#half of which I haven't even delved into yet

[tyran-the-tyranical]

I’m currently writing a fic and writing for Raphael is a little infuriating if I’m being honest.

Mostly because he has such a way about him, and unlike the other characters where there’s some room for deviation, he’s quite rigid in his mannerisms. So I’ve literally been scraping through his dialogue and ‘analysing’ his behaviour, and this is what I’ve ‘boggled’ it down to.

EDIT: This is actually really long, and in fact not boggled down at all, Keep Reading at your own peril...

(OK, So I've completely reorganized this post to be more readable) 

Raphael is a complex and multifaceted character, but here are some main character traits of his that I'll delve more into as we go on;  

-Manipulative and Deceptive 

-Arrogant and Condescending 

-Sadistic and Enjoys Suffering 

-Cunning and Strategic 

-Relishes Power and Control 

-Patient and Calculative 

-Dark Humor  

-Alluring and Subtly Flirtatious  

-Dual Nature and Contradictory  

-Hedonistic and Indulgent tendencies

-Ambition

Though Raphael wants to paint himself as an honest person, that still doesn’t mean he isn't Manipulative with us, he uses many tactics to gain our trust, from crafting this honest and helpful persona to literally threatening us and building pressure to make a deal to escape ceremorphosis. 

"I'm here to help, not harm” 

"I am master here. A prince of bargains cloaked like scarlet satin. All that hidden under sublimely obvious truths that cannot be discounted." (From Chapter 3 of his Diaries) 

“Come now, why playing hard to get when you're in deep over your tadpole head all those pretty little symptoms sundering skin dissolving guts they haven't manifested yet have they?" 

"I'll be around watching you squirm like a tadpole through a nice juicy brain" 

As we progress his threats go from subtle to outright fear-mongering, but this also goes into somewhat of his dual nature as when he moves past his honest persona to just pressuring you, he still wants to paint himself as some sort of Saviour. Of course, this is also just another tactic of his, painting himself as a friend or helper, as though he doesn't have his own ulterior motives, which sure he admits outright but in the ending where you do give him the crown he drops this façade and tells you he's planning on taking over more than the hells and will eventually come for you next. I also think this bleeds into his own needs to be adored, you can see this further in his little plaques he has around his house. 

"Am I a friend? Potentially, an adversary? Conceivably, but a savior? that's for certain. Try to cure yourself. Shop around - beg, borrow, and steal. Exhaust every possibility until none are left.  And when hope has been whittled down to the very marrow of despair that's when you'll come knocking on my door. Take all the time you need but make up your mind before you're counting down with tentacles"  

Additionally, this all just feeds into his performative nature - to the extent that he sometimes borders on narrator territory. He has his little monologues as he talks about us as though we’re characters in a story and he’s just recounting our actions to some unseen audience.  

[His speech before the Yurgir encounter is a good example of this]

 

"Through the dark, she went creeping and awoke what was sleeping" 

"The Shadows grow long and the hour is late" - also wherever this quote is from works well too 

There are even more subtle moments where he's still being performative, even when he's not physically present, which goes into his desire and constant longing to be seen as something akin to a True or Full Devil (or archdevil). Since he is a cambion he is restricted a lot by his mortal half. He is held back by his human needs like sleep and presumably food too. I think he tries to cover for this through excess, as if you go to the HoH in Act 3, you can see the food on the table is just filled to the brim of just rotten food, basically all of it wasted. Also, there are loads of scattered areas that have fruit or wine throughout his house. I believe he does this on purpose to try to come across as though food is nothing but a pleasurable activity he indulges in now and again rather than a necessity and he doesn't care if he wastes it (Also just saying he's rich, let them eat cake, L + Ratio). 

However his façade isn't perfect since he is still fallible, and he can fail/die. We can see this because, at every opportunity he possibly can, he attempts to convey this front of being omnipotent and powerful - as close as he can to an archdevil. To be fair, he manages to do this pretty really well, At times he can even come across as this truly unbeatable force, that we can’t ever truly defeat. This is exemplified by the fact that, even if we kill him, if we look in his logbook of previous visitors, it hints at him trying to find a way to cheat death by transferring his soul into a clone or something adjacent. 

Now whether he ever managed to accomplish this by the time we attack him is uncertain, (though there is a non-canon / cut content line where he begs for his father's help as we fight him, kinda of insinuating he never fully realized his backup plan in time and he’s actually afraid he’ll die, but that’s also not in the game so who can say for sure) 

“I cannot lose to you. Not here. Not in my home. I cannot die! Mephistopheles, hear your son! I am at your mercy - save me!” - NOT CANON BTW, but omg do I love this line 

Another slight hint that Raphael might not be as indestructible as he'd like us to believe is when he is playing lance board with Mol. 

"My, the double counter Gambit. Vicious. Exactly what I would have done" 

Now for all intents and purposes Raphael does not need to win against Mol, that wasn't the purpose of their game, either way he already had his eyes set on her to make a deal anyway. Yet it demonstrates that whether you cheat or actually manage to outwit him, he can be beaten, since he can't hide behind a persona when playing (Mostly). 

Furthermore, Raphael is like an English teacher, he loves his little similes and metaphors, and just talking in a verbose manner, and it’s not just word vomit, no no no, he makes it sound interesting, he is performing for us after all. For me personally tho, it’s difficult to replicate, unlike other characters or companions where you can deviate their dialogue, like hearing Astarion say ‘fuck you’ to Cazador, I don’t think you could get away with that for Raphael.  

"The mouse smiled brightly it outfoxed, then down came the claw and that love was that"  

"Perfect, one more rhyme for Old Time's sake; The master was slain within his own house, they dined on him both, the cat and the mouse."  

"Like a mosquito nibbling at a dragon, be gone"  

I also think it's so interesting that the man who does nothing but spout rhymes and poetry will say this if you call his poetry out for being dirt; 

"I admit it isn't my primary interest not, by any stretch" 

Excuse me, sir?  I do think he genuinely likes poetry/writing in general, he supposedly even wrote a play before sooo, also I just think that all these contradictory things he says are on purpose, he's trying to be mysterious to some extent, and he doesn't want you to be able to gauge or understand him, he just wants you to believe in his persona he's crafted for you and that's all. Though like I've said before, his mask can slip off, especially in private or when he's enraged. An example is when he's referring to his employees who have failed him.  

"[A record of various associates of Raphael's, listing their duties, and their respective performance.] 

Korrilla Hearthflame - field work - so far I've barely 

had to singe the tips of her fingers. This one shows promise. 

Archivist - naughty boy, supposed to be looking after the collection, 

but has a tendency to drift. May have to start breaking his neck to 

give his spine a chance to recover. 

Nubaldin - little shit let Gortash get away. Not letting 

him near the prisons ever again. Chamber of Egress will 

do fine until I find a replacement for him." 

Moreover, he’s also very condescending/patronizing. (I think even in one of his dialogues, the devs noted he should even come across that way). I think that’s just a part of his little superiority complex, he’s the chess player and we’re all just his little pawns (that is until we kill him ourselves, it almost makes me think that Tav/Durge is actually the other player in the game and to some extent Raphael knows this and tries to play accordingly). He constantly wants to portray this cool and confident personality, that he’s accounted for every possible outcome (and in a lot of ways he has) and that even if he doesn’t get what he wants, it doesn’t faze him, and in fact, he’ll try to make it seem like either way it benefits him, and sure in some ways it might, but I do believe he’s just saying that to mask his failure to achieve his goal. 

"I should snuff you out and make coin of your soul, but it will be more amusing to let you see the consequences of your actions. Do you really think that the crown is safer in the hands of a goddess than in the claws of a devil?" (Look, I don't like Mystra, but do I think the crown is safer with her? UH yea)  

"Such an eager little pup."  

"You really do think highly of yourself. My sights are set on something much more valuable than your soul, succulent though it would be."  

He's Definitely pissed at us for being a little shithead and giving the crown to Mystra (even tho in the game if you complete Gale's quests you rlly have no choice lol) But he still tries to play it off as this will be terrible for you but great for him, since if shit hits the fan, he's just gonna get more souls - Though I'm sure this is him just trying to save face, or at least to some extent. We can see him actually lose his composure if we ascend Gale. 

"Do not toy with me, Wizard!" - R 

"I thought you liked playing games? You can have the crown Raphael, but you'll need to come and collect it from my realm" - G 

"You can't do this!" - R 

"I hit him where he's most vulnerable, pricked his pride, and sent him back to the hells to lick his wounds. He'll be back, the question is will he find us side by side?" - G 

This is really fun to see since even Gale knows Raphael has no power over him and can just mess with him, and initially, Raphael tries to gain control by saying like 'Oh no, I'm not going to take the crown Gale's going to give me it, like we agreed' and then when Gale fucks with him and it utterly infuriates him because there's not much else he can do really since Gale, though he might not be as powerful as Mystra, is definitely more powerful than Raphael. I also think it's very interesting that, even though we've basically gone against Raphael and screwed him over, he doesn't plan on taking it out on us, and I know he says he wants us to see the consequences of our actions but I think there's a different reason to why he doesn't take action against us. I think he's genuinely afraid of us, let me explain. He was clearly already afraid of our potential before any of the endings, shown in his dream he wrote about in his diary, and when we manage to survive everything that the game throw at us and defeat the nether brain, we've basically become undefeatable (Not really but you get what I mean) The only time he even suggests he'll take one of our souls is if Gale explodes while trying to ascend and well, there's not going to be much resistance since he's already blown up. 

"There was one among them who spoke for the rest. They gestured to the melting hooks, suddenly glanced my way, and in their face I saw they had the best of me. 

In waking, my courage has firmed. I progress my plans for

the tadpoled even now. 

I am Raphael. I am not easily bested." 

Raphael is not only fueled by his ambition but his fear (I'll talk more about that later too) and so he acts accordingly, he plans and schemes for hundreds of years trying to account for every possibility, and at times he can even come across as a total control freak lol. He has Korilla literally stalk us throughout the game, he also knows personal facts about our companions (he’s done his homework), and he’s literally planned and orchestrated events in the plot to help lean towards us giving him the crown in the end (it’s implied he helped vlaakith chain Orpheus or idk some other devil did with infernal chains, and he’s the one who helps wipe Ketherics lil army to just one justiciar) he’s had a lot of time to plan and plan he has. He’s constantly aware of your movements since he picks very specific points to appear to you.  

"[Laughter] The good thing is though there's only one little voice you really should listen to,��Mine" - Total control freak behavior  

"you'll be back, it's something of great importance to your master is it a love letter a warning or a deed of ownership I can give you all the Gory details"  

"Carved into that Ivory skin of yours is one part of an infernal contract between the archdevil Mephistopheles and your former master" 

"Karlach, why does that name ring a bell? hmm, perhaps I read it in a book somewhere." 

An interesting thing to note is that I think his controlling and performative tactics are the ultimate reason to why he inevitably fails (If you decide to kill him I mean) Since he's spent so much time controlling the narrative literally and figuratively, he's literally altered events leading up to our arrival so that we can give him what he wants and he even talks about us as if we are just a character in his story he's created, he's been doing this so long he truly believes he can control the narrative, that he's predicted every outcome and he really doesn't think we'd go against that we could go against him. He's been so out of the narrative himself, an observer who might nudge things to go his way now and then but never be in the action himself that he truly believed he was untouchable, that he could just float above it all like he did with Karsus’s folly happened. 

Now onto an aspect of Raphael I find very interesting – His relationship's with those around him. As I said before he’s a total control freak, and that’s clearly fueled (if not caused) by his narcissism and we can see that even outside of our protags. Look at Haarlep for instance, (there’s so much to dissect with these two) but Raphael strictly has Haarlep made to look like himself, and is the only form he’ll sleep with. There isn’t just one answer to why he’d do that, firstly, it just boils down to him being a narcissist sure, but on the other hand a point can be made that he’s doing it strategically. 

Haarlep was sent to distract him, and presumably to spy and report back as well (Hypothetically, it's not confirmed) and presumably, Raphael is clever enough to realize that. So why would he reveal anything about himself in such a vulnerable way, so why not just make the incubus be in one form and one form only? It also serves as a lil bit of a punishment I suppose, since Haarlep can be 1000 different people but is forced to stay as one. There’s also another angle to this, that narcissists generally find intimacy difficult, and being vulnerable with other people. So why be vulnerable when you can stick to the devil you know? 

Party member: How did you end up here? 

Haarlep: Sent by Mephistopheles... distract naughty son. 

He knows himself better than anyone, so why would he bother with anyone else? It’s a bit of a defense mechanism, he’s not willing to be vulnerable or let his guard down (and to be fair, for good reason) so it’d be better for him to stick to what he knows, what he’s comfortable with. I’m just going to throw this out here but he comes across as a total hedgehog dilemma sorta of guy, gives off real Shinji Ikari vibes tbh. (NOT REALLY, He's more Gman than anything but just without the charisma ��) 

Party member: Did you ever turn into forms besides Raphael's? 

Haarlep: Raphael... loves... only... Raphael. 

Now, this is just supposed to be a Raphael analysis but I find it impossible not to mention Haarlep and their motivations as well, since they are arguably the closest person (Literally) to Raphael. Haarlep comes across as a complete gossip type since they seem to just love to air out Raphael's little secrets, they even say how Raphael can Deny them nothing so either Raphael does trust them to some extent to make them his confidant or well, Haarlep just Wittles it out of him during their sessions. Either way, they hold some closeness to Raphael, yet I find it revealing that they immediately will expose him and actually help you (for a price ofc) and intentionally try to help you kill Raphael. Now whether they believed we could actually kill him or not is up for debate, but after you give them your form they do say that they'll enjoy misusing you and they do tell you what will happen when they use your form, so if they believed you were going to die why bother? 

