#haribo shut up

[haribojam]

I was looking at model sheets again and uh

[haribojam]

Right here!!!

Hey, where’s my Bugaloos fandom at?

[thisismeracing]

More than friends | LH44

―Pairing: Lewis Hamilton x fem!reader ―Warnings: curse words, mentions of food, and typos; ―Summary: You're friends with Lewis, but fans don't buy the "just friends" discourse - for them, you and Lewis make the most powerful couple, even if you're not famous. And maybe they're right, maybe you're supposed to be more than friends. (based on this request).

▸ my masterlist | my taglist | patreon guide ▸ support my writing by reblogging, leaving a comment (don’t forget to follow me if you like the piece), or buying me a coffee

yourusername

liked by yourbestie, lewishamilton, and others

yourusername went for coffee/reading with the bestie, but of course, we ended up yapping about everything and only reading two sentences 😁

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angryschumacher they just like me and my bestie except they’re more cute and would make a great couple 👀

grandpierre can you imagine being bestie with lewis freaking hamilton?! 😭

leclerccrown what are you reading, yn?

⤷ yourusername crooked plows by itamar vieira junior! :)

yourbestie can I borrow those shoes for a date this weekend?? 🙏

lewishamilton worst matcha I’ve ever had 🤢

⤷ yourusername youre just not used to the flavors! It was deliciou

⤷ lewishamilton it probably was, but right before you added tons of sugar and what else 🥴

⤷ yourusername shut up 😡

⤷ lewishamilton I just don’t need extra sugar when you’re around, sweetie

⤷ tifosikimi am I sensing some flirting? 👁️🫦👁️

⤷ tiredtyres tifosikimi I don’t think so, me and my bestie banter like this but we consider each other siblings

harrietdirection her hair is so shiny, her skin is so glowy, she’s so humble and simple and sweet and pretty can lewis share her with the fandom pls

lewishamilton

liked by georgerussell63, dualipa, and others

lewishamilton recharging for next weekend 💛

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likedbypierregasly this looks like such a romantic dump, the kind of dump one would post with…I dunno…their girlfriend 👀

biebertsunoda I wanna be her so bad

yourusername 💛

⤷ keepingupwf1 yeah bestie Im at a loss of words too

mickschumacher Angie is questioning me about play dates with roscoe!!

⤷ roscoelovescoco 😍 Is miss Angies too

⤷ yourusername how about tomorrow before media duty??

⤷ mickschumacher sounds great! 🤝

⤷ zhoulovers she’s roscoe’s mom, change my mind

elitebarzal oh to spend a weekend recharging beside lewis and roscoe 😭

zendaya 😍😍😍

yourusername

liked by lilymhe, lewisfan, and others

yourusername productive Friday at work 🤓

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redsainz who choose these boots? I bet it was lewis

oconnected they're so powerful together, you can see bits and bits of the other in them 🩷

mickschumacher glad you enjoyed the haribo! 😌

⤷ yourusername my new fav candy!!! 😌

lewishamilton nice fit 😏

⤷ yourusername you like it? a friend set it up for me 😎

⤷ redsainz told you guys he was to one to piece it together!!!!

bonosmicrophone its the way mick, lily, alex, george, and so on constantly interact with her 🥹🥹

dollarsainz lewishamilton can I date her?

⤷ lewishamilton nah, she’s already taken

⤷ leclerccar WHAT?,mKVNWNCJSJJCJSD

lewishamilton & yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris, and others

lewishamilton guess we were always meant to be more ❤️

view all comments

yourusername fitting together like the perfect pair of legos 💘 you're forever my best friend, I love you

⤷ lewishamilton I love you forever

⤷ schumickey 😭forever😭my😭best😭friend😭

rizzhou most powerful paddock couple!

yukiyukiyuki everything about these pics gives wholesome heartdly in love vibe 🥹

charles_leclerc finally, guys!!!!! ❤️

georgerussell63 it was about time!

alex_albon lily is asking for another double date (please Yn don’t steal my girl 😭)

⤷ lilymhe too late, babes 😁

mercedesamgf1 😍😍 we’be been rooting for this since the beginning!

⤷ formulainchident even admin!!!!

scuderiaferrari Yn, we already have your special headphones and shirt ready! 🫵❤️

norrisrizz I want what they have, I wanna be her, I wanna be him, I wanna be their dog, I-

────── ⋆🪩 VOICEMAIL: Hi! I hope you guys liked this piece! :D as usual, reblogs and comments are extremely appreciated. don't forget to let me know your thoughts!

If you liked this piece and want early access to new ones and exclusive access to others, subscribe to my patreon!💘

▸ check my main masterlist | patreon guide and my taglist.

taglist: @sachaa-ff @mickslover @mishaandthebrits @fdl305 @iloveyou3000morgan @crimeshowjunkie @saintslewis @carojasmin2204 @chaoticevilbakugo @wondergirl101ks @smiithys @shhhchriss @f1kota @lunnnix @karmabyfernando @crashingwavesofeuphoria @schumacheer @callsign-scully @dearxcherry @elliegrey2803 @peachiicherries @he6rtshaker @therealcap @mehrmonga @the-depressed-fellow @cixrosie @darleneslane @buckybarnessweetheart @nichmeddar @fastcarsandshit @balekanemohafe @jamie2305 @nzygftoji @leclercsluv @graciewrote @alessioayla @littlesatanicassholebitch @barcelonaloverf1life @noncannonships @fanboyluvr @is-just-a @love4lando @woozarts @namgification @formulaal @v1naco @skepvids @khaylin27 @bernelflo @fakehappy27

©thisismeracing ― do not copy, steal, or translate my work; do not repost on a different media platform.

― Reminder: None of the pictures used are mine, they are all from Pinterest and other apps, but the work is, and I do not allow it to be published on a different platform. I would appreciate it if those things could be taken into consideration 💛

[woso-dreamzzz]

My Wife

Andrea Medina x Reader

Summary: You've known Andrea for a very long time

The first day you met Andrea Medina, you got married.

It was out in the schoolyard. It was your first day and she came bounding up to you, took your hand and said she was going to marry you.

You were shy so you agreed and you got married to her under the apple tree.

You remained by her side for most of your life. You couldn't even remember what it was like without her.

You were joined at the hip throughout your childhood. You would wait outside of training for her after school so you could get the bus back together. She would hang behind when you went to the library to study. You walked hand in hand everywhere together.

When people questioned it, Andrea would always respond the same way," I married her under the apple tree. I'm just being a good wife."

When you first married her, she gave you a Haribo ring to symbolise your love. It had been eaten by the end of the day.

She gave you a paper ring next. You wore it for weeks on end until one day it was raining and it ripped, falling straight off your finger.

After that came Andrea's own mother's wedding ring, which she had slipped off the woman's finger when she was asleep and brought into school for you. Your parents made you give it back though and Andrea just started holding your hand more in answer.

It was somewhat of a tradition, every year, to find an apple tree and get 'married' all over again. It started off as a cute thing little kids did but feelings developed almost as soon as you both hit puberty.

The change from best friends to girlfriends happened seamlessly for you both and soon Andrea was introducing you to everyone she could like she was bragging about something special.

"Hi, Miss Gallardo!" You said as you waited in the stands for Andrea to finish training.

"How many times have I said it? You don't need to call me Miss Gallardo. Lola is just fine."

Your face went a little red at the correction. "Right. Yes. Sorry, Miss Lola."

Lola groaned good naturedly, shaking her head fondly at you. "Andrea!" She yelled," Your girlfriend's here!"

Usually, after you finished your university classes, you would head straight to training to see Andrea so you were a very familiar sight to see waiting.

"She's not my girlfriend!" Andrea yelled back," She's my wife!"

Lola laughed, tucking you under her arm as she walked you over to your girlfriend. "No ring on her finger, no wife."

"She ate the first one!" Andrea complained, an arm coming out to wrap around your waist.

"It was very sweet," You replied, pressing a kiss to her cheek," And she did get me a ring." You pulled up the silver chain around your neck so Lola could see the ring hanging from it.

She rolled her eyes. "A promise ring isn't a wedding ring. It's like a pre-engagement-ring ring."

"Hey!" Andrea said," Don't be rude about our love!"

Lola laughed. "God, what is it with you kids and speedrunning life? Football career, finding your forever girl. Slow down a bit. You're making the rest of us look bad."

"You don't really need help with that," Andrea teased.

"Be nice to Miss Lola," You said to her," She doesn't have to put up with you."

"Fine." Andrea kissed your cheek and squeezed your waist.

"You should stick around more, y/n. Can you come to practice every day? I've never seen her shut up so quickly."

"Happy wife, happy life," Andrea replied.

"Alright, lovebirds," Lola teased," Off you go. Go be sappy and disgusting elsewhere."

You pulled Andrea after you. She got changed and showered in record time and soon you were walking hand-in-hand down the street.

The walk back was like second nature and you leaned happily into Andrea's side as she took the lead, ducking into a little cafe to get a much needed coffee.

"My favourite married couple!" The old lady at the counter exclaimed as you both ordered.

Andrea grinned triumphantly, puffing her chest out like she did whenever someone mentioned your childhood marriage.

"Our favourite coffee maker!" You say back, putting a hefty tip in the jar.

With your coffees in hand, you and Andrea wandered through a park and up a hill. You dumped your bags just in front of the apple tree.

"Okay," Andrea said, taking your hands and pulling you to stand under it," Ready?"

"Ready."

She cleared her throat and, just like when she was younger and didn't fully understand weddings, said," I love you!"

"I love you too!"

"Marry me?"

"I do!"

"I do!"

She grinned, spinning you around. "I am going to marry you," She promised," Properly."

"Good," You said," Because I'm getting sick and tired of introducing you as my wife without a proper ring."

[haribojam]

I’m glad you didn’t use any of the pages or covers were the art style is basically ugly traced drawings of the partridges themselves

[modelbus]

I've done it guys I complied old writing bits and created a valentines post someone give me an AWARD. This is just gonna be a bunch of random snippets between reader and Tommy from their relationship <3 fluff for the day of love

Pairing: CC!Tommyinnit x Gn!Reader

Romantic Relations - Valentines Day Special

"Wait, I'm- why isn't the pickaxe working?" You ask, looking at chat for help.

MCC was stressful as it is, you didn't need your computer having a breakdown.

Tommy laughs. "You have to claim the pickaxe, love." He explains softly.

"Oh. Fuck. Chat, shut up. Shut the fuck up."

"Love." Wilbur scoffs. "I'm sickened."

"I will leak your address if you don't fuck off." Tommy threatens.

Wilbur mutes.

-

"Freddie, you IGL. You IGL." Tommy laughs, leaning back in his seat. From what you can see of his screen, he's floating in air which means he's dead. He turns to you, your entrance not as quiet as you thought. "You okay?"

"I just wanted a gummy snake." You shrug, approaching him.

With a smile, he tugs his headphones down around his neck. "But I bought these."

"Your mum bought them." You correct, reaching over his keyboard to grab one out of the packet.

Haribo twin snake gummies, his favorite. You had quite literally never heard of them before meeting him. He has a whole package to himself.

"They're still mine!"

"Tough shit then." You pop it into your mouth, smirking at his expression. "Gummy worm tax."

"The rest are mine."

"You're going to make yourself sick."

"Small price to pay for these. Wish us luck?"

"Good luck."

