#hard was my dick 20 minutes ago when i though you were gonna fucking piss on me

[just-another-author-i-guess]

so like, I don't know the extent of what you write, but if you're ok with it, smutty/spicy head canons for Marshall x Reader? or, alternatively, if you don't write that stuff, first date HC? 💛

Anything for you <3 I’ve been wanting to make a smut for him for soooo long so dw about it

Tags: fem! Reader, smut, obviously, blood, general vampire stuff?, semi-public sex, also they do it unprotected, don’t do that irl pls, Marshall has a big dick 😊✋, this is not nearly as bad as my Judd smuts dw, I wanted to write minors dni but who am I kidding they’re gonna read this anyways 🧍🏻

Summary: idk, porn?

Author’s note: I have returned! Ngl I’ve been thinking of this request for so long, I was so giddy to write it lol 🤭🤭 I hope it’s okay, I feel like I need to work more with Marshall as a character lol but nonetheless I really enjoyed writing this. Eat up, children!

Marshall smut headcannons

Word count; 2,6K

Smut under the cut!

He is SUCH a tease, omg 

Will tease you for hours, days if he’s in the right mood for it 

(which is most of the time, because he’s a little shit) 

He will act so coy about it as well; getting you to the brim of an orgasm MULTIPLE times or touching you in a way that he knows will turn you on and then just,,, get up and leave 

Oh, just a moment ago he was grinding you on his thigh and whispering the lewdest of lewd things into your ear? Too bad, now he’s up and going to get ice cream from the mart 

He loves to tease you in public too, more than anything in fact 

You’re drinking tea with Prince Gumball? Marshall got bored and thought it was funny to shove his hand under your skirt and into your panties, only to loudly point out how flustered you are 

Would go; “Oh, jeez. Y/n you don’t look so fresh, you okay there, babe?” 

If his cold fingers gently rubbing your clit didn’t feel so damn good, you’d definitely have kicked him 

Instead, though, you clasp a hand over your mouth and nod vigorously 

“Y-yes! Marshall, I’m just fine. Thanks,” You’d grit out, but the rest of your audience would find it hard to believe 

Gumball, bless the man, would insist you lay down for a while and grant you a guest room in the castle 

Bingo. Marshall’s plan fell through exactly how he wanted it to 

The Prince would quickly find out you’re fine, though, when the both of you return like 20 minutes later with mussed hair and you sporting a few bite marks that definitely weren’t present before 

Gumball would scold Marshall more than you, calling him something along the lines of “a hungry wild beast” while just telling you he thought you were better at controlling your urges lmfao 

Marshall is definitely quite the exhibitionist, however 

The two of you have fucked everywhere, all places in Aaa you could think off 

Unfortunately for Gumball, that means his castle has been subject to this quite a lot since he’s got A TON of secret rooms 

Marshall is more respectful at Fionna and Cake’s house though, he only convinced you to do it so much at the Candy Kingdom because he likes pissing Gumball off 

But on the topic of Marshall’s exhibitionism, he really likes getting you to be loud too 

It’s almost like he wants to be caught 😀✋

He’ll drag you around a corner or to the bathroom of a dingy bar or something and make you scream louder than you ever have in your life 

This is not so much a problem in the Nightosphere (yes, you have fucked there too) because I imagine there’s a lot of screaming sounds going on there anyways 

And either way, no one would dare disturb their Prince in his,, private activities 

He’d also really like to drink your blood while fucking 

Usually, he barely asks for it, only if he’s very sick or wounded because otherwise he just drinks the color of red 

But when he’s buried inside you and your nails are scratching up his back, he feels just that tad bit more animalistic 

Sometimes he won’t even ask ): 

Only because he knows you know he would never genuinely hurt you 

But if he’s already kissing and lapping at your neck, it’s soooo hard not to go that extra mile and sink his teeth in 

And your blood is heavenly to him 

Much better than drinking colours all the time fr

Ngl, your period would be love making season for him 

Sometimes, just the faintest smell of your blood is enough to get him sporting a boner 

But when it’s coming from you so steadily and from a place he already loves burying his face and nose in? Man’s a goner 

Please just,,, let him eat you out 🙏

He doesn’t even understand how you could find it gross, when it’s literally free blood he can drink from you without puncturing your skin 

He also LOVES making you cum, and get that taste of your blood mixed with cum.. mmm delicious 🤭🤭

Honestly, he kinda acts like he’s in heat on the week of your period 

But yk, orgasms makes the cramps go away, or so they say 

So take it like a champ lol 

He’ll fuck you in his bed, mostly 

His couch is kinda stuffy and hard bc he never uses it, only you and sometimes your friends when they come over does 

His bed is also nice and large, very good for violent vampire sex 

But let me present to you, an even better option; his bed in the Nightosphere 

Idc his mom tries ok, and has a bedroom set up for him there 

And it’s decorated very posh and such, but the bed is even better for a good round of fucking 

No okay but he rarely takes you there because when he does his mom is bugging the two of you for grandkids so hard— 

I’m honestly not sure if it’s even physically possible, but hey, his mom just wants a cute little grand baby 🫶🫶

Anyways 

As I stated before, Marshall is a man who thoroughly enjoys foreplay 

He’ll have you writhing and gasping before even filling you with his dick; 

His head was hung low, eyes focused on the spot where your bare pussy was dragging against the denim of his jeans. He tensed his thigh, corners of his mouth quirking up as he caught sound of your breath hitching.

You sniffled, softly whining his name and trying to rut yourself faster against him.

He looked up fully, fangs escaping his complacent smile and gently resting on his lower lip 

“Wow. You’re so greedy, baby,” He ‘tsked’, playfully scolding you. 

His hands kept their iron grip on your hips, rocking you back and forth slowly and dictating exactly how much pressure you got to feel on your throbbing clit each time 

You tried to glare at him, but then suddenly he was bouncing his leg and your glare became a sultry pout as you cried out for him 

Unusually, you were sitting on his couch this time around 

He had started by tricking you into watching a movie, clearly with other intentions in mind, but you fell right into his trap and happily obliged when he pulled you to his lap 

Cold breath ghosted over your neck as he had slowly inched his fingers into your sleeping shorts, edging you until you were completely cross eyed and just about to cum only to pull away and situate you on his thigh instead 

He had turned you around to face him, so he could observe your pitiful expressions as he kept giving you more but never enough 

He thoroughly enjoyed it, and now you had been subject to his cruel torture for nearly two hours 

He continued bouncing you, leaning in to get a long sniff of your neck 

You felt his long, wet tongue lap up and down right in the crook of your neck and his already tight grip on your hips became bruising 

He groaned softly, fangs lightly scraping your soft skin 

“Not fair,” he slurred. “You smell so fucking good.” 

You pushed yourself more into him, hands moving from his shoulders to the back of his head to cradle him against your neck 

With your fingers gently treading through his black hair, you barely managed to whisper; “T-take what you need, then.” 

Well aware that Marshall had now also fallen for his own trap, he complied easily 

He lifted you slightly with his arm around your waist, settling you to now grind on the bulge in his pants instead as his two fangs pierced your skin 

The feeling of his straining, but clothed, cock against your core was enough to momentarily distract you from the warm pain and pinch of Marshall’s bite 

With one hand locked around your waist, the other came to the back of your head to angle you to his liking, leaving your lower half to its own devices 

Maybe he was right when calling you greedy, because you instantly took the opportunity to sit down on his crotch 

His clothed dick spread your folds slightly, the zipper of his pants pressing on your clit and you moaned loudly— finally getting enough stimulation 

Marshall’s pupils were blown wide as he lapped up your blood, clutching you to him as tightly as he could without breaking your back as he started rutting his own ups up into you 

If felt heavenly, you quickly got used to his fangs in your skin and the full throb became somewhat of a pleasant ache in your neck 

Too caught up in his meal, he barely noticed when you came all over his pants, slick coating your inner thighs and now spilling over his crotch as well 

You whined loudly as you came, panting out a never ending mantra of your boyfriends name and shuddering all over from the intense fell of it all 

You clawed at his scalp, desperate for some kind of stability as you finally came down a bit 

However, Marshall was still rutting into you, with no intention of stopping, keeping the fire in your belly raging even though you just came 

When he finally managed to pull away from your neck, lower face and cheeks smeared with blood, he wasted no time unbuckling his jeans 

You cried out in relief when he lifted you again, lining you up with his long, pale cock, completely stiff and leaking 

The drunkenly satisfied meal that escaped you when he finally nudged into you was music to his ears

After hours of waiting, you ached to feel him stretching your walls 

He shuddered at the feeling, too, your gummy walls always fit him so snuggly he was surprised he could even fit inside

Your previous orgasm along with the drawn out teasing had made you beyond sensitive, your head was spinning, mouth parting in delirious moans as you finally, finally felt the fullness of his dick inside you 

He hissed when you gently rocked yourself against him, walls fluttering around his cock. “Easy there,” he breathed, mouth returning to that smug smile he bore before, this time coated in blood. “Aren’t you gonna be a good girl?” 

You whined helplessly, hugging him to you and burrowing your face in the crook of his neck 

He felt you nod against him in confirmation, gently licking at his skin and biting at his shirt to keep yourself sane 

He leaned back on the couch, cradling you to his chest and starting a slow and torturous pace of his hips 

You moaned each time he buckled upwards, meeting his thrust with a desperate one of your own 

He breathed out a laugh. “You’re so goddamn wet, it’s all over my pants, sweetheart.” He commented condescendingly, nuzzling your hair with his bloodied face 

It got in your hair, it was also still leaking from your neck but you didn’t care 

All you could manage was a small huff in response against Marshall’s collarbone, clutching his T-shirt in your hands 

His statement was true, though 

You were absolutely leaking on his cock, it dribbled down his shaft, creating a small puddle underneath you on his pants and the couch 

Gently, you lifted your head to mouth at his neck, then his jaw 

“More.” You muttered, your voice cracked slightly and it came as a whisper, but you knew Marshall’s supernatural senses would pick up on it anyways 

He cackled in response. “You can handle more?”

Vigorously you nodded and before you could even register it, Marshall had you on your back on the couch 

You looked up at him hazily, fingers trailing the few marks you had left on his neck, all of which was already beginning to heal 

He leaned down to kiss you as he started pounding into you, making the couch shake and knock against the table besides it with each movement 

He hoisted your leg up, bringing the left one over his shoulder and dove into you deeper, enough to make you feel him all the way in your lower belly 

When he was done kissing you, leaving you breathless and your lips swollen, he nosed down your neck until he found his bite marks and resumed his feasting 

You tightened and fluttered around him, flailing as the liquid flames in your belly grew until they became almost unbearable 

You tried pleading with Marshall, but all that came out of your mouth was incoherent mewls of his name or loud moans 

He was close too, you could tell by the way he was clutching you, his demon-like nails had grown and was leaving small cuts and indents where he was holding you 

He groaned into you, deeply and animalistic and it vibrated through your whole body in the most pleasant of tingling sensations 

That was enough to tip you over the edge, and without warning you creamed on his dick, walls fluttering and constricting so tightly around him he almost found it hard to pull back out

He took a sharp intake of air, departing from your neck for only a moment to glance down and watch the way your pussy was milking him 

He moaned a little at the sight, licking his lips and picking up speed

You could only just lay there as his thrust became inhumane, you knew he was holding back when you two fucked, but it never failed to surprise you when he took use of some of his actual strength 

Something in the sofa cracked, the sound of wood splitting barely reaching your sex-drunk mind as Marshall fucked you rough and fast 

His own thrusts became somewhat sloppy as he used you to chase his end, he watched your face intently, eyebrows knitted in concentration 

When you finally opened your eyes, locking eyes with him and presenting him with the most fucked-out expression he had ever seen you hold, he came 

He didn’t bother to pull out, instead he held your hips tightly to his, releasing his load inside you 

You softly sighed in delight, body numb and heavy 

It took a while for him to pull out, but when he finally did, he went straight to nuzzling into you again 

He hugged you closely, supporting you against his chest as he sat up, lifted his hips and pulled his pants back up 

Marshall is surprisingly good at aftercare, I mean, after all that teasing he better be treating you right after 

He’s always very cuddly, and makes sure to clean you up properly after

He starts with you always, his own needs come in seconds after he’s done with you 

He’s looking at you all lovestruck and starry eyed too, with a goofy lil smile on his face, adorable 

He tugs you against him, preferably in his bed, and helps you clean up the puncture wounds with his tongue and a wet towel 

Awe, he’s so cute (,: 

He just wants to make you feel loved 🥰🥰

Especially cause he knows humans are not build for the kinda sex he’s build for, he’s always a bit scared he’s breached your limits too much or exhausted too much 

And I mean, yes, he has, but you thoroughly enjoy it so.. 

No okay I know I just said he’s soft in the post-but clarity, but sometimes he can also be a teasing little shit 

Depending on how loud he made you moan or how much he got you to embarrass yourself 

In the instance above, he’s pretty soft, but don’t be fooled, man’s is a demon after all 🫢

He’s so hot pls 🥲✋

He’s been needing his own smut for so long too oml,,, I hope you enjoyed it.

Sorry this is also not as fluffy as a first date thing would be, but if it’s something y’all want I could write something about that too. Thanks for the read! 🙏

[dollfaceksj]

schemin’ | myg (m) 10

⇝ pairing: yoongi x fem!reader

⇝ summary: Your dream comes true when world renowned music producer and CEO of D-Town Records, Agust D, discovers you in the underground rap scene and wants to sign you to his label. It all goes well for a few months and you can’t believe you’re actually living your dream. However, things start to shift when Agust D offers to do something for you and you can’t stop thinking about it for weeks to come. Your boyfriend doesn’t like it one bit.

⇝ genre: angst ; smut ; slowburn

⇝ category: series

⇝ chapter warnings: explicit sexual content, flashback, yoongi pov, unprotected sex(be responsible), protected sex, spanking; hairpulling, timeskip, seokjinnie cameo again cus i miss him, soft yoongi and soft reader, rough fucking, oral sex (f. rec), mentions of daniel, dom!yoongi, sub!reader, pussy slap, faceriding, minors dni

wordcount: 8.2k

a/n: ahhh we’ve made it to the finale… i can’t believe we’ve made it. thank u so much for this journey! i can’t believe we’ve built a community for this and i love every single on you. i hope you stick around for my upcoming fics too <3 thank u!!

— m.list & concept video

<- previous

chapter 10: schemer

A cry ripped through her throat as his big hand came down to her asscheek in a rough slap, the skin of her ass recoiling from the impact.

“I’m gonna need you to be quiet, baby.” His low voice rang in her ears like a blaring alarm from right behind her but she simply did not have the energy to look back at him, the wooden surface against her cheek was a constant reminder that she was playing a dangerous game.

Her pearly whites sank into her bottom lip, keeping it trapped and using it as a sound barrier for her pathetic moans and gasps.

He hardly wasted any time as he pushed his shaft right into her wet pussy, the ridges and veins of his dick grinding against her slick walls as he fully bottomed out. He let out a low groan at how tightly she wrapped around him, his hands traveled up her thighs to hold her hips firmly as he slowly started thrusting into her, aware of the time they didn’t have.

Her own hand reached up, fingers draping over her swollen lips to keep herself as quiet as possible as his pounding got rougher, the head of his dick just barely grazing her cervix with each thrust.

“Yoongi!” she cried into her hand, her other arm stretched out behind her to press it flat into his abdomen in an attempt to get him to slow down.

He simply paid no attention to her pleas of slowing down, if anything, his hips slammed into her ass even harder. “I told you to be quiet.”

Her manicured nails dug into the skin of her cheeks in hopes that it silenced her pathetic sobs. She put more pressure on her other hand – that’s pressing against his lower stomach – but that time, he slapped her hand away and the pace of his hips never faltered, his rock hard dick still intruding in her pussy. “Now you want to act like you didn’t tease me all throughout today’s meeting?”

“I didn’t even say anything!” She tried to defend herself, voice muffled by her hand as she recalled the events of 20 minutes ago. He still heard it loud and clear, though.

She wasn’t even supposed to be in that meeting but she slithered her way in and he paid the price of letting her stay. He should’ve known better.

“You didn’t have to say a single word, that look in your eyes and rubbing up against my legs with your foot in the middle of an important meeting is enough to piss me off and you know that.” He mercilessly continued to pound her hip bones into the edge of his desk, one of his hands reaching for her throat from the back and lifting her head off the surface.

He elegantly grabbed a fistful of her long hair and tugged her toward him, which made her arch her back and throw her head back in the process. He loved seeing her like that.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m–” she repeated, but her pleas were too loud for Yoongi’s liking. He quickly brought his other hand up, draping it over her own hand on top of her mouth to keep her quiet.

He leaned forwards a bit, soft lips grazing the shell of her ear. His heavy breaths directly hitting her ear made a jolt of electricity travel up her spine and turned her legs into jelly.

“And now you’ve made me bend you over my $20.000 desk like a slut. Tsk,” he grumbled in her ear, his dick rubbing up and down her walls so good that it had tears rolling down the sides of her face.

She shifted her eyes to their corners, wanting a glimpse of what he looked like right now.

The oxygen in her lungs got squeezed out the moment she realized he was already staring back into her eyes, his dark gaze so intense that it made her knees buckle like two sticks of spaghetti snapping under the slightest bit of pressure.

He reached around her hip and started rubbing at her clit in that pattern he knows she likes. He knows her well. Really well.

Because it didn’t take long for her stomach to start twisting from the inside out, walls clenching around his shaft to let him know she was mere moments away from her climax.

“Cum on my dick, babe,” he whispered in her ear, fingers and hips still synchronized in the way they pleased her.

“Fuck,” she whimpered as the knot finally snapped, her orgasm hitting her like a train.

Her legs shook, struggling to hold her weight but Yoongi wasn’t going to let her get away that easily. He tightly held onto her hips, continuing to roughly pound his hips into her ass to chase his own high.

She was still sprawled out on the desk, legs shaking and face pressed into the wooden surface. It only took Yoongi a few more thrusts until he was emptying out his balls inside of the condom, groaning silently when his orgasm showers his body in pure and utter bliss.

After a few more lazy thrusts, he pulled out and took a minute to catch his breath before he snapped the condom off and discarded it. He returned to her fucked out frame on top of his desk and cleaned her up with the wet tissues he keeps in his office – because that wasn’t the first or last time this happened.

She sighed in content as he helped her up, brushing some of her bangs out of her face. She simply winked at him as she pulled down her skirt, smoothing out the creases.

“Dinner?” she asked as chirpy as ever, absentmindedly trying to put his stuff back on his expensive desk.

Yoongi, however, stayed quiet for a few moments. Thinking. Stroked his chin. Considered it. “I want to but I can’t.”

She pouted, brushing her hair off her shoulder to appear casual about it. “Hm, too bad. Plans already?”

“Yeah,” he said with a nod. “Namjoon told me I might want to check out these rookie battle rappers in some shabby, rundown hotel. They’re having another show tonight and I want to go.”

She raised her eyebrows and rubbed his shoulder, gently squeezing and massaging it. “Then, I think you should go. Who knows, maybe your new pop star is amongst them,” she said as she leaned up to press a kiss to his cheek. “Tell you what,” she paused, “When you finally sign a contract with someone new, dinner will be on me.”

His onyx eyes shifted to her brown eyes, bright and big as they twinkled at him like they used to.

He chuckled, “Okay, deal.”

She planted one last peck on his lips before spinning on her heels and heading out. “See you soon, Yoongi.”

He watched as she strutted out of his studio with a sway to her hips, his head tilted to the side and his eyes lingering on her ass.

“See you, Sarang.”

•••

His eyes trailed your glistening skin as you stood face to face with your opponent, yellow spotlights hitting your face and rhymes leaving your mouth continuously.

You seemed like you were made to be there, made to have the public eye glued to you, made to be seen and heard. You were on fire, bar after bar, the entire room yelling and roaring every time a punch line left your lips.

Instantly, Yoongi knew he had to have you. You were made to be great and he made great things. He wanted you – and he was going to get you.

He returned weekly, hoping and praying to see you in action. You were vicious, claws and fangs out for blood. He could tell how passionate you were just by a single glimpse. The fire in your eyes, the venom in your voice, the determination in your body language.

You were the one.

He had to have you.

As you hopped off the stage, Yoongi’s security went and talked the security into letting him see you for a moment. As soon as they heard the name ‘Agust D’, there wasn’t an ounce of hesitation, not even for a moment.

And that’s how Yoongi walked into the backroom you were in, talked you into coming to his record label and a week later you were sitting in his studio, answering his questions.

He hates having to think this way but as a businessman, he can’t help it.

Aside from your incredible talent and skills, Yoongi couldn’t look besides the fact that you were also just a very attractive woman. Young, attractive woman + insane talent = money and success.

Yoongi couldn’t wait to sign you. He wanted to help you make your dream come true but he could also taste the money you were going to bring on the tip of his tongue. And he surely was excited.

However, the single conversation he had with you in his studio made him reconsider.

The things you said, the way you said them, the way they stuck with him.

Sure, a lot of people have said that they want to be like him. But your specific usage of the words ‘bend to my will’ intrigued him.

What were you thinking? You had just been swooped off the floor of a dirty backroom and you wanted to be on his level just so anything and everything would bend to your will?

He was fascinated yet conflicted by the fire in your eyes and the determination in your voice.

But then again, that was exactly what he liked about you.

His professionalism made him doubt you because of your lack of fear of consequences but his soul was intrigued by it. However, he also had a feeling that you were special, someone that could not be contained or silenced by any contract or industry standard.

He was going to love testing that theory.

He didn’t expect to have you signed that day, let alone 10 minutes into your first official rendezvous.

He quickly realized he just signed a deal with a fire starter, a daredevil. He couldn’t help but be wary yet intrigued by all the trouble you were going to bring. He was looking forward to taking on the challenge of trying to control someone this reckless.

He couldn’t help but be allured by you.

•••

He walked in and spotted Sarang right away, strutting over to her. “Sorry I’m late, traffic is crazy.” He quickly sat down across from her, watching her swirl the water in her glass after sipping from it.

“Don’t worry, I haven’t been here for very long myself.” She placed her glass back down near her utensils. “So, are you late because it took your new star a lot of convincing to sign to you?”

Yoongi glanced down at her empty plate, his eyes lingering for a moment as your face popped up in his mind. “No, actually,” he started, “she needed absolutely no convincing. She… signed the contract 5 minutes into our conversation without even reading through it.”

She blinked at him, fingers tracing her silver utensils and her leg slowly crossing over her other underneath the table. She clearly wanted to express her opinion about that but for some reason decided not to. “Well, how do you feel about her? Do you think she’s your next big thing?”

His eyes trailed up to hers after a while, thinking about the situation and his afternoon. “Yeah,” he said, no hesitation present. “Yeah, I do. I haven’t seen anyone with potential like her in years. She might become one of my favorites.”

She slowly nodded her head as he talked, taking the information in. “How is she as a person? You know the public eye pays a lot of attention to these artists’ behaviors and actions, especially if they’re women.”

She brought her glass back up to her matte lips, taking another sip whilst keeping eye contact with him over the rim of her glass.

His eyes stayed glued to hers as if he could see your face and personality in her eyes. He brought his shoulders up in nonchalance and dropped them right after. “She seems pretty hard to deal with.”

“Hm,” she hummed as she leaned forwards on her elbows. “What makes you say that?”

“She’s just,” he mumbled, trailing off as he tried to put it into words. “I don’t like her that much. She’s daring. Unpredictable. Reckless.” He reached for his own glass, taking a big sip of water – which he needed after that afternoon with you. He didn’t like how you caught him off guard multiple times and even almost had him speechless with an excruciatingly dry throat.

Her eyebrows shot up, creating small wrinkles on her forehead that were hidden by her bangs. “Hm.”

He shook his head as the events from earlier that day dawned on him slowly. “I mean, who just signs a contract without reading it or asking for clarifications?”

Yoongi went on a ramble, talking about what he disliked about you and what he’s worried about.

Sarang simply listened. Didn’t interrupt him. Let him talk. Silently nodded her head.

“Hm,” she hummed again after his ramble came to an end, a small smirk on her lips. “She’s going to grow on you.”

He nearly snorted and coughed up all the water he drank. Did she not listen to a single word he just said? He disliked everything about you aside from what was going to bring him money. “What?”

Her eyes trailed his face, committing his body language to memory. “Nothing, just an observation. I think you’re going to grow really fond of her.”

At that, his brows pinched together in an annoyed frown. “What makes you say that?”

She scanned the room before glancing back at him and nonchalantly shrugging her shoulders. “I know you well.”

Yoongi had no rebuttal for that and they moved onto the next topic.

•••

Months had passed and you were definitely getting worked to the bone. It wasn’t easy but you also didn’t want anything that came easily. Especially this dream that Yoongi had served to you on a silver platter. Of course you were going to have to wash and polish that damn platter every single day but the dish that was served on it made your mouth water.

Contrary to your own belief that he absolutely hated your personality (he did) and just kept you around because you were skilled, you’d be surprised that wasn’t actually the truth.

That was half true.

The CEO in him absolutely fucking hated you as a person. You were an impulsive, annoying, unpredictable, reckless brat. He hated not knowing what to expect, he hated not being in control.

But his soul… he couldn’t help but find you alluring.

In a direct contradiction to the CEO in him, him as a person loved not knowing what to expect from you. You always knew how to catch him off guard with your antics, with your words, even with your music.

You quickly became one of his favorites but he made sure not to show that.

In the months that you worked for him, he knew he wasn’t the easiest on you. Maybe he was the hardest on you of all, always critiquing you. He loved your music but he needed you to know the industry wasn’t going to be any easier on you than he was.

Over the months, he grew fond of you but that it’s not like he went any easier on you. That was it.

Well, was it, though?

Because when he stepped forwards and said he would film the music video with you, he’d shocked himself. What the fuck was he thinking? He could have an actor in the building within 10 minutes with a snap of his damn fingers!

