#hamidou anne

[rosesnink]

The Viscountess, Chapter Seven: Back to Square One

Author's Notes

Guess who's back?? Nicole Donovan is back, baby!!! After a long silence, I've been able to pull this chapter together. Buckle up, people, cause this is about to take off! Prepare the popcorn and your theories, cause this is the calm before the storm

English isn't my first language, so please forgive any typos/grammar mistakes

If you're interested in Nicole's journey, click here!!

Summary: Nicole makes a tough choice, and a call from Isabelle Sinclaire leaves her intrigued

Word Count: 1.7k

Category: Single parent AU, romcom, couple break-up

Rating: PG-13

CW: Duke Richards being his disgusting self

Pairing: Prince Hamid x F!OC, Ernesr Sinclaire x F!OC (eventually)

Book: Desire and Decorum, modern AU

Nicole thought she had accomplished everything she wanted in life.

Her daughter had a friend whom she seemed very fond of, a boyfriend that worshipped the ground she walked in, amazing friends and an enviable network.

But the moment Hamid told her about possible marriage and meeting the parents back in Turkey, she froze. They weren’t going fast at all. Their pace was perfect. But why did it feel like she didn’t want it? She should feel nervous about impressing them, not about telling Hamid the reason she didn’t want to. What was worse? She didn’t know why she didn’t.

Or even worse, that she knew deep down and was in denial.

He had done nothing wrong. He was an angel. Anne loved him dearly, even if she never said it. All her friends ‘shipped’ them. Her father was practically begging her to settle with him after punishing herself for so long. Then why didn’t she want to advance?

What else could she possibly want, especially at her age?

Finding someone else was already hard. She was thirty, fat and had a kid. And a boyfriend who worshipped the ground she walked into. Then why did it feel like it wasn’t what she wanted?

Pulling the covers out of her large body, she shook away those thoughts and quickly dressed in her usual wool cardigan and baggy trousers. Hearing Anne stirring up, she quickly went to greet her “Morning, sweetie! Do you want me to kiss you and dress you?”

Anne nodded. Nicole gladly kissed her daughter’s forehead and helped her up, going for her dressers “Remember that today’s your presentation for the planet Jupiter. Have you studied?” She nodded. She was quite groggy and silent, as every morning. It’d pass the moment she had something solid to eat.

“Now, let’s see what you can wear for today’s presentation…”

“Good morning, Roselyn. Is Isabelle awake?” Ernest got into his ex-wife’s house, for Roselyn was busy with baby Percival… and a divorce.

“No. I suppose she won’t want to see me in a while…” She frowned, clearly guilty.

He placed a hand on her shoulder “She is angry, but she is also smart. She’ll figure it out. Give her time.”

She nodded, fighting back tears. Feeling for his ex, he hugged her, and allowed her to cry on his shoulders, just like when they were eighteen and she had fought with her mother again. They stood there, in silence, until small steps and someone clearing his throat called their attention “A-hem. Not a single week after the divorce is underway and you weasel yourself into my house trying to get back with your ex-wife, Sinclaire?”

Despite his anger, he kept his voice level. He would not wake his princess with a shouting match “I did not ‘weasel’ myself into the house, Roselyn invited me. I am here for Isabelle’s sake. And I also happen to have in high regard the mother of my child, a thing you cannot say. Now, if you will excuse me…”

“Surely you’re not angry about that little incident? It was all in good fun. A man my age has needs, after all.”

He was about to turn around and punch him when Roselyn did the unthinkable. She slapped him and spit in his face, her face full of anger “You’re a disgusting little degenerate, and if you even breathe in the same room as my daughter, I will rip out your heart and eat it for breakfast. Pick up your things and fuck off before I kick you out myself.”

Picking up a crying Percival, she lifted her chin and left, leaving behind the dumbfounded men. For Ernest, it quickly changed into pride. His dear friend had at last opened her eyes.

Chuckling, he went upstairs, where Isabelle was struggling with her alarm. But the moment she spotted her father, she jumped into his arms, and he picked her up “Ready, princess?”

“Almost. Gimme five.”

He kissed her temple “Take all the time you want. If you must be late to class, I’m happy to handle it.”

Nicole and Ernest found one another in the parking lot with their daughters. As Anne squealed and walked with Isabelle, they greeted one another “How have you been holding up? With, you know…”

Nicole shrugged “Haven’t thought about it, honestly. I’ve been focusing on Anne and helping Briar with her kids. It’s not worth the effort.”

Ernest’s shoulders softened “I’m sorry, by the way. I feel like I’ve endangered everyone with that menace.”

She touched his shoulder “The only one to blame is that lecher Richards. You couldn’t have guessed what he’d do.”

He nodded gravely, and observed their daughters, giggling as they seemed to make fun of certain boys who made a fool of themselves, as any average 13-year-old would. His eyes lightened “At least some things never change.”

“She’s her first genuine friend, you know? Teachers used to pity place Anne with the kindest group so she wouldn’t be alone, but she never clicked with anyone, you know?”

He looked at her intensely “Then all my efforts to raise her well haven’t been in vain.”

She squeezed his arm “I’m glad I have you in my corner, Sinclaire.”

“Me too, Nicole.”

As Anne was in school, Nicole tapped her foot repeatedly as she waited for Hamid to drop in. When the time finally came, she greeted him as usual and ate their meals, and as Nicole revised what she’d say, Hamid took her hand and smiled gently “Is something bothering you, askim? You know you can tell me anything.”

She sighed, her shoulders sagging “What gave me away?”

He chuckled “You’re as tense as my cat Nala when she sees a pigeon, for one. That and you’re chewing on your lip, and have nervous ticks. Spotted that as soon as I entered the room.”

She sighed. Despite having dated for a few months, he knew her so well, it made it even more difficult to break up with him.

Taking a long, deep breath “Listen, I want to start by saying that being with you was amazing, and you’ve been amazing, and still are amazing, and Anne adores you. But… I just… have this feeling that this isn’t what I want. This isn’t where I’m meant to be. I want… something else.”

“Is there someone, Nicole?”

“No! No. There isn’t anyone. It’s just… I don’t think we can offer the other what we both look for.”

Hamid sat there, taking all in as he processed it. Then, he chuckled bitterly. Nicole frowned “It’s funny, actually. My mother told me once that she was engaged before my father to a friend with whom she had a whirlwind romance. Thought he was the perfect guy, then��� woke up with a gut feeling that he wasn’t the one for her. Months later, she met my dad, and it all clicked.”

She squeezed his hand “You’re not angry, then?”

He shook his head “Gutted, and a bit disappointed it didn’t work out, but no, I’m not angry.”

They stood in comfortable silence again, then looked at one another and smiled sadly “We’re good, though? Anne would hate to lose a valuable playmate.”

Hamid smiled “You’ll have to pry our adventures from my cold, dead hands.”

They laughed, and pulled in for a hug, both sad smiles on their faces “Thank you, Hamid. You were an awesome boyfriend, and an amazing friend to Anne, and I will always remember you fondly.”

He kissed her head and cradled her face in his hands, a fond look on his face “You were probably my best girlfriend. And even though we didn’t last long… I shall carry you with me as well.”

They hugged again, allowing the midday sun light the whole scenery, allowing the other to linger. Then, he kissed her forehead and picked his things “I’ll see you around?”

“Always, my friend.”

He turned around and left, looking back only once to place his hand on his chest and nod, before disappearing in the doorframe. Then, she collapsed. The breakup had gone well, and he took it like a champ, but she still felt like crap.

She pulled herself when the time for coming back to her shift came, and wiped her tears and decided to go autopilot until it was time to pick up Anne.

As Anne and her dined, she kept rambling about recess time with Isabelle “… And then, she caught the ball on one hand, threw it out of the area and told the boy that if he ever hit the girl with glasses on the face with it, she’d kick him and call the cops for bullying.”

Nicole chuckled “Good for her. I never told you this, but that punk had it coming,”

Anne gasped and pointed “Swear word!”

Nicole laughed “Bring on the jar.”

As she watched Anne run for the swear jar, her phone rang. Wondering who was calling her, she saw who called her, and, curious for why he’d call instead of text, she answered “A bit odd that you call at such sacred hour instead of a simple text, isn’t it, Ernest?”

A childish giggle made her raise her eyebrows “I’m not my father, Mrs. Donovan. I’m Isabelle!”

“Hello there, sweetie! Does your father know you have his phone?”

“He does! This is his personal phone, not his work phone. Anyways, I’m planning a weekend road trip to Bath, and we insist you come with us! You and Anne, obviously.”

“…Does your father know you’re inviting us?”

“Yep. In fact, it was mama who suggested it! What do you say?”

“Well, an impromptu road trip to Bath for Anne may be a bit—,”

“Is that Issy, mama?!” Nicole nodded “What does she say?” She quickly explained the call and, to her surprise, her face lit up “Oooooh, I’ve always wanted to go to Bath! It’s where you and Papa had your love story! And so many historical buildings and cool fairs! Can we go, please?!” She pleaded, those puppy eyes she couldn’t deny.

