#happy birthday here is a painting of myself that i had done

[captainzigo]

my pfp was not made by me. it was made by at least one of the mlp animators because this masterpiece was hanging in starlight’s bedroom.

[howlingday]

The Imposter

Imposter syndrome (IS) is a behavioral health phenomenon described as self-doubt of intellect, skills, or accomplishments among high-achieving individuals. These individuals cannot internalize their success and subsequently experience pervasive feelings of self-doubt, anxiety, depression, and/or apprehension of being exposed as a fraud in their work, despite verifiable and objective evidence of their successfulness. - National Institute of Health

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1 - The Perfectionist

Coco: Nice work, "senior huntsman!"

Jaune: Oh, uh, thanks, Coco.

Coco: I still remember watching you in your first year, no landing strategy except hope ol' P-Nikos snagged you from the air!

Jaune: Er, yeah.

Coco: Hey, why so glum, Arc? What, not satisfied with making it to the big leagues like me~?

Jaune: Well... No, not really. I mean, I didn't earn it like you did. In fact, on my last mission, I literally dropped the package from the Bullhead, and broke one of the ration boxes.

Coco: Yeah, we really need to get sturdier ration boxes. But hey, you got the rest there safely, right? That means something, doesn't it?

Jaune: Well...

Coco: Believe me, pal, (Lowers sunglasses) if anyone deserves to be up here as a senior, it's you.

Jaune: ...Thanks, Coco.

--------------------------------------------------

2 - The Prodigy

Ruby: Aw, man...

Sun: Hey, Ruby! What's- Whoa! (Covers nose) Did you make that?

Ruby: Yeah... I was trying to mix some material like Weiss does, but I couldn't get it.

Sun: How many times have you done this before?

Ruby: This was my first time.

Sun: Well, practice makes perfect, right?

Ruby: But I'm supposed to be already good at this. Everything else I could do on the first try, but this...

Sun: Well, I doubt EVERY time you tried something you got it on the first try, right?

Ruby: Well...

Sun: What, were you decapitating Nevermores and turning Leviathans to stone since diapers?

Ruby: No, but-

Sun: Ah, ah! Nope! Practice makes perfect! I just said that. Which means that sometimes things like this just take time! Look at me! You think I'm as awesome as I am because I was born like this?

Ruby: Uh...

Sun: ...The answer is no. I had to work to get like this! The only thing I didn't have to work for was this pretty face~.

Ruby: Uh-huh... (Giggles) Thanks, Sun.

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3 - The Superhuman

Ren: Everything okay in here, Jaune?

Jaune: Yup! Everything- No! Ack! Everything's fine!

Ren: The oven is smoking.

Jaune: Is it?! Oh no! Ruby's cookies! (Hurries)

Ren: JAUNE! (Catches falling mug and plate) Jaune, what is going on?

Jaune: (Turning off the oven) Well- (Coughs) Ruby said she was feeling kinda down, so I decided to bake some cookies for her. (Pulls tray) Then I remembered Weiss' birthday is tomorrow, so I decided to buy her a mug and then paint it. (Opens window) Then I remembered Blake asked me to help her find that fancy plate her mom was looking for. And Yang-

Ren: Stop. (Sets things down) That's three people already. And two of them don't need this much attention. Why are you doing all of this?

Jaune: Because I said I would, Ren, and if I don't keep my promises, then I'm not a good friend, and if I'm not a good friend, then what am I, then?

Ren: Just one person. (Hand on shoulder) Call me crazy, but I don't think Team RWBY want you to burn down your kitchen- our kitchen -while trying to make them happy. If need be, you can ask for help.

Jaune: But-

Ren: Jaune. You are my friend. You said it yourself; what kind of person am I if I'm not a good friend?

Jaune: ...You're right. (Sighs) Thanks, Ren. By the way, did you use your semblance on me?

Ren: Only a little.

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4 - The Soloist

Yang: Hey, Rubes! Need some help?

Ruby: (Pulling a wagon uphill) I'm... fine...

Yang: You sure? You don't look much like the wagon-pulling type.

Ruby: I can do this. If I can fight the Grimm by myself, I can pull a wagon by myself.

Yang: I... don't think those two really match up.

Ruby: I said... I... can... do... thi- WHOA! (Trips) OH NO! THE ...Huh?

Yang: (Holding the wagon) I got it! So... Mind telling me why you suddenly think you can do everything alone?

Ruby: Because... Because I have to. Everyone is counting on me, and if I can't do it alone-

Yang: Then you ask for help. C'mon, Rubes! We've literally been together through this thing from the start. I didn't make it this far without you, and, well, I like to think you couldn't have made it this far without me.

Ruby: Thanks...

Yang: ...So, uh, could you help me get this wagon up the hill? You're not gonna ask me for help, so I might as well ask you.

Ruby: ... (Scoffs) Okay, yeah. And Yang? (Pushes) Thanks...

Yang: Anytime, Rubes!

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5 - The Expert

Jaune: ...

Ruby: ...

Jaune: I... don't know.

Ruby: N-Neither do I...

Jaune: Wait, you don't know either?

Ruby: Why would I know? You should know!

Jaune: No, I- You grew up with this stuff, so I thought you would know!

Ruby: Well, you're better at this stuff than me, so I thought you would know!

Jaune: (Sighs) I didn't want to do this, but... Oz? Do you know?

Ozpin: Lightning dust is yellow, Mr. Arc.

Jaune: I thought it was blue.

Ruby: I thought it was white! Like, yellow lightning? When was the last time you saw that?

Jaune: Right? Every time I saw electricity, it was always blue!

Ozpin: If it's any consolation, I originally thought it was red. It took years of trial and error to figure out what color applied to which dust element.

Ruby: Thanks, but...

Jaune: It doesn't change the fact that we're both still failures...

Ozpin: Neither of you are failures. Hardly so! Ms. Rose, you have achieved a status as a symbol of hope for the people of Remnant, a task I was unable to achieve in my countless centuries of existence! And you, Mr. Arc, have been through the worst of what this, and other worlds, have to offer, and you have survived and thrived! Though you both have faced your own, personal sets of hardship, and undoubtedly are likely to face much greater challenges ahead, both of you have made so far as to become true heroes of Remnant. And I hope you never forget that.

Jaune: ...Thanks, Oz.

Ruby: Yeah, thanks, Mr. Ozpin.

Ozpin: Happy to help! Now, on to question 2 of Beginner's Guide to Dust...

[rjshope]

gifmaker / cc wrapped 2024!

I was tagged by most beloveds @raplinenthusiasts @cosmicdreamgrl @jkvjimin @cordiallyfuturedwight @yooboobies @taehyunghobi and @jinstronaut(thank you guys🖤��) to share my most popular posts and my favorite ones.

Let's go!

january:

⟡ Yoongi with painted hands // he's cute here no arguments from me ♡ adorkable namgi // lol ♡ that Namjoon live // i'm still recovering btw

february:

⟡ happy Hope on the street♡ rapline saving Jin // i love how you can see their personalities here ♡ Jimin as the cutest dinosaur ever // esp soft for this one

march:

⟡ thank you fo being my artist Jimin live // he said very important thing here ♡ namjin bickering (+Hobi enjoying the show) // i live for bickering namjin ♡ Hobi being Yoongi's favorite seat // yoongi never beating lil meow meow allegations

april:

⟡ Tae and his big brown eyes // y'all just couldn't resist him could you?😁 ♡ that Malta Namjoon // despite the fact that this is my least fav bv season i have a soft spot for this gifset ♡ Dimple gifset for Kayla's birthday // very special work for my very special person🌷

may:

⟡ vibing Namjoon // lmao this is just two simplest b&w gifs and what have y'all done??? 🙈🙈 ♡ namjin laughing // luv my soft boys ♡ Nuts MV // i'm just a weak woman what do you want from me

june:

⟡ SYS Final Kim Taehyung // i'm happy with it, i love this gifset very much <3 ♡ hyung line dynamic in a nutshell // they never fail to crack me up lmao ♡ laughing namgi // so wholesome i love them so much!

july:

⟡ Jin being a good infuence on Namjoon pt.2 // i carried the thought of this gifset in my head for two years, it displays perfectly why these two are so important to me and it's nice to see this post being so appreciated ♡ Hobi being handsome to infinity and beyond // i'm still lost for words you know ♡ Tae gifset for Annie's birthday // this one is very important to me bc it took a lot of my time, blood and sweat to make it, and seeing it floped breaks my heart. Well at least Annie liked it, that's the most important thing. ♡ namjin "revenge is sweet" gifset // if you hear someone making weird evil giggling noises that's me

august:

⟡ jihope being jihope // this is not a gifset this is a happy pill ♡ hyung line from memories of 2015 // i hope i don't need to explain this?!?! ♡ RJ comforting rapline // i'm still sobbing

september:

⟡ namgi dealing with their Jin-hyung // lol#2 ♡ Namjoon birthday compilation gifset // it was my first time doing something like this and i really love how it turned out ♡ maknae line for Pat's birthday // i know this is my post but whenever i see it i sit and look at it in awe (i'm allowed to be proud with myself from time to time) ♡ sope flirting // they are so married it's annoying

october:

⟡ Jin and his mindset // if more of us were like him it would be a merrier place (yes, quoting king of my heart here) ♡ namseok gifset for Julia's birthday // i had so much fun making these ♡ peach Namjoon // iykyk ♡ winter package 2020 hyung line // rare photoshoot with just four of them in the same unit

november:

⟡ Jin, Joon, the saxophone and Jimmy Fallon // totally agree with y'all😌 ♡ Bangbangcon namgi // Yoongi's smile i'm gonna sob ♡ Namjoon and his healing smile // i miss him so much ♡ Jin performing Another Level // i do not make performances gifset often and this is a good song and a good performance and i love how these look

december:

⟡ cute barefaced Yoongi from ITS1 // lol we all are so whipped for him ♡ Jin for Dicon // playing with color isolation was fun ♡ soft (and a bit drunken) Hobi from ITS1 // the look on his face make my heart flutter ♡ cuteness agression namgi // i can't stop giggling, Yoongi your crush is showing ♡ ON Kinetic Manifesto Film Shoot Sketch | Hyung line // my boys looking fine as hell, that's it that's the tweet

Idk if it me or you really can see how my january gifs look different from december gifs. It didn't happen on purpose, but it's something that is interesting to see.