Haarlep doesn't seem to be the only one as in their letter to you in the epilogue it's revealed that even the devils in Mephistopheles's court seemed to hate Raphael. 

"Since the timely end of Raphael's reign, I've gone back to Mephistopheles' Palace in Cania. Many of his Father's court are celebrating the demise of my little brat - behind closed doors. And I'm making a fortune selling evenings in his form now there is no contract binding me to secrecy. Rather tasteless to desire a dead man like that, even amongst devilkind, isn't it?" 

Haarlep even calls Raphael their little brat, though perhaps it was out of endearment as even Haarlep remarks how low it is to desire a dead man when they use Raphael's form. This could possibly show some sort of remorse towards Raphael's death, but it's pretty unclear, yet that's also to be expected since Haarlep is a full devil and they even state they're a crueler master than Raphael so perhaps that was true as well. It genuinely seems that no one actually cares for Raphael, besides perhaps Korilla, and I mean that's fair in all honestly, considering how he treats most of his employees (Hope too) but it's also funny that the people he wants to impress or become most, the devils, also hate him or want to well.. Have some fun times with his form after he's already dead.  I also think it's interesting that Haarlep refers to Raphael as a dead man rather than a devil, they don't even say 'amongst his own kind', It's interesting because Raphael himself is so adamant on calling himself a Devil rather than cambion or whatever (tbf he's not the only one, Mizora does the same or at least out characters don't care to make the distinction) Yet Haarlep doesn't care to make that distinction. Now, of course, man doesn't necessarily mean a mortal man or whatever, but it's still intriguing to note.

An interesting thing to note about Devil society is that, unlike Demons who usually just outcast or kill their cambions, Devils at least allow Cambions to intergrade into their Hierarchy, but at the same time it's a system that wasn't built for them to succeed in since cambions can't physically be promoted, they aren't guaranteed anything form their work, so everything they have, they've had to work hard for. Unlike those around him, Raphael has had to work extra for his position (though I'm sure his title of Son of Mephistopheles did help somewhat) he seems to have it quite good, and tbh I even initially thought he was his own free agent, and didn’t even have to serve under Zariel (but he does) he just has it really good, or at least better than most cambions from what it seems. At the same time, I find it intriguing that he sparsely even mentions who he is in relation to his father. Through subtle hints throughout that game, it's clear that Raphael actually probably hates his father or is perhaps extremely jealous of him, since at the same time he mirrors him in some aspects.  

I think the Dungeoncast said it best when examining the devil's mindset that I also think apply to Raphael quite well too;

"Their dogma essentially revolves around seeking power over others, always adhering to an eye-for-an-eye principle. They exploit any kindness shown to them and show no compassion for the weak, exhibiting traits of a sociopath. Winning at any cost is their mantra, often cloaked in the guise of promoting personal excellence and independence. When they harm others, they rationalize it as providing motivation to succeed."

Even though his society basically looks down on him, whether he's successful or not, Raphael still believes in their mindset, mostly since that's probably how he's survived and thrived in the Hells. This mantra that the devils have has warped who he is as a person entirely and also his ambitions, he doesn't want any other than control, he sees no point in forming meaningful relationships or other interests, and he only sees domination and power as his goal since that's all his society has told him is important.

Another thing I’ve read about cambions is their sense of entitlement, especially over mortals, and well Raphael certainly fits the bill. Which might contribute to why he wants what he wants. I mean, why does Raphael want to take over the hells? To end the blood war? Sure, almost all devils want to rise the ranks but Raphael’s goals are a lot more lofty than that, and why is that? Is it solely his ego? To be seen as something kin to a god-like Asmodeus, or is it to best and humiliate his father? Perhaps both, or perhaps neither, it’s somewhat unclear, but perhaps he just feels entitled to something greater or maybe he wants out of the rat race that is the Devil's Hierarchy.  

"It's the Fatal flaw of mortal kind take away their free will and they call you a tyrant, allow them to indulge it and they become tyrants" 

 

A final point is since he’s a narcissist, he’s obsessed with his image, yea I know, very obvious. And it’s been mentioned a few times that this is probably why he and Haarlep look so different, it’s either insecurity or wanting to come across as something more mature, why he’d look older than Haarlep when they should be an exact copy. It’s the whole reason he’s been performing, curating this image to us, one that he barely even allows himself to break at home unless he’s enraged. If you look at it for what it is, it’s just insecurity and almost desperation. A desperate desire to be seen as something greater, something akin to his father (daddy issues are making their appearance) and it honestly comes across as erratic, and extreme. 

 

He’s so obsessed with his image that perhaps when Haarlep said they’re a perfect copy of Raphael they didn’t mean as an exact copy, they meant they’re are literally a perfect version of Raphael, a better version (most likely a result of insecurities of how he's perceived). Who can say for sure what the reason is why they look so different if they’re supposed to be mirrors of each other. His whole obsession with is image really matches his father, since Mephistopheles is known to change his appearance and curates it for mortals as well (It's why he's confused with Asmodeus a lot since he just goes for a basic generic devil look). 

One more thing, considering all the characters we meet throughout the game, Raphael is or is one of the oldest characters in-game, seeing as he's possibly 1000+ years old. Considering this, it makes sense that on top of him being a devil anyway, he finds himself detached from mortals as well as his own mortal half. Though he is quite proactive in his contract seeking seeing as he not only seeks us out but characters like Mol and Lyrthindor (Tho that was more towards orchestrating his own goals) Otherwise he can just sit up in his Ivory tower devoid of mortal's strive, I mean he even says multiple times that his house is a safe haven for the tired/sick/restless/etc. On top of him already trying to detach himself from his mortal half, he also has the benefit of being so old that he probably has already become numb to it, to mortal thoughts and feelings. He wouldn't be able to emphasize or understand it (tho him being a devil wouldn't have helped either) all he would understand is how to use their suffering to his own benefit. Any possibility for humanity within Raphael is either so faint it's practically not there or there is none left entirely.  

"Never have I been so attracted to mortals as I am to those infested by the tadpole." 

He even says this himself. Mortals have never had any impact on him, physically or emotionally. Yet in saying that, they've never really been given the chance to. The closest a mortal besides us the player to have ever gotten 'close' to Raphael or have impacted him is Hope. Raphael is not only a complex character but he has so many complex relationships with the few people he lets around him. As I said before Raphael is completely blinded to humanity, he's definitely a person who believes the ends justify the means and that has never been more evident than in what he does with Hope. He doesn't care what It takes just as long as it gets him what he wants, that's why he helps orchestrate the plot to lean in his favor, why he basically tricks Yurgir, and why he has no problem torturing Hope even though she's basically no one to him, she isn't even a debtor.  

Though Raphael is almost completely removed from being anything close to a human being, even after all this time, whether he likes it or not, he still does have some human traits. His interests for one help humanize him (Which tbh he is probably aware of and uses to his advantage) Sure he likes poetry and literature, but he's also just obsessed with everything surrounding Karsus and Hope (or at least the concept) He even names his house The House of Hope and whether he renamed it that after Hope or whether that was it's original name isn't clear but either way he really likes the idea of hope in hell. You can see this throughout his house on the little plaques he has scattered throughout, he definitely wants to be people's last hope or perhaps just hope in general, it would make sense as well since he wants to literally break hope and bend her under his will. 

"Karsus's folly the Bard and Scholars call it. I call it hope, the hope of creating a better world, and The Perils of unchecked hubris"  

(Karsus and Hope are basically his only two special interests that he starts to literally combine them) 

Another very human trait of Raphael’s is that Raphael has a fear of failure. He even has dreams about us destroying everything he's worked for and killing him.  

"There was one among them who spoke for the rest. They gestured to the melting hooks, suddenly glanced my way, and in their face I saw they had the best of me. 

In waking, my courage has firmed. I progress my plans for the tadpoled even now. 

I am Raphael. I am not easily bested." 

Even though he reassures himself that he is Raphael and cannot be easily bested it's clear he's still very desperate. The only variable in his plan that he can't truly control is Us and he definitely knows this. Even other characters like Gale can tell how desperate he is. His facade of Invincibility is one of the tactics he uses against us to keep us in check against him. To be honest, all these things lend to humanizing him far greater than any poetry or quote he could ever spout because it shows his vulnerability, it shows he's not as invincible as he'd like us to believe, that he does have weaknesses and can in fact fail. A very mortal trait to have in all fairness. 

Also on another quick note, he totally has a special interest (obsession) in Karsus, like him seeing Karsus accidentally kill thousands of people in the netherese cities became a core memory for him, one that he’s never let go, even now.  

"The archdevil Mephistopheles snatched up the crown and squirreled it away in one of his vaults. He is not more than a frigid archivist"  

"I want the crown that dominates the Elder brain and then we all Gather in the House of Hope me dressed in my finest silks, you skinless, hanging from a hook to watch as your world dies"  

"you would have been Heroes if you only dealt fairly with me, instead you're not so different to doomed Karsus, overreaching your limits and burning your world to Ash"  

"The screams oh the screams hundreds of thousands of people watching in horror as the ground came up to meet them" 

His ambitions seem to be fueled a lot by his narcissism and this belief that he can achieve all he's set out for and actually do a good job in implementing order, etc. Whether this is a founded belief or not is debatable, since we don't really know what he achieves past supposedly Avernus. 

"Though with the crown, I would impose perfect order, Unity, efficiency, control, my kingdom would control its borders and stay within them" (Sure pal) 

OK, onto the kicker here; Raphael is a very alluring character, he can even come across as flirtatious at times (Also through his body language and I obvs can't demonstrate that here but u get it) Throughout the game he's saying how he'll wine and dine us if we give him what he wants, yet In the ending where we actually give him the crown, I think it's so telling that after all his promises of dining with him and getting to see him again if we deliver it, he literally doesn't follow through at all (There's a debate for this since we don't know if he might've once his plans were done) and this just proves what we were to him; that we were in fact just pawns to him. Even if he does invite us to dine with him, it'll most likely be with a purpose, that he wants something from us or for us to do something for him because otherwise he's gotten all we wanted from us, the facade has been lifted and he doesn't need to try charm or threaten us, he's effectively done with us (literally, since it is an ending). It's all just another aspect of his manipulation and Persona he uses against us (And I mean, It worked) We're all just a means to an end for him. 

ALSO, A little side thing I should note is the silly lil Dark humor Raphael has. Raphael, being a devil and all, definitely has a dark humor. You can defo gather that from his dialogue but also the way he comes up with creative punishments for his debtors. Now some of it is just basic evil shit like the guy who does the Self-flagellation stuff and the one who's forced to act like a dog, but some of it is more than that, like the guy who worships his chamber pot which just so happens to be under the statue of Mephistopheles or the debtor who's forced to dance (which I think is a reference to The Red Shoes story/movie where the character is literally forced to keep dancing) or the chick who just voyeuristically watches what goes down in the boudoir, like yea it's horrible but sometimes it just cartoonishly ridiculous and you can't help but find it somewhat amusing. 

"Hope [Laughter] such a tease" like when he says this, unbeknownst to us, he's referring to the real-life Hope, more of an inside joke to himself really. 

On top of all that - this specific paragraph isn't really poignant to Raphael's character necessarily, it's more of a personal observation but - I think if there were to ever be a romance with Raphael the best option is to not give him the crown (tho I do kinda wanna see him with his lil crown being the prince of hell). It's similar to Gortash, in that if you want to be his equal you shouldn't grovel and just give him the netherese shards, you need to challenge him and show your mettle basically. Now I'm not saying Raphael would be pleased with this, but if you wanted to be an equal, this is the best route, otherwise, there's always going to be that power imbalance like with ascended Astarion. (AKA, kill him, Do It) 

My final point that I wanna make is, that all the characters in Bg3 are designed with a fatal disbelief. Y'know Gale believes if he becomes a god he can prove himself to Mystra, Lae'zeel believes that  Vlaakith is righteous and will allow her to ascend, Shadowheart believes she can find herself/ her purpose in Shar, and Astarion believes he'll finally be safe if he becomes the vampire ascendant, yet we that these believes are all unfounded and end up being untrue wif they achieve them, and the same goes for Raphael. Now, if Raphael achieves his goal of getting the crown, he most likely will still end up not getting what he wants, for two reasons; Asmodeus literally cannot be defeated - Let me explain; So there are a few origins for Asmodeus and to most popularized one (and the one I prefer) is the one where he and some of the other archdevils were actually previously angels that got corrupted while fighting demons. 

Yet, in earlier editions, it's stated that all of that is just speculation and mythos surrounding Asmodeus and his real origin is that he is literally a cosmic force that was there at the beginning of time. OK. Now personally I don't care for this origin but either way, whichever one you believe I think my next point still stands the same. Whether Asmodeus is just a being that has achieved something as close to godhood as he can or a literal cosmic force of lawful evil, Raphael probably would still be unable to defeat him even with the Crown and scepter and any other of Karsus's little items, he most likely if anything could only get to the eighth layer. Now in saying this, this is still not his disbelief, because his personal belief is also one that all devils share, which is a complete lie, that being the entire hierarchy they abide by. Every devil abides by this meritocracy hierarchy, and the belief that if they become more powerful, and ascend - that they can reach Asmodeus status, but this is a complete an utter lie. Asmodeus keeps this facade that he could be defeated, but in truth, he's kinda way too powerful for any of the devils in hell, and he knows this and uses it as a tactic to keep them in his control.  

