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piratefalls · 1 year ago

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“You are", he says, "the absolute worst idea I've ever had.” - me @ ao3 after watching the movie and thinking "there's probably fic for this."

i like lists. i've lost sleep reading fic like it's gonna disappear the second i look away. i'm making my problem yours. i'm sure a lot of these won't be new to people since they pre-date the movie and it's far from comprehensive but. i'm late to this party. i also can't make gifs, so enjoy the basic canva header.

(baby) don't make me spell it out by extasiswings

One night near the end of first semester 1L finals, just a few weeks before the two-year anniversary of their first kiss, Alex finds himself looking up from his desk with its messy piles of color-coded notes and tabbed textbooks to see Henry asleep on the couch, clearly having dozed off waiting for him to come to bed, and unbidden he thinks, God, I’m going to marry this man. It startles him, the spike of adrenaline that floods through him waking him up and bringing the parts of his brain turning over concepts like proximate cause and strict liability to a standstill as he stares at Henry. I want to marry this man.

God Save the Blessed American President Mom by zipadeea

["June stopped by at lunch; she showed me a delightful channel called Hallmark, which repeats the same story every hour after they swap one round of white, straight, small-town conventionally beautiful actors for another. It was entertaining.” “June and I used to play a drinking game with those. Take a shot every time someone goes ice skating, sledding, or leaves the big city for their tiny hometown.” “Good lord, you must’ve been sloshed in the first ten minutes.”] -- On December 4, 2021, an attempt is made on President Ellen Claremont's life. Alex gets shot instead.

Familiar Gravity by cmere

“Yeah,” Alex breathes, and he pulls back to look Henry in the eyes. “I’ve been fantasizing about you fucking me in this chair for, like, weeks. Every time you sit down here with your stupid book.” Henry likes it when Alex speaks Spanish and Alex has a request.

Am I the Asshole? by everwitch

AITA for spending Valentine’s Day with my roommate instead of my boyfriend? It’s well past midnight on a Saturday and hardly the first time Alex has scrolled aimlessly on his phone instead of trying to sleep, but it’s definitely the first goddamn time Alex has discovered his roommate has made a lengthy post about last night’s curry debacle to r/AmItheAsshole — a post that’s apparently gone fucking viral. -- In which Alex and Henry are college roommates, and a few thousand strangers think they should fuck.

Everybody needs good neighbours by railmedaddy

To nora(9.37pm): So a funny thing happened My hot neighbour brought me the mcflurry i ordered and we fucked From nora (9.38pm): WHAT DETAILS NOW Which neighbour? Wait, you only have one hot neighbour. Alex, did you fuck a guy?!?!?! ALEX Or Alex meets a hot new neighbour. Shenanigans ensue.

A Picture on Your Corkboard by bleedingballroomfloor

It happens on a random morning in May when Alex, age fourteen, pads into the kitchen to greet his mother and steal a waffle from June's plate and sees a man sitting at their breakfast counter, reading a newspaper, a cup of coffee raised to his lips. Like he belongs. Like it's the most natural thing in the world. June doesn't seem to give the man a second thought. She merely flicks Alex on the forehead and takes back the waffle. Ellen isn't worrying, either. In fact, she's talking to him. Asking what his schedule is like. Making plans for dinner. Alex has never seen this man before in his life.

this is the worthwhile fight by dearhappy

It's not that Henry's scared of their future, he's never been more sure of anything in his life. The thing is they're still trying to figure out how that future is going to look. And he worries about how it'll affect Alex's career in politics.

Déjame Ver Cómo Es Que Floreces by 14carrotgold

Oscar gets in close and bluntly asks, “Earlier. In the bathroom. Did you do it?” Alex scoffs, “No. Don't be a perv. Why would you wanna know that anyway?” Oscar rolls his eyes. “Mind out of the gutter, chamaco. Did you propose?” Ah. - Henry is introduced to the extended Diaz side of the family at their matriarch's birthday. Shenanigans (and romance and feelings) ensue.

Please Don't Let Me Be So Understood by chamel

“I’m glad you both see it that way,” Dr. Chen says. Then she closes her notebook and folds her hands on top of it. “I think I’m starting to get a sense of where the issues lie. The good news is that you’re both here, and you’re both willing to work on this relationship. That’s promising. Not all of the couples I see are even at that point.” “Sorry, what?” Henry says, voicing Alex’s stuttering thoughts as well. (After one too many fights at work, Henry and Alex are assigned mandatory reconciliation therapy by their boss. Except the therapist thinks they're there for couples therapy... and surely, a bet on who will break first makes more sense than actually correcting her, right?)

