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The Psychology of Love (Part 16)
The Balcony
Word count: 7.9k
Warnings: thigh riding, semi-public sex, slight exhibitionism, mommy kink, fingering, oral sex, praise kink, degradation kink, spanking, oral fixation
The other side of the bed is empty when you wake up to the sound of waves crashing against the shore and sunlight streaming in through the cracked-open blinds on the French doors.Â
You groan and stretch and roll over to check the time on the clock sitting on the nightstand. A quarter past nine. You canât remember the last time you slept through the entire night and woke up this late.Â
The plush carpet is soft against your bare feet as you pad across the room to the bathroom. Youâre still naked from last night and the sight of the tub makes your cheeks heat up.Â
It had started out as you both relaxing there after sexâyou laying on Agatha, your back on her front, while you soaked in the warm water. It felt nice for your stiff joints after kneeling on the ground for so long.Â
But then Agathaâs left hand had snuck between your legs again and made quick work of the mess between them, two fingers buried inside you with her thumb on your clit.Â
She had tilted your head to the side with her other hand and sunk her teeth into the spot right below your jawline on a particularly hard thrust and you had barely gotten âMommy, can I come?â out of your mouth before you spasmed all over her fingers. Luckily, she said you could.Â
Looking in the mirror now, you get a thrill from the marks on your throat and chest and on your inner thighs. You trace over them with a featherlight touch and it makes you shiver.Â
Agatha really did a number on you.Â
Your toothbrush rests in the holder right next to hersâdid you put it there last night?âand it looks like it belongs there. The domesticity of it all tugs at your heartstrings but you push it down and brush your teeth while you examine yourself more in the mirror.Â
Thereâs a certain glow to your skin, a bright sheen in your eyes. You look different, almost. As if having sex with Agatha somehow changed your appearance. Foolishly, you start to worry that other people might notice.Â
You spit the toothpaste into the sink and rinse your mouth out. A smirk spreads across your lips when you stand back up straight.Â
Part of you hopes they do.Â
The duffel bag you packed is still resting on the floor by the closet, right where you dropped it yesterday. You dig through it and find a short, sky blue, silk dress and pull it over your head, not bothering to put anything underneath. It hangs loose from your body, the cowl neck dips low on your chest, and the slight sunburn on your shoulders is visible.Â
The clothes you had on yesterday that Agatha threw somewhere in the room as she took them off you are neatly folded on top of the dresser across from the bed. A warm feeling spreads through you and the desire to see your professor becomes too great.Â
You open the door to the bedroom and walk out down the small hallway into the living room. Agatha isnât there or in the kitchen, but the sound of the ocean is much clearer in here.Â
It doesnât take you long to realize why.Â
The sliding glass door is slid open, just a bit, and you go toward it and peer through. Agatha is sitting outside in a padded blue deck chair, the breeze tossing her hair over, while she types on her laptop. Thereâs a stack of papers on the end table next to her.Â
She doesnât look up when you push the door open and step out, but maybe she canât hear it. The smell of salt hits you while you take in your professor. Sheâs wearing a white, long-sleeve, button down shirt and jean shorts and your cunt starts to throb just from seeing her.Â
Memories of last night whirl around your brain in a blurâAgatha leaning over you while she was fucking you with three fingers, her mouth on your clit, you sucking on her tits, you on your knees for her.Â
Mommyâs going to comeâoh, fuckâplease.
You almost stumble on the wood deck and now she looks up. She gives you an easy smirk that turns hungry once she takes you all in.Â
âGood morning, honey,â she purrs. You murmur it back to her.Â
The balcony is set up well with two of the chairs like the one Agathaâs sitting in, a small table in front of her and two matching end tables on each side of a chair, and a gray knit rug underneath.Â
You could sit in the chair beside her, but you walk in front of her and carefully sit criss-cross on the rug, facing the ocean, and you rest your cheek against the outside of her right thigh.Â
A quick glance up at her laptop shows a gradebook, and you see your name, along with others that must be your classmates.Â
Agathaâs hand strokes through your hair and you sigh happily. With her touching you like that, the sunlight, and the view of the beach, you could stay like this all day.Â
âItâs no real surprise, but you definitely got the highest grade in the class,â Agatha says with a snort. She sounds proud and you turn your head to press a kiss to her leg. Her fingers tighten in your hair, just barely, but enough for you to notice. You smile to yourself, loving the effect you have on her.Â
âWhat was the lowest?â you ask, just for fun.Â
Without even looking up, you know that sheâs smirking again. âSo far? A fifty-three.âÂ
A laugh tears itself out of your throat before you can stop it. âOh my god,â you exclaim and Agatha chuckles above you. âThat is justâŚbad. It wasnât even that hard.âÂ
âWell,â she hums, âit probably wouldâve been hard if you hadnât studied. We covered a lot and most of your classmates donât pay attention in class. Theyâre usually on their computers and they donât look up once during the lecture so I wouldnât be surprised if theyâre just watching a movie.âÂ
Thereâs not much you can say about that, because youâve certainly been guilty of doing that before. The biology class you took your freshman year? Youâre pretty sure you skipped more than you went, and when you did go, you were doing a crossword puzzle or online shopping.Â
âOh, I havenât noticed.âÂ
Agatha gently tugs on your hair, pulling your head back, and you meet her bright blue eyes. âThatâs because youâre too busy staring at your professor.â
Thereâs no use denying that, but it sparks the familiar heat in your core. Arousal courses through your veins and your breath hitches. Itâs unfair how easy you are for her.
She recognizes the look on your face and raises an eyebrow teasingly. âReally? Already so needy for mommy again?âÂ
A gasp stutters from your chest and you nod, hazy fog already settling in your brain. Youâre hungry, so hungry for her, and you can already feel the stickiness between your legs.Â
Agatha lets go of your hair to lean forward and put her laptop on the coffee table and then pats her thighs with a heavy sigh. But the twinkle in her eye that you catch when you eagerly stand up shows you that sheâs all too willing to give you what you need.Â
She sits back further in the chair and you straddle her legs, one of her thighs between yours so you can press against her core too, and you hike your dress up just enough so the fabric doesnât hinder you.Â
When you sit down and she feels the wet heat from your unrestricted cunt, Agatha gasps and her hands fly to your waist. âSo fucking naughty,â she tuts. âYouâre just such a slut for mommy, arenât you?â
The degradation gets to you as much as the praise does and you bite your lip and nod. Agathaâs chest flares and she starts to guide your movements.Â
The first drag of your clit against her thigh makes you keen loudly and Agathaâs eyes flash warningly.Â
âGot to be quiet, baby,â she says mockingly. âThereâs people on the beach below us. Donât want them to know how desperate you are for me.âÂ
In the sliding glass door, you can see the reflection of the shoreline. You can see the couple walking hand-in-hand, you can see the group of men huddled around a cooler, you can see the older woman sunbathing. Agathaâs condo is right on the beach; if you are too loud, they could easily look up and see you riding her thigh right now.Â
âI donât care,â you gasp, at least semi-truthfully, and your hips jerk, smearing more of your wetness on her skin. Agatha lets out a quiet groan, either at the feeling or your admission.Â
âOh, yeah?â she asks, grabbing your chin with one hand to make you look at her. Your unfocused eyes meet her dark ones and another thrill runs through you. You buck frantically against her thigh to relieve the throbbing ache inside you and Agatha smiles dangerously. âUse your words, honey.âÂ
It takes you a moment to collect your thoughts because of how good her strong muscles feel against you. The tension travels to your lower back and up your spine and you grab onto her shoulders to gain more leverage.Â
Sheâs still looking at you expectantly and you know that you would tell her anything right now.Â
âIâm a slut for you, mommy,â you agree, a loud whine ripping from your throat. Agathaâs breath catches and she looks up at you with a revering awe. âLet them see. Let them see who I belong to.âÂ
Her lips are on yours the moment you finish talking, furious and passionate, the kiss full of teeth, tongue, and possession, and she bites at your bottom lip before both hands grab your waist again and grind you down hard against her leg. You moan into her mouth, rocking your hips in time with her movements, and you wonder if she can feel your clit pulsing.Â
âGet up,â she growls against you. You scramble up out of her lap and she follows, dragging you in for another kiss, and you step toward the door, but she pushes you forward.Â
Your back hits the rail of the balcony.Â
âWhatâ?â you ask, chest heaving, lips swollen.Â
Agatha stalks toward you and puts her arms on each side of your body, effectively trapping you. âYou wanted them to see,â she reminds you and then turns you around so your stomach is pressed against the railing. Your body reacts viscerally; a harsh sound falls from your mouth, your skin burns, and more wetness seeps from your throbbing cunt.Â
Her hands slowly push your dress over your ass and you situate yourself so that your forearms are resting on top of the railing and your back is arched, giving your professor a clear look at your soaked pussy.Â
She traces a pattern on your asscheek until you realize with a jolt that sheâs outlining her hand print. It must still be there from Thursday.Â
And then she spanks you again and you jerk forward with a gasp. It stings because of the still-bruised skin, but it settles right in your cunt and only makes the heat inside you burn brighter.Â
No one on the beach has looked up yet, but thereâs the all too present knowledge that they could. At any point, they could glance up and see you bent over the balcony with your professorâs fingers buried inside you.Â
âMommy, please,â you whine, pushing your ass back even more. Sheâs still touching your ass, but when you make your plea, Agatha chuckles and ghosts two fingers over your slit. You moan and your head drops forward, only to be lifted back up by Agathaâs hand in your hair.Â
âLook at them,â she hisses in your ear, fingers fully against your pussy now. âYouâre going to keep looking at them and youâre going to show them how good of a girl you can be for me, arenât you?âÂ
âYes,â you choke out.Â
The touch against your cunt is gone and the same hand smacks your ass not a second later. âYes, who?âÂ
âYes, mommy,â you gasp.Â
Agatha leans forward so her whole body is pressed against yours and then bites the top of your shoulder blade. You shiver and let out a pathetic whimper and you feel her smile against your skin.Â
And then she sinks two fingers inside you and your mouth drops open with an obscene moan. Your walls clench around her tightly and you quickly cover your mouth but she tugs your hand away.Â
âWhatâs wrong?â she taunts, setting a bruising pace inside you straight away. âDonât want them to hear you? I thought you wanted to show them what a slut you are. Youâre taking mommyâs fingers like such a good girl, you know.â
If anyone sees, youâll both be in so much trouble. This could be how you get caught and Agatha could lose her jobâbut she doesn't seem too concerned with that right now.Â
She twists her fingers roughly, filling you perfectly, and tingles dance up your spine. Itâs too good and you have to bite your bottom lip to keep from crying out.Â
The couple that was walking on the beach strolls into the water. Another woman joins the one sunbathing. The men start to throw a football around. None of them have any idea that three stories above them, youâre getting fucked.Â
You can feel wetness running down your thighs and you begin to push yourself back on her fingers, making them go deeper inside you. Agatha makes a noise when you start moving and she curls her fingers harshly. A moan tumbles from your lips before you can catch it and she huffs from behind you.Â
âFuck, youâre so desperate,â she groans, but thereâs not a hint of exasperation in her voice. âSo desperate for mommy that youâd let me fuck you anywhere, wouldnât you? Even if people were watching?âÂ
âYes, fuck,â you gasp and she thrusts harder. You canât get a second to breathe and youâre panting, mind completely blank except for Agatha.Â
She spanks you with her other hand and you jump.Â
Thereâs a new group of people walking onto the beach right below you. All you can do is hope that the ocean drowns out your sounds.Â
âYouâre making such a mess for me,â Agatha coos and you knowâyou can feel it too.Â
But to emphasize it, she pulls out of your cunt, making you whimper at the sudden emptiness, and then she spanks you hard with that same hand. It makes a wet slap and when she pulls away, your ass is sticky.Â
She presses her body even closer against you and snakes her hand around your front to effortlessly find your clit. She rubs it and you moan, sparks skating under your skin.Â
The waves are crashing harder now, breaking furiously on the shore, and spitting mist up. You feel it collect on your bare arms and you can taste the salt. It mixes with the scent of her perfume and makes the coffee, vanilla, and spice even more distinct. You inhale it deeply and Agathaâs finger swipes your clit roughly.Â
âLook at them,â she croons from behind you, only this time, itâs not an order, itâs an observation. âSo oblivious to you being such a slut. Thatâs good.âÂ
She pushes two fingers back into you with her other hand so she can keep toying with your clit. Her strokes are languid and lazy, a stark contrast to the frantic bucking of your hips to try to get more stimulation. Your body is stiffening with the little pleasure youâre getting and you bite your lip again, chewing at the peeled skin thatâs already there.Â
Agatha rests her head on your shoulder so she can whisper into your ear. âThey donât get to see you like this. Only I do. You know why?â
You shake your head, silently begging for more. Tears begin to prick the corners of your eyes from her dragging it out. Her fingers move slowly out of you and then they inch back inside you. The light touches to your clit are just barely enough to make your nerves light up, but you need more.Â
âBecause,â she says, punctuating it with a sharp thrust, âyouâre mine.â You stifle your moan and she sets a bruising pace, finally, and you feel the taste of copper fill your mouth. âYouâre mommyâs good girl. Youâre mommyâs slut. Only I can make you feel this good.âÂ
âYesâfuckâonly you,â you cry out and she roughly circles your clit. âPlease, mommy.âÂ
Youâre getting closer, the pleasure fraying your mind, and all you can do is mumble intelligently, asking for more. She grunts behind you with the effort and when your head drops to rest on your forearms again, she doesn't say anything. You pick your leg up and rest your foot on the bottom piece of the railing, giving her just a little more room to work with, and youâre instantly rewarded when her fingers enter a new depth they couldnât get from the previous angle.Â
Sheâs so deep, youâre so full, and the tension is spreading throughout your entire body. You canât control it, you canât hold it back any longerâ
And she knows.
âBeg for it,â Agatha says in a dangerous, low voice. âYou donât have permission yet.â
A tear drops from your eye and runs down your cheek, mixing with the saltiness from the ocean. âPlease, mommy, let me come, I need itâI need you, fuck, it feels so good, can I come?â you whimper and you can almost hear her smiling.Â
She bends down to scrape her teeth along the strap of your dress, thrusts hard, curls her fingers, and rubs against that spot inside you. It steals your breath away and you whine pleadingly. Itâs going to happen, youâre trying to fight it but you canât.Â
âCome for me, honey,â Agatha says and you let the flood of pleasure wash you away. Your walls convulse around her fingers, the tension in your body finally alleviated, and your mind goes white for a few seconds.Â
More people are starting to walk onto the beach and Agatha quickly slows down her thrusts before pulling out of you completely and tugging down your dress. You take a moment to recover before turning around to face her.Â
Her eyes are dark with blown-out pupils and the same red tinge from last night in her cheeks is there. Her jaw is clenched, forehead vein throbbing, and your mouth waters at the thought of hopefully getting to taste her again.Â
She holds up her fingers and you eagerly take them into your mouth, moaning at the taste of yourself, and her breathing grows heavier the more you suck at them.Â
You have quite the oral fixation, donât you, honey?
Just for her, you think.Â
âWe couldâve gotten caught,â you tell her once she pulls her fingers out of your mouth, like she wasn't aware of that.Â
Agatha winks. âI knew youâd be quiet.â As you open your mouth to say something else, she kisses you sweetly. You melt into her and she pulls back just enough to murmur, âIt wouldâve been okay. Mommy wouldâve taken care of it.â
It makes you feel better, even though you have no idea how she would do that, but her hands stroke up and down your arms, pushing all other thoughts from your head.
âI was thinking that once I finish grading these papers, we could go into town and get breakfast? And then we can spend the afternoon at the beach?â Agatha says.Â
âCan I, umââ you swallow and she raises an eyebrow teasingly, âI want to taste you.â Your voice has dropped to a rasp and your professor bites her lip hungrily.Â
She examines your face and tucks a piece of hair behind your ear before leaning in. Her lips are only a breath away from yours. âHow about we go inside and you get on your knees for meââ your breath hitches and she smirks, âand if you make me come before I finish putting these grades in, Iâll give you another reward tonight.âÂ
Youâre nodding before her words even register and Agatha gives you a Cheshire-cat grin. She grabs her laptop and the stack of papers and slides open the door and you look back at the ocean one last time before following.Â
Agatha walks over to the kitchen table and drops her stuff before unzipping her shorts. Youâre still in a daze and you groan as she slides them down her legs. Even though she was naked in front of you yesterday, itâs like seeing her for the first time. She has blue cotton underwear underneath and she leaves them on when she sits down in the chair that she pulls out.Â
You fall to your knees, even though youâre by the couch. Agathaâs chest heaves as you start to crawl to her, not even registering the burn in your knees, and she scooches the chair back against the wood floors to give you space to get under the table.Â
She moves to the edge of the seat and you can already see the dampness on the gusset of her underwear. Your breaths come out ragged.Â
âIs this for me?â you rasp, but it doesnât sound as confident as when she says it.Â
Agatha doesnât answer, just reaches down to move her panties to the side, revealing her swollen folds. You can see strands of clear liquid smeared around her lips and you feel your body start to overheat. Her clit peeks out and your mouth waters. âYou donât have very long,â she warns, shifting above you to grab a paper.Â
You can hear her typing on her laptop when you drag your tongue through her cunt for the first time. Her taste fills your mouth and you moan involuntarily. Her thighs tensen around you, but she doesn't make a noise.Â
She scribbles something on the paper and you enclose your lips around her clit, rolling it under your tongue, and then you suck. Agathaâs hips jerk and she gives a muffled cough, but she keeps grading. Sheâs so unaffected that it turns you on and makes you all the more desperate to get her to lose composure.Â
You start to lap at her clit, making sounds of your own right against her pussy, and she shudders. One particular hard lick has her gasping and you hear the slight crinkle of paper. It makes a thrill run up your spine.Â
Agatha is getting wetterâyou can feel the slickness on your face again and you close your eyes to fully immerse yourself in her cunt. You suck on her folds and whimper at the squelching sounds it elicits and her hips start to roll just a bit, like sheâs really trying to restrain her reactions.Â
Her keyboard clicks and she goes back to writing on someoneâs paper. She tries to close her thighs, either on purpose or unknowingly, but you hold them open with your hands.Â
You lick up inside of her, as deep as you can, and Agatha whimpers. She swears under her breath and you do it again.Â
One of her hands entangles in your hair and her writing sounds like itâs gotten messier. You go back to suckling at her clit and position a finger at her entrance.Â
She pulls on your hair and you take it as a go-ahead.Â
Her walls clench around you as you begin sliding your middle finger into her and you keen. Sheâs slick and wet and so fucking hot, and you dig the nails of your other hand into her skin.Â
âFuck,â she says and you curl it slowly, looking for her g-spot while you keep tonguing at her clit. You find it and she lets out a high-pitched noise.Â
Your wrist starts to burn from the angle but you pick up your pace, fucking into her and sucking at her clit, because her legs are trembling and her noises are less restrained.Â
âI only have three more,â she says in a taut voice and you push another finger into her. Her walls grip your fingers, trying to pull them in deeper, and her wetness is slipping down your hand. She spasms around you on a hard thrust and her clit pulses against your tongue.Â
Agathaâs hand tightens in your hair and yanks on it and you hiss at the sting. It travels right down to your cunt and you dig your nails into her thigh harder, revealing in her moan.Â
âFuck, honey,â she says quietly, jerking her hips, and she squeezes around you. âYouâre going to make mommy come.â
You whimper against her cunt and she gasps at the reverberations.Â
All sounds other than yours and hers have ceasedâshe isnât writing or typing anything anymore.Â
Good.Â
Her thighs stiffen around you, her breathing is labored, and the grip she has on your hair almost becomes painful.Â
âRight there, sweetheart,â she moans and you curl your fingers quickly. âOhâgod.âÂ
Agatha groans as she convulses around your fingers, coming all over your mouth and hand, and you keep lapping at her while you gently move your fingers. Her body jerks and her legs shudder but youâre pulling more sounds from her so you donât want to stop.Â
âBaby, baby, please,â she pants and you finally sit back on your heels, your tongue lasciviously licking her wetness from your lips. She groans when you slide your fingers out and she grabs your wrist to bring your arm up so she can clean you off.Â
Her hot mouth around your fingers makes your eyes widen and your mouth drop open and she gives you a sultry wink before letting them go.Â
You surge up, straddling her just like you were doing earlier, and kiss her ferociously, letting her taste herself even more on your tongue that sweeps into her mouth. She sucks on your bottom lip and then nips at it and your arms cross over the back of her neck to get closer.Â
Youâre content to stay there all day, never mind grading or the beach or anything else, but then your stomach grumbles.Â
Agatha breaks the kiss with a laugh and pats your hips. âShould we go get some breakfast?â she asks and you nod sheepishly. âWhy donât you freshen up, Iâll finish up these exams, and then weâll go?âÂ
Although you hate to leave her lap, the promise of food is appealing. You stand up onto shaky legs, but not before kissing her one more time. âDonât forget about the reward,â you remind her and she smirks before playfully slapping your ass.Â
In the bathroom, a wave of pleasure washes through you when you see the glistening on the lower half of your face in the mirror. Agatha. Youâre covered with her. You barely recognize the wild eyes in the reflection in front of you and you take a deep breath.Â
Thereâs something still so surreal about this, like at any moment, it could all get taken away and youâll wake up in your dorm room with Wanda right across from you.Â
But you hear Agatha humming something to herself in the other room and you meet the eyes of the reflection.Â
They look more like yours now.Â
You splash some water on your face, reluctantly cleaning off the proof of Agathaâs arousal from it, and then dry yourself off with the washcloth. You grab the bottle of Good Girl and spritz yourself and then slide your sandals onto your feet.Â
With one last look in the mirror, you nod approvingly and go back out to the living room.Â
Agatha inhales when you perch on the edge of the table next to her, smelling the almonds, cocoa, and flowers. She smirks knowingly without even looking up at you. Sheâs sadly put her underwear and shorts back on and you wonder how long sheâll keep them on for.Â
Hopefully once you get back from breakfast, not for long.Â
You watch her work for a few minutes, dragging her red pen down the pages of the exam, making quick work of counting the number of wrong questions and then inputting the score into her laptop. Youâre definitely not supposed to be watching this and seeing what your classmates got, but Agatha isnât going to say anything.
It wouldnât be the first rule youâve broken either.Â
âAll right, you ready?â she asks, closing her laptop, and smiling up at you. You nod and she pushes back her chair to stand up and walk to her room.Â
She comes back a moment later with flip flops on and she grabs her keys before stopping. You bite your lip while she works something out in her head.Â
âHow about we bring the beach stuff so we can just go right there after eating?â she offers.Â
âOhâyeah, that sounds good,â you say.Â
Agatha grabs a tote bag and throws two towels, sunscreen, and a swimsuit into it while you grab your two-piece to put on now because you still donât have anything underneath. The purple bottoms are rather skimpy and you canât wait to see Agathaâs reaction to them. The black top ties around your back and around your neck and is also more on the scandalous side, showing a good amount of your cleavage.Â
With any luck, the two of you will end up in the same position as you were yesterday night in the water, but this time, she wonât even bother bringing you back to the condo before fucking you.Â
Can that be your reward?
If only there was a nude beach around here.Â
She eyes you suspiciously when you come out of the bathroom looking a bit too excited, but doesnât say anything. She shrugs the bag over her shoulder and leads you out of the condo and to the elevator. Thereâs a soreness in your body but you drink it in because itâs a physical reminder of what happened.Â
People step to the side to let you both in when the doors open and you immediately stiffen because you and your professor are together.Â
But they donât even give you second glances and youâre able to relax a little. These people donât know who you are. They donât know that you being here with Agatha is dangerous.
The back of her hand brushes against the back of yours and the touch is enough to be reassuring. Even if you long for the day where youâll be able to hold her hand without fear of being caught, youâll take what you can get for right now.Â
After all, what you have behind closed doors is more than enough to keep you satisfied.Â
The doors slide open on the ground floor and Agatha puts a hand on your lower back to guide you out, making you shiver from the casual dominance. She exudes it and you find yourself sinking further and further into it, letting yourself get wrapped up in it. In her.Â
âFeel like walking?â she asks, already steering you away from her car and to the boardwalk where it seems like forever ago that you were walking back from dinner with her. âItâs not that far.âÂ
You happily agree. The sun is bright but not too hot on your skin, the seagull calls fill the air along with the waves and the happy whoops from people on the beach, and the fresh air fills your lungs. You canât remember the last time you felt so free. College feels so far away and youâre already dreading having to go back tomorrow.Â
âPenny for your thoughts?â she asks, looking sideways at you. Sheâs walking with her hands in her pockets while you fiddle with your fingers.Â
You shrug. âThink we could just stay here forever?âÂ
Agatha snorts but then smiles. âThat would be nice, wouldnât it?â You chuckle and duck your head, thrilled that sheâs indulging you.Â
âJust you, me, and the ocean. And your bed, of course,â you add and Agatha tosses back her head with a laugh. The breeze blows her hair into your face and it smells like Black Opium.Â
âAnd the balcony,â she says with a smirk and your cheeks grow hot. âAnd the kitchen chairs. And the bath. We havenât gotten to the couch yet, but weâve got time.âÂ
With each step you take, you can feel the throbbing between your legs grow, can feel the slickness coating your upper thighs.Â
The smirk on her face is wicked and she steps closer to casually bump against you. âYou know what I really want to do?â Agatha murmurs and you raise a shaky hand at the couple that walks by you. âI want to bend you over the sink in my bathroom and make you watch yourself get fucked so you can see how pretty you look when mommy ruins you.âÂ
You have to grab onto her bicep before your knees buckle. She simpers and keeps walking, practically pulling you along, and that thought blocks anything else from coming in.Â
Itâs hard to remember how to speak, but you eventually choke out, âIs that my reward?âÂ
She presses a quick kiss to your cheek after looking around to make sure no one is watching. âThat could be part of it.â You think your professor might be just a little evil for how much she enjoys toying with you.Â
Itâs close to ten-thirty when you get to the breakfast restaurant, but itâs not too crowded. Itâs a small, cozy place with some chairs outside, umbrellas shielding the table from the sun. Steps lead up to the main entrance and a lime green awning hangs over it.Â
âGood morning, how many?â the host asks when you stop in front of him and Agatha answers for you. He grabs two menus and gestures for you to follow him. He leads you to a table in the back and you both thank him before sitting down.Â
Almost immediately, a waiter comes over to take your drink orders. Agatha orders a coffee and you get a lemonade.Â
The menu is a lot easier to take in here than the restaurant last night, so when the waiter comes back with your drinks only a minute later, youâre able to order for yourself. Agatha gets poached eggs on avocado and feta toast while you get the two-egg breakfast with bacon and potatoes. He takes your menus and walks away.Â
âThis is a neat place,â you say, looking around at all the vintage records on the wall.Â
Agatha snorts. âDo you even recognize any of these bands?âÂ
Your cheeks heat up and you grab your glass of lemonade, sliding it toward you. âSome of them,â you retort, taking your straw between your teeth and chewing on it. A question is weighing on your mind but youâre not sure if you should ask it.Â
She must be able to tell because she raises an eyebrow at you. There must be something specific about your silence when you want to say somethingâyouâre not surprised she picked up on it.Â
âDoes it bother you?â you ask timidly, stirring the straw in your drink. Agatha hums, prompting you to go on. âI mean, like, the age difference.â Your stomach twists and you look down so you donât have to meet her eyes.Â
Agatha places her hand onto the table and slides it so itâs on your side, just inches from your fingers. She sighs heavily and takes it back to ruffle her hair, like sheâs figuring out how to respond. âIt doesn't bother me,â she says finally and relief whooshes through you. âItâs just complicated right now with me being your professor. This has to stay a secret, okay?âÂ
âI know,â you say empathically. âI promise. I donât want you to get in trouble.âÂ
She gives you a wry smile and clears her throat. âIt is exciting, having a pretty young thing that will do anything I ask.âÂ
Heat ignites in your core and you squirm in the chair.Â
âYou would, wouldnât you?â she presses, fire dancing in her eyes. In this light, their color looks almost more gray and youâre once again reminded just how beautiful she is.Â
âYes, mommy,â you answer, mouthing the last word, and thereâs no missing her shiver. You donât think sheâd protest if you were to drag her to the bathroom right now because you can feel the liquid pooling in your underwear and you think she might be feeling the same.Â
You want her to test it, want her to ask you to get on your knees right now for her.
