#happy for him ofc good on you for getting 20/20 vision my guy | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sugar-petals · 4 years ago

Note

Can you tell us how to please a soft sub and hard sub? Like what could a guy enjoy?

it’s 95% individual, i’d ask + negotiate before ideas for play. i can suggest scenes but still, it might not be his limits. to remember is what differenciates the two: hard subs enjoy pain + power, soft subs don’t.

you can likely please the latter if you’re a gentle femdom aficionado. still depends on what kind of GFD you like, but you can grow into the role you agree on, shift. it’s a bit easier: fewer prerequisites. ofc there’s etiquette + talent, but you can please by tuning into the role pretty well.

the former: not as flexible. there are set qualities. understand this as a ‘needed with good reason’ profile rather than gatekeeping. sadism is the requirement. no 50-50 zone, you feeling that you are a natural is key. your sub won’t be happy if you merely try it. it’s usually clear to a domme anyways, you either lick your fingers for s/m or not.

↳ as for specific kinks. what i can give you is a list of things to AVOID for each.💡it’s a roundabout way to see what he prefers and each sub’s a different case but it’s a compass.

✏︎ soft subs — don’ts

hair-pulling -> choose fondles and pats instead wherever he likes it the most.

name-calling -> praise is usually preferred

yelling -> whispering/soft-spoken, this is an asmr zone ☁️

hard spanking -> lighter squeezes

no squishy props -> use pillows, blankets, plushies if he wants. but, in any case, you’ll need pillows. can’t have enough of those.

tears -> only as a spontaneous release [during aftercare], most soft subs aren’t into dacryphilia

chaos -> soft subs love consistency.

too much genitalia focus -> don’t forget the smooches and forehead kisses, and massages possibly. if he likes that, tend to seemingly neglegible body parts even, like ears and toes. boop the nose.

toy overwhelm -> back to basics, never forget he loves your hands. idea: choose pastels for color if you do get toys. dramatic black/red/metal is for the hardcore femdom department and suits the mood better. you likely have that preference already if you strictly soft dom.

breath play -> stick to neck kisses. mouth gags, same thing, he probably isn’t comfortable with it.

leaving marks -> 50-50, again, ask what kind you can and cannot leave. if he likes it, do 20% marks, 80% affection.

pragmatic, planned aftercare -> make it extensive + adapt easily. seems counterintuitive since hard subs take a lot more, but let me tell you soft subs think aftercare is literal catnip. if you’re a big brain domme, you transfer some aftercare favorites to the main act. also, about pragmatism: unlike with hard subs (see list below: #21), come up with a more fine-tuned safeword/limit system. these are play scenes where you can go into many different directions so that’s why.

straightforward -> it’s no problem if you’re the indirect or shy type as a domme, it’s about careful questions toward him here. many soft subs approach their dommes well with wishes. ironically, hard subs are the other way around, they might anticipate more unless they’re very extroverted. the biggest hard subs were the quiet kiddos at school 😉 soft subs can be bubbly and reveal their demands rather easily.

deprioritize your orgasm -> make him tend to you in a lazy, slow demeanour. spoil each other.

all over the place -> stick to bedroom bed, bathtub and couch unless otherwise requested. the point is to have a safe and comfortable spot.

breaking him -> never push, always guide. again, consistency, no highs and lows.

suppressing critique -> he wants to know where to improve, show him exactly how to do things the right way and work with mistakes. not humiliating, more like teaching.

dungeon -> keep it above ground.

hands-on ownership -> show him he belongs to you in other ways. spoil him, that’s the best way.

high heels -> too impractical for 80% of GFD activities. fetish gear generally doesn’t work here. just mentioning, it’s probably already clear to everyone. and, purely soft dommes don’t gravitate towards dominatrix fashion in the first place.

passive -> unlike with hard subs, you likely do a lot of the work. soft dommes are busier than people expect.

atmosphere? -> switch on the fairy lights, candles, make it dim. make it as romantic as possible.

power imbalance -> air to breathe for any hard sub, but soft subs prefer flatter hierarchies. mind you, your position is still one of guidance.

✏︎ hard subs — don’ts

tender voice > grit and growl in their ear aye

questions > proportion-wise, give more commands instead.

no tools -> introduce some devices according to your couple taste.

lenience -> tame that provocateur 😄 you define where his place is. show him, physically. under your foot, kneeling, bowing? find that perfect position for the two of you.

only caressing > choke and slap him, but ask/announce right beforehand.

unbridled aggression -> misguided way of dominance unless it’s primal play. i know it’s more negatively connotated but deliberate brutality is the word, you exact it while keeping rather cool. unless... he fancies you as the angry mistress, or passionate, punishing. but then again, no aggression. just brutality. the difference is huge. the more sadistic the play, the more contained your action. not all understated, just very directed and according to how you spoke about it, and according to the feedback in front of you. you get perfect awareness, not dizzy tunnel vision and fluctuating feelings. i say brutality because it indicates a person knows what they’re doing. aggression and anger means you bottle your judgement. the brain switches off there, it gets too erratic. also, aggression is less severe and a means to an end while brutality is for its own sake and goes heavy which is what hard subs enjoy: since they’re masochists. aggressive and violent dommes are just assholes, brutal hard dommes... are good dommes. 😛

free reign clothes -> tell him what type of outfit makes him domme candy. experiment plenty. don’t worry, most hard subs enjoy being told what to wear. and even if they don’t, suggesting it won’t piss them off. also, you can get strict and exacting as fuck with this. hard subs want your possessiveness in creative ways.

plain undressed -> chances are CFNM could be a hot idea sometimes, or fetish wear which is often appreciated in all things hardcore. then again, dressing up is no must, but definitely try all-black outfits, suits etc, whatever makes you radiate authority and the upper hand. remember, hierarchy. your superiority is what he enjoys during sex, he actually gets confused if you don’t show it in your particular way. if it’s not clothes, it’s the voice, anyway. the voice lives in his head rent free.

no control -> full body attention, grope him the way he likes. also, the nape of his neck is where your hand belongs. guiding his head is just...mmh ❤️

monotony -> hard subs like a rollercoaster. roleplay = perfect opportunity.

static plans -> important: hard subs learn fast. since pain-pleasure is involved their sensations are more intense so feedback is usually unequivocal. mind you, soft subs can sort their preferences well but for them it takes exposure to variety.

what’s a nipple? -> pinching and more is most likely welcome. ask and test.

spoiling -> spoiling no. rewards, yes. he works for it. what does he work towards? pleasing you completely. in your body and commands.

shy domme -> when it comes down to it, you need to be resolute and eloquent. if you struggle with it, e.g. start with being stoic. pick your favorite pokerface and have a signature smirk lmao! and definitely do in-depth talks. yes, about his desires. unlike soft subs, some guys take more time to open up here.

dry -> lube. keep it wet, especially his tear ducts anyway.

unsure experiments/not knowing the outcome -> seriously tackle and prepare skills. yes, whip your pillow first. you can ‘try’ things with soft subs, but you ‘do’ things with hard subs. why? less room for errors. you please him by being precise. don’t let it intimidate you, simply take it as a responsibility he respects you greatly for.

heels -> hard subs might like that. plus, you’ll often simply stand. he does lots of the work. hard dommes can be more laid-back than you’d expect. remember, you kick his ass and give orders. he’s a pretty active party. exception: he’s tied up.

hesitation -> hard dommes have to be quick. especially since we edge a lot. also, never hesitate to praise.

forgetting skin -> stimulate large areas as much as you can.

unarmed -> chances are he likes knife play, ask about it.

too much caution and pampering -> an insult to his esteem. i’m not kidding. he feels in his element when you don’t hold back anxiously. trust his strength 😊 it’s a perk of femdom in the first place, you may be working on more muscles and often more space on the body, most maledoms don’t have that luxury. the same goes for safewording, keep it simple and applicable for the heat/reflex of the moment. it’s counterproductive to be overcautious since it makes it too complex.

the usual spot -> if he’s down: play everywhere, consider every room together. a cold and hard surface does something for a hard sub. as does rug burn if he likes that. make him do all kinds of things 100% naked on a carpet while you watch, it’s so humiliating. i did it, the result was my sub discovering even higher levels of sluttiness.

suppression -> ask him to let it out vocally when he’s shy or not experienced. you’ll both love what follows. most hard subs are screamers. i hope you don’t have neighbors.

soft illumination -> use artificial light. not just to make your patient - doctor roleplay perfect, but because a hard domme needs to see what she’s doing for safety reasons already. use your (soy wax!) candles to ruin his back instead.

serious -> hardcore femdom is at its best when it’s peppered with little giggles. bring a feather just in case.

PS: these can even apply if they enjoy doing both, you have to match your tone according to the mood and plan then.

#anon #ask #cub mail 🐆#d/s talk #long post #d/s ed #d/s etiquette

57 notes · View notes

boogiewrites · 5 years ago

Text

Reports & Repertoire 20: Death & Life

Characters: Eddie Brock x Venom x Candace Miller (OFC)

Summary: The final chapter. Candy faces the consequences of her actions. Life and Death make things a lot clearer somehow... if you can come out on the other side.

Warnings/Tags: Violence. Death. (BUT FLUFF and a happy ending.) Hope you like it. <3

Click on my icon then go to Mobile Masterlist in my bio for my other works and chapters.

Candy lives a half-life for a little while. Defeated fully and looking over her shoulder. A break comes when someone else manages to release an article on the spree of Roofies and disappearances in the city and all the possible connections. It wasn’t much, there were no names, no fingers pointed or anyone blamed. But it was something and she’d needed a win, no matter how small it may have been.

Eddie was relieved, and so was Venom to a degree. Although he was still steadfast on being able to protect everyone, he was glad Eddie felt better. It allowed for the extra energy he spent being anxious to no longer be used up and therefore not make Venom as ravenous all the time. Edgier meant more food and Eddie was never in the mood to let Venom take control and have his fun. But now everyone had settled back into a nice pattern. Something… normal. As far as normal for them went.

A week later with the air clear and Venom fed, they go out for the evening. Something fun and light and intimate. It was fall now, a comfort in the upcoming holidays and the jitters of her secretly asking him to meet her parents after telling him something she should have long ago. Venom knew it, but telling Eddie and his bumbling nature had been hard. So Candy planned on telling him exactly how she felt that night. To let it all out and tell him what he meant to her, as a friend, a partner, a lover. To let him know she saw him in her future, and to ask him if he saw her in his.

Any serious discussions no matter how welcome and joyous they might be were far from Eddie's mind. They walked through the carnival like children with sticky mouths and hands full of candy when they weren’t in each other’s grasp. A laugh-filled trip through a haunted house, a stuffed Alpaca Eddie got way too into winning her and spent entirely too much money on goes home with them too.

They sit at the back patio, Candy's head on his shoulder, arms wrapped around one another and Venom quietly waiting in the wings. Fireworks from downtown we’re going off, a crispness to the air could be felt and in each other’s arms was the only place they wanted to be.

A ring at the door separates them. “That’ll be dinner! Didn’t take them long. Thought with the traffic from the festival it’d take longer.” She says with a pleasantly surprised look on her face.

“These explosions are aesthetically pleasing. Like the ones in July to celebrate the birth of America.”

“I see you paid attention.” Eddie nods approvingly, kicked back with a beer in his hand.