“Well, since I am surrounded by all fronts, I have no option but relent. Tell your father to call me and tell me all the details. You girls focus on school and preparing your luggage.”

“Yay!!” Both girls shrieked before Isabelle hung up and Anne went up her room to plan the entire event on her head.

She chuckled to herself. It looked like it’d be a very interesting road trip indeed.

[nicklloydnow]

“For the generation of Americans who came of age in the shadow of the September 11 attacks, the world America had made came with a question mark. Their formative experiences were the ones in which American power had been used for ill, in Iraq and Afghanistan. In the Middle East more broadly, and for much longer, the United States had built a security architecture around some of the world’s most repressive regimes. For those on the left, this was nothing new, and it was all too obvious. I spent my college years reading Noam Chomsky and other leftist critics of U.S. foreign policy, and they weren’t entirely wrong. On balance, the U.S. may have been a force for good, but in particular regions and at particular times, it had been anything but.

Blaming America first became all too easy. After September 11, U.S. power was as overwhelming as it was uncontested. That it was squandered on two endless wars made it convenient to focus on America’s sins, while underplaying Russia’s and China’s growing ambitions.

(…)

Russia’s unprovoked attack on a sovereign nation, in Europe no less, has put matters back in their proper framing. The question of whether the United States is a uniquely malevolent force in global politics has been resolved. In the span of a few days, skeptics of American power have gotten a taste of what a world where America grows weak and Russia grows strong looks like. Of course, there are still holdouts who insist on seeing the United States as the provocateur. In its only public statement on Ukraine, the Democratic Socialists of America condemned Russia’s invasion but also called for “the U.S. to withdraw from NATO and to end the imperialist expansionism that set the stage for this conflict.” This is an odd statement considering that Russia, rather than the United States, has been the world’s most unabashedly imperialist force for the past three decades. But many on the anti-imperialist left aren’t really anti-imperialist; they just have an instinctive aversion to American power.

America’s low opinion of its own capacity for good — and the resulting desire to retreat or disengage — hasn’t just been a preoccupation of the far left. The crisis of confidence has been pervasive, spreading to the halls of power and even President Barack Obama, whose memorable mantra was “Don’t do stupid sh*t.” Instead of thinking about what we could do, or what we could do better, Obama was more interested in a self-limiting principle. For their part, European powers — content to bask under their U.S. security umbrella — could afford to believe in fantasies of perpetual peace. Europe’s gentleness and lethargy — coaxing Germany to commit even 2% of its GDP to defense seemed impossible — became something of a joke. One popular Twitter account, @ISEUConcerned, devoted itself to mocking the European Union’s propensity to express “concern,” but do little else, whenever something bad happened.

(…)

The coming weeks, months, and years are likely to be as fascinating as they are terrifying. In a sense, we knew that a great confrontation was coming, even if we hadn’t quite envisioned its precise contours. At the start of his presidency, Joe Biden declared that the battle between democracies and autocracies would be the defining struggle of our time. This was grandiose rhetoric, but was it more than that? What does it actually mean to fight such a battle?

In any number of ways, Russia’s aggression has underscored why Biden was right and why authoritarians — and the authoritarian idea itself — are such a threat to peace and stability. Russia invaded Ukraine, a democracy, because of the recklessness and domination of one man, Vladimir Putin. The countries that have rallied most enthusiastically behind Ukraine have almost uniformly been democracies, chief among them the United States. America is lousy, disappointing, and maddeningly hypocritical in its conduct abroad, but the notion of any moral equivalence between the United States and Putin’s Russia has been rendered laughable. And if there is such a thing as a better world, then anti-imperialists may find themselves in the odd position of hoping and praying for the health and longevity of not just the West but of Western power.”

“The “rules-based world order” is a system of norms and values that describe how the world ought to work, not how it actually works. This aspirational order is rooted in the idealistic aftermath of the Second World War, when it was transcribed into a series of documents: the United Nations Charter, the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, the UN Genocide Convention, and the Geneva Conventions on the laws of war, among others. In the more than seven decades since they were written, these documents have frequently been ignored. The UN Genocide Convention did not prevent genocide in Rwanda. The Geneva Conventions did not stop the Vietnamese from torturing American prisoners of war, did not prevent Americans at Abu Ghraib from torturing Iraqi prisoners of war, and do not prevent Russians from torturing Ukrainian prisoners of war today. Signatories of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights include known violators of human rights, among them China, Cuba, Iran, and Venezuela. The UN Commission on Human Rights deteriorated into parody long ago.

Nevertheless, these documents have influenced real behavior in the real world. Soviet dissidents used to embarrass their government by pointing to human-rights language in treaties the Kremlin had signed and did not respect. Even when fighting brutal or colonial wars, countries that had signed treaties on the laws of war either tried to abide by them—avoiding civilian casualties, for example—or at least felt remorseful when they failed to do so. Americans who mistreated Iraqi prisoners of war were court-martialed, convicted, and sentenced to time in military prisons. The British still agonize over the past behavior of their soldiers in Northern Ireland, and the French over theirs in Algeria.

The Russian invasion of Ukraine and Hamas’s surprise attack on Israeli civilians are both blatant rejections of that rules-based world order, and they herald something new. Both aggressors have deployed a sophisticated, militarized, modern form of terrorism, and they do not feel apologetic or embarrassed about this at all. Terrorists, by definition, are not fighting conventional wars and do not obey the laws of war. Instead, they deliberately create fear and chaos among civilian populations. Although terrorist tactics are usually associated with small revolutionary movements or clandestine groups, terrorism is now simply part of the way Russia fights wars. Although a sovereign state and a permanent member of the UN Security Council, Russia first began deliberately hitting civilian targets in Syria in 2015, including power stations, water plants, and above all hospitals and medical facilities, 25 of which were hit in a single month in 2019. These attacks were unquestionably war crimes, and those who chose the targets knew they were war crimes. Some of the hospitals had shared their coordinates with the UN to avoid being hit. Instead, Russian and Syrian government forces may have used that information to find them.

(…)

The Hamas terrorists paid no attention to any modern laws of war, or any norms of any kind: Like the Russians, Hamas and its Iranian backers (who are also Russian allies) run nihilistic regimes whose goal is to undo whatever remains of the rules-based world order, and to put anarchy in its place. They did not hide their war crimes. Instead, they filmed them and circulated the videos online. Their goal was not to gain territory or engage an army, but rather to create misery and anger. Which they have—and not only in Israel. Hamas had to have anticipated a massive retaliation in Gaza, and indeed that retaliation has begun. As a result, hundreds if not thousands of Palestinian civilians will now be victims too.

To explain why one permanent member of the UN Security Council and one quasi-state have adopted this kind of behavior, it is best to start with the nature of their own totalitarian regimes. But there is plenty more blame to go around, because the rules-based order, always pretty tenuous, has actually been dying for a long time. Autocracies, led by China, have been seeking to undermine or remove language about human rights and the rule of law from international forums for years, replacing it with the language of “sovereignty.” Not that this is just a matter of language: The Chinese have carried out atrocities against their Uyghur minority for years, so far with impunity, and openly conducted a successful assault on the rights of the population of Hong Kong. They, and others, have also indulged in deliberately provocative behavior, designed to mock the rule of law outside their own borders. Belarus got away with forcing an Irish-owned airplane to land in Minsk and then kidnapping one of its citizens who was onboard. Russia has organized murders of its citizens in London, Washington, and Berlin.

(…)

During its lifetime, the aspirational rules-based world order and the international community that supported it were frequently mocked, and rightly so. The crocodile tears of the statesmen who expressed “profound concern” when their unenforced rules were broken were often unbearable. Their hypocrisy, as they opined on distant conflicts, was intolerable. On Saturday, Russia’s deputy defense minister parodied this kind of talk when he called for “peace” between Israel and Hamas based on “recognized agreements,” as if Russia accepted any “recognized agreements” as a basis for “peace” in Ukraine.

But like the equally outdated Pax Americana that accompanied the rules-based world order—the expectation that the U.S. plays some role in the resolution of every conflict—we might miss the Geneva Conventions when they are gone. Open brutality has again become celebrated in international conflicts, and a long time may pass before anything else replaces it.”

“The history of Armenians in Nagorno-Karabakh was ended in the old manner of conflict resolution: siege, conquest, expulsion. After a 10-month blockade, Azerbaijan launched an attack on Sept. 19, claiming the enclave in a day and causing nearly the entire ethnic Armenian population to flee. Give war a chance, as the saying goes.

For Armenians, a classic relic ethnic minority whose Christianity and peculiar alphabet date to the epic struggles between the Romans and the Parthians, it was another genocide. For the Azerbaijanis, Turkic in language and historically Shia Muslim, a great triumph. Yet despite appearances, the conflict is not a Samuel Huntington-style clash of civilizations. Instead, in its emboldening of traditional regional powers like Turkey, scrambling for geopolitical spoils after the retreat of superpowers, it’s a harbinger of the coming world disorder.

