#harmoni loves eren
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canon fun-facts about eren that I think would bleed into his character when in a modern universe:
this mf fights all. the. time! acting like he donât got nothing better to do đ relax and use your words for once, mr.hot hands!
eren jaeger is a certified clean freak!!! heâs constantly scrubbing or washing something. at times, he likes to therapy-clean to calm himself down. also very big on his hygiene and self care, especially when it comes to his hair. heâd make a great househusband with those cleaning skills of hisâŚ
heâs a heavyweight drinker! this man could throw back shot after shot and still be (somewhat) sober, which means he canât blame his wild behavior on the alcohol. that ainât drunkenness, itâs all him!
eren has a creepy-cute pet centipede, because heâs always felt some sort of connection to them. heâd probably get a centipede-inspired tattoo on his arm.
his high pain tolerance is borderline insane. this man could get shot, stabbed, beaten, have the very worst done to him, and heâll still be standingâ ready to retaliate, even! heâs a crazy man, I tell you!
he probably used to habitually bite his hand as a child. now he has these faint marks around his thumb because he preferred hand-chewing over a damn binky đ
this man has been on my mind for unexplainable reasons⌠now Iâm writing headcanons about him? ABEG! SOMEONE SAVE ME FROM THIS EREN PHASE!!!
#the eren brainrot is clearly taking over meâŚ#my love for bitchboy jaeger is officially rekindled đđ#heâs just a crazy little guy#â harmoni rambles#â (.eren)#eren jaeger#eren brainrot#eren headcanons#eren
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AoT men being greedy
the men from AoT were always so eager to please you⌠in their own way.
fem!reader x Erwin, Jean, Reiner, Eren, Levi (aot/snk)
warnings(?): riding, breast groping, choking, legs over shoulders, thigh-loving, tying up, knife-play, in front of a mirror, doggy
NSFW
Erwin (you ride him, breast groping)
He was just so tall and his legs were just so long. You've tried different positions before, but he loves watching you bounce on his cock, scarred and tough hands grabbing your hips so tight; and it just wasnât feasible to be intimate in other positions because of the height difference.
His hands squeezed and cupped your breasts as you hopped on his long cock, moaning as his fingers pinched your nipple and his hips thrusted upwards. Erwin would twist your nipples with his fingers before capturing them between his teeth and sucking and licking and moaning at the feeling of your breasts rubbing against his face.
Jean (missionary, choking)
Jean wants to see your beautiful face twist and scrunch and stretch and moan in response to his painfully-erect cock sliding easily in and out of you, his fingers clasped around your neck.
The pressure of his hand alternated against your chin as he pulled out and snapped back in, pushing and rubbing his hips against your ass to dig in as far as he possible could, feeling him deep inside kissing your jawline as he used one hand to wrap one leg closer to him and keeping the other at home around your neck.
Reiner (your legs over his shoulders, thigh-loving)
Reiner's favorite body part of yours is your thighs. He spends tens of minutes massaging and kissing and running his tough veiny hands up and down the limb.
He loves them so much he balances them right on his broad shoulders, his collarbones acting like landing strips for the incoming weight. "Ugh, fuck, baby, squeeze my head with your strong beautiful thighs. I'd love it, baby, please," he'd pant out, his hands moving to the outside of your thighs and pushing them against his cheeks, moaning as his hips sped up, fucking you harder, his contracting pec and abdominal and arm muscles glistening.
Eren (ties you up, knife-play)
Eren strips you naked and ties your wrists and ankles to the bed, sometimes spreading you out over the bed or sometimes tying your wrists above your head or ankles together. He'd hold his breath as he barely graced the knife against your skin, sometimes following the trail with ghostly kisses, starting at the wrists and moving down, restarting at the ankle and trailing up each leg.
The cool, sharp metal left no mark other than a trail of stimulated nerves, senses instantly tingling up the spine and shivering back down with hot blood. Eventually he'd it from your naval to your throat, just under your chin, the thin skin making the titillating teasing more sensitive. Eren stopped when you begged for him to enter you, to pound into you with almost all his strength because all of it would be way too much.
Levi (in a mirror, doggy)
Levi loves grabbing your hips from behind and thrusting into you mercilessly, each shove inside evoking soft grunts from you. The slapping of sweaty and wet skin echoing harmoniously off the walls. Occasionally followed by an off-key spanking.
The whole view captured in front of the mirror, a clear reflection of your curved back and bulging cleavage and sweaty, tousled hair. Levi's eyes, overtaken by dilated pupils, alternated intensely between where his cock entered you and you in the mirror.
You could tell when he was watching you in the reflection because he picks up his pace, bruises in the outline of his hands forming on your hips as his hips rapidly slap against your plump cheeks.
#erwin x you#erwin x reader#erwin smith smut#erwin smith x reader#jean x you#jean x reader#jean kirstein smut#jean kirstein x reader#reiner x you#reiner braun x reader#reiner braun smut#reiner x reader#eren x you#eren jaeger x reader#eren yeager x reader#eren jeager smut#eren yeager smut#levi ackerman x reader#levi x you#levi ackerman smut#levi x reader#aot#snk#jjkeremika#i have to tag myself bc i wrote it lmao
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things i love about u â Ë・âŕ¨ŕ§Ë
eren x reader
The rain tapped softly against the windows, filling the small apartment with a peaceful rhythm. The world outside was drenched in the gentle drizzle of a late evening, but inside, it was warm and quiet. You and Eren made sure to have days like these, where you could be lazy with him.
Eren lay stretched out on the couch, one arm around you, pulling you closer under the heavy blanket that draped over both of you. The dim light of a nearby lamp cast a soft glow over the room, painting everything in muted shades of amber.
You rested your head on his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart. His warmth seeped into you, wrapping you in a sense of calm that felt almost too perfect. The rain, his heartbeat, the occasional deep breath he tookâit all blended together in a soothing harmony.
Neither of you spoke. You didnât need to. This moment was enoughâjust the two of you, lying together as the rest of the world faded into the background.
But tonight, there was something different about Eren. He was not usually this quiet, he seemed like he was lost in thought. You could feel it in the way his fingers brushed absentmindedly through your hair, the way his hand lingered on your back as though he didnât want to let go.
After a long stretch of silence, his voice finally broke through the soft hum of the rain.
âDo you know how much I love you?â
The question was quiet, almost hesitant, as though he was unsure of how the words would land. You looked up at him, slightly surprised but smiling. Eren wasnât one to talk about his feelings openly. Most of the time, he showed them in small gesturesâin the way heâd pull you closer in his sleep or the way heâd make sure to walk on the side of the sidewalk closest to the street.
But now, his green eyes were focused on you, his expression softer than youâd seen it in a long time.
âSomeone is feeling sappy tonightâ you teased lightly, as you nudged him gently with your elbow.
His lips twitched into a faint smile, but the seriousness in his gaze didnât waver. He held you tighter, as if trying to find the right words. And then, he started to speak again, his voice deep but laced with a tenderness that tugged at your heart.
âI love the way you laugh,â he began. âEven when youâre trying to hide it, like when youâre nervous or embarrassed. It always makes me want to laugh too.â
You blinked, taken off guard by the sudden confession. He wasnât done though.
âI love how you listen to me. Even when Iâm not saying much. You just⌠you get me. You know when I need to talk and when I donât.â
You had always felt that Eren found it hard to open up, and youâd never pushed him. But hearing this now, hearing him tell you how much he valued your quiet understanding, made your chest tighten with emotion.
âAnd I love how you remind me itâs okay to take a break,â he continued, his fingers lightly tracing patterns along your arm. âEven when I feel like I canât stop. You know exactly when to pull me back before I push myself too far.â
His voice was soft, barely more than a whisper now, and you could see the vulnerability in his eyes. This was the side of Eren that very few people ever sawâthe side that was raw and open, the side that didnât always have the answers or the strength.
âAnd most of all,â he said, his voice faltering for a moment before he regained control, âI love how you make everything better, even when I didnât know something was wrong. Just⌠you being here, with me⌠makes everything make sense.â
A lump formed in your throat as you listened to him pour out his heart, each word wrapping around you like a blanket of warmth. Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes, and you couldnât stop the small, shaky breath that escaped you.
You reached up, cupping his cheek gently as you gazed at him, your eyes reflecting the emotions heâd stirred within you. âErenâŚâ you whispered, your voice trembling with all the things you wanted to say but couldnât find the words for.
His hand came up to cover yours, his grip firm yet tender. He leaned down, pressing his forehead against yours, his eyes closing for a brief moment. âIâm not good at saying this kind of stuff,â he admitted with a soft, self-deprecating chuckle. âBut I need you to know⌠youâre everything to me. I donât say it enough, but I love you. More than anything.â
Tears slipped down your cheeks, but they werenât from sadnessâthey were from the overwhelming rush of love you felt for him.
âI love you too,â you whispered, your voice breaking slightly as you spoke. âWith all my heart, Eren.â
He shifted slightly, pulling you even closer, his arms wrapping securely around you as though he never wanted to let go. He pressed a kiss to the top of your head, his lips lingering there for a long moment as he breathed in your scent.
âIâm scared sometimes,â he confessed quietly, his breath warm against your hair. âScared of losing you. Scared of the future. But when Iâm with you⌠it doesnât seem so scary. I know weâll be okay.â
You closed your eyes, nuzzling into his chest as you held onto him tightly. âWe will,â you promised. âIâm not going anywhere.â
Another silence fell between you, but this one was filled with a quiet understanding, a mutual trust that didnât need words to be felt. The rain continued to fall outside, soft and steady, as the two of you lay together, wrapped in each otherâs arms.
Before you drifted off to sleep, you heard Erenâs voice one last time, a soft whisper against your hair.
âIâll never stop loving you. Not even for a second.â
And with that, you both let the world fade away, content in the warmth of each otherâs embrace.
#eren jaeger#eren x reader#aot#shingeki no kyojin#eren aot#eren yeager#eren fanfiction#aot fanfiction
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Youâre Losing Me
Pairings: Eren Jaeger x Reader
Summary: Is love truly enough? Enough to stick around even when you feel yourself slowly dying from it? Can it truly ever be enough?
| Masterlist |
She couldnât breathe. She could feel her lungs pushing against her ribcage while looking for the oxygen they begged to inhale. Her heart throbbed against them, looking for any sign âno matter if it was painfulâ to remind itself that it still lived. That it could still beat.
She didnât think she could blame her heart for the need to make sure it could still beat, not after the words she had just uttered to the reason it had been beating so harmoniously for so long.
âWeâre doneâ
She didnât even know she had said it until she saw his eyes widen in disbelief. She didnât even know sheâd ever truly have the courage to say it out loud.
But she had. It was done.
âWhatâwhy? Y/N, baby, whatâsâI donât understandâ
Hurt. Thatâs all she could see on those blue-green eyes she had always found comfort in. Those who had always looked at her with so much love it had been unbelievable. Those eyes who lately hadnât shined in her direction even once.
She could hear her pulse all throughout her body. She could hear it as loudly as if her heart had been pressed against her ears.
Could she truly say it again? Could she be braveâstrong enough to utter those painful words one more time? Did she really have to?
âWeâre⌠weâre done, Erenâ she weakly whispers.
It pained her, of course. It truly felt as if she was forced to talk after swallowing glass, her throat and mouth filled with blood that stopped her from formulating the words as loud as she shouldâve.
Eren shook his head in disbelief. Everything in his body felt numb. It felt as if someone had thrown a cold bucket of water at him and left him outside during winter with not even a jacket to give him a sense of warmth. This couldnât be happening. He didnât understand why it was happening.
âI donât understandâ he whispers weakly âI donât⌠Y/N, pleaseâŚâ
âThe fact th-that you donât understandâ she sobs weakly, the tears she had fought so hard to contain flowing freely down her cheeks, âIs even mor-more reason why we must bre-break upâ
âDid I do something?â He asks, tears accumulating in his eyes âWhat did I do? I ca-will fix itâ
She wanted him to stop. She didnât want to hear him.
All this time she had been wanting him to fix what he had broken. All this time she had been waiting for him to realize that he was hurting her. That loving him was killing her. All this time she wanted him to give her one reason to stay.
And all this time he hadnât.
âYou canât fix itâ
Her voice once soft and weak became hard and pained. All the hurt she had to endure this last year coming back full force, giving her the strength she needed to save herself from self destructing. The strength she needed to not give in.
âItâs too late to fix itâ she finalizes âIâve been waiting all this year for you to fix it. Iâm done waitingâ
âY/Nââ
âDo you know how hard it was to watch you push everyone, including me, away?â She sobs âHow hard it was to watch you shamelessly flirt with every girl that looked your way while I was right there at your side waiting for you to notice me? How hard it was to see you shrug off our relationship, our friendship, as if it was nothing?â
Erenâs eyes widen even more, if possible. Had he truly been doing that? He knew he had change, he knew he had closed off on his friends after his parents passing, but they had never once left his side. She had never left his side. No matter how hard he pushed. Or how cruel he was.
And then last year he had gotten his shit together. She had helped him with that. He had pushed all his pain onto something productive and had become the universityâs star quarterback.
Is that when it all started? When his dull grief-striking eyes and neutral face had become the bad boy mysterious persona every girl wanted to date and every boy wanted to be. Was it then when he decided to play along to all of it just to not feel alone, to feel worthy, forgetting what he truly had always had by his side?
Had it really come to this? Had he really taken for granted what he had by believing he always would have it?
âWeâI wouldâve stayed with you through anythingâ she continues âI stayed through everything. No matter how bad it was. But⌠Iâm out of reasons to stayâ
âI love youâ
Three words. Three words he had never once uttered in that year. Three words she had remembered herself those 365 days to keep fighting.
Those three words had already lost its meaning.
âLoving isnât enough anymoreâ
And she turned around going for the door. He scrambled out of the bed he had been sitting while looking up at her as fast as he could.
She couldnât leave. If she left it became real. If she left he wouldnât be able to fix what he had broken.
Had he really broken the best thing that had happened to him? The one thing in his life that still gave him hope?
He tried to grasp her hand, to stop her from leaving, but she had already opened the door and crossed it. His hand met the wooden frame as her body started making her way through the hallway, away from his dorm.
How had it come to this?
It had been a year after Erenâs parents death through a tragic car accident. A year since Zeke, Erenâs older half-brother, had taken his custody. It had been a hard year. Erenâs eyes had lost its incomparable spark and his smile had ceased to exist.
Mikasa, Armin and Y/N, his closets friends since childhood, along with the rest of their gang had done everything they could to help him. Even when he snapped at them, spitting cruel words that fed into their insecurities, they never left his side. He pushed and pushed with all his might, anything to keep them away in fear of ever feeling the tightness in his chest of losing someone he loved again. But they pushed back. All of them. Never once giving in.
They knew he was hurting. They knew it. And they would never leave his side while he did so.
So they stuck around no matter how hurt they got along the way. Because it was Eren, and Eren deserved to have people fight for him as hard as he used to fight for them.
Y/N became the best fighter among them.
She would take his cruel malicious words with grace before embracing him against her warmth, letting him let out all his anger and sadness on her. Promising to carry it on her shoulders in hopes of lifting some from his, as small as the portion was.
And day by day, night by night, she stood tall by his side. Never once letting him fall.
He was thankful, even when he didnât voice it. She had giving him something constant, something he could hold onto when the waves that came crashing towards him in hopes of drowning him got to him. She kept her hold steady and unfaltering, keeping him afloat.
So, when had he started taking it for granted?
âEren Jaeger, isnât it?â
He had been waiting outside the Economics classroom for Y/Nâs class to finish so they could go have lunch when the captain of the cheerleading squad Historia was a part of first spoke to him.
It wasnât that people didnât know him around university, they did with him being the quarterback, he just wasnât someone that you would think was easy to approach. So people normally didnât. Not that he minded, he had all he needed with his friends and you by his side.
He nods, coldly.
But she smiled. As brightly as possible, her hazel eyes shining under the hallwayâs lights.
âLast weekâs game was amazing! You were so fast, it seemed nobody could ever come close to catching youâ she giggled.
His cold demeanor melted slightly, not used to compliments from other than his coach and friends. Most people just clapped him on the back as a way to congratulate him, too afraid to say something to him.
He nods again in thanks.
âWe, the cheer girls and the teamâs boys, were thinking of holding a small get-together to celebrate the winâ she continues âWeâd like you to come. We know you donât like those sceneries, as youâve made clear before, but Connie and Jean are going. Reiner and Bertolt tooâ
He stays quiet.
âJust wanted to formally invite you. Hopefully the rest of your teammates going, the ones youâre actually close with, persuades youâ
Before Eren can refuse, the bell rings and the door he was standing beside bursts open. Students cross it without even batting an eye.
Erenâs eyes soften once he catches a glance of you and the bright sincere smile you send his way when you see him. All under the cheerleadingâs watchful curious gaze.
âRenâ you kissed his cheek before looking at the girl he was talking to, âChloe! Hi! I havenât seen you in a while, still battling with Calculus?â
The blonde girl, Chloe, groans, âUgh, Mr. Ackerman is still the worstâ
Both girls share a laugh under Erenâs curious gaze. Did they known each other? For the laugh you just shared and the familiarity in which you talked with one another he guessed you did. How? He guessed that through a class since he hadnât ever seen you hang out with other girls that werenât Mikasa, Sasha, Historia or Ymir.
âYou know each other?â
His voice is cold and dull, but his gaze on you is soft. So soft that Chloe isnât sure she imagined it. She didnât know he could have a gaze as soft as that with the cold lifeless way he glared at everything around him.
And yet, Y/N smiled as if he had just told her she was the most beautiful girl to ever exist.
âWe do! We met during Ackermanâs Calculus class last semesterâ
âThis little genius became our teacherâs favorite while I am stuck with him once moreâ the blonde beauty groaned.
âYouâll get it this time. I can help youâ
Thatâs something he had always loved about you. The selfless way you tried to help everyone in every little way you could.
âYouâre an angel, Y/Nâ she smiles âHow do you two know each other?â
Y/Nâs smile brightened if possible, âThis is my adorable boyfriend that Iâve told you aboutâ
Chloeâs eyes widen in disbelief, âEren Jaeger is the all-loving charismatic too-good-to-be-true childhood best friend told lover youâve told me about?â
You laughed before nodding making Chloeâs eyes widen even more.
For Y/N, Chloeâs face was funny and innocent. Eren, on the other hand, understood the gleam of uncertainty in the blondeâs eyes. It was obvious she was trying to comprehend how the perfect boyfriend you had describe was the universityâs feared lifeless bad boy.
It made him angry to feel as if he wasnât worthy of you, he already thought so himself so seeing someone else think that made his blood boil.
He wanted to prove to everyone and to himself that he was worth it, that he could be worthy of you. So he did the one thing that condemned you both without even knowing it.
âWhenâs the party?â
The party had been eventful and unexpected. None of their friends had expected Eren and neither had they expected the way he had behaved that night. He had drank and talked, and even though he hadnât laughed or smiled he had become this unapproachable guy that now everyone wanted to approach.
His aura was intoxicating. And like a moth to the flame, everyone would fly towards him as if he was holding the matches.
Mikasa, Armin and Y/N had watch with uncertainty the amount of attention Eren was receiving. But moreover, the way he seemed to be bathing in it. It was a weird sight. Eren had never been one to want attention, he always got it without looking for it though. But he had never seek it.
