#halifax after dark

[halifaxafterdark]

The smallest (thinblood)... was Madeline.

[vambos]

He's not a super major character (yet) but one of our lead Harpies, Harland, is an autistic malk who manages the whole boon tracking system for the city.

He has a sort of one-way rivalry with Desmond (Des thinks they're friends, but Des thinks hes friends with everyone) because Desmond fucked up so bad they had to rework the whole Boon tracking shit... Harland hates him for that but is also secretly proud of how much he was able to improve it.

He also participates in underground/vampire Cat Fancy shows with his ghouled purebreds, and likes to join in on Karaoke nights at the Malk Bar even though he doesn't socialize with Malks too often otherwise (he doesnt tend to socialize with anyone outside the Harpies, unless they also like cats and karaoke)

He's the best (and most developed) Harpy Halifax has and we love him.

EDIT: adding now that I’m not on mobile, a number of our NPCs were inspired by the music videos from Monsters and Men’s Beneath the Skin album so this is our hc for Harland and his Karaoke performances:

does anyone in the vtm/wod scene have an autistic, adult, major character? I want to see them. I need to see more of those glorious fuckers. Juniper needs friends (or enemies) :D

[overflowingshelf]

July 2023 Reading Recap

Goodbye reading slump! July was my best reading month this year! Check out what I read this month (spoiler alert: most of them were pretty great!)

Summer is in full swing, and I have found my reading groove again! While I’m still behind on my overall reading goal for the year, I feel way more back into the swing of things with reading, as I read 10 books this month – the most I’ve read in one month this year! Here’s what I read this month: Continue reading Untitled

[lantur]

2006: A conversation with a military recruiter prompts 18-year-old Tessa Halifax to enlist in the US Army after graduation. This pivotal decision takes her from her New Jersey suburb to the streets of Baghdad, as a military working dog handler. In Iraq, Tessa meets disillusioned soldier Ryan Chao. Their experiences as soldiers lead them to make a dramatic departure from the careers they envisioned for themselves. 2025: Tessa’s ultimate goal as Chief of Staff to Vice President Ryan Chao is to help him win the White House in 2028. However, fallout from the events of the 2024 election cause a ripple effect that permanently alters Tessa’s life.  A Box Full of Darkness is an intensely personal story of strength and resilience, of healing and rebuilding after loss, and of devotion to the causes - and people - that matter the most. 

So many of you have read my writing (Strings, Lights in the Shadow, Delicate) over the past several years, across different fandoms. Thank you for being so supportive. All of your encouragement on tumblr and Archive of our Own helped me take the step toward writing an original novel. I'm so excited to share this with you.

Paperbacks are available here and on Amazon. The ebook is also available on Amazon. Unfortunately, Kindle devices are experiencing technical difficulties at the moment, and if you plan on reading on a Kindle device you may want to wait for the next update coming soon. However, the ebook works great on iPads and other browsers. As you can see from the screenshot, the paperback is beautiful and is well worth the wait. :)

Thank you to @chewytriforce for her cover art and design, and @broomchickabroom for her interior design and typesetting!

If you have any questions about purchasing the novel or ebook, please don't hesitate to contact me. ❤️

[agentnico]

The Count of Monte-Cristo (2024) review

Je suis Batman!!

Plot: Edmond Dantes becomes the target of a sinister plot and is arrested on his wedding day for a crime he did not commit. After 14 years in the island prison of Château d'If, he manages a daring escape. Now rich beyond his dreams, he assumes the identity of the Count of Monte-Cristo and exacts his revenge on the three men who betrayed him.

I’ve been really enjoying this recent wave of French blockbuster cinema creating these lavish big-budget adaptions of their nation’s classic literature, with the recent highly enjoyable duology romp of The Three Musketeers (D’Artagnan and Milady respectively) and now taking on The Count of Monte-Cristo. I was a major admirer of Alexander Dumas’ novels when I was a kid, and by admirer I mean my father used to force me to read those books which at the time I hated him for, as I much rather would have spent hours on end on my GameCube, but now am forever grateful that I have the knowledge of storytelling which I gained from reading those pieces of literature. So I’m eagerly hoping that now with these expensive modern movie takes we will also get some of Dumas’ other great works get the contemporary cinematic treatment, such as La Dame de Monsoreau and The Black Tulip (though the latter may be difficult as there is already an older film version starring Alain Delon, and would be hard to recast Delon, let’s not kid ourselves!). As for Monte-Cristo, I’m not even going to sugar-coat it - this is a fantastic modern adaptation of a classic!

The sets are great and really invoke the post-Napoleon era of France; the costumes are gorgeous; the music score is grandiose and epic, really engrossing you in this decade spanning saga of revenge; the classic story is reinterpreted so well with the themes and the emotion, and the acting across the board is superb. Oh and the cinematography is to die for - wonderful long shot landscape sequences, great use of lighting, gorgeous shots of interior palaces - you can tell this film has been given all the money in the world, only unlike Amazon’s Rings of Power TV series that looks expensive but lacks any narrative depth, this film is both great to look at but also has a great story with awesome performance. Look, I really really liked this movie, let me rave about it!! Of course if you’re not French, you have to deal with subtitles, however don’t let that sway you, as this move manages to tell so much using its visuals and powerful music score that at times you don’t even need to read the subtitles to understand the emotion the characters on screen are going through.

