#hand in unlovable hand i'm sorry but you deserve this

[mrcspectr]

Q: What do you call a turkey’s evil twin?

A: a Gobblegänger.

happy thanksgiving <3

...alright, c'mon, it's time to go.

[kentopedia]

౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹ REASSURANCE — nanami kento

kento comforts you when you're feeling down

contents: gn!reader, insecurities, pet names, this was written in like 30 mins so idk, 700 words, sfw

“kento?” you asked, resting your hands on your lap. from the other side of the couch, he turned, smiling softly, placing his thumbs between the pages of the book to save his spot. your head was buried in the cushion, and you stared at him, blinking slowly. “you still love me, right?”

at first, he laughed, a small little sound that left his throat. then, when your face fell further, he cut himself off immediately, eyebrows drawing together tightly. “of course, i love you, sweetheart. i love you so much. why are you asking me?”

you shrugged, embarrassed, and looked away from him, at your hands locked together. “sometimes i just don’t know why. it makes more sense that you wouldn’t love me than that you do.”

a heavy frown drew on kento’s face, and inched closer, reaching out. “what do you mean? did i do something that made you feel unloved? if i did, honey, i’m sorry—”

which only served to make you feel worse, because, most things weren’t ever kento’s fault. he was so patient and caring, the sweetest man you’d ever known. and you weren’t sure that you deserved that kind of love at all.

“of course not, kento, you’re perfect.”

he smiled a bit, then, but that didn’t erase the concern in his eyes. “i’m certainly anything but perfect.” his fingertips ran along the back of your own, softly. “tell me what’s wrong, my love. i don’t like seeing you upset.”

you sniffed, willing the tears away as you looked past him once more, unable to meet his gentle eyes. “it’s stupid.”

“don’t say that. nothing you feel is ever stupid.”

and when a tear fell down your cheek at the kind words, you wiped it away before kento could see it, scrubbing violently at your skin.

“i’m fine, kento.”

“you’re not.” he paused, softened his voice. “it’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it. i won’t make you. but don’t keep it all bottled up just because you think you’re being silly. okay?”

you glanced over, blinked, stared at the way his smile was slightly tilted. the plumpness of his lips, the gentleness of his eyes. his soft, blond hair falling over his forehead, because it was sunday night, and he hadn’t bothered to style it.

how dearly you loved him. you’d rather die than live a life without him.

a sob broke loose from you, and you covered your face with your hands, sniffling. “i’m sorry. i’m sorry.”

kento said nothing, but drew you closer, pulling you onto his lap. tears fell down your cheeks, and though you didn’t want to look at him, he drew your lips to his own, the touch barely there, before he kissed across your cheeks, your forehead.

“why are you sorry?”

“i didn’t mean to cry. i’m being so dumb. and sensitive.”

“honey,” he sighed, stroking your cheeks, eyes almost pained from the sight of you so upset. “it’s okay. don’t apologize for crying. i love you. i love you, i love you.”

you breathed deeply, trying not to cry harder, hating how difficult it was for you to accept him irrevocable affections, sometimes. “but why? why would you choose me, kento? i don’t think i’m an easy person to love. i’m so… boring, and average, and you are amazing in every way.” you squeezed his hand, still resting on your cheeks, and leaned into it.

kento stared, forehead wrinkling, before he pushed you down to his chest, holding you close. a long inhale breathed deep into his body. “you aren’t any of those things, you know? you’re so lovable. you’re beautiful, caring, intelligent. anything but boring. anything but average.” he ran his fingers up the knots of your spine. “perhaps, i was put on this earth to prove you otherwise.”

you gave him a sad little smile. “you might be working on that for a while, ken.”

"that's okay." he laughed, soft, gently, enough to shake you against his chest before he kissed the top of your head. “that’s what love is, isn’t it? i'm not going to leave when things get tough.”

[daenysx]

hi love <3

first off i wanted to say that i find myself lurking in your blog way too much than I should (i mean i have a life and i cant spend all day reading your fics, OR CAN I?) and i love how you write and hejsusjsjsj you just make my day, so i hope you’re having a wonderful day gorgeous💗

second of all, can i please request either a poly marauders or a sirius (or James whichever you think fits the story better) x fem reader where her birthday passed and just no one seemed to really care except for the boys? Some of her friends forgot and some others gave a half hearted birthday wish and she just feels sort of unloved? and just lots of hurt/comfort/cuddles/fluff hehe thanks

if u cant tell, im projecting🤧 my birthday was on the 9th and lets just say it was not that important of a deal for most people :)

you are the sweetest angel, my love, happy late birthday!! i'm really sorry, you deserved the best birthday and i hope you can accept this little fic as your birthday gift!! ♡

it's my first time writing for poly!marauders, please share your thoughts with me!!

poly!marauders x fem!reader, fluff + a little hurt/comfort

your cheeks ache from giving smiles to your boys all day.

it wasn't an eventful birthday for you, but it was so so nice. you woke up to kisses from james, his whispers of sweet nothings as remus came back to your side from kitchen. sirius's hair was wet from the shower he took as he does every morning, you and james watched how remus took care of his curls from bed. you spent more than an hour just staying in bed, feeling more loved than ever with their words and kisses.

when remus finally convinced you to leave the bed, james offered to carry you in his arms all the way to kitchen. "anything for my birthday girl." he said, your lovely boy. sirius kissed your lips as he handed you a cup of coffee, pancakes and fruits were just like you enjoy. a perfect birthday breakfast, you laughed at every joke sirius made, accepted every forehead kiss from james. remus was giving you heart eyes, you blushed from the attention you got. he gave you an easy smile and you blew him a kiss.

the boys had plenty of offers for your birthday celebration but you decided to stay at home. you wanted a quiet day with them, just being lazy and careless. thinking about wishes and dreams about your new age. you liked how easy it was to do as you wanted with them, no explanations or excuses needed.

you could hear the whispers coming from kitchen when james got you comfy on his chest, cuddling on the couch. he kissed your hair, your arms tightened around his body. legs tangled, fingers curled up on his shirt.

you checked your phone, the screen was bright, showing there's a birthday message from lily. you smiled, replied her long text. there were other texts from a few of your friends. well, technically they were birthday messages but- none of them felt like they actually wished you the happiest birthday. why would people text like celebrating someone's birthday is a chore? you frowned, couldn't accept the fact that you were in fact, waiting for something better. didn't you deserve it?

james noticed how your smile fell, he could see the texts on the screen. "happy birthday, love u." that girl was supposed to be one of your closest friends. you really were expecting something more- heartfelt? you always tried to make sure people you like know how much they are liked by you, texted the sweetest messages to them, cared about their birthdays more than yours. it didn't feel fair. still, you didn't want to jump into conclusions and ruin your day. you let go of your phone to wrap your arms around james.

he held you gently, kissing you again. "anything wrong?" he whispered. you shook your head. it was nothing important. he nodded, giving you a little time to collect your thoughts.

"angel." he said, "there's something here you may want to see."

you looked up, saw your boyfriends holding a birthday cake for you. it was beautiful, covered in silver colored candles. remus held the cake for you to see better as you sat up, the candles were definitely sirius's choice. you forgot about the texts, seeing them smile at you like you were the most precious thing in the whole world was making your head dizzy with affection.

you blew the candles, making a wish. james's fingers were drawing circles on your arm. you kissed your boyfriends thank you, a slow but happy tear rolled on your cheek. "come on, sweetheart, there's nothing to cry about. you're still young." sirius said, winking. his lips were curved into a playful smile.

"let's eat the cake." you said. "god, it looks so good."

"you remember remus's friend who owns a bakery? we got the cake from his shop." james said.

"who, charles?" you asked, remembering details about charles for a second. "i always see the cakes he makes on instagram, he's really good."

"first slice for the birthday girl." remus said, giving you your cake. "happy birthday, sweetheart. we love you so much."

"i love you so much." you said before taking a bite. "it's delicious. thank you."

sirius ate his own slice in three seconds. "this is better than i expected. another slice, please moony."

you kissed his chocolate covered lips fondly. hours were spent on eating cake, gossipping about sirius's workplace, drinking tea, and changing into different cuddling positions. your phone was silent, no one called. there were no other texts. it's weird, you thought. even the people who celebrated their birthdays with you didn't bother to give you a small text.

the day is almost finished, you are full with cake and sweets. james insists on doubling up the princess treatment he gives you every day and helps you with your skincare. you are sitting on bed as his fingers apply your night cream on your achy cheeks, sirius and remus brush their teeth at the bathroom after you and james leave for bed. your hand reaches to your phone. nothing.