You snag another one before waltzing out of the room.

"I'm not saying that." Tommy laughs. "Fine! Wait! I've got a message for you!"

You pause, turning back to him with raised eyebrows. You know he's on call with both Eryn and Freddie so they definitely just said something stupid.

"Freddie and Eryn say hi."

"That is definitely not what they said."

"That's the important bit, don't worry." His head snaps to his computer, eyes going wide. "Eryn!"

"…okay then."

You duck out of his room, another snake gummy hidden away in your hand. What a fool.

-

Tommy's in the room three seconds after you scream, eyes wide with his phone in hand. Another second and he's next to you, worried.

"What? What happened?"

"There's a fucking bug in the bed." You say, never taking your eyes off the bug.

Screaming might've been an overreaction but it jumped at you! Bugs weren't meant to jump! You were perfectly sane for screaming.

"There's a- what the fuck?" Tommy laughs. "You screamed because there was a bug?"

"IN THE BED!"

"I thought you were getting murdered!"

"I was! By this fucking bug!"

For dramatic effect you point at it. The sudden movement must startle it or something because it jumps again, making you flinch backwards.

Tommy's laughing louder now, placing his hands on your shoulders and lightly pushing you towards it.

"It wants to say hello!"

"NO! I DON'T WANT TO SAY HELLO TO IT!"

You duck out from his hands, crossing the room. "Kill it." You demand.

"It's just a friendly little fellow! Hello bug!"

"Kill it or I will move out right now."

Tommy pouts, catching the weird bug in his hands. "Come on, he's my new friend!"

"Kill. It."

"Say hello to it first."

Little shit. Fucking asshole.

You cross your arms, an empathetic no. Tommy laughs harder, opening the window and dumping the bug outside.

"Gone." He announces. "Fucking hell."

"Thank you."

"Big man Tom Simons saves the day yet again."

"My hero." You fake swoon, holding a hand to your head.

"I recorded that entire thing, so I'm putting it on Twitter."

"IF YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT IT-"

-

"I am not your crutch." You say, but don't move as Tommy puts a hand on your shoulder and uses you for balance as he wipes off his feet.

"Just stay still."

"I'm trying!"

He brushes off the sand before sliding his foot into his shoe, then moving onto the next foot.

"Hurry up." You sigh.

"I'm trying! Okay, okay, done."

"I can't believe you got that much sand on your feet-"

"You're about to have some fucking sand in your face!"

"Hey!"

-

"It's nice making them do all the work, isn't it?" Shelby asks, giggling as Tommy fake-lurches and acts like he's about to drop their food.

"Definitely." You agree, smiling at your boyfriend.

Wilbur isn't far behind Tommy, paying for all the food. They didn't order much, but you couldn't tell that from the way Tommy was acting.

Shelby was filming a "week in the life of" vlog, so you decided to all meet up and help her out with some content. You would do one, but you're not much of a YouTuber. Besides, Tommy's already done two since you've lived with him.

"Although if he actually drops that stuff Wilbur will kill him." You add.

"Oh, no doubt."

"Shelby Shubble!" Tommy calls out. "Shelby Shubble, why are you not filming me? I can be the star of the video!"

"I know! And that's why I've got to keep you minimized!" She exclaims.

"Me? Minimized?!"

Tommy sets down two drinks in front of you. One's yours, and the other is his. Both cokes, seeing as that's the superior brand.

The bag he drops in front of you is, again, both of your foods. McDonalds: putting multiple orders in one bag since it opened.

"Thanks, Toms."

He practically flings himself into the booth next to you, collapsing on your shoulder dramatically.

"I went through hell to get the food to you! Hell!"

Shelby starts laughing, and you roll your eyes. "Oh yeah? Did you see the devil?"

"I did! I did!"

"What'd he say?"

"He sounded a lot like Wilbur Soot—funny, that—and he said: 'Tom! Tom! You're the best man ever! The biggest! The only!' To which I obviously replied 'I have nothing on PhilzA Minecraft, thank you very much' but he didn't believe me!"

"Why not? PhilzA is the only man ever."

"He's the Devil, innit?" Tommy straightens suddenly. "Wait, you think Philza's the only man ever? Is he the best?"

"Well, if he's the only man ever…" Shelby jumps in. You nod along with the olders words, hiding your smile.

A hurt look comes onto Tommy's face, and he dramatically pouts at you both.

"Shelby Shubble, are you saying you'd pick Philza Minecraft me?" He waits for Shelby to nod before turning to you. "Aren't you dating me? Not Philza Minecraft?"

"Am I? I hadn't noticed." You hum, and Wilbur chooses this moment to come with his and Shelby's food.

"Wil!" Tommy exclaims. "Wil! I'm dating this bitch next to me, right?! Right?!"

"Uh-"

"So they should think I'm the best man ever!"

Wilbur's gaze sweeps over the three of you, and you try to imagine what he must see. Tommy, putting on the performance of a lifetime. Shelby, openly laughing behind a hand. And you, yrying and failing to hide your grin.

"I don't know, seems a bit controlling Tommy." Wilbur shrugs, taking his seat next to Shelby and handing over her things.

"Controlling?!"

Underneath the table, you nudge Tommy's hand with yours. Without missing a beat he entwines their fingers.

"Me? Controlling?" He continues.

Stealthily, you pick up a fry as he doesn't let up on his rant. Shelby nods, seeing your plan, and you throw it at him.

Tommy pauses, then bursts into laughter.

"What the fuck? You wasted a fry!"

At his words, the rest of their table goes up in a roar of laughter and happiness. Of course, the manager kicks them out for it, but it was so worth it.

[killersfool]

I Want You | ELIJAH HEWSON

PAIRING : elijah hewson x original f!character

GENRE: fluff, friends to lovers

SUMMARY: dahlia jenkinson, josh’s sister is asked to fill in as photographer at his bad’s concert. her plan is to ask him out by the end of the show as she’s been crushing on him for ever. what she doesn’t expect is that one of their songs was written about her—and she’s right there when he confesses it.

WORDS: 5.6k

WARNINGS: smoking, drinking, kissing

Friday. Underground. London.

I run through the station passing the endless people, posters and children's screams. My brother, Josh, had asked me yesterday to help out at his band's concert. He'd told me that their photographer had gotten COVID so he needed someone to fill in.

I dragged my roommate along with me as my moral support, seeing as she's heard me spill every secret in my mind about the band's lead singer, Elijah.  I've been helping Josh with his band's endeavours for years and have also had to condone countless sleepovers. I've had the sound of drumsticks crashing together engrained in my head by this point. Robyn has always told me to 'stop being a pussy and ask Eli out on a date' but honestly, I'm terrified I'll ruin everything. This photography thing has really helped to get me new jobs and more exposure.

"So, you still crushing on Eli?" Robyn asks. She's been glancing over at my phone for the past few minutes. I've been texting the band group chat that I've been added to. They usually kick me out randomly. This is the longest period of time I've been in it without having an argument. I'm pretty proud.

"Shut up." I scoff. "If you dare say anything to any of of them, I will kill you."

"I wouldn't," she laughs. I give her a look. "I'll try not to..."

"You and your big mouth."

"I can't help it."

"I shouldn't tell you things."

"Who else would you tell?" She grabs at my phone, noticing a message from Elijah pop up.

It reads: "Missed you. You've always been the better Jenkinson." I try to contain my smile at the stupid message. It's just a couple words beneath a name on a screen and I'm getting all nervous. It's pathetic. God, this is getting bad.

"That's cute," Robyn says and is about to start writing a message back until I snatch my phone back. Who knows what kind of bullshit she'd start sending. She'd surely send some terrible pictures of me. That's happened on many ocassions. I've learnt my lesson to never trust her with my phone.

"Cringe." I type back, although the smile on my face is betraying the words on the screen. I stare at his profile picture for a few seconds. It's a selfie of me and the band. I look half asleep, probably drunk. Eli's hair is all over his face and Josh is squeezing Ryan's cheeks. Bobby is just angrily staring at the camera. He definitely didn't want to be in that photo. It's sweet that Eli has kept his profile picture that way for so long. We haven't seen each other in months. I send another message, "Well you're not my favourite Hewson."

He sends an angry emoji. "Who is then?"

"Bono, course."

He sends a few more angry emojis before spamming the group chat. There is already some kind of argument happening. Robert seems to be late and they're all asking where he is. I switch my phone off, sliding it into my pocket. Robyn's been unusually quiet.

"What have you done this time?" I ask with a subtle tilt of my head. She's chewing on some haribos she'd bought moments ago. She then smirks to herself, "Nothing."

I'm a little worried but decide to brush it off. We leave the train station and I'm struck by the freezing air. I sometimes forget how cold England is. Having moved from Ireland over a year ago, I feel like I should've acclimatised. But, why is it always so cold? I hold my jacket closer to myself to try to warm up.

We pass at least ten people with 'I love London' shirts. Sounds of street sellers are familiar along with the hustle and bustle of late London nights. I see the London Eye twisting in the distance. Big ben is tolling. The venue comes into view a few streets away. I'm dreading it slightly. I feel as if I'm not going to cope this time seeing that ever-so-familiar face. It's as if with each passing month, he gets better looking. It should be crime. I'll probably melt when I see him.

I instead focus on seeing Josh and my excitement for seeing the gig. They've all really improved over the years. They really know how to put on a good show. Adrenaline rushes through my veins. It'll be fine. Surely.

"You're nervous, aren't you?" Robyn takes notice of me fiddling with my earrings. It's become some nervous habit. I find a comfort in twiddling the crystals between my fingers.

"A bit," I say. Honest. "What if he finds out? We'll surely get piss-drunk. What if he only wants to be mates?"

"Lia, darling, you've got to stop overthinking it. After hearing all these stories you've told me, it sounds like he likes you a lot," she says, grinning. "I'll tell you if I see any looks passed or anything suspicious, okay?"

"You're the best." I give her a hug, forgetting for a moment about the crowded streets around us. Robyn hugs are always too good to be true. I sometimes forget how unbelievably short she is and how she tries to suffocate me with her arms.

Just as we're about to continue down the endless streets, I see someone running past us. I barely even realise he's passed me until Robyn points him out. I see long, curly hair and a massive case swung over his shoulder. Bobby. Then, he turns to face us. Blue eyes catch me off guard then a massive grin. He seems to question whether he should stop or get to the venue. He's very late.

"Is that the bassist?" Robyn wonders. "Robert?"

"That's me," he says, retracing his steps. His mullet has gone all messy in the autumn wind. He's trying to swipe away a few stray hairs from out of his face. "Hey Dally. Who's this?" He points towards my friend with a lazy smile.

"This is Robyn. My roommate. She's the one who accidentally stepped on a pigeon."

"Ah." He then turns into his bird lover mode. "How could you do that to a poor, helpless bird? How could you? Can't believe you're called Robyn. That's a disgrace. Wish I was called Robyn. Or sparrow. Or some kind of bird. God, do I love birds—"

"Okay, Robert. We get it," I interrupt with a finger in the air. He crosses his arms over his chest, pouting. Robyn is laughing at his angered demeanour. He always puts on this irritated-sarcastic face in moments like this. He looks like a child after stepping on lego.

"Aren't you late?" Robyn asks the blue-eyed boy. His phone has been pinging with notification throughout the few minutes they have been walking together. He seems to be a little stressed. I have to almost run to keep up with this speed of impossibly long legs.

