#happy hour podcast

[penelopepitstopp]

And today in my diabetes seminar for the unitiated lol: Ed talking about how hypos can affect him + a funny anecdote.

(It’s interesting listening to the radio x podcast too, cause there's times when Matthew and Vin just assume Ed’s being his "normal weird" but I can tell by the way he's talking it's probably "hypo weird"... like some kind of sixth sense t1 diabetics have for one another or something haha. One time Ed was having a bad hypo (and actually told them) as Matthew was giving him a fucking Steely Dan quiz of all things 😂😂)

Full Vid

[mikonez]

no one look at me I had a difficult day alright

[chonideno]

literally where can the zelda franchise go after totk. this is it. we've reached it. the pinnacle of video game entertainment. the whole dev team should just pack their stuff and enjoy a long and comfortable retirement. whoever decides their team has to follow-up on that with the next zelda game should answer for their crimes at the hague. what the fuck. I haven't even beat the game yet but what the fuck.

and how are AAA video game devs everywhere not losing their minds. how the hell did nintendo do any of that? and on that console?? you mean to tell me I can stack 15 differently shaped objects on top of each other and they don't vibrate violently into the skybox?? you mean to tell me the physics engine gladly accepts whatever I throw at it and holds it all together without dropping a frame while running on a machine that was outclassed two generations ago??? this is not witchcraft it's a grandiose demonstration of mastery over every aspect of game development that casts an immense shadow over every other AAA studio. fuck. fuck!!!!

everything about this game is crazy to me. the visuals are crazy. the soudtrack is crazy. the complexity of all systems and how they interact is crazy. the sheer amount of non-repeating content, NPCs, quests, dialogue, puzzles, environment variety - all crazy to me. every time I boot up this game I am humbled by the monumental effort and obvious love that went into every facet of the resulting experience. no cut corners anywhere. mirror-perfect chrome polish.

it's so rare we get something like that, in any field. I'd understand if nintendo never made a zelda game ever again because how do you follow that. god I hope everyone who worked on this game got the fattest check and the sloppiest head. I'm so happy I get to live in shigeru miyamoto's world

[pairingbrainrot]

!!!!!

(Clip starts at 3:10)

[izel-scribbles]

malevolent sketches ⬇️

save me leyendecker,,,

i think i've settled on a john design. fr this time

[justbearsart]

Can’t wait to see what crazy shenanigans these characters get into next ‼️🏆

[ollylotl]

I LOVE VYNCENT SOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[leavemetoexist]

Can I just say how much I'm enjoying the new pacing of season 4 like everything is going a little faster, points aren't reiterated to the point of overdoing it and it's really overall quite nice. Also the music, I noticed it in season 3 as well and I adore all the new musical scores!! I especially love the butcher's episode (i miss his insane ass sm) the switch in perspective being the first time we've ever seen Arthur outside of his and John's perspective is just *chefs kiss*

[bookofmac]

okay okay okay, thinking thoughts

So I find the concept of Names really interesting in Camlann, reading into the extracanonical stuff put on the tumblr is giving me food for theory crafting. The Catacylsm seems to be some kind of return of magic to the world (possibly heralded by the return of The King of the Britons in their hour of need?) and thus people with significant Names have access to something because of it. they fall into the stories of their namesakes; Perry, Gwaine, and Kay are Knights, Morgan is Morgana Le Fay, and we now have a Gwen in Shújūn.

Based on Kay's dicussion with Perry if more people can fill in the roles of their stories to more 'to plan' the stories will go, Of course this is not good news if you know the general end point of Arthurian legend (Betrayal, muderer, war, most everyone dead, the 'Glory' of camelot gone). It's inherently kind of a doomsday cult if you stay in those stories, you know where parts of this are going (i'll get back to this)

it also seems like there may be some, for lack of a better term, kin drama going on. There are 900 members of the court and Kay mentions that Peredur is a really uncommon name outside of Wales, meaning there are certain knights who are more common, i assume Lancelot's, Kay's, maybe a few Talisin's, a bunch of Gareth's, and like 50 Elaines like in the legends lol

We also dont have the context for how Names work full yet and neither do our characters. I think theres a lot of answers to be had with Shújūn/Gwen with how it works, how you know other than the buzzing in you're head and desire go through the motions and Follow the Story

Now, where does Dai fit in all this?

