#happy birthday alarik

[frozenprocedural]

Panic Attack

Set in the Costs an Arm and a Leg (CAAAAL) AU. Alarik and Beata belong to @patricia-von-arundel.

Brought out the Whump Stick for this one. Spot the Ted Lasso reference...

Happy Birthday, Alarik!

Panic Attack

Rating: T

Elsa struggled to swallow with a dry throat, raising a shaking hand to the door in front of her. 

Knock, just knock. You know how to.

Why was she so nervous? She and Alarik had been seeing one another for a few months now, and she'd always found herself completely at ease with his company- surprisingly so when she most often felt more comfortable around horses than people. It was, however, her first time visiting his apartment. The first time she'd been to any other home in a relationship, really. 

Elsa shook her head, took several grounding breaths- in for three, out for six- and forced herself to knock.

“Coming!”

Alarik's voice was muffled, though the clanging and crashing sounds were less so, and Elsa winced. She stepped back a second before the door swung open, revealing Alarik, his curls already springing out in all directions. 

“Hi! Come on in! It's not that big, I'm afraid, but I did clean up and tried to make some space…”

“Alarik.” She placed a hand on his arm, and he blushed. “I'm sure it's perfect. Thank you for having me over.” Somehow, seeing and hearing his nervousness made her own ease. As she stepped in, she noticed a delicious smell wafting through the air. 

“Something smells really good.”

Alarik grinned as he took her coat. “Lemon salmon pasta with asparagus and bread. Though I cheated a bit- the salmon and asparagus did come pre-seasoned. But I promise the pasta and bread are homemade.”

Her jaw dropped. “You made the bread and pasta from scratch? I can't believe- sorry! I didn't mean…” 

Alarik chuckled as he opened the oven door, grabbing a pan with a mitt-covered hand. “No worries, I understand. I really only make it for special occasions. You, of course, count as a very special occasion.” 

Elsa laughed at that. “We'll, then, I'll take your high praise. Perhaps some time you could teach me how to make those.”

“Perhaps.” Something flickered across Alarik's face, and he quickly turned back to the oven. Before Elsa could ask if anything was wrong, he turned back with a grin and a freshly-baked loaf of bread. “Well, dinner is served!”

………

After dinner and a movie, Alarik insisted that she take his bed and he would sleep on the couch. Despite her protests- his long frame barely fit- he refused to budge on the subject. Elsa finally relented, and was surprised to find how comfortable she was in his bed, surrounded by his faint scent. Sleep found her quickly.

She woke a few hours later, disoriented and panicky until she took a deep breath and remembered where she was. Elsa checked her phone- 3 am- and rolled over in an attempt to return to sleep when she heard a cry. 

“Alarik?”

Silence at first, then another cry, this one louder and longer than the previous. 

Elsa fumbled for the light, flicked it on, and grabbed her crutches. Within seconds she was in the main room, the moonlight revealing what she'd heard. 

Alarik thrashed and screamed, his face contorted in pain, eyes still closed. Elsa worried he might fall off given how violent his movements were. She maneuvered to the head of the couch, wary of his flailing arms, and freed a hand to touch his shoulder.

“Alarik!”

He jerked upright, eyes snapping open and flying back and forth across the room, looking for the unseen threat. His chest heaved, and she could see his entire body shake. 

“Alarik.”

He seemed unaware of her presence, still scanning the room, his breaths turning to shallow gasps. His hand clutched his chest, and Elsa knew right away what was happening. She turned on the lamp beside the couch, and then sat on the coffee table in front of him.

“Alarik. It's okay.”

He blinked, finally focusing on her, though his gasping and trembling continued. Elsa reached out and took his hand in both of hers, interlacing their fingers and squeezing tight.

“It's okay. Try to breathe.”

Alarik shook his head, still gasping for breath, his fingers tightening around hers. “I can- I can't. I can't… I don't know what's going on, I'm so sorry…”

“You're having a panic attack, Alarik. Just… breathe.”

Elsa pressed his hand to her chest, exaggerating her breathing so he could feel it. Alarik looked up, his eyes wide and wet. 

“I'm going crazy.”

Elsa rested her forehead on his. “No Alarik. No more than anyone else. It just feels that way. Here, try this with me. Breathe in for a count of three, hold it for three, out for six. Ready?”

She coached him, tapping her fingers on his until his shaking eased and his breathing settled. 

“There we go.” Elsa freed one hand to wipe the tears from his cheeks, keeping the other laced in his. “There we go. You're alright. You're safe.”

She kept murmuring reassurances until Alarik sank back into the couch, letting out a shaky breath. Elsa kept a hold on his hand, running her thumb along his knuckles. 

“Was this the first time this happened?”

“...no. I just… I didn't know what it was. I never knew what was going on when they happened.” 

Elsa kept her face neutral, even though she wanted to break down. Her panic attacks were bad enough, but at least she'd known what they were. “I'm sorry, Alarik.”

He shook his head. “Not your fault.”

Elsa sat with him in silence for several seconds, unsure how to broach what she'd witnessed. It was Alarik who spoke first. 

“I get nightmares. Reliving the accident. Not every night, but… they happen often enough. I don't know how much you know about what happened.”

Elsa lifted her shoulders in a small shrug. “I know you had an accident that ended up requiring amputation. But you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. I'm fine sitting here with you, or giving you space. Whatever you need.”

Alarik closed his eyes, exhaling a shaky breath. “I… I wanted to tell you eventually. It's just… hard for me to talk about it. But if you're okay hearing it, I do want to tell you.”

“Of course. I'm here, and I'm listening.”

Alarik remained quiet for so long, Elsa wondered if he decided he wasn't ready to tell her. Then he spoke in a soft, halting voice. 

“I was a senior in college, using a portable bunsen burner for a field experiment. When I went to light it…”

Alarik closed his eyes, his jaw going tense. “The investigators later said there must have been some damage to the butane tank it was attached to. Whatever it was, the entire thing exploded. I'd been reaching over to grab some other supplies, and there was a flash and a massive bang.”

A shudder racked Alarik's entire body, his grip like a vice. Elsa stroked his knuckles again, but said nothing, giving him the time he needed. After a shaky breath, he continued. 

“I was knocked back, and at first I was just disoriented and confused. I remember looking down and just not processing what happened for several seconds. I was… confused. Then I realized the thing I was looking at was what was left of my hand.”

Another shudder, and she could see tears tracking down his cheeks. Elsa took the corner of the blanket and wiped them away, murmuring “breathe” as she did. 

“The pain hit then, and I don't remember much else. It just… took over. I knew I was screaming, but I could only really hear the ringing in my ears from the explosion. Everything else really is just a blur- I was either passed out or in too much pain to take anything in. And I was eventually sedated. I had to be flown to the hospital by helicopter, but the only thing I remember is waking up in the hospital room, with my hand completely gone.”

“They had to amputate it.”

Elsa hadn't phrased it as a question, but Alarik nodded.

“There really wasn't anything left. And the risk of infection- between the shrapnel and the burns- was too high. And then there were subsequent surgeries for the burns on my arm. I spent two months in the hospital, and over a year in physical and occupational therapy. During that time, that's when the nightmares started. They've gotten better over the years, but… you saw what happens.”

Alarik sagged against the couch, clearly exhausted. Elsa squeezed his hand, and he looked down for a moment, before shifting his other arm out from under the blanket. He hesitated, then placed it between them. 

It was the first time she would see his limb without his prosthetic or a sleeve. Elsa immediately looked at his face, searching for any signs of doubt. 

“It's… okay. If you want to see it.”

“Only if you're certain.”

“I am. You've trusted me to see yours. I've just… it's hard for me.”

Elsa cupped his cheek. “And that's okay. You've had a traumatic experience. I'm happy to have your trust in this.”

Elsa finally allowed herself to look. Rope-like scars twisted the skin of Alarik's arm, up to his elbow, while a faint furrow bisected the stump of his wrist. Elsa reached out, but stopped short of his arm. 

“May I?”

Alarik's eyes widened as if he was surprised, but he nodded and moved his arm towards her. Elsa traced a finger over the ridges and divots, his skin warm against hers. She could feel Alarik begin to relax, and changed her tracing to a light massage. As she did, a thought came to her.

“Was this why you seemed… hesitant when I suggested you teach me how to make the bread and pasta?”

Alarik tensed up, and Elsa sucked in a breath, afraid she'd crossed a line and broken the trust he'd given her. But then he sighed and nodded.

“Yes. I can't really use my prosthetic while baking, and I'm still self-conscious about the scars, even after all these years. I'm sorry.”

“Alarik, there is nothing to apologize for. You have every right to choose if or when I saw something, especially something so personal and life-changing. The fact you trust me in this is important to me, and I'm grateful for it.”

Alarik made some small whimpering noise, and tears began to flow freely. Elsa transferred over to the couch and held her arms open. He sank into them with a sob, and she held him close, rubbing his back and ignoring the growing wet spot on her shirt. 

Eventually, Alarik pulled away, wiping at his face. Elsa raised a hand, forestalling another apology when he eyed the stain on her shirt. 

“Don't worry about it. But I think it's time to get you to bed.”

