#harley with a bazooka: HOLD ME

[forthegothicheroine]

I like the idea of a Harley Quinn who's trying to be an antihero but isn't very good at it. "Hey, Wonder Woman's in town, I'll go ask to be her sidekick! After I physically rip the diamond necklace off that lady who got out of the limousine." Or, "Alright, Batsy, I promise, no killing again. Hey, did that guy just catcall me? Hold on, I gotta get the bazooka out!"

[whetstonefires]

okay but in the version of Flashpoint Batman-and-Joker that isn't just gratuitously shitty, Harley Quinn still gets sucked into the Joker's crazy spiral

but now it's Martha Wayne.

and i'm engaging with this on two levels because otoh the Joker being like "oh harley~~!" and Harley popping up with her themed bazooka like "yes mom? :D" is really fucking funny.

but on the other hand, the levels of character angst involved here are really quite dense.

like. i don't hold with the recent retcons about Harley having decent parents, I'm absolutely certain she was emotionally battered growing up, the character was built up around this assumption for ages, come on.

and meanwhile Martha's over here having somehow achieved reality-warping levels of insanity because her kid was murdered.

so Martha!joker isn't coming in the side on the self-worth issues normal Joker played on to subborn Harley, she's jumping right in at the source, she took 'tell me about your parents' and turned it right back around on her.

but at the same time, having a parent-child shtick puts harley right in at the heart of this joker's issues in a way she normally isn't--of course, this joker has a heart to her issues which can be localized and focused on and built out from, which makes her fundamentally different from the normal run of the character, as i've discussed before.

(this in many ways makes her a failure as a Joker but they're interesting ways, which of course DC never engaged with for the same reason they did it, the reason they keep fucking up their lady jokers by female-coding them so hard they lose the ability to everyman, but that's another rant.)

anyway martha!joker is going to be way more genuinely attached to harley than standard joker is, but i'm sure she'll also be awful and gaslighty and have frequent fits of punishing her for not being bruce. because joker. terrible mom isn't a huge improvement on terrible boyfriend.

but flashpoint batman's face the first time he hears harley call the joker 'mom.' priceless.

'you adopted your therapist.'

'you adopted the child who stole your tires and his mother and an acrobat and a mute assassin and your next door neighbor and a nurse and Talia al Ghul, i don't want to hear about it.'

[v01d-ch1ld]

If Bitterness is My Cancer, Fire is My Cure

If Bitterness Is My Cancer, Fire Is My Cure

              Sirens could be heard in the distance, the flames licking the sky, shrapnel everywhere it was glorious! The night was ablaze with fire and screams, and the aching in her head finally eased. The voice was pleased with the current spectacle and Rebecca was in no position to deny it anything if she wanted to maintain basic mental faculties. Her father was laughing just about as loud as she was as she danced while singing “Funhouse” by P!nk. People were running in all directions, cars were crashed in the middle of the road, and another explosion rang through the Gotham night. The violence inspired a new fit of giggles from Joker, Harley, and the Jester. Her new name sealed her fate. She smiled her wider than normal smile and leered at the frightened civilians. She was enjoying this. She was enjoying this. The adrenaline coursed through her veins lighting up her senses, making everything brighter and sharper than before.

             Flames licked at what was her old apartment. She was done with that life and this was the last step in becoming what she was meant to be: free. Her feelings were shallow, and she could only keep up the happy face for so long. Laughter turned to open tears as she broke down inside, the last fragile remnants of her sanity being severely taxed. That was her life. She was happy and now she can never have it back. A part of her was mourning while the other part was laughing.  On her knees, she cried in the center of the chaos around her. The Joker looked on his protégé without emotion as she shed the last of her normalcy down her pale cheeks. He felt almost nothing looking on at the beast that he created mourn the civility it once had. Bitterness was raging inside his heart for the life he left behind, the family he was denied, the love that left him, the child that denounced him, and the God that forsook him. He felt no pity toward the wayward monster crying in the street, only happiness because he took back something that he had lost. She was like a child’s toy to him.

             It had almost been two years since Rebecca went missing and, on this night, she died. There would be no funeral procession, no priest, no coffin, and no grave. She died with the exhalation of breath and smoke into the sky and flames burning her a funeral pyre. From the ashes, came a new being, the Jester a creature of pure pain and malice. There was no sympathy, no feeling, just emptiness, and self-satisfaction. Jester stood up, laughing once more, and got another bomb threw it into another building and howled when it blew, sending debris and broken burned bodies everywhere.

             “Gotham is going to burn tonight!” She shrieked, twirling around. Joker looked on at the spectacle of the monster he created revealing in her newfound power of lawlessness and chaos. He was almost proud in a way.