Dai doesn't have a Name, and I think theres going to be a point where he changes his name in a major way, but not to a Name, but a Bardic name. In welsh poetic and story telling tradtions Welsh poets, THE OG Bards, will take on pseudonyms tell their stories. This practice stems from the medievil era, but goes forth to today, and many modern Welsh and welsh heritage poets have connections to this tradition (Dylan Thomas' middle name was his great uncles bardic name, Sarah Williams published her work under the name Sadie), I believe it's also a requirement to have one if you intend to perform in the major Eisteddfod, (I am Australian so my experiance of Eisteddfods here is very different so if i'm wrong on that let me know)

Why would he do this? I think Dai is going to, at least try, to write him and his friends a way out.

Much ink is spilt over how Arthurian legend doesnt have an 'orginal text', and as such there are lots of stories that are inherently contradictory; Bedwyr is the best knight, but so are Gwaine, Lancelot, and Galahad. Mordred is some random king until his Arthur's son. Arthur has a sister, no he has two, actually he has three and one of them is an Elaine. This could be used to explain any doubles (are you my Gwaine), as well as why we see a few different spelling varients which are, the very welsh Peredur as opposed to Percival or Parzifal, the anglisised and more boarish Kay as opposed to Cei or Caius (this last one might just to keep Dai and Kay distinct tho). These variations are no more or less 'canon' than any other telling of the story, and so often the writer of a given telling of Arthurian legend is going to have their own bias. But things dont HAVE to end the way they always do, and sometime you need to have someone outside the story you're caught in to tell you a new one.

You are not locked into that ever looming cloud of Thomas Mallory and Le Morte d'Arthur.

Other evidence I have for this is that Dai sings at the begining of each episode, and sings in welsh at that. He also is, to a point our narrator, existing both in and out of the current narative. Also his name is an a lyric of Sosban Fach (a song i would be surprised if it wasn't in the show at some point) 'Dai bach y sowldiwr' which is also not from the text the song was based on. Tangential yes, but i think it's worth thinking about.

I think there is also something to be said about choice in what your name is and how it feeds into the overall theme of identiy, and how that plays into other themes at play in the story, like Transness, Imperialism, and Predestination

TL:DR; While he doesnt have a Name, Dai's gonna give himself an epic bard name and save them all by writing a killer hook to get them out of the story

[bamfwizard]

ugh slamming head against walls etc etc I need to draw MoulinRouge!Jupeter or my head will explode. I need Christian!Juno and Satine!Peter to exist right now and with the will of the gods it will be done

[absolutebl]

BL & Critical Analysis

Pop culture critique & a how to do it... or something

This meaty question came from the lovely @huachengeye Thank you!

Codicil: I do not get paid for pop culture critique (although I once wrote book reviews professionally, long story). So I’m entirely a dilettante. 

The Question!

Q1: Can you can shed some light on your process (of critical analysis)

This is a little like training your eye to edit a document (I bet you can tell that's not one my strong points). Or training your mind to look at data and data collection in terms of the results it may yield and what the initial survey says about the questioner's bias (or can bias results).

First, I have to ask... 

Do you really want to train your eye to critique?

Because it will become a lot harder to immerse yourself in a piece of media if you constantly feel obligated to step back mentally and think about it from various perspectives. 

In other words, you may enjoy BL, or all live action dramas, LESS if you try to think about them critically.

I have an intimate who is a pretty well known writer. She mostly writes humorous fiction. She's open about the fact that this means every time she laughs, she stops and thinks about why that happened and whether is could be used in her prose. She never gets to be fully absorbed by narrative ever anymore because her critical eye is always turned on, especially for the written word.

What you may sacrifice for critique, is a certain level of childish wonder. 

