#halloween soap is just a big freak

[deargaz]

18+! cw - cnc, f!reader. (1.2k) this is just filth honestly

it was a peaceful night, the lights of your house shut so no one could disturb you on this halloween. you had no plans, just wanting to laze around on the bed, watching some horror classics. a perfect night.

you hadn’t noticed that the window of your bedroom was open, a gentle breeze causing the curtain to rustle a bit, bringing your attention to it. well, you could just fix it later, yeah?

your body tensed up at some loud thud outside the window, and before you could get up and check the source of the noise, someone stepped in. a big man with a red skull mask that seemed to glisten a bit due to the moonlight, slightly illuminating his features. you couldn’t really make out most of him, only that he was big. fear threatened to spill out of your throat, an unsettling nausea filling you up, catching a glimpse of the butcher knife he was holding.

“w-what the fuck?!” you shrieked out before you could control yourself, hand quickly grabbing one of your pillows and throwing it at him instinctively. he was swift to grab it, a muffled deep chuckle coming from behind the mask.

“tsk tsk, ye daft lass. no pillow’s gonna hurt me.” his voice was condescending, heavy steps leading him towards your bed where your trembling body was sitting.

“aw, look at ye. all shaky.” he cooed, and from this distance, you could get a better glimpse of him, burly arms crossed. was that a mohawk?

“who the hell are you?” it was difficult to keep your voice steady, not when your mind was a mess. you had seen this exact scene in movies dozens of times, so why was it that your body was refusing to act? you were completely frozen, breathing growing ragged. “are you going to hurt me…?” this time your words tumbled out weaker, fingers harshly clutching onto the sheets underneath.

for a moment, heavy silence lingered in the air before he shook his head, placing the butcher knife on your night stand, a hand reaching out to touch your face, causing you to flinch at the feeling of the cool glove he was wearing grazing against your cheek. “nah. not into hurtin’ pretty things like yerself. i got… other plans for ye.”

with practiced moves, he spun you over on your stomach, eliciting a cry from your mouth at the unfamiliar weight of his hand keeping your head pressed down against your pillow, the other hand forcefully pulling down your shorts.

“not wearin’ panties? fuckin’ filthy.” the masked man spat, a hand roughly landing against your ass, your body helplessly squirming, not having any strength to fight back. “ah, fuck me.” he groaned behind his mask, gloved fingers lightly grazing against your folds that were already soaking. “ye get off on shite like this?” his words were clearly mocking as he laughed.

“n-no!” you couldn’t help but exclaim, unable to shake your head due to his hard grip, his gloved fingers soon tangling into your hair so he could tug onto your hair, enjoying the pained noises you were making.

“no worries, hen. s’all goin’ to feel real good soon.” with that, he roughly thrusted a finger inside of your cunt, your walls instantly tightening around the digit at the sudden intrusion. he clicked his tongue, not giving you any time to react or relax, shoving another in as he begin to thrust his fingers in and out of your cunt, with no intention to give you any pleasure. it was all for his own satisfaction, seeing his fingers swallowed by your cunt and coming out with his gloves’ leather wet. fuck, should he even watch this when he’s done with you? most likely not.

it was too much, feeling as if your poor pussy was all on fire, unable to handle two thick fingers fucking you up, tears streaming down your heated cheeks. you could hear blood pumping in your ears, adrenaline coursing within you.

it was all just too much, and you were fully useless at the moment.

his other hand left your head, and you soon heard the sound of a belt buckling behind you, your head weakly turning behind to catch the sight of him pulling his cock out of his jeans. fuck. it was thick, and you were mourning yourself already. that thing could, and will, pierce you apart, impaling you as if you would be some martyr sooner or later.

“looks like ye’re plenty ready.” he huffed, impatient as he pulled his fingers out, your cunt suddenly feeling oddly empty, clenching around nothing. a displeased whine left your lips that was soon replaced with a loud gasp once you felt the tip of his cock pressing against your drooling hole, slowly begin to stretch your walls out as he slid in, a grunt leaving his lips.

“fuck, relax. gonna fuckin’ destory ma cock.” as if he wasn’t already destroying you. “next time, maybe learn not to open yer windows, unless you were already askin’ for it.”

your eyes rolled back, saliva sliding down your parted lips as you shakily moaned at every forceful thrust of his cock into you, unable to admit that he was hitting all the sweet spots inside you, pain shooting in your back while your head stayed buried into the softness of your pillow. his hands were gripping your hips tightly, as if aching to bruise you up, and you were sure that he’d be successful in that.

“made just f’me. my fuckin’ pussy, can’t believe didn’t find ye earlier.” he rambled on, ramming into your walls. soon, a hand slid in between your legs, fingers beginning to roughly toy with your sensitive clit, causing your body to jolt and try to pull away, his actions not ceasing.

it was all inevitable, and before you knew it, you were cumming all over his cock, body convulsing at the sheer strength of the orgasm that just washed over you, quiet muffled sobs leaving you.

his thrusts grew erratic and sloppy, an annoyed moan leaving him. he sure as hell was loud. it was clear that he didn’t want to pull out, though he still did, his right hand giving his aching cock a few more strokes until his warm cum was spilling on your back, some landing on your ass, a relieved sigh leaving his lips.

“fuckin’ beautiful.” he hissed, gloved fingers beginning to messily smear his cum onto your skin. he was writing something, but you could only make out a ‘S’ before your body collapsed onto the mattress, panting softly.

soon removing his red mask, johnny’s arms gently scooped you up, pressing a soft kiss against your tear-stained kiss. “did i go too far, bonnie?” he asked, a bit concerned even if you didn’t say your safe word, hastily removing his gloves so he could gently brush apart the hair that was clinging against your skin due to sweat.

“mmh, no…” your voice came out slurred, a dopey smile adorning your lips. johnny sighed in relief, pressing an affectionate kiss on your nose.

“y’know, it doesn’t hafta be halloween for ye to propose this idea.” he snickered, to which you tiredly whined.

“suits this day better…”

“whatever ye say. let’s get ye cleaned up.”

[ohbo-ohno]

Horror movie obsession goes brrrrr

One can imagine a group of typical annoying young adults drinking, getting high and having sex in the forest near Ghost and Soap cabin. And it would be alright, just have to ignore one another but nooo, the Team(TM) had to be annoying and obnoxious. Maybe seeing Soap becore they got in the forest, and they are very demeaning and generally rude.

Except for Reader!! She is nice, apologizing for everyone's behavior and tries to soothe the conflict. Soap sees a girl with good manners and pops a boner immediately. She is so contrasting with her friends, too soft for that company but too nice to tell them no!! Soap had to save her, poor girl is going to contract all possible STDs from her friends!! So obvious answer is to gut her friend group! Basically like in the House of Wax but in the forest. The only thing waxed here is Johnny(kill me)

Simon is literally wearing a slasher-worthy mask already, and they have amazing military experience so killing a bunch of drunk 20-something won't be hard. And they get to fuck our girl primal style and then to drag her back in the cabin. Now she doesn't have to pretend to like those annoying pricks!! Ghoap lives for the contrast between her and them even if they have to lock her up in the creepy bloody basement for a few nights :/ if she is nice, they can bring her blankets!!

Or!! Reader is as much annoying brat as everyone else and they have to teach her a lesson! This is their forest, she can't just go there and be slutty, it's their job!

🎷🐛

happy halloween to ME!

ghost and soap torturing and murdering all your "friends" and then locking you up in the bloody basement hooooo boy. they clear out the corpses so you don't have to deal with the stench but can you imagine how terrified you'd be?

when they're ready for you johnny comes down first, and he coos and tries to comfort you but you're just scared out of your fucking mind. can't help pushing away from him, flinching and hiding your face in your shoulder while you sob. you don't trust him, don't trust when he says he's not gonna hurt you. eventually ghost has to drag you up the stairs kicking and screaming, rolls his eyes and calls you dramatic

and johnny wants you to thank them. who knows what trouble those jackasses would've gotten you into, what diseases you could've caught? you should be grateful he and simon took care of the risk, saw you and knew you were good and reacted accordingly. and you're still thinking you're going to die, so maybe you do thank him, in a shaky voice while biting back sobs. johnny just turns to ghost, big ol smile on his face, and says see? knew she was a good one.

eventually you can't pretend anymore, you freak out and scream in their faces, call them every name in the book and try your best to run. they both get this flat look on their faces - johnny's disappointed, it makes you want to scream even louder. they drag you down to the basement, lock you in the dark space and say you can come back out when you learn to behave again. maybe simon threatens to teach you your manners the same way he taught your friends :/

they leave you down there for days. the door only opens for one of them to drop a tray of food and a bottle of water on the top step, never stays open long enough for you to actually have a chance at getting out. they leave you a bucket, one blanket, and nothing else.

there's a day where you don't drag yourself up on hands and knees to reach the food, instead staying curled up in the corner and shivering. you wake up to johnny crouched above you, a concerned look on his face as he strokes down your naked side. he says you ready to behave now, bonnie? and you nearly launch yourself at him, blubber and beg and wrap your arms around his neck, determined to never let him leave you locked up here again.

that's the first night you share a bed with them <3

also this version of ghoap 1000% let you escape consistently so they can hunt you down and fuck you in the dirt.

[supernova2205]

Shadows and Screams: A 141 Halloween

Summary: The usually intense Task Force 141 team finds themselves in a night of unexpected scares and laughs as you lead them through a haunted maze set up for Halloween. With creepy sounds, hidden pranks, and even a mysterious figure lurking in the shadows, the night turns into a playful but eerie experience. Even the stoic Ghost can’t resist joining in on the fun, sharing a rare smile that makes the Halloween night one to remember.

Hiii guys I hope you enjoy this spooookyyy fic happy Halloween 👻👻

The barracks had never looked like this before. The usual utilitarian gray walls were transformed with string lights shaped like tiny skulls, flickering in ghostly patterns, and fake cobwebs draped in every corner. A plastic jack-o’-lantern sat on a table piled high with candy, and Halloween-themed music played softly from a speaker in the corner. It was strange seeing this shift from the usual intensity of Task Force 141’s headquarters to something more… festive.

Ghost, the usually stoic and somewhat terrifying lieutenant, was less than impressed. He tugged at his mask, which had a single, poorly taped paper pumpkin on one side.

“Remind me why I’m wearing this again?” Ghost grumbled as you handed him a small bag of candy corn.

“Because it’s Halloween!” you replied, giving him a playful nudge. “Just have some fun for once!”

Price, who had donned a pair of plastic vampire teeth that were too small for his mouth, chuckled. “Come on, Simon. It’s good for morale. Besides, who doesn’t love Halloween?”

Soap, however, was all in. He had managed to find an old zombie costume from the prop closet, complete with a mangled shirt and face paint. “It’s tradition! Halloween’s the one time a year we get to have a bit of fun and scare each other, yeah?”

Gaz snickered, adjusting his plastic devil horns. “Just make sure no one has any actual heart attacks. I don’t fancy having to do CPR tonight.”

You were tasked with organizing the night’s activities, and you had a devilish plan up your sleeve. Knowing Ghost was a bit skeptical about the whole celebration, you’d secretly arranged for a “haunted maze” in the training grounds. It wasn’t much—just a few dark corridors and some creepy sound effects. But you’d enlisted Soap and Gaz to hide and jump out at certain points.

As you led the team toward the “haunted maze,�� Soap looked back with a gleam of mischief in his eyes. “So, who’s gonna scream first, eh?”

Price smirked, glancing at Ghost. “My money’s on the big man here.”

Ghost shot him a glare that would’ve scared a ghost away. “Not a chance, Captain.”

You grinned, leading the way through the darkened hallways of the base, where dim lights and echoes created the perfect spooky atmosphere. “Alright, rules are simple: stick together and try not to freak out. And remember, it’s all in good fun.”

Gaz raised an eyebrow. “Are you talking to us or yourself?”

“Both!” you laughed, genuinely a little nervous but eager for the thrill. You’d crafted some decent scares, and even you weren’t sure you’d avoid jumping.