Such a Burden, This Flame on My Chest by allmylovesatonce

Alex Claremont-Diaz is relocating back to Austin to join his dad's firehouse. His days as a firefighter in Washington D.C. ended badly, but no one knows that, or knows why. And he plans to keep that close to his chest. He has to shove it back down if he wants to seem like a normal person, if he wants to do the job, if he wants to get along with his new crew, and most of all, if he wants to get to know the hot British firefighter on the squad. No one can know what really happened.

thinking (about last night) by rhosyn_du

“I hope you know that I am literally never going to stop reminding you that you said that. I’m going to, like, take out an ad in the student paper. Maybe hire a skywriter or something. I am definitely telling Pez." "I hate you," Henry tells him. "Lies," Alex says, still laughing. "You know you love me." Henry lets out a heavy sigh. "Well," he says softly, "that's rather the problem, isn't it?" “What, you think we’d be better off if we still hated each other?” “I think," Henry says slowly, "I’d be better off if I could figure out how to stop being so stupidly in love with you.” It takes a few seconds for the words to really register, as distracted as Alex is by the heat of Henry’s breath and wondering how much it would cost to actually hire a skywriter. Once they do, it takes a full minute before Alex can move. Can breathe. Can think. Finally, he forces out a whispered, “What?” When that gets no response, he tries again. This time, his voice actually cooperates. “Wait, what?” The only response he gets is a soft snore and Alex realizes that Henry, the utter fucking asshole, has passed out on his shoulder.

you're the reason i let myself fall by perfect-porcelain (tedddylupin)

Alex doesn't quite know what to expect when he walks into a room with a glowing screen separating him from the person in the other pod. The entire experience makes him skeptical. How can you fall in love with someone you've never met? Or: Love is Blind AU

Sharper Head, Wilder Heart by Dawg1515

"This could work out,” Henry offers. “It could,” Alex replies. “That’s good, then. Someone’s going to have to walk me through the brilliance of Empire Strikes Back, after all.” “Sweetheart, if we’re legitimately dating now, I’m forcing you to watch every movie that has Harrison Ford in it.” “Duly noted.” Or: When the Queen decides it’s time for Henry to settle down with a woman, she arranges a courtship between him and Alex Claremont-Diaz, closeted political powerhouse. Alex secretly tells Henry he’s trans, and Henry tells Alex that he’s gay. To say they become an amazing couple would be an understatement—but nothing is ever that easy for a prince and a president’s son.

every version of you (i love) by coffeecatsme

“So,” the voice narrates as the man squishes the dog’s cheeks and laughs at himself. “There’s this guy that lives next to me with the cutest beagle in the world and this little guy climbs to the fence every day to drop his toys off at, like, 5:30 on the dot, I’m not kidding.” The camera shows the man boop the dog’s nose and press a little kiss to his forehead. There’s a ball in his hands that he hands to the dog, but it slips from his mouth all over again, making the man reach down to grab it. He glares at the dog, but even then he’s still smiling. “And this guy always walks by and picks up the stuff and it’s the cutest fucking thing ever you have no idea.” The camera zooms in farther into the man’s smile, genuine and wild, as he pushes his wild curls away from his face. His eyes flicker up when another figure walks into the frame, his blonde hair falling over his forehead in waves. The man’s smile, impossibly, widens. “Oh. I’m also pretty sure he has a crush on my neighbor.” Or, 5 times David greets Alex with something that belongs to Henry, and 1 time he greets Alex with something that belongs to both of them.

The Duke Who Loved Me by annesbonny, Inareskai, schmulte

This Author knows as well as anyone how much you, gentle readers, enjoy a scandal and a love story. And what could bring more delight that two young gentlemen who bring both of those wherever they go? Join the Duke of Mountchristen and the, untitled, Mr Claremont-Diaz as they attempt to find a Love Match amongst the gossip of the ton.

The Edge of Glory by politics_and_prose

Subject: CD-10 To: Alex Claremont-Diaz ([email protected]) From: Natasha Wallace ([email protected]) Alex - You know how you jokingly told me to let you know when Mayfield was vulnerable and/or not seeking re-election? Tash

lying in the low light by smc_27

The thing about having a one night stand with the guy your sister is close friends with and gatekept from you is that it becomes really fucking important that she never knows. Or, Alex and Henry have a one year stand. Or, Alex and Henry are in a relationship, only they’re the only ones who don’t know it.

what we might do (if we stop keeping a secret) by indomitablelove

'This isn't how I wanted to tell people. I thought we'd get the chance to do it right.' - Red, White and Royal Blue, Casey McQuiston, p.327 --- or, in another world, Alex and Henry get to do it right.

Who Could Love You The Same as I by MariaDmitrievnaLikesSundays

Inside was exactly what Alex had found himself dreaming about ever since that night at Kensington. The kind of dreams that he forced himself to forget once he woke up, but dreams all the same. A gold band, simple and smooth, with a single square diamond embedded on top. It was small, modest, exactly to Alex’s taste. ”Holy shit,” he said again. “Holy shit.” That was a ring. That was, unmistakably, an engagement ring. Hidden in his boyfriend’s coat. And he had just found it.

—— Or, Alex finds the engagement ring that Henry had hidden, and does exactly what you’d expect him to.

As the World Falls Down by 3bowtruckles

So while we all knew that the 2020 written in the book would be glorious fiction, we didn’t realize that reality would throw us something to take 2020 even further away from the book’s events. This story is where I attempt to merge our 2020 reality and the fiction of RWRB, using research (a LOT of research) to try to figure out what the trajectory of reality might have been. The story starts picking up the timeline after their late-February trip to Paris. After that, it's strictly AU, but I try to keep a lot of the intents of the events in the book (for instance, Alex's trip to confront Henry in Britain after the lake) while still making them fit the narrative I've created.

