#handmade pendulum

[wickedappalachian]

Manifestation Pendulums✨

[archibaldtuttle]

Just received this beautiful custom pendulum by @ink-and-teeth! It's the only blacksmith I would trust with such a personal project and it delivered ✨

[star-childrens-grotto]

Hekate's Key, handmade stainless steel pendulum with a natural crystal

Not every witch uses one, but why not if you'd like to?

Devoted to, and inspired by, the liminal goddess, the Keeper of Keys, Mistress of the Crossroads, Savior, Protector, — Hekate in some, or maybe more, of her names and aspects that we know.

Black obsidians are known for their protective abilities, as well as associations with grounding, drawing out stress and tension, and generally stabilizing your emotions.

The key is, of course, one of the most obvious symbols of Hekate (Hecate) Kleidoukhos.

And even though she is infinitely more than that, she is often called on for help with witchcraft practices, as well as deep introspection and battling long-standing fears and insecurities.

Handcrafted from durable and almost hypoallergenic stainless steel, including the key, with natural black obsidian.

You can find the listings here:

e-Bay

Ko-Fi

Can be worn as a pendant. Let me know if you need me to adjust the length of the chain or add a lobster clasp.

[lucemaria]

Pendolo in legno. Unico al mondo!

[sunlight-and-calliopes]

Lord Apollon

God of sunlight, medicine, healing, plague, oracles, truth, poetry, arts, the muses, and more.

Epithets

Phoebus ~ The Bright and Shining

Alexikakos ~ The Averter of Evil

Proopsios ~ The Foreseeing

Hekatos ~ The Far Shooting

Paian ~ The Healer

Lykios ~ Of The Wolves

Theoxenios ~ God of Foreigners and Strangers

Argyieus ~ Of the Streets

Latoios ~ Son of Leto

Pythios ~ Of the Python

Horios ~ Of Bounderies and Boarders

Animal Associations

Snakes

Dolphins

Wolves

Crows and Ravens

Hawks

Swans

Deer

Boars

Locusts

Mice

Plants

Laurel / Bay

Hyacinths and Larkspur

Delphinium

Sunflowers

Cyprus Trees

Offerings and Devotional Acts

Wine and other alcohols

Laurel wreaths and branches

Solar imagery

Lemons, oranges, and other citrus

Fresh or dried flowers

Books and journals

Divining tools (tarot/oracle decks, pendulums, casting bones, scrying, etc.)

Suncatchers

Handmade artwork

Lighting candles and incense

Playing or writing music

Drawing, painting, or otherwise creating art

Writing stories and poetry

Learning first aide

Donations and volunteer work

Community outreach

Spending time outside or in the sun

Learning new languages

Spending time with family (given or chosen)

(credit to @samspenandsword for the beautiful sun dividers!)

[harridansibyl]

Personal associations/interpretations of the dark/mystical houses (4th, 6th, 8th, 12th)

4th house

twisted tree roots, cultural practices, heirlooms, photo albums, inherited features, traditions, the mother, past lives, generational trauma, picture books, garden beds, childhood homes, ancestor altars, hand written recipe books, hearth, squeaky wooden floorboards, genealogy archives, caves, oak trees, baby wrap carriers, emotional security, cultural heritage, building foundations, photo albums, genetics, laundry lines, swing sets, property, mines, crops, sanctuaries, the chest and heart, home steads, fields, farms, root cellars, harvests, pots on stoves, brooms, backyards, agriculture, vines on trellises, handmade blankets, grandparents house, laundry baskets, attachment styles, singing lullabies, history, deep emotions, instincts, the unconscious, summer, waxing moon, vase of flowers, bath time, picking berries, celebrating holidays, chicken coops, older sisters, family gatherings, stone paths, forest walks, ancient structures/buildings, ancestral languages, cupboards, staying in

6th house

vitamins and supplements, morning routines, pharmacies, tasks and lists, doctors offices, health food stores, stomach medicine, hygiene practices, journals and planners, schedules, herbal teas, personal rituals, emergency kits, dog walks, lymphatic drainage, caregiving, donating blood, examinations and checkups, meditation, colour coordination, sticky notes, gastrointestinal problems, folded laundry, labels on everything, retirement homes, hand washing, braided hair, herb gardens, filing cabinets, face masks, kombucha, detailed diagrams, volunteer work, medicine cabinets, cleaning supplies, shelves, acts of service, skin care, organic linen, gauze and stitches, stress-induced illnesses, essential oil/herb baths, house plants, instructions, repetition, holistic medicine, giving advice, yoga studios, "gut feeling," bone broth

8th house

altars, divination, near death experiences, candle wax, feeling crushed by a heavy weight, grave dirt, red/dim lighting, funerals, double income, control, the underworld, cheques, insurance, heirlooms, ghost sightings, power imbalances, crime documentaries, ouroboros, bank accounts, grief and loss, shadow work, the womb, manipulation, scrying mirrors, Russian nesting dolls, keys, mortuaries, tests from the universe, pendulums, crime scene tape, the phoenix, projections, credit scores, animal bones on a forest floor, blood stained sheets, metaphysical shops, spiritual attacks, deep emotions, snakes, dead flowers, late autumn, wedding veils, envelopes, full moon, muddy boots, shadows at the corners of your vision, scarab beetles, inner processing, experiencing crisis, inherited possessions, natural disasters, sexual trauma, psychological studies, ancestral connections, cracked dolls, veil between realms, mental illnesses, deep connections, intimacy, reincarnation, torture devices, keys, whirlpools, the sound of sirens, unconscious fears, intense first impressions, pushing limits, feeling bound, scratches on walls, ten of swords

12th house

abandoned places, liminal spaces, long winters, shadowy figures, reoccurring dreams, repeated patterns, fog-filled forests, self analysation, inner worlds, cave systems, unfinished basements, hallucinations, solitary confinement, empty parking garages, spiral staircases, substance abuse, trapped in purgatory, hidden beneath the surface, maladaptive daydreaming, hospital hallways, confines of society, waning moon, moths, wandering aimlessly, disconnection from the world, psych wards, healing others, tired eyes or dark circles, chronic mental illness, suppression, addictions, hiding places, overnight shifts, unexplainable experiences, past life karma, exhaustion, cobwebs, others projections, catacombs, bird cages, premonitions in dreams, prescription bottles, self destructive patterns, late night walks, misty lakes, the feeling of walking out of the movie theater at night, identity crises, blurred faces, empty public transport, astral projection, comas, diary entries, dissociative episodes, shape shifting, generational trauma, observing people, mirrors, padded rooms, the afterlife, chain link fences, paradoxes, feeling misunderstood, repression or memory loss, hikikomori, the freeze response, disappearance, waiting rooms

[brummiereader]

Binding Love (Part Two/Dark!Tommy)

Summary: After a morning of relentless mulling over your fractured marriage and place in the world, you make a quick dash out the front door before Tommy learns of your plans for the day. But when your daughter's inquisitive mind reveals your intentions, Tommy's paranoia turns its ugly head.

Warnings: Dark!Tommy, language, violence, psychological mind games, controlling behaviour, toxic relationship, manipulative behaviour, psychological abuse, mutual pining, angst.

Word Count: 3.5K

[Masterlist] [Previous Part] [Trailer]

" Thank you, Frances" you smiled to your housekeeper in the mirror of your vanity, fingers cradling the cold mug of ginger tea cupped within your hands, you hoped would help you sleep the night before as she finished placing the last of the spindly wired pins in your hair.

" Mam" she laid the small leafed dish of jewellery in front of you as you placed each precious gem to your skin, when the faint clanging of the last piece rattled against the ceramic plate with a brush of your fingers.