As you walked, a sudden, loud bang echoed from somewhere up ahead, making everyone freeze. Gaz chuckled nervously. “Nice try, but it’s gonna take more than that to—”

Out of nowhere, Soap, dressed like a particularly convincing zombie, leaped out, shrieking in a disturbingly high pitch. Gaz yelped, jumping back, and you couldn’t help but burst out laughing as he tried to regain his composure.

“Bloody hell, Soap!” Gaz clutched his chest, trying to laugh it off. “I swear you’re gonna give me a heart attack one day.”

Price grinned, clearly entertained. Even Ghost, while keeping his usual stoic stance, seemed to relax a bit. However, you noticed his eyes darting to every shadow, just a little on edge.

You continued on, navigating through twists and turns, occasionally lit by flickering candles. As you reached a particularly dark corridor, a faint wailing sound started up—a recording you had set to play from hidden speakers. The wails grew louder and louder, filling the empty space, echoing in your ears. You felt a shiver run down your spine and noticed Soap, who had known about the maze, seemed genuinely creeped out.

Suddenly, a loud clanging came from behind, and all of you spun around to see a figure in the shadows—a strange, tall, cloaked figure with a scythe. None of you had planned for this. You glanced at your team, who all looked equally confused. Price whispered, “This isn’t part of the maze, is it?”

You shook your head, a little freaked out now. “No… it’s not.”

The figure stepped closer, and you could hear the slow, rhythmic thud of its boots against the ground. Your heart pounded as it moved closer, a low growl emanating from it. Without missing a beat, Ghost stepped forward, muttering, “Alright, who’s the idiot trying to scare us?”

When no answer came, Ghost whipped out his flashlight and shone it directly at the figure’s face. But there was… nothing. Just empty darkness where a face should have been.

“What in the world…” Gaz muttered, gripping his sidearm, ready for whatever was coming.

The figure suddenly lunged forward, but Ghost, true to his name, didn’t flinch. He held his ground, his voice steady. “Stand down,” he barked, but the figure kept moving.

Your breath caught as it reached out a skeletal hand toward you. But just as it was about to touch you, Soap tackled it to the ground, only to shout, “It’s fake! It’s just some guy in a suit!”

The figure groaned as Soap ripped off a mask to reveal a very embarrassed-looking rookie who had apparently been sent to join the prank. “Did I get you guys?” he asked, coughing and struggling under Soap’s grip.

Everyone burst out laughing, the tension finally breaking. Even Ghost let out a rare chuckle, shaking his head. “You got me, alright.”

Price pulled the rookie to his feet, clapping him on the back. “Well done, lad. Didn’t see that one coming.”

After that, the night continued with more laughs, scares, and candy, and you could see even Ghost had started to relax. At one point, he nudged you and handed you a small chocolate bar. “Thanks for putting this together,” he said quietly, his eyes softening just a bit behind his mask. “It’s… good to have a break sometimes.”

Your heart skipped a beat as you accepted the candy, grinning up at him. “Glad you’re finally getting into the spirit.”

By the end of the night, the haunted maze was forgotten, and the team gathered around a bonfire outside, sharing ghost stories and laughing together under the Halloween night sky. Ghost even removed his mask—just for a moment—to take a sip of hot chocolate, his face illuminated by the orange glow of the fire. You managed to catch a quick glimpse of his smirk before he pulled the mask back down, hiding his expression.

But even in the dark, you could tell he was smiling.

[shounengirlart]

Random bits and pieces of info about Wi and Task Force 141 popped up in my head ~

Headcanon Task Force 141 - Price, Gaz, Soap, Ghost, Konig, Witch (and Kate, Nik, Farah etc.)

Their ages - Price - 42, Gaz - 29, Soap - 27, Ghost - 36, Konig - 34, Witch - 30

Her call sign 'Witch' came from Ghost's phrase when she was first introduced to the team. Kate was introducing her to the Task Force and Ghost said, "Well, now we've got a little tech witch..." 'Witch' cheekily slapped(!) Ghost on the arse (they've known each other for literally minutes, this woman doesn't know what fear is). Seeing that reaction, it was picked up by Soap and Konig, and from that moment on, everyone just calls her that.

Price and Witch - tired dad and noisy kid. Price often refers to Wi as 'kid', which initially freaks her out because she's not the youngest, but then she just starts calling Price an old man.

Watching dumb memes with Soap and Gaz.

With Soap singing pop songs to the whole base.

Gaz is interested in her work and they talk about it a lot.

When she has nothing to do, she hangs out with Nik in the helicopter hangar, they are besties.

Old friends with Kate. Worked together long before Task Force.

Adores Farah, she's like a sister to her.

Konig says that Witch and Ghost are very similar when it comes to missions and other work. They literally act the same and look at everyone with that fuck-off look.

Witch hates paperwork, like reports for Kate and stuff like that. But she loves getting, cracking and tweaking all the electronics the team has. Ghost and Konig wouldn't let her touch their equipment for a long time.

Witch has her own workshop on the base where she hides like a little gremlin. Yeah, she and Ghost and Konig fucked there. Yeah, more than they should have.

Witch is secretly trying to learn German so she can understand Konig better.

When she speaks emotionally, she often swears in Russian. Konig and Ghost laugh at her because she looks like a cute little mouse and sounds like Nik when he is angry.

Konig reads a lot of history books and often retells them to Wi and Ghost. They love listening to his stories, Konig is a good storyteller, but they both fall asleep quickly.

The three of them have a big house on the outskirts of London. They had to order the biggest bed they could find. They only want to sleep together, no other way.

Witch and Konig are very tactile (Konig is a bit shy about touching people because of his rough hands). They constantly exchange small touches, hugs and kisses between themselves and Ghost.

Even when they weren't in a relationship, both men were constantly touching the Witch. They both say it's because she looks like a marshmallow.

Konig likes to touch Wi's cheeks. He constantly touches, kisses and pinches them.

Ghost likes to ruffle her hair and kiss the top of her head.

They both LOVES when the Wi hugs them.

aaand smol silly one

Ghost, Witch and Konig don't dress up for Halloween, well, because…. they're already ghost, witch and konig(king). (sorry, I'm laughing more than I should)

[sstormyskyess]

Spooky Season

author's note: happy halloween fellas! hope that your halloweens are filled with candy and fun costumes just like the boys here!

cw: just fluff

word count: 1300+

TF 141 x GN!Reader

Simon “Ghost” Riley [costume parties]

♡ Ghost loves dressing up in a fun costume every year because it lets him both take part in the festivities while also keeping his comfortable sense of anonymity.

♡ Even if it's just a face of nicely done make-up you decorated his face with, just having anything covering him up keeps him feeling secure. It’s only a bonus to watch your cute little focused face as you’re applying the make-up, telling him to quit smiling so much so you can get everything lined up properly.

You have a smile on your face when you show Simon the costume you bought for him. A Frankenstein’s monster costume—in the largest size, of course—to match with your mad doctor costume. He took it from your hands with a chuckle. “How long did it take you to find this?” You laugh and set down your own costume on the bed. “An hour or so. You’re too big for your own good.”

Soon enough, you have his make-up done just right and his outfit straightened out just so. Then, you’re on your way to the party that Laswell and her wife were holding. “Love, I’m trying to drive.” He scolds you when your finger comes up to brush at his face and clean up some of your handiwork that had gotten smudged at some point. “You have to look perfect! Just gimme a sec…”

Once you get to the party, you immediately start getting compliments on your costumes and your face beams with pride, putting a little smile on his face. After a couple hours of mingling and indulging in snacks, candy, and Halloween-themed cocktails, you’re sitting on the couch together and the costume contest starts. It’s a close match between yours and Price’s dragon costume, but the final vote places you and Simon at the top.

He revels in the way your face lights up when the results are announced, dragging him up to the front of the room to get a little round of applause. His cheeks warm up and he silently thanks your make-up skills, since the face paint covers up the way his cheeks turn pink from the attention.

John “Soap” Mactavish [scary movies]

♡ Despite the fact that Soap is a massive scaredy-cat when it comes to spooky Halloween movies, he adores watching them just for the adrenaline rush.

♡ They’re even more fun when he has someone to grab onto when he inevitably falls to his weakness to jumpscares; once you’re dating, you will be the unfortunate victim to his antics. Half of the movie you’re getting jostled around because of his big arms wrapped around you when he’s freaking out from the monster that just popped out of a closet all of a sudden.

You yelp, not at the jumpscare on screen but because, for what felt like the hundredth time, Johnny has yanked you to his side with a shrill scream. “Oh, Christ—!” He squeezes onto you tight, pushing the air from your lungs. The evil ghost just jumped at the screen with a grumbly roar and now one of the main characters on-screen is getting mauled to death. Yikes.

“Johnny, you look like you’re about to piss yourself!” You laugh, a pout on his lips from your teasing. “It’s scary!” He wails, despite his eyes still locked on the screen and watching with suspense. You wrap your fingers around the bicep currently crushing you and give it a squeeze. “You’ll be okay, handsome. Now can you let go of me?” Johnny just nuzzles closer and squeezes you harder. “I can’t! What if the ghost gets me?” His pout dramatically deepens and you sigh.

“Well, if you squeeze me to death just know that I’ll be haunting you for as long as you live.” You muse, resting your head on his. His eyes snap to you and widen at that little comment. “You wouldn’t. Right?” He gives you an incredulous look. “I dunno, baby, if you keep choking me out like this you’ll just have to find out.” He gasps and huffs childishly, grumbling into your shoulder about how mean you are.

Kyle “Gaz” Garrick [apple picking]

♡ Gaz loves apple pie. It reminds him of his childhood so he makes it a yearly tradition to make at least one [he will eat more than one whole pie by himself] pie every autumn.

♡ The first autumn after you started dating, he saw a couple online going to an apple orchard for a date and he knew he needed to take you on a date just like that. You end up coming back home with enough apples to make as many pies as your hearts desire.

“Kyle! We’re not gonna have enough apples if you keep eating all of them!” You scold your boyfriend, watching him shrug and take another bite out of the apple in his hand. “We have plenty, sweetheart, don’t worry!” He said between crunching down on the bite he took. You shake your head and take the canvas bag full of the apples you picked just a couple hours ago away from the kitchen table, much to his dismay.

He follows you like a lost puppy and puts his chin on your shoulder while you prepare the homemade pie crust, pressing it into the pie tin. “How long is the pie gonna bake?” He asks with his hands on your hips. You pick up your phone and scan the recipe quickly. “Um… one hour.” Kyle groans. “That’s so long.” He whines.

You roll your eyes and turn back to getting the pie crust squared away before you get booped on the nose by Kyle’s flour-covered fingertip. You gasp and look back at him with a playfully offended glare. “Oh, it’s on now.” You grin and pinch some flour between your fingers to flick it at him with a giggle. It takes a good fifteen minutes before you’re finally able to get back to making the perfect pie, the two of you somehow ending up play-wrestling on the living room floor with your giddy laughter filling the room.

John Price [pumpkin carving]

♡ At this point in his life, Price has perfected the art of picking a good pumpkin to use for all the recipes he loves: pumpkin bread, pumpkin soup, even just fresh roasted pumpkin seeds.

♡ He gets to use his uncanny talents even more when you eventually drag him out to a pumpkin patch to find the perfect pumpkin to carve into a jack-o-lantern. He’s all smiles as he watches you crouch down to pick up and assess each one, giving you little tips along the way.

“Be careful with the knife, doll!” John calls from the kitchen. You roll your eyes and start to cut into the top of the pumpkin along the line you traced with a washable paint marker. “I’m not a baby, John!” You reply, a playful annoyance in your tone. He chuckles when he walks back in, watching your eyes squint while you try to cut the hole perfectly, fully focused.

He takes a seat at the table across from you, placing the pumpkin carving kit down in front of him and waiting for you to finish the first cut. "Did you pick a face for him?" He hums in thought when you pull your phone up and show him a picture of the design you picked out from your short Google search. “It’s a bit complicated, yeah?” You scoff and put a hand to your chest with a confident grin. “I can handle it, no problem!”

The night ends with your original pumpkin being used for pumpkin puree because you managed to goof up the design on your first try. You’re a bit down after having to use another pumpkin, but John is extra supportive of you the whole way through. By the time you put the candles in the bottom of the freshly made jack-o-lantern and put it on the porch, John has made the both of you a pot of pumpkin soup that you eat up the rest of the night.

𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

[aggressively-crying]

Probably bad transformers animated headcanons

Bumblebee listens to 100 gecs and uses TikTok. Both of which he does with his speakers turned up. In public.

Prowl has considered buying a fur suit but stops himself every time he's about to go through with it.

Optimus purposefully misuses slang and memes to watch the crew members that know what the terms mean die inside. Even pronounces them wrong for extra flavor.

Ratchet watches soap operas. It started out as simply being curious as to what trash the humans consider good stories but then he got legitimately invested.

Sometimes Bulkhead tries eating human food just because it looks really really good, but it always inevitably tastes kinda gross because he wasn't meant to process that kind of material. He wants to find a way to convert it to energon but until that day comes, he's forced to simply stare and long for it.

The repair crew has movie nights once a week with Sari, both to get a better understanding of human culture, and as an excuse to hang out. Every once in awhile they accidentally pick a movie that they don't realize Sari probably should not be watching until it's too late. They do not speak of the Friday the 13th incident. Or the time Sari picked Coraline and Optimus had to leave halfway through.

In that vein, after realizing how jumpy he was about spiders on Halloween, Optimus actually tried giving himself a degree of exposure therapy so no harmless tiny arachnids needlessly die by his axe. Now he at least TRIES to bring them outside with a cup and a piece of paper, but he's not above just asking Bulkhead to do it instead.

Ratchet has taken to finding old junker cars and trying to fix them up in his spare time. Their makeup is painfully simple compared to Cybertronian anatomy, and it's not like he has to worry about what happens if he can't fix one fast enough. He still thinks just selling spare parts on the open market is barbaric, but it's kind of therapeutic for him to just work on something like that without the stress of having someone's life or even just general well-being in his hands. He lets Bulkhead repaint them when he's finished.

Sari does NOT actually know how sex works. At least, like, not accurately. The version of it she told to Optimus was wildly off-base, but still juuuust close enough to freak him out.

Similarly, Prowl has observed nature long enough to get a sort of incomplete idea of how all that goes down, and has come to the conclusion that organics universally lay eggs.

Bumblebee plays horror games with the lights off just to prove hes not chicken, and then has horrible nightmares for a week straight. He also fully believes in every video game creepypasta/myth you tell him, and swears up and down he's seen Herobrine.

Bulkhead is terrified of mice because he doesn't understand how anything can be that teeny tiny and he heard they can chew through metal like some kind of freaky organic scraplet. He gets nightmares about Ratchet opening him up and finding a whole colony of them chewing on his wires.

Sometimes while Megatron was just a head in Sumdac's lab, he'd be bored enough watch whatever was on TV between schemes and naps. The only thing he would ever admit he liked was wrestling because he felt at least a little vindication watching the pathetic organic wretches beat the slag out of each other. That and it reminded him a bit of his gladiator days.

Shockwave is a pretentious energon tea drinker and has whatever the Cybertron equivalent of a loose leaf tea infuser is. He INSISTS it's objectively better and whatever the more normie type of energon is simply cannot compare.

Lugnut has date nights with Strika but they usually start off as sparring matches that get juuuust a little out of hand. He would not have it any other way and loves when his big scary wife throws him across the room and into a wall, then immediately rushes over to check if he still functions. It may be the concussions, but he swears she looks like a holy being towering above him from where he's slumped over on the floor.

Blitzwing is actually pretty functional from day to day. He's had his multiple faces for long enough that he knows how to cope with them and work with them. Sometimes he has poor impulse control, and sometimes he can't stop himself from feeding his anger, but overall he's actually pretty good about keeping himself in check. He just leans into the whole "crazy" schtick because he knows that's how others see him and no matter what he does, he's not gonna change their perception. It's sort of a spite thing when he annoys people with it, but it's also kind of a self deprecating cry for help that he's REALLY hoping someone will eventually pick up on.

Starscream is only a Decepticon because he wanted to pursue acting but nobody would hire a Warframe. He sought out fame and adoring fans in the gladiator arena, and he got what he was after until Megatron kicked his skid plate and Starscream was suddenly no longer the popular seeker heartthrob bad boy, but a laughing stock who fell when someone bigger and stronger clipped his wings. He originally joined Megatron with the intent to climb the ranks and snatch his following out from under him, but then the war broke out and his whole plan was thrown off track.

No Cybertronian is 100% okay with Earth vehicles looking the way they do and not being alive. It's pretty creepy seeing what they think is just some guy carrying an organic around only to remember right, yeah, the organic's controlling him like cordyceps in an ant and he was never alive to begin with.

Blurr has to intentionally talk much slower than he would at his natural speaking pace just because nobody can understand what in Primus's name he's saying.

Between him, Jazz and the Jet Twins, it's actually kind of a meme on Cybertron that the elite guard badge messes with your speech synthesizer because Sentinel is the only member that speaks even slightly normally.

Jazz once attempted to show Sentinel a nature documentary that Prowl recommended. Sentinel proceeded to purge his fuel tank about five minutes in and forbid jazz from watching that filth outside his own quarters.

Both of the jet twins play fortnite whenever they're on earth and come up with the nastiest incomprehensible insults they can to spam into the microphone because they think that's just part of the game that nobody is taking seriously rather than unbelievably toxic people having mental breakdowns at losing.

And finally,

Cybertron has its own cryptids and urban legends: a long, serpentine beast, as long as 60 Warframes that slinks through the oil of Iacon's aqueducts. A jet black cybercat with three tails that will take your spark if you look it in the optics for too long. A shuttle painted in neons, appearing at the station on its own when there is only one transformer at the station, speaking honeyed words in a voice that sounds too familiar, and promising to bring you home safe, but keeps driving and never stops until you're in stasis or offline. A spectral figure that haunts the underground tunnels that few dare traverse, keeping to the shadows and darting out of sight, but you can always hear their engine revving, and always hear their anguished wails. A frame-bare mechanical avian, practically skeletal, that circles over the sea of rust, massive in size and always waiting to swoop down on unsuspecting mechs. They are spoken of in hushed whispers, none know for certain whether they are real or simply fiction. Most think it's silly to believe in such things, but the superstitions around them persist.

[suckitsurveys]

How did it feel outside today? Ughh its so nice right now. In the 60s and a tad rainy. I wish it would stay like this for the rest of the month, because apparently Halloween is predicted to be in the freaking low 40s, maybe even 30s by the time we Trick or Treat.

Are there any animals in the room with you? Nope.

How did you spend yesterday afternoon? I stayed home from work because I was TIRED and had way too much human interaction the past week lol. I did end up going to the store to get some pumpkins and firewood for our pumpkin carving party tonight, and some fake blood and makeup for my niece’s Eleven costume

Are any of your siblings taller than you? Yes, she is.

Name a song that reminds you of a past relationship: Anything by Interpol.

When did you last have a nightmare? I don’t remember.

What’s the goriest thing you’ve ever seen? I don’t know.

Have you or do you attend pep rallies regularly? I mean, in high school, we had to.

Have you ever seen a building on fire in real life? Yes.

Have you kissed anyone and their first name started with an F, D, or L? L.

Have you ever been in therapy for anything? I definitely should be.

Do you think clowns are creepy? Not really.

If you had to write an essay about a popular song… what would that song be? Probably something Lana Del Rey.

When did you last have some fruit? I’m eating a banana right now.

What’s something you have to look forward to? Halloween, and then the holidays.

Is there any part of your sexual/romantic history that you have not told your current significant other about or that you will not tell future partners about? I mean, I haven’t told him every detail, but not because it’s a secret or anything, it’s just not relevant to our relationship.

Have you ever developed feelings for someone whose sexual orientation was incompatible with yours? Nah.

How many relationships have you been in that actually got sexual? Most of them have, in one way or another.

Who performs the most random acts of kindness out of everyone you know? I don’t know.

Are any of your pets “overweight”? Sake might be, but I honestly think she’s just bulky and like 80% fur. Her mom was a big cat too.

Who’s the most romantic person you ever went out with? My husband.

Last person to tell you that you smell good? My friend Lolly.

Last person you told that they smell good? My husband.

What shows do you watch? Um, a lot? Mostly sitcoms, some adult animation, and HGTV shows lol. Right now I am watching seasons 30-40 of SNL because I haven’t seen all the episodes between those seasons.

Is there anything you are craving right now? Sushi, always.

Think back to the last person you kissed, how many times have you laughed with them? More times than I can count. We laugh together every day.

What are five Halloween costumes that you’d like to wear in the future? Billie Eilish from the WTPO video (which I am being this weekend), Tanya from The White Lotus, Pete Davidson’s character from the YEET SKRRT SNL sketch, Louise Belcher from Bob’s Burgers, April Ludgate from Parks and Rec.

Who did you have your first kiss with? Do you remember what color his/her eyes were? Some kid on our block when I was 12, if that counts And yeah.

Whose Facebook timeline did you post on most recently? Probably for someone’s birthday recently but I can’t remember who.

Have you ever had a restaurant dish that was made with bugs? If not, would you even want to try one? I haven’t and yeah, I’ll try any food once.

Which edible flowers have you tasted? I’ve had hibiscus and rose before.

Who was the last non-relative woman you spoke to in person? Someone who works downstairs.

What was the last video you added to your favorites on YouTube? I don’t do that..

Who was the last person that apologized to you? I don’t remember.

What comes to mind when you think of pregnancy? Abortion.

Do you prefer bar or liquid soap? Liquid.

Do any of your family members have an upcoming birthday? Uhhhhh not my immediate family.

What is your favorite flavor of Jolly Ranchers? Watermelon.

Is your favorite animal endangered? Pandas are still, I believe.

Are you better at writing fiction or non-fiction? I don’t know, I don’t like writing in general.

Have you ever dated someone one grade/year above or below you? No.

What is the middle name of the last person you texted? Allen.

Have you ever come close to drowning? Yeah.

So… remember Girl Scout cookies? Any favorites you had/have? Remember? They haven’t gone away? My favorites are the tag-a-longs and the lemon ones.

Why did you ignore the last person you ignored? I just don’t want to hang out with her and her fucking boyfriend who knows my ex.

Which cartoon character would you want to keep as a pet? Snoopy or Garfield.

Do you like chocolate milk? Yes.

What is something you hate, but wish you loved? Not really “hate,” but sometimes I wish I was a Disney Adult who went to the parks because the looks people create (Disney-bounding) are so cute and I’d have so much fun with it, especially making themed Mickey ears to match. But I can never see myself spending that much money to go to any of the parks, and none of the rides interest me.

What’s the cutest thing your S/O does, but denies it’s cute in any way? This face he makes sometimes. I can’t explain it but it’s freaking adorable and he hates when I say it is lol.

Who have you hugged in the past month? I’ve hugged lots of people this month actually. All of my family, a couple friends, and a lot of Mark’s family.

Last bad news you heard? I mean, the world is bad news right now.

Have you ever dined alone at a restaurant? I have.

Have you seen a baby being born in real life? Yup, my older niece.

Do any of your exes know each other? Yes, two of them were friends oops.

What’s an opinion you find impossible to take seriously? People claiming vaccines cause autism.

Have you ever changed in front of the last person you kissed? Yes, lots of times.

Do you have any goats? I don’t own any goats, no.

Do you hang out with your sibling’s friends? Not without my sister, no.

Have you experienced any severe side effects of medications? Sure.

On Facebook, do you have people listed as your siblings who aren’t really your siblings? Nope.

Have you lost any close family members to cancer? Close? No.

Do you know anyone who doesn’t have a middle name? Yes.

How often do you check your emails? For my personal email, at least once a day.

Would you want your kids to have your hair color? I wouldn’t want kids to begin with, so.

Have you ever had a big YouTuber reply to a comment you left on their video? Yeah, Grav3Yard girl replied once a million years ago.

Have you ever given a lap dance? Jokingly.

[apenapaperandadoofus]

Can i request the RFA with a mexican MC?