Thereâs a good chance you wouldnât be able to say no.Â
But she just leans back in her chair, seemingly satisfied with your response. âYouâre such a good girl, you know that, right?âÂ
âAgatha, please,â you whisper, needing her to either stop the teasing or take you somewhere to fuck you because your clit is aching.Â
She bites her lip, like she wants to see how far she can push you. âWhatâs wrong, baby girl?âÂ
A sharp gasp rips itself from you and you grip the table, giving her a pleading look. She chuckles and picks up a packet of sugar, rips it open, and dumps it into her coffee.Â
âYouâre too easy,â she says with a smug smirk, and it should embarrass you, but youâre also too far gone for her. She has you wrapped around your fingers and she fully knows itâshe loves it.Â
She didnât even really have to condition you that much, if thatâs what she was doing, because you did most of the work yourself.Â
And that thought turns you on so much more than it should.Â
But when Agatha gives you that look, the one that says sheâs ready to risk it all, how can you not be okay with it?Â
The waiter comes back with your food, way quicker than you were expecting, and puts your plates down in front of you. Your scrambled eggs look perfect, your bacon is crisp and smells delicious, and your potatoes look crunchy.Â
Agathaâs food looks good too, the poached egg resting on top of the mix of avocado and feta cheese that covers a piece of bread.Â
You pick up your fork and begin scooping your eggs into your mouth when Agathaâs foot touches your ankle. She leaves it there, just resting, and you donât think much of it until she flexes her toes against your skin.Â
She smiles sweetly when you choke on egg, bits of yellow flying from your mouth.Â
She starts to neatly cut her food, unaffected and completely composed, while her foot slowly skims up the inside of your shin. You can feel the coarse fabric of her flip flop and you put all your focus into eating.Â
Her foot slides back down and lies against your ankle and you shoot her a look before eating as quickly as you can before she starts again.Â
She doesnât move again, but the anticipation is there, just hanging over, like a sword that could fall at any moment. Itâs a simple touch, nothing special at all, definitely nothing that warrants how youâre reacting, but just having Agathaâs skin against yours is enough to distract you.Â
And thatâs how you know that youâre in trouble.Â
âHowâs your food?â you ask, desperate to get your mind off of dirtier things.Â
It seems that your professor has other plans. âGood, but not as good as you.âÂ
Your fork clangs loudly against the plate as you bring it down too hard and you curse under your breath. Agatha laughs and waves away the waiters who look at you from across the restaurant.Â
You donât say another word during breakfast, not wanting to give her any more fuel to mess with you. Itâs not that you donât enjoy itâyou just donât think other people will want to be around when you finally canât take it anymore and you jump on her and shove her hand up your dress.Â
Agatha pays the bill again without even looking at it and pops three of your potatoes into her mouth before standing up and nodding at you. She picks up the tote bag that was resting on the floor and her hand finds its way to the small of your back on the way out of the restaurant.Â
Heat from her fingers seeps through the silk and goes straight to your core. She leads you down the steps out front and back to the boardwalk.Â
âWe can get some beach chairs from the complex,â she says.Â
You burrow into her side and thereâs a spate of arousal in your veins when you breathe in her scent. âCan we stop in your room first?â you ask, desperation leaking into your voice.Â
Her laugh seems to mock you. âAw, baby,â she coos and squeezes your waist. âCan you be patient for mommy?âÂ
You whimper dramatically and then pout. âI have been.â
âI know, hon. Letâs go to the beach now, just for a few hours, and then weâll have all of tonight to do whatever we want.âÂ
âOkay,â you agree sullenly and Agatha presses a quick kiss to your head with a laugh.Â
âYouâre such a trooper,â she teases and you snort before straightening up. A few hours on the beach does sound nice: sunbathing and wading in the water and just existing with Agatha outside of the university.Â
Thereâs no telling the next time youâll get to just be yourselves instead of professor and student. You yearn for when youâll be able to do that all the time, but you know the rules. You know that canât happen yet, not for a few months at the earliest.Â
Itâll probably be after graduation in May before you can really be something. And thatâs not counting if sheâs your graduate school professor.Â
You feel your heavy sigh in your bones. Agatha glances at you but doesnât say anything this timeâmaybe she knows where your thoughts are at and doesn't want to make you voice them.Â
Is she having these thoughts too? You wish she were easier to read. You can rarely ever tell what sheâs thinking.Â
But you suppose thatâs part of her charm. The unbreakable Professor Harknessâexcept youâve gotten close to cracking through her facade.Â
Agatha walks off the boardwalk into the sand once you get back to her condo and you follow her around the building to the back, where thereâs a stand with a man surrounded by racks of folding chairs and umbrellas.Â
The man hands you two chairs and a big beach umbrella and writes down Agathaâs name. His eyes flit to you, maybe wondering who you are, but he doesnât say anything.Â
She finds a secluded spot a bit farther down the beach and stakes the umbrella in the sand while you unfold the chairs.Â
âIâm going to go change,â Agatha says, tossing the sunscreen and your towel at you from the bag, and you perk up immediately. âNo. Stay.âÂ
It very much feels like youâre a dog and sheâs ordering you around, but it works. You take off your dress and spray your body with sunscreen before rubbing some in on your face and then you shake out your towel and drape it over your chair.Â
She comes back a few minutes later to find you leaning over in your chair and pouring sand on your feet and you choke on your own saliva when you take her in. Sheâs wearing a black one-piece that shows off the swell of her breasts and the curve of her ass, and it dips to the middle of her chest, blessing you with more than a hint of cleavage.Â
Agatha likes your swimsuit too, if the darkening of her eyes and the faint pink in her cheeks is any indication.Â
You lurch up out of your chair with the sunscreen bottle and a glint in your eye. âNeed some help, Professor?â Before she can answer, you spray her legs and arms and step around to get her back. You toss the can down and step closer so you can sensually rub it in.Â
âYouâre not subtle,â she says through gritted teeth.Â
âI just donât want you to get burned,â you say innocently and she looks over her shoulder so you watch her roll her eyes. You smirk and lean in to kiss her, but she pulls back at the last minute and looks around.Â
Even though she bent you over the balcony and fucked you just a few hours ago, sheâs still a bit weary of affection in actual public places. You guess you canât blame her. She has a lot more to lose than you do, even though her signals seem extremely mixed. Sometimes it feels like she doesn't care if anyone is around.Â
Sheâs trying just as hard as you are to navigate whatâs going on between you and figure out whatâs safe and whatâs not.Â
If anything, it means that sometimes, she lets her guard down around you because she wants you too. Maybe just as much. You hope to god that thatâs true.Â
âShall we?â Agatha asks, tilting her head to the ocean, and itâs so much like last night, except you both go into the water together this time.Â
The waves are gentler right now and itâs warmer. You wade out easily until youâre a little above knee-deep with Agatha right behind you.Â
You turn around to face her and she glances around to find that everyone else is either much farther out than you are, or back on shore. Thereâs no one around you. They can still see you, but thereâs less risk.Â
She pulls you to her and spins you around, your back against her front with her arms crossed over you, and you stand like that for what feels like forever. The water sways you from side to side but thereâs something so peaceful about it, especially with Agatha holding you.Â
Her left hand begins to creep down until her fingertips rest against the edge of your bikini bottom hem, but she doesnât go any further. Just her touch is enough to make your stomach hot, but itâs not a burning heat. Itâs softer and muted and you want to just soak it in.Â
You feel her lips against your ear, a quick kiss, and then she does the same to your head. Her wet hair sticks to your back and you relax even more into her embrace.Â
âWeâre playing with fire, you know that, right?â Agatha murmurs. It sends a shiver down your spine and you nod.Â
Her unspoken words hang over you: someone is bound to get burned.Â
Even in the silence, it sounds like a promise.Â
But for right now, until that happens, she has you.Â
And you have her.Â
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#psychology of love#agatha harkness x reader#agatha x reader#agatha harkness x fem!reader#agatha x you#agatha harkness x you#agatha harkness smut#agatha smut#covsfics
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SKAM 10 year anniversary podcast -
English translation

NRK is celebrating a decade of Skam (đ) with a nine episode podcast. You can listen here
I'm collaborating with @kosegruppie who will be posting my translations and make subtitled videos with them. Make sure to follow them here on insta for all the latest!
Below the cut you'll find the transcript of the first episode (I've skipped a few summaries, the radio hosts watching the show etc, but all cast and crew interviews are there!). Enjoy!
From 03:50Â
Torkil Risan: Itâs hard to measure that kind of thing, but Skam has to be Norwayâs biggest tv show success. It was a small productio with low budget, had unknown actors and no traditional marketing. But the show would go on to break streaming records, set the agenda for public debate and take part in changing the language both in Norway and abroad. It would change the lives of many young people and entertain hordes of adults, and not only in Norway, no. There were people using their free time to translate the Norwegian episodes to a steadily growing international audience. Episodes were downloaded both illegally and, well only illegally really. But whatever. People all over the world were watching Skam. Skam has, up until this point, nine international adaptations, with Sram in Croatia as the latest one - it came out in October 2024. And all of this, that is the Norwegian original version, is created, written and directed by one person - Julie Andem.Â
JA: It became very difficult after a while to film and keep the storylines secret, because we were recorded wherever we went. Especially the outdoor scenes. Like at Nissen there were suddenly hordes of fans from all over the world when we were supposed to film, so that made it a bit difficult.   Â
TR: And you canât picture what it would become like when unknown 16 and 17 year olds get cast in a new show at NRK.
JA: Before these actors got their roles, at the last round of auditions, I had a talk with each one of them where I said: âI donât know how big this show will become, it can become nothing, but it might become big. And if it becomes big and you become famous, you give away part of your freedom - the freedom to be anonymous to people. Today, when youâre on the bus, having a bad day, no one bothers you. But after youâve become famous, people will walk up to you and want to talk to you and you canât get away from that. When I call you next week and give you the role, if I do, Iâll ask if youâve thought that over, and what you think of it - because you have to think that over now.â And I said that to each one of them before they got their parts. And then I think it was Josefine who said, we talked later about what I had said, that she thought âthat lady is delusional. Sheâs making a small P3 showâ. My talk went in one ear and out the other.Â
JA: Itâs hard to imagine things like this for people that havenât experienced success like that, and what it demands of you afterwards. And the freedom you lose to be anonymous. It is a really difficult pressure and it can be challenging. We thought a lot about it throughout and one of the main reasons that we ended Skam when we did, was because of that pressure on the young actors.
TR: Is this an ongoing conversation with the cast?Â
JA: I always think - thereâs no one outside of it who understands what we experienced with Skam. So the best ones to talk to, always, about these things are the cast and the production team, who understand it and have the same feelings.Â
TR: That Skam also changed the lives of those who created it, weâve established. I am curious about how Julie Andem, who has no clue how big the show is going to become, created these characters?
JA: As I remember it, I did loads of research with the target group to understand what that group, girls in Norway aged 16, needed, what stories it needed. And I think my goal was to develop 10 characters who could fit into a universe about them. Thatâs where I started. And the plan was that all the characters would develop in a way that they could carry their own season. So all of them were developed as main characters. I created them before the seasons, before the storylines.Â
TR: In September itâll be ten years since Skam was released. It was released more like an event than a traditional tv show. Short clips could be dropped at any point during the week and people in the show posted on social media. It was Mari Magnus who was responsible for these digital updates.Â
MM: All the characters, even if they donât have open accounts on social media, have a bunch of email addresses. I have a box full of sim cards and burner phones. Everyone had a facebook account. They were private, but it was so that it would feel a little real if you searched âIsak Valtersenâ.
TR: Someone else that became well known to the audience, was media professor Vilde Schanke Sundet. She saw the format as unique enough that she had to start doing research on Skam while it was still possible.Â
VSS: I binged the entire first season one night. I remember laying in the cosy corner at home, watching on the ipad. I went to bed at 2:30 am and thought ânow I understand what they are talking aboutâ. I was interested in analysing it the same way researchers have been interested in analysing multimedia storytelling - how the story is built, how you make the different components, what it is NRK wants with this show, what it is trying to tell. And you become so drawn into the story that the ability to analyse goes a bit up and down through the different seasons.Â
TR: What makes Skam different from other tv shows?
VSS: Thereâs both things that make it very different and things that are very similar. Because the dramatic curves are similar to other dramas we know of. Itâs love triangles, good vs evil, the struggle to find yourself, all things similar to the high school/coming of age genre. And itâs well made, but thatâs not whatâs groundbreaking. The groundbreaking part is how the story is told. You're doing it real time, so if youâre following the blog it will appear very close. You never know when something is coming. Itâs unpredictable, it drags people in. Itâs based on the needs of the audience. They did loads of research when developing the show and it appears closer when the setting is a Norwegian high school than an American one. That makes it different and innovative. I think all the fans know they are fictional characters, but they feel much more real because we are not sitting down in front of the tv to watch, they are just there in your everyday life. Itâs much more at the top of your mind than other things you watch and put behind you until the next episode is released.Â
TR: The way Skam was created made it special. But that was not the most important part for Morten Hegseth.Â
MH: The format has been given too much credit. It was a good format to post clips in that way, but the reason it was so good was that the content was amazing. It wasnât the publishing strategy that made Skam an international phenomenon.Â
(Skip to 13:26)
TR: Before they created Skam, the show creator Julie Andem and a few others made in depth interviews with young people in the target group. And the challenges Eva has in season 1, was pretty common with the group.Â
JA: What is that life like? When youâre coming from secondary school, where you have a friend group and a familiar and safe environment and youâre thrown into a new universe. Everything is starting over and you have to find your place again. But she starts out as a girl who has become totally dependent on her boyfriend. Sheâs been thrown out of the friend group because of the choice sheâs made to be together with her boyfriend, with Jonas, and that makes her dependent on him.Â
TR: A successful way to independence is to become friends with a confident, stylish and cool new girl, like Noora. That, despite being good in Spanish, isnât as crazy about russ as the other girls Eva startâs to hang out with - Jente-Chris, Vilde and Sana, who has concrete plans to fix a spot on a russebuss. And there you have our girl gang. Do you, the listener, think they are cool? Are they supposed to be cool?
JA: Socially, in school, they are not a cool group. Thatâs what the first storyline is about. The Pepsi Max gang are the cool, pretty girls and the other girls are not so cool. But I think they are very cool.
TR: What about the boys, arenât they cooler?
JA: Yeah, they do at least have cooler references and masks. Iâs more important to them to be cool. So they might be âcoolerâ. Â
TR: To actress Lisa Teige, it was a bit like starting a new school - moving from Bergen and start working as an actor in Skam. How much of Eva is really in Lisa?Â
LT: In the beginning I felt very different from Eva, because she went through very different things, I thought at that time. But things like finding friends in high school, I do identify with. I didnât have that boyfriend drama, at least so early on. But looking back at it now, I would say I see myself in a lot of the things Skam talks about. Iâve also been in girl drama, had partner problems and the vulnerability in finding new friends. But back then, I felt the need to be like âNo! Iâm not going through the same things as Eva right nowâ. But really I did eventually go through those things.Â
TR: And like Eva, Lisa did find some good friends on Nissensâs school yard.Â
LT: I remember I noticed they were a few years older than me. I thought they were incredibly cool. That was my first thought âshit, these are cool people with experienceâ. It felt very cool to be part of that group. And I have so many good memories from the set with all the girls together. Especially because thereâs a lot of humor surrounding the Vilde and Chris characters. They improvised many funny parts and we were laughing so hard on set. The dynamics of the group was really good.Â
TR: But Bergen, where Lisa is from, and Oslo are two different cities and they have different accents.Â
LT: Some things were difficult for me, as someone from Bergen. Like when I was supposed to say vors (pre-game) for the first time, which I had never said before and I donât think I had ever been to one. And they said vors in the Oslo dialect and it was so difficult for me. I had to call mum and dad back home to ask how I was supposed to say the word.Â
TR: Eva is also one of the characters who is making out the most in the show. And here both Lisa and actor Marlon Langeland, who plays Jonas, got thrown into the deep end from the start.Â
LT: We had a workshop before filming, where we got to know each other and we played some games, as warm up. But to start kissing that person is something totally different. I remember dreading that quite a lot, because we were making out the first day of filming.Â
LT: And thatâs the kind of thing you dread a lot, but when you first get going itâs very mechanical in a way. You donât think about what youâre really doing and itâs like âcan you place your hand thereâ, âturn a bit that wayâ and âmake the kiss a bit more intense, because it looks good on cameraâ.Â
(skip to 27:19)
TR: Mari Magnus mentioned The penetrators, the coolest russebuss at Nissen.Â
MM: Penetrators has a song, thatâs on Spotify and I donât know if it has been said before, it probably has, but *whispers* itâs Tarjei.Â
TR: Thatâs rapping?
MM: Yes.Â
TR: So the guy singing lines like âPenetrators cums on your face, the weather report says flooding, itâll rain cumâ, that Tarjei Sandvik Moe, who plays Isak. Tarjei went to Nissen himself during this time and managed to sneak in several references to actual things going on in the school. And to blur the lines between the fictional and reality was one of the showâs goals. To make the show as real as possible they had instagram accounts and could start chatting with each other on friday evenings.Â
MM: It was a Friday evening and Julie was probably at work and we posted a photo on Jonasâ account, a Big Smalls reference, that he tagged Isak in. And we are logged into one account each, one on Isakâs, one on Jonasâ. And we decided to have some fun in the comment section, hoping that maybe three people would see it, but that these three would have such a weird experience that they in school on Monday would say âYou wonât believe what I say on instagram on Fridayâ. So Isak and Jonas drag Eva into it, but Eva is on a russebuss. And the audience is so cool, there are fans playing along and commenting things like âI saw you in the cafeteria todayâ âwhat did you get on your maths test?â. This is week two maybe, and those things we could do a bit more strategically at the start to get the engagement going. Â
TR: Itâs a bit slow in the beginning, but interest in Skam grows quite fast. So to chat as the characters on instagram becomes too difficult, thereâs too many others taking part in the conversation. And some audience members were more engaged than others. One of them was Julian Dahl, who was very active in the comment section. Active enough to get mentioned in the show.Â
TR: Youâre living alongside these characters and sometimes that creates problems. Because Eva wants Jonas and Isak to go with her to the revy-party but they canât. Why not?
Isak: We canât
Jonas: Why not?Â
Isak: The tickets to Kindred Fever.Â
Jonas: I had totally forgotten that.Â
TR: Youâre excused if the name Kindred Fever doesnât ring any bells. They had a mini hype right around the time when this was released and they happened to have a concert the same day as the revy-party.Â
JA: The only reason we picked that concert was because it was Oslo that day. We just thought what band could they possibly be interested in thatâs playing in Oslo that day?
TR: To make the right references is hard when youâre making a show. How do you know what 16 year old boys are saying, doing and would post? Sometimes Mari Magnus asked the actors to do it themselves.Â
MM: In season one we sent Isak, Eva and Jonas out on the town with some phones and told them to make some content as if they were a friend group eating burgers in town. And they came home with loads of nice stuff we could post.Â
(Skip to 33:40)
TR: Iâm at your disposal - you can ask questions about the show and leave your thoughts and tips. Thereâs many easter eggs and symbolism in Skam that might be fun to dig deeper into if we come across it. Thereâs a messaging function on NRK radio. You could for example ask, like I asked Julie Andem, why is the show called Skam?
JA: We had loads of suggestions and we hung big sheets of paper at the auditions where they could write suggestions for the name of the show. And we got a lot of strange ones and Ingvild Marie Nyborg, who was on the team, came up with Skam and no one of us hated it, so that was the one.Â
TR: Do you remember any of the ones you hated?Â
JA: I remember âthe 99:er gangâ.Â
TR: Iâve found some questions the fans are wondering by sneaking around in some of the many Skam online fan forums: Like, who in the Skam universe is Lisa Teige?Â
LT: During the auditions I very much wanted to be Noora. Especially when I was 16 I thought Noora was super cool. But I do feel closest to Eva. I recognize myself in the insecurity and the fun parts and being someone with principles. Itâs a boring answer, but it is Eva. Thatâs why I got to play her. Â
#im baaack#feels like ive been unemployed but finally have something to do lol#if you see any grammatical errors or wrong uses of the english langugage youre very welcome to lmk#praying i can keep the energy going for nine eps#no promises tho#skam#skam norway#julie andem#lisa teige
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Night in the Net // Shigaraki x f! reader (18+)

Synopsis: You find yourself stranded in one hell of a sexist environment: the small town's internet cafĂŠ. Shigaraki's on the night shift. (3.6k)
Warnings: sex with Shiggy basically, mild degradation and misogyny from our fav incel, dom!Shiggy with a twist (no quirk obviously), use of âdollfaceâ (i like it)
A/N: No dark themes here, peace n luv. Also.. yeah he is always linked to some gaming/electronic business ik!! but I like the trope/hc/almost canon.
You'd never imagine this was how your night would end.
Why are you there again? Right, your friends wanted to go to that after party, as if the club wasn't enough. What was supposed to be a night out ended up with you in the local internet cafĂŠ (the only after hours spot) while your friends decided to go to a house party with loud techno music, which definitely wasnât your vibe. You and your friends lived close and would often call a taxi on your way home, money wasnât enough for you to ride solo today thoughâyou prayed in times like these that you at least had a job; you wouldnât have to rely on anyone then.Â
You knew pretty much everyone there, itâs not like the town had more than ten thousand residents and considering the age group and schools youâd all gone to, the internet cafĂŠ only had a few unknown members. On todayâs shift was none other than Tomura of course, that guy was taking up as many shifts as his body would allow him to, apparently there was this rumor a family member was in crucial condition and they were in need. Tomura Shigaraki was one of these people you had branded as incel. Though hardworking (he kept a house of his own, cleaning and doing all chores by himself while providing for whomever he had), you still considered the guy as one. Nowâyou know the term is heavy, matter of fact, quite offending and serious as an allegation but itâs not like there werenât rumors. Rumors heâd bash women and call them prostitutes, try to sleep with girls and trash them to his friends a day later, hating them for anything they did and claiming true love didnât exist nowadays because âall women are sluts, who need money and validation.â Plus, he worked at the local internet cafĂŠ (should be enough reason), engaging in heated conversations with his friends and fellow streamers. God, one look in their chats and you'd get as violent as possibleâ (not much, you'd discovered it the hard way). Thus, it was no surprise that when you enter the place, you hear whispers and scoffs.
ââThe hell are you doing here?ââ A voice was heard from within, the cafĂŠ had the computer screens up front, a bar and a couch with TV in the back. Tomura was occupied in the designated bar the place had (you often wondered what kind of needs these people hadâall they ever consumed was energy drinks and pre-packaged meals, takeouts were for reasons of competitive market prohibited).
ââJust dropping by for a couple of hours, will leave soon.ââ You sigh as you take a seat on the couch, not bothering to talk to anyone, it wasnât like they cared anyway. Loud noise and laughter can be heard all around, a couple of guys swearing and some younger boys excitedly standing above their screens. The store had a 16+ policy, but of course, no one ever checked so kids could practically stare unattended. Tomura also encouraged younger boys to play, such a piece of shit, you think, getting them to learn young.Â
ââOh my fucking God, a slut just joined!ââ You hear some guy swear, presumably because a girl joined their online server. These guys were so disgusting, you cringe, it was no wonder they were celibate without wanting it. You stand up, you need to kill some time and you're feeling bored, you think about starting a fight with Tomura, how else could you have a little bit of fun?
You werenât ever necessarily afraid of the guy, even though you had to admit, he looked intimidating. Quite tall with a pale complexion, ashy, dull hair and scars across his face; no one actually knew much about him and whether he was troubled, itâs not like he ever showed to work beaten up or high and usually kept a low profile. The only frightening thing this man had was his smile, it terrified you sometimes as it looked downright evil.Â
ââGetting them to learn young, huh?ââ You ask him, heâs washing up some cups from the previous round of gross gaming guys, who have now left.
ââWhat?ââ He responds, not bothering to look up.Â
ââHow to not get women, I mean.ââ You sigh as he huffs in annoyance.
ââYou should be grateful I let a female in my store in the first place.ââ He retorts, but doesnât seem very angry, just ironic. Usual.
