#happy new year tumblr
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
How can I make it OK?
Arthur Morgan x reader
Summary : you're homesick.
gender neutral reader, no use of y/n, not explicitly romantic unless you wanna read it that way, 3K words
Warnings : swearing, mentions of suicide, panic attack described in semi detail, not the jolliest thing i've ever written
A/N : first post that's actually writing in 2025 ! wrote most of this on the train while listening to house in nebraska by ethel cain and more than this by wolf alice so yeah. also this isn't arthur heavy in the sense that it's reader rambling about being homesick mostly. to be read in a southern accent as god intended
Of all the places I have travelled with the Van Der Linde gang, I think this is my least favourite.Ā
Living- or rather, camping- in the ruins of some plantation, bodies of the former owners stagnating in the pond. Sometimes I hear āem- the ghosts, in the walls, screaminā. I know itās my mind, playing tricks on me; but itās harder to have that rational thought when youāre lying alone in the middle of the night, wind whistling through broken windows. Itās not that I donāt like having a roof over my head. Shit, everyone in this godforsaken gang is happy to have a real shelter from the weather, even one as flimsy as this house. So I shut my mouth, hunt as Iām expected-which is what I am doing now, borrowed bow over my shoulder, quiver resting comfortingly between my shoulder blades.Ā
Hunting is familiar. Back in the Grizzlies, where my daddy raised me, weād go out any time of day, in any weather, hunt for the coming storms. Iād do everything the way he taught me to- lay out traps, wait behind a boulder, bow in hand. It builds patience, he told me when I asked why the hell we didnāt just track the damn animal, instead of waitinā in the cold for it to find us.Ā
Now, itās not cold, and dear old daddy aināt here to help.Ā
I left my horse hitched by a lake, with enough grass for him to be fed and well until I bring back something worthy of Pearson. Itās near sunrise; already, the heat is uncomfortable; my skin is sticky, my clothes uncomfortable. Itās moments like these that I long for the snow.Ā
I wipe my forehead with the back of my head. Iāve been walking for a little while now, waiting for a pack of deer to pass by. Thereās something that bothers me about killing them- maybe itās their eyes, so big and brown, caught frozen as they stare at you. Or maybe itās their resemblance to this little girl I knew, at a local village at the base of the mountain where I grew up.Ā
I shake the thought of her big brown eyes and twitchy nose as I spot a herd of āem, grazing near a small stream. Thereās enough light for me to count them- seven, big enough to feed us.Ā
I get on one knee, like my daddy taught me. Notch an arrow in the bow, pull it back. One of the poor animals raises its head, looks in my direction.Ā
Before I can hesitate, I let go, and the arrow flies; a fraction of a second later, it has notched itself in the animalās throat. It falls; its friends, the rest of its herd (its gang, I think, almost laughing) scamper off, into the woods. I donāt go after them. Pearson will have to do with this, and whatever herbs or mushrooms Iām able to pick up.Ā
The doe is dead by the time I reach her. I kneel. Pull the arrow from her neck; thick, sticky blood gets on my hands. I almost reach for snow, to clean it off; curse myself when my fingertips meet grass and mud. The doeās dead eye stares up at me, brown and empty as the sky. I resist the urge to close them.Ā
āSorry, sweet.ā I whisper it as I hoist her up, put her over my shoulder. Sheās heavy. I must be getting blood on my shirt- itās a shame, because itās my favourite colour, and Iāve just bought it.Ā
I swallow any regrets I feel as I walk back to my horse, the weight of the doe uncomfortable against my bow and quiver.Ā
Youāre the reason she wonāt come home, a little voice whispers in my head. I stop, then, because my chest is tightening and I canāt really breathe. I say something incoherent. The fields around me are empty- itās just me and this doe.Ā
I drop her into the mud and loosen my shirt, gasping for air. I want cold, I want crisp mountain air; not this thick, humid, barely-air that clogs my throat and makes my lungs heavy.Ā
I dig my fingers into the mud and grass, as I would have done in the snow, back home. Home. What a weird thought. I catch the dead doeās eye again, and thatās when the tears come, thick and hot and nasty, blurring my vision. So stupid, I think, as I force myself to stare at her. She- no, it- is just an animal. She doesnāt have a home, not the way I did. Do.Ā