Hellou! Aight so I'mma make it a bit more general latinx MC bc I am not mexican BUT I am a latina pft so yeah! Also should I add the minor trio and maybe Rika on another post? 👀

(psttt also if you're into BNHA @cafedanslanuit made an awesome hc post about the BNHA boys with a latinx MC if you want to check it out: x

RFA members with a Latinx MC:

Zen:

This man absolutely loves the MUSIC

Salsa? Merengue? Rumba, Samba, Bachata, THE CHA CHA CHA!?

He is an absolute BEAST he seriously loves all the dances and he has some friggin HIP MOVES.

Honestly you're kinda jealous he dances better than you

Some days while you're cooking or just chilling at home, you'll put up your favorite music, and soon enough you'll be swaying to the rythm of the beat, swaying your hips and signing along to the music

Zen will come back from work and find you dancing, so he'll come up behind you and wrap his arms around your hips, the two of you dancing together

At one point he'll probably try to sing but absolutely butcher the words too lmao

Yoosung:

The first time you met for a date, you actually broke the poor boy

He was NOT expecting the kiss on the cheek, he wasn't prepared!!!

Especially since Korea saves the whole touchy feely things for people that are either family or couples, usually they aren't really ones to come and hug their friends or kiss their cheek to say hello as a greeting

Meanwhile, in your culture if you don't do it you get a glare from your mother and probably a chancla beating for being rude AKSJSNSJS (been there too many times 😅💀)

After you start dating though he absolutely loves it. He didn't realize how much he loved being hugged or kissed until he met you!

He finds it pretty funny whenever you get mad and go on a swearing spree, especially when you hit your foot or elbow against something. You just start yelling and curing their mother, their father and their children, and he just loves you so much, it's weird, but he loves it.

Btw, COOKING TRADITIONAL LATIN FOOD AJSJSNSJSBS

At first it's an absolutely mess but he soon gets the hang of it

Jaehee:

MORE FOOOOD

Jaehee absolutely loves EVEYTHING about your culture, especially the food.

Whenever you are having a bad day she will cheer you up by making you your favorite foods!

On Christmas she makes a mix between korean and latin foods that you both enjoy, her favorite, of course are tamales! (Who doesn't love tamales, also they're a MUST for Christmas akkssnsn)

She also likes cooking you for breakfast gallo pinto (it's basically rice and beans but it's friggin delicious.)

Some of her favorite's are chalupas and chifrijo too!

listen you basically won the lottery with this woman, she is such a GOOD cook and she makes the most delicious food.

Sometimes you will find her in the kitchen trying to sign some of her favorite songs. She only knows the chorus but she definitely has the spirit!

Jumin:

One word:

Telenovelas

Listen, it's already been confirmed that Jumin has seen a few soap operas (and been influenced by them hence the kiss scene in his route ajsjsjsj)

Now k-dramas can be pretty dramatic.

BUT HAVE YOU SEEN THE SPANISH TELENOVELAS!?

Seriously if you get this man near them there's no telling what he'll do.

Our sweet and adorable Jumin can get influenced by Tv like that pretty easily, let's admit it, so at one point you may wake up and be in a spanish telenovela lmao

Honestly, when it all started, you were chilling at Jumin's place, ironically watching (but actually who are we kidding, you were pretty invested) one of the stupidest telenovelas you had seen in a while. You loved making fun of the characters and watching as chaos unfolded. It eventually became a routine and every Thursday you'd sit on your couch and stream the new episode.

That day Jumin came home early, and he saw you watching TV. You kissed him to welcome him home, but kept your eyes on the dramatic 'cat fight' scene on the tv. Jumin got pretty curious about what you were watching, and so he sat beside you, watching the whole episode in silence.

Once it was done, you felt a bit shaken up by the cliffhanger, but then got up to make some dinner. However, before you could leave Jumin grabbed your hand making yoy raise an eyebrow, confused.

"Jumin? What's wrong?"

"....MC. Why are you leaving? The show hasn't ended yet, has it? We still don't know what happened to Emilio, and Maria still hasn't figured out that Elena tricked her into leaving. Not only that, the 'salon' is about to close down. Love, we have to keep watching to find out what happens."

You let out a laugh and squeezed your boyfriend's cheeks. "Jumin! I didn't know you got so into it. Well sadly, the next episode comes out until next week so we'll have to wait. I can record it though, and wait till you come home so we can maybe watch it together?"

Jumin nodded and you couldn't help but compare him to an excited child that had suddenly found their favorite TV show. Soon, every Thursday the two of you would cuddle in bed together and watch another episode of the soap opera. Jumin enjoyed those moments so much. Not only because he was focused on the story, but because he loved the way you would suddenly gasp or randomly curse at the screen whenever something happened

(ALSO C&R cat telenovela coming out when??? -pfttt poor Jaehee but I'm 100% convinced Jumin would do this lmao)

Saeyoung:

Ohhh boy

You should have never told him about every single leyend that you grew up with as a child.

One day you were sharing with the RFA about all the spooky ghost stories, since Jumin had been asking about a few of them.

Saeyoung came in, heard spooky ghost stories and was immediately sold. That night you told him about La Segua, La Llorona, El Cadejos and more.

The thing is, you were not prepared for the chaos you had suddenly unleashed upon the world.

The next day while Saeyoung played LOLOL with Yoosung, you heard him retelling one of his favorite leyends that you had told him.

La Segua. The story was about a woman that would appear before sunset, asking for help with directions. The thing is, as soon as you helped her and night came, she'd turn into a horse and kill you. (I know it's weird AKSKSJA but I remember being SO scared of this when I was a kid, honestly these legends are so freaking good lmao, everyone in primary school would just be scared of a lady with a horse head pfttttttt)

As soon as you heard him tell the story to Yoosung, you knew that he was planning something. And were you going to stop him? No :D

A few days later, you invited Yoosung out to eat. As the sun was setting you led him towards Saeyoung's home, and then while you walked you met up with a very beautiful lady asking for directions. Yoosung immediately said 'nope' and tried to get you to quickly run away, but you insisted on helping the poor woman. After calming down a very shaken Yoosung, you explained that La Segua was just a story, and that Saeyoung was poebably just trying to spook him when he told it to him. Yoosung calmed down and apologized to the lady, offering to help her go home.

Suddenly you ended up in a very deserted place, making Yoousng feel a bit uneasy. As Yoosung walked, he turned around to tell you something along the lines of 'fuck this, let's go back to Saeyoung's.' he found that there was nothing behind him. He looked around, trying to look for you, but you appeared to have suddnely vanished.

Yoosung felt his throat get dry as the woman's arm tightened around his, and he tried to look anywhere but beside him

"Yoosung~" the woman whispered.

He yelped as he slowly turned around to look at the woman.

And he found a horse head staring back at him.

Later both you and Saeyoung had to look for him for about an hour and a half, and you found him under a bridge, shaking.

Yoosung did not find it funny at all, and you tried to nag Saeyoung telling him that maybe you had taken it too far, but you both couldn't help but laugh.

Of course you made it up to him, Saeyoung got him very exclusive Lolol costumes for his avatars, and Yoosung, even though he developed a trauma for both women and horses, ended up forgiving him and totally forgetting about the incident.

So the next time Saeyoung told him about La Llorona and gave you a mischievous smirk, you prayed for poor and innocent Yoosung, who obviously hadn't learned his lesson.

(this also happened a few more times until you had to intervene bc by now Yoosung wouldn't even go outside pfttt)

Also a few years later, while at the RFA Halloween party, Yoosung got stuck on the top of a tree and wouldn't come down.

Why you may ask? Because as he was drinking some wine, he felt a tap on his shoulder and turned around to find a big ass horse head staring back at him.

Rip Yoosung 😔✊

[when-will-they-interact]

Could you do prompt 11 or 6 u don’t have to though sorry

11- “Excuse you, I can be as dramatic and ridiculous as I want, outside of work hours. You can’t stop me.”

 Virgil raised a hand to shield his eyes from the bright glare of the light pointed right at him. Squinting to see past it, he did his level best to glare his disapproval at his two best friends.

 “Guys, is this really necessary?” he grumbled.

 “Oh, definitely. You’ve been acting weird for months and every time we ask you manage to deflect. We’re simply taking proactive measures to find out what’s up with you before it comes around to bite all of us in the butt.” Janus adjusted his gloves, looking every bit the super-villain-interrogator he was pretending to be.

“And you don’t think that this whole setup is entirely too ridiculous and dramatic for a lawyer of your standing?”

 “Excuse you, I can be as dramatic and ridiculous as I want, outside of work hours. You can’t stop me.”

 “Not that we’d want to. Jan, hon, where’d you put the tweezers?” Remus butted in.

 “No tweezers. We agreed,” Janus patted them on the shoulder consolingly, adding, “but you do get to sing if he doesn’t cooperate.”

 Virgil’s eyes widened in fear. If Janus was willing to let Remus sing, they must be taking this really seriously.

 “All right. Before we begin, state your name for the record.”

 Virgil raised an eyebrow, thoroughly unimpressed.

 “Fine. Have it your way. We’ll get right into it then. You’ve been going out more often than usual, citing, and I quote, ‘hanging with friends’. We all know this has to be a blatant lie, because neither of us was with you during these times and we happen to be your only friends. You also missed the day your favorite band was in town during their tour. You’ve worn something other than your hoodie 13 times in the last 2 months, an all time high. You’ve invested in eyeshadow that isn’t black and actually used it. What’s going on?”

 Virgil blinked. His friends kept closer tabs on his hoodie than he had thought. Their work was impressive, but he wasn’t gonna crack that easy. “So you’re saying I can’t make new friends?”

 Re gasped dramatically. “You would abandon us? Leave us to suffer in the dust and the day-to-day grind of life as you make your way up the social ladder? Virge, the betrayal shall simply kill me!”

 Virgil rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t stop himself from grinning at his friend’s theatrics. “I’d never abandon you; you know that.”

 “So then what is it?”

 “Why do you guys feel such a pressing need to pry into how I spend my time?”

 “Because we’re worried.”

 “What could you possibly be worried about? Me changing things up a bit?”

 “We’re worried about you because we think you might be taking the same road as your mom.”

 Virgil did a double take, sure this had to be some kind of sick prank, but the look in Janus’ eyes stopped him from saying so. Jan was deadly serious, and Virgil was only now realizing that the theatrics were his friends trying not to fully freak out.

 “The weird outings, the spacy look you get, the odd behavior, the missing important events? We were there, Virge, we remember how it went. We’re worried about you, and we want to know if you’re safe. You can tell us anything, we’ll help you with anything.” Remus’ voice was quieter than usual, and for the first time in a long time, they looked scared.

 Virgil didn’t respond for a bit. He was mentally berating himself for not realizing just how his recent behavior would look, and also for not just telling them what was going on in the first place.

 “I’m so sorry, I didn’t think. I should have known how you guys would see this. I can assure you it’s not that.”

 “So what is it then?” Jan asked.

 “I, um, I’ve been seeing someone,” Virgil sped forward, determined to get the story out before either of them could interrupt, “His name is Logan, and I didn’t say anything because he’s kinda high profile and we wanted the relationship under wraps until the both of us were ready. I should have told you guys, though, you’re my closest friends and I don’t like keeping things from you.”

 “You. You got a boyfriend???” Remus’ jaw was practically on the ground.

 “Is it really that hard to believe?” Virgil asked, defensive.

 “Considering your track record of running away from romantic relationships, yes, it kind of is.” Janus had slumped in relief the moment Virgil had explained, but now he perked back up.

 “I- okay fair.”

 “Wait, what do you mean ‘high profile’?”

 “He’s this big name in investing or something. To be honest, I completely lost track of what he was saying when he tried to explain. The financial terms went right over my head. J, you’ll probably get along great with him.”

 “Wait, this Logan, he wouldn’t happen to be Logan Berry would he?” the question came from the least expected source, Remus.

 “Yes? How in the world-“

 Remus held up a finger, pulling out their phone and tapping at it frantically. Finally, they held it up to show an Instagram page. To be specific, their twin’s Instagram page.

 “What’s Roman got to do with this?”

 Remus pointed at the first picture, which depicted Roman with two people at a coffee shop. Virgil squinted.

 “That’s- that’s Logan sitting with him.”