He didn’t like it. He was losing control of himself, something he worked so hard to have over you, the most impulsive brat on earth.

And what he hated even more was how much he enjoyed being in that damn music video with you. Shooting with you, having that title of boss and employee stripped away and for once, it didn’t feel like a bad thing to want to be close to you.

All that guilt washed away that day.

After that, he promised himself to take it easy. To distance himself from you because you were slowly starting to slither your way into the cracks of his soul that he allowed to exist when he offered to be in your video.

That didn’t last long when the company got together to watch the video. Couldn’t help himself. Asked if there was anything you wanted to talk about.

He wanted you to be the first one to give in so bad so he could stop feeling guilty. So he could stop feeling bad about thinking of his employee this way.

Then he confronted you. Then he caught you watching the scenes, several times.

He knew you were right there with him, he knew you wanted it as much as he did.

But he refused to take that first step. He didn’t want you to feel obligated or like he was using his authority to make you consent.

But when you kept watching those scenes, he had enough. Done.

He kept pressing you because he had been waiting since the start for a moment to watch you break. If he could accomplish that by doing something this villainous, then so be it.

He wanted to see you become a squirming kitten – under his gaze, at his command, in his presence – compared to the raging tiger you usually were.

He loved the real power he had over you for the first time. He finally had control over the daredevil he signed all those months ago. Even if it wasn’t in the way he initially intended.

And if he could get you to break by stealing your USB, then so be it.

•••

present

Rolling over, he’s faced with your bare back and the moon shining down on you, casting shadows on your body in all the right places. He scoots closer to you, finger tracing your spine and he watches as you slightly shiver underneath his touch.

It’s been a few months since you’ve started sleeping with Yoongi regularly, sneaking around and being secretive. You’ve debuted with your album, you’re in the public eye, you’re doing interviews.

“What are you thinking about?” he asks quietly, pressing a soft kiss to your shoulder.

You glance at him over your shoulder and jut out your bottom lip, slightly shrugging. “I feel bad that I don’t feel bad.”

He blinks at you a few times and then realizes what you’re talking about. “Fuck that guy, seriously, Y/N.”

You sigh, not liking the conflicting feeling in your chest as you roll onto your back. “I’m not a slut, you know. I just–”

“Hey,” he snaps, tapping your shoulder. “I don’t think you are. When I say these things to you or call you names, it’s purely for our enjoyment. You shouldn’t listen to what that bastard says either.”

It’s true, Yoongi would never think that of you and he would never want you to view yourself like that. You are in a shit relationship and Yoongi’s giving you a safespace, that’s all it is. So what if you like being called a slut by him? So what if he thinks it’s hot as fuck when you desperately need his dick inside of you?

“I know, I know, it’s just,” you sigh, rubbing your forehead as you stare at the ceiling. “I don’t know. I just feel a bit conflicted.”

“That’s because you’re human.” He falls back onto the mattress and stares at the ceiling too, both your bodies covered by his thin white sheets.

You turn your head to look at him. “What do you think about all this?”

He continues to stare at the ceiling, though, avoiding your gaze. “I think you should just forget about all of that and be in this moment with me.”

It’s silent for a few moments before he turns his head and glances down at you, to see you still staring at him.

You share an intense staredown and if he wasn’t a little bitch, he’d admit just your eyes staring into his has his heart beating in his throat.

“Be in this moment with you? You just fucked me in your kingsize bed, give me a break,” you laugh as you sit up, allowing the sheets to drop down and expose your bare skin.

He chuckles in response and traces your spine with his finger, drawing circles on your back and ribs. “If you’re down for round two, I am too.”

“You’re crazy,” you mumble and shake your head but clearly seem to be considering it.

He notices it right away and sits up, leaning into you and pressing soft kisses to the side of your face and down your neck, prepping your collarbones in kisses and licks.

“Yoongi–”

The sound of your phone ringing snaps you right out of the moment. You glance over at your phone on his nightstand.

[9:53PM]

Daniel

Incoming call

“Fuck,” you whisper as you reach for your phone. You haven’t seen him or heard from him since breakfast.

“Hey,” you say as you accept the call. Yoongi simply continues to kiss down your neck, clearly not giving a fuck that you’re on the phone with your boyfriend.

“Hey, where are you?”

“Oh, I, uh–”

Your phone gets snatched out of your hand and you’re too late to retrieve it when Yoongi puts the phone to his ear. “Hey, Daniel, my man. We’re having a late night dinner with the entire company. I promise, we’ll have her home by a reasonable time.”

Yoongi pushes you back by your shoulders when you try to snatch the phone back until you’re fully lying down, his free hand coming up to fondle your breast.

“Huh? Are you– wait, Agust D? Oh! Sorry, man. No, take your time, really. I was just wondering where she was. My bad, don’t have too much fun without me.”

He licks around your hardened nipples and simply hums in response, his free hand now traveling down your body to cup your sex, making you quietly gasp.

“Don’t worry, mate, we’re thinking about you,” Yoongi says as he glances up at you, a mischievous glint in his eyes as he winks, mouth still lathering your breast in kisses and saliva.

“Alright, thanks, man. See you.”

Yoongi doesn’t even say bye back as he hangs up and throws your phone aside, tugging the sheets further down your body to expose more of you to him.

“Yoongi,” you whisper-whine but show no efforts or intentions of stopping him.

He simply continues to tease your nipples with his mouth, your lip almost bursting from the pressure you’re putting on it with your teeth.

“So what if you’re a slut?” he asks as he glances up at you. “You’re a slut only for me, aren’t you?”

He’s saying it with a certain caution in his tone, like he’s testing the waters to make sure you’re okay with it.

“Yeah,” you reply breathily, watching him press soft kisses to your chest and down the valley of your breasts. His shoulders visibly drop in relief and then he rolls off of you, hands tracing and gripping your thighs until you’re automatically spreading your legs for him.

He softly exhales through his nose, something you can only describe to be a chuckle as your eyes intently watch him tease your folds with the tips of his fingers.

“Yoongi,” you whine.

“I already fucked you today. Why are you still this needy?” He hums after asking you a question he clearly knows the answer to, eyeing your sex before glancing up at you.

Unlike what he expected you to do, you simply say, “Because I like being with you.”

He blinks at you in confusion for a few moments before sitting up and gently closing your legs. “You know we don’t have to have sex to just enjoy each other’s company, right?”

Guilt bubbles up the back of his throat. Is that really the vibe he’s been giving you?

“Oh, I know.” You get comfortable against his pillows. “But you also make me really horny. I don’t know what it is but I just constantly want you inside of me.”

Well.

That’s enough for blood to instantly rush to Yoongi’s dick, hardening by the second as he watches your innocent face with that mischievous glint in your eyes.

His eyes drop down to your lips, so kissable and so pouty that it drives him insane. All he wants to do all day is kiss you, listen to you speak, maybe even fuck your face.

He tries to hide his boner but ultimately fails when your eyes drop to his groin and take notice. “Does that make you hard?”

He merely grunts in annoyance, spreading your legs again and pulling your body down to him.

“Shut up,” he mumbles, using his thumb to gently tease your clit. “I also really like being with you.”

That makes the corners of your mouth curl up, eyes hooded and screaming for attention. “Hm, I bet you do.”

He has to keep his eye from twitching. Just as he thought you were going to be obedient and easy to deal with for once, you prove him wrong.

And he can’t help but fucking love it.

“You keep up that attitude and I’m not giving you anythi–”

“You say that but your dick is practically begging for attention, look at it.” You nod toward his erection. “You can’t really hold it over my head if you’re also dying to put it in.”

You are so fucking insufferable.

All Yoongi does is slowly nod his head, clearly not enjoying the way you’re basically mocking him but he lets you run your mouth.

“I wonder if you talk this way to him,” he muses as he pushes your thighs back toward your torso, earning a gasp from you.

“What?”

“Is it because you know I won’t let you get off easy?” he starts, rubbing shapes onto your inner thighs.

“I just–”

“I was thinking out loud, be quiet.” He gets onto his knees in front of you, between your legs. Your eyes drop down to his erection, hard and screaming for attention.

“Make me,” you fire back.

Slap.

His hand comes down on your poor sex, making your legs jolt. “Ow! That hurt, Yoongi!”

“Watch your mouth.”

He shakes his head, his hand dropping down to spread your wetness all over your sex. You’re still wet from the last time he fucked you so you literally don’t need any prep but you know he’s not doing it to prep you, he’s doing it to tease you.

“But I want you to put me in my place,” you sigh quietly, legs gently jerking whenever his fingers inch closer to your pussy.

He simply laughs. “I know you do.” He runs his fingers up your slit, collecting your arousal and shaking his head in mock disappointment. “I’ve known that for a long time, you know.”

You huff quietly, crossing your arms over your chest like a child that wanted a blue cup to drink out of instead of a green one.

“You don’t know me,” you scoff, trying to act like his touch doesn’t have the effect on you that it does but his eyes take notice of the clench in your thighs and the goosebumps on your skin.

“That so?” he muses, eyes roaming your body. “You think I don’t know you? What you want?”

“Hm.”

“You think I don’t know you’re constantly provoking me because you just want me to give into you? Like you’re the person that finally got me to break out of character?” he says as he moves to the side of your body, lips closing in on your neck and fingers teasing your sex as he coats your collarbones in kisses.

You merely grunt in response.

“That you’re one of the only ones that got to see Yoongi instead of Agust D?”

You roll your head back, making him kiss up your throat and press kisses to your jaw. “It makes you feel special, doesn’t it?”

You tense under him and he notices instantly but he doesn’t say anything else and neither do you. At least not for a few moments.

“So what if it does? Don’t you feel special that I’m in your bed right now instead of my boyfriend’s? Aren’t you glad to know?”

This makes Yoongi pull away from your neck to glance at you. There’s a glint of something in your eyes that Yoongi can’t quite put his finger on but that’s not what made him pull away.

It’s because Yoongi thought of something.

“What?” you ask, having taken notice of Yoongi’s switch in demeanor.

He quickly shakes his head and says, “Nothing, it’s nothing. Just relax for me.”

You simply stare at him in confusion before relaxing again and keeping your legs spread while he pushes his middle and ring finger into you. You quietly whimper as he starts massaging your walls, legs jolting whenever he curls his fingers to assault your g-spot.

“You’re so needy,” he mumbles, leaning in to press his lips against yours whilst he pumps his fingers into you at a slow, insanity-inducing pace.

“Do you like it when I’m needy for you?” you innocently mewl, knowing damn well it’s you that would like the thought of that.

“Hm,” he pauses, “I do, actually.”

There’s more where that came from as he keeps whispering more of these things to you, ending his night by fucking you into his mattress for a second time that day.

•••

“Give me my phone!” you whine as Seokjin holds it further out of your reach.

“No, you’re going to tell me everything,” he declares, sliding your phone into his pocket as he waves a waiter over to come take your order.

You groan and childishly slouch in your seat, crossing your arms over your chest. “Tell you what?”

He simply shrugs his shoulders. “You and your boss. And don’t tell me nothing’s going on because I know what you look and act like when you’ve been getting fucked right.”

You press your lips together, trying to ignore the tingle in your stomach.

Right, Seokjin used to fuck you good and he’s still really attractive but so what? You broke it off years ago, there’s no reason for his words to have that much of an impact on you.

You stomp on his foot underneath the table. “Don’t talk like that.”

He screeches in pain and then laughs, waving his hand at you in dismissal. “So? Are you gonna tell me or what?”

You snap, “What is there to tell? We’ve been fucking for a few months now. Happy?”

His lips curl up into a smirk. “I knew it.”

You roll your eyes and shut your mouth once the waiter arrives, introducing himself and silently taking your order.

“How’d you break up with Daniel?” Seokjin asks once the waiter leaves, taking a sip of his glass of water.

Your throat dries up in an instant, urging you to take a sip from your own water. “Uh,” you mumble, eyes glued to the utensils in front of you.

Your eyes shift up to his and you watch in real time as the realization sets. “You haven’t, have you?” he asks quietly, a slight tilt to his head and his brows slightly pinched together.

You sigh. “It just… kind of happened and I just kept delaying it. I’m gross, I know.”

He shakes his head. “That’s not what I mean. I’m talking about the fact that you’re in the public eye now. You need to be careful.”

Oh.

He’s right.

This early on in your career and having a cheating scandal would obliterate any dream you have left. You would never be able to bounce back, especially when the other man is someone with a reputation and fanbase like Agust D.

“Yeah… You’re right. I know. I’ll have that talk with him one of these days.”

You enjoy your meal with Seokjin and by the time you’ve made it to dessert, you’ve realized he still has your phone.

Once you have it back in your possession, you excuse yourself and decide to call Yoongi once you walk onto the parking lot.

“Hey,” you say once he picks up.

“Hey. Everything okay?”

“Yeah… yeah. It’s just that, uh,” you sigh, trying to think of a way to say this. “My friend has brought something to my attention.”

“Hm. Which is?”

“I have a reputation to uphold now, now that I’m in the public eye, Yoongi.”

“Slow down,” he starts, sounding slightly panicked. “Meaning what?”

“Meaning I need to break up with him, if word got out about a cheating scandal, my career would be over–”

“Stop, stop, stop.” He’s silent for a few moments. “Meet me at my place in an hour, okay?”

You sigh and rub your hairline, looking up at the night sky in distress. “Okay.”

“Okay. See you soon.”

With that, you end the conversation and stand there for a moment longer before heading back inside and finishing your meal with Seokjin. He never once judges you or brings it up again.

Well, he’s the one that kind of liked the idea of you and Yoongi but still. That doesn’t mean he should approve.

•••

You make your way to Yoongi’s home, typing the password into the keypad and strutting down the stone path leading to his front door.

Before you even knock, the door swings open, revealing Yoongi in a bathrobe with damp hair and a toothbrush in his mouth.

Déjà vu.

He steps aside right away, wordlessly inviting you in. You do so and simply follow him all the way to his room, a path you’ve quickly memorized.

He walks into his bathroom and rinses his mouth as you drop your purse onto his bed and follow him into the bathroom, leaning against the doorframe and looking at him through the mirror.

You start, “So?”

He dries his mouth and turns to look at you. “So.”

You blink at him in confusion. “What do you think? Should I just bite the bullet and break it off tonight?”

To your surprise, he slowly turns around and looks at you whilst leaning against his sink. “No.”

Huh?

What is he on about?

Your brows pinch together. “What do you mean ‘no’? You literally pushed me to break up with him.”

He slowly nods his head as he rubs his chin, his robe slowly coming undone and showing you part of his chest. Fuck.

Concentrate.

“I did but,” he pauses and runs a hand through his damp hair before turning around to face the mirror again and applying some moisturizer to his face. “I think you shouldn’t.”

“Yoongi, my career–”

“Your career will be fine. That’d only be real bad if it did get out, which it won’t.” He blends the cream into his skin.

You think about his words for a moment. “I don’t understand why we’d have to risk it, though.”

“Because,” he says as he turns around. “Having him in the picture will keep those noisy people out of our business.”

Huh?

Your brows pinch together once his words reach your ears. “Meaning what?”

He exhales and takes a moment before walking up to you. “Meaning, if you’re still dating, people will focus on your relationship. The public eye loves celebrity romance, don’t ask why because I wish I knew.”

He places his hands on your hips, pulling you closer. “Their eyes being focused on you and him would mean no one would have the time to nitpick whatever we got going on. It’s a lot easier for them to link you to your boss when you’re a beautiful, young woman that also happens to be single.”

Oh.

You hadn’t thought of it like that.

Huh.

Okay then.

So, long story short; just keep schemin’.

You figure that’s what he thought of when he suddenly paused last night, the time you were in the middle of getting freaky.

You nod slowly, your eyes trailing his jawline and down the column of his throat.

What a son of a bitch.

He doesn’t have the time to react when you suddenly grab him by the collar of his white bathrobe and push him towards his bed, watching as he falls against his soft mattress.

He leans back on his elbows and looks up at you with a frown on his brows but he doesn’t say anything else.

You quickly rid yourself of your jacket, tossing it somewhere across the floor and then make work of ditching your shirt and pants.

His frown turns into an amused expression, leaning further back as he watches you strip in front of him.

You quip, “Memories?”

“Of my strip club days? Kinda.” He continues to smirk, tongue peeking out at the corner of his mouth.

Bastard.

You kick his foot and he simply laughs, still watching you undress for him.

“Get rid of that,” you mumble as you point at his robe, stepping out of your pants in the meantime and kicking them across the floor.

He simply chuckles as he undoes his robe and shows you his naked figure, dick instantly slapping his stomach.

Damn.

“Fuck,” you whisper as you watch him grab his dick, pumping himself as he watches you intently. You quickly ditch your bra and panties before walking up to him, reaching for his dick.

But he shakes his head and slaps your hand away. “Come sit on my face.”

Holy shit.

“Uh,” you murmur, scratching the back of your neck. “I’m not sure you–”

“Y/N, babe, shut the fuck up and come sit that ass on my face.”

Jerk.

You like it when he’s mean, though.

You huff, childishly crossing your arms over your chest as you watch him get comfortable on his bed, his head near the headboard. He says, “I’m not gonna wait all fucking day. Get on.”

The only thing you can do is scowl but you find yourself crawling onto his bed without another protest, slowly climbing onto his face. You throw your leg over his face, positioning your pussy right on top of his mouth.

His dark eyes catch the nervous lip chewing but he simply slaps your ass. “Sit.”

You grunt in response and slowly lower your body onto his face, a soft whimper leaving your lips when his tongue wastes no time licking a stripe up your wet pussy.

His hand comes down to your ass in another rough slap. “Ride my face.”

A pathetic moan rips through your throat as you begin to grind into his face, allowing yourself to feel every single inch of his tongue devouring you. His hands tightly grab your asscheeks, helping you grind at a pace you both like until you’re a moaning mess on top of him.

You let out a soft groan when the tip of his finger gently teases the rim of your asshole but he never pushes it inside. You assume he’s waiting for verbal permission, something you’ve not given him yet.

“Fuck, your mouth feels good.” You throw your head back as you cup your breasts, pinching at your nipples as more slick oozes out of you and onto his mouth.

“Oh, fuck. I’m gonna cum soon,” you moan as you continue to grind your clit into his nose, the stimulation sending you right out of Earth’s atmosphere. Your grip on the headboard in front of you is tight, almost making your knuckles hurt as you use it to support some of your weight from the momentum of your grinding.

“Cum on my face,” he orders, massaging your asscheeks as he continues to fuck his tongue in and out of you.

“Fuck, fuck,” you cry out as your stomach twists and your thighs clench, a loud sob leaving your lips as your orgasm hits you like a truck.

You can barely move which makes Yoongi jump in and move his lips up to wrap around your clit, sucking on it to stimulate you through your orgasm.

Fuck. He’s way too fucking good at using his tongue. Whether that’s during sex or in a conversation.

He continues to lick all over your sex, licking up all you have to offer until you whimper from the overstimulation.

You try to catch your breath, leaning your head against the headboard. By doing that, you instantly make eye contact with Yoongi and fuck – does he look good.

His long black locks are sprawled out around his head, eyes hooded and his face from the nose down is just drenched in your pussy slick.

“You look really good.” The words leave you in a giggle and he just slaps your ass again which makes you hop off. You fall onto the mattress beside him, staring up at the ceiling and trying to come down from that crazy high.

He wipes his chin with the back of his hand, not caring much before he tugs you toward him. “Let me fuck you.”

“Who’s the needy one now?” you hum in satisfaction, eyes closed as he traces your waist with the tip of his finger.

“Me. I need to fuck you real bad right now.” He sits up but you’re quicker than him.

You push him back toward his mattress and slowly climb onto him. “I’m riding you,” you state as you position yourself on top of him, lining his dick up at your pulsating pussy. You refuse to let him be in control all the time.

The smirk on his lips makes you roll your eyes but you grin in victory when you slide down onto his shaft without a warning and watch his face twist in pleasure.

You yelp as you sink all the way down, teeth harshly biting down on your bottom lip as you blink your tears away. The stretch in your walls burns so good, making you dizzy, making you needy, making you crazy.

“Giving up already?” he teases, another sting spreading through your asscheek where he just smacked you.

“Fuck you,” you moan as you place your hands directly on his chest and start bouncing up and down, eyes tightly shut as you try not to scream.

“Yeah, fuck yourself on my dick, princess. Just like a brat should.” He grips your hips tightly, guiding you up and down his shaft, his hips meeting yours halfway as he fucks you back.

“Yoongi,” you cry, losing all that energy and brattiness as you fall forwards onto his chest, burying your face into the crook of his neck.

Despite not having said a word aside from just his name, he hears your plead loud and clear and begins to fuck upwards into you, pinning your arms into your lower back.

“When you called me and started about your career and reputation, I thought you were going to tell me we should stop this,” he says in between thrusts and heavy breaths, continuing to pound you. “So, I have to make sure you never even think about ending this.”

He tightly grips your wrists as he fucks you, listening to your cries and moans as he chases his own orgasm.

“That why you sounded so panicked?” you tease but he doesn’t let you emerge the victor as he harshly fucks into to the point you can’t even form a coherent thought.

“Oh, fuck. Fuck,” you sob, teeth biting down on the skin that connects his neck to his shoulder, biting and sucking all you can.

“You gonna mark me, huh?” he grunts, his hips never faltering in speed.

“Yes,” you pause as you try to steady your breath. “When’s the last time you fucked Sarang?”

This makes his thrusts come to a halt. He pauses for so long that it makes you lift your head and search his eyes but he’s simply staring at you.

“Wh–”

You can barely finish your sentence when he suddenly flips you over, pushing you back onto the mattress and wedges his hips in between yours before sliding right into your cunt again, grabbing both of your legs by the back of your knees as he starts fucking into you again.

“Jealous?” he asks, his eyes glued to the way your breasts bounce from the impact of his thrusts. “How would you feel if I asked about your last time with Dan–”

“6 months ago. Now you,” you say with no hesitation aside from the loud moans and cries escaping your throat.

He blinks at you but then chuckles and shakes his head before lifting your legs up onto his shoulders so he can lower himself and hover his face right above yours. “I last fucked her the night of the music video shoot.”

…

What?

He catches the frown in your brows but doesn’t comment on it, simply keeps fucking you to chase his own high.

“Why that nigh–”

He deadpans, “Because you made me horny as fuck.”

Holy shit. Did he fuck her simply because you had turned him on?

You cry out once he starts snapping his hips aggressively into you, face lowering even further to press his lips against yours.

You whimper against his lips, eyes shut tightly as the tip of his dick barely grazes your cervix.

“Rub yourself for me,” he whispers against your lips and it only means he’s close to his orgasm.

You comply without another thought, reaching down your stomach to rub your poor sensitive clit as he continues to drill into you.

“I’m gonna cum, where do you want it?” he whispers as he pulls away from your lips. You open your eyes and glance up at him, brows furrowed and soft moans continuously falling from your lips. He’s been cumming inside of you ever since you two started sleeping together but he still makes it a thing to ask every time.

“I want it deep inside of me, sir. Give it to me,” you moan, watching how his face twists from you calling him ‘sir’.

“Fuck. You’re gonna make me fill you up again, huh?” he grunts and his hips start stuttering in their movement, telling you that he’s close.

“I only ever want you to fill me up, boss.”

Those words are all he needs to shoot his load straight into you, painting your slick walls in his cum and long cuss words fall from his lips. “You’re gonna be the death of me,” he grunts in between sloppy thrusts, lips coming down to kiss you again as he rides out his orgasm.

You hum against his lips, your fingers still furiously rubbing circles onto your clit. If he keeps kissing you like this for a moment longer, you’re going to cum. Hard.

“Keep going,” you whimper against his lips as you rub your clit faster once the familiar knot in your stomach starts coming undone.

“Anything,” he whispers, picking the pace back up as he fucks you to your orgasm.

“Oh, shit, fuck,” you cry out even more cuss words when your orgasm finally hits you, dropping onto you like a pile of fucking bricks.

You sob his name as he snaps his hips into yours, fucking you through your orgasm, still not removing his lips from yours because he knows how much you like being kissed during your orgasm. And he likes it too.

After a few more lazy thrusts, he finally comes to a full halt inside of you. “Shit,” he whispers as he parts his lips from yours and drops your legs from his shoulders.

You both try to catch your breath in silence, not much else being said.

“Heh,” is all you can get out when you think about it. He leans down to kiss your neck, cheek, lips, all over your face until he notices the mischievous glimmer in your eyes and a shit eating grin on your lips.

“What?” he asks, confusion coating his tone.

But that’s it. After he told you his little plan on using Daniel to keep the public eye out of your business with Yoongi, you’ve finally realized something after all this time.

“Nothing, just,” you say as you nonchalantly shrug your shoulders and move your hands up to cup his cheeks. “You were always saying I was scheming but…” You look up at him with the most bratty look in your eyes you can muster. “But you’ve kinda been the schemer all along.”

At this, he stares at you with a blank expression for a while but you know him well enough to notice he’s looking for a way to answer this, and he does.

His eyes narrow at you like they would all the time back in your earlier days at the company and a smirk starts tugging at the corners of his lips. And the next few words out of his pretty mouth knocks the oxygen right out of your lungs.

“I can’t believe you’re just now realizing that, baby.”

— May be continued in a sequel.

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[borderlinehannibal]

Hey remember when a bunch of fanfoms had like audio porn blogs? Like homesm//utvoices/smu//tstuckvoices, and whatever the snk and dangan ronpa ones were (undert//ale also had a huge audio community).

Pepperidge farm remembers.

[jawritter]

You and Me...

Chapter 3

***SERIES WARNINGS**** Rape, non-con, male!rape, injury, violence, description of injury caused by rape, nightmares, self-harm, panic attacks, implied female non-con, language, ass hole Jensen, hurt!Jensen, dark fic, smut. If there is anything else I will add it as I go.