" Oh..." your eyes drifted down to your wedding ring sitting lonesome along the ridges of the handmade keepsake. The corners of your lips turning down in sadness at the ache the circular band still managed to pull within your chest.

Something so small, so simple, yet it held the weight of a decade's worth of memories. And although your husband's hand was still adorned with the gold band of vows you had made, yours wasn't. Only the lingering indent of where it once sat remained, embedded into your skin as a reminder of who you'd forever be bound to through the years of your youth you had spent together.

" Right" you rose from your seat, brushing the tear that had settled within the curls of your lashes as you made your way over to your wardrobe.

Hands brushing along the dozens of gowns hand-sewn with lace and sequins, your eyes drifted to a lone shirt of Tommy's nestled between the fabric of your clothes that had gone unnoticed when separating your belongings.

Fuck sake, you sighed to yourself at the constant reminder of his presence, releasing a stifled cry when the lasting notes of his cologne drifted towards you as you pulled it out from within your wardrobe, tightly clutching the cuffs of its arms within the palms of your hands.

You could have moved to one of the many guest rooms. But Tommy had insisted. Was it his way of making you remember, making sure you didn't forget?, your own paranoia began to nag you about the room that suffocated you every night with the reminder of the love that was shared in it, the passionate nights that once filled it.

" This one will do" you abruptly shoved it to the back of the cupboard in favour of a blouse, pulling yourself from recounting the blissful moments you found yourself gazing at through rose-tinted glasses, forgetting the reality of how dire things had become.

Happy times had been replaced with a darkened mood, an unpredictable temper that would sway back and forth to the sound of the pendulum in your foyer to whatever had displeased its owner. For when Tommy's mood was good, it was good. And when it was bad, it was very, fucking, bad.

Deciding to no longer be the kept woman, the woman that had barely a thought to herself her husband hadn't invaded, you had come to the realisation that it would be your responsibility to pull yourself out of the limbo Tommy was intent on keeping you in.

"It's quite chilly outside, Mam. Perhaps something a little warmer?" Frances voiced as her hurried steps raced towards you in a panic after noting the sheerness of the top you had chosen, sheer enough to see a peak of thrills from your brassiere.

" They say it will be mild later today" you shrugged off your gown into a bundle of fabric on the floor as you caught the worrying concern in her eyes.

" Perhaps, perhaps a cardigan then, if it gets too...cold" you relented, watching the relief wash over her as she eagerly searched behind you for a wooly garment that would cover you enough to get you through the front door without your husbands raging jealously making itself known to all those unfortunate enough to be within close vicinity.

" That's better" Frances adjusted the back of your fleecy shawl as you looked at the reflection of yourself in the weathered glass of your bedroom window, pulling the buttoned clothing around the curves of your chest.

Still, a kept woman.

" Elsie, come on! We're going to be late!" you called up the stairs, furiously tugging at the prickling fabric of your cardigan, itching the back of your neck as you paced the foyer. Eager to get going before the sound of your husband's phone call ended, and he learnt of your day's plans.

" Where's my pony? I can't find it!" You heard an avalanche of toys being tossed onto the wooden floors of her bedroom as she searched for her most cherished of toys.

Come on, come on, your body began to panic as you rolled forward from your heel to your toes to see the back of your husband drifting left and right between the crack in the door, receiver still in hand as he gave his orders to the poor soul on the opposite end of the line.

" Elsie!" You called after your six-year-old for a second time, perching on the bottom step of Arrow Houses's grand staircase as your head craned up to see what was taking her so long, when her bouncing curls and plump cheeks suddenly appeared, hopping down each wooden slab with her treasured horse in hand.

" Go, go, go" you ushered her along, simultaneously attempting to tie her hair into a plated braid with each skipping step of her booted feet along the marble floor as your eyes nervously darted to Tommy's office that had now, suddenly gone quiet.

" Ow Mummy, you're hurting me!" Her hand flew to her head in protest as you tried to twist the band around to keep her hair in place.

" I'm sorry darling, but we'll be late for the bus and Mummy's interview if we don't get moving" you winced as the skin of your fingers dragged along the tight elastic, finally pulling the last of her locks through.

" Daddy!" She screeched, turning her head and feet to the sight of Tommy appearing from behind his office door.

Shit.

" Morning princess" a smile grew on his face as she bounded into him, squeezing her little arms around his waist as he shuffled forward from foot to foot until he reached you, inches from making it out the door before the interrogations began.

" Sweetheart" he pressed a longing kiss to the side of your head, hand threading into the locks of your hair as you shrugged away from the charade of a happily married couple he was adamant on maintaining in front of your daughter.

" Car's waiting outside" he said as his fingers settled on Elsie's shoulders stood behind her, her petite hands clutching onto his as his eyes roamed over your choice of outfit.

"But mummy said we're taking the bus" your daughter pouted up to the frown of confusion creasing on Tommy's forehead.

" The bus?" Your husband's eyes darted up to you as you adjusted the bag in your hand, feeling the familiar heat of his piercing stare begin to burn your face.

" I thought you were meeting Linda and Ada to go over her wedding plans?" Tommy's frown stayed firmly knitted between his brows as he watched your fumbling fingers pull out your small silver pocket mirror, wiping the corners of your ruby-stained lips.

"Well, won't you need the car for that?" You heard a heavy sigh of irritation follow his questions at your silence. The small brown haired barrier between you both, stopping him from letting his annoyance slip and forcefully demanding it from you instead. " Y/N?"

" I have somewhere to be first" you snapped the mirror shut as you cleared your throat, when the innocence of your daughter's curious mind revealed your true plans for the day.

" What's an interview?"

Double shit.

"You have a job interview?" Tommy scoffed a stifled laugh of disbelief, shaking his head as his veiny hands straining with annoyance came up to brush down his mouth.

" Something Mummy has no business in doing, Elsie" the tone of his voice deepened, scolding you through his reply to your daughter's inquisitive mind.

You were slipping further away from him with each passing day. Why wasn't he told about this? He was slacking, his men slacking, Tommy thought to himself as his breath became heavy, his shoulders tensing with anger as you continued to ignore his questions to pat the creases that had already begun to appear in your daughter's school dress when Tommy's eyes suddenly darted to the blouse you had chosen, peaking through the open button of your cardigan that had slipped through its hole.

" An interview" he quietly mumbled with a breathy exhale of suspicion as you quickly pulled the front of your top around your chest.

Rising to your feet, your eyes caught sight of his glaring anger in the silence that weighed heavy between you. A stare intent enough to have you believe that it was you, who had done something so atrocious, that it deserved his sour reaction.

" Elsie, what do you think of Mummy's new...clothes?" Tommy broke the tension as his eyes stayed firmly fixed on you, using your daughter to have his displeasure with your outfit made known.

" Pretty" she grinned a toothy smile as her hands reached out to feel the soft fabric. " Like the feather dancers at Uncle Arthur's work" she blushed shyly at the beauty her mother radiated and the many sparkling jewels that adorned your skin she dreamed you'd one day let her wear.

" Thank you, my sweet girl" you stepped forward, brushing your fingers through the locks of her hair when your eyes cast up to the protruding bone of your husband's jaw inches from your face, his heavy breath fanning across your lips.

" Go get your school bag, love" Tommy let go of your daughter's shoulders as she merrily skipped away from the gap he was closing between you.

" Feather dancers. So a whore, then?" He mumbled through gritted teeth as he pulled the front of your cardigan to the side, fingers sweeping under the top of your exposed lingerie. " You gonna whore yourself out for this job too, eh?" He cocked a brow as you pushed past him.

" It's just fabric, Tommy" you straightened your clothes as you waited on your daughter.

" Elsie, come on, let's go" you urgently reached your hand out for her to take as she fumbled with her coat when Tommy abruptly pulled you back into his body.