 “Apparently you’re dating my brother’s bestie. Well, one of them, anyway.”

 “We really do live in some really shitty soap opera.” Janus dramatically flopped back. Remus patted him consolingly on the shoulder.

 Virgil, seeing his chance, stood up, ready to make his escape.

 “You can go now, but don’t think we won’t be after you for deets later.” Re called as he left.

 Virgil groaned good-naturedly, but inside he was giddy as a kid on Halloween. His friends remained brilliant as ever, and now he was free to gush like he’d been dying to do for months. As he stepped into the sun, Virgil grinned. Things were good. Things were really good. And judging by the text he’d just gotten, things were about to get better. Virgil texted back and set off with a spring in his step. He had a date to get to.

[iwaizooming]

➵ lemon, mint, and cinnamon — i. hajime

✧ pairings: iwaizumi x gn! reader   ✧ type: short fic   ✧ genre: post-breakup; mostly fluff with angst in the end   ✧ wc: 1k~

✧ synopsis: cleaning always brings back the memories; both good and bad. you and iwaizumi broke up in a mutual agreement, but then why does it all feel so wrong?

it’s spring cleaning season. you cleared out your schedule for the day, and god knows you need it. after all, it’s been a while since your apartment got a nice and thorough clean. you put on your earbuds to blast on your favorite spotify playlist and grabbed your heavy-duty cleaning gloves. you were humming along to brazil by declan mckenna and moving your head with the beat. it’s a nice day out, the skies are clear and there was a refreshing breeze, but you didn’t mind being home. after all, you find cleaning pretty therapeutic instead of tedious. the monotonous and repetitive actions clears your mind; ending up with a clean apartment is a nice bonus as well.

you started with the bathroom. it’s one of the easiest one to clean because you always keep it relatively spotless. all of your skincare products are stored behind the mirrored cabinets, away from the public eye. you’re no neat freak by any means, but somehow you managed to keep your bathroom super neat. you smile to yourself as you remember how you used to be years ago, before you moved out to a place of your own. your mom used to yell at you a lot for being a messy bum.

after wiping the mirrors and shower screen off with a microfibre cloth and a bottle of glass cleaner, you went ahead and continued with what’s inside the cabinets. be with me by boy pablo sang in your ears as you sorted through your seemingly endless skincare products.

after you’re done with the bottom and middle rows you stood on your tiptoes to reach for the plain cardboard box on the uppermost row of the cabinets. it was where you stored all your backup products, so you wanted to take a peek to see if you needed to grab anything from the drugstore.

your movements falter as your eyes fall on the small white boxes. dove bar soap. you know that those aren’t yours. you know full well who those belong to. your heart clenched as the soft scent of citrus invades your senses and before you could stop yourself, your mind started to wander.

every evening after uni, hajime would always go to your place to freshen up. he said that the californian weather was way too hot for his liking, but you always catch him smiling whenever the sun was shining bright and the skies were cloudless. he’d always smell like lemons after coming out of his short shower, the white towel you specifically set aside for him wrapped around his hips, dangerously low.

you loved teasing him when he’s in nothing but a towel because you loved how exposed he is in that moment. you loved seeing him blush and try to stutter out words while you pepper his bare neck and chest with open-mouthed kisses. you loved just how his skin smelled so fresh and citrusy, just like a bright summer's day. he’d always complain that he just got out of the shower, why couldn’t you have done this before? but he’d always give in after a few minutes.

every other week, you have to pick up his shampoo for him, because that boy always seems to forget to buy it for himself when he’s running low. you don’t mind at all though, you have to go grocery shopping anyway, so it’s convenient for you. no matter how many times you try to remind him, he can’t seem to remember. you’ll hear him grumble to himself on a sunday afternoon because he forgot to get the damn shampoo again, and he couldn’t wash his hair because of that. hajime’s choice of shampoo fits him perfectly, you think. peppermint. strong and sharp, but also fresh and soothing. you can’t help but wonder if he still forgets to buy his shampoo now.

your fingers always found their way into his damp hair, loving how soft they were despite the short length. you’d get him to make a twisty towel thing on his hair- it’s to get it to dry quicker, you insist. you’re not lying, but it doesn’t mean you’re not laughing while taking blurry pictures of him to set it as your lock screen. he’d pretend that he’s mad, but his hearty laughs and flushed cheeks tell you otherwise. it somehow always ends in a tickle war with both of you on the floor rolling around, laughing uncontrollably.

citrus and mint fits him so perfectly. sharp and bright and fresh and soothing all at the same time. you loved how he smells right after a nice cool shower. but your favourite is when he smells like cinnamon.

once the clock hits 00.01 on the first of september, it’s basically christmas time for the both of you. it’s so so silly, but it makes you so giddy when hajime starts bringing out your christmas decorations. you celebrate halloween, of course, but the pumpkins and spooky skull ornaments sit alongside the bright tinsel and white-painted pinecones. you loved baking with hajime- he’s surprisingly really good at it. it doesn’t matter if it’s snickerdoodle cookies or cinnamon rolls that day, once you’re done with your creations that day, he always smells heavenly. the sweet scent of cinnamon seems to linger a little longer than it’s supposed to.

no matter what scent he was sporting that day, he always smells like home. he was home.

no, you reminded yourself, finally successfully shaking yourself out of the nostalgic trance you were in for the past god knows how long. you don’t regret your decision, you try to remind yourself.

hajime was your right person, wrong time. both of you agreed that it’s not going to work out. with his dreams of permanently returning to japan as the olympics team’s athletic trainer and yours of moving to london to work for a big name fashion company, the two of you came to the conclusion that it would be best to let each other go. none of you are willing to let go of your own dreams, and none of you wanted the other to give their dreams up either.

so it was the right decision to make.

but as the tears in your eyes blur your vision and make it hard for you to clean your sink properly, you start to think that you’re just trying to convince yourself that you didn’t make a huge mistake. and failing. miserably.

other works

✎ a/n: hi hello i just wanted some domestic & fluffy iwa brainrot but i can’t stop myself from including angst lol

[sinkix]

《What your fav Haikyuu!! Character says about you│Nekoma Edition》

Yo-hoo! Here’s another part to this potential(?) series! I hope you enjoy the possible call-outs in some of these lmao. Writers block been kicking my ass recently but I had a lot of fun writing these. Enjoy <3

You can find the Karasuno ver. here 

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Kuroo:

Have a hand fetish and will not say no to choking.

Daddy kink™

Will not accept anything below 6 inches.

More of a dog person but would love to own a black cat.

You drool over tattoos.

Your grades are mostly B’s but you know in your heart you deserve that A, and tbh you probably do. Chase ur goals bby.

Halloween is likely your favourite holiday.

You have to resist not to carve a dick into the pumpkin EvEry GodDAmN YeAr.

You either study for 6 hours consecutively or cannot study at all and you get very frustrated at this.

Have the potential to be a good leader and command the room but probably don’t put it to use as much as you should.

Your playlist parkours from sad 3am crying into your pillow songs to aggressive punk music you could rob a store to.

You like bad boys who hang around bars and look like they would put out a cigarette on your forearm and call you a slut. Just stating facts sweaty xoxo.

Either dress very feminine and girly with a ‘smol girl uwu’ aesthetic or a hardass punk who would kick your ass for a can of beer no in between and tbh both are equally hot.

You’re a big softie at heart either way and just want to be held and told everything will be okay.

Ur a hoe for when people stroke your hair or caress your chin it’s your ultimate weakness.

Watched Rick & Morty.

Twice.

Sleeves rolled up veiny forearms and donning a silver watch are your muse and something you fantasise about frequently.

Most of your memes are shitty top text bottom texts that are somehow funny and I don’t understand why lmao.

You call someone ‘bro’ even if it’s someone you’re immensely attracted to.

Did someone say ties? No it’s just ur dirty ass thoughts thinking about that hot business dudes attire from across the street and how you wish they were tied around ur wrists.

Probably had a crush on Jeff the Killer as a tween and are relentlessly haunted by your old Wattpad library. 

Tbh any dark-haired dude with bedhead that screams rugged and probably not good for you is something that draws you like a moth to a flame.

You often question why every person you’ve fallen for has been a Scorpio and curse that tendency of yours.

Dw man they’re hot so I feel u.

Kenma:

Went through a ‘I’m not like other __’ phase and it’s something that you think about a lot and wish you didn’t.

Watched dan & phil as a kid.

Any mention of Pokemon has you turning into a rabid beast you get way too excited.

It’s cute though dw bby.

Pretty antisocial but interesting to talk to.

Your family often question how you’re able to sleep in till 3pm and judge you heavily for it.

Nocturnal night owl gang rise up.

Frequently have bags under your eyes but somehow manage to pull it off.

Listen to ASMR on the down-low and will never admit it to a single soul.

Frequently go on BL binges and have many related book marks.

You pray that someone will never find your laptop bc holy fuck the amount of smut on that.

You wear scarves & beanies even when it isn’t that cold outside.

100% went through a scene hair phase/attempted to.

You dye your hair a lot or REALLY want to.

You have a voice kink low-key so anyone with a pleasant/soothing sounding voice just gets u goin’.

Cats are your favourite animal and you either do or want to own several.

Would name them after video game/anime characters u fuckin nerd lol.

Speaking of cats ,you fantasise heavily about cat-boys and have a folder dedicated to them.

Oversized hoodies are your vibe and always ball the sleeve hems in your fist as a comfort mechanism.

Shopping centres are your worst nightmare and trigger your claustrophobia or social anxiety and honestly I feel that spiritually.

Have a cute sticky note collection.

You like a lot of music consisting of guitar and slow/soothing beats.

You also fw EDM/ techno on occasions.

Honestly wouldn’t wanna anger you since you have a seething temper when pushed far enough.

It’s the kinda temper that’s eerily quiet but no less terrifying, like the other person can tell you are graphically plotting their demise.

You love sleeping to the sound of rainfall and often play those nature ambience videos while you sleep.

Never tidy your sheets and it’s just a big scrunched up heap of fabric in the centre of your mattress most of the time.

Make your fucking bed.

Lev:

Your ships are chaotic and shamelessly controversial.

Would do something just for the sake of creating mayhem lmao.

You were the fucker who stuck their chewing gum under the desk, I see you.

Your brain never stops whirring it’s a constant hurricane of crackhead energy and you have no idea how to turn it off. 

Would eat a stick of pencil lead for $2

You don’t help your situation with the amount of coffee/energy drinks you consume.

The class clown who cries themselves to sleep.

Such a wholesome dumbass but somehow kinda intimidating??? 

Even if you’re not confident you can do something you’ll try anyway and honestly I respect that about you.

You !! use!!! a lot??!! of!! random punctuation!!! so you always??!?!? seem!!111!! excited!!!!!11!?

Every time you’ve ever tried to make a sandcastle it has failed.

You tried to eat the sand once but we don’t talk bout that.

You would  also pick up slugs and snails and chase your friends around with them.

Can never tell whether people are laughing with you or at you and while you don’t let it show it high-key bothers you when you’re laying alone in your room at night.

Not one to hold grudges, you carry a ‘shit happens’ mentality which is v good but it sometimes leads to people taking advantage of it or walking all over you.

Your meme collection is both questionable and horrifying.

Like how many cursed images and heavily distorted pictures does one person need.

Never organise the files on your PC/laptop so it looks like a complete dumpster fire.

The one at sleepovers who persistently woke everyone else up with their snickering and refusal to sleep till dawn.

For the love of Asahi charge your damn phone.

I see that red bar and ‘12%’

Charge it now.

Bought a plant one time, gave it a name and talked to it frequently.

It died not long after bc u forgot to fucking water it.

No one better ever make you responsible for a pet.

Type of person that when someone asks you to tag along on an endeavour no matter how stupid it is you will agree.

2am skydiving in france? hell yeah.

Midnight shopping spree and spending over half your pay check? count you in.

Exploring an abandoned hospital and performing an Ouija board to summon the demons of hell? you’re damn right you’ll be there.

I hope you have a mum friend by your side bc if not how are you still alive.

You sometimes put the milk in before the cereal and it’s something I’ll never forgive you for.

Yaku:

Very responsible and usually make the right decisions.