Pierre Niney is honestly superb as the titular Count. From how he showcases him in his younger years as the excited young sailor wanting to prove himself to years later being this highly intelligent and driven yet calm presence, as well as taking on the various alter-ego’s of the Count using his different masks (very reminiscent of Fantomas) such as the dastardly Lord Halifax - Niney does such a stellar job here. What I also loved is how this adaptation takes the “superhero origin” approach to Dumas’ classic, with the Count being showcased as this cool dark vigilante like Batman/Bruce Wayne or Zorro, and even his dark menacing suit (which is dapper as f*** by the way!!) emphasising that. All the props to Niney, he adds so many layers and nuance to his performance, that even when he is super reserved as the Count, you can tell in his eyes the disdain and pure hatred he has for the ones that wronged him, but at the same time being able to showcase his guard dropping slightly when he is in the presence of his beloved lost love Mercédès (played gracefully by Anaïs Demoustier).

As for negatives, as even though I absolutely adored this movie, the inner critic within me still can’t help himself. This is a 3-hour long movie, and granted that is a result of the weight of the original book, however you do feel the length of this thing, but at the same time certain parts feel a tad rushed (due to the writers attempting to cram so much story and character development into the 3-hour frame) that certain side-plots and narrative build ups aren’t given their proper space to breath. One does wonder if this would have worked better as a mini-series, however on the other hand they probably would not have had the budget to make this thing look as good as it does. Secondly, certain details/plot-holes frustrated me which I won’t spoil, but one example is when Edmond and Abbé Faria are digging the escape hole from their prison chambers all those years, where the hell did they keep getting all those candles from to light their workspace?? I highly doubt in mid-1800s France prisons had little kiosk shops to offer inmates various groceries and household items. Happy to be corrected here, but honestly seeing those candles reminded me of Deadpool proclaiming “that’s just lazy writing”. And final complaint (before we can get back to raving about how awesome this movie is) is the ageing, or lack of it more. The tale of Monte-Cristo spans from 1815 and ends in 1844, yet the movie makes zero effort in making the actors look older the further down the timeline we go. The Count does look aged but that is due to the mask he wears, so when that’s off he looks like his younger 20-something self again. One of the main baddies Prosecutor de Villefort (played in true dick-fashion by Laurent Lafitte) looks exactly the same at the beginning of the movie and then right to the end. You’re telling me the make-up artists and hairstylists couldn’t give him a single grey hair or a wrinkle?

Again though, that was me with my critical thinking hat on. With that off, I want to reiterate how I truly enjoyed this new version of a classic tale that has been done so many times before, however this one may be one of my favourites. Truly engaging and epic in scale, with a ridiculously cool Pierre Niney in the titular role. He is… the French Batman!

Overall score: 8/10

[mermaidsirennikita]

Hi! i’m hoping you might have a recommendation or two for me - It’s my turn to pick a book for my book club and I want to pick a historical romance that’s fun and campy but still easily accessible for readers that don’t have much experience with histros. I think Tessa Dare is an obvious choice but do you have any other authors/books you might recommend to someone reading historical romance for the first time? I think my main concern is them getting bored or tripped up by the language?

I hope it's okay if I publish this! (And in response to your other ask, omg thank you and you're so welcome!)

Tessa Dare is a great choice for sure (and I would do A Week to Be Wicked if you go with her) BUT alternatives...

Julie Anne Long! She writes really lighthearted but emotionally deep historical romances. They're not quite as high heat as Tessa, but they are explicit, and super lovely. I'd recommend What I Did for a Duke or After Dark with the Duke. She also has a new book out on Tuesday, The Beast Takes a Bride, which is GREAT and one I'd recommend.

Sarah MacLean is a great one if you want something approachable and easily translated to the modern age. Nine Rules to Break When Romancing a Rake or One Good Earl Deserves a Lover would by proposals for a book club.

Adriana Herrera's A Caribbean Heiress in Paris is modern and fresh and suuuuper sexy, while at the same time having a lot of the things we love about classic historical romances. I love that book.

The Wicked Wallflower by Tracy Sumner is a fun one—it's frothy and flirty (it's a classic brother's best friend book, with a self-made hero and a heroine pretend to be a wallflower) with a sweet beating heart.

There's also Amalie Howard! Her most recent historical romance series has been retellings of fun romcoms. Always Be My Duchess is a Pretty Woman take, and Never Met a Duke Like You is Clueless.

Alexandra Vasti! Her Halifax Hellions novellas are short, but you COULD do 1-2 together as they sort of tell two sides of the same story (they're about twins, and you know that one of them is pursuing the other when she runs off with a man in the first book... int he second you get the real story lol). Her full length debut Ne'er Duke Well is also good.

[vacantgodling]

a guide to: amon

we're back with another one. special shout out to annika for giving me the DRIVE to finish this lmao

transposed under the cut!

SLIDE 1: A GUIDE TO: AMON -- a man with literally no fucking chill. another monstrosity by yours truly @vacantgodling

SLIDE 2: BASIC INFORMATION pt. 1

FULL NAME: AMON

in GALERE those who are not of nobility literally do not have surnames. they’re not considered important enough to have them.

ie: erecia, terian, asahel, tamhas, vira, miss. shanin, knox, etc. none of these characters have surnames

HOWEVER, amon has a secret identity — or could’ve had one, its complicated — that many of these non-noble characters don’t know about: 

OCCASIONALLY KNOWN AS: CORIANDRUM FARRAH

after amon was attacked by the gang THE KEYS and his mother was killed, he was found and saved by a noble family: lord and lady farrah. unable to have children themselves, the two wanted to adopt the young boy, despite his many scars from the attack, to serve as their heir.

there are 2 alternate universe aus where amon does stay with the farrah’s and becomes their heir ⟶ the role swap au & the fiance au.

however, in canon, amon runs away from them after he heals at about 12 years old and returns to the slums of halifax, which are his home.