" What happened to you, hm? I don't even fucking recognise you anymore" you felt his grip tighten around your arm as he quietly voiced his opinion on what he believed was a change in your personality.

"What I wear is no longer your concern, now is it Tommy?" You responded in a hushed voice as you pulled away to your daughter patiently waiting by the door.

"I'll race you there" you smiled down at your dimpled cheeked child as she eagerly nodded her head.

" We have a whole fleet of cars, Y/N. Y/N!" He called after you, hands on hips as he stood at the bottom of the winding stairs. Watching you jog off with your giggling six- year-old before his eyes flew up to the second floor and the paranoia he needed to settle.

" You're late" Linda clicked her tongue, patting the seat beside her as you arrived in a tangled mess of hair, slipping garments and rolling eyes at the soon-to-be Shelby members' orderly manner.

" First, let's go over the itinerary" she pulled out a floral notebook, her fingers scrolling down the many pages or arrangements she had already made for her big day.

" Goodness Linda, can we not have some tea, or perhaps something a little stronger to get us through this joyous occasion" Ada sent you a playful wink as you shrugged off your bag, settling into the chair between them.

" How are you?" Your sister-in-law probed, quickly noting the deep bags of exhaustion under your eyes and the heavy sigh accompanying them. " Let me guess, my dear brother?"

" He went and pulled a Tommy special again, Ada" your hand trembled up to your brow, pinching the six months worth of stress you couldn't seem to rid yourself of.

Shakey hands, sleepless nights, you thought to yourself, burying your fingers under your legs to hide your rattling nerves. Was it all worth it?

" Yes, I did hear about that" she sent you a sympathetic smile of understanding. Knowing the lengths her brother would go to make his point, as he continued to stubbornly dig his heels in.

" I think the whole of Birmingham did" a sudden wave of shame reddened your cheeks with the learnt knowledge that every living soul in the fogged city was now aware of your and Tommy's strained relationship.

"It's been postponed, the...divorce that is" you mumbled, barely able to mutter the catalyst that caused said blaring row. The word alone, causing your stomach to twist into an unbearable ache for the love that was still there for him.

"And your interview, this morning?" Ada's attempt to change the heavy topic of conversation was gratefully welcomed when a smile began to dimple into your cheeks. For your trusted sister-in-law had seen the stress the separation had put on you, been at the brunt end of her brother's phone calls as he accused her of spurring on your decision to end the marriage.

"I got the job" you scooted your hands from their numbing position, fingers brushing a lock of hair behind your ear as she matched the excited grin on your lips.

" I'm meeting him, my boss, for drinks later. To go over the finer details, and in celebration for his newly hired typist...me" you giggled as a surge of confidence bubbled in your stomach at your first step into becoming an independent woman when Ada's smile suddenly dropped.

" Him...drinks?" her eyes began to widen, darting to the side of your cheery smile at the young peaked cap man sat a couple of tables behind, tipping his hat before slipping away.

"Y/N perhaps drinks are not..."

" Ephesians chapter five, verse two..." Linda interjected into the conversation her rosey notebook had taken all her attention with.

" Ada, what is it?" your brow creased, ignoring the beginnings of Linda's religious lecture, her eyes snapping back to you as she swiftly clutched her fingers around your hand.

"Ada?" You quietly mouthed when your gaze drifted over the concern filling her sapphire eyes, the same concern you saw in France's that very morning, the realisation your giddy stupidity had clouded, suddenly hitting you.

It was just a drink to celebrate, he didn't have to know? And if he found out, surely he'd understand? It was a new job, you couldn't turn the offer down, it would be impolite. You were separated...you and Tommy separated.

" Wives, submit to your own husband. As to the lord..." Linda's ill-timed words of advice drifted to you as you released your hand from Ada's clutches.

As the continued martial counsel buzzed relentlessly in your ear, you let your body slump into the cushioned fabric of your chair until the drowning religious verses muffled with the sounds of twirling spoons tapping against their porcelain tea cups, scrapping knives cutting freshly baked cakes until nothingness, complete silence.

How could you have been so stupid? So naive to have thought you could support your daughter on a mere typist's wage? That Tommy wouldn't move heaven and earth before he'd see the likes of you working so closely with another man? That word wouldn't get back to him about your planned drinks?, you thought to yourself as the distant sound of Ada calling your name echoed through each delayed blink of your welling eyes.

Divorce, another one of your stupid ideas, from your stupid list of stupid things you thought you could achieve, you continued your onslaught of self-inflicted insults as a tear rolled down the slope of your cheek.

And the worst thing about it all, about the whole fucking ordeal...you still loved him. Still, hopelessly in love with him. Pathetic, a hand shook your arm as your head cast down, remembering the cascade of decisions that had everything fall apart.

For when you no longer needed the guiding hand of your husband, his opinions nor protection as you began to blossom into a woman and spread your wings, came Tommy's paranoia. Fear of losing you to life's wonders, to another man, your husband's clutches began to tighten to the unbearable point where every waking breath wasn't without him looming behind you.

And yet you soldiered through, the thought of separation too torturous to contemplate as he continued to tighten his chains around you until he pushed you to the point where a tearful outburst had you asking for the dreaded seven letter word, an outburst that finally had you seeing the man your husband had kept in the shadows. The real, Thomas Shelby.

" Flowers. A dozen red roses on each side of the altar. Like the ones my Artie picks for me" Linda's voice suddenly snapped you from your thoughts, her insufferable happiness searing through the stained memories you shared with Tommy.

Maybe she was right after all. Submit to your husband. The only sensible, optional choice. Right?

Bolting two steps at a time to your once shared bedroom, Tommy threw open the door, eyes wide as he scanned the room.

You were seeing someone, fucking someone, he told his raging paranoia as he began to wade through your belongings, pulling your cupboard draws out one by one in search of something, anything that would confirm his suspicions.

" Fuck!" His hand slammed the last drawer shut, finding nothing that would give him the justification to interrupt your days plans and confront you about your lies.

What the fuck was he doing?, he perched himself on the edge of your vanity, fingers threading through his hair as a heavy sigh of exhaustion left his lips. He was losing you, he told himself, burying his head in his hands as he swallowed down the nagging guilt of his own making creeping up his throat.

You loved him, needed him. You were just...Tommy refused to believe otherwise, refused to accept your separation as he pulled a cigarette from within his suit jacket when a smack of reality hit him with the winking shine of your gold wedding ring catching the corner of his eye.

Puffing a cloud of smoke from his lips, Tommy rubbed the small band between his fingers, lifting it to his face to see his engraved initials entwined with yours inside of its metal frame.

Was that when you began to distance yourself from him? After your wedding? When you no longer sought out his advice, cared to sit and watch him work, choosing rather to meet new people, go new places without him? To... modernise? he cleared the bitter taste of resentment from his throat, clutching the lone piece of jewellery within his hand, clutching onto the remnants of your marriage for dear life before tossing it onto the table for all to see like you had your marriage.

" Just what are you up to, hm?" Tommy's distrust quickly returned, feeling hurt by the sight of your wedding ring laid cold on its ornate tray as he picked up the small photo frame of you and Elsie he had taken on a trip to Brighton many moons ago.

" You better not be lying to me darling. You know what happens when..." Tommy's eyes drifted from your portrait to the mug of cold tea sat on your vanity. It's distinct smell, awakening his senses and anger in one quick, sweeping moment.

Ginger.

Commonly used for insomnia. But also consumed in regular doses as a form of contraception. A tea Tommy would tease you about in your early years of dating with it's uselessness as you refused to rely on his preferred, and most notoriously unreliable method of, pulling out.

