#happy pride? or whatever theyve got going on

[nerice]

why do you. wear your nemesis's melody as an earring anyway huh.

[funzige-gedachten]

Happy pride month especially to kris and damon and whatever theyve got going on

[cactusringed]

Happy pride to Joel and Jimmy btw for whatever the fuck theyve got going on

[enderwoah]

free trial / 30 days smp headcanons because i love them:

crimeduo OP:

wil and tommy are gods/celestials from the 100p series,,,,and you know how theyre total assholes in those??

yeah so their higherups basically gave them a job that if they fucked up theyd be stripped of any and all powers because they're both AWFUL

which is why wil and tommy have op but you know not flying around and everything.

the job is keeping these six or seven or so cursed people in this enclosed space so they can live and the higherups can determine whether they can go to the not bad place or hell

since they all did shit that got them cursed but seemed to be improving.

they aren't as powerful as they were as full gods or whatever but they still have lingering powers (hence the spruce trapdoors)

beeduo curses:

tubbo got cursed to physically not be able to be awake for more than three hours

originally, it was going to be all day, but ranboo defended him and said he'd take part of the curse for himself

so now ranboo is cursed so that all of his emotions are connected with tubbo's!

all of them.

all feelings of happiness, sadness, inept terror -- it's why he freaks out so much whenever tubbo gets in danger,,,it's because tubbo is freaking out too.

ranboo knows for a fact that wilbur and specifically tommy can take away tubbo's curse but just don't, which is why he has so much animostiy specifically towards them whenever the subject comes up

benchtrio + wilbur's relationship:

tommy actually really likes tubbo and ranboo but tries not to talk to them too much because if he does he'll get attached and probably end up taking away their curses because he has the biggest fucking heart

but then he'll get in trouble!

so he keeps his distance and sends wilbur to check up on the beeduo, because he knows wilbur won't bend to them

wilbur is a lot better at being sympathetic but also not twisting to their wants.

he'll say it sucks that tubbo can't participate for more than three hours and then hear about building a MOB FARM in LIMBO and go "well yeah you fuckin glutton thats why you're cursed"

"it isn't even just gluttony what was the case report again?"

"gluttony? wrath? greed? i think those were the main ones"

wilbur teases tubbo about it and immediately ranboo goes defensive as hell and wilbur just cackles at him

"fucking pride or whatever that's why you share a curse"

jack "karl marx" manifold and sneeg "jeff bezos" snag:

jack manifold got sent there for being a dirty fucking commie

sneegsnag got sent there for being a corrupt capitalist

both of them are very confused as to what the hell god wants from them

thye both think each others' economic systems are evil viruses of satan though and theyve decided that whichever of them dies first has the inferior system

jack manifold is cursed with being unable to control his anger! and when it gets bad he starts to act...a lot less human

(see: the demon voice he had when he killed charlie)

his rage can overtake him to the point where when he calms down he feels as if it was someone else...

he didn't mean to kill charlie. it wasn't his fault.

it wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for his stupid fucking curse.

charlie goop sludge sop gunk slime slimecicle:

he's just a slimy boy :)

he was cursed so that anything he touches turns soft and slimy if he touches it for too long

his hair is completely slime

and if he stands in one place for too long he'll start sinking into the soft ground

so he wears these really thick galoshes lol

he knows very well what he did to get here :)

and he knows that if he does nothing at all, the gods will be confused as to where to put him

so perhaps, if he does nothing but wait for that timer to tick down to zero

he can finally have peace in a limbo for no one else but him

and maybe other people should be able to have some peace too! everyone should just wait for the timer.

everyone should just wait for the timer.

the husbands:

ranboo took this curse upon himself and doesn't regret it in the slightest

and will never regret it

even though tubbo is...definitely an oddball when it comes to emotions

he's far better at controlling them because they're his emotions, but ranboo isn't used to the pure anger the boy has stewing inside of him

so while tubbo might look slightly miffed, if not perfectly fine

ranboo could be seething with pure, unfettered rage and probably lunge at someone