SLIDE 3: BASIC INFORMATION PT. 2

AGE: 29

BIRTHDAY: JANUARY 29TH

GENDER: CIS MAN

SEXUALITY: GAY. EXTREMELY KINKY. WE WILL GET TO THIS LATER.

OCCUPATION: MANSERVANT AT THE CHATEAU AUX AISLES D’OR

however, amon is also a member of the slum-gang THE LOCKS, who are in direct opposition to THE KEYS. THE LOCKS are run underneath the leadership of knox, a man who is also amon’s father figure.

despite their closeness, the two still butt heads.

knox wants to focus lock efforts on keeping the slums safe for everyone who lives there. however, amon knows that they will never be safe if the keys continue to stalk their streets at night. he wants to cut the head off of the proverbial snake—and take out their leader once and for all!

the only problem? well. 

the leader of the keys is THE KEEPER.

SLIDE 4: KINKY DETOUR✨PLEASE IGNORE IF Y’AIN’T LIKE SEX✨

a non-exhaustive list of amon’s kinks

impact play (actual fisticuffs turn him on), being restrained, orgasm play in any capacity, breath play (he has a huge oral fixation & choking on dick is his favorite pastime), cock worship/rimming, rough sex to the point of dubcon, anything “primal” (ie: wrestling, biting, scratching, growling, etc), blood play, degradation/humiliation—he is a BRAT, skin sensation or temperature play (such as ice/wax), exhibitionism/voyeurism… and he’s generally experimental. you get the picture. 

the man is insatiable.

SLIDE 5: GENERAL APPEARANCE:

HEIGHT: 6’2” (~187cm)

EYE COLOR: light brown; almost hazel

HAIR: dark black; short and choppy. his hair is actually naturally curly but he straightens it to appear more “dignified” as part of his act. 

BUILD: tall and lean; upside down triangle lookin’ ass. he doesn’t find himself particularly handsome.

there are 2 photos of amon to display how he looks. the first is a close up shot of amon--he has short cropped hair in a messy style, and sweeps on the left side over his brow bone. he has a few pinkish colored scars that criss cross his neck and he is making a smarmy expression. the second photo is a full body (sans feet) shot of amon bloodied and covered in bandages. the scars are revealed to cover most of his upper torso and one of his eyes is blackened.

SLIDE 6: SCARS

as a child, amon and his mother were attacked by keys; leaving him both an orphan and on the brink of death. miraculously (and with medical intervention) amon survived, but the attack left a mark on him—mentally and physically. 

to this day, amon hasn’t said what exactly the keys did to him to leave such marks. but nearly every available surface of his skin, including his genitals has some form of scarring. the worst scars are on his back. 

he is somewhat self conscious about them only because people can become uncomfortable about them. 

there is a photo of the backside of amon that showcases the scars on his back. the largest is one at the near center that goes from the top of his shoulder blades crossing diagonally down to his tailbone.

SLIDE 7: IMPORTANT RELATIONSHIPS

KNOX ⟶ as mentioned, knox is like a father figure to amon and he was the one who took him in once he returned to the slums after the brief period he lived with the farrah’s. while knox is wise and caring, he is critical of amon’s fight now, questions later approach, and tends to reproach him for causing ‘unnecessary drama’. despite this, he knows amon has the slums and the gang’s best interest at heart, and the two of them never stay mad at each other for long. knox is also willing to help in SOME of amon’s exploits (not all)

ERECIA ⟶ amon’s best friend and right hand man, the two have known each other since they were extremely small, and rekindled their friendship after they both experienced personal tragedy (erecia lost her father, and amon lost his mother/almost died/left the slums/came back). while amon is more verbally affectionate and likes to deflect his inner mind, erecia is someone who (to his chagrin) knows him very, very well. to the point that she is genuinely surprised at how enraptured amon has become with hya. she worries about him.

SLIDE 8: EXPLAINING THE OBSESSION WITH HYACINTHUS SHRAPNEL

this is extremely difficult to explain because in a number of ways, amon doesn’t really understand it either. he didn’t think much of hya at first; and at first, definitely only saw him as a means (the wife of the keeper) to an end (killing the keeper).

its the perfect storm of fucking around and finding out—not that i can blame him. he’s fucked hundreds of people without catching feelings; why should a pompous little lord be different? 

it’s more than just the fact that he can get a rise out of hya as amon can get a rise out of most people if he tries hard enough. it’s more than the fact that he thinks hya is attractive (and he does, immensely so) — somehow, hya is the perfect storm of a stubborn ass prick that fires all of amon’s dog-like synapses. 

he’s extremely lucky that hya feels the same about him tbh, even if its unsaid. idk. they’re made for each other.