We'll Change the World Yet to our Dessire [sic] by cresswells

Alex and Henry are engaged and ready to share their announcement with the world, but after the media circus surrounding their forced outing Queen Mary wants them to do things properly this time. To Alex’s surprise, ‘properly’ apparently means taking a Royal Tour around Europe as an official couple. Ten days, five countries and lots of unnecessary wardrobe changes. What could possibly go wrong?

where clouds look like mountains by weather_stained

Four months after the election, while still learning to navigate the complexities of being in a public relationship, Alex finally has the chance to show Henry around Austin.

We'll Invite Something In by smc_27

Alex is grinning a little too hard. This is absolutely idiotic and pointless and fun. The cover of Hello UK with a photo of him pulled out and a photo of His Royal Highness Prince Henry Fox-Mountchristen whatever the hell the rest of his names are (Alex knows; he being a dick) with the admittedly stupid but flattering headline which reads: His Royal Highness: He’s just like us and crushes on Pres ACD.

Henry's Cold, Empty Tower by DracoWillHearAboutThis

“I want you,” Henry said, slowly but clearly, “to leave.” When Alex storms Kensington Palace, Henry sends him away. Then, their relationship gets leaked, and it's Henry's turn to fight for Alex.

behind the diamond-shaped glass by Celaestis

Five times Alex and Henry used tea and biscuits to communicate, and one time they don't need to.

The Byline by rosetintednerdglasses

Press Secretary Alex Claremont-Diaz serves at the pleasure of the President, and he does it excellently until a new White House correspondent darkens his press room: Henry Fox, The Guardian.

we've been here forever (here's the frozen proof) by r_holland

Objectively, I am aware that you – a stranger – cannot tell me my own sexuality any better than I can, however... Can you, please? Tell me? It’s 4am and I have been thinking about this for hours, and I can’t sleep. Warmest regards, ACD *** It’s four in the morning, and Alex Claremont-Diaz has managed to follow a research spiral straight down into a personal crisis. It isn’t the first time.

words on the tip of your tongue (but please don't say them) by viciouslyqueer

So close. He was so close to saying those words that have lived inside him for so long, and now it's gone, a moment that slipped right between his fingertips before he could grasp it. Now he’s floating in the middle of the lake alone, the ghost of Henry’s touch still lingering on his skin and an unknown, heartbreaking feeling in his chest. — Or: canon-divergence where Henry doesn't leave the lake house.

The Grand Tour by lucky (revolutionbarbie)

When Henry returned from an audience with Queen Mary looking stony faced and grim, Alex had immediately feared the worst. She had requested to see Henry – and Henry alone – the moment their plane had landed at Heathrow on a visit to Pez’s new shelter in London. Alex had suggested that they go to see her together just to spite the old hag, but Henry wanted to keep the peace. Since moving to Brooklyn, they had entered into an uncomfortable détente with Queen Mary and Henry was loathe to be the one to break it. “She wants us to go to Australia. It would be an unofficial Royal Tour, of sorts, with stops in several cities and a short visit to New Zealand. Three and a half weeks in total.” “She wants to send us on an all-expenses paid Australian getaway? Count me in.”

come and get me by rizcriz

The email arrives 8 days after Henry left the lake house. He contemplates deleting it without reading, but it sits in his Alex inbox, where there are over seventy emails favourited, and somehow it feels wrong and weirdly impersonal. As if leaving without a note were any different. He stares at the from line with an aching longing that seeps into his veins. It settles on his heart like a tangible thing; something warranted and cruel that casts shackles around the aorta and locks them tight so that he might never love again. -- or, alex sends an email instead of flying to KP.

Never Did Run Smooth by clottedcreamfudge

"You and me? Best friends. Stellar. Love that for us. But we could absolutely fake being in love. Dating. Whatever. I know literally everything about you—" (No you don't, Henry thinks firmly) "—and you know everything about me. We would absolutely fucking annihilate the other contestants.” "You're too drunk to apply," Henry points out, like he himself isn't about as wasted as it's possible for him to be without curling up and going immediately to sleep. "I doubt you could spell your own name right on the application. Or mine." Alex grins and pulls something up on his phone; it looks like it takes him a few tries. "Wanna fucking bet?" *** Or: Henry's life is a comedy of errors; a patchwork of oopsie-daisies; a quilt stitched together with hauntingly terrible mistakes. And at the centre of it all is his best friend, Alex Claremont-Diaz; director of said comedy, threading together his oopsie-daisies into a flower crown, rolling around in the quilt of his own making, and this analogy is going to shit because Henry's so in love with him he wants to die.

idk I'll do a part two if anyone wants.

#rwrb #firstprince #red white and royal blue #fic rec #fic rec list #i try not to do multiple authors on the same list so #just assume if they're here i read all their stuff plus their bookmarks lmao #for the record I have 100% read the book I just didn't think there'd be fic for it lmao #rwrb rec list

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antiquepearlss · 3 months ago

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You can't tell me that both Varian and Hugo have a Twilight movie marathon every weekend just to make fun of the characters.