(that's probably why "wrath" was on tubbo's case report)

hence why tubbo seems to not really care about his curse

but he does. he's pissed about it. and ranboo doesn't know how to hide that.

and ranboo threatens to murder tommy whenever the subject comes up

that's only for three hours a day, though!

the rest of the time is hell because he'll go through mood swings due to watever tubbo's dreaming about

but ranboo doesn't regret it

of course not

because if he did, then what kind of person would he be?

definitely not the stand-up guy he says he is and everyone sees him as (when he's not being influenced)!

so no, he doesn't regret it. and even if he did, he'd die (again) with that secret.

(which is why pride was on his case report.)

bird:

phil was originally an angel but fell

tommy and wilbur definitely know why

nobody else does and phil isn't going to tell them

tommy and wilbur...i wouldnt say look down on phil

but they look down on phil

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

look man, even if he hadn't fallen, they're still above him

anyways, phil mostly keeps to himself so he can last for the full thirty days

because he's lived for a long time

and he knows that these kids aren't going to last

it wouldn't be his first time outliving everyone in his surroundings

...but this time, he'll be sure not to be the one whittling them down.

[strangesigils]

HEY YALL I GOT NEWS

tl;dr: All revenue I am making through tips, redbubble, and paid commissions will be going to LGBTQ+ Refugees in Kenya. Not by donating to an organization, but sending it to people I know there personally so I know it will reach them.

So as most of you know, I make a little bit of revenue from what I do here, between paid sigil commissions through my fiverr (link in my blog description) and occasional donations through my ko-fi (link in the description)

I also make 10% profit from and sigil printed items I have put on Redbubble.

What most of you dont know is that irl I work with a local LGBTQ2S+ Pride Organization (which I'm not going to name as I'm not comfy giving away my location), and members of this organization including myself sponsored a LGBTQ+ refugee to come in to Canada from Kenya. Through them I met some of their friends from the same camp as them online.

Were not able to bring in more refugees at this time due to lack of people to help with the hands-on work, and even if we did we dont get to choose people we know by name unless were prepared to pay twice as much to bring them in. Which we unfortunately cannot afford..

So I've been talking to one lady that our person knows whose been acting as a main spokesperson for LGBTQ+ activism in her camp, I've been chatting with her through facebook for a bit over a year now.

I could tell you the hell that LGBTQ+ people in these camps have to endure every day but I dont want this post to get too graphic. But it's really fucking bad and people get sent to the hospital often just for being who they are. Their main thing right now though is a lot of people in the community have diabetes and have no means of checking their blood sugar, so theyve been attempting some crowdfunding so they can afford to get these tests and insulin and any other medication that they need.

So I've already sent them whatever money I had stockpiled sitting in my PayPal account to them to use for medication and for her pneumonia treatment at the time, but I've decided that any money I make here I'm going to be sending to them.

And so for those of you who are able to, I'd really appreciate your help and support in this within reason. And if you wish I will tell them them names of who donated and how much, theyd like to pray for happiness for the people who help.

Heres some pictures they sent me of the people in LGBTQ+ community in the camp, they have given me permission to share these, if anybody has questions feel free to send me a private message about it as asks are currently turned off

[gingerbreton]

tmi tuesday!!! especially because i feel like i haven’t heard enough about ysabelle lately!!! what would be her favorite movie in a modern AU? if she and alistair got their own mabari (besides Aedan’s), what would they name it? what’s her and alistair’s favorite way to spend a rainy afternoon? ❤️

Thank you so much for asking!  I am always happy to talk about my best girl!  

So Izzy would tell you she was into some edgy action movie or obscure comedy, but whenever she get some time at home on her own, especially if she’s feeling rough, she’s straight onto Pride & Prejudice or Sense & Sensibility. She’ll never admit it, and Alistair pretends not to notice when she’s left the dvd cases out.  