It fun to see how my year started with 2019 year and with MOTS: Persona era. And now i'm closing it by entering BE and Life Goes On era *breathes out* Yeah, life goes on and my journey goes on as well😁

Anyway it was my second year here and i'd like to thank you all for staying with me, for you support, for your reblogs and comments, it means a lot💖 I enjoyed this ride, let's continue next year with the boys!

tagging @namchyoon @kimtaegis @jung-koook @hvseoks @btsiu

@taee @kth1 @heybaetae @oumoumimi (no pressure ofc <3)

[grapesrsogood]

After Xanthus turned Love (a phew months later)

Just a short drabble that i thought up and decided to try out writing :3

After writing this: YALL ARE GOING TO DIE FROM THIS TOOTH ROTTING FLUFF IM TELLING YOU NOW

Masterlist here

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Im thinking that maybe we should paint the room a dark green colour? Oh, and we could paint the shutters a darker green to complement it!” I stand beside Xanthus in our new bedroom, we had bought a house a phew weeks back to continue our fresh start together and are considering what colour scheme would work best.

I continue on my rant as i walk around the room aimlessly, “a dark wood book case would look lovely in the corner and having a desk too would be nice,” my excitement grows and i feel Xanthus’s gaze on me as i practically prance around the room, pointing out possible decor and furniture styles.

I giggle to myself, feeling like a kid waking up on their birthday, exited for the day ahead. I turn to look at Xanthus and he’s already looking back, his eyes soft and holding a look that i recognise as intrigue or maybe confusion, he seems to have that look in his eyes more frequently recently.

I move closer to him and turn my whole body to face his, “whats up hun?” I ask as i tilt my head, a soft smile making its way onto my lips and i continue to gaze back at my lover.

“How do you do it?” He finally speaks and im slightly taken aback by his question, “what do you mean?” I ask in return and he looks to the side for a moment.

“You are practically glowing, as you usually are. Your smile is still warm and the comforting tone in your voice hasn’t wavered at all. You are still the same embodiment of life that you were when i first saw you and you are still filled with the same compassion and love, you arent cold or distant or predatory in any way even though your humanity has been stolen from you. I dont feel as though the bond is gone because i still have you, the same you and the you that loved me and saw the good in everybody around you. How do you do it? How are you still so you, when you’re like… me…” his words trail off into silence and my eyes dont leave him for a second, untill his finally meet mine. I bring a hand up to his cheek and he rests his jaw on my palm, bringing his own hand up to cradle mine.

“Xanthus… i love you. Thats never going to change, even if im undead. My humanity doesnt define me, just as being a vampire doesnt either. I choose to love and feel happy and feel alive because even if im not, the world around me is and i want to live with it. Im alive in my heart, and so are you. You love me, you care for people, that isnt proof of your humanity. Thats proof of your life! Thats proof that despite what you’ve been through and what you’ve seen or done, you can still take a breath and appreciate the world around you, the people around you. I refuse to let myself go over something such as death. I dont care because im still myself at heart and thats what really counts.” I dont break eye contact as i see his eyes begin to water and he brings his other hand up to cover his eyes.

“Xanthus, you dont need to hide your emotions, you can pretend being turned changed you, that it took away your right to feel things, but thats not true! You feel just as much as any human. You love just as much as any human. Don’t let any outdated stereotypes about vampires being heartless monsters change that,” i gently tug his hand down and watch as a single tear rolls down his cheek.

He finally talks again, his words wavering and he practically whispered to me, “i love you too.”

I pull him into me carefully, as he buries his face into my neck, soft and quiet sobs coming from him occasionally and his arms tighten around me. I realise then that Xanthus, a 400 year old vampire that claims to be a wise, unfeeling being of the shadows, was simply a man who hadnt felt comfort for over three centuries and just needed a person to really see him for who his is and not what he is to finally feel again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SUPER SHORT BUT AGHHHHH

I LOVE THIS >v<

Words are so fun teehee

Apologies for any mistakes, its late and i want to post this now so i’ll read over it again in the morning

BAIIIIII

[zaksdolls]

The Skelita Howliday doll has been on sale on Amazon (at fluctuating prices) so I gave in and bought her as a birthday gift for myself. As I scrolled through the reviews I was concerned that she would arrive in a mangled box and damaged. Thankfully, she turned up pristine!

The packaging is quite nice. I very much like the skull winged butterflies. It's a shame that they are not really used anywhere else besides the fabric print of the dress.

Anywho, I've already complained enough about the doll's design and I'm sure there are plenty of reviews out there so I'll go quickly!

STAND:

Yes, very nice details on stand base. Good. I was surprised when I realized it's a saddle stand. I've had to stick a wad of putty on the saddle to keep Skelita in place lest she falls out.

Now she topples over stand and all! X'D

HEADPIECE:

I was happy to see the skullettes in the flowers have all this sculpted detail! Unfortunately, the painted detailed are a bit off.

The headpiece is made of a harder plastic and is hollow with an open back.

At first, I thought, "Oh, nice. It's much lighter than the first adult collector Skelita's headpiece!"

But then I remembered that I actually really dislike when companies cut corners by neglecting the backside of their toys and products. All angles should be taken into consideration.

Especially on a collector doll.

SHOES:

Shoes are nice. I like the detail of the sole and flowers.

JEWELRY:

Itty bitty skullette beads.

And another skullette with sculpted details. A nice touch.

I'm honestly surprised to see a total of six bracelets and a necklace on this doll. They don't have much in the way of painted details, but I'll take what I can get.

DRESS:

Skelitas used to come with a plastic piece in the shape of the standard Monster High torso to help clothes fit on her boney frame. Now she comes with this. Undergarments I guess? ;P

The ruffle and sleeves are made of the same stretchy fabric and covered with some gold glitter. The sleeves' edges are secured with an overlock stitch while the ruffle is left raw.

Beginning to fray.

The dress's skirt fabric is that thick plasticy fabric that kind of feels like paper. I do not care for this fabric in the least.

(I was trying to capture the stiffness of the fabric by scrunching it in the photo.)

------------------------------------------------------

After disassembly, I washed her and her clothes. The purple stretchy fabric began to stick onto itself during the washing process. Perhaps the glitter adhesive reactivated with the water and/or the heat. Thankfully, I was able to separate it all again. The top portion of the skirt ruffle folded over during washing and I actually prefer it this way.

Happy accident.

I was able to bring down and relax the sleeves with some added (light) heat. Thank goodness because I did not like how those sleeves looked from factory.

I also took it upon myself to straighten and quickly style her hair with a half ponytail.

For a collector doll, I expect some styling from the company but she came with nothing.

-----------------------------------------------------

Here she is:

The more I look at her, the more I appreciate her. The colors are nice and are pretty cohesive. There are some nice details and she's a "pretty" doll.

However, for this being a collector doll priced at almost 50USD and knowing that Mattel can and has done so much better in terms of design and materials, I'm very disappointed.

But for what I actually paid?

She's okay.

Either way, I'm very happy to have her.

In truth, I would like to buy another one. Either for fodder, or to keep one as factory and another customized. Will only do that if she drops considerably in price.

[whoreforhurtcomfort]

"Coming Home" ~ Josh Washington (Chapter 1)

After what is now known as "The Wendigo Incident" Joshua Washington and Natalie Torres broke up. He disappeared off the face of the Earth, and she married an asshole to regain a sense of security, but now he's back and she's questioning everything

An older!Josh x fem!ex!married!OC story

Note: While this story will contain cheating, I do NOT condone actual IRL cheating.

November 2024, ten years after Hannah and Beth Washington’s disappearance. Los Angeles, California

“Almost done!” I call out from the master bathroom. I hear an affirmative response from somewhere on the opposite side of the large modern house. 

Despite knowing exactly what I’d find, I pulled out my phone and opened Instagram. His account sits at the top of my search results, as it always does. I tap on it and am directed to @justjoshin95 and find his page looks exactly the same as it has the last twenty times I’ve checked it this week. No pictures of himself aside from the ones from before February 2014. Just the occasional photo of a landscape, no captions, no locations tagged, and the comments are turned off. 

I give in and let myself tap the most recent photo, from three weeks ago at this point. In the foreground is his strong, veiny hand holding a lit joint. Behind the hand is a view I know very well. He’s at our spot. The place where we confessed our feelings for each other all those years ago, the place we kissed for the first time, and the place where we broke up after “The Wendigo Incident” as my psychiatrist called it. 

I hear heavy footsteps approaching the bathroom and quickly lock my phone, setting it down on the counter. He’s not coming tonight, he never comes to anything. You were lucky to get a “Happy Birthday” text this year. I pick up my makeup brush and put some finishing touches on my look for the evening. I see him in the mirror first, sauntering into the room and placing a kiss on the top of my head. 

“You look beautiful baby, but we’re gonna be late if you don’t hurry up. Okay?” My husband, Gary, whispers. 

“Almost… done!” I announce, setting down the brush and turning to face him. 