Oh for sure. I think Varian genuinely did really like the movies and the books when he was younger, but now he cringes when he watches the movies lol.

I feel like Hugo and Varian watch a lot of “bad” stuff to make fun of them. Bad movies, bad YouTube videos, bad tv shows, etc. Specifically they love the really cheap movies with terrible writing. Or Hallmark movies. I can so see Hugo having a commentary YouTube channel and Varian joining, and they watch shit like Velocipastor together. That’s their date night.

#Varian was such a twilight stan and was fully team Edward and romanticized them so much #He cringes so so hard when Hugo finds out #And just dies when Eugene and Lance do #tts #tangled the series #rapunzel's tangled adventure #varian #Varigo

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msnihilist · 1 year ago

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I read something about adult/teenage Phinabella going back to Paris to redo their little trip to the "City of Love" that went wrong in Summer Belongs To You, and... I don't know, I just kind of hate that?

I hate it because it's boring. I can literally grab any book from Walmart with a shirtless man on the cover and read about a whirlwind romance in Paris or turn on the Hallmark channel and see the same thing set in some Christmas town, and blah blah blah, it's the same shit I've seen my entire life.

The whole point of the Phinabella arc in SBTY is that Isabella realized wanting a storybook, traditional romance out of Phineas is wrong. It's something she expects out of love, but not something she should expect out of him. Narratively, this is reinforced because every dynamic in Paris goes sour. Candace and Jeremy don't have their kiss until they're home (because he met her halfway, get it?), Vanessa leaves Ferb alone on the Eiffel Tower, Phineas is more interested in bolts and blowtorches than romance, and that's good because that's who he is.

He's not the kind of guy who's going to sit down, relax, and watch a beautiful sunset with the girl he loves, and Isabella doesn't want him to be that person. She loves him for his weird-shaped head, and how he uses big words to explain simple concepts, and even in her birthday song about wanting to be alone with him for one day, Isabella is perfectly content to help Phineas on one of his projects by handing him the tools he needs.

Phineas doesn't show his love by getting someone flowers or chocolates or a spontaneous vacation to Paris. His love language is acts of service and quality time. He is perfectly content to spend a whole day with Ferb, doing nothing at all. He will make an entire styrofoam town at the mere suggestion that Buford can't risk getting any bruises. He fretted like crazy over Isabella's birthday gift and felt so bad when he thought it had been ruined.

Phineas literally goes crazy when he can't invent, and Isabella would never want him to change that part of himself — because if he did, he wouldn't be the boy she loves.

He would just be another normal guy, and their romance would be another normal story.

And I think Phineas and Isabella would both hate that.

#phineas and ferb #phinabella #idk just some Thoughts™ that I wanted to get out there #I dislike when people make their relationship normal #let these two be little weirdos!!#isabella LOVES phineas' inventions and she loves him for everything that makes him weird

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sebarial-the-economist · 20 days ago

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10 People I'd Like to Get to Know Better

I was tagged by @whenthegoldenrays! A couple of the questions differ slightly but I’ll just combine them all 😊

last song: "Friday" by Rebecca Black (had to educate my kid about internet history.)

favorite color: blue

last book: I'm reading like three right now. Last one I finished was Persuasion by Jane Austen

last movie: A December Bride (Hallmark Channel) watched it with my husband because it was so unhinged and I had to experience it with someone

last tv show: Phineas and Ferb

sweet/savory/spicy: sweet

current obsession: The Stormlight Archive (most recent book just came out and I've been anticipating it for months and will be analyzing it for probably months too)

relationship status: married

last thing I googled: How long will streaming Wicked be expensive?

looking forward to: being with my last experiment so I can finish my Master's thesis and graduate

tags!! ✨

@great-and-small @kaladinsspear @mollywog @jennagill @norbertsmom @clawedandcute @truthwatcherblog @cosmereplay @cosmerelists @inardentdaylight

No pressure, but I think tag games are fun!

#Tag game

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holymolyfizzie · 29 days ago

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been thinking over how much of hell's culture is driven by lower class hellborns, particularly imps. and how that means even a shut-in Goetia like Stolas can access it easily and, in some cases, cannot avoid it

the circus is our best example of this. i don't think Stolas would've been interested in the circus on his own, but Paimon clearly enjoys going, and when Stolas is raising Via, he perceives circus shows to be the ideal family entertainment. we might even infer that Stolas has a passing familiarity with Fizz and would've recognized his rise to hell-wide fame. maybe the Goetia going to the circus isn't typical, but they're clearly aware of imp-run entertainment and will go when they please

but even the entertainment that Stolas does seek out often features imps. the romance Stolas is reading at the end of Harvest Moon is titled Imps in the Sheets, and our dear Gabriella is an imp

i'd say maybe Stolas is purposefully seeking out imp culture because of Blitz, but Apology Tour shows us that he doesn't have an issue reading romance books about (what I assume to be, from the cover) the Goetia. and i wouldn't be surprised if Stolas has been reading and watching romances for a while, long enough to give him warped little notions of a romantic relationship to project onto Blitz later

of course, i think hell's culture being largely created by the lower classes makes sense. going off the Lesser Key, there's only 72 Ars Goetia, which isn't exactly going to result in a whole of of cultural products for Stolas to consume during his many binge sessions. obviously he'd have to turn to imp culture for his romance novels and shows. sure, he's not steeped in it by any means (i don't think he knew who Verosika Mayday was in Ozzie's lol), but he's certainly had some passing familiarity with imp culture since childhood -- albeit a very idealized version of it considering he only consumes the romance genre. and there we go, my ponderings are solved!