SLIDE 9: ASSOCIATIONS

alcoholic drink: fireball shot

food: opera cake (or any sweet really)

colors: black & red

flower: coriander

animal: vulture

zodiac: aquarius

tarot: king of wands

song: king for a day — pierce the veil

[revenantlore]

. queer gothic fantasy . ghoulish vampires . a grumpy man with a pet rat and a death wish never to be granted . the literal embodiment of sunshine . polyamory . snarky lesbian badass . necromancy and undead horses . a ghost dog . supernatural drugs .

Plagued by a virus spread from an experiment gone awry, never does a night go by where Ashmourne’s cobblestones and soil are not drenched in human blood.

Bloodthirsty monsters wearing the faces of the virus’s victims run rampant the moment the sun is drawn below the horizon and only death can stop them.

Much too quick and strong for any ordinary adversary to survive against, a small group of both willing and unwilling participants have been scientifically engineered to protect Ashmourne from the very horrors the scientists created.

Without these special few, the townspeople of Ashmourne would have far more to mourn than daylight itself.

. bram valdis .

With no regards to his health or safety, Bram delves straight into harm’s way with the hope of a miracle: an end to his suffering. His past is marred with as many scars as his body, haunting reminders of what he is, who he used to be, and what he can never be again. No more than a laboratory rat, an experiment, a mistake … something far from human.

His compulsions lead to a gruesome collection of blood drawn from the Fangs he has slaughtered, a memento of sorts, stored in vials lining the shelves of his bookcases. Less a symbol of triumph and more a way to calm the obsessive thoughts rattling through his skull. Not a night goes by where he doesn’t count each and every one, often to the familiar tune of insomnia.

A fear of intimacy and loss has left him bitter and alone for much of his life, but he dreams of one day finding a love alike that of the fairy tales that accompany him on these sleepless nights.

. halifax bertram .

After out-aging the dirty halls of Galloway’s Home for Unfortunate Children, Halifax and his younger brother, Pennant, were left to fend for themselves in search of a better, safer life outside the borders of Ashmourne.

Poor, helpless, and more than a little hopeless, their journey was wrought with danger and a quick end.

When Pennant is taken in by Ether as a potential experimental subject, Halifax bargains for his freedom in exchange for Fax’s, unaware of the consequences that await him.

Fax hasn’t spoken to Pennant since.

Not without want, but it is forbidden, if he wants his brother to remain safe.

. pennant bertram .

Painting helps Pennant hold on to hope, distracts him from the grim truth of his existence in the weary village of Ashmourne. When painting fails, there’s the withering garden in the forests beyond Dead End to keep him occupied. He’s determined to bring some life to it—a budding flower or a shock of green amongst the wilting leaves.

Ashmourne is a dark and dismal place, desperate for a spot of brightness, a spark of hope, and so is Pennant.

Not even death will stop him from making it happen.

. zay larosa .

Following in her mother’s and aunt’s footsteps, Zay offers psychic readings at The Dirty Rat for a negotiable price—often she will settle for payment in the form of a drink, and many of her clients would claim the drunken prophet’s readings are always more accurate when of a liquor-addled brain. Others would denounce her credibility as a prophet, usually when things go wrong—or, more accurately, out of spite, when they go just as Zay said they would when seldom is it ever in the client’s favor.

It’s all but a distraction—the booze, the nameless women she beds, the hours and coins wasted away in games of cards and dice, all teetering on a risky bet her prophecies fail to correctly foretell—while a thirst for vengeance gnaws ever-present at her heart.

Her father was slain by a man Zay only knows by appearance alone, an unmistakable scar clawed across his face by her hands alone, and she is determined to find and kill him—all the more reason to snatch a glimpse into the futures of strangers.

. athios forsyth .

Haunted by the memories of a murder he didn’t mean to commit, Athios recedes into a life of isolation to avoid facing the truth behind the event. There are no consequences for the crime, no evidence that it ever happened—not when his victim rose from his grave at the touch of Athios’ own hand—except for the ceaseless guilt.

In the accompaniment of Ambrose, a dog whom is neither here nor there, Athios tends to the graveyards of Ashmourne, both with the intent to maintain a pristine appearance and to experiment with his ability to raise the dead.

His curiosity comes with more consequence than he bargained for when he messes with the restricted graves of Fangs and unleashes a new horror upon Ashmourne.

. zacarias bane .

All hopes of affection were surrendered the day Zacarias discovered himself incapable of touching another person without being thrust into their deepest, darkest memories without mercy.

Yet … Bram and Athios seem to somehow be exceptions to this rule.

The two men become a mystery Zacarias is determined to solve, temptation and desperation fueling his quest for an explanation while he suffers through nights of listening to the ceaseless passion of strangers below his rooming above the local brothel.

[halifaxafterdark]

Desmond was born in the late 1870s and turned before the turn of the century, I think hes probably in his early-mid 20s but despite being over a century old he hasn't matured or learned anything of substance so he's about as knowledgable as your average fledgling...

Jess was turned in the early 1900s when Des and his sire were sailing across to the Americas from Europe... I feel like shes younger, maybe 19 or 20. Neither of them had a lot of chances to learn from other Kindred while their Sire was in the picture because she was paranoid and kept them away from Kindred society...

Everyone else in our campaign is much younger! Most were turned in the later half of the 20th Century-- Tina was turned in the 90s, and then Mitch and Prudence are both very new within a few months/years respectfully. Tina and Mitch belong to @seanisdrawin

No one knows how old Cherry is and she likes it that way lmao

vtm friends at which age where your characters turned and how old are they now?

