#hapnophobia

[chineseamericanfailure]

"Hapnophobia or the Fear of Being Touched," Wound from the Mouth of a Wound, torrin a. greathouse

[art-and-a-half]

Forgotten, idling.

Halfway from sick to cured.

I’m wondering

If they’re bored,

With their daughter

A lifeless puppet,

And I ponder

If they know I want to stop it.

  End my life,

Freeze in place,

Cut with a knife,

Too cowardly to do so, lacking in grace,

Too pathetic to end it all

Too scared to tie a noose

Take the fall

End the mental abuse

  Of my own mind

Who am I talking about?

Am I the daughter? This I find

To be difficult to accept, but the secret is out.

I am the daughter who wants to kill herself,

That wants to throw herself off of a building-

I am the one who’s sick of putting her problems on a shelf,

Sick of hiding.

  I am the daughter

I am the freak

I am the failure

I am the weak

I am the worst

Of the worst, stooping so low

The cursed

Of us all.

  Just a failure, just a failure

Less than a human

I’m just a problem, a disaster

Trying to please them-

But who is this them that I speak of?

Why do I care so much if they care for me or not?

Because they are my friends, my family, I can’t forget their love.

I need to earn their love, I can’t forget, but I forgot

  How much they mean

They are my world-

This they again-this they again

Cursing me, blessing me as I twirl

Around in place

Blotting out my name, crossing it out

With an ink swirl

In blood red ink, red as her lipstick pout

  Who is this her? Who do I speak of?

Merely someone I once called a friend,

I always craved her love,

Her gaze to never end.

I wanted a friend, I’d lost too many

But I’m trying so much

Only to return empty

Handed and crying, trying to clutch

  At straws that slip from my grasp,

Counting them for all my friends and family-

I watch them all gasp,

And they ask what’s wrong with me.

I spit back venom, this my vice,

Anger spewing forth from my parted lips

They flinch away, afraid, I’m no longer nice.

This cannot be fixed.

  I fucked up again,

I’m counting the bottles in my head

Waiting for someone to kill my pain,

If being alive hurts so much, I should be dead.

Gone from the face of the Earth.

Dead, gone forever.

But, in a fit of mirth,

I make them care

  I make them care

Arguments set in the past,

How could I dare

To make this last?

Fuck up, I fucked up, tried to make them smile

Now they want me around, want to touch

Hug for a while

Making my skin crawl with disgust.

  I guess I’m losing my mind like I’m losing friends

Slowly, then all at once.

[wheredidhiseyebrowsgo]

Hi, I just finished All The Way To You by AgnesBlue and loved it. I was wondering if you know any other Sterek fics with a similar dynamic where Derek is grouchy and doesn't want to get involved with Stiles, but there's forced proximity and eventually he gives in to feelings and they get together? Preferably medium+ length? Much love and appreciation for all you do on this amazing blog!

OOOO yeah!

All The Way To You by AgnesBlue

(2/2 I 14,005 I Mature)

“Can you make a stop at Beacon Rock? It’s a little town close by, maybe forty miles away from where you are.” He’s instantly irritated. “Why?” “I need you to pick up a present I got for Mason,” Laura says.

AU in which Derek is returning to Beacon Hills after years of being away. Laura calls him while he's on the road, asking him to make a stop to pick up an omega she's purchased as her son's gift.

***

A Funny Story, Dad (AKA: Why Sheriff Stilinski Officially Hates His Life- This Time) by jsea

(1/1 I 746 I Mature)

He thinks it probably says something about both his life, and his son, that he doesn’t even blink when he walks into the kitchen after a long shift to find Derek Hale slumped at their table, looking about as weary as he feels.

SNAFU by seraphina_snape

(1/1 I 1,683 I Teen)

The closet was barely larger than Derek. Which would have been fine, really - except that Stiles was stuck in there with him, making the available room a lot more cramped than was comfortable for either one of them.

Closer by theroguesgambit

(1/1 I 2,906 I Teen)

“You can’t possibly be blaming me for this.”

Derek aims a dry look Stiles’ way. It’s an effort with Stiles plastered grudgingly to his chest like this, their arms wrapped around each other while Stiles’ body slowly stops quaking.

