#halward pavus

[alinamghart]

Dorian studies n.6

"I'm never what you wanted, Father, or have you forgotten?"

Father and son, a never ending battle.

[mageknife]

the point of me doing all of that timeline nonsense is to talk about the letter from alexius to halward shortly after alexius takes dorian in. there are two primary takeaways i have from this and they both make me crazy. first:

He's rather despondent over the life's path you've charted for him—if I may speak frankly—and thus, I think a part of him sabotages all efforts to keep him on the straight and narrow, either to spite you or to punish himself.

this sentence is. it’s a lot. in knowing dorian for such a short time, alexius understands him far better than his parents ever have. (“I know my son.” What my father knows of me would barely fill a thimble.) dorian acts out because he’s miserable, he’s angry that he’ll never be what his parents want, angry at both them (for setting such unachievable expectations) and himself (for never being enough, for his inherent inability to be enough). alexius can see this so clearly. alexius genuinely cares for him. whether his parents at all care for the man he’s become or just for the man they wanted him to be is debatable.

and secondly, we have this sentence:

The boy had enough cheek, even in his inebriated state, to invite me to join him.

alexius tells halward that dorian propositioned him for sex. dorian is at this point, what, 17 or 18? this is likely the first evidence halward has that dorian likes men. alexius basically outs him. subtly, but it’s there. halward knew for a long time, or at least had a suspicion. but it was in private. only admitted in alexius’s correspondence.

in 9:37, when dorian is 26, he’s caught in bed with a lord’s son and essentially taken captive by his parents. he runs away a few months later, never to return.

below are two quotes from dorian during last resort of good men:

But what was the first thing you did when your precious heir refused to play pretend for the rest of his life? You tried to change me!

He was going to do a blood ritual. Alter my mind. Make me... acceptable. I found out. I left.

“the first thing you did.” this implies that halward only truly confronts dorian about his homosexuality and moves to act after the incident with lord abrexis’s son.

as dorian says in his sex scene:

Where I come from, anything between two men… it’s about pleasure. It’s accepted, but taken no further. You learn not to hope for more. You’d be foolish to.

maybe it would have been fine behind closed doors, but it’s been made extremely public. word has spread quickly among halward’s enemies. just look at this letter:

Halward: I only wanted what was best for you!

Dorian: You wanted the best for you! For your fucking legacy! Anything for that!

when dorian says this, he’s exactly right. halward might not understand dorian, but dorian understands him. halward knew dorian slept with men for 8, 9 years before this, thanks to alexius’s letter detailing how they met. it hasn’t been an issue before. but it’s only now that it could pose a threat to halward’s reputation that halward decides it has to change. he goes back on his word, his teachings against blood magic, to protect himself, his legacy, his image. it’s disgusting. appalling.

finally, i want to address this banter between cole and dorian:

Dorian: You think that if they love you, they should understand. They shouldn't want to hurt you.

Dorian: So you feel betrayed. You say things you can't ever take back.

Cole: “Get out. You are no son of mine.”

Dorian: Yes, like that.

Cole: He wishes he hadn't meant it.

world of thedas says dorian “escaped,” “fled.” even dorian says he “found out [and] left.” but this banter, given the above context, is elucidating. dorian didn’t sneak out in the middle of the night. he confronted halward. he stood his ground. he refused to let halward change him. he had hope, even if just a sliver of it, that halward would understand, would still love him, even if he wasn’t everything his father wanted.

and for staying true to who he was, he was given rejection. wholehearted rejection. halward said that dorian was not his son, and he meant it. if dorian couldn’t behave in a way that would uphold house pavus’s perfect legacy, if he couldn’t “put on a show, marry the girl, keep everything unsavory private and locked away,” then he couldn’t be a pavus.

dorian left having tried everything. having desperately pleaded with his father to still love him for who he was. but halward never truly loved dorian. he only loved the man he hoped dorian would become, the man he tried to force him to become by throwing money and disciplinary action and strict schools at the problem because he never truly cared about what dorian wanted, the man he was entirely willing to abandon his abandon his principles to use blood magic to change dorian into.

dorian was not halward’s son, because he fought against the life he was forced into since birth. dorian was not halward’s son, because he dared to put dorian before pavus.