I’m not sure i would necessarily advise doing this. 

My Process 

My process is essentially now visible in this blog. As I watch a show I take a few notes on it (which show up in the weeklies) and then at the end I go through those notes, consolidate, try to be witty about it, and write up a review.

The review usually has something about:

characters, tropes, plot 

narrative & story structure & pace

how this BL fits in with the greater BL genre & history

any thoughts I have on the quality of the production, acting, and/or directing 

my own personal feelings about the show

Thus my reviews tend to take into account several criteria.

For #1-2 I have a background in lit crit as an undergrad (and, like I said, I did once review books for a living) so these are kinda ingrained in me. I’m working on seeing the influence of soap operas, fan fic, and non-western story structures as critically valid, so these are the things I’m actively learning more about the most these days. 

For #3: How does this fit into the history of BL? Since I’ve made it point to watch pretty much all BLs, I feel like I’m set up to think and talk about this. AKA the spreadsheet made me do it. But since I also have anthropology in my academic history, I’m very interested in how a BL represents for its country’s BL oeuvre. I try to judge KBLs against other KBLs (and Kdramas) and look for patterns and trends in how that country’s interpretation of what it “means to be BL” shift over time. 

For #4: my IRL job is tangential to the entertainment industry so that’s accidentally trained my eye for film. I don’t know that I like this part about myself, but it’s happened whether I like it or not. And I don’t have a proper background in film critique. 

Final #5: will discuss further in a bit.

Suggestion? Establish A Rating System 

Come up with your own personal 10 star (or 5 star) rating system.

Write it down. Don’t be afraid to modify or adjust it. It’s yours, your tastes change, nothing is set in stone. 

Pick one ideal example BL for each category that you’re very familiar with for your reference point. Then you can ask yourself, after you’ve watched a new one, whether you liked it more, less, or about the same as that show. (relative rating, similar to grading on a curve) 

I change my examples regularly as my taste changes and as new BLs are added. The bar gets shifted, so to speak. 

My Rating System 

Your reasoning for rating a BL will be different from mine, but here’s mine as an example. 

(Also I never feel bound by this, sometimes I give a show a 8/10 just because it feels like that’s what it deserves.) 

10/10 - HIGHLY RECOMMENDED - my favorite precious squee!, faithful to tropes, happy ending, good chemistry, few flaws, high rewatch potential, makes me happy, examples: Semantic Error, Until We Meet Again 

9/10 ABSOLUTELY RECOMMENDED - loved it and good rewatch potential but probably a few pacing issues or one big flaw, still made me feel good/comforted, examples: Cherry Magic, Bad Buddy

8/10 - RECOMMENDED - some concerns around tropes (like dub con) or story structure/filming but still satisfies as BL, moved me emotionally, rewatchable in parts or not rewatchable but important, examples: Love By Chance, Between Us

7/10 - RECOMMENDED WITH RESERVATIONS - i.e. isn’t quite BL, convoluted, not strictly HEA, too short/long, and/or chemistry issues, may have impact on other BL fans but not me (or on me but not others) examples: Make it Right, KinnPorsche

6/10 - WORTH WATCHING BUT FLAWED - probably around the ending or in narrative structure/cohesion or censorship, disappointed expectations, unlikely to rewatch, examples: My Gear and Your Gown, Love Mechanics

5/10 - WATCH IF YOU HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO - but don’t expect much, it’s a total hot mess interesting only because it's BL and I'm probubly pretty conflicted about it, examples: Advance Bravely, Even Sun

4/10 - FATALLY FLAWED - but still basically BL, however... do we want to support this kind of behaviour? examples: Precise Shot, Work from Heart

3/10 - I DON'T KNOW WHAT I AM WATCHING AND NEITHER DOES IT, just seriously why did this get made? examples: Blue of Winter, Physical Therapy 

2/10 - IT'S DEPRESSING - they killed/tortured/etc the gay, save yourself, examples: The Effect, HIStory 3: Make Our Days Count

1/10 - IT'S AWFUL, I WATCHED IT SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO, has all the flaws of 4-3 plus something even more egregious, personally triggering, example: My Bromance series, Round Trip to Love

dnf - self explanatory, but usually I drop because I feel like the narrative is already a #3 and/or headed for a #2 or #1 and then I’m told later that is went there, example: My Tempo

I hand out the fewest 1s & 10s. The most 8s and 7s. Everything else is pretty much on the bell curve you’d expect. 