“How else should I react when something’s obviously your fault?” ---

Stiles and Derek are cursed so that they are in pain whenever they're not close to each other.

(Waiting) Until the Sky Falls Down on Me by piratekelly

(1/1 I 3,062 I Explicit)

Or: Why Derek Hale is Never Listening to Stiles Ever Again

Derek's been cursed by a witch, and as a result, he's supernaturally super-glued to Stiles until the next full moon.

It wouldn't be so bad, if the struggle to hide their relationship weren't real enough to begin with.

Hapnophobia by p1013

(1/1 I 3,786 I Teen)

“Jesus!” Stiles fumbles, tries to catch him, and as soon as his hands are on Derek again, the screaming stops. Derek’s eyes are wide, and he’s panting on the ground.

“Stiles. Stop touching me.”

“Fine. Whatever. Just trying to help.” He pulls away, and Derek doubles over, groaning.

“Come back, come back.” Derek moans, reaching towards Stiles. As soon as their skin touches, Derek relaxes, falling back onto the forest floor.

“What’s going on?” Stiles asks, his hand slipping in the sweat that coats Derek’s skin. Derek twists his arm and grabs Stiles’ wrist.

“If I stop touching you, it feels like... It hurts, like wolfsbane.” He sits up. It twists Stiles’ arm into an awkward position, and Derek lets his grip loosen just enough for Stiles’ arm to slide against his fingers.

“You can’t let go.” Stiles says, wrapping his free hand around Derek’s arm.

“I can’t let go.”

The truth about love (comes at 3 AM) by Finduilas

(1/1 I 9,587 I Explicit)

When the pack gets locked in at Derek’s new loft during a snowstorm, they play ‘truth or dare’ to pass the time.

[westwindreborn]

I love this man��

[christinesficrecs]

when the walls come down (you'll know i'm here to stay) by paradis | 9.1K | Explicit

It’s not the ideal life, not the life he dreamt about aloud to his parents – he’s no Dodgers pitcher, he’s no lawyer, he’s no doctor – but it pays the bills and it keeps Laura from directing her judging, angry gaze at him too much.

It’s what he deserves.

Say it Sweet by breakaway71 | 4.1K

"Wolfsbane." Derek grits his teeth. "Interrogation blend. Still in my system. It makes me talk."

A Blossoming Romance by Trelkez | 7.5K

Stiles will just have to try harder next time. No one can ignore him forever.

go home, or make a home by lady_ragnell | 7.4K

In a world where Derek lets Scott kill the Alpha and get the cure, he has to figure out how to rebuild his life, with help from Stiles.

If I Could Turn Back Time by Menacherie | 5.5K

Stiles wakes up in a world in which Kate Argent was never born.

Flexible, Friendly, and Adaptable by MsCee | 16.2K | Mature

As a tour guide, Stiles liked to think that he embodied his company’s motto of being flexible, friendly, and adaptable. As a teacher chaperone, Derek Hale’s ethos seemed more along the lines of ‘inflexible, unfriendly, and rigid as hell’. Clearly, they were going to get along swimmingly.

Shutterbug by Yiichi | 53.4K | Explicit

Derek Hale is the photographer for the family-run magazine 'NECKZ 'n THROATS', a periodical aimed solely at the werewolf demographic. When the model for their monthly bails out, the staff are hard-pressed to find someone else to photograph at the last minute.

Stiles Stilinski is a college student, scraping by on odd jobs to pay for his education fees. When his long-time friend Lydia finds him a one-off gig at a photo-shoot, he figures it couldn't hurt.

As contrary as their natures appear to be, Derek finds the most fascinating piece of art at the end of his lens.

Somebody That I Used to Know by PercyByssheShelley | 10.3K | Mature

Stiles and Derek have been together for months.

The trouble is, they weren't yesterday.

Hapnophobia by p1013 | 3.7K

“Jesus!” Stiles fumbles, tries to catch him, and as soon as his hands are on Derek again, the screaming stops. Derek’s eyes are wide, and he’s panting on the ground.

“Stiles. Stop touching me.”

“Fine. Whatever. Just trying to help.” He pulls away, and Derek doubles over, groaning.