[elvhenfaer]

30 Days of Dorian

Prompt One: The Fool

A depiction of Halward pulling Dorian’s strings as though he were his personal puppet.

@30daysofdorian

[dragonagecompanions]

Dorian reacting to a 6 year old inquisitor absolutely destroying his fathers ego? Like they basically tell his father that he failed as a parent and that Dorian is 1000×'s the man that he is?

(Probably an inquisitor closer to ten in age, for appropriate vocabulary.)

Wisdom from the mouth of babes.

It is perhaps the first time that both men of House Pavus have been rendered mute at the same time, but as their young Inquisitor extols his virtues Dorian cannot help but be gratified. How he managed to make such an impression on their young herald he has no idea, but would not trade their admiration for the world. No one save maevaris has ever come so passionately to their defense, and not even Magister Tilani had done to so...directly.

Halward Pavus was clearly not ready for this offended tirade, and if at first he was not willing to give credance to a child the inquisitors words cannot be denied. Dorian can see some of them strike true, and that is a gift that can never be repaid.

But he is also not going to let a child fight his battles (or make themselves a target, worse yet) and so the scion of House Pavus does not let them go on for long. It is easier, though, to return them back to the guards outside the tavern and speak to his father with their ringing endorsement still in his ears and heart.

-Mod Fereldone

[kudiikis]

Wheres the Halward Pavus context. I Want To FUCK HIM. WHERES MY HALWARD PAVUS CONTENT

[adoribullpavus]

i am finally done gatekeeping the most dorian pavus song i have ever heard.

honestly, it is insane to me that this song hasn't gone viral among dorian stans, but i blame it on the fact that not many dragon age fans listen to calum scott as much as i do.

i will acknowledge that calum's version is a cover and the original is out there somewhere, but after listening to both i just feel like calum's version encaptures dorian's character better.

the song is called "boys in the street" and is about a little boy who was shut out by his father for being gay.

remind you of anyone?

i shall link the song below and i recommend you all go and listen to it, but first i will share some of the lyrics and how i think they describe dorian's story perfectly.

"when i was younger, my daddy told me i would never, never amount to nothing special. he'd come at me from every angle. he'd say; "you're the last thing i wanted. the last thing i need. how am i going to answer when my friends tell me my son was kissing boys in the street?"

we all know halward had a problem with dorian's sexuality from a young age, probably even before dorian knew who he was himself. halward cares about keeping up appearances. having a gay son who refuses to hide who he is could ruin halward's reputation, which is why he would try so hard to make dorian see how wrong he is for being himself.

"tried to change me. say i'm embarassing my country. how could i do this to my family? don't want to grow up being lonely. he'd say; "we've worked for our money. we put you in school. is this how you repay us? do you think this is cool? my son, stop kissing boys in the street."

dorian says it himself:

and with tevinter's views on homosexuality, of course it makes dorian an embarrassment to his country. halward takes it as a personal offence against the pavus family for dorian to be gay, leading to dorian's ditching and living in loneliness for many years before finding the inquisition.

the rest of the song describes dorian's relationship with his dad later in life, after their reunion in "last resort of good men" and halward's assassination in trespasser, so i shall leave those verses for you guys to listen to yourselves.

i highly recommend this song if you love dorian as much as i do!!

[merrybandofmurderers]

“He taught me to hate blood magic. ‘The resort of the weak mind.’ Those are his words.”

Emperor

[meowsgirldrawing]

Grandpa Halward Pavus

Word Count- 1,821

Masterlist- Link

AO3- Link

Brivia laughs and screams playfully as Ms.Alarith, a younger servant girl, chases her around their extravagant garden, arms wide as her smile. 

They fly by the gardeners, one or two giving the girls a fond glance as they dig into the hearty soil and blooming flowers.

Alarith calls back a sorry but keeps her gaze on the girl ahead.

While the girls laugh and play freely in the sun filled area, everyone around them in high spirits, if not- then rather content ones. 

Dorian’s half surprised at this observation, honestly. 

Even his mother seems content this day, relaxed in her cooling spot on the patio, a long wineglass held high as she daintily sips. 

As long as she’s quieter. A sigh in his mind as his face remains neutral. His own glass gets pulled up, taking a tasty sip.