It had been many months since you and Tommy had shared your martial bed, many months since you basked in the warmth of each other's bodies.

You weren't fucking him. So who were you sleeping with?, Tommy seethed at the idea of another man touching you that wasn't him, all logical thinking swiftly taken over by a blazing fury behind the viscous storm brewing behind his eyes at the lies he was convinced you had told him. Lies he'd get to the bottom of before the day was over.

" My car, now!"

Next Part

Tag list: @peakyswritings @justrainandcoffee @garrison-girl-08 @meadows5 @lavender-haze-01

@strangeobsessed @ttae-yong @lemonwithstupidity @lindsay00000 @mischievouslittlecreature

@jbrownta @lau219 @whereismymindnow

[jennifernicolejewelry]

[likeadeadbattery]

Everybody say hi to my new ESSA in training, Cairo!

She’s a German Shepard that’s hella fluffy. Serious and performs her job to a T. Not the most friendly of stuffed animals, but will accept a pat from time to time.

I’m working on getting some pins for her harness/collar and maybe a tag too. The hook on the collar is hidden because I had to overlap it to get it to fit- hope she isn’t strangled 😵

She’s not only an ESSA, but also an agere buddy. And just a security dog. She’s highly reactive and has triggers, just like me. I have lots for various things (trauma, anxiety, depression) that the meds can’t exactly help.

She defends (also against for the last two things) many things- my pendulums, my most fav things, my dreams, me sleeping, uh- from meanies- totally not my dad- you get the point.

I figured I’d pick out a bag that fits the season- you can’t really see it, but it’s a handmade Halloween drawstring from my friend.

Shoutout to @catfang12 for giving me some advice on picking one!

[alatismeni-theitsa]

I have some questions abt hellenic polytheism and how its practiced. I myself have been practicing it for a while, but something I noticed while researching about it is a distinct lack of actual greek people in online social media spaces. It was first brought to my attention after seeing a reddit post and youtube video explaining how using “hellenismos” is considered cultural appropriation. After that, Ive noticed how the main sources Ive used about hellenic polytheism isnt really from the people whos culture were trying to practice. AKA non greeks.

I would like to know your explanations on the basics of hellenic polytheism like altars/shrines, khernips, prayers, devotees, tarot/oracle cards, pendulums, kharis, and offerings. There might be some knowledge that I got wrong and need to change, like maybe the way I give offerings needs fixing and I need to give more perishable offerings like food than handmade crafts like art for apollo. And maybe theres a spicic way to do it and not just place it on the altar. Other than websites like hellenicfaith.com, r/hellenism is usually my main source with a grain of salt because of the strange lack of greeks in discussions, and although my friend who is also practicing hellenic polytheism gives me a lot of advice, their main sources are tiktok and. Well, I dont think I need to explain why thats a bad source. (Their main justification is “of course tiktok isnt that serious” and “it comes from the pagans themselves”)

Also, Im also curious on your thoughts about people who practice in secret.

I hope this isnt too long, I just wanna make sure Im using a better source than reddit because, well, its reddit. Not the most reliable source.

Hello! If you don't mind I will also address two more questions I got on the matter, since I feel they are related to yours. They are the following:

Hello all! You did very well to seek Greek sources because you are essentially dealing with a foreign culture and it's not right to assume it looks just like your local one. I will guide you as much as I can but I am very open to being corrected by knowledgeable Greeks and xenoi alike because I am not an infallible scholar. As always, my posts are open to additions in case I missed something.

Let me start by saying I believe it's important to focus on the living Greeks as well, in parallel to your studies of ancient religious texts. Not only were our ancient people diverse with various opinions but... they are also dead and cannot speak anymore. So, it's the alive Greeks who now handle and pass down the culture. If something gives the ick to modern Greeks, it probably goes against what the culture considers appropriate or strange.

Greeks will get "the ick" even if they are not well-read on ancient Greek customs, because the Greek culture largely holds its philosophy when it comes to worship. Disclaimer: This is not an unbroken rule, as some of our cultural elements have shifted or changed, as it happens to all cultures around the globe, and also because a Greek does not know everything. But it's good to keep that general statement in mind.

An example of a practice not seen favorably by Greeks nowadays is some Western women practitioners covering their heads because of Hellenic Polytheism. The ancient faith may demand it but the veil was forced a lot on Greek women and collectively we believe it doesn't make any sense to wear it, even in scenarios of faith tied to our culture. Now, that doesn't mean that it's any of our business if a Hellenic Polytheist wants to veil but it'd be good for this person to have knowledge of the history and rights of Greek women, and really evaluate why they want to veil beyond "the ancients did it", since Greek culture is largely disagreeable to that practice now. Find a larger discussion on veiling here.

Also please capitalize the first letter of Apollo's name because this shows proper respect ;)

Let's dive into specifics a little bit. Our culture was and is practical and anthropocentric. It takes into account reality and environment, as well as human nature.

For the anthropocentric aspect: Yes, there are general guidelines because we are talking about a tradition here but no one will take your head if you do it a bit differently. As for the practical aspect: if you give non-perishable items to the gods by putting them on their altar, in 10 years you won't have a space in your house to stand. If they are non-perishable you have no reason to remove them. Because if you remove them is like taking back offerings that were meant for the deity.

The offerings of Greeks in Polytheism and Christianity included perishable items such as food, candles/oil lamps, flowers, incense, libations, etc. And since they go bad you have a reason to remove them. But you also don't want any waste on the streets or in your house. Even the sacrificed animals were meant to be eaten, and the Greek communities believed that the smell of roasted meat made the gods rejoice. In some cases, offerings that were left outside were meant to be consumed by the homeless and travelers. Everything has a purpose and a reason within that specific community. (Flowers not so much, they are just ornamental)

It's not that you cannot or should not offer non-perishable items to the gods. I'm sure a few don't hurt anyone. Just keep in mind that if the offering is a non-perishable item it is/was usually offered to the temple, so the priests can sustain themselves and continue doing their religious service on behalf of the community. We are talking about coins, clothing, jugs, animals, or whatever else.

Continuing on the matter of offerings. A small rant on how clueless some people seem to be about offerings. It would be weird to knit a winter scarf for a god and then wear it yourself because that's not how dedication/devotion works in the Greek context. Also, leaving that winter scarf on the altar doesn't make sense either because it's just… impractical in the Greek sense. You are wasting a scarf, to put it plainly. But if you make something for one deity then give it to the deity, don't wear it yourself.

I'll tackle a few more specifics now. I think you already know what they mean so I will give my opinion on them rather than explaining them. I think my opinion is shared by many Greeks.

hellenismos -> I am not sure if it's appropriation but it's surely inaccurate. Here is why, for those who wonder, with some suggestions on how to call yourself. (hint: Hellenic Polytheist is fine)

on how to be respectful and accurate: I always recommend reading as many ancient Greek texts as possible the view of the gods directly from the ancient worshipers themselves. You can read whatever texts interest you, including plays. Plays are my favourite source, to be honest. Understand on your own what the text says. The Hymn to Demeter is focused on the pain of a mother, which is pretty obvious, you are under no obligation to hear Kate the TikToker who insists on something different. You don't have to hear YouTubers who tell you Zeus is an asshole when ancient texts show us the opposite, and give a good context on why he does what he does.

altars/shrines -> The altars I've seen are usually fine, so I think western polytheists have this down. The ancient ones would be more homogenous but in our era the religion is unorganized so it's up to the individual to create an altar. Greeks still have altars in their homes as a continuation of our polytheist practices and they also have some variation. Generally, all good here.

khernips -> χέρνιψ literally translates to "washer of hands". It's a Greek practice to have clean hands before touching any sacred objects, either in Dodekatheism or in Christianity. We do not always follow it but it's important. Our old custom is also to wash hands, face, and feet before entering our Christian temples (that's why there are κρήνες outside many of them) but that's not practiced anymore because our hygiene is overall better and we already visit the temple while clean.