Now Raphael to some extent knows that he has to basically cheat to be even able to ascend, since he's a cambion and the hells system wasn't exactly designed for him to be promoted. Yet even if he manages to conquer every layer up to Cania, he's still going to lose since he's basically destroying the hierarchy and therefore he won't have control over the devils beneath him. Now the crown can be used to literally dominate people but that's not what Raphael necessarily wants - He wants to be adored and willingly followed, and of course, he'll use the crown when he has to, but to wholly subjugate everyone in hell to mindlessly obey doesn't seem to be his goal. There are more practical reasons as well why there are certain devils that have control over the layers, and Raphael, no matter what power he can possess, is still just one individual, and inevitably it seems as though there would be a lot of chaos rather the perfect order he believes he can achieve. 

I know that the crown can basically make you a god, and if Asmodeus has powers akin to a god and Raphael can theoretically do the same, then why can't he just defeat Asmodeus? well, it goes into Raphael's fatal flaw, his arrogance. If we look at Gale, for example, he made himself a literal god and still wasn't powerful enough to defeat Mystra, and yes, Raphael 'Is no mortal' but this is what I mean, he believes is above Karsus and Gale, that he'll succeed where they failed but that's just not the case. Like I've said before, Raphael desperately wants to be seen as more, his ego won't let him accept anything less but that still doesn't change the fact that he is fallible, and we don't have to look any further than when we managed to defeat him. Now in saying all this, this is all theoretical and kind of bleeds more into an opinion, since we don't know what plays out after he gets Avernus, perhaps the other archdevils managed to kill him before he achieved anything, or perhaps he really did manage to conquer Baator and the other realms, Who knows. (I might be cooked for saying this, especially since I do wanna see him be a lil prince of hell, but arguably giving him the crown, besides being our bad ending, is also his bad ending - No further explanation) 

Like I know I said, this is what I’ve boggled it down to and well, it’s not very boggled, but that’s what I mean! There’s so much going on with this little guy, it’s almost hard to keep up with, you gotta write him as suave and mysterious but also somewhat threatening and intimidating, he has to be articulate and persuasive as well as theatrical, while also keeping in mind his manipulative and narcissistic/egotistical tendencies, which doesn’t come easy to write for. 

This isn’t a slight by any means either, he’s a complicated character and that’s why I like him, but my sorry ass struggles to replicate it 🥲 though I hope this post will be a good reference to circle back to when writing for him. 

[johnslittlespoon]

thinking unholy thoughts of gale making john come untouched with only his fingers in the biker au… maybe john didn’t even know it was possible so when gale keeps going he gets confused and is like “i’m good im ready” but gale keeps going 😅

au post | ohhh man okay. yeah feeling super extremely sane and normal about this, never been better! thanks! ~2k words of nsfw filth below the cut sighhhh

okay, prefaced with a little more world building in my last post since we're really diving into this au now LOL. ofc things might change when i actually write it, but this is how i'm feeling things will go rn!

re: 'maybe john didn't even know it was possible'– like i said in the drabble before this, he's fooled around a little with curt, but nothing more than getting a bit handsy. he's had a girlfriend for around a year, so they were probably serious enough to get up to things too, but straight sex is very different from gay sex obviously.

the internet exists, and during the time john is pining(thirsting) over gale, he probably does his fair share of googling 'blond man with tattoos fucks brunet man', but really he's kinda intimidated by a lot of stuff, so he doesn't delve too deep into that world. when he and gale start seeing each other and john realizes they're gonna move past making out eventually (because gale is almost such a gentleman sometimes that john wants to bash his head in in his impatience), he probably psychs himself out a bit and gets into his own head and is like fuck.

gale's had years to gain experience and what if he's not good enough or does something stupid or or or, on and on. obviously these worries are completely unfounded because gale adores him and would never pressure him and doesn't expect them to just jump right into things; half of the reason he probably drags things out is because he wants to be absolutely certain things are on john's terms, and that john's not just being horny and impulsive.

john probably ends up trying to do some research so he can yk. pick up some tips, because he's got all the enthusiasm he needs when he thinks about getting to drop to his knees for gale, but he has no idea what he's doing and he doesn't realize everyone learns as they go because he's dumb (/fond) and overthinks everything. (whatever he ends up learning doesn't matter anyway, because all coherent thought leaves his head when they do start doing stuff together and gale is so encouraging and easygoing that he feels ridiculous for ever worrying.)

all that is to say that yeah, he's got like no firsthand experience when it comes to anything past the basics or anything he hasn't been doing by himself. everything is fresh and exciting and as much as he loves just hanging around gale, he's also always needy and horny (gets told he's "insatiable" quite a few times by gale) so they get up to a lot of shit and it's unfair how good gale is in bed and how he knows exactly which buttons to press to get john worked up.

at the time this incident happens, gale's already fingered john a few times, but it's always just as a build up/foreplay, usually followed or joined with gale's other hand or lips around john's cock. they haven't had sex yet, and it feels really nice when gale does this, but john always just kinda sees it as foreplay and it doesn't last for long.

so when gale's got john laid in his bed one sunny afternoon and they're making out and john starts getting whiny and squirmy from the stimulation of his fingers in him, and gale doesn't switch things up like he usually does, john's heart leaps because in his mind, surely gale's getting him ready for something else.

but he's frustrated because it feels like gale's purposefully avoiding hitting right where he needs him to, pants out gale's name against his lips, grasping the back of gale's shirt. starts rocking his hips down against his fingers, seeking it out, and gale rumbles out a "needy thing" before pressing a kiss to his cheek and crawling down the length of his body, settling himself between john's legs.

john props himself up on his elbows to watch, cheeks flushed and eyelids heavy, digging his fingers into the blanket instead. he lets out a little whine at the slow drag of gale's fingers, and that finally makes him cave, crooking his fingers just right, and john's lips part at the way the sudden surge of pleasure zings up his spine.

lets his elbows slide out from underneath himself, dropping back down into the pillow, satisfied he's finally getting what he's been waiting for since gale worked him open ten minutes ago. he waits for stimulation on his cock to join the fingers in him as usual, assuming that's why gale moved to lay there, but gale just keeps up the slow in and out and consistent brushes against his prostate and its embarrassing how much he's leaking all over his own stomach.

but then he has the thought that maybe gale's actually properly prepping him and his cock twitches and his breath catches and he props himself up again to find gale already watching him. he waits expectantly, too shy to ask, and gale doesn't offer him any confirmation, just pressing gentle kisses to his thighs and smiling when john's hips start to roll down against his fingers again.

john thinks that maybe gale's waiting for him to say he's ready, since he does often make him ask for what he wants, so even as his cheeks go hot, he gets out a breathy "gale, i'm– that's good, 'm ready."

but gale only chuckles quietly, nipping at his thigh to feel it twitch away, watching john in a way that makes him feel somehow even more exposed than he already is, and now he's even more confused and he feels like he's melting into the bed and gale's putting a little more pressure into each crook of his fingers and the sounds he's making are so whiny and high pitched that he wants to cover his own ears out of embarrassment.

"does it feel good, doll?" gale purrs, dragging john's eyes back to him, and he nods, twisting his hands in the blankets harder. it does feel good, enough so that heat is pooling in his stomach in a way that's both familiar and foreign, the sensation all different with no friction against his dick.

gale's working his hand a little faster and john's face burns at the realization that he's being finger–fucked like a girl and he drops back into the pillows, arms going too weak to hold himself up. his thighs are starting to tremble and gale murmurs that he's "making such a mess on yourself, baby, look at you" and john immediately reaches down to take his dick in his hand, but gale catches his wrist with his free hand, slowing his movements down, much to john's dismay.

"no hands today, john," he says gently, letting go of his wrist. "i want you to keep them at your side for me, can you do that?"

and john lets out a near hysterical noise but he obliges, grabbing fistfuls of the blanket again, head spinning at being given an instruction, biting down on the inside of his cheek when gale speeds his fingers up again with a "good job, baby."

the heat builds and builds as gale's fingers hit right where they need to each time, and it feels like he's just hanging on the edge of an orgasm for so long, unable to tip over that edge, eyes blurring over from how overwhelming the drawn out sweet–hot pleasure is. he's mindlessly rocking his hips down and panting out little "ah ah ah"s with each thrust of gale's fingers and he's so close to lifting his hand from his side when a sob of frustration slips out.

but gale presses his lips to his thigh again, sucking at the sensitive skin there, pulls back to murmur a stream of "c'mon sweet thing, come on my fingers, show me how good you feel, you can do it" and john chokes out a cry as he clenches around his fingers and comes so hard he nearly blacks out, back arching and hips stuttering up like he can get friction that way.

gale's hand chases his jerking movements, continuing to fuck him on his fingers as john paints his own stomach, cock pulsing, feeling like he's just going to keep coming and coming, mewling desperately and shaking like a leaf and seeing stars behind his closed eyelids.

he closes his thighs against gale's sides when it starts to be too much, hands shaking when reaches down to tiredly push at him, hips stuttering away from the stimulation, hiccupping as he tries to catch his breath. he can feel hot tears soaking into the hair at his temples, lips parted in surprise, shuddering when gale lets his movements slow down until his fingers go still.

john whines when he pulls them out, despite his efforts to squirm away from them moments before, and gale presses a kiss to his hip before he crawls back up his body, cupping john's face with the hand not covered in lube, and john's eyes flutter open, bleary when they focus in on the expression of awe on gale's face.

"fuck, john," gale sounds almost as breathless as him. "you're crying, baby. was that okay?" john nods shakily, tilting his chin up for a kiss, and gale leans down without missing a beat, kissing him so deep it feels like he wants to devour him. mumbles "you have no idea what you do to me" against john's lips, brushing his fingers over the tear streaks on either side of his face, peppering his red cheeks with light kisses before pulling back again.

"felt good?" he murmurs, and john chokes out a laugh at the understatement, draping his wrist over his forehead. "really good," he breathes out, flushing when he opens his mouth again, "didn't know that was, um. a thing." and gale half laughs, half groans at the admission, rolling his hips down, and john sucks in a sharp breath at the drag of his pants, cock twitching even after all that.

gale doesn't mind; he's more than happy to watch his pretty boy fall apart on his fingers, mouth, cock, as many times as john lets him.

[avelera]

So I've been watching Three Body Problem with my partner and we just got to Episode 5. It has (spoilers) a pretty gruesome scene in it from the book, very bloody. I literally didn't watch it, just listened and watched my partner's (shocked) face throughout it.

This got me thinking. Not so much about Three Body Problem, because I haven't finished it yet nor read the books so I haven't really formed any sort of opinion on the show or the overall story, but more on Benioff and Weiss.

While looking away from That Scene I was curious if it was even in the book, so I was looking that up instead of watching. It was, but sure enough, Benioff and Weiss had embellished it.

I'll discuss it in more detail beneath the cut to avoid spoilers but suffice to say this is my take away:

For Benioff and Weiss, it's always been about cruelty. The chance to show cruelty above and beyond the source material, using the source material only as a spring board to delve into horrific imagery, is literally what attracts them to the stories they choose to depict.

And I felt like I'm taking crazy pills when I pointed this out all through the Game of Thrones era, not so much no one was figuring it out but because it felt like no one in the mainstream media was talking about it. They'd get asked these deep artistic questions about a certain scene (like the quote below which has spoilers) and it would be asked completely seriously and they'd give this answer like, "Oh we didn't want to show all that gore but we had no choice."

And I'm just sitting their flabbergasted like... what the fuck are you talking about, just admit that's what you wanted to depict?? That's what gave you a boner to tell this particular story??

Let me be clear, an artist choosing to depict gore and cruelty isn't a problem. I'm not a horror fan but it's not like I think horror shouldn't exist, or gore, or horrifying scenes that shock us to our marrow. That's very much a thing art can and should do!

I just feel like I'm fucking crazy because Benioff and Weiss and the people interviewing them never seem to get that this is their story kink. They always put this like... veneer of genteel shock and respectability over their questions about the cruel and gorey scenes they depict, like it just happened that way, when it's really really clear this is the stuff they like showing the most.

Benioff and Weiss's Game of Thrones was literally more gorey, graphic, and dehumanizing in places than the actual book. Where they departed from the books was, more often than not, to make things more abjectly cruel, dehumanizing, and shocking towards the characters. That's what they like doing as creators.

So this scene in Three Body Problem...

(SPOILERS)

... Where the ship gets slashed to ribbons and little children are literally shredded apparently isn't even depicted in the book.

"“We wanted to show it, we didn’t want to evade it,” Benioff said at a roundtable earlier this month. “I think when you actually see something on a screen, it is going to be more horrific than in the book. You’re reading these descriptions, but you’re not seeing blood, you’re not seeing a bunch of kids running away, you’re not seeing children’s backpacks getting split in half.” (source)

Didn't want to evade it? The book literally doesn't show children getting shredded and you went out of your way to show us numerous scenes introducing these children just so you can lovingly show them and their world get shredded to ribbons while completely aware and confronting the full horror of their fates like...

Again, I am not trying to moralize here. There is a space for horror, there is a space for exploring horrible things happening to innocents.

But they always talk about these very deliberate depictions of abject cruelty as if it's just *shrugs* "What can ya do? It had to be done!" NO IT DIDN'T. IT'S LITERALLY NOT IN THE BOOK IN THAT WAY. JUST OWN IT. OWN YOUR ARTISTIC VISION. OWN THE FACT YOU GLORY IN MAKING SLASHER LEVELS OF GORE AND TORTURE AND DEHUMANIZATION. STOP BEING SO FUCKING GENTEEL ABOUT IT. JUST FUCKING... LEAN IN TO WHAT YOU ARE INSTEAD OF ACTING LIKE IT WASN'T THE CHANCE TO SHOW CRUELTY THAT ATTRACTED YOU TO THE STORY IN THE FIRST PLACE.