The neutral expression doesn’t last long,

“Hi, Papa!” Brivia calls out.

A smile quirks on his face, “Hello, darling.” 

She darts pass with the 12 year old on her trail, both filled with giggles-galore.

For the first time on the trip, his shoulders loosen their tenseness and replace them with relief at his daughter’s happy showing. A trip? Whatever for? Simple enough to explain actually. 

Sadly, his parents recently discovered news of his adopted daughter and so they sent on an eager invitation to find out more of this child. Like vultures, he hates so.

Evident of this-

“Where was she found, exactly?” His father.

He’s been getting questions nonstop upon their arrival. Thankfully- and extremely baffling- his father and mother heeded his warning on not speaking of this in front of Brivia. It may not be a big difference to them, but to Dorian- he’d rather speak without the possibility of his daughter turning upset at such confusing questions about her.

Nevertheless, he obliges as agreed upon. 

“In the half-destroyed house of an over-run village. She was the youngest survivor it seemed.” Dorian keeps the bites out of his lips. Ignorant to the cursing urge to do otherwise. “Fuliz found her with his little mercenary scouting party. He brought her ‘home’ and we ended up signing adoption papers 2 months after.” He shrugs, as if it was no big deal. No big deal of his little freak out to the possibility of having a child of his (technically-) own. No big deal that he had to have a big talk about children with his bestest friend, Bellatrix, while ignoring the urge to stare at her pregnant belly. 

Halward hums, “Does she know?”

“Of what?”

“Of her origins?”

His son turns a good brain nozzle, Halward drinks from his glass as he waits in the chair beside him.

“No. Of the village or where we found her? No. And while we haven’t had the actual talk with her, I’m very sure she already knows.” 

“Because she is an elf?”

I didn’t want to be that blunt. “Of course.” sighs Dorian. 

Brivia has never been truly disconnected from her culture. He knew very well the additional things when it came to adopting her. He let her stay with her aunts, Estel and Bellatrix at times, bought as many books as he could find on her elven culture. 

However, he’s seen the looks. He’s noticed the touching of his ear more than usual when held in his grasp. How she stares at herself in the mirror, trailing the tip of her ears before dragging her hand down at his noticed presence. She’s curious, and she’ll be asking soon, he’s sure of it.

His father pauses. Dorian watches him watch his daughter. He’s not sure what to make of the look, to be honest. 

Brivia giggles, side-stepping Alarith then booking it the opposite way. A gape pulls on Alarith’s face before a laugh, soon going after the child again. 

Halward’s brow deepens. “People might not enjoy the idea, Dorian.”

Dorian offers a light shrug instead, reaching over and grasping up his drink again. His wedding ring clinks softly on the side as he lifts it to his lips.

“I know.” Answers Dorian.

“It doesn’t concern you.” Years before, it might have been a question. A stare in dis-belief. But now, it’s a statement with a light sigh. Quite honestly near amused. Nearly. “Not even in the slightest.”

“And why should it? As long as that little one is happy, “ He flicks his hands, a quiet moment passing as Brivia finally gets caught by the older girl; her little body getting pulled up and into a giddy embrace. “Then no closed-minded noble can dare damage my own decision making.”

“Now, I’m not saying I agree with them, but, you understand how the Magisterium will treat her, yes?” 

“I’m working on that.” Sips Dorian, swallowing thickly.

Halward’s brow tilts, “And that’s just going to change in say, 13 years? When she’s legally old enough to be the Heir to anything?”

This is a conversion he’s had with himself numerous times, more so when Brivia was just months old. So it’s only that grace that reels the more challenging tone Dorian wanted for at first, “ Well, what do you want me to say? The papers have been signed, Brivia is too engrossed here to leave willingly, and even then, Fuliz’s is near constantly on the move. The best place to keep Brivia safe and happy is here, with me.” 

Halward needs to send him just one glance, pure in discontentment and Dorian is rubbing the space in between his brows, “Apologies,” He sighs heavily, “I just..I can’t-”

“Dorian.” He looks up, ready for a ‘calm’ tone of his father telling him to calm down, when Halward is noticeably looking at something else. 

Brivia comes up, keeping something behind her back as a peachy grin beams at both men. Alarith stays on the lines, a few feet behind with an equally gentle grin and hands folded in front of her, waiting. 