The cleansing part will feel natural for most Greeks and not unfit for the whole procedure. You can also cleanse items with water if the purification ritual says so. Don't lose sleep over it. Remember practicality. Khernips is just water with which you wash your hands and you can do it before a meal, like we do today. It is meant to keep you clean but doesn't bear any spiritual force - it's not like the holy water of Christians which is imbued with divine power. It's just water included in a practice that helps the religious person get ready for spiritual time.

Also! Khernips doesn't mean that you wash the whole body! It's second part, νήβω / nivo = rub is connected to cleaning body parts. For the cleanliness of the whole body we used/use "λούω / λούζω". Fun fact, on of the greatest christian temples Hagia Sofia, had a reminder outside the gate with the same verb, and it was an anagram. "ΝΙΨΟΝ ΑΝΟΜΗΜΑΤΑ ΜΗ ΜΟΝΑΝ ΟΨΙΝ", meaning "wash your sins, too, not just your face". This anagram is found in other Christian sites, as well.

prayers -> Any prayer is good. There are only a few ways a prayer can go "wrong", since there's not a subscription for that. For example a prayer has to usually praise the magnanimity of the deity, even if you are just doing it to ask something, but words from the heart are also fine. Zeus won't smite you if you include him in a phrase without praising him first.

devotees -> Afaik this was a rare phenomenon in antiquity and it's only nowadays that Westerners decided that everyone is a devotee, which looks weird to Greeks because being a devotee doesn't work exactly like Westerners do it. You don't get to pick one god, talk 99% of the time about that god, or worship just them and not recognize the whole pantheon, or just give little attention to them.

Ancient Greek towns and people had gods they were closer to, for sure, but from what I know they didn't have the same concept as modern foreign worshipers today. They were not "αφιερωμένοι"/devoted, unless they devoted their life to a deity by serving in their temple. The devoted/devotees were not everyday people.

The everyday people felt closer to some gods in the way someone can have a saint or a prophet that they align themselves with, that they feel like they can see themselves on them, or that these gods see them, or that they are related to their struggles, or have given them some sort of protection. A cultivator of vineyards will probably feel closer to Dionysus, while a fisherman to Poseidon, and a warrior to Ares. It's the same for Christian Greeks, since each of the saints has one domain and we call on them depending on our needs.

I mean, it's okay if modern people want to make new things, but we should also be clear on the nature of the ancient practice.

tarot/oracle cards, pendulums -> They are unrelated to the practice. They are just recent elements of western spiritual fascination, and the ancient Greek religion is already complete without them. If Apollo chooses to reveal himself through tarot he may as well reveal himself on a toaster xD A toaster is as related to the ancient Greek religion as much as tarot cards.

kharis -> Some Westerners overhype foreign words that are, in reality, very simple terms. Kharis is just "the grace of god" and the concept is similar to the grace spoken in Christianity, Islam and Hinduism. Kharis is not lost if you forget to wash your hands once, or if you are afraid that the item you placed on the altar is not good enough. You don't have to tiptoe around it, it's not something incomprehensible and mystical.

miasma -> Nobody asked for it but I am delivering it anyways because I see many new people to the religion treat miasma like they are 5th-century Greeks who will be punished by the plague if they menstruate too close to the altar. I've seen endless discussions online about what miasma is and all the detailed ways that you can avoid it, and how to cleanse everything and... as a 21st-century practitioner you are not supposed to be that fearful. In the Πλυντήρια festival, the statue of Athena goddess was washed clean but also cleansed metaphorically by people's sins. And you can cleanse your statues as well of course but not with the mindset of considering yourself unclean. Do not follow every advice from ancient people who thought women unclean when menstruating. Ironically, this post and this post from r/hellenism have a good approach to this. As one user says:

people who practice in secret -> I don't have particular thoughts for them. If they must hide their spirituality for reasons beyond their control, it's natural for them to do so. I wish them the best in their spiritual journey.

Take a look at my F.A.Q. page, and more specifically on these questions:

Can I worship the Greek gods as a xenos (non-Greek)?

What do Greeks think of people outside of Greece worshiping the Greek gods?

Reading List / Book recommendations on Greek Mythology

Are the Greek gods assholes? // What’s up with gods coupling with mortal women?

Also, when it comes to the practices of the ancient Greek religion, Google Scholar is your friend. Read a variety of scholars and please include Greek ones on your reading list. Western academia focuses a lot on what the myth means to The West today, while Greek academia focuses on what the myths meant in their time. Some classical students report that studying classics in Greece VS in the US can be night and day, and they got a more authentic feeling from the knowledge they gained from the Greek classes.

For gods, festivals, and rituals in Greece, I have some recommendations below, if you’d like to take a look! (The links open directly to them so you can read them for free)

Let it rain’, or ‘rain, conceive’: Rituals of magical rain-making in Ancient Greece, a comparative approach. In Roca, Z. et al. (eds.): European Landscapes and Lifestyles: The Mediterranean and Beyond. Lisboa: Edições Universitárias Lusófonas 2007: 285-304.

Cosmos 17 (2001), 197-251 Rituals of Magical Rain-Making in Modern and Ancient Greece: A Comparative Approach by Evy Johanne Håland

http://en.arch.uoa.gr/fileadmin/arch.uoa.gr/uploads/images/evy_johanne_haland/cosmos_17-2_haland.pdf

p.s., I call Christian temples "temples" because that's how we call them. We use ναός very frequently for our religious buildings.

I hope I covered your questions so far 💙😊 See you around, and have a great day!

✨🌺✨🌺✨🌺✨🌺✨🌺✨🌺✨🌺✨🌺✨🌺✨🌺✨🌺

If my posts have helped you in any way, consider buying me a coffee or giving a Paypal donation. I spend many hours per day on questions and posts, so that would support me a little.

[athenaeum-of-the-herald]

31 Days of Helpol; Day 1

Who was the first deity you began workshopping? Do you still worship them now?

My first devotion was to Lord Ares. I was constantly told he wasn't a "beginner's deity" but that always felt so silly to me.

When i first started worshipping him, I was just this clueless 21 year old girl in a christian household. I'd sit in the bathroom with a handmade pendulum made from a sword earring and a chain and I'd talk to him for as long as possible. During that time, I was suicidal and depressed and lonely, and speaking to him was the absolute hiloght of my days.

While I don't work as closely with him now, we will always have the title of the god that made me who I am today. He saved my life, and taught me to be stronger than I was. I can still feel him watching over me, and payting me on the back when I follow his teachings. Nudging me to keep going. And I'll never be able to repay him for all that he's done for me ♡

[dia-tribe]

Okayy this is the first and probably only heathen post I'll put on this blog (maybe ill start a sideblog idk yet) but i got management approval to post this.

Here's the altar i have set up for Ullr! It's been a few years in the making but after half a year ? of putting some genuine dedication in it's finally Real Good. It'll continue to grow and change but it's become a nice little centerpiece for my worship + practice. Warm feelings and heightened communication all around.

There's really not a lot of information about Ullr's likes and associations the way there is with the gods who Haven't been mostly lost to time but the act of discovering what those things are is very fulfilling.

Component deets under the readmore if ur into that mwah i hope everyone is using this weekend to find some stillness and rest.

Shelf is on the north wall, handmade out of planks from shelves that were in my great grandparent's cellar and apple logs (not visible). I've got one of those under-shelf baskets for my journal and tarot deck + some utilitarian bits.