but this kinda led me to a weird question. if Stolas is sitting down and watching the imp versions of the Hallmark channel and I Love Lucy and whatnot, how the hell did he miss Sinsmas? this is a holiday that the imps all decorate for, that has classic old-timey and new pop songs, and most likely Sinsmas TV specials and romance novels. you just can't tell me that Gabriella didn't star in some dramatic Sinsmas special every year, or that it never came up in any of the erotica Stolas read at the dinner table. and yet, nothing, he hasn't heard of it

idk i'm just really curious as to where exactly Stolas' knowledge of imp life extends and stops & even what misconceptions he might have had, considering the idealized media he regularly consumes

#this had to have been an exposition device #but i thought of it last night and went like. Wait.#i have a lot of Thoughts about how stolas interacts w the world around him ok

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hallmark-movie-fanatics · 10 months ago

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#blind date book club #spring into love #hallmark channel #first look #photo preview #erin krakow #robert buckley #hallmark movies

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watchinghallmark · 7 months ago

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Junebug - August 3rd on Hallmark Channel

Juniper, a book editor turning 40, is magically reconnected with an eight-year-old version of herself who questions her life choices, including the dream of writing her own stories. Starring Autumn Reeser and Aaron O’Connell.

#junebug #autumn reeser #aaron o'connell #hallmarkedit

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askamydaily · 9 months ago

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FINALLY ...

I don't have to care about gender reveal parties.

(The following column runs in newspapers across the country on May 24th, 2024)

Dear Readers: After 21 years writing the “Ask Amy” column, I’m announcing that I’m leaving this space. My final column will run at the end of June.

I’m healthy, happy, and 64-years-old. This is a decision I’ve been wrestling with for over a year.

When I was first hired by the Chicago Tribune to write an advice column after Ann Landers’ death, I was a middle-aged single mother. My daughter Emily and I moved from our long-time home in Washington DC and relocated to Chicago.

[Emily and Amy, Freeville, NY. Photo by Chris Walker for the Chicago Tribune]

My welcome to Chicago was to deliver a solo performance of “Take Me Out to the Ball Game” in front of 35,000 baseball fans during the 7th inning stretch of a Cubs game at Wrigley Field.

This turned out to be a metaphor for my experience writing this column, which has been an exuberant and sometimes nerve-wracking effort of trying to hit the right notes before a huge audience.

After several great years in Chicago, Emily left for college and I moved back to my tiny hometown of Freeville, NY (pop. 505), to spend time with my sisters, aunts and cousins, and to be with my mother at the end of her life.

My experiences have mirrored those of many of my readers. For me, these last two decades have been about the intensity and consequences of both love and loss.

After returning home, I promptly tumbled into a Hallmark Channel plotline, when I fell in love with and quickly married a man I’ve known since childhood (we grew up on neighboring dairy farms). My husband Bruno and I then blundered into the oftentimes awkward blending of our family of five daughters.

[2008, Freeville, NY]

I became a stepmother, and then a grandmother, all before I believed I was ready.

My mother and her three wonderful sisters are gone, now. A niece and nephew died, tragically, while in their teens. Much of my recent life has been absorbed by caregiving, mourning, and recovery.

Day in, day out -- over the last two decades – readers have generously shared their own vulnerabilities about many of our common experiences. I’m grateful that we’ve been able to help each other.

I’ve burned through eight laptops, opened bushels of postal mail, written columns in the car, on board planes, in hospital waiting rooms, on my honeymoon, and at my mother’s bedside. During this time, I’ve also written two books, a screenplay, and scores of essays.

Doing this work has sent me into therapy. It has inspired me to explore the teachings of world religions, and to seek the insight of thinkers like Joseph Campbell and Carl Jung. I’ve quoted the wisdom of Maya Angelou, Joni Mitchell and Fred Rogers -- as well as dozens of poets, social scientists and psychologists.

I’ve made my share of mistakes, been well-pranked – at least twice (that I know of), and learned how to apologize, ask for forgiveness, and to forgive other people for their own mistakes. Inspired by readers’ dilemmas, I’ve also worked hard to mend fractured family relationships and to be a better friend.

My personal experiences are a reminder that we humans can’t really control what happened before or what happens next. Joy, like grief, comes at you in such unexpected ways. That’s why it is so important to pay attention. I’ve learned to do that.

Being an advice-giver has challenged me to be aware of cultural, social, and relationship trends -- and to appreciate the quirks of human behavior.