“I always pay attention.” He retorts. “Eddie.” Venom's tone and sudden stiffness brings a cool rush down Eddie's spine.

“What’s wrong?” Eddie whispers, feeling the tension.

————

Candy trots towards the door in her pajamas, bare feet soaking up the cool wood in the house.

“Candy?” A man asks as she opens the door.

“Yeah, do I need to tip you here or on the app?” She asked, fumbling with her phone.

“We tried to give you a tip but you didn’t listen.”

Her hair stands on end and her eyes shoot up wide and afraid. And they should’ve been. The man is holding a gun. “What do you want?” She whispers with a serious face and tone. Every muscle in her body was tense. She didn’t even breathe.

“All you have to do is stop. Just shut the fuck up about it. Stop trying to save the day Nancy Drew, this shit doesn’t fly in the real world. You shut up and it goes away.” he waves the gun around as he speaks.

“I’m afraid I can’t do that. What you’re doing is wrong.” There are tears in her eyes for too many reasons to name. She’d had self-defense classes. She could get the gun, yell for Eddie and this would be over. The seconds felt like hours as they say in life or death moments.

“I’ll say it again. You shut up. And it goes away. I have to give you your final warning.” He extends his arm, gun pointed down and Candy sees her moment. She tries to get in close and gain control, but the man had an itchy trigger finger. It slipped, him only being a messenger to scare her into silence. But it backfired. For everyone.

————-

“The door.” Is all Venom says before he encases Eddie. He was faster than Eddie could be and took in the scene in front of him with quicker decision making.

Candy was on the floor and bleeding with multiple gunshots to her torso. A man staring in the doorway in horror at them with a gun in his hand. As Eddie screams inside the cage of goo, Venom eats the attacker without a second thought. Now there was no man.

Candy cries out, back against the wall as she reaches out for them. “Eddie…” She wheezes and holds her chest.

“Shit. Shit. Shit.” He was never good at hiding his emotions when it came to worry for those he cared about.

“I... they…”

“Shhh, don’t speak. I’m calling the ambulance.” He fumbles and drops his phone into the rapidly growing pool of blood from underneath her.

“Eddie.” Venom says, tendrils moving down his hands as they touch Candy's pulse points.

“Eddie I-“ her eyes flutter as he cries and groans in fear, his phone continually slipping from his fingers as she sighs out his name, rapidly losing consciousness.

“Shhh shh we’ve got you baby. Don’t worry. I’ll call- SHIT!”

“Eddie she won’t make it.” Venom calmly states even though it helps nothing.

“We have to DO something we just can’t. FUCK!” His voice breaks and he holds her face as he cries.

Her head rests in his hand and she smiles for him, her vision tunneling. “Eddie I l-“

“Shhh save your energy Candy. Baby, I’ve got you.”

“Eddie I can help but… we have to separate.”

“What?”

“I can’t bond with her. I can try. To heal her, save her.”

He sees her go limp in his grasp and he sobs, hunched over and shaking. “Do it please just- FUCK!” He screeches and shakes her. “Save her, man!”

A warm embrace she finds herself in. Only the thought of “Eddie, I love you. I’m sorry.” In her mind. It’s all Venom hears as he takes her over, connecting to her every fiber and cell as he heals the wounds.

Eddie is left in his own personal hell as Venom works. He’s alone. Utterly for the first time in what felt like forever. There was no voice in his head but his own, and despite not holding the symbiote, his body had never felt heavier or harder to function. Candy lay lifeless, as Eddie sobbed and held her, choking out please, feeling helpless in the puddle of blood on the floor. If Venom had brought him back, surely he could help her.

———-

“She’ll live.” Venom says, a sluggish head forming from her shoulder and plopping onto Eddie's head.

Eddie can’t answer. He’s too busy sobbing into her hair to speak, he only nods and pulls Venom into his embrace.

“The superficial wounds are closed. I’m working on her heart now. It’ll be slow. Very intricate, human organs. Lots of blood to make.” He says weakly. “Wash her, take her to bed. Get us chocolate. Something. Need. Energy.” He hisses as he sinks back into her.

Eddie does as he’s told. Stripping them both and showering them off, leaving the bloody clothes on the shower floor. He puts her in bed, shorts and a hoodie of his she knows he likes. He touches her so gently, and she feels it, in a way. Venom tells her Eddie has her, and they’ll make sure everything’s okay.

Eddie left to deal with keeping the blood hidden as the food arrived. He looked a mess, red-faced and puffy-eyed but luckily the young guy didn’t seem to care. He forgets the food and tosses it in the fridge. Locking everything and now to the task of cleaning up the blood.

He’s never cleaned up a body’s worth of blood before. Towels were no help and paper was too weak. He gathers it all into a pile, slouching it into a garbage bag. He throws their now soaked and blood-stained clothes in as well and tries to make the place looked decent. He can’t do much for the blood spatter on the light-colored walls but, paint could fix that later right?

He falls exhausted into the bed next to her. He watches her breathing, color back in her face now that had been a ghastly white. “Is she...in pain?” He asks, feeling the tiredness take over his muscles as he tries to push back her hair and hold her hand.

“No.” Venom quietly answers. “Not physical.”

“Good.” He nods. “Wait, what does that mean?” He double-takes.

“She is distraught. Emotionally.”

“She DID almost die.”

“Yes. She understands. And wants me to tell you she knows who it was.”

“WHAT?” His brow furrows and his eyes go wide, his weak and human body ready to defend her anyway.

“It was a message. The men she was trying to expose. They found out it was her. A snitch she presumes from the tone, she says.”

“Can she hear me?” He asks.

“No. But I can talk to her for you if you wish. She has many things to say.”

“Like what? About the guys who shot her?”

“No. About you.”

“Me? What about me? What’d I do? What does she need?”

“You. Just you.” Venom’s voice reflects the loving nature of her request. “What she wants to say is that she loves you. What she won’t admit is she wants to marry you. She doesn’t want to leave you as much as she doesn’t want you to leave her. She loves us Eddie. Us.” A weak sigh as he feels it all so intensely in the new body.

“She… loves us?”

“Very much so. She was going to tell us tonight. Tell you tonight. Wants us in her future. To… meet her parents she says.”

“I’ll do anything she wants.” He laughs and kisses her forehead. “I’ll marry her as soon as she can stand if she would. I love her. Tell her I love her so much. I thought I’d lost her and I’ll never let her get hurt again. I’m so sorry.”

“Nothing to be sorry for. You warned her, she says. And you were right.”

“Are you sure that’s her saying that?” Eddie laughs and kisses her cheek.

“She thought you’d say that.” Venom ripples happily at the love he was being sent. “You should ask her to marry you. After this has passed. I didn’t mention that part to her. She loves us. She will say yes.”

“I need a ring.” He says with rapidly moving eyes. “But we can do that right?”

“Yes we can.” Venom trills happily.

———

Venom totally healed Candy. Not so much as a bit of bacteria out of place when he leaves her. She awakes in her bed with a gasp and Eddie sitting upright beside her.

“Hey baby, it’s okay. We’re here. You’re good. Take it easy.” He rushes out as he holds her head and chest steady.

“Eddie I was… I thought I was dead there for a minute.” She speaks softly and takes his hand with wide eyes.

“You were. But Venom fixed you. Good as new. Not a stitch out of place now.” He tells her proudly.

“Eddie.. I…” She feels exhausted but really good otherwise. Like she’s been hit with a truck but then injected with adrenaline. She lunges forward and wraps her arms around his neck. “I almost didn’t get to tell you I loved you. And I do. So much.” She whines into his neck and he holds her back just as tightly with a soft smile as he kisses her head.

“I love you too. The most. So much. You’re not going anywhere Candy. I’ve got you.”

“I don’t think he meant to kill me.” She says with a stark change in tone. “I think it was a warning. He would’ve shot me in the head otherwise.”

“Shhh. We don’t have to talk about it yet.”

“That was…” She lets out a sigh and slumps, letting him direct her against his chest as he leaned back in the bed.

“You’re okay now. Just rest for a minute.” He shushes her and she accepts it.

“She is right. Her logic is on point. The angle, the weapon and words… all point to a warning and not a hit.”

“Venom we don’t have to-“

“See?” She mutters into his chest.

“Perhaps if we… lay low. Stop prying…” Venom reluctantly suggests.

“He’s right. I’m so sorry for risking it. For putting us all in danger.”

“S’alright Candy.” Eddie insists with a kiss to her head once again. Her hair soft and fluffy from the bath he’d given her. “If that’s true then… we can rest now, right? Take it easy. Just… us. Not take this for granted?”

“You’re right. We work too hard. I miss you too much. I need you Eddie. All the time.” She says weakly and squeezes his torso as he pouts and returns the affection. “Move in with me. Stay here. I’ll take time off work, so can you. We can hideaway. We can catch up for lost time and just… exist.”

“Really?”

“Yes. I love you and I want you around. I want you to meet my parents. I want you involved in my life, Eddie. I want you here. With me.”

“Then I will. Don’t have to convince me. I’m already sold.” He gives her a soft smile and she kisses him unexpectedly in response.

“I love you.” She whispers and holds him tight.

“I love you too. We’ll figure it all out. I’ll move in. We’ll take some time off.”

“I feel like I’ve been away for a year. I feel like I miss you so much and you’re right here.”

“I was here the whole time. Never leaving your side Candy, don’t ever question it.”

————-

With every bit of confidence they could muster, Candy and Eddie walked into their boss ' offices and said they were taking some time

off. Whenever someone asked, personal reasons was the answer given and due to their contracts, they weren’t left with too much of a choice in the matter.

A month. An entire month of just them. They huddled up in their little home. Like bunnies, they snuggled, fucked, ate, napped and played. With sight of what was important, everything was lighter, clearer and nothing had ever felt so right. She felt like she'd gotten a second chance, and it was all Venom's doing. She was eternally in debt to him and Eddie. Their long nights and days spent together let her think about what was most important outside of a career. What did she want to leave behind and still do that she had been pushing back in the name of work? It was time to prioritize.

--------------------

They didn’t leave the house for four whole weeks. They did nothing but enjoy each other in every way they knew how. And with a few nights left of their getaway, Eddie knew exactly how to finalize the best few weeks of his life.

“Keep your eyes closed alright? Just trust me.”

“I do.” She replies happily as she covers them with her hands. He’s taken her downtown and showed her off, fed her the best food money could buy and they got to remember what being around civilized people was like. They much preferred the sanctuary of their home. They laughed a little too loud, kissed a little long for everyone else’s taste. But no one else mattered anymore.

So as the night moved into early morning, a walk through the architecture of downtown skyscrapers, hand in hand, he stops her at the foot of one. This one being the tallest of them all. And thus having the best view. If you knew how to get there.

She feels an odd whoosh, a rush of air that goes on for a minute but she keeps still, keeps her eyes shut as she feels Venom's embrace. She feels her feet on solid ground again, and she's thankful for it.

“Okay. Open your eyes but STAY CALM okay? You’re fine. I promise. Venoms wrapped around you, we’re both fine.”

“Are you convincing me or yourself?” She asks with a nervous laugh as she uncovers her eyes but keeps them shut.

“Uh… a little of both?” His voice breaks and she finds his hand and takes it.

She opens her eyes and her arm reaches for Venom's tight grip around her waist. They were at the base of the needle at the top of the building. Only enough room to stand, she’s left to gawk as she realizes she’s safe.