"i think," james starts. "it's time you should tell me what's been on your mind all day."

you shrug. what can you tell? expecting birthday wishes from people feels weird. maybe they forgot. maybe they didn't care enough. should you remind them it's your birthday? no, that's stupid. is it? you don't know.

"what's upsetting my baby on her birthday?" he says. "tell me."

"there's something upsetting our baby?" sirius steps in after remus. "what happened?"

you give them a smile that says you're okay. "nothing." you start. remus's eyes find yours, worry sparks in them. "it's just- the girls and my friends from work- some of them forgot about my birthday, and other messages were a bit weird."

"i'm sorry." remus says, holding your hand. "i'm really sorry about that, angel."

"it's okay." you say. "i mean, no one has to remember."

"um, yeah, they kinda have to at some point." sirius says. "you do your best to remember things about your friends and you have every right to expect the same from them."

"i know." you say. you know, but what can you do?

james leans in to kiss your cheek. "i know it's terrible. you don't deserve it. i think- it's not your fault, yeah? you didn't do anything wrong. you deserve the best."

he says the last part silently like he's sad and it breaks your heart. they tried to make your day perfect, they don't deserve to end it sad. you don't deserve to sleep upset on your birthday. you look into james's eyes. "i already have the best." you say. "have you seen our boyfriends?"

you are being sweet on him. "have you seen yourself?" you say, pulling his face to kiss him. he smiles into the kiss. "i'm okay, really." you say.

"of course you are." sirius says. "in what world the birthday girl goes to bed upset?"

remus brushes a kiss on sirius's curls. they are lovely, sitting up in bed to comfort you the best they can. you need a bit time, you think. it's a hard thing to carry, feeling like you are not loved by some people you care about. it's not fair to the boys though. you are so incredibly loved by them and you feel it in your every breath. you can think about the others later. for now, you only need to show your love to your boys. the three people who deserve it the most.

[radiant-reid]

hii i saw this:

and i was wondering if you could write a little something about spencer and reader. maybe reader has been told all her (or their, if you want to keep it gn) life that she's too difficult to love (too complicated) and spencer just loving her sm

thank you for your time🩷

It's always quiet at Spencer's apartment. Much quieter than yours which is the result of you wanting to live in a trendy area and him being the youngest person in his apartment building by a decade. The curtain is still open so the soft glow of the city lights can filter through the windows. He's laying with his head on your lap while you play with his hair, twirling the soft chocolate curls around your fingers.

He glances down at you when you stop your sentence midway. "You seem a little lost in thought. Everything okay?"

You glance down at him, faking a smile. "Yeah, just thinking about stuff, you know?"

He nods. "You can always talk to me, you know. Even just about stuff."

"Spencer, have you ever felt like you're just... too much? Like you're too complicated, and it's hard for anyone to really love you?" You try to explain the complicated feelings filling up your brain to him.

He frowns in concern. "Y/n, where is this coming from? Do you think I'm too much for you?"

You quickly shake your head, realizing how your comment came across. "No, I, uh, meant about me. It's just something that's been on my mind lately. I tend to overthink things, and I worry that my quirks and complexities might be too overwhelming for you to handle. I'm not really, you know, loveable."

Spencer sits up immediately, concern filling his features. "Y/n, you can't seriously think that. In no way are you too complicated. You're intricate, fascinating, and endlessly intriguing. I love learning, and I've learned a lot about a lot of things but my favorite thing to learn about is you."

You feel yourself tear up at his words. "Spence..."

He reaches out for your hands, holding them in his as he continues. "And as for being unlovable, that's simply not true. Loving you is..." He's speechless for a moment. "It's like plants photosynthesizing but you're the sunshine and water and I'm the plant." You're crying at his simile and the sincerity with which he says it. "Sorry, that was weird. I just meant it's natural."

"No, no. It was beautiful." He wipes up your tears too and you feel clean. "Thank you."

He cups your face in his hands, his gaze unwavering. "You deserve to be loved, Y/n, just as you are."

"You love me like that." You say softly. It hits you that he loves you for everything, and you hadn't realized your brain had convinced you that he didn't fully love you.

"I do." He confirms. "It's impossible not to."

[heartshapedcigaretteburns]

Ex!Gaz who's still in love with you:/

(Look at my handsome boy💞)

Ex bf! Gaz who never wanted the relationship to end in the first place but you just couldn't handle how little time you got to spend together. He fought tooth and nail to try and make you stay but it wasn't enough. When that doesn't work he tries convincing you to stay friends but you know deep down that wouldn't work out so you reject the idea. 

Ex bf! Gaz who low-key stalks you. I mean is it really stalking if he means well? He just wants to ensure you're doing okay so he keeps tabs on you. Initially, he maintains his distance by checking your social media, but gradually, he starts appearing in the places you frequent, coincidentally running into you at the grocery store or gym more often than usual.

Ex bf! Gaz who worms his way back into your life subtly. Getting more involved with your mutual friends so that they invite him along to outings he knows you'll be at. In every group setting he manages to stay at your side despite how hard you try to get rid of him.

Ex bf! Gaz who is ecstatic when you warm up to the idea of remaining friends but he doesn't stop there. He's desperate to make you see that you're meant to be with him. He firmly believes that he was destined to marry you and grow old with you and he just doesn't understand why you can't accept that. In his eyes, you are his fate, his ultimate destiny.

Ex bf! Gaz who can't cope when you start going on dates with other people. Nobody else is deserving of you. You're meant to be going on dates with him, holding his hand, smiling at him. In his mind, no one else can treat you the way he can.  Sooooo naturally he resorts to sabotaging your love life. He'll find a way to make every new potential partner suddenly change their mind about dating you. And when you get stood up for the third time, he's there to hold you and comfort you, offering solace. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You were convinced that this new guy actually felt something for you. Things were going great - you had been on a few dates and really hit it off. It wasn't anything like what you and Kyle had but it was a step in the right direction. 

However, everything changed when he stood you up at the restaurant, leaving you waiting for 40 minutes without responding to your numerous texts. Finally, he replies, but the message crushes you.

"Sorry, I'm not coming tonight. I don't think this is going to work out."

Your entire body crumbles inward and you shrink into the booth as you process those words. You desperately tried to text back and ask what went wrong, but he had already blocked you. What a dick.

You apologize to the staff for the inconvenience, collect your belongings, and start walking home. As you left the fancy establishment, hot tears streamed down your face. It didn't take long for a familiar car to slow down beside you. 

“Why are you walking alone so late, love? C’mon, hop in.” Kyle spoke with a caring tone that both comforted and hurt you.

As much as you wish he wasn't so comforting, you find solace in his presence. You felt disappointed, frustrated, humiliated, and above all, unlovable. It's only natural you fall into his reassuring company.

You allow yourself to get into his car and let him drive you home while you sob pathetically and pour your little heart out. You're not even certain he can understand you with the intense blubbering you're doing but he can, he always can. He listens to you vent to him, gently rubbing your exposed thigh until you get it all out.

“God am I just not desirable enough? It seems like nobody wants me." You cried softly, your voice hoarse. 

He pulls into the driveway of what used to be your shared house.

“You're incredibly desirable, lovie. Anyone would be lucky to have you, he's just an idiot. He doesn't deserve you anyways." Kyle reassures you as he guides you inside to show you just how desirable you truly are. 

Okay this idea I've been toying with in my brain a lot lately and I think I executed it pretty well but let me know what you guys think. Hope you enjoyed! Ignore spelling and grammar errors though 😽😽😽

[stmnn]

would you ever be open to someone getting a piece of your art tattooed? i just fell in love with your juubito/obito cutout art!

woah woah..I have nothing against it..on the contrary, I am very pleased!! Only..if you do, be sure to make a photo report, I'm very interested!

drawing Obito (more kakashi at this point…but Obito's clothes took 80% more time, so!!! and I also want to do the same art from his side later) until my hand falls off, day 10!!!! big numbers more sketchy, Because I'm getting ready for tomorrow's class😴 and..just so you know…full art takes from 3 to 4 days(I have the opportunity to draw only from noon) , so in between I draw small pieces to post from time to time and continue the challenge :^) and I'm sorry, I like to draw this bloody ahh mess whenever there is an opportunity

would you believe me if I said that I wanted to draw something more cute

A funny fact. at first, I treated Kakashi as a deliberately unloved character, because I have a strange opinion that a popular character does not suit me, or I just get bored of hearing about him in every corner of the fandom! but as I started watching, my heart completely melted. How can you not love him? the way he treats everyone, his team, his teammates, even despite what he's been through. His smile is heartbreaking, especially when it follows a tragic event.He deserves ALL the love he gets. I denied it for a long time, but he is my second favorite character. After Obito!! of course. + you can consider this a spoiler but… I was looking for references and caught a seizure. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE HELLO?? i am dead

ty for almost 130 followers <3

[worldofkuro]

So, you do headcanons imagines, stuff like that... Yeah? Can you do one of Alastor, Blitz & maybe Lucifer where someone they care for (S/O or daughter) who has borderline is having a emotional breakdown? Or a splitting episode? I have borderline & I'm not having a good day...

