#hange angst

[sjywrites]

༊*·˚ FIGHT OR LOSE LOSS

𝓖enre. angst. 𝓢ypnosis. fighting with some of the aot characters over something stupid before leaving for a mission, but never getting the time to clear it up. 𝓒𝓦 . major character death.

𝓝ote. I wrote for some of the other characters too but I can only add 10 pictures :( lmk if you want those!

--_'°~=-.--

this is so bad and probably has a gazillion spelling mistakes but I had some inspiration to write and I feel like I have starved you all for soooo long so it was about time I posted something 😓

[abbyslev]

𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑶𝑻𝑯𝑬𝑹 𝑾𝑶𝑴𝑨𝑵- 𝑯𝑨𝑵𝑮𝑬 𝑿 𝑹𝑬𝑨𝑫𝑬𝑹

A/N: hello angels! i haven’t uploaded in a while, i’m pretty busy but i have today off so i wrote this angst for you all! i hope you enjoy. It��s basically just a word vomit:)) i hope you all are well!!

WARNINGS: just straight angst haha

The other woman. That’s all that filled your mind all day. 

        Oh, how she was perfect. Her pretty curls, her perfect face. Her soft complexion and the glasses she would wear that perfectly framed her face. Her brains and how she would solve her own little theories with such ease. 

       She got up at exactly five everyday. Drank tea and ate her perfect breakfast every morning. She was never late and she always looked presentable. Even though she worked very hard at night, her eyebags never showed through. She was perfect in every way. 

         She was perfect in Hange’s mind, too. Her brains of course, and her interest in titans. Her quirks, her laughter, her looks, her style, and her hobbies. It was Hange’s dream and more. She listened to Hange’s long rambles and even had long rambles to reply with. Hange felt heard and loved. 

        She grew up on the nicer side, so she was able to get lots of things for Hange. Equipment, gear, small trinkets, books, anything Hange needed, she got it for Hange as a surprise. They stayed up sparring, and working on experiments. She even learned how to make Hange’s tea the way they liked it. 

         But so did you. You did all of that way before she did. You cut Hange’s hair, you did their laundry, you learned how to make their favorite tea and dessert, you wrote down their theories and spent endless nights trying to find an answer. You risked your life for them. 

          You stuck by their side, you take in their reports to do, you skip on buying meals so you can buy them nice gifts, journals and books they might need. You spent nights on end cleaning up and doing everything for them. You fell asleep in their arms. You loved Hange. You needed Hange. 

        You thought you and Hange were forever one. You thought no one could ever be like Hange’s other. Until she came along, ripping you away from Hange. She had no clue, it wasn’t her fault. It wasn’t her fault she was better for Hange than you ever will be. She was so kind and so sweet to you. How could you ever blame her? 

       Yet Hange looked at her like she was the only person in the world. The way Hange smiled at the thought of her, always talking about her and her wits, god you couldn’t stand it. You couldn’t stand to see their ears turn pink while talking to her. 

        So here you sit, knees to your chest, wondering how the other woman won Hange’s heart when you had done more for Hange than you will ever do for yourself.

taglist: @hangespublicist @batafuraikisu @saenora @chiquititaosita @eggplantfingers

^taglist is a wip! i’ve never done one before, let me know if you’d like to be on it:))

[levi501ackerman]

Stars at Night Turned Deep to Dust | Hange x Reader Angst

masterlist

Summary: You were in an accident that caused you to have amnesia and forget your love with Hange. You've turned annoyed with the person who was once your wife.

Megan's Note: I wanted to practice writing angst. Good luck. Song correlated: "The Greatest" by Cat Power. Posted: 8/4/24

Word Count: 1.9k

“It was nice meeting you,” the young girl said walking toward her car. Hange politely smiled, she waved back at the girl, mustering the last bit of energy she had.

“Yeah you too,” Hange headed toward her car hearing her footsteps on the asphalt of the parking lot. The girl’s car door shut behind Hange and it felt like the curtain closed on stage. The audience was out of view and she could be herself. The fat lady sang. 

Hange crawled into her car and sat in the seat that warmed the back of her thighs. The heat of the car seat was blistering hot, but Hange wanted to take a moment for herself. To breathe. She started the engine and though the steering wheel was hot, Hange leaned against it. While doubled over and breathing in the air blowing from the air vents, she accepted this was her life. This is what you wanted for her . . . though she knew the real you—the you that was hers—wouldn’t want this at all.   

It was a Thursday. 

She knew you’d be upset with her.

Not crossing your boundaries was something Hange typically respected, but today she had to. Hange wanted to be selfish. She needed to be selfish. Though the facility was an hour away from home, Hange’s thoughts were relentless. The thoughts speaking to her—grabbing her attention like multiple dozens of fans screaming at her after the show creating a nightmarish haze. 

You were going to be annoyed with her visiting a second time this week. You may throw a fit seeing Hange again. You were apathetic and angry most of the time Hange visited. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea? One time you were upset with Hange and you called the nurses’ button screaming to remove Hange. Another time you were pissed at Hange, so you threw the book she brought for you and the corner pierced her rib. The behavior was so unlike you yet . . . that’s what was left of you. 

Hange pulled into the parking lot. The summer’s day was warm and bright and Hange parked in the visitor’s parking lot. It was only then she realized she didn’t have something playing in her car. No music. No audio book. No podcast. 

Then she realized another thing and she knew you were going to be upset with her. Hange didn’t have any food. Great. Now you were going to most likely be even more pissy. 

Great.

Hange got out of the car and shut the door. The reflection of herself in the glass window revealed her puffy eyes. She groaned and then rubbed the corner of her eyes. Then she dug through her purse for a crème light red lipstick. She stared at herself and dabbed the lipstick onto her lips lightly—something you taught her. A few dabs of lipstick then rubbing it in makes the lips look more natural yet there’s color and warmth. Hange dabbed the lipstick onto her cheeks and rubbed the color in with her hand. Another thing you liked to do when you didn’t have blush in your purse. Hange studied her enhanced face in the window. She flashed a forced smile to herself. Her make up was how you liked it. 

She entered the hospital aching to see you along with a mix of apprehensiveness to her unexpected arrival. Hange hoped you were in a good mood. The receptionist gave a friendly smile to Hange, recognizing her immediately.