Altar cloth is a rabbit hide that i've had for Years, topped with:

Mule deer skull with gemstones balanced on top

Hanging from the antlers is my pendulum, deer knucklebone necklace, some meditation beads i'm working on, and dried oranges.

muley antler points

abalone shell for open-practice plant burning (i'm incredibly partial to artemesia tridentata) I don't. actually know for sure that abalone for sure isn't closed practice but i'm not using the S word or burning endangered plants so i'm hoping that it's not that big of a deal

More stones (lots of carnelian, rocks with "snow" in the name, stones that have been or could be knapped into arrowheads)

Bits of copper and brass. Copper rings, penny runeset, brass leaf.

Bella Sara 2nd series card. Yasmin "Retreat and gather new energy for taking steps on the road". I understand if this seems like a weird addition but he spent a full day sending me sign after sign to allow myself to rest & then i tore through 2 full besa booster boxes and knew what I had to do

Altar bowl. He asked specifically for the seeds that i'm planting in my garden this year. They'll be pulled back out when it's time to plant but it works out fine because everything in this bowl ends up in the garden eventually. I always drop pennies that i find or get as change in here (these don't get buried) and I've found that he likes food that would be good for outdoorsy trips. Granola bars, jerky, hard candy, crackers. High protein or nourishing foods that can be thrown into a pack and snacked on while traversing.

Goblet in the back has more seeds

Incense dish. Small thrifted bread pan filled with salt to hold the incense, doubles as a black salt generator.

Candle with ihwaz. Red and green are favorites but white will also work.

Shot glass filled with incenses he likes so I don't have to keep the boxes out.

Runestones. Purchased black tourmaline set, set made of clay I purified from my backyard and fired in my fireplace, and a yet-to-be-made set (a pile of small, flat stones that I've been slowly collecting over the months. I live in a mountain region so there are some cool ones and I'm excited for this set. It'll probably be attuned to the landvaettir (the mountains and their children) but Ullr is watching over them for now.

Another goblet for liquid offerings

Brass bell

Yew branches! I picked these up last night and ouioguh it's about time. I'll get new ones when the berries are ripe and dry them really well so they'll last.

On the wall is a piece of glass are I made at the glass museum :) representative of yew and its berries. I'm gonna move this down so it's closer to the candle + lights up better. I had a taller candle when I put it up so it's a little high for this one.

The other side of the shelf is my partner's altar to Arawn (welsh god of the wild hunt). He also has a skull (whitetail). Typical couple who worships hunting gods.

That's it!! thanks for lettin me give you tha tour i hope you enjoyed it

[lucemaria]

Guarda "E poi arriva "l'esemplare" unico al mondo!" su YouTube

[wednesdaywitchcraft]

Setting up your altar is a personal manifestation of your soul and your personality in the way you practice your Magick. Each witch may have a unique set up that reflects who they are, what type of witchcraft they practice, and what is sentimental to them. As such, every altar may look a little different. There is no specific “correct way” to set up your altar. The right way to set up your altar is what feels right for you. Nevertheless, if you’re setting up your first altar and don’t know where to begin, here are a couple tips on how you can set yours up:

Where to set up your altar:

You can set up your altar anywhere! You can set it up in your home, in your garden, in your workspace (although the best place to set it up would be a more private space) but essentially an altar can exist anywhere you make the room for one. Typically the best place for an altar would be a bedroom, since its a space that most people are connected to spiritually and feel most at rest. My altar is set up in a corner of my walk in closet. It’s on the smaller side but its big enough for me to practice my craft. For those that need a much smaller space, you could set your altar up on a dresser, a nightstand, or even your windowsill. You could even get a portable altar that can be taken down and put up easily, which is good for those that live in smaller housing and those that like to travel.

Which direction should your altar face:

Again, this one is more of a personal decision. In Wiccan history, traditionally the altar is said to be facing North. However, you can face your altar in whatever direction feels right. Perhaps there is a beautiful view facing East that helps you meditate, or perhaps the area you want to set up your altar in only faces South. That is completely OK. As for me, I have my altar facing North-East, based on my preference on the elements I feel most connected to. I have two modes, I’m either completely grounded or completely in the clouds, so the elements I feel most connected to are earth and air; which is how I chose to position my altar. If you want to position your altar for the elements you feel most connected to, you would choose between North (earth), South (fire), East (air), and West (water). However you choose to position your altar should feel right to you.

What to put on your altar:

Your altar can consist of a few traditional things and personal things. You can have plants, crystals, candles, incense, and other traditional tools. You can also have personal items such as photographs, magazine clippings of something you want to manifest in your life, a homemade wreath or jewelry, or anything that feels personal to you such as a seashell or stone you picked yourself on your last hike or adventure. There’s a few things I personally believe every altar should have for spiritual protection purposes (this is my opinion only, not mandatory in any way) and those are:

an altar cloth

a candle

protective crystals (such as black tourmaline, smoky quartz, or amethyst)

incense or white sage

a fireproof bowl or cauldron

Additional things you may want to consider for your altar:

a wand (either premade or handmade) or athame

herbs or crystals for spells

a pendulum board or ouija board (if you wish to commune with spirits)

a chalice

something representing each of the elements

a compass

charms or small statues of things that you connect spiritually with

hand-picked items such as seashells, acorns, pine cones, leaves, feathers, or stones

Important things to remember about your altar:

I know I sound like a broken record saying this, but again, your altar should be personal. A reflection of YOU. If your altar feels right, then it’s right. If it feels like its missing something, add more to it. If it feels too cluttered or like too much, take stuff off. Your altar can change with you! You can switch things out as you feel your energy shift. Something that is very important to remember about your altar, is that it is a sacred place. Cleanse your altar if things start to not feel right after changing things up. Remember that things you find other places, may have picked up energy from that place/people, so be sure to cleanse any items you are bringing into your sacred space.

Blessed be

[twodogs-twocats]

We Fall Like Stars - A Sleep Token Novella

chapter 16

vore

WFLS Masterlist [READ ME for cw] I chapter 15 I chapter 17 (coming soon)

Read this chapter on A03

“Where did you get this?” Noa’s chest was hollow, the threat of a multitude of emotions lingering just around the next breath, but not quite ready to surface. She was still trying to understand what she was holding in her hands.

Danika’s voice, usually light and musical, was now dense and troubled.

“You know the forest shala your mom built?”

Of course she did, but Noa had never called it that. It was really just a glorified fire pit. Her mother had spent months wandering off to chop wood, haul rocks, and dig up dirt. The result – a hole in the ground where logs could be stacked, boulders of various shapes and sizes placed around it for seating. She had planned to host workshops here, invite all her hippy friends from near and far to sing kumbaya, or whatever it was they did, but she had died before she could really make use of it.

Noa had not been fond of the project in the slightest, though she had struggled to voice why at the time. Her mother had probably blamed it on teenage angst, but really, Noa had been sad her mother was spending more time in the woods than with her.

Noa nodded. 

“Your mom always said she chose that spot because it felt magical. And I agree. There is something special about that space. The trees grow so green, the birds always sing. We even found musk root there once. Your mom and I harvested it and spent days trying to distill it into an oil.”

Danika’s troubled expression was momentarily broken by a distant smile. Then her frown returned once again.

“She spent so much time out there,” Danika continued. “I never really questioned it, until I noticed she was more distant - than usual, that is - always looking up at the sky. She mentioned she had started having strange dreams, but never spoke much of them in detail.”

Noa’s belly churched. She didn’t like where this was headed.

“One day, your mom hands me this box. She seemed really off, but I just thought maybe she was just not feeling well or something. She told me to take good care of it. That we might need it one day. I had no idea what she meant. A week later, she died. I- I should have done something. Told somebody, once I realized she was acting strange.” Tears once again formed in Danika’s eyes. 