When readers get frustrated by my lengthy answers to sometimes petty problems, they will often suggest that I should just tell people to “get a life!,” but I think that wrestling with our questions – from the quotidian to the profound – is living.

For the next month, I’ll continue to publish fresh columns and rerun some favorites. After that, my fantasy is to drive an RV across the country, visiting people I’ve met through this work who have challenged me and tantalized readers with their anonymous requests for advice.

In my hometown, I’m opening a little lending library. You can find me on social media, through my Asking Amy newsletter, at amydickinson.com, or at the Freeville Literary Society on Main Street – talking books with kids and offering advice to anyone who asks.

Love,

Amy

#ask amy #amy dickinson #relationship advice

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utopians · 1 year ago

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just curious why didn’t you like red white and royal blue !!! i haven’t watched it but i know someone who was literally raving about it so i’m curious to why you didn’t like it

oh god just a lot of things I fear... I'll try to make an itemized list of em

one of the lead actors could not act his way out of a wet paper bag. like genuinely one of the worst performances I've seen. the guy playing henry was fine but the guy playing alex was just incredibly bad and it was impossible to ignore

it was generally just. not a very good movie. like extremely twee and shallow writing. if this movie were exactly the same shot-for-shot but it featured a heterosexual couple it would be thoroughly and completely indistinguishable from any other hallmark channel drivel. I know people love to say "ohhh gay people also deserve stupid bad movies!!!" but I disagree. we should simply make good movies instead

a good amount of massively corny dialogue

the politics were just... deeply 2016. very bad. it absolutely epitomizes the whole miserable genre of liberal 'escapist fiction' that's completely focused on putting queer people or people of color in positions of power within an exploitative system instead of sparing a single thought about whether that system should exist in the first place

like sorry but writing a narrative about the british royal family where the uncritical happy ending is "adoring crowds affirm the beloved hereditary prince's place in the hereditary hierarchy" is just. come on man. come on

similarly just an absolutely uncritical and wholly positive take on the office of united states president. laughable

the whole scene where uma thurman asks alex if he's on truvada in that unbearable fake southern accent. uncanny. also texans don't sound like that

the pacing was bad, bad, baddddd. everything happened far too fast, probably as a symptom of trying to adapt a several hundred page long book into a two hour movie. it felt like I was watching some sort of abridged version of the movie for like the entire first half of the film

this is a small thing but the production value just seemed really bad. like it was serving youtube webseries. which isn't necessarily the worst thing in the world but combined with the acting and the writing it certainly didn't do the movie any favors

this is also more of a personal pet peeve and I recognize that but the score was obviously just pulled from a generic stock music library and I really hated it. it was just very obnoxious and on the nose. I get it's often unavoidable but I'm a big stock music score hater

#asked and answered

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drinkabletoxicdishsoap · 3 months ago

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ok wait come here i have a hc that jasmine has pica (the eating disorder which makes you crave inedible objects) not for anything im just tossing you my own crumbs bcuz were the only 2 fans of her out there existing (and also because if i had to explain the winn family lore i made up it would be boring)

OMG WAIT I LOVE THAT HEADCANON AHHH TYSM FOR SHARING!! She was definitely the type of kid you would see just chew on toys, paper, and crayons in kindergarten. Same thing with doll accessories or doll toys.

I feel like I have to share my Jasmine headcanons so take 30ish Jasmine headcanons!! I was going to make this a separate post but might as well share it right now :3 If I do think of more, I’ll either reblog, edit, or reply!! I’m sorry if they’re out of character or it seems like I’m projecting 💔

but I would to hear your Winn family lore!! Only if you’re comfortable with it ofc! I’m going to make a Winn headcanon list and hopefully get it out by tomorrow after or before school

you know the style decora? I personally feel like she would wear it and totally make it her whole thing!! could just me though. I feel like she could also have a scene phase too

loves to design anything with stickers. she has like a million sticker books

she would listen to silly upbeat instrumental music

she either loves to get her face paint, or loves to do it to her friends!

whenever she has a sleepover with her friends, she always ask to do karaoke with them

goes to adoption centers and fawns over the animals there

musical theatre fan.. hamilton fan even.. she knows so many musicals!! ask her about even one and she’ll infodump

paints in her free time or does art classes

i don’t know if jasmine will do a sport but if she ever does one.. I’d feel like she’d do cheer, gymnastics, or lacrosse

hear me out.. but I feel she’d be a furry and would be a fursuiter but she’d make her own costume.. maybe I’m just crazy though. It’s up to you what animal or what hybrid she’d be!!

as much as I love idea of her getting all different kinds of ice cream flavors at either an ice cream place or the grocery store, I feel like she’s scared to try new flavors and usually just sticks to one.

might as well say it now but scared of trying new things

she has so many littlest pet shops/ LPS.. she plays with them and acts out silly little scenarios with them.. my little pony toys too

she’s one of the best chalk artists you’ve ever seen and LOVES to draw with chalk

hear me out but a wings of fire fan!!

she has so.. so many rainbow looms and makes so many bracelets out of them

coloring books.. so many!! girl loves her coloring books. She colors them whenever she feels scared

takes photos with her friends or just photos in general with a Polaroid camera

2010’s music fan.. 💀💀💀💀

Sanrio fan, but more specifically usahana’s #1 fan. She loves the more obscure and underrated Sanrio characters

she only has pattern and bright colored clothing!! also so many silly and colorful socks

little sad headcanon 😞 but she overworks herself when it comes to her singing to the best possible she can be

LOVES her silly furniture!!