My store (you decide to skip over 'female') sounds funny but you choose not to comment on it.Â
ââSo how long until you guys close?ââ You don't bother with the vocabularyâitâs routine at this point. It also never ends well and you had a great night so far, why ruin it now?
ââTwo hours.ââÂ
ââMind if I sit on the couch? Iâll be quiet I promiseââ You askâtechnically beg, as you see no other options.
ââUgh.. yeah I mind. Thereâs some guys wanting to use it, I have a group for GTA on the PS5.ââ
ââSeriously? People still play that?ââ You whine but force yourself to continue.
 ââCan I sit with you then?ââ It takes strengthâbut you say it regardless. You came to terms with the fact he was your last resort minutes ago.
ââSure. But you need to make yourself useful. Here, take this.ââ He hands you a wet sponge, ââWash these up... carefully, while I go clean the floors.ââ He orders, as if youâre part of the staff (and new on the job apparently.)
ââDo you actually want me to wash freaking dishes? I just came here to chill, I donât even bother anyone!ââ You start feeling annoyed with the chores, you arenât 16 and he isnât your mom.
ââYou can always leave.ââ The running tap stops and he turns to you, practically shoving the wet gloves on your chest.Â
ââOr...you can stop being a brat and be of use during your stay, I have two hours left.ââ He smiles, that same smile that makes your skin crawl and blood boil as he moves away.
ââFuck! My dress, you asshole!ââ A wet patch now covers the too short dress as you glance at the time on your phone.Â
Two hours. Two hours until your friends leave and he closes up anyway.
-
Tomura was at least true to his words. Within two insufferable hours of having to listen to appalling conversations between men (hardly to be considered as such), plate washing and the toilet being constantly occupied, the last customers get up to leave.Â
You dry your hands and plop down the couch exhausted.
ââFinally.ââ You exhale checking your phone, your friends hadnât given you any life signs in the meantime, so you decide to patiently wait, theyâd message eventually. Tomura is done sweeping the nasty floors from crumbs and dried Monster remnants, which he still has to mop (for the fourth time, you note and you've only been there some hours). You notice how restless he seemsâthe guy has been running the whole night after ignorant customers, who had not once shown basic respect for the order of the place yet never complained. Truly a shame he has such a misogynistic mindset, you think. He could get women, if he wanted to.Â
Itâs around 6:30 AM, when he presses a button to close the store's roll-up shutters halfway. Small light outside makes its way in but the place is still relatively dark, as he places the mop near the wall and takes a seat next to you.
ââFuuck, Iâm so tired.ââ He sighs, making sure to spread his legs on the couch as much as he can, not caring (of course) about you also sitting on it.Â
You always branded Tomura as an incel, that you knew about. But despite that, you now canât help but feel for him, not knowing much about him at the same time. Sure, he technically isnât the nicest guy but a look around would show you that he tries enough for a job kicking his ass. You find yourself sympathizing with a man, whose ideals you hate and try to brush these thoughts off.
ââAnd why the fuck am I an incel anyway?ââ He asks, his head rests on the couch and his eyes are closed, he is scrunching severelyâalmost threatening to fall down. And he manspreads. A lot.
ââW-wellâ I..ââ You never thought heâd caught on to that, stammering to stand your ground as you continue. ââWell, there have been rumors about you.ââ You say, but it doesnât come off as confident as youâd hoped for. You also realize, it sounds kind of stupid.
ââReaaally? And you made sure to believe them, right?ââ His toneâs laced with irony but the way he talks like he whispers in a raspy voice doesn't annoy you anymore. It makes you more... uncomfortable? On the edge? Excited?...what?
ââItâs not like you donât claim it yourself.ââ You retort, finally finding some courage. You notice him looking at you as you awkwardly shuffle in your seat.
ââAll Iâve ever said was that I think women are good for nothing. And I still believe that, but I wouldnât waste more of my time on that.ââ The statement makes you roll your eyes.
ââHow can you generalize a whole group of people, who are literally in no way inferior to you, you canât tell me youâve triedâââÂ
ââListen dollface, unless you want to change my mind thereâs no reason to fuss that much, my opinion wonât change.ââ
Unless you want to change my mind?
ââI-I donât.ââ You stammer, because the answer and pet name (dollface??) takes you by surprise and he laughs.
ââRelax, you branded me an incel.ââ He jokes, ââdonât want the rape allegations on me too.ââÂ
The more he talks, the more your mind races and you curse yourself. He seems..funny? He has a mole under his lipsâfuck, it looks cute...He also looks good so (stupid as it is, yes!) you silently want his attention. Why canât he just look you in the eyes more?
This is so wrong. He must've noticed your lost gaze as he speaks up.
ââWanna watch a movie?ââ He proposes and you nod, anything is better than the silence hanging in the air. Silence you caused. For thinking... things about him.Â
Of course Tomura ends up choosing the most depressing film anyone can possibly watch in an internet cafĂŠ at 6 AM, Fallen Angels, and the dramatic cuts make it hard for you to concentrate. He at a certain point leans closer to you but you justify it, how else would he be able to see?
During this one scene, the woman pleasured herself with her legs closed, rubbing together and thatâs when you feel a soft hand touch on your thigh. The dress you wore rode up, because your legs rested on the table ahead so it gave him the space he needed. The movement made you tingle and your core involuntarily contracted. The smooth fingers teasingly trailed up and down your leg, from your knees to your inner thighs. You didnât want to look at himâhe was too close and the scene seemed endless. ButâŚhe went on about it as if nothing was happening.Â
Without saying a word, he carried on. A pad of his finger tip dangerously close to your now heated entrance, the images flashing before your eyes lewd, his hand tempting and threatening to reach your already soaked cuntâall this while the two of you hadnât even shared a kiss. But he doesn't stop, looking ahead and acting like everythingâs fine, until he touches your lower lips and you hiss, his finger traces the wet spot over your underwear while you try to move and speak up.Â
ââWâwhat are yâââ
ââShh..ââ is all he says.Â
You want to tell him no. But no to what? You like the feeling of his two fingers against your folds. His palm moves your panties to the side and he stuffs them insideâthey dampen from the fluids. How is he that quick? You canât form a response but youâre about to ask him whyâ
ââAll that and I havenât even kissed you.ââ He murmurs, gaze still fixated on the television ahead as you moan, when he slowly pumps them within your walls. Fuck, are you turned on by this?
ââP-please..ââ You whisper, turning to look at him and for the first time, his eyes are removed from the stupid TV, a sly smile on his features as he tears away his hand.
ââWhat is it? Want the incel to kiss you? Maybe even fuck you to prove a point?ââ He says and you frown.
ââIâno, I have to go.ââ You get up, fixing (lowering) your dressâyou have nowhere to go but youâll figure it out eventually. You think staying longer only plays into his cruel intentions and whilst you canât deny the pleasure he could give you, your prideâs in the way.
ââYouâre not going anywhere.ââ A wet hand clasps around your wrist and brings you on his lap, as he grins; you seem confused at the sensation. You are hiding the TV screen but he couldn't care less, he never paid attention to the movie.
ââFeel the stain you left, too?ââ He says as he brings your face closer with the sticky palm grabbing you by the hair. You softly moan, noticing the small mole up close and feeling a bulge poke where your bodies meet. You sway your hips in a silent effort to have him initiate a kiss, you feel desperate and curse yourself again internally. He can only smile.
(You were so clueless, walking around in that slutty dress earlierâmaking him hard like that, did you even know it?)
Heâs quick to kiss you, eager for more already, as mouths clash, teeth collide, the need you both have exceeds proper manners. You sloppily grind against him, the friction from a long outline beneath you makes it hard to think.
ââIâm guessing, youâre really fucking the incel then.ââ He half smirks as he grabs you and repositions you to sit on his now fully hard cock that throbs in his pants; he lifts your dress above your ass and guides your hips sluggishly back and forthâheâs tormenting you and he enjoys it to the fullest.
ââT-tomura..p-please.ââ You whine, the urge to have him inside you makes you blabber.
ââPlease what?ââ He slides a hand behind your waist, lowering it to find your slit from behind, his fingers pet your cunt and you moan. Loudly. He is tugging at your panties, the fabric annoys him and he wants full access and the words. The words to prove his point.
ââPâplease...fuck me already!ââ You breathe out and he groans to the sound of your voice.Â
The ironic remark he prepared evaporates as he quickly pushes you back, just enough to not fall off his lap and quickly unzips his pants, thanking god for not wearing a belt.Â
His pants and underwear are sloppily moved down his knees, as his cock jumps with a pop on his lower abdomen, stiff with a weeping tip. Pretty veins throb around it as your eyes widen.
Shit, heâs big, can you take him?
ââIâd ask for a nice blowjob, dollface, but wouldnât want the feminists after me.ââ He says as he brings you close, kissing you yet again, a string of spit runs down your jaw, as your hands roam his tangled, uncombed hair.Â
He positions you on his cock, one hand snakes around your waist while the other one clings to the back of your scalp and youâre swiftly lifted by the head and pushed down on him, as you let out a scream.
ââShut the fuck up.ââ He hisses, quickly looking around, the sensation from almost his whole length makes you tremble, he feels too full, too painful...too good.
ââShit, câmon now you got this.ââ He encourages as you hesitantly move up and down his cock, gripping his shoulders and looking at him; he seems more concentrated on the sensation than your body, staring at you while you wrap around his length.
ââFuck...dollface, this too much for ya?ââ He tries not to grunt and you give your best not to cry, each moment that goes by turning the initial pain to pleasureâyour cunt adjusts slowly and bit by bit to his girth.Â
ââT-tomura... y-yes..itâs too much!ââ You whine, sweat forms in your forehead as his hand finds your swollen clit and circles it while your nails dig deeper in his shirt.
ââYou can take it.ââ He says, he feels you squeezing him in, you bounce with dedication on his legs, making the couch squeak as if on some sex tapeâyou want to bring yourself even closer. So nasty, aren't you? Acting righteous, only to fuck yourself on his cock like a desperate whore.
ââI-ugh-p-please..ââ You try to speak but he secures his hand around your torso and sinks (lower than before) down the couch. Two strong hands force you to stay still in the air while he drills himself into you at a steady pace, kind of sloppily too. Both of you moan, the position gives equal pleasure, your clit bumps on his groin and his cock reaches your g-spot with ease.
ââSâShit, youâre squeezing way too much, havenât you been fucked like this before?ââ He sounds annoyed but the stammer in his voice betrays him.
Not like this, you want to say but canât really speak the words. Your weight falls entirely on him, he doesnât mind one bitâhe loves it actually, this skin on skin contact as he guides you on his cock, it feels surreal. He hits soft and spongy spots inside while you slowly fall apart.Â
ââT-Tomura right there..I ughâI'm close!ââ The sensation overwhelms you, his eyes are still fixated on your face, yeah I can tell, he thinks. He gets off on your desperation, mouth parted all for him? Your eyes threaten to spill by the way he tears apart your cunt and morals bit by bit.. itâsâ
ââTomura, aren't you closing yet?ââ Someone asks from outside, interrupting the moment. The shutters only reveal a pair of shoes.Â
ââYeah, Iâm on it.ââ Shigaraki stops composed, cockwarming you in a funny way, while a hand, his hand covers your mouth. Your eyes widen as slick trickles down his thighs in silence.
ââAlright, see you then.ââ The man leaves and he cusses him out. (''Cunt.'')
ââWeâre not done.ââ He turns his attention back to you and seizes your face, bringing your mouth closer.
ââOpen up.ââ He orders and you do, clenching around him in anticipation.
He spits in it and closes the gap with his index finger.Â
ââSwallow or I wonât continue.ââ You quickly gulp down.
ââSo obedient all of a sudden, aren't you?ââ Sarcasm evident as he gives your ass a solid hit, before starting to get back on his pace, only more rough this time, he longs for your release on him. Youâre moving up and down his length, trying to grab anything accessible really, his hair, the back of the couch, under his shirt and you feel your orgasm resurface stronger; the delay highlighted all of your senses.
ââT-Tomuraâââ You shudder, as his cock hits your g-spot expertlyâfuck, this guy wasn't some incelâand your swollen clit has to brush one last time past his groin before you feel an overwhelming orgasm take over. You clamp down his length and moan embarrassingly (Fuck Tomura! IâI'm...too good!) This time he lets you, he needs to hear this.
ââFuuckâagh, look at you dollface.ââ He hums, a feminist creaming herself on my cock, he wants to add but itâs too many words and you just came so he wastes no time. He brings your neck close to his mouth and bites on it, teeth sink into your flesh and hands force you all the way down. His cum spills inside and he groans, trying to stifle his moans by biting down the sensitive skin even harder.Â
And fuck if that isnât hot.
He keeps you on him, arms fasten around your waist with cum dripping onto his lowered pants but neither of you bother to care; ragged breaths and the sounds of the film still playing are audible as more light enters through the rolled shutters.
God mustâve been on your side that day because a message appears on your screen moments after you both wordlessly got up and cleaned yourselves in the bathroom. Tomura would have to clean again, you think, as the message on your phone signals your time to leave.
You turn to look at him, he has removed his shirt and small nail scratches decorate his pale back and you..smile. What the hell? Was this..? Oh noâYou try to find an appropriate goodbye.
See you soon? Thanks for the mind blowing dick? You arenât the incel I thought you were? Everything seems embarrassing at present time.Â
ââI-Iâll be seeing you soon.ââ You opt for that, stupid as it is, you still look at him in anticipation. He turns to you, hands on the mop cleaning near the couch and nods.Â
Great, you think, that was a disaster. You defeatedly walk (actually stoop to get past the almost closed door) feeling like a hooker after a client, miserable and kind of used. This is always the worst part.Â
You feel an arm touch your shoulder, youâve only taken a few steps in the daylight.
ââTake this in case you revoke your incel statement.ââ
Tomura hands you a piece of paper and quickly disappears behind the storeâs shadows.
#shigaraki x reader#shigaraki tomura#shigaraki x you#shigaraki smut#shigaraki tomura x reader#mha x reader#tenko x reader#shigaraki tomura smut#tomura x reader#tw degradation
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Thawing Out
collab with @ellecdc
part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7 | part 8 | part 9 | part 10 | part 11 | part 12 | part 13 | part 14 | part 15 | part 16
cw: modern au, some mature themes (in that it vaguely references past smut), allusion to past abusive dynamics/child abuse, thoughts of being undeserving and general emotional overwhelm
poly!wolfstar x fem!reader ⥠2.2k words
Sirius becomes aware of his trembling while youâre waiting for your score. Itâs not unusual, he could tell himself, just the adrenaline of a big performance working its way out of his system, but he knows better.Â
Seeing his parents shouldnât bother him. It doesnât, reallyâhis tolerance for their shit is certainly lower than when he lived in their house, but heâs not as scared of them as he used to be either. Sirius isnât sure whatâs rattling him so badly now. Maybe itâs you. You and Remus, his team.Â
Last night felt like a dream. It would have been easy to believe the two of you had been drinking as he had earlier, the way youâd moved together as though in a trance, heavy kisses and sweet, curious touches and the sort of words Sirius has only ever heard in his fantasies. After, when Remus thought you were both asleep, heâd pressed a kiss to your forehead and trailed his fingers through Siriusâ hair like Sirius was a gift to touch.Â
Sirius stayed half awake through most of the night, blissfully aware of every soft noise Remus made in his sleep, every shift of your body against his. It really was like a long dream, hazy and wonderful. Too good to last.Â
Waking felt only right. Sirius is not and never has been accustomed to hoping for better than he deserves. And reality is still better; heâs lucky to have it.
By the time he was fully conscious you and Remus were already moving, seemingly in the midst of a panic Sirius didnât feel any particular need to contribute to. Competition loomed. The two of you seemed at war for who could be the sweetest and most prepared, each bringing caddies of drinks and each trying to sweeten his coffee enough to make it comparable to his beloved caramel latte from back home (neither of you were successful, but Sirius appreciated the effort nonetheless). Youâd been fidgety and Remus reticent, but none of you had spoken about the night before. Sirius thought maybe it was best that way; heâd likely play the memory over in his head for the rest of his life, but heâd never ask anything more from either of you than a single night. Remus had been trying to soothe him and youâd been, at best, curious; it didn't have to mean anything. Siriusâ feelings were raw and unruly, but they werenât your problem. You hadnât signed on for that. He could tuck them back away.Â
Then his parents had reared their ugly heads. Youâd spoken when Sirius couldnâtâshouted, really. You were ferocious, a force of nature, and then Remusâ voice had been hard as steel when heâd told them to leave. Heâd sent the two of you ahead, Sirius still reeling and you trying to steady him, and Remus returned having kicked Siriusâ mother and father out of the rink. (Kicked out! A teenage Sirius would have laughed for days.) Youâd stood up for him, really defended him, the both of you.Â
The knowledge had grounded him enough to hone his hurricane of emotions into determination just before your names were announced. On the ice, Sirius felt your stare as well as Remusâ, on him and on each other, and it felt like his lungs were suddenly getting more air than they ever had before. Heâd done his best to channel all of it into the routine, and then he was in the kiss and cry, both of your arms around him and this odd feeling shooting all the way down into his fingertips.Â
He registers your score only distantly. It places you second, at least for the time being. There are a few pairs who still have to compete.Â
Sirius is happy. He thinks he is, at least, heâs got everything he could possibly want. Two of the best people heâs ever known raining affection down on him like a torrent, a real chance at medaling in the Olympics, and his parents forced to watch it on TV instead of from the stands. Heâs so happy heâs shaking with it.Â
âSirius.â Youâre smiling at him, tears in your eyes, but thereâs an uncertainty about your expression. âAre you okay?âÂ
Siriusâ throat tightens, but he speaks through it, squeezing your shoulders and trying to mirror your excitement. âYeah. Arenât you?âÂ
Evidently, his performance isnât as persuasive as heâd like. Your brows bunch. âOf course I am, butâŚâÂ
To your credit, youâve never brought up Siriusâ parents after he moved out. Sirius will sometimes joke about it, and youâll laugh along, but you donât push him to talk about the things heâs not ready for. He can see you battling that instinct now, trying to decide whether to leave him be or push the issue when you know somethingâs wrong.Â
âLetâs get away from here,â says Remus in his usual calm way. He touches a hand between your shoulder blades, encouraging you out of the kiss and cry, knowing Sirius will follow. Thereâs a short hallway, at the end of it the press room, but Remus steps into a locker room halfway down.Â
Sirius frowns. âWe have to go take questionsââÂ
âThey can wait,â Remus says. He sits down on a bench, stretching his leg out in front of him. âDo you need a few minutes?âÂ
Sirius feigns confusion, shaking his head. âIâm fine.âÂ
Remus is unconvinced. âYou didnât really have time to process before going out on the ice. I canâtâŚI donât know all about what happened out there, but if it were me I imagine Iâd need a while to sort myself out.âÂ
Sirius feels a familiar ire rising up in him, the itch for a good brawl. âYour imaginings arenât a lot to go off, though, are they? I donât need anything.âÂ
âSirius,â you say, softly. Without warning, or without any warnings Sirius can discern, you wrap your arms around him. The stretchy material of your costume slides against his, your wrists crossing over his back and palms flattening by his shoulder blades. After a second Sirius starts to feel like a prick for not hugging you back, so he does.Â
âDonât,â you murmur, chin pushing into his shoulder. âYouâre shaking.âÂ
So, thatâs obvious then.Â
Sirius holds you close, and he wonders if he could do more. Thisâhuggingâhas always been a privilege he felt like he hadnât earned, but itâs not new. Is he still allowed to kiss you? If he pressed his nose to your neck and stayed there, would you push him away?Â
He needs you to stroke his hair, or for Remus to call him one of his treacly pet names, to know that these looks passing between you mean something.Â
âIâm okay,â he says, just as softly. âMy parents canât get to me like that anymore.âÂ
Remus has that infuriatingly attractive perceptive look again, tinged now with sadness. He asks gently, âWhatâs the matter, then?âÂ
âIâŚâ Sirius shakes his head. He has the urge to think up a lie, something like Iâm sore from all the fucking last night or my left sock is bunched horribly in the toe of my skate, but then youâre letting him go, looking up at him, and Sirius finds that he feels not trapped but safe between your gazes. âIâm confused.âÂ
You blink, surprised, but Remus looks as though he understands. âYou mean aboutâŚâÂ
âYeah.âÂ
âOh, god.â Remus lets out a heaving sigh, some tension Sirius hadnât noticed in his posture releasing. âMe too.âÂ
Itâs so unlike him that Sirius laughs. Remus chuckles, too, and you join in somewhat bemusedly. Uncertainty still hangs in the room, but thereâs no awkwardness between you. How could there be?
âWe didnât really have the chance to talk anything over, did we?â asks Remus.Â
âDid we not?â Youâre looking between them, seeming genuinely perplexed.Â
Sirius raises an eyebrow at you. âNot that I recall. I seem to remember the bloody Olympics getting in the way.âÂ
Remus laughs again. You look as surprised as Sirius by this; itâs probably as unwound as youâve ever seen him. Sirius thinks he could get drunk on the sound.Â
âI justâŚâ You smile, tentatively. âI thought we talked about it last night.âÂ
Sirius leans his shoulder against the wall, trying to read you. âWhat do you think we talked about last night?âÂ
âWeâŚdidnât you sayâŚâ Your brows draw together for a few moments before your expression shifts, eyes widening. âWas it just sex?âÂ
Siriusâ heart clenches. He shakes his head. He hatesâhatesâputting his feelings out to be inspected and judged, but he canât leave you out here by yourself. âNot for me.âÂ
âWe were the ones who sprung it all on you,â Remus tells you gently. âIt would be understandable if you thought it was only for the night.âÂ
Your arms wrap around your middle, and youâre rubbing your lips together again. Sirius really wishes he could kiss you. He wants, suddenly desperately, to stop talking about all of this and go straight back to bed; he doesnât care if heâs the one who brought it up. Heâll take whatever he can get with both of you.Â
âIâŚwas confused, at first,â you admit. âI hadnât really considered it before, but I think maybe I just hadnât let myself consider it? I donât know if that makes sense.âÂ
Your voice is getting smaller as you talk. Sirius canât stand it.Â
âIt does,â he says. âListen, as far as Iâm concerned, whatever you want it to be, it can. I donât want to lose either of you.âÂ
No one has ever spoken up for Sirius the way you both did today. Whatever kind you decide to make it, thereâs love between you. Itâs better than he deserves, but he wonât give it up.Â
âSirius.â Remusâ tone is so laden with sympathy Sirius canât stand it. He doesnât want to look at him, at either of you, but heâll never not rise to a challenge. The amber eyes that meet his are warm enough to melt in.Â
âYou couldnât lose us,â Remus says simply.Â
Siriusâ hands begin shaking worse than ever.Â
âObviously not.â You look almost offended. No longer small, though, so he supposes heâll take his wins where he can get them. âI love you. I love both of you. I didnât really think about how orâor in what way until recently, but thatâs not going to change. Iâm always going to care about you guys. Still, IâŚI would like to try.â You grow bashful again. Sirius catchesâ Remusâ lips twitching at the change. âIt wasnât just sex for me.âÂ
Siriusâ heart inflates. You both look to Remus. He looks surprised to be considered, as if you mightâve forgotten he was there.Â
âIt was never just that for me,â he says, in that blunt way you can only ever really surprise out of him. Sirius feels himself beginning to smile, trying to quell it so Remus can finish. The other boy starts choosing his words more carefully, âI didnât thinkâŚI didnât want to presume anything, but I think Iâve wanted for more with the both of you forâŚwell, probably since that first week.â His gaze drifts downward, brows pinching concernedly. âOh, love, stop shaking. Come here, youâre alright.âÂ
Sirius would be a fool to turn down an offer like that. He pushes off from the wall, going to sit beside Remus on the bench. You follow, sitting on Siriusâ other side and snaking your arms around his waist in a tight hug while Remusâ arm comes to rest across his shoulders. The weight of both of you is strangely reassuring; again, Sirius has that feeling, that heâs not trapped but engulfed. Embraced.Â
âIâm sorry,â you mumble, lips to his shoulder. âThey shouldnât have been here.âÂ
Sirius lifts a hand, bringing it around your head to where a few pieces of hair have begun rebelling against the style youâd put it in for competition. He runs one between his fingers, because he can.Â
âItâs really okay,â he says. âIâm not upset. I donât know why Iâm still reacting like this. I feel fine.âÂ
Remus makes a considerate humming sound. âItâs been a long day.âÂ
âItâs not even noon,â you point out.Â
Sirius laughs, and the two of you do, too, holding onto each other despite your exhaustion.Â
âA lot has happened,â Remus amends. âWe can relax now, though, yeah? No more parents, no more competition. Youâve done the best you can, and it was amazing, truly, but now you can ease up.âÂ
Sirius is beginning to feel better, some unknown part of him unspooling. There was the disbelief, the hazy dream of last night. Then the fraught, tremulous happiness of morning, charged looks and harsh words spoken not at but for each other. And then thereâs this. New, precious, but it doesnât feel delicate. It feels like the rush of lowering you into a death spiral and knowing he can trust you to bear it. Knowing you can trust him to keep you up.Â
You sigh. âWe still have to talk to the press, though.âÂ
âOh, thatâs not so bad.â Remusâ arm tightens around Siriusâ shoulders, squeezing. Thereâs a smile in his voice. âYouâll do great. Who wouldnât love the two of you?â
#poly!wolfstar olympic au#poly!wolfstar#poly!wolfstar x reader#poly!wolfstar x fem!reader#poly!wolfstar x y/n#poly!wolfstar x you#poly!wolfstar x self insert#poly!wolfstar fanfiction#poly!wolfstar fanfic#poly!wolfstar fic#poly!wolfstar series#poly!wolfstar enemies to lovers#poly!wolfstar hurt/comfort#poly!wolfstar angst#poly!wolfstar imagine#poly!wolfstar scenario#poly!wolfstar drabble#poly!wolfstar blurb#poly!wolfstar oneshot#poly!wolfstar one shot#remus lupin x sirius black#sirius black x reader#remus lupin x reader#remus lupin x sirius black x reader#wolfstar x reader#sirius black#remus lupin#figure skater!sirius#figure skater!reader#coach!remus
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donât be alarmed, this is my loudest roar
1465 words // rated g
8x15-16 spec, major character death
Dad had warned him, in the car. He already knew Bobby is dead, thatâs why they left Texas so fast instead of waiting for spring break or maybe the end of the school year like they were starting to talk about. Chris was in the room when the phone call had come in and Eddieâs face had gone all- wide. Itâs weird to think about. Bobby, Captain Nash. Itâs like a principal or a librarian dying. Not so much a person in Chrisâ mind but an architectural feature, a fundamental truth of the way the world is. Heâll visit dad at work and Bobby will give him a grilled cheese with grapes on the side and show him the fire trucks again even though heâs seen them a million times already. And now he wonât, because heâs not alive, because principals and librarians are real people who breathe and bleed and can stop doing those things. Itâs weird.