I think of crying out for help, but thatās pathetic, and Iām a lot of things, but pathetic aināt one of them.Ā
I think I stay there, on my knees, fingers deep in the mud, for a long time- when my vision clears again and Iāve stopped gasping for air, the sky is clear, clear blue, no traces of sunrise left. If I focus hard enough on it, I can almost pretend Iām back in the mountains.Ā
I get up, teeth digging into my tongue to prevent any new feelings from resurfacing. Iām not in the goddamn mountains. All thatās left for me there is two frozen bodies deep beneath the snow, and a hut thatās probably been raided or taken over by some other gang.Ā
I pick the doe up, this time careful to avoid looking at her face. Its face. Itās an animal, not my goddamn sister.Ā
I make it back to my horse without another incident; strap the doe across his back and climb onto his saddle. His name is Coal, ācause of the colour oā him- black and charcoal grey, a streak of white down his face.Ā
āHey, boy,ā I murmur to him as I flick the reigns. My voice is shaky, hoarse; itās obvious that Iāve been crying.Ā
Coal begins to trot back to camp. I think of changing direction, of going to Rhodes, clear my thoughts. But I gotta bring this back to Pearson, or heāll skin me.Ā
The camp is still there when I return, which is a relief. I donāt think Iāll forget the moment when I came back after a hunt and found everyone gone, everything burned to the ground.Ā
I shiver at the memory and get off Coal. āIāll come ānd fix your saddle later,ā I say to him, scratching his neck. He grunts, in a tone I hope is affectionate. I remove the doe, put her back over my shoulder. Make it to Pearsonās stand, where heās angrily chopping vegetables.Ā
āHey,ā I say, dropping the doe in front of him. I angle her head- her eyes- away from me. āGot some meat.āĀ
āI can see that,ā is Pearsonās kind answer.Ā
I ignore him and walk away again, into the derelict house weāve been callinā home for the last few weeks. My room is on the top floor; I wish I shared it with someone, but I got lucky (Dutchās words) and got my own, private room.Ā
I tug off my bloodstained shirt and drop it on the floor. Thereās nothinā to be done about my trousers- theyāre the only pair Iāve got (the others have just been washed, and hang soaking wet outside) and I donāt plan on walking around bare-legged.Ā
I change quickly. Sit down on the bed, stare at the wall.Ā
I donāt know how long I stay like that; starinā at the peeling wallpaper, trying to pretend itās the same white as the snow I used to see out my window. Obviously, the pretendinā donāt work, because itās not the snow, itās a crumbling fuckinā wall in a crumbling fuckinā house. I stand, take a deep breath in (of hot, hot, humid, thick air), push it out. It aināt cleansing- I donāt feel better once Iāve tasted the surrounding bogs- but itās enough to calm my heartbeat, and make me feel somewhat human again.Ā
For the rest of the day, I help around camp, doing stupid, mind-numbing tasks. I try not to think of the mountains, and how much better than this godforsaken swamp they were. People talk to me, and I answer, polite and all. I eat Pearsonās stew, listen to another grandiose speech about Dutchās plan (or, as far as Iām concerned, concepts of a plan). I finally find a moment of quiet sitting on a log, staring out at the swamp. Not the prettiest sight; all brown and green, with hints of yellow dust.Ā
Iām alone for only a few minutes before I hear footsteps. I turn, and find Arthur approaching, taking his cigarette packet from his satchel. I shift on the log Iām sitting on, making the split second decision that his company is something I want right now.Ā
He sits next to me, silently. Offers me a cigarette (I decline with a shake of my head and a wave of my hand) then lights his own with a match. He stays quiet for a little while, blowing smoke from his mouth, tinting the world blue and grey.Ā
Itās strange, sitting next to him. He donāt mind being quiet; seems to like my company well enough, ācause he keeps coming back here to smoke.Ā
Heās the one who found me, all that time ago, on a solo hunt in the Grizzlies. It was at the edge of the mountains, where it starts to get warmer; where the sun melts away most of the snow. Was from Blackwater, he said- I asked if I could go back with him. Promised Iād leave āem all alone when I got there, I just needed a job, as far from my daddyās corpse as I could get. Heād said yes, maybe reluctantly.Ā
