#doyou know wgat i’m saying. there’s so much here
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Cole: His face in the stands, watching as I pass the test. So proud there's tears in his eyes.
Cole: Anything to make him happy, anything.
Cole: Why isn't that true anymore?
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Dorian: He says we’re alike. Too much pride. Once I would have been overjoyed to hear him say that. Now I’m not certain.
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Halward: This is not what I wanted.
Dorian: I'm never what you wanted, Father, or had you forgotten?
/
Nightmare: Greetings, Dorian… It is Dorian, isn’t it? For a moment, I mistook you for your father.
#nightmare comparing him to his father is crazy. because like#i don’t think dorian is even aware that he compares himself to halward#he always tries to insist that halward is better than he probably actually is. ‘he’s a good man deep down’ etc#and it’s entangled with his own worries about whether he’s a good person. always trying to do the right thing. to be the good tevinter#to help others wherever he can and apologize for his missteps and learn from experiences he doesn’t understand#all things that halward never does. he doesn’t apologize to dorian. he doesn’t try to change anything in tevinter. and i think dorian knows#that halward is not as good of a person as he’s tried to convince himself that he is. and that scares him#because he works so hard to be good. but what if it’s not enough? what if he’s just lying to himself like he does about his father?#he so desperately wants to be different than halward. wants to be better. and accepting that halward is just like all the other magisters#really opens up the fear of him being just like them too. which is so mortifying that he can’t face it#nightmare yanks it out from the depths of his soul. you could turn out just like him. how are you different? what makes you better?#his greatest fear is temptation. he fears giving in to the easier option. he fears that he won’t be strong enough to stick to his principle#because taking the path of least resistance just leaves things as they are. is halward really a good man if he never takes the hard road?#‘he taught me principle is important.’ but he was a hypocrite. he betrayed his principles because it was easier#than doing the right thing. and dorian is terrified more than anything else that he’ll follow in halward’s footsteps#argh.#doyou know wgat i’m saying. there’s so much here#dorian pavus#eliasposts
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