Brivia’s day dress sways with her as she announces proudly, “I got a gift for you!”

Dorian’s smile breaks out in seconds. Not that it was hidden much before. “Oh?” 

He inquires, “And what might that be? Hm?”

She giggles, in seconds pulling out a shiny, clearly previously dirt surrounded, rock. And at closer inspection, getting safely handed to him when leaned forward, it’s not an ordinary rock.

Knowing his father too long, Halward is hiding his grimace, so as to not upset Brivia, but Dorian can still feel his stare as he dusts away the dirt and grime. Years of fighting in swamps and dust filled areas overrode the absolute need noble need for cleanliness. 

As the color becomes clear, both his and Brivia’s grin widen. Brivia’s more because of his than the gem. 

“What’s this, Brivia?”

“It’s a…a..” Her face turns knotted, burning a hole into the gem, “I can’t remember the name.”

“It’s a sapphire.” Dorian doesn’t spin his head around, he simply eyes Halward in the corner of his peripheral. 

Brivia’s eyes light aflame, “Oh yeah! A saphie!”

Dorian’s chuckle has her bouncing in excitement. “It’s beautiful, my dear.” He comments as he slides the stone onto the side table and offers him her palm. “Thank you!” 

She takes his hand, letting him pull her into a hug, “Of course, papa!” 

As she places a tiny peck to his cheek, him doing the same to her head as he lets go, she’s off with Alarith once more. By the older child’s nods and small comments returned, he can see Brivia’s excitement. All for giving him a pretty gem. 

The two skip off as children do, hand in hand with laughter filling the air like it never left. 

He settles back in his chair, staring at the stone with a gentle smile in place. 

“It must’ve fallen from some jewelry.” Halward sips idly. He’s inclined to agree. Odd place but given the expensive appeal, could be. Doesn’t make the gift any less valuable in his opinion. Gems are still beautiful gems, no matter where they end up.

“She likes them and rocks. She likes their colors.” His finger taces the edge before hooking together with the drink. “It must be her Aunt Estel and Vivienne’s doing. The two are very big on giving her outfits every time they see her.”

Halward hums thoughtfully. 

Then he surprises him more than he has in this trip.

“I apologize in my comment earlier, I see how much you care for this girl, no matter the outside’s opinion it seems.” Both look at each other. It took years for them to properly talk again without the need for politics or his position as heir involved. Their relationship is still rocky, as is his with his mother. But it’s getting better, if his and his daughter’s presence at their manor has anything to say about it.

Which must be the reason Halward continues with his next words. “I know..I know I’ve never been the best father. There's nothing I can truly say to fix that.” He sees his son opening his mouth and raises a low palm, asking for a moment. Dorian, with an unfamiliar feeling, does so reluctantly. “But..I hope I can still be considered a grandfather to Brivia if nothing else.”

He can feel his eyes widening, his mouth parts. Nothing comes out. 

He looks to the girl getting spooked by a spider, which Alarith is laughing at, and back to his father. 

“What makes you think I’d rob that choice from Brivia?”

Shrugging, Halward looks at his glass, swirling it. “I wouldn’t blame you if you told her to call us otherwise.”

“Father.” It takes a second but Halward does look at him, head still a tad low, “Brivia..” He clears his throat. “I don’t plan to tell Brivia of our past. That is between you, mother, and I and that’s it. If she were to find out, it would be from some blabbering noble who can’t keep their nose out of other’s nonsense. Even then, it’s only her choice.” He scoffs but it’s light. No real malice. 

“Besides, Brivia isn’t that way. I believe she would be hurt to some degree, but I don’t think she’ll act without reason.” His last words are said while looking Halward straight through the eye, “If she calls you and mother her grandparents, I’ll do nothing on it.”

Halward is silent, then nods. Dorian looks away before anything else.

Funny thing he did, he hears through the idea of comedic timing, “GRANDMA!”

His mother seems surprised, abruptly stopping herself mid-sip to turn at Brivia’s call. The girl runs up and Dorian can see what’s in her hands.

“She has another stone.” Halward comments.

“It’s an actual stone this time.” Dorian’s eyes squint.