Alex was born 1987 and embraced at his 18th birthday. So he would turn 36 this year.

Nico was born 1997 and turned at 23, he would be 26 this year.

[alwayschasingrainbows]

Here is a quote from EQ:

"Year after year the seasons walked by her door. Violet-sprinkled valleys of spring—blossom-script of summer—minstrel-firs of autumn—pale fires of the Milky Way on winter nights—soft, new-mooned skies of April—gnomish beauty of dark Lombardies against a moonrise—deep of sea calling to deep of wind—lonely yellow leaves falling in October dusks—woven moonlight in the orchard.

[...] New Moon was unchanged, undisturbed by the changes that came elsewhere. Mrs. Kent had gone to live with Teddy. The old Tansy Patch was sold to some Halifax man for a summer home. Perry went to Montreal one autumn and brought Ilse back with him. They were living happily in Charlottetown, where Emily often visited them, astutely evading the matrimonial traps Ilse was always setting for her."

Emily's Quest by L. M. Montgomery

Thank you for voting!!!!

[halifaxafterdark]

BTW we have a playlist of Vamp vibe songs! Wide variety of genres and artists for anyone looking for new music inspiration :D Always a great listen when I'm trying to get in the writing/drawing/brainstorming mood.

Feel free to drop suggestions in the comments! Always looking for more vamp jams!!

Please support artists by buying their songs or albumns on platforms like Bandcamp if you are able!

[rootlessinterloper]

On Rain

The rain here in Halifax is ambiguous. It doesn’t speak a word. Or perhaps it speaks many, but doesn’t mean a single one; it has no conviction. It’s not like that elsewhere. 

In Toronto, the summer thunderstorms call out and beckon. The sky opens up like a great chasm trying to swallow the city, asphalt and bike lanes and litter and all. A mesmerizing yawp compels you to sit on your porch and watch its spectacle, as the deluge silences the cicadas. You hear not only rainfall but the sound of the grass and weeds and the sewer drains and the cracks in the sidewalk giving collective thanks. Then, mere minutes later, just when you begin to realize that there is no more beautiful sight in the world, the rain departs as suddenly as it arrived. Satisfied with its little show, it smugly retreats into the sky, as if to tease itself like a burlesque. Oh rain, you think, you playful devil. She will always return tomorrow, or perhaps the day after that. 

In the American Midwest, where hot streams of air from the Gulf of Mexico do battle with cold ones from Canada in a grand display of preternatural combat, the rain speaks strongly too. Stop at once, it shouts, ending the battle at once with its intervention. The air goes completely still in what one imagines the first few microseconds after a vacuum bomb is detonated feel like. Then, the sky is cleaved open by lightning; Kansas City’s art deco skyline is electrified, the Liberty Memorial and Union Station and the T-Mobile Centre are flash-frozen in place, followed by the most tremendous cannonade of thunder which shakes the earth itself. The rain there is not coy, it does not merely coerce attention – it demands worship. There is faint archeological evidence that the Pawnee and Missouria peoples would have worshipped a sky deity; there is strong intuitive evidence that the Pawnee and Missouria peoples would have worshipped a sky deity. 

Rain is so strongly correlated with emotions of sadness. Some people say that rain is like the sky crying, or the earth, or God, or Mother Nature. I can recall a certain moment it rained, during one of my many childhood summers spent on the Dalmatian coast, likely in a little town outside of Rijeka or Zadar but possibly as far south as Šibenik. The details escape me, but I do remember the rain. It was dark, the whole town was sleeping, and we were walking up this great hill from the marina to our apartaman. Without warning – no apocalyptic crack in the sky or commanding anthem of thunder – it began to rain so hard that the hill soon became little more than a waterslide, with sheets of rain nearly up to our knees. It was the funniest thing that had ever happened to me. We could hardly walk five steps without keeling over from laughter, our clothes drenched and clinging to our skin and shoes overflowing with water. The rain wasn’t crying; it was laughing. It was laughing along with us in the funniest joke I’d ever been party to. The sky was laughing so hard it cried; I know I certainly was. 

When it rains, I like to listen to its voice. I like to look for answers. Here, it provides me none.  It sits silently on the windshields of the cars in the dealership across the street, drips aimlessly through the eavestroughs and overhangs, collects in sterile little pools beneath the trees. I catch myself wishing sometimes that rain meant sadness; that it was crying and washing away all the happiness from the sidewalks, but it cannot even amount to that, voiceless and idle as it is. I suspect that it is somehow made of a substance thinner and weaker than water, like some cheap chemical substitute, a flagrant impostor. Why won’t it speak to me? Why will it give me no answers? Even the ocean here provides no catharsis; its waves lap the shore listlessly and they bear no meaning.

[gogogogolev]

Robert Brodie has done a write up from 2024 Skate Canada International. He leads off with news about Stephen.

