#happy birthday cici i like a normal man for once

[fbfh]

Bitch. I am thinking the most insane horned up thoughts about Jim Halpert. Thinking specifically about the end of season 3 era where he was applying for Jan's job at corporate. Hear me out. Jim gets the corporate job and you two bump into each other in the city. You have some little meet cute and think you'll never see each other again, then he gets the job and moves to new york and sees you at the same little coffee place where you first met and by god he thinks it must be fate. He pulls all his charming little Jim tricks and before you know it you're a stay at home girlfriend with a hot stable corporate boyfriend. Your friends have no idea how you bagged such a catch, and honestly neither do you, but Jim feels exactly the same way about you so he's always happy to treat you. He is into you. Like, really into you. I know in my soul he's a freaky kinky motherfucker, and I know for a fact that after a long day of red tape and corporate bullshit and meetings and small talk and conference calls, coming home to you is paradise. Especially since his favorite way to destress is to go down on you until he's fucked you completely stupid and his fingers are all wrinkled. And don't think he doesn't notice how turned on you get by the whole business corporate talk stuff. When he comes home and undoes his tie a little and rolls his sleeves up to the elbow while he tells you about quarterly report numbers, you can't keep your goddamn hands off of him. He was surprised at first, very pleasantly surprised, but Jim is smart. He caught on pretty quickly. So one day he comes home, throws you on the bed, and goes down on you for hours, still in his suit from work. Coincidentally, that was also the night he figured out how to make you squirt. Good luck with that, because Jim will tease you and rile you up more than he pranks Dwight.