ANIMAL CROSSING FAN TRUST!!!!

buys the notebooks and folders for school with the silly designs

as long as the media isn’t scary, she loves her underrated/underground and obscure media

She LOVESSS animals omg. The Amazon rainforest.. she loves all of the animals on the Amazon rainforest

she LOVEESSSS frogs

if she gets braces, she WILL ask for them to be rainbow colored and you WILL make it so that they are

she’s so brainrotted sorry not sorry

rhythm game player

sonic fan

strawberry shortcake (the character 😭) fan.. and care bear fan too

Christmas is her favorite holiday.. the music.. the movies.. the crappy hallmark movies

DRAMA CHANNEL WATCHER !! she will be caught up with all of the TikTok drama don’t try her. She will rant to winn and Jasmine who just slowly nod 😭😭

That’s it 🤯 sorry it’s super long :d thank you so much for coming to another yap session! I hope you have a great day/night to whoever is reading this. thank you for sharing your silly headcanon as well! If anyone has any more headcanons, feel free to share in my inbox, reblogs, or replies!!

#fop a new wish #fopanw #fop new wish #fairly oddparents a new wish #fairly odd parents a new wish #dishie posts #fop jasmine #jasmine tran #jasmine has so much silly potential why does the fandom ignore her ☹️#hello jasmine fans do you guys even exist #jasmine fans am I invited to the fan club now ?#obsessed with jasmine she’s my daughter I’m adopting her #the jasmine fandom is dying 😞#reblog if you’re a true jasser/j #I love writing headcanons #it’s so fun

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bloopitynoot · 2 days ago

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What I read This Week: 02/02/2025

I am a librarian, and unrelated to stereotypes about my profession, I do read a metric shit-ton in a week. Most of it is fanfiction but hey, I thought maybe it's time I share my reads?

This is what I read this week:

1. Life is (not) a Hallmark Movie by mellicindi (143,334)

Summary: Shen Yuan isn't lonely. He's just overseas in a new city, trying to muddle his way through a business degree, and dealing with the side effects of his stupid intestines trying to kill him. So, maybe he sometimes watches ASMR to cope with his too-quiet apartment. Maybe he has a little bit of a parasocial-relationship-thing going on with one particular cooking ASMR channel. It's 2016, who doesn't? The point is, he's content with his quiet life.

And then Shang Qinghua strong-arms him into watching one Hallmark Christmas movie, and it all goes to hell.

Or: Shen Yuan is a Hallmark movie protagonist, Luo Binghe is a Lifetime movie protagonist, and somehow they make it work.

Part one of Is Life Perhaps a Hallmark Movie?

I love an Ace story and this was very much that

ofc the miscommunications happen- but this is the joy of bingqiu.

So sappy, so sweet in the end. 10/10 recommend if you like tropes, and cheese, and a little bit of heartbreak.

2. Heaven Official's Blessing by MXTX Chapter 30-35

Summary: Born the crown prince of a prosperous kingdom, Xie Lian was renowned for his beauty, strength, and purity. His years of dedication and noble deeds allowed him to ascend to godhood. But those who rise, can also fall…and fall he does, cast from the Heavens again and again and banished to the mortal realm.

Eight hundred years after his mortal life, Xie Lian has ascended to godhood for the third time. Now only a lowly scrap collector, he is dispatched to wander the earthly realm to take on tasks appointed by the heavens to pay back debts and maintain his divinity. Aided by old friends and foes alike, and graced with the company of a mysterious young man with whom he feels an instant connection, Xie Lian must confront the horrors of his past in order to dispel the curse of his present.

I'm just into book 3! I'm reading about a chapter a day and live blogging the experience. you can follow along on the Bloopitynoot reads TGCF tag

NO SPOILERS PLS.

So far I am loving it!

3 Hanguang-Jun and His Beloved Pet Rabbit by 96qutie (in progress fic; read chapter 29)

Summary: A gentle touch stroked his back, and Wei Ying stiffened in surprise. He looked up to find pale-gold eyes staring down at him intensely.

He gulped.

“Are you hurt?” The young cultivator asked in a soft voice, as if he expected an answer— even though he was already prodding Wei Ying’s ears and legs to see for himself. When he didn’t find evidence of injury he seemed to relax. “Are you frightened?”

If Wei Ying were human, he would have blushed and tried to crack a joke to hide it. As a rabbit, he could only kick his feet like a shy toddler.

“Wangji? I heard a commotion. Is everything alright?”

With the swiftness of a child being caught up past their bedtime, Wei Ying was shoved inside a billowing sleeve.

“Mn.”

—

This is a ‘The Disabled Tyrant’s Beloved Pet Fish’ AU for Wangxian. That series captured my heart, so then this happened. For those who don’t know that story; you don’t have to read it to read this. I don’t follow the plot at all, and I even changed the premise a bit. It’s only loosely inspired by it.