I’m sorry I answered it so late, my dear. I won’t lie, I don’t really do other characters than Alastor, because I think I handle his persona quite well ( I won’t sugarcoat him,dear. So his scenarios can be…rough.). I had to do more research on Lucifer and Blitzø. I hope it will still be good for you.

Alastor: 

Alastor would pity you. How weak of you to be controlled by your emotions, be stronger he doesn’t someone  weak.

He would watch you as you broke down, grinning while spinning his microphone. Your tears were a beautiful spectacle but he was getting tired of it, he needed you to do an errand for him and he was busy being annoyed by you, so you had to go.

He would tap your head, asking for your attention in a silent way. He always hated when you were more concerned about yourself than him. How narcissistic could you be!

When you looked at him, he would smile at you like usual, telling you were making a show of yourself. He couldn’t have that right? He was the star in this hotel !

He would easily calm you down… Well, it’s not calming you down. He would use words that would stun you so hard you would freeze. He would use your insecurities against you to make you feel even more bad than you were feeling but then he would say how amazing he is to keep you by his side even when you were in that state.

You wouldn’t want him to get bored of you, right? So you should cheer up, and give him a big smile! 

In your weakened mind, Alastor’s words sounded like comforting words while it was only condescending manipulation.

In the end, you would go do your errand as Alastor waved you goodbye with a mocking smile.

You were so easy.

“ And don’t forget dear, you are never fully dressed without a smile!”

Blitzø:

Shit, shit shit shit shit !

He would be so lost! He didn’t know how to handle those kinds of emotions, that’s why he ran away from them. He was hesitating between screaming at you to stop being a pussy and hug you.

But it was you… And seeing you in that state really..moved something in him.

He always despited himself, he always pushed away people’s care for him because he knew he would lose their love soon enough. He knew it, he was unlovable. He wasn’t deserving of people caring for him. That he knew.

But when he heard you say those words, the same he thought about himself… He despite it.

He would put you on his knees, his tail wrapping around your ankle and wait for you to calm down. He really was clueless, the only thing he wanted was for you to feel him even when you were lost in this storm of emotion.

Once you began to come back to your senses, he would ask you why you were feeling like that. That might sound stupid, but if you managed to talk about how you were feeling it would help him understand himself better.

He would hug you stronger as you kept stalking. He was just a useless imp… But you didn’t have the right to feel like this, you were better, you were… out of reach. And yet you broke down in his arms.

He would find a solution in sex, I won’t lie. It’s something, bad or good, he used to ground himself, so he might ask if you were in the mood. Maybe that way, you would be able to see how much he cared without him saying it.

“ We’re fine.”

Lucifer:

He would run toward you, maybe crashing against his pile of ducks. He would approach his hand toward your shoulder before taking them back. Did you want to be touched?

Between Alastor, Blitoø and Lucifer, he was the one more capable to understand what you were going through. Sometimes he would feel overweight by the hotness of Hell, wishing for nothing more than to feel the cold air of heaven between his wings.

He knew how feelings could be stronger than oneself, so he would kneeled at your side, and enveloping you in his wings.

He would have his back turned on you and his wings would cover you, making you feel safe, like you were cut from the world you were living in.

Lucifer would sing you a lullaby, a song that he used to sing to Charlie when she was a baby. He would stop when you form would have stopped shaking and you whimper quieted down.

He would turn his head toward you, waiting for you to speak first. If you decided to stay silent, not asking him to sing again, you would stay in a comfortable silence.

He would sometimes wiggle his wings if you touched his feather, wishing to hear your laughter. That’s the least he could do.

He would feel at fault for your conditions, were you like this because you were a sinner? Because he decided to give free will to humans, you had to suffer like this? Your episode would sometimes trigger his own mood drop.

That’s why, when you both were feeling down or you could feel an episode coming and you needed each other, Lucifer would wrap you in his wings, his back turned on you and you would stroke his father from your fingertips.

This was your way of saying, for the both of you.

“ I’m here.”

[doumadono]

Hiii I’m so sorry if this is bad timing but I have a bit of an emergency request? :’)

So my homelife isn’t the greatest at the moment, and I was wondering what Deku would do with a s/o with a poor homelife? Just to, you know, daydream about hehe.

If it’s bad timing don’t mind this at all!! But if it isn’t I’d really appreciate it :)

Thank youuu!! (Have an amazing day<3)

Moments of happiness - Izuku Midoriya x gn!Reader

A/N: I'm sorry to hear that things are tough at home right now. Remember, tough times don't last forever. Hang in there, and take care of yourself

EMERGENCY REQS MASTERLIST - PART 2

Izuku Midoriya had always been a pillar of support and strength for those he cared about. When he discovered the hardships his s/o was facing at home, his heart ached with an intensity he had never felt before. He knew he had to do something, anything, to alleviate their suffering.

It all started one evening when Izuku noticed the weariness in their eyes, a sadness that no amount of smiles could hide. He waited patiently until they were alone, then gently took their hands in his. "Y/N, is everything okay?" Izuku asked, his voice soft yet filled with concern.

They hesitated, but the warmth in his emerald eyes gave them the courage to open up. They shared their troubles, the arguments, the stress, the feeling of being unloved and unwanted in their own home. 

Izuku listened intently, his heart breaking with each word. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?" he asked, pulling them into a tight hug. "You don’t have to go through this alone. I'm here for you, always."

Izuku spent the next few days thinking about how he could help. He knew he couldn't just swoop in and change their home situation, but he could provide a safe haven, a place where they could feel loved and supported.

After a particularly rough day for his s/o, Izuku decided to take action. He called them over to his apartment, which was a modest place but filled with warmth and comfort. As they arrived, he greeted them with a reassuring smile and a tight hug. "I've been thinking," Izuku began, leading them to the cozy living room. "I know I can't change everything happening at home, but I want you to have a place where you can escape, even if just for a little while."

Their eyes widened in surprise and gratitude. "Izuku, you didn’t have to…"

He nodded, blushing slightly. "You deserve to feel safe and happy, Y/N. Come on, let's get comfortable."

They settled on the couch, and Izuku handed them a cup of hot cocoa, his eyes never leaving their face. He wanted to ensure they felt the love and care they deserved. 

They spent the evening watching their favorite movies, wrapped in each other's arms, laughter and joy filling the room.

As the night wore on, Izuku gently broached the subject of their home life again. "Y/N, I know it's tough right now, but I want you to know that no matter what happens, you always have me. If you ever need to talk, to vent, or even just a place to stay, my door is always open."

Tears welled up in their eyes, but this time, they were tears of relief and gratitude. "I don't know what I'd do without you. Thank you."

He wiped their tears away, pressing a gentle kiss to their forehead. "You don't have to thank me. I love you, and I'll always be here for you, no matter what."

In the following days and weeks, Izuku made sure to check in on them regularly, offering his support and comfort whenever they needed it. He helped them find small moments of happiness, whether it was through a shared hobby, a walk in the park, or simply sitting together in comfortable silence.

With Izuku by their side, his s/o found a renewed sense of hope and strength. They knew that with his unwavering support and love, they could endure any hardship and come out stronger on the other side. 

And for Izuku, seeing the light return to their eyes was the greatest reward he could ever ask for.

[kimbap-r0ll]

hii, could I request overblot gang having a nightmare about their s/o? ( a lot of angst please)

Hi, thank you for the ask! Sorry this took so long to answer, I've just been through a twst burnout ;—; hope you enjoy! (also I play NA twst so I'm sadly not going to go up to Idia for now)

Overblot gang has nightmares about their s/o

Riddle

He has nightmares more often than he would like to admit. He gets nightmares about his strict childhood from time to time (usually tied with fear of failure) but he now has nightmares about you

Those nightmares usually have to do with him lashing out at you when he didn't mean to, or maybe you found him unlovable after being with him for some time. In this nightmare specifically, you were crying and calling him a monster for his harsh nature, you moved away from him when he tried to hold you. He knew that he wasn't perfect, he wanted to be but...

