#happy new year folks. fuck those trains into 2024

[dropitdoeeyes]

[ID: A 3x4 grid of squares, each labeled with a month of the year in chronological order displaying Mechanisms art done by the OP over the course of 2023. January is blank, with just a frowny face. Febuary is a closeup of Jonny D’ville. March is a sketch of Ashes O’reilly. April is a closeup of Raphaella la Cognizi, grinning widely. May is a meme drawing of Lyfrassir Edda getting a mugshot taken. June is a drawing of Jonny, in a dress, grinning wildly. July is a drawing of Lyfrassir and Ivy in a library. August is a drawing of Raphaella and Marius dancing together. September is a drawing of Raphaella leaning over Marius, grinning. October is a painting of Nastya in the style of Disco Elysium. November is a drawing of Drumbot Brian playing the drums. December is a drawing of Brian and Nastya taking a nap. End ID.]

thanks for all the support this year! enjoy my low quality mechanisms

[sam-loves-seb]

new year's ask game for fic writers:

thanks for the tags @mybrainismelted and @rayrayor !

1) What fic did you have the most fun writing this year and why? Or, if you can’t decide, what was most fun about writing this year for you?

i had the most fun writing what we stay alive for this past year, it was really a passion project of mine that turned into this wonderful labor of love

2) What’s a scene/story that you finished and felt “wow, I really accomplished that, that actually went so well”?

probably loving you with no conditions, i've always really wanted to write a fic with that premise but i put it off for a long time because i was worried i wouldn't do it justice. but in the end, i think people really liked it, and it's one of the fics i'm most proud of tbh

3) What helped provide the most inspiration for stories, if anything? Was it poetry? A song on repeat? A gorgeous gifset? A walk outside? A book you read that made you want to change everything? Whatever it was! Tell all.

unfortunately the thing that inspires me most continues to be running/exercise. i cannot even begin to tell you how many plot bunnies/outlines i wrote in my head during runs last summer when i was training for a race. idk what it is, but when i'm locked in with my headphones on, my mind starts to wander and it gives me some really good ideas (and some wild ones, but those are fun too from a creative standpoint)

4) What is something you want to share about what you’ve written this year? A particular line, a comment that made you feel really good, a scene that was difficult to write — you get to choose! What do you wish someone would ask you about when it comes to what you’ve written?

god, i don't know. i've gotten a lot of really wonderful comments this year, too many to pick just one.

a scene that was difficult to write would probably be all of chapter four of orange juice, that fic overall is hard to write (but i still want to finish it someday)

but i write more fluff than anything so i also wanted to add a scene that was really fun to write, and that was writing mickey high as fuck in i need you (like cake on my birthday)

and to start off 2024…

1) Do you have any writing/creation goals for the year? What are they?

my goal for the year is to write two (2) complete multi-chapter fics. i mostly exist in the oneshot world in the shameless fandom, but i miss plotting big long fics and i really want to try and stick with at least two this year.

2) Is there a fic or idea that you’re really excited to be able to continue to work on in the new year (shout out to my fellow fic writing folks who take forever to finish wips, sometimes it’s nice to be able to continue working on something even if you wish you’d gotten it done! Now you get even MORE time with it!)

i think rock star mickey au is the idea that i most want to see come to life in 2024. i've been plotting it in my head since like july and one day i want to be confident enough to actually write the vision that plays on a loop in my subconscious.

3) What’s something new in your writing you want to try/are going to try? A different writing style? Different fandom? Darker works? Fluffier? Longer or shorter?

god, i mean, i guess i want to try writing more smut? i don't write a lot of it rarely any ever but i want to put a little bit in my big bang fic, and maybe some in some other fic ideas i have too. so yeah. maybe i'll try more of that in 2024 idk don't quote me on it.

4) What’s something you love about your own writing that you will continue to appreciate in the new year?

honestly i really like the way i write dialogue. it sounds very natural to me, idk if anyone else agrees, but when i re-read some of my fics i'm just like yeah exactly he would say that

(and maybe it's bad or wildly out of character but idk. i like it.)

tagging anyone who wants to play <3 happy 2024 my friends!

[collymore]

Why tell the truth, when lies are far more interesting and convincing?

By Stanley Collymore

Nearly five months on and quite evidently still distinctively in solid silence, bless her patriotic heart, and actually counting; the dutiful mother, simply ever loving wife and patriotic citizen, Kate is unquestionably at home rather ardently, obviously recovering from her quite non-existent cancer, and as she well knows, distinctly like Charles and William do too, there's nowt better to boost your deservingly flagging popularity than a concerted act of simply, cynically induced sympathy; and therefore with cancer being as obviously ubiquitous; but, all the same, not as specific nor iniquitious as let's say gonorrhoea, herpes or VD, it's a safe bet to play the cancer game while very assuredly being guaranteed the rather accumulative sympathy of the surfeit of unquestionably brainwashed, thoroughly gullible and also the intellectually challenged ensemble of sycophantic serfs, moronic subjects and conditioned plebeians while, at the same time, actually reaching out hopefully and successfully to those Brits that clearly still delude themselves that Britain is patently somehow extra special with its evidently, in their pathetic assumption, outstanding traditions, and consequently therefore they must simply align themselves and accord Charles, Kate and William the undeniable benefit of the doubt, ostensibly for Britain; and, as such, clambour aboard as well this specific disingenuous and totally outright lying Windsor monarchical train!