“Back already?” The lady looked for the sheet of sticker name tags and a sharpie.

“You know me, couldn’t stay away.” The lady gathered a sharpie and wrote Hange’s name on one of the stickers. Hange always thoughtfully praised how neat the lady’s handwriting was. Hange leaned against the desk waiting for the name tag.

“I believe she just woke up from her nap. I noticed in the log today she’s in a good mood and cooperative.” The lady handed Hange her visitor’s name tag and Hange stuck the sticker on the right side of her chest. Though did she need it at this point? Most of the staff knew her name. The name tag was for formalities of course. “Alright I’ll push the button and she’s in the same room as always.”

“Thank you,” Hange choked out. Her back was tense and her stomach was tight. She knew you were going to be upset. She needed to see you.

Hange walked through the door and turned left down the familiar hall. You’ve been in the same room for a while after being moved. The first room you were in you hated because you felt like you weren’t getting enough cool air. The room did have air conditioning, but you complained every day. Eventually the staff did move you into a slightly larger room on the north side of the building. The north facing window caused less sunlight to get in and naturally your room was cooler. You've been in that room since then.

Hange took an elevator to the third floor and once again she saw her reflection. She felt like she looked cute and ran her fingers into her hair. Hange puffed her chest and ran her palms against her shirt hoping to look her best. It reminded her of how she was getting ready earlier in the day. She blinked behind her glasses and felt like her eyes looked pretty. You always liked her brown eyes.

The elevator dinged and Hange straightened up. She walked out of the elevator and turned right. The floor was clean and she didn’t want to make eye contact with the nurses or the doctors. Hange walked on the square tiles aiming not to step on a crack. Hange was being selfish and she knew you were going to be mad. She hoped you wouldn’t throw anything.

To her surprise your door was open. You always closed your door. Hange optimistically believed you were in a good mood today. She stood in the threshold of the doorway, preparing for your possible outburst. Her heart thumped in her chest and then she mustered the courage to knock.

“What?” Hange took a few steps forward revealing herself. You were reading a book and your eyebrows were furrowed, eyeing Hange up and down.

“Hey Y/N . . .” Hange attempted to sound even. She slowly made her way to the chair next to your bed. You weren’t yelling or throwing your book at her, your eyes didn’t leave Hange’s.

“What are you doing here? I thought we agreed to only Mondays?!” You rolled your eyes and returned to your small chapter book. Hange noticed you moved onto the next book in the Cam Jansen series. A children’s chapter book series of a girl who uses her photographic memory in order to solve mysteries. An ironic choice.

“I really wanted to see you,” Hange swallowed. She was used to you ignoring her. She was used to you not wanting to look at her. She was used to this. She expected this. 

“You didn’t even bring me egg drop soup.”

“I didn’t expect to come today. I will bring you soup on Monday.” Hange has heard the many complaints of you not liking the hospital food and Hange tried to get in your favor by bringing food you requested. Hange had snuck in chicken tikka masala, spicy tonkotsu ramen, Chipotle’s chips and guacamole, garlic bread Hange made herself, McDonald’s cheeseburgers and fries, and anything else you wanted. Monday you requested that Hange bring you egg drop soup from your favorite Chinese restaurant.

“Why are you here?” You stared frustratedly into your book. Though Hange felt like she was walking on eggshells at the same time, something deep in her felt comforting being with you. Given your history, you were in a better mood today. “Didn’t you have that date with a girl? Are you guys in love yet? Please tell me yes, so you can get off my back.”

“It was just a date.”

“Okay—”

“I did what you asked and I felt very on edge and unhappy—”

“I do not care! Keep dating and leave me alone!” You clipped.

“You be nice to me today.” Hange assertively said. 

“If you don’t leave I’ll scream!”

“I will not bring soup on Monday if you do!” You scoffed and slammed your book on the bed.

“You’re the worst!” You folded your arms and scowled at the bed sheets covering your body. You hated when Hange threaten to not sneak in food. 

“Please,” Hange covered her eyes with her hands. She didn’t want to cry and she knew you found some sort of satisfaction in her crying. Hange knew that you felt she was a thorn in your side, a pest to swat away. Yet . . . you didn’t know Hange was all you had. The reason you had a place to receive medical attention. “Be nice to me today. I’ll bring you food on Monday, but I want you to be nice to me today—in fact you don’t need to speak.”

“Okay . . .” You quietly said. Hange sniffed and used her knuckle to carefully wipe the tears that were glossing her eyes. The pressure behind her nose was stiff and she swallowed the lump in her throat. All the things she wanted to say. All the things she rehearsed in the car on the way. All the time that you spent together. Hange leaned forward, elbows dug into her thighs and she rested her face onto her palms. She sniffed again and warm tears spilled onto her face. Hange knew this was going to happen. She knew she was going to break in front of you. 

“Please just listen to me . . .” Hange’s vulnerable form made you feel confused and almost sympathetic. You knew what she was going to say and every time she told you, you didn’t know what to do. It was pointless to hear her go on and on again. “ . . . I’m not giving up on us . . . I did what you asked. I went on a date and I refuse to do it again. I will wait for you. I love you so much . . . come back to me . . .” Hange let out a shaky breath. “I know you’re in there somewhere. Please, come back to me. I’m h-here. I wish you would remember our love. Our marriage. I know you don’t like being here, but you can get better and come home, my dear.”

Hange stayed in her helpless state for a moment. Out of the corner of your eyes you saw Hange wipe her nose with her fingers. Then she dug through her purse and pulled out an opened tissue pouch and dabbed her face. She blinked back the last tears that were collecting in her eyes. When you thought she was going to look at you, you darted your eyes away. You grabbed your Cam Jansen book and flipped through the book, searching for the page you were on. You knew if you ignored Hange long enough she would leave. It was always the same. Hange exhaled and then proceeded to get up from the chair. Her shoulders were slumped forward and her eyes were downcast to her shoes stepping on the square tiles. Suddenly you remembered something. Something you loved.

“Hange.” Hange pivoted on her feet and her eyebrows were raised, her eyes charged with hope, and her mouth slightly opened. She leaned toward you, hoping this was the moment. The moment Hange has been hoping would happen for the last six years. “Don’t forget to ask for soy sauce packets.”