We approach the venue. It's a huge, pretty rundown building which strikes out in stark contrast to the fancy buildings around it. The words 'Inhaler:tonight' are written on a chalkboard beside the entrance. The place really matches the band for some reason. There's a queue of fans outside. A lot of them are sat down on the pavement. They scream at the sight of the bassist, piling around him. Phones are being held up to take pictures of him.

"Sorry guys, I've got to get inside. Thank you for coming," Robert mumbles.

Robyn and I act as body guards, preventing anyone from getting too close. Banners have been dropped onto the ground, passersby glance over in confusion. There's colourful cowboy hats covered with jewels everywhere. That music video really drove the world crazy. It definitely drove me crazy. I probably make up at least half of the views.

The majority of the crowd continue to take photos. Some say 'Oh my God, that's Josh's sister!' I give them a smile whilst simultaneously pushing Robert forwards.

We finally get to the back door. The gathering give up after a while. They go back to the queue, attempting to slot in to their previous place.

"Well, doors haven't opened yet so you can't be that late," I remark. The front doors are still locked.

"I'm missing sound check though."

I hear music booming quietly through the walls. I open the door, pressing down on it with fingertips. It creaks open to a long corridor with white plastered walls. It smells of fresh paint. The light is barely even attached to the ceiling. It looks like some horror film scene. Creepy.

But then Josh comes around the corner. His guitar is slung over his chest and his face lights up to reveal a huge smile that I've always adored. He's taller than the last time I've seen him. He runs straight towards me, engulfing me with his arms. I'm uncomfortably pressed against his guitar but I couldn't care less. I'm so glad I came. I missed him so much.

Robert slides past us and Robyn awkwardly stands in the doorway. I introduce her to my brother. He gives her a hug as well. She seems to enjoy this whole situation a lot. She's getting all loud and giddy.

The rest of the band are still playing through songs. They're running through 'Dublin In Ecstasy'. Elijah's voice is echoing through the entire building, sliding it's way through my skull. There's a part of me that wants to turn back. I could just make my way back to my apartment, have a cup of coffee and stalk Twitter accounts of people who went to the show. I definitely haven't been doing that for the past few months. I'm not that insane. Or obsessed.

"Do you want to listen to sound check or hang out back stage?" Josh asks us. He's been talking to Robyn, getting to know her and she seems to like him, thankfully. It'd be downright awkward if she hated his guts.

"I'll follow you," Robyn says to Josh. She starts to traipse down the corridor. I watch her curls bounce from side to side as she jumps with every step. She suddenly realises that she's left me behind. "You coming?"

I groan, staring at the door. "Yeah. Fuck it."

I pick up my camera in preparation. I've been using the same one for years. It's got stickers all over it. Some of random bands, some from different countries and little letters spelling out my name. Elijah had bought me a few pages of letters of the alphabet as a birthday present when I turned 15. I still remember that day. We were all huddled inside my living room after being drenched by a sudden storm. There were about fifteen of us, including the band. The fireplace before us was the only source of light in the darkened room. I think I was dating Ryan at that point. That was a strange time. He was sweet. It only lasted a couple of weeks. Elijah had a girlfriend too. Younger me was very jealous. I think that's what made me realise I liked him.

Now, fast forward eight years and my heart is beating in my ears like I'm a teenager all over again.

I allow Robyn to go first. I trail behind. Josh has left us to our own devices and we try to figure out where exactly we're supposed to go. We decide to follow the sounds of music booming. Closer and closer. We go down a staircase, open a door then we're right at the stalls, just beneath the stage. The door crashes so loudly that all of the band stop playing. They all peer down at us.

The band name 'Inhaler' is upon the wall and coloured lights paint the stage. This room is a lot nicer than the exterior. There's a standing area then seats up along the top. The walls are painted a deep shade of crimson with gold lines intricately painted everywhere. It's too good to be true. It feels so weird being at one of their gigs again. It feels even weirder to see all of them in the same place at the same time.

I trace my gaze along the stage. I take a quick glance at Josh who is tuning his guitar, then Ryan who's staring at us with wide eyes. I shift my eyes a little further to see Elijah. He's dropped his mic at the sight of us. I take notice of the length of his hair. It's falling over his eyes, a mess of curls shrouding his face. He's wearing a white vest top and a bulky blazer which is holding onto his shoulders for dear life. I can't see him very well from here. What I can see is the complexity of his gaze. The way he's looking at me is making me nervous. I take a deep breath.

"Dahlia?!" Ryan calls out. He drops his drumsticks similarly to Elijah.

"Surprise?" I say. I thought Josh had told them I was coming. "Wait, did Josh not tell you?"

Elijah picks up the microphone from the ground, not taking his eyes away from mine. "Josh, you gobshite. I thought she was coming next week," he says into the mic, words jumping through my ears. I hate how warm his voice is through those speakers. It's sickening.

"Well, I'm not complaining." Ryan jumps down from the stage, giving me and Robyn a hug. It's a group hug where we're all squashed together. He's grinning from ear to ear.

"You're still short," I say. I can still look down on him, especially with my chunky boots. He rolls his eyes.  "This is Robyn." I introduce my roommate to both Ryan and Elijah.

"Nice to meet you," Elijah murmurs as he jumps off the stage. He's left the mic on the stand. He's pushing his hair from his face.

Robyn gives me a look, raising an eyebrow in the direction of Elijah. She's got a malevolent smile. What's she going to do? Maybe I shouldn't have brought her.

"I've heard all about you." Robyn gives Elijah a little wink. I kick the back of her leg .

His lip raises the slightest bit. I find myself staring at his mouth for far too long. There's stubble lining his chin and a splatter of freckles on his cheeks. "Have you, now?" His low voice drifts through the air. He's maintaining eye contact with me. I'm trying to evade his gaze.

"She's exaggerating." I assure him, trying to stop myself from giving Robyn another thwack.

"Eli! We have like 5 minutes until door opens and Dublin In Ecstasy is a mess. Get up here. You can swoon later." Robert is already playing the introduction to the song. Ryan and Josh join in.

"Swoon?" Eli shakes his head with a grin.

"We're just that amazing," Robyn whispers to me.

I hold up my camera, taking a picture of the three lads on stage. Then I point it at Elijah. I take a few of his confused face before he leaves us to sing along to the music.

"He's whipped." Robyn watches as he climbs back onto the stage. "Likes you so much he can barely even function-" She points out how he can't even plug his guitar in. He's been trying to shove the lead in for a while but his eyes are wandering elsewhere. "You've got to say something to him. He's leaving tomorrow, isn't he? Maybe tonight.."

I breathe in. "Alright. I'll try."

Robyn and I hum along to the tune. Elijah's rough vocals make my mind go cloudy. He sounds so much crisper in person. I think back to the cuts and bruises vinyl on my shelf. Robyn had bought it the day it came out. Josh sent me every version possible. Robyn went on about supposedly being 'the first person in the world who bought it'. She said she saw the record in HMV and instantly thought of me. We had stayed up late that night to listen through each track. Eating popcorn, drinking alcohol, talking about random shit. That was when I told her everything about Elijah. From the schoolgirl crush, to the trying to forget him then to the full-blown infatuation. She enjoyed listening to every detail I had to offer.

Elijah continues singing. I'm holding my breath, my palms are sweaty, I feel my heart pulsing at my throat. Robyn is swaying to each beat of the drums. Elijah won't stop looking at me.

Then the song ends and we all tun backstage, in an attempt to evade the incoming fans. I hear shouts echoing in the distance. We've gathered in a little room backstage. Josh is showing me some fancy chocolates he bought in Rome. I'm taking pictures of the band members. Robyn keeps photobombing. I rest my head upon the armrest of the sofa, closing my eyes. It feels nice. Calm. Until, someone settles beside me. They grab my legs so that they can properly sit down. The hands are cold and fingertips are calloused. That someone is Elijah. "Excited for the show?"

He's got his pre-show drink in one hand and his phone in the other. I close my eyes once again.

I shift around in the soft cushion attempting to get into a more comfortable position. He scoffs and pulls my legs up by the ankles to rest them over his thighs. "I know you're tired," he says. He takes a sip of his drink. "But if you dare fall asleep during the show, I will throw my guitar at you." I move my legs around his thighs then actually raise my head to look at him. I take a picture as he makes a stupid face. I don't know how he can do that whilst still looking pretty.

"Is this comfortable?" I ask. He's been very still. "I can move if you want."

"It's nice... fine," he mumbles as he scrolls through messages on his phone. "Reminds of that music lesson. Must've been our first year of secondary school. You fainted after some practice test we did. We were sat in this exact position for at least an hour. I think my legs stopped working."

I try to bring my head back to the memory. He was so different back then. Shorter hair, insanely asthmatic. He only knew me as Josh's twin sister. Somehow that was enough for him to stay there with me and keep me safe. After that, he had some complex where had to look after me with his life. It was charming.

"I had to kick you about nine time because you feel asleep, " I recall. My mind is wandering through moments I can barely even remember. "You were so strange."

"I could've left you there in the practice asleep. You should be thanking me for saving you from embarassment-"

"Why, thank you. Oh how you've changed my entire life. I owe you all that I have."

He shakes his head, squeezing the skin at the bottom of my ankle. He then rests his hand there. As if it's normal. He's still reading through messages, biting the top of the plastic cup.

"When do you lot go on then?" I ask everyone.

Robyn has started drawing eyeliner onto the other boys. She just pulled it out of her pocket randomly and asked if they wanted her to do it. They've filed into a queue. She's done some graphic liner on Bobby with little stars that makes his bright eyes pop out all the more.

"Ten minutes." Ryan is putting some hair gel through his hair. He puts some music on using a bluetooth speaker they placed in the corner. Lover, You Should've Come Over by Jeff Buckley comes on. I'm trying to stop myself from falling asleep but it's getting harder with each passing second.

"I'm so excited," Robyn says as she does Josh's eyeliner. She's made his more smudgy and messy. It suits him a lot.  "Elijah, should I do yours? Or Dahlia can do it?" She passes the tube towards me. There's some malicious intent behind her eyes. I narrow my eyes down to the black contraption, taking it uneasily between my fingers.

He lays down his phone and drink. He's trying to push all the hair out of his face to give me some access to his eyes. I kneel down on the sofa beside him. I grab a hair bobble from my wrist then tie the top half of his hair up. He groans as I pull some strands way too hard then relaxes into my touch. He smells like cigarette smoke and cologne.

"How should I do it?" I wonder out loud. I've opened the tube and I'm trying to figure out the best way to go about this. He looks like his teenage self with his hair like this. His eyes are maintaining a hard eye contact as I near him. There's a warmth rising to my face.

Robyn pulls out her phone and shows me a picture of Rodrick Hefley. I snort. "Try it like that," she says.

Elijah closes his eyes as I begin to draw little lines then smudge. I've grabbed his chin to keep him in place. I can feel the sharp stubble poking at my fingers. He opens his eyes every now and then. They're half-lidded, watching. I poke his eye by accident. I scold him for opening his eyes. He decided to instead keep them closed.

I admire my work once I've done. It's not my best liner but it's alright. The other boys gather around to get a look at him. His hazel eyes come into view and he smiles widely at the sight of us all. "Does it look good?"

"Looks class," Ryan says as he grabs a mirror. The other boys nod along.