“Come back, come back.” Derek moans, reaching towards Stiles. As soon as their skin touches, Derek relaxes, falling back onto the forest floor.

Won't Treat You Like You're Typical by Zee | 12K | Explicit

"You think this is funny?" Derek says, turning his glare on Stiles' stupid smirking face.

"I think it's hilarious," Stiles says, shrugging when Derek looks incredulous. "Dude, it's not like it's forever, we'll just have a few sleepovers until the hunters see that all the werewolves in town are properly tamed by their human mates and move on. And then I'll have an awesome who-I-did-over-Summer-vacation story when Fall Semester starts!"

A Cookie For Your Heart by allyarra | 10.4K

Stiles is in college and he's working at Laura Hale's bakery for the summer in an AU where the fire never happened and the Hales are all alive.

I can smell it on your skin (I bet I can taste it in your blood) by brokentoy | 10.7K | Explicit

Stiles’ cover is blown the day Derek gets hit by Allison’s arrow.

[orpheuslament]

Dear Dante. Have your ever read this poem? I think you might enjoy it. 🖤 https://www.palettepoetry.com/2018/12/19/hapnophobia-or-the-fear-of-being-touched/

just did!! stunning, i really loved it

[potatogoats1blog]

Cupidtale!

Yessss pink undertale yesss

I only did a smol bit of designes but oOH BOI IT LOOKS GREAT TO ME AWAEAEA

Frisk

They/Them

They are haptophobic* because of.. Well, reasons. But the problem resolves step by step with dear monsters they trust.

They love pink!! Pink, red, and purple. Or as it called in their school, the feminine colours. They were bullied because of colour preferences, yes.

They like frogs, teddy bears(plush toys) and green or rose tea.

Large sweater covers scars and wounds.

!!THIS HAPPENED BECAUSE OF BULLYING, THIS IS NOT SELFHARM!!

They wear gloves so they won't feel small touches

Rarely open their eyes wide. They're not closed, they just look down or squint.

*Haphephobia (also known as aphephobia, haphophobia, hapnophobia, haptephobia, haptophobia, thixophobia, aphenphosmphobia) is a rare specific phobia that involves the fear of touching or of being touched. This is often associated with a fear of sexual assault.

(Note: Frisk is Erophobic("sexphobic") too)

Toriel Dreemurr (18/8/××××)

Goat mama

As we know from the classic universe, Toriel've lost her children in a accident. But this time, it happened, uh..

Differently.

(Why the hell didn't it publissshhhh)

(I WROTE TORIEL'S STORY BUT IT DIDN'T SAVED AHHHHH)

[sourwolfstories]

Hapnophobia by p1013

Rating: Teen and Up

Word Count: 3786

“Jesus!” Stiles fumbles, tries to catch him, and as soon as his hands are on Derek again, the screaming stops. Derek’s eyes are wide, and he’s panting on the ground.

“Stiles. Stop touching me.”

“Fine. Whatever. Just trying to help.” He pulls away, and Derek doubles over, groaning.

“Come back, come back.” Derek moans, reaching towards Stiles. As soon as their skin touches, Derek relaxes, falling back onto the forest floor.

“What’s going on?” Stiles asks, his hand slipping in the sweat that coats Derek’s skin. Derek twists his arm and grabs Stiles’ wrist.

“If I stop touching you, it feels like... It hurts, like wolfsbane.” He sits up. It twists Stiles’ arm into an awkward position, and Derek lets his grip loosen just enough for Stiles’ arm to slide against his fingers.

“You can’t let go.” Stiles says, wrapping his free hand around Derek’s arm.

“I can’t let go.”

[bostonpoetryslam]

There is a word for the fear of water, but not of drowning. Another for the fear of darkness, but not how it hides a person’s face.

Tonight’s Cantab feature is local poet and theme slam champion torrin a. greathouse! This is from her poem “Hapnophobia or the Fear of Being Touched,” published in Palette Poetry.