Thank you for reading <33

(sad bitch hours for Hange still wanting to look pretty for you)

masterlist

[fleur-de-bleau]

Roman Empire; H. Zoe

warning(s): angst (no fluff), major character death, spoiler aot season 4 pt 3!!

summary: years after the war ended, how it feels to be on the second war yourself?

two rings.

a couple of ring lingered your right ring finger, just as you look at them, the diamond in it shines so brightly underneath the sun.

both rings have different patterns and model, but also seems alike as if they are just meant to each other.

you sat yourself on a field— in the wide open funeral, in exact.

beside you, there's a grave, the tombstone written "rest in peace, our 14th commander of survey corps, our Hange Zoe."

your knee on your face, hugging your lower body, burying your face as you hold the rings tightly.

one of them was belonged to them.

not really though, you were never be able to give it to them by any chance either.

the memory of them pass into your mind,

how you promise yourseld to give all of you when the war ended,

and how they just left your down to the ground as they go on with their ODM gear, leaving their belongings, teammates, friends, and you.

you secretly cursed yourself and how you regrets everything that you didn't do to them just because you think there will be another day with them.

you stare at the small box that are open and shows a couple of ring that ignites a shimmering diamond each.

"this one would be more beautiful and more expensive when it's lingered on Hange's finger." you think to yourself

you smiled bitterly at the sweet moment.

"as much as i hated you, I would never let you just take a decision so fast like this, Hange!"

'especially when it's giving your life.'

you held back the last words that were about to come pass your tongue.

tears slipped through your eyes as you hug your lower body more tight, feeling drops of rain on your upper body, makes you shiver, alone.

reiner dragged you to the plane, just for you to immediately look into the window, looking at Hange's.

from the first they landed their ODM gear from one building to the others, to the second they crushed into small pieces as the heat of thousands of colossal titans started to cannot be bear anymore.

you've always been hated it so much when it comes to leaving Hange, or maybe you just hate the way your feelings just burst out when everyone's numb.

the war on your head stopped as you feel something different.

you look up as you feel the raindrops stop, only to see an umbrella offered to you

"I never knew you also thinking of going here"

deep— more to cold voice breaking the silence, it was Levi.

"you know, you don't need to be so wondered why am i here, I guess we have the same purpose" a humorless chuckles left your mouth.

Levi's hair turning to a grey locks as he gets older, still with that cold gesture and expression, for sure.

nothing really change from the scouts— now ex, we might not as strong as in the past, but the feelings never change.

the feelings linked around us, the feeling of warmth, the feeling of coming back home.

[lazyexcuse]

*Y/n and Levi training*

Levi, wiping the blood from his lips with a smirk: “Oh yeah? Is that the best you can do?”

Y/n, holding back tears: “Yeah actually, I’m trying really hard..”

Levi, standing up straight, shocked: “Oh.. ok.. hey— it’s ok—“

[ponderingmoonlight]

Levi being separated from his wife for years after joining the scouts but finding his way back to her

Pairing: husband!Levi x fem!reader

Word Count: 2,7k

Synopsis: Just before Erwin was about to catch you in the underground city, Levi begs you to stay behind and promises to return. Years pass, years in which he never reached out once. Until an unexptected visitor knocks on your door.

Warnings: heavy angst to comfort, the last part is not proofread so have mercy, please let me know what you think as this is the second aot fanfic I'm posting <3

Tags: @lees-chaotic-brain @sanicsmut @levislegislation

Click here for a cute little spin off

You move with almost frightening speed around the countless buildings, escaping the hands of the blonde male behind you by razor’s edge. Why the hell are the survey corps so much stronger than the military police? So skilled with the 3D manoeuvre gear that it’s almost scary, haunting after you so fast that it’s getting harder and harder to escape their grasps. But everything is going according to plan, right? You need to get yourself caught, you need to join the survey crops, you-

“Move to the left. Just keep going and don’t look back. You are skilled enough to escape them alone.”

Your glossy eyes dart towards your husband in disbelief. No, he can’t be serious about what he just said. That would mean…

“But we’ll get separated”, you argue.

Levi is fully aware of what he’s asking from you. But given the neck-breaking speed and the skills of the people behind you, the risk of getting caught is greater than the benefit of staying together. And that man…Even though he promised you the world, Levi could tell by the sound of his voice that he isn’t trustworthy. He might go to hell, he might die in the process, but you.

There is absolutely no way in hell he’ll risk your life.

At least you’d be safe, even if it means he’ll be away from you for some time.  

“I never intended on taking you with me, (y/n). If we’ll get separated, I will come and find you here. I promise.”

His words don’t make any sense while you shake your head in mistrust. But you agreed on going together, all four of you. Why would you stay behind, why would he even suggest something like that?

“(y/n), I don’t want to lose you because of a mission. Please, move left.”

You don’t know what to do, mind completely clouded by anger, fear and uncertainty. You would trust your husband with everything, laying your life right into his hands. But this? This means you might never see again, this means he’ll leave you here for who knows how long, this means your husband could lose his life for freedom.

“But what if I lose you?”

“You will never lose me. I promise I’ll come back to you, just trust me with this one. I love you, (y/n).”

You take a deep breath, the next intersection coming closer and closer. It’s time to make a decision.

Will you move left like Levi begged you to or will you move right and followi him like you initially planned?  

With a load of gas you propel yourself past a building, moving with horrendous speed down the tight side streets of the underground.

One last glance. One last glance into the eyes of the man who is the only light in your life, one last glance into the cold blue eyes of the man who is now chasing after him.

“You better come back to me, Levi Ackerman”, you mutter to yourself while holding back bitter tears.

-a few years later-

“Take it or leave it. I will find someone else who’ll buy it.”

“Are you up on sale too?”

That’s enough. With a swift motion, you pierce through the man’s dirty hand with your knife before turning around and leaving his house in company of his pathetic screams.

It’s been years. Years since Levi go taken away from you by that blonde man with blue eyes, years since he promised that he’ll come back.

But he never did. With fast and skilled motions, you swing around, making your way back home before the military police starts getting on your nerves again.