You do have moments where you act like a complete dumbass though.

Like u go from 50 year old to 5 year old in the blink of an eye.

A hopeless romantic but it’s a side you don’t often reveal.

Prefer strawberry milk over any other flavour.

You’re the type of person to shower twice a day w/o fail.

Where that stank smell coming from? Not you clearly bc your skin is basically 90% The Body Shop’s rose scented soap at this point.

You get stomach aches a lot and you can’t figure out why.

Probably an allergy to everyone’s bs.

Really good at dirty talk even though you don’t seem the type so people are always taken aback.

You have to be really in the mood though otherwise it falls flatter than Oikawa’s ass, use your skill wisely.

You often call people clowns when you know you’re secretly the biggest one going.

Honk honk, hoe.

You send messages in one paragraph rather than multiple texts unless you are REALLY excited.

People underestimate you at times then are shocked when they realise you are capable of being a fire-breathing dragon from the flaming pits of hell.

You like spicy chicken wings.

Such a petty little shit at times lmao.

Enjoy the view from the top of mountains so you either hike a lot or really want to.

Way more of a cat person since it’s just much more convenient for you.

Usually pretty cheerful or calm and people are drawn to your stable/friendly aura.

Went through a phase of drinking mountain dew and your body still feels the awful effects

Fav element is probably air.

You’re 5′6″ or shorter.

Box dyed your hair brunette several times and can never get the pigment out to this day.

Yamamoto:

Whenever you smell something weird in the room you always internally freak out and think it’s you.

Head-butting walls is your hobby.

You fell off your bike as a kid and still have the scar on your knee.

Probably have tons of ear piercings.

Would tame a pigeon and call it Larry.

You get frequent nosebleeds and can never tell if it’s a medical issue or your extreme simping for fictional men/women.

Hopefully the latter.

You constantly chew your pen/pencil in class so you never lend them to anyone out of embarrassment.

I really hope no one ever lends you stationery bc 30 minutes later it’ll look like it was mauled by a rabid rottweiler.

You really want to own a dog and would call it something intimidating like Banshee or Diablo.

You bleached your hair that one time and it almost fell out so now you’re forced to stay at least 10 metres away from all at-home hair dye products.

You tried your best though bby so A for effort, even if it did look like dehydrated ramen afterwards.

Your grades are mostly C’s and you’re barely passing bc you just don’t care about your classes lol.

Still though you’re actually pretty smart so put it to good use you lazy oaf, channel that crackhead energy into something good.

Your phone screen has several cracks in it from when you dropped it on the bathroom floor while shitting and you’ll always be angry at yourself for that.

You have some really weird quirks but you make it work.

Actually a v chill person but you just kinda attract chaos/trouble wherever you go.

Carry a lighter with you even when you don’t need one.

Shy texter but once people see you irl you are the complete opposite, you just dk how to text without coming across as awkward.

One of those people that’s unintentionally funny and always get confused when you make someone laugh but it makes you feel good regardless.

Have a cool necklace collection and own at least one dog-tag/army style pendant.

Should really consider buying a rabbit you would look so cute w/ one.

You have really nice legs and people should compliment them more.

Either severely dehydrated or overly hydrated to the point you are peeing pure tap water so for the love of god please learn moderation, your kidneys and bladder will thank you for it.

Inuoka:

Your favourite character would be Hinata but you like people taller than you so your love for Inuoka spawned.

You really enjoy using the double spiderman meme.

Cannot correctly verbalise your feelings without creating a minimum of 10 misunderstandings but once people are used to it it’s kinda endearing.

You usually wake up in a good mood and people can never fathom how or why.

You either stay up till 5am or you wake up at that time no in between.

A morning person bc you love the sunrise.

Change your lock-screen very regularly bc you get bored.

Your humour consists solely of poop jokes.

When you don’t understand a joke you laugh anyway and hope they don’t ask you if you actually get it.

Happened once and you’re still traumatised from the cricket silence that fell upon the room.

Really like the taste of lemonade and drink it more often than you should.

Often think about what you would look like with a shaved head.

More of an extrovert but def have occasional introvert tendencies where you wanna be left tf alone.

Never allowed to pick up anything in stores bc the last time you did you sniffed a scented candle and it shattered to the floor.

Constantly have spontaneous ideas of what to change about your appearance.

You use a lot of hand gestures like thumbs up and peace signs.

‘Dude’ and ‘lmao’ is 90% of your vernacular.

Your nails are a disaster, some are down to the nub while others are pretty grown out bc you only bite a select few please sort it out.

Look really good in red.

Your laptop has way too many tabs open from random google searches of words you didn’t know the meaning to.

You read a lot of books but for like 10 minutes at a time bc you have the attention span of a walnut.

You are the type of person to nuke your AO3 tags with things that aren’t even relevant purely bc you found them funny.

Your Tumblr drafts are a nightmare, you have like 100+ in the works yet keep starting new projects why do you do this.

Happy sunshine but you have a LOT of mood swings like that shit comes out of nowhere.

Cry pretty often but no one ever sees and it’s usually because of said mood swings.

You always smile and pick yourself up again though which I commend you for.

TYPES IN CAPITALS IN SITUATIONS THAT DO NOT REQUIRE SAID PUNCTUATION SO YOU SEEM LIKE YOU’RE YELLING ALL THE TIME.

[quotes-of-dreamland]

void headcanons pleae

The fact that y’all want more is-

He and Adeline got in a big fight and it ended with him feeling so upset and hurt that he ended up smacking her across the cheek. He’s still upset at her, but he’s very sorry for doing that :(

Do not call him god. Under any circumstances, you are not to call him god. He is not your god. He does not wish to be your god. Leave him alone, Hyness-

While he’s been exposed to traumatic things such as death, destruction, and the countless years of being banished to nothingness, there’s still a lot he doesn’t know about the world. One minute he could be recounting how he was hunted down by ancient warriors who believed he was evil, the next he could be looking at a bubble wand in a soap dish and just staring at the bubbles in absolute awe and glee

He often likes to talk with Nova when it comes to being perceived as godlike for his power and he gets overwhelmed

He’s still having a bit of trouble talking with the mage sisters after all that’s happened...

He likes turtles! :D

For his very first Halloween, he dressed in a cloak and carried around a plastic sythe. He got lots of candy that year even if people didn’t understand what he was

To keep from saying his real name, Kirby came up with a nickname for Void so that they could introduce him to people without them immediately freaking out. It’s “Temmy”!

Gooey holds no fear upon knowing Void is.. well, Void. He’s essentially decided Void is his new brother

-Mod Taranza, very excited 🕸

[mizufae]

4, 9, 21, 30, 48, 68

SO MANY ASKS, MY BOREDOM RECEDES

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

ugh. I was the super smart but smelly kid, basically. I got placed in a GT core program in 4th grade (gifted and talented) and even there I was immediately shuffled to the second to last rung on the social ladder, I was the most normal one of the kids who ate erasers and were obviously autistic. Like also, I guess I was described as “an old soul” and “rude” because I used bad words. Before the GT program I was a bookworm and before that I was “extremely shy” but in 2nd grade I woke up one morning and was suddenly obnoxious. I suspect that my teachers didn’t know what the hell to do with me most of the time, but I always got really good grades despite refusing to do a lot of homework so it was kind of hard to crack my nut, I guess. One time in fifth grade I was called “tactless”.

9. favorite smell in the summer?

Honeysuckle on a warm clear night.

The town I moved to when I was seven years old has a big festival every year with craft booths and outdoor concerts and lots of food and carnival stuff and they have fireworks! It was within walking distance of our house, so every summer we’d walk there in the afternoon and spend a couple evenings there. This was how I saw Carbonleaf for free about a month before they made it really big! Anyway, here is the memory:

Walking home at night, sticky leather sandals on my feet. My friend met up with me while at the festival and she peels off to get to her neighborhood a few blocks along. My mom and dad are meandering about half a block ahead of me. I have a cracked glowstick around my neck, it’s a soft green and pink. The firework smoke has mostly cleared and the nearly full moon washes the dark streets with enough light to navigate without the flashlight my mom had tucked in her purse. The streets on this block don’t have sidewalks so we have to be careful, but everyone is walking home around this time so it’s not too dangerous. The breeze passes through and any lingering smoke is blown away, replaced with a floral waft. I don’t understand what it is until I bump into my parents who have stopped. My dad is picking at a bush that’s grown over a chainlink fence. “What are you doing?”

“Eating honeysuckle,” my dad responds. I make an incredulous noise. “You can eat it, see? You pick a flower, like this, without any leaves on the bottom, and then pinch off the bottom. The stamen will come through and pull the nectar down... Then you suck it like the bottom of an ice cream cone. It’s sweet. Here, try it.”

After I try one and mangle it, my dad prepares one for me. I’m surprised. I’d only eaten pansies before, and those tasted like mint and parsley had a baby, not sweet at all. “Can you eat the petals?”

“Yeah, but they don’t taste like anything. Here, you want more?”

“I can do it this time.”

“Okay, be careful though, don’t pick any too low down, dogs can pee on it.”

“Ew, Dad!”

At this point my mother chides us on back home, but I pulled off a big tendril to pick at the rest of the way.

21. obsession from childhood?

When I was little I was terrified of most things, but a big thing that really freaked me out was clowns and also people in mascot costumes. As an adult I have made some uh... progress on this (am I a furry? am I a clownfucker? I not NOT those things...) but anyway in an attempt to get me to maintain my chill if I accidentally found a clown or mascot at one of a million children friendly places where such characters appear without warning (the zoo, a baseball game, the mommy and daughter beauty pageant my mom idiotically signed us up for when I was like, three... every halloween ever... the library...) they rented this movie that was like, a behind the scenes clown circus documentary.

I have spent a solid 20 minutes trying to look it up just now and it is ungoogleable because of all the trendy murderous clown bullshit these days, thanks a lot stephen king, but anyway. My older brother had to watch it with me the first time but it was like... the clown showed how he went from just a guy through every step of putting on the makeup and costume, and some juggling stuff and some other tricks, and what makes a funny physical joke, and some other circus things... And then he took off the clown outfit and became a regular guy again. I WAS OBSESSED. Apparently, I requested we rent this movie from blockbuster EVERY TIME for MONTHS to the point where blockbuster offered to sell us the VHS. I still remained scared of clowns for years after this but it helped me out a lot and also it’s connected to my whole thing about practical effects. I also watched the jim hensons secrets of the muppets thing about twenty bajillion times, it all exists in the same space in my brain.

30. places that you find sacred?

Gazebos and thresholds, mostly. Also I once had a religious experience staring at a Van Gogh in the National Gallery of London. It was Wheatfield with Crows. I don’t think I saw god, because I dont particularly believe in god much, but I do feel like... some part of me cracked open and was able to connect with some part of a person who had painted it a hundred years ago. I only learned that it was possibly the last thing he ever painted like, a year later. I was in London visiting a friend who had moved there a year before, we were in our senior year of high school, I was 17 and applying to art schools at the time, so maybe it was just a thing about, like, the right time and mental space for it, but also... me and Vincent are like... yeah. This is what I hope I see when I die, etc.

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

I hope that I would be an apricot but that’s just cuz I really like them. Maybe I am a coconut, hairy on the outside and a hard nut to crack.

When I started to grow boobs, my mom told me a funny story about how in college she walked in on her roommate standing in front of the mirror in just her underwear, cupping her breasts. And when my mom was like “uh... what are you... doing?” her roommate was like “sigh... do you think I have oranges? Or are they more like tangerines... I wish I had grapefruits like you!” and from then on the citrus system of breast classification was set. Hippies, amirite?

Anyway my boobs kept growing and growing and growing. I am currently a K cup??? But anyway one day as a teenager I was in the grocery store and they had these fruits that were EVEN BIGGER than a grapefruit. They were pale green and smelled really nice! And when we sliced it open it had SO MUCH PITH, but the fruit inside was a pretty pink... It’s a pomelo! The precursor to grapefruits. My breasts are now bigger than even pomelos, but whenever I see them in the market I’m like “my boob fruit!”