#SCI24: Sharp dressed for some success Stephen Gogolev reminded everyone in Halifax of his bountiful talent in the men's short program. And he seems to have found a situation that suits him well. Stephen Gogolev is the mystery man of Canadian skating. Since winning the Junior Grand Prix Final in Vancouver in 2018, he’s long been seen as one of the future hopes of men’s skating in this country. But it’s been a roller-coaster ride in recent years for the Toronto native, with growth spurts, training base changes and, most notably, health issues standing in the way of unleashing his full potential. There have been flashes of his bounty of talents, to be sure — remember, for example, the outstanding long program he put together at 2023 nationals in Oshawa, Ontario? — but the words erratic and inconsistent might better describe the past few years or so of his still young career. But a lot has changed in the past several months, and maybe the 19-year-old (yes, he’s still that young) has finally found his comfort zone to thrive. Gogolev has been settled with Lee Barkell at the Granite Club since June (he previously divided his training between Toronto and California, where he worked with Rafael Arutyunyan) and added French choreographer Benoit Richaud to his coaching team. Add it all up, and we saw the very good side of Gogolev on Saturday in Halifax. With a clean skate that included a quad Salchow and triple Axel, he posted an 82.70 score that landed him in fifth place after the short program. Best of all, he exited the ice with a smile on his face — not the forlorn look of the 2024 Canadian Championships in Calgary, when a flareup of a previous back injury scuttled his short program and forced him to withdraw. While Barkell said there had been “some issues” in dealing with his back during the off-season, all is well for the moment and the decision was made to scale down his programs this week to protect his health (the short program will eventually have two quads. Gogolev has been landing quad loops in practice, and Barkell said either that or the quad toe will be added down the road in the combination. The long will be similarly watered down, with the plan to have three or four quads in it by season’s end). “It’s been kind of on and off,” Gogolev said of his back health. “We took it very carefully leading up to this competition.” Gogolev was all business, you could say, as he glided onto the ice in suit and tie (“It’s actually quite light. It’s really stretchy,” he said when asked what it’s like to skate in such attire). The music for the program — “Mugsy’s Move Medley,” by Eddie Nichols — had a lighter feel to it, especially compared to the dark tones of last season’s “The Sound of Silence,” by Disturbed. “This program is really fun. It’s the short program I’ve enjoyed the most doing in the past couple of years,” he said, adding he’s already halfway to his goal at Skate Canada. “Short and free, clean skates. So I got the first part of that done. Overall, I’m pretty happy and I just wanted to enjoy this experience.” The enthusiastic audience at Scotiabank Centre did its part to make that happen. “There was a lot more people than I expected and it was louder, which was nice to see,” he said. Both his programs this season are Richaud creations, and Gogolev decided he wanted to expand the Frenchman’s role this season. “I work with him as a choreographer and I really like his work ethic and his strategies, and I thought it would be a good idea to add him as a coach.” His score held up at the top of the leaderboard until well into the final group, and he’ll skate in the final flight in Saturday’s free skate. It’s no surprise that World champion Ilia (the Quad God) Malinin of the United States has a commanding lead (106.22), followed by a pair of Japanese, Shun Sato (96.52) and Sota Yamamoto (92.16).

It is concerning to hear that Stephen's back injury issues have not been resolved fully. It appears to be some kind of chronic issue now. If he is able to manage it without increasing his technical difficulty then that is best. He does not need to sacrifice his life long health for a few quads. We will have to put our trust in Lee Barkell regarding this matter.

[babacontainsmultitudes]

15 Questions for 15 People

@locke-n-k3y thanks for the tag :] ah hm tbh I feel like my answers for these might be a bit boring but let's see...

1. Are you named after anyone?

Yes! (Referring to my legal name- which I still use), I was named after a character from the soap opera "General Hospital" haha.

2. When was the last time you cried?

Last week lol- which was... The first time in a couple months? It was nice but not enough.

3. Do you have kids?

Absolutely not. Never lol.

4. What sports do you play/have you played?

Never did any sports outside of gym class! Not formally, anyways. I do workout (mostly strength/weight training) fairly regularly... But I don't think that really counts here lol. :0 Been thinking a lot lately about picking up boxing.

5. Do you use sarcasm?

Yup! irl I often go for a sort of deadpan delivery of my sarcasm- what I've learned from other people is that I'm a little too good at that (I sometimes say very ridiculous things very convincingly). I won't usually specify unprompted that I'm being sarcastic, but you're always welcome to ask. Not as sarcastic online in general, however.

6. What's the first thing you notice about people?

Irl? Hmm. Hard to say. Maybe: eyes, voice, posture.

Online? Typing/texting style I suppose!

7. What's you're eye color?

Dark brown 👁

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Not mutually exclusive lol. But, happy endings. I don't "dislike" tragedies but I'm not actively drawn to them either.

9. Any talents?

HM. I mean obviously I have things I'm good at but I'm never quite sure what differentiates a "talent" from a "skill". I suppose a lot of friends have said something to the effect of me being "good at reading minds" haha- also "good at explaining things" which is debatable but sweet lol.

10. Where were you born?

Halifax! Which I feel fine saying cause I haven't lived there for a long time lol. A foggy fishing city that I miss even now.

11. What are your hobbies?

I guess a large chunk of what I do on this blog counts as hobbies? Writing (whether it's fiction or analysis or shitposts), drawing, audio clipping and editing apparently (though much of that I just keep to myself- same for drawing tbh). :] I've also gotten into making iron-on patches. Tabletop and video games for sure but... Neither as much as I'd like these days. I tend to collect a lot of things as well- most notably coins.

12. Do you have any pets?

I've had MANY pets of many different species- but currently just my cat Bok! I do tend to take care of my older sister's bunny a lot too though.

13. How tall are you?

5'4, which all my 6'0 friends love teasing me over 😒. I've been told that I "seem taller from the way [I] carry myself", however. (Despite everything, I'm actually fine with my height!)