Why then is the media trying to stir things - ask a daft question eh - up with this daft William appointment? As if intelligent folk don't already know! But it's succour for the fawning serfs, white racist Karens and as well likeminded Gammons; all 59 of them that responded to the Daily Mail article, in a UK population of 66.97 million as per the 2022 census, are kept happy and can openly vent their own racism.

Anyway, last week the MSM made it sound as if it was fresh news, this investiture of William, when in point of fact it had been announced a year previously. And having done that the said media are now simply obsessed with speculating that evidently Harry would have been given the job had he stayed in the monarchical family. The categorical answer to that is "No"! As it is pure bullshit. As this position which really was previously held by Charles in his own position as Prince of Wales was handed over to William as Charles' successor in that position when Charles became king.

A state of affairs that was quite inevitable requisite to the next Prince of Wales which clearly is now William. Yet quite obviously, here are all your literally purblind cunts in your element of clearly Harry and Meghan bashing. No surprise then that Charles like Kate who no more has cancer than I or you obviously have the bubonic plague, are in obvious collaboration with the MSM, really pulling the wool over your rather distinctly, fucking daft eyes. Rather obviously not all that difficult; as the lot of you, are as thick as pig shit!

(C) Stanley V. Collymore 13 May 2024.

Author's Remarks: I always speak only for myself and stand by the decisions I've made, because I do always engage in serious research before I write anything, backed up by longstanding and well trusted sources.

And it's no doubt whatever in my mind that neither Charles nor Kate have ever had any form of cancer. It's a bloody lie on both of their parts and a sympathy grabber since Charles has clearly proved to be what even his own mother regarded him as. A clearly narcissistic cunt who basically listens only to the vile and odious flattery of the Queer sycophants he surrounds himself with.

And as one longstanding German friend of mine from when I moved there in 1980 to rid myself of the dumbing down of the so-called education I saw coming in 1980 and didn't want to be any part of it; a decision which I've never regretted - if Charles, she said, has cancer, despite being already and clearly an unwarranted billionaire actually through no effort on his part, merely vilely acquired hereditary and inherited wealth, what Charles should now do is patent the formula that has caused this outstanding physical transformation in him, as nobody with real cancer and of his age bounces back with such incredible vigour. Further stating, she said, it's all a bloody lie but your Brits, obviously unlike your sort she went on, are so gullible, thoroughly class indoctrinated and pathetic that it's easy to see why they'll believe this shit from their feudal overlords, and specifically a dimwit like Charles.

Her comments on Kate were even greatly more excruciating. For how she asked can Charles ostensibly with Cancer also be so fit and mobile and this stupid bitch half his age needs 5 months and counting to really recover? It's marital with her I riposted. I know that, and any idiot can see from the antics of William that this isn't a many that is worried about a supposed, really cancer stricken wife, but someone who wants out of a dead marriage but doesn't want to in effect create a Diana situation as Charles did.

My thoughts entirely, but I didn't actually have to prompt my German friend or anyone else I've discussed this matter with; for intelligent people, even Brit ones, just really don't give a fuck. And why should they with a paedophile Jimmy Savile and Bishop Peter Ball very longstanding buddy, a serial adulterous asshole and a distinctly a pathological liar be trusted; because he allegedly came, out as firstborn, from the so-called appropriate monarchical fanny? We're in the 21st Century not the kiss-me-ass feudal Middle Ages! And some of us are mentally liberated and don't fancy ever being serfs, subjects or fawning plebeians.

[trainingbrahs-blog]

Still no Tide Pods ™

Vik - This blog is the Pink Pearl Dim Sum Restaurant of blogs; a phoenix continuously arising from the ashes of blog obscurity. Let’s quickly recap all the relevant blog nonsense that I roll out each time we post, as if something may have changed and I’m not exactly the same ratchet ass ho that I’ve always been.

1) I still smoke. I’m quitting tomorrow. I don’t even feel bad anymore.

2) Wife-life-post-break-up-after-party has slowed down since Darcie is “happy” and in a “relationship.” Jokes, Kabir-Darcie is my fave 2019 combo. Karcie? Dabir? Still working on that one.

3) I haven’t competed since Worlds, and am totes cool with it. I’m mad chill rn.