They call their first mabari Loghain.  Alistair isn’t fond of the idea at first until Izzy points out the endless possibilities… “Loghain rolled in fox poop again”, “Loghain, stop sniffing Eamon’s crotch”.  After that, he’s all for it.  Don’t get me wrong, they adore that hound.  In fact, Alistair is so entertained at the thought of telling him off, that he finds it impossible to actually be mad at him.  

Rainy afternoons for Ali and Izzy are lazy afternoons.  They are a fantastic excuse to sprawl on the sofa in a tangle of limbs either reading or watching the kind of films that make them laugh until they cry (especially with Alistair spending the rest of the afternoon badly misquoting whatever they’ve just watched to keep Izzy giggling).  Either that, or they can be found in the kitchen attempting to cook or bake something they’ve never tried before.  Alistair is usually more of a hindrance than a help, but that’s half the fun!

[crowfoodies]

What... what's wrong with xylax? I've been playing lioden, the game he does art for, for two years and haven't noticed anything.

uhh this is probably gonna be kinda incoherent cus im sleeby and im bad at articulating myself

ok so xyl/x is an admin and artist of liod/n but i know he probably doesnt make all of the executive decisions alone/without consulting the staff but… lioden kinda creepy right?lik for example the apedem/k/apolly/n questline (i believe theyve since changed this due to outrage But) included a plot line abt inc*st which really has no place in a game as you absolutely cannot gauge what content your userbase are okay with interacting with and even so heavy topics such as that should be handled with extreme care that the staff did not show

the february event has certain encounters that imo are kinda transphobic (source: im trans) and when asked abt this the staff just brushed off the discomfort caused by the encounters - plus the encounter with the male dwarfism lion was a shitty joke i think but i dont really consider myself the right person to speak on that in length

(not to also mention the fact that the art of that encounter and a few others in that event borders on pornographic and really shouldn’t be part of a main event of a site with a 16+ age rating)

then in the general game itself you got the whole claiming system with lionesses. i think it is important to note that they are just pixels in a game, sure, but the wording is very suspect when you think about who is making this game. xyl/x is okay with allowing the player to lay “claim” to female npcs/women. this misogyny would doubtless have been brought up  if liod/n was a triple a game, but is brushed off because its a pet sim, but i dont think thats an excuse.uhh i think the way deaf and blind lions are handled within the game mechanics is kinda shitty too - people claim liod/n is realistic but you can have a pink/blue/green tig/n or leop/n or straight up fantasy smilod/n leading your pride and take part in events that involve you having an ancient god riding around on your back or lions from the stars asking you for help, so it really isnt. so, why can’t a blind or deaf lion be the leader of your pride? they have other senses, their pridemembers are sapient to the point where they would look after their pridemates and allow even disabled ones to grow to adulthood. It would arguably be easier coding-wise to not impose this limitation on blind and deaf lions, and so i dont really understand why they chose to do so. i am not blind or deaf, so i cannot speak for anyone with those disabilities, but these mechanics seem like ableism to me.also its b/s that the leader of a player’s pride has to be a male lion its 2018.i dont like xyl/x himself because he claims that straight discrimination is a thing lol  and as i said before, i dont think all these decisions were xyl/x’s per se, but he definitely has power to change the site for the better and either chooses not to or doesn’t see what’s wrong with this type of content. i think that people are so impressed by xyl/x’s artistic skill and eager to interact with a game with art of that quality that they are quite happy to eat up whatever content he puts out   at the end of the day this is just what ive taken from playing liod/n for a few years on and off. ive seen people under the age rating who play liod/n which disheartens me as its content means that the site really should be 18+ and better policed. of course, im in no way saying that everyone should stop playing liod/n, if you enjoy doing so continue as i dont really believe a few people quitting here and there are going to make a difference, but these are the reasons that made me stop playing. 

[tumblunni]

.

Man i was just thinking again about that idea i had for a cliche gijinka app card game where the gijinkas are all Interesting Bugs instead of weird sexy anime george washington.