“There wasn’t anything you could have done. Don’t put that on yourself,” Noa said, her voice tired. “My mother was always acting strange. Besides, she died of a heart attack. No one could have predicted it.”

Danika let out a big breath, wiping at her eyes. “Anyways, it wasn’t long after that that I started having the dreams myself.”

At that time, Noa had been far too busy being a teenager to notice whatever trouble her mother might have been experiencing. And in all fairness, Laura had been so distant, Noa would not have even had the opportunity to notice, even if she had been paying attention.

“Noa, are you going to be okay?” Danika asked. 

She joined Noa on the bed, placing her hand on Noa’s knee.

Noa ran her fingers over the book. The black leather was cracked, but still shiny. The box contained a few other occult assortments - a crescent-moon pendant, a handful of small crystals, a handmade pendulum. Nothing unusual.

At last, she dared open the book. The pages were made of a thick greyish parchment, and were filled with runic shapes, squares and diamonds and dots. Only a quick glance through it confirmed that it was not written in any language she knew, and likely not any language of this earth. 

“How could she read this?” Noa mumbled, but Danika only shook her head.

“I don’t know. This book’s always troubled me. That’s why I kept it so long. But I never got the chance to ask her about it…” Danika’s voice trailed off and Noa realized she was still trying not to cry.

Noa could only feel confused. 

“I need to talk to Vessel.”

__________

They drove around town with Noa’s mind in a fog. Danika packed a bag, and they stopped back at Noa’s place for her to do the same, making sure to pack some clothes that actually fit her. 

The temperature had warmed slightly, the sun out and shining, but it did nothing to lift her spirits. There were too many unanswered questions, questions that would not be answered until she spoke with Vessel. So she raced to John’s house, driving so fast her truck wobbled dangerously.

Noa and Danika were greeted by lively chatter emanating from John’s living room. Everyone was gathered around the tree, a strong fire going in the hearth. Home Alone was on TV, which seemed to have sparked an animated discussion as to which items around John’s living room could be used to stop an intruder. 

They all looked so happy, like a big family gathered for the holidays. Her chest ached. 

Gus, who had been curled happily at Vessel’s feet, jumped up when he saw Noa. He ran to her, covering both her and Danika with sloppy kisses. 

Noa caught III’s gaze lingering on Danika. Danika blushed next to her, focused solely on him. She barely blinked. Noa wasn’t quite sure if this was fear or embarrassment, or something else entirely, but it would have to wait. 

Vessel stood, following close after Gus and greeting her with a smile. But his expression quickly faltered, his eyes drifting to the book she held in her hands.

“W- Where did that come from?”

“I was hoping you’d tell me.” She walked to the cluster of chairs and sofas and set the book on the coffee table. Silence permeated. 

“It was my mother’s. She gave it to Danika a week before she died. Sounds like she found it in the woods.”

Vessel flipped through the pages, albeit absentmindedly, like he already knew what the pages held.

“What does it say?” she asked. 

“It is a book of prayers and songs dedicated to Sleep. Everyone on The Front has one. This one here, for example,” he pointed to a block of the runic text, “says After death, let us be swallowed whole. Let us become One with Sleep so that we may go where no one else will go.”

Noa had nothing to say. Confusion, weariness, fear, too much of everything, crowded her mind, removing her ability to speak. And yet at the same time, she felt numb. 

Danika took her hand, her fingers cool and pleasant, pulling Noa away from a freefall into panic.

“Noa.” Vessel’s voice was gentle. Too gentle. The same voice she used to tell someone it was time to put their pet down. Noa braced herself. “How did your mom die?”

She furrowed her brow. 

“She went for a hike in the woods and had a heart attack.”

“Was that… to be expected?”

“I mean, her family had a history of heart trouble and my mom never went to the doctor because she didn’t believe in Western medicine, or some crap like that. Why?”

Vessel stared at her for a long while. 

“I’m not sure that’s the whole story.”

__________

The air in John’s barn was earthy and damp. Heat lamps were set here and there, helping to keep the goats warm during the cold winter nights. They slept close together anyways, their bodies snuggled for warmth. 

Noa sat alone on a bale of hay in one of the goat pens. Shenoa, the baby she had helped birth, pranced at her feet, occasionally nibbling at the hay. She had already gotten so big, her brown coat fluffy and soft. April was obviously doing a good job caring for her. 

Noa had too much on her mind. Vessel and his friends had only generated more questions. Vessel’s suggestion that a heart attack may not have actually been the cause of her mother’s death was horrifying, but what had actually caused it, he could not say.

She had come here just to get away, try to steady her mind a bit. Being around animals always made her feel a bit better, especially when being around people became too complicated. 

The sound of footsteps reached her ears, followed by the creak of the barn door.

So much for being alone. Still, it was nice to know she now had people in her life who cared enough about her to check on her. 

She glanced up, expecting to see Vessel, or maybe Danika. Instead, she was annoyed to see II, looking just as glum as she felt. 

“Look, I don’t really want to talk right now,” she asserted. She distracted herself by running her hands through the Shenoa’s fur. The last thing she wanted to hear was another reason Vessel and his friends needed to leave.

The hay shifted as II sat down next to her.

“Danika told me you wanted my help.”

Amidst the shock of the book, Noa had forgotten all about her plan to work with II. 

“You expect me to believe you are here because you actually want to help me?” Noa couldn’t help the disdain seeping into her voice. 

“She was especially convincing,” he huffed. “For someone so small, she is rather terrifying.”

“You’re one to talk,” Noa retorted.

To her complete surprise, II broke out in a fit of laughter.

“Noa, I am many things, but terrifying is not a word I would use to describe myself.” His voice was laced with amusement. 

It was the first time he had ever used her name. Usually, he just called her human or girl.

“What do you want?” she asked, her voice still icy.

“To help you.”

“Well it’s too late,” she bit back. “I was going to ask if I could help you fix your ship. I don’t know how I could possibly do that, but I wanted to at least try to make it up to Vessel after spilling his secret.”

II was quiet for a moment. Noa continued to stare downwards, refusing to meet II’s eyes.

“Why would you want to fix the ship?” he asked. “That means Vessel could leave.”

“I know.” “Don’t you want him to stay?”

“Of course I do!” Her voice cracked with frustration. “But I’m not trying to hold him hostage! You said it yourself. He is him, and I… I am just me. You don’t belong here. For me to keep him here would be selfish.”

Another beat of silence passed.

“Once, I helped capture a creature from a planet Sleep aimed to conquer,” II said, his voice low. “It was a beautiful species – intelligent, empathetic, physically very weak, but cunning. I was only able to capture one. When I brought it back to The Front, Sleep tortured the creature for a week. She cut it open every way you could think of. Flayed it, peeling its skin away like ribbons –” He shook his head in disgust. “And she made me watch the entire time, to punish me for failing to capture the rest. I will never forget the creature’s screams. The way she mutilated it. Its death was a mercy for us both.”

Bile rose in Noa’s throat.

“Everything I did, everything I still do, I did for Vessel. He has been dedicated to Sleep for so long, and yet I think he has always been lost. I spoke to him after what you said in the church. I - I was surprised by what you revealed, but not angry. Why now? Why here?

But now I know. It is because of you. I think, for the first time, you have shown Vessel what it means to actually be loved. Simply the fact that you are willing to let him leave shows you care for him more than Sleep ever could. I think he knows that. Vessel may have left out of shame, or curiosity, or maybe even sheer boredom. But he stayed because of you.”

Butterflies churned in her stomach, the meaning of II’s words sinking in. He was accepting her and he was accepting Vessel’s choice to flee Sleep. 

“Besides,” he chuckled. “I am fairly certain III stole some of the ship’s cables. It is absurd that someone as smart as I has not fixed the ship by now.”