"Hey, hey Riddle!" A voice woke him up with a shake, he had fallen asleep on the desk he was borrowing at your place in Ramshackle. Turns out you walked into the room to finally go to bed when you found him shaking slightly, mumbling something, and almost slipping off of the chair.

Riddle looked at you with wide eyes, they almost looked wild to you with how fast his eyes darted from your face, your whole body, and then back to focusing on your eyes. It was like he was making sure you weren't hurt or that you were still there. He bolted up from his chair and grabbed your shoulders. Then, he sighed, shaky but he seemed like he was trying to calm down.

"I...I thought I hurt you..." Riddle mumbled, he slinked back onto the chair, closing his eyes like he was trying to hold back some tears. "Riddle..." you stroke his hair softly. "I know you would never do that, did you have a nightmare?" Riddle only nodded slowly at your comment. "Why don't we get you something warm to drink, we can talk about it if you want?" You suggest, and he looks at you with teary eyes but with a soft smile nonetheless. "Yeah, that would be nice."

Leona

He sleeps often but he doesn't actually get dreams. It's like he just powers down and then wakes up. However, there are moments when he does get bad dreams, specifically linked to how he feels like he's not significant or nightmares related to his unique magic

The nightmares he has about you happen to be related to these things as well. He got a nightmare once while you two were napping. In that nightmare, you two had gotten into a fairly bad argument, and while Leona is usually cool-headed this time he wasn't able to contain it and ended up grabbing you by the neck and summoning his unique magic. He saw your eyes go wide, he heard a choked cry from you before parts of you started to become sand.

Leona woke up on his own, a startled little gasp escaping his mouth and his eyes opening wide. He was lying on his bed, you were still asleep right next to him, curled up. He slowly moved his position to check if your neck was harmed at all. Sure, it was a nightmare, but he was still worried it wasn't.

From what he could see, you looked fine and you had such a peaceful look. Sighing, Leona pulled you closer to him, a tail wrapping around your leg. You would never see him this soft, he was too shy for that. During this time, he thought about how lucky he was to have you, how lucky he was to have met you. In some corner of his mind, he told himself you deserve better than some second-class prince.

"What would I do without you," Leona mumbled, sleepily brushing your cheek with the back of his hand. He wouldn't have an issue falling back asleep, but this time, he made sure to hold you closely to him.

Azul

He has nightmares often like Riddle, stemming from his childhood full of bullying but also his perfectionist complex. He wants to be the best thing in your life, but he knew that you were the best thing that happened to him. If anything, he was worried that you would lose interest in him or that you deserved better.

He actually has a lot of nightmares about you, mostly because he's so nervous but he just never shows it. In this case, you were shouting at him for ruining your life in some way he wasn't able to remember. You stopped talking, put your hands up and said "that's it...I'm done." With that, you turned your back, not listening to him crying and apologizing, asking what he did to set you off.

Azul probably tosses and turns while he's sleeping, so you were for sure awoken by him if you were lying next to him. He doesn't wake up that easily, so you end up shaking him and calling him multiple times before he suddenly gets up and almost knocks you over. He lets out a gasp and looks at you with wild eyes.

"Oh...oh Great Seven," Azul sighs when he sees you looking at him with a worried look. He didn't want to look weak in front of you, he wanted to look perfect. But he had his insecurities, and at this moment he felt overwhelmed by emotions. Tears welled up his eyes, remembering the words you said in the nightmare and then having to face you watching him cry.

"It's okay, I'm here, I'm not leaving you," you tell him with a soft voice, hugging him. Azul tried his best to keep the sobs from breaking through, but he couldn't. He hugged you tightly, almost like he was afraid you would turn into bubbles. You wouldn't know about the nightmare because he never wants to talk about things like that, but you can tell he was scared you were gone

Jamil

He surprisingly suffers from a few nightmares like each month. Sometimes they aren't anything too concerning (ie large cockroaches) but from time to time, especially when he's feeling stressed, the dreams will get a bit worse.

The time he had a nightmare related to you was regarding his nature before you and Jamil really became friends and then, soon enough, in love. He likes the more sneaky, calculating side of him but from time to time he worries he's not taking care of you or the ones he cares about. In this dream specifically, he had hurt you, overwhelmed by his own work he lashed out at you. You were hit with some magic, one that just sent you flying and then into a bookshelf.

While the dream itself wasn't extremely horrifying, just the thought of how you would mistrust him all over again sent him spiraling. He woke up abruptly, no gasp just a quick jolt and then he looked around. You were still sleeping on the desk, tired from studying all night.

He walks over quietly, looking at your peaceful face and stroking your cheek with his hand. You looked so peaceful, he wondered what kind of dream you were having. "You're so cute," he muttered, thinking no one would hear him. But he was so wrong, you woke up almost instantly after he said that, almost like you knew he was standing there.

"Did something...*yawn* happen? What's up?" you looked at him with tired eyes, still sleepy. He almost jumped back because he hadn't expected you to get up and omg what if you heard him mumbling?! Blushing, he looks away and says he was just checking on you. "I should check on you more, you need to rest," you told him. Ah, there it was again. You were just too kind to him, it made his heart hurt. You didn't deserve someone who was willing to hurt his own friends for his own gain. But here you were.

Vil

He sleeps well, but he has days where he just skips sleeping because of his work. He lives on caffeine even if he says that it's not good for his skin. Vil doesn't dream, but from time to time he does, and they tend to scare him really bad.

The one he had about you occurred one night when he was particularly tired. The dream involved his unique magic, him placing an irremovable curse on you to get hurt and then pass out, not to wake up again. In the last moments of your consciousness, he watched you reach out to him, horror in your eyes as you tried to call out. You looked like you were in pain, but at the same time your eyes looked at him with such kindness, like you wanted to tell him you knew it was a mistake. Vil couldn't forgive himself, he wanted to curse himself as he wasn't able to save you.

Then he woke up. Cold sweat all over his body, his pillows tossed all around. He placed a hand on his chest as he tried to calm his breathing. Vil shook his head, knowing it was a nightmare but it felt too real to him. He wondered if he should give you a text, just to ask how you were doing. But no, he didn't want to bother you late into the night, or more or less he was worried he was bothering you.

The next day, you see him and he looks almost relieved to see you in class. "What's up?" you ask him, trying to make him a bit more relaxed. He gave you a quick "oh nothing, just the usual" before flashing a beautiful smile in your direction. You could read him though, something was on his mind. You decide to ask him about it in the night when you decide to study at his place.

Vil has a hard time being vulnerable around you, even when you remind him all the time of how it's okay. He starts off slow, saying he hurt you in the nightmare. "Oh Vil," you gave him a hug. "I know you wouldn't hurt me, don't stress about it. Thanks for telling me though, do you want to grab some tea with me?" you lighten up the mood a bit. Vil nods, he's so happy you're there to make him feel better, but he can't shake off that feeling that he may hurt you. But for now, he tells himself it's just a nightmare, nothing in reality

Idia

He doesn't sleep often nor does he really dream. But he does have nightmares whenever he does get a dream, specifically of Ortho. But when he got attached to you, the nightmares had a new person involved — you

The dream involved you having to fight an overblot in the school. However, you weren't able to stop it in time, causing you to get a fatal wound. He tried to stop it, but he wasn't fast enough. He had to watch you in your final moments as the overblot took you down before turning its attention to Ortho and Idia

Idia woke up with a yelp, almost knocking you over in the process. You were checking on him because he looked restless while sleeping. You had been sleeping at his place for the night because you were busy studying for an exam, but you didn't expect to see him have a nightmare

"omg I'm so sorry for waking you up, are you ok?" you ask him while he's trying to catch his breath. Idia shakes his head and tries to tell you it's nothing to worry about. "I-I'm fine, really," he smiles at you. While you know it's definitely not the case, you decide to not push it. Instead, you try to calm him down by sitting close to him and wrapping an arm around his shoulder

While on most cases Idia would hate any form of physical affection from anyone, it was different when it was you. He felt touch-starved, he wanted to have you close to him. Idia was just too scared to ask, and at this moment he was glad to have you close to him. It helped him forget about the horrible screams from the overblot and the whole nightmare.

You may never find out about the nightmare because he tends to get worried about you worrying about him. He knows he can be vulnerable with you, but he's still scared you may lose interest. Just remind him that it's okay, if anything you won't be going anywhere without him.