14. Favorite subject in school?

When I was completing my bachelor's (in computer science) I was particularly drawn to graphics-related stuff! In highschool my fave was definitely drama haha (gee I miss it tbh).

15. What is your dream job?

I HAVE NO IDEA no idea and that's kind of my issue rn tbh. Plenty of things that seem interesting, but I don't think I'm the kind of person who could have the same job for my whole life, no matter how perfect it is. I'll presumably end up in something programming-related eventually, though it's not what I'm looking for now. OH OKAY ACTUALLY dream job? Probably doing video essays (or possibly let's plays) on Youtube haha.

15 PEOPLE IS A LOT OF PEOPLE TO TAG AND I ALWAYS FEEL SO SHY TAGGING PEOPLE IN GAMES and I have no idea who's been tagged already ahaha UM NO PRESSURE WHATSOEVER!!! @llumimoon @happi-tree @kaseyskat @abeinginsand @nolassolace @goldturnedgray @swiffin @insomaniiiac @meiwks @calamity-unlocked @coolfire333 @supremely-unsupervised @b1gwings @giraffeskull There! 15! Tried to get a few new people in there lol. But fr no stress!

[button-man-herald]

The Kingsport Clam

in a studio the size of Styrax, a lot of development is "Bottom Up", in the sense that so much of what we make is collaborative, iterative, and often the ideas we are most excited about come from spur-of-the-moment conversations over lunch.

While brainstorming what it takes to build a real town in the imaginations of our players, Ron and I got to thinking: what's the signature food of Kingsport? For those new to Button Man, Kingsport is the name we have given to our fictionalized version of Halifax, Nova Scotia, the setting of our upcoming 1920s adventure game.

New York has pizza, Chicago has hot dogs, Montreal has smoked meat, and Halifax has the Donair. But what about Kingsport? What began as a simple aside turned into a distracting, nagging question for me. What sort of food would early 20th century port-town northerners create to fit the bill?

Pics from Wikipedia and NYC Tourism

Cities' signature dishes tend to share some characteristics. Firstly, they are designed for mass appeal, at least so far as the locality goes. If the local area has a sweet tooth, its gonna be a sweet food, for example. To maintain mass appeal, it also needs to be inexpensive, possibly cheap as dirt. Think of a $1 slice in NYC. Of course the higher quality stuff is out there with a price to match, but the word of the delicious thing wouldn't be out there if it weren't for the decades of legwork done by the humble $1 slice.

So we have broad appeal, low price point, and usually these foods are also a celebration of either a specific demographic in the community, or of an industry of particular pride in the community. For example, is it so surprising that the meat-packing city became known for delicious and cheap hot dogs?

Lastly, although somewhat optional, I've noticed that a lot of local delights tend to come with a little joke or saying, especially in the Northeast. Something playful, letting everyone who buys in on the joke.

Keeping in mind the industries, social classes, and regional culinary traditions in the mix, I finally decided on something that felt plausible, and possibly even delicious: The Kingsport Clam.

What is a Kingsport Clam you ask? Why, its a dark roux-based chowder of mixed whitefish chunks (Haddock and Cod mostly), served on a toasted and buttered bun, cut not quite all the way so the bun keeps a hinge like a clam. Hot, filling, and relatively easy to carry, the Clam would be a favorite among the damp longshoreman looking for a satisfying meal on the cheap. Or so I imagined.

Trouble was, I couldn't shake the feeling that this food I dreamed up might be absolutely disgusting. For the good of the game, and for science, I had to make a Kingsport Clam.

Being so close to the Atlantic, cod and haddock aren't terribly hard to come by. I popped by the store and grabbed some cod, haddock, and threw in some spare tilapia I had at the house when I got home. The "hardest" part was making the roux, but even that just required some attention for a few minutes. Threw in the chopped onions and celery, added water, let it boil off the flour, added the fish, and after a some time stewing... it was done!

As I plated it up, I couldn't help but wonder just how many calories I had managed to condense into a single sandwich. But to my surprise... it was actually looking pretty good! After admiring my work for a minute, it was finally time to give it a try... and it was actually alright! My wife loved it, actually. Overall, too heavy for me, but half of one Clam satisfied.

I was happy to report my success to Ron, and thus the Kingsport Clam was finalized, and ready to be inserted as the official food of our fictional city! Finally I could stop thinking about it.

[otter1962crystalball]

Face It or Not: Out of the Pan into the Fire

June 25th, 2024 

Happy 25th day of Pride Month! Wow! The month of June is almost already behind us. Today, I was thinking about the end of things and what happens when I don’t deal with it.

Soon after my divorce, a man whom I had had contact with found out that I was divorced. I call him Allan. He never really liked John and we had stopped talking because John pissed him off. It turned out that John had asked Allan if he could move in with him - while still married to me. I found this out when Allan contacted me and told me how sorry I was to have gone through that nightmare with John.

The situation led me to taking a vacation to Las Vegas to hang out with Allan. We really clicked and I went home feeling like the divorce had never happened. Allan then booked a flight to visit me and we started a relationship. I felt like I was on cloud nine and that all the darkness of the John relationship was gone.