So thatâs not what Dad warned him about. Itâs after their last stop for gas, where Chris tried to stretch out the ache of sitting in a car for so long and Dad ran off out of hearing again, like he did at every other gas stop, phone pressed to his ear. Theyâre back in the car and on the highway again and Eddieâs knuckles are tight against the steering wheel and he clears his throat.
âMijo,â he says. âChris.â He glances over at the passenger seat, then keeps his eyes on the road. âWhen we get there- when we get home Buck is gonna be there.â Chris knows that, knows Buck moved in. He dreams- daydreams, not quite asleep enough for it to be anything other than wishful thinking, about him and Buck and Dad all in one house forever, and always knowing where both of them are and that theyâre safe. He can almost hear snoring down the hall if he closes his eyes hard enough. âAnd⌠I just want to tell you, he-â Eddieâs knuckles creak on the wheel. âHim and Bobby were really close, you know? He⌠Bobby was kind of like his dad. So- so heâs really upset right now, and I just want to tell you that before we get there because- because weâre going to have to be gentle with him, okay?â Chris nods, Eddie nods. âAnd because I know⌠it can be kinda scary, when someone you- you care about is hurting.â Chris nods again, like he doesnât know that, like his stomach hasnât wobbled anytime Eddieâs voice has in this conversation. âI donât want you to be scared. Weâre going to be okay. Buck will be okay.â Eddie lets go of the steering wheel for a minute, stretches his fingers out, grabs back on again. âWeâre gonna take care of him.â That seems obviously true, so Chris doesnât nod a third time.
So, here they are now, at the house. Still labelled home in Chrisâ mind, on one of those little pieces of tape with the raised up letters like Mrs. Hanrahan had all over everything in third grade, like theyâd somehow forget what a pencil is and where to put it away. The lawn is mowed and the door is open and it looks so much the same that Chris feels like crying a little but doesnât. Eddie gets out of the car first, and doesnât bother with bags or anything because out of the house-
Buck. Chris imagines the shelf he lives on in his mind, stored close to home and Dad. He thinks heâd need more than one little strip of tape for him. Friend and safe and firefighter and family and- he doesnât know. He thinks he hasnât learned the words yet to describe the kind of hurting he feels when he thinks about Buck. Not a bad hurting. Kind of like loneliness, like wanting somebody there, but it happens even when Buck is there. Chris doesnât know. Dad is on the porch now and heâs holding Buck, different than a hug, in some way Chris also doesnât know how to describe. Sometimes it feels like Chris doesnât know anything at all. He sits in the car and wishes he could drive so he could get his knuckles all tight on the wheel. He grabs the door handle and thinks itâs not really the same and then he opens the door, gets out of the car.
Buck meets him halfway down the path, spilling out of Dadâs arms as soon as he sees movement, rushing to meet him. Chris barely gets to look at him â red eyes, too much stubble, his hair is so curly now â before heâs being wrapped up in big arms, clutched against a warm body. âChris,â Buck says- Buck says. His voice, not over a phone. Chris squeezes his eyes shut tight and shakes his arms out of his crutches so he can hug back. âChris, Chris-â An earthquake? No- no, just Buck. âGod- God, kid, I missed you- I missed you so much.â One of Buckâs armâs remains locked around him and the other roams, hand clutching his shoulder and then cradling his head, smoothing over his back. And heâs- heâs crying. Big ugly crying. Chris canât see it but he can hear it and feel it, above and around him. âIâm sorry, Iâm s-sorry.â For what? Chris shakes his head. Itâs okay. Heâs sort of frightened but Eddie had warned him so itâs okay. âSorry- youâre here, youâre here- oh- oh God-â Chris feels Buckâs face press into the top of his head. Heâs still tall enough to do that easily, despite all Dadâs teasing about how big Chris has grown. Dad is here too, Chris vaguely hears him say something close by, but mostly what he hears is Buck sobbing. Chris holds on as tight as he can. He is scared. Heâs scared, despite the warning, because- Buck is crying, Buckâs not okay, and there have been so many- all those other times when the world ended Buck was- Chris has seen him cry before but not like this, and it makes him feel sick a little. And- guilty a little, bad a little, because- he knows Mom missed him when she left. Heâs pretty sure. He knows Dad missed him when they were apart. Heâs pretty sure. Heâs very sure, Dad has told him itâs true, and thereâs a kind of quiet something-else mixed in with his happiness when theyâre together now. Relief? Loneliness for someone next to you? But. Buck shakes and cries and itâs loud and frightening and itâs proof.
âI missed you,â Chris says. Heâs not even sure anyone hears him, all muffled into Buckâs sweatshirt. âI missed you, too.â
âLetâs get inside,â Eddie is saying, and his hand is on Chrisâ shoulder, and that is so familiar-unchanged makes him want to cry, too. âAlright, itâs okay, lets get inside.â
Buck gasps a few times above him, pulling in air like heâs going to jump in a pool- jump into water, after Chris. Maybe Chris is crying already. Itâs hard to tell. And then Buck pulls back just a little, straightens up, and there he is looking down at him. He looks rough and wrecked and so real Chris sort of realizes heâs not dreaming, which he already knew but- understands, now. Itâs real, and Bobby is dead, and theyâre not in Texas, and he wishes he never left because the house is the same but everything feels different now, and Buck is frowning now, a different kind of frown, careful and worried and his hand is on Chris face, calloused thumb very soft brushing across his cheek. âOh, Chris, hey. Hey, youâre okay.â
âI love you,â Chris says, and the label on the shelf should really just say Buck, because doesnât that mean all of the rest of it? What did Buck label Bobby, on his shelves? âI want to go home- I want to come home, I want to come home, Iâm sorry, I want to come home.â
âWeâre here,â Eddie says, kissing Chrisâ head so close to where Buckâs fingers rest. âItâs okay-â his voice cracks but Dad and Buck were always a team and one will pick up a thought where the other dropped it.
âItâs okay, Chris,â Buck says, and his voice is still wet and raspy, but- theyâll all be in one house and maybe Chris isnât the only one who needs that to be true. Maybe itâs okay to want that to be true. âLetâs get inside. Letâs-â he looks at Eddie, almost a question that seems to be answered before he even asks it. Chris can feel him breathing, his lungs expanding and collapsing and expanding again, and again. Quietly, he says âLetâs go home.â
#major character death#mcd#my writing#christopher diaz#eddie diaz#evan buckley#buddie#sort of around the edges#Bobby Nash#this is for Kaitlin who i sent a sad dm to and told me to write a fic about it
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why... â§Ë ŕź â・ Ë



your college years that were filled being known as "heeseung's girlfriend" are all brought back to you when you and your ex reunite at a popular youtube show
lee heeseung x reader
genre: angst, heartbreak, exes reunited, chaebol!heeseung, brothers bsf!heeseung
warnings: profanity, recalling trauma from a relationship, miscommunication, 18+
masterlist - wc: 4583
as you sit on the stiff couch inside of the dressing room, you think about how you were going to react after seeing your ex for the first time in 2 years. would you feel angry? maybe. what about sadness? probably, you were a crier after all. happy? highly unlikely.Â
you didnât even know you felt in this specific moment and it brought you back to one of the last conversations you and heeseung had before you had finally decided to fully go no contact with him.Â
it was a few days after you had told him you wanted to break up, a 3 hour conversation that ended with you crying and leaving heeseungâs apartment while he fought with his inner demons on whether or not he should run after you.Â
to which he didnât but you soon found yourself back at his apartment the next day to get whatever you had left behind.Â
the interaction was awkward, neither of you wanted to speak but yet you both had so much to say. it was like walking over eggshells in an empty room, every sound the two of you made echoed and amplified the tension between you two.Â
âdo you really want this?â heeseung whispered, hanging onto the last bit of hope he had that you didnât want to break up even though he knew there was no use in trying.Â
âiâ i donât know what i want hee..â you murmured, choosing to keep your gaze on his front door because you were afraid that the tears building up at your waterline would fall if you looked into his eyes. those eyes that held so much hope and love for you, but all you could see inside them was the reflection of an unrecognizable girl. you were losing yourself and you didnât know what to do aside from isolate yourself. so thatâs what you did.Â
âtell me how you feel? please.. anythingâ iâll do anything to fix thisââÂ
âi donât even know how i feel! ok, hee? i donât know! iâmâÂ
iâm so lost and i just canât keep doing this..â you finally decide to look at heeseung and to your surprise, he has tears of his own streaking down his pale skin. it was a lie.Â
you knew how you felt but you couldnât bring yourself to verbalize it to him. how could you possibly explain to your boyfriend that although he loved you dearly and would do anything for you, all you felt was the insecurity of being the one he called the love of his life.Â
your brother was right when you said that being heeseungâs girlfriend was going to be hard, he didnât mean anything by it aside from the fact that the life heeseung lived was under constant observation and that anyone he associated with would also be put under that spotlight.Â
but you didnât care, because you loved heeseung and heeseung loved you.Â
that was until you felt like you were being torn apart by the judgemental stares and snide remarks by strangers who would look at the both of you whenever youâd be out walking hand in hand. or the comments people would leave online about âthe unknown girlâ that heeseung was with.Â
they hadnât even bothered to learn your name, they just called you âunknownâ and after being referred to by so many people for so long; thatâs how you began to see yourself.Â
unknown.Â
forgetting about who you really were and if it wasnât the unknown girl then it was just âheeseungâs girlfriendâ. sure that title was nice to have and you loved being his girlfriend, but it was starting to mess with your head. the insecurity building inside of you that the only thing youâd ever be known for was being heeseungâs girlfriend. nothing else.Â
not the girl who graduated top of her class in university.Â
not the girl who worked tirelessly doing research in stem cell regeneration since the age of 16.Â
âynâ come with me, weâre about to start filming.â the kind PA poked her head into the waiting room and motioned for you to follow her. you werenât even nervous, but your hands were a bit sweaty so you patted them dry on your jeans as you stood up from the couch and followed the girl.Â
what would heeseung be like after two years? would he be just as kind and understanding? or would he harbor a form of resentment towards you?Â
either way, you werenât necessarily ecstatic to see him again.Â
you ended your relationship without a sufficient explanation so you wouldnât blame heeseung if he held a grudge against you. you just hoped that this interview would open the floor for a long awaited discussion and possibly some resolve.Â
once you arrive to the set, the PA tells you to wait a moment and you could hear heeseung introducing himself from the other side of the wall, once heeseung was done she instructs you to walk onto the set and stop on the small X on the ground in front of the camera and to introduce yourself, then to take a seat in the empty stool.Â
easy enough, you thought to yourself but as youâre doing just that, the sight of heeseung has you at a loss for words, accidentally halting just as you round the corner and he comes into view. he was as handsome as ever, maybe even more.Â
his boyish looks from university had transformed into mature and charming features, but his smile was the same. a smile, thatâs good right? heâs smiling at you when you arrive which means that he was being cordial at the slightest.Â
âmaam, please come forward.â the producer instructs from being the camera and youâre shaken out of your thoughts, rushing forward to the spot you were originally supposed to stop at, apologizing to him for the inconvenience.Â
you quickly introduce yourself similar to how heeseung did just a few minutes ago and when you take the seat across from heeseung, heâs still smiling at you. âyou look beautiful by the way.â he whispers, slightly leaning in as if he was too shy to say it outloud. you gave him a tight lipped smile in return just before the producer asked the first question.Â
how long did you guys date?
you both looked up at the same time, eyes locking in the moment as the words slipped out of both of your lips simultaneously, âthree yearsâ and heeseung was chuckling at the sound of your voices blending in with each other. you roll your eyes at his laughter but deep down you loved to hear it.Â
it all started when your brother introduced the two of you, they were a part of the same hockey team at your university and although he told you that heeseung lived a completely different life from your own, it didnât stop you from falling in love with the sweet boy who sent you loving glances and careful advances whenever your brother wasnât around.Â
you soon learned heeseung came from a well off family, well off being a generous term as he was set for life with the amount of money his family made. you on the other hand, have had to work for everything you had in life and you didnât care that you had to. you were raised on grit and determination and when you set your eye on something, you would try your hardest to get it.Â
and so did heeseung. even though you had fallen for him very quickly, the stark difference in your lives was just too vast that you couldnât bring yourself to say yes whenever heeseung would ask you.Â
his endless advances however, werenât in vain as you inevitably agreed to one date, which turned to a second date, and then a third, and eventually you were heeseungâs girlfriend.Â
and thatâs all you would be for the next three years.Â
what was your first date?
the question catches you off guard, not because of its outlandish mannerâ but because you had totally forgotten about that date. it was one of the happiest days of your life because after rejecting heeseung for so long, you were so happy to have finally said yes because everything about the date was perfect. the only thing that made you forget about it was your determination to rid your mind of everything heeseung.Â
something you simply couldnât do.Â
âshe kept rejecting me⌠but it wasnât going to stop me from trying even harder to get her to go on a date with meâ not on some weirdo shit though. i promise i know how to take no as an answerâ heeseung says, chuckling at the end as he clarifies that he wasnât being overbearing with his attempts.Â
âdefinitely not, he was always sweet; it was me that was saying no because i wanted to play hard to get.â you clarifiedâ heeseung nodding eagerly with a smile as you backed up his words.Â
âwhen she finally said yes, i took her to an arcadeâ which is a bit unusual for a first date, but she said that she had never been to one because most of her life was focused on studies so she never had the chance to play video games and stuff.
so i thought it would be nice to take her to an arcade to show her some of my favorite games i playedâ she wasnât very good at the games but it was really nice to see her smile and laugh. then after that we sat on the field near han river and had ramyeon for dinner.â heeseung says, laughing at the end as he recalled one of the happiest moments in his life because he was able to make you smile so brightly.Â
whenever you were happy, so was heeseung.Â
who said i love you first?
âme.â heeseung chirps, slightly bouncing in his seat with a smile; like he was so excited to tell everyone about it. âi wanted it to be some romantic thing, where i say i love you for the first timeâ but it was more of an in-the-moment type thing..Â
i was going to plan a really nice and fancy date, an expensive dinner with a wine that we couldnât pronounce and then i was going to take her to stargaze because thatâs one of her favorite things to doâ but one night, we were just in bed, doing our own thing.Â
i remember it so vividly because again, yn had the biggest smile on her face when i said it. we were just scrolling on our phones and i was staring at her for the longestâ just admiring her and being so happy to have her in my life.Â
when yn noticed that i was staring at her, she just looked up at me with a weird expression and i just couldnât help myself and i just had to tell her i loved her then and there.â heeseung shared another happy moment that was filled with joy and love between the two of you; the joy doubled in amount as the two of you relished in the tender moment.Â
you remember being caught off guard with heeseungâs comment.. like you couldnât believe his words even though heâs never done anything to lead you on or make you believe his words werenât genuine.Â
if heeseung was one thing, it was genuine.Â
with you.Â
100% of the time.
what do you think was the cause of your breakup?
this question catches you off guard again, you werenât expecting it after all of the heartfelt questions priorâ it came as a shock to hear it because you were just thinking about happy moments just a few minutes ago.Â
you glance at the floor as you think about answering, unsure if heeseung was going to speak up first like he has been doing for the last few questions, but all he does is clear his throat and sit in his seatâ like he was waiting for you to answer. and so you did.Â
âumâ i think it was me.. there were a lot of things that contributed to it, i thinkâ but in the end i ultimately made the decision to bring up the idea of breaking up and although neither of us wanted toâŚÂ
i think it was what was best for me..â you explained, not wanting to go into detail of that night.Â
â§Ë ŕź â・ Ë
âi think we should breakup..â you blurted out as you and heeseung sat in silence. heeseungâs eyes set on yours as those words leave your lips. a dreaded sentence that heeseung never thought would leave either of your mouths.Â
heeseung loved you so much, he did everything he could to show you his love, but after you uttered those wordsâ it made him rethink everything. had he not been a good boyfriend? did he make you feel unloved? was he not enough?Â
the only thing heeseung could respond with was a stutter. he couldnât believe the words he had just heard come out of your lips. those lips that he loved so much. soft and pillowy, it always made him weak in the knees whenever he felt your lips on his.Â
but right now the weakness in his legs were because he felt like he was about to faintâ a ringing in his ears that was drowning everything out. he watched you as you explained how you felt, bearing your emotions to him but he couldnât hear a thing. he was blinking endlessly and his vision was beginning to blur the longer he stared at you.Â
âhee? are you ok?â you asked, snapping him out of his daze.Â
âwhy? did i do something? iâm sorryâ iâll fix it, please. let me fix it, anything. iâll do anything, yn donât leave me.. please.â it all comes out as one run on sentence as heeseung shuffles to your side, arms latching onto your waist as he pleads for you to change your mind.Â
it breaks your heart to see him like that, the boy who was always so happy to be around you now held so much heartache in his eyes. you knew that you were breaking his heart by doing this, but yours was already shattered having to do it.Â
âheeâ please..â you began, slightly pulling away but heeseung wasnât letting up, arms still firmly wrapping around you.Â
âheeseung.. i donât.. this isnât going to work out.â you whispered and heeseung looked at you with his big doe eyes, the lights of his apartment reflecting in them but all you could see was the lack of joy.Â
heeseung asksâ begsâ you to elaborate. hoping that within your explanation he could find a solution.Â
your brother was right, heeseung did live an extremely different life from your own, and you thought you could handle it but it all came down on you a lot harder than you expected. at first, it was just the glances from strangers, something you could easily brush off but then it progressed into something that followed you everywhere. like it was haunting you.Â
people had begun to refer to you solely as âheeseungâs girlfriendâ and although heeseung did his best to introduce you as your own person or have you introduce yourself, it just didnât have the same ring as âheeseungâs girlfriendâ.Â
heeseungâs parents were also never fond of you. they wanted him to marry a woman in his tax bracket, a girl whoâs family was as powerful as his and not a girl who had to rely on scholarships and intelligence to get far in life.Â
like it was looked down upon that youâve had to work hard your whole life and not something to admire about a person.Â
because of who heeseung was as a person, however not to his own accord but simply because of the circumstances he was born in, it became hard to be someone that stood by him. not because you couldnât stand beside heeseung, no, youâd stand by him and everything he did and believed in if it was the last thing you could do..Â
but standing beside him physically made you feel small.Â
like youâd never live up to any of the expectations the world had for you even if all that shouldâve mattered was heeseungâs and he did everything he could to reassure you that he didnât care what his parents thought, or what the rich socialites at the galaâs heâd take you would think, or what the tabloids would say about his âunknown girlfriendâ.Â
he loved you no matter what and you wished so damn hard that his words were enough to silence all of the voices inside of your head.Â
but they werenât.Â
âmy love, you know that those peopleâs words donât mean anything. i love you for who you are, i donât care about any of those materialistic things, youâre the only person whoâs ever made me feel like i wasnât just a person attached to my last name..Â
and i love you regardless of anything anyone says about you, all i care about is you.â heeseung utters, hands gently cupping your face as he begs for you to throw all your doubts away and to just listen to him and feel the love he has for youâ hoping that it was enough.Â
but it wasnât.Â
â§Ë ŕź â・ Ë
what is something you want to say to them that you didnât get the chance to?
the two of you had previously needed to take a break, a wave of emotions washing over the two of you because of the previous questionâ both of you seemingly recalling the night of your breakup, a quiet sob leaving your lips as you try your best to collect yourself while heeseung fights off the same tears from cascading down his face.Â
youâd think with two people that felt so strongly and lovingly about the other would stay together, especially with the way you both were reacting to it right now, but there were just too many insecurities in your way to let heeseung hold you close and tell you that it was going to be okayâ
no matter how hard he tried.Â
âi think with everything that was going on the night that we broke up, i was just crying so much i donât think i was fully able to share how i felt and it wasnât fair to you that i simply left it at âwe need to break upâ without going further on why..Â
our friends, my brother specifically, would tell me how much of a wreck you were after we broke up and it broke my heart even more knowing that i left you with so much to think about and neither of us ever got closure from it. so iâm really sorry that i wasnât able to communicate better but it was just so hard because i didnât want you to feel like it was your faultâ which it never was, itâs never been your faultâ but i think i ended up making you feel that way regardless.Â
so i just want to say iâm sorry heeseung. iâm sorry i left you with that burden and made it seem like you werenât doing enough to console me and to dispel my concerns because you truly were, you were so patient with me and showed me all the love you had inside of you but i just couldnât shake this feeling like..Â
like i wasnât enough for you or that i didnât deserve to be loved by you. itâs not your fault and i just let all of those comments and judgemental glares get the better of me and it flooded my mind with insecurities that i just.. i just ended up drowning in it.âÂ
thinking about it now, you werenât sure why it was so hard to tell him this a few years ago but it was all coming out so naturally now; maybe it was because some time has passed and youâve been able to heal from some of it. definitely not all of it, but some.Â
heeseung looked at you with tears in his eyes, a sense of sympathy welling in chest as he thought about what you mustâve had to go through. heeseung knew you felt a certain way about how people perceived you because of the status he and his family had and he tried his best to show you that you were the only thing that mattered but sometimes insecurities and the harsh words of our own minds were our biggest enemies.Â
you had your own battles to deal with and so did heeseung.Â
âi wish i couldâve done more to help youâ you did, heeseung. you did so much but it was.. it was me, not you..â you interrupt him when he begins to blame himself again, something that you wished he wouldnât do.Â
âi know it sounds cliche to say it but it wasnât you, it was me.â you whispered.Â
âwell.. thank you for telling me how you feel and iâm still sorry that you had to go through that at my expense. i know you want to say that it was you and not me but i canât help but feel responsible for that. it was rooted in something that was connected to me and at the end of the day, itâs something that i have to bear and i wish we couldâve gone through it together..Â
maybe if i tried even more, showed people how much i loved you even louder, fought and pushed back against those who made comments about you instead of consoling you in private. i shouldâve done more to show the world that you are what mattered to me most instead of whispering it into your ears as we laid silently in my bed.
iâm sorry that i couldnât do more for us..âÂ
heeseungâs words came out more as a revelation than a confession. like he was, in that moment, realizing what wrongs he shouldâve corrected. he wished he couldâve loved you and rubbed it in everyone's face. like he was the proudest man on earth to have you by his side as his girl instead of leaving it to silent whispers in private.Â
do you regret breaking up?
the question hung heavily in the room. neither of you didnât know how to answer it because as much as the both of you would like to say you do regret it, time has passed since then and the both of you have changed and donât know how your lives would be if you chose to stay together.Â
would you have continued to harbor these insecurities and have it build up inside of you? inevitably spilling and bursting out of you, resulting in a messier break up that couldâve been more heartbreaking than the one you had?Â
or would you have learned to overcome those insecurities with the help of heeseung who only loved you more and more as the days went by.Â
neither of you were sure.Â
âi do.. i regret it because i shouldâve fought harder for her.. it might sound dramatic but itâs my biggest regret to this day.â heeseung said, a sense of certainty in his words that youâve only seen whenever heeseung would tell you how much he loved you.Â
âi donât know.. i wish i could say i had a definite answerâ but i donât. clearly i still have a lot of insecurities to get through and break out of, but i do know that i donât regret loving heeseung. thatâs for sure.âÂ
if you could, would you get back together?
âyesâ heeseung blurts out, like he was in a competition and had to answer as fast as he could. he didnât care if he came off as desperate or pitiful, he wanted to show everyone, including you, that he still loved you and would take you back in a heartbeat.Â
â100%, yes.â heeseung adds, looking at you with a longing gazeâ waiting for your answer, in hopes that youâd have the same answer.Â
âi wouldnât be opposed to it.â you responded, a smile creeping up on heeseungâs lips as you answered.Â
it made him so happy and heâll take any chance he gets to get you back.Â
â§Ë ŕź â・ Ë
âcan we try again?â heeseung asks.Â
heeseung had asked you if you wanted to grab dinner after filming, it was pretty late when the two of you finished recording your episode because you had to constantly take breaks in between the questions because one of you would cry too much.Â
that was something you admired about heeseung, he was so in touch with his emotions and wasnât afraid to cry.Â
heeseung had your hands in his, thumbs rubbing your knuckles softly as he waited for your answer, hoping that it would be âyes.âÂ
âyeah.â you smile and nodâ and that single word was able to invoke a type of happiness inside of heeseung that he hasnât felt in a long time. a type of happiness that he only felt with you.Â
heeseung is instantly wrapping you in his arms, swaying the both of you side to side, paying no mind to the glares that the two of you were getting from all of the people in the restaurant you were having dinner in.Â
and for the next two months, you and heeseung become one again. your heart mending itself as you two would spend time together, healing from the heartbreak of two years ago. heeseung would tell you he loved you everyday and kept his promise about loving you outwardly and unapologetically.Â
everything was going well, until it wasn't.Â
getting back together didnât last long as you soon both realized that although you were back together, it didnât have the same type of spark you two had in the past. like how even though your hearts were no longer shattered and were whole again, it didnât shine in the light like it used to.Â
like it was tainted and neither of you could figure out how to get back to the way you both felt as college students.Â
maybe it was just a type of love that you grow out of.Â
you and heeseung still loved each other but this time around, things were just too different that you couldnât help but delve in the past, your history eventually catching up to the both of you even though you were both trying so hard to keep it together.Â
âso.. this is it, huh?â heeseung asks, biting down on his lip as he awkwardly stands in front of you, your hands in his once again.Â
âi think so..â you sniffled, trying your best to smile when there wasnât anything to smile about.Â
âiâll always love you, even if we didnât work out.â you said, pulling him into a hug, your face softly pressed against his chest as heeseung wraps his arms around you. rubbing your back gently and wishing that he never had to let go. your bodies molded together so perfectly, he couldnât believe that you werenât perfect together.Â
âiâll never stop loving you, yn. you will always have a place in my heart.â he mutters, placing a gentle kiss onto your forehead. a last kiss that your skin would soon forget as time passed but your heart would forever fond over.Â
copyright 2025 - present Š hoonieyun all rights reserved all writing here is fiction & not in any association with characters mentioned. if you enjoyed reading this please consider reblogging and following <3
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#kiki diaries#enhypen#en-diaries#kpop#kpop au#kpop fic#kpop fanfic#kpop fanfiction#enha#fanfiction#enhypen au#enhypen scenarios#enhypen x reader#lee heeseung#heeseung x reader
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Hey guys
Long post ahead
I already sent my success story to lavender privately but I decided to share it publicly as well.