“Oh my god.” She whispers, taking in the breathtaking view. Everything seemed so far away, the lights and sounds so concentrated at ground level seemed like faint melodies and twinkling stars up so high. “It’s… this is beautiful.” Her eyes can’t leave the sight as her hand stays firm in his and wrapped in Venom's body.

“This view was the beginning of me learning to love earth.” Venom adds.

“I can see why.” She shares the sentiment.

“I now know it’s the humans. Like Eddie. Like you. That make it worth staying.”

“You’re very sweet Venom, thank you.” She strokes his happily rippling mass.

“I wanted to give you something no one else could.” Eddie takes her full attention. “I know there’s only so much I can do, and I’m not… we’re not what you planned to be with but, we’re thankful every day that you are.”

She smiles and pouts slightly before Venom brings them chest to chest. “Eddie, baby, you’re more than I could’ve ever hoped for.” She insists with a kiss to his cheek.

“And so are you. You’re, everything to me. Everything I wanna be, everything I’m not. You.. you complete me Candy and I don’t wanna go back to being alone. Not without Venom, not without you. I want you to stay. I wanna make sure you stay.” He insists with hands to her cheeks that surprise her, intensity and fear she wasn’t used to seeing in Eddie.

Venom swirls up her arm, tiny tendrils taking her hand and holding a ring that shone as bright as the city lights below.

“I wanna spend the rest of my life with you, Candy Miller. Would you do that for me? Would you marry me?” He asks with hopeful eyes that make her chest ache at the thought he might believe even for a second she’d say no.

“I’ll stay with you beyond that.” She promised and kisses him softly. “Of course I’ll marry you.” She laughs against his lips. A warm embrace against the cold winds up so high. A kiss that faded and turned into happy sighs as they caressed each other’s faces in excitement. “You’ve made my life absolutely insane.” She laughs, “But I couldn’t stand it without you now. Without you both.”

“We love you Candy.” Venom almost sings and wraps himself around her head to nuzzle her in the form of a slug-like round head.

“I love you boys.” She lets out a huge sigh and Eddie beams at her. It went perfectly. She was perfect. It was all so… perfect.

“It will be perfect.” Venom whispers into his head.

Eddie questions him wordlessly.

“You’ll see. One more present.” He insists inwardly. “Ready to go home?” He asks Candy.

“I believe so. I want to cuddle up with my babies.” She teases and kisses Eddie again.

“And you will. Keep tight. Eyes shut.” He says as they’re sucked together into his darkness and taken in leaps and bounds back to the safety of their bedroom.

“That feels sooo weird.” She laughs stumbling back and sitting on the bed as she’s released.

“You get used to it.” Eddie grins, he had a feeling that he wouldn’t be able to stop for awhile.

“I have one more present.” Venom announces, a more fully formed head to speak to them both. “It is something you both wanted.”

They both wait with a shared glance as Venom vibrates with excitement. He moves Eddie closer to the bed and stands up Candy as they look at each other with laughter in their eyes he ripples again.

“Ready?” He asks with a wide smile.

“Yeah, I wanna know why you’re acting so weird.” Eddie playfully jabs him.

“Eddie…” He takes one of his hands. “Candy…” He takes hers and takes a deep breath that was only for show as he didn’t need to physically breathe. He places Eddie's hand to her stomach and places hers on top. “You’re going to have a baby.” He says with tiny tendrils flicking about in celebration.

“A- What? I’m afraid I can’t be, hun, I’ve got an IUD remember?” She looks at him confused along with Eddie.

“It was destroyed along with your uterus in the shots. I removed it and healed you. I can taste the difference in your sweat. The hormones. They’ve changed.”

She gulps and her hand clenched around Eddies. “Are you… serious?”

“Yes. I repaired you beyond what you were before, you’re a perfectly balanced machine now.”

“We’ve been having sex this whole month and... I…” She feels a little woozy and Eddie braces her back. Careful to read her reactions.

“Are you serious?” He asks him again.

“Yes! Why do you keep asking? I wouldn’t have waited to tell you if I hadn’t thought it would make a good present.”

“It… is a good present?” She can hear the break in Eddie's voice. His eyes moving to hers that were still wide in shock.

“I’m… I’m gonna… WE are gonna… OH GOD WILL IT BE AN ALIEN?!” She shouts and Venom rumbles out a laugh.

“No. Sadly not. This is all Eddies work.”

“Eddie.” She squeaks out, His high brows move closer to her own. “I’m pregnant.” She states with disbelief. A pause that makes him nervous then an almost maniacal laugh escapes her. “I’m pregnant.” She speaks again and laughs. “Oh my God Eddie. We’re gonna have a baby. A baby.” She laughs and throws her head into his chest.

“Please tell me these are happy crazy laughs.” He inquires hesitantly and she squeezes him tight.

“After I was shot. I thought about a lot of things. How I spent my time. What I wanted out of life.” She begins without looking at him yet.

“She’s always wanted to be a mother. But never knew when the right time would be.” Venom makes it easier for her, a loving stroke of her hair and pat to her back.

“Exactly. I forget you we’re in my head.” She lets out a sniffle. “My mom's gonna be so happy.” She laughs and it turns to tears. “Eddie we're gonna have a baby.” She starts to sob as he laughs at first at the absurdity of it all. But with the life he’d led, honestly, a baby was about the least crazy thing. A baby was entirely normal in comparison.

“We’re gonna have a baby.” He chokes out before the contagious laughing tears get their hooks into him as well. “We’re getting married and we're having a baby.” He lets out a loud sigh of relief.

“This is crazy.” She laughs as they rest forehead to forehead and wipe away the other’s tears.

“Is it? Compared to…” He motions to Venom whose big opal eyes were brimming with his version of tears. A sympathetic reaction to his host's emotions.

They burst out laughing at it all. Because what else could happen that would be more surprising than what they’d already been through? This mantra gave them the outlook they had needed. They would take it all in stride now from experience, they would work through the bad and cherish the good. They kept in mind how absurd it all was, and laughter followed them through it all. Because what could be crazier than what life had already thrown at them?

@hardygal69 @marvelgirl7 @emerald-bijou @brianaisasongbird @vale0413 @izzy-the-ginger @chortletortoise @onomatopoetic-aesthetic @anrm1 @jademox @nightcraver @venomous-possibiities @tinastarkandco @chipster-21 @ugly-crying-over-bucky-barnes @queenof-wakanda @s-h-e-w-r-i-t-e-s @peakys-mystic @jaegeeeeer

#venom #eddie brock #venom fanfic #eddie brock fanfic #venom fan fic #venom fic #venom fan fiction #eddie brock fic #eddie brock fan fiction #eddie brock fan fic #tom hardy #eddie brock au #eddie brock x reader #eddie brock x oc #eddie brock x ofc #venom x oc #venom x ofc

47 notes · View notes

troublcmvker · 5 years ago

Text

TASK ONE: make a new year’s wish.

I. mun based questions.

question one. i’m always open for pain and evil ideas! i Live for drama and wouldn’t be opposed at all. but i also think it’d be pretty neat to sometimes post a general request? especially if there’s a plot where a bunch of characters would fit and you guys could decide who fits Better! and that way everyone gets a chance to be part of Something.

question two. i’d probably suffer a lot but i don’t mind the getting hurt. sometimes actions have consequences and they need to Learn. i’d be cool with that in any way tbh, most of my characters are vampires so... eh, they can just re-attach their arms for all i know. same with elijah but as a fellow human, it sucks to suck i guess.

question three. i would probably need to mentally prepare myself first, i’d get back to you on this one someday.

II. muse based questions.

ASRA - volturi guard vampire. ( pansexual, homoromantic )

i. i have a hc that during his human years there was one person he’d been in love with. the only being in his entire life he’d felt something for. asra never really confessed bc... times were different and their relationship would have been forbidden; but i imagine they were close friends. ofc, after he became a vampire and found out someone killed his family he went on a killing spree & pretty much everyone in his village paid the price. but he doesn’t know for sure if this person was a victim too. imagine if by some chance ( him not actually killing them and accidentally turning them; or them not being around at the time and being turned later by someone else ) they find their way into seattle... and them and asra meet. asra’s dramatic ass being reminded that he does actually have feelings!

additional info: would have to be a male aligned korean fc around the same fake age as asra so... early 20s.

ii. i think finding his singer would be something fun to explore? not in a... romantic sense because i highly doubt he’d even consider that. but more in a how dare you exist and make me feel like a monster for wanting to murder you, kinda way. bc.. he’s not exactly someone that kills for fun, mostly because he has to if he wants to survive ( and he does ); so someone that brings out that... feral? part of him and reminds him that he is, in fact, a killing machine would be fun!

iii. asra is someone that finds humans... very interesting; in the same sense of a zoologist finding animal behaviour interesting. he observes them from afar, never gets too close. what if someone comes so utterly... fascinating ( maybe bc they’re just a trainwreck of a person, or just... so different in the way they act ) that actually makes asra want to see them up close, interact with them or even... gasps care for them? unheard of!

iv. this one is for my vamps out there. it’d be neat for him to find someone that calls him out on his “i have no feelings” bullshit, and gets close to him enough for asra to actually want to open up to them... long story short a friend someone he truthfully cares about. i see this as mostly platonic but it could be romantic if there’s chemistry.

additional info: they’d have to be male for any sort of romantic relationship to happen

v. maybe someone from their old covens ? i imagine he’d been in two before joining the volturi guard. nothing more than that, just someone, or multiply people ( squad ? ) that knows him from a long time ago and he banters with, or fights with, or maybe has a nice relationship with!

vi. vampire he’s hooked up with ? most likely during his newborn days tbh, or before he joined the volturi. bc now it’s Serious Business Only.

additional info: could be any gender.

ALICE - olympic coven vampire. ( pansexual, panromatic )

i. i WOULD LOVE CYNTHIA BRANDON. OR ANY LONG LOST RELATIVE !!! that’d be such a chef’s kiss connection to explore considering she doesn’t remember anything about her human life. if it’s cynthia just imagine her pain of her recognizing her sister but alice having no memories, absolutely nothing in her mind other than a weird feeling of ‘have i seen you before?’ or if it’s a long lost relative... them recognizing alice from really old family pictures and being like ‘isn’t this one of my relatives that disappeared from the asylum? wtf???’

additional info: cynthia brandon/any other relative would have to be at least half korean.

ii. i have a hc that after being turned, as a lost newborn she was found by an extremely nice and welcoming coven that took the time to teach her how to live her new life. i think it’d be cool to either meet her sire or an old coven member again!

iii. when she was just turned alice had no idea what the visions in her mind meant. she had forgotten everything about her life, and had no choice but to start all over again. at first she did everything she could to ignore the images on her head; and focused on simply making the most of this 2nd chance she was given. there was this one other vampire ( could be from that old coven, or just someone else she met ) that seemed to understand her so well. and for alice, someone that had never experienced love before, they were... everything she needed at the time. they helped to shape her into the bright and loving little angel that she is, they were so good to her. but soon enough came this vision, of her surrounded by so much happiness, a loving family and a mate that wasn’t them. a vision she couldn’t ignore. they were good, they understood, in fact they were the ones that encouraged her to seek for them, because it’s what she deserved. and so... she left in order to find her destiny. what if alice and this vampire met again? ( obviously alice loves jasper more than anything and she’s 100% sure he’s her soulmate but... mayb the pain :^) or just that Good Good loving and purely platonic relationship !!! )

additional info: could be any gender!

iv. humans/other vampires/cotm she’s blessed with her fashion knowledge as a fashion consultant ?? idk ! friends !!