“Couldn’t you just take what you need from Vessel’s pod?”

“Yes, I could. But I will not.”

At last, Noa met his eyes. There was still something distant there. A mask held in place, to protect himself. She was sure the same mask was reflected in her face. 

“So you really don’t want to leave?” His lips tugged up, the barest hint of a smile.

“As long as Vessel chooses to remain here, I am content to remain as well.”

He stooped down to pet Shenoa. She nibbled curiously at his fingers, losing interest when she discovered he had nothing to feed her. II’s smile grew.

“I think there is much here I could learn to care for.” II stood, making his way toward the barn door. “Take your time, but I know Vessel will be anxious to see you. I had to swear on my life that I wasn’t coming here to yell at you some more, so make sure you vouch for me, alright? I would prefer to continue living.”

He turned, casually kicking at some stray bits of hay.

“And Noa,” he called, his hand on the door. “I promise to help you figure out what happened to your mom. I do not expect you to forgive me right away, but I think you will understand me when I say that I did it all because I love him.”

With that, he left Noa alone once more.

She wallowed in what now felt like a never ending state of confusion and overly-complicated feelings. First Danika, the book, then her mother, somehow tangled up in all of this. Now II, for so long an angry know-it-all, now treating her like an actual human being… It was too much to process. Each day felt as long as a year. And still throughout it all, the one thing she wanted kept getting pulled away from her. 

No longer. 

__________

When she returned to John’s house, all was quiet. III and IV were snuggled on the couch, III dozing on IV’s shoulder. She heard the faint murmur of conversation, John’s and II’s voices emanating from the kitchen. 

Danika was curled up in an armchair watching a Christmas episode of Friends. She gave Noa a questioning look, and Noa nodded, indicating she was okay. 

“Where is Vessel?” she asked.

“I think in the shower upstairs,” Danika replied.

“Thank you for talking to II.”

Danika smirked.

“I have no doubt he behaved himself.”

Noa smiled. “Whatever you did worked like a 

charm.”

She said her good nights, then headed upstairs. 

She was nervous, but for once it wasn’t about some nebulous sense of impending doom. She flattened down her hair, tucking a stand behind her ears.

Across the hall from the guest room where she stayed was a small bathroom. The door was wide open, no one inside, but steam lingered in the air, and a trail of water led from the bathroom to the closed door of the guest room.

Vessel was inside, sitting on the floor with his back resting against the side of the bed. He held the prayer book open on his lap, studying its pages. 

He looked up when Noa entered, and she blushed when she saw him wearing nothing but a white towel slung low around his waist. His hair was still damp, but curling slightly as it dried. He shifted his legs nervously. 

“Hey,” he said, giving her a soft smile. The sky was now dark outside, the beginnings of stars twinkling into life. He read in the low light of a bedside lamp. “How are you feeling? I hope II did not give you too much trouble.”

Noa smirked, fidgeting her bare feet across the wood floor.

“He was actually rather nice,” she opened her eyes wide in mock surprise.

Vessel chuckled. 

“He wants to help you. And so do I.”

Noa took small footsteps towards Vessel.

“I know.” 

She reached Vessel, and dropped to her knees in front of him. The space between them was palpable, a very physical barrier between her and what she wanted. She took the book out of his hand, closed it, and set it on the bedside table. Vessel’s eyes darkened.

“I have something else on my mind now. All of this,” she waved her arms around in the empty air, “has been nothing but a distraction. Keeping me from the only thing I want.”

“And what is it you want, Noa?” “You.”

She placed her hands on his shoulders, and came to straddle him. He grabbed her waist, his mouth hung open ever so slightly.

She kissed him softly on his lips, and he pulled her tight against his chest, asking for more. Instead, her kisses traveled across his cheek, his jaw, his neck. He swallowed, then hissed when she bit the tender flesh of his throat.

Her hands traveled up his chest, the necklaces he still wore tinkling as she brushed past them. She found his heartbeat and lingered, feeling the strong pulse beneath her fingertips.

Noa had read once that the whites of a human's eyes allowed humans to better track each other's emotional states as it drew more attention to the irises. Although Vessel’s eyes were nothing but black voids, Noa had no trouble seeing what lay there – desire.

His hands travelled up her waist, traipsing beneath her shirt.

“Take it off,” she said.

He growled, then grabbed the hem of her shirt and pulled it off of her. 

She kissed him again, but this time, their lips remained connected. There were no more distractions.

Now it was his turn to explore her body, his hands drifting across her chest, her stomach, her thighs. Noa was unexplored territory yet to be conquered.

He wrapped his arms tight around her, and with ease, he stood, hoisting her up with him. She squealed at the sudden movement, wrapping her legs tighter around him. He bit her lower lip in reply and she smiled, their breaths mingling.

Making his way to the bed, he set her gently down on her back.

“I have waited so long to have you to myself,” he said. His voice was low and gravelly, Noa’s belly lurching at his sheer need.

“Don’t you dare wait any longer.”

She took his hands, bringing them to the clasp of her bra. When it fell away, he pressed kisses down her chest, lingering, biting, his hands following close behind. Noa arched at his touch, her breath coming in pants. 

His kisses travelled down, down, down, until he began to undo the buttons of her jeans. She lifted her hips, his fingers hooking over layers of fabric, until she was left completely naked before him. He hummed, his enjoyment obvious in the sound of his voice, and in the growing bulge beneath the towel.

She undid the knot, freeing him. He was fully erect, ready for her, just as she was for him. 

He hoisted one of her legs to his shoulder. Starting at her toes, he placed kisses across her skin.

“I have travelled across the stars -” a kiss to her toes. “Explored countless civilizations –”  now a kiss to her calf. “Seen endless oceans, towering mountains –” a kiss to the back of her knee. 

Noa squirmed as the kisses travelled higher up her leg.

“I have seen planets colliding –” a kiss to her inner thigh. Now he looked at her, setting her leg back down so that she was spread before him. “And yet I have seen nothing as beautiful as you, Noa.”

He brought his lips to her center, and Noa gasped at the sudden, but long anticipated contact. He was warm and wet and soft, and oh – so good. He feasted on her, utterly devouring her. The burn in her belly glowed brighter, nerves igniting.

The pressure built, and she threaded her fingers through his hair. Every flick of his tongue brought her closer to her peak. He moaned into her, and the sound he made was her undoing. She came, an entire cosmos flashing across her eyes.

Vessel ate until she was finished, then he pulled her close, smiling.

“I could do that until every sun in the sky had stopped shining,” he breathed into her neck.

He hoisted her up once again, and she wrapped her legs around him, feeling him pressed into her, her core aching with need.

“Vess?” She asked, her breath coming in pants. 

“Yes,” he said, still placing kisses to her skin here and there.

She had no pretty words, only the intensity of her craving.

“Fuck me.”

He groaned, placing a kiss between her breasts as he lowered her slowly onto his cock. This feeling was like nothing she had ever experienced before – complete connection, the barriers of space and time and physical matter, made null. Here, there was only pleasure, and it filled her to the point of breaking.

The rock of his hips sparked every nerve inside her. She tipped her head back as her fingernails sank into the muscles of his shoulders, moaning with every thrust.

Vessel’s breath began to come in pants as well, and she knew he was close. She kissed him on the lips, her own orgasm on the horizon. 

He sank his teeth into her skin, the points breaking flesh, and she gasped. But it was delicious. Perhaps pleasure could coexist with pain, but this was on their own terms. 

He laid her back down on her back, never breaking their contact. Closer and closer to a culmination of every heated gaze and every frantic kiss they had shared.

“Noa,” he said, her name a prayer uttered into the night.

Her release came down like heaven.