When Alarik started to lie down, Elsa shook her head. “Bed, Alarik. Not the couch. You barely fit on that tiny thing, and that won't help you get back to sleep.” When she saw the stubborn set of his jaw, she sighed. 

“Would you be happier if I slept next to you?”

Alarik's eyes went wide. “I… yes… but, are you sure?”

Elsa smiled, leaning over to press a kiss to his cheek. “I'm positive. Now, come on, to bed.”

………..

Being tucked up against Alarik was even more comforting than sleeping surrounded by his scent. Elsa rested her head against his chest, stroking his stump while he stroked her hair. She could already hear his breathing deepening, could feel his hand slow in its movements, and she knew he wasn't far from sleep. She snuggled a bit closer, letting her own heavy eyelids close.

They slept, peaceful and happy. 

……….

Two Weeks Later

This time, Elsa didn't knock when she reached Alarik's apartment. She simply turned the knob, entering with a cheerful “Hi Alarik!” as she nudged the door shut with her foot. 

“In the kitchen!” he called back. 

She stepped in to find the counter full of ingredients- flour, sugar, salt, among others. Alarik wore an apron, his sleeves rolled up past his elbows- a sight that sent a strange spark traveling through her. 

“Oh, are you making bread? Or pasta?”

Alarik grinned, and beckoned her over.  “Actually, I was hoping to teach you how to make bread today.

Elsa came to stand beside him. His stump remained in full view, and she smiled up at him, happy to see his comfort.

“I would love to.” 

[thesciencegoose]

Hey alarik, what are you gonna do for your birthday?

My wife. 😌

[12daysofelsarik]

TDOE Day 7

HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY @patricia-von-arundel! Gotta give her a horse fic for her birthday!

Here’s a fic gift from @couragedontdesertme and @frozenprocedural!

Rating: K

Ahtohallan

Elsa needed go for a ride. 

The past few months had seen her stressed, and every little thing seemed to set her off. Most recently, she’d had an argument with Alarik- a simple spat over an injury Alarik had accrued while exploring- that had ended with her in tears and running off to the water’s edge, calling for the Nøkk in a voice choked with sobs. 

Nøkk exploded from the water’s surface with a haunting whinny, shaking their head and nudging her with their nose, sensing her distress and sending her worried images in response. Elsa ran a hand over their neck in an attempt at reassurance, scrubbing stubborn tears from her eyes as she forced a smile. The Nøkk rested their head against her chest, humming softly.

“It’s alright, I’m fine. I just… need to get away for some time. Ready to ride?” Elsa held her hand out, ice collecting on the surface as she prepared to start the transformation. To her surprise, Nøkk took several rapid steps backward, shaking their head and nickering, a single, solid thought coming, not in the Nøkk’s normal way of images and emotions, but a single word- No. 

Elsa drew back, uncertain. Nøkk had never, never refused a ride. No matter the conditions, no matter her mood, they were always ready for a run. She let the power fade from her hand. “What’s… what’s wrong?” 

Nøkk looked at her, ears flicking nervously. They stepped forward once more, this time resting their muzzle closer to her belly, their bright eyes locking on hers. For a moment, they did nothing, then closed their eyes and sent a thought. It was the Nøkk’s perspective, moments earlier, as they rested their head on Elsa’s chest, listening to her heartbeat, as always. 

This time, however, there were two.

She staggered away from the water’s edge, thinking hard, trying to remember when her last cycle was. She had always been irregular, and usually thought nothing of a missed cycle.

Summer.

She hadn’t bled since summer.

Not since before…

The hidden spring they had found while exploring one day.

Elsa felt her vision swimming, and she blindly made her way to a tree, feeling the autumn leaves crunch beneath her feet. She leaned back on it, before feeling herself sliding down, down, until she was sitting at the base of the tree. She curled up around herself, hugging her knees to her chest, feeling tears prickling at her eyes. She buried her face in her knees, feeling her shoulders shaking with sobs.

After what seemed like a lifetime, she heard the crunch of boot stepping on a fallen twig, and looked up.

“Darling?” Alarik asked, eyes wide and worried. “I came to apologize, you were right, I shouldn’t have gotten myself injured like that, I promise I’ll be more careful…”

Careful…

They hadn’t been careful. If they had been more careful, if they had used protection, if, if, if…

She burst into tears. “I’m pregnant.”

The word broke something within her, and ice spread in a ragged circle, thick and spiked. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Alarik step closer and pulled back with a cry. He stopped where he was, but did not back up- he would never back away, only give her the space she needed. He lowered himself so he was at her eye level. 

“Elsa.” His tone remained calm and soothing, “Deep breaths. Deep breaths, calm yourself. You will be fine.” He spoke more, soft murmurings in both Norwegian and Swedish, a stream of words meant simply to help her calm down. Elsa pulled air into her lungs, struggling to comply, her world spinning. After a moment, her heart slowed, and the ice beneath her thawed, soaking her legs. She could hear Alarik’s steps sloshing through the water, and after one more shuddering breath, she turned, allowing him to wrap an arm around her and bring her away from the growing puddle. As soon as they were settled onto dry ground, Alarik pulled her close, running a hand through her hair in slow, reassuring strokes. 

“Deep breaths, darling. We can’t be entirely sure at this point-”

“Nøkk heard two heartbeats.”

Alarik’s eyes drifted over to Nøkk, who had remained standing in the breakers, eyes never wavering from the two of them. Upon noticing his gaze, Nøkk’s ears went back, and they snorted irritably. Alarik, for his part, merely narrowed his eyes before looking back to Elsa, who had managed a small smile at this point- the two of them had never truly gotten along. 

"I see."

“What if I can’t control my powers?” she whispered, looking up at him, eyes wide and wet. “It’s going to hurt, it’s going to be hard, I-”

“Darling,” he said, stroking through her hair, “we’ll practice. You’re going to be just fine.” He pulled her closer, pressing his lips to her brow. “Do you trust me on this?”

She looked up at him, “yes…” She did trust him. She trusted him with her life.

And with the life now growing inside her.

They sat quietly for a minute more, holding one another, processing. Eventually Alarik shifted, then stood, offering a hand to Elsa. She took it and stood herself, turning in the direction of Arendelle. 

"I'll have to tell Anna and Kristoff," she murmured. Alarik squeezed the hand he still held, following her gaze. 

"You don't have to, at least not right away. Give yourself the time you need. Anna will understand."

"No, I… I want to. As long as… will you come with me?" 

"Always, Elsa, always. I am always here for you." Alarik turned to her, eyes seeking permission. She lifted her head, and he brought his lips to hers. When they pulled away, he motioned towards the Northuldra village. 

"Do you want me to prepare a sled? We should be ready within a half hour."

"No need. Nøkk, will you take us? No, I know, not riding," Elsa added when Nøkk shook their head. She sent a mental image, and after a moment's hesitation, they bobbed their head in agreement. 

"Elsa, what-" Alarik's voice petered off as Elsa raised her hands, sending a shower of ice out onto the water. Within seconds, a sleek craft, somewhere between a sled and a boat, appeared, with slim strands of ice reaching out to wrap around Nøkk. Elsa chuckled at the wide-eyed look on Alarik's face, and motioned to the craft. 

"Let's go tell them."

……….

Many, many months later…

Elsa stood at the edge of the stream winding through the camp, baby Jenny resting securely in her sling against her chest. She leaned against Alarik, eyes closed as she called once more for the Nøkk. The water rippled and warped, and they exploded forth with a whinny. 

As soon as their gaze landed on Elsa, the water spirit’s head tilted, ears pricked. An image came to her, with a questioning emotion attached. Alarik started when Elsa burst out laughing. 

“They think I’m still pregnant- the sling is confusing for them. No, here she is.” With deft movements, Elsa unwrapped Jenny, settling the sleepy infant in her arms, lifting her so Nøkk could better see. The water spirit gave a sudden snort, stepping back and shaking their head. Elsa felt Alarik’s hand clench her shoulder, pulling her closer to him. 

More images and feelings, these tinged with worry.

Small. So small. Could hurt. 

“Oh, oh, it’s alright. Come here, Nøkk, you won’t hurt her.” 

“Hmph. So you say,” she heard Alarik mutter from behind her. She gave him a quick shove, rolling her eyes. Nøkk gave him a much more aggressive snort before approaching Elsa once more, head low. They stretched their neck, nostrils flaring as they took in Jenny’s scent. Alarik’s hand tightened again, but Elsa remained still, letting Nøkk continue their inspection. 

After a few more sniffs, Nøjk reached forward and tentatively placed the tip of their muzzle on Jenny's chest. Jenny shifted, her eyes fluttering open, but before Nøkk could pull away, she raised a hand, resting it on their nose. 

Elsa had never seen Nøkk's eyes go quite as wide as they did then. Their entire body appeared to glow, and a shudder worked its way through them. A bevy of emotions and thoughts flooded Elsa's mind, chief among them being an overwhelming sense of protectiveness and love. Nøkk had fallen completely and irrevocably in love with Jenny, and was willing to protect her with every fiber of their being. Elsa felt tears sting the corners of her eyes at the thought. She rested her forehead on Nøkk's.

"Thank you, my friend."