Turns out, Iād found somethin' better than a job. Not quite a family, but a gang, people to rely on, people to distract me from the emptiness created by my fatherās death. I suppose itās these people keeping me here, in this swampy nowhere, sweating my socks off. Here, Iāve got people- back in the mountains, Iāve got two dead bodies and an empty house.Ā
My chest tightens again, and wordlessly, I take the cigarette from Arthurās hand, take a long drag. I hand it back, still silent, and dig my fingernails into my knuckles.Ā
āYou miss home?ā Arthur asks me, his words marked by the smoke curling from his mouth. I take the cigarette from his fingers again, press it between my teeth, inhale ātill I can blame the burning in my eyes on the smoking rather than whatever has grabbed hold of me; whatever old, buried feeling Iād thought long gone had chosen to make an appearance. Guess it must be more obvious than I thought, that Iām feelinā odd, ācause he clearly smelled it on me.Ā
āI donāt know, I guess,ā I say, softly, fiddling with the dirty fabric of my trousers as I hand the cigarette back; as if I donāt know the answer, as if I havenāt spent half my goddamn life thinking about this. I exhale, blowing out smoke from my nose.Ā āNever really thought about it.ā The lie burns in my throat, so thick I can hardly breathe.Ā
Itās not the stability that I miss. The weather in the Grizzlies was nothinā permanent, not in any sense- one minute itās a blizzard, the next youāre standing staring at the bright blue sky, knee deep in snow. I guess itās the wolves howling, itās the comfort of a fire as wind rattles against the window panes; itās even the way the stars look after three days holed up inside. Thereās no one thing I miss or donāt miss- I just know I miss it, so much that my chest tightens at the thought.Ā
When my daddy got shot, three- no, four- years ago, I thought the one answer was to leave that place behind; pack up my clothes and go out into the Wild Wild West, make my own future away from the smell of his freshly dug grave, right next to my mamaās frozen bones. And when I came across Arthur, and later his gang of gung-ho outlaws, who seemed ready to take on the world, I thought that was it- my life was set.Ā
But I donāt like the constant moving like I used to. It donāt feel like adventure anymore; it feels like escaping, like weāre always running from something.Ā
āI donātā¦ā I hesitate, reach up to dig my nails into the dip of my collarbone, try to dig the feeling out, hold it up to the light to examine it. āI guess itās different.ā A veiled confession. Away from the Grizzlies (away from home) itās hot, stiflingly so; I canāt climb onto my horse without breaking a sweat. Itās already too warm by the time the sun rises- clothes sticking to your skin uncomfortably, flies buzzing above, drowning in the smell of swampy nothingness as soon as your eyes open. I donāt hate it- it has become familiar, but familiar in the way the weight of a revolver at my hip has become familiar; the way the constant paranoia that clogs my throat has become familiar.Ā
āDifferent how?āĀ
Another pause, as I scuff the yellow dust ground with the toe of my boot. Different in a whole lotta ways, I want to tell him; even the colour of the sky isnāt quite the same back home.Ā
Home. I think of the snow as I stare at the yellowed leather of my shoes. Where thereās snow and wolves and no people to shoot at you unless you really look for it.Ā
āI donāt know,ā I say, even though my whole body knows; it courses through me, the knowledge that a few days ride away is the mountains, and the snow. āIt just is.ā
The answer dissatisfies him, I think. āCāmon,ā he says in that gruff voice of his. āYou gotta be able to find one difference between here and the goddamn Grizzlies.āĀ
āāS warmer,ā I say, the words followed by a short, slightly forced laugh. āDonāt snow as much.āĀ
He snorts, shaking his head. āAlright,ā he responds, maybe a little condescendingly. āThink oā anything else?āĀ
āYou got less wolves down here,ā I add, after a few moments. I donāt say that I miss the sound of them howling; that when I close my eyes, I try to picture it, try to pretend Iām back there instead of here.Ā
āAlright.ā He says it kinder this time, like weāre getting somewhere.Ā
āThe sky looks different.ā I dig my fingers in deeper. He offers me the cigarette; I take it, repurpose the burning in my throat. The smoke flickers around me as I exhale. āItās- clearer, up there. More blue.ā Here, the sky is tinted almost yellow. It aināt ugly, but it aināt home.Ā