I'm George and this us my success story. I will not create a blog or anything like that because I just want to drop my success story and enjoy my life.
I have lived a very hard life. If I explain everything here it will take days. I will cut the story short. I'm 19, I graduated from high school last year but unfortunately my family had no money for me to advance my studies. I got a job as a gardener to help raise money for my education. I worked for a very wealthy family. I did my job very well and took pride in it. I was making honest money after all. My bosses had two children, a boy (20) and a girl (16).
Not to sound cocky, I am quite good looking and well built. Because of this, my boss and her daughter both took interest in me. I never reciprocated because that was not what I was there for. My boss offered to pay me but I still refused. I needed the money but my morals would not allow me. When I would stay up late thinking about my problems sometimes I would just think about accepting her offer but I just don't think I would have been able to live with myself if I accepted.
One day my sister told me about loa. I thought it was all fake but when she manifested some money out of nowhere i started to believe. I would scroll through tumblr seeing other people's success stories and i felt motivated. One time i managed to manifest a pay increase even though my bosses were very stingy. This made me very happy.
My boss kept bothering me. She even offered to pay for my education but I still refused. I was on Tumblr one day when i came across the sweet Lavender's post. I felt very overwhelmed that day so i sent an ask. I vented and to my surprise she sent me a dm. She assured me that everything will be ok and said that anytime i need someone to talk to i could talk to her. Sometimes i felt alone even though my sister and i were very close, there were some things i didnt want to tell her. From that time we would talk frequently and she would encourage me to maintain the state of wish fulfilled and everything will be fine.
Eventually my boss stopped asking me to sleep with her and I was relieved because I thought it was over. I was wrong to believe this.
My bosses daughter started wearing revealing clothing to try to entice me but I always said no. One day after work, my boss invited me inside the house so he could go upstairs to get my payment. While I was waiting, his daughter came and this time she wasn't willing to take no for an answer. She grabbed my and I pushed her away a little bit too hard and she fell to the ground. She started crying and when her father came back down stairs she accused me of trying to force myself on her. She made up so many horrible things about me that I will not repeat here. I tried to deny but her father did not listen. He called the police and I was arrested.
When I got to the police station I tried to tell them the truth but no one believed me. The police officers said that even if i am telling the truth my bosses will make sure i die in prison. I live in a third world country which is very corrupt and my bosses were very wealthy. I knew that they could have me spend the rest of my life behind bars. I wasn't even allowed to call anyone to tell them what happened. The police officers told the guys shared the cell with what I was arrested for and the beat me up. I spent the night in a disgusting cell with real criminals. It smelt like piss. The floor was wet and i spent the night in the corner hoping the guys wouldn't beat me up again. The next day a young police officer let me use his phone and I called my sister. She cried and told me that I should stay strong and because even though the situation seems hopeless, I can still be released. After the call, I felt calm because I knew that nothing is impossible. I remembered my conversations with Lavender and I felt strong. I spent the whole day affirming the guys left me alone Thankfully. The next morning to my surprise, I was released.
I was so happy I almost cried. When I got home my mom and sister cried because of the state I was in when I got home. My sister told me that she spent the whole night crying and affirming.
That night I told Lavender everything and she told me to try using the void state. I had heard of it and tried it a few time but it didn't work. I was in so much pain but I decided to give it one more try and it actually worked! All I did was lay down and say "I am in the void state" the everything was black. I feel like this post is already way too long and I'm tired of typing so I will post another one tomorrow to tell you what I manifested.
I can't thank Lavender enough for her support. I actually don't have words to express how grateful I am â¤ď¸
I just cried reading this even though I know the story. I feel like a proud mother đđđ
There's no reason to thank me because you did it all on your own â¤ď¸â¤ď¸â¤ď¸
#loa tumblr#loassumption#reality shifting#desired reality#void state#void success#Lavender's success stories
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you will not always want to shatter
Arthur Leclerc x Female!Reader
Part 2
Summary: When Arthur has a bad day, an unexpected person makes everything a little better. (When retelling this story to his brothers, many things will be left out)Â
Warnings: mentions of workplace bullying (in the sense of people being dicks to Arthur cause he's not Charles), hurt/comfort, mentions of mature themes for like 2 lines, texts
Word Count: 3.6k words
Estimated Reading Time: 16 minutes
A/N: "A man is never as hot as when he's depressed." -Miah, 2025
Sebastian Vettel cameo because I love him. Also, reader is connected to the world of motorsports but I won't tell you how because where's the fun in that? You'll have to read to find out ;)
Title from Shelby Leigh's book girl made of glass
Masterlists | Formula One RI Masterlist | Taglist

Why do bad things happen to good people?
Or, more accurately in this instant, why do good things happen to bad people making the good people suffer because the bad people are fucking diâ
A knock on his car window brought him out of his self-pity spiral, making him raise his head from the steering wheel. Only to come face to face with a stranger, which⌠what?
Because he has no survival instincts (Lorenzo would probably yell at him for it when Arthur told him this story later), he rolled down the window.
âUm, hi?â
The stranger smiled. Later on, when retelling this to Lorenzo, heâd say she smiled in a cheery way, not a psychopathic way. Or a creepy serial killer way. Just in a normal, friendly way.
âTough day?â
Arthur squinted, taking in her cheery smile, kind eyes, and graphic t-shirt with the quote âwomen are born to serve menâ... with a manâs head on platter. Okay, so maybe keep that detail out of the retelling. But one thing was true, she looked⌠familiar.
âSorry, do I know you?â
She pursed her lips.
âI donât know, do you watch a lot of porn? Try imagining me with my top off, see if it rings any bells.â
He spluttered, feeling his face grow hot. Thereâs no way. Thereâs actually no way he came across a porn actress and recognised her. He doesnât even watch it that often, and his memoryâs not that good, so howâ
A snort stopped his panicking.
âHeavens, you should see your face! Calm down, pretty boy. Iâm your neighbour, flat directly in front of yours.â
When retelling this story to Lorenzo, he would definitely keep this out. He glared at her, seeing the cheeky smirk still on her face.
âThat wasnât funny.â
âIt was a little funny.â
He sighed and leaned his head against the headrest, eyes suddenly growing heavy.
âIâm sorry I didnât recognise you, I probably havenât been the most cordial neighbour, but I travel a lot for work andââ
She cut him off with a gentle smile.
âI know, donât worry about that. This is Monaco, in case youâve forgotten. I know who you are, Arthur Leclerc.â
Right, he shouldâve thought of that.
âOh, Iâm sorry, did you want a picture?â
She rolled her eyes.
âIâm surprised you fit into that helmet of yours with how big your head is. No, Arthur, I donât want a picture. I came here to see if you were okay cause you were banging your head on the steering wheel so hard I was afraid youâd give yourself a concussion. I canât let you die, the whole nation would be in shambles.â
He felt a small smile creep in.
âHow thoughtful, very patriotic.â
âI know, right? Now come on, get out of the car, I was gonna bake cookies so you can come in and have some.â
He straightened up in his seat.
âOh, thatâs okay, I donât mean to be a botherââ
âOut of the car Arthur, donât make me count to three.â
For the record, he got out of the car because he wanted to, not because she told him to. Although, the bright smile on her face was a nice reward.
âDonât forget to lock the car.â
â
âUm⌠What is that?â
She hummed noncommittally, setting her shopping bag on the kitchen counter.Â
âWhatâs what?â
He pointed at the four-legged thing sniffing at his shoes.
âThis thing, itâs getting close to me, is it gonna bite me?â
She finally turned around, only to laugh softly.
âShe is my cat. Her nameâs Circe. Donât worry, she wonât bite you, sheâs a sweetheart.â
As if to prove her point, she picked the cat up and nuzzled it to her face, making soft cooing noises.
âGonna make friends with the neighbour, Ceecee? Think he needs some good cuddles to get rid of the bad day he had.â
The cat simply purred and licked at her nose, bumping their heads together over and over again.
âGo sit on the couch, Arthur, come on. You can put your jacket on that hanger, shoes go next to the door.â
He did as told. Mostly because he didnât see the point in arguing, a little because she seemed particularly pleased whenever he did as she said.
âIâm sorry, I didnât catch your name.â
âI didnât throw it.â
He rolled his eyes, coming to sit on the surprisingly comfortable couch. It felt like a cloud. He could definitely fall asleep here.
âThatâs not what I meant. Can you tell me your name?â
She moved over to him, cat still in her hands.
âI can, but whatâs the fun in that?â
She set the cat down on his lap and he held his breath, waiting for it to attack.
âIf you donât tell me I donât know what to call you, also, Iâm really more of a dog person.â
The cat moved around a bit and lifted her paws one after the other, like she was trying to test whether or not his lap was an acceptable resting place.
âEveryoneâs a cat person, even if they say they arenât.â
âAre you quoting Sebastian Vettel but comparing your cat to Ferrari?â
She shrugged.
âItâs a good quote, also, she likes you.â
The cat had her front paws on his chest, raising herself up until she could reach his lips with her nose. It felt a little like she was sniffing at them. Then she rubbed her cheek against his jaw, once, twice, and a third time, before curling up into a ball on his lap, purring away.
âOh⌠Thatâs kind of niceâŚâ
The vibrations were quite soothing. He hesitantly brought his hand to her fur, a mix of orange, black, and brown, with a couple white spots here and there.
âSheâs so softâŚâ
Circe flipped onto her back, curled into a C shape, front paws in the air, giving him full access to her belly. When he caressed it, hesitantly again, the purring got even louder.
âTry under her chin, itâs her favourite spot.â
He did as told once again, taking one finger and running it back and forth under her chin, seeing Circeâs eyes flutter and her whole body going lax.
Despite having been privy to Max and Charlesâ conversations over the years, particularly the Dogs Vs. Cat Debacle that starts up again every other week, Arthur has never understood Maxâs love for the creatures.Â
He most certainly does now.
When telling this story to Charles, heâll leave out that part. Arthur was a patient man but even he didnât have the strength to reassure his brother that Leo was cuter and fluffier for the hour it would take Charles to stop feeling betrayed. Especially because heâs not sure heâd be very convincing.
Five minutes with this cat and she had him wrapped around her finger. Heâd be worried if he wasnât having such a good time.
âSo, wanna tell me what had you contemplating death by steering wheel?â
It seemed that while heâd been letting Circe work her magic on him, heâd failed to notice the woman moving towards the kitchen. She stood in front of the kitchen island, ingredients spread all around her (which, how long was he distracted?), and with her eyes focused on a battered old notebook. The open plan of her kitchen and living room meant they were able to communicate perfectly fine, and suddenly, he wished they couldnât.
âOh, um, you know⌠Nothing important, really, just me being dumbâŚâ
He kept his eyes on the cat, soothingly running his hands over the soft fur of her stomach once again.
âArthurâŚâ
He hummed.
âArthur, look at me.â
Itâs crazy how following her instructions became almost automatic to him not even thirty minutes after theyâd first met. He should look into that. Maybe she was a witch.
âAnything that makes you feel bad is important, your feelings are important, and I want to listen to them even if itâs because of something you deem dumb. But for what itâs worth, I highly doubt it will be.â
He kept his eyes on her, searching them for any trace of insincerity, but found nothing but honesty and empathy.
âDo you understand, angel?â
He felt his cheeks flush at the casual pet name, but nodded nonetheless.
âWords, Arthur.â
âYes. I understand.â
Maybe he wouldnât tell this story to either of his brothers at all because having to explain why his voice broke and he felt breathless was not something he felt prepared to deal with.
But the soft smile on her face really was making him forget how to breathe.
âGood. Now tell me whatâs wrong, yeah? Itâll make you feel better.â
âYou donât have to listen to me, I donât wanna bother you, youâre doing enough as is.â
She stopped, lifting her eyes to him, bag of sugar held in the air as she was preparing to measure it.
âYou said it again.â
She squinted her eyes.
âSaid what?â
âBother. Before it was burden. And apologising for not being a better neighbour. Someone made you feel like youâre not enough, while also being too much at the same time. A subpar human and major annoyance. Am I right?â
He shrugged his shoulders, hoping she wouldnât make him answer the question. But she seemed to sense his discomfort, because she didnât ask him to speak this time.
âWell, whoever it is, theyâre wrong. Youâre not a burden, Arthur. Listening to you would be my pleasure, even if itâs for some petty thing. Get it off your chest. I promise I wonât judge or think youâre too much to handle.â
He looked at Circe, who had taken to licking his hand repeatedly. He felt flattered to be let into such a sanctuary, and to be blessed with such a wonderful creatureâs attention.
âI had a promo event this weekend. I donât know how much youâre aware of how things work in motorsports, but basically, even though I donât drive for them directly, Iâm still a part of Ferrariâs team. I help develop the cars, and occasionally do these little events for fans or other people in the business. Just regular media stuff.â
Even though she wasnât looking at him, focusing on making the cookies, he could tell she was paying close attention to his every word.
âSo, I was supposed to spend a weekend in Maranello, mostly doing sim work, but then I had a meet and greet with some fans. The sim work didnât go great, I was paired up with another driver whoâs just⌠young and arrogant, to be honest. He kept trying to undermine me in front of everyone, but it didnât seem to have worked very well. I was⌠truthfully I was a bit angry, because he got such a great opportunity, and he was just using it to try and pretend he was smarter than everyone, like he knew everything, trying to get ahead at othersâ expense.â
This time, when she tapped the egg on the counterâs edge to crack the shell, it shattered completely from the force she put behind it.
She blinked.
âOopsie.â
She didnât look the least bit sorry.
âContinue.â
âRight⌠Well, um, he was still with me when we went to meet the fans, and it was going pretty decently. We were signing a bunch of things, taking pictures, saying little fun facts about the factory, just the usual. And then he noticed that one of the fans had a picture of my brother on her phone case.â
She hummed.
âLorenzo? Yeah, I can see why, heâs quite handsome.â
He let out a breathy laugh, feeling himself relax slightly at her attempt to lighten the mood.
âUnfortunately, the general population much prefers Charles. But yeah, she had a picture of him on his phone case and the guy pointed it out. He said âIÂ hope youâre not too disappointed to have to see Arthur instead. Heâs like the Wish version of Charles, cause you just wish he was his brotherâ.â
He heard her inhale sharply but didnât remove his eyes from Circeâs fur.
âI laughed it off, you know, pretended it was a funny joke between friends, but⌠I donât know, itâs stupid. Itâs not like he was wrong, he just said what everyone else was thinking.â
It seemed like all it took was one blink of his eyes, but suddenly she was standing in front of him. She took his head in her hands, framing it and forcing him to look her in the eyes.
âYou listen to me and you listen carefully, Arthur Leclerc. You are not a burden, a disappointment, second-best, or a stand-in for your brother. Youâre an amazing person and an accomplished racer in your own right, and if someone canât see that, then itâs on them. That guy was a dick and Iâm half-tempted to drive down to Maranello myself so he can see what happens when someone talks back.â
He felt the tears heâd been keeping at bay for the past two days finally start to fall, watching her eyes flicker between his.
âYouâre not just Charles Leclercâs brother. Youâre Arthur Leclerc. Youâre you. And the worldâs a better place with you in it, do you understand?â
And that was apparently all it took to make him start sobbing like a child.
âOh, angel, come hereâŚâ
He barely processed Circe jumping off his lap when the woman sat on the couch, pulling him on top of her. She laid him down on his side, with his back to the backrest, and laid down next to him, resting his head on her chest. Her arms were around his head and shoulders, one leg pulled up over his body, and he could feel her pull down the heavy blanket so it could cover their bodies. He was completely enveloped by her and heâd never felt soâŚ
Safe.
He put his arms around her waist and hugged her tighter, cried harder, so hard his breathing was coming out in short bursts, making him feel like he was almost choking on his tears.
âShh, there you go, baby, let it all out, Iâm right here. Try to breathe for me, yeah? Itâs all gonna be okay.â
He couldnât say how long he stayed there like that, cradled in her arms, feeling her run her fingers through his hair and whisper soothing words into his ear. She never told him to stop crying, just kept reassuring him that she was here, to just let it all out, that sheâd take care of him.
When the tears finally dried up, his face felt hot and wet. There was a low pounding in his skull, and his breathing still felt a little bit laboured, but he felt lighter, in a way.
âThere you go. Does that feel better, darling?â
He nodded slowly, struggling to keep his eyes open.Â
âGood, let me go grab some things and Iâll be right back, okay?â
It felt like a herculean effort, to have to let her go, but he still did it, staring listlessly in front of him until she came back, kneeling in front of the couch.
âClose your eyes for me, angel.â
He didnât question it, just let them close and sighed at the feeling of a damp washcloth being gently rubbed over his face, wiping away the tears (and most likely snot, too).Â
âThere you go, baby, you did so good.â
He opened his eyes again to see her set down the washcloth and pick up a glass of water.
âThink you can get up and drink this for me?â
She ended up sitting back on the couch, holding him up with one arm while the other helped him get the glass to his mouth. He drank it all, per her request, and felt his eyes wanting to close again.Â
âIâm sorry, I donât know whatâs wrong with me.â
He heard the empty glass being put down before he felt her arms around him again.
âNothingâs wrong with you, darling, your bodyâs just tired. How long has it been since you slept or ate properly?â
He shrugged his shoulders. Truthfully, he couldnât remember.
âAnd judging by what I heard, you probably drove all the way from Maranello this morning, no?â
He nodded.
âWanted to get home.â
âI know you did, lovely, but youâre exhausted. You had a very tiring weekend that, if I remember correctly, came right after a double-header, and even if it made you feel better, all this crying was most likely the breaking point. You need to let your body and your mind rest.â
He felt his breathing start to even out as she ran her fingers through his hair again.
âJust sleep, angel, Iâll look after you.â
That voice was certainly hard to resist.
âJust for five minutesâŚâ
He told himself he would just rest his eyes.
Five minutes, nothing more.
The last thing he heard was her voice, softly singing a lullaby in a language he didnât know.
â-â
Despite who her father was, (Y/n) had never been the type to stay quiet. Quite the opposite, she couldnât stop talking to save her life. She was loud and unapologetic in her expressiveness, never one to simply seethe in quiet anger.
But now, holding a sleeping Arthur to her chest, she felt the rage building up under the surface, silent and dangerous. She wanted to track down the guy who dared say such cruel things.
She forced herself to keep breathing, to stay calm. Arthur was asleep and he needed the rest, it would be counter-productive to wake him up because she couldnât keep a lid on her emotions.
She spent a good ten minutes sat on the couch, running her fingers through the soft strands of his hair, staring blankly ahead as her mind filled with images of the countless cruelties she could inflict on the boy whoâd dared to hurt someone as precious as Arthur.Â
Once she was sure he was as deep into sleep as she could send him, she carefully got up, resting his head against a pillow, and tucked him in with the weighted blanket she had on the couch. Circe didnât waste time in joining him, starting up a soothing purr to keep him calm in sleep.
She picked up her phone and sent a text, not needing to wait long for an answer to come.
Satisfied that Sebastian would handle it, she got to work on finishing up her cookies. After all, Arthur would be hungry when he woke up.Â
Maybe sheâd make them dinner too.
â-â
Arthur woke up slowly, feeling the world slowly filter back in through his senses. He was warm and relaxed, lying on something soft. His neighbourâs couch, he belatedly remembered. Circe was curled up against his chest, purring up a storm, the vibrations soothing against his tired body. Music played at a low volume in the background, and upon opening his eyes, he saw a record player spinning. The room was dimly lit, the only light coming from a string of fairy lights hung up on the cornice, and a few candles lit here and there. The house smelled divine.
âHey there, angel, how you feeling?â
His neighbour walked towards him slowly, a bowl in each hand, and set them down on the coffee table. There were spoons and water already laid there as well.
âOkay, thank you.â
She knelt in front of him, pushing his hair away from his forehead, and he felt his eyes flutter as he leaned into the touch.
âThatâs good, howâs your head? Youâre feeling a bit warm.â
âStill hurts little bit from all the crying but mostly okay.â
She took her hand away and he opened his eyes.
âWell, I made some chicken noodle soup to hopefully help you feel better, and afterwards we have warm cookies for dessert, sounds good?â
She was an angel, he was certain of it.
They ate while watching Barbie in The Nutcracker, practically glued to one another. Arthur wasnât ashamed to admit he ate faster just so he could cuddle up to her better, way past the point of embarrassment or hesitation. If she didnât want him to be this clingy she shouldnât have broken his brain. Besides, she didnât really seem to mind.
The cookies were honestly the best thing heâs ever put in his mouth, and he almost cried after the first bite. He didnât count how many he had, but she kept handing him more, so he had to eat them.
It was only when he got a text from Lorenzo asking if he got home alright that he saw the time.
âShit, itâs past midnight. I have to call my brother.â
He pouted, not wanting to leave, and she just smiled at him.
âWanna come have breakfast tomorrow morning? Thereâs a bakery a couple blocks down that makes really good croissants, and we can just spend the day watching movies.â
Was it to early to say he was in love?
âOkay.â
He didnât hesitate, and the smile he got in return couldâve powered a village.
Halfway to his door, right across hers, he turned back.
âYou never told me your name.â
She smiled at him with a mischievous glint in her eye.
âYouâre a smart boy, youâll figure it out.â
And the door was closed.
He stood there for a good five minutes, staring at the wreath she had hung up, until he remembered to check the name under her doorbell.
(Y/n) RäikkÜnen
His brotherâs ringtone echoed around the hallway and he picked up the call immediately.
âLorenzo, you will not believe who I just met.â
And that's it for my first F1 fic, hope you liked it! Ngl I got very attached to Circe and now I want another cat so that Sunny can have company.
Don't forgot to comment and reblog, asks and DMs are always open!
-Love, Miah <3
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Second Best- Jungkook (part 10)
Summary:Â Being friends with someone who has your heart itâs already hard, let alone when that special someone ends up falling in love with your best friend, the one you think would never make anything to hurt you . Will you be able to ignore it and move on? what will happen when everything gets too much for you to handle?
Genre:Â Friends to lovers; angst; body insecurities; bullying; friend betrayel;
Pairing:Â Jungkook x female!reader
Warning: strong language
Wordcount: 8.5k
Author's note: I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. Give me your thoughts. I love you all !
P.S : I'm sorry for any mistakes. English is not my first language!
Y/n wasn't always insecure about herself. Early in life she was a lively, extroverted and free spirit person, but life is unfair and unpredictable. Having the trauma of seeing her father abandon her and her mother for another woman, saying she was the reason why he stopped loving and caring for her mom, left something inside her that it was never possible to mend no matter how hard she tried, making her more focused on studies and goals than boys and dating while growing up. For her, love was an illusion and she wouldnât make the same mistake as her mother.Â
Thinking about it now as she heads inside the apartment she shares with Lisa, she never gave anyone an opportunity, but as soon as she saw Jungkook she was drawn to him immediately without any explanation for it. Independence was her thing and she never thought sheâd be capable of feeling the way she feels about him right now. Even if that meant that her friendship with Sewoon had to end.Â
Looking back she knows Sewoon was never a good friend to her and she deserves better. Despite knowing their personalities were completely different from each other, Y/n accepted her anyway. After all, Sewoon had been her first friend, the first person to defend her when necessary and for that she was truly thankful for her. She also knew a little about her past and even though their priorities were different, they understood each other like that. Â
Sewoon wanted to live life, have fun, go out, drink. Everything a teenager is supposed to do. She lost her virginity at 16 to a boy three years older than her who she met at a party. At the time Y/n asked her how was she able to do something so intimate with someone she had only known for a short time. Her best friend replied no one cared about that anymore. Truth to be told, after that she changed. A lot. Maybe that was when they started to drift apart a little bit. Y/n didn't like this change, not when she tried to do the same to her. Sewoon would share her experience regarding sex, how she did it, what she did and how good it felt. She was sexually active and made sure everyone knew about it, bothering Y/n. It was a subject that she didn't feel confident or comfortable talking about, however Sewoon pressured her to go the same path as her and that pissed Y/n off, but she would let it slide.
Maybe that was the main problem, letting it slide too muc. She never thought they would get to the point they are at today and that's sad. Now, Y/n was envious of all the experience she had acquired over the years, because with Jungkook it worked. He was so enthralled by Sewoon's beauty and comfort around guys, not to mention the way she won over boys, the subtle way of touching and talking to them when she tried to conquer them. Honestly, she admired the way she could make people who weren't interested in her focueds on her so quickly. Y/n knew she would never reach her feet in that way. Â
Everything that happened today with Jungkook was just one more thing to confuse her. What if she was imagining things? As far as she knows he could flirt like this with everyone else. What if he thought she was easy just because she had feelings for him and he was in need of more than she could give him? She has known him long enough to know he wasnât part like this but still... One never really knows someone, right? Sewoon is living proof of this. Â
Walking in her room, Y/n went to change clothes and do her skin care, she had cried so much during the day that her eyes were swollen. She washed her face with cold water and dried it and putting a facial mask on. It was a very cold night but the moonlight helped to alleviate the darkness outside and she took advantage of being alone to go to the living room with her favourite book in hand, sitting in a chair next to the fireplace. The Y/n from a few days ago would be unable to tell Jungkook how she felt, yet both yesterday and today she had already confessed twice and had even confronted Sewoon. She never thought she would be able to raise her voice the way she did.