GARRETT - nomad vampire. ( pansexual, demiromantic )

i. this dude’s been alive since mid 1700s. always involved in american wars! i feel like in one of them, when there was someome that truly needed it. he turned a fellow soldier to make sure they come back from war. he thought them the basics, helped them through the bloodlust. what happened after they come back from the war is utp. but garrett is their sire. maybe they resent him, maybe they’re grateful. all there is to know is that they’re alive thanks to him.

ii. he’s quite the adventurer so... maybe vampires he’s met through the years on his expeditions? could be friends, could dislike eachother.

iii. i imagine at some point during his long life there had to be someone he was extremely close to. someone that could have been his mate, but for any reason they didn’t quite get there. maybe because at the time one of them ( most likely garrett tbh ) wasn’t willing to settle down, or maybe their feelings weren’t deep enough for that. but they worked well together in any other way. they could have drifted apart, moved along on good terms, or on bad terms. but seattle becomes the city they once again collide in.

additional info: could be any gender!

iv. the idea of a coven... wasn’t the most appealing for a free spirit like garrett. but it wasn’t something he had completely ruled out. maybe there was a time he was a part of one, or got really close to. they come to seattle and find him here, still a nomad, as free as ever. could be fun to explore!

v. this seems like a crackhead plot but hear me out... a human completely oblivious about the existence of supernatural beings. obsessed with american history. finding a similar looking guy in every single picture from all the american wars there have been since cameras were invented. and oh my god? does that tall dude in the library looks exactly like the dude in the pictures too? what the hell is going on? am i on x files?

ELIJAH - human. ( pansexual, demiromantic )

i. any possible platonic relationship you could imagine! childhood friends, high school friends, college friends, training/cop/detective friends ?? legit ANYTHING. i’m always sipping that ‘i love platonic connections’ juice

ii. this one connection is important. but basically... elijah gained his status by making the Right Connections. but there was someone above everyone else that helped along the way. they were together pretty much since they both started college, and they had everything elijah wished to have growing up. their relationship was mostly physical, their feelings for eachother weren’t that deep and they were both aware of that. elijah would get the exposure/connections he wanted; and they’d get the excellent academic status that came with elijah. but the fact that they were pretty much the reason why elijah got the chance to make those connections made them think they held some sort of power above him. and since elijah still wasn’t in a place where he could just let everything crumble down, he’d comply and do as they said. this relationship was toxic, there was no love between them at all. and it was bound to end at some point. there were some nice moments, not including the amazing sex, that would make elijah consider the possibility of a future together; but the bad moments would always make him go right back to his senses. if anything elijah is thankful for them, but he’s also extremely grateful that things ended without any of them hurting the other more than they already had.

additional info: could be any gender!

iii. past hookups ? exes ? there could be lingering feelings from their part.. or not. they could be bitter, or ended up in good terms! ( he’s married, in love AND faithful so it wouldn’t really be anything more tbh )

#equinox.task1 #my brain reached its limit when i got to elijah for plots #i'm Sorry my boy i really do love you

2 notes · View notes

rapunzel-withthegoodhair · 6 years ago

Photo

City & Ghost

pairing: shawn mendes x ofc (narrated second person, reader) summary: maybe he shouldn’t call you. but maybe you shouldn’t pick up. playlist: listen while reading rating: pg-13 (alcohol abuse, swearing, infidelity, older female/younger male, etc) word count: 5639 status: complete / one-shot

author’s notes: just for clarification, my ofc is 27 in this story to shawn’s 20. not an impossibly crazy difference but enough to throw some hurdles in (especially since she’s married). click the ofc link for more info about Holland :)

I look in the mirror past the buildings, The sky’s getting light Another piece of my innocence Is the admission I paid there tonight Though it makes me sick, and I imagine her saying “You’re better than this…”

///

Nine minutes after midnight and your phone nearly vibrates right off the kitchen counter.

He’s got his own ringtone so you know when it’s safe to answer. The rational part of your brain says, ‘Damn girl just block his number. Have some mercy on the boy. Let him move on. Force him to move on.’ Only one problem with that…you’re weak for him too.

It doesn’t matter tonight though. Alec is in San Diego and the only person you’re cleaning up after is yourself.

“Hey…” It’s all you can think of to say. Maybe you should applaud him for the whole month he took this time in between calls. Maybe you would, if it hadn’t been excruciating. If your stomach wasn’t doing swimmer’s backflips over having him reach out for you again.

“I miss you.” You know immediately that he’s wasted out of his mind. ‘Isn’t he always?’ Your mind echos back. It’s an unfair statement, because he’s only 20 and he’s on tour and why would he call you sober. But lately it’s a little too true.

“I miss you too, baby boy…” God, you wish the words were a lie, dripping from your lips only for his sake. But they’re not. There’s a rusty metal ache in your skin that’s almost too much at times. Like a hangover no pill will fix. “Yeah?” Doubt is strung up in his voice like christmas lights. It’s been so long, he doesn’t believe you. Not anymore. It’s like a knife slashed across your ribs to hear him hurt, knowing you’re the reason why. “What do you miss?”

Your teeth tug at your lip. You should not be having this conversation. You should not be lighting that flame in his heart again. But fuck, it’s such a relief to confess the words to someone. Anyone. Even if it’s just him.

“I miss…waking up at four am to you playing piano.” That morning comes back to you with stunning clarity. He’d tried so hard to be quiet, but his inspiration had been a hungry mistress, sinking her teeth too deeply into that beautiful skin to be ignored. You’d never been able to find any anger or annoyance in your heart over it though, despite the sleep lost.

///

You thought Alec’s snoring was annoying. But apparently, Shawn just doesn’t sleep at all.

It’s a little worrisome. Friday night, the non-profit you work for had hosted a charity Gala. Not only had Shawn played at the event, but the next day he’d shown up at the high-profile, private meet and greet that had been offered as an incentive for ‘diamond tier’ donors, (so they could bring their rich little brats to ooh and ahh over him as well). And later that evening he’s scheduled to play Allstate Stadium. He needs to rest. But for the second night in a row, you’re waking up to piano notes being plucked from the stars while Chicago still sleeps.

You barely know him. Only met him at the Gala. But you don’t know how to cut him loose and your husband is in Houston; won’t be home until Monday night.

You’re madly in love with Alec. Never would’ve married him if it weren’t true (not that the money hurts…). Loyalty has never been a question in the past. Just the thought of another man touching you has always turned your stomach. But…Shawn needs you. And maybe you need him too. Not because anything has been missing. But because your light refuses to turn away from his. It’s instinctual. Something beyond choice or reason.

Leaning in the corridor entryway, you watch his body shift along to the music he’s creating. His strong shoulders beat out a rhythm in lieu of drums. He’s singing so softly and you can tell it’s tearing him apart just a little. To try and keep the beast of raw creativity that beats inside him on a leash.

And I won’t be a product of my genre My mind will always be stronger than my songs are Never believe the bullshit that fake guys feed to ya Always read the stories that you hear on Wikipedia And musically I’m demonstrating When I perform live, feels like I am meditating

Wandering across the living room, you can’t help the smile tugging at your mouth. He’s so fucking beautiful. And it’s not his pale, milky skin. Or his adorable curls. Or even those sexy brown eyes. It’s not his tight abs or his thick arms or his strong back. It’s the light that pours out of him, like a cup running over. The passion for music and life rattling through him like a wooden-track roller coaster. The raw, unbroken way he still looks at the world and smiles. Still feels hope. Still wants more. You’re not sure when you lost that light…but at twenty-six years old, you’re already terrified it might never come back. Maybe it’s that fear that makes it feel as if…walking away from him would be the end of you. Because this is the most alive you’ve felt in years.

You watch him and you wonder, ‘is this how Hades felt when he first saw Persephone…?’

Arms sliding over his shoulders and around his neck, you lean to kiss along his jaw and cheek. Grin when you feel his own smile, almost too wide for his pretty face, matching yours. Despite his happiness at your touch, you feel his muscles tense. He’s so used to being told who to be. Where to stand. What words to say. Which camera to smile into. He’s already bracing himself for the inevitable. Already waiting for you to tell him to keep it down. To go back to sleep.

“Sing it louder, baby.” You whisper into his ear, still smiling hard as your arm stays draped across his chest. “We own the whole floor. Ain’t nobody gunna hear you but me.” You rarely let anyone hear your Kentucky accent. No one is supposed to know your tragic backstory. Not here in the city. Least of all, what’s sure to be a weekend fling with some teen heartthrob superstar you’ll never see again. But you can’t seem to help it. Around him, the refined lady you’ve worked so hard to become slides instinctively back into the Harlan County wildflower you grew up as.

His smile grows until his eyes nearly disappear and the boy leans to steal a soft kiss.

“You sure? S’four in the morning.” His chuckle is low in his chest as he nuzzles at your soft skin. Like a puppy reassuring himself is pack is still there. “Don’t wanna annoy you ‘n get kicked out.”

Shaking your head slowly, your hands gently tip his head back. Dust a kiss to his nose, then in between his eyes. Something about the way he relaxes so completely in your arms, his features euphorically neutral as if he’s just spent a day at the spa, making you feel as if you hung the damn sun in the sky.

“Wanna hear you fuck that shit up.” You flash him a wide smile that he returns without hesitation. Scritching at his hair playfully, you head to the kitchen. He’s been in your line of vision for nearly 48 hours and you’ve hardly seen him eat a thing. But not here, not on your watch. “I’ll make you some breakfast.”

I’m still the same as a year ago But more people hear me though According to the myspace and youtube videos I’m always doing shows, if I’m not I’m in the studio Truly broke, never growing up call me Ruffio Melody music maker Reading all the papers They say I’m up and coming like I’m fucking in an elevator ‘Cause you need me, man, I don’t need you

The Ed Sheeran song sounds good like this. Slowed down and smokey wrapped up in his tired voice. The lyrics are cocky but his passion is too damn infectious, his talent too explosive, for it to come off as anything other than fun (besides, you think to yourself, what’s wrong with a little confidence if you can walk your talk?). Brewing a strong pot of coffee to share, you’d made a whole pan of scrambled eggs with bacon. Watched him play until the sun was peeking out over Chicago’s skyline to greet you. Then cuddled on the couch as you fed him. Until his fatigue finally started winning rounds. He’d fallen asleep on top of you, his ribs on your stomach as your hand caressed up and down along his spine. Humming softly in his ear, your eyes drifted back to the piano.

You’d never cared about that stupid grand, had been annoyed at Alec just for buying the overpriced centerpiece to your penthouse living room when neither of knew how to play. It had sat there, doing nothing but collecting dust and looking pretentious. Until it came to life under Shawn’s fingers. Just like you… ///

“Hmm…wrote a good song on that beauty.” You can’t help but smile at the sound of his own smirk. Every atom in your body had screamed at you not to listen when his new album had dropped. But you had anyway. And your heart had slammed into your chest when you’d heard the chords he’d composed hidden behind your walls first.

“Yeah, you did… proud’a you, you know.”

A long pause follows and you think you hear him swallow. Maybe he doesn’t know…

“Say it again?”