Everything seems so cold since he left. Your worn-down house, the bed you used to share, your whole fucking life. Who knows what happened after they got caught. Are all of them still alive? Maybe something went wrong, maybe they die-

No. You shake your head vehemently. This is simply not possible. Levi Ackerman would never die through the hands of a titan, let alone a member of the survey corps. That’s absolutely impossible, unbelievable to say the least. Maybe he started a new life on the surface with his friends, lying under the sun right now while eating the most exquisite food.

Good for him. If you weren’t still stuck in this hell.

A few harsh knocks on the door rip you out of your dreams.

“Who the hell is this?”, you grumble to yourself.

You don’t expect any visitors today. To be exact, you never expected anyone to visit you. So who could this be? The man you threatened before? The military police officers you stole from? Whatever, you will figure it out somehow.

But when you open the door, you aren’t greeted by the face of a disgusting officer. No, you stare right into ice-blue eyes.

“When will you finally let me get her?”

He missed you every single day since you parted your way back then in the underground city. How are you? What are you doing? Are you even alive? Levi’s hands clenched into fist just by the thought of it. Countless lonely night that felt so empty without you by his side, countless people he lost during the process. If you knew what happened…

“Is a woman really that important to you? She must be someone really special if you’re still asking about her”, Erwin commented, staring at the captain sitting in front of him with eagle eyes.

Yes, he does remember you. The girl who took the left path back then, the only one him and his squad weren’t able to catch.

“She is my wife. If you don’t allow me to get her, I will quit my service”, Levi suddenly barked at his commander.

How unexpected. Even though Erwin could tell that you’ve meant something to him when he decided to leave you in the underground city, he never thought his relations to you would go that deep.

“Fine, if that’s what you wish I’ll go and escort her.”

“I will get her myself-“

“You have a job to do, remember? I will take Moblit with me, it shouldn’t take long, given she cooperates.”

Did he even have a choice? One look into Erwin’s face showed him more than urgent that this is nothing to be discussed. And even though he hates to admit it, somehow Erwin is right. These brats were unpredictable, along with Hange.

“Fine”, Levi finally grumbled.

As long as you’ll finally be back in his arms, he won’t complain.

“You”, you hiss through gritted teeth.

Your whole body begins to tremble in thick rage, eyes darting right through his spoiled soul. His eyes haunted you in your dreams, how he talked to your husband back then, how they pushed his gorgeous face into the dirt. You will never forgive him. No, nothing in the world could make you forgive the blonde man in front of you who stole your life away from you so cruel.

“Where is Levi?”

“Maybe if you calm down-“

“SHUT UP”, you immediately interrupt the other man behind him.

“You will pay for all these fucking years I had to live without him. You will pay for every sleepless night, for every tear that I cried. You will pay with your own pathetic life!”

With a swift motion, you lower the knife out of your sleeve, ready to hit his carotid artery with full force.

Until you suddenly fall to the ground, the last thing you are able to see being this asshole’s boots before everything turns black…

“I…hate…y-“

Silence, darkness, nothingness.

“You didn’t have to hit her this hard. Levi will definitely make you pay for punching his wife”, Erwin comments dryly before gently lifting your numb body over his shoulder.

“His wife, huh? No wonder she’s so feisty, what a pain in the ass”, Moblit remarks.

“I understand her anger. After all, I hid her husband for multiple years from her. Let’s see how she acts when she wakes up…”

-back at the base camp-

“Who’s this woman?”, Eren mumbles into his best friend’s ear, staring at the lifeless female body laying in front of Erwin’s feet.

“They just came back with her. But nobody seems to know who she is”, Armin clarifies.

Everything hurts. Your back, your head, your limbs feel like falling off every second. You feel like hit by a horse…Did the military police catch you? Did someone come for you? Impossible…

You rub your head, lids blinking against the harsh light. Where the hell are you? And why is it so damn bright here? This definitely isn’t the candle in the middle of your bedroom.

You lift your trembling limbs off the ground, groaning when a new wave of nausea rolls over you. God, why do you feel so bad? You can’t even remember what happened last. You were at the underground, you made a deal with that asshole, you returned home, it knocked.

It knocked.

Your eyes widen in pure horror when his face lights up in your head. He. He was there. The man who stole your life from you, the man who took your husband with him.

“I’m glad you’re awake, he should return every minute-“

“You.”

Your eyes roam around without an aim until his cold blue eyes meet yours.

“You took everything from me!” you scream on top of your lungs.

The air around you heats up immediately, all the voices quieting down in an instant when your trembling index finger darts towards commander Erwin Smith.

“You took my life from me, you stole my husband and now you kidnap me! I’ve had enough, you’ll pay for all your sins, for how miserable you made my life! Do you know how many lonely nights I begged for him to return, that I even started praying for him to come back home to me? You promised freedom but caged me to the underground in my hopeless dream of him returning someday!”

Again, you shoot towards him with your knife in your hand. Fuck, you hate the way hot tears start to sting in your eyes and take your sight, but you can’t help yourself. This man in front of you is the epitome of living hell, the reason you suffered all these goddamn years. You aim for his neck, ready to slice him open like a fish along with a toe-curling scream that escapes your trembling lips.

“Don’t.”

The sheer force of a pair of fingers wrapped around your wrist is enough to make you stop. This almost sounded like…

“Levi.”

“I have to explain all this to you calmly. Please put down your knife, (y/n).”

“You have some fucking nerve”, you mutter under your breath, eyes darting towards him for the first time in years.

He looks just like you remember him, figure roaming over you for a few inches, eyes as calm as the ocean, hair neatly trimmed. Yes, he is just as attractive as you remembered.

And alive.

And this is the first time you see him, after so many years.

“Where have you been all this time, huh?”, you cry out.

You free yourself out of his grasp, now storming towards him.

“What about the promise you made back then, that you’ll return to me?”

Your hands push against his firm chest harshly, fists slamming over and over against his tight muscles while all he does is standing there.

“You left me without saying goodbye, without even thinking about me twice. Do you know how much I cried that day, how much I missed my fucking husband?”

Tears stream down your face like a waterfall, voice so hoarse that it’s hard to cough out a single word that makes sense.