After a few moments, Nøkk pulled away, prancing and snorting, flinging their head towards their back in a clear indication of their intent. Elsa hesitated, looking down at Jenny with concern. Alarik removed his hand and grabbed the sling, securing it around Elsa's shoulder once more. When she looked at him in surprise, he smiled and gave her forehead a kiss.

"Go. You'll both be fine. I'll see you when you come back." He looked at Nøkk, giving them a stern look. "You will keep them safe, do you hear me?"

For once, Nøkk didn't respond with their normal bluster. Instead, they lowered their head, sending one clear thought to Elsa.

"Always," she echoed. Alarik relaxed- smiled even, before offering a hand as Nøkk lowered to their knees. Elsa took a breath and swung on, feeling a rush of adrenaline when Nøkk stood. Alarik adjusted Jenny's sling once more before placing a hand on Nøkk's hindquarters. 

"Have a good ride. Both of you." He stepped back as Elsa coated Nøkk in ice, and turned them inland. With one more check to see that Jenny was secure- she was, in fact, sleeping soundly- Elsa touched her heels to their sides.

"Let's go for a ride."

[insectoid5]

Just some nonsense for Alarik's birthday.

@shardsofarendelle @agdarjr... Sorry, my hand slipped. 😅😂

*Two blue ghosts observe the birthday celebration at Arendelle Castle*

Agdar: Idunn, why are they giving the tall ginger a birthday party?

Idunn: ...because it's his BIRTHDAY, maybe?

Agdar: Gingers have no souls, Idunn, why would they have birthdays??

Idunn: We gave you birthday parties.

Agdar: I AM THE KING, EVERY DAY IS MY BIRTHDAY.

Idunn: *facepalms*

[archosauriansworld]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALARIK!!!

Decided to whip this up for @shardsofarendelle‘s character Alarik (In case you couldn’t tell, it is his birthday today). Happy birthday ya big nerd!

Alarik belongs to @shardsofarendelle, the others belong to me

[naturepointstheway]

elsa and alarik, 2. “Great. It’s raining dorks and clowns.” “So how’s that different to cats and dogs?" thank you! ^_^

Elsa wasn’t sure what to expect when she returned home, sopping wet from the rain, but being almost bowled over by Alarik and Anna no sooner had she cracked the door open, certainly was a surprise. 

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SIS!” 

“Happy birthday, darling.” 

“Great, it’s raining dorks and clowns,” Elsa remarked with utmost amusement, even as her heart melted with all the love lavished on her. 

“So how’s that different to cats and dogs?” Anna wished to know.

Wrapping her arms around her loved ones, she murmured, “My dorks and clowns are warm and make me happy, not wet and miserable.” 

“Cheesy,” Anna evaluated in a light tone. 

“I like it,” Alarik whispered, “You’re never too cheesy for me, Elsa.”

[thesciencegoose]

For my birthday, we went to the Sydney Blue Carpet premiere of The Little Mermaid!

[frozenprocedural]

Storms

A very, very happy birthday to the one and only @bepoets! I hope it’s a great one!

This is set in @patricia-von-arundel‘s Shardsverse. Alarik and Jenny belong to her. This is just pure fluffiness.

Storms

Rating: K

The first time Alarik witnessed Elsa's fear was during her visit to Leisalla. 

They were eating together- Knut, Beata, Elsa and himself- when lightning lit the hall so bright it seemed to be mid-day. Less than a second later, thunder roared, shaking the windowpanes and causing them all to jump in their seats. 

Alarik laughed with Beata and Knut, but after a few seconds, he noticed that Elsa had not joined them. Instead, she stared at the windows with wide eyes, and Alarik thought he could see her shaking. As soon as she noticed his gaze, however, Elsa schooled her features, carefully placing her fork by her plate and excusing herself, stating exhaustion. 

Alarik almost rose to follow her, but then remembered Elsa's rebuke from after the trial. He didn't know her. 

He remained where he was, hating the helpless feeling in his gut as he watched her disappear down the hallway. 

……….

The second time was during Alarik's early visits to Arendelle- still a stranger then, but somewhat more familiar with Elsa than he'd been in Leisalla.

He was coming back from the library, so focused on his studies that he almost ran into Elsa in the hallway. He opened his mouth to apologize, but was interrupted by a rumble of thunder. Elsa leapt back, and he saw a coating of frost encase the paper she was holding. 

"Elsa? Are you…"

She stepped back, eyes wide as she shook her head. Frantic, jerky movements that made him think of a trapped prey animal, terrified and ready to run. He took a step back of his own, giving her space, trying to find the right words to say, something that may provide her with a measure of comfort. 

He could find nothing. 

"Elsa? I'm here."

Anna stood beside Alarik, giving him a meaningful jerk of her head. He caught the hint, leaving the pair as Anna continued to talk to Elsa in tones too low for him to hear. 

Hours later, Anna found him in the library. He couldn't sleep, still replaying the event in his head, Elsa's terrified face haunting him. He hated how he couldn't help her, couldn't provide even the smallest amount of comfort.

"How is Elsa doing?" Perhaps it was far too familiar of a question, but he needed to know. 

Anna took a seat on the couch beside him, running a hand over her face. There was exhaustion there, and a look of profound sadness. 

"As well as to be expected, I suppose. The worst of the storm's over at least. Still, I doubt she'll sleep much tonight."

Silence stretched between them, but Alarik once more lacked the ability to come up with something to say. He didn't have to, as Anna broke the silence.

"Neither of us do well with storms. Not since our parents died." She cast a sidelong glance in Alarik's direction, and he nodded in understanding. 

"I think it's something Elsa's never been able to come to peace with. I remember her asking them if they…" Anna's voice broke, and Alarik saw a tear running down her cheek. Taking a chance, he offered a hand and she took it, squeezing hard. 

"She asked them if they had to go. And… they never came back. Elsa… I'm sure she thinks it's her fault, no matter how ridiculous that is. But she… well.."

Anna looked away, and Alarik could hear her quiet sobs. He patted his pockets, wishing he had a handkerchief to offer.

"I'm so sorry…" What more was there to say?

Anna sniffed and wiped her nose on her sleeve, giving a rueful chuckle. "Don't tell Elsa- she hates when I do that."

She sighed, standing up and clasping her free hand over his. "Thank you. For caring." 

He only wished he could do something more. 

………..

The third was a decade later, when he faced his truth and admitted what needed to be admitted. When he and Elsa both finally accepted that the feelings between them were something far more than just a friendship. 

Anna, Kristoff and Neta had taken a trip to the summer lodge, while he and Elsa remained behind to finish various projects. Alarik was in his lab when he heard the first clap of thunder. He was deep in his work, hardly able to be distracted by the weather, but something kept niggling at his mind. 

When another thunderclap shook the windows, he remembered instantly. 

Elsa!

He was out the door in seconds, leaving his notes behind, rushing as fast as his feet could carry him. He heard a few startled cries from the servants as he dashed past them, but he didn't stop- not until he reached the door to her study.

Only then did he pause, making himself take several deep, steadying breaths. He needed to be calm. For her. 

Once his heart rate and breathing slowed, Alarik tapped on the door with his knuckles. 

"Elsa, it's me. May I come in?"

"I'm f-" Her voice cut off at another roll of thunder, and he could hold back no more. Alarik pushed the door open and felt an immediate drop in temperature. What he saw inside made his heart sink.

Elsa was still sitting at her desk, but she was curled in on herself, flinching with each flash of lightning. Her desk was coated in a thick rime, and a small pool of ice sat at her feet. She was shaking- not from the cold, he knew well.

"Elsa." Even his gentle tone was enough to make her start, spikes of ice forming on the desk. She shook her head, scrambling off the chair, putting more distance between them, and he stopped. Another boom of thunder, and she yelped. 

"Elsa," he tried again. "I'm here." Repeating those words Anna had spoken so long ago. "I won't come any closer. Not until you're ready. But I'm right here. You're not alone. I'm right here."

Elsa watched him with wide eyes, but after a moment, she nodded her permission. He stepped in- slowly, gauging her reaction- and held his hands out. He kept up a stream of murmured reassurances, and when lightning flashed again, Elsa let loose a sob and collapsed into his arms. He pulled her close, running a hand through her hair. 

Some tiny part of his mind brought forth the idea that this wouldn't be proper- him holding her in what could be considered an intimate manner before their marriage, but just as quickly as it arrived, he mentally swept it away. Propriety be damned- Elsa needed him. 

So he held her tight, heedless of the cold, hoping that his own warmth would help. He lost track of how long they sat there- certainly long enough for his back and joints to start aching. But he made no effort to ease the pain.

Eventually, as the storm quieted, so did Elsa. She sniffed and shifted, and he released his hold enough that she could sit back, although he remained close enough their legs still touched. Elsa pulled out a handkerchief and dabbed at her eyes and nose. Alarik couldn't hold back a small smile, remembering how Anna had used her sleeve those many years ago. It dropped when he saw how exhausted Elsa looked.

Elsa glanced around the room and sighed, closing her eyes. The ice around her desk began to recede, dripping onto the floor, but she clearly lacked the strength to dissipate it fully.

"There go the last three hours of work. At least they were documents I was writing." Elsa's voice was more resigned than upset.