Eyes falling closed, a quiver shakes your bottom lip as you fight the tears. God, he sounds so broken. Over the past year, you’ve spent…maybe nineteen or twenty days together in total. Every time you tell yourself it’s the last time. But then he calls… and you love Alec so fucking much… but…

“I’m so fucking proud of you, baby. I mean it. There’s too much damn talent burnin’ through you. Watching you perform is like… watching a meteor shower.”

Quiet again. But this time the background clinking of glass on glass seems to suggest he’s doing his best to fight off the creeping edges of sobriety. You can just picture him in the dark of his hotel suite, curtains drawn so he can see the city lights. Still wearing whatever he went out in after his show. Hands shaking as he pours himself another round from the mini bar.

“If you went out onto the roof right now…could you see the stars?” Lord, he’s so drunk. He grew up near enough to a city. He should remember damn well you can’t see the stars uptown.

Leaning over a bit to scratch your leg, you chew at your lip. You know where he’s going with this. You’re still pathetic enough to want to fall down the rabbit hole.

“Probably not. City’s the same as it ever was…”

“Oh…yeah.” Disappointment drags his voice down into the gutter. “Would you go out anyway? We could just… be under the same sky?”

You’re not sure that’s how it works. According to the pictures on Instagram, he’s in Miami. You’re in the Midwest. Technically, you’d be staring out at two different expanses of space. But you’d do anything for him. And the lie sounds so sweet.

“Course, baby. Always.” Standing, you move to grab a sweater and some shoes. Then cross the room to the penthouse elevator that leads to the roof. That’s yours as well and you’d been in charge of its renovation when Alec bought the place. A small garden sits up there, along with a modest pool and stone fire pit. The accent features play host to the ghosts you try not to look in the eye. But walking outside invites them in like a séance.

///

Your hand is in his dragging him up the stairs. Sure you could take the penthouse elevator, but racing down the hall and then up the maintenance stairwell is more fun. The door bursts open and the wind blows you around a bit, your own inertia sending you both spinning until you nearly fall over.

“And this! Is my pride ‘n joy. I designed all this. The garden ‘n the pool. Firepit.” He stands behind you, arms around your shoulders, kissing your cheek as you point out each feature. In the distance, Lake Michigan glints under a breathlessly breezy summer day.

You had planned out the roof carefully. Each feature exists in its own space and yet in harmony with the others. You enjoy showing the place off. All your friends have sexy, sleek uptown apartments. None of them have anything this unique. This tangible and sensory driven. Every new set of eyes laid on the place always mindlessly ‘ooh’s and ‘ahh’s over the space. If they’re feeling extra obnoxious, they might throw out a few technical design terms they picked up from HGTV. You expect Shawn to do the same.

But somehow, he sees the puzzle. Puts the pieces together quicker than anyone else.

“Earth, water, fire… I guess Lake Michigan takes care of the wind.”

“Clever boy.” Impressed, you match his smile and slowly nod. Absently, your fingers toy with his much longer ones and your head rests back against his chest as both of you take in the city. “I guess those things have always felt the most real to me. The five elements.”

“Five?”

“Mm,” You tug on your lip, trying to remember how elegantly your grandmother had explained it. “Element of spirit. None of it means anything if it’s not alive. It’s the energy we borrow from the universe that allows any of the elements to connect. To borrow from one another. Feed one another. Find one another. Love one another.”

“So…up here….you’re the spirit element?”

Your head quirks and you turn in his arms. Quiet surprise hangs in the air between you for a long string of moments…before your arms finally curl around him. Tilting your head back, you scritch your nails lightly, affectionately across his back. A smile slowly pulls at your lips.

“How’d you figure that out, pretty boy?” It’s overwhelming enough that he’s so beautiful. So full of life. Bursting at the seams with talent and passion. Confusingly good. And so disarmingly vulnerable. The fact that he also understands you effortlessly is near impossible to wrap your head around.

A shrug falls from his broad shoulders and he nuzzles at your nose. He has the best view in Chicago to feast on, but his focus is locked on you. Fingertips brushing down your cheek, they slide up into your hair. In an attempt to curb the game of twister Chicago’s wind is playing with it, his fingers curl around the long strands gently, then fist just enough to clasp it all in place. You’re forced to stand closer to him as a side effect, but you’ve suffered far worse.

“That’s so beautiful. That you refuse to let the city take that away from you.” It’s the first time anyone has seen through your ‘perfectly manicured uptown midwestern wife’ charade. The first time anyone’s suspected that maybe there’s still some part of you bucking against the saddle. Alec has always taken care of you. But Shawn is in your blood, undressing your soul instead of just your body.

Reaching up to grip his neck, you pull him down into a warm, deep kiss. Push open his hoodie and rest your body against his. How the hell he’d sorted the secret language of you was still a mystery. But that was the moment you knew you loved him.

///

“You know I’m gunna be in Chicago next week…” “Are you?” The sirens go off in your brain as you lean against the cement edge of your rooftop. ‘Absolutely not. You need to leave him alone.’ This isn’t even about staying loyal to Alec. Shawn deserves everything you can’t give him. Deserves a girl his own age. Someone who is available to anoint him in love every minute of every day like it’s holy oil and she’s his priestess. Keeping him stitched into your bone marrow is thievery. You’re stealing time he should be spending happy, with some pretty young thing as full to bursting with energy as he is.

“You still in the city?” “Yes, love. I’m right here, hmm? Same place you left me.” You feel like an undergrad at Northwestern all over again, listening to your drunk friends ramble in nonsensical circles as they stumble back towards sobriety.

“Didn’t leave you…” He’s pouting like a puppy, but your voice stays even and gentle. Patient as ever. Maybe the one advantage your age gives you with him is maturity. What might stir up a fight with a hormonal teenager, is just another chance to soothe him for you.

“You know that’s not what I meant, sweet boy. I know you’d never leave me. Not… not really.” What the fuck is wrong with you? How long is it going to be until this story shows up in the headlines. Before everyone else sees just how sick and cruel and pathetic you really are.

“I wanna see you. Tell me I can see you.” You hear a sliding glass door open and wind hits the receiver in small gusts. He’s always been a sucker for a balcony. You’re fairly certain he can’t see the stars either, but you’re almost certain you hear ocean waves in the distance.

“Baby…” One little word. You don’t mean for it to sound so loaded.

“You don’t want to? …Say it out loud then. Tell me you don’t want to see me and I’ll leave you alone.” There goes that pride again, trying to eat him whole from the inside out. He’s the sweetest boy in the world. But every now and then, when he’s stressed and lonely and drunk, his insecurities swim in his blood like piranhas.

Slowly, you drag in a breath. He can’t possibly understand all the ways this is wrong. On fire with his own youth, he knows nothing but chasing desire. Burning regret to the ground as if feeling alive is his only religion.

“S’nothing to do with want, baby. Always want you.”

It takes a few moments of silence but he finally circles back. The edge has left his voice (he’s never known how to be an asshole for more than 10 seconds at a time) but he’s still stubborn as always.

“I know it’s not Alec. I know you don’t love him more.”

“But I do love him.”

“Not enough to quit me.”

His words are a slap to the face and sting just the same. Swallowing, you fight all the instincts you learned from your mother. Lashing out (Oh, grow up and make your own mind up then. You’re twenty not five). Deflecting (you’re the one who called me). Jabbing at weak spots he was vulnerable enough only with you to show (aren’t there a million other girls who’d come clean you up right now? Or boys?). As guilty as the age difference makes you feel… you’re thankful you didn’t meet him when you were twenty. What a disgustingly toxic mess that would’ve been.

Dragging in a deep breath, you rub at your temple. Remind yourself he doesn’t mean it as harsh as it sounds. That he’s just hurt and wasted and trying to prove a point.

“You gunna hold it against me that I’m weak for you too?” You hope he can hear the slight pout in your sad, soft voice. He must, because you can feel the sobriety sweep over him for a moment. Like heavy rain sweeping down into a valley.

“Then what the hell is it Holland?” The sigh falls off his lips more tired, more defeated than angry.

Sometimes, if you drink a little too much wine and think about it a little too long, this shit with him still breaks you down into tears. Sometimes you don’t know why. Your own husband has a whole decade on you. So why is Shawn’s seven years younger always giving you so much grief?

“I have no right to love you…”

“…I don’t understand what that means. Please don’t be self-righteous right now. You don’t… you don’t understand how hard this is without you. You have no idea how fucking… messed up I feel all the time.”

But you do. It’s how you two met.

///

Each long evening gown that walks into the charity gala sparkles like a disco ball. The kitchen is buzzing with the refilling of trays and the fizzing of champagne. The donations are pouring in so fast, the attendants can hardly keep up with receipts. And, as usual, you are the spinning wheel of fortunes at the center keeping it all perfectly on track. St. Christopher’s is the largest non-profit foundation in the Midwest. Over the past six years, you’ve diligently worked your way up from undergrad intern to the Publicity Chair’s Executive Assistant. It doesn’t sound exciting but in the heart of a city as busy as yours, you’re essentially party planning for the elite. And honestly…it’s everything you ever wanted. Hell, this whole pop star performing at the Gala thing was your idea. Browsing the Allstate Arena’s schedule last year had led you to Shawn Mendes. Not for any particular reason other than the dates matched up nicely. He’d be in town for a show anyway and likely had the star power to generate enough interest. So you reached out.

Well, not to Shawn personally. Just his PR manager. But still, he’d agreed happily to stop by and you couldn’t be happier with how well he was working the crowd now. Taking pictures, signing autographs, navigating overpersonal questions with an impressively charming diplomacy. If he wasn’t already wildly successful at music, you’d have offered him a job on your team.

Dinner is served right on time, but neither you nor the night’s golden boy get to sit down or eat. You’re checking that dessert is being plated up in the kitchen and that trash is being rotated out fast enough. He’s up on stage, performing a few of his latest hits with his band. You’ve never heard his music before. Pop kind of isn’t your thing. The bluesy rock/folk you listen to is perhaps one of the last remaining hints that could give away your true roots as the granddaughter of a Kentucky coal miner.

Aren’t you shocked when you march out of the kitchen, only to find him spilling his guts up on stage. A guitar crying in his hands, a microphone his voice is all but making love to. No pop in sight. Your steps slow to a dead stop. The guitar in his hands bleeds out a euphoric set of chords that break open your ribs and pool in your chest.

Nothing physically has changed. He’s still the same, tall dark and handsome kid that walked in two hours ago. No, the change is all you. You’ve woken up. You can see his cracks and all the light pouring out of them. As if he’s holding a nursery of stars inside his chest and their fire is barely contained.

The powerhouse performance disarms your heart, shatters it into a million little pieces. But looking around, you can see… it’s not going over quite so well on the rich upper class of Chicago. This just isn’t their style. Most of them really only came for the signed photos they plan on giving to their spoiled ass children. And he’s used to working a crowd of teenage girls who hang on his every word. You can see his confidence faltering a bit. Hear his voice backing off from attempting to hit the harder notes. By the time the two-song set ends, he barely gets out a slightly shaky ‘thank you’ to respectful applause before he’s nearly bolted off the stage.

Maybe it’s a dumb idea to walk backstage right now. To check the kitchen and then the green room and then the men’s bathroom. You’re not meant to chase the deer once it runs from the headlights. And this isn’t just a party. You’re at work.