So why was he seeking and bathing in it now?
âWellâŚâ started Armin âAt least he seems okayâ
Y/N nodded a little uncertain, but Mikasa frowned.
âI donât like thisâ she muttered âFeels like the start of a disasterâ
âDonât frown, Mikaâ Y/N said lovingly, âMaybe this is what he needs to open up more. Heâs been getting better, so maybe⌠maybe this is his way of trying to go back to who he isâ
âI donât knowâ
âWe have to trust himâ Armin added, âItâs not like heâs doing anything bad anyway, heâs just making friendsâ
Mikasaâs frown deepened but she let herself be guided out of the living room towards the kitchen by her two closest friends. She had a bad feeling about all of this, she just hoped she was wrong.
But they had all come to know a long time ago that Mikasaâs instincts were never wrong. Especially concerning Eren.
The first time they realize that something was wrong was during their monthly movie night between the Scouts, as they like to call themselves since their camp days where all they met and became friends. It was that night that Eren first truly disappointed them.
[ Canât make it. Party at Flochâs. Srry ]
Thatâs all his text to the group chat had said. Not only had he totally blown them off on their tradition, but he hadnât even bother to invite them. It was maddening. Especially since Connie and Jean were also invited to said party and refused to go because of their plans.
It weirded them all out. If they had invited Reiner and Bertolt and they cancelled they couldâve understood, they were close but not that close.
It had always been Armin, Mikasa, Eren and Y/N until camp. And then it had become Armin, Mikasa, Eren, Y/N, Jean, Connie, and Sasha. More had been added along the way, but the seven of them were as tight as possible. Nothing could ever come in their way, so why did it suddenly feel like something could?
They spent their movie night in an uncomfortable silence. Not even Jean, who always took every opportunity he could to insult Eren, said something.
And then one movie night missed became two and three until they just stopped expecting him to come.
At university, Eren barely found them to spend time with them during his breaks or lunch as they were used to. Instead they were forced to look for him all throughout the campus, always finding him surrounded by other team members or cheerleaders.
And even then, Armin and Y/N tried to convince themselves this was just him trying to become socially available once again. No matter how many times Mikasa told them she didnât believe that was the case.
Their disappointment reach its breaking point when Armin received an âSOSâ text from Mikasa asking him to go to their dorm, only to find a dolled up sobbing Y/N on the dark-haired beautyâs embrace. Eren had missed their anniversary date to hang out with Floch. Y/N couldâve probably let it slide if it hadnât been for the any times he had already cancelled âand stood her upâ before.
That was the last straw for Armin.
He had seen you, Y/N, his childhood best friend give your all to the blue-green-eyed boy. Since the moment you both had met Eren and Mikasa, you had always given all you could give to Eren. Especially the last couple of years when he had started to become unstable. You had never given in. Never had you left him alone, no matter how many reason youâd had.
So what gave him the right to make you cry?
Armin never again excused his behavior after that night. Him and Mikasa always standing beside you as you had to endure the attention from girls Eren was receiving, especially when he seemed to enjoy it so much. More than once had they offered to give him a peace of their minds, begged you really, but you had refused. You didnât know what was going on through his head but you had faith in him. Faith that he would figure it out and fix it, as he had always done before.
You had waited for the whole year.
Your last straw came on your birthday. Just a month after Christmas, which Eren failed to celebrate with the Scouts again in their traditional small gathering on the 25th.
Your friends had all prepared you a surprise party, which they had planned through a secret group chat in which Eren had failed to text back every time. The party was set to start at 10 oâclock at night at Arminâs house, giving you enough time to spend the morning as you always did with your family and the rest of the day with Eren, as they all had been used to since you two started dating exactly five years ago when both of you were fifteen. It was perfect, honestly, youâd be too distracted with the brunette boy to find suspicious why they all had been MIA.
Except Eren didnât show up at your doorstep. He hadnât even called or texted.
Which meant you spent the rest of the day before the party locked in your room crying silently while you wondered why.
Only to find out through Flochâs instagram story he was at his house, with an unknown girl under his arm.
By the time Mikasa had gone to pick you up at your childhood home, you were asleep on your bed with swollen eyes and dry tear and mascara stains on your cheeks. She had gasped at the sight, not understanding what had happened. At least until she saw what was on the phone âwhich was still unblockedâ you held softly in your grasp.
And the dark-haired beauty saw red.
She had texted Armin and soon the party had moved to your living room, and instead of a party they turned it into a movie night. They decorated the place and made a blanket fort, Annie even going as far as going to buy some fairy lights to put all over the place.
By the time Sasha went to wake you up and helped you get ready, all of them hid awaiting your arrival.
It had helped heal your broken heart a little.
Still you couldnât ignore what had been going on for long enough anymore. You had finally ran out of excuses.
So the next week when Armin went to the dorm you and Mikasa shared, you knew. And they knew you knew. So they held you, all day and night, trying to give you the strength youâd need to do what was right for you.
And you did.
And thatâs how youâd both gotten to this stage of your story. As painful as getting there had been.
Eren fell to the floor. His knees had given out. He had been frozen on his spot, watching the door intently as if that would somehow make you come back. He thought he had been doing the right thing, he thought he had finally start becoming someone worthy of you. Someone that deserved to be loved by someone as good as you.
He was sobbing. He didnât even know when he had started, but his body shook with the force of each sob.
He didnât know what to do. How could he keep going without your unwavering presence beside him giving him the strength he needed to fight back against the cruel world they lived in?
Thatâs how Armin found him when he came back from his classes. Hugging his knees to his chest on the floor as he sobbed his heart out.
âSo she actually did it, huh?â
His teary gaze found his best friendâs stone cold one.
âI d-donât⌠Ar-Armin, I don-donât unders-understandâ
âYou donât understand?â He scoffed, âYou missed every single movie night weâve had for a year. Youâve missed every date you guys planned. You missed your anniversary, Christmas, the New Year. And you donât understand?â
Eren stares, dumbfounded. Had he truly missed all that? He couldnât even remember properly at this moment.
âYou even missed her birthdayâ Armin continued, âIt was last Friday, FYIâ
Another sob wrecks through his body. Your birthday, he had missed your birthday. He didnât even remember the last time he had ever missed one and now he had completely forgotten about it.
What was wrong with him?
âI truly donât know what was going through your head all this year. Nor why you did every single thing you didâ Armin sighed âIâm just glad she finally had the courage to walk away. You were killing her. Everytime you flirted with another girl, every time you blew her off, you were killing her. Iâm glad she finally walked awayâ
Eren had no idea something could hurt this much after his parentsâ passing. But it truly hurt more to know he had lost the person he loved the most when she still was at armâs length.
Especially when this time there was nothing nor no one else to blame but himself. He had pushed you too far this time and you werenât coming back.
He had lost you.
#eren yaeger aot#eren yeager x oc#eren jaeger x y/n#eren jaeger x oc#eren yeager x reader#eren jaeger x reader#eren aot#eren x reader#erenjaeger#eren yeager#eren jaeger x femreader#attackontitan#attack on titan#mikasa aot#mikasa ackerman#armin arlert#Spotify
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đđđ đđĄđđŤđđđđđŤđŹ đŚđŽđŹđ˘đ đđđŹđđ đ§
characters: Eren jager, Mikasa Ackerman, Armin Arlert, Jean Kirschtein, Connie Springer, Sasha Braus, Marco Bodt
warnings: modern au? just playlists specially curated by me based off of my perceptions of each character and what I think they'd enjoy music wise :)))
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Is most definitely into dark indie, slow rap and r&b with some lowkey electronic
BIG TIME THE WEEKND ENTHUSIAST. Loves himself some Chase Atlantic too.
a lot of people would assume Eren listens to hardcore rock or even heavy hitting rap, which he isn't opposed to
but considering Eren's outward life, whether it be family issues or whatever, I imagine that he would prefer his music to be more laid back and steady
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Mikasa we all know is just a lil emo and her music taste is a slight reflection of that. Indie rock, alternative, folk rock all within her realm.
Now as soft spoken and gentle as this girl is, definitely wouldn't put it past her to listen to heavy metal just casually on a walk
She is a huge fan of Lana Del Ray, Mitski, Clairo, TV Girl, and Cigarettes After Sex
LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE. LANA DEL RAY. is def one of Mika's playlist names.
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Is a huge alt pop, synth indie, post-punk lover
Armin's taste in music is honestly what would be used to score any and all great coming of age films
LOVES The Wallows, Bleachers, OneRepublic, and Coldplay
He is definitely the person you hand the aux to on a summer roadtrip
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Jean's music taste is probably the most diverse compared to everyone else's
His genre bases being alt hiphop and r&b, indie rock, and trap soul
His faves being Cigarettes After Sex, Brent Faiyaz, and The Neighbourhood
This is the man you want to go on a late night drive with through the city
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Connie is literally 2010s rap and hiphop personified
his fave genres being alt hiphop, r&b, west coast rap/hiphop
Connie is a big time Tyler the Creator fan, loves himself some J. Cole and SZA
Connie is the person you hand aux to at any and all parties, guaranteed satisfaction with him on music
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Sasha is who you go to if you want to feel like you're a teen girl alone in your room with a hair brush in hand pretending its a microphone
her genres being alt pop, indie, Kpop, electro pop, and art pop
she was there for the resurgence of bands in the 2010s, and was a hardcore stan of all of them (5SOS, 1D, The Vamps, Little Mix, Fifth Harmony etc.)
she definitely still holds onto the hope of a 1D reunion
her faves being Olivia Rodrigo, Lorde, Harry Styles, Gracie Abrams, Taylor Swift
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Marco is a softie and it reflects in what he listens to
His main genres been electric r&b, alt pop, and indie
Marco's favorite artists would be: BROCKHAMPTON, Khalid, Daniel Caesar, and Omar Apollo
Marco has definitely gone to multiple concerts of his faves and collects their vinyls
#Spotify#savkirschtein#aot x reader#aot fluff#aot headcanons#aot imagines#shingeki no kyojin#eren jaeger#mikasa ackerman#armin arlert#jean kirstein#jean kirschtein#connie springer#sasha braus#marco bodt
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He Eats His Hot Roommate Out!! ~ Eren Jaeger x Reader
. . . His hands flex on you. And then he hesitates, with his lips so close to your thighs the heat of his breath prickles your skin.
âMmm⌠ah! Oh I love that oh my god - !â
You push your lips together, but the abrupt sass comes out of you anyway on the tails of the crappy video dialogue.
âDonât tell me youâve actually never eaten Ďussy before,â you say. You canât even try not to sound insulting. . . .
part one (scummy eren) || part two (scummy reader)
reader: POV second person, AFAB , nongendered pronouns ⥠content: modern AU, sIutty roommates, pοrn, oraI (female recieving), fingering, spitting, suggestively dom reader undertones, reader body worship ⥠wordcount: ~3.9k ⥠ao3 link ⥠recommended mood playlist: red velvet cake
É´ęąę°á´Ą á´á´
É´ÉŞ. I have a very strict adult-only interaction policy. Ageless, blank, and clearly minor-run blogs that interact will be blocked. If you have questions about what that means, please read the byf in my pinned post.
Author's note: To clarify, this is not meant to be a continuance of part 1. It's more just, same situation (watching pÎżrn while getting head) but different receiver. It still ended up being nicer than how I planned it...
âOh â mm â mmhmm âŚâ
Youâve rationalized it to yourself â the neighbors are to blame.
Because the neighbors, the neighbors who you and your own roommate Eren Jaeger have only met in passing, the tall man with a scruffy chin and narrow nose, the woman with eyes and arms of steel, the neighbors who offer polite smiles and morning greetings at the elevators, have extremely loud sex. Seemingly, they have it whenever they want. Monday mornings, the groans rumbling in harmony with your alarm; Thursday nights while your fingers hover over your phone and text your friends that itâs fucking happening again; Saturday afternoons, on those infrequent moments where you and Eren happen to both be in the apartment for a late lunch. Youâve started to talk about it more openly, a conversation topic that was too awkward to even acknowledge the first few months.
âHave you ever knocked on the ceiling?â Eren asked one day, his voice sharp with irritation as he rummaged through the cupboard. You found it suddenly hard to make eye contact with him when he turned around. Your face felt warm.
âIâve tried.â
âSame.â He slammed the cupboard shut, and it enunciated the weighty, dull knocks of the bed shifting across the upstairs floor. It always seemed to rumble through the entire apartment, small as it was. âIâm gonna email the landlord.â
You wiped your fingers. âYou think it would make things weird?â
From the way Eren looked at you, he didnât quite understand what you meant. You started to speak, interrupting the break of air in his voice, hastening to clarify. âI mean,â you said, âcould you ask to make a complaint anonymously?â
Eren still frowned, a cloudy furrow over his eyes. âDo you know them?â He pointed limply to the innocent ceiling.
âNo, besides saying hey sometimes. I just wouldnât want things to be awkward around the building.â
âItâs not awkward now?â Eren mumbled. But the conversation died from there. And now whenever thereâs a scoffed comment about it, the flush still slightly warm on your cheeks, he hasnât brought up the landlord again. He might have complained back then. After all, things upstairs had calmed down for a month or so, but it didnât last. You text each other sometimes when itâs really bad, little eye rolls, almost the same way you text other friends about it. But by and far the shared experience hasnât deepened the friendship past this living arrangement with a convenient split rent and compatible enough personalities.
Heâs good with sharing laundry pods and paper towels as communal resources. He mostly keeps to himself. Heâs nice enough. Heâs nice-looking too. So sure â the subject matter made you flush perhaps specifically because of it being him. Maybe thatâs why you overthink every word you type out when the upstairs symphony begins.
Eren texted you the other day, and you read the screen of gleaming chat history when you opened the notification.
From you, two weeks ago: ânp! :)â from the end of a brief conversation about the water bill.
Three days ago, heâd texted, âAre you here?â Youâd responded a few hours later, apologizing for missing the message. Heâd been locked out but you were on the way back by then.
And then at the bottom came a text from Eren that seemed some kind of shift from the aloof cordiality of this roommate-relationship.
âDo you have good speakers?â
âI have Bluetooth speakers that can get pretty loud. Why?â you wrote back after a pause.
âTalked to my friend Armin.â
A new message. âHe gave me a good idea.â
âAboutâŚâ You typed some words, deleted them, and decided on leaving the ellipses. You sent the text.
âThe upstairs problem.â
âOh,â you heard yourself say out loud. Your fingers tensed in cramped grip around the phone. Was Eren too uncomfortable with the topic to text about it clearly â the same way you were so careful not to use specific words when you talked with him about it compared to other friends? Was he trying to be silly, joke, in a way that you didnât understand, by being ominous? Did he just think that was all that needed to be said? âIâm in,â you wrote back at last.
Which is why itâs all because of the upstairs neighbors. The upstairs neighbors are why youâre sitting in the common space, knees curled into the back of the couch, with pÎżrn stuttering and buffering from Erenâs laptop and moaning out of your speakers. Theyâre resting on the top of the bookshelf, pointing towards the ceiling.
âOh â yeah â yeah â yeah!â
And Erenâs in the room, too. Heâs half-crouching over his laptop on the floor, checking the Bluetooth connection and hovering his mouse over suggested videos in the sidebar, as if he hasnât committed to this being the right one.
Itâs easier to stare at the screen just over his shoulder than it is to study the shadow and curve of the back of his neck. Itâs easier to follow the motion of jerking hips and trembling lips than the strands of hair looped lazily in a bun thatâs threatening to fall out if he moves his head too quickly. You squint, trying to read out the titles of the gallery of videos heâs scrolling down, because youâd be rather caught looking at those than looking at him when he turns around.
Amazing big tit hotties enjoy face sitting.
She canât stop cheating with the mailman!
Top ten vintage cumshots HD.
âAh, ah, ah â fuck!â
Eren clicks another video, and the sound hiccups for a moment.
âThink itâs loud enough?â Eren asks as the video loads. He turns his head just slightly, the tip of his nose casting a shadow. You blink, meeting his eyes involuntarily. His gaze is clear. Neutral.
You wonder what your expression is, and straighten a leg off the couch in an attempt to casually stretch.
âSure,â you say, and clear your throat. âBet they can hear that.â
âGuess we, uh,â Eren says, and he turns his head back to the screen. âWait.â
âWait for them to stomp on floor, or something?â
âYeah, something like that,â Eren says. His voice has a hesitation at the end, as if he was about to say more.
Neither of you move, neither of you continue speaking. You clear your throat again. Your heart begins to beat heavier through you, raising to your ears. The couple on screen is chiming nasally to each other.
âOh yeah? Oh yeah?â
âSo, this is what you like to watch?â you hear yourself ask, and the words taste clumsy on your tongue. It feels like you spoke too fast.
Eren makes a short laughing sound. âUm,â he says, and it carries a sense of embarrassment â but a linger at the end, lips pressed together as if something could burst out. âWhat, are you judging?â
You hadnât even really registered what was on the laptop. You shift, your one knee still bent into the back of the couch, the other beginning to tense as you roll your foot into the floor. You peer past him. âI need your warm cum! He fucks me passionately!â is the title.
The man on the screen is letting out a long, rasping moan. The woman kneeling on the mattress has her lips turned in a pinched, coy smile, and her tongue spills out of her open mouth on her way up his cock. The camera zooms in on her swirling her tongue around his tip and flattening into long, slow strokes as she moves back down.
âOh,â he groans, and she chokes a breath in response.
The sound is so obscene, so lusty. You watch as the camera tracks her fingers moving down to touch herself, rubbing between her legs.
You look at Eren again, eyes flicking down to his clean, trimmed fingernails for a moment. âNot judging,â you say. You hear yourself fall in the same slow, lingering tone, and you almost want to grin, wild, for a moment. âI can certainly see why thatâs what you might want.â
Itâs so, so personal, to make any sort of comment about it. But this sort of judgment feels especially personal â because it is a judgment, despite your demure disclaimer. Of course itâs personal to imply, you like to watch a dick get slobbered on, because you want your dick sucked and slobbered on.
Too personal for roommates.
Eren raises his eyebrows. In the space before he responds, you begin to feel your heart again, louder than the audio from the speakers, in a wild panic. âAnd what do you want?â
You look back at the screen and hesitate. The adrenaline is leaving your body aching. You adjust your seat again, bringing the other foot down to the floor and resting your elbows on your knees to lean forward. Closer. You squint at the screen.
But Eren turns too, putting his finger in a delicate pose on the mousepad again. He drags the arrow across the red progress bar to fast-forward through the video. The audio skips as he finds a satisfactory playing point, and itâs suddenly the man knelt with his fingers disappeared between her legs. âAh, ahh â yeah, fuck, touch me,â cuts immediately from the speakers as her eyelids lower, makeup smeared across the bridge of her nose and face visibly flushed. Her hips rock, and she moans louder and louder.
Itâs hard to look at it clinically, the way you should be looking at this whole situation. It does make sense, what his friend suggested, to blast sounds of pÎżrn towards the ceiling. So you should have put it on and left the room with a half-smile. You shouldnât be feeling hot between your legs, the tension thick in the air.
âIs that more like what youâd want?â Eren asks.
Heâs turned back to you, eye narrowed in an even gaze over the black curl of his hoodie. Your mouth is open, which you only realize when you close it. Your tongue is a little dry. You twist your lips.