“Why didn’t you come back? Why did you leave me in the dark? Why-“

He can’t hold back any longer. Before you continue your ramblings, before you are able to hit him again, Levi wraps his arms around you and buries his face in the crook of your neck. God, how much he missed this, how much he missed the simplicity of holding his wife in his arms.

“I love you, (y/n)”, he breathes against your ear.

You see stars, feel like fainting, want to push him away while all you want is to be held at the same time. Countless nights you imagined what it would be like to meet him again, countless nights you pondered about his life, where he might live, what he is doing.

And now he’s standing in front of you, pressing you tightly against his firm body while all you can do is break down and cry in his inviting arms.

“Back then, I have asked you to move left because I feared what lies behind the walls. And I was right, (y/n). The things I saw, the countless lives the titans took. Isabel and Furan, they… They died on our first expedition. It wasn’t safe to drag you into this world. Even if I wanted nothing more than to hold you in my arms again, I figured it would be easier to know you live as far away from the titans and me than being in danger…”

“You idiot”, you spit into the face you learned to love long ago.

“I would rather die by your side than live alone at the safest place. Don’t you understand that all I wanted was to be with you?”

Your words echo through his mind, the past years replaying themselves in front of his eyes like a movie. It’s been so damn long. He should have asked about getting you sooner, he should have moved hell and earth to get you out of the underground.

“I’m sorry about all those years, (y/n). You were the only thing on my mind this whole time, I was longing for your touch, for your presence. I wrote a list of things I want to show you. I know how much I’m asking for, but please forgive me, please be by my side right here and now.”

Is it really this simple? Is one look in his lovely face enough to forget all those years you’ve waited for him? Your heart pounds hard against your ribcage, all pairs of eyes seem to be set on you. What are you supposed to do?

“A simple sorry won’t take away all those years I’ve waited for you.”

Levi swallows hard, this usual cool composure slowly but surely breaking away. Fuck, he messed up. He should have gone after you immediately, he should have ignored Erwin’s advice. If you leave him right here on the spot…His eyes widen in thick fear. No, this would completely tear him apart. After all, you are his precious wife, the love of his life, the only reason he kept going despite all the people that died in front of his eyes.

“But I won’t live in the past with regrets. I was hoping forward for this day so long, let’s enjoy it.”

And then you return his hug, wrapping your arms around his ribcage like you used to. Levi lets himself fall into your touch, soaks in the decent smell of citrons on your clothes. God, how much he missed this, how much he missed you.

“We will never return to the underground, my darling. Your place is right here under the sun.”

You press your lips against his hungrily, soaking up this precious moment. This is exactly how you imagined your reunion. Maybe a few years earlier, maybe being escorted by himself. But god, you can’t help but get lost against his mouth, your fingers re-discovering the valleys of his well-toned body.

“Huh, what’s going on here? HUH, DID I MISS SOMETHING!?”

Levi slowly removes his lips from yours, cold eyes staring darkly behind you. You follow his gaze, looking directly into the way too near face someone wearing glasses.

“This is my wife, shitty four-eyes. Can you stop bothering her?”

“WHAT? You never mentioned anything about a wife! Oh, what a gorgeous woman she is! And you’re just as small as Levi himself. Huh, maybe that’s what comes with living under the ground, right? But don’t worry, you will be just fine here! Apart from some titans here and there, and maybe titan shifters and don’t forget those-“

“Shut.Up.”, Levi hisses through gritted teeth.

[sunny-knight]

“Don’t… don’t tell him you think dingbat fonts are cool.”

AUGH @forgettable-au fanart :3 been on another roll with it (in agony constantly)

theres some untranslated wingdings cause i love translating it myself, hope others do too :D

not confident on how “canon” or in-character this is but- I HAD FUN this AU has really got me in the rendering spirit, I really enjoy taking inspiration but also adding mu own silly twists on it and AAA everything looks even more tasty now

I view this as them in New Home after getting something to eat (after the last page update) and heading back the same way since Alphys’ place is on the way to The Lab. The font convo comes back up again and then yeah

Alsoooo if youre interested in behind the scenes stuff heres the speedpaint :3

also i never poster about this- but i had another forgettable dream. it didn’t make any godamn sense. I woke up and drew the only scene I could remember:

Wingdings and Sans had a fight and ig wingdings killed Sans 😭😭😭 in a stairwell for some reason

and current Sans, Papyrus brother Sans, is like watching all of this and was brought here by Lancer like a Ghost Of Christmas Past type situation. Idk why. I choose not to attempt to make sense of this anymore. But i swear this is an actual dream i had 😭

[roosterbruiser]

𝐋𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐂𝐨𝐰𝐛𝐨𝐲

A piercing cry slices through the dark--your eyelids are too heavy to wrench open, especially when you’re cocooned under the heavy duvet like you are right now. 

From behind you, molded against your body like he always is when you sleep, Jake’s muscles tense. Rigidly, he sighs into the warm curve of your throat and blinks through the dark. And, yes, there on the baby monitor is your six-month-old baby boy in his silly-looking sleep sack. He’s about to wail, Jake can tell. His little bottom lip’s wobbling and his eyes are shut tight and even though Jake can’t see his hands, he knows his fists are clenched.

“Your son is so dramatic,” you whisper, muffled from the pillow. 

“I thought we decided on theatrical,” Jake whispers back, his voice thin and worn. He peppers a few sloppy kisses to your throat and starts to sit up. “I’ve got ‘im.” 

“You’re my hero,” you mutter, yawning. 

He stretches and then swings his legs over the bed. 

“Kinda my thing,” he says as he stands.

“I love you so much,” you reply. Any other time, with more sleep, you would’ve scoffed at him and given him your best eye roll. But you’re too tired to feel anything but grateful for your husband right now. “Like, so much.” 

Jake laughs lightly, tiredly. 

“I know,” he says cockily, teasingly. 

You don’t respond, already drifting off to sleep again. You’re so tired that you can feel it in your bones--a deep, deep ache that is only exacerbated by frequent diaper changes and excessive feedings and tumultuous tummy times and gas and formula and binkies and board books and burp cloths and baths. 