Elijah looks at himself. He seems to not know if he likes it or not. He smiles at me and says, "Thanks, love."

I just smile back, pulling out the bobble from his hair. An unruly splatter of curls cascade across his forehead. There's something about him wearing eyeliner that's stopping me from thinking straight. It's different. I'm still sat half on top of him, one knee resting on his thigh and the other on the sofa. He helps me off of him then stands up.

He ruffles his hair as he says, "Let's get going lads."

The four boys grab everything they need for the show. Water bottles, instruments, drumsticks, their sanity. They all give each other a group hug. It must be some pre-show ritual because they all down their drinks at the exact same time. If that wasn't planned, it was uncanny.

"Good luck." I wave them off and they travel down the corridor in a straight line. As each of them walk out, I take a picture. Elijah is the last to leave. He stops in the doorway, still holding his plastic cup. He raises his lip to reveal his white teeth as I take the picture. He really enjoys making the strangest faces.

"If you don't get our best angles, I'll have to think about firing you." Elijah warns me just before he turns around. He then disappears down to another asylum-like corridor before I can get a chance to insult him. I let out a breath.

"That went well, right?" Robyn's trying to figure out what's going through my head. I can't even comprehend anything that just happened. The feel of his hand still lingers at my ankle. "That whole time you were talking to Josh about those chocolates, he was staring you down. It was pretty creepy, to be honest." She laughs. "Don't even get me started on the eyeliner. All of us felt like total third wheels."

"Sorry," I say. I play around with the bobble at my wrist. It had been wrapped around those glorious curls only moments ago. "God, I'm so in love it hurts."

"That's how I felt when I started liking Emmy. Literally all I could think about was her." Robyn is in a daze, eyes glued to the wall. "You need to do something before it's too late."

"After the set, I will tell him." I finally accept my fate. I could possibly not see him until next year. Or the year after. Who knows how busy I could get?

"Good," Robyn says. "I'm tired of hearing Elijah this Elijah that. Girl, I get it."

"You had an Emmy this Emmy that phase. Don't even start."

She frustratedly sighs. "Come on. I think they're going on."

I hear the crashing of drums reverberating through every wall, every floorboard. Slowly, we approach the main room. The bodyguard lets us through to the wings of the stage. I can see all the crowd from this angle. There are phones, cowboy hats and banners littered through the crowd. Some of the audience are people we had seen when Bobby was surrounded. They're screaming at the sight of the band.

The first song they play is These Are The Days. I keep my camera handy through every song. Elijah takes notice of us standing there. He steals a glance at us when he has a chance to breath. He's singing a lot stronger than I'd ever seen online.

Then they play through a few more songs on the new album. I sing along, I dance, I try not to get blinded by the flashing lights. Then all of a sudden they've finished playing Love Will Get You There and he turns to look right at me.

"This next song..." His words are pretty slurred. He's drunk. "This is an old one. I wrote this when I was about 17. There was this girl at my school who I just liked so much— I couldn't even focus in class. I played it to her once we'd got it perfect and she had not a single clue that it was about her. She still doesn't. It's been six years and I've never told her." He pauses and looks at me. "This is for you."

I'm overwhelmed by emotion. I raise an eyebrow at him. He just starts strumming along with his guitar. That's when I realise he's playing I Want You. They'd played that song to me in Elijah's garage. I asked him who it was about. He lied and said it was about his ex-girlfriend. I never thought twice about it. I never listened to it because it made me sick to my stomach that it was about her. A girl who I had been so jealous of.

"You got your lipstick on..." He starts singing. He's literally pointing at me. The crowd looks confused. They can't see me.

"Oh, Jesus," Robyn exclaims. "Oh, wow. I can't believe this. He's fucking confessing! Dally, I'm so happy for you right now. What the hell!"

Robyn is just as shocked as I am. We're both slack-jawed, wide-eyed yet caught in a silence as the song goes on. The crowd sings along with each and every line. The other members of the band have caught on with what is happening. They all seem to be pretty proud. Especially Josh. He's smiling so big it's making me smile too.

The truth is, I don't want the song to end. Or the show. I just want this moment to drag on forever. It all feels too good to be true.

The song finishes, the lights switch off, the crowd screams. I'm left in the darkness. Robyn is holding onto my side for dear life. The only thing illuminating the world around us is a tiny light bulb above us. My eyes start to get used to the darkness. I see a figure approaching.

"Can you come with me?" It's Elijah. His cheeks are tinged a shade of bright red. There's sweat lining his throat and his chest. He's taken off the blazer and has slung it over his shoulder. The eyeliner has bled down a little.

"Yeah..." I'm exasperated. My throat is raw from singing so much. My brain can barely process what is happening around me. My hands want to reach out and hold him close to me.

He grabs my hand, pulling me down through a corridor. We're both running towards the back door. I'm trying to match his pace but his longer legs give him an unfair advantage.

We finally reach the exit. He opens the door for me, allows me to pass through then shuts it. I'm met by London streets. Brick walls, crooked alleyways, a rubbish bin. It's not particularly romantic. But, with him standing there in front of me, it becomes the most romantic place on Earth.

"It wasn't supposed to happen like that," he admits. "I just couldn't stop thinking about you when you left. I was going to tell you at the airport when you were about to leave Dublin. So that you could think it through without us seeing each other every day. Then I got fucking terrified."

"I was going to tell you then too." I press my back against the wall. He's pulled out a packet of cigarettes. He offers me one. I let it rest between my lips. "I had plucked up some courage after I went to the toilet but then I sat beside you and forgot the whole script I'd planned out in my head. That was a pretty awkward five minutes. Felt like a century."

"We're idiots, aren't we?" He says as he lights his cigarette. "Josh has always known. I don't know how he never told you. He's great at keeping secrets. Six years of keeping his mouth shut. I don't know how he has that much self control."

"Six years?" I blow out a puff of smoke into the air. My eyes wander across the star covered sky. The moon is looming and watching us.

"I know." He's blushing again. He's trying to keep his distance from me, leaving a slight gap between us. "I'm pathetic."

"I liked you for longer."

"What?"

"Eight years. Since the day you started dating the blonde girl." I feel stupid saying it out loud. He's laughing at me.

"That's class."

We stand there in silence just looking at each other. I can hear ambulance sirens and birds calling. The brick walls is hard against my back. My shoes are covered in water from standing in a puddle. I can imagine that there's a camera above us. This could be a scene straight out of a film.

"Are you going to kiss me then?" Some sudden burst of confidence brings those words from my lips.

He's taken aback. His eyes fall down to my mouth. He then takes a step closer. I can feel his breath at my cheeks.

"Do you want me to?" His voice goes all low and his accent gets thicker. His hand reaches up to cup my cheek. Metal presses against my cheekbone. His thumb lazily draws a line across my bottom lip. His words hang in the air. "Dahlia, my love. Do you—"

I press my lips to his. I can't hold back anymore. I can taste the smoke on his tongue. His mouth is minty and his lips are soft. I've imagined this moment countless times. In a bookstore, in a train station, in the garage. But, this is perfect. Perfect.

My fingers sink into his hair. He groans into my mouth as I pull a few strands at the back. His thumb is sliding across my cheekbones. He's dropped the cigarette to instead use his other hand to clutch my waist. My hands are at his chest. His heart is beating incredibly fast. He holds me tight against him until I feel his chest rise and fall. Up and down. Breathing in and out.

We hear voices behind us. He pulls away quickly. We both turn to see a group of fans. They're teenagers and they're all dressed in bright outfits. They didn't see anything but they seem rather suspicious, whispering.

"Eli! Oh my God!! Can you take my BeReal please?" One of them shouts over.

Elijah runs his fingers over his lips. His ears are a pink shade. He slides his hand away from my waist.

"Yeah, sure!" He approaches the three girls with a small smile. He's trying to act normal. "I love your hats." He points at the 3 cowboy hats which spell out the word 'Inhaler' when they're all stood side-by-side.

"Thank you so much!" The darker haired girl passes him her phone. "Your eyeliner looks so good. You should do it like that more often."

"I had a grand makeup artist." He winks. I roll my eyes.

"Could Dahlia be in it?" The girl with glasses notices how I've awkwardly shifted to the side.

"Course she can," Elijah says.

I stand in the frame next to Elijah as he holds up the phone. His lips are red after being stained by my lipstick. I drop my head onto his shoulder and close my eyes. He nestles his face into my hair as he takes the picture. We're both giggling like lunatics.

I'm so glad it happened like this.

[mp0625]

Pfirsich

Taglist. Masterlist.

Philipp Grubauer x Reader

Word count: 1.7k

A/N: This is for @wyattjohnston ‘s summer fic exchange 2k24!!!! This was so fun to write!!!!! Thank you!!!!!!! This fic was written for @rossmccallsqueen I had so much fun writing it for you!!!! I love how it turned out!!! Hope you love it!!! Sorry it took a few days to get up I had some technical difficulties.

When Phillipp and his ex girlfriend split, he never thought that he would meet someone at the little Grocery store near his house in Seattle getting snacks for his trip back home to Germany for the off season. But when you came up next to him in the international aisle looking for the Haribo peach rings that you could only get in Germany. “Have you seen the peach rings anywhere?” You casually ask scanning the shelves looking for them. “I bought some in Germany last month when I was there, and I ran out of my last bag a week ago. And I’ve been searching every grocery store I can find with an international aisle, and I can’t find them anywhere.”

“Are they the one with the light pink and orange bag and the German label?” He asks, looking over at you for the first time.

“Yes!” You stop scanning the shelf to see if they have them, to look over at him with wonder and excitement. “Have you seen them?”

“Yes.” He says with a goofy grin. “Back home in Germany.”

You look over to him with a deadpan look. “Not helpful.” And going to start to walk away to get the other things on your list.

“It might be!” He calls, jogging up next to you. “I’m leaving to go back home to Germany tomorrow and I can bring you some back.”

“You would do that for a complete stranger?” Looking over at him in disbelief.

“You seem pretty nice.”

“How long are you going to be gone?”

“Two weeks.” He said with a smile.

“I don’t know about that.” Unsure of what you are doing, taking a strange but handsome man’s offer of bringing you home candy. All of your childhood’s stranger danger classes rushing through your head.

“You don’t have to give me an answer now, but here’s my number text me if you want, and to make sure I’m not a serial killer that is going to poison your candy.” He said with a small laugh and handed you a small folded piece of paper.

————————————————————————

As you sit in your small office thinking about the guy you met at the store last night. The piece of paper burning a hole in your pocket, you decide what the hell and text him. “Hey, it's the candy girl.” “No no no.” You mutter to yourself and delete it and start again. “Hey, it’s the lady from the store. I decided to take you up on the offer for candy. If it’s possible to get 6 bags that would be lovely. Thank you!” Once you sent the text, you figure so you don’t obsess over every word you said and whether it was a mistake or not to send it in the first place. You shut your phone off and shove it back into your bag. And try to get back to work, but the only thing on your mind was the German Gentlemen bringing you home candy.

As Phillipp’s Plane lands in Munich, he takes his phone off airplane mode and sees the sea of standard chatter from the Kraken’s off season group chat, where people are at, food, and if anyone has proposed. But when he gets to the end of the notifications he sees one from an unknown number. When he sees the preview of the text. “Hey, it’s the lady from the store. I decided to take..” He knew exactly who it was and pulled up the message immediately, not caring about the nine hour time difference. “Hey, sorry just saw your message. Was flying to Germany. I would love to pick you up six bags! Is there anything else you want or need?” He sent and started his walk to baggage claim. As he was grabbing his bags he got his response earlier than he was expecting considering the early time it was out there.