âMaybe,â you say at last, with a suggestive dance through the syllables. âIf itâs, you know. Good.â
Erenâs turning away from the laptop. Heâs lowering a leg, muscular when you stare at it up close now, for the first time. You sit up and draw your elbows back, as he comes forward, between your legs already spread against the sofa. You part your lips, eyes flickering again, down to the hands reaching to frame your knees, up to his eyes. Your hips are sinking into the couch, sinking into his gaze, the color growing darker as his lids sink.
And he kisses you, in a way roommates shouldnât kiss â though roommates shouldnât kiss at all. Your hands forget this, and youâre grabbing at him, his hand at your waist. Eren is strong as he looks, now that youâre studying and learning these details. You want to collapse into him, your mouth trembling, the cacophony of pÎżrn wailing in your ears. Erenâs lips are warm, the ministrations of the kiss strong. Your head spins when it breaks.
Heâs looking at you, dull vision in the low light. Something physically shudders in you.
âThink you can?â you whisper, your lips so soft without his.
Youâre so far beyond roommates now. Your fingers are trembling, palms aching with the nerves. Erenâs eyelashes are longer than when youâve noticed them as he opens the door to let you in when your arms are full. He has a light dusting of freckles at the apples of his cheeks, and you couldnât have seen them without being this close to his face. Being so close is the only way you could see the way his neck slopes to the branches of his collarbone, the only way to smell the remnants of deodorant, or gel, something that leaves him scented slightly floral, mixed with a hinoki wood musk.
Your nostrils flare and your mouth waters.
Erenâs tongue pushes at his bottom lip as he grins. âCan what? Do it good?â
You raise your eyebrows. Neither of you saying it clearly still. But Eren lets go, your hand moving to follow his down to the couch as he lowers between your legs again.
âMmm.â
His hands dance away to your hips, gripping fingers around the waistband to force their way between your flushing skin and the fabric. When he urges your hips up to roll your clothes down, you realize how tense your thighs have been. When had they started trembling? How long had you been waiting?
You shift your hips forward, sitting at the edge of the couch.
âOooh yeah!â
The man on screen slaps her cunt, and she shrieks again.
Erenâs mouth is parted, with teeth wet and tongue red as he kneels between you. He spreads his hands across your thighs. It gently pushes your muscles in a slight strain and you let out a sound closer to a whimper than a moan. It rises with the speaker sound.
His hands flex on you. And then he hesitates, with his lips so close to your thighs the heat of his breath prickles your skin.
âMmm⌠ah! Oh I love that oh my god - !â
You push your lips together, but the abrupt sass comes out of you anyway on the tails of the crappy video dialogue.
âDonât tell me youâve actually never eaten pussy before,â you say. You canât even try not to sound insulting.
Eren looks up at you. Loose hair, too short to make it all the way to the bun, slips around his forehead, his eyelashes casting dark shadows down his cheeks as you look down at him. Thereâs something rolling in his eyes, something you canât read. Something youâre not familiar enough with him to decipher.
Thereâs no time to think further of it, because when his tongue hits you, itâs hungry. And he is good, fuck, god. He lets his tongue dance, and itâs building a friction in a slow way. Your thighs are tensing again, hard against the grasp of his fingers. You can feel it, each push of his tongue, you can feel the oil of it dripping from you onto his tongue.
Your hips jerk against the couch. The breaths you take are moans, slipping in and out of the laptop sounds. The woman is shrieking now, but the air is coming too heavily out of your lungs to pitch as high as hers. Sheâs throwing her head back in exaggerated ecstasy.
âAh â ah! Fuck!â
âOh,â you say in genuine urgency. You could swear Erenâs smiling into you, a triumph, lips gathered in a kiss across your skin. His tongue moves in circles, a flick up, a pressure that makes your hips squirm.
It feels as if heâs desperate to taste everything, as if he canât have enough of that first flavor. And you let him have it, your breath a melody of sighs, your hips straining into his face. You twist your hips into the couch as the friction dances under your skin. The couch groans, sofa legs skidding slightly as the pressure of your bodies urges it closer to the wall.
The rising heat is agonizing, teasing.
âUse,â you pant, âyour fingers.â
Your command is met immediately as a hand lifts from your thigh, the push of muscle slightly relaxing your leg. Thereâs a break of breath, warm air hitting your sensitive skin. Erenâs middle finger slides into you with ease, bent knuckles on either side pushing into your folds in smooth ripples, pushing at you just slightly. Your hips begin to shift, almost grinding up, and he begins to pull out, curling his finger and just barely pressing. You pulse hot around him.
âFuck â yes,â and itâs you, not the laptop.
Eren looks up with that heavily lidded gaze. He straightens his shoulders, and looks down for a moment. Itâs too fast for you to realize at first, but you suck in a loud gasp when he spits right on your cunt. His eyes flit back up to you, that wet smile breaking in a half-open grin as his hand shifts again, his thumb reaching up to spread his palm across you. It teases you open, exposed, rubbing saliva into you with his thumb.
âMm baby, oh, baby fuckâŚâ
You beat below his touch, slipping wet and hot under his finger. And yet youâre shivering.
âGood?â Eren asks. It should sound snarky, mocking. Of course he knows it feels good. But the eagerness shuddering through his bones is betraying him through the breath cracking from his lips, the way something desperate shines in his eyes as he looks up.
It feels right to cast your gaze down on him, to watch his hands clasping around your body in something like supplication. A flushed face, wide pupils, greet you in response. It suits him like this. Â
âKeep going,â you say thickly.
Eren shifts, and youâre spread between clumsy fingers as he puts his lips back on you with a low moan. He slips another finger in, a stretch, as his tongue flicks up. He begins to move in circles.
âOhmygod yes...!â
That eager heat below your hips is burning harder. Youâre not thinking of it when you grab the back of his head with one hand. Your fingertips dig under tufts of dark hair, a thick strand of elastic threatening to snap under your grip. And your thighs are sore again.
Youâre fucking your hips back into his mouth, thatâs why every physical sensation is so heightened. The heat of his breath, the press and roll of his fingerprints, almost agonizes as every touch spins you closer to an almost static euphoria.
Itâs you again, not the speakers, as the whine rises  â âdonât stop, donât stop, you canât stop.â
You thread Erenâs hair between your fingers. You canât think of how sharply you might be pulling, but your grip just so perfectly cages the back of his head. It lets you coax him, direct where to go. You press, trembling, holding his face in a position that keeps his tongue working right where you want it.
On screen behind him, the woman is doing the same thing. Sheâs moving harder than you, the tendons flexing across her knuckles as she buries the manâs head in her lap. Your fingers tense, Erenâs hair sliding beneath the sweat of your grasp. And your other hand is under your shirt, moving with that same thoughtless instinct to touch yourself, the cool pinch you give your nipple shuddering through your body as it rolls, warm, under your fingers.
âRight there,â you moan. âKeep â fuck ââ
Eren increases his pace. His fingers inside you are pressed to the heat, and they curl, faster and faster. His tongue laps furiously.
Then he breaks away with a gasping breath, and you whine, tracing the back of his head through his hair. The motion inadvertently yanks his loose bun free.
âNo,â you say, in a tone that almost surprises yourself. âDonât stop.â
The dark strands fall wirily to his shoulders, framing a face that turns up to you. His eyes are wild and full with lust. You reach out for Eren again, with a trembling hand that pushes a stray bit of hair off his forehead. He leans down as you do, and kisses the inside of your thigh.
It leaves the patch of skin cool, wet, sticky. He turns his fingers in you and adjusts his kneeling. You lean back, pushing the sofa back against the wall with another knock. Erenâs sitting up, his wrist angled. He leans between your aching, spread thighs. His fingers begin moving faster.
âFuck, fuck! Fuck me right there!â
âHowâs that?â Eren asks, breathless. The heel of his palm is grinding into your clit and your lips purse, a gentle, wordless âoh!â waiting to break. The slender, strong fingers that scoop into you arenât reaching deep anymore, but heâs found one place where the sigh comes free from your lungs.
You pinch yourself again and moan as the heat rushes in tandem with his touch.
âRight there,â you echo the laptop, and your hand falls limp to your lap.
âOkay,â Eren says. And itâs almost a whisper, so soft, so attentive. You reach forward with pleading arms. âOkay, okay,â he says again, in a murmur before your bodies lean together, and your lips meet again.
His tongue slides immediately into your mouth, and the taste of you is cold. This kiss is sloppy, somehow bolder than the first. Youâre missing each otherâs lips and moaning each otherâs names when a kiss lands on a chin, the corner of a mouth. Your hips are shaking, grinding into his hand. The couch fabric chafes against the back of your thighs.
âMake me,â you say, breathy into his mouth, a strand of saliva still a thread connecting you. âEren â make â me â cum â â
And it sounds like heâs whimpering too, when he presses his face into your shoulder and his hand rotates again. He angles back down and pushes in deeper. His other hand turns, fingers braced gingerly at your hips, as his thumb presses and rubs your clit in big, messy circles. It aches deliciously, a delicious, hot aching.
You grab at him, right over his shoulders, grasping at the heavy fabric of his hoodie. His fingers curve harder when you arch your back into him. Itâs building, hurtling in a way that only needs a few more moments, a few more touches, before itâs inevitable
âYes, yes, yes, oh my god â â
âOh my god!â you cry.
Itâs so inevitable that what happens next canât even interrupt you. Erenâs hand doesnât slow, your grip doesnât soften, even when the slapping whacks against the floor below you go on for an obviously long amount of time. You rush over his fingers to the sound of the downstairs neighbors. It feels like your vision is black and fuzzy, static and blood in your ears. Even in your commanding position, even with the incessant knocks below, you shake helplessly into him.
Eren only stops fucking you with his fingers when you do let go, slumping back, even into the rough couch too warm to offer a cooling comfort.
You exhale. The room is still shrieking with the theatrics of the womanâs orgasm. Another, irritated slap against the ceiling downstairs.
âShit,â Eren says, and leans back hastily. He pauses the video with the heel of his palm. You notice his fingers glistening.
He sees you watching him, and grins â impish, with bared teeth â before reaching up to lick his hand and taste you again.
âWow,â you say at last. Collecting your thoughts is hard. You stare at the pixels on the screen, the unflattering freeze-frame pause of the couple fucking on the bed. âWow.â
Eren sits on the couch next to you. You shift your legs together, feeling the dampness, the tacky fluids of his saliva and your cum drying against skin as your knees touch.
âIâll clean the couch later,â you mutter.
Eren might not have heard you. Heâs looking at the ceiling, with bright eye and a flush still across his cheeks. He holds his hands in his lap carefully, as if the threads still lingering on his skin are precious spun silver. âThink it worked?â he asks.
âFor them?â You havenât been thinking of the people who spend their days animalistic and scraping the floor with their beds in a while. Youâve been thinking of someone else. âI didnât hear anything. Maybe.â
âHmm.â Eren turns his eye down to you. âWell. Maybe weâre the upstairs neighbors now.â
.
#aot#attack on titan#aot x reader#eren yeager#eren jeager x reader#eren x you#shingeki no kyoujin#eren jaeger#eren jaeger x reader#eren jaeger x y/n#eren x y/n#eren jeager x y/n#eren jaeger x you#eren yeager x reader#eren yaeger#eren yaeger x reader#eren yaeger x you#eren x reader#aot x you#attack on titan x reader#attack on titan eren x reader#modern au#modern au attack on titan#daryafics#aot eren
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Papamin Propaganda - Armin's natural affinity for children
This is nowhere near as lucid or detailed as I wanted it to be, but I've managed to throw a few points together, so have it anyway.
There are quite a few characters in AoT who have shown remarkable compassion and empathy toward children, notably, Levi, Reiner, Jean, Hange, and so on. In this post we'll talk about Armin.
Episode 72 (S04E13) is titled "Children of the Forest" and I think it's quite self-explanatory at this point - as Sasha's father put it, the children of this ruined world have been roaming around in a forest of endless violence, unable to find a way out of it. By the end of AoT, the characters who are presently "children" (i.e, Gabi, Falco, Kaya, and so on) do end up exiting this 2000 year old forest, toward a new world of harmonious co-existence. What I love particularly about the episode titling sequence however, is that Episode 71 (S04E12) is called "Guides" - and it deals mostly with the people who will act as the literal "guides" to the "Children in the Forest". This is of course, Hange & the surviving members of the 104th, and therefore also, Armin.
(In a previous post I've talked at some length about why I consider Armin to be *THE* guide out of the forest, for not only children, but humanity as a whole; so we will not go into that here. Instead we'll stick to why Armin has a natural affinity and flair for handling children specifically.)
It's important to remember that Armin was a bullied child, one at the receiving end of a never-ending stream of insults, kicks, and violence. Despite being abandoned by his parents and eventually also losing his grandfather, Armin never lost his kindness and gentle persona. This, at an age when children are heavily influenced by their surroundings and what they witness through the behaviors of other people, *can* be a bit surprising. It is a known fact that bullies are born due to (among other things) a variety of self-esteem issues and jealousy. I would say Armin retained this softness because in spite of being orphaned, & considered the 'weakest' among the 104th, he always received love from those around him (the fact that he couldn't see this love and value placed in him is a different thing entirely), and was treated with kindness too (ah the days before Floch came along with his insults were peaceful #_#)
Moving on to the aforementioned episodes in particular: It is Sasha's father who introduces the concept of the forest, we know Hange cries "Genocide isn't right!" twice (and thereby making it clear that she is the most senior "guide" in all of the bunch), but it is Armin who is the first to put to literal action the meaning and role of being a guide that brings children out of the forest.
Between episode 71, 72, 81 (S04 P2 E06), 82 (... E07) & 83 (... E08), the events taking place are very tightly packed together. Everything from the first reveal of Eren's Jaegerist faction to the beginning of the Rumbling takes place. It is a period when the military is in shambles, Eren has pushed his friends away and become that giant bony monster, Falco's been taken hostage, Hange's hiding away taking care of Levi, and the rest of our characters are dispersed across various locations, stumped and paralyzed with fear and hesitation about what to do about the world getting trampled outside. It is a period of intense confusion, and there is no unity between anybody. The Alliance hasn't been born.
In this duration of time, we see the following:
1. Armin helping a battered and bloody Gabi get up in Niccolo's restaurant and helping her walk to the next room, away from the arguing adults.
2. Telling her in no uncertain terms that she's not going to be killed out of vengeance. It's important to note this because while Gabi's already received the kindness of other people by this point (Sasha's family), she soon comes to know that Armin is Eren's best friend, i.e the Devil's best friend, and yet, he's still kind to her.
3. He meets up with Gabi, and tells her honestly what's happened. Now this is a favorite scene of mine, but you'll notice that when Gabi falls to her knees, everyone's standing around towering over her, but in the end, Armin kneels to her level, holding her gently by the shoulders. Body language is a powerful tool to convey a person's emotions and intent; he does ask her about what she saw when the walls fell, but he still does it gently, and at her level of height where she doesn't have to crane her neck up to look at someone 'commanding' her. It's a humane action, gentle and kind, an indirect way of saying "I'm listening, you can trust me, so don't be afraid." It's also pertinent to note that of all the people around Gabi in that moment, Armin's the most approachable. Mikasa's withdrawn, in a turmoil of her own. Sasha's family is clueless. Connie kidnapped Falco, not a good image. Jean's rough, prone to losing his temper. Hange & Levi nowhere to be seen. But Armin? He was kind to her at the restaurant, and continues to be so, retaining his softness both in manner and speech, with her.
4. With Mikasa immediately after (the outburst scene), we see him say many things; that the line of command has broken down completely, that they need Gabi's trust if they have to do something by forming a team with the Cart & Jaw titans. Remember: Hange & Levi are missing, two of the closest superiors the kids know to look for guidance; and yet he alone makes the difficult decision of going after Falco. This move of his does three things: (a) It wins Gabi's trust in full, (b) Tells Gabi (and also to us as the readers) that he doesn't agree with Eren's actions, (c) Lays the very foundation for the Alliance before anybody's even told him to.
5. With Falco's scene, things are once again, self-explanatory - but I like one specific detail. We see the others trying to catch some shut-eye (Mikasa, Jean, Annie, Hitch, etc). Earlier with Mikasa, Armin had expressed his wish to just sleep for two days straight. And yet it's HIM who rides with Gabi all through the night non-stop to get Falco back, trying to catch up to Connie who's had a head-start, waaayy before them. This little detail, imo, shows his dedication and drive for what he believes in, as well as strong empathy and understanding for these hurting children, who don't know any better. (I don't know if Gabi knows he's the holder of the Collosal titan atp... I think she knows? If yes, it would show how much she already trusts him, going with him alone. Now tell me that isn't because of the compassion and empathy he's shown toward her.)
It's obvious that all of the 104th understand where children like Gabi come from - brainwashed and rabid as they are. But in choosing to show Armin as the one who takes the first step in bringing the Alliance together, through the heart and mind of a child, I find myself believing - this man's going to be a GREAT dad.
Sorry if this was all over the place xD I wanted to make it more coherent, but I don't have the energy, welp. Feel free to add your thoughts!
#armin arlert#attack on titan#meta#aot#snk#arminarlert#shingeki no kyojin#aot meta#character analysis#papamin propaganda#as for the fluffy papamin thoughts.. later
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Iâve read that in order to have empathy for others, one needs to first believe that people are inherently good. Do you think this is the case for Levi? Whatâs your own personal opinion on this?
I think Levi probably believes in the general goodness of people, yes. He's also seen the very worst of humanity, though, and is very aware of just how bad people can be. I don't think Levi harbors any idealistic delusions about humanity and its ability to ever be a harmonious and peaceful animal.
But I also think Levi holds empathy even for people who aren't really good, or people who have obvious negative qualities. Like, for example, Dimo Reeves, and the merchants of Trost. Levi wanted to help those people, even though all of them were actually extremely greedy and selfish. He in fact saves the lives of two of the merchants who were badmouthing him and the Survey Corps just moments before, when he pushes them out of the way of an oncoming wagon. And he goes out of his way to broker a deal with Reeves to help the entire city of Trost out of financial ruin and despair. We see this kind of stuff from Levi all the time. Like when he gives Petra's patch to that one soldier, despite the man's own, selfish actions endangering the entire unit, and causing them to have to dump the bodies of Levi's own squad. He gives this man Petra's patch, despite being insulted by him only a short time before, as well. Or the soldier in "No Regrets" that endangered Levi's own life through petty jealousy, Levi ends up saving his life, too. He saves Furlan's life, despite Furlan trying to trick him and force him into joining his gang. He forgives Erwin and chooses to keep believing in him, despite Erwin's duplicity and selfishness. He didn't even hate Kenny, in the end, despite all that he had done to him, and tried to understand why Kenny abandoned him, to see it from his point of view. He tries to help Floch and save him from being cut down by Mikasa, despite his viciousness toward Erwin. He understands the reason Mikasa is so harsh in her criticisms of him and even cruel in her accusations against him is because she loves Eren, which is why he doesn't push back against her or scold her for it. He didn't want either her or Eren to suffer for directly disobeying him in Shinganshina, either, and even threatening his life, letting them out of their holding cells early. He showed compassion for Pastor Nick, even, despite his refusal to help directly endangering lives, and even with Sannes, you could tell Levi wasn't enjoying torturing him and didn't want to take it too far, his horrified expression when Hange rips his tooth out really demonstrating this. There's a reason people call Levi the most empathetic character in the story. They aren't just talking out of their ass when they say so. Levi holds empathy even for bad people, and for people who have done bad things. He even tried to understand Zeke, but Zeke was just too far gone at that point.