And just as a lateral, US politics note, it felt like this under Trump too. I'm not saying artists depicting cruelty in an artistic work is anything like a politician with real power reveling in flexes of power channeled towards deliberate acts of fascistic cruelty.

But in both cases I felt like I was taking crazy pills because the media would just... speculate about the root desire behind such actions? Like "What could possibly be motivating these guys? Gosh, we don't know, to say what's actually happening here would be far too gauche so we'll just pretend it was an unpleasant byproduct of their TRUE goals, whatever those may be, no matter how implausible they may be."

Like: it's cruelty! The point is cruelty! Some people are just sadists! Some people get off on hurting others or in having the power to hurt others OR (and this is by far the only acceptable version of this and by the way it's completely acceptable to do this in FICTION) in creating artistic works that depict terrible cruelty and sadism.

... So anyway, I definitely went into Three Body Problem going, "Huh, I wonder why Benioff and Weiss chose THIS supremely difficult story to adapt as one of their next big projects?" And then I saw the boat getting shredded and the children they added to the loving depictions of gore and was like, "... Ah, yes. That's why."

(Edit: Just to be clear for those thinking of watching the show, it's not a gore-fest. It was easy to see this scene coming and to look away for it. There's some other moments of violence but those are also pretty easy to anticipate and look away from. This isn't a slasher horror show and it's had a lot of good points (so far). This particular scene just made me go, "Ah, there's the Benioff and Weiss I remember.")

[lowkeyrobin]

handsome bros and reader doing tubbathon together? just being super chaotic, im thinking that one clip where scott and aimsey r singing ceilings by lizzie mcalpine, and then tubbo asked if she had schizophrenia.

in oneshot format preferably

also could i be 💿anon, if it's free?

oooo okay, I haven't even written yet but so sorry if it's short/weird in general, I had no idea what to do here for some reason lmao ; and yes ofc! welcome 💿 anon :) ; also wrote this while sick with no functioning braincells so ignore the weirdness lmao

HANDSOME BROS ; tubbathon

summary ; chaotic tubbathon moments with the handsome bros

warnings ; language, cringe, talk of fetishes, troom troom & 5 minute crafts (everything said about these channels is real btw)

word count ; 916

masterlist

"Did you listen to that song I sent you?" You ask, turning to Tommy next to you.

He shyly and slowly shakes his head no.

"Bro, why not?"

"I forgot! I forgot, I swear" He half-laughs, raising his hands in defense before the play fighting and shouting began. "I meant to listen to it when you sent it to me but I was eating with Molly and fell asleep watching a movie"

Ranboo raises an eyebrow, "What song?"

"Yeah! by Ludacris"

"Oh my God I love that song!" Ranboo and Freddie exclaim in unison, sending the three of you into fits of laughter.

Tubbo is silent as he sits in front of his setup, just watching you talk for a moment. He then speaks up, confused.

"Tommy, have you never listened to Yeah?"

"No, I don't think so" The blonde answers with a shrug. "Y/n was talking about how it's an American classic or something"

"You sound so stupid right now" Ranboo chuckles.

Within the span of the next minute or so, it turned into you, Ranboo, and Freddie singing a portion of the song since Tubbo couldn't play it on stream, the two T's just watching and listening. This was quite usual, just, odd, but it made sense because the three of you were all running off of adrenaline and coffee at this point. The sun had set long ago, it was about midnight, and you were all having a sleepover anyways, so why not make the stream fun before you all passed out?

"Up in the club with my homies, trying to get a lil V-I, keep it down on the lowkey" Ranboo, starts, pulling you into the song halfway through the line as the others begin to smile and laugh.

"You should know how it feels" You look to the Webcam with the weird TikTok fuckboy look, a sideways L made from your pointer finger and thumb under your chin.

Freddie joins in by the next line, on your left, slinging an arm around your shoulders, which starts a slight school-play-remix of the song.

"I seen shorty, she was checking on me, from the game she was spitting in my ear, you would think that she know me" Freddie runs a hand through his hair to fix it up a bit.

The three of you turn it into a full-blown trio song, singing together as Tubbo and Tommy laugh and smile, with the chat spamming the lyrics along.

"I decided to chill, conversation got heavy, she had me feeling like she was ready to blow!" Ranboo giggles, trying to maintain their composure. "She's saying come get me, so I got up and followed her to the floor. She said baby let's go!"

The loudest point of the song now came, with Tubbo moving towards the side so you could be in full focus of the camera while Tommy records you three to the side, wanting to show Molly.

"When I told her, I said yeah! Shorty got down low, said 'come and get me!"

The three of you begin dancing in your seats as you sing along, hiding laughter, which was evident in the way you sang-shouted. You go through the whole song, including a tap-dancing bit from Ranboo, which you didn't understand whatsoever. But, as time passes, the five of you begin to delve into the deep abyss of 5 Minute Crafts and Troom Troom on stream, creating a whole section of commentary together.

"This has to be fetish content." You comment, watching in creeped-out-awe as the video is just about people sitting on and squishing things.

"I can't see how it isn't" Ranboo shrugs, "Who is watching this?"

"Probably like, middle aged moms, you'd think" Tubbo replies, "Or like, brainrotted YouTube Kids children"

"Probably the latter"

The group votes on no more Troom Troom, feeling genuinely weirded out by some of the stuff on their page. You get Tubbo to pull up 5 Minute Crafts, a much better option.

"I hope that slide caves in" Tommy comments, seeing a thumbnail or a slide being made out of cardboard boxes.

"Me too, brother" You smile, "I mean how would it not? That child looks like they're maybe 80 pounds, this is a safety violation"

"Oh my God" Tubbo speaks, resting his head in his hands.

Freddie is the first to laugh, doubling over in his chair as Tubbo clicks on the video with the cursed thumbnail. "Did you see that?"

"Y/n was right, this has to be fetish content"

"What fetish includes eating off of toilet seats!?" Tommy loudly questions, seeing you stare into space out of shock and concern.

"That's probably the worst idea to solve that problem too, like, it'll still roll off and it hurts to have a whole toilet seat around your neck, ceramic or not" Ranboo chuckles, repositioning to sit criss-cross in their chair.

"Oh my God" You cringe, "Why are we putting pounds of garlic into a stick of butter??"

"I bet you that texture is so rank when you taste it..." Tommy cringes as well, seeing the oil being frozen after baking for reusable purposes. "It looks chunky!"

Freddie fake gags, crying about how he wanted to go home.

"Okay, no more!" Tubbo chuckles, clicking away to the YouTube home page. "Enough of that, I feel myself losing braincells"

Tommy shouts, hands to his mouth to create more sound. "Troom Troom for president 2024!"

"And I thought what we had was already awful"

[gffa]

Dearest gffa, you are the only person I know whose been reading Batfamily comics. (Though I do read some of the fanfic haha). The destiel meme informed me that Bad Things just happened in the latest comics. Is there a primer to the latest drama? (Everyone seems upset). Are you ok?

Best wishes, your fandom neighbor on Star Wars Street

I assume this is about the Batman #148 leaks? I haven't seen a ton of drama (other than a couple of posts, including the Destiel meme notification that got me to go see what was happening) but if that's it, it's kind of funny, because okay. As far as I've seen (the issue isn't even out yet, so I can't read it until tomorrow, I'm only going on the leaked panels I've seen) what happens in the issue is that Failsafe-- okay, let me back up. In the current Batman run (written by Chip Zdarsky), awhile back Bruce created a super powerful robot that was meant to be activated in the case of him going rogue so that it could take him down, and it's very coldly logical, based on his patterns, so it knows him extremely well and is hard to beat. It's powerful enough that it apparently took out the Justice League awhile back (I haven't read that arc yet, so take that with a grain of salt), which means now that Failsafe has gone rogue in the current Batman series that Zdarsky's writing, Bruce is having a hell of a time fighting it, especially with his "backup personality" Zur-En-Arrh (Bruce is a paranoid shit and I love him the most) is also running amok in his head and he's fighting back against that. Back up further--in late 2023, there was an event called "Gotham War" that was basically, "Bruce has been through a lot of shit lately, so he was out of commission for several months, in that time Selina stepped up in Gotham and started training crooks to be cat burglars instead of rogues' goons, Bruce woke up, thought this was bullshit, despite that crime was down, and they basically had a turf war while Bruce was losing his goddamned mind because of what he'd been through and because Zur-En-Arrh was literally ratting the bars of the cage of his mind, and part of the fallout being that Bruce dosed Jason with a gas that basically made his adrenaline go wild any time he would do anything dangerous, so that he could no longer be in this life of crime or vigilantism, because Jason had killed a lot of people, but Bruce couldn't bear to send him to jail, so this was the only way he could live with taking Jason out of the life they lived". Gotham War was extremely controversial--I had fun with it, because it was BONKERS and I fuckin' love bonkers stuff in the "punching people in the face solves crime" genre, but a lot of people were really angry about how Jason was treated in the arc. Zdarsky co-wrote Gotham War, so this is a continuation of a lot of people's frustration and anger towards how Jason has been treated by DC especially by this author.

There's also a lot of lingering frustration and resentment in fandom because Jason is not always written well or frequently. He doesn't have his own solo book these days, half of what's written about him is written by authors with VASTLY different takes from the other half of the writers out there, and there's a lot of fanon that goes around with Jason's sub-section of fandom where I think it furthers the divide because the fic that's written about Jason delves deep into his character in specific ways that the canon doesn't match and I think it can set expectations for some fans that are just not matched by DC themselves, either because they see Jason differently or because Jason just doesn't have a lot of fans at the company itself, I couldn't say for sure. So, now comes Batman #148 leaks (it's not actually out until tomorrow), where Failsafe kills Jason and Bruce has a dramatic reaction to it, and a lot of people are furious that DC would kill Jason at all, much less with such little fanfare, after how little focus he's gotten over the last several years. The thing is, though, that Jason doesn't stay dead, he's alive again by the end of the issue (I've seen panels from later in the issue) and I'm not sure how many people are reacting just to seeing the posts flying around fandom versus how many people have actually seen the whole context. Because context is slowly rolling out, but people generally aren't soothed by that, given the lead-up to this moment. Basically, years of Jason not getting much focus in the comics + the events of Gotham War have led to a powderkeg of a situation and the contextless leaks (ie, without the panel where Jason's alive again) took a match to the whole thing. And that's what's going on, as far as I know! I personally am having a great time because I was extremely skeptical that they would actually kill Jason without any fanfare and also I like Jason as a hot mess with crunchy relationships with people and that he's done bad things and had bad things done to him/been a victim as well, so all this messy drama in the story has me living for it. (This would have been a very different situation if I'd thought Jason was really dead, but I didn't, so I'm doing fine right now. Also, my Blorbo is Dick Grayson, so I've already been through this wringer and I'm still mad at DiDio for it, so it's Jason-Blorbo's time now.)

[crystalelemental]

We have finished the Dungeon Meshi anime. I'll type out thoughts, but I feel like I can easily summarize as "It's really good, you should watch it." I was also asked to talk about favorite characters so like. Get ready for that one.

As a whole, Dungeon Meshi is excellent. My wife has an anecdote she likes to tell about it, where before we even watched it, I told her about the general premise and that people were talking about it and it sounded neat and I wanted to pick it up if she'd like to watch. And as happens sometimes, I get the response of "I'll probably look at my phone and just watch it in the background," which is usually "I'm not too interested but put on what you want to put on." And after the first episode she was completely invested. The show is really charming really fast.

Thing is, for as fun adventure as it starts, it does a lot seriously that lands spectacularly well. The first instance of "oh wow, this show is for real" is the well-documented living armor bit. The biology that goes into these monsters is amazing. My personal favorite is still the treasure bugs and mimics interaction, which is just incredible to me, but every time they talk about monster biology and their function it's a treat.

Exploration stuff is also really cool. There's another great post that went around talking about how this party really is more of an old-school dungeon crawler party, where skills for survival like Chilchuck's are essentially the most valuable, rather than combat ability. It does really have that feel, and it's great. I also just love how some of the magic works. Things like mana sickness are cool, but resurrection is my personal favorite. They make a big deal about the black magic kind being forbidden, but watching it in action, it functions just like the stuff that's on the level; blood pools and congeals back in the body, the black magic just involved reconstructing flesh. Marcille's point about black magic not being inherently bad is fair; it doesn't seem all that different. But perceptions are really different regarding it.

They haven't delved too far into it yet, but there are tensions between the fantasy races, and plenty of biases going around. Some are a bit more obvious, like Marcille really not trusting the orcs, while others are more like Shuro's one party member who just refers to the dwarves as just "dwarf," even as she's praising Senshi's cooking. Kabru's got his own hangups regarding how the elves handle things with the dungeons, and openly admits to the imbalance in power between races and how that negatively impacts everyone. I imagine this starts to be more prominent in the second half now that all the establishing stuff is done.

As for cast...they're really strong. Laios' group is all great, I loved them all. Marcille is my favorite, personally, because of course she is. From silly magic elf girl, to oh she's actually super smart, to oh she's super smart in ancient criminal magic fuck yeah girl. Marcille's a delight. Chilchuck was the easy least favorite of the group starting out, but he's really grown on me. Izutsumi is peak cat. Laios is really interesting as a protagonist, I like him a lot. I think the conflicts he gets into are...very real, in a way. Like, he has amazing strengths that make him great at what he's doing, but the flaws in his character inform what struggles they encounter in a really believable way. I like him a lot. Senshi is cool. Falin needs more time, and you have no idea how bummed I am that the season ended with a little snapshot that Chimera Falin and Thistle are having hijinks off-screen, I need that spinoff.