“Yay! Thank you. We can work out a time and date, closer to time. I can’t think of anything else I need. If I think of anything I’ll let you know. Hope you had a good flight!”

————————————————————————

Later in the morning, as you sit at your desk between meetings you decide to text the man you now know as Phillipp but he said to call him Grubi. “I know it’s late there.” You start having downloaded a world clock to know the time in Germany. “But can you tell me a little about yourself?” You set your phone back down on your desk to start some paperwork not expecting a text back as it was getting later in Germany you were pleasantly surprised when you saw his name pop up.

“Sure! I’m 32, born and raised in Rosenheim, Germany. I grew up playing hockey. I play goaltender. I came over in 08’ to play for a minor league team at 18 and I went back and forth between Canada and Germany for a few years before I got drafted in 2010 by the Washington Capitals. I played there until 2017-2018 when I moved to Colorado. I played there for three seasons then I moved to Seattle. I have horses. And one of my nicknames is The German Gentlemen.”

“Whoa! I’m definitely not as cool as you! I’m 28, born and raised right here in beautiful Seattle, Washington. I went to the University of Washington for Marketing and I work for Starbucks doing most of the marketing for the new drinks. I have two cats and a dog. That’s so cool that you have horses, I grew up riding.”

“No you definitely are super cool! What is it like getting a Marketing degree?”

“It was interesting! We did lots of public relations classes and I did two different photography classes.”

As the two weeks pass the two of you start from talking once a day to every free second of every day. The two of you talk about everything from the names of your pets to childhood stories. Getting closer and closer.

————————————————————————

The day that his flight back to the US finally came, you were nervous but excited to see the man that you had grown close to over the past two weeks. The flight that was a middle of the day flight for Germany was a red eye back to Seattle and would get back to Seattle at 8 in the morning. Before he left Germany and before you went to bed you texted one last time.

“Hey, have a good flight! I’ll talk to you and see you in the morning. I can’t wait to see you! Sending hugs!”

“See you soon.” He hit send just before turning on his airplane mode. As his plane took off and made its way back to the US and you. He slowly got more and more excited to see you.

After a long and boring 11 hour flight, the plane touches down and he finally got to turn off his airplane mode. When he gets to turn his phone on he gets to see a message from you saying. “Good morning! Hope you have a great flight! Can’t wait to see you in a few hours.”

Once he gets through baggage claim and down to the parking garage and finally finds his car. He plugs the address of the coffee shop that y’all are meeting at and the GPS said it’s only twenty minutes away, and he has a hour before you were supposed to meet so he decided to run home to take a shower to get the grime of a travel day off and be nice and clean when you see him.

After his shower and everything he hits the road to the coffee shop. He hit bad traffic due to a wreck and was stuck in stop start traffic for 15 minutes past the time you had set up to meet. After sitting in traffic for the first five minutes. He called you to let you know what was happening. “Hey, I’m going to be a little late. I’m stuck in heavy traffic and I don’t know when it will end.” After an additional 10 minutes of sitting he finally made it to the coffee shop.

You meet each other at the doorway with a hug. “Good to see you! I missed you.” You whisper into his chest.

“It’s good to see you too. I missed you too. I have something here for you.”

“My peach rings!” You exclaim with a cheer.

“Here you go.” Passing a large shopping bag to you.

Peeking into the abnormally heavy shopping bag.“I asked for 6 bags of peach rings, not 60.” You said with a laugh.

“Oops”

Taglist: @studioreader @honethatty12

@slafgoalskybaby @swissboyhisch

@wondershells @cixrosie

[hausofanya]

@USER0326581 JUST POSTED A NEW VIDEO …

CONTENT : candy salad relationship trauma dump with everyone’s favorite rich auntie in training! inspired by @bluwavez ofc! i honestly just wanted to jump in on the trend before it fizzles out… lmao. warnings include violence, scamming, manipulation, breaking and entering, and seok dowon being the most despicable person on the planet. lmk if there’s anything i missed. enjoy!

the video opens up to a little bit of a shaky start—the woman on screen fixing her camera to be help up right. cléo hesitates for a moment before offering the camera a smile, bringing a clear bowl in view before shaking it with faux enthusiasm.

“doing this trend because i saw it going around,” she starts as she places the bowl down, crossing her arms behind it. “my manager won’t let me outside so i’m doing this in place of therapy. crazy right? it’s been so long but i’ve still got nightmares about it. but anyway.”

holding up a bag of sour patch kids watermelon, she begins to share. “in 2020, i was introduced to seok dowon by a mutual friend at a party. we talked nearly the whole night if i remember correctly, and admittedly i was hooked from the first moment. he was charming. pretty face, pretty smile, but gave me his undivided attention. it was.. intoxicating.”

cléo rolls her eyes before continuing. “he asked me out a few weeks later and i said yes. snuck out from my dorm, met up with him at a shitty restaurant, and despite being a rising b-list actor, made me pay for my meal.” she snorts, adding, “not that i minded. but when soompi is telling the masses you made millions off your recent film, the least you could do was pay for a meal.”

“long story short, the reason why he didn’t pay is because he owed the owner’s son money. they found out he was there and nearly got his ass beat. not exactly the best first date, hm?” cléo dumps the candy in the bowl, shaking her head. “first red flag!”

“as i’m thinking hard on it, i think he definitely love-bombed me. he would spoil me for days and then ghost me for weeks on end. only being sweet on me if he needed something and then leaving me high and dry when he got what he wanted.” pursing her lips, she sighs before shaking her head. “there was this one incident on my birthday where we’d argue a week before and i was hoping to be cordial for at least those specific 24 hours. but he embarrassed me by standing up and loudly telling everyone that i was pressuring him for sex despite him ‘wanting to wait until we got married’.”

an incredulous laugh leaves her as she remembers the moment, continuing to giggle as she holds up a bag of air head xtremes. “it’s not funny, it really isn’t. it was terrible. and he did at my birthday dinner!”

“as we continued dating, we kept it on the low because netizens are crazy. you get crucified for breathing wrong in this industry. but somehow, every kpop news outlet in the world found out we were dating through a stalker fan who was madly in love with him. that’s how everything was put on blast back in 2021. and to add to the fucking injury, he paid for the photos to be released!” cléo sends a loaded look to the camera as she pulls another bag of candy in view. “blue raspberry sour straws. my favorites!”

“naturally, the company shut down momentarily. cried my skin dry everyday. matching jewelry, sharing clothes, that and the sort. i’m unbearably sappy and a romantic at heart all to my detriment, i know.” holding up a bag of sour haribo gummy bears, she adds, “then a someone got a hold of my personal phone number and sent me death threats claiming to be his ex. if crazy people attract crazy people, what the hell does that say about me? i’m just trying to sing on stage, what the hell… she eventually threatened to leak my number and my family’s numbers if i didn’t publicly break up with him. to which honestly, get a life. if leaking numbers is your greatest achievement in life, you desperately need to invest that energy into a 9-5.”

she wordlessly dumps the bears into the bowl.

“as the hate campaign was growing and ‘the nation’s boyfriend’’s fans all wanted my head on a pike, his chats also get leaked! which would have been fine, chats get leaked all the time. except they weren’t, and it turns out he was scamming women on the down low while calling them cunts and whores and other despicable thing in the book. the ones about me went viral naturally, so i would like to formally introduce myself as ‘the world’s biggest easy-money slut’! amongst other spectacular and riveting reviews.”

shaking a bag of airhead bites into the bowl, she hums softly. “i think in total he scammed me for around a few thousand dollars. not a lot compared to other women, but you know.”

“mind you, as all this information is leaking left and right, he makes no move to contact me. pr is in flames, twitter is permanently deleted off my phone, and i’m about a month or so into my hiatus. deleted his contact, of course. moniqa and xavier made sure of it. and then a random number starts calling me everyday. texts start coming in asking for money. i knew it was him, deleted the contact. but it got so bad i considered changing my number.”

“then he breaks into my apartment!” cléo reveals the next candy with jazz hands, tearing open the bag of sour gummy worms with a thin smile. “i don’t know what i would have done if min and jinnie weren’t there. i don’t know what he would have done if no one was there. long story short, he tried to attack me and got thrown out of the apartment.” tossing the empty bag to the side, she adds with an air of faux amusement, “so now i can’t even relax until i’ve checked the door’s been deadbolted. how fun.”

pausing on a bag of regular sour patch kids, she lights up suddenly. “oh! i forgot to mention my private instagram was leaked. i’ve had that account since high school, i think. so my entire life was on there. nothing scandalous was found, but it was pretty embarrassing. that’s where they found the most evidence of our relationship. sue me for wanting to take pictures of what i thought was a loving relationship.”

“he releases an apology at the end of 2021 when other actors and women started speaking out against him. remember that one? blah blah blah i truly did love you, whatever whatever. and then when netizens rightfully put the flames under his ass, he tried to sue me for defamation. as if i’m the one who put everything on blast! the audacity of this fucking guy. sky high, i tell you.”

her expression softens for a moment, smiling down at the bowl. “at least i had my friends through it all. i thought them disliking him was overprotectiveness. turns out i need to have my prescription checked heavily.”

cléo snorts as she holds up her candy bowl filled with sour goods. “there’s a lot of stuff i’m omitting still. i know, i know. feel free to send hate to that guy for all i care. i hope he rots in deepest fiery bit of hell.”

setting the bowl down, she gives a cute wave to the camera. “i’m gonna go eat this and watch demon slayer now. bye!”

[thottie777]

but not kiss.

c.s

you are best friends with chris and both have feelings for each other, why do these things always take so long?

-

the air was crisp and cold, you could genuinely blow clouds from your mouth from the chill in the room. your feet were layered with two pairs of socks, body dressed in old mismatched pyjamas, and limbs were tangled in between your best friend, chris’.

your head was rested against his beating chest, arms wrapped around his torso as he played with your long, silky hair, wrapping it around his fingers like a fidget toy, gently rubbing your scalp every now and then. your eyes were shut but you were awake, appreciating every delicate touch chris was giving you. the floral patterned duvet lay on top of you both, keeping you both cocooned tight against each other, your right leg propped up against his waist.

you kept finding yourself in this position with him recently, especially because of the autumnal weather, you two would always go back to yours after school, shivering with pink noses, and immediately climb into bed and find each others bodies like matching puzzle pieces.

you knew this meant so much more for you than it did for him, since kindergarten you had this slow developing crush, after you shared forts made out of sheets together as children and told each other about your imaginary friends and favourite colours, in middle school you knew the feelings you had for him were real when he fake proposed to you with a haribo gummy ring.

you were never going to tell him though, because you knew that if he didn’t feel the same it would destroy to you. you told yourself daily, it was better to have a little of him than nothing at all.

he hadn’t spoken for a while, so when he finally did his voice was croaky and deep “come closer, my neck is cold” he murmured, stroking your back lightly to get your attention, you shifted your head upwards and buried it in the crook of his neck, keeping your eyes closed and breathing in the smell of his cologne.