So I don't think Levi's empathy hinges on his ability to believe in the goodness of people. He's seen and experienced first hand, probably more than anyone, just how rotten people can be, and he still believes their lives have value and he still wants to help them.
As for myself, I tend to have a pretty negative view of people, if I'm being honest, lol. But if someone is truly empathetic, I think they can acknowledge that people are just as capable of bad and just as prone to doing bad things as they are good, and still think they deserve compassion. Levi is exceptionally compassionate and empathetic. I think he's a better person than most.
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ââzodiac signs as anime charactersđš âË
âââââARIES: Eren Yeager (Attack on Titan)
"I'll wipe out every single one of them! And then... I'll be free!" (Passionate, impulsive, driven by a burning desire)
âââââTAURUS: Rukia Kuchiki (Bleach)
"There's no point in fighting if you don't protect something you care about." (Loyal, dependable, values duty and tradition)
âââââGEMINI: Light Yagami (Death Note)
"The world is rotten, and those who are making it rot deserve to die." (Intelligent, adaptable, harbors a dark side beneath a charming exterior)
âââââCANCER: Usagi Tsukino (Sailor Moon)
"In the name of the moon, I'll punish you!" (Emotional, compassionate, driven by a desire to protect loved ones)
âââââLEO: Naruto Uzumaki (Naruto)
"Believe it!" (Confident, optimistic, craves attention and recognition)
âââââVIRGO: Levi Ackerman (Attack on Titan)
"Cleanliness is next to... victory!" (Analytical, meticulous, prioritizes efficiency and order)
âââââLIBRA: Shoto Todoroki (My Hero Academia)
"There's nothing wrong with relying on others." (Diplomatic, seeks balance and harmony, avoids conflict)
âââââSCORPIO: Sasuke Uchiha (Naruto)
"Vengeance... It's all I have left." (Intense, passionate, harbors hidden depths of emotions)
âââââSAGITTARIUS: Monkey D. Luffy (One Piece)
"I'm gonna be the King of the Pirates!" (Free-spirited, adventurous, lives for the thrill of the journey)
âââââCAPRICORN: Mikasa Ackerman (Attack on Titan)
"If we fight together, we can win." (Ambitious, disciplined, fiercely loyal and protective)
âââââAQUARIUS: Lelouch Lamperouge (Code Geass)
"The world needs a revolution!" (Rebellious, visionary, challenges the status quo)
âââââPISCES: Shinji Ikari (Neon Genesis Evangelion)
"I don't want to get in the robot." (Intuitive, emotional, grapples with self-doubt and escapism)
#zodiac memes#zodiac as anime#anime#aries#taurus#cancer#gemini#leo#libra#capricorn#pisces#aquarius#virgo#sagittarius#scorpio
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have hope.
pairings: levi ackerman x reader
warnings: brief abuse scene & mentions of blood
genre: fanfic romance
word count: 1k+
âś summary: youâre the happiest person on base & levi has a secret liking to you. what happens when he finds out your boyfriend is abusing you?
a/n: this one was so hard for me to keep him in character so i hope itâs good anyways HAPPY VALENTINEâS DAY
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It was a cold winter this year, but you didnât mind. In fact, it was your favorite season. There was something about the crisp white of the snow, the scent of the cold air, that could refresh your mentalities and just make you feel reset.
Today was a training day. Every morning at precisely ten o clock, the Levi Squad met outside for combat training to start the day. Lining up in a row with one hand in a fist on your heart, the other behind you, while the Captain gave a rundown was the procedure and today was no different.
Your heart skipped a beat when you saw him.
Levi walked past each and every soldier, giving you a rundown of how the training will work, the goal, and if there were any questions. He looks each one of you in the eye as he speaks and everytime he reaches you, you can't help but give a small smile. He wouldnât know it meant you thought he was handsome, strong and intelligent. You were the girl who always smiled, who always laughed. Itâs one of the many reasons people loved you, you always wore your true colors.
Until recently.
A few months ago, you got in a relationship with another soldier. He was strong, confident and had his eye on you. At first, you thought it was off putting, but then you decided nobody else saw you that way, you might as well go for it and see what happens. So you did.
At first it was great, heâd bring you snacks, always had an eye on you while training, all of it. What you didnât know until it was too late was how awful he truly was,
Because not everyone wears their heart on your sleeve like you.
You had to start making excuses to Armin. He was the smartest of your group. Every morning you used to wake up early with him and walk the grounds. Sometimes you laughed, vented about loss, and other times it was just your arms linked together taking in the breeze in a comfortable silence.
Now you told him, it was too much because you weren't sleeping well, but in reality you were applying makeup to the bruises on your face as you silently cried. You blinked away the thoughts as the troops yelled âYES SIR!â and began training. Armin, of course, being your partner.
Lunch came much earlier than anticipated and the two of you walked back to the castle, with Armin apologizing for hitting you in the cheek too hard as you laughed. The two of you waited in line and Jean yelled for you both. Armin waved, but you didnât move.
You saw your boyfriend with an angry face, staring at you. His hand gesture told you to follow him as he left the dining hall to head towards the dorms.
âOh, I canât sit today.â
âWhat?!â exclaimed Jean, âOh, I have had the best joke. Sweetheart, donât do this to me. I gotta tell it before Eren comes!â causing Connie to snort out his drink, laughing hysterically.
Armin turned to you, his smile from Connie fading, âHey,â he whispered, âAre you okay? I feel like I don't see you outside training anymore.â he put a hand on your arm as his eyes analyzed you, in the most comforting way. You felt a head look up and you panicked, not realizing how close you were to the captain's eating table.
âYes.â You said too fast, âI have just felt tired. So, I'm going to head to my room, thank you, Armin. You're always so kind.â You left with your food as quickly as you came in, Armin watching you leave, along with the captain, a frown on his face.
Your boyfriend was standing outside your dorm room, tapping his foot. As soon as he saw you he grabbed your tray and tossed it, causing everything to spill, âWhy did you just-â
âWhere the hell were you?â he hissed. He grabbed you and slammed you against the door, his grip on your wrist would have caused you to groan in pain, but then heâd be angrier, so you squeezed your eyes shut. âOh, so you're not going to even look at me now?â His breath reeked of alcohol, your least favorite thing. âSounds like you need a lesson on respect.â
Fear dropped into your stomach so fast, you thought you might vomit.
No.
No.
No.
Please don't hit me.
But he doesn't know that word anymore.
You woke up early like normal, but today you knew it was over. You were unhappy, scared, everything you never used to be. You stood up and opened your curtains to let the light in. You looked in the mirror and gasped. In nothing but your big scout t-shirt, your body was absolutely littered with bruises in pinks, blues, and even purples. You crumbled to the floor in tears.
What happened to your strength?
You winced as you got dressed, your clothes covering most of them, and you used your makeup to cover your face, which helped a lot. You knew you looked okay, you just wished you were.
Levi was a Captain, he knew his soldiers well, but today felt odd. He didn't like it. It was breakfast time and you were nowhere to be seen. Yet here was Armin, without you.
As ten oâ clock hit, Levi marched outside and saw every spot was filled which meant you were here. Youâd see him and smile, like you always did and things would be fine. except things were not fine. He got to you and stopped. Your eyes were dazed and dark underneath, your legs slightly shook from exhaustion, he didn't even think you realized he was in front of you.
âY/n?â
Nothing.
âY/N?â he said louder, to cover up his worry, causing everyone's heads to turn.
You snapped out of it and jumped at your name being yelled. He grabbed you by the shoulders to steady you, âY/n, It's okay, everything is fine. Okay?â He said softly, realizing his soldier voice was the opposite of what you needed.
âYes.â Your face turns red. âSorry, Captain.â
He looked at you and blinked, âYou're sitting out today.â
You paled, âWhat?â
âRest of you, showâs over. Today is ODM gear training. Erwinâs waiting for you at the site. So don't just stand here, you're dismissed.âÂ
The familiar âSir!â a salute echoed and everyone ran towards the trees.
Levi put his hands on the sides of your arms causing you to yelp in pain. âJesus, what the hell?â
Your eyes widened as Levi froze, his hands ghosting where he touched you. âIâm fine, I just fell last night during combat training. So I'm a bit sore.â
A silence floats between you both and you shift under his icy gaze, âTell me the truth,â
âWhat?â
âY/n. I'm the Captain of this squad. I know when things are off and right nowâŚit's you. Everyday you smile and nod at me, and not only did that not happen, you can barely stand up on your own today. You are zoned out and wincing when you're normally my best soldier.â he brings his voice down, âYou can tell me, y/n.â
His eyes looked into yours, digging for an answer. Surprisingly, he looked a little worried, which is very unusual for him.Â
You felt your eyes prick up with tears and Leviâs eyes widened. Then, as you were about to confess, you saw him. He was watching you, and he was angry. Levi saw your eyes flicker and went to turn his head but you panicked. âDonât move!â
Levi froze again, his eyes still on you, âWhat the hell is this?â This time you hear the slight worry break through his usual monotone.
You saw your boyfriend leave and relaxed. âNothing, I'm sorry sir. I'll do better.â You were slowly backing away from him, but he was moving forward.
âNo⌠you were going to say something. What was it?â
âNothing!â You snapped, Levi stopped walking and with a turn you left, mumbling about sitting out like he said.
Levi had no clue what to do and he always did. The nicest person he has had yet to know was different. Something was happening to you. He felt his heart hit his stomach, something is happening to you and he hasnât stopped it.
He decided he couldn't take this any longer and followed you. He was high up in the military for a reason, you didn't catch on for a second. He lost you from your quick speed for a moment but heard your shrill whispers and his body filled with that dread he was new to experiencing.
âI didnât tell the Captain anything, I didn't. I didnât!â
 Levi realized you were now hysterically sobbing and was running at top speed to your cry that was echoing through the base. Suddenly, you screamed louder and the captain realized nothing was more frightening to him than not finding you. He reached an old door and kicked it open so hard his foot went through it and it slammed off the hinges.
The happiest person on base, the reason he, along with so many others, were able to get up in the morning, was curled up in a pile on the floor, blood trickling from your head. He took one look at the satisfied man towering above you and did what any sane captain would do,
He beat him until he was in a much worse state than you were, which didn't take long at all.
He was quick to check your pulse, which was fine, and he scooped you up and ran with you to Hangeâs office.
âCaptain Levi?â your voice was breathless, you could only just see him.
âItâs okay, y/n. Itâs fine, I have you now.â His voice was soft, his running smooth. You curled into him and smelled something like teakwood, clean shampoo, and rainwater. âDon't sleep just yet, let Hange and I fix you first.â
âOkay.â was all you could say, and against his wishes, you fell into a sleep with his voice yelling your name.
You woke up to Levi sitting on a couch across the room, his hands stained with your blood as he sat spread out, arms crossed talking to Hange. You looked around and saw you weren't in a hospital bed, you were in Leviâs. You wore what was probably his shirt, and felt a bandage over your head, the pressure adding onto your stinging headache. She nodded and left, when he turned to look at you he jumped up and walked over to you.Â
âI told you not to sleep, cadet.â
You smiled, painfully, âI'm sorry.â
He sighed, eyebrows furrowing as he rubbed them together with one hand, âSo, are we going to discuss what I walked in on?â
Your eyes quickly left him and shifted to anything in the room. He sat on the edge of his very large bed, the two of you only taking up the left side. âHeâs with Erwin, heâs being discharged. He canât hurt you. Not anymore⌠I beat him to shit, That's what he looks like now. Shit.â
You laughed at his usual demeanor surfacing, which broke you into a cough. But you nodded, thanked him, and told him your story.
âJesus.â Levi said darkly, as you finished.
âIâm sorry-â
âNever say that again.â
You were taken aback, used to apologizing. âY/n,â he shifted slightly away from you. âI think⌠I think you've been apologizing too much behind closed doors. So, please don't feel like you have to apologize to me. If you should know anything, It's that you're safe in this room and that you're safe with me.â
Emotions filled your body in a way you didnât understand, so you nodded, words failing you. He stood up and stared at you, then leaned down to you, his elbows on the bed. You froze thinking he was going to kiss you, but he didnât. âGet some sleep. Youâll have a headache for a few days.â he whispered in your ear.
You nodded again and felt his face against yours, causing you to grow hot. You tried to sit up but Levi moved and pushed you down again. âStay down. Thatâs an order. I want you to relax.â
He watched you contemplate him but gave in, very tired. âAre you leaving?â you asked, nervously.
He scoffed, âTch. The last thing you need to be is alone right now. I have paperwork to do anyway. We learned a lot on the 57th Exterior Scouting Mission.â When Levi sat at his desk and turned to you, he saw you were asleep, but he saw a small smile gracing your face. His whole body relaxed. You were going to be okay, that's all he ever wanted.
He wanted to slap himself, realizing he now has emotions towards his best soldier. He didn't do romantic feelings. But, maybe just this once he could change his mind
and have hope.
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a/n: PLEASE LET ME KNOW HOW I WROTE HIM. iâm nervous hahaha
đˇď¸: @stellar-lunee @rwandabailey @maplemiyuki @canthebest1 @ardenous @majoshionna (i tried to tag everyone but some it wasnât letting me?? help)
#Spotify#fanfic#fanfiction#romance#books & libraries#levi attack on titan#levi x y/n#levi ackerman x you#levi ackerman x reader#captain levi#levi ackerman x abused reader#levi ackerman x abused! reader#levi ackerman#levi fanfiction
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How the aot boys react to finding out y/n can sing
Eren
f7cking blown away
eren would immediately pull out his camera and record like all the cameras in the world would break tomorrow
After this be prepared for eren to make you sing at literally EVERYTHING
He'd get so excited that u can sing that he'd also forget your kinda of a person with shit to do and make you sing for everyone
Armin
A part of me feels like armin would just burst into tears
Like he'd think your singing is so beautiful and just start crying out of nowhere
Unlike eren armin wouldn't embarrass u and make u sing everywhere but he would brag about you alot
Jean
Like why and I sensing jean can sing too?
Yall prob met at some kind of singing gig
Of course jeans proud u can sing but he likes to sing duets or harmonies with u instead of just bragging on u and making u sing alone
But initially when he finds out you can sing OML he immediately felt in love
Connie
Lets be real connie...prob doesn't care that much
Hes happy his gurl can sing and he's glad u like to sing but bsffr (being so f7cking for real)
He doesn't really care
For hum its like "oh you can sing. And remind me when I asked? Lol"
Erwin
With erwin he will proudly show u off like a new trophy
Its unbelievable
Like eren, erwin would definitely try to get u to sing for everyone but if he sees ur uncomfortable with it then he won't make you do it
Levi
Levis very possessive so when he finds out u can sing he wants it for himself and himself only
Therfore he doesn't make u sing everywhere
Infact he gets a bit frustrated when u do sing everywhere like that
I feel like he would ask you to sing for him before yall go to bed or smt like that
Maybe while yall are cuddling
Thank you for reading! If u have any recommendations just lemme know or if u think I messed up on any of the characters. This is my first time posting headcanons like this and i hope I can continue to do this and possibly get into an actual story.
#aot headcanons#anime#singer#yn#headcanon#eren jaeger#aot fluff#armin arlet fluff#jean kristen#connie springer#erwin smith#levi heichou#aot x reader#first post
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a photo dump for the birthday boy!
#itâs eren day!!!#he deserves a big glossy kiss MWUAH#starting to fall in love with him againâŚ.#ugh this boy đ itâs truly a love hate relationship we got going on#â harmoni rambles#â (.eren)#eren#eren jaeger
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random method acting thoughts + asks
correct. you are absolutely correct. AND I THINK I MENTIONED THIS A FEW TIMES but every time I feel like method acting drama is unrealistic I remember that nicki minaj exists and sleep well at night. MEGAN DEFENDER FOR LIFE
trust. we've got a tweets heavy chapter. and her comeback tweet is so petty I don't even know how we got here but we're here
WAIT UR SO RIGHT. casual E charm around her neck and she's just like yeah what? no i'm not dating him what are you talking about (yes, she is)
thank you so much âšď¸ i've been having the worst week (for two weeks in a row) and kind words like this mean so much to me. the headspace has not been the most fun space to be lately (and sometimes I worry that reflects in what I wrote) but i'm glad that it's made you happy and given you that feeling of love. that's all I could hope for and it almost makes me teary eyed that some shred of that is still there even when i'm not feeling the best đ
here are my random thoughts:
connie has the online presence of tik tok user @/nmillz. like him single handedly reviving all in my head (flex) by fifth harmony (PLEASE TELL ME YOU'VE SEEN IT) is the funniest thing ever and even the way he talks/what he talks about reminds me of method acting connie đ
this is so random but mentally in my head, I associate some of the characters with like real celebrities and influencers in terms of aesthetic and vibe, which i've seen some readers do which is so interesting cuz our picks are never the same
like y/n in my head is olivia rodrigo coded. like her having a specific brand (very romantic, lovey dovey) when she was on disney channel (and maybe was asked to lean into really hard) as opposed to guts/sour which is so.....emotional/ jealously/rock that's kind of the vibe I get from that character (or at least where we are headed)
historia in terms of aesthetic/character is sabrina carpenter and taylor swift. sabrina carpenter in terms of aesthetics/looks (she is very much the beauty standard, the dream girl, nonsense outros) and in terms of character is taylor swift? like she's a relatable but there's a part of her that's always going to be untouchable (for taylor that's just cuz I think she's a billionaire/very detached from reality, but for the character that just stems from being so deep in the whole industry type thing that she kind of forgets what matters sometimes)
gabi in general reminds me of billie eilish, in terms of where her character will go. I wanted to include the real life hate that gabi as a character got in the show into the story, but I also feel like that hate sometimes is given to billie eilish. to the point where when she wins grammy's she's apologizing bc she feels like she doesn't deserve it, but at the end of the day...she's one of the most talented artists in our generation? what was I made for? bad guy? happier than ever? they were all phenomenal. gabi can be a great actress but she'll never feel like it!
sukuna and y/n give zendaya and timothee vibes. eren and lana give bradley cooper and emma stone in the variety actors on actors interview.
falco and gabi are walter scobell and leah sava jefferies in terms of dynamic and vibes. I will die on this hill.
eren and y/n are andrew garfield/emma stone (ref: she was like a shot of espresso), danielle galligan/calahan skogman (ref: matching tattoos), daisy ridley jones/paul mescal (ref: undeniable SOMETHING)
hyla just has kardashians/nicki minaj level audacity. like kim wearing a purple dress and posting a story w/ speak now...nicki minaj ai generated diss track like that's her.
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Tides of Fate
In a world where powerful creatures known as sirens come to the shores of Paradis, the scouts are thrust into an unexpected allianceâone that is sealed through an ancient and seductive bonding ritual. Each siren has chosen a mate, and through their connection, the scouts are granted extraordinary powers.
As the bonds grow Mikasaâs jealousy threatens to unravel her. But the real danger lies not just in broken hearts, but in the lurking threat of Marley and those who seek to capture the sirens for their gain.