I've kinda got quite attatched to my idea for a leech gijinka as a super cuddly white mage who just happens to look emo and scary. And they'd be a great opportunity for nonbinary representation cos in real life leeches don't have binary sexes anyway. But i cant decide between whether i want them to look like a full plague doctor mask thing or a more cliche cutesy nurse but theyre like super tall and look like the monster girl from the ring so they get sad that people always run away before they can help them! So then i was thinking "hey, alternate skins!" Not like in the other games ive played where there's always one canon skin and all the others require hours of grinding and/or real money to buy. But just that there's like three or so randomized versions of the base character with all the same stats but a different costume. Just to spice up the pool of options a bit! Or maybe it could even be more than just the costume and you can get entirely different reinterpretations of that job class? Like the medusa jellyfish could be either a young kid or a grandpa!

Oh and i'm not really sure how to name this or anything? Cos its not really a clear category of animals, its not all insects or all worms or whatever. More like just..all the animals that are unfairly hated but have Cool Biology Facts that i can babble at u to maybe make u like them more. So i dunno.. Pests? Creepy crawlies? Some entirely made up fantasy term for them?

Also i think the setting will definately be jrpg fantasy! Just a world where all these critters are actually funky people on a comedically bad D&D quest. I wonder who the villains could be tho? Maybe theyre gijinkas of more commonly loved cute animals? Or like.. Not gijinkas but monsterfied versions? Hilariously over the top evil fluffums! hamsters are this setting's dragons! And i dunno maybe the ultimate dark lord is a dog with a cat for a royal vizier or something, cos theyre the kings of popularity.

This could also make it actually make sense why the Clione character could be a beserker like in real life! Cos theyre the most un-hated rare sea slug for looking cute, but their actual personality is big scary predator. But in this universe being seen as cute by humans = evil, so the Clione's fighty doom personality would make perfect sense! Im not sure if i should make them like a tormented Shadow esque antihero or a paladin-looking knight who has a dark streak or maybe even a viking? Cos in videogames theyre like the epitome of 'loves fighting but is still a nice hugs guy'. And it'd be neat to have a chubby buff clione instead of the more cliche bishie gijinka. But then i mean theyre literally nicknamed 'sea angels' or 'sea fairies' depending on country so yeah? Oh or maybe that could mean i make them an elf or an angel but theyre still mega buff! Viking guy with lil chibi wings and halo!

Also randomly i think that Slug will be the other nonbinary character along with Leech. Cos well there's a lot of bugs who dont fit the human gender binary but i'd probably be a bit too obnoxious if i had like 90% enbies and noone else. I always think about like 'if this is my first game project i need to go at a small and reasonable pace with all the Big LGBT Feels', yknow? But then every idea i do is always my first game project cos ive never completed any of them yet XD

Anyway i think Slug would be a more fashionable bishie kind of androgenous character, while Leech is a relateable cuddly socially awkward one who wears a mask. But definately also looks stylish in their own way, and i'm sure Slug is always complimenting them and trying to bolster their spirits! Aside from being super fashionable i also think maybe Slug would be a wandering bard? Cos somehow slow animal -> lazy human -> free spirited instead to be less cliche -> bard. Also the whole 'bard rolls to seduce every boss' meme, lol! So Slug is a very nyeheheh tricksy flirty adventuring song person who aint take nobody's shit. Instead of being sleepy they sleep on the concept of low self confidence! Full and powerful pride at all times!!! Goal in life is to be beautiful AF and handsome AF and make everyone swoon at your feet and also recite an epic poetry so cool that your enemies straight up die from the sick burn. Tho i mean i don't think anyone could actually ACHIEVE that, lol! It might be obnoxious if i actually have a character who's basically 'enby people are literally perfect in all ways'. So i just think Slug is a big ol dork who's like the Gaston archetype of the comically overconfident flirt, but like a good and heroic version who actually respects when people say no to their advances. And is also a great BFF to Leech and tries to help them get out of their shell, because well of course Slug is out of theirs XD

Also actually i dunno whether they should all just be named after the animal or have thier own names but the animal is mentioned on their profile as a job class name or something? Cos it might get awkward once we get to more specific obscure bugs with longer names or ones who only really have a scientific genus name. I'd feel like i'd have to make them all wizards cos their names sound like spells! Oh MAYBE THEYRE SPELLS!! Like each character could chant their own scientific name when they use their ultimate attack??