(…)

In the chaotic aftermath of Soviet collapse, the Armenians undertook to defend Nagorno-Karabakh by force. Instead of poetic intellectuals, the wartime generation of Armenian leaders became militia commanders. They proved earthier and, soon, brazenly corrupt. Defending the country became their sole means of legitimacy, ruling out the concessions that peace would require. By 1994 the Armenians, mobilizing around the traumatic memories of genocide, succeeded in expelling scores of Azeris from the enclave. Last month, Azerbaijan got more than even.

In that project, it had a powerful backer: Turkey. President Recep Tayyip Erdogan, a master of vertiginous visions, has already tried Islamic liberalism, joining Europe, leading the Arab revolts, challenging Israel and negotiating peace in Ukraine. He now has another dream: opening a geopolitical corridor from Europe through Central Asia, all the way to China. This is the “Zangezur corridor,” a 25-mile-long strip of land to be carved through Armenia as part of a peace deal imposed at gunpoint.

Iran is not happy with Azerbaijan’s victory. As openly as the Iranians ever do, they’ve threatened to use force against any changes to the borders of Armenia. Iran, a millenniums-old civilization central to a whole continent, cannot tolerate being walled off behind a chain of Turkish dependencies. India, similarly, is on Armenia’s side and has been sending a regular supply of weapons. One spur for such support, no doubt, is Pakistan’s joining the Azeri-Turkish alliance. In the jargon of American lawyers, this opens a whole new can of worms.

Then there’s Russia, whose absence from the denouement in Nagorno-Karabakh was striking. Even after the 1990s, Moscow still remained by far the biggest supplier of weapons to both Armenia and Azerbaijan. Their economies and societies, above all the elites and their corruption networks, were until very recently molded together. What we are seeing now, as both nations slip out of Russia’s orbit, might be the second round of Soviet collapse.

(…)

That brought nearly all the perimeter of the former Soviet Union into Russia’s sphere of influence. Rebellious Belarus, its dictator dependent on Russian support, was in hand; so too the war-torn Caucasus. The large and oil-rich Kazakhstan itself requested Russian peacekeepers during a bewildering bout of street violence in January 2022. Strangely, the elite Russian troops soon departed from Kazakhstan. A month later, the whole world realized that they had been dispatched to Ukraine, the last sizable piece of Mr. Putin’s post-Soviet gambit. And there his plan broke down.

History has a habit of serving the same lessons with changed variables. In 1988, it was the dreamer Gorbachev stumbling over Nagorno-Karabakh that unwittingly shattered the world order. Today, Mr. Putin could become the second, much darker incarnation of the Kremlin aggrandizer going awry on all fronts. The consequences — from emboldening international aggression to reanimating the West under the banner of NATO — will be profound. As events in Nagorno-Karabakh show, the fragile post-Cold War order is giving way to something else entirely.

The Caucasus might seem strange and distant. Yet it might prove the wedge that turns the fortunes of world order. Trieste, Smyrna, Sarajevo, Danzig and Crimea were all such places. Let us not have to relearn history at the cost of yet another ethnic cleansing.”

[macrolit]

The 100 Best Books of the 21st Century.

As voted on by 503 novelists, nonfiction writers, poets, critics and other book lovers — with a little help from the staff of The New York Times Book Review.

NYT Article.

*************

Q: How many of the 100 have you read? Q: Which ones did you love/hate? Q: What's missing?

Here's the full list.

100. Tree of Smoke, Denis Johnson 99. How to Be Both, Ali Smith 98. Bel Canto, Ann Patchett 97. Men We Reaped, Jesmyn Ward 96. Wayward Lives, Beautiful Experiments, Saidiya Hartman 95. Bring Up the Bodies, Hilary Mantel 94. On Beauty, Zadie Smith 93. Station Eleven, Emily St. John Mandel 92. The Days of Abandonment, Elena Ferrante 91. The Human Stain, Philip Roth 90. The Sympathizer, Viet Thanh Nguyen 89. The Return, Hisham Matar 88. The Collected Stories of Lydia Davis 87. Detransition, Baby, Torrey Peters 86. Frederick Douglass, David W. Blight 85. Pastoralia, George Saunders 84. The Emperor of All Maladies, Siddhartha Mukherjee 83. When We Cease to Understand the World, Benjamin Labutat 82. Hurricane Season, Fernanda Melchor 81. Pulphead, John Jeremiah Sullivan 80. The Story of the Lost Child, Elena Ferrante 79. A Manual for Cleaning Women, Lucia Berlin 78. Septology, Jon Fosse 77. An American Marriage, Tayari Jones 76. Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, Gabrielle Zevin 75. Exit West, Mohsin Hamid 74. Olive Kitteridge, Elizabeth Strout 73. The Passage of Power, Robert Caro 72. Secondhand Time, Svetlana Alexievich 71. The Copenhagen Trilogy, Tove Ditlevsen 70. All Aunt Hagar's Children, Edward P. Jones 69. The New Jim Crow, Michelle Alexander 68. The Friend, Sigrid Nunez 67. Far From the Tree, Andrew Solomon 66. We the Animals, Justin Torres 65. The Plot Against America, Philip Roth 64. The Great Believers, Rebecca Makkai 63. Veronica, Mary Gaitskill 62. 10:04, Ben Lerner 61. Demon Copperhead, Barbara Kingsolver 60. Heavy, Kiese Laymon 59. Middlesex, Jeffrey Eugenides 58. Stay True, Hua Hsu 57. Nickel and Dimed, Barbara Ehrenreich 56. The Flamethrowers, Rachel Kushner 55. The Looming Tower, Lawrence Wright 54. Tenth of December, George Saunders 53. Runaway, Alice Munro 52. Train Dreams, Denis Johnson 51. Life After Life, Kate Atkinson 50. Trust, Hernan Diaz 49. The Vegetarian, Han Kang 48. Persepolis, Marjane Satrapi 47. A Mercy, Toni Morrison 46. The Goldfinch, Donna Tartt 45. The Argonauts, Maggie Nelson 44. The Fifth Season, N.K. Jemisin 43. Postwar, Tony Judt 42. A Brief History of Seven Killings, Marlon James 41. Small Things Like These, Claire Keegan 40. H Is for Hawk, Helen Macdonald 39. A Visit from the Goon Squad, Jennifer Egan 38. The Savage Detectives, Roberto Balano 37. The Years, Annie Ernaux 36. Between the World and Me, Ta-Nehisi Coates 35. Fun Home, Alison Bechdel 34. Citizen, Claudia Rankine 33. Salvage the Bones, Jesmyn Ward 32. The Lines of Beauty, Alan Hollinghurst 31. White Teeth, Zadie Smith 30. Sing, Unburied, Sing, Jesmyn Ward 29. The Last Samurai, Helen DeWitt 28. Cloud Atlas, David Mitchell 27. Americanah, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie 26. Atonement, Ian McEwan 25. Random Family, Adrian Nicole LeBlanc 24. The Overstory, Richard Powers 23. Hateship, Friendship, Courtship, Loveship, Marriage, Alice Munro 22. Behind the Beautiful Forevers, Katherine Boo 21. Evicted, Matthew Desmond 20. Erasure, Percival Everett 19. Say Nothing, Patrick Radden Keefe 18. Lincoln in the Bardo, George Saunders 17. The Sellout, Paul Beatty 16. The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay, Michael Chabon 15. Pachinko, Min Jin Lee 14. Outline, Rachel Cusk 13. The Road, Cormac McCarthy 12. The Year of Magical Thinking, Joan Didion 11. The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao, Junot Diaz 10. Gilead, Marilynne Robinson 9. Never Let Me Go, Kazuo Ishiguro 8. Austerlitz, W.G. Sebald 7. The Underground Railroad, Colson Whitehead 6. 2666, Roberto Bolano 5. The Corrections, Jonathan Franzen 4. The Known World, Edward P. Jones 3. Wolf Hall, Hilary Mantel 2. The Warmth of Other Suns, Isabel Wilkerson 1. My Brilliant Friend, Elena Ferrante

[lilithshads]

The Unending Grief of Jenny of Oldstones 𓇢𓆸

george r.r martin // nana komatsu // charles baudelaire // velimir khlebnikov // unknown // enzo vogrincic & nana komatsu // george r.r martin // cesare saccaggi // jay vespertine @letsbelonelytogetherr // pinterest // george r.r martin // anne carson // like grains of sand (1995) // goo goo dolls // nana komatsu // pinterest // anne magill // florence & machine //pavana reddy // jane b. for agnès v (1988) // taylor swift // @ojibwa // florence & the machine // haunting of hill house ( 2018 ) // seven samurai (1954) // pinterest // florence & the machine // gaston bussière

[foamingatthemeowth]

Yo! Tirrrb is live and fundraising for the Sarsour family in Gaza!

You can donate here!

@all-alone-in-the-moonlight @wormkink @greggorylee @lesbianmaxevans @opalescent-apples @ann-beth @oni-1-oni-none @sillyprettyfairy

[ollieofthebeholder]

8, 13, and/or 16 :]

8.) what’s a podcast where you mix up the characters voices? I've honestly never really had that problem! Every podcast I've listened to has done a really damn good job of keeping their character voices distinct. Now, I might occasionally mix up the actors' voices (we won't discuss how long I thought Cam Collins was the voice of Glory Ann Boggs), but never the characters.