Q2: What resources do you use to build your reviews?

I listen to a lot of pop culture review critiques in podcast form, often about stuff I'd never watch. But I like the way professionals talk about these things, even if they aren't MY things or don't jive with my personal opinions.

Mark Kermode is my favorite film critic and we like the opposite stuff, but the way he talks about film is very interesting to me. His podcast mini series on the "business of film" is probably one of my must listens. For his main podcast (Kermode & May’s Take), I always skip over all the interviews, people talking about their own films bore me to death (especially if they are actors on the promo junket, save me please). His rants are some of my favorites of all time (try Pirates 3 or Iron Man 2). Someone else’s list. 

I also like Pop Culture Happy Hour from NPR because it brings in multiple perspectives and varied cast of critics who often disagree and the "things making me happy" is a grab bag of fun.

The Bechdel Cast is a feminist critique podcast from Hollywood insiders and they do recaps as well as critique, and it's always fascinating to me to hear what people latch onto in a narrative. However, I only listen if I am already familiar with the film they are discussing.

My background is in anthropology and I've lived all over the world so that helps train me to think in terms on culture's impact on narrative as well as linguistics and so forth. As a personality I’m also quite reserved and deadpan, grumpy, stiff, strict, and kinda cold. I think I gravitate to being an observer and an outsider which helps if you want to analysis stuff. Which is not a claim to objectivity, I don't think there can be objective analysis of pop culture.

But it does make me pause to think, "that made me FEEEL something" why? What am I feeling? How did the actor do that? The script? The direction?

These shows are meant to entertain, whether they are successful or not, for me (and what "successful entertainment" means to me) and how they are doing it is the first question I always ask myself.

Q3: What are the things you look out for when watching a BL?

I ask myself a lot of things I would when looking at any piece of art. Or even when shopping for clothing or a new car or reading a book.

Did I like it? Why did I like it?

Did it move me? Why did it move me? 

Did I react? How did I react? To which bits? Why? 

What tropes and narrative beats was it using to manipulate me and my expectations? Did it meet those expectations? The promises it set up at the start? Did it fulfill the watcher-contract during the course of the narrative? 

Did the filming successfully telegraphy the journey I was meant to take? Did the actors? 

But also... would I rewatch it? Am I tempted to do so the moment it ends? For which bits?

The statistician in me wants to point out that these questions say a lot more about me and my relationship to art than it does about the art itself.

For example

Did I like it? Means... I'm motivated by pure taste and personal preference and complete subjectivity. This is in part formed by a person's background, life state, whole experience with culture and pop culture and society, family, friends. Taste is also just "that" bit. You know, that bit? Likes lemon deserts over chocolate ones, gravities to spicy food, favorite color is green, decorates with potted plants. Just my taste is my taste. I like what I like. 

Yes I have some criteria that subconsciously come into play: I look for clever story structure, subversion or manipulation of tropes, parody, not hitting any of my dislikes (like dub con). But also I have other biases impacting whether I like it (like physical appearance) which I can try to check but usually can't fix. (For example GMMTV's Gawin/Fluke looks so much like an ex of mine I really struggle with his screen presence.)

Did I like it?

The fact that this is the first question I ask myself also should tell you I'm motivated by the emotion these narratives engender. I want them to transport me and move me. I my case I want to feel comforted and satisfied and happy. The ones the make me feel discomfort, especially for too long in the narrative, I am simply going to like less. Sometimes less than I feel like I should (see my struggles with masterworks like ITSAY, YNEH, or The 8th Sense). The very BLs that most professional critics would tout as the best examples of the genre for a wider audience often turn out to be the ones I struggle with the most. (They are also, fortunately for me, the least representative of the bulk of the genre.)