"I'm sorry." Alarik got to his feet, wincing at his sore muscles, then offered Elsa a hand and helped her to her feet. She wouldn't meet his eyes.

"No, I'm sorry you had to… deal with that. It's not fair to you."

"Elsa, no." He took her hands in his, squeezing them gently. "There's no 'fair' in this. And it's nothing I have to 'deal' with either. I love you, and I am here for you. No matter what."

She finally looked up at him, and he used his thumb to brush away the tears at the corner of her eyes. After a moment, she nodded, and rested her head against his chest. He could just barely hear her whispered "Thank you."

Alarik pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "I'll walk you to your room, if that's alright."

They left the study hand in hand.

……….

When Jenny was three years old, everything changed. 

Alarik was jarred awake by a roar of thunder that rattled thr windows. He blinked a few times, trying to get his bearings, and recognized the drumbeat pattern of heavy rain. 

And something else.

A whimper, so soft he almost missed it. But it drove away the last vestiges of sleep more effectively than the thunder had.

"Elsa."

She was still asleep, but her face was tight with fear, her body jerking with small, sharp movements. He could see small semicircles of frost surrounding the tips of her fingers. He stroked a finger down her shoulder, trying to wake her carefully so as not to cause more panic. 

It didn't matter, because that moment, the loudest crack of thunder caused her to jolt awake, her hands clutching the sheets that had frozen beneath them, and scream. 

"Elsa! It's alright! I'm right here. You're safe." Alarik kept his hand on her arm, hoping the contact would help calm her down. Elsa cast a wild glance around the room before her eyes landed on him. She whimpered, curling away from him, but before he could speak, another scream sounded. But not from Elsa.

"MAAAAMMMAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!! PAAAAAAAPPAAAAAA!!!!!!!!"

Elsa straightened and leapt out of the bed, dashing to the door and throwing it open. Jenny stood there, clutching her stuffed rabbit and bawling. Elsa scooped her up into her arms, holding her close. Jenny buried her head in Elsa's shoulder, and even from where he was, Alarik could see she was shaking. 

"Shhhh, little one, shhhh. It's alright. We're here, and you're safe."

Elsa carried Jenny back to their bed and climbed in, nestling her between the two of them. Alarik reached out and smoothed a stray curl away from Jenny's face, and used his thumb to brush away a tear. 

"Did the storm scare you, Eldig?"

Jenny nodded, then ducked her head with a muffled shriek when lightning flashed yet again. When thunder followed it, Alarik snuck a quick glance at Elsa, expecting to see signs of fear. To his surprise, while he did see lines of worry on her face, it was clearly due to Jenny's distress rather than the storm. She pulled Jenny closer, pressing a kiss to the crown of her head.

"Storms can be scary, little one. Even to me."

At that, Jenny's head shot up. "You're scared too?"

Elsa's eyes flicked to the window, then back to Jenny. "Yes, little one. But I am surrounded by people who love me and are brave. Your Papa, of course. And Aunt Anna and Uncle Kristoff."

"And Neta! Neta's very brave."

Elsa chuckled. "That she is. And there is one other very important person who helps me."

Jenny wrinkled her nose in confusion. Alarik noticed that neither she nor Elsa flinched with the next flash of lightning. 

"Who?"

Elsa kissed Jenny's forehead. "You, Jenny. You help me so much."

Jenny's face lit up, then fell a bit. "But I'm still scared!"

"And that's alright. Just being here helps me."

"Oh." Jenny yawned, laying her head down on Elsa's pillow. "Okay. Love you Mama." Her voice was thick with sleep. Within moments, she was snoring softly, one hand clutching a handful of Elsa's night shirt. 

Alarik tucked a blanket around Jenny, even though he knew it wouldn't stay on her for long. Catching Elsa's questioning look, he nodded and wrapped an arm around the both of them, feeling his own drowsiness grow. 

"Let's let her sleep here tonight. It will be good for all of us."

Elsa turned her head to kiss his fingers. "Thank you," she whispered, so softly he almost missed it. 

"You're welcome, min älskling. Sleep well."

He fell asleep, happy to know that Elsa's fear was abated. 

[frozenprocedural]

Costs an Arm and a Leg

Happy birthday @couragedontdesertme!

Here’s the first chapter to a story that’s been tumbling around in my head for a while. Alarik and Beata belong to @patricia-von-arundel.

Costs an Arm and a Leg, Chapter 1

Meeting

Rating: K+

Cold air that made her breath steam. The comforting smell of leather and horse. Shouts and cheers filled the air, making Nøkk prance and snort.

"Soon," Elsa murmured, and he lowered his head into her arms. She pushed aside his forelock to stroke the snowflake-shaped star on his forehead, humming a tune to help him calm down. Nøkk settled, though his ears kept flicking back and forth. 

"He's just ready to crush the competition."

Anna slid up next to them, and Elsa shook her head.

"Anna, it's a local event. It's not like we're here to win anything."

"Just to win."

Any reply Elsa may have had died when a volunteer waved at them, beckoning them towards the waiting area behind the starting line. 

They were next. 

Elsa checked the cinch one last time, then crossed over to Nøkk's other side, swinging up onto his back. She pushed her left boot into the stirrup and tightened the reins a bit when Nøkk tossed his head and pranced. She stroked his neck, trying to even out her breathing. She wouldn't say it out loud, but she was just as excited as they were.

She looked back at Anna, throwing her the other end of the long length of rope tied to the saddle horn. Anna caught it with a grin.

"Are you ready?" Elsa asked.

"I was born ready!"

Elsa laughed and tapped Nøkk's side. He stepped up to the starting line, standing still. But Elsa could feel his tension as he waited for his chance. The officiant waved, and Elsa leaned forward. 

"Gå."

Nøkk exploded into a gallop, sending snow flying. Elsa could just hear Anna's exhilarated cry over the pounding of hooves, and she found herself grinning. This was what she lived for- the rush, the feeling of sheer power beneath her as Nøkk ran. 

There was no better feeling. 

The end was in sight- just two more jumps left. Elsa knew they had made good time, could feel the rope sliding easily back and forth- Anna was moving well. 

Something slid in front of Nøkk.

A person rushed forward.

And everything went to hell.

…….

"I don't get it."

Despite the fact she was currently walking in front of him, Alarik swore he could hear Beata's exasperated sigh. 

"You don't get what, Beowulf?"

"Why anyone in their right mind would want to do ski…jumping."

"Skijoring."

"That too. You're tying yourself to a one-ton animal-"

"Half-ton. No one uses draft horses for this. And the skiers aren't tied to the horses, they just hold a rope."

Alarik rolled his eyes. "Does it really make a difference? You're still attaching yourself to a large, potentially dangerous animal, running at high speeds, all while strapped to two thin pieces of- whatever skis are made of. Why!?"

This time, Alarik knew he heard Beata's sigh. "Because it's fun, Alarik. That's why. Not everyone finds enjoyment tinkering in a lab all day. Some people actually enjoy doing something fun."

"I do enjoy fun activities! Just not ones that could end in grievous injury!"

Beata just rolled her eyes. "Look, all you have to do is watch while I take pictures. And maybe try to enjoy yourself a bit.”

Someone called Beata's name, and she hurried away, calling "I'll be right back!" over her shoulder. 

Alarik wandered up to the fence, watching another skijoring pair fly by. The skill involved was impressive, and he had to admit watching the event was fun. Being involved in it was an entirely different matter. 

A steady beeping caught his attention, and he looked down to see the battery light on his arm flashing a warning red. Alarik cursed, looking around for some place that might have an outlet. Hadn't he charged it last night? Or had he forgotten? He tugged on the arm to pull it off. 

Someone jostled him from behind just as the arm slipped free, and his hand inadvertently opened. The momentum sent the prosthetic flying right out onto the track.

Alarik didn't hesitate, didn't stop to think about what he was doing. The flimsy plastic netting that formed the fence offered no real barrier, and he was out on the track in seconds. Only when he grabbed his prosthetic and finally registered panicked screaming from behind him did Alarik realize just how grave of an error he'd made.

The horse charging down the track may not have weighed a ton, but it was more than heavy enough to injure him badly. Perhaps even kill him. 

Alarik knew there was no way he could move out of the way in time. Even if he could, his body had seized up, only allowing him to watch in terror as the horse bore down. 

The horse, at least, seemed to have much more sense than he did. With a snort, it swerved to one side, missing Alarik by mere inches. Snow was tossed into his face, and the smell of sweat wafted by him, and then it was over. 

He was still alive.

A scream split the air. 

………

Nøkk tried to clear the jump. 

Elsa didn't even have enough time to pull on the reins before Nøkk lunged to one side, just barely clearing him. She didn't have much time to be relieved, however, as his new path took him directly onto a ski jump. 

Nøkk was no stranger to jumping, but they were both rattled, and he was off stride. His legs must have caught on the snow, as his whole front dropped, and Elsa was thrown over his head and onto the ground below.

The impact drove the breath from her lungs, but before she could process it, a massive weight landed on her shoulder, and something inside cracked.

If Elsa had the breath to scream, she would have. 

……….

Even from where he was sprawled, ten feet away, Alarik could hear the rider's bone break.