In the months following The Wendigo Incident, I ended up spending a lot of time in police stations and courtrooms. Nobody knew who to believe, what to do, who to charge, and what to charge them with. It was a mess. Josh and I had just broken up when I met Gary at the police station. The cops were interrogating me again when he mistakenly walked into the wrong room but defended me anyway. 

Gary was safe. He hadn’t seen what we’d seen, hadn’t been there. He was older, he was smart, he was kind, he was financially stable. I needed something secure, so I clung to him in an act of desperation. He swept me up, put a ring on my finger, and bought us a big house to raise a family in. The fantasy didn’t last forever. We didn’t get pregnant. We argued and he blamed me for our failure. When it turned out he was the infertile one he didn’t apologize, he just threw himself into work so he wouldn’t have to face me and our big, cold, and empty house. But Gary is safe. He provides for me. He stayed around, he stuck with me even after I told him what happened on Blackwood Mountain. 

Gary stayed. 

Josh left. 

The drive to Matt and Jessica’s house isn’t very long. They got a nice place together in the suburbs a couple years ago. Their… situation is unorthodox. A meaningless one-night stand accidentally created two beautiful twin girls. Matt and Jess agreed to do what’s best for the kids and give them as normal of a life as possible. That meant living together and co-parenting… as “friends”. 

Gary finds a spot and parks the car a few houses down along the painted curb. We get out and walk toward the house, I notice the cars that are already parked. I think everyone else is already here. No Josh, like usual. I bat the thought of him away and reach for my husband’s hand. Gary knocks on the door and I take a glance at the new sign planted in the lawn. “Greendale Lion’s: 2023 Regional Champions” it reads. I remember how proud Matt was when his boys finally won last year. He got a job as the head football coach at a local college a few years ago and since then the team has been doing way better. 

Jessica opens the door, waving us inside with a smile while trying to keep the twins in her eyeline. I see them crowded around Mike and Sam while they tell a story, unfortunately, once they hear Jess say my name they lose all focus and come bounding over to me and Gary. I kneel down and sweep both of them in a big hug. 

“Auntie Nat!” They cheer excitedly, a few baby teeth missing in their wide grins. 

“Hey, girls! Looks like you’ve got a visit from the tooth fairy coming up!” I smile back at them. They have Jessica’s eyes. 

“Auntie, we lost our tooths in the same day! Naomi lost hers and I was like screaming about it and then mine fell too!” Lily, the younger twin informs me. 

“What! That’s crazy! You really are twins!” I laugh. 

“Dinner’s ready!” Matt announces, stepping out of the kitchen and pulling off his messy apron. 

“Ooh, we’d better take our seats!” I tell the girls who giggle and run off toward the table. I follow them and take a seat next to Gary who is engaged in some fierce conversation with Emily. 

“I don’t see you taking on much pro-bono work these days Nelson” Emily states in an accusatory tone. 

“Sorry Ms. Davis, but my firm is busy with big clients. I understand that you folk don’t know what that’s like” Gary snickers. 

I hate seeing these two go at it, but at this point I know better than to step in between two lawyers arguing. I turn towards Sam and Mike instead, Mike is fumbling with this napkin. Despite the years of practice some things still trip him up, missing two fingers is more of a pain than most people would expect. Sam gives him a pitiful look and helps him out. 

“How are things at work?” I ask them. 

“The mayor keeps trying to cut our funding. I get we’re a major city, but parks are still a necessity!” Mike answers, getting a little fired up. 

“We’ve been collecting signatures and sending emails, but it’s an uphill battle. I had to stop Mike from bringing Wolfie to a town hall meeting to scare the donors into helping” Sam laughs, a hint of tiredness behind the sound. 

We start eating, everyone passing around big bowls of food and catching up on each other’s lives. Everyone nags Chris and Ashley about setting a date for their wedding, they both insist they’ll get on after a big deadline they coming up at their respective jobs. Chris landed some big tech job none of us fully understand and Ashley writes tastefully trashy romance novels that middle-aged women absolutely adore. Her fanbase is nearly cult-like at this point, always eager for the next book. We settle into a peaceful dinner ambiance, but it doesn’t last forever. 

A sudden, uncertain knock on the front door stops the chatter instantly. Jessica and Matt look at each other confused as if to ask “Are we expecting anyone? Did you order something online?”. Before any of the adults move, Lily and Naomi jump up from their seats and rush towards the front door. Lily stands on her tippy toes and unlocks the front door. 

“Girls! You know better!” Matt gently scolds them while Jessica stands up to take over the situation. 

The girls don’t listen. Naomi grabs Lily and helps pull her and the door open. It’s almost like they practiced this. I hear Chris make a joke about Ocean’s 8 causing a few people to chuckle, but my eyes stay glued to the girls. Their little eyes go wide and their jaws literally drop as they look up at whoever is standing on the porch. 

“Uncle Joshy!” They scream, rushing towards…him. 

The air gets sucked out of the room as he slowly walks into the house, a girl wrapped around each of his legs. He holds two brand new toys, presumably for the girls in one hand, and awkwardly waves towards the table of frozen guests with the other. I start to stand up, but Gary tugs my hand, keeping me down in my seat. 

He’s here.

Joshua Washington is fucking here. He’s grinning and showing the girls the toys he brought for them. Someone whispers the word “bribery”, but I can’t tell who it is because he’s captured all my attention. He always does. His hair is styled in the way it always is, his face is freshly shaven, and he’s got a nice long-sleeved shirt on. Fuck, he looks good. 

Jessica greets him and wrangles the twins while Matt rushes around in a panic, trying to find an extra chair. They didn’t plan for him to be here. They didn’t know. I don’t think anyone did. I certainly didn’t. 

“Joshua, late as usual” Gary chastises him. I kick his leg under the table, but he continues to glare at the new arrival. Josh smiles back, but now you can see the smile doesn’t reach his eyes as he looks at my husband. 

“It’s just Josh” He replies firmly. 

Gary opens his mouth and I kick him again, harder this time. He bites his tongue, but turns to look at me with a look that says, “We’re talking about this when we get home”. Yay. 

I tune most of the dinner conversation for the next hour or so. Trying to not look at him too often, but also not completely avoiding him. He’s looking at me too. I catch his gaze shifting from my eyes to my wedding ring more than a few times. I want to reach out to him, talk to him, but I know better. I’m married and Josh will be gone again after tonight. He always leaves. 

“So what are you doing these days now, man?” Chris asks him, a soft grin on his face. 

“I actually just got a job at Greendale Community College” Josh informs happily. Matt suddenly chokes on his food, awkwardly coughing after clearing it out. 

“Really?” Matt asks an alarmed look in his eyes. 

“Yep! See you at work buddy” Josh laughs. 

“So you’re sticking around this time?” I ask, trying to keep my voice steady while Gary squeezes my hand a little too tight. 

“I got a good job and just put a down payment on a house not too far from here. I’m staying guys, I promise. I’m done running, I’m a grown man and I need to face the music” He promises, looking at each of us. 

“Can you babysit us?!” Naomi asks excitedly. Josh laughs and looks at Jessica. 

“We’ll see about that” He answers. An awkward silence falls over the table for a moment. Despite his promises, it’s clear no one fully believes what he’s saying. 

“Well, I’m happy for you!” Mike smiles, patting Josh’s back roughly. 

“What exactly are you doing at the college?” Gary asks seriously, staring down Josh. 

“I’m teaching a few classes: theatre and film production shit. Teach what you know, right?” Josh laugh weakly, meeting Gary’s hard stare. 

“It’s nice to see you using your powers for good” Ashley chimes in, a genuinely happy look on her face. 

The rest of the evening passes by pretty uneventfully. Dinner turns into dessert. Innocent chit-chat turns into more rowdy conversations and story-swapping. Everyone loosens up a little, but just as like all good things the night must come to an end. It’s past the twins' bedtime and they are getting a bit grouchy so Matt and Jess politely tell us all to leave. 

Everyone stands up and starts giving each other goodbye hugs and well wishes, promising to see each other soon. I make my way around to almost everyone before coming face-to-face with Josh. He starts to walk towards me, but Gary slides in between us and clamps Josh’s hand into a rough handshake. Gary leans in and whispers something into Josh’s ear. 

As soon as the two break apart, Gary steps back, takes my hand firmly, and pulls me out the front door and towards the car. Wordlessly, we climb inside and Gary starts the engine. What the fuck was that? I’m trying to decide what to say when Gary breaks the silence a few minutes into our drive home. 

“You are not to see that man” He orders firmly. I hate when he talks to me like one of his clients. 

“Excuse me? Wanna try that again?” I give him another shot, hoping he’ll realize his mistake and back off. 

“Stay away from him. He’s nothing but trouble, I don’t want near you” Gary doubles down. 

“He’s my friend…” I start to defend, but Gary harshly cuts me off. 

“He is your ex-boyfriend. I don’t need a man like that hanging around my woman. You are not to see him. I am just looking out for you, baby. Do you understand?” Gary asks. 

“I… fine. But, if he meant what he said and he really does clean up his act will you be open to backing off a bit?” I hesitate, not wanting to agree to this, but also knowing that arguing with Gary is always a losing battle. 

“I understand he means a lot to you Natalie, but that is the issue… we will see. Maybe we can work something out in the future” Gary answers, clearly meaning to end the conversation. I just have to avoid him. How hard could that possibly be? We’ve already been apart for the majority of the past nine years, why should this be any different?

[personasintro]

Hi Mimi. Can I ask you for advice.

I have a friend who is mad at me because I’m not calling her back 24/7, and because I can’t hang out all the time and have to cancel due to the fact that I work and they sometimes, even if I have plans, call me in.