The other groups are less developed, but I'm sure Aera will be happy to hear this: god damn do I love Kabru. This dude rules. I saw people talk about him on Tumblr so I recognized him the instant he showed up, but his first "proper" introduction is stupendous, showing his general people-reading and ability to gather information, and his adherence to a sense of justice that's just as much about meting out punishment as anything else. Him killing those dudes was great, loved that. And the barely concealed excitement over black magic is hilarious. Then he gets to show off that he's basically an assassin class, knowing where to strike for instant kills, has a whole chat with Shuro about recognizing the racial discrepancy in the world at large, and tries to play an entire room full of elves. I dunno, like the guy a lot. He's shrewd, and he's got moxie. I do admit that, while I get the fandom is really attached to Laios and Kabru as a ship, I...have no strong feelings about it. I do, oddly, like him and Rin. Their dynamic in the show was fairly cute, and admittedly some supplemental material I saw posted really got me invested in her. The rest of his party...I have no particular feelings about. It's just him and Rin to me for now.

Shuro's party is even less interesting. I do like Shuro, I think he's a really neat character. But his group hasn't done anything all that interesting to me yet. They kinda showed up to get bodied by Chimera Falin and drive tension as the group that first knows about black magic.

Similar deal with Namari's group? If anything I think the old gnome dude is in the running for general least favorite character. I don't hate the guy, but he's done nothing to endear himself. I have no strong perspectives yet.

For characters that need more time in the oven, there is the question of the Canaries. I've seen a tidbit about them, but my general assumption of them is the whole "Canary in the coalmine," they're the frontliners for dungeons that are sent in and risk death to assess the threat level. Which is neat, would like to know what that deal is. But #1 most invested in learning more about is Thistle. Love that design, love the general vibe he puts out, but also the reveal that he was hired as the court jester who happened to also become the most powerful mage of the kingdom is really, really good. That's both hilarious and awesome. I don't even know this guy and I think he's the shit.

I am wildly invested in season 2, and if it weren't for me working for a school and going through summer months unpaid, I'd probably be buying the entire manga like right now. As it stands I'll have to wait a bit for that, but it's probably happening. I've seen plenty of commentary about things the anime couldn't fit in that are hilarious or interesting, and it feels like one I'd like to read as well, even if I plan to fully go through the anime. Huge fan, glad we got an immediate announcement of season 2, really looking forward to more.

[foibles-fables]

Ooh I also have horizon 3 thoughts/predictions!

I think Vast Silver is gonna be involved somehow maybe to combat Nemesis, or possibly in a dlc like we had Cyan from Frozen Wilds? Since it’s the final game it seems likely they’ll finally have Aloy meet this mysterious elusive AI.

Also thinking Elysium will be the ruins location (like how we had the Alpha’s place in HZD and Thebes in HFW) since we’ve heard about it but not found it yet

I was also hoping to finally explore Oseram territory when looking for these old world weapons, seems Oseram delving could come in handy there. Depends if they’re gonna introduce more new tribes across the sea like the Quen or further explore the ones they have currently, maybe both? Like half the map is across the sea/Quen territory and half is the mainland 🤔

It’s exciting to think about anyway! Can’t wait for your thoughts!

I totally agree about VAST SILVER and Elysium. They're one of the very few oft-mentioned threads left hanging since the beginning of the series. I do think their plot relevance will be connected--VS involved in whatever befell Elysium--but even if they're not intertwined, they'll be integral.

I'm thinking we'll have to befriend VS to be a boon in our efforts against HEPH and/or Nemesis. Given 1) VS's disposition in the Burning Shores datapoint and 2) Elisabet's (therefore Aloy's and Beta's) connection with Anita Sandoval--therefore VS's potential development re: AI and the illegal Turing number--there's a lot there to be explored.

As for Elysium, I'm betting it'll be part of The Claim. Since The Claim was originally intended to be part of HZD, there's an overwhelming chance that it'll be involved in HFW. Petra for ealdorwoman PLEASE. Also, there's hints that point to Elysium being there. It's "within miles of" GAIA Prime, per HZD datapoints, which could put its ruin in The Claim.

As for new tribes--I genuinely hope we don't get any. At all. We already couldn't give all of the existing tribes their due in HFW (where were the Banuk?) and to add more in H3 would be unnecessary bloat, given the scope of what the game has to accomplish.

Related to that last point--and potentially a very, very controversial opinion--I don't think we'll be actually seeing Quen lands. Londra's data at the end of Burning Shores gives us five places to investigate, some we've seen, some we haven't, all in the same geographical vicinity as the regular map. (One of the looks to be near Malmstrom Air Base...HELLO BAN-UR!) Given that we have to deal with HEPH and Nemesis and bringing together all of the existing tribes--to handle the Quen revolution just doesn't fit. Plus the decentralization from the last two games is dissonant, to place half the map there...not to mention some of the continued problematic optics that would come up if the revolution turns into Aloy's Doing. Save that for a future spin-off.

...or, more likely, I do believe a contingency of the Quen will be coming to us as H3's primary human enemy (as the Eclipse or the Rebels). GIVE ME LOYALIST FEDERA.

I personally think the map will be centered on Meridian, extending to the Sacred Land in the east, with a somewhat condensed map of the West to Legacy's Landfall--with new areas of The Claim and Banuk to the north.

[dearlymrme]

“if we weren’t in public right now i’d have my head between your legs” and “i love the way you look with my fingers inside you” could pair together nicely with Terzo? (That second part with makes me think about the Cirice microphone stand thing 🫠)

Thank you very much for the ask, and you're right. They do go together quite well. Figure I'd add getting caught in the act to it as well, just as a little treat.

Rated R (Terzo x Reader)

Terzo x Reader || Public Sex || Fingering || Caught In The Act || Exhibitionism

You keep your face still, betraying nothing of what is happening besides that the movie is the best in the box office even thirty minutes in. Terzo's attention span, however, left twenty-five minutes ago. Or perhaps it was never there to begin with. Maybe this was his plan all along. You should have known to be suspicious when he showed off those romcom tickets with that boyish smile.

You bite your lips and try to stifle a moan. Glancing around the movie theater, gauging the crowd, it seems nobody has noticed has noticed you. Then again, the movie theater wasn't that full. There were more people sitting in front of you and behind you rather than in the row beside you. There was a single lonely woman at the end of the row, but her attention was transfixed on the movie and chewing away at a large bucket of popcorn. If anyone was going to notice you, it would be her.

"I think it would be more suspicious to see someone looking around and away from the movie instead of watching it." Terzo whispers, snickering from beside you. You take deep breath through your nose. The man glanced in the direction you were looking to see you eyeing your long-distance neighbor.

He smirked and pressed his lips to your war, whispering hotly.

"All she needs to do is glance over, and she'll see." You shake your head and try not to believe it, paranoia rising because he's right. One errant glance in your direction, and she'll notice. Despite how much you hate it, how flushed and embarrassed you feel, it sends zips and shocks of tension to your core.

"Stop it." You weakly whisper back, bite with no teeth. It fails to be threatening to him, especially when he angles his hand just right and causes a ripple of shakes to move through your body. He'll admit, he is rather impressed with you. You're normally very vocal in bed, and he's amazed that you haven't made a peep yet before soft sighs and hitched but quiet gasps.

With his free hand, he takes a gulp of his drink and smacks his lips. Clearly, he needs to up the ante.

One of your hands holds the arm rest in a white knuckle grip as the other keeps the popcorn bucket settled in the middle of your lap. It's your is the best chance and only chance at hiding Terzo's hand as it delves between your legs.

He watches your face with a side smile. There is the smallest white of teeth as you bite your plump bottom lip and chew. Your eyes are half-lidded, and pupils blow wide enough he can hardly see the beautiful color of your iris. They stand out so well, despite the dark, because of your makeup, which looks fantastic. You really dolled yourself up for the night. Despite the work you went through to put yourself together, the plaid skirt and spaghetti strap tank top, the cute shoes and leggings, he'd much rather see your clothes on the floor and mascara running.

It will be a challenge for later today, once the movie is over and you're back home. Or maybe perhaps he could convince you to detour into the handicap stall.

"I love the way you look with my fingers inside you." He admits. Then he curls his fingers and your walls clench as he strokes that hard spongy spot inside of you. You bite back a curse and turn your head and gaze upwards, praying for strength as his palm grinds against your mounds, and he plays you like a fiddle.

"Dammit." You squeak and your legs clap closed as his fingers persistently lick at your g-spot. You're close, you've been trying to hold it off, trying to act uninterested but he just took it as a challenge and kept at it. He's winning, damn him.

His foot hooks around yours and pulls your legs back open and you take a deep and uneven breath as you hear the wet slide of his fingers while he curls and thrusts them inside of you. He slips them out for a second, spreading slick across your drying folds, before sliding them back in with a squelch that barely audible above the loud action of the movie, but to you it might as well have been as loud as a gunshot.

"You know, if we weren't in public right now, I'd have my head between your legs." You suck shallowly for air. Then, hiccup as your lower stomach trembles. You toss your head back when he twists his fingers, pressing harder against that delicious bundle in your cunt before he scissors them apart and repeats it.

You're getting close too quickly.

"We have an audience." Terzo smiles when he catches her, his voice not rising much higher than the whispers of a dramatic kiss in the movie. His admittance has your head jerking to your neighbor, who stares at you, catching you in the act, with her eyes wide and mouth hanging open in shock.

It stricks the match, sparks the flame, and then the fire engulfs you. You come hard. Your mouth opening in a silent scream, breath halting as you catch and ride out the tide while your cunt throbs with the waves of your orgasm, slicking around Terzo’s fingers even more.

It bubbles through you like soda fizz and spills over every nerve. You whimper as your walls clench down on his forceful digits and sucks them in and Terzo hides a mean smile in your shoulder before he pulls out his fingers and then begins to roughly stroke your clit, a button he's been avoiding that he now attacks to help guide you through your oragsm and wrings out every bit of pleasure he can. He's smug, managing to get you off without touching your clit once before now.

Your back bows forward in reaction, and your teeth chatter as your body shakes from the force of your climax. You hode your face in his hair, all the while he's expertly milking your climax from you.

Finally, the shocks wear out, and you're left to catch your breath and weakly slap his hand away, like you should have done at the beginning. You shyly peak back at your neighbor to see her gone, likely to go make a complaint and get you kicked out.

Terzo chuckles beside you, finally granting you mercy. He glances at his fingers, parting them, and looks transfixed at your wet slick, linking them together. You certainly did a number on him. The pads of his index and middle are pruned from your juices and how long he was going for. He hums at the sight before stuffing his fingers in his mouth, hollowing his cheeks as he flicks his tongue against the tips, licking all the residual cum.

He pops them off, darting his tongue out to lick it once more while he looks you dead in the eye and gives you a thousand dollar smile. Then, he adacously starts watching the movie.

"Fuck you." You groan, in post orgasm bliss you don't bother holding back your disdain or your volume.

You earn a loud shush from the back row and slide back in your seat in defeat.

[stuffnonsenseandotherthings]

Cupid's Last Wish Final Thoughts

Watch It Or Drop It The Challenge

A fireworks show of a drama which suffered from a few awkward pauses and which, even though it ended with the dampest of squibs, was a joy to watch.

Strengths

I think part of the reason I held off on watching Cupid's Last Wish for so long was because I was a little leery on the whole "BL but with body swap" premise. Don't get me wrong, I actually love the concept of a good body swap plot, who doesn't, I just haven't seen it done well very often. Luckily, however, Cupid's Last Wish more than impresses on this part and what could have been a very messy plot indeed was instead an incredibly well executed exploration of the self, the body, and the complex relationship between them. Through it's central premise Cupid's Last Wish delved into themes of gender identity, gender dysphoria and, as @wen-kexing-apologist, @lurkingshan, and @so-much-yet-to-learn delve into in this post, maps out a truly trans experience and, for that, it shines.

Another strength of the show, linked directly to the body swap, was how well it handled the misunderstanding and miscommunication between the main pairing. Normally, when confronted with a romantic miscommunication situation in a drama, it makes me want to tear my hair out with how unnecessary it is and how easily it could be fixed but not here. I could literally see Korn sending the wrong message and Win completely misleading things and I could understand why. At no point (apart from perhaps the last 2 episodes which I'll get to in a bit) was I questioning why Win thought Korn was in love with Lin or how Korn was unable to see what his actions were communicating to Win.

A final two strengths (before I move on to the weaknesses) are the cast and the soundtrack. I won't go too into depth (after all I expected Earth and Mix to put on an excellent performance) but the dynamics between the central trio were fantastic and Jan and Mix sharing two dual roles was an impressive (and impressively convincing) sight to see. Likewise the soundtrack was pretty basic but effective, the use of Tillybird's "Just Being Friendly" was a highlight and I've had Mix and Earth's "Closer" on repeat for my own trip.

Weaknesses

For all that Cupid's Last Wish does right, I won't lie, it also does quite a bit wrong with the main issue being that as well thought out and as beautifully executed as the body swap plot line, everything else feels a little... half hearted, half baked, half done. The inheritance plotline felt silly within a second of it being introduced (I still don't get why Win was so angry or why he held the grudge for so long when everything we'd been shown up to the "big reveal" indicated he should have felt the opposite); the Aunt and Uncle were barely there and, brief attempted murder on the part of the Aunt aside, barely villains at all (and were actually quite reasonable once they got to have civil chat); and the whole plot twist with the mum being the homophobic mastermind behind Win and Korn's estrangement was so poorly done and so rushed I'm still angry about it (she did absolutely nothing to be forgiven and I can't believe her revelation was swept under the rug in seconds).