“you smell good” you whispered up into his ear, lips grazing his lobe slightly, then falling back down into the warmth that lay underneath his long, floppy hair. he continued to trace strokes across your back until you both fell asleep, you would’ve slept for hours if your mom hadn’t woken you both up to have dinner.

- chris’ brief pov

as she laid there in your arms, you were begging to every god in the sky that she wouldn’t hear how fast your heart was beating from how close she was to you. you tangled her hair between your fingers, not only because you knew she found the sensation comforting, but because you liked to look at her and imagine what it would be like if she was yours, how you would hold her and touch her, the thoughts were like shadows that followed you everywhere. you couldn’t help but blush every time she smiled at you, laughed at one of your jokes or grazed your skin, which seemed to be constantly.

you felt warm around her, a warmth you’d never felt with anyone else you’d ever met- she was your home, she had been since you were little and you were splashing in puddles with each other on rainy days, you loved how she used to always hysterically laugh anytime you splashed too hard and mud went on your face, you loved her bright yellow wellington boots, you loved how when you both got a little bit older, and you gave her a haribo ring, she didn’t take it off for weeks until it went sludgy and weird on her finger, you loved her.

* 1 year later

12 months had passed and you were finally seniors, you both still hadn’t uttered a single word to each other about your undying feelings you had. you were convinced it was too late anyways, chris had a girlfriend. she was preppy, pretty and perfect, they met whilst he was practicing for lacrosse and she was staring at the team on the bleachers with her friendship group.

you couldn’t even blame him for falling for her, she was naturally tanned with blonde locks that fell to her tiny waist, she was an a* student, super charming and flirtatious, every guy in the school was desperate to have her, she was everything you weren’t and it killed you.

you and chris’ friendship had definitely become slightly more strained since he was in this new relationship, you had never had a boyfriend before and this was his first girlfriend, so this new dynamic was completely untouched territory for you both, it was awkward at times and you couldn’t stand it. you prayed every night to the picture you had of chris and yourself on your bedside table that things would go back to normal, that he would realise he loved you all along and would come knocking at your door with a bouquet in his hands, unfortunately you were an atheist so knew none of these prayers would come to fruition.

the weekend had come and you had been invited to a mutual friends house for a movie night. you knew chris and his girlfriend were going to be there so had to mentally prepare yourself for the pda you’d have to witness, which at school you actively kept yourself away from, skipping lunch and smoking spliffs in the run down toilets just to avoid chris’ new relationship completely. he always wondered where you were but dared not to say anything because he didn’t want his mrs to get suspicious or jealous.

you threw on a pair of baggy blue jeans, ratty black converse and an old hoodie that was sat in the back of your wardrobe, which you only remembered was chris’ that he gave to you years ago as you were in your car on your way to the meet up, you swore under your breath, embarrassed by the piece of memorabilia that was taking up half of your petite frame, knowing that chris would recognise it immediately.

you knocked on the front door and your mutual friend greeted you with a wide smile and open arms, you gave them a tight hug and entered the cozy house, instantly spotting chris and his gf cuddled up on the l shaped sofa, your stomach turned and you were tempted to turn around and walk straight out. before your thoughts could keep running around your head, chris shouted out to you “y/n!!! yes you’re finally here we can start the film now” his pretty face was as happy as ever which made you let out a soft smile, he patted the sofa, gesturing you to come sit beside him, you obeyed and crossed your legs on the sofa so that you were criss cross apple sauce, surrounded by cushions and blankets. his girlfriend hadn’t muttered a word to you. “haha cool jumper” he said, letting out a quiet laugh, “sturniolo 3, best player ever” he continued, smiling at you as his girlfriend sunk her eyes into you, glaring intensely.

the time went by and your heart sank deeper and deeper into your chest as the film went on, to the left of you, chris was stroking his gf’s hair as she laid between his legs, facing the tv. it reminded you of a sensation you remembered all too well, how gentle chris used to be with you and how close you guys were, your body yearned to hold him one more time.

it was almost noticeable how often your eyes were glancing over to chris, if the film wasn’t so intense everyone in the room would be staring at you and laughing over the fact your gaze was glued to chris and the way he was cuddling h/gf/n. there was a sudden jump scare in the movie and she lept up from his lap in fear, turning herself around and nuzzling her head into his neck. she stayed there briefly and you heard her very quietly whisper to him “you smell good” as she grinned at him with her signature smile, he smirked back and brung her face in for a kiss, their lips brushed and found each other as they began a light make out, you couldn’t tear your eyes away.

your lips began to tremble and you felt your eyesight become glazed with water as a single teardrop fell down your cheek, he broke the kiss with her momentarily “oh yeah?” he asked her, in response to her last statement, “yeah” she replied, smirking into the kiss she reconnected, deepening it and wrapping her fingers in the back of his hair. you finally looked away, grabbed your car keys and phone and without saying a word, ran out of the room and left the house, feet going faster than they ever had before.

you were convinced your heart was actually about to shatter into pieces and you had know idea how to sew or glue them back together. the tears began to stream faster and faster, your body was distraught and head felt dizzy from the pain you were being overcome with. you wept and wept as you rushed to your car that was parked at the very end of the street, you were in such a state you hardly even noticed the torrential rain that was pouring down on you.

“y/n!” you heard from the front door of the house, as chris sprinted down to come and talk to you, you ignored him, too humiliated to let him see your puffy, tear stained face and wobbly lips. he continued to sprint over, quickly catching up to you as your legs weren’t long enough to walk any quicker. he pulled your soaked shoulder towards him so that you were facing him, out of breath and panting. his face dropped instantly when he saw the face of the person he cared about most in the world, completely devastated.

you looked up at him, incapable of forming words because your mouth was shaking so much, the rain had made his hair all wet and it was dripping down his forehead. even at this time of distress you couldn’t help but be mesmerised by how beautiful he was.

“w-what’s going on?” he shouted, so that you would hear him over the heavy rainfall, keeping his hand on your shoulder.

you shrugged him away, your emotions were too all over the place to have him touch you in this moment. “n-nothing” you let out, pathetically, tears still running down your cheeks like they were on a track field. you wiped them away, not that it was working at all as they were constantly replacing themselves.

“don’t lie to me y/n, we always promised to never lie to each other” he exclaimed, a soft but panicked look on his face as his worry for you was consuming him.

“i-i can’t look at you” was the only sentence you could manage to string out, you looked down at the concrete, wet hair following your movement.

he furrowed his eyebrows and a puzzled expression grew on his face, “can’t look at me? what are you talking about y/n? come inside i’m begging you”, and he really was begging, he was so panicked, he hadn’t seen you cry this much in years.

you looked up and through broken sobs, murmured “i can’t look at you, with her”.

you couldn’t believe you actually said that, that your brain was letting you say the things you’ve pent up for so, so long.

chris’ frame was sodden from the rain at this point and you were both shivering from the cold, hearts racing, “why? why y/n? w-why not” he replied, breathing heavily and becoming more and more confused.

it was like something took over your body as you then shouted “because!!!”, getting somewhat angry at how oblivious he was acting, you were convinced he surely knew how you felt.

“because what!?” he too was getting frustrated, frustrated by how little he knew what was going on in your head, how you were hardly giving him any hints on why you were so upset.

“don’t make me say it chris, i beg you please don’t make me say it” you cried out, struggling to speak through your painful sobs that were damaging your throat.

“y/n what are you talking about!? what is going on?” he truly was completely oblivious, he had convinced himself his whole life that his feelings were one sided so the idea of them being reciprocated didn’t even spring to his mind in this heated moment.

“fuck chris! for fuck sake i’m obviously in love with you!” you screamed, you went pale and still, both not knowing what to say next.

a million thoughts raced through his mind, his best friend just confessed her undying love for him? he couldn’t even process it, he just stood there, frozen.

“what?” was all he could manage, as his eyes filled up and a tear ran down his cheek. he looked completely defeated and baffled, are you speaking another language, are you drunk? high? he thought to himself.

“i thought you knew!” you wept, hands practically batting away the tears that were flooding you eyes, you repeated yourself instantly “i thought you knew!” you shouted, waiting for him to properly respond to you.

“i didn’t” he whimpered, sobbing “i didn’t know!” he exclaimed, raising his voice with a weak and wobbly disposition.

you both looked up the street immediately as you saw the front door swing open and chris’ gf run out. you panicked and held your car keys tightly in your hand, as she was running over to you both you quickly whispered “i have to go”, and you sped to your car, trying to leave the situation and the heavy rain as soon as you could, “no y/n, please don’t, don’t leave” he shouted out to you, before his gf placed her hands on his shoulders and pulled him back to her.

your hands fumbled to put the key in as you got into the car, you quickly switched on the ignition and looked out of the car window, chris was staring out to you, completely defeated, still crying his eyes out. you pulled away, lips trembling and tears still streaming, keeping your gaze on him in the mirror until he was finally out of sight.

*another year later

it had been 365 days since you and chris had last spoke, you avoided him at all costs at school until you both graduated, completely isolating yourself from everyone and everything.

after that night chris messaged you every day for weeks on end, hoping that you would reply, he kept coming to your house but your mom would constantly say ‘now isn’t a good time’ and not let him in, as you would lay hidden under your sheets, crying your eyes out, for months. after seeing all the messages he was attempting to send you, his girlfriend eventually blocked your number and your socials, her jealous raging at the affection and care he felt for you.

but you both eventually moved on, after school you moved across the country for college and started casually seeing someone, and he stayed in your hometown and made funny videos with his brothers, still dating his first girlfriend.

it was now halloween and you had come back home briefly to visit family, you bumped into an old friend in your local supermarket and they invited you to their annual halloween party that was happening that evening, you couldn’t say no to them, even though you weren’t a party person you thought it was good to get out finally, maybe see some old friends, and get absolutely hammered.

you made your way to their house that evening, dressed in a quick make shift black cat costume, made from your incredibly old mini dress which was now incredibly revealing and sexy as it sat on your more mature, filled out body. you wore that tiny dress, long black leather chunky boots, a black choker and some black cat ears, obvs.

for hours and hours you mingled, chatted and drank, mainly drank. lots and lots of shots, a couple kegs and probably 9 different solo cups. you were feeling fizzy and bubbly and kept giggling and dancing the whole night. that was until you saw chris. you didn’t even know he would be there that night, no one had mentioned it. you stood still in your tracks, looking him up and down as he made heavy eye contact with you, he was wearing a steve harrington costume that suited him perfectly, he looked so good it made you angry.

without wasting another second you span around and quickly walked away, pushing through crowds of people to find a room you could lock yourself in and hide forever. chris followed you, shouting your name, making sure not to lose you in the crowd, you looked over your shoulder and sped up even more, finding a door and opening it as fast as you could, as the door swung your jaw immediately dropped at the sight that was in front of you. chris’ girlfriend was laying on the bed doggystyle with some guy in a superhero costume fucking her as she moaned out his name. you remembered instantly who was following you and looked behind you again, this time seeing chris directly next to you, mouth agape and eyes wide as his heart evidently fell out of place. he looked crushed, tearing his eyes away and sprinting in the opposite direction, physically pushing people out of his way so that he had space to breathe.

this time you were the one following him, shouting his name, feeling so, so sorry for him. “chris! wait up please chris” you shouted out, running up the stairs after him. he grabbed the door handle of a new room and opened it aggressively, hurriedly entering without looking back at you. you were out of breath by the time you got to the bedroom, but when you did, you instantly shut the door.

he was sat on the bed, head in his hands as he leant his arms against his knees, you could hear him crying softly. the poor boy. “chris” you said gently, plopping yourself next to him and placing a hand on his back. “this is what you wanted isn’t it?” he asked, you couldn’t believe he said that, your empathy soon turned to anger as you rose from the bed to stand. “excuse me?” you replied, with an unamused tone.

he drew his face from his hands and stood up. “you heard me, this is what you wanted. i bet you’re loving watching me like this” you were so hurt by his words it felt like he was spitting in your face.