13.) what do you like to do while listening to a podcast? "Like" is a strong word, but I usually listen to them while I'm working. If I'm listening off the clock, I crochet or cross-stitch while I listen. Just something with my hands that I don't have to think too hard about so I can focus on [REDACTED].

16.) what songs do you associate with a certain character/ podcast? Oh, boy, this is a List™. In no particular order:

"Bones in the Ocean" by The Longest Johns is inextricably bound up with Zolf Smith in my mind. (I know I used it for a TMA fic too but it's a Zolf song.)

"All the Wasted Time" from Parade is the ultimate JonMartin song and you cannot convince me otherwise.

Similarly, "You and I (The Story of Chess)" from the musical Chess inevitably makes me think of TMA. You and I We've seen it all Chasing our hearts' desires Yet we go on pretending Stories like ours have happy endings...

Maybe it's cheating to say "Lower Lights/Throw Out the Lifeline" is now forever associated with Martin Blackwood, since I did that to myself, but I did it and now it's true.

Apart from all the music that's been the weather, which doesn't count, "Weekend in New England" by Barry Manilow always makes me think of Welcome to Night Vale, and in particular Carlos and Cecil during that period where Carlos was trapped in the desert otherworld.

"Walk Through the Fire" from the musical episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer will never not make me think of Hamid and the fight against Guivres ever again.

"Sixteen Tons" (originally by Tennessee Ernie Ford but I like Geoff Castellucci's version) has been associated with Old Gods of Appalachia in my mind since the first time I heard it and that isn't changing any time soon.

Less podcast and more fanfic, but the first time I listened to "A Thousand Years" by Christina Perri this whole animatic unfolded in my head of JonMarTim's relationship arc in leaves too high to touch (roots too strong to fall) and now it plays across my mind every time I listen, which means I can't listen to it too often or I start seriously lamenting my lack of artistic skills.

I'm sure there are more, but those are all the ones that come to mind...

[thebellekeys]

March 2023 TBR

Tender is the Flesh by Agustina Bazterrica

Exit West by Mohsin Hamid

As Long as the Lemon Trees Grow by Zoulfa Katouh

Daughter of the Blood by Anne Bishop

Coolie Woman by Gaiutra Bahadur

[professional-idiocy]

I found the source!

Couldn't find a direct reference to PTSD in the first one, but they have documented many different mental health issues and most of the time it was ghosts attacking you, or you pissed off a god in here:

"Diagnoses in Assyrian and Babylonian Medicine: Ancient Sources, Translations, and Modern Medical Analyses

Jo Ann Scurlock, Burton Andersen, 2005"

However the one below quotes stuff from the above and interprets it way better than I could as PTSD, which makes sense. I'm a random guy who can access studies through the university while they've dedicated a lot more time to this . The one above has a lot of interesting things about things other than PTSD too. So I can suggest reading them both.

"Nothing New under the Sun: Post-Traumatic Stress Disorders in the Ancient World

Walid Khalid Abdul-Hamid, Jamie Hacker Hughes, 2014"

To Quote Hughes and Abdul Hamid on their quote from Scurlock and Andersen and to support Tumblr user @mr-elementle screenshots from the second source, featuring alt text!

Also, obligatory... Why the fuck did none of you look up the source before?!

Sumerian Veteran: *has severe PTSD but doesn't know it because the term won't be invented for another 5000 years* I fight the same battle in my dreams every night and my relationship with my family has fallen apart.

Sumerian Healer: *saw hundreds of veterans with the exact same affliction before* You're cursed by desert demons.

[penguins-united]

Books read in 2024 (rereads in italics, new favorites in bold):

Stormbreaker (Anthony Horowitz)

Clouds of Witness (Dorothy L. Sayers)

The Master and His Emissary: The Divided Brain and the Making of the Western World (Iain McGilchrist)

Hornblower and the Atropos (C.S. Forester)

Weep Not Child (Ngugi wa Thiongo)

It Can’t Happen Here (Sinclair Lewis)

Unnatural Death (Dorothy L. Sayers)

We Were Liars (E. Lockhart)

The Man Who Was Thursday: A Nightmare (G.K. Chesterton)

In the House of the Interpreter (Ngugi wa Thiongo)

For Whom the Bell Tolls (Ernest Hemingway)

Lord Peter Views the Body (Dorothy L. Sayers)

The Unpleasantness at the Bellona Club (Dorothy L. Sayers)

The Promised Land (Grace Ogot)

Point Blank (Anthony Horowitz)

Outlive: The Science and Art of Longevity (Peter Attia)

Strong Poison (Dorothy L. Sayers)

Song of Lawino (Okot p’Bitek)

The Sea of Monsters (Rick Riordan)

Darkness at Noon (Arthur Koestler)

The Five Red Herrings (Dorothy L. Sayers)

Things Fall Apart (Chinua Achebe)

The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes (Suzanne L. Collins)

The Blue Castle (L.M. Montgomery)

Purple Hibiscus (Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie)

Naming What We Know (Linda Adler-Kassner)

A Wrinkle In Time (Madeleine L’Engle)

Have His Carcase (Dorothy L. Sayers)

Murder Must Advertise (Dorothy L. Sayers)

Cursed Bunny (Bora Chung)

The Luzhin Defense (Vladimir Nabokov)

The Goblin Emperor (Katherine Addison)

Stars in Your Eyes (Kacen Callender)

System Collapse (Martha Wells)

Skeleton Key (Anthony Horowitz)

The Whispering Skull (Jonathan Stroud)

The Titan’s Curse (Rick Riordan)

How to Get Filthy Rich in Rising Asia (Mohsin Hamid)

Brideshead Revisited (Evelyn Waugh)

The Thing Around Your Neck (Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie)

Persepolis (Marjane Satrapi)

The God of Small Things (Arundhati Roy)

The Nine Tailors (Dorothy L. Sayers)

Funny Boy (Shyam Selvadurai)

Sula (Toni Morrison)

Gaudy Night (Dorothy L. Sayers)

The Lies of Locke Lamora (Scott Lynch)

Frankenstein (Mary Shelley)

The Seeing Eye and Other Essays (C.S. Lewis)

The Mysterious Benedict Society (Trenton Lee Stewart)

The Battle of the Labyrinth (Rick Riordan)

The Goblin Emperor (Katherine Addison) (yes, again)

Busman’s Honeymoon (Dorothy L. Sayers)

2BR02B (Kurt Vonnegut)

The Pelican Brief (John Grisham)

The Darkness Outside Us (Eliot Schrefer)

The Extraordinary Education of Nicholas Benedict (Trenton Lee Stewart)

Poe’s Children: The New Horror (Peter Straub)

Master & Commander (Patrick O’Brian)

Red Rising (Pierce Brown)

Post Captain (Patrick O’Brian)

The Hands of the Emperor (Victoria Goddard)

Survive the Night (Riley Sager)

The Habit of Being: Letters of Flannery O’Connor (Flannery O’Connor)

The Spring of the Ram (Dorothy Dunnett)

The Treason of the Intellectuals (Julien Benda)

Poetry of the First World War: An Anthology (Tim Kendall)

Mere Christianity (C.S. Lewis)

The Library at Mount Char (Scott Hawkins)

The Caves of Steel (Isaac Asimov)

Dead Lions (Mick Herron)

False Alarm (Bjorn Lomborg)

Crown Duel (Sherwood Smith)

Howl, Kaddish, and Other Poems (Allen Ginsberg)

House of Secrets (Noel Sterling)

Real Tigers (Mick Herron)

Beat to Quarters (C.S. Forester)

No Longer Human (Osamu Dazai)

Ancillary Justice (Ann Leckie)

Spook Street (Mick Herron)

Ancillary Sword (Ann Leckie)

London Rules (Mick Herron)

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone (J.K. Rowling)

A Deadly Education (Naomi Novik)

Ancillary Mercy (Ann Leckie)

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (J.K. Rowling)

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (J.K. Rowling)

The Last Graduate (Naomi Novik)

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (J.K. Rowling)

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (J.K. Rowling)

Both Flesh and Not: Essays (David Fostsr Wallace)

Falling Free (Lois McMaster Bujold)

Salvation of a Saint (Keigo Higashino)

[smithlibrary]

NYT's Best Books - 21st Century A book from the New York Times 100 Best Books of the 21st Century

My Brilliant Friend by Elena Ferrante (Fiction)

The Warmth of Other Suns by Isabel Wilkerson (Non-fiction 304.809 WIL)

Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel (Fiction)

2666 by Roberto Bolano (Classics)

The Underground Railroad by Colson Whitehead (Fiction)

Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro (SFF)

Gilead by Marilynne Robinson (Fiction)

The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz (Fiction)

The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion (BIO)

The Road by Cormac McCarthy (Fiction)

Outline by Rachel Cusk (Fiction)

Pachinko by Min Jin Lee (Fiction)

The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay by Michael Chabon (Fiction)

Lincoln in the Bardo by George Saunders (Fiction; also available as eBook or eAudiobook)

Say Nothing by Patrick Radden Keefe (364.152 KEE)

Evicted by Matthew Desmond (Nonfiction 339.46 DES)