[ahimhere]

Time for You

genre: fluff, slight angst

paring: idol!Hongjoongxreader

au/summary: You missed your boyfriend so you pay him a visit

warning: mentions of feeling unloved and not wanted, mentions of cheating, alcohol mention

rating: 18+

wc: 619

“I always have time for you.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's been two weeks. He's been home for two weeks. You know your boyfriend was - is - busy. You knew that. From the various shows and performances, to practice and him living in his studio, you knew you weren't going to see him often.

But two weeks?

A few messages have been exchanged, but no real conversation, no meaningful conversation and you missed him. He knows you did, you tell him everyday.

'Does he not miss me?' Your mind wandered, spiraled with thoughts. He forgot about you. Or maybe he didn't love you anymore. Why would he, he's just going to keep getting famous and forget about you, right?

No. You couldn't allow this. You shouldn't think like that, not about him.

Sliding off your couch you turned off the tv and grabbed your coat, phone and wallet. You were going to see him and tell him to his face. You left your apartment and headed down to your local 7/11. After grabbing a few beers and a couple snacks, you headed towards his studio.

You arrived 20 minutes later, walking up to the studio door, knocking on the door. The soundproofing of the room didn't help, was he not here? You grabbed the knob to check and felt the rattle of a locked door, he was here alright.

You pulled out your phone and sent Hongjoong a text. Not even a second later the door swung open.

"My love, what are you doing here? Come in, come in." He grabbed your hand, took the bag from it and pulled you inside. After leading you to the spare chair and setting the bag on the desk, Hongjoong closed the door and sat down next to you.

"What brings you here?" He asked, excited to see you, but confused by your presence.

You scanned the room and realized that he's practically been living here. Honesty, him cheating would've felt better. At least it was an excuse. Your feelings aroused quickly as you begin to cry.

Hongjoong quickly got up and grabbed some tissue. He knelt down in front of you and grabbed your hands. "My love what's wrong? Why are you crying?"

"Because-" You choked out, trying to keep your composure. "You've been back for two weeks and have seen me. I've missed you so much, but you didn't. You don't love me anymore. You-"

Hongjoong pulled you into his arms, cutting you off,and rubbed your back. "I am so sorry, y/n. I didn't mean to leave you alone for so long. I meant to visit, but then a song came and- I'm sorry. I do love you, I still do, that hasn't changed."

"I've missed you so much Joong. You're not gonna have time for me anymore. You're just going to become more famous and-"

"I always have time for you. I will ALWAYS have time for you my love." He took your face into his hands and wiped your tears from your check. "Should I dedicate a day to you?"

You nodded your head but started to shake your head no. "You don't have to, you're busy enough." It was too late, he grabbed his phone and opened his calendar, deciding Wednesday evenings are for you, blocking it off every week.

"There, see. No matter what I'm doing that day, I'm coming to see you or inviting you over."

"But-"

"No buts. You deserve my attention, I'm giving it to you." He kissed the top of your head. "If you have to yell at me to get it, do it."

"I'm not going to yell." You laughed at his conviction, but were happy. He really did love you. "I love you Joong."

"I love you more."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AHHHH!!! I wanted to get this out before their performance tonight. IM SO PROUD OF THEM!!!

Thank you so much for reading!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Masterlist

[whumpback-wail]

05 - Divulgence

Trial by Fire (Wriothesley x Reader) - TW/CW in masterlist

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IMPORTANT NOTICE: Reminder that this fanfic contains dark and mature themes. The TW/CW are in the masterlist and are constantly updated as I add each chapter. Please reread the warnings, proceed only after you reread the warnings. If you don't like/can't handle the topics mentioned in the TW/CW, please DO NOT read. This work is 100000% fictional and any similarities to real life people and events are purely coincidental, and none of the characters (especially the villains) are real. Again, please DO NOT read if you are not certain you can handle these topics or are in a bad place mentally. Minors are strictly forbidden. I only create content, and I am not responsible for your personal content preference and moderation.

They say being pregnant means everyday is another day closer to meeting the love of your life. One anticipates meeting the fruit of their love with their spouse, looking forward to the bright sunshine days of taking care of that precious someone.

(y/n) did not understand that feeling. In fact she felt the exact opposite, as she slid down the walls of the bathroom, legs too weak to support her own weight. The pregnancy stick in her hand fell to the floor, bouncing to a stop face up, showing the positive sign. Why does this happen to her? What did she ever do to deserve this?

She has to call nurse Komaki, she will know what to do. The thing was still a cell after all, with no soul not consciousness, it should be perfectly fine. It would be so much more cruel to keep the innocent being and let it be born, only for them to later be neglected and unloved. No child deserves that. Not even one born from being forced into her womb by the person she despised the most.

It was nearing lunch, and she knew her fiancé would be back by then, he always makes time to have lunch with her. She has to tell nurse Komaki fast.

(y/n) took several deep breaths to calm herself, and then slowly got up to her bed again, pressing the call button.

A few moments later, she heard the door open.

"Nurse Komaki, I-" (y/n) turned her head, and came face to face with a different nurse altogether. It was not Komaki.

"I'm sorry, nurse Komaki is away right now, her shift will start later tonight. Is there anything I can help you with, miss (y/n)?"

(y/n) blinked back her tears, "n-no. It's okay, nothing too serious."

The nurse stood there, contemplating. "Are you sure miss?"

(y/n) nodded, racking her brain to think of an excuse or anything to justify calling a nurse to her room for nothing. "oh umm… may I have some water please?"

"Sure. It will be delivered here in a moment. Don't hesitate to call me if there's anything else that you need, okay?"

(y/n) hummed and thanked her. She watched as the nurse exit her room. She wanted Komaki, she's the only nurse (y/n) trusted at this moment, especially with something like this.

It wasn't long until the water is delivered to her room, which arrived at about the same time as Wriothesley.

He greeted her with a smile. It normally made her feel safe and loved, but right now, (y/n)'s heart sank to her stomach

"Hey, how's my sunshine doing?"

He leaned in and gave her a quick peck on the forehead. Wriothesley knew he should be careful around her, as her therapist had suggested to him, at least until she is less jumpy and can initiate affectionate gestures more. So far she's taking his affections very well, which made him happy about her progress.

"As usual," (y/n) forced a smile, briefly looking into his eyes before quickly averting her gaze back to her hands. She picked at a loose string on her blanket. 

Speak more, he will notice something is off.

"The healers were a great help to my physical injuries. But they kept stopping after a little while, saying I should rest up because the sped up healing is also draining my energy."

Wriothesley nodded, "I was told, yeah. How's your stomach? Got anything you're craving to eat?"

(y/n) froze. "What?" She managed to not stammer, but her voice cracked as her heart was suddenly frozen with fear. Did he find out? How did he know-

"Just wondering how your stomach felt." Wriothesley tilted his head, confused. It was a small quirk she had found endearing.

"The doctors did say you can only eat soft food for a while to avoid refeeding syndrome, but yesterday you were finally allowed to start eating bread and some fowl. Also because you threw up yesterday."

"Oh…" (y/n) felt stupid, "it's alright now, although I don't really feel like eating."

Wriothesley watched her for a moment. He has always been someone perceptive, that's how he knew who to trust and who to avoid in meropide while still serving his sentence, and that's how he could rise through the ranks and become the duke, despite his humble beginnings. At that moment, something is off about his fiancée.

“Darling are you okay?” he took her hand in his, his other hand brushing loose strands of her hair behind her ear, “I feel like you have something weighing your mind. You know you can tell me anything, right?”

For a moment, (y/n) wavered. Is it really okay to tell him about her pregnancy? She knew Wriothesley wouldn’t blame her, after all, what happened was not something she wanted, far from it. So technically it’s not her fault right? But a small nagging voice in the back of her mind telling her to just keep it to herself for now. There were too many what ifs. It’s safer to just keep quiet about it and deal with it under wraps. She’ll tell him, of course she will, but not now.

“I’m fine,” she forced herself to look into his eyes, a small smile on her lips. “Just wondering how much longer I have to stay cooped up in here.”

Lunch went well with Wriothesley, he told her about his day. He went back to the Fortress of Meropide for a while, to keep an eye on how things are going there, before coming over to her for lunch. After this he planned to proceed with investigations, and perhaps wrap things up early so he could spend more time with her after dinner.

(y/n) managed to eat a little more, despite the anxiety induced nausea, at least enough to not make her look suspicious.

Once lunch was over, Wriothesley gave her another peck on the forehead and left to continue with investigations, with promises of taking (y/n) to the gardens near the hospital once the doctors gave her the clear, and perhaps visit Navia and Neuvilette, as the two are also her friend, as much as they are to him. He wanted more than anything to stay with her the whole time she recovered, but seeing how she often flinched if he moved a little too quickly, or how her eyes often went blank as if she was not really there, he knew he had to do something about it. The therapist assigned to her told him that she may need some time to process through the trauma, and that it was natural that she would be jumpy for the time being, and would need some space too, as stifling her would also be bad for her mental wellbeing.