[westwindreborn]

Fucking hapnophobia, i slid down a damn wall to get away from our waitress at golden corral because she tried to hug me or pat me on the arm, cause she's nice and we like her and we always make sure we give her a tip when we get her table even if we have to wait bit to give it to her personally, cause sometimes we just get a vibe from a table near us, especially if they have kids. Just god it just so damn embarrassing, i didnt even mean to drop like that but she was on my left and center and i had the plate rack and mom the other side and the wall against my back and i panicked and slid down. I kept apologising and my mom said she'd hug her(she did). And god i hope management didnt see and think she did something, she didnt wasnt her fault, she didnt know, i dont want her to get in trouble. I started giggling i was so embarrassed. I told her i was hapnophobic(and how many people even know what that is???) and it wasnt her fault, she didnt do anything wrong, Mom told her i wasnt the touchy feely sort. I think we part okay though? She didnt seem upset or anything and we weren't upset but i think my face may have turned into a tomato.

It would be nice if i didnt feel like running away screaming at the thought of a hug or handshake or whatever. It some ways Im better than i used to be but sometimes i feel like its worse?

[hunkpurveyor]

Hapnophobia or the Fear of Being Touched

By torrin a. greathouse

after John Murillo

After learning that there are over one hundred thirty-two distinct phobias & still no word for the fear of fish hooks,

I think of my father, his broad hand, unfurled over my tiny fist, the knife he teaches me to clutch, its rough

handle of recycled bone suddenly gone slick against my not yet calloused palm.

The way the ice-box thumps like an unsteady heart—like I imagine my grandfather’s did, that year

in the restaurant, breath snagged sharp in the back of his throat, face blooded as dawn over his crucifix’s pale gold, & we waited

in shock for him to gasp back to his body’s surface. Let me start again, my father dragged the panicked pulse,

a bluegill, out from the ice. Its mouth, like my grandfather’s, a wordless babble. Both their eyes, flat & dull as a copper ashtray.

There is a word for the fear of water, but not of drowning. Another for the fear of darkness, but not how it hides a person’s face.

Sometimes, I forget the difference between an eclipse & silhouette —sorry, I’m losing the thread—I mean, my father made me hold

the knife. Showed me on the fish where to find an entrance & make it open. Blade dragged from anus to throat. Its guts

a door kicked in. Its blood escaping like still-hot wind from a kitchen in the winter where my father told me how, in high school, he wrote

a guide for field dressing humans, just for fun. Now, I imagine every animal he pries open, guts steaming like spring dirt, could be

a child; the scar where I once opened, thin strip of sunset, that still aches when a lover hooks their fingers to drag

an orgasm’s unsteady pulse from inside me, to leave me gasping, eyes fish-wide & panicked. I mean, some days,

I still can’t look straight into the mirror surface of glass or a fish’s eye & there is a name for both these fears.

Like, the fear of dead fish, Ichthyophobia, from the Greek ichthys, meaning fish, but also the name which Christians used

to hide their faith when it was a hunted thing. Perhaps this makes my fear a kind of prayer, how some mornings, I wake unable to move, a body

above me, eclipsing the light. Always with a man’s face. & always a gold cross, glitter & flail, strung from his neck,

like a fish with punctured gills, open mouth futile against the gilded line. Let me start again, once,

my father caught a fish hook through his palm, dipped his hand into the river & his blood—his blood was touching everything.

via Palette Poetry

[plexurade]

There is a word for the fear of water, but not of drowning. Another for the fear of darkness, but not how it hides a person’s face. Sometimes, I forget the difference between an eclipse & silhouette

Torrin A. Greathouse, Hapnophobia or the Fear of Being Touched

[wheredidhiseyebrowsgo]

Heeeello amazing people!!! I'm kinda new here and I need a little help (pretty pls) I was reading this awesome fic ''Lap Magnet'' and Im wondering if maybe you guys know other fics like this one (with the touching without realisng it or the acting all couple-y without being one) -thank you in advance and the biggest sorry for my bad english. xx

I wouldn’t have even noticed if you hadn’t said anything, @xfakesterekx! - Anastasia

Lap Magnet by Prairie_Grass

(1/1 I 30,371 I Explicit)

Wherein an ill-advised floral arrangement leads to a whole new definition of obliviousness, accidental mate-bonds, and far more sex and tropes than one fic really needs.

or

Five times Derek and Stiles didn’t notice how close they were (literally) and then a whole bunch of times when they did...