Power, desire, and duty collide, forcing the Scouts to navigate new emotions and alliances in ways they never imagined. Through danger, love, and sacrifice, the tides of fate will decide if their world will rise or fall. (Eren, Levi, Floch, Jean, Armin, Connie, Bertholdt, Reiner x OCs)
Chapter 36: Harmonies and Hostilities
Hange leaned forward eagerly, her eyes gleaming with excitement. "So," she began, unable to contain her curiosity any longer, "Iâve been dying to hear you sirens sing. For scientific purposes, of course."
The sirens exchanged amused glances, a knowing smile passing between them. They all knew that Hangeâs fascination wasnât purely academicâshe was as enthralled by their abilities as she was by anything else otherworldly.
"You want us to sing?" Luna asked, her voice teasing as she glanced over at Hange. "All of us? Together?"
Hange nodded enthusiastically. "Yes! Iâve heard how powerful your voices can be individually, but I want to hear the full range, all of you harmonizing at once. Iâm curious to see what effect it has."
The scouts, who had gathered around out of sheer curiosity, exchanged looks. Most of them had heard their respective sirens sing before, whether during more intimate moments or just casually, but never all of them together. The thought of it had them intriguedâand a bit wary. After all, siren songs were known for their power to enchant and enthrall, and hearing it from the entire pod could be overwhelming.
"Are you sure about this, Hange?" Levi asked, crossing his arms. He wasnât exactly thrilled about the idea of the sirens drawing that much attention, especially with the entire HQ buzzing with activity nearby.
Hange waved off his concerns with a wide grin. "Oh, come on, Levi. Itâs all in the name of science!"
Aria smirked as she stood next to Levi, her lavender eyes gleaming with mischief. "This should be fun," she said, clearly ready to show off her vocal abilities.
The sirens all gathered together, standing in a loose circle. Each one of them was poised and confident, their ethereal beauty more striking than ever as they prepared to sing.
Luna, as the leader of the pod, took a deep breath, and the other sirens followed her lead. Slowly, they began to hum a low, haunting melody. The sound was soft at first, a gentle vibration that resonated in the air like the whisper of the sea. But then, as each siren added her voice to the harmony, the melody grew richer, more layered, their voices blending together in perfect unity.
The effect was immediate.
The entire HQ seemed to pause. Soldiers who had been busy training or going about their tasks stopped in their tracks, their attention drawn inexplicably to the source of the sound. Conversations died off mid-sentence, and tools were set down as everyone turned toward the courtyard where the sirens were singing.
Their voices were unlike anything anyone had ever heard before. The harmony was flawless, each sirenâs unique tone adding depth and texture to the melody. It was otherworldly, a sound so beautiful it seemed to transcend reality. The air itself seemed to shimmer, as if the very atmosphere was responding to the power of their voices.
Ariaâs soprano voice soared above the others, clear and piercing like the call of a distant bird, while Briaâs seductive alto grounded the melody with a richness that sent shivers down the spine. Solaraâs golden voice added a warmth that felt like sunlight, while Rueâs raspy tones brought passion and intensity. Melodyâs soft, shy voice weaved through the others, while Caspia and Seraâs voices created perfect harmony, adding playful and mature notes to the mix.
Together, they created a sound so captivating, so utterly mesmerizing, that it was impossible to look awayâor even think about anything else.
Eren stood next to Luna, his expression unreadable as her voice joined the others, her powerful, confident tones sending a wave of warmth through him. Floch was equally entranced, jaw dropped and his eyes fixed on Bria as she sang, her voice low and sultry, wrapping around him like a sirenâs embrace.
Levi, despite his usual stoic demeanor, couldnât help but feel the pull of Ariaâs voice. He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, watching as she sang with a confidence and beauty that left him momentarily speechless. Even he had to admit, it was a sound unlike anything he had ever heard.
The melody swirled around them, growing in intensity as the sirens harmonized perfectly. Their voices carried through the air, reaching every corner of HQ. Soldiers who had been training at the far end of the grounds dropped their weapons in awe, drawn toward the sound like moths to a flame. The entire HQ had come to a standstill, all eyes fixed on the sirens.
Hange was positively giddy with excitement, scribbling notes furiously even as she, too, was captivated by the beauty of the music. "Incredible," she whispered to herself. "Absolutely incredible."
As the song reached its peak, the sirensâ voices crescendoed, their harmonies intertwining in a final, breathtaking note that echoed through the air like the last wave of a retreating tide. And then, just as suddenly as it had begun, the song ended, leaving a stunned, reverent silence in its wake.
No one spoke for several moments. It was as if the entire HQ had forgotten how to breathe.
Hange was the first to break the silence, her voice filled with awe. "That was⌠that was the most beautiful thing Iâve ever heard."
The sirens exchanged amused smiles, clearly pleased with the reaction.
Aria shot Levi a playful look, raising an eyebrow as if to say âI told you we could put on a show.â
Floch was still staring at Bria, completely entranced. "I think Iâm in love all over again," he muttered under his breath, though he wasnât entirely sure if he had meant to say it out loud.
Jean and Connie stood dumbfounded, unable to articulate what they had just experienced. "Okay," Jean finally managed to say. "That was... wow."
For several minutes, the courtyard remained quiet, as if everyone was still processing what had just happened. Slowly, the soldiers began to return to their tasks, though the lingering effect of the siren song stayed with them long after the last note had faded.
âŚ
Commander Pyxis, Commander Nile, and Premier Dhalis Zachary had just walked into HQ when they heard the sirensâ song float through the air. At first, they exchanged confused glances, unsure of the source of the enchanting sound, but it didnât take long for the melody to wrap around them, pulling them into its mesmerizing spell. They paused mid-step, frozen in place as the beauty of the voices harmonizing reached them.
Pyxis, ever the connoisseur of fine things in life, took a deep breath and smiled broadly, his eyes twinkling with delight. âNow that⌠is something extraordinary.â
Nile nodded, equally spellbound, though he tried to maintain some of his usual stoic composure. âIâve never heard anything like it. Is this the power of the sirens?â
The Premier, always measured, listened intently, arms crossed. âIt would seem so. If they can produce this effect with just their voices⌠itâs no wonder the scouts have become so closely tied to them.â
Mikasa, however, was not impressed. Her arms were crossed tightly over her chest, her face set in a deep scowl as she listened to the sirens sing. She barely registered the beauty of the music; all she saw was a deliberate attempt by the sirens to manipulate those around them. The melody seemed to dig into her, making her already boiling frustration reach a new peak.
âThatâs it,â she muttered through gritted teeth. âTheyâre using their voices to compel everyone. This isnât just a song. Itâs a manipulation tactic.â
Her eyes landed on Luna, who was standing near Eren, her posture relaxed and confident. Luna seemed completely at ease, as though nothing could touch her, and that only made Mikasaâs blood boil more. She glared daggers at Luna, her mind racing with accusations. It wasnât just about the song; it was about Lunaâs constant presence by Erenâs side, the way she seemed to effortlessly hold his attention, the way she had slithered into his life without even trying.
A few feet away, Aria leaned over to Bria with a mischievous grin, her voice loud enough for everyone to hear. âYou know, Bria, I think Mikasa needs a hobby⌠or a man.â Her tone was dripping with amusement, referring to how much time Mikasa seemed to spend obsessing over Luna and Eren.
Bria, ever the picture of seductive grace, brought a hand to her mouth in a poor attempt to hide her giggle. âNo kidding,â she whispered back, her burgundy eyes gleaming with playful humor. âSheâs acting like Luna lives in her head.â
Aria let out a soft laugh, and while Bria tried to suppress her amusement, it was clear she was enjoying every second of it. The exchange was subtle, but Mikasa heard it loud and clear. She turned her icy glare toward the two sirens, her fists clenched tightly at her sides. Aria, meeting Mikasaâs glare, raised an eyebrow and gave her a wink as if to say, What are you going to do about it?
Mikasaâs teeth ground together, and she took a step forward, fully prepared to confront them, but before she could say anything, Commander Pyxis cleared his throat loudly, interrupting the tense moment.
âWell,â Pyxis said, his voice carrying an air of amused indulgence, âit seems that song has quite the effect on people, doesnât it?â
Nile glanced between Mikasa and the sirens, clearly picking up on the tension in the air. âItâs powerful, Iâll admit. But Iâm not sensing any ill intent.â
The Premier nodded in agreement, his gaze turning to Mikasa. âWeâve heard your concerns before, Mikasa, but so far, thereâs been no sign of the sirens abusing their powers. From what I can see, theyâve done more to strengthen the scouts than weaken them.â
Mikasaâs jaw clenched tightly, her frustration reaching a breaking point. âTheyâre controlling everyone!â she insisted, her voice taut with anger. âLook at how everyone is behaving around them. Itâs not normal! Eren⌠Levi⌠Floch⌠theyâre all under their spell.â
Pyxis shook his head, his expression calm but firm. âTheyâre in control of their actions, Mikasa. The scouts are stronger than ever, and their bond with the sirens has only benefited Paradis. If there were signs of manipulation, we wouldâve seen them by now.â
Mikasa opened her mouth to argue, but Luna, who had been quietly watching the exchange, stepped forward, her posture commanding yet calm. âWe donât need to compel anyone, Mikasa,â Luna said, her voice smooth and steady. âOur mates are with us because they chose to be. Not because we forced them.â
Eren, who had been standing silently next to Luna, finally spoke up, his eyes hardening as he turned to face Mikasa. âLunaâs right,â he said firmly. âIâm not under any spell. Iâm with her because I want to be.â
Mikasaâs heart twisted painfully at his words, but before she could say anything, Aria, ever the provocateur, spoke again.
âMaybe if you spent less time worrying about Luna and more time on yourself, youâd find someone too,â Aria teased, her smirk never fading. âItâs not healthy to be so focused on someone elseâs relationship, Mikasa.â
Bria chuckled softly again. âYou really should take Ariaâs advice, you know,â Bria added, her tone light but pointed. âItâs clear Erenâs happy with Luna. Maybe itâs time you found your own happiness.â
Mikasaâs glare only deepened, her body tense as she struggled to contain her anger. The sirens were toying with her, and it was taking everything in her not to snap. She hated the smug way they talked, the way they acted like they knew everything. But most of all, she hated how right they were.
Commander Pyxis sighed, sensing the escalating tension, and decided to step in. âLetâs not let this turn into something it doesnât need to be,â he said, his tone firm but diplomatic. âWeâve seen the positive impact the sirens have had on the scouts, and until thereâs concrete evidence of wrongdoing, I suggest we all focus on what truly mattersâprotecting Paradis.â
Mikasa bit her lip, her fists still clenched, but she said nothing. The sirensâ song had faded, and the tension in the air was thick, but for now, the confrontation had been diffused. Luna gave Eren a subtle smile, while Aria and Bria exchanged victorious glances, knowing full well that they had won this round.
They giggled softly between themselves, their eyes darting toward Mikasa, it was clear that they were having too much fun at her expense. The tension Mikasa felt had grown unbearable, her emotions a swirling storm of frustration and heartache, and now even Aria was feeding into it. Bria gave one last chuckle before sauntering back toward Floch, leaving Aria to make her way back to Levi.
Aria, still smirking, glanced over her shoulder as she walked, catching Mikasa's heated glare. Aria didn't care; in fact, she reveled in it. She knew what she had said was true, and if Mikasa couldn't handle it, that was her problem. Her hips swayed with confidence as she neared Levi, knowing full well that Mikasa's anger was reaching its breaking point.
Mikasa, however, had finally had enough. Her mind was racingâher fury toward Eren, Luna, the sirens, Marley, and now Ariaâit all boiled over. Her blood was pounding in her ears, and before she could stop herself, she snapped. Her eyes narrowed, and she lunged forward, her blades drawn in a flash. Her target: Aria.
But before Mikasa could even get three feet toward Aria, there was a blur of movement. Suddenly, Levi was between them, his blades out and locked with Mikasaâs. He had moved with the speed and precision of lightning, and his expression was darker than any of the scouts had ever seen.
Levi was furious.
The clashing of their blades echoed across the courtyard, freezing everyone in place as they witnessed the scene unfold. The other scouts and soldiers turned their heads, completely flabbergasted, but they didnât dare move.
Leviâs gaze burned into Mikasaâs, his jaw clenched tight. âWhat the hell do you think youâre doing, Mikasa?â His voice was low, dangerous, and filled with anger. The protective instinct surging through him was almost palpable, and the look in his eyes told Mikasa that she had crossed a lineâone she should never have crossed.
Mikasa was panting, her eyes wide with shock. She had barely seen Levi move, and now her blades were pressed against his. The look of pure rage on his face sent a chill down her spine, but her anger hadn't completely subsided. âGet out of my way, Levi,â she hissed, trying to push back against his blades, but he didnât budge.
âNo,â Levi snapped, his voice cold and cutting. His eyes flicked toward Aria, who stood behind him, her expression startled but calm. Leviâs protective instinct surged again, making his grip tighten around his blades. âYouâre not touching her.â
Ariaâs heart raced as she watched the scene unfold. She knew Levi was protective, but his demeanor had switched from calm to territorial so quickly. A small part of her was taken aback, but most of her was relieved. She had no doubt Levi would protect her with everything he had.
Mikasa gritted her teeth, her body trembling with frustration. âSheâs manipulating you, Levi! All of them are! Eren, Floch⌠all of you are blind to what these sirens are doing!â
Leviâs glare only darkened. He pushed her back slightly with his blades, his grip firm and unyielding. âThis isnât about you, Mikasa. It never was. And if you think Iâm going to let you hurt Aria because you canât deal with your own emotions, youâre wrong.â
Levi lowered his blades but kept them in hand, ready for any more sudden moves. âI donât care how angry you are,â he said in a low, controlled voice. âYou donât attack her. Ever.â
Aria, standing behind Levi, allowed herself a small, satisfied smirk. She knew Mikasa would never get the chance to lay a finger on her as long as Levi was around, and the look on Mikasaâs face made it clear that she knew it too.
Mikasaâs fists clenched tightly around her blades, her heart pounding in her chest. She wanted to scream, wanted to lash out, but something inside her stopped her from making another move. She couldnât fight Leviânot like this. Not when he was so clearly willing to kill to protect Aria.
The silence between them stretched out, heavy and suffocating.
âGo cool off,â Levi growled, his voice like steel. âBefore you do something even dumber than what you just tried.â
Mikasaâs gaze flickered between Levi and Aria, her chest rising and falling rapidly. Finally, with a frustrated growl, she sheathed her blades and turned on her heel, storming off without another word. Her departure left the courtyard in tense silence, with the other scouts and soldiers exchanging uneasy glances.
Levi, still standing protectively in front of Aria, let out a slow breath, his jaw still clenched. He turned slightly to check on Aria, who was now smiling up at him, her confidence unshaken.
âThank you,â she said softly, reaching out to brush her fingers against his arm.
Levi sheathed his blades and looked down at her, his expression softening slightly. âYouâre fine,â he muttered, though his protective instincts were still on high alert. âJust⌠stay close. And stop being an instigator.â
Aria chuckled, clearly not rattled by the encounter. âYouâre always so serious, Captain. And donât worryâI donât plan on going anywhere.â
Meanwhile the scouts, top brass, and even the Premier, Pyxis, and Nile stood frozen in disbelief. Conversations that had previously filled the courtyard had died out completely, replaced by low murmurs and exchanged glances as everyone processed what had just happened.
Levi was now sat on the bench, visibly pissed off, his jaw tight and his eyes cold as he stared in the direction Mikasa had left. Aria sat on his lap, looking almost unbothered by the whole ordeal, though she gently ran her fingers through Leviâs hair, a subtle gesture to calm him down. But Levi remained tense, still not over what had just transpired.
Hange was the first to speak, her voice filled with both curiosity and concern. âWell⌠that escalated quickly.â She glanced at Levi, her eyes flicking toward Aria as she continued, âI didnât think Mikasa would actually try something like that.â
Sasha, standing beside Hange, looked between Levi and the direction Mikasa had gone, her expression a mix of worry and disbelief. âI knew Mikasa was frustrated, but I never thought sheâd⌠I mean, she lunged at Aria with her blades.â She shook her head, still processing the intensity of what theyâd just witnessed.
Commander Pyxis took a long drag from his flask, a thoughtful look on his face. âThat girlâs letting her emotions cloud her judgment. Sheâs usually level-headed, but it seems these sirens are stirring up more than just power within the Scouts.â He chuckled softly, his eyes landing on Aria, who gave him a small smirk in response. âI donât think Iâve ever seen Mikasa lose control like that.â
âLevi was ready to kill her,â Nile murmured, his brow furrowed in concern. âThat was⌠something else. Iâve seen Levi angry, but Iâve never seen him like that before.â
The Premier, standing beside Nile, nodded slowly. âItâs clear these sirens have formed powerful bonds with their mates. Perhaps too powerful.â His gaze shifted toward Levi and Aria, though his expression remained unreadable. âThereâs an instinctual protectiveness that cannot be ignored.â
Eren, standing near Luna, clenched his fists, clearly conflicted about what had just happened. He had known Mikasa was upset, but he hadnât realized how far her frustration had gone. Luna placed a calming hand on his shoulder, her voice soft. âSheâll need time, Eren. Sheâs hurting, and you canât fix that right now.â
Erenâs jaw tightened, but he nodded, glancing at Levi, who still hadnât said a word. The cold fury in his eyes spoke volumes, though, and Eren knew better than to approach him now. Aria, sitting comfortably on Leviâs lap, leaned her head against his shoulder, whispering something soothing into his ear, though it did little to ease the tension radiating from him.
Floch, who had been watching from the sidelines with Bria, let out a low whistle. âWell, that was intense. I mean, I always knew Levi was protective, but damn.â He glanced at Bria, who had been watching the whole scene unfold with an amused smile on her face. âI guess we shouldnât be surprised though, right? The way he looks at Aria, itâs like⌠well, like heâd kill anyone who even thinks about hurting her.â
Bria chuckled softly, brushing her hair back as she looked at Aria and Levi. âThatâs just how it is with siren mates. We bring out that protectiveness, and trust me, we wouldnât have it any other way.â
Hange, ever the inquisitive one, couldnât help but ask, âAria, did you know Mikasa was that close to attacking you?â
Aria glanced over at Hange and gave a small shrug, still playing with Leviâs hair. âI felt it. Mikasaâs anger isnât exactly subtle. But I knew Levi would step in before anything happened.â She shot Levi a fond smile, clearly not fazed by the ordeal. âBesides, I donât think Mikasa wouldâve gotten very far.â
Levi remained silent, his arms wrapped protectively around Aria as he glared at the ground. His mood hadnât softened, and anyone who looked at him could tell he was still fuming. It wasnât just the attackâit was the fact that Mikasa had even dared to draw her blades against Aria.