I wish I could say these were minor things but they were, technically, half the drama and really soured things when it was time to focus back on them. What really put the nail in the coffin though, is the fact that these weaker elements became the entire focus of the show in the final two episodes which meant it ended with a decidedly wet plop rather than with a bang.

Conclusion

There is much to love about this drama and perhaps even more to explore with regards to its central theme but unfortunately some of its weaker elements were just a little too loud to completely ignore. I would still rewatch it (in fact I plan to) and I would still recommend it to anyone thinking of giving it a go (and even foist on people who weren't thinking about it at all) but I would also say that I wouldn't judge anyone who decided to speed run the final 2 episodes.

Watch or Drop: WATCH (but with a minor warning)

Final Score: 7.5/10 (closer to an 8 than a 7)

Would I rewatch it: Yes, heck I even want to write meta about it if I can find the time.

Watch It Or Drop It Masterpost

[yodomi-nikki]

From the story of Nurgle Fucker to the definition of love

The Great Unclean One and a human witch had a child that was half demon and half human. The preface to Nurgle Fucker Passport begins with this unforgettable legend told in the End Times. Every Wiki says, "For the sake of your sanity, don't think too deeply about it," but do you think mortals can stop thinking about how to somehow leave proof of their existence and connect? This rare case is a gift of possibility that Nurgle gave to a girl who dreams of fucking a supernatural being.

The unclean semen of the god kept the future mother healthy, regardless of her impure constitution, and designed a strong child that would at least repel weak diseases. Even if the witches were constantly using magic and medicine to nurture living things, this is an unthinkable result for the Nurgle family, who have the image that everything is made of pathogens.

The Father is happy to display the proud tapestry of decay and filth that is the result of his followers turning the cycle of life and death like a pedal sewing machine. In other words, he gives them bodies that do not die easily, worn-out sensitivity, and a warm euphoria, and lets them wander his garden and the world, standing on the cusp of all end times, treading blindfolded. That is the end of entropy.

Rather than destroying people, Chaos mutates them, giving birth to mutants who live in suffering or have no previous sentience. The most simple origin of Nurgle's hobby must be from here. The sperm of the Great Unclean One, which is modeled after him, functions normally so that such pleasure lasts longer.

Rather than giving the Maggot King Tamurkan strong limbs, he cursed him to be able to assert himself only in a rotting corpse. Just like how Kayzk, who offered his soul and body before accepting the disease, was given a deformed rotten flesh without any blessing, with no maggots or pus coming out of the scars (see the Total War model). Kayzk "the Befouled" can be interpreted as either a celebrity-like meaning or a truly hopeless meaning, so when I think about it, my thoughts rot before my brain does.

As expected, the lively half-breed Orghotts Daemonspew was not recognized by his grandfather, and for a long time he wandered around the garden, hating even the plague-bearers who worked in the garden, and cultivating mortals in order to be recognized as a demon. In the end, it seems that Nurgle is experimenting with how much the mind can endure a robust body, or a body that no longer has anything to fear. Just as we give a small amount of food to prolong hunger, is love made in the same way, or is it love that moves the rotten flesh after the body is offered?

I haven't been able to read the novel yet because I can't buy e-books in my country. It would be dishonest to talk about it from what I've heard, so I'll have to carefully read the two codexes I have for the Death Guard, but for now I'm going to enjoy my favorite Tamurkhan: The Throne of Chaos. There's a book version of Pile of Shame in it.

I really love those servants of the god Nurgle. I was going to talk about nsfw /reader stuff, but I ended up talking about my serious thoughts on Nurgle. I'd like to talk about that later, or rather, I'd like to delve deeper into the emo of Tamurkhan and Kayzk. Before I get bored.

[ruewrites]

Stars in the Deep

AO3

Ship: Asmodeus/Solomon

Word Count: 3186

Warnings: Smut

A/N: Consider this a very very very late MerMay piece. I was busy finishing my degree and writing my thesis and preparing to pass my defense (which I did! Woo!). But I have it for you now! I hope you all enjoy! BUT I saw quite a bit of Octopus mermaid Solomon (or sea witch Solomon) from the fandom... and I had to join in. I couldn't not. It was too good (and there should be more tentacles with Asmo, I said what I said). Comments are appreciated <3

Shiny peach colored scales glittered in the afternoon light. His glow reflected on the seafloor beneath him. It had taken forever for him to be able to slip away from under Lucifer's watchful eye. The elder mer was far too over protective for his liking, Asmodeus needed space to be free and explore as he pleased. Being cooped up in the reef with nothing to do was boring, and there were so many pretty sites to see.

It wasn't like Lucifer would give him permission either. If he knew where he was going, and who he was seeing, he would be absolutely furious.

Exploration was also what had brought them together though, and Asmodeus knew what was good for him.

He swam deeper, away from the surface and out of the territory he had grown up in. The temperature change was slight but noticeable and the slight chill made Asmo shiver. Then the coral started to change, and he found the patch he was searching for. The textures of the sand changed and what appeared to be shimmering coins and pearls were littered around an opening in the ocean floor surrounded by rocks.

Well… not quite rocks.

It was hollow, and varied in texture. Almost like a boulder and the shape was odd. Sometimes it creaked, and parts of it flowed with the ocean current, barely holding on by a thread. Allegedly, humans used them to traverse the surface. It made little sense to Asmo, but that is what he was told. 

 He approached the cracked entrance without fear, even as his wrist was taken by a tendril.

“No hello Darling?”

“I would have, if you hadn't interrupted me,” the upper half of the figure poked out of the hole, he was pale, almost translucent, and his hair was whiter than any Asmodeus had seen before. He was so different than any other creature Asmodeus had ever encountered before, and so intriguing. His tentacles were blotches of white and dark blues with specks of black. Another tentacle joined the first, “You're early.”

“I was able to sneak out quicker this time, you know I can't exactly tell Lucifer when I plan on seeing you Solomon, Great Witch of the Deep,” Asmodeus pecked his nose, giving some color to Solomon's face.

He cleared his throat, eyes shifting ever so slightly, “I believe we are past titles my Peach.”

“You still haven't shown me what a paesh is.”

“Peach, Dearest, and I plan on changing that today.”

Asmo's eyes lit up and he pulled on the tentacle, surprising Solomon and succeeding in pulling him farther out of his cave, “Does that mean we get to go to the surface? I would love to lounge on a beach with you. I also know some lovely basking rocks that we can lay on to warm up.”

Solomon squinted and raised one of his arms to shield his eyes, his other tentacles firmly anchoring him to the cave's entrance. “Perhaps not now, the sun's a bit bright.”

Asmodeus felt himself be tugged towards the entrance, closer into the depths, “But I do have some things for you, if you would just-” another tug, “Follow me?” 

“It's a tight fit.”

“But you've entered before even if just a bit.”

Normally Asmo would enter a bit before pulling away, and then the two of them would spend time amongst the structures around Solomon’s home instead. Those weren’t as intimidating to Asmodeus as delving further from the surface was, yet Solomon always invited him, always yearning for him to dive deeper. 

Asmodeus didn’t miss the way Solomon flinched whenever the sun hit him in a particular way, how he hid under more shady structures, how easily his skin seemed to turn red. 

There was hesitation on both sides. Asmo gave one last glance to the surface and to the sunlight. The dark made it difficult to swim and see. It wasn't the world he was familiar with. And yet-

“I swear, I will take you to visit the surface.”

It was intriguing.

“I promise.”

And some part of Asmo wanted to dive deeper more than anything.

Entering was a tight squeeze, but once he was in, Solomon helped guide him. Apprehension had started to fill Asmodeus as the claustrophobia set in and the more he contemplated changing his mind and heading back to the entrance, but the deeper they went, the more the cave opened and slowly his anxieties seeped away. The farther he went, the more the world changed until it was entirely unrecognizable. Shimmering plants that Asmodeus had never seen before covered the walls, illuminating the dark path, and that wasn't the only difference.

“Welcome to my humble abode.”

Solomon was glowing. His colors had changed to light blues and greens and pinks which shimmered and glowed with the rest of the flora and fauna. Asmodeus had never seen a thing like it before. Even among the glowing ceilings and walls, he was a centerpiece in the massive cavern they had entered. 

He was beautiful.

“Solomon, you're glowing,” he couldn't help swimming around the mer, examining him. He was also much bigger than Asmodeus had realized, “I didn't know you could do that.” 

Solomon was grinning, he seemed both quite pleased with himself and with Asmodeus’ reactions. “You've never made it all the way down here before.” 

His tentacles flared out, showing off more of his newfound color. Solomon was confident, but down here he was in his element, here Asmodeus could watch him thrive. His eyes traced the intricate markings along his body as he placed himself on display, and Asmo wanted to trace each and every one. 

Then Solomon snapped back to his side, hands on his back guiding him further into the cavern “Please, make yourself at home, take a look around while I grab some things.” 

Asmo couldn't help but touch almost everything he came across. Fauna like this didn't exist in higher waters where he normally roamed. He wondered  if he could decorate himself with it. All of the glowing colors would help his beauty pop even more.

“Asmodeus?” Asmo turned to see Solomon holding a round object in his hands, “I promised you I'd show you a peach. Humans drop cargo from their ships all the time, and I wanted you to try this before it got too soggy.” It was still slightly firm to the touch, still untouched by the murky depths to which Solomon had dragged it so his beloved could have a taste. He helped Asmo raise it to his lips, and watched with delight as sharp teeth punctured supple flesh. 

How lucky had he been to find a toppled barrel bobbing at the surface? One that had been harboring such delightful goodies no less. 

Waiting for Asmo’s reaction, Solomon continued to hold the fruit towards his mouth, but there was only so long he could contain himself, “Well?”

Asmo swallowed, “It’s sweet.”

“Just like you.”

“I like it,” the mer finished off the peach, even gnawing at the pitt long after the flesh was gone. Solomon took his hands and removed the pitt from his mouth, “I would hate for you to chip your wonderful teeth.”

Solomon always wondered if Asmodeus had any siren in him, or maybe some distant shark, he loved those sharp little teeth. They were very pretty, and very attractive for a multitude of reasons. He especially liked the way they bit. With Asmodeus it was so hard to control himself.

Asmodeus let out a little squeal as Solomon's tentacles wrapped around him, two beginning to slowly rub along the front of his tail where a small patch of scaled were separated ever so slightly. Asmo hummed and wrapped his arms around Solomon's neck, “Did you just want to butter me up with dinner first.”

Solomon had one hand on Asmo’s waist and the other ran through Asmo’s hair, “Not originally no, but can you blame me? You look beautiful my Peach.”

Leaning in, Solomon could feel Asmo’s smile on his lips as they kissed. The mer was incredibly appealing, both in personality and appearance. If Solomon could have his way, he’d keep him down here with his other pretty things forever. A pleased groan left his lips as he felt the tip of his first tentacle slip into Asmo’s vent.  He pulled away and let himself nip along Asmo’s neck, enjoying the pleased sighs that left him as his tentacles squirmed into his warm depths.

“They’re so cute,” Asmo murmured, picking up one of the tentacles and bringing it to his lips  and pressing kisses along its length. The rest of the tentacles continued to wrap around Asmo maneuvering him so that his back was pressed firmly against Solomon’s chest. A few traveled down his torso making him shudder. 

“They feel so empty when you’re gone,” Solomon cooed, trailing his hand down Asmo’s chest. The feeling of muscles shuddering between his fingertips was like electricity in his body. He loved feeling Asmo start to twist against him as his breathing hitched. It meant he was doing a good job, it meant he was pleasuring his pretty little lover, “Feeling good?”

Asmodeus let out a little drawn out groan in response, his head lolling back over Solomon’s shoulder. His fingers wandered down to where they connected, and stroked along one of the tentacles making it stutter and Solomon made a noise behind him, “Starting to, think we could pick up the pace a bit more?” Slowly, he wrapped his fingers around the tentacle and started stroking. He was egging Solomon on, touching him where he was sensitive, his other hand caressing the side of his face along his markings and running through his hair. 

The noise that left Asmo's mouth when he complied was nothing short of heavenly. Each twitch was divine and his twisting made Solomon aware of how much he was enjoying himself, and he couldn’t help but tighten his grip. Burying his face in the crook of Asmo’s neck, he nibbled ever so slightly.  Every inch of Asmodeus was beyond comprehension, his mind went hazy as he made his way deeper into his partner. 

Solomon's tentacles squirmed and squelched inside of him as he held Asmodeus close. Pale fingers reached down to toy with the pink nub that had begun to protrude from his vent, and the sensation of pleasure shot through Asmodeus like lightning. 

“Solomon! Wait- wait! I'm about to-” 

“Shhh,” Solomon's hand reached up Asmo's throat, gently caressing his skin, “Let me make you cum as many times as I can.”

His own voice shook, his brows furrowed together and eyes closed as he buried his fade in Asmo's shoulder. His fingers further coaxed Asmo's length, as his tentacles worked his vent. He rubbed along the underside, not missing a single ridge or groove as he went. Asmodeus continued to squirm and whine in his grasp, his noises becoming more fervent the closer he came to his orgasm. Solomon switched from a gentle but persistent rubbing of his cock to a firm grip around him. His stroking was in tandem with his tentacles. 

With a squeal, his cock lurched, shooting off pearly strings of cum, that dissipated into the surrounding water. But the tentacles continued to thrust, they were far from done, and the sensations in his vent seemed to be keeping Asmodeus erect.

Asmo himself couldn't think of anything beyond the pleasure assaulting his core. It was a building pressure, and each one of Solomon's tentacles rubbed against sensitive walls. 