***Chatper Warnings*** 

Word Coung: 2464

Pairing: Jensen Ackles X Reader, Jared x reader, OFC Steve x Reader, OFC Justin x Reader. Misha x Reader, Jensen x Jared, Jensen x Misha

A/N: When I originally wrote this chapter I didn’t even know who Steve Carlson was, so the Steve in this story isn’t him lol. Oddly enough I wrote this before I even really knew he was making an album lol. Anyway, all mistakes are mine, please don’t copy my work, Feedback is golden. If you want to be added to the series tag list, or my tag list just let me know! I hope you enjoy this one. After this chapter things tend to start to pick up a little.

Summary: It’s funny how one choice you made can change your whole life. One mistake can alter your course, and set you on a path that forever will haunt you. Two people find themselves getting through one of the hardest trials of Jensen’s life, on just one small promise. You and Me. We’ll get through it together…

Want more? Check out my Masterlist!!

***MASTERLIST***

***YOU AND ME MASTERLIST***

Last night was a bad night for you. You were crushed that Jensen thought you were just some slut that likes to flirt with every married man that came through the studio because not a word of that was true. The way he was looking at you when he said it. There was no emotion in his eyes whatsoever. Just coldness. He looked at you like you were just another gold-digging whore. You don’t know why his opinion of you crushed you so badly, but it did.

It’s not like it was unusual in the industry that you were working in. Groupies came all the time to hang out and see if they could land themselves an upcoming artist that has potential, then ride that ride all the way down to music row. Steve did try and keep them at bay because he couldn't stand that part of the industry. It didn’t stop them from coming, but at least he did try.

You were no groupie, you worked your ass off to get to where you were in your job. You did it yourself through straight hard work and talent. You had no favors, no handouts, nothing. Everything you had, everything you accomplished, it was all you. 

Women are looked down on in most businesses, but in the entertainment industry, that reputation of whore seems to resound past any talent a woman might have. It wasn't usual for men to come in, and treat you the way Jensen had yesterday, but when he did it, it really hurt.

The way he jerked the coffee out of your hand, not even looking at you. Like you were nothing, trash, someone that wasn't worthy to be in his presents. 

That cut you deep.

Why did you care so much what this snob thought about you? You didn't like the way his opinion of you made you feel. The way it seemed to etch itself into you, and take root there. You whipped away a stray tear that was making its way down your face.

Most of the night you dreamed of Demon Dean. Because that's who he looked like yesterday when he demanded Steve make you bring him his coffee. 

The nightmares were vivid, more vivid than you’d ever experienced in your life. 

You used to like Demon Dean. You found it to be an interesting take on Dean's character. Now though. It gave you chills. You didn't know how you were going to face Jensen today. Still, you weren't going to let it cost you your job. You’d worked too hard, and come too far to let one man’s opinion of you destroy everything you had worked to build for yourself. 

So you text Steve back for the thousandth time just this morning telling him that you were fine and would see him in a little while. Justin and Steve knew you pretty well, and they could tell how Jensen's opinion of you had affected you. You had never walked out on a job before like that. Steve knew you weren’t just not feeling well and needed to go home. He knew Jensen had gotten to you. 

You just wish you knew why it affected you so much. You never cared what people thought about you before. It didn't make sense.

You jump in the shower quickly. Not feeling real into dressing up today, which there was no dress code at your job anyway, you throw on an old black and white Slipknot band shirt Justin had bought you years ago for a dirty Santa gift at work. It was comfortable, so, therefore, it was your favorite. A black pair of skinny ripped jeans, and a pair of black and white converse. You threw your hair into a messy bun and a light dusting of makeup. Today, that was just as good as it was going to get.

You just didn't feel pretty this morning. So you didn't see any need in trying. Yesterday you did the work, and it did not go well. Business suit, perfect hair, makeup. Still, you were just a whore that liked to flirt with married men and needed to get Jensen his coffee.

As soon as you walked into the recording room this morning Justin and Steve were on their feet giving you a hug.

 "Don't pay attention to that overpaid, spoiled fuck Y/N," Justin said, pulling you into a bone-crushing hug. 

"Yeah, Jen's back today. She can pack him his damn coffee, and I hope she spits in it," Steve said through gritted teeth. 

They were a little overprotective of you, so this reaction didn't surprise you. They had become like family to you over the years. They treated you like a little sister, and they had no problem going to war for you if they had to. 

You look through the glass in front of you and see Jennifer sitting up everything for the day. She was young, probably 19 or 20, you didn't really ever ask. She was pretty though. Long blonde hair. Skinnier than you were, even though you weren't really all that heavy.  Blue eyes. 

She would probably make it far in the entertainment industry one day on her looks alone. She was dressed in her usual casual skinny jeans and tank top. You smirk at the fact that Jensen was probably gonna eat her alive today since he obviously had a problem with women. She looked a little to you like a gold-digging groupie the more you thought about it. She was a working mom though, and you respected her for that. It was hard to be a young mom, much less a working young mom.

"Has Jensen arrived yet?" you turn to Steve and ask, dreading the moment he walked into the studio already. 

Also, you were inwardly regretting your outfit choice. You weren't sure who would be under attack more, Jennifer, or you. 

"No, he's running a little late. Jared will be here again today, along with Misha Collins. He's in town for some type of charity function, and Jensen invited him to come to watch a little today," Steve said, turning to his buzzing phone, and walking out of the recording room.

You turned about to say that you hoped Misha wasn't as big of an ass hole as Jensen when you saw the group of actors walk into the studio. “Well crap, here it goes.”

"Misha, this is Y/N, and Justin, that girl in there putting out drinks is Jennifer," Steve said, and you all shook Misha's hand. He greeted everyone warmly and seemed to be a genuinely friendly guy. Jensen was looking at you with a look of distaste on his face, but there was a look in his eyes that you didn't recognize, something you hadn't seen yesterday, even if he was staring at you and snarling at you in a cocky smirk.

"What is this?" he asked gesturing up, and down your small frame. He was a giant compared to you. "Casual Tuesday? You are aware that it's not Friday yet right?" he blows off in a cocky tone. 

Misha and Jared turn to stare at him, but you say nothing. Taking a deep calming breath you turn around and start logging into the equipment. Misha came and took a seat by you, giving your shoulder a comforting squeeze. You smile at him and watch as Jennifer enters the room. “Showtime,” you think to yourself, but boy did you get the shock, and disappointment of your life.

"Well, well, I don't believe we met yesterday. What's your name beautiful?" Jensen said, turning to Jennifer.

You felt your stomach lurch, and you fraught to hold onto your breakfast. You got up and excused yourself to the bathroom. Steve and Justin watched you like you might snap at any minute. 

Well, he wants to be a jackass then two can play at this game. You were in control of today's recording session, and today wasn't going to be an easy one, for Jensen anyway. You, on the other hand, were going to enjoy this.

You walked out of the bathroom after composing your emotions and ran headlong into the large frame that was Jared. He grabbed your shoulders to steady you and keep you from falling back on your ass. 

"Sorry," he said in a rush. 

"It's okay," you retorted, turning a little red. Could you just not do anything right today? 

"I wanted to talk to you before we got started today. I want to apologize for the way Jensen is acting toward you. I've never seen him act quite like this toward anyone. He's going a divorce. It was just finalized yesterday. He's under a lot of stress," you held your hand up to stop Jared's retort of excuses he was trying to make for his friend's attitude.

"I'm sure he will be able to blow off a little steam with Jennifer on the break. Maybe if he gets one off he won't be such a dick. Now If you'll excuse me I've got work to do," you say, pushing past Jared before he could say anything and stepping back toward the recording room.

Neither of you saw Jensen leaning against the door in the hallway. He’d heard every word that Jared had said to you, and he was livid.

"What the fuck Jar?" Jensen said, making his presence known to his friend. Jared swore under his breath, turning to face a red face; and obviously pissed Jensen. 

"I could ask you the same question," Jared said, rounding on his friend. "What you do have against Y/N? She's done nothing to you, and you act like such an ass towards her every time you open your mouth?!"

Jensen stood there with his head cocked to the side. He had been acting like a dick, he was well aware of it. Still, he couldn't help it. Whether she was doing it on purpose or not she was driving him crazy, and he couldn’t quite put his finger on why. She was beautiful, but that wasn't it. It was something he felt deep down in his gut every time she looked at him. It scared him a little. He thought Danneel was the love of his life, he shouldn’t be feeling this way this early after a divorce. Maybe Y/N was right, maybe he did just need to get one off...

"Do you hate her or something?" Jared said, looking at his friend's dead-looking eyes with concern. Ever since Danneel had left him it was like Jensen had just shut down emotionally. He hated it. Hated seeing his friend like this.

"No, I don't hate her Jared," Jensen said, rubbing his hand through his hair, and turning to walk back into the recording room. Not wanting to have this conversation. 

"Well, you got a real fucked up way of showing it, man," Jared said as Jensen closed the door.

----------------------------------

Three hours later Jensen was about six mess ups into the same song he'd sang one thousand times. Mostly because every time you heard a note slightly off you would turn the mike on, and yell, "That's wrong, do it again". 

By now his face was red and he was getting pissed. You couldn’t help yourself though, you found it deeply satisfying. Every time you made him start over Jared and Misha would laugh hysterically behind you. Both of them thought that Jensen was getting exactly what he deserved. Jensen had obviously met his match.

"This whole house had got to be shaken.'."

"Wrong. Do it again."

"This whole house had got to be shaken.'."

"Wrong. Do it again."

"This whole house had got to be shaken’."

"Wrong. Do it again."

"This whole house had got to be shaken'."

"Wrong. Do it again."

This time Jensen had all he could take. 

"What is your fucking problem you bitch," he yelled into the microphone, and the whole room fell silent as the two of you stared at each other. Jensen was on his feet breathing heavily. His voice was slightly hoarse from trying to hit the same note over and over again. Still, he was slightly off every time, and you had every intention to make him do it until he got it right. The miss was so subtle that you would have to be listening to really hear it, most people wouldn’t have even caught it, and that's what made it fun for you. You were gonna make this ass hole lose his shit. Just like he was trying to do you. You were going to beat him in his own game.

You reached over and turned the speaker back on, staring at him, not even blinking. Everyone in the room was holding their breath. 

"You keep hitting the wrong note. You are gonna do it until you get it right. Now... Again..."

You stare at him coldly, and he looked at you like if you were a man he'd hit you. Misha started to snicker under his breath behind you, leaning over he whispered to Jared, "I like this one." 

You try to hide the smirk that threatens to play at your lips.

Jensen put his guitar back on his shoulder and began to strum the chorus again. Looking at you with a shit-eating grin on his face this time, which confused you a little. Was he enjoying this? Damn that man was gorgeous. Too bad he was a dick.

"This whole house had got to be shaken'," 

That time he hit it. He even realized when he hit it. The look of shock sat on everyone in the room's face. He finished out the chorus and you came back on the mic. 

He was standing there staring at you. A hard, yet mischievous look on his face. Something in his eyes lighting up for the first time since you met him. 

"That's a wrap," you say over the spacker, turning to Justin and Steve who were both grinning at you too. 

"Shut it down. That's enough for today," with that, you grabbed your stuff, hugged Misha who was laughing uncontrollably at the look on Jensen's face as you hugged Jared too; then left for the day more than a little proud of yourself. 

This man, he does something to you. Something you don't quite understand. He pulls a side of you out that you never knew was there, but you kinda like it. If you were being honest. You had forgotten what it felt like to stand up against something on your own two feet. 

Ever since you moved back to Austin after the death of both your parents, you had lost your fight somehow, and you hadn’t even realized it. Jensen seemed to be pulling that fight out of you, even if he didn’t mean to do it, or realize that he was doing it. 

You needed this challenge, and you sure as fuck weren’ going to let him win. 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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[goldenraeofsun]

‘cause right now you're mine

set in this verse

THURSDAY, APRIL 2nd

Dean 12:01 You didn’t tell me you led Carver Prep’s quiz bowl team???

Castiel 12:15 It’s in the middle of the school day and you’re texting. What kind of example are you setting for your students?

Castiel 12:16 I didn’t tell you because it wasn’t relevant.

Dean 12:17 Haha smartass I’m having lunch in my office Youre texting me back so i see right through you And of course it’s freaking relevant

Castiel 12:20 How?

Dean 12:21 Because I got tapped to coach Edlund High's quiz bowl team this morning!

Castiel 12:21 Oh no.

Dean 12:30 Oh no is right buddy

Castiel 12:37 I thought you coached the softball team.

Dean 12:37 I can do both You’re dating a very talented man

Castiel 12:49 I know that. I just didn’t know it extended to quiz bowls and softball in addition to blow jobs and breaking and entering places to give blow jobs.

Dean 12:52 What the fuck is wrong with you I’m in school! My lunch hour is almost over I’ll have to get up from my desk very soon This is all your fault

Castiel 12:59 :)

Dean 1:00 Just for that No blow jobs for you tonight

Castiel 1:07 :(

 MONDAY, APRIL 6th

Dean 11:55 I bet I can grade more midterms than you today

Castiel 11:58 I know better than to make bets with you, Dean Winchester.

Dean 12:03 It was just a kiss I bet you’re just pissed you lost

Castiel 12:04 I can’t engage in PDA in front of my niece and one of my students at a school event!

Dean 12:04 Youre such a prude

Castiel 12:06 Unlike some teachers, I maintain boundaries between my personal and professional life.

Dean 12:07 Prude.

Castiel 12:09 Did you text me on a Monday afternoon just to harass me about my reluctance to kiss my boyfriend in front of minors?

Dean 12:11 Huh Boyfriend

Castiel 12:20 Dean?

Dean 12:21 What?

Castiel 12:22 Is everything okay?

Dean 12:23 Other than *my boyfriend* refusing to even entertain the idea of a friendly wager?

Castiel 12:23 Yes, other than that.

Dean 12:23 No

Castiel 12:25 That’s good. You scared me for a second.

Dean 12:26 I did?

Castiel 12:26 Are you okay with being my boyfriend? The long gap between our messages made me realize we haven’t talked about it before.

Dean 12:27 I mean it’s a little weird My 16 year old students have boyfriends “boyfriend” seems a little I don’t know Juvenile We’re not 16 anymore, Cas Thank god.

Castiel 12:30 Would you prefer “partner”?

Castiel 12:31 It’s just whenever I hear someone call their significant other “partner” I can never tell if they are talking about their life partner, same-sex partner, police partner, or if they are cowboys. That was a joke! Ignore this. I remember how much you like Westerns. “Partners” is off the table.

Dean 12:31 HOWDY YALL THIS IS MY PARTNER CAS

Castiel 12:31 Please never introduce me to someone like this.

Dean 12:32 Only if you watch Tombstone with me tonight

Castiel 12:33 Can I still grade my midterms?

Dean 12:35 You’re killing me here Cas Yes

Castiel 12:40 I’m your huckleberry

 SUNDAY, APRIL 12th

Castiel 2:19 Good luck with the softball game today!

Dean 2:21 You’d better make it up for me for missing this one Its the semifinals

Castiel 2:22 I will. Say “hi” to Claire for me.

Dean 2:27 What the hell? Why is she here? We’re not even playing Carver

Castiel 2:29 She has a crush on Kaia Nieves

Dean 2:30 Ohhhhh That explains a lot

Castiel 2:30 She thinks she’s being subtle.

Dean 2:37 I see that runs in the family Subtle as a brick wall. All of you.

Castiel 2:38 Excuse me, you had no idea about my feelings for you back in high school.

Dean 2:49 So? Charlie said you were obvious as fuck But it didn’t matter since I was a dumbass

Castiel 2:50 I prefer oblivious Less dumb Less ass

Dean 2:57 How dare you My ass is a goddamn gift. You take that back right now

Castiel 2:59 Of course. Don’t you have a game to coach?

Dean 3:01 Shit you’re right

 TUESDAY, APRIL 14th

Castiel 11:18 I know how I can make up for missing that last softball game last weekend

Dean 12:01 Sorry The kids called me out for texting you 5 mins before the bell last time How the hell did i get stuck with a class full of narcs

Castiel 12:03 It’s probably karma For all the rule breaking you did in school

Dean 12:05 Hey I wasn’t that bad

Castiel 12:05 You frequently defaced school desks and returned library books after their due date.

Dean 12:06 I’m dating a narc too???

Castiel 12:07 You didn’t ask what I have planned.

Dean 12:07 OK i’ll bite What do you have planned babe? Please tell me it’s not another documentary on bees That was depressing The grand canyon one was cool though

Castiel 12:10 Speaking of narcs

Dean 12:10 This doesn’t sound good

Castiel 12:11 When I had to get my extra copy of Camus from my car, I stumbled on Miriam at the edge of the parking lot with a few more students. They were skipping class and smoking marijuana. Naturally, I reported them to the administration.

Dean 12:13 Not helping your not-a-narc case

Castiel 12:13 They received detention for skipping class.

Dean 12:13 And the drugs?

Castiel 12:13 I may have neglected to report the drug use.

Dean 12:14 Seriously?

Castiel 12:14 I still confiscated it. Research evidence shows marijuana has negative effects on the developing brain.

Dean 12:14 I guess that’s fair

Dean 12:15 Hang on Do you still have it? OUR brains are old as balls Seriously, are you telling me you have weed now?

Castiel 12:15 Surprise?  I can throw it out if you’d prefer to do something else tonight.

Dean 12:15 Dont you dare!!! I’m going to get a six pack on the way home, download the last Star Wars, and we’re gonna do this right Your place or mine?

Castiel 12:16 I have been neglecting laundry lately. Yours?

Dean 12:16 You’re on This is going to be so awesome

 WEDNESDAY, APRIL 15th

Dean 12:06 Did you really mean to invite me to dinner with your brother?

Castiel 12:09 I didn’t mean to bring it up when we were high, but the invitation still stands. Claire told him we were together. He wants to meet you.

Dean 12:11 Oh

Castiel 12:11 You do not have to say yes.

Dean 12:13 I’ll go It just took me by surprise

Castiel 12:13 I don’t want to pressure you.

Dean 12:14 Youre not pressuring me

Castiel 12:14 Are you sure?

Dean 12:16 Look, I just know your relationship with your brother is complicated And I don’t want to stick my foot in it By accident or some other way

Castiel 12:20 We’re in a better place than I’d like to admit. I spent a long time resenting Jimmy for the time he had with Father. But it wasn’t his fault Father was a bastard who had a second family he preferred to be with. Jimmy was barely in middle school when Father started going on his “business trips”

Dean 12:21 Jesus christ You told me bit about it back in high school But I didn’t realize it was a second family situation

Castiel 12:21 Mother kept it from us for years. I still haven’t forgiven her for it.

Dean 12:21 Are you OK?

Castiel 12:22 I’m fine. It was a long time ago.

Dean 12:22 That stuff takes a long time to get over.

Castiel 12:22 I suppose.

Dean 12:23 Is it okay if you stay at mine tonight?

Castiel 12:24 Our next date isn’t until Friday

Dean 12:24 I don’t want to wait until Friday to see you

Castiel 12:27 Can you pick me up at Carver at 4pm?

Dean 12:27 You got it More time with you and my baby Win-win!

 FRIDAY, APRIL 24th

Dean 11:51 Are you sure what I usually wear to school is OK?

Castiel 11:53 You texted me nine minutes early?

Dean 11:53 Shut up I had to bribe my kids For NINE extra minutes Friggin tyrants

Castiel 11:54 What did they extort from you?

Dean 11:54 I promised to throw out their lowest pop quiz grade

Castiel 11:54 That isn’t too bad.

Dean 11:54 I was already planning on doing it

Castiel 11:55 Clever of you.

Dean 11:56 You’re not just dating a pretty face But getting back to dinner with your brother Is a regular button up OK? The tie hides most of the sloppy joe stain

Castiel 11:56 I’m sure you look very handsome

Dean 11:57 I can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic or not

Castiel 11:57 I rarely manage sarcasm in-person. What makes you think I would attempt it over text?

Dean 11:58 Good point

Castiel 11:58 You’re a very good-looking man, Dean. I’ve known this since we were 15.

Dean 11:59 Stop it you’re making me blush

Castiel 12:01 It’s the truth.

Dean 12:04 Alright, alright I’m already sleeping with you No need to butter me up

Dean 12:05 It’s just I remember how you used to talk about him The perfect big brother

Castiel 12:07 More like the perfect student and perfect son. Jimmy was honestly too busy to be much of a brother. The 11 year age difference didn’t help. When I was in high school, he already had the perfect nuclear family on the way.

Dean 12:07 Exactly

Castiel 12:08 Exactly what?

Dean 12:08 You’re lucky I know you And I know you’re not drawing this out on purpose Look, i want to make a good impression, OK? he seems like a hard guy to please.

Castiel 12:09 I That’s very admirable of you, but it’s entirely unnecessary.

Dean 12:10 He’s your family

Castiel 12:11 And I understand family is very important to you, but it isn’t the same with me. It would be very nice if dinner goes well, but if it does not, I will not care in the slightest.

Dean 12:11 Really?

Castiel 12:11 Truly.

 SATURDAY, APRIL 25th

11:16 I’m sorry for my dad.

Dean 11:17 Who is this? 

11:20 Claire Novak

Dean 11:21 How did you get this number?

Claire 11:23 Alex Jones

Dean 11:24 How did Alex get my number???

Claire 11:24 It was on the softball permission forms How did you not know this Didn’t you draft them?

Dean 11:25 It’s been a while I’m a very busy man

Claire 11:25 Sure. Anyway, my dad was a dick.  Totally out of line last night

Dean 11:26 Shouldn’t you be texting Cas about this?

Claire 11:26 I don’t have his number

Dean 11:26 Cas wasn’t kidding when he said you guys weren’t close

Claire 11:27 Nope.

Dean 11:27 Well I am very close with my brother He’s a lawyer out in California

Claire 11:27 Good for you???

Dean 11:29 It doesn’t sit right with me that Cas doesn't have a real relationship with his family

Claire 11:31 That seems like Uncle Castiels business

Dean 11:33 But Jimmy isn’t Cas’s only family SO if you ever need a place to crash, i’m always available

Claire 11:35 Maybe my dad was right And you’re secretly a perv I’m not staying with you you freak

Dean 11:35 Jesus christ, I’m trying to say, if ALEX isn’t the only girl on Edlund's softball team you’re getting buddy-buddy with, it’s fine You should get a chance to explore that part of being a teenager While STAYING SAFE But don’t let your parents stand in the way of that side of your life

Claire 11:41 Dad wouldn’t kick me out

Dean 11:42 Maybe not. But if you are at all uncomfortable, just give cas a call I’ll forward you his contact info now

 “I might have told Claire she’s always welcome at my place if she comes out to her parents,” Dean says as he pockets his phone. He turns his back on the pile of sparkling clean dishes drying on the rack by Cas's sink. Dean adds, “Hopefully she’ll ask you before she goes to me.”

They hadn't really discussed the disaster of a dinner with Jimmy and Claire. A few tense words on the drive back to Cas's house, a tacit acknowledgement in the morning not to mention it until after coffee and breakfast. But then Cas brought out his homework for the weekend, even while last night's argument scratches at the back of his mind like a fly trapped in a windowless room. So Dean did the dishes and texted Claire.

Cas looks up from his juniors’ final exams. “You were talking to Claire?”

“She texted me first,” Dean says defensively.

Cas sighs and caps his pen. It’s blue, because red pen, according to Cas, is too traumatizing a grading implement. “I’m very sorry about last night.”

Dean waves his apology off. “You warned me it could go sideways.”

Cas’s brow furrows. “Still,” he says slowly, “I told my mother and Jimmy I was gay a few years ago. I think it was easy for them to ignore it as long as I didn’t have a boyfriend in the picture.”

Dean fiddles with a dishrag as he hovers by the sink. “Was Jimmy a jackass to your other boyfriends?”

“What others?” Cas asks wryly. “None of them were ever serious enough to pique Jimmy’s interest.”

“Really?”

Cas nods and gestures for Dean to take a seat at the kitchen table next to him. He holds out his hand, which Dean takes, bemused. “I don’t know why Jimmy thought religion was an appropriate introductory dinner topic. I could tell he was trying to genuinely understand our… lifestyle, to use his word, but-”

“I got angry,” Dean says looking down at their clasped hands.

“You didn’t say anything I wasn't thinking,” Cas says simply. “I’m glad you reached out to Claire.”

“It seems like she needed it.”

“She doesn’t have a lot of adults in her life she can rely on to be in her corner,” Cas says diplomatically. “I’ve tried, over the years, but I can’t relate to her at all.”

Dean laughs. “Of course not. Teenage rebellion wasn’t really your style.”

“Ah yes, of course,” Cas says, his voice dry as chalk, “you’d be the perfect person to talk to her. The cool kids speak their own language. How could I forget?”

Dean smirks. “It’s full of references you don’t get.”

“Don’t remind me,” Cas says darkly.

Dean leans in for a kiss. Eyes dancing, as he whispers, “Relax, babe. You were always the coolest kid in school to me."

[grownups-are-the-real-monsters]

reddie 20

Your song is ‘You Gotta Be a Football Hero’ by Ben Bernie !!!

(Send me a Stephen King ship + a number & I will shuffle my music that many times and write you a little one-shot!!!)

Beverly Marsh found out about the empty backyard pool from a classmate named Deborah Hat. Her mother was a real estate agent and in the middle of trying to sell the property (which was not going well). So young Debbie used it as a quiet place to smoke with occasional partners.

Bev was invited when Deb found out the girl had an endless supply of cigarettes & was kind enough to share. Showing her gratitude, Deb welcomed the teen to use the pool as a hang-out place for herself & her weird friends.

Though no one blamed Deb for thinking weirdly of Richie considering the idiot used the same pickup line on her every-time they crossed paths. 'May I try this hat on for size?'