Oh and maybe Slug and Leech could be just based on the species in general but have their alternate costumes themed after more specific rare subspecies? Like Slug could have nudibranch themed costumes cos the vibrant colours would fit such an elegant fashioniste~ And leech could just be an opportunity to talk about how there's subspecies of leech that dont drink blood, though this character is based on the ones that do because otherwise they wouldnt really have a unique job class, lol. Maybe their rarest alt costume is a fashionable orange ensemble that symbolizes both Slug taking them out for a night on the town in their finest to feel more comfortabke in their self confidence, and also just the fact there's an orange tropical leech. Its kinda funny cos there isnt such a huge range of different colours for leeches, its mostly just different barely visible patterns and a spectrum from greenish brown to brownish black, lol. And then suddenly a bunch of wildly different red and orange ones! And nothing in between! Really does seem like a surprise makeover from your bestie, yknow?

Oh and then when i was thinking about other potential relationships between different magic bug people, i thought of Daddy Longlegs! Cos thats a name confusingly given to multiple bugs of wildly different species who're all mistaken for spiders when they really arent. And this mythical nonexistant daddy longlegs spider also has the myth of having 'the strongest poison but its fangs are too short to bite you' which is COMPLETE nonsense based on nothibg cos how would it even survive in the wild if it cant hunt? But its a real cool myth so it could be an awesome excuse to make them have a move that gambles on either an instant kill or a self debuff. ALSO THEY ARE MARRIED

I was thinking they could be a duo of fabulous zorro-looking assassin dudes who were sent to assassinate each other but instead fell in love and quit the business for good. Like 'you made me want to live again, and the only reason i threw my life away on this job was cos i wanted to die'. And to atone for all the bad mercenary stuff theyd done in the past, now theyre robin hood esque mercenaries who take jobs with world-saving hero groups like our protagonists. And they work for free as long as the cause is just! And they wish they could settle down someday and dream about having children of their own, but they feel like they dont deserve it after all that theyve done. They'd be a rare goofy bugmans that actually have a real emotional backstory! So anyway they're fancy fencing guys who're both the same class but maybe slightly different variants with different stat builds or abilities? More specialized and all. Like maybe one is speedy but weaker and one is slower but stronger? Or one relies more on luck based attacks and one is a consistant damage dealer but has a lower max damage cap? Or even one is status effects and one is attack and really even though they have the same job name theyre wildly different interpretations of it. Fitting for the entomology mistake husbands! I want them to be balanced so that they have special bonuses together but are still viable to use separately if your party setup only requires one of them. Also randomly i think their names would be Albedo and Rubedo? I was originally gonna make Rubedo the name of the leech cos i mean alchemy words and plague masks and all. But then it doesnt really SOUND like an alchemy word, it sounds like a fancy handsome dancer name. And then i started thinking about the cute once-sad-now-happy young assassin dads fighting together so well that it looks like one big dance between them, rather than a battle. And i got REAL EMOTIONAL over goddamn bug gijinkas! Man my heart is made of paper and mush!! Oh and maybe they have combo attacks together but also with all of the party members that are younger? Like special dad instinct combo! A built in ability that they automatically shield the kids from enemy attacks. YOU HIRED A MERCENARY BUT YOU RECEIVED A NICE MARRIED COUPLE WHO PROMPTLY ADOPT YOU. Oh and maybe their alternate costumes could just be each other's costumes? Like they'd already be wearing matching red and white versions of the same thing, but then albino dad wears ginger dad's version and vice versa. Or maybe their alt costumes are different complimentary colour pairs like black and gold or blue and pink? And maybe their ultra rare special costume is Big Cute Dorky Argyle Dad Sweaters! It must be capitalized cos it is IMPORTANT!