Behind the Beautiful Forevers by Katherine Boo (Non-fiction 305.569 BOO)

The Overstory by Richard Powers (Fiction)

Atonement by Ian McEwan (Fiction)

Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (Fiction)

Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell (Fiction)

Sing, Unburied, Sing by Jesmyn Ward (Fiction)

Salvage the Bones by Jesmyn Ward (Fiction)

Fun Home by Alison Bechdel (BIO)

Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates (Non-fiction 305.8 COA)

A Visit From the Goon Squad by Jennifer Egan (Fiction)

H Is for Hawk by Helen Macdonald (Nonfiction 598.944 MAC)

Small Things Like These by Claire Keegan (eAudiobook)

A Brief History of Seven Killings by Marlon James (Fiction)

The Fifth Season by N.K. Jemisin (SFF Fiction)

The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt (Fiction)

A Mercy by Toni Morrison (Classics)

Persepolis by Marjane Satrapi (BIO)

The Vegetarian by Han Kang (Fiction)

Trust by Hernan Diaz (FICTION)

Life After Life by Kate Atkinson (Mystery)

Tenth of December by George Saunders (Fiction)

The Looming Tower by Lawrence Wright (Non-fiction 973.931 WRI)

Nickel and Dimed by Barbara Ehrenreich (Non-fiction 305.569 EHR)

The Story of the Lost Child by Elena Ferrante (Fiction)

Stay True by Hua Hsu (BIO)

Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides (Fiction)

Heavy by Kiese Laymon

Demon Copperhead by Barbara Kingsolver (Fiction, eBook, eAudiobook, Large Print)

The Great Believers by Rebecca Makkai (Fiction)

Far From the Tree by Andrew Solomon (YA Non-Fiction YA 362.408 SOL)

The Friend by Sigrid Nunez (Fiction)

The New Jim Crow by Michelle Alexander (Non-fiction 364.973 ALE; also available for download as eBook and eAudiobook)

The Passage of Power by Robert A. Caro (BIO)

Olive Kitteridge by Elizabeth Strout (Fiction; also available as eBook and eAudiobook)

Exit West by Mohsin Hamid (Fiction)

An American Marriage by Tayari Jones (Fiction)

Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin (Fiction)

When We Cease to Understand the World by Benjamin Labatut (Fiction)

The Emperor of All Maladies by Siddhartha Mukherjee (Non-fiction 616.994 MUK)

Frederick Douglass by David W. Blight (BIO)

The Sympathizer by Viet Thanh Nguyen (Fiction; also available as audiobook)

Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mandel (Fiction)

Bring Up the Bodies by Hilary Mantel (Fiction; also available as audiobook)

Men We Reaped by Jesmyn Ward (BIO)

Bel Canto by Ann Patchett (Fiction; also available as eAudiobook)

[asifnawfal]

WEEK 12

Artistic Vision Statement

We were tasked to create our own Artistic Vision Statement on week 10. We were asked four questions and was tasked to answer them. Our answers was then passed to another classmate at random and they would provide critique on our answers.

I don't have a pretty clear idea with what I want to do in the next five years. Currently, I am just going with the flow. I hope that in five years time, I will be able to co-own my own brand. Expanding on the idea of building this brand, there are a lot of things i have to do in order to be able to create it. I will have to properly research and understand what it means to own a brand. I know how tough and challenging it is and I must prepare myself for the worst.

The artwork "Dalam" by Mohdir is a piece i find rather exquisite. The piece itself has a beautiful meaning behind it. The concept behind "Dalam" centers on the interior experience and how people engage with spaces on an intimate level. This project delves into the subtlety of how interior environments shape our emotions, behaviors, and sense of identity. Rather than focusing purely on form, "Dalam" invites viewers to reflect on the atmosphere, materiality, and sensory experiences that define spaces.

For me, "Dalam" by Mohdir is a powerful reminder of what design can truly achieve. It pushes me to go beyond just creating functional or aesthetically pleasing spaces, encouraging me to design with a deeper sense of emotion and purpose.

The project’s focus on simplicity, sensory engagement, and thoughtful restraint inspires me to strip away unnecessary complexity and instead focus on the subtle details that truly resonate with people. It reminds me that great design isn’t just about what’s seen—it’s about how a space makes someone feel. This project motivates me to think about design as a tool for creating reflection, well-being, and connection, and to always ask myself: How can I make my work not just visually appealing, but deeply impactful for those who experience it?

This correlates to my artistic vision as I can use the same ideology behind "Dalam" as the perfect foundation for creating my brand. It teaches me that design isn’t just about the end product—it’s about creating meaningful connections and emotional experiences for the people who engage with it.

By focusing on simplicity, sensory richness, and purposeful restraint, I can shape my brand to prioritize quality over quantity, creating designs that leave a lasting emotional impact. My brand won’t just be about the products or spaces I create, but about how they make people feel—whether it's calm, connection, or reflection. Like "Dalam", I want my brand to evoke emotion and tell a story that resonates deeply, setting my work apart through authenticity, depth, and a commitment to transformative design.

(~475 words)

REFERENCES:

“11 Artist Statement Examples (Plus Steps for Writing Yours).” Indeed, 15 August 2024, https://www.indeed.com/career-advice/career-development/artist-statement-examples.

Southwell, Colin. “Artistic Vision Statement.” Market Your Art, https://marketyourart.net/artistic-vision-statement/.

Papadimitriou, Alexander. “DALAM SOUTHEAST ASIA.” National Gallery Singapore, 7 July 2023, https://www.nationalgallery.sg/sites/default/files/The_Neglected_Dimension_Exhibition_Catalogue_July2023.pdf

Ramli, Nadia. “Creative Collectives: Abdul Ghani Abdul Hamid and His Contemporaries.” BiblioAsia, 31 January 2019, https://biblioasia.nlb.gov.sg/vol-14/issue-4/jan-mar-2019/creative-collectives/.

Bonneau, Anne. “How to Turn Old Jeans into an Awesome Denim Bag.” Zero-Waste Chef, 27 February 2024, https://zerowastechef.com/2024/02/27/turn-old-jeans-into-awesome-denim-bag/

[jxrm]