He didn’t even mean it. He just thought it was clever as hell.

: : : : : : : : : : :

Knowing where it all went wrong doesn’t mean a person posses the capability of fixing the situation. Hard to swallow pills didn’t come after a prescription, sometimes they just ended up in the usual round-table of Eddie’s medication. Usually after days of spiraling thoughts about his life.

He was sitting coldly on the last step of the ladder leading to the pool, legs dangling over the side. The Tozier boy was sitting, legs spread out, on the pool floor. His A&W Root-Beer shirt folded as he hunched over to get a sip of Stan’s soda.

“Y’know, you don’t need to wait thirty minutes after you eat to get in this pool.” Came Mike’s voice from above. With a crack of his neck, Eddie glance up to see his friend bent over the round handles.

Eddie grinned & hopped down to the ground so Mike could climb down. He clapped his back gently and made his way towards Bill & Bev who were digging into their cheeseburger meals. Richie had suggested they stop for a bag of fast-food before headin’ out.

“Need a lift, Ed’s?” Richie wiped grease down his jeans as he stood to make his way over.

“Please.” Eddie decided to let that nickname pass for now and instead he happily enjoyed Richie plucking him from the ground. He placed the smaller boy back on his spot on the ladder with a genuine grin.

His thin fingers snaked around the cool metal and suddenly those scary thoughts of the future were dismissed. Because it was always the age of cartoons & comic books when Eddie looked into Richie’s wonderfully crazy eyes.

“You still mad at me?” Richie tried to act casual but his voice cracked in the tiniest way which nearly broke Eddie’s heart.

His nose scrunched when he shook his head. “No. You were just trying to help me.” He reached out to push Richie’s glasses up for him. “Besides, my mom started it.” He tried to smile but found it hard when he remembered that day.

Because that was just Richie, he understood and planted a tiny kiss on Eddie’s cheek. “Would you tell me to go fuck myself if I gave ya something kinda sentimental?” Anxiety was clear in his tone.

Eddie shook his head, hair tickling under Rich’s chin. “Never.”

Richie grinned and shook something out of the pocket of his jacket. “I want you to wear this as a promise ring, ok?” He smirked, still hiding the actually prize in his palms. “Screw it, right? We don’t know our plans but we do know one thing & what’s that Ed’s?”

Eddie smirked, reluctant to do the little routine but amused all the same. “We go together.” He mumbled, half-embarrassed considering all the Losers were now looking at them.

He hummed happily. “No matter how scary our future may seem, we’ll be brave!” Richie fell victim to another character performance, Eddie watched happily. “I mean, are we men or are we mice?”

From behind him, their friends erupted “We’re mice!”

Richie’s eyes glowed as he watched Eddie chuckle as he joined them. Instead of saying more, he opened his hands and held out the present.

“Holy Shit!” Eddie hopped off the ladder with wide-admiring eyes laying upon the greatest little trinket he thought lost years ago. In the hill of Richie’s palm was a nostalgic little Captain Midnight™ Decoder Ring. “Dude, I thought I lost this like a million years ago.” He swiped it and slipped it on just as easily as he used to when he was eleven.

Those elated eyes of Richie continued to beam with admiration. “Yeah, I found it buried in my old sandbox.”

“Why were you digging in your sandbox?” Mike asked from behind them.

Richie took an amused expression. “My dad said he was excellent at finding lost shit so I buried his keys!” He laughed at the memory and looked back at Mike before turning softly. “So, you like it?”

Eddie grinned, holding his hand close to his chest. “I have such a crush on you, Dick.” He giggled at his useless words but there truly wasn’t a better way to describe it.

“Don’t embarrass yourself!” Richie whistled to distract from his blush.

                        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A paper boat did not float so easily on dampened brown mush but on this day the air was heavy with thick wind and the ground was seeping with foul rainwater. Nobody’s child would be out, in fear of catching their death from the wet air.

Inside the warm car, a cheap paper cup spilled droplets of Root-Beer piss down into Eddie’s cupholders. Not an easy place to clean. His eyes burned a little just from watching the liquid bounce & pour over as the car moved.

“I’ll be back in like...” Eddie spoke with exaggerated relaxation. “five minutes or so-”

He was abruptly cut off when Richie held up his hand. “Wait, we’re having a transcendent moment, Eds. Let it play out...” He leaned the front seat back and Eddie attempted to hush his snort.

Somewhere beyond Eddie’s car, a chain-link fence rattled and someone’s lost umbrella blew in the wind like a tumbleweed. “In the pharmacy parking lot?” He chuckled and flicked a quarter off his thumb & into the air.

Richie hummed.

“I want my ibuprofen, Dick.” Eddie shook his head and reached for the door handle again. “If were going to the homecoming game, I need to be prepared for the headache that always comes with it.”

Richie just smiled and leaned back in his chair, looking at his boyfriend. “You should be excited, Ed’s.” He finally turned the vehicle off, letting Eddie know he intended to join him inside even though the trip would only take a few minutes.

“All the football heroes putting on a great show for us losers in the bleachers. I can suck down a hot-dog with you sitting on my lap. My hands between your knees...” He reached over and took Eddie’s free hand.

Eddie rolled his eyes but felt reluctantly joyful. “Those are basically the lyrics to Jack & Diane...” He raised his brow.

“Well, we’re the gay Jack & Diane, remember?”

Eddie chuckled. “You’re the only one who calls us that.” He slid free from Richie’s grip. “Jack, he's gonna be a football star...” Eddie mocked a singing voice. “Doesn’t really sound like you does it?”

Richie huffed. “I’m Diane, asshole.”

Eddie giggled. “Of course, sorry.”

“And who says you gotta be a football hero to get along with a beautiful fella, anyway?” Richie whistled the tune of that old song. “The sentiment is what we are, Ed’s.”

“Highschool sweethearts?”

Richie shrugged. “To put it bluntly, yeah.” He took a long sip of his disgusting soda. “But we go on. Like the song itself, baby!” He smacked him lightly. “Annoying thousands with our staying power and radio-play.” He smiled.

“You’re ridiculous.”

Richie just hopped out of the car, again starting the whistle of ‘You gotta be a football hero’ as he walked....

[artificialqueens]

Blind (Rajila) - Imposterzoe

AN: Not that anyone cares but this is an homage to my first fic that I wrote one year ago today! Thanks to Mistress for beta-ing and hope you enjoy. IZ

Manila had been staring at Raja for a while. She knew she'd been staring at Raja for a while.

"Nila, you're staring." Latrice points out.

She replied immediately. "No I'm not."

Latrice rolled her eyes. "Girl, at least try to be discreet."

"I'm not doing anything!" She insists.

"Then look at me for more than ten seconds."

It takes a second for her to tear her gaze from across the room but once she does she promptly starts a countdown in her head.

"Happy now?" She teases, trying not to turn her head.

Latrice stares at her. "Good god get a grip girl! You're drooling!"

She wipes her mouth on instinct, accidentally smearing her lipstick all down her chin.

"Oh great!" She mutters, grabbing a makeup wipe.

Her intense stare is turned to the mirror as she dabs at the lipstick.

"Damn Heather!" That damned voice cries from behind her. "I forgot how good you looked with your lipstick smeared everywhere."

Desperately trying to keep all her blood above the waist, she simply raises her middle finger above her head.

Raja laughs as Manila sucks her teeth, resigning herself to just redoing her lipstick entirely.

She grabs a few more wipes, trying not to focus on the thin, tattooed arm that bobs in and out of her vision as Raja talks to Latrice.

"Wait Nila, you missed a spot."

Before she could think, the wipe is plucked from her hand and Raja grabs her face.

She wonders if Raja could hear the sharp breath that left her as she was faced with eyes that were the deepest brown she'd ever seen.

Raja carefully wipes under Manila’s bottom lip and the concentration on her face had Manila's full attention.

"God you're beautiful." She whispers without thinking. Raja's hand freezes and her heart drops.

"Thanks Heather." She mumbles, releasing Manila's face.

She blushes, thinking fast. "Thanks for what? I was talking to my reflection."

They both break into laughter, relieved to have broken the tension. However, once the laughter dies down, they're left staring at each other, something unspoken in the air.

"Hey Raja, come here a sec!" Raven calls, yanking them back to reality.

Raja starts to go but Manila grabs her hand. She turns, staring expectantly.

"Uh... Drinks after the show?" She squeaks, her voice fully crapping out on her.

"Yeah." Raja responds enthusiastically. "Wanna just come back to mine?"

She smiles. "Yeah that sounds great."

"Raj!" Raven shouts.

"I'm comin'! Damn!" She calls back. She turns back to Manila, swiping her thumb under her lip.

Her eyes dip down and for a second Manila thinks she sees them darken.

"I'd hurry and re-apply that." She mumbles.

It occurs to Manila that she never released Raja's hand. It also occurs to her that she doesn't want to.

It's a physical strain to slack her fingers and her hand feels empty as Raja shoots across the room.

She turns back around to find Latrice has been watching her.

"What?" She snaps, digging her lipstick from her makeup bag.

Latrice rose and leaned into her ear. "Y'know, since you're redoing stuff I'd give that tuck some attention." Then she's gone.

Manila looks down and flushes as she sees her extremely obvious boner through her dress. How did she not feel her tuck pop? Did Raja see that?

She groans, laying her head on the table. "Of course she saw that. And not only do I have to reapply my lipstick, I have to rub one out in the bathroom and re-tuck. All in the next…" she checks her phone. "20 minutes."

A tired sigh escapes her as she raises her head. She swipes her lipstick on and definitely doesn't stare at Raja through the mirror. She just doesn't.

~~~~~~~~~~

Raja watches Manila scurry off into the bathroom and tries to ignore the urge to follow her.

"Raja!" Raven yells half an inch from her face.

She flinches before pushing Raven's face away. "What?!" She yells back.

Raven rolls her eyes. "God, you and Manila are gonna go blind, staring at each other the way you do."

"We don't stare." She responds, absently mussing her hair in the mirror.

"Liar. You guys have heart eyes everytime I turn around."

She rolls her eyes. "I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about."

"Mhmm sure. Just make sure you blink every now and again."

"Shut up."

She sees Manila emerge from the bathroom in the reflection, looking slightly frazzled. Turning in her chair, Raja watches her friend walk shakily back to her station.

Concern edges into her features and she wonders if she should go over there.

"Blink!" Raven hisses in her ear and she jumps so violently, she almost falls from her chair.

By the time anyone turns to look, all they see is a pissed Raja drilling punches into Raven's shoulder as she laughs hysterically.

And Raja doesn't blush when she sees Manila smiling at her. She just doesn't.

[...]

The show goes well. Or as well as it can with Raven whispering, "Blink," in Raja’s ear every now and then.

It would annoy her more if it wasn't whispered every time her eyes hadn't shut in 30 seconds.

She slid over to Manila, murmuring in her ear, "Drinks at mine, right?"

She jumps at first, but smiles warmly. "Yeah. You can go ahead though. I'm gonna de-drag and hit my hotel room first."

"Cool, can't wait."

And butterflies don't swarm in their stomachs as they part. They just don't.

~~~~~~~~~~

Karl lightly knocked on the door, ignoring the pounding of his heart.

The door flew open and he almost dropped the wine in his hands. Between the very low cut tank top and shorts Sutan wore, the amount of exposed skin was making Karl's mouth water.

"Jeez Heather, just kill me why don't ya." He jokes weakly.

"Ha ha." Sutan responds dryly, grabbing his free hand and pulling him into the house, slamming the door shut.

There's a beat of silence as they stare at each other, hands still linked.

"So…" Karl starts.

"So…" Sutan echoes.

"So… wine?" Karl hefts the bottle.

"Yup!" Sutan releases his hand and walks toward the kitchen.

He trails behind, plunking the bottle on the table while Sutan grabs glasses and a bottle opener.

"So why were you trying to kill Raven earlier?" Karl asks, attempting to break the tension.

Sutan snorts. "Because he thinks he's funny." He turns, placing a glass in front of each of them.

Opening the bottle, he asks a question of his own. "What happened in the bathroom? You looked like you lost a fight with the hand dryer."

Karl flushes crimson. "First off, the hand dryer fights dirty, so fuck you."

They both laugh as Sutan fills the glasses. He raises his in a toast. "Well then to lost dryer fights."

Karl taps their glasses. "To you going to fuck yourself."

"Fuck me yourself coward!" Sutan responds, sipping his wine.

"You're acting like I wouldn't." Karl mumbles into his glass, draining a fourth of it in one gulp.

"What?"

"What?"

They exchange blank stares before Sutan shakes his head.

"You know what Raven said?"

"No I don't, Raja. Enlighten me to the wisdom of Raven." He picks up on the slightest hint of jealousy in his tone. He's confused by it.

Because he wasn't jealous. He had no reason to be. He didn't. Right?

Sutan swallows hard. Did his dick twitch ever so slightly in his shorts at Karl's tone? No, no of course not. Who finds jealousy sexy anyway?

I do. He thinks to himself.

"Uh… anyway. He, uh, he said that we're gonna go blind from staring at each other." God it sounded stupid out loud.

"We don't stare." Karl murmurs.

"Yeah I know. But he said we always have heart eyes when we're together."

"Can we stop talking about Raven?" He snaps, draining his glass.

Sutan tops him off, biting his lip. "Do you think we're blind, Karl?"

He sighs, swirling his glass. "Well I don't know about you, Grandma but last I checked I can see perfectly fine."

"That's not what I meant."

"I know what you meant but I think I'd know if I was in love with my best friend."

They both freeze, tension filling the room. Sutan takes a huge gulp of wine, eyes on the floor.

"Yeah uh, that wasn't exactly my point either." He murmurs, clearing his throat.

"Plus," he adds with a wry smile, "We both know you're absolutely obsessed with the beauty that is me." He strikes a pose.

You have no idea. Karl thinks as he chuckles. "Oh please. We both know you're the obsessed one."

"Why you so obsessed with me?" They both shout at once, promptly falling into hysterics.

They talk about nothing for a bit, polishing off the bottle and opening another. Before long they were well into the land of tipsy.

"Hey at least my tuck didn't pop!" Sutan cackled, in response to a quip he didn't really remember.

Karl banged his glass to the table. "I knew you saw that! Why didn't you tell me?" He demands.

"Why did it pop in the first place?" Sutan counters. "All I was doing was wiping off your lipstick!"

"Well if you weren't looking at me with bedroom eyes while you were doing it, maybe it wouldn't have popped!"

He snorts. "If I was looking at you with bedroom eyes, believe me you'd know." He smirks into his glass. "I mean, unless you're as blind as Raven says."

"Oh please." Karl rolls his eyes. "How would that even work? We're both tops."

"You'd bottom for me and we both know it." Sutan replies smugly.

"Oh would I?" He challenges.

There was a glint in Sutan's eye and he leaned across the table. "Most definitely."

Karl sighed, leaning in as well. "You know what I hate?"

He blushes as Sutan's breath hits his lips. "What's that?"

"I hate that you're goddamn right." Then he grabs Sutan's face and presses their lips together.

But the wine screws with his orientation and he hits Sutan's cheek more than his lips.

Sutan pulls back, hand going to Karl's neck.

"What're ya blind?" He growls before kissing Karl's lips forcefully. He quickly presses his tongue into Karl's mouth, tasting the wine at the back of his throat.

Karl's hands move down to his shoulders as he kisses back. He knows he isn't thinking straight but he couldn't care if he tried.

Sutan leans in further, grabbing him by the waist and walking him around the table.

He follows quickly, clambering into Sutan's lap. He whimpers as he feels Sutan's barely clothed erection against his own and Sutan smirks.

Not to be outdone, Karl grinds lightly a smirk of his own forming as Sutan moans into his mouth.

Sutan's mouth moves down to his neck and sucks hard. Suddenly he snaps back to reality.

"Oh fuck. Sutan wait, stop." He presses Sutan's shoulders as his neck is released.

"What? What?" Sutan mumbles, his eyes dark and his lips swollen. Karl stares.

"God you're beautiful." He whispers, one hand going up to caress the man's cheek.

"Thank you but why'd you wanna stop? What's up?" There's concern on his face and his hands move down to rub Karl's back.

"Huh? Oh nothing." He responds lightly.

The concern turns to confusion which turns to irritation. "Then why did you stop me?"

Karl smirks. "What're ya blind? No way in hell you're fucking me on this table."

[eternalstann]

Hey I just saw that's your anniversary on 5 days so happy birthday to you little thing! What your age will you be ? 😁 Plus for the prompt idea: what if Tom, your boyfriend, find a very old blog were u posted fanfic and all. But the imagines in there are steamy stuff about sebastian stan or Steve roger with rough sex and things like that. How do you think he will react ? Will he be jealous? Will he be angry even though it was a long ago ? Sorry for my bad English I'm French hehe ! Thanks u !

aww thank you my love! And I’m going to be 20❤️ I’m gonna write this like a continuation to the last oneeee, I love this idea xx

part 1

Tom would be super curious now to what else you did that he didn’t know about. He picked your phone up of the ground and navigated his way to your tumblr profile. You had fallen asleep on the couch, worn out from your orgasm. He scrolled and scrolled, everything recent was mostly just reblogs of things about him & the mcu. The occasional original post of yours and he had to give you props, they were pretty funny. He was really enjoying himself, he felt like he was discovering a new side of you.

Then he saw something you posted about a called a master list? What the hell was that. He clicked on the link and saw that it was a list of a bunch of other links and they were separated into categories. Sebastian Stan, Bucky Barnes, Thor, Steve Rogers, even Natasha Romanoff. But nothing about him. He decided to check out the Sebastian Stan one. He didn’t know what he expected. Maybe a collection of his movies, some pictures but definitely not this.

“Sebastians godlike shirtless frame stood above you, you’d never seen a more beautiful man” he scrolled down further - “his hard cock rammed into your soaking core, fucking you like no one else could” Tom was pissed. When had you written this? He’d known Sebastian Stan was your favorite actor but he couldn’t believe it. He didn’t know why he was so worked up, but he felt really hurt. Betrayed almost, and they were just words. He looked down at you sleeping, you were so gorgeous, the thought of you with someone else killed him inside. He looked through more- he even counted, you had written a whopping 27 pieces on Sebastian Stan. Not all of them were dirty, but if he was honest, the lovey dovey ones bothered him more.

He knew he shouldn’t, but his emotions got the best of him. He reached down and shook you awake. “What’s wrong baby?” You ask sweetly. Normally you’d be angry at him for waking you but after how good he’d finger fucked you earlier you couldn’t even be mad. “Do you want to fuck Sebastian Stan?” He asked and your eyes got wide. “Tom what the hell, no!” You exclaim, sitting up. “Then what is this?” He asks, showing you your phone. Your eyes skim over the screen and you realize it’s one of your old smut posts. “Tom that was from like 3 years ago- look at the authors note at the bottom, ‘I’m so excited for civil war’ you fucking dickhead” You shout at him, standing up and walking away. He feels beyond foolish now- he knows he fucked up.

“Baby, I’m so sorry” he whispered grabbing your arm but you shook out of his grip. “Don’t baby me” you answer sourly. You go to the kitchen and grab wine cooler, you need a drink to calm yourself down before you snap on him. “Y/N baby I know you don’t want to fuck him- I Just - I was so overwhelmed when I saw it, and you always talk about how he’s your favorite actor, I was just jealous and I’m sorry. I love you so so much-” you got tired of his rambling. “Shut up Tom, it’s okay. But it really hurt my feelings that you asked me that. You’re the only man for me” you tell him and Tom feels his heart swell. How did he get so lucky?

“I love you too. But who’s better baby, me or Sebastian?” He asks, lifting you up and sitting you on the kitchen counter. “What?” You ask, not sure what to say. He pulls off your clothing until you’re naked. He crouches down so he’s level with your pussy, “who’s better?” He asks again; this time he kisses the insides of your thighs. “You are Tom, always you” you coo, looking down at him. You feel yourself getting wetter with each second. How could he make you so angry and then so horny in a matter of minutes? “Good” he replies before placing his mouth on your core. Your head falls back and you moan as he tastes your juices.

He gives new meaning to the term, “eating out” . You were sure it was impossible for him to be making you feel so good. His tongue touched every corner of you before he began focusing on your clit. “Tom!” You nearly scream his name while he works. You can feel yourself getting close and you can barely breathe. Your legs begin to close around his head and he pushes them back open. “You gonna cum on my face?” He asks, looking up at you and you nod. Your hands grip his shoulders, holding on tight because you felt like you were gonna fall off the face of the earth. He licks long strips up your pussy, applying pressure on your bundle of nerves and you’re unraveling. You dig your nails into his skin as you cum.

You barely have a chance to process your orgasm before Tom pulls you down and flips you so your bent over the counter. “oh fuck!” You cry out when he shoves his dick into you. “You’re fucking soaked” Tom whispers, wrapping your hair into a ponytail around his fist and tugging you back onto his cock. You’re on your tip toes, head tilted back as far as it can go. Your eyes roll back when he pulls out and pushes back into you. “Tom, oh my god, tom” moans tumble from your lips as he fucks you. He’s rough, your hips bumping the edge of the counter which each thrust but you don’t care. “You’re taking my dick so good baby” he mutters, using his free hand to smack your ass.

You push back against him, meeting him thrust for thrust and all that can be heard in the kitchen is the obscene sound of him entering you and both of your moans. “Tom, please don’t stop, I’m gonna fucking cum!” You tell him and he goes even harder. “Cum for me babygirl!” He commands and you obey. Youre orgasm is more intense than the first, and second one. “Tom!” You chant his name over and over as he chases his own release. He grunts as when finally does, cumming inside of you.

“Fuck, lets just get married now” Tom jokes, pulling you into his embrace. “Gotta lock you down before Sebastian finds your little stories and wants to try the real thing” he kisses your forehead and you roll your eyes. “Shut up you goof”

[lifes-a-simple-plan]

Anyone else remember that one time....

...I wrote an essay about a Japanese drama on Netflix called Switched?

Yeah, me too. In case you don’t, here’s the link to it - if you were curious. Or if you were insane enough to dive into a 20 minute read about a television show wherein I just talk about everything I loved about it. Either way, it’s at your convenience now:

https://lifes-a-simple-plan.tumblr.com/post/177182071148/this-is-gonna-be-one-of-my-longest-posts-ever

Roughly, it has been one year since I first watched the show and I thought it would be fun to revisit my old post and re-watch Switched (yet again; because I genuinely do have a problem)

This time around, I learned how to make a fucking “keep reading” link, so everyone who wants to can pass on by without spraining their scrolling-hand. But for anyone who just feels like they want to spare the time - thank you!

Now that that’s done, I guess I’ll just get started! Last time, I spoke of what I felt the show did right, my favorite moments and quotes, character analysis, shipping, my thoughts on the ending and what I wished had been in the show.

Really, not much has changed about my opinions regarding those subjects. If anything, I feel them stronger. How Kaga is the light in this world, Ayumi is just the most pure bean, Kaga is the only one on earth to deserve true happiness, Umine needs a therapist, Kaga is my One True Love, Koshiro should really express himself better, and did I mention that Kaga is the absolute best?

I do think I’ve discovered some things deeper than I had in the multiple times I’ve watched it in the past year (I’m at 15 now y’all, and it is not looking like I’m going to stop any time soon (I’m literally fucking watching it right now)). So I would like to touch on that.

Things I hadn’t noticed before

Another working title for this section is “things I thought I saw but are definitely canon for me now”

- In the second episode, in the scene where Umine is walking with Koshiro telling him not to talk to other girls and then Ayumi is like, “let’s talk, yo.” This felt like the biggest discovery since ever for me. It dawned on me that it is the first time Koshiro and Ayumi, in Umine’s body, are facing each other - KNOWING the entirety of the situation. This is the first time he has to conceal his true feelings from her. When I watch it now, I get a little glimpse (or think I see a glimpse) of the moment Koshiro shoves it all away. His expression turns completely blank and he just starts playing her right then and there. She has priorities, and therefore didn’t even look at him, but he shut it down at that moment I believe.

- Koshiro didn’t take Umine very seriously until their walk in the blue lights. I think he didn’t want to think of her as a real threat, or as someone who was in as much pain as she was. But when she openly admitted to wanting to commit suicide is when he started thinking of her in a new light. He started asking questions. He started to see her as a real person who needed help. I really love that she was finally able to open up to someone. This scene also gave us an idea about who Umine is as a person, when no one is teasing her, when she doesn’t have to worry about her mom, or think about her dad. I said it last time, that this was probably the best day of her life, and I feel like it’s the first time in a LONG time that she could let go of her worries. That’s the part of her that reached out to the good parts of the other characters and earned their ability to forgive her.

- When we get to the scene in episode 3 where Kaga is overheard confessing his feelings about ‘Umine’ to Maria and Ritsu, I think Kaga fully realizes that his classmates were all dicks. And I think we see here within that realization that Kaga might’ve been a dick too. Not as much as the rest of the guys, who are all making the actual jokes about Umine and the idea that she could be liked by someone like Kaga. But most definitely in the way where he just goes along with the jokes. Accomplices are still guilty, after all. I feel like this might have been his flaw. A good friend of mine and I had a wonderful conversation not long after I posted my first review. It was about how she wished we could have found something wrong with Kaga so that he might actually seem human, and not like the perfect Godsend he really is. Well, with a year passing of considering this convo, I feel like this is it. The thing that makes him human. We know without a shadow of a doubt that Kaga stands up for the people he cares about - seeing as he does it for Ayumi right there in the scene I’m talking about. But I think before he was directly involved with the person being teased, he laughed with the rest of them no matter what the situation was rather than stand up for them. This really is just a guess from me, but it feels like canon simply because of the hesitation before he tells the class how cute ‘Umine’ is now. Almost like the look on his face was saying, “This was me at one time.” I hate to think it, but it feels right to me.