Hange sighed, crossing her arms as she surveyed the group. âThis whole siren thing is a lot more complicated than we originally thought.â She glanced toward the Premier, Pyxis, and Nile. âThese bonds are powerfulâalmost dangerously so. And weâre seeing the effects of that firsthand.â
âIndeed,â Pyxis murmured, his eyes narrowing thoughtfully. âIâd say the sirens have proven just how strong their connection is with the scouts. Itâs not just about physical powerâitâs emotional too.â
Nile shook his head, still trying to wrap his mind around it. âBut for Levi to nearly cut down one of his own⌠thatâs something else entirely.â
Aria chuckled softly, her eyes sparkling with amusement. âThatâs just how mates are. Youâre willing to do anything for them. Protect them, fight for them, kill for them.â
Floch nodded, looking smug as he wrapped an arm around Bria. âDamn right. And honestly, who wouldnât be willing to fight for someone like this?â
Bria gave Floch a playful nudge, but her eyes were on Aria, her smirk growing wider. âExactly. Leviâs just doing what any good mate would do.â
As the group continued to process what had just happened, the tension in the air slowly began to ease. But one thing was clear to everyone there: the bonds between the scouts and their siren mates were unlike anything they had ever seen. And with that kind of intensity came both powerâand danger.
Levi, still simmering with anger, finally spoke, his voice low and sharp. âMikasa better not try that again.â His eyes were cold, his grip around Aria tightening slightly. âNext time, I wonât hold back.â
The weight of his words hung heavily in the air, and no one dared to challenge him.
âŚ
 The next day, Commander Pyxis stood in the commander's office, arms crossed, his usual calm demeanor tinged with a stern edge. Across from him stood Mikasa, her jaw set in defiance, arms folded, clearly unhappy with the orders she was being given. Levi stood beside Pyxis, his expression hard, the anger from earlier still evident in the tension of his body. He hadnât forgotten how close Mikasa had come to attacking Aria, and he wasnât about to let her continue down this reckless path.
âMikasa,â Pyxis began, his tone gentle but firm, âyouâre being given a direct order. Youâll be taking a month-long leave of absence.â
Mikasa clenched her fists, her body rigid as she stood before them. âI donât need a vacation,â she insisted, her voice sharp. âI need to be here. Paradis needs me.â
Leviâs gaze darkened, cutting through her stubbornness with a steely look. âWhat Paradis doesnât need,â he said coldly, âis you causing more problems. You almost attacked one of your own. If I hadnât been there, youâd be in a worse situation right now.â He didnât say it, but everyone in the room knew that if Mikasa had made it past him, she wouldnât have survived his retaliation.
âI wasnâtââ Mikasa started, but Pyxis held up a hand, silencing her.
âDonât make this harder than it has to be, Mikasa. This isnât a punishment. Itâs a chance for you to rest.â His tone softened slightly. âYouâve been through more than most of us, and you havenât had a moment to breathe since this whole siren fiasco started. You need time away. Time to recover.â
Mikasaâs lips pressed into a thin line. âI donât need rest. I need to be out there, fighting. Erenââ
âThis isnât about Eren,â Levi interrupted, his voice cutting through the air like a knife. âItâs about you. Youâre on edge. And that makes you dangerous. More dangerous than any of us need right now.â
Her eyes flickered between Levi and Pyxis, her frustration building. She knew they were right, deep down, but the thought of leavingâof not being there to protect Erenâgnawed at her. Still, the memory of Leviâs blades clashing against hers lingered, and she knew she had no real choice.
âWeâve already made arrangements,â Pyxis continued. âYouâll be staying with Queen Historia at the palace. Sheâs looking forward to hosting you, and this is the perfect opportunity for you to have some time to yourself.â
Mikasaâs eyes widened slightly. âThe palace? Iâm notâŚâ She faltered. âIâm not some noble to be relaxing in a palace while everyone else is out there fighting.â
Levi gave her a hard look. âThis isnât a negotiation. You need spaceâaway from Eren, away from all of this.â His voice was lower now, but the anger still simmered beneath the surface. âThe next time you go after Aria, I wonât stop. You need to understand that, Mikasa.â
The weight of his words hit her hard. She looked down, her fists clenched at her sides, but there was no denying the truth. If she stayed, her growing resentment toward the sirensâtoward Luna, Aria, all of themâwould only fester. And the next time, Levi wouldnât hesitate.
After a long pause, she spoke, her voice tight. âFine. Iâll go. But only because I donât have a choice.â
Pyxis nodded, satisfied. âItâs for your own good, Mikasa. And for the good of everyone here.â
Levi remained silent, his arms crossed, watching her closely. He wasnât about to let his guard down, not after what she had almost done. Mikasa had always been strong, but right now, she was a loose cannon, and that was dangerous for everyone involved.
âHistoria will be a good influence on you,â Pyxis added, his tone lighter. âSheâs found her balance after everything sheâs been through, and I think youâll find some peace there. Maybe even relax a bit.â
Mikasa scoffed softly. âI donât know how to relax.â
âWhich is exactly why youâre going,â Levi said sharply. âYouâve been wound up tighter than a spring since the day I met you.â
Mikasaâs jaw tightened, but she said nothing more. She knew it was futile to argue.
As she left the office, the weight of the situation pressed down on her. She was being sent awayâbanished to the palace with Historiaâand there was nothing she could do about it. She couldnât protect Eren from Lunaâs influence. She couldnât stay by his side. And the worst part of it all was that she didnât know if being away would make things better or worse.
âŚ
Two days later, Mikasa stood outside the gates of the palace, the towering structure looming over her. Historia had greeted her warmly, a smile on her face, but Mikasa could hardly bring herself to return it. The palace was grand, and everything about it felt foreign to herâa reminder of a life she had never wanted.
Historia, sensing her discomfort, placed a gentle hand on Mikasaâs shoulder. âItâll be good for you to stay here,â she said softly. âTrust me, Mikasa, Iâve been through enough to know that sometimes, you need space to heal.â
Mikasaâs eyes flickered with doubt, but she nodded curtly. âI donât know how to relax,â she admitted quietly, almost to herself.
Historia smiled kindly. âYouâll figure it out. And if you need help, Iâll be here. This is a safe place, Mikasa. You can let your guard down.â
Mikasa wasnât so sure about that. Letting her guard down wasnât something she knew how to do, especially now. But for now, she had no choice. She would spend her time hereâaway from Eren, away from the sirensâand hope that somehow, this vacation would give her the space she needed to clear her mind.
~
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- a o t c h a r a c t e r s a s t r o p e s -
aot characters x tropes [eren,, jean,, mikasa,, armin,, sasha,, connie]
WARNINGS: slightly suggestive,, a bit sad,, mentions of food -- masterlist
a/n: this is kind of a x reader, but with tropes that i think go well with these certain aot characters! i hope you enjoy it :)) i have a part two and maybe three coming out as well for the rest of the characters
part 1,, part 2,, part 3
EREN : the one that got away - the whole i thought you didn't like me so i didn't confess and tried to move on but that made things worse spiel
eren is so emotionally constipated, this trope fits him so well. you'd have grown up together, your mum's were both friends and at one point eren starts viewing you differently. he doesn't know when or how this has happened but he starts noticing little things about you, like the plumpness of your lips or the way your eyes shine in the sunlight.
naturally eren ignores his feelings, but you can tell something is wrong. eren isn't as close as he was to you before and starts distancing himself to not ruin your friendship. and that's when you realise your feelings for him and that you miss him.
you drifting apart pains eren and he attempts to move on and maybe try falling in love with someone else, adamant that you never liked him. at first whenever he met someone new he constantly compared them to you but then he met someone and he finally thinks that he has another chance at love.
it doesn't work out, it never does because as soon as he catches a glimpse of you in a bookshop all those feelings come flooding back, and just as he's about to walk towards you he sees armin wrap an arm around your waist, making him stop in his tracks. turns out the further away you drifted from eren, the closer you got to armin.
JEAN : childhood friends to lovers - you both find yourselves falling in love and jean confesses and you live happily ever afterÂ
you two were neighbours and at first you disliked jean because he acted like a spoilt little brat sometimes, but both your parents and his encouraged you two to play together, since you were similar ages
you then found out that jean wasn't as bad as he seemed, and although he had flaws, you didn't mind them. he was a sincere and kind person at heart.
and from then you both started liking eachother more and more. both of your parents were so sure you'd end up together and whenever they'd tease either of you about it your face would heat up as you feign disgust.
you couldn't imagine being with jean. until you started thinking about it. at first it was small things, like wondering how his hand would feel wrapped around yours, his hands holding your face and his eyes gazing into yours.
then it started escalating as you grew up, imagining jeans lips kissing yours and his body pressed against yours. you were falling in love with jean and you didn't know what to do. thankfully though, with a push from both of your parents, who knew about your feelings you two managed to get together !!
MIKASA : soulmates - thereâs just something about you that makes her soul, body and mind feel at peace and in harmonyÂ
the moment mikasa laid eyes on you her eyes skipped a beat and her breath caught in her throat. she felt electricity running through her body and goosebumps starting forming on her skin
she immediately felt drawn to you, and you felt exactly the same way. you two must've been soulmates. there's no other explanation for it
the beautiful thing is that you two had different interests and contrasting in opinions in some matters but that only encouraged the both of you two open up even more and explore new things together.
neither of you can explain the ecstasy of just being together and spending quality time together. you feel at peace in each other's arms and there's no where else in the world you'd rather else be. it truly is magical.
being around you for mikasa is like taking a breath of fresh, pure air. she gets a taste of it and all of a sudden normal air just doesn't feel as good or satisfy her. and for you mikasa is like missing part of you you didn't know you were missing until you met her.
ARMIN : academic rivals to lovers - youâre forced to work on a special project for the school together because youâre both smart assesÂ
no one can tell me otherwise, i honestly wish i could live out this trope with armin. you and armin are always fighting and competing with each other for first place ever since school began. like itâs a constant back and forth between the two of you and your friends are like âomggg just fuuckkk alreadyyyâÂ
anyways professor hange pulls you outside of class one day and tells you how the school needs you two to work on a project together to represent the entire school and itâs really important that you two put your ârivalryâ aside and blah blahÂ
youâre both looking at them like âcant i just do it by myself, im sure itâll be better anywaysâ but hange is like fuck no, you will working together and you will create a beautiful project that will get the school sponsors and new lab equipmentÂ
so you both reluctantly exchange numbers and set up dates to meet up and get the work over and done with. and over the span of like 20 chapters you both find yourself falling for one another after finding more about about each other. turns out that you actually have a lot in common
anyways you finish the project after some major hiccups and nearly fail the whole thing but it pays off because you have a new relationship as well as new lab equipment, you two are such goals as well, like that one untouchable smart couple that both get into harvardÂ
SASHA : strangers to best friend to informal lovers - you two just became closer and closer and do everything that couples do, but you just never really made it official or formalised itÂ
thereâs just something about sasha that makes you feel really comfortable and at ease with her. youâve rarely experienced this feeling after meeting someone so quickly and youâre amazed and appreciative of how comfortable sasha has made you.
you guys met through a mutual friend an instantly sasha made you feel welcome in their little group. she even offered you some of her snack, which didnt seem like much at the time. but when you saw her tackle 6ft something jean down to the ground because he took one crisp, you realised how much of a big deal it was.
you honestly couldnt help but fall for her and her charms and those endearing little quirks that she has. and sasha, from day one always had a soft spot for you. she didnt know if it was love, but she just knew you were slowly becoming her favourite person.
fast forward a year or so and you guys are incredibly close. you constantly have sleepovers, cuddle each other, go on cute little dates together and have even kissed a couple of times.Â
next thing you know sasha and you are moving in together and sharing the same living space, which then turns into bed, and the both of you are just so embedded into each otherâs lives. you even adopted a pet together!!
its not until your friends, confused about the nature of youâre relationship, did you slowly start thinking about it as well. neither of you really put a label on it even though youâve told each other you love one another a million times and shown your love as well.Â
CONNIE : love triangle - youâre in love with him, heâs in love with someone else, but that person is in love with you, issa triangleÂ
i can see connie as a love triangle because heâd genuinely just see you as a best friend / sister figure and not even realise that youâre in love with him and try and pursue someone else. but then plot twist, the person heâs in love with likes you. so connie does what any good friend does and tries to set you two up.
it hurts him so much to see the person he likes talk about you so much and act so enthusiastic about seeing you smile at them or talk to them or whatever, and connie wishes it was him and lowkey envies you.
but you end up experiencing the exact same thing as connie. you feel kind of bitter about connie wanting someone else thatâs not you, but you also accept it and try to organise more meetings with connie and the other person and try and get out of going out with the other person by yourself.Â
its just really messy overall and with the way connie's acting you're getting more and more frustrated because you don't want to be with sam (I'm calling the third person sam), you want to be with connie.
eventually you burst and you confess to connie and he has an oh shit epiphany moment and his brain short-circuits. he takes a break from the situation for a while and then eventually comes to realise he kind of wants to be with you.
you both end up taking quite slow though, instead of rushing in and acting hasty. oh and sam fucks off realising they have no chance, but they get a happy ending, don't worry :))
ALL OF THEM : found family - sleeping on the floor together, as close as they can be to eachother after something bad happens.
you have jean and eren unknowingly cuddling on the floor, jean's head burrowed into eren's neck to drown out the noise. sasha's head on eren's lap, who's laying completely on his back, with one arm wrapped around jean
mikasa's laying slightly on top of sasha, trying to take in as much of sasha's warmth as she can, with both armin and connie around her. armin's cuddling into her stomach, content in his little safe place, and connie just laying with his arms and legs spread wide, on top of her and sasha, holding onto sasha's foot.
if you look closely though, you'd see mikasa's stretched out hand, lightly brushing against eren's, whose hand is slowly getting closer to hers, until their pinkys eventually interlock in an eternal promise of home.
Š ffsg0jo 2022 â do not plagiarise, repost, modify, or translate any of my work, in any way shape or form; i will piss in your cereal if you do. all work belongs to me and me only.
#đť.sunspell#đť.attack on titan#aot#attack on titan#eren x reader#jean x reader#mikasa x reader#sasha x reader#connie x reader#armin x reader#aot x reader#attack on titan x reader#tahonet#tht.sinta#spirithub#eren yeager#eren jeagar#jean kirstein#mikasa ackerman#armin arlert#sasha braus#connie springer#aot headcanons#attack on titan headcanons#aot x y/n#aot x gender neutral reader#attack on titan x gender neutral reader
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SWYAATL 15: Dear Comrade
Pairings: Eren Jaeger x fem! Reader
Warnings: alcohol, young adults being horknee, depression at the end
Summary: âYeah, I am. Iâm glad I found you.â You mumble the last bit, plucking the leftover flowers from your dress until you hold the branch of the forget-me-not between your fingers. âAnd even though weâll go our separate ways next week, Iâm glad weâre friends. Itâs weird ⌠youâre someone I donât want to forget, Eren Jaeger.â You offer him the flower. His eyes, now a dark green, are nothing like the soft blueâtheyâre different in so many ways, but you like them. Eren takes the flowers from you, looks at it like he doesnât know what to do with it, and settles for putting it in your hair, behind your ear. âI wonât just disappear, you know,â he says, an exasperated tone swinging in his voice as though heâs talking to a three-year-old thatâs still struggling with object permanence.
Notes: [01] || [14] | [16]
Words: 9k
A/N: Here we go, folks. Arc 1 of the story is over. I've already started working on Arc 2, and I've already noticed how fast-paced it is compared to what I've written until now. That being said, I can't tell when updates will resume, but I'll take a break from uploading for AoT for the time being. Once I'm back in the new year, I hope I can bring you a more regular upload schedule, but no promises.
Thank you everyone who's been on this ride for me, I can't thank you enough. Especially for the overwhelming love people show for Emil (I'm so surprised there are only asks about him on Tumblr than on the other AoT characters).
15: Dear Comrade
Commander Erwin Smith is a tall, impressive man. Youâve grown used to a handful of the other boys looming over you, but nobody manages to quite tower as Erwin does, making you feel small and insignificant even though youâre supposed to be the most important figure tonight. Heâs wearing a simple white shirt, the sleeves rolled back to his elbows. With arms the size of logs and shoulders wider than the Walls, nobody dares to stand in his way.
It immediately sobers you up. Now you wish youâd at least worn a jacket or something.
He gives you an elegant, curtsy bow, offering his broad-palmed hand on which a wooden chip rests. âMight I ask for this dance, Maienkoenigin?â
âUhmâ, you say very intelligently. Sir, yes, Sir, is what you should have said. Instead, you blurt, âShould you be out here at all?â
Erwin doesnât appear bothered by your questionâthen again, you think more is needed to throw the Commander of the Survey Corps off balance than a skimpy dressed, tipsy woman just fresh out of Cadet Corps.
âShould I and my men not be allowed to join the revelries from time to time?â he asks in return.
You can feel your face ablaze with shame. âIâIâm sorry, Sir, I didnât mean to, Sir.â
Erwin chuckles. âAt ease,â he says. âI must admit, I am out here not only for pleasure. I came to have a first look at the cadets. The Survey Corps is always on the lookout for promising new recruits.â He waits patiently for you to finally settle your hand in his, and turns his head to see which song the band strikes up next. On the other side of the plaza, the two string musicians each begin playing different songs, stop, and laugh at their error. When they bow their instruments this time, thereâs harmony and the crowd moves in tandem; amongst all the other faces, you spot Marco spinning Mina, and over there is Ymir forcing another tankard of beer down Christaâs throat. It makes you giggle; you want nothing more than to join you friends on the other side of the plaza and dance with Mina and Marco and kiss them both, and find Jean and tell him how much he means to you and how glad you are that he is part of your lifeâoh, and the Shiganshina three, the Golden Trio, thereâs so much you need to tell them, especially Eren, oh Erenâ
âI imagine everyone must be excited about graduation,â Erwin says, easily spinning you out of the path of a boisterous couple kicking up their legs in every direction, and successfully yanking your thoughts away from your friends and back to him. âHas anyone voiced their interest in joining the Scouts?â
Your thoughts go right back to Eren, who burns so bright it blinds you whenever he speaks about the Scouts. Mikasa will follow him, of course. There is little you imagine she wouldnât do for him. And where Mikasa and Eren go, Armin follows. You feel as though with those three alone, the Scouts are about to obtain a whole squad.
âSome,â you say, and try hard not to flinch when Erwin places his hand at the small of your back, leading you through the crowd. Heâs an experienced dancer, and you wonder if thatâs a hiring requisition for superior ranks. âThough opinions are split, and not in the Scoutâs favour.â
You feel Erwinâs gaze on you. Maybe you shouldnât have said that. But then he gives a small, crooked smile, and says, âWhen is it ever? That doesnât stop us from doing what we have to do.â
âWhatâs it like?â Your voice is so quiet, you doubt he hears your words. âThe outside?â
Erwin is quiet for a moment. Even though his hands donât stop to guide you for a moment, he feels as though his mind is far away. In the end, he settles for, âThereâs still so much I donât know,â but he speaks it in a whisper as though they are meant for him alone.
The dance goes on and on; everything spins so fast: the music, the laughter, the warmth from living people. Girls and women spin in circles, their hairâblack, brown, scarlet, and metal goldâflows like banners in the wind, and amidst them, silver flashes like a shiny coin. Like the moonlight flashing between dark clouds and illuminating the endless, dark night.
You trip over your own feet, staring in that direction. The only reason you donât fall is because Erwin catches your arm in time, steadying you. âIs everything alright?â he asks, but it seems very far away. You tear away from him and dive into the crowd in search of what youâve seenâwho you have seen, because there is no mistake that only one person wears hair woven from silver starlight.