Also just to be clear: Wei Ying is not a rabbit 100% of the time.

There was an update this week on this beloved fic.

It was a SPICY chapter!

I love Freak4freak wangxian.

I don't want to spoil anything, but check it out if the summary interests you!

4 Life is (not) a Cheap Porno by mellicindi (13,127)

Summary: One year after his life mutated into a holiday-themed romance movie, Shen Yuan is happily decorating the apartment he now shares with Luo Binghe. That's right: this relationship between a lackadaisical asexual and a clingy homosexual is still going strong! So strong, in fact, that every time Luo Binghe smiles or laughs or tears up or pouts or hugs him or in general just exists, Shen Yuan wonders: wouldn't it be fine if their day-to-day stickiness got a little...stickier? After all, they already cuddle so much, what are a few extra fluids? Besides, this child is so hardworking and caring, Shen Yuan wants to give him a reward!

Only, what's this about whipped cream and lingerie? And re-negotiating the terms of service?? Hey, does all of this have to be so complicated!? He's just a lvl1 noob without any SEXP, spare him!!

[The first Extra for Life is (not) a Hallmark Movie]

Part two an extra for the series Is Life Perhaps a Hallmark Movie?

I almost could not read this fic- not because it was bad, but because the second hand embarrassment was too much!!!

Shen yuan, sweet baby. He figures it out, but oh boy.

This fic was SO FUNNY!

5 Love in Another Shape by celardor (Fic is in progress: Chapter 15 read)

Summary: After the events of the Immortal Alliance Conference, Luo Binghe and Liu Qingge find themselves suddenly dependent on one another for survival. In order to return to their beloved Shen Qingqiu, they’ll have to face down innumerable monsters, Luo Binghe’s unstable demonic powers, and their own tangled feelings.

Meanwhile, all Shen Qingqiu wants is to be left alone. Unfortunately, even with the System in hibernation he can’t seem to escape the demands of the plot. He finds himself tasked with sorting out the aftermath of the Conference, investigating a missing person case, and taking a trip to visit Liu Qingge’s family. Through it all, the narrative continues to deviate further and further from the original story Shen Qingqiu had read, ultimately leading to a discovery that could shed light on the past and bring long-buried secrets to the surface.

Part two of Love in Another Shape

This fic is in progress and honestly I totally forgot I had subscribed so I was SO happy when I got the email notification for chapter 15!

This bingliushen is a beloved series so far; this chapter was even better because they finally talked to one another :'3

They are so soft I love them.

6 Metagaming by esama (105,068)

Summary: [Self-Saving System Activated! You will be now returned to your original starting position.]

Shen Qingqiu dies and gets a second chance and decides to try a different approach.

Part one of Master of Dual Cultivation series

So listen, I am here for Shen Yuan's accidental harem, and this is very much that.

I would not say this is harem, rather, pre Harem (gets us to the immortal alliance conference finale).

Also- who doesn't love a time travel fic??

All of these things, plus the writing being SUPERB, you can't go wrong.

7. Character Optimisation by esama (91,785)

Summary: [Bonus mission, "Me, Myself and I" is now available. Would you like to activate the mission?]

Shen Qingqiu tries to sort himself out. Yue Qingyuan and Liu Qingge try to help.

Part two of the Master of Dual Cultivation series

this part was so good. So much relationship development happens (not with Binghe he is still in the abyss).

Also has some cool set up and cultivation created for Shen Qingqiu.

Unfortunately I don't think this fic has concluded or will conclude. The last updated was 2022 and the author has written many other fics since then- so likely will not conclude.

But if you like to see Shen yuan go through some emotional development this is a solid fic.

8 Needs No Invitation by somnologic (64,573)

Summary: No one can quite pinpoint exactly when the war spiraled into a chaotic three-way conflict between the Sunshot Alliance, the Wens, and the ever-mysterious Yiling Laozu. What everyone agrees on is this: the Yiling Laozu is merciless in his hunt for the Wens, uses unorthodox demonic cultivation techniques, and provides shelter to rogue cultivators from all over. The official position of the Sunshot Campaign is that this rumored leader of the newly-formed Yiling sect is a dangerous unknown, unfit to be trusted—or allied with.

So who is the Yiling Laozu and why does he keep abducting the esteemed Hanguang-Jun?

-------

Or, the Sunshot-era canon divergence Yiling sect and identity porn AU that no one asked for

This was a little bit funny not going to lie.

Are wangxian real dumb- yes. The miscommunication and pining while sleeping together is A LOT.

I do love a trope in which the "big bad yilling patriarch is sullying the sweet and pure Hanguang-jun".

It all works out in the end but there is a bunch of angst so be warned.

I love them your honour.

That's mostly what I read this week!

I am halfway through another fix-it wangxian but I didn't want to include it on this list since I haven't finished it yet. I'll add it to next week's list!

#bloopitynoots weekly reads #bingqiu #mxtx #wangxian #wangxian fics #ao3 #bingliushen #a03 recs

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