“Don't stop, please don't stop.”

It was amazing, and those words even failed to properly express what he was feeling. Yet, Solomon complied. His rapid pace and short thrusts had Asmo letting out  a cry as the inner walls of his vent fluttered and clenched. His body went rigid before slumping against Solomon. With a groan of his own Solomon felt himself release sperm packets deep within the other mer's vent. He remained inside as he held Asmodeus close, allowing them both  to drift to the bottom of the cave, nestled comfortably below. 

He noted Asmodeus still twitching cock with amusement.

“Was two not enough for you my Peach?” 

“You said you'd make me cum as many times as you could,” Asmo shot back.

“So I did.” 

Without a word, and plenty of smiles, Solomon removed himself from Asmo's vent and moved lower, careful to place his chosen partner carefully and comfortably on the surface below. He took in the length for a moment, admiring how thin wisps of their coupling dissipate before him. His fingers toyed with his partner's opening and the base of his cock before taking him onto his mouth. He went slow, savoring the way Asmodeus twitched and gasped, and how his fingers gripped at his hair. 

Honestly? He could watch his partner like this for hours and get off without physical stimulation The way his face twisted in pleasure, how his body twitched and his pretty fin flicked. Asmodeus was enthusiastic and just as sensitive as he was. If they had had similar anatomy, Solomon would have loved to thrust deep into his vent, chest to chest. If only, but Solomon could still have his fantasies even if it wasn’t something he could have in reality.

Asmo tightened his grip on his hair as he came again, and Solomon took all of him.

“Solly?” Asmo seemed confused, until his tongue probed deeper into his vent. 

“One more,” was all Solomon said before diving in.

Asmodeus’ mind was pleasantly numb and buzzing with pleasure. His hips thrust weakly as Solomon worked on him, and god what phenomenal work he did. When he came this time from the sensations in his vent, his cock let out one final release before retracting. His voice hitched and his grip on Solomon tightened before he went limp. The inside of his vent thrummed and pulsed with a comfortable final wave of pleasure, one so strong that he wasn't sure if he'd be able to move. His eyes shifted towards Solomon who hadn't left his side. Rather his tentacles started to curl around his body once more and he caressed what he could reach with his hands. He even brought one up to his lips  gracing it with a gentle kiss, and he swore he saw Solomon shudder.

“Do you use that trick on all the pretty mer who come into your cave?” 

Solomon chuckled, finally wrapping his arms around Asmodeus, he could make a crude joke about cumming in another cave, but for now he wanted to savor this moment, “What do you think?”

“I think you’re a charmer.”

“Only for you,” Solomon pulled away and looked into Asmo's eyes, “And no one else. Now rest, there is still one thing I wish to show you, and I have a promise to keep.”

***

They ascended from the depths hand in hand and breached the surface. The  water was still, not a wave in sight, the only movement occurring was where they disturbed the water. Solomon had brought him to what looked like a hidden grove, just off the coast of a sandy shore. After their coupling, Asmodeus found himself curled up to rest. He watched Solomon in between bouts of sleep as he moved about the cavern. Occasionally he would come back to Asmodeus’ side to play with his hair and kiss his forehead, before moving around again. He left tiny slices of peaches by Asmo’s side that the mer happily consumed along with trinkets for him to play with. Asmo recognized some as little pretty things that he had gifted to Solomon. When he lingered long enough, Asmo would coax him closer and trace along his pretty markings. He would start with the appendages, then his stomach and chest, and then the ones on his face before pulling him into a kiss. Then Solomon would laugh and whisper to him to rest.

 Once he was rested, Solomon prompted their journey to the surface. Just as he promised. 

“I like coming here,” Solomon said as he led Asmo up onto the landing of the grove, “It's quiet and where I find all of my treasures.”

“You didn't find me here.”

“Almost all of my treasures.”

His tentacles wrapped around Asmo, swaddling him protectively and holding him close.  His markings could still be faintly seen under the starlight. Asmo shuddered as cold fingertips brushed against his arms. Looking down at their bodies tangled together, it was hard to discern where Asmo's body ended and Solomon's began. He traced along one of them and looked back up at Solomon, “Where would you be if you had not met me?”

Solomon smiled and pressed a kiss to Asmo's forehead, “Where would I be indeed.”

They laid in silence, watching the stars and enjoying each other's presence. Then Asmo raised his arm and traced a shape into the sky using his finger, “Ursa Major.”

“Hm?”

“Ursa Major. It’s that cluster of stars right there,” he traced the shape once more with his fingers and then continued on, “If you keep swimming in that direction, there’s a lot of those big floating rocks. Like the one around your cove.”

“You mean ships?”

“Is that what it is?”

Solomon’s eyes lingered on the shape Asmodeus had traced in the sky and then down to where Asmodeus was pointing, “Ursa Major…”

“There’s more too if you like that,” Asmo pointed  to another cluster, “That one is Cepheus, and then his wife Cassiopia is over there- They’re both royalty you know- And then that one over there is Draco, a dragon. Oh! And that one is Ursa Minor-”

Solomon pulled Asmo closer, head resting atop Asmodeus’ pretty blonde locks as he named more and more of the stars. One day he could ask him how he knew all of the names and stories, but for now, he was content to relax and listen as he held Asmodeus securely in his tentacles. In the morning he would have to say goodbye to Asmodeus again and spend the days collecting treasures from the  surface and waiting for his return. 

Asmodeus would make his way back home. Lucifer would be pacing around, ready with a lecture that he had been preparing every second Asmodeus was missing. Asmo would sit and whine for hours as he was reprimanded, responding with vague answers about where he’d been.  Then he’d wait with lazy days spent sunning himself on rocks at the surface and staring at his reflection and his pretty glittering scales. Until he’d see Solomon, he’d stare at and adorn mementos from the sea witch. Pearls, pretty jewelry, and trinkets he couldn’t name from the surface. Solomon always slipped him one before he departed. Leaving scale’s behind for Solomon or little pretty things from the seafloor were ways that he showed his affection. A treasure for a treasure, reminders until they could see each other again. 

They spoke silently, staring at the stars. Time stood still as treasured memories formed above the surface. 

Both of them believed the stars looked a bit brighter this night.

[miqolena]

My first-final thoughts on Dawntrail

My opinions and spoilers for the entirety of 7.0 under the cut.

Overall I enjoyed this expansion immensely. There was no point at which I thought to myself, "I can't wait for this part to be over," or "This is really dull," or "I want to move on to the next thing right now." There was no character I did not enjoy and feel at least something small for. Characters I kind of didn't like initially (Bakool Ja Ja mostly) ended up being some of the characters that I loved most. Wuk Lamat was a joy in her development. I wasn't annoyed by her initial faults and I liked that she retained some of them even at the end, after she had grown so immensely. Zoraal Ja's dimensions were revealed a little late into the game, but I had already sort of gotten a notion of them by the time that happened, so I didn't mind, and I find the idea of struggling with the legacy someone leaves you with the best of intentions to be really compelling. I adored Gulool Ja Ja to pieces. And Wuk Eva. And literally everyone else. I'm serious, there's no one I didn't like.

The area that affected me most was Living Memory, and if that was like kicking me in the shin, then Heritage Found was the winding back of the leg. I have dealt with my own losses in life and the whole thing with reusing souls and resurrecting people and preserving them based on their memories was grotesque to me. My loved ones are gone, and we had wonderful relationships and I loved them dearly, but I would never want to speak to them again. Because they are dead and should stay that way. But the scene with Wuk Lamat speaking her last words to Namikka was terribly upsetting because I couldn't help imagining the things I would say to my loved ones if I could see them again. It struck home with painful precision and there were tears.

The themes of love, legacy, war, redemption, death, and loss were poignant to me, and I think they were handled really well.

As for the encounter design, the dungeons were fairly difficult but I never died in a Trust run, so they must not have been too hard. Same with the trials. I can see myself doing these things over and over again without getting too tired of it for the next two or so years. The single player duties were great except for the one QTE in the duel with Gulool Ja Ja, which stressed my hands to the point of forcing me to take a break for a few hours.

For gathering, I appreciate the new action Revisit that the game added to the two gatherers, it's always exciting when it procs. Fisher seems to be sitting pretty too. I haven't done all of them yet but so far the Wachumeqimeqi quests have been great, and I haven't done any of the role quests yet, so no opinions there. For crafting, I haven't really delved into the potential of the new actions, but I know they're probably going to shake up the game a little.

Music was spot on as usual. The game's graphical update has done wonders for the visuals as well. I'm lucky in that I'm completely enamored with Lena's updated appearance; a lot of people aren't so happy. I hope that their concerns can be addressed over time.

This might be new expansion smell filling my head, but I think Dawntrail might be my favorite. I can't wait to see where they're going with this, the aftermath to the threads they made in the MSQ. I want more of these characters and places and I know I'm going to get it, and that's the most comforting feeling.

As for fic, though… I think it's going to be hard to put Gaius in there with Lena. The entire first half the WoL is providing a role of mentorship for Wuk Lamat and I'm going to have to think really hard about how I write the MSQ so that Gaius is there and not just nodding his head and going 🧍‍♂️. There are a few moments when I was playing where I thought to myself "Gaius could respond to this with something relevant to his character," like for example when Zoraal Ja remarks that the Empire was full of idiots, but those were just a few moments. It'll be hard to fit him in with the rest of it and depict the MSQ in a way that's both not boring/retreading what viewers have already seen to much while still getting the information of the plot AND my changes across. We'll see how it goes. I'm not super hankering to start, so we'll see when I get to that.

That's all. See you ingame!

[stromuprisahat]

Do you think Leigh Bardugo planned to write the King of Scars duology? At first I thought so, because of Nikolai's scars from the Merzost. But given how the duology is ultimately written, I don't think so at all. I also have the impression that all the characters are the spokespersons there to remind how horrible the Darkling is, which is objectively ridiculous. She even went so far as to tell Alina that Nikolaï, Zoya and the others are trying to repair the damage caused by his wars with him... Whereas the Darkling barely caused a civil war in the original trilogy, and no has nothing to do with the wars against Shu Han and Fjerda. So what is this shit dialogue?! What plural wars has the Darkling caused?! Why is he held responsible for Genya's rape?! Why do we demonize the creation of the little palace?! Why would the Darkling tell Zoya "you and I are going to change the world" as a manipulation technique?! What fucking use?! Why are the characters like, "Let him be the hero or not?" in the end, whereas if he doesn't sacrifice himself EVERYONE DIES?! This duology is such an absurd demonization of the character that it gives me a headache...

I think she planned it the same way it usually looks she does. She has some nice ideas, puts them together as she goes, and doesn't much deal with implications. What's sad is that neither does her editor, whose job should be to poke and prod.

I've read the books as soon as they were out, so my memory hopefully isn't the best, but:

Yes for author's mouthpieces. Especially poor Genya got reduced into just that and a victim. Then there are the bigot twins or Zoya, especially her famous Darkling's crimes speech.

“That’s the moment? Not in manipulating a young girl and trying to steal her power, or destroying half a city of innocent people, or decimating the Grisha, or blinding your own mother? None of those moments feel like an opportunity for self-examination?”

Rule of Wolves- Chapter 9

I'm pretty sure I've encountered antis with the very same list.

Alina's just heartbreaking in case you survived her epilogue in R&R unscathed. What we see resembles an empty shell taught equally empty phrases to repeat in public. When viewed through reader's lenses, it's just another mouthpiece, paraded around to remind us Alina had it all coming and the Darkling bad (in case you haven't caught onto that yet).

“No. But every child I help heals something inside me, every chance I have to tend to someone left in the wake of your wars. And maybe when our country is free, then that wound will close.”

Rule of Wolves- Chapter 14

What I find hilarious, is how the Righteous Gang™ dealt with their neighbouring countries. They tricked Shu Han into signing a treaty about peace and alliance... only to have it broken in the very same book. They won a war with Fjerda in a single battle, because Zoya threw their strategy to the wind, but appeared soon enough to be proclaimed Saint for being a dragon or something?!

Sorry, but LB's idea of how politics, religion and warfare work is beyond ridiculous.

The Darkling's obviously responsible for Genya's rape, because he's been micromanaging late King, which is why his Coup went so smoothly... and we can't have the reader question how fair has been the late Tsar's punishment, how well it prevented repetition of his crimes, or if getting rid of him in the first place might've prevented his reappearance and role in challenge to Nikolai's legitimacy.

Little Palace needs to be discredited, so we don't question The Gang's decision to abolish the law that takes children from their loving families. Don't. Just don't delve into it. There's no point.

I've read pretty good explanation of that catch up line. Zoya's often lying. If Alina's an unreliable narrator, due to her damaging upbringing and prejudice, Zoya's simply happier to see the world as she pleases. She's consciously choosing delusion. Alina might have mentioned what the Darkling told her, and Zoya's always been his special girl, right?! Even current regime's propaganda calls her the Darkling's favourite...

The only BUT I see is that for some reason, Aleksander uses the very same sentence on one of his Starless minions. Then again, that Aleksander has no fucks left to give, and even he suffered Zoya-praising disease, so excuse me, when I don't trust the author with her own characters and keeping them IN CHARACTER.

The ending is a mix of absurdity and heartless cruelty. The Darkling's constantly called monster, accused of NOT caring about the damage he causes... but reading the last few chapters made me despise the author's Coolest Female Trinity beyond measure.

I've delved into this somewhere already, but what I appreciate in real people and fictional characters alike, is kindness. Not blind or endless, but kindness. Having a bunch of "children", who barely lived a few decades, condemn a person to eternity of suffering, is beyond detestable. I might understand they all feel wronged by him (I don't.), but they all also owe him pretty much. And they're in no position to judge him.