- Ukon and Amagase scenes were utterly of no importance. They literally get less and less significant every time I watch this damn show. Like, I understand that they are there for informative reasons, but if Kaga had been just a little bit better with the Google search he did early in episode 3, he could’ve found that research paper Koshiro was annotating in his room in the dead of night. And that could have been his source of information about how body switching happens, and how Ayumi can never go back to her body. Ukon could still have had her name on the paper, and been part of the show that way. Really, her scenes just took up time that could’ve been saved for MORE KAGA. If only Ukon and Amagase had been more like their characters in the manga. I know that that would have significantly altered the drama aspect of the show, but it would have been better than what we got.

- I think Koshiro wanted to get punched by Kaga. Just a little bit. He felt he deserved it. And in my opinion, he definitely deserved it.

- Ayumi was never going to meet Kaga’s feelings halfway. Had things gone differently that day (ie. meeting Kaga instead of Koshiro), she might have started dating him. But it would have been because she didn’t want Kaga - her biggest supporter - to be sad or disappointed. SHE. REALLY. COULD. HAVE. LOVED. HIM. but she never gave herself the opportunity. Kaga was going to fall more completely for her, but she would’ve only broken his heart later because she doesn’t really love him. (*Edit: this was made right after a food binge in that halfway-sleepy/full mood and the weight of this truth was overwhelming at the time).

- Umine’s mom definitely blames herself for the dad leaving. Maybe that’s obvious to some people, but it took me a few times to really get that feeling from her. I believe that she believes he would have stayed if she’d been more beautiful. Which, honey, it’s really not your fault. He left for reasons that were unexplained (but I am making a fanfiction that will cover that more, if anyone’s interested in that). I just wish that she didn’t have to take out her insecurities on Umine.

- Koshiro’s kind of a dumbass for telling Umine he never actually loved her on the roof. ALL SHOW LONG  she’s been telling you she’s suicidal. She jumped once, she’ll do it again. Really just a huge lack of foresight there.

- In Kaga’s memory montage, he is most definitely feeling the pain of having to give up Ayumi. Those were probably the best times of his relationship with her. Not having to share her with anyone, not having the attention he was getting diverted by her feelings for Koshiro. I know Koshiro was being an ass when he said that the switch benefited Kaga the most, but he was right about it. And, OW, my heart.

Feelings towards the characters - one year later

Koshiro:

Koshiro, Koshiro, Koshiro...How do I feel about him? Even though I KNOW he’s good, I can’t freaking help but hate him for most of the show. It’s as intended by the creators of this magnificent piece of art, but I just can’t really stand the guy sometimes. This man is practiced at lies. I’m going to pretend that he’s in drama classes, on top of everything else he does. Koshiro is already good at every damn thing he does (much like Tomohiro Kamiyama - fucking ridiculous how talented he is). Truly, I don’t hate him. I just can’t help but think that his “ends justify the means” personality is wrong on so many levels. And I feel like his actions shouldn’t have earned him Ayumi’s love more than Kaga’s should have.The more I watch it, the more I think that he really didn’t deserve Ayumi in the end. And while I KNOW she already loved Koshiro, I’M. STILL. NOT. OVER. IT. Clearly I still have some feelings about this. Maybe I’ll add in a paragraph specifically about this.

Umine:

I kinda like her more than I did a year ago. And, honestly, I liked her a lot back then. I’m not denying that she made a whole hell of a lot of mistakes. Switching bodies and threatening people is not how one usually makes friends. But it was interpreted as a cry for help that went on to entirely change her life for the better. I’m just so happy that her actions led her to Ayumi, Koshiro and Kaga. Because literally anyone else would have been too pissed to reconcile once everything was said and done. I’ve had this idea in my head that maybe she was jealous of Ayumi for more than her looks, or her boyfriend. I think the biggest underlying reason that Umine chose Ayumi was her ability to be open to people. Making friends is really hard for her, and they just seem to flock to Ayumi without her even trying. I can truly understand why she dislikes Ayumi, even if I can’t agree with it.

Ayumi:

I really adore her character so so so freaking much. I know I talk a lot about how she didn’t make choices that I would make *cough cough KAGA* but I can’t fault her for making them either. She just always chooses kindness. She always chooses compassion for others. This girl is like, 16, I don’t know how she can be so forgiving. I genuinely admire that in her. I am far too petty, so I really think she is a hero in her own right.

Kaga:

I. cannot. stress. enough. how. much. i. love. this. character. Kaga is the kind of man other men should watch to figure out how they should act. I swear to god. I love him more than I did a year ago. AND I LOVED HIM SO MUCH. His chivalry, his ability to put others before himself, his never ending optimism, how he can see what people need, how he acts on his emotions, HIS FUCKING SMILE. He is altogether otherworldly. Kaga is the sun, and we’re all just the planets revolving around him (I have dibs on Mercury; y’all can get in line). I wouldn’t change a damn thing about him. He is so so so valued and appreciated. My god.

While I still have you (if I still have you), I’m just gonna circle back to that bit about Koshiro not really deserving Ayumi in the end. I got all kinds of worked up earlier (as per usual), so I think it should be addressed. So why? Why do I feel like this? A year ago, I was perfectly satisfied with the ending. But now I’m just not so sure. Koshiro lied. A lot. And I know WHY he did it. And I know that he apologized. And I know that he didn’t WANT to do it. But he did. And while he expressed genuine guilt, I can’t help but be uneasy. I think it’s because of Ayumi. Not once did she have a face-to-face conversation with him about how messed up he was acting. Not just as his girlfriend, but as his friend. They were CHILDHOOD FRIENDS and she just sort of....let him treat her like that. I also understand that Ayumi had a whole bunch of stuff going on in her life. Switching bodies could not have been low on her list of priorities. But I really just need to see a time when she looks him dead in the face and asks him why. Why he said he only cared about her face. How he could stand there next to someone who ripped the two of them apart. How he could care less about the way she was feeling. Even if he only lied again, I wanted her to stand up for herself. Just a little bit. I can think of several occasions where she had the opportunity. And maybe she just didn’t want to hear the answer, or really believed in him because she knew him that well. I don’t know. I’m just upset that she didn’t blow up on him a little bit (also, just imagine that Kamichan has to be stoic and passionate in that scene and you’ll wish you could watch it too). Honestly, I still would have gone after him even learning the truth behind his actions. He hurt her feelings, and he should be told that (I know he knows that already, I’m just saying that more words could have been said). So, the point: The ending. I think Koshiro could earn her (in my eyes) if we saw something more than a montage of Koshiro-behind-the-scenes that expressed his guilt.

And truthfully, I am still ok with the fact that Ayumi didn’t choose Kaga. She really just wasn’t in love with him. She loved him. But platonic love does not a relationship make. I desperately wish that Ayumi’s heart could have changed, but it was enough for me that she was willing to give up on Koshiro just to spare Kaga’s feelings. I’ll keep telling myself that until someone loves him back.

Changes this show has made in my life

That sounds really fucking corny, but I’m not kidding you when I say that after watching this show my life was altered. It was the very first Asian drama I watched, and honestly it was a very good thing that I waited until I was older to start on this journey. My personality is kind of obsessive when it comes to bands or television shows, and I was WORSE in my teenage years. I’ll just keep reiterating that hey, at least it’s not drugs. Since my first dive into Switched, I have:

- Started painting again. I used to love art and making drawings. I don’t really remember why or when I stopped doing it, but it was almost a constant. Art supplies for birthdays and Christmas presents, my room covered with all of my artwork, handmade birthdays cards given out to EVERYONE. I knew I was never very good, but I loved doing it. And Switched gave that back to me.

- Started learning Japanese. You see guys, you give me an Asian show and I just drop everything to learn a new language. Why am I like this? Oh right, I’m obsessive and need to better understand things that I love so that I can love it harder. Ugh. I hate how much effort I put into things. But really, I can’t help but put in the effort. I bought books and practice daily. I write diary entries in Japanese in a notebook. I highlight. I have apps that I use on the go. During lulls at work, I practice writing the hiragana. I repeat phrases in my head ALL. DAY. EVERY. DAY. because they get stuck in my brain like a loop. I make my friends make quizzes for me. i pester the internet people with questions about certain words. I have a problem. But I do it because one day I could watch the show without subtitles. Or hear a Johnny’s West song and know what it’s about without asking for a translation.

- Made an internet friend! I was always taught that the internet is a really scary place where no one should be trusted. And I still feel that way. NEVER GIVE OUT PERSONAL INFORMATION ON THE INTERNET (had to get my PSA out of the way). But my experience with my internet friend has been so so different from many other experiences. She first reached out to me after she read my review about Switched a year ago. Her sister had found it and told her about it. When she read it, she told me that it was nice to find someone who loved the show with the amount of passion I expressed. She also offered me a genuine gift: Johnny’s West. It was maybe a couple days after I had posted the review when she reached out, and at that point I had given up on the band. I wanted to know them, because Shige and Kamichan were my babies from Switched, and I’d seen all seven of them in Blazing Transfer Students (sidenote: if you want to laugh until you cry or pee yourself, watch that show- it’s a hot mess of hilarity). But it is damn near impossible to find their music anywhere. That makes sense, because it’s America, and they don’t have the access to Japanese music the way that Japan does. But I couldn’t find music videos, or songs ANYWHERE. Youtube has some clips of live performances, but live performances are not for Abby’s unless the music has already been listened to. I had been doing the deep internet searches for a little over a week and come up empty-handed. And I wasn’t about to drop over $50 to ship an album from Japan to me without having heard them first to know if I actually liked their music. So my internet friend sent me the entire discography. My mind was blown. Music is no joke to me - it is and always has been the source of my happiness. To just share it like that for nothing in return was a fantastic gift. And she didn’t just stop there. I wanted more (to fuel my obsession, of course), and she delivered. Music videos, behind the scenes of music videos, television shows they’ve appeared in, concert dvds, interviews, skits, radio shows, news, pictures, blog entries, EVERYTHING. She was like an angel from above. But beyond what she’s given me in Johnny’s West, she’s just an amazing person. She is kind and generous, and funny. We can talk about anything from work to periods to bands to religion. I really never thought someone from the internet could be such an important person in my life, but I love her as much as any of my friends that live close to me. If you read this, let me tell you how much I love you for the millionth time!

- Started listening to Johnny’s West. Maybe that doesn’t seem like such a big deal. People find bands from TV shows all the time. But I always HATED music that was in other languages. In my head, if I couldn’t understand what they were saying and tried to sing along I might say something offensive or vulgar without knowing it. And even though I sing that kind of stuff in English, doing it in a language where you don’t know you’re doing it feels wrong to me. I still feel that way a little bit, but it helps that I’m learning Japanese. Johnny’s West also makes all the difference though. My love for these 7 boys is unreal. Akin to how I feel about Kaga, and if you’ve come down to this part of the post or have read my other review, you KNOW how I feel about Kaga. They make me feel so good about myself. I don’t even know how they do it. They say or do things that fill me up with such a warmth - it makes me feel like I can accomplish things, because I have their strength with me. I go without listening to them for a time, and my body just kind of aches to have them back. I had a similar feeling with One Direction back in my teens, but the extent is VASTLY different. In this past year, I’ve probably gone only a handful of days without listening to them. For me to choose one band, every day, for an entire year is very very very not like me. I have more than 200 CD’s that I consider my children; that I protect more sacredly than anything else I own. But now I only choose any of those other bands when I’m on a road trip, or feeling a random day where I need them. I can’t seem to burn out on Johnny’s West, but all of my friends who ride with me are. I don’t even have a favorite member. Each and every one of these 7 men are so worthy of being a favorite that I have to love them all equally. Which should say something to you, because Shige played KAGA - one of the greatest fictional characters to ever exist! If he isn’t my favorite, that should tell you how wonderful the others are. I just can’t really fathom my life without them now. I hope and wish for all great things for them for the rest of their lives. Putting that into the internet will make it come true, won’t it?

That’s really all I have to say. Wow, it was shorter than last time, but it took so much longer to write. This show has made an impact on me that changed a lot about how I view the world. I just really really loved it. With my whole being, I adored it. Thank you to anyone who decided to read this much for something that really isn’t important in the grand scheme of things. I wrote it for me, but I appreciate anyone who enjoyed my words enough to waste their time on them. I hope you all have wonderful days!

ありがとうございます !!!!!!!

[aggresivelyfriendly]

Hi babes! Um- so, when I don’t write smut for a long time- I get pent. Here is the fruit of that, I suppose! Long live tripod writing- @dirtystyles gave me all caps, and @bleedinglove4h is a citrus fruit! Woohooo!!

Big, fat thanks to @emulateharry for the read through!

As ever/ thanks for reading- reblogs are love and anons are 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

Chapter 10- Onsen

"Fuck, Harry!" Ada was barely through the door when he caught her up. He hoisted her like she weighed nothing and it was more than enough to get her hot. Hotter. His hand, thumb hooked through her belt loop and huge palm all over her lower body, coupled with his voice in her ear had been kindling on the embers of last night. She was sure 10 minutes ago that her long, long day had snuffed out those coals. Ada had been so frustrated about her lack of sleeping quarters ten minutes ago, she hadn't thought about the upside.

Harry.

And he was up. And hard. All up against her back for the quick walk to the cabin. The onsen had been pretty quiet, she'd only seen a member of the staff and none of her own crew. That was a godsend. One look at her and Harry, him hustling her like a track coach to a nearing finish line, physically prodding her along with a proprietary arm around her body, and there was no denying what was up. What they were to each other. Lovers, they were gonna be lovers. Who knew if they were in love. Ada wasn't sure she ever had been, that may have to be their pillow talk tonight. A shared things, that uncertainty. All she knew was that she really liked him, and the way he smiled and looked and smelled and tasted. The way she thought about him all the time. That their backgrounds were just similar enough that she didn't have to explain everything to him. He got part of it, that single mom/child dynamic with the estranged dad that you wanted to hate but still wanted approval from.

Ada had been a people pleaser once upon a time, was, right here. Couldn't wait to please him, her wrapped around his waist and shoulder with her mouth full off his ears and neck and her hand full of his tresses. "Your hair is so silky!"

"So is your skin, Smoky. God! I've wanted you so bad. Do you want me too? Have you waited for me?" He stopped his progress and she huffed at his slow down.

How much clearer could her desire be. Words, maybe he needed words.

"I want you, Harry. I have. Can't you feel that?" She ground against him as best she could from her perch on his lithe hips. He smirked smugly. He was on her collarbone instantly, for once she was over the moon it was so prominent, it was like a map of her erogenous zones.  Pointing down like a beam of light onto pleasure.

"Seven." She murmured to herself, and his head came up from where it had drifted to the cleavage he'd had scent of before and not forgotten.

"That's surely not seven?"

"That a question?" came out, deep and sultry. "Smoky?"

"Yeah," he breathed. "You're like a banked fire, throwing off steam, when you're mad, or frustrated or..." he leaned in and licked her lip, tilted sideways and took her mouth. She was blazing, fire had caught.

"Alright. I'll have to come up with something better than Styles." Had she evaded her own silly 'Friends' reference?

  "Nope," she didn't say that out loud, right? "Not so fast. I would guess this is three, maybe four, if you prefer it to the neck." He went in then and she loved the pointed teeth for just a minute, right on her jugular.

"Three." She conceded.

"Ahh!" He laid back on the bed and put his palms up for her to use. "Give me a map."

She didn't want to do that. She wanted him to figure it out. She didn't sulk, at least it wasn't a proper full body one. However, she must have been obvious, because he seemed to follow along, catch a ride on her train of thought.

"I don't mind finding all your spots, the ones that send you to a pillow, make you bite down. But I can have you coming in minutes if you tell me where 5, 6, and 7 are." He tweaked her pointed peak. She yelped. "4 or 3."

"5!"

"Oooh! Fun, I'll find 8 on my own." But Ada sat up and rocked her center over his proud agreement while he ran his hands over her body. She kissed his palm and let gravity carry his fingers down to her lips which she pouted then licked out to catch the tips. "Two."

"Two?" Ahh? He'd forgotten the most important spot besides six. She realized. She liked this side of him. Sexy, and much more secure than he'd shown himself to be so far. But wanting guidance, valuing her input. Who knew her body better than her? Nobody. Not yet.

She curled her head down until he cradled her face, his fingers now at her temple. She tapped his painted nails. "One."

His face dawned with understanding. "Yeah, that's definitely one." He looked pleased with her assertion, himself, all of it, "have I been working on that one for a while?"

"Probably since before you knew it." He was tracing her lips and she was undoing his bowling shirt.

"I am very sexy." He smirked while he untied her sweater and pulled it off her arms.

"Oh, yes the Bambi legs and puke, very hot."

"And yet." His fingers stroked softly the sides of her neck. "3?" Then over her shoulders and down.

Ada nodded. She knew her eyes closed, hard on sensation. Her hips were going fast.

"You may wanna slow down with seven. Remember I have fewer zones, so they are more sensitive." He cautioned, all teasing brow and red pink lips.

"That's more six. And you really think that you have more sensation. Number six there has more nerves than any of your parts." Mmmmmm, she moaned when he held her fast to circle their hips a minute.

"I've heard that. We will have to have a sensation test." He got her bra over her head and gave her tit a squeeze. "Show me the rest." Ada was smiling and just moving Harry's hands from four down to five when the knock sounded.

"Harry?" Fuck Ayae. "You make it? Everybody is going in the water. Have you seen Ada? Nobody can find her."

"Yeah, I've definitely seen Ada," Harry raised his eyebrows at her and her nipples.

She narrowed her eyes at him and gave his nipple, the one she thought of as number 2, a rough twist in response.

"Ouch." He whispered but looked, well, hot for it. Then he sat up and hooked his chin over her shoulder in a sort of coitus interruptus hug, and called. "I'm here. Just getting undressed to come out. I saw Ada." He turned his head and licked 3. "She's here." He made a goofy face. "I'll text her, she seemed tired though."

He whispered in her ear and she thought she had to redefine her zones, maybe there were nine. "You feel up to seeing everybody. Or do you want me to go throw off suspicion?"

She laid her head on his shoulder and they looked across her collarbone at each other.

Ada was tired, and the tightness between her thighs was so thick it was bothersome. Yet, The idea of him going without her, of her missing out on seeing him across from her with steam rising from blue grey water and sending his curls into a tizzy above his slick shoulders, no nap was worth that.

She'd sleep when she was dead, or after they had finished what they started here.

Ada shook her head and kissed his collarbone sweetly, added a nibble. "No, I'll come."

"You most certainly will. Hopefully because of me, sooner rather than later." She shook her head at him but accepted the kiss he offered, sighed into it. "Speaking of coming." He made a ridiculous face, "I'm going to make a stop in our bathroom before we head out there."

"That's a good idea, I'll have to make my own stop and meet you out there—"

"Um, no." He was shaking his head and standing with her still in his arms. "I'd like you to sit on that orange." Ada yelped when he cupped her over the swelling. "It'll be very juicy when I get to it later."

"Ahh!!" Ada wanted to be pissed, protested, "that's completely unfair." But, damn, she liked that he gave an order.

"You don't have to, only if you want to." He placed her on her feet. His breath curled around her ear. "But I know you want to."

That was sexy enough, but the nonchalance, self assurance he went to the bathroom with. Damn, she liked to give Harry solid feedback. Confidence looked really good on him. Ada sat down. She needed a breath, a drink, and his dick. Sitting wasn't enough. Maybe she should go watch him.

The vision of him stroking over the swelling she'd started in her mind's eye was lovely, had her curling around her tight tummy. There were a few details she was missing behind her tired eyes unfortunately. Size, shape, color, and modifications were unknown. She kept her eyes closed though and plotted out where she hoped it would go, her watching him stroke, and what he'd look like doing it. She'd go check her accuracy in just a moment.

20 minutes later, Ada felt a nuzzle of wet hair against her cheek and woke up to a droplet on her cheek.

"Why are you wet?" Was the groggy question that made it out of her rattling vocal chords.

"There is a little washing station, I saw one by the springs when I was looking around, before I ran into you. You're supposed to wash before you go in. Hygienic. Figured I'd do it now." He brushed under her eyes with black tipped nails. "Are you sure a nap wouldn't do more for you than the springs? You didn't sleep last night."

"Do I look that bad?" she winced.

"Never, but you passed out while I was washing. Must be tired."

"I am, but, we have a long day tomorrow, and I've been looking forward to coming here since I got the scouting stills. It's so beautiful I wanted to experience it. Also to the bonding time." She wasn't the most outgoing person, but a solid crew family made a good movie, and good memories. She couldn't very well encourage it if she wasn't there. "Go. I'll meet you there."

"I think you go in the women's side. Get ready. I'll meet you there, and try not to let on I just saw you topless, ok?" He flashed his brows and dimpled and they kissed. This was going either be the most fun couple of days or the most frustrating of her life. When he left the room and she saw his case right next to her things, and the one white linenned bed, she doubted she wouldn't find relief. Ada got herself up on the idea of Harry wet, as he was when he left, but steaming too. She was steaming for him, still.

When she made it to the springs to discover her whole cast, Harry's entourage, and assorted crew she decided it would be frustrating. At least for the next little while.

He was sitting in the corner, holding court, his laugh ringing out and she realized it was at his own joke from the assorted head shakes. Harry could be very funny. Mostly when he got to make off color jokes. His dirty mind she'd only caught bits of, that night at the bar, last night in her room, and when she heard him joking with Masa or Yuki. She'd seen a bit of his dirt now though. It was either funny grains of grit or dad jokes. She guessed this one was a dad joke.

And still.

He was so sexy. The water was blue tinged and the steam rose up, in the whole spring, but all she could see was it rising up around him, making his bright pink lips stand out and the chocolate curls get tighter. He was chuckling with bright teeth and full dimples. There was someone on either side of him and she was thankful. It definitely kept her off his lap.

"Ada!" Lara called and everybody looked at her. She was so glad that her towel was wrapped right around her and huge. She was also glad they had the place to themselves and that they had made arrangement to use the springs in a co-ed fashion. And with bathing suits. She liked the free love idea, but not in front of her cast and crew. She was from California, but not that California.

A small voice in the back of her head was a little sad Harry wasn't naked. But then she remembered she'd have him naked, and they had their own tub in their own room.

She was suddenly thankful for the room drama. She probably wouldn't even look into it. Just be happy they were sharing a bed, and there were no 'your place or mine' moments.

She hadn't met his eyes yet. She was afraid to look, would everybody know that she was still juicy for him?

"Hey everybody, looking hot!" They all chuckled at her Harry style joke. "Sorry! I fell asleep." Not entirely untrue. She was careful not to look at Harry first or last. But she looked at him. And her towel dropped when they connected, by coincidence.

They all laughed at her and she did too while she walked down the stairs into the waters. She sat by Lara, carefully adjacent to and not across from the tattooed boy she wanted to memorize. Luckily, the conversation was lively and relaxation the mood.

The communal feel was awesome and laughs and jokes were plentiful.

Ada was sure she had calmed down, that the heat Harry had generated during their make out, had abated. She thought that until she felt a foot glance her own. At first, she thought it was an accident, but the foot stilled and swirled under her own to the sensitive sole an inch off the ground. She could feel his gaze. His foot was soft, but that wasn't surprising. He was a groomer. His nails painted in his off time. They'd have to get pedicures together. She loved that indulgence.

She also loved the realization that she was still on the boil.

And he kept her there, with a wrap of his foot around her calf and occasional steamy looks across the pool for the hours of relaxation they all enjoyed together.

Slowly, the numbers dwindled. Until it was just Masa holding court. Ada looked up and caught Harry's eyes. Then turned to Lara. "I'm gonna go back. I'm ready to go to bed."

"Ok girl, see you. Call time is 8 tomorrow. Breakfast spread at 7." Ada loved her organization.

"See you in the morning!" She leaned in and kissed her cheek, lifted her eyes to her bedmate. Would he follow?

He did.

Ada wasn't even sure how exactly she'd wound up on her back with her bikini untied at her neck and each hip so fast. She supposed they had simply picked up like they hadn't left off.

"I can still taste you, over the water." And he dipped his tongue back in her channel and she was sure the tide was rushing in.

"Fuck, fuck."

His hand covered a goodly portion of her ass and she lifted her hips to chase the wave. Except he leaned back and focused his attention on her ripening center. It was almost enough. But not quite. Her walls tightened a second time, and maybe she didn't need his tongue, that mouth.

"Harry!" She whined. She definitely needed it, to come to shore. It was so close, one length of his tongue over her from opening to top of hood and she'd be there. Saying his name in an entirely different attitude. Screaming it.

"Just a minute." He stared and it was enough to keep the waves in sight, but her tide was receding.

"No, no, no." Ada lifted her hips again, offered all of her salt to him. "Please! I'm close."

"I know." He was so calm and it was infuriating. She could feel her ire sliding into the crack of her ass. "You're tightening, and getting redder. I like to watch." And at that he looked her in the eye.

Ada's stomach rolled over itself and she would have rubbed her thighs together had he not caught her knees in his hands and pushed them back to the mattress. Then he breathed on her until she was babbling and biting the flesh of her arm. Just enough sensation to keep her tense, no slack, and no snap. It was maddening.

His tongue, when he applied it to her clitoris, was wily and wet and made three circuits before her back came off the bed and "Fuck!" came loudly out of her mouth. She'd not come so hard in a long while, not even with somebody else. It was good. It was better when his hands wrapped around the back of her hips and held her fast through the three "Stops!" she cried until the tide came all the way up to her eyeballs and she couldn't even shriek. She'd drowned. Her breath caught and lids closed.

When she was able to open her eyes again, he was perched on her lower stomach, sharp chin on her mons and she thought the thickness was ideal, designed. Maybe for him to place his adoring face on her low, low stomach and stare at her like this.

"You look even more radiant when you're coming your ass off." He rubbed his cheek over the smooth lasered skin.