She somehow feels that Jungkook came into her life to break down all these walls around her heart with his sweet gaze and magnetic smile. She fell in love with him, but didn't have the courage to admit it (to him or herself), which ended up in her best friend dating him and yet she continued to desire him. Damn, she was so happy to know they had broken up, so she could rekindle her friendship with him and although knowing this was not something a good friend would do, at that moment Y/n doesnât regret staying close to Jungkook, otherwise the moment they shared today wouldn't have happened at all. For that she also has Lisa to thank. God, she was very upset with her, but she ended up opening a path she never thought she would have with him.Â
Suddenly, she heard the main door open, announcing Lisa's arrival. Lisa hadn't even noticed her since when she arrived it was all dark. When Lisa heard a voice calling her in the distance she screamed and now it was Y/n's turn to laugh. Lisa put her hands to her chest and threw her keys at her in protest.Â
âYou really scared the shit out of me Y/n. What the fuck are you doing with every light turned off? Are you a vampire and I didnât notice it?â Lisa throws herself on the couch âHuuuuufff finally home! I've never had a day as long as this one. Meetings after meetings, just boring shit. How was your day? Was it a nightmare or a cool one?â Y/n gave a half smile Â
"Initially it was shitty, but it ended pretty well" Lisa raised her head and made a suspicious face. Â
âThat means something did happen. Oh my god, is it Jungkook related?âÂ
âYes and noâ Lisa was confused. âLast night before going to sleep I sent a text to Sewoon, trying to talk to her about the things I found out on that trip regarding Tae, but she didn't give me an answer so I didn't think much about it anymore. Today, it was almost time for my break when I saw her come in. I told Sana that I was going outside and would be right back, but the conversation didn't go as I expected. She was horrible Lisa, she said tons of shit that affected me a lot. I never met this person before. I saw a person I didn't know existed.âÂ
âWhat did she tell you?â Lisa whispered and Y/n lowered her head, sighing.Â
âShe basically said that she was happy I had disappeared without telling anyone, that the only bad thing was that Jungkook was constantly wanting to know my whereabouts and not even with the pictures she showed him did he calm down. Ohh and that she prayed for news to arrive that something bad had happened to me. She also mentioned that I had stolen Tae from her and that sheâd do everything to be with Jungkook, especially since they had already been together a few times, so she had no doubt that he would choose her over me. A bunch of shit.âÂ
âSHE SAID WHAT? God that girl needs a punch to bring her back to reality I swear the next time I see her Iâm gonna end her. Who does she think she is f--â Y/n interrupted her Â
âItâs okay Lisa. Actually, I need to thank her. After that, I was so upset that Sana told me to leave, I needed to clear my head and you were working so I decided to take a walk. Somehow, I ended up in front of Jungkook's workplace, he ended up seeing me and went after me and insisted on bringing me home, however, I told him I had to make a stop by La Dolce Perla and we ended up having dinner there. Although things were VERY tense at the beginning, by the end of the night I ended up letting some things out and he didn't judge me or anything, quite the opposite, he kept me calm and respected me. There was something in the air you know? Something that was pulling us closer to each other. We almost kissedâ Lisa squealed in excitement but then stopped and made a funny face.Â
âSo why didn't you?âÂ
âI - I donât know... I guess he noticed how nervous I was. We were saying goodbye and then he told me heâd wait for me. I donât know what kind of waiting was he referring to but somehow that gave me comfort, but Iâm not sure itâs a good thing, I mean it gives me hope for a future for us but with Sewoon in the picture I--âÂ
âWhy donât you talk to him about Sewoon? A real and open conversation where both of you get all the answers to your questions. You guys have a lot of connection, donât miss that over misunderstandings.â Lisa said while hugging Y/n, excusing herself to get ready for bed. She had a very busy day in her company and she was wrecked. Y/n was tired too, so she went to her bedroom, did her routine and fell asleep, or at least she tried to.Â
On the next day Sana wouldnât be there so sheâd be with the new guy. She never got to make a full shift with him and she was curious to see how itâd go. By the time her alarm went off Y/n was wide awake and ready to star her day. She had the weirdest yet the best dream ever. It was about Jungkook and she was enjoying it so much that when she woke up she cursed her neighbor for making so much noise at 08:15 a.m. Â
She was going to make a double shift. She hated when her boss asked her favors like these but she really needed the money, thatâs what kept her going. Getting there she saw Namjoon cleaning tables. Sana wouldnât stop gushing over him, how cute he looked or how mature he was for someone his age. Even though Sana didn't have the courage to admit her feelings for him (yet, according to her) there was a palpable chemistry between them. The few moments that Y/n witnessed, made her think about her example, how much she thought she and Jungkook understood each other until Sewoon appeared. The day was passing by very peacefully. Right now there were only two customers so she and Namjoon took the opportunity to get some things done earlier. While at it, they got to know each other better and when they finished what they were doing, they ended up engaging in a deep conversation.
Okay, she had to agree with Sana, he had a great view on life and knew a lot for a 20-year-old. They were so absorbed in their conversation they didn't even notice the arrival of a new customer. Hearing the chirping of a throat in order to draw the attention of the two of them, Y/n was surprised to see Jungkook there with a look she couldnât describe. Namjoon must have felt the weight of Jungkookâs eyes on him because he used some lame excuse to get out of there as soon as possible, leaving her alone with him.
âJungkook, hi! I â I wasn't expecting to see you here at this time of the day. Usually you come a little later... Is everything okay?â Jungkook took a whole minute to respond, glancing between her and the door Namjoon had ÂŤescapedÂť
âYes, everythingâs fine. I hmmm- I was around and I-- I know it's almost your lunch time so I passed by to see if you wanted to have lunch with me.â He looks at Namjoon when he sees him walking out with some boxes. âBut if youâre busy yo-âÂ
âImnotbusyatallâ she answered so quickly Jungkook didnât understand a thing so she had to repeat herself, calmer this time. âSorry. I meant to say Iâm not busy. I have two hours for lunch since I'm working double shifts today. I just wasnât expecting to see you so... early. I mean, for someone who usually shows up around 9pm, it's quite surprisingâ She smiled, turning her attention to the door, only to see Namjoon walk in again looking at her and Jungkook. He gave her a thumbs up, she flipped him off surreptitiously. Jungkook, on the other hand, was paying attention to all these actions. He's never seen this guy before, maybe he didnât pay much attention to him. They seemed to have hit off pretty nice and for some reason he didn't like that at all.Â
âI finished the morning session earlier than expected so I Ieft early as well. It's 10 minutes to 1 pm, can I stay here waiting for you or do you think youâll have problems with that guy?â Â
âWith Namjoon? Naah, heâs cool. I'll just tell him to come replace me so I can change clothes and we can go. Iâll be right back.â As said, Y/n went to warn Namjoon and went towards the locker room. She left after 5 minutes, seeing Jungkook waiting for her near the exit. Weird, he usually used to wait for her at the counter where she and Sana usually stay, where Namjoon currently is as well. Â
âWhy are you waiting here? Itâs not your normal spot you know? Joon wonât bite you for standing thereâ Y/n said laughing while approaching Jungkook. Seeing her, he adjusted his coat and smiled, opened the door motioning for her to go through it first, leaving behind her.
âI didn't like him, that's all, so I preferred to wait here. Besides, I didn't want to cause trouble. "
"Why would you cause trouble? It's not like this is the first time you've come in here or waited for me to leave. And what do you mean you didn't like him? Do you know each other by any chance? Where's the Jungkook who says we shouldn't judge a book by it's cover?â Y/n was teasing him and he knew it, answering with a little shut up. About five minutes away down the road there was a small burger place. It wasn't the first time they went there to eat, she loved the burgers there and the space was heaven. When they sat down, the waiter took their order and went to get their drinks, returning two minutes later. They both said thank you, giving some sips on their coca colaâs. Jungkook broke off the silence first.
âSo..you and the new guy seemed pretty close. Cool guy hm?â Â
âHis name is Namjoon and yes we got along quite well. You wanna know a fun fact? it was our first day working together officially. He started when I was on vacation and heâs been doing more day shifts with Sana. But yeah, heâs pretty nice. I was surprised, heâs younger than us but heâs pretty mature for his age and he made me laugh a lot today. It made my double shift a lot easier.âÂ
âOhhhâ. Jungkook gave a few sips on his drink. âGlad it only took him a few minutes for you to be able to feel comfortable with him. It took me ages for you to look at my face. No one would tell it was your first time working together. You must have really liked himâ Was he jealous?
âThereâs nothing going on between us if thatâs what youâre trying to know.â Jungkook chocked on his drink and tried to look everywhere but her. âWe made a great team today but thatâs it. Heâs not my type. Besides, Sana has a crush on him. Iâd never do that to a friend of mineâ. Jungkook understood the hint. When he was about so speak, the waiter came with their orders. He waited for him to leave again so he could say what he wanted.Â
âIâm sorryâ Y/n frowned.Â
âSorry? What for?â
"It was bad of me to come between you and Sewoon. It's a long story and I have to tell you all about it, but at the same time I want to respect your space and time. I should have talked to you as soon as I realized something was going on, but I was confused and--â Y/n interrupted him.
âWere you happy? While you were with Sewoon I mean. Did she make you feel happy?â For the first time Jungkook didn't know what to answer because he genuinely didn't know. Looking back, he knows he was never in love with her, it was just a momentary thing. He realized this too late and now heâs paying for it. Y/n noticed his discomfort so she changed the subject. âThis place is without a doubt the one with the best burgers. This is my second favorite place, I really enjoy coming here and this is sooooo good or maybe it's just me being so hungry.â She said, laughing at her own words. Jungkook laughed too. One of the things he never felt with Sewoon: lightness and tranquility. With her, everything was always a competition and based on image. Very controlled, very fake, very rehearsed.
During their meal, they talked about basic things related to life, work and dreams, ordered dessert and drank coffee. Jungkook paid their meals and even though Y/n refused he didn't listen, telling her to pay next time. When they got outside, Jungkook took out a cigarette and stayed like that, grabbing it. Y/n looked at him with a questioning face.Â
"How come I didnât know you smoked? I mean every time we went out I never noticed. I was so surprised to see you smoking the other dayâÂ
"And you said you hadn't noticed me." He said laughing. "I don't smoke much, usually after coffee or when I'm nervous/anxious. I've always tried not to smoke around you because I know you don't like the smell, so I avoid it."Â
"Is that why you haven't lit your cigarette yet?" Jungkook looked at the hand that had the cigarette between his fingers. "Maybe" he said wrinkling his nose, looking at her with those sweet bambi eyes. God help her because she can't stay away from this man much longer. During their way back to her work she expected him to light the cigarette, but at no point did he do so. She even told him that if he needed to smoke to do it, that she didn't have to be an obstacle simply because she didn't like it, to which he replied that there were priorities and at that moment smoking wasn't one of them. She didn't say anything back but Jungkook noticed the blush on her cheeks and the shy smile on her face. Â
âI wasnât happyâ Y/n looked at him wondering what he meant by that. He keeps talking. âYou asked me if I was happy with Sewoon and my answer is no. Everything was a facade between us and now I can see how dumb I was to call it love. There were no feelings between us, only physical attraction and illusions. I know I messed up bad by getting together with her Y/n and I wish I could take it back. Even though I didnât know your feelings for me but it was wrong and you have no idea how bad I feel for hurting you, even without meaning to. Iâm truly deeply sorry.â Y/n felt so bad for him. It was a mix of emotions and she just wanted to comfort him so she stopped walking, grabbed his arm and pulled him towards her, hugging him tight, whispering
"You're not to blame for anything. If anything I'm to blame because I was the one who didn't speak up." He moved away a little, although they were very close. "We don't control our feelings. It's not your fault that I fell in love with you just as it's not your fault that you felt something for Sewoon, just as I don't blame her for having something with you even though she knew about my feel--â She stopped talking when she saw his shocked face. His face changed drastically when she said Sewoon knew about her feelings, he was angry and you could see it. âWhy are you looking at me like that?â Â
âSewoon knew? She knew and you still insisted on pushing her to me?!â He was mad.Â
âWhat was I supposed to do? Youâre my best friend and I was afraid of ruining it with you, then you wanted to meet her and I just couldnât say no. I knew you two were perfect for each other. I- I didnât want to be selfish- I -âÂ
âFOR ONCE Y/n. Just for once you shouldâve been selfish! Do you have any idea of how hard this has been for me? just to know that you were the one who gave me to her just like that? Was I not enough for you, was that it?âÂ
âJungkook, no... Wh- What are you saying? I was the one that wasnât enough for YOU. Thatâs why I introduced you to her.â At this point Jungkook had already moved away quite a bit, running his hands through his hair. Â
âYou were more than enough Y/n. You just didn't bother to face what was in front of you. Why do you want everything to be given to you? Is it really that hard for you to take control of your life for once? You wouldâve avoided so many things Y/n. But you know what? I'm glad it was this way, maybe you and I weren't meant to be after all and weâre just realizing this now.â He sighed. âCâmon, I need to go and you have to go work as well.Â
The last minutes felt like hours. Y/n hadn't realized how things had gotten to that point, it wasn't possible to understand. She thought it was unfair that he was blaming her for not opening up, even though he was upset, but even so. When they arrived Y/n grabbed his arm once more.Â
âJungkook, you canât leave like this. You canât drive being all raged up right now. Talk to me, please. I know I shouldâve been more honest about things but I was scared and- and itâs not like you gave me any signs of any feelings either. I wanted you to be happy desp-â he released himself from her grip.
âI did gave you signs Y/n! I fucking did!That's why I'm so messed up. I - The only reason why I approached Sewoon in the first place was to have a reaction from you and to know things I knew I couldn't ask you directly.â It was Y/nâs turn to be shocked. What? âI know you avoid relationships and everything related to boys because youâre scared. If I told you how I felt or what I wanted I was scared you'd run away from me like you always do so I kept giving you signs Y/n but I had no reaction from you at all. I knew who Sewoon was from some pictures on your Instagram so when I challenged you to introduce me to her I was testing waters, however, your indifference remained there. It's not just my fault. I took you on dates and you would dismiss it, saying it was just two best friends hanging out. I left work every day and waited for you every day. In my free time I would come here to keep you company and be close to you while I sketch things that I could easily do at home. I have a cafe in front of my store and yet Iâm- Always- Here- You can't be that oblivious Y/n. You were the one to put a label on us every goddamn time! You say youâre in love with me? No Y/n youâre not, otherwise you wouldnât have given up so damn fast and give me to your best friend like a damn trophy the moment she asked. Hurts to know that I didn't deserve a second thought.â Y/n could only look at him. He looked so damn honest and he was so disappointed in her. There was hurt all over his face and that was killing her. She wanted to say something but she couldnât so she did what she always does: let him go.Â
She shouldn't have let him go. The rest of the day was fulfilled with anxiety and guilt. Every day she discovered new things and every time she thought her and Jungkook were stepping forward, they took five steps back. She was ruining everything good she had ever dreamed of with her cowardice and lack of communication. She should've gone after him, yet pride got the best of her.
Like always.Â
After the argument he got in the car and left. At first she tried not to think about it too much, but then she felt the guilt consume her. When she was alone with just a few clients, she sent several texts to Jungkook, apologizing for the way things happened, for them to talk and clear things up once and for all.
No response.
Lisa was going to spend the night out, so once again she found herself alone in that giant apartment. Without thinking she called Jungkook, going straight to voicemail all the six times she tried. The only positive thing was that the next day it'd be her day off and sheâd try to talk to Jungkook and clear things up.
Hopefully
The next day Y/n woke up with a huge weight beside her bed. When she opened her eyes she saw Lisa looking at her with a smile from ear to ear.
"Good morning, sunshine. I'm going to do something crazy and I want you to come with me. Hurry up, get even more pretty and let's go. If Iâm late and loose my turn I'm going to kill you.â Â
That's what consisted being friends with Lisa: waiting for her to wake her up at 9:30 in the morning for something that had popped into her mind out of pure spontaneity was just an example of it. She was adventurous and left nothing undone or unsaid because, according to her, you only live once and she would rather regret what she didn't do than everything she tried and failed at.
That's how at 10 in the morning Y/n found herself in front of the tattoo shop where Jungkook works. The only thing she wanted to do was turn around and leave. Gosh, he's been ignoring her attempts to contact him, how could she just walk in there like nothing was happening? She remembers talking to Lisa about getting tattoos. She never had courage for it, besides, Sewoon would tell her all the time they wouldn't suit her, thus she gave up of the idea. Lisa encouraged her, saying that when she did hers Y/n would do it too, but now, her stomach was churning and it seemed like the only thing that was going to come out was vomit. When they arrived at the entrance Y/n stopped.Â
âI canât go in with you. Iâm sorryâÂ
âWhat do you mean you canât? You canât leave me alone at it. Also, I booked you a session so you have to show up.â Lisa said innocently. Â
âYou knew Jungkook works here, didn't you? You little bi--âÂ
âHey hey hey. Thereâs no time for that my friend. We're about to get hotter and have something marked on us. Letâs go.â She was fucked.  Lisa linked her arm with her and they walked inside. It was a very peaceful place, with drawings on display, music playing and a diffuser. Of course. Jungkook was addicted to smells and very weird about them too.
The first person they saw was the red-haired lady Y/n had seen close to Jungkook the other day. Seen up close, she was even more stunning. Since Lisa was the one scheduling the session, the red-haired who introduced herself as Athena went to talk to Lisa to see what was she interested in. As she talked to her about the type of tattoo she wanted, presenting some sketches too for her to choose, Y/n looked around, praying she wouldn't see Jungkook while being there.Â
âWhat about you? What kind of design did you think of?â She asked Y/n, giving her a genuine smile. "First time? You don't have to stress about it honey, it's most likely for you not to feel a thing"
âOhh I didnât think of anything... You see I was totally caught up on this. I didn't know I was coming so I didn'--- "
âHer idea was to make a semicolon on her wrist. Something simple. Y/n, babe, we talked about this. Youâre not gonna chicken out right?â Y/n looked at her friend and her answer shocked herself more than anyone else in the room. âOkay. Yes youâre right Lisa. Iâm already here so why not?â Lisa opened her mouth, closing it up immediately, smiling. Change comes with little steps.Â
One step at a time
Athena showed Lisa some ideas until she finally chose what she liked the most. She was getting a sternum tattoo and the sketch Athena did was a piece of art, all those lines and details were just too perfect. She then excused herself to pick something up, disappearing for about 2 minutes, that's all it took for disaster to happen. While they were waiting for her to return they saw Jungkook walk through the door with two coffees. As he placed them on a small table in the entrance, Y/n realizes he didn't see them there, at least not until Athena returned to the room and spoke to him, causing him to look up where they were standing.
"Yooh Jkaay I'm glad you got here. Can you finish this design for me? I have these two pretty ladies here and the client will come by later to see if the drawing is ready but there are some parts I'm having trouble getting right, can you help me with this?â As soon as Jungkook looked up, he met Y/n's gaze, which was already focused on him. He had no reaction. âHey lover boy. I know theyâre pretty but Iâm kinda waiting for an answer hereâÂ
âHmmm.. Oh yeah- yes. You can leave it there Iâll be sure to give it a look.â his gaze was intense as it met yours but didn't say anything, as if he didn't know you. Athena thanked him and directed the two of them to a large room. While her friend took her shirt off and laid down on her back, Athena settled everything on the sterilized table. Y/n was inspecting the drawings on the wall, realizing Jungkook's signature on the end of all of them. After placing the artwork where Lisa wanted Athena grabbed the tattoo machine, filling the room with the sounds the needles working and Y/n got scared. She was sure that was gonna hurt. 10 minutes in there's a knock on the door. After Athena replied, Jungkook walked in the room with what Y/n thought was the drawing she asked him to check.Â
âThis is fantastic Kook. If the idiot doesn't like it I'll have it myself. It's incredible." Jungkook smiled and looked at Y/n and then at Athena again. "This is going to be a lot of work Ath. It's full of details and has such a thin line. You have to be careful not to smudge as you clean it."Â
"I know, I hadn't realized that. It's going to be a challenge but it'll look cool on her body. I still have her friend to tattoo but thatâs something small and quick.â Jungkook looked at her way.
âI can do it. Iâm free and wonât have any client until noon.â Y/n froze in the moment. No fucking way.Â
"I can wait. It's okay, really." Jungkook looked at her, picked up some still-closed material and opened the door. "Come on, I'll take care of it." And for a second, Y/n didn't know how to breathe anymore
Jungkook was waiting for her to follow him. When he noticed she wasn't moving at all he called out for her name again. Unconsciously, Y/n ended up getting up and going after him but she didn't leave without looking at the place Athena and Lisa were, noticing the strange expression Athena made. Had Jungkook ever mentioned her?
He went ahead, taking her to a more private room which was on the first floor. It was quite far from all the other rooms and common area. When they arrived there, he motioned for her to sit in front of what she assumed was Jungkook's desk. There were photos of several people, she doesnât remember meeting any of them until one got her attention: it was a picture of Jungkook and Sewoon together. He was wearing white and she was wearing a black dress. She remembers this day very well- It was in the beginning of their relationship and Sewoon was having a party with her agency and Jungkook was her date, they were both so pretty and cuddly and looked so into each other. Jungkook was treating her like a princess and it was the first time Y/n felt anger towards her best friend. She cried all night after getting home, spying Sewoon's instagram and all the love-dovey pics she was posting. What a night
He sat on the chair in front of Y/n, behind his desk to sketch what she wanted to tattoo when he noticed where her eyes were wandering at, grabbing the picture and putting it in a drawer. She didnât say anything, looking everywhere but him.Â
âAccording to Athena you wanted just a simple semicolon on your wrist, right? So I did sketch want you wanted but added something more. If you donât like it or want it you can say it and I'll do just what you initially wanted okay?â Jungkook showed her a design of a semicolon with a butterfly wing around it. It was honestly so beautiful. She remembers saying to him one time she identified herself as a butterfly, because no matter the situation she was going through she could always adapt herself and learn from it. Did he remember that?
âI- I love it Jungkook. This is so pretty and personal, I- Thank you, this is amazing. Iâll have it that wayâ Â
âAre you sure? Itâs gonna be there foreverâÂ
âIâm 100% sure. Start this before I lose my courageâ Jungkook gave her a nod, taking the paper and putting it on her skin with some wet liquid. He could tell she was nervous so he told her when he was about to start. âIf you need me to stop let me know. We have time okay?â Y/n nodded Â
âYou have amazing sketches here. Not that I didn't know but you're super talented, I feel grateful that itâs you doing this on me. When you become a world-renowned artist I'm gonna brag about it, Iâm already warning you.â After their fight yesterday, Y/n was trying to ease the tension between them but he was making it hard. She missed Jungkook and wanted to clear things up with him. She was done with all the confusion and misunderstandings, however, Jungkook remained in silence. âPlease Jungkook Iâm trying. I miss you. I miss us. I donât even understand what happened yesterday and Iâm sorry for hurting you in any way. Iâm tired of this! You're driving me crazy by leaving me in this void. I'm not like this Jk, you know it. I don't care about boys but just the thought of losing you is killing me. That's the effect you have on me!â He wasnât paying attenton to her at all, or maybe he was just ignoring her on purpose, either ways she was getting more and more frustrated and did her best to keep her tears to herself since she couldn't get out of there. With her free hand, she surreptitiously wiped her eyes with her shirt sleeve. What she didnât know was that Jungkook was paying attention to all her movements.
âIâm sorry. I talk a lot with my clients for them to relax a bit but with you... I feel like if I talk I'm not gonna be able to concentrate and I donât want to mess this up. You make me nervous just with your presence. That's the effect you have on me Y/n. When it comes to you I can't separate thingsâ Â
"I couldâve waited for Athena to do it. Actually I think itâd be better, given the situation we are at right now. Damn Jungkook I put my guard down for you and now you're treating me like this, what for? You criticize me for avoiding things, yet you're doing the exact same thing, it's not fair. You can't say whatever you want, make me feel bad and then do the same to me. I know I messed up somewhere. I know I should've been braver, but you are such a special and necessary part of my life that I was afraid of you not feeling the same way, could break everything we built so far, which is stupid right now because that's exactly what happened. There is no way we can go back to what we were beforeâ By the time she ended her speech, Jungkook was already putting the final touches on the tattoo, being done with it. Both of them remained silenced until he had picked up the tattoo protection to place it around her skin.Â
âLetâs do it then. Letâs put everything on the table and be honest because honestly I canât handle this anymore too. Where do you want me to start? From the day we first met? I had the shittiest day ever it was raining so much. Thatâs what made me stop at the coffee shop. Then you looked absolutely gorgeous standing there looking at me and when you noticed I was staring back and pretended to have lost an earring, that caught my attention, how innocent and naive you looked. Then I started to get to know you better and it was it for me. It was so hard not to fall for you. I kept taking you out to places but you always friendzoned me somehow, I would tell you about non existing dates to see your reaction but you always had the same posture, I came to terms that it was a one-sided thing. Then Sewoon happened. When you introduced us, honestly I was very straightforward with her. I asked her about you, if you liked someone if you ever talked about me, you know, something to give me hope. But the answers she gave me werenât the ones I expected to hear and I was so disappointed.â Y/n's system was soon on alert. Â
âWhat- - What did she tell you?â Jungkook took a while to answer which was making her impatient. She was about to lose her mind. Â
âShe told me you were seeing someone and it was getting serious. That she was sorry but wouldnât get in the way. After that, we kept talking a little more and when I was about to leave she was the one asking me to go out with her. Just a simple date so I said yes, maybe that would help me take my mind of you. Then things happened and time skipped and we broke up and yeah I didnât take that well because no one likes to feel they failed at something, but Iâm so glad we did. We didnât align in anything, we fought a lot behind doors. Then came the party you and Sewoon went. I was already there remember? You looked so sad and the first thing I remembered was the guy you were supposed to be seeing. I was hoping you were long gone with the dude but the way you were acting and how you were talking to me ended up confirming Sewoonâs words about you and that special someone and I--- I lost my mind.â Â
âSo you ended up kissing Sewoon to relieve all that anger, right?â  She got up and slowly turned her way towards the door when Jungkook grabbed her arm.
âThat was a terrible mistake. As soon as I realized what I did I stepped back immediately. After that I looked everywhere for you, but I didnât found you. When I did, you told me you were leaving with someone and that was it. I tried talking to you all night but your phone was either out of reach or you wouldnât respond.â  There's this awkward silence until one of them spok again.
âThat night broke me Jungkook. You broke me. I was there, I was hurt and you noticed something was up but all your eyes were looking at was Sewoon. I wished so many times it was me you were kissing, holding, touching. I'd see you with her and all I imagined was us. That was so toxic of me, that's why I left, because I couldn't see you leave with her knowing the next day I'd know everything about it."