             Fire trucks came rushing down the streets, screaming along with them were police sirens. On the other side of Gotham Batman was getting a police signal. Arson in the Narrows. He rolled his eyes and turned back to the Bat Computer because he thought the fire department could handle it, but he kept it on in case things complicated themselves. Then the words “Joker” “girl” “psychopath” “advanced civilian casualties”, and “bombs” came in through the transmission and he was set on his feet hard staring the police radio. By now, the Bat signal was up for sure. Damian was out of town with the Titans and had been for weeks. Tim came down the elevator in costume already, but without his mask.

             Tim looked like he hadn’t slept in a century, which was close to the truth. He grabbed his gauntlets, mask, and bo staff from his corner of the cave. After him, Nightwing came down without a word. Things were still tense between them and Bruce, but Dick was at least allowed back in Gotham after Rebecca had been pronounced dead. Dick got on his bike and left without a word. Tim got in the Batmobile proceeded to tap on his wrist computer. Bruce sighed pulled down his cowl and got in the driver’s seat, tearing rubber after Dick. Sometime between the mansion and the Narrows another motorcycle made up the procession to the crime scene.

Jason had been relatively missing except for a few bloodbaths in the last few months but he sped behind the Batmobile and popped a wheelie. The Red Hood looked like he meant business, more guns on him than usual and it looked as though he had procured some new toys. The plumes of black smoke guiding them to where Jester was having her debut bash.

At the scene of the crime, the police and Jester and Joker plus their goons were in what was basically a small war. Joker gas was flying over cars and tear gas came flying back. Volleys of bullets were being exchanged between officers behind riot shields and Joker gang behind cars with gas masks on. Jester was shooting with the advanced precision the tutelage of Deadshot can get you. Her .50 caliber custom purple and green pistols were tearing through the small blockade of officers. Joker was lobbing gas grenades and calculating an escape route, Harley was shooting her bazooka, creating a diversion for Joker to sort a way out of this. The many henchmen were trying to stay alive and watch for the Bat. Officers were unable to get back up due to Joker and company blocking the only route that it could come from due to the wreckage behind them, and they were also scrambling to keep civilians away from the danger zone. Gordon was in back trying to strategize how they were going to take down the Clown Prince of Crime, his Princess, and his whore.

Jim Gordon wasn’t a fool. He knew that there was no way to put this down without the help of the Bats. He just hoped that they would hurry. More and more property was being damaged and more and more officers were dying with every minute. Suddenly, there he was: Batman and three of the four of his entourage.

“Hello, Commissioner Gordon.” Batman greeted his friend. Nightwing was on top of a police car trying to gauge the enemy, Red Robin was calling Batwoman and Robin for backup and Red Hood was loading his guns with rubber bullets, per his agreement with Batman, and putting his hollow pointe magazines in his pockets for safe keeping.

“Thank the stars you’re here. The Joker came here with Harley and a new girl and they lit the place up and then the new girl began to blow up other buildings in the vicinity. She is just as crazy as Joker and extremely lethal. She has been laughing that horrible laugh all night,” Batman looks over to see Jester in near convulsions laughing as she shoots with deadly accuracy, “They have Joker venom gas grenades as well as bombs and we have been doing all we can just to hold them here.” Batman nods.

Nightwing calls out, Jester just disappeared. Then a bullet comes dangerously close to nailing the Commissioner in the head. Batman tackles him to the ground just as Red Hood uses his helmet’s head’s up display to see that the Jester has taken a sniping position on top of one of the buildings that aren’t burning. Red Hood then runs through the burning cars and wreckage to find a fire escape, leaving the others to deal with the Joker and Harley Quinn. This new chick was good. He needed to know how good if he was going to kill her. Switching to his hollow bullets her made his way up the fire escape of a building that was adjacent to the one that Jester was firing from. Making it to the roof he takes aim and fires, but she moves right as he takes the shot, the bullet missing by millimeters. She takes out her .50 caliber pistols loaded with mercury charge bullets. Of the two the mercury charge was the more lethal. Both had exploding bullets, but the mercury fulminate acted like a crystal of pure nitro in the center of the bullet, actually exploding inside the body instead of shattering causing about double the damage of a normal hollow bullet. Jason figured this out when he dodged and the ac unit behind him imploded, almost blowing him clear off the ledge.

“Hey! You have good aim, but I bet you that I’m better!” Jester called to the vigilante hanging off the side of the roof. He pulled himself up and back on to the roof.

“Trust me, honey, you don’t want to put up that kind of wager with me.” Red Hood barked back.

“You’re all bark and no bite, babe, I’ll have you ragged and bloody in five shots. Bet.” She smirked. Tossing her short hair over her shoulder and unholstering her other pistol from her left shoulder.

“You’re on! But don’t say I didn’t warn you. It’s a shame to have to ruin- AGH!” He was cut off by a bullet in the shoulder. The pain was blinding, and he knew that arm was completely out of commission despite the adrenaline coursing through his veins in alarming volume. Switching to his left pistol, he took aim and fired.

             “FUCK! That hurt!” A bullet had caught her in the calf of her left leg while she was trying to dodge. She put a bullet into his thigh and hit behind some scaffolding. The bullet was hollow, so she pulled out what she could and prayed that the rest wouldn’t hit her bloodstream for the next ten minutes, otherwise she was fucked.