He doesnāt answer, now, staring out at the swamps. I donāt know how he feels about this place- about Rhodes, and the foreignness of Saint Denis, with its factories and smoke and cobbled roads. I wonder if he misses home- if he ever had one to begin with. āI guess I do miss it,ā I say, to fill the silence more than anything. āButā¦ I donāt know, I donāt think I wanna go back.ā Alone is the word I donāt add. I think- maybe- if I had the gang, my new family, Iād go back to the Grizzlies. After we escaped Blackwater, and hid out in that abandoned town up in the mountains; that was the happiest Iād been for a long time.Ā
But alone isnāt something I want to be. Not the way I was alone, the few weeks after my father passed- just me and the freshly dug grave, me and the wolves, me and the gun that killed him, sittinā on the table, an unwanted temptation.Ā
āI donāt wanna be alone again.ā It comes out soft, hoarse, pathetic, the words grating in my throat, like sandpaper on my tongue.Ā
Itās true. Yes, home is in the mountains; I know that now, when my chest clenches at the simple thought of the snow. But home is also with these people- with Arthur, and Mary-Beth, and Pearson, and the rest of them. Hell, even Kieran, the OāDriscoll boy, has become home, in a way. Home is not just the place where I grew up (the place where my daddy now lies); home is also the people that have become my family; who have embraced me so kindly and warmly. I know deep in my stomach that if I were to leave now, take a horse back to the hut, Iād end up like my daddy, a bullet in my head and a gun in my hand.Ā
He did it ācause he was lonely. So lonely that even I wasnāt enough to stop him from pulling the trigger. Lived in the mountains his whole life, but he had my mama then, and his parents. I guess fifty years of snow and not much else can drive you insane.Ā
My hand goes to my temple; I dig my fingers into the skin, right where I found the bullet in his head.Ā
āYāwonāt be,ā he responds gruffly. Heās finished his cigarette, and yet heās not made any attempt to get up, leave me with my thoughts. I snort, wipe my mouth with the back of my hand.Ā
āDonāt know that,ā I say. āWith the Pinkertons on our asses, ānd all.ā Itās meant to be lighthearted, but it comes out quiet, rough.Ā
āYeah, but theyāve always been on our asses.ā He puts a hand on my leg; it engulfs my entire knee. āTell you what.ā He hesitates, clearinā his throat a little. Squeezes my knee. āIāll take you huntinā, once a week- or twice, or less, if you want.āĀ
āI go huntinā anyway,ā I answer. āNot in the mountains, yādonāt.ā My chest both tightens and loosens at the same time. I swallow; my heart is thumping in my chest. I put my hand to my collarbone again, digging my nails in. āCāmon, itāll do you good. Cold air and all that.āĀ
I know thereās a deeper meaning to that. Cold air- heās giving me the chance to go home, and not by myself. Even if itās not for long, itās enough- to feel the snow again, to hear the wolves. Maybe once Iāll camp overnight, ride back to camp in the morning. The idea fills me with hope- a feeling weāre all starved of, these days.Ā
āReally?ā Is all I manage to croak out.Ā
āWhat, you donāt wanna?ā
I laugh, and itās genuine this time. āNo, I- I wanna.ā
āAlright then.ā He gives my knee a last squeeze, then stands. I stand with him, smooth my shirt with the flat of my hand. āTomorrow then?ā Tomorrow. Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow. Iād sing, if my throat werenāt so damn tight. My eyes sting, and I wipe at my nose with my hand.Ā
āThank you,ā I say, quietly. He donāt respond, but he nods, and I think maybe he smiles a little.Ā
Tomorrow. Tomorrow Iāll get to take a piece of my new home to the place I grew up- someone I love, to the place that holds my heart.Ā
I watch him walk away; and suddenly, the humidity donāt feel so bad anymore.Ā
#arthur morgan#red dead redemption 2#rdr2#arthur morgan x reader#red dead redemption x reader#bloodhoundsandplagues writes#very little mention of arthur actually#im sorry#this is just me projecting my vaguely homesick feelings#when home is a place but also a person who's not in that place#yk#argh#i miss my mum#happy new year tumblr#arthur morgan x you#arthur morgan x yn#arthur morgan rdr2#please indulge me#would you be surprised if i said this wasnt proofread
25 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Monday, January 1
You did it.
2024 is here, and so are you. Cheers, kid. Glad you're around for this one.
May your 2024 be filled with the kind of love you deserve, the kind of people who make you feel good, and absolutely zero bed bugs.
4K notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Happy New Year Tumblr!!
158 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
So, 2024 is over.