They didn't realize how close they were until they felt each other's breath hitting their faces. Y/n doesn't know when things changed, but since the night at the restaurant there is something that pushes them towards each other. She gets a strange feeling in her belly, in her chest⌠down there. It's strange, she never felt something like this for anyone and it was confusing her. She knows if he asked her something she'd do it on the spot. It seems like Jungkook could feel the tension either because the hand that was previously on her arm was now around her waist, while the other caressed the right side of her face tucking some hair behind her ear. It was then that she felt the distance between them getting shorter and shorter, when all of a sudden they heard someone knock on the door, opening it, revealing Athena's slightly confused figure.
"Sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt, I heard voices and came to check if you were okay, as it's not usual for you to bring anyone here. I-- hmm- just wanted to let you know that I finished Lisa's piece and we're downstairs drinking some coffee and talking in case you'd want to join us when you finished whatever you were.... doing, but no pressure, make yourself comfortable, I didn't see anything. Use protection, okay? You still have a life to enjoy before any surprises." Jungkook made a desperate sound looking at Athena and throwing something at her
"Don't be an idiot, it's not what it looks like and you know it. Anyone hearing you talk would think you see me doing a lot of dirty things here. Work is work and I take it very seriously." Jungkook paused, glacing at Y/n, just to speak again. " We'll meet you downstairs in 10 minutes, I just need to finish explaining how she should handle this in the next few days." Athena hummed, giving them a nod before leaving. However, they heard her tell Lisa that - they were busy and would probably take longer to joy them- They knew she spoke loud for them to hear. Jungkook went to a drawer and took out a cream, handing it to Y/n.
"For the next three days you must avoid direct sunlight on the area. This protection should last for 24 hours, then you can remove it in the shower or by wetting the area with warm water, drying it well and applying the cream two or three times a day. If you feel any itching, that's normal, but if you see red spots around it let me know so I can check it out. But in principle, everything should be fine." Y/n nodded and thanked him, grabbing her wallet, heading towards the door but stopped halfway and turned around, facing Jungkook.
"Did you sleep with Sewoon here?"those words came out faster than Y/n could control. Why the hell did she ask that. Jungkook wasn't expecting that either, because his mouth opened and closed several times, not knowing what to answer, a little embarrassed. This gave Y/n a feeling that maybe the answer was yes. "Never mind, sorry, I don't know why I asked this. Forget it." She turned around again ready to open the door. She was about to do so when a hand above her head slammed the door shut again with a bang.
"Why do you always put me in difficult positions? It's past and - aiish- No Y/n, I didn't. This is my office, my space, my privacy, I don't bring anyone for anything more than work, not even Sewoon. This wasn't exactly the space she liked to frequent the most" Y/n nodded.
"I don't know why I asked, I'm sorry. Being here knowing that you and her were- you know- that would be just weird and gross. I mean, who knows what kind of "things" would be around here and-- Okay, nevermind. How about we go down? They're waiting for us and will start thinking stuff about us being here."
"So? Let them think what they want to think.. I'm not bothered at all. Are you?" When Y/n was about to answer, the door opened without warning revealing an excited Athena again, but she didn't realize that when she opened the door she had hit Y/n with it. "Shit Ath be careful. Knock before coming in. Jesus"
"Dude, I don't know what the situation is between you two, but behind the door is definitely not the best place. Been there, done that. It's interesting but not comfortable. Also, why are you so bothered by the knocking thing all of a sudden? That was never a rule. Just put something on the door handle to when you're busy doing other things. That's what I do with your broth-"
"Aiiiishh Athena. I'm not really interested in what you and my brother do or don't do, How disgusting. We were just talking! Stop being nosy and up on my ass. What's the matter with you today? why are you always coming here thought? You never care when Iâm upstairsâ
âWell youâre always by yourself, thereâs nothing for me to pry on. Either way, I came here to tell you that the client you had for noon called to inform heâs no longer able to come. His wife went into labour, so youâre free for nowâ
âWell at least is for some good reasons. Iâll call him up later to reschedule.â Athena would steal glances from Jungkook to Y/n with a funny look, trying to see something she could pick up to tease them more âAnyway, I think Iâll grab lunch with Lisa. Sheâs pretty rad. Do you wanna come?â It was Y/nâs turn to speak
âI actually have some things to get done, but you go and have fun. Maybe we can grab a coffee later?â All she wanted was to run. After that stupid question she made she just wanted somewhere to hide.
âOf course, just give me your number. Itâll be easierâ they both switched numbers and Athena gave a final goodbye to her, giving her a hug and winking to Jungkook, whispering behave before shutting the door completely. What the hell.
âSo... The girls are leaving and you probably have things to do too so I should get going as well. I have to meet up with Joon, he asked me if I could stop by so hmmm, yeah. Thanks for your time. If - if I have any questions Iâll pass by. Thank you once again." This was her cue to leave. Uttering those words she was out of the door, running down the stairs getting closer and closer to the main door but when she reached it, it was locked.
Goddamn it!
She was thinking about calling Lisa to turn around and wait for her when she heard footsteps behind her. She didn't dare to look back but in question of minutes she felt Jungkook's chest against her back, hearing him whisper
"Why are you always in such a rush when it comes to me? What are you so afraid of?" Jungkook turned her around to face him. "Let yourself go Y/n. For me, for you, for us. We've been over the friendship thing for a while now, don't you think? No matter how much you try to deny it, the attraction is here" He was so close to her she could feel his heartbeat.
"I can't" She whispered. "Everytime I look at you I get myself reminded of how you used to be with Sewoon. There was her before me and I can't compare. I can't erase that image of my head. I- I want to forget, but I can't"
"I'll help you forget. Let me help you forget, but mainly let me show you how there's no comparison between you and her" They were so close and there was so much desire so she let herself go and feel all she wanted, grabbing Jungkook by the hem of his grey shirt and closing the distance between them. The response to the kiss was automatic. Y/n felt Jungkook kiss her back as if he had already been waiting for this moment. Slowly at first, like they were testing each other, until he slowly pushed her against the door, placing his hand behind her neck, deepening the kiss. She never had a kiss like that. At this point she felt the entire zoo inside her and she was aware of everything around her: of how Jungkook's hands were hovering over her body, how their mouths were thirsty for each other, the way their bodies were so close yet so far.
It was just them and their desire for each other. And at that moment that was all that mattered.
Bonus: The famous tattoos made
Lisaâs OC'S


You're welcome ;)
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Tags: @esposadomd @joonlover1207 @eegyo @furrywonderlandwolf @minghaosimp @differentrunawayperson @nikkinikj @jksusawife @jk97bam @cryingoverpixelsetc @bhonbhon @lostinneocity @almostpurplelady @meowforluv @imagine-this-motherfucker @jk-190811 @cryingoverpixelsetc @11thenightwemet11 @rinkud @ayatie97 @jk-190811 @shaku1995 @blueberriesm @darkangelfei
#jungkook#angst#bts#jungkook imagines#jungkook angst#jungkook x reader#jungkook x you#fluff#imagines#kpop romance#kpopangst#tattoos
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Hey! Your fics are amazing. I couldn't see if you were taking requests but if you are would you be comfortable writing a Pierre Gasly x Leclerc!Reader maybe where the reader is obviously a Leclerc sibling and has known Pierre for years and have also been dating for years and the brothers find out and are not happy about it.
Thank you and keep up the amazing writing!
đ¨
You are royally fucked - Pierre Gasly x Leclerc! Reader
Plot: Y/N Leclerc grew up attached to her brothers, being a twin to Arthur and looking up to Charles and Lorenzo meant that you'd always been extremely close to your brothers and you travelled round the world with two of them as much as you could, but your brothers weren't the only reason why you attended races when you got older.
A/N: Thank you so much for this request! Sorry it took me a while to get round to it!



You'd know Pierre since 2010 when you and Arthur followed Charles to karting. Arthur was obsessed as much as his older brother over cars and so all three would kart.
You and Arthur were in the same division but still followed Charles to the higher levels too see him perform which is how you met Pierre.
You were 10 and he was 14, just a kid where you had a crush on your older brothers friend.
It was stupid and went away with time as Pierre was just someone kind to you when you were around your brothers. You saw him every race weekend. You'd bring him cookies you'd baked and he'd bring you a charm for your bracelet which he got you another one off on your 13th birthday as there were too many.
As you got older karting yourself became less and less of an interest and you only would show up to watch your bothers. Arthur continued on like Charles through the feeder series.
But as Charles progressed he became more and more absent. You weren't allowed to travel across the world with Charles unless your parents or Lorenzo were there too look after you, and you started to miss your brother more and more until it took a toll on you.
You started acting up, not going to school and it put a strain on your relationships with all of your family.
Charles wasn't around enough to see it but the rest of your family did.
When Charles finally got to F2, your mum promised you could go more, and it was great until your dad got sick and he couldn't travel anymore.
You were angry, not at anyone in particular but at the world for everything it was throwing at you. And you tried to run away, you ended up outside the casino in Monte Carlo, lost and upset.
It was actually Lewis Hamilton who found you, he couldn't comprehend why this 16 year old girl was alone in the streets of Monaco. You guys talked for ages and he convinced you to go home, you parents were so angry with you they grounded you and you were banned from going to any of Charles races.
Then your dad passed away, and you were devastated and were even more angry. You were 16 and had so much hate for the world, Arthur, Lorenzo and Pascale had no idea what to do with you. So they sent you to boarding school for a year until you were 18 and could make up your own mind.
While you were there you clicked with a group of people who all were influencers of some sort, and having Charles as a brother and him being announced into F1 for 2018 it wasn't hard to accumulate a following.
You stayed in the UK until you were 21, all you friends from boarding school went to university so you decided you'd stay with them and get a degree. Despite missing lots of school you were actually a very smart girl and had excellent grades.
Once you were 18, Arthur started to invite you to more of his races. And Lorenzo and your mum were always asking for you to come home... but your Charlie still hadn't realized everything you'd been through.
It wasn't until his 24rd birthday you saw Charlie properly. He noticed how different you were, you weren't the 16 year old he left all those years ago. He just pulled you into a massive hug and it didn't seem like the time to unload everything on him.
You saw Lewis that night, and he recognized you right away coming over and laughing about how he didn't think you'd end up being his competitions little sister when he helped you out all those years ago.
Then, you saw him ...
Pierre and that was night everything changed.
"Pierre?" you asked looking over the taller male, smiling softly not having seen his face in person for a while.
"Y/N?" he asks in shock, cocking his head to the side.
"The one and only" you grin and he just stares, still shell shocked about your presence.
"I haven't seen you for years!" he says pulling you into a tight hug that you melt into, his big arms encasing around you and making you feel safe.
"Where have you been?" he asks, looking over you face.
"Argh i just obviously got so sick of seeing you and Charlie all the time!" you smirk, taking a sip of the Negroni in your hand.
"Mmmmm, and to think. I thought you used to have a crush on me" he chuckles looking down and laughing.
The few drinks you'd had brought for you by your brother and all the drivers who recognized you had got to that confident place in your mind.
"Oh i did, hard core" you say with a straight face making him squint his eyes at you seeing if you were telling the truth.
"You sound ... different" he offers leaning in and tucking some hair behind your ear. If Pierre was being honest he'd never seen you as anything but a little sister, that was how he treated you when you guys were younger.
He didn't know if it was the club lights, the alcohol, your changed accent and looks, or a mix of all of them but he was looking at you like you were the only girl in the world for him.
And you noticed.
"That's what years of schooling in the UK will do for you and having friends who love to take the mick when you butcher the pronunciation of something" you giggle.
"You still sound Monegasque though" he grins, still hearing that twang.
The rest of the conversation was history as you went back to Pierre's hotel room, spending the night with him.
At this point you'd been dating Pierre for 4 years. Everyone noticed since 2021 how much more common your appearance in the garage was. Obviously your twin was there as a development driver for Ferrari, and Charles as a Ferrari driver also meant that people knew you were there for your brothers.
But little did they know you were sneaking off to the Alpine garage in search or your boyfriend.
âHey babyâ you grinned to Pierre, happy to see his face and plant kisses all over it.
âAhhhh, how are you cherieâ he mumbles into your neck. 2024 hadnât been a great season for Alpine, and 2025 hadnât started off great either. So you being there in the garage to cheer him up or calm him down was a must.
Charles never really questioned where you left too, he assumed it was to see Logan and Oscar who would often be found teasing Arthur all still being relatively close from their F2 days in Prema.
âIm good, just a little tiredâ you smile cuddling up to him on the little sofa in his drivers room.
âMmmmmâ he says and he seems like he isnât fully there with you.
âWhatâs wrong, somethings on your mindâ you ask, looking over him.
âIâve been thinkingâ he says looking down at you.
âThatâs never goodâ you joke but his face tells you that this will be a pretty serious conversation. One that you could tell had been playing on his mind.
"What is it what's wrong?" you ask, taking his hand in your own.
"We need to tell your family soon... it's been 4 years of being a secret and I want to show you off. I want to be able to take you out for a nice dinner in public and not fear getting caught. I want you to move in with me, and I just think it's time we tell them!" he admits, all very quickly and he watches as you take the time to process what he has just admitted.
"You want to tell my brothers?" you ask making sure you weren't jumping the gun.
"Yes, I cant help but feel ... guilty is not the right word but do you get what i mean?" he asks and you nod.
"Yeah, why don't I ask maman... she can make us a nice dinner tonight after the race and I'll say I'm bringing my boyfriend?" you smile and he nods.
You walk away to call your mum, leaving Pierre to leave his drivers room and walk to the garage where he would be starting the race soon.
"Maman?" you ask into the phone as it connects.
"Y/N darling where are you. We've all been in the garage waiting for you!" you hear in French and you chuckle.
"I've been, somewhere else. Maman i need to ask you something!" you ask as you exit the Alpine hospitality, trying to go as unnoticed as possible.
"What is it?" she asks, concern washing over her voice.
"I want to introduce you all to my boyfriend tonight..." you say although it comes out as more of a question that anything.
"WHAT?" she yells down the phone and you visibly cringe.
"Y/N Leclerc, get back to the Ferrari garage now!" she chides before hanging up the phone making you bite your lip anxiously.
You walk back to Ferrari as slowly as possible not wanting to feel that wrath of your mother who has probably already told Lorenzo and Arthur.
"Hey..." you say awkwardly as you go to where they are sat in the garage with all their headphones on.
"You have a boyfriend?" Lorenzo asks
"And you didn't tell me... us i mean!" Arthur cries out as Lorenzo elbow his side hearing him talk about himself.
"Maman! You told them!" you exclaim, not in shock as it was highly likely she would spill the beans to your brothers, but more in frustration that she did.
"Y/N! Why would you not tell your family about this... how long has this relationship been for?" your mum asks making you bite your lip and look down.
"4 years" you mumble and you mother huffs asking you to speak up before you say it in French, turning away not wanting to see their reactions.
"You've been with a man for 4 years and not told any of us! Not even Arthur! You tell everything to your twin!" You mum exclaims in shock.
"Obviously not everything ..." Arthur says sounding really upset before walking off, making tears fill in your eyes.
"I'm, we're ... happy for you. Really! But you know we worry about you... especially Charles. I dread to think how he's going to react when we tell him!" he laughs.
It was just you and Lorenzo right now, your mum having gone off to find Arthur.
"Loz, can i tell you something that you cant tell anyone?" you ask looking at him. Your oldest brother was always the best at knowing when you really really wanted his attention and that it was something serious.
"Go on!" he says, looking over you.
"You promise you wont say anything!" you look over at him and he nods, holding up his pinky which you swiftly take with your pinky too.
"I promise!" he sighs.
"It's Pierre" you blurt out, an eyebrow of Lorenzo's raising.
"What's Pierre?" he asks.
"The person who I'm dating... it's Pierre!" you admit and his eyes widen.
"Oh... you are royally fucked!"
And that you were. When Pierre entered the house all hell broke loose. Charles was yelling, Arthur too, Lorenzo was trying to calm everyone down. Maman was being quiet just watching the chaos erupt. Alex and Charlotte didn't know what to do. Pierre was just listening to everything that Charles was yelling at him.
It wasn't until you started sobbing that Charles stopped and looked over at you.
"Y/N... I'm sorry. I didn't mean any of that!" he exclaims looking over between you and Pierre.
"I guess I'm just shocked... we were all friends and I didn't expect it!" he admits and you look down.
"Please, Charlie. I love him... just like you love Alex and how Loz loves Charlotte. He makes me happy, the happiest I've been probably ever!" you sigh and he nods.
"God, i cant believe your growing up!" he sniffles and you pull Charlie into a hug.
"It happens!" you chuckle.
Taglist:
@littlesatanicassholebitch @hockey-racing-fubol @laura-naruto-fan1998 @22yuki @simxican @sinofwriting @lewisroscoelove @cmleitora @daemyratwst @lauralarsen @the-untamed-soul @thewulf @itsjustkhaos @purplephantomwolf @chasing-liberosis @summissss @gulphulp @starfusionsworld @jspitwall @sierruhhhh @georgeparisole @youcannotcancelquidditch @tallbrownhairsarcastic @ourteenagetragedy @peachiicherries @formulas-bitch @cherry-piee @spilled-coffee-cup @mehrmonga @bigsimperika @blueberry64857959 @eiraethh @lilypadlover @curseofhecate @alliwantisadonut @dark-night-sky-99 @i-wish-this-was-me @tallrock35 @butterfly-lover @barnestatic @landossainz @darleneslane @barcelonaloverf1life @r0nnsblog @ilove-tswizzle @laneyspaulding19 @malynn @viennakarma @landosgirlxoxo @marie0v @yourbane @teamnovalak @nikfigueiredo @fionaschicken @0picels0 @seomako @urdad-hot @tinydeskwriter @ironmaiden1313 @splaterparty0-0 @formula1mount @styl1shl1v
#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#formula 1 x you#formula 1#formula one#formula one fanfiction#pierre gasly x y/n#pierre gasly x reader#pierre gasly imagine#pierre gasly#pg10#pg10 x reader#alpine f1#charles leclerc fluff#leclerc reader#leclerc sister fic#charles leclerc x sister!reader
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hot laps * fem!driver
the fact of the matter is that she's got the reputation of being a reckless driver on the road, but they didn't know the extent until they had to join her for a hot lap around the track
pairings: bother figures x fem!driver, 4lyfers x fem!driver, macky
notes: hi i got bored at work and this is what i did instead of my dissertation
(series masterlist) | (đ the sophomore year)

-> max verstappen, #1
literally cannot stop screaming the entire time
he knew she was a reckless driver by some degree on the road
but not like this
she takes him on an extra lap and goes faster, almost clips the wall and almost loses the car
is kinda impressed that she recovered it somehow
stumbles out the car a sputtering mess at how hard sheâd gone in the car
âremind me not to anger youâ
-> logan sargeant, #2
unfortunately is used to his life being in grave danger at her hands
lowkey still has a heart attack even though he knew sheâs been driving like this since he taught her how to drive a road car at 16
holds onto the handles for dear life
disappointed but not surprised
âi almost got murdered trying to do content with rockyâ
-> lando norris, #4
is silent most of the time
wide eyed though
is kinda traumatised at how fast she was going
because she seems to be having a lot of fun
just walks away the minute she parks the car at the grid
"doesn't seem normal to be giggling and humming songs when you're driving at 200km/h"
-> alex albon, #23
a little impressed
not sure what loganâs deal is about her driving
her driving reminds him a lot of georgeâs recklessness behind a wheel
isnât as bad as george so thatâs a win to him
âsheâs a close second to george on the list of people i wouldnât let drive me aroundâ
-> liam lawson, #30
cussing her entire bloodline the minute she accelerated
apologises for every time heâs angered and pissed her off
his eyes were closed half the time, only ever peeking through an eye every couple seconds
terrified for his life
âhave you ever considered operating a rocketship instead of a race carâ
-> mick schumacher, #47
kinda enjoys it actually
sheâs driven his car on the road before
asks her for a second lap because he literally doesnât have the time to go to an amusement park
she says no
says she'll do it if he pays her money and the rates are $5/km/h
âitâs like getting on a roller coaster except itâs not nearly as scaryâ
-> george russell, #63
screams half the time sheâs driving
literally tries to be a backseat driver
could feel his stomach left behind at sharp turns and his lifespan decreasing
actually saw his life flash before his eyes
âi need to apologise to alex for my driving behaviourâ
-> oscar piastri, #81
would rather be anywhere than in a moving car with her
tries everything in his power not to get in the car with her
is unfortunately dragged in by lando because âif i had to go through it, so do youâ
âiâve lived with her, iâve BEEN through itâ
doesnât feel much during the lap
feels kinda nice actually
better driver than he remembers her to be
âperhaps my expectations were low, but you werenât as bad as i remembered so good jobâ
â bonus
-> sebastian vettel, #5
doesnât even blink
sits there and takes it
kind of wonders why he allowed himself to be the target of the socmedâs team
from a race car driver perspective: good, but as a human: itâs absolutely foul
jelly legs when he came out of the car
âwhoever let you have a license should have a stern talking toâ
-> matt cornett (boyfriend!)
is praying for his safety the minute she approached him with bright eyes and a hopeful smile that heâd join her for a hot lap
literally thinks sheâs going to kill him
isnât as bad as he thinks
still thinks the rate she went at was too fast for his personal preference
she shrugs and admits that she went slower than she did with everyone else she's taken
is offended and asks her to give him the same treatment
literally regrets it
âi literally thought i was going to die at your handsâ

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Fox News complaining about Superman being too woke has got to be the funniest fucking thing on the planet rn. Like the lack of basic literacy and the sheer laziness of their reporting is glaring and they donât even know.
Did they not even bother to Google who Superman was or at least hit his WiKi page before writing this segment??? Clearly they didnât bother. And that made this segment so, so fucking hilarious.
Here are they are complaining that Superman promotes immigrate. BITCH HE IS LITERALLY AN ILLGEAL ALIEN. HE IS AN ALIEN WHO IS ON THIS PLANET ILLEGALLY. Like excuse me for overthinking but maybe his mom and dad didnât have time to fill out a visa for their child while their planet was literally collapsing in on itself. They probably had bigger worries than US customs letâs be real.
And donât forget that Supermanâs main villain is literally Jeff Bezos. Actually, Lex might be better than Jeff Bezos because at least he marginally cares about the environment and the planet Earth at large.
Holy moly these people are so dumb⌠if they had spent more then 30 seconds researching Superman theyâd learn that he was literally created by immigrants and made to teach kids about tolerance, equality, empathy, and compassion. Like thatâs it. Thats who Superman is.
And theyâre out here complaining that âaudiences are going to feel alienatedâ like you DUMBASS. Are you joking??? Superman is THE MOST POPULAR SUPERHERO ON THE PLANET. Like itâs not even a debate. People in fucking Bora Bora and wherever else know who he is. I donât think James Gunn is worried about the idiots who lack most higher cognitive skills.
But lowkey my favorite part of this whole debate is when the lady complained about them changing Supermanâs motto. First of all she said the OG motto WRONG; and secondly bitch youâre LATE TO THE PARTY. THIS WAS A DEBATE LIKE OVER 10 YEARS AGO. Literally no one cares anymore.
Also shoutout to the moment when the guy was like âheâs got MS-16â or whatever âon his cape.â And everyone went âoooOoOhhâ like he just made some great diss or something. Dude really thought he did something there. I was laughing at him so hard I chocked on my lemonade. It was hysterical.
Anyway sorry for the rant. I try not to get too political but that was just way too funny for me not to comment. Would recommend watching this segment purely out of shits and giggles. Really made my afternoon.
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⌠WE WERE JUST TRAINING. SUPPOSEDLY âŚ
⤡ Pairing. Astrid Hofferson x fem!reader
⤡ Genre. action + unresolved emotional tension + enemies-to-(something intense) + implied romance (with punches)
⤡ Setting. dragon rider training camp, damp earth, sweat in the air, dragons roaring in the distance, strategy room thick with unspoken glances
⤡ Warnings. intense physical contact, jealousy, almost-kiss that steals your breath, kiss that wrecks you, repressed desire used as a weapon, dry Viking humor and loudmouthed bystanders
⤡ Notes. This started as a training session and ended as a tactical disaster flavored with âI like you but have zero emotional tools so Iâll just throw you to the ground again.â Astrid is not in love. Definitely not. (âŚShe totally is. Down to her last braid.)
⤡ Also, writing this request was amazing. I recently watched the How to Train Your Dragon live action, and honestly, I loved it.
⤡ Word count. 1506 words approx.
⤡ Tone.i ntense, physical, thick with unresolved tension, dry humor, and dragon-fire levels of jealousy
⤡ Rating. 16+ â training-related violence, explicit sexual tension (no explicit sexual content)
⤡ â Synopsis:
What was supposed to be just a normal training session turns into a fight where the air hurts and the looks burn. You and Astrid never got along⌠but thereâs something in every hit, every touch, that feels more like a scream held in than an attack. And when jealousy steps in, she stops holding back.
Because this was training.
Right?
The sky was blanketed by low-hanging clouds when training began that day. The air smelled of fresh sweat and damp earth. Dragons flew overhead in the distance, roaring through gusts of wind.
The instructions were clear: hand-to-hand combat in pairs, no real weapons, supervised by the more experienced riders. Nothing out of the ordinary.
Except for the two of you.
Astrid and you.
From the first glance, everyone knew it was going to end badly.
âTry not to make the same mistake as yesterday,â Astrid said, not even looking at you directly, adjusting her leather gloves with the precision of someone who needs something to control.
You didnât answer. You just tensed your shoulder muscles and took your fighting stance. Your pulse was already pounding against your temples. Your breathing was a battlefield before the fight even started.
âReady?â Hiccup asked, voice a little tired. He knew the two of you. He knew something was about to explode, and he couldnât stop it.
The moment he gave the signal, Astrid lunged.
She was fast. Always was. A direct blow to your stomach that you dodged with a low spin, making her stagger. Not even a minute had passed and you werenât just measuring strengthâyou were measuring frustration, anger, that rough familiarity only forged between two people who canât stop clashing.
The rest of the riders stopped training to watch. It was impossible not to.
The movements started harsh and mechanical, but they quickly turned personal. Sharper hits. Tighter holds. Breathing rose between grunts. Neither of you spoke. Neither of you held back. Dust swirled around you, mixing with the sweat that burned your eyes. Every touch between you was either too hard or too close.