“Your mother is going to be so confused.”

“Brivia does that to people.”

Halward sighs, “Like father, like daughter then.” Wine nearly drips as Dorian has to stop himself from bursting out in laughter at that.

[cool-kink-sis]

Did Fenris kill Dorian's dad??

No idea if it was covered in Trespasser, if it was said who dunnit or anything but it would very cool if Fenris did do it.

[midnightprelude]

Major Arcana: Heirophant

Written by @oftachancer and I for the @30daysofdorian event!

Masterpost | Next

The salt air raised goosebumps on his arms despite the bright afternoon sun. A storm brewing on the horizon, darkening the usually glimmering Nocen. A summer storm. 

“Are you listening to me, Dorian?”

He drew his attention back from the sea and met his father’s stern gaze, then glanced down at the scroll in his lap. What had he been talking about? Dorian scanned the script: a list of names and birthplaces and- “Yes, sir.”

“Very well,” Halward peered at him with a slight smirk that clearly spoke to the fact he disbelieved him. “Thucian the Gold.”

“Killed his brother in a duel, negotiated the purchase of the sapphire mines in Marothius, married Dorinne Samelser. Sired six children, five girls and Savander the Wise.”

Halward hummed thoughtfully. “…very well.”

Dorian swelled with the praise, his shoulders relaxing and sinking back. Not only praise, but the subtle shift of his father’s lips that was so very close to a smile. 

“Now tell me what you were thinking about.”

Dorian ducked his head, plucking at the stray black ribbon dangling from the baton. “The storm.”

Halward glanced out towards the sea. “…Do you still think of the squall on the ship?” 

Waves crashing over the bow, soaking the deck, rushing down into the cabins inside. Books floating in sea water. Dorian woke from nightmares of it tasting bile on the back of his tongue. “…sometimes,” he replied carefully. 

“No matter how strong we become or how much we prepare, nature can always undermine us. It is an important lesson, Dorian; that is all. Take it as such and move on from it.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Fear will only make you weak.”

Dorian nodded, winding the ribbon around his thumb. “Yes, Pater. A Pavus is never weak.” His words earned an actual smile, pride warming his father’s eyes.

“Just so, my son. We cannot afford to be. You cannot.”

“I won’t. I promise.”

“I know you won’t.”

“…but you protected us during the storm,” Dorian said softly, remembering watching the wardrobe bob once then sink below the waves. “You weren’t afraid because you knew you could keep us safe.”

“That is not why,” his father disagreed with a slight shake of his head. “What I knew was that I could not fail this family. Family comes first, Dorian, always. It is my duty and my privilege to protect our name and line. One day, it will be yours. And from that purpose, you will learn that absolutely anything is within your power.”

“I won’t fail you,” Dorian murmured, rolling up the scroll. “I remember the rest. Do you want me to recite a branch?”

“It is not your memory that worries me, Dorian,” he chuckled wryly. “It is your attention. The storm is out there. We are here.” He rested his hand on Dorian’s shoulder. Broad and strong, a rare weight. “You have many years ahead of you of listening to things you think you already know. You must seek gems out of the scattering of stones. There is always something new to be learned and no teacher will want a dismissive student.” 

Dorian peered up at his father, smiling at the contact and letting the words wash over him like so many waves. “If I listen, can we stay and watch it come in?” An idea came to him suddenly, nearly making him vibrate with excitement. “Will you teach me to catch lightning? I don’t want to be afraid anymore.”

“Purpose will help you to prevail over fear,” Halward Pavus told him, steady and patient. “But I will tell you something that none of your teachers will: spells are an illusion. How one mage has accomplished a task before you is only one way of succeeding. Don’t let others constrain you. Finding your own path to the goal will make you unstoppable.” He bowed his head, thinking. “I will teach you to catch lightning, in this way: fetch the chessboard. We will play until the rain begins.”

[alinamghart]

Dorian drawings all in one place.