It's been so eventful. I'm so glad I decided to rejoin tumblr, because its truly such a cool place. I've made so many new friends on here and i wanna start off by saying I'm so grateful for you all. :>
I've laughed a lot this year, and bloody hell I've cried a lot too. It's been very up and down for me but I'm genuinely so happy with things right now. Even if I'm still single, very unfortunately.
I've had SO MANY good times, from sleepovers and hang outs with my friends to going to Isle of Wight Festival and seeing some of the most inspiring figures in my life IN THE FLESH. Seriously, seeing Green Day live changed my life. It was awesome!! Anyway, so many good times. Im so so grateful for everything because no matter what happens, its been pretty good overall.
I want to PUBLICLY thank @just-another-hippie and @decomposing-atm for being the best irl friends I could EVER HAVE HOPED FOR. You guys are so sweet and you're always there for me. I literally love you more than you will ever know, despite the persistent gc flirting. I'm always there for you and i am SO PROUD OF YOU. You're such amazing people. Love you always <33
This year's also come with some pretty shit stuff too. I lost some "friends". My class this year is SO BAD and full of people who hate me and all of my friends. I've had some of the worst mental breakdowns IN HISTORY. But despite all that I'm still going, and I think thats important to remember. You're still going. And that in itself is a HUGE achievement.
Thank you so so much tumblr. You're all amazing and I hope you know that. Love you all to bits!
Happy new year. <3
#New year#Happy new year tumblr#I love you all#And I hope you're all THRIVING#2025 is my year I'm calling it
28 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
correct married NYE timeline:
8pm: dinner
9pm-12am: at the bar
12:30am: home
1am: showered, comfy, picking on leftovers from dinner
8 notes
Ā·
View notes
Video
@oriborealis
204K notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
šāā¬š¤
28K notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Happy New Year 2024 from Korea.
Year of the š²š!
#Seoul#korea#happy 2024#new year#drone show#drone#fireworks#amazing#video#viral#3d#technology#š#nature#space#Star#night#earth#awesome#tumblr#hd#dragon#dragon year#chinese#tradition#art#love#moon#animal
104K notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Happy New Year, From GAZA šØļø āļø
Hello š, My name is Momen Al Madhoun / I am a digital artist / a devoted husband / a father of two children " Ezzdeen & Amir " I live in Gaza City in the heart of the Genocide, working tirelessly to amplify my voice to the world through my artwork. I walk long distances to access electricity and internet, creating under harsh conditions to ensure my voice reaches the Tumblr community through my art. I hope you support me to continue surviving and ensure the safety of my family. Thank you for your time. Stay safe š
Gofundme Campaign Link
#free palatine#gaza#free palestine#artists on tumblr#digital art#artwork#nail art#digital drawing#digital painting#painting#christmas#merry christmas#happy new year#female artists#drawing#drawings#cats of tumblr#free gaza#donations#help gaza#art of tumblr#my art#illustration#digital illustration#save palestine#support palestine#i stand with palestine#cottagecore#sketch#my artwork
18K notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
HAPPY NEW YEAR TUMBLR!! lets hope 2025 is my year š¤
0 notes
Text
[> worm offers you hope for the new year.]
[> do you accept?]
14K notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
turtleneck alpaca
#alpaca#artists on tumblr#digital art#digital illustration#illustration#my art#art#drawing#artwork#cute#kawaii#animals#animal art#illust#soft art#nature#cute art#happy new year
10K notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Decay exists as an extant form of life
#artists on tumblr#my art#gavle goat#gavlebocken#yule#yule goat#happy yule#merry yule#christmas#hi yes Iām alive#so much work but oh well#wishing you happy holidays :D#new year#2024#2023#happy new year#happy holidays#Gavleboken 2023#christmas goat#burn the goat
39K notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
I think they'd just keep ordering batty meals until they all get one of the red robin toys
my piece for @timdrakeflipzine
#tim drake#young justice#kon el#dc comics#artists on tumblr#dc robin#superboy#cassie sandsmark#bart allen#stephanie brown#super late to posting this š³#better late than never#happy new year
8K notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Happy New Year!!
Starting off 2024 with a dragon and some bunnies.
#happy new year#digital art#art#artists on tumblr#illustration#jramseyi#rabbit#animal art#music#original art#drawing#year of the dragon#dragon
35K notes
Ā·
View notes