book log - 2019

my kind of perfect by hannah ellis

not the girl you marry by andie j. christopher

the wedding party by jasmine guillory

sweet venom by tera lynn childs

obsession by amanda robson

the proposal by jasmine guillory

maybe in another life by taylor jenkins reid

the last librarian by brandt legg

exit west by mohsin hamid

the water cure by sophie mackintosh

the broken hearts' society of suite 17c by leighann kopans

royal holiday by jasmine guillory

the good samaritan by john marrs

fuck marriage by taryn fisher

christmas with friends by hannah ellis

the death of mrs. westaway by ruth ware

gabi, a girl in pieces by isabel quintero

swipe right for murder by derek millman

#therealcinderella by yesenia vargas

shutter island by dennis lehane

the wedding of rachel blaine by amy cross

pieces of her by karin slaughter

these witches don't burn by isabel sterling

a spark of light by jodi picoult

the friend by teresa driscoll

frankissstein by jeanette winterson

how to hang a witch by adriana mather

the bride test by helen hoang

just one bite by jack heath

the babysitters coven by kate williams

blame game by c.j. cooke

about the night by anat talshir

wreckage by emily bleeker

our house by louise candilish

just what kind of mother are you? by paula daly

the other ann by amy cross

in a dark, dark wood by ruth ware

spare room by dreda say mitchell

jar of hearts by jennifer hillier

without remorse by tom clancy

the amateurs by liz harmer

exhalation by ted chiang

the astonishing color of after by emily x.r. pan

all the beautiful lies by peter swanson

batman: year one by frank miller

go by kazuki kaneshiro

the bird and the sword by amy harmon

q is for quarry by sue grafton

guilt by amanda robson

blame it on bianca del rio by bianca del rio

size 14 is not fat either by meg cabot

the banker's wife by cristina alger

a good enough mother by bev thomas

someone we know by shari lapena

the man i thought you were by leah mercer

radio silence by alice oseman

the butterfly garden by dot hutchison

in twenty years by allison winn scotch

what happened at the lake by phil m. williams

the thinnest air by minka kent

you know me well by nina lacour

the waiting room by emily bleeker

sleeping murder by agatha christie

we were mothers by katie sise

bunny by mona awad

the one by john marrs

losing leah halloway by lisa reganby devney perry

the song of achilles by madeline miller

daughters of the lake by wendy webb

remember me? by sophie kinsella

the birthday list by devney perry

a curse so dark and lonely by birgid kemmener

spindle by e.k. johnston

the babysitter by sheryl browne

a serial killer's daughter by kerri rawson

the ex by alafair burke

the meryl streep movie club by mia march

watership down by richard adams

every ugly word by aimee l. salter

the rhythm of blues by love belvin

killman creek by rachel caine

undead girl gang by lily anderson

the turn of the key by ruth ware

smart girls gets what they want by sarah strohmeyer

girl gnoe virals by arvin ahmadi

the perfect roommate by minka kent

brother by david chariandy

that time i loved you by carrianne leung

lock every door by riley sager

the zen man by colleen collins

stillhouse lake by rachel caine

daisy jones & the six by taylor jenkins reid

once upon a river by daine setterfield

the good widow by liz fenton

sadie by courtney summers

dead girls by tim kizer

half past by victoria helen stone

the woo-woo by lindsay wong

ender's game by orson scott card

smoke by catherine mckenzie

the favorite daughter by kaira rouda

xo by jeffery deaver

whiskey in a teacup by reese witherspoon

the truth lies here by lindsey klingele

save the date by morgan matson

i am wathcing you by teresa driscoll

the last time i lied by riley sager

alex and eliza by melissa de la cruz

little fires everywhere by celeste ng

the long deception by mary mccluskey

fast forward by juliet madison

emergency contact by mary h.k. choi

two weddings and a fugitive by donna joy usher

the rules of magic by alice hoffman

i dream of johnny by juliet madison

friends like these by hannah ellids

the perfect mother by aimee molloy

a beautiful poison by lydia kang

girls with sharp sticks by suzanne young

the other woman by sandie jones

from twinkle with love by sandhya menon

the seven husbands of evelyn hugo by taylor jenkins reid

instant mom by nia vardalos

finding claire by lisa regan

the silent patient by alex michaelides

hidden bodies by caroline kepnes

playing with matches by hannah orenstein

the last resort by marissa stapley

robin by dave itzkoff

the perfect child by lucinda berry

sugar run by mesha maren

the afterlife of holly chase by cynthia hand

bright side by kim holden

convenience store woman by sayaka murata

the perfect mother by nina darnton

rush by lisa patton

girls' night out by liz fenton

the tattooist of auschwitz by heather morris

the power by naomi alderman

bird box by josh malerman

all we ever wanted by emily giffin

the haunting of hill house by shirley jackson

this is how it always is by laurie frankel

eligible by curtis sittenfield

the better sister by alafair burke

an anonymous girl by greer hendricks

educated by tara westover

nine perfect strangers by liane moriarty

the good neighbor: the life and work of fred rogers by maxwell king

harry potter and the philosopher's stone by j.k. rowling

five feet apart by rachael lippincott

the seven deaths of evelyn hardcastle by stuart turton

harry potter and the chamber of secrets by j.k. rowling

verity by colleen hoover

the wedding beat by devan sipher

harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban by j.k. rowling

boy swallows universe by trent dalton

the polygamist's daughter by anna labaron

harry potter and the order of the phoenix by j.k. rowling

starstruck in seattle by juliet madison

harry potter and the goblet of fire by j.k. rowling

13 minutes by sarah pinborough

harry potter and the half blood prince by j.k. rowling

the silver star by jeannette walls

harry potter and the deathly hallows by j.k. rowling

the girls by emma cline

the sun is also a star by nicola yoon

[brookstonalmanac]

Events 8.31 (before 1950)

1056 – After a sudden illness a few days previously, Byzantine Empress Theodora dies childless, thus ending the Macedonian dynasty. 1057 – Abdication of Byzantine Emperor Michael VI Bringas after just one year. 1218 – Al-Kamil becomes sultan of the Ayyubid dynasty. 1314 – King Haakon V of Norway moves the capital from Bergen to Oslo. 1420 – The 8.8–9.4 Caldera earthquake shakes Chile's Atacama Region causing tsunami in Chile, Hawaii, and Japan. 1422 – King Henry V of England dies of dysentery while in France. His son, Henry VI, becomes King of England at the age of nine months. 1535 – Pope Paul III excommunicates English King Henry VIII from the church. He drew up a papal bull of excommunication which began Eius qui immobilis. 1776 – William Livingston, the first Governor of New Jersey, begins serving his first term. 1795 – War of the First Coalition: The British capture Trincomalee (present-day Sri Lanka) from the Dutch in order to keep it out of French hands. 1798 – Irish Rebellion: Irish rebels, with French assistance, establish the short-lived Republic of Connacht. 1813 – Peninsular War: Spanish troops repel a French attack in the Battle of San Marcial. 1864 – During the American Civil War, Union forces led by General William T. Sherman launch an assault on Atlanta. 1876 – Ottoman Sultan Murad V is deposed and succeeded by his brother, Abdul Hamid II. 1886 – The 7.0 Mw  Charleston earthquake affects southeastern South Carolina with a maximum Mercalli intensity of X (Extreme). Sixty people killed with damage estimated at $5–6 million. 1888 – Mary Ann Nichols is murdered. She is the first of Jack the Ripper's confirmed victims. 1895 – German Count Ferdinand von Zeppelin patents his navigable balloon. 1907 – Russia and the United Kingdom sign the Anglo-Russian Convention, by which the UK recognizes Russian preeminence in northern Persia, while Russia recognizes British preeminence in southeastern Persia and Afghanistan. Both powers pledge not to interfere in Tibet. 1918 – World War I: Start of the Battle of Mont Saint-Quentin, a successful assault by the Australian Corps during the Hundred Days Offensive. 1920 – Polish–Soviet War: A decisive Polish victory in the Battle of Komarów. 1933 – The Integral Nationalist Group wins the 1933 Andorran parliamentary election, the first election in Andorra held with universal male suffrage. 1935 – In an attempt to stay out of the growing tensions concerning Germany and Japan, the United States passes the first of its Neutrality Acts. 1936 – Radio Prague, now the official international broadcasting station of the Czech Republic, goes on the air. 1939 – Nazi Germany mounts a false flag attack on the Gleiwitz radio station, creating an excuse to attack Poland the following day, thus starting World War II in Europe. 1940 – Pennsylvania Central Airlines Trip 19 crashes near Lovettsville, Virginia. The CAB investigation of the accident is the first investigation to be conducted under the Bureau of Air Commerce act of 1938. 1941 – World War II: Serbian paramilitary forces defeat Germans in the Battle of Loznica. 1943 – USS Harmon, the first U.S. Navy ship to be named after a black person, is commissioned. 1949 – The retreat of the Democratic Army of Greece into Albania after its defeat on Gramos mountain marks the end of the Greek Civil War.

[burningdarkfire]

books i read in apr 2024

[these are all short + casual reviews - feel free to ask about individual ones if u want my full thoughts or ask for my goodreads!!] 

rosencrantz & guildenstern are dead - tom stoppard ★★★★★ (play)

i watched this performed live with billy boyd and dominic monaghan as the leads and tbh thought it was "just fine" but being able to read it at my own pace ... the devastation really set in 😩

delicious in dungeon vols. 4-7 - ryoko kui ★★★★☆ (fantasy manga)

finally overtook the anime and i'm really looking forward to getting into the meat of the story!

exit west - mohsin hamid ★★★★☆ (contemporary, magical realism)

loved the writing style and the perspective, it's very beautiful and very human

close to death - anthony horowitz ★★★★☆ (mystery)

one of the stronger installments in this series. i always enjoy a story-within-a-story kind of frame, however loose!

none of this is true - lisa jewell ★★★★☆ (thriller)

extremely readable and genuinely thrilling book with a disappointingly weak ending 😔

vigilance - robert jackson bennett ★★★★☆ (dystopian)

nothing particularly new or fresh about a gun-obsessed america but RJB does know how to make a point and stick to it

penance - eliza clark ★★★☆☆ (contemporary)

ostensibly is a critique of true crime although imo it mostly just reads like. true crime. possibly i am not familiar enough to pick up on the nuance. but also, hilariously, it's at least a little bit about teenage girls who are socialized about tumblr and that really lent a flavour to my reading experience

autobiography of red - anne carson ★★★☆☆ (contemporary, verse, mythological re-telling)

started this as an audiobook and could not follow it at all - switch to paper to finish but. hmmm. i think it just needs more out of me than i currently have to give

green dot - madeleine gray ★★★☆☆ (contemporary)

i didn't know this was just a book about a young woman who is the affair partner of a married man but it really is just that. probably fine if you like that sort of thing but i don't so i was bored

this wretched valley - jenny kiefer ★★★☆☆ (horror)

light on the tension and suspense, heavy on the gore and suffering. not much in the way of themes or any deeper storytelling

everyone you hate is going to die - daniel sloss ★★★☆☆ (memoir, essays)

listened to this on audio and it felt more like a podcast than anything. sometimes funny but often just rambling and crude

lobizona - romina garber ★★☆☆☆ (YA fantasy)

pacing is poor and it reads much younger than it's marketed. it also reads a lot like baby's first trans narrative. i think this would be a great book if it'd been written for pre-teens instead!