Then, in September 2017, I was on a machine at the local gym and it collapses on my leg and tore my right Achilles Tendon in half. I ended up driving (on a damaged leg) to the local clinic where I was told that it was torn and that I would need a cast. So, an ambulance was called and I was driven to downtown Halifax where I had a cast put on - very late at night. During that time, I had texted Allan and then my phone died. I ended up getting a message from him via the ward’s nurse. I felt so grateful that Allan would do that. He immediately flew to Halifax and looked after me for almost a month. He was there during the wait time and then the operation itself.

I was feeling very depressed about not being able to be mobile and Allan’s presence cheered me. He accompanied me to physiotherapy (which I was told took an entire year). I was to be in a boot for at least two months and have physiotherapy twice a week for a while and then one per week afterwards. For that month, Allan drove me everywhere, helped out with the house and we made things work.

In the past few blog entries, I talked about John’s red flags. With Allan, I felt there were none and this made me very happy - until one day something happened. Allan got upset because he felt that I didn’t appreciate his help. I told him that that wasn’t true and that I’d been in pain and hadn’t told him enough that I really appreciated him. I did, but he was still angry, so I asked if he needed a break and offered to get him a hotel room until his flight. He then literally accused me of trying to get rid of him. I assured him that wasn’t the case. He stayed for the rest of the month and then flew home.

The boot came off and I was able to go to work after two months off. It was a bit of an adjustment as I had to use a knee scooter to get around for a while. By Christmas, I was wearing the boot less. I flew to Las Vegas for Christmas and we had an amazing time. We continued back and forth for over two years. We took a trip to Hawaii together during a trip to Las Vegas, which was amazing as it was my first time. We later planned a trip to Thailand via Hawaii. It turned out to be a dream vacation for me despite a bit of a situation with my house. I had it rented out as an Airbnb and the cleaner quit while I was in Las Vegas before we left. I was really upset and wondered if I should fly back to solve the problem. Allan flew off the handle telling me that I wasn’t thinking about him at all. I apologized and things went on. Again, I ignored what was going on.

Later that year during a visit to Nova Scotia, we celebrated Hallowe’en together. While I was in the bathroom, Allan went through my phone and found a picture that I had sent to a friend in Australia. He got angry with me and said that I had betrayed his trust. I realized that I had made a mistake and I allowed him to go through my phone, computer and all my hard drives. He ended up deleting every picture of John that existed. I just let him do it. He also asked me to ditch any of my friends that might want to sleep with me. I followed his advice.

The next trip to Las Vegas was that Christmas in 2018. I took a lot of my family Christmas ornaments with me because he wanted to have a family tradition Christmas. It was a fun time including a birthday cake for me. He also had a surprise for me and announced a two day trip and that I was to guess where we were going.  The first idea came to me was Fort Lauderdale. Allan turned to me and told me that I was disgusting - the only reason I wanted to go there was to have sex with a friend there. I told him that wasn’t true, but he insisted that I ditch that friendship or else. I told him no problem and we flew to San Francisco for two nights. The first night we were there, in the hotel room Allan picked up his sunglasses, turned to me and yelled that I was toxic to him. He squeezed his hands so hard that he broke his sunglasses and cut his palms. I can remember his face as he gritted his teeth and tossed the glasses into the garbage. I was shocked, so I called the last two friends that I still had in my list and said goodbye. That seemed to be fine with Allan and we went on with the trip.

When we returned, it was close to New Years and we had tickets to see Celine Dion. It was an amazing concert. We took pictures of ourselves by the promotional billboard in the theatre. I flew back that New Years day. On Facebook, there was a now and then post. I placed a picture of me in 2008 and the one of me in front of the Celine Dion billboard. Allan didn’t answer his phone that evening. The next day I called him and he screamed at me that I had hurt him horribly. After I hang up, I discovered that he had changed his Facebook profile to a black picture with candles. I texted him to ask if we could talk and he texted back that he wanted nothing to do with me because I had been unfaithful for showing that picture to my friend and that I hadn’t gotten rid of all my friends.

There I was, just into 2019 and again I was single. I was mystified as to why Allan did this and actually thought of going to Las Vegas, but one of Allan’s friends told me know when I suggest it. That was the last time I heard from Allan until two months three months later when I received a package in the mail. The package had a note about how much I had hurt him and that if I wanted any of my stuff that I had left in his condo, I would have to pay back all the money for gifts, trips, etc or I wouldn’t get my stuff back. My eyes were opened and I realized what was happening. I took the package and burned it. I said goodbye to my things in his condo - including my family Christmas ornaments - which were important to me as memorabilia. I never heard from Allan again.

I never had time to process the break up because something else happened suddenly in my life - I was diagnosed with colon cancer. When we see the light and come to understand what we’ve been doing that is not genuine, it’s a breakthrough. In that time, I wasn’t being true to myself.  It took the cancer and chemo along with some internal work to help me see that. If you are interested, you can check out my cancer blog at https://www.tumblr.com/otter1962.

What I learned about myself helped me see that I hadn’t dealt with the divorce from John, jumped into a relationship too soon, discovered that Allan was a worse narcissist than John and that cancer was my wake up call.

For Pride, I am celebrating the trials we sometimes have to go through before we see the light. I came to understand that I had to take care of myself, love myself and do the work before I could even think about another relationship. I am also celebrating the idea that there is a big difference between being alone and lonely, which I’ve written about in a blog entry.

Carpe diem, everyone! Live your life genuinely as yourself and be happy with that. Don’t let others dictate how your life should be lived!