“how dare you.” you replied, looking up at him with deep disappointment in your eyes.

“don’t look at me like that y/n, you can’t confess your love to me and then ghost me completely and now act like a saviour, that’s not fair it’s not” he began to stutter, tears starting to stream harder down his face.

“i did the right thing chris, you didn’t want me what else was i supposed to do?” you replied, gritting your teeth, voice beginning to raise.

“who said i didn’t want you!? you never even asked y/n, you never asked” he began through panted exclamations “i wish you stayed! on the street that night why didn’t you stay?” he cried out “why didn’t you stay!?” he began to shout. you looked at him in complete disbelief, chris had never really shouted at you before, a teardrop fell from your eye as you took in what he was saying.

“i-i should’ve stayed” you replied, guilt consuming you, lips trembling just like they did a year ago.

“god you know y/n, all this time, this year we’ve spent apart i’ve been blaming myself, been telling myself that it’s all my fault that we’re not friends anymore and it has killed me.” he kept heavy eye contact with you, starting to use hand gestures so you knew he was getting real serious. “but no! you’re the one who left me. that night in the rain you left, without giving me even a split second to tell you how much i loved you, how much i yearned for you and dreamt of you. you didn’t stay! i would’ve told you you’re the girl of my dreams, the girl i’ve always wanted to marry” his voice began to break as he continued his poetic rant, you were stood still, dead frozen “the love i have for you is like nothing i’ve felt with anyone else, it absolutely destroys me y/n and it has ever since that stupid fucking gummy ring” you were crying but let out a soft laugh at the mention of the ring. “i’ve been in love with you since the day i met you and i will be until the day i die”.

you were convinced you were about to melt into the ground, your ears couldn’t believe what they were hearing, and instead of letting him continue or responding yourself, you jumped over to him, wrapping your arms around his neck as he lifted your legs up so that he was carrying you and you were straddling him, lips crashing into each other as you kissed him for the first time in your almost 20 years of friendship. you pulled at the back of his hair to tighten the kiss and he held you up by your ass.

he walked you over to the door and pushed your back up against it as he continued the passionate kiss, both of your tongues fighting for dominance, his ultimately winning as he trailed it around your mouth, making you whimper slightly against him. you bit down on his lip and he let out a groan, squeezing on your ass even harder as he pulled you closer towards him.

the fabric on his shirt was starting to rub against your core, making it throb and become needy for some real touch. your horniness took over you mouth as broke away from the kiss and moaned out “i need to feel you”, he laughed and found his way to your lips again, tightening your legs around him and massaging your ass. you pulled away again, with a more demanding tone this time you let out “please chris, give it to me”, he bent his neck to the slightly and put on a puzzled look on his face “give what to you?” he questioned, a sensual smirking growing on his mouth. he began to thrust against you as he held you up against the door, rubbing his now hard cock upwards so the bottom of your cunt could feel it. you let out a pornographic moan from the sensation, “you’re cock chris, you’re cock please ugh fuck please”, he felt himself get more and more turned on by the erotic sounds you were making and walked you over to the bed, dropping you onto the sheets roughly as you lay on your back looking up at him, your mini black dress now riding high by your waist, completely exposing your red lacy thong.

“god you look so fucking good” he whispered, with a raspy low tone, bringing his thumb to your bottom lip and dragging it down, keeping heavy, sensual eye contact with you. “i’ve wanted you begging for my cock since we hit fucking puberty”, you continued to gaze up, totally mesmerised and at a loss for words.

“i’m gonna fuck you nice and slow okay? i wanna watch you as im inside you, i wanna take it all in, properly look at you” you nodded without hesitation as he used both hands to painfully slowly drag your dress up further and further up your frame, now completely revealing your tiny thong that barely covered your pussy. you leant up a tiny bit so that he could strip it off you, it was a dress you had to go braless for so you were now laying in front of him in just your panties, big tits fully on display, choker still wrapped around your neck, as he unzipped your boots and kissed up your legs before standing up again.

“i could easily cum just by looking at you” he murmured through gritted teeth, looking slightly pissed off, which really turned you on. he used his pointer finger and thumb to hold your chin as he stared down at you, taking your body all in, revising every detail of your frame. he stepped back briefly and threw his jacket and shirt off, leaving him in just his baggy jeans and trainers. “come undo my belt for me baby, i want you looking up at me whilst your at eye level with my dick”, you smirked in agreement and shuffled to the edge of the bed, loosening his belt and pulling his pants down as he stepped out of them. you could see his insanely large bulge poke through his boxers and were desperate to feel it deep inside you, you licked your lips and looked up at him as you pulled his boxers down, his large piece springing out and smacking you across the cheek, leaving you embarrassed but aroused.

you took this opportunity to take his cock into your hands and kiss across his tip, licking a long straight line from the base to angrily pink tip that was dripping in pre cum. he winced and let out a soft “fuck” as your mouth continued to make contact with his massive hard on, you kept eye contact and held his piece with one hand, wanking it slightly as your sunk your mouth down onto his cock, gagging as you got to the end of it which left him pleased and smirking. you began bobbing up and down on it, heavily spitting so it would be super sloppy and wet to slide right into you right hole.

you continued for a minute so as a let out a string of moans, whimpers and curses, holding the back of your hair and shoving your face deeper around his dick. just as you felt him begin to twitch he quickly pulled out and held your face again, “im not wasting my cum for your mouth i need it to be deep inside you” he ordered, as he pulled your body up and shoved you down by your shoulders against the sheets and the pillows.

he crawled on top of you and began to slowly trace his fingers against the inside of your thighs, some would call it teasing but you were convinced it was torture as you were so desperate for him to just stretch your hole out already. his fingers then made their way to your soaking wet cunt, pushing your thing to the side, your pussy was already so sensitive just from the arousal you got from the kiss and your mouth around his cock. he laughed at the moisture and began to rub his thumb against your clit, driving you insane, you moaned out and lolled your head back, eyes rolling and mouth agape. he rubbed faster and faster until he felt you clench your thighs and scream his name as you came hard on his hand, he pulled it away and licked off the moisture that dampened any of his fingers, tasting your sweet juices.

“just how i imagined you would taste, you’re fucking delicious y/n” he said, not being able to wipe the seductive smile away from his face. he leant in close, giving you a peck on the lips as he began to line his cock up with your wet, pulsing slit. without warning he rammed it into you, you let out a pornographic scream and repeated his name about 10 times as his whole length entered you. “sooo fucking tight i don’t know how im gonna last” he whispered, kissing down your tits and sucking on them as he began to pump in and out of you.

his mouth didn’t leave your hard nipples as he began to fuck hard into you, still slow just as he warmed but deep and intense. when he wasn’t sucking one tit he was playing with the other, cock filling you up completely as you moaned insanely loudly. once he could tell you could take his full length he picked up the speed, dragging one hand to your throat to replace the purpose of your current choker, holding on to your neck roughly as he railed you, both of you whimpering and groaning at the sensation of the deep penetration.

his teeth began to grit again as he let out an “i love you”, you knew he meant it but the way he was saying it was turning you on more than anything in that moment, you moaned a hmmm in response, too overstimulated to properly reply, but he was not satisfied with that response. “tell your daddy you love him baby, fuck tell me”, grip getting even tighter on your neck as he continued to roughly fuck you, cock ramming against your g-spot again and again and again.

“i love you so much daddy” you whined out, “so fucking much and i love how you’re fucking me”, you cried, eyes genuinely watering from how hard he was going and how good it felt. he quickly pulled out, leaving you disappointed and hungry for his cock, however it was only brief as he lifted your legs up on his shoulders so that he could fuck you even harder, which drove your pussy insane.

it didn’t take long before you were screaming “oh fuck i’m gonna cum chris!” with no consideration to anyone stood anywhere near the door of the room you were getting railed in. “yeah you fucking better baby” he replied, “cum with me”. you moaned out a hmmm as your pussy reached its climax and your were shaking on his cock, seconds before he twitched inside your throbbing cunt and let out a long string of cum inside you. riding it out and pumping a couple more times before he left your hole and slumped down to the bed next to you.

he rolled to his side to look at you, connecting his lips with yours yet again, before quickly pulling away, “no leaving this time y/n”, you laughed and wrapped your fingers in the back of his hair, “i won’t leave baby” you whispered, kissing him all over his pretty, pretty face.

[haribojam]

I.Q.? More like I.STUPID.

[georgies-ftts]

my thoughts and opinions on this weeks episode as someone who didn’t have time to watch last weeks episode, has never watched live american telly before and has discovered a new found hatred for your adverts. Also i swear a lot.

let’s begin

(spoilers obviously don’t be a knob)

1. he cannae be captain he’s only got two stripes on his epilette why are we focusing so much on this man

2. Bobby eyeing up that gun I like that (the acting)

3. this guy is giving me uncanny valley and i don’t like it

4. hehe dongle

5. i mean fair enough… in and out just like he said

6. Hen love of my life where the hell have you been loca

7. “and you won’t be anymore either” that’s actually dead funny to me

8. husbands that saw together survive trauma together <3

9. “everyone survived” i know foreshadowing when i see it

10. there’s a lot of drunk driver hatred (as deserved) somethings gonna occurr

11. oh he’s dead… lol karma fuckhead

12. Hen, i love you but why can noone on telly give me actual realistic CPR… break them ribs girl

13. christ these american adverts are weird

14. let me tell you advertising prescription medicine isn’t actually a normal thing to do

15. I don’t know boss man am no a dr but that’s an awful lot of blood are you sure you should still be breathing????

16. “Are you happy” “Yeah, Yeah I am” i have a feeling that’s all about to change buddy

17. just me or can anyone else not see a fucking thing that’s going on this episode why’s everyone in the dark for?

18. moving on from that i love the lighting in the office scene… chefs kiss

19. EXCUSE ME SHE WAS DOING HER JOB, NEXT YOU’LL SUSPEND HER FOR CODLING THE DRUNK DRIVER AND GIVING HIM TEA AND CHEEK KISSES PISS OFFFFF

20. Why do American comm’s systems always fail whenever you actually need them

21. They were axed to pieces. I will let you off -_- this time…

22. “I didn’t shoot him” honestly… same i hope you get yer pay out boss

23. Athena please for the love of god pop a paracetamol or a codeine and chill the fuck out

24. cause it has never been hard enough for them you just had to add a bastard bomb

25. ITS BEEN 5 MINUTES WHY MORE ADVERTS

26. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU ADVERTISING TO YOUR CITIZENS

27. The Rookie ad i love it carry on

28. If he wasn’t under the influence then he was just being a cunt and hen had every right to react as such thankyou very much

29. Oh my fuck what is happening - don’t tear them apart i’ll start crying

30. Bitch you’re taking on water stop being a pussy and help

31. “Don’t test me.” Queen, you rag his arse

32. “port stabilisers are gone” surely you should be tilting like a bitch right now or did i miss a frame

33. MORE FUCKING ADVERTS????

34. why’s that lizard from london?