Dizzy and disorientated, you dart through the crowd towards the fountain, shouldering people aside, using your knees and elbows as weapons. Cheers and calls follow you which you ignoreâyou want to be invisible to them all, to throw away the crown and run back to the meadow, run across it barefoot hand in hand withâ
The bandâs song haunts you; the melody, their voicesâit is the only thing that you can hear while running towards him.
Â
O let the earth a-tumble, love, And humble you withal, Keep running. Itâs up to you now, Up to you now, love to
Love run, love run For all the things youâve done Run for all the things that drum Run for all those pages thumbed
Love run, love run For all the things we wished weâd done Run from all you know thatâs coming Run to show that loveâs worth running to.
Â
When you emerge from the crowd, panting and with your heart trying to break free from your chest, no one with silver hair is waiting for you on the other side. It shouldnât surprise you, yet you only realise now how much youâve hoped, how much youâve depended on the possibility that somehow, by the smallest chance, Emil would appear and surprise you. It feels as though you are losing him all over againâyou are an open wound that you have no idea how to close. Tears burn behind your eyes, suddenly the emotions are so overwhelming you feel like youâre drowning in them.
You need to leave. As fast, as far away as you can until you can breathe again, until it doesnât feel as though you are missing one of your limbs.
You turn and dash towards a narrow side alleyâand bump into a solid, hard back. Before you can mumble an apology, a very familiar voice brightens the dark pit in your chest.
âHey, whatâs up?â Eren asks.
You tip your head back to look up at him. Eren used to be your height when you started out in the Cadet Corps, but now he looms over you, almost a whole head taller. Something about seeing him right now takes the wind out of your sailsâyouâve searched for a haven and while you havenât arrived where you want to be, maybe youâve arrived where you need to be.
âIâIâm okay. Iâm okay now,â you respond finally, unable to look away from Erenâs face. He dips his chin a little, as if sensing there is more youâre about to say, but when nothing comes, he gives you a crooked smile and turns to disappear back into the crowd. Something about the sight of his broad shoulders retreating closes up your throat, wedges sharp needles into your mouth.
âStay,â you say, catching his wrist, feeling his hot skin. Eren stops, turns slowly. âDonât leave. Please.â
He looks up from your hand to your face and studies it; studies your face for the answers to the questions flickering in his eyes. They pierce through you, hook right under your skin. Usually, youâd hate to lie bare and vulnerable before someone, but itâs different with Eren. Until recently, there was only one person whose thoughts you cared to knowâwhat they thought about you, specifically. Now, Eren has become that person.
Slowly, Eren reaches for your hand and untangles it from his shirt. Your heart drops to the bottom of your stomach, but before you can say anything or move away, he takes your hand and leads you away from the feast through narrow alleyways, hidden away from prying eyes. Itâs quiet here, and deeply dark. A few couples have sought that secrecy and are together now, joined at the lips, pressed close against the walls. Another song has begun, but slower.
Eren slows only when you reach the gates leading outside Trost District. He leads you off the path to where the grass fields stretch like silver patches under the moonlight. Immediately, you notice how much easier breathing is out here in this quiet, calm place. You take off your flower crown and drop it behind a crate, and hope you will never have to wear a crown again.
You find an empty spot down by the riverbank and sink down into the grass, the earth still warm from the dayâs sunlight. Youâre surprised. For the loud mouth Eren is, he can be quiet when it matters. The only light source comes from a big campfire people have put up near the water. It casts Eren in a warm glow that softens the planes of his face. He looks youngerâlike on the day you met on the first day of training when his eyes looked big for his face. His eyelashes are still stupidly long, stupidly darkâcurving like the crescent moon above your heads. Light stubble runs along his sharp jaw. You wonder how his skin would feel to the touch.
Youâre certain Eren is aware of your eyes on him, but he keeps staring ahead unblinkingly, waiting for you to fill the silence. Heâs putting your back against a wall like that. You donât know how much longer you can run. From him, from yourselfâalways towards the past as though Time itself slows to let you play, stealing the hours and turning the night into day.
You let your hands roam over the soft grass, and feel your fingers stumble over leaves and petals.
An idea blossoms.
You pluck the flowers from the ground and begin to weave a crown.
âYou know, this means affection and admiration,â you say and show Eren a purple-crowned dianthus. He blinks. âAnd this,â you continue, presenting a lilac aster right under his nose, âmeans I will remember you.â You pick up the next flower. âThis is Forget-Me-Not.â
âLet me guess,â Eren says. âDonât forget me?â
âSo smart.â
He grins. This grin makes something deep inside you unfurl, like a petal opening up its secrets to the sun.
You return to your craft, fumbling with thin stems and fragile pallets that break off and tear under your touch. Eren watches you struggle for a good minute. When he speaks, the amusement in his voice is like soft wind grazing through leaves. âNeed help?â
âIâm good, Iâm justââ The stems unweave and slip through your fingers like seams coming unknitted. The sweet smell of crushed petals fills the night. Nothing you do makes the crown holdâand then you realise why.
You let the flowers fall into your lap and blink at them, feeling your eyes grow heavy. âHe never showed me.â
Eren tilts his head towards you.
âHe never taught me,â you repeat, a quiver to your voice, âhow to make flower crowns.â
Eren clears his voice. âWhoâŚ?â
âEmil!â You stretch out your hand, showing off his ring, grinning. The crimson sphere flashes almost threateningly like spilt blood.
Eren is quiet for a moment, eyes fixed on your slender finger and the ring. âIâve heard you mention him,â he finally says, turning his head away. His side profile seems suddenly like a strangerâs, sharp and uninviting. âWho is he?â
âMy fiancĂŠe,â you announce proudly.
He turns his head so fast and sharp in your direction, you hear a bone crack in his neck.
âYouâre engaged?â he asks, but there is a very unfamiliar, un-Eren like tone to his voice that makes you look at him.
You donât think Eren has ever looked at you like this. As though you are a glass of water and he is dying of thirst, but unable to reach you. As though you are the only patch of cool, green grass in a never-ending stretch of parched, grey land. You have only seen yearning on Erenâs face when he talks about killing all Titans and going outside the Walls. It makes you feel as though you are an exposed nerve, tender and raw to the slightest touch. If Eren would reach out right now and put his fingers to your skin, surely you would combust.
His eyes seem to reach deep into you, hooking into the words buried deep in your chest, and yanking them out painfully.
âHeâs dead,â you say quietly, your grin slowly fading. âI think ⌠otherwise, he would be here. With me.â
Erenâs voice is barely audible. âWas it in Shiganshina?â
You nod, and nod, and keep nodding, feeling a thick lump in your throat. You bring your knees up to your chest, your hands wedged in the fabrics of your dress to keep them warm. Only when Eren puts his jacket around your shoulders, you notice your body is shaking, but the moment his warm knuckles brush your collarbones, the cold inside your body dissipates. The fabric is warm from his skin, the collar smells like him. You duck your head, trying to bury yourself inside his jacket.
âYou know, not one day passes where I donât miss him so much it feels that I might die,â you say, quietly, more to yourself than to him. âI donât know if youâve ever felt something like this.â
Eren holds your stare. If the silence is bait, you donât take it. You inhale, slowly. You smell food and the riverbed: mud and spice, with the slight after-taste of human pollution. And sweetness; ripe flowers ready to harvest for bees and insects.
âMy Mom,â he finally says after a long moment. He stretches out his long legs, then reconsiders and pulls his knees back up to his chest, mirroring your position. âI saw my Mom die five years ago and the first days after that were like hell.â
You nod. You know what that feels like. Glancing over at Eren, you think about taking his hand and squeezing itâto show that he is not alone in that grief, that you know his pain. But when you look at his hand, you find it already balled into a tight fist by his side.
Weirdly enough, it makes you smile. Of course Eren would not allow himself to break. Instead, he steels his grief into rage, into desperation, into resolve.
âWeâve lost ⌠so much ⌠weâre trapped like fucking cattle ready for slaughter.â Eren forces a deep, shuddering breath inside his lungs. You can see the veins along his arms stand out, and suddenly your mouth goes very dry. âI canât live like this. Nobody should live like this.â
âYou have big dreams, Eren.â You bump into his side, feeling his strong arms hard like walls against yours. He doesnât budge. âMaybe youâll set us all free one day.â
He scoffs and rolls his eyes, but you see the corners of his mouth twitch. âIf we ever bring down the Walls, Iâll definitely line up to throw a dynamite or two.â
âAnd then? What then?â It is a strange feeling, talking about a future you know wonât exist, but there is a quiet place in your heart that tries to imagine a life with no Titans, with no boundaries. It would look like a small Haven of trees, brushes hung heavy with glossy berries, red and purple and black, and small trees hung with oddly-shaped fruits youâve never seen before and that would be homeâyou take a sharp breath in. Gone is the smell of green, of living and growing things, of dirt and the roots that grow in dirt, and as you blink away the picture thatâs fading behind your closed lids, slipping from your mind even though you have no idea where it has come from in the first place, you hear Eren still talking: â⌠and after Armin and I see the ocean, I donât know. Weâll explore the world. Find all the places in Arminâs book he always talks about. And then ⌠Iâll pee in every major body of water on earth?â
âOh my God.â
âYou asked.â Eren bumps back into your side and you nearly topple over. When you straighten yourself, heâs looking at you curiously. Whatever he sees must satisfy him because he turns away, smiling to himself.
âWhat?â you ask.
âI see youâre feeling better.â
The question surprises you enough that you need two takes to open your mouth and give a response. And then you understand, heâs been trying to cheer you up. Nothing outlandish. Still, itâs like a died-out ember in your chest rekindles a fire.
âYeah, I am. Iâm glad I found you.â You mumble the last bit, plucking the leftover flowers from your dress until you hold the branch of the forget-me-not between your fingers. âAnd even though weâll go our separate ways next week, Iâm glad weâre friends. Itâs weird ⌠youâre someone I donât want to forget, Eren Jaeger.â
 You offer him the flower. His eyes, now a dark green, are nothing like the soft blueâtheyâre different in so many ways, but you like them. Eren takes the flowers from you, looks at it like he doesnât know what to do with it, and settles for putting it in your hair, behind your ear.
âI wonât just disappear, you know,â he says, an exasperated tone swinging in his voice as though heâs talking to a three-year-old thatâs still struggling with object permanence. âAfter graduation, whenever our old Corps meets, Iâll annoy the shit out of you. Donât think you can slack off in sparring just because Iâm not there to kick your ass.â
âLast time I checked, I kicked your ass.â
Eren throws up his hands. âBecause Mikasa was distracting me!â
You wave his excuses away, then stave off a yawn. The feast doesnât show any signs of stopping yet, but you know the second your head hits the pillow, youâll be out cold. Which is exactly why you lie down in the soft grass, looking up at the vast starry sky above you.
âIf you fall asleep, Iâll leave you here, you know,â you hear Eren say, your eyes already closed.
âNo, you wonât,â you say, and just to be sure, you hook your fingers around one of his belt loops. Something suspicious like a snort comes from Eren, but his warm presence beside you remains until you fall asleep, dreaming of juniper berry bushes and trees greener than any youâve known.
Â
The land is bare of grass, of plants, of life. It is a vast, never-ending wasteland of rolling sand hills where every grain twinkles like little stars no matter which direction you turn. It is an alien, strange place that feels familiar at the same time. Youâve been here before, but something is missing. Someone.
His name lies on the tip of your tongue, but you canât remember the feel or sound of it. Sometimes, you think you see someone standing on the horizon, but when you catch up, that person is gone like a mirage. The frustration builds, the taste filling your mouth with copper. When your eyes spy the person once more, you decide to call out: âErââ
âYou see someone more interesting than me?â asks Emil by your side.
You blink, dazzled, and when he offers you his hand, you take it. It feels the same as all those years ago, but nothing about him is the same. Or is it? You close your eyes for just a moment, and he smiles at you, his boyish face still young and round. âThereâs no one more interesting than you,â you say, because that is the truth. âItâs just this place. Iâve never seen anything like this.â
Sandy hills and a never-ending starry sky stretch before you to all sides. Thereâs something else, something very bright and very big, but whenever you try to look at it, it disappears, and you wonder if maybe youâre just imagining it.
âYouâre not supposed to be here,â says a voice that isnât Emilâs. You find that Emil has disappeared, and you are now standing with Eren. Itâs the same game: he looks different and at the same time he doesnât. Older, but also still how you remember him.
âWhereâs Emil?â you ask, turning. You see Mikasa with Armin, and Jean who is holding a sleeping Marco in his arms, brushing away ink-black curls from his forehead. Something about Marco seems strange though, as if half of his side is turning into sand.
âWhat are you talking about?â Eren says. âThis place is for the living.â His hands are cool on yours, and you are aware of them in a way you have not been of Emilâs as he turns you away from Marcoâs sight.
You narrow your eyes at him. âWhat do you mean?â
He leans close. You can feel his lips against your ear. They are not cool at all. âWake up, [Name],â he whispers. âWake up. Wake up.â
Â
You bolt upright in bed, gasping, hair plastered to your neck with cold sweat. Your wrists are held in a hard grip; you try to pull away, then realise who is restraining you. âEren?â
âYeah.â Heâs sitting on the edge of the bedâhow have you gotten into a bed?âlooking tousled and half-awake, with early-morning hair and sleepy eyes.
âLet go of me.â
âSorry.â His fingers slip from your wrists. âYou tried to hit me the second I said your name.â
âIâm a little jumpy, I guess.â You glance around. Youâre in a small bedroom furnished with dark wood. By the quality of the faint light coming in through the half-open window, you guess itâs dawn, or just after. Your uniform-jacket hangs neatly folded across the back of a chair. âHow did I get here? I donât rememberâŚâ
âYou fell asleep right next to me.â Eren sounds amused. âMikasa helped me get you to bed. She also changed your clothes. Thought youâd be more comfortable here than on the cold ground.â
âWow. I donât remember anything.â You run your hands over your face, feeling your swollen cheeks from a long, deep slumber. Maybe youâve had more alcohol than youâd expected. âWhat time is it, anyway?â
âAbout five.â
âIn the morning?â You glare at him. âYouâd better have a good reason for waking me up.â
âWhy?â Eren asks, leaning back on his heels, grinning. For some reason this is the exact moment your brain notices you and Eren are sitting on the same bed, and you are very close to each other. He must have changed his clothes before waking you upâgone is the rumpled black sweatshirt and in its stead Eren is wearing a simple white military shirt. âWere you having a good dream?â
You can still feel cold sand between your toes, see stars twinkle before your eyes. You think there were certain people in your dream, people you knew, but the details are blurry. âI donât remember.â
He stands up. âWeâve got our rifle rehearsal, remember? Shadis sent me to kick your ass out of bed. Actually, Jean offered to wake you up, but since itâs five in the morning, I figured youâd be less cranky if you had something nicer to look at than his horseface.â
âMeaning you?â
Erenâs grin grows tenfold. âWhat else?â
You throw a pillow after him, but Eren is already up and about, and out of the door before you can grab something else.
Just for a moment, you consider falling back into your bed and pretend the next couple of days donât exist. Somewhere on the other side of the compound you hear Shadisâ roars, and decide to get up pretty quickly.
Twenty minutes later, everyone stands ready. Rifle in hand, half of them visibly fighting their hangover, the rehearsal goes as smoothly as planned: Sasha stumbles twice, and Samuel and Connie go down with her. For a moment, Shadis looks like he doesnât want to say anything, but then he simply states youâd be all dead if those rifles were loaded, and proceeds to procure a bucket of water to douse them like filthy street cats.
It gives you a small break where you set out to find Jean. Compared to three years ago when around four hundred soldiers enlisted, only half of that number remains today. Many of them are foreign faces, and you doubt youâll ever find friendship in any of them since your group has pretty much remained the same ever since the first weeks of trainee days.
On the other side of the plaza you spot Mikasa and Eren. Sheâs plucking at his clothes, which he is invisibly annoyed about, but it is a different type of annoyed than when heâs around Jeanâit seems more long suffering while endearing at the same time, and for a moment you canât help but just stare at them and realise for the first time that they look good together. Theyâve known each other since childhood, and Mikasa is rarely apart from Eren. You wonder what that would be like, to know him in and out and say things that make him laugh, make him blushâjust like Mikasa is doing right now, but then from this distance you see her mouth from something that looks like your name and you stare even harder until she must feel you staring like a physical presence and turns.
Catching Mikasaâs eyes, you grow even more convinced that they are discussing you, that Mikasa can read you like a book, can see through to your very soul, and is telling Eren all your secrets. As if you are shouting this aloud, Eren turns at that very moment and looks at you, breaking into an elated smile as he waves his rifle dramatically in the air, and you smile back, waving yours in return, and receive a clap to the back of your head from Shadis for your troubles. As you rub your head in pain, you see Eren laughing in delight, and that alone makes it all worth the trouble.
âBam,â comes Jeanâs voice from your side. When you turn, you see him lower his rifle. âI just shot you.â
Changing the rifle from your left to right shoulder, you follow him back to your positions to restart the rehearsal. âYou know Iâd come back and haunt your ass. And donât point it at people, itâs rude.â
You can practically hear Jean rolling his eyes when he says, âWhatever.â
Back in your line, you follow the steps and march in tandem with everyone else. In front of you, Jean continues quietly enough for only you to hear, âWe practised rifle handling for this one thing; what a waste of time. Itâs not like weâll ever use them against other people.â
âI guess theyâre just making sure to cover the whole syllabus. I donât like thinking about having to point that at someone else.â
âYou sure as hell wonât have to,â Jean says, whipping around, bringing the rifle across his chest to his other shoulder. You do the exact same, staring up at the back of Reinerâs head. From the stiffness of his broad shoulders, you can see heâs very tense. Maybe heâs taking this rehearsal a little too seriously.
You only get the last bit of Jeanâs sentence because he unobtrusively pokes you in the back with the end of his rifle. âFrom what Iâve heard about the MP, youâll have your occasional thug but actual casualties are very rare.â
âSeven more days,â you whisper back. âWill you be okay without me? Whoâs going to pull your ass out of trouble?â
âIâm pretty sure Marcoâs got that covered.â Jean turns his head, probably on the lookout for the culprit in question. You go very still, but from the lack of Jean going on, youâre pretty sure Marco has still not found a good time to talk to Jean.
âYou know, thereâs still time to reconsider,â you say in just the moment the rehearsal reaches the stage where your fake rifles go off and make a deafening bang noise.
Jean turns his head, the âHuh?â clearlywritten on his face.
You pretend you didnât say anything. Maybe things are progressing the way they are for a reason.
Â
From the 344 recruits who started out at the very beginning, only 218 graduated.
On the evening Shadis announces the Top Ten trainees, nobody is surprised to see the ten best lining up before your instructor. You feel immensely proud that both Jean and Marco have managed to hold their ground. But to you, standing in the back between Mina and Armin feels right.
All you care about is the celebration thatâs right after thatâthe last evening youâll spend with the majority of your friends before everyone heads off. Understandably so, Jeanâs constant reminder to ânot enter the boysâ barracks afterâ gets more and more frustrating.
âWhy?â you say through a mouth full of steamed potatoes. âAre you guys comparing dick sizes?â
Someone who listens in on the table across from you chokes on their spit.