***

 A Funny Story,  Dad (AKA: Why Sheriff Stilinski Officially Hates His Life- This Time) by jsea

(1/1 I 746 I Mature)

He thinks it probably says something about both his life, and his son, that he doesn’t even blink when he walks into the kitchen after a long shift to find Derek Hale slumped at their table, looking about as weary as he feels.

(Waiting) Until the Sky Falls Down on Me by piratekelly

(1/1 I 3,062 I Explicit)

Or: Why Derek Hale is Never Listening to Stiles Ever Again

Derek's been cursed by a witch, and as a result, he's supernaturally super-glued to Stiles until the next full moon.

It wouldn't be so bad, if the struggle to hide their relationship weren't real enough to begin with.

Hapnophobia by p1013

(1/1 I 3,786 I Teen)

“Jesus!” Stiles fumbles, tries to catch him, and as soon as his hands are on Derek again, the screaming stops. Derek’s eyes are wide, and he’s panting on the ground.

“Stiles. Stop touching me.”

“Fine. Whatever. Just trying to help.” He pulls away, and Derek doubles over, groaning.

“Come back, come back.” Derek moans, reaching towards Stiles. As soon as their skin touches, Derek relaxes, falling back onto the forest floor.

“What’s going on?” Stiles asks, his hand slipping in the sweat that coats Derek’s skin. Derek twists his arm and grabs Stiles’ wrist.

“If I stop touching you, it feels like... It hurts, like wolfsbane.” He sits up. It twists Stiles’ arm into an awkward position, and Derek lets his grip loosen just enough for Stiles’ arm to slide against his fingers.

“You can’t let go.” Stiles says, wrapping his free hand around Derek’s arm.

“I can’t let go.”

Mating Moons by skinsharpenedteeth (Gavinscotts)

(15/15 I 85,255 I Explicit)

Stiles just wanted to get Derek's attention. Derek had seemed so distracted as the full moon approached and Stiles was feeling pretty neglected as a friend. Next thing he knows, he's magically bound to a cabin in the mountains with Derek all winter long and they have to figure out whether they want to be life mates?

[beppuccino]

Somewhat masterlist of phobias

Philophobia - fear of love

acrophobia - fear of heights

Trypophobia - fear of holes 

Monophobia - fear of being alone

Kinemortophobia - fear of zombies 

Ophidiophobia - fear of snakes

Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia - fear of long words 

haemophobia or hemophobia - fear of blood

Aquaphobia - fear of water 

coulrophobia - fear of clowns 

melissophobia - fear of bees

Globophobia - fear of balloons 

Zoophobia - fear of animals 

Athazagoraphobia - fear of being forgotten 

Haphephobia (aphephobia, haphophobia, hapnophobia, haptephobia, haptophobia, thixophobia) - fear of being touched

Emetophobia - fear of throwing up

Merinthophobia - fear of being bound (or tied up)

Entomophobia or Acarophobia - fear of bugs 

Lupophobia - fear of werewolves 

Sanguivoriphobia - fear of vampires 

Serenephobia - fear of mermaids 

Skelephobia - fear of skeletons 

Wiccaphobia - fear of witches 

rhabdophobia - fear of magic

Pyrophobia - fear of fire

Anthropophobia - fear of being social 

Nyctophobia - fear of the dark 

Claustrophobia - fear of small spaces 

Astrophobia - fear of space 

alienophobia - fear of aliens 

spacephobia - fear of exploring space 

Panophobia, Omniphobia or Pantophobia - fear of every thing 

Mortuusequusphobia - fear of ketchup

Nosocomephobia - fear of hospitals

phobophobia - fear of fear

kakorrhaphiaphobia - fear of failing 

kopophobia - fear of being tired 

pteronophobia - fear of feathers

 Ablutophobia - fear of washing your self

ergophobia - fear of work

Nomophobia - fear of not having phone service 

[I know this isn’t all of them, so add more if you wish!] 

[sharkiegorath]

idk if anyone’s pointed this out yet but

the fear of touch is called haphephobia…or haphophobia…or hapnophobia…or haptephobia…or haptophobia. 

[stilessourwolf]

Author: p1013

Rating: PG13

Words: 3786

Status: complete