Oh and then i was also thinking about the idea i had before of bugs with a queen hive structure being like the workers are the common unit and the breeders and queens and such are rarer variants? But the workers are the only ones actually good in a fight, the others are just for collectables sake. Rare but useless, just like how the real queen bee is so big that she cant leave the hive, and never figjts a day in her life unless the kingdom has already fallen. So maybe queen bee is still unlockable as a rare character but she's just a support that makes worker bee stronger? Like you get a lil event of worker's boss coming to honor her with a knighthood for her good service, allowing her to upgrade her job class. Tho i think she still fights with construction work equipment, now its just like a golden jewelled shovel XD

[rigginsstreet]

If I am correct, Thomas Topaz didn’t say that the serpents evolved from the uktena (a native ethnic group), they ARE the uktena. So to me, it just seems weird that an ethnic group will basically let just anyone join them as long as they pass an initiation? Its weird Betty wants to join an oppressed group??? To me being a serpent means living through the south-side struggle and idk how she wouldn't understand that.

im still trying to figure out how fps white ass is in charge of this whole thing right now like nobody fucking thought this backstory through but ANYWAY

i feel like i could get into a whole discussion about this but its beyond fucking bizarre to me that we have the show showcasing a run-of-the-mill street gang, which are generally made up of minorities and/or poor folk, while simultaneously showing us, albeit in very fragmented pieces, the mafia, which is more highbrow. the mob is where the money is. and they wanted to touch on the economical and racial issues of street gangs, but it completely gets thrown out the window as soon as they wanna throw betty into shit and have alice “go back to her roots”. like no... sorry, thats not your life anymore and you know nothing of it not to mention how often has alice spoken against the south side but suddenly its like “well my mugshot got printed and i had to hide a dead body so ya know.... #thuglife” get the fuck out of here the coopers no longer represent that life and its so beyond insulting that this show is trying to make me believe this is all just normal. i am offended on behalf of the serpents since apparently they are so quick to forgive and welcome in stuffy north siders with open arms. and itd be one thing if betty or alice had actually done anything to help the serpents/the south side but.... i cant some up with a single damn thing. betty blackmailing cheryl to get fp a lesser sentence had nothing to do with either. it was about making her boyfriend happy. all theyve done is drag jughead and fp (i just wrote fred and fp... god i miss them) into their mess which they shouldve NEVER HAVE DONE OH IM GONNA BE MAD ABOUT THAT FOR AS LONG AS I LIVE. so yeah...the coopers have done absolutely nothing to help anybody. in fact, one could argue theyve only made peoples lives worse. 

but yall just sit here and act like this makes sense because ~betty and alice look hot in leather~ so whatever. ive made peace with the fact that the riverdale fandom at large is not capable of forming deeper thoughts. and i get it. its a tv show. who fucking cares. but when the cast and writers and producers and fans pride themselves on being #woke .... youre not. its a joke. and i feel like im the one in the twilight zone because its like me and 5 other people who can see past the smoke and mirrors

[funzige-gedachten]

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Bojan whimpering audio when? As you can see i reacted accordingly

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THE CAT IN JANS HAIR IN ANTWERP‼️ I SCREAMED

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Happy pride month especially to kris and damon and whatever theyve got going on

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[mattyslittleworld]