The excuses go on and on in your head. Rationalizing. Criticizing. But your steps continue down the hotel hallway once they’ve cleared the grand ballroom. There’s only so many rooms he could’ve ducked into and most of them are locked, with signs reading ‘employees only’. Your golden, satin ballgown billows behind you as you chase his trail. You couldn’t possibly have lost him. What’d he do? Book a room upstairs and check-in before you’d even gone searching?

Finally, you reach the entrance to the hotel pool. The gym. He’s not in any of those and this is where the hallway ends…What the hell? Head foggy with confusion and stomach turning with worry, you slowly circle back. You checked every single open door, didn’t you?

Suddenly, your adrenaline sharpened focus snags on a door you hadn’t noticed before. The family bathroom closer to the lobby. It’s nearly 10pm. No one will need to use this right now. You gotta hand it to him. Kid’s a genius.

You find him sitting on the floor, shaking and sweating. Flushed and barely breathing. The sight of you seems to only make it worse and for a moment he tries hard to scramble up on his feet.

“I’m…I’m sorry, I’ll…I’ll be right…right out…” God, he must think you’re here to drag him back. Seeing how unsteady his long legs are, you reach out and grip his arms.

“Hey…” Voice soft, you fight hard to regain your balance in your heels as his weight leans into you. Left without a choice, you slowly help him back to the floor. But this time, you ensure he’s sitting against the wall.

You suffered terrible bouts of anxiety before Alec. Therapy had never worked. The pills made you feel like a walking corpse. Your husband is the only thing that had truly gotten you through. It’s one of the things any marine learns. How to deal with stress at the most inconvenient times. How to pull someone out of their own head in seconds flat. Watching Shawn break down like this, it’s like holding yourself seven years ago and all you can think is that you want to be his Alec. Biting back tears, you fight to be strong for him as you pull one shaking, pale hand up to face your own.

“Can you name your fingers as I touch them?” His eyes fall from yours, the adam’s apple in his throat bobbing as he swallows hard. He doesn’t know you. Not really. And you can see it in his eyes. The same doubt there was any hope you could truly handle this that you’d always felt. He’s honestly just hoping you’ll hurry up and get frustrated sooner rather than later. To just leave already so he can pick up these pieces on his own and not under the watchful eye of an older woman whose job is counting on him getting his shit back together. Very gently tipping his chin up so his eyes are forced back to yours, you touch your thumb to his own. “You know that, hmm? What’s the name of that finger?”

Your voice stays soft. Even and cool. Encouraging. The same river-bed voice your grandmother had used to comfort you before she’d died. Before you’d been left to fend for yourself against a manic-depressive, Oxy dependent mother. In all honesty, you’re a bit surprised. It’s been so long since your grandmother died and you had no idea you’d picked up the ability before now.

Slowly getting the breath back in his lungs, Shawn’s eyes find your hand and his. Seems to realize for the first time that he’s touching you.

“…Thumb…”

A smile tugs at your mouth and you cup his cheek.

“Good. That’s so good.” Your pointer fingertip touches his own. “And this one?”

“P-pointer…” You nod and he follows each careful touch with a soft murmur. “Ring …index …p-pinky.”

Finding yourself proud of the boy, you flash him a smile. Lean to brush a kiss to his sweating temple. You can’t help but notice that his pupils, blown out a moment earlier, seem to be shrinking again. A good sign that he’s calming.

“That’s really good, love.” Shifting to sit down properly, you twine your fingers through his, hoping to give him an anchor. “Can you tell me the color of my dress?”

He glances over. Swallows again. This one takes a little longer as his eyes trace the lines of the dress. He’s not stuck on the color. You can tell. He’s just trying to swim through a head flooded with adrenaline.

“Gold?”

“Mmhmm.” Squeezing his hand, you nod. “Close your eyes, sweetheart. Count three things you can hear.”

Resting his head back against the cool tile, he does as he’s told. Squeezes your hand after a moment to make sure you’re still there. Then finally focuses.

“H-hum of the AC…running water in the next bathroom…Phil Collins.” You both laugh softly at that. He’s not wrong. The hotel’s lobby loudspeaker system seems to reach even in here and you notice the song too now he’s said it.

Resting your own head back against the tile as well, you sing along softly under your breath. It’s not long before he’s doing the same, the distraction seeming to help.

You can tell from the lines on her face You can see that she’s been there Probably been moved on from every place Cause she didn’t fit in there Oh, think twice, 'cause another day For you and me in paradise

Turning to glance at him, you realize then there’s no getting him back into that ballroom. And honestly, you wouldn’t even want to. A switch in you has flipped. Work can wait. The influential elite of the city you’re trying to conquer can go fuck themselves. Nothing matters more to you right now than looking after him. You couldn’t explain where the all-consuming black hole came from. Or how it suddenly ripped open inside of you. It’s just there, undeniable and inescapable.

“Do you have anywhere you need to be, love?”

He shakes his head. Yawns and scoots closer. Suddenly, you wish he wasn’t so much bigger than yourself. Wish he was just the scared four-year old he looks like right now and you could scoop him up and wrap him in a blanket.

“Do you wanna get out of here?” You realize how it sounds the moment it jumps out of your lips. You’re sure a hundred girls must proposition him every day. Scared to freak him out further, you squeeze his hand and slowly help tug him up. “Just…you know, some food. A guest bed. Maybe just a few hours away from being ‘Shawn Mendes’?”

He gets through an eager nod and you help him over to the sink.

“Mmk, why don’t you wash some cold water over your face, love? I’ll grab my things ‘n meet you in the back lot.”

It’s only as you’re turning to go that he works up any words.

“Holland? I…Thank you…” Leaning against the sink, his sweaty curls fall into his eyes. Slowly, he’s starting to look less like a lost child and more like himself again.

“You’re welcome, honey.” Your smile is soft, but full of warmth. You know exactly what he just went through. And to know you helped him pull out of that collapsing star makes you feel like the hero in a fairytale. The storybook princess who just saved the prince. “I’ll be right back for you.”

“I’ll be waiting.”

///

“I know, baby…I know that…” Swallowing, you push away from the cement barrier of the rooftop. Rub at your forehead a bit as your manicured feet pace tiredly across the cement floor. “I’m sorry. I never meant to be vague or cryptic. I just meant…I can’t leave him for you. I can’t be what you need. I’m not good for you.”

“That’s not up to you.” He insists stubbornly.

“But it is. I’m seven years older than you, Shawn. It’s on me to make that call.”

“That is such bullshit, and you know it. I’ve been fucking…forced to grow up way faster than anyone else I know from the moment I stepped into Hollywood. I’ve been making more money than my parents since I was sixteen. I’ve been on tour since I was seventeen. And I haven’t stopped. I always fucking show up. Even when I feel like I’m walking around in a fucking corpse. I always do what has to be done. I always will. Do not tell me I don’t understand what I’m saying. My body is twenty years old. I’m not.”

Silence follows as his words sink like stones in the river of your bloodstream. You can’t argue with him there. It’s not fair for him to be forced into the responsibilities of an adult, only then to be treated like a child.

And the truth is… either way, you haven’t quite figured out how to truly deny him anyway.

“Text me the details of where you’ll be staying when you get here, yeah? I’ll…sort an excuse.”

“Well, you better pack a pretty big bag. ‘Cause once I have you, I’m not letting you go again.”

Shaking your head a how drunk he is, you laugh softly.

“Baby, please get some sleep, hmm? For me?”

“Mm mm. Stay on the phooone.”

God damnit. That pouty little baby voice is always so unfair. Sighing heavily, you consider threatening him playfully. Teasing that you’ll fly with Alec to New York next week if he doesn’t take care of himself. But that means you’d actually have to hang up.

“If I stay on the phone, you have to drink some water. And lay down. Promise?”

“…You’re really gunna let me see you next week?”

“Course, honey. Wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it.”

Yawning deeply, you can all but hear him nod as his voice finally gives in to his body’s exhaustion. The wind interference clears as he heads back into his suite. A sigh of relief loosens from your chest. You’re never crazy about him being outside and up that high when he’s so drunk.

“Mmk…water ‘n down.”

“Good, baby. That’s good… I love you, hmm?” Switching on your rooftop firepit, you slouch down into the armchair that gives you the best view of Lake Michigan in the moonlight. You’ll stay up as long he needs you to. Even if that’s sunrise.

“I love you too, Holls… only you.”

#shawn mendes army #shawn mendes fic #shawn mendes imagine #imagine shawn mendes #shawn mendes #my writing.#my graphics.#c: holland bryant #story: city and ghost

29 notes · View notes

fanfictionized · 6 years ago

Text

Help Me Help You - A Little Bit Of Bucky In My Life (20/?)

Character: Bucky Barnes x Enhanced!Reader / OFC

Chapter summary: Bucky doesn't know how to face his feelings for the new girl and so he thinks that ignoring her would distract his mind. Doesn't really help, tho.

Meanwhile Annabelle gets wind of what the man truly used to be, leaving the final question open for her to find out...

Warnings: none

Words: 2.2k

Previous Chapter // Help Me Help You - Masterlist

“Hey, Bucky! Hold on.” Abbie shouted his name, racing down the stairs as she spotted him in the living area, ready to leave the tower for a quick run to the grocery with Steve.They both turned, seeing her struggling to get down as quickly as possible, thanks to the fuzzy socks on her feet.

Of cause she’s wearing fuzzy socks, Bucky thought.“I’ve got one more thing to put on your list.” She breathed once she stood in front of them in her shorts and long-sleeved shirt.

She looked like she did the first time Bucky saw her. Well, the second… third time…

The

first

time she had been herself again. Eating that dry toast while staring at him with wide, frightened eyes and sunken cheeks.But not anymore. So much had changed within the last…

already a freaking month

of her being here with him. Them.

Her face had finally gotten its old shape back. Her body as well.

There were no more bones sticking out harshly, reminding not only herself of how badly she’d been abused.

Her skin had a nice, vibrant tone to it. Evidence of how she had truly discovered the rooftop for herself during sunny afternoons, especially while helping out Bruce gardening the small strip of roof garden that Tony had installed there along with a cozy corner where people would gather to watch a movie on the installable projector screen.

Weirdly, she saw no one ever using it. Especially now, during the summer time.

She had to look into that.But until then she just continued gardening with Bruce. She enjoyed his presence. But also she enjoyed mocking him for his

green thumb.

He didn’t mind.

“Here.” She pressed another small piece of paper into Bucky’s hand.

He thought of how the last time she had touched his hand she had left a brand mark on his skin. He knew they haven’t touched since because in that moment he felt it again for the first time since then.

A sharp tingle, yet not uncomfortable.

“You’ll… find it in the, uhm, beauty section…? I think?” She said meekly, an insecure smile on her lips. Bucky looked at her and then back on the paper.

“What do you need it for?”

“Well” She sighed “Tony said I could only go out with an Avenger and a disguise.”

She chuckled nervously “And I really need to get out of here. No offense. I just need some…”“Space?” Bucky asked, one brow raised. First of all; he didn’t like the idea of her already going out. Even if it was with an Avenger for protection.

Second; Why did she need space? They haven’t talked since two days ago, yet somehow he thought it was his fault. Was he being too pushy? Ignoring her personal space?

Or maybe she didn’t like hanging out with him after all….

“It sounds mean when I say it like that…”

“No, it’s alright.” Steve said with a chuckle.