"Thank you?" She giggled, a sound she didn't hear from herself too often, except around him. Even in the afterglow. "Let's see what you look like when you are coming your brains out. Come here." She reached down for his shoulders and loved the long lines of him, soft but firm over her curves, the dips at the side of his bum were sized well for her calves. She would have had more time to think of that if it wasn't the first time she felt him pressed against her center. She was so sensitive from her multiples, she pulled her hips back. "Wow."

"Wow?" He pulled back with his redolent mouth and smiled at her. "I'll take wow."

"I doubt you need dick compliments. That's what the internet is for, but I can give you wow."

"Uppercase or lowercase?"

"Well," Ada raised an eyebrow at him. "I think I need an actual look, and to see how it works." She raised two eyebrows then, and Harry laughed while rolling to the side.

"Be my guest." He motioned over his still slightly slick body and Ada licked her lips. He was long, lean,  bedecked and luscious. A feast.

"Definitely capitalized." She ran her hand from sparrow to laurel and followed the muscle obscured by ink to fill her palm with him. "Maybe shouty letters, even." Her hand cascaded up over him and down, foreskin swallowing the pearl inviting her to taste his tip. Her mouth found his nipples, the proper ones first. It seemed presumptuous to jump to the main course and skip the delicious appetizers. She nibbled along his torso and caressed his thighs and the sides of his glutes until he was squirming, mirroring her earlier hip ruts. She supposed it was a little cruel to start with strokes over his cock and then move to chest kisses and leg rubs. Backwards, but a beautiful tease.

Ada took pity on him of course, after a fond drag. "Need something, Styles?"

"I thought you were working on a new nickname, Smokes." Her mouth was above his bobbing dick and he flexed his hips to emphasize it. "But yes."

"I don't know what I should call you..." she tapped her chin, then ducked it and filled her mouth with his tip. "Maybe eager."

"Very." She smiled. "Ada, please put it in your mouth, I'm trying not to hump your face here."

"Why?" She queried before taking him nearly to his base. She pulled to the top, "Feel free to help."

"Holy fuck." He lay his hand on the back of her head and guided her that way, groaned when her hand took up what her mouth couldn't fit.

Ada's jaw was getting tired. She'd been sucking him passed the point of inquiry, knowledge, and fatigue, but Harry showed little impatience. Even after all that time in the springs his earlier wank was giving him a stamina she wasn't going to be able to conquer without using her entire body. She picked up her pace though, sucked up with hollowed cheeks, completing the strokes with her hand. She wasn't a quitter.

"God damn! I was right about your lips." Harry exclaimed after one enthusiastic mouthing.

Ada kept stroking. "You thought about my lips?" She slinked up his body. Gave herself a hiatus.

"God, yes, like every morning in the shower."

She smiled, kissed him languidly, and brought a leg over his lap. "I thought about yours too."

"Since when."

"Since always, but especially the bar. You look good with a microphone against your lips." She leaned in, swiped his mouth with her tongue. "DSL's."

"Hmmmmmm, takes one to know one." He rubbed her down. "Was it just my mouth? Or maybe you  have a rockstar fetish." He smiled while opening the condom.

"I do." She smoothed the latex over him. "Want to help me with that?" Her head went to the side and she crinkled her nose.

"More than anything." He swore while guiding her. There was something like completion about sinking down over him to the base. She saw that lake again, wide and flat, expansive. God, he was big.

"Steady." He held her for them both to adjust and watched her exhale. What a day, an evening. Harry had been excited about the menus when he arrived. Kunichi had been telling him about the spreads the Onsens, especially ones like Beppu, put out. There were often dishes even Kunichi had never had. Harry's been looking forward to trying new things, and hanging out with everybody. The minute he'd heard Ada didn't have a room though, he'd decided he'd be fine if he just spent all day eating her.

He'd been sure he was going to get his wish when they'd first made it to the room. He was fit to burst with getting to kiss her and feel her in private, with lots of time and a mutual finish in mind. When he'd realized they were going to have to pause he wanted to throw a fit, say fuck it, and just hole up in the room with her even if the entire cast and crew caught on to what they were up to.

He was so hungry for her, starved. He felt like the kid who was allergic to his favorite food and suddenly grew out of it. A glutton after austerity, tummy sick with peanut butter cups.

The interruption was necessary, he decided now watching her smooth brown skin move over his hips. If he'd gotten to feel that tight pussy slide over him before his bathroom wank, the finish would have been instant and he assumed one sided. He liked to make it last, especially since they had waited a while.

This way, he'd gotten to keep her on a low boil, so her flavors really developed, for several hours, gotten a leisurely taste of them, and bee allowed to fill her mouth as well.

Fuck food.

He'd just live on Ada. Right now, she was rocking back and forth over him, keeping him seated deep within her. She was so warm, ripe, but he wanted a deeper stroke, longer.

He side spanked her ample ass. She blinked open, her pupil had swallowed the brown in her iris. "Fuck me harder, Ada." Her eyes opened wider and she exhaled out of her nose before getting her legs under her so she was able to bounce all the way up and down him. It was a powerstroke.

Harry had felt like he was in no danger of coming because of his earlier wank, but the full length friction was going to erase his earlier emission. Did he stop her? She looked determined and was gripping his palms hard for leverage. Her eyes weren't rolling back in her head though, least not to his liking. She was too focused. He wanted her wild. This was too much for him, and not enough for her. He let go of her palms and that immediate sent her to gripping his torso, but her rhythm was broken. Like he wanted. He leaned up, and pulled her long over the top half of him and flipped her under him. This he could do for ages, he thought as he pulsed into her. There was that eye roll.

"Right there? Yeah." Her bleary nod was bliss. He thought this was sustainable until she nipped him with her cunt. Closed down around him rhythmically until he was groaning. "Yes, fuck, Ada!"

He sat back then, pushed her thighs up and stood. It dislodged him, but he wanted solid ground under him for this. The sheets made a slicking noise when Harry dragged her to the edge of the mattress.

Ada was rolling her head back over the thick cotton sheets. She smiled blearily. "I love it like this. God! Harry!" Her nipples were sensitive.

"How's my punctuation now?" He asked notching the tip just inside and working back and forth until she squeezed him hard.

"Well, I have a feeling we are getting close to a Big O." She giggled, again. He loved that sound, he'd heard it last night, in their moments of levity before it got heavy, and several times today.

"How quickly do you want to get there?" He pushed in thick and deep and her giggle became a moan.

"Fuck, soon, please."

"Yes Smokes, I love that word." Those moments of abandon when motion and sensation took over, he felt them on stage and while fucking. Probably why they were his two favorite things in the world. God, he'd never felt this free, wide open and expansive.

His hips moved faster, and he'd been sweating since they got out of the water. His body temperature hadn't dropped from its peak in the heated waters. He could feel beads rolling down his chest and over his abs. He looked down to see it collecting in his pubic hair and the view of Ada taking him, all of him, was extravagant.

"God, your pussy, I'm gonna come!" He focused on her face and watched her bite her lip. "Can you get there with me? Touch yourself."

Her hand gripped her nipple and he could feel her nails on the base of his cock from where she was doing as he'd ordered.

"Fuck honey." Honey. He hadn't expected such a sweet endearment. She was so much more tender alone, in their room. That what sent him over, his mouth dropping open, her openness and the possibilities. They had three days here, he got this giggly, sweet tongued, and naked Ada, in a private place for all the hours of each night.

"Ada! Look at me!" Her eyes caught his and he felt the pulses start at the base of his cock and work upward. It was her uncontrolled, unintentional clenches he'd remember though.

It took minutes for his breath to catch. And his sweat started to cool quickly. He saw a shiver come over her and he laid down around her to share his body heat.

"WOW!" He said into her ear.

"All caps." She got out and giggled.

[askthiscpblog]

More with Katie and Red?

It’d been a while since Katie found herself in this new place. Though Katie became somewhat accustomed to it that didn’t mean she didn’t want to leave. Well, at least she wasn’t alone in the experience. Ruby had found herself in the same predicament. Trapped in which the only way out was to be let out.  But hey, talking took their minds from it. Speaking of which, Katie was getting bored, so she decided to start up another one of their conversations.

“Hey Ruby, you up?” She said in a drowsy voice that was touching her voice. She had only wakened up about 15 minutes ago from a nap.

Ruby couldn’t remember how long they have been in this place and she didn’t want to rile herself up with that. Although she was much calmer, she still wanted to get out of that place. She didn’t like to feel caged up, even if they could leave the room. Whenever the two weren’t chatting, she looked out the window, which got boring quick. Now, instead of staring out the window, she stared up at the ceiling, also getting bored of it. She continued to debate if she should sleep, which would make time here go by much faster, but she refrained from it. Ruby was laying on her back, staring at the plain ceiling when Katie spoke up.

“Yeah, I’m up. You slept quite a bit…” she said while turning her head to the side to look at Katie.

“Yeah sorry ‘bout that…. there’s not much else to do but sleep…” Katie said giving a small tired smile. Other than talking there wasn’t much to do. They usually talked about what they would do when they’d get out which also wasn’t much, but at least they wouldn’t be stuck in a claustrophobic room. Katie was getting more irritated as each day went by. They already told EJ that they didn’t know the guy that attacked the place and he seemed to agree that they didn’t know too. So why were they still being held there?

“You don’t have to apologize…” she said while sitting up and running her fingers through her hair while letting out a small sigh.

“How much time do you think we’ve been here?” Ruby was getting impatient, but who would be? Her eyes drifted towards the door of the room they were in.

“Wanna explore a bit?” her voice was soft and full of curiosity. Katie got up and stretched.

“God, I don’t know…a month maybe? That’s what it feels like at least…” Katie yawned and looked around the room a little before replying. Katie wanted to get out of this room. Even if she was going to explore and come back. She needed something new to do anyway.

“Sure, I don’t see why not.”

The door opened a bit and the tall bird man-creature is peering through the crack. No eyes could be seen under the mask, a mane of feathers covering the upper torso of the body. Seeing the door open in the corner of her eye, she looked in its direction in silence for a few seconds before speaking.

“Uhhhh….hello?” It was looking at the both as if waiting for something. Hoodie was walking by during this, seeing the two peeks open the door with Seed looking into it. He moves Seed out of the way, pulling the door open more. He didn’t have his mask on, but he now faced to face with the girl who broke more than a few things in his body. Oh, fucking wonderful.

“Whatcha need?” he asked, looking in on what was going on. At first, Katie didn’t realize who the guy was. But his voice, she recognized his voice and it took her a minute to remember where she recognized it from. Her expression could only be described as annoyed now, knowing that this was the guy that had beat her in a fight.

“My friend and I wanna explore a bit…. we’re getting bored…” She said, her voice monotonous.

“You think you can just explore as much as you want? This place has false rooms that kill, you know.” Hoodie responded, leaning against the doorframe looking down at her. His face was unamused, and monotonous slack looking at her right in the eyes.

“Maybe we should let you get rid of you two quickly that way.” Seed gives him a disapproving look, not approving of what he is saying.

“You weren’t the one who was out there going against these people.” he retorted against that look.

Katie’s expression went from annoyance to irritated. Boy did she want to straight up hit this guy in the face. But she managed to hold the urge back. She had to since she was in a house full of people on this guy’s side. She was outnumbered 10 to 1, so making impulsive decisions wasn’t exactly a good idea. But that didn’t mean she would let this guy be a dick to her.

“I wasn’t going against anyone until you came after me with a damn gun,” Katie said, crossing her arms.

“The damn gun had rubber bullets in it. Not allowed to kill during the games, it would ruin the sport and fun.” he retorted to her, still leaning on the door frame. He was sizing her up in a casual manner, but not caring about what is going on with them.

“So, what, you guys wanna look around? I mean, the boss was debating on letting y'all go soon.” The red dog snickered at the two, watching them both argue with each other. Smile found this amusing, watching humans argue over little things.

“Yeah well sitting in a room for a while tends to get just a tad bit boring…” Despite being annoyed by the guy, Katie was glad to hear that they could be leaving soon.

‘It’s about damn time.’ she thought, then spoke out loud, “What? You afraid I’m gonna break your face again?”

“Nah, if that is gonna happen I just won’t use fake bullets next time. Or you know…” he leans forward, faces only inches away from her own. Tall as he is, it was an intimidating figure. There was something…off-putting about him. Not sure what, but something was bad about him. And it is not the fact he was a killer.

“I mean, maybe for that, we could leave you guys in there and die of boredom. It would be the easy thing to do for someone as cunty as you.” He finished, a shit-eating grin covering his face as he waited for her reaction.

Now that, that pushed her a little over the edge. Katie pushed him back, shoving him away in a sudden motion saying, “Stay…the fuck …out of my damn face…” She threatened, giving him a nasty glare. Did he manage to get a reaction out of her? Yeah. Did that mean he won? Pretty much. But right now, Katie didn’t care, and she wanted to leave this hell hole.

Hoodie chuckled when he shoved her back, happy to get some sort of reaction out of her. With that he stuffed his hands into the pockets of his hoodie, spinning on his heel to walk away. He got what he wanted, so no need for him to be here anymore right now. Seed Eater has an annoyed look, or one could believe it to be under that mask and let hoodie out. It huffed in response watching him leave.

Katie sighed, realizing she let her emotions out of control again. God, she fucking hated that guy. Another reason to leave this place. Katie sat down on the bed, eyes glaring out the window before she spoke.

“You still wanna go lookin’ around this place?” She asked, her gaze shifting to Ruby.

Ruby had watched that little show plays out, staying quiet as she studied Hoodie and Katie. It was the most entertaining thing to happen since they have been in this place. She knew Hoodie was trying to get Katie to blow up and give him the reaction he wanted. He gave off a weird vibe, which made her feel on edge and a bit irritable. Ruby understood why Katie started to get angry. It’s hard to keep your cool when someone is pushing your limits like someone prodding a bear in a cage. Once Hoddie left, her eyes followed Katie. Ruby’s ears twitched a bit once she spoke.

“If you want… It might help you calm down…” Her eyes drifted towards the door as she thought to herself, ‘Or it won’t if we run into him.���

“Yeah… maybe….” Katie mumbled She sighed and stood back up. Despite being a bit pissed off, she still wanted to explore this place. She hoped that everybody else in the house wasn’t as much of an ass as that Hoodie guy. But something told Katie there was a big chance they were. Katie walked to the door and looked back at Ruby.

“Well… we better hurry up…who knows how much time we got to look around before we’re shoved back in here…” Ruby gave her a small, a noticeable smile. She stood up and stretched her arms over her head before walking towards the door.

“Let’s just hope that won’t happen. I feel like I’m going crazy and I sure as hell will bite anyone’s head off if they try. I’ve been patient enough.” She said softly while opening the door.

Katie gave a small smile back before walking out into the hallway a bit. It felt nice not being trapped in that room anymore. Katie ran her fingers through her hair tired waiting for Ruby. Ruby poked her head out a bit before stepping out completely and closing the door behind her. her eyes wandered around the hallway, taking everything in as she moved a bit closer towards Katie.

“Do we just…walk down the hall?” she asked, not sure if this was the safest thing to do. But she was still too tired of being in the room to care.

“Guess so…” Katie said as she started walking. She looked around the hallway, taking mental notes of everything. They passed door after door, but Katie wasn’t about to go into the rooms. She remembered what Hoodie had said about the false rooms. How they were built to kill and whatnot. He could’ve been bluffing, trying to scare them into staying in their room but Katie decided to be careful in case he was being serious.

They see the bird-headed thing 20 feet in front of them, looking at them as if they were studying them. Or it was keeping an eye on them, making sure they don’t into trouble. Katie stopped dead in her tracks, staring right back at the creature. She didn’t know what to do, or rather what it might do. She waited for the creature to do something. It’s watching them, still unless it was following them as they walked.

Ruby tilted her head to the side, also staring at it.  After a few second,s she asked, “Do you have a problem with us walking around? We were told we could…” She didn’t like how it was staring at them, it made her feel on edge.

It kept its eye on them, silent beyond the creaking of the wood under its weight. It was giving off a bizarre aura, but none immediate threatening. Then in an inhuman voice is response, “No. You are free to roam. I am simply watching.”

Katie nodded and continued walking down the hall. Katie wondered how many people live here. The house seemed big so a fair amount of people lived here. She couldn’t imagine living with that many people herself. After walking down, the hall for a couple more minutes or so they finally came across the living room. Katie stopped and looked over her shoulder to make sure Ruby was still behind her.

Ruby crossed her arms as the creature continued to stare at them. Once it spoke, she let out a small hum before speaking, “Ah, so it talks.” A small sigh escaped her lips as she started to walk again, following Katie while looking around. She wanted to open those doors out of curiosity but refrained from it, remembering what the male told them. Ruby walked around Katie and investigated the living room.

“It’s a pretty nice place at least….” Katie mumbled to herself. She leaned against the wall looking around the living room. Nothing about the place caught her eye. It seemed like your average house, not including the shit ton of false rooms, but other than that it was normal.

They see a large figure in the center of the room, standing over ten feet tall. The head was white, featureless, and it appeared to be moving in a jerking, unnatural motion about the room. Any time it got near anything electronic, it sputtered and shifted until sparks flew out of it and it died.

Ruby completely froze up, watching the creature. Her eyes followed his tall form as she took in his appearance. Her ears twitched and moved a bit as she heard the sparks coming from the electronic things. Katie stood completely still as she watched the creature. She flinched a little as the electronics broke down, the sound of them hurting her ears. But her gaze never left the creature.

The figure stops and looks at the two of them. Again, no distinguishing features on the face beyond some indents where eyes should be. Its body turned, skipping frames and jerking to where it was right up on the two girls.

A small gasp left Ruby’s lips as she stepped back while looking up at him. She didn’t expect him to appear in front of them. She was caught off guard and she did not like that one bit. Her eyebrows furrowed as she thought to herself, ‘He’s so freakishly tall….’

‘Yes, I am. I am actually the short too.’ A voice appears in Ruby’s head, responding to her thought.

Katie continued to look at the creature. It unnerved her and she hated it. Katie flinched as the creature appeared in front of them thinking, ‘What else lives in this house?’

‘Many residents, both human, not, and somewhere between.’ It responded to her, looking down with no eyes.

Ruby squinted her eyes up at the creature while speaking, “How the hell did you do that?” She didn’t like how he was able to know what she was thinking. Katie froze a bit realizing it could hear her thoughts. Great. She didn’t know what to do at this point. After looking at Ruby it was clear that she wasn’t that happy about it either.

‘Do you see a mouth? How else am I to communicate with the two of you?’ It responded, the voice masculine in nature.“Yeah well sorry that having someone read your thoughts isn’t the most pleasant thing…” Katie retorted.

With that, Ruby frowned, but he did have a point. She bit the inside of her cheek, not wanting to argue with him about not wanting him in her mind. She looked at Katie, nodding a bit. “It’s not like… were used to this…”

'Which is understandable and fair. Might I interest you two in some tea? The boys haven’t been to informative since you arrived here a few weeks ago.’ He asks, gesturing over to what looks like an entrance to a kitchen.

Katie glared over at the kitchen for a second before answering, “Sure…” Katie didn’t know if she was able to trust this guy or not but next to EJ, he was one of the nicest guys here they’ve met so far. He could be trustworthy, he might not be. Guess they’d find out. Ruby followed Katie’s glare until too looked at the entrance of the kitchen. The creature seemed to be polite, but she still wasn’t going to put her guard down. She gave him a slight nod while crossing her arms.

He leads him in there and pointed to a cabinet that seemed to be filled with nothing but various tea types. The stove was an old-style firewood stove, loading into the side and everything. This room is the warmest in the house thanks to it.

'Please, help yourselves.’

Ruby’s eyes roamed the kitchen, stopping at the cabinet he pointed at. She walked towards it and opened it, looking at all the types of tea. A small hum left her lips before saying a small thanks. Katie followed Ruby, still feeling a bit unnerved by the faceless creature. She sat down on at a table. She looked around, observing the kitchen in silence. It was an average kitchen, older than most but has stainless steel appliances and electricity on one end. The figure appears to not be going close to the end without it, the firewood stove and ice box fridge.

“So…will you be letting us leave soon?” Katie was guessing this is the 'boss’ that the EJ had talked about before, so now was a better time to ask than ever. The uncertainty was starting to eat away at her, and boy did she hate it.

'Possibly. I’ve been searching for your memories as you two sleep. To make sure you two are not with him or any other enemy of ours.’

Ruby stopped looking through the cabinet, deciding not to get any tea since nothing caught her attention. She closed the cabinet and walked towards the table, also sitting. She looked at the creature while crossing her arms. “Possibly?”

Someone going through her memories didn’t sit right with Katie, it made her uncomfortable. She nodded and messed around with her cross necklace as she watched Ruby come sit down at the table.

'It is only a precaution really. The fact you two know of this place is a danger. Though you did not get here the normal route, rather when I allow masses to come. But I also have an offer. To join us and make things much easier in the future dealings. I doubt this will be the last time we will meet.’ he explained to them both. With that he sits down across from them, the chair seeming to be wrong as it fits his form. Like reality around him is forming the chair to fit, rather than it is shifting mass to him.

Ruby’s eyes followed him as he sat down while listening to him. Her eyes drifted to the chair before looking back at the creature. She cocked her head to the side a bit, her eyes never leaving where his own should’ve been.

“Join you?” Ruby liked to think of herself as a lone wolf most of the time. Katie seemed to perk up a little at the sound of an offer. Though the sound of 'joining’ somebody put her off a little. Katie had been alone for almost a decade now. And since then she hasn’t exactly been all that good with dealing with other people.

'We are organized and tend to keep to ourselves. Best way to describe it is a mafia of sorts. Only fewer drugs and more…supernatural things.’

“There’s a catch, isn’t there?” The offer didn’t sound too bad itself, but Katie was a bit doubtful that, that was all it.

'You work for me and will have a choice of who you can be assigned to work under. If not, I’ll choose myself. I also will mark you, so my main enemy can’t mind control you.’

“What if we refuse?” Katie asked, crossing her arms. Ruby continued to stay silent, listening to both of them. Katie was asking all the question Ruby wanted to ask. Her head was still cocked to the side, her eyes still on him, waiting for an answer.

'Then there will be no guarantee of your safety in what is coming. If you’re in the way or caught between, you will be killed without mercy.’ 

Her nose scrunched up at the last thing he said. Ruby leaned her elbows on the table and rested her chin on her hands. She wasn’t going to admit it, but she was a bit curious and her curiosity always stood in the way. A small hum left her lips, “Sure.”

'I’ll say this now if you accept there is no going back. Are you sure?’

Ruby gave him a slight nod while sitting back in the chair. “Yeah.”

The figure gave a small nod to her, letting her stick to get choice. Then she looks over to the other woman, waiting for her response.

Katie thought about it for a few more seconds before speaking. “I’m in.” She said, stretching her arms and back over the edge of the chair.

His head turns to the two of them before giving a short, almost unnoticeable nod to the two of them. 'Alright then. I will call everyone here and you can choose who your mentors will be.’ There was a moment of silence before they both started to see people file into the room. A lot of different people, some more human, others not.

Katie watched as people came into the room. Katie had not been around this many people in so long that it almost felt overwhelming. But it was too late to turn back now. Katie already agreed to the creature’s offer, so she sat there in silence observing everyone. Ruby sat up straighter, watching everyone files in. All these people all at once made her feel a bit uncomfortable. Her eyes drifted to everyone.

There was a gothic woman in a long black dress with raven black hair and a mask on, but the mask seemed to change expressions with what she had under it. Her heels clicked against the hard floor as she walked. There was the trio that came in, two of them they should recognize. Hoodie and Masky filed in, both staring down the girls but relaxed in posture. Toby came in after, scratching his arms, eyes looking everywhere wild and falling on the two girls sitting down. Next came another figure they would recognize. EJ saunters on in, mask off this time showing the gray skin and leaky black eyes. Though slow, he seemed at ease in comparison to when he was in the room with them. Almost too relaxed at all this. Two ghosts drifted through the walls. One had on a green suit and looked like Link but different; his eyes were different. Shorter than the rest, but had something to do with this house itself. The other one was gray in skin tone, lighter than EJ’s, with yellow eyes and a more modern style. He was drifting around in the air while the other ghost stayed solid on the ground.

'The woman is Jane, and she oversees a man we are trying to get back named Jeff. She is like him, to each other, in that they fight with knives and are close combatants. You two know my personal proxies, Masky and Hoodie here. Toby is the third one. Masky is up front and is a hard fighter, Hoodie tends to stay back and shoot, while Toby is a wild card fighter with hatchets. You know EJ, the medical person of everyone here. A human possessed by a demon, but they came into a symbiosis to form the person you see before you. Think like Venom in a way. When he does fight, he is very precise and dangerous. Maybe one of the most dangerous individuals here.

Then we have Ben and The Puppeteer. Ben is an electronics ghost who goes so far to drive people insane and into suicide. He is also our tech person in case we need to use that. Don’t let him fool you, he keeps EJ on his toes with how smart he is. The Puppeteer has 2 proxies of his own already, not here of course. He tends to be a filler where we need him, but most often an information gatherer. Don’t be fooled by his looks, he is a nasty fighter and a great ambusher.’

It was at that moment the bird-like man lets out a screech and a monochrome clown falls from the ceiling. He was tall and lanky, claws at the end of his hands instead of true fingers. The clown was currently holding his head, screaming for the other creature to stop screeching.

'This is LJ. Long story short, he is an angelic creation that was corrupted. He enters dreams and can do some abnormal things to himself to win a fight. He is a child killer specifically, more specific than the rest of us but me.’

The final person to come into the room is an odd looking, very short woman. She had two colored hair, one side pink the other purple, in pig-tails. Wearing pastel purple short overalls with bats and spiders crawling over them, her bangs were out of her face to show off her 8 eyes. Small fangs showed from her top lip, and the slit down her face. Her skin was light gray, lighter than EJ’s but darker than Puppets.