I couldn’t attend her boyfriend’s surprise birthday dinner, who she’ve only been dating for like 4 months and I’ve only met twice, because they wanted to go out late at night and I was working the day before, during, and the day after. However that particular day I got to finish my shift early because it was raining so my boss told me to just go home. On my way home another friend called me, who I haven’t seen in four month because we live 1h and 45min away from each other. My birthday is in two weeks but she’s going on vacation soon, she asked if we could meet up in the city and have dinner, this is like 4-5pm, because she wanted to celebrate me by buying me dinner. I said okey. I didn’t think I was doing anything wrong. We meet up, have dinner, order some drinks, and I post a video of us. The other friend, not even 5 minutes later, sends me a loooong message about what a bad friend I am without even knowing anything. I didn’t answer her right away and decided to wait until I was home. I got home at like 8:30, and the dinner was around 9-10isch so even if I didn’t go out with my friend I couldn’t go and celebrate her boyfriend because I needed to sleep.

She really went off on me, said a lot of things, and made me feel so shitty for nothing. So I wrote back and told her, we’re not kids, I didn’t do anything wrong, I explained briefly why I went out with my friend, and I also told her it’s my life and nobody can get mad at me for my choices, even if I was free that day it still shouldn’t be a problem because I don’t have an obligation to anybody. I also told her that I think it’s wrong that she decided to message me when she saw I was out, she could have waited and brought it up the next day instead of basically trying to ruin my night. I also texted her “don’t worry about this now, go and have fun, enjoy, let’s talk face 2 face when we get the chance” She then texted me back saying “I am celebrating his birthday all weekend, we can talk another day, I don’t have time to deal with this now”. I wrote back “sure”. My first thought, before I calmed myself down, was “so you have time to ruin my night, and start this whole thing, but you don’t have time to finish it?”.

Am I the asshole? Hahaha this sounds like a reddit post, I wanted to write it there but I don’t want to take a risk of her seeing it. Your account, your stories and you are also my comfort zone. I just feel safe here, which is why I am sorry for the rant and headache you have now. I just don’t like to talk about other people with other people, which is why I’m not asking for advice from my friends. But at the same time I’m desperate because I feel like I have done everything for her but just because I have work and have to prioritize myself I’m suddenly a bad friend for not attending her bfs dinner who I’ve only met twice. I mean it’s not like I missed her wedding day. It’s not like I was talking shit about her or told everyone her secrets for her to call me awful names and paint me as the bad guy. It’s not like the plan hanged on me, and I said no, and everybody stayed home but then I went out anyways. They still went out and had fun, so why should it be a problem if I was there or not.

I just want to add that this friendship is solely about me being there for her, I’m basically her therapist. I’ve never ever had demands on her or how she should treat me. I’m so drama free like this is my only drama in life atm in the past 6 years. I’m so easy going. You know that last year on my birthday she didn’t wish me a happy bday, and last year I asked her 6 times if she wanted to go on a vacation and she said no, but then she posts on snap that she’s going on a “random trip” with a girl she met 6 month ago at a gym who she doesn’t even talk to anymore because she feels that the girl was to clingy. I didn’t say anything because I thought it’s okey I’m not gonna ruin her day, vacation or whatever for something so silly, it’s HER life. I’m always there for her, even if I’m busy I always try to show her that she is not neglected by maybe sending her a song, or meme, or even going as far as telling her that I’m gonna be busy and that she can call me if it’s an emergency otherwise I won’t be so active. I always have her back, she calls me 4 in the morning and I pick up without blinking twice. My parents treat her as a second daughter, I’m always there for her as much as I can, and I just have to add that last month, I didn’t sleep for 36h and had a 10h shift the day after, but I still went out with her because she needed a friend due to having a bad day. I neglected my mental health for her. And our convos are 90% about her, 7% about random stuff, and 3% about me, and I STILL DONT HAVE A PROBLEM WITH IT because idgaf. Im honestly so unbothered I really don’t care, but right now I care because I feel that the text she sent me, and the way she wanted to paint me, and the words she used even though I’ve never ever had anything negative about her coming out of my mouth…I just feel like this is so unfair and I don’t know what to do. Should I end the friendship? Or maybe talk to her and try to make her understand? Im just so lost and this is honestly so sad because we’ve been friend for 12 years if not more. I don’t want it to end over something so silly…

Much love💜

Again I’m sorry for ranting, if you have advice I want to thank you for them. And I also want to thank you before hand for taking the time to read this. I admire u and ur stories!

I just have to add: she’s not a bad person, her good qualities overshadows the bad ones, which is why we’re still friends.

This message was sent a while back and I am sorry for responding only now. Maybe you were able to figure it out on your own or things happened after this. But all I can recommend for you to do is to talk to your friend, if you haven’t already. If I were you, I’d try to communicate and make her see where I am coming from as well and then… there’s nothing much you can do from there. You’ll see how she takes it and whether she’s able to see your side or not. Regardless of everything, she shouldn’t take you for granted and cut you some slack.

Like you said, you don’t want your friendship to end over something silly but maybe it’s not something silly at all. In the end, you don’t want friends who makes you feel guilty and take you for granted all the time. Just the fact your entire friendship seems to be focusing on her rather than on both of you says a lot. You shouldn’t be treated that way and you do deserve someone who equally cares about you as a person :)

[senkusphone]

@aresagainstthemachine asked so this one is for you. Video of it working at the end.

Here's the one project I am so proud of I named my entire blog after it.

Back in 2020, while I was stuck at home with few pleasant things to do, I decided to bring this contraption to life.

Only recently had I gotten into this inspiring series called Dr. Stone, and when I saw them make this device in the anime, I knew it was my divine calling to build it, for I had prior experience building circuits with vacuum tubes, an interest that was fostered greatly by my late grandfather when I was a boy. It had been because of the stories he'd tell me that I built my first crystal radio back then (which took me about 4 years of trial and error). Now, people had ''built'' the phone on youtube at least once before, but I was not satisfied with what they did, when they used parts that were too advanced and didn't even get it to transmit a voice, only to pick up radio stations. So I tried to go beyond while being as accurate as possible to the level of technology they had, I was seeking to achieve more with less

Making something that picks a radio signal is relatively easy, the challenge was making it also produce its own signal so it could truly be used as a phone (or more accurately, like a walkie talkie), and I restricted myself to use the most primitive tubes I had, the ones most similar to what old Kaseki would have made.

(Happy birthday to Kaseki by the way, February 9th) I started out using this beautiful Western Electric 262-A tube. This general purpose triode was developed around 1928 by the Bell Telephone company and one of the things it was known to be used for, was in cinema projectors to amplify the sound from the early talkie films. I think that's interesting enough to mention.

It wasn't long until my experiments showed great promise, eventually I moved on to a type 45 vacuum tube, another triode which is more powerful as a transmitter than the 262-A yet its construction is much more primitive. This tube is very similar to what Senku & Co. would've had.

I started building the definitive device, simultaneously laying a plan to combine a transmitter and receiver in the same unit using just one tube, a task that required this one part to perform four different duties (because I hadn't read the manga, and I didn't know the final unit they dispatched used two tubes instead of just one). On new year's eve at the end of 2020, the circuit was broadcasting One Small Step by Lillian Weinberg, loud and clear to a radio across the room.

You can get a recording of that in the link below as Tumblr won't let me upload it (yes I am using discord to host files, it also works for hosting images for your fanfics on Ao3, you're welcome).

The wooden circuit board was wired with homemade wires, made by cutting a sheet of copper into strips, and wrapping them in cotton and thread. A relay is used to switch the phone from receiver mode to transmitter mode with the push of a button.

Then the coils were calculated and wound, including the iconic large transmit coil

but would this coil that was made to look like the one in the series, be suitable to repeat what I had achieved in my experiments, would it resonate and produce the signal?

yes

I intended originally to have this project done before season 2 of Dr. Stone started, and put out a youtube video, but that ended up not happening. Still, the unit finally came together, and the plastic housing was a tupper with the rim cut off, painted orange and applied lettering.

By now season 2 had already ended, I believe, or it was soon to. Before I painted the case, I had to have one definitive test, to see that my creation demonstrated the functionality it promised, and now I had just the right voice to do it.

The final circuit was based on the work of radio pioneer Edwin Howard Armstrong, who was one of the fellows who invented the wireless world we know it today.

I turned the switch, and watched as the tungsten filament in the tube started glowing red. First I adjusted the receive coil and a radio station came in on the crystal earpiece, then, with a radio receiver in tune nearby, I started the sound I wanted to send over the air, and I pressed the transmit button...

It's true, it can be done. Today, there are people still alive who saw the day when the cutting edge of electronics was at this level. How far we've come from these baby steps, over such a short time.

Isn't science awesome?

I still haven't built a second unit.

[lostgracestories]

Distant Sparks (Miguel O'Hara x Reader) pt 2

YALL I COULD NOT HELP MYSELF- Okay so I totally didn't plan to be writing part 2 of this while I'm at school nor did I expect to write this much so HOLY CRAP guys, I hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it!

cw: cold(ish) miguel (he's getting better)

wc: 1271

pt1 ->pt2<- pt3

It’s been 2 days since you had decided that you were going to make a gift for Miguel. You were sitting in your house at the table with a project lying in front of you. You had always been artistic but never very sciencey, so you had decided to build him a spider-shaped wooden paperweight for him. You had taken great care to make sure that the gift looked as perfect as possible, spending over 5 hours on it over the past 2 days.

You grabbed the paint sitting next to your wooden project and dipped your brush inside the red. With each careful stroke over the wood, a new thought bubbled into your mind.

I hope Miguel likes this!