He scrambled to his feet, ice making him uncoordinated, and stumbled over to the pair. He wasn't entirely sure what he was going to do, but he needed to help somehow. 

The horse was up first, the whites of its eyes flashing, its nostrils flaring. The rider's foot was caught in the stirrup, and she was being dragged with each frantic movement the horse made. 

Alarik knew little to nothing about handling horses, nevertheless, he started forward, pressing the now-dead prosthetic onto his stump. He raised his hands, one curled into a useless fist. 

"Easy, easy…"

"Get out of the way!"

Someone pushed Alarik to the side, grabbing the horse's reins. He realized it was the skier, and within moments, she had the horse under control. By that point, the rider's foot had fallen free. 

No, not her foot. 

Her leg. Or rather, the upper half of her left leg, one that stopped midway down the calf. The rest was a prosthetic, still clinging to the stirrup. 

Alarik crouched by the rider's side, getting a good look at her for the first time. Pale blonde hair sprawled beneath her helmet, and icy blue eyes gazed into his own. He reached out, only to have his hand smacked away.

"Don't you dare touch her!"

The skier was crouched beside the rider, and Alarik could see the clear resemblance between the two- save for the skier's hair being as red as his own. 

"I was trying to help…"

"Help!? You shouldn't have even been on the track in the first place! What the hell were you thinking!?"

"I got bumped when I was trying to check my arm. It went onto the track. I…"

The skier glanced at his arm, and shook her head, making a shooing gesture. 

"Just… go."

Alarik felt a hand on his shoulder, and looked up to see Beata. She jerked her head to the side, and he allowed himself to be led back to the sidelines.

"That was… stupid."

"I know."

Alarik glanced back to see an ambulance had arrived. The EMTs were loading the rider onto the stretcher, while a tall, broad man led the horse away. 

"I'm sorry." He whispered as the rider was loaded into the ambulance. 

As if she'd somehow heard him, she turned and locked eyes with him.

…….

"Nøkk? Is…he..alright?"

The pain in Elsa's arm made concentrating difficult, and speech near impossible. But she had to know. 

"He's fine." Anna's hand rested on her good shoulder. "Kristoff has him right now. But you're not."

Elsa grunted. She could hear the approaching ambulance. She didn't want to go to the hospital, but she knew there was no choice. 

As she was loaded onto the stretcher- a process that jostled her injured arm and made her yell- her head flopped to the side, and she caught sight of the man who had caused everything. Bright green eyes locked into her own, and she could see the apology written on his face.

Then she was sliding into the ambulance, and the man's face was replaced by metal walls. 

Elsa couldn't shake the niggling feeling that she would be seeing him again. 

[frozenprocedural]

Happy Birthday Alarik!

Happy 207th birthday to one Alarik Geatland. The goose belongs to @patricia-von-arundel. I just take him out for walks.

Rating: K

Whimpering cries woke him, ones he recognized well. 

Hungry. She's hungry. 

Alarik rubbed the clinging remnants of sleep from his eyes, sitting up with a yawn. The grey half-light of dawn was filtering through the windows. Beside him, Elsa made a sleepy noise and began to rise. He rested his hand on her arm to stop her, already rising from the bed. 

"I've got her."

Elsa didn't argue, and he caught sight of a small smile before she ducked her head and began working loose the buttons of her nightgown. He grinned as he stood, making his way to the bassinet in the corner. 

Jenny's eyes were shut tight, fists and legs squirming ineffectively against the blankets as she wailed her hunger. He freed her from the blankets and scooped her against his chest, bouncing her in his arms as he made his way back to Elsa's side. She had her nightgown lowered, and held her arms out to accept her daughter.

As Elsa situated Jenny, Alarik settled himself back into the bed, careful not to jostle either of them. Elsa scooted over, maneuvering herself so she could rest against his chest, sighing with contentment. Alarik leaned around her to stroke the soft down of Jenny's hair with a finger, finding himself marveling yet again at the perfect being created by their love. He caught Elsa smiling at him, and pressed his lips to her cheek. 

They sat in contented silence for several minutes until Elsa suddenly stiffened with a startled gasp, causing Jenny to let out an indignant whine when her nursing was interrupted. 

"Elsa? He looked about, but could see nothing physically wrong with either of them.

"Your birthday! Alarik, it's your birthday! I completely forgot!"

Alarik shook his head, wrapping his arms around Elsa's to help her re-situate Jenny. Once they were both settled in, he kept his gentle hold. 

"Elsa, it's fine! You just gave birth barely three weeks ago. It's perfectly fine." He ran his hands up and down her arms, hoping to sooth the slight tremors he felt. They eased, somewhat, but he could still feel tension in her muscles. 

"But I still could have asked Anna to plan something! She didn't say anything!"

"Because I asked her not to."

Elsa swung her head around so quickly Alarik had to jerk his chin away to avoid getting hit. Her eyes were narrowed. 

"I asked her not to because all I want for my birthday is to be with both of you." He said quickly, and resumed stroking her arms in what he hoped was a soothing manner. "This is all I could ask for. You, Jenny, and this time together."

Her eyes softened, but she still looked uncertain. "Are you sure?"

He nodded. "I am. This is the greatest gift I could ask for." He worked a sleepy Jenny free and burped her as Elsa pulled her nightgown back into place. Jenny burbled and snuggled against him, her eyelids fluttering. A soft knock at the door made them both turn. 

Anna peeked in with a big smile, holding a breakfast tray loaded with food. She crept in, placing the tray on the table next to Alarik before reaching over to give him a one-armed hug. 

"Happy fortieth birthday! I know, I know, you said you just wanted time with your family. But I'm family too, so you have to deal with it. Besides," She took Jenny from Alarik and held her close, "I need to say hello to my niece. You get her all day, don't complain. Get something to eat, I got all your favorites." Anna nodded towards the tray.

Alarik pulled it onto the bed, spying baked cod, kroppkaor, kaffeost and a fresh cup of coffee for him. Anna had also included pickled herring, fresh and candied fruits, various breads, tea and a large slice of chocolate cake. 

"I know you're strange and don't eat chocolate, so that's for Elsa." 

Alarik rolled his eyes and Anna stuck out her tongue as she handed Jenny back over to him. She hugged Elsa before skipping out the door, calling back over her shoulder: "Happy birthday old man!"

Alarik shook his head as he settled back into bed, pulling Elsa close and letting Jenny rest in the crook of his arm. A very happy birthday indeed.

[frozenprocedural]

Happy, happy birthday to my amazing, incredible and sweet friend @couragedontdesertme! Thank you to @comickergirl for this commission!

This takes place in @couragedontdesertme‘s Whisking Star AU (find it here!) Poor Elsa has to take care of her other child Alarik...

I will eventually have a story to go with this... at some point...

[frozenprocedural]

Another commission done by the talented @comickergirl! Here’s @patricia-von-arundel‘s Jenny, the daughter of Elsa and Alarik. Fierce, lovable girl!

And, for her birthday, here’s a story from me.

Jenny’s first ride

In the grey half-light before dawn, Elsa stepped out of her family's cabin and strode the few steps to the creek running alongside it. She watched the water flow, her hands folding together in a movement that was familiar and comforting. 

You're being ridiculous, she told herself. She’ll do fine.

She dropped her hands to her sides, fists clenching her tunic, her mind in turmoil. Her emotions must have been felt, for the water churned and Nøkk burst forth with a whinny.

"Shhhhh." Elsa wrapped her hands around Nøkk's muzzle, shooting a quick glance in the direction of the cabin, only relaxing when she didn't see it hear anything from within. Nøkk made a soft noise, sending Elsa an apologetic feeling and ducking their head. However, they couldn't completely quell their excitement- Elsa could feel it bubbling throughout Nøkk's entire being. 

"I know." Elsa rested her head against Nøkk's, trying to keep her anxiety hidden. It did no good, and she felt Nøkk send a questioning emotion. Elsa let her thoughts pass to them, finding relief in acknowledging her fears as she ran her hands over the flowing water that made up Nøkk’s form. They responded by rubbing their head along her back, burbling and sending reassurance. 

“You’re right, I’m just being absurd. Hey!” Elsa leapt back when Nøkk butted her shoulder and splashed her feet with a small wave. They turned their head so their eye stared into hers. 

You are a mother.

Elsa felt a tear trickle down her cheek. She lowered her head once more to meet Nøkk’s.

“Thank you, my friend.” 

They rumbled softly, nudging her forehead before pulling away and staring intently at the cabin. They stomped a hoof and snorted. Elsa smiled.

"Alright, alright. I'll call for you when we're ready."

With a final nicker, Nøkk shrank back into the water.

……

Jenny woke to a long churr followed by a staccato peer and saw a pair of beady eyes staring back at her. 

"Hi, Bruni!"

Bruni spun in a circle, repeating the churr-peep sound -his way of saying her name. Jenny laughed and took him in her hands, rubbing her nose against his. 

Then she remembered.

"It's my birthday!" 

She was five. 

Bruni leapt onto the top step of the loft ladder as she sprang out of bed and pulled on her pants and tunic. As Jenny made her hasty way down the ladder, he jumped on her shoulder, racing back and forth as he got caught up in her excitement. 

“Mama! Papa! It’s my birthday! I’m five years old!” 