'This is Charlette. You can’t choose her, she is new as well. Same time as you two were here, but free to roam around due to LJ keeping an eye on her.’

Ruby’s eyes landed on Masky, feeling on edge. She clenched her jaw, keeping a growl from escaping her. She had a huge urge to ask how his back was doing. Once Slenderman began speaking, her eyes left him and drifted to everyone else. She took in everyone’s appearance while also listening about them as the creature introduced them.

'Regardless you will all be working together eventually at one point or another. So, this is also the first introductions. Until Jeff gets back. You have met Seed Eater and Smile, but they are not those who can teach you.’

“So we just chose someone,“ Katie said, sounding a bit unamused as she glared at Hoodie for a second. At least she knew who she wasn’t going to choose.

'If you don’t or are indecisive, I will choose for you.’

Ruby didn’t know who to choose, but she did know she didn’t want to be with Masky. She’d rather let Slenderman choose for her. Katie looked among the group. She was sure as hell wasn’t going chose Hoodie so at least her choices were shortened a little. She thought about how he said them all fight. One that her mind kept going back to was Toby’s style of fighting. He said that Toby was a wild card. She guessed that meant you wouldn’t be able to guess his next move when it came to a fight. Now that was Katie’s style. Unexpected, random, and relentless. She thought about it a bit more before speaking.

“Alright,” Katie said as she brushed some hair out of her face. “I choose Toby.”Slender looked at her and gave a nod in response and looked over at Ruby. It seemed like he was studying her, waiting to see if she was going to speak up or not. After a minute of awkward silence, he speaks up instead, ‘You will be with EJ.’

Ruby looked at EJ and nodded, she didn’t mind being with him. At least she wasn’t paired up with a stranger or Masky. She finally spoke up, her gaze drifting to Slenderman.

“What will we be mentored in?” she asked, not sure what is going on.

'How we run things around here mostly. Refine your skills as murderers and hunters. Various other things as well.’

A small hum left Ruby’s lips while nodding and crossing her arms. She didn’t mind the other things, but she thought she didn’t need to refine her skills. She liked how she hunted.

With that Slender stands up and goes to move out of the room. Everyone else started to leave as well, filing out to go back to what they were doing. Even their mentors left, but no one else seemed to bother them. This will be interesting from now on.

[silkkpopbonnet]

Teenager

After a horrible divorce Jaebum is left as a single father, life has taken its toll on him and sometimes he just wants to feel like young again. Love is hard to find, and when he does find it will it make him feel like a teenager again?

Jaebum looked down at his daughter’s soft curls and sighed. At 1.5 she was a picky little thing, and she was finally asleep after three books, something that his wife was supposed to be doing tonight. Not that he really cared, he felt like he was getting too old to be going out with the rest of the guys anyway. He was a married man with a daughter now. However; he kissed her little brown face and turned on her unicorn night light as he left the door cracked.

Taking his cell phone out of his pocket, Jaebum texted his wife.

                                Where are you?

It took a minute for her to respond, and he almost hit the call button before she answered.

   Working. I told you, another late night, please don’t be all behind me like that you know I hate that.

He knew she did, but Jesus another night? He groaned, sitting on the couch.

   I was supposed to meet the guys tonight. Are you gonna be another hour or?

He could tell she was probably angry by the way the little bubbles disappeared then reappeared. Finally a nice, lengthy, and very annoyed text came back.

 OMG, JB you saw them last week. I thought you liked being a daddy so much? You know how vital this promotion is to me. Just invite them over or something, I don’t care. Please let me get this done, I don’t want to have to worry about you and your hurt feelings.

Rude much? He read her text twice, deleting and writing again before deciding to just ignore her. She wanted space then fine.

                            Fine.

He smiled. Let her stew over that. Or not, she’d probably ignore him. It was like that a lot lately. Well, ever since she finished her masters and started working for that corporation she’d been so busy. She didn’t want to have kids, didn’t want any pets. Just him and her. Instead of him waiting around for her. He hated it, she used to be so carefree, she used to hug him more. They had sex more too now that he really thought about it.

He met Nia at a JYP party 6 years ago. He had stared at her practically all night before BamBam realized he knew the woman she was with. He had introduced them, and Jaebum was trying not to fall in love.

She was tall, maybe an inch shorter than him. Brown skin that glowed in the light, smooth like butter. Everything about her was perfect, from her ample bottom on those long legs, to the way she smiled at him with those full lips. She introduced herself confidently in Korean, her accent was adorable, and he was stumbling over his words. Their love was a whirlwind, they got married a year and a half later.

What happened?

Trying to push the memories away, he called Jinyoung to find out where everyone was. He could hear the rest of the guys with him.

“Hey, I can’t go out. Nia is still at work, and I don’t have a sitter. You guys want to come over?” He asked Jinyoung, as he looked through the cabinet for snacks.

Jinyoung groaned. “What? We planned this last week!”

Jaebum listened as Jinyoung explained what was going on to everyone else. Youngjae and Mark agreed to go to his house. BamBam and Yugyeom were upset.

“Tell them I’m sorry, I don’t have a sitter.” Jaebum remembered BamBam was there and quickly added, “And no, not some young girl BamBam knows, someone I trust.”

He heard a groan and then more talking. He knew they wanted to drink and dance. It was just getting so hard to coordinate with Nia now.

“It’s ok Jinyoung, tell them maybe next week-”

“No, hyung. We are coming over, we’ll bring drinks is that ok?”

Smiling, JB pulled the chips and cookies out he had. “Yea, please do.”

“See you in 20.”

Hanging up the phone, Jaebum looked down to see another text from Nia.

 It’s going to be like this all week, so don’t wait up for me.

So no time for just them, no time to hang out with his friends. He ran upstairs to make sure Areum was still asleep. Thumb in her mouth she was sound asleep, and he walked back downstairs wondering when his family, would indeed be a family again.

“Nia, don’t walk away when I’m talking to you. You scared Areum, what the fuck is wrong with you, it’s just milk!” Jaebum was chasing after his wife up the stairs to their bedroom.

“It’s not just the milk!” Slamming the bathroom door closed, he could hear her curse behind the door. “Fuck!”

Dinner was going fine, Nia had laughed at something he said, she was even home early. He had just refilled Areum’s cup when the baby had knocked it over onto the floor. Nia flew off the handle, causing Areum to cry for Jaebum. She was so tense, everything was unraveling at the seams.

“Nia, listen. Calm down, then come downstairs and let’s finish dinner. Maybe..” He got close to the door, placing a hand on the wooden surface. “Maybe, when Areum goes to bed we can talk. We haven’t talked in a while, I’ll rub your feet?” Feeling confident, he tried the doorknob only to find it locked.

“No.” The only answer he received.

Knocking on the door, he responded. “No, to what exactly?”  

As the door opened, Nia pushed past him and went into the closet. “No to all of it. No, to you touching me, being near me, no to her being near me. I just can’t deal with all this and you guys. I just need to leave.”

His mouth went dry, hands shaking slightly. For some reason, there was a strange ringing in his ears, and as Jaebum shook his head, he moved his tongue around in his mouth although it felt like lead.

“Being near me? Being near Areum?” He moved his feet slowly across the floor, to the closet where Nia was on her knees packing a suitcase.

“Yes.” She stopped long enough to look up at him. Her face devoid of emotion, no tears, no hesitation as she spoke her next words. “I don’t want to be here anymore Jaebum. I can’t, it’s bad enough you made me have a baby, this makes it harder.”

He knew he was breathing harder and faster than average. Jaebum knew he shouldn’t be as angry as he was and perhaps he should calm down, go downstairs and check on Areum. He should ignore what she said and just let her cool down. Instead, he allowed his emotions take control.

“What the fuck did you just say to me?” Slamming the door open to the closet. “Repeat what you said, real slow too and in English this time so I know you’re serious.”

She chuckled, standing up to straighten her suitcase. “We’ve been together four years, nearly five and you still have a hard time understanding English, don’t get cute.”

Gritting his teeth, he laughed to keep from cursing. “Wow. Ok, I’m pissed. Just to let you know and I’m trying to…what is wrong with you?”

“Everything!” She screamed. “I was doing great, I was doing fine, and then you came along and just…I was fine with that. I had things I wanted to do with my life Jaebum. It was my life, and I didn’t have to worry about anyone else. Then you just had to have a baby.”

“Her name is Areum! Areum Im! She’s our daughter for fuck’s sake Nia, I made you have her? If you didn’t want to get pregnant then maybe you should have stayed off my dick!” He didn’t want to cry, he didn’t want her to see his tears. The child who sat downstairs listening to her parents yell and scream was flooding through his mind.

“Like you weren’t begging me?” Nia watched him walk out the room, chasing him. “Oh, so now you don’t want to have the conversation? Really? You begged me, you practically cried to have her. Now she’s here, and all I can think about is everything I can’t do.”

As Jaebum hit the bottom step, he looked into the dining room to see Areum smashing her rice around, kimchi on her head. He smiled to keep from screaming. He smiled at Areum to keep from turning around and crying in Nia’s face. Ignoring his wife, he walked over to his daughter and scooped the food off her head.

“Hey you, let’s have a bath.” Lifting the baby from the high chair.

Areum smiled at him, his eyes and mouth on her mother’s face. “Apa.”

Nia was standing there as he faced her. “So, that’s it? You’re done? I have what I want, and you still don’t have everything you need Nia? We are your family, I made a pledge to love and respect you, but I’m having a hard time even looking at you right now.”

She waved a hand at him dismissively. “In some way, you feel the same. How many years has it been since Got7 has done something? Damn, even EXO vocal line had a Christmas album.”

“Got7 will always be there! I have my fans sure, but my family is something different! I’d give up everything for Areum if I had to.” He scoffed. “Now I know you wouldn’t even think about doing that.”

Walking past her, Areum placed her face in the crook of Jaebum’s neck. The feeling of her fingers holding onto him softened him. Made him calm down a little, even if he had no one else, she was with him, and he’d always have her. He wouldn’t let Nia have her, though it was clear she didn’t want to have anything to do with the baby.

As he made it to the stairs, Nia spoke. “I’ll be back for the rest of my stuff in the morning. I’ll get you divorce papers by next Monday.”

                                                    3 Years Later

“Areum! Your toys are everywhere why?” Jaebum looked at his foot and the Monster High doll currently missing an arm.

Areum sprinted around the corner, smiling as she picked up her doll, popping its arm back on. “Apa, you broke it.”

“You fixed her, maybe don’t keep your stuff on the ground and that won’t happen.” He shook his head and pointed to the rest of the things scattered around the living room. “Uncle Jinyoung is coming today, clean up.”

“He’s grumpy. I like Uncle Jackson better.” Areum pursed her lips as she made the dolls legs march along the couch, ignoring her father’s orders to clean up.

Jaebum chuckled. “Don’t tell him that, he thinks he’s your favorite.” Picking up the toys himself, he began tossing them into a chest.

Areum turned towards her father, a bright smile on her face. “I tell all my uncles they are my favorite, then they buy me toys.”

Jaebum laughed out loud, as she picked up the remaining few toys. “You’re a scammer.”

“BamBam said sometimes you have to please people a little then they do what you want. He said that’s how he gets the ladies.” Areum shook her head matter of factly before grabbing the remote, sitting on the couch.

Jaebum nearly hit his head on a cabinet as he looked at his daughter. “I’m going to talk to BamBam.”

“He also said never trust a big butt and a smile.” Areum laughed. “Big butt.”

“Areum!” Jaebum had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling. “That’s not nice for children to say. Don’t let me hear that again.”

The four and a half-year-old scrunched up her nose. “Fine…BamBam getting me in trouble.”

Scoffing, Jaebum shook his head and prepared himself some coffee. He knew everyone would probably be stopping by today. It had been 3 years since Nia had left and he was a single father. Nia hardly called, though she always sent a present on Areum’s birthday, Children’s Day, Easter and Christmas. Nia never had much to say to Jaebum, and somehow he knew it was for the best. The words she said, they still hurt his heart when he looked at his daughter.

Areum was a beautiful girl. Coily, dark hair that she liked to keep in a top knot on her head. She had so much hair now, it was more like a small bowling ball on her head. It had taken him a minute to do her hair correctly, but with the help of youtube and Youngjae’s girlfriend, he had it now.

She had his eyes and mouth, the rest of her face was Nia. Skin complexion in between theirs, she was sassy and sweet. She had a mean streak that Jaebum could thank Jinyoung for but; she was as kind and caring as Youngjae. Jaebum sipped his coffee as he watched Areum sing along to her cartoons. She was a good baby too, as soon as Nia could she went back to work and left him with an infant.

It took Mark holding Areum on his chest and talking to her in his deep voice, and that got her to sleep. As she got older, fooling around with BamBam and Yugyeom was her favorite. Now, after trading scowls with Jinyoung, Jaebum followed the two as they went to the store or mall and listened as they gossipped about the people around them.

He had a good life, it was peaceful. Jaebum and Areum. Although singing and producing tracks was still his passion, he had a daughter to fit into that schedule now, and he made it work. He took Areum to the studio, he made a place for her there and let her do what she wanted. He took her to meet clients, and she even put in her influence on some of the things he was working on. Right, he didn’t go out as much as he used to, and yea Jaebum had no interest in any woman, but…he was a father. That was his priority. Priorities, you had to have them straight, and he’d be damned if he was like Nia.

It still rocked his mind how she left like that. Just up and went, like she was never here. He remembered how he watched her gather her things the next day. She never looked at him, didn’t even kiss Areum goodbye. He cried that night like he never had before, a strong in your chest, a snotty cry that gave him a headache.

He thought she loved him. He had thought that she was just going through some stress and she’d come back and love him like she did before. She didn’t though and still hurt. A raw feeling in his body whenever he opened his nightstand and pulled out her picture. He spent a lot of time listening to Sza and Frank Ocean then. Spent a lot of time trying to figure out how to make her love him, sending texts that were never answered, calling her and only getting voicemail.

He had hoped that who she was when they met was who she always going to be because he was happy then. Maybe he was too blind to see that she was unhappy and using him as a band-aid for something that was too deep inside her to be fixed.

“Apa!!!!!!” Areum screamed his name, and Jaebum jumped up looking at her.

“Yes?” His heart was beating fast in panic as he realized he had drifted off in thought.

“Uncle Jinyoung is at the door, he’s been ringing the bell, can’t you hear?” She continued to jump around, listening to an old Twice song.

“Yea baby.” Getting up, he walked to the front door.

“About damn time.” Jinyoung moved past him, shaking the snow that lingered on his coat. “It’s cold in your hall, building manager needs to turn the heat on.”

Jaebum rolled his eyes. “It’s a building thing, the halls remain a good 55 for some reason.”

“Well, it’s dumb. How you feeling?” Jinyoung handed him a small bag, moving a package around in his arms.

Jaebum gave his friend a small smile. “I’m fine. Mark called me this morning, you guys really have to stop this.”

“Checking on you?” Jinyoung removed his shoes and walked down the hall behind Jaebum. “You know we won’t, you’re still hurting. Anyone can see that. She fucked you up bad, which is why I’m here to tell you we are going out tonight.”

Jaebum turned around, holding out a hand to stop Jinyoung. “Whose idea is this?”

Jinyoung sighed, his shoulders slumping. “Youngjae, now can I see my niece?”

“No.” Jaebum stopped him again as Jinyoung tried to side-step him. “Who?”

Trying to keep his voice quiet Jinyoung scowled. “All of us! We all think it’s good for you Bummie. Look at yourself!” Scoffing, Jinyoung pushed Jaebum to one side and smiled at Areum. “Who’s my girl?”

“I am!” Areum ran to Jinyoung, hugging his legs as he leaned down to kiss her head. “Is this a present for me? It’s not Christmas yet!”

“No, but I love you, so I bought you something.” Handing her the purple foil wrapped box, Jinyoung patted the couch next to him. “Open it.”

As Areum opened the gift, Jinyoung turned to Jaebum. “Make me some coffee hyung? Then we can talk.”

The two laughed and talked for a bit, Jinyoung asking Areum why she chose to pair her plaid leggings with that checkered top. When the girl answered couture Jinyoung, was taken aback.

“Ok, fine. I just don’t think the pattern goes well together.” He stood up, crossing his arms over his chest.

Areum sat her new doll to one side, to pick up the little doctors kit it came with. She side eyed Jinyoung as she answered. “What you think and know are two different things.”

“Well excuse me!” Jinyoung answered her with a loud laugh. As he walked over to Jaebum, he sat down, sliding his coffee mug over towards him. “Seriously, when she’s old enough I’m gonna fight your kid.”

Shaking his head, Jaebum smiled. “You taught her.”

“Don’t remind me.” Sipping his coffee, Jinyoung knew how the conversation was gonna go. “You aren’t yourself, and you haven’t been since she left. If you want me to be honest, and yes I am, when she got pregnant with Areum.”

Jaebum didn’t want to have this conversation, Mark had tried to, and he had ended up making their quietest member yell at him. “Jinyoung…I don’t want to.”

Gritting his teeth, Jinyoung continued. “I don’t care. Someone is going, to be honest with you and why not the person you’ve known the longest?”

“That’s not the point.” It was a sensitive subject, is what Jaebum wanted to say, but he didn’t want anyone to see him break down over Nia. See him as less of a man if he cried.

“Jaebum.” Dropping honorifics, Jinyoung tapped on Jaebum’s hand to get his attention. “She never really loved you, not how you loved her. Ok, that’s over, Nia is gone. She won’t apologize, she’s too haughty for that. She is not coming back, and you need to move on.”

Clenching his fists, Jaebum turned from his best friend. “Shut up.”

“Get rude, do what you have to, but it’s the truth. You’re a shell of who you were.” Finishing his coffee, Jinyoung continued. “Stop this. You’re coming out with us tonight, you’re going to have a good time, and eventually, someone will love you and Areum like you need to be. Until then, at least try…”

“Try to do what!” Struggling to keep his voice down, Jaebum picked up Jinyoung’s cup to fill it. He needed to move, he needed to walk around and hopefully, the distraction would cause Jinyoung to stop talking. To stop poking at the fresh wound that was still in his heart. “You guys say, move on. You say get dressed, let’s go out but I can’t. I loved her, does no one understand that? I loved her with everything I had. I made it work, culture differences and..” Jaebum ran his hands through his thick, midnight dyed hair.

Getting up, Jinyoung watched as his leader slumped over on the counter. He listened as Jaebum tried to calm his breathing and choke back on the tears that Jinyoung knew he was trying to keep at bay. “We know. I know. More than anyone, I know how you felt about her. That doesn’t change anything.”

“Maybe…if I give her more time.” Sitting up Jaebum wiped at the corners of his eyes.

“No. Nia doesn’t need any, because…I’m not going into this.” Looking into Jaebum’s eyes, Jinyoung pointed at Areum. “Do it for her. Don’t you think that Areum knows? She knows she has an absent mother, you know what she told Youngjae last week? She said she heard you crying in the bathroom, and Areum wondered if she had a mommy to love you, would you stop crying at night?”

Jaebum looked over at his daughter. He thought she was asleep, how much did she know? Touching at the stubble on his face, he looked at Jinyoung. “What else did she say?”

“Nothing. Please, just go out. Do something…” Jinyoung knew Jaebum wasn’t big on hugs, but he knew pain. He had experienced his own heartbreak. He knew how it felt to have loved, and watch it leave you. Breaking the unspoken rule, he pulled Jaebum into a hug. “We miss you, we miss the fun Jaebum, we missed when you were free.”

He knew it was time. Wrapping his arms around his friend, Jaebum squeezed him back. Nia wasn’t going to come back, and nothing was the same. He had built a wall around his heart and just threw himself into work and Areum.

“Fine. I’ll call the sitter.”

That night Jaebum looked at himself in the mirror as he fixed the collar on his black button-up.

“You look handsome Apa.” Areum stepped into the room wearing her unicorn pajamas.

“Thank you, baby, do me a favor tonight?” Jaebum turned towards her, as he walked into the bathroom to spray on cologne.

“Don’t call you while I’m hiding from the babysitter?” Areum’s grin was downright devilish.

“That.” Jaebum rubbed some lotion on his hands. “I need you to be a good girl, and sleep, when you wake up in the morning, I’ll be here.”

“Of course you will, you don’t pick up ladies like Yugy.” Areum smiled as Jaebum stared at her in the mirror.

“What?” He knew he heard her, but he was making sure.

“BamBam said that Yugy does that, he changes women like he changes his underwear.” She giggled. “I change mine every day.”

“Areum.” JAebum let out a heavy sigh. “I’m going to kill BamBam.” Closing the bathroom door behind him, Jaebum sat on the edge of his bed and pulled his daughter close to him. “You hear me cry sometimes?”

Areum grew quiet, she snuggled into her father’s side and wrapped her arms around his waist. “Yes, I’m sorry I told.”

“No.” Jaebum hugged her back, he buried his nose in her coily hair and took a deep breath. “It’s fine, I won’t cry anymore either.”

“You can cry if you’re sad Apa, why don’t you tell mommy you’re sad?” Areum moved her face to look up at her father.

Jaebum swallowed hard. “Mommy doesn’t want to hear that. So, I don’t tell her because it won’t help.”

Areum stayed quiet for awhile, she seemed to be thinking, her almond-shaped eyes staring at her father. “Why did mommy leave?”

He knew it was going to come one day. He knew he’d have to prepare for it, but he wasn’t sure how exactly. One day maybe she would see the truth. “Mommy was overwhelmed with everything, mostly me. She was just unhappy, and she is happier by herself. I suppose some people are like that.”

“She was happier without us?” Not missing a beat, Areum waiting for an answer.

“Yes.” Jaebum choked on the lump in his throat.

“So now, you’ll have to find a new wife?” Areum lets go of her father, she hopped down from the bed and grabbed a tissue from his nightstand.

Dabbing at Jaebum’s eyes, he tried to smile as she mostly wiped his cheek. “I don’t have to.”

“Maybe you should, everyone needs someone to love. BamBam said that too.” She kissed her father’s cheek, patting it.

“At least in that aspect BamBam is right. Now come on, the sitter will be here soon, and it’s time for bed.”

It was louder than Jaebum remembered in this club. Darker and hotter as well. Beyonce’s formation was playing, and as soon as BamBam came through the door, he and Yugyeom hit the dance floor. Shaking his head, Youngjae wrapped his arm around his girlfriend and followed Mark as he leads them to a secluded table in VIP.

“You mix that negro with that Creole make a Texas bama!!!” Youngjae’s girlfriend, Ava cried out as she danced around Youngjae.

He smiled at her, holding her hand, before placing one hand on her waist as she began to dance on him. Jaebum raised an eyebrow at the couple, wondering when Youngjae came out of his shell as he watched them.

“I like Ava, she makes Youngjae smile,” Jackson commented as he slid next to Jaebum.

“She’s good for him,” Mark added, waving a waitress over.

They watched as Ava lead Youngjae to the dance floor, he was confidently holding his own. Watching as the music changed to something with more bass. Jaebum grinned as Ava bent over in front of Youngjae, bouncing her ass on him, with Youngjae moving his hips to the beat.

“So, as they make a baby on the floor, we can watch BamBam and Yugyeom move like sharks through the water as they find some women.” Mark chuckled, as he sat back and waited for Jackson to say something.

“Don’t be a hater, Mark,” Jackson added right on time. “They have game, you have none and sit there scowling like an old man.”

“I get girls, they just don’t get me.” Mark sat up as the waitress came back with drinks, taking his own.

“So says the man who hasn’t had a steady girlfriend in two years.” Jinyoung retorted.

Mark downed his shot, pouring another. “Like I said, I get girls, they don’t get me.”

“Alright, alright. Let’s just have fun.” Jaebum took a shot offered by Mark, and downed it, coughing after the burn. “Damn.”

“So then let’s dance, let’s mingle.” Jackson stood up, running his hands over his mesh shirt under his jacket. “I bought this shirt to show off for someone who might be special, not Y'all.”

Laughing, Jaebum took another shot. “I might need a few more drinks first.”

“Fine.” Jackson pointed at Mark. “Wingman?”

“Wingman.” Mark grasped Jaebum’s shoulder. “Loosen up and let me see you out there, it’s nice to see you relax finally.”

Nodding at him, Jaebum ordered more drinks and turned towards Jinyoung. “So, I’m here, happy now?”

“Not quite.” Jinyoung put his phone down and scanned the room, before looking back at Jaebum. “How would you feel about being set up on a date?”

Jaebum slid his hand down his face. “Please don’t tell me you invited someone here.”

“No. Sunday, you can meet her. She’s international since that seems to be your thing.” Jinyoung poured a shot of Souju and groaned.

“Depends on what you mean by that.” Jaebum eyed, Jinyoung as he drank as well.

“She’s an American.” Jinyoung watched as a pair of women walked by the table, one plainly eyeing him.

“That tells me nothing.” Ignoring the woman’s friend who was looking at him, Jaebum continued to drink.

“You’ll see, that’s why I like America. I say American, and you don’t know who to think. I say China, and you know. I say Japan, and you know.”

“Is it code word for she’s black? I don’t like someone based on color, Nia was a black woman, yes, but that’s not why I liked her.” Jaebum felt himself getting irritated if that was the case.

“Calm down. No. I just meant you like international women. Nothing else, Jesus, calm down.” Jinyoung passed him a bottle of water. “Drink this, you’ve had 6 shots in 10 minutes.”

“I’m fine.” Jaebum pushed the bottle away. “I’m having fun remember?”

“It won’t be fun tomorrow.” Standing up Jinyoung finished one more shot. “Let’s go see what the others are doing.”

As they moved through the crowd, they watched as Youngjae and Ava made their way back to the table. BamBam was currently whispering something in a woman’s ear that made her smile. Yugyeom was holding a woman close to him on the dance floor. His hand on the small of her back as he pressed her body into his. Mark and Jackson were standing off to one side, laughing with a small group of men and women. Jaebum looked around at the people passing him and near him. It seemed like everyone was so young, but then again he couldn’t talk much. Mark was older than he was.