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

I try my best to taste foods I’ve disliked over and over again throughout the years to get myself to become okay with them because I find the enjoyment of food to be vitally important to my willingness to continue existing. But one thing I will NEVER force myself to eat again is natto. I tried it about four different times, once the cheap conbini kind, once at an extremely swanky japanese hotel breakfast, one in a really nice sustainable sushi restaurant with my favorite fish mackerel, once from a friend’s fridge, and UGH, every time, I just wanna spit it back out immediately. Sorry, fam.

In terms of things that come in different flavors I think the grossest soda is the grapefuit favorito which is like drinking bubbly soap.

[hamonsurveysoverdrive]

Resistance

Would you rather have a pet crocodile or a pet octopus? Crocodile. Octopi freak me out. What has been your favorite age to be so far? This one. What age would you like to be forever? None. What is the nearest silver object to you? Part of a pen. Are you still in school? If so, what grade? I'm in college. Would you rather be rich and hideous or poor and beautiful? Poor and beautiful, like I am now! Hahahaaha, well at least the poor part. Do you like Ritz crackers? Honestly, I really don't. What brand of soap do you use? Dove. Do you have any designer clothing? If so what brand? Lol no. Have you ever been out of the country? Yes. How about out of state? Well, if I've been out of the country... Out of city? ... Do you put on sunscreen in the summer? Just on my shoulders and nose, really. Do you put on sunscreen in the winter? No. Were you afraid of the dark when you were little? Yes. If you could put a celebrity's face on a dollar bill, whose would it be? Does Obama count? Do you have neat or sloppy handwriting? Neat. Name a random object in the room that you are in. Mailboxes my kids made out of paper plates. Do you remember what you wore on your very first day of school? Like, in kindergarten? Nah. Don't you hate it when people say 'inside jokes' in front of you? No. Who is your favorite person in the whole wide world? My kiddos. Do you support or are you against gay marriage? Support. What is your favorite fragrance? Idk. Do you like Starbucks? Sure. What about Orange Julius? Never been. Where do people hang out in your town? Bars. If you had just one bullet, and a trigger, would you pull it? Uh, what are the circumstances here?? Do you tend to hide or show your feelings? I try to hide them. My expressive ass face does NOT help. What are your opinions on war in general? It's inevitable. Plastic or styrofoam cups? Styrofoam. Do you like pretzels? Yes. Do you make wishes at 11:11? Sometimes. Do you like romance movies or are you more into horror films? I like both, but definitely more of a horror person. Have you ever wanted to be a writer? Yes. What color is the carpet in your living room? It's all hardwood. Do you live in a house, apartment, etc.? Apartment. Do you like peanuts, or any other type of nuts? Yes. Did you even vote? Yepp. Are you prejudiced? We all have prejudices, but I fight them as much as I can. Are you a clingy person? I can be. What did you do for Halloween? On actual Halloween, we threw a Halloween party for all the kids since trick or treating is stupid in a pandemic. Do you celebrate holidays? Yes. Do you like the way Purell smells? I don't really have an opinion. Have you ever had a pet kitty? Yepp. What about a white hamster with red eyes? No, but I've had pet hamsters. Would you rather be a lion or a tiger? Tiger. A giraffe or a zebra? Zebra! If you could be a wild animal or a pet which would you be? A zebra lol What was the last letter that you sent out by mail? Pfft, who tf does that anymore. Do you usually get really cold in the winter? Ugh yes. Do you wear a lot to keep warm? Yes. What is your favorite flavor of gum? Minty. What is your favorite color out of the colors in the rainbow? Blue. Do you like to exercise? Hahahaha no. Are you wearing any bandaids? If so, where and why? No. Do you currently have any bruises on you? No. Do you/did you like or dislike school? I like it. Except for sociology. Do you have small feet or big feet? Biggish. Do you have slim or chubby fingers? Slim. How long are your fingernails? Not very. But not super short either. Have you ever stepped on a nail/tack? Yes. And broken glass. Do you prefer rainy or sunny days? Sunny. But I love both. What were the first words that you ever said? Dada. Do you have a very undecided mind? Not really. Are you cold? My feet are. Is it really always sunny in Philadelphia? I doubt it, but I do love that show. Why don't people use alternative fuels? Expensive, hard to come by, and most cars can't take them. What do you think the world will be like in 100 years? Terrible, just like it is now and just like it always has been. How old do you want to live to be? Idk. Are you currently wearing any lotion? No. Can you lick your nose? Yes. Are your ears clean? Yeah. Are you a potty mouth? Yepp. Would you want to live forever? No thanks.

[toongrrl-blog]

The Mommy Myth: Threats from Without (Part One)

*TRIGGER WARNING FOR ABUSE*

This will be a doozy folks...

Razor blades in apples and cookies during Halloween. Day cares run by child molesters and Satanists! Flammable pajamas! Car seats not installed properly! Cavities from bottles! Child Porn! Kidnappers! Toys choking kids! Alar in apple juice! Peanuts stuck in windpipes! Stalkers! Rapists! Radiation from household appliances! Murderers! Gangs! Fetal Alcohol Syndrome! Car jacking! Tylenol causes liver damage! Milk Cartons with missing kids! If you fuck up just a little, your kid is screwed!

Welcome to the 1980s where childhood danger became the new obsession along with designer goods, buns of steel, big hair, cell phones, and greed being good. In many decades that traced the growth of mothers in the workplace (check the 1940s), there was moral panic about juvenile delinquents and latchkey kids going bad, there were 19.5 million working mothers by 1984, also 6/10 women with children under eighteen. Mothers of preschool children working had doubled since 1970 and it was 15% higher for African-American women because unemployment for black fathers was 10.2% compared with 5% for white fathers. And these women were not making the big bucks to afford clothes and lifestyles seen on Dynasty and Falcon Crest, where they’d mostly work in retail, clerical, service, or factory positions and daycare workers earned less than most clerks of liquor stores. 

In 1984, aside from the fictitious case of the disappearance of Barbara Holland and the re-appearance of the thought to be dead Will Byers the previous year, there were two media events that captured the public fascination with child endangerment: the McMartin daycare scandal and the premiere of The Cosby Show (it was a more naive time) which was a typical sitcom except it featured two parents who worked outside the home in white-collar professions and focused on an African-American family. It showed the contradictions of what 1980s moms lived with: you can’t trust your kids with just anyone or leave them alone, you can have a demanding job and the loving family made for tv, act as paranoid as an FBI agent, be the spontaneous mom, and be constantly aware.

These media panics also happened around the same time the Reagan Administration was a big thing; he was aided by the regressive STOP ERA and Religious Right which led to a huge anti-feminist backlash in policies and the media. Women’s magazines scared moms about what could go wrong with their kids and exploited the fears of the public. Around the same time the McMartin daycare scandal was a thing, the government refused to fund daycare centers for millions of kids and was a result of such coverage. The War Against Women had started and programs benefiting women and children were in it’s crosshairs as being “too expensive” and “trickle down economics” will help anyways. So while the Chrysler Corporation and the Savings and Loans industry were given financial life rafts, programs like WIC (Womens, Infants, and Children) were cut mortality rates for infants of color (which declined in the 1970s) started climbing again and family leave was virtually non-existent. Parents magazine published a later-debunked warning in 1982, that children in daycare will become hoodlums. Moms were also warned kids will pick up lice (also in Little League or in the classroom) from daycares. 

The roots of this sensationalization of childhood perils stared in the mid 1970s with it’s peak a decade later, where Ladies Home Journal dumped Bruno Bettelheim for Geraldine Carro’s “Mothering” column where she was a mom giving guidance to other moms where she acknowledged that “motherhood rates mixed reviews” and she promised to offer opinions rather than impose them as “For too long, we’ve been living by other people’s books” and featured short pieces with titles on how to pick a pediatrician or teach the kids to cook safely. What was meant to soothe and offer empowerment ended up striking terror with warnings about all the things that could kill kids and that summer camps were the sources of “close to 100 deaths and 250,000 accidents” in 1974 and moms were urged to investigate the camp’s accreditation, the camper-counselor ratio, the number of life preservers in boats, all the codes were met by state standards, the lifeguards had Red Cross training, and all the counselors were experienced. Imagine what happened when Friday the 13th and Sleepaway Camp came out...

If you tossed your baby in the air, you could risk whiplash and hemorrhage of blood vessels feeding into the brain. But kids can’t get new babysitter and crib on the same day or kid will freak and kids got poisoned a lot from eating plants and flowers. Also kid’s sleepwear had to be flame retardant but washed with warm water, high-phosphate laundry detergent, no soap or bleach, no fabric softener or they will be rendered non-retardant. Ages where kids need to learn swimming was disputed, even Santa was scary or teaches them to lie, buy simple toys, costumes needed to be flame retardant and have reflective tape strips on the costumes and bags, kids needed flashlights or can only trick or treat in the daylight hours, kids can’t wear masks anymore, and all treats need to be examined.  Then in 1977, Carro asked how parents can protect kids without making them fearful. Hrrrrmmmmmm......

There have been missing children before in the past, even in that sweet long ago when people hardly bothered to lock their front doors at night, one of the most notorious early cases that have been exploited by the media was the Etan Patz case where 6 year old Etan was kidnapped in downtown New York City on May 1979, before getting on his school bus, there was a huge effort to find him locally and in the media but the case has remained unsolved until 2010 when his killer was found and it was 9 years since he was declared dead. Perhaps the most influential case was that of Adam Walsh, son of John Walsh from America’s Most Wanted, who was kidnapped from the toy department at a Florida store and was made into a TV movie. In March 1984, the missing for a month ten year old Kevin Collins made the cover of Newsweek magazine. The media had exploited these tragic cases with wildly exaggerated figures soon circulated in the media, what was a small number of cases became sensationalized to make people think kids were being snatched every time they took a breath.

On March 28 1984 NBC’s Tom Brokaw reported “The fear is thick around Denver these days. A number of kidnappings have made everyone nervous--parents, children, and police.” Parents were driving their kids to school rather than let them wait on the bus stop and left the school after seeing their kid enter the building, such stories hardly explored what could be done as a society and community to protect children. No you were on your own.

Late March 1984, headlines talked about a daycare on Manhattan Beach, California, this daycare being McMartin Preschool where seven nursery teachers were arraigned on over 100 counts of child molestation. Virginia McMartin, age 76 and on a wheelchair, presided over the day care center where she and her family members allegedly drugged, fondled, and molested at least 125 children and killed cuddly animals in front of them. 90% of Los Angeles residents surveyed believed that Ray Buckey and his grandmother Virginia to be guilty. Children were interviewed by therapists where they were videotaped and used puppets. As it turned out, the children were badgered by therapists who used leading questions and threats to get the kids talking. From 1989 to 1990, California received at least 440, 000 reports of child abuse, 84% deemed to be unfounded, and 8,448 of the cases were defined as sexual abuse. Suddenly, as the media warned, you couldn’t trust very many people with your children. In other news, the founder of Children’s Theater Company in Minneapolis, John Clark Donahue was forced to resign after allegations of molesting three boys and Little Rascals Day Care in North Carolina became notorious when it was the owner and cook (owner’s conviction was overturned). There was news of fathers molesting their daughters. On May 21st, there was a Los Angeles teacher brought to court on charges of molestation at the elementary school and both ABC and CBS reported that a religious boarding school for boys in Walterboro, South Carolina had beaten and abused boys. Then in June, CBS and ABC reported on a fundamentalist commune in Island Pond, Vermont that was raided with 100 children taken from their homes because it was alleged their elders and parents abused them. The FBI got involved, saying groups of people abuse kids and circulate a book titled “How to Have Sex with Kids”. Obviously these stories had the subtext that no place was safe. In 1985, CBS announced that a church run day care had children suffering broken bones linked to violence (a total of eleven broken arms and legs) and Missouri exempted church run centers from licensing. 