And even though the baby is definitely about to start screaming, Jake can’t help but pause for a moment in repose as he stands in the doorway in his slouchy sweatpants. You’re sprawled across the bed already--you always say it’s to keep his spot warm but he knows that it’s because you’d sleep in star-formation if you had the choice--and breathing deeply. Your hair is a mess on the pillow and your cheek is smushed. Anyone with eyes can see that you’re exhausted from parenting a very particular, theatrical Seresin baby boy.  

He wants to cross the room again and tuck your hair back from your forehead. He wants to kiss your aching temples and your heavy eyelids. He wants to pull you in his arms, gather all those limbs, and hold you close. 

But he doesn’t want to wake you up.

So, he just smiles gently. 

“I love you so much,” he responds finally. “So, so, so stupid much.” 

And then he’s padding down the hallway, yawning again, but with a smile tugging on his lips. He can hear his son’s whimpers from outside the door and honestly, he’s shocked the screaming hasn’t started yet. 

The sound of artificial rain floods Jake’s ears when he comes into the room, the little sound machine in the corner lulling your son to sleep each day and night. He doesn’t bother turning it off or turning the light on--Jake’s fairly certain he’s adapted to the dark by now anyway. 

There in his crib, the one Jake had to finally ask Javy to help build, is a wriggling and fussy baby boy. His gummy mouth on display as he thrashes his head back and forth and his cheeks ruddy from upset. 

Jake’s heart swells as he strokes his cheek. Sometimes he still can't believe that this sweet little creature--the one with your eyes and his nose and your cheeks and his chin--is all his and all yours. You made him, every bit of him, and he is the most precious thing to ever grace this earth. Jake's sure of it.

“Hey there, cowboy,” he says softly. His son doesn’t let up yet, kicking his legs as Jake unzips the sleep sack. “S’alright, darlin’, daddy’s here.” 

All the tired floods his body and slips out under the door when Jake’s not looking. He holds his son against his bare chest, his body still so small and so soft. But then Jake is kissing the feathery hair on his head and bouncing lightly in his spot, heels digging into the rug. 

“What’s got you so upset?” Jake whispers, lips pressed against his son’s forehead. “Bad dream, baby?” 

Your son doesn’t respond. He just burrows into his fathers neck, his breaths stuttering and his mouth open and drooling. Jake pats his back a few times, kissing his cheek. He inhales his sweet, sweet scent and sighs.  

He loves the way your son smells--he just smells warm. He isn’t sure if it’s the body wash or the lotion or the sheets that does it. But he somehow just always smells good, like home, like you. 

“Let’s take a seat, huh? A little rock and roll never hurt nobody, huh?” He asks quietly as he sits in the rocking chair. 

If you were awake to hear his pun, you would’ve never let him hear the end of it. Jake makes a mental note to tell it to you over breakfast. 

Your son’s whimpers are fading fast, especially when Jake starts to softly rock him, tucking his chin on his head and patting his back softly. 

“Mama thinks you’re theatrical,” he tells your son, eyes fluttering shut. “And you definitely are. Mama also thinks you get it from me--and you absolutely do. Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, cowboy. You gonna be a little actor? Or a little lawyer?” 

Your son babbles quietly, fingers tangled in Jake’s hair as a form of self-soothing. Jake kisses his face a few more times. 

“Or you could just stay here with me and mama forever,” he whispers. 

And he knows that having a son has made him soft--like crying at that one Honda commercial kind of soft--because his eyes grow wet when he thinks of your son getting any bigger than he is now. He never wants a day to come where he can’t pull his son to his chest, sit down in the rocking chair, and make the tears stop. 

"I love you," he whispers. "Me and mama love you so, so much. More love than can fit in this whole world."

When you pad down the hallway, eyes full of sand and sleep from your very few hours slumbering, you don’t even have to touch the walls anymore to orient yourself. You know where you’re going even in the pitch-black hallway. 

Jake’s sleeping when you come into the nursery, the sound machine quiet in the corner of the room. Your son is still in his arms, sleeping against his chest. And God do they look alike right now in the light of the moon--both of them sleeping with their heads resting on each other’s, their mouths open, their fists clenched. 

You came in here to bring Jake back to the bedroom. But watching him hold your son, your sweet boy, in that rocking chair that he built in this room he put together--you decide that a few more hours of comfortable sleep isn’t worth it. Tempurpedic mattress be damned. 

So, you just carefully cross the floor. The rug is soft beneath your bare feet when you lean forward and stroke your son’s head, careful to have a soft touch that will not wake him. And then you’re kissing Jake’s warm cheeks, stroking his blonde locks, too. 

Jake stirs slightly, eyes twitching. Your heart swells. 

You sink onto the floor before the rocking chair, leaning against Jake’s legs. The rain is lulling you already and you yawn as you rest your cheek on his thighs. The rug is comfortable--you’re glad you went for this one. Your son is happy and sleeping and your husband is holding him and everything is right in the world. 

And just as you’re about to fall asleep again, Jake’s thighs cushioning you, Jake’s hand falls into your hair. He strokes a few times in welcome--hi, baby. 

 “Missed you,” you mutter. 

“Missed you,” he returns. His hand glides through your hair. “All’s right in the world now, huh?” 

“Yeah,” you whisper. “It is.”

happy Father's Day to those who celebrate <3

[salt-n-salt]

some lighthearted Shane + Jas scribblys.. i think it’s so cute that their winter fits match .. 🥹

[mobius-m-mobius]

Lokius + a S2 mid season summary 😅

[wonhes]

WARNINGS: SUGGESTIVE JOKES, LIGHT MAKE OUT SESSION, READER SITS ON SOHEE’S LAP (idk if that should even be a warning but just in case 😭)

DISCLAIMER: please keep in mind ALL cloud 9 characters are FICTIONAL. i’m never claiming any of the riize members are like how i’m writing them out to be in this series. if you don’t like how i’m portraying a member please simply stop reading and scroll away. thank you! 🤍

☁︎ — 7:28 PM MAY 31, 2024

looking at the mirror one last time, you quickly turn off the restroom light and move to go open the front door. at the sight of SOHEE standing in front of you, you immediately let go of the door handle and rush towards him.

meanwhile, sohee stood there rehearsing what he wanted to say to you. at the realization that the door was now open, he looks up at you and sends you a nervous smile.