That was the most consistent thought out of all of them. Of course, you hoped he would like it. This was your hard work! You always bought or made gifts for your friends on their birthdays, but even though you knew Miguel was disinterested in being friends with anybody, you wanted to break down that wall that he had built.

After touching up the spider lying in front of you, you finally left it to dry. You hadn’t realized that it was now past dinner and you hadn’t even eaten yet! You had been so focused on that gift that you had lost track of the time. You quickly scurried into your kitchen and opened the fridge. You pulled out an apple to tide you over then when you finished eating it, you went and got ready for bed. Tomorrow was the day that you would get to give that gift to Miguel.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Miguel was glued to those yellow screens up on his platform as usual. However, today was different. Miguel knew it was his birthday, but he had made it clear to everyone that he had no interest in celebrating it. He didn’t have the time to. He didn’t deserve it. Yet, he thought back to your conversation with him a few days ago and found himself subconsciously anticipating you to walk through those doors into his office. It made him feel stupid every time someone walked through those doors and he unwillingly hoped it was you. He had to admit… the kindness that you brought into spider society had begun to touch him too.

~~~

You rushed through the halls of the society after you had slept in way later than you had planned to. You carried a moderately small gift bag in your hand that was decorated with sugar skulls. You hadn’t done it intentionally, you just grabbed one of the gift bags you had saved from an old Halloween gift exchange. You were always about saving money where you could, keeping old gift bags in your closet to reuse.

As you hastily approached the doors to Miguel’s office you felt yourself become increasingly excited. After finally reaching the doors, you walked in and called up to Miguel’s platform with enthusiasm.

“Happy Birthday!!! I know you told me not to get you anything so I made you something!!” Miguel is almost startled by your sudden presence but he quickly turns away from his work as if he was expecting you to show up. He curses himself for turning so quickly to you.

“I don’t want it”

You huffed and pouted at his lackluster response. You hadn’t spent over 5 hours of your time to just hear him say that then throw it away! You responded with the gift outstretched up towards him.

“I spent a long time making it for you though… at least look at it?”

You suggested and heard an audible groan and a mumbled ‘ay dios mio’ before Miguel gave in and put his hands on his hips, his eyes still focused on you.

“Fine. Bring it up here.” You smiled brightly at your accomplishment and carefully webbed yourself up to meet him on his platform. Miguel kept his eyes trained on you before they wandered down to the gift bag and he rolled his eyes at the design.

“Is the bag supposed to be funny?”

You feel your cheeks heat up in embarrassment for a moment and quickly begin to explain why the bag had sugar skulls on it.

“No! I keep gift bags from parties and stuff to reuse them and I didn’t notice that I had put the gift in this specific bag…”

You give him a giddy smile and hand him the bag. He raises a brow at your explanation but chooses not to question it. As he takes the bag from you he peeks inside and carefully pulls out the parchment paper to reveal the gift sitting at the the bottom. The moment he sees it he pauses. He doesn’t even pull it out yet.

“What is it…?”

He looks up at you in confusion at the gift. Sure, he saw that it was a wooden spider, but what was its purpose? To be honest, it reminded him of a gift from a child. He only half realized it, but he found it a bit endearing.

“It’s a paperweight! Jess told me that you always have a ton of paperwork up here and now that I’m up here I can see she was right!”

Miguel purses his lips as he glances over his desk space at the papers strewn across it. He never had the time to organize them. He thought about it for a moment before returning his attention to the gift and tenderly pulling it out of the bag and setting it down on his desk. He sighed heavily and shook his head.

“Thank you… But please, no more gifts…”

You nod at his request, acknowledging him.

“No more gifts- until next year!”

You say it so excitedly that he swears he can feel his heart clench. You were so kind to him while all he had been was harsh to you since you stepped foot into spider society. He knit his brows together and frowned, causing you to give him a puzzled expression.

“Are you alright?”

“Lo siento…”

He mumbles the apology so quietly that you almost don’t hear. Half of him hoped you wouldn’t understand what he was saying while the other half hoped you would and that you would accept the apology without question. Well, you did know Spanish and you knew exactly what he said. Your response?

“Por que?”

His gaze turns away from you and he shakes his head.

“Nothing, don’t worry about it. Now, you should go help Jess fill out those reports. Tell her to have you start bringing them from now on”

Once again. His words leave you extremely puzzled as you stand there staring at his back.

“Wh-”

Miguel cuts you off before you can finishing asking him why.

“Because Jess is busy. She goes on high-profile missions. I need her focused on missions, not delivering paperwork”

Miguel’s cold tone takes the place of his previous less hostile one and you realize that just like the last time you had talked to him, this conversation was over. You nod behind him, even though you know he can’t see you and you quietly exit his office. As Miguel is left by himself he feels his heart ache a bit at the absence of your cheerful presence. Regardless, Miguel focuses back on work reminding himself that you are just a distraction to his work. Yet, he can’t keep himself from allowing his eyes to wander over to the wooden spider. He stared at it for a while before sighing and shaking his head. What on earth had you done to him?

[captaingrebelguf]

Yule Tidings

Okey dokey, well I found myself with some time on my hands this weekend unexpectedly. So what else does a few glasses of wine lead to? 🍷

It leads to me slamming out a Christmas story for my ghestie, @copiousloverofcopia. Because she's a delight and she makes my life better. ❤️

🎄 Merry Ghristmas, girlfriend.🎄

------------------------------------------

Sister Alessandra and her and Terzo's brood borrowed from Prime Mover Ren and her series, Tied as One Eternally. Please read it. Multiple times. Or read ANYTHING she makes. It'll warm your dark lil soul. 💜

------------------------------------------

So. A few weeks back, the night before Luciana was born…

...

Terzo’s hands hovered protectively around over his daughter’s as she used a wooden match to light the long, pale candles driven into the oak log. 

“Ben fatto, mia figlia. Brava!” Terzo smiled, blowing out the match before kissing Mena’s cheek. 

The family’s yule log was now lit and seated in front of a frosted window. The glow of the festive stump and their newly-decorated Yule tree illuminated the Papal suite. 

Terzo promised to give his wife a day to herself and he had made good on his word. He woke, fed, and dressed the two kids and whisked them outside on an adventure with Zio ‘Peemo’. They had scavenged the forest to gather foragable materials to decorate an altar. Alessandra tiredly beamed at her family from the couch. Her “quiet” day had consisted of a nap, an overdue date with a few hours of Hulu, and indulging in the many holiday treats Primo was handing off to his dear, exhausted cognata daily. Frank Sinatra droned on in the background. The fireplace crackled and a simmer pot courtesy of Primo was bubbling on the stove; the smell of clove and bergamot wafted through the flat. A plate of frosted cookies remained half eaten on the coffee table. 

Primo suggested frosting cookies as a way to entertain the children to give Alé some much-needed alone time. Copia tagged along once he had gotten wind of cookies being mentioned. He and Terzo had been more than happy to help frost their own versions of cookies. Primo helped his brother’s children decorate trees adorned with pentagrams and demon-esque snowmen. Alessandra was less than amused to find the cookies her husband made specifically for her were just well-endowed gingerbread people with very poorly done corpse paint to resemble his own.

Mena jumped up onto the couch and threw her arms around her mom’s neck. Dante yawned as he snuggled closer to his mother; the excitement of the day beginning to wear on the interim youngest Emeritus. Mena sunk down to be at eye level with Alé’s bump.

“Okay, Luci, we have everything decorated for you. So we’re ready for you now!” Mena pleaded with her unborn sibling.

“Sadly, it doesn’t quite work that way,” Alessandra lamented giving her stomach a gentle rub, pulling her oldest daughter in for a hug.

“Well, she’ll be here sooner or later,” Terzo chimed in, pouring himself a refill of the leftover vin brulé he had pilfered from Primo’s quarters. Terzo sipped on his drink before turning back to his family, “Or else she’s going to share a birthday with a certain leper-groping, carpenter hippie.”

“Uh, we’re getting into overtime as it is here,” Alessandra interrupted, “She better be out well before the 25th…”

“I mean, Alé, unless you could try to keep her in until the, eh, 25th? We could use her as an anti-Christ figure against the Church!” Terzo rambled on. Alé shook her head, refusing to participate in her husband’s chaos.

“Luci is not going to be the anti-Christ,” Mena stated matter of factly. Alé’s eyebrows shot up as she turned to look at their oldest.

Terzo paused and raised his eyebrow at his daughter. He hesitated, but he had to know, “What makes you say that, topolina?”

Mena coyly smiled at her father and buried her face into his mother’s side, becoming bashful all of a sudden. Terzo’s expression pulled into a frown as he shook his head at his daughter, muttering to himself, “Stregallina pazza..”

“It’s getting pretty late, little ones,” Alé pointed out, kissing the top of her daughter’s head, motioning to the clock above the fireplace. Alé leaned back and peered over to Dante. The young boy had been watching the candle flames bounce from the adorned yule log, but as soon as he caught his mother’s gaze, he clamped his eyelids shut. Alessandra chuckled and gave him a gentle shake, “Dante, are you already asleep?”

“Yes,” Dante insisted, without opening his eyes as he fought off a smile. He rolled away from his mother as she began to tousle his hair up; he buried his face into the couch cushions. 

Terzo smirked as he snatched the pillow up from under his son’s head and gently bopped him in the back with the decorative cushion, “You sleep talk now, too, eh? Piccolo bugiardo.”

Dante giggled as he attempted to protect himself from the leisurely blows Terzo continued to pelt him with as he sipped away at his drink. Terzo finished his drink and set the glass back down on the table as he took the pillow and lovingly squished it against Dante’s face one more time. He clicked his tongue at his offspring, motioning between them both, “You heard your mama. Bed time.”