East Keansburg

P: Rob Sellig 

2:48 am / Thursday morning. Im listening to this new Tsu Surf & Mozzy project, thinking about this kid I grew up around. Ive been reading he passed away, which is such a shame. We grew up playing basketball together at St. Catherines in EK, middle school, high school, alternative high schools, programs together. Troubled youth. I have this specific memory of him from years ago. I believe I wrote about it in my last blog post, about watching somebody get curb stomped. I was a lost kid, me and my friends aimless, drifting from group to group. Ended up spending a lot of late nights in EK wandering the streets. This night specifically, there were about 7 of us. A homie of mine was interested in writing graffiti, and this was before music, so graffiti was basically my identity. So we met up at his house, where my friend had a group of heads over, and they were partying, selling, and just going off. He lived with his parents, which speaks volumes, because at this time in my life, everyones parents gave up...nobody gave a fuck, except mine, but they couldn't control me. One thing leads to another, my boy wanted to go bombing. So we leave his house with our paint, and just take the streets, 5 reckless kids fallowing us on skateboards and bikes. Wasted, loud, rowdy, reckless, but as an outsider, I found a silver lining in their terror....it was a middle finger to the society that never gave them a chance. It was a brotherhood. This specific kid, at this point, was in and out of county, witnessed him fighting over and over in school, and in the streets since day 1. We were walking tall through the backroads in EK....they were spray painting cars...houses...anything. No fucks given. Wasted...they were breaking windows...kicking dents in BMW’s. Playing music off the phone...they were all they got. Another group of kids ended up on the same block....and they went off. A fight broke out....and I have this specific memory of boy ripping his shirt off, passionate, raging with anger, to protect his brotherhood, his street crew, his family. Being around him since I was a little kid, school, ball, mutual friends....I never got to know him deeper than this...but I would always see him and just salute his pride, and his will to stand on his actions, and his will to fucking fight for who and what he loves. Rest In Power fam. A lot of homies reading this from EK who follow my music...yall know who I am talking about. I never got to know this man - but I salute him for how much of HIM HE REALLY WAS. I remember in 2006, I was a freshman in high school, and my cousin ended up in a fight with a senior over a friend who passed away. My cousin was intoxicated during this time, in school, and I ended up beating the dog shit out of this senior as a young kid. These EK boys were the only ones who showed love, who stood tall behind me, making sure I was good, safe, and assuring me I was doing the right thing. Cant let your family go down like that. Rest In Peace man.

Last year, days before Tsu Surfs album Seven 25 dropped, he doubled back and we hit the studio and recorded a song called “Make You Proud”. He dropped the album very shortly after and it went #2 on iTunes in under 24 hours, and I was sure I wasn't going to see that man ever again. A year later, here we are...a day before he drops this joint project with Mozzy...that debuted at #5 on itunes, were dapping up at a film set in Queens, NY to film the music video. A YEAR LATER, this man gave a fuck enough to pull up and bless my career with this video. That meant a lot to me. I specifically remember feeling alone, hopeless, in some of the darkest moments of my life. Just listening to his tape over and over and over....running laps at the track at Mader Dei Highschool. It gave me hope, it motivated me to get over the feelings that were weighing me down. My life was changing, and this eased the pain. Nobody likes the motions of change if it includes losing people you love....losing the ability to do things you love...and going places you love. You have to find new health, new wealth, and new routines. My new found routine was coffee in the morning...spending an hour studying the industry...listening to my podcasts...then immediately running laps listening to his tape. Anything after that was subjective. Nowadays its basketball instead of running laps....but it gave me health. Mentally and physically. I could collect my thoughts. I could hear real stories....being gunned down 5 times and bouncing back...then charting. Here we are. On set....once again with Rob...my brother on the directing tip. My new lovely friend Victoria, who's a beautiful, ambitious, ride or die artist of her own. Robs pops. Mike Oliva, who is a SAVAGE photographer and film maker himself. It was a trip. Over the past year, kids at bars, hardcore shows, normals, civilians, people from all over and the world have been DMing me about simply just a teaser and a photograph of me and Surf in a studio. With Albee Al, Casanova, Cage - its all a specific group of people. Mainly mainstream music consumers...radio listeners...people who are tapped into Instagram and culture. But with Surf - Ive had the pleasure of speaking to people from all walks of life. Old hardcore friends telling me how much his movement has touched their lives...so wild. I was late to his wave...Belv actually told me to tap in and do it, and that's my brother so I made sure I did for the team. We drank hot chocolate and coffee, listened to our favorite music so loud, have such great conversations, got amazing footage that im so proud of, and just overall killed the mission. Nothing makes me more happy. This was a moment for me....because for the first time...im not in silly poppy clothes...im myself...im spitting bars on it...I feel and look like the person who was painting freights in 2007. And that is very important to me. Sometimes you can get swallowed by the wave youre riding...and I am guilty of that. It influenced so much of me...and recently I said look...fuck all this. Fuck everything except for whatever inside me still lingering before back and forth. Because if those passions, those tendencies, those people, are still here and within me...theyve been growing all this time, strong, sticking by me, and that's me. Shitty hoodie. Airmaxes or vans, shitty hat, stupid hair, cutty as fuck, smiling. dirty skateboard kid just trying be great man. I miss my old Mercer Ave skate crew. Its been years. 