He already discussed all the options, and what’s best for (y/n). Once (y/n) has recovered some more physically, and once she is ready, he would take her home and nurse her back to health. He would appoint someone else as the Duke of Meropide if that was needed to get him more time off. Right now, he has something else to do.

He did not tell her that he would be going back to the facility, specifically the hidden passage they found inside her cell. Chlorinde had done a great job in capturing the man, living up to her title of champion duelist.

The entrance was so well hidden in the room, so much so that they had to get Aether to use his elemental sight to find. They had followed the hidden maze-like pathway in the room (y/n) was kept in, and it had led them to an underground base, perhaps their real base of operations. Several men were captured, including Dougier, they seem to work directly with Arderne who unfortunately was nowhere in sight. They were all taken into custody. Wriothesley tensed as he remembered their findings.

"Wriothesley you might want to see this." He turned his head towards Neuvilette who a moment ago was rummaging through papers on a desk. The Iudex now held out a file towards him, his face grim.

The Duke took the file and opened it. There were more papers, this time it contained more detailed reports of experiments done to the people. He ruffled through the pages, skimming the words for one specific name. He found it.

Experiment Clearance Form

Title: Vision Trial Variation 2

Principal Investigator: Il Dottore

Assistant: Arderne

Subject: 1102 a.k.a. (y/n)

Vision: Pyro

This form acknowledges the approval of the experiment titled "Vision Trial Variation 2" conducted by Arderne. The experiment aims to implement the theory of vision injections on humans, followed by observation to discover the effects.

The experiment poses high risks to participants. Potential risks include memory loss, increased body temperatures, seizures, and the possibility of death. Steps have been taken to mitigate these risks. Subject is physically weakened before the start to lower the chances of the body rejecting the injection, thus increasing the success rate of this experiment. On the occasion that this experiment would fail, the study will move on to Vision Trial Variation 3, and the current subject will be discarded.

Fuck.

“Did we find any traces of Arderne?” Wriothesley’s voice dropped several octaves, Neuvilette knew what this meant.

“There are none so far,” he placed a reassuring hand on Wriothesley, “But we do have Dougier now, and we are taking him and the others to custody. We can get more information out of them-”

Wriothesley shook him off and landed a harsh kick on a table to the side, immediately breaking it. He wanted to murder them all, especially that bastard Dottore. He had heard rumours of him doing crazy experiments, but to think it happened right here in Fontaine, with his fiancee? His breaths were shaky with barely controlled rage.

“Wriothesley, I understand how frustrating this is. (y/n) is also my dear friend.” Neuvilette spoke in the most soothing tone he could muster up. “Trust me, I am just as upset as you are in this, but we have to keep a level head. For (y/n)’s sake and all the victims that were forced into this.”

They were deep underground, had they been up on the surface, they would see heavy rain mixed with snow, and thunderstorms raging outside, the weather mirroring the Iudex’s inner turmoil on the entire situation.

• • •

(y/n) wondered if she was dead or dreaming the moment she saw herself on the familiar bed of her room in the facility. Dr Arderne was standing at the foot of her bed reading through the information on his clipboard, while Dougier was securing her arms and legs with restraints.

She had been too weak to resist, having been starved for days without food, the only nutrition she got was through her IV drip and glasses of suspiciously blue coloured water, which she had no choice but to drink.

"Good morning 1102, ready for the next dose? Arderne readied a syringe. It was filled with shimmery red liquid, the glow seemed to pulse the closer it gets to her.

"F-Fuck you Arderne." (y/n) managed to mumble, making Dougier snicker.

Arderne held (y/n)'s arm and injected the contents of the syringe into her. At first it felt like nothing, but gradually she could feel it start to burn, as if fire was coursing through her veins.

It wasn't long until the burning sensation started to feel unbearable. Hot white pain spreads from the point of injection to all over her body. She bit her tongue, trying not to scream, she will not give them the satisfaction of seeing her in pain. She won't-

(y/n) jolted awake, her breaths heavy and ragged and her heart was pounding in her chest. Fuck.

It was a dream. She was safe. It was just a dream.

The room she was in, despite being a hospital room, it was completely different from the facility, with flowers her friends and fiancé got for her, and the comforting weight of her big blubberbeast plushie that Wriothesley brought from their bed at home. She hugged the plush tightly and pressed her nose to its soft fur. It smelled just like Wriothesley, as he had sprayed his cologne all over it, something she often did even before… all this.

(y/n) tried to remember what her therapist had told her. 

My name is (y/n), I am at the Fontaine hospital, guarded by the Spina di Rosula, Wriothesley stays with me during the night, and stops by for lunch. I am safe, and I am recovering.

Her therapist told her that her dreams would eventually go away as her mind heals, but how long will that take?

Glancing at the clock, she noticed it was still early, too early for Wriothesley to come back from his investigation. He had left a book with her some days ago, which she picked up and started to read, trying to get her mind off things.

As she reached for the book on her night stand, suddenly (y/n) felt the familiar tingle in her hands, running all the way up her arms. It was warm and welcoming, it felt like home. A split second later, the book she was reaching for suddenly burst into flames.

• • •

Wriothesley watched Neuvilette from behind the one way glass as the latter asked Dougier more and more questions. The Iudex had presented all the evidence they found on the table. Laying it all out for Dougier as he asked question after question that Dougier only gave vague answers to, sometimes only responding with chuckles. The scum was a goner, his mind seemingly corrupted by the facility.

He wanted to be the one who personally interrogates the vile man, but Neuvilette had forbidden him from entering, for fear of what Wriothesley would do to the suspect. Still, watching from behind the glass was frustrating, he wished Neuvilette would let them do interrogations in Meropide, where it was outside Fontaine’s jurisdiction, so they could use other means to get information.

“This is going nowhere,” Wriothesley mumbled and pushed open the door leading into the interrogation room. Fuck the consequences, he’ll probably just get an earful from Neuvilette later.

At the sight of Wriothesley, Dougier’s eyes lit up in a nasty way that the Duke did not like at all. “Ah your Grace, here to play the bad cop now?”

“Seeing how you’re going nowhere with Neuvilette, I might as well do.”

Wriothesley grabbed the chair at the corner of the room and dragged it over to sit beside Neuvilette, who was glancing at Wriothesley cautiously.

“So do you feel like talking now Dougier? I thought you were a changed man after you were released.”

Dougier only scoffed, “then I had you fooled. You have no idea what kind of grudge I hold against you, Wriothesley. You ruined the community I built in Meropide.”

“Community? You call that community? You basically started a cult, and no one liked being in there.” Wriothesley scowled.

“Nevertheless,” Dougier continued, “I had my revenge. You should have heard how much (y/n) screamed when Arderne injected her vision into her.”

Wriothesley froze. He knew about what happened but hearing it from Dougier was different from reading it on the files they found.

Dougier, seeing the change in Wriothesley’s demeanour, continued. “She was a brave one, that bitch. Endured hours upon hours of our treatment, sometimes without anaesthesia. And that was after we put her in solitary confinement. We were wrong thinking we broke her spirit already, and yet she’s still fighting.”

"And you did this to all the people in the Vision Trials?" Neuvilette asked, the pen in his hand moving to take notes.

Dougier ignored him, his eyes still glued on Wriothesley's.

"How can we reverse the vision injections?" Wriothesley asked, trying to keep his breathing steady. He knew he couldn't try anything with Neuvilette around.

"You'll have to ask Arderne for that," Dougier leaned back on his chair, "but all I know is while (y/n) is still alive, she's a failure. She had her vision inside her yet it never seemed to work, not even when we prompted her."

"What do you mean prompted her?" Neuvilette asked, and this time, Dougier turned his eyes to him..

"Oh we threatened her, and when it didn't work, beat her, did whatever to make her call on her pyro element and use the vision in her. That never seemed to work."

Wriothesley and Neuvilette were tense, the former had his fists clenched so hard.

"That was when I took her to the basement, the cold weather should prompt the vision to at least keep her warm." Dougier turned to Wriothesley, a deranged look danced in his eyes as he smiled at him.