âWe want to have a guyâs night, whatâs so unusual about it? You girls do ⌠whatever you girls do. Have a pillow fight or whatever. But donât come into our barracks, got it?â
True to the nature of your friendship, obviously you barge into the boysâ barracks after the graduation celebration is over. And what timing you have. Swinging the door wide open, you enter at the exact moment Jean declares proudly that in a life or death scenario, heâd totally be down for a threesome with you and Marco.
You freeze. Everyone in the room freezes. Marco unsuccessfully hides the bottle of booze behind his back. It tips over and he shrieks as red liquid spills across the wooden floor. Multiple boys boo at him, and you realise theyâre all drunk.
Jean raises his eyes to yours, and you trade a look that feels like a dare. Somehow, you canât really take a hold of what expression to makeâit ranges from confusion to slight disgust to mild interest at how exactly the logistics of such a scenario would look.
Realising thereâs only one thing you can do right here, right now, you take a step back and close the door again, willing to forget this ever happened. Three steps is all youâre able to make before the door flies open again, rough hands grab you and manhandle you back into the room.
âYou better not tell anyone we got booze here, or Iâm gonna dunk your head inside a latrine,â Daz hisses. Heâs the opposite of intimidating at any given moment, but now, wobbling on both feet while pointing a shaky finger at you, even a newly born puppy has more bark to it.
You discreetly swipe away the cool spit heâs graciously sprayed over your cheek.
âSo, thatâs the reason girls are not allowed?â you say, putting on your best Ida-performance to show how disappointed you are. âYouâre going to hoard all that and donât invite us?â
Across the room, Samuel shrugs. âThe more people know, the easier Shadis might catch wind of what weâre doing here.â
âYeah, heâll skin us alive.â
âI think,â you say, very slowly, âwe should get everyone in here and have a final blast before tomorrow.â That didnât get the reaction youâve expected, but it is met with less resistance than before. âAnd we can also,â you add, wiggling your eyebrows, âmaybe play some games? Make it exciting.â
Not ten minutes later, the boysâ barracks is cramped. Every open space around the low centre table has been taken by someone as they sit huddled together, shoulder pressed against shoulder. Youâve organised more tankards from the kitchen, and now youâre sipping from the sweet meed Daz has organised somehow. After asking him for the third time and him refusing to explain, youâve given up and accepted this might remain the greatest secret of Cadet Time.
âSo, what games didâya have in mind?â Samuel asks after the initial excitement has settled down while everyone is nursing their drink. You can feel Jeanâs body pressing against your side, clearly interested in what youâll come up with.
âI got these,â you declare, and present a dozen wooden skewers youâve helped yourself to, âso we can play the Kingâs Game.â
A couple âOoohâs and âAaahâs later, everyone who wants to participate has settled around the table. Since it was your idea, you can be Queen first, and youâre not here to hold hostages. While swirling the mead in your tankard, your first order is, âNumber 3 has to give number 5 a kiss on the cheek.â
When Connie and Samuel rise at the same time, the rest giggles and whistles, but the boys donât back down. Alcohol is always a nice confidence booster, so Connie makes a big show of smacking a wet smooch onto Samuelâs cheek, earning them a round of applause for that.
âOkay, my turn.â Connie downs the rest of his beverage, then smacks his lips. âI want number 4 to give number 1 a piggy back ride.â
Reiner stirs, showing his skewer with a number 1 carved into the wood. When Christa climbs to her feet, wobbly like a flagpole swaying in harsh wind, the room erupts with laughter.
âI can do it,â she mumbles to herself, her usual pale face a canvas of redâthe culprit of it sitting right next to her and cackling like a maniac. Over the last years, Ymir has perfected the art of getting Christa drunk before anyone can notice and stop her. Itâs quite funny to her until Reiner offers to give Christa a piggyback instead, and all Hell breaks loose.
Next to you, Jean scoffs. âLike animals,â he says, but when you look up at him, he has a goofy smile on his face. You canât say how much mead heâs had until his glassy eyes drop down to you and he leans into your space, arching over you until your shoulders touch.
âIâm gonna miss you,â he mumbles, his breath soft against your cheek. You feel the pinprick of tears at the back of your eyes and blink against them. He canât pull that shit the night before you go your separate ways.
Before you can reply, someone is tugging at your sleeve. When you turn, somehow magically a new skewer with a new number has manifested in your hand.
âSevenâs gotta sit on Nineâs lap,â Sasha whispers conspiratorially. She points at you, then across the table, where Eren is looking at you with a very weird expression. âBy the Kingâs order.â
You whip your head around and find Reiner grinning at you. Jeanâs presence immediately vanishes when he leans away, looking sickly pale all of a sudden when he stares somewhere else, his jaw held tightly shut as if heâs just bitten into glass.
This is a bad idea, without a doubtâbut the other, much louder part of your brain thinks challenge accepted.
You crawl over to Eren who eyes you as though heâs just waiting for the hidden dagger to slash forward and cut him open, and throw one leg over his lap. Good balance so far. You sit more on his knees than on his thighs, which is enough for the first round of whistles and unnecessary remarks from your comrades. Eren has found a very interesting spot somewhere behind your shoulder that demands his complete, undisturbed attention.
âKids, you gotta do it properly,â Reiner says, and with a slap to your back, he pushes you flush against Erenâs hips. You choke on your spit. Eren yelps.
Reiner grins. âExactly like that.â
âOkay, okay, we get it.â You try to weasel some space between you and Erenâs pelvis, but the only place of leverage is his arms. Itâs different from hand-to-hand-combat practice where touching bodies is inevitable and youâre too occupied thinking about ways to bring your opponent down than worry about girls and boys accidentally touching where they shouldnât. But this is deliberate, and now that your hands cling to his arms to regain your balance, you notice the strong chord of muscles tensing under his shirt. His solid thighs easily holding your weight. You donât doubt if his shirt would lift slightly, the sight of firm abs would greet you.
âDonât move,â he hisses, grabbing onto your thighs to prevent you from squirming. It gets the desired effect, immediately shutting you up, freezing you on the spot. It also does something weird to your body. You want to close your legs, pretend modesty is a thing that you guys still do around here, but you donât have to be a genius to understand friction is the last thing Eren needs, and thatâs why heâs got an iron grip around your thighs.
Why are so many people cramped up in this tiny room, itâs so fucking hot in here. You still donât meet Erenâs eyes. Youâre close enough to feel him breathing, feel the heat radiating off his body. Not knowing what to do with your hands, they just fumble needlessly in front of you, your fingers curling into the hem of your shirt to do something. Someone laughs really loud at the back of the room.
Eren clears his throat quietly. âNervous?â
Finally, your eyes meet. His seem darker than usual, a deeper green like a lush forest dancing to strong wind picking up before a storm. This close, you could count every single one of his long lashes.
âWhy would I be?â You lean back slightly, but the friction is enough to make Eren tighten his grip around your thighs. You can feel his nails dig into your skin through the fabric of your trousers. âIf anything, I get the feeling youâre the one who canât keep up, Jaeger.â
Eren executes an eye roll that must give him a spectacular view of the inside of his skull. No wonder Jean canât keep his cool. Or maybe itâs just an Eren-thing, infuriating those around him. A match to an explosive barrel.
Youâll give him one.
âNervous?â you ask with a mean grin that furrows Erenâs eyebrows in question for a second. Then you roll your hips against his once but hard enough for him to feel the heat between your legs. His expression is priceless, absolutely dumbfounded and stupid and laughter rises in your throatâ
Eren throws you off his lap, already on his legs and charging out of the cabin into the cool night. Thankfully most of the other cadets are too busy whooping at Sasha drinking loads of beer from an improvised funnel Connie and Samuel are holding up for her. Only Mikasa has paid attention, and is now rushing after Eren while you return back to Jeanâs side. He nibbles on a dried cracker and barely spares you a glance.
âWhatâs wrong with your face?â Jean asks. He sounds impatient, and when he snaps his jaw shut on the cracker, it reminds you of a guillotine slamming down.
âWhatâs wrong with your face?â you snap back.
âNo, I mean if youâve got a fever or something, go to bed.â
âJust eat your damn crackers, Jean.â
You try to hide your burning face behind your arms, knees bent up to your chinâa small ball of embarrassment because who could have thought your little joke on Eren would backfire so bad. In that split of a second before he threw you off, his neck and face completely flushed an angry red, Eren looked absolutely ready to devour you. Desire is a dangerous look on him.
From across the room, you catch Reinerâs eyes. Mischief glints in them as he raises his cup in mock salute to you, presenting himself to be the true pyromaniac all along.
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âIâm going to escape these Walls. Thatâs my dream. Mankind hasnât been wiped out yet. We deserve to be out there; we are free. We were born into this world to see it.â
When you turned, expecting to see Eren because you so clearly remember him saying those exact words at the graduation ceremony, you saw Emil sitting by your side instead. His eyes were closed, his long, pale lashes resting against his high cheekbones. You remembered how often he said that word, but you didnât fully understand what he meant.
âWhat is freedom?â you asked, burrowing your bare toes into the warm soil.
Emil kept his eyes closed. He picked a flower and placed it on his lips. Youâd never wished so hard in your life to be able to turn into a flower. He was lying next to you, his fingers resting interwoven on his chest. âIt means to do and feel what you want without anyone holding you back or stopping you.â
âThat sounds great.â You looked out at the riverbed. It seemed to sparkle more than usual today. âWe could get there, one day. It doesnât sound all that hard.â
âYou think?â Emil opened his eyes and looked up at you. His eyes twinkled just like the river. âLook around. All these flowers. Who do they belong to?â
âHm ⌠nobody? Everyone!â
âFair enough. Then, pick one that you really like.â
When you looked around, searching for forget-me-not, you spotted a nine-petalled, white flower stretching its small head towards you. âThis one,â you said, pointing at it.
Emil made a small sound at the back of his throat. When you turned to him, he was already staring somewhere else, but he looked as though heâd swallowed something sharp. He bent over and ripped the flower out of the ground. âThis,â he said, âis my flower now. Even though you really want it. What will you do now?â
âAsk you nicely to give it to me. Because I know you will.â
Emil smiled at that. âPretend I am not someone nice. Pretend I am someone who is a bad person.â
âNot you.â Your reply came immediately. âNot ever.â
âThen, Marianne,â he continued, and like you knew he would, he put the flower behind your ear, brushing his knuckles along your cheek. âIf it were Marianne who took what you wanted, what would you do?â
You pulled a face. âLeave her, I guess. She can have it. But Iâd be very sad.â
âExactly. She is free to do what she wants, and what she wants is to take this flower. And even though you want it too, only stealing it back from her would make you happy. Because you as well are free to do what you want.â
Your head spun from the possibilities. Emil squeezed your hand. âAnd what ifâŚ,â he continued in a voice that was utterly unfamiliar to you, ââŚwhat if what you want is to hurt others?â
âItâs wrong.â
Emil chuckled. âSays who?â
âItâs ⌠itâs common sense,â you tried to argue, but it sounded weak and naive even to your own ears.
âCommon sense dictates we do not kill, we do not steal. Did you know there are people living underground who have never seen the sky? Who are not allowed to come up here and enjoy the fresh air? Enjoy the feeling of the sun. They kill and steal to survive. Is that still wrong? To do what you need to do to survive?â
You grew very silent. Listening to Emil, he almost seemed like a different person.
âLook at these walls.â Emil looked up. The warmth in his eyes disappeared. âWe want to go outside, see the world. But we canât. Because there are Titans outside. Because there are enemies outside these Walls. Itâs unfair, isnât it?â
âBut these Walls protect us,â you shot back. âWithout them, Titans would come in and eat us.â
âI suppose that is true. Sometimes, I just wonder ⌠if they as well simply do not have a choice.â
âWhich meansâŚâ you said slowly, realisation dawning, âTitans ⌠arenât free?â
The corner of Emilâs mouth pulled up in a rueful smile. His eyes were almost sorrowful. âI suppose ⌠if they feel anything at all.â
âYouâre always on top of those things, Emil,â you marvelled, squeezing his hand back. âYouâre kind and so full of sympathy for everyone and everything. See, thatâs why you could never be a bad person.â
The warmth returned to his eyes, lightening them up to the colour of the early morning sky. âIf you say so, then it must be true.â
Before you could forget it, feeling the soft petals of the flower tickling your cheek, you asked, âBy the way, what flower is this? I always see it on you.â
And for the first time since you had known him, Emil lied to you: âI donât know.â
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You have a feeling the headache pounding at the back of your head the next morning isnât solely because of the booze escapade the night before. Your body doesnât feel as weary and heavy as the day after May Day a week ago, this type of lethargy is a different kind. You pin it on the upcoming events later in the day, and focus on your current task organising everything for the cannon maintenance at the top of Wall Rose.
Marco has been quietly helping you with that for some time. The creases on his forehead run deeper than the canyons cutting into the earth south of Wall Rose. Everything points to the source of his concern being Jean, currently occupied checking the gas stock for the cylinders, still, you ask the million coins question: âHave you spoken to Jean yet?â
As though heâs been waiting for you to ask that, his reply comes immediately: âIâll talk to him later. After the preparations. I asked him to wait for me in the backyard at HQ. Before we head off to Sina.â He shrugs. âOr maybe we wonât head off. Iâm not sure how to tackle that exactly.â
You think of how much value Jean puts into Marcoâs opinion; how he eats up Marcoâs words right up like a starving man.
âI donât think it matters how. You got this. Heâll listen if itâs you, Marco.â
Marco stays silent. He clears his throat when he notices you staring at him, and gives you a wry smile. âWeâre talking about Jean here. He can be as stubborn as you.â
âI could beat him up for you. Make him listen.â
The wry smile turns into a full-blown grin. He puts a little more enthusiasm into helping you secure the crates with ropes onto the wooden platform that lifts you up to the top of the Outer Wall. You like this Marco better than the sombre one. You continue working like that for some time until everything is loaded onto the platform and you give Marco the sign to turn on the mechanism that lifts you up.
âYou ever wonder,â he says suddenly, thumb resting on the button. When he looks at you, it feels a little as though heâs seeing through you. â⌠if what we want and what we need are different things?â
You wait for him to continue when you realise he doesnât mean it as a rhetorical question. âI think itâs enough sometimes to settle for what we want. We might never know what we need.â
âMaybe,â sighs Marco. âBut what if the moment is there all of a sudden and you have to make a decision?â He kneads the back of his neck, then shakes his head like a puppy shaking water off its fur, trying to disperse his thoughts. âIâm talking nonsense, sorry. Today is hard enough on most of us. Iâll see you later for the distribution banquet.â He doesnât give you a chance to respond and presses the button. With a jolt, the platform rises, and you hold onto a crate, watching as Marco grows smaller and smaller. He salutes up to you by putting two fingers to his temple. You wave back, trying to swallow around the lump in your throat.
Maybe that was his try at convincing you to change your path as well. It would be great, staying together like this for the next few years until it is time to discharge. But somehow you doubt it would be that easy to convince Jean otherwise, and youâve already made yourself acquainted with Trostâs Garrison unit and its captain, Hannes. Of course, now that you wonât see him for some time, you find a better answer for Marcoâs question: That sometimes, you settle for what you can get. That you canât have it all.
On top of the wall, Connie is the first to greet you. âWe got worried you two bailed on us,â he says, immediately tackling the ropes and disentangling them from the crates. The rest of the group is already maintaining the canons and cleaning them up. Whoever was on duty to supervise you, theyâre nowhere in sight.
âSorry, we lost track of time chatting.â You help him carry the necessary instruments and tools. When Mina sees you, her face lights up and she says something to Thomas. He looks over and grins. Sasha looks over and grins, too. It feels as though theyâre all in on a conspiracy and youâre the only one left out, radiating a fervent energy that is like a flame jumping from source to source.
âWhatâs up with everyone?â you ask Connie.
He drops a crate, ignoring the rattling inside it and dusts himself down. âTheyâre just excited âcause Sasha swiped some meat from the pantry.â
âShe did?â You rivet your eyes on her until she notices your stare. Holding your hand up in an OK-sign, she grins and throws a hand up in return. Mina squeaksâand maybe that is a little too much excitement for something as simple as that, which should have given you reason to wonder. Connie sniffs indiscreetly. âOh, and we���re all gonna join the Scouts.â
You drop your hand and stare at him. âYouâre joking.â
âNuh-uh. I guess Erenâs little speech yesterday left an impression on us all.â He shrugs, as though a decision like that is not worth the hustle. You want to take him by his shoulders and smack his head against a wall. By divine intervention or just honed survival instinct, he decides just then to join the others and leave to your crisis.
They must think youâll join the Survey Corps as well. But this isnât how itâs supposed to happen. You donât just decide something like that in the spur of the moment. âWhat if the moment is there all of a sudden and you have to make a decision?â You wonder if Marco is in on this, and itâs all a huge conspiracy.
You take a step forward to set things right, and maybe give Mina a good shake to remind her this isnât what you two agreed upon, this isnât what you two wantedâ
The sight is breathtaking.
It is your second time on top of the wall. Cadets are usually allowed only after their graduation because Shadis doesnât trust you not to kill yourself by stumbling off the edge. Maybe itâs the final step for him to recognise his fledglings have grown into hunting birds capable of soaring through the skies and every year he pushes that as far away as possible.
The sight never ceases to amaze you. All along the horizon, mountains rise and fall in full splendid, covered with forests and cut through my glistening lakes and rivers. Giant, stark-white clouds rise behind them and paint the blue horizon with a severe beauty that has you shuddering with the realisation how close you are to the sky.
This is it. The sight Emil has always dreamt of, that he had longed to see for himself. The endless world; to leave the small cage and see the big world. The thought makes your heart race with wonder and excitement and fearâall after just seeing the possibility.
What if, what if, what if ⌠what we want and what we need are different things?
âHey, be careful.â Erenâs voice is like an anchor pulling you back to the present. You havenât noticed him approaching, but now heâs standing close to you.
When you look at him, you blink until the sting at the back of your eyes disappears. âThe windâs really something up here, huh,â you say, rubbing your eyes dry.
Erenâs jaw works for a moment before he turns and takes the world in. âYeah,â he mumbles. âItâs something.â
It feels like no more words are needed. He gets it.
âYou have to tell me,â you mumble. âWhat youâll find beyond the horizon. Okay? Whenever you leave to kick Titansâ asses, you have to come back and tell me.â
Eren turns to you. The wind tears at his hair, but he stands firmly. Nothing can throw him off. âOf course Iâll come back,â he says like itâs nothing. He doesnât know what this promise untethers inside you. Your knees wobble. It feels as though you have peeled back every layer of your hopes and fears and dreams and laid them bare before him. The weight of your heart seems to tear you apart with the words that you wish you could say. And for a time there is timelessness; endless stillness that holds the picture that is you two standing at the edge of the world stretching across the horizon when overhead, lightning in the sky turns the world white and summons the Destroyer of Worlds.
As you stare into the eyes of the Colossal Titan, stomach roiling with panic, you canât help but notice, distantly, how human its eyes seem.
A/N: Todayâs The Amazing Devilâs song Iâm shoving down your throats: Not Yet / Love Run (Reprise)
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Taglist: @arisu003, @brooki, @prttyangelbaby, @honeylmnade, @berriesandcrem
#aot x reader#aot x you#aot x y/n#snk x reader#snk x you#snk x y/n#eren x reader#eren x you#eren x y/n#eren jaeger x reader#eren yeager x reader#phill.swyaatl#swyaatl
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