“pretty girl-” he begins but is completely caught off guard with the feeling of your arms wrapping around his waist. tightly wrapping your arms around him, you rest your head on his chest. stumbling backwards a bit, sohee quickly regains his balance before dropping what he had in his hands and making way to wrap his arms around you.

“your heart is beating really fast,” you mumble after a while, slightly moving your head from his chest to take a peek at him. with rosy cheeks, sohee lets out a small chuckle and nods his head at you.

“for you,” sohee responds back. “it only ever beats fast for you.”

smiling up at him, you move over to place a kiss on his cheek and slowly remove your arms from his waist. not wanting to let go of you, sohee quickly moves a hand to grab on to yours. quickly looking down at your hands, you gently intertwine your fringes with his before taking a small step backwards to get a better view of him.

“i’m sorry,” you say, causing sohee to immediately scrunch up his face in utter confusion.

“no,” he shakes his head at you. “i’m the one who’s sorry.”

“pretty boy-” you start, only for sohee to continue shaking his head at your words.

“you have every right to be upset.” he states as he lightly squeezes your hand.

“pretty girl i’ve never-” he quietly continues. sohee finds himself avoiding eye contact, embarrassed on what he’s about to say.

“i may not know what i’m doing but what i do know is that i want you.” he says, shifting his focus back on you. “i want to keep learning more about you and what you like and don’t like,” he begins ranting. “i’ve never done this before—“ he lets out a shaky sigh. “but i really want this with you. i want to learn. i may be confused right now, not fully knowing how to navigate this but i really do want this. i want this with you. i want you.” he slightly repeats himself, trying his best not to stutter as he gives your hand another tight squeeze.

“i’m sorry it took me forever to realize i was upsetting you, i swear i didn’t do it on purpose. i didn’t mean to ignore you, or make it seem like if i was putting anton before you. i was hanging out with him to try and get him to be okay with us dating. i didn’t fully understand what was happening until it was too late. i didn’t know he was rubbing it in your face. i never meant to-”

“pretty boy-”

“no, pretty. please listen,” sohee pouts at you. “i didn't mean to hurt you and god i am so sorry that i hurt you-”

“sohee,” you let go of his hand to place both of your hands on his cheeks. “look at me,” you mumble out.

“we’re okay,” you say, causing sohee to immediately shake his head at you. “pretty boy, i was jealous because you kept hanging out with anton and ignoring me-” you sigh as you look up at him.

“it wasn’t on purpose,” sohee cuts you off, sadly eyeing you.

smiling at him, you nod at him before continuing. “i didn’t know it was because you were trying to get on his good side.”

“he’s your brother, pretty. i want him to like me enough for him to like the idea of us dating,” he mumbles shyly.

“pretty boy-”

“don't get mad but i also showed him our texts so he could help me figure out what else might be wrong.” sohee immediately scrunches up his face and closes his eyes to avoid seeing your reaction.

gasping at his sudden confession, you bring both hands to cover your mouth. “sohee,” you say in disbelief.

hesitantly opening his eyes, sohee tries his best to not mumble how cute you look with your current expression. “pretty girl, he’s my best friend,” sohee tries reasoning with you.

shaking your head at him, you bring a hand up in the air to let him know to give you a moment. “my brother saw my down bad texts,” you mumble out in complete horror. “oh my god.”

biting his bottom lip to stop himself from letting out a small chuckle, he brings his hand to grab yours once more and gently caresses your hand with his thumb.

“pretty, he saw my down bad texts too,” sohee tries making you feel better. “but thanks to him i realized what was going on.”

looking up at him confused, you tilt your head at him waiting for him to continue. “i’m sorry for not catching on to your hints. i honestly didn’t even know they were hints. i was too busy focusing on getting anton to like me again and i just- in my head it doesn’t make sense that you would want to hang out with me so i didn’t read too much into them,” he quietly added. at his confession, you soften your expression.

“pretty boy, i like you. of course i’m going to want to hang out with you. i don’t want just texts or phone calls or facetime calls,” you say pouting at him. “i want you. i want to see you, physically. i want to learn everything about you too.” you ended, smiling at him before slightly tugging at his hand. “let’s go inside?” brightly smiling down at you, he nods at your words.

“wait!” he suddenly says causing you to stop your movements. “pretty girl i dropped your flowers,” sohee sadly states as he bends down to pick up the bouquet. pouting at you, he looks down at the flowers once more and takes notice of their current state.

“pretty boy,” you giggle out, trying to take the bouquet from his hand.

“my pretty girl deserves pretty flowers, i’m so sorry. when you hugged me i just threw them on the ground without thinking,” he sadly mumbles, looking at you with big sincere eyes.

“pretty boy,” you chuckle at his expression. moving a hand to cup his cheek, you bring his focus back to you. “i think they’re beautiful.”

“i think you’re more beautiful,” he quickly says back, in a complete daze. blushing at his compliment, you send him a small shy smile.

“i’m going to kiss you, if that’s okay-” you start telling him only for him to quickly nod at you.

“yes!” he immediately answers back. “more than okay.”

giggling at his reaction, you move to stand closer to him. looking at his eyes before looking down at his lips, you move your hand to the back of his neck to softly bring him closer to you. standing up straighter, you lean forward and slowly close your eyes. at the sight of you nearing closer to him, sohee looks down at your lips before closing his eyes and slightly tilting his head and closing the gap between you two.

placing a small peck on his lips, you gently move away and offer sohee a smile only for him to immediately crash his lips against yours for another kiss.

with your lips now touching his once more, you find yourself letting go of his hand to place it on his chest. bringing a hand up to your chin, sohee continues kissing you back causing you to slowly move your hand and place it behind his neck. with both hands on his neck now, you move one towards his scalp and gently run your fingers through his hair as you deepen the kiss.

feeling your hands on him and you lightly tugging on his bottom lip, sohee immediately drops the bouquet of flowers yet again, and brings a hand to your waist to pull you closer to him, if even possible. giggling at his urgency, you give him one last peck before moving away, causing sohee to let out a small whine in protest.

“let’s go inside, yeah?” you breathlessly ask, bringing a hand to his arm to guide him towards the door.