(I love this man)

[hamnskiftning]

DAI: Halward Pavus

[inquisitorismone]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Dragon Age: Inquisition Rating: Mature Characters: Dorian Pavus, Halward Pavus, Aquinea Thalrassian, Livia Herathinos, Rilienus (Dragon Age), Felix Alexius, Gereon Alexius Additional Tags: Dorian Pavus Backstory, Tevinter Imperium (Dragon Age), Tevinter Culture & Customs (Dragon Age), Slavery, Halward Pavus' A+ Parenting, Circle of Magi Culture & Customs (Dragon Age), Blood Magic (Dragon Age), The Fade (Dragon Age), The Veil (Dragon Age), Sexual Content, (including snorting lyrium off a templar's dick) Summary:

In his life, Dorian has come to the conclusion that love is indistinguishable in all ways from the sensation of a hand at your throat.

A magister's son can get away with many things, but he cannot get away with all things all the time. Consequences catch up with Dorian in adolescence, and keep catching up with him over and over for a decade.

Incidents in Dorian's life from the age of 16 leading up to the aborted blood ritual. Or, how Dorian Pavus was thrown out of 8 Circles in as many years.

[kudiikis]

This site needs more hlaward pavus and frank spencer content

[mageknife]

Cole: His face in the stands, watching as I pass the test. So proud there's tears in his eyes.

Cole: Anything to make him happy, anything.

Cole: Why isn't that true anymore?

/

Dorian: He says we’re alike. Too much pride. Once I would have been overjoyed to hear him say that. Now I’m not certain.

/

Halward: This is not what I wanted.

Dorian: I'm never what you wanted, Father, or had you forgotten?

/

Nightmare: Greetings, Dorian… It is Dorian, isn’t it? For a moment, I mistook you for your father.

[midnightprelude]

Major Arcana: Magician, Reversed

Written by @oftachancer and I for the @30daysofdorian event!

Masterpost | First | Previous | Next

CW: conversion therapy (aftermath); successful blood magic ritual; recovering from trauma; adopted children; sexual dysfunction; BLOOD MAGIC RITUAL, THIS IS THE ONE, FOLKS. Skip if you need to, it was hard for me to write.

The white domed ceiling reflected red. Dorian knew this room. His father’s work room. White marble seamlessly inlaid, forming nearly imperceptible patterns across the walls and the floor and the ceiling, an orb of white on white. Only the ceiling looked red. Pink. Orange. Red. Shifting lights altered the intensity of the colors. 

He tried to move, but there were straps around his wrists, his arms, his thighs, his torso. Pinned. Grasped. 

“Don’t-“ Halward’s voice reached him as though from a great distance.

“The blood must be joined,” a quiet voice insisted. Unfamiliar. Tevene. Female. 

Dorian felt pressure at his left arm, then a sharp ache and the rush of heat across his skin. “Pater,” he managed to croak. He felt dizzy, the room slowly spinning around him. “Please-“

“You said he wouldn’t wake up,” his father hissed.

“It is all one, my lord. Part of the process.” 

Dorian groaned as another thin line was sliced into his thigh and the woman began to chant gutturally. 

Dorian pulled at his bindings, searched for the power that had always come so easily to him, but it was gone. Locked away. Suppressed.

“Pater!” Dorian shouted, panicked, voice echoing through the room, the reverberations joining her chant. “Halward. Look at me. Look at-“ Another slice, a shallow one traveling from his chest, down to his hips. He gasped, panting, as runes painted themself on his skin, in his own blood and that of- Floating from some other corner of the room. “Look at what you’re- Look me in the bloody eyes, father.”

“I will. Soon enough.” His voice in darkness. The coward. His whole life, he’d looked up to this man. His whole life, he’d tried to please him, to prove to him- “You will thank me. Eventually.”

A last resort. What else did Halward have left to lose? His son meant nothing to him. Nothing. Less than nothing. A continual stain. A pestilence. A problem, to be fixed- to be-

The blade sliced into one palm, then the other, Dorian’s vision going red, runes dancing in the air.

“I will hate you,” Dorian hissed, pulling desperately at his bindings. “I will denounce you. I will take your damned legacy and burn it to the ground. I am not your son any longer.”

“You will be,” Halward told him quietly. His face swam into view, dark circles and pinched eyes. “It is your legacy, too. You’ll understand.”

Dorian pulled as hard as he could, one of the chains bending, a sharp snap in his wrist sending another wave of agony through him. He fought through it, feeling as though he might faint, and spat in his father’s face before the world, his mind, was consumed by blood.