4) Am going to be a purple belt forever, which is also very relaxing. Purple belt middle weight NAGA 2024 is gonna be my time to shine. I’m truly settling into mediocrity.

5) Tide pods still haven’t reached out to sponsor this blog. I’m shocked. And hurt. Our influencer status is shaky at best..

Darcie and I started working together this year and opened a home for precariously housed high risk teens. We are deep in co-lease, three joint bank account, coparent life. To be clear, this is on top of my FULL TIME JOB. And you know, because we are maniacs we also decided to start a non profit. It seemed like a natural progression, and since our feminism is constantly referred to as rabid (I see you puffy chested male identified boo boos) we wanted to find a way to assert our values (aka rabid feminism) by financially subsidizing female competitors, paying experienced women equitable fees to teach seminars and generally creating space through women only open mats to beat each other up on the reg. There’s probably a link to the non profit in this blog, so be a good person and buy a sweater or donate your hard earned dollars to support the local women in your jiu jitsu community. Also shout out to Kaboom and BCJJF for supporting this work and the female jiu jitsu community, you guys are all just the sweetest allies.

#influencer.

Since I’m not competing this year, I’ve been really enjoying getting my jiu jitsu groove back and am becoming low key obsessed with lifting heavy things. This bisch is not only chubby but also jacked now. Honestly, still mainly chubby, but a little bit jacked too. Also I think I’m going to start smoking weed. It may not go well, I ruined my brain with acid in the 90’s, and this is a potentially catastrophic experiment. More on that next time, you’ll know if it becomes a thing when I abruptly start training at 10th Planet.

I don’t have a good anchoring, concluding paragraph, so instead, I’ll just see you all at women’s open mat, and on the sidelines of every local comp cheering for all my pals.

Xo

Vik

Darc- Live from traction: It’s a recap of the last 3 months of my life!

You guys, Year of the Matriarchy 2019 started off hot. We made homes for kids, started supporting she-athletes and I competed a bunch! Here are some things that we were too busy with in real life for me to regale you with earlier:

1. I moved house twice! YES TWO TIMES. You guys, I am so good at moving. If you need any tips on Frogbox or where to get the best budget furniture, I’m your lady. The answer is Wayfair.ca btw. Anyway, I’m done moving for a while because it’s the pits even when you’re a pro and this new place seems pretty good. Also I promised my cat we’d stay a while.

2. The Portland Open is a thing now and I competed there. I learned an important lesson about always calling ahead to make sure your hotel room has a bathtub (Expedia is a house of lies) and did my first ever side smash so I could feel like a real Lovato/Kaboom student. Yes, it took me 7 months to figure out. I’m not a natural smasher. Also, I was savagely triangled in the finals. (Hi, Naomi!) So I also learned that. Don’t get triangled.

3. I competed at the Rev again in Tacoma. Everyone should compete at the Rev. It is consistently the most well run tournament I have ever been to. And I’m not just saying that ‘cause I (HUMBLEBRAG) won. I also learned that making weight after Christmas is hard and had to make some risky underwear choices to save .2 of a lb. But don’t worry, I’ve since invested in some ultra light back up pants for these situations to save you all from accidentally seeing my ass in the future. #competitor

4. I won silver at Pans! I’ve never really done well in major competitions. The last time I was at Pans was 2016 and I got subbed so quickly that Vicky missed my fight trying to get from downstairs to upstairs to watch it and I cried like a kid on Chad’s shoulder. I didn’t win a single match in a big competition until last year’s World Masters, then I got subbed in round 2. So this was a big win for me. Kabir overheard a girl on the mat next to mine finish her first fight and say to her coach “Woah. Nobody sucks here,” which is hilarious and true. Nobody sucks at Pans and Worlds, guys. Those fights are fucking hard.

5. I somehow managed to hurt myself real bad trying to do an armbar in the quarter finals then fought two more times because I’m an idiot. By the finals, I couldn’t lift my left arm or stop my head from turning all the way to the right and I got triangled in ten seconds. You guys! DON’T. GET. TRIANGLED! Then I had public jiu jitsu cry #2 because adrenaline masked how hurt I was and I was just disappointed about losing. Anyway, that was the last time I did jiu jitsu and I’m still living a life of pain. The medical folks say the left side of my thoracic spine got crunched up in some sort of shitty armbar perfect storm and a bunch of ribs popped off my back and now I live in a world of pain. I had a CT scan yesterday and my spine and nerve roots are healthy, so now I’ve just gotta wait my full recovery out. Also, I’m 2 for 2 on Pan American cries. What’s up with that? Also armbars are supposed to hurt the other person. Come on, Omori.

So anyway, catch me also on the sidelines til this shit resolves. Look for the girl in the Cascadia Women’s Fight Club sweater, right next to the really loud shroud of red hair.

Don't get triangled,

Darc