[DNF] minor feelings - cathy park hong ★★☆☆☆ (memoir, essays)

listened to this on audio. racism is real but so are annoying people 😭

[teachingmycattoread]

Things We’ve Yelled About This Episode #3.7

The Raven Tower, Ann Leckie

The Song of Achilles, Madeleine Miller

Small Gods, Terry Pratchett

You won’t like them when they’re angry - a catchphrase of the Incredible Hulk, Marvel

Ancillary Justice, Ann Leckie

The Raven Tower audiobook and narrator Adjoa Andoh (imdb)

How To Get Filthy Rich In Rising Asia, Mohsin Hamid

How To Get Filthy Rich In Rising Asia audiobook

The Broken Earth, N. K. Jemisin (spoilers for)

A Story About You, Welcome To Night Vale (Spotify)

Hamlet, William Shakespeare

Something is rotten in the state of Denmark, Hamlet, Act I Scene 4

American Gods, Neil Gaiman

Ents, Middle Earth, J. R. R. Tolkien (wiki)

Cabin in the Woods (2011)

Eragon, Christopher Paolini

Gunnerkrigg Court (website)

Xkcd (website)

Girls with Slingshots (website)

Coyote, Gunnerkrigg Court (wiki)

Tulpa (wiki)

Jones, Gunnerkrigg Court (wiki)

This panel is the one that makes M think of Strength and Patience

I only am escaped alone to tell thee - Job I.15, 16, 17

Murderbot Diaries, Martha Wells

Mansplain Manipulate Malewife/Gaslight Gatekeep Girlboss (meme)

I support gay rights and also gay wrongs (an internet saying I can find no sources for)

Cat Rating

7/10

What Else Are We Reading?

Blue Period, Tsubasa Yamaguchi

Dredge

To Be Or Not To Be, Ryan North

Macbeth, William Shakespeare

D&D: Honor Among Thieves (2023)

Next Time On Teaching My Cat To Read

A mini episode, this time on our beloved Temeraire!

[rosesnink]

The Viscountess, Chapter Four: The Art of Parenting

Author’s Notes: 

*English is not my first language, so please forgive any grammar mistakes/typos 

“If this is the first time you come across the series, catch up here! 

Summary: What seemed like a nice sleepover at Roselyn Richards house turns out differently... 

Rating: PG-13 

Word Count: 3248 

Friday at Nicole's house… 

"Anne, dear, do you have everything?" Nicole asked her daughter. 

"I can't find Wobbly!" She said, frustrated and breathing heavily. Wobbly was a special toy her therapist gave her for journeys to unknown territory. Without it, Anne would be likely to have a breakdown. 

"I'm on it!" Hamid said, now starting to search for it, careful not to make more of a mess of the house "How does Wobbly look like Annie?" 

"He's purple and has curves. It's—it's like my own, personal steering wheel." Hamid nodded and gave her a soothing reassurance. Ten minutes passed until Hamid cried triumphally that he had found him. Anne rushed towards him and hugged him and kissed his cheek as a wordless thank you. His smile couldn't be wider. She also whispered something in his ear that made him smile impossibly wide, looking at Nicole with loving eyes. She wondered what she had told him about her. She looked at the clock and the fact that she had four missed calls from Roselyn and over thirty-five unread messages. She gasped, begging Hamid to please start the car and help Anne with her car travel routine as she attended the call. Two rings before Roselyn picked up "Hey, Roselyn! I'm sorry we're so late, Anne needed something for the car travel and we had been looking for it and lost track on time." 

"I understand. But please hurry! My husband is dying to meet you both and he'll head to work in thirty minutes!" 

"Got it, we're on our way." 

She didn't waste time getting into the car, kiss Hamid goodbye and drive fast, but without triggering Anne. She made it to the Richards manor in ten minutes and sighed. Ernest was just getting out, chatting animatedly with Isabelle, both giggling about something while looking at the window. When he spotted Nicole and Anne, he got back to his stoic self and cleared his throat "Nicole, Anne. May I help you with Anne's belongings?" He offered, as gentlemanly and proper as usual. 

"That'd be great, thank you." 

She opened the trunk and helped her with the rather heavy bag. He raised an eyebrow but didn't ask. She figured that he knew that it wasn't much his business. He insisted to go to Roselyn before she exploded and he and Isabelle would help with the belongings. Anne hugged Isabelle hello and went inside. 

"Whoa," said Anne "this is like one of those futuristic homes in the movies!" 

"I'm glad you like it, kiddo." An unfamiliar masculine voice said. A man in a grey suit with grey hair and imposing blue eyes appeared and bent his knee to greet Anne "Tristan Richards, I believe we met at your early debut." She greeted him courteously and he smiled satisfied "Ah, the infamous Lady Nicole Donovan! I was wondering when I'd get a chance to see you again." He kissed her hand "You look as lovely as ever, and so does your charming daughter." 

"Thank you kindly, sir…" 

His lip twitched but smiled nevertheless "Mr. Richards is fine." 

She looked at him curiously "Hm, your name seems familiar…" Then, it clicked and gasped "Oh my! You're the descendant of Tristan Richards III, the duke of Karlington who—,"

"Uh, I'd prefer if you do not mention that horrible event. But yes… that's me, Tristan Richards VI, at your service, my lady." 

"Aren't you a charmer, my love?" Roselyn kissed her husband, which made Anne cover her eyes. 

"Don't take it personally. She still recoils at romance." Nicole assured. 

A small five-year-old blonde boy appeared with big energy before Nicole. It was Percival, their son. Roselyn beamed at the boy "Well, look who woke up from his nap!" 

"Ah, there's my boy! He looks so much like me, doesn't he?" Richards smiled with pride. 

"Anne! Is my step-father creeping you out yet?" Isabelle called. 

"Isabelle!" Roselyn chided her daughter. She whispered to Nicole "She still hasn't accepted my divorce from her father." 

"That's bull, I don't care that you divorced my father, I care that your new husband is an asshole!" She snapped. 

"Why you foul-mouthed—," 

"Please, don't fight!" Anne wailed, cradling her head with her arms. Nicole hugged her daughter and reached on her bag for Siobhan, her bunny. She handed it to her and asked Isabelle to take her to a warm, silent place, which she took immediately. 

"Nicole, I am incredibly sorry! I did not mean to trigger your girl, I swear! It's just… it hasn't been easy since the divorce. My relationship with both Ernest and Isabelle hasn't been the same." Roselyn admitted. Nicole then noticed that Richards was serving himself some bourbon. "Ernest only talks to me when it comes to Isabelle and nothing else and Isabelle is all snappy and rude with Tristan. I do not understand why…" 

"I can tell, but as Anne's mom, and for her sake… I'd appreciate it if you focused on making this funny and drama-free and try not to do anything that could trigger her… here, I made a list of Anne's favorite dishes and triggers and other details that could come in handy." 

Roselyn smiled at her "Thank you, Nicole. Now, would you like to stay for lunch?" 

"Uh, sadly, I have a shift now and then a date with my boyfriend that has been there for a week now." 

Roselyn smirked "Boyfriend, eh? Is that dashing Turkish diplomat you danced at the gala with? I wish you two every happiness!" 

"Likewise." She smiled politely at her. She grabbed her purse and made her goodbyes to the couple "And if you need anything, you have my number!" 

"See you soon, Nicole." 

"Tell me all the deets about him!" Roselyn winked. 

Then she drove off. 

Anne had finally calmed down, and Isabelle sighed with content. She placed a hand on her shoulder "Hey… sorry about earlier. It's just… every time he appears, I'm on edge." 

"I understand, just… don't do it again, okay?" 

"Promised." She winked "Now, let me show you the entire house—minus my parents' room. Trust me, you do not want to go in there. Ew." 

Anne frowned "Why?" 

"…When you turn my age, you'll understand." 

She showed her the house: the dining room, the kitchen, the three bathrooms, the basement that had a garden, the attic, the guest room, and finally, Isabelle's own room "You will sleep here, and you can leave your things next to mine. Dinners at seven and if you wish a snack, you better have good words or adorable puppy eyes, or else the cook will tell Mum. Avoid all you can Richards and you shall return Sunday afternoon as sane as you came." 

"What will we do tomorrow?" Anne asked. 

"We will go to the park with my father and girls' afternoon with my Mum. The evening will probably be all about packing your things." 

Anne looked at Isabelle "Why is Richards so bad to you? Is it because he is old?" 

Isabelle sighed, not sure how to explain to someone so innocent and clueless about the man that Tristan Richards was: proud, narcissistic, possessive, and an overall creep. 

"The age has nothing to do. He is one of those men who are not to be trusted. But don't say I said that. I could get in serious trouble with my mum." 

"I won't. Pinky promise." 

Isabelle smiled, grateful at the girl. The thought Mrs. Donovan made a great job at raising Anne on her own. She seemed like the kind of sweet, liberal, and cool mom everyone wanted to have. 

"I have to sleep over at your house one day." She commented. 

Anne's eyes shone with hope "You would? Really?" 

She nodded and Isabelle smiled at her. 

"Girls! Dinner's ready!" Her mother called. 

They both went down and Richards nodded to Anne and sat down. Isabelle looked at the dish: durum, a Turkish dish Hamid introduced her. Richards grimaced at the sight of it "What kind of monstrosity is this?" 

"Hey! Show a bit of respect! Not everyone likes your rich arse kind of food." Isabelle defended her friend. 

"Isabelle may be right. Food taste is as diverse. Besides, I asked the cook to make your usual dinner." 

Isabelle snorted and whispered, "He's so old he can't shite properly." 

"What did you say?" He glared at her. 

"She said that where this food is from," Anne jumped to defend her friend "My mom's boyfriend took us to a Turkish doner and we both loved it, so we take it every weekend if I have made three of the five tasks of the week." 