“I get it. This is like a living community and once in a while you just need a little bit of distance from it, right Buck?”He grunted a response, an unintelligible mumbling. Steve pursed his lips as he looked back at him.

“Right… don’t worry we’ll get it for you, Anna.” “Thanks, Steve.” She said, still looking over at Buck in confusion before heading back for her room.

***

“So, what was that about?” Steve asked his friend as they stepped out of the building.

Bucky simply pulled the hood over his head, put his hands in its pockets and shrugged.

“Oh, come on, Buck. Don’t you think I know when you’re angry?” He said as they walked along the street. Steve was only wearing a cap. A cap for the Cap. People were still staring. He felt like they all stared at him, though. Like they

knew…

But of cause they didn’t. Because there was Captain America walking right beside him.“I’m not angry, Steve.”

“Yeah, right.” He scoffed.

“I’m serious.” It was way too hot under that hood and the scorching sun, so he pulled it off. He only needed his arm to be covered anyway.

“It’s just-” He sighed, looking up at the sky.“It’s about Anna, isn’t it?”

The question took him by surprise, although it was.“What? No…” Steve cocked a brow at him.

“It’s okay, I’ve seen you take care of her. It’s good that she has someone like that, you know?”Bucky gulped and he cursed himself for the way his cheeks heated up way too quickly. He had nothing to hide so why the fuck was he making this harder for himself? Acting like he did?

Perhaps he should put the hood back on…“Whatever you say.”

Steve scoffed. “Hey, man. All I’m saying is that you’re good for her.”

His head whirled back at him, gaze completely horrified.

“Don’t fucking say that.” He mumbled perplexedly.

“And she’s good for you, Buck.” He looked away at that, not saying anything while they walked into the next drugstore.

He instinctively avoided the cameras, having already spotted them.“I just don’t want her going out when the case is still on-going, s‘all.” He muttered, face still facing the ground as they strolled through the isles, picking up the necessities.

Tooth-brushes, razors, toilet paper… and whatever was on Abbie’s list.

“You can’t keep her locked up in the tower forever.” Steve said, eyeing the bottle of shampoo in his hand.

“Perhaps you should go out with her.”Bucky almost choked on his own spit.

“Do what?”

“Yeah. Go out. Take her to the ice-cream parlor, to the mall or something. It doesn’t have to be something big, just a public place. She’ll be happy about it.” He patted his arm, smiling at him. That guy really was something.

“Sure, I-I can do that, I guess.” He was acting like that idea wasn’t making his heart race and he was seriously starting to worry about that.

“Hm.” Steve picked up the last thing on their list. Her list.

“Are you sure that’s what she wanted us to get?” He furrowed his brows at him as he turned around with the product in his hand. Bucky shrugged and held his hands up in defense.

“Hey, don’t ask me. I know just as much as you do.” He said, eyes wide.“Well, okay then…” He shrugged as well and put it into the basket as well.“Let’s see how it looks on her.”

***

“Wow, okay.” Wanda said and smiled at her as she sat on her bed, cross-legged.

“Yes, it’s definitely something more Dakota Fanning-like, no?” She asked as she looked her over.

“It’s just another hair color. Nothing world-changing.” She rolled her eyes as she sat down next to her, playing with her platinum-blonde strands.

“Also, Tony said that if I wanted to go out I needed protection and a disguise, so… voila.”

She grinned and threw it back. She actually kind of really liked it.

It suited her, made the brightness of her eyes pop.

“It looks good on you.” She said and poked her side, making her squeal.

“I’m probably not the only one who said it.” She grinned at her mischievously.Annabelle halted, tilting her head to the side.

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, come on, Anna.” She laughed “Don’t tell me you don’t enjoy having that blue-eyed soldat jump around you all day.”

Her mouth fell open with silent laughter as she felt the heat rise to her cheeks.

“Oh. My god!” She giggled as she covered her face with her hands, shaking her head from side to side.

Wanda laughed at that.

“I knew it!”

“Don’t you dare!” Annabelle stifled a laugh, trying her best at looking at her seriously, but failing miserably.

“You are no one to talk! I’ve seen you and Vision.” She sat up straight in bed, imitating her lover’s voice.

“Oh, Wanda. There you are. Oh, Wanda, I’m so glad to see you. Are you sure you want to be alone right now?”Her eyes went wide in shock

“What! NO!” She yelled and Annabelle pressed a hand against her mouth, both of them giggling. It felt good to do something as normal as acting like school-girls talking about their crushes.

But that wasn’t what was happening.

was it…?

“I just enjoy his presence, is all.” Wanda tried to explain herself, actively avoiding eye contact with her.

“Uh-huh.” Annabelle grinned.

“Oh, shut up. I know Bucky likes you and you sure as hell like him, too.”

She threw her hair back as well, trying to mimic her.

“I’m Anna and I don’t have a dog, I have something better. How about a Hydra assassin who doesn’t talk, but will kill you if you talk to me?” She giggled and Annabelle replied an instant ‘shut up’, before the meaning behind her words hit her.

“Wait… he was an assassin?”

Wanda’s smile faded from her lips and she blinked at her for a few times.

“I mean… yes. Didn’t he- didn’t he tell you?” She asked her perplexedly.

“No… he didn’t.” She stammered. Her heart rate picked up, an uneasy feeling settling inside her stomach.

“I mean I guessed that it had to be something like that… he told me he had a troubled past, but I thought…” She shook her head in disbelief “I thought he hadn’t wanted to work for Hydra, that he was…” She sighed “I don’t know. More like me, I guess.”

“But… Anna, he didn’t want to work for them.” She tried to explain “He was not… himself when Hydra took him in.”

“What do you mean?”

Wanda hesitated, looking around the room in panic. Annabelle looked back over her shoulder and then back at her again.

“Wanda.” She said seriously “What are you talking about?”

She was clearly struggling to find the right words to explain this.

“Listen, I really don’t think that I should be the one to tell you this, it’s very personal. Why don’t you ask him?” She said hesitantly.

“But, I’ve already tried talking about him. He’ll tell me about how he grew up with Steve, what his childhood was like…” Realization hit her.

“But never about what happened after the war…”

Wanda looked at her knowingly “Exactly…”

“But… he said he had been frozen, too. Does- Doesn’t that mean Steve and him went down in the plane together?”

She had remembered their conversation and later that day she had looked Steve up online. There was everything about him, the crash and all that, but she had found nothing on

James Buchanan Barnes.

“Well” Wanda was fidgeting on the spot “He was frozen, that much is true…”Anna’s look had changed from confusion to worry.

“Please, Wanda. I need to know.” She begged her friend “I know nothing about him. Not what matters most. I need to know what happened, or I don’t think I’ll be able to trust him anymore.”

That was a lie. She trusted him.

But she needed to know anyway. It was sick to think so selfishly, she knew that. But she always guessed, but never truly knew; if he knew her suffering. If he understood what she had been through.

It was seriously fucked up, but she needed to know what Hydra had done to him.

She was haunted by the fact that everyone looked at her as the fucking victim.

Wanda and Nat, they had both chosen that life. They had both decided for themselves. And it killed her, knowing that she didn’t have that choice. That everything she had done in her life had eventually lead up to it being completely destroyed by those bastards.

She couldn’t handle it anymore. And as god-awful as that sounded; she wouldn’t feel better if it had actually happened to anyone else, but it would tell her that it

hadn’t. Been. Her. Fault.

That she was not alone.She stared at her for a long couple of seconds before she finally gave in.

“Okay, listen. I still can’t tell you, but after Bucky came here, just like… four months ago, Steve told me he got a favor from Natasha. He asked her to get Bucky’s file out of Hydra’s system. Once and for all.” She sighed, rubbing her temple “And as I know Steve, he would only trust himself to keep it safe. So I guess he has it hidden in his room somewhere.”Annabelle gulped, but nodded her head.

“You’ll find everything you want to know in there.”

“Thank you, Wanda. Thank you.” She breathed and pressed a kiss to the girl’s cheek.

“Yes, yes. And don’t you dare tell them you got the idea from me.” Annabelle jumped off the bed, moving her wavy hair behind her ears as she shook her head.

“I won’t. Thank you so much. I owe you one.”

She told her as she stormed out of her room.“Yes, you do!”

Next Chapter

Taglist:

@humanexile @alt-er-love-er-alt @sam-jae

#slow burn #Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky is not a villain #Bucky's metal arm #Eventual romance #eventual smut #eventual fluff #fanfiction #fanfic

5 notes · View notes

kaeyazuha · 3 years ago

Note

hello hello Ky! ♡♡

ofc! you're never a bother, if that's what you're worried about. it's okay to feel hurt, and It's more than okay to get it off your chest and seek comfort/support. you deserve it, and i'm glad you can open up, even if it's just a little. C:

and i'll try, thank you. i went outside and saw the sun for the first time in months today, so that's something.

nohooo, poor boy felt betrayed by zhongli and the traveler (at first at least) and now it's his own deity ? get behind me fatooey-harbinger-codename-childe >:'(

okay, so. let's make some happy theories - i know it's hard with genshin, but hear me out - so that they'll come true and everyone reconciles and gets better ? but on a more serious note, do you have any theory about dain, kaeya's identity and khaenri'ah ? or anything tbh, i'll take it all

hohoho that remind me of when venti got drunk and poured wine all over morax's head at a god-reunion (??). he chose the wrong archon to mess with and it's so funny. but, he really fits the theme of "freedom" and that's good. we needed venti to be created by mhy, the world is a better place now.

welllll,,, there are rumors about a scaramouche boss fight in sumeru, so we might finally get some information about this little guy ? just crumbs would be enough tbh.

haha, i'm just really afraid my asks might not make sense. are they readable enough ? maybe i should add a " • " before every paragraph, if you want.

anyway, have a good weekend! hope you'll enjoy it Ky! rest well, i love you too!! sending you lots of hugs and love!! ♡♡

- 🦊

you're so sweet istg- And that's great! A big step, if you ask me, I loathe going outside because of all the allergens rn </3

I doubt anything will happen to him...at least for another two or three updates...childe pls run that's plenty of time, we'll make sure nobody finds you--

I'll put this under the cut since it's kinda long HAHA-

EHE well, not really, actually. I feel that Kaeya is still masking a MAJOR part of himself. I mean come on; Khaenri'an, canonically really strong, mastered his vision in a day, but he's a starter 4-star character? No way. That and his passive, 20% reduced sprinting stamina, is called "hidden strength." Along with some of his stories and constellation names, it heavily hints to Kaeya hiding his real strength.

About Khaenri'ah, I don't have any major theories, but I do have a guess. If you compare the architecture from Enkanomiya, some areas in underground Inazuma (tsurumi, seirai, etc), and the Chasm's underground city, they all have the same architecture. I believe all these cities were connected in some way, like one massive nation with miniature cities. Khaenri'ah was just one of them, but it stood out because of Rhinedottier's screwing around with the Art of Khemia.