Mama and Papa were sitting by the hearth- Papa flipping the flatbread for breakfast while Mama fed Dag. Both of them turned to smile at her as she bounded over. 

“Five already? Are you quite sure, Eldig?” Papa reached over and swept her up with a grin, chuckling when Jenny shrieked as he lifted her toward the ceiling, Bruni leaping from her shoulder. 

"Yes, Papa, I'm sure!" He placed her back on the ground and kissed her forehead. 

"Well, then, five it is. Happy birthday, Eldig."

"Yes, happy birthday, little one." Mama, finished with feeding Dag, passed him over to Papa and opened her arms, grunting softly when Jenny dove into her embrace. “Are you ready for today?” 

“Yes!” Jenny jumped up and down, unable to contain her joy. Not only would she be celebrating with the Northuldra, but Mama had told her that they would be taking a trip to Arendelle to see Aunt Anna, Uncle Kristoff and, best of all, Neta.

“Breakfast first,” Mama chided, and before Jenny could argue, Papa leaned forward and placed a small pitcher of cream and a plate of dried blackberries on the table in front of her. 

Maybe it was not quite as good as the cake Aunt Anna had snuck her for breakfast on her birthday last year, but Jenny supposed it would do.

…………

As afternoon came around, Jenny skipped down to the cliffs edging the fjord, followed by Mama and Papa, who carried Dag. Her morning had been fun, with presents from the Northuldra. Her favorite had been the small bone knife Aunt Honeymaren had gifted her- “The blade isn’t even sharpened!” Honeymaren insisted to Mama when she protested- with its own little sheath that Jenny immediately tied to her belt. 

Jenny rushed ahead, ignoring Mama’s call of “careful!” as she started down the path leading to the shoreline. She arrived at the water’s edge and ran her hands through the breakers. She grinned when a large bubble grew on the surface and surged towards her, forming into the familiar shape of…

“Nøkk!” 

Jenny threw her arms around Nøkk’s leg- the only part she could reach- and hugged them tight, giggling when they nuzzled the top of her head, splashing her with a bit of water. They lifted their head and nickered when Mama approached and Mama embraced their head, running her hands over their neck. As soon as Papa came close, their ears flattened and they stomped their back leg with a snort. Jenny swatted at Nøkk’s knee. 

“Be nice, it’s just Papa.” Nøkk snorted again, and Mama chuckled, patting their side. 

“She is right, you know. Be nice. Now, are you ready, friend?” They grunted, then nodded. Mama raised her hands, and a sled-like boat formed behind Nøkk, gossamer strands of ice twisting and turning to form a harness. Papa spread the blankets he’d brought over the boat’s icy surface, and Jenny stood next to Nøkk’s side, bouncing with excitement as she waited for Mama to join her. 

Riding Nøkk was the best thing ever, even better than cake or her new knife. 

Jenny looked up to see Mama had returned to resting her head against Nøkk’s, and she knew that Mama was having her quiet conversation with them, the way she did with all the spirits. Jenny wondered what they needed to talk about- couldn’t they just get going!? 

Mama sighed, then patted Nøkk’s neck before stepping away. “Okay.”

Nøkk lowered themself to the ground, and Jenny hopped on their back, waiting for Mama to get on behind her. To her surprise, Nøkk stood, turning to watch her with one bright eye.

“Mama?” Jenny turned to look in her direction. 

Mama reached up to squeeze Jenny’s knee, a small smile on her face. 

“Happy birthday, little one. It’s time for your first ride- on your own.”

“Really!?” Jenny bounced up and down, feeling Nøkk rumble beneath her in something similar to a laugh. 

Mama didn’t look as excited, but she nodded and stepped away. “Slow, Nøkk. You take care of her, alright?” 

Nøkk bobbed their head, and Mama settled into the boat next to Papa, taking Dag into her arms. Jenny threw her head back and laughed, tapping her heels to Nøkk’s sides. 

“Let’s go!”

She hoped Nøkk would disregard Mama’s instructions and start off into a gallop, but they stayed with a running walk, gliding smoothly over the water. Nonetheless, Jenny couldn’t help but to grin, winding her hands into the water strands of their mane. 

She was having her very first ride on her own.

The best birthday gift she could ask for.

[frozenprocedural]

You Have a Son

Happy Birthday to His Royal Majesty, Dag Harald Thorir Geatland! Glad I got this finished on time! Set in my Beowulf!AU.

Dag, Alarik and Jenny belong to @patricia-von-arundel. This is very much influenced by her original Dag story Make Weep the Eyes of Day. Go read.

Margú and Ráfi are my own OCs.

You Have a Son

"Here. You have a new son."

Those were Anna's first words to her when she awoke, her sister's arms tilting to allow Elsa to see the tiny baby. So tiny, he could fit between Anna's outstretched hands. 

Elsa used what little energy her broken body had to offer to stroke her son's cheek, to reassure herself he was real. The feel of his soft, warm downy skin under her finger brought moisture to her eyes, but she lacked the strength to truly cry.

Then she sank back into the furs, too exhausted to fight the clinging darkness.

Days passed- or, at least, Elsa assumed they did. For her, time was measured in the brief moments of lucidity she was able to maintain before succumbing to unconsciousness. It was difficult enough to hold her son long enough for him to nurse- most often she was supported by Alarik. 

She refused to consider a wet nurse. If she could not carry her son to term, she would at least provide him with the nourishment he needed to survive. She could give him that much, even though he deserved so much more. 

So much more than his failure of a mother. 

Save for the few hours he would leave to see Jenny- who remained with Honeymaren and Ráfi- Alarik remained by her side. He always smiled when she woke- brushing her hair back with callused fingers and kissing her forehead- but Elsa could see the tension in his face and the sadness that never left his eyes. She could remember little of the actual birth- mostly just pain, endless pain, and her mental prayer for it all to end, even if it meant her own life was forfeit. She could see that same pain reflected in Alarik's eyes. 

She knew he blamed himself. 

But it was she who was the monster.

Anna remained with them, taking care of their son and helping mollify Jenny. Even with the arrival of Neta, and the constant presence of Margú, Jenny would still come to the cabin door each evening, calling out a greeting and reminding them how long it had been.

"One day, Mama."

Jenny wanted to see her new brother. Wanted to be back with her mother, in her cabin, to have life go back to normal.

And Elsa couldn't give her that. Couldn’t allow Jenny to see her in her current state. She couldn’t let Jenny see her mother weak and exhausted, dancing with death.

Sometimes, Elsa dreamed. They were terrible dreams- dreams filled with agony, and death. Sometimes she died. Those dreams, she could handle. But in some dreams, she beheld Alarik's tear-stained face, his eyes accusing, holding a limp, lifeless bundle. 

"You killed him." The dream-Alarik would say in a voice that was as cracked and broken as she felt. "He was innocent, and perfect, and you killed him!"

She woke from those dreams with a scream on her lips, thrashing weakly, ignoring the pain it brought. She deserved that pain. Alarik, or Anna, or Honeymaren, or Ráfi- whomever watched her- would have to hold her down, talk to her, bring her son over so she could see that he was alive. Maybe not healthy, but alive. Those were the hardest times, when her panic would tax her strength to the limit, where her consciousness would ebb almost immediately, and she would sink back into the frightening darkness, desperately clinging to the feeling of her son's warm skin to keep her going. 

"Two days, Mama."

The spirits remained close to the cabin, close to her. 

Bruni and Gale were constant companions in the cabin itself. 

Bruni had taken up residence on the top of the cradle, watching both Elsa and her son. If the baby complained even the slightest- he never cried, but he could whimper and mewl- Bruni was up in an instant, hopping down to nuzzle the baby's cheek and peep. Whenever the baby nursed, Bruni curled up in the crook of Elsa’s neck, watching with wide eyes. From the mental images Bruni sent, Elsa understood he was worried. Jenny had been strong and fierce, as fiery as the little spirit. Bruni didn’t see that in Elsa’s son. He didn’t want to stray too far from her son- Elsa understood.

Gale spent her time in the cabin as well, often blowing across Elsa’s heated skin- they needed to keep the cabin warm for the baby. Other times, she stayed as a small gust that spun between the bed and cradle, ruffling the hairs on the furs and worrying over the baby. 

Without Elsa's ice, Nøkk remained confined to the waterways- most often standing in the stream beside their cabin where they could at least see her through the doorway, and she could see them. They also played with Jenny, keeping her blissfully unaware, at least for some time, of the sorrow within her home. 

The size and number of Earth Giants meant there was little they could do, save for remaining as near the cabin as they could, forming an enormous stony wall on the horizon. All of them, no matter where, kept their mental connection with Elsa, sending feelings of encouragement, comfort and support. 

Elsa wished she could share their confidence. 

"Three days, Mama!"

“Thank you, little one.”

Elsa was able to push herself into a sitting position now, and her arms held her son without trembling while he nursed. She looked down into his bright blue eyes, gently smoothing back the wispy tufts of hair with a finger. Alarik sat next to her, looking down at the baby, his own hand coming up to cover hers.

She looked up at him- her love, her strength, and felt warmth bloom- as it always did at the sight of his devoted gaze. His face was lit up, a wide grin in place as he watched their son.

Their son.