"I can see why you like 1102. She was so brave. She never once begged or called out for you even with all the beatings, that is, until I put my cock inside her-”

Suddenly Dougier was on the ground. Wriothesley had moved so fast Neuvilette barely registered him vaulting over the table and landing a fist on Dougier's face. He managed to hammer down his fists onto Dougier some more before he felt multiple hands pull him backwards off Dougier, who was unconscious in a bloodied mess.

"GET OFF ME." He yelled at the gardemeks who held him back, but Neuvilette soon stepped in front of him, blocking his view of Dougier who was being tended to by medics.

"Wriothesley," his voice was stern, "the punching can wait until after his sentence. If he is sentenced back to Meropide then it is under your jurisdiction."

Wriothesley was breathing heavily, "he… he also… Archons, (y/n)..."

"I already let you land several hits on him" Neuvilette placed a hand on his shoulder, "but we need him alive for more information on the case, and for his trials."

Wriothesley watched, seething with rage as Dougier was taken away by the medics for further treatment. He wanted the scum to suffer as much as, if not more than (y/n). How could anyone do this to her?

Neuvilette sighed and motioned for the gardemeks to release Wriothesley, "I think it's best if you go visit (y/n) for now. I think you two need to talk."

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(;;;*_*)--c<ノ°益°)ノ _:(´ཀ`」 ∠):_

A/N

…now I'm sad... why do I do this to myself :") wrote this while hugging my blåhaj because I needed that warm shorky embrace.

(Tuna says hi :D and hopes everyone is okay after reading this)

I apologize for the late update, some parts of the chapter had to be rewritten to make more sense, but in the end it became longer than I planned (and I had to cut it here and continue next chapter)

Thanks for sticking around this long, I hope the update hurt you all as much as it did for me to write :"))) please stay safe and take care, and hug your pets/plushies for me 💕

P.s. I’m not sure how to write a proper experiment clearance form TwT I hope that wasn’t too off.

Taglist: @almosteggs @quuela @tempest1art @yamanaka13-blog @arseneumbra @kimmeaahh @cottonfluffs @randomidk-123 @applejayee @keigo-hawks-takami-simp @mechanicalbeat1 @aribae14 @bforbiblio @supernerdycookietrashblrr @furblrwurblr @chifuyus-kitty @bunnibabe @the-real-fandom-person

[agentark]

trying to enjoy my silly little time traveling sci-fi show while clara and the doctor say the most devastating things to and about each other every other episode like my god

If the Doctor is still the Doctor, he will have my back.

Clara, I'm not your boyfriend. // I never thought you were. // I never said it was your mistake.

Please, just...Just see me.

Do you think I care for you so little that betraying me would make a difference?

Clara, I'm terribly sorry, but I'm exactly what you deserve.

There was one other man. But it would've never worked out. He was impossible.

When do I not see you?

Die with whoever comes after me, you do not leave me.

I don't care about your rules, or your bloody survivor's guilt. If you love me in any way, you'll come back.

Immortality isn't living forever, that's not what it feels like. Immortality is everybody else dying. She might meet someone she can't bear to lose. That happens, I believe.

I let Clara Oswald get inside my head, trust me, she doesn't leave.

Longest month of my life. // It could only have been five minutes. // I'll be the judge of time.

I will die, and no one else here or anywhere will suffer. // What about me?

Everything you're about to say, I already know. don't do it now, we've already had enough bad timing.

Don't run. Stay with me.

I was lost a long time ago, she was saving you.

If you think because she is dead I'm weak, then you understand very little. If you were any part of killing her and you're not afraid, then you understand nothing at all.

The day you lose someone isn't the worst...it's all the days they stay dead.

I'd know you anywhere.

What were you bargaining for? // What do you think? You.

If she says so.

I had a duty of care.

People like me and you, we should say things to one another.

Look how far I went, for fear of losing you.

You said "memories become stories when we forget them." Maybe some of them become songs.

hand in unlovable hand

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

I would love to see Ed get to hear that he hasn't deserved to be treated the way he has been.

He was 100% justified in killing his dad, we know this. And it's natural it traumatized him, but beyond that, it made Ed think he's a monster. That idea was only reinforced throughout his life, when he found safety in leaning into a hyper-violent persona. Life looked him in the eye and said "you're gonna be a punching bag, Eddie," and Ed realized that wouldn't happen if people were too scared of him to try.

When Izzy is apologizing to him, and Ed says it should be him who's apologizing, it always gets me, because Ed really doesn't know. Like, yeah, Izzy's dying so Ed might just be trying to make him feel better, but it sounds way too genuine. He doesn't expect Izzy to apologize to him because he hardly realizes Izzy did anything wrong. I think part of him genuinely thinks that an angry White man threatening him and screaming at him was what he deserved for daring to think he could be soft in front of people.

So badly, I want Stede to realize that Ed doesn't even know. I want him to slowly put together that Ed thinks he just deserved all this shit that happened to him, that made him hate his life and think he's unlovable. And I want Stede to hold his sweet face in his hands and say "I'm so sorry no one has told you before, but someone's got to so it might as well be me, and Ed, you deserved so much better than you got."

[bookshelfdreams]

Hiii I hope this isn't too forward, but your tags re: Ed's evolving reactions to abuse and Izzy as abuse-survivor-wish-fulfillment are incredible and it would lovely as its own post, if you felt comfortable doing so!

Aww thank you! The post in question

Also, tbf, I'm just obsessed with the rule of 3, whenever there's the slightest chance of seeing a pattern like this I'll pound on it with a sledgehammer until it fits.

Anyway. Ed has 3 abusive white men in his life; his father, Hornigold, and Izzy. And all 3 he deals with, to escalating effect.

His father is the one who exerts the most power over him. Ed clearly comes from a violent household, and as a child, he is obviously completely at his fathers non-existent mercy. He beats Ed's mother, throws dishware against the wall, and there was a deleted scene where he yelled at Ed's mother for "turning my son soft" (oh how I wish they'd kept that in. I can understand why they thought this was expendable, but it would have made the connection between Ed's father and Izzy so much more obvious).

Ed cannot protect himself, or his mother, against this violence - up until the moment that he can. The moment he realizes he is no longer weak and helpless, he retaliates in the only way that he has ever seen conflicts be resolved. He knows that he can't intimidate his father into better behaviour, if he wants to end the abuse it has to be permanent. So he just fucking kills the bastard.

This is, of course, Not Ideal. Even 30odd years later, he feels monstrous and unlovable because of this moment. The violence scars him. Not because he was wrong in killing his father, necessarily; the show doesn't judge him for it. But Ed destroyed the life he could have had when he did it, and he wounded himself.

Violent solution? Possible, but he deserved better.

Next up, Hornigold, who is also a mean, abusive bastard. He represents the avoidance solution: Leave and never look back. We do not know what became of Hornigold after Ed left his ship, but 02x03 implies that Ed expects him to still be alive somewhere. Ed clearly suffered horrific abuse at his hands, both physical and emotional, and even though that is years in the past, he clearly never dealt with any of it. Gravybasket!Hornigold tells him "Sorry doesn't rebuild an abdominal wall. You gotta move on.": Don't expect an apology, don't try to make amends, just ignore what happened. Apologies are pointless, you can never expect your abuser to change his behaviour. So just try to get away from him and ignore him.

This also doesn't really work. In the gravy basket, Ed is clearly still desperate for Hornigold's approval - and is refused, as he probably was often when he sailed with him. "You're never good enough" is one of the core mantras of abusers. Hornigold is still living in Ed's head, and heart, and soul; the poison he fed him is still alive and well within him. Ed even tries a violent solution this time, but obviously that can't work.

Still, avoidance is better than violence. Hornigold is left behind, standing on that cliff, while Ed goes back into the light. Ed doesn't have to take him with him. He cannot make Hornigold regret what he did, but he can remove himself from his clutches.

And then there's Izzy. With Izzy, Ed obviously has the most ambivalent relationship. He seems to truly like Izzy, to some extend (why is that would be another post, but as briefly as possible: I think Izzy provides an interpersonal dynamic that is familiar, and therefore, a twisted kind of safe for Ed. Chronic mistreatment will embed in you the idea that there's something wrong with you, and that's something Izzy is all too willing to point out to Ed. Crucially though, Izzy is someone who's approval is actually attainable. Ed keeps around someone who will tear him down, yes, but who it is also possible to impress, and over who he has authority. He's going back to the previous relationships, only now he is in a position of power, and that may feel like he can fix them. Obviously this isn't exactly a healthy dynamic. Izzy, for his part, clearly gets a kick out of the power and status being Blackbeard's first mate gives him, and manipulating Ed into doing what he wants. Just watch how pissed he gets when his control over Ed starts to slip.).