An old EXO song was playing now, one that he liked and as he bobbed his head to the music, he looked to the right. Either he was drunk, or something was messing with his head because the crowd seemed to part a little at just the right moment. Through the light smoke haze, he saw her. Standing there, with a smile on her face as she danced in the little group with her friends. A fitted black dress on that accentuated all the right places, her heels the brightest things she had on. Their electric blue color, making his eyes strain.

She was just there, and there was nothing else. The sounds became muffled, and everything seemed to slow down. Jaebum was never one for love, at first sight, lust yea sure but come on. No one was that…gorgeous. No one could be that perfect and not realize the effect she had on everyone in the room. Was she looking at him, her lip curled up into a smile, as she put her hands up and continued to sway.

The crowd milled around, and then she was gone. Jaebum panicked, trying to look over peoples head as he made his way over to her. She had left that area, and he turned around scanning the crowd, he just wanted to look at her up close, maybe know her name. Something, anything. Spotting Jinyoung, he made his way over to him.

“Did you see..”

“How could I not? You were practically drooling, you stood there so long you probably creeped her out.” Grabbing Jaebum’s shoulders, Jinyoung turned him towards the bar. “That way.”

Then she was back in his vision, drink in her hand as she stuck her tongue out and laughed. “Maybe I shouldn’t.” Confidence lacking, now as he took a step back. Jaebum looked back at Jinyoung, who shook his head.

“Go, or I’ll go over there and embarrass you.” Giving Jaebum an easy push, Jinyoung walked away from him to make his way back to the table.

It was simple right? He was so out of practice. Just go over there, say hello, introduce himself and ask her if she wanted to dance. Maybe buy her another drink since was almost done with the one in her hand. His heart was in his throat, as he finally neared the bar. Enough that she looked up at him, she grinned and turned back to her friend as Jaebum finally stood in front of her.

They stared at each other for a while, before she shifted uncomfortably on her feet. “If you stare any longer, I’m going to have to charge you.”

“I’ll pay.” Jaebum smiled, holding out his hand to her. “Jaebum, and you are?”

She slid her hand into his, and he gripped it tight pulling her closer so he could kiss her knuckles. She smiled wide, her friends ohh’ing as Jaebum let her hand go. “Amina.”

He listened to the deep cadence of her voice, slightly raspy, he liked it. “Amina, do you want to dance?”

“She does.” One of her friends taking her empty glass as Jaebum took her hand once more leading her out to the dance floor.

Amina said nothing, merely smiling as Jaebum pulled her close to him, My Type by iKON began to play. He turned her around, so her back was to his chest. “How are you doing tonight?”

Amina laughed. “That’s the conversation we’re going to have now?”

Jaebum turned her around, one hand on her back, the other holding her hand tight in his. “Can’t I ask how you’re doing? Isn’t that the polite thing to do?”

“Yea, I’m fine, and you?” Amina lets go of his hand to dance in front of him by herself.

“Doing better, I wasn’t sure about this place at first, but I think I’m warming up to the idea.” He came closer to her, placing his hands on her waist doing a slow grind behind her.

“Why is that? I’ve been here a few times the music mix is always good.” She pressed her body closer to his, lifting her arm, so it was behind his neck.

“Didn’t see anyone that caught my eye, friends dragged me out here, but now I see you so…” He let his words linger, definitely realizing that alcohol was making him more confident that what he really was.

Amina laughed, letting go of him so she could wrap her arms around his neck as the song transitioned. “Aren’t you smooth?”

“It’s the soju.” Jaebum grinned and leaned down so that he could rub his lips along her jaw. “You want to go sit down and talk?”

Nodding her head, she let him take the lead, going back to the table where Mark and Jinyoung sat looking at something on Mark’s phone. The looks of surprise on their faces went away quickly as Jaebum motioned them not to say anything.

“Hello.” Amina waved at the two, reaching out her hand. “I’m Amina.”

“Mark.” The first to take her hand, he smiled at her and nodded his head at Jaebum.

Jinyoung raised an eyebrow as he took her hand. “Jinyoung, do you guys want to be alone?”

“No, it’s-”

“Yes.” Jaebum cut her off. “If you don’t mind.”

Amina shook her head. “Y’all can stay, if Jaebum wanted to talk to me alone, he could ask me on a real date.” She looked pointedly back at Jaebum, crossing her legs under the table.

“How do you know I wasn’t going to?” Jaebum asked, and Jinyoung nudged Mark as he watched the exchange.

Licking her lips slowly, Amina grinned at him. “I figure you’d have brought that up already.”

“So, Amina where are you from?” Mark interrupted as he looked at her.

“San Francisco.” She answered, sliding closer to Jaebum.

Sitting up a little, Mark answered. “Oh, that’s whats up. I’m from LA. What brings you to Seoul?”

“Shouldn’t Jaebum be asking her these questions?” Jinyoung pushed a drink in front of Mark. “Show me that girl again.”

Amina laughed and turned back to Jaebum. “So, are you from Korea?”

“Yes, native Korean if that’s what you’re wondering. Why are you in Seoul though?” He draped an arm over the back of where she sat, as he moved his position Jaebum realized he was drunk. The room wasn’t shifting, but it was sweltering, and his face hurt from smiling so much.

“Business opportunities. I’m a MUA, makeup artist and the company I am working with had opportunities here. I thought why not.” She let her hand fall on his thigh. “I’ve been here for four months now.”

“Do you like it?” He hoped she did, he wished that he could see her tomorrow, and the day after and that she just wasn’t interested in him for tonight.

“I do. I think my Korean is getting better.” She moved her tongue over her nude painted lips, letting her hand slide up his chest. “Tell me something Jaebum, why haven’t you kissed me yet?”

He wanted to, nothing was holding him back even though he knew Jinyoung and Mark were watching his every move. “I’m interested in getting to know you outside of tonight.”

Moving away from him, Amina moved her legs over Jaebum’s until she was sitting sideways on his lap. “Good because I have to go, work in the morning, where’s your phone?”

Startled, Jaebum tried to calm himself down he didn’t want to give himself away too much, and he shifted her on his lap as he pulled out his phone. “Can I put mine in yours?” She pulled her phone out from her bra and handed it to him.  

Handing her phone back, Amina slid off his lap as her friends came up to the table. “Perhaps, I’ll hear from you soon?”

She didn’t give him time to answer as she started walking away, impulse reacted in Jaebum, he reached out taking her wrist pulling her back to him. One kiss, that was it. Pressing his lips against hers chastely, he let her go.

Amina covered her mouth as her friends laughed shuffling her towards the door.

“Well, I think you’ve had enough adventure for tonight.” Jinyoung interrupted Jaebum’s reverie.

“Naw, he just needs to get it wet one time, and he’ll be better.” Mark laughed before Jinyoung punched his arm. “Are you going to call her?”

As the rest of the crew came back to the table, BamBam saw the interaction and clapped his hyung on the back. “I saw that. You have to wait at least 2 days before you call. You don’t want to look desperate.”

“No, he doesn’t. They like it when you call the next day. Don’t text.” Yugyeom added.

“Or he can do what he wants because Jaebum is a grown man and he is capable of talking to women on his own.” Ava retorted as she sat down on Youngjae’s lap.

“Thank you, Ava.” Jaebum smiled at her. “I do know I am drunk, and I won’t be as bold tomorrow, so perhaps…I should go home.”

“Yea, we’ll share a cab with you,” Youngjae replied.

The ride home wasn’t long, and Jaebum mostly stared out the window as Ava whispered in Youngjae’s ear, rubbing his hand on her thigh. He smiled at how they were together. She was bolder than Youngjae, but it made him more open as well. As Jaebum got out of the cab to pay his half, he wished them goodnight. The crisp, winter air made him pull his jacket closer to him as he entered the code for his building.

Winter was indeed upon them, and he stumbled on his feet a little, burping. The taste of soju was sharp in his mouth, and he placed a hand on his stomach hoping he didn’t vomit. As he opened the door, the babysitter sat on the couch thumbing through a magazine.

“Thank you HaEun, you can stay the night if you want. I’ll pay you extra, there’s a spare room near Areum’s.” The girl stood up giving a bow.

“It’s ok, I can take a cab.” She placed the magazine down. “Areum was asleep the whole time. She got up for a drink, but she went back to sleep after.”

“Thank you for watching her. Stay inside until it comes and I’ll walk you down then.” He answered her, going to the kitchen for water. Jinyoung was right, he should have drunk some while he was there. He finished two bottles before the cab came, feeling a little better he walked HaEun to the taxi and paid the fare.

Back in the apartment, he took a deep breath and made his way to Areum’s room. The room bathed in a soft pink glow, he spied her laying halfway on her bed. She always slept weird, and he adjusted her body kissing her cheek. Pulling the covers over her once more, he left the door cracked and went to his own room.

As he got ready for bed, he took out his phone and stared at Amina’s phone number. He didn’t know when he would call her and half of him wanted to tomorrow. Maybe the next day but he wasn’t sure. He did want to see her again, but he didn’t want to look desperate either. Plugging the phone in, he turned over in his bed and fell asleep.

Chapter Two

[bloodlinesbabe93]

Welcome To The Undisputed Era ~ Part 2

Tagging:  @thebutterflygirl16 @jerseygirl1290

Mentions of Abuse, Alcohol, Self harm, Kyle being a dick

To say i didn’t sleep well would be an understatement. i kept waking up cold all night. like no matter how hard i tried to warm myself up, it just wouldn’t work. Adam must have noticed, because he woke me up and made me lay in the bed with him. Don’t get me wrong, as attractive as a shirtless Adam is, i was still terrified to be in such close proximity to him. but strangely when he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into his chest, everything felt right. i wasn’t afraid.

“good morning sleeping beauty” he says as my eyes start to open

“good morning” i say quietly

“you okay?” he asks

“yeah, i just didn’t sleep well” i say

“we still have a few hours if you want to go back to sleep” he says

“no its okay” i say trying to sit up

“can i ask you something?” he asks

“yeah” i say

“why are you so shy around us?” he asks

“i’m always shy around new people” i say

“but why do you almost seem afraid?” he asks

“i guess because I've never had the greatest men in my life. i grew up with an alcoholic father who was abusive, and a brother who turned out to be the same way. even dating wise it’s never been good. my last boyfriend a few years ago was extremely abusive. to the point where i almost took my own life” i say. i could feel the tears start rolling down my cheeks.

Adam wraps me in the tightest hug imaginable. “none of us will ever hurt you” he says

“please don’t say anything to the others” i say

“i won’t” he says

There was a loud knock on the door, which made me jump. Adam gets up to answer it. within seconds the guys are all standing in our room. 

“good morning” Kyle says a little too happily for my liking

“it’s too early” i say

“i agree with her” Adam says

“well too bad, get up, we’re going to get food” Kyle says

“i’m not even hungry” i say laying back down

“suit yourself, you coming Adam?” Kyle asks

“yeah give me a few minutes to get ready” Adam says.

Thankfully the guys walked out, leaving Adam and I alone. “you sure you don’t want to eat?” he asks

“yeah, i can’t eat when i first wake up. i usually have to wait a while” i say

he looks at me worriedly

“i promise i’ll eat later” i say. 

“i just don’t want you to starve yourself” he says

“i won’t i promise” i say

he reluctantly agrees to get dressed and ready. i decide to pack and get ready to leave, knowing once the guys returned from breakfast that we would be leaving to head to the arena. we had a mid afternoon show before a 6 hour drive to the next city. 

After Adam left the room, i decided now was my opportunity to get ready. i took a quick shower, and put on a pair of jeans, and my hoodie. i slip on my shoes before sitting in bed. somehow i ended up falling back asleep because i woke up to Adam shaking me awake.

“y/n wake up, we’re leaving” he says

i slowly get out of bed and grab my bags. wheeling them out to the car. Adam being the gentlemen he is puts my bags in the back for me while i slide into the middle seat next to Bobby. once the trunk closes, Adam takes his seat next to me. 

Kyle starts driving us to the arena. 

“alright y/n tonight your job is easy. Keep Nikki Cross out of our match with Sanity” Roddy says

“but be careful, that girl is crazy” Adam warns

“i’m guessing someone knows first hand” i say teasingly

“just distract her somehow” Kyle says

“any ideas?” i ask

“i don’t know pull out something shiny for all i care. just do your job” Roddy says rudely

i look down at my feet, and don’t say another word. i knew it was a mistake the moment i entered the locker room with them last night. Adam is the only one who seems to like me. but he could be lying for all i know. Adam could sense that i was starting to get upset, he grabbed my hand and lightly squeezed it letting me know he was there. 

It was a long drive to the arena. in reality only about 15 minutes, but it felt like so much longer. Once we arrived, i walked with the guys to our locker room, and waited as they got ready for the night. 

“you alright” Adam asks

i shake my head

“wanna go to catering?” he asks

“sure” i say quietly

we walked out of the room, and down the hall to where catering was set up. Adam and I sat at a table in the back

“don’t listen to him. Roddy is a dick sometimes” Adam says

“i noticed” i say

“they just aren’t used to you yet. give them some time” he says

“i know they probably never will like me. so it’s okay i’m used to it” i say

“that’s not true, it just takes Roddy and Kyle longer to come around to new people” he says

“what about you?” i ask

“what do you mean?” he asks

“why were you so nice to me like instantly?” i ask

“well, i’m not a bad guy, i try to make friends with everyone. and when you see a beautiful girl that two of your friends are picking on, you kinda want to show them that not everyone is a complete dick” he says

“you’re the first guys who has ever been legitimately nice to me” i say

“and i’m honored to have that title. its not something i take lightly” he says

for the first time in a while i’m genuinely happy. there’s just something about  Adam that makes me feel safe. 

“you going to eat anything?” he asks

i shake my head

“you need to eat love” he says

“i probably won’t get hungry for a few hours” i say

“you need to eat something before going out, even if its just an apple or something” he says

“you aren’t going to give up are you?” i ask

“nope” he says

“fine” i say getting up and grabbing a bottle of water and an apple before rejoining him at the table. i slowly eat. i hate forcing myself to eat when i’m not hungry. but i knew he was right. not eating before i went out would be a bad idea

“happy now” i say as i finish the last little bit of food i had

“yep” he says

“i hate to say it but you were right. i shouldn’t go out without eating” i say

he smiles. “don’t you know i’m always right?” he says

“i wouldn’t go that far” i say which makes him laugh

“there you two are” Bobby says walking over to us

“hey Bobby” Adam says

“Kyle and Roddy said your match is in 20 minutes and for you to get ready” Bobby says looking at me

“oh great” i say

“don’t worry i’ll punch Roddy if he says something else smart ass” Bobby says

“I've beaten them before and i’ll do it again” Adam says

we walk back to the locker room where they are sitting waiting for me

“about fucking time you show up” Roddy says

“watch it” Bobby warns

“hurry up and get dressed” Kyle says looking pissed off

“you realize all i have to do is put on my shirt right” i say

“i don’t fucking care, get ready” Kyle says

Adam grabs him and shoves him against the wall

“what the fuck is your problem” Adam says

“that little slut is my problem” Kyle says

“ever since she showed up yesterday, our whole team dynamic has changed” Roddy says

“you call her a slut again i will punch you in the throat so hard you won’t be able to talk for a fucking week” Adam says

Bobby attempts to pull Adam off of Kyle, but with him being injured it was harder for him to do.

“alright we’ve got 5 minutes lets go” Roddy says which makes Adam release Kyle

i walk slowly behind them. waiting for us to make our entrance. not wanting to get cornered by them alone. afraid of what they might do. our music hits and they walk out as cocky and confident as ever. i have to act the same cocky and confident. something I've never been. 

They were right about one thing though, Nikki Cross is crazy she and I traded punches on the outside of the ring for a while, before Eric pulled her off of me. i saw that as my opportunity to tackle him and beat the hell out of her once again until referees were attempting to separate us. This distraction led to Kyle being able to roll up Eric and get the victory.

“damn she got you good” Adam says looking at my busted lip

“I've learned to take a beating over the years” i say

“what do you mean” Bobby asks

i look worried, not knowing Bobby was in close enough proxiemity to hear what i said. i sigh before beginning to tell him the same story i told Adam this morning. 

“i don’t know how someone could do something like that to you” he says hugging me tightly 

“i’m just used to it, so it really doesn’t phase me as much anymore” i say

“you shouldn’t be though” Bobby says

“i agree” Adam says

“you don’t have to worry anymore, we will protect you” Bobby says

“please don’t tell anyone” i say to Bobby

“i won’t, i promise” he says

“hey good job kid” Roddy says smacking my back which makes me wince

“hey easy” Bobby says

“sorry” Roddy says

“come on lets get you checked out by the medical staff” Adam says

thankfully it wasn’t anything serious, and i didn’t need stitches. i don’t know what i would have done had i needed stitches. i’m terrified of needles. we walked back to the locker room where Kyle and Roddy were already dressed and ready to go

“we’re gonna head out soon” Bobby says

“give me 5 minutes and i’ll be ready” i say taking my clothes into the bathroom. when i walk out of the bathroom Adam was waiting for me, the others had already gone to the car

“why are you wearing a hoodie when its 80 degrees outside?” Adam asks

“because i’ll be cold in the car” i say

he looks at me worriedly “you don’t self harm do you?” he asks

i slowly nod my head showing him my stomach and wrists.

“please stop” he says wrapping me in a tight hug

“i’ll try” i say quietly

“you ready?” he asks

“yeah” i say throwing my clothes in my suitcase and zipping it up. Adam grabs our bags and wheels them to the car. i once again climb into the middle seat  next to Bobby. 

“aren’t you hot, its 90 degrees in the car” Bobby asks

“a little, but once the air gets going i’ll freeze” i say hoping he buys it. thankfully he does

Adam slides into the seat next to me, and Roddy starts the 6 hour drive to the next city.

About half way through the drive, all the guys start complaining they’re hungry. so we decide to stop for dinner

“what do you guys want?” Kyle asks

“i don’t care” i say

“well i didn’t ask you” Kyle says

“and i don’t care” i say firing back

we decide on going to Cracker Barrel after heavy persuasion from Adam. Thankfully i end up sitting next to Adam and Bobby and as far away from Kyle as possible.

“what are you getting?” Adam asks

“i’m not sure, i’m not super hungry” i say

“how can you not be hungry? you haven’t eaten today” Bobby asks

“i had an apple earlier before going out with them” i say defensively

“oh wow an apple” Kyle says sarcastically

“some of the medications i’m on keep me from eating a lot” i say

“what kind of medications are you on?” Adam asks

“anxiety, depression, and there’s another one that i don’t want to talk about” i say

“oh cry me a river” Kyle says

“Kyle don’t be a dick” Adam warns

“why are you on so many different medications for depression and anxiety? you’re so young” Roddy asks

“its not something i feel comfortable talking about” i say

Adam and Bobby knew the reasoning. but i was afraid to open up to Roddy. 

i end up ordering a burger and fries, basically to shut them up. knowing i’d only eat maybe half of it. of course they all order 10 course meals, and end up eating their food before i was halfway done with mine.

“dang you eat slow” Adam says

“i told you i’m not hungry” i say

“she’s just doing it for attention” Kyle says

“dude will you back off” Bobby says

“drop the tough guy act” Roddy says

i finish eating and let the guys eat what i didn’t finish

“finally, i want to get to the hotel” Kyle says

“i mean we could let you walk the rest of the way” Adam says

“yeah, i’m fine with driving” Roddy says

“guys be nice” i say

“why, he isn’t nice to you, so why should we not just leave his ass” Bobby says

“dude if i weren’t nice to the people who were mean to me i’d literally be a bigger dick than him” i say

“that’s impossible” Roddy says

“trust me, i could be the meanest person ever, but I've chose to be nice to those who have hurt me” i say

“you’re a much better person that i could ever be” Roddy says as we get up and start walking out to the car.

“whose driving?” Kyle asks

“i will” Roddy says

“you wanna switch seats” Adam asks

“no i’m okay” i say

“you sure?” he asks

“yeah, i don’t mind the middle, i’m small enough to fit” i say

“i mean you are a whole 5 feet tall and a hundred pounds soaking wet” he teases

“i am not, i’m 5′1 thank you very much and 130 pounds” i say teasing him

“oh wow a whole inch” he says

“sorry i’m short i can’t help that” i say

“i’m just teasing” he says

“oh i know, short people rule. i’m the greatest at hide and seek” i say which makes them laugh

“are you 5″ Kyle asks

“nope i’m 12 remember?” i say which makes them laugh harder

“how old are you actually?” Roddy asks

“how old do i look? and don’t say 12 or i will smack you” i say

“like 23?” Roddy says

“22″ Bobby says

“24″ Adam says

“damn, i’m older than you guys think, i’m 25″ i say

“still not old by any means though” Bobby says

“i know” i say

“i don’t believe you’re 25″ Kyle says

“July 6, 1992. so i’m almost 26″ i say

“dude my birthday is July 5″ Adam says 

“i still don’t believe you” Kyle says

“maybe you guys were right. we should have left his ass” i say

“told you” Adam says

the rest of the ride was pretty quiet, Adam decided to room with me again and i was thankful, as long as i’m with him or Bobby i’m okay. i’m still not exactly trusting of Roddy yet. and Kyle is a dick. This time out room had 2 beds, but i really wanted to cuddle with Adam again. it was the only time today i felt safe.

“which bed do you want?” he asks

“um can we share a bed again? i felt safe with you last night” i say shyly

“of course, i was hoping you'd say that” he says

Adam gets goes into the bathroom while i quickly change into sweatpants, once he comes out i go into brush my teeth and wash my face. 

I never knew how safe you could feel being in someone’s arms. Adam made me feel special, loved, he made sure i was okay and comfortable. I've also never fallen asleep faster than i did tonight laying in his arms. it was simply perfect

[jonhaight-blog]

Sam Adams

Holy horse tits, it’s 4:17am on a Saturday night and I’m writing another one of these fucking Tumblr diary thingy’s.

Quick sidenote; I wonder if people think my whole life is a very lonely melancholy ordeal of sadness and misery? Soley based on these post anyway, if they know nothing about me which is most likely the case since I don’t share these on private social media accounts (Is the redundant?). 

Alright, rant starts now:

Okay it’s 4 fuckin AM. I already said that. So, I’m onto my second 6 pack of beer, just getting done discussing the intricacies of animation and film with my friend over discord while drunk. Now, as that was happening I see her on Discord, getting on Overwatch. I don’t think much of it, until she gets off (She/her being the ex I can’t seem to get over for various reasons that I’ve described in previous posts) so I decide to message her something stupid since she was playing Overwatch all day. Wait, I need to explain something before I get into this. 

So, I had an “incident” the other night. And by that I mean, like, I had an episode where I was seriously missing her hard core to put it simply. So bad, that I messaged another one of my friends to bitch about it real quick and be done with it and one of her friends who that friend is dating currently but I also bitch to her about it most of the time. They’re on the up and up so it’s cool, since they’re practically the same person and tell each other everything. So anyway, that night, my roommate says he has 2 free tickets to this music festival going on downtown so I’m like, “Fuck yeah, let’s go”. So we go, have a good time and it’s all Gucci right? As we’re leaving, I get 15 messages on Discord, from her. 

I’m like, “what the fuck?” I’m kinda drunk at this point since it was a beer festival thing. I read them and it’s her ranting about her family (Which is nothing new cuz her parents are awful people) so we start kinda talking about that slightly. I don’t think much of it, but eventually she stops responding, which she normally does after 10 minutes so I’m used to it. Here’s the thing though, it made me feel like I was relevant to her a little bit again. Like, it made me feel like she needed me like she did before, but only a little. Later on, I see a snap she posts, it’s a selfie saying, “looking cute af” which she was. Here’s the thing that got me. . . It wasn’t her house or room. 

At that point, everything that I had been fighting off till that point hit me like a fucking train. I know, it’s sad that even now, the emotions are just as strong but god damn did that fucking hurt, like having your balls in a vice grip kinda hurt. At that point, I need to talk to someone about what i was thinking, such as, “Where was she?? Who was she with?? What was she doing?? Does she still love me??” 

I message my friend and his girlfriend, because I just needed someone who wouldn’t give me a ‘solution’ but someone who could listen and give some type of response that made me feel like they gave a shit. And I had my rant, her friend told me where she was, even though I already knew, and it passed. Which brings us to current time. 

Back to now; it’s 4am, I’m like a 6 pack and a half down. I see she’s on Overwatch. I message her saying, “How can she play Overwatch all day then jump back on like 4 hours later?” Just being a sarcastic ass like I am, not meaning much from it or being a real dick about it, I think at least. Anyway, she says she can’t sleep so I ask if everything is okay. Her response, “I don’t really feel social right now”. Well, this feels like a 6 month old gag. . . 

I’m pissed, I wanna throw shit back cuz I’m sick of being an afterthought and I hate realizing that she treats me no different than when we were together. I’m tryina start something. I say to her, “Do you ever feel like being social with me in particular anymore?” Her response, “I don’t really feel social right now” I concede, it’s not worth it. It’s already been 3 months, it’s over. 

20 minutes later. . .

She messages again. “It’s not just you, there are other people I just don’t feel social towards, plenty of others” 

. . . . . . Oh, now that’s a free shot and I’m not just gonna sit here with my thumb up my ass and not take it. . .

My response, “ Yeah, I know. But then again, I’ve always felt like I’ve been grouped in with ‘Plenty of others’ for a while now so it’s nothing new”

I’m so livid because that was about 7 minutes ago that I decided to make that response and just fire back because, either way, she will never discuss this, or really talk to me and she doesn’t talk to me now anyways so what do I have to lose right? 

Fuck it, I’m not gonna sit here and be treated like I’m some average joe to her when we were in a 10 month relationship. 

I’m not an afterthought