“I’m not tired,” Mena replied, suppressing a yawn. Dante had quieted down again, breathing softly, still buried beneath the throw pillow.

“Yes, I know. It’s amazing how you’re never tired,” Terzo admitted defeatedly as he shifted his weight to his hip, placing his hands on his waist. He furrowed his brow as he looked at Mena; his daughter maintained unbreaking, pleading eye contact. Terzo couldn’t help but cave. If anyone else said it, he’d beat their ass; but he was without question, a complete pushover for his precious daughter. 

“Ay, fine, why not go find the new book Zio Copia got for you and show your fratellino before bed?” Terzo suggested. He heard his wife cough and pat at her throat.

“ahHEM--weak--hhem.”

Terzo snapped his attention to glare daggers at his wife. Alé chewed on her lips to keep from laughing-- hoping to not pee herself. Before he could start his thought, his daughter’s cries interrupted him. 

“Yes!” Mena screeched enthusiastically as she leapt up from the couch, jostling Dante awake again, “And then after we read the book maybe we can get a rat for Yule, Papa??”

“No rats!” Terzo exclaimed, wide-eyed, putting his hands up to silence his daughter as she began to ramble to her father at a mile a minute. Damn his fratellino; filling his children’s minds with ratto thoughts.

“Papa!” Mena pleaded, her expression mimicking her father’s pout. Terzo felt his eyelid twitch.

“No. Rats.” Terzo insisted as he pointed towards Mena’s bedroom, “Sbrigati.”

Mena let out a heavy sigh as she marched towards her room, Dante quietly slid off the couch and bobbled after his sister. The two shuffled to the older one’s room where they could talk about maybe having Zio talk to their papa about a new pet.

“Why are you so opposed to this? Didn’t you boys have pets growing up?” Alessandra pried as she dropped her hands behind her in an attempt to relieve some of the pressure from her back. The ache today was no joke and she couldn’t wait to be done with this whole pregnancy.

Terzo huffed as he sunk down into the couch next to his partner, “Well yes, occasionally, the ones we’d find outside… the snakes.. The lizard.. The frogs.. but Primo always made us return them. But I also didn’t find myself with a wife and three children back then. Back then I had time for additional commitments! I refuse to take care of anything else at this time. Do you want to do it? Manage all of us plus a furry stronzo?!”

Alessandra smirked, choosing not to answer her husband. She adjusted herself to rest her head against his chest; Terzo gathered her legs and dropped them over his lap so he could massage her swollen calves. Alessandra moaned a little louder than she had planned as her head lolled back against the couch’s armrest.

“Prometto, when they’re out of my home, they can have as many disease-ridden burdens as they can handle,” Terzo clucked his tongue as he mimed circles around his head, “I have enough disease-ridden, snot burdens as it is.”

She frowned as she held out the back of her palm in an attempt to touch his forehead. Terzo awkwardly strained over for his wife to feel his skin. Most things ended up being a group effort for the past few weeks, “You do feel warm. Maybe you have thee crud.”

“Are you surprised? Alé, I feel like it's every other two weeks one of us is sick because of the two mostriciattoli,” Terzo stared incredulously at his wife as he continued .

Alé rolled her eyes as she let herself sink further into the couch. She winced as she felt the dull cramping in her back again. 

“Are you alright, amore?” Terzo questioned. Alessandra let out a sharp breath, holding her side.

“She’s definitely down in the right spot, that’s for sure,” Alé wrinkled her nose, clenching her jaw. Terzo’s mouth formed a tight line as he reached a hand over to place against her firm stomach.  He paused for a moment, considering his words before continuing.

“Well after the week you’ve had on your hands and knees begging for my cock, I had hoped that would help get something moving,” his concerned expression turning into a mischievous grin, gently patting her belly.

“Get your hands off me,” Alessandra hissed at him, batting his hands away from her. She attempted to pull her legs away, but Terzo held on, keeping her in place.

“I can bring a lot to the table, dolce,” Terzo purred, capturing her hand. He gently lifted her fingers and brought them to his lips; placing a chaste kiss. He wiggled his eyebrows at her, eliciting a giggle in response.

“Yes, Terzo, believe me, I’m very aware. Sometimes too much,” she laughed motioning with her free hand to her stomach. He smirked before leaning forward to kiss her belly. Alé cupped his cheek and gave him a content smile. Terzo softened his gaze as he locked eyes with her. Alé’s breath hitched as she suddenly felt her husband crush his lips against hers. Alé let out a soft moan as she felt her husband’s hands wriggle down the front of her robe and cup at her enlarged breast. Terzo continued to nip and bite at her neck as he rolled her nipple between his fingers. Alé wanted this so badly, but the kids were too close and knew a book wouldn’t keep them busy long enough.

“Hey!” Alé interjected against her husband’s fervent kisses, she gently placed her palm against his chest to snap him out of this state, “Hey, keep it in your pants, Papa! This one would be hard to play off in front of them.”

Terzo blinked back, trying to change gears wasn’t so easy when his Prime Mover looked like this. He felt slightly light-headed as he sat back against the couch with his cock straining against the confines of his slacks. He willed the blood to continue to circulate to other parts of his body. 

“Mi dispiace…” he cleared his throat and let out a long, frustrated sigh, “Alé, when you are like this, something takes over my mind, and I can’t think straight around you.”

“Well, I am flattered, but I’m also exhausted and like you said, you already had a good run this week.”

Terzo sighed, trying to focus on anything other than her breasts, his eyes flitted to the side table momentarily before changing his tone, “You know… I was only trying to add on a second early yule gift for my bellissima Prime Mover.”

Alé glowered at him. The emotional whiplash this man gave her sometimes made her question if it was worth it, “Second gift what!? Terzo, we said no gifts for each other this year. PERIOD.”

“It’s not a gift, per se!” Terzo argued, backsliding. 

“Listen to me, I have very little patience right now for you. You bring me cookies with massive, very graphic dicks on them. You massage my legs to just cop a feel--”

“I most certai--”

“Ah!” Alessandra cut him off and continued, “You beat our son!”

Terzo broke out into a shit-eating grin and laughed boisterously, “Please, like you wouldn’t smack the shit out of that little cattivello with a pillow if you had the chance!”

Alé’s serious face broke and she giggled, giving her husband a gentle shove, “You know what Primo told me? Dante pulls the same shit you and Secondo put that poor man through! So this IS actually all your fault that he’s like this. This is just generational karma!”

“That chiacchierone is nothing but a gossip! Stop talking about me behind my back with my fratello!” Terzo scoffed, waving his wife off, still chuckling to himself.

“You know I only agreed to marry you because it would get me closer to Primo,” Alé teased, scratching her nails down Terzo’s arm, Terzo rolling his eyes at her comment. The two lovers sat in comfortable silence taking in the disarray of their festively decorated home. This many years later, neither of them could still fathom this is where their path would take them.

“Eh, so, I did get you… a something,” Terzo finally admitted, fiddling around with his golden wedding ring, avoiding his wife’s accusatory gaze. Alé softly, but deliberately, punched him square in the shoulder.

“God. Damn. You,” Alessandra’s stare could have turned her husband into a Medusa-esque statue, “And I mean that, Terzo! We said no gifts! You make me look bad because I am capable of following rules!”

Terzo winked at her, rubbing his shoulder, as he leaned back behind the couch, snagging a small black box from the side table she hadn’t noticed before. He held the gift out to her; it was adorned with a dried orange and a cinnamon stick

“You bastard,” she grumbled, crossing her arms. Terzo placed the small box on top of her stomach. Alessandra huffed, jiggling the box.

“Consider our daughter in there your gift to me,” Terzo added, giving her leg a gentle squeeze.

“Oh you’re damn right she is!” Alé interjected as she felt their unborn child wedge her foot into her ribcage. The more she thought about it, the less bad she felt. Terzo wasn’t the one who was going to have to push another one of his big-headed children out from his crotch in the upcoming days. This was the least he could do for her. She lifted the giftbox and removed the ribbon fastening on the lid. Alessandra lifted the lid to reveal a delicate, gold, three moon pendant with a sizeable amethyst affixed to it. Her jaw dropped as she gaped at the necklace.

“Jesus Christ.”

“He had nothing to do with this one either, my love,” Terzo chuckled. He brushed a strand of Alé’s beautiful hair out of her face and tucked it behind her ear. Alessandra stared at the jewelry, feeling every emotion all at once. Terzo continued, “I felt this was only fitting. Something nice for the woman who is graciously making me a father for the third time. Grazie, mia dea oscura. Grazie di tutto.”

“Oh Terzo,” Alé sniffed, “This is too much…”

“It is just barely the start, amore,” Terzo hummed, “After all you’ve done for me; with me. You deserve the world, vita mia. Thank you doesn’t seem to cut it.”

Alessandra chuckled as she handed her husband the jewelry to safely place on the table next to his crude gingerbread persons, “Alright, help me up. I’m going to start a bath, you get the kids into bed, then meet me back at the tub. I think you’ve earned one more round to really get something moving here.”

Terzo stared wide-eyed at his wife, in complete disbelief his plan had worked, “Ave Satanas.”

“Come on, cowboy,” Alé rubbed her hand against the length of his hardening cock, she leaned over to him as she pointed a stern finger in his face, as she mocked, “Sbrigati, eh?”

Terzo sucked his teeth, ignoring the piss poor imitation of himself his wife had just pulled on him, as he quickly sprung to his feet to assist Alé. As he helped her up, he pulled her straight into his embrace. He began planting small kisses over her face and neck, “Grazie mille. You will not regret this, Sorella!”

“Last chance, though, mister,” Alé warned him as she pulled away from his arms. Terzo hurriedly began snuffing out candles and grabbing dishes to leave in the kitchenette for later. She winked at him as she waddled down to their bathroom to go make good on her proposition. 

Translations: 

Ben fatto, mia figlia -- Well done, my girl

Stregallina pazza -- Crazy little witch

Piccolo bugiardo -- Little liar

Sbrigati -- Hurry up

Mostriciattoli -- Little monsters

Cattivello -- trouble-maker

Chiacchierone -- Chatterbox

Grazie, mia dea oscura -- Thank you, my dark goddess

Grazie di tutto -- Thank you for everything

[grav3yardbb92]

Ronnie Radke x f!reader

my mom, his mom, my sister.....'. "sigh"

I scribble down a list of people to make invitations for. My boyfriend, Ronnie, proposed to me last week and we are rushing to get married before he leaves on tour.