In other words there is ALSO a part of me that genuinely likes and enjoys the trashy stuff. Even the trash I trash watch.

So I would advise you to come up with your own questions. Ask yourself what you want from these shows when you watch them. 

What motivates you? 

Why are you watching them at all? 

What brings you joy from an art or entertainment experience? 

What do you want them to do for you? To you?

You are going to experience them (and therefore analyze them) from this perspective whether you like it or not. So understand yourself is paramount. It's about your relationship to the art, not the art itself.

If I were to give you an assignment I would say start with one BL you really enjoyed, perhaps not your favorite but one level down. And then do one you really did not enjoy. And think about why... 

Happy analyzing! 

(source)

[bookgeekgrrl]

My media this week (23-29 Jun 2024)

what a fucking week, lads (gn)

📚 STUFF I READ 📚

🥰 "How to Raise a Kraken in Your Bathtub" (P. Djèlí Clark) - 2024 Locus Award winning short story - 'fuck around and find out' with 19thC colonialism!

🥰 there's a trick with a knife (i'm learning to do) (mellyflori) - 65K, Kaysanova modern AU - really good enemies-to-lovers that digs in to why they clash at first and the very organic way that turns around. tbh this could easily be original fic [positive] as except for J/N it's all OCs, and J/N's characterizations are not OOC but are also perfectly standalone

🥰 Outgrow the shoes of expectations (destinationtoast) - 62K, solid canon-divergent Keeley/Roy/Jamie fic [structured more as K/R opening the relationship up to J but ends in such a way that a true polycule is not unreasonable]

💖💖 +222K of shorter fic so shout out to these I really loved 💖💖

Aspirations (neapeaikea) - 9-1-1: Buck/Tommy, 11K - very cute, fun teacher AU

Three Weddings and a Funeral (materialism, sparklyslug) - Stranger Things: Steddie, 35K - 2nd entry in the lovely Let us Dwell in Fair Ithilien and There Make a Garden series - four vingettes of Steve and Eddie before and after their second chance

📺 STUFF I WATCHED 📺

Thousandaires - s1, e3

Game Changer - s4, e9-10

Make Some Noise - s3, e1

Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

Doctor Who - s1 (series 14), e8

D20: Never Stop Blowing Up - "Be Kind, Rewind" (s22, e1)

D20: Adventuring Party - "Yoshi Thicc" (s17, e1)

🎧 PODCASTS 🎧

⭐99% Invisible - The Power Broker #06: Mike Schur

Consider This - Fifteen years after his death, Michael Jackson's legacy remains complicated

⭐ What Next: TBD - Is Your Phone Tracking Your Driving?

Re: Dracula - June 24: Dreadful Thing of Night

Re: Dracula - June 25: Dead or Asleep

Pop Culture Happy Hour - Will they or won't they? Unpacking TV's eternal question

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - In The Heart Of NYC, A Refuge For Birds

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Grizzly Adams: America’s Mythic Mountain Man

WikiHole - Girl Dinner (with Greta Titelman, Sam Taggart and Zach Noe Towers

Dinner’s on Me - Margaret Cho

99% Invisible - Backfired: The Vaping Wars

It's Been a Minute - Can't stop the (classical) music

⭐ Vibe Check - She Ain't No Diva

Dinner’s on Me - Joel Kim Booster

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Roop Kund

Ologies - Puffinology (PUFFINS) with Jill Taylor

Wild Card - Lena Waithe's religion is 'The Wizard of Oz'

Wild Card - Lena Waithe's relationship goals + Taylor Tomlinson's childhood idol (Wild Card+)

⭐ Throughline - Pop Music's First Black Stars

Short Wave - Move Over Norse Mythology, There's A New Loki In Town — A Dinosaur

It's Been a Minute - Girl, that remix, so healing; plus, gay vampires

What Next: TBD - Why Extreme Weather Keeps Surprising You

Dear Prudence - My In-Laws Disrespected My Daughter, So I Kicked Them Out. Help!