Im starting to go through a new awakening where im witnessing the ones around me unfold in such a distasteful manner. Its pretty crazy to spend time with people, face to face, and have dinner, coffee, laughing with each other one on one....and in my head at the same time think...this mother fucker dead ass hates me. Wants to kill me. Wants me to fail. Fucks heavy with EVERYONE who has done wrong to me. Has talked shit behind my back. Has stabbed me in the back. And they are such fucking clowns....they don't know that I know...and they don't even comprehend that im being a bigger person and not addressing shit below me, because I don't have room for shit like that in my life. This is the time where people fuck with you one foot in, for opportunity, to hit a lick, to keep the link, to get to the people you fuck with. It is literally so easy to show love...and yet people close to you just won't. Its an interesting concept. I am fortunate in the sense that I am self made, self built, and already a black sheep. If everybody in my life turned their backs, it wouldn't touch my career. So therefore, I don't have this fuckery nature in my behavior. I don't fuck with you, I don't fuck with you. Thats it. Im learning you cannot trust people who fuck with you one foot in....because that means they're prepared to step away at any moment when you're down. They don't got your back. They are around people who drag your name through the mud, and they allow it. AT BEST...since they have one foot in....theyll tap in and say such and such said this....but why didn't you defend me? Why were they okay with these actions with you? Because your friend has their other foot with the opps. Fuck these types of people. Forever. Ive been seeing people put up with this behavior, and I figured id speak on it, because its been on my mind. You don't have to get treated like shit to fit in. Truth is, your friends are probably wack. Your friends probably hate you. Your friends don't want you to do better than them. And no, it doesn't matter how long you've known them. Most relationships stem and grow out of convenience, and lack of change, lack of ambition, lack of dreams and goals. I always thought, its actually very easy to be a good friend when they need you...in moments of tragedy and misery. Because that doesn't shake your foundation, and make you realize you aint shit. It doesn't challenge your framework. Its harder for most people to be a good friend when their friend is celebrating success, because the human nature is to compare, and sometimes that can be a mirror reflection of how you AINT SHIT. Recognize these people and cut this cancer out of your system. Or if you are this person, we all have been at one point, cone to terms with how wack you are and be a good person lmao. I want to see my plumbing friend look me in the eyes and go “im the best plumber in this area and im gunna kill this job and make a living for my family and buy a BMW”, just like I want to see my graphic designer friends believe after their hard work that they're qualified OVER SOMEONE ELSE for their job, to make a great living. Just like I want to see a musician, or rapper, talk his shit and believe in themselves, go platinum, and make a great living and buy a Range. Being around greatness inspires me, never scares me. I love being at the bottom, it amps me up. It gets me going. It gets me off. I love the fight, the grind, the game. Whether its music, or washing windows in the freezing dead of winter for commission to pay for fucking studio time to be where I am right the fuck now boiiiiiii. 

Me and Belv have some crazy shit coming. That is all. Okay bye.