My mind shifts to how our relationship started.

(Two years ago)

I'm sitting on a couch in this crowded club, with a fake smile painted on my face. It's my birthday, I should be happy right? Nope, not when my best friend since forever, Katie, is almost an hour late.

"Hey, Y/N" I turn around, hoping to see Katie, instead I only see her boyfriend, Ronnie. He sits down next to me.

"Katie's not with you" I ask hopefully

" uh, no, she should've been here already. " " speaking of...." He trails off and hands over a gift bag" this is from both of us".

" oh, thanks " I reply, trying to cheer myself up. He smiles lightly, then excuses himself to get a drink.

Ten minutes later, Ronnie returns with two drinks in his hand, passing one over to me." Still on Katie, huh?" I shake my head and down my drink." Maybe she forgot" " no, I'm sure she's just stuck in traffic " he replied." Well why don't you open your gift, I'm sure she won't mind" he says, picking up the bag and dangling it on his finger in front of my face. I smile and take the bag, when I look inside, I couldn't believe my eyes. In the bag, was a state of the art camera, the same one I was looking at just a few days ago.

" that's the one you wanted, right?"

" uh, yeah, but how did yo...." " Ryan saw you with one in the store, he told me that your eyes almost popped out of their sockets" he said while dramatically popping open his hands in front of his face. I couldn't help but bust out laughing at his antics, which only doubled when Jackie and Ryan joined us on the couch.

I fiddled with the camera for a few minutes, figuring out all its functions, then I began taking goofy pictures of my silly group of friends. I had to work the next day, so i decided to head home." One last picture! " Ryan screams, while snatching my camera from me. I roll my eyes and place a large and very real smile on my face. Just as the camera flashes, Ronnie jumps up beside me and plants a kiss on my cheek. He then blushes and disappeared. I was confused and sad so I went to look for him.

I found him outside,looking upset."Ronnie? What happened?" " nothing Y/N, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that. It's just, I seem to spend more time with you than I do my own girlfriend and.... And I..." He trailed off again, looking away as tears threatened to pour from his eyes. " And what?...Ronnie?" I say grabbing a s shoulder and turning him to look at me." Nothing, just forget it" " I can't, because I'm pretty sure I know what you want to say, at least I hope so, cause I feel the same" I say to him, feeling a huge releif in finally telling him how I feel.

Before I could say another word, his lips were on mine and my back was gently pushed against the wall. The kiss gets heated quickly and we end up in a full on make out session out side the club.

" WHAT THE FUCK" we freeze in place as we both recognize that voice.

Ronnie take a step toward her "Katie, I can explain"

" no Ronnie, don't." I pipe in, walking up to him and taking his hand." We don't have to explain anything to you, this is not the first time you have left me and him alone...you are late all the fucking time. What did you think would happen. I like Ronnie and he likes me and there is nothing you can do or say to change that" I rant out at her, letting out years of frustration toward her.

She crosses her arms and looks toward Ronnie, probably hoping he will deny everything I just said and pull her into his arms.

" don't look at me like that, we are through, she is your best friend and she is amazing, she doesn't deserve to be treated like shit by you or anybody." " whatever asshole" she says stomping away into the club.

Ronnie then looks to me" you are wrong about one thing, I don't like you.... " he notices my smile fade and he takes my face into his tattooed hands" I love you Y/N, always have and always will".

(Present day)

I am suddenly brought out of my memories by the door closing." Babe?" I hear Ronnie call out." Upstairs" I call back. I look down at the list of names in front of me. Ronnie comes in and follows my gaze." Why are you inviting her?" I smile and reply" I'm not"

I then grab an envelope and scribble her name on it. I then find a blank card and write a short message.before I seal the envelope, Ronnie takes it from me and smiles after reading:

'Katie, thanks for being fashionably late'.

[natasha-in-space]

A birthday gift to the lovely @marshmallowprotection <3

Wahh, happy birthday Kait!! I hope I am not too late with this... I hope this special day is going fun and/or relaxing for you, whatever you prefer! You are a real treasure in our little community, and we are all very very grateful for all you've created for us over the years. I'm sure you are a big inspiration to many! (Not outing myself at all here hehe) Your blog is a safe space for so many people, and I think that's beautiful. But what's more beautiful is all the love and passion you pour into your art. You give so much of yourself into your writings, so I hope today you'll feel all the appreciation and love from people around you! What better day to rest up and spoil yourself than your own birthday? I know Saeran is definitely smiling today, somewhere on the other side of the universe <3

And I hope you like my little gift! Ray and Lila have been through so many stories with you over the years, and I'm sure there are many more to come. I had a ton of fun working on it, even if I did rush a little to get it done in time. Lila's oddly relaxing to draw. I especially loved painting her hair!

[bloodanddiscoballs]

Alright I said I was gonna make a sappy post for my 30th birthday so here it goes!:

I never thought I would live to see 30. I know that many people say that, and I'm sure that sentiment isn't unique on here. Here's the thing; I'm disabled. I have almost died due to my health 3 times since 2011 and indeed did once before being brought back. My immune system is nonexistent, and my chronic pain has me at currently 6 reconstructive back surgeries and round the clock pain medication.

When I was 17 years old, I became a victim of medical malpractice and had my entire life changed in an instant. Didn't get to go off to college, didn't get to work normally, didn't get to move out - didn't, didn't, didn't. For years, I was told that I would heal. That I would be fine. I was young! Young people don't get sick. I'll bounce back. Just be patient. But I didn't get better, I got worse. And every year older was another year into my 20s where I wasn't able to do "the normal stuff." I never finished college, but I did get some classes done. I would work for a few months before needing to quit. I got married and then divorced. All "failures" due to my health.

At 27, I went to see my therapist and sat down and told her that I couldn't see into my future. I remember telling her, "Every day is hell. I can't do this for another 10 years. I've barely made it through this last 10. I don't even know if I can do it for another 3." I was at the end of my rope, convinced that I wouldn't make it. My back was crumbling underneath me again, and insurance was fighting me tooth and nail to be approved for another surgery. I was bedridden. I was on the highest medication load I've taken, and it wasn't even touching my pain. I wasn't connected to anything - not my art, not friends, not the world around me. I was looking very seriously at my options of what I thought was either suffering or dying.

So, she suggested a mindfulness program. It was a 6-week course at UCSD (University of California San Diego) that taught you how to. essentially, live in the moment. At first, I thought it was honestly the stupidest thing I'd ever heard. I'll admit that I was sour on it, but I said I would try it and I paid for the class so I did it. I sat through the meditations, wrote on the topics they gave, went through the exercises they instructed, and did the full day retreat. And at the end of those 6 weeks, I was alive again. I learned to savor every bite of my food. I learned how to pay attention to the sun on my skin. I learned to enjoy how it felt to have my air move in and out of my lungs. I learned how to look in the mirror and love what I saw and dress myself in what made me happy (this is when I started with the disco clothes). The warm feel of skin, the taste of my favorite soda, the beautiful way my cat purrs, the glorious smell of rain, the lovely way dust looks illuminated by the sun - I learned how to Live.

My life is still hard. My pain has not improved. I did get that surgery, so now my back is thankfully more stable than it's ever been. I know that I probably won't live a very long time compared to most, but none of that makes me sad anymore, not really. I have my bad days, and I have my good days, and no matter what, I live in the moment. I feel my emotions and let them have their space within me before letting them flow. And after over a decade of not touching my art because I felt like it was robbed from me, I paint now. I paint for myself, and I paint for others, and by God, I enjoy every second of it. I feed the little barn cats out in the back of where I live now, and I love them. I enjoy the sound of the wind through the oak trees, and I listen to my music, and I take pictures of the bugs. I watch the clouds race by when it's about to storm, and I talk to the flowers that grow outside my fence. I love my bed for holding me on my bad days and love that I have pretty artwork from friends hanging on my walls to comfort me when I can't leave my room. I dress up in my fun disco stuff whenever I can, and on the days I can't, I enjoy my soft, comfy pj's. I talk to my friends online every day and apologize for the days I can't when my pain makes it too hard to think. I play fun video games and watch good movies and enjoy fun podcasts. I Live.

Today, I am 30 years old. I have lived through what should have killed me many times over. And I am so, so happy I am here. And for however long I have, I will continue to live in the moment, enjoying the days and moments I can and allowing the bad to simply be bad. I plan for tomorrow because that is all I can plan for.

I live, and that is enough.

[blaiddllodi]

A glimpse of azure made him stop in his tracks. “Dimitri- there you are. I spent quite some time searching for you!” Thankfully the new clothes and equipment the Church had offered him made him more presentable- or so he hoped. Lambert wasn’t one to worry endlessly over fashion, but he had begun to feel rather self-aware. “Your friends are most likely waiting for you on your big day and I do not plan on holding you for too long…” 

…but, he wanted to. He was his only son, and this was the first time in five years that he got to live through another one of his birthdays. There was so much he wanted to say, all while no words sat in his mouth- it was a bit frustrating, if anything. 

It took him a short while to finally put together a sentence, breaking the silence with a short sigh. “I do remember back then, how small and timid you were…painfully adorable.” A small, fond smile. Still adorable, in his eyes at least. “You have grown a lot, since then. A sharp and respectable young man…who I am sure Faerghus will be the most proud of, once you rise as her king.” He took a step closer, placing a hand on Dimitri’s shoulder.