If such short and relatively easy lives made them this unsympathetic, he should've been congratulated for hanging on so well.

It also wouldn't do any harm to cut about a quarter of those books, including the obvious fanservice.

[emersonfreepress]

You previously mentioned that we will be able to play as the child of immigrant parents. But how will you handle where the family comes from? Because let's be real: a kid whose parents come from Sweden or Germany won't get the same type of reactions as one whose family come from Mexico or Iran.

And that's even assuming the family are ethnically from those countries and not, say, people who went from one country to another to escape civil war or poverty or whatever, then came to the USA. Which is very detailed and nitpicking, I know, but I am very curious about this particular route.

Would it be right to assume MC's whose family have immigrant backgrounds would have it set, like how MC's family in non-immigrant route have certain set characteristics (upper middle class, how they came to their vices that caused current economic issues etc.)?

I haven't decided on exactly how I want to do it as far as accommodating backgrounds; as in, the choice scene isn't written or coded yet. But I really love what C.C. Hill @when-life-gives-you-lemons-if did in Insert Rich Family Name when it comes to customizing the family's background and plan to do something similar. (I highly recommend that game btw; and anything else CC writes tbh) Opening up a country of origin choice for immigrant MCs, however, means that I'm definitely reversing my decision to exclude skin tone customization. The game doesn't delve into things like colorism and or specific ethnic perspectives because I'm one person and just can't write all that 😅 but continent and country of origin will be a separate choice from things like appearance customization.

There are set characteristics of the second-gen MC's past but they don't differ wildly from the local background. Since the parents are characters with set personalities that I actually feature in scenes and dialogue, though, the immigrant backstory still needs to follow roughly the same beats as the local one. Your parents still lucked into money and spent it quickly and unwisely.

I know what you mean by the reactions that different migrant groups garner from people in real life, especially as the kid of African immigrants, but the setting I'm writing isn't like that. That's super unrealistic for a town like Emerson in real life — but it's a fiction and the story I'm telling isn't about facing or overcoming discrimination. If I was writing a version of Emerson that had a historical past actually typical of the United States, so many things, so many, would not exist as they are and I'd be writing a completely different story. The story I have written is just like... inappropriate honestly, for a setting like a realistic Emerson. I would not care to write about some high school kids at the prep school, I would much rather explore the politics and criminal underbelly of the adult world -- if I was writing this realistically.

To some degree, there are darker, more realistic aspects of Emerson as a setting (like blacklisting and what discrimination in Emerson even looks like) but that won't be explored until Book 2 because the MC will be an adult finally navigating life with the other adults. But this Book and this story are about the very insular perspective of a privileged kid from a weird fictional town. You could almost call a teenage MC an unreliable narrator, regardless of background, because they have lucked out in not experiencing much personal hardship. It doesn't mean my world doesn't acknowledge or have these things; literal case and points being Gabe and Kile. The MC is ignorant to a lot of what they haven't experienced and is written that way — and the characters who have had vastly different and harsher experiences also have their own limitations in perspective.

What you're describing just isn't what I'm exploring and xenophobia is not the sort of thing I'd want to inject half-assed for realism's sake or drop as some form of flavor text. I used to have a variable that let players choose if their last name gets frequently mispronounced because to me it's a funny thing that I relate to my immigrant experience. But I scrapped It because at the end of the day, it's just coding a micro-aggression that does literally nothing for the story or character development. Realistic discrimination doesn't enhance the story because I didn't create a story based in a realistic world. ...I think that sentence might sum it up, yeah.

I get that people don't have access to my notes or unpublished work and I don't presume that you know my background! But I'm confident I know what I'm doing with the option — and if it sucks, y'all better tell me (!!) and I'll have the whole rest of development to improve it.

[tokiro07]

Undead Unluck ep.3 thoughts

[I'm Going Through Changes...and So's This Anime]

(Contents: Ch.4-5 comparison, animation, voice acting)

Ginaaa!!! Or Gena, as they're going with for this version. I guess that's the official spelling now? I don't think Viz is changing theirs, but either way it's going to be annoying going forward needing to deal with multiple "canon" spellings

Anyway, Gina's introduction was really fun! Very full of energy, animation really helps bring her to life in a way that a manga panel just can't. That said, I don't think I really like that they showed her face when she was attacking from the satellite. When we first saw her in chapter 5, it took me a second to realize who she was, but after seeing her fully revealed like that, it's not too hard to connect that the girl in the first and second half of the episode are the same. I guess it's obvious anyway, but still, a little mystique is better than no mystique

There were lots of great bits sprinkled throughout the episode, with the animation and sound effects really adding a lot to the experience. Andy's 5-point landing being slowed down to a step-by-step process rather than happening all at once really drove home how unsettling what was happening was, and of course his Crimson Crescent Moon was sick as hell, I appreciated that it wasn't effectively just two frames (beginning and end with no movement in between). The arc of the swing wasn't what I imagined, I always figured that the draw -> swing -> resheathe was one fluid motion, but in practice they seem to have made it a real iaido technique, which is really cool

Gina summoning her beret had a nice bit of improvement in this verion, with it digitally apparating atop her head. In the manga it just showed up when she asked for it, and I thought maybe they like...I don't know, shot it down to her from space? This was a really cool touch that was completely unnecessary but added a lot of flavor to the scene, even if the mechanism doesn't have a clear explanation (she obviously didn't use the Union's usual warp method since the effect was digital and not cracks in the air, nor does it seem to line up with anything that I recognize from the manga in later chapters)

The highlight of the episode though had to be Gina's voice though. The shift from her bubbly persona to her getting serious was so god damn ominous, and coupled with her immediate display of power really reminded me that she's one of the Union's top members. I don't think it's ever established what her position is, but I'm decently confident that she's pretty high up, especially considering her tenure

If they made that one scene look so good, I'm super excited for next week's episode, they've really convinced me that they'll be able to do it justice! That said, they've been going at a pace of approximately two chapters per episode, and my estimate for next week's would take about three, so...I'm not sure if they're going to rush through it to match the pace I've suggested, or if they're going to stay at two chapters to really delve into it. I could go either way on it since this is going to be a very action-heavy segment, which means they could easily get through it relatively quickly

I've been thinking a lot lately that Gina's been rising the ranks of my favorite UU characters, and seeing her brought to life has definitely given her a boost. I haven't quite settled on her as my absolute fave yet, but damn if she isn't getting close

[transuncletaylor]

Gather around, it's time for my Christmas/Holiday story or how I got very lost in Seoul cause I'm a dumbass. (I'm gonna use she/her when referring to myself cause I was identifying as a woman then)

Picture it, it's December 2009 in Seoul, South Korea. Ya girl Taylor has been in the city for about two weeks at this point and the first time I had been to Korea. My sister was an English teacher at a hagwon (after school program) and I largely spent the afternoon and evenings exploring the city while she was at work.

Now before we delve into the meat of the story, there are a few things we need to establish. One, I can read the Korean alphabet and speak a little, just enough to get around. Two, I did not have a smartphone because it's 2009 and they weren't really a thing yet. Three, my sister had written down in my notebook her address, her phone number, her work number, all sorts of important info and key phrases.

So skip to December 24th, it's Christmas Eve and it's cold as fuck and it snowed a little that day. I had lunch with my sister, I think we had gone to a sushi buffet place I think. One of things I had planned to do that day was go to this live taping at a radio station that a few members of Super Junior were going to be at. I told my sister where I was going and what time to expect me back that evening.

We part ways and I go about doing who knows what because the radio show wasn't until like 9pm. Before we continue, I think we'll need a map real quick. My sister lived in Mapo-gu, worked in I can't remember but towards the west, and the radio station was at KBS On at Yeouido Island. Note the Han River cuts the city in half.

My 20 year old self did not have a cellphone actually either, well I had one but I just couldn't use it in Korea. I go on my way and that evening I head over to KBS. I get there, got a little lost where the viewing area was and saw a kpop star, from Beast/Highlight in the wild. But I find the viewing area and I'm just living my best kpop girlie life. (In another post we'll talk about how I had dinner with Yesung from Super Junior's parents)

After a while it's getting late and I know I need to head back because the buses and subways were shutting down early. I head back to the main bus area on the island and find the bus number I needed and hop on, grateful for the warmth. The bus starts going and I just have my headphones on listening to my iPod nano.

So my sister lives on the other side of the river right? I have to cross the river which is wide as fuck and I notice after maybe 30 minutes that we haven't crossed the river yet. At first I thought I might have just zoned out and started paying attention more. But none of the stops sounded familiar to me and nothing was looking like Hongdae, which is where I was going to get off.

Dumbass moment number one was I waited about another 15 minutes before I realized I might have made a mistake. I go up to the bus driver and ask about my stop and he slaps his hands on the wheels and curses a bit. But other than that, I couldn't understand what he was saying. A kind older gentleman rider came up and translated for me and that's when I found out I had the correct bus number but instead of inbound, I went outbound.

Just stay on the bus right? It'll head in the other direction? No. That was the last bus of the night.

The kind gentleman took me to his stop and I followed like a lost duckling and luckily for me he brought me to a police station. So just imagine me, a dumb 20 year old white girl in South Korean police station, there's limited communication and I'm scared and feeling like a giant idiot for getting lost and now bothering these two police officers with my dumbassery.

Surely it can't get worse, Taylor. You have your sister's number, you can just call her and probably get a cab.

Yeah, you would think, but this is me we're talking about, my dumbassery is limitless. I was born a himbo before I even knew it. So you remember that notebook I had with all of that contact information and address? Yeah, I left that at the apartment. I didn't know what her number was much less her street address. I could point it out on a map though so that was close enough.

That's not all though, I didn't have any cash on me and there wasn't Venmo or cashapp these days and debt cards/credit cards didn't often work at a lot of places abroad. I had already spent the cash I had on me that day and so the police officer takes me next door to pull cash at the ATM in the 7-11. Except that ATM doesn't accept my card.

We go back to the police station and they call a taxi company to see if they would take me but without cash and an exact address or a phone number, they say no. They think I will just run out on the tab and the drive was going to be far.

At this point, I have no money, no prospects, and scared. Oh and no way to contact my sister to let her know where I was and that I was okay. What am I going to do now? Take a nap on the leather couch in the police station, of course. I am given a Krispy Kreme donut and a space heater and I just knock out a few hours until 6am when the buses start running again.

The police wave down the bus and explain to the bus driver about the dumb dumb foreigner who got lost and how she needs to get to Hongdae. Actually, I don't even think I had enough money on my bus card but uhhhh, yeah I think people were tired of my shit at this point. So I'm seated on the bus, nice and cozy and... I fall asleep.

I'm woken up later by someone nudging me and everyone on the bus staring at me because the bus driver is trying to get my attention over the intercom. We had made it to Hongdae and goddamn, I feel so bad for the people involved in this because I was such a fucking idiot. Thank you to everyone who had helped me that night and I hope each of them are doing well now.

I get off the bus and start walking back to my sister's apartment and it's about a 30 minute walk. I get back to her place, punch in the numbers into the keypad on her front door and walk in. And it goes like:

Leah, out of sight in her loft bed area: ...Taylor?

Me, at the front door: ...hiiiiiiiiiiiii sister

She comes running down and nearly squeezed me in half from the tightest hug I had ever received. There are tears going down both of our faces and yeah, like she's a 24 year old whose little sister was missing in a big city in a country far far from home. After making sure I was real and not hurt, I told her about my wild adventure and where I was and why I didn't call.

Now what was she up to while I was a toasty little cinnamon roll fast asleep on a couch in a police station? She had gotten home around 11pm from work and waited until midnight for me to return. When I wasn't back by then, she started to get nervous and around 1am she called our mother to say that she thinks I'm missing.

They both then go into action. My sister calls the police and through her tears explains that her little sister hasn't come home and she doesn't know where I am. She gives them my description and two of them show up at her apartment to get a photo of me. From what I was told, that was sent around to police stations and the hospitals were alerted to be on the look out for a white girl with my description.

So end of story right? I'm back home, the police and embassy are told about my return and cancelled the alert. Everything is fine and it's Christmas Day, so let's open presents and eat some tasty food and be merry. Taylor, what else could happen that day? Taylor... Taylor, why aren't you saying the end? Taylor, please. Please, how far does your dumbassery go?

My mother had called the US embassy and told them about my disappearance and so like, plenty of people are looking for my lost dumb ass. But Taylor, weren't you in a police station? Wouldn't they have gotten the alert and replied back that they had you? Good point, but you see, I was not in Seoul at this point. I had sat my ass on that bus long enough that I ended up in Anyang. I tried putting a second map to this post, but Tumblr keeps fucking up and not saving it, so please look at your map app for Anyang.

My mother also thinks I've been kidnapped and sent to North Korea and is just blasting all over Facebook about me missing.

Leah still has to go to work that day, so she gets a short nap in, we'll do presents when she gets home that evening. She's not having to work a whole day, so she'll be home early. I plan on staying at the apartment, though I do venture out to the store to get some groceries for Christmas dinner. An ajumma gave me a wrapped gift on the way back and it was a cute pair of socks and an info slip about the local neighborhood church. I think I still have those socks.

While she was at work, I started cooking which is never a good idea because I have made the fire alarm go off by boiling water. In my luggage, I brought a toaster oven that was my mother's Christmas gift to Leah and a plug converter. I plugged it in, but my dumbass did it wrong cause when I turned it on, I blew a fuse in her apartment. However, I made dinner and she came home and we opened gifts and watched movies.

The End.