Endless Thread - This is Not a Pyramid Scheme

⭐ Strong Songs - "Born to Run" by Bruce Springsteen

If Books Could Kill - Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus

Re: Dracula - June 29: Tonight is Mine

Hit Parade - The Bridge: Center of the “World”

🎶 MUSIC 🎶

The Beach Boys Radio • Chill

Shout-Out Party Hits

Chicago Radio • Upbeat

Charli XCX

Fleetwood Mac

[barmans-fault]

Ok just a (delusional, crazy, weird, etc, whatever) thought. It's been bothering me for such a long time i need to share it. Listen.

I can't help but think AM covered 'Red Right Hand' due to Alex's insane crush on Josh Homme. AM made that song sound edgy. Intense. Horny, I would even say. Why is that? Why is Alex so thirsty for that fictional guy? Maybe because he is not so fictional after all.

A tall handsome man who is a god, a ghost and a guru (and that's exactly what Josh was for the boys, wasn't he?), who'll wrap you in his arms and tell you that you've been a good boy (and you really were such a good boy for him weren't you Aly?). He'll rekindle all of the dreams it took you a lifetime to destroy? (Dreams of an idol, a mentor, a rolemodel figure you can adore and look up to? Or something of a more obscene nature?) He'll reach deep into the hole (yeah bet he will reach very deep indeed just as you want him to) , heal your shrinking soul (cos he's someone who gets you and is incredibly smart and a pleasure to talk to and be with and learn from?) and there won't be a single thing that you can do?

Why does this tall and handsome man have so much power over you Aly? Why do you succumb to him so easily?

You'll see him in your nightmares and in your dreams? (Because of you lusting after him so much right Aly?). He'll appear our of nowhere but he's not what he seems (and doesn't Josh just have that menace about him?). You'll see him in your head (cos you're obsessed with him) and on the TV screen (cos he's a fucking frontman of one of the most brilliant bands of our time) hey buddy I'm warning you to turn it off (cos they'll get as obsessed with him as you are, poor Aly lad?). You're a microscopic cog in his catastrophic plan designed and directed by his red right hand (cos he produced this album, helped you find your new sound, had such a profound influence on you, his vision helped you define your future sound, his creative input was immense and the impact of his approach to the album was only matched by that of your most trusted friend James Ford? You owe him the sound of Humbug. In a broader sense, he really directed it and showed you the way to go, and you followed along and look how far you've come.)

The video and the sound of the song itself just have these insane QOTSA vibes, don't they? Yeah, they totally do.

[moszeel]

Sad wet fish boy. Use him as a mop if you’d like

[char-lie-spirals]

So, since @gristlebloom-orchid asked, I DO have a Flesh!Graham AU and I finally sat down to put my thoughts about it into something comprehensive, and then into words! So, I figured I might as well make a post about it! Actually this is my 2nd attempt at making it because apparently version 1 was like 2 times too long for a Tumblr post or something?? Messed up :/

Warning for Flesh-typical content, mostly of the dysmorphic kind, along with some Drastic measures to "fix" that

So, the entire AU starts with one simple change - the NotThem doesn't manage to kill Graham when it attacks him. He survives by pure chance, and doesn't come out of the encounter unscathed, but no matter how much blood it spilled, at least he made it out alive!

Except, the whole thing really messes with the way he sees himself. He can barely recognize his own reflection, so many little things about it seem wrong, things he doesn't even know words/names for, but they're all just wrong wrong wrong that's not him!!

The NotThem gets a good meal out of him just... feeling like a Stranger in his own skin, so instead of finishing the job, it hangs around, sometimes pretend-attacks him just so that he locks himself in the bathroom and has nothing to do but stare in the mirror, and it's enjoying this "arrangement" very much!

It doesn't take Graham too long to pick up on the pattern. A few weeks in, he locks himself in the bathroom with nothing but a notebook on him, and ends up trying to write down what exactly bothers him in the reflection.