"Have you thought of a name?" Alarik pulled his gaze to her, and she could see the hope on his face, hear it in his question. Elsa cast a glance out the window, to where she could see Jenny, Margú and Neta chasing one another. 

"Jenny did. Or, at least she helped."

"She did?"

Elsa looked down at the baby, now detached from her breast, asleep. She wiped a bit of milk from the corner of his mouth and let the warmth in her chest grow. Let herself hope, just a bit.

"Dag. His name is Dag."

[frozenprocedural]

Happiest of birthdays to my dear friend Trish, the amazing @couragedontdesertme! Go over and wish her a good one!

A Work of Art

"Bye Teacher Elsa! We'll miss you!"

"Bye Miss Elsa! We'll be good for Mrs. Gerda!" 

"Have fun with the baby, Teacher Elsa!"

As her preschool class bustled out the door, Elsa accepted the hugs and snuggles the four and five year olds gave her, careful to direct them to the side of her bulge so that she could at least wrap an arm around the student. As the last student bounded away, Elsa swiped at the stubborn moisture clinging to her lashes. A tissue was pressed into her hand.

"Don't you start. You'll get me crying next." Trish, her co-worker and friend, grinned before opening her arms. "Come here, you. It'll be alright." Elsa sighed before sinking into Trish's embrace.

"Don't mind me, it's the hormones again."

Trish chuckled, rubbing Elsa's back. "I think it might be more than just hormones in this case." As Elsa pulled away, Trish wiped a hand across her own eyes with a sigh. "Told you I'd start. Now, you enjoy your time off, and get some rest. Best friend's orders," she grinned as she wagged a finger at Elsa. 

Elsa laughed and gave Trish a mock salute.

……….

"Mama's home!" 

Elsa bent down, bracing herself for the impact as Jenny rushed into the hallway and threw herself into her mother’s arms, chattering about her day as Elsa wrapped her in a hug. As she listened, Elsa was struck, as she often was, by the realization that she was the mother to this thriving, active daughter who approached each day with vigor and joy.

And soon to be a mother to two children.

As Jenny continued her story, Alarik came around the corner, beaming and ruffling Jenny’s hair. He lowered his head to press his lips to hers, chuckling at Jenny’s mortified “Ewww!”

“How are you doing?” Alarik murmured as he pulled away, cupping her jaw and stroking her cheek with his thumb. 

"I'm fine." A lie- she could feel the rising heat behind her eyes once more- but Alarik did not press. He offered his arm instead, which she gratefully took, hiding her grimace as a sharp twinge shot up from her back upon straightening. Alarik, of course, noticed immediately and pressed a hand to her back, massaging the sore muscles gently.

"Dinner should be ready in a half hour. You can go nap if you want- I'll come get you."

Elsa shook her head, noticing Jenny's forlorn look. "Why don't you draw something for me, little one?" She asked, taking Jenny's hand, smiling when she was immediately tugged towards the family room. Elsa helped Jenny bring out the supplies, spreading newspaper over the table, laying down the papers and pulling out the fat markers. As Jenny started her first drawing, Elsa settled into the couch behind her, listening to her daughter's stories and watching her draw. 

When her back gave another twinge, Elsa stretched out. Jenny had fallen silent, intent on her work, and the scratching of marker over paper created a soothing cadence. 

Elsa fell asleep before she was even aware of being tired.

……….

It took Alarik some time- absorbed as he was in making dinner- to realize that Jenny had gone quiet. Quiet in a way that four years had taught him she was up to something. He moved the pot to the back of the stove, turned off the burner, and made his way to the family room, mentally bracing himself for whatever he might see. 

He had to bite his lip to keep from bursting out in laughter.

Jenny had abandoned her paper, and had pushed Elsa's blouse up further in order to draw on her belly. She was intent on her work, her tongue sticking out as she doodled with a purple marker. Elsa's stomach was a collage of color and shapes- some recognizable, others less so. Elsa, for her part, remained fast asleep, her chest rising and falling with each soft breath, completely unaware of her daughter's activity. 

"What are you doing, Eldig?" Alarik kneeled down, keeping his voice low. Jenny didn't look up from her work.

"Makin' a picture for Baby," she stated, her tone matter-of-fact. As she made a circle, a bulge pressed against the marker, and Jenny grinned. "See? He likes it."

Alarik nodded, his shoulders shaking with barely-contained mirth. After several forced deep breaths, he was able to speak again.

"I suppose he does, Eldig. Now, dinner's almost ready, so let's clean up." As he stooped to help collect the scattered markers, a thought occurred to him. 

Elsa will kill me for this. Well, he might as well have his fun while he could. He offered a marker to Jenny. 

"You should sign your name on your art."

Jenny's face lit up, and she took the marker, locating a bare patch of skin. "J-E-N-N-Y," she murmured as she formed each letter with large, careful strokes. Alarik smiled- he loved watching Jenny pen her name- before helping her return the rest of the markers to the bin and putting it away. 

It wasn't until he was supervising Jenny's hand-washing- "You need to scrub, Eldig, to get those microorganisms washed off."- when he heard Elsa's voice.

"Jenny." Careful, measured, and calm, but the both of them winced when they heard it. "Why is there marker on my belly?"

"Papa said it was okay!" 

"I did not!"

"You didn't say 'stop'!" Jenny pointed out. "You told me to write my name!" She crossed her arms and stuck out her chin, looking so much like her aunt it scared him.

"Alarik. Geatland."

"You're in troooouble…" Jenny whispered. Alarik gulped and nodded in agreement. 

…………

Later that night, with Jenny finally asleep, Alarik found Elsa in the bathroom, hair undone, with her shirt once more pulled up to expose her belly. One finger traced the designs, watching the movement in the mirror. When she caught sight of Alarik, she smiled, letting her hands drop to cradle the swell.

"I sent a picture to Anna and Trish. They both loved it." 

"Of course they did." He came up behind her, covering her hands with his own, rubbing her skin with his thumbs. "It's a beautiful thing. Both the art and the canvas." 

"Hmmmmm. You're still in trouble for encouraging her, you know."

"I know. But it was sweet." He felt the baby press against his thumb, and couldn't hold back the excited shiver that ran through him at the sensation. Elsa smiled and leaned back into him, letting her head fall against his chest.

"It was. I just hope Jenny will still be as excited when he arrives. I think she expects him to come out ready to play."

"I'm sure it will take time, but she'll love him in her own way. That much I'm sure of." He leaned down to kiss her cheek.

"They will always know they're loved. Both of them."

[frozenprocedural]

Diamond

Hunt

Elated

Happy birthday!!!!!!! Sorry it's a bit late.

Jenny, Dag and Alarik belong to @patricia-von-arundel. This is based off of your Mermaid AU here and @couragedontdesertme's TDOE story here.

Rating: K+

"Where are you going?"

Jenny winced. She thought Dag would be too engrossed in his books to notice her leave. So much for that. 

"Swimming." 

Dag huffed, crossing his arms. "Why do you have a bag and a flashlight? You don't need those to swim."

Jenny rolled her eyes. "No duh. Why do you care? Go back to your books. I'll be back before Mama and Papa get home. I'm just doing some exploring." 

Before Dag could say anything else, Jenny dove off the dock. 

As soon as she hit the water, she could feel herself change. Membranes closed to protect her ears, while another slid into place in her throat, allowing her to breathe. She flipped around to watch her favorite part, her legs fusing together, green-blue scales growing up and down, while her feet elongated and spread to form two flukes. 

The transformation complete, Jenny flicked her tail and started off towards her destination, elation filling her. That was until she heard the unmistakable whistling trill of her underwater name, along with a tug on her fluke. 

She spun to find Dag directly behind her, his hand movements frantic. 

"Mama and Aunt Anna said to never go into the cave alone!"

Jenny shrilled a sound that would have brought her a scolding from Mama, her hands cutting sharply through the water. 

"Make me stop." 

She flicked her tail and took off, refusing to look back as Dag whistle-shrieked in frustration. But she knew he wouldn't follow her- he wouldn't risk breaking the rules.

His loss, then. 

Shortly beyond the dock, the shore grew steep, and she found the cave's entrance. It was a dark hole in the rock, just large enough for one person to pass through. Only the top showed at low tide- by high tide, it disappeared. 

Once past the entrance, the cave widened drastically, forming a large cavern at least ten feet across. Even though it was underwater, the light from the outside reflected across the space, casting an ethereal blue glow and making the walls above the waterline sparkle like diamonds. 

But Jenny had no interest in the cavern, beautiful as it was. Her attention went to the dark spot near the rear- the entrance to the rest of the cave system. This hole was wider than the one leading back outside, and only faintly illuminated. 

Jenny swam up to the hole, and paused. Mama and Aunt Anna had taken them to the cave before, but, as Dag had said, they'd been told to never go alone. And they'd only ever been allowed to swim about the main cavern, never any further.

Mama never said anything beyond the back tunnels being dangerously confusing and often small. But late one night while Aunt Anna was visiting, Jenny overheard them talking in hushed voices. She couldn't catch everything, but she did hear two words clearly.

"...the secret…"

Jenny knew of her mother's task- to protect and guard the great secrets of the world. And perhaps, one such secret was hidden away in the depths of an underwater cave. 