Another brief pause, icy irises searching- trying to process what to say, how to say it, settling with a frown. Those words had been fairly standard, if anything perhaps bland. Dimitri probably heard them countless times by now, and them painted in Lambert’s voice wouldn’t exactly make any difference in his heart, he figured.

Lambert scoffed to himself. “Why am I making this so difficult for myself, talking to my own son on his birthday like I am reading from a script…” Shaking his head, his features eventually settled with an easy smile. One that wasn’t rehearsed or plastered, a callback to almost half a decade before to a man not yet taken by death towards a boy not yet plagued by it. Fond, warm, familiar. “I am…not sure how to make up for all those birthdays that I missed, or even if I can do such thing. But now I can safely say I will be around for many more to come. I could not watch you grow from a lanky little boy into the proper young man standing before me…but I can at least watch you as you fully mature into an adult, now. This alone makes me happy.”

His eyes stung just a little bit, but Lambert wasn’t having it. He’d keep his composure sturdy, at least for now. Ensuring there were no prying eyes, Lambert finally wrapped his arms around the prince in a hug, cradling the back of his head gently. This was no Abyss, so their time together had to be brief much to the professor’s dismay. 

They had all the time in the world now.

Letting go of Dimitri, he then slipped a piece of paper into his hands with a grin, as well as a bundled package. “And these- are your gifts from me. I...originally, wished to give you the ring I got when I was first knighted, in my youth…but alas, I no longer have it in my possession. And I highly doubt anything I give you right now will be truly of use...”

The paper was an announcement for an upcoming game of joust, with two tickets clipped to it. As for the package, it was a standard dagger, the blade reinforced and engraved with the crest of Blaiddyd, though very obviously it hadn’t been done by any masterful blacksmith. Lambert did it himself.

“I can however, gift you my time and company. How about we watch it together? Even though I most likely will have to don my squire costume, but that is no issue.” Just a fun afternoon- no titles or obligations, simply time spent between father and son. “As for the dagger…well. Solid proof, that I am here to stay. And be there with you through your journey again.”

“Happy Birthday, Mitya. I love you, my boy. And always will.”

There was a certain rhythm that Dimitri had become used to, over the years, with regard to the date of his birth. There were many holidays that needed to be observed, some spiritual in nature, and some political, more for optics than for any hard-fought emotions - but in stark contrast to all of these was his birthday, and in the previous years this routine had wavered from the childhood he remembered.

It was difficult to discern whether or not this was part of growing up, but he continued to be told what a fine man he was becoming, and so had to believe that this was so.

Reasonable, then, that he could not have imagined anything from those golden halcyon days to return to him, and yet he saw the approach of Lambert in the high winter sun and he needed to blink to recognize that the visage was of the living, breathing man and not the shimmering ghost whose disappointment borne all the weight on his shoulders.

"Fa- Professor. You look well." The mild phrasing could not have belied the happiness in his tone, for there was a relief Dimitri felt at being able to say those words that he hadn't necessarily understood until he said them. When was the last time he'd even thought that there was a state of well or unwell for his father to fluctuate from?

Lambert, too, seemed to understand the strangeness of their situation, brick by brick as he spoke before it seemed to weigh him down with the anxiousness, the uncertainty.

The embrace was a shock, but one that Dimitri relished - he blinked, only the once, before he wrapped his arms around the broad form of his father, feeling the prick of warmth in his eyes, which he pressed away discreetly with his knuckles at the separation.

If someone had told him that this was his gift, it would have been sufficient, for this year and all that followed.

But there was more, not merely the activity of the joust, but of the knife - the tradition steeped into both gifts, the meaning and the symbolism heavy even within these simple tokens - and Dimitri found himself nodding along to every word that Lambert spoke.

"Ah! I - I would like that very much. I...I don't have anything happening at this time that cannot be rearranged it - " He paused, inhaled, feeling that very warm sensation behind his eyes again before he laughed.

"I cannot think of anything that I would like more."

[storybycorey]

Twenty questions for fanfic writers

Thank you I was tagged by @frogsmulder, Thank youuuu! 💜

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

82 holy cow!

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

258,068

3. What fandoms do you write for?

XFiles, then I also wrote one for The Fall

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Stay

Beyond the Strokes of a Typewriter

The Fox Mulder Phonetic Alphabet

The Today Series

Inevitable Things

5. Do you respond to comments?

Gosh I used to respond to every one, but it just got to be too difficult, and I got out of the habit. I still feel guilty about it. Now, if I get a really nice one on AO3, I'll respond though.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I think the last fic I wrote (Birthday Party) was probably the angstiest, both in ending and throughout, but I could be forgetting some along the way!

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Oh geez, most of them have happy endings, as a great majority of what I write is smut! Maybe It's a Brand New Day, since the timeline on that is current (baby #2), and it paints a positive picture of their future going forward.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I don't remember that I ever have, so I count myself lucky!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Does Mulder like sunflower seeds? Does Scully have Daddy issues? YES, I definitely write smut, almost exclusively. But it comes in all forms- sometimes dirty, sometimes angsty, sometimes fluffy, sometimes humorous, etc. etc. I write it in all forms.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

No, and I honestly don't really enjoy reading them either.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of, knock on wood.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I do seem to remember someone asking permission to translate a couple fics of mine a long time ago.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Meg (@msrafterdark) and I started with the thought of cowriting a fic about different points of the relationship where Mulder has spanked Scully, but we never really got it off the ground lol. Though I did release a portion that I wrote here.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Ugh, I started a fic many months ago about the two of them trapped in a closet together, but my interest in it has kind of fizzled out. So I don't know if I will finish it or not. Sigh.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I can write poetically and do beautiful things with words, and that makes me happy!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I am a sloooowwwww writer. Which means I don't do well with involved plots, etc, because then I'd never finish anything!

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I've never done it and don't expect I will in the future.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Formally, the XFiles, although I wrote out little scenarios for Scarecrow & Mrs. King, Moonlighting, and I think Cheers when I was a teenager.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

I never have a great answer for this, because they're all my babies!

I love my When the Lights Are Off series, love Once Upon a Time in a Basement, Inevitable Things, Stay... I don't know, I can't decide!

[onestormeynight]

The Birthday Party Pt. 2

Rosalie woke up from her nap around the time that B finally showed up. She looked as out of place as ever but was a welcome relief for Penelope. After some rushed introductions she ran upstairs to collect her daughter. Ricardo put candles on the cake while Penelope brought their babbling infant down the stairs.

Penelope helped her blow out her candles. After cutting the cake and serving out pieces she helped her baby try cake for the first time. Rosalie approved. She babbled and smashed her hands into the slice, smearing frosting over her rosy face.

After she was finished, Penelope put her in her playpen and sat down to eat her own slice. B, Lily and Ricardo were sitting at the table, still nibbling at their slices. B was closing her eyes between each bite, occasionally letting out a quite "dang, man, that's good."

Ricardo and Lily were on the same side of the table and a little too close for Penelope's liking.

"Oh my God, you are so funny, Ricky!" Lily exclaimed, lightly holding his upper arm. "I'm always so happy when you're around."

Penelope had had enough.

"Hey, Lily," she said, pointing finger guns at the girl across the table. "You should try shutting up. Like right now. I think you'd like it."

"Excuse me?!" Lily exclaimed.

"No, you heard me, I didn't stutter. I just...honestly, I'm surprised you're not wearing jeans or at least brought a bigger purse. I'm so confused on where you were carrying all this audacity."

"Pen--" Ricardo started.

"Oh, trust me, I'll get to you, too, boyfriend dear," she snapped. "I'm not done with the trollop here."

B took another bite of cake and nodded absently. "Yeah, man."

"You know, it's real rich that you come into my house, that I paid for by myself, to my baby's birthday party with my baby daddy who, last time I checked, was also still my boyfriend. Do you even know his kid's name, Lily? Did you happen to catch that while you were throwing yourself at Ricky?"

"O-Of course!"

"Oh? Then what is it? What's his baby's name?"

She gapped like a fish, caught on the spot, called all the way out.

"Pen, you are so far out of line right now," Ricardo snapped.

"Oh, I'm out of line? Me? From the man you invited this thirsty wretch over to my house without telling me? What am I going to find in all those texts, Ricky? Hand over your phone, let's have a read aloud. It's almost Rosie's nap time, let's read her to sleep, shall we!?"

Penelope was almost yelling. A manic smile was painted across her face. She could not wrap her head around how this was happening, how she was being made out to be the crazy one.

Ricardo was staring at her like she had grown additional heads, like her hair had turned to snakes and her teeth into fangs. Lily looked humiliated.

"You need to calm down," Ricardo finally said.

"What do you think, B?" Penelope said, turning to her only ally in the room. "Am I out of line? Do I need to calm down? Am I seeing things?"

B finished her last bite of cake and nodded appreciatively. Finally she looked at Penelope, then Lily and Ricardo.

"I think you two are pretty raggedy and if you don't want to be called out, you shouldn't do things that get you called out. Penny was more tolerant than I'd be."

Ending Credits: "Barbie Tingz" - Nicki Minaj

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