Though, it looks like they had different languages? Kinda like Liyue and Mondstadt, the writing looks similar, but it's clearly different. If you compare the random phrases around the chasm to the shape of Khaenri'ah's alphabet, it looks pretty similar. However, I can't translate any of the phrases in the Chasm since it's not in a known language. Except- the letter we get after getting nine orbs from the husks (THAT HAVE VERY CONCERNING BUT VERY COOL PHRASES), that's in Khaenri'an. And apparently? Each traveler- like you, me, random people- get a different line of the poem. Mihoyo is purposefully feeding the lore community bits and pieces idk if it's to tease or see if we can figure things out, but it's ANNOYING ME-

HOLD ON. HE DID WHAT? When? Venti you- I- no words, I can't defend him anymore. And yeah, I heard about that- boss fight likely means one of two things. He's dead, or we just beat him like Childe. I feel like this is gonna be a Signora and Sara situation. We figure out Childe's in danger, we go after Childe and he's pretty much dead, Traveler gets pissed and duels Scara, BUT whether he lives or dies, no idea. But with Scara likely means more gnosis lore, finally.

Your asks are structured perfectly, no worries! I can read it just fine, but it's kind of you to ask <3

Have a nice day, my love, thanks for being here!

#kycasual #kyplaysgenshin #oh gods it's 2:36AM i have so much to do soigjusigiuje #🦊 anon <3

0 notes

meggannn · 6 years ago

Note

character meme thing for lydia: 4, 7 (outside of the kid in canon, like if u could control the nightmares what would they be), 19, 35, 36

4. Has your character ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know?

hm you mean aside from the beacon? lol I think there were maybe 2-3 mental “turning points” for Lydia in the sense that she could partition her life into sections of “before” and “after” around them, if that makes sense.

the gang war on earth is one – it killed her sister and is what (finally) convinced her to leave the gang. after seeing what she did and realizing she had been a part of it, it was sort of her come to jesus moment. she realized if she kept on like this she was either gonna be dead or in jail by the time she turned 20

the beacon is another

the leviathan was a big one. shepard deals with a lot of mind-twisting shit over the years, but something about meeting the leviathan face-to-face really shakes her. it’s not fear, exactly, but it unsettles what she knows about the universe.

most people she’s close to know about the beacon and leviathan. only anderson knows about the gang war.

7. Does your character have recurring themes in their nightmares?/Outside of the kid in canon, if you could control the nightmares what would they be?

drowning/lost floating in deep space – it’s not exactly about asphyxiation, though that is a part of it, but it’s also about helplessness/being surrounded by nothingness. for a character like shepard who is all about the action, they know “calm/quiet" does not always mean “peace/happiness”

after the leviathan, there’s a dream about being trapped under the sea with that thing for all eternity while the galaxy burns over and over again

i kind of like the forest nightmares as an idea. i just wouldn’t have done it that way in canon, but my way is a little genre-specific just cause i like reading horror stories. i’d make the forest nightmares more about suspenseful horror, instead of vague confusion and some whispers

19. What is your character’s biggest relationship flaw? Has this flaw destroyed relationships for them before?

you and i have already talked about this hahahha. it’s definitely emotional constipation, which is like saying “space is kind of big.” she knows her strengths and weaknesses, which is very different from knowing her emotions; likewise she knows how important friendship and trust is, which is very different from being mentally stable enough to open her mouth and say “i love you” to another person. lydia also sees no problem nosing into someone else’s life to solve their problems but the first time someone asks if she’s okay, they’re met with a brick wall. probably has something to do with not growing up in a stable environment, not really understanding the word “family,” and being resurrected by a terrorist group and forcing herself out of habit to put on mental blinders just to do her job and keep putting one foot in front of the other most days in ME2. talk to chambers? there’s a cerberus AI in the walls, she lost two years and is now known as an enemy to the state, she’s got foreign tech in her skull, and you want her to spill her guts to the woman the illusive man is paying to provide him with updates on her mental health? are you fucking nuts? (by me3, it’s less paranoia and more just habit. i got those thermal pipes you asked me for. i’m fine. stop asking me that. what else do you need.)

has it destroyed relationships for her, no, but it has put them to the test. most of the crew understands lydia is unique and they can be the first to reach out and extend, and they don’t mind shepard not extending back because i think they’re all emotionally mature enough to know she’s still grateful – liara, tali, even samara and cortez, i think. meanwhile, my vision of garrus is not one of a guy who is very emotionally forthcoming either, so getting these two together, in a room, while facing each other, to admit that they like each other, out loud, took a long time and a lot of mental gymnastic on my part. the thing is that ofc with the canon shepard/garrus romance, shepard makes the first move because, as is my interpretation, garrus is absolutely clueless when it comes to romance. but lydia is clueless too, so even when they’re finally “together,” the both of them still feel… lonely is not the right word, but for a long while, certainly after the war, they’re serious about it but still questioning what they mean to the other. but you’re not talking to two normal people, so someone like garrus… yeah, he can recognize when shepard’s stressed, when she really wants to be alone vs when she’s just putting up a front, but he’s still got some of his own identity issues that affect his confidence in reading her subtler emotions, like her gratitude. if that makes sense. (not that it’s not on her to also be more forthcoming with things like that as well.)

35. How does your character behave around people they like?

for the not-crew? well for a while they probably wouldn’t know it if she liked them, looool keeping along with the image of “this is what a good soldier does,” she probably doesn’t reach out or react first, just treats whoever they are like normal, until one day maybe she makes a joke she knows that person will enjoy while they’re in earshot, and that’s like. ‘oh, that was meant for me? shepard actually has a sense of humor?’

keeping in mind that lydia did most of her emotional growing up while in a gang, and most of her mental/adult growing up/re-imaging while in the military from ages 18-21, which is a unique situation and gave her a very intense, extreme standard of human emotions. that’s not to say she doesn’t talk or interact normally, but just, she knows she’s not normal and for a long time is content to not get close to anyone.

36. How does your character behave around people they dislike?

she’s the kind of person to smile when she’s angry. not in a mocking or sarcastic way, just kind of, to herself, a sort of, “keep it together, smile, do not explode in front of these cameras.” about how she doesn’t know her own emotions – i don’t think she’s childish, exactly, but when she’s really mad, enough to make her lose her temper, it’s noteworthy since it’s a huge break from the brick wall of professionalism she puts on for the public. (i think this changes around the time of ME3 aka Stress City, but mostly thinking ME1 here.)

character questions: hard mode

#lydia shepard #keelificent #askbox

2 notes · View notes

lifeisjustanotherstory · 6 years ago

Text

W/c 28th January - a week in anecdotes and not-shower shower thoughts (pt 1)

Monday

Even if Nick doesn’t remember my name, he still remembers where I live. I went to a shopping centre relatively close to my house (at least closer for me than most people) and he remembered that!

He mentioned one of the activities that his daughters had got up to at the weekend, which reminded me of “Digital Fortress” by Dan Brown, and I told him as much. Turns out one of his daughters had read that book recently and was thus able to solve one of the clues! It’s nice that other people know I read, even if he doesn’t have that high an opinion of Dan Brown books. (But at least he did admit they were entertaining.)

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Headed to the lift and saw a guy giving me an odd look. He wasn’t brazenly staring, but he wasn’t far from it, either. Once the lift doors closed, his curiosity became too much.

“How are you working here? Why? You’re clearly too young”. I laughed it off, what else could I do?

“I’m 21 actually. And I don’t work here, I’m with the auditors.” He laughed. He had thought I was 16 - “and trust me, that’s a compliment.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

When I asked him how his weekend was, I never expected Emanuel to tell me that he went snowboarding for the first time. No one in the UK actually expands on that more than a “good, how was yours?”. Does…does he think we’re friends now?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Shaunna said I could leave at 6pm, bless that woman. You don’t need to tell me twice.

*******************************************************************************************

Tuesday

Of COURSE I overslept on the one day that I had arranged an early morning call. But that extra 40 mins of sleep was worth it, and definitely beats the 25 mins of idle “wtf do I do then” I would have had at work.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Jits enquired if I had had an extra snooze this morning. I responded with “yes, a lie-in till 6:15am.”. Hope I didn’t come off as too sassy. Nick then asked me how it was, waking up on weekends. And I’m still up early, 7-ish, as is Nick. Body clocks are great (the consensus we reached…).

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Was in the middle of eating my breakfast when Shaunna asked me to join her and Tom for a catchup. Took my food with me, as I’d just heated it. Moments before, I had just answered Ahmed and Sahil’s questions about what I was eating. Mid-meeting, I was caught unaware with Tom and Shaunna did the same.

“Okay, now before we continue, what are you eating?” Shaunna gestured towards my food, and she and Tom looked on as I explained. “I’ve seen you and wanted to ask all this time.” I explained what it was; South Indian food - savoury doughnuts, rice dumpling and coriander chutney. I offered to bring them some at the end of the audit. The offer’s still on the table.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Cameron keeps biting his nails, and I am being successful in not letting it put me off.

*Mostly.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Listening to the intro of “Complicated” by Avril Lavigne; does anyone even say ‘crash the mall’ anymore??

*******************************************************************************************

Wednesday

Found a shirt on my first attempt a mere 20 minutes after thinking about it. Now where are my sunglasses??

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Red coat man!! He got on my Tube. I’ve always wondered where he gets off, and by chance he’s happened to get the same connecting train as me.

He disembarks at Barbican.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I’m not the earliest junior member of the team anymore!! That accolade goes to Shaheen now. She gets on the train at 5:50. Bloody hell.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It’s Wednesday. And that means a team snack run. Matt H and Ahmed are given the task of going to get the food; I’m going to come out of this busy season having consumed more biltong and chocolate rounds biscuits in 3 months than I did in 20 years.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Am I right in detecting a little friction between Tom and Shaunna? Shaunna has more general experience but Tom was on the team last year. The work delays aren’t helping. I’m still not sure…but at least they’re both happy with me :’)

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“Absolute scenes” is apparently the best way that Sahil can use to describe me eating chicken mcnuggets and fries at 5pm.

Matt G asked me how I’m enjoying my pigeon nuggets -_- .

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Shaunna is letting me leave at 6pm again. While I love being able to leave early, I can also see all of the work piling up (figuratively) in my peripheral vision…

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Thought 3 carriages was a bit of a squeeze, but there’s actually only two on the train home. People by the doors and in the vestibules are packed in like sardines in a tin.

I’ve never actually seen sardines in a tin.

*******************************************************************************************

Thursday

Jits was doing a quiz this morning, and asked which country bordered the Dominican Republic. Amy said Haiti, but he said no. And then I was SURE that it was, that Amy was right, and I said so myself. Turns out we were right after all, and he grudgingly said thanks afterwards.

They also talked about Trinidad and Tobago, and I mentioned I used to live there. Jasper asked me why we moved here. Looking outside at the foggy London (ignoring the iconic skyline ofc), you do wonder…

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

A couple of days ago Matt G had tried to say Aytaj’s surname but failed (miserably). So I took it upon myself to try today. I asked her to say it, thinking I could imitate her, but she turned it back on me and told me to go first.

It took me less than ten (-_-) tries but I finally got it correct. Even if she found it weird, she didn’t show it, and gently corrected me when I didn’t get the sound right, or was placing emphasis on the wrong ‘l’. That was sweet of her.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I decided to get KFC for the way home - the literal way home, as I ended up disposing of the remains at my home station. There I was, chewing meat off the bone on the Tube platform. Of course, I didn’t look the professional picture and really hoped that I wouldn’t happen to see anyone I knew…

And I did. Will works at the same company as me and I only know him from seeing around the office. Oh, and he used to secretly date one of my friends. He didn’t give me a second glance.

So, it was someone I knew. But they didn’t know me :P

#pieces of mind #a week in anecdotes

0 notes