Today, Jenny would find out. 

As long as she made sure she was back before Mama and Papa returned- and made Dag swear to keep quiet- she was certain she'd be just fine. Checking once more that her bag and flashlight were in place, she swam into the hole, feeling a rush of elation.

For several minutes, Jenny swam without the flashlight, her dark vision allowing her to see clearly. As the tunnel began to curve and twist away from the main cavern, she was eventually forced to turn it on as the light fully receded. 

She took her time, marveling at the strange formations and making sure she marked each turn with a colored piece of string stored in her bag that she could follow on her way back, the way Uncle Kristoff had taught her. With the exception of some tiny fish she didn't know the name of, she swam alone. 

But as time wore on and her string began to run out, Jenny realized that she would need to turn back, or risk getting caught. She tamped down the feeling of disappointment, and turned around, following the path she marked. 

Perhaps in her earlier excitement, Jenny had failed to notice just how treacherous the tunnels were. With silt kicked up from earlier, it was difficult to see, and more than once she cut herself on sharp ridges, or ran into the walls. And how had she not noticed the numerous tight passages she had to wriggle through?

It was in one such passage, as she struggled to fit her shoulders through, that Jenny's tail knocked a stone loose. There was a shudder, and in the space of a breath, the rock fell onto her tail, just before her flukes. 

Jenny screamed.

The flashlight fell from her fingers as she thrashed, trying to back out of the hole, but failing to budge an inch, and eventually gave up as the pain in her tail grew overwhelming. Grey crept into the edges of her vision, and she sagged, whimpering softly. The flashlight had rolled further down the passage, providing only the faintest light, and leaving her section in complete darkness.

"Mama…" 

…………..

"Jenny, Dag, we're home! Please come help with the groceries!" 

Elsa placed the tote bags on the table next to the ones Alarik had placed there and rubbed her legs- she would need to transform soon. Long car rides made them ache. She heard rapidly approaching footsteps, and then Dag came around the corner, his eyes wide and worried. 

"Dagn what-"

"Jennywenttothecave." He was breathing heavily, his words coming out in an unintelligible rush.

Alarik knelt down in front of Dag, placing his hands on the boy's shoulders. "Dag, deep breaths. Slow down. What's going on?"

Dag took several steadying breaths, although his hands still twitched nervously. "Jenny went into the caves by herself. And she's not back yet." 

Elsa gasped, and rushed to the back door. She heard Alarik instruct Dag to stay put, and then he was by her side, placing a gentle hand on her arm. 

"Elsa, wait, we should-"

Elsa shrugged his arm off, shaking her head. "No. I am not waiting. That cave holds a secret for a reason. I'm going to find her." She didn't wait for his response, but instead broke into a run, reaching the end of the dock in seconds. 

Elsa dove cleanly into the water, and as the transformation took hold, she called out in a long tone, magic carrying her voice further than it naturally would go. Minutes later, she received a response.  

I'm on my way.

Elsa wasted no time waiting. She sped to the cave, calling Jenny's name even before she entered. She swam into the cavern, praying to every great force she knew that Jenny would be there, looking guilty, but okay.

Her heart sank when she beheld nothing but water and stone. She could feel the trace of her daughter's passage in the water-magic and their family connection allowed that much- but it clearly led into the tunnel she avoided looking at. 

Jenny had gone in. She hadn't come out. 

She heard the clicks and whistles of her name, and turned to see Anna enter the cave. Just as she had, her sister scanned the area before her eyes landed on the dark entrance in the rear. 

"Let's find her." Anna's hands moved with quick confidence, and she took Elsa's hand before leading her to the entrance.

Anna pulled out glowing stone from the pouch at her waist and lifted it, illuminating their path as they made their way through the tunnel. At the first junction, she pointed to a bright green string tied around a rock.

"She marked her path- she's using Kristoff's knots. I recognize them- we need to go this way." Anna signed.

Despite the situation, Elsa felt a small glow of pride in Jenny's thinking. If only she hadn't done it here. 

They followed the strings, pausing occasionally to call out Jenny's name. As they traveled further and further in, with no response, Elsa's worry grew. Was Jenny injured? Was that why she couldn't respond? Or was she-

"Elsa!" Anna whistle-clicked her name, and when Elsa looked where she pointed, and off a small branch from where they swam, she caught sight of a faint beam of light. 

Almost simultaneously, she and Anna called out Jenny's name as loud as they could.

There was an agonizingly long moment of silence.

"Mama? Aunt Anna?"

The relief of hearing her daughter's voice felt like a blow to the chest. But Elsa could hear a clear note of pain there as well. 

"We're coming!" Elsa called out, and followed the small passage, her eyes fixed on the light, heedless of any danger. The light grew brighter and brighter, only to reveal a fallen flashlight. Elsa panicked for a moment, before Jenny called out again.

"I'm over here Mama! Over here!" 

Elsa picked up the flashlight and aimed it down the tunnel. 

"Jenny!"

She swam up to her daughter, biting her lip when she saw the scratches covering her shoulders and arms. Jenny started forward from the tiny hole she was in, but stopped suddenly with a cry of pain.

"I'm stuck! A rock fell on my tail, and I can't back up at all! It hurts! Mama, it hurts so much!" Jenny's face contorted, and Elsa bit her lip, trying to keep from crying out herself. Instead, she took Jenny's face in her hands, brushing a thumb across her cheek. Once Jenny's breathing was slower, Elsa moved her hands away.

"I know it's hard, but try to stay calm. We're here now, and we're going to get you out."

Jenny nodded, and Elsa pressed her hands to the rock, letting her power rise to the surface of her skin. The stone creaked and cracked, expanding enough until Jenny was able to push backward, her eyes wide with amazement. Elsa and Anna followed her to find a massive rock pinning Jenny's tail to the cave floor. Even if she had been able to back up, she wouldn't have been able to push a stone that size from the angle it landed. 

Once more, Elsa's powers came into play. With a sheet of ice beneath the rock, and her and Anna's combined strength, they were able to free Jenny. As soon as they did, Elsa felt bile rise in her throat. Jenny's tail was swollen and bent out of shape. She wouldn't be able to move it, let alone swim out. 

"Jenny, I'm going to put ice around the injury to keep it from moving, alright? Then we'll get you out of here."  

Jenny whimpered and nodded, turning away as her tail was encased in a thin layer of rigid ice. Once it was done, she rested her head on Elsa's chest, face contorted in pain.

"I'm sorry Mama, I'm so sorry."

Elsa ran her hands through her daughter's hair, fighting back her own anguish. "Shhhh, I know little one. Let's just get you home."

………..

The soft brush of waves against the sand was almost as soothing as the feel of the cool water against her aching tail. Jenny slumped against the inflatable raft that Papa had brought out for her, feeling exhaustion overtake her. 

It had taken Mama and Aunt Anna over an hour to get her through the tunnel- with Jenny unable to do more than push with her arms, they had to work her through the tight passages and turns. By the time they'd made it back to the dock, evening had fallen and the moon was rising. 

Aunt Anna left them there to fetch Yelena. After examining Jenny's tail, the old healer had determined that she'd likely broken several bones and would need to remain in the water until her tail healed. 

That would take at least a week. Mermaids healed fast, but not overnight. And transforming back would only make the injury worse.

Footsteps in the sand brought Jenny's attention back to shore, and Mama appeared, carrying an inflatable raft. She anchored it next to Jenny's, then sat in the water, her tail's brilliant blue scales reflecting the fading light. 

"Papa and Dag are finishing dinner. But I wanted to have a chance to talk to you before they came out."

Jenny looked away, feeling her cheeks flush. "I know you're mad at me. I'm sorry."

"I'm upset, yes. But mostly because I was so scared I would lose you."

Mama's voice hitched, and Jenny fought the urge to whimper. Because in that moment, Mama's words brought to life her own similar fear- that she would never see her family again. 

"That cave… there's a reason a secret is hidden there. Not just because no one notices it. The cave itself is enchanted to protect it."

"On the way back… the tunnels got smaller, didn't they?" Jenny braved a look, and she could see tear tracks on Mama's cheeks. Acting on instinct, she reached out, and Mama took her hand, squeezing firmly. 

"Yes. The falling rock as well. You were lucky because you're half mermaid. You wouldn't have made it as far as you did otherwise. Anna and I can pass because we are guardians, and that's why I was able to get the passage to open again. If we hadn't been there…"

This time, Jenny couldn't hold her whimper back. She moved closer to Mama, and when her arms wrapped around her, Jenny let the tears fall, clinging to her mother tightly. 

"Shhhhhh, there, there little one. You're safe now." Jenny's shoulder was suspiciously wet, but she didn't care. All that mattered was she was safe. 

When they pulled apart, Mama stroked the hair back from Jenny's face, a wry smile on her face. "I assume that you will not travel back to the tunnel alone again?"

Jenny shook her head vehemently. 

Mama's smile grew. "Hmmmm. Some day, when you are older, I will show you what is in there. But for now…" Mama nodded towards the shore, and Jenny could see Papa and Dag approaching with a wagon, the aroma of dinner wafting out over the water.Jenny grinned and snuggled close to Mama. She was home, she was safe, she was loved.