No matter how hard he tries, the descriptions aren't detailed enough. His face isn't "wrong", it's his eyes and nose and mouth and skin and- no, no, that's still too broad. His eye color seems too dark, and his eyelids are folded differently, and they seem too far apart, and-

The NotThem leaves him alone, satisfied enough, much faster than usual. This is the point where a realization strikes him, and all of his previous thought process gets off-track for a Stranger victim. Because you see, from his perspective, all what he knows is:

There is something herding him around, and he keeps falling for it's tricks. It torments him, and then leaves, seemingly content enough with his fear. Seemingly... fed by it. On top of that, he's barely himself through his own eyes, so to anyone else he's surely unrecognizable, just one slip up away from losing his self entirely, and is he still a person at that point? Is he a person at this point??

He doesn't feel that far off from an animal serving its purpose up until it will get slaughtered. With this one simple trick (overthinking), he has managed to change his fear of the Stranger into a fear of the Flesh! The NotThem hates him!

Does he react impulsively to this realization? Yeah, probably, since his response is to up and leave his flat instantly, only grabbing a few necessities along the way and with not intentions of coming back

He wanders for a while, feeling horrible and shuddering at each reflective surface he passes by because there is something wrong with his body, and it makes his skin crawl. Before he knows it, he's already desperate enough that he'd do just about anything to fix it

He feels he can't really trust anyone to try and fix all those little things without messing them up further, so that's off the table. He'll have to fix them on his own, with his bare hands if he has to. Then again, there's no telling if he won't mess himself up more by trying to fix things!

He decides he needs to get some practice. And some tools. And sure, he's been walking around for a while now, but it doesn't take him all that long to come across the nearest butcher store, and it's open! Just... strangely quiet. Up until,,, oh oops! uh oh!

Yeah, he kind of. Happened to walk into Jared Hopworth's Butcher Store? While the man is in the middle of disposing of a guy for the mafia? And those people were quite clear, no witnesses are allowed to leave, so... he's just stuck here now.

He's scared at first, as one would be upon walking in on a Huge guy torturing some other guy, but then... then he sees the way Jared pulls bones from the man, how he re-shapes them...

If he's going to die here, he might as well ask for help with a few of his own issues. For a start, he's pretty sure his right forearm doesn't look quite right because the bone should be a bit more squashed, and at a different angle, but that's apparently fixable???

Jared's not used to people wanting to be reshaped (this is like early-mid 2006, 6 years before the gym statement takes place, give him time), but he complies and is even more surprised by the honest positive reaction.

He asks if Graham needs help with anything else in his body, and Graham just pulls out his notebook. He knows that much fixing won't be free, but now at least one of his limbs looks his own again, he can't possibly stop now?? Not to mention, some of the bits are easier to replace or add to rather than re-shape, so... if he ends up having to lead a few people to their doom... well. So be it.

With every little change, he becomes more himself, but at the same time, strays further and further from who he used to be. And when he's finally satisfied with his results? He might just keep trying to bring more people to the butcher shop out of habit. :]

That's about it for the story I have properly planned. I do, however, have the idea that once Jared moves on to owning that gym of his, Graham will be Very helpful in finding future customers! All he has to do is approach people and kindly point out the few things he can just see are wrong about them, and then tell them he knows a place where they can fix those!

I'm not sure how/if he'll get involved with the main archives crew - maybe when Jane Prentiss traps Martin in his own home, he reaches a few similar conclusions that Graham did and that draws him in? Maybe he's been looking for the NotThem in case it slips up and can't finish the job properly again, which leads him to the institute? Maybe he happens to be one of the people Jon contacts all the way in season 3, since he managed to escape the Stranger's grasp and that might be useful? Who knows! I certainly don't, not yet!

Also I'm open to feedback on this AU since I don't cover Flesh much in my AUs and writing, so I feel a bit out of my depth? But I figured the body dysmorphia aspect of it could fit the mess I like to make of -selfs and identities when the NotThem is involved and I'm feeling a bit silly :] but I tried not to abandon the more animistic aspects of it? But again if that just Doesn't Work as well as I was hoping it would, like I said I am open to feedback!