Astrid could feel the heat of your body with every clash, every fall. Her heart was racing. Why did it bother her so much? Why did her blood boil every time your eyes locked onto hers? It wasnât just anger. She knew that. And she hated it.
You, on your end, felt every brush like a fire. The grip of Astridâs hand on your wrist sent shivers down your spine. Her voice, her rage, her presence⌠unbearable. And yet, all you wanted was for her not to walk away.
âIs this still training?â Snotlout muttered at the edge of the field, arms crossed.
âDepends,â said Ruffnut, eyes never leaving the fight. âDoes it count as training if theyâre trying to kill each other?â
Fishlegs took a hesitant step closer, concerned.
âShould we⌠step in?â
âYou want to get between those two?â Tuffnut asked, horrified. âIâd rather face an enraged Gronckle. With hemorrhoids.â
In the ring, Astrid grabbed your forearm and threw you down. But instead of yielding, you twisted, hooked her leg, and dragged her down with you.
Both of you rolled across the ground, panting, covered in dust. Astridâs braids were coming loose in wild strands. Your shirt had a rip at the shoulder. Your cheeks were burning. The heat between your bodies was unbearable. As if everything left unsaid had to come out through shoves and uneven breaths.
âWhat is wrong with you?â Astrid snapped, voice cracked with fury. âYou always do this. Always looking for an excuse to provoke me.â
âAnd you?â you shot back from the ground, still holding her wrist. âYouâre always right there, looking for flaws. Waiting for me to slip up. Like you canât stop watching me.â
Astridâs fingers clenched against the dirty fabric. Her eyes were burning with something she didnât know how to handle. For a moment, her face was just inches from yours. Her warm breath on your cheek. The silence expanding. Neither of you moved. Like something had broken between punches. Something you no longer knew how to contain.
Every fiber in Astridâs body trembled, like her self-control was a thread about to snap. Your mouth was too close. Too real. And the temptation to close the distance hurt.
You stared at her with parted lips, chest heaving, not understanding why you werenât backing away. Why you wanted the moment to stretch, even if it burned. Even if it hurt.
Astrid blinked, like snapping out of something. She pulled away abruptly, like your touch had burned her.
No one dared step in. Hiccup had moved slightly closer but froze. Even the dragons in the distance seemed to slow their wingbeats, attuned to the moment.
âThatâs enough,â Valka said from one of the observation platforms, but her voice was ignored.
Astrid said nothing else. She stood, brushing dirt from her knees with trembling hands. And left, tension trailing behind her like smoke.
You didnât watch her go. You lay there a few seconds longer, chest heaving violently, throat dry, lips pressed tight. As if that non-kiss had knocked the balance out of you.
No one said anything.
But everyone was thinking it.
â
The squad meeting that afternoon felt more like a formalityâHiccupâs attempt at restoring some version of calm.
Maps lay on the table, flight sketches, patrol lists. But no one was truly paying attention. Everyone kept sneaking glances, waiting for round two.
Astrid was sitting with her arms crossed, pretending to focus. The leather of her gloves was still damp. The metallic taste of training lingered on her tongue. But more than that, she couldnât shake the image of you. Shirt torn, skin dirty, gaze locked onto hers like you could see through her. And it scared her. Scared her to feel what she couldnât control.
You sat off to the side, quiet. Neither of you looked at each other. But the air between you was a blade.
âAre you sure itâs a good idea to put them on the same patrol?â whispered Ruffnut, feigning interest in the map.
âThere are no good ideas with them. Only consequences,â Hiccup replied without looking up.
And then, Erik spoke.
âI think you could patrol with me this time,â he said, sitting beside you. âI could use a partner who knows what sheâs doing. Plus, it wouldnât hurt having someone with a good eye⌠and a good presence,â he added, not even trying to be subtle.
You barely looked up, uncomfortable. You wanted to respond but didnât know how. Your skin prickled. Heat crawled up your neck. Not because of Erik.
Because you knew someone else was watching.
With rage.
With jealousy.
Across the room, Astrid clenched her jaw.
First her posture: stiff. Then her breathing: shallower. Then her hands: curling into slow, deliberate fists. Every word from Erik pierced her like a spear. She couldnât listen to him flirt with you. She couldnât see you smiling at him. Something snapped inside her.
Her chair scraped back with such force it toppled over, slamming to the floor with a crash. Everyone flinched.
Then she stood in front of you.
For a heartbeat, she said nothing. Just looked at you. Hard. Like trying to memorize you. Like she didnât know whether to scream or touch you. Her breathing was a mess. Rage still burned along her jaw, but something else swirled beneath it. Something sweet and poisonous.
Her gaze dropped to your mouth. Stayed there too long. Your lips parted slightly. The way you swallowedâ
It broke her.
And then she did it.
She grabbed you by the jacket with restrained violence, yanked you forward, and kissed you.
No words. No warning. No mercy.
It was a brutal kiss. Open. Wet. She devoured you like she hated needing you. Her lips were firm, demanding, and when her tongue pushed into your mouth, it was with the urgency of someone who had held back for far too long. She kissed you like the world was collapsing and only you could stop it. Like she was punishing you and begging you all at once.
It was tongue against tongue, breaths tangled, teeth clashing slightly from haste. Your hands grabbed her arms before you even noticed. You gave in to the pull of her body, the pace she set, the way she held you like sheâd never let go.
Astrid gasped against your lips, pulling back only to breathe, then diving back in with more hunger. She bit your lower lip lightlyâa warningâand her tongue slid between your lips again, slower this time, like she wanted to savor every second of invading you. Of claiming you.
The room was dead silent.
When Astrid finally pulled back, her breath was a mess. Her lips wet. Her eyes wild. The fury still there, but smoldering under a need she could no longer deny.
âDonât touch her again,â she told Erik without even glancing at him.
And walked out.
She left behind thick silence, a fallen map, and everyone holding their breath.
You stayed still. Her taste was still on your mouth: earth, rage, built-up want. Your heart was pounding. Your legs unsteady. Your hands clutching the edge of the table like the world had tilted.
No one dared say a thing.
Because they all knew this wasnât the end.
It was just the beginning of everything you could no longer ignore.
⤡ Notes.
This one-shot is for @chwrrylil , I didnât realize how much I needed to write about Astrid until you asked me to.
⤡ let me know if you'd like a continuation or second part
⤡ reblogs with comments save my life.
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nice to finally meet you
lena oberdorf x bayern!reader
summary: reader discovers that her long time rival will be her teammate-- and possibly more.
warnings: long chapter, not 100% proofread
you walk into the training headquarters at bayern, excited since this is the first training which will prepare for the pokal round of 16. since this will be your second time in this competition, you hope to win finally.Â
as you walked into the locker room, the familiar chatter of your teammates seemed subdued. it was still there, with sydney and sam with their inside jokesâ but it was quieter. your mind can't shake the feeling that something is off.Â
sitting down on the bench in front of your locker, you change into the training kits then drink a bit of water, since there was still time before you had to head onto the pitch.Â
you look up and see klara give you a sympathetic smile, you smile back brightly. this made klaraâs eyes widenâ did you not know?
as you lace up your boots, you catch georgia, sam, giulia, sydney, and klara exchanging glances before looking back at you. this bothered you. these people are some of your closest friends on the teamâ are they hiding something?
"alright, what's going on?" you demand, your voice echoing off the walls of the locker room as you crossed your right leg over the left.Â
your shoulders flinched when you felt leaâs hand rest of your right shoulder. everyone knew about the newsâ except for you. lea hopes you will take the news well, for the sake of her best friend.Â
georgia hesitates, her eyes darting to sydney before she takes a deep breath. she moves to sit beside you.Â
"did you hear about who's coming to bayern?," she starts, her voice cautious.
you eyebrows knit together in confusion. usually, transfer news doesnât occur this early before the summerâ so you shake your head.Â
âno. who's coming?â you look over at lea, who looks down at your cleats without saying anything.
"lena. lena is transferring to bayern." sydney says.Â
theyâre all happy for lena transferring to bayern, since theyâre all close to her. they knew that you never had a good experience with lenaâ so they were nervous to see your reaction.Â
this news hits you like a punch to the gut. lena, your nemesis on the pitch, the wolfsburg midfielder who always seemed to have the hack for getting under your skin.Â
the first time you guys met was in the champions league final in 2020.Â
you weren't with bayern. lyon was the club of your life at the time. you were 18 years old during this final and werenât wise enough to hold back your words.Â
being subbed into the final in the 70th minute, you wanted to contribute something.Â
when you had the ball at your feet in the midfield, you felt the spike of a cleat smack into your ankle. you squealed as you hit the ground in an awkward position, lucky that your ankle didnât twist.Â
you looked up to see â5 oberdorfâ standing up and walking away from you nonchalantly. the medics determined that you were okay, all you needed was a bandage since your ankle started bleeding, but you took her actions personally.Â
lena had the ball and before she could pass it to alex popp, you pushed her to the ground harshly before dribbling the ball away from her. you didnât bother to pass up to sommer before shooting the ballâ scoring the third goal in that champions league final. winning against the german club.Â
after finishing third in the 2022 ballon dâor ceremony, and lena getting fourthâ just below the two spanish superstars bonmati and putellasâ the media declared that there was a new rivalry among you and lena.
you remember the friendly between germany and the united states later in the year too, just after your transfer to bayern months before.Â
germany won the first game against the united states, but you were out sick with a fever.Â
the second gameâ you were back healthy. you took every opportunity to play aggressively against lena, even earning a yellow card for a particularly hard tackle after she tackled you moments before.Â
despite lea, sydney, and klaraâs assurances that lena was a sweet person, you could never reconcile that with the competitor you faced. you were stubborn and knew that lena felt the same towards you.Â
you force a laugh, trying to mask the mixed emotions inside of you. "lena? lena oberdorf?"
âyeah, she wants to be closer with her friends and family.â lea says.Â
âthat's surprising, she said that she never wanted to come here. i guess things change.â you say, after tying your cleats quickly, you walk out of the locker room.Â
practice didnât start for another twenty minutes, but the girls decided to leave you alone with the news.Â
the reality of the situation sinks in, and you are terrified.
you KNEW you had to be friends with her once she joined the club in july. there was no way you would sacrifice your professionalism over lena oberdorf.Â
butâ how are you supposed to get along with lena after years of arguments, yellow cards, and on-pitch battles? the thought of sharing the same locker room, training together, her wearing the same colors as you working towards the same goalsâit all feels overwhelming. it's a thought-process you donât know if youâll get used to.Â
the rest of the day passes in a blur. on the training ground, your mind isn't on the drills or the tactics; it's on lena.Â
what if she hasn't changed? what if the friction between you only gets worse? what if she tries to take your spot in the midfield? you knew that last question was ridiculous, since youâre an attacking midfielder and she's defensive.Â
and yet, a small, nagging voice in the back of your mind wonders if maybe, just maybe, thereâs a chance to turn this rivalry into a duo that would terrify the future opponents.Â
a few days later, you saw a post made by lena. yes, you both followed each other on instagram. you didnât know why, but it just happened.Â
she confirmed her transfer to bayern after receiving many hate comments about an old interview she did.Â
in your mind, you felt bad for her. It's not just about football anymore; it's about finding a way to exist together, to move on from the years of competition that have been created. she will be your teammate soon and you have to accept it.
over the next few months, you focus on your training. the reminder of your rival coming to bayern disappeared from your mind for a while.Â
until july 1st. you woke up that morning and you did everything that morning to delay your route to the training grounds.Â
however, you still arrive on timeâ walking into the locker room, you see all of your friends and greet them for the new season. Â
today was just performance diagnostics, which requires a lot of running, balancing, and strecthingâ but that wasnât the only thing on your mind.Â
sitting down in the locker room, you avoided your eyes from looking at her.Â
she sat in the locker right next to yoursâ with lea on her other side.Â
little did you knowâ the coaches and captains wanted it this way so you both could try and get along after years of only knowing each others competitive side.Â
you take a quick glance at her when you put on your adidas running sneakers. you say to yourself that she looks different in bayern's red and white.
standing up, her eyes meet yours.Â
âhey.â lena speaks.Â
for a moment, you pause. at first, you thought she mightâve said hey to someone walking in the locker roomâ but no.Â
she is looking right at you.Â
the expression on your face is unreadable, âhi.âÂ
âwe're teammates now." is all lena could say. she looks awkward just as much as you do. this is a hard watch for your teammates in the locker room.Â
you nod, trying to keep your emotions in check. "yep, we are."
neither of you knows what to sayâ so nothing else was said. the rest of the team still watchesâ knowing what will happen.Â
your teammates know that lena and you will get along and become friends. the two of you are very similar in terms of personality, passion, and hobbies.Â
obviously, years of hard feelings donât go away in a dayâ but they hoped that you guys would accept that youâre teammates and it's okay to be friendly now.Â
the performance diagnostic goes well, everyone is happy. you forget about lena for a while when you, giulia, sydney, and klara are fooling around in one of the rooms. youâre happy to be back with your teammates for a new season.Â
as youâre running on the treadmill with a breathing tool over your mouthâ sydney, klara, and georgia clap around you in encouragement. you want to smileâ but youâre focused. you move your eyes to see that lena is staring right at you. this didnât throw your running offâ but youâre curious about what she is thinking.Â
as much as you hate to admit it, having her on the team might actually be good for everyone involvedâ including yourself. you hope that she feels the same about playing with you.Â
the next week, after receiving advice from lea and the coachesâ lena approaches you.Â
"can we talk?" she asks, her tone earnest as you take off your boots from your tired feet after a day of training on the pitch.
you hesitate, looking at her, but eventually nod. "sure."
you find a quiet spot away from the rest of the team, knowing that theyâre all eavesdroppers.Â
choosing a media room, where the tables are empty with no outside presence, the both of you sit down in chairs beside each other.Â
you chose to not speak first, since you werenât the one that wanted to be here.Â
lena takes a deep breath, clearly gathering her thoughts. "iâm sorry if i have made you feel some type of way over the years," she begins, "i feel like we would both be great together in the midfield. youâre a very good player and i donât like how we are avoiding each other. "
you study her, searching for any hint of insincerity, but find none. "yeah i agree," you admit. "iâve built a bias about you and i need to push it away for the sake of bayern. i donât want the team to be affected by what we went through.âÂ
âi agree, iâm sorry again.â lena frowns.
âdonât apologize. iâm glad you finally chose the right team.â i smirk as lena rolls her eyes, playfully, at my remark.
âthis isnât going to be easy though.â i mumble as i cross my feet together.Â
lena nods. "i know. but I'm willing to try if you are."
âi will oberdorf, its nice to finally meet you.â i hold my hand out and smile.Â
âes ist auch schĂśn, sie kennenzulernen.â lena smirks and shakes my hand.
---
weeks turn into months and the season is in full-swing. Â
the oberdorf, stanway, and y/s/n midfield is an extreme combination. no opponent can walk into the midfield with you three.
for the first goal of the seasonâ it was scored by you against essen. something unexpected happened.Â
lena had the ball and dribbled it around a few defenders from essen. she looked forward and saw that you were free from a marked opponent, so she passed the ball up to you. your feet dribbled around the last defender before you launched the ball past the goalkeeper. goal!
processing the golozo you scored, you ran to the corner and did a knee slide. lea jumped on your back which made you both fall onto the groundâ but you were happy to provide the first goal for bayern this season.Â
standing up after receiving hugs from your teammates, you saw oberdorf standing with a smile on her face.
lena wasnât sure if she could hug youâ yes youâre her teammate now, but that doesnât mean that youâre friends.Â
however, you were high off of the joy from the goal. knowing that lena assisted your goal, you launched your body onto herâ giving her a hug that was unexpected from her and your teammates.Â
âwhat an assist oberdorf!â you yelled as you released your body from her arms and ran back into position.Â
she didnât know what to sayâ but lena did want to hug you again and she didnât know why.Â
a few weeks later, bayern had to play a game which determined if they'll be in the champions league group stages.
remembering mistakes from last year, you didn't want another repeat of that.
during the match, bayern was up 2-0. thanks to a goal from giulia and madga.
in extra time, you had the ball and looked around to see if anybody was free to accept a pass. before you looked back to pass the ball to stanway-- a midfielder from the other team pulled your shirt before throwing you onto the ground.
the opponent wasn't going for the ball, so it was a yellow. many of your teammates argued that it should've been a red.
you didn't have a chance to argue for yourself. you hit your head off of the grass and pain struck throughout your upper body.
you couldn't move, as the quickness of it all had you overwhelmed.
"y/n, y/n! are you okay?" you opened up your eyes slowly to see lena kneeling beside you. you closed your eyes again and held her hand that was on your head.
"I think?" you mumble.
"the medic is coming. can you breathe?" lena asks, just to keep you talking.
"I can yes. my head hurts though." you mumble again.
gently, lena moves her hands to the back of your head- laying it there as a block between the hard grass and your head.
you didn't think too much about the gesture at the moment-- but it hits you later in your living room hours later.
over the months-- you started to see glimpses of the person your teammates always insisted lena was: kind, dedicated, and sweet.
lena's actions from earlier replayed from your mind and your heart started to flutter as your stomach felt tingly.
"lena, I just want to say thank you for helping me last week before the end of the game. i didn't forget about it." you sat down beside lea, who was talking to lena across from her in the lounge room at the training center.
lena smiles slightly, "it's no problem-- the opponents were playing dirty and that wasn't right."
"I agree, usually I'm fast but I didn't see her coming." you say as you giggle at the memory.
you had to skip out on a few training practices and most of the next game-- since the head slam on the grass could've gave you a concussion, but you felt fine after two days.
lena and you talked more, which caught the interest of a quiet lea. she sat back and let you guys talk while she observed.
the blonde saw a look on lena's face that she hasn't seen since she was with her ex. a look of happiness and desire.
as she turned to look at you, she saw the same look in your eyes. this made her eyebrows knit together-- she knew she had to tell the other girls. there was no way that this could be ignored.
the next morning in the gym rooms-- lea tells the girls about her observation before you or lena arrived.
"wait I'm glad I'm not the only one who noticed their behavior towards each other!" georgia yells. klara covers her mouth and looks towards the doors, uncovering it when she realizes that lena and you aren't nearby yet.
"yeah, they're giving each other the same googley eyes that sydney gave sam last season." giulia comments.
"hey?" sydney says, pretending to be offended.
"at least they're getting along-- well, a little too well. I knew they were gonna be friends once they pushed their old rivalry aside but a potential relationship? I didn't see that coming." ana joins into the conversations.
"you didn't see what coming?" you say, walking into the door seeing your teammates surprised at something you were unaware about.
some of the girls exited the conversation and pretended like they were doing their workouts the entire time-- others look to find an excuse to your question.
"we were talking about the champions league group stages that come out this morning. we are grouped with paris fc, real madrid, and ajax." sydney says.
pernille rolls her eyes,
"lets not lie-- yes those are the group stages that came out but we were talking about you." pernille says. your heart drops at her words, what were they saying?
"about me?" you question as you sat down on a workout mat.
"you have a crush on lena and its starting to become obvious." ana says.
your heart skips a beat as you shake your head in denial, "no way! I don't have a crush on her. you guys aren't used to seeing me getting along with her that's it!"
"we are, and you're getting along with her just a tad more than with us. we see the blush on your face and the twinkle in your eyes with you see her, love." georgia squeezes your cheeks as goes she sits beside you.
"I don't know what to say."
"you can say that you have a crush on her-- but its fine since she might have a crush on you too." Sydney says.
"no she doesn't."
"well you didn't deny that you have a crush on her!" sydney smiles.
you playfully roll your eyes.
"it hasn't been that long you guys-- I need to wait a bit." you say.
"and you can-- but you can't hold it in forever." sydney replies.
another week goes by when lena and you are sitting outside a cafe in amsterdam. the first group stage match between bayern and ajax occurs later that night and everyone is excited.
originally, everyone was going to go to the cafe.
little did you and lena know, everyone was going to back out of the cafe plans. just leaving lena and you to go by yourselves.
neither of you minded that nobody else was going. in the middle of the hangout while you were talking-- lena slips up.
"this a nice date, i mean when-" lena cuts herself off when she processes her words. you smile at her as she goes to rub her eyes in frustration at herself.
"a date?" you tease.
"i'm sorry it just slipped out." lena mumbles as she takes a sip of her coffee.
"don't apologize. I can see this as a date with you obi." you smirk. lena's eyes widened, in shock, before she smiles back at you.
after winning against ajax 3-0, thanks to a brace from you and a goal from franz, lena and you switched jerseys.
"well, hello #8 ms. oberdorf?" an ajax player and your friend from the national team, lily, walks up to you as your back was faced towards her.
you wore the number 16, and oberdorf isn't your last name (yet haha), so the swapped jersey confused her at first.
"omg lily!" you turn around and embrace the younger girl in a hug when you notice her. she holds you with confusion on her face as you pull away.
"I was going to ask if we could swap jerseys but I see you already have someone." lily smirks. you playfully roll your eyes, knowing what your fellow american friend is hinting at.
"oh be quiet! I'll give you my jersey when you play us in munich next time ok?" you smile.
"is oberdorf the girl you were talking about back at camp?" lily says.
back in the united states, you might've told the girls on the national team that you had a crush on someone from your club team. all of them begged for you to tell them who, but you refused.
"maybe..." you say.
lena and you grew extremely close throughout most of the season, and all of the fans were starting to notice.
all of your teammates did too-- and they were sick of lena and you cutting corners and not confessing your feelings to each other.
in march 2025, sometime before the start of the pokal games, lena and you sat in a media room, trapped thanks to pernille, ana, giulia, sydney, and georgia.
neither of you were allowed to come out of the room until you both confessed your feelings to each other.
three minutes of silence in the room passed by before lena had enough.
"I love you, y/n" she spoke up.
your heart flutters and your dimples appear on your face as she stares at you. she's sitting right beside you and you could see that she was nervous.
"gosh-- the dimples on your face are so cute. you've been my number one since I've arrived at bayern and if I told myself a year ago that I'd be falling in love with you or that I'd be here right now-- I'd laugh at myself. your laugh replays in my mind all of the time and the way we connect on and off of the pitch mad me realize how much I miss you when you're away for international camp. y/n If you don't feel the same--"
you knew what she was going to do. she was going to invalidate herself and start the whole "if you don't like me back" part of her confession.
she didn't have to though. you pulled your body on top of hers and kissed her. as if this happened a million times before, lena held onto the outside of your thighs and pulled yourself on top of her lap.
still kissing, five minutes ago by before you pull away.
"lena, i love you. i feel the same way about you. please be mine and let me be yours." you whisper against her lips.
you didn't give her a chance to respond before you made out with her lips again. she kissed you back and slipped her tongue into your mouth after you moaned slightly. the tension building up over the months was a lot.
"I'm yours." lena says as she forces herself to pull away from you. forgetting that the two of you are still at bayern training grounds.
"and I am yours." you repeat, starting a new relationship with your once old rival.
#lena oberdorf#woso fanfics#woso community#woso x reader#gerwnt#bayern frauen#bayern munich#paris olympics#lea schĂźller#sydney lohmann#georgia stanway#lily yohannes
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Hope you enjoy this short tarot reading.â¤ď¸
Pile One
TW: Family issues and abuse (I'm not getting anything too serious, but I just wanted people to be warned and not blindsided if something in a way resonates with those topics.)
Hello, pile one, your spirit guides want you to know that it's okay to speak up and use your voice. Communication is important, and it is your key to success. I see you are at war with yourselves and others. I see that some of you are struggling to speak up about something revolving around your past. This could be something revolving around your childhood, or if you have kids, this could be talking about them. I think you are the one holding yourself back talking about a situation or something that's been bothering you. I think this has to do with your home life, like past grievances with family that have never been resolved, but people just pretend like it isn't happening or happened; possibly you are not proud of your actions when you were younger, someone hurt you in some kind of way, or you could be dealing with a custody battle. You could be struggling with a person. Whatever it may be, your guides want you to speak up and use your voice, because you shouldn't have to keep quiet to make others happy because this will only keep you trapped, and others' happiness should not always be put on you, nor should it matter more than your happiness. You should have to make people's lives easier and, in turn, make yours harder. You need to have courage and remember that your guides and the people that love you will be there to support you every step of the way. So, whatever has been weighing on your heart and mind, it's time to let it out and speak. The truth will set you free.
Extra: She Used To Be Mine by Sara Bareilles, 4, 9, 15, 16, 40, 444, 777, "Everything will be okay," pain, trapped, chained up, worried, anxiety, clarity and truth, family, children, August, February, Gemini, Taurus, Aries, B, I, P, R, snakes, purse or bag, scorpion, claws, therapy, crying, Cinderella.
Pile Two
Hello, Pile two. I think that your guides want you to know that you are going to level up. What I mean by that is, some of you may start taking your spiritual and religious practices to the next phase. You are getting more serious about your practice. An example being you may stop just reading books on deities and may try to start communicating with one in particular. For others of you, I see you leveling up in your career or studies. I see some of you may be in law school, and you specifically are going to level up in your studies, but there is also an importance of leveling up in your self-care. I see many of you getting a promotion and getting in a higher position at work, like a supervisor or manager, something with authority. They want you to know that all these good things are going to happen to you because you deserve it and because of the hard work you put in. You should be proud of yourself.Â
Extra: Put Your Records On by Ritt Momney, 2, 4, 16, 18, 33, 42, 888, Libra, Aries, Sagittarius, Taurus, Capricorn, earth signs, D, C, Level up, spiritual, religion, win, promotion, money, law school, hardworking, fighter, "keep going.".
Pile Three
Hi pile three. I see that you have been struggling with your finances and career. You have been fighting this battle, and don't worry because the end of the battle is near. I see you are going to come out on top, and, very clearly, your guides are cheering you on and encouraging you not to give up since you are on your last stretch. You are heading for a calmer state of mind. Your hard work is going to be paying off very soon. They just want you to know to keep going and don't give up because they got your back.Â
Extra: Wishbone, smiley face, anchor, K, A, R, The caduceus, medical field, snake, love life might start improving too. War is over. I might have picked pile two as well.Â
I also have paid readings available here. â¤ď¸
#daily tarot#free tarot#pick a card#pick a picture#pick a pile#tarot pac#tarot pick a card#tarot reading#tarot#tarotblr#tarot cards#tarot community
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