And there's another, crucial difference: Izzy wants to come around. Izzy is the fantasy of the toxic person who realizes how shitty his behaviour is, and who deep down, cares enough to want to fix it. Who recognizes the pain he caused, and who tells Ed the things he most needs to hear: I hurt you, and I'm sorry. You didn't deserve this. I was wrong; you're fine.

And then - and this is also an important part of the wish fullfilment fantasy! - he dies. Ed doesn't have to deal with him anymore. We remove the possibility that he goes back on his apology, or tries to use that as a wedge to carve out a space for himself in Ed's life, or goes back to manipulating Ed. No. The apology has to be the final note this relationship ends on.

And this fixes it. Ed can look back on Izzy fondly.

He was a fucking nightmare. What a guy.

[avocado-writing]

Hey, so recently my mum and sister have been calling me unlovable and unmarryable (long story, they're not dealing well with the stress of planning my sisters wedding) and even though I think they don't mean it, it's really getting to me. Please may I request Aziraphale comforting reader who is going through this type of thing too? Extra points for smut?

notes: hey anon, what the fuck? i'm your new mum now. fuck that noise, we're not here for it. hope this helps babe.

pairing: aziraphale x reader

rated: M

He can tell when you’re miserable. There will be a little clench of your jaw, a hitch in your voice, and he’ll immediately ask you what’s wrong. And that’s when you’re trying to hide it. Today there is no clever cover-up. Today you are just sad.

Aziraphale finds you staring out the window of his shop at the rainy London street. You look tired. He can see the tears in your eyes that you were clearly trying to hide by facing away, but when they begin to fall fat and heavy down your cheeks there is no pretending otherwise. The angel reaches out to pull you into him, and you grip his coat ever so tightly.

��My dear, what’s the matter?”

“Sorry. Oh god, fuck, this is so stupid. Sorry, I didn’t meant to say ‘fuck’ - ”

“Take a breath, love,” he suggests, and you do, a long, juddering one, but a breath nonetheless. The long swooping motion of his hand caressing your back helps steady you, and eventually you’re able to talk.

“My mum just said something horrible, that’s all.”

“Oh, well. I’m sure whatever she said wasn’t true, my darling.”

“She said I’m not marriageable. I’m not loveable.”

Aziraphale stills. He takes you by the biceps and gently pulls you to arm’s length, giving you a look of utter horror. There’s a long pause, and for a moment you’re worried it’s because you’ve done something wrong, but it’s because he’s trying to work out what to say. What can he say? It’s such a ridiculous thing that’s been told to you, he can’t picture someone telling you such a lie. 

“That’s…” he scrambles for something to say, but settles on simply, “not true. That’s not true at all my dear. Anyone would be very glad to be your spouse, I’m certain of it. And as for ‘unloveable’, I’ve never heard a lie more brazen.”

“Oh, come off it, Aziraphale…”

“I’m not joking,” he states, firm. You dare to look up at him through watery eyelashes and find nothing but sincerity. And then his grip on your arms turns to a gentle stroke of his thumbs, and the anger on his face melts to softness, and he whispers, “you are very much loveable, I assure you.”

A spark of something fizzes between you. Something that’s been growing for ages, actually, but neither of you have quite been brave enough to act on it. But finally Aziraphale sees his opening.

He kisses you, and you turn to jelly in his arms; his tongue sweeps across your bottom lip and you open your mouth to allow him access. You cling to him tightly, as if you’re afraid that if you don’t you’ll topple over. When you break for breath, you pull away before he can capture you again.

“Aziraphale, look, you don’t have to – you’re not obligated – “

“I’m not doing this because I feel I owe you something, my darling. I’m doing it because I’ve wanted to for a very long time now.”

You crumble.

He kisses you and kisses you and kisses you, everywhere he can reach, everywhere he has to strip to access, and he lays you down on the sofa in his office - he cannot hold himself off long enough to get to his bedroom - and makes love to you the way you deserve. Where every touch tells you how much he treasures you, each roll of his hips promising he’d never lie about how he feels.

And then, between open-mouthed kisses and gentle nips at your lovely bare skin, a litany of “I love you”s. Because, look at you. Who couldn’t?

taglist: @angiestopit@dazed-soul @@foolishprincipalitee@smile-eywa@staygoldsquatchling02@underratedboogeyman@cool-ontherun-world@emilynissangtr@cool-iguana@this--is--music @ilyatan @lxsm2@clarina04@wtfhasmy-lifecometo@mrgatotortuga@wereallbrokenangels @night-affiliate @silcosmoke@kimqueenofhell@chewbrry @bajablast23 @h3k3t@am-i-obsessed---maybe @bakerstreethound

[traffic-light-eyes]

They say love is the best medicine. Kai has never once believed that; how could love, a mere concept, help? He couldn't understand.

When he scraped his knee as a kid, did his absent mother kiss it better? No. When he burnt his hand forging a sword, did his father clean him up? No. Love is nothing but a nuisance, a petty attempt at making something out of nothing.

He knows this. He knows this, but why does he make those attempts for his little sister, Nya? Why does he have to kiss he wounds, to clean her up, to love her? Why can't he help it?

Kai all but drops everything for her. She can not turn out like him: jaded, ruinous, unloving. He won't let it happen. He'll teach her love, a concept he could never quite grasp. He'll learn it, fake it. All for her. His baby sister.

Love doesn't heal. It doesn't have magical powers that instantly cure an illness. Love doesn't heal.

When he sits alone in the bounty, stressed and upset, he has no medicine to fix it. His arms ache from the endless training he forces himself to endure; he has to get stronger for Nya. He has to. But it hurts. He finds his body isn't what all that aches.

A deep devastating ache resides in his chest. Heartache. He has no medicine for this. He can't fix this. He can't he can't he can't. He's so useless-can't save his sister; can't protect that stupid brat, Lloyd; and he certainly can't solve his own damn issues. Useless.

He feels the warmth next to him before he feels the hand on his back. He won't look. Another hand joins the first. His head is cradled against a chest, one hand holding the nape of his neck gently, the other his lower back.

He cries for the first time in a while.

It isn't fair. It isn't fair. It isn't fair.

"I know," Cole whispered, a gravelly rumble grounding him in the moment. Kai hadn't even realized he had been speaking. "I know, Kai. Just let it out. FSM knows you deserve it."

He cries. Sobs. His body jerks with each moment, breath hitching, limbs clutching onto the nearest surface.

It takes a while, but he calms down. His face stays in the crook of Cole's neck, soft puffs of air giving him goosebumps. In a normal situation, Kai would yell at Cole for touching his hair, but in this moment, Kai practical purrs at the soft, gentle carding of his recently washed hair.

When he finally gets his voice back, it crackles like a vintage radio, but he speaks. "How did you know I was here?"

"I didn't."

"Oh," Kai said dumbly, "Then why are you here?"

"Well, I wouldn't just walk away after seeing you like an abandoned puppy-dog."

Kai scoffs, removing himself from Cole's warmth. "I didn't ask for your help."

"I know."

"I didn't need it. I would've been fine."

"I'm sure you would've."

"Then why the heck did you stay?" Was he pressing too much? He shouldn't ruin a good thing. Why did he say that? Oh, fsm, he should really learn when to shut his big mouth.

"I think I told you already," Cole joked, "but I could be wrong."

Kai scoffed again. He pinched Cole's elbow with a glare.

"Yowch!" Cole jerked away, slightly laughing while rubbing his injured elbow. "Okay, okay, I yield."

Kai pushed himself further away. He doesn't know if he wants to hear this. He knows what's coming: 'Oh Kai, you just looked so sad and pathetic, and I'm such a great perfect person, so I just had to come and help you out! But since you're so weak, I'll have to talk to Sensei Wu about kicking you out. Sorry, not sorry!'

"Kai, we haven't known each other for long. Barely a month or two, really. But I've come to care for you. And that includes caring for you when you're upset like today."

Huh.

"You're part of the team now. We take care of one another. We love each other. Yes, even when Jay eats the last pancake."

Huh.

"Kai? Are you good? You haven't blinked in the past two minutes."

His body jerks, face flushing. "I'm fine, thanks."

"Alright," Cole laughs. "I'll see you soon, then. I'm gonna go grab whatever delicious food Zane is cooking up right now."

"Yeah," Kai said, "see you soon."

He leaves. Huh.

Love is stupid and useless. He doesn't remember the last time he felt it. But with the warmth of Cole's embrace lingering and his face still flushed, he can't seem to remember why that mattered.

He feels better. He used no ointment or pill, but he feels better. Love. Love was his medicine.