“pretty girl,” sohee whines causing you to stop walking and look back at him. pouting at you, he looks down before shifting his focus on you. “i dropped your flowers again,” he pouts, annoyed with himself.

☁︎ — 8:56 PM MAY 31, 2024

with sohee sitting on your bed, you bring a hand up to run your fingers through his hair.

“my favorite chocolate bar is milky way by the way,” you randomly state as you move to peck his lips.

“hm?” sohee confusedly asks. unsatisfied with the small peck, sohee puckers out his lips, silently asking you for another one.

“i only want you buying me my favorite chocolate bar so i’m telling you what it is,” you giggle at his expression, moving forward to place a kiss on his nose.

“anything else i should know?” sohee asked, smiling up at you as he places his hands on your waist.

“hm, i also really like you,” you chuckle out, watching as his cheeks turn a dark shade of red. embarrassed at your confession, sohee hides his face on your chest and pulls you closer to him by hugging your waist.

“can you feel it?” you gently whisper out. “my heart.” you add.

“it’s beating really fast,” sohee states. looking up at you from his current position.

“yeah, because of you,” you state, softly smiling down at him. with a big smile on his face, sohee places a kiss on your collarbone.

“i really want to kiss you again,” sohee admits. he wants nothing more than to feel your lips against his, especially now knowing that you like him just as much as he likes you.

“nobody is stopping you,” you whisper out, gently bringing yourself to sit on his lap. with your legs now resting on each side of his hips, you shyly smile at him. “is this okay?”

“more than okay,” SOHEE mumbles back before placing his lips against your own.

☁︎ — CLOUD 9

CHAPTER 27 — pretty flowers

summary !! after years of constant pining after his best friend’s sister, yn finally takes notice of sohee and sohee swears he’s on cloud 9. or in other words, loser sohee finally gets the girl.

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CLOUD 9 MASTERLIST

˚౨ৎ˚ taglist — @acidwon @astro-doll-the-star @addorations @aeoliannie @bbina @cake1box @callanton @calumsfringe @d3junlys @emohoon @ffixtionista @gyehyeonist @haeeeeefer @hakkkuu @hisrkive @https-yeonjun @i0134 @idkhoomanmaybe @jeeluv @jiaisfox @angelseokjinie @kaelysian @keilovr @lakoya @lcvehee @lecheugo @llearlert @lostinneocity @miyawwn @molensworld @nishimuraii @nujeskz @odxrilove @parkwonbinie @renjuneoo @riizewrld @rksbae @rosesfortaro @saranghoeforanton @secretiny @seunghancore @shoberi @snowyseungs @sseastar-main @st4rryhae @sunflowerbebe07 @spookybias @talk022 @totheseok @whatsk-poppinhomies @whoisgwyn @wonbin-truther @ywnzn

[daemontargaryenwhore]

[heynhay]

I've done the math, there's no solution, we'll never last

[lazyexcuse]

Priest: “Ok repeat after me”

Y/n, nodding with a smile: “After me.”

Priest leaning over to Levi, whispering: “Are you sure you want this one?”

Levi frowns: “Say your damn lines.”

[loveandpeaceanddoughnuts]

postwar!Levi absolutely chafes under enforced bedrest, unfamiliar and uncomfortable with doing nothing

his useless legs feel like cinderblocks holding the waterlogged sack of his body to a riverbed, drowning slow

his nervous system hasn’t caught up to the uneasy peace, flooding his veins with adrenaline that has nowhere to go, leaving him gasping for air and sick over the side of his bed

he can’t clean the mess, and that might be the worst thing of all, the helpless wait for someone to witness his weakness

postwar!Levi can’t tell his fevered dreams from reality, follows the green smudge of Erwin’s cloak across an endless battlefield, calls to his commander till he’s lost his voice and wakes up tasting copper

the people who come to check on him are not who he wants to see- why hasn’t Hange visited, changing his bandages with her steady hands?

he leads Isabel and Furlan up a set of stairs that never seem to end, crunching over the hollow bones of birds that died searching for the sky

postwar!Levi finds his clarity has returned one featureless morning and he weeps for the first time since the battle of heaven and earth, mourns the loss of the delirium that had left the door open for his loved ones to creep through

he begins to recognize the recurring figures at his bedside, the gentle touch on his forehead that signals your arrival with water or blankets or bread

the light of anything more than a candle burns his blind eye, so he learns your face only by the flicker of firelight, the absence of shadow

postwar!Levi is desperate for something to occupy his fractured mind, painfully empty without the urgency of strategizing survival

you hide your surprise when he asks you to read to him in a voice rasped with disuse, saying he doesn’t care what it is, just something to focus on outside of himself, and you understand

you begin to visit him every evening, reading softly from your favorite books as he lies taut and silent in bed, brow furrowed in concentration, breathing through the pain that wracks his battered body

postwar!Levi finds unlikely comfort in your voice, your consistent presence, the slow walks along the winding paths of the stories you tell him

you take a quiet pride in the way he seems to soften each night, just barely, the deep black shadows under his haunted eyes fading into the color of an old bruise, his furrowed brow smoothing into satin as you read

postwar!Levi is sitting up when you arrive one evening, gives you the barest incline of his head in self-conscious greeting

he frowns and shrugs off your praise for his progress, doesn’t want to hear of how miraculous it is that he can heave his once-superhuman body up against the headboard, doesn’t confess how long it took or how much it hurt

he does, however, ask you for tea, not telling you that it would be the first time he’s accepted a cup he hadn’t prepared himself, swallowing a sick resignation with the request

postwar!Levi makes eye contact with you for the first time when he offers gruff thanks, shivering as your fingertips brush around the warm ceramic

something clenches in your chest and you turn away to hide it, occupying yourself with invisible specks of dust on his bedspread

you’re busy swiping the corner of your apron over the nightstand and miss the way his eyes go wide, then soften as he watches you bustle around him

“it’s alright. you don’t have to-” “-I know.”

the two of you speak at the same time, fall into the same embarrassed silence, watching each other warily in the low candlelight

your shadows overlap where they are thrown onto the wall as if they don’t realize the distance between the bodies that grew them, or refuse to recognize it at all

[mellosdrawings]

Content warning, please mind the tags.

"Sometimes my wings feel too heavy."

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