock Holmes for me, so I’m holding out for the third movie and then maybe I’ll jump back in (tbh RDJ and JL make a much better Holmes and Watson too, their chemistry is more natural and their relationship in general feels more believable to me).

What tv shows or movies did you watch as a child that were fundamental to how you grew up?: Scooby Doo. Always and forever. It was just great, amazing, that this group of individuals all had different talents, interests and skills but came together to solve mysteries simply because they could and enjoyed it. Also most Disney things, I’m a Disney kid through and through.

What’s one thing you collect(ed): Soft toys aka teddies... still do.

Spotify or youtube?: Youtube.

Netflix or those sweet, sweet illegal downloads?: Netflix though only recently, tbh before that I just didn’t really watch what I couldn’t get on TV, because I’m lazy and cba.

Have you ever been to a concert? If so, whose?: A few years back I went to a Lindsey Stirling concert and it was amazing, she was amazing, I love her.

OTP: Oh boy, where to start, so many tbh. It’d be so much easier just to link you HERE, it’s the OTP tag on my personal blog, there’s way too many to list though also if you check my faves page HERE, there’s a list of my top OTPS and my inventive tags for them.

NOTP: So many from so many fandoms tbh it’s ridiculous. Couldn’t list them all, though if you want to no my top NOTP off the top of my head that’d be IchiHime (Ichigo & Orihime from Bleach) and tbh if I went into details as to why both of them deserved so much better than what they ended up with then I’d rant forever.

Currently watching: Teen Wolf, Class, How to Get Away with Murder, Game of Thrones, Shadowhunters etc. etc.

Currently reading:

Currently listening to: SHINee everything tbh.

If you could make everyone read one book, which would it be?: Prince of Shadows - Rachel Cain, because if you didn’t have a soft spot for Romeo and Juliet before then you will after this book, putting it in Benvolio’s POV was a stroke of genius, there’s a whole new level added to the events when you see them through the eyes of Romeo’s older cousin. Tbh sweet baby Romeo, he’s such a smol bean, don’t hate on my babes ever.