35. WHY ARE YOU ADVERTISING DEMENTIA MEDICATION THAT IS LITERALLY ADVERTISED ALSO AS A DEATH PILL WHAT DO YOU MEAN COMA AND DEATH THATS NOT HELPING

36. “i didn’t save him either” he quite literally refused your help despite being detained

37. didn’t get that SS Menow reference… try the Mayflower next time

38. “Saving the ship” “course she is” GIVE THEM ONE MOMENT OF PEACE PLEASE I AM BEGGING YOU

39. okay good they are tilting like a bitch i will shut my mouth

40. NO STOP TILTING LIKE A BITCH I DONT CARE ABOUT REALISM I TAKE IT BACK NO

41. HOW MANY MORE ADVERTS DO YOU NEED

42. i don’t know but all your meds just seem to be doing the opposite of.. you know… keeping you alive.

43. woah therapy flash back get me one of those

44. you forgot to mention imminent death in your therapy session Mr Sir

45. “We did what we had to do” YOU’RE ALLOWED TO LIVE TOO.

46. “I couldn’t save my first family and I can’t save you either” and what if that was my last straw Robert Nash

47. ABC you can tone down the writing now i’m fucking sobbing

48. FUCK YOU AUSTRALIAN MAN I WAS CRYING MY EYES OUT

49. glad the us also have those Haribo ads

50. first time in my almost 20 years of life where i’ve seen an ADVERT for ANTIDEPRESSANTS that also actively make you MORE DEPRESSED

51. Hen i knew you were slaying you’ve never not slayed <3

52. no need for it was there mr boss man? no didn’t think so

53. You have no jurisdiction past the Gulf of Mexico??? ummmm??? distressed cruise ship full of your citizens???? idk??? do something????

54. oh. welp. no surviving that one, have fun with poseidon my loves

55. i don’t know about you but once i’ve been capsized like that in anything bigger than a kayak im giving up…

[conan-hearts-u]

You didnt tell me you had a hot older brother !

wc:400+

a/n:Ok so like... I totally didnt get this idea while watching babysitters club (dont judge me its a good show) i wrote this real quick and i was planning on making it longer but then I just decided if you guys like this ill make a part two!

"Welcome to my room! " he said excitedly as he was opening his rooms door

"your room looks like its straight out of a stock image, Yuji." you went over to his bed and sat on it. You turn to his wall that has posters "Ah yes the Jennifer Lawrence poster, as accepted"

"You better shut up or this is the last time you step a foot here " we walks up to his drawer and opens it "Catch!" he throws you a candy bag and it hits your face "Oops sorry"

"Not even the good kind of Haribos shame " You start shaking your head pretending to be disapointed.

"Oh also by the way my big brother is home so if you here something dont mind it" he pointed towards the door using his thumb

"You have an older brother?!" you asked shocked and confused "You never told me!"

"I did!"he says quickly but then goes quite "oh wait actually no, i forgot to tell you " he starts laughing akwardly and puts his hand behind his head

"You have a serious memory problem "

"I DO NOT" he started getting defensive

But then you heard someone opening the room's door. It was Yuji's older brother Choso. He looked like he was in a hurry.

"I need to get something from the shops quick before they close need anything?" Choso asked quickly "Oh also hi Yuji's friend" he waves at you

You dont say thing you just stare at him and mouth Wow. He is so hot? is all you could think

"No i dont need anything" He replied and Choso left the room

"OH MY GOD. YOU DIDNT TELL ME YOU HAD A HOT BROTHER" You screamed

"Y/n... are you actually crushing on my brother right now?"

"Yes i am"

"And you arent a shamed of admitting it"

"Zero percent" Both of you just stay quite for a bit just staring at eachother and then Yuji starts laughing. "This is why I didnt want to invite you over "

"So you knew i was going to call your brother hot?" you look at him with a raised eyebrow

"Of course I do you are my soulmate after all" He says giving a small punch on your shoulder

"Erm actually your brother is my soulmate" You corrected him in a sarcastic voice raising one finger up

"You dont even know your soulmates name. Its Choso by the way " He takes out his phone and checks the time "Do you want to stay over for dinner by the way? " he asked

"Yeah sure why not." You said "Is Choso going to eat dinner with us?"

He just gives you a blank stare.

Made with love by Conan

[suspicioustoads]

Today I was reminded of a work incident from a few years ago, so let me tell you about the Infamous Shit Circle.

It's 2020. I've recently returned home from college after the dorms were shut down due to pandemic reasons and needed a job to financially and emotionally sustain myself. I ended up working at a provincial park campground (while this was arguably the worst job I've worked, it was also the most beautiful place I've worked at. We take our wins where we get them).

The world is pretty insane and where does everyone escape to when they want to pretend everything is fine? They get lost in the woods for an undetermined amount of time.

Aka they go camping.

When I say everyone was looking for an escape, I mean *everyone.* Anyone with a tent and a dream was out there, especially the highschoolers. Specifically, the highschoolers who weren't allowed to party like usual (again, pandemic restrictions) but needed some sort of outlet. Partying in the woods was that outlet. Technically the campground shouldn't have allowed this but frankly, my bosses didn't care and I wasn't paid enough to rock that particular boat. Nor was I paid enough to deal with the outcome of their parties.

Picture this. You're driving the little gator loaded with cleaning supplies up to campground loop C. It's the most "in the woods" area you can get, furthest away from the lodge and campground spots are far enough away from each other you could reasonably not see or talk to anyone else for your whole stay and that'd be normal.

The first thing that hits you is the smell.

It's the woods, campground outhouses are nearby, sometimes you'll just catch a wiff of feces but this? This is bad. This is worse than bad. This is offensive. This is a violation of the Genova Convention.

(Fun fact! When you smell something, it's because you're smelling the particles of that something in the air, which is now in your nose, triggering all those lovely olfactory senses.)

You hope to god that this stench is just the result of an animal's stomach ache, a freshly emptied RV waste tank, but you know it isn't.

Then you see the toilet paper.

Streams of toilet paper trail up the road, dangling from trees like poorly hung streamers at a 5 year old's birthday party.

All leading up to one campground you'd already heard about this morning. The campground that'd been cause of multiple complaints throughout the night. A group of 18 to 20 somethings, responsible for excessive noise, disrupting campground neighbors, making a mess of the place, all things that you'd come to expect from party hard campers. You wonder what those noise complaints specified, but now you don't really want to know.

You pull into the campsite and for the first time all summer, you geniunely consider quitting on the spot.

In the middle of the campsite is an almost perfect circle of Human Feces. It's like a group of people got into a circle, popped a squat, and collectively experienced the Sugar Free Haribo Gummy Bears Colon Cleanse.

It got worse. There was more shit outside the campsite, creating a nice little border. More toilet paper hung from the trees, some of it clearly used. Empty beer cans, food wrappers, and other garbage was strewn through the trees.

So what do you do? What do you do after witnessing the aftermath of a remarkably shitty party?

You drive back to the shop and get the big shovel.

[venusandsaturnsrings]

honey, your co-workers shall burn in hell and just mind their own business. who even are they to judge you for ur eating habits? what toxic people they are.. anyways!! I hope you visit a doctor and cure ur ear infection in no time!! get well soon. I hate thinking that ur unwell.. I’m sorry that my fav person isn’t feeling well… I hate that u have to go through!! praying 4 u get better every day!! I wish I could cover u in warm blankets and bring ur fav snacks every day.. I wish u the warmest wishes 4 a speedy recovery!! ❤️‍🩹

ueueueue ur so sweet ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´Д｀ﾟ)ﾟ｡ i shut down just a lil bit whenever sum1 comments on my eating habits… imma bigger girl so i’m kinda used to gettin looks for just existing but… i work for a uhm… business that prides itself on inclusivity n all that stuff so it’s a bit… contradictory…

anywaysss… my ear!! i have a doctors appointment next week (for unrelated things) so if it doesn’t clear up by then i’ll have them look at it further!! it is sumhow crunchy n soggy at the same tummy… very yuck…

hehe i am a blanket n plushy collector but i’d never say no to more hehehe <3 my fav snacks are: oi muchim (it’s like a spicy cucumber salad if u’ve never had it go make it NAOW!!), straight dubliner cheese and pickles, and any haribo gummies!! i have wonderful taste ik <3

[sizzlyybacon]

ROUTE 478 CHRONICLES; PART 3

on thursday after school the bus driver isn't here and our bus is late. all the bus drivers left already. elise says she's going to run to the bartells in the neighborhood nearby. i tell her she shouldn't because the bus is probably gonna come but she ignores me 💀the giant 7th/8th grade boy group leaves to go to starbucks but then elise comes back with a bag of haribo gummy bears. we sit down on the little ledge by our school building and eat the gummy bears. i text my dad and ask if he can pick us up if the bus doesnt arrive in like 15 minutes. he says sure so we wait. while we're eating our gummy bears a few drop on the ground so i bend over and pick them up. "psst should i throw these at the next person to walk by" i say. "YESSS" elise replies a LIL too loud.. and that's when will walks over and says hi to us. i decide not to throw them since we're somewhat friends but elise elbows me and tells me to throw them at him. she throws a gummy bear at him and i do the same. he starts crying and screaming ow and how much pain he's in 💀 then elise just 🧍‍♀️ and gives him a pineapple gummy bear. "OH THANKS!! CLEAR IS THE BEST FLAVOR!" he says and griddies away. man wtf are thse kids on. finally the bus rolls up and we get on. since everyone got picked up already only a few people are on the bus. the middle is empty, everyone is in the front while me, elise, will, hannah, avery, josi, and olive are in the back. i put the two gummy bears that bounced off will on the seat and decide to hold a contest for which flavor is better by whichever one stays up longer without falling will was right that pineapple was the best flavor because yellow fell first. i decided to stick the winning gummy bear on the window because hannah kept begging me if she could have it and plus it was funny. it was a different bus though so i dont know if it was still there or not. i leaned over and kicked it into the window. hannah was cackling. will took my waterbottle while saying fanum tax and he griddied away then he asks if we have twitch💀the bus driver was SUPER strict and there were 3 of my classmates in a seat and he screamed "this is NOT kindergarten. 2 people a seat. one of you moves or you all get kicked off." the kids got scared and moved away. wtf.. the bus driver was inexperienced because he circled the town 3 times and never got out. some kid told him he went the wrong way and he screamed "ARE YOU DRIVING OR AM I!? DO YOU HAVE THE LICENSE OR DO I!? YOU ARE SO DISRESPECTFUL. SHUT YOUR GODDAMN MOUTH." kids are shocked. my friends tristan, graham, and joe are making jokes in the front when the bus driver stops in the middle of the road and walks down the aisle to them. "YOU ARE BEING SO LOUD. QUIET DOWN. WHAT'S YOUR NAME? WE CAN HEAD BACK TO THE SCHOOL RIGHT NOW." tristan replies with "m-my name is jeff sir.." "WHAT'S YOUR LAST NAME JEFF?" "j-j-j-j-just jeff sir.. my name is jeff jeff.. please.." everyone is laughing and recording. the bus driver stops and walks back to his seat. in the meantime, a kid has their foot in the aisle and he STOMPS on it and calls them a disgusting rodent. wtf man. everyone is shocked so they get off at early stops.