Even “Rockwellian”, small-town, Christian (and White) American places were dens of abuse. Jordan, Minnesota featured 24 defendants (factory workers, housewives, and a grandma) who were part of a “sex ring” and charged with more than 400 counts of sexually abusing dozens of children including their own kids. As Michaels and Douglas noted, a central theme was the failure of government agencies to oversee day care centers and catch molestation in time but Reagan’s administration kept their fingers in their ears singing “La la la can’t hear you la la la”. Geraldo Rivera did a sensationalist show on Satanism that played on adult fears of their teens. And Priests were being outed as having molested altar boys and other young men, like a priest in Henry, Louisiana where he admitted sexually abusing at least 35 boys and was sentenced to 20 years hard labor. The media was talking childhood abuse more seriously with 22% of adults saying they were victims of sexual abuse as children who never told anyone or when they did, nothing was done to the abuser. 

Back to old Virginia McMartin, follow-up stories assuring people that child care centers weren’t dens of rampant abuse weren’t publicized for example. Raymond Buckey’s defense attorney found two doctors who said that one of the children told them that it was his own father who “poked” him in the anus and the boy’s mother Judy Johnson who circulated the charges against them was known to be mentally ill and had trouble distinguishing between what’s real and what’s not. She also accused a Los Angeles school board member of molesting her son and claimed kid was injured by an elephant and forced to drink baby’s blood. The children initially denied abuse, Kee MacFarlane the therapist had the kids name gas station attendants, community leaders, and store clerks as molesters and she came up with the name “naked movie star” for a game the teachers supposedly made the kids play. Jurors viewing the tapes of the interviews were appalled and it turned out Kee had an affair with Wayne Satz, television reporter for KABC who broke the McMartin story. After nearly 6 years and $15 million, Ray Buckey and his mother were found not guilty and there was a hung jury and still not found guilty. Sadly he was viewed as a loner who liked to go commando in shorts and a mama’s boy with more shorts than brains. Virginia died in 1995, Peggy McMartin Buckey died in 2000, and Ray Buckey who was incarcerated for five years during the trials later went to law school and changed his name and moved elsewhere to have a family. Meanwhile in Jordan, cases were falling apart with one couple getting aquitted and vowed to regain custody of their three sons. Only one person plead guilty: James Rud, who lied and implicated others. 

“It was all Momma’s fault!” I’m exaggerating but the public imagination linked day care centers with child sexual abuse, molesters targeted kids from “broken homes” (read single moms not like dysfunctional families with distant parents) and you couldn’t trust Mr. Wilson next door. The subtext clearly targeting working mothers or moms considering going into the workplace and leaving their kids in programs after school before picking them up. Of course Susan Faludi in her book Backlash, revealed that kids were twice as likely to be abused at home than in day care but media panics tend to focus on what’s juicy rather than facts. In her study of working moms in magazines, Kathryn Keller stated:

Each negative image of day care and the implication behind it that women should not be working but should be at home with their children was countered by a positive image.

Moms were surrounded by mixed messages that served them guilt and paranoia, it was nice that issues that were swept under the rug were given the attention they deserved, but it was used as an indictment of non-traditional family structures and women not feeling they have to sacrifice their autonomy at the service of their families or stay in terrible marriages for “the good of the children”. It’s best I leave this dreary part (before heading to sitcoms and humor and magazines) with Tamme Dawson from GLOW to empower all women and snap back at the powers that be.

[imaginexmeintheuniverse]

Ok girlie I see your tags on the prompts and I’m. Here. For. It. Please do i’m the only one who gets your costume and apparently that makes you wanna rip my clothes off with my baby Peter maximoff I’m so freaking thirsty for him

i’m the only one whogets your costume and apparently that makes you wanna rip my clothes off +we’re secret friends with benefits and you accidentally wore my shirt to theparty so you’re pretending you came as me and it turns out your impression ofme is on point and you know me better than I know myself are you sure you’renot in love with me??

Word count: 1, 845

A/N: GIRL I GOT YOU

“I thought you said you weren’t going to dress up forthis,” Peter appears before you with a gust of wind that blows your loosehair back.

Raising an eyebrow at him, you lift your arms up at theelbows and reply, “I’m not…?”

The corners of his mouth curl up in a smirk as he looks youup and down, and realizes you aren’t aware that you’re wearing his shirt. Thelook of utter confusion on your face changes slowly as you look down to see thefamiliar Pink Floyd Dark Side of the Moonalbum cover print on the front of your— well, Peter’s t-shirt.

“Shit.”You curse under your breath, hoping no one else will notice that the shirt yourwearing isn’t yours.

“Hey, isn’t that Peter’s shirt?” Jubilee chirps,popping up out of nowhere with Kurt by her side and you start to panic becausethat really didn’t take long. Normally,you probably wouldn’t make a huge deal about wearing a friend’s shirt, butPeter isn’t like the rest of your friends, given the circumstances whichresulted in you wearing it. You had stayed in Peter’s bed while he was gettinghis costume ready after your, ehm, activitiesearlier. Long story short, you must have left too quickly and picked up thewrong shirt from the pile of clothes on the floor as you made your swift exit.

“Uh, y-yeah—” you stutter, completely caughtoff-guard, and as if on cue, the rest of the squad shows up. Great.

“Is Y/N wearing Peter’s shirt?” Scott asks,slightly confused.

“Yeah,” Peter interjects, saving you from beinggrilled. “I’m so much cooler than all of you that she decided to dress upas me.”

“Wow, Y/N,” Warren dramatically puts a hand overhis chest. “I thought we had something special.”

“Way to put some effort into your costume,” Jean snorts,her lips curved in a teasing grin.

“Yeah, it seems like she’s just missing a little—”Peter zooms off before finishing his sentence, and as per usual, he’s back asfast as he left. You don’t have time to blink before you find yourself with hissilver leather jacket around your shoulders and he’s grinning down at you as hegently places his goggles on your head. You smile back up at him, silentlythanking him as you slide your arms through the sleeves of his flashy jacket.

“And what are you supposed to be?” Jubilee asks, examiningPeter like he’s a foreign entity.

It takes you no time at all recognize Peter’s costume; apin-striped suit, the jacket a little wide and boxy, his hair is slicked down,and to top it all off, a pencil moustache. You and Peter spent hoursmarathoning the Addams Family on old recorded tapes, how could you not know?

“I think he’s supposed to be a gangster like from thoseold movies you showed me,” Kurt guesses, and Peter shakes his head inresponse.

“I’m actually—”

“I think you gangster costume is missing a fedora,”Scott comments, and Peter drags out an exasperated sigh.

“All right, I give up,” Peter throws his hands upin surrender. “I’m gonna go get a drink.”

The crowd parts as he speeds his way through to therefreshments table— which at this point, is a punch bowl mixed withgod-knows-what, with  a stack of cups anda few bottles of different drinks and alcohol. Meanwhile, you and the rest ofthe group start to converse, dance, and play Halloween-themed party games. Uponrequest, you start doing your impression of Peter— which you totally nail— andhave everyone in a fit of laughter as the night goes on.

You can only dance around and play party games so muchbefore you become a sweaty mess, so you make a short trip to the bathroom tocool down. When you exit, you see Peter leaning back on the wall of thehallway, waiting for you with a red cup in each hand, one of which he holds outto you.

“Merci,”You accept the cup with a sly smile, and he seems taken aback. You eyes don’tleave his as you bring the cup up to your lips and you see his slightlysurprised expression change to a pleased one. “Don’t think I haven’tnoticed your costume, mon chérie.”

“Cara mía,”A smile takes over his features and there is nothing he can do to stop it. Infact, he’d be telling the biggest lie he’s ever told if he said that you beingthe only person to get his costume andspeaking French didn’t turn him on.

“So, what do you think of my impression of you?”you ask, a playful smirk curving your lips.

“It could use some work,” he says nonchalantly, shiftingso that his side leans on the wall.

“Please,”You roll your eyes, and punch him lightly on the bicep. “I totally nailedyou!”

“Yeah you did,” he smirks, as you mentally slapyourself because you should have seen it coming. “Speaking of which,”He takes a step closer to you and his voice takes on a mischievous tone. Yourchests are mere inches apart, and as the seconds pass, Peter  gets increasingly impatient. All he wants todo is tear your— err— his clothes offof you. “We should totally go somewhere and get weird with eachother.”

Dismissing his last comment, you take another sip of yourdrink. “I’ve got you pinned—”

“Yeah you will—”

“I know you better than you know yourself.” Yourgaze bores into his big brown eyes . His pupils are totally blown and there’s ahint of something else you can’t quite put your finger on. The tension onlythickens between you and him, and it feels different than the usual sexualbuild up. It’s the same feeling that made you rush out of his room earlier.

That feeling was so small when you and Peter first startedyour— for lack of a better word— arrangement.You were friends, but not that close; he was attractive, but not someone yousaw as a romantic prospect. As the weeks passed, you started hanging aroundmore with him afterwards, and him with you. Like every friends-with-benefitsagreement, you’re supposed to call it off the second someone catches feelings,but as you realized that afternoon, it turns out you’ve been repressing a lotof feelings for a while now.

To make things more confusing, it was something so simplethat brought on your great epiphany. You had stayed in his bed after sex,clothed in nothing but your underwear and one of his oversized sweaters whilehe showered. He came back to find you had fallen asleep, and woke you up withthe sweetest kiss. His lips felt softer than usual, he smelled of soap, and thewet tips of his hair tickled your cheeks. The smile you saw when you openedyour eyes, made you feel like you were exactly where you were supposed to be.The second he turned around and headed to his closet, it hit you all at onceand you panicked. That’s when you ditched the sweater and left in a hurry,picking up the wrong shirt in the process.

Going through your memory, you swear there are times wherehe had those feelings. Every time, you got scared and must have thought aboutcalling the whole thing off a dozen times, but you and him fell into a grooveand somewhere along the way you subconsciously got attached. And now, as hestands in front of you, you search his eyes for that same spark and you’re moreconfused than ever.

“So you’ve been paying attention to me,” You snortat the cocky expression on his face, once again repressing the hell out of yourfeelings and keep up the back and forth flirting game the two of you alwaysplay. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re in love with me.”

“Don’t flatter yourself—” You tip your cup andgulp down the rest of whatever liquid is in it— it tastes like rum and coke,but not quite the same. “We made rules for a reason, remember?” Ruleswhich you’ve already broken.

After all this time you’d think you’d be used to it, but itfeels like all oxygen has escaped your lungs when you notice that his lips are real close to yours. His eyes dart downand come back up to meet yours. “Are you sure you’re not in love with me,Y/L/N?” He’s giving you major heart palpitations and your stomach is doingsome crazy flips, but you definitely can’t tell him that.

“Don’t push it, Maximoff.” You crush the empty cupin your hand and watch it turn to dust and eventually disappear as you vaporizeit. “I’ll see you later— my room.” He’s not sure what it is aboutthat that kind of turns him on, but he definitely doesn’t hate it. Spinning onyour heel, you call over your shoulder as you make your way back to the party, “Andget rid of the pencil stache!”

Before you can join back with the rest of the squad, you’restopped by your best friend— and she just about startled the crap out of you.“So, were you ever going to tell me about you and Peter?”

“Were you eavesdropping?!”

“How long have you guys been a thing?”

“Were you— uh we're— we’re not a thing—”

“I’m gonna take a wild guess… three months?”

“Accurate.”

You and Jean keep going back and forth, her firing questionsat you, and you trying your best to dodge them until she asks the one thatstops you.

“How long have you been in love with him?”

You freeze for a moment before turning into a stutteringmess. “I-I- love? P-Peter? No— I don't—” You think your heart mightjump right out of your chest and you jump to the first conclusion you can thinkof. “You read my mind?!”

“Not yours,”she specifies, eyes darting over to where Peter is dancing like a mad man.“It’s hard not to hear histhoughts when he’s pretty much screaming them, trust me I’ve tried.”

“I swear I wanted to tell you, but we agreed on certain,ehm, terms and conditions when thisstarted— we thought it would be better if no one knew.”

“It’s okay,” you’re a little surprised, but gladthat she’s hugging you instead of being salty about not telling her. You’re notsure why you expected anything different, she’s always been supportive. “Butare you sure you’re not in love withhim?” It’s almost chilling; those same words came from Peter just momentsago. You look over to where he’s dancing like a total dad, and that samefeeling washes over you again. You’re not sure whether or not you can lie toyour best friend— it wouldn’t make a difference even if you did because youboth already know the answer to that question.

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