             Thunder cracked, and the rain came down in sheets. Drenched and irritated, Red Hood leaped onto Jester’s roof. He walked over to where she ducked and found nothing. Two gunshots, two bullets in his torso. Whipping around at speeds not good for his now busted ribs, he saw only a pair of high heels disappear behind a ventilation unit.

             “One shot left, sweetheart,” he looked around,” and I know that you won’t do it!”

             “Bet,” came from behind his ear before blinding pain and the sound of something shattering. His helmet lay broken on the rooftop. She had hit the butt of her gun right into the crown of his head. Dizzy, he looked around with his gun cocked hoping to get another shot in before he had to retreat. His legs were swept from under him and he looked up to see her with a gun to his forehead. Jason was cocky and looked her straight in the face. He wasn’t scared of death.

             Rebecca was in shock. Jason. Jason. The Red Hood was Jason Todd. Memories painfully burst in her brain, overwhelming her. She screamed and collapsed as her head felt like someone was spreading acid into her neural synapses. Curling into the fetal position she started to wail like someone going through the worst torture possible. For her, it was. She had just tried to kill the last ground she had to stand on. Jester in her brain was elated but she was horrified. She had just tried to kill the last thing she had to love in this world. She was going to go stalk him tonight as she had been for weeks. Just to make sure he was okay. But now she could only scream as memories buried under a year of torture came warring to the surface.

             Jason had no idea what to do. He hadn’t even touched her, and she was screaming her head off. He was pretty sure she was crying. His leg collapsed under him from blood loss, and from this vantage point, he could actually see her face up close. Through the ugly pallor and the dark circles around her eyes and the black lips, he could still see her. Rebecca. No. After all the Joker had done he still was always able to top himself. He made normal criminals look like misdemeanor offenders. This took child abuse to a whole new level. Jason swore.

             “This has to be a trick.” He said to himself

             “It isn’t,” said that horrible voice in the back of his head. It was right no matter what he had found in his years of vigilantism.      

             “Jason! H-help me.” Her voice came weakly through the tears. She curled in on herself tighter. There was no mistaking it. It was her in the flesh.

             “I will. I promise.” He picked himself up off the flooded roof and looked down at the pool of bloody water surrounding them. It looked like a murder scene. He hooked a grapple onto the other roof and swung down, leaving her up there to bleed.

             Jason collapsed on top of the Batmobile. Harley Quinn was inside and unconscious. In a grand show of endurance, he peeled himself up off the hood and limped over to where Dick was ducking from bullets.

             “Dick.” He called softly. It was forbidden to use each other’s real names while they were in costume per Bruce’s rules, but he figured now was a good time to bend the rules a little.

             “What happened to you?” Dick looked concerned for his little brother. He was bleeding through four bullet holes and there was a steady stream of blood coming from his mouth.

             “I-I found her. Rebecca.” He gasped out before he was forcibly hunched over in a coughing fit. “Jester s-she is Becca. I shot her. She’s up on the roof.”

             Dick was flabbergasted. Everyone thought she had been dead for months. It had been two years since she went missing. He and the others had mourned for her. Now he finds out she is alive and bleeding on a roof. He nods to Jason and grapples up to the roof, avoiding bullets from all sides on his way up to rescue his little sister.

             Jason chuckled to himself. His life was such a clusterfuck. Smiling, he heard Tim calling to him as he passed out.

 Tags: @nxttime @dcuniversefanatic @dcdweeb @ravennightingaleandavatempus

[jokers-sweethearts]

So, I just found out that a few friends of mine was in a car accident. And a little over a year ago, my best friend was in an accident. They're all fine, which I am thankful for! But now, since I had just got my license 4 months ago, I'm scared to be on the road and my anxiety makes me overthink everything. I was wondering what Joker and Harley would do if CP were in my position? (Like if CPs close friend were in an accident and she was scared) Sorry if this is too dark or anything like that!

First off I’m very sorry to hear that your friends went through that doll :( I’m glad they’re okay. And you don’t have to apologize for anything being dark I gladly take all questions covering any content. Joker and Harley would instill in her the mindset that she doesn’t have to obey the laws or be considerate of anyone else on the road. Because they themselves are not. Joker would go out into the roads and Harley would bring her bazooka to blow up every other car out there. Just so their daughter can drive freely through without worrying about other people. For a while I see Joker making his goons form a motorcade around her as she drove for the first few months to make her feel better. Joker would even share her anxieties with her, although he’d never admit it, he’d also be worried about other people on the road hurting her.So he’d take on the liberty and drive her around himself. Or if it made her feel better, I even see her sitting on Harley’s or Joker’s lap so she could control the wheel but they would still be able to take hold of the situation. Most importantly though, Harley does love her training in psychology and using it, but the place she would use it for good would be with her family. She’d help her daughter through her anxiety maybe in therapy sessions like she did with Joker.