Roselyn looked curiously at the girl "The Five Tasks of the Week?" 

She nodded enthusiastically "Yep! I write down every Sunday five things I'd like to get done, and if I do three or more, Mama awards me with something I like, like going to the cinema or buying me that book I like." 

"Sounds cool! What are your favorite books?" 

Anne smiled "I like books about botany and fantasy! My favorite one is The Secret of Ninradell." 

"Oh! That book is one of Issy's faves as well!" Roselyn beamed "Ernest used to read it to her for bed every night. She wouldn't sleep until one of us read it to her!" 

Isabelle smiled "I can lend you some of my books I don't read anymore, as a gift." 

"Ah, such a smart kid we have raised, Roselyn." Richards smiled. 

Isabelle glared at Richards "I inherited my father's intelligence. He raised me, not you, dumbo." 

Richards and Isabelle glared at each other before looking at an uncomfortable Anne, then fell silent. He cleared his throat and smiled at Anne "How's school?" 

"It's good. I met more kids like me and made some friends. Though I'm having a hard time with math." 

Richards smiled "I can help you with that! I've always been the best at math!" He said, proudly. 

"Thank you, but my uncle Harry already helps me." She smiled politely. 

"Harry? As in Harry Foredale? The famous Viscount of Edgewater?" Isabelle's jaw dropped. 

"Uh… yes." 

Roselyn whispered gingerly in Anne's ear "My little girl has a crush on him." Then, she giggled. 

Anne looked at a flushing Isabelle and recoiled "He's nearly twenty years older than you and about to get married!" 

Richards looked at Anne "Little Harry is getting married? Why haven't I been issued an invitation?" 

The table started to argue, and Anne asked them politely to stop fighting.

Minutes later, she remembered what her mother said to her since she had conscience:

If someone won't accept your boundaries, leave until they reason, and if they do not, do not look back. 

She got up and left the table and went upstairs, to the bathroom, and started to listen to Mozart with AirPods at a high volume. Two songs later, Isabelle came in and asked her to hear her out. 

"Anne, I'm so sorry about that. It's just—ugh! He gets on my nerves and when he thinks I'm not listening, he starts insulting my father and demonizing him." 

Anne sighed "I wish I could be somewhere peaceful." 

Isabelle nodded and stood silent… until a scheming smile popped up "Maybe we can go somewhere peaceful." 

Anne frowned "Where?" 

Isabelle smirked "My dad's." 

She gasped "But—what about your mom?!" 

Isabelle shrugged "She always picks her stupid husband's side anyway and I can make her see that he is an arsehole and dump his ass if by escaping we show her that he's not good to anybody and boom! I'm rid of that creep!" 

"I—I don't want to upset her…" 

"Let me worry about my mom. Now, when everybody sleeps, pack silently your things and I'll take you to my dad's. He's been dying to meet you personally." 

She nodded after many minutes of persuasion and when the couple went to sleep—or at least saw all the lights off—they started to pack as silently as they could their things and sneaked out of the house by the garden and jumped off the fence. They walked for twenty minutes until they reached a posh cottage: it was like one of those houses her mom liked to photograph. She rang the bell three times before a disheveled Ernest Sinclaire opened the door and looked down on both girls and his eyes went out in surprise "Anne? Issy? Shouldn't you two be at Roselyn's? What are you doing here so late?" He rushed them both inside, protecting them from the cold, and called the maid for hot cocoa for them both and pinched the bridge of his nose "Isabelle, you better have a good explanation for this, young woman." 

"I have it, alright; Richards has been triggering poor Anne all day and being his completely disgusting self, ruining Anne's weekend. So we came here looking for peace and safety, especially for Anne." 

Ernest nodded and looked at Anne "Were you uncomfortable with Tristan? Don't worry, your secret's safe with me." 

She nodded "He was… I don't know how to say it, he just didn't respect my boundaries." 

His brow went down in rage "He's known for that, alright." Then, came back to his polite, sweet self "Do you really wish to stay here for the weekend?" 

She nodded shyly "If we don't bother you, sir." 

He gave her an unusual sweet smile "Of course not. But I'll have to call both your mothers before Richards tries to frame me from kidnapping kids. But please, show Anne to your rooms." 

Isabelle nodded enthusiastically and drove Anne to the lavish and pretty bedroom. 

Ernest shook his head. His daughter had the wild and untamed spirit of his mother and the deadly intelligence of her maternal uncle. He called Roselyn "Hey, just wanted to tell you that the girls are safe in my house." 

"But—why are they in your house?" 

"They came here by free will. Your husband made them uncomfortable and triggered and decided to come here." 

Roselyn sighed "Will you call Nicole for me? And please, make up an excuse, I don't wish to look bad in front of her." 

"I will. But you need to have a serious talk with Richards. His attitude is affecting not just our daughter, but everybody who wishes to come close to her." 

"I will. Thank you, Ernest." 

She hung up and he called Nicole. After four rings, she picked up. Her voice was hoarse with tiredness "Hello?" 

"Nicole? It's Ernest. I wanted to give you a heads up: your daughter is with Isabelle at my place. Roselyn had to rush somewhere because of work and Richards works at night. But don't worry, your girl is heading to bed as we speak. Is there anything I can do for her?" 

"I gave Roselyn a list of things Anne gets done at night before she goes to sleep. Read the night routine and do it before the clock strikes eleven, or else she'll pull an all-nighter." He nodded "And Ernest?" 

"Yes?" 

"Thank you. For taking in my daughter. Please tell her I send her an enormous bear hug." 

"I will. Good night, Nicole." 

He hung up and texted Roselyn for the list. 

At Nicole's house 

Hamid moved groggily and yawned "Who was calling you at this hour?" 

"Ernest. He had to bring the girls last minute to his house and made me know, but all is good." 

He hugged her bare waist and smiled "Good. That's nice of him." 

"It is." 

He kissed her cheek before whispering "If you're awake awake… maybe we can resume our activities…" 

Nicole giggled "Really? You're horny at ten?" 

He smirked, his eyes darkened "I am when such a breath-taking woman is in my bed… and naked." 

Tempting, but I have things to do in the morning. Now, go back to sleep." 

He pecked her on the lips "Yes, ma'am." 

The morning after… 

After completing her morning routine, she picked up her purse and walked to Hyde Park, where Ernest was already there, with Isabelle introducing Anne to some of her friends. Nicole waved at Anne and she waved back. She saluted Ernest and sat down with him at the bench "Did Anne give you much trouble last night?" 

"Not at all. She's a wonderful girl. I have no complaints with her. She's a delight to be with, and speaks better than kids her age." 

Nicole chuckled "I'm afraid she's a voracious reader like me and her grandfather. When she's not doing homework, she's reading some new books. She can already read books for 9th years." 

"She's an impressive kid. You raised her well." 

Nicole smiled at him "Thank you. Isabelle is a great kid too. A bit mischievous, but what kind of kid her age isn't?" 

He sighed "She'll be thirteen in three weeks and I'm at loss. I don't want to become the kind of father who stops loving his girl right because she's turning slowly into a woman…" 

She placed a comforting hand on his shoulder "Raising a teenager is never easy. But if I learned something by talking to some of Alaric's colleagues who have now grown daughters at university, is to be patient, understanding, open-minded, and trusting over your girl. Sometimes, she won't want her father. She'll want a friend, a willing ear." 

Ernest gave her a small, grateful smile "If I can raise my daughter half as good as you do yours, she'll turn out a wonderful woman." 

They looked at each other for a while, too long perhaps, and he was about to say something when Roselyn sat suddenly between them, not realizing the moment they had between them! Ernest sat straight and cleared his throat and Nicole placed her polite resting face "Ah, there you are! Thank you so much for looking out for them last night, Ernest, you're a star! We must prepare the girls for the spa day! You'll see, Nicole, you won't recognize your daughter after she leaves! My treat for last night's incident." 

"That's very sweet of you, Roselyn." 

"At what time do you wish me to deliver her to your doorstep?" 

"After dinner, please. I must prepare her for school on Sunday." 

"Awesome!" She spotted someone and gasped "Oh, Tracy! Wait for me! Ugh, I never liked delivering birthday invitations." She handed Nicole one "Here, we really hope you can be there!" 

Then, she raced off to the group of Momzillas and Ernest cleared his throat

"So…" 

"How about if we invite them to ice cream? My treat." 

"Please, let me pay my part. You'll invite me another time." 

They nodded and called out for their daughters. They both beamed at the idea and followed their parents to the ice-cream post. At some point, Ernest couldn't help but stare at Nicole, chatting animatedly with both girls and giggling. 

He was drawn to her, intrigued about her, and wishing to know more about her—she was unlike any other single mother he ever met. Her intelligence, wits, and sweetness made him find her alluring. 

He shook his head at these thoughts and joined the conversation. When the time for leaving the girls to Roselyn came, they both parted ways.

Nicole was picked up by who he presumed her boyfriend and he waved hello to Anne, who replied with a smile. He suddenly felt embarrassed for thinking of such things with a taken woman. 

From now on, he